Jjs Goodman Posted June 28, 2016 Author Share Posted June 28, 2016 (edited) SBC: Investigation & Prosecution 4. Ponies (AKA Ponies: The Plot) Spoiler Episode 4: Ponies (AKA Ponies: The Plot) [Fred: So I take it that Metal Snake likes MLP.] [Metal Snake: Ha ha, it’s funny because I stole the name of Ponies (AKA Ponies: The Anthology) and replaced “Anthology” with “Plot”. That’s real creative.] [Hayden: What a redundant alternative name.] "What do you think of me, terminoob?" Pinkie Hooves asked with a smirk. [Terminoob: What do I think of you? I think you look like a character that belongs on Regular Show and when I look at your pink lower horse body, I don’t even want to think about your sexual preference.] "How the hell did you get here?" terminoob replied as he pulled a gun out of his pocket. [SOF: Magic. *snort snort*] [Pinkie Hooves: We took the magic rainbow to get us from Ponyville to Earth or something like that.] [Hayden: This is exactly why we can't have gun control laws passed, you never know when an MLP character will track you down and you'll need to end them.] "What relation do you have to Rainbow Dash?" "Rainbow Dash knows more about you than you think," said Pinkie Hooves as he chuckled sinisterly. "You should probably kill us before something bad happens." [Terminoob: ...You said it, not me. *shoots Pinkie Hooves*] [Fred: I can do the honors.] [Hayden: ] "We can easily grant you your death wish, you know." Nightmare Fan said in an attempt to intimidate Pinkie, who continued to snicker. [Hayden: I wouldn't snicker at someone whose a fan of nightmares.] Despite being unable to believe what he just heard, terminoob was able to retain an expression of indifference on his face, and pointed his gun at Pinkie. [Metal Snake: Because that’s the terminoob we know and love. ] "Very well then, prepare to be terminated, noob." terminoob said as he shot Pinkie Hooves in the chest seven times. [Fred: Hahaha, get it? It's because terminoob is his name!] [Metal Snake: ...That is not the terminoob we know and love. Termi would never say such corny, Arnold Schwarzenegger-esque lines.] [SOF: Come on Past!MS...] [Hayden: I'm the only one that remembers that classic daily catchphrase?] However, none of the bullets left a mark on his chest, and a completely unscathed Pinkie Hooves remained standing. "So how would you describe this situation, termi?" Pinkie responded as he approached terminooob, who was completely silent. [Terminoob: Um...it’s stupid. As well as written by a fifteen-year-old who doesn’t know any better.] [Terminoob: I think that this situation is *puts on sunglasses* mane-ly horrible. I can't do it right, can I?] [Terminoob: I always knew bad fanfiction coming to life would be the death of me.] Suddenly, Pinkie stopped as terminoob disappeared out of nowhere, and the walls and the floor began to turn black. [SOF: Wat? Is this supposed to be some sort of black magic?] [Fred: Nice pun, SOF.] "I don't know what's going on," said Nightmare Fan as he grabbed Pinkie and put a blade up to his neck, "but no one has ever escaped from the nightmare realm of Nightmare Fan, the Sandman. Gotta thank one of my old friends for the title..." [Metal Snake: I’m honest to Celestia God shocked that no reference to Nightmare Moon is made in this part. Come on Past!me, don’t tell me you think you haven’t ponied this lit up enough already.] Just then, Nightmare Fan looked at the wall and paused in surprise at the sight. On the wall, he saw an image of a horse-like figure breaking a man's neck. [SOF: That's deep, man.] [Hayden: How ironic that nobody ever saw this before until now. Terminoob's real downfall was improper home inspection before purchase.] "I don't have nightmares," said Pinkie Hooves as the illusion disappeared, and Nightmare Fan saw Pinkie Hooves groping his arm around terminoob's neck. "I only dream of Rainbow Dash's desires, such as the death of this man." [Hayden: That's a little Rainbow Brash, if you ask me. *tap dances and winks*] "This is...absurd." Nightmare Fan said as he surveyed the sight. [Metal Snake: Self-awareness FTW!] [Hayden: ] He then collapsed to the ground and fell asleep, exhausted from the effort of casting the illusion. "Glad to know your opinion on the situation," Pinkie said cheerfully. "What about you termi?" "This situation is...meh." terminoob replied emotionlessly. [SOF: So is this lit.] [Metal Snake: Ha ha, it’s funny because that’s what termi said about everything back then.] [Hayden: The sad part is that termi can say meh about anything, and he'll be right like he is right now.] [Terminoob: These riffs are...meh.] "Your appearance may have surprised me at first, but you can not make me fear death." "So you have nothing to comment on other than the...mehish quality of this situation," said Pinkie. "Now that I've seen your reaction, I think that's enough. Don't worry, I won't kill you right now." [Metal Snake: Wait, wha…] [Hayden: But random ass pull wall prophecies never lie!] "Why not?" terminoob asked with interest. "You have me in your clutches right now, what would be the purpose of leaving me alive? [Metal Snake: Yeah, that’s as good of a question as any.] [Hayden: Terminoob will be needed for a climax later in the story, I'm guessing.] "Two reasons," said Pinkie in response. "The first being is that I know what would happen to this place if you were to be destroyed." [Metal Snake: Pinkie read And There Were Less.] [Hayden: We'd survive well into 2016 with even less problems than usual?] "So you know some of my true intentions," said terminoob. "Why don't you tell me some of yours?" "Which leads me to the other reason," said Pinkie. "I came here because Rainbow Dash wants information on the whereabouts of two people you know about. Two people who must be done justice...in the name of ponies." [Metal Snake: ...I’m sickened, yet curious.] [Hayden: ] "Ponies?" terminoob replied. "You don't mean those ponies, do you?" [Fred: No, I mean the ponies down over at Old Man Jenkins' farm.] [SOF: Next, she wants to destroy the users with cupcakes.] "Of course," Pinkie said with a huge smile and an evil look in his eyes. "I assume that they are...meh to you, [Fred: Everything is meh. You are meh. Ponies are meh. This lit is meh. Is that gonna be the common substitute for the word "bad" in this lit?] [Metal Snake: Well, you assumed wrong. Terminoob was a huge brony at the time this was written.] but to me, they are more than amazing. They are the staple of the lives of both me and Rainbow Dash. And do you know what I love best about them?" "Humor me." terminoob said sarcastically. [Hayden: Well so far this is all one big joke, so wish granted.] "Their plots," Pinkie responded in delight. "As in the plotting out of their very beings through the happenings of their lives. It not only exposes their inner self, but it also exposes them from front to back through a series of stimulating events." [Metal Snake: I DID NOT EDIT THIS. THIS IS ACTUAL DIALOGUE FROM THE SHOW.] [Plagiarism Police: Metal Snake? This is the Plagiarism Police. We just received word that you stole some lines from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and you're coming with us.] [Hayden: ] "You are sick." terminoob replied. [Fred: You can say that again.] "Ah, my love for them is hard to comprehend," said Pinkie as he leaned closer to terminoob. [Fred: But it's probably more comprehensible than the next lines below me.] "But it is a love that gives my life greater meaning. For the sake of my ponies, these people I want information on must be punished. So you must tell me." [Metal Snake: Okay, I understand that Past!me was trying to make fun of people obsessing over MLP, but good God, this dialogue is just...UNCOMFORTABLE to read. This is far more disturbing than amusing…] [SOF: Speaking as a brony, I can testify to the discomfort this scene gave me.] [Hayden: Sounds like a cult to this non-brony.] "If you insist." terminoob said, deciding to give in to Pinkie Hooves' demands. Later that night… [SOF: I don't like where this is going...] [Hayden: Because you read ahead?] JCM was in the alley behind OMJ's liqour store. He was very tired and disoriented, as he had spent the whole night drowning his sorrow over the recent events in alcohol, [Metal Snake: So I guess he really is just “fairly young” to be drinking.] and searching the town for women to have the JCM way with. [Metal Snake: I guess he’s not into the OMJ way.] [Fred: No one ever wants it to have it the Fred way.] [Hayden: The JCM way is a JCMovie followed by an awkward political discussion back at his place.] "Life is pain," JCM said sadly. "Why are there no older women around this joint?!" "Is it women that you seek, young man?" asked a voice from around the corner. "Why don't you try your luck with ponies? Do you not like ponies?" [Metal Snake: WHAT THE FUCK “That’s right, boys! If you can’t get a girl, fuck an animal!”] [Fred: ] [Hayden: JCM doesn't like hookers, animal or human.] [Smitty: That's disgusting.] [Fred: I think you mean, "JCM, that's gross".] "Why do you care?!" an irate JCM asked. [Metal Snake: The correct response is, “Get away from me, you crazy zoophiliac!”] [Hayden: You meet your most caring of friends on the cold night streets.] "Don't be so unapproachable, kid." the voice that was revealed to be that of Pinkie Hooves said. [Metal Snake: “Don’t be so unapproachable to the suggestion of beastiality!”] [Hayden: Take dating advice from Pinkie Hooves and all of your problems will be solved.] Pinkie Hooves stepped out from behind the corner of the alleyway, donning a much more feminine look. She/he was wearing a bra over the breasts that she now had, and her hair was also pink and puffy. [Fred: ] [Hayden: ] [Metal Snake: Oh dear, I do NOT like where this is going…] [SOF: No...please Past!MS, don't even try...] "Don't worry," Pinkie said sweetly, "I know you like ponies. [Hayden: Stalker.] [Metal Snake: THIS IS SO WRONG GOD HELP ME] [SOF: Don’t worry MS, I’ll shield your eyes!] [Fred: Well, it's not like I was going to watch it again, but it's shit like this that kind of scare me from watching it again. How the hell am I going to watch it again without thinking of this scene?!] What are you doing out here all by yourself this late at night though? You're not a door-to-door prostitute like Molestia in that "clopping story" are you?" [Fred: It doesn't get any better from here, folks.] [Hayden: You're asking HIM if he's a prostitute?] [Metal Snake: STOP IT WITH THE OBSCURE REFERENCES THIS IS CRINGEWORTHY ENOUGH] "That pun was terrible," JCM said instinctively. "Wait- damn it!" "So you do like seeing ponies engaged in that kind of activity, little boy." Pinkie said giggling. "Well in that case, I have something much more entertaining in store for you." [Metal Snake: WOULD YOU JUST END ME ALREADY] [SOF: JUST END IT ALREADY GOD I HATE THIS] [Hayden: Can the entertaining thing be literally any other chapter of something we've riffed ever?!] [Fred: JCM, don't do it. For the sake of us riffers, don't do it.] "Would you stop calling me a little kid, I'm old enough to have-" JCM paused, as he realized something in his drunken daze. [Metal Snake: Did he realize that he was actually not at the legal age to have sex?] "Are you a female of the "older" kind?" "If you want me to be." Pinkie replied. [Fred: I'm too uncomfortable to speak of what comes next.] [Hayden: THAT'S NOT HOW AGE WORKS.] "Good enough for me." JCM said happily as he got up. [Metal Snake: The one thing I can say in Past!me’s defense, I did imply that this character of JCM was a furry in Episode 2.] [Hayden: Why not just do this scene with 4EverGreen? You didn't have to sink JCM this low.] "So you like me now...," said Pinkie in a darker tone of voice. "Why didn't you just say that from the start? Why did you have to hide it for so long?" "Uh, what?" a confused JCM asked. [Hayden: But he wasn't hiding anything, he was just drunk and what you said up above changed his mind for god knows what reason.] [Metal Snake: Man, what is up with all this self-awareness?] "You won't have to hide anything from anyone any more," said Pinkie softly, "because you're going to love me..." "Are you propositioning me?" JCM replied. [Metal Snake: Oh, of course not. She’s only been flirting with you for what, seven lines of excruciatingly painful dialogue?] [Hayden: This is the one time I'll excuse JCM of not keeping up very well. Clearly he's subconsciously trying to stay in denial of the horror before him.] "I said," Pinkie said as she jumped on JCM. "You're....going to LOVE ME!!!!!" "Aaaahhhhh!!!" JCM shouted. [SOF:....I just lost it.] [Metal Snake: …] [Fred: Okay, since the two guys above me are speechless, it seems that I need to say actual words about this, and those words include.... What. The. Actual. Fuck. Past!Metal Snake. No seriously, I feel so uncomfortable right now. The fact that JCM is being raped by a pony just made me completely lose it. Not only does it come off as completely embarrassing and cringey, but it also comes off as completely disturbing. I told you it got worse from here. It'll probably get worse from here on out too. What the fuck.] [Hayden: Flashbacks..... ] The next morning... Officer Clappy got a call from Lieutenant 70s. "Hello?" Clappy said as he answered the call. "Uh, yeah Officer Clappy," 70s said unenthusiastically. "we have a problem." [SOF: Plot Hole Police, we have a problem.] [Fred: Your negative attitude is the problem.] Behind OMJ's liqour store, JCM was lying on the ground lifelessly. He was lying on his back while his eyes were completely white. [Metal Snake: …..] [Hayden: ] "Who could've done this?" Jjs asked himself as he examined JCM's body. [Metal Snake: …….So she went Rusty’s Raping Rampage on him. This is how our last scene in the “town of SBC” ends. With JCM getting raped by a crossdressing centaur. …….I have no words.] [Hayden: I never thought Metal Snake was a drug experimenter. But now I understand where the personal shame MS was so worked up about came from.] [SOF: How could things get any weirder than this?] Meanwhile... "One down." Pinkie told Rainbow Dash, now reverted back to a male form. [Hayden: How can they switch forms, gross. Why not change form to a HUMAN then? And I guess 4EverGreen is getting his dream come true after all. 70s should've done JCM a favor though and dished out the law, because the story using this as a punishment is just a big nay-nay. Oh shit, horse puns.] "Excellent job, Pinkie Hooves, you are proving yourself to be a formidable ally," said Rainbow Dash joyfully. "Now it's time to take care of our next target, a man who hates both ponies and me with a burning passion, Shinya." [Metal Snake: *sigh* You mean “doesn’t care”. What was up with me back then and not being able to see that people on SBC just don’t go around hating on things.] [Fred: Hey, I'd hate on ponies too if they raped any of my loyal SBC friends.] [Hayden: What has Shinya had to do with anything? 4EverGreen gipped again. What a tug of war this is.] End of Episode Four. Reviews will be appreciated. [SOF: This was a weird chapter. Pinkie raping JCM was just...uh...uncomfortable to sit through. Just one more to go though and that ends the mayhem.] [Metal Snake: This episode isn’t just bad. It’s EMBARRASSINGLY BAD. Thankfully, we just have one more to go...] [Fred: Here's a big review for you. What the fuck?! I don't give any craps about the rest of the chapter, but the part where Pinkie rapes JCM? No. Just no. This is probably my least favorite chapter so far. At least I can take solace in the fact that it will all end soon.] [Hayden: Is this the last rape or can I expect more in Chapter 5? I don't know if I want to be surprised or forewarned. I hope someone can dig up an old review of this episode specifically. Because I've got to see the old SBC mindset on this. Sylvia in a dress was way less offputting than that sketchy ass scene, as a reference for Trophy to get. Lastly, I hope Nightmare Fan isn't a fan of the nightmare we riffers sat through.] Edited June 28, 2016 by jjsthekid 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Biden Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Dear god, Past!MS, what the fuck is wrong with you.... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Oh yeah, small mistake I (Present!Me, obviously) made. In this riff... 1 hour ago, jjsthekid said: [Metal Snake: I’m honest to Celestia God shocked that no reference to Nightmare Moon is made in this part. Celestia's name was supposed to be crossed out. But yeah, the only thing I feel I can add to the riffs is that I'm actually kinda stunned that this show was more anti-brony than anything despite coming out during the peak of MLP's popularity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted July 5, 2016 Author Share Posted July 5, 2016 (edited) SBC: Investigation & Prosecution 5. Dash's Magic Tutorial: Spoiler [Fred: Well, time to end this. What better time to finish than the end of June?] Episode 5: Dash's Magic Tutorial (AKA Ponies: The Foreshadowing) [Metal Snake: Come now Past!me, if you’re going to shamelessly rip off the alternate title, you may as well shamelessly rip off the actual title. And “tutorial”? What is he going to do, teach us typing?] [SOF: Is he going to teach us how to write good English like with SOF?] [Jjs: Maybe he'll teach us not to ditch your lit after the 5th chapter. Yup, this is the final chapter, folks. Metal gave this the ax after here, but I can see why. He will elaborate more on that at the end.] [JCM: I'd make fun of myself, too, but I'm just too perfect. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯] [Fred: Dash's Magic Tutorial on How to Make SBC Spin-Offs Without Any Forced MLP References.] It was 10:00 AM in the morning, and outside in an area close to the temple [Jjs: The Legends of the Hidden Temple?] where Rainbow Dash had summoned Pinkie Hooves, our two favorite bronies were sitting down inside a tent discussing their plans. [Fred: Oh, so I'm not one of your favorite bronies?! Friendship over! ;_;] "Shinya...", Pinkie Hooves replied. "From what I've heard about him from terminoob, I'm going to assume he won't go down as easy as JCM." [JCM: Wow, I missed a lot.] [SOF: What do they want with Shinya, anyways? Get him to find ponies with them?] [Fred: Clearly they want the SUCC from Shin.] "You assumed right," Rainbow Dash assured him. "Back in the days before the SBC government was dissolved, [Metal Snake: So SBC is in anarchy right now? Wow, Elastic being the judge for SBC court is making too much sense now.] [SOF: Ah, the good old days.] [Fred: LIGHTS OUT, GUERRILLA RADIO] Shinya used to gather information on criminals for the police. He quickly baffled others with his advanced knowledge of the criminal mind and expert ability to study and analyze data. His contributions to the department of law enforcement were said to be a major factor in keeping the crime rate so low back then." [Metal Snake: Dayum, Shinya was giving me blowjobs back then.] [JCM: Too bad I didn't do the same.] [Jjs: I'm sure Shin's introduction of obscure k-pop songs to the community kept people from committing crime.] "How did you end up becoming his enemy, though?" Pinkie asked. [SOF: “I ate the last cookie.”] [Jjs: I assume they probably tried making Gangnam Style mainstream, or whatever other kpop songs Shin shared with us.] "Shinya never had a taste for the candy-colored equines that you and I adore, Pinkie," Dash answered, "but he didn't really become a threat of mine until he learned about my plans. [Jjs: Well, I now know what "equines" means, so this story taught me something. Impressive.] "Plans for what?" Pinkie asked. [Dash: The same thing we do every night, Pinkie. Try to take over the forums!] [JCM: SBC: I & P Season Two. A man can dream, can't he?] "Plans to create a clean world," said Dash. "Plans to rid the world of all who hate ponies!" [Jjs: Wow, it's not every fanfiction you read where you go from Shinya disliking candy-colored equines to genocide.] [Fred: "Yeah, let's kill them for not sharing the same opinions as we do!" Seriously, what the fuck?] [Metal Snake: Christ on a cross, first rape and murder, now GENOCIDE?! It’s incredible how a story clearly meant to cater to bronies is portraying them in a manner such as this.] "Really?!" Pinkie responded in surprise. [Metal Snake: Yeah, REALLY?! This is making Rusty’s Raping Rampage’s lampooning of bronies look very nice by comparison…] [SOF: RRR MLP Style, coming soon to HBO.] [Fred: Pinkie's Ponyfucking Promenade is a more fitting title.] [JCM: Really!?! With Seth, Amy, and Pinkie Pie.] [SpongeBob: REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY?!] "Of course," Dash said confidently, "but Shinya caught on to my scheme! There was no way I could let him rat me out, so I hired the greatest assassins I could find to hunt him down! [Metal Snake: Translation, Steve and the Hobo from the Bus Station.] [Fred: I'm kind of expecting these two assassins to be sorta like The Three Stooges, except less funny.] [Jjs: Nyuk nyuk nyuk!] He disappeared from town, but unfortunately, not before he reported all his knowledge on me to the police. I was forced to go into hiding as well, and to put all my faith in the hitmen I had sent after him. However, years went by, and not one of my assassins reported back to me. [Metal Snake: Maybe because you forgot to pay Steve and his hobo friend, dumbass.] [Jjs: Maybe they stopped hunting Shin after he introduced them to k-pop.] Shinya was never seen in town again after that." [Jjs: He was probably on one of his extended breaks that he takes from SBC.] "How did you know he was still alive then?" Pinkie asked. [JCM: He showed up in an episode of Jersey Shore.] "One week ago," Dash explained as he pulled out a box that contained a scroll, a keyboard, and a necklace with a cloud raining three droplets on it, "I woke up in the middle of the night to a sight I'd never thought I would see again. It was the spirit of the moon, hovering in the air. [Metal Snake: When did this turn into a drug PSA?] [SOF: And when did this turn into the MLP version of CSI? I thought this was the SBC version of CSI.] [Fred: The title implied that this was going to be the SBC version of Law and Order. Too bad it's far from being a Law and Order parody.] She told me that Shinya was still alive, having fled to and was hiding in a secret mountain range where he spends all of his time expanding his knowledge of the universe. [Jjs: So Shin is trying to be the Korean Albert Einstein?] The apparition was reciting the poem that had given me the clues I had needed to call you forth, and she also gave me a scroll containing all of my lost plans and special brony techniques that I had planned to use against all of the infidels. [Metal Snake: *sigh* Patience, Cloudy, patience…] [JCM: Obama needs to stop focusing on the Islamic State and start focusing on the Equestriamic State.] [Fred: Suddenly, I become a terrorist and a threat to society. Watch out, guys.] She also mentioned to me that I was destined to kill terminoob, a task that could only be completed with the knowledge of his weakness, [Jjs: Again, how to beat him in a debate. Down Under!SG somehow was able to beat him a debate, so she is one step ahead of you.] knowledge that could only be obtained from the smartest man in the land, a man who lives in a secret mountain range, a mountain range invisible to the human eye that can only be opened using a special technique, a special technique only known to those who hold great knowledge, knowledge known to the smartest man in the land, Shinya." [Jjs: Wow, the amount of repetition and redundancy in that sentence...] [Redundancy Department: Redundancy of Redundancy Department would like to have a word with Metal Snake in that house which is a house somewhere in a town on a block in a street.] "That backstory was...detailed." Pinkie replied. [JCM: "Detailed" is my nice way of saying "boring".] [Jjs: You mean redundant and repetitive.] [Metal Snake: I should really be complaining about all the self-awareness in this story, but honestly, I’m just glad that it AT LEAST doesn’t take itself seriously. If it did, I don’t even want to know…] "Just wanted to make sure you understood everything," said Dash as he unraveled the roll of paper. "Now as for the scroll, well...just look at it." [SOF: You know, I feel like this is turning MLP fanfiction that has nothing to do with SBC, and somehow, nothing to do with MLP either. It’s like the worst of both worlds.] [Dash: LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT!] The scroll read: Special Brony Techniques & Spells: Dishonoring of the Donor [JCM: Yeah, screw those generous turds!] [Jjs: Hey, Shin donated a lot of money for SBC's donation goals, don't dishonor him! ] [Metal Snake: “Dishonoring of the Donor”? Are you fucking kidding me? Please tell me this was an oversight, this joke about bronies being sexual deviants has been done to death. Enough already.] 1. Epic Cupcake Time 2. Flight to Home 3. Sol's Solemn Soul Cry [Metal Snake: Don’t those names just roll off your tongue?] [Fred: At least they sound like better episode titles for this show.] [Jjs: Wow, try saying "Sol's Solemn Soul Cry" seven times fast.] Next to each spell was a symbol. The first spell had a symbol of a jar of liquid, the second spell had a symbol of two wings, and the third spell had a symbol of a doll with red eyes and familiar rainbow-colored hair. Also, below each of the first two spells was a set of musical notes, and below the third spell was a series of question marks with a symbol of a cloud raining water next to it. [JCM: Mommy, is the rain just God sweating?] [Mommy: No, son. God is crying. I'd be crying too if I read this whole lit.] "Seems pretty simple," Pinkie said upon reading the scroll, "but what are all these notes and symbols for?" [Jjs: >Seems pretty simple >But what are all these notes and symbols for? Wow, that's like saying being a police officer seems simple, and then asking what handcuffs and guns are for.] Dash sighed. "Do you know a thing about subtlety?" he replied as he pulled out an electric keyboard that was (you guessed it) blue and decorated with rainbows. [Metal Snake: The Power? Good on you for keeping my Regular Show joke relevant.] [Fred: Ooh, he's going to play us a musical number! Get your earplugs ready!] [Jjs: Wait, "you guessed it? Thanks, but I really wasn't guessing that the electric keyboard was going to be blue and decorated with rainbows, but at least this story tries to hold our hands, unlike Down Under.] "Anyways, each spell requires both a certain tune to be played on a keyboard like this, and a specific object in order to be used. The notes below the spell tell you which song you need to perform to use the desired technique. [Fred: I have a feeling that it's going to be "Winter Wrap Up". I mean, we already had tons of forced MLP references, might as well throw in another one.] As for the symbols, they tell you what object must be used for the spell to work. Understand?" [JCM: No.] "Yeah, I guess." Pinkie said, even though he was still slightly confused. [SOF: As am I.] [Jjs: Hey buddy, we don't need anymore undercover riffers.] "Good, because I'm going to have to teach you how to use these spells." Dash told Pinkie. [Metal Snake: Well, at least this episode is true to its title. That’s something, right? A very small something, but something, right?] "Wait, me?" Pinkie replied. "Why can't you use them?" [JCM: Because that would require work and stuff.] [ssj: because you touch yourself at night.] "Oh yeah, I forgot to mention..." Dash said as he chuckled sheepishly. "I actually did try to put my elaborate plans of ponifying the world into action after I got busted...only to find out that I can't use my magic anymore, since my pact with the moon spirit, the one who had given me the ability to use the spells from the start, was dissolved long ago." [Metal Snake: Then have your contract reinstated, you hippy.] "Oh," Pinkie said, "but wait, doesn't that mean I have to make a pact as well?" "Of course it does," Dash replied as he grabbed the necklace from the box. "Pinkie, you may be me, but you are also a different kind of me. We are going to go up against a very powerful foe, and while we may not need to use the special techniques, I still feel it's necessary for you to learn them. [SOF: Just as we still feel this padding is necessary.] [Metal Snake: Because we have runtime to fill, dammit!] [JCM: Just end it early. Nobody will complain.] [Jjs: Shin is a "very powerful foe"? Don't worry, the worst he'll just do is blast k-pop songs.] You may be a loyal servant, and you may possess great power, but to truly achieve a state of radicalness and divine awesomeness, you must be able to learn and understand everything I know." [Metal Snake: Ha ha, get it? Radical and awesome? Because that’s what Rainbow Dash said in an episode of the show. If it was funny there, of course it will be funny here too.] [Fred: I never really watched that episode of the show, so I just assumed that you put in radical adjectives with divine awesomeness.] [Jjs: Radical AND divine? Why even stop there? Is he ultra mega hyper legendary radical supreme divine awesome, too?] "Alright, I'll make the pact," said Pinkie in accordance. "What do I have to do?" [JCM: Disembowel yourself.] [Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinkie. Try to take over the world!] [Fred: They're Pinkie and the Dash! They're Pinkie and the Dash! None of them are genius cause they're clearly insane!] "This necklace that I'm holding is a special artifact that was only given to members of my clan by the moon spirit," Dash explained. "Only those who truly love ponies are allowed to wear them, [Metal Snake: The precursor to The Last Chalicorn?] [Jjs: Every time I see "moon spirit", I keep thinking of the fish from Avatar: The Last Airbender, so now I'm imagining a fish gave Dash the necklace.] and only bearers of the necklace can read the hidden words below the final spell, which make up the promise to the spirit of the moon. Take the necklace, and look at the scroll now." [SOF: So we’re bringing Satanic pacts into this?] Pinkie put on the necklace, and looked at the scroll which Dash had laid on the floor. In place of the question marks were now the words that read, [Metal Snake: And now time for more poetry with Gary.] [JCM: Gary's poetry will be much more comprehensible than what's about to come up, I'm sure.] [Fred: "Roses are red. Violets are blue. If you don't like ponies, I will have to kill you."] Spirit of the moon, who lives beyond the stars. I, (your name here) promise to never break your heart. [Jjs: "your name here"? Are we supposed to put our own names, Dash's name, or somebody else's name? Explain, story!] Spirit of the moon, I do not take delight in Cupcakes. [Metal Snake: Yeah, a line worth riffing in this “poetry”. For a scroll that’s called “Dishonoring of the Donor”, you’d think the pact-maker would be the kind of person to take delight in Cupcakes.] I, (your name here) will use these spells for their intended sake. Spirit of the moon, if I fail to utilize these spells properly, I, (your name here) will put myself at your mercy. [Fred: I honestly don't see how "properly" rhymes with "mercy", but that's probably just me.] Spirit of the moon, if my promise does not stay true, I, (your name here) will give myself to you. [JCM: (your name here) is my favorite character.] "Hey Dash," Pinkie said curiously, "how exactly do you use these spells "improperly"?" [Jjs: One mispronunciation can screw it all up.] "Beats me," Dash replied cluelessly, "I just did whatever I wanted with those techniques, and nothing bad happened to me." [SOF: Ha ha?] [Metal Snake: Again, I’m sickened, yet curious.] "This pact appears to demand a lot of commitment though," Pinkie said nervously, "maybe this is something I shouldn't be messing around with." "Just recite the words already," Dash replied in an apathetic tone, "we can worry about the consequences of your actions later." [JCM: I bet Rainbow Dash voted "leave" during the Brexit referendum.] [Metal Snake: “It’ll be okay because you’ll be the one paying for them.”] "Fine." Pinkie said reluctantly. He then recited the promise to the moon spirit (substituting the name "Pinkie Hooves" for "your name here") [SOF: No shit.] [Metal Snake: No way, I thought he’d substitute the name “Chris Evans” for “your name here”.] [Fred: I thought he would substitute the name "Cameron Ando" for "your name here", but that's just me.] [Jjs: I thought he'd substitute the name "Tommy Wiseau" for "your name here", silly me. Once again, thanks for holding our hands, story.] and when he had finished speaking it, the sunlight outside disappeared, and in its place, an ominous moonlight shined into the tent. [Fred: Black hole sun, won't you come, and wash away the rain?] "What's going on?!" a shocked Pinkie asked as he went outside the tent. [Fred: I said hey! What's going on?!] [Metal Snake: ...You tell me dipshit, you’re the one who called upon the moon spirit.] The sky was pitch black, even though it was supposed to be daytime, and a full moon was hovering just ten feet above him. [JCM: "Full Moon" happens to be the name of Netflix's Fuller House spin-off.] [Jjs: I'm imagining another type of full moon, which makes this line pretty damn hilarious in hindsight.] "Thank you for accepting my powers, Pinkie," said a robotic voice that was apparently coming from the moon. [SOF: It was a robot? What a twist!] [Moon: I. Am. The robot. Beep boop beep!] [Metal Snake: So the moon spirit is a robot? And “apparently” coming from the moon? No shit it was coming from the moon. I feel like a hypocrite now for how much I got on tvguy for misusing “apparently” now.] "You are the second person to be given a necklace from Dash himself. The first one was a former friend of his who brought him to the community four years ago." [SOF: I’d prefer not to know who the first one was.] "Hmm, that information may be vital later on." Pinkie said, feeling that the voice was hinting at something. [Metal Snake: MOST. SUBTLE. FORESHADOWING. EVER.] [JCM: The voice was actually hinting at 20 new seasons of The Voice.] [Jjs: Or it'll just be an unexplored plot point we won't see because this is the final chapter.] "Yes, it may," replied the voice. "But anyways, you can use any of the first two spells on the scroll of techniques now. The third is a spell that can only be used once you have agreed to give yourself to Sol." "Who is Sol?" Pinkie asked, as he remembered seeing the same name mentioned in the third technique. "And what is the penalty for not using the special techniques responsibly?" [Lemongrab: One million years dungeon!] "I only hope you do not have to find out," said the voice as the moon began to disappear. [JCM: Vague much?] [Metal Snake: Well Dash didn’t have to find out, so I’m sure he’ll be fine.] "Farewell for now." [SOF: And farewell to this short-lived lit series.] [Fred: Goodbye to you! Goodbye to you!] [Bear in the Big Blue House: Goodbye now!] After a while, the night sky turned back to day, and Pinkie was left with his questions unanswered. [Metal Snake: At least we can better relate to him now. ] [JCM: Lazy writing can always be forgiven with a reference to the lazy writing!] "Congratulations, my fellow brony," Dash said affectionately as he handed Pinkie the scroll, "you are now a full-pledged apprentice under my command. Come back inside, and I'll show you how to play the music for the spells." [SOF: Nope, we’re not seeing you again.] "Um, sure." Pinkie said as he went back inside the tent with Dash. [Metal Snake: “Um, sure.” Sums up my reaction to a lot of this pretty well.] [Jjs: ] He looked at the scroll again, and noticed that there were still no musical notes under the third technique. Under the words of the pact was merely another series of question marks. [JCM: Question marks do a great job of symbolizing this lit as a whole.] [Jjs: I get the feeling those question marks were representing how Metal Snake's confusion on what to write after this chapter.] "Ha ha," Dash said to himself confidently, "Shinya isn't going to stand a chance." [Jjs: Don't underestimate my boy Shin.] "So what that voice said was true...," Pinkie thought to himself. "But what does it mean by "giving myself to Sol"? [SOF: Beats me.] [Fred: "Sol" means something like sun or sunny, right? You have to sacrifice yourself to the sun.] "Something bothering you, Pinkie?" Dash asked. [Metal Snake: “Just the prospect of giving myself to someone. With all the sexual deviancy I’ve witnessed, I feel I have the right to be a bit skeptical.”] "Um, Dash...", Pinkie muttered, "one more question. Why do you want to rid the world of non-bronies anyway?" [Fred: They stand for everything that we're against! They deserve to die! This might as well be a representation to the Holocaust. Feels like it.] [JCM: Xenophobes don't have reasons for their xenophobia, silly!] [Jjs: Because this story has already had rape and criminal activity, genocide would help its ratings skyrocket!] Dash's face twisted into an angry frown as he pulled out another box that contained two dolls, one of which resembled the one shown in the symbol of the third spell, and the other one being a yellow doll with red eyes and a familiar lock of pink hair. [SOF: So are we bringing voodoo into this now?] [Fred: I don't think this lit deserves merchandise.] [Jjs: Did someone invent an SBC: Investigation & Prosecution toy-line? Were they the same makers of the Down Under toy-line? Are they worth anything? Because I still haven't found any good usage for my Redman action figure, so I doubt I'll be finding uses for these, either.] "Because Pinkie," Dash said as he pulled out the pink-haired doll, "anyone who does not like something this cute deserves to die!" [JCM: Pretty reasonable, if I say so myself.] [Metal Snake: So it comes down to Rainbow Dash having a problem with people who don’t like cute things? At that point, you may as well just start killing people for not liking puppies, babies, and Furbies. Actually, not Furbies. Those things are ironically creepy as hell.] [Fred: You know what? I think this is like that one Fairly Oddparents episode where these cute rabbits are evil and try to take over Yugopotania, but that episode is better because they do not commit genocide.] Pinkie was stunned, and said nothing more. He started to find himself growing less comfortable about Dash's plans. [Metal Snake: Just like a lot of this lit made me feel uncomfortable.] [SOF: Same here.] [Fred: More self-awareness!] End of Episode Five. [Jjs: Wait, did any actual SBC members even appear in this chapter? So much for "SBC: Investigation & Prosecution"...] Reviews will be appreciated. [JCM: Here's my review: it sucks.] [SOF: My final thoughts, this is not irredeemable, but this is definitely one of the weakest lits of MS’ that I've read. The CSI/Law & Order style just doesn't fit the show and neither does the MLP style. It might have worked as a mystery story if the plot and characters had been more interesting and it also might have worked as an MLP story if it had gone more for something like in Fluttershy’s Dark Sky, but the lackluster execution in both regards kills it. All I'm saying is that this isn't terrible, just bad. SOF's out.] [Metal Snake: And now, for my final review. This episode is the opposite of good, and this show is overall...I don’t know. Obviously bad, but other than that...I really don’t know. My entire time reading it, I was having a hard time figuring out why some parts were stupid in a way that made me laugh, and other parts were stupid in a way that made me cringe. The whole story is intended to be stupid in a funny way, yes, but it doesn’t make the mark of a good comedy story when so much of said stupid humor is so hit-and-miss. And holy LORD, did it miss often when it came to the brony satire. In the writing department, this story falls very short, as so much of it is poorly planned, half-baked, and slapped together. Although there’s more leeway to be given in said category this time due to this being a silly comedy story rather than a plot-heavy, serious story like Down Under, that does not excuse how underdeveloped the premise of detectives solving mysteries in SBC was. Looking at the writing and humor together, it’s unimpressive to say the least. The lazy writing doesn’t please members of SBC who just wanted to read a good and comical mystery story and the awkward, jarringly mean-spirited satire of bronies in the Rainbow Dash arc doesn’t please MLP fans. Speaking honestly, this story had actually been a personal shame of mine for quite some time. The reason I canceled it after the fifth episode is because I felt I had made a huge wrong turn and just didn’t have a clue on where to take it anymore. At that time though, I felt the story was decent enough as a whole to deserve a B. Now, however, I realize this story deserves a D, nothing higher. Some of you might be feeling a little more generous wanting to give it a C, others might be feeling that it deserves a cold hard F. Whether or not you enjoyed reading this more or less than I did is fine with me, that’s just how I feel. On a final note, though this story has aged poorly and is riddled with flaws, it did set what would become the dominant style of my comedy stories, surrealist, farcical, dark humor mixed with elements of horror and mystery. However, being only what set it in motion, it has since been far outclassed by my later works. Look no further than Awakening Fluttershy’s Dark Sky, which is both a far superior supernatural mystery as well as a far superior black comedy. I’m sorry if that comes off as a massive ego stroke, but it really isn’t because if I hadn’t been working to improve since I wrote this...yeah.] [Fred: Well, how do I put this? Oh yeah, it sucks. From the forced MLP references to JCM's *shudders* rape to the genocide of "people who do not like cute things like ponies", I just felt uncomfortable reading it. I think that this and Down Under are proof enough that most spin-offs and lits do not stand the test of time. They aged poorly, unlike lits such as Rusty's Raping Rampage, which I think this lit was supposed to emulate. However, unlike this literature, Raping Rampage was actually funny and was a great satire of SBC. I can't say the same thing here. I can't say it was very terrible, it's just embarrassingly bad. I can't really put it up with the likes of stuff like Down Under and Eddsworld Meets SpongeBob because unlike those shows, I at least have a few good things to say about this. At least it wasn't as terrible as Down Under. At least it didn't drag on like Down Under did. Most of all, at least it wasn't Down Under.] [Jjs: This is one of the better things we have riffed on here... but still not without its flaws. I have to admit this story has not aged well in the past 5 or so years. It really just seemed to suffer an identity crisis midway in with the random pony sub-plot. I feel like if it had just stuck to the shenanigans from the first episode, with the SBC police investigating criminal activity of other members, it would've been interesting. The whole pony plot-line wasn't bad in theory, and while I get it was parodying RRR's sub-plots of disliked SBC members, the problem is those sub-plots were well, mostly in the background, and didn't take up entire chapters. I really don't know if we needed an entire chapter with exposition on some pony scroll, an entire chapter setting up for JCM to be raped (which yeah, sorry, could've been written better), or for the actual "main plot", an entire chapter with a court case that had its verdict decided as soon as it began. Still, I can get some lulzy chuckles out of this, and at least Metal stopped it here before it potentially got worse. I can tell Metal was trying to make a decent piece of work, but it is definitely not one of his best works. I could probably enjoy re-reading it in a Runaway Sponge/Prince Neptune/Diaries of a Serial Killer way. It is far from terrible, and it is one of the least offensive things riffed thus far, at least to me. Still, I'm glad we got a look back at one of Metal's personal shames. So, what's next? Next time we meet, we'll be having a short ride through the past, present, and future, when we riff Can You Please Past the Future, one of Steel's personal shames.] Edited December 24, 2016 by Mr. Hankey 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 Yeah, you guys took me there. Not because your commentary was brutal...but because it was nicer and funnier than mine. I'm impressed with how fair it was and that you saw what I was trying to do. The main problem in writing this lit was that my mind was in the wrong place (interpret that differently if you want xD). I came up with the idea for this story before I got into MLP:FiM. The concept sounded good to me on paper back then, but I should not have gone around advertising it before I had fleshed the concept out. By the time I actually started writing it, I was a different person with a different writing style. The ideas for a story about SBC members being detectives just weren't coming to me anymore because I was instead starting to get a strong drive to write an MLP story. I thought I could get away with it by just turning the pony shit into a short story arc, but I just found myself asking myself, "Why don't you just write an MLP story?". That's why nowadays, I don't write any story before figuring out my plan for it and making sure my heart is in it. There's my director's commentary, now pay me. And watch Dante ride on. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Biden Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 10 hours ago, jjsthekid said: At least it wasn't as terrible as Down Under. At least it didn't drag on like Down Under did. Most of all, at least it wasn't Down Under. Truer words have not been said. Anyways, great riffs and I cannot wait to tackle Steel's lit next. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted July 29, 2016 Author Share Posted July 29, 2016 (edited) Can You Please Past the Future 1. Band Scandal (Part 1) Spoiler [Steel: Hello everyone, it is I, the creator of this Literature! As most of you guys are wondering, how is it as bad as I say it is, and why have I put this down as my worst spin-off/lit creation? There's a good reason why me and my friend, the big pink elephant in the room, are here to riff SBCrats! Right?] [Elephant in the Room: That's not what I've heard about. Don't act like you don't know...] [Steel: What? Are you talking about some other SBC Lit I've made that we've all forgotten about?] [Elephant in the Room: Come on, you've never forgotten about the two-episode Lit you've created as a direct insult towards the people on SBM and- (BLAH BLAH BLAH)] [Steel: Yeah, you just HAD to bring that up! Now I feel like regretting creating you as a one-joke OC!] [OMJ: AND I'M HERE...woo...] [Katniss: I’m here too...yay. ] [Fred: As someone who snooped around Steel's fuck-up thread before (That's how I won that tiebreaker question on Jeopardy), I heard about this literature before. I felt like this was one of those literatures that was perfect for me to do. It's bad and it's short. I feel like this lit was made for me to be riffed. But to get through this literature, I've invited a personal friend of mine. She's green, she's mean, and her name.................is Shego. How ya doin', girl?] [Shego: I have a feeling that this literature will be pretty bad, but if anything, it'll be better than working with Drakken.] [Fred: You said it. Now before we start, I just have one question. Can you riff "Can You Please Past the Future"?] [Shego: ........you know what? I miss Drakken now. Can I just opt out of this now?] [Fred: Nope. I asked you to riff this lit with me and you said yes. Sorry if my shitty joke annoyed you, but we're going to take our descent into Hell and you're coming with me.] [Shego: Fine. Let's just get this over with. *rolls eyes*] [Clappy: I don't remember this, but I do remember, like Fred stated, that Steel was very harsh on his 2010 self in his "fuck up thread". So let's take a trip in the SBC Wayback Machine to 2010. Just keep your eyes pealed for a wild Pokemon forum attack and we should be good to go.] Episode 1: Band Scandal(Future Setting episode) (Part 1) [Steel: Yep, this is the real worst creation I've made that I'm going to riff, and for a reason, it's rather an elephant in the room. It started out as a joke literature that I wanted to write as a jab towards some people on SBM, as well as some others on SBC. And apparently, I had the idea to build a gimmick around it where this creation could've been more than just this two-parter and would be a series of past/present/future stories of SBC members if they co-existed with each other. I shelved it since I lost interest with it. I can't say I'm haunted by this, because, clearly, I made this six years ago, which is too irrelevant to be taken seriously now. So, how did this turn out? Let's dive right into Can You Please Past the Future for the Super Forumotion Entertainment System.] [OMJ: This haunted you? I wasn't told that this was a haunted lit. I signed up to be on the Riffing Theater, not MTV's Fear!] [Clappy: The only thing that's haunting me is that mouthful of an episode title.] [Katniss: Band scandal? So this is what happens when you make mayonnaise an instrument.] [Fred: Is this episode gonna be based on Milli Vanilli?] "Good evening everyone, my name is SpongeOddFan, co-host for SBCNN National News, [OMJ: So, SpongeBob Community National News National News?] [Clappy: Hey, it's 2010. Where are the SOF crusing and his co-host jokes?] [Fred: Ah yes, the Redundancy News Channel of Redundant News.] [Shego: Wow, and I thought Drakken's names for inventions were ridiculous.] and Canadian Chairman of the Histeria community," [OMJ: Alright you ghost, don't try and butter me up by making reference to a show that was actually good.] [Clappy: I'm more confused by the fact that he states he's the Canadian Chairman of a not well remembered 90s cartoon. Either he's humbling himself or he's implying SOF will never be made an official administrator of any cartoon forum.] SOF announced. He was 23 years old. [Steel: I can't believe we're only a few years away from the double twenty. Time really flies when you realize that some of these members shown are now almost past their teenager years.] [OMJ: I thought this was the age he was claiming to be at the time.] [Clappy: Hey, I remember when SOF lied about his age too back then. What do I win?] "And I'm Kenny McNeal, main host and mascot of Tvguy's Million Spin-Offs novel, and franchise," he introduced. [OMJ: KENNY MCNEAL LOVES YOU, AND ALL THE LITTLE GIRLS AND BOYS! KENNY MCNEAL LOVES YOU, AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU BUY HIS TOYS!] [Fred: Kenny McNeal? Is he like Jenny McNeal from Single Female Lawyer on Futurama?] [Shego: Great. Now he's plagiarizing from other shows.] [Clappy: Steel taking a cheap shot at someone else who took on one too many spin-off franchises. Pot calling the kettle black if I ever saw it.] "And today's a nice day in May 24th, 2020, so SOF, how does it feel like being in West Virginia?" [Steel: May 24th, 2020. Hey, it looks like we got another Back to the Future day ahead of us. Mark your calendars, guys!] [Clappy: Feels like nothing of note is happening so far. The plot. Where is it?] [OMJ: Feels like christ?] [Fred: 2020? Is this Sealab 2020?] [Shego: Those country roads must have taken him home.] "The private jets, and all that was so welcoming to me," SOF replied. "Anyways, we have a special interview night. Today, we have the now broken up band, Phillip and the Pussy Cats [OMJ: I feel Pissy Brats would've been more suiting for its time.] [Clappy: Comparing Phillip to a short lived animated cartoon from the 1970s...burn?] [Fred: I'd rather see The Pussycat Dolls. Either that or Jem and the Holograms from the 2015 movie.] [Shego: Whoa Fred, don't go too far. Me and Drakken saw that movie in theaters before and it sucked ass.] [Katniss: What, did they kick out Josie as their lead singer?] live, Notshane's biggest run-on spat, the art scandal from the mind of 4EverGreen, and more!" [Steel: This must be the SBC equivalent to DramaAlert.] [OMJ: Needs more false accusations of ssj being a pedo.] [Clappy: Where is spongbobiscool and his trapdoor of doom? How dare you not have one of the best one note insults of 2010 SBC.] "Let's start with our biggest topic. Ladies and gentleman, Phillip and the Pussy Cats!" Kenny announced as they walked in. [Fred: Boo! You suck! We want Bon Jovi!] [Katniss: I’m sure that one gentleman is peeing his pants in excitement right now.] "Phillip and friends, I heard you raised the charts with your new hit single, "Fear," [OMJ: Yeah, it took up the entire Billboard Top 100 so they had to extend it to Top 200 to fit in everything else.] [Fred: Well, I'm sure that song is better than all of 2016's music.] [Shego: "Fear" actually sounds like a fitting title because I "fear" what this song will sound like.] [Katniss: So they have a new hit single right now...yet they’re broken up? Because that makes logical sense.] [Clappy: Raised the charts? Don't you mean rising up the charts? Add that to the list of things that don't make sense so far.] what's it about?" SOF asked. [Steel: It's about facing the hard reality of re-reading one of your poorly-written past creations, with feeling of embarrassment to follow.] [Phillip: It's about pumpkins. Just pumpkins.] [OMJ: It stands for my fear when my MTV Fear joke takes on an unintended life of its own.] [Clappy: Well so far, this spin-off is about nothing. When does it start?] "The day we've been falling by the undefeatable, and well...we can't fight back and take paths, that's the meaning," said Ninja who is now *insert age here* [Steel: Deep. By the way, for reassurance for not showing Ninja's age, he never actually displayed his age.] [Clappy: Even your description of what the song means doesn't make any sense. It's one massive contradiction.] [Shego: So he won't even say his own age? Bravo.] [Fred: Well, to be fair, Shego, some people on here don't know jack shit about this guy. Even the Wiki has no trace of his activity besides "Ninja has returned" or "Ninja had his position revoked". Not even sure if he has an account on here anymore. Judging from some older posts, he whined a lot and he used to be a designer for the staff. But I guess that's all we'll ever know. Well, whatever age he used to be in 2010, his age is 10 years older than that.] [Katniss: Damn it, I forgot to get him an *insert age here* birthday card!] "I heard you guys broke up! What happened?" Kenny asked. [Steel: Apparently, 2010!Me didn't completely get the concept of a broken-up band, because they're apparently sitting together....not being split up.] "Phillip was being unreasonable when we ordered our pizza, and got engaged with Mothra," Goosebumpsfan said. (He was now 25) [Philip: Imagine all the pizza, being delivered to our door today! YoooohooohOOOOHOOOHOOOH] [Clappy: I'll ignore that stupid reason for breaking up and point out that "he was now 25"...don't you mean "is"?] "It was a mistake, I didn't know you guys didn't like mushrooms," Phillip said. (He was now 24) [Steel: Don't judge me, I had to write something, even if I didn't know these guys' pizza topping preferences.] [OMJ: Oh wow, this revelation being dropped on us right after I crack a Beatles joke.] [Clappy: They don't like mushrooms....where is the joke?] [Fred: Do you prefer your pizza with Squidwards?] [Shego: No duh. I'm pretty sure half of the world agrees that mushrooms are gross. I bet you laced the pizza with drug mushrooms too, which would probably be worse.] "I'm allergic to mushrooms, you should've cared!" Goosebumpsfan replied. [OMJ: I'm freakin reading this in Ringo's voice.] [Clappy: Oh there's the joke, if Goosey ate the mushrooms, he could have had a possibly fatal allergy attack...wow that's dark for a literature that has been absolutely lacking in things going on.] "And did I mention Mothra was suppose to be MY WOMAN?!" [Steel: Oh, and there's this. Back when Goosebumpsfan was active on both SBC and SBM, I noticed that he has had some strong friendship towards Mothra.] [OMJ: I'm sure SBC*holds nose*PU!Ex would have something to say about this!] [Katniss: ] [Clappy: Oh yay, more forced SpongeBob forum member love triangles...didn't we have enough of these from Down Under? But...don't make me say it literature, don't make me...okay, you're going to make me say it. At least Down Under actually sounded like they had feelings for each other. At least they displayed actual emotion. These characters sound like cartoon cutouts of actual SBC members.] "I have to agree with Goosey, we ordered monzarella! Not mushrooms! Shrooms digust me," said Ninja. [Steel: *Mozzarella Also, cheese is not a topping, 2010!Me.] [Clappy: Would you like some cheese on your boy band drama?] [Shego: Monzarella sounds like it could be a better topping than fucking mushrooms.] [Katniss: Shrooms "digust" me too, Ninja. Drugs are bad, mmkay?] "Woah, dating someone a band member likes, how was that?" SOF questioned. [OMJ: ] "Absolutely wonderful, she was a good smoocher!" Phillip answered. [OMJ: Too much TMI!] [Katniss: Looks like Phil doesn't have any remorse about taking MY WOMAN--I mean, GOOSEBUMPS' WOMAN!] [Clappy: "She was a good smoocher" Who says things like that?] "You guys shouldn't fight, I hate it!" Nathan said, he was "26" years old. [Nathan: You shouldn't fight in here! This is a magical place!] [Steel: This Lit was also not without the presence of a TV.com member that I regretfully trolled. I was at least right that he wouldn't actually be 26.] [OMJ: #AllFightsMatter] [Clappy: I know what will cheer Nathan up! Squidward lighting a fart on fire... ...ahh, the 2010 & 2011 memories.] "I heard the band broke up when you crashed Ninja's Mercedes, what happened?" Kenny asked. [OMJ: What next? Giant piles of bubblegum?!] [Clappy: Incorrect pizza toppings, possible allergy attacks, stealing girlfriends, crashing luxury brand cars. I'm surprised they didn't break up sooner.] "I was driving as usual, then I crashed into this palm tree during our tour in Alabama, and Ninja got real mad, like really means it," Nathan explained. [Steel: But I was wrong about palm trees being in Alabama.] [OMJ: You just don't fux with someone who really means it.] [Katniss: Hey, you can't blame Nathan. I'd be tripping balls too if I saw a palm tree in Bama.] [Fred: If there are palm trees in Alabama, then there must also be a shit ton of swamps in Florida.] [Clappy: I'll give past Steel this. He was right to mock the massive amounts of stupidity in Nathan's lie about there being palm trees in Alabama.] "Cause you drive extremely lousy, I have to pay 600 bucks for a new one, and...ugh, now the rage is totally in my head!" Ninja said. [OMJ: Pause.] [Katniss: I want to live in this fantasy land where it only costs $600 to get a new Mercedes.] [Clappy: $600 dollars can't even get me a new front bumper to my car.] "So in the end, Nathan and Ninja sold autographed albums seperately, we got into another spat, looked back at our epic flaws, and broke up instantly!" Phillip explained. [Clappy: You can sell albums "seperately"?] [OMJ: Well, at least they recognize their flaws...as being epic.] [Katniss: This would make one hell of a Behind the Music episode.] Nathan was now crying. [OMJ: ] "Why couldn't we just make up like regular people?!" Nathan said bawling. [Clappy: Implying that this spin-off even knows how regular people talk like.] [OMJ: Anybody who posts on SpongeBob forums are anything but regular, let alone people.] "It's the circle of life dumbass, bands break up all the time, like the god damn Jonas Brothers," Goosebumpsfan said. [Steel: Oh look, a forced Jonas Brothers joke, even though my prediction of them splitting up came true!] [Clappy: It was 2010 Steel. Jonas Brothers jokes were so 2008.] [OMJ: Don't remind me!] "Look who's talking," Phillip said to Goosey. [Steel: 2010!Me also didn't use that sarcastic remark in the right context.] [Clappy: Can't tell if this is tension or if these users have turned into robots...OH MY GOSH THAT EXPLAINS A LOT.] [OMJ: Long lost Jonas Brother, Goosebumpsfan Jonas?] [Fred: So he's JonasBrothersFan now?] [Shego: Better than being a Naked Brothers Band fan. Isn't that right, Weasel?] They once again argue and beat up each other while Kenny and SOF got back to their posts. [OMJ: JERRY! JERRY! JERR- uh, KENNY! KENNY! KENNY!] [Clappy: This is violent and educational, but mostly violent. Yay violence?] "Next, we have Notshane's ballistic visit at Nick Studios to one of the bodyguards," SOF announced. [Steel: "who tf is this Notshane person?" everyone asked. He was just some guy who ranted about post-movie SpongeBob who loved CatDog. And I think that was about it.] [Shego: Who the fuck is this Notshane person and where is he so I can blast him with plasma.] [Fred: ] [OMJ: He loved CatButt? I hate him already.] The screen then shows a clip of Notshane's ballistic statement to a bodyguard. [Clappy: Thanks for the info. Because I totally didn't read what the statement above said.] [OMJ: Filmed with the future's new top of the line Potato.] "Look you sicko I don't like Spongebob anymore and it should've been axed why not CatDog because that show is god damn tight along with Ren and Stimpy just tell those bitches to stop and ax that stupid show because it's retarded and it rapes my brain!" Notshane exclaimed, using run-on. [Steel: JUST TO MAKE THINGS CLEAR, I have nothing against the mentally ill, but I apparently slipped in the r-word here. If I remember well though, Notshane has used that word. But still, it doesn't hurt to give you guys some reassurance.] [OMJ: Run-On, apply directly to the punctuation. Run-On, apply directly to the conjunction.] [Katniss: Notshane is Notcoherent either.] [Fred: This guy sounds like the ideal TV.com nostalgia fan.] [Shego: How can a TV show rape your brain? Does the show just go into your brain and have forced sex with it?] [Clappy: Sounds like Not Shane would have a field day with PC Principal.] With that, Notshane was prosecuted by that guy, and appointed with several therapist exams, with a twist," said SOF. [OMJ: His therapist was, in fact, this Shane person?] [Fred: Was his therapist Dr. Katz?] [Clappy: I don't even need to keep reading to know where this joke is going. Steel said this came out in fall 2010 when Rusty's Raping Rampage debuted. We already had a spin-off not too long after that where Fa ripped it off so I bet you anything at all that he's going to rip it off too.] "I'm here to see a therapist," said Notshane, as the new clip was shown. "I think you mean The Rapist," said the shady institute. It ended with a scream. [Clappy: What a twist...] [Fred: I'm pretty sure that Saturday Night Live made this joke WAAAAY before you did.] [Shego: ] [OMJ: Oh, this dead horse.] [Steel: I can't keep riling on my past self's confusing wordplay, but the term "institute" definitely does not associate with a person.] [Katniss: "The Rapist" ] "Poor Notshane, he's alright though, but still punished by professional rapist himself, Rusty," said Kenny. [OMJ: Don't try to butter me up even more by referencing a superior lit.] [Fred: hesrustyokay?] [Clappy: "Professional rapist"] "Coming up next, the recent breakdown of ExtremeNights, and 4EverGreen's biggest art scandal, don't go away," said SOF. [Steel: I would go away, but we're now left with the second and final part of this.] [OMJ: SorryNotSorry, but this was the only riff I signed up for. Good day, sir!] [Shego: Um, Mr. Jjs, can I get my paycheck now? Because I would like to go as far away from this lit.] [Fred: I wish we all could, Shego. I wish we all could. But fate is a very bad mistress and when we decide to riff something, we all have to pay the price. I already agreed to do both episodes of this so you'll have to help me do them as well. Plus, I'm sure that it's still better than working with Dr. Drakken.] [Shego: Yep, that's an understatement.] [Katniss: *tries to escape through the window but gets stuck* Drat. Well, here’s hoping the final chapter won’t be too painful...] [Clappy: Great. Maybe something will actually happen in Part Two. Because I'm still sitting here waiting for this to start.] Edited April 25, 2017 by jjsthekid 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted August 2, 2016 Author Share Posted August 2, 2016 (edited) Can You Please Past the Future 2. Band Scandal (Part 2) Spoiler 2.Band Scandal(Part 2) "And we're back!" SOF said. [Shego: Right now, I wish we weren't back.] [Clappy: Great. Time for the riveting conclusion to this story that never started.] [Hayden: With a commercial break that long, I see why it became canned bread.] "Right now, we're going to see what ExtremeNights had for us tonight," said Kenny McNeal. [Steel: And just for all those who don't know ExtremeNights, she was the creator of the SpongeBob Committee XAT, which we used since back in ye olde tv.com days.] [Clappy: Thank you for the history lesson for the folks at home Steel...now what is her purpose in this story?] [Hayden: I didn't even remember that, but I'm sure if she's that essential to our history, Steel will find a fitting part to squeeze her in.....] "Dating for two years, ExKizuna and XtremeNights eventually split up," said SOF with several clips of them before the break up. [Steel: Or was it "XtremeNights?" Eh, let's move on...] [Fred: "XtremeNights"? Is she like ExtremeNights' parallel self from SBCPU? Make up your mind, 2010!Steel.] [Shego: I thought we were gonna see ExtremeNights. Who's this "XtremeNights" person?] [Hayden: One of Ex's failed hook ups?! There's too many of those for that to be unique, Steel. I'd like to think Extreme would be offended....wherever the hell she is.] [Clappy: And I ask once again, what do clips have to do with trying to give her purpose? Even if we are suppose to know her or remember who she is off the bat, what is she doing in this story without an introduction or motive?] "Three nights ago, they broke up after a fight over a fancy villa to live in, their previous romantic dinner, and a spat with ExKizuna and Xtreme's stepbrother," Kenny explained. "This following video is them at a press conference," said SOF. "Why do I not like him anymore? It's obvious he does not have that much responsibility, he can't pay a bill, and well...I see him and my stepbrother fight a lot," said XtremeNights. [Steel: Okay, there's a few tiny differences with the storylines, but here's a little known fact: these plot points within the two-parter are utterly ripped from storylines from a random Total Drama episode, which was the Celebrity Manhunt special. Philip and the Pussy Cats are The Drama Brothers, Notshane's ballistic rant is akin to Izzy's crazy rant, the breakup news story between ExKizuna and XtremeNights is similar to Duncan and Courtney's, and it's all narrated from the perspective of a news show. Some of you guys would say that I at least didn't rip them off word from word, but now that I admitted this, it pretty much strips away the two-parter's sense of originality, doesn't it?] [Hayden: Ah the Celebrity Manhunt special, I remember my hype for that. Band Scandal has a lot to live up to, and so far it's rather wonky. Maybe Steel should've just been open about his inspiration and used this special as a way to bridge the gap between UWS seasons. At least then it'd have a full parody season to draw from for its gossip content.] [Fred: He only had one bill to pay? I get that he would put off paying like a thousand bills, but just one bill? He really is lazy.] [Clappy: What responsibilities do you expect from twelve year olds? Make sure they do their homework and not slack off on their chores?] "Whatever, she wasn't being much of a big deal anymore to me," ExKizuna said. [Steel: Also, what apparently wrapped around the idea of having Ex and XtremeNights having an interaction like this, I once saw XN chewing out Ex one time, and I thought I could use that kinda personality for a Lit like this. She's never usually hostile or anything, so you guys can tell that I don' t know her much at all.] [Clappy: Wow. It really doesn't matter what story Ex is in. He's always an unlikable douche in all of them.] [Hayden: Art sometimes has a knack for imitating life, my fair Claps.] "That's not all folks, because we also have ExKizuna and XtremeNights staying here tonight with the former boy band," SOF announced. Ex and XtremeNights then came in. Ex was 24; XtremeNights was months away from 28. [Clappy: Okay, these age hops are really starting to just get on my nerves.] [Hayden: Since Ex lied about his age, I'm not sure how old he even was when this was published. In any case, the TD Cast were still around 16/17 in Celebrity Manhunt, so the severe adjustment really wasn't necessary.] "Can't believe it, I have to stay here with a sassy one, a Phillip, and three people I hate to hell?!" Ex said with disappointment. [Shego: You're staying with a Phillip? Philip J. Fry? Phil Collins? Phill Lewis?] [Fred: Silly Shego, he's clearly talking about Philip from Terrance and Philip.] [Clappy: Hate to hell? This literature can't even get Ex's insults right.] [Hayden: He sounds like the sassy one.] "You know I can hear you!" XtremeNights said. [Steel: Yeah Ex, you know that she can hear you!] "That was the plan; unintended," Kenny said to Ex. [Clappy: And that was a transition; awkwardly worded.] "At least you're not a bunch of "noobs" in a band," Phillip replied to Ex. [Fred: Hey, 2010 called. It wants its insult word back! Oh wait...] [Steel: Unwarranted self-loathing?] "Shut it Phillip, this is almost reminding me of that unreasonable visit of Xtreme's stepbrother," said Ex. [Clappy: Almost reminding you? How is it almost reminding you when you are bringing it up? You are clearly thinking of this visit that no one riffing and reading this literature even remembers.] [Steel: All I want to know right now is who's this stepbrother person of XN's.] [Peter: You think that's bad? Remember the time we visited Xtreme's stepbrotha?] [Hayden: Maybe Nights does have a possessive stepbrother, we'll never know.] "So XtremeNights, did you have any thoughts of bringing Ex back?" SOF questioned. "No, because like I said, he can lack his responsibilites with money, and sometimes, he needs to wash his mouth out with soap," XtremeNights replied. [Clappy: Typo aside, what exactly did Ex even contribute to this previous page worth of nothing to show that XtremeNights would even consider bringing Ex back?] "I cuss all the fucking time; It's my life," said Ex. [Clappy: Then your life is pointless.] [Shego: You mean "It's my fucking life"?] [Hayden: "Professional Cusser". Makes -12 dollars an hour.] "Let me finish!" Xtreme said to Ex. "The night with you-know-who was the cause of it. He never wanted me and Ex together, I thought about his flaws, and called it quits." [Steel: You-know-who? You mean the stepbrother who only exists in this universe for some reason.] [Hayden: When you need another guy to make you think about that, you aren't really making your own decision.] [Clappy: Wait what? WHAT? This is just piss poor storytelling. Why does this story constantly bring up XtremeNights's step brother so much to the point that he might as well be a main character? Why haven't we met him yet at this rate? Because even in parody newscast form, you might as well interview him to get his side to the story. Also, all XtremeNights needed to do was think about Ex's flaws to call it quits? Then clearly it's making Ex look like the sympathetic figure here unintentionally. And that's saying something since Ex is still made out to look like a dick.] "That's how a pain foreshadowing can be," Ninja thought. [Clappy: Foreshadowing? Where? Don't you mean hindsight? Because that story was all hindsight.] "Did I say you can talk? No I didn't," Xtreme said to him. "Yeah, I can be extreme sometimes, but that certain incident affects the relationship." [Clappy: Haha, get it? Extreme? Because her name is Xtreme. You are extreme. Extremely bland. No wonder Steel had to remind us in his riffs who she was.] "Now Ex, do you have something to say?" Kenny asked him. [Steel: I'm gonna have to skip a few of these since it's just some ordinary exposition.] "I was devastated after the break up, later on, I thought..."no, we're not much of a power couple anyways," the answer of winner Xtreme back is no," Ex explained. [Clappy: More weirdly worded sentences. What else is new?] "Please stop! Fighting still makes me sad!" Nathan cried. [Hayden: ] [Fred: You stop, you have-you-seen-this-snail-and-dunces-and-dragons-hating, penguins-of-madagascar-and-phineas-and-ferb-loving weirdo!] "In retrospect, you could've been more respectful with my stepbrother, he can care too much, followed by the frequency of a bank account," Xtreme said to Ex. [Steel: "Followed by the frequency of a bank account." Yet some more strange wordplay from 2010!Me] [Hayden: Does that mean your stepbrother bought you more things than Ex? That's creepy. Steel could've just written a love triangle instead of making this forced stepbrother, because the text is already making it sound close to that.] "To be honest, two years can be a pain, I wish we're better as friends," Ex replied. [Clappy: Friends? With the way you two have been attacking each other, I wish you were better acquaintances.] "Apologies to you Ex, I'll keep that in mind." [Clappy: WHAT?] [Hayden: That was the shittiest making up I've ever seen.] "Touching...now what?" Phillip said. [Steel: Well, that went by pretty smoothly.] [Clappy: PACING. This story has none.] "Our latest, and final report is a juicy one," said Kenny. "Last night was an on-camera assault with an art dealer." [Clappy: Let's see 2010. Art dealing. What other SBC parodying can this literature do even worse than it's counterparts?] [Steel: Alright, I wonder what this one is all about. Maybe this Lit might have something that I can at least handle without feeling any shame....] "The convict was no other than Jason Cantu A.K.A 4EverGreen," SOF added. [Clappy: And of course it's 4EverGreen. Who else could it be? Let's find out how badly Steel beats this into the ground.] [Steel: Nnnnnope.] [Hayden: Jason, Can't u just stahp.] [Fred: I wonder if 4EverGreen assaulted him with EMPHASIS and smiley spam! ] [Shego: Enough said! ] "4EverGreen was astonished that the art dealer didn't want to showcase his artwork of nude fan-art of characters, which has credit given to Joe Murray," Kenny explained. [Steel: For a clear explanation on this one, I once stumbled across 4EverGreen's artwork on his Deviantart (which probably doesn't exist anymore), but yeah, I took that too seriously and turned my adventures into his Deviantart gallery into a plot point.] [Fred: He has Camp Lazlo and Rocko nudes? Oh my. ] [Shego: Wait, I found one of 4EverGreen's Rocko nudes right here!] [Hayden: 4Ever should just open his own museum of them.] [Clappy: Add pompous to this spin-off's list of faults. Because I didn't know who Joe Murray was until I had to Google him to find out he's an animator. At least when I reference other people no one has ever heard of, I give a little bit of a novice's guide as to who this person is.] "That's where the assault began. which almost lead to voluntary rape," SOF added. "He will be held captive in Prison Orange for 3 months." [Steel: And for more reassurance, I know that 4EverGreen would never rape or commit to assault. I just don't know what I was thinking, putting assault into this.] [Hayden: "In Prison Orange". So prisons are color coded now. Wait, voluntary rape? That'd be involuntary, unless the art dealer was grossly willing.] [Fred: 4EverGreen's Raping Rampage.] [Clappy: Three months in prison for assault and attempted rape. This universe is a paradise for criminals where sentencing is softer than 4EverGreen's smiley spam.] [Hayden: Maybe 4Ever has some rich parents. #ShotsFired] "Can I get out of here now?" Ex questioned. [Clappy: Realest question asked in this entire story.] [Shego: Can you take me with you, Ex?] [Fred: Take me with you too.] [Steel: Yep, the episode capped off with a random news story that had nothing to do with the main plot, other than the fact that I felt like taking a jab at 4EG.] "Go for it," said Kenny. Ex and XtremeNights both left the news station. "Now let's get back to Phillip and the Pussy Cats." [Fred: Sorry, but the concert ended hours ago.] [Clappy: Didn't we have enough of these guys last chapter?] "More questions? This will be fascinating," Phillip said sarcastically. [Steel: Oh, and there's also this little subplot that's been hanging around since the beginning of this two-parter...] "Don't ask, because all I know is that next to a box of mushroom pizza, Mothra's engagment has pushed too far," said Goosebumpsfan. [Steel: Breaking up over a mushroom pizza was far enough.] [Hayden: Mushrooms are disgusting. I'd break off an engagement if the other person constantly wanted to order the wrong kind of pizza.] "Nathan's stupidity, lack of driving, and crashing my $600 car was bad enough too," said Ninja. [Clappy: What else would you expect handing over the keys to a twelve year old?] [Hayden: In Nathan's defense, anyone would crash a 600 dollar car because the brakes would probably be broken.] "I still wish we can be in the band again," said Nathan, still crossing his fingers. "Which is why I noticed you three are wanting me to never form that band in the first place," Phillip said. "Money is good, but it can still be a bitch." [Steel: Apparently, this turned into a different conversation...] [Hayden: Money's not a bitch, just Nathan was.] [Clappy: You three wanting me to never form that band in the first place...did you even read the sentence above you where Nathan still wants to be in this band?] "Which was why we were going to make money to replace my car until now," said Ninja. "Why couldn't we just bring that car back in the shop? One of my cousins is a repairman," said Nathan. [Steel: Again with the unnamed relatives that are related to the members somehow.] [Fred: Your cousin is Repairman-man-man?] "That makes sense...how many damn cousins do you have?" Goosebumps said to Nathan. [Steel: I don't even know if Nathan has any cousins.] [Hayden: Goosebumps has never heard of multiple cousins before.] "Look, Nathan has a point. My apologies," Ninja said. [Clappy: His point is that his cousin is a repairman. That has nothing to do with your band problems or the fact that you handed him the keys to the car in the first place.] "But what about Mothra and the allergy medications I had months ago?" Goosebumps said, still not convinced. [Clappy: Well clearly your allergy isn't as life threatening if you don't have your medications constantly refilled.] "I'll call someone to file your allergies, and I will try my best remembering them," Phillip replied. "And...I'll tell Mothra to make an enagagment: like you wanted it to be." [Fred: Look, I ignored your previous mistake of spelling "engagement" wrong earlier, but this time, I'm calling The Grammar Police. You're in a lot of trouble now.] [Hayden: Never mind, THAT was the shittiest make up I've ever seen.] [Clappy: How do you file your allergies?] "Group hug!" They all said. The audience "awed." [Clappy: Wait what? That's it? Who what when where why how? I know I said this once already, but dammit the pacing in this literature is so fucking atrocious it's not even funny.] "Well, that's all we have tonight, SOF and Kenny out!" SOF said, and SBCNN was over. [Steel: Aw, isn't that a nice ending? Well, it was certainly a nice ending to a Lit that I'm glad enough that I only wrote this much. On a lighter note...] Don't go away, the PokeRap is next! [Hayden: SING ALONG RIFFERS. *runs off and tries to get the Pokemon Go app to work*] [Shego: Um, PokeRap? What? Where did--You know what, I don't even care anymore, I'm out of here. Goodbye, Riffing Theater, I hardly knew ye.] [Steel: WHY DID I PUT THAT IN THE NOTES SECTION!? What was the context!? Ugh....whatever, this short-lived abomination is over. So, why did I hail this as my worst creation? It should be clear that I made this when I was in a salty mood. The SBM feud was going on at the time and I got royally pissed with the members who revoked and argued with us. I was also trying to stroke everyone's egos by taking jabs at Nathan, 4EverGreen, and some dude named Notshane. It was back when SBC also had this kinda "noob" witch hunt, so the creation of this was mostly an excuse to make fun of and jab at some of those certain members. Other than that, the plot lines aren't even original or subtle, as they're based from plot lines in the Celebrity Manhunt episode of Total Drama. My perspective on this Lit worsened when I remembered that I actually wrote all this, and when I realized that I'm never that type of person in real life to poke fun at people because "it's funny," so the jokes felt more like cheap, unfunny shots to me. In other words, this Lit sucked and I can put this to rest.] [Fred: Wow. That's the line you end your lit with? I've seen some spin-offs and lits end pretty shitty and abrupt, but that's seriously one of the most hilariously bad lines to end with. "Time for the PokeRap"? As I'm riffing this, I'm seriously laughing my ass off at that line because of how much sense it doesn't make. I mean, the lit had nothing to do with Pokemon! What excuse is there to even insert the PokeRap? That being said, Steel, you have every right to be ashamed of this. This was pretty bad. I mean, not so bad as Down Under or Eddsworld Meets SB, but just bad in a very, very, very stupid way. That's all.] [Clappy: You know, it's a good thing I'm taking my time with my redo of my Top/Bottom 10 spin-offs/literatures of all time list (cheap plug) because I keep finding things that are so much worse than I initially expected them to be. Not saying this is going to make my worst list, but I will say this. This has to be one of the worst paced writings I've ever read. I'm still waiting for this literature to start and it's already finished. This is Steel trying to take cheap shots at other SBC members, other people have already done this better, clever, and especially funnier too. You want to mock other SBC members? Fine, but actually take the time to make them feel like they aren't hollow cardboard cut outs. This is nearly ATTWL 3.0 bad at that. Want to make this a Total Drama Celebrity Manhunt parody? Very well, but actually tell a story that has a beginning, rising action, climax, and resolution. You want to throw in a Poke Rap at the end? Actually have the guts to put it in and not name check it. Jjs included a Looney Tunes cartoon in one of his works and I actually appreciated that for being so wtf that I liked it. But at the end of the day, my biggest problem with this story is that it's just completely uninspired and unoriginal. I lost count at the amount of times other people did some of the "plots" this story executed so much better amongst the likes of Elastic, Ex, Jjs, Dragiiin, myself, and many more. I'll give some of the worst things I've riffed here credit where it's due that I've never read something like that before. But this is one of the more prime examples of a rehash if I ever saw one, myself and my personal shame included. At least some of these other rehashes tried something new. Absolutely nothing new was brought to the table here that others haven't done better. That's the biggest crime committed when it comes to why this lit was such a tough one to riff.] Edited August 3, 2016 by jjsthekid 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Biden Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 "Don't go away, the PokeRap is next!" Clearly one of the best lines to end a literature with. Shakespeare must be in envy right now. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel the Wolfgirl Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 God, I love these riffs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 (edited) This show was definitely more on the boring bad side, but it's still definitely Steel's weakest work. Everything else he's written at least had an identity, at least something going on in it to get engaged in. I've read much meaner satire, my real problem with the lit is just...nothing happening, like Clappy implied many times. But good job on the riffers for making it more fun to read, I'm looking forward to that PokeRap the riffs of SBC: Soap Opera. Edited August 24, 2016 by Metal Snake 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayden Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 New exclusive Hayden commentary from the FUTURE has been placed into this episode from the PAST 8 hours ago. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted August 23, 2016 Author Share Posted August 23, 2016 (edited) SBC: The Soap Opera 1. Replaced Spoiler 1. Replaced [Jjs: Welcome back to Riffing Theater. We're riffing another personal shame of mine, called SBC: The Soap Opera. Say what you will about SBC Parallel Universe (the other work of mine riffed on here), but I feel it had some redeemable qualities at the end of the day. This...is elicit to even really riff as it is. This is a really damn weird literature...just the set-up itself is odd. It feels like there isn't even a story. This was made back in summer 2011 as a meta satire of all the SBC themed spin-offs & literatures at the time. Unfortunately, some people didn't find it very funny...with good reason. I abruptly cancelled it after the second episode. Why? Well, let's take a look back at this forgotten and strange embarrassment of mine to figure out "why", as "why" is a good question to ask yourself on "why" I even made this.] [Wumbo: Hey guys! Another good question would be "why" I'm back here to riff again. I'm a glutton for punishment, it seems. Let's see how hard this writing chokes me.] [SOF: Another good question is "why" I am riffing this, but I wanted to get in on the riffing for this oddly short-lived lit. And by "odd", I really do mean odd, so I guess another "odd" person riffing this was meant to be.] [Fred: I'm back too. No special guests riffing this time since they would kill me for inviting them. This time, I'm suffering by myself.] [Trophy: I'm back as well, and hopefully I'm less awkward than the work for once in my riffing experience!] [Hayden: I have knowledge of soap opera aspects, so let's see if our boy Jjs can capture their "quality". I can see this getting "replaced" rather quickly since Jjs is not a fan of most live action genres.] [Clappy: Who invited Clappy back soon? Isn't Steel's nothing of a spin-off already shameful enough? *looks at what we're riffing* ...oh man. This is going to be fun.] Act I [Jjs: One thing that made this different than my other works is that I had planned three acts per chapter, to make it feel like a play. There's nothing wrong with this, however, you'll see that this honestly didn't matter at all, because there was no real need to separate the three acts (barring the last act, and you'll see what the story is behind that).] [Hayden: Well at least your version of pointless separation between scenes has a system to it here.] We see all of the SBC users headed to the Spin-Off Station, getting ready for yet another SBC fanfic adventure known as "SBC: The Dark Adventure". [Jjs: We're off to an edgy start.] [Wumbo: Quite meta, yes. *sips tea*] [Clappy: You know, I'll go ahead and give this work credit already. This is a funny joke that has aged increasingly well in a spin-off section that is now flooded with SBC fanfics. Don't know how much more I'll be laughing at this, but the least I can do is give it credit for having a good joke.] [Fred: Looks like I'll need a lighter then. Do any of you guys happen to have one?] [Hayden: Fire is dangerous Fred, so I just carry around glow in the dark stickers.] "Hooray, another fucking SBC fanfic!" Dragiiin said. [Wumbo: Don't tell me I missed the first three fucking SBC fanfics! C'mon guys, where's my invite?] [Clappy: My sentiments exactly Dragiiin. My sentiments exactly.] [Hayden: I always thought Dragiiin was the batshit crazy one, not the sarcastic one.] We see the station manager walk out. [Jjs: "The Waiter showed up."] [SOF: Shouldn't that be the Executive Producer? Plus, isn't a station manager for a Radio Station?] "Sorry guys, but the network isn't accepting SBC: The Dark Adventure anymore," Station Manager said. "What the hell? I have been preparing my role for weeks!" tvguy said. "Sorry, but the network thought that the SBC fanfics were getting old, and they wanted to try a new approach." Station Manager said. [Clappy: I've got an idea. How about you make spoofs of tv shows and movies?] [Hayden: What network was in such dire need of ratings that they started broadcasting SBC fanfics?] Just then, we see another gang of SBC users appear. [SOF: Oh great, are we riffing SBCPU again?!] "Who the hell are these posers?" 70s asked. "You guys have been replaced by...actors." [Jjs: ] [Clappy: You mean SBC wasn't a figment of Tommy Wiseau's imagination this entire time?] [Trophy: So I'm guessing it's just SBC users in non-SBC works? And who were they anyways, Steve and Hobo from the Bus Station?] [Hayden: He said the episode title. Roll credits......*looks down* Oh hey, we're actually going to see credits....awkward.] *Theme song plays* [Jjs: Before you ask, I have no clue what the theme is. So much like Bikini Top's mysterious theme, we'll never know this one, either. But I am open to any suggestions in the riffs.] [SOF: *insert dramatic and edgy theme here*] [Clappy: ] [Fred: Here's my suggestion! ] Starring... [Jjs: Okay, a bit of context before you ask what I was thinking with some of these actor choices. When I made the topic, I actually asked any interested users active at the time on who they wanted to portray their character in the plays. So yes, every actor listed below was personally picked by the member. Unfortunately, you'll see one of the biggest problems of this lit: I had no idea who the hell half these people were. It shows in their characterizations, but we'll get to that in a few. First, roll call!] Jim Carrey as SOF [Trophy: That surprisingly explains a lot.] [Wumbo: Alrighty then.] [SOF: My 2011 self had his reasons for this pick.] [Fred: Was him playing The Grinch not degrading enough yet?] [Hayden: He'll Carrey all the scenes in this production.] [Clappy: Sssssmokin'] Patton Oswalt as Dragiiin123 [Fred: Ah yes, the famed actor from the film Ratatoing.] [Clappy: Leave Jim the Original Fry Cook out of this.] Michael McDowell as Metal Snake [Fred: I looked him up and got this. Had no idea Metal was in an Irish comedy group. Blimey.] [Clappy: Huh?] Justin Timberlake as SpongeSebastian [Trophy: CRY ME A MOTHERFUCKIN' RIVER I'M STUCK AS A SPONGEBOBBIE!] [Fred: CAN'T STOP DA FEELING] [Clappy: Lyrics.] Tress MacNeile as CF [Fred: So does this mean I can't call her "Dottie"?] [Clappy: Make Pookie Great Again] Shu Watanabe as ExKizuna [Fred: Who--oh of course it's a Kamen Rider actor.] [Hayden: More like wannabe.] [Clappy: Will he be able to break the Ex literature adaptation curse?] David Carradine as Elastic Dog [Fred: Oh, this will end good.] [Clappy: RIP Elastic.] Billy West as CDCB [Fred: Billy West? What a stupid, phony, made-up name.] [Clappy: Hey, this isn't a voice actor on PB&J Otter.] James Dean as Old Man Jenkins [Wumbo: Rebel without me mallet.] [Clappy: Rebel Without a Sauce] Zoey Deschanel as Jelly [Fred: You mean Zooey, right?] [Clappy: Are you sure not Sofia Vergara?] Kevin Thomas as Steel Sponge [Hayden: I guess this actor wasn't worth a riff....oh wait I just gave him one!] [Clappy: WHO? No, seriously. WHO?] Jared Padalecki as justham [Trophy: I want bacon instead. ] [Clappy: JUSTHAM. Awe man, right in the nostalgia. How Supernatural I'd see his name again.] Keanu Reeves as Clappy [Fred: AKA a cop that doesn't give a fuck.] [Clappy: Was I on the red pill when I choose this actor?] Ryan Phillippe as 70s [Clappy: You wish.] [Hayden: Stunningly not on Glee.] Larry David as Sabre [Fred: Wait, Larry David?! I didn't even see this when I put the Curb Your Enthusiasm joke at the beginning!] [Clappy: And what is the deal with airline food?] Anne Hathaway as Deli [Clappy: This has nothing to do with the Muppets. For shame.] [Hayden: Delisney Princess.] Lady Gaga as tvguy [Fred: Of fucking course.] [SOF: Interesting cast choices, but I think Jim Carrey will be the star of the show.] [Jjs: Well, this is a...motley cast line-up, to say the least.] [Trophy: Correct me if I'm wrong, but when did Lady Gaga become an actress, and WHEN COULD SHE PULL OFF A DUDE?] [Hayden: You'd be surprised what Lady Gaga can pull off....er, that came out wrong.] [Clappy: She has been in movies and tv for the past two or three years now, Trophy. But I wouldn't be surprised at all with her pulling off being a dude.] *Theme song ends* [Trophy: It's also custom to put the word "and" before the last actor.] "You guys can't replace us with talentless hacks," Elastic said. [Jjs: I wouldn't call half of those people talentless, dawg, unless this was me personifying a hipster Elastic.] [Clappy: Or in your case, a talented corpse Elastic.] [Hayden: Elastic might be right, I'm more familiar with SBCers than half of these actors.] [Trophy: Well won't they work for less?] "Don't call me talentless when you see how I portray as you," David Carradine yelled as he kicked Elastic in the crotch. [Clappy: David Carradine. Crotch. This joke is way too soon.] "I can't believe you are portraying as me," Elastic said. "But I'll give ya props." [Jjs: Someone recovered from getting kicked in the crotch well.] [Wumbo: I can't believe your sentence structure is being so stilted. But gimme five dawg.] [SOF: Wow, jjs was already writing ATTWL 3 before it was even a thought.] [Fred: Did Tommy Wiseau write this? Oh wait...] "There is only one man that can portray me, and that is James Dean!" OMJ said as he gave James Dean a knuckle punch. [Wumbo: "Knuckle punch"? What do you call a handshake, a finger throttle?] [Hayden: *knuckles Wumbo*] "Yo yo OMJ bro," James Dean said. [Wumbo: How's the snow in Montenegro] [Clappy: ] "Basically, they will play a soap opera at a theater attached with a Looney Tunes short," Station Manager replied. [Jjs: Oh, and here is either one of the most confusing or most praised parts of this lit. I had a Looney Tunes short at the end of both chapters. This was because I was really into Looney Tunes back in summer 2011...and yeah, that's about it. There was no other reason other than I felt like it.] [Hayden: So they admired the shorts more than your writing.] [Fred: Well, at least it isn't the Pokerap. Isn't that right, Steel?] [Trophy: So the actors are hired to portray members for a non SBC related work with Looney Tunes involved. THE FUCK!?] [SOF: Did Warner Bros offer to pay them by the minute if they show a Looney Tunes short?] [Clappy: Road Runner or riot.] "While this is lulz, why did we get replaced?" Ex asked. [Clappy: Because you couldn't think of a better word for your predicament other than "lulz".] [Wumbo: If you don't know anything about SBC members, just have them describe everything as "lulz". That's not a jab, by the way. It's just good advice.] [Hayden: It may have something to do with your lack of experience in the business.] "The network thought it'd be something new," Station Manager said. "It was their call." "I want to put an end to these shitty SBC fanfics, but not like this," Drag said. [Hayden: What was Drag's other plan then?] [Clappy: Maybe this is insight as to why Drag isn't around SBC anymore? META COMMENTARY.] [Wumbo: I want to put an end to this never-ending intro. Can something actually happen please??] "Boy oh boy, you better watch what you say or you could find yourself...with a lead role!" Patton Oswalt said as he approached him. [Trophy: Why is Patton passing that off as if it's a bad thing at first which it should be, even when he deliberately does the opposite of what anyone sane would do?] [Jjs: So...Drag better watch what he says about the SBC fanfics, or else it'll give him the lead role? Huh? Yeah, you can tell I really didn't know what the hell I was typing with half of this, either. I could also be pedantic and point how this doesn't sound like Patton Oswalt whatsoever (along with the other actors in this), but I think the lit already does a good enough job pointing that out for you.] [Fred: This fanfic is shit, can I have a lead role now?] "Wait, Patton Oswalt is acting as me? Oh fuck yes," Drag said. And so, everybody learned that this is a good thing, [Clappy: Spoiler. This isn't.] [SOF: Who is this "everybody"?] and they'd need a break from all of these whacky SBC fanfics. Sadly, they would soon learn on how exactly this soap opera would actually play out. [Wumbo: ALL RIGHT. COOL. FINE. JUST FUCKING DO SOMETHING HOLY SHIT] [Hayden: This is dysfunctional narration instead of melodramatic narration. I want a refund.] [Fred: Wait, I thought this was a soap opera?] [Trophy: Then they didn't "learn" that it was a good thing, they "thought" they did. Stop sending us mixed messages!] [Clappy: We'll be right back after this line.] _________________________________ [Jjs: Large line. I assume this was supposed to my version of Bikini Top's squiggly lines for a commercial break.] [Fred: This presentation of SBC: The Soap Opera is brought to you by the letter "I", which stands for "ibuprofen"!] Act II We cut to the theater. We saw all of the SBC users attend. They bought their tickets, bought food, and got into their seats. We saw the huge stage, and the soap opera began. [Jjs: Who is this "we"? *walks away*] [Clappy: About time, it only took more than half of the first episode and lots of fluffing. Go ahead lit. Time to actually "impress me"...or impress "we".] [Trophy: How much did they cost?] [Wumbo: Then we go sort out the recycling which isn't part of the foreplay but it's still very important.] [Hayden: *buys a hotdog since Jjs didn't explain what was being sold and I make up my own rules*] [Fred: I only came to mock this soap opera Statler and Waldorf style.] Play 1: The Secret We see Billy West as CDCB, hiding something. [Clappy: Okay, cut cut CUT. It's all coming back to me now why I told Jjs I hated this five years ago. THAT ONE SENTENCE. It epitomizes everything wrong with this literature. This constant reminder that it's not a SBC member playing a SBC member. It's that this actor is playing a SBC member. Why do we need to be consistently reminded of this? Wasn't that what the first "act" was for? Maybe it's because I took so many screenwriting and filmography courses in college that it's just me nitpicking here, but you don't see scripts saying Tom Kenny as SpongeBob or Jerry Seinfeld as Jerry. Honestly, read the riff below mine because I can't word this any more perfectly...] [Wumbo: We lose all suspension of disbelief as we're meant to view this story as actors playing SBC members.] [Clappy: ...THAT. I can't word that any more perfectly. I don't want to view this literature as actors playing SBC members. I can't suspend my thoughts of disbelief reading this any further because the literature won't allow me to if I have to be reminded every five seconds that "this is acting". No, it's not. It's just cringey writing. Five years later this is more confusing than bothersome like I did back in the day, but the memories are finally coming back to me.] "Thank god man, nobody will be able to see mah secret," Billy West/CDCB said. [Jjs: I don't know what his secret is, but I can tell you mine is that I had never seen a soap opera before when I wrote this, so you can totally expect this to be a perfect representation of soap operas.] "What secret?" Larry David/Sabre asked as he stalked him. [Jjs: *cue laugh track*] [SOF: When was Sabre a stalker? Or Larry David?] "It's nothing," Billy West/CDCB replied. "Oh I know you're hiding something man!" Larry David/Sabre said with rage. [Riffer/Trophy: Which he obviously must know and has such a passion towards someone's rights to keep it to themselves because.....SOAP OPERAS AM I RIGHT?] [Wumbo: CLASSIC LARRY DAVID FOLKS] [Fred: Yeah, that was my favorite Seinfeld moment where Kramer interrogated Billy West.] [Hayden: This is why people usually act as fictional characters instead of people on an internet forum.] "It's nothing, now please, just try not to start a fight," Billy West/CDCB reassured with grace. "TELL ME DAMMIT!" Larry David/Sabre yelled as he crept over Billy West/CDCB, but he pushed him away. [Trophy: Uh, should we be getting restraining orders or something? Call the cops? Anything?] [Clappy: I'M ACTING. ACTING!] "NOW YOU WANT TO TUSSLE, EH?!" Larry David/Sabre yelled as he slapped Billy West/CDCB across the face. [Trophy: Is this supposed to be a regular soap opera or OMJ's parody of an SBC soap opera mixed in with WWE references while on crack? I honestly can't tell the difference.] [Hayden: When's the kiss coming up?] "Look, this is a private matter, what won't you understand?!" Billy West/CDCB said. "I gotta know bro," Larry David/Sabre said. [Trophy: WON'T YOU TELL US WHY?] [Clappy: Curb your enthusiasm for this secret or he'll never tell you.] He then jumped over Billy West/CDCB and saw a broken floorboard. "AH HA! Right under this floorboard, your secret lies!" Larry David/Sabre laughed. [SOF: Worst twist ever.] [Trophy: I thought it was in his hand...fuck it. Just, fuck it.] [Jjs: THE BOOTS! THE BOOTS! THEY'RE RIGHT HERE, UNDERNEATH THE FLOORBOARDS!] He then looked down it and saw a golden coin, and took it. "That was your secret? Ha! Well, the coin is mine now," Larry David/Sabre said. [Trophy: For all you know it's a token for a goddamn kiddie ride.] [Fred: Yep, his secret is that he hoarded a single coin. Shocking. ] [Hayden: Don't spend it all in one place.] "Hey, I found it first!" Billy West/CDCB yelled as he punched him. "Stop causing so many fights!" [Clappy: I think Past Jjs needs to redefine what a soap opera is.] [SOF: Is this supposed to be a parody of 2011 SBC's drama?] "But boy, that is my personality, now give me the coin!' Larry David/Sabre yelled as he ran took it back and ran off the stage. [Clappy: Because Larry David is Jewish? Is that the joke?] [Trophy: WHEN DID SABRE EVER FIGHT WITH ANYONE?] [Hayden: *punches Trophy* Stop causing so many fights!] [Wumbo: "Now I'm doing an action! Now I'm taking stage direction! Isn't this fun, audience? It's so avant-garde!"] They ran throughout the audience, [Wumbo: Don't you mean "us"?] and the coin kept getting tossed everywhere. It then landed in the real CDCB's lap. "Wow, I guess I really did get lucky," CDCB said as he tossed the coin at Billy West/CDCB. [SOF: BOO, YOU STINK!] [Fred: We're up all night to get lucky.] [Clappy: Define "lucky".] [Hayden: Wow, the real CDCB and the actor CDCB. This should cause some sort of paradox.] "Boys, boys, knock it off!" Justin Timberlake/SpongeSebastian said as he broke up their fight. [SOF: ...wat?] [Jjs: I really don't know why, but the idea of Justin Timberlake being in a soap opera is just ridiculous enough for me to like.] [Wumbo: Cry me a river, indeed.] "The coin was mine first!" Billy West/CDCB said. [Trophy: Is it a family heirloom or lucky charm or what, can we even know what sentimental value it has because he obviously isn't spending it.] "But now, let's not be greedy, okay?" Justin Timberlake/SpongeSebastian said. [Hayden: Yes, let's not be greedy, so much of a single coin to go around.] [Clappy: You can buy a whole gumball with that coin.] "Fine..but I was just curious," Larry David/Sabre replied. [Trophy: A+ answer by cat-burglars in court, thanks Larry David!] "While that is fine, no need to be a brat about it," Justin Timberlake/SpongeSebastian told him. "Alright, fine," Larry David/Sabre said as he forgave Billy West/CDCB. [Trophy: If anything it should be vice versa, even if at all!] [SOF: That was easy. Anyways, is the play going to start yet? Not just random actions and "acting"? Oh, that was the play? Oh...] "You hear that everybody in the audience? Do not let your curiousness get the best of you." Justin Timberlake/SpongeSebastian said as the play wrapped up. [Trophy: Wait, what? That was supposed to tell a message?] [Jjs: ...That's it? It barely felt like the play even started, and it's already over. Another problem with this short-lived failure is that the plays...aren't funny. At all. Obviously they were supposed to be intentionally bad, but they aren't funny either way. Hell, I didn't even know how to riff the play due to how odd it was. Also, I'm really tossing in a moral? Wow, just wow.] [Wumbo: Well did we all learn something, folks? I sure did. I learned that Justin Timberlake is harder to write for than I thought.] [Fred: I just learned that this was the dumbest play ever. Dohohohohohohohoho!] [Clappy: Ridiculously stupid moral. Aside from that, at times, unriffably bad play. Is this suppose to be a parody of XAT drama? Because this sounds like the absurd shit users use to argue about back in the day.] [Hayden: ] The End [SOF: ...Applause?] "...What did I just watch," Ex said. "That was awful," 70s replied. [Clappy: I call it "revolutionary".] "I don't know whether to laugh or cry," Elastic said. [SOF: Look, it's Elastic's classic catchphrase!] [Jjs: A little self-awareness never hurts, I suppose. Unfortunately, you'll see the self-awareness in this lit is actually one of its biggest flaws.] [Hayden: I was worried Past!Jjs actually thought that was a good example of a play for a second there.] [Fred: Hey, we're the riffers here!] [Trophy: Ah, so Jjs did it on purpose! Smart job there, pastjj.] However, anybody who wasn't a SBC member cheered. [Jjs: Wait, non-SBCers were there? That would've been nice to know.] [Clappy: This act was so bad that even the actors are wondering what they got themselves into.] [Wumbo: Make SBC Great Again] [Hayden: Was Jjs inspired by the Ember Island Players or something?] "Meh, maybe the Looney Tunes short will be better," 70s then replied. [Wumbo: STARRING TOBEY MAGUIRE AS BUGS BUNNY] [SOF: ALSO STARRING NICK CAGE AS DAFFY DUCK] ___________________________ Act III http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2v9alx [Jjs: So yeah, I planned to randomly attach a Looney Tunes short to the episodes. You can either admire this or just have a look of confusion on your face, as you probably have for most of this chapter.] [Clappy: YES! ROAD RUNNER! MY FAITH IN HUMANITY HAS BEEN RESTORED! As horrendously unnecessary as these cartoons are towards the actual stories being told, the fact that Jjs was willing to follow through with his asinine idea of including them makes me like this part even more.] [Wumbo: And that's not all folks.] [Fred: Well, I can at least take solace in the fact that short was miles better than what we read earlier.] [Hayden: To Beep or Not To Beep? Well I'd be swearing up a storm if I'd paid anything to get into that theater.] ___________ Character Debuts: Actors and Station Manager [Wumbo: Character debuts: Characters] [Fred: Actors is my favorite character.] Play: The Secret [Clappy: Your play sucking is not really a secret.] Looney Tunes Short: To Beep Or Not To Beep The acts will go like this: [Wumbo: Wouldn't this have been better beforehand, so you don't leave us sitting confused? Though judging by the writing, maybe that was the motive all along.] [Fred: Oh shit, that wasn't even the actual episode?! Where will it end?!] Act I: Beginning with some plot with SBC users Act II: Play Act III: Looney Tunes Short* *Not every episode will have a 3rd act. [Wumbo: Shame, it's the only well-crafted act.] [Hayden: Well if the 2nd episode has one this will be a complete lie.] [Fred: And this show definitely won't have a third episode.] [Clappy: Then get rid of the first two acts. Problem solved.] I am as confused as you are. [Jjs: At least my past self was honest. I really was honest, since you'll see in the next and final chapter I knew this sucked, too. Seriously though, what the fuck?] [Wumbo: We see jjs, played by Tommy Wiseau, as confused as we are.] [Fred: You know, I wouldn't be surprised if this was actually written by Tommy Wiseau himself. Only he would write something this confusing. Aw well. See ya for the next chapter folks.] [Hayden: Jjs inserting himself as Tommy Wiseau would raise the stock of this fic since at least Jjs knows himself and he knows enough about Tommy Wiseau.] [Trophy: So uh, my biggest gripe with this is why are the actors playing SBC users in the first place? It's not like they're personified after them as shown by Sabre, and it's supposed to be an end to "shitty SBC spin-offs" so can't I get some reason as to why it's SBC users? Like I can think of a few good reasons as to how it could be pulled off and I don't want to judge after one episode as things take time to build up, but this was chosen on Riffing Theater for a reason, so I can't really expect that at all, can I?] [Clappy: Then if you are as confused as Jjs, as I, is, wait until the next chapter. It gets even weirder.] [SOF: I think one of my catchphrases really sums up this lit so far: wat?] Edited December 13, 2017 by Gunter 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 2 hours ago, jjsthekid said: Act I: Beginning with some plot with SBC users Act II: Play Act III: Looney Tunes Short* *Not every episode will have a 3rd act. The secret art of making a great literature revealed. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel Sponge Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 As far as I'm concerned with the cast list, I'm pretty sure Jjs was referring to Kevin Thoms (Lance from Sym-Bionic Titan) when I was casted by "Kevin Thomas." It makes sense since I was in the same SBT phase as Jjs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Biden Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Honestly, I think everyone was at their A game in these riffs. Can't wait for the next episode. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted August 28, 2016 Author Share Posted August 28, 2016 SBC: The Soap Opera 2. Rage Against The Theater Spoiler 2. Rage Against The Theater [Jjs: Haha, a Rage Against The Machine reference. And I don't think I was even referencing it intentionally. Yikes.] [Clappy: Riffing in the name of.] [Fred: FUCK YOU I WON'T RIFF WHAT YOU TELL ME] [Wumbo: More like "rage against the spin-off audience", if the last episode was any indication.] [Trophy: Hey! You got politics in my riffing material!] [SOF: More like Rage Against Time.] [Hayden: ] Act I "Dear God, that was one of the most shittiest things I have ever seen," Elastic said. [Trophy: He clearly has not worked with us.] [SOF: I'm curious to know what else Elastic ranks as "shitty" with these plays.] [Clappy: Is this David Carradine or?] [Wumbo: ] "Well, it's not as bad as some other operas.." teenj said. [Jjs: Oh no no no no no. If I was trying to take a sly jab at soap operas with this line, then no sir, I can say that there's no way there are any soap operas out there worse than these plays, even if this line was a joke.] [Clappy: Does teenj watch regular soap operas or something?] [Fred: Yeah, Phantom of the Opera is still worse than this.] [Wumbo: Not to mention that operas are not slang for soap operas, and are in fact a completely different art form. I just wish we'd have a fat lady to sing and end this lit.] [Hayden: This can't be compared to an opera, soap or otherwise, because nothing about it is artistic.] "I'll be willing to give it another shot. If it doesn't improve at all in this play, I am done with this piece of shit," 70s said. [Jjs: You know what they say, second time's a charm!] [Hayden: Did Jjs write this line before he wrote the play, hoping that somehow he'd prove fictional 70s wrong?] [Clappy: Ah yes, my dear 70s. The foreshadowing is quite exquisite.] We see the station manager from the previous episode outside the theater. [Wumbo: Still nameless, but I hear his job gives him great dental benefits.] [SOF: I hope this doesn't turn into SBC: The Self-Awareness Opera (aka ATTWL 3).] "You guys may not have liked it, but many others thought it was a masterpiece," he said. [Hayden: This world sets the bar low.] [Trophy: How so? I can understand something as Squidward and his own art, but I better hear some of the best defending of a work I've ever seen. And boy, have I heard some ridiculous stuff just for pop stars.] [Clappy: That's not fair. SOF likes everything.] [Jjs: Who are these "many others"? The same "people" from ATTWL 3?] [Fred: Maybe they actually said it was a "masterpiece of shit" and you heard them wrong.] [Wumbo: Crowds and crowds flocked to see the new literature!] [SOF: Seriously, who are these other people that liked it? Did you guys bribe them?] "Wat." Ex replied. [SOF: Stop stealing my catchphrase, Ex. ] [Fred: So ridiculous that Ex had to steal a JCM and SOF catchphrase.] [Jjs: My response as well.] [Clappy: Note to self. If you want to give others forced dialogue, always go for "wat", "meh", and "lulz". Sums up everyone's personality universally.] "Give the other play a chance, and you may like it," he said. He then got a call from his boss and quickly ran back into the building. [Trophy: Fair enough point there, the first one wasn't so bad, let's see this other one.] [Hayden: Why does the station manager even care if they're content with it? With all those millions calling it a masterpiece.] "Meh, let's see the next play...if this fails, I am done," tvguy said. [Clappy: If this fails, all the one and done spin-offs you wrote could sure use some company.] [Wumbo: Thrilling! Can't wait to see the next SBC member that's done.] [Hayden: Even if every single play sucked, I'd think that SBCers would still want to see famous actors portray them. These threats of dropping it seem unrealistic and hollow.] We see the manager approach someone's office. He opened the door. [Fred: *imitates door creaking noise from Graveyard Shift*] [Jjs: Actions.] [Clappy: Someone. SBC's favorite user is getting too big for her britches if she has an office.] "Boss, the SBC users aren't liking the play," he said. [Clappy: Oh, the meta commentary. It's delicious.] "I don't care about them, I care about others," the mysterious man said. His face was hidden, but he was behind a chair. The back of the chair was facing the audience so we couldn't see his face. [Jjs: So he wasn't facing the manager.] [Wumbo: GUYS I THINK THE BOSS IS EVIL AND/OR MYSTERIOUS] [SOF: I don't think so, Wumbo. Just because he is behind a chair doesn't mean he is evil and/or mysterious!] [Clappy: Really? I think the boss is just a massive cliche that has been beaten to death so many times with how he's been written here.] [Trophy: Well the SBC users paid a fair amount to see it, I'm pretty sure you should care about everyone's money.] [Hayden: Rational corporate interests? Wumbo is onto something. Only Satan can be behind that chair.] "What if they begin to revolt against the theater?" Manager asked. [Fred: You ALMOST said the title of the episode. Peter Griffin is disappointed in you.] [Trophy: Over a mediocre play? What?] [Hayden: They can get all those actors but they can't hire decent security?] "Don't be silly, they wouldn't have the balls," the boss said. [Clappy: ] [Wumbo: "But we got the balls! We got all the balls in the whole ballin' penis testicle universe! There! That oughta satisfy the preteen boy demographic."] [Trophy: Well it's Niantic's fault for making every single damn Pidgey run away!] [Hayden: Well I'm sure we can get enough bouncy ones. They're only 50 cents. Then we can throw them all at you.] "Okay, I'll just leave now..." Manager said. [Hayden: ] The door closed. [Jjs: How? Does the boss have mind powers? Explain, lit!] [Fred: I guess the door has The Force or something.] "You dare question my reasons? All of this is planned for a reason," Mysterious Boss said. [Trophy: The lack of the word "the" right there has me to believe his parents named him Mysterious because they couldn't come up with anything due to not knowing anything about him at his birth, so voila, name him "Mysterious", it's way better than Tu Morrow, that's for sure.] [Jjs: Haha, no it wasn't. I don't even remember who I was going to make this "Mysterious Boss" (probably ACS or some other shamed SBC member), but I can tell you that I didn't even plan out a large story for this. I just tacked on this "dramatic twist" to try to make it like SBCPU, but had no long-term storyline planned, and that was when I realized this was a failure.] [Clappy: Really? I thought it was planned due to the negative response to the first episode.] "No...but it feels weird..." Manager said as he began to stutter. [Clappy: Well of course. Changing the tone of your story two episodes in is weird.] [Trophy: Wait, the door just closed behind them without the Manager going out? I guess it should be obvious but it seemed like they were done talking.] [Hayden: Why is he so out of sorts over what the station manager thinks? Talk about some forced evil nature exposing.] The chair turned around, but we still couldn't see the boss' face. [Jjs: I wouldn't show my face either, knowing the literature and plays he's involved with.] [Hayden: Maybe he swung it around and crouched under his desk because he's self conscious.] [Fred: Is this mysterious boss Wilson from "Home Improvement"?] [Trophy: Is it colored in with black sharpie?] [Wumbo: Faceless Man Syndrome is not a laughing matter and I have no intention of making light of it.] [Clappy: That's what happens when all the funding goes to paying their actors' salaries and not the theater's electric bills.] "I have no use for you anymore," Mysterious Boss said. [Trophy: You know too much even though I have told you nothing, now you must die!] "What...? What do you mean?" Manager asked in even more fear. [SOF: He has no use for you anymore, dummy.] [Jjs: Yer fired. Relax, the worst he'll do is just give you a pink slip-] [Clappy: Do we need to spell out for you?] The boss then got up, and he grabbed the manager's neck and snapped it. He fell dead to the ground. [Jjs: Well, now I know not to piss off my boss.] [SOF: Well...that took a dark turn. ] [Clappy: Well GGEEEEEZZZZUUSSSSSS] [Trophy: WAIT WHAT, HE ACTUALLY DID IT? I WAS JUST KIDDING MAN, YEESH, RELAX!] [Hayden: This guy's mental. Get it? Cause he has psychic mind powers....but seriously I think he should see a therapist.] [Fred: I think we found a boss that makes Benson look like a saint in comparison.] [Wumbo: ... ... WHAT THE F-] "This is just the beginning..." Mysterious Boss said as his chair turned around, and he looked out the window. [M. Night Shyamalan: ...What a twist?] [Clappy: Tonight, the manager's neck. Tomorrow? THE WORLD.] [Wumbo: Twisty neck, twisty chair. This is Shyamalan porn right here.] [Trophy: Christ almighty, what in the hell did I just...] [Hayden: The beginning of a psychotic breakdown that will make the villains in Bikini Top and Down Under seem clear headed.] [SOF: Too bad we'll never know who this "Mysterious Boss" was, so "This is just the beginning" is kind of awkward. But that line is far from the most "awkward" thing in this lit.] *Theme song plays* [Jjs: The last chapter, and I never even knew what I would have made the beautiful theme. ] [Wumbo: Okay fuck this here's the theme because why the hell not: "So no one told me necks were gonna twist this way *snap snap snap snap*! Your lit's a joke, you bloke, your writing's D.O.A. Looks like you couldn't seem to flesh it out And whether it improves today, next week, next month, I have my doubts but I'll be there for you So I can riff through it all I'll be there for you Even though I'll be appalled I'll be there for you Cause there's nothing else to dooooo-oo"] [Fred: ] [Trophy: Again, that was a long intro...wait, wasn't that Act I? Shouldn't Act I be next and not the opening scene especially since there was no soap opera elements into it?] Act II [Trophy: No? Okay, just forget that.] The SBC members were at the theater. [Fred: I'm just here for the free food. Hi, is it okay if I take home my dinner and Coke in a doggy bag or something?] [Jjs: Most shocking line of the entire chapter.] [Hayden: Why are a bunch of Hollywood actors putting on a theater show when they could be filming a movie?] "Let's see if this one is any better," Ex said. [Wumbo: "IF NOT I'M TOTALLY DONE WITH THIS SHIT"] [Clappy: Unless you want your neck to be snapped, I'd be sending nothing short of positive reviews.] Play 2: Long Lost Brother [Clappy: Tonight's play is dedicated to ACS. Somewhere out there, his brother actually exists.] We see Shu Watanabe/ExKizuna on stage, in a room. [SOF: Again with this "we"?] "Let's see whose ass I will kick today..." [SOF: "Hey Ferb, whose ass are we going to kick today?"] [Trophy: Love how Ex always has to be the "edgy" one, because he's always looking out to kick ass for...vigilante justice? Is there even a reason why or is he just being depicted as a prick?] [Clappy: Ah yes, those are definitely words Ex would say in every single SBC fanfic ever. The acting is quite on par.] Just then, Jex Kizuna entered in. [Fred: Wait a minute.........wasn't "jex" the weird alternative way of saying "sex" in Bikini Top? Oooh, callback!] [Trophy: Why Jex? Lex would make sense, we could get a forced Superman reference, but it'd still be more bearable.] [Clappy: Shut it Trophy. If it means we get the best reference to come out of Bikini Top, I ain't complaining.] [Hayden: Ex doesn't even have a twin brother. This adaptation has it all wrong.] "Brother, it's me!" Brad Jones/Jex yelled. [Clappy: Jesus, Bro!] [Fred: And now The Cinema Snob is in this?! Man, this lit wasted more celebrities than Truth or Square! *Family Guy cutaway goes here* That was weird. Now back to riffing.] [Trophy: Who speaks like that except for long lost relatives in 16th Century England?] "The fuck are you doing here boy?" Shu Watanabe/ExKizuna said. "I thought you were dead." [SOF: I'm back from the dead, baby!] [Hayden: Say what you want about English speaking Trophy, but it's better than the overuse of the word "boy". I think Jjs was inspired by Foghorn Leghorn speech patterns.] "I was, but I was revived with the Elixir of Life," Jex said. [Trophy: What do Soap Operas have to do with Harry Potter?] Just then, David Carradine/Elastic Dog jumped onto the set and kicked the both of them in the nuts. [Clappy: Speaking of dead, this joke was dead on arrival.] [SOF: *cricket chirps* Um...haha?] [Fred: ] [Jjs: Okay, what is with this nut kicking gag? What purpose does it add to the story? As you can tell by now, a lot of the "humor" in this lit is just not amusing, even if it is supposed to be stupid on purpose. I didn't even know David Carradine liked to kick people in the nuts...except he doesn't. I did absolutely no research on 80% of these actors, and they all come off equally bland and unfunny because of it.] [Trophy: Funniest thing we'll get with this.] [Hayden: Why not have Jex keel over and weep for his damaged and possibly lost balls? Then we'd have some soap opera feels.] "YEEAAAAAAAAHHHH!" David Carradine/Elastic yelled. [Wumbo: Roger Daltrey/David Carradine/Elastic??] [Trophy: ] Before it could go any further, the SBC members left the theater. [SOF: That bad, huh? Maybe I should follow them and leave too.] [Jjs: Wow, I couldn't even bother to write more of the play. Yeah, at this point you can tell even my past self knew this sucked.] [Hayden: Quitters! But yeah, that unrelated ball kick in the middle of an already choppy dialogue was enough of an indication that the plays were directionless gimmicks.] [Fred: Well, at least it ended on an interesting note. Not a good interesting note, but still interesting.] [Trophy: All around 50 of them at once? Wow, tough crowd.] [Clappy: I'm done.] "Alright, I couldn't take any more of that," Elastic said. "The fuck was that? I don't really have a long lost brother named Jex Kizuna, that was made up for the lulz," Ex said. [Fred: "For the lulz" is every SBC member's alibi for everything.] [Trophy: Except I didn't hear the rest of the audience laugh, and they're supposed to think it's a masterpiece, aren't they?] "Well, I am done with these piece of shit plays. I managed to get through the first one, but this one was just a pain within less than a minute," 70s said. [Clappy: I guess you could say it's like a metaphorical kick in the nuts?] "I say we rebel until they cancel it," Elastic said. [Fred: I say we tip something over!] [Hayden: Hear that Mysterious Boss? Don't underestimate the pettiness of SBC as a collective whole.] [Jjs: I doubt the theater will care what a bunch of people on a SpongeBob forum think if a bunch of unnamed people apparently love it and are giving them money-oh why am I even thinking about this.] "I can't wait to see how they fuck up everybody else's characters," Clappy said. [Clappy: For the lulz?] [Hayden: Too bad you won't since you've all abstained from future viewings.] "I admit, Justin Timberlake played me nicely," Seb said. [Jjs: Whatever you say, Seb.] [Seb: It's like he's my mirror!] [Trophy: Of course he did!] Act III http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3axqh6 [Jjs: The best part of the lit bar none.] [Fred: Man, Chuck Jones must be rolling in his grave now.] [Wumbo: Whoa! Comedy! There's a change of pace.] [Hayden: Now hear this, I value honesty, and that there boy Jjs doesn't have any.] [Trophy: He couldn't even write it out for us just to save our eyes.] [Clappy: Needs more neck snapping and nut kicking.] [SOF: And that really is all, folks...or is it?] _______ Notes/Trivia Character Debuts: Mysterious Boss [Fred: Played by Mysterious Actor.] [Clappy: No love for the debut of Brad Jones?] Play: Long Lost Brother (however, the users left the theater before it finished) [Fred: I left the theater before it even started. I win.] [Trophy: He already forgot the name was Jex...] [Hayden: How did that even count as an Act, let alone a play? Resolution man. I'd have forgiven it if you cut off the play early in order to have a confrontation with Mysterious Boss...but nope, nothing. The opening scene just left a bunch of hanging threads that didn't need to be made.] Looney Tunes Short: Now Hear This (AKA The best one ever) [Hayden: SBC: The Soap Opera (AKA The only and worst one ever)] [Trophy: Whatever you think. If it's SBC The Soap Opera, shouldn't he be writing the transcripts except with the actor/users in them? Oh wait, NO! That's physically impossible, and has nothing to do with goddamn soap operas! Why are you mixing in my classic cartoons with riffing material?] [Jjs: The best one ever? Whatever you say, mate. In all seriousness, SBC: The Soap Opera is usually considered to be one of my worst works. I'm inclined to agree, unfortunately. This may have been thankfully short, but it was just an awkward and unfunny waste of time from start to finish. I get the plays were supposed to be intentionally bad and unfunny, but even intentionally bad things can be hilariously written for satire. There was no punchline to them. The SBC members think the plays suck... that's it. I can't get much amusement out of the plays because they are just so oddly written, and felt like wastes of time. They had no real story other than just random shit I winged on the fly. For some of it, I was attempting to parody soap operas, but that failed because I did no research on the material, and soap operas are nothing like these. It fails at being a meta parody of SBC works at the time too. I came off rather pompous with that idea, and really didn't do anything with the whole "different type of SBC fanfic" (since I was going to repeat the whole "shady mysterious villain who is a hated SBC user" plot line), showing a confused vision. I will say the basic concept is intriguing, and the idea of actors replacing SBC members could have been potentially funny, but alas, I just didn't know what I was writing for this. I didn't know who the hell half the actors people claimed were, so there was Critical Research Failure into this too. Back in 2011, after I posted the 2nd chapter, I heard people were disliking this. It made me kind of upset at first...but in all honesty, they were right. I cancelled it because I looked back and knew this sucked. It just had no direction, and I threw in the whole "Mysterious Boss" thing to try to give it a story (which it lacked from the start), but I didn't even plan that out, either. I do think this could have worked, if I took it a little more seriously, gave it an actual story, and wrote actual JOKES, not random, strange things happening for the hell of it. I guess the fact it could have worked is why I'm disappointed in this the most. So yeah, I'm glad we got a look back at this strange piece of writing. I will admit maybe you can get some lulziness value out of this, but this definitely aged worse than I remembered. Honestly, this was really hard to riff on the whole because basically nothing was happening. I don't think this is one of the worst fanfics posted on SBC, but it is definitely one of the most useless. So yeah, that's my final two cents on this strange, strange, personal shame of mine. But hey, at least it would've let us see classic Looney Tunes shorts had it continued.] [Wumbo: In all seriousness, I think this could have been good. Emphasis on "COULD HAVE BEEN". SBC: The Soap Opera wasn't so much a soap opera as it was a variety show of sorts, which to my memory we haven't really had represented in the spin-off/lits section. If the writing wasn't so lazy and... well, honestly, just plain DUMB, then there could have been potential for this. But the shoddy writing plus the lack of confidence killed it before it got out of the starting gate. It's not the worst thing I've read, and I think the idea itself was interesting, but I really don't need any more of- *Mysterious boss walks in, snaps Wumbo's neck, walks out* Mysterious boss: Remind me why he came back again?] [SOF: In all seriousness, jjs is a good writer, but we all have a dud, and this short-lived lit was probably his. I thought this was pretty bad, and I consider this worse than SBCPU, since SBCPU at least had a story. It's not horrible (since there is some lulziness to it), or a lit that'll make a worst list of mine anytime soon, but it just felt like a waste of time. It tried to be funny, but it just didn't work. I really wasn't even a big fan of the whole "actors replacing SBC users" idea, but if jjs had put more effort into it like he said, it could have worked. As a parody it's just not a good one, since it doesn't really represent soap operas at all. If you want to see an actual good parody by jjs, look to SBC Falls, since he had actually knew what he was parodying. As a full-fledged story, it just didn't have much going for it. While I appreciated the Looney Tunes shorts, I'm not even sure why they were included at all. I can see why jjs cancelled it, and at least he stopped right here. I think really the biggest problem is that most of the humor just fell flat...hard, at least in my opinion. And that's saying something since I wrote ATTWL 3, but who am I to judge? This is SOF, signing off, and that really is all, folks!] [Fred: Now see, when I think of soap operas, I think about dramatic serial shows. I think about an opera about soap. I think about operas SUNG by soap. This literature felt like none of the three. While I do think an SBC soap opera would be an interesting idea, but the execution here is just sloppy........and odd. Seriously, this may be one of the oddest spin-off/lits I have ever riffed upon. SpongeOdd, even! Also, really really minor nitpick (and I'm not even complaining about this part, but still), I find it strange to add a Looney Tunes short to the end of what's supposed to be a soap opera. But I can't complain too much since it's clearly the best part of whatever this was. Those are my cents. See ya on the flip side.] [Clappy: Yeah, I don't have anything else to add to this that hasn't already been said. I previously stated last chapter that I hated this because of the way it was written. Now it's just a confusing mess that had no real direction. I don't know if this could have been salvaged or not if this continued. For it to be good, it would have required a MASSIVE reboot of the entire concept. What could have helped this a lot back then was if Jjs did his research on what soap operas are because soap operas themselves are ripe for parody. But unfortunately, what we got was a poorly written, unfunny mess...wait, did I say unfunny? That's not all true, I strangely loved the inclusion of Looney Tunes shorts. What can I say? Those cartoons helped me strangely adore the third acts, even though they served no real purpose. Curse you for exploiting my love of classic comedy.] [Hayden: Even though there's less crotch kicking in Looney Tunes, the plays that were written came off as things that could pass as Looney Tunes shorts with a little remodeling. Jjs didn't have any idea who the actors were (can't blame him), and he clearly wasn't writing a genre that he's ever seen more than 5 seconds of. Maybe he should've done a Lit about a bunch of cartoon characters swapping with SBCers, because then he'd be able to do all the slapstick that he wanted. The one positive is that at least Jjs wasn't writing about SBCers having sex and being caught up in love triangles. But yeah, this is probably the most mis-titled work we've riffed IMO.] 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel the Wolfgirl Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Can you guys riff my lit next, please? I don't think it's "bad", per se...but... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 These riffs were astounding considering you were tackling a short show where not much was happening. This lit is just a whole lot of bumbling around and not much else (like my crappy police story, but I digress). True, SBCPU was a whole lot of bumbling around, but at least that was while it was trying to tell a creative story (like SOF pointed out) and even take us to another world. Not just this, but most stories we riff are not at all irredeemable, they could just really use a reboot from the ground up. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Biden Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Quote "You guys may not have liked it, but many others thought it was a masterpiece," he said. Pretty much sounds like what everyone thinks of bad spin-offs/lits back in 2010 or something (i.e. Down Under). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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