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  1. 8 points
    No sexists and incels allowed on SBC from this point forward!
  2. 7 points
    (Credit goes to Local for this logo) This is our August event winner, the idea of which crafted by @4EverGreen in the submission thread. As the title suggests, this is a noir mystery event. This enigmatic event will begin August 14th and conclude August 29th. Throughout, there will be a giant overarching mystery centered around our Whodunnit game, with a new spin to it. Every event and activity we hold will be semi-connected to the Whodunnit mystery. You will be able to win clues and hints from other events, pointing you in the right direction of this caper's culprit. Here's what to expect from the event: Whodunnit?: The main course of this event. Use your detective skills to figure out one of our most perplexing cases yet! A seemingly cheerful party at Goofy Goober's ends up going very south... Mystery with a Twistery: The second main course of this event, a roleplaying game directly connected to the Whodunnit and taking place in the aftermath. Participate in scavenger hunts, trivia questions and more; whoever wins in the end will get the ultimate clue directing them to the culprit. SpongeBob Pictionary: There will be two games on August 15th and 22nd that will count for this event! Put your detective skills to good use by deciphering mystery drawings! Arcade Tournaments: Grind out arcade high scores in JCM's new flash game additions and win yourself some clues! Cards Against Humanity: Solve the mystery of whose card is the funniest as CAH returns once more! iFish: 15 new detective themed items will be designed by Patty and Cha. You can also use these new items to submit your fish for an iFish costume contest! SBC Music Parties: Take a break from detective work and jam out on OWM's cytube every Friday night during the event! (Though, perhaps the mystery will continue here too...) Minigame - Magnifying Mystery: Use your magnifying glasses to analyze classified documents and you may earn some clues! To keep up the mystery theme though, there may be more surprises in store! You'll just have to look for them and be patient like any detective...
  3. 4 points
    iFish is back, though this time in a completely new flavor. Due to the discontinuation of our old system, iFish will be using a manually-made system in which you’ll have to specify how you want your iFIsh to look, in either this thread or on the Discord server. Thankfully it’s not all doom and gloom, as we’re pleased to announce a couple of new additions to the iFish to help make creating one just as fun as it was before. New Item Categories Two new item categories have been introduced, including Pins and Backgrounds. Pins, to put it simply, are a new version of collectables. In the past, collectables could be only shown on user’s profiles, but with the new pin system, you now have the option to equip any collectable on your iFish, similar to pins in Club Penguin. Backgrounds are, as the name suggests, backgrounds that you can equip as a background for your iFish. However, unlike the other iFish items which can only be obtained as pre-made items, backgrounds use whatever image you’d like to be used, ranging from your own custom-made backgrounds, or something gotten off google images, all completely free. Submission Guidelines To submit for an iFish, simply list the iFish body color, any items you want equipped on it, and either post it in this thread or in the Discord server. One of our hard-working Fry Cooks or Managers will soon produce it, and have it delivered to you as soon as possible. Please use the template below when posting a submission. Body Color: (required) Headwear: Face/Mask: Neck: Body/Top: Bottom/Pants: Feet/Shoes: Hand/Pet: Pin: Background: You can show off your iFish in your avatar, signature, profile, on Discord or in future events. Until one of us gets good enough at coding in the future, this will be the best possible solution to work with for the time being. Discontinued items To make room for the future, we’ve had to discontinue a selection of iFish items. These include: Gogeta Hair, Fisherman Coat 2015, Fisherman Hat 2016, Chocolate Clarinet, Chocolate Starfish, Chocolate Fruitcake, Chocolate Donkey, Chocolate Flower, Chocolate Karate Glove, Chocolate Snail, K^aa Hair, K^aa Shirt, K^aa Shorts, K^aa Tentacles, Drastical Vuvuzela, Band Geeks Vuvuzela, Band Geek Track Jersey, Band Geek Track Pants, Drastical Track Jersey, Drastical Track Pants, Grand Maul Granny’s Glasses 2016, Drastical Foam Finger, Band Geek Foam Finger, Johnny Krill Shirt 2016, Johnny Krill Pants 2016, Not Dead Ted’s Shirt 2016, Pumpkin Basket 2012, Frankenstein Costume 2012, Scientist Costume 2012 and Goofy Sombrero 2015. View your Archived Inventory For all our longtime members who had an entire library of iFish items but can’t recall what they had, don’t worry! Below is an archive link of active users’ inventories that were screencapped before the old system closed down. Please note that we’ve only archived the inventories of active users, so if your inventory is not provided, please let us know. https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1mHf3fIPhv3F3v1kG10WLh23Jh3r_jCAE?usp=sharing Have fun!
  4. 4 points
    https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/ren-stimpy-show-revived-at-comedy-central-1306011 there is no god
  5. 4 points
    Over a year later, and the theater reopens, now under new management! For those who did not see my announcement in the news thread, Clappy has kindly agreed to let me continue this for the foreseeable future. I'm also allowing anyone to guest write if anyone is interested to help me out, as long as you contact me. 84. Odds Out Film: Knives Out Wealthy fanfiction novelist jjsthekid invites his family to his SBC mansion for his 85th birthday party. The next morning, jjs's housekeeper Cha finds him dead, with his throat slit. The police believe it was suicide, but an anonymous party pays private investigator SOF to investigate. SOF learns that jjs's relationships with his family were strained: he threatened to expose his son-in-law Dracula for cheating on his wife, jjs's daughter Katie; cut off his daughter-in-law Cake’s allowance for stealing from him; fired his son JCM in a cameo from his publishing company; and had an altercation with his grandson Kev. Unbeknownst to jjs, after the party, jjs's nurse SG apparently administered him an overdose of morphine by accident instead of his usual medication and could not find the antidote, leaving jjs minutes to live. Knowing that SG's mother is an undocumented member, jjs prevented her from calling for help and instead gave her instructions to create a false alibi to save her family from scrutiny. Jjs then slit his own throat. Jjs’s elderly mother saw SG carrying out jjs's instructions but mistook her for Kev. SG cannot lie without vomiting, so she gives true but incomplete answers when SOF questions her. After agreeing to assist in SOF's investigation, SG conceals evidence of her actions as they search the property. Jjs's will is read: to everyone's astonishment, he left everything to SG. Kev helps her escape the family's wrath. Kev coerces SG into confessing to him and offers his help in exchange for a share of the inheritance. The other family members try to persuade SG to renounce the inheritance; Kev threatens to expose her mother's immigration status. SG receives an anonymous blackmail note with a partial photocopy of jjs’ toxicology report. She and Kev drive to the medical examiner's office, but the building has been destroyed by arson. SG receives an anonymous email proposing a rendezvous with the blackmailer. SOF and the police spot SG and Kev, and after a brief car chase, Kev is arrested; SOF explains that jjs's mother saw Kev climbing down from jjs's room the night he died. SG goes to the rendezvous and discovers Cha drugged. SG hesitates, realizing that Cha can link her to the crime, but performs CPR on Cha and calls 911. SG confesses to SOF, but Kev has already informed on her. At the house, SG finds a copy of the full toxicology report hidden in Cha's meme stash. SOF reads it and interrupts SG before she can confess to the family that her error caused jjs's death. SOF reveals his deductions: Kev had learned that jjs was leaving everything to SG; he swapped the contents of jjs's medication vials and stole the antidote so SG would kill jjs with a morphine overdose, making her ineligible to claim the inheritance by the slayer rule. However, SG actually administered the correct medication, recognizing it by its viscosity without reading the label, and therefore is innocent of jjs's death. After the death was reported a suicide, Kev anonymously hired SOF to expose SG as a murderer. Cha later saw Kev hiding evidence and sent him the blackmail note. Realizing that SG had unknowingly given jjs the correct medication but believed herself guilty, Kev forwarded the note to SG. He burned down the medical examiner's office to destroy evidence of SG's innocence. Finally, he overdosed Cha with morphine and emailed her location to SG, planning to frame SG for Cha's murder. SG tricks Kev into confessing by lying that Cha has survived and will implicate him; after he confesses and vows revenge, she vomits on him, revealing that Cha has in fact died. Enraged, he attacks her with what turns out to be a retractable stage knife. Having recorded Kev's confession, the police arrest him. SOF reveals to SG that he realized early on that she played a part in jjs's death, noting a small spot of blood on one of her shoes. Katie finds a note from jjs revealing her husband's adultery. As Kev is taken into custody, SG watches the family from the balcony of what is now her mansion.
  6. 4 points
    The end is nigh. We have finally reached, after nearly seven years, the final one of these lists! Unless I decide to make one for 2020. Anything's possible for this year. But yes, as far as my retro-retrospectives go, this is it. 1968! After this, we are done. …So what do we do now? I don’t think 1968 was particularly great or bad. There are certainly great and bad songs, and we'll get to 'em, but the year as a whole kind of falls into the middle of all the years I've covered thus far. So that's what we're ending on. Yippee. All right, let's start off with… Wumbo's Bottom 10 Hits of 1968
  7. 4 points
    Yes, for the first time ever in SBC event history...WE HAVE A TIE! The Krusty Krew and Chum Buddies tied 9-9, concluding the Super Spongy Square Games 2020. I was going to do a tiebreaker but in the end I decided to just leave this surprising record as is. Enjoy the kindness while it lasts, because there probably won't be another tie like this anytime soon. Because of how smaller this event was (and Fred/Dman accounted for 90% of the Buddies and Krew wins respectively ), I'm going to do the stats differently this time and focus on how many medals each user accumulated from their event rankings. Gold Medals: dman (Krusty Krew) - 9 Fred (Chum Buddies) - 8 Darkness (Chum Buddies) - 1 Trophy (Solo) - 1 Steel (Solo) - 1 OWM (Solo) - 1 SOF (Solo) - 1 4Ever (Solo) - 1 Silver Medals: Hayden (Solo*) - 6 Dman (Krusty Krew) - 5 Jjs - 3 Fred (Chum Buddies) - 2 Mythix (Chum Buddies) - 1 JCM (Solo) - 1 SpongeKid (Solo) - 1 Bronze Medals: Mythix (Chum Buddies) - 5 Hayden (Solo*) - 4 dman (Krusty Krew) - 3 Jjs - 3 Steel (Solo) - 1 Sbl (Krusty Krew) - 1 Ding (Solo) - 1 Total Medals: dman: 17 Fred: 10 Hayden: 10 Jjs: 6 Mythix: 6 Steel: 2 JCM: 1 Darkness: 1 Trophy: 1 Ding: 1 4Ever: 1 SpongeKid: 1 Sbl: 1 (* means this user changed teams after the event) (And yes, your iFish medals and doubloon prizes will all be rewarded soon. Sorry for the delay in those, but the new doubloons system is installed and being worked on by Patty and I, we didn't want to rush it!) Thanks to all who played in this event. See you this fall for the next Major League Event, Octerror Fest 2020! (where hopefully we'll get to do an actual team trade for once...or not) And assuming the Earth isn't vaporized by then, the Super Spongy Square Games will presumably return in summer 2024!
  8. 4 points
  9. 3 points
    First thoughts 7 episodes into FIM: "How the hell did I avoid watching this for so long? I love it!"
  10. 3 points
    What's this? Jjs is posting here again? I am pleased to make a surprise announcement. Clappy has given me the rights to continue SBCinema! That's right, the theater is reopening! I'll be reviving it this week with a parody of Knives Out. I'll continue Season 5, along with announcing the renewal of a Season 6, which may or may not be its final season depending how this goes. If anyone is interested in guest writing for the rest of Season 5, let me know and I'll reserve your spots. I know I've said before I was done with literatures (lmao I know) but given its past influence I felt SBCinema deserved to live again (plus it's easier to write anyway). As for Pirate Legends, if you've been wondering what's in store for that on the ocean horizon, well wonder no longer: Season 2 will come this October!
  11. 2 points
    Sorry for not updating this in a super long time, but I've added 25 new games, with more to come over the next few days. You can find them at the top of the Games page under "New Additions". With just under five months of Flash support left, there's not a lot of time left to play your favorite games, so if there's any I've missed, please let me know!
  12. 2 points
    I'm now at the level of boredom where I'm legit considering MLP FIM a watch for the first time. Yeah. Why not?
  13. 2 points
    Well, I can live with that. Put it there, Krabs!
  14. 2 points
    Happy Birthday, Whobob! Happy Birthday Cake!
  15. 2 points
    omg macOS Mojave in shambles
  16. 1 point
    Omair you are so smart and hardworking, I don’t think you’re going to fail It’s a weird time right now but I have confidence in you!
  17. 1 point
    August 2020 Day to Day Schedule: August 1st: Amphibia "Quarreler's Pass/Toadcatcher". (Complete) August 2nd: (Complete Nothingness) August 3rd: American Dad "Roger Needs Dick". (Complete) August 4th: Stargirl "Stars & S.T.R.I.P.E. Part One". (Complete) August 5th: Big Brother 22 All Stars Season Premiere/Episode 1. August 6th: (Complete Nothingness) August 7th: (Complete Nothingness) August 8th: (Complete Nothingness) August 9th: (Complete Nothingness) August 10th: (Complete Nothingness) August 11th: (Complete Nothingness) August 12th: (Complete Nothingness) August 13th: (Complete Nothingness) August 14th: (Complete Nothingness) August 15th: (Complete Nothingness) August 16th: (Complete Nothingness) August 17th: (Complete Nothingness) August 18th: (Complete Nothingness) August 19th: (Complete Nothingness) August 20th: (Complete Nothingness) August 21st: (Complete Nothingness) August 22nd: (Complete Nothingness) August 23rd: (Complete Nothingness) August 24th: (Complete Nothingness) August 25th: (Complete Nothingness) August 26th: (Complete Nothingness) August 27th: (Complete Nothingness) August 28th: (Complete Nothingness) August 29th: (Complete Nothingness) August 30th: (Complete Nothingness) August 31st: (Complete Nothingness)
  18. 1 point
    you guys legit deserve a break from all of these scummy members in the past couple years. I'm angry to hear about what happened today. I hope things get better from here and I hope everyone's been doing well besides of the recent event JJS told me about.
  19. 1 point
    1995 was 25 years ago. 20 years after, I called it one of the best years of the ‘90s. Where did the times come, where did they go? Do I really think this year is bad? Nah, there’s still a few dancey songs on the list that give the year its positivity. Is it one of the best years though? That’s the question I asked myself after listening to the worst songs this year offered. While this year did have a side that provides classics from the mid-‘90s everyone will still remember, it does combat that with an unhealthy amount of boring songs I doubt ‘90s kids won’t bother to remember. And if you’re reading this list right now, you know what we’re dealing with here. FRED'S BOTTOM 10 HIT SONGS OF 1995
  20. 1 point
  21. 1 point
  22. 1 point
  23. 1 point
    Can't believe I'm 20 now. But at least I've been able to drink for a good couple years already cuz I'm craving a drink to celebrate.
  24. 1 point
    Should've revived Celebrity Deathmatch instead smh
  25. 1 point
    Literally why. This cartoon should've been left in the 90s. There's no way this show would work today, especially considering that it's in the hands of Comedy Central, who I'm sure would exploit it the same way John K. exploited the higher rating that the APC got and make an actively nauseating experience.
  26. 1 point
    Never will get the hype for this cartoon, but with the cult following it has it was inevitable. I'd would've greenlit something new from a new creator in the industry but whatever.
  27. 1 point
    Well, as long as the show's original creator, isn't ALLOWED to touch the revival, not even with a...39 & a half foot pole!; and they avoid making the SAME mistakes that were made with "Adult Party Cartoon", I think it might work out fine. We'll just have to wait and see. Enough said!
  28. 1 point
    In order to get back to the action, we must first finish up the episode we are already on! So, here is the second and final part of the episode, "Performance Review: Confessions Of A Teenage Chipmunk Queen", for "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back"! I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it! / The commercials end, and in the bleachers, a completely bandaged Bessie Higgenbottom, is now seen sitting next to Lil Deville! Bessie TRIES to say something, but because the bandages are covering her MOUTH, all we can hear is: "MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!!" This ACTUALLY causes Lil to laugh, and she says: "I must admit, Bessie, you've NEVER sounded SO smart!" And Bessie angrily mutters: "MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!!" Norbert asks: "What did she say? Does ANYONE know what she SAID?!" Stimpy says: "Take it from MY personal experience, you DON'T want to know!" Norbert actually THINKS about it, but he decides, and says: "Point taken! Anyways, it's time to bring out the NEXT former eliminated contestant! Right, Daggett?!" Daggett says: "Right, Norbert! He was a penguin, a spy, a LIVING bag of holding, and a guy who both LIKED, but couldn't HANDLE spicy foods, give it up for RICO!!!!" Rico runs onstage on all fours, to THUNDEROUS applause! Daggett is puzzled, and he says: "I didn't ASK for applause!" Norbert says: "I didn't either, but maybe..." Norbert looks up, and sees the "Applause" sign lit up, and Norbert shouts: "HAYDEN!!!!" Hayden shouts: "Sorry, reflex!" And the applause sign is dimmed, but scattered applause can STILL be heard! Daggett shrugs his shoulders, and he says: "Huh! I guess Rico really DOES have some fans!" Norbert says: "There are bound to be fans for EVERY type of contestant on this show, no matter HOW misplaced they might be! But seeing as how I don't want to get into a discussion about it, let's get RIGHT to interviewing Rico!" Daggett says: "Right! Rico, why don't you take a seat?!" Rico just looks all puzzled at Daggett and says: "Bleh?" Norbert says: "Rico, do you WANT to sit, or would you rather stand?" Rico STILL doesn't get it, and says: "Bleh?" Daggett is STARTING to get angry, and RESTRAINING himself, asks: "Well, maybe you would LIKE to tell us what your experience on this show was LIKE for you?!" But Rico STILL looks confused, and just says: "Bleh?" Daggett FINALLY loses it, and screams: "AUGH!!!! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!!!!" Norbert says: "I can't either, and I'M the SMART beaver!" Daggett yells: "NORBERT!!!!" Norbert says: "Well, I AM!!!! I've got the IQ Tests to PROVE it! KATARRA!!!!" Katarra floats onstage to transcendental sitar music, and she says: "You rang? I ALWAYS wanted to SAY that!" Daggett says: "Katarra, we NEED you to do us a HUGE favor and TRANSLATE for us, and EVERYONE at home, EXACTLY what it is that Rico has been SAYING!" Katarra asks: "And what makes you think that I know HOW to do that?" Norbert says: "Well, you CAN read Auras!" Katarra says: "Fair enough. I'll see what I can do." Katarra feels Rico's stomach, where his heart is located, and Katarra says: "Hmm, I SEE." Daggett says: "So, what has Rico been saying?" Katarra says: "Well, in response to your FIRST question, Daggett, he said: 'I won't take orders from YOU, because YOU are a GREAT, BIG, STOOPY, POOPY, Beaver!' In response to YOUR question, Norbert, he said, 'I'm not sure yet, because I always have a tough time making up my mind.' And in response to your SECOND question, Daggett, he said, 'My experience on this show WAS fine until I got fed those SPICY peppers which caused me to lose control, and caused more than HALF of my team to vote against me, leading me to being HERE, being ASKED STUPID questions from a VERY angry BEAVER, DOOFUS'!" Norbert exclaims: "He said all THAT in ONE 'Bleh'?!" Daggett says: "I heard of 'Reading BETWEEN the LINES' but THAT'S just NUTS! And why did he have to call me a 'Great, Big, Stoopy, Poopy, Beaver'? That's VERY hurtful, you know!" Katarra says: "Don't shoot the messenger, I'm just telling you what he said from his point of view." Norbert says: "Right. And as long as YOU'RE here, Katarra, would you feel like telling us what you thought about the show?" Katarra says: "Well, I was already PRETTY convinced that Tigress was ALREADY only looking out for herself when she got ME eliminated, but watching the episodes AFTER my elimination, have only confirmed it! There is no doubt in MY mind, that Tigress is NOT going to be happy if some SMUG, SMART, know-it-all like KOWALSKI beats HER in the competition! Tigress may currently be regressed to be nine years old, but if I know Tigress as well as I do, she's NOT going to STOP until she UTTERLY decimates Kowalski in a challenge! His time as a contestant on this season of the show is in DANGER!!!!" Rico surprisingly asks: "BLEH?!!!" Katarra says: "Well, it's TRUE!!!! Tigress is obsessed WITH WINNING!!!! And when she DOESN'T win, she gets ANGRY, and she will take OUT her anger on whoever she thinks is the biggest THREAT to her in the game! And since TRYING to hit Jenny would get Tigress nowhere fast, not to mention, she would NEVER betray Po, she's going to target the NEXT biggest threat, who CURRENTLY, happens to be Kowalski! I'm sorry, but I don't see ANY scenario where Kowalski will come OUT of the ensuing mayhem unharmed!" Norbert asks: "Do...do you think there is any HOPE for Kowalski, OR Private?" Katarra says: "Hard to say. Unfortunately, as an eliminated contestant, I have no way to warn Kowalski, nor am I allowed to. Hopefully, Kowalski will be able to UTILIZE his knowledge in order to minimize the damage to himself, and NULLIFY any threats to Private! Because, when it comes right down to it, Kowalski will NEVER allow Tigress to lay a CLAW on Private, without going THROUGH Kowalski first! Tigress MAY be able to eliminate Kowalski, but Kowalski is GOING to make sure that it ends up costing Tigress EVERYTHING, including a chance at the title for this season!" And the audience CHEERS at the revelation, and Rico happily says: "Bleh!" Katarra chuckles, and she says: "I thought you would be happy about that! Needless to say, Tigress is going to be in for a BIG surprise when she finds out just HOW good Private can be in a competition! I think he's going to surprise nearly EVERYBODY, and go ALL the way, this season!" Daggett says: "As a fellow underdog, I would certainly like to SEE that! Thank you, Rico, and Katarra; why don't you both take a seat in the bleachers?" Rico runs to the bleachers, and sits on Bessie's lap, and even ALLOWS Bessie to pet him, while Katarra floats over to Stimpy. Stimpy says: "You know, I think you would've been a MUCH more interesting contestant to face than Aang, in seasons one and two." Katarra says: "If I had, either the whole Mesogog situation would've never taken place, or Master Coelaceanth would've found SOMEBODY else to inject Mesogog into!" Stimpy thinks about it, and he says: "Good point!" Norbert says: "Our next two contestants BOTH got eliminated in the same episode, so we're interviewing them together!" Daggett says: "One is a crime-fighting teen, who goes by the superhero alias of Danny Phantom!" Norbert says: "The other is a ten year old girl from Little Bark, who loves conditioning her hair, and playing practical jokes on her brother Foo." Daggett says: "Give it up for Danny Fenton, and Fee...actually, we don't KNOW what her LAST name is!" Danny Fenton flies onstage as Danny Phantom, while Fee walks onstage, with a BUNCH of Cubic Zirconium jewelry all OVER her, including a makeshift crown from the Cubic Zirconium she had found! Norbert says: "Wow, that is ONE fancy outfit, Fee!" Fee chuckles, and she says: "Thank you! I made it myself, with a little help from my Yeti Crab adopted brother, of course!" Norbert asks: "You mean, your parents ACTUALLY let you adopt the Yeti Crab as your older brother?!" Fee says: "Heck, yeah! After seeing how helpful he was in that underground treasure challenge, they adopted him post haste! We're not sure if we're going to give him a name yet, but for now, we're calling him 'Yeti'. We feel that when the time is right, HE will know what he wants to be called!" Daggett says: "Right! And just what IS it with that outfit of yours?" Fee says: "Well, after making a set of false teeth for my brother Foo, there was a LOT of material left over, so Yeti and I got busy crafting, and we came up with all of THIS! Now, I'm a regular little fashion model, with REASONABLE working hours of course! I can FINALLY afford a PROPER education and wardrobe, AND my parents can NOW even afford to move BACK to Little Bark! I'll be able to be friends with Harvey, Technobear, and all the other kids again, woo-woo! Who SAYS that miracles aren't possible?!" Norbert says: "Well said! And Danny Fenton, you had your share of struggles this season, and they weren't necessarily game related. What do you think tripped you up more; the famous spirits who were inhabiting your body. Or the fact that you TRIED to keep it to yourself?" Danny sighs, and he says: "No doubt about it, trying to keep that fact to myself. I've got no one to blame but myself. You see, I've always been used to pretty much figuring out my problems on my own. I mean, SURE, I've got friends back in Casper, but they don't have super powers like I do, so, I've ALWAYS kind of had to be at the FRONT of the action, because I KNEW that I could take pretty much ANYTHING that any evil ghost could throw at me! But, being sort of possessed by famous spirits, kind of threw me for a loop. That was a REAL outside context problem for me, and I didn't know how to deal with it. I guess...I didn't want to admit it, because I thought people would think LESS of me, for being unable to deal with a problem on my own. All I want to say is, I'm sorry for making such a mistake. And, if I ever get a chance to BE on this show again, I won't make that same mistake again!" Daggett says: "FUNNY you should say that! Because, it's time to reveal our SECOND surprise for tonight!" Lil says: "You mean, BESIDES me and Stimpy?!" Norbert says: "You know it! The reason WHY Sniz spent so much time AWAY from the show, during the beginning of the underground treasure challenge, is because he was in talks, to negotiate an end to the STRIKE the Fairy Godparents have been in! Sniz has agreed, to let the Fairies, have MANY concessions they never HAD before, if they come BACK to be interns! Well, I'm happy to tell you, the Fairy Godparents AGREED! They will be getting perks, such as being able to HAVE union breaks, including access to the chocolate fountain, the soda bar, and the buffet table! And because the Fairy Godparents are coming back, that means we're going to have a SECOND part to season four!" Stimpy asks: "A second part?" Daggett says: "That's right! Sniz and Fondue are going to let the Anti-Fairies and our current contestants finish off the competition they're already in, and once it's finished, we'll be able to find out who gets to compete in what WE'RE calling, season 4B of this show; Total Cartoon Legends!!!!" And music from "Legends of The Hidden Temple" plays in the background, to thunderous applause! Norbert says: "As you can guess from the title, Cartoon Legends, from both the past three incarnations of this show, and the one currently in progress, will be able to come back! Season 4B will have 30 episodes, 4 of which, will be Performance Reviews. We still need to determine, the contestants who WILL be returning for the show, before we can figure out, exactly how the Elimination structure will work. But rest assured, when the time comes, I will once again be helping to host the Performance Reviews, with Eliza Thornberry!" Daggett asks: "You're NOT going to compete in Total Cartoon Legends?!" Norbert says: "Nah. I already HAD my fun as a contestant on this show. I'm just going to kick back and commentate on it THIS time! Besides, there's a reason why I'm NOT competing in this upcoming season!" Daggett asks: "Why is that?" Norbert answers: "A very BIG reason, to give both YOU and Treeflower, the chance you've ALWAYS deserved, and to have ONE more shot at the grand prize and title, in season 4B, of Total Cartoon Legends!" Daggett noticeably tears up, and he asks: "You, want ME, to compete in Total Cartoon Legends, instead of YOU?!" Norbert says: "I still feel kind of bad for the way I treated you in season 2. Not to mention, you didn't even get a CHANCE to be a contestant on THAT season, whereas, I got two! So, I'm making it up to you, by letting both YOU and Treeflower go in my stead! And don't worry, I'll make sure that my kids are well taken care of while you're gone." Daggett actually HUGS Norbert for a change, and he says: "Oh, THANK you Norbert, you're the BEST!" Norbert says: "Well, I certainly try to be!" Danny is intrigued, and says: "Total Cartoon Legends, huh? Well, Fee, looks like me and you, MIGHT get another chance at the title, sooner than we thought!" Fee says: "As long as Harvey gets to come WITH me this time, I have no reason to complain!" Daggett says: "Thank you for your time, Danny and Fee, why don't you both take a seat in the bleachers?" Danny flies over, and takes a seat next to Katarra, and Fee sits next to Bessie. Katarra says: "Your Aura is all healed. It's no longer fractured, the way it used to be." Danny is confused, and says: "Thanks! I THINK!" Fee looks at Bessie, and says: "Don't worry about your hair! I've got a GREAT hair formula at home! I'll call my parents, and they'll give YOU some of MY instant hair growth formula!" Bessie actually perks up, and says: "MMMM!!!!" Norbert says: "Our final guests for tonight, is another two for one deal." Daggett says: "He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it ANYMORE obvious?!" Norbert says: "Actually, you can! He is a member of the famous band, Alvin & The Chipmunks, she is a member of the girl band, The Chipettes; give it up for Theodore Seville, and Brittany Miller!" Theodore and Brittany both walk onstage, holding hands, while the audience is loudly cheering! Katarra says: "Theodore and Brittany Miller ACTUALLY holding hands? Now I HAVE seen everything!" Brittany says: "Oh, it feels SO good to be back here!" Theodore says: "And its SO good to see you at your normal size! Even though, even if you had STAYED giant, there would've JUST been more of YOU to love; TECHNICALLY speaking, of course!" Brittany says: "Of course!" Daggett says: "Now, Theodore, some people think that the reason YOU lost the game, was because you went OUT of your way to try to impress Brittany Miller! Why did you MAKE such a foolish decision to TRY to run up a building, when General Barracuda was throwing barrels at you?! I mean, you should've KNOWN your OWN limitations, and not make such a RASH decision!" Theodore says: "First off, I had no way of knowing General Barracuda was THAT good at throwing barrels! Secondly, no one FORCED me to do it! I made that decision on my own! I may not have won, but at least I made an effort! That's a LOT more than what OTHER people make!" Norbert says: "I agree! It might not have been conducive to a LONG Term game, but it definitely helped you in your relationship with Brittany. I got to give you props for that! Now, Brittany; it's time we talked with you. Going into this show, you were ARGUABLY, the MOST famous contestant on this season! Why did you come here?" Brittany says: "Well, initially, I mainly did it to help boost my album sales, get on the covers of many famous magazines, and get written about! I DO have fans who like to know what I'm up to! But after getting eliminated the FIRST time, and then getting to come back as an intern, I actually had to do some honest, HARD work, for arguably, the first time in my life. And even though it wasn't easy, the way my singing career is, it felt more honest. I was helping to make sure, that a good show was going to happen, and that a good challenge, was going to take place! I might not have had the BEST scenes, or the MOST scenes, but in a way, I made SURE, that the progress of this show, happened in a way that was dramatic, and effective! I feel proud of my efforts! Of course, if I had known that eating that giant acorn was going to temporarily going to turn me into a giant, I wouldn't have eaten it. That DEFINITELY helped lead to my second elimination! But, I guess it's true with what a certain old saying goes; 'Hindsight is Always 20-20'." Daggett says: "That's certainly the truth! Now, it's time to ask the former eliminated contestants themselves, one FINAL question! Which contestant, do YOU want, to WIN the Final Two, at the end of season 4A, that we're currently in?!" Stimpy says: "Private!" Lil says: "Private!" Bessie says: "MMMM, MMMM!!!!" Katarra says: "She said, 'Private'!" Rico says: "Bleh!" Katarra says: "He said, 'Private, obviously'!" Theodore says: "I guess, Private!" Brittany says: "Awkward! I was going to say, 'Jenny'!" And everyone looks STRANGELY at her! Brittany says: "WHAT?! It's STILL better than saying, 'Tigress'!" Norbert thinks about it, and says: "Personally, that's a good point." Danny says: "Private, he helped me when no one else would!" Fee says: "I can't let Brittany be alone, I want Jenny to win, to!" Katarra says: "And I want Bubble Bass to win!" Daggett doesn't GET the comment at first, and he says: "Of course you do. (Beat) Wait, WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Katarra says: "I have my reasons." Norbert says: "Oh, really? And what would THOSE be?" Katarra says: "THAT, would be TELLING, wouldn't it?" Daggett says: "Very well, than. Guess YOU'RE still going to be mysterious! Well, I want Private to win, to! Norbert, how about you?" Norbert says: "You're NOT going to know who I WANT to win! I REFUSE to be predictable!" (Confessional) Norbert says: "I'm going to go AGAINST the majority decision, and I want Bubble Bass to win, JUST to rub it IN Tigress' over-competitive face!" (End Confessional) Daggett says: "So that's seven for Private, two for Jenny, one for Bubble Bass, and Norbert won't say. But, will any of THOSE three make it to the Final Two? THAT remains to be seen!" Norbert says: "Thanks for watching us! So, until next time! I'm Norbert Foster Beaver!" Daggett says: "And I'm Daggett!" Norbert says: "And this has been another edition of the Total Cartoon, Performance Review! So until next time, stay tuned in!" Daggett says: "And keep that popcorn popping!" Norbert says: "Awesome! I love this show!" / Episode Notes: No eliminations, due to it being a Performance Review. Featured Song: "The Winner Takes It All", performed by Stimpy and Lil. It's revealed that once "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back" is finished, "Total Cartoon Legends" will begin, and make up the SECOND half of season 4! / Personal Notes: The main reason why I wrote this Performance Review, was because I wanted to explore the thoughts of the eliminated contestants so far, especially since the "Total Drama" equivalent of this season, didn't do so for THEIR previously eliminated contestants! Also, I wanted to explain why it is that Tigress is AGAINST a penguin like Kowalski winning, but how WANTING to target him, will eventually lead to her OWN undoing! But how exactly THAT might happen, remains to be seen! / I hope you enjoyed READING this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!
  29. 1 point
    Warning: Contains violence, some adult language and mature themes. It's OMJ writing a western spinoff, what'd you expect? Plot: After the fall of Dead Eye Plankton and the return of Dead Eye Gulch to its former glory, Sheriff SpongeBuck must deal the ramifications of his heroic deed. Characters: SpongeBuck SquarePants - An out of towner who finds himself caught in the crosshairs immediately after arriving to the town of Dead Eye Gulch. Slowly easing himself into a role he never asked for, SpongeBuck now bears the weight of an entire town on his shoulders. Pecos Star - Seen by many as the "town idiot". This optimist makes a habit of complaining about people who don't contribute to the town when he, himself, makes little good use of his time and energy. Being SpongeBuck's first friend and confidante in the town, as well as having saved him from an early death once before, Pecos throws his weight around more than ever. William Krabs - The owner and proprietor of the Krusty Kantina, Bikini Gulch's most thriving and well-known establishment. His time of being pressed under the thumb of Dead Eye has left him with a somewhat pessimistic view of the world. In the wake of Dead Eye's downfall, Krabs takes up more of a leadership role in the town. Sometimes putting him at odds with the sheriff. Hopalong Tentacles - The stoic employee of William Krabs, working full-time behind the counter of the Krusty Kantina. Previously seen as one of the three driving forces in the town during the reign of Dead Eye, Hopalong eases himself back into the relative comfort of his mundane existence. Polene Puff - A former teacher, now an aspiring singer and entertainer, who performs regularly for the patrons of the Krusty Kantina. Experiences from both lines of work have molded her with a cynical take on people, and even more years of being terrorized by one of the west's worst haven't helped much in changing that. Kidd Rechid - A former member of an outlaw gang who was left for dead by a few of his own. Madtom Smith - A supposed bounty hunter from the mountains who drifted into town one day and hasn't left since. Former Deputy Pinky - A former deputy who served under Bikini Gulch's previous sheriff before SpongeBuck. Act 1: Frontier Justice The sun rises over the sleepy town of Bikini Gulch, slowly illuminating the dreary jailhouse where Sheriff SpongeBuck SquarePants currently resides. He's awoken by the whistle of the morning train going clickety clack down the track alongside the border of town. SpongeBuck: Hmm, morning already? He gets out of his makeshift living quarters under the sheriff's desk. He then picks out his signature, family namesake square pants/shirt combo. A piece of his spongy body appears to be missing, but he simply hides it by slipping his clothes over it. He then carefully places his hat atop the center of his head. He removes the custom made badge that the townsfolk gifted to him from the desk's drawer and cuts blood as he applies it to his chest once again, judging from the other other bloody poke holes in his shirt. He grabs the keys to the nearby cell before making his way towards it. He jiggles them about the cell door in a joyful, yet obliviously condescending fashion. SpongeBuck: Howdy do, prisoner, rise and shine! SpongeBuck unlocks the cell, grabbing a worn and used spittoon from inside. SpongeBuck empties its contents out onto the floor, leaving wads of chewed up copepods sprawled out on the floor. Some cleaner fish arrive to clean the copepods out before spitting them back up into the spittoon. All that got left over was Dead Eye Plankton, who laid on the wooden floor in a fetal position. SpongeBuck: It's back to repaying your debt to this here society! Dead Eye: Oh, come on! It's not like I killed anyone! SpongeBuck: Dead Eye, you outright murdered the last sheriff with the entire town able to corroborate that story. Dead Eye: Damn! I should've at least thought that one out better. SpongeBuck secures him with a ball and chain. SpongeBuck: Now it's back to the floor mat with ya! Get along now, and maybe your little legs will carry you there in time for the lunch rush. Dahaha! SpongeBuck grabs his bubble revolver and proceeds to lead Dead Eye out the office door, but they're greeted by the sight of the entire town already outside waiting for them. SpongeBuck: Oh, wow! Well, top of the morning, citizens of Bikini Gulch! Don't any of you worry, the prisoner is currently in transport to the Krusty Kantina as we speak and he will arrive in ample time for all of you to get your sick kicks in! Rest assured! Williams Krabs emerges to the front of the crowd. William: As hearty as that may be, I'm afraid that won't be taking place today or tomorrow or even the day after that. SpongeBuck: ...But, what about the next day? William: Especially the next day, nor will it take place on any other anymore. Dead Eye: Sheriff, not that I'm entirely against this, but what the hell are these yokels yammerin' on about? SpongeBuck: Yeah, just what the hell ARE you yokels yammerin' on about? Polene: Sheriff, the newly revitalized town of Bikini Gulch can only "rest assured" when it's finally been cleansed of a certain stank that has been stinking up the place for far too long. SpongeBuck: But fellas, we already done tried everything to get Pecos to take a bath. Why, we even gone and passed a law ordering him to! Pecos: *in the opposite jail cell* I REFUSE TO LET MY FREEDOMS BE INFRINGED ON! I'll rot in here all my life if I have to! And my body odor will only get worse with each passing day! SpongeBuck: And it's already provin' to be ineffective, if I do say so myself... William: Now that's a matter that shall be tended to another day, but today, we be talkin' about him, boyo! William points over to Dead Eye. Dead Eye: Watch where you're pointing that thing, boyo! I heard it's matin' season for your kind, don't wanna be sendin' out any mixed messages now. Polene: We, as a people, have elected to exercise our Neptune given right to judge as need judging, jury as need jurying, and William: Neptune forbid Polene: Execute as need executing. William: And the people of Bikini Gulch have decided that we're finally done with the games. It was fun while it lasted, but now that this town is finally firmly back on its feet, I do believe that it is high time that we send a message to any other outlaws out there looking to accost this town and its people for their own benefit! Polene: We refuse to leave ourselves vulnerable ever again! And we'll get that message across by hanging that no gooder out for all to see! SpongeBuck: What?! This is all a bit extreme, don't y'all think? Kidd: We already got all our kicks in! Now it's time to put an exclamation point on that son of a bitch and close the book on this dark chapter of Bikini's history! SpongeBuck: But Kidd, you too were an outlaw once, and then this town took you in when you were at your lowest; left for dead right at the entrance of town by your very own! Kidd: Don't ever compare me with that piece of shit, sheriff! I know who I was and what I did, but who Kidd Rechid was and what Kidd Rechid did is nothin' compared to who Dead Eye Plankton was and what Dead Eye Plankton did! I may have ran with them Rechid boys, sure, but that was only out of necessity. Goddammit, I was only just their cook. I didn't go around killin' people, enslavin' an entire town. I made myself useful to this town and I earned my keep. He burned any chance he ever had of trust and goodwill ages ago, as far as we're all concerned. SpongeBuck: But there's an official due process for these sorts of things now, imported straight from out east. Madtom, Former Deputy Pinky, surely you both would know! Madtom: In my line of work, most, if not all, bounties I'd rustle in end up the very same; limp and grey to the bone at the end of a rope. It's the only due process I've ever known, and I don't think that's gonna be changin'. Not now, not for him. Former Deputy Pinky: Now, speaking as the former deputy of this here town, I can at the very least corroborate that there is a due process of goin' about things that the east would like to see slowly implemented here, but the thing is, y'all; this may not be the east, but they ain't no better. The west is savage and brutal and a very long way's off from ever being tamed in the way that some would like. I know, I had to face off with some of the west's worst in my line of work. And I did my damnedest bringing law and order to this town alongside a great man that you all knew as well as I. A great man that Dead Eye Plankton, the worst yet that the west has to offer, took away from our undersea world. I don't know about y'all, but I personally can't stomach having to share the same town as the lowdown, dirty varmint who killed the man that made the ultimate sacrifice for all of us. A sacrifice that ultimately was in vain! With all due respect to you and everything you've accomplished in your short time here, Sheriff SquarePants, but I'm damn sure that the due process will very much be in agreement with us and would inevitably see to it that Dead Eye Plankton be wiped off the face of this here earth. William: There is no place in the world fer someone as evil as him, let alone in Bikini Gulch. You were given that badge by the people to serve the people, Sheriff SquarePants. It's all part of the job, lad. You best get to doin' it right. Kidd, Mad Tom and Former Deputy Pinky rips Dead Eye's chains out of SpongeBuck's clutch. William: That's it, boys! Bring 'em to the haphazardly constructed makeshift gallows! Dead Eye: Sheriff, you can't! You can't let them do this! This is a miscarriage of justice if I ever seen one! The townspeople carry Dead Eye away to the poorly constructed gallows in the center of town. Act 2: Ride or Die Idiot Friend SpongeBuck tries to get Dead Eye back into his custody, but members of the crowd cut him off at every turn. SpongeBuck races back to the jailhouse and unlocks the door to Pecos' cell. Pecos: Finally learned to live with it, huh? I don't know what everyone else was goin' on about earlier, you seem to be the only dangum person in this town with their head screwed on right. And that includes me! SpongeBuck: Now's not the time to be an idiot, Pecos! You have to help me bring some order to this town! Pecos: Say no more, buddy! I will go out there and I will lay your life on the line! SpongeBuck hands Pecos a second bubble revolver from the office's weapons cabinet. SpongeBuck: Remember, we're just tryin' to calm things down real peaceful like. So intimidation is key in this scenario. Pecos: Aye aye, sheriff! I'll make sure the first person I see gets the memo. SpongeBuck swipes the weapon out of Pecos' hand. SpongeBuck: On second thought, let's just mosey up on ol' Hopalong. It didn't look like he was apart of that mob. Pecos: Either that or he wasn't given any lines. They leave a trail of dust behind them as they hurry out of the sheriff's office. They run through the backs of the many buildings and small business that line up along the main strip of town, covertly navigating around the mob gathered all in the center. They sneak in through the back of the Krusty Kantina, where Hopalong is cleaning out the piano. SpongeBuck: Hopalong! Boy, am I glad to see you in here and not out there! Hopalong: And what brings the great Sheriff SquarePants into this dank establishment? Certainly not the service. SpongeBuck: Hopalong, the town's gone and formed themselves a posse! Hopalong: Huh. No wonder it's a lot emptier than what's usual for this time of day. Pecos: And they're really lookin' to do ol' Dead Eye in! Hopalong: Well can you blame them? He did ran roughshod over the entire town for Neptune knows how long. SpongeBuck: But the way they're goin' bout things just ain't right. We never had no proper trial in front of no proper judge, and I'm plenty sure that it's gonna be far from a proper execution. You're one of the most reasonable people in this town. Alongside William and Polene, the people looked to you when things were at their worst here. Dead Eye's screams from outside began being muffled as William has him tied up and gagged. Hopalong sighs. Hopalong: What'll you have me do? SpongeBuck hands him the second revolver. SpongeBob: We need to retake control, as well as Dead Eye, with as little damage done as possible. Nobody needs to be gettin' hurt out there, neither us or them. Not even Dead Eye. Once we got Plankton secured in a holding cell, I'll send a message on over to the bigger city in hopes that we can get him transferred over thataway, so's the proper authority can deal with him all proper and whatnot. Hopalong: SpongeBuck, YOU are the proper authority around these parts. YOU should be the one to finish dealing with this. SpongeBuck: But I can't! Hopalong: And why not? SpongeBuck: I just can't! I didn't ask to be given the power to decide who lives and who dies! I only ever came here for the fry cook job! Everything was all fine and dandy back when everyone was havin' fun stompin' the lil fella into the dirt! That wasn't too bad, felt like punishment enough if you ask me! I was expectin' there'd just be more of that! Hopalong: Alright, look, if you really want my help with this, you best give me your word that you'll get Pigsty Star here to take a bath. Pecos: No deal! Hopalong: And not only that, but you will abdicate your duties as sheriff of this town from this day going forward. Pecos: But this town wouldn't be where it's at now without SpongeBuck on patrol. Bikini Gulch would still very damn well be Dead Eye Gulch! Hopalong: I ain't gonna act like I know exactly what this town needs, but today finally confirms to me that it does deserve better in the sheriff department. Now, judging from all that commotion going on outside, I reckon you don't have much long to mull over my terms. SpongeBuck retreats into his mind to think things over as Pecos goes to bat for him. Pecos boldly states his case to Hopalong as SpongeBuck slowly tunes out all background noise. SpongeBuck: As sheriff of the Bikini Gulch township, Hopalong Tentacles, I give you my word and I accept your terms. SpongeBuck removes his badge and hands it over to Hopalong. Pecos: WHAT?! SpongeBuck: Pecos, you quit bein' selfish and think about the gosh darn soul of your town for goddamn once in your gotdang life! Pecos: Selfish? You, of all people in this hick town, have the gall to call ME selfish? After I saved your life, brought you back home from the wilderness, motivated you to take a goddamn stand for everybody else?! You wouldn't be sitting pretty in that sheriff's office if it weren't for me! This town would still be under the boot of that tyrant if it weren't for me! You would've just been another statistic in a long list of people who were either killed viciously or worked into the grave by that bastard Dead Eye! The very same Dead Eye that you, for some Neptune forsaken reason, want to save! And then what, further endanger the town?! He could break out at any moment's notice! If he has people on the outside looking in, they would see to that all the more! SpongeBuck: If he had any people, they certainly would've retaliated by now with all the stompin' goin' as of late! Pecos: Or they could just be biding their time, waiting for the sheriff who got their man to slip up! SpongeBuck: Well, then straight up killin' the damn varmint wouldn't exactly bode quite well for us if that were the case now, would it?! Pecos: Well damned if you do, damned if you don't, I guess! At least that way, we'll ALL be back in the same boat. I may be an idiot, hell, I know I am, but a friend? Well, I'll just let you be the judge of that, lawman. Pecos goes behind the counter and pours himself a glass of milk, on the rocks. SpongeBuck: Pecos, you just need to- Pecos: You just need to leave me to my drink, please! It seems like it's all I really got left. SpongeBuck: Well let's giddy up then, Hopalong, at least someone in this establishment knows what it means to be a good sidekick. And idiot friend. SpongeBuck and Hopalong leave Pecos to drown in his sorrows and filth. Hopalong: ...Come again? With them gone, Pecos grabs his glass and takes a seat at the piano. The idiot cracks his knuckles before taking a crack at playing "Pine Apple Rag" on it. He soon finds that one of the keys appear to be broken before continuing on with his set. Act 3: The Hanging of that dirty no good Dead Eye SpongeBuck and Hopalong exit through the swinging doors of the Kantina, coming upon the crowd gathered around outside for the public execution of Dead Eye Plankton. William: This has been, as you all know, a long time comin'. The Bikini Gulch Township has officially grown past this mad man. We finally know what it's like to be prosperous again after years of living in fear, of having the threat of death or worse hanging over our heads. After years of sleepless nights, after years of not feeling safe within our own home. Lindsey W. Plankton, the Minuscule Menace, former member of the outlaw gang they call the Golden Saddles. Guilty of murder, robbery, extortion, countless acts of atrocities against lawmen and the citizens they watch over. I say to you today, we will NOT tolerate these intimidation tactics any longer. For laying waste to this good town and the fine people in it, YOU WILL DIE. Personally speaking, I think a hanging is just too good for the likes of you. If I could have my way, I'd feed your sorry hide to a whale whole! But I can't even have that, because you made me lovely daughter cry herself sick, you merciless cur! Dead Eye looks pretty proud of himself until the panic starts kicking in when Polene brings the noose over his head with glee. A shot is heard sounding off in the crowd, startling many of the spectators. SpongeBuck has his bubble pistol raised high overhead. Kidd, Mad Tom and Former Deputy Pinky each go for their own pistols, but Hopalong sends out another warning directed towards them. He holds them off from retaliating by keeping his pistol stationary at them, but they cautiously keep their fins hovering over their own holsters. SpongeBuck: As the sheriff of your fine town, I order you all to cease, desist and disperse accordingly! William Krabs, unless you wanna share a cell with your old friend, Lindsey, Dead Eye stares a hole through SpongeBuck. SpongeBuck: I suggest that you cooperate and relinquish that dirty no good Plankton into my custody! William: What do you think you're doin', sheriff? What you're doin' right now could be seen as an obstruction of justice! SpongeBuck: Last I checked, Mr. Krabs, you made me the law of these here parts, yourself. So what YOU'RE doing right now qualifies more as an obstruction, the way's I see it. William: Boy, you've done good for this town. A lot of good. More good in your first 20 minutes than any of us did in our entire collective time being here, I'm willin' to admit. We all stood down and did nothin', then we had to grovel and beg the first stranger foolish enough to step foot into our town in years to solve our problem for us. We owe you a great debt, SpongeBuck. And that comin' from me, says a mighty lot about the respect that I do have for ya. Allow us to finally do some good for this town! Afford us the chance to take back everything that he took from us! Give us the closure we need to finally do right by you. SpongeBuck: Y'all can do right by me by not givin' into your pride! By not turnin' yourselves into some vigilante lynch mob with no better morals than that barnacle there! Y'all don't want that kind of stain on your souls. You can free yourself from that shadow of your past if you just let him go and hand him over. Polene: To Davy Jones with him, William! He wouldn't work up the nerve to hurt us if we don't comply, he can't even work up the nerve to execute Dead Eye after everything he did! Just kill the lil bastard and lets finally be done with it! SpongeBuck: If you do, then you will force my hand and I will take you in Dead Eye's place. William: Tch. Truss 'em up! SpongeBuck nervously fixes his sights on William. SpongeBuck: Goddammit, Krabs! That's enough! Krabs signals over to Polene. SpongeBuck: Don't get any closer! Polene, goes to secure the noose around Dead Eye's head. SpongeBuck pulls back the hammer on his bubble revolver. SpongeBuck: I'm warnin' you! SpongeBuck's mind proceeds to go all over the place, eventually taking him back to his final days on the SquarePants homestead. The main household on the property had been set ablaze and bubble shots echoed through the moonlit night. A slightly younger SpongeBuck found himself face to face with a few of his family's attackers. A couple of them were stringing up each arm of a mauve brittle star to the ends of five sea horses. SpongeBuck had a revolver pulled on them, holding the hostiles at gunpoint. SpongeBuck: I'm a sponge! SpongeBuck's hesitation allows one of the hostiles to get a shot in on him, piercing his side. SpongeBuck gets dropped to the ground, which is damp with blood. Paying no mind to the damage just inflicted upon him, SpongeBuck looked back up at the hostiles, who called for the seahorses to each make their move. But alas, the noose is far too big and loose for the minuscule menace. SpongeBuck: ...Yes! Dead Eye lets out a sigh of relief. He sways his head back and forth, causing the gag to loosen and fall from his mouth. Dead Eye: Fools! Each and every goddamn one you! All truly deserving of one another! SpongeBuck: Now back away from the prisoner real slow-like, ya hear. William: You just do what you've gotta do, sheriff. Hopalong: The only one who needs to back away is you. Hopalong has his bubble revolver aimed right at the back of SpongeBuck's head. Hopalong brings the peoples' attention towards the badge on his chest, the very same one that the town had gifted to SpongeBuck. The very same one that SpongeBuck surrendered over to Hopalong just earlier. Hopalong: As your newly appointed sheriff, I say that you are all well within your rights to deliver swift justice as you see fit. SpongeBuck: Hopalong, you can't- Hopalong pistol whips him, knocking the former sheriff down to the dirt. Hopalong: Stand down, SquarePants! I told you that Bikini Gulch deserves better after all it's been through. I can't say for certain that I'm exactly what the doctorfish ordered, but I can at least grant the town this opportunity. SpongeBuck: This isn't what I intended, Hopalong! Pecos: This is *hic* exactly what you in*burp*tended, SpongeBuck! Pecos drunkenly makes his was out of the Krusty Kantina, full of milk. Pecos: I beared witness to the transfer of *hic*power myself! He, what you said, abcrunched the position over to ol' Hopalong *hic*here! Polene: Well, that settles that then. Hopalong: Today, Hopalong pulls out a spool of piano wire out from his pocket. Hopalong: he hangs. The crowd erupts in applause as Hopalong passes the wire on from one spectator to the next, until the wire makes its way into the hands of Polene. She examines it closely. Polene: This'll work real nice. Polene fashions the piano wire into a mini noose and wraps it as tightly as she can around Dead Eye's scrawny neck. Dead Eye: You can't do this! Aren't we supposed to be livin' in civilized times?! Polene: Civilization went out the window the moment you stepped in, you little shit. I can't wait to see whatever life you got left in ya petter out behind that eye of yours. Then, and only then, will you truly live up to that name of yours. Dead Eye: You'll regret this! I know people! Plenty of 'em! Enough to outnumber this entire town tenfold! William: If you had those kinds of connections, surely they'd have act by now. You're more alone now than you ever were, Lindsey. It embarrasses me to think that we ever feared the likes of you. Dead Eye: Come on, Krabs! You love money, don't ya?! I gots money! Lots of it! And it can all be yours! I've even tinkered with a lil somethin'-somethin' that can fatten pockets more than you could ever imagine! Hear me out! Please! William: PULL IT. Dead Eye: NO- Polene pulls the lever, dropping the floor beneath Dead Eye and causing the piano wire to fasten tightly around his throat. Dead Eye gags and gasps for dear life as he dangles helpless high above the ground due to his size. His eye begins to bug out, damn mear popping out of its socket. Blood vessels in his eye begin to burst, slowly turning bright red and then a deeper shade of crimson. Pink foam exits his mouth as the piano wire cinches deeper into the skin of his neck, the red stuff starting to seep out from where the wire is digging in. Another pop goes off and the piano wire suddenly snaps, dropping Dead Eye down to the ground below, right before he would have lost consciousness. Smoke exits the barrel of SpongeBuck's revolver, having made quite the difficult shot from his uncomfortable position on the ground. Hopalong kicks the revolver out of SpongeBuck's grasp and restrains him. William and Polene jump down from the gallows to inspect Dead Eye. William: Grrr, the hangin' didn't kill him... SpongeBuck appears pleased with himself, having just managed to spare Dead Eye from a cruel death. William: But that fall sure did. And just like that, SpongeBuck could feel his heart sinking in his chest. William: A fall from that height must've been like a 30 story drop to him. Not exactly as ideal as I imagined, but nevertheless, the deed is done. As you were. Polene: That son of a- bring him here! I'll make sure it goes down right this time! William clamps Polene by her arm, holding her back. Polene: Let me go! He took our moment away from us! He- William: As you were, Mrs. Puff! William pushes her back a few steps, taking a few moments to stave her off of SpongeBuck a bit longer. She eventually directs her anger back towards Dead Eye, stomping his corpse before covering it with a glob of spiteful spit. The crowd finally disperses, allowing SpongeBuck to get a much better look at Dead Eye's dead body, mangled and laying in a pool of his own viscous fluid and Polene's spit. Hopalong picks an unresponsive SpongeBuck back up to his feet and escorts him to the jailhouse, where a cell awaits and surely with his name on it. Krabs takes a moment to reprimand Pecos for his disorderly conduct. William: Get this goddamn bottom feeder out of here! It's only right that those two idiot friends share a cell together. William, Kidd and Former Deputy Pinky are seen at the entrance of town, currently in the process of of suspending Dead Eye Plankton's body from the newly constructed town sign. William: Careful, boys, easy does it. I don't think it'll still be in one piece after another fall like that last one. Kidd and Pinky manage to keep it hanging without a hitch. William: Good work, lads! This oughta send a clear message to any new arrivals that Bikini Gulch is a town to be reckoned with! A tough-looking rough and tumbler crosses the train tracks and approaches the entrances, failing to even notice the microscopic dead body hanging over them. William: Howdy, pard! This town sure doesn't seem like the kinda place to be causin' any trouble in, huh? Rough and Tumbler: I sure hope it is. William: Of course it is! Rough and Tumbler: Well, all right then. It looks a little too out in the open and vulnerable, is all. Just feels like any outlaw with a shred of notoriety can mosey on in at a moment's notice and completely take the place over solo without so much as a scuffle. William: We were the ones that hanged that dirty, no good Dead Eye Plankton, don't ya know?! Rough and Tumbler: Who?? The rough and tumbler just looks at them, genuinely puzzled, before continuing on his way. Kidd & Former Deputy Pinky: ... William: Just throw out that trash! It's startin' to give me a rash.
  30. 1 point
    I am SO flattered that my idea was the one that was chosen! I hope that everyone enjoys it, as much as I did coming up with it! Enough said, true believers!
  31. 1 point
    Hats off to the writer for making an SBC parody of this movie as nice, clear and concise as this was. Feels like a pretty daunting task, at least to me.
  32. 1 point
    I totally forgot about this thread lmao so sorry April is such a savage
  33. 1 point
    Thanks to all who submitted. The staff has chosen, and we will be going with @4EverGreen's noir event idea as our August event! Stay tuned for more info on it later this week!
  34. 1 point
  35. 1 point
    Event name: Anime August Theme: Anime Skin themes: Giant robots, magical girls, ninjas
  36. 1 point
    I never realized how much I Fucking Love Ben Wyatt?
  37. 1 point
    happy birthday @Hayden
  38. 1 point
    Happy Birthday, Hayden! Happy Birthday Cake, for you, and everyone else having a birthday today!
  39. 1 point
    Happy birthday @Hayden!
  40. 1 point
    I've got an idea! How about a Detective Noir Mystery Theme?! The skin could be based on the Squidward Noir episode from "Spongebob Squarepants", and there could be a ton of mystery related games, like scavenger hunts, a Whodunnit?, trivia games based on real life mysteries and other riddles, and other things like that?! There could be exclusive, or new items, based on the Mystery Theme available for purchase in the shop, to! Anyways, that's my idea! Enough said, true believers!
  41. 0 points
    First off, it's going to be a Final two, not a final three, this season. Secondly, one of the penguins WILL make it to the Final 2, but the other one is sadly, living on borrowed time, thanks to hot-headed Tigress. But the penguin who GETS eliminated, will provide the other, the incentive they need, to make it ALL the way to the Final Two! After all, a final three like that WOULDN'T be very exciting, now would it? Enough said!
  42. 0 points
    Aye, here here, Sheldon. But ya yellow belly Krew members better be more active in the next event, or so help me, I'm mounting yer butts over me fire place!!!
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