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Metal Snake

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Episode 21: Z-Storm

Gags by: SpongeOddFan & Metal Snake

Script by: Metal Snake

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the creator who brought you the popular SBC lit, Underwater Survivor: SBC Style, comes Underwater Survivor: NOT SBC Style. Get ready to storm Z-Storm, one of Steel’s personal embarrassments that he lacked motivation to continue, because keeping a storm going for so long is tiring, as well as harmful to the environment.

 

Explore the adventures of Strezz, Bruce, and Monique, a generic trio of friends who get stranded on Shellside Shores, a generic deserted island that fails to fascinate anyone due to its generic rain showers, and discover a unique jacket washed up on the shore that makes the wielder of it into the possession of Z-Storm’s powers when it rains badly.

 

I’m serious...that last description is a direct quote from the show.

 

But have belief, because after two and a half episodes worth of exposition, we finally get to the first true fight of the spin-off, where just one of our heroes faces off against an evil weather manipulator named Seymour, who does somewhat of a matrix style back flip as Strezz tries to attack him by pressing random controls. Yeah...it kind of gives you a bad impression of an action show when the first major fight scene in it makes you think of amateur fighting gamers trying to play Street Fighter for the first time.

 

That is only the pilot however, and since then, the show has been given much time to improve. After being revived following a two-year hiatus, then revived again after a one-year hiatus, and then being abruptly canceled after a year-and-a-half hiatus, you can see that there’s definitely a quality standard now.  

 

STARRING…

 

Weathering Heights as Strezz

 

Wizards and Weathermen as Bruce

 

Pacifica Northwest as Monique

 

Seymour Skinner as Seymour

 

IN

 

Z-Storm

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Episode 22: My Life Story

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the member who proposed waging war on SBM and provoked us to delve more deeply into the study of wumbo, comes a heartwrenching war story that will provoke you into delving more deeply into the study of BenPaz’s mind. It’s My Life Story, a literature that has revolutionized the world of spin-offs and literature by making it the only other place on SBC where people want to hear your life story.

 

Begin your adventure with two sentence-long episodes, as the story displays its wonderful creativity by starting out on a dark and stormy night, making an unnecessary time skip, referencing pop culture, and even making a meme joke. Things only get better as the story continues with lengthier entries that involve blatantly ripping off anime, blatantly ripping off Avatar: The Last Airbender, and best of all, SBM.

 

But it keeps (actually) getting better, as the blatant rip-offery begins evolving into parody, with actual dialogue and fight scenes being included into the story, both spoofing how fast-paced everything is in anime by being lumped together with no spacing between the action and the talking. And on the subject of humor, the comedy improves as well as we get more variety in the pop culture references that begin including Spongebob, Ghostbusters, and even Cats and Dogs, meme jokes getting replaced with SBM in-jokes, and political satire. If you look deeply, you realize that the Fire Nation represents Donald Trump.

 

Yeah, you have to at least give the show credit for being ambitious. After all, it has set the record for being the first show on SBC to be a parody of both anime and SBM. Anime and SBM. Isn’t that the story of our lives?

 

STARRING

 

Cookie Monster as CookiePaz

 

Jeff Goldblum as Jeff

 

King Sombra as Umbra/ssj     

 

IN

 

My Life Story

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Episode 23: Ten Minute Tales

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the creator who inserted himself into the world of Spongebob Squarepants and now rewrites Spongebob Squarepants as a terrible show, comes an anthology of stories taking place in all sorts of different worlds and could really use being rewritten. It’s Ten Minute Tales, CDCB’s latest writing collection where you never know what you’re going to get, even as he flat out tells you that it’s either going to be something really funny, really stupid, or just makes absolutely no sense.  

 

Hey, a 1-in-3 shot of getting something good. That ain’t bad, right?

 

Join CDCB as he challenges himself to write the best story he can in ten minutes, and makes the challenge of writing an essay in twenty-five minutes for the SAT look like a cakewalk as he weaves a tale of obscenity and nonsensical carnage in no more than 300 words. That’s right, they’re about the same length as an average SBC Honest Trailers episode. But while it takes CDCB ten minutes to churn this stuff out, it only takes me...about an hour. ...And ten minutes.

 

H-hey, there’s a reason this stuff takes time! I put a lot of creative thinking into each trailer and I have major OCD! I bet it would only take me twenty minutes to write these if I wasn’t lazy!

 

So if you got ten minutes to kill, why don’t you read Ten Minute Tales? You know what they say, time spent watching Winnie the Pooh get anal surgery, clowns pondering the meaning of life, and OMJ trying to put on a condom is time well spent.

 

STARRING

 

His Name is Winn-Dixie as Winnie the Pooh

 

Down Like a Clown, Charlie Brown as the clown

 

Look What I Found Under the Bed, Honey as Rubber Elastic Dog

 

IN

 

Ten Minute Tales

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Episode 24: The Marvelous Misadventures of Patback

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

From the member who starred as Freaky Fred on SBC and played the Shapeshifter in SBC Falls, comes a very naughty show that will reshape and shift the way you once looked at a freaky Cartoon Network show from your childhood. It’s The Marvelous Misadventures of Patback, the show where you get to make Patback’s trolling (not) succeed!

 

Being the SBC version of The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, the show obviously stars the main characters as themselves, with the exception of Whaleblubber, who stars as Bubby’s number in the system. Nah, I’m just kidding. I know he stars as his gay cousin, Whaleblubbie. Join them in their assholery as they go below and beyond the forums in their quest for having fun at people’s expense/internet world domination as they take on Anonymous, go to ____ Forums, and spy on Whaleblubber doing nothing besides looking through a gap.

 

Yes, just like with My Life Story’s political satire, if you look deeply, you realize there’s more to this story than meets the eye. It shows us through complex symbolism that anyone can out-troll Anonymous, go on any forum to cause trouble, but it all leads to the same result. Staring at another internet troll staring at the wide, empty gap in his soul, and eventually realizing that you’re staring into a mirror.    

 

Nah, just kidding. I know about the twist of Anonymous being the team who made Disney’s Planes, the forums being IGN’s forums (hence BlazeTheMainGamer), and that Whaleblubbie was just watching Jjs with his wife, Candy More SpongebobxSandy.

 

STARRING

 

A pancake (Patcake) as Patback

 

Captain Crunch as Bl4ze

 

Blubber Nuggets as Whaleblubbie

 

You as Popeye/the background characters in Popeye

 

IN


The Marvelous Misadventures of Patback

Oh, and yeah, I just realized that I've been forgetting to do that thing I used to do where I told people what the next trailer was in spoiler tags at the end of every episode. So I'll do that. The next trailer is going to be for...

Spoiler

Storm Racers

Yeah, I wanted to do something kinda big for the 25th episode.

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Episode 25: Storm Racers

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the creator who went from writing Patrick’s Mansion on TV.com to writing Final Fantasy: Mystic Guardians on SBC, comes a spin-off not based on Spongebob’s Boating Bash. It’s Storm Racers, the legendary spin-off that gave a TV show based off of Hot Wheels a new fire by taking it underwater. I know you’re thinking, “If we’re underwater, how can there be TV?”, to which I respond, “Exactly.” That’s the power of this show, making the impossible happen!

 

Come ride with Nathan and his friends, Nora, Dash, Laneld, Zelleo, Kane, and PJ, as they go on a quest as simple as their personalities after a blue alien chick gives each of them their own personal hot rod and sends them off to collect keys. Yeah, imagine getting a brand new car and then being told you had to find the keys to it.  

 

Well actually, she sends them to collect the Universe Keys, the keys to unlocking the secrets of the universe, obviously, and restoring her universe...which are scattered all over the universes. That’s right, there’s multiple universes in this show. Why stop at the infinite galaxy when you can have infinite universes? And why stop at the characters fighting aliens, robots, and even demon gods to save the world when you can stop this plotline altogether in favor of doing just that?

 

Believe it or not, that’s a serious question. Like Team Spongebob, Storm Racers had an interesting history of evolution. It didn’t start out very strong and took time to find its niche. After it found its niche of creating compelling action sequences and developing lovable characters over the seasons was when it really won the hearts of its fans. Because you know what they say, it’s a long way to go before the race is won. Which is funny, because Storm Racers is SBC’s shining example of a show that’s not about the goal, but the journey to the goal.   

 

...Even if that goal was bringing perfect order and balance to the entire universe. Yeah, it lost to a group of kids. What did I tell you about this show making the impossible happen?

 

STARRING

 

NathanJR94 as Nathan

 

Nora Roberts as Nora

 

Rainbow Dash as Dash

 

Jay from LEGO: Ninjago as Laneld

 

Zell Dincht as Zelleo

 

Abel as Kane

 

PJjsthekid as PJ

 

IN

 

Storm Racers

Edited by Metal Snake
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Apologies to JCM, I should've had this out yesterday.

 

Episode 26: SBC: Investigation & Prosecution


Teleplay by: JCM

Extra Gags & Revision by: Metal Snake

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the heavy metal python that brought you Modern SBC User, comes a show that somehow manages to be worse than Modern SBC User and has no appeal whatsoever to the actual average modern-day SBC user.

 

It's SBC: Investigation & Prosecution, a literature that doesn't have much investigation or prosecution! What it does have, however, is a half-baked detective story, a half-baked trial sequence, and of course, being the SBC version of Law and Order, it has demented brony fantasies! ...That are half-baked. Doesn’t sound like your kind of show? Well then, get fucked! Literally! Your favorite MLP-hater (or JCMLP-hater) can vouch that he had a pleasant time getting killed while having sex with a pony...brony...centaur...transvestite...centransvestite? What the fu-

 

One thing everyone seems to agree that this show does deserve praise for is its realism, with the show’s only actual crime that gets investigated being a death threat, the kind of crime your average 12-year-old MLG scoper gets away with on Youtube on a regular basis, being solved at a snail's pace! :madsnail:No kidding, the pilot alone takes up three episodes, thanks in part to many bad attempts to satirize SBC members in addition to an attempt to work in a story arc about a centaur summoning the embodiment of his confusion about his gender identity with alcohol!

 

The next two episodes that continued the story arc will unfortunately never be resolved because the show thankfully ended after that. Any fans of CloudMistDragon’s works can just feel the dark clouds enshrouding the light of hope that once shined so radiantly in Fluttershy’s Dark Sky.

 

But don't worry! The spin-off, SBC: Investigation & Prosecution: Special Pony Victims Unit, is only a bad studio executive away! And there’s a remake coming too! Some say this show could be worse, and you know what they say, why not remake what you can make worse?

 

STARRING

 

Ryan McCain, a loose cannon cop who doesn't play by the rules as jjsthekid

 

The Copmaster as Clappy

 

One Woman Should Have All That Power as Jelly

 

Luke Cage as Metal Snake

 

Judge Trudy as Elastic Dog

 

Don Corleone as terminoob

 

Cissy Boy as Rainbow Dash

 

Pinkie Pie and Derpy Hooves’ illegitimate child as Pinkie Hooves

 

IN

SBC: Investigation & Prosecution

Next trailer will be for...

Spoiler

Spongeboy! Get a Clue!

 

Edited by Metal Snake
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Episode 27: Spongeboy! Get a Clue!

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the creator who brought you Team Spongebob and Miss Appear, comes Spongeboy! Get a Clue!, a show about Spongebob while his character was still just a thought.

 

Yeah, Spongebob was originally called Spongeboy. This show is about a character’s life while he was still a concept. That’s the kind of thing that doesn’t appear often, even today.

 

And even if the idea of the show isn’t original enough for your liking, the execution of the idea definitely will be, because it’s a complete rip-off of Jjsthekid’s show, Undersea Mysteries: Incorporated, the kind of thing that also doesn’t appear often, even today. How ahead of its time this show was.

 

Needless to say, this show has definitely held up in terms of writing. Forget the lack of proofreading, dull stories and humor, and ridiculously short length of the episodes with mysteries that get solved faster than you can say, “Wait...Whodunit?”. Despite being a lighthearted show, this show took risk after risk with darker plots involving kids getting poisoned, shootings, murder, serial murder, and of course, teenj getting drunk on Schnapps. Though to be fair, everyone on SBC back in 2010 was drunk on Schnapps.

 

And last but not least, the highlight of this mystery show, when it was revived as an okay ghost story that had nothing to with solving mysteries. Though long over, this show will always be remembered best for being what it wasn’t intended to be.

 

STARRING

 

Clue This, Fucker as Spongeboy

 

I Give You Greetings From Apple World as Mrs. Applebottom

 

I Shot the Criminal, But I Didn’t Shoot the Deputy as the Mystery Vigilante

 

A Reindeer Got Run Over by Grandma as teenj’s Schnapps

 

IN

 

Spongeboy! Get a Clue!

 

Next trailer will be for...

Spoiler

Runaway Sponge

 

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Episode 28: Runaway Sponge

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the number one fan of Spongebob who ran away from SBC, comes a spin-off as lulzy as a typical post made by Spongebob’s #1 Fan. It’s Runaway Sponge, and like Runaway Train, the song by Soul Asylum, it’s never going to come back after ending with four episodes in spite of boasts from the creator about it being six seasons long, and it’s always been going the wrong way on a one-way track.

 

The show stars the titular Runaway Sponge, whom everyone (actually no one) knows, because of how well his character gets established in the pilot episode where he robs a bank and murders an innocent hostage just because he’s evil and evil people do that. He’s joined by his equally memorable sidekick, Patrick, who’s remembered best for his wimpy and dumb personality. Why? Because Spongebobs1fan reminds you that he’s wimpy and dumb every three sentences.

 

“Okay, we get it Spongebobs1fan!”, you’ll find yourself saying. “We know strong characters can be smart too!”

 

However, the character remembered most fondly is no doubt, Austin Layers. How can you go wrong with the illegitimate lovechild of Austin Powers and Shrek?

 

Plotwise, I think we can all agree that the most memorable thing about this forgettable show is the unnecessary time skip it makes midway in its four episode run. Just the fact that the show’s star villain was defeated two episodes in and then apparently killed another two episodes in is proof enough that this show lived up to its title of “Runaway”. It was trying to run away from itself. And don’t even get me started on the animated series that never happened.  

 

STARRING

 

Brave Sir Robin as Spongebobs1fan

 

Spongey’s Got a Gun as the Runaway Sponge

 

Stupid is as Wimpy Does as Patrick

 

Characters (Should) Have Layers as Austin Layers

 

IN

 

Runaway Sponge

Next trailer will be for...

Spoiler

Jjs' Riffing Theater 3000

 

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Episode 29: Jjs’ Riffing Theater 3000

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the creator who riffed his own creation, SBC Parallel Universe, and then asked me to riff the show where he riffed his own creation, comes a series where you can create your own riffs as commentary on the creations of other SBC members, including your own! It’s Jjs’ Riffing Theater 3000, the show that took the SBC version of Mystery Science Theater 3000 that was supposedly a rip-off of the SBM version of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and turned it into the blockbuster event coming to a theater near you! Because who would want to miss out on watching a riffing theater in the theaters?

 

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, and don’t worry. We’re not going with that joke that’s been old since its inception. How many times have we heard it now? Over 3000? Actually, since I said the number 3000 three times in the intro, I think the more appropriate number for the joke would be 9000...wait…

 

Again, I know what you’re thinking, isn’t that all there is to say? The show is about SBC members riffing each others’ works, what material is there for jokes about this? Boo. This is lame. You’ve sold out, unsubbed, 0/10 not enough pizza squidwards.

 

Now hold on. Before you send me home crying in my pit of better trailers over this not being one of my better trailers, think about it this way. You can take a lesson from my lackluster riffing to better your own! Just like the other commentators in Riffing Theater, I make mistakes too. But when done well, riffing can be funny and the equivalent of constructive criticism. Not every joke we do works, but as we learn what works and what doesn’t and improve, we improve at helping others improve.

 

For example, I’m sure that the criticism I’ll get for this trailer being too self-aware to the point of breaking the fourth wall entirely will help me realize a MST3K-style show that riffed another MST3K-style show that got too self-aware to the point of breaking the fourth wall entirely probably wasn’t the best choice of show to trailer. And also, that I shouldn’t be self-aware to the point where I’m self-aware that being self-aware about being self-aware isn’t very funny- HELP ME

 

STARRING

 

Dazed and Confused as Elastic and Mothra

 

Jay Prescott Sherman as Clappy

 

Mike Myers as Wumbo

 

I’m Disappointed This Theater Had to Be Made as Jjsthekid

 

IN

 

Jjs’ Riffing Theater 3000

The last trailer of Season 2 will be for...

Spoiler

Fluttershy's Dark Sky

 

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Episode 30: Fluttershy’s Dark Sky

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the creator who brought you The Journey of Sebastion and an SBC police story about ponies where JCM gets raped by a centaur, comes SBC’s first My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfic, which is actually the SBC port of a fanfiction.net story that will take you on a journey involving Rarity getting tortured by a pony who wears sweatpants and rapes Discord’s rock hard body like the bank would.  

 

“What’s wrong this time, Rarity?” Fluttershy asked as she had finished using her pen to fill out Discord’s tax forms. - Fluttershy's Dark Sky

 

Actual excerpt from the show.

 

Like you may have already guessed, this story allows you to join in on the adventures of Rarity, as she acts far more snarky and obnoxious than she does in the show and spends several episodes just hanging around while she’s tied to the ceiling by a rope (Patrick: "Boo!") and listening to the insane ramblings of an insane Fluttershy, who's a somewhat deranged torturer in this story. Like you may have not already guessed, the story is a parody of Cupcakes, a fanfic that has not been parodied 500 times before. The correct number is 502. It was also originally intended to be a sibling story to My Mortal Phoenix since that story was also a parody of a fanfic that hasn’t been spoofed enough, but the three completely necessary sequels that followed had other ideas that were just too good to pass up, like having sex with food, teaching the ghosts of chimerae how to smoke pot, and turning people’s genitals into Neopets’ Jelly World.

 

“We’re all food Sky,” Twilight enlightened. “Thanks to downgrade fusion, anything can be eaten...and I want us to eat each other sexually...ALL NIGHT.” - Transcending Fluttershy’s Dark Sky

 

"Make ghosts as you giggle!

 

Just don’t teach them how to griggle!" - Lightening Fluttershy’s Dark Sky

 

“The serial killer was a twenty-year old woman named Myra Michaels. She cut off the penises of all the men and added them to her collection.”

 

“Long ago, a woman named Myra Michaels brought us an abundant source of her world's highest quality jelly, and with the help of Ninja Time God Rarity and Fantasy God Discord, they transformed it all into an extravagant amusement park!” - Awakening Fluttershy’s Dark Sky

 

All actual excerpts from the sequels.

 

But since we’re only talking about the original, seeing how it’s writing this trailer enough as it is, let’s move on with how the original has held up over four years. Having not come out at the best time in MLP history for SBC, which was the year the pony fad bubble had popped, we can see now at a weirdly better time in MLP history for SBC, where reception for the TV show has improved despite its declining viewership, that this show has aged like wine that ended up in Matt Engarde’s cellar after being mistaken for chocolate milk.

 

You know what I mean, everyone still loves those over-the-top similes that were phased out after the third story after people got tired of them. And everyone still loves all those pop culture reference jokes as much as they still love Family Guy. But most importantly, everyone still loves the story as much as they actually understand it.

 

Yeah, you know something’s wrong when the story’s highlight is introducing the series’ star side characters, the Dark Sky band...with a meme joke. And what about that ending? Did Cloudy actually think people were going to solve a puzzle just to see Fluttershy cry at a tombstone? This story is a puzzle of why Cloudy thought it was a good idea to try and parody Cupcakes by turning it into a supernatural comedy starring Beatlejuice’s rap artist cousin as Fluttershy.

 

STARRING

 

“Who’s that sexy lady? She looks like a man.” as Rarity

 

Marilyn Manson as Fluttershy

 

OMJ as Princess Celestia

 

Dead Weight as Dumb-bell

 

Michael Jordan River as Hoops

 

The Dead are Silent as Score

 

20% Ecto-Cooler as Ghost Rainbow Dash

 

2005 Called as Derpy Jenkins

 

Ghost Writer in the Sky as Princess Luna

 

IN


Fluttershy’s Dark Sky

That's a wrap. Season 3's looking to come in early 2017.

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Episode 31: Power Rangers: Multiverse Force

 

The following trailer is rated H for honest.

 

From the creator who brought you Cerebus the Aardvark and Primus the Traveling Pen Trio, it’s Power Rangers: Multiverse Force, the show that will force you to stop curling up in your shell and begin traveling across multiple universes in this Storm Rac-I mean Power Rangers-inspired lit!

 

Follow a group of five characters in a science fiction/fantasy setting of Renegade the Unicorn’s own creation, as he puts four copyrighted characters taken from established forms of media together with the most original OC of all, an anthropomorphic penguin (you know, those animals that people have never complained about being overused in Hollywood movies?) in the most original setting of all, high school...college. A high school college on an alien planet...that is almost exactly like ours-

 

Hey! Hey! Don’t play Judge Joe Brown, you know that fiction is very derivative! SOF, when he was being tried for plagiarism in the case of SBC’s Cornerstone Critics vs. SOF’s Exciting Critic Corner Finale, can vouch for that!

 

Once you’ve immersed yourself into the science fiction/fantasy setting of this action/adventure crossover show with anime characters and ponies in space, watch as they have the easiest time fighting off Imps, the distant cousins of internet trolls, commanded by Emperor Diabolica, the distant cousin of Lord Hater from Wander Over Yonder. And then, after you finish reading the series’ exciting pilot episode that gave it life, go on to read the attempts at keeping the series alive, brought to you by the creator who brought you shipping and Glee rip-offery, AKA Total Cartoon Island: Global Cruise.  

 

And wouldn’t you know, they’re actually really good attempts, discounting the OVERUSE of words written in all-caps. Surprising, huh? Who would’ve thought writing five characters would be easier than writing fifty? Not just that, but who would’ve thought getting sidetracked while writing “Cluck Fu!”, the CGI-animated kids movie parodying Jackie Chan films, would be so easy?

 

STARRING

 

Happy Feet as Lettuce

 

CNF as Usagi Tsukino

 

I Wasn’t That Bad in Seventh Grade as Naruto Uzumaki

 

Toby Turner as Toby Jones

 

My School Days Were My Party Days as Pinkie Pie

 

IN


Power Rangers: Multiverse Force

Next trailer is going to be for...

Spoiler

Miss Appear

 

Edited by Metal Snake
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