Wumbo Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 I love humanity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Ron Posted July 25, 2013 Author Popular Post Share Posted July 25, 2013 Episode 3: A Hot Mess SpongeBob was out walking the streets of Bikini Bottom, looking for a place to purchase quality spin-offs, because none were to be found on The SpongeBob Cockmmunity. SpongeBob had had the intense desire for some hardcore spin-off action... that kind of spin-off action that could only be found in adult stores. He entered The Lit-bia, where XXX spin-offs/lits lined the walls! SpongeBob was finally in paradise; he could stuff his holes with that good stuff. "Woah!" exclaimed SpongeBob. "Is that you, CNF?" CNF was working at The Lit-bia as the cashier. "Yes, it is me," said CNF rather poetically. "I have come to work here, as I am in dire need of high quality spin-offs and lits!" Suddenly, Clappy, jjs, Metal Snake, SOF, and every other bitch ass popped into the store, agreeing. SpongeBob was suddenly in trouble, so he raced out of the store, forgetting to buy his spin-offs! As soon as he got home to the Pubeapple, he slammed the door shut and held Gary very close. "They're coming for us, Gary. They're coming for us." that70sguy92 suddenly burst in through the wall; SpongeBob screamed. "SPONGEBOB," screamed that70sguy92. "I AM THE MODERN SBC USER (a la The Terminator)." "Oh, Kelp Fries!" said SpongeBob in the gayest voice possible, with the most effeminate movements imaginable (srsly, wtf, Aaron Springer?). SpongeBob dodged 70s's rays and ran upstairs, where he discovered the Fantastic Five in disgusting clothing that looked like something Kevin_ng might wear. "SpongeBob!" said OMJ. "We need your help! SBC is under attack?" "You mean my fansite?!" said SpongeBob. "I'll help, anything to help my fans!" So then they sat there for the next four hours, posting on SBC. Aya dry humped OMJ multiple times as Smiles and Cha looked on longingly. Clappy finally said, "ENOUGH!" The six of them left the Pubeapple and headed to The Kocky Krab, where more SBC users had gathered angrily. "YOU STOLE ME SITE!" screamed terminoob-vinci in a Mr. Krabs-esque accent. "ME NO SPEAK ENGLISH ON ENGLISH SPEAKING SITE!" screamed SOF. "I AM CANADIAN!" screamed Womb-o in a Canadian accent, "eh!" (see, it's a Canadian accent ) "We demand better spin-offs/lits!" hollered Metal Snake. "I mean, this is pretty much SBC's own civil rights movement! That's how important it its!" "I agree!" said Nuggets who is black. "I also agree!" said JCM who is black. "I agree thirdly!" said teenj12 who is also apparently black? "Okay, everyone!" said 70s, who had suddenly appeared again out of nowhere. "I have reached a conclusion, as I am again Main Admin of the site! My first order of business is to ban everyone from the site that I dislike!" And suddenly 5 people were left on SBC. The End 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aya♥ Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 My vagina is sore 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 Funny, but I'm not demanding for there to be better spin-offs. I just found it to be something to joke about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Sejima Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Cowboy Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumbo Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 Who is Womb-o. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spongeo Posted July 27, 2013 Share Posted July 27, 2013 What did I just read !? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Posted July 30, 2013 Author Share Posted July 30, 2013 Episode 4: Hot Sauce SpongeBob was strolling down the nude beach (aka Gay Lagoon) one day when all of a sudden, Sauce Mama came out of the Gay Lagoon, shaking the water off her sexy hair. SpongeBob was so smitten by Sauce Mama that he took this picture of her: Spoiler SpongeBob approached Sauce Mama, looking very sexual. "Well hello there, Sauce Mama," said SpongeBob, raising a brow. "Eww," said Smiles. "What are you?" "I'm SpongeBob... do you want some of my SpongeDick?" said SpongeBob. "wat," said Smiles. "You are disgusting. I am in a relationship with Jesus!" "Oh jeez," said SpongeBob. "Don't tell me you're one of those Protestant assholes? Ugh, nevermind, I'm not hitting on you." SpongeBob turned and left, when all of a sudden, a reporter was there. How could SpongeBob tell it was a reporter? Well, for the sake of the story, he was somehow able to identity people's occupations just by looking at their faces. For example, when Zimmerman strolled by on the beach, SpongeBob could instantly identify him as a high-ranking police official (SpongeBob is a racist, btw). "Hello, SpongeBob," the reporter said. "May I interview you for The Hard Truth?" SpongeBob agreed and they went back to the Krusty Krab, where they had a very 60 Minutes-esque interview. They talked about stuff from sex to tattoos, where SpongeBob mentioned he wanted to get a Chris Brown tattoo across his left cheek. Finally, the reporter got up and left, at which point, Mr. Krabs burst from his office, entirely naked. "WHO WAS THAT, BOY!?" screamed Mr. Krabs. "Him? Oh, that was Dragiiin, from the Hard Truth," said SpongeBob. "He wanted to interview me about The Kocky Krab and about my life." "That wasn't Dragiiin, me boy!" said Mr. Krabs dramatically. "That was me archnemesis, Plankton!" There was a pause. "No, that was Dragiiin," said SpongeBob. He shook his head as he walked away. "Dumbass old person." SpongeBob went and met up with terminoob, another old person, where they bitched about stuff. As they were talking, however, terminoob suddenly became enraged and grew into a giant Japanese rage monster. SpongeBob instantly called the Fantastic Five, the Dream Team, and the 70s Allegiance to come and defeat the monster! "Okay, we're here!" OMJ announced. "Hold... hold on," E.V.I.L. said, barely making it up the stairs. "Good Jesus, how did you all get here so fast? I think I have diabetes. Good God." "I can destroy anything!" said Black Jesus. "I can also kill anything!" said Zimmerman. As all of our heroes from the past 3 episodes of Hot & Sexy aligned, climactic music begins to play, pumping everybody up for the big fight against terminoob! To Be Continued... In A Part-2 episode... Written by OMJ... loljk he doesn't finish anything... Okay, To Be Continued... 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sauce Mama Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 Gawd I laughed so hard. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragiiin123 Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 i'm glad to be getting the scoop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Cowboy Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 Dafuk I just read? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClassicNickelodeon Fan 1 Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 Dafuk I just read? Literature Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E.V.I.L. Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 I hope I got that diabetes from Nutella Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumbo Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Posted August 4, 2013 Author Share Posted August 4, 2013 Episode 5: Sexy Storm The groups defeated terminoob very easily and returned to their normal lives, having rescued The Kocky Krab from obliteration. SpongeBob was back at work one day when he heard a commotion outside. StormAllenBryat had entered The Kocky Krab. Aya and OMJ instantly stopped having weird ass online sex and stared in horror. There was a dramatic silence as Storm surveyed the Kocky Krab. "May I help you?" SpongeBob said, breaking the dramatic pause. Storm opened his mouth to speak. "yes i would like to make appointment." "This is a sex shop," said Aya. "you idiot," said Storm. "Why is she an idiot?" said Zimmerman. "because this is krusty krab she says its sex shop like a huge idiot!" said Storm. "Then don't fucking come in here," said Ex. "Bitch kill yourself," said Storm. "Well, that escalated quickly ," said Clappy. Storm was escorted by Squidward to the backroom while being told multiple times to suck Storm's dick and that his nose looked like a penis. Once in the backroom, he was greeted by Sauce. "Hello," said Sauce. "I am the Kocky Krab's therapist. I'm here to---" "SUCK MY DICK BITCH," said Storm menacingly. Sauce was so utterly horrified by the ten year old's terrifying demeanor that she screamed and ran from the room. Storm came out from the room. "LIKE MY SELFIE OR YOUR ALL DUMB," said Storm. All hell broke loose in the Kocky Krab. Storm ran around, angrily shouting that SBC will pay! The following day, The Hard Truth came out with these headlines: At the revelation that StormAllen was indeed black, Black Jesus immediately went to the dark side. "But why, Black Jesus!?" Elastic proclaimed. "First SBC is going to be destroyed on my birthday by this 10-year computer prodigy, and now my most racially diverse religious god is going to the bad guy's side!" "SUCK MY DICK I HATE YOU," screamed StormAllen. Black Jesus then took StormAllen to the back of the Kocky Krab for naptime, where StormAllen fell asleep with some warm tit milk and Teletubbies. An hour later, StormAllen returned to destroy the Kocky Krab. "im doin construction," said StormAllen and got a hammer and put it to the wall, where it made a giant hole. "what!" "What the hell did you think was going to happen when you hit the wall with a hammer?" said Black Jesus, facepalming. "ok so you know that hammer well i thot it would make construction happen but it dosent." "EVERYONE, EVERYONE!" said Mr. Krabs suddenly. "MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION!" "YOU MAY HAVE MY FIST IN YOUR FACE!" said Black Jesus. There was a pause. "Sorry, go on," said Black Jesus. "I've discovered a way to get rid of StormAllen!" he proclaimed. "However, it will require the efforts of ExKizuna, Elastic, and that one other ten year old, where is he?" "IM HERE SIR," said SOF. The three formed together. Ex and Elastic lured StormAllen out of the Kocky Krab where SOF waited. "sof," said StormAllen. "ive been awaiting you." "stormallen," said SOF. "i dont know whats going on." And then this happened (SOF is the one that's missing a sock): SOF and StormAllen then destroyed each other by confusing the hell out of each other. Everyone cheered. They surrounded around the large fire that was SOF and StormAllen. "Apart from hitting him with my car, I was so nice to SOF," said Aya. "And now he's dead." "I loved SOF," said Sauce. "This fire is still not as hot as me," said tvguy. "Mission accomplished," said President Nuggets. "My family died in a fire," said Ex. The End SUCK MY DICK BITCH 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aya♥ Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 "StormAllen is Black!" Don't think I have ever read something that made me laugh so much 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 sums up my thoughts. Seriously, that had me laughing harder than the other four episodes combined. Needed more retweeting pointless shit though. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aya♥ Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 sums up my thoughts. Seriously, that had me laughing harder than the other four episodes combined. Needed more retweeting pointless shit though. @wwe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMM Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 Wow haven't laughed that hard in a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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