My Rambling/Praising/Reviews About Assorted Things, Mostly Music

[CyanideFishbone]

So...

 

1. "She Looks So Perfect" by 5 Seconds of Summer

Actually, no

[CyanideFishbone]

Well... I guess it's time. 

 

BUTTERS TOP 5 WORST SONGS (AS OF JANUARY 2015)

 

So, without further ado, some rules:

-One entry per artist

 

Yeah. So without any further ado...

 

5.

Oh.. Santa Dog isn't going to be very happy with my number 5 choice.

 

5. "Constantinople" by The Residents (1978)

 

(Foreward) Warning... There's uhh... some shots of CGI male genitals....

 

Keep in mind that I am not going to make a statement on The Residents as a whole. I heard a few other songs by them, and they were okay. Avant-garde isn't my thing. But this doesn't stop this song from being terrible. It's just.... what. What is this. YES, I know it's avant-garde and it's supposed to be all weird and expiremental, but this is just a complete mess. I don't know if that's the point, but as i've stated before, I still just... don't like this. It's just off. The lyrics are pretty bland, pretty much just being HERE I COME CONSTANTINOPLE HERE I COME CONSTANTINOPLE I AM COMING CONSTANTINOPLE. There are some different lyrics, but that's really it. And the instrumentals... just awful. Sorry Santa Dog.

 

The video isn't too bad. It's weird, and I think that's what they're going for. The animation isn't too great, but as i've stated, I think that's what they're going for. And yeah, this random fat CGI guy flying in the air. But i'm not going to question it. 

 

Hint for #4: The most recent song on this list. 

[Burgerpants]

get out

[Doctor Sex]

[Elastic Dawg]

I can get that you don't like them, but...bland? Huh?

[Clappy]

I wouldn't call this good, but this is far from bland.

[CyanideFishbone]

I wouldn't call this good, but this is far from bland.

 

I can get that you don't like them, but...bland? Huh?

 

Only the lyrics are bland. 

[CyanideFishbone]

4. "Cool Kids" // Echosmith

 

Oh indie pop. On the good side, you've got The Killers. On the other side, you've got... Echosmith. From what I have learned, Echosmith is a fairly new indie pop/rock band. As I stated before with Constantinople, I have not heard much from Echosmith, but this song... It's just... hard to listen to. Mainly from the vocals. I can't stand the vocals. All I hear is "I WISH THAT I CULD BE LYKE DUH KEWL KIDZ" and that's really it. I just don't like the singer's voice. I know a singers voice tends to be in the eye of the beholder; you have your own stance. People tell me how much they don't like Billy Corgan or Geddy Lee's voice, but honestly they're fine. Anyways, let's look at the lyrics. I didn't for Constantinople because it's pretty much "HERE I COME CONSTANTINOPLE HERE I COME CONSTANTINOPLE I AM COMING CONSTANTINOPLE"

 

She sees them walking in a straight line, that's not really her style.
And they all got the same heartbeat, but hers is falling behind.
Nothing in this world could ever bring them down.
Yeah, they're invincible, and she's just in the background.
And she says,

"I wish that I could be like the cool kids,
'Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in.
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids."

 

Yup. It's one of those "songs". The ones where they always bitch about how they want to be cool and all this shit. The lyrics aren't too bad, it's just... the chorus is pretty bland. 

 

He sees them talking with a big smile, but they haven't got a clue.
Yeah, they're living the good life, can't see what he is going through.
They're driving fast cars, but they don't know where they're going.
In the fast lane, living life without knowing.
And he says,

"I wish that I could be like the cool kids,
'Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in.
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids.
I wish that I could be like the cool kids,
'Cause all the cool kids, they seem to get it.
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids."

 

Sentence isn't half bad. It rhymes this time, but it's that damn chorus, and as i've stated, the singers voice. God I can't stand that voice. Bland chorus.

 

 

"I wish that I could be like the cool kids,
'Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in.
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids.
I wish that I could be like the cool kids,
'Cause all the cool kids, they seem to get it.
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids."

And they said,
"I wish that I could be like the cool kids,
'Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in.
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids.
I wish that I could be like the cool kids,
'Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in.
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids.
I wish that I could be like the cool kids,
'Cause all the cool kids, they seem to get it.
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids."

Whoa [3x]

Like the cool kids

(Lyrics from AZLyrics. Just needed to credit them so it woulden't be plagerism)

 

Repeating your chorus a million times. The bland chorus. Did I also mention that the chorus has the worst vocals of the whole song? I can't stand the chorus "I WISH DAT I CULD BE LIKE DUH KEWL KIDZ!!!1111!!!" And the TOLERABLE parts make up like 1/3 of the whole fucking song!

 

Badly done... Badly done, Echosmith....

 

And we're getting into the real shit when we enter #3. All the bands up to #1 I absolutely detest. 

 

#3: The abomination of all metal. 

[Clappy]

Real slim pickings of music you actually listen to if you find a pretentious pop song from last year to be one of the worst songs of all time.  I'm not defending Cool Kids or anything.  It's catchy, but whiny.  I think this kind of song about people wishing they could fit in has been done far worse and far whinier:

 

[Wumbo]

"Cool Kids" fucking sucks but it's not even the worst song of 2014 man.

[CyanideFishbone]

"Cool Kids" fucking sucks but it's not even the worst song of 2014 man.

Thanks for sharing your opinion. 

 

Anyways, the list will probably be finished tommorow. I don't know why but i'm really enjoying this. 

[Doctor Sex]

Im still confused on how the lyrics in that Residents song are bland.

[CyanideFishbone]

Im still confused on how the lyrics in that Residents song are bland.

It's pretty much just "HERE I COME CONSTANTINOPLE HERE I COME CONSTANTINOPLE I AM COMING CONSTANTINOPLE HERE I COME" There's a few others, but that's it.

[Doctor Sex]

Hows that bland

[CyanideFishbone]

Here we go…. *deep breath*

 

3. "Surrounded By Silence" // Design The Skyline (2011)

(Warning, lots of screaming and crap. Yeah, sort of ironic considering the title.)

 

Oh… Design the Skyline.. Motherfucking design the goddamn skyline..

 

You suck. You fucking suck.

 

You see, this one's got a story. For fun, me and my cousin like to listen to bad music sometimes. He kept telling me how god-awful this piece of shit band is. I've heard plenty of shit bands in my life time, like Pierce The Veil, Sick Puppies, Puddle Of Mudd, etc and couldn't think it was that bad. Then I listened to it.

 

Holy shit. What the fuck is this.

 

This is just… a mess. It's a complete mess. It sounds like someone was really pissed so they just screamed in a microphone for 4 minutes, added some electronic beats to it, and called it fucking music. Or metal. The fact this shitstorm is called metal just pisses me off. Yes, it's screamo and screamo is metal. But this.. is like… electronic screamo. Let's look at the lyrics.

 

Through the forest
climbing trees
swinging vines
with the breeze.
Adventuring through a mystic forest.
I'm trying hard to hold on to, these vines of life that break through you.
The bliss of natures kiss saves me from my black abyss.
I taste the salt drip onto my lips,
missing the touch of your finger tips.
Pacing back to and fro I don't know where to go.
I'm so lost.
Fragile like paper, elastic as rubber,
my heart searches for another.

 

What is this. It doesn't sound like the song. The song sounds more like "SCREAMY BOO WHAT THE HYEALL!" The lyrics are so boring too. It's just, boring.

 

Oxygen in the air breathes into my soul.

Where they fall divides us all
Shows your scares and reads disgrace
This careless life
Everyday before this day you let the earth fade away.
Now with vines holding tight you finally see the light.
This care this care this care this careless
Life we life we life we life we live

 

Still bored. These lyrics make me want to go to fucking sleep. 

 

Trying to hold on to these vines that
BREAK THROUGH YOU!
Tangled
Thorns piercing your heart.
The pain
Has just begun to start.

 

Still bored. It's just the screaming keeping me awake.

 

Anyways, though, the first 30 seconds (The electronic instrumental part) Isn't too bad. Then the vocals come in. I hate to use it, but I have to:

Well, that escalated quickly.

 

Anyways, this is just a complete mess and just… Angers me.. It's gonna get worse, and we all know it.

 

Clue for #2: Probably my most hated band.

 

Oh, and by the way. Here's where I got the lyrics:

http://www.lyricsmania.com/surrounded_by_silence_lyrics_design_the_skyline.html

[Elastic Dawg]

Now THERE'S some truly abhorrent music.

[CyanideFishbone]

Here we go. The grand finale. I'll be posting both #2 and #1.

 

2. "Rockstar" // Nickelback (2005)

 

Oh… Chad Kroeger…. Chad fucking Robert Kroeger..

 

FUCK YOU.

 

Sorry, just had to get that out of my throat.

 

While I do think Something In Your Mouth is a bit worse, one entry per artist, but I still hate this more. This song in my opinion, just contributed to modern rock's crappiness. Some modern rock bands are okay, but when they're bad, they're baaaaaad. And this is a prime example. I hate how it's all country.

Oh Nickelback, you're my second least favorite band of all time. Your awful songs. Your awful vocalist. The ONLY positive thing I can say about this pile of shit is at LEAST it's a bit different from Nickelback's normal topics (Getting laid, smoking crack, hookers, getting drunk, etc) And that's all I can do justice for this complete piece of shit.

 

Let's get to the lyrics.

 

I'm through with standing in line
To clubs we'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
And I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be

(Tell me what you want)

I want a brand new house
On an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
For ten plus me

 

The first verse is bad, but the second one just shows how fuckin' bad this piece of shit is. A bathroom you can play baseball in? WHY IN THE LIVING FUCK WOULD YOU WANT A BATHROOM THAT FUCKING BIG? HOW IS THIS SHIT EVEN POSSIBLE? And a tub for ten plus me? It's called a pool.

 

(So what you need?)

I'll need a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club at thirty-seven thousand feet

(Been there, done that)

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and James Dean is fine for me

 

If you watch the music video, there's some old dude in a chair with skulls saying the parts in parenthesis. Just… what. A big jet with a bedroom in it actually isn't half bad and better than this other dumpster sludge Chad Kroeger threw at us. It's tamer then all the rest of the lyrics, but they're still bad.

 

(So how you gonna do it?)

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

[Chorus:]
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's gonna wind up there
Every Playboy Bunny with her bleached blond hair, and well

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

 

Just… what the fuck. Why would you want to drive fifteen fucking cars? Maybe i'm looking into it a bit much, but just… What the fuck Chad Kroeger. It's common knowing you're a asshole and a bad musician, but why?

 

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs so I can eat my meals for free

(I'll have the quesadilla, ha, ha)

I'm gonna dress my ass with the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to blow my money for me

(So how you gonna do it?)

 

The most laughably stupid part of the song. When "ill have the quesadilla" comes. It just sounds so fucking stupid in the song. I always laugh when it happens. Oh, and the chorus repeats after this.

 

And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial, well

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I'm gonna sing those songs that offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills from a pez dispenser
I'll get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip sync 'em every night so I don't get 'em wrong

 

I know all your songs are about hookers, drugs, getting laid, etc, but popping pills from a pez dispenser… WHAT….. THE FUCK. Just… what. I can't get over that. Yes, I know you probably smoke a bunch of crack Chad Kroeger. That's all you sing about anyways, but what the hell.

 

And the chorus repeats again, and the first line above. POOR CHAD KROEGER.

 

Yes, Something In Your Mouth is technically worse, and Animals and Photograph are still pretty damn bad, but I still hate this more. And the video is just really bland. It's just people talking. It's just pretty stupid

 

Hint #1: Just… what.

Oh yeah, lyrics from AZLyrics. 

[CyanideFishbone]

I can't...

I used to think bands like Sick Puppies were bad….

And Pierce The Veil…

Well…. here we go. The void of all musical decency. What Urban Dictionary describes as "Satan sticking his penis in your ear."

Listen at your own risk.

If you become mentally insane because of what… EVER THE HELL THIS IS. I sincerely apologize.

I'm going in.

You've been warned.

1. "FreaXXX" // BrokeNCYDE (2009)

 

What… the fuck is this.

Oh crunkcore. The worst genre in my opinion. I realized how bad this fucking genre was when I heard Blood On The Dance Floor. I remember the night I heard this.

My cousin kept telling me how bad BrokeNCYDE was (like Design The Skyline) and I finally decided to listen to this. I'm pretty sure half of my brain died when I listened to this. I was just completely blown away by this. It's like Blood On The Dance Floor was worse, and got combined with auto tune, and throw a bit of Hot Topic in there. If I can give Blood On The Dance Floor anything, at least they're not as bad as this piece of shit and don't use auto tune every fucking second.

 

I walk into the club looking kind of sexy now.

 

I see these shorties in the corner, they started making out.

 

They pull their panties down, they take their pants off.

 

Then they started getting freaky on the dance floor.

WHAT. Don't you take off your pants first? I know nonsensical lyrics are a thing, but this doesn't stop this from being baaad.
 

Shake it mommy give it to me like you need some love.

 

I got some bottles in the caddy that we can open up.

 

Let's get drunk tonight, baby we don't have to fuck.

 

And bring your friend along, maybe we can have some fun.

 

Let's get freaky now, let's get fucking freaky now.

[x4]

 

 

I got these bitches all tipsy trying to sex me.

 

I know they want it, alcoholics are some sex freaks.

 

This ex and chronic gots me wanting to get messy.

 

So let's get messy girls, come on let's go get messy girls.

 

Come on bitch, you know you want this.

 

That hardcore shit will make you feel the toxic.

JUST… WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. It's a song about fucking and alcohol. I get it, but just what. The actual voices of these morons just taunt me while i'm reading this. It's just what.
 

Fursachi, Rolex watches.

 

Bently coups with the 20's droppin.

 

Convertible top, and the wheels spin.

 

I can taste that ice when my grill is in.

 

If you want me baby feel me in.

 

'cause I don't waste my time with lesbians.

 

Let's get freaky now, let's get fucking freaky now.

[x4]

Now you're talking about cars. And that stupid chorus. Also, after this, they drop their music for… screaming in girl's ears. What. AND WHAT'S WITH THAT FUCKING PIG IN THE MUSIC VIDEO?

Liar! [x8]
Oh baby why did you have to lie to me.
I can't play no more games.
These thoughts are slowly controlling me.
You're turning off the flame.
So go baby go baby.
You don't want me.
So go baby go baby.
Come and get me.
So go baby go baby.
You don't want me.
So go baby go!
Come and get me.
Let's get freaky now, let's get fucking freaky now. [x4]

Coulden't you just put the 8 "LIAR"'s after you say "Oh baby why did you have to lie to me?" Are you seriously that bad? Did you even PROOFREAD this before making this piece of shit? Or did you make it up right on the spot?

And that was… FreaXXX… by BrokeNCYDE. And that's a stupid band name. I know it's supposed to mean "Broke Inside" but that wording doesn't make you all "hip" and "trendy" or any shit. It just looks stupid. Go back to New Mexico and stay off my music radar.

I guess you could say I won't be BROKENCYDE when they break up!!!!!!

(That was awful. Coulden't resist though.)

Have a good day, folks.
Oh, and lyrics from AZLyrics.

[Burgerpants]

brokencyde 

[CyanideFishbone]

brokencyde 

Yeah. They're pretty damn bad.