Ask the Great Aya anything

[Cha]

i think bansai has been aware of every single "romantic venture" shinsuke has taken into his bedroom because shinsuke usually would strike upon clients they were working with and "work alone" with them in his room for a few hours. plus shinsuke butt dials a lot to bansai on voice mail accidentally 

"shinsuke where were you last night"

"how fucking dare you ask your captain tha-"

"2:34 am, Shinsuke goes to 7/11 to get a mango fruit juice.... Winds up in bathroom with cashier man three minutes later...."

"what, what the fuck. HOW do you know that and you have no proof anyways."

-bansai gloomily pulls out 44 voicemails on phone-

 

[Aya♥]

2 minutes ago, Cha♡ said:

i think bansai has been aware of every single "romantic venture" shinsuke has taken into his bedroom because shinsuke usually would strike upon clients they were working with and "work alone" with them in his room for a few hours. plus shinsuke butt dials a lot to bansai on voice mail accidentally 

"shinsuke where were you last night"

"how fucking dare you ask your captain tha-"

"2:34 am, Shinsuke goes to 7/11 to get a mango fruit juice.... Winds up in bathroom with cashier man three minutes later...."

"what, what the fuck. HOW do you know that and you have no proof anyways."

-bansai gloomily pulls out 44 voicemails on phone-

 

Bansai: Killed 9 times

[Aya♥]

"Auuugghh, my head...."  Gintoki didn't know where he was.  He felt dirt, so he knew he was finally home, but he was in immense pain.  He saw fire, people running and screaming, and then looked up and saw,

"Sadaharu?"  Sadaharu picked Gintoki up to his feet with his mouth.  Gintoki looked down and saw a large piece of metal protruding from his shoulder, and he was impaled in his side.  "What happened Sadaharu?"  Sadaharu just barked and dragged Gintoki out of sight into an alleyway.  "Sadaharu!"  Gintoki yelled, but he saw why he was being dragged out of the way,

  He saw Zura, Sakamoto, Skele, and Paku...Pakuwhom? being taken away in handcuffs by the Naraku.  Sadaharu dragged Gintoki into a small house where he saw a few familiar faces.

"Gin-san!"  Shinpachi ran over and hugged his injured mentor.  "We thought you were a goner...I'm glad Sadaharu was able to drag you here..."  Gintoki looked around, it was an empty lot with Shinpachi, Otae, and someone else sitting in the corner.

"Shinsuke?"  Gintoki asked.  Shinsuke raised his head, but swiftly put it back between his legs.

"Gintoki...it's a relief to at least see another one of us here...I was worried because your injuries seemed the worse out of all of ours....damn it!"  Shinsuke punched the wall next to him.

"What happened Shinsuke..."  Gintoki sat down, Shinpachi and Otae began to tend to his wounds.  Shinsuke was still staring at the wall,

"After you and Sakamoto passed out drunk, the ship...was boarded by the Naraku,"  Gintoki's expression turned to a shocked one.  "They knocked out the fat lad, and the ship crash landed here in Edo....Oboro has gone missing and the others were arrested.  I should have never left my eyes off of Zura, I'm such a fucking fool..."  Shinsuke was visibly starting to tear up, as his husband had be captured and he had no power to do anything, something he was not used to. 

"The whole Kabuki-cho district is in tatters.  Police, government officials, everyone is out causing a riot.  I'm just glad we could get you two to safety."  Otae said.  To the building next door, guitar strums from an acoustic instrument was playing.  "O-oh, and Kyuubei-chan is with Exploding Feminism next door, so we have plenty of back up."  Otae smiled awkwardly.

 "Why does he insist to sing so loud.  There are explosions, riots, gunfire happening outside and yet his stupid voice drains it all out."  Shinsuke punched the wall harder, exposing the band and Kyuubei on the other side.  Bansai stopped playing and sat his guitar down,

"You know Shinsuke, you don't have to be so rude.  You could appreciate my musical genius once in awhile."  Bansai looked annoyed.

"Shinsuke-sama!  I'm glad we're all ok~"  Matako said.  Shinsuke turned away from the hole,

"No, we're not...we're missing a family member."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Takasugi Koutarou, Joi Rebel.  Sakamoto Tatsuma, Joi Rebel.  Skeleton Bonestein, Joi Rebel.  Uhhhhh...Paku...hasa? You four are under arrest by the Tendoshu."  A man whose face was hidden shackled the four in separate jail cells in some remote location.  From the looks of it, the four made it out to be a ship heading off of Earth.

"You aren't getting any information out of me.  I would rather die then tell you where my husband is."  Katsura spat at the man.  The man wiped the spit off his face and turned towards the other three.  Skele, Pakuyasa, and Tatsuma remained silent.

"If you four remain silent, there will consequences.  Our leader will deal with you shortly when we arrive."  the man walked away as the ship propelled farther out of the Earth's atmosphere.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Phew, that was really hectic, glad traffic wasn't an issue with my airplane and shit."  Gendo plopped his baby bag down at the door of his shared apartment.  Shinji walked into his Dad's new place for the first time, it was heavily decked out in NERV stuff and a lot of things from the 80s.

"Who's stuff is this Dad?"  Shinji asked, pointing at a picture of Michael Jackson grabbing his crotch.

"Well, if it isn't Shithead Shinji,"

"Uncle Bill!"  Gendo let go of Gendo Jr, and the baby waddled towards the God and hugged his leg.

"Ayy Short Stuff, what's up!"  Billy picked up Shinji's brother and turned his attention back to Shinji.  Shinji didn't know how to react, the last time he saw this man, it was him being hilaryfan80d through the heart after he stepped on him with EVA 01.  "Ah, yeah, I forgot you weren't in Okinawa.  Probably for the better, right?  I'll just give you the run down before you jump to conclusions: after my brother healed me up, both Jazzy and the Jazz Man still wouldn't lift my ban on heaven.  I get it, ya know?  But, the allowed me to live back on Earth, so much as long as I don't try to destroy it again.  Fair bargain, I mind doing other things than playing Go Fish for all of eternity.  I pretty much had no where to turn to, so I thought, hey you know, let's try Socky.  Maybe that old sock still has a soft spot for his old assistant?  Nah, he turned me down pretty quickly.  But, when I heard NERV was shutting down, I thought, just maybe, I could reach out to Gendo.  Your father was going through a lot, EVA 01 being deactivated, his entire life being erased, and getting called Hasegawa by your only friends.  Gendo without thought let me room with him, as long as I got a job or something.  So here I am, God over your world working as an English teacher.  The kids call me Mr. Cool."  Billy put on shades he had in his pocket.

"Yeah, you look real cool with shades on inside."  Shinji said.  Billy shook his head and took his glasses back off,

"Shinji, I'm willing to forgive everything that happened to me.  I'm trying to make as much amends as possible to perhaps convince Father that I belong back in heaven with my brothers.  The least you can do is give me a chance...look how much your little brother digs me."  Gendo Jr was holding onto Billy's finger.  Shinji scratched his chin and sat down to think about this.  A man that sent him to hell and tried to kill him multiple times is trying to make up, it was a lot to take in.

"Y-you know Shinji...we have an extra bedroom..."  Gendo said.  Billy gave him a thumbs up and took Gendo Jr. into the baby room.  Shinji was shocked to hear his dad offer him a place to stay, let alone in his own house.

"I'll...I'll have to think about it, Dad."  Shinji said, looking down at the ground. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Abuto-kun, don't you think it's unwise to leave those three...alone?"  Monika asked.  Abuto shook his head and kept piloting the ship.

"No sweat, they have a lot to get off their chests, plus it's pretty fun playing captain."  Abuto said, putting Kamui's Long John Silver's paper hat on.  No Man rolled his eyes at this.

"Dog this is serious, what if they do something stupid?  You know that family, they're capable of destroying that planet."  No Man said,

"Hey, if I don't have to see that sad place again, that's fine by me."  Abuto said.

"Captain Abuto, we're detecting massive amounts of energy coming from Kouan."  4th said.

"Yare yare, brace yourselves."  Abuto said, as the ship shifted into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE and flew through space.  The ship or crew didn't know what was going to happen to their leader, but they all hoped he could find some closure and save them once again.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Well Joe, ya really got yourself in a pickle again huh?"  Joe was still tied up in the empty room.  The Nameless Man had left earlier, but never specified when he would return and what he would be doing.  "Too bad he can't back up his brains with those nonsense words he spewed."  Joe opened his palms and produced a crayon and notebook from both his metal arms.  "Too, easy.  Our first clue was that picture."  Joe managed to flick the crayon to his other hand with the notebook, and with crafty finger work, managed to draw a rough picture.  He tossed the notebook on the ground and said those magic words, "Blue skadoo'd, we can too!"  Joe shook in his chair and lept into the notebook, free from his bondage.  Joe smirked to himself and skadoo'd right back into reality.  Joe checked his pockets and noticed his phone and Shinsengumi radio was missing.  Joe picked the notebook back up and drew a crude radio receiver and took it out of the notebook.  He flicked the frequencies to his squad members,

"Hi out there, it's me, Joe!"  Joe called out.  The radio was silent for a bit, until he heard the familiar voice of Toshi on the other line,

"Joe?!  Where the hell are you?  Are you ok?"  Toshi was frantic.

"Don't worry Toshi, Joe Cool has it all under control."  Joe said, clicking the crude cartoon radio off.  Toshi picked back up though,

"Joe, something awful is happening here...the Naraku is here.  They've been destroying Edo in search of Oboro....hilaryfan80 is missing.  No one has heard from Shigeshige Shogun, nor those White Coats."  Joe's expression wasn't so cool anymore.  He didn't pick up the radio, only clutching his fist, turning it into a blade.  Joe kicked open the door he was being held in, which led to a normal looking Edo house.  It was dead silent, no movement, even the streets were silent.  He picked up it was late at night, but no sign of the Nameless Man.  Joe's detective skills kicked in, and started searching the area for some clues, Blues Clues.  He began rummaging through drawers until he eventually stumbled upon a letter.  Joe looked up,

"Our first clue!"  Joe unfolded the letter and began to read it.  "Hmm, so he DOES have ties to the Naraku and Utsuro.  He wasn't lying about that.  But, he's not the leader...why would he send out to destroy me and my brother?  Who sent you..."  Joe put the letter down as he felt a sword at the back of his neck.

"I should have known you were too smart...should have taken your arms off."  Joe recognized the Nameless Man's voice and raised his hands up.

"You sir, are the one who wishes you were smarter than me."  Joe flicked his finger and launched the blade formed from his hand straight into the Nameless Man's shoulder, knocking him to the ground.  Joe got on top of him and restrained him.  "Us here at the Shinsengumi have PLENTY of questions for you and your involvement with Utsuro."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Listen little lassy.  This here man is no good.  hilaryfan80, Shogun, y'all best not try anything fun neither."  Nobunobu planted his gun at the side of the already wounded Isaburo's head.  Nobume crumpled to the ground, she had never felt such a rush of emotions in such quick succession in her entire life.  Lightning was striking the forests and the Mal-Mart, causing sparks and loud thunder to shatter in the background.  Naraku began to fill the scene, The Shogun and hilaryfan80 putting up their hands.  Nobunobu waved the grunts to usher the two off in handcuffs.  A ship lowered into the empty parking lot.  "Y'all take them to the prison, y'know the one with the Joui Rebels."  Nobume's eyes lit up again,

"You...got his students also..."  Nobume some how managed to muster.

"Too easy I reckon.  Stirred y'all out of the way so they didn't have to deal with hilaryfan80, and I hired a pretty familiar goon to help take care of his brother."  Nobunobue said with slight cockiness.  "So, what to do with you two.  I guess I don't need to worry about your daddy here, reckon he'll bleed out rather quick like.  Guess that just leaves you little lady."  Nobunobu shifted the gun at Nobume.  He aimed, but before his could, the hand holding the pistol fell to the puddles on the ground, his wrist spilling out blood.  Nobunobu was stunned, before being knocked back about 20 feet by an unknown figure.  The figure stood in front of Nobume and turned to her,

"Mukuro, I sensed you were in danger...I see we still share that connect after all."

  The rain began to let up as Nobume looked up at her former fellow student,

"O-Oboro..."  Oboro helped her to her feet and picked up Isaburo.  The two looked up as the ship carrying hilaryfan80 and Shigeshige flew off, only leaving Nobunobu.

"Don't worry about him.  Take your boss to the hospital.  I can no longer be seen with you or anyone.  I'm a universally wanted man.  Mukuro, I understand the wrongs I've done.  I don't want to dwell anymore on the past, he told me himself.  The Oboro you knew in that prison cell is no longer the same man.  The Oboro you saw at the wedding is no longer the same man.  Through countless different timelines, this one is my true genesis.  My true beginning as a free man, free from the shackles of time.  Whether I die tomorrow, or in 500 more years, I want to make a difference for the better.  Now, if you excuse us, we're late for the final scene of next week's episode."  Oboro tipped his hat, while he and Poe walked away in the morning sunlight.  Nobume was speechless, but somehow, in her emotionless heart, broke a small smile,

"Idiot." she muttered.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Listen Kyu Kyu, we NEED to go out in this disaster and find that sweet black coat juiciness."  Bansai said, strumming his guitar more.

"If you ever call me that again I will break that stupid guitar over your head.  Anyway, it's far too dangerous to leave.  I'm sure the Shinsengumi are hiding in safety."  Kyuubei said.

"OH YOU CAN REST CAUSE YOU KNOW OTAE IS SAFE AND SOUND!"  Bansai yelled smashing the guitar against the hole in the wall, shrapnel hitting Shinsuke in the face.

  "Bansai I'm going to personally make sure you never step foot on my ship again."  Shinsuke began to rip the pieces of wood out of his face.

"Well, at least you're used to having wood on your face."  Gintoki was then met with the same shrapnel, hitting him in the Kintama.

"Gintoki, if you want to make fun of me now, it is definitely the WRONG time.  A man without his husband is like a cornered animal, I'll do anything and go through anyone to get him back."  Shinsuke said.

"Yeah, and I just want my Yammy."  Bansai said.  Shinsuke's arm reached through the hole and grabbed Bansai by the hair.  He smashed Bansai's face on the hole, shattering his glasses and his face.

"HE ISN'T YOUR """""YAMMY"""""  Shinsuke yelled.  Otae tried to defuse the situation, as all the roughhousing could get them captured.  Just as the thought crossed her mind, the door to EF's room opened up, and like some beaming angle, a large man with blue hair and a smaller black haired man stepped into the doorway,

"Hey Jimmy, it's that radical band, Emploding Feminism!"  Gonard said.  Bansai fainted, but perhaps that was from the wounds delivered by Shinsuke.

"Thank goodness, more survivors!  Come on guys, let's get you all to our hideout."  Yamazaki helped Bansai up to his feet, while EF, Kyuubei, Otae, Shinpachi, Gintoki, and Shinsuke all followed behind.

"I never thought I'd get help from a black coat."  Shinsuke scoffed,

"In this crisis, it's better to have more friends than enemies.  The enemy of our enemy is our friend as they say!"  Yamazaki said, still holding Bansai's arm around his shoulder.  Bansai cupped his face, but Yamazaki slapped it away,  "Here Gonard, you're stronger, why not lift him up so he stops touching my face."  Gonard heaved Bansai on top of his shoulder and began to sprint, knocking the wind out of Bansai,

"Your...sweet song..."  Bansai managed to say before passing out.

"What a tool."  Shinsuke remarked.

TBC

[kev]

who from total drama would be accepted into aya’s merica tho?

[Aya♥]

3 hours ago, kev said:

who from total drama would be accepted into aya’s merica tho?

Jacques

[Old Man Jenkins]

Rules of Extremity predictions?

[Aya♥]

5 hours ago, Old Man Jenkins said:

Rules of Extremity predictions?

Let's see if I can remember these off the tippy top of my head:

The Pee Teams takes on The Beaters of Meat for the tag team titles.  I've got the B Team, I don't see any way they don't win.

Team Heck No takes on SUPER MARIO BROTHAS TWOOOOOOOO for the SD tag team titles.  I've got Bryan and Kane, don't see them losing here, wouldn't make much sense.

Steenlizer takes on BRAAAAAAUUUNNNNNN in a steel cage match.  Should be good, thinking Braun wins here.

Bob Lash takes on THE BIG DOG, I've got Roman, it has to be him right.

Shinsuke Nak taking on Brother Nero for the US title.  No speak English.

I take on Dog Ziggler in an iron man match for the IC belt.  For sure going to be match of the night, pretty excited.  I've got Seth winning the belt back with 3-2 victory.

Team not America takes on IHOP in a tables match.  I've got Sanity winning here, only makes sense.

The Empress of Yesterday takes on Princess Peach for the SD women's title.  I'm thinking the end Carmellas run here and hand the title off to Asuka.

The girl not like most takes on the woman who never gets opportunities in an Extreme Rules match (the only one on the card).  I think Ronda is gonna play a part to the finish and Nia wins the title back.

RUSEV DAY takes on THE GAY COMMUNITY?! for the WWE championship.  Please God above let Rusev win I'll do anything just please for all that you do, give this man the ball and let him run with it.

[Cha]

chief's song to Billy, Baldy, Egghead Baldy and whoever else he really hates he plays this on full volume in the mess hall's big speakers?

-chief sitting on top of the mess hall giant speaker with it blasting-

Abuto: Chief, you little brat, you have to take your medicine. The doctors orders. 

4th: Come on Chief.

Chief: Well I hate you two having SEX with your girlfriend and boyfriend on MY SHIP. AND YOU DON'T SEE ME COMPLAINING!! -turns up song louder that the ship vibrates-

[Aya♥]

6 hours ago, Cha♡ said:

chief's song to Billy, Baldy, Egghead Baldy and whoever else he really hates he plays this on full volume in the mess hall's big speakers?

-chief sitting on top of the mess hall giant speaker with it blasting-

Abuto: Chief, you little brat, you have to take your medicine. The doctors orders. 

4th: Come on Chief.

Chief: Well I hate you two having SEX with your girlfriend and boyfriend on MY SHIP. AND YOU DON'T SEE ME COMPLAINING!! -turns up song louder that the ship vibrates-

this man will destroy his own ship in the sake of showing he hates something

[Cha]

"Come on dog, take your medicine already."

 

[Aya♥]

12 minutes ago, Cha♡ said:

"Come on dog, take your medicine already."

 

BONUS TRACK

[Cha]

Oboro sat at a restaurant's counter with Poe next to him on the counter. The two stared at their steaming ramen bowls for several minutes. It was an empty restaurant except him, Poe and the restaurant owner. The restaurant owner just looked at them in a weird way but continued to clean up her kitchen. Oboro knew he should have gone back to Tokyo and laid low during all of this. He was more wanted than any of the the terrorists in Edo combined. It was an odd feeling, he was use to arresting such individuals but now he was public enemy #1. He and Poe pulled their faces closer to their bowls until they dropped in the bowls.

"AAAAAAAAAH"

"CAAAAWWW"

They both yelled out in pain. The owner just rolled her eyes when wiping off the counters. They finally lifted each other's heads out of the food, their faces were red with third degree burns.

"We'll take two cups of cold tea now, if you don't mind Miss."

 

She put them on the counter and continued cleaning.

"I just don't know what to do Poe." Oboro begun slurping some of the noodle goodness. "I hate to admit it but.. I really ugh.. sort of.. man I can't do this." He put aside his chop sticks and buried his face in his palms. Poe lovingly pet his shoulder. "...CARE for those Jouis." Poe's beak dropped open. "I can't let them get hurt, Poe. It'll destroy me within. As Sensei told me in that dream but more importantly he told me in the real world to protect my junior students."

"I swear if I had a dollar for every outlaw with a pet bird came to vent at my noodle restaurant.." Ikumatsu stacked some hot freshly washed plates in a cabinet and then wiped off her face with a towel around her neck. She leaned her hand against the bar while looking at the empty kitchen.

"Mind if ask why you're open on such a day like this anyways, miss? Do you not know of the calamity outside? They're closing every shop right now in pursuit of well... me." Oboro confessed.

"Let them come and close it then. I've dealt with worse." She shrugged. "Besides, no matter what I do this place will be a magnet for screwballs anyways. Might as well keep the doors open." Ikumatsu commented. Oboro and Poe felt insulted but continued on. 

"You know what miss, I like your attitude. I should just let all these opposers come to me. I've dealt with worse too. What can the universe do to me that hasn't been done in another universe already?" Oboro said triumphantly and stood up. He downed the drink while Poe was eating up his food. Oboro nudged him. "Come on Poe, we shouldn't run or hide, outlaws or not we have to do something. We have to find Shiroyasha and Kiheitai."  

Oboro put a large wad of money from his actor's check on the table and left the restaurant. Ikumatsu picked up the roll of hundreds with shocked eyes and but then smiled.

"Katsura you airhead, I should punch or kill you for not showing me you had rich friends." Ikumatsu grinned while going through the money with her thumb. "Good luck out there one eyed jizz hair colored haired man. And tell that other one eyed man if he tries something with my long hair doofus waiter again during work hours like what he did last week I'll throw his piggy self in a pot to burn up in."

Oboro covered his face in a straw hat and kept his head down low, cautious at every step. 

"DAMMIT. WHERE'D HE GO." A man rushed around a corner, nearly knocking down Oboro and Poe themselves. Oboro readjusted his hat while looking a bit surprised.

"Joseph?" Oboro called out. Joe turned around to see him.

"Oboro! You! Tell me more about the Naraku. About that man." Joe pointed to him with his metallic arm.  

"Shhh, not so loud!" Oboro waved his hands. Joe pushed him into an alley to talk further.

-----------------

"You're lucky I was able to even find you on the street in all this commotion, pardner." Nobunobu kept looking at the road as the early morning sky coated the street in pink and yellow rays of sunshine. He was able to scrape by in his truck when Nobume carrying Isaburo away and the Naraku had carried ShigeShige and S+eve away. His mood was more serious than usual, especially with current pretenses. 

"Oh come on, you're the one causing all of this commotion pardner." The Nameless Man commented, adjusting his sunglasses he got from the glove department. He had escaped Joe when he wasn't looking, but knew that man along with his fellow cops would be on his tail eventually.

Nobunobu held a bloody cloth on his right wrist, where his hand use to be.

"Look at you now Shogun all banged up and such, what happened there? Aren't the people suppose to love their ruler?" Nameless added sarcastically. 

"The Tendoshu and the Naraku have had it up to here with that treacherous trader, Oboro." Nobu swerved the truckwith his one good hand, tilting it and catching the Nameless Man off guard. 

"Wohoho, cowpoke what's with the tension? Haven't you captured most of those Joui rebels by now?" The Nameless Man asked.

"Minus a silver perm and the other head of the Joui terrorists themselves." Nobunobu kept speeding off into the crisp dawn of a Thursday. ".....And You." Nobunobu aimed his gun at the man but he barely flinched.

"Hey now Woody, we had a deal. I help you round up all the opposers to your new hick government and you give me a free ride through all this chaos." Nameless took a hush puppy from the back of the truck but spat it out. "Stale? Really man?" Nobunobu then clicked the gun into position.

"I asked y'all to capture the strongest man in this universe, Joe. And you couldn't even do that right. You're a wimp. A wimp with no name. No family. Nothing. You're the most useless player here in this comic book world while acting like some chaotic power card and yet, somehow this leader of the country asked for your help." Nobunobu kept his eyes on the road, his bloody num arm was driving as his good hand still had the gun aimed. Nameless just smiled.

"Well Shogun, all I know is you did ask for my help out of the millions of allies you have in this country. You needed an inside source to the Jouis's locations. Or maybe you actually don't have any other allies to help you." He said and frustrated Nobunobu glanced at him for one second and continued to drive. "Does anyone besides the Naraku or even the Tendoshu want to even bother with you? Even a nameless ol' pardner like me wouldn't. Or maybe it's because you're too busy playing town sheriff with your infamous childhood head trauma accident that you can't see around to this." At this Nobunobu shot the man straight in the forehead. Nameless's bloody lifeless head hit the dash board with a loud thud.

"I do not have a head trauma. My mental actions and motivations are clearer than the bullet protrudin' from your forehead." Nobunobu put his gun back under his car and kept driving. It was silent for nearly an hour he'd occasionally glance at the dead body next to him to make sure of no funny business. He adjusted his mirror on the open and deserted road and then looked back at the shotgun once again. His mouth dropped open. 

"G....GONE?" Nobu looked up in the sky, at a ship leaving earth  at lightning speed. "That DAMN bastard..." Nobunobu floored it to the Shogun's castle to take refuge in for a few hours in.

-----------------

"Mother, Father, Grandmother. I know it's been quite some weeks since me and Kotarou visited you three. And I'm sorry about that, it's just always a busy schedule with terro- taxes. You know if it was anyone else's graves I wouldn't bother. Not even my own rotten ass parents' ones." Shinsuke was in a bowing praying position. "But I don't care how far we are apart, Kody and I. I promised I'd take care of him, that I'd be his 'General'. I just want him to feel happy, we just got done being separated a few weeks ago for stupid reasons so I know he hasn't completely recovered from that mentally. I know I haven't. I just want Kotarou to be safe with our own friends wherever they are right now. No matter what happens I'm gonna take care of them, take care of him, your boy."

"So this is where you ran off to you midget. Come on Shinsuke. At least act like a tsundere like you use to do when we visited Zura's family's graves. This sad man's act isn't you." Gintoki commented upon seeing him.

Shinsuke was too broken down to make a witty reply back, he just teared up instead. Gintoki got next to him and also went in a praying position.

"And what's this about you being Zura's only General? I thought you, me and Skele agreed to take shifts on that." Gintoki let out a little smile.

"I guess I got a little greedy being his husband and all." Shinsuke wiped off his tears on his cheeks and sniffed. He smiled a bit but then put his head down. "You know Gintoki. In some way I think I still hate Katsura."

"Hmm?" Gintoki looked at the tombstones.

"He looks and acts so much like Sensei, Gintoki. How am I suppose to forget about that horrid... horrid fucking man when my own husband emulates everything good that monster somehow had. Zura even wants to raise up a bunch of children and teach them about about a samurai's bushido. No matter what I do I can't escape Sensei." Shinsuke held his face in his hands.

"I don't think you should escape this." Gintoki said to him. Shinsuke looked up puzzled and wiped his good eye's tears. "What's wrong about Zura wanting to imitate the good things about our former teacher? You got Sensei's stubborn strong will anyways." Takasugi smiled warmly from this. 

"Maybe it isn't such a bad thing after all." Shinsuke said, him and Gintoki looked at Katsura's parents' graves. "By the way Gintoki, I totally heard you sniffling when you approached here in the graveyard. Can't handle hearing another man getting sappy about his family without you bursting into tears?"

"That wasn't me. That was uh, the leaves. I'm not the cry boy baby who pooped his pants at eleven years old and blamed Skele on it when Sensei asked." Gintoki then downed one of the sake offerings for Katsura's family, which made Shinsuke kick him in the face.

-----------

First Officer No Man’s personal log, star date 647: 

Ok.

WHO THE HELL IS MONIKA? 

Seriously man, it’s been nearly three weeks since she’s been on the ship and every dude aboard the Harusame is starting to take this normal. Y’all dogs who be reading this journal when I’m rich and famous (woo!) let me fill you in on what happened. So about two weeks after that doggin’ Okinawa accident involving those samurai dogs’ teacher, Chief, Big Man and I were doing some tradin’ business. Y’all know, the usual this shady dog gives us this stuff and we in return swap stuff with them that’ll be beneficial for whatever the hell their business is. One of the things we got was some stolen alien technology, it looked like a normal CD disc for a computer. Abuto thought it was cool to try it out to see what was on it, I thought it was aight I guess and Chief in his own words “that thing is as worn out and trashy as you, OLD man. Ha!”. So Big Man goes on puttin’ it in his quarters and you think that would be the end of that. But I also need to fill y’all homies on a side story that was dishin’ out while this was.

So Ossan has been pretty lonely lately, after well, what happened in Okiwana and Valentines Day all that shizz. And he and I had been pretty scarred by well, those weird ass magic love flower effects. (Not goin’ into detail exactly what happened between us, a dog’s got to have SOME of his dignity... Even though mouth wash and several bath salt scrubs won’t wash the memories and pain away...) So yeah the Big Dog feels lonely but whenever I take him out to the strip club scenes, he ain’t diggin’ on it. He tells me he wants a serious relationship, I jokingly tell him good luck with that. He gets desperate and turns to the Internet where he plays a game with some virtual... virtual HAHA OH DOG HE’S IN LOVE WITH A COMPUTER GAME GIRL! This is like some high Otaku level shit and let me tell you this recurring laughing stock became one of the only times me and Chief sort of bonded. We were laughin’ our asses off, always found ways to tease the Big Man over his digital crush. But how does that alien tech I talked about earlier have anythin’ to do with this? Well... You remember that CD I mentioned earlier? That was suppose to be some kind of computer boost technology that made your machine last up to fifty years.. but that wasn’t what happened.

One morning Big Man’s crib was flashin’ up mighty colors and I was coincidentally walkin’ by wit’ some popcorn. In a panic, I dropped my corn and flung the door open, some other of our Haru men came runnin’ up as well. Abuto’s room was a mess, papers, belonginin’s everywhere and he was taking cover under his bed. There was a HUGE, like five sizes bigger than Chief’s dream Slurpee, bright white light and crazy ass electricity boltin' in every corner of that room. I told my men to get behind me, I hid my eyes from burning out of my sockets from the intensity of the light and heat. I asked Abuto if he was alright, no answer but I didn’t think he was hurt, just taking cover from this mess I supposed.  Suddenly, I could hear more electric currents and it was very dangerous at this point, dogs. I decided to do a ballsy move my dogs and look up for one second, for one second I swear to god I saw someone’s figure comin’ out of Abuto’s computer which was the source of all this crazy ass amount of power. The electric currents buzzed louder, I helped Abuto from under his bed and I ordered our men to take cover outside the room as Big Man and I also did. Those god damn currents got even fuckin' louder somehow. We covered our ears and a loud blast went off.  Loud enough to completely destroy Abuto’s room and caused a hole in the ship, crazy shit amirite? But you think THAT’S crazy? Wait ‘til yo dogs hear this part, it’ll outweigh the others.

After the health team members gave us the a-okay to go back into Abuto’s bedroom, they warned us about something else inside there. There in Abuto’s bed sleepin’ was a girl, I’d say probably Chief’s age, 18. She had reddish long hair with a white bow and was wearin' some kind of school uniform. But she was layin' there snoozin' with a little smile on her face like it was the most natural thing in the world! Obviously we thought she might have been some stowaway teen on the ship from our last mission. But then with every few seconds, she glitched and her body became pixels. Like some kind of sneeze reaction I guess? I flinched back as did my men. I went to call security but Abuto stopped me. He told me I can’t believe she’s real and the Big Man himself surprisingly got all emotional about it. Despite my wishes for caution he went over and nudged her sleepy pixelated head awake. And that’s where my nightmare begun. 

Okay so she’s this technological supernatural being brought from this Amanto CD disc or whatever sure okay. She SCARES me dog. In ways I didn’t even know possible and places where I didn’t know I could pee myself from her jump scares I mean she’s creepy dog. She’ll act all nice aboard our ship which has gained her popularity and favor among even our toughest and weather beaten pirate members. I just think honestly with our sausage fest on the ship they just like seeing a sight for sore eyes. She’s not only pleasin’ to look at (their own words, don’t hit me Big Dog) and kind to them, that alien technology of hers makes her some powerful glitch able to shoot electricity from herself, teleport at the speed of the Internet or grow to different sizes and shapes.

What’s more surprising is, guess who likes her.

And y’all KNOW from previous journals of mine when this man takes a liking to you he’ll never let you go. Chief. Chief! And Chief made her his head of security in a matter of days, WHAT? He threw out the old head a window into space and made HER the lead? Some one we barely knew? To be fair, the crew use to view me that too though. I was the underdog my dogs. I also came out of nowhere and suddenly rose to a high rank in the senior staff on the ship. But this pixelated girl is different, dogs.

 I did some diggin’ on the web and found out "Monika" is some kind of psychopath who “””eliminates””” her fellow schoolmates (which is another word for kill them) in order to get with the person playing the game, aka Abuto. What’s even worse, this Glitcherina always knew she was in a video game, even when she was INSIDE it. Monika talks about it frequently how she’d always wanted to come aboard our ship ever since Abuto inserted the CD in his desktop..... CREEPY. And the worst part is she loves to jump scare this poor dog with the most freakiest face she can morph on her digital self. Now I absolutely know why Chief loves this glitch girl and made her have a high rank up on this ship because she’s on innocently grinnin' on the outside and psychopathic and murderous on the inside. Just like he is! It's a perfect pair in S heaven! I barely feel safe with Chief lurking the halls at night and now how in the fucking hell am I suppose to feel safe at night sleeping on my pillow with some video game character from hell “looking after and protecting” me and my crew?! A-am I the only one who fears she’ll think flip out hard? I honestly believe she’ll try to kill me soon or the others who get too close to her boyfriend Abuto!! What’s even worse I don’t thin-

"Hey No Man! What's up my favorite First Officer?" She smiled and saluted her superior.

"NOTHING!" No Man tossed up his clip board journal with his pencil in fear but then plastered on a fake nervous smile. "N-nothing's up...Pixelsaurus- I mean Monika. Haha.."

"Well Abuto wants you to come to the bridge of the ship right away, there's something you need to see. Whenever you're available of course." Monika told him kindly.

"O-okay.. What does Big Man need-"

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" No Man fell to the floor, covering his head. Monika returned to her normal state and smiled warmly again.

"But yeah he really needs to see you about Chief Kamui." She chuckled lightly. No Man slowly got up holding his bruised shoulder he fell on but still was on guard in case this would happen again, which he knew it would. "But I suggest you cleaning up first!" He looked down to his drenched trousers and sighed while walking in the direction to his bedroom quarters. "And don't be late, as Head of Security it's my job to take out the trash. I'll just have to throw you out into the trash composer and into the vacuums space to perish.... Tee hee! Just joking of course, No Man." No Man looked even more sick while walking away.

"Hey Abuto, I got No Man!" Monika said on the bridge and her boyfriend gave her a cool fist bump handshake.

-----------

Kamui, Kagura and Umibozu were beaten up and bloody as hell at this point. But Kamui had managed to run a bit faster than them because he saw a ship approaching the desolated Rakuyou area.

"HERE'S your stupid Altana energy." Kamui huffed and puff on top of the hill and threw the briefcase containing the juice from one of the creatures on Koukan. On the hill were a few familiar Harusame representatives who had just arrive on the ship.

"KAMUI NO!" Kagura called out.

The man just stared at the briefcase and shrugged.

"Yeah about that. Turns out we didn't want that." The man told him. 

"WHAT?!" Kamui's eye balls were about to bulge out of his eye sockets he grabbed the man by one hand and lifted him up.

 "We've known for a while your sector has been slipping on duties for quite some time, Kamui. But ever since teaming up with well." The man managed to get out of Kamui's grasp, some Tendoshu members stepped forward as did an unknown man with no name. This unknown man had a large blood stained bandage wrapping around his head as if it had gotten a nasty wound not that long ago. Kamui was shocked but not too surprised. "You should have connected the dots Kamui, why would we request you get us Altana when we were going to execute you and your crew anyways for neglecting your duties. Such as human trafficking, stealing several goods and whatever else we want you to do."

"Why should I exactly follow every order baldy? Aren't pirates suppose to be having their own fun?!" Kamui smiled.

"So that's why that little brat was avoiding his duties?" Umibozu said to himself quietly while him and Kagura were listening by closely. Umibozu felt even more sorrowful for Kamui. If Kamui was willing Umibozu might even say straight to his face that he was proud of his son.

"I was doing my own research, you know knowing Utsuro and all from the Joui war time." The Nameless Man looked and down at Kamui and had Tendoshu members seize Kamui. He tried kicking out of the arm holds but the Naraku members put pressure points in his arms and legs, causing Kamui to slow down. "The Tendoshu have controlled the Harusame for a while now, you at least should have known that boy. Being one of the most highly regarded space captains... or you were anyway." 

"What does this have to do with Shinsuke's Sensei or me you goat bearded old man. HA!" Kamui tried spitting on him but his energy was draining from the poisonous darts. "Why is simple poison slowing a goddamn YATO down?"

"I had those darts yato poison sized naturally since you Amanto freaks seem to be immune to even the highest dose legal on death." The Nameless Man shrugged. "Anyway, you have a lot to do with Utsuro. Why in some ways you two are one in a kind!" Kamui gave him a confused and disgusted look. "Why you're both Altana carriers."

"Oh no.." Umibozu ran up to the hill and avoided as many poison darts as possible, but it he slipped upon arrival and got several darts in him. He fell to the ground near restrained Kamui.

"PAPI!" Kagura yelled out but a few Naraku members restrained her as well.

"Baldy bastard don't get involved. Not now." Kamui spoke in a rare serious tone and looked ahead. "I'm not an Altana carrier. My mother was. She's dead and gone now. But I am not, nor is my little sister."

"Altana?" Kagura looked confused.

"Well I think you two are both lying." The Nameless Man ordered to have Kagura and Kamui on a ship to be studied at in the Tendoshu headquarters. They kicked as hard as they could but were under the poison's controls. Kamui kicked one of them in the head, causing the man's head to burst like a grape. The other men in a panic shot twenty more darts in his neck when he was not paying attention, slowing him down more.

"W-what about my ship.. You fucking idiots better not kill any of them.. we had a deal. Even it's not the same deal it's still me or them." Kamui was getting drowsy but spoke in still a very serious, intimidating tone, it even intimidated Kagura a bit. She looked surprised at her careless older brother though. His actions were much different than they might have been up until this point, they were more heartfelt. 

"It's being torn down and burned down for interrogation. If they don't cooperate we will use all forms of physical torture. We WILL find out that you two are hiding immortality in a troubling time like this where great men like Utsuro are destroyed because of it..." He shook his fists. "People with that immense power, you, Utsuro, Oboro, S+eve, Joe all of them. Need to be contained. It's not a far game if everyone's not on equal footing in this comic book, now is it?" The Nameless Man flicked Kamui's nose, which if he was fully awake would have teared that man's whole arm off. Nameless then walked in his own ship with Naraku surrounding him. 

"What.." Kamui looked confused and played like a fool for one of the few times in his life. He passed out as Kagura was crying as they were being carried on a special Tendoshu ship. Umibozu was taken with them for further questioning as well.

First Officer No Man's Side Personal Log:

But that's what worried me the most even more than Glitcherina right now... Chief. In some ways we were somehow alike me and him. We were floating through time trying to make someone out of ourselves with no parents to call our own. I just.. hope things go well with him. As much as Chi- Kamui hates them, he has no idea how lucky he is having an alive family who loves him so deeply as they do. That they understand he's scared. Scared of becoming a better person as all of us on the ship have become in this past half year. That his family wants to help him become his inner great self. And as much as we do, he's the heart of our ship. Our family.

TBC

[kev]

skraaaaa?

[Aya♥]

19 minutes ago, kev said:

skraaaaa?

aaaaaaaaaaaa

[kev]

i see u work at the walmart??

[Aya♥]

8 hours ago, kev said:

i see u work at the walmart??

I do

[Cha]

Here's to the most scary and threatening group of people BRIDE TRIBE?

 

[Aya♥]

3 hours ago, Cha♡ said:

Here's to the most scary and threatening group of people BRIDE TRIBE?

 

look at all those wonderful ladies, Shinji, Gintoki, and Yammy are lucky dudes to hang out with them

[Cha]

“hello yes, what would make my happy hour really happy would be some pork belly noodl-“

-iku points to sign-

-later-

“zura your ex-girlfriend is a cuck who yelled at me for no reason”

[Aya♥]

1 hour ago, Cha♡ said:

“hello yes, what would make my happy hour really happy would be some pork belly noodl-“

-iku points to sign-

-later-

“zura your ex-girlfriend is a cuck who yelled at me for no reason”

Banned from every ramen shop in Edo