Doody Era

[Young Nug]

I finally did it.

 

Plot: Shinya and Jjs are selected to deliver the ultimate Spin-Off to SpongeBuddy Mania to end the Doody Era of Spin-Offs. But they may just have to cross the very boundaries of the internet itself to do so...

 

Season 1

Episode 1: Doody Era

Episode 2: Time After Time, Part 1

Episode 3: Time After Time, Part 2

Episode 4: Molestor Motel

Episode 5: Turnin' Up At Turntable

Episode 6: ROBLOX Begins, Part 1

Episode 7: ROBLOX Begins, Part 2- The Snark Knight

Episode 8: ROBLOX Begins, Part 3- The Snark Knight Rises

Episode 9: Hop On It

Episode 10: 1j1 Gets Arrested And Stuff

Episode 11: Meanwhile, At SBC: Rise Of A Goddamn Heroe

Episode 12: Homecoming, Part 1: Infiltration

Episode 13: Homecoming, Part 2: The End

 

Season 2

Episode 14: Rust

Episode 15: Skype

Episode 16: Homecoming, Part 3005: Running Back To SBC With My Woes

Episode 17: Yeezy Street

Episode 18: Convergence

Episode 19: Shit

Episode 20: TerminEx On The Train

Episode 21: TerminEx Turn Off The Television

Episode 22: Return to ROBLOX: Back 2 Tha Muthafuckin Basics N' Shit

Episode 23: Homecoming, Part 4: The Gates

Episode 24: The Really Exciting Second Season Finale Episode

 

Episode 1: Doody Era

 

It was a dark time for SBC. While the heated wars of SpongeBuddy Mania were far behind them, the great kingdom of SBC had recently faltered. The Kingdom had tried to expand and combine with the Wiki Village and the Fanon Slums, and it had massively failed. King Dylan was under massive stress from January to June, and in the end, he resigned as King, and put Nuggets in his place. Things seemed to look up for a while.

 

And then they tried to expand the Kingdom again and it sucked.

 

But King Nuggets had a new plan. Something that would surely bring the Kingdom back to its glory days. A scribe ran into Nuggets’ throne room, carrying a large box. Lightning flashed through the window, illuminating the large, stony room.

 

“Sir!” The scribe called. “Your project is here!”

 

“Excellent,” The King said. “Deliver it to the scientist. It shall begin.”

 

= = =

 

It was a small room. It was dark, too. In the center of the room was a table with a light hanging overhead and at it sat a woman with a pharmacists coat on. She was scribbling furiously on her notepad when the door opened and light flooded into the dark room. In came two guys. One was a boy, about 16, with a black jacket on, and he shuffled into the room and quickly sat in the chair in front of the table. The other guy was older, and he had sunglasses and headphones over his ears. He sauntered into the room, and plopped down into a chair.

 

“Well, hello. What are your names?” The pharmacist said.

 

“SG, you’ve known me and jjs for years, I’m sick of you asking that question every time you see us.” Shinya said, taking off his sunglasses. Jjs snickered and took off his jacket.

 

“Well, I suppose you’re wondering why I’ve called you here.” SG picked up a large box and dropped it on the table. Shin, not one to wait, jumped and lifted the box open. Inside were thousands of papers stacked on top of each other.

 

What is this? Synthetic weed made to look like paper?  I like this plan already, SG.”

 

“That’s not weed. It’s a shipment of spin-offs.” At this, Jjs snorted.

 

“Why would you ever ship spin-offs anywhere? I can’t remember the last time I saw a good spin-off.”

 

“You’re right, jjs. In fact, I’d say we’re in the middle of a dark era for spin-offs.”

 

“More like a Doody Era.”

 

“Mmhmm,” Mandy said. “But this right here, is the best spin-off ever written. Crafted by only the best story-tellers on the internet, it’s an epic poem detailing an amazing adventure, and we need to deliver it to SpongeBuddy Mania for the members there to finish the final chapter. We’ve chosen you two to deliver it there.”

 

“Question,” Shin said, not paying attention. “Who cares?”

 

Mandy scowled.

 

“Spin-Offs are a dying art, you know. They’re very important to our community. I remember the good old days, where we’d go to the Spin-Off Theater on Fridays, watch a few episodes, head out to eat. Don’t you want that back?” Shin shrugged.

 

“Whatever . I guess.“ Shin said.” Jjs raised his hand.

 

“I have another question. How do you expect us to get all the way to SpongeBuddy Mania?” He said.

 

“That’s the easy part,” Mandy said, smiling. “Come out here with me.”

Mandy stood up and walked out of the dark room, and Jjs and Shinya followed.

 

= = =

 

SG stood in front of a sleek, large, hamburger shaped vehicle with pickle wheels. Jjs and Shinya stared at it with a scowl.

 

“What the fuck is this?” Shin asked in disbelief.

 

“It’s a total replica of the Patty Wagon.” Jjs and Shin meandered into the sandwich.

 

“This is totally the best car ever.” Shin said sarcastically.

 

“I know, right?” Jjs said.

 

“Hey, what’s this button do?” Jjs asked. He clicked a button on the dashboard. Loud blaring rap music started bursting out of the speakers. Shin grinned and hit the button again. The music stopped. Jjs hit another button. A rocket launcher popped out of the gas tank.  Shin and Jjs smiled at each other.

 

“Maybe this car isn’t as terrible as we thought .” Jjs said.

 

“Hah, yeah. Imagine how many dead carcasses would fit in here!” Shin said. Jjs looked at Shin.

 

“Not that I would want to put any dead bodies in here…” Shin laughed nervously.

 

“What does this button do?” Jjs asked. He almost pushed the small black button, but SG yelled out.

 

“NO! That’s the self-destruct button!”

 

“What dumbass would put a self-destruct button in there?” Shin grumbled. SG smiled nervously and whistled nonchalantly. Jjs and Shin looked at each other with an irritated look.

 

“SG, would you happen to have any other cars available?”

 

“Nope.” She said. “Just that one.”

 

“You expect us to deliver this weed-“

 

“Spin-Off,” SG said.

 

“Spin-Off, weed, same thing.” Shin said. “You expect us to deliver this Spin-Weed across the country in a sandwich car?”

 

“…Yes.” Mandy said. Shin began to walk out of the garage.

 

“Just a heads up, Jayman. This trip is gonna suck.”

 

= = =

 

Shin sped through SBCity at 90 MPH. He nearly ran over CNF as the Patty Wagon zipped past the Entertainment Rec Center.

 

“Hey! You could’ve killed me!” CNF called after the car.

 

“I’m pissed that I didn’t!” Shin called back. He then turned back around and weaved between cars on “Maybe I Should Just Drive My Car Into A River Or Something” Road.

 

“Shin, could we please slow down?” Jjs asked, clearly nauseous.

 

“Sorry, but we can’t slow down until we get to Ex’s Surf Shack. SG told us he’d give us the map, remember?”

 

“Right. But do you have to go so fast?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Shin continued speeding down the street, when he took a sharp turn onto a dirt road. Jjs turned his head to the side. They were in a highly wooded area. Through the trees, Jjs could almost make out smoke billowing. He realized it was a train.

 

“Yo, Shin, is that Rusty’s train?” Shin looked over, took a sharp turn right, and sped back onto the street.

 

“Stay the hell away from that thing, you got me?”

 

“I got you.” Jjs smiled. A few minutes later, and the Patty Wagon pulled into Ex’s Surf Shack. Jjs and Shin hopped out of the car and went inside. The Surf Shack was a quaint, wooden place, Ex was at the counter, leaning over. He straightened up when he saw Shin and Jjs.

 

“Sup, guys?”

 

“Yo, Ex. What’s good?” Shin said, grinning.

 

“Not much. You want this map?” Ex held up a rolled up piece of large paper.

 

“You know it.” Ex tossed the map to Shin, and then pulled out his 3DS.

 

“I’ll see you guys later.” Ex said. “Be careful.” Jjs and Shin exited  the shop and hopped back into the Patty Wagon. It was afternoon now.

 

“So, where to first?” Jjs asked as Shin unrolled the map. He held it in front of him. Shin’s face as he read the map was a jumble of expressions. Smiles, frowns, scowls, unsure looks. Then he looked to Jjs.

 

“Look at this shit, man. We gotta go to the Xat Fountain, the Skype Hangout, we’ve gotta go back to fucking Roblox of all places! The Spin-Off Theater, Turntable, tinychat…This is gonna suck so much.”

 

“Nah, dude.” Jjs said, leaning back. “It could be fun. As long as we have tunes and we don’t mess with any alternate universe stuff like we did a few years back, it should be smooth sailing, right?”

 

“I guess.”

 

“So, where to first?” Jjs asked again.

 

“First stop is the Xat.” Shin revved up the Patty Wagon.

 

“Then away we go!” Jjs laughed as the car sped out of the parking lot and into the sun, towards the Xat.

 

“Time to get out of the Doody Era!” Shin called to no one in particular.

 

Meanwhile, in the back of the trunk, the box the Spin-Off was contained in glowed. The box shuffled.

 

Something big was happening.

 

-End.

[SpongeOddFan]

FANTASTIC START, AN!

[ClassicNickelodeon Fan 1]

I love you.

[Steel Sponge]

I guess my writing talent laden with dialogue tags might have rubbed off on you, but looks more improved than UWS, so it doesn't seem as similar to it though.

 

Moving on, the Doody Era is okay, I don't see the point of coining that name. I give you points anyways. I'll await the next episode of Season 1. This is might be meant to last for another season, right?

[Young Nug]

Moving on, the Doody Era is okay, I don't see the point of coining that name. I give you points anyways. I'll await the next episode of Season 1. This is might be meant to last for another season, right?

Jjs actually coined the name, but I thought it'd make a nice title for a Spin-Off. And it'll go for at least two seasons.

 

I might actually have the next episode up today.

[So Sejima]

yay!

[E.V.I.L.]

Nice job!

[Metal Snake]

DOODY ERA

 

Ha ha, I love it.

[Young Nug]

Episode 2: Time After Time, Part 1

 

Shin pulled up to the Xat Fountain. It was night time, and the moon was reflected in the fountain’s water. Shin hopped out and Jjs did the same.

 

“Alright, so what do we have to do here?” Shin asked. Jjs looked at the map. He touched the image of the Xat Fountain on it.

 

“SG wrote a little note here. It says, ‘Get the ray gun from Elastic in the Xat Café. You’ll need it when you get to Robloxia, trust me.’“

 

Jjs looked at Shin.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jjs asked. Shin shrugged and pointed towards the café, on the other side of Xat Square.  The two dashed across, saying hey to people like Trophy and Box. The two skidded to a stop outside the Café. It was a small, brown, modern looking café. Jjs pushed open the door, and heard a little bell ring. Shin stepped in also. The two waved at , and Elastic smirked and ducked behind the counter. He pulled out a bag. Shin walked over and took the bag.

 

“This is the gun, right, Ela?” Shin asked.

 

“Yeah, that’s it.” Elastic said, not really paying attention. He looked up at Shin. “Oh, guys, be careful out there.” Jjs and Shin turned towards Elastic.

 

“Why?” Jjs and Shinya said in unison.

 

“The Xat has been acting crazy lately, and some bad stuff is happening. Just be careful, alright?” Elastic said. Shin and Jjs looked at each other with a bit of a freaked out glance.

 

“Oh, and another word of advice: Don’t talk about tits out there. It won’t end well.”

 

They exited the café. Shin leaned on the Patty Wagon and pulled out his phone while Jjs looked at the gun.

 

“This thing is pretty awesome, y’know?” Jjs said, twirling the gun in his hands. “I wonder how much power it has.” Jjs could see his reflection in the sleek blue of the gun’s handle. A drop of water fell on the handle. Jjs looked up. Clouds had started to gather in the dark night sky. Jjs nudged Shin.

 

“Yo, Shin, we should get going, don’t you think?” Shin didn’t reply. He bobbed his head, now with headphones, rapping.

 

“Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Okay, Lamborghini Mercy, yo chick she so thirsty…” Jjs sighed.

 

“I guess I have to wait until the song is over.” Jjs sighed and leaned against the Patty Wagon.

 

= = =

 

Jjs woke up. He looked around. He was in the Patty Wagon, and Shin was asleep in the driver’s seat. Jjs looked out at the Xat Square. Everyone was gone. Jjs then became aware that it was pouring rain and he was soaking wet. He looked across the square at the Café, but the lights were off. Jjs looked at his watch. It was only 9:30. Jjs concluded two things. ‘1,’ He thought, ‘I must’ve fallen asleep. And 2, if it’s 9:30 on a Friday night, and no one’s here. Something is very wrong.’

 

Jjs, through the sound of the rain, heard something. It was a deep rumble. And he didn’t just hear it. He felt it in his body. The rumble grew louder. Jjs didn’t know what was happening. He looked around but saw no one in the rain. He turned to Shin very quickly in fear.

 

He shook Shin but Shin didn’t wake up. He only lightly mumbled.

 

“Okay……catch up to my campaign…” Jjs shook Shin even harder as the rain grew more intense. Lightning flashed and the rumbling grew louder. Shin still did not wake up. Jjs looked in despair around to see if anyone could help him. No one, nothing was around, except for the café.

 

It was his only chance.

 

Jjs vaulted over the side of the Patty Wagon and made a mad dash towards the Café. The rumbling grew louder as Jjs grew closer to the café. Jjs reached the door of the café. It was surprisingly unlocked. He ducked inside, glad to be dry. The rumbling, however, didn’t stop. It grew worse. Jjs looked outside at the Patty Wagon, as Shin continued to sleep in the rain and rumble.

 

“Hopefully he’ll be alright.” Jjs said. “I still have no idea what this rumbling could be, though. This never usually happens-“

 

Just then, a clock fell from the wall. Jjs jumped out of the way and turned to investigate. The clock’s glass was cracked, but there was something else peculiar about it.

 

The clock was spinning backwards.

 

Jjs knew what the rumbling was. He dashed to the window and screamed. A bolt of lightning zapped the Patty Wagon.

 

“SHIN—“ Jjs shrieked. But it was too late.  Everything went away.

 

= = =

 

Shin awoke.

 

It wasn’t night anymore. Soft, white-yellow light shone through the café windows. Shin sat up.

 

“Wait….Cafe? I fell asleep in the Patty Wagon last night….” Shin blinked a couple times. “So how’d I get here?”  The café looked normal. Maybe a little newer? Something was different. Shin stood up and walked out of the café and down the stairs. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, the ground wasn’t wet. It was as if the previous night hadn’t even happened. Shin saw Ex and a big crowd standing near the fountain, and he walked over to it. Everyone was gathered around Aquatic Nuggets. But when Shin got through the crowd and saw Nuggets, he froze.

 

Nuggets didn’t look 15. He looked like he was 13.

 

“Well, it’s not my fault Nick sucks!” Nuggets yelled in a prepubescent voice. “They shouldn’t have taken Zeus Cervas’ name off of that SpongeBob episode!” Shin’s eyes widened. Someone tapped him on the shoulder and he spun around. He looked down and he saw jjs, who looked a year younger.

 

“Yo, Shin! Thanks for showing us Gangnam Style last night. It was pretty cool.”

 

Shin looked at Jjs blankly. The Xat’s monthly period had zapped him all the way back to Summer 2012.

 

“Shiiiit.”

 

-End.

 

Probably going to go with an episode a week schedule after this.

[Young Nug]

Episode 3: Time After Time, Part 2

 

Shin paced around the Xat Fountain, the sun shining down on him.

 

“Alright, so no one believed me about how I’m from the future and how I was zapped back in time. “ He said to himself. “So what am I supposed to do? Do I just wait a year?” Shin shook his head.

 

“Nah, can’t do that. There’s probably another Shin here somewhere, I’d mess up the timestream. Come on, Shin, think. What happened this summer that could get you back to 2013?”

 

Shin sat down on the fountain. Ex walked over and sat next to Shin.

 

“Yo Shin, what’s up?” He said.

 

“Not much, not much.” Shin said.

 

“That Nuggets guy pissed me off. That Zeus shit he was talking about was so stupid.”

 

“Mmhm.” Shin said, not really listening.

 

“I mean, with this whole S Team crap going on, arguments are the last thing we need.” Ex said. Shin’s head shot up.

 

“S Team!” He yelled. “That’s it!” Shin began talking to himself while Ex watched in confusion.

 

“Depending on what day it is, and when the chat was hacked…” Shin spun around.

 

“EX! What’s the date?” Ex checked his phone.

 

“Uh…July 25^th.” Shin snapped his fingers.

 

“Yes! That means, any minute now…” Shin ran out of the Xat Square, leaving Ex behind.

 

“What a weirdo…” Ex said, going back to his phone.

 

= = =

 

The view from atop the hill overlooking the Xat Square was quite nice. Shin looked at the forest that was a good half a mile behind the Xat Square and stared, waiting for what he knew was to come. Then, after a moment, he came out. He was a very pale, very frail man, who walked with a soulless demeanor. Shin saw where he came out from, the edge of the colorless part of the forest.

 

The Kelp Forest.

 

Shin watched as people gathered around the frail person, and he began to spill his story to the members. Shin turned around and ran down the hill, and made a break for the forest.

 

= = =

 

Shin dashed through the trees, following the footprints through the forest. The forest grew steadily colder, but Shin knew that was because he was getting closer to them.  The trees grew thinner as Shin made his way through the forest. Eventually, Shin came to a stop at a clearing, filled with white lilies. He looked around and treaded lightly through the clearing. He didnt notice when six shadows on the ground rose up from behind him and formed into hooded individuals. He did, however, hear their shallow breathing. Shin whipped around and looked at them.

 

They were wearing dark red robes with hoods. All six were tall, and looked rather thin and frail. They looked at Shin, their breath clouds flowing from their mouths in the frigid air.

 

“Damn. Y’all are ugly as fuck.” Shin said, grinning. In an instant, the tallest hooded figure lashed out at Shin and had pinned him against a tree.

 

“Hey! Hold up! It was a joke!” Shin yelled. The hooded figure was close to Shin’s face. His face was completely black and devoid of any emotion except anger. It snarled at Shin.

 

“I know who you are. S Team.” The hooded figure growled at Shin. “I know you just sent that guy out to the Xat so that he could spill fake info to the members of SBC. I know everything you’re going to do.” A hooded figure that sat behind with the other four spoke.

 

“Behemoth…” He said in a low, icy voice. “Let him go. He is not of this time.” The Hooded figure looked at Shin and sneered before letting go of his neck. Shin fell down the tree and crashed into the lilies. He looked up at the hooded figures looking down on him.

 

“What do you want from usss…” One said. Shin stood up and wiped himself off.

 

“I’m from the future, as you probably guessed. I’m not here to mess anything up in time, I’m just here to make sure everything goes according to plan. I need to hack the Xat so I can jump back to my time. That’s it.”

 

The S Team looked at each other. One reached into its pocket and pulled out a key. It glowed and had blue Tron lines going down the side. He tossed it to Shin.

 

“That is the key we were going to use to hack the chat…..But you need it more than we do. Take it…..And leave…” The S Team member breathed. Shin stood up, nodded, and began to exit the clearing.

 

“One final thing, Shinya…..We are watching you. Always….Never forget that. We will have special eyes on you from now on……Our destinies are intertwined.”

 

Shin turned around, grimacing in mock terror before turning his back to the S Team and holding his middle finger up to them as he left the clearing.

 

= = =

 

Shin walked out of the forest and back into the Xat Square. He looked around, and saw a huge crowd gathered, again. He looked at the key in his hand and put it in his pocket. He walked into the crowd.

 

“Yo, that was freaky. Do you really think someone could hack SBC?” Ex said.

 

“No way,” hilaryfan80 said. “We’re way too protected for that. I’ve made sure of it.” People began to talk more loudly. Shin looked around and saw Jjs talking to Lunch Pail. He walked over.

 

“Hey Shin.” Jjs said. “Where’d you go? Did you see the guy that came here? And what he said about SBC and tvguy?”

 

“I heard about it. It sounded pretty crazy.” Shin said. He then saw his opportunity. “Did you reset the Xat when he came?”

 

“No.” Jjs said. “Why would I do that? I wouldn’t want to waste time going over to the Xat Box and activating the reset anyway.”

 

“I can’t even remember the last reset.” Shin said.

 

“I can, and it was weird.” Lunch Pail said. “It did set a lot of stuff right though, so there’s that. The fountain started squirting water again, stuff like that.” Shin looked at the Xat Box, standing right next to the Café.

 

“Maybe it’ll set me right, too.” Shin started to walk over to the Café, but stopped. ‘I can’t hack the Xat,’ Shin thought. He turned towards the crowd near the fountain, and saw Ex walking away from it. ‘Ex has to.’

 

Shin ran over to Ex and held up the key he had in his pocket.

 

“Yo, Zuna. I locked my sandwich in that box over there by the café. You mind unlocking it for me?”

 

“Sure, bro. Be right back.” Shin watched as Ex ran over to the box and put the key into it.

 

“EVERYONE! LOOK! EX IS HACKING THE XAT!” Shin screamed. Everyone in the Xat Square gasped and looked toward Ex, who looked on in shock. An alarm sounded. As Ex’s hand turned unknowingly in the keyhole and people began screaming and yelling and running around in confusion, Shin smiled. Everything began to go white.

 

“Reset, baby.”

 

= = =

 

Shin woke up. It was night, and he was back in the Patty Wagon. He looked at the passenger seat, and saw Jjs looking at him, irritated. Shin grinned. The reset had reset him back to right before Xat's period. 

 

“Finally. Are you done listening to that stupid song now?” Jjs asked. Shin smiled and tousled his hair.

 

“I’m ready, bro.” Shin revved up the Patty Wagon, but not before he looked at the forest. The small, colorless part of the Kelp Forest still remained. Shin squinted at it and began driving out of the Xat Square. He passed the café, and looked at the Xat Box.

 

The key wasn’t there anymore.

 

Shin suddenly heard a small jingle in his pocket and knew at once it was the key. He gulped.

 

“Hey, Jjs, do you remember last summer?” Shin asked.

 

“Yeah. It kinda sucked, to be honest. That fake S Team nonsense was so dumb.” Shin laughed nervously.

 

“Yeah, haha. It was.” But in the back of his mind, Shin knew the S Team wasn’t fake, or nonsense.

 

And far back in the forest, in the clearing of white lilies, six shadows rose again. Dark muttering and muted laughter were heard through the night air.

 

“He’s returned.” A voice said.

 

Shin and Jjs drove into the night, unaware that their journey was about to get a lot more hectic.

 

-End.

[Young Nug]

Episode 4: Molestor Motel

 

The Patty Wagon cruised down the countryside, under the night sky. Jjs’s head leaned against the door as Shin yawned and checked his watch. It was 11.

 

“Time to crash.” Shin muttered sleepily. In the darkness, he saw a sign. Shin slowed down to read it.

 

“In-Between Inn. For those In-Between moments! Coming up in 2 miles.”

 

“With a sexual slogan like that, how can I say no?” Shin said, and sped up.

 

= = =

 

The hotel was small and quaint, with yellow walls that looked cheap. Shin and Jjs stood groggily, waiting in the lobby. The lady at the reception desk stared at Shin and Jjs, smacking her gum.

 

“So, who are y’all?” She said in a southern drawl.

 

“I’m Shinya.” Shin said. He pointed at Jjs. “This is my friend Jjs.”

 

Jjs nodded to show he was half-there.

 

“Are you two from SBC?” She asked.

 

“Yeh.” Shin said.

 

Whoo-ee, how interesting!” The old lady hooted. “What’s it like there?”

 

“Yo, can you just give us our room?” Jjs asked, obviously not amused. The old lady glared at him before pulling a key card out of her drawer and handing it to Jjs, who promptly snatched it out of her hand.

 

“Thank you.” Jjs muttered.

 

“Your room is right down that hall, 3^rd on the right. Don’t get lost.” Shin looked at the lady incredulously before walking down the hall with Jjs.

 

“There’s another boy in there, so just be warned!” The old lady called down the hall. Shin yawned again and opened the door. The room was tiny. There was one window on the wall, and right below the window was a TV on a nightstand. Across from the nightstand, there was a bed, and sure enough, there was a boy in the bed watching TV.

 

“FUUUUUCK.” Jjs groaned.

 

“What?” Shin asked.

 

“It’s 1j1, the biggest, creepiest pedophile on SBC! We gotta get outta here. He’s a freak.” At this, 1j1 turned towards Jjs and Shin. He gasped.

 

“Jjs! My best pal! What is going on, man?” Jjs facepalmed.

 

“…Hey…Bro.” Jjs said half-heartedly.

 

“Not much! I just came to this hotel to unwind! Can’t believe we were lucky enough to be roommates, though! Isn’t that crazy?”

 

“Yeah…We’re so lucky.” As 1j1 turned around, Jjs turned to Shin and feigned hanging himself. Shin snickered.

 

“So, 1j1, where do we sleep?” Shin asked.

 

“Well,” 1j1 began, “this room kinda sucks. There’s only one bed and no kitchen. So I guess we all have to sleep in the same bed!”

 

Jjs looked like he was about to throw up as Shin crashed into the wall and started guffawing. After Shin recovered, he stood up and brushed himself off.

 

“Well, I brought my sleeping bag, so I’m good, I’ll sleep on the floor.”

 

“Do you have another one?” Jjs pleaded. Shin pulled his backpack off of his back and looked through. He gasped and smiled. Jjs looked up hopefully.

 

“Well, Jjs, as it turns out…. I don’t have another one. Guess you’ll have to sleep with 1j1! Sweet dreams!” Shin began unfolding his sleeping bag, laughing. Jjs looked at the floor, which looked dirty and grimy. Jjs glared at Shinya before looking back at the bed. 1j1 patted the mattress.

 

“Come on, Jjs! It’s nice and warm!”

 

= = =

 

Jjs slept on the far side of the bed, as far as he could get from 1j1. Every time 1j1 inched closer, Jjs kicked him in the stomach. Eventually, Jjs managed to get to sleep. However, around 5:32 AM, Jjs woke up. It was still dark outside. Jjs propped himself up on his arm and looked at the other side of the bed, expecting to see it covered in semen. However, it wasn’t. 1j1 wasn’t there. Jjs got up, walked over to the door, and kicked Shinya in the head. He jumped up in pain.

 

“What the hell?” Shin said, rubbing his head in pain.

 

“Good morning, sleepyhead. Did you see 1j1 leave?”

 

“Uhh….No. I did have a dream about this lion, though. It was so awesome, it like jumped from the ceiling and-“

 

“Shin, I don’t care. Let’s get out of here, find 1j1, and get to wherever we have to go next.”

 

Jjs and Shin packed up and walked out of the hotel, and into the parking lot.

 

“Yo, check out that Ice Cream van. That’s definitely his car. Let’s check in there.” Jjs said, pointing at a white van with an ice cream window and shittily drawn cartoon characters pasted all over. Jjs and Shin opened the doors at the back of the truck. Inside  there were a bunch of papers, and a computer sat on the floor. A diary was next to the computer.

 

“What the hell is this?” Shin said.

 

“Pedo central, definitely.” Jjs said. However, as he looked around, he saw a bunch of drawings of figures in red hoods. He didn’t get it. Shin, however, did. As he looked at the drawings, he began to hyperventilate.

 

“Jjs, let’s go.” Shun stuttered nervously.

 

“But we haven’t found 1j1 yet. Where’d he go?” Jjs asked.

 

“Who cares?” Shin asked. Jjs stared at Shinya.

 

“Good point.” Jjs said, as he hopped out of the car and opened the door of the Patty Wagon. Shin looked around at the parking lot, receded into the van, picked up the diary, and dashed out of the van and hopped into the Patty Wagon. He saw 1j1 coming out of the hotel holding a lollipop, and when he saw the diary, his eyes widened.

 

“HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!” 1j1 shouted.

 

“Hey, there’s 1j1!” Jjs shouted. Shin stomped the gas pedal as hard as he could, right as 1j1 jumped in front of the car.

 

There was a bump as the Patty Wagon flew out of the motel’s parking lot and into the street. Shin’s face was pale white and aghast, while Jjs’s was red from laughter.

 

“Dude, I just ran over 1j1.” Shin gasped.

 

“Correction: You just ran over a pedophile and saved a whole playground.” Jjs snickered. “Come on, man, buck up. It’ll be alright!” Shin breathed hard.

 

“Right…right..Next stop is Turntable, right?” Shin asked.

 

“I guess it is.” Jjs said.

 

The sun rose in the early morning sky as the sandwich flew down the road.

 

-End.

[Young Nug]

Episode 5: Turnin’ Up At Turntable

 

On the outskirts of SBC, past the countryside and closer to 4chan City, is the highly exclusive Turntable party club. The building was large and square, and a large line stretched outside of it. The door was guarded by two very large men in tuxedos. Shin and Jjs walked to the front of the line. Shin was adorned in a blazer with the numbers 4 and 20 sown on the side, and Jjs wore a black tuxedo and sunglasses with boat shoes.

The two stepped in front of the guards. They looked down.

 

“’Sup, fellas?” Shin said, strolling into the club’s doors. The guard held up a hand and pushed Shin back.

 

“Why the shoving, man?” Shin asked.

 

“Are you on the list?” The guard asked. Shin looked at the ground.

 

“Well, no..But-“

 

“But nothing. You’re not on the list, you don’t get in. Simple as that.” The guard stepped back. Shin and Jjs slumped back to the parking lot and leaned on the Patty Wagon.

 

“Well, that sucked.” Jjs said.

 

“I put on this awesome blazer for nothing!” Shin said. “How are we gonna get in there and get the Roblox key card from Docta now?”

 

“I guess we’ll just have to pray to God that we can break in.” Jjs said. Shin put his head down on the Patty Wagon and thought. He shot up.

 

“Jjs! Say that again!”

 

“I guess we’ll just have to pray to God that we can break in?” Jjs said, confused.

 

“God! That’s it!” Shin said. He began to whisper into Jjs’s ear.

 

= = =

 

The line to get into Turntable had gotten even longer, and the night was only getting older. Two figures swaggered past the line of internet users, and complaining could be heard from the entire line.

 

“Who do those two think they are?”

 

“Little bitches…”

 

“I’mma kill them.”

 

The two figures sauntered in front of the guards. One was a moderately short man, wearing a dark hoodie, blackish blue jeans, and a pair of basketball shoes. The other was a slightly tall man, with long brown hair, a beard, and a flowing white gown on. As the two walked in, the guard held up his hand.

 

“Sorry. You can’t get in unless you’re on the list.”

 

The man in the gown smiled and bowed, but the man in the hoodie just stood for a bit. His face wasn’t visible under the hood, and then he pulled it down.

 

Kanye West stood in front of the two guards, glaring at them with a look of pure disgust on his face.

 

“…Did you say what I think you just said?” Kanye said in his angrily effeminate voice.

 

“Uh…” A guard muttered.

 

“HAAH?” Kanye snarled. “What was that?”

 

“Sorry sir, but we can’t let you in here-“

 

Kanye slapped the guard in the face in the middle of his sentence. He started screaming.

 

“BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME, MOTHERFUCKER?!” The guard was taken aback and stepped back against the wall.

“Sir, we can’t let you in if you aren’t on the list-“ Kanye slapped the guard again.

 

“MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I AM FUCKING KANYE WEST! I AM ON EVERY LIST IN THE MOTHERFUCKING UNIVERSE! DO YOU SEE WHO IS WITH ME, YOU PIECE OF SHIT?!”

 

Kanye pointed at the man with the gown on.

 

“THIS IS JESUS! JESUS! MUTHAFUCKA! I WENT TO HEAVEN AND I GOT FUCKING JESUS TO COME DOWN TO PARTY AND FUCK BITCHES WITH ME! NOW, CHECK THAT FUCKING LIST AND TELL ME I AIN’T ON IT. AIGHT? HAAAH?”

 

The guards looked at each other and nonverbally decided it would be in their best interest if they let Kanye and Jesus into the club. They unhooked the barricade and stood back.

 

“Welcome to Turntable, sir.” A guard said. Kanye nodded briskly, tapped Jesus on the shoulder, and pointed at the club. Jesus smiled and walked in. Kanye put his hood back up, leaned back at a 45 degree angle, and walked zig-zag style into the club, his shoulders slumping up and down as he went.

 

“You see this shit? Even my WALK is innovative.” Kanye snarled. He walked in and the doors closed behind him. It was uncomfortable silent in the cold night air for a minute. The guard on the right rubbed his face.

 

“That Kanye slap really hurt, dude.” He said.

 

“I feel your pain.” The other guard said. Just then, Kanye busted back through the doors. He slapped the guard in the face again, before strolling back in the club.

 

“I AM A GOD.” He said, before the doors closed.

 

= = =

 

Kanye and Jesus entered Turntable’s bathroom in the back, moving past all the dancing people and trying not to listen to the club music. Kanye looked at Jesus, smirked, and put his face to the sink.He splashed water on his face, and slowly, the brown pigment dripped off his face, revealing a grinning Asian underneath. Shinya laughed.

 

“That was a pretty great Kanye impression, haah, Jayman?” Shin asked. Jjs smiled, nodded, and began taking off his Jesus costume.

 

“I can’t believe that worked,” Jjs said, as he and Shin walked out of the clean bathroom and back into the club. Heavy music blasted through radios set up all over the club as strobe lights flashed all around the crowd, although the room was lit darkly green. Past all the partying, at the front sat 5 DJs with headphones, playing music on their computers. Shin squinted, and on the far right, he spotted Dr. Sex, jamming to his music. Shin and Jjs partied and danced past all the people, eventually making their way to the stage. Shin tapped Sex on the shoulder. Sex whipped around and slammed Shin against the wall, but when he saw who it was, he smiled and let up. Shin brushed himself off.

 

“Sorry about that, Shin, these places are crazy, you know-“

 

“Give me the Roblox Key now.” Shin spat.

 

“Alright, man, just calm down.” Sex reached into his pocket and pulled out the key. Shin snatched it from Sex, glaring.

 

Shin walked over to Trophy, and whispered something into his ear. Trophy nodded, and pressed a button on his computer. As Jjs and Shin left, PSY’s horrible music began to blast all throughout the club. Shin smiled  as all the people in the crowd fell to the ground and began convulsing due to the horrible music. Shin and Jjs walked out of Turntable, and the two guards looked at them incredulously.

 

Jjs and Shin hopped in the Patty Wagon and sped off. Jjs pulled out the map, and Shin pulled onto the highway.

 

“Alright, Shin, next stop is Roblox. Up here, take a right…”

 

= = =

 

It was on the outskirts of a burned forest. A huge dome, but after almost a whole year of abandonment and no usage, it was fogged up and couldn’t be seen through. The dome was gigantic, to the point where Jjs and Shin looked like dots compared to it. Leaving the Patty Wagon far behind them on the road, they walked over burnt grass and dead trees. The sky was gray.

 

“Man, I remember the times we used to have here,” Jjs said, feeling nostalgic. “Fighting people and stuff was so much fun. Until the glitches ruined it.” Shin grumbled, looking at his torn jacket.

 

“Never really did the Roblox thing. The one time I came, my jacket got ripped. I hate this place, to be honest.”

 

“hilaryfan80 still worked on this place after it was finished, you know.” Jjs said. “He eventually stopped, but I wonder what he did after everyone was gone.”

 

“We’re not gonna be able to see, are we? It’s gonna be dark in there, without hilaryfan80 to turn the stadium on.”

 

“Oh, yeah. Guess not.”

 

The two walked in silence for a minute. They walked up right next to the entrance. It was a large door with a turning mechanism, similar to the one on Sandy’s treedome. There was a small slot for a key underneath the turning wheel. Shin turned to Jjs.

 

“Got the Ray Gun?” He asked. Jjs held it up.

 

“Check.”

 

“Key Card?”

 

“Check-a-rooni.”

 

“Then let’s go in.” Shin took the key card, put it in the slot, and turned the wheel. The door flew open, hitting Shin with such force that he was shot into a tree several feet away. Jjs fell to the ground, laughing incredibly hard, when something buzzed in his pocket. He pulled out his phone, and answered.

 

“Hello?” Jjs said, recovering from laughing.

 

“Hey Jjs.” It was SG’s voice. It sounded slightly worried.

 

“What’s up, SG?”

 

“Nothing. You guys at Roblox yet? According to my calculations, you should be there, considering the weighted mass of the patty wagon and the trajectory of the angle at which you left-“

 

“Hold up, I’m gonna need my SG Dictionary.” Jjs said, smiling.

 

“Ha ha, very funny. So, you guys are at Roblox?”

 

“Yeah. You’ve never explained what we’re actually supposed to do here.”

 

“I was getting to that. You guys need to get to the center of the stadium and get the teleporter. It’ll be able to transport you to SBM, but only when it’s used at a certain place. It’s essential to your mission.”

 

“Alright, stadium center. Got it.”

 

“Be careful, Jjs. We don’t know what hilaryfan80 did in there, and it could be dangerous. Also, just be careful in general. Things have been weird back here at SBC. Bye Jjs.”

 

“Wait, what do you mean-“ But the line went dead. Shin stumbled back over to Jjs.

 

“Yo. You ready to go?” Jjs asked. Shin nodded dazedly, looked at the door, and tousled Jjs’s hair, smiling. Jjs gripped his backpack and he and Shin entered the stadium. 

 

They entered through a long corridor and came to a split hallway, one going left, the other going right. Shin looked into the left one, seeing how deep it was.

 

“STADIUM STATUS!” Shin yelled, grinning when he heard the echo.

 

“Alright, we should stay together, Shin. I know Roblox a lot better than you do, so I should be able to navigate.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Suddenly, a huge crack emitted from the ground, a rumble, a boom, and then a stockpile of rocks came from the ceiling and crashed, right between Shin and Jjs.

 

“Shin!” Jjs yelled in fear, punching the rocks. “Can you hear me?”

 

“I can hear you, buddy! Don’t mean to sound like Fred Jones, but it looks like we have to split up. We can try to meet each other deeper in the stadium, maybe?”

 

“…I guess. But now I’ll have to go through myself!”

 

“Same here. But it’ll be okay. See you on the other side, Jayman.” Jjs heard the sound of Shin’s footsteps get quieter and quieter until he couldn’t hear them anymore. Jjs turned around and faced the dark tunnel before him. He took a deep breath and looked with sad eyes towards the rocks, before walking into the darkness.

 

Jjs was alone. And he was very afraid.

 

= = =

 

Back out near the burnt forest, six hooded figures stood tall against the countryside and the grey sky. 1j1 stood next to them, eyes narrowed. 

 

"Did the rockssss fall...." A hooded figure hissed.

 

"I heard em'." 1j1 said, sounding very unenthusiastic. 

 

"Good....Good...Ciberus. Presss the button."

 

A hooded figure pulled a button from his cloaked robe. He pressed the button. Even though they were almost a whole mile away, they saw the dome, through the fog, light up with a million little lights. Small, wet grins creeped across the six's cold faces. 1j1 grinned the widest.

 

"And so it begins." 

 

-Fin.

 

Next time: ROBLOX Begins.

 

I might have the next part up within the week this time : D

[Young Nug]

Episode 6: ROBLOX Begins

A million lights flashed.

Jjs threw up his arms to block the light, but it still shone through. Jjs sight was blurred for a moment, but when it cleared up, he saw the stadium illuminated, and his mouth dropped open. The stadium was exactly like a real football stadium, with rows upon rows of stairs and chairs around. In the middle, instead of a field, there was nothing, only a void that looked like the sky. Jjs looked around the huge, well-lit stadium as he stepped down the stairs.

Suddenly, a giant hologram of hilaryfan80 in all his redheaded glory appeared over the empty field space.

“Hello!” The giant hilaryfan80 yelled, his voice vibrating the entire stadium. Jjs covered his ears. “Welcome to ROBLOX! We’re under construction right now, but you can come back later for a whole bunch of fun!” The hologram warped away. Jjs uncovered his ears, muttered, and continued his descent down the stairs. He heard a human noise, and he immediately whipped around, ray gun pointed and ready to shoot.

However, when Jjs saw who made the noise, he put down the gun in an odd mix of confusion, elation, and irritation.
JCM sat in the stadium stands with a bag of popcorn, clapping.

“Haha, alright! Do it again, hilaryfan80! Oh, man, that was so great!” He called.

“JCM!” Jjs called. JCM turned around.

“Hey Jjs!” JCM yelled. He waved Jjs over. Jjs ran over into the stands. He was happy to have a companion, even if it was JCM.

“Why are you in here, JCM?” Jjs asked, coming to a stop.

“Well, after the last Roblox game, they left me here, and it was pretty cool, so I stayed.”

“JCM, the last game was almost a whole year ago.”

“Yes.” There was an awkward silence as Jjs looked at the ground and JCM smiled at nothing in particular.

“So,” JCM asked, breaking the silence, “What brings you here to the stadium?”

“I’m on a mission to get Spin-Offs out of the Doody Era. Me and Shin have to get to SBM with the best written spin-off ever. But to teleport there, we’ve gotta get the teleporter from the center of the stadium."

“Oooh. That might be a problem.” Said JCM.

“Why?”

JCM began walking down the steps, and Jjs followed. They got to the railing, and JCM pointed. Jjs looked into the empty space that was the stadium and gasped.

Many floating islands revolved in the empty space, all revolving around one island. Jjs could tell what it was, even from about a mile’s distance away. It was the island where the Good Noodles used to fight the Krusty Krushers. But something was wrong. The huge treehouse on the GN side had toppled over and crashed through the wall separating the two teams. The tree looked dead and grey. There was other debris, but Jjs couldn’t identify it.

“Alright, JCM, how are we gonna get down there?”

“I can’t go down there! There could be germs!” JCM said, recoiling.

“I’ll buy you a sandwich afterwards.” Jjs said dryly.

“Darn you, Jjs. How am I supposed to say no to an offer like that?” JCM pulled a parachute out of his backpack and handed it to Jjs.

“Why’d you have this?” Jjs asked JCM, pulling the parachute straps over his back.

“We all have needs sometimes, Jjs. My need is for parachutes.”

“Alrighty then…”

Jjs climbed up the railing and stood on the edge, looking at the large expanse of space and islands below him.

“One misstep, and you’re stuck floating in that void forever.” JCM said, looking over the rail. Jjs shot him a dirty look. JCM shrugged.

“Just saying. Oh, speaking of saying, who are those people up there?” JCM pointed up the stairs. Jjs turned around and froze.

At the top of the stairs, coming out of the stadium entrance hall, were six figures in long red hoods. The silence in the stadium was palpable. Jjs’s feet wobbled on the railing. The six hooded figures stared Jjs down, breathing raggedly. JCM looked back and forth, confused.

 

In an instant, one hooded figure forced his hand outward, and a rushing shot of dark energy shot out of his palm. Jjs grabbed JCM’s arm, pulled him over the railing, and leaped off into the void. Air rushed through Jjs’s face, and he pulled the strap on the parachute bag with his free hand. The sheet shot out of the bag and cascaded open, pulling Jjs and JCM upwards for a moment, before letting them settle and slowly flutter downwards. Jjs began laughing.

“We’re in the clear!” He said.

Just then, hilaryfan80’s hologram appeared over the field again. From the view below, Jjs could see that the hologram was generated from 3 points on the wall of the stadium. hilaryfan80’s voice rattled the stadium.

“I HAVE ASKED YOU TO LEAVE. IF YOU DO NOT OBEY THESE ACTIONS, YOU COULD SUFFER DIRE CONSEQUENCES. LISTEN TO ME.” A laser shot out from above and Jjs’s parachute was hit and subsequently disintegrated.

 

Jjs and JCM began screaming as they plummeted towards a jungle looking island. The two fell into the treetop canopy, bouncing from palm tree leaf to palm tree leaf, before falling to the ground with a sickening crunch. After a few minutes of pain, Jjs tried to stand. He stumbled to his feet and looked around.

Foliage. Foliage was everywhere. Leaves and trees and the humid air all combined to create a setting that was mostly green. Looking at the ground, Jjs saw it was covered in bugs and other gross vegetation. He quickly jumped up and looked around for JCM. When he saw JCM nowhere around, Jjs clambered the nearest tree.

At the top of the tree, Jjs could see the entire forest before him, but more importantly, Jjs could see the void and the other islands, and further in the distance of the void, the center of Roblox, the battlegrounds. A faint glow emitted from the island. Jjs’s view was interrupted when a tall figure rose up and covered the island.

It was the hooded creature that had shot at him earlier, drifting slowly in the blue void. It lifted up a hand.

And there was JCM, struggling against his grip.

“Jjs! Help me!” JCM screamed. “What if they take away my blackness? I’m nothing without my blackness!”

The hooded figure pulled down his hood, revealing a dark blue face that was unnaturally pudgy, but looked old and dead. It was wrinkled, and the eyes had no sparkle. They were black. The thing laughed a cold, icy laugh, and it imploded into thin air, taking JCM with him. Jjs was frozen to the top of the tree, staring at the space where the hooded thing had just been.

Eventually, Jjs regained feeling and slid down the tree, returning to the green forest. He walked through it slowly, feeling dead inside. As Jjs moved vines and hopped over logs, the trees grew less thick and less frequent, and the sun entered the forest through the gaps in the trees.

Before Jjs knew it, he had arrived at the edge of the forest island. He looked at the sky-blue void, and directly below him was a large green box with a glass one on top. Jjs slowly realized that this was the Christmas Tournament room. He also realized that the jump could kill him. He sat down.

“So….Today, Ive lost my partner in crime, a parachute, and JCM. Not a good way to begin a Friday.” Jjs looked at the island far below again. It looked almost tiny from up here. Jjs stood up, took a deep breath, and began walking back a few feet into the forest. Then, he stopped, and turned around.

“Guess I don’t have anything else to lose.”

Jjs broke into a run, rushing across the squishy ground. One foot before he reached the edge, Jjs took a flying leap off of it and pulled straight down, headfirst. Wind rushed through his ears, and Jjs closed his eyes, feeling the wind get higher and higher pitched. Jjs had spent a full minute shooting through the air when he felt his body crash through the glass at 90 miles per hour and slam straight into the plastic, lego-like ground. Jjs felt the incredible pain and wondered if he was dead or alive for a moment.

“Welcome!” hilaryfan80’s automated voice said. “You have reached the secret area!” Through the pain, Jjs smiled. He was definitely alive.

Fin.-

Next time: The Snark Knight

[Ron]

lol "palpable" 

[Clappy]

You fiend. You said I was going to appear in the next installment of Doody.

#bullshrimp

[Young Nug]

Episode 7: ROBLOX Begins, Part 2: The Snark Knight

 

Shin stood in the middle of the snowy ground, holding himself together, teeth chattering.

 

“I fucking hate being cold.” Shin said inbetween teeth chatters. He stomped through the snow, looking around at the huge, open world. An ice fortress was to his right, and to his left stood a giant treehouse. Shin stared at it for a minute, and then shrugged and began running over towards it. As he ran, he thought about Jjs. He stopped running.

 

“Wow.” Shin said out loud to himself. “Jjs is alone, with no one to help him fight off the weird shit in this arena.” He looked at the ground, feeling…sadness?

 

“Man, what am I doing?” Shin laughed. “Jjs is a 16 year old kid I don’t even know that well. What do I care?” But as Shin began to walk again, he felt something non-physical in his heart hurt. He didn’t want to admit it, but he missed Jjs.

 

He was about to step onto the base of the treehouse, when he heard the crunch of snow behind him. He turned, and when he saw what made the crunch, he frowned deeply.

 

“You fucks again?” He asked incredulously. The six hooded figures just floated, saying nothing. Shin looked at them, pissed off.

 

“Don’t you guys have girlfriends or something? Six little girls in pink hoods or something? You could really use some.”

 

“Did someone say little girls?” 1j1 stepped out from behind the S Team. Shin facepalmed.

 

“Yo, didn’t I kill you the other day? Why are you here?”

 

“Give me back my diary, Shin.” 1j1 said. His voice was dark and angry. Shin turned white.

 

“Yeah, you know you’ve got it. I want it back.” Shin’s eyes darted back and forth between the Ice Fortress, the treehouse, and the entrance to the Roblox Mall behind him. Shin began breaking down the options in his mind. He had always been good with probability.

 

‘Alright,’ he thought, ‘If I head into the Ice Fortress, I can find some weapons, but that’s not enough to fend off all six of the S Team and a pedo. Plus, it’s a dead end. That’s out.’ Shin looked at the mall.

 

‘If I go to the mall, it’d be a long chase, and I’d get caught up in the hide and seek areas….Then it’d just be a game of waiting until they found me. That’s out.’ Shin turned to the treehouse, his final option.

 

‘I can climb up the treehouse, sure…But when I get to the top…Then what?’ Shin saw 1j1 make a move, and in an instant, he decided. He dashed up the steps of the treehouse deck and ran inside, and up the taller steps. A hooded figure laughed.

 

“So be it.” He whispered. The six dashed up the tree, in hot pursuit.

 

= = =

 

Jjs walked around the tiny red arena, reminiscing. He came upon the hiding spot countless people used to hide from random attacks. Running his hand across the wall, his feet crunching against the snow, Jjs walked around the small, square arena. After a while, he sat down in the snow and put his head against a wall.

 

“How am I gonna find JCM?” Jjs said out loud to no one in particular. “And how am I gonna find Shin? He made this so much easier… How am I gonna survive here….In this void?” He looked at the hole he had made in the ceiling to escape the secret room, and he looked past the secret room into the jagged edges of what remained of the secret room’s ceiling. Jjs got down on his knees. The arena was darker than normal, with the light from the ceiling being the main light source, shining down on Jjs. He looked up into it.

 

“…I…I don’t have the answers. Please. Someone, something. Tell me what to do.”

The room was silent for a moment.

 

But once Jjs saw a 200 foot tree falling from the air at about 200 miles per hour, the room was ripe with his screams.

 

= = =

 

A few minutes before, though, Shin was running up the steps that wrapped around the giant treehouse, trying as hard as he could not to look down. He could feel the S Team floating quickly a ways behind him, but he payed them no mind and sped up. Shin reached the edge of the steps quicker than he expected, and he nearly slipped over them, but he grabbed the ladder just as his feet flew off the steps. Shin made a mad dash up the ladder, his boat shoes slipping on the rungs. Shin took a chance and glanced down at the ground below.

 

Nearly 100 feet down was what looked like a tiny square, in a never ending void filled with a bunch of other little tiny squares. Shin wanted to vomit, but he continued to climb up the ladder. He got up to the higher deck of the treehouse, and pulled himself up to it, but when he stood up, he saw the six members of the S Team and 1j1, standing on the deck. 1j1’s grin was one of wicked happiness. He held out his hand.

 

“Nowhere to go, Shin. Give me the diary.” 1j1 sneered. Shin breathed hard. There was no way he could dash past them. There was no going back down. He was stuck.

 

“…Why do you even want the diary?” Shin asked, trying to stall.

 

“It’s got important things I need. That we need,” 1j1 said, motioning to himself and the six floating figures behind him. “My pals and I have big plans for SBC, who should be running it, y’know?” Shin raised an eyebrow.

 

“Nuggets is running SBC fine.” Shin said cautiously.

 

“So a bunch of failed events and banning people for fun is ‘fine’, huh?” 1j1 asked, a hint of anger in his voice.  Shin stared at 1j1 and shrugged.

 

“Listen, Shin, I don’t want to debate this. Give me the diary or we’ll kill you….And JCM while we’re at it.”

 

“You’ve got JCM?” Shin asked, taken aback. 1j1 snapped his fingers, and JCM poofed out of thin air. He waved at Shin.

 

“Hey, Shinya. What’s going on?”

 

“Uhh….What it do, JCM?”

 

“Aw, I expected you to end that with ‘Baby Boo’. Oh well. Well, I got kidnapped-“

 

“Shut up, JCM.” 1j1 said dryly.

 

“’Kay.” JCM said, smiling. Shin looked at 1j1 and the S Team, then back to JCM. 1j1 pushed a hand outwards, and JCM levitated over the edge and hovered over the huge expanse of the void that was Roblox. Shin gasped.

 

“How’d you—“

 

“They taught me some of their psychokinetic powers, y’know? It’s cool. I haven’t got all of them down, though. Now, hand over the diary, or JCM falls. And then you’re next.”

 

“Shin, it’s cool if you let me fall, actually. I’ve always wanted to skydive!” JCM said.

 

Shin ignored JCM and thought about all his possible scenarios for survival. His blood went cold when he realized.

 

There were none.

 

He would have to hand over the diary, give them the secrets to possibly destroying SBC. He slowly reached into his bag, and pulled out the diary. He walked over to 1j1, defeated.

 

“I knew you’d come around, buddy!” 1j1 laughed, holding out his hand. Shin stopped an arm’s length away from 1j1.

 

“You need this diary to destroy or do whatever it is you want to do to SBC, right?” Shin asked.

 

“You got it, pal.”

 

“Alright then.” Shin flipped open the diary, and furiously began tearing out pages and stuffing them into his mouth. 1j1 screamed.

 

“STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Shin continued to eat the pages of the diary at an incredible speed. 1j1 ran over to Shin, preparing a punch, but Shin ducked under 1j1, stuck his foot out, and 1j1 fell flat on his face. Shin stood up. He looked at 1j1, laying in a crumpled heap on the wooden deck, quivering. Shin kicked at 1j1, and the quivering stopped. His body started receding, and then—

1j1 leaped out of the heap, lashing out at Shin in anger. A gigantic wave of dark green energy shot out of 1j1’s hands, and Shin managed to duck just in time. Shin turned to 1j1, grinning smugly, but he turned to see 1j1’s face, in an expression of pure horror.

 

“…Oh no….Oh no, man….” 1j1 said, holding his head.

 

“What?” Shin asked, an edge of panic in his voice.

 

“…That was my psychokinetic boomerang skill.”

 

“So?” 1j1 pointed towards the brush of leaves that was above the deck, hanging over the S Team, Shin, 1j1, and JCM, who had levitated back over the deck. Shin held in his breath. The brush was almost completely destroyed, a sparse few leaves hanging.

 

“If it did that much damage going forward….What’s it gonna do coming back?” Shin asked in terror. He looked over the balcony of the deck into the abyss of Roblox, and he saw the dark green energy wave coming back towards him.

 

Back towards the tree.

 

1j1 knew there was little time. He dashed over to Shin and lobbed a punch straight into his jaw. Shin was knocked back, but not over, by the blow. 1j1 grabbed at the diary, but Shin didn’t let go.m

 

“LET GO, YOU STUPID FUCK!” 1j1 yelled. “YOU’RE TRYING TO STOP OUR REVOLUTION! OUR TROLL REVOLUTION!” Shin wrenched the diary away.

 

“…What?” Shin asked, aghast. 1j1’s eyes darted around, at the other members of the S Team. There was a huge crash, and the deck shook. JCM dropped to the floor. 1j1’s eyes met with Shinya’s.

 

“..Nothing. Bye.” 1j1 and the S Team disappeared, literally popped out of thin air. Shin knew the psychokinetic boomerang had sliced through the tree, and he felt the tree falling towards the void. He grabbed onto the balcony as the tree started creaking and falling through the blue sky.

 

“shitshitshitshit” Shin whispered. He looked over at JCM, who had his hands up, with his feet hooked onto the balcony.

 

“Yay!” JCM yelled. “Rollercoaster tree!”

 

Shin sighed.

 

= = =

 

The Present-

 

Jjs coughed. The tree had completely smashed the arena walls, dividing the tiny square in half, and in the middle laid a gigantic tree. In the clearing of the smoke and dust, Jjs spotted two figures coming towards him. He fumbled his hands to his bag for his ray gun, and he whipped it out and took aim, but when he saw who was coming, his hands fell.

 

JCM and Shin’s feet crunched in the snow. JCM continued walking happily into a wall, but when Shin saw Jjs, he stopped. Jjs took a sharp intake of breath. Shin ran over to Jjs and hugged him, lifting him off the ground. Jjs laughed and Shin grinned.

 

“What it do, baby boo?” Shin asked, glad to have his pal back.

 

“Hey!” JCM said to Shin, as he made a snow angel. “You didn’t say that to me when you saw me!”

 

Shin pulled Jjs’s ray gun from Jjs’s hands and shot JCM with it.

 

“OWW!!” JCM yelled. “You could’ve killed me!”

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t.” Shin said, grinning. Everything was finally getting back to normal. Or, as normal as it can be when  a Korean, a black guy, and a white guy are all in an internet gaming arena that a giant tree has crashed through, anyway.

 

-Fin.

[Young Nug]

Episode 8: ROBLOX Begins, Part 3: The Snark Knight Rises

 

“Alright, so how are we gonna get out of here?” Jjs asked.

 

“Um.” Shin said. Looking around the red, square arena, there was nothing to help them get out. He rubbed his head.

 

“Yeah, I dunno.” Jjs and Shin looked over the right at JCM, who was staring at the tree that destroyed the arena and lay in the middle of it, intently.

 

“JCM, what are you doing?” Shin asked.

 

“There’s something inside of this tree.” JCM said definitively. Shin and Jjs rolled their eyes.

 

“Cool, man.” Jjs said. He looked up at the gaping hole that was the ceiling.

 

“I think I’mma check it out up there, see what I can find.” Shin said. He turned around, picked up Jjs’s ray gun, and began climbing a tall, blocky ladder that led to the edge of the hole.  Shin climbed to the top and stood on top of a small part of what remained of the top of the arena. He looked around at the blue void with several other square locales floating above and below him. Shin walked across the perimeter of the arena’s top, looking out at the void.

 

“hilaryfan80 building this…Musta took a lot,” Shin mused to himself, “But damn if it isn’t freaky. How’re we supposed to get out of here? And where’s the center of this place? SG left those instructions so vague-“

 

The sky, all at once, became a deep shade of red. A screen warped out of thin air, right in front of the arena. hilaryfan80’s face adorned the screen, but his eyes were red and he looked very angry.

 

“I HAVE ASKED YOU TO LEAVE THE ARENA. YOU HAVE NOT COMPLIED. ROBLOX IS GOING INTO DESTRUCTION MODE. LEAVE NOW!”

 

A burst of red light exploded from the spot where the screen imploded and the force was so much that it knocked Shin backwards and into the hole. The ray gun fell out of Shin’s hand and Shin looked down.

 

He was plummeting straight towards the giant tree.

 

He braced himself for the hard thunk of his back hitting the tree, but when his body did touchdown, it wasn’t on the tree. Shin landed on the gun, and he heard the crunching of technology.

 

Oh, and his back.

 

Shin sat up in pain, rubbing his head, amazed nothing was broken. He looked down at the ground of the square arena. Jjs and JCM were screaming at him. What were they saying? “Red crown? Dead clown?” When it occurred to Shin what they were saying, it was much, much too late. Shin didn’t even hear the beeping of the gun, and he certainly didn’t understand the cries of

“Get down”.

 

The gun exploded, unleashing another huge burst of energy. Shin was thrown from the tree to the wall of the arena with a thwoosh, and he crashed into the wall at full force. He fell onto the snowy ground and looked up. JCM and Jjs were staring at the center of the arena, looking at the tree. The center of the tree was completely blown open. And on the inside, it glowed.

 

JCM was right. The teleporter was in the center of the blown open tree.

 

= = =

 

Shin tapped the device with his foot curiously.

 

“So this’ll get us to SpongeBuddy Mania, right?” Shin asked. Jjs looked at him.

 

“Uhh…I’m not so sure. It glowed for a few seconds, but look at it now. It’s totally grey. I don’t think it works anymore.”

Shin eyed the circular pad. On the outer layer of the pad was a metal ring that skewed downward, like a very small ramp. The arena rumbled. Jjs sighed.

 

“We really need to get out of here. Those hooded freaks could come back.” Shin looked at Jjs.

 

“You saw the S Team too?” Jjs nodded slowly.

 

“S Team? The hooded guys? Yeah, after we got separated, I found JCM, and the S Team kidnapped him. You ran into ‘em?”

 

“Yeah…1j1 was with them. They tried to get the diary I took from him.”

 

“Maybe you should check what’s in the diary. That could help us get out.” JCM said. Shin turned to him.

 

“JCM, when did you decide to get smart?” JCM shrugged. Shin opened the diary and flipped through the pages. On some pages were detailed schematics of certain avenues and streets in SBC. Others were detailed schematics of Roblox squares. Others were drawings of the transporter, and a pair of hoverboards, for some strange reason. On the next page, the word “stomp” was written, but the rest of the page was torn.

 

“What happened to this page?” Jjs asked. Shin patted his belly.

 

“I kinda had to eat a few pages to save SBC, heh.” Jjs looked at Shin with a pissed look before turning back to the book.

 

“Well, what’s stomp supposed to mean?” The two heard a stomp from behind them. They turned and saw JCM lift his foot off of the transporter. The transporter began glowing again.

 

“JCM, you are just killin’ it today, man.” Shin said, clapping him on the shoulder. The transporter glowed brighter, and then, the circle expanded horizontally. Then, it doubled. The teleporter was no longer a teleporter- it was two hoverboards.

 

“Wha-“ Shin said.

 

Just then, hilaryfan80’s voice rocked the arena again, amplified a million times over. It was shrill and shrieky.

 

“I ASKED YOU INTRUDERS TO LEAVE. YOU HAVEN’T. SELF DESTRUCT MODE HAS BEEN ACTIVATED TO CLEANSE THE DOME OF THE EVIL WITHIN. TEN MINUTES UNTIL THE AIR SPONTANEOUSLY CATCHES FLAME. TEN MINUTES AND 59 SECONDS. TEN MINUTES AND 58 SECONDS…”

 

Shin, Jjs, and JCM all looked at each other. However the hoverboard came to be didn’t matter- they had to get out of there. JCM hopped on a hoverboard, Jjs hopped on behind him, and Shin took the other board in his hand.

 

“JCM, Jjs, get outta here! I have something to do.”

 

“What?” Jjs yelled.

 

“Go, bro!” Shin screamed. A loud red siren began sounding off throughout the large Roblox dome.

 

“How do we work this thing?” JCM asked.

 

“Uh..Try thinking!”

 

“That’s not one of my strong suits, but alright!” JCM said, and the board rose into the air, true to form. Shin watched as Jjs and JCM flew through the hole of the arena and into the distance. Shin looked around the arena, looking for anything metal he could use. He eventually ended up using the remains of the destroyed ray gun, and molded the metal around the front of his board, acting as a ram. Shin stepped back, looked at his altered creation, and grinned. He hopped on the board.

 

“Alright, so…How does this work?” Shin said to himself. “Do I just think ‘fly’, and will it-“ The board lurched upward and began levitating. Shin thought he’d fall, but his feet stuck to the board as if by magic. Shin laughed.

 

“Alright, this is pimpin’!” He said, as he hovered into the air and out of the arena.

 

Shin thought, ‘Faster.’, and the hoverboard went faster. ‘Even faster!’ Shin thought, and the board shot higher in the sky at a faster rate. Wind rushed through Shin’s hair as it flapped downward. Shin smiled and thought one last thought.

 

‘As fast as you can fucking go, man.’

 

A huge boom sounded out as Shin broke the sound barrier and shot even faster into the red sky, as hilaryfan80 continued to count

down.

 

5 minutes.

 

= = =

 

JCM and Jjs were in the Arena’s entrance hallway, pushing on the rocks as hard as they could. After a few minutes of pounding, they sat down, exhausted. Jjs looked at JCM.

 

“What are we gonna do?”

 

“Die?” JCM asked.

 

“Are you normal JCM again?”

 

“What’s JCM.” JCM asked.

 

“Shit,” Jjs said, and he slammed his head against a rock.

 

“Jjs, you shouldn’t slam your head on rocks, you could get brain damage! Or amnesia! That’s what happened to me. At least, I think it was…”

 

Jjs looked up at the dark ceiling.

 

“Why, God? Why me?”

 

Suddenly, Jjs heard a light rustling in the hallway. He turned towards it.

 

“Shin-?” He wondered aloud. But it wasn’t Shin. It did, however start with an S. The S Team floated down the hall, 1j1 leading them as they stepped out of the shadows. 1j1 looked very battered, from what Jjs could see, but it was very dark.

 

“Shin is dead, Jjs.” Jjs froze.

 

“No.”

 

“Yeah. And now we’re gonna kill you too.” Jjs noticed, in the background, a faint green glow growing larger and larger. He almost wondered if it was an illusion. 1j1 whipped out a knife with a picture of Jelly Otter on the handle and flicked out the blade.

 

“Say, goodbye, buddy.” 1j1 leered.  The green glow was unmistakable now- It was definitely real. 1j1 and the S Team noticed it too.

 

“Huh-“ 1j1 muttered. But he was interrupted by the cockiest yell he had ever heard in his life.

 

“’SUP, BITCHES?” Shin came speeding  down the hall on his hoverboard with his arms stretched to the side. He clocked two S Team-ers in the face and leaped off the board at the last second. The board, with its hardened metal end acting a ram, rushed ahead into the rocks, diminishing them to rubble.  Jjs and JCM gaped at the hole that had opened in the rocks, and looked back at 1j1 and the S Team, floating in disarray, all discombobulated. Shin stood in the midst of it, grinning.

 

“Run.” He said simply, and JCM and Jjs followed suit. The three friends rushed out of the arena and back into the grey day, jumping and laughing for joy. Jjs leaped in the air.

 

“It feels so new and fresh!” He yelled.

 

“Haha, yes!” Shin laughed.

 

“Wow, the air sure was denser back in the arena!” JCM noted. Shin and Jjs looked back at JCM with scowls on their faces for a minute before returning to their frolicking through the large plain filled with dead trees and grey grass. Jjs took one last look at the arena. And saw 1j1 and the hooded ones stumbling out of it.

 

“HA!” Jjs shouted, “SBC, ONE, S TEAM, NADA!”

 

1j1 looked at Jjs, then immediately ran back into the stadium with the rest of the S Team.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Jjs!” Jjs looked over at the call. Shin was in the Patty Wagon with JCM, waving him over. Jjs bounded across the last few feet of dead grass blowing into the wind, leaped over the door, and landed in the backseat. He hit Shin on the shoulder.

 

“Dude, making your hoverboard a ram was genius!” Shin smiled and turned his key into the ignition, stomped the gas pedal, and sped into the distance, far, far away from Roblox.

 

 = = =

 

The hill was just far away enough from the arena that they wouldn’t be affected by the blast, but close enough that Shin and his group could see the explosion from within, see how the red, yellow and black smoke billowed inside the transparent dome and eventually forced its way through the dome, melting the hard plastic and escaping into the world. Shin turned to Jjs.

 

“And you said you saw them go in there?”

 

“Definitely.”

 

“But why? They knew the place was gonna explode- Were they suicidal? Maybe-“

 

The smoke that had flowed out had changed color. Now, it was a black-ish blue, purple color, but that wasn’t the most important aspect.

 

The smoke had billowed into the form of a giant “S”. Shin, Jjs, and JCM stared at it for a long time.

 

“…They’re still alive.” Shin said after a while. “We’ve gotta watch our backs.”

 

“Watch them for what? The teleporter thing turned out to be bogus,” Jjs said, “There’s no place to take the spin-off, so what do we do now?”

 

Shin pulled out his phone, tapped in SG’s number, and put it to his ear. He heard it pick up.

 

“Hey, SG, it’s Shin. We went to Roblox and-“

 

The line went dead immediately. Shin looked at his phone, then pocketed it.

 

“It’s time to get back to SBC. Something’s wrong.”

 

“I’m good with that. There, we can get defenses against the S Team.” Jjs said.

 

“Also sandwiches.” JCM said. Shin sighed and turned his key in the ignition, and stepped on the gas again. The Patty Wagon sprung to life, its headlights flickered on, and the engine sputtered.

 

“Gonna need some gas soon,” Shin said as the car puttered away. A few minutes into the drive, Shin looked back.

 

The sky was grey, but light flares of pink and purple afternoon were poking through. The dark black/purple S wafted in the sky, an omen of either what was gone, or what was to come, Shin thought. Either way, Shin smiled and put his middle finger in the air. Jjs looked at him, perplexed.

 

“Why’s your middle finger up?” He asked.

 

“Because fuck the S Team, man.” Shin replied. Jjs smiled and followed Shin’s example, thrusting his middle finger to the sky. JCM looked between them and put his pinky in the air.

 

“I’m fancy!” Jjs shook his head and Shin laughed. The S continued to waver in the background, hovering over the Roblox Stadium. As the Patty sped back onto the road, back towards SBC, the S served as a reminder. Roblox may have been over, but the real trouble was about to begin.

 

-Fin.

 

Next time: Hop On It- A JCM Story

[Young Nug]

Episode 9: Hop On It

 

Shin leaned against the door of the car and yawned. It was late at night, and the moon was new, meaning it wasn’t there. Shin eyed the gas pump lazily, then walked over and took the pump out of his car and put it back. He paid, then hopped back in the car. He looked behind him at JCM, who was reading a magazine. Shin peered over and saw a picture of Beyoncé looking at a fireplace in a seductive pose. Shin smiled lewdly and took the magazine from JCM’s hands.

 

“Ohoho, what do we have here, JCM?” JCM looked thoroughly embarrassed.

 

“It’s nothing!” JCM snatched the magazine back. Shin laughed.

 

“What’re you looking at Beyoncé for?”

 

“I didn’t buy the magazine to look at Beyonce, I only bought it so I could talk to the cashier.” JCM pointed at a young woman at the Gas Station’s mini mart, smiling through the glass at Jjs, who was handing her money. Jjs returned to the car and nudged JCM in the arm.

 

“JCM, you might be running into some action soon. Cashier girl said you’re cute.”

 

Jjs got in and Shin twisted the key in the ingnition.

 

“Shame, JCM. You shoulda hopped on it when you had the chance.” Shin said.

 

“What?” JCM asked, confused, “Did you say ‘hop on it’?”

 

“Yeah,” Shin said, “Hop on it. Get with a lady. You should’ve hopped on that chick ten minutes ago.”

 

“Is there still time to hop on her?” Shin stepped on the gas lightly and pulled out of the pump.

 

“I guess? If you had done it earlier it would’ve been better- JCM WHAT ARE YOU DOING”

 

JCM was kneeling on the trunk of the Patty Wagon, and he leapt off before Shin could finish talking.

 

“HOP ON ITTTTT” JCM screamed as he flew through the air.

 

 His jump forced him straight into the cashier’s window, which JCM shattered with a clattering crash. He fell into the mini-mart. Shin jumped out of the car and ran into the mini-mart in a panic.

 

“ohshitohshitohshitohshit” Shin whispered to himself as he opened the door of the poorly lit store. He leaned over the counter that was adorned with cigarettes and ad-blockers. He saw JCM eating some beef jerky on the floor as the lady he had jumped lay on the ground, unconscious. JCM looked up.

 

“Hey Shin. Want some jerky?” Shin glared at JCM.

 

“What in the holy fuck is wrong with you?” He asked.

 

“What? I hopped on her, just like you said.” Shin banged his head on the counter repeatedly.

 

“That’s- Not- What- I- Meant.“ Shin said between head slams. Shin dashed outside and looked at the gas station. It was empty, no one was there.

 

“Alright, alright. That’s good,” Shin said to himself, running his fingers through his hair. He retreated into the store. He pointed at the girl.

 

“JCM, help me pick her up.”

 

JCM complied, and grabbed the girl’s legs. Shin vaulted over the counter and picked up her arms. The two lifted her over the counter, jumped over again, picked her up, and ran out of the store, mad-dashing across the pavement to the Patty Wagon. Shin dropped her in the passenger seat, leaped over the door and crashed in. JCM hopped into the back seat. Jjs looked frantically at them both.

 

“What’s going on?!” He shouted.

 

“I’ll tell you on the way there.” Shin said flatly, and the Patty Wagon took off into the dirt road.

 

= = =

 

It was much later at night. The Patty Wagon was parked in front of a fancy restaurant. The moon was at its highest point in the sky, and it hung over the mountains in the background. Shin was discussing what to do with Jjs and JCM in the car as the woman sat in the car unconscious, her black hair all over the seat.

 

“So, what do we do?” Jjs asked.

 

“Well, according to her driver’s license, she goes to SBC University, she’s 20. That’s all we know.”

 

“Hey!” JCM exclaimed. “Check her phone!” Shin snapped his fingers.

 

“Good idea,” Shin said, and he reached into the girl’s pocket. He pulled out a sleek looking iPhone, and he pressed the power button. Apps flew on to the screen.

 

“Ha, no password. Lucky.” Shin said triumphantly. “Alright, now time to find out who this chick is.” Shin tapped the Phone app, but his other finger accidentally tapped the pictures app.

 

“What?”

 

The girl’s pictures flew on the screen. Shin, against his better judgement, flicked through them. A bunch of selfies, pictures of friends. Shin kept flipping, when he eventually got to a folder labeled, “Can’t Delete For Some Reason”. He tapped it.

 

A picture of a penis popped up on the phone. Shin screamed.

 

“OH GOD NO PLEASE” Shin swiped his thumb but more and more pictures of penises were on the phone. He screamed even louder. Jjs snatched the phone from Shin.

 

“What’s your deal-AHHHHHHH OH MY GOD NO GET IT OFF” JCM grabbed the phone.

 

“Why are you all screaming? It can’t be that bad.” JCM looked at the phone screen. He stared for a minute. Then a sizzling noise began to emit from his face. He handed the phone back to Shin and screamed.

 

“MY EYES! MY EYES! I’M BLINDD OH GOD NOO” Shin tapped the button on the iPhone over and over again. A Siri’s voice came on.

 

“Hello, I am Siri.” The cold robotic voice spoke.

 

“SIRI GET US AWAY FROM THESE PICTURES AGHHH”

 

“Did you say you would like to see more pictures like these?” Siri asked.

 

“NO HOLY SHITSHITSHITNO PLEASE GOD”

 

“Is this what you were looking for?” Siri asked, and a Google search page went up, with the keyword, “Dick” in the searchbar.

 

“SHIN GO BACK PLEASE PRESS IT ONLY ONCE” Shin pressed the iPhone’s button once, and Safari went down. He was back at

the home screen. He, JCM, and Jjs sighed in relief.

 

“Alright, stay FAR AWAY from her pictures.” Jjs said after a while.

 

“Got it. Let’s just wait until she wakes up, and explain the situation. She should understand if it’s JCM.”

 

“Yeah, that’ll work.” Suddenly, her phone buzzed. A text from Clappy popped out from the top.

 

“Hey, Tanya, are you gonna make our date tonight?” Shin facepalmed and groaned. He entered the messages app and texted Clappy.

 

“Sorry Clappy, might not. Not feeling very well.” He sent it. He put the phone down and leaned against his seat.

 

“This is so terrible.” Shin snapped his fingers in front of the girl (whose name was Tanya, Shin assumed). She didn’t wake up. Shin sighed. Tanya’s phone buzzed again, and Shin picked it up.

 

“Haha, very funny,” it read, “But I see you in the parking lot right now!” Shin looked around the parking lot, and on the other side, stepping out of his car, he saw Clappy, waving. Shin looked at the restaurant behind his car. “Tiki’s”, a sign read. Shin stared at it, mouth agape. Tiki’s. A bar/grill launched when the new version of SBC launched. A perfect place for dates.

 

“Well how fucking convenient is that.” Shin said angrily. Clappy walked across the lot and leaned on the car.

 

“Hey, Shin, what’s up?” Clappy said, always smiling. Shin smiled back weakly.

 

“It’s good baby boo, what’s up with you?”

 

“Oh, nothing, just about to go on my date with Tanya. Why’s she in your car?” Shin racked his brain to find the most bullshit he possibly could.

 

“Oh, you know…Me and Tanya go way back, I’ve known her since we were little kids. I was just giving her advice for her big date tonight, y’know?” Clappy nodded.

 

“Yeah, I get it. Well, you give her a pep talk, and tell her I’ll be inside. She must be tired after that long day at work. That’s why she’s sleeping, right?” He asked.

 

“Oh, yeah. Totally,” Shin replied, “she’ll be out in a minute.” Clappy patted Shin on the back.

 

“Thanks man.” Clappy’s face suddenly turned into something resembling this:

 

“Um.” Shin said. Clappy’s face reverted back to normal.

 

“Heh. Sorry about that,” Clappy said, embarrassed, “I’m gonna go in now.”  Shin watched Clappy go into Tiki’s, and as soon as he was in the door, Shin slammed his head on the steering wheel. He grabbed Jjs by the jacket.

 

“Dude. We’re so fucked, it’s not even funny. If we tell Clappy what happened, his date’ll be ruined.”

 

“Shin. I know how to fix this.” Shin looked back at JCM.

 

“JCM, you’re the reason we’re in this crap.”

 

“I know. But I also know how to fix it. You’re gonna have to trust me.” Shin groaned.

 

“It’s all I’ve got left. What do you need?” JCM leaned in.

 

“Alright, I’m gonna need an iPhone, a microphone, a voice app…”

 

= = =

 

 Shin held Tanya’s arm over his shoulder as he entered Tiki’s. Shin had to admit, it was a nice place, successfully capturing the feel of a Hawaiian bar at night. Sand was on the ground and neon lights were on the wall everywhere. Shin walked up to the front desk.

 

“We’ve got reservations with Clappy.” He said. The girl at the front desk nodded and pointed over to the bar where Clappy was sitting, watching tv. Shin walked over.

 

“Yo Claps, here she is.” Shin said, sitting Tanya down. Clappy smiled.

 

“Thanks, man.” Shin leaned in at Clappy.

 

“Clappy, watch out, though. There are a few things you need to know about Tanya. For one thing, she has a weird disease where she talks but her mouth doesn’t move. She doesn’t like to talk about it. Don’t mention it. Also, her voice sounds kinda robotic and weird- Don’t talk about that either. Also, she might look like she’s asleep, but she’s awake, and listening-“

 

“Shin, I’ve been on dates with Tanya before. She’s never done any of that stuff. Is this a joke?” Shin went white-faced and looked at Clappy’s puzzled face. Shin again went into the bullshit section of his mind and pulled something out of his ass.

 

“…I didn’t want to say this Clappy, but Tanya’s caught a disease called….Um…Blackosigeosis. It’s a disease that makes all the stuff I happened just happen.” Clappy gasped. Mentally, Shin smiled. Clappy bought it.

 

“I’ve heard of that, man. Oh my god, why didn’t she tell me?”

 

“She doesn’t like to talk about it. Just don’t mention it and you’ll be alright. Alright?” Clappy nodded curtly.

 

“I won’t mention it. You have my word.” Shin clapped Clappy (hehe puns) on the back and walked out of the restaurant. Clappy turned to Tanya.

 

“Hey Tanya. How’re you doin’?”

 

“HELLO CLAPPY.” Tanya said in a computerized voice that sounded eerily like Siri without moving her mouth. Her mouth hung open lightly and a dribble of drool slid from her mouth.

 

“Um… You got something around your mouth…Yeah.”

 

“DO YOU THINK I DO NOT KNOW THAT CLAPPY. HOW COULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT.”

 

“I’m sorry, but you weren’t doing anything about it.”

 

“CLAPPY THAT IS IT I WANT THIS DATE TO BE OVER NOW.” Clappy looked alarmed.

 

“What? I didn’t even do anything!”

 

“AND NOW YOU ARE LYING TO ME I CANNOT DO THIS CLAPPY NOT ANYMORE.”  Tanya said tonelessly. A man in an overcoat that sat at a table a ways away from the bar snickered. The man was JCM, and he was talking into his phone discreetly. Using Shin’s newly bought voice app, JCM could speak into the microphone, and whatever he said would come out on Tanya’s phone in her pocket in Siri’s voice (no other voices sounded like a girl enough). Even Jjs and Shin had to admit, it was a pretty great plan.

 

A waiter walked over to JCM’s table. JCM looked up and was surprised to see it was Sauce.

 

“Hey JCM!” Sauce said. JCM stared at Sauce for about five seconds before snapping back to reality.

 

“Oh…Um…H-hi, Sauce.” JCM said absentmindedly.

 

“HI SAUCE.” Tanya said. JCM’s eyes widened.

 

“Oh crap.” He muttered.

 

“OH CRAP.” Tanya droned. Clappy looked at her quizzically.

 

“Are you alright, Tanya?” Clappy asked. Back at the table, the Sauce was eyeing JCM suspiciously.

 

“What’s that microphone for, JCM?” Sauce asked nonchalantly.

 

“Nothing.” JCM replied.

 

“NOTHING.” Tanya’s phone said. JCM grimaced. Sauce looked at Tanya and JCM and then back to Tanya. JCM made a slicing motion across his neck and shook his head.

 

“Don’t say anything, please-“ JCM whispered, but even a whisper was enough to be picked up by the microphone.

 

“DON’T SAY ANYTHING, PLEASE.” Clappy looked around the bar, smiling.

 

“Alright, am I being punk’d or something? Is this a joke?” Clappy saw Sauce and went over to her.

 

“Hey Sauce,” Clappy said, “Can I get a Coke or something?”

 

“Sure thing, Claps, just let me take JCM’s order.” Clappy pulled off JCM’s top hat.

 

“Whoa, hey JCM! Fancy meeting you here, huh?” JCM laughed nervously.

 

“Heh. Yeah. Weird.”

 

“HA. YES. WEIRD.” Tanya called from across the room. JCM facepalmed.

 

“What’s the deal with your girl, Clappy?” Sauce asked.

 

“I dunno, she’s been acting weird all night,” Clappy said dismissively.  There were a few seconds of silence, and JCM thought he was in the clear for a bit. Then, of course, Tanya fell out of her seat and crashed to the ground. The few people in the bar looked over, and some gasped. JCM sighed.

 

“Sorry, Claps. I’ll explain when we get back to SBC.”

 

“But JCM-“ Clappy began, but JCM had already dashed across the bar, picked up Tanya, and dashed out of the restaurant. Clappy looked at Sauce, dumbfounded.

 

“Does he know what’s going on back at SBC?”

 

“Probably not. He’s been in the Roblox Arena for a good six months now.” Sauce said. Clappy paced around the bar, trying to make sense of what just happened.

 

“Do you still want that Coke?” Clappy smiled weakly.

 

“Nah. I don’t think I’m going to be drinking anything for a while.” Clappy’s face turned into again, and Sauce laughed.

 

= = =

 

Shin pulled up at the girls dormitory of SBC University. JCM opened the door of the car, picked up Tanya’s legs, and Jjs picked up her arms. The two walked  up the steps of the dormitory, knocked on the door, stuck a note on Tanya’s leg, put her down, and then rushed back to the Patty Wagon. Shin stepped on the gas and the Patty Wagon peeled out of sight in five seconds.

Several girls opened the door and looked around, and then down. They saw Tanya and gasped.

 

“Hey, look! There’s some paper on her leg!” One girl said. She walked outside, picked up the note and read it aloud.

 

“Sorry, I’m home late, got totally wasted, lol? Also JCM is a hottie, call him on his cell?” The girls all looked at each other with odd expressions on their face for a moment before gathering around Tanya and bringing her back in the dorm.

 

= = =

 

Shin pulled up to the In-Between Motel. Jjs groaned.

 

“This creepy place again?”

 

“Do you have a better idea?” Shin snapped at Jjs.

 

“Fine, we can stay here. Geez.” Jjs said, pissed. JCM, Jjs, and Shin hopped out of the car and entered it. The rather fat lady at the desk that was chewing gum looked up from her magazine and smiled.

 

“Shinya! Jjs! Random black guy! Welcome back!” Shin smiled weakly.

 

“Hey. We need another room.” The lady handed him a key.

 

“Y’all look mighty tired. This one’s on the house.” Shin smiled again.

 

“Thanks, uhhh…What’s your name?”

 

“I’m Kelsey. Ta-ta now!” Jjs looked back at her, eyes narrowed. Then he turned with Shin and JCM down the hall. Shin turned the key in the 3^rd room’s door on the left, and opened it.

 

“Hey,” he said, “They added more beds!” The cramped room now had two beds added to it. Everyone got their own. Shin hopped and touched down in his bed, rolling over and sighing contently. JCM sat down on his bed, and looked down. Jjs also went to sit down on his bed. He looked over at JCM.

 

“Yo, JCM. You alright?” JCM shrugged.

 

“Not really. It’s just now occurring to me that I mess everything up.”

 

“Most things, yes, but not everything. Your plan was going pretty great for a minute.”

 

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t have had to make a plan if I didn’t-“ JCM used air quotes- “Hop on Tanya. I ruined everything.”

 

“If it makes you feel any better, I think you can be pretty cool when you feel like it.” Jjs said.

 

“Really?” JCM asked.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Thanks, Jjs.”

 

“No problem. Don’t ask me for any favors though.” Shin turned out the lights.

 

“Yo guys, go to sleep. We’ve gotta go back to SBC tomorrow, and I’ve got the feeling it’s not gonna be too great when we get there.” The three rolled over at different times and tried to nod off to sleep.

 

Little did they know, 1j1 was watching them through the window.

 

-Fin.

[Young Nug]

Episode 10- 1j1 Gets Arrested And Stuff

 

"This is a horrible world we live in. Murderers, manipulators, kidnappers, and SpongeBob sites have all contributed to the downfall of humanity. However, the only thing worse than a SpongeBob site, are the creepy as shit pedophiles that always lurk beneath the surface, waiting." 

Chris Hansen stepped into the light of the dimly lit parking lot.

 

"I'm Chris Hansen. And this is To Catch A Predator- The Creepy As Shit SBC Edition." 

 

= = =

 

Almost a whole day earlier, things were much different. The In-Between Motel was vacant, except for 3 people and the owner. The sun shone through the window, and Shin groaned and turned over. JCM pulled a pillow over his face. Jjs, however, had the bed right under the window. After trying to get back to sleep, he gave up and sat up, stretching and yawning. He fell back down onto his pillow, sighed, and turned over.

 

1j1 was laying in the bed next to him, smiling.

 

"Hey, jjs! How're you-" 1j1 started, but Jjs screamed and punched him repeatedly in the face. Shin sat up, hair mussed, and looking murderous.

 

"Jjs, if you don't shut the fuck up and let me catch up on my sleep-" But he stopped mid-sentence after seeing 1j1 in Jjs's bed. Shin screamed. JCM sat up, and looked at the scene around him. In a cheap motel room, with the wallpaper peeling off the walls, his friend, with his worst enemy in his bed, was screaming, and so was his other friend. JCM shrugged and started screaming along too. Jjs leaped across the bed and dove for his backpack. When Jjs realized his ray gun was destroyed and he had nothing to threaten 1j1 with, he swore. Then, he figured, maybe he could trick 1j1.

 

"I've got a ray gun in here, 1j1! I'll shoot you, dude! Get out!" 1j1 sat up and held up his hands.

 

"Before you fry me, I just want to let you know, the S Team kicked me out. I'm not with them anymore." Jjs didn't remove his hand from the bag. His eyes narrowed.

 

"Cool," he said, "But you still creep us the fuck out. So get out."

 

"But-!" 1j1 started. Jjs screamed.

 

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE SO I CAN SLEEP, YOU PEDOPHILE CREEP!"

 

"Fine! I'm leaving!" 1j1 said. "Geez!" 1j1 dashed out of the room. Jjs fell back on his bed.

 

"Well, that's a way to start a morning," He said.

 

"Yeah. Interrupted my sleep, too, the litt-" Shin stopped. He looked around for a minute, then stepped outside of the room. Jjs and JCM looked at each other confused, and followed Shin outside the room. Shin dashed into the parking lot in his pajamas and slippers, with JCM and Jjs in hot pursuit. When they got out there, 1j1 was pouring a bag of sugar into the Patty Wagon's gas tank, grinning.

 

"Want some cookies, boys?" 1j1 said, smiling insanely. "Now you've GOT to stay and hang out with me!"

 

Shin, Jjs, and JCM looked blankly at one another. There was no way out.

 

= = =

 

1j1 sat on a seat in the lobby of the motel, playing a banjo and singing. Jjs, JCM, and Shinya sat as his audience, looking incredibly suicidal. Even Kelsey, the motel owner, who was normally happy, was dejected and bored.

 

"I said, you're like a scoop of heaven flavor from the gods above, 

 

So won't you hop in my Ice...Cream...Truck, of Loooooooove?" 1j1 sang in a horrendous faux country accent. 

 

"That was one of my best songs, don't you think?" 1j1 asked.

 

"Yeah," Shin said, his tone sarcastic and biting, "The best one yet. fucking pedophile "

 

"What was that?" 1j1 asked.

 

"Nothing." Shin said. Then he sat up.

 

"That's it!" He whipped out his phone. "I'm gonna...Uhhh, use the bathroom."

 

Shin dashed into the bathroom, which was cheap, small, blue, and had a few roaches crawling around. He tapped in a number on his phone.

 

"Hello, is this the hotline for washed-up NBC hosts that have an obsession with saying their full names?"

 

= = =

 

It was later at night. 1j1 was still singing horrible music, but, unlike JCM and Jjs, he was singing along and clapping. When 1j1 had finished playing, Shin whistled.

 

"Yo, man, great! Amazing! Definitely the best song yet!"  1j1 smiled.

 

"Thank you, Shin, I'm glad you finally came around." Shin looked out of the window into the dimly lit parking lot. He gasped.

 

"Whoa, is that Jelly Otter I see? Looking all-" Shin crashed out of the window, because 1j1 forced him through on his impassioned rush outside. Shin looked up. Among the shattered glass on the concrete, Shin saw 1j1 get confronted by Chris Hansen. He smiled.

 

"Creep bought it hook, line, and sinker."

 

1j1 backed up. He looked at the cardboard cut-out of Jelly Otter, then at Chris Hansen.

 

"Who are you?"

 

"Me? I'm Chris Hansen. This," He said, motioning to a camera crew that was emerging from the shadows, "Is NBC Dateline, and we're doing a special on pedophiles like you." 1j1 looked around at the camera crew.

 

"Why, I'm honored!" 1j1 said proudly. Chris Hansen looked at 1j1 dumbfounded.

 

"Uh...Did you hear me? I'm Chris Hansen, and this is-"

 

"I heard you, Chest Ransom! Do I get inducted into a hall of fame?" Chris looked at the camera crew and then around the parking lot.

 

"Okay, is this a joke? Is this a setup for me? Am I being punked or something?"

 

"Nope!" 1j1 said. Chris Hansen glared at 1j1.

 

"Just walk away so you can get arrested already." Chris mumbled. 1j1 took a step and the police fell from the sky and forced 1j1 on the ground.

 

"We're taking you into questioning!" A police officer yelled. "You have the right to remain silent and make no comments! Anything you say can and will be used against you in court..."

 

In the background, the camera crew packed up and Chris Hansen paced around the room, shaking his head.

 

"What have I come to..." He grumbled to himself.

 

= = =

 

1j1 sat at a desk. He was chained to a chair. Shin sat across from 1j1.

 

"So," Shin started, "How'd you get kicked out of the S Team?"

 

"I don't really remember. All I remember is them waving their hands in front of my face."

 

"How'd you get into the S Team?"

 

"I don't really remember. All I remember is them waving their hands in front of my face." 

 

"Do you remember anything about your time with the S Team?"

 

"I don't really remember. All I remember is them waving their hands in front of my face." Shin glared at 1j1.

 

"You're a little bitch."

 

"I don't really remember. All I- Wait, that was an insult!"

 

Shin stood up and walked away from the table, and behind him, he could hear the sounds of 1j1 getting into a cop car. He smiled. He walked over to the Patty Wagon, where JCM and jjs were talking to Kelsey.

 

"So what've you done since creating the xat?" JCM asked.

 

"Made this hotel," She replied.

 

"...That's it?" Jjs asked.

 

"Yep!" Kelsey said, smiling. Shin leaned on the Patty Wagon.

 

"You get anything out of 1j1?" Jjs asked. Shin shook his head.

 

"I think he was brainwashed by them."

 

"But why 1j1, of all people?" 

 

"I dunno. Maybe someone at SBC'll know. You fixed the gas tank, right Kelsey?" Kelsey nodded.

 

"Sure did. You should be good to go. And now I have a bag full of sugar, so everyone wins!" 

 

JCM, Jjs, and Shin all laughed and hopped in the Wagon.

 

"Well, thanks Kelsey," Shin said, "But it's time for us to get back home! We'll see you later, alright girl?" The Patty Wagon peeled out and sped off onto the road. Kelsey turned around, and watched as the police car's red and blue lights flashed on the trees as it cruised away into the night. Kelsey smiled, and walked back inside to her motel.

 

= = =

 

It was slow in the motel sometimes. It was the same night, but after the eventful, Chris Hansen-filled night, Kelsey was sitting in the lobby at her reception desk. She was reading a fashion magazine, looking at the pretty celebrities within. Suddenly, with the wind of a thousand adventures, two people burst through the doors of Kelsey's motel.

 

Clappy and Sauce looked effectively beat up, almost tortured. Sauce's blouse was torn in many places and was less a dress and more of a tatter. Her arms had several lacerations, and she had a black eye and some bloody scratches on her face. Clappy was much worse for wear. His blazer was torn, practically shredded, his tie barely hanging onto his neck. His white dress shirt was stained with blood, and ripped, revealing his torn chest and stomach. His hands were cut, his face beaten purple. Kelsey gasped.

 

"What happened?' She yelled, running over to the two, trying to tend to their wounds. Clappy pushed her away. With her good eye, Sauce looked at Kelsey intently.

 

"Kelsey. Where are Shin, JCM, and Jjs." Sauce said calmly.

 

"They went back to SBC..." Kelsey said, confused. Clappy slammed his fist on the wall.

 

"DAMMIT!" He screamed. Sauce put her face into her hands. Kelsey looked even more confused.

 

"What's wrong?" Kelsey asked, a note of fear in her voice.

 

"They just doomed us all by going back there." Sauce said, through her hands. Clappy slammed the wall again.

 

"It's going to be gone. It's all going to be gone!" He yelled. Kelsey looked at the beaten people, one who cried, one who screamed in frustration. She was so confused that it felt like the room was literally spinning.

 

"We were too late, Sauce. SBC's gone." Clappy said.

 

-Fin.

 

Next time: Meanwhile, At SBC: Rise Of A Goddamn Heroe

[Young Nug]

Episode 11: Meanwhile, At SBC: Rise Of A Goddamn Heroe

 

It was all good, just a week ago. SBC was a humble, happy community. A lot of people were aware that Shin and Jjs had gone on a mission to get Spin-Offs out of the Doody Era, but otherwise, nothing big was happening. 

 

Until Thursday.

 

Ex and OMJ were talking, walking through the town. 

 

"Come on, man," OMJ said, "You should come to SBC more." Ex shrugged.

 

"Eh. I'm not always feelin' it." OMJ stopped walking. He looked around. Ex looked at him confused.

 

"What's wrong?" 

 

"I feel a rumble. It kinda feels like it's coming from the Xat Square."

 

"Ha, now there's a place you never go." OMJ and Ex dashed through SBCity, until they came to the gate. They ran out, and jogged a few yards to the Xat Square, which was on the outskirts. The view they encountered wasn't a great one.

 

Standing on the fountain, were two large individuals. They were draped in black hoods, but a large, reddish-purple S was painted on both of their chests. A large crowd was gathered around them. Ex and OMJ skidded to a stop behind CNF, who was in the crowd. The sun shone brightly in the blue sky.

 

"CNF." Ex said. CNF turned around.

 

"Ex! OMJ! What's up, guys?"

 

"Nothing. What's going on right now?"

 

"These two weirdoes just showed up. They're talking about how SBC needs to concede for the new order coming. Just stupid shit, honestly. He's probably a troll."

 

"...And we're dead serious, too!" A hooded one shouted out. His voice sounded oddly young.

 

"Yeah. It's over, to be honest. The S Team will take control of SBC so quick, you could blink and you'll miss it." This one sounded older. Ex made his way to the front of the crowd.

 

"Yeah, and just who the fuck do you think you are?" Ex said, confidently.

 

"Us?" A black hood asked, pointing at himself. "Why, we're the S Team. Me, I'm Alpha. This here is Sigma. We're the head honchos."

 

"You kinda just look like two giant sacks of shit, to be honest." OMJ said, smiling. The crowd laughed. The S Team members looked at each other. They stepped into the crowd and flanked OMJ.

 

"Care to say that again?" The fatter one (Alpha) said. OMJ smiled and grabbed Alpha by his hood collar, and pulled him in close to his face.

 

"You. Kinda. Look. Like. A giant. Sack. Of. Sh-" Suddenly, OMJ's eyes rolled into the back of his head. He started sputtering, and he let go of Alpha's hood. He crashed to the ground and began convulsing. And then he started shreiking.

 

The crowd gasped. Ex yelled.

 

"What are you doing?! STOP!" Alpha chuckled and snapped his fingers. OMJ's eyes returned, he stopped sputtering, and he began breathing rapidly. The crowd looked at OMJ breathing on the ground, then up at Alpha and Sigma, who were back on the fountain. Their faces weren't visible, but they were somehow, leering over the crowd, a menacing, scary force. Gray clouds were beginning to gather in the sky.

"We're not playing games anymore. Hand over SBC, or it's war." Ex looked around at the faces of the frightened members. He stepped up and looked at Alpha.

 

"I guess it's war, then."

 

= = =

 

Terminoob and Ex lightly creeped through the destroyed remnants of the Entertainment District.  It was Sunday morning.

 

"Had no idea they were so powerful." Termi muttered.

 

"Seriously. How do you nearly level the Entertainment District in two minutes?"

 

"Did Sauce and Clappy get out alright?" 

 

"Yeah. It sucks that Clappy got back from that weird date and came back to this mess. Didn't expect Alpha to just attack him and Sauce like that."

 

"Yeah. Glad they got out. I think they ran to get Shin and Jjs." Terminoob jumped over a wrecked car. Termi and Ex walked around a corner and looked at the remnants of the Spin-Off Theater, completely collapsed. They stared at the grey rubble for a long time.

 

"...Fuck them."

 

"Agreed." Terminoob said. "Now, where did hilaryfan80 say the Roblox Weapon bag was?" Ex pointed down the street towards the Subway.

 

"He said he left it on the Subway a few weeks back. The subway shut down when Alpha and Sigma started attacking, so it should just be a straight shoot into the train and back." 

 

Terminoob nodded.

 

"Let's hurry up and get down there."

 

"Hello, boys." A cold voice said.

 

Terminoob and Ex froze, then turned. In the grey day, Sigma's black hood and red S stood out against the sky. 

 

"Where are you going? It's kinda cold outside, don't you think? CNF seems to think so."

 

"What?" Ex said.

 

"We've got CNF tied to the Xat's Fountain. Gonna torture him and stuff. It's gonna be rad." Sigma said gleefully. Terminoob and Ex looked at each other. How were they going to get the weapons and save CNF?

 

"Why are you doing this?" Ex asked, angrilly.

 

"All we wanted was your city, and you refused. It's that simple."

 

"Why do you want our city, though?"

 

"It'll all become known in good time, Ex. I'm surprised you rallied SBC against us so quickly though. I thought only Dylan or

Nuggets had that power."

 

"I had to, since you teleported them to fucking Regular Time, of all places..."

 

As Ex and Sigma argued, Terminoob's eyes darted between Sigma and the steps leading into the subway. If he could just run there... 

 

"Ex." He whispered. "I'm running into the subway. Make a break back towards the Xat Square. Save CNF."

 

"But-"

 

"Just do it."

 

Terminoob broke into a mad dash. Sigma shot bursts of purple energy at Termi, but he leaped and bounded and dodged them. Termi made it to the subway and dashed down the steps. Sigma screamed and launched a thick purple beam into the subway.

 

Terminoob ducked. The dark subway passage was illuminated purple as the beam whooshed past Terminoob. Termi ducked too hard, however, and started falling down the steps.

 

The beam shot into the subway train's open door. Termi also crashed onto the subway platform and rolled into the train. The train's lights flickered on, but something was different. 

 

They were purple.

 

Termi stumbled to his feet and looked around the train, struggling to see through the flickering purple light. He almost screamed when he saw what was sitting in the seats.

 

Trolls. Young ones. All with clubs, sleeping in the seats. Ugly, disgusting faces, dumb-looking faces, but strong, over-developed muscles. As the subway flickered to life and the trolls began to wake up, Termi's first thought was, 'How did these things get here?' Termi looked out of the open door, and saw Sigma floating at the top of the subway steps. He was waving. 

 

And Terminoob knew at once Sigma had teleported the trolls. Termi screamed and tried to run out, but the door closed and the subway lurched to life. The trolls began to wake up and moan, and Termi screamed as the subway took off.

 

Sigma chuckled deeply and turned away from the subway, back to the corner, so he could deal with Ex.

 

But Ex was gone.

 

= = =

 

CNF was tied to the Xat Fountain. A crowd of SBCers gathered around him, screaming, while Alpha floated next to CNF, looking at the crowd. After a few minutes of screaming, he screamed.

 

"SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU!"

 

Everyone slowly quieted down.

 

"Now. Everyone, remember. This is all your fault. If you had just given us your city, none of this would have had to happen. We wouldn't have had to destroy parts of the city we want to claim. We wouldn't have had to deport your leader and his Mexican Coke whore. We wouldn't have had to hurt your friends. We wouldn't have had to kill CNF in front of everyone to set an example...if you had just listened and given up. This blood is on your hands, not mine."

 

The crowd began yelling with hatred again. 

 

"STOP!" Was the most heard cry, but there were shouts of "No!" and "Please, don't!", as well. Sigma held up his hand and shrieked. Everyone was silent at once, as if by magic. CNF looked miserable. He closed his eyes.

 

Sigma produced a long, sharp looking spear from thin air. 

 

"How are you doing those things?!" Cat Mario called. 

 

"I think it's because he has access to the ACP." Wumbo muttered. Sigma readied the spear, about to thrust it into CNF's stomach. CNF closed his eyes and prepared for the worst.

 

"Goodbye, ClassicNickelodeonFan1. Sorry it had to be you." Sigma pulled the spear back. "Prepare to die."

 

"Yeah, and you can prepare to get your ass ran over by a sandwich."

 

The Patty Wagon came out of the air, slammed into Sigma, and his spear flew out of his hand. Jjs hopped out of the back of the wagon, and began cutting CNF's rope. Shin climbed out of the Wagon and stood on top of the hood. He raised a fist in the air.

 

"Who's ready to kick some asS Team?"

 

The crowd cheered in response. It was about to begin.

 

-Fin.

 

Next Time: Homecoming, Parts 1 and 2