Ask the Great Aya anything

[Aya♥]

Dear Diary:  It's me again.  Months have passed since I've last wrote to you, yet a lot has happened in those months.  Our leader is gone...whisked away by those Tendoushu...It's hard for me to put into words what happened to our Capt...no, more like a brother.  Life in this rag tag gang of pirates haven't been the same since you've been gone Kamui.  No one has been appointed as your replacement, the Old Man refused to take leadership, as did I, 4th and so on.  We believe in you Kamui.  Whether by your sheer will, or by the will of those who love you, we will get you home.  The news of your capture months ago fueled us to build our little battleship to something of a warship, kind of cool huh?  The rest of the crew is doing well, Monika, Ham-san, and everyone are hoping for your safe return.  If need be, we're ready for you Captain.  We always will be ready for you to return.

No Man placed his notepad down and looked around the pilot room.  4th was steering the ship, giving No Man a wave as they made eye contact.

"How are you holding up No Man?"  4th asked him, with a bit of concern in his voice.  No Man shook his head as he made eye contact with Monika.  She was walking towards him, handing him a piece of paper,

"Abuto-kun would like to speak with you."  she directed towards the Captain's Quarters, still with a Long John's Silver hat glued slopply next to the name plate.  No Man stood up and made his way to Abuto, passing Ham-san on his way, who he gave a quick fistbump to.  Monika opened the door for him, and he entered.  Abuto was sitting in a chair next to Kamui's desk, as to not take his captain's seat.

"Shortman, I know it's been a few days since we've been able to speak, but I felt like now was a better time than ever."  Abuto gestured to the paper in No Man's hand.  No Man examined the paper and looked back up at Abuto,

"What is this supposed to mean?  Do you realize how far away from Edo we are?  We can't go back there and risk losing more men...it's hard enough losing-"  No Man got choked up as he glanced over at the empty desk next to the two men.  Two pictures sat there, facing outward of the desk.  A single picture of Kamui taking a selfie with a full pirate get-up, and one picture with him and his crew taking a huge group photo in front of the ship.  Abuto took the picture and began to take the frame out,  "Hey what are you do-" but Abuto put his finger up to No Man to silence him.  Abuto removed the back of the picture frame and took out a second photo that was placed behind the crew photo.
 ( https://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=1249588 )

"No Man, I understand how difficult your upbringing was, how you never really had a family.  Kamui however, was.  He squandered his opportunity at this family over his mother's death, yet he never let go of them.  Even up until his disappearance, he inevitably ended up back with them."  No Man shook his head before Abuto could continue,

"No, Abuto, I do have a family.  It's you guys.  You're my family.  I understand why Kamui went on this mission to Koukan.  I realize he isn't my blood, none of you are my blood.  What does that change?  We don't have to be related by blood to be family...Kamui is my brother, and I cannot let him be captured like this.  It's just that...what are the chances this person could even save him, or stop these people?  We don't even know who he is and why he showed up..."  No Man crumpled up the paper and began to leave the room, but Abuto grabbed his shoulder from behind.

"I'm not taking no for an answer No Man.  We are going to Edo and we are meeting this person.  Not you, not 4th, hell, not even Monika can stop me.  I'm going to get our Chief back if it kills me.  I swore my life to him, and yet I'm sitting out in space doing nothing for him.  What does that make me?  What does that make us?  It's like you said, we're family.  He knows it too, why do you think he keeps his real family behind us in this portrait?  As much as he won't say it, we're family to him too.  We know they're still on Koukan, and we can do something about it.  Having this man, who's said to create anomalies might just help us.  He has to be like Joe or Steve right?  If this report is to be true, he is our answer."  Abuto was starting to raise his voice, but No Man embraced him before he could continue,

  

"I understand Big Man, I understand.  We-we have to do anything we can, even if it means doing something as dangerous as this...Nice flannel by the way, it really suits you well."  Abuto chuckled as he embraced his friend to, setting the picture frame back down on the desk.

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"Are you awake?"  Josh opened his eyes to see a girl in a maid outfit standing over him.  He grasped as his heart and looked around the room.  It was painted to look like a sky, and he was in a comfy bed, but still he had no idea where the heck he was.  Tama stood up and clapped, a blonde man was leaning against a wall in the room,

"Like the denim Tama-san?  I think it fits my metallic body well."  Kintoki showed off the denim fit while Tama ignored him.

"Do you know where Gengai-sama is, Kintoki-sama?"  Tama asked, handing Josh a cup of oil.  Josh inspected it and poured the drink behind him while Tama looked away.

"Nope, haven't seen that old bastard in a few days.  Who knows where he is."  Kintoki shrugged.  Josh was pretty dumbfounded, last he remembered was falling into some unknown city from a book within his cousin's house, screaming, then passing out.

"H-hold on...where am I?"  Josh questioned.  "WHO are you?!"  Josh was scratching his head.  Tama stood up and bowed,

"I'm Tama, I am a robotic maid serving Otose's Snack House.  That is Kintoki-sama over there in the silly getup."  She gestured to Kintoki who nodded his head.  Josh was now even more confused than ever.

"Well, that doesn't help me at all..."  Josh began to sit up and get himself together, but his handy dandy notepad slid out of his pocket.  Tama looked at it and pointed,

"You...you are just like them...Steve-sama and Joe-sama.  You all have...that!"  Tama said, getting kind of excited.

"W-wait, you know my cousins?!"  Josh said getting even more confused.  Kintoki shook his head,

"I may have never met them, but yes, I am certainly aware of their existence.  Those two are heroes of Edo, they've helped save this country and the world countless times...to even think you contain the same powers as them."  Kintoki removed himself from the wall and began to walk out the door,  "Tama, I'll go patrol and look for others, I promise I'll be safe, I'm a robot after all."  Kintoki saluted and slid out the door.  Josh picked up his notepad and looked at it.  It was half notebook, half tablet.

"That isn't like Joe-sama or Steve-sama's notepads."  Tama remarked.  Josh nodded,

"Yeah, I got this new high-tech one.  It cost me a pretty penny, but I enjoy it a lot.  I always admired those two, kind of looked up to them.  I just never got the chance to be around them a whole lot while growing up.  But, whenever we did get together, Steve would tell me all these fantastical stories about adventuring and solving clues, Blue's Clues."  Josh said, looking back fondly.  Tama nodded,

"It's the same with some people here.  Steve-sama and Joe-sama both came here and did "detective adventures" I believe with, hmm how did Gintoki-sama call it, Green Haired Freak-sama."  Tama said, smiling.  Josh scratched his head again,

"How did Steve and Joe know you people..."  Josh pondered.  Tama was glad to explain,

"My memory bank contains this knowledge!  Steve-sama and Joe-sama both read the story you're currently in right now!  It's a little hard to explain, but running it through my processors makes it a bit easier to understand."  Tama said.  Josh offered to abstain from  getting her "processors".  I figured I just heard some black haired black coat get real excited about that wording.

"I'm glad to know that Steve and Joe are here, I hope they're doing well."  Tama looked away, concerned.

"Uhm..."  Tama tried to piece together what to say,

"The name's Josh.  I'm assuming your name is Tama."  Josh said, finally introducing himself,

"Josh-sama...I don't know how to word this but Steve-sama and Joe-sama are...missing."  Tama said.  Josh looked shocked,

"What happened here..."  Josh was just in state of shock over all this information.  Tama reassured him by handing him another cup of oil.  Josh wasn't really to bent out of shape about this, but didn't try drinking it.

"With the power of that notepad, we should be able to do something about this war Josh-sama."  Tama said.  Josh looked down at his notepad,

"What can I even do with this?  I-i-i just write little doodles and play Wetris on my phone!"  Josh said, confused.  Tama reassured him again,

"I know people who can help you with that Josh-sama, just wait for Kintoki-sama to come back.  We have intel of survivors hiding in a small dojo just outside of Edo!"  Tama said, excitedly.  Josh inspected his device more,

"This is...going to save my cousins?  Oh Josh, what have you gotten yourself into..."

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"Sakamoto-san I'VE SOILED MY BRITCHES."  Pakwhomyasa was laying on the only bed, naked and disgusting.  Tatsuma was kneeling in the corner of the cell staring at the wall.

"I'm stuck in a cell with someone I've never met in my life.  Two of my best friends are fighting monstrous beasts outside."  As he said that, he heard one of the Orochi's cry out in pain and an explosion happening in the distance.  "Toying with them like they're play things.  All for some sick person's enjoyment.  I just hope Mickey and Mutsu are doing well...hmm wait a minute, FAT MAN!"  Tatsuma stood up and pointed at the slob of a man.  "I KNEW THIS WOULD COME IN HANDY!  I HID A DEUS EX MACHINA IN YOUR FAT FOLDS!  AHAHAHAHA!"  Sakamoto reached into Pakuyasa's stomach and pulled out his trusty gun,

"What the-"  Pakuyasa was so confused, but shrugged along with it.

"HEY GUARD!"  Sakamoto yelled.  The skeleton guard walked up to the cell and Sakamoto stuffed the gun into his nosehole

"You don't want me to have to go all roadtrip on your ass, do you?"  Tatsuma said in a gruff voice.  The Skeleton took the gun from his hands, opened his cell and started to whale on Tatsuma with a billyclub.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHAHAHAHA!  HELP ME NAKUYASA!"  Tatsuma yelled and laughed as his plan was throttled.  Pakuyasa took the opportunity and dashed out the cell while the guard was distracted,

"Ahh shit, we got one loose on the ship!"  The skeleton yelled into his radio, and then continued to whale on Tatsuma.  The scene cuts to Nameless, still watching over the two samurai fighting for the lives.  Skele was using his applied superhero skills, striking the large Serpents, while Zura was using his martial arts to fend for himself.  Nameless chuckled to himself as his former comrades were duking it out, then he felt something cold pressed to the back of his head.

"Remember me you traitor?"  Pakuyasa pressed the gun harder against Nameless's head.  Guards of the Tendoushu came up to apprehend him, but Nameless put his hand up to stop them.  Nameless clapped and the giant serpents went back into the sand, leaving Zura and Skele exhausted,

"Giving up so soon?!"  Skele yelled.  Nameless smiled and shook his head.

"Oh no, of course not, it just so happens one of your pals wants a demonstration of just what I'm capable of!"  Nameless turned around, the gun now in his face.  "I remember you Pakuyasa, and I assume you remember me...Heh, to think we could have worked together, but you instead decided to party with these...these scums."  Nameless spit on Pakuyasa's face, which angered the samurai,

"I'll pull the trigger, I swear on it."  Pakuyasa said, holding it sideways now,  Nameless shook his head.

"If you're going to shoot me, can you at least, just once...tell me what my name is."  Pakuyasa looked confused, but for some reason or another just couldn't remember his former comrade's name.

"Exactly as I thought.  Now let me just-"  Nameless kicked the gun out of Pakuyasa's hand, startling him.  He glanced over at his actual comrades,

"Zura, Skele, don't worry about me!  Just, just find a way to survive...please don't hurt anyone more out there while I have him distracted."  Zura and Skele looked at their fellow Joui compadres in the sand.  Nameless pressed a button and a dome formed over the two.

"I don't know how you got past my security, or how you were able to walk on the ship in that condition.  I'm assuming you aren't fully human."  Nameless took off his protective suit,  "Anyway, none of that matters, you're fodder just like your little friends out there.  In a matter of time, I'll be able to withstand not only the space air, but anything you can throw at me."  The Nameless man reached into his pocket and presented something to Pakuyasa,

  The Nameless man chuckled to himself as Pakuyasa looked in horror,

"An Altana Crystal...how did you get one of those..."  Pakuyasa tried to reach for his gun but Nameless drew his sword and pointed it right at Pakuyasa.

"I have my ways you ignorant slob.  First of all, you come in here and ruin my HUGE MAIN EVENT!  I cannot forgive something so ignorant.  You should have known your place and waited in your cell."  The Nameless man waved the crystal in Pakuyasa's face.

"Don't think for a second I won't back down just because I don't have a weapon."  Pakuyasa said, putting his fist up.  The Nameless Man tossed Pakuyasa his own sword.  Pakuyasa caught it and was confused.

"If you want to fight me so bad, then I can always re-schedule the main event out there, and put myself in as top billing."  Nameless pulled out his much shorter Wakizashi in favor of his own katana.  He showed off the hilt of his sword, revealing a small slot.  He inserted the Altana Crystal into his sword, causing it to glow and roar in power.  "I wouldn't even bother trying to face me in combat Pakuyasa.  I know everything about you and your fighting style.  However, I was surprised that you were able to breath in this space...I wonder why that is."  Nameless stanced, waiting for Pakuyasa to ready himself.  Pakuyasa shook his head, 

"You obviously don't know everything about me,"  Just as Pakuyasa said this, he sprinted at speeds Nameless couldn't comprehend,

"W-what?!"  Nameless couldn't react in time, as Pakuyasa sliced into his shoulder from behind,

"You should underestimate your former samurai."  Pakuyasa dug the sword out of Nameless's shoulder and hit him with a blow that sent him flying into the side of the dome, nearly cracking the heavy glass that it was made of.  Nameless looked up at the cut in his shoulder and chuckled.

"Not bad, you're a surprisingly agile be-"  before the word 'beast' came out of his mouth, Pakuyasa appeared behind him and kicked him back to the center of the dome, and simultaneously stabbed Nameless in the chest with his sword.  They landed near where the battle began, next to the gun. Nameless looked surprised and a bit hurt by the stab wound.  It was opposite of his heart, so it wasn't vital.  Nameless grabbed the sword and snapped it in half.

"You're not the only fast one Pakuyasa."  Pakuyasa's adrenaline finally wore off and finally noticed the small blade stabbed into his abdomen.  Pakuyasa rolled off of Nameless, gripping at the sword.  Nameless stood up and looked down at the fallen samurai.  "You're weak.  You wielding my sword was a disgrace."  Nameless spit on the hapless samurai.  Pakuyasa didn't want to pull the blade out from his abdomen, so Nameless did it for him.  Blood began to rush out of the wound, Pakuyasa trying to control it.  "Pathetic."  Nameless kicked him while he was down a few times, looking up at Zura and Skele.  "IS THIS YOUR COMRADE?!"  as Nameless was kicking at Pakuyasa, the downed samurai managed to reach the gun in time, and pistol whip his ankle.  Nameless fell in a hep, reaching for his ankle.  Pakuyasa struggled to his feet, using the broken sword as a cane to hold himself up.  His other hand, he carried Sakamoto's glock.  He aimed the pistol directly at Nameless's head, but was caught off guard by what he witnessed.  The gash on Nameless's shoulder was beginning to patch itself up.

"No...you..."  Pakuyasa hesitated far to long, as Nameless was able to capitalize by stabbing Pakuyasa in the right foot.  He ripped the blade out of his flesh and knocked the gun out of his hand, while kicking the sword out from under him.  Pakuyasa fell to the ground, still grabbing at his abdomen.  "You...ingested the crystals...didn't you..."  Pakuyasa was struggling to get his words out.  Nameless seethed his sword and began to clap.

"Looks like we got our selves one smart COOKIE!  You figured it out, didn't you ol Paky?!"  Nameless brought his sword back out, ready to attack more.  Pakuyasa put his hands up,

"If we are too continue, let me stand up.  Honor the code we took before going into battle all those years...ago."  Nameless put his head down and nodded.  He backed up to give Pakuyasa some space,

  Zura and Skele looked on from the distance as Pakuyasa struggled to his feet, blood dripping from his wound, and puddling around his foot.  He hobbled to one leg, drew the broken sword and bowed.  Nameless smirked and whipped his sword around his body, the Altana Crystal growing in its florescent blinding glare.  "FIGHT ME, COME ON!"  Pakuyasa beckoned for Nameless to come at him again.  Nameless pounced at lightning speed, swinging at Pakuyasa, but was matched by the shorter sword.  Pakuyasa was managing his best on one foot, but stumbled numerous times, getting sliced on the arm, the face, and his chest.  Nameless leapt backwards after getting dozens of his swings blocked.

"You're surprisingly nimble in such a weak state.  As for me?  I barely got a scratch on me."  He smiled as his shoulder wound was completely gone, and his chest wound was covering up.  Pakuyasa, despite all the injuries, offered up a smile.

"You don't need to cover up your weaknesses with something...like Altana...you're much stronger than that.  On the battlefield even...you were top notch."  Pakuyasa's smile stayed on his face, a smile lasting a thousand moments in mere seconds.  The final phrase setting Nameless off like an alarm, causing the man to rush the sword deep into Pakuyasa's chest.  Nameless looked down at the samurai as he fell to his knees, the smile still stretched across his face.

"You never cared for me.  You don't even know my name.  No one does.  Let my memory die, as I so intend to do."  Pakuyasa grabbed Nameless's arm and looked up at him with blood running out of his mouth, and tears forming at his eyes.

"You were more than just...a nameless face in a crowd to me....you were my comrade...my brother."  Pakuyasa released grip and put both of his hands on the ground in front of him.

  Nameless stared down at him as blood was still forming in a pool around the man, his pants getting soaked in his own blood.

"You were never my brother.  None of you were.  You never understood the hardships I went though during and after that damned war.  Not one 'happy birthday', not a single, 'hey, how are you doing", nothing.  You don't even...you don't even know who I am.  No one does.  Not those idiots outside this dome, not those idiots out there wandering space looking for you.  No one.  I've fought for everything to get to where I am today.  I will rule this world Pakuyasa.  The days of the samurai are over, and be it by my hands?  It's ironic in a way, but it's what will satisfy my life goal of ridding you all of your names.  I will erase the samurai and begin a new."  Nameless raised his sword.  Pakuyasa did not avert his gaze from Nameless's feet, hands still on the ground bowing.

"You may treat my death as nothing more than a stepping stone to complete your goals.  You may be able to defeat every samurai in the land and erase their names.  But, you've forgotten one crucial thing in this land, my brother.  You've forgotten that you cannot kill the spirit of the samurais.  You cannot kill our bushido, and you cannot defeat our memories.  I, like everyone who will fight you to protect their lives and their home, will stand defiant to you until our final breath."  Pakuyasa's consciousness was beginning to fade from the loss of blood as he began to slur his words.  Nameless shook his head.  Zura and Skele looked on in horror,

"PAKUWHOSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"  Zura and Skele yelled.  Nameless took his blade and drove it directly into Pakuyasa's heart.  The samurai slumped down on Nameless's arm, the weight of his body leaving.  Nameless took the sword out of Pakuyasa and placed it back into its holster.  He motion for the Tendoushu to hand him his space suit and to lower the dome.  He turned to face the two samurai who couldn't believe the sight of one of their comrades laying there motionless.

"You're a monster...not even human anymore at this point."  Zura said, scowling.  Nameless shook his head and chuckled,

"If you oppose me like that, you're going to be dealt with swiftly as well.  Now, please, go back to entertaining me as you were!"  Nameless said, signaling for the beasts to come back out and fight.  "Here, you got this guy now too!"  he motioned for the skeleton guard who brought Tatsuma out of his cell, and tossed him down to the planet below.  Nameless only sat back, smiled and nodded.

The Shogun was sitting at the helm of the ship watching it all unfold in front of him,  'Such violence, fer mere sport to...that jus ain't right.'  The Shogun couldn't help thinking.  He tapped on the glass pondering to himself about this Nameless man.  He knew he had to get his end of the deal out of this eventually, he just didn't know when to try and strike him down.  He turned around to face the three captured in their tubes.  He stared at Kamui the longest, trying to come up with something (or perhaps he was staring at his rockin ripped abs).  Just as he was about to turn away, he swore he could hear something faint coming from the tube,

"Mami..."

The Shogun stepped back out of shock,  "I swear I must be goin crazy with this new fangled air I'm breathin in..."  he held his head and sat in the chair in front of him.

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"Shinsuke, it's uh...it's me Gintoki.  I know you've been stuck with me for 4 months but I need to talk with you for a little bit."  Gintoki was standing outside of Shinsuke's quarters.  It was early in the morning in the part of space they were in.

 

"Gintoki...please just go away.  Let me sulk in here in peace."  Shinsuke said.  Gintoki ignored him and pushed the door open.  Shinsuke was sitting at his desk in the room, holding up a picture of Katsura.  Shinsuke looked up at Gintoki and put his head back down immediately.  "Please, just go away."  Gintoki shook his head,

"I can't do that Shinsuke.  I understand what you're going thro-"  Shinsuke stood up in a flash and got up in Gintoki's face,

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH.  YOU NEVER WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH!  WHAT IF...what if he's dead Gintoki...I-i wouldn't be able to go on without him."  Shinsuke backed down from Gintoki's face and sat down.  Gintoki didn't blink as his friend sat back down,

"It's true Shinny, I don't know what you're going through.  But I'm still fighting.  You cannot give up Shinsuke, even if no one understands.  What I understand is that I'm missing a best friend.  Someone who has been there since my childhood.  I'm missing someone...someone who I've grown so attached to that I can't put into words how I feel...and I'm missing my...my associate.  How can I...pay her if she isn't working."
Shinsuke looked up at his friend, his brother in a sort of realization.  "You're not the only one on this ship hurting Shinsuke."  Shinsuke looked down at Gintoki's hands; he was clinching a hairpin that Kagura left behind.  "Pattusan grabbed this before leaving the tea house...I've been sleeping with this for the past 4 months in hopes to see those two again."  Shinsuke got out of his chair this time not to confront Gintoki, but embrace his friend.  "You know this is very unlike you Shinsuke..."  Gintoki accepted the embrace,

"Having mementos to cling on to...no matter how small..."  Shinsuke was looking past Gintoki at his and Zura's closet, still lined with dresses, kimonos and the likes that Zura would wear.  The countless memories of the two in this room flooding back to him.  Tears were welling up in his eyes as Gintoki put his hand on top of his friends head.

"We're going to rescue those three, no matter what it takes Shinny.  We're going to save Edo if it kills us.  We've done it before, so why can't we do it again?"  the two put their heads together and parted.  Gintoki left Shinsuke to sob in his own mess as one of the lower ranked terrorists knocked on his door,

"Sir, we uh, have huge readings come from the northwest...at Koukan.  It'll take us 5 days to reach the planet, but we can check it out as fast as possible."  Shinsuke nodded and shoo'd the man away.  Shinsuke walked over and picked up a small figurine made in the likeness of his husband.  The gift Skele gave to him on his wedding.

"Yeah...I'm not the only one suffering.  Let's bring you guys home."  Shinsuke clinched onto the figurine and never let go for the rest of the night.

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"Mukuro, you are walking too fast.  I can't keep up with you or Joseph."  Oboro and Poe slugged along, Oboro dragging his feet with every step.  Nobume stepped back and slapped him,

"Shouldn't that 80's tune have woken you up a bit?  How about we blast some of this!"  Nobume pulled out a boombox and started bumping,

"Nobume, you can't be bumping this too loud, the Tendoushu can hear us!"  Joe yelled, turning the boombox off.  Nobume looked disgusted as he stopped her grove.  Oboro chuckled but she sliced in the air, cutting off some of his and Poe's hair.  Joe stopped them both, he pointed at the ground in surprised,

"Look...it's a clue..."  Joe said.  He walked out in the middle of the street and examined the ground.  He knew something had to have happened there, but as he was investigating, he saw something moving in the alley way.  "Stop!  Don't move!"  Joe said, drawing a sword from his waistband.  The figure stepped out and revealed himself,

"Shiroyasha?  But I thought you had white hair..."  Oboro said, having to change his name,

"No, I'm not Gintoki.  I'm a robot that was built in his image years ago.  I'm Sakata Kintoki.  You might know Gengai or Tama, I live with them.  Joe, you're just the person I wanted to see actually.  I'm surprised I ran into you."  Kintoki said.  Joe used his detective skills,

"So you know about this."  he pointed at the clue on the ground.  Kintoki nodded,

"You're cousin is resting at our place."  He said.  Joe's face went pale,

"J-Josh is here?"  Joe was flabbergasted.  Oboro, Poe, and Nobume were just as confused.  Kintoki gestured them to the alley,

"He needs help Joe, help from someone who mastered the notebook."  Joe's gaze darkened, he didn't want to have to bother Josh with the troubles the notebook could bring, but he knew this was the only way he was going to save his brother.

"Ok, bring us to him.  It'll be a fun family reunion I think."

TBC 

Edited September 3, 2019 by Moxley♥

[Cha]

“Your Majesties.” A man bowed and handed a piece of paper to the world sovereigns of the planet Oukoku. 

“What does it say, Barky?” The purpler and littler sovereign was slouching on the couch inside of their oval office and next to him a green old man was smoking  and reading the newspaper. Prince Barkas put down the paper and exhaled. 

“Hata.. you know we’re doing all we can during this galatic war, helping our world’s allies.. but we have to think about our country first, our planet first.” Barkas explained. Hata sat up rather somber looking so Barkas sat down next to him and lovingly put his hand on his shoulder. “Baby brother, I know how much you care for Princess Soyo, Hasegawa, all your other Earth friends, but this can’t forever be our battle to face. We have countless men out there losing their lives. And you know our world has nothing to gain for from the Tendoshu because it contains no Altana.”

“I know oniichan.” Hata looked down at the floor with tears in his eyes. “But I wasn’t just thinking about them..” The both of them looked up.


“I took that the first time we were all together again, look how happy Draggy looks. Isn’t it strange, Barky? How much time has passed? How much war has gone on? I absolutely know how important our people are but I don’t know if I could sleep with a clean conscience knowing we didn’t try our absolute best to protect that Earth with all those weird but interesting people on it..” They both kept staring at the picture. “Or how our father would feel if we didn’t protect his oldest boy up there who with only our efforts combined we can even strive be a great king as he would have been.  So that’s why I-“

“Hey Barkas, phone’s for you.” Jii held it up as he was still reading his newspaper.

“I WORKED VERY HARD ON THOSE TBC LINES OLD MAN!” Hata fumed. 

“Hello?” Barkas asked. 

“S-Shijaku! That is you!” The other line said. Barkas was bit surprised as he hadn’t heard his old name in a while. 

“Enshou? What do you want?” Barkas asked his former fellow admiral. “How did you get this number?” 

“I hacked your Witter account’s IP address. But that’s not important.” Barkas looked distubed but Prince Enshou continued. “Shijaku, the Altana Liberation Army has started to crumble with all the Tendoshu‘s ever growing control of numerous planets and their Altana foundations. A majority of our allies with other planets and our men have been taken control of or captured, our space station is collapsing, who knows how much time there will be until those bastards reach it too.”

 Barkas paused for a moment as he was shocked but continued in an controlled tone.

“My world’s government is doing the best it can in this intergalatic situation with lending a helping hand to worlds with Altana in them. But if I think what I think you’re implying Enshou, I’m not coming back. This is my home now..” 

Barkas glanced at Hata in the background who was almost about to hit Jii. But the old man grabbed him by his elf ear and the kid cried out for mercy.

“If not for me... then for her..” Enshou opened up his personal locket that always hung around his neck.


“If that’s your locket that made that click noise, I barely knew your wife and besides, THAT’S JUST A STOCK PHOTO OF A RANDOM WOMAN!” Barkas yelled out in straightmanese.


“Give me a break this is my first TBC appearance. And no one even cared about me in the actual show when I was alive. This is all I got now.” The man said somberly.

“Uhh, there, there...” Barkas petted the phone.

 “Hey I heard you got a new best royal friend, what, me hacking your Witter account and making your life at work miserable with my office Wichael Wcott like shenanigans wasn’t good enough for me and the wifey?” Enshou asked while clapping his locket and Barky slammed down the phone. 

“THIS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A SERIOUS ARC SUBPLOT!” Barkas yelled.

“Yeah and I mean, the only actual scene you’ve had in TBC that isn’t in a dream.” Hata held an ice bag to his swollen ear. “So what are you gonna do, Barky?” 

He sighed. “I would never return to a life that wasn’t mine anymore.” He put his arm on the window outlooking castle for a moment. “But I don’t know if just alone what we’re doing for the galaxy will cut it anymore, little brother.”

“Living the life as a rebel against the galaxy can’t be much different than other little shits you might know.” Jii spoke up and turned the page on his paper. Barkas and Hata looked back at the framed picture above them.

“Hata, keep watching over things while I’m gone, okay?” Barkas left the office.

”Of course...” Hata watched his big brother as he walked down the hallway, turned and disappeared. “-it’s not like I haven’t done that before in your absence...” He looked at the ground again.
——
“Hey Tama, brought some people of interest.” Kintoki knocked on Genghai’s shed door with Joe, Oboro, Poe and Nobume behind him. 

Tama opened it and they carefully walked inside, closing the door behind them so nobody else would follow.

“JOSH?!” Joe called out when he saw him.

“J-Joe?!” Josh got up from his bed and ran to embrace his cousin. “I haven’t seen you in so many years... And there’s so many things I have to ask yo-“

“Wait one moment everyone, sorry for this family reunion interruption but I am getting a very important facetime call from my best friend.” Tama pulled out her phone and showed them.

“That best friend doesn’t look like me, not that I care that you didn’t choose me as your best friend..” Kintoki put his arm over his face against the blue sky wallpaper, hiding from seeing him frown, not like any of them cared though. 

“Hello Monika-chan. What brings you to call me today?” Tama asked her kindly.

”Hi Tama-chan! You see me and the Harusame think we might have found unusual activity on Koukan. And.. woah, that weird looking guy.. oops! Sorry Mr.! Hehe.” Monika looked at Josh and then giggled.

“Hey, you’re a literal alive cartoon character and you’re calling me weird?“ Josh defended

”Say Abuto, look. Joe-san is here too! You think as ship’s security I should interrogate him to see what he knows about this new guy we’re looking for to help save the universe or something?” Monika asked a Abuto off screen. “How fun, you have to many new friends though, Tama-chan! I wish I could be there.” 

”You can! Here, let me hook up my phone to my battery outlet!” Tama got a wire and connected the phone to a spot on her head. “Go ahead!”

”Okay!” She replied.

”Monika, what do you plan on doing-“ Abuto asked still off screen but it was too late.

An electric current vibrated from Tama’s phone, to the wire and through Tama’s body. The others looked concerned and surprised but let her do her own thing. Suddenly a burst of light in front of the gang appeared and Monika was there in the living flesh.. er pixels.

”HOW THE HELL?!” Josh asked. 

“Simple. She’s basically a computer and I’m a computer program!” Monika said and did playful pointed fingers at her.

”Oh..” Tama looked down at her hands, confused. She pointed them at the sky and mini blasters shot off fireworks in roof, causing holes in it. The others looked shocked.

“Heh, close enough!” Monika smiled.

“I’m not crying you’re crying.” Kintoki continued to be ignored by everyone as his eye functions leaked oil.

“Monika, is it? What’s this thing about this planet?” Joe asked her.

“Planet? You mean there are more than one..?” Josh slowly asked. Nobume went and put her hand on his shoulder.

”Buddy, there’s a whole universe outside this trash bin of a city.” Nobume pointed her hand to the sky painted ceiling for emphasis.

“And there’s been 23 universes at that.” Oboro chimed in.

”Oh my god.... Cartoon characters.. cartoon characters alive in universes..” Josh put his hands to his face, the man was feeling like he was gonna pass out, again.

“A real keeper you got here, Joey Gladstone. He can’t even keep his head on straight.” Nobume adjusted her shades. Josh just looked down on the floor. “Nah it’s okay sweet cheeks, I’m just being hard on you.”

“S-Sweet cheeks?” Josh and Oboro both said. Nobume slapped Oboro. She leaned up a wall with her arm behind Josh who looked at her with paranoia.

 

“Ignore this chump. Look, I ain’t big on words shorty but shiiit. Mama Nobume’s been all around and no guys or chicks got nothin’ on you. “ She put a finger to his lips, push her shades to her nose and smirked.

“Uhhh..? W-where’s that rap music coming from?! I don’t see any speakers!” Josh said with her finger still on his lips , wishing he could escape the situation he was currently in.

“Isn’t this an east coast song anyway?” Oboro asked, Nobume got out a ak-47 from her coat and jabbed it on his nose. “Don’t be blinded by Mukuro because-“ She pointed it sideways. “-she’s only 16 anyw-“ She shot it. “AAAAAHHHH!”

“Shit, outta muthafuckin bullets.” She pulled it from the jizz man’s face, twirled it and put it back in her jacket. Oboro and Poe held their chests and exhaled.

“So Abuto got strong live readings from Koukan. We think our a lot of friends and some of the Tendoshu could possibly be on it. But first we needed supposedly that man’s help right there to help save the world! Or universe. Or whatever.” Monika smiled and shrugged.

“Me? I’m still caught up in the fact that you’re all even existing.” Josh sighed. “All those stories Steve would send me letters about.. all these tales.. being real.. now you need my help to save your world too...I just.. don’t know how to feel...” Joe put his hand on his cousin’s shoulder.

“Hey, we’ll take this one step at a time, okay Josh?” Joe smiled but Josh looked up at him with upset eyes. Joe exhaled.

 “Look little cousin, I’m sorry Steve and I never outright told you about any of this growing up. It’s kind of a family secret in order to keep this comic world from corruption.”

”You mean any more corruption, Joseph.” Oboro was slapped by Nobume again. “CUT THAT OUT!”

”Yes old man. Do I mean any more corruption.” Joe rolled his eyes. “But right now you’re the only one who can keep this world alive. I’ll do my best to ask any questions you have in the mean time, okay Josh? Do you want to be apart of our family’s secret?” 

“O-Okay..” Josh looked down at his notepad in his pocket and pulled it out. “Tell me what I have to do, Joe.” 

“You have a full on underground stadium underneath your shop?” Oboro asked but the other robots in the crowd shushed him.

”Gengai-sama uses this room to test the defensive skills of his new androids and robots.” Tama recalled from her memory bank while humming. “Fenis monjaaaa.”

“First we’re gonna learn to ska’doo.” Joe told him and stretched his arms to prepare.

”Hey, I think I remember one of those monsters- I mean members of your house saying something like that for me to enter this comic book.” Josh recalled. 

“Good! Hey, how are they doing?” Joe asked when he finished.

”Uh, I don’t know. I kind of ran off screaming from them.” Josh confessed. 

“Aw that’s alright. Anyway, ska’dooing may look easy but it’s a complicated art. But since you’re family, you’ll I’m sure you’ll have this in the bag, Joshinator!” Joe gave him a fist bump.

“Get your snacks here.”


”Here’s five bucks Josh won’t be able to do it.” Nobume said and rose her hand in the air to catch vendor peanuts.

“I thought you liked Josh. Hey where did he get those glasses from anyway.” Oboro was whacked by her bag of roasted honey nuts and lost a bloody tooth.

“Treat yo baby girl like a princess, throw yo man in the river. He’s gotta win this heart. That’s Nobume’s policy on romance.” She chowed down on her snack. “Sorry your 300-something virgin ass can’t understand that.”

Oboro tried to contain his steething anger, it’s not like he could reset to a universe and it would be without her...could he? He would have to ask sensei in his dream tonight. Not like he was specifically regularly dreaming about sensei or something.

“I place ten on that bet!” Monika smiled.

”Oh dear, poor Josh-sama’s self-esteem.” Tama shook her head.

”Now then Josh, try skadooing into this for starters.” Joe pulled out a blank piece of paper.

”Huh?” Josh said confused. “So I just say the words and I can?” Joe shook his head.

”Josh, it’s not just about saying the words. You have to believe you can do anything your mind sets you to. You gotta feel it.” Joe clenched his hands for emphasis.

Josh took a deep breath in and out. 

“Okay..” He started. “Blue skadooed, we can too!” He started turning smaller and levitating towards the piece of paper but the moment he came onto contact with it, he turned back into his normal size and fell on floor. “Ow!”

”You got to keep concentrated, Josh. The only thing in that moment is becoming one with this paper.” Joe held it up again but then had a memory triggered and smiled a little. “Just like teaching an old man how to do new tricks.”

“I got it..” Josh walked backwards and then sprinted forward.” BLUE SKADOOED WE CAN TOOOOOO!” 

Josh opened his eyes. The upper part of his body had skadooed into the paper but the lower part was still in their world. 

“J-JOE..?!” Josh yelled.

“What in the name of Sensei’s cookies...” Oboro and Poe cuffed their eyes to see the field better.

“Oh god.. Uh..” Joe had never seen anything like this. He tried shaking the paper but it only made Josh’s top half feel dizzy. “Josh! Now T-try skadooing out of the paper!”

“I can barely skadoo into places let alone skadoo out of them!” Josh cried out. 

Josh tried digging his feet into the ground as Joe was tugging on the paper.

“MY NECK! JOE! STOP! OH GOD!” Josh cried out and Joe ceased. 

“I gotta tell Abuto and the guys all about this when I get back. This is better than wrestling!” Monika smiled.

”Hey, where’s my sausage I ordered like 15 minutes go, vendor boy.” Oboro demanded waving his hands. Kintoki launched it in his face with his super robotic stupid strength.

”That’s the only weenier he’ll ever get from another man.” Nobume commented taking a Big Gulp sip. The weenie begun to steam on Oboro’s fuming face.

“Let me try another approach.” Joe put down the piece of paper. Causing both parts of Josh to fall on the floor, Josh owed. “Blue ska’dooed we can too!” Joe went into the paper. 

“Now what?” Josh asked him anxious eyes. He still was unable to move, laying on the floor.

“I’m gonna skadoo us both out of here. Blu-“ Joe started.

“Wait! What if it.. you know.. chops me in half..?” Josh asked in horror. Joe’s eyes became wide.

“O-Of course not! That could never happen my little cousin!” Joe smiled but then gulped to himself and started to sweat. “Blue skadooed we can too!” 

The two had made it out thankfully in one piece but the paper had cut off Josh’s shirt.

”Oops.” Josh looked down at his exposed bulging muscles.


“Hey now it’s getting interesting.” Nobume sat up in her seat now fully awake and got out her camera.

“Poe, I knew I liked something about this universe.” Oboro took a bite of his Chicago style pizza.

“I wouldn’t mind either of them skadooing into my processors-“ Tama then gasped,  she couldn’t believe she said something so improper. And the author made sure a black haired black coat never saw this line ever.

“Hey Joey boy, take off your shirt next! Hee!” Monika smiled but Joe ignored them all. The girls and Oboro cheered louder as Kintoki rolled his eyes and put more weenies in the oven to be roasted.
-—-
“Hey Abuto, have you seen Monika? 4 pm is the usual time she torments me.” No Man looked at his watch with a dog’s paws as the hands. The two men were on the bridge. 

“She.. went inside the phone...” Abuto stood there holding the device unable to move. 

“Uhh can you repeat that dog?” No Man asked.

“Abuto-dono, there’s an incoming hail!” 4th said as he was steering the ship.

“Yare, yare. Ham-san told me the ship’s cloak would conceal us from the Tendoshu.” Him and No Man walked up to the green man.

“No sir, it’s not them.” 4th shook his head and had a lower rank press a few buttons.

“Shinsuke’s ship!” Abuto was surprised. “What are you guys doing here?” 

“Katsura-dono and a few of our other associates went missing some months ago. And I’m sure you registered from your own sensors, there is a large amount of power coming down there at Koukan.” Bansai answered.

“Is Shinsuke there?” Abuto asked. Bansai and Elizabeth looked around.

“Well you see he’s-“ Bansai was cut off.

“Are the commanders having a fun time playing captain?” A man stepped in the room as yorozuya, the lower ranks and everyone else on the bridge snapped their attention to him. Gintoki just smirked to himself.

“Shinsuke-sama!” Matako blurted out from the background.

“Abuto, I’m assuming they got Kamui too. Otherwise you pirates wouldn’t wasted your time finding gold on a deserted planet.” Shinsuke continued, Abuto just scoffed. 

“I’m sure if our captain is down there he’s already had the whole damn planet raided for buried treasure before we can even set foot on it.” Abuto crossed his arms and exhaled. “So what are we gonna do? Just go down below and go apeshit? Is that what you planned to do, Shinsuke?” Shinsuke just smiled back. “Damn, as if we didn’t already have the whole universe at our throats...” 

“Abuto, we’re getting another call! But it’s not Tendoshu either.” 4th scratched his head but Abuto pointed to have it opened on their call with Shinsuke.

“You know, one of us is gonna have to distract the guarded ships around Koukan.” The woman on the line said to both Abuto and Shinsuke. 

“Well, I’ll be damned. If isn’t another infamous former little pirate bunny.” Abuto said and Mutsu tipped her hat. “Damn what is about us Harusame yatos and flocking back to our old banged up home world. And the gold prize here isn’t even good, it’s all dirty and shit.” Abuto thought of his captain. “Fine get yourself killed, little missy. Our species will probably be extinct when this is all over with anyway. Alright Shinsuke, hopefully we will see you down there on the surface in one piece.” 

The pirates call with both ships ended but No Man looked puzzled.

“What about going back to Earth?” No Man asked.

“I think Monika is taking care of that problem just fine.” Abuto had a look of content on his face. No Man was still confused but thought he should worry about it later. 

“Abuto, we do have a battle strategy right?” 4th asked. “We’re not just gonna storm down there with no idea what to do.”

But Abuto just walked away to another room. 

“I swear..” 4th rubbed his temples. Ham-san walked up behind him and massaged his shoulders.

Shinsuke pulled out his figurine of Katsura from his open chested kimono. He stared at it for a moment before putting it back in his shirt. His terrorist ship started to move, Harusame ship followed. The two cloaked ships begun penetrating the atmosphere of the planet at high speeds, catching the eye of some Naraku lower ranks in control of the Tendoshu ship down below. 

“Sir. We’re getting very odd readings. Possibly two cloaked ships heading for the surface of Kokuan.” One of them told another in charge. The man in charge had a very serious scowl across his face.

“Ensign Kasai, you know our captain doesn’t talk for just any random so and so, only when he finds it of great importance.” The other Naraku told the man next to him on their station. “Just wait until they’re in range and fire. Not like every day some rebellious bastards try to come down here anyway.”

“They want to see have a taste of hell, be our guests.” Another man on another station added.

As the two cloaked ships came within the Tendoshu’s range, they started firing at them. The Harusame pirates were the first to wail on their new weapons of their warship onto the Tendoshu ship’s force field and shields. 

“Force field down to 53% sir!” Kasai proclaimed. The captain looked a bit surprised and looked at Kasai’s counsel. 

“Already? The hell are we dealing with?” 
Another ensign said as he was rapidly pushing buttons. 

“How did they get past all our guarding ships lurking around this planet?” Kasai wondered.

“Long as our cloaking devices work, we should be able to confuse the Tendoshu a bit. I’ve scrambled the ships sensors on us and Shinsuke-san’s ship so they won’t be able to destroy us so easily.” Ham-san kept fastly typing codes at his com station.

“Keep firing boys, maybe we’ll blow out a side of their ship and our captain’s ass can merely just casually stroll out of there. Heh.” Abuto crossed his arms. 4th was going to town on the wheel, rapidly keeping it from getting hit at every move the Tendoshu ship gave them. 

“You know all those days and nights of over shifts flying this hunk of junk are starting to really pay off.” 4th gave the wheel another hearty turn, causing the ship to sway on one of its sides.

Bansai was on the wheel of the bridge as the other senior officers were manning other stations. Gintoki, Shinpachi and Sadaharu were in the living room and clinging onto whatever they could to not be tossed around.

“Tactical officer how are we doing!” Shinsuke loudly spoke out. 

“Missiles ready to fire, Shinsuke-sama!” Matako replied. 

“Do it!” He exclaimed and Matako aimed and launched them directly over the head of the Tendoshu’s force field.

A majority of the weapons hit their target below. The force field getting steadily weaker now.

“Shields at 45%, sir!” Kasai said to his captain.

Hey Abuto remember that club we went to three years ago on Hazel 7? Is this as crazy as that was?” Shinsuke smirked as he talked to him through a speaker. He was holding onto his speeding ship while it was continuously firing.

“Ccch, all I remember was getting a massive hangover, you and Kamui getting into some dumb bar fight with the locals and No Man nonstop babbling about those blue Amanto girls.” Abuto kept signaling his men to keep using their blasters. “Wouldn’t care to call that memorable but you do you I guess, Shinsuke.”

“22% and dropping!” Kasai held onto his com station as the felt the vibration of the terrorist ship’s missiles.

The Naraku kept blasting blindly at the cloaked ships, but then they managed hit the terrorist ship at its weakest spot. The cloak on it disappeared and they were visible to the naked eye.

“SHIT!” Shinsuke yelled.

“Ham, what happened?!” Abuto turned at him.

“Trying to rework the problem sir but it looks like Shinsuke-san had a nasty hit! I can’t scramble their sensors if they themselves can’t fix their own cloak!” Ham-san kept pushing buttons.

However, the enormous Tendoshu ship hit them again in the same weak spot. The ship begun plummeting to the ground. All Abuto and the pirates could do is watch it unfold on their monitors.

“Oh like hell WE WONT!” Shinsuke pushed Bansai to the floor.

He clenched the steering wheel with all his strength in order to pull it up. Everyone on board had either fallen to the floor were holding onto their station for their lives. The star ship was literally completely tilted in a downward position. 

“WE’RE GONNA CRASH!” Matako cried out. 

Gintoki forced the doors of the bridge open with his bare hands and crawled his way to Shinsuke. He grabbed the steering wheel behind Shinsuke as the two heaved their way to prevent a fatal drop. 

“Can’t stay away from me for two seconds, huh Ginny?” Shinsuke said while clenching his teeth from the pressure of the falling.

“I could say the same for you Shinny. You’re basically all over me right now.” 

Gintoki did more hefty pull ups as the ship made impact a few times with the rocky ground of Koukan. Sparks flew on the com stations, the other terrorists all bracing themselves on each hit. Finally the bumps ended. Gintoki and Shinsuke huffed and puffed as they finally unclenched the wheel.

“Remind me to never have you drive or fly me anywhere again, Shinny.” Gintoki said trying to catch his breath.

“DAMMIT! They completely took down our shield!” Kasai said in frustration. 

The Naraku captain narrowed his eyes at his news.

“Their force fields are down!” No Man shouted all excitedly. “Keep shooting, this should be over with in no time now, dogs!” 

At that moment their cloak was hit and disappeared just like their comrade’s ship.

“Maybe you should wait next time before you start praising, Halfster.” Abuto said.

“There’s nothing we can do right now, Abuto-dono. But they have the technology and means to destroy us.” Ham-san reported.

“We’re better off on the ground than to end up like Shinsuke-san’s ship.” 4th said and Abuto nodded. 

“Give ‘em a few rounds as we start to land, men. Really confuse them a bit.” Abuto ordered. “Guess it’s time to start fighting on foot.”

“Sir the other ship landed. Shall we-“ Kasai was cut off by the captain as he put his hand up.

He motioned his hand and sent out a signal by digital message to have more Naraku men go down there to meet the rebels instead. The captain left the room, leaving the ensigns and lieutenants alone there.

“I’ll never understand him..” Kasai thought to himself.

As soon as most of the terrrorists were able to stand they opened the main entrance of the shipand were met with an overwhelming crowd of Naraku soldiers. Shinsuke and Gintoki in the front of them all.

”You ready Shinny?”

”As much as you could guess, Ginny.”

“YAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Shinsuke and Gintoki jumped off the ship, drawing their katanas as they did and stepping on Naraku’s heads as they landed. They immediately started slicing up the dozens of men in perfect harmony with each other, the rest terrorist crew and Shinpachi looking in awe at the dazzling display of their flawless samurai procession.

”WELL JUST DON’T STAND THERE! SHINSUKE-SAMA IS WAITING! GET GOING! MOVE MOVE!” Matako ordered and they all flooded onto the desert plains of Koukan. 

“FOR KATSURA-SAN AND LEADER!” Both the Kiheitai and Jouishishi terrorist members yelled together.

Matako just stood there at the entrance for a second, sighed and smiled at the mixed group of both factions serving under her captains as an united organization for the past two years now.

“Katsura-sama, if I do see you again, I would like to tell you thank you for not letting me feel I’m losing him to you. For letting me feel like family..”

“KIHEIT-SHISHI!” She yelled as she jumped into massive wave of people, twirled out her rifles and starting going at it with rounds.

“AAHH!” Sadaharu had picked up Shinpachi when he wasn’t looking, put him on his back and the two headed in the midst of the battle grounds. Shinpachi fought off some with his own sword as his dog was biting up the other ones charging at them.

Before the terrorists knew it, a bunch of black caped individuals invaded the area and landed massive blows to the Naraku with their superhuman strengths. Shinsuke accidentally bumped into Abuto as they were slashing goons up.

“Was starting to think you had second thoughts on rescuing Kamui, I know I would.” Shinsuke joked.

”Heh, I’ve had double, triple and quadruple thoughts about rescuing that loudmouth slurpee boy.” Abuto kicked back another square in the nose and it caused a domino effect a few others so that they collapsed too. 

Shinsuke noticed Gintoki and Shinpachi near himself now.

“Gintoki, glasses brat, the other brat’s large white dog.” Shinsuke said while slicing up two more Naraku. “I’m thinking I need a Odd Job right now. Find our idiot friends, maybe punch Tatsuma in the stomach. He owes me 1300 yen.” He blocked an uppercut, grabbed the poisonous arrows from the man’s hands and flung them back into his neck.

“But Takasugi-san we can’t just leave you all-“ Shinpachi started.

“GO!” Shinsuke stabbed another Naraku in his stomach and kicked him down with a thump. 

“Okay midget, but let me tell you. Our prices for a job plus everything we did earlier doesn’t come cheap. I’m expecting something like a solid gold toilet after this all ends.” Gintoki replied.

The silver samurai then lashed onto Sadaharu’s tail, grabbed Shinpachi by the waist and they both landed on the dog’s back. Sadaharu ran into deeper of the enormous space ship. Shinpachi briefly looked behind him at the sea of yato and terrorists. Years ago they were fighting against him now for him. He got a little choked up but turned his attention ahead.

“Bansai! My left side for fuck’s sake!” Shinsuke slashed four heads on his right as he kicked the other four on his left side down with his legs.

“What’s wrong, old man? Having a hard time keeping them off?” Bansai smirked. As the four Narakus on the left were slowly getting up, eight more joined their side. “How are you doing Koukan? Welcome to Exploding Feminism’s first interstellar concert!” He kissed his guitar’s pick with the word ‘Yammy’ etched into it. “This first one’s for a very special black coat.” 

He strummed it and the razor sharp strings of his guitar lashed onto the goons necks. He strummed again and they were slit open, blood splattering like a waterfall. 

“Is it me or has this Naraku army extremely gotten bigger since it was in Edo?!” Matako jabbed one of them in the face, kicked and shot another two.

“This army isn’t just of the Naraku anymore Matako-chan, it’s anyone of any where who would rather work for the Tendoshu then go back to the devisation of their home world.” Takechi commented.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING SENPAI?!” Matako yelled, the feminist was crouching and hiding behind her.

“I am a pacifist remember, Matako-chan? T-t-the ships s-s-strategist..” Takechi answered back in pure terror. “I-I-I accidentally locked the keys in the ship and couldn’t go back to it..” 

“For god’s SAKE!” She angrily tried to turn around to get him away but he kept turning before she could grab him. 

“You know I was getting worried that all that touring made you band geeks forget how to be terrorists.” Shinsuke elbowed one of the goons in their ribcage to the floor as he sliced the belly of another.

-And we were worried about you getting soft all from that obnoxious yelling coming from your room every night.-  Elizabeth said with his sign in his beak and two swords in his flippers.  As Elizabeth had his back turned one of the enemies slashed his sword in his costume, leaving a tear revealing a part of his real face and shoulder. The duck made a loud irritated grunt.

“Aw, boo hoo. If you can’t take a few scratches then you can go back to your castle at any time, prince. And leave the battlefield to the anti-foreigner factioners who aren’t Amanto.” Shinsuke sliced down three more. 

Elizabeth then proceeded to knock him to the floor. The duck kept kicking blows to Shinsuke’s face as the midget was covering it and screaming.

“LIZZY HE’S ON OUR SIDE!” Matako shouted.

The five terrorists felt more alive then they’ve been in ages, it was action they were all secretly craving in from their boring routine schedules. Shinsuke turned his head to Abuto in the distance and they both nodded.

“Damn, this heat is painful. Of all the days I forgot my umbrella.” No Man used his strength to toss two enemies several kilometers away into another group of them. They all collasped to the ground. 

“Well Halfy, we’ll just do the best we can. Isn’t that right Hammy-chan?” 4th punched off goons as his husband had his back.

“Y’all just really called me that..” No Man squinted with his (sticky) eyes.

Suddenly Ham-san stopped fighting and turned completely to the other way. 4th looked up after he punched the last person coming at him. 

“Look..” Ham-san pointed in the distance at more ships coming their way. They both got No Man’s attention as well.

“I-Is that..” 4th’s put a hand to his face.

“I think it is, dogs. I think it is....” No Man took off his green cap in a moment of silence.

“Hey! What are you three doing-“ 

Abuto looked up from his fighting and saw what his three senior staff members were looking at. Six pirate ships of the Harusame...six other divisions. And here they were the famous outcasted seventh divison. 

“Yare, yare.. now the whole pirate universe against us decided to show up in this one place...” Abuto pitched his weary forehead.

Matako kept shooting bullets and kicking down the Naraku army before her. Then unexpectedly, she felt a hand push her back and she was knocked to the ground.

“Shin...? She turned around, looked up and covered her mouth. “SHINSUKE-SAMA!” 

He was spewing blood from a shoulder’s deep wound but quickly turned around to face the person who had almost hit Matako in the head but had hit him instead.

“Could that be?” Takechi helped his pal to her feet. 

The two stood some feet away from the other two, watching. 

“I’ve heard of some unstoppable beast who had stepped up to the plate as head of the Naraku once Utsuro had died and Oboro stepped down. The captain completely gave the Naraku power once more and helped their ties with the Tendoshu again after Okinawa was over. I think name was... Hitsugi.” 

Matako put her hands to her mouth again trying to handle her concern. Shinsuke and Hitsugi idly stood facing each other as others continued fo fight in the background.
————-
Odd Jobs continued to zoom on their trusty dog steed, Gintoki having his arm out with his wooden katana to knock down the guards on the way.

“Gintoki?!” A familiar voice called out from a hallway. They followed the voice into a room and found themselves facing a prison cell.

“It is you!” Umibozu said in shock but then his mood changed. “I’m gonna have your perm head for allowing my daughter to travel through space all alone and wind up here.” Umibozu getting his hitlerstache self worked up.

“You know what Baldy, maybe I just won’t save you now.” Gintoki crossed his arms and turned away like a little kid in a tiff.

“Wait! Don’t go! Please!” Umibozu got on his knees and whimpered. “The food here is just tormenting!” 

“Gintoki?” A voice from the other cell beside Umibozu’s called out. 

“I-IT’S THE SHOGUN!” Shinpachi put his hands in his hair in disbelief at the man dangling from chains. Shigeshige hushed him. 

“I’m so glad to see you both here. Now listen you two. It is extremely dangerous here.” Shigeshige continued. “You should get out while you still can.”

“If we didn’t know it was dangerous we wouldn’t have risked our asses halfway across the galaxy just to come here. No offense, Your Majesty.” Gintoki replied.

“We gotta get the key, do you know where it is?” Shinpachi asked.

“Unfortunately the only one with the key is Nobunobu and he’s somewhere lurking on this ship. I’d be careful if I were you two.” Shigeshige commented. “Nobu is highly dangerous, just getting to-“

“Oi it’s right over there.” Gintoki picked his nose and pointed to the wall next to them.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” Shinpachi yelled. 

“Hmm I told my little cousin earlier to go drink plenty of water  to stay hydrated, he must have forgotten them on his way to the vending machine.” Shige recalled.

“Shogun-sama, no offense I think you might be way too kind to others who want to take advantage of you..” Shinpachi said silently.

Gintoki took the keys off the hook and put them in Shigeshige’s lock.

“Alright gonna shimmy and shammy the key into here and-“  The key had snapped off inside the lock.

“W...What...” 

“GIN-SAN!” Shinpachi clamped his hair in his head. “That was the only key!”

“Stop shouting so much Patusan, you’re gonna alert the whole damn space station that we’re here!” Gintoki yelled back.

 “You’re the one shouting now!” Shinpachi loudly whispered. “Now what are we gonna do, the Shogun said this was the only key!”

“No he didn’t, he said it was the only stupid cowboy shaped key left.” Gintoki held up half of the key on his finger. “For all we know Pachi, there could be countless other keys out there for this door. Clown ones, frog ones, clown frog ones.” 

“You’re making that up just to cover your ass for what you accidentally did!” The glasses kid shot back.

”Maybe try to look under that conveniently placed coffee table next to the microwave and water cooler.” Shigeshige made a motion with his body to the left.

“OI WHEN DID THAT GET ALL IN HERE?!” Shinpachi yelled.

“What do you mean Pachi Boy, it’s always been a little lounge in here. The author is just terrible at describing scenes, just look at her work on that battle scene we had earlier.” Gintoki shook his head.

“I don’t think its your area to critique something like that Gin-san. Writing is a lot of hard work! Now let’s find another key.. hopefully...” Shinpachi replied but Gintoki continued his rambling.

“This is why she should just stick to banter, the only thing she’s even remotely decent at is dialogue with no scenes to have to describe. Just some ‘hey Barky look at me I’m a stupid purple child who only got popular this year in TBC’ or ‘hey Gin im Shinny, let’s go to Moe’s man I love to talk about banging Zura and drink yakult with my one eye’ type of pointless dialogue. ” Gintoki was getting mad at me, but at least I still had my personality.

”Haha, I do love a good bantering. Let’s start one here. Uh, Shinpachi-kun! Your glasses are pretty cool. I’d give them a thumbs up if I wasn’t shackled and dying.” Shigeshige said.

“No man, you gotta ruffle up someone’s feathers. Oi, hey Baldy.” Gintoki said.

”Yeah?” He asked.

”Why are you still in this scene.” Gintoki deadpan replied, Umibozu started to get worked up.

”EVERYONE STOP BREAKING THE 4TH WALL SO MUCH AND YOU’RE GONNA MAKE THE AUTHOR CRY!” Shinpachi barked. Thanks man I appreciate the support. “You’re welcome, author. But maybe in the future, it would be a good idea to focus on writing more than bantering though. ” Oi, oi. So now the talking glasses is gonna preach to us. “KNOCK IT OFF AND GET BACK TO THE PLOT!”

”Hmmm.. maybe an extra key is one of these lounge room magazines...” Gintoki went over to the coffee table and picked up a magazine, he opened it. 

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH”! He dropped it like a gay hot potato and got in a fetal position in the corner of the jail room. Shinpachi facepalmed.

“Gintoki.” Umibozu called out from his cell. and the silver perm walked back to his cell.

“I found another key.” He whispered in Gintoki’s ear. A pissed off Shinpachi was just staring at them both from a short distance, hands on his hips.

“R-really?” Gintoki’s eyes got huge. “O-oi thanks Baldy, you’re really saving my ass here.. Where is it?” 

“Oh it’s in..” Umibozu made it look like he reached in his pocket but then he grabbed Gintoki’s shirt through the bars. “YOU GOTTA GET ME OUTTA HERE! I’m claustrophobic and I-I think maybe the stale Koukan air here is starting to make my hair thin a TINY TEENY bit!”

Gintoki kicked him in the old stomach and he fell to the cement on his ass, causing him to let go off the samurai. 

“Quick! I hear more guards coming!” Shigeshige exclaimed.

Gintoki and Shinpachi looked at the jammed, half broken key inside the hole. The two dove for it. 

“If you let me just try-“ Shinpachi watched as Gintoki was pinching his fingers in the lock to get out the broken part. “Gin-san, here let me try!”

“Shut up! We don’t have time for this!” Gintoki tried jiggling it with no results. 

“Try jiggling it!” Umibozu yelled. 

“What do you think I’m doing bozo?!” Gintoki then turned his head as he heard his dog barking in the hallway. “Sadaharu!” 

“He must have wondered away while weren’t paying attention!” Shinpachi exclaimed. 

The boys ran to their pet as he was bulldozing down Naraku guards. Sadaharu then with his tail launched them on top of his back and kept galloping through the ship.

“No Sadaharu! We have to go back and rescue them!” Shinpachi detested to the furry beast.

“There’s nothing we can do without a key right now anyways, Patusan. Let’s just see where he takes us.” Gintoki stated. “Unless we find a clown key or a clown frog key..”

“OH GET OVER THAT!” Shinpachi yelled. “That’s not even a good joke! It’s like the bottom barrel of ones.”

The dog finally reached his destination, a dark room with a blue hue coming from the middle of it. He sat them down and they walked over to see what the light was.

“K...KAGURA-CHAN!” Shinpachi’s eyes filled with tears, Gintoki’s pupils shrunk. “And there’s Kamui-san and Steve-san! How did the Tendoshu all capture them all? Is this some sort of stasis..?”

“Help me up here.” Shinpachi looked up and Gintoki already had climbed to the roof of Kagura’s tank. The kid joined him up there and they tried grasping onto the sealed lid top with no luck.

“Gin-san, what are we gonna-“ 

In a blurred second he saw his boss jump down from the tank, take out his wooden katana and flung it at the tank. It cracked a hole and the blue liquid came flooding out as an alarm started to go off. Then he kicked the rest of the shattered glass with his foot. He did this all with such a force of pureaggression on his face that Shinpachi had never seen on the man before in his life. Gintoki then grabbed onto Kagura before she could fall. He sat her down, still holding onto her around her head so it wouldn’t touch the ground.

“Kagura-chan..Kagura-chan..” Gintoki looked down at her, tapping her face several times, desperately trying to get a response out of the girl.

She then started coughing, a good sign of consciousness.

“G-Gin...chan....I.. don’t feel so good..” She spoke very softly while shaking. 

“You! Intruders!” A couple of Naraku guards ran in and pulled out their poisonous weapons. Gintoki looked back at Kagura and she fainted.

“What did you do to her..?”

Gintoki gently laid her head down and got up with his sword “...What did you do to my employee?”

Shinpachi started to get down from the tank but there was a flash of the silver man’s katana, a brief moment of everyone in that room idle and then their heads rolled off, spewing pints and pints of deep red fluids.  

“WHAT DID YOU DO?”

More guards came and Gintoki went absolutely badshit with his sword like something in side of him had actually snapped for one time in his life. Sadaharu and Shinpachi could only watch as they were protecting unconscious Kagura on the floor.

“GIN-SAAAAAAN!”
_______

“It’s time to the two yato to go. The test results came back. They contain no Altana.” A Tendoshuu member dropped down paperwork of the tests their scientists did. They were in some kind of meeting room inside their ship/space stayion. Surrounding Naraku and Harusame extras started talking amongst themselves, the Harusame leader there. Nobunobu sat in the middle of it all silently, hands folded. Tendoshuu then called called for their silence.

“Steve is another story. But they’re all free of Altana. Except...this man.” The Tendoshu man pointed to the Nameless Man who walked in and took a seat. Nobunobu’s displayed a genuine shocked expression.

“Y-You..?” Nobunobu started. “You have Altana?”

“Aw, surprised to hear that pardner? Well I’m not a natural Altana freak, I just ingested the crystals earlier. But man does it work wonders with healing! I’ve had scars that were there for years after the war and zip, gone!” Nameless smiled and crossed his arms.

“Nameless individual, Altana crystals contain more power than you could ever imagine. But ingesting them is fatal. I hope you are aware of the repercussions of what you did.” Another Tendoshu member added. 

Now Nobu couldn’t believe it. That idiot with the goatee had actually played himself for once. The shogun couldn’t wait to hear what his reply would be.

“Eh, we all gotta die sometime, right?” Nameless got up from the table, Nobu’s mouth dropped. “Now if you excuse me gentlemen, the last segment of the event I’m hosting is about to begin. But I’ll let you know if those crystals back come up to bite me.” 

Nameless playfully nudged a Tendoshu and then left the room. Nobunobu speechless from that man’s lack of caring. 

“Altana or not we still want Captain Kamui though. He is a traitor to all of the Harusame for severely lacking his duties and we plan on his execution.” A Harusame representative told the them, the Tendoshu nodded in agreement. 

“And for the Harusames cooperation during all of this and their troops to help out the war, they shall be one of the first to reap the benefits of the Tendoshu’s galatic empire.” The Tendoshu member proclaimed and they all shook hands, the Harusame leader leaving the meeting room.

“You know,” Nobu started. “Letting that Nameless Man just willy nilly with them Joui rebels and do whatever he wants is a bad idea, right?” Nobunobu looked at the leader at the end of the table. “How do even know if we can trust him?”

“That’s not your area to judge.” They replied back to him. Nobu felt really annoyed now.

“Excuse me? Do you know who you’re talkin’ to-“ They all suddenly stood up, catching the Shogun off guard.

“Shogun Nobunobu. Let’s see the position you’re in right now. You are a man stuck in the middle of the galaxy, several lightyears away from his kingdom on Earth. You are not ruling your country right now so you are taking orders from those who helped put you there on the throne.”

One of then continued, the others still stood up and stared at the man. 

“Now look at this nameless man. Doing everything we have asked him to with the Joui rebels, taking orders and now he has Altana in his system, even if it’s not natural. An immortal with immortal blood able to sustain the galatic domination empire he takes orders from.”

“Utsuro...” Nobunobu put two together. “You just wanted another Utsuro.. You want for his immortal blood for your own personal gain to forever have a control over the universe. That’s what this is all about truly. And also for them other powerful beings like Steve ‘n Joe ‘n Oboro ‘n whatnot..

“Just remember what power we chose to give you. How easily it can be taken away.” 

All the members got up to leave the room, leaving Nobu alone there with his thoughts. He sat there with his hands in his hair for a few moments before punching the table in frustration.

Nameless was walking in the ship and back to the outdoor spectacle, hands in his pockets. He had a sense of renewess with his immortal powers.

“Really took a chance out there with those Tendos, eh Nameless?” He chuckled to himself.

 Then he felt and remembered something he had in his shirt pocket that had been nearly rip to shreds with his battle with Pakuyasa. He pulled it out and his face went dark as he looked at the three people on it.

“It could never go back to the way it was. The way with me, the way with Pakuyasa.. if he’s still alive that is... the way with how you were too.” His hand started to shake. “Those damn Joui 5.. Those damn self centered monsters... This event will make them five pay for causing that explosion leading to your death..”

Meanwhile outside of the spacecraft station on the battlefield with the Jouis, a man was looking up at the pink skies above him.

Another Joui member walked up to him.

“Hey! Hey you!” Who are you?” The guy asked and the man turned around. “Huh, I don’t think remember your face before. Come on! Help us out here with these monsterous snake things!”

“The name’s Kurokono Tatsuke. It’s okay, people tend to forget what I look like often.” The man smiled and shook the guy’s hand. “And my bad, I guess I was caught up in the scenery. Let’s go!” Kurokono and the guy ran back to fight more Orchois.

“Us backgrounders won’t forever be stepped upon and forgotten my brother in arms... my best friend.. Kurokono.” Nameless put the picture back in his pocket and continued to his dome seat. 

TBC

[Aya♥]

 

Hasegawa drew a large breath from his cigarette as his own theme song rang out in his head,

"Three whole months cooped up in this cell out in space...for what?  Why did they arrest me?  Because I'm a former government employee?"  Hasegawa spoke to himself.  A Naraku guard banged on his door,

"Keep it down, you're keeping the other background TBC characters awake."  Hasegawa's face grew dark.

"Such is the life of a Madao...forever confined to a cell after being dead for several arcs, coming back to Okinawa, and now I'm here..."  Hasegawa shook his head.

"Could you keep it down over there?  Some of us are resting up for the next arc!"  Hasegawa heard the screams of characters who's irrelevancy could not be understated.  The author felt a boot in his mouth, but continued to write anyway.  Suddenly, just as if things couldn't get any weirder, the wall to his cell exploded and there stood a blonde haired robot staring at him.  Madao's cig fell from his mouth and began to catch the mattress on fire.

"I'm not waiting around any longer while my Sensei is in Edo, missing.  Plus, Yes Man-san owes me 5 bucks."  Genos walked into Madao's cell and put out the small fire.  Madao was shocked to see one of the top heroes of Edo standing in his very cell.  "You."  Genos pointed at Madao who leapt back on his bed.

"M-me?"  Madao looked confused.  Genos flung his hand in the air and showed a small hologram,

"To the heroes of Edo and beyond, I call upon you to aid in our fight against the Tendoshu!"  Hasegawa was shocked to see a familiar face, Barkas from the planet Oukoku.  The hologram continued, "Teaming up with Enshou, the Gun Smoke Prince of Burei, we plan to counter-attack the Tendoushu's grip on our allies!  Gather yourselves, and take down those good for nothing traitors!"  the hologram dissipated while Hasegawa looked on with determination.

"Hasegawa Taizou.  I know who you are, and I know your ties to Oukoku's leaders.  Take us to Barkas and the Liberation Army."  Genos pointed behind him to the various TBC characters who didn't make the cut in the main arc pie.  Hasegawa crept out of his corner to see the wave of characters standing in their cells, each wall blown out by Genos.  "Don't worry, Tatsumaki and myself took out all the guards fairly easy.  After Kiyoko-sama was able to hack into our holding cell's forcefields after months."  Kiyoko giggled,

"I'm fairly good at hacking, not just writing!"  Kiyoko said, unvailing a fairly nifty skill.

"Using such grunts to guard two of Edo's most powerful heroes, a shame.  If Sensei was here, he would stop all this from happening easily...what foe could have taken him down within these past months..."  Genos pondered.  The camera cut down to Edo, in ruins,

  "Ahh, I gotta get some groceries tonight."  Saitama woke up, not really caring or realizing the destruction around him for the past few months.  The camera snaps back to Genos,

"We must warn our comrades of such a dangerous threat.  Hasegawa-san, you are our only link to Barkas, may we be in your stead as you lead us, the background characters of the Hangover Arc?"  Genos said, kneeling in front of the Madao.  Hasegawa was stunned but put his head down,

"To think, after all I've gone through...to be relied on now..."  all he could do was chuckle, reach into his pocket and pull out his pack of cigarettes.  Genos looked up, worried he wasn't going to accept the offer.  The ragged old man sparked up his lighter and drew from his drag.  He turned back to his comrades,

"Someone show me the way to the controls, we're going to save our friends."  Genos smiled and stood up as everyone else cheered in the cells, all chanting "Madao"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Shinji."  Shinji was half asleep when he was woken up by his father.

"Dad, can't I rest?  It's been awhile since we've been able to sleep."  Shinji and the others had to change hiding spots every few days to keep the Tendoushu off their tails.  Their current hiding spot, the hideout the Jouishishi rebels used during the war, was equip with beds and food.  The smell of freshly cooked beef from Gedomaru and Uncle Billy filled the living quarters daily.  Gendou was rocking Gendou Jr in a make shift crib next to Shinji.

"Shinji, this is important for you to hear this from me...I've never really had the chance to convey my feelings about you before."  Shinji managed to sit himself upright with his upper body strength to listen to what his father had to say.

"Shinji, I might not always be there for you...hell, I was never there for you since your mother passed away.  Forcing you to work under me in the convenience store, NERV, and even pilot the very soul of your mother, should have never happened.  Deactivating her made me realize much more now how much of a shitty person, no, a shitty father I've been to you."  Gendou stopped rocking his younger son's crib and reached into his pocket.  He pulled out his wallet and dug into it, pulling out a small picture.  He handed the picture to Shinji, showing him, his father, and his mother smiling, together.  It was before the horrible accident that took her life, and scarred Shinji to this day.  Shinji gripped the picture tight, tears beginning to swell in his eyes.  "Keep it Shinji.  I can't be forgiven for the things I've done to you or the people around you, but I want to at least extend something for you.  I know now might not be the best time for olive branches, but I never know when the last time I'll see you again will be.  Let's survive this together, and go back to how it was before the takeover."  Gendou stood up and walked to the door, about to enter the pseudo living room of the hideout.  Shinji whispered, just loud enough for Gendou to hear him,

"Thank you Dad..."  Shinji looked at the photo a little more, before placing it in Gendou Jr.'s crib.  Gendou walked into the bangest BBQ of all time,

 

"Well shit, if it isn't the Old Man himself!  Had some father-squirt bonding eh?  Well, we fixed up the grill.  Me and Gedo got the meat cookin, and the veggies steamin."  Billy said, flipping over the meat.  Isaburo was trying to sleep, but got relegated to the bed in the living room where all the ruckus was.  He was furiously texting to someone, no one knows who though.

"Oi, should you be resting up.  You're beaten to hell you disgusting white coat."  Hijikata said, closing Isaburo's flip phone.  Isaburo looked up at Hijikata with disgust and laid his head back down on the pillow.

"Like you would care, I'm just worried about my email buddies.  I haven't gotten anything back from any of them, not even Nobume."  Isaburo looked down-hearted saying Nobume's name, hoping she was doing well.  Hijikata sat down at one of the folding chairs and sighed with a plate full of meat that looked like it came straight from Hell.

"Hell, me and my men are all worried about someone in this war.  Steve has been missing all this time, and I'm so helpless...it just isn't right damn it."  Hijikata stabbed the meat with his katana.  "Big Blue hasn't seen any of his fellow acting friends either.  Kondou hasn't seen that fake Otae-san either.  We just have to keep having hope, even if its diminished to nothing."  Hijikata took a bite of the meat and fell over, almost dying.  Luckily, he had his mayonnaise to dowse the heat.  Kyuubei and Otae were taking part in Otae's side dish she prepared for the BBQ.

"Otae-san, I haven't heard from Bansai in a few hours.  Usually he keeps me updated on Wapchat Stories, but he's gone dark."  Kyuubei said, worrying a bit.  Otae comforted her friend,

"Don't worry Kyuu-chan!  I'm sure he's doing just fine!"  Otae said, with a smile on her face, but she too was worried about her brother and Gintoki.  Gendou grabbed a plate and sat down next to Ozu who was holding up a picture of his wife.

"It's been a very hard few months Hasegawa-san.  Being without Kiyoko for so long has really wore me down."  Ozu said, stuffing the picture back into his suit.  Gendou patted his friend on the shoulder,

"It's hard, but you have to believe she's safe Ozu."  Gendou said, reassuring him.  Ozu wasn't convinced,

"What if that damn Yorozuya swooned her while I was away...I can't bare that feeling."  Ozu said, starting to get angry.  Gendou just smiled awkwardly and dug into his Hell Meat.  The camera cut to Oboro getting hit in the face with a crayon.

"This is getting absolutely ridiculous.  We sat through a montage and he's still fumbling.  This is the great power that will save us?  A man named Joshua?"  Oboro said.  Poe flew off Oboro's head to retrieve the crayon for Josh.  Poe swooped down and dropped the crayon on his head,

"Ow!  That kind of hurt, damn bird."  Josh said, scratching his head.  Joe hushed him,

"I would say that too loud, Poe is immortal you know."  Joe said.  Josh just face palmed, still trying to take everything in.  Joe got his cousin's attention,  "Look Josh, you have to focus.  Once you've accepted where you're at and the realization of everything happening, you'll find your power.  Now, please trying drawing a tree again."  Joe said, handing him his notebook.  Josh took Joe's notebook and crayon and started to draw again.

'Gotta focus...a tree.  First the trunk...then the leaves...'  a weak tree popped out of the book and wilted instantly.  Joe shook his head, but then remembered something.  He smiled to himself,

"Josh, I know what you're doing wrong."  Joe said.  Josh looked perplexed.  "You haven't even addressed them yet."  Joe pointed at the readers.  The people in the audience were confused.

"Do you think he's pointing at me?!"  Tama said, excitedly, but then excusing herself again.  Josh looked confused,

"What do you mean by them?"  Josh said, but then he heard something answer him,

"Hi Josh!"  he heard a chorus of people say.  His face fell into complete horror.  Joe rushed over to him,

"Now now, I know this sounds even more insane, but trust me.  They are your number 1 source of power.  Isn't that right guys?"  the voices answered back in agreeance.  "Just ask them what you need to draw and explain it Josh."  Joe said, letting him go again.  Josh took a deep breath and looked directly forward,

"Alright guys!  What do we need to draw?"  he scoffed at himself, thinking it be silly, but they answered.

"A tree, a tree!"  they called out.  Josh was shocked, he then took crayon to paper and started to explain his steps,

"A large trunk, and then at the very top, some leaves!"  then a large tree, brimming with life came sprouting from the notebook, reaching the top of the stadium's dome.  Everyone in the audience looked on in awe.  Joe put his hand on his head,

"Wow, that's...that's amazing Josh."  Joe said.  Joe was rather impressed with this huge feat of drawing ability, but he still needed to get that Skadoo test perfect.  "Josh, you have their power behind you now, try and Skadoo one more time."  Joe put the piece of paper down on the field, while everyone in the crowd leaning in anticipation.  Nobume even took her sunglasses off.  Josh took a huge breath,

"Alright guys, what do I need to do?" the audience answered,

"Skadoo, Skadoo!"  Josh smiled and started the dance,

"Blue Skadoo'd, we can too!"  and Josh was off in a flash.  He shrunk down perfectly to the paper.  "H-hey, I did it!  I actually Skadoo'd!"  Everyone in the audience roared in cheers and applause.  Josh skadoo'd back out of the paper and hugged his cousin.

"I think you're just about ready Josh, but I have to warn you, it could get a little ugly out there.." as Joe was talking, the loud roaring of cheers was so loud, that it could be heard on the surface.  The ceiling was already busted through by the tree, and dozens of Naraku soldiers dropped down.

"Halt!  You are all wanted by the Tendoshu, surrender or face the consequences!"  the leader of the small squad said.  Joe smirked,

"I hope you're ready to test those new found skills cousin!"  Joe sharpened up his arm and started to slash at the soldiers.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Nameless sat in his throne staring down the battlefield.  He spotted the lump that was his former comrade, Pakuyasa.  He looked at where his wounds used to be, completely healed with the power of the Altana.  It was painful, and he still felt sluggish after the fight.

"Uhhhg..."  Nameless was holding his head, knowing his grand finale was about to begin.  "Pakuyasa, why did you have to force yourself to fight me...what drove you so much to fight for those people."  he stared at the long haired noble, and the hero skeleton taking down Orochi's with ease, even fending off some of their old Joui comrades.  Nameless hit a buzzer and a large man carrying Tatsuma stepped out of the ship's dock and onto the battlefield with the rest of the Joui's.  Nameless snapped his finger and a microphone rose from the ground,

"ALRIGHT YOU BLOODY FUCKS!  WE'RE ONTO OUR MAIN EVENT!"  he clapped and the Orochi's went back down into the ground.  Skele and Zura were panting, covered in scratches and blood.  "So much BLOOD and GUTS spilled today!  It's like a meat factory out there, I mean come on!"  Nameless clapped for himself,

"Let Tatsuma go you scum!"  Skele yelled.  Nameless shook his head,

"No dice, he's in for a world of trouble!  Yeah, a lot of trouble..."  Nameless set the microphone down.  He slouched back into his chair, his thoughts drifting.  The Altana was beginning to mess up something in his body, the fight he had with Pakuyasa exhausted him to such a state that he was in now.  "That damn laughing man...How would he remember."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nameless's mind drifted years into the past, his days fighting in the Joui war.  Countless dead bodies laid around him and his comrades.  Some Amanto, some of his own men.  The moon was waning, and the sun peaking out from behind the mountains.  The facial hair clad man laid back against a rock, blood seeping from the top of his head after he removed his helmet.

"Need a pick me up?"

"Kurokuno..."  Nameless grabbed the Pocari bottle from his friend and took a huge sip.  He needed a refreshing drink after the hard battle they just fought mere hours earlier.  "How do you stay so upbeat Kurokuno?  You're always ready to give us an assist if we need it...you don't gotta do that for all of us."  Nameless put the lid back on and handed the drink back.  Kurokuno smiled and knelled down next to him.

"You're all my comrades, my brothers.  You, me, and even our good pal Pakuyasa-san!  We may sit in the back and gather assists, but at the end of the game, that counts as points for our shooters."  Kurokuno pointed to a man laughing his head off.  The man noticed and walked over,

 "Were you pointing at me?  I was just about to head back to base and meet up with the others.  You two should come along and rest up!  AHAHAHA!"  Tatsuma walked off laughing.  Nameless was pretty annoyed at this, but brushed it off.  He was use to this man laughing, as he'd fought along side him a few times before.  Being in the front line with him, and yet he doesn't get a single hello, or how are you doing. Just a general, rest up and laugh.  Nameless clutched at some pebbles near his feet.  He looked back up at Kurokuno,

"You're going to join them right?  Don't bother waiting for me Kurokuno, I'll catch up in a bit."  Nameless tossed the pebbles he held against another rock near him.  Kurokuno looked at the back of the Loud Fellow as he made his way to the base.

"I was hoping to livin up the base with a fun game of kick-the-can!  Get the men a little bit of moral.  Does that sound like a good idea...Kaname-san?"  Nameless looked back to Kurokuno, kind of in shock.  He never once told anyone his actual name, let alone his past.

"How do you know my name?"  Nameless asked.  Kurokuno chuckled and pointed at the hilt of Nameless's sword.  It read "叶夢" on top of it.

"Your name means "dream come true", a very beautiful name.  Why don't you use it?  I don't think anyone else around here really knows who you are."  Kurokuno put his hand on Kaname's shoulder.

"Don't let your name go to waste.  It's beautiful.  Let's say after I finish this game of kick-the-can; me, you and Pakuyasa-san can grab lunch.  On me of course!"  Kurokuno lifted his hand and signaled for a fist bump.  Kaname stuck his hand out and bumped Kurokuno's.  Kaname looked on as Kurokuno twirled the bottle in his hand and waved behind his head.  It was but only a few hours later, the disaster of Kurokuno's death took place.  After being ambushed during their game of kick-the-can, the rebels rigged their base to blow up whilst Kurokuno was still inside the building counting to 100.  Nameless slammed his hand down on his throne in present time.  His memories rushing back to the night after Kurokuno's death.  He was laying there in the grass, far away from the rest of the rebels, as he couldn't even trust them anymore.  He never heard from them about the accident, as his only clue of his demise was the Pocari can that lay discarded in the burning rubble.  There was only one other Joui rebel staying back with him was Pakuyasa.  Pakuyasa was sitting a few feet next to him, his knees up to his chest,

"Do you...really think they just let him die?  That can't be the case..."  Pakuyasa was deep in thought, but Nameless was laying there with intent in his eyes.  The intent however was vague, as it was muttled with tears and regret.

"I let him go Pakuyasa...it was my fault he left to go with them...why did I trust that laughing bastard.  Damn those 4...DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!"  Nameless pounded the ground next to him, nearly hitting Pakuyasa.  Pakuyasa barely reacted,

"Do you remember that time me, you, and Kurokuno took this picture?"  Pakuyasa handed Nameless a picture,

  Nameless couldn't hold it in any longer, the tears were beginning to flow as the memories of his friend were flooding back.  Pakuyasa continued,

"Right after a successful battle, we were so young those few years ago.  The beginning of the war is so much different than it is now.  We went and had a few drinks, partied and had to wind down before we caused too much chaos."  Pakuyasa chuckled at this, tears swelling up in his eyes too, as he was beginning to get choked up himself.  "He told us, "You two are my best friends in the whole world.  I may be a runner boy for the higher in command, but to me, I'll pass you guys the ball whenever you call for it.  I would even die for you guys".  Maybe that last part was fueled by the alcohol, but I don't believe that...he really would have put his life on the line for us."  Pakuyasa looked over but didn't see Nameless there.  He got up and looked around, but saw nobody.  Nameless had gotten up and sprinted towards the old base that was torn to tatters.  It was only but a mile away, yet even in the darkness, he never stopped running.  He didn't care who would stand in his way, he had to get back there.  After his run, out of breath, he sat down at the foot of the steps.  It was the only part of the building not turned to ash after burning down.  A few feet from him was the can of Pocari, untouched, and undisturbed.  Nameless drew his katana and stuck it through the can, stabbing it into the dirt.

"I won't let them trample over us any longer..."  Nameless looked down at his name etched into the top of the hilt,  "My name..." He bent down to grab a hand full of ash and soot.  Nameless began to cover his name up with the debris, effectively fading it out till it was almost unrecognizable.  "I am no one...I've always been no one, and I always will be no one...Kurokuno, I cannot forgive our comrades for what they've done to you.  You told me to live my name....my dream is to rid the wrongdoers of this land...the so called "samurai"."  Nameless walked out of the base, opposite of his fellow Joui members, never to fight alongside them again.  Nameless's mind drifted back to present time, Tatsuma was struggling as the large man was hoisting him in the air,

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  WHY DID YOU STRAP A BOMB TO MY CHEST?!  I'M NOT ZURA OR TAKASUGI!"  Tatsuma was struggling, but to no avail.  Skele and Zura began to run towards the large man, but Nameless came over the intercom,

"Don't touch that large gentleman there...if you do then that Loud Fellow is gonna go...BOOM!"  Nameless said.  Zura and Skele stepped back, getting more cautious.  However, Nameless was interrupted by one of his subordinates before his main event could begin,

"Sir...we've lost two of our captives and...one of the Joui rebels has gone on a rampage.  He's tearing up our ship from the inside out."  Nameless grabbed the lower ranked lackey and tossed him through the glass dome that was separating him from his Main Event.

"MAIN EVENT'S CANCELLED!  AGAIN!"  Nameless started to barge into his ship, knocking everyone out of his way until he started seeing damage on the ship.  It was being torn to shreds, blood was filling each corridor.  Soon, the goateed man came face to face with a raging demon, and white demon.  "Well, well, well, if it isn't the Shiroyasha himself!  So nice to see you after all this time Ginto-"  But before he could finish Gintoki grabbed him by the face and slammed him into the floor of the ship.  The two went flying through the ship's interior, landing roughly 3 stories below where they started.

Gintoki lifted his hand from the man's face to get a better look at him,

"You did this to her...didn't you."  Gintoki was standing over the man, who's limbs were twisted and mangled.  His body was pierced about 5 times with stray metal pipes as they were plummeting through the ship.  The Nameless man only smirked as he removed the metal from his body, and fixing his limbs.  The Altana was still coursing through his body, relieving him of an untimely death.

"I needed to research her Gintoki, well not me, but the people who I'm working for.  I don't really like to call them that, really they're just using me, and I fucking hate it!"  Nameless was now standing up, perfectly fine, and now talking in a mocking tone.  Gintoki's teeth began to grate,

"You BASTARD!"  Gintoki began to hack and slash at the man with his wooden katana, the sounds of bones shattering and flesh being ripped was filling the near hollow interior of the ship.  Gintoki grabbed the man and tossed him back up the three story hole and back to the main floor, still walloping on him.  The Nameless man was taking it in stride, but soon realized he wasn't healing as fast as he did earlier, he was avoiding death one too many times.  He blocked Gintoki's slashes and flung him toward the jail cells.  Gintoki stood up and threw his sword at the Nameless man, striking him in the gut.  Gintoki began to run towards Nameless, but he too received a katana, a real one, to the gut.  Gintoki turned around to see Nobunobu standing behind him, his sword piercing Gintoki's back.

"I reckon I heard you broke my cowboot key...now I have to use my clown frog key to keep those pardners locked up."  Gintoki smiled at this,

"I KNEW YOU HAD A CLOWN FROG KEY!"  Gintoki broke the sword of of Nobunobu and slapped him with the wooden sword so hard it sent him through the walls of the ship.  Nobunobu was nearly unconscious, while Nameless pulled out a receiver.

"Alright Hitsu, you know what to do."   Meanwhile, while all this was happening:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!"  Shinsuke was slashing away at Hitsugi, but the much larger man was putting the pressure on the smaller man.  Shinsuke was about to feel the strike of Hitsugi's arm blade, before Elizabeth butted in and slugged him in the face with a huge hit of his antenna.  Shinsuke looked up as it was sitting through a hole in his suit.  "Do you really have to whip that out here?"  Elizabeth kicked dirt in Shinsuke's eye and blinded him for a second.  Bansai yelled,

"COME ON MAN, THAT'S OUR CAPTAIN!  YOU SAVE HIM THEN KICK DIRT IN HIS FACE?!"  Elizabeth shook his head as he ran to back up the 7th Division fighters from the other Harusame.  Abuto met up with Elizabeth,

"Yare yare, I hope the Captains don't leave their ships...it could get ugly."  Abuto said shaking his head.  Shinsuke was back on the attack of Hitsugi, but couldn't land a blow on him.  Shinsuke's sword was bending and bowing after every strike of the armblade.

"You're weak Takasugi.  I have Utsuro's blood flowing through me...you'll never defeat me."  Hitsugi slammed down and grabbed Shinsuke by the kimono.  He tossed Shinsuke in the air and nearly impaled him, if it wasn't for Shinsuke wedging his sword between Hitsugi's gauntlets and his arm.  Shinsuke flipped of his sword and pulled Takechi's out.

"You're not using this, right?"  Shinsuke asked, Takechi shook his head no.  Shinsuke readied himself, but before he could Hitsugi stopped.  He ripped the sword from his gauntlet and tossed it aside.

"You have good moves Takasugi, but you aren't ready to face me.  I have an emergency order to tend to.  I'll be sure to finish you off next time I see you."  Hitsugi jumped into the sky, and in nearly one leap landed on top of the ship.  The ship shook from the inside as the ceiling ripped open.  Hitsugi jumped down next to Nameless.  Hitsugi knelled down to the nameless man.  Gintoki slumped over next to one of the empty cells, starting to fade from the expended adrenaline and blood loss.  He looked down to make sure the stab wasn't vital, which it wasn't.  He slid down and looked as Hitsugi barreled through the hallway towards the chambers where Shinpachi, Sadaharu and the prisoners were.  Gintoki outstretched his hand, but could barely move.  Nameless walked over to him and stared him down,

"Look at how...pathetic you are down there."  Nameless was clutching at his injuries, now taking longer to heal.  "Don't worry, I will leave you friends alone...well that is your little red heads.  They're worthless to me really.  I'll be taking the bald one however, I kind of need his powers to end you samurai once and for all.  Oh, and not even the samurai at that...no!  Hahaahaha!  TO ACTUALLY THINK the Tendoshu had their thumbs so hard pressed on my little head...I laugh."  Hitsugi came back, carrying Steve's holding chamber on his back.

 "Sir, what are your next orders."  the large man whipped the blood away he received at the hands of Elizabeth.  Nameless and Hitsugi walked over to the hole in the wall that Nobunobu was sitting in.

"If you return to those big hat wearing freaks, you can tell them I ditched them cause I've known their little Naraku leader for a long...long time.  Tell them I don't need them, I don't need YOU, and I certainly don't need these weaklings running this stupid ship."  Nameless and Hitsugi began walking towards an emergency ship, but stopped to turn back to Gintoki,

"Gintoki, I wouldn't follow us unless you want more of your friends dying.  I've already dealt with Pakuyasa for betraying my trust.  I'll be sure to do the same with the rest of you Joui samurai."  he opened the pod and the two walked in.  Gintoki could only look on as he began to fade.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Haji, we don't have time to play Sai Battles, right now, we're battling some hard boiled detective work."  Heiji put his sai down on the desk in front of them.  His apprentice shook her head,

"Heiji, why aren't we in the prison with the other background TBC characters?"  Haji asked.  Heiji took out a glass of brandy from his desk and took a swig,

"Because Haji, this is our debut, so it's impossible for us to be background characters.  We've been tasked with important detective work from a Mr. Wakuyasa."  Heiji showed a picture of a sack of potatoes.

"IS THAT WHO ASKED US?"  she exclaimed.  Heiji put the photo in his desk,

"Yes, he instructed us to find more about these two people."  Heiji held up a picture of Nameless and a picture with a question mark that read "Kurokuno"  "Right now, I've done some very sleuth detective work Haji. I've seen and talked to shit you never want to imagine."  Haji shruged,

"I couldn't imagine something worse than the author's photoshop job on our picture."  she was very correct.

"I have more than just a cover story for a cheap 5 cent pulp magazine here Haji, I have front page of the Wdo Wimes Newspaper.  Take a look at this."  Heiji slid Haji a picture,

"I took this candid picture of the one "Kurukuno", slick detective work am I right?"  Heiji took a big puff from his cigar, but at the same time Haji rip the picture to shreds.  Heiji's mouth gaped open as he was in shock.  "MY WORK!  WHY DID YOU DO THAT HAJI?!"

"To make sure we don't get sued."  she said shaking her head.  "If you want to be used as a cheap, one off character, be my guest Sensei, but you have to have some sort of hard evidence!"  she was starting to get frustrated, as if having a sack of potatoes as a client wasn't enough frustration.  Heiji was still ready to produce facts however,

"As we can ascertain from the text above, I have all I need to crack the story."  Heiji began to steal the words I typed and put it as his own paper.  Haji slapped the papers out of his hand and lit them on fire with the cigar.

"If this is your attempt at comedy, you're failing."  Haji said, as I felt that was directed towards me, who was trying to liven things up a bit.  But, just then, the phone began to ring.

"This could be our big lead Haji!"  Heiji answered it quickly, nodded and said a few ok's before hanging up.

"Well Haji, it looks like our sub-subplot has been cancelled.  I guess it's back to cooking some fresh, hard boiled eggs."  Heiji brought out a pot and began placing eggs inside.  Haji could only look on and face palm herself.

TBC

[Cha]

“Hey Shijaku, do you like my braids I just did them during the commerical break.” Enshou said to his fellow prince.

“Hey Enshou..” Barkas started.

“Yeah dude.” He replied.

“Why are we.. HAVING A TALENT COMPETITION AND ON YOUR SPACE STATION DESPITE ITS A KEY TARGET OF THE TENDOSHU NOW!?” Barkas yelled at him.

“I don’t know man, why did you let me have a talent competition on my space station despite it being a key target of the Tendoshu now.” Enshou took a sip of his Woca Wola. “Besides Shij, this is the only way we can assure people will actually show up if we promised they’ll be on TV for it, isn’t that right camera men?” 

Barkas dug his hands through his frustrated face.

“At least do it for her..” Enshou opened his locket of lies again and stared at it.

“I’m about to chuck that necklace across the room.” Barkas said snapping his neck to towards him but Enshou just smirked at him sinisterly.

“I’d like that Prince Barkas of Oukoku. You know my heart only belongs to one, Lady TBC.” He held up his locket again. “She whispers in the pale moonlight of the night that I shall be the next arc’s villian and I shall watch you crumble beneath my boots, weakened and powerless. Whoopee coushin to a chair ATTACK!” Enshou an over to an extra chair in the corner of the room and put one down there. He then ran back to his judge seat and sat down.

“This is gonna be all day.. NEXT!” Barkas pitched his forehead. 

A familiar robotic man walked into the room and up to the audition stage.

“Hello my name is Genos and I- Aaah!” Genos slipped and got covered in boo boos. 

“AHAH!” Enshou shot up from the judges table and pointed. “My banana peel trick has left you incapable of walking tin headed freak! Give me your cybernetic implants now as payment of your disgraceful failure for my galatic empire as TBC’s next main villian.”

“Man he got me good.” Genos said as Hasegawa came into the room as well and helped him up. Others walked in such as Kiyoko what was the Lilymu crew and two of the heroes of the Hero Association.

“Hey.. I remember you.” Barkas pointed to the sunglasses man. “I think your name was... Hasegawa! My little brother Hata hired you to do a bunch of odd jobs for him on Earth.”

“AH AH! Shij, we agreed. This contest needs to be fair. Nepotism is strictly forbidden!” Barkas put his hand in front of Enshou’s face and continued.

“What are you doing here?” Barkas asked.

“Well you see Prince, me and some others were all captured by the Tendoshu into space and managed to overpower one of their vessels to come here.” Hasegawa explained.

“And I had heard of a wanted ad for recruits against the Tendshou and alerted the ones around me to said events.” Injured Genos sat down in a chair near the stage and it made a fart noise.

“AHAH!” Enshou shot up again. 

“Man, he got me again. How does he do it?” Genos picked up the prank item from his robotic bottom and examined it.

“This is why I left this space station...” Barkas sighed out.

“So is this really a contest, dude?” Kiyoko asked him. Before Enshou could speak up, Barkas pitched his lips shut.

“No but we do need recruits. Hasegawa and the rest of you, are you sure you want to get involved into something like this? We’re down to very few men and need all the help we can get. But this isn’t fun and games, it’s war and it’s serious hard work. All of you will have to prove you’re up to the challenge.” Barkas explained to them all.

“Up to the challenge?! We’re in the Hero Association cherry boy! None of us wanted to be here. Doing minor hero jobs like this is BELOW us, me especially. I just wanted the screen time.” Tatsumaki crossed her arms.

“I wouldn’t call saving the entire universe from being controlled by an evil empire as a minor job. But if you’re as great as you say you are miss, then proving yourself won’t be any challenge.” Barkas straightened up his papers and Tatsumaki hmmph to the other side of the room.

“I will prove my worthiness for my fellow Heroes, Sensei and for this TBC comedic subplot.” Genos shot up to the stage again and fired up his cyborg arm.

“NEXT!” Enshou yelled out.

“But all you heard was my OST-“ Genos was pushed out of the way by an energetic former WouTube star.

“HELLO IT IS ME SUPERCODPLAYER1995 AND I DESERVE THE MOST AMOUNT OF SCREEN TIME EVER 10000000000000000000000 TIMES MORE THAN PEWDIEPIE!!!” Raj said this at a super fast rate. He linked his four fingers together in a chain, put his hands behind his back and made them appear like he broke them apart.

“BLACK MAGIC! DISQUALIFIED!” Enshou accused him. 

“HEY RAJ IS INDIAN YOU RACIST!” He yelled back and Barky facepalmed.

“THIS IS SUPPOSE TO BE ABOUT BEING ABLE TO FIGHT!” Barkas was absolutely gonna lose it.

“Well we play action characters on a show, what’s the difference?” Lily walked up to Raj and purposefully bumped into him so that his plates he was now spinning on sticks all fell and broke on the floor as did he. Mitsuki and Guano also walked up to the stage.

“Y-You four are just actors...?” Barkas exhaled slowly. “And you came here despite the fact that this event is to help fight in a war..?”

“Well we’ll try really hard Mr. Prince Barkas! Honest we will!” Mitsuki chimed in.

“Look.” Hasegawa stood in front of them all now. “No army is perfect, Prince. I mean just look at that one, he’s a purple midget.” 

“HEY!” Guano yelled out.

“But these guys really want to help out and save the day. Why not give them a try?” Hasegawa smiled and Barkas rubbed his temples.

“Alright.. alright.. Being in a battle isn’t just about fighting and strength anyway, it’s about guts. And you.. interesting group of people seem to have that, at least.” Barkas then stood up. “But I’m afraid you still can’t join because-“

-A competition has to have three judges in order to be balanced.- A familiar duck signed as he dramatically opened the doors and stood before them all.

“Hey, I remember that gigantic freakish bird. That’s my friend Katsura’s duck, Elizabeth.” Kiyoko said and Elizabeth nodded.

“Y-You?!” Barkas was shocked to see his older brother standing there. “What are you doing on this station?”

-I have little time to explain. But I was sent here by someone named Mutsu-san of the Kaientai. I’m not sure any of you know her. Anyway, the planet Koukan is under attack by the leaders of the Tendoshu, Naraku and Harusame. They plan on completely taking over the galaxy and the universe from this planet directly. We need more hands to fight there. Will you help us?- Elizabeth signed on two different signs.

“Koukan! Of course..” Barkas put his hands up in emphasis. “That place has more Altana in it than anywhere in this galaxy. I wish I knew this earlier. We’re so little down on men between our allies in the Liberation army now..” 

Before the prince could continue in his thoughts, there was a banging on the door and it busted down with dozens of Naraku. 

“You are all under arrest by the authority of the Tendoshu galatic empire.” The leader of that subdivision exclaimed. 

Him and some others ran towards the surprised group but suddenly slipped on the ground and their faces landed in coconut cream pies.

“AHA!” Enshou exclaimed. 

Barkas, Enshou, Hasegawa and everyone else all started to run away from the army. Tatsumaki used her telekinesis to grab a hold of some of them and fling off the station while Genos blasted the others. The station was already physically falling apart from previous encounters with the Tendoshu and the strain of all these people on it at once was making it shake.

“Oi! What’s going on?!” Hasegawa asked Barkas.

“This place is gonna crumble from all the stress its had recently with the war. We have to get out quickly. Follow me.” Barkas lead Hasegawa, the other two princes, Lilymuers and the two Heroes through an escape route. 

“We just need to get to our ship we had parked out in front of the station..” Hasegawa said as they came to an exit but it had been destroyed not by the Naraku but from someone’s bad parking previously. “WHAT THE?!”

“HEY DO NOT BLAME RAJ SMELLY CARDBOARD MAN! HE HAD A JOB VALETING CARS BEFORE!” Raj spitted out. Tatsumaki telenkinesed his lips shut. 

“E-Elizabeth-san! You must had something to arrive here, right?” Hasegawa turned to him and he nodded.

-Follow me everyone.- He signed and they all ran through another route until finally arriving at his vehicle. The group quickly into it and sped off as the station completely collapsed within itself.

“And just like that it’s gone...” Enshou put his hand on the window as his beloved space station him, Barkas and their allies built and spent several years in exploded. “No wait, here it is! Phew.” He picked up his locket that had fallen inside his boot.

“Wow, this is some fancy spacecraft here, bro. Makes me sorry I never visited your ship before.” Barkas chuckled but Elizabeth just shrugged it off and continued steering it. “Everyone. You all showed remarkable courage back there and I commend you for it. Now here comes the ultimate tests my brothers and sisters. Koukan.” 

“Might want to save that celebration for later, dude..” Kiyoko pointed to a large asteroid belt coming towards them. 

They all were shocked but Elizabeth quickly started to steer the ship in several different directions to avoid the rocks from hurling at them. Enshou helped out by manning another station as Barkas stood behind his big brother’s chair, staring at the belt trying to grasp what to do next.

“I..I knew I shouldn’t come out in space like this..” Madao’s shivering hand reached out for something in his pocket and pulled out rope and a step ladder. Barkas put his hands in his hair in disbelief.

“OI, WHAT THE- Hasegawa-san what happened to being the leader of your group?! Now you’re trying to kill yourself?!” Barkas yelled and desperately tried to snatch the noose from the man’s hands.

“Raj can’t handle all this drama...Aah!” He dramatically fainted into Lily’s and Guano’s arms but they dropped him instantly.

“Yo, cherry boy we got bigger problems then suicidal losers!” Tatsumaki pointed outside to more Naraku ships on their tail to a shocked Barkas.

“Miss couldn’t you use your green floating power thingy to make them stop?” Mitsuki asked her.

“Hmmph. Why should I, blue haired freak?” Tatsumaki asked and Mitsuki looked sad. “None of the other top superheroes would even come to this stupid singing audition or whatever so I was stuck with a low level superhero at my side!” She exclaimed. 

In the background Genos was looking over at Enshou’s station and at his locket but Enshou slapped him away. Genos then caught a glimpse of Tatsumaki and waved.

“You should be thanking me that I even came here, elf ears!”  Tatsumaki crossed her arms at Barkas. The prince was about to come unglued now, he walked up right to her, straight face to face.

“Why SHOULD YOU?! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE IF YOU DON’T HELP-“ 

-You can have my screen time.- Elizabeth signed, his eyes still focused on flying the ship.

“Hahaha! Finally!” Tatsumaki smiled big. 

She then quickly flew to the end of the ship and begun to focus her psychic superpowers on the asteroids blocking their path. They were pick up by her telekinesis rays and then flung at the Naraku ships, causing an explosion that hurled their ship faster away.

“You’re welcome, cherry boy.” As she flew by she pushed Barkas out of the way with her hip.

-Hang onto your britches. I’m about to put this baby into turbo warp speed.- Elizabeth shifted the gear up to maximum, then pulled out a vintage mix tape from his suit and hit GO! 

The rest of the gang all flung back to the walls from the pressure of the speed. 

“OI END ME! PLEASE END ME NOW!” Hasegawa cried out as his old man back was breaking.

As they continued flying at super fast rates, Elizabeth spotted a pink colored planet. He had the ship hault to an immediate stop, causing everyone to fling foward and smack to the window. 

“Thanks..” Barkas added.

As they slowly got their composures back, they noticed a ship orbiting around it was shooting off the several enemies attacking it.

“Looks like we made it! That one there must be Mutsu-san’s ship all by itself.” Hasegawa said joyously. “I knew I could do anything I set my mind to as leader.”

“YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING BUT TRY TO KILL YOURSELF!” Barkas barked out. 

Suddenly there was an incoming call and Mutsu was on the line.

“Hello, Elizabeth, I see you got more recruits for us. Great job.” She stated and Elizabeth nodded. Barkas then turned to his team, smiling.

“Well, didn’t think we could make it this far but somehow we did. But the battle has just begun new recuits! And together we’ll defeat the corrupting forces of the galaxy as colleagues, friends!” He raised his arm up in victory, most the others of his team doing the same.

“Yeah for the fire man!” Guano proclaimed.

Barkas then caught sights with Elizabeth. “And as brothers, Dragonia! Let’s win this war!”

“Who is Dragonia.” Elizabeth spoke out.

“...E-eh?” Barkas said slowly and put his arm down. “That didn’t sound like your voice, Drag...”

The individual popped his head out of his duck’s beak.

“My real name is Eren.”

“EHHHHHHHHHH???!!!

“General Eren to be exact. Forgive me for not introducing myself properly. My species are trying to learn to verbally talk and show their real faces again after previously being controlled by Sagi, the artificial planet we created many years ago and... boy this arc has so many characters and lore.” He wiped off his forehead as did the author who had to rewatch episodes to remember most of this.

“GET TO THE POINT BIRD MAN RAJ NEEDS SPACE FOR LINES OF HIS OWN!” Raj barked as he had finally regained consciousness from earlier.

“Anyway, I am the leader of my species, the Renho.” General Eren then smiled and shook the paralyzed Barkas’s hand. “At your service, Prince Barkas of Oukoku, brother of Regular Elizabeth. Good to meet ya! Want a Wintendo cartridge?” He pulled out two from his suit and took a bit into one of them.

“I...I...I..” Barkas stuttered.

“Yes, sorry for not properly explaining.” Mutsu stated. 

“Y-YOU THINK?! That’s a WAY understandment, Miss Mutsu!!” Barkas dragged his hands down his face.

“Well before I knew a bunch of useless background characters were gonna help us out at Koukan-“ Mutsu continued.

“WHAT.” Raj yelled.

“-I asked the white devils known as the Renho to help the Kaientai. The Renho are known throughout the galaxy for their flawless tactical knowledge and invasion skills. And it was the least they could do after we helped them regain their freedom and became allies with Earth.” Mutsu explained and Eren nodded but then started to sweat.

“Well that friendly debt to pay and uh...” Eren started to flashback to a conversation he had earlier via interspacial webcam.

“Members of your race are the ones who invaded and took Draggy from me and my family all these years.. and that’s not nice adorable birdy. You’re gonna help out my other big brother with this war, Mr. Ducky or you will pay for this intergalatic royal accident...” Hata said with huge smile, he then pointed outside to his pet cemetery and Eren comedically gulped.

“That sounds my boss to me.” Hasegawa added.

“But I really can’t understand this Altana nonsense at all because my people haven’t lived on a real planet in generations.” General Eren shook his head. He then looked out the window and smiled. “However, what I do know is that Katsura-san was my Uno buddy during my temp job on Earth. And this Monday Elizabeth willing to do whatever it takes to make sure he’s okay. Plus I love Koukan! I went there last year on my honeymoon with my Fumiko.” He pulled out a postcard.

“The rest of you. Since the Renho can take foot on Koukan, how would you like to help me man our giant robot Kaien to defeat what’s left the Naraku ships up in orbit?” Mutsu asked them.

“What giant robo-“ Barkas saw before his eyes as Mutsu’s ship had completely transformed into a giant mechanical being. 

“W-WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT KIND OF SPACE SHIP DO YOU HAVE MUTSU-SAN?!” He yelled.

“GIANT ROBOT YEAH!!” Hasegawa and the gang cheered waited for Mutsu to beam them aboard her ship. 

“I CALL THE CROTCH!” Raj yelled out before he was beamed out by pretty lights.

All that was left was Enshou and also Barkas who was still frozen in shock. Eren waddled over to him.

“Prince Barkas. I am truly glad you are here. I needed you on board with us, you are crucial to this mission.” He told him.

“O-oh, well glad to have you aboard General, even this quite all unexpected!” Barkas smiled and rubbed his hand behind his head.

“No, I mean. I needed you on board because Regular Elizabeth, your brother never paid me for my work as Monday Elizabeth. I asked him recently for it again and he sent me a message that I’d have to contact ‘the old man’. I’m guessing you know then how I can get paid from him?” Eren asked the prince but he didn’t reply, just staring ahead with the same dead expression.

“So I don’t get it. Is your brother the lost big antenna prince duck or is he this duck who tried to invade Earth and plays Uno.” Enshou asked his fellow admiral. 

Barkas ripped Enshou’s locket from his neck and chucked it against the wall. He then walked outside the ship as it was landing on Koukan.

The Renho ducks landed on the planet and stampeded out of their ships. They started pummeling the Naraku and the other six division Harusame pirates.

-LUCKYS.- The real Elizabeth signed and desperately tried to put back more cloth that had fallen off his withering costume with no luck.

Shinsuke at seeing this truly horrific sight dropped down and covered his head to avoid being trampled on by endless clones of his greatest nightmare.

“WHAT THE FUCKKK?!!!! THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFEEEEEE!!!” He screamed on the top of his lungs.
————————————

“Joe and Oboro they’re here, our great leaders!” A Naraku spoke into a communication device to the Tendoshu. “And we think they’re with that new powerful individual you were talking about!” 

“Joooooe!” Josh watched as the Naraku squads flooded into the stadium. He looked around for what to do.

Tama, Monika, Oboro, Poe and Kintoki all stood up from the bleachers and stared around them. They quickly sprinted towards and started climbing up the tree that was penetrating through the stadium’s ceiling and into the home of Gengai. Josh was at the bottom of the climbers when suddenly a Naraku grabbed his ankle and started pulling down. Joe quickly grabbed his wrist.

“Kick him! You gotta kick!” Josh said and Joe snapped out of his fear. He stepped on the man’s face and the gang continued to climb until reaching the house and bolting it outside on the streets of Edo.

“They’re just gonna keep flooding the city until they find you three.” Tama looked at Joe, Josh and Oboro. 

They keep running, huffing and puffing at tremendous rates to find some shelter.

“We have to go back to Koukan, Abuto hasn’t messaged Tama-chan in hours. I have a gut feeling in my pixels that all our friends are there!” Monika pointed to Tama’s phone.

“Skadooing? Into a phone? Is that possible?” Josh asked.

“Well, you skadoo’ed into paper.” Joe said. The gang had stopped behind an abandoned store to catch their breaths.

“Yeah but that was different. This is a halfway across the universe we’re talking about skadooing into!” Before Josh could comment further, poisonous needles were thrown right next to his head.

“I don’t think we have time to debate this!” Oboro said and the group started running again. Tama got out her phone and dialed Abuto. 

“Oh please pick up, please pick up, please.” Tama said. “Oh hey Abuto-sama!” 

“Eh? What’s up?” A confused Abuto asked watching them all run from his end of the screen.

“GIANT DUCKS, GIANT DUCKS EVERYWHERE, DOGS! No Man was heard yelling and sprinting away in the background of Abuto’s end.

“We’ll all be there in just one moment, honey! Please stay on the line!” Monika exclaimed. “Quick everyone!” 

Josh looked at Joe who smiled. 

“You do the honors, cousin.” Joe said.

“Okay. Here it goes. Blue ska-“ 

“HAULT NARAKU TRAITORS!” They begun flying more needles at them, causing Josh to lose his focus.

“You do it, Joe!” Josh said.

“I can’t, something about skadooing with my rusted arm in the paper made it almost impossible to skadoo back the last time. I’m not sure if I do one this big we’ll all be safe!” Joe confessed.

“Oh now you throw that plot twist out there, Joseph.” Oboro said and Joe made an irritated noise.

“We have to get to higher ground away from these unfashionable freaks.” Kintoki pressed a button on his jean jacket and physically turned into a flying car before their very eyes.

“I... don’t even have the dialogue space for that..” Oboro stated and they all climbed inside of it. 

“We’ll be safe on top of the Edo terminal station, that’s the tallest building here. They could never reach it.” Tama said while driving the flying Kintokimobile. 

They zoomed to the metallic tower and begun flying up the very steep incline. 

“You made sure to put plenty of gas in this right.” Nobume asked from the backseat.

“Mukuro, why on earth would this.. thing.. need gas into it?” Oboro and Poe crossed their arms.

“Who’s the cop here that has to drive all damn day long for a living?” She replied back.

“Uhh, I knew there was something I forgot.” The Kintokimobile then started to fall, everyone was screaming now except Nobume.

“I told you all.” She said.

“SKADOO INTO THE PHONE, JOSHUA. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SKADOO!” Oboro screamed, him and Poe covered each other’s eyes.

While everyone was frozen with fear, Josh gripped onto the passenger seat in front of him and managed to snag out Tama’s phone from her pocket. 

“What the hell is going on out there?!” Abuto asked him.

However, Josh had accidentally bumped his hand against one of them and it flung out the window.

“NOOO!” They all shouted. 

Josh looked around, hands in his hair and to everyone else, but then knew what to do. He pushed open the car’s door and jumped out of it.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE I DID THISSS!” Josh yelled. 

“JOOOOSH!” Joe jumped out as well, the others following him. 

“Guys I see the phone it’s still falling!“ Josh yelled out.

“Josh use your notebook!” The audience called out.

“RIGHT!” He hastily pulled out his notepad and begun drawing something. “A parachute! F-First we make the top and NO-!” He lost his balance and the pad and tablet pen slipped out of his hands. 

“Skadoo Josh! Skadoo!” The children audience begun yelling out in support.

“I...I...” Josh stumbled, he and the phone were almost about to hit the ground head first.

“SKADOO!” Everyone behind him yelled. Josh finally regained his composure and looked very determined.

“HOLD ON EVERYBODY!” Josh yelled out, the phone was now a mere few feet away from him, he finally grabbed it. “ BLUE SKADOO’ED WE CAN TOOOOOO!” 

An overwhelming blue light temporarily engulfed the city, causing the Naraku and everyone still in the city still above ground to marvel at the sight. 

Josh made it right before he hit the pavement, Joe, Monika and Poe started growing smaller and vanished inside the phone. Nobume, Oboro and Tama begun to shrink too but the Kintokimobile had bumped them, causing them break out of the flow of skadooing energy.

Nobume whipped out her sword, stabbed it in a crack she saw in the metal plates of the tower. In a flash she grabbed Oboro’s hand. He reached out for Tama and Kintoki’s but missed them by an inch. 

“DAMN IT!” Oboro exclaimed. They both watched in horror as the two androids kept falling and then out of their sights.

Suddenly ear-deafening burst of wind swiped up beside them at the building. A giant mechanical being landed on top of the terminal, carrying in its hand, Tama, Kintoki and another person.

“HEY KIDS! Sorry I never answered ya! I was walking one day when I stumbled across this underground community and met THIS beauty!” Gengai laughed.

The EVA Unit 001 made a roar loud enough to echo through the city, Oboro and Nobume watching, bedazzled. 

Meanwhile Gendo picked up a letter he saw sitting on his son’s bed.

Dear Dad, 

I met the most interesting old man the other day! I told him all about what happened to the EVA unit and he was able to fix it within a few days. I didn’t have the time to show you for myself, the man made it clear he had something to do with it first before we could give EVA... No... Mom back to you... back to us. I just want you to know despite everything that has happened, I’m proud of you and I accept you back into my life as a family. I love you with all my heart.

Love, 

Your son Shinji

Gendo had tears form in his eyes and stream down his face, Grillin’ Billin’ walked up to him and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. 

“LET’S DO THIS!” Shinji yelled out from within the Unit and it started to fly towards Nobume and Oboro. 

“Mukuro, y-you saved me?” Oboro asked.

“Dorkus, I was trying to save everyone. But I guess consider us even from back there earlier at Nobunobu’s truck.” She said.

“You say that but you grabbed my hand first. There was four of us and you just chose me out of all of them. Admit it Mukuro, you care for me.” Oboro teased but she started kicking him in the head with her boot. “S-STOP! YOU’RE GONNA MAKE US BOTH FALL! AAAAAH!” 

They landed on EVA’s other hand and the robot flew until went down on the ground and let Tama, Kintoki and Gengai out of it.

“What? We’re not going along the epic finale? Beep beep.” The Kintokimobile spoke out.

“No, no, no. You almost got us all killed with your lack of preparation. Now no more screen time for the both of us.” Tama talked to him like a parent. “Besides, we got everyone we need right here.” She smiled and looked at Gengai.

“Okay you two. This ride into space is gonna get bumpy, so I’m gonna have to have you come inside here with me. But hold your breath for the blood.” Shinji told them from inside of it.

“Blood?” Nobume and Oboro both asked confused. 

The EVA bot tossed them into the air, open up its head and they fell inside the red liquid chambers with Shinji. The two held their breath and looked at each other with surprised expressions. 

“Here we go!” Shinji and the bot disappeared out of Earth’s atmosphere in a flash, Gengai and his androids waving them off.
——-

“Mami...”

“The Nameless Man, where did he go?” A Naraku man from Nameless’s force field chair spot had whispered to some other guards.

“What’s going on up there..?” Zura wondered, he finally had caught his breath after battling it out for days on end now. “It’s been hours since that goatee man has come back. 

Zura and Skele both watched now as the Naraku members begun pacing nervously and some running off, possibly to tell their leaders of Nameless’s absence. 

“THE BOMB!” Zura and Skele remembered.

“Ahahaha! GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!!” Tatsuma was then dropped by the large man as he left his thoughts concerned with what his fellow Naraku officers were getting worked up about. 

The bomb had only less than a minute until it would wipe out every Joui outside of the space station. The other Jouis that were able still walk crowded him now and were distressed.

“Move aside, I do this for a living. ” Katsura eased his way into the crowd, Skele behind him and begun tickering with it.

“C-Come on Zura! Aren’t you skilled with strap-on bombs? Get me outta of this thing before your ol’ buddy goes kaboom!!!” Tatsuma was trying to wiggle his way out of it, but it was made out of metal and impossible to. 

“It’s a strapped on bomb, not a strap-on bomb you filthy mind!” Katsura barked at him. He regained his focus. “There! RUN!”

He tossed it in the air right as it hit 0:00 and it briefly made a large booming sound in the sky. 

“I can’t thank you enough, Zura! You really know your way around strap-ons!” Tatsuma patted him on the back.

“SHUT UP!” Zura replied back, getting flustered around his fellow male comrades.

“All the blue monsters and Naraku guards have left! We gotta try escaping this place!” A Joui rebel said, others agreeing with him by shouting. 

They tried running away from the space station and into the deserts of Koukan itself but were met with force fields surrounding the entire station like a dome. 

“Damn.” Katsura said frustrated.

“Maybe we can try going through where we came from, the exit doors of the station.” Skele added. 

“No luck there Skele, remember I was electrocuted by it?” Katsura replied. “They’re probably locked from the outside anyways.”

As they were thinking of more solutions, the ground begun to shake. It was more stronger than any other of the earthquakes from the Orochi they had felt previously. They all looked amongst themselves with fearful expressions. The ground split open and suddenly a monsterous Orochi three times the size of the ones they saw before emerged.

“Y-You guys think that’s the mama..?” Skele pointed a shaking boney finger at it. It made a deafening roar causing Tatsuma to throw up on the ground. 

“RUN!” Various of them proclaimed, going in all sorts of directions but the mama Orochi wasn’t having any of it today. She begun scooping up screaming Jouis in her mouth and swallowing them whole. Katsura and Skele continuing to run like hell, Tatsuma throwing up behind them and leaving a trail of disgusting pixelated barf. 
————————
Gintoki still had a stomach wound from Nobunobu’s katana as he begun hazily stepping into the hole where Nobu laid. He just stood there, glaring at the man below him. Shinpachi was on top of Sadaharu with a passed out Kagura behind them. They had finally caught where his boss had run off to, back to the jail cells. Shinpachi’s eyes went wide at the sight of it all. 

“I.. I reckon you have the upper hand, samurai.” Nobunobu said with a quiet voice, coughing up a little blood. “But whatever you want to get from me, it can’t take away the fact I finally rid of that goddamn goatee freak.” He chuckled to himself. Gintoki just kept staring.

“Come on Shinpachi, let’s find Zura and the others and get out of here.” Gintoki said with the upmost seriousness, he dragged his injured body over to his dog. Right before he could hop on, in a blink of Shinpachi’s eye he saw something coming before he could warn Gintoki. 

Gintoki felt the same katana as earlier flying his way but he blocked it with his hand, now dripping in his blood. Shinpachi looked with horror.

“And I reckon with this burst of energy that I feel like the Shogun more than ever.” Nobunobu had got up, wiping the blood and grime off his face. 

Gintoki turned around, dropping Nobu’s sword at his feet and faced the man for several idol seconds.

“Come on, let’s go Shinpachi.” He repeated and turned around. “This is nothing more than a sad puppet who thinks he’s the Shogun.” At these words Nobunobu got furious and picked up his sword and hit Gintoki again, this time right below his heart.

“GIN-SAN!” Shinpachi jumped off the dog and stood between his boss and the other man. “A-at least defend yourself, dammit!”

 “No Shinpachi, I will not.” Gintoki then spoke to Nobunobu again. “I’m not worth your energy.” His back still facing Nobu and his hair covering his face. Nobu looked puzzled. Shinpachi’s look was a mix between confusion and earnestly trying to hold back tears. “You already took down the girl. If you want to knock me around some more and spill my guts be my guest I really don’t care but she really needs me right now you know?”

“G-G....” Shinpachi’s tears started to flow, unable to hold back now. 

Nobunobu on the other hand, didn’t care for that little speech at all. He suddenly clashes swords with surprised Shinpachi, the kid’s feet digging into the ground to hold off the pressure. Another swipe and Nobunobu had swiped the teenagers feet to the ground and flung his sword across the room, leaving him weaponless. Nobu striked again but before he knew it, Gintoki snapped around and grabbed his unsuspecting Shogun self by the throat. 

“If you try something like that again puppet, it will be more than those strings of yours that I will cut.” Gintoki said in a gritty tone, enough to cause a twinkle of fear in Nobunobu’s eye.

“Nobu.” A voice called out behind Gintoki. They all turned around to see Shigeshige and also Umibozu free from their cells. Gintoki let go of Nobu’s gullet. 

“My key..!” Nobunobu looked for it all over himself.

“Honestly don’t know how you do it sometimes, Gintoki. Man what a tacky little key.” Umibozu examined it and then tossed it over his shoulder.

“Damn samurai.. he must’ve taken it somehow during my fall.” Nobu said quietly to himself. 

The southern man went into attack them all now but Shigeshige then stood in front of them. His nose a mere inch from Nobu’s blade. 

“If you wanna fight, let’s do it what it’s really about. A family squabble and one over a mere title of all things.” Shigeshige looked him right in the eyes without a trace of fear. Nobu’s face tightening from pouting. 

Shigeshige then made a slight gester with his hand for the others behind him to get going. Shinpachi got up from the floor put his arm around Gintoki to support him. They all got on top of Sadaharu and left the room.

“Come on, let’s give you want you wanted. The  chance to kill me by your own blade.” Shigeshige told him, still keeping eye contact with his younger cousin. 

Unexpectedly Nobu dropped his weapon and jumped on top of him, knocking Shige to the ground and begun to punch him with his fists in fire of juvenile rage. 

Kagura-chan!” Umibozu cradled her unconscious body in his fatherly arms and tears formed in his eyes. 

“Mami...”

“Did you hear something?” Umibozu looked up from his daughter. 

“Mami...” It started slowly getting louder.

“It sounded like it was coming from the other room with the chambers.” Shinpachi stated.

“Mami’s....” Louder.

“You don’t think.. he’s here?” Umibozu asked the boys.

“Oh he is alright, and he’s definitely more pissed off than anybody here.” Gintoki said, holding his injuries. 

“Mami’s...

Mami’s.. Orochi..

MAMI’S...

MAMI’S PLANET!”

 

——————————

“What the hell..?” Zura took a second from running and looked up hearing an loud explosion and alarm going off in the space station. Moments later earthquake-like trembles were coming from within side of it. 

The Tendoshuu opened their office door to see several Naraku officers laying there in their blood in the hallways, debris from the ceiling had fallen on their heads or they seemed to be brutally murdered by some unknown beast. The Harusame Leader and some of his men came hustling up to them. 

“Captain Kamui busted out of his tank and destroying this entire station from the inside out in matters or seconds!” He said.

“We have bigger problems on our hands. Steve and that Nameless man have disappeared. Apparently also with Hitsugi who unknown to us until overheard by some guards that he’s an Altana being as well.” A Tendoshu member told him.

“That shouldn’t be the most important thing right now. That redheaded demon is literally gonna completely collasp this place with all of us in it and we won’t have the time to escape!” The Harusame Leader shot back. “And we had a deal that he would be contained so we can properly execute him when the time came.”

The Tendoshu simply walked away back to their office.

“What are you big hats gonna do about it? Huh?!” The Harusame Leader demanded. “We just might take our damn troops out of here and the war then!” 

“ZUUUUUURRRAAAAA!” Tatsuma came running up behind him, the giant monster was now on their, Skele and two other men’s tails. 

“Zura janai Katsura da!” Katsura yelled out. 

“Oh you’re go back to your first gag ever as a character now when we’re about to be gobbled up like happy hour at Moe’s?!” Tatsuma replied.

“Wait, the DOOR! THE DOOR!” Skele pointed in the distance, the enterance to the station was now open for some reason.

But something had suddenly caught Katsura’s eye. 

“Skele, Tatsuma, alert the others of the door! Have them follow you into it right now!” Katsura ran off in another direction.

“Zura where are you going?!” They both yelled.

He finally arrived to a man crouched next to a slump. Katsura went in for a closer look and then his pupils shrunk. 

“WHOMSTVEYASHA!” He yelled out. “You’re alive! But that’s impossible, that man’s Altana sword went through your heart, I saw it myself!”

Pakuyasa still laid there on his back as the other man turned to the Noble.

“Listen Katsura, Pakuyasa is still in really bad shape. I don’t think he can answer you in his current condition.” The man said. “But I believe something in his kimono had protected the sword from completely going inside his chest.” The man opened it and Katsura just smirked.

“He always did love buying Gintoki and the rest of us snacks when we needed them.” The man smiled. 

Katsura was a bit confused on how this man acted like he knew his friends so imitately but didn’t have the time to do anything but to get moving. With the man’s help, Katsura hoisted Pakuyasa off the ground and begun running to the door where the other Jouis and the monster was still chasing them. 

“They’ll never all make it in time before that beast snatches them all up.” Katsura said.

“I can create a distraction to get the Orochi off their tails and you can take Pakuyasa with the others inside.” The man took his arm off of Pakuyasa and then sprinted towards the Orochi.

“Wait! What about you?!” Katsura said to him. The man stopped for a second.

“Me? I’m just doing what shadows do. Appearing because the light is out.”

Zura’s eyes went wide.

“Kurok-“ Katsura’s attention then snapped back as he heard a minor explosion coming inside the space station.

“Tatsuma? Is it me or is that station crumbling from within?” Skele huffed.

“Still rather be inside of there then out here with this oversized worm! AHAHAHA!” It nearly took a bite of his ass and he yelped. 

Katsura and Pakuyasha caught up with the gang as they were about to approach the door. 

“THAT INDESTRUCTIBLE MONSTER WILL KILL US BEFORE WE GET THERE!” Another Joui member said. 

“Hey! Hey!” 

They all suddenly heard a shadow man’s voice behind them and the Orochi mother. He kept kicking her on the back and it somehow caught her attention. 

“Yeah you! Giant worm! How about we distress this situation with a little kick the can?” He smiled.

The monster turned around long enough for all the Jouis to finally make it inside. Skele looked shocked to see the skeleton guard from earlier keeping the door open this entire time.

“Y-you?” He asked,

“Hurry up, keep moving! Before they come-“ The guard was then sliced in half by a Naraku and Skele caught the guard’s top half before he fell. 

“Why...Why did you save us?” Skele asked him.

“Like I said earlier kid, war does all kinds of shit to us. Takes us places we never thought we’d be.” The guard was beginning to feel the life drain from him from his fatal injury. 

“My name is Skele. Tell me, what’s your name?” Skele made a little smile.

“S-Sharaku. Do me a favor Skele, keep our species thriving, no matter what hell gets thrown at us.” He whispered out.

“My father had that name too.” Skele teared up. Sharaku then ceased breathing and Skele put him down on the floor and saluted him.

The four and the other Joui members continued into the building unaware of the hells that laid ahead.

“K-Kuro...” Pakuyasa stared at the doors closing behind them before he passed out again.

—————————

The Nameless Man and Hitsugi were piloting an escape shuttle, the pink glow of Koukan’s orbit behind them. They managed to pass all the Kaientai and Naraku ship ruckus by being almost undetectable from their shuttlecraft’s small size. 

“Helps to escape by sensors when you’re already forgettable.” Nameless sarcastically claimed.

He flipped some switches and put it on cruise control for a while, it’s not like they had much anywhere to go now. Steve’s idle body was still floating in the blue chamber in the back of their shuttlecraft. Nameless loudly coughed and Hitsugi turned around to see he had blood on his hands from his mouth. 

“I know what you’re thinking Hitty. Damn those Tendus, why did they have to be right about the Altana.” Nameless pressed more buttons. Hitsugi tore off a piece of cloth from him clothes and handed it to him to wipe off the blood.

“You’re not suppose to ingest it or be impaled by it. It only works when someone born of Altana shares their blood with you.” Hitsugi spoke up for the first time since they escaped. 

“Well well well, the man of silence is speaking more and more lately! And you very much act like you said that from experience.” Nameless slouched back in his chair and put his arms over his head, smirking. “Hitty, I saw you get beat up back there and now look, you’re spotless! Cough it up.” Nameless actually unexpectedly coughed again.

Hitsugi didn’t reply, just looked to the side. Memories begun to flood his head of how he ended up in the situations he was currently in. One of first ones was back 10 years ago in a concentration camp for captured Joui rebels after the war had ended. Hitsugi had only joined the Naraku a bit more than a year ago but he was quickly rising up the ranks of his field. 

“Joui Prisoners 355-370. This is one of our chief guards, Hitsugi. He will be here further in this particular camp divison until the date of your executions. If you have any questions ask him.” Another guard said before saluting off Hitsugi and leaving the cell gate. 

Hitsugi looked around, nothing much of interest in that grimy, dark place, just the same dark stares of the prisoners wanting to tear his face off. He kept walking by each rowdy cell of shouting men until he came across a man huddled in the corner of his cell, his face between his arms. Not an unusual sight for Hitsugi, but somewhere inside of him he had a strange feeling about this prisoner. He tapped the bars of the cell to make sure the guy was still alive.

“Answer any question I have....huh? Hey big man, do you answer what the fuck I have left to go on for..?” Nameless said in a low voice, not once looking up from his position. 

Hitsugi just stood there, without a word. 

“I knew you couldn’t. So if I knew you couldn’t then why did I ask you? Hmmm, I’ll never know I guess.” Nameless continued. 

Hitsugi was about to walk away but then the prisoner spoke up again.

“It’s funny.. I was in a position when they found me to easily run away with my comrades and yet, I let myself be captured, willingly. Not like anyone else would notice my absence anyway. Life is kinda fucking funny that way. One person can mean squat shit to others but also it’s that same one person who can mean the entire fucking world to another person forgotten by everyone. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure? Huh, always felt like the expression shoulda been ‘another man’s world’ to me.”

Hitsugi turned back to look at the huddled man again once more before leaving his cell block. 

Forward in time ten years later, Hitsugi had been recently promoted to serve under second in charge of the Naraku, only outranked by Oboro. And then they had a recently promoted mysterious leader. As in tradition for the past 500 years, all the leaders of the Naraku (except Oboro) having the title of “Utsuro”. Hitsugi had been called to Okinawa along with Oboro to help their leader in some unknown secretive mission. The Naraku except Oboro were informed to be hidden on the island until the time came to take action. However, this had all changed once Oboro had been captured by Gintoki and Joe and was forced to spill secrets about Utsuro to them. After Oboro had done so, he was skadoo’ed into the cave where he could be treated for his er.. crotch related injuries but landed in front of a crowd of Naraku instead.

“Save it Oboro. You’re a traitor to all of us." One of them said.

"We know you betrayed Lord Utsuro. We got word from himself about it but also that you were of no use to him, anyways.” Another man spoke spoke out and came forward from the shadows.

"S-S-Sensei said I was of no use...after everything I've done for him...m-my entire life..?" Oboro asked.

Oboro had escaped only with the help of Nobume, leaving the Naraku to retreat for now. Later that evening for unknown circumstances, Hitsugi met with the Naraku’s leader for the first time face to face. It was two days before some big event with some famous band performing on that island to Hitsugi’s knowledge anyway, so it was pretty packed. He had to make sure to even moreso stay undercover.

“Sorry to finally meet on situations like this, Mr. Hitsugi. I just had to tell you in person that you have been promoted from Third Wing of the Naraku to Second.” Utsuro stared at the amber glistening waters in front of his hideout. Hitsugi’s eyes widened. “Surprised? Well.. I think Oboro rebelling against the Naraku has come for quite a while now... Sit, Hitsugi! I want to show you something since you are my house guest!”

Hitsugi was still very puzzled but did what his master asked of him and took a seat on a sofa chair across from him. Utsuro went into the other room and came back momentarily with china plates, tea cups and a tea pot. He poured one for the both of them and then took the seat across from Hitsugi. Hitsugi wasn’t that into it but took some sips not wanting to upset his leader.

“Being a member of the Naraku means much more than a title, especially now that you’re gonna be my second in charge.” Utsuro continued. “Being loyal to the organization is also another thing! But loyalty to me...” Utsuro put his cup down on his small china plate, making a small noise. It caused Hitsugi to snap his attention back to the man. “-That’s more important than anything. And I believe Hitsugi, that you could be very important to me, if not more important than myself.” Hitsugi nodded to him. “Well, I’ve heard you are quite the man of silence. They weren’t kidding! Haha. But that’s no problem to me. Well war and bonds with people does all kinds of things to us. Wouldn’t you agree?” 

Hitsugi nodded again but then looked on the floor and raised an eyebrow to himself. What this man was saying felt too close to home for mere coincidence. Before he knew it, Utsuro had walked over to his chair and lifted his head up. It gave Hitsugi an odd feeling, one he never felt before of chilling nervousness but also comfort. 

“Join me, Hitsugi. Help me keep the Naraku strong, no matter what happens to me on two days from now on Sunday.” Utsuro was looking directly in the eyes of the big man. “...Then maybe we can end your vow of silence brought by the loss of your wife and daughter during the war.” Hitsugi fell back in his chair from this. Seconds later, Utsuro had helped him and the chair up again.

“Lord Utsuro-sama...I-I’ve never told anyone in the Naraku of my past... how did you know..” Hitsugi finally spoke up, his voice somewhat shaking. Utsuro just returned to staring outside his window, the sun had set by now and the soothing glow of the moon was starting to show itself. 

“You can say I’ve lived a very long time, Hitsugi. Met more people and watched them die than I could remember. Had more people turn their backs on me.” Utsuro squinted his eyes but then regained his composure. “Remember earlier when there was something I wanted to show you?” 

Hitsugi simply nodded and Utsuro walked back to him.

“You have to promise me, though. Whatever happens to me tomorrow for better or worse... that you will carry on my name.” He put his hands on Hitsugi’s shoulders.

“I-I promise my Lord, I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy.” Hitsugi kept nodding for reasons he was unsure of himself.

“Close your eyes.” Utsuro told him and he obeyed. 

Hitsugi heard nothing until a brief razor sharp pain tingled across his arm. He snapped open his eyes to see his arm gushing out dark burgundy colored blood. 

“W-What....” He looked at it with horror.

“Second Wing of the Naraku Crows, you will make me very proud and I will be very grateful to you. There are things yet you do not grasp, secrets of the Naraku, secrets of the universe, secrets of everyone you have ever known and loved.” Utsuro was holding up his sword to his own arm now. He pulled up his sleeve and quickly sliced it open, spurting out the red liquid. Hitsugi was paralyzed by horror.

He then grabbed Hitsugi’s arm with his monsterous strength and used the blade to wipe some of his into Hitsugi’s open wound, all the while Hitsugi kept his shrunken pupils at the terrifying sight.

“W-What are you d-doing-“

“Do not fear, Hitsugi. Do not fear anything anymore. For you are immortal.”

TBC

[Aya♥]

"Yo Hitty, what's your deal?  I've never seen that expression on your face before."  the small ship was endlessly flying through space at this point.  Hitsugi leaned against the only window the ship provided.  His memories of Utsuro and his final days as his understudy were all coming back to him.

"Do you remember that day in Okinawa?"  Hitsugi asked the Nameless man.  Nameless's mouth was still bleeding, but he looked down, his face getting darkened.  Nameless thought back, for what was only a few months ago when he learned the secrets of the Naraku and Utsuro.  It wasn't, however, the first time Nameless crossed paths with the likes of this organization.  His memory zoomed even farther back 5 years before the events of Okinawa.

"Prisoner 355-370.  Do you like this old Western type OST?"  Oboro grabbed a boombox and started to play a song,

The Nameless man was shackled at his hands and ankles, sitting against a rock.  Oboro, Poe, and Histugi were the only three Naraku members watching him.  For whatever reason, Oboro was tasked in torturing the prisoners to extract information.  His method was to play songs he thought were annoying.  "This song has absolutely nothing on Rocky Raccoon.  Paul-dono's genius shines on that track.  This however, is garbage.  That perm headed idiot uses it sometimes, so it's tainted."  Oboro beckoned Poe to peck at Nameless and pull on his goatee to torture him more.  Nameless wiggled as his facial hair was getting tugged on.  Hitsugi grabbed Poe and set him on the ground.  Poe looked annoyed and flew up in the sky.

"Listen Joui scum, you've been imprisoned here for 5 years.  Tell us what we want to hear or I'm going to have to get physical."  Hitsugi cracked his knuckles, but the Nameless man just chuckled.

"I've already told you big man, I don't associate myself with those scum suckers anymore.  After what they did to Kurokuno, I can never forgive them."  Nameless smirked as his looked up at the much more threatening man.  Oboro shook his head,

"Hitsugi-dono, I'll leave him to you.  Let's go Poe, I heard Sensei is making fresh cookies in a few hours and I'm not going to miss the first batch."  Poe picked up the boombox and the two walked out of sight.  Hitsugi cocked his first back and slugged the samurai as hard as he could, leaving a very visible mark on his cheek.  The Nameless man still smirked,

"You're rather strong...Hitsugi, was it?  Look man cut me a deal here.  I don't want to bring down your little organization, at all!  I'm more thinking I need to do whatever is necessary to take these samurai schmucks out....who am I kidding,"  the Nameless man looked down at his feet, "Why am I even bothering preaching my story to you...I'm stuck in this place until I die a miserable death, perhaps even by your hands."  Hitsugi stared at him for a couple of moments.  He made mental note of how fragile, how afraid, and how alone this man seemed.  He was a lost soul...much like himself.  Hitsugi unballed his fist and kneeled down.  The Nameless man's eyes grew in shock as the Naraku member pulled out a set of keys and began to unlock his shackles.  The Nameless man stammered,  "W-won't you be killed for this?  Why are you freeing me?"  Hitsugi stood up and offered his hand to the Nameless man.  Nameless was still surprised, but grabbed the large man's hand and was helped to his feet.

"You and I...we are one in the same.  We're lost souls.  No one knows our name, no one knows our family."  Hitsugi stared at Nameless with a serious expression.  Nameless, still holding onto Hitsugi's hand, shook it up and down.

"We aren't the same.  You don't know my story, only bits and pieces.  I don't know your story, I only know your name.  That's enough though isn't it...to have a name people can call you by, people can recognize you by.  I remember that moment we first met, 5 years ago in the prison cell.  I could tell you were hurting, but I don't know what from.  I don't know what, but something between us sparks.  Look at me saying something so weird and we've only had a few conversations...you wouldn't be letting me go if we didn't."

 

Hitsugi was staring back at the man, taking in his words by heart.  It's as if the Nameless man had merged souls with him.  He understood him, and vice versa.  Hitsugi shook his hand back.

"If you ever need someone to get your back...you know I'll be there."  Hitsugi tipped his hat and walked away, letting go of Nameless's hand.  Nameless stood there, registering what to do with his new found freedom.  Hitsugi's mind flashed forward back to the day after receiving the blood of Utsuro.  He was sitting on the bed of Utsuro's hotel room, watching the battles outside raging on.  Utsuro had told him specifically to stay out of the fight.  His body was still getting used to Utsuro's blood flowing through it.  He was groaning with each pain shooting all over his entire body, but he heard his room door begin to creak open.  Hitsugi sat up, even through excruciating pain and drew his sword,

"Who's there...I'm not afraid to fight back..."  Hitsugi lowered his sword as he saw a familiar goatee'd clad man walk into the room.  "You're..."  Hitsugi was at a loss, he hadn't seen this man since he let him go all those years ago.

"I have my ways...had to do a little ass kissing to get your room number.  Listen, I'm just going to cut to the chase here...I need you big man."  Hitsugi looked at him confused,  "You know of Altana, do you not?"  Hitsugi looked at the cut on his forearm and nodded.  "I've been researching this stuff ever since I went on the lamb.  Do you realize how difficult it is to run from two different sets of people?  Well, not so much the Naraku since I've been pretty buddy buddy with them."  Nameless said, sitting down in a chair opposite of Hitsugi.  "I'm also informed that you're the new head of the Naraku.  That old cumstain Oboro could live up to the title huh?  I'm glad to see you're getting recognized for something Hitty."  Nameless said, getting cocky.

"How have you infiltrated our ranks like this?"  Hitsugi said, getting concerned.  Nameless scoffed,

"It was easy really.  Being so secondary that I was able to slip onto a plane to Okinawa and come here was a cake walk.  I've studied these people Hitsugi, my former comrades, those beasts from the other world.  I came here undetected, but of course there was one man who detected me.  Utsuro."  Nameless started to chuckle to himself.  "He knew what I was doing, yet he didn't stop me.  You know what he told me Hitty?  He said, 'Please free Hitsugi of his pain.'"  Hitsugi had a shocked look on his face when he heard what Utsuro said about him.  Why did he care about him?  "It seems you're important to him one way or another Hitty.  He seemed to know you let me go too, like he was a fly on the wall of our conversation back then...hell, he could be listening in right now."  Hitsugi was still thinking about the comment Utsuro made...free his pain.

"How can you free my pain?"  Hitsugi asked the man.  Nameless stood up and began to leave.  Hitsugi looked distraught and reached for him, but the Nameless man turned around,

"It's simple.  We take down those who wrong us.  I hope you'll be ready when the time comes."  The Nameless Man walked out of the room and shut the door.  Hitsugi looked down at the floor of the hotel and pondered,

'Free myself of the pain...'

Hitsugi jumped back to the present,

"Here big man, I poured some scotch...it'll help take the pain away.  Free yourself if you will."  Nameless was downing his shot glass to ease his pain a little.  Hitsugi reached over and grabbed a glass himself.

"Yeah, I gotta free my pain."  Hitsugi took a shot himself.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"AND I RECKON I'LL TAKE YOU OUT WITH THIS ONE!"  Nobu was throwing a barrage of punches that all missed Shige completely.  Nobu looked at his bloody knuckles after punching the hard, metal floor several dozen times.  Shige pushed his cousin off of him and stood up.

"We don't have time to battle like this cousin.  That kid in there is going ballistic."  the small group could hear Kamui tearing the ship apart from the inside.  A Yato rage flowing through him the likes of which only Umibozu have been witness to.

"RAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"  Kamui was yelling, thrashing about the ship.  Umibozu lifted his daughter up from the ground and began to walk towards all the yelling.  Shinpachi turned to Umibouzu, but Gintoki stopped him before he could speak,

"Shinpachi, let him go...we'll get Kagura back when they've finished with their little family reunion."  Sadaharu was whimpering, but Gintoki laid his head on Sadaharu's.  "Shogun-sama, what do you want to do with your cousin here?"  Shinpachi asked.  Shigeshige looked down at his cousin who was looking at his busted up knuckles.

"We have no choice but to bring him back to Edo.  He's a criminal."  Shigeshige said, putting Nobu into an armlock.

"Now come on cousin!  Ain't this a little too much rough hou-" but before he could finish his sentence and explosion happened in the hallway where Umibozu went, and seveal Joui members including Katsura, Tatsuma, Skele, and Pakuyasa arrived to the small group.

"Sadaharu-dono!"  Katsura ran up and hugged the giant dog.  Skele walked up to Shinpachi,

"Skele-san!  You guys are alive, thank goodness."  Shinpachi said.  Skele walked over to Gintoki,

"Gintoki...what happened to you?"  Skele was looking at all the wounds Gintoki suffered,

"It's nothing...Skele, I've been through worse."  Gintoki was fading from his blood loss, so the others hurried up on the large dog to get out of there.  Sakamoto spoke up as they were racing down the halls,

"AHAHAHAHA!  Take me to my ship please!  We have plenty of medical supplies there!  I'm sure Mutsu would love to see a certain someone here too!"  Sakamoto said.  The group finally reached the exit and saw the previous battlefield they were just in overrun by a bunch of Elizabeths

"OIIIIIIIII WHAT HAPPENED WHILE WE WERE GONE?!"  Shinpachi yelled at Shinsuke.  Shinsuke was curled up into a ball, sucking his thumb as all the Renho were taking down the Harusame.

"Th-they're everywhere..."  Shinsuke was shivering but managed to look up and lock eyes with his husband for the first time in months.  Shinsuke's body stopped shaking, and a different emotion began to fill his heart, love.

"K-Kotarou..."

"Shinsuke..."  Katsura jumped off the back of Sadaharu and ran to embrace his love.  Tears began to flood from the both of them as they were finally reunited after all this time.  The two stood their in each other's arms as the Rehno were launching bazookas out of their duck mouths and blowing away Harusame fleets.  Explosions, gunfire, and sword clangs were ringing in their ears as the two shared a passionate kiss.

"I missed you so much Kotarou...never leave my side again..."  Shinsuke tugged on the back of Zura's kimono.  Zura could feel a lump in Shinsuke's kimono, but not from the regular spot.  Shinsuke opened up the breast of his kimono and showed Zura the wedding present from Skele.  Skele could see it from where he was and smiled to himself.

"See Shinsuke...I've been with you this whole time."  Zura said, taking the small figure.  Zura looked back and nodded to Shinpachi.  He motioned for Sadaharu to continue, leaving Zura back with his husband.  Katsura looked around him and saw the smiling faces of his shipmates.  Bansai, Matako, and Takechi all giving him a nod of "welcome home" while they continued to fight.  Still in Shinsuke's arms, Zura looked around for one last member of his family, until he saw the familiar golden locks flowing from one of the back of the duck suits.  Elizabeth turned around after taking out an Amanto and met eyes with Katsura.  Elizabeth looked away with tears in his eyes and threw up a sign,

"Welcome Home"

Sadaharu was running, trying to avoid all the carnage in his way, barking up a storm, throwing some Amanto out of the way.  Nobu was still complaining as his cousin had him by the arms,

"I can't believe yall broke my favorite keys...at least you ain't break ol Ruby's."  Nobu said, smiling to himself.  As they were running, Sadaharu skidded to a halt and stopped in front of a familiar Renho.

"Hey...aren't you Katsura-san's friend?  Yeah, I remember you!"  Shinpachi said.  Eren turned to Shinpachi and waved,

"I wouldn't go too much farther if I were you guys!"  Eren called out.  He pointed up with his flipper as a giant mecha landed on the surface of the planet,

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  THERE'S MY SHIP!"  Sakamoto laughed.  Shinpachi's face darkened as the giant mecha grabbed one of the Harusame ships and flung it out of orbit.

"H-hey!  It's Captain Sakamoto!  What's up man!?"  Lt. Simon was controlling the right arm of the mecha as he called out.  Sakamoto waved at the head of the robot, which was controlled by Mutsu.

"Raj, lower the ramp."  Mutsu called over the intercom.

"YES THIS IS WHAT I AM MADE OF!  FINALLY, SOME USE OF MY GREAT FEATS!"  Raj's crotch part of the robot opened up and a large ramp folded out of it and landed at the feet of Sadaharu.

"OIIIIIIIIIII WHAT KIND OF DESIGN CHOICE IS THIS SAKAMOTO-SAN?!"  Shinpachi yelled.

"AHAHAHA!  What are you waiting for?!  Let's get on!"  Sadaharu barked and went into the giant robot's crotch.  The robot retracted its ramp and rocketed back off into space to fight the Naraku ships.  Sadaharu ran through the ship, being pointed in the direction of the hospital bay.  Sakamoto was directing his men to treat Gintoki as fast as possible.  The gang reached the hospital room, where Gintoki and Pakuyasa were lifted into one of the stretchers.

"Gin-san..."  Shinpachi stood by his side and grabbed Gintoki's hand.  Gintoki smiled at Shinpachi.

"Don't worry Pattsuan.  I've...I've got plenty of plot armor left on me.  Just, take Sadaharu and wait for me...wait for Kagura."  Gintoki let go of Shinpachi's hand and was wheeled away.  Shinpachi sat on the ground, sobbing.  Sadaharu gave him a few licks and laid next to him.  Sakamoto was busy escorting Nobunobu to a prison cell when Mutsu came down from the head of the ship.

"AHAHAHAHA!  DID YA MISS ME MUTSU?!"  Sakamoto put his hand on Mutsu's shoulder and laughed,

Mutsu punched him so hard, it sent him flying through the robot and sent him straight to the pilot's chair.  He was dazed, threw up a little, but managed to start piloting the Mecha.  Skele and Shigeshige stood there with sweat drops coming from their heads.  Mutsu looked over at Skele and began to walk towards him,

"Hey Mutsu!  So glad to see you ag-"  but before he could finish his sentence Mutsu grabbed him by his jaw bone and gave him a big kiss.  She turned around and started to walk away, Skele left blushing.

"Don't ever leave again Bonestein.  That's an order."  Mutsu walked away, blushing herself after she couldn't believe what she did.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"Kamui, please calm down."  Umibozu was holding onto Kagura with one arm, and blocking Kamui's punches with the other.  Kamui was unresponsive, throwing a barrage of punches his father's way.  Umibozu was being pushed back, sent through walls, and eventually out of the ship with the amount of beat down that Kamui was providing.  Umibozu caught an arrayed punch and flung Kamui meters away with the flick of his wrist.  "I seriously don't want to fight you Kamui.  I just want you guys to get home...not here."  Umibozu looked at the barren landscape he once called home himself.  Memories of his wife were flooding back to him, but he had to remain strong for his children.  Umibozu began to walk towards his son, who landed somewhere between where the giant Orochi was being distracted, and the battlefield with the Renho and Harusame.  Near the edge of the battlefield, the 7th division's fleet was parked with Abuto and No Man just receiving the massive Skadoo energy.

"Shit, my phone is fried...yare yare."  Abuto sighed as Monika, Poe, Joe, and Josh all came landing out from his phone.  Monika got up and hugged Abuto while the other three dusted each other off.  Poe flew around the ship pecking at No Man's (sticky) hat.  Josh was gobsmacked to be on a completely different planet than Earth.  He was pretty much speechless.

"Ahh, you'll get used to it cousin."  Joe said slugging his little cousin in the shoulder playfully.  Abuto briefed Joe and Josh about Steve and what had happened.  Mutsu relayed to him information from Shinpachi about the small ship that Nameless used.

"So, we just gotta locate that ship and I get my cousin back?"  Joe said, sternly.  Abuto nodded,

"It would seem so.  We also got information from these two other Amantos."  Abuto pointed to Barkas and Enshou who were giving orders to their own men.

"Ahh, the feeling when we take these dastards down and I, ENSHOU, THE GUN SMOKE PRINCE WILL BE THE BANE OF ALL OF TBC!"  Enshou threw his fist in the air with the locket's chain interlaced in his fingers.  Abuto rolled his eyes and brought his focus back to Joe and Josh.

"Anyway, it seems as if that small ship is somewhere past our line of attack, floating in space.  It'll take a miracle to find them."  Abuto said, shaking his head.  But, as he said this Poe came over and started cawking at him.  "What do you want you mangy bird?"  Abuto asked, he received the hardest peck known imaginable, sending him crashing through the floor.  Abuto stuck his hand out of the hole and gave a thumbs up.  Poe sat down and reached into his feathers to pull out a phone,

"How does a bird...nevermind."  Josh didn't even want to bother asking,

"Poe, are you there?  Good.  Ikari-dono is piloting us towards Koukan."  Oboro said.

"Caw! Caw!"  Poe replied.

"I see, so we should be on the look out for a smaller ship?  Sounds good.  Mukuro please, you're bogarting all the room in this thing."  Oboro could be seen shoving Nobume's feet off of his lap.

"There's plenty of room there, you're missing parts jizz head!"  Nobume said.  "Hey small crippled child, put on some REAL music!"

"Hell YES!  Now this is a real ride."  Nobume could be heard saying.  Oboro sighed and turned his attention back to Poe,

"Alright Poe, we'll be on the look out.  I'll let you know when we find this bastard."  Oboro turned off his Wacetime and Poe his phone back up.  As the bird put his phone away, 4th could be heard yelling from the front of the ship,

"H-hey guys look!  It's Chief!  He's...fighting his dad?"  4th was looking with comically large binoculars at the family fight.  Abuto face palmed,

"After all this time and yet he still has time to fight his dead, good grief."

Kamui twisted his arm back into place after landing from that huge hit from his dad.  Kamui started running towards Umibozu, throwing dozens of punches and connecting, sending his dad flying backwards with Kagura still in his arms.  He tried protecting her the best he could from Kamui's onslaught.

"That's enough Kamui, I won't allow you to hurt your sister."  Umibozu laid her down, but got distracted by a large roar from behind him.  He turned around and saw the large Orochi knocking a small object in the air.  He squinted and saw a can being tossed miles away.  "That's..."  but before he could say anything else, Kamui hit him directly into the Orochi.  The Mother Orochi bent it's neck down and roared at the two, but soon recognized Umibozu after his helmet fell off, revealing a rather convincing toupee of his former hair.  The Orochi looked confused, but soon started roaring as it remember he was the reason Kouka left the planet.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  Umibozu yelled while being picked up by the beast.  "Please!  I know I made Kouka leave, but you've got to help me!  Help those two down there!"  Umibozu pointed at Kamui and Kagura.  The Orochi flung him down to the ground and got close to Kagura's face.  The beast could tell the resemblance and began to purr.  The soft murmurs began to make Kagura stir and awake from her unconscious state.

"Huh..."  Kagura looked up and saw Kamui standing over her ready to punch her down, but the Orochi put it's head against Kamui.  Kamui froze and looked at the beast with a look of murder in his eyes.  But the soft purrs were beginning to calm him also.  Kamui's eyes glazed over as he slumped down in exhaustion, landing next to his sister.  Kagura rolled her head over and smiled as her brother was sleeping like a baby.  Umibozu laid in a large crater staring up at the sky before a man walked up to the edge of the crater and looked down,

"It seems you three were able to tame the beast...I'll be on my way then."  the man, whose face was hidden, walked away towards the battlefield.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Kurokuno walked through the raging battle of the Renho and Harusame, explosions and blood waking in his path.  He eventually made his way to the abandoned Naraku ship that he was once imprisoned in,

"Now if I know him...he'll have another one in here.  Aha!"  Kurokuno came upon the escape pod station of the ship and saw that there was a second one.  He hopped in it and turned on the controls, seeing there was an active GPS with Nameless's coordinates bleeping on the radar.  "Rather foolish of him if he wanted to remain hidden.  I'll be sure to stop you Kaname, or at least toss up an ally-op for one of my comrades to take you down."  Kurokuno started up the escape pod and launched into the planet's atmosphere, following his former comrade as fast as he could.  He set the ship to go into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE (a setting on the ship mind you) and made haste towards Nameless and Hitsugi.  Within several minutes, he was right on their tail.  The ship crashed right into the side of Nameless's, causing him to spill his scotch all over the floor and himself,

"WHO THE HELL?!  HOW COULD THEY FIND ME SO..."  Nameless looked at the GPS and saw the second blimp on the radar,  "Damn it, SHOW YOURSELF!"  the cockpit was crashed inside the ship, making it tight enough to not allow the suction of space to hinder the ship.  The door of the ship flung open and there stood his former comrade,

"Kaname...it's time to end this...you cannot run away anymore."  Kurokuno held up his phone and sent a ping to Pakuyasa's phone.  Nameless couldn't believe what he was seeing.  His dead friend after all these years of disappearing.  He was getting worked up.  Hitsugi stood up, but Nameless sat him back down.

"I killed him Kurokuno... there's no reason to send a prayer to a dead man."  but as he said this, the ping was received.  Nameless looked surprised at this, "But how..."  the ping was picked up by one of the medical staff members, who relayed the info to Mutsu, who relayed it to Abuto,

"You got the location?  Great, alright I'll send them."  Abuto sent the ping to Poe, who ping it to Oboro.  Oboro sent word to Shinji who shifted his mom into MAXIMUM SPEED!   Nameless shook his head.

"Kurokuno...you bastard, what have you done?  I should kill you myself...but for all those years I thought you were dead.  Why now...why all of the sudden you show up after all these years just to stop me..."  Nameless clinched his fist.  Kurokuno lifted his kimono and showed a blade, a blade branded with "Kaname" on the hilt.  Nameless looked down at his old blade with disgust.

"You threw your life away Kaname.  I could not do the same.  I forgave my comrades for their errors...but you could not.  You tarnished yourself by being associated with these...villains.  You aren't a villain Kaname, you're a hero.  You're a friend, and you'll always be that to me.  No matter how many people you cut down on your way here now, you are still my friend."

Kaname looked at Kurokuno with a somber look,  "Hitsugi, take care of that on coming mecha.  Let me deal with Kurokuno."  Kaname pointed at a blimp on the radar that looked like Eva 001.  Hitsugi nodded, grabbed a space suit and exited the space ship.  Hitsugi launched himself at full speed towards Shinji, Oboro, and Nobume.  He landed on the head of the Eva and punched a hole through the top of it.  The three put on spacesuits themselves, as the emptiness of space was beginning to suck all the liquid from Eva 001.  Shinji tried to control the mecha, but it was failing.  But, as soon as the engine was beginning to fail, Sakamoto's mecha came to the rescue,

"AHAHAHAHA!  I GOTCHA KID!"  Sakamoto's mecha held up Eva 001 by the armpits and helped stabilize it.  Shinji coward in the corner as Hitsugi climbed into the small cockpit.

"Hitsugi-dono...I should have expected you here..."  Oboro looked at his former comrade with despair.  Hitsugi grabbed Oboro by the neck of his suit and kicked Nobume to the side,

"You can't defeat me Oboro, you never will live up to the true power Utsuro had.  My blood is richer, newer, and healthier than yours.  You're a hack of your former self.  Hitsugi began wailing on Oboro, punching him into the side of Eva 001 repeatedly.  Nobume drew her sword and slashed into Hitsugi's suit, but he grabbed her sword and broke it in half.

"Mukuro, you're nothing either.  Don't even get yourself involved in this fight.  Oboro is the one I need."  Nobume's face darkened at the mention of her former name.  The three once being apart of the Three Wings of Naraku Crows.

"I may be of no use to you Hitsugi, but I know damn sure I'm not letting you take him away."  Nobume lunged again, but at the same time, Oboro drew his blade and thrusted towards Hitsugi.  The large man stuck both his hands out, catching both blades inside the palm of his hands, and exiting out the backs.  He cocked back his fist and punched Nobume out into space,

"Mukuro!"  Oboro yelled, but she was caught by Eva's left hand.  Shinji got back in the controls and began to move the Eva.  Hitsugi turned his attention to the small child and raised Nobume's blade up to him,

"Time to rid ourselves of this nuisance."  Hitsugi raised his blade, but as he did, Shinji flung Nobume back into the cockpit, she tackled Hitsugi hard and sent him flying to the ground.  Nobume rolled through and kicked Hitsugi in the air,

"OBORO!"  she yelled.  Oboro leapt up from the creases of the dents and kicked Hitsugi out of the EVA and into space,

"Now Ikari-dono!"  Oboro yelled.  Shinji nodded and knew what he needed to do.  Shinji raised Eva's left hand and clinched her fist.  He took a mighty swing and punched Hitsugi into the depths of space.  Hitsugi's body was damaged, and flying at a rate in which he couldn't control.  The large man was thinking to himself as he was defeated, knowing he could not die from this, only left to drift through space until someone finds him.

"Utsuro...what did you mean by those words...why couldn't you have told me them yourself?  Was I...not good enough for you?"  Hitsugi's mind drifted as he himself drifted through space.

"Will I ever feel pain again...or am I destined to live forever free from it?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kaname stared down Kurokuno, as both men drew their blades.  The two stood there in silence as they were locking eyes with one another.  Eventually, Kaname broke his silence,

"Kurokuno...I don't want to kill you..."  Kaname let his guard down and began to tear up,  "You were always...you were always there for me.  But now...now you're here against me."  Kaname faked Kurokuno out and went with an upwards slash, but Kurokuno blocked him.  The two traded slashes, each time the blades hitting each other with perfect harmony.  The music of the blades grinding and clinking against each other as the men were at deadlock.  Kurokuno smirked at his friend,

"Never one to back down from a fight...even if you use nasty tactics."  Kurokuno came back with heavy strikes, but each time Kaname had an answer for them.  Kaname managed to strike Kurokuno once in the shoulder, knocking his friend backwards a bit, but Kurokuno answered back with a slash on Kaname's cheek.  Kaname put his hand on his cheek, and removed it revealing the cut was already healed.  "You're Altana won't work much longer Kaname.  You're on borrowed time."  Kurokuno said.  Kaname smiled and pointed his sword at Steve,

"That's why I have him."  Kaname kicked Kurokuno back and threw his own sword at the glass tube.  It shattered instantly and Steve came washing out of it.  Kurokuno looked concerned,

"What are you going to do to him Kaname..."  Kurokuno started getting closer to Kaname.  Kaname bent down and picked the unconscious man up, reaching into his own pocket.

"You've got to come prepared Kurokuno...you never know what the enemy will have."  Kaname revealed he had Steve's notebook and paper.  Kurokuno rushed towards Kaname,

"KANAME!"  Kurokuno's sword pierced Kaname's chest, but it was already done.  Kaname used Steve's hand to draw a blade from the notebook.  The blade stretched out long enough to stab Kurokuno in the neck.  Kurokuno fell to the floor, a pool of blood forming around him.  Kaname looked at his own blade dug deep into his chest, pulled it out and looked at the hilt.

"To think...you kept this blade all these years.  Why Kurokuno...why me?"  Kaname dropped the sword to the ground and looked down at his comrade on the floor.  Kurokuno was alive still, the blade did not stick deep enough to cut an artery, but he was unable to stand and fight as the blood was flowing.  Kurokuno managed his words,

"You...were my best friend Kaname...you, me, Pakuyasa...we were like our very own trio.  You threw that all away...just to be a slave to your own shortcomings."  Kurokuno coughed up blood.  Kaname's wound was healing a lot slower than usual, the pain becoming overbearing.  Kaname grabbed the sword from the notebook and pointed it to Kurokuno.  Kaname's hands were trembling, looking down at Kurokuno, defenseless.  His throat was getting choked up, but he managed to swallow.

"I'm sorry Kurokuno...you should have stayed dead."  Kaname raised his hand, but before he could, Kurokuno's pocket began to light up.  Kaname looked down, but before he could react, Josh skadoo'd from Poe's phone, to Kurokuno's phone.  Kaname looked at the man confused,

"Who are you?  How did you get here?"  Kaname looked down at Josh's hand and saw the notepad.  He smiled,

"So, you are the rumored 3rd user.  Why come alone?  I would have loved to see Joe again."  Kaname said.  Josh stood his ground and readied his notepad,

"I came here to prove myself...to everyone-"

"That I'm willing to earn my place in this world."  Josh took out his notebook and drew a sword up for himself.  It was glowing, and emanated such a powerful aura.  Kaname stared at it in awe.  He grabbed Steve's hand and quickly drew a shield to block the incoming attack, but Josh's blade was too powerful and Kaname had to step back before the blade cut through the notepad.

"Your technique...there isn't anyone like you is there?  Your sword can't touch me.."  Kaname coughed up blood, but was met with another quick drawing from Josh.  Josh branded a small knife and threw it at Kaname, stabbing him in the arm as he went in to block it,

"LET GO OF STEVE!"  Josh rushed Kaname and shoved Steve out of the way.  Josh lifted Kaname up by the scruff of his shirt.  "I hope you're ready for what I've got planned for you."  Josh flipped open his notebook and revealed a small scenery.  He skadoo'd both of them into it and used his abilities learned from Joe.  He battered Kaname down with his flowing punches, a skill he picked up from the real world as a theater actor.  He was graceful, but his strikes were dealing significant damage in his turf.  The Skadoo'd landscape was completely devoid of any hiding Kaname could do.  He was getting pummeled until Josh skadoo'd them back onto the ship.  Kaname laid in a heap as his body'd regeneration was wearing off.  He reached into his bag next to Steve and searched for more crystals.

"My crystals...where did they go..."  Kaname looked over at Kurokuno who dragged himself into a sitting position, holding all the crystals in his kimono.  Kaname reached out towards Kurokuno, but his hand was cleaved off by Josh.  Kaname's right hand fell to the floor of this ship, blood oozing out of it.  Josh stood over him, about to finish the job, but he was starting to get cocky,

"This is what everyone was worried about?  I mean, I handled you pretty well."  Josh said, tapping his chin, but that small moment of distraction was enough for Kaname to use the last of his regeneration to reattached his hand and hit Josh with a huge low blow.  Josh grabbed his crotch and fell to the floor, dropping his notebook and sword in the process.  Kaname stood up, grabbing Josh's sword.  Kaname kicked the notebook out of the way and threw the sword at Kurokuno, who was just fast enough to dodge it as it lodged into the wall next to him.  Kaname took Steve's hand and began scribbling again.  This time he pulled a gun out of the notebook and pointed it at Steve.  Josh's eyes widened in horror,

"Please...don't hurt him...him and Joe are all I have left..."  Kaname looked back at Kurokuno, and pointed the gun at him.

"Give me the crystals Kurokuno.  Or I'll kill everyone on this ship."  Kurokuno looked at the crystals in his hands.  He shook his head,

"Kaname, you are not going to threaten me with such claims.  I cannot allow you to continue this quest of being immortal and killing the samurais.  If you do succeed in that...then what's left of the samurai's will and the samurai's spirit will continue to haunt you."  Kaname had flashbacks to earlier when he was fighting Pakuyasa, the same sentiments shared by their 3rd man.  "I'm sorry Kaname...I cannot give you my final assist...Josh turned the ball over."  Kurokuno removed the sword from the ship, leaving a hole to the emptiness of space.  He dumped all the crystals in the small hole, shocking Kaname who didn't hesitate to pull the trigger.  The bullet struck Kurokuno in the shoulder, but he managed to throw the sword to Josh in time for him to knock the gun away from Kaname.  Josh turned the blade and drove it into Kaname's stomach.  Kaname slouched over as the blade slid up inside of him.  He was resting on the opposite wall of the ship from Kurokuno.  The two were staring at each other, as if their souls were connected.

"Josh...thank you."  Josh was shocked at Kaname's words.  "Thank you for the best battle...I've ever had.  You made me humble...and to think you are only so novice."  Kaname hacked up blood.  "Steve is...unharmed.  He should be waking up any minute now.  To think, there's now more than just one person in this miserable world...that knows my name."  Kaname looked up at Josh.  He looked back over at Kurokuno.  "Kurokuno...I don't expect-"  but Kurokuno cut him off,

"I forgive you Kaname.  From the bottom...of my heart.  You will always be the most special person to me.  Not just some background character...not just a throw away placement holder...you were real.  And you will forever be real.  Others may look at you as a criminal...a man hell bent on destroying those who...wrong him.  To me...you will always just be...Kaname."  Kurokuno stuck his fist out in the air.  Kaname was weak from the blade, but he struggled to his feet.  Blood was dripping from the wound with each step he took.  Josh got out of the way as Kaname dragged himself to the opposite side of the ship.  A long trail of blood was following him, along with a steady flow of tears falling from his face.  Along the way, he picked up his own sword, his name on the hilt stained in his own blood.  The sword's blade dragging across the metallic floor, making a loud hissing sound as he crept closer to Kurokuno.  Kaname came within inches of his comrade, arm still stretched out.  Kaname fell to his knees, his legs giving out from the pain.  He looked up at Kurokuno, who's head was tilted down.  Kaname looked at his hand, and balled it up in a fist,

"Kurokuno...I'm glad we were able to live together one last time."  Kaname stretched his hand out and connected it with Kurokuno's.  The two's hands stayed like that for a few seconds until Kaname fell flat on his face at the feet of Kurokuno.

TBC

[Cha]

“Huh...?”

Kamui stirred awake on the planet and got up from the ground. He looked up at the bright pink skies and deserts before him. He was completely alone and it confused him even more.

“Koukan. How did I get back here? I haven’t been here since I had to steal Altana for those other goddamn Harusames.” He kept staring at it. “For some reason I don’t remember...”

“Always wanting to go back to Koukan, didn’t you my little Kamui?”

Kamui’s body completely froze up at this recognizable voice. His pupils shrunk, his hands went clamy and he was visibly shaking from nervousness. A reaction he hadn’t felt before in a long, long time.

“Ma...Ma..Mami...?” 

He slowly turned around to face the glowing and familiar warm of a person that he hadn’t seen in a decade.

“You’ve come here a long way, haven’t you my boy?” Kouka asked.

His mouth dropped open, knees following likewise falling to the floor. She walked up to him and put her hands to his face as he was tearing up in his eyes.

“None of this is real, is it?” Kamui laid his head in his mother’s lap. Kamui felt like punching away his fake dream fantasy but for some reason he felt incredibly tired, like his body in the real world was suffering the same fate. Kouka just continued to stroke his hair. 

“I’d say your hair is real. Well, at least for now, if your father is any indication.” She smiled. Kamui was too weak even in his dream state to clench up at his father’s mention.

“All my life I have been striving to forget this place where that old bastard stole you from.. well my real mother. To forget that old bastard. To forget anyone who stood in my way of attaining my goal to be stronger, stronger enough to defeat that balding bastard and stronger to save you. God, why am I talking to a figment of my imagination, I must be hella tired. If No Dick was here I’d punt his green ass to the nearest 7/11 so I can get my energy back on sugar. Ha...” He put his hands down his eyes.

“Forgetting everyone even if that person is Kagura?” She asked. Kamui stopped for a moment and then shook his head.

“My little sister is weak as well.” Kamui’s mind then raced to all the events that had happened in the past three years. He took a breath in. “But then, why do I have this feeling stored way, way back of my gut that right now I’m laying on the laps of her, of both those idiots of my past who I hate with the passion of a million burning suns?”

“Maybe they missed their other little idiot.” She was still petting his head, he bundled his arms up as he laid there, somehow more comfortable than he had been in ages, even if he wasn’t really there with her. 

“Mami..”

“Hmm?”

“How the fuck- I mean, how am I suppose to show them I care? How am I suppose to show any of them either that I care. 

I’ve spent almost my entire life on one goal. How am I suppose to change it?”

“Don’t stop becoming stronger.” Koukan replied seriously. Kamui looked up confused and then with a look of anger.

“I’m actually.. ha.. FUCKING opening up my feelings and mind you, to MYSELF not some stupid fake image of my dead mother and THAT’S all you or I or WHATEVER can come up with?” He looked at the ground. Even for just an image of his mother, he couldn’t dare swear or get hostile while looking at her. Koukan lifted his face up to look at her calm one. 

“Get stronger.. for them.” She replied. “Become the strongest in the universe to protect your friends and family. That’s also how you can still protect me.” Kamui’s mouth opened again and he suddenly latched onto her for comfort.

“Ma.. Mami..” The tears were streaming down his face both in his dream state and in the real world as Umibozu and a sleepy Kagura were holding him.

“THERE HE IS SIR! AND HIS FAMILY TOO!” 

Left over Harusame members rushed onto the battlefield. The force field around the space shuttle had collapse when Kamui had destroyed it so they were able to flood the area around them. Umibozu rapidly stood up to protect his weakened children behind him. He punched down several of them but he was still a bit tired from his fight earlier with his son and didn’t realize that the Harusame leader was behind him and used a powerful stun gun on him. Kagura  snapped open her eyes.

“PAPI!” She shot up and went to fight but was still pretty weakened from the tank and collasped to the floor easily. The Harusame Leader walked up and stomped his boot’s soul on the top her head, causing her pain.

“Pitiful really.” He grinned. “To think the 7th Division was regarded as the finest fleet in the Harusame. And now, look at its captain. Taken down and washed up because of his sudden good conscious. Now he’ll have a lot to think about with that conscious when I send his little sister to Hell.” He dug his soul deeper in her head, crushing it as she agonized in pain. But before anyone knew it, the leader looked down at his stomach to see a bloody fist through it. His eyes were wide and he heard a soft voice behind him.

“Don’t.. touch.. my family..”

Kamui flung his arm up in the air, the leader still alive on the end of his fist. The other Harusame members were shocked and didn’t move.

“Kamui..?” Umibozu and Kagura could only watch the events unfold from the ground.

“How am I suppose to get stronger for Mami...if your dirty boot destroys more of the people to get stronger for? Huh?” Kamui said calmly but then his classic temper popped out again. “I ALWAYS HATED YOU DIRTY UGLY AMANTOS TAKING SHARES OF MY PIRATE BOOTY ANYWAY, ARGGH! AHOY MATEY!” 

He stuck his arm behind his head and then flung it forward so that the nearly dead Harusame Leader flew up into the sky. Kamui then whistled and the Mama Orochi shot up and swallowed the man whole.

“R-RETREAT!” The other members ran as fast as possible to their pirate ships and exited out of the planet.

“Fuckin’ rotten trash.” He spat on the ground. “Always hated that particular leader, even more than that BIMMY, well almost. H-“ Before he could finish that Ha, his father and sister had tackeled him down with happy fists to his face.
—————————-
A Harusame member was fighting against Eren and they hit him in the groin.

“Only my wife is allowed to crush my balls!” Eren yelled and punched the pirate to the ground with his duck foot.

“We just got an order to retreat!” A pirate said from afar from them. The other Harusame and Naraku still fighting fled back into their ships and started to depart from Koukan as well.

“Those scum are all going back! I can’t believe it! We won this war!” Barkas wiped off Amanto blood from his face and put his fist in the air in celebration. The Renho members, terrorists and Kamui’s pirates giving a loud hurrah. 

“One moment, gentlemen. Yello?” Eren took a call.

“Damn this is great news! God I haven’t felt alive like this in ages!” Barkas cheered. He then smiled and turned to his fellow prince. “You know Enshou, I want to apologize for ghosting you this past year. I forgot how well we make an unstoppable fighting team.” Barkas put his hand on his shoulder, Enshou seemingly smiled peacefully.

“Hey Shij, look at this.” Enshou pulled out a phone with a view of Koukan’s orbit and the Renho ships. He then pushed a button and they all blew up. 

“W-WWHAT THE HELL?!!?!!” Barkas screamed and violently shook him.

“Next time you will think before you spite me, Shijaku.” Enshou calmy put the phone back in his breast pocket.

“THERE WERE PEOPLE ON THERE!!!!” Barkas cried. “GENERAL! ENSHOU JUST BLEW UP-“ 

Eren shut his phone and had tears streaming down his face as he turned to them. “I-I..”

“Horrible isn’t it?!!” Barkas dug his hands in his hair. 

“-I’M GONNA BE A FATHER! AND OF THREE DUCKLINGS!! ISN’T THAT WONDERFUL?!” Eren sniffled grinning big all the while. 

“Oh congratulations! But- HE JUST KILLED YOUR MEN!!” Barkas shot back.

“Way to ruin a man’s most happiest time of his life, Shijaku. That’s just like you.” Enshou replied. 

Barkas unhinged, he grabbed a hold of Enshou’s throat and begun choking him. It wasn’t until other Renho saw he was turning the man purple that he dropped him. Enshou hacked on the floor until getting up, Barkas standing there all the while with his arms crossed.

“HHHHH, Give me a moment to catch the breath in my villianous ashy black lungs...Okay. THE DARK OVERLORD OF TO BE CONTINUED spares the life of animals. Unless it’s an animal sacrifice ritual to yours truly. There was no one aboard those destroyed ships. Or the dark overlord thinks so anyway.” Enshou shrugged and walked away to have some private time with his Lady. Barkas started rapidly twitching in both his eyes.

Meanwhile Abuto and the rest of his pirates on the same battlefield were noticing the clear lack of Harusame and Naraku that once surrounded them. Ham-san came running up to them with some news and was breathing loudly from his sprint.

“Commander! I just overheard Naraku and the Harusame had called for a retreat. But that’s not all.” He pointed in the distance to three people supporting each other walking by their arms locked around each other.

“C-CHIEF? CHIIIIEEEEFFFF!” No Man, Monika, 4th, Ham-san and the other lower statues didn’t even wait for their captain to arrive, they sprinted as fast as possible to him and trampeled him and his family with a group hug.

“OH DOGS, NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN!” No Man cried with (sticky) tears.

“Oi, oi, get this (sticky) fool off of me!” Kagura yelled, both her and Kamui slugged him out of the group circle and he slid way out into the desert. He gave a (sticky) thumbs up.

“Welcome back Chief.” 4th and Ham-san smiled together.

“Glad to have you back, Chief!” Monika then glitched and accidentally electrocuted all of them all. “Woops, sorry! Hehe.”

The last one to come up was Abuto he just stood outside the disgusting group circle and crossed his arms. 

“Glad to have ya back, you little cherry bastard.” He smirked.

“HA! You wish old man.” Kamui broke out of the circle and stood in front of his right hand man and best friend for the first time in many months. “I bet you liked tainting my captain’s chair with your musty and wrinkly ossan ass.” Abuto shook his head though.

“Not even once.” He still smiled.

“What about the Tendoshu, dogs?” No Man asked Abuto when he came back. But then Kamui slugged him to the ground for absolutely no reason again other than talking and also that he was glad to see him. “COME ON, DOG.”

“GLAD to see No Dick? HA! You make me laugh, author. Don’t make me hurt you for that and my severe lack of screen time for the last several chapters.” Kamui smiled but I made a big gulp.

“I think those Tendoshu freaks probably left this planet unannounced, would be something they’d do from what I’ve observed of them all these years. Not much they can do when both their army pawns basically crumbled. And since they basically owned your Earthlings Naraku, I wouldn’t expect the remaining troops coming back to Earth unless they wanted to have their bellies slit or whatever those samurai do as capital punishment.” Umibozu crossed his arms.

“Papi, you mean we’re ending this arc with a bunch of stupid vagueness that a three year old could see past?” Kagura picked her nose as she now stood next to him.

“Eeehhh...” He sweatdropped. “A little mystery of what might come is good, my Kagura-chan! Keeps the readers interested and wanting more, this is To Be Continued afterall.”

“To Be what, dogs?” Kamui and Kagura slugged him to the ground again.

“What are we gonna now? We’re not exactly pirates in a traditional plundering and evil sense anymore. We’re not even Harusame ones.” 4th asked holding Ham-san’s hand. Suddenly Kamui karate kicked Ham-san up out of orbit. Before 4th could react in horror, his captain knocked him down to the floor with his big pirate boot. 

“ASS I TELL YA I MISSED YOU THE MOST IN SOME WAYS!” Kamui yelled. He then put Abuto, No Man and Monika between his arms. “BOYS AND THE ONLY GIRL ON MY SHIP, US PIRATES ALWAYS GONNA KEEP PIRATING!” 

“YEAAAAHHH!” His crew cheered. All of them all took out their swords and pointed them at the sky, running into the sunset with their crazy fuck captain. Umibozu and Kagura just stood there and rolled their eyes. 

———-

“The land of the samurai. There was a time, long ago, when our country was called by that name.” A familiar glasses kid narrated the scene.

Edo is seen repairing itself from the dysphoia it had become at the hands of its previous overlords. Citizens were no longer hidden underground or other places, they were free smile, laugh, to rebuild their houses and feel like this city had become their homes again. Oboro was talking his head off in a noodle shop to Ikumatsu about his and Poe’s past experiences in other universes as Isaburo and Nobume sat across him and sunk their heads in their soups in boredom. Gendo, his giant EVA wife and their kids were having a salesman show them an apartment inside the Edo era to live in. Gendo Jr set the man’s face on fire, having Billy and Gedo having to put it out with a HELLFIRE extinguisher moments later. Ozu nodded to Gendo as he was reunited with his own family. Genos shared experiences with Yes Man that he had of helping a former WouTube star pilot a robot’s crotch that saved the universe. And also wondering all the while where his Sensei was as he was just sleeping in the same bed he had been in for months now.

“With the arrival of the Amanto from outer space and the Sword Ban twenty years ago, the samurai class fell into decline.” Shinpachi continued.

Citizens were seen, both human and alien forms celebrating and enjoying amongst themselves together. Tatsuma was seen laughing and very drunk out from a bar, Mutsu and Skele kept him from falling on his stupid face by holding him up. He accidentally knocked over Mutsu but Skele rushed over and caught her before she fell, causing them to both get flustered and turn from each other bashfully. Other aliens were seen too, like Jii who along with Matsudaira were smoking and pointing their guns at Bansai’s head as he was forced to stand there idly as he was hugged by his two greatest little fans. Thankfully Bansai’s mind was on the black haired Shinsengumi member who had a sword at his back about to arrest him for terrorism. Who in turn, wished right now he was near the robot maid across the street at the Snack Bar who was blissfully chatting away on the phone with her best digital friend. Kintoki still felt left out but gave a vender weenie to her, him and their creator. She put her phone down and they chowed down together.

“In such hard times, there was one man left with the spirit of the samurai. His name was Sakata Gintoki. A Reckless Jack of all Trades with a sweet tooth.” 

Gintoki appeared as a shadow walking amongst the crowds of happy people. He walked out of his apartment, down past the bar and everyone else in the city.

“Due to some rather unexpected events, I, Shimura Shinpachi and Kagura-chan ended up working here.” Shinpachi finished.

“Oi, I’m feeling like noodles. What are you two in the mood for? I feel like I haven’t ate in two years.” Gintoki emerged from the darkness.

“W-What..?” Shinpachi stumbled, confused. “Since when were you ever able to afford new clothes, Gin-san?”

“Gin-chan I’m so hungry I could eat a 24 months worth of food!” Kagura also stepped out of the shadows.

“THIS IS JUST A RIP OFF OF SILVER SOUL’S EPILOGUE 2 YEAR JUMP ISN’T IT?!” Shinpachi barked out ruining the author’s late night’s writing.

“No, no. Unlike Silver Soul, we didn’t wait too long to kill off that demon bastard Utsuro. We just did it right off the block.” Gintoki flicked wax out of his ear canal.

“Gin-chan’s right Shinpachi. We would never stoop that low to rip off that Gorilla’s final arc anyway, uh-huh.” Kagura pulled out a newspaper wrapped around an oval shaped item.

“WHAT IS THAT?!” Shinpachi’s eyes widen. “THAT’S UTSURO’S HEART ISN’T IT?!”

“Whomstve’s heart? Utsuro is dead. That’s my lunch Patusan.” Gintoki snatched it from the yato’s paws.

“HEY OLD MAN!” She protested,

He took a bit into it, a bunch of red liquid squirted out everywhere. Much to Shinpachi’s horror.

”Huh, the tomato in my BLT is much juicer today.” Gintoki shrugged it off. It then started to pulse and beat. “Guess this bacon was more underdone than I thought, the pig practically still alive.”

“CHANGE THIS! CHANGE THIS ALL RIGHT NOW AUTHOR, THIS IS A BLANT RIP OFF!” Shinpachi pointed at the camera.

Fine, have it your way Bitchpachi. I heard some loud ois, but continued to write this anyway. I didn’t mean two years later I meant a few weeks later after the events of the Hangover arc. Sure whatever. I’m still getting paid until the Silver Soul movie comes out next year anyway.

Gintoki being piss poor as always decided to just head back to his apartment empty handed and empty stomach. But he saw a man wearing a pirate hat at his front door. 

“Rampaging Rabbits, the 23rd universe’s best pirates out there exploring uncharted space and trading hidden treasures all across the galaxy. For a reasonable price, of course.” Kamui winked and handed them a meal from a fancy Wong John Silver’s all the way from the other side of the galaxy. He then gasped with who he saw. “Samurai Gintoki!!”

“MINE! MINE!” Gintoki and Kagura dove for the fish and chips box, causing it to spill open and splattering tarter sauce everywhere. Shinpachi covered his face and shook his head while Kamui smiled.
———
Nobunobu was sitting in his jail cell staring at the small little window he had to the outside world. He heard the door to his cell block open as a young lady greeted the guards and heard her footsteps in front of his cell now. Nobunobu shook his head.

“Little young Missin’, I ain’t sure why they let you of all people in here. This place is fer criminals, not the likes for little girls.” He kept his sights on the world outside. There wasn’t anything but the faint view of the blue sky, but he didn’t mind, it was something at least. “Sides, we were never that close for you to feel bad about some lousy criminal family member.”

He heard her sniffling which surprised him, but couldn’t face it to turn around to see her face. He heard and felt something slide into the bars of his cell and bump him on the back.

“Huh..?” He picked it up, a CB radio. 

“This is Street Soyo fillin’ in for Big Nobunobu, over. Pure corn starch diesel. That’s Ruby’s favorite kind of fuel right?” Soyo spoke at the other end of hers.

”S-Soyo-chan... You didn’t...”

“I’ve been making sure she’s been taken care of these past few weeks. Especially after all this war. Over.”  Soyo wiped away her tears.

Her cousin sat there in astonishment. Before he could say anything else though, another individual came in the door and stood beside his little sister. 

“Hoggin’ Shige to Street Soyo and Big Nobunobu. I have Ruby all set out for us to take a spin in later, over.” Shigeshige wiped his brow off with a dirty rag, his face was full of oil and grime as if he had been repairing and maintenancing the vehicle all afternoon. Nobu couldn’t believe it.

“Why are you two doin’ this...” Nobu looked on floor and shook his head. “My whole life all I wanted to do is to prove to everyone that despite my limitations and their small expectations for me I could become Shogun. Yet sittin’ all alone in this cell block, all my bitterness towards you Shige and everyone else feels like it’s disappeared. Yet now I feel even more lonesome ‘n outcasted than I did as the Tendoshu’s puppet and lonelier than even back then...” He continued.

“This man then became power crazy and tries to kill ‘vryone and y’all out here taking care of his truck? W-Why..?”

“My little cousin, you were dealt with a horrible hand in life from the start. Even when we were little I noticed how badly you were regarded because you weren’t able to succeed the throne like everyone wanted you to.” Shigeshige spoke out. “Yes you made some pretty poor decisions on the way but what we’re all offering you is a fresh start.”

“I don’t deserve it...” Nobu bit his lip and shook his head. “Not after everything I started, not everything I did to my own two cousins. I don’t deserve your love.”

Soyo and Shige tossed him another item through the door. Nobunobu picked it up and just looked down at his clown frog keys in his hands now, tears uncontrollably streaming from his face. He finally looked them both in the eyes, they were warmly smiling at him with tears themselves.

“Y-you two...” Nobu’s tears dropped on red nose on the green animal.

“If you want to prove your worthiness to all of Edo again, I suggest you parade around your royal cousins for the rest of the afternoon before I give you the royal beat down you deserved back there on Koukan.” Shigeshige joked.

Nobunobu nodded and was let out of his cell temporarily. He got behind the wheel, his family sitting in the seats next to and behind him. They spent the afternoon and evening strolling through the country side, Soyo and Nobu milking some cows, Shige accidentally “milking” a bull, getting a bite to eat at a local diner and all the while having long conversations and laughing. Nobu felt more alive and loved than he had ever felt before.

———————————-

The scene goes to Katsura and Shinsuke as they are now enjoying a sunset slow swaying dance together in a dark room. Shinsuke’s favorite music to play was the big band classics, they brought a sense of wholesome relaxtion and contentment to them both.

“You know,” Katsura started, Shinsuke’s head was resting on his shoulder. “you didn’t have to buy me a bunch of lavish jewelry and kimonos.” Shinsuke just softly kissed his shoulder in reply.

“No.. not after everything you’ve done for me after past few years, Kotarou. You deserve the world. I love you so much.” Shinsuke had his hand inside his husband’s as Katsura had the lead in their dance, their wedding rings entangled. 

“I love you more than anyone too, Shinsuke.” Katsura leaned his head on top of his. Shinsuke suddenly looked up at him as their eyes met and they both smiled. 

“How are you feeling physically?” He asked.

“I feel mostly healed. How are you sweetheart?” Katsura replied.

“Good. Better then I’ve been in a long time.”

Shinsuke then unlashed his arms from him and sat on the floor. He patted the spot next to him. A confused Katsura did just so. The shorter man gently held onto the taller one’s soft hand and kissed it all the way up to his shoulder. 

“I thought you were gonna talk about how beautiful the sunset on this ocean is or recite me one of your lovely poems or serenade me.” Katsura naturally tilted his head as his lover’s warm lips perched on his neck, both smiling all the while. 
 
“Do you want me to?” Shinsuke said as Zura leaned down on his elbows on the floor from the pressure of his lips. 

“I’m kind of tired of talking, you know?” Katsura said and Shinsuke tilted his head down to meet him again and the kisses finally landed his lips. 

He then moved to a spot where he could better give them, he got on his knees right over his husband’s. Zura parted his legs for him to more easily lay on smooches on his face from above.

“Here.” Before Katsura’s head met the floor, Shinsuke had untied his kimono and bundled it up as a cushion. The man now was completely bare, it was pretty dark in the room as it was dusk but Katsura could still clearly make out the distinct new traces of the man’s silhouette now. 

“S-Shinny..” Katsura’s face flustered brightly. 

He tried to put his silky raven hair behind his ear in nervousness, but Shinsuke had beat him to it. Katsura stroked violet colored strands of hair out of Shinsuke’s bad eye. Zura put both his hands on his husband’s face to pull him in and gave him a long and passionate open mouth kiss. This caused Shinsuke to get really flustered as well. 

“K-Kotarou...” He put a hand over his own mouth. 

Before Zura knew it, Shinsuke was stripping off each of his husband’s layers of clothing until they both met each other with the same slimmer silhouettes. Katsura could only briefly look down in the dark as both their clothing were acting as a pillow and blanket for him. Shinsuke then broke off another hot intimate kiss and leaned into his ear.

“Do you wanna go first, Honey? Or do you want me to?” He whispered.

Katsura could feel goosebumps running through his entire skin at that moment. His little heart had been already been racing like crazy, but these man’s words just set it off into turbo speed. Although he had no idea that his lover had the exact same sensations going on with him too. 

“Y-you can..” Katsura stumbled. 

Zura’s finger made circles around his husband’s chest and biceps above him, causing chills up Shinsuke’s spine. But then his attention snapped to his Honey tearing up and crying.

“What’s wrong, Honey?” Shinsuke said with plenty of concern. “Should I stop?”

“No, don’t...it’s just.. Shinny, I-I-It’s been nearly five months since we’ve- I don’t want to mess up...”

Shinsuke just held onto the top his hand, then put it on his husband’s heart and gently pecked it. He used his other hand to wipe away his tears as Katsura was whimpering. Shinsuke formed tears in his own good eye, Katsura lifted his arm above him to wipe them as well.

“Let’s mess up together.” He softly hummed, he lovingly nuzzled Katsura’s ear with his face and then neck. Shinsuke then repositioned his knees on the outside of Zura’s trembling thighs. 

“S-Shin....Shinny....?” Katsura wrapped his arms around his back and finally slowly eased his tense body for the first time in nearly half a year. 

Their shadows on the ship’s wall became completely overlasped on each other and the couple felt inseparable passionate love the likes the neither of them have experienced with any other individual in their entire lifetimes. Memories flooded back in their minds of the first moment they met in military school as small children, Katsura protecting Shinsuke from the beatings and bruisings he’d get from school and mostly his parents. Shinsuke sneaking out food from his folks home so Katsura wouldn’t go hungry for the night in his own empty home. Them making a pact to stay together and escape the lives society chose for them, meeting Sensei and the other students, their first crush on each other, becoming teenagers enlisted in brutal war, drifting apart afterwards for years, Shinsuke wanting him dead in Benizakura just in exchange for Harusame backing, their shaky reunion in Popularity Poll, them finally falling madly in love, getting married and once again being split apart several times. Kotarou could only softly moaned as his eyes were closed and his open mouth overlasped on Shinsuke’s.

“...nny.. when my parents and grandmother died.. you were the first best friend I ever made.. I feel like my family sent you to watch over me all these years like a guardian angel.”

Shinsuke stopped panting for a second and looked at his husband laying there. Shinsuke started to bawl again.

“Noo.. you’re my angel, Kotarou. Only someone as flawlessly perfect as you are could ever care for an absolute disgusting monster that I was, even to his own husband.” He shook his head and bit his lip, tears still flowing.

“For an ‘absolute disgusting monster’...you sure are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen..” Katsura soothed him with that soft tone and loving hands on his face that Shinsuke grown to love.

Suddenly the lights switched on, blinding them for a moment so they screamed.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING BEHIND THE LIVING ROOM COUCH?!” Bansai yelled as the others turned around all with their hands over their eyes.

-There goes movie night.- Elizabeth signed.

“Having a serious sex scene for the first time, thank you very much you fucking doofus.” Shinsuke said, still conjoined. 

“You two will NEVER EVER get a serious sex scene!!” Bansai said with very visible anger in his voice.

-They kind of just fucking did, Bansai..- You could tell he signed that with a tone of regret. 

“Isn’t this suppose to be a children’s forum?!” Matako shook her head, her eyes still covered. “Ooh this chapter is gonna get removed for sure.”

“Sorry to interrupt your yaoi fan service scene-“ Takechi started, unphased by the events happening around him as always. 

“YAOI FAN SERVICE?!” Shinsuke snapped at him.

“-but Katsura-dono, I recently forwarded you an important RSVP to your email.” Takechi finished.

Katsura pulled Shinsuke out of him causing the midget to whimper and then pulled his phone out of his own dojo.

“Huh, surprised I didn’t feel that in there.” Shinsuke replied.

“MONDAY ELIZABETH IS HAVING A BABY SHOWER, FAMILY SHIP TRIP LET’S GO!!!” Katsura grabbed all their hands in a form of a chain and sped off, both of them still naked.

“Who’s Monday Elizabeth?!” The Kiheitai members all asked.
——
Pakuyasa was living among other Edo citizens these days. He wasn’t as savvy as he used to be, didn’t have the funds to try out random professions here and there. He had finally after the last couple of weeks decided to rent out some space in an old building in town and open up a sandwich and snack shop. He knew it wasn’t much, but it was a living for him. Although everyone else seemed to slowly returning back to normal, he still felt quite empty inside of him. His comrades he fought against the Orochi kind of forgot about him again, he hadn’t seen any of them since Koukan. And almost every moment of the day his mind was occupied with Kurkono and Nameless. Once again he was the third wheel in their friendship, this time not even able to say his last words to his long lost best friends. Only hearing from the words of others of their demises, much like Kurokono’s first supposed explosion death. He would remind himself all the time that his goatee friend in particular was in a happier place than when he was alive. 

“I would give my life up for my friends.” 

Those words of Kurokono often echoed and haunted the back of Pakuyasa’s mind now.

It was one day in particular of Snackyasa’s grand opening. Not many people arrived, maybe some curious strays who didn’t order much and left. He was dusting off unused bread loafs when the little bell over his front door chimed and in came some familiar faces.

“Table for 5?” Gintoki smiled, the other four behind him waved.

“Y-you guys...” Pakuyasa nodded and quickly walked over to pull out their chairs for them. 

“Eh, so this is where my favorite sandwiches of the war ended up to. Some hip unknown urban restaurant you have to be in the know to find out about.” Gintoki looked at the menu as Pakuyasa smiled.

“Do you have anything gluten free.” Shinsuke asked the waitor.

“Shut up butt munch, you don’t get anything fancy. It was bad enough your disgusting sex subplot took most of the space up in this epilogue for no damn reason.” Gintoki said and Shinsuke and Zura fumed.

“HOW DARE YOU GINTOKI, THAT IS MY HUSBAND!” Katsura slammed down his hands on the table, causinf Skele to sigh and Tatsuma to roar with laughter. “Shinny, do you think I should get breadcrumbs for a duck’s party.”

“AHAHAHAHA! Just give me the soup of the day! I can barely eat with all that drinking earlie- BLLLEEEEUUUUGH.” Tatsuma threw up all over the table, much to the disgust of the others.

“Coming right up! How about you, Skele?” Pakuyasa asked.

“Give me your best dish!” He smiled and handed him his menu.

As Pakuyasa was layering the sandwiches and preparing the plates, something had crossed his mind, an empty space on the wall where he forget to hang up a picture he recently got framed. He briefly stopped what he was doing and hung it up in a place where everyone at the shop could see it.

“Kaname.. How did I forget that wonderful name..” He stood back and marveled at it for a second before resuming his work finishing his meals.

——-

Josh, Joe and Steve skadoo’ed out of the comic book one last time for now. They spent the past few weeks between their real life house and the book, making sure Edo was safe enough so they could return back to their lives in the real world for a while. All their stuff in Steve’s house was packed away as they were ready to head back to their apartments.

“Steve! Joe! Josh!” Mr. Salt exclaimed. The trio looked down to him and smiled. “My boys, only two weeks back in ze house and zey’re ready to leave it again, sacre bleu.” 

“Sorry Uncle Salt, but I really have to head out. My semester is about to start in a few days!” Josh exclaimed. He put some of his school books from the shelf into his bag. 

“Can’t you three just stay for one more dish?” Mrs. Pepper begged. “Peprika, Cinnamon and I could make your favorite carrot soup, Steve mon garçon.” 

“Or just one more game of catch?” Shovel and Pail walked up with a glove and mit. 

“One one more game of slip and slide? Wooooah!” Slippery added.

“Really wish I could Mrs. Pepper, everyone else. But Joe and I are absolutely swamped in work we’ve missed the past few months.” Steve adjusted his detective trenchcoat and hat. He wiped off his glasses with a cloth and put it back in his breast pocket.

“Hey, if it wasn’t for ol’ Joshy here paying for our rent, we would have sure been out of business.” Joe nudged Josh with his freshly oiled cyborg arm.

“My life’s inheritance from my parents, down the drain.” Josh shook his head. “But I guess it was worth it to save the universe.” Steve smiled and put his hand on his little cousin’s shoulder. 

“You really are one of us aren’t you?” He smiled.

“Just one thing.” Josh looked at his cousins. 

“Sure, lay it on us Joshy.” Joe put his arm on his shoulder.

“Who exactly is Utsuro?” Josh asked. Steve and Joe just blinked at each other.

“Well, we definitely have a lot to talk about the next few months.” Steve replied.

Josh, Steve and the furniture household members begun to help Josh load up his things in the car. The three of them got in the car and started to head out. 

“Byeee you guys!” The rest of them waved the clue finders off. 

“So are you heading off to Nebraska again, Josh?” Steve said while he drove the car and Joe was jamming out in the shotgun seat. Josh was in the back with all the luggage. 

“Nah- ow!” Josh got hit in the head with Joe’s arm buffer. “I was going to but the author thought it was funnier to if I’d head to Vegas for my classes. Wait, what’s an author? And why did I know that?!”

Steve and Joe smiled at each other.

“Awww, his first 4th wall break.” They both said.

They arrived at the airport and watched Josh off as he went past the bag check in area and waved them off. Joe and Steve went back to their car.

“You know, I might go back to the house one last time. Forgot to tell Toshi my new number in case he needs anything.” Steve started driving back to the house.

“Aight, that’s fine, bro.” Joe replied, still jammin’. 

The two arrived back at the home, the crowd of furniture welcoming them back with a big group hug they barely escaped alive. Steve then walked over to his library. 

“H-huh..?” Steve looked at the usual spot on the lshelf where he kept the Gintama comic book. It was empty. He started frantically searching all the shelves for it.

“What’s up dude?” Joe walked up to him. 

“Joe. W-Where’s the comic book?” Steve was turning books upside down and tossing them on the floor. “Where is it?”

“Hey big bro, don’t panic. Maybe the little tykes took it again to read from it.” Joe shrugged and called out Paprika and Cinnamon. They walked over to him. “Do you guys know what happened to the comic book?”

“We haven’t touched it since you and Steve left, Joe!” Paprika said. Suddenly it hit Joe like a load of bricks.

“Steve...” 

“Yeah Joe?” 

“Remember when we saw Josh packing up some school books earlier?”

“Oh..Y-Yeah..” Steve felt a lump at the bottom of his stomach.

“You don’t think he accidentally..?” Joe looked at him with wide eyes. They sprinted out of the house, jumped into the car and sped off without another goodbye.

“JOSH!”

“JOSH!

“JOOOOSHHH!”

TBC

“This is called the Hangover arc is it not? I get everything was wrapped up rather nicely with most of the characters. But where the hell is the explanation on how we got drunk, ended up naked on some distant planet, huh author?! Where is it?! You’re not gonna seriously end it on a note like this!” Gintoki asked.

“That’s where we come in.”

“Y-you two...” Gintoki’s jaw dropped. “Don’t tell me you know?”

”You see Sakata, when our subplot was cancelled and fired from our job for Whomstveyasha, we wondered the streets for days looking for our big break. But then we found it. The biggest mystery of this entire arc since the beginning.” Heiji took a big puff from his cigarette.

”Yeah, boss was working on this for weeks! It was so top secretive and important that he wouldn’t even show me the papers he was working on!” Haji exclaimed.

“That’s great!” Gintoki said in disbelief. He rubbed the back of his head and smiled a little. “So what was it?”

”Uh.. come again?” Heiji was then slapped by his assistant. “O-oh.. the information about the hangover, right. You see uh, last night I was in the middle of a big steamy shit when I looked over and there was no toilet paper in sight, so I uh.. you know.” Gintoki then grabbed him by the scruff of his coat.

“But you remember what was on it right? You have to know! RIGHT? I DIDN’T WOUND UP NAKED WITH A BUNCH OF IDIOTS FOR NO REASON, RIGHT?!” Gintoki yelled.

Heiji calmly looked at the camera and replied.

”TBC”

”What?! You’re SERIOUSLY not gonna end it on a note like this are you hard boiled egg for brains?!”

TBC

”NOW YOU TOO AUTHOR?!”

Let me TBC, Gintoki.

“DON’T YOU DARE!”

T-

“I’M WARNING YOU!”

T-

“I’LL DELETE THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER, THE SMUT SUBPLOT ESPECIALLY!” 

TB-

“PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU!”

God fucking dammit TBC
 

[Aya♥]

"A peaceful time in Edo...what simple fools.  Why sit back and relax when the greatest evil is just around the corner.  Me, the Gun Smoke Prince of Burei opening up the brand new arc.  It's poetic really, the one to bring down everyone's To Be Continued heroes in the blink of an eye begins the new arc.  Sakata Gintoki will grovel at my feet, the outside universe will all bow down to me as I hold up their precious Joe, Steve, and Josh in my hands like puppets."  Enshou was talking to himself in the public bathroom mirror inside of a Wenny's restaurant.  One of his subordinates came out of the bathroom stall and began washing his hands.  Enshou turned his gaze to his underling.  He raised an eyebrow,  "Good thing you're washing your hands Captain, I hear here on Edo there is a large outbreak of Ligma."  Enshou's gaze darkened.  His Captain looked up at him puzzled,

"What's Ligma?  Should I wear a face mask while we're down here sir?"  Enshou smirked and began to walk out of the bathroom.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out an invitation to a baby shower.  "To think Lady TBC would gift me with the easiest opportunity to strike down the heroes..."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Gintoki was sitting at his desk, reading the latest Shounen Jump issue while his two loyal employees lounged around on the couch.

"Oiii Gin-chan, can't we buy a huge TV and the new Wintendo Witch.  You're so old school and uncool.  Plus, I'm still not at full recovery, please give me a mannie peddie, buy me the biggest sandwich you can find and groom Sadaharu for me."  Kagura was whining as she kicked her feet against Shinpachi, nearly knocking him out.

"Kagura, it's been two weeks, you're just fine.  We won't have to get into serious action anytime soon, so don't worry."  Gintoki flung a booger and it landed on Shinpachi's glass.

"Oi!  I just got these cleaned!"  Shinpachi was furiously scrubbing his glasses when a knock came from the door.  Gintoki sighed and removed himself from his chair and slid open his door,

 

"Gintoki, I know it's hard to believe but it's really me, Katsura.  My disguise is of the highest quality, so I wouldn't blame you if you tried to pull your sword to me."  Zura said, removing his mask and giving Gintoki a wink.  Gintoki ripped his mask off and crumpled it in his hand,  "NOOOOOOOOOO MY BEST MASK!  NOW HOW ARE ME AND SHINNY GOING TO ROLEP-"  Gintoki shut the door in Zura's face and began to walk back to his desk.  Katsura slid the door back open,

"Zura, what could you possibly want?  If you want me to clean your ship or something, we can do that but I'll charge you extra."  Gintoki said.  Zura shook his head and handed Gintoki a card from his pocket.

"Oi Zura, is this inviting me to a chicken farm?  I didn't know you were a farmer."  Gintoki took the invitation and crumpled it up,

"NOOOOOOOOOOO IT'S MONDAY ELIZABETH'S AND FUMIKO-CHAN'S BABY SHOWER!"  Zura yelled, uncrumpling the paper.  Gintoki shrugged and sat down, but Zura knew how to snag his friend into this.  "They're very rich Gintoki...and need help setting up the baby shower."  Gintoki, Shinpachi, and Kagura's eyes lit up,

"Finally!  That's what I'm talking about Zura!  Alright guys, let's get our baby shower game faces on."  Gintoki threw on some shades, as did Kagura.  Shinpachi pressed a button on his glasses that lowered shades down from the frame.

--------------------------------------------------------

"So, we have to attend a baby shower because the Princess is going?"  Kondou was talking on the phone from the newly rebuilt Shinsengumi headquarters.

"Yes, you'll accompany her and that bubblegum looking prince around the entire time."  Matsudaria said back.  Kondou scratched his chin to think about it.  "I'll give you til the count of three to respond, 1-"  a bullet shot out of the phone past Kondou's head,

"OK, OK, WE'LL DO IT!"  Kondou hung up the phone and huffed.  Kondou got up and walked out of his room.  Across the hall was Gonard and Yamazaki's room.  "Oi, Zaki, Big Blue open up."  Kondou waited, but eventually opened the door himself to see,

"Alright Jimmy, 5th time's a charm!"  Gonard exclaimed.  Yamazaki shook his head, and eventually noticed Kondou standing in his doorway, his face darkened.

"Oh, Chief, what's up?  Gonard and I were uhh...it's a really long story."  Yamazaki rubbed his neck.  Kondou shook his head,

"Never mind that Zaki, I'm assigning you two and Sougo on a mission.  You three are going to accompany Princess Soyo and her friend to a royal baby shower."  Yamazaki's face went pale.

"Oh...oh no..."  Yamazaki reached for the nearest Anpan and started nibbling on it frantically.  Gonard ate the burger in one bite and gave Kondou a thumbs up.  Sougo came sulking from down the hall,

"Well, at least I'll get some screentime...although it might be a bit awkward.  Why can't you just make Hijikata do it, he's not doing anything."  Sougo said.  Kondou objected,

"Hijikata said he's busy, so I'll believe him honestly.  He told me he hasn't heard from Steve or Joe these past weeks, so I let him off."  Kondou said.  Sougo, Yamazaki, and Gonard put on their nicest suits and began to head for the entrance where a huge limousine awaited them.

"Get in losers."  Soyo said gruffly.

---------------------------------------------------------------

"YAAAAAARRRRRRRRR YEE SCALLYWAGS THINK YE CAN HAVE ME DOUBLOONS!"  Kamui threw chocolate gold coins at Ham-san's head, the coins scattering all over the metal floor.  Ham-san stared blankly at his captain.

"Chief, what's this written on the cafeteria bulletin board."  Ham-san had ripped the board off the wall and showed it to Kamui,

 Kamui laughed and slapped his knee,

"I really got that half dick good!  Ha!"  Kamui smiled, but Ham-san shook his head.

"I thought we were going to the Renho's Baby Shower.  We were invited by Katsura and Shinsuke to go."  Kamui took the board and snapped it in half over his subordinate's head.

"Wix Flags is having a GRAND RE-OPENING AND WE ARE GOING."  Kamui said, showing Ham-san the flyer for Wix Flags.   Ham-san took the flyer and crumpled it up.  He tossed it in the wastebin in front of Kamui's desk.  Kamui's smile fell from his face and looked at the crumpled up flyer in the bin.  His smile came back quicker than Ham could...uh blink?

"Ham-san!  HA!  You think you can barge into MY quarters after I just had the most traumatic 2 months of my life and you have the AUDACITY TO CRUMPLE UP MY WIX FLAGS FLYER THAT I WAS GOING TO FRAME IN MY ROOM!"  Kamui blew Ham-san out through his door, leaving the 5th in command in a heap.  He gave a big thumbs up letting the audience know he was ok.  4th came up and helped his partner up out of the hole he was resting in.  Monika was called to come and help Ham-san to his feet.  She was looking stunning as always, he locks flowing with such beauty and a smile that would melt anyone's heart.  Especially mine, but suddenly I felt a glaring presence from the 2nd in command.  I refrained from saying anything more about the lovely Monika.

"So, Wix Flags huh?  I gotta say that's a little more exciting than a Baby Shower, plus we get a good side-plot out of this."  Abuto said to Kamui.  Kamui laughed,

"I KNEW ME FIRST MATE WOULD BE ON ME SIDE! HA!"  Kamui placed an eyepatch over Abuto's eye.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"Josh, did you wake up like that? That's like totally rad."  a college girl was sitting at a table with Josh as he was drinking his coffee.

"Oh yeah, big Bulls fan."  Josh said taking a sip.  He was just getting used to settling in.  He's got a dope ass apartment, and some pretty easy classes to start the semester.  Josh pulled out his schedule on his notepad and flipped through it.  "Yep, I've got English class in about 15 minutes.  My first day of the semester so it really shouldn't be much."  Josh sat his drink down and let out a refreshing "Ahh".  The girl smiled and asked,

"So what'd you get?  You seemed to enjoy it like a whole lot."  Josh smirked,

"My go-to, but I put a small twist on it.  Needed a bigger fill up this morning, so I got myself a Venti iced caramel frap, blended with coffee.  Of course, I needed to lay on the whip cream."  Josh chuckled.  As Josh set his drink down, his phone went off.  He checked it, and he received a text from his roommate,

"Uh dude, the whole apartment like lit up.  I don't know what happened but I'm busy to check it out."  Josh ignored the text and said his goodbyes to the lady at his table.  He grabbed his bag and headed off for class.  He reached his classroom after a 5 minute jog and opened up the door,

"Well look who's joining us class, if it isn't the dickbag that sucked me out of the FUCKING COMIC BOOK."  Billy slammed the book he was holding and power-walked to Josh.  Josh stammered and looked around before he got pressed against the door he just came in through.  Billy lifted him up by his jersey with one hand,

"How did you know that fucking phrase...do you know what I was doing?  I was treating my brothers to a nice steak lunch against their will and you have the audacity to put me back into my field of employment.  It's bad enough I have to deal with snot-nosed brats, now I have to deal with snot nosed college kids.  Listen, if I'm summoned against my will, I just can't hop back into the comic book.  I'M FUCKING STUCK HERE."  Billy pushed Josh out the door and closed it behind him.  Billy made sure the hallway was empty after checking both directions,  "Wanna go waste your college savings on some slots dude?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hata, are you ready to head down to Edo?  I've got everything packed, including Jii."  Barkas showed a suitcase holding an object shaped like an angry old ossan.  Hata shook his head yes, and jumped up in excitement,

"I get to hang out with Soyo again!  And maybe even see...Bansai!!"  Hata squeed and Barkas patted him on the head.  Barkas loaded up his suitcase and Jii into his luggage compartment on their sweet space SUV.  Barkas felt his phone vibrate and picked it up.  He saw it was Enshou Wacetiming him.  Barkas sighed and answered it,

"Shijaku, you are not prepared for what I have in store for Edo...this will be their reckoning.  They think they're safe rebuilding and going into a state of peace...fools.  Come to my lair when you arrive to edo...THE MOTEL 8 ON MAIN STREET.  I am staying in ROOM 41...when you knock I will ask for a password.  I will not tell it to you for privacy reasons.  You do not know who could be listening into these calls."  Barkas facepalmed,

"You pretty much gave away everything in just 1 minute."  Barkas said.  Enshou smirked.

"Sometimes being reckless causes the most chaos Shijaku.  You'll see at the baby shower when PHASE 1 BEGINS.  Oh by the way Shijaku, open your email I sent you."  Enshou logged off the Wacetime call.  Barkas sighed even heavier, opening his email.  He saw one from Enshou entitled "FUNNY CAT VIDEO"  he clicked on the Woutube link provided and his face got dark,

TBC

[Old Man Jenkins]

Time to dust off the Ayaverse chops for this one; how would you draft the new Raw and Smackdown rosters (or at least the wrestlers you consider the major players) in a way that makes both FOX and USA happy?

[Cha]

“Well now that I got your attention, author.” 

He clicked on another song on his shuffle list.

“Song from a controversial artist to stir up trouble in the TBCerian community, check.”

“Your Majesty, which one or us are you talking to?” His captain asked. 

All several of Enshou’s men were all in a crowded booth in Wenny’s, folded in different directions to fit. Enshou had the booth seat across from theirs all to himself.

Enshou just turned and pointed to the camera. “I’ll be back for you later.” He then turned his attention back to his men.

“Your majesty.. we have news from Witter of Prince Barkas. He changed locations of the baby shower.” The captain told him carefully as he was trying to avoid another member’s ass in his face. Enshou’s villianous smirk faded.

“We’re not sure where he’s going yet but from outside sources and social media rumors we think somewhere in the Bungan galaxy.. which is also coincidentally where the ruins of our planet are.” A lower rank commented, Enshou looked shocked.

“But that’s not all, according to the comments on his status he is uh.. is hanging out with another prince.” Another said. Enshou took out his phone and went online to see for himself.

He then suddenly whipped out his earphones and a new playlist.

“Hello Sir?! Yes or no, did you want your flapjacks with a side of eggs and meat for another 2 dollars?” The irritated waitress had been waiting for him to finish his order this entire subplot.

“I’m not hungry anymore.” Enshou got up from the crowded booth, several of his men falling out in the process from the vibration.

“I’ll have his breakfast..” One of the lower ranks whispered to her.

“Is he gonna be okay?” The officer at the very bottom of the pile asked.

“Wow, I’ve never seen the prince that upset.” The lower rank who ordered Enshou’s breakfast had it brought to him. He mangled his way up to the top of the pile and took a bite of a sausage.

“Our ruler is probably making it up so we dont realize he’s gonna booby trap the bathroom.. again.” The Captain took a sip of his orange juice and set the cup down on one of their heads. “I’ll go check up on him in a moment just in case though.” 

“Damn Shijaku. Damn his new royal boyfriend.” Enshou kicked the door open to the men’s restroom in frustration.

Enshou then cautiously looked around the room several times, made sure all the stalls and urinals were empty and then held up his locket. He opened it up to the same fake photo but then he opened the glass screen. He pulled out a hidden photo behind it, and unfolded it, a bit torn and worn down by time. 

“Greatest mistake for a villian is to show he has weakneses, even if that weakness is his very own wife.” He put his hand on the little torn holes and dirt marks on it. “I’ve been lying about your existence but I guess even back then I was a big manipulative liar too.”

Enshou’s mind started to race with memories of his past, him trapping his older brother into death just so he could marry his sibling’s girlfriend who he was madly in love with. He clenched hands on the sink for support. The last moment he saw his wife would be their final time together as the Altana of Burei exploded their entire world, caused from the Tendoshu’s greed. This would be the last time also that Enshou ever felt even remotely sincere with someone. 

“Next time we meet, you’re staying for good Enshou.” She would tell him each time, adjust his cape and braids and smile. “We can’t have you running around. I’ll have to tell our son that Mommy clobbered Daddy before he ever got to know him.” She would joke.

“Have you thought of a name for him yet?” Enshou warmly smiled and put his hand on her belly.

“I’m thinking of Ebizou after your older brother.” She smiled, Enshou looked a little surprised but somberly nodded.

Enshou of the present watched the slow dripping dropplets of the sink, his hands still clenched on edges of it. His head was down and he took a more depressed and guilt look.

“I never told you the truth about what I did... But despite all the irreversible damage I’ve done to you and even my brother.. Why now do we have to return near the place of your demises? Why do those white devils get a content life on a new planet? Why do they... get a happy ending after the war and get to have a baby shower... and not us? Is this the way of fate in this universe...Aimi.”

He picked up his photo of Aimi again and put his fingers on top of her soft face and then her pregnant belly, his expression darkened. Suddenly a tear fell on that hand and he examined it. He was surprised as he couldn’t remember of a time before when he done that.

“Your majesty?” The Captain opened the bathroom door and walked up behind him.

“U-Uhh. KNOCK FIRST CAPTAIN!” Enshou hastily folded the photo back behind the other photo in his locket again, wiped away his tears and plastered on his regular evil smirk.

“Oh sorry sir, I didn’t realize but this is a multi-stall bathroom so.” He replied.

“Oh uhh. Updog.” The prince said.

“What’s updo- Oh no not again.” He said and Enshou just smirked again and closed his locket.

“Let’s go Captain. We have a ship to catch in order to make it in time for the shower.. and Shijaku.” Enshou started walking outside the Wenny’s with his men.
—————————-

“What in the name of a pre-teen paradise?...” Yamazaki said as him and the other two Shinsen stepped on board the limo.

“Well I’m out of here.” Sougo tried exiting the car but a TBC subplot force field stopped him. “Ow, damn writers.”

“Hey Hata, isn’t that the guy from Okiwana you were forced to hang out with? Well I guess you couldn’t choose what that flower did to you.” Soyo whispered to her best friend and they started quietly gossiping. 

Sougo depressingly slumped to the corner for reasons he wasn’t even sure about himself. The limo started up and headed out to the road.

“So who’s driving this thing?” Yamazaki wondered, suddenly the barrier screen seperating the backseat from the front scrolled down and they saw a familiar face.

“POPS!” Yamazaki exclaimed. 

“Oi..These losers are only ones who Kondo-san sent me to watch over royalty?” Pops scratched his head with his gun. 

“Say Jimmy, I think we were just insulted!” Gonard smiled and Yamazaki facepalmed.

“You two smucks specifically definitely aren’t qualified to watch over him after the last time you did.” Pops pointed to some wicked cool gangstas enjoying a hot tub.

“IT’S THE SHOGUN!” Yamazaki and Big Blue exclaimed.

“I’m telling you Shige. You don’t know how long I had to deal with him. TEN YEARS!” Barky angrily exclaimed, Shigeshige nodded his head as he let his bff vent. “Ten years had to deal with that man and his psychotic manipulative personality every single day. He likes to make up these stupid stories most of the time so you never know when he’s lying. If you even slightly cross him he never forgets it. Like for example at the space station we use to work at, one day I ate a donut from the mini fridge that supposedly Enshou had left a note on not to touch but I never saw said note. He doesn’t let it go for seven YEARS. Every time I would open the fridge it would be full of rotten garage, his way of ‘reminding you of the sin you committed, Shijaku’. I had to bring my own sack lunch every day from that point on and if I didn’t even watch it for a second, he would toss it in the trash and pour more garbage on top of it. And don’t get me started on his lame ass pranks.” Barkas finally exhaled, Shige kept nodding.

“It seems like you have dealt with a lot of rather unpleasant things, Barky. I understand and I’m here for you.” Shige put a prune from the water hand on his shoulder. 

“You don’t know how much I appreciate someone like you after someone like that.” Barkas shook his head and then they both smiled at each other. “Well at least we can relax for now in here before anything else gets chaotic.”

“POOL PARTY!” Gonard jumped in the hot tub fully clothed causing Barkas to fling out and water splashed out all over the limo.

“Alright Pops, me, Captain Sougo and Big Blue got it taken care of. We can watch Shogun-sama, the Princess and the others.” Yamazaki nodded and put his hands on his hips with confidence. Matsudaira made a big laugh.

“You think I’d just leave you three lower ranks to watch a dozen royals AND for a big royal event?” Pops asked them and then pointed to the back of the limo with his gun.

“Ninjas are midwest rap.” Sonic said.

“Hey can you keep that nasty sticky stuff away from me, Sarutobi? I’m trying to finish this TBC 3-Z comic before we’re forced to attend to this stupid shower thing.” Zenzou turned the page. “Ginpachi headed to the classroom to greet his students, only saying something unteacher like as always. Heh.”

“And I’m just here because I heard that Saitama is gonna be at the event and maybe I’ll finally fill this new arc’s role of the main villian and destroy him.” Sonic commented.

“WHAT? GINPACHI DIES?” Zenzou said shocked.

Sacchan then threw ninja stars into Zenzou’s hemorrhoids and into Sonic’s thicc thighs. Only Zenzou fell to the floor with his book.

“Huh, didn’t feel a thing. “ Sonic pulled them out, his monsterous upper legs and ass had absorbed them.

“You two dumbasses better not ruin my final chance to get with Gin-san. I’m sure him surrounded by a bunch of cute baby stuff will TOTALLY get him in the mood to make babies with me on the spot! Or marry me! Or whichever one he wants to do first.” She spoke with her hands, causing the natto to spill everywhere.

“Say Jimmy, we haven’t seen those guys around since uhh, I fell in love with that tree! Man I miss her. She hasn’t written to me like she promised she would..” Gonard sobbed, Shige put a supportive hand on his shoulder. Jimmy just walked away and slouched down on one of the pink sofas. 

“Ooh that was fun. I got to meet Soyo and Bansai and even my big brother as a duck for the first time!” Hata recalled joyfully. “Well except for that love flower mathingy abob.” Sougo then turned from his little corner to face the two.

“That crazy flower there huh, turning everyone gay and bat shit crazy for each other like animals in heat. What a nightmare.” He added.

“Huh? I’m gay, well pan technically. Details schmetails!” Hata happily clasped his hands on his own face and tilted his head.

“Yeah, why would you say something like that? He’s literally gay himself! How unthoughtful!” Soyo exclaimed to the cop.

“Uhhh, just trying to make conversation.” Sougo just resumed staring in his little corner.

Shige and Gonard were chilling in the pool eating hot pockets and jammin’ to some Britney.

“You know, this baby shower is gonna be ‘an old school hootin’ time’, Soyo-chan.” Shige said. Soyo and Hata rolled their eyes but Gonard gave him a high five.

“Yeah it it will! Maybe Tree-chan will even be invited!” Gonard said taking a bite of pepperoni.

“Woah, you have a girlfriend Big Blue? That’s pretty cool.” Shige said impressed but then got flustered. “....So if you don’t mind me asking...do... girl senseis look like guy senseis?”

“Tree-chan has several branches if that’s what you mean!” Gonard exclaimed.

“Oh I’m sorry, how inconsiderate and inpolite of me in this day and age to assume all girls are the same physically and labeling them as such. I will make a log about this in order to not make the same mistake. Shige replied very seriously. 

“Hmm..” Pops looked down at his wPhone GPS. “This young filter app looks great, damn useless digital map in the way.” 

Yamazaki took a peak at the destination time on the phone ahead of him.

“This roadtrip is only FIVE MINUTES in total to the terminal station? Then why has it been taking so long?” He said outloud.

“Turn left! Then right! Then left!” Gonard said outloud, Pops swerving in the direct each time.

“Wow this GPS’s voice is weird!” Matsudaira clung onto the wheel as he made sharp turns, causing the members in the back to spill everywhere.

“I didn’t know you were a GPS Big Blue.” Shigeshige then flung out and landed on Barkas still on the floor.

“I am a Big Blue of many talents!” He proudly shined off his cop badge. “Woooah!” Pops jabbed another turn, Gonard fell on top of the Shige/Barky pile.

“GONARD STOP IT!!!” Yamazaki yelled out.

Suddenly Pops had come to a fork in the highway between two exits and started to panic because his beauty face app wouldn’t tell him where to go.

“WHERE NOW? WHERE NOW? WHICH TURN?” Pops yelled out.

“Left off the freeway’s hill!” Gonard smiled.

“NOOOO!” Yamazaki screamed.

“The turn that that saves Ginpachi from his demise!” Zenzou sobbed into his hands.

“The one that makes me supreme arc bad guy to destroy that egghead forever.” Sonic smirked evily.

“The one that gets me closer to Gin-san!” Sacchan had hearts in her eyes laying in a pile of spilled natto.

“The one that reminds me the meaning of life...” Sougo looked down.

“The one that takes me closer to Bansai!” Hata smiled.

“No me!” Soyo grinned.

“No me!”

“No me!”

“Amusing ending dialogue! Shige smiled.

“My aching bones..” Barkas whimpered.

“Mmmrrr.” Jii said from the compartment he was stuck in.

“I’M TAKING A CHANCE!” Matsudaira dove off left the freeway as Gonard requested and the limo was stuck in mid air for a brief second.

—————

“Oooooh so fancy...” Katsura said as he stepped out his ship and into the floral courtyards of Eren’s giant home. Behind him was the other terrorist 5 and Yorozuya. “Let’s see if I can count all the Elizabeths here.. one Elizabeth, two Elizabeths, three Elizabeths...” He fell asleep in his husband’s arms and he carried him like a baby.

“Who told us to meet here instead of Edo anyways?” Matako wondered. 

-My little brother Barkas. Huh weird, I didn’t know he knew Eren. - Elizabeth signed, suddenly Zura woke up. 

“LITTLE ELIZABETH, BABY ELIZABETH AND FATHER ELIZABETH ARE COMING?? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME ELIZABETH?!” Katsura shook the duck and he got dizzy. “That’s.. three more Elizabeths..” He knocked himself out again and fell into Shinny’s arms.

“Hmm, I guess after all their ships were destroyed, I guess the only way to go from there is to cultivate a planet.” Takechi scratched his chin and then added. “I wonder if the expecting couple will need a godfather, especially if they have daughters.” He was slapped by Bansai and Matako.

“Look at all this bird’s rich shit, I’m definitely seeing big smackeroonies in my eyes now.” Gintoki rubbed his dirty hands together and Kagura did as well. 

“Eren-san sure has come along way since we’ve seen him last, isn’t that right Kagura-chan?” Shinpachi smiled.

“Shut up four eyes I’m in money mode. A giant seaweed the size of this overgrown turkey’s planet, uh-huh.” She said and Shinpachi’s face went dark.

“Please don’t let there be any more ducks...AHH!” Shinsuke smacked into two bird guards by the gate of the house. They opened up their beaks to reveal their faces.

“Ah, Katsura-san and his friends. President Eren has been expecting you.” One of them said and then they proceeded to open the door. Katsura snapped awake again and jumped out of his husband’s arms.

“PRESIDENT?! OH MONDAY ELIZABETHH!” Katsura hammed it up while crying on the Renho guard’s shoulder. “YOU HAVE COME SO FAR IN LIFE! WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE AMOUNTED UP TO YOUR ELIZABETH BROTHER, REGULAR ELIZABETH?” 

-You know I lived in a literal castle as a prince, right.- Elizabeth signed to his best friend. -I just hope Eren forgot about our little money ordeal...-

An escort led them to the oval office but stopped them before entering.

“The president is very hard at work right now so I wouldn’t ask too much of him.” The duck said and then opened them.

“DAMN!” The gang watched as Renho president threw down his controller. “Now I can’t respawn, those noobs glitched up the level purposely. I’ll have to work another six hours to achieve it again!! DAMN YOU SUPERCODPLAYER1995 AND MICKEYISCOOL! YOU GOOSE!” He gasped and covered his mouth. He then saw them all standing there behind him and up to face them. “Please don’t tell my wife I said that word, it was a heated gamer moment. Many of my close friends are geese.” Regular Elizabeth shook his head in disapproval. 

“MONDAY ELIZABETHHHH.” Katsura grabbed a hold of him and cried. “YOU’RE SO HANDSOME!!”

“K-Katsura-san...” Eren started to tear up. “It’s been years..”

They all begun walking down the hallways together to the place where the shower would be held. 

“I hope you all are enjoying Renho Quest, I named this new planet myself.” Eren smiled to himself, the others not surprised in even the slightest. “Our giant robots helped cultivate and farm this place into the green lands you saw before you. Man I love those guys.” 

“Hey big chief, what’s the wifi password here, my Wpotify app is acting up.” Bansai said, Katsura grabbed the airpods out of his ears and slapped him across the face like a mother.

“Your four must be the new edition to the terrorist family I’ve heard so much about!” The Renho president smiled at the Kiheitai members and extended his flipper.

“Katsura-sama never told us how handsome you were.” Matako smirked and shook his hand. “I’m Matako, these two are freaks-“ She pointed to an annoyed Bansai and a puzzled Takechi. “-and this is Shinsuke-sama~~.”

“Oh Katsura’s new husband, glad to meet ya!” Eren extended his flipper to him.

“..Honey, it’s talking directly to me.” Shinsuke hid behind his husband. Elizabeth was hiding behind Shinsuke.

“Regular Elizabeth, good to see you too!” Eren peaked behind them. 

-Oh uh.. I’m Tuesday Elizabeth. Yeah. Let’s roll with that.- He signed.

“Oh, well I hope that deadbeat pays you better than he did me.” Eren scoffed and Elizabeth just sweated.

“Hey Eren-san, long time no see!” Shinpachi smiled. 

“Sakata-san, Leader, Shinpimple-kun! Katsura-san told me all about you graciously wanting to help me and my Fumiko-chan out today. I can’t thank you gamers enough.” Eren said.

“SHINPIMPLE-KUN? You mean all you remember me by is that stupid gag from way back then?!” Shinpachi barked.

“So what’s with the sudden change of pace since we were last here, eh Pres? I thought you duck freaks finally abandoned those furry costumes of yours.” Gintoki said looking at all the ducks coming and going there.

“The Renho people are free to choose if they want to take on their costumes again or not.” Eren explained. “But guess most of them had what you humans called Stockholm Syndrome and missed them. It’s been a part of our culture for countless generations. Although most of them prefer talking than signing and exposing their real faces inside their suits. I guess that keeps them feeling liberated still. My own liberated story however is a bit different and actually involves my Fumiko-chan.”

Flashback to a year ago, it had been a couple years before that that the Renho had been freed of the artificial space station called Saigo which their ancestors built to keep them safe when their real planet had been destroyed. After the device was annihilated Eren had been busy in his own work to restore his people’s civilization. Being distracted helped him forget how lonely he was, the Earth friends he had to leave behind, especially Katsura.... and Fumiko. When they were trying to save the galaxy from Saigo, she sacrificed herself for everyone to destroy it. The last time he had saw her individually, he had to pretend he was going along with the Renho’s plans to invade Earth when in reality he had formed a rebellion group against them. He then had to wipe her and Katsura’s memories to not get them involved any furthermore, which was super painful for him. So it wasn’t the best parting terms. Even though they did regain their memories of him, he never really forgave himself. It was one particular day during routine maintenance on the mothership that he got an incoming message from one of his lower ranks. It was some school ducklings that were having a field trip and wanted to see General himself. He agreed and the man let them in on the bridge.

-Hello kiddies! Welcome to the mothership of the Renho!- Eren signed and waved, he had gotten up from his spot from steering the wheel. 

“General, is it true you’re the duck who helped free all the duckies in the world?” One of the children asked. Eren nodded. 

-Yes I was one of them, my little duckling.- He signed back.

“Mr. General Eren, if our people were li-uh liber- freed of using signs and of their costumes, why do you still do it?” Another asked. Eren took a second to himself and then responded.

-You see children, I made a vow on that day I would keep myself faceless and muted, to remember how far as a species we’ve come and honor the ones who helped and gave their lives to free our people.- He told them, they expressed awes for a few moments but then became bored.

“Hey I heard this old man has more Wintendo cartiages of anyone in his room, let’s go play them!” A kid said and they all ran out of the bridge room.

-NO DON’T! THOSE ARE VINTAGE AND MINT CONDITIONED!- He went to go run after them but was stopped by a lower rank

“Sir, their teacher is wondering where the students went.” He told him. 

-Tell them they’ll all get them back in a second when I round those piggies up like Red Dead Redemption.- Eren rolled up his wings and moved the duck man out of his way.

“Sir they’re waiting for you behind this door.” He urged his General, Eren just sighed.

-Fine, let them in.- He agreed and went back to steering the ship. 

“Retiring from a storyteller on Earth to a school teacher back to her native people sure is a hassle, aah.~ I should have one of the cute pilot boys here massage my aching slim shoulders.~~” The duck lady rubbed herself against one of them at their com station.

“M’am, I’m trying to work.” He replied annoyed. 

Eren’s pupils shrunk and he ever so slowly turned around. 

“FUMIKO!” He yelled out. Before she could respond, Eren ran to her and hugged her tightly and buried his head in her shoulder. “I...I thought I lost you forever...”

“Sir your vow of silence and your hidden face!” An officer pointed to Eren, his beak must had opened up when he latched onto Fumiko. Eren looked straight ahead for a second.

“Oops.” He said.

Fumiko took one look at her former lover’s exposed face and made a little smile but then it quickly faded as she shook her head. She took his hands off of her and turned around. 

“Yes I’m alive, Eren. You’d be surprised how good of a plot armor I had in that arc as the A-listed beauty.” She flipped her red locks. “However, I just came back to get my students, that is all.” His heart felt like it dropped several stories. 

“What about us..?” Eren asked.

“What.. we had back there on Earth and for several years just wouldn’t work anymore, Eren. Look how far we’ve drifted apart in careers, look how far we’ve grown as people. We’re like a hymen that’s been torn apart by the sensei of reality.” Fumiko told him.

“M-marry me.” 

She turned around, stunned. 

“W-What did you say?” She asked.

“Look, I don’t care about the past. I don’t care what might have happened between us to not love each other anymore.” He got down on one knee and a wedding ring he had randomly won on a game show once. “Huh, never thought I’d be able to use this.” She put a hand to her mouth. “Fumiko. You know me better than anyone here. And maybe losing the friends I loved has reminded me how important they are. How important you are. What I’m trying to say is that I’m lonely gamer boy who can’t move onto another princess in another castle. Or whoever you like to main in Kart.”

“E-Eren..” Tears formed in her eyes. She held her flippers onto his flippers, his heart racing. “I never stopped loving you. When the Renho were attacking, I was thinking of you the most. What you did back there for those Earthlings to save them and to save our species made me even prouder of you...” She warmly smiled. “And I main Bowser.” 

She dipped him over with her big strong arms and kissed him, the other officer awww’ed.

“Aww background characters getting fleshed out in a backflash.” One of them said. 

“I promise I’ll make everything up to you for now on.” Eren grinned and she did likewise back. Then he suddenly heard something from another room. 

“Hey guys let’s play this old man’s game called XxxDuckingDuckersxxX!”

“OH NO!” He broke free of another kiss and sped out of the room.

“Aww that was sort of touching.” Shinpachi said as the backflash ended.

“And too long.” Kagura picked her nose.

“And I did make it up to her.. all night.” Eren smirked.

“OI IT WENT FROM TOUCHING TO PERVERTED WAY TOO QUICKLY! AND WHAT IS THAT? WHAT ARE YOU TWO WEARING, EREN-SAN? ARE THOSE GAME CARTRIDGES?” Shinpachi yelled.

“I almost forgot you were a child, Shinpimple-kun. That’s what us adults call ‘costume roleplaying’.” Eren explained. 

“Yeah I know what roleplaying is and that definitely damn isn’t it!” Shinpachi argued. “And STOP calling me that!”

“You roleplay too? WE ARE SO ALIKE MONDAY ELIZABETH!” Katsura hugged him.

“OI we have the sex deviants up here all together now!!” Shinpachi yelled.

“OH ALL MY TERRORIST BABIES TOGETHER IN ONE ROOOM!” Katsura put the EF bandmates into his hug too, none of them really that phased by their captain’s gushy love for them at this point. “This is gonna be the best baby shower EVER!”

“Alright, just over there is the living room where you guys can get to work.” Eren pointed to some fancy wooden doors as two guards opened it for them.

“Ahahaha! Kintoki?! Mr. Takasugi?! What are you doing her-“

Gintoki and Shinsuke immediately closed the doors and had dark faces.

“Hey why did you do that Gin-chan? I wanted to earn the big bucks!” Kagura protested. 

She got behind the two old men and ripped the doors off the hinges. The guards stood there in awe, their beaks dropping. The terrorists, Yorozuya and Eren walked in the room. He exchanged handshakes with Tatsuma, Mutsu and Skele who were sitting on the couch and begun conversating with them. Meanwhile Bansai and the others got out instruments they were carrying the entire time (trust me I swear) and started setting them up in the room. 

“Why the hell is he here.” Shinsuke sat on another couch across from Tatsuma as he was still laughing it up for miles, the purple haired man still had a dark face.

“He’s the idiot who brought all these white devils to Earth in the first place.” Gintoki replied, still a dark face as well.

“Of course he is.” Shinsuke said back.

“Ahahaha! Oboro just texted me that he’s gonna do some radio thing for the shower!”  Gintoki and Shinsuke looked sicker now. “That man has more connections to birds then I thought! He also asked if I wanted to be his date so I had to temporarily block him.”

Gin and Shin both then looked at Skele who was sitting there very visibly nervous next to Mutsu, who in turn had the same expression.

“Uhhh, s-some of the Heroes are coming here to thank for President Eren helping end the war.” Skele stumbled. “I just happen to be the first one that arrived.”

“And uhhh I-I came here because my Captain is an idiot.” Mutsu tipped her hat to hide her flushing. Gintoki and Shinsuke’s expressions didn’t change.

“Hey Gin-san, there isn’t many party decorations for us to hang up. Looks like we’ll have to buy some more ourselves.” Shinpachi was holding up a single streamer, the only thing there for them to use. 

Gintoki got up from the couch to look at the layout and then proceeded to thump Katsura in the back of his head.

“Way to go, moron! You didn’t tell us we had to bring our own stuff.” Gintoki said annoyed.

“LEAVE ME ALONE. SHINNY!” Katsura called out, Shinsuke slowly got up from the couch and sighed.

“Look, just go buy some supplies or something and stop abusing my husband you big doofus.” Shinsuke handed Gintoki a roll of 200 bucks. Gintoki and Kagura looked at the fat chuck of dough in his palm and made an evil snicker.

“I WILL be looking at the receipt for it after, Gintoki!” Shinsuke shouted out.

“Yeah, yeah. we heard you Shinny..” He replied.

Gintoki and Kagura slowly walked away but then sprinted to the doors. However they were both met in the back of their heads by Shinsuke’s katana and collapsed to the floor. Shinpachi just pitched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. He helped them to the couch to lay there until they would regain consciousness. Eren’s attention turned from Sakamoto as he heard a familiar voice from the other room.

“Fumiko..” 

Eren got up as the guards opened the doors and he saw his pregnant wife. He helped her walk to the living room in her current state. The others waved and greeted her.

“Wow look at the size of that belly, I wish Yammy could knock me up like that.” Bansai slipped out. Katsura walked over to him tuning his guitar and slapped his face with his sandal. “Ow, damn moms.”

“Fumi-chan!” Kagura called out and patted the seat next to her on the sofa. Eren helped her sit down and sat next to her.

“Kagura-chan! It sure has been a while hasn’t it?” Fumiko smiled at her.

“Hey Fumi-chan, I heard you’re a school teacher now! Can you teach me why you married a geeky cherry boy gamer? That’s the lowest of low!” Kagura exclaimed.

“Kagura-chan, Eren-san is right next to you..” Shinpachi stated.

“Ery Beary has his charm, even as a geeky gamer. You just have to unlock several Wbox achievements to find it.” She joked and Eren lightly chuckled. “And he’s definitely no cherry boy.” Kagura then made a grossed out face.

“Hello Fumiko, congratulations on the kiddies.” Gintoki went to shake her hand on the couch.

“Well it sure has been a long time since I’ve seen you, Sakata Gintoki. Glad to see you still have the touch.” She smiled.

“OI THAT’S A MARRIED AND PREGNANT WOMAN YOU’RE DOING THAT DISGUSTING PIXELATED THING TO, GIN-SAN!” Shinpachi yelled out.

“AHAHAHAHA! So when are you due Fumiko? You look HUGE!” Sakamoto was shot in the crotch by Mutsu and he fell to the floor in agonizing pain.

“Huh, I don’t understand...” Fumiko said confused.

“I think what Tatsuma meant is when are you scheduled to give birth?” Skele said.

“Give birth..? What does that mean?” She asked and then looked at her husband who shrugged.

“Well you know! The babies in your belly..” Shinpachi explained.

“You Earthlings eat your children? That’s sick.” Eren shook his head and put his arm around his wife’s shoulder.

“Fumi-chan, Shinpimple is talking about your monsterous belly uh-huh.” Kagura said and Shinpachi clenched his hands.

“Oooh! Okay.” Fumiko got up and several items fell down from her costume. “I thought we all could do some pre-baby shower games.” She winked.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ALL PIXELATED JUNK, FUMIKO-SAN?! THIS IS YOUR BABY SHOWER NOT A SMUT HOUSE! AND WE HAVE MINORS HERE LIKE ME! Wait.. WHERE ARE YOUR BABIES THEN?!” Shinpachi put his hands in his hair in disbelief. “EREN-SAN!” He called out for support.

“Doesn’t she look like Pauline but a million times prettier?” Eren blissfully sighed. Shinpachi knew it was a lost cause to reach out to him.

“Ammature hour.” 

Shinsuke stood up from his fancy duck chair with his written name in behind it and scoffed. “Look at this junk, they shouldn’t even be considered adult toys, this is mere child’s play.” 

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME TAKASUGI-SAN?!” Shinpachi yelled.

“Hmmm, do you think so? Say, I’ve never seen you before slick.~~” She smirked and went to shake his hand but he swiped it back.

“Yeah yeah yeah. I’ve seen your little sadist trick lady and it’s not fooling me like these other morons. Your technique is awful.” Shinsuke crossed his arms.

“I can’t believe it, what is happening?!!” The glasses kid exclaimed. “AND WHERE ARE THE BABIES?!”

“Oi, let’s just see where she takes this Patusan..” Gintoki was very much awake now. Shinpachi’s face darkened. 

“Sounds like a bunch talk from a scrubbed clean cherry boy to me.” Fumiko pretended to file her flipper. Shinsuke made a big laugh.

“Hey Honey, come here!” Shinsuke extended his hand and Zura did likewise.

“AAAAaah!~” Katsura moaned and immediately fell to the floor.

“Impressive..  For a scrawny little Earth boy.” She said and Shinsuke rolled his eye. “Eren baby, come here!”

“Sure deAAAAA-“ 

“Not bad...” Shinsuke observed Eren on the ground, impressed as well and then looked back at her. “For an overgrown pigeon.” She scoffed.

“STOP MAKING THIS LIKE AN ORGY! What the HELL is wrong with you people?”  Shinpachi screamed. “AND I’M STARTING TO THINK THERE WAS NEVER ANY BABIES!” Fumiko stopped to ponder this for a moment.

“Ery, you were watching our eggs in your office while you were working. Remember?” She look at him on the ground laying in his own disgusting gamer Wheeto dust and nose bleed mess.

“Oh that’s right, damn Bumblebee and Megatron’s action figures fight to the death distracted me. Thankfully Bumblebee won.” Eren got up as the others behind the couple facepalmed. He waddled into the other room and came back. Everyone got up from their chairs and surrounded the basket, marveling at the cute sight before them. Shinpachi smiled.

“Awww. How ador-“ 

“-THESE ARE JUST CARTRIDGES!”

“And I fertilized them!” Eren said very proudly.

“WAIT I just realized!” Katsura then got up as he was now on the ground under Shinsuke’s legs for some dirty competitive reason with the other couple there. “We need a gal pal only prepartion for the hatching shower. MOMMY SPA DAY AND BABY STUFF SHOPPING SPREE!”

“Wahoo! More free stuff!” Kagura and Matako cheered.

“That’s a great idea, Katsura! Then I’ll look even more super beautiful and glamorous. Ery Beary, can you sit on the eggs to keep them warm until we come back?” Eren was now below Fumiko’s costume and she shook her goods at him.

“Aaa ahuh.. w-whatever you just said, dear..” Eren said dazed in bliss. She slapped him with her sensei. “Uhhh I mean yes mommy.”

The super dad got up and rushed over to their eggs. He parked his kaboose on them and then got out his Switch.

“Alright! Finally my turn.” Gintoki slid under the duck costume like it was his birthday.

“Wait a second, this isn’t a-“ 

Elizabeth snatched him under his costume and threw against the wall and he died.

“That’s okay Katsura-san, I’m not really into stuff like shopping sprees and I kind of wanted to stay here and talk to Bonest-“ But before Mutsu could finish the girls grabbed her hand and sped off.

After most of the ruckus had died down, Skele got up from the couch and awkwardly laid against the wall beside of Bansai. The singer was still sitting on the ground and tuning his guitar while also giving annoyingly overly bossy instructions to his two bandmates. The skeleton waited for a lul in the conversation before intervening.

“So uh.. Kawakami Bansai.” Skele took a sip of his red solo cup. 

“Yep dude, that’s my name.” Bansai strum on one of the strings to test it.

“So you’re pretty famous for your love ballads and romantic charisma right?” Skele rubbed the back of his head. Bansai just looked at the camera.

“Look man, this love pentagon is bad enough. The TBC writers really think this funny to add another huh?” Bansai asked annoyed.

“No, you got it wrong! Not you, I meant...” Skele sighed. “It’s Mutsu. When I first met her I thought she was super intimidating but she’s such a good commander and kind and.. I’m just not that confident you know?”

“Huh, a yato. Well from what I’ve seen of the wrecklessnes of Kamui-san and Leader, I say you really got your work cut out for you. Ehh, what the heck. Katsura-dono stole my keyboardist at the moment anyway.” Bansai got up from the floor. “Plus it’s the least I can do after our band manager Kyu Kyu helped me with my own romantic problem in the last arc. I got to touch Yammy’s face..” He sighed contently.

“Really you’ll do it?! Thanks so much!” Skele shook his hand.

“For a small fee.” Bansai said and Skele just chuckled.

“I mean it.” Bansai said very seriously. Skele sighed and slapped him a twenty. Then Bansai and Skele started sniffing the air.

“Say, is someone really smoking hard in here?” Skele wondered.
————————-

“I don’t know Joe, we’ve walked around nearly every square inch of this air polluted city plus went to Josh’s university itself and the teachers said he left campus five hours ago and didn’t return back to his dorm. I’m worried.” Steve tried holding the map sideways. Joe then took a hold of it.

”Look Steve, it’s getting pretty late, maybe we should settle for the night. I’m sure Josh just went out for a little spin before classes tomorrow, let’s just wait for him then. Maybe some sleeping might do us both good in the meantime. I heard Treasure Island is rather fun.” They heard a Ha! in the distance but didn’t question it. Steve shook his head.

“I’m not giving up, not even for a second Joe. That comic book is more powerful than our real universe and in the wrong hands it could cause who knows what kind of inter-dimensional tragedy. Toshi is counting on me.” 

Steve took back the map and pulled out his detective magnifying glass. He stared for a moment at it before scratching his chin. 

“You know maybe we’re looking at this wrong Joe.” Joe was staring at some of the risqué billboards but then turned around back to his older brother.

“Eh?” He asked.

“We’re the Blue Prints Detective Agency, we haven’t looked at this like detectives yet.” Steve explained. Joe nodded in agreement. The brothers then looked in front of them.

“Can you guys help us find Josh?” Steve asked the audience.

“Yes!” They suddenly called back to them.

“Right on little guys! Okay. Do you see any clues that might tell us where he is?” Joe said. The audience took a few moments searching around the street until locating something in the distance.

“A clue! A clue!” They replied.

“A shoe?” Steve and Joe wondered despite having played this game thousands of times.

“A clue! Over there behind you at that big hotel!” 

“Bingo! Great idea Stevey!” Josh clapped his hands together.

They ran across the street in front of Ceaser’s Palace, stumbled for a few seconds in all the traffic to find it as cars were angrily beeping at them but located something sparkling inside a potted plant near the entrance doors. Steve quickly dusted the dirt off of it and flipped open his Handy Dandy Notebook.

“First you got to make the circular top, the straight lines down and then the pointy tip.” Steve put the crayon back in its place and smiled proudly.

“Bro, we’re surrounded by naked Roman statues, that’s not how you draw one of those.” Joe said. Steve facepalmed.

“It’s not suppose to be that. Here.” He handed the “clue” to his little brother. Joe suddenly lit up.

“Josh’s tablet pen! I recognize the nervous bite marks on it anywhere.” Joe put it in his pocket for safe keeping for now.

“If that’s true then Josh might not be too far from here! But what is he doing here on Vegas Boulevard? I thought he had back-to-back classes this whole semester. This street is just a bunch of gambling, clubs and hotels.” Steve said confused. Joe put his arm around the bald man’s shoulders and smirked.

“Awwh, come on Stevey. We’re in Vegas! The kid is probably just enjoying himself for a little break.” Joe then sipped on his beer hat.

“For both ours and the comic’s sake I hope you’re right, little brother..” Steve looked around the area and sighed. The two brothers then proceeded to enter in the hotel’s casino.

TBC

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“JUST KIDDING I NEVER HAD A WIFE AND I’M AN ONLY CHILD! I TOLD YOU I’D BE BACK FOR YA AUTHOR!”

 

TBC

[Aya♥]

On 9/25/2019 at 12:56 AM, Old Man Jenkins said:

Time to dust off the Ayaverse chops for this one; how would you draft the new Raw and Smackdown rosters (or at least the wrestlers you consider the major players) in a way that makes both FOX and USA happy?

Brock for sure is going to Smackdown, does he win the title friday?  Not sure, but I could see him sticking there.  I think most of the rosters are actually pretty balanced as is.  I could see Buddy going to Raw, in trade for Cedric to Smackdown that is he doesn't beat AJ tonight.  If he does, I could see Cedric and Shinsuke getting swapped.  I think tag teams are fine where they are currently, maybe swap some of the undercard tag teams.  I see Shayna getting called up to Smackdown, that should be pretty cool.  Hard to guess, but a lot of the major players I think are staying on their respective brands.  Maybe have Roman be a cross-brand superstar like Cena

[Aya♥]

"HA DO YOU SEE IT!  IT'S WIX FLAGS SUSPENDED IN MID AIR!"  Kamui ran through the gates of the park without paying, blowing the security guards 50 feet in each direction.  The rest of his crew was trudging behind him, Abuto stopping to pay for everyone's tickets.

"Yare yare, why can't we just be at the baby shower with everyone else.  We're standing out here in the burning sun with these long coats on."  Abuto turned his head to see Monika wearing her summer dress.  The white glisten of her beautiful fabric hitting his eyes, as she blinked her gorgeous emerald green eyes at his direction.

The author was enamored at the sight, and also slugged by Abuto.  But he was ok with it.

"Chief never said we had a dress code.  It's too stuffy in those coats out here!"  Monika said, running into the park after Kamui.  No Man caught up to Abuto wearing nothing but (sticky) swim trunks.

"Dude are you serious?  You'll bake alive halfling"  Abuto propped open his umbrella and tried catching up to Kamui and Monika.  4th and Ham walked hand in hand to a tea cup ride to have some big chill with the other lower ranked members.  Kamui was standing in line for the "SUPER BONE CRUSHER", tapping his feet impatiently.

"HURRY UP!  I WANT TO HIT EVERY RIDE AT LEAST 5 TIMES TODAY!  HAAAAA!"  Kamui twirled his umbrella in front of him, knocking people out of his way.  Abuto face-palmed, he turned to see No Man's glasses sitting on a pile of ashes.

"NO MAN!  I WARNED YOU WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WITHOUT YOUR UMBRELLA AND CLOTHES!"  Abuto kneeled down and picked the (sticky) ashes up as they ran through his fingers.

"Dog, can you hand me my glasses, I dropped them in that pile of cigarette ashes."  Abuto's face grew dark as he picked the glasses up and chucked them half way across the park.  "DOG WHAT THE HELL?!"  No Man started to run after the glasses, but accidentally bumped into Monika, sending both of them toppling over each other.  No Man ended up on top of her in an awkward position,

"Ahaha, oh No Man, you're so clumsy."

 No Man was thinking to himself in sheer fear, 'Oh no dog...this is worst case scenario number 1...Glitcherina is going to kill me but worse...Abuto is gonna hang my (sticky) ass above the mantle.'  he gulped as he attempted to stand up, but was grabbed from behind by meaty ossan hands.

Kamui turned his head to see Abuto and Monika stuffing No Man into a trash can and smiled.

"I'm glad my crew are enjoying themselves so much!  We needed a break like this."  Kamui put his hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him.  The person turned around and looked him directly in the eyes,

 "Why did you angles follow us here...I swear I cannot escape you guys."  Kamui was in such a rush he didn't even see Shinji at the front of the line, after Kamui threw everyone else out of the line first.  Shinji looked back from his wheelchair and quickly turned around not to look at Kamui,

"HA LOOK WHO IT IS!  IT'S MY TICKET TO THE FRONT OF EVERY LINE!"  Kamui lifted Gendo off the ground and threw him in the sky to stand behind Shinji.  Gendo was flying through the air,

"I just wanted to spend time with my son..."  Gendo did not know when he would come down.

"H-uhhh, hey Kamui..."  Shinji was nervous but Kamui slapped his legs as hard as he could and sat in his lap.  Shinji's wheelchair squeaked with the added weight of Kamui. 

"Come on kid!  Let's hit the SUPER SKULL ANNIHILATOR or whatever this is!"  Kamui said with a smile.  Shinji reluctantly rolled his way to the seats of the coaster.  The worker there was puzzled as only two people were there to seat.  Kamui sat at the very front and dragged Shinji up next to him.  "START THE DAMN RIDE, HA!"  the worker saluted and cranked the shaft.  Shinji prayed as the rollercoaster began to move.  The coaster then zoomed at super high speed and Kamui lifted Shinji up like the scene in the Titanic,

"I'M THE KING OF THE COASTERS!"

 

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Gin-san, we're at the Warty Wity."  Shinpachi shook Gintoki.  Gintoki awoke from his death state and screamed.  He looked around and sighed,

"Those ducks are dangerous under those suits, I tell you."  Gintoki stood up and brushed himself off.  "Why don't we just leave?  Shinsuke handed us 200 dollars.  That's one months rent right there!"  Kagura scratched her chin but Shinpachi objected,

"Come on guys, this is for Eren and Fumiko!  Even though I'm not entirely sure they're even pregnant..."  Shinpachi was also conflicted.  Shinpachi shook his head and put his foot down,  "No, we have to do this guys!"  He turned to the rest of the Odd Jobs and saw Gintoki and Kagura entering a Wubway.  "OI!  WE CAN'T JUST GO ON A LUNCH BREAK!"  Gintoki stopped and showed Shinpachi a list.  It was a list Eren had given Kagura before they left.

"What's this?"  He examined it and saw "4 foot long subs.  Stuff some good classics from the Wega Genesis in there if you could.  Buy Spongebob-dono pinata and banners for Katsura.  Buy Easter Eggs.  Buy something special for Fumiko, oh and pick up some Mountain Dew."  Shinpachi crumpled up the list and threw it in a recycling bin, very responsible Shinpachi-kun!

"Do you think Fumiko-chan would like this empty WFC bucket here on the side of the road?"  Kagura asked Gintoki.  Gintoki nodded his head, while Kagura picked the bucket up to use as sandwich holders.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW DIRTY THAT IS?!"  Shinpachi was getting enraged.

"Alright Shinpachi-kun, you go buy the Cheesepants stuff from the Warty Store, while me and Kagura get some old games from Wamestop."  Gintoki said.

The camera shifts back to Eren and Katsura passed out on a couch together after achieving an "extra man".  Fumiko slapped her flippers together and stared dead at Shinsuke.  Shinsuke froze in fear.  An intimidating duck lady, his worst nightmare. 

"Hey, you aren't much of a cherry boy are you?"  Shinsuke let his guard down and smirked,

"I've been around the block, but I'm only committed to Kotarou.  Sorry duck lady."  Shinsuke walked away to sit on his throne again.  Next to him was Bansai strumming on his guitar, trying to write a song for Skele.

"Look man, I can only write songs from my heart!  It's hard for me not to sing about my Yammy."  Bansai sat the guitar down.  Skele looked disappointed, but picked the guitar up himself.  Bansai's eyes got dark.  "Who said you could touch Yammy boneyhands."  Skele strummed some beautiful chords and sat it back down.  Bansai looked impressed.  "Well I'll be damned, you made Yammy sound beautiful...giving me a little inspiration."  Bansai started to pin down some ideas.  Shinsuke looked back at Skele and gave him a thumbs up.

"Say Shinny, wanna grab some punch?"  Skele stood up, as did Shinsuke,

"Didn't even have to ask twice buddy.  It's not often we get to just hang out, the two of us that is."  Shinsuke smiled and put his arm around Skele's shoulder blade.

"We should get together sometime after this party!"  Skele said smiling.  Shinsuke leaned against the punch table, collapsing it over and spilling punch and snacks all over the floor.

"So Skele, how about you and that Yato?  You two have been real prickly lately.  Do I have to show you the ropes or what?  You seem more lost than when you were a child coming into Sensei's school."  Shinsuke picked up a small sandwich soaked in punch from the ground.

"Aww come on Shinsuke, i-it's nothing like that...I've just never felt this way about someone."  Skele blushed.  Shinsuke just chuckled,

"You never change Skele, that's why I couldn't ever stay mad at you, even back then when I turned my back on everyone...I never really had the chance to tell you that I'm glad you came back into our lives."  Shinsuke said, unexpectedly to Skele.

"I'm glad you feel that way Shinsuke, even if this is a comedy arc, that means a lot to me."  Skele gave his friend a bro hug.  From the other room, Makato and Mutsu were looking at all the nice...uhh cartridge based beauty packages they had.

"Barbie's Beauty Salon on the Wintendo DS?"  Mutsu held it up, severely confused.  Makato looked fed up and chucked her copy of Barbie across the room, hitting Eren in the head while he was laying on the couch.  He woke up and scratched the wound on his head,

"What the...who threw perfectly good beauty supplies at me while I was sleeping..."  He turned to see a bald man and a robot enter the building.

"Sensei, you have such a beautiful voice.  Way more beautiful than that old man Yes Man barks about all the time."  Genos clapped as Saitama was singing his lungs out.  Eren sat up and greeted a fellow gamer in Saitama.

"Ahh, nice to finally meet you face to face EpicGamingEren."  Saitama shook his flipper in mighty respect.  Genos was in complete awe.  Eren smirked,

"I was able to beat you a few times in Street Wighter...but that King guy is someone to reckon with."  Genos came up to Eren and shook his flipper and bowed,

"Thank you for helping us Heroes protect Edo and the universe from those Tendoshu."  Eren patted the robot on the head and walked past both of them to hand Matako back her beauty supplies.  Saitama walked into the main room, accidentally stepping into the punch that was spilled.  Genos quickly laid down in front of Saitama,

"Here Sensei, walk over me to a comfy chair."  Saitama sighed and walked on Genos to a dryer spot in the room.  He heard a laughing man from the distance get closer to him, and in tow with Tatsuma was his first lieutenant Mikey Simon.  The two locked eyes as their faces got darkened.  The two walked towards each other with such massive energy field forming around them, the ground was shaking and the air was whirling inside the building.  The both extended their hands and grasped a hold of each other,

 

"Long time no see Mickeyiscool."  Saitama said seriously.  Mikey just laughed, and so did Saitama as the two old pals had been re-united.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"uhhhg my ass hurts..."  Sonic was laying in a heap at the bottom of a cavern.  The limosine was torn to shreds and he saw no trace of anyone near him.

  "How the hell did I end up in here..."  Sonic looked around the cave and saw someone sitting there out of the corner of his eyes.

"So you're finally awake Ninja."  Sougo did not break his stare from the wall.  Sonic was taken aback by the Shinsengumi officer sitting alone in the cave with him.

"Why are we here Shinsengumi?"  Sonic asked demandingly.  Sougo sighed,

"After the wreck, you were the only person I saw left from it.  I dragged you to this cave and patched up your ass wounds."  Sougo said.  Sonic grabbed his cheeks out of embarrassment and began to storm out of the cave.  "Good luck find them...I've been searching all afternoon.  I just wanted a chance to talk with him, I can't even find him."  Sougo remained still in the corner while Sonic stood at the entrance of the cave.

"Don't worry, I'm pretty speedy, so I can get through this forest fast."  Sonic leaped out of the cave and began dashing on top of the trees.  Sonic peered down as he was running, and eventually spotted a small fire coming a little ways out of the cave.  He slid down the tree and saw Soyo, Gonard, Yamazaki, and Prince Hata squatting around a fire.

"Jimmy...this has to be her."  Gonard said running up to a tree.

"For the 20th time Gonard, no.  That is a different tree."  Yamazaki looked up and saw Sonic sitting on a branch above them.

"Oooo, a ninja!"  Prince Hata said excited.

"Do you know where everyone is Mister Sonic?"  Soyo asked, warming her hands with the fire.  Sonic shook his head.

"I have to look for the others, stay put."  the 4 nodded as the ninja began leaping through the trees.  Eventually he came across a clearing with the waning sun shining through it, and there someone stood.

"Sonic!  I'm glad to see a familiar face.  Have you see everyone else?  After the accident, I got separated from Barkas and Matsudaria-san.  I'm grateful a long time friend like you would come along."  the Shogun was buckass nekked in the middle of the clearing with nothing or no one around him.  Sonic face palmed and walked up to Shige.

"You aren't safe here Shige, your little sister and her friend are just about a few meters back.  Join them and for heavens sake put some clothes on."  Sonic continued searching around the forest.  Sonic then spotted not too far off from the clearing three more people huddled under a tree.  He landed above them and spooked Pops pretty badly, which caused him to fire a shot through Sonic's hair.  Sonic saw Sacchan making out with a tree that she painted with silver poofy hair, and Zenzou still reading the same comic he had in the limo.

"They have to bring him back, right Pops?!"  Zenzou shook the older man, who was completely feral looking at this point.

"Can't trust no one in these here woods...just me and my gun...Sho-chan is probably safe...yeah he has to be..."  Sonic shook his head and jumped away.  He was still looking for one person, but the sun was setting fast.  He decided it was best to meet back up with Sougo in the cave for the night.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Come on dude, just one more spin.  What if one of these things has a clue on it?"  Joe slapped his metallic hand on the slot machine button and won nothing again.  Steve yanked him from the chair and started to lecture Joe.

"We don't have time for this!  He hasn't come back to his dorm room yet, and you're here playing freaking slots!"  Steve threw his notebook down in frustration.  Steve shook his head and went to pick it up, but right next to it was something crumpled up with a huge clue on it.  "Joe, it's a clue!"  Joe reluctantly got up from his seat and picked up the clue.

"This is Josh's Bull's jersey...I'd recognize it anywhere."  Joe said.  The two were now getting closer to finding their cousin.

"Let's ask management for security footage."  Joe nodded to Steve's arrangement and the two went to find some workers.  Joe and Steve flashed their badges and were let into the security office.  Joe started flipping through the footage from earlier in the day and the previous night.  When he was rewinding though, he saw one screen that caught his eye,

"Look Steve, there he is!  He was here earlier!"  Joe paused the tape and pointed.

  But both of them saw something that shot shivers down their spine,

"B-Billy...how did he get out of the book?  Unless...oh no, no dude..."  Joe shook his head,  "I should have never told him that order."  Joe put his hands on his face.  Steve's face got dark with anger, but forgot about it.

"Those two are up to nothing but trouble...look Josh is getting escorted out of the building...what the hell were these two doing?"  Steve was perplexed, but the security guard spoke up,

"Oh those two?  They were causing all kinds of chaos.  We asked them constantly to leave but never did.  We had to force them out before anyone else got hurt.  Police were called and everything."  Joe and Steve looked at each other in horror.

"They didn't..."  both of them said in unison.

-------------------------------------------------------------

"So this is where you've been for the past like what, 500 arcs."  Gintoki was looking dead fish eyed at the Wamestop Employee.

"What brings you all the way out here Gintoki?  I wanted to travel and meet new people but somehow I end up right back where I left."  Tsukuyo took a puff from her cigarette pipe.

"You're scantally clad and smoking while working inside a Wamestop.  Not surprised really."  Gintoki shrugged.  "We need some retro games, you guys carry Wragon's Quest or what.  Or maybe you carry some AO games in the back.  You wouldn't mind taking me in the back room would y-"  Tsukuyo kicked Gintoki and stepped on his head,

  "Another word and I smashed your head like a watermelon."  Kagura walked up to Tsukuyo and showed her a game that said "Cooking Mama, Super Mama Edition"

"Tsuki!  Can I have this one?"  Kagura asked.  Tsukuyo smiled and rang up the game.

"150 dollars please."  Tsukuyo said.  Kagura unrolled the money and handed it to her.

"Do you think the 25 dollars we gave to Shinpachi was enough money?"  Gintoki asked, still laying on the carpeted floor.

"For sure Gin-chan!  Tsuki, do you have any boomer games for 25 dollars?"  Kagura asked.  Tsukuyo thought about it and brought out a game that said Muster's Revenge.

"OIIII WE CAN'T HAVE A GAME LIKE THAT IN OUR STORY!  IT'S GROSS AND RACIST!"  Shinpachi busted down the door carrying a cheap looking Spongebob pinata and a bag full of plastic eggs.

"Shinpachi, look what I got!"  Kagura showed Shinpachi the Cooking Mama game and the price tag on the game case.

"OIIIIIIIIII 150 DOLLARS????  WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?  WHY IS TSUKUYO-SAN LIVING ON THIS PLANET?!"  Shinpachi was close to busting a gasket at this point.  Tsukuyo tilted her head at the party supplies.

"We're celebrating a baby shower Tsuki!  You should come with us and make Gin-chan less of a lonely loser."  Kagura said, popping her cooking mama game in her WS.  Gintoki gave her puppy dog eyes but she shoved him into a display that toppled over and dozens of games fell on him.  "There's a lot of booze!"  Tsukuyo suddenly rushed over and lifted Gintoki on her shoulders,

"Let's blow this joint and have an awesome baby shower."

The 4 made their way back to the baby shower, which now looked like an absolute warzone.  Furniture was broken, and no one had cleaned up the punch.  Eren was sitting on his cartridge eggs in the back of the room keeping them warm, Mikey and Saitama were gaming on the large TV, Shinsuke and Skele were still talking at the broken table, and EF were tuning up their instruments on the stage.

"Ah, you guys are back!  Just set the pinata up over the band, and hang the banner above the door outside.  Put the sandwiches uhh...on the ground next to the punch bowl."  Eren said.  Kagura walked over and handed the empty WFC bucket to him and whispered,

"This is for Fumiko-chan!"  Eren looked at it perplexed but Kagura walked off before he could say anything more.  Tsukuyo walked over and grabbed an entire bottle of sake that was sitting next to the spilled punch bowl and began drinking it.  Fumiko walked in and clapped her flippers loudly to get everyone's attention.

"Alright all my cherry boys and cherry girls~ I think it's about time we get this party officially starte-"  but she was cut off by Eren,

"Dear, Shijaku hasn't arrived yet!  We can't start without him."  Fumiko rolled her eyes.

"I'll give him 20 minutes, and if he isn't here, we're starting regardless if his Super Cherry Ass is present."  Fumiko waddled back to the couch Katsura was laying on and sat on him, crushing him into the couch.

--------------------------------------------------------

"To think the author would save me for last...smart man really."

 

"Uhm Sir, we have "slid" into Shijaku's DMs.  Would you like the location?"  Enshou's first captain said, shaking with nerves.  Enshou grabbed him with one hand and lifted him off the ground.

"Certainly."  Enshou sat him down while the coordinates projected onto his Wotel 8 wall.  The grime and weird stains on the wall were fully illuminated from the projector.  "Fairly isolate location wouldn't you say?"  the location was in the middle of the forest.

"Uhm..yes he also ended the DM with the message "Please anyone save me.""  Enshou's interest was perked at this.

 

"He dares block my number and then has the audacity to cry for help.  I'll help you by snuffing you out underneath my boots Shijaku."  Enshou threw one of his pillows in the air and punched it, causing it to explode on impact.  The scene abruptly cuts to Oboro and Poe in front of a microphone,

 

"Good morning to all my LilyMu Loveys!  It's me, your host, Oboro and my best friend Poe."

"Caw!"

Enshou looked at his first captain with complete disgust.

"You dare turn that shitty radio show on IN THE MIDDLE OF MY SUBPLOT."  Enshou was enraged.  However, the jizz haired man said something that caught Enshou attention,

"Me and the crew are going to be LIVE in the Bungan Galaxy in the newly reconstructed planet of Burei!  Can't wait to see you guys there!"  The Jizz Head said before Enshou crushed his first captain's phone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2lGv8bVDKQ

"They really want to trample my home planet like this...the burn this villainous fire in me even more.  Those damn Renho thinking they can walk all over the bodies of my fallen men."  Enshou stepped outside of his motel room and stood next to a homeless man.  "What has the world done to me...fate can be cruel sometimes don't you agree?  Being as you are homeless...I too am homeless."  Enshou looked down at the man,

"Yeah, after being a hero and everything.  Now I'm just back on the streets."  Enshou ignored him and walked to the huge ship parked across the street.

"Come Captain, we've got a forest to attend."  Enshou beckoned the man to come with him as the two walked up the ramp of their ship.  Enshou gave the engine a good purr before it zoomed at near light speed, taking a mile of forest with it when it arrived.

"Th-this is the exact coordinates from his WPohne sir!"  Enshou nodded,

"Good, good.  I need a song to play in the background for this epic confrontation.  AUTHOR, FETCH ME SOMETHING!"  Enshou demanded from me as him and his first captain stepped off the ship.

 

"Stay alert sir...it's very dark."  the captain advised Enshou.  Enshou shrugged him off as he came closer to a smoke bellowing out of the night sky.

"This has to be the loser Shijaku, HE WILL ADD ME BACK ON WACEBOOK!"  Enshou started to full on sprint to the fire, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw his former friend sitting there,

"I figured you would be the one to find me.  Enshou, I swear I can never escape you.  First I try to ditch you, then all my friends and little brother exploded in a freak limo accident, and now I'm forced to live like a wildman."  Barkas was sitting on top of Jii who was cramped inside of a suitcase.  "Sometimes I still hear the cries of that old man."  Barkas put some sticks in the fire as it crackled.  He looked up at Enshou who was looking down on him,

"Your stupid sob story is nice and all, but I have a baby shower to attend to.  You'll have no choice but to surrender yourself to me and take me to the Renhos."  Shijaku stood up and stuck his hands out for the Captain to handcuff him.  "Well that was pretty easy...VICTORY IS MINE!  PHASE 1 IS COMPLETED!"  Enshou laughed maniacally into the empty, dark forest.

TBC

[Cha]

A few years ago Sakamoto had signed a contract with Darth Vader, a duck in charge of the Renho. Sakamoto thinking it was a peaceful exchange of pets for better Earth relations with Amantos. It was all a facade however. Mutsu was assigned to dispose some of them to Sakamoto’s friends despite her better judgement. The first two were to be sent out locally in Edo. They were stored in cargo bay, waiting to be released. 

-Is this your first invasion mission, officer?- The male one asked the female.

-No, I’ve been on several others before. I am a commander likewise.- She signed back.

-Huh, says here this is your first planet mission. Now I wanna know why the hell you lied to me, Ensign Fumiko.- He tossed down his work tablet. -Do you know how fast I can throw you out of this mission for something like that?- He pointed his flipper at her.

-I signed it because frankly Commander Eren, it’s ducks like you that really rub me the wrong way especially being trapped for days in here with them. Some overly serious and dreadful cherry boys.- Fumiko signed.

-What is a cherry boy?- Eren asked confused.

-Depends on the context, sometimes a virgin, sometimes a spinless officer. But in your case Commander, I’d probably say both.- She signed. 

Eren angrily blushed in embarassment inside his costume but kept his composure. He was gonna snap something back but then another duck waddled in their cargo space and poked his head between them both. The both of them looked confused.

-Who the hell is this?-  Eren asked. The other duck just waved. 

They finally arrived into the city and hovered over a river, Mutsu opened the door to her ship as a long haired man was sitting there in a boat waiting for a gift he was promised.

“Sakamoto-san got me a DUCKY?! OOHH IT’S BEAUTIFUL MUTSU-SAN!!” Katsura then looked behind Eren. “Wait.. TWO DUCKIES!?” He clutched his hair in disbelief. “AAAHH!”

Eren and the unnamed duck stepped into Katsura’s little boat, nearly destroying it from their weights.

-Hello I am your new pet.- Eren signed.

“IT CAN COMMUNICATE WITH ME?!” Katsura yelled too loudly. “How about you other ducky, can you use a fancy sign too?”

The duck just stood there doing nothing.

-I think my comrade here is a bit slower than I, or at least illiterate.- Eren commented. 

“Oooh I shall name you.. hmm.. MONDAY ELIZABETH! And you, ELIZABETH!” Katsura pointed to them both. “That is because it’s clear that Regular Elizabeth very much needs my help intellectually more than you do, so you are free to do whatever you like those other six days of the week, Monday Elizabeth.”

“They’re men in costumes...” Mutu’s face darkened, she then started walking away onto the boardwalk near by. “Come with me female ‘’’duck’’’, your new owner awaits as well.” 

Fumiko followed Mutsu for a while until they reached a part of Edo that was underground and much different from the rest, Yoshiwara. But when Mutsu had her back turned, Fumiko made a dash for it and ran back into Edo. Mutsu realized she ran away and shrugged, not really caring. 

“Last thing I need is for someone to call me their pet. You want to call a gorgeous redhead like me your pet in a grimey place like that you cherry boys are gonna have to pay everything out of your wallets.~” She scoffed inside her costume. 

Fumiko kept running until she reached a park and climbed up a tree towards the playground part. She made sure there were no other Renho around by having a better view from that high. She pulled out some wrapped food item from her suit but then spit it out. “Rotten. Figures.” Some kids came and looked up in awe.

“Mommy, there’s a giant duck lady in that tree..” One of them said, she friendly waved to them back but they got scared and ran away. She opened her beak and then sighed. She took a look at Earth’s skies, it was very bright that day and not a single cloud up there. It was the first time she had seen a bright colored sky, as she lived out in space her entire life.

“This is really all our species is huh. It’s peak. A bunch of fuckin’ spies and ruthless planet dominators forcing us against our wills to participate. Even the kids are running away from me, like I’m some kind of freak. Then again I am wearing this.” She shook her head and frustratedly threw off her costume down to the grass below. “Well you can cut this puppet out, I’m not doing squat shit for anyone anymore.” She suddenly heard another voice down below, 

“Mommy, the lady duck turned into a naked lady!” 

“Oops. She looked down at herself. 

Fumiko spent the next several months hanging around that park and area of Edo, wearing fake disguises or her regular self, getting to know the locals, mad chillin’ with fellow homeless Madaos, causing sadist mischief, dodging other Renho pet spies, telling some stories about the white devil loons to kids at the park. She eventually was down to only her duck costume and she rather been naked at that point (except she didn’t to be arrested for the 5th time that week for public indecency) than to wear it but decided to anyway for now until she got more stuff. It was on one particular day that she saw him again while she was working on something at the park. They locked eyes briefly and he stormed up to her.

-You? What are you doing here, Ensign?! Where’s your owner? All of us must have one!- Eren raved. She was crafting hand puppets for her latest children’s story show, ‘Renho Smucks Suck’. He signed a look of being appalled, Fumiko looked up at him.

“I can ask the same for you, loser. I thought you were some serious Commander and now look at you at a children’s park.” The sadist didn’t try to contain her laughter within her costume. Eren’s eyes on his costume became furious.

-You’re TALKING NOW?!- He signed.

“Come on Monday Elizabeth, enough socializing with the park pond duckies, I’m gonna take you to the arcade! They have tons of games that I’m sure you and I have never played!” Eren lit up at this. He turned his gaze to Katsura but then briefly back at Fumiko. He did a “I’m watching you” hand gesture to her. She scoffed.

“Have fun, gamer boy!” Fumiko blew a sarcastic kiss as Katsura and Eren left.

-What a full of it diva..- Eren signed to himself as Katsura grabbed his hand and was happily skipping.

Fumiko finished her project and begun to draw open then curtains on the little box. A single boy sat down, next to him his mother who was in a wheelchair.

“Miss Duck, what is this show about?” The boy asked.

“It’s all about a bunch of losers who want to destroy lovely children like you for no reason!” She got out a puppet that looked like Eren and crushed it with her other flipper.

“Woah, sounds like a thriller!” The boy smiled at his mom and she did as well.

“Seems like your pet duck is a lot more interesting then you thought it would be!” The mother said, Fumiko put down the puppets for a second. 

“Are you the one who requested me..?” Fumiko was surprised and scoffed. “And here I was thinking some oily lonely cherry boy called me to that red light district to amuse him.”

“Well when I saw an ad in the newspaper, I thought it was for a real duck. I wanted to give my boy Seita something to have, someone to ‘watch over him’ while Yoshiwara was in a dark time not that long ago. But I also have been known for the habit of bringing stray and loss women into my town.” Hinowa smiled, Fumiko was in a lost for words. 

This woman didn’t even know her that well and yet they were in similar situations. Both had been sold off from their people and forced to do whatever they wanted with them. Fumiko scratched the back of her head.

“Well, I don’t have exactly anything left to wear or eat. I don’t see why not. Sleeping in park trees and benches kills my aching glamorous back.” She commented, Hinowa just chuckled.

“Well it’s settled! Come on Seita, let’s go home and show Tsukki-chan your new pet!” Hinowa clapped her hands togther. 

Seita was a bit confused at her costume but shrugged and grabbed Fumiko’s flipper to walk off back to Yoshiwara where they met up with the ninja leader.

“Hinowa-sama, this is not a pet duck it’s a woman.” Tsukuyo said. In the background Fumiko was at lost of words spinning around and taking in all the dirty sights of the city before her.

“She is also lost and needing of a home, much like every woman here. Nothing else matters.” Hinowa smiled. 

“AAH! LOOK AT ALL THOSE TOYS IN THERE!~” Fumiko dashed into one of the adult stores, the manager there getting freaked out about a giant duck. “ALL TAKE THEM ALL! AHH~”

She came out with handfuls of pixelated items, stuffing some of them in her costume so she could scoop up more. Seita stood there not really phased since he lived in there.

“Fumiko-chan, if there’s anything you need. Just ask Tsukki! She like knows everything there is to know around here!” Seita smiled and pointed her. Fumiko opened her beak to take a better look.

“Woah, nice face scar. Where’d you get it from gal pal? I got mine on my lower body from when I was-“ Fumiko got cut off by Tsukuyo,

“I’ll show you where your room is.” She simply walked away. Fumiko followed, happily skipping with a trail of pixelated toys falling behind her.

 It was a few weeks later that the high of Fumiko finally having a steady home (and a lot of toys) was wearing a bit down. She was sitting slumped on the floor of the shop Seita was helping his mom work in.

“What’s the matter Fumi-chan?” Seita asked the woman. “I know what will cheer you up. He then held up a pixelated item from the sales rack. She shook her head. “Hmm. How about a puppet show?” He picked up one of them and smiled.

“Stay Socky!” The puppet said. 

Fumiko shook her head again, Seita somberly threw him in the trash. Hinowa then rolled over to where she sat.

“Fumi-chan, something is for sure the matter. Now tell us, what’s wrong?” She asked.

“I feel powerless.” Fumiko started. The other two looked puzzled. “I want become stronger, stronger to defend myself against my people but I’m just so uncapable you know? When people look at me all they see is just some drop dead gorgeous, sexy, fierce, glamour queen. But I’m more than that and I really don’t feel fierce inside at all. But I guess what I’m saying is silly.”

“I don’t think it’s silly at all.” Hinowa said. “I don’t know your people Fumiko, but if you truly want to become stronger enough to face your fears you’ve come to the right place.” She put her hand on her flipper, Fumiko smiled af the ground. “Isn’t that right, Tsukki? How about it? Why don’t you teach her some old tricks of yours?” 

Tsukuyo had been eavesdropping outside of the shop, she was a bit shocked to know the Courtesan of the Sun had knew. She just smoked her kiseru.

“Yoshiwara is a place of heaven for men and hell for women-“ Tsukuyo started.

“Baby doll, LIFE is a place of heaven for men and hell for women.” Fumiko snapped her flipper, Seitou also doing so in the background with his hand.

“I suppose so. But if you want to survive either, you’ll have to do exactly what any other woman here does under my guidance.” Tsukuyo added.

“Aah.~ I didn’t think you were into that kind of thing. Well TBC can always use more gay women.” Fumiko smirked and nudged Tsukuyo but she just started to walk away. “Wait wait! I got all my jokes out. Okay. I promise, I’ll do whatever it takes to become strong.”

Some weeks later, all seemed the about the same in Yoshiwara, at least at that moment. Two yato were casually walking the streets.

“Ha! I’m telling you old man. I own this place now. Things are gonna be good for now on.” The redhead one said.

“A place full of beautiful women and all your stupid asexual ass wants to do is fight a permhead samurai. Man I miss Halfster. Oops. Forgot that TBC isn’t until 300 million years after these events.” The older one spoke out.

“If you break the fourth wall again old man, I’m sending you through the skies of Yoshiwara and beyond to the current timeline.” Kamui smiled.

“Yare yare, the author isn’t gonna even write us in Wix Flags like she promised. Why can’t I break it. She was gonna have us fight the ghost of Jeremy in a creepy abandoned pirate ship ride.” Kamui proceeded to break the old man’s bones.

“SHE SKIPPED OUT ON WHAT?!” Kamui yelled at the top of his lungs. “If I didn’t just singlehandedly finish killing BIMMY or BOUSEN or whatever his name was I’d have her head-y.”

“But Samurai Gintoki mostly killed Hous-“ Abuto was launched into space by Kamui’s fist. He fell back to Earth and almost knocked over a drunk guest at a strip bar, giving a thumbs up and then fading out of the past as Kamui had promised.

“Did you hit me?!” The man asked the courtesan there.

“W-What? No!” She shook her head no but he grabbed her wrist in anger. 

There was a sudden rain of kunai in the man’s clothes that pinned him to the wall and almost hit him in the head. The redheaded Hyukka member spoke up.

“Hey cherry boy, when a woman tells you no she didn’t do something your hairy ass better believe her.” 

One of the Hyakka got out a boombox and hit go.

Fumiko put a kunai in her mouth and flung at the man right below his crotch. He stripped himself down to his underwear and then escaped, screaming. The Hyakka all gave manly high fives Fumiko and their leader, Tsukki. 

“Well, I’ve said for the millionth time to not do that trick, Fumiko but somehow it keeps working pretty well.” Tsukuyo put a hand on her hip even impressed a bit.

“I told you I was good with my mouth, Tsuk Tsuk.” Fumiko winked. 

Not that far in distance of them a permhead was literally dragging a long haired crossed dressed man with his duck. 

“I TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES GINTOKI I WANTED TO GO TO WHUCK E CHEESE’S NOT SOME SMUT TOWN!” Zurako yelled as Gintoki was grabbing him by his stylish kimono.

“And I didn’t want to go with some long haired doofus to a smut town but couples eat free bbq wings on Monday’s and you’re the only remotely close to a thing I have to a woman.” Gintoki shoved Zurako inside the strip club, Zura making angry noises all the while.

Tsukuyo’s eyes lit up at seeing this permhead here. Fumiko took notice and smirked.

“Huh, the silver haired cherry boy down there huh?” She evilly smiled.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Tsukki started making her way down the roof, the rest of the Hyakka following.

“Well do whatever your heart tells you Tsuk Tsuk, but just remember.” Fumiko climbed down to catch up to them. “All men want to do is just to have a peak of women’s fleshly pink parts.” They all landed the ground, Fumiko not realizing she landed on someone until the other girls pointed down to the floor. Fumiko looked down to see a super confused and flustered Eren. Her face darkened as did the other girls then they pulled out their kunais in their knuckles.

“AAAAAAHHHHH!” He screamed inside his suit as he was impaled by them.

Cut to a few hours later, Eren is laying in a bed in a room of Yoshiwara, his costume covered in bandages. He woke up and held his aching head.

-Where am I?- He signed. A few Hyakka were staring and glaring over him, he felt intimidated.

“You got some nerve duck. Trying to harass oue second in command like that!” One of them said.

-Wait a minute. You’re not talking about that other duck are you? Well that’s rich. How the hell did she wound up with you people?- Eren asked.

“Great new pet owner, huh Commander? He’s got a whole league of ninjas protecting him.” Fumiko covered her face inside her beak as she walked in, her subordinates greeting her. 

-Whatever. Just let me go please, I have to get back to my owner.- He tried to get up but winced in pain.

“I wouldn’t move too much for a while, you suffered quite the spill.” Fumiko made a little snicker, Eren even more annoyed than he previously was. Defeated, he just pulled out his gameboy. Fumiko and the girls proceeded to leave his room.

“I can’t believe we saved him.” One of the ninjas said to Fumiko. “After everything you told us about this joker too.”

“I know, I know. But it would be kind of fun to mess with him for a while since he’s stuck here. Right?” Fumiko evilly smiled the others doing likewise.

After a few nights of painful pranking at Eren’s expense, Fumiko thought she would pay him a visit.

“Hey dude can I come in?” Fumiko asked, her face still covered to him as always.

-I don’t see why not, just like the hundreds of other times you girls have.- He was gaming away on his device.

“Look Commander, even as a beautiful and flawless sadist I can tell we’re really pushing you over the edge.” She said and Eren just sighed. 

-I’m sure my owner won’t be looking for me until Monday rolls around again anyway. I didn’t have much to do until then.- 

“Besides stupid Renho spy work reports you mean?” She sat down near him, he suddenly put his device to the ground. 

-I haven’t done much of those in a while..- He signed. Fumiko looked a bit surprised but not sure if he could be trusted still.

“And why is that?” She asked. He set down his gameboy and turned his head towards her.

-Look at me. Playing video games, going to children’s parks. I’m not exactly the stone cold duck I use to be, Ensign. And the weirdest thing above all is.. I actually don’t mind. I feel like I’m going rogue. I don’t even know why the hell I’m telling you. Must be my damn splitting headache from being injured like hell.- 

She put a flipper on his head and smiled within her suit. 

“I think your head is just fine, for once.” She said and Eren looked up at her a bit taken back.

Two days later Eren waddled his way out of Yoshiwara, Fumiko and the Hyakka watching above from a rooftop.

“Good riddance, finally!” One of them exclaimed.

“I don’t know...I’d kind of like to mess with that cherry boy again sometime.” Fumiko opened her beak and grinned.

The next week came, Eren surprisingly returned back to the town and met up with Fumiko. She still concealed her face. Something about being a mystery to Eren and the thought of possibly slowly driving him mad for not knowing what she looked like delighted her. 

-Uhh I just came back because I forgot my gameboy and it’s my favorite, that is all, Ensign.-

“I’m so sure. You know Commander, you don’t have to have fun with your owner just on Monday’s. There’s a whole six other days out there for you to enjoy.” Fumiko stated and pointed to an arcade place across the street. His eyes lit up and nodded.

-I guess it couldn’t hurt, Ensign.- 

“On one condition.” She said and he signed a question mark. “Please let’s lose the formalities, Eren.” He held up his flipper to his beak to express a chuckle.

-Okay, Fumiko.- He signed.

 

Every week was the same after that, he’d meet up on a Tuesday hang out at Yoshiwara with Fumiko if she wasn’t busy doing ninja work or taking care of Seita and Eren would stay there until the end of Sunday. He started to anticipate even to see her, as she did likewise with him. As they got to spend more time together, his attitude softened as did his heart. It would flutter at the thought of being with her. Fumiko almost seemed distracted at work half of time in her mind. 

“She’s almost as lost in that samurai duck as you are with that samurai permhead, boss!” One of the ninjas said. 

“I-I don’t know what that means.” Shocked Tsukuyo just turned around to smoke and got crazy flustered.

Despite the Hyakka still hating Eren and wanting that bird roasted like a turkey, Fumiko wanted to do something special for him. The girls, Hinowa and Seita all stood outside the door where the two birds were.

“Come on, let Fumiko-chan do her job as a courtesan. You know she practically begged for a job like this.” Hinowa urged them all to keep moving on. Tsukuyo stood in the corner with her kiseru, she sighed before smiling and walking away as well.

“So what do you think they’ll do in there? ..I mean they’re kind of ducks.” One of the Hyakka said as they were walking.

“Just peck on each other with their beaks or something?.” Another said. 

“How... was that, cherry boy? Not bad for a duck’s first courtesan gig.“ She huffed.

“...I-I just lost the cherry part.”’ Eren said completely red in the face. Fumiko was genuinely surprised that he had actually been one. She snickered and put her hands behind her head.

“You know you’re a lot cuter and more buff than I expected you to be. I really like the scruffy beard too. Much better than some stupid bird costume. Don’t you think?” Fumiko turned to him and softly rubbed his facial hair, causing chills up his spine. He sunk lower in the bed, cuddling into her as the little spoon, pressing up against her body.

“Y-You’re a lot cuter than I thought you would be too, Fumiko. I’ve always really like redheads and your digital graphics look spot on, shit. I mean big boobs, shit. I mean sparkling violet colored eyes. Well I meant big boobs too.” Eren stumbled, she just chuckled. She then looked a bit depressed and spooned him tighter.

“Eren, I can’t do this anymore. This hidden life. I want you to really consider that too because I really love you.” She buried her head in his shoulder.

“I can’t, Fumiko.” He simply replied. She let go of him and sat up in the bed, he missed her touch.

“You’ve really changed this past year, no way in hell you’re gonna tell me you still have a duty to the Renho’s spying.” She said a bit annoyed and frustrated.

“Yes I do. No, not in a spying for their benefit way but in a way we’ll be able to crush them from the inside. But I don’t know how yet so I have to keep pretending to be a pet in the meantime. And there’s also that man, my pet owner, Katsura. I can’t exactly leave him anymore, I’ve grown so attached to him, I didn’t think I would but.” Eren said.

Fumiko suddenly got up from the bed and started to get dressed. She headed for the door, Eren was about to get up to stop her but she turned her head around to face him,

“Well I feel like I have zero duty to those monsters who ruined my life. I want freedom too, but I’m not gonna sit around and wait for it. Tomorrow I’m leaving this all behind. My costume, the people here, everything. I already told them I needed to find myself.. I really hope that one day you abandon your costume too, Eren. I rather enjoy seeing that shaggy beard of yours.”

“P-Princess.. I love you.” He looked at her with tears, she had some herself but closed the door behind her.

The next early morning came, Eren had spent the rest of the night in that room alone. He was back in his costume and outside watching from a corner as Fumiko hugged her owners to part from them. He wish he could be apart of that, but he know he couldn’t step over boundaries after last night. Suddenly Katsura zoomed up behind him, nearly giving Eren a heart attack.

“There you are Monday Elizabeth! I had to catch a Wuber this morning to find you here at this gentlemen’s town for some reason. Look! I got TWO tickets to Mexican Wamily Feud this morning! I hope the host goes UN AUTOOOOO.” Katsura quoted it very excitedly and kept babbling as Eren watched her drifting away into the distance of the amber colors of the sunrise, his heart massively dropping. He would not see his lover again until the events of the Renho arc.

—————-

“Bullseye.” 

“Sir, we found a child aboard.” Enshou’s first captain held him up as he was squirming about.

“Great work Captain Sweetcheeks, you never let me down.” Enshou gave his ass a nice firm slap and Captain Fred Sweetcheeks blushed,

“Ahaha, sir you compliment me so. If you weren’t Enshousexual I swear.” He smiled.

“I’m not a child, I’m just adorably small!” Hata protested. 

“Aah, Prince Hata of Oukoku. What brings you aboard my ship?” Enshou got down to his level.

“I was looking for firewood for me and Soyo-chan’s worship altar to Bansai for him to save us when I saw YOU and those other braided hair freaks stealing my big brother!” Hata exclaimed.

“Shall I throw him out the airlock, sir?” Captain Sweetcheeks asked.

“No, he‘s absolutely perfect for what I have planned ahead. Throw him in the cargo bay until further notice.” Enshou smiled. “This shall be more glorious than the time my funny yellow dog picture went to the front page.” The captain started carrying off the little squirt again. 

“I heard you and your men earlier! Barky and I would rather die than be apart of some evil planet takeover!” Hata yelled out over the man’s shoulder. “And you’re too old for zoomer memes!”

“That’s funny, I don’t remember Theodore telling me that I was.” Enshou devilishly smirked and Hata made a big gasp.

“NOOOOOO!” He disappeared into the hallway.

Captain Sweetcheeks tossed Hata into the carbo room and his squishy body made a squeaky toy sound on impact. 

“So do you and that prince..?” Hata pointed his two pointer fingers together, Sweetcheeks just made a little smirk and closed the heavy door. 

“Your Majesty, what shall we do with this empty bit of screen time.” Another subordinate asked him, Enshou pulled out a rubber band from his pocket and flung it at the man’s face. The man nodded and walked away with a red mark on his forehead. Captain Sweetcheeks returned to Enshou’s mancave and bowed.

“I must inform too sir, that Shijaku has called you to his quarters.” He said.

“Great job Sweetcheeks, I swear I’d give you a promotion if you weren’t already the highest man in my government.” Enshou laughed to himself.

“Oh you! Being with you is promotion enough my prince. And you already gave me one last week.” The captain said and Enshou smirked for what he was about to do next. He walked down the hallway to Barkas’s secluded cabin and opened the knob. 

“Excellent. Time for... Phase 2.” 

———————————-

 

“WHO GOES THERE?!” 

“I-IT’S JOSH! I brought more cans of beer like you threatened me to do!” Josh held his hands up with the cans. Billy lowered his gun and Josh set them down easily on the motel room nightstand.

“Oh yeah.. Joshy. Pop a squat! Your favorite overlord of the underground just rolled out the School of Rock, some W&M’s in some popcorn. Tonight we feast like kings.” Billy macked down on his treat, Josh just sat at the end of his bed now.

“Look.. Billy...” Josh was stringing for some possible words to use to not upset this wildcard man he had been stuck with. “The last day has been really fun, abeit more risky than I’m use to..but I’m surprised I actually enjoyed myself! I really need to be heading back to my campus before I get flunked out of every class though. You’re welcome to stay outside of the comic book still for now, I don’t know exactly what to do with it until I contact my cousins about the mix up.”

Billy put his bowl of fancy corn down on the bed and the TV on mute.

“Josh. I don’t know if anyone told you but we’re on the lam. We took an oath right there back in Ceaser’s. With what happened last night we can never go back to our normal lives. Do you HEAR me?”

“It wouldnt be possible to say that coffee order backwards to put you back into the comic, right?” Josh said a bit nervously. Billy used his supernatural powers to make Josh slap himself with his own hand and resumed his Jack Black classic.

“Uhhh I also had to ask this guy from my class to room with us.” Josh nervously played with his fingers.

“You’re not serious. Didn’t I just tell you we have to avoid contact with anyone while we’re hiding out?” Billy said.

“Look man, it’s either that or being thrown on the streets to the authorities! We’re getting low  on dough so I’m thinking about us both!” Josh said very upset. “Uhhh anyway I think he’s here at the door, his name is Dylan.”

Josh got up and let the person in. Josh making sure the door was quickly shut behind him to make sure no one else saw them.

“And as I looked into this creepy two star motel, an eerie set of hidden stains were placed in this dark lit room. It gave me a pretty creepy vibe as I entered in with my snuggly pillow.” Dylan placed his pillow on the left side of Josh’s bed and stood in front of Billy.

“Why the hell does he talk like he’s not here? Like he’s like above us in some other reality? And what the fuck is with that voice?” Billy was getting even more annoyed.

“Dude, what is wrong with you? Are you that on the edge from hiding out? Also I like Dylan, we have lunch together. You’re just gonna have to make do with him here.” Josh went to sit on the other bed and started untying his shoes.

“Well maybe I wouldn’t be so on the edge if Gedo or Headster didn’t spoil the ending of Wchool of Rock five minutes ago on our PARTY WISCORD!” Billy threw his phone to the wall and it shattered but on impact it burned to a crisp from his underworldly powers.

“It’s obvious that there was some kind of hidden spirit in this room. If you look in the corner at approximately a millisecond the phone hit the wall and burst into flames.” Dylan commented.

“Ya kid. You know I’m literally what you humans refer to as Satan right. Like Gedo gave me that nickname a couple of millions of years ago and I was like ya, sure little snot.” Billy aggressively flipped the channel to find something else on.

“B-Billy’s just joking you know! My friend Billy. Big jokester!” Josh nervously smiled.

“No...I believe you.” Dylan said, the other two looked a bit surprised, especially Josh. “Based off the alley’s location of this Motel and the time of the year, October, I had came to the conclusion this was a powerful spirit of the greatest dark energy.”

“Huh, well whatta know. Kid knows respects his 8 billion year old elders.” Billy put his arms behind his back in bed, finally mellowed again. He offered Dylan some of his sweet corn and a beer but the strange kid just stood there.

“It was likely this creature was agreeing with me because of its unusual beard style. It was enough to make this person want to mutilate his eyes out of his skull.” Billy peered away from his eyes glued on the television set.

“..The hell you just say? Do you know how long I worked on that beard for a gag picture?” Billy asked and Josh’s expression turned into regret. Dylan just looked blank face into the camera.

“The ugly bearded creature seemed to be hostile, even dangerous. The name tag especially was the stupidest and most chintzy thing this person here has ever seen.” Dylan stated and then Billy got up and grabbed him by the scruff of his 300 dollar merch store shirt.

“DON’T INSULT ME IN THIRD PERSON LIKE I DON’T MATTER! SAY IT TO MY FACE! SAY IT TO MY FUCKING FACE FOOT LETTUCE!” Billy was spitting on his face as he was yelling and shook the kid and his $800 merch hat fell off.

Josh held his head and just crawled under the questionably washed sheets of his dirty motel bed. He then unzipped his backpack and checked on the comic book. As what was the usual, the book was physically writing itself along with illustrations. Josh could see what appeared to be some kind of party with several ducks. He then doggy eared the tip of it to remember the next time where he left off.

“OW!” Billy fell to the floor in pain and grabbed his stomach.

“Wait. Did folding the page a little.. hurt you..?” Josh slowly said shocked.

“Course imbecile.” Billy then covered Dylan’s ears. “I am from that book remember? I’m basically made of paper.”

“Dylan could tell they were talking from their lips moving, but he could only hear mmrrmrmrmrmrhs.” Dylan said.

“You have to be super duper careful Josh, that thing is more delicate than it looks. Why do you think your cousins keep me and the rest up there on a dusty shelf? I’m surprised you had it in that bag of yours for so long without me or anyone else dying from being stabbed by a pencil, crushed by some school books or suffocated from a lack of air.” Josh made a big gulp. Billy left Dylan and sat next to Josh in his bed to take a look. 

“The hell is this..?” Billy was staring at the next subplot writing itself. 

————————————
“WHAT THE FUCK?!?” Barkas flipped over to the other side of the bed and fell off.

“Oh huh, I must have gotten the wrong vibe from that message you sent. Enshou put his clothes back on and Barkas slowly got up from the other side of the bed, making sure the man was fully clothed this time. Barkas would never bring this incident up again in his mind again, for his own mental sanity. “Whatever you asked me here for Shijaku. I’m sure you know at this point communication with your little friends down in the woods and the Renho is futile. We noticed you tried to. You even attempt it again Shijaku and I’ll have all of Oukoku AND Edo raided and blown up by my army.”

“Enshou why are you doing this... we banded together all those years ago to STOP planets from destroying each other. We created the most harmonious alliance in this corner of the universe, the Liberation Alliance Army. Look at you. Is your hate that great for me?”

Enshou looked down and opened his locket. Behind his fake wife photo and Bob Barker restraining order he had another photo, it was of him and his best friend opening up their space station of peace for the first time. 

“You’ll never understand Shijaku. You’ll never understand being betrayed by everyone who you once called friends. You’ll never understand your world being destroyed, no you always had a comfy space in your comfy no-Altana containing planet. Not everyone is as lucky as you were.”

“I guess you’re right Enshou. I’ve had plenty of my own demons but I never had to worry about my entire species being homeless, being massacred by the Tendoshu. You have every single right to be angry at the them, angry at the universe.” Enshou looked up at this, surprised. “But why bring up Burei right now?” 

The redheaded prince then made an irritated sigh and turned away from him.

“You really don’t know do you, Shij?” Barkas then raised an eyebrow. “Those damn white devil..., took over Burei, the home of my slaughtered race.” Barkas was genuinely shocked.

“I’m sure they had a good reason. They don’t seem like a hostile people to just go ahead and do something like that to you and your people, Enshou.” Barkas tried to reason with him but Enshou didn’t bend.

“You don’t know these people, Shijaku. I’ve done some research on them. The nickname White Devils? Turns out they’ve been known for invading planets generations before even you and I were born.” Enshou started to walk towards the door to leave.

“No.. Not Eren. I can’t see him doing something like that. He was homeless once just like you were. Enshou, you have to talk to him, you have to-“ In a flash, Enshou grabbed Barkas by his throat and begun strangling him.

“Don’t make me hurt you further.”  

Enshou tossed him on the ground. “We arrive to Burei in 20 minutes.” He slammed the door behind him, Barkas was hacking it up.

————————
“Alright super cherry boy didn’t show, let’s get this show on the road!” Fumiko pulled out a bunch of censored items from her hands and beak. Everyone sat in a big circle on the rug of the living room office included in the circle were some random ducks and the terrorist/Kaientai extras.

“NO, WE’RE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN!” Shinpachi yelled. Eren got up and held the basket of eggs next to his wife.

“Aw Princess, if only our little ducklings could see their mommy now.” He gave his wife nose nuzzles.

“NO, INFANTS SHOULDN’T SEE THIS!” Shinpachi barked.

“Who’s first to gift? Step on up, my expecting Princess isn’t getting any cuter. That would be impossible!” Eren gushed and Fumiko winked with her suit’s eye. Gintoki sat there with a dead fish eye faced.

“Decorating this party was gift enough. Do you know how much money I put into it.” Gintoki was stabbed in the face by Shinsuke’s katana. 

Suddenly Zura pushed everyone from the circle’s crowd away and slammed down a gift in front of Fumiko. 

“OPEN ME AND SHINNY’S GIFT FOR OUR DAUGHTER-IN-LAW AND MY GRANDCHILDREN!” He yelled. Fumiko unwrapped the item.

“Awww, a mommy breast pump! I needed one of these! Thanks mom-in-law! I should get right to work on this.” Fumiko held up the item next to her chest to examine its size.

“Zura I love you so much right now.” Gintoki had Eren’s gameboy thrown at the spot on his stupid face where Shinsuke had impaled him. 

“Ahahaha! Open mine and Mutsu’s!” Sakamoto laughed. Fumiko pulled out just a note from the box. 

“Uhh, this just says please kill my captain.” Fumiko said. Mutsu made a little nod at her.

Tsukuyo was the only person up in the background, swaying with a mostly empty bottle.

“Oi drunkard, get over here. You’re alcoholic breath is stinking up the place.” Gintoki was slammed in the same place where Shinsuke and Eren had hit him by the bottle and it shattered all over him. Fumiko turned around and stood up. 

“Tsuk Tsuk..?” She gasped. “What are you doing here?”

“Fumiko-chan you know Tsukki?” Kagura grinned. 

Fumiko walked up Tsukuyo as she was still swaying and hiccuping. Fumiko gave her a big bird hug, something Tsukki didn’t really mind, at least when that shitfaced.

“Of course, I was Seita-kun’s pet duck and Tsuk Tsuk’s right hand ninja!” The others except Eren looked quite surprised.

The Hyakka dropped out of nowhere from the ceiling and slapped the alcohol straight out of their boss. 

“Thank you. Fumiko, when Hinowa-sama found out you were living here she wanted me to come and check up on you. But I see the situation is much more drastic than we thought. That deadbeat over there knocked you up?” Tsukuyo said rather seriously as always, Fumiko just chuckled. 

“Some deadbeat knocked MY wife up?! I’LL KILL HIM!” Eren rage dropped his gaming device and then looked up at them, their faces all darkened.

 

“O-Oh you meant me... H-Hey Tsukki! Hey Hyakka gals! Long time no s-“ Eren tried walking over to them but was met with a rain of kuani that traced his outline, he yelped.

“Which ball should we chop off first, boss?” One of them put a kuani to his neck, the other held up a wooden spear to his crotch. Another few held up a sign.

He made whimpers and sweated.

“EHHH?! C-Come on, I love my princess! This is ridiculo-“ A kuani flew into his ass and it spurted out a fountain of blood. “AAAHH! WAIT IF YOU KILL ME MY KIDS WON’T HAVE A FATHER!!” Eren screamed out.

“Woah, a chick owned another chick? That’s kind of ho-“ Gintoki’s own ass was impaled by all of them, including Tsukki and Fumiko. Shinpachi rolled his eyes.

“I’m sorry I never told you about my new life here, Tsuk Tsuk. I thought you and the others wouldn’t want to see me after I just got up and left.” Fumiko looked to the ground somberly with her fabulous makeup face. The Hyakka put their hands on her shoulder after stabbing Eren’s ass more and tying up him to the floor.

“Women are free to come and go as they please in Yoshiwara. You don’t need to apologize, Fumiko.“ Fumiko hugged her again, surprising Tsukki. The other ninjas joined in and smiled. “There’s also somebody else who wants to say hi.” Tsukuyo pulled out her WaceTime app, Fumiko made a big gasp.

“Seita-kun! Hinowa-sama!” She exclaimed. 

“Hi Fumiko-chan! Congratulations! We hope to see you visit us sometime soon!” Seita said. Fumiko smiled big and nodded.

“Well I say this reunion calls for some celebratory tunes!” Bansai quickly got up to sprint to the stage but Shinsuke tripped him and he fell. Bansai gave him a dirty look and resumed walking. 

 

Everyone got up and started to mingle, talk amongst themselves and dance. Fumiko was swinging Tsukuyo around while Seita and Hinowa joyfully watched from the phone, the Hyakka, Kaientai, terrorist and duck subordinates all danced with each other, the Jouis were having some kind of heated banter conversation by the window that lead to Gintoki and Shinsuke about to throw Sakamoto out said window, Kagura was downing all the sandwiches there as Shinpachi barked at her, Eren was sitting on his eggs playing games and Mutsu was standing in a corner all alone. A duck offered her for a dance but she declined and sighed. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t even have considered the possibility..” She looked in the distance at her love, he was sharing a drink and laughing with his friends. 

Bansai caught a glimpse of this from the way front and started whispering to his band. They changed songs midway in one, causing a brief confusion amongst the crowd. Skele looked up at Bansai and the guitarist gave him a wink. The bag of bones started to nervously sweat and froze, but Bansai spoke up.

“This next one is for Skele, he wanted a love song to you, Mutsu!” 

Mutsu’s pupils shrunk. The crowd aparted, Mutsu and Skele faced each other on each sides.

“Go get ‘em kid.” Shinsuke slapped him on his boney back. Rattling Skele stared at his other four friends, they smiled and nodded. 

The both of them started walking slowly towards the other, their gazes fixed on each other. They finally met and stood there for a brief moment just staring at each other. 

“W-Would you care to dance, Mutsu? 

Mutsu flushed harder, she rose her shaking arm, Skele likewise. They aimed their hands for each other.

Their fingers almost touched but suddenly several security ducks burst into the room through the front doors, Eren and Fumiko snapped their attention to them along with everyone else. 

“Mr. President! First Lady! There’s a grave threat invading this planet! It’s Prince En-“

The ducks stopped talking as if they were frozen by time. Suddenly their bodies split apart in their middles and spewed out blood. Behind their drained bodies was a man holding two laser beams and his army. The music stopped and several people there started to scream where they stood.

“Sorry to be fashionably late, I just couldn’t seem to find address at first for some reason.”

Everyone stood there confused now. Enshou slapped Sweekcheeks across the face and he changed the boombox to something more serious.

Enshou flung into the room with his shimmering two sided beam saber, the impact of its heat leaving a smoking hole in the floor. More of Enshou’s men flood the room, people were running and screaming out of the way. Enshou and his army managed to easily swipe down some of the extras in a bloody mess. 

“Hey Mickey, do you hear something coming from the other room?” Saitama asked while they were still playing games. The lieutenant just shrugged and they continued.

In all this craze, Eren quickly put his eggs inside his costume and closed his face in his beak, he then ran up to his wife, the Hyakka, Jouis and the others were around each other. Shinsuke, Katsura and EF threw smoke bombs, blinding the room and Enshou with thick fog. This allowed the room to clear out as Enshou and the rest were trying to regain composure. When the smoke had cleared there only remained Eren. Enshou smirked he nudged his men to move out into the house to find the others and then whistled out to Sweetcheeks to bring out the two special hostages. Sweetcheeks threw them on the floor, they were tied up by the waist and hands.

“I mean, I already killed some of your men anyway, Mr. President. And blew up all your ships! Remember that?! Crazy...” Enshou had a really dark look on his face now. The man walked over to Eren, dragging his lasers into the floor as he did and left trails of seared marble. “That me blowing them up started this whole butterfly effect of you white devils invading my home world. Kind of ironic really in an excruciating painful fucking way..” He then made a gruesome smile. “But enough nostalgia, these two friends of yours here are pretty big fish. If I kill them on this planet I’m sure all Oukoku will be knocking on your front door and joining me on my cause to eradicate you unwanted trepassers.” Sweetcheeks kicked Barkas and Hata’s heads to the ground, causing the latter especially to whimper in pain. The duck’s tightened his fists with fury at this action. “Now face me, Mr. President. Like a man.” He opened Eren’s beak.

 

“Hey little stink face remember me?” Elizabeth with a mighty blast of his antenna to Enshou’s face, caused him to fly across the room and into a hole in the wall.

“Woo! I haven’t heard this song since I won homecoming.” Elizabeth did a little touchdown dance. Barkas and Hata grinned wide from where they were held up at and yelled out, 

“Drag!”

“Draggy!” 

Enshou just sat there in awe. Elizabeth then put his beak back over his real face and antenna. He pulled out his samurai katana out of his costume.

“Prince Dragonia... The coolest prince of the Bungan galaxy.. H-How... What are you doing as a Renho? I thought you were dead.. No matter.” He got up and brushed himself off. Enshou reactivated his laser swords.

-Didn’t you literally ask Barkas in the last arc if I was a duck- nevermind.- Elizabeth readied himself.

Enshou swiped down the deadly blazing swords at him, but Elizabeth had moved out of the way in time as it bounced off all rooms of the living room office, causing it to sear. He didn’t know how he could compete with weapons that could melt off skin but didn’t have time to think.

“First everyone on your home planet thinks you’re dead, now you’re one of these duck people? How’d that happen?” Enshou smirked knowing how quickly this little ‘fight’ would probably would end.

Elizabeth stood there, ready to pounce again if Enshou should try to light up the room again. 

-Doesn’t matter really.- Elizabeth got an idea as Enshou was running up to him. -Let’s talk about you, little snot bubble. Still playing dirty tricks I see? That makes too of us.-

He threw down his sword, opened his beak, pulled the the top part of a grenade with his real mouth and launched at Enshou. Enshou dodged and kicked it into the windows, causing shards of glass to splatter everywhere on the room. This distraction as the both of them were covering their faces from the sharp debris, allowed Elizabeth to kick one of the sabers out of Enshou’s hand. Elizabeth dove for it but he then noticed the other saber behind him drove right between his legs and into his costume. 

”Taking quite the risks for a mere mascot character, duck.” Enshou smiled.

-I’d say your look alone is risk enough, long ass chin!- Elizabeth hit him in the head with his sign as he got up and away, tearing the very bottom of his suit. Elizabeth snatched up the laser finally as Enshou had a millisecond later swung his own sword at him and their lasers clashed. -See! Now this is fair! I could’ve swamped your ass if I had one of these back in the day!- Elizabeth put his sign into his mouth and then clung onto the sign with both his flippers.

Enshou looked behind him as his guards started talking amongst themselves at the bird’s words. Their swords were still clashed together, both men grinding their teeth from the pressure and sweating from the pure heat of the blades.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never met you before in my life.” Enshou commented. 
 
-Oh, come on, you were the best nine year old insulter there at our old men’s Bungan Alliance meetings when we had to be dragged there. Our pops were practically best friends. Don’t tell me you don’t remember your bully, pipsqueak?-

“L-like I said, I have no idea what you’re talking about, white devil.” Enshou shook his head.

Their hands gave out and both drew their blades back for a second. They then begun clashing them at each other again as Enshou spoke out again.

“I have no real backstories, I’m the king of lying and manipulation. Nothing I say is real, ever.” Enshou swung another one at the duck, hitting the side of his beak, causing it to smoke.

“HAH!” Elizabeth just made a big laugh inside his costume, it sent a chill up Enshou’s spine of memories. As he was distracted reflecting, Elizabeth managed to swipe his braids, cutting them off. Enshou regained his composure from this jolt and took more swipes. -Prince Enshou, you were always a little pyschotic kid but a cute kid. Even during the brief times we came into contact. Huh, starting to remember all of this. I guess left over amnesia that I didn’t know I still had must be wearing off.- 

“I still have no idea what you mean you overgrown turkey bastard..” Enshou climbed up a sofa to get a better angle as Elizabeth met him with more swings.

-Haha, you use to get so mad!-

“Be quiet...”

-Remember when your daddy had to carry you out in front of all the other world leaders because you were throwing a royal tantrum after biting some guy’s fingers off?!-

At these words, a fire of rage broke out in his Enshou’s eyes, the likes Barkas hadn’t see before. He jumped off the couch and they were raining their swords at each other, causing a blinding white light to the other princes and guards there.

“You will pay for your slander, DUCK!”

-Too bad your insults have gotten much worse since you were the size of a booger!-

“MASSIVE ANTENNA FREAK!” 

-Prince Twig Eyebrows!-

“YOU AND YOUR 80’S MUSIC WILL DROP DOWN TO ME!”

-Girl from Wendy’s Hair!- 

“ALL OF OUKOKU WILL HEAR YOUR CRYS OF PAIN PRINCE!”

“How’s Big-Big Brother managing to rile up so much rage in one person, Big Brother?” Hata asked.

“Because he’s Drag.” Barkas spoke in a monotone.

-And my favorite, baby redhead stinky booger face!- Enshou suddenly dropped to the floor, lasers still in his hands.

“No... not baby redhead stinky booger face... Prince Dragonia, you were the meanest nineteen year old I ever met. Last time we came into contact I vowed to become a greater prankster than even you.” He looked at the ground but then smiled. “But... Everyone knows A-ha is only good for their one hit wonder after flopping their second single.”

Elizabeth suddenly fell to the floor in tears.

-AAAHH NOOOO YOU TAKE THAT BACK! THE SUN ALWAYS SHINES ON TV IS A CLASSIC! IN FACT, IT’S ONE OF THE AUTHOR’S FAVORITES!- Elizabeth blubbered and sobbed.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS FIGHT ANYMORE?!“ Barkas yelled. 

 Enshou used this opportunity to take a hold of the other sword from the ground. He completely seared off half of his costume’s face and even burning off some of his skin. Elizabeth held onto his aching cheek, his little brothers looking on with horror.

“DRAG!”

“DRAGGY!”

“I’m not surprised you would fall so easily, King Dragonia. Shoving off all your kingly responsibilities to your younger siblings so you can play terrorist in a bird suit. Something tells me you were better off dying in that trench you fell into all those years ago.” These words caused a great firey passion inside Elizabeth.

-I’m neither royalty nor Renho...- He slowly stood up despite knowing Enshou could easily kill him at any time. -I am ELIZABETH AND DRAGONIA! PROTECTOR OF BOTH MY FAMILIES OF THESE NAMES!-

He hit Enshou once more with his antenna driving him into the ground and dropping his swords. Before Enshou could catch them, Elizabeth grabbed a hold of two of his fingers. He put them inside some kind of device.

“No...”

-Yes.-

“NOOO!”

-YES! THE INESCAPABLE CHINESE FINGER TRAP, YOU FELL FOR THE GREATEST PRANK OF THEM ALL BABY REDHEAD STINKY BOOGER FACE!- Elizabeth then pushed the fingers together, binding them.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Enshou lifted his head into the sky with his conjoined hands.

“I wanna be fucking killed off this arc already..” Barkas held his face.

Elizabeth held up both the swords now and pointed them to the guards to leave and release his siblings and they did so. They ran up and hugged him but then heard the click of gun behind them. Enshou looked at the person holding a AK-47 and smiled.

”Let’s end this quick and quietly.” Captain Sweetcheeks commented. 

The brothers held onto each other for the shot and heard it go off. But they looked at each other and noticed no holes on them. They turned around to the Captain, his ankle had been shot and he fell to the floor, revealing another man behind him.

“Get.. me home... so I can have my fucking smokes..” Jii uttered still pointing his gun.

-OLD MAN!- The three princes happily tackled the old man nearly breaking his hip.

“GET YOUR LITTLE SHIT HANDS OFF ME.” Jii punched them off him and they had welts swell on top of their royal noggins.

-Boy am I glad to see your dusty green bones for once. Wait, were’d those two go.- Elizabeth turned his head behind him as did the others.

“NICE GOING OLD MAN!” Hata yelled at Jii.

Back with the others, they were running through the hallways, swiping down any of Enshou’s men in their ways. Suddenly Oboro swung open a door.

“Quick! No one cares about the radio anymore so they wouldn’t bother check in here!” He urged them all inside his recording booth room with the other Lilymuers and Ozu.

“H-HEY! WHAT’S WITH ALL THE PEOPLE! DON’T TOUCH RAJ’S SPECIAL PODCAST MIC!” Raj clung onto his stupid desk to defend it.

“Eren-san. What does that Enshou-san guy want with this planet? Why is he doing this?” Shinpachi asked. Eren was holding his wife with their eggs on the floor and just displayed a look of uncertainty.

“Uhh, I might be able to answer that with my 23 all knowing universe knowledge..” Oboro said sheepishly and put a hand on his neck. Gin, Zura, Skele and Shinsuke look at him with mutual disgust. “You see this planet use to be the remains of his home planet, Burei.” Eren’s eyes went wide.

“No.. that can’t be possible. How couldn’t we have known? This is terrible.. I can’t believe the White Devils have once again conquered someone else’s home. And after how far we’ve tried to come from that dark past.” Eren had a look of deep regret. His wife pet the top of his head and pecked him on the cheek.

“Oi, so you made a minor miscalculation, Pres. Look at that guy out there though, I think he’s about to do more damage than anyone here could right now.” Gintoki tried to reassure him. 

Eren had his head to the floor and just nodded. Fumiko suddenly got up and peeked outside the door, her husband got up to see what room she was looking at that they had both spent the last few weeks preparing.

Eren held her as she buried her face in his chest and bawled. The others behind them displayed looks of sorrow or helplessness. The president had a serious look on his face and spoke out as such.

“Fumiko, I want you and our babies to leave this planet.” She looked up at him and wiped some tears.

“But I can’t just leave you here alone Ery.. I-I could definitely help out. I can’t abandon-“

“Princess, we have been separated for so many damn times for ridiculous reasons that didn’t need to exist.” Eren shook his head trying to hold back his own tears. “This time will be the last. And I promise, no harm will come to that room ever as long as I, your husband am alive. Take care of our eggs, your new order, Ensign.”

They walked over back to the basket and held it up together.

“You were always a lousy Commander.. And even lousier as a General and President.” Fumiko somberly smiled.

She softly kissed him, the basket of eggs between their parents bodies. They felt them move a little bit and smiled with tears now rolling down their faces. Eren kept hugging her until he turned to Tsukuyo and put a flipper on her shoulder.

“Please take care of my wife and children.” Eren requested.

“Of course.” Tsukuyo made a little smile and the other Hyakka nodded. 

“Take her to Wix Flags maybe, that’s our favorite place in the world.” Eren suggested, his wife smiled.

“Oi I’d watch out Tsukki, I got a text from my idiot big brother that he was gonna be there. Kill him if you have to!” Kagura called out.

“Don’t murder Kamui-san when he’s finally not a bad guy!!” Shinpachi yelled out.

Tsukuyo and the girls looked sick at the thought of having to see their owner again and having to give him a gallon’s worth of Slurpee every time he visits. They began opening up a hatch to a vent system in the wall and climbed up into it. Fumiko took a long look at her husband and then Gintoki, Katsura and the others before she left, they all gave her warm smiles.

Oboro peeked outside and Poe then flew on his shoulder to see what his best friend was looking at. He could see what appeared to be Enshou with his fingers in something being piggyback away by Captain Sweetcheeks with a bleeding lower leg. He was struggling but determined to please his prince.

“Onward Captain, we shall find that trail of misfits soon enough.” He said.

“Yes sir!” Sweetcheeks replied.

Oboro and Poe gasped and lightly closed the door. Oboro held his bad eye and Poe gave him a concerned c’aww. Their reactions weren’t for Enshou but the other man.

“Captain.. oh my Captain..” Oboro had tears rolling down his cheeks and saluted the hero. As did Poe.

“What are you doing giving us AWAY?!” Gintoki said and him, Shinsuke and Zura punched the bird man’s head to the ground.

—————
“Hata..? Hata!” Soyo called out in the woods alone. She had ventured from Yamazaki and Gonard to find her best friend. “You better not be off loving Bansai more than I do!” She then stared at the massive thing in front of her.

“Oh giant sculpted idol of Bansai, if you were really here you would know how to save me and everyone else.” She suddenly heard some weird noise coming from her pocket, it was her transceiver. The princess gasped as she forgot about it until now. “Hello?.. Hello! Are you there?”

A voice finally answered her back a some seconds later.

“Yeah, I’m always here. I kind of live here you know.” It said.

“Listen, you gotta help. Big brother and the others are missing in the woods.” Soyo spoke into it. “I don’t know what to do. I also feel like something really bad is happening outside of Edo. You’re the only one now who can come save us and find out what’s happening else where.” 

“Are you officially putting me in charge, Soyo-chan? Despite knowing the very limited conditions I’m living in?” The man asked.

“Yes! Please, I need you. Big brother needs you...Edo needs you.” Soyo told him.

“Well, I kind of wanted to take the arc off, but it’s time for me to saddle up....

 

 

 

I reckon.”

Suddenly Nobu’s theme and face was slapped by two white coats.

“Shut up prisoner #1678, you don’t get a theme song.” The shorter one said.

TBC

[Aya♥]

"Fumiko, it's ok!  We're almost back to Edo."  Tsuki was re-assuring her former right hand woman.  The two, the eggs, and the rest of the Hyakka women were flying their escape ship back to Edo.  The trip didn't take long, before Edo was in sight.  Fumiko's mind, however, was still on Burei and her husband.

"He has to survive Tsukki.  He has plenty of 1ups at his disposal!"  Fumiko said confidentially.  Tsukuyo smiled and directed the Hyakka stirring the ship to change course for Wix Flags where Kamui and his crew were waiting.

"Alright ladies, you did bring the slurpee machine just in case right?"  Tsukki asked.  One of them showed off a brand new machine straight off the presses of a Weven Eleven.  Tsukki nodded, but when she turned her head to face the window, her face grew dark,

"AAAAAARRRRGGGGG ABUTO ME FIRST MATE!  I THINK I SPOT SOME WENCHES APPROACHING US STARBOARD SIDE!"  Kamui pulled out a telescope and looked at Tsukki, who threw a kanui threw it piercing his eyeball.   "AHHHHHHHH THAT'S ME EYEPATCH EYE!"  Kamui reached into his pocket and put an eyepatch over it.  The ladies crashed their ship into Kamui's giant pirate ship that was already on fire from the destruction below.  Tsukuyo blew open the hatch and stepped out of the ship, sending fractures through the metal.  She lifted Kamui up by his shirt and stuck a kunai up to his throat,

"Just what the hell are you doing?  YOU'VE SET AN ENTIRE AMUSEMENT PARK ON FIRE!"  Kamui pushed off of her and brushed himself off.  Abuto sighed and began to explain,

 "Well, Chief here got a little over-excited to say the least.  Yare yare.  The owners of the Wix Flags kicked all of us out for causing a public disturbance."  Abuto said, rubbing his temple.  Kamui got into Abuto's face,

"THE TEA CUP RIDE WASN'T GOING FAST ENOUGH!"  Kamui whined.  No Man chimed in,

"Yeah, Chief went crazy dog.  He spun Shinji so fast in the teacup, that the teacup flew through the whole park and smashed 3 others rides with the sheer force of the throw."  No Man said, still covered in trash.

"So, I lit the Wix Flags on fire for being dishonest with their most loyal customer!"  Kamui said smiling.  He peeped behind Tsukuyo and saw the brand new slurpee machine.  His eyes grew and sparkled as his eyes rest on a thing of beauty.  "Aww, you guys shouldn't have!  A new slurpee machine just for me?!"  Kamui shoved Fumiko and the others out of the way to get his slurpage on.  Tsukki was glad to have him out of her hair so she could talk to Abuto.  She explained the whole situation to him and he rubbed his forehead even harder, nearly breaking skin.

"This could have all been prevented if we just went there with everyone, instead we're stuck with a burning Wix Flags and about 50 police cars beneath us."  Abuto rounded up the crew and pressed a giant red button that transformed the pirate ship back into their regular spaceship.  Kamui looked over, his face stained red,

"What's the big idea old ass man?  We aren't done piligin!"  Kamui said, lifting a slurpee in the air, acting as if he was drunker than a skunk.

"We're going to protect Fumiko-san and her eggs!"  Monika said with a warm, beautiful smile.  Kamui shrugged and stumbled his way to the ship's wheel and spun it, causing the vessel to do a 360,

"OFF WE GO MATEYS!  HOLD ON TO YER EGGS!"  Kamui shifted the craft into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE, sending it bolting into space, evaporating Wix Flags in the process.  Just off the road of Wix Flags, a group of wild looking people were staring at the burning coasters.

"Would you look at that Hime-sama...a beautiful blaze.  It's almost like we're so close to civilization yet so far away.  How long do you think we've been out here?"  Yamazaki asked.  Soyo shook her amazed,

"I'm just as surprised as you, though I thought you were supposed to be the straight man holding us grounded."  Yamazaki's gaze did not snap from the blaze,

"We don't need straight men where we're at."  Yamazaki turned to Gonard who had his head stuck in a tree.

"Jimmy, there's birds in here!  OW!"  Gonard yelled as one peaked his head.  The three were interrupted by a loud honk sound, and a set of beaming highlights flashing just outside the trees,

"Your music choice is going to net you 10 more months."  Isaburo said.  Nobunobu shrugged it off,

"Reckon y'all got your precious screen time, you should be happy."  Nobume tossed him out of his 18 wheeler, and slapped cuffs on him.

"Well yeah, you're still under arrest so it's whatever."  Nobume said, pushing him out to the woods.  Soyo ran up to him,

"Big cousin!  I'm glad you came!"  She gave him a hug, smearing dirt and mud on his clothes.  The white coats separated the two and placed handcuffs on Yamazaki and Gonard (who was still stuck in the tree).

"WHY ARE WE GETTING ARRESTED?!"  Yamazaki yelled.  Isaburo place duct tape over his mouth to shut him up.

"You black coats endangered the Shogun and the Princess.  We should have all of you commit seppuku."  Isaburo said, yanking Gonard out of the tree.

"I don't know Jimmy, I'm not good at Sudoku..."  Gonard said concerned.  Isaburo and Nobume walked into the makeshift camp with Nobunobu behind them.  Sonic swoop down from the tree and readied his blade at the sight of the newcomers.  He lowered his hand when he recognized the three.

"So, help finally arrived."  Sonic said smirking,  "I know where everyone is if you want me to round them up."  Nobu tumbled over trying to get Sonic's attention,

"Can ya at least bring me with ya?"  Isaburo and Nobume sighed and uncuffed him.  Sonic lifted him with one arm and jumped through the trees.  At a separate campsite sat the rest of the stranded crew.

 
"Sho-chan...stay alert.  I finally managed to get you clothes...yeah.  Just be careful, those two look dangerous."  Pops was hiding behind a tree, watching out for the shogun who had some large thing protruding from his kimono.

"Nobunobu!  Have you come to rescue us!  You can always rely on family."  Shige bowed his head.

"AAAAAAAAAAAA SONIC LOOK WHO I FOUND ALL THE WAY OUT HERE, IT'S GIN-SAAAAAAAAAN!"  Ayame present the man to them, however, her glasses were missing so she couldn't actually tell who it was.

"Uhh, look I'm not Gintoki, I'm Kintoki.  You kidnapped me while I was having a picnic with Gengai."  Ayame's eyes darkened as she sat him down.  She reached down,

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"  Kintoki malfunction and fell to the ground.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO Y'ALL?!"  Nobunobu yelled.  "Why you got yer...lil shogun out cousin?"  he asked.  Shige raised his eyebrow in questioning, but Sougo spoke up.

"Everyone here is insane...they've all gone mad."  Pops got up to his face, but Sougo turned the tables on him.

"Not so fast Old Man, we're not gonna cause a scene.  We're getting out of this god forsaken forest once and for all."  Sougo tossed the gun aside and hit Zenzou in the head, blowing a bullet through his book.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO YOU SHOT GINPACHI!  YOU BLACK COAT BASTARD!"  Zenzou started punching Sougo, but the punches were not affecting him with the shield of his massive beard.

"Y'all know this forest is like a mile from them city slickers right?"  Nobunobu said.  Everyone stopped and looked dead eyed at him.

"Why didn't you tell us Sonic?"  Ayame asked, throwing the metallic junk to the side.

"I tried but no one listened to me, they were distracted by the cl-"  he received a shot from Pops in said posterior.  Nobunobu picked up the wounded ninja and began heading towards the rest of the group.  The deranged and unhinged followed them to civilization at last.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oboro, I..."  the Captain stopped in his tracks as he saw everyone peeping out from the room.  He sat the AK to the side on the wall.  Oboro was forming a tear in his only.  Poe wiped it away with his wing and continued his salute.

"CAPTAIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!  I DEMAND YOU TO TAKE ME TO THAT WHITE DEVIL AND GET ME OUT OF THIS FINGER PRISON!"  Enshou was kicking at the back of Sweetcheeks.  The Captain dropped Enshou to the floor of the hallway.  The Captain turned around and started to hobble quickly back to where he came.  "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"  Enshou banged his hands against the floor.  "ABANDONING ME NOW?  After all we've been through.."

'I can't be here...he shouldn't be here.'  The Captain thought to himself.  He was slowly picking up his pace, looking down at his leg.  'He can't see me like this.'  the Captain rounded the corner, and reached into his coat pocket.  He produced the keys to Enshou's ship, which included a miniature woopie cushion.  He could still hear the cries and yells from his superior down the hall but forced himself through sheer will to push past it.  Oboro and Poe put their hands down and began to chase the Captain,

"Oboro wait!"  Lily could be heard crying from inside the room.  Oboro ran past Enshou and tried tripping him but missed.  Oboro rounded the corner and faced the Captain.

"Just leave me alone Oboro.  What I did for you back then, it was out of sheer chance."  Oboro looked stunned.

"You...know about Universe 22?"  Oboro was at a loss of words.  The Captain's gaze shifted to the floor,

"There's a whole lot about me that you don't know Oboro.  Not even Utsuro told you."  the Captain brought his eyes back to Oboro.  Oboro was shocked at the revelation.  "To think I let Enshou drag me here, and I meet someone I never wanted to face again.  I thought maybe this would be my final break of life...God knows I needed it."

  The Captain looked emptily at Oboro.  "Utsuro not telling you about me reassures what I already know, Oboro.  If destiny truly wanted us to reunite here, then so be it.  But I can't stick around any longer, as much as it pains me to leave that man behind.  After all he's done for me after Okinawa."

"You should really eat up.  You've been sitting outside my bar for the past 2 days and haven't had a lick of food.  Don't think I can just do this everyday, but I am used to feeding strays."  Otose turned her back to the Captain who began to eat away at the food she gave him.  The Captain pulled out his wallet, but Otose denied.  "You don't need to pay me back, this is nothing.  It's on the house!"  she said, smiling back at him before entering the snack bar.  The Captain sat the empty plate down and stared back up at the sky.

"Why did you send me here Utsuro?  What purpose does this even serve?  You appointed me as Captain...Captain of what?  You-" but he was cut off by his phone ringing.  He picked it up and heard a familiar voice on the other end,

"Utsuro...is dead.  I can't give you any more details than that.  Remember our deal Captain."  the phone clicked as the Captain laid his head back against the wall.  He punched the dirt next to where he was sitting and felt his eyes water up.  He stood up and left the plate at the front door of the bar.

"Thank you maam...I'll kindly repay you next time I visit."  the Captain began to wonder off in the streets of Edo.  He had multiple things running through his mind, the double mission he was on, each mission directed by another man.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small note that Utsuro had wrote him,

"Go to Edo, the prankster will guide you."  he stared at the note dumbfoundly.  He couldn't make sense of what Utsuro wanted from him.  The man stumbled along each little side shop, bumping into people accidentally.  He was getting jossled by each person he was bumping into, and even at one point thrown into the mud.  He lifted his head and saw a man with bright red hair staring at him.

"You look like a sorry, no good nothing.  Scum like you don't even deserve to look at me."

The Captain looked back at the mud that was underneath him,

"You're right, I'm just a useless no one who's destined to walk this planet forever.  Forever lost and alone."  Enshou raised his eyebrow at this,

"I know of your pain.  Your loneliness.  I've been lonely for years and years...the destruction of my people."  The Captain looked back up at Enshou who's face grew dark.  "I've been traveling the universe to look for someone, anyone other than that bastard Shijaku to call a subordinate.  Perhaps even a friend...the name is Enshou, the Gun Smoke Prince of Burei."  Enshou extended his hand to the Captain.  The Captain stared at it for a second, before grabbing a hold of it.  However, when he grabbed Enshou's hand, he felt an electric shock run through his arm.  Enshou chuckled to himself and showed the Captain a buzzer in his hand.  It was titled on the buzzer itself "Sweetheart Shocker".  Enshou picked him up from the mud and put his hand on the Captain's shoulder,

"Gotcha, Sweetheart."

The Captain snapped back to the present and turned away from Oboro again.  He began to walk away, the limp fading.  "Do not bother chasing me further Oboro, it will only cause more trouble for the both of us...until we meet again."  Oboro started after him,

"But I have so much to talk about!"  Oboro began but the Captain slammed his fist through the wall next to him.  Oboro stopped this time for good,

"Oboro, please.  I have to leave, we cannot do this here.  I want the to meet you under different circumstances, a last meeting.  Goodbye."  The Captain retracted his fist from the wall and started to walk brisker out of the building.  Enshou's men and the Renho were still fighting outside and in the building while the Captain made his way back to Enshou's ship.  Enshou, still laying there, realized his pockets were turned inside out,

"HE...he stole my woopie key..."  Enshou said, but as he said this, Eren stepped out of the room to confront the man bound by finger traps.  "You dare face me after what you hideous monsters did to my home's ruins."  Eren waddled up to him and released him from the finger trap.  Enshou was in shock at how the gamer was able to free him from the trap so easy,  "Only Dragonia knew how to unleash the binds of that hell trap..."  Enshou said, looking at the trap in awe as it sat on the ground.

"Enshou, I never meant for this to happen.  I-i didn't know this was your home planet at all!"  Eren said trying to reason with Enshou.  Enshou scoffed as he readied his lasers.

"It's always the same with you white devils, it's all destruction and conquering.  You don't give two shits about my people and the suffering we've endured."  Enshou slashed at Eren, who just managed to dodge the attack, but it cut open his suit partially.  "ALWAYS BEING ABANDONED AND TOSSED ASIDE LIKE TRASH, BUREI IS NOTHING MORE BUT STOMPING GROUNDS TO YOU!"  Enshou was slashing madly, but Eren used a technique he picked up in Wuper Mario Brothers and jumped high in the air, landing on Enshou's head.  Enshou was knocked to the floor but got up quickly,

"Man, that usually kills goombas!"  Eren said, angering Enshou even more.

"You step on my head with your dirty flippers one more time and I have your neck!"  Enshou was slashing again, but was caught by both hands with Eren's flippers.

"I won't stop until I've slain your entire species, Renho."  Eren stared back at the man,

"I can just give you this planet back, it's nothing really...we just don't have anywhere for our own to go to."  Eren reasoned.  Enshou unsheathed his lasers and Eren let go of his hands.  "Why can't we just be civil about this?  Do we really need to shed any more blood?"  Enshou listened as the cries of his men and the sounds of the Renho getting slain in the other room.  He reached into his breast pocket, which caused Eren to get in position to cast a Hadoken at him.  Enshou however brought out his locket.  He opened it up, moving the picture of Lady TBC, moving the restraining order from Bob Barker, and moving the picture of him and Shijaku.  Behind that was an etching within the locket, 'Never forget your home'.

"Great, the author gives me sad OSTs now.  Renho, this planet is my life.  I may say I'm going to take over the entire universe.  I may be the Dark Overlord of All Living Beings, but I am also proud of my planet.  Proud to have walked its grounds.  If the universe was my empire, this would be the capital.  I can cause all the mischief...all the pranks, and all the goofs I want, but that won't bring my planet back.  It won't bring my people back.  Having already been out pranked by someone who I thought of as a he- no...I can't even say something so demeaning.  And then...someone so close to you just leaving you for the wolves.  The damn Captain...what is his problem.  I can't do any of this alone..."  Enshou dropped the locket to the floor, but saw a white flipper pick it up and hand it back to Enshou,

"Then why should you do it alone?  Why can't we just live here together?"  Enshou took the locket back and put it in his breast pocket.  "We're both in pain from loneliness.  I may have a family unlike you do...sorry, but my people are lonely.  We don't have a home, but you do.  After all my years living on Edo with Katsura, I've learned that loneliness is a void other help you fill.  I reunited with my wife, I made life long friendships, and I've met people who would be willing to put their lives on the line just to save me for me.  Why don't we fill each other's loneliness, Enshou?"  Eren extended his flipper to Enshou.  Enshou stared at the flipper for an extended amount of time, trying to process what Eren was telling him.

"But...I blew up your ships.  I caused so much destruction towards your people, crashed your baby shower...why are you forgiving me?  Why are you letting me have my planet back?"  Enshou was confused, but Eren reassured him.

"You may have hurt me.  You may have hurt my people.  But I'm not the kind of person to let grudges last a life time.  We all don't have extra guys, and sometimes, we just need to make it to the next level in order to continue."  Enshou just put his head down and looked at his own hand.  He saw the small buzzer sitting in the center of his palm and began to remove it.  He dropped it to the floor and accepted Eren's handshake.

"THAT'S ALL IT TOOK?!  YOU ALMOST HAD SEX WITH ME JUST FOR THIS!"  Barkas interrupted their handshake.

"Dude, really?"  Enshou said shaking his head.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wow, well that was pretty crazy!"  Billy said closing the book.  Josh was tearing up while Dylan was standing at the window.

"Little did the three of them know, but a pair of deranged looking detectives were running through the parking lot.  Maybe they're looking for someone?"  Dylan commented.  Josh perked up when he heard this,

"Steve and Joe?!"  but as soon as he said that, the door busted down and there stood the two cousins nearly out of breath.

"FINALLY!"  Joe said, coughing up a lung.  Steve walked over and grabbed the book from Billy and Josh.

"Hey Stevie, what's poppin?"  Billy asked.  Steve rolled his eyes at the God.

"We finally found you, it took us this final clue to get the lead we needed."  Steve took out a 500 dollar shirt that just said "Chills" in white letters.  Dylan snatched up the shirt and continued to look out the window,

"The strange men had stolen his merchandise and was trying to sell it on the deepweb for some cheap bucks.  Dylan was upset but not particularly surprised."  the man said. 

"Why are you talking like that dude?"  Joe asked,

"The strange man asked him a strange question, to which, Dylan ignored."  Dylan responded.  Josh stood up to confront his cousins,

"L-look, I'm sorry for accidentally taking the comic!  It was a mistake, honestly."  Steve sighed and gave his cousin a hug.

"Josh, we're not mad at you, we just wanted to make sure you and everyone in this book were ok!  Now come on, let's get back to campus so we can sort all this mess out and get you out of trouble."  Steve said.

"What the hell about me?  I kinda like it out here!"  Billy said, stroking his beard.  Joe shook his head,

"Sorry Billy, but you're gonna have to go back into the book when Steve jumps in there to meet with Toshi."  Joe said.  Billy shrugged, all that meant to him was that he could chill in his awesome man cave with Gendo.  The 4 left the room while Dylan was staring out the window as they walked away.

"The 4 walked away as if they didn't give away disturbing evidence that made Dylan curious.  Very curious indeed."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You take to the sword very well, my Captain."

The Captain lowered his training sword as Utsuro placed his blade into his sheath.

"Why are you training me now?  I thought you were done with me after what happened at Chipotle."  the captain said, remembering the horrifying events of that day.  Utsuro handed the Captain a Good Boy Cookie and sat down, patting the mat next to him.  The Captain knelt down and began to eat his cookie.

"My little ray of sunshine happiness, Joe, has done something that I cannot allow.  I have to reset the universe for a 23rd time.  The reason I'm telling you this is because I can't lose you to this universe's reset.  Sure, it will be the same like the last reset-"  the captain dropped the half eaten cookie at this and began to stand up.

"I can't do that again Utsuro.  I can't bare to lose them again."  Utsuro stood up himself and comforted the Captain.

"I know this is difficult for you, just as it is difficult for me.  I have to live my own life over again, making the same mistakes each time, but hopefully improving everyone's life around me considerably."  Utsuro said.  The Captain shook his head and placed the training sword at Utsuro's feet.

"I cannot stop you from resetting the universe.  Hell, I can't match your power at all.  I swear I was just at the right place at the right time that day.  I shouldn't even be here right now.  Why not just leave me in this universe, have my memory forgotten in the next and let me move on."  the Captain asked Utsuro.  Utsuro smiled to himself as he placed his mask.

"You may not realize it yet, but you are important.  You saved me in the last universe.  You hold importance, somehow.  It's my duty to protect that importance, no matter how small it is.  I could not even tell Oboro nor Poe of your memories.  You already contain the power to survive a universe reset, so it's not as if you can do anything.  Let it happen, for as many times I deem necessary." the Captain thought of the aftermath of universe 22.  "I'm afraid it's too late Captain.  I'll see you upon the arrival of a newly formed world."  Utsuro opened the door to his dojo and left.  The Captain clutched at his wallet firmly placed in his pants pocket, as he did the same in the present day.  The ship he stole from Enshou landed just a few meters in a field from where he wanted to visit.  He passed by a picture hung up on the wall of the ship,

  Sweetcheeks took the photo down and stared at it, before putting it in his pocket.

"I'll be back for you Enshou...sorry for leaving you."  the Captain walked off the ship and walked the crisp, cold ground beneath his feet.  It was dark in this part of Edo, but he knew this path exceptionally well.  It was a small trail that led up to a small cemetery.  Many tombstones and grave markers lined the trail, until at the very edge of the cemetery he rested to his knees in front of a small maker.  There was no name, but a lit candle sitting in the incense burner on the grave.  From the corner of his eyes, he could see someone leaning against another grave marker.

"So, came here to visit too huh?  Surprised you ended up back on solid ground again after what happened."  the Captain said.  The figure was speechless, but nodded its head before speaking up.

 

"Both of our families lie in this graveyard.  It's only natural trash like me ends up back where it came from."  Hitsugi stood up and looked down at the kneeling Captain.

 

"Well, how has your mission gone, Captain?"  Hitsugi asked.  "I've been gone for awhile now, I just want to be kept up to speed.  I haven't been able to get in contact with that Nameless man.  Do you at least have some good news for me?"  the Captain looked up at Hitsugi.

"Kaname is dead Hitsugi.  He was killed after you were sent flying into space."  Hitsugi's expression changed to a concerned, yet saddening look.  He sulked back down to the tombstone and sat there as the Captain gave a small prayer before pulling out his wallet.

"I'm nothing but a ghost now Captain.  I have no one, as I'm sure you are the same.  Two souls wandering aimlessly yet again."  the Captain shook his head, but did not answer the larger man.  Hitsugi composed himself and shook off the news that hit him like a ton of bricks.  "I'm sure we will be back in touch eventually, Captain.  Until then, you'll know where to find me."  Hitsugi placed his hat on his head and walked away from the graveyard.  The Captain simply gave him a nod before pulling out a faint picture from the back of his wallet,

"Having to relive the same tragic memory 3 times over...seeing that frizzy head man and his bird just reminded me of why I'm here.  Papa will always love you guys.  No matter what."  he flipped the picture over to read their names once again.  The final words on the bottom left were scrubbed, but could read "Adopted by:" but his own name was smeared out.  The Captain pulled a small pen from his pocket and scribbled down in the smudge "Sweetcheeks".

TBC 

Edited October 8, 2019 by Moxley♥

[Cha]

A few weeks later there was a huge event in the capital of Burei, the place was crowded with ducks, giant robots and braided hair individuals alike. In said crowd also contained the terrorists, Yorozuya, Kaientai, the yato, Hyakka, Seita, Hinowa and others. 

“So is this just another chapter of the arc, an epilogue or new arc?” Shinpachi asked Gintoki.

“Yes.” He replied. Shinpachi’s face darkened.

Barkas emerged from the belly of the huge crowd and panted. 

“Man that was hell to get all through.” Barkas said, he was immediately grabbed in a hug by Katsura. 

“LITTLE ELIZABETHHHH. I’VE MISSED YOOOUU!” Katsura petted his head against his own and held him against his bosom.

“I don’t even know who you are!” Barkas exclaimed.

“Hey where the fuck is Bansai, I wanted to use his body as a shield in case these terrifying bird beasts got rabbid all of a sudden.” Shinsuke crossed his arms.

“If you’re talking about that gentleman with green hair, I recall my little brother Hata had something planned for him back in our castle for helping him save his life.” Barkas said as he was still being smothered. 

Meanwhile on Oukoku, Bansai’s egoistical ass had been treated like royalty. There had been a large welcome home party for him on the streets of the capital city with a picture of him decked out over the massive castle and exotic flower arrangements in all the colors of the rainbow. He was now being fed grapes by servants while laying there in a lounge chair. 

“Man, this is the life. Finally the fans are paying respects to the guitarist of the century.” Bansai put another grape in his mouth. Suddenly, he felt a solid metal object on the back of his head, he swallowed the grape whole.

“This is the guy, eh?” Jii said holding the gun. Hata happily nodded his head behind him. “Well, for sure Barkas’s cherry ass isn’t gonna past on the bloodline.” Jii snapped his fingers and had two more servants appeared. “Have him fitted for a wedding suit.”

Bansai was picked up by the two hefty guys by his arms and dragged away.

“WHAT?!! AAAAAHHH!!” He yelled.

Back on Burei, Shige emerged from the crowd too and panted. The terrorists quickly put on their mustache glasses disguises. 

“I tell you Barky, Chaplin sextuplets.” Shige looked at the terrorists. “This wild Burei royal life isn’t for me.”

“Hey sweaty old man, where’s Soyo-chan?” Kagura asked him, Shinpachi gave her a furious look back.

“If I recall, Soyo-chan was back at our own castle and had something planned for Bansai saving the universe.” Shige said. 

Back in Edo, Soyo was patiently waiting for his arrival with decorations all over. Pops was also there prepared with his loaded gun. Suddenly she got a text. 

“WHAT? HATA GOT TO TRICK BANSAI INTO A FALSE CASTLE WELCOMING PARTY TO MARRY HIM BEFORE I DID?!

NOOOOOOO-“

The scene snapped back to Burei, the parade floats were starting and the gang saw some familiar faces coming up in the distance.

“Arf!” Sadaharu barked.

“Hey it’s the loser cherry boy, ketchup braids and Fumiko-chan!” Kagura exclaimed.

The Yoshiwara gang perked up first and started waving, the others followed. 

“BABY MONDAY ELIZABETHS!” Katsura shouted in the crowd.

“Look at them, those white devils, my braided hair men, those giant robots. I bet even the author spent all of her time on this drawing, for me. All slaving for the pleasure of their dark newly appointed GUN SMOKE KING OF BUREI, ENSHOU!” Enshou made a mechanical laugh while holding the baby. “Isn’t that right Princess Cherry? Your snot nose shall be your Goddaddy’s first little minion.” He was met by a kuani in the twig eyebrows by Fumiko.

“And King Eren!” Eren butted in, Enshou’s smile instantly faded. “Of course I was happy to remain a President, but the opportunity to make my Princess a Queen? I couldn’t resist!” Princess Palutena who was held in Eren’s flippers then stabbed him again with a kuani and he whimpered. “Miracle of life.. beautiful isn’t it?” He fell to the floor in pain, Fumiko picking up Palutena before he did.

“Think we’re gonna have to head back soon, Ery. Little Alex needs a change.” Fumiko said and the little prince in her arms giggled.

“I’ll take poopy diapers for 400, Alex!” Eren sat up but was met with katana blades to his body by all three of his babies. “Aaah.. Ninja Samurai children... gotta love them..” He passed out. 

“Ooh shit. NOOO! CHERRY!” Enshou’s grasp slipped on the baby and she fell over the float. The parade and celebration stopped, Fumiko and Eren freaked out and zoomed over to the railing. “Got cha! She was in my other hand!” He smiled and revealed Cherry behind his back. Eren got a hold his daughter before Enshou was beat to a bloody pulp by him, Fumiko and the sercuity guards. He laid there in a barely alive mess. “T-t-too.. far of a joke...?” He whispered.

Gintoki felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and noticed a message. 

“T-this is...” His face went pale. Kagura and Shinpachi caught sight of their boss and looked over him to see what was wrong. Their faces went pale too.

“HALLOWEEN PARTY AT THE OLD MAN’S AGAIN!” Gintoki yelled out, half of the crowd there instantly fled off. 

The parade continued for a little bit longer, the royals waving to their loyal subjects and them keeping up their smiles. They finally made it back to their newly built by giant robots castle. The couple walked to the nursey, changed Alex, placed the babies down in their cribs for a nap and exhaled as they closed the door behind them. They slumped exhausted by the past few weeks into their bed and smiled at each other. But not a second went by of laying down went by before the triplets started a deafening cry.
 

“Three weeks of nonstop crying... I’ve dealt with sleepless game championships that had lasted for twice as long, and even then I didn’t feel as exhausted as I do now...” Eren couldn’t even move his flippers to rub his bag drooping eyes. 

“I work with third graders.. I lived as an outlawed vagabond.. I survived being blown up by an artificial evil space station.. So why is this the challenge?” Fumiko looked up at their ceiling. “Ery, I want you to kill me with a kuani.”

“I can’t do that my princess queen.. I love you too much.” He whimpered. They both started to cry in self-pity but then they remembered. 

“ENSHOU!” The couple said and instantly sat up. 

They did a game of rock, paper, scissors and Fumiko lost. She reluctantly got up and waddled to the man’s room just down the hall from theirs and the nursey. She knocked on the door before entering and stumbled upon seeing Enshou with nothing on but his locket, under his bed and alone.

“Your Dark Prophet of all Things Wicked and Handsome was good in this epilogue love scene or whatever this is, wasn’t I?” He said to himself about himself.

“Oh lord...” She covered her eyes.

He saw her, his eyes widened and he quickly put the blanket up to his chest. “You DARE enter my chambers unannounced, white SHE-devil?!” 

“Look, can you babysit the ducklings tonight?” She asked plainly.

“You DARE ask of your Super Wicked Sexy King this on the EVE of the most important party of the year?!” He proclaimed and then forced mechanically laughed. “HAHAHAHAH! Laugh with me captain!” Sweetcheeks popped up under his bed and did so. Fumiko shot kuanis in their heads before slamming the door and going back to her room. 

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I got the perfect B plan!” Eren pressed a button on his phone and instantly the front door bell rung. They got up to answer it and Katsura super zoomed in, leaving the couple paralyzed. 

“SORRY I’M LATE! I WAS ON EARTH!” He flung down his mommy bag down in the nursey room and pulled out Shinsuke, Matako, Elizabeth and Takechi out of it.

“But Honey, I wanted to go to the super cool Halloween party..” Shinsuke somberly whined and defeated, took out one of the warm milk bottles on the nightstand for himself. He took the nipple top off and guzzled it down.

“SHINNY THAT’S NOT FORMULA!” Katsura yelled, Shinsuke spit taked it out.

Meanwhile Enshou’s naked ass got up to get dressed up in his Halloween costume with the aid(s) of his loyal Captain.

“Come on Captain, bring out more black leather. We’re about to be the baddest bitches at this blow out.” 

“Yes sir!” Sweetcheeks proclaimed and helped his dark overlord zip the rest of his naked body up. Enshou then looked down at his locket and opened it.

“Lady TBC, this party and new reign of King Enshou is gonna be special, I can feel it.”

————

“Oboro, you are coming up to the Penthouse for the Halloween Costume Party, right?"  the purple director's voice could be heard over the phone as the one eyed man was laying in his bed.  

It was nearing Halloween, the air was cool and the leaves falling.  It was nearing just around 6:00 pm, the day starting to set.  Oboro had been in bed all day since it was a rare occasion of no work.  LilyMu was on a short one week break to shoot a big Halloween episode.  Poe bumped Oboro’s cell phone against his head and finally responded,

“Yeah dude, I'll be up there in like 10 minutes tops."  Oboro hung up and threw the phone on his bed.  He completely forgot about the costume party and let out a little "Poe this is the worst day of my life", very quietly and disappointed in himself.  Ozu had been planning the party for a whole month now, and Lily-Mu's biggest star forgot to even buy or make a costume.  

“What in the world am I going to wear?!  Do I just wear my superhero costume?!'  Oboro’s was scratching his head after running ideas through his thick jizz skull.  He was rummaging through his dresser, pulling out all sorts of wacky clothes,  "Giant evil worm?  No. Nameless Man?  Nah.  Sensei’s old blanky?!  Maybe...  Ah ha!"  Oboro pulled out the perfect costume, he knew this would wow him.

The party up in the Penthouse was bouncing, the whole Lily-Mu cast, Kiyoko (much to her chagrin, she was forced to attended her rival company's party), and a few extras that helped with the other half of the TBC story.

"WAIT A MINUTE! THIS IS A TOTAL COPY AND PASTE OF THE ORIGINAL HALLOWEEN ARC INTRODUCTION FROM THE OTHER WRITER, YOU STEALER!"  Shinpachi interjected at the author.  

“How would you know, that was like 22 universes ago.” Oboro arrived to the scene with his favorite pet bird sidekick.

“Poe I can’t believe you would favor Ringo-dono above all others.” Oboro shook his masked face. “Author what’s your favorite Beatle? Oh she’s too casual of a fan, she says George-dono or John-dono. Fine, who’s your favorite voice? John. See there, finally. At least she agrees with me, Poe.” The bird just made an irritated caw. 

Shinpachi’s face darkened and he walked away. Unlike the last party there were many more characters, minus Billy who claimed he’s too above it all to attend his own holiday. Ozu greeted his co-stars before walking up to some mad gamers at work on Wintendo Kart.

“Raj, my favorite supervillian star!” Ozu smiled at the man.

“Oh hello grey haired old man. WHAT?! FOURTH PLACE?!” Raj slammed down his controller. “HOW DID I LOSE TO THAT SLEEPING DUCK?!” He pointed at a passed out Eren. Ozu then noticed a certain redhead he hadn’t come across in ages.

“Mikey! So good to see you again after so lon-“ Ozu was cut off.

“Yeah pops, can you move? I’m trying to beat these losers at Kart!” Mikey exclaimed, Ozu rolled his eyes and walked away to the dads, who were all wearing matching outfits coincidentally.

“Eyup.”

“Eyup.”

“Eyup.”

“Your wife is hot.” Gintoki had a full beer can brutally thrown at his face.

Meanwhile in the corner the ninjas were doing their usual things on the sofa. Sacchan lost her glasses and was feeling around for them.

“Oh real funny costume author.” Sonic said at me. “Why am I the designated straight ninja?” He put his face in his monsterous hips.

“Gin-san?! I know that’s you! I can feel your massive schlong!” Sacchan petted the censor costume item on top of Fumiko’s sleeping head.

“Aaah.” Tsukuyo sat down her bottle for only a moment. “Fumiko can’t hear you Sacchan, she’s out of it. Damn greasy gamer, she shoulda stayed single, LIKE 
I FUCKING AM!” Tsukuyo angrily tossed the bottle at the wall, hitting cameoing Yoshi and instantly killing him. Not like anyone noticed or cared.

“I think you’re the one most out of it right now, Tsukki..” Sonic silently commented.

“I can’t believe you Saruatobi...” Zenzou started to sniffle and then bawled out loudly. “GOING AS ANOTHER PERMHEAD WHEN THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS IS TEN FEET UNDER HIS CLASSROOM’S DOGHOUSE!” Despite not having her glasses, Sacchan easily was able to throw stars in his hemmroids and he fell off the table in a mess.

Near the party buffet, Yamazaki was beaming with happy energy. He down an entire bottle of soda and then without Gonard noticing, body slammed him. Big Blue fell to the floor and looked at his estatic buddy.

“Say Jimmy, are we switching the straight man and dumb man today or something?” Gonard asked and Yamazaki then extended a hand to him to get back up.

“GONARD! MY FAVORITE BLUE BUDDY! I’M FINALLY FREE!” Yamazaki beamed. He pulled out an invitation card from his jacket to show his best friend. Gonard scratched his head at it and took a bite into it.

While slouching in a living room chair all alone, Sougo at the same time had pulled his own invitation he had got.

“What a musical hack. I just wanted the chance to talk to him and now this all happened.” Sougo shook his head.

Kondo in some kind of costume that looked like a pile of shit rather than the Werhey’s Kiss he had intended, had been listening close by the wall to Sougo. The ape man pulled up a chair and sat in it backwards. Sougo took little notice until he spoke out.

“Sougo my boy, there are plenty of Oukokuan royalty in the sea. Take my Fake Otae for exa-“ Sougo crumbled up and stuffed the invitation in his boss’s mouth and made him swallow it.

“Sorry poop chief.” Sougo got up to get some cherry punch.

By the punch and buffet table, Oboro with Poe was telling a long winded story to Lily and Mitsuki who were too in love with him at the moment, a smiling Tatsuma and Ikumatsu who had a tired expression. 

“So all of a sudden there Poe and I were in universe ten. I was completely covered in it, my legs tied up, my heart racing, about to be tossed in Sensei’s oven alive-“

“AHAHAHAHA! AN OVEN?!” Tatsuma hacked it up before Oboro could finish and gave him a slap on the back that made him fall on the ground. Oboro blushed and smiled. 

Ozu then interrupted their conversation and helped the man back up.

“Oboro my one-eyed star pupil! It seems a lot more guests are here and are still coming than anticipated. Would you mind going downstairs and reparking the limo to the back of the parking lot?” Ozu smiled.

“Sure thing boss!” Oboro said with a pep in his step and Ozu then tossed him the keys. The Lilymu girls made little whimpers but Ikumatsu finally exhaled. 

“And YOU!” Ozu pointed to Tatsuma. “I’m still FURIOUS at you for destroying my home! Go help him!” 

“HAHAHA! That was like a century ago, old man!” The tradesman was kicked to the front door by the old man. Oboro helped him back up.

 

The trio left the penthouse and made their way to the elevator in the hallway. Poe clicked on the lobby button and as Oboro started to reflect on his life in the past months or so. The star had felt happier and more free than ever before in his over three hundred year life. It was parties like this especially that boosted his mood. Something seemed so right about him being the man everyone (except the other Jouis) wanted to talk to, share a laugh with and bond with. It was something he had lacked for so long with and he couldn’t imagine now a day without his co-stars and friends. Friends.. he almost forgot he was in an elevator with the one man he had wish for alone time with for since he developed a crush on him on their hangover trip. Oboro was completely flustered at this point. 

“S-so, w-where’s Mutsu-dono?” Oboro spoke out. Tatsuma was lost in his usual innocent go-lucky thoughts. 

“Haah, how should I know? Probably trying to catch up with the ol’ bag of bones. They haven’t seen each other since the shower!” Tatsuma exclaimed. Oboro looked around, not on the man himself of course. He put his mask over his head.

“This might sound dumb, but like. Y-You genuinely like spending time with me, right? Like I’m not forcing our friendship or anything..” Oboro stumbled out, he rubbed the back of his head.

“Yeah! I mean, sometimes your crush on me weirds me out but I really like you platonically as a friend. The other guys are just hard on you because they can never let go of the past. I mean, they did with Mr. Takasugi right? And look at everything he’s done! My motto is let by gones be by gones. Life is too short to waste a good sales opportunity and meet new clients. Why not the same with friends?” Tatsuma looked directly at him, Oboro finally met his gaze.

Oboro’s heart fluttered at the man’s warm and kind smile. Oboro looked the other way and then thought to himself, how could someone who caused so much destruction and pain in the previous universe be such a ray of sunshine in the next? As much as resets were unethical and how selfish he was for thinking it but the immortal was happy he got to know this Sakamoto Tatsuma and become his friend. Oboro closed his eyes and gave a little smile.

“Caw?” Poe asked him, the doors to the level had been opened for the last two minutes. 

“Hello?! Earth to Obo, you comin’ buddy?” Tatsuma waved to him. Oboro snapped out of it.

“Oops. Let’s go!” Oboro exclaimed and ran. 

They friendly waved to the irritated Front Desk Lady as they passed by and exited out of the revolving door. Upon being outside at the twilight hour, Oboro noticed a car crashed by a fire hydrant across from the building. Two gentlemen were standing there. The redheaded one was raving to the older one for something Oboro couldn’t make out from that distance. 

“GREAT GOING SWEETCHEEKS!” Enshou yelled. “My poor beautiful Evil Messiah Black Leathered Italian Sports Car with Black Rims and Black Ice Car Freshener!”

“Sir, why can’t you just say Lamborghini like anyone else.” The Captain was slapped by his Majesty. 

“You have upsetted the Evil Messiah Black Leathered Italian Sports Car with Black Rims and Black Ice Car Freshener. NOW KISS HER!” Enshou pointed down to the tires, Sweetcheeks forcefully obeyed. 

As he was kissing them and the muddy tracks, his phone started to ring and he noticed the ID. The Captain’s pupils shrunk. He looked up at Enshou who was immersed in stroking his red locks in a hand held mirror and checking himself out in his black leathered mini skirt with fish stockings. He decided to chance it, he sat behind the car and picked up his phone. Meanwhile Oboro and Tatsuma were still peering from a distance at this unusual scene. Without being noticed, Oboro grabbed Tatsuma’s hand to cross the street and they hid behind a bush. Oboro made an inaudible gasp once he realized it was the Captain as Tatsuma was confused.

“This is really not a good time, Hitsugi. What is it you want?” He heard him say. Oboro and Poe looked at each other with a loss of words. “You’re back there again? Look.. whatever you’re planning. I don’t think I want to be apart of. There’s too many variables, too many thing’s at stake.” The Captain could hear Enshou’s footsteps and immediately hung up the phone and resumed kissing the tires. Enshou looked down at him and smirked.

“I think you learned your lesson. Come Captain! You can help me apply my Darker Than Slapping Your Grandmother at Her Own Funeral Black Lipstick.” He said. 

“Yes sir!” Sweetcheeks got up and took out his makeup kit for his big bara goth boy king.

Oboro turned around and sat there looking straight ahead, trying to process this all. Poe concernly rubbed his feather against his friend’s head. Tatsuma furrowed his eyebrows as he was trying to understand.

“Obo, who is that old man?” Tatsuma asked. Oboro thought about it, thought about telling the man for a few moments before sighing.

“Forgive me Sensei for what I am about to say. Tatsuma... let’s just say you, me and that man have some dark history.” Oboro confessed, Tatsuma raised an eyebrow.

——————-———

Hitsugi had managed to take a spaceship out to some uncharted space with a mission set in his mind. He landed on a planet with rich green skies and got out of his vessel. The ground was mostly made up of some green liquid jelly liquid. Before his eyes, said liquid had morphed into a massive castle. He was a bit stunned but somehow had remembered being in a similar place before recently. Hitsugi made sure the surroundings were solid enough to stand upon before walking on the bridge and into the castle itself. Into the door, he was immediately met with green globs of goo holding swords to his neck. He put his hands up.

“About time I saw some guards. Last time you guys were more swift with intruders.” Hitsugi commented. 

“Glib glob gloover gloo.” One of the guards said. 

In front of the guards and Hitsugi, another ball of goo slithered its way to the front doors of the castle. The goo transformed itself into a woman that Hitsugi had remembered before.

“There’s guards everywhere in the Globberian kingdom. In fact, this castle is completely made up of guards.” She snapped her fingers and the castle and everything inside of it turned back into goo. They morphed up more weapons and held them against the big man. 

“Before you go ahead and kill me for trepassing again, I had a proposition.” Hitsugi told her, she gave him a dirty look. 

“Disgusting mammals. We should have banned you solid apes from visiting our part of space centuries ago. If the last group of mammals that came before you crash landed on our planet were any indication. Fowling up our civilization with your primitive barbarism.” The woman ruler recalled from the past.

“How did you even remember this place, human? We wipe the memories of everyone who comes here.” She added.

Hitsugi pulled out a card with a picture from his wallet. 

“You left your information on the backside your modeling card.” Hitsugi said and then smirked. “But I must say, Yuka, Your Majesty you do look a bit different than your picture.”

“Humanoid form is nearly impossible to keep up, can’t imagine staying like this for all the years your own species is forced to do.” Yuka simply stated, still frowning. She turned away from him.
“What’s a planet leader doing a job like that anyway?” Hitsugi said curious. The guards tightened their swords around his neck. Yuka put her hand up, having them finally release him. She stared at Hitsugi straight in his face.

“Desperate times for money for a ruler’s kingdom and her people call for desperate measures.” She simply stated. 

“That is why I came here.” Hitsugi pulled out some green glowing crystals, Yuka’s pupils shrunk.

“Altana crystals.. Those are the most radiant ones I’ve seen.. don’t tell me they’re from-“ Hitsugi cut her off.

“Koukan crystals. An Altana substance so pure and so wanted it the planet was banned right after its war so no one could use it for their own personal benefit. I managed to snag a bag of some floating in space, who would have known that bastard friend of that Nameless Man knew would be so useful?”  Hitsugi thought of Kaname, back then he only saw from a distance but he assumed that Kurokuno had dumped out all the crystals out of a hole inside the ship. “You know, selling these puppies could really save the money crisis of your kingdom, your Majesty.” Yuka kept staring at them.

“What do you want in return, mammal?” She crossed her arms.

“I heard that your species has powers even lying beyond shapeshifting. You can see the past and the future.” Hitsugi told her.

“Fine, I will talk it over with some of my colleagues.” Yuka then turned back into goo. 

The remaining goo around Hitsugi formed into some kind of massively shaped ball. He assumed that is how they were discussing the matter. Hitsugi decided to take the time to go back to his ship and call his old friend. 

“Now what is it you want? I’m pumping up a tire.” The Captain said from the other line.

“It has begun, Captain.” Hitsugi simply stated, Sweetcheeks froze on his end. “I’m tired of being helpless in a world that won’t even grant us the families we deserve. I’m going back in time to end this all.”

“Hitsugi.. if I think what I think you’re saying.. Utsuro can’t be brought back from the past. He already told me about the first universe, he was aware of Joe’s time traveling. Utsuro cannot exist anymore.” The Captain explained.

“No. I’m doing something beyond that. Beyond trying to resurrect a ghost. I’m gonna do something even Utsuro had never attempted at.” Hitsugi said gravely.

“W-what are you even saying, Hitsugi?!” The Captain stumbled.

“I’m going to unreset these universes.”

The Captain dropped his phone on the floor. Meanwhile behind Hitsugi a blob had been listening in, Yuka transformed herself back into humaniod form and narrowed her eyes.
————————————-


About thirty years ago in the first universe and outside of the comic book, four explorers and best friends were traveling with their families on their own ship, The Conundrum. Their destination was something they heard of only an insignificant number of people successfully reaching alive and out of. 

“The Bermuda Triangle!” One of the women explorer exclaimed, some of her poker chips flying off the ship’s table and into the cracks of the wooden floor. 

“Annabelle, are you playing poker with Stephen’s children...” Her husband put a hand to his face.

“Awh, come on Dereky! The little squirts gonna learn this game sometime right? Come on.. Anna needs some warm booties for her baby.” Annabelle blew on the dice and held it up to her pregnant belly to pretend to blow on. Derek shook his head and turned to Stephen who was steering the wheel. Next to him was his wife Maria who handed him a drink. 

“You sure we’re heading the right way?” Derek asked Stephen as he steered it. 

“Stephen Harvestein has been navigating ships since his days at the navy. There’s nothing a little storm can do to us now, Derek.” Stephen joked. Maria handed Derek a drink from the cooler and smiled.

“We’ll be alright. We’ve planned this trip for months. Plenty of ships come to this area all year.” Maria tried to reassure him. Derek just sighed and sat next to his wife Annabelle. 

“Planned so much that we’re all taking our kids to a place that’s known for disppearing anything that comes close to it.” Derek took another sip.

“This is the discovery of a lifetime, Derek! Who knows what kind of ruins we’ll find once we get there. What’s some little fairy tales gonna do to us?” Annabelle smiled. “JACKPOT!” She took all the chips from Stephen and Maria’s three children and they whined. 

“Awwh come on! What’s with this game anyway? Pops said he was gonna read us a new story if we went on this trip with him!” The oldest boy Timothy proclaimed. Stephen chuckled. 

“It’s in my backpack over there, Maria if you can.” He said. Maria went over and took it out. She placed it on the table with her kids and the other two adults.

“What gives, Papa? Why does the book open the opposite way?” The littlest child, a girl named Susie said. 

“Opposite for you maybe but not for the Japanese and other cultures. It’s important you kids learn all kinds of reading. I picked it up at our last travel  to Japan. But I got the translated issue so it would be a bit easier for you.” Stephen steered the wheel to the left a bit.

“Land of the samurai.. hmm.” Annabelle glared over at the book. “Looks like a lot more pictures than reading. I can dig it.” 

“I wanna see it first!” The middle child, Justin proclaimed.

The adults and children in the background kept looking over the book and Stephen kept his eyes on the sea before him. But in the distance, near the area of the triangle, he saw the waters starting to glow in an unusual way.

“What the..” Stephen took out a small telescope he had in his jacket pocket. The water was pure sparkling this purpleish hue, more brilliant and radiant than he had ever seen. If he was near the northern hemisphere he could excuse it as some kind of Aurora Borealis, but not this close to the equator. “Derek, you better come up and look at this..” Derek got up and stood next to the man.

“Some kind of illuminating sea plankton species?” Derek wondered, Stephen shook his head.

“I don’t think in this great amount.” Stephen stated. He had their wives get up and examine the situation as well. 

“Well that’s why we’re out here isn’t it?” Maria asked. “It couldn’t hurt to get a bit closer.” 

Derek was a bit cautious of their safety naturally but they all agreed. They took the ship in for a closer look. The adults stood in awe as the children got up to witness the dazzling and shimmering glow of that sea in the afternoon. They took pictures not noticing a great storm was approaching up from behind them.

“Papa, what are all those funny dark clouds behind us?” Susie asked. Stephen snapped out of it and looked up into the sky. 

“Storm coming!” Stephen and Derek proclaimed.

“The hell?! Out of nowhere?! But the skies are completely clear today!” Annabelle said, her, Maria and the kids went to sit down and buckle up while Stephen and Derek had the wheel.

“I’ve never seen a storm that bad before. And I’ve been in all sorts of bad weather. It’s like this side of the ocean is completely calm and the other side completely wild! It’s even forming massive waves.” Derek inspected it.

“We have to keep moving forward, until it all settles.” Stephen went for the wheel but Derek stopped him.

“Stephen, nothing lies on here but the heart of the Triangle itself. There is a cyclone happening up there right now. We’ll die either way we go.” Derek somberly commented. 

They looked behind them, their wives were desperately trying to distract the children. Both of the men nodded and headed into the edges of the purple ocean towards middle of the Triangle. Without warning the storm was approaching faster than expected. The men had no choice but to floor The Conundrum deeper inside. The storm then completely engulfed the Bermuda Triangle. The children were screaming as the waters were tossing the boat around, Stephen and Derek could do nothing but put on life preservers and hang onto their families, embracing for the absolute worst. With one more blast of a wave, the ship and table split in half, one side Stephen and his family the other side Derek and Annabelle.

“NOOO!” Derek yelled out. 

Stephen was still tightly clinging onto his family but he has lost his balance. He tried holding onto the table but the book from earlier on it made him lose his grip and he fell with it into the purple ocean. The kids and adults screamed out.

“PAPA!” 

“STEPHEN!” 

They saw a magnificent light shine underneath the water. They saw the book fly out of the water and up into the sky, Stephen clinging onto it. He was then somehow transformed inside of the book, the others mouths dropping. 

“MAMA!” Susie and the other two boys were thrown overboard, Marie jumping after them and Derek and Annabelle looking on in horror. 

“I’ll help-“ Annabelle was stopped by her husband.

“Stay here!” Derek jumped off board.

“DEREK!” She called out.

Annabelle clung onto the rail looking down at her pregnant belly, she begun to sob. But soon enough Derek had popped his head above water and climbed back on board.

“Where are Maria and-“ She said confused.

“Annabelle. They were crushed to death by the ruins of the ship.” She held her mouth, her heart stood still. The couple remained huddled there together after their friends had all perished, the waves hitting them harder with each passing moment. 

Annabelle eventually woke up some time later, feeling warm sand beneath her. She looked at her side to see her husband sleeping. She exhaled and felt her belly. The baby was still kicking thankfully. 

“Derek..” She sat up in some pain. He snapped awake.

“We’re gonna be okay, I promise you Annabelle.” Derek held onto her but she noticed something by his side. 

“The book!” Annabelle reached for it and opened it. Her hands touched the sparkling purple water still on it and it crystalized her hands and they stung. “Ow!”

Derek took a hold of it and looked at her hands, seconds later returned to their normal as if they had never been wet in the first place. The same thing happened to his after he had touched them. 

“Annabelle, back there. You saw Stephen go inside this thing after he went into the water, right?” Derek kept looking at his hands.

“How could I have missed it?” She was looking at her own hands.

The couple then stood up and looked at the deserted island before them. They looked at the ground. 

“I’m sure we’ll eventually find our way back, honey. Someone will see us and be like hey, you city slickers from California?” Derek joked. Annabelle jokingly slugged his arm.

Suddenly the ground begun trembling.

“D-Derek?” Annabelle looked all around her. In a blink of an eye, the two and the book were transported across the globe back to their house. They stood there completely frozen. “If God is punishing me from my poker edition.. I’m never playing it again.”

Derek and Annabelle would spend the next several months not leaving their home and testing out their newfound powers, trying to recreate the teleportation event. They would never stop trying to figure out a way to save Stephen, if he was still alive in that book somehow. But instead, they would teleport random objects out of picture frames, photos and basically anything two dimensional. Eventually their baby was born, a boy. The two sat there on the floor, surrounded by the objects they had brought to life in this world and this little infant.

“What do you want to name him, Anna?” Derek smiled at the little guy and pet his cheek. The baby made a little irritated face, Annabelle opened up his blanket, his hands turned purple and crystalized and it faded just like theirs. The parents looked at each other in disbelief.

“He was born of the same powers.. I want to name him after the man and his family that we lost that day, our close friend. Captain Stephen Harvestein.” Annabelle craddled him. 

“What about something a little bit more unique to him?” Derek asked.

“Stephen... Ste....Steve.” Annabelle said and they both smiled. 

The couple would never be able to unleash Captain Stephen before their untimely car crash a few years later soon after their second child, Joe was born. Only in a select number of universes would they be able to survive with their children. But in each one, the only one unlocking the book would be Steve. And in most cases, not knowing the source of his own power or his real world’s purple crystals. But for now, Derek, Annabelle and baby Steve sat there in their crowd of two-dimensional family members. A tiny cartoon puppy from the members then came up to Steve’s face and licked it. His parents chuckled.

“Bow bow bow bow!” She barked.

TBC

[Aya♥]

"Oh Mr. Bowie, what would you do in my situation?"  Bansai sat his framed picture of David Bowie down on a nightstand next to the bed he was given.  Bansai was sitting alone in a gigantic room within the Prince's Castle. Bansai laid down in his comfy as hell bed and strummed on his guitar.  He didn't mind the company of the Prince, but he felt slighted. This was supposed to be his big break, the big time. Bansai strummed a long note that held for several seconds.  'This was it. I was going to break through as the greatest singles musician ever. Now I'm in this dress.' Bansai shook his head at his own thoughts. He couldn't let the fame get to his head, but he craved it.  Was EF holding him back?

"Oh BANSAIII~!"  Bansai snapped his head to his door and saw Hata standing there in a spiffy suit.  "I brought your favorite sandwich! Tuna salad and eggs!" Bansai looked at the sandwich, his favorite indeed.  Bansai stood up, lifting his dress so he wouldn't step on it and took the sandwich from Hata. Hata swooned as Bansai took a bite.

"This is pretty good little dude, but um, can I like leave yet?  I think Matako wanted to get a pedi-medi tod-" Hata ripped the sandwich out of his hand and began to walk out the door,

"Do NOT mention her name on our wedding day."  Hata shut the door in Bansai's face as he pondered what Matako was up to in his absence.

"Honey, do you have anymore of that formula?"  Shinsuke was holding a baby bottle, examining the contents inside.

"YOU'LL NEVER GET ME FORMULER SHINNY!"  Katsura said, cackling like Mr. Wabs. The little babies were crawling around the floor of their nursery as the terrorists babysat them.  Shinsuke was checking his phone every now and again to get updates from Gintoki on the party.

"Honey look, Gintoki is hitting on two moms now.  Man, I can't believe we got stuck doing baby duty."  Shinsuke hung his head down as Baby Cherry bumped into his shins.

"Nonsense Shinsuke, taking care of the children is going to push the development of these little tykes even further!  We should do all we can to help them while Eren-dono and Fumiko-dono are getting shitfaced." Takechi said. Matako oddly nodded in agreement.

"There's nothing like taking care of some squirts.  I'm pretty natural at this y'know."  Elizabeth signed.  Katsura picked up Baby Alex and spun them around like an airplane.  The baby giggled and Katsura joined in too. Shinsuke smiled at his husband who was having the time of his life playing with the children.

'Maybe missing the party was worth this.'  Shinsuke thought as he wrapped his arms around Katsura.

------------------------------------------------------------------

"Dylan, sat there incognito watching the 4 mysterious men take the even more mysterious book away."  Dylan tilted the baseball cap to hide his face from the 4, plus the millions of his adoring fans. Steve, Joe, Billy, and Josh were all huddled at a table outside of a Starbucks.

"We're in the outside world Billy, we can say Starbucks."  Steve said. Billy looked up at disgust of the real world version of his favorite coffee shop.  Billy was twisting and turning the comic book, inspecting the outside of it, flipping through some of the pages.

"Yo, what's this?"  Joe pointed at a small signature within the front cover of the book.  It was a small hat with an unrecognizable signature attached to it. Joe snatched the book from him and nodded.

"Oh yeah, I know this.  Check it out Steve." Joe showed the signature to Steve but Steve shook his head.

"Not really sure who's that is.  I'm guessing it was the person who owned the book before me.  I know that isn't either one of my parent's signatures." Steve scratched his scruff.  Josh was sparkly eyed, admired by the coolness of his two cousins.

"It's Mr. Harvestein's.  Y'know that Captain guy our parents were friends with."  Steve was still a bit confused, but Joe realized, "Ah, yes, right.  You probably wouldn't know, since Wilford was the one who told me about him."  Billy put his hand out,

"A Captain that knows Brimley...he couldn't be the same guy.  I don't want to believe it but damn if I'm sure he is." Billy leaned back and sipped his coffee.  This perplexed Joe,

"You knew Mr. Harvestein?  How is that possible? Unless he went into the book..."  Joe rested his chin on his metallic knuckles.

"Well, I'm not sure if it's the same guy, but if I saw him I could probably tell you."  Billy said. Joe straightened up and held the book out,

"Well, let me tell you what Brimley told me a few years ago about him."  Joe said.

"So, you're taking that rickety old thing out to the Atlantic, Stephen?"  Brimley opened up his briefcase and pulled out a cigar to puff on. Stephen nodded and smiled at Brimley.

"We're not afraid of these myths of the Bermuda Triangle.  I hear there's some shit out there that'll make ya millions Wilford.  Derek's already got the funds saved up, the research equipment and everything.  Maria's got her fancy degree from college so she's got hookups." Stephen leaned back in his chair and popped open a comic book.  Wilford tipped the top of the comic book down to look Stephen dead in the eyes,

"I don't think you understand the risks of this trip Stephen.  Annabelle is due any day...you guys are so reckless." Wilford shook his head.  Stephen just chuckled as he turned the page,

"I'm going whether you like it or not Wilford.  It's fate if you will!" Stephen closed the book.  "So, you're gonna watch over both the houses right?  You're a good man you know that Brimley." Stephen packed up his stuff and began to head out the door.  Wilford got up and stopped him before he left. The large man reached into his briefcase and handed Stephen a small pistol.

"Never know when y'll need it."  Wilford patted him on the back and shut the door as Stephen waved goodbye.  Wilford sighed and walked over to the window and saw Stephen pull away in his car.  "Damn kids are gonna give this old man a heart attack with such foolishness." Wilford looked over at a picture that was sitting behind Stephen while they were talking.

"Please come back safe."

"And well that's the last time Brimley saw him.  Says our parents named you after him, Steve." Joe finished telling the story.  Steve was more fascinated and interested more than ever about what happened to his parents and Stephen on that venture out to sea.  Billy sat his coffee down and beamed his eyes directly at Dylan.

"Whatcha looking at Billy?"  Josh asked.

"Rats."  Billy responded, as a small mouse ran across the busy market area.  Dylan tipped his hat down further. "You know, that guy really really sounds familiar.  Reckon that could be the same guy from Universe 22." the three stopped and stared dead at Billy.

"You mean...he was IN in the comic book?"  Steve asked.

"Well I mean, something happened in that universe concerning a captain of some sort.  Utsuro never queued me in on a lot about why he was resetting the universe. He kinda did that on a whim.  Fuckin bastard." Billy tossed his cup in the recycling bin. "Not saying it's the same guy, because I never seen him.  He obviously never died, so at least you know he's alive. I see everyone who dies cause I hang out in hell you know." Joe nodded his head,

"We gotta get back in here.  We have to find this man, and I know exactly who to ask."  Joe said, closing the comic book. The 4 decided to take it somewhere safe so they can skadoo without anyone seeing.  Dylan lurked behind them, keeping his distance.

---------------------------------------------------------------

"Enough is e-fucking-nough.  We are GOING to Chipotle. We are GOING to eat burritos."  Sakamoto pulled out a gun and pushed it against Marco's head.  The host stepped back and snapped his fingers. The entire studio that was hosting Family Feud turned into a Chipotle.

"Better?"  Marco asked in English.  Sakamoto peaked inside the building and saw it completely empty.  Gintoki put his hand on Sakamoto's shoulder to calm him down,

"Oi Tatsuma, it's o-"  but Gintoki startled the crazed man, causing him to turn around and shoot his pistol, striking Gintoki directly in the head.  Gintoki fell to the ground, blood running from the wound.

"GINTOKI!!!"  Utsuro bent down and picked his limp student up.  "Oh that's just wonderful Tatsuma, now I have to reset the universe, again!"  Tatsuma's hand shook as he looked down at his dead friend, one of his best for a long time.

"What the fuck have I done..."  Sakamoto looked at his friend as Utsuro stood up.

"You've done the unthinkable and broke his plot armor Sakamoto Tatsuma.  I can't allow this man to die here, I'm going to be forced to reset the universe once again."  Utsuro stood up, as Oboro and Poe flanked him.

"Well Poe, I guess we gotta brace ourselves again."  Poe and Oboro nodded. Sakamoto shook his head.

"I-I..."  he aimed the gun at Utsuro.  "I can't let you do that." he fired 5 rounds right into the chest of Utsuro, sending him flying.  Oboro jumped in and sliced Tatsuma's arm clean off. Tatsuma, on pure adrenaline and instinct, pistol whipped Oboro and Poe with his one arm and shot both one time, incapacitating them.  Tatsuma dropped his gun and took out a small knife. He stabbed Oboro in his left eye and was about to stab Poe when he was grabbed from behind. It was Marco, he slugged Tatsuma and stepped on the crazed man's chest.

"Permíteme manejar esto, hombre."  Marco stepped off Tatsuma and punched Utsuro as hard as he could in one of the bullet wounds, causing it to split open and leave a huge hole.  Tatsuma was up now, holding his gun at Utsuro's head.

"Your move."  Tatsuma fired several rounds into his head and walked back.  Marco laughed and patted the crazed man on the back.

"Nice!  Now, let's get some Chipotle!"  Marco turned away from Utsuro, but it was a grave mistake,

Marco looked down at the blade going through his chest, as he was pushed off of it, leaving him in a heap.

"You won't kill me that easily with weak powers like that Marco."  Utsuro ripped the sword from Marco's chest and was about to chop his head off, but Tatsuma shot several rounds that left his barrel almost simultaneously, hitting Utsuro in his right wrist.  The power of the bullets were enough to rip his entire hand off, causing Utsuro to drop his sword. Utsuro turned to Tatsuma and flashed with lightning like speed to uppercut the man as hard as possible.  Tatsuma flew through the air, Utsuro following him in close pursuit. "Sorry Sakamoto." but as Utsuro was about to deliver a killing blow, Marco regained his composer and flew up at Utsuro with his own speed and power, knocking him flying through the Chipotle building.  Utsuro slid along the burrito station, causing meat and guac to go all over the place.

"Vamos a jugar!"  Marco came in with a barrage of punches and kicks to Utsuro, laying into the all powerful being.  He punched Utsuro through the building again, hitting his van, blowing up everyone inside. Suddenly, the Elite pulled up as the van was in pieces.  Isaburo kicked it into reverse and sped out of there,

"Nobume, we cannot go there, we have to go to the next Chipotle."  Isaburo felt a blade hit the back of his head, and veered off the road.  Utsuro recovered from the wreckage to face Marco again. His hand re-attached itself and he gripped his sword.

"Vamos!"  Marco gestured to Utsuro.  Utsuro leaped through the Chipotle and began slashing at Marco, who dodged each attack.  As they were fighting, the van began to squirm, as Tatsuma was laying on the ground after his fall.  He saw a bloody, red headed man toss the destroyed vehicle out into oncoming traffic. 

"RAAAAAAAAAAA FUCKING KILLED MY CREW!"  Kamui stormed into the Chipotle and threw his umbrella right through Marco's eyeball as he was trying to dodge both Utsuro and Kamui.  Marco fell into a heap and was about to get pounded on by Kamui, but before he could a shot rang out and Kamui looked down at his stomach and saw a bullet wound.  He turned around to face Sakamoto and was met with a bullet between the eyes. The Yato was down, for good. Utsuro looked at Marco who was struggling to his feet, removing the umbrella from his face.  He turned to see Oboro and Poe finally recovering from their bullet wounds, but Oboro's eye remained shut. He then turned to face Sakamoto again, who was aiming the gun directly at him.

"Pull the trigger Sakamoto, and see who dies first." Utsuro taunted the man. Sakamoto aimed and took fire, but at the same time, Marco threw the umbrella at Utsuro's back.  The bullets hit his weak wrist again, and the Umbrella pierced his chest.

"Oboro, the plot armors are weakening.  We need to take drastic measures." Oboro and Poe nodded in understanding.  Utsuro ripped the umbrella out from his chest and jumped through the roof of the Chipotle.  Utsuro pointed at Oboro who reached into one of his pockets and tossed something to Poe. Poe caught it in mid-air, dodging the bullets from Tatsuma.  He dropped it off into Utsuro's hands. It was a purple crystal. "I don't like wasting one of these crystals, but I have to." He smashed the crystal with his hands and struck a hand pose.  Utsuro began to hum under his breath, a sort of chant.

"What is that bastardo doing?"  Marco asked aloud.

"Summoning from beyond."  Oboro said, dashing at Marco.  Marco blocked Oboro's slash, but Poe flew through the hole in his eye, plucking out bits of the inside of his head on the way out.  Marco yelled, but was met with a swift beheading from Oboro to cease the man once and for all. Or so he thought. As Oboro and Poe turned around to face Tatsuma, Marco caught his head as it was flying through the sky.  He dropped his head and kicked it like a soccer ball, hitting Poe off of Oboro's shoulders,

"POE!"  Oboro reacted, but was ready for Tatsuma to shoot, and got out of the way.  The stray bullets hitting Marco's body. Marco walked over and picked up his head as his body was slowly healing.

"Pretty neat huh?!  I'm kinda like those guys y'know?"  Marco said, but Sakamoto's mind was racing.  The small stand still in the battle, Utsuro chanting.  He peered down at the ground again and saw Gintoki's dead body once more.  He winced but looked to see Marco screwing his head back on. Tatsuma remembered when Oboro took a crystal from his pocket and moved fast.  He ran over to Oboro and pistol whipped him at full force, robbing his small fanny pack and shoved some of the crystals, both green and purple into Marco's neck hole.

"QUE?!"  Marco yelled, but Sakamoto barrel stuffed his neck, shooting the crystals.

"TATSUMA YOU FOOL!  WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"  Oboro recovered and dug his blade into Tatsuma's guts, sending him flying while dropping the crystals.  Marco's body was reacting like crazy, light of green and purple were shooting from his body. As the light from him was intensifying, a huge beam of light formed around Utsuro.  "Finally, we shall end this." Oboro said. Utsuro was yelling at this point, the skin on his hands peeling and ripping apart as the crystal dust fussed to his palms. Suddenly a huge flow of water fell from the sky, and a man wearing a captains uniform came with it.  Utsuro collapsed to the floor of the Chipotle, while Oboro rushed to his side. The Captain was starting to gain consciousness after his fall into the comic book, and subsequently into the world of TBC. He looked up and saw Oboro and Poe standing over him. "You were the one Sensei called upon to save us, owner."  Stephen was confused, but Utsuro managed to collect himself.

"I...think he looks more like a Captain, don't you think Obo?"  Utsuro gave the three a smile, but as he did, a shot rang out and hit the Captain in the chest.  Utsuro quickly stopped the bleeding and helped the Captain up. "You've been graced by the Purple Altana, Captain.  Use it to end this." Utsuro looked as Marco was shaking violently, light shooting from his body. "There, in your waistband."  the Captain shook himself to get concentrated, he knew who these characters were. But he couldn't believe it, perhaps a dream? But, he didn't want to act irrational.

"You got it, Utsuro."  the Captain reached into his waistband and pulled out the gun Brimley gave him.  It began to glow a menacing purple aura as he aimed it at Marco and fired. The bullet sped and hit Marco, causing him to explode in a bright, colorful display of purple and green dust.  Tatsuma stood there as the dust was settling, facing the 4 in front of him, Stephen aiming his gun at Tatsuma.

"All of this over some stupid burritos."  Tatsuma threw his gun down and raised his hand.  Stephen lowered his gun to show sympathy. "I killed one of my best friends...on accident."  Tatsuma looked back at Gintoki's corpse. "It didn't have to be like this, but then that man said something about resetting the universe...or something."  Utsuro lifted his sword up and started to walk towards Tatsuma.

"Sakamoto Tatsuma of the 22nd Universe, you may have been the most powerful foe yet.  You and that game show host pushed me to my utmost limit. For that, I commend you eternally.  But, you have come in contact with these crystals. Something I cannot allow to happen. If you must, look away Captain."  Utsuro raised his sword.

"Utsuro wait!"  but Stephen's pleas were not enough.  Utsuro's blade came down over the neck of Sakamoto Tatsuma, decapitating him.  Stephen wretched away from the site, but was quickly consoled by Utsuro.

"Captain, if I may call you.  I know who you are. You read our stories, but I needed you here, now.  And, I see you have come in contact with the real world's Altana. I simply can't have you go back."  Utsuro was surprised as Stephen got defensive.

"What about my kids?!  I have to go back and see them!"  Utsuro shook his head.

"You'll be with me.  Resetting the universe as many times as I need.  You'll relive the same events over and over again, Captain until I died to end it, or I find peace with my students.  Every other universe before this, you drowned in that storm. But not here, not ever again. When you have me by your side, you'll be forever."  Utsuro said, giving him a smile. Stephen was starting to get frustrated, he raised his fist and punched Utsuro right in the jaw. Oboro readied his sword and Poe got into a kung fu stance, but Utsuro put his hand up to them.  "I understand you're resistant, but your fate is forever determined. And now, I want your fate to be intertwined with mine. Regardless, you will fall back into place when the time comes, and I'll be waiting. Waiting for as long as it takes."  Utsuro took two of the crystals and smashed them together and began chanting. Oboro grabbed onto Stephen and smiled at him,

"This is going to be a fun ride, Captain-dono,"  Oboro said with a smile.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And that's pretty much the whole story Tatsuma-san."  the three were sitting in the lobby of LilyMu towers. Sakamoto sat there, trying to take all the information in.

"Hmm, so I killed Kintoki and went completely berserk?"  Sakamoto asked. Poe and Oboro both nodded. "AHAHAHAHA! That's crazy Obo!  I would never do that to Kintoki or our friends, but I have seen what you and Utsuro were able to do, so I have no choice but to believe you!"  Oboro blushed a little but put his mask back on. The elevator opened and a mountain of beer cans spilled out of them. The Front Desk Lady rolled her eyes as her boss, Gintoki, Umibozu, and Gendo all stumbled out of the elevator.

"Ah!  That guy out there in the gimp outfit, that must be our Uber right?"  Gintoki asked, slurring his words.

"There is no doubt in my mind Yorozuya."  Ozu flung the door open and walked up to Enshou who was putting eyeliner on outside his limo.  "You must be my Uber, well, we're here so let's hit some clubs!" Ozu yelled. The rest of the Dads cheered, but Enshou was not pleased.

"You dare walk up to Prince Emperor Enshou and CLAIM THAT I DRIVE DISGUSTING PEASANTS AROUND?"  Enshou lifted Ozu up by the cruff of his plain white t-shirt, but several body guards talked Enshou and beat him senseless with nightsticks.  "GAAAH SWEETCHEEKS HELP ME!" Enshou was getting wailed on, but eventually Ozu called them off.

"Now, where should we hit first boys?"  Ozu asked. The Dads all crammed themselves inside Enshou's limo.  Sweetcheeks shrugged as him and Enshou sat in the front seat.

"Can you believe THIS shit Captain?"  Enshou's eyeliner was running and his lipstick was fucked up.  Sweetcheeks chuckled to himself, but Enshou pushed his head against the window.  "Now, laugh at me again Captain." Sweetcheeks just smirked and nodded,

"Certainly Sir."  Enshou smiled and leaned back in his seat.  Sweetcheeks looked at his phone while driving (don't do this kids!).  He got a text from Hitsugi and opened it up,

"Captain, I may be getting followed by the Globberians.  Their leader was very suspicious." Sweetcheeks opened up the attachment Hitsugi sent him.

Enshou snatched Sweetcheeks phone from him and checked out the picture.

"My, she's very pretty Captain.  She almost looks like Lady TBC if I do say."  he dropped Sweetcheek's phone in between the seats, before he could read Hitty's last two messages,

"Watch out for her, she is their leader.  Her name is Yuka." the scene cut back to Oboro, Poe, and Sakamoto heading back up to the party.  As they were standing in the elevator, Tatsuma’s phone began to ring,

“Oh, it’s Mutsu!  Y’llo?” Mutsu sighed into Sakamoto’s ear.

“Chief, Bonestein would like to speak with you.  He forgot to bring pockets, so he left his phone at home.”  Skele could be heard thanking Mutsu and getting on the line with his friend.

“Skele!  What’s up my friend?  I thought you and Mutsu were going on AHAHAHAHA! A date?”  Skele blushed on the other end, but quickly snapped out of it.

“We were but I...I got a really disturbing distress signal on my pager.”

“Skeleton Villages?  Isn’t that your homeland, the place you liberated a few years ago?”  Sakamoto asked. He remembered Gintoki talking to him about the Second Great Skeleton War he participated in over some drinks one night.

“That’s right Tatsuma.  One of the heroes requested help, and I gotta get there since it’s the place of my people, but I have no way to get there.  You dropped us off here in the park, so I have no way to get there.” Skele sounded worried over the phone but Sakamoto re-assured him.

“Don’t worry Skele, I’ll get the ship over there and assist you.  I hope you don’t mind but I’m bringing Oboro with me.” Skele let out a small nervous sigh, but he knew Oboro was powerful.

“We could use all the help we can get.  I don’t know what’s happening there, and I’m scared to find out.”  Skele hung up the phone, while Tatsuma stopped the elevator. Oboro smiled as he got to travel with Tatsuma alone, but he wasn’t sure what they would confront at Skeleton Village.

--------------------------------------------------------

“Now, THE PARTY CAN BEGIN! HA!”

Kamui and his crew entered the Penthouse and began pillaging all the finger food and punch being served.  Kamui walked over and was catching up with BUNHEAD! And talking about nothing in particular. Monika and Abuto were chilling out with the Ninja 5 as half of them were shit faced and the other half was Sonic.  Ham-san and 4th leaned against the wall, acting like the cool couple who were too good for everybody. And there stood No Man in his potato costume. He stood behind the 4 gamers, who were duking it out in Super Bario Kart.

“YOU ARE NOTHING KING DUCK!  RAJ WINS AGAIN!” Raj threw his hands up in the air, his wig flowing majestically.  Eren, who was in second place after getting hit by a Blue Shell gripped his controller so hard it began to crack.

“Alright!  THAT’S IT!”  Eren ripped Raj’s hair piece off, wigging him.

“Come now, let’s be civil.  I took 12th place and I’m doing just fine!”  Mikey said, his make up getting smeared with tears.

“Yeah right you’re fine, you’re crying your eyes out!”  No Man said. The 4 turned to him and they all gave him a weird look.  Saitama turned back,

“Anyway, we have one more track left!”  the 4 got back into position, isolating No Man again.  The sad, lonely potato sat on one of the many couches set up.  He sat next to a man wearing nothing but pixelated underwear.

“What troubles you small potato man?  Want to talk with me and Barky about it?”  No Man looked over at Barkus, who was dressed as Princess Weach.

“I’m not sure how much help I can be, I look ridiculous as is.”  Barkus showed off his dress but No Man just looked away.

“I just have a really bad feeling about something, my half ass can feel it.”  No Man put his (sticky) hand to his head. He wasn’t sure why, but something in his gut was stirring, and it wasn’t the curry Monika made last night.  The screen zooms out of the Penthouse and flies over to a large mountain looking down a small village.

“If that mammal wants to mess with the past, then I’ll just have to prevent him at all possible points.  I cannot cause such a disaster...yet. We aren’t easily defeated, so I only need to send a handful of you down there.”  the figure said to a small gathering behind her.

“GLOOP GLOP!”  the crowd chanted.

“You can’t re-write history so easy Hitsugi of the Naraku.  Not when you’re dealing with someone much higher on the pecking order of you.”  the figure turned to the crowd.

“GLOOP GLOP!”  they screamed once again.

“Raise some hell boys.  I’ll take care of Hitsugi, use yourselves as sacrifice if need be.  Don’t let anyone get in my way of bringing him down.” Yuka threw her goopy hand in the air, causing everyone else to join in on the fist pump,

“GLOOP GLOP!”

TBC

Edited October 15, 2019 by Moxley♥

[Cha]

Bold of you author to assume I’d be done with a chapter six days in advance.

[Aya♥]

3 minutes ago, Dark Overlord Enshou said:

Bold of you author to assume I’d be done with a chapter six days in advance.

to what do I owe the honor, handsome

[Cha]

The scene opens back up at the penthouse, the four gamers are still going at it.

“Come on, finish line..” Eren said but before he almost crossed it, his wife dragged him away by the top of his suit. “Awwh princess what gives?!”

“We have a family wedding to attend, Erey! Plus your mom would be furious if we didn’t. HICC.” Fumiko said while drowning the rest of the her bottle. 

“Awh man, dang Katsura.” Eren said as his butt was skidding across the floor. 

Across the room more black coats gathered around the buffet table. One super nervous in particular was overlooking two girls giggling as they were having a conversation. Yamazaki awkwardly walked up to Tama and Monika, they smiled at him.

“Hey it’s a black coat! Aargh! Ahoy matey!” Monika said giving some complimentary pirate lingo that her Chief would be proud of.

“Hello Yamazaki-sama, long time no see!” The robot maid smiled at him, causing the cop to shake and sweat even harder than he already was at that moment. 

“H-Hey!” Yamazaki pretended to lean up against an imaginary wall and proceeded to fall on his ass. He sat there stunned and unsure of what to do in this beyond uncomfortable situation so he just remained there. “You uhhh, two heard about that Exploding Feminism singer getting married? Crazy right? Haha.”  

“Ooh what a shame. I really thought you two had something for each other!” Tama exclaimed. 

The girls resumed talking amongst themselves, Yamazaki stood there in a darken void universe that not even Gonard could shake him out of.

“Who has a wedding in the middle of the late night?” Hijikata in a mayo bottle costume took some chips and hummus and then layered mayo on top of of it all. “I don’t like this one bit. Steve still hasn’t answered my messages either.” Kondo was next to the man and grabbed a sausage.

“Come on Toshi, let’s not continue the trend of making your only personality trait being worrying about Steve.” Kondo replied.

“Kondo-san what is that suppose to mean..” Hijikata said with a blank expression.

“Well in Oukoku it isn’t night time anymore! It’s already the next day!” Kondo smiled.

“You’re purposefully avoiding my question..” Hijikata replied.

“Who knows if Otae-san or Fake Otae-san need wedding dates?! Let’s go!” The gorilla grabbed his subordinates hands like a chain of monkeys and sped off. However there was one who stayed behind, Sougo was still sitting on the couch as earlier.

“Not like I was even invited..” Sougo looked at the coffee table. He then heard two bangs of cups on it, he looked up to the two people leaning up against the wall.

“Oi coconut head cherry loser.” Kagura said.

“You wanna fucking crash a lame ass wedding?” The princess asked him, Sougo smirked.

On the other side of the room, Kamui was standing in a bored slump. Shithead Shinji was busy taking forever in the bathroom so he had nothing to do. He saw some nerds in front of a TV and picked up the controller Eren left behind. 

“Ha, everyone leaving ME behind, their CAPTAIN.” Kamui pressed a few buttons, causing his player to somehow speed up past them all to the final finish.

“WHAT!!!!” Raj stood up and kicked his controller against the wall, the batteries spilling out of it.

“Woah, great move dude!” Saitama exclaimed without looking to see who the man was.

“Ha! Thanks-“ Kamui looked next to him to see Saitama. 

“Oh no..” Saitama put his hand on his forehead and braced for the worst. 

“EGGHEADED BALDDDDYYYY!!!” 

Kamui’s pure wrath caused an explosion big enough that it blew up half of Ozu’s house.
————————-

Bansai was overlooking his comfy bed’s window and still strumming, listenin’ to some classic artists when a familiar face opened the door wearing a rather fancy tuxedo suit. He quickly shot up.

“Kyu Kyu! You got my message.” Bansai got up from the bed, holding up his gown to not trip and stood in front of his best friend.

“Yes Bansai-dono, I must say, this outfit you sent for me is quite snazzy.” Kyuubei examined the outfit.

“Well thanks dud- wait NO! I meant about my attorney. You got to get me out of this, Kyu. I think that little dude is serious about going through with this!” He desperately held onto Kyuubei’s shoulders. Bansai was immediately thrown off and he splattered on the other wall. The snazzy tie in question was repositioned.

“Bansai, as Exploding Feminism’s manager you WILL go through with this wedding. Imagine the bunch of publicity this will gain. Do you know what this will do to your image? You’ll be world class royalty. You’ll be bigger in the media eye than Diana!” Kyuubei exclaimed with dramatic hands in the air. Bansai sat up against the wall.

“I-I guess you’re right..” He slid down it with uncertainty. 

“Just don’t go John and Yoko on me with your new husband. If you split up this band I’ll make sure you’ll never forget it.” His manager pointed at him and he made a big gulp. “Now if you excuse me, Otae-san is waiting for me.” 

Kyuubei left the room only to get bumped into a peculiar costume worn by an even more peculiar man by the door.

“Oh hello, Hasegawa-dono.”

“Kyuubei-san. Can I ask you something?” Hasegawa asked.

“Sure go ahead.” Kyuubei replied.

“If...I’M THE PRINCE’S BEST MAN WHY DID HE GIVE ME A SUIT MADE OUT OF CARDBOARD?!” 

Flashback to last week, Hasegawa was sitting homeless in an alley way when he looked up and saw an excited smiling kid with a weird octopus dog pet on his shoulder over him.

“Hasegawa!! There you are!” Hata beamed at the old man. “Say what are you doing here? Where’s that fancy cardboard condo you got from the paychecks I gave you for petsitting Poochie?” 

“I got a cardboard enviction notice.” Hasegawa replied and the audience laughed. Hata pulled out something inside from Poochie’s mouth and handed a slobber covered invitiation to the man. He looked at it with widened eyes.

“Y-you want me to be your best man at your wedding..?” Hasegawa was surprised. 

Not more than a year ago this kid was an unstable and egotistical prick and to him especially. Hasegawa knew recently, the prince had been more sociable and regained his lost family members. ‘He probably just had been a lonely and sad little tike’ the Madao thought to himself.

“Of course I do! You’re like, one of my best friends now! My second choice was Soyo-chan, but I couldn’t have ask her since she’s kind of gonna hate my guts once I tell her the news that I stole her man.” Hata giggled. Hasegawa smiled and stood up.

“I’d be honored to kid.” He replied and nodded.

“Really?! Thank you so much Hasegawa! But if you fail I’ll have to fire you again! I love you!” Hata beamed as he hugged the homeless man around his waist. Hasegawa’s face went dark as Hata skipped merrily away. “Karma Karma Karma Chameleooon!”

“WHY DOES HE TREAT ME SO CONDESCENDINGLY?!” Hasegawa yelled in the current timeframe.

“Uhhh, Otae-san is waiting for me..” Kyuubei sped off, leaving Madao to drown in his self pity.

Cut to minutes before the wedding was going to start inside a large church as Katsura and the gang sat there, surrounded by the prince’s pets. Hata could be seen talking to Jii, the best men and the priest at the altar. Outside of the building Oukokuan media press and screaming EF fans could be heard. 

“Hey how come the planet with the scariest duck originating from it doesn’t even have ducks. I’m so fucking confused.” Shinsuke stated.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE TWO OF MY TERRORIST BABIES WILL BE MARRIED NOW! THOUGH BANSAI-DONO MARRYING BABY ELIZABETH ALMOST FEELS LIKE TERRORIST INCEST!” Katsura loudly blew into a handkerchief.

-You know thought of Bansai being my brother-in-law gives me the willies but the bright side is that I will get our room to myself.- Elizabeth gave a thumbs up with his flipper.

“What the fuck is that.” Shinsuke pointed to the large justaway next to Elizabeth. 

“Elizabeth-dono’s off and on again girlfriend from Justawayania, Princess Sooyoung. I’m surprised you don’t keep up in the senior staff room, Shinsuke-dono.” Takechi commented and looked then looked at Matako next to him. She gave him a weird look back. “Can you believe we’re the only two terrorists here without a date Matako-ch-“

“Senpai, I’m gonna stop you there before you’re unconscious for the next five arcs.” She replied in irritated tone.

“Hey speak to me large red thing.” Shinsuke demanded of the justaway.

-She doesn’t speak, she’s telepathic you dumb shitty midget.- Elizabeth signed. Sooyoung then begun to read Shinsuke’s mind to prove it to him.

“Heheh it tickles.” Shinsuke giggled. “H-HEY! that was a private thought of my Honey you just probed in my head.” 

“And I’m just here because my wife promised me sex afterwards. WOO!” Eren cheered and resumed watching Wamily Feud on his phone with Alex and Palutena in his lap.

The orchestra started up as pets and people alike stood up for Bansai making his way inside with some help and guards surrounding him with guns, in case he tried to escape. Hata glowed and smiled as he saw his handsome bride now standing across from him. Holy Priest Barkas got out his Holy Bibble and opened it up. 

“Wait, you’re an ordained minister?” Bansai asked the man.

“Yeah sure why not.” Barkas replied. “Alright, before the author make this subplot long enough to be its own chapter, let’s get to the point. Prince Hata, World Sovereign of Oukoku besides yours truly, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“With all my heart and all my soul AND THE POWER OF WRITNEY SPEARS!” He smiled.

“And Kawakami Bansai, do you take Prince Hata to be your husband as well?” Barky asked. Sweating Bansai felt the multiple metal weapons on the back his head get tighter and then looked at the dark face Jii. 

“I-I.. yeah sure.” He replied.

“Well if no one has any objections, I shall-“ Barkas and the others then saw the doors to the church open overdramatically and there stood three individuals.

“No way in motherfucking hell are those two gonna get married.” Sougo and Soyo said in synchronization.

“And I’m just here for the grub and free screen time, uh-huh.” Kagura seriously added and adjusted her cool shades. 

Behind them was a Edo army of police officers and soldiers alike.

“You heard the Princess, let’s roll out boys.” Matsudaira said.

Yamazaki looked around at everything and scrunched his weary face.

“Pops, d-do we really have to do all of this? The couple seem so happy..” He said.

“Y-Yamazaki’s right, Pops! This seems a bit unnecessary for a harmless event-“ Kondo and Yamazaki were met by a quick old man bullet while Hijikata just exhaustingly exhaled. The Edo army flooded in with a battle cry into the church.

“Uhhh, I now pronounce you man and tree.” Barkas slammed close his book and literally dove off the stage, civilians fleeing for safety as well. Hata quickly grabbed his husband’s hand to escape to safety out into a secret exit. However Jii still stood at the altar, unphased and even smirking.

“Hmmph. To think I’d let some old geezer Earthling who sucks at bowling ruin my chance to finally retire out of this hell government after running it for so long.” Jii snapped his fingers, more men fled in on ropes from the stained-glass ceiling, shattering it on impact. Pops dropped the cigarette out of his mouth. Jii walked over, picked it up back in Pop’s frozen mouth and relit for him.

“I-impossible. The missing fourth puzzle piece.   You sensei head amanatos are Southern rap? Well this Big Poppa ain’t goin’ down without a fight, your army makes your 7-10 splits look good.” Pops snapped his fingers, more of his men had tunneled their way into the building through the ground with large machines and popped out of it, causing a lot of destruction. The old geezers armies were old cowboy style shooting up the church back and forth with each other.

Cut to an hour or so later, Bansai and Hata were in their new fancy master bedroom. Bansai was casually strumming his guitar still in his dress while a nervous Hata sat at the very edge of the opposite side of the bed and had his hands folded in his lap.

“Uhhh, I CAN’T DO THIS!” Hata ran to the restroom and slammed the door. 

Bansai looked outside the window. He could still see the audible chaos coming from the church across from the castle. The man was in deep mediation, his closest friends and his family were in a very dangerous, potentially fatal position. 

”Hmmm... Maybe I should solo.” He resumed playing the instrument.
————————————

Oboro, Tatsuma, Skele and Mutsu arrived at the base of the Skeleton Village at around 1 am, only to be greeted by a familiar lovely screaming voice.

“CHIEF BONESTEIN SKELE!” The hero flew in using her telekinesis. Tatsumaki then stood in front of the four and pointed directly in his face. “I’ve been waiting for you to arrive here for fifty eight minutes FIFTY EIGHT MINUTES! Because you’re too busy dilly dallying with your girlfriend to even care. I don’t know WHY I even bother to do low class hero jobs these days JUST for screen time. That stupid king duck dick promises me his screen time and then I have to wait entire another arc to show up while THAT dick gets all the frickin’ screen time in the worl-“

“Hello to you too Tatsumaki.” Skele got out his canteen from his backpack and poured a cup of tea for his fellow hero, she chucked it across the mountain. Mutsu’s eyes went dull.

“TORANDO! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOUR DUSTY BONES NOT TO CALL ME TATSUMAKI DURING WORK HOURS?!” Tatsumaki barked. Oboro nudged Sakamato and whispered something to him in his ear, he laughed loudly. Tatsumaki then levitated Oboro in mid-air, Poe cawing out for him. “WHAT’S SO FUNNY ALTANA MAN?”

“Woah! Woah! Come on Torando. It may be late but have a job here to do remember?” Skele said. Tatsumaki exhaled and then dropped Oboro into the mud head first. Tatsuma and Poe helped him out and to his feet.

“Hey Obo, your first dirty head from a girl! HAHAHAHAHAH!” Tatsuma laughed, Oboro joined in as well. 

“Fine. Follow me though. It would take you bozos hours to find it.” She flew off without letting them follow her. Mutsu squinted her eyes and clenched her fists.

“But I lived here most of my early life-! ah  forget it.” Skele handed them all flashlights and the gang started to walk the long mountain trail upwards to the village. Skele and Mutsu were in the front, the other goofs in the back.

“D-Did she call me your girlfriend earlier..? Not that I don’t mind.. I just... didn’t think we were.. advancing to that stage yet..” Flustered Mutsu quietly asked him, he just chuckled and blushingly rubbed the back of his boney head. He put his arm around her as they continued to walk.

“Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes ooonnn. RAAAH!” Oboro and Tatsuma were singing in the back and doing hand expressions with Poe to the song.  Skele just briefly glimpsed back at them and chuckled. He turned back to Mutsu and said quietly,

“You know, can’t see why the other guys can’t stand hanging out with Oboro. I’m starting to think he’s not such a bad guy after all.” 

“It’s not him I would be worried about if I was the other guys.” Mutsu said in a deadpan voice. Skele turned around to see Tatsuma who had put a worm through both of his nostril holes as Oboro watched with awe. Poe then slurped the worm right out of his nose. Skele turned back around again and shook his head while smirking. 

They arrived there at the small village, not much was there besides several huts were alined across from each other and hovering Tatsumaki could be heard yelling at Skele for some reason or another. It was a pretty poor community but Skele knew it was slowly making progression since his last visit not that long ago. A woman skeleton came out of one of the huts and some others followed from theirs. She came up to Skele and put a warm boney hand on his shoulder.

“You must be the hometown hero Bonestein Skele we’ve heard so much about! I’m the chief of this village. Sorry to call you here so late in the night.” She smiled, Skele beamed.

“It’s totally fine! I’m use to this sort of thing uhh, I’m sorry, I don’t remember you. Were you recently elected?” Skele asked.

“Yes I was, my name is Chief Femurson Chiaki.” A small boy ran up to her and hid behind her leg. “-and this is my son, Femurson Sharaku. Who should be in bed right now.” She joked, Skele’s eye lit up the boy’s name.

“You wouldn’t happen to know of anyone from this village with the same given name as your son’s, would you?” Skele asked.

“Yes, that was my late husband’s name, Sharaku Sr. Did you know him?” Chief Femurson asked. 

“I knew of him up until his death. He was a great man.” Skele smiled warmly. She sobberly nodded but smiled and then ushered Sharaku Jr. to go back to bed. 

“Let me show you what’s the problem with our village right now.” Femurson walked down the lines of huts, Skele and the other five following. Oboro and Tatsuma waved to some of the awake now little children as they went by but they got intimidated and ran away. 

“I don’t blame them. These guys have suffered in pretty much every universe.” Oboro stated. Mutsu looked over to Skele and sighed with empathy. 
 
They finally arrived to the end of the windy road village, and shined their flashlights at a very large yellow bolder in front of them.

“Lady, you called us all here in the middle of the night for just for a stupid painted ROCK?!” Tatsumaki asked.

“I know it looks that way but let me explain. Up until a few hours ago this thing wasn’t even here. Put aside that it’s painted to realize this thing couldn’t have landslided without one of us noticing. Every bit of natural motion in this village can be felt.” Chief Femurson told them. Skele rubbed his boney chin and nodded in agreement remembering all the landslides and earthquakes he felt there as a kid.

“Amanto influence?” He asked. 

“That’s what we’re thinking.” Femurson stated.

“I know if I had a rock that colorful I wouldn’t just be laying it around. I’d try to trade that puppy!” Tatsuma exclaimed. 

“Are we seriously debating the existence of a freakin’ rock?!” Tatsumaki was absolutely about to lose it. 

“Yes we are so deal with it.” Mutsu said in a monotone. Tatsumaki gave her a dirty look. 

“Hmmm.” Oboro and Poe went up to it and knocked on it like they would for a door. “Shave and a haircut, two Good Boy Cookies!” 

There was a few seconds of silence before it started to rumble.

“Uhhh, we didn’t do anything.” Oboro and Poe quickly backed away from it. 

The rock begun turning into a green color, into slime and then split up into thousands of round disks, everyone there went pale.

“RUN!” The Chief said. 

They looked behind them, the number of slime balls were increasing by the second.

“Glob glooby goo glob!” The Globberians yelled out. Skele looked around at his friends as he was huffing. 

“Don’t lead them to the village! We have to turn back into keep everyone safe-“ But Tatsuma was already bolting off for safety into a hut. Skele, Femurson and Mutsu facepalmed. In moments the place was flooded with endless Globberians sucking up all their materials for energy.

“You think they’re sentient?!” Oboro asked Tatsuma as he and Poe kicked several of them off their bodies. 

“I THINK I’M GONNA THROW UP!” Tatsuma ran back out of the hut, he then turned his head to Mutsu and up chucked it all onto her strawhat. She started to fume. She grabbed him by his stupid legs and begun spinning him around.

“WHY DID YOU THROW UP ON ME, YOU COWARDLY DEAD BRAIN?!” Mutsu threw him way off into the distance of the other mountains behind them.

“WHY ARE YOU GUYS DOING THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SERIOUS FIGHT?!” Skele yelled, he was slaying several of them off of him with his katana, but they sew themselves back together and came back for more. 

Several of the Skeletons were screaming or trying to feud themselves off from these monsters attacking them. Tatsumaki tried using her powers to levitate a few hundred of them off the residents but the other Globberians latched onto her head and begun sucking it. She freaked out and loss control of her telekinesis. Chief Femurson was fighting some off herself when her son came out of hiding. 

“SHARAKU!” She called out. 

But it was too late, a Globberian noticed the boy and was flying over to attack him. But Skele intervene and fell in front of the boy before he was hit. The Globberian flew into Skele’s eye sockets and down into his body. A weird sensation went through the man, his body begun to produce a blinding light around everyone until he wasn’t visible.

“What the..” Oboro said.

Everyone else looked up at him. The Globberians felt confused and possibly by natural instinct, one by one, they did the same thing to the other skeletons that one Glob had done to Skele. The whole village was lit up like the sun, as Mutsu, Tatsuma, Oboro and Poe stood there motionless.
————————-

“I dared.” The Captain said.

“I fucking hate you.” Enshou said despite having great angsty sex. 

The two (and the dads) were stationed on the outskirts of Edo in some kind of worn down drive-in movie theater. Sweetcheeks had been making it up to his prince in the secluded front seat for having to parade around those imbeciles around. While said imbecile drunk dads were chilling on top of the limo, watching some Wixar movie while crying about it. 

“NEMOS RIGHT BEHIND YOU YOU CLOWN... FISH!” Gendo cried and clung onto Umibozu, causing the bald man to choke on his popcorn. 

Sweetcheeks begun to reclothed himself, Enshou snapped his head at him. 

“HEY! Who says you’re done serving your Master Ruler?” The redhead asked.

“Sorry Sir but I gotta up for some fresh air.” He put his boots on and opened the door. Enshou sniffed the Super Sexily Dark Old Spice he was wearing. 

The Captain looked around, the dads were doing their usual nonsense thing. He put his hands on his hips and sighed out contently. However, he noticed a big bright shimmering glow in the distance of the mountains and then    a couple hundred kilometers away, he saw a green hue.

“What in the world..” He pulled out his pirate telescope that he had since the days of being in the navy and went to examine first what the green glow was.

In said mountain area, a large man with a bag strung around his shoulders was walking about. Unknown to him he was being closely followed. 

“What are you doing, Hitsugi.” The woman said.

Hitsugi turned to greet Yuka. She was less than a mile away from him now. 

“Majesty Yuka. What brings you here to Earth and in the middle of the night in the wilderness no doubt?” Hitsugi asked. 

“I could ask the same for you.” She then looked over at his bag, him noticing her doing so.

“I figured since you didn’t give me an answer back on Globbus that you weren’t interested in my deal.” Hitsugi resumed walking. “That’s fine. I think I can manage without your powers of foresight.” Suddenly a giant green hammer came down right behind him, stopping him in his tracks. 

“I’ma roll with the aliens, fuck these homosapiens, thank you Ice Cube for those provocative but accurate lyrics. Although I prefer some jazz. Author, if you may.” Yes mommy.
I then felt the quick hands of the other Globberians at my neck for making that statement and gulped.

Yuka retracted her hammer arm. She snapped her finger and foot to the beat. “I should think I kill you and take those Altana crystals in your bag anyway. As a way for you to pay back soiling our planet with your primate presence.”

Hitsugi turned to face her and then jumped up into the air and hurled raining posionous darts at her. She morphed into a shield and deflected them back to Hitsugi. He dodged them in an instant and then she turned back to normal.

“A rather pointless charade, Hitsugi. You are bound to your single fleshly chamber while I can turn into just about anything at any time and never grow tired of it.” Yuka simply straightened up her tie. 

As she was briefly distracted doing so, Hitsugi came swooping in with the claws on his glove and manage to swipe her on her good side of her face. Meanwhile on the other side of the mountain, Enshou got out of the limo and saw the Captain staring at some distant figures. The prince pushed him away and grabbed his telescope. He gasped and clutched his locket. He then grabbed the Captain by the scruff of his shirt.

“IT’S HER! IT’S HER! That woman that looks like Lady TBC!” Enshou exclaimed bewildered.

“Sir..I’ll go over there and settle things with her if you promise to stay here and-“ Enshou sped off, the Captain sighed and tried to catch up to him. Meanwhile Hitsugi still had the upperhand in their battle. They were making swipes at each other, Yuka with her green arms and Hitsugi with his claws.

“All your unlimited shapeshifting powers and yet you seem to have troubles nailing down the humaniod aspect of all things.” Hitsugi said and took another swipe to her good side of her face. She held her cheek as it oozed out goo but soon enough repaired itself. She replicated her hands into sharp katanas. 

“Why master myself to look like one of you disgusting creatures?” Yuka then clashed her sword hands with Hitsugi’s glove claws. They were equally matching each other’s blows. The two found themselves on the edge of one of the mountains. 

“Could have fooled me, looks you’re having fun masquerading as one.” He said.

With one claw defending himself against her katanas, he managed to swipe at her feet with one of his claws, causing them to temporarily cut off. She lost balance and fell off the mountain. Before Hitsugi could walk away, she extended her gooey arms at his ankles and despite his resistance, she managed to throw him over the cliff with her. Yuka gave him a hefty punch up against the side of the mountain, causing the soil on it to even crack a little and he coughed up some blood. Yuka then pinned Hitsugi’s arms and legs down. With the other free arm, Yuka reached for his Altana bag but he managed to get one leg released from her grip and heavily blowed her in the stomach with his knee. She coughed some goo up a bit but then laid punches on his face again. At nearly an unconscious state, Hitsugi put all his power in a painful head butt with her. She lost balance of her limbs and fell again. As she was falling she saw a sturdy rock protruding in the side of the mountain and reached her gooey limbs to latch onto it. Enshou had finally zoomed to the other side of the mountain and saw her from a high distance. 

“SEE! I told you she looks just like Lady TBC!” Enshou was  hopping up and down in place.

The panting Captain was close behind, keeping his eyes fixed on Hitsugi. 

‘Please don’t drop...’ He thought to himself.

Bruised up Hitsugi was trying to climb up to the submit again but then felt one of Yuka’s arm around his neck and the bag.

“I’m guessing all this rage directed at me is from hearing about my plan to go back to universe one, Yuka.” Hitsugi commented.

“Y-YUKA? I wonder...” Enshou flipped open his locket. He took the little picture out of her out and looked at the back to see some business information on it and her name was right there. “I can’t believe I never noticed this on the back of the picture before... Y-Yuka equals Lady TBC? Lady TBC equals Yuka..?” 

His eyes turned into hearts and his Twisted Black Heart fluttered as he watched her brutually strangle Hitsugi until he turned purple in the face and his eyes were bulging out. “Yuka...Oh I can’t take it anymore. COME TO THE DARK OVERLORD PAPA!” Enshou made a Flintstones scrambling away sound and zoomed up the mountain a dust bubble, the Captain trying to reach out to him. 

“SIR WAIT!” He exclaimed.

“You would be a fool to take such a grave chance of the universe, Hitsugi.” Yuka squinted her good eye as she had the upperhand on Hitsugi.

“G-Go ahead, fling me off. Take my crystals...” He choked out, taunting her. She felt like it was a trap but she didn’t know how so she did it anyway. Her arm picked up the bag for herself. Yuka then picked up Hitsugi and flung him down thousands of feet of the mountain to his death. The big man made a somewhat of a loud impact when reaching the ground, knocking down into pine trees, causing the crows around there to swarm away cawwing.  

“NOOOO!” The Captain ran to Hitsugi’s body which was only less than a mile away from him. When he finally reached it, he kneeled down beside his bleeding body. But instantly the blood disappeared. The Captain just smiled.

Yuka then used her goo limbs to reach the top of the hill, the rest of her body soon following. She walked down the hill a bit and then finally opened the bag to reveal nothing inside. She scoffed.

“That damn big bastard... I wouldn’t doubt he was lying to me from the start.” Yuka angrily tossed the bag down. A few seconds later she felt a weird sensation in her gooey stomach and looked down to see sharp claws protruding from it. She turned around, her eyes wide.

“H-Hitsugi.. I-impossible. You are but a limited mortal man.” She stared at him.

“That’s where you’re definitely wrong, Your Majesty.” Hitsugi kicked her back to the ground. She transformed back into just goo and slithered around his neck. She turned into a cobra and begun choking him.“F-face it. You can’t kill me, Yuka. My blood is Altana. I am more powerful than even you are.”   At this she ceased choking him and slithered back on the ground. She turned back into a humanoid.

“Listen Your Majesty, I’ve seen your people, your living conditions. I’ve lost family. I’m sure you’re losing your people with your poverty crisis. Why don’t you join me? Maybe our first universe was a lot kinder to us both.”

She felt the goo side of her face but quickly snapped out of it and shook her head.

“No. That would be selfish. Hitsugi, how could you say that what happened to us in this universe won’t happen in the others? Who are we to play God? As much as I despise your race, I must tell you that I can sense a great calamity for us both in the future if we continue this path. Why sacrifice ourselves for a wreckless man’s cause? What good would that do?” Yuka extended her hand to him in friendship but he got up on his own and faced the opposite direction. 

“I’m sorry, Yuka. But I can’t permit a world where everyone can’t have the happy ending they so deserved just because of these damn multiple universes and their selfish outcomes all because of that one damn man.” Hitsugi stated bitter, thinking about Utsuro. He walked away and then stood at the edge of the mountain again. Yuka followed him somewhat close behind. Hitsugi took out the Altana crystals that were stored inside his kimono. She refrained from stopping him this time. “You see Yuka, this is a special place in the comic book, the bind. It’s a bit harder than the rest of the book.” Yuka watched as he took some steps into thin air like it was nothing. She was shocked. “It’s hell to reach since the pages are always writing themselves. But thanks to our little fight here I was able to fill in enough space to make it. Utsuro told me it was the only place to spy on the outside world.” Hitsugi stared inside the bind of the book. “I can see them, I can somehow feel those detectives coming back into this comic book somewhere. Once I contact the outside world, Your Majesty, reach out to me again. If you want to change the fate of your people and whatever happened to the left of your face you keep clinging onto.” She then lost it at that.

“HOW DARE YOU MAKE SUCH CLAIMS DISGUSTING APE!” She lashed out her arms at him again but then felt someone hug her from behind, throwing off her concentration.

“LADY TBC! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE REAL! I’VE MADE UP SO MANY FAKE BACKSTORIES ABOUT ME KILLING MY BIG BROTHERS JUST TO WIN YOUR HONOR!” Enshou snuggled his head into her shoulder and clung tighter. 

“Eeh?” She said. Before she could react, a blinding light covered the woods. 

“ENSHOU!” The Captain dropped his telescope and bolted up the side of the mountain. The light died down and single figure emerged. 

“Why are you shouting Sweetcheeks. I am right here.” The figure moved up and into the moonlight where the Captain could see them.

“S-S-Sir...?” Sweekcheeks sweated in disbelief.

“I-impossible.. Globberians can’t morph with more than one other..they especially can’t with humanoids..” Yuka inside their single body said.

“You DARE take over the Sacred Temple of the Almighty Messiah Himself?! Well.. I don’t mind if it’s my Lady TBC and if she’s taking over my naughty parts.~” Enshou was then slapped by er.. himself. 

The Captain stood there, looking like he was about to faint, he made a big gulp.

Hitsugi didn’t see anyone in the outside world there after Steve, Joe, Josh and Billy ska’dooed inside. The book was dropped in some kind of alley, he was surprised Steve and the rest were careless enough to forget for someone to stay out there in the real world to look after the book. That is, until a young man appeared as he picked up it up. He looked wide eyed at it, having just witnessed those four hop inside of it like magic. Hitsugi’s interest peaked. He thought he should try to take a shot at it.

“Hey kid! Yeah you out there.” He called out. 

Dylan snapped his attention to the binder.

“Dylan was even more confused. Was this little big man with the funny eyebrows talking to him or was he dreaming? This experience might even make it to Number 14 of his supernatural countdown list, he thought.” He said.

“You like supernatural stuff, eh? Have you ever heard of a certain legend inside the Bermuda Triangle?” Hitsugi asked, Dylan raised his eyebrow.
——————-—-

Mutsu, Tatsumaki, Oboro and Tatsuma were holding their eyes from the blinding rays of the village, suddenly they ceased and the four of them opened their eyes.

“What the..” Oboro and the others were shocked beyond belief.

“I-impossible..” Tatsumaki stumbled out.

Stood before them were pointed ear humanoids. They looked down at theirselves and at each other, just as well as shocked. Mutsu got in a stance to reach in her cape for her gun. 

“Who...are you people, what did you do with the Skeletons and those green globs who were here earlier?” She asked of them. The woman in front of them stepped out and put her hands on her shoulders.

“Miss, we are them. I am Chief Femurson.” She said but Mutsu shook her head in disbelief and took her hands off of her.

”No... Those green slimes must have taken over your bodies somehow..” Mutsu backed up. Femurson’s little son Sharaku pulled on her clothes.

“No, it’s nothing like that. I feel it’s more of a... symbiotic relationship. A familiar one even though I’ve never felt it before...” Femurson felt perplexed.

“Mama, I’m starting to know things I didn’t know before.” He said, she picked him up and held him. One of the others came up to her. 

“Chief. You don’t think those legends about the origins of our people were true, do you?” The man asked. 

“The Globberian inside of me feels the same confusion, as if their memories were blurred just as the Skeleton’s.” Femurson then shook her head.” No.. that term is incorrect. We’re both Globberian. The solid foundation base and the shapeshifting liquid. Solid and liquid. Of course. They both couldn’t become humanoids without our combined lifeform. Humaniods are too complex for even the liquid globs to shapeshift into. They needed a physical base like a skeleton’s.” Mutsu and the others just felt even more confused and distant now. She turned back to them. “Forgive me. These sensations are unlike anything we have ever felt.”

“No.. it’s okay. Clearly something important has happened to you all and we’re here to help.” Mutsu commented. 

“We are heroes after all.” Tatsumaki nodded. Tatsuma stepped up and scratched his chin.

“Why do you all think you didn’t remember any of this until recently? If I recall Skele told me the Skeletons only migrated to Earth twenty years ago after the Edo borders were open.” Tatsuma said. Mutsu’s eyes widened. 

“Skele... Where’s Skele..” She begun looking around in the crowd for him. Chief Femurson continued thinking. 

“The solids or ‘Skeletons’ as they were called only lived in ships for the past two hundred years or so, their true origins history got messy after time. The liquids live much longer than that. But somehow the liquids minds were purged of remembering..” Femurson gasped. “Yuka.. our leader.”

Oboro started to think about it. 

“That name sounds familiar, am I right Poe? I remember Sensei once mentioned the Globberians in another universe. Wasn’t anything specific though.” Oboro recalled. “Well besides him saying that they were a confused people who had lost their way centuries ago.”

“Why did she do it..? Why did she make us forget all this time?” Another Globberian asked Femurson but she just shook her head.

“I think a long time ago, there was a disagreement between both the liquids and solids. Both sides wanted more power over the other in the morphs and that slowly started chaos. That must have been... two hundred years ago.. exactly after when the solids left Globbus. The liquid inside of me remembers it now. Yuka was just a little girl at the time.” The Chief couldn’t remember more, but another woman village member stepped in.

“Her own liquid and solid were close, even for symbionts. She was young and inexperienced....she didn’t realize...” The lady said. And yet another villager stepped in to finish her thought.

“One event of morphing caused some accident where the solid inside of her was permanently locked inside of her and it died. This event of a royal member snowballed the hate even more of the liquids and solids and caused a long civil war..”

Tatsuma, Oboro and Tatsumaki’s were dumbfounded at this rapid exchange of information between the Globberians.

“It led to the solids leaving the planet and when Yuka got older enough to rule the planet, the pain of losing her solid became too great. She couldn’t morph properly anymore. She didn’t want anyone else to suffer with the same longings they had for their solids, the same pain she would forever have to suffer...” Yet another villager said. 

“So she called all of the liquids together in one ball and had their memories of the solids purged. She thought it was for the best.” One painfully remembered, they all started to shutter. Oboro stepped up again,

“The question is, why did your leader Yuka bring the globs uhh I mean the liquids to this village? Did she know the Skelet- uhI mean solids were here or was it by random chance?” He asked Femurson, she shook her head.

“It’s way too coincidental for random chance. But who knows her intentions. She absolutely loves her people  but has always been so distant on a personal level”  Femurson replied. But then Sharaku spoke up. 

“Mama.. My liquid part of me is telling me something. “ He started, she nodded for him to continue. “-on Globbus when Yuka temporarily allowed visitors from other worlds.. wasn’t there a rumor that was among the crowd, a solid.. A solid visiting his home world for the first time in centuries. Maybe that’s how Yuka found out about the location of the solids through studying.. him.” Sharaku pointed in a crowd a certain still glowing man. The crowd parted. His mother was shocked but the goo inside of her remembered the man as well.

“SKELE, WHERE ARE YOU?!” Mutsu was frantically looking all over the village for him. After searching in the last hut, she fell to her knees in exhaustion and defeat. Tatsuma walked behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. She looked at what he was pointing at that was now in the center of the village, the man in his true form, had a glow illuminating still around him.   

“P-Poe... this is the weirdest day of my life..” Oboro proceeded to pass out in the bird’s arms.

“S-Skele?” Mutsu stood up, her jaw dropped.

 

TBC
 

[Aya♥]

"Boys, that was a tour de force of film making."  Gintoki wiped the tear from his eye and smiled up at the screen.  Umibozu was hugging Gendo as the two men bawled like babies,

"That reminds me of my little bunnies..."  Umibozu pulled out a picture of Kamui, Kagura, and Kouka from his wallet, but somehow the Kamui in the picture reached out and punched him.  Gendo smiled, also thinking about his two children.  Ozu sat there stoned face.

"Oi, Old Man, doesn't this move you?  Or do you hate your son so much?"  Gintoki asked.  Ozu shook his head,

"I feel...a disturbance."  Ozu said, looking in the direction of his home,

"Haven't you already tried this before?  What's your problem?  I haven't seen you in like 6 arcs and you pull the same stunt."  Saitama picked up Kamui's hand and removed it from his shoulder.  Behind Saitama, the entire back half of the apartment was blown out, chairs and other various furniture falling to the street below.  Kiyoko grabbed the Bansai tree before it fell out the hole, still recovering from the beating it took a year prior.

"See, my Sensei can not only take a blow from a pirate, but he didn't even lose his pizza hat."  Genos said to Yes Man as he was reaching for some punch before the table fell out the building.

"YOU CAN HELP BY FLYING DOWN AND GETTING OUR STUFF!"  Guano yelled at Genos.  Genos looked down at Guano and picked him up.  "What the?  PUT ME DOWN!"  Guano was struggling,

"This is your little brother, Yes Man?"  Genos asked.

"Well, not really!  But we're close enough to be brothers!"  Yes Man told his friend.  Genos nodded,

"Alright little one, I'll get your stuff."  Genos flung Guano, sending him crashing into a sea of people.  Abuto was making his way to Kamui to calm him down, but Genos stopped him.  "So, you're the little red head's right hand man?  The man who wants to defeat my Sensei so much more than even I...I say we test our strengths as those two are now."  Genos then ripped off his Maluigi overalls,

"Yare yare, I don't want to fight you hunk of tin."  Abuto said.  Most of the ladies and some of the men there aww'd and ooo'd at Geno's naked, metallic body.

"I MUST DEFEND MY SENSEI'S HONOR!"  Genos readied up his explosive arms, but stopped when Tama and Monika stepped in front of Abuto.  Genos put down his busters,

"If you're gonna blast Abuto-san away, then you're going to have to go through me!"  Monika said.  Tama nodded,

"And if you do, may I please have your number Genos-sama?"  Tama asked.  Genos cocked his eyebrow at this, but got caught with a punch from Abuto, sending him out of the building.  Sonic stood up and cheered at the defeat of one of his bitter rivals.

"HA!  GOOD ONE OSSAN!"  Kamui laughed, through a barrage of punches into Saitama.

"Can't I just game with my friends?  Why don't you just be our 4th man?"  Saitama asked Kamui.  Kamui stopped punching and crossed his arms.

"As if I would game with YOU."  Kamui stormed out of the apartment and slammed the door, causing it to explode on impact.  Kiyoko shook her head and sat down next to the drunk ninjas and Sonic.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't I look devlishly sexy, Captain?"  Enshou asked.  Sweetcheeks stared blankly as Enshou and Yuka were fighting within themselves.

"Can't you play anything that isn't Edo Pop?  I want something smooth, and fragrant.  Something your pea-sized brain couldn't understand."  Yuka said.  Sweetcheeks peered over at Hitsugi, who was still keeping in contact with Dylan.

"Well, you're apart of something smooth and fragrant right now."  Enshou pulled out his Dark Overlord Wold Spice deodorant.  Yuka tossed the stick off the cliff, into the village below.

"NOOOO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SMELL EVIL?"  Enshou yelled.  Sweetcheeks walked pasted Enshuka to speak with Hitsugi,

"Hitsugi, you know it's dangerous in that triangle.  For past universes, I've lived that tragedy many times over."  the Captain told Hitsugi.  Hitsugi turned to the Captain.

"Captain, I'm only doing what my heart believes is right.  I can't let this universe continue as is.  I've...I've lost so much in so little time."  Hitsugi turned back to the bindings.  The Captain grimaced to himself at the thought of his many trips to that dreaded place.

"You're going to make that kid journey alone to that place Hitsugi?  What about his family?"  Hitsugi put his head down at the word "family".  "We can't keep doing this Hitsugi...Utsuro died for a reason."  the Captain lamented.  "Everyone has died for a reason, or so Utsuro said."  Hitsugi turned back around and left the bindings to confront the Captain face to face.

"That nameless man did not die with reason."  Hitsugi stared at The Captain, who looked down at the mention of Kaname.

"No, he didn't Hitsugi.  Kaname did not die in vain.  You more than anyone should know that."  Hitsugi backed off from the Captain, his mind flashing back months ago,

"Here big man, I poured some scotch...it'll help take the pain away.  Free yourself if you will."

Hitsugi's memory caused him to clinch his chest, thoughts of the man sending pain to his heart.  The sentiments from Utsuro also ringing in his heart.

"He never freed me from my pain, Captain.  Utsuro was wrong, I have to do this myself."  Hitsugi stepped back to the bindings.

---------------------------------------------------

"How are you today, my little Skeleton?"  Shouyo looked down at his student,

"Good morning Sensei!  I'm doing good, well I did just get bonked on the head by Gintoki earlier!  Him and Shinsuke were fighting as usual, I just happened to get caught up in all of it!"  Shouyo put his hand on Skele's head and rubbed it playfully.

"Do you remember that lesson of Bushido I taught a few weeks ago?"  Sensei asked, and both at the same time said,  "Those who lay cannot take in the true earnestness their opponent gives them.  Share the goodwill and stand up with honor!"  Shouyo chuckled,  "You took that lesson to heart today, breaking up their fighting and being a hero in your own right."  Sensei ushered Skele into his private room, where Shouyo would read and talk to his students personally.

"Why are we coming here?  Usually the bad kids like Shinsuke come here...did I do something wrong Sensei?"  Skele asked.  Shouyo shook his head and sat down on his futon.

"As I said Bonestein, you were heroic today.  I just wanted to share a personal lesson with you, one I hope you can remember when the time comes.  "Just as we have two eyes,"" Sensei playfully put his fingers in Skele's eye sockets.  Skele giggled, but listened intently. ""and two feet,""  Sensei plucked one of Skele's toes off, before putting it back into place, ""Duality is part of life."  Some people may not be born with two eyes, two legs, two arms, two ears; but they are born with duality.  It dwells in every being, Bonestein.  Whether it be good, evil.  Right or left.  Liquids to Solids, we are all apart of two halves.  Do you remember the day I found you, I'm sure it's a hard memory to bare, but it was one of the happiest days of my life."  Skele looked down, remembering the slaughtering of his family.  "It's OK my sweet student.  In some ways, their spirits live on.  I say that it was one of the happiest days of my life, because I got to meet you, and have the chance to be called your teacher.  You will be more important in you life than I could ever be in this world.  That's why I saved you that day, because you are not only special to me, but you're special to your friends-"  Skele peered out of the room and saw Katsura, Shinsuke, and Gintoki all playing in the courtyard with the other students.  Skele smiled as Shouyo continued,  "You will be special to your future family, once you've grown up and helped your people."  Skele's mind went to those who survived the attack on his village, the bodies that lay in dust and scattered bones.  "Not through revenge, or hatred.  You are my sweetest student, and I cannot let hatred take over the nice side of you as it has me before."  Shouyo sat up and put his arm into his kimono.  He pulled out a small medallion and handed it to Skele,

Skele's eye sockets widened as he recognized the necklace,

"I wanted to keep this until you were a bit older, but I thought now would be a better time than ever to give this back."  Skele took the necklace and placed it around his neck,

"My father's amulet..."  Skele stood up and rushed at Shoyou's leg, giving it a tight hug.  Shoyou smiled, bending down to give Skele a proper hug.

Skele looked down at his necklace,

'It's just like my father's.' but quickly his thoughts were interrupted by the embrace of Mutsu as she run into him with a hug.

"Bonestein, I'm so glad you're okay."  Skele accepted Mutsu's embrace and hugged her back.  Tatsuma, who was laughing, also walked up to him with Oboro and Poe in tow.

"AHAHAHA!  SKELE!  You look great with skin!"  Tatsuma said, but Mutsu punched him backwards, still holding onto Skele.

"Bonestein, to think you could have flesh just like the rest of us.  How does it feel?  I no other universe have I seen you like this, nor has Sensei told me this was possible."  Oboro said, Poe fly up to Skele, inspecting him, picking at his flesh.  Skele winced but shoo'd the crow away.

"Well, I didn't know I could do this either, until my liquid self fused with my solid form...hmph."  Skele remembered back to Sensei's duality speech, knowing well that Utsuro knew of his other half.  He held his head as the memories of his liquid self were coming back.  As if he's lived two lives all at once.  Tatsumaki landed on the ground next to Skele and Mutsu,

"Bonestein, do you think everything here is...settled?  It doesn't seem like there's anything hostile."  Tatsumaki said.  Skele stared up at the cliff, seeing the faint silhouettes of 3 people.

"Why did Yuka want us to merge ourselves...why now?  She has to have a purpose for reuniting us all here."  the scene shifts back over to Yuka and Enshou still fighting within themselves.

"WOULD YOU JUST GET OUT OF MY BODY ALREADY!"  Yuka yelled.  Enshou shook his, er, their head.

"You're in MY body.  HOW I CAN I BE IN YOURS!  Sweetcheeks, REMOVE THIS WOMAN FROM ME THIS INSTANT!"  Enshou yelled.  As they were arguing, they could hear a song coming from where Hitsugi was standing,

"Dylan sat there at the Starbucks, trying to process what the ugly man was telling him."  Dylan said to Hitsugi.  Hitsugi ignored the comment, but moved on with his explanation.

"Look, I've been researching this for years.  You're the only one who can do this, now that those detectives and Billy have entered the comic."  Hitsugi said, rubbing his temple.  Dylan leaned back, and flipped through the comic book.

"It seems he found some very funny parts to this story.  Maybe, Dylan wanted to be apart of this."  Hitsugi shook his head,

"You don't have the fundamentals, or the power to skadoo.  You'll only be able to if you just go to Bermuda."  Hitsugi further explained.  Dylan's interested peaked at this,

"Skadoo?  Dylan stood up and began to wonder about this crazy power.  Maybe, he could use it for other reasons."  Dylan said, perhaps accidentally out-loud.  Hitsugi's eyes narrowed at this, but he knew this was his only shot at getting those crystals.  "Alright, Dylan made the deal with the strange man from the book.  Number 11, the Deal is Sealed."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The chapel was becoming a warzone, but no casualties.  The Shinsengumi was throwing water balloons, and shooting paint balls at the Oukoku's, while they were doing the same.

"YOU'RE NOTHIN OLD MAN!  GIVE IT UP AND GIVE US THE GUITARIST!"  Pops yelled, hiding behind one of the pews.  He looked to his left and saw Kondo with a huge gash, and red paint.

"They got me good Pops...but this old Gorilla doesn't go down easily."  he fell into Matsudaria's lap,

"KONDO-SAN!"  Pop yelled, throwing water balloons in a fury at the Oukoku.  But in the midst of it all, a light shot down in the middle of them, halting the action.

Both sides just stared as the 4 men appeared in the room, the light leaving them.

"Well, we picked an interesting place to jump into, what the hell is happening?"  Joe asked.  It wasn't mere seconds until Steve locked eyes with Hijikata, who was standing by the doors of the chapel.

"STEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVEEEEE!"

"TOSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

The two friends hugged each other and did a sick handshake to end it on.  Joe just face palmed and walked over to greet Toshi like a normal human being.  Yet, they also did a sick ass handshake.  Josh face palmed at that and sat at one of the pews.

"What the hell is happening in here?"  Josh asked Barkas, who was trapped under a different pew.

"HOW ABOUT YOU HELP ME OUT OF THIS AND I'LL TELL YOU!"  Barkas yelled.  Josh heaved the pew up and helped Barkas to his feet.

"I don't know, that princess...wait where did she go?"  Matsudaria looked around, but didn't see her nor Sougo.  He spotted Kagura clinging onto Billy's jacket,

"WOAH DUDE, HANDS OFF THE MERCH!"  Billy said, but Kagura had an iron grip on him.

"Soyo and that stupid coconut head left to the castle, uh-huh!"  Kagura said, as Billy shot fire out of his mouth in sheer rage, trying to kick Kagura off of him.  Barkas's face with dark, as did Yamazaki's.

"That isn't good at all."  Barkas said, hustling out of the chapel,

"I can understand wanting to roleplay Bansai~but can't I at least know what I'm roleplaying as?"  Hata asked.  Bansai managed to get Hata out of the bathroom and slip on his emergency Yammy mask that he sometimes uses for pillows.

"It adds the the surprise man."  Bansai said, strumming on his guitar.  But, their serenity was interrupted by the bedroom door getting kicked in by Soyo and a bazooka blowing up the window next to Bansai's head.  "WHAT THE HELL!"  Bansai yelled.  Hata was confused, trying to take off the mask, but couldn't remove it.

"What is this mask Bansai?!"  Hata bumped into the wall and fell over, while Soyo stood over her friend's body.

"You're too easy Hata.  I'll be taking your bride now."  she stepped over him and hugged Bansai who looked down at her in surprise.  Sougo climbed through the window and handcuffed Bansai.

"So like, you're a terrorists.  I'm kind of obligated to arrest you, but I'm also doing it for Princess Soyo.  As for you,"  Sougo bent down to face Hata, still wearing the Yamazaki mask.  "I might have to place you under arrest for kidnapping."  as Sougo was slapping the cuffs on Hata, Barkas rushed to the bedroom door,

"What are you doing to my little brother?"  he asked.  Sougo just looked at him deadpan and maced him.

"Let's blow this Popsicle stand Hime-sama."  Sougo said.  The two took their "suspects" out of the room and hopped in their space limo, without the Oukoku, nor the Shinsengumi seeing them.

"Who the hell is driving us?"  Bansai asked.  The divider window rolled down,

"I'm sorry Barkas's little brother, but my little sister tricked me into doing this.  He's gonna kick my butt for this."

"IT'S THE SHOGUNNNNNN!"  Bansai yelled.  Back in the church, Joe, Steve, and Josh met up with Katsura and Shinsuke who were sitting on the steps of the chapel.

"Remember our wedding day Honey?"  Shinsuke asked, holding his husband's hand.  Katsura swung their arms up and down and nodded,

"Happiest day of my life.  Oh, hello Steve-dono, Joe-dono, Josh-dono.  I don't believe we've been formally introduced Josh-dono."  Katsura stuck his free hand out to shake Josh's, as Shinsuke did the same.

"It's nice to see you two, but we've got some serious issues to look into."  Joe said.  Katsura looked puzzled.

"Do you two know of a naval looking guy, like a Captain?"  Steve asked.  Shinsuke spoke up,

"Yeah, there's that dude who works for that idiot Prince...uh Genshou?"  he asked,

"No, you're thinking of Gunso, Weroro Gunso."  Katsura had a thought bubble of him cuddling a plushy of Weroro Gunso,

"No, that wasn't it Honey.  It was Enshou, that's it.  I tried to get that stupid idiot's name out of my head.  He's down in Edo right now at that Lilymu Party or whatever.  I was invited, but I had babysitting duty.  Tough, I know."  Shinsuke said, kissing Zura's hand as they swung.  Joe and Steve nodded, as they knew they had to go to Edo.

"We can take you guys there, we were going to leave after the wedding was over with."  Zura said, hurrying Matako, Takechi, and Elizabeth onto the ship.  The other 4 followed, Steve looking back as Hijikata waved to him.

"Toshi, should we follow them just in case?"  Kondo asked.  Toshi nodded,

"Those guys are never up to any good, so we probably should...better yet we should find out what the hell Sougo was doing."  Toshi said, lighting a cigarette.  Yamazaki scrawled out of the church, breathing a sigh of relief he was spared from Bansai.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"ENOUGH!"  Yuka finally snapped and forced herself free from the darkness, the evil bottomless pit that was Enshou's body.  Enshou laid on the ground, and pulled out a cigarette.  He sat up and lit the cig, puffing a large trail of smoke at Yuka.

"You're one hell of a lover Lady TBC...dare I say better than Captain Sweetcheeks."  The Captain looked dejectedly at the ground at this comment.  Yuka walked over and lifted Enshou up with her glob hand, high above head.  "WOAH NILLY!"  Enshou yelled, stilling holding the cigarette in his mouth.  She tossed him towards Hitsugi, who caught him with one hand, dangling Enshou from his jacket over the cliff.  "HELP MY SWEETCHEEKS!"  Enshou yelled.  Sweetcheeks gulped as he looked to his left and saw a violently angry Yuka, and to his right, Enshou flailing like a fish with Hitsugi at the bindings of the book.

"Out of my way Old Human, you are no concern of mine."  Yuka said, sending her glob form arm past Sweetcheeks to get to Hitsugi, but Sweetcheeks stepped on her arm, causing her to stop and face him.

"I...I can't let you stop him.  Not after what you did to Enshou."  Sweetcheeks stood his ground against the Globberian.  She retracted her arm and narrowed her eyes at the Captain.  She flung her arm and grabbed the Captain by the neck, catching him off guard.  She lifted him up high in the air as well.  Hitsugi stopped his communication with Dylan and snapped around to see Sweetcheeks being strangled in the air,

"Let him go!  YUKA!"  Hitsugi yelled, but Yuka wasn't budging.

"Give me the crystals Hitsugi, or I end this pathetic human's life."  Yuka said.  Enshou was kicking and squirming, finally breaking free and barely landing on the cliffside.

"Enshou...wait..."  Sweetcheeks could barely stop, but Enshou was transfixed with Yuka.  He ran up to her, causing her to turn her head at him,

"Oh Lady TBC...how you've woah'd me so!  I say...we work together."  she raised her non liquid eyebrow at this.  "Y'know, like partners in crime!"  Enshou said, excitedly.  "LLLLovers in crime~" at this, Yuka's head morphed into a sword and stabbed Enshou in the shoulder, knocking him to the ground.  "OOOOHHH YEEEAAHHHH!"  Enshou yelled, as he rolled around in his own blood.

"Filthy pigs.  You'll never understand what my people have went through.  You'll never understand what I've been through."  Yuka lifted up the lapel on her jacket,  "You'll never understand this."  she turned back to the Captain, who was still struggling.  "Well Hitsugi, are you going to hand over the crystals, or what?  I'm doing this for your own good."  Hitsugi stared at her, then at the crystals in his hand.

"I cannot allow that Yuka.  I have to free myself."  Hitsugi looked up to see Dylan rushing through an airport to board a flight to Bermuda.  He nodded.  "To free myself, and everyone who's suffered at his hands."  Yuka sighed and flung the Captain way into the distance, near the village.  Hitsugi's eyes widened but as he was watching the Captain's body fly through the air, he saw a familiar bird swoop in and catch him.

"CAW!"  Poe said, with a mouthful of the Captain's shirt.  He circled down and placed him in front of Oboro and the others.  The Captain looked at all the Skeleton people around them, now in their complete form.  He turned to face Skele, who he's seen before, and turned back.

"Is this why she wants to stop Hitsugi?  What is her motive for causing this chaos..."  the Captain brushed himself off, and started to head back for the cliff, but was stopped by Oboro.

"Captain, you're injured enough.  You can't go back against her, think about her people here."  Oboro said, the Captain looking at all the Liquids and Solids feeling their bodies and talking among themselves.

"I have to stop her and Hitsugi from doing something they'd regret...I have to get up there."  Oboro's eyes darkened,

"Hitsugi-dono...is alive?"  he couldn't believe it.  Sweetcheeks began to head back,

"I'm the only man who can prevent this Oboro.  Don't try and stop me again.  Thank you Poe, you saved my ass back there."  Poe saluted the Captain as he walked off.  Oboro stirred in his thoughts about Hitsugi, as the Captain began a mad dash towards the hill.  Yuka was nearing Hitsugi, moving as fast as she could with her form.  Hitsugi held his ground slicing at her goop, but it wasn't enough.  She wrapped herself around both of Hitsugi's arms, but he still wouldn't let go of the crystals.

"HAND THEM OVER PIG!"  she yelled, but as she said this she turned her head and saw a pink laser slash through both of Hitsugi's arms, causing them to fall to the forest below,

"No one lays their hands on Lady TBC."  Hitsugi was stunned as blood poured from his wounds.  Yuka took back to her regular form and stood at the edge of the cliff.

"I kind of hand him beat you know."  Yuka said to Enshou.  Enshou shook his head.  Hitsugi fell to the forest below himself, not able to maintain speaking through the binding without the crystals.  The Captain reached the cliff but it was too late.  She turned to the Captain,  "It's too late Captain.  I've disposed of Hitsugi, he's no longer a pest in my plan.  That just leaves you."  she eyed him, but Enshou stepped in between them.

"I...I'm sorry Lady TBC.  Don't hurt Sweetcheeks.  Only I'm allowed to do that, in bed."  Yuka's face went dark as she shoved Enshou out of the way.

"My people are happy now Captain.  They're complete, and that makes me happy.  I, however, will never be happy.  The pain the solids have done to the liquids is enough suffering.  I know you saw I and Hitsugi's battle earlier.  It's never peaceful, nothing can ever end peacefully.  I don't know what you're trying to prove here, by standing defiant against me; a leader who's helped her people find their missing halves."  Stephen looked past Yuka at Enshou, who was face down on the ground.

"Hitsugi and I go back, farther back than you can even imagine."  Yuka cut him off,

"Of course I can imagine.  My ability to have foresight and past foresight.  Hitsugi's plan to use me was pitiful."  Stephen shook his head,

"You may view me and Hitsugi as nothing more than pests in your grand vision, but we're more than that.  He's someone who's hurt, deep down.  Enshou cutting his arms off is the least pain he's probably felt in his life."  Yuka interrupted again,

"Yet you don't think I've dealt with loss, and the pain of losing something you've loved most dear.  Lose something as much as half of yourself, then maybe I can muster up empathy."  Yuka said.  Stephen's eyes darkened.

"And you don't consider losing your loved ones...your blood over and over and over again...just to fulfill what someone considers the "perfect" life...bullshit Yuka.  You're just as selfish as me or Hitsugi, or any other human here in Edo-"  Yuka grabbed Stephen and tossed him on top of Enshou, leaving the two men in a heap.  Sweetcheeks looked up from the ground,

"I think our little conversation is over Captain.  I'm going to go and meet with my people before any more road blocks get in my way."  Yuka began to walk down hill as Sweetcheeks managed to crawl to the edge of the cliff where Hitsugi fell.  Stuck in the rocks off the cliff was Hitsugi's left hand, perhaps thrusting it into the wall with his blades at the last second before he hit the Earth.

"Tricky bastard, as he always was.  I'll be sure to get you back up here later."  Stephen said to himself as he ripped Hitsugi's arm out of the cliff, collecting the crystals in his pocket.

TBC

[Aya♥]

Forgive me lord, but I must get to the next page no matter the consequences.