The Ballsy Journey of the Testicle-Eating Fish

[Wumbo]

 

[MMM]

omfg i will love this

[E.V.I.L.]

lol this is going to be wonderful XD

[Someone]

aw man really ?

[So Sejima]

Oh no *moves to another planet to avoid being in this SO*

[Cha]

Dylan should cowrite this.

[TJ]

I should have seen this coming xD.

[Steel Sponge]

I guess nobody says the "Pacu fish" anymore, but I can understand the catch.

 

Seeing the hype through this, I'll be looking forward to it.

[Wumbo]

Dylan should cowrite this.

Dylan and Cha are now co-writing this.

[OWM]

I'd like to see him terrorize SpongeBob and friends.

[Wumbo]

Episode 1: Origins

 

(Disclaimer: This lit does not accurately portray the sex lives of fish.)

 

In the beginning, fish were pleasant creatures. The thought of chomping down on a pair of balls never occurred to them.

 

That is, until one day.

 

That fateful day, two fish with unstoppable libidos got together and made sweet, passionate fish love. But in the midst of the sex, a terrible thing happened.

 

That terrible thing was an unwanted bite on the testicles of a male fish. Some say it happened by accident. Others, that the lady had a subconscious fetish. Whatever the case, the male was rendered sterile immediately after conception. They still had high hopes for their one child to grow up big and strong.

 

That child grew up to be a noticeable menace.

 

It was kicked out of school for rambunctious behaviour, one incident involving biting the nether regions of other fish. Even so, something still wasn’t satisfied in this sick, sick, mind of the fish. He wanted more than just fish testicles. He wondered if there would be a snack that would satisfy his needs.

 

Little did he know that soon, he would find it.

[Cha]

Episode 2: Balls (Jaws)

The beast decided to take a trip far away from his home in the River Sevine, Paris. He knew that a fresh start might do him some good. And by fresh start, he wanted fresh balls.

Legend has by locals a French fisherman decided to take a skinny dip that day true to the European stereotypes of naked beaches that are there. Little did the man know, there was a savage testicle craving creature down below. Some say the fish was marveling at the sight he saw above it, that the fish never saw human balls before....such.....large....parts......bigger than the average fish's.....and probably tastier.....juicer....ballsy.....

And the fish found out just that as he grabbed hold on the fisherman's five dollar foot long. The man claimed before he passed out, he quickly looked down below to see a shadow probably belonging to a fish and blood from his anus. He swam for life to his boat, but didn't make it and he let out a high pitched scream in pain from testicles. The fisherman's naked body was found barely alive. He had just enough energy to tell paramedics of this event before he died. The fish was the happiest he had ever been........but he craved for more. And more he was going to get.

[SpongeOddFan]

lulz story, Cha

[E.V.I.L.]

Wumbo and Cha this was beautiful and justifies my argument that beaches are overrated. xP

[Moar Boy]

This shit is twisted

Carry on.

[Ron]

Episode 3: Finding Balls (And Love)

 

As the ballsack-craving fish continued swimming around the European coastline, he decided he needed to make the bold move of heading across the Atlantic to the New World. Would there be new balls there for him to chomp on? Or would be vaginas be a'plenty there? There was a risk, but The Ballsacker was ready for any challenge. 

 

 

In a title intro a la Finding Nemo, the little testicle-chomper that could began his journey across the Atlantic ocean! It was a brave new world ahead of him... this was it. He was about to embark on the journey of a lifetime! This was his chance, his opportunity... he had so much to lose. Everything was riding on this moment. He hoped the judges would like him, especially Simon. 

 

Wait, what? 

 

The Ballsacker continued to the Pacific Ocean, when all of a sudden, his ADHD kicked in and he was unable to concentrate. In fact, he repeatedly crashed into the same algae-coverd rock for over 30 minutes! Finally, a purple fish that pretty much looked/was Kate Middleton passed by and asked why he was doing this. 

 

The Ballsacker was unable to conjure an adequate answer, so he stalled by pretending to have a seizure. However, this only made the purple fish freak out more. She began to cry as she called for the fish police to help. Over those few moments, they fell in love. 

[Wumbo]

Episode 4: Conception

 

The two lovebirds... er, fish swam off into the deep, dark recesses of the trenches in order to consummate their relationship. However, The Ballsacker was worried that some unwanted foreplay would occur during the consummation, so he made sure to raise his tailfin to show he was the dominant one. The female fish relented, and together they made some bubbly magic happen. This caused the female fish to become pregnant, no doubt with another ball-muncher. 

 

The Ballsacker came to the realization that he could create a whole new species: one that would feast on balls, and nothing more than balls. And he would do it.

 

But he needed help.

 

So he snuck around, wooing every female fish he could find and then performing sex, impregnating each and every one. He's just that good. Soon, he thought. Soon he would have an army of ball-munchers to raise. And he couldn't wait.

[MMM]

Hilarious stuff.

[Cha]

Episode 5:

Summer: Feeding Season

As the season hottest part of the year aka Summer came around, this meant millions of million of species around he world would be giving birth to a new generation. And fish aren't shy to this, especially mothers of testicle eaters. One by one, mothers the first generation of species were thrilled (and somewhat mortified) at what popped out of their eggs. The future spawns of the devil, though being only a couple hours old at a time quickly knew what they needed as nutriment. There was no doubt horror in the newly moms' faces as they watched their children feast upon the other's no-nos.

The males would bite each other's off, leaving both ball-less in seconds. While the females had more of an advantage and could settle their appetite for multiple balls. And as it was summer, this same cycle of newly borns would continue to happen. And it was even worse that the older females would attack upon the younger males. Even with the mom's trying their best to end it, they couldn't. The original ball eating daddy had to put a stop to this before his race of children was gone. He tried showing his family that there was more to life than fish's private parts. There was in fact something even more special, something that the daddy fish had experience with a sailor many moons ago, and that is human balls. Daddy promised that one day he would indeed get them their human testicles. So as the population finally stopped harassing each other, they once again grew in a large number.

[Wumbo]

Episode 6: Fall (Harvest Season)

 

When the season of fall rolls around, the testicle-eating fish know that this means they must prepare for the grueling winter ahead. They begin to ejaculate on their underwater houses to insulate them. They go out and buy discounted winter clothes at Goodgill. But before they do all that, they must venture out for one last hunt to stockpile food for the winter. The fish go out on September 21^st to unsuspecting waders, and have the biggest feeding frenzy of the year. They only eat a fraction of what they catch, and save the rest to take home for the long winter ahead.