Elastic Dawg Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Wumbo? Never heard of it "We Are Young" by Fun. Fuck this song. It sucks. I'm gonna beat the lead singer up. I'll kick his ass. He's not even that young. He's a dirty old man making awful music for a generation of shitheads who eat this shit up like a Vietnamese hooker at a coke party. 0/10 wouldn't bang. Okay, the vietnamese hooker would get at least a 7/10. Not fun., though. They need to stop. "Me So Horny" by 2 Live Crew Oh hey, this song's honest about what it's talking about! That's what fun. needed more of. Pornographic and obscene lyrics. That's what more pop needs in general. Not this sunshine-up-the-ass shit. More like, cock-up-the-ass shit. FUCK YEAH. HONESTY. That rules. And no, I don't mean anal. Okay I do. But that doesn't make a difference in the long run. This song rules. Better than fun. 10/10 would bang "Donkey Dick" by the Mentors This is a very deep and important song to me. It speaks to my soul and has helped through many tough times. I have a total crush on El Duce <333 he's so cute. He's funny too. He's my ideal man. One day i'm going to get married to him. He's such a beautiful human being. I'm gonna be the Mentors number one fan and lady. i'll keep them happy 10/10 would bang "In The Aeroplane Over the Sea" by Neutral Milk Hotel Oh my god shut up. "Adam's Song" by Blink-182 Speaking of oh my god shut up, oh my god shut up. No one cares. Go back to singing novelty songs about growing up or swearing or whatever. I don't even like you when you're not being serious, but at least when you do that, you're not...this. 0/10 wouldn't bang "How You Remind Me" by Nickelback I swear this is the last in my "oh my god shut up" series (for now...) but...oh my god shut up. You make the shittiest music imaginable and make millions of off the poor suckers who enjoy it. Stop whining. I'm pretty sure you made it as a wiseman, because selling shitty music like this to the dumb masses is admittedly a brilliant idea. That doesn't change anything, though...okay, 1 extra star. Also, Chad Kroeger kinda looks like Joan Osbourne with a beard. So that's pretty funny. that's another extra star. 2/10 still wouldn't bang "Sweet Child 'o' Mine" by Guns 'n' Roses Okay, I swore the last one would be the final in my "oh my god shut up" trilogy, but, fukkit here's another. It opens with the shittiest/most irritating guitar riff of all time, and gets progressively worse from there. Like, shut up, Axel. No one cares. Keep G'n'R to funnibad cock rock, not...this shit. Back to Slash, though. Granted, he's done some pretty cool riffs, but this shit really? I've heard people call this one of the "best guitar s0ngz ev0r!!!1", and i'm gonna go find them all and beat them up. 1/10 wouldn't bang at all "Bad Penny" by Big Black Gonna end this post on a positive note. Big Black are legends and Steve Albini is a god. He's cynical and funny. I like cynical humor. He's pissed off, but doesn't make shitty music to show it off. He actually makes great fucking tunes to show it off, and has a fucking sense of humor about (which 99.9 percent of these artists) don't. Also, that fucking bass riff...pure bliss. THEN I FUCKED ALL YOUR FRIENDS GIRLFRIENDS, NOW THEY HATE YOU! 11/10 couldn't bang enough Always more to come. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E.V.I.L. Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Best. reviews. ever. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragiiin123 Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 and one day we will fly and our ashes will fly from our aeroplane over the sae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elastic Dawg Posted July 13, 2013 Author Share Posted July 13, 2013 and one day we will fly and our ashes will fly from our aeroplane over the sae more like aeroplane over IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumbo Posted July 13, 2013 Share Posted July 13, 2013 Oh my he does look like Joan Osbourne with a beard hahahahaha Respectfully disagree with some of those opinions, but maybe I should make my own thread about it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgerpants Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 On 7/12/2013 at 0:45 PM, Elastic Dawg said: (post grunge shit) oh my god shut up. You make the shittiest music imaginable and make millions of off the poor suckers who enjoy it. Stop whining. I'm pretty sure you made it as a wiseman, because selling shitty music like this to the dumb masses is admittedly a brilliant idea. That doesn't change anything, though...okay, 1 extra star. Also, Chad Kroeger kinda looks like Joan Osbourne with a beard. So that's pretty funny. that's another extra star. 2/10 still wouldn't bang Have I mentioned how if words were food, Elastic would be the renowned french chef whose meals have to be ordered a year in advance? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 I wonder if @Elastic Dawg ever made it as a wiseman. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweat Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 Elastic ruined my life. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elastic Dawg Posted May 14, 2016 Author Share Posted May 14, 2016 On 5/7/2016 at 8:32 PM, Clappy said: I wonder if @Elastic Dawg ever made it as a wiseman. I couldn't even cut it as a poor man stealing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumbo Posted May 15, 2016 Share Posted May 15, 2016 "Also, Chad Kroeger kinda looks like Joan Osbourne with a beard." love this, forever 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elastic Dawg Posted May 19, 2016 Author Share Posted May 19, 2016 On 5/15/2016 at 10:26 AM, Wumbo said: "Also, Chad Kroeger kinda looks like Joan Osbourne with a beard." love this, forever This isn't even a disputable opinion. It's scientific fact. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Simpsons Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 On 5/15/2016 at 10:26 AM, Wumbo said: "Also, Chad Kroeger kinda looks like Joan Osbourne with a beard." love this, forever He's a slob like one of us 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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