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SBC Honest Trailers


Metal Snake

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It is time...

Episode 1: Rusty’s Raping Rampage

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the creator who brought you Occult Sponge and Jackfish, and the creator who brought you Scooter’s Paradise and The Adventures of Gary the Snail, comes a series straight out of the imagination of two middle-schoolers. Experience the wonder of Rusty’s Raping Rampage, the SBC show that’s perfect for everyone, because it rapes and murders everyone on SBC. Join the adventures of Rusty and his crew members, LAT, Sassy56, BobRoast, John Doe, LobsterM, and Dale, as they commandeer a train that can somehow traverse the cyberspace of a forum website inspired by a children’s show, searching for passengers to brutally rape and murder. Laugh as you witness the whimsical wonder of four profligates with no personality do evil unto that guy who said something on the internet that rubbed you the wrong way, and then groan as you witness your own character suffer the same treatment. Unless you’re a sadomasochist, like everybody else who reads it.

 

Yes, Rusty’s Raping Rampage has (somehow) received positive reviews. Don’t take my word for it, take its wikia page’s word. Going on for seven seasons, it’s one of the longest running and most popular shows on SBC, most likely because of its humorous and witty satire that shines in episodes shorter than the attention span it takes to read them, creative plots willing to break out of the shows own blueprint formula, and characters with actual backstories that give them no actual character development whatsoever. But it’s fine if you don’t enjoy the original characters, because every so often, a character based on an SBC member joins the crew, only to be given forgettable dialogue, then forgotten about, then killed off several episodes later because the creators can’t be bothered to write SBC member characters whom they can’t make into the next SOF.

 

But that’s fine too, because the creators themselves are aware of the show’s problems, which is why they like to riff the episodes they’ve written, as well as episodes they’ve written just to be riffed. They also knew to end the show before it went on for too long, which is why they ended it in Season 5 due to its declining popularity and them running out of ideas, and then again in Season 7 due to its declining popularity and them running out of ideas. Good on them for standing up to the man, right?

 

STARRING

 

Sir Topham Hatt as Rusty

 

A meth addict as LAT

 

Sassy Cat as Sassy56

 

Bob Newhart as BobRoast

 

Jane Doe as John Doe

 

One of the dancing lobsters as LobsterM

 

A mental patient who thinks he’s Hank Hill’s beer buddy as Dale

 

IN

 

Rusty’s Raping Rampage

Hope you guys liked this, the show I plan to do next is...

Spoiler

SBCinema

After that, I'm free to do to requests for a short while. Like this one for example...

6 hours ago, Kitty_Zaid said:

can you do one of me, i don't mind if you Reference Full SBC or something.

Wow, I guess I gotta do Full SBC as soon as possible now, right?

Edited by Metal Snake
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27 minutes ago, Clappy said:

So you are going to do a honest trailer on a show that I've openly admit to be so easy to write that a caveman can do it?  Can't wait. :laugh:

 

 

I am totally putting that in the trailer now.

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Episode 2: SBCinema

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

Many users enjoy movies, such as The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Pirates of the Caribbean, whatever you enjoyed as a child that is no longer relevant now, whatever sequel, remake, or reboot of what you enjoyed as a child that is no longer relevant that people complain about yet go to see anyway. And now, you can experience the magic of movies a whole new way, as Clapmaster, SBC’s unofficial movie critic who also critiques everything you don’t like on the radio, television, and spin-off/lit threads...

 

writes summaries about them.

 

...

 

Summaries starring YOU!

 

That’s right, why watch movies when you can pretend to be a fictional movie star in recaps of them written online? Join Clappy as he writes you as a movie character that accurately represents your personality, like a villain if you’re a troll, an Asian guy if you’re Asian, and an old man if your username says you’re one. What’s that? You don’t read it to see the characterizations of you in action? You just read it to see a movie get summarized, even if it’s one you’ve never seen before? That’s alright, everyone agrees that it’s just fun reading how the recaps parody the movie, especially when you don’t understand what the fuck is going on as you skim through it, as even Clappy himself says that if you haven’t seen the movie, you won’t understand the episode. Even though he also says that it’s so easy to write an episode of the show that even a caveman can do it.

 

What’s that again? You don’t care if you don’t understand it? That’s alright too, as you can just enjoy the comedy that the recaps are rich with, with jokes that you don’t need to be an SBC user to get, jokes that you do need to be an SBC user to get, and jokes that you need to be active on the Xat, chatbox, and whatever other SBC-related hot spots you can find free time to frequent in order to be in on the circle-meme jokes they make there.

 

Wait...is this show an unintended promotion for movies...and the site too?

 

STARRING

 

JCM as the guy who makes Batman sound like he has throat cancer

 

Aquatic Nuggets as the black guy who doesn’t die

 

Elastic and ExKizuna as The Nutty Professor

 

OMJ as a seven-year-old girl

 

Clapmaster as The Summarizing Critic

 

IN

 

SBCinema

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Episode 3: Sponge’s Atlantis

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the creator who brought you that other spin-off that was surprisingly okay and had a comprehensible plot but you can’t remember the name of, comes a smile(y)-filled adventure that is sure to leave you more assured than ever that what the critics are saying is as true as who the critics are saying they are. Dive into Bubby00000’s notorious masterpiece of shit, a harmless two-sentence long trollfic with an incomprehensible plot that sounds like it was written by a six-year-old, even though a full-grown adult would have the same amount of trouble writing a compelling story about Spongebob and his friends going to Atlantis in only two sentences. No exaggeration. After all, a whole team of full-grown adults had trouble writing a compelling story about Spongebob and his friends going to Atlantis in a forty-five minute special.

 

Experience the lulzy horrors of Bubby using smileys as his words, two smileys that only give a visual representation of what’s on a sign and on a TV. Then go on to read an episode not even written by him, as an admin sets a wonderful example for the community by editing his post with sarcastic remarks. It’s plain for all to see that this spin-off is a disgrace to the community, a uniquely bad disaster than can not be recreated, despite being recreated multiple times throughout shows in SBC history that actually received praise. Examples including, Eelz, The Mud Man, Patrick in the Future, every one-liner spin-off written in 2013 (the worst being You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown, what was wrong with It’s the Super Bowl, Charlie Brown?), and the winner of SBC’s scary short story contest of 2012, a story that was literally just a Spongebob quote.

 

And if you can’t get enough of Bubby’s version of Sponge’s Atlantis, check out the reboot made by ClassicNickelodeonFan, a show that’s way worse than you remember it as you wade through “episode” after “episode” of CNF trying too hard to be funny and distract yourself from reading his shows that are actually good. After all, isn’t that the fun of reading trollfics?

 

STARRING

 

Bubby the Whale as Bubby’s number in the system

 

Channel Awesome reviewer tryouts as Bob_Ball, Wumbology, and jjsthekid

 

Michael Bay as CNF

 

IN

 

Sponge’s Atlantis

Next trailer comes Monday. I'll be doing...

Spoiler

Total Cartoon Island

 

Edited by Metal Snake
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NOTE: SBC Honest Trailers is not a serious review or analysis show. It is an exaggerated parody meant for laughs. What you are about to read is a joke.

Episode 4: Total Cartoon Island

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the guy who wants to be like the same team that brought you Total Drama Island, the same people who created all the classic Nick shows you grew up with, and the same people who butchered Akira Toriyama’s most beloved work, comes a show that manages to give you everything in one package, because it rips off everything in one package. Hop on board the global cruise plane that is 4EverGreen’s long running classic, Total Cartoon Island.

 

A family-friendly parody of the long-running Teletoon/Cartoon Network show, Total Cartoon Island manages to stay faithful to its source material by throwing characters from Nickelodeon shows into the mix and copying Total Drama Island plotlines word for word. But the heavy borrowing from said show is forgivable, as 4EverGreen throws his own original material in it too, such as ripping off plots from Nickelodeon shows, ripping off Dragon Ball, ripping off Five Nights at Freddy’s, shipping, and ripping off...Glee?! What the f- Just….musical numbers?! Wha-?! The fuck?!

 

And if you can get past all that, good. Because you’ve only gotten past the beginning. In order to thoroughly enjoy the show, you’ll also have to get past reading dreadfully disorganized paragraphs with every line of character dialogue in each scene lumped together, character dialogue paraphrased from character dialogue from Total Drama Island and given to characters who would never say it, and of course, the cherry on top, 4EverGreen’s reaction to criticism, going as far to turn his critics into villains creating an interdimensional crisis, and then not do that in response to criticism.

 

 

Yeah...please let me know if and when he finds out about this and tries to make me into an intergalactic space alien tyrant...if he doesn’t tell me himself.

 

STARRING

 

Dynomutt as Captain Retro

 

Gary Oak as the Rival

 

The cast of Star Trek as the users on SBC

 

IN


Total Cartoon Island

Next time, I'll be doing a show recommended to me by jjsthekid...

Spoiler

SBC Falls

 

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Episode 5: SBC Falls

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the same guy who wrote for SBCinema, comes a show that does the one thing better than summarizing movies starring you...writing full episodes based on episodes of a children’s TV show starring a group of select SBC members and a guy from Spongebuddy Mania. Talk about an upgrade, right? But this isn’t just any children’s show we’re copying off, this is Gravity Falls, Alex Hirsch’s smash-hit show that’s taken Disney Channel by storm, with people everywhere praising its intelligently written and innovative story, while giving criticism to its intelligently written and innovative episodes that don’t contribute to the story.

 

Witness jjsthekid’s retelling of the show SBC style, as different dialogue is given to the characters, different jokes are made, and summaries detailing the same things that happen in the show in place of dialogue and jokes are made. Entertain yourself with unique in-dialogue humor such as Cha referencing Kappa Mikey, CNF obsessing over Sailor Moon, ssj quoting Family Guy, and who can forget, SOF making his trademark typos. And if that’s not enough for you, entertain yourself with generic visual humor such as smileys and Photoshopped images. And if you’re still not satisfied, you can read an occasional witty riff written in parentheses.

 

Wait...smileys...images...parentheses...

 

 

OH GOD NO

 

So what are you waiting for? Free time to binge-watch Gravity Falls so that your enjoyment of the show will be enhanced? As if! Instead, find free time to binge-read the show so that you can spoil all the plot twists for yourself and ruin your enjoyment of Gravity Falls. Because watching TV is for yellow-bellies and internet nerds.

 

STARRING

 

E.V.I.L. as Cha

 

A Popeye cosplayer whose butt you can see as his pants sag as CNF

 

Stan Smith as ssj

 

Owen as SOF

 

IN


SBC Falls  

Next time, I'll be doing the one Zaid's you've all been waiting for...

Spoiler

Full SBC

 

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Episode 6: Full SBC

Gags by: ZaidCatDog & Metal Snake

Script by: Metal Snake

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the person who is still noticed as a “New Writer” for a show he wrote last summer that he requested to be thrown in Davy Jones’ Locker after it was universally reviled, comes a literature that will have you asking...what did happen to the “dignivility”?

 

S-seriously, six months later, and we’re still stuck on that. What the hell does that mean? Living a life of dignity? Is it a misspelling of “Dignivirility”? Being proud of your manhood?

 

It’s Full SBC, ZaidCatDog’s SBC parody of Full House that has nothing to do with Full House as it stars him as a Call of Duty squeaker who receives a call from his delusional friend, played by Cha, telling him to take time out of his free time-filled day to go to a fictional cartoon character’s contest. But along the way, Zaid gets stuck in traffic, and when he arrives, he finds out he missed it because it never existed he didn’t show up on time.

 

That’s the whole story spanning over two episodes, but don’t let short length alone drive you away because there’s plenty of great comedy in between too, such as Zaid forgetting about the concert, the classic gag of it raining after he fails to make it on time, Zaid driving home at the end, and fanmade Sailor Moon songs.

 

Yeah...screw what everyone else says, this show is hilarious...ly unfunny.

 

STARRING

 

“Where’s my Red Bull, Mom?!” as ZaidCatDog

 

The Guy Who Stalks You in Your Sleep as Cha

 

Anime Killed the Radio Star as CNF

 

IN


Full SBC

Next time, I'll be doing...

Spoiler

Skodwarde

 

Edited by Metal Snake
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Episode 7: Skodwarde

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the same creator who brought you the story that tried to turn Mr. Krabs into a psychotic serial killer and the same story that tried to ship Hayden and Katniss as Hey Arnold! characters, comes the most original show to ever shamelessly copy Spongebob Squarepants. Brace yourself for Old Man Jenkins’ most popular show that is still running today, because his huge team of guest writers just can’t let it die.

 

Like you may have guessed from the title, Skodwarde follows the story of a textbook Gary Stu, Squidward’s skinhead cousin who is also a god, a god who can do things so great, so powerful, and so convenient to whatever plot ripped off from Spongebob he’s in that he’ll make those power fantasy stories you wrote when you were thirteen look realistic. And the poorly written self-inserts in those stories? Ha! Lovable, well-rounded, three-dimensional wusses.  

 

But this show isn’t all about story and characters, it’s the humor that makes it good, not the animation on Skodwarde’s nose. Skodwarde is essentially the adult version of Spongebob, the show many people on SBC lost interest in when they were ten, filling what you loved as a kid with foul language! Violence! Sex! Drugs! Nazis! It’s like geez, just throw in some pop culture references, celebrity humor, and dick jokes while you’re at it.

 

Wait...it has all those things in it too?! What, is this the SBC version of Family Guy?

 

But all that aside, Skodwarde is genuinely hilarious fun for the whole family. It’s charming, witty, and creative immature high school boy humor at its best.   

 

STARRING

 

Max Gilardi’s OC as Skodwarde

 

Corporate America as Mr. Krabs

 

Nothing Disgusting Ever Happens to a Sponge as Spongebob

 

IN

 

Skodwarde

Next time I'll be doing...

Spoiler

Bikini Top, Down Under, and SBC Parallel Universe in that order.

Why did I just spoil the next three spin-offs? I guess I may as well tell you why. After the trailers for those three shows air, there will only be two shows left this season that I've planned to do. Since this first season will be fifteen episodes long, that leaves three open slots for suggestions. Stake your claims, hombres. Thank you.

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Episode 8: Bikini Top

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the creator who brought you a heart-wrenching drama story about his fictional life, comes a show that was at one point SBC’s #1 spin-off for anything but quality. Dive under the sea to see that70sguy’s most well-known spin-off of Spongebob, a show that could more than easily take place on land, Bikini Top.

 

Bikini Top stars Bryan, an unlikable asshole teenager who goes on adventures with his unlikable asshole teenage friends in Bikini Top, the eponymous town where anything can happen, so long as it involves cliche high school drama, long scenes of bland dialogue that do nothing to advance the plot, and ripping off an assortment of both musical and vampire-related entertainment. Musical entertainment meaning copied and pasted song lyrics “sung” throughout stories that make no sense, and vampire-related entertainment meaning “Not Princess Sparklez” and her Twilight character wannabe friends dicking around for two seasons as they plot a villainous scheme that makes no sense.

 

Sound like your kind of show? No? That’s fine, seeing as how this isn’t 2011 and 70s isn’t forcing you to read it and pretend you like it, unlike back then. You can always read Face’s superior Zombie Edition, as well as Wumbology’s superior edition starring Braindead. Yeah...you know there’s a problem with your show when zombies and Braindead did the plot of it more intelligently.

 

STARRING

 

Bryan Adams as Bryan

 

Jake the Dog as Jake

 

Naomi Hunter as Naomi

 

Seth MacFarlane as Seth

 

Meg Griffin as Temperance

 

IN

 

Bikini Top

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