Fanfiction Reruns

[4EverGreen]

Sniz is in the cock-pit, and says: “Last time on Total Cartoon Global Cruise, I was in a bit of a…funk, so to speak; so General Barracuda took command with a REALLY awesome challenge idea! He took the remaining contestants to Germany, where they had to engage each other in an authentic World War II air-plane challenge! But when Zarbon found out that he WASN’T going to get to KILL anybody, he got MAD and made the ERRONEOUS mistake of SINGING Captain Retro’s fur! Bad idea, Zarbon! Because of this, Captain Retro systematically CREAMED everyone else in the challenge, and won himself immunity! Wally didn’t like it that Zarbon targeted Captain Retro the way he did; and Wally PUNCHED Zarbon right in the face! It’s always the NICE ones, you got to beware of, huh? Not even waiting for an Elimination Ceremony, Wally decided to quit being a contestant, rather than give Bulma the satisfaction of voting him off! We are now FINALLY down to the top ten contestants; and before everything is said and done, one more contestant will be eliminated and sent packing out of the show. It’s anyone’s guess as to who will survive this time, and get one step closer to winning a $44.44 million grand prize pay-off! So join us, on a Canadian-themed version of Total Cartoon Global Cruise! Eh?” /

Instead of the usual show open, a montage of MANY of the contestants, eliminated and still in the contest, are show-cased, all while a ROCKING song by Alanis Morissette is played in the back-ground! / Genre: Pop Rock. Sub-genre: Alanis Morissette. Song: “You Learn.” Sung by: Alanis Morissette! / “Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I, recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone; yeah. I recommend walking around naked in your living room. Swallow it down! (What a jagged little pill). It feels so good! (Swimming in your stomach). Wait until the dust settles! You live, you learn. You love, you learn. You cry, you learn. You lose, you learn. You bleed, you learn. You scream, you learn! I recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone. I certainly do! I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth, at any time! Feel free! Throw it down! (The caution blocks you from the wind). Hold it up! (To the rays). You wait and see when the smoke clears! You live, you learn! You love, you learn! You cry, you learn! You lose, you learn! You bleed, you learn! You scream, you learn! Aye, you learn! Aye, you learn! Woah! Aye, you learn! (Instrumental solo) You learn! You learn! Wear it out! (The way a three-year-old would do). Melt it down. (You're gonna have to eventually anyway). The fire trucks are coming up around the bend! You live, you learn. You love, you learn! You cry, you learn! You lose, you learn! You bleed, you learn! You scream, you learn! You grieve, you learn. You choke, you learn. You laugh, you learn. You choose, you learn. You pray, you learn. You ask, you learn. You live, you learn!” / And the epic song ends! /

“I Will Not Go Quietly!” / The plane is in transit, and Zarbon is still wincing from the bruise that Wally gave him in his left eye, covered by his black eye-patch. Zarbon asks: “Bulma, did you know that monkeys COULD even throw a punch THAT strong?!” Bulma says: “I never personally MET one before that was THAT strong, so this one took me COMPLETELY by surprise!” Zarbon sulks and says: “It’s all because of that STUPID Captain Retro, and his STUPID ‘friendships!’ If WE had friends like that, Captain Retro wouldn’t BE so smug and secure in First Class!” Bulma scoffs and says: “If WE had friends like THAT, they’d all want a piece of OUR $44.44 million that WE’RE never going to let them see a PENNY of!” Zarbon says: “Captain Retro should NOT have lasted this long! This can only end one way; Captain Retro and I will HAVE to meet on the field of battle and SETTLE this once and for all!” Bulma screams: “You are not meeting ANYBODY on ANY field of BATTLE! I NEED YOU HERE!!!!” And Zarbon winces from Bulma’s yell! Zarbon asks: “SHEESH! What are you trying to DO?! Make my EARS as useless as my left eye?! You don’t have to SCREAM that loud!!!!” Bulma loudly says: “I’m TRYING to make a POINT to you! You know full-well that Sniz will hit you with penalty votes if you do as much, as PINCH Captain Retro! Wally would’ve gotten penalty votes for PUNCHING you, if he didn’t decide to quit!” Zarbon says: “All I’m saying is, if we don’t take care of Captain Retro SOON, we won’t be able to do it at ALL!”

Bulma indifferently says: “Captain Retro is just a minor inconvenience! No more, no less. I have no doubt that sooner or later, he’s going to run out of allies he can fall back on. Once he does, we’ll be able to handle him with KID gloves!” Zarbon asks: “And you are SURE about this, BECAUSE?!” Bulma chuckles and says: “That would be TELLING, wouldn’t it?! I want to GIVE Captain Retro the element, of surprise! It will make his blind-side all the more CONVINCING!!!!” (Confessional) Bulma says: “Zarbon has been asking me a LOT of questions, and I’m SICK of IT!!!! Not that it’s HARD for me to LIE to Zarbon and have him BUY whatever I tell him, but I THINK that he’s starting to get suspicious! Not to mention, that I’ve been having to get a LOT more physical in my ‘show-mance’ with him, just to keep him off my back! Not that it’s the most DEGRADING thing I’ve ever done, but I could do so many other, BETTER things with my time that DON’T involve getting intimate with ZARBON; even if he DOES have a body sculpted like the GODS!!!! Lucky for me, the thought of me MARRYING the no-nonsense Vegeta, helps keep my mind DISTRACTED from the man-candy that IS Zarbon!” / Zarbon says: “You would think that after all this time together, Bulma would trust me with ANYTHING, but she’s still keeping to herself! Don’t get me wrong; she’s the best LOVER I’ve ever had, and I wouldn’t trade her for anything! Granted, she has a few quirks I could LIVE without; but I suppose that’s what a real relationship is all about. You’ve got to take the bad, with the good. And believe me; Bulma is very, VERY good!” (End Confessional)

Captain Retro is in the V.I.P. Lounge with Rocko, Reggie, Chameleon, and Dudley. Captain Retro says: “You guys, I think the time of reckoning for Zarbon is drawing near.” Dudley asks: “Why would you think that?” Captain Retro says: “Bulma is running out of excuses she can TELL Zarbon; and more importantly, running out of patience, for his inability to eliminate who she REALLY wants to target!” Rocko says: “Our plan is working then! We’re wearing Bulma down! It won’t be too long before she eliminates Zarbon!” Reggie asks: “But how COULD Bulma eliminate Zarbon?! She’s a GENIUS, but she’s NOT strong! If Zarbon’s in perfect health when he gets eliminated, he might try to KILL everybody! After all, he’d have nothing ELSE to lose by THAT point!” Dudley says: “Unless Bulma TRIES to convince Captain Retro to fight it out with Zarbon! She KNOWS that Zarbon WANTS to fight with Captain Retro! And if the right opportunity were to arise, she’d LET Zarbon knock himself out in a fight with Captain Retro, and CLAIM that Captain Retro was acting in self-defense! And Zarbon is SO stubborn, he won’t stop TRYING to fight unless his body is COMPLETELY broken, which will play RIGHT into Bulma’s hands! After all, if Zarbon CAN’T fight, how could he POSSIBLY stop his own elimination?!” Captain Retro says: “That’s a very accurate observation. Bulma MIGHT decide to try to befriend me, in an attempt to save her OWN game. However, I REFUSE to play into Bulma’s hands!” Reggie says: “But we NEED Zarbon eliminated! It’s the only way that a member of the Retro alliance will have a CHANCE of winning the $44.44 million pay-off!” Captain Retro says: “Which is why I will need some help. Chameleon?” Chameleon asks: “You want ME?!” Captain Retro asks: “You can change into ANYTHING while you wear that suit of yours, right?” Chameleon says: “Absolutely!” Captain Retro asks: “Can you imitate their voice?” Chameleon reluctantly admits: “Not really, no.” Captain Retro says: “Then you’ll just have to be mute for the plan I’m planning. As long as Zarbon GOES for this plan, that’s all that matters!” Rocko asks: “Don’t keep us in suspense! What plan?!” Captain Retro says: “I use the PERFECT decoy! If Zarbon ever tries to start a fight with ME; I step out and let CHAMELEON turn INTO me, and fight Zarbon in my place!” Reggie says: “I like that plan!” Dudley says: “It sounds awfully dangerous!” Chameleon says: “But I don’t want Zarbon getting the $44.44 million, just as much as you guys! I’ll do this plan! When do you think Zarbon will try to fight you?” Captain Retro says: “Not yet, but soon. When Bulma can’t afford for Zarbon to stick around any longer, that’s when she’ll order Zarbon to go after me! That’s when we can make our move!” Rocko asks: “You DO realize this plan will only WORK if Chameleon is still IN the competition WITH you when Zarbon tries to attack you?” Captain Retro says: “That’s why you’ve got to interfere with Bulma’s plans.” Dudley asks: “What do you mean by that?” Reggie REALIZES and she says: “You need a couple of contestants to end their games, and keep Bulma from TARGETING Chameleon, don’t you?!”

Captain Retro says: “I can’t ASK any of you to do that for me; a good friend wouldn’t do that under any circumstances. Bulma and Zarbon BOTH need to learn about humility, and why they should be HONEST to others. This whole plan hinges on YOU guys! You need to be the ones, to make the call.” Rocko sighs and says: “I’ll go first. Reggie must carry on in my place.” Dudley says: “I’m willing to go, since it will help get Zarbon AND Bulma out!” Captain Retro says: “Very well, then. But keep yourselves out of trouble, and DON’T do anything to make Zarbon or Bulma suspicious of our motives! We’ll need the element of surprise on our side if we are to make this plan work.” Reggie says: “Agreed! Rocko, are you sure you’re all right doing this for me?!” Rocko says: “I’ve already MADE the Final Six TWICE; missing out on it ONCE isn’t going to be the end of the world for me.” Reggie hugs Rocko, and she says: “Rocko, I LOVE you!” Rocko humbly says: “I know.” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “We finally have a plan in place, for dealing with Zarbon and Bulma. That’s the EASY part! The hard part will be making sure we can carry out this plan! I admire Rocko and Dudley for putting themselves into Bulma’s line of fire. Even SHE won’t suspect that I’m trying to out-play her! How could she?! She thinks she knows EVERYTHING!!!! But in this case, what Bulma doesn’t know, COULD hurt her! Or at the very least, hurt her game-play as a contestant!” / Rocko says: “I already know how I’m going to make SURE that Bulma and Zarbon target ME first! I’m going to raise as many WARNINGS to Zarbon that I can, about how Bulma doesn’t really LOVE him, and is only USING him to get further in the game! I don’t know if it will help Zarbon out, but it will certainly make Bulma all too eager to get ME out of the game! I may leave the game, but I will definitely make SOME sort of impact once I do!” / Dudley says: “I think both Kitty and Keswick will be proud of me for doing what I’m about to do. I think I’ve matured a LOT since my first days at the T.U.F.F. agency! They’ll probably give me a medal of honor of sometime once I get home.” / Chameleon excitedly says: “I’m going to get to transform into a SUPERHERO!!!! That’s AWESOME!!!! And with any luck, with Zarbon and Bulma gone, I’ll be going to the Final Five! I’LL be GOING to the FINAL five!!!! I wonder what will happen, THEN?!” (End Confessional)

Sniz’s voice comes over the inter-com speakers, and in a faux Canadian accent; Sniz says: “Attention, eh? We’re going to the land of Canada, eh? The land where they say ‘aboot’ instead of ‘about,’ measure their distance in kilometers, and where their Canadian bacon is actually ham! We’ll be starting off with a nice canoe ride to Newfoundland, and after that, you’ll be in a lumber-jack competition, which will be finished off with a totem based challenge; that will TEST your memory skills! The contestant that finishes first, will get the V.I.P. Lounge treatment, and be safe from the impending Elimination Ceremony! Needless to say, SOMEONE will be eliminated before all is said and done, so I want to see you put your game faces on, eh? We’ll be landing in about an hour, so take this time to unwind, relax, and mentally prepare yourselves. I want you all performing at your best! Sniz, out!” Upon hearing this, Suzie sighs and says: “Oh, goodie! Another physical competition!” Patrick asks: “What’s the matter? Don’t you like physical challenges?” Suzie says: “I understand why YOU like them; you’re an untapped source of RAW muscle; that can really DO things when you put your mind to it! Me; I’m not cut out for the rugged life of a lumber-jack, I was hoping for these challenges to be more musically based!” Skipper says: “That’s why my motto is; ‘Hope for the best, prepare for the worst’!” Suzie says: “That’s not a motto, that’s common sense!” Patrick says: “Even I could have told you that! Look Suzie; you’re a good contestant! I’m willing to help you out!” Suzie asks: “Why would you be willing to do that?” Patrick says: “Well, despite the fact that we don’t really GO well together, we make a pretty good combination when we put our differences aside. You help me focus on what I need to do, I give you the endurance YOU need to do things! If you want, I could help you get to the Final Three!” Skipper asks: “And WHY would you EVER do THAT?!” Patrick says: “Because I want a nice, friendly competition at the Final Three. Not EVERYONE has some nefarious plan up their sleeves, Skipper!” (Confessional) Patrick says: “If you ask me, Skipper is taking this game MUCH too seriously!” /

Skipper mockingly says: “Not everyone has some nefarious plan up their SLEEVES, Skipper!” Than he seriously says: “That Patrick is acting so NICE!!!! NOBODY acts THAT nice without having an ulterior motive! He’s up to something, and I’m going to find out what it is!” / Suzie sighs and says: “So, my entire game plan is boiling down, to letting Patrick be MY physical half, and help me do well in challenges, while I be his mental half and help him focus on the game. Not the winning strategy I was PERSONALLY hoping for, but if it helps me get to the Final Three, than I’m all for it! I just got to keep my wits about me, and keep a level-head about this thing. This game is not over yet, and I will need all the energy I can muster, if I want to win in the home stretch! Suzie Carmichael has got this game in the BAG, baby! Tommy and Chuckie are going to be SO impressed when I get back home, as a winner!” (End Confessional) / (Commercial Break) /

Skipper decides to go up to the cock-pit, to see if he can get some answers from somebody! Skipper says: “If everyone else expects me to just let Patrick completely slip on FREE into the Final Three, I won’t LET him! There’s only ONE guy who deserves to be in the Final Three, and it IS going to be me! Hayden PROMISED me that I WOULD get, and why would HE be wrong?! He’s…Hayden!!!!” But Skipper is STOPPED by a brand NEW Steel Door, installed in the cock-pit doorway! Skipper groans and says: “Oh, MAN!!!! Why did you have to REPLACE that Steel Door?! No matter, I’m STILL going forward!” Skipper knocks on the door and says: “Open UP, Fondue! I need to have a TALK with you!” Fondue yells: “We don’t have TALKS with UNIMPORTANT people and/or PENGUINS, Skipper!!!!” Skipper yells LOUDER: “I NEED TO TALK WITH YOU RIGHT NOW!!!! Don’t MAKE me blow UP that Steel Door you worked so HARD on!!!!” General Barracuda asks: “What’s he going on about now?!” Fondue groans and says: “Skipper is just having another one of his delusions of grandeur. But I better talk to him anyway; I don’t want to TAKE the chance that he’s just BLUFFING!!!!” Fondue comes out of the cock-pit and says: “You can talk with ME, if you want, but that’s it!” Skipper says: “I thought you would be more EAGER for this! After all, I’m giving you a CHANCE to be RELEVANT!!!!” Fondue says: “I don’t need any help from YOU in that department! What’s so important that you have to have a talk with me?” Skipper seriously says: “You’ve seen EVERYTHING that has happened this season, RIGHT?! So YOU would know whether or not Patrick has something devious planned in mind; which I’m SURE that he is planning something devious! Well, I’m NOT going to let myself get blind-sided a THIRD time! So you are GOING to tell me WHAT Patrick is up to, when he is going to carry OUT his nefarious scheme; and how I should go about STOPPING it!!!!”

Fondue can’t control himself and he uncontrollably LAUGHS: “HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! HA…HO, HO, HO, HO, HA, HA, HA, HA! Oh MY! OH IT HURTS!!!! HA, HA! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!!...Oh, are you SERIOUS?!!! Maybe you didn’t get the memo, but I DON’T give season shattering secrets to contestants, ESPECIALLY when there AREN’T any to begin with!!!!” Skipper says: “You let ZARBON play around with the EDITING machine, and never give HIM any PENALTY votes for DOING that!” Fondue says: “That’s because he looks like ORLANDO BLOOM!!!! You are NOT Orlando Bloom; and you’re NOT even in the top FIVE of the most liked contestants on this show! You’re IMPOSSIBLE to deal with; and the sooner you REALIZE that, the better off we’ll all be for it!” Skipper yells: “I NEED to WIN THIS SEASON!!!! I HAVE to AVENGE MARLENE!!!!” Fondue screams: “SHUT UP!!!! If you WANT to win a season of a show so BADLY; why don’t you have HAYDEN write up a show for you…oh, THAT’S right! He already HAS a show called Secret Agent Snail Season 2; that as of 5-26-2017, doesn’t even HAVE one REPLY to it!” Skipper says: “But Hayden PROMISED me that I would WIN this season!!!!” Fondue chuckles, rolls his eyes, and seriously says: “Hayden does not KNOW how this show is supposed to work! We’re not going to GIVE you the win, just because Hayden TOLD you that you were going to win; it will GO to the contestant that most DESERVES this win; I.E., someone honest, faithful, loyal, trustworthy, and has been a constant source of reliability throughout this season! By those standards, even PATRICK has more of a right to be a season winner than YOU do! All YOU’VE done this season is act COMPLETELY paranoid and provocative towards SEVERAL contestants this season without ANY real reason to DO so; and having a COMPLETELY unreliable Performance Edgic through-out the ENTIRE arc of this season!” Skipper moans and says: “Well, if Hayden would just GIVE me some clues as to how I am SUPPOSED to act and PERFORM…” Fondue says: “Well, the fact is, he hasn’t! So UNLESS he ever DOES, I suggest that you quiet down, start behaving yourself, and STOP acting paranoid! You’re giving penguins like Lettuce, from Power Rangers Multiverse Force, a BAD name!” (Confessional) Skipper rolls his eyes and says: “Well, FONDUE was a gigantic HELP…NOT!!!! I guess that I have to find out the old-fashioned way; through a THOROUGH investigation!” / Fondue rolls his eyes and says: “Well, SOMEBODY had to TRY to set Skipper straight! And if I didn’t do it, than WHO would?! If nothing else, it DID provide me with the thorough bit of RELEVANCE that I needed in this episode!” (End Confessional)

Sniz turns the intercom on, and talks through the loud-speakers. Sniz says: “We are making our final approach, contestants! Please put seats and trays back in their upright position, pair yourself off into pairs of two, and prepare for a water landing!!!!” And the plane bounces up and down on the water, until it skids to a graceful stop! General Barracuda chuckles and says: “Landed this plane like a BOSS!!!!” / General Barracuda is in the Cargo hold, unloading the canoes and oars needed for the first part of the challenge, unaware that ANTI-TIMMY is lurking in the shadows, leering EVILLY at the scene that’s about to take place! / Sniz is looking at the contestants, dressed in life-jackets and paired up into canoes. Captain Retro is paired off with Suzie; Rocko is paired off with Reggie; Dudley is paired off with Chameleon; Zarbon is paired off with Bulma; and Skipper is paired off with Patrick. Suzie rolls her eyes and says: “Figures! The minute I finally EMBRACE working with Patrick; is the FIRST time that I DON’T get paired UP with him!” Skipper groans and says: “You WANT to work with him?! Be my guest!” Suzie scoffs and says: “And give up a FREE meal ticket in the V.I.P. Lounge?! In your DREAMS, Skipper!” Sniz says: “Let’s not waste our times with pointless BANTER; I would like to actually FINISH this episode, and the REST of this season, in a timely fashion! You must use your canoes to race to the forests of Newfoundland. Once there, you must cut down a large tree as fast as you can. This tree will be utilized in the final part of the challenge; which will have you making a totem pole! But not just ANY totem pole; this totem pole is BASED on ALL of the contestants who have already been eliminated this season; and points will be awarded on how MANY of the choices you get correctly! You will place the wooden heads of the eliminated contestants from bottom to top, from the FIRST eliminated contestant, to the most RECENTLY eliminated contestant! And yes, we DO mean ALL eliminations are counted, so keep that in mind when making your totems!” Bulma says: “And thanks to MY superior mind, I know EXACTLY how the totem should be made!” Captain Retro seriously says: “So do I; Bulma. And unlike you, I actually care a LOT about MANY of the contestants who have been eliminated this season!” Bulma scoffs and says: “Do you think you can lecture ME about caring?! I care a whole LOT about righting a WRONG that was DONE to me TWENTY years ago! I was HUMILIATED on INTERNATIONAL television!” Reggie rolls her eyes and says: “So? What are YOU going to do about THAT?!” Bulma says: “Not that any of YOU can STOP it, but I’m going to get my hands on a CLEAN SLATE once I win this season; then NOBODY will ever remember ANY of the humiliating things that have happened to ME; because the evidence will be all ERASED!!!!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “So THAT’S why Bulma is being as horrible as she is; because she’s convinced that by TRUSTING Dr. Gero, he will GIVE her a Clean Slate, and it will PURGE the world of ALL the evidence of her humiliating PAST!!!! One thing is for sure, it MUST be something REALLY humiliating! Otherwise, Bulma wouldn’t even BOTHER going to all the trouble of doing this!” / Bulma says: “Unfortunately, Zarbon has some IDEA of what it IS that I’m humiliated about! Fortunately for me, I know something humiliating about HIM; and I will reveal it to everyone, when the time comes to DUMP him!” (End Confessional)

Zarbon says: “Bulma, we don’t NEED to waste time talking to those commoners! We’ve got a FUTURE to plan together!” Rocko yells: “What future are you TALKING about?! Don’t you know what Bulma PLANS to do to if you ever successfully get rid of Captain Retro?!” Zarbon rolls his eyes and asks: “What are you TALKING about?! Of course I know what’s going to happen!” Rocko says: “Obviously you don’t, because Bulma might be interested in a lot of things, but they certainly DON’T involve living a life with YOU! She plans to dump you as SOON as you fulfill your role, or when she can’t afford to keep you around anymore!” Bulma screams: “You keep your BIG mouth SHUT!!!! Or do you WANT to get eliminated the way Gonard and Po were ELIMINATED?!!!” Rocko seriously says: “Yeah, why don’t you TRY that?! I bet EVERYONE back at your home would LOVE to see you WRITHING in AGONY like the WORM you REALLY are!!!!” Bulma angrily says: “That DOES it!!!! You’re going to PAY for those insults YOU…you wanna-be DINGO!!!!” Unfazed, Rocko says: “Try to eliminate me, and it will LEAD to your OWN down-fall!” Bulma seriously says: “Change of PLANS, Zarbon; ELIMINATE that grand-standing spreader of FAKE NEWS; so he will STOP telling these lies!” Zarbon warningly says: “Hold it!!!! Remember Captain Retro?!!! Stick to the plan, STICK to the PLAN!!!!” Bulma screams: “PLANS were MADE to be ALTERED!!!! I am ALTERING the deal I MADE for us! Be THANKFUL that I haven’t ALTERED it any further!” (Confessional) Zarbon rolls his eyes, and seriously says: “This deal just keeps getting WORSE all the time!” / Rocko smiles and says: “I definitely got under Bulma’s skin with THAT one! Now she won’t rest until she sees me take the Drop of Shame, which fits RIGHT into our plan! Bulma can’t control her own impulses, and she won’t LISTEN to the ideas of ANYONE else, once she gets an idea STUCK in her mind! Zarbon might not believe me, but I think he’s starting to become hip to the idea that Bulma, does NOT have his best interests in mind!” (End Confessional) Sniz asks: “Can we PLEASE be civil about things?! Let’s try to keep it pleasant around here! I want a GOOD, clean challenge! No cutting corners, NO sabotaging the challenge, and the duo that finishes the totem challenge first, WINS!!!! And before I forget, there’s THIS!!!!”

(Beep! Beep! Ba-beep! Beep! Beep!) Suzie sighs in contentment and says: “My FAVORITE part of the challenges!” Sniz says: “You know what that sound means, so I want a song that was originally made big by Smokey Robinson, but later turned into a duet by Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow!” Reggie says: “I guess that means we’re going Cruisin’! Perfect for a lovely afternoon together with my Rocko!” Bulma seriously says: “Better enjoy it while you can, because it will be your LAST afternoon with Rocko in THIS competition!” Rocko seriously says: “Don’t pay attention to THAT loud-mouth! Let’s just enjoy our time together!” Reggie says: “I’m fine with THAT idea!” / Genre: Soft rock. Sub-Genre: Huey Lewis. Song: “Cruisin’” Sung by: Cast! / During this sequence, the contestants all try their hardest to row to Newfoundland, with Captain Retro and Suzie eventually pulling ahead and landing there first at the end of the song sequence. / Sniz: “Cruise!” Rocko: “Baby lets cruise, away from here. Don't be confused, the way is clear.” Reggie: “And if you want it, you got it forever! This is not a one night stand!” Captain Retro: “Let the music, take your mind!” Suzie: “Ooh, just release, and you will find!” Rocko and Reggie: “You're gonna fly away, glad you’re going my way. I love it when we're cruising together! The music is played for love, cruising is made for love! I love it when we're cruising together!” Zarbon: “Baby, tonight belongs to us!” Bulma: “Everything's right, do what you must!” Zarbon: “And inch by inch we get closer and closer, to every little part of each other!” Dudley: “Let the music take your mind!” Chameleon: “Just release, and you will find!” Dudley and Chameleon: “You're gonna fly away, glad you’re going my way! I love it when we're cruising together! Music is played for love, cruising is made for love! I love it when we're cruising together!” Patrick: “Cruise with me baby! Cruise with me baby!” Skipper, sarcastically: “So good!” (Instrumental solo) Rocko: “Baby let’s cruise, let’s float, let’s glide!” Reggie: “Ooh, let’s open up and go inside! And if you want it, you got it forever! I can just stay there, inside you, and love you baby!” Rocko: “Let the music take your mind!” Reggie: “Just release and you will find!”

Rocko and Reggie: “You're gonna fly away, glad you’re going my way! I love it when we're cruising together! Music is played for love, cruising is made for love! I love it when we're cruising together!” Dudley and Chameleon: “You're gonna fly away, glad you’re going my way! I love it when we're cruising together! Music is played for love, cruising is made for love! I love it when we're cruising together!” Bulma: “You're gonna fly away, glad you’re going my way! I love it when we're cruising together!” Zarbon: “The music is played for love, cruising is made for love! I love it when we're cruising together!” Cast: “You're gonna fly away, glad you’re going my way! I love it when we're cruising together! Music is played for love, cruising is made for love I love it when…I love it, I love it, I love it!” / And the epic song ends as Captain Retro and Suzie reach the shore. /

Suzie says: “Thanks for helping me get to the shore FIRST, Captain Retro!” Captain Retro says: “You can THANK the fact that Bulma is so ANGRY at Rocko, she’s unable to THINK about doing anything else EXCEPT taking him down! Now we’ve got a tree to chop down! The sooner, the better!” Suzie says: “Just as long as you don’t expect ME to do all the chopping!” Captain Retro says: “Perish the thought! I would NEVER ask you to do something that YOU were uncomfortable with!” Suzie smiles and says: “It’s nice to know there are STILL some people and/or canines out there who KNOW true stardom when they see it!” (Confessional) Suzie asks: “Am I shamelessly playing on Captain Retro’s obvious good guy status? Kind of. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m INTENTIONALLY going to plan a blind-side on him or anything; but making sure I’m on good terms with Captain Retro now, will make things go a whole lot smoother when it comes time for me to vote him off. It’s nothing personal, but I’m not planning on missing out on the Final Three THIS time! Suzie Carmichael is going ALL the way!” / Captain Retro asks: “Do I think that Suzie Carmichael is shamelessly playing on my obvious good guy status? Probably. But I’m NOT going to get all paranoid about it. I plan on playing these challenges to the best of my ability. And if I end up getting eliminated by my fellow challengers, I’m going to accept the outcome. No use worrying about what hasn’t happened yet, as long as you can prepare yourself for anything that time and luck will throw at you.” (End Confessional) As the other contestants reach the shore with the looming forest, most of them groan in frustration as they hear the sound of chopping in the distance! Skipper moans, and says: “Oh, man! It sounds like THOSE two are already at it! I should’ve KNOWN that a sabotaging SEA Star would NEVER cooperate with me in a game of this nature!” Patrick asks: “What are you talking about?!” Skipper rolls his eyes and says: “Hello! You are DELIBERATELY trying to slow us down; all in a desperate attempt to try to boot ME off, and get yourself closer to the Final Three!” Patrick seriously asks: “Why would you EVER think something like that?! I’d also be putting MYSELF into trouble by not trying to do my best! I want to win as much as YOU do!” Skipper chuckles ruefully and says: “You think you’re SO sly and slick, but I’m onto you, BUDDY!” (Confessional) Skipper says: “If Patrick thinks he can trick me by trying to act stupid, he’s WRONG! I KNOW that he’s capable of being smart…when he wants to be! And I think that he’s TRYING to throw me off my game by STILL pretending to act stupid! But the only way THAT would work would be, if I had been HATCHED yesterday! And this penguin DEFINITELY wasn’t hatched YESTERDAY; no sir-ree!” / Patrick asks: “Is it JUST me, or does Skipper act this way around EVERY single contestant who gets partnered with him?” (End Confessional)

Zarbon growls angrily to hear Captain Retro and Suzie hard at work! Zarbon says: “Just LISTEN to that SICKENING sound! That should be US amassing an INSURMOUNTABLE lead, and completely DECIMATING every other contestant that tries to GET in our way!” Bulma says: “Except that’s TOTALLY not the way Captain Retro THINKS; unlike YOU! But NOW, you need to focus on MAIMING that AWFUL Wallaby; and make it look like an ‘accident’!” Zarbon asks: “Why are you asking me to waste time on that NOTHING marsupial? He is NO threat to us! He’s TRYING to get under your skin, and so far, he’s SUCCEEDING!!!!” Bulma screams: “NOBODY humiliates Bulma BRIEFS!!!! Nobody, NOBODY, NOBODY!!!! And Rocko needs to see that when you TRY to humiliate Bulma Briefs, I will ALWAYS come out on top!”

Rocko asks: “Zarbon, do you HEAR the way Bulma is TALKING?! What makes you think that if she thinks that way about someone who has never DONE anything except tell the truth; what makes you think that she thinks BETTER about you; someone who has been LESS than a shining example of upholding morals?” Zarbon scoffs and says: “Go peddle your senseless ramblings on someone else. I’m not INTERESTED in hearing YOUR pointless pleading!” Rocko says: “I THOUGHT that you wanted to be BEAUTIFUL! Not just on the outside, but on the INSIDE!!!! And you’re NOT being very beautiful on the INSIDE; your actions are hurting REAL people, with REAL feelings! And when you cause people to suffer, you end up suffering with them TOO, Zarbon!” Zarbon GASPS in genuine shock and asks: “I’m…hurting people?” (Confessional) Zarbon puts his face into his hands, and hangs in shame. Zarbon says: “I have been SO blind about my actions for being here! But I’m also SO conflicted about what I should do. Bulma LOVES me; I love her, but I want to be beautiful; but I’m also HURTING people! I was under Freeza’s orders for SO long, it was only NATURAL for me to turn my feelings of empathy OFF, and only focus on trying to stay alive. But I don’t have to DO that anymore! I just…don’t know how I am going to handle things going forward with Bulma.” / Rocko says: “I think there’s a chance that I might have gotten THROUGH a bit to Zarbon! After all, Zarbon values his beauty, and he doesn’t WANT to be ugly! If I can appeal to THAT aspect of his nature, there’s a chance that I could SAVE him from Bulma’s blind-side! It’s a long shot, and it might not be good for my game in any case, but it still feels like the RIGHT thing to do!” / Bulma angrily says: “I did NOT plan EVERYTHING that I have planned, and con EVERYONE that I have CONNED for so long; to JUST have some snot-nosed mammal come along and MESS things up for me NOW!!!! I have a 666 I.Q., and Rocko is about to land in the most HUMILIATING wake-up of his entire LIFE!!!!” (End Confessional) Bulma threateningly says: “You better STOP talking to US like that, or I’ll share a secret SO devastating about YOU; Reggie will NEVER forgive you!” Reggie says: “That’s not POSSIBLE!!!! There is NOTHING you could say about MY guy; that would make ME turn AWAY from him!” Bulma flashes her SMILE of DEATH; and even PATRICK can tell that she’s NOT bluffing! Patrick says: “Bulma is SMILING!!!! That’s NEVER a good SIGN!!!!” Bulma diabolically says: “How about THIS?!!!”

Bulma pulls out a mega-phone, and yells: “ATTENTION ENTIRE WORLD; ATTENTION!!!! I WANT EVERYONE TO TUNE IN AND WATCH, TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO SNOT-NOSED LOWER LIFE FORMS WHO DON’T KNOW HOW TO KEEP THEIR BIG MOUTHS SHUT IN FRONT OF THEIR CLEARLY EVOLVED SUPERIORS!!!! THIS LITTLE MAMMAL HAS DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR THAT MAKE HIM THINK HE CAN COME INTO THE MIDDLE OF ME AND MY PLANS, BUT I KNOW EVERY SINGLE HUMILIATING THING ABOUT HIM, AND I WILL NOW TELL THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE WHAT ROCKO HAS HID FROM EVERYONE!!!! ROCKO A. WALLABY, FAMED SUPER-STAR OF ROCKO’S MODERN LIFE; IS A 100%, COMPLETELY CERTIFIED, UNDENIABLE BI-SEXUAL!!!!!!!!!!!” Bulma drops her mega-phone and says: “Try to top THAT mic drop, SWISHY!!!!” Reggie groans in disgust and says: “And here I thought you were just a LOUD mouth! But NO!!!! You are a COMPLETELY vile PERSON!!!! Do you think I CARE about Rocko being Bi-sexual? Spoiler alert; I don’t! He already INFORMED me about this BEFORE we married! He and Heffer Wolfe have HAD a ‘thing’ together in the past, but Rocko is perfectly satisfied living a married life with ME!!!! You didn’t reveal a THING about Rocko; you just revealed something about yourself; that you have absolutely NO respect for the PRIVACY of OTHERS; and all YOU care about is HUMILIATING others, just to make yourself FEEL better about whatever it is that YOU’RE so shamed about in your OWN past; that if you think that if you humiliate someone else WORSE than you have been; that will make your OWN hurt go away! But it will never go away Bulma, not until you STOP trying to purposefully hurt other peoples for YOUR own personal amusement, and STRAIGHTEN up into somebody moral!” Wanda POOFS a micro-phone into Reggie’s hands, and SHE drops it! Reggie says: “And THAT’S how I’ll top your mic drop, JERK!!!!” Bulma, unable to counter that, merely screams: “GO JUMP IN THE OCEAN!!!!” (Confessional) Rocko says: “I don’t know about you, but I think Reggie FINALLY made Bulma see that she is NOT just going to con her way to the top! THAT’S telling her!” /

Reggie says: “I’m willing to see the good in people, but even I can have my limits, and Bulma CLEARLY crossed them by TRYING to SLANDER the status of MY Rocko! How DARE she?! If she thinks she can get away with outing Rocko with that, she can just keep TRYING! Nothing she says will make me think any LESS about Rocko than I do NOW!” / Zarbon rolls his eyes and says: “Way to GO, Bulma! You just made EVERYONE aware about how bat psycho INSANE you are; and your little ‘secret’ didn’t even work, at ALL!!!! How are WE supposed to get to the Final Three NOW?!!!” / Bulma scoffs and says: “FINE!!!! So Reggie already KNEW about Rocko’s secret! That makes no difference to me! It’s the FACT that he’s been keeping it a SECRET from everyone ELSE that I was REALLY going after! And if he’s WILLING to keep a secret about THAT; who knows WHAT else he’s willing to keep a secret about?! I am UTTERLY going to DESTROY Rocko’s time as a contestant, and NOTHING is going to stop me!” (End Confessional) Chameleon reels in repulsion and says: “And to THINK, I used to be ALIGNED with creeps like HER!” Dudley comforts Chameleon, and Dudley says: “Let’s get away from her bad vibes, and try to focus on providing a great challenge!” / The action shifts to a clearing, next to a wood mill, where Captain Retro and Suzie are already hard at work, hacking their fallen tree into smaller bite sized chunks! Suzie rolls her eyes and says: “So, you FINALLY decide to show up! Captain Retro got SO bored, he simply blasted DOWN four other trees for the REST of you, just so you MIGHT have a chance of catching up, not that I think you will!” Skipper seriously says: “This challenge is not over yet! My method is on like Donkey Kong!” Patrick rolls his eyes and says: “Whatever THAT means!” And the other contestants get to hard work on trying to catch up to Captain Retro and Suzie! Bulma snidely asks: “Rocko, WHY do you insist on making life FAR harder on yourself than it has to be?! You can make this ALL go away, Rocko. Just tell the WHOLE world that you are absolutely WRONG with EVERYTHING you said about me, and I will SPARE you for the Final Three.” Rocko seriously replies: “You think you can BRIBE me after the little STUNT you tried to pull?! I’m NOT going to APOLOGIZE to you!!!!” Bulma angrily yells: “I CAN UTTERLY DESTROY YOUR PERSONAL…LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!” Rocko seriously replies: “Go ahead and try! Unlike you, I’ve got FRIENDS who understand and CARE about me! And I’m NOT going to let things proceed the way YOU think they should!” /

Genre: Hard Rock. Sub-genre: The Eagles (Don Henley). Song: “I Will Not Go Quietly” Sung by: Rocko, Reggie, Dudley, Chameleon, Zarbon, Bulma, Captain Retro, and Skipper. /

Rocko: “Woke up with a heavy head, and I thought about leaving town. I could have died if I wanted to; slipped over the edge and drowned! But, oh no baby, I won't give up so easy!” Reggie: “Too many tire tracks in the sands of time. Too many love affairs that stop on a dime. I think it's time to make some changes 'round here!” Rocko: “Yeah, I'm gonna tear it up! Gonna trash it up! I'm gonna round it up! Gonna shake it up! Oh no baby, I will not lie down!” Dudley: “I'm brave enough to be crazy, I'm strong enough to be weak.” Chameleon: “I see all these heroes with feet of clay, whose mighty ships have sprung a leak!” Captain Retro, to Suzie: “And I want you to tell me, darling, just what do you believe in now?” Zarbon, to Bulma: “Well, c'mon over here baby, you about to give me a heart attack!” Bulma, seductively: “I wanna wrap my loving arms around the smell of your back! Yeah, and I'm gonna pull you, pull you, pull you; pull you right up close to me!” Rocko, to his friends: “Yeah, we're gonna tear it up! We’re gonna trash it up! Gonna round it up, gonna shake it up! Oh, no, no, no, I will not lie down! Turn this thing around! I will not go quietly! I will not lie down! I will not go quietly! I will not lie down! I will not go quietly! I will not lie down! No, I will not lie down!” Dudley, to Chameleon: “Well, don't you ever get lonely? Don't you ever get down? Don't you ever get tired, of all the wicked tongues in this town?” Chameleon, to Dudley: “Oh baby, I just wanna take you away from here!” Captain Retro to Suzie: “I ain't no tiger, I ain't no little lamb. Suppose you tell me, mama, who do you think I think I am?!” Skipper, to Patrick: “And ooh baby, don't you give a [distorted]?”

Rocko: “Yeah, I'm gonna tear it up! Gonna trash it up! Gonna round it up, gonna shake it up! Oh baby, I will not lie down! Turn this thing around! I will not go quietly! I will not lie down! I will not go quietly! I will not lie down! I will not go quietly! I will not lie down! No, I will not lie down!” / And the epic song ends as everyone finishes with their chopping. / Sniz comes in and says: “All right, thanks for the speedy chopping, contestants! For each tree you felled, we’ll plant three more trees in their place. We want to give back to the environment; MORE, than we take from it! Just rest easy for a few moments, while we prepare the final part of the challenge for you.” /

The scene shifts to a little bit later, and the five pairs of contestants are given a BUNCH of wooden heads, all of contestants who have been eliminated, during “Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” Sniz says: “Here is where your memories will come in handy! See if you CAN place each eliminated contestant where they are supposed to go on the totem, from bottom to top! The duo that gets the most contestants correct, will win the V.I.P. Lounge and immunity until the next elimination challenge!” Captain Retro asks: “Are you fast at climbing and stacking, Suzie?!” Suzie says: “If I can handle dancing around in high-heel pumps, I can certainly handle a little climbing and stacking!” Captain Retro says: “Than I’ll take care of the memory part of this challenge! Stack them in this order; Otto Rocket, Timmy Turner, Jimmy Neutron, Fanboy, Roger, Patty, Kitty, Snaptrap, Haggis, Twister, Lil Deville, Skipper, Angelica, Pearl, Old Man Jenkins as Guano, Treeflower, Dib Bitters, Judy Funny, Sway-Sway, Harvey, Craig Slithers, Stanley, Super Chum, the REAL Guano, Invader Zim, Keswick, Kaput, Oonski, Angelica AGAIN, Otto AGAIN, Sanjay, Heffer Wolfe, Globitha, Robot Default, Buhdeuce, King Julien, Kaput as an Intern, Phoebe, Monster Krumholtz, Spongebob, Skipper AGAIN, Blonda, Larry, Taotie, Tigress, Randolph, Daggett, Norbert, Gonard, Po, Dog, Stimpy, sadly Marlene, and finally, Wally!!!!” And the other contestants by how QUICKLY Captain Retro and Suzie have FINISHED this challenge! Sniz says: “And it’s ALL over, and in record TIME! Not only have they finished this challenge, they have got EVERY single eliminated contestant correct! They get the V.I.P. Lounge treatment!” Bulma yells: “ZARBON; why didn’t you use that super SPEED you keep telling everyone about?!” Zarbon sighs and says: “Bulma, I’m tired of hurting people. It’s NOTHING but trouble!” Bulma seriously says: “You want to talk about TROUBLE?! You’re going to BE in trouble if you DON’T get your beautiful REAR in gear and ELIMINATE that AWFUL Captain Retro!” Rocko says: “Well, while I would love to stay and WATCH your little ‘show-mance’ blow itself up, I’m afraid to break it to you, but I’m about to deny you even MORE, Bulma!” Bulma scoffs and says: “You’ve got nothing more you can take away, from ME!!!!” Rocko says: “Unfortunately, there is! I’m going to DENY you the chance of voting me off, and simply STOP being a contestant as a game show! So you can’t even THINK about trying to threaten REGGIE’S safety now, since she doesn’t even have to be WORRIED about being voted OFF!!!!” And Bulma gasps in shock at the move that Rocko has just pulled!

(Confessional) Bulma screams: “THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING TO ME!!!!” / Captain Retro smiles and says: “I just LOVE that this is happening to Bulma! Couldn’t have happened to a PRETTIER loud-mouth!” / Zarbon moans and says: “Another challenge DOWN the drain, and Captain Retro inches closer and closer to an inevitable show-down to me! It’s going to happen, and it will happen soon ENOUGH, Captain Retro! Just wait and SEE!!!!” (End Confessional) Rocko gets on one of the anarchic motorcycles from the Australian challenge, and says: “So long, Sniz. I shall now be taking my lead. Reggie, I leave the rest up to you!” Reggie salutes Rocko, and she says: “You can count on me, my love!” Rocko shouts: “I will see you at the FINALE!!!!” And Rocko zooms off! Sniz says: “And with that, we are now done with one more challenge, and one more contestant has been eliminated from this show! We are down to nine contestants, and any one of them could be the next one eliminated, OR be the contestant who gets the $44.44 million grand prize! It’s anyone’s game, as we get one step closer to figuring out who will get the grand prize, on Total Cartoon (sings) Global Cruise!” /

Epilogue: As Rocko heads down a highway to Hollywood, California, he reflects on all his good times with Reggie Rocket (seen via flash-back) as he sings his version of a ROCKING Bryan Adams hit song! / Genre: Soft rock. Sub-genre: Bryan Adams. Song: “Heaven” Sung by: Rocko! / Rocko: “Oh, thinking about all our younger years. There was only you and me, we were young and wild and free. Now nothing can take you away from me. We've been down that road before, but that's over now. You keep me coming back for more. Baby, you're all that I want, when you're lying here in my arms. I'm finding it hard to believe, we're in heaven. And love is all that I need, and I found it there in your heart. It isn't too hard to see we're in heaven. Oh, once in your life you find someone; who will turn your world around, bring you up when you're feeling down. Yeah, nothing could change what you mean to me! Oh, there's lots that I could say! But just hold me now, because our love will light the way! And baby, you're all that I want, when you're lying here in my arms. I'm finding it hard to believe, we're in heaven. And love is all that I need, and I found it there in your heart. It isn't too hard to see, we're in heaven! I've been waiting for so long, for something to arrive; for love to come along. Now our dreams are coming true, through the good times and the bad. Yeah, I'll be standing there by you! (Instrumental Solo) And baby, you're all that I want, when you're lying here in my arms! I'm finding it hard to believe, we're in heaven! And love is all that I need; and I found it there in your heart! It isn't too hard to see, we're in heaven; heaven, oh! You're all that I want, you're all that I need!” / And the epic song as Rocko rides into the sunset! /

Episode Notes: Zarbon FINALLY starts to question his relationship status with Bulma, and whether or not it is worth it to HURT other contestants, the way he HAS been doing! Bulma outs Rocko as being Bi-sexual, only to have it be REVEALED to her that Reggie already KNEW about Rocko’s status, and didn’t even CARE about it! Featured songs in this episode are “You Learn; Cruisin’, I Will Not Go quietly,” (also the episode title), and “Heaven.”

Personal Notes: Bulma trying to SLANDER Rocko as being bi-sexual, is loosely based on a RECENT “Survivor” scandal, where somebody OUTED a contestant as being trans-gender, only to have the slander end up BACKFIRING on them BIG time! Other than that, Skipper is still completely paranoid and almost IMPOSSIBLE for me to write for; I’m basically just keeping him on for Hayden’s sake! The reason why I’m having Zarbon start to REALIZE the pain he’s putting other contestants through, is to make his upcoming down-fall all the more tragic to witness. / That’s my episode idea for today!  Enough said, true believers!

[NegiSpongie]

Keeper of the Spatula: Volume 1

Chapter 5: Campfire Funnies

Out on the nighttime ocean, a ship was sailing through the dark waters with a familiar one-eyed single-cell organism standing at the bow.

"I feel like king of the world." Plankton said with an excited smile. "Or at least I will once I get that golden spatula. Soon, I will have even better krabby patties than Krabs could ever produce."

Then he gave an evil chuckle. "Ooh, I haven't felt this excited since the day I started going after that secret formula." Then he got a confused look. "In fact, I feel more rushed to get that spatula more than I thought. I wonder why."

He growled angrily. "That settles it! Next stop, I'm getting off this slow-moving crate and finding those idiots on foot." Then he smirked and rubbed his hands together. "You better watch out, Krabs. That precious spatula will be all mine."

---

Meanwhile, in the Muerto Woods, Mr. Krabs and his employees (including Patrick) had walked through the woods for hours and eventually decided to rest for the night. They made camp on a small stone cliff-side, free from any wildlife they didn't want to encounter in the forest.

Everything was dark and blurry at first until the camera zoomed in on Squidward sitting on a rock in front of a campfire, roasting a weenie on the flames with a bored expression. At the lower right corner was the word "Rec" in red. Then Patrick's voice shouted, "Hey, Squidward! I can see you!"

Squidward noticed the camera pointed at his face and he frowned angrily. "Get that thing out of my face, Patrick!"

The camera quickly shifted away from Squidward and stopped on Mr. Krabs who was snuggling his cash register. "You didn't like being stuffed in that cramped travelin' bag, did ya, Cashie?" Mr. Krabs said to the cash register in a babyish voice.

The camera then zoomed in on him as Mr. Krabs continued to converse with the cash register, "Well, I couldn't just leave ya back at the Krusty Krab with no company and no one to protect your money, could I?" then he looked up and noticed the camera focused on him. His eyes widen and he hoards the cash register. "Hey, hey, hey!" he shouted. "There's a law about videotaping someone's private conversations!"

Then he shifts the camera away and turns it right onto SpongeBob who was sitting on the log next to Patrick, blowing the fire off of a weenie on a stick he was holding.

"Hi, SpongeBob." Patrick greeted as the sponge noticed the camcorder pointing him.

SpongeBob shrieked and tossed the weenie away until he blushed and started acting shy. "Oh, Patrick…if I had known I'd be videotaped, I would've freshened up a bit.

"SpongeBob!" Patrick said in a disappointed tone. "You have to say something to the video camera or this whole trip will be a total bust!"

"Ooh, a video log. Okay, just give me a minute." SpongeBob looked away from the camera and coughed in his fist to clear his throat. Then he inhaled through his nose and took a deep breath before acknowledging the camera again. "Good evening. My name is SpongeBob SquarePants. And I am here with my best friend and camera man, Patrick Star."

Patrick turned the camera upward and gave a close-up smile and chuckle into the camera lens. Then turned it back to SpongeBob, "And here also is our good friend, Squidward Tentacles." The camera pointed back at Squidward, who tried his best to ignore them.

"And the man behind the journey, Mr. Krabs." The camera went over to Krabs, who quickly stopped cuddling his cash register and gave the camera a nervous giggle.

Then the camera pointed back to SpongeBob, who happily continued to narrate, "Here we are after Day 1 of our perilous journey to the Arctic Ocean. We are still days away from our goal to throw this lovely golden spatula into the hot volcano." He took out his golden spatula to show it off. "That's because inside this spatula is the trapped soul of a deceased fellow fry cook, Hoagie Grindulas. Say hi to the folks back home, Hoagie." He giddily waved the spatula to the camera. "He's supposed to be evil. But I think he's a misunderstood fry cook, who makes delicious krabby patties- and I mean delicious."

"SpongeBob!" Patrick interrupted angrily as he lowered the camera. "You need to put more feeling into it."

SpongeBob wasn't sure what he did wrong, but he lightheartedly attempted to change the subject. "Well, how about I film you this time? After all, we need shots of the camera man too."

"Oh, okay." Patrick happily agreed and handed SpongeBob the camcorder. "How do I look?"

SpongeBob looked through the camcorder and gave him a thumb-up and answered with a smile, "Like a million clamshells."

Patrick chuckled and said, "All right! I always remember what to say."

SpongeBob continued to film Patrick. "Say hi to the people, Patrick- and don't forget to give me a big smile."

But suddenly, Patrick got a nervous look and started to sweat, "Uh…uh…uh…" he stammered. "I forgot my line!" he yelled in panic.

"How about putting that thing away." Squidward dourly suggested. "In case you're too stupid to remember, we aren't on some pleasure cruise. As much as I wish we were."

SpongeBob lowered the camera from his eye and responded, "Well, what do you think we should do, Squidward. Sing campfire songs? Tell ghost stories?"

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Patrick shouted, waving his hand in the air. "I got a story to tell!"

"Really, Patrick?" SpongeBob asked with a smile. "Let's hear it."

"Okay," Patrick nodded and began to tell his scary story. "Once upon a time…there was a scary ghost. He was so scary that whenever someone looked at him, they died."

SpongeBob shrieked in fright, but Squidward just rolled his eyes. But Patrick just continued with his story, "No one knew how to defeat him, so the ghost flew into town and scared everyone to death. The End."

"Ohhhh…that really was a scary ghost story." SpongeBob said with a scared look.

"It was scary, alright." Squidward said dully, not even looking frightened.

"And kinda sad." SpongeBob added, now looking depressed.

"Well, duh, of course it was." Patrick said, looking offended. "If it had a happy ending, then it wouldn't be a ghost story."

"Well, if you're lookin' for a yarn to spin, I got one." Mr. Krabs yearningly intervened.

"No thanks, Mr. Krabs." Patrick said, shaking his head. "I'm not really the knitting-type."

Mr. Krabs had an annoyed look and said, "Let me rephrase that. I got a scary story to tell."

"Wow, really?" SpongeBob asked excitedly.

"Aye, aye. This one is about where we be headed: The Arctic Ocean."

"NO! NO!" Patrick yelled in horror. "Not the Arctic Ocean! Anything but the Arctic Ocean!"

"Shh, shh, shh." SpongeBob shushed gently as he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Patrick. It'll help when we get to the Arctic Ocean, so we'll know what to expect."

Patrick eventually calmed down and gave a nod and barely audible, "Okay."

Mr. Krabs then began to tell his tale, "From here to the Arctic Ocean. The dangers are nowhere near as devastating as the ones there."

"Dangers?" Squidward questioned, raising an eyebrow until SpongeBob and Patrick loudly shush him.

Mr. Krabs continued, "The Arctic Ocean is a treacherous wasteland; nothing but wind full of the ice and snow that cover ground you step in. But once you cross that frozen tundra, you find all the cold disappear as you approach the wretched volcano. The first step on the top is like walking straight into Davey Jones's Locker. Its mouth unleashing smoke and its belly full of hot magma and fire. Once something goes in…it never comes out…uncooked."

As Squidward stared in awe, and SpongeBob and Patrick clutching each other in fear; Mr. Krabs suddenly stood up and grinned, "And that's why we are throwing that cursed spatula into the mouth, argh, argh, argh, argh, argh!" he laughed.

SpongeBob and Patrick glance at each other and reluctantly laugh along too.

Mr. Krabs then grabbed his cash register and announced, "Well, you all better get some shut eye. We get up first thing in the mornin' to continue on."

"If only I was a morning person." Squidward said as he stood up and walked over to his resting spot.

As Patrick stood up with a yawn, SpongeBob walked over to his travel pack, and lay down while secretly looking at the spatula in his hands, looking a bit unsure.

"If only we didn't have to throw you into a volcano, Hoagie." He quietly said to the spatula. "But if it'll free your soul, it's for the best." He kissed the spatula goodnight and went to sleep with a smile on his face.

[4EverGreen]

Sniz is in the cock-pit and he says: “Last time on Total Cartoon Global Cruise, we traveled to the land of Newfoundland, Canada. There, the contestants had to chop down a great, HUGE tree, and then make a totem pole, of all the previously eliminated contestants! Captain Retro formulated a plan to get Zarbon and Bulma out of the game, which required a little bit of help! Enter Rocko, who raised ALL the right warnings to Zarbon, and made the alien REALLY start to question his role in this entire season! Bulma didn’t like that, and TRIED to undermine Rocko’s status, by outing him out as being Bi-Sexual! The strategy, didn’t work. And to make Bulma even MORE furious, Rocko quit the game; not out of stupidity, but just to SPITE her! We are now down to nine contestants; and we’re heading to a place where the weather is cold, and the Fjords are even COOLER! We’re going way out THIS time, on another rocking episode of Total Cartoon (sings) Global Cruise! I wonder, how do you say that in Norwegian?” /

Instead of the usual show open, the Norwegian band A-ha, sings their gigantic hit song as Zarbon and Chameleon contemplate their relationships with Bulma and Dudley, respectively. / Genre: New wave. Sub-genre: Synth pop. Song: “Take On Me.” Sung by: A-ha! / “Talking away, I don't know what I'm to say, but I'll say it anyway. Today's another day to find you. Shying away, I'll be coming for your love, OK? Take on me, (take on me). Take me on, (take on me). I'll be gone, in a day or two! So needless to say, I'm odds and ends; but I'm me, stumbling away. Slowly learning that life is OK. Say after me, ‘It's no better to be safe than sorry.’ Take on me, (take on me). Take me on, (take on me). I'll be gone, in a day or two! (Synthesizer solo) Oh, things that you say, yeah; is it life, or just to play my worries away? You're all the things I've got to remember. You're shying away, I'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me, (take on me). Take me on, (take on me). I'll be gone, in a day! Take on me, (take on me). Take me on, (take on me). I'll be gone, in a day!” / And the epic song ends! /

“Norway Out!” / The plane is in transit, and Suzie is REALLY enjoying herself in the V.I.P. Lounge treatment for the first time! Suzie says: “Oh, YEAH!!!! Suzie Carmichael has FINALLY got a seat in the WINNER’S circle! It took longer than I expected, but I did it!” Captain Retro says: “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Besides, you should be aware that I can’t HELP you win this thing in every single challenge that we come across; not for much longer, at any rate. It’s not just about skill, it’s also about luck! And luck has a FUNNY habit of changing when you LEAST expect it to!” Suzie scoffs and says: “I’m no fool! After all, I’m the one who got Angelica Pickles to actually threaten MY life, just by KISSING Otto Rocket, who didn’t even HAVE any more interest in Angelica Pickles, anyways! So I know how quickly luck can change!” Captain Retro says: “All the same, don’t expect me to keep working miracles for you. I estimate Zarbon’s only got one last chance to eliminate me. If he fails this time, Bulma will try to get ME to target him for sure!” Suzie scoffs and says: “You’re not HONESTLY going to play BALL with Bulma after all the UNDERHANDED tactics she pulled THIS season?! After outing Rocko like THAT?! I’m sorry; but as far as I’M concerned, she’s out of the game!” Captain Retro says: “You should know it’s not that simple! She’s got ZARBON to protect her! And the reason why we don’t ‘JUST’ vote her off and be DONE with it, is that Zarbon would be willing to KILL everyone if we even THINK about voting his love interest off! And unless Zarbon gets completely crippled, he’ll do pretty much the exact same thing if HE gets voted off!”

Suzie says: “So I’m guessing it will boil down to a show-down; huh?” Captain Retro nods and says: “Pretty soon. Just keep this on the down-low, okay? Don’t give Bulma any MORE of a reason to target you, other than that you’re just another obstacle in her way!” Suzie smiles and says: “You can count on me! I’m not just the most FASHIONABLE on this plane, I’m also one of the most CUNNING and tactical! I won’t GIVE Bulma any reason to try to blind side ME!!!!” Captain Retro smiles and says: “That’s definitely one LESS thing for us to WORRY about!” (Confessional)

Captain Retro sighs and says: “We’re definitely getting closer to the moment of truth; the possible paths to all the different futures have all been closed down. Soon, only one will remain. Bulma is not going to listen to anyone, nor will she care that what she is doing, will only end up hurting her own game. It’s all going to boil down to Dudley in this round. He’s the last one who has a chance of getting Zarbon to STOP Bulma from doing what she PLANS on doing! And if Dudley can’t do it, Zarbon is going to be in for a world of HURT in the next challenge!” / Suzie says: “It all makes sense now! I should’ve known that what Wally and Rocko weren’t being STUPID when they quit the game! Even if we HAD the votes, it wouldn’t have mattered if Zarbon could’ve just flat-out KILLED us! Captain Retro is only trying to protect us with this plan! And any plan that protects me, is a plan that I’m cool with! But one thing is for sure, if Captain Retro actually MANAGES to stop Zarbon in his tracks, it’s certainly going to give the rest of us a real GOOD reason to vote Captain Retro out, once we get rid of Bulma!” (End Confessional)

Zarbon looks in the mirror, and sees that his left eye is once again completely healed, but he still sighs in sadness, as something is STILL completely nagging him, in the back of his mind! Bulma asks: “Come on, Zarbon! Why so melancholy? We’re doing a GREAT job of outlasting the other contestants! Victory is in the bag!” Zarbon groans and says: “Oh, when will we STOP hurting all the other contestants?” Bulma smiles and answers: Just as soon as I get my CLEAN SLATE and EVERYONE only remembers me for being the talented, beautiful genius which I truly am!” Zarbon seriously says: “You cannot be SERIOUS!” Bulma smirks and says: “Oh really? Who else on this plane has an 888 I.Q. that could POSSIBLY match mine? I work CIRCLES computing figures around those other contestants, I make them look like they fell asleep, standing on their feet! I’m going to achieve VICTORY in this game! The question is, do you want to be WITH there WITH me, when I inevitably achieve my goal and get what I so RICHLY deserve?!” Zarbon asks: “But WHY do we have to HURT people in order to do it?!” Bulma screams: “SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!! Stop TALKING about those other contestants as if they could POSSIBLY amount to ANYTHING!!!! They are mere COMMONERS!!!! Second-class citizens! It’s not like they have any actual ‘feelings!’ That’s just a LIE spread by the Hallmark Greeting Card Company in order to SELL more Greeting Cards! We’re the ONLY contestants that MATTER in this contest! You would be WISE to remember that! You’ve only GOT a couple of more CHANCES, to TRY to get out Captain Retro ONCE and for ALL!!!! Do NOT…I repeat, do NOT…BE A DUMB-BUTT!!!! I thank you in advance!” (Confessional) Zarbon sighs and asks: “Why won’t Bulma LISTEN to me?! I’m only TRYING to HELP! I’m not even sure WHAT to think about her anymore!” / Bulma groans and says: “Figures! No matter how LONG you develop a ‘show-mance’ with somebody, and no matter how much PRETEND ‘love’ and ‘caring’ that you GIVE somebody, they ALWAYS have to try to THINK FOR THEMSELVES!!!! As if ZARBON could ever actually DO that!!!! Well, no matter! Zarbon actually only has ONE more chance to get rid of Captain Retro. And if Zarbon SUCKS again, I’ll just trick Captain Retro by using the old ‘Sympathy’ act, and play the perfect part of an ABUSED partner in a relationship! Than Captain Retro will coming rushing to MY side to protect me from Zarbon, quicker than you can say, ‘Easy Street,’ which is where I will be LIVING once I get MY Clean Slate!” (End Confessional)

The five other contestants are in Normal Class, where they are all contemplating their next course of action. Skipper asks: “Say, Reggie? You no longer have your husband to fall back on, RIGHT?! How would you like to team up with ME in order to give Zarbon, Bulma, AND Patrick what they have COMING to them?!” Reggie scoffs and says: “I’d trust anyone ELSE before I’d trust YOU; Mr. CRAZY!!!!” Skipper shouts: “I am NOT crazy!!!! I’m the only one with any common SENSE on this plane!” Dudley scoffs and asks: “You call, going to FONDUE, threatening to BLOW up a steel door, and TRYING to dig up non-existent dirt on PATRICK, common sense?!” Skipper says: “I’ll decide what’s right and wrong around here! That’s my job as the top penguin agent in the entire world!” Chameleon says: “Look, I don’t know WHO you think you are, or who PROMISED you, that you were the only one that could WIN this challenge! But from NOW on; you act SANE around the rest of us! All right?!”

Skipper seriously says: “Listen, you LIZARD; let’s get ONE thing straight! With the exception of MARLENE, I take orders from just ONE person/penguin; ME!!!!” Patrick chuckles and says: “It’s a wonder you’re still alive!” Skipper gives Patrick a dirty look and says: “Will SOMEBODY get that DISCOUNT BATH MAT out of my SIGHT?!!!” Reggie seriously says: “Say, you’ve got a LOT of NERVE!!!! Why don’t you just GROW up?!” Skipper seriously says: “NO!!!! I am GOING to be RIGHT about Patrick doing something DIABOLIC even if it KILLS somebody!!!!” And Skipper storms off to use the Confessional. Dudley groans and asks: “Why won’t that penguin ever LISTEN to REASON?!!!” Chameleon says: “You know Skipper. Once he gets an idea STUCK in his head, you can’t get it out unless you PROVE to him that it’s right or wrong!” Patrick asks: “A discount bath mat? That’s definitely an insult I’ve never heard before!” Reggie sighs and says: “Just ignore him, Patrick. He’s just upset that he doesn’t HAVE a close-knit circle of friends to fall back on, the way the rest of us do! Once Zarbon, Bulma, and Captain Retro are gone, I propose a FRIENDSHIP Finale!!!!” Dudley asks: “A friendship finale?” Reggie says: “Sure, the four of us, along with Suzie if she wants it, team up together as friends, and work together to get to the Final Five. Not as rivals, but as friends.” Chameleon says: “I can go for a finale like that!” Reggie says: “We promise to not try any diabolic plots or schemes against each other, and instead, focus on a good, clean competition in the last few challenges. So that way, the contestants who get to the end, will win the challenge fair and square!” Patrick says: “That certainly sounds like a plan to me!” The four contestants put their hands together and simultaneously say: “To the Friendship FINALE!!!!” (Confessional)

Skipper groans and say: “I HATE THIS!!!! They are ALL deliberately PLOTTING against me! They WANT me to CRACK!!!! They WANT me to go INSANE!!!! Why else would they go to the trouble of COVERING for Patrick, and taking HIS side on everything?! Well, just because I’m PARANOID, doesn’t mean that I DON’T have any enemies! If Zarbon can mess around with Editing Footage, than SO can I! There’s got to be SOME dirt about Patrick in the hundreds of hours of footage that has been SHOT this season!” / Reggie says: “If we can pull this Friendship Finale off, it will make me feel a whole lot better about Rocko sacrificing his game for mine. That’s the sweetest thing he’s ever done for me, and I want to show him that I can be sweet to the rest of the ‘SANE’ contestants that remain in this competition! A good, clean, finish to this chaotic season, is something that I am REALLY looking forward to!” / Dudley says: “Skipper has a WARPED idea on just what exactly constitutes as common sense! Was he DROPPED on his HEAD while he was an egg?!” / Chameleon says: “I may not be the SMARTEST reptile in the world, but I know what ROAD KILL is! And right now, Skipper is the walking equivalent, as a contestant on this show!” / Patrick says: “If Skipper want to so DESPERATELY look for something on ME; he can be my guest! If BULMA doesn’t even want to TRY to target me, why in the world should SKIPPER waste his time?! It’s not like he’s going to FIND anything! What in the world could Skipper possibly be looking for?! You simply can’t find, what just DOESN’T exist!” (End Confessional)

Skipper, using his highly skilled training as a Spy Penguin, travels through the ventilation shaft of the plane, enters into the Editing Room, and selects the program, titled: “All the episodes Played At Once.” Skipper chuckles and says: “This will SHOW Patrick!” / After sixty whole minutes of analyzing ALL the footage, Skipper is FLABBERGASTED, that he’s NOT finding out anything DIRTY about Skipper! Skipper says: “Come ON!!!! Patrick is TERRIBLE at keeping SECRETS?! Than that means that he couldn’t POSSIBLY be planning anything diabolic against anybody; he would’ve SAID something already! Did I really just BLOW my own chances THAT badly?!” Sniz activates the intercom, and over the loud-speakers, Sniz says: “Attention, contestants! We are headed to the land of Norway. Fondue thought it would be a good opportunity to experience a naval battle, just like the Vikings had. But…because a reality show has already DONE that; we are going to do something different! We are going to a theme park in Norway! There, games of skill and games of chance will test your luck! You will be trying your best to earn a high score by the end of the day! The highest scoring winner and a guest of their choice will receive the V.I.P. Lounge treatment, and immunity!”

General Barracuda says: “Tell them what else they can expect!” Sniz announces: “Also, any contestants that might be THINKING about quitting, shouldn’t even bother! Because THIS time, it’s an AUTOMATIC elimination! The lowest scoring contestant must automatically pack their bags, and head OUT of the competition! That means, NO Elimination Ceremony! Do not pass go, do not earn a chance to collect up to $44.44 million in cold hard cash! We’ll be arriving at Norway in about an hour, and if we find ANY evidence that SOMEONE has been in the EDITING Room WITHOUT our permission, they will automatically have POINTS docked from WHATEVER their FINAL score is!!!!” Skipper panics and says: “Sniz will be coming! I better use the old stand-by!!!!” And Skipper pulls out a secret spy kit, which contains a packet which reads: “Secret Emergency Fingerprint Collection,” and under a folder which reads: “Zarbon,” Skipper uses a powder puff to ABSORB the absconded fingerprints, and spreads them all AROUND the Editing Room, so it will LOOK like ZARBON has been using the room! Skipper gets BACK into the Ventilation Shaft, and says: “Try to talk your way out of THAT, ADONIS!!!!” /

In the V.I.P. Lounge, Suzie is drinking Crystal Pepsi, then she says: “A challenge based on games of skill and LUCK?!!! How is everyone going to fare in this one?!” Captain Retro says: “Totally unpredictable! All you can do is your VERY best! And don’t let Zarbon or Bulma try to pull any of their TRICKY tricks around you!” Suzie says: “I never would!” Captain Retro says: “If our good karma has been any indication, we’ll be safe in this round. But someone’s luck has run out! I suppose we’ll find out who it is; very soon enough!” (Commercial Break) /

The plane lands in an open field in Norway, and the contestants all get out, as they are ASTONISHED to see a gigantic theme park right next to where they have landed! Zarbon says: “Wow! I didn’t know Norway had a theme park like this!” Sniz says: “Well, according to the Wikipedia listing under ‘Norway,’ as of 5-31-2017, they don’t. We just had our Fairy Godparent interns, poof one up for us!” Reggie says: “That actually makes a lot of sense, if you THINK about it!” Sniz says: “In any case, we have three different games of chance and skill you can choose from, and you can play them in ANY order you want! Each game will have three different contestants competing at the same time, and it is first come, first served. One game of chance is the balloon pop. Using five safety darts, you will try to pop up to five balloons. Each balloon is worth up to 20 points, so you can win up to 100 points in that game! Another game of chance is the bottle toss. You will be given three baseballs, and you have to try to knock down up to three stacks of bottles. There are six bottles in each stack, and each bottle is worth up to ten points, so you can win up to 180 points in that game! The final game of chance is the Wheel Spin! Using nothing but your strength, you will spin a giant wheel, and try to earn some points. The wheel has five point increments, from five to 100, and each contestant gets two chances to spin. If you get 100 points in your first spin or a combination of two spins, you get a BONUS chance to spin to earn more points! But be WARNED; if you go OVER 100 in a combination of two spins, you will receive NOTHING! Whoever gets the highest point combination at the end of this challenge, will receive the V.I.P. Lounge treatment, and they will be able to take a guest of their choice! The lowest point combination from a contestant, will be automatically eliminated out of the competition; so no pressure! Unless of course, you don’t WANT to lose! Now, who wants to play which game?!” Captain Retro says: “I’ve got Balloon Pop!” Reggie says: “Me to!” Dudley says: “Me three!” Chameleon says: “I’ve got the Bottle Toss!” Suzie says: “I’ll go to!” Patrick says: “So will I!” Sniz says: “So that means Bulma, Zarbon, and Skipper get the wheel spin first! The contestants who chose the balloon pop first, will play Bottle Toss second, and the Wheel Spin, third. The contestants who chose the Bottle Toss first, will play the Wheel Spin, second, and the balloon pop, third. And the contestants who chose the Wheel Spin first, will play the balloon pop, second, and the Bottle Toss, third! Now, let us get ready to PLAY!!!!” /

The action focuses on the Balloon Pop contestants, first. Captain Retro says: “Reggie, you seem really pumped up for this challenge!” Reggie says: “Naturally! Not only do I have a REASON to do well; avenging Rocko, but I’ve also been saving up my energy for such an event! I am READY to do my best!” Captain Retro asks: “Dudley, do YOU regularly play games of skill and chance?” Dudley says: “No; but how hard could they POSSIBLY be?!” And Captain Retro looks worried! (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “Trust me; anytime a contestant asks how hard a challenge could POSSIBLY be; it is NEVER a good sign for the contestant who ASKED it!” / Reggie says: “Growing up in Ocean Shores, California, the Rocket Crew and I have grown up close to a big Boardwalk on the coast of the Pacific Ocean. They had many games of skill and chance, there. I grew up playing and MASTERING a LOT of them! I’m not going to jinx my chances, but I am READY to face this challenge!” / Dudley says: “Being an agent of T.U.F.F., I really don’t get a lot of chances to play games of skill and chance. But I’m not TOO worried about it! After all, I’ve got the same chances as all the OTHER contestants still in this challenge! And since I’m a good guy, that means I’ve just GOT to do well! Right?! RIGHT?” (End Confessional)

At the Balloon Pop, the three contestants are getting mentally and physically prepared to try their best. Reggie says: “I LOVE moving! I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but I’m a MOVING type person! If nothing is moving, I feel low. That’s why I ALWAYS try to keep moving!” Reggie throws five darts in QUICK succession, and they ALL pop her a balloon, QUICKLY winning her 100 points! Dudley, slightly unnerved, throws five darts at various speeds and trajectories, but EACH dart completely MISSES popping a balloon, earning him NOTHING!!!! Captain Retro grows last, and carefully measuring the trajectory of the angles and the velocity of his own strength, he throws his five darts! The first four darts POP a balloon, but the LAST one is blown astray by the wind shear! Captain Retro says: “Darn it! I always have trouble NAILING that last balloon!” Reggie says: “Don’t worry about it! You’ve got 80 points, that’s STILL better than Dudley!” Dudley says: “I was just warming up! I’ll get it right in the next game!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “I could be wrong about this, but I think that Dudley’s luck has just about run out!” / Reggie says: “I’d like to thank my dad, Raymundo, and my mentor, Tito; for their many years of hard work and determination! All those years of playing baseball and volleyball, have REALLY payed off!” / Dudley says: “Note to self; throwing darts is NOT one of my better skills!” (End Confessional) The action focuses on the Bottle Toss contestants, next. Suzie asks: “Patrick, are you NERVOUS about this?” Patrick asks: “Why should I be NERVOUS?! I’ve been a GOOD contestant, I haven’t been up to anything diabolic; I should be golden!” Suzie asks: “I meant, are you NERVOUS about your performance in this challenge?!” Patrick shrugs his shoulders and says: “Who knows? I don’t care if I ACTUALLY win. I just hope I can knock a few bottles down and make a decent showing!” Chameleon says: “YOU keep on hoping; I’m going to be TRYING! Only those who TRY, have a CHANCE at success! That’s MY philosophy!” Suzie says: “That’s NOT a philosophy, that’s common SENSE!” (Confessional)

Suzie says: “I sure got lucky THIS time! Paired up against THESE two jokers? I’ll be able to psych them out for SURE; and that will leave the high SCORE status, to YOURS truly!” / Patrick says: “Suzie needs to be a LOT clearer when she asks me questions like that! I got all worked up for NOTHING!” / Chameleon says: “I’ll give Suzie credit for ONE thing; it’s not enough to just TRY for something, it also helps if you’re good at it! Thankfully, I seem to be a LOT better at being a good guy than I EVER was at being a bad guy, so I’d say my chances are looking pretty good right now!” (End Confessional) Suzie, holding one baseball at a time, takes aim, and knocks down ONE stack of bottles, than a SECOND stack of bottles, than a THIRD stack of bottles, earning her 180 points! Patrick goes next. His first throw is TOO far to the right, his second throw is TOO low, and his third throw is TOO far to the left, and he earns NOTHING! Chameleon does better, as his first throw takes out THREE bottles in one stack, his second throw takes out three MORE bottles in a second stack, and his third throw takes out two bottles in a third stack!

Chameleon smiles and says: “And believe it or not, I never had a SINGLE lesson!” Patrick says: “I believe that!” Suzie groans and says: “You ought to be doing BETTER!!!! I want you to be in the Final Three with me!” Chameleon rolls his eyes and says: “The only reason YOU want Patrick in the Final Three with you, is that YOU feel confident about YOUR chances against him, no matter WHAT the final challenge ends up being!” Suzie groans and says: “FINE! You got me, there! But at least I’m COURTEOUS enough to ADMIT it; unlike BULMA!!!!” (Confessional) Chameleon says: “Suzie does NOT know how to stay on guard against her fellow contestants. She continually underestimates Patrick. And one of these days, I have a feeling that it’s GOING to come back to HAUNT her!” / Suzie rolls her eyes and says: “I don’t see what the big deal is about WANTING a certain contestant to be with you once you get to the Final Three. As long as you’re honest about it, that’s what REALLY counts!” / Patrick says: “It feels both weird, and STRANGELY reassuring that Suzie wants me to be with her at the Final Three, for the sole purpose of WANTING to beat me once she gets there!” (End Confessional) The action finally shifts to the Wheel Spin, and the Wheel looks like a GIGANTIC copy of the one from “The Price is Right!” Bulma asks: “What is THIS?! Bargain discount day for challenges?!” Sniz says: “You can blame Fondue; this was his SECOND choice for a challenge today! However, since there ISN’T a reality show that has done this already, we feel that we can do this WITHOUT getting SUED by anybody! All you have to do is spin the giant wheel! Just make sure it goes all the way around at LEAST once if you want your spin to count, okay?” Bulma says: “Well, THAT shouldn’t be a problem for a sophisticated genius like myself! But just to be on the safe side, I’ll let Zarbon and SKIPPER go first!” Zarbon perks up and says: “WOW! That is really NICE of you, Bulma!” Skipper scoffs and says: “Nice, my FOOT!!!! She only want US to go first, so she can gauge how much FORCE she has to use in order to get the wheel spun in order to land on the 100 space, so SHE can rack up the most points!” Bulma merely says: “I’ll take care of YOU later, BIRD brain!” Skipper says: “Better to have a BIRD brain than a BRATTY brain ANYDAY, Bulma!” And Bulma growls angrily!

(Confessional) Bulma says: “Mark my words; after I get rid of Zarbon AND Captain Retro, Skipper is the NEXT to go! My plans have already gotten rid of him TWICE; I just need to strike him out one more time, and he’s GONE for good!” / Zarbon questioningly, asks: “Does Bulma REALLY only want me to go first, not because she’s nice; but just so she can see how much force it takes to land on the 100 spot?! Maybe I should only spin once, just in case that IS her plan!” / Skipper says: “Bulma is more transparent than a FISH tank; I can EASILY deduce just WHAT she is thinking of, and how she plans to GET what she wants! I’d like to land on the 100 spot, but not if it means that BULMA gets a clue as to how to land on it, as WELL! I’m spinning only once!” (End Confessional) Zarbon sighs and says: “Here goes nothing!” And Zarbon spins with a STRONG force! It spins around a bunch of times, and it LANDS on 95! Sniz says: “That was REALLY stellar!” Zarbon says: “Absolutely! No WAY that I wasn’t going to do well!” Bulma suddenly says: “Zarbon, you WILL spin again!” Zarbon sputters and says: “But I’ve already GOT a 95! I don’t want to go OVER!!!!” Bulma seriously says: “Spin and get 100! I want to WATCH you!” Zarbon says: “But I don’t…” Bulma YELLS: “SPIN 100 or I’ll tell EVERYONE about your DIRTY little SECRET!!!! There is NO way out of this ALLIANCE with ME, Zarbon!!!!” Skipper says: “Don’t do it, Zarbon, don’t play ball with her!” Zarbon trembles and says: “I HAVE no CHOICE! My GODLY beauty is all I’ve got!” General Barracuda comes in and says: “SNIZ!!!! I just found EVIDENCE that Zarbon has been USING the Editing ROOM!!!! That room is STRICTLY off-limits to contestants!” Sniz seriously says: “Zarbon, have YOU been using the Editing Room? And don’t LIE to us!” Zarbon sighs and says: “FINE! I have USED the Editing Room ONCE, maybe TWICE during my time as a contestant! Who CARES?! You’re NOT going to do anything to me ANYWAYS; you’re going to let me go because the ratings I give you are WAY too HIGH to ever eliminate ME!!!!” Sniz says: “We won’t eliminate you, but we ARE docking 50 points off your current score! You’re at 45 now; so you have to get a 55 if you want a 100!” Bulma says: “You’re STILL going to spin 100, RIGHT Zarbon?!” Zarbon says: “I’ll try my best, but NO promises!” (Confessional)

Zarbon says: “Skipper MUST have used the Editing Room! Is he TRYING to find any dirt on me? Not that it matters; Skipper’s efforts are completely FRUITLESS against me! I have GOT this game in the palm of my hands!” / Skipper groans and says: “FIGURES!!!! I try to get ZARBON in TROUBLE, and it ends up HELPING him out in this CHALLENGE!!!! Nobody could have such ROTTEN luck as ME!!!!” / Bulma chuckles as she says: “I KNEW Skipper couldn’t resist TRYING to make Zarbon LOOK bad! That’s why I’ve been having a TINY little camera drone FOLLOW Skipper wherever he goes! When I saw that Skipper was trying to frame Zarbon, I simply informed General Barracuda to TELL us about ‘Zarbon’s’ incident, and give us the correct information during this challenge! That definitely helps out Zarbon, but he STILL better TRY to land on the 100 space, if he values his alliance with me!” (End Confessional) Zarbon says: “All right, here I go again!” Zarbon once again does a mighty spin; that goes around a bunch of times, and it lands on 45! Sniz says: “45 plus 45 equals 90! Let’s see if Skipper can beat that!” Bulma asks: “Skipper, how would YOU like a 50/50 cut of the $44.44 million pay-off?! All you have to do is land on the 100 space!” Skipper scoffs and replies: “After the whole ordeal with MARLENE?! You’re lucky that I don’t give you a PIECE of my mind; especially since it would be SO much better than the mind you’re using RIGHT now!!!!” Bulma seriously says: “I can have Zarbon DESTROY Marlene!!!!” Skipper says: “My penguin friends won’t EVER let it come to THAT! You’re going to have to do BETTER than THAT idle threat!” (Confessional) Bulma groans and says: “I SWEAR; Skipper is even WORSE than Marlene when it comes to being STUBBORN!!!!” / Skipper says: “You just got to realize that Bulma’s threats are completely hollow and devoid of any REAL malice, and it pops the air RIGHT out of her sails! Bulma, DOESN’T scare me!” (End Confessional)

Skipper does a BIG spin! It’s not quite as mighty as Zarbon’s, but it goes around a few times, and it lands on an 80. Sniz says: “That’s 80 points! You can either keep it, or try to get a 20, which would give you 100, AND a bonus spin!” Skipper says: “Mama didn’t raise a fool; I mostly raised MYSELF!!!! But I’m quitting while I’m ahead, and walking away with the 80! You’ll have to try and get that 100 points, all on your OWN, Bulma!” Bulma angrily says: “CURSE my non-athletic skills and my PATHETIC arm muscles! But I’m NOT giving up! I’m DETERMINED to get a HIGH score!” Bulma TRIES her best, but even with ALL her force, she’s BARELY able to get the wheel around a little more than one full rotation; and the wheel lands on 25. Bulma groans and says: “I’m spinning AGAIN!!!!” Bulma tries again, but her second spin isn’t MUCH better than her FIRST one, as the wheel lands on 40. Sniz says: “That’s 65 points total! It’s time to reset the challenges, and have everyone shuffle to their next one in order. You also have an opportunity to take a five minute break. And Bulma, I think you could HONESTLY use one!” (Confessional) Bulma groans and says: “That DOES it! I TRIED to be GENTLE about it! I TRIED asking nicely; I gave Zarbon EVERY bit of myself, and what does he do?! He doesn’t even SHOW me how to LAND on 100 with MY limited muscles! As of right now, he is D-E-A-D, DEAD to ME!!!! But I won’t get rid of him just YET!!!! I’ll carry him along to the next challenge before I DUMP him on international television! As for this challenge, all I got to do is NOT come in last, and I’ll be safe! I’ll let the chips fall where they may, and let the most unlucky contestant take the FALL this time!” / Skipper says: “I think Marlene is starting to rub off on me. I usually wouldn’t quit unless I won the whole enchilada, or the 100 points in THIS case! But Marlene’s influence has taught me that sometimes, it is better to go with the safe bet, than with an unsafe gamble!” (End Confessional) The contestants are all shuffling to their next game of choice, when the male contestants all run INTO each other in the middle of the theme park! Chameleon asks: “Say, where are the girls at?” Skipper rolls his eyes and says: “They’re ALL using the bathroom, at the SAME time!” Patrick asks: “Why do girls even DO that?!” Captain Retro says: “Sometimes, it IS just a natural occurrence!” Dudley says: “But often, it’s to trade gossip and talk SMACK about guys they don’t like!” Zarbon says: “I KNEW it! Nothing gets past ME!!!!” (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!) Sniz says: “You know what THAT sound means! MUSIC to my ears, and singing to everyone else’s! And this time, for a change, only the MALE contestants have to sing this song!”

Chameleon says: “Oh, BOY!!!! As if we didn’t have ENOUGH to worry about today!” Sniz says: “And for an added challenge, I want it to be a song ORIGINALLY sung by Jefferson Starship, about being trapped in a situation you don’t like, with ZARBON as the lead singer!” Zarbon sighs and says: “Well, at least BULMA isn’t here to HEAR this! I’ll go ahead and sing!” /

Genre: Rock. Sub-genre: Jefferson Starship. Song: “No Way Out!” Sung by: Zarbon, Patrick, Chameleon, Captain Retro, Skipper and Sniz! / Zarbon: “No intentions, whatsoever. I was gone for a night, nothing's forever. The cruel daylight, brought me back to my senses.” Patrick: “Back to my senses!” Zarbon: “Got caught in here, under false pretenses. No way out! None, whatever. I made up the story, thought it was clever. She didn't ask, and I got no reply.” Chameleon: “Got no reply!” Zarbon: “But later that night, I heard her cry!” Captain Retro: “No way out!” Zarbon: “She doesn't buy my story! No!” Captain Retro: “No way out!” Zarbon: “She doesn't buy my story!” Captain Retro: “No way out!” Zarbon: “She doesn't buy my story! No accusations, whatsoever. But can she forget? Nothing's forever. Since yesterday, she's a little bit colder.” Skipper: “A little bit colder!” Zarbon: “Won't happen again; what could I have told her?” Captain Retro: “No way out!” Zarbon: “She doesn't buy my story! No!” Captain Retro: “No way out!” Zarbon: “She doesn't buy my story! No!” Captain Retro: “No way out!” Zarbon: “She doesn't buy my story!” Sniz, about Katie: “Doesn't buy my story!” (Guitar solo) Zarbon: “How can she tell, the truth from the lies? How does she know, when to close her eyes? She doesn't want to lose me, so she only sees what she wants to see!” Captain Retro: “No way out!” Zarbon: “She doesn't buy my story! No!” Captain Retro: “No way out!” Zarbon: “She doesn't buy my story! No!” Captain Retro: “No way out!” Zarbon: “She doesn't buy my story! No!” Captain Retro: “No way out!” Zarbon: “No way out! No!” Captain Retro: “No way out!” / And the epic song, ends. / But as Bulma EXITS the restroom, her eyes are SEETHING with anger, meaning that she has CLEARLY heard what Zarbon has just been singing about!

(Confessional) Bulma says: “Someone has been very NAUGHTY!!!! And in that case, that someone is ZARBON!!!! I was kind of half-guessing myself as to whether getting rid of Zarbon WAS the right move to make; but after hearing Zarbon sing THAT song; it’s no longer a guess! After THIS challenge, ZARBON will be the NEXT to go!” / Zarbon says: “I HAD to get my feelings out to SOMEBODY! And since BULMA wouldn’t be understanding of them, the guys were my next best choice! I mean, I’m probably going to have to fight against Captain Retro in the next challenge, but at the very least, I want him to know how I truly feel about the whole thing.” / Captain Retro shakes his head and says: “Poor Zarbon; he really HAS grown to care for Bulma! That’s just going to make it all the more tragic for when the time comes, that Bulma ends up breaking his heart, and SHATTERS all his expectations for a relationship. I WOULD feel sorry for him, but he DOES have it coming for not REALIZING the AWFUL truth about Bulma, SOONER!” (End Confessional) A montage of the remaining games of chance is shown! Reggie knocks down all THREE stacks of her bottles, Dudley doesn’t knock down any, and Captain Retro knocks down sixteen bottles total. / Skipper pops FIVE of his balloons, Zarbon only pops three, and Bulma pops four. / At the Wheel Spin, Suzie spins 75 on her first and only spin; Patrick spins 60 in a combination of two spins, and Chameleon spins 95 in a combination of two spins. / At the Bottle Toss, Zarbon knocks down all THREE stacks of his bottles, Skipper knocks down thirteen of his bottles, and Bulma (with her lack-luster muscles) has to try THREE times, just to knock down ONE stack of bottles! / At the balloon pop, Suzie pops FIVE of her balloons, Chameleon pops four, and Patrick only pops one. / And at the Wheel Spin, Captain Retro spins 80 in a combination of two spins; Dudley spins a 65 in his first spin, but he OVER-Spins on his second spin, gets a 55, which means he goes over and doesn’t get ANY points! But Reggie, does something AMAZING on her FIRST spin, as she LANDS on the 100 space EXACTLY!!!! Sniz says: “That is PERFECT, Reggie! Now you get to spin again!” Reggie says: “All right!” And using her bonus spin, Reggie manages to get a 70 in her second spin, giving her 170 points for THAT event total! Sniz says: “Well, I think we know who our winner is!” /

The contestants are all gathered in front of the theme park, ready to hear the results of the challenge. Sniz says: “My fellow contestants, you will be pleased to know that we have a clear winner in this challenge. And for ONCE, it ISN’T Captain Retro! The winner, with an unprecedented 450 points, is Reggie Rocket!!!!” Bulma yells: “WHAT?!!! Those should be MY 450 points that won it for ME today!” Sniz says: “Reggie, you get to choose a contestant of your choice, to share the V.I.P. Lounge treatment with you.” Reggie says: “Well, since I can’t pick Rocko, I pick Captain Retro. I promised Rocko that I would do my best to protect him for as long as I could.” Sniz says: “Than with that being said, we have a CLEAR loser who lost EVERY single game of skill and chance that they attempted! Dudley, I’m afraid you scored nothing; which means you are automatically eliminated from this challenge!” Chameleon cries and says: “NO!!!! Dudley, I’m going to MISS you!” Dudley comforts Chameleon says: “Don’t cry for me, Chameleon. The truth is, I’ll NEVER leave you! After all, I’m always with you in your heart, and you’ve proven to everyone here, that you really HAVE one where it counts!” Chameleon says: “Thank you, Dudley. That means a lot to me!” Dudley takes off the shirt he’s wearing, and gives it to Captain Retro. Dudley says: “A little souvenir, for all the fun times and good challenges we spent together.” Captain Retro says: “I’ll be sure to wear it; once I’ve WASHED it a little! But won’t YOU get cold?” Dudley gets on a motorcycle and says: “Nah! Shirts are over-rated anyways! I can’t wait for the finale! ADIOS, AMIGOS!!!!” And Dudley zooms out of sight! Sniz says: “And with that, we are down to the FINAL Eight contestants, for Total Cartoon Global Cruise! Zarbon, Bulma, Captain Retro, Chameleon, Skipper, Suzie, Patrick, and Reggie! Any one of them has a chance of either winning it big, or being the next contestant having to pack their bags out of this competition! We’ll be finding out who will get one step closer to the grand prize, on the next exciting episode, of Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” /

Epilogue: Dudley is zooming down the freeways, and singing about his love relationship with Chameleon, by singing HIS version of a hit Aretha Franklin hit song! / Genre: Dance-pop. Sub-genre: Aretha Franklin. Song: “Freeway of Love” (Single version). Sung by: Dudley! / Dudley: “Knew you'd be a vision in white. How'd you get your pants so tight? Don't know what you're doing, but you must be living right, yeah! We got some places to see, I brought all the maps with me. So jump in, it’s no sin; take a ride in my machine! City traffic's moving way too slow; drop the pedal and go, go, go! We’re going riding on the freeway of love; wind's against our back. We’re going riding on the freeway of love, in my pink Cadillac! We’re going riding on the freeway of love; wind's against our back. Ain't we riding on the freeway of love in my pink Cadillac? Never mind the exit signs, we got lots of time. We can't quit until we get to the other side! With the radio playing our song, we keep rolling on! Who knows how far a car can get before you think about slowing, slowing down, yeah! City traffic's moving, way too slow! Drop the pedal and go, go; come on now, go! We’re going riding on the freeway of love; wind's against our back. We’re going riding on the freeway of love, in my pink Cadillac! We’re going riding on the freeway of love; wind's against our back. Ain't we riding on the freeway of love in my pink Cadillac? Here we go, one more time! (Saxophone solo) With the wind and your fingers in my hand; kind of think we are going for an extended throw down. So drop the top, baby, and let's cruise on into, this better than ever street! City traffic moving way too slow; drop the pedal and go, go. Come on baby, go, do it for me now! Were going riding on the freeway of love; wind's against my back! We’re going riding on the freeway of love, in my pink Cadillac. We’re going riding on the freeway of love; wind's against my back! Ain't we riding on the freeway of love, in my pink Cadillac?” / And the epic song ends! /

Episode Notes: First time that Reggie Rocket has won a solo immunity challenge, and she shares V.I.P. Lounge treatment with Captain Retro, honoring her promise to Rocko to help protect Captain Retro. Dudley is automatically eliminated, for being unable to score any points within this challenge. With his elimination, Chameleon is now the only contestant from “T.U.F.F. Puppy,” left to represent that show. Featured songs in this episode are “Take on Me; No Way Out;” and “Freeway of Love!” /

Personal Notes: With the exception of “Start Me Up, Part Two,” I think I can safely say that this is the SHORTEST episode of “Total Cartoon Global Cruise” that I’ve written so far! I mean, I probably COULD have made the episode last a little longer if I WANTED to; but I also REALLY want to get to the EXCITING episodes that are on the horizon! Besides, just because an episode is shorter, doesn’t mean that it’s not as good as an episode that is longer. Also, I really want to thank Renegade the Unicorn, for allowing me to use the concept of his abandoned “Power Rangers Multiverse Force” episode idea, of “A Day at Bucket Head Land.” It SAVED me from having to copy another EPISODE of “Total Drama World Tour,” by allowing me to use a more ORIGINAL episode idea for this episode, so Renegade the Unicorn gets full co-writing credit for this episode; a “Total Cartoon” FIRST, I might add! / That’s my episode idea for today!  Enough said, true believers!

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Life is a Beach!

 

                The action opens up in the Juice Bar, which has gotten to be a pretty popular spot. The Rangers are all there, and so are BlackHawk, D.O.G., Bash, and Smash! There are also two NORMAL women there! One of them is blonde, and VERY familiar to BlackHawk, while the other has black hair, and is VERY suspicious to D.O.G.’s sensitivities. All of the sudden, Sans rushes in with an excited look on his face! Sans says: “Guys, stop what you’re doing!”

 

Lettuce says: “But we’re not really DOING anything!”

 

Sans says: “Never mind that! I just got accepted into an exciting new opportunity! Who has two thumbs, AND just became a lifeguard at the Coastal Falls Beach?! THIS guy!!!!”

 

Toby says: “Congratulations, Sans.”

 

BlackHawk says: “It seems like every time I see you, you’re ALWAYS getting yourself into a new job opportunity of some kind.”

 

Sans says: “I can’t see myself constantly tied down to just ONE job; besides, variety is the spice of life! I hope to see you all there!” And Sans leaves the Juice Bar!

 

Ebony sighs and says: “Well, I guess we KNOW what we’re ALL doing today!”

 

Naruto jokingly asks: “Are we going to try to take over the world?!”

 

Ebony says: “WRONG series, Naruto! We’re going to the beach!”

 

Usagi says: “You don’t sound too excited about that.”

 

Ebony rolls her eyes and says: “Hello! I AM a quarter Vampire! And we DON’T exactly do our best in the hot, blazing SUN!”

 

Smash says: “You’re not worried about burning up, are you? There IS sun-screen for that!”

 

Bash rolls his eyes and says: “Vampires don’t burn up, they GLITTER! Besides, if we’re going to the beach, it will be a PERFECT opportunity for me to show off my surfing skills!”

 

Undyne asks: “You SURF, Bash?!”

 

Bash says: “When school is NOT in session! I live with my parents, Brenda and Brendon, and they are HAPPY knowing that I want to become a professional surfer! I’m pretty good at it, you know!”

 

D.O.G. says: “Let us go to the beach! I ever do SO want us to go to the beach!”

 

BlackHawk says: “Don’t worry, we’ll go there.”

 

Papyrus says: “I wish WE could go there, but we have a Juice Bar to run.”

 

Lettuce says: “Don’t worry about it. We’ll send you an old-fashioned post card, once we GET there!”

 

Undyne rolls her eyes and says: “VERY funny, you guys!”

 

Everyone EXCEPT the two ‘normal’ women leave the Juice Bar, and Papyrus asks the black-haired woman: “So, do YOU have any plans for later?”

 

The black-haired woman chuckles and in a CREEPY, familiar voice, says: “As a matter of fact, I do!” And the black-haired woman SHEDS her human appearance to reveal the FAMILIAR Vipera!

 

Undyne disgustedly says: “I KNEW something seemed OFF with YOU!”

 

Vipera rhetorically asks: “Why don’t you SLEEP on it in the MEANTIME?!” And Vipera throws two small BOMBS at them!

 

Papyrus groans and groggily says: “I…hate…sleep gas bombs.” And Papyrus and Undyne both fall down on the counter, unconscious.

 

Vipera chuckles, and switches the “Open” sign, to “Closed”, on the Juice Bar. Vipera says: “Emperor Diabolica will be SO pleased to hear about THIS!!!!” And Vipera disappears!

 

The blonde-haired woman, suddenly gets up, and BRIEFLY assumes a FAMILIAR purple hair-do! She says: “Zordon was RIGHT! I WAS going to be needed here! BlackHawk is going to need the help of a RANGER if he’s going to keep his Orange Ruby! Luckily for him, I, KARONE, will be there to help protect him!” And Karone, in a pink beam of light, teleports out of there!

 

But an invisible rippling is seen outside of the Juice Bar, and it FORMS into Mirror! Mirror says: “And the Hedrian Clan is going to make SURE that you FAIL!” And Mirror teleports out of there! /

 

On Emperor Diabolica’s space-ship, Drako is putting the FINAL touches into his latest blood vial! Baphomet groans and asks: “With all due respect, your rottenness, wouldn’t it be a MUCH better idea, and a MUCH better use of time, to send a REAL monster after the Rangers?! Someone like ME?!”

 

Emperor Diabolica scoffs and says: “If you spent less time COMPLAINING, and more time TRAINING, I WOULD send you after the Rangers! But don’t you worry, Drako has been working ALL week on THIS little monster!”

 

Drako says: “The word, ‘Little,’ is not the word I would use to describe this Blood Beast. It is one part cool, one part creepy, one part octopus, and one part Cthulu! With THESE ingredients, we have a guaranteed WINNER on our hands!”

 

Vipera appears in the space-ship and says: “Circe’s latest magical ritual works, my lord! I was at the Rangers’ favorite Juice Bar, and they didn’t suspect a THING!!!!”

 

Kraky sarcastically says: “Yeah, it’s nice to know that Circe isn’t COMPLETELY useless!”

 

Circe says: “I RESNT that remark!”

 

Emperor Diabolica gets a CREEPY smile, and says: “That is MOST excellent! In your human disguise, you will be able to INFILTRATE into BlackHawk’s circle of friends, and be able to PRY the Orange Ruby AWAY from him, when he LEAST suspects it!”

 

Drako says: “And once BlackHawk no longer has the Orange Ruby, he will not be able to weaken my newest Blood Beast! We will make Mince-Meat out of those Rangers, and Emperor Diabolica will FINALLY get what he desires!” And under his breath, Drako adds: “Heaven help us all!”

 

And Drako throws down the vial of blood on the ground, and it FORMS into a half-octopus, half Cthulu based monster! The monstrosity wiggles around, and says: “I am OCTHULU!!!! I am ready to destroy those annoying Power Rangers at your command, Emperor!”

 

Emperor Diabolica says: “Excellent! Go down to the beach, and when the Power Rangers decide to take a little ‘swim,’ you make sure it’s the LAST swim they ever take!”

 

Octhulu says: “The Rangers will NEVER suspect to find ME, hiding in the ocean waves!” And with a SPLASH of water, that SPLASHES onto everyone in the ship, Octhulu teleports out of there!

 

Drako says: “Note to self, got to watch out for the splash-back effect!”

 

Emperor Diabolica turns to Vipera, and he says: “You know, what to do, don’t you Vipera?”

 

Vipera smiles, and she says: “I, or, that IS to say…” And Vipera turns into her HUMAN appearance and with a kinder tone of voice, she says: “I, VIOLA, will be able to play BlackHawk, like a HARP; and NO one will be able to STOP us THIS time!” And Vipera/Viola teleports out of there!

 

Circe sighs and says: “If ONLY Vipera acted THAT nice with US the rest of the time, we’d feel a LOT better about working with her; wouldn’t we, Kraky?”

 

Kraky says: “My sentiments exactly, Circe!” /

 

At Queen Hedrian’s base, General Shogun is busy, training in a simulation fight against the Rangers! Everyone else perks up when Mirror returns, elated by her latest news! Mirror says: “We have our latest plan of attack against the Rangers, my Queen! They will be going to the beach today! It will be a PERFECT time to strike them; while they are COMPLETELY off-guard!”

 

Queen Hedrian excitedly says: “That is most excellent news!”

 

Demon King Banriki asks: “The more pressing question is; which monster should we use to attack against the Rangers THIS time?!”

 

Keller steps up and says: “Send me!”

 

General Shogun yells: “STOP!!!!” And the simulation battle he is currently in, ends. General Shogun says: “I’m begging you, Keller; PLEASE reconsider! You are the WEAKEST main fighter out of the ENTIRE Hedrian Clan! Do not throw your life away on some MEANINGLESS fight!”

 

Keller says: “My only purpose is to serve MY Queen, and my Queen, is QUEEN Hedrian! If I am NOT able to perform my duty and live up to the expectations that Queen Hedrian herself has set for the rest of you, than I am unfit and incapable of fighting along with the rest of you! I know full well the risks and dangers that face me if I accept this mission; but I would be MORE unable to live with myself, if I chose to remain here, and spend my life as a coward! I couldn’t do that to myself, and I couldn’t do that to my Queen. Therefore, I accept the Hedrian Clan ritual, and allow Queen Hedrian to awaken my TRUE, full potential! I will either, DESTROY the Rangers; and retrieve the Orange Ruby, or I will be destroyed in the process! Either way, I shall accept whatever fate has in store for me. I will not question the outcome of this upcoming battle!”

 

Queen Hedrian says: “Very well! I shall grant you THIS request! Ancestors of the Hedrian Clan, sources of black magic and darkness, heed my magic spell! With this ancient ritual, I shall now remove ALL traces of Keller’s inhibitions, and allow her to fight to her full potential and strength, against the forces of goodness! Namely, the Power Rangers! I am well aware that once this ritual is invoked, it cannot be removed under ANY circumstances! I invoke this pact on behalf of Keller, to give her the strength she needs, to DESTROY the Power Rangers, ONCE and for all!”

 

And in a blast of electricity, Keller transforms from a silver-colored woman, into a SILVER spiked monstrosity! In a lower voice, Keller says: “The Rangers WILL never be able to beat my plans, NOW!!!! I shall strike and DESTROY them when they least suspect it!” And Keller disappears!

 

Mirror sighs and says: “My Queen, make sure that my twin SISTER doesn’t get KILLED in this battle against the Power Rangers!”

 

Queen Hedrian says: “You know that I CAN’T guarantee her safety! Besides, she’s already invoked the ancient ritual of the Hedrian Clan! It will not stop until she has either succeeded in her goal, or she is destroyed! However, I MIGHT go to the beach myself, IF I see that Keller is in trouble!”

 

General Shogun says: “It is very possible. Even in these simulation battles, even I am having trouble holding my own against just SIX Power Rangers!”

 

Demon King Banriki says: “Which is WHY we can’t allow the Orange Ruby to AWAKEN under the ownership of that TINY sparrow, BLACKHAWK!”

 

Queen Hedrian says: “Agreed. We’re taking a BIG risk in allowing Keller to go through with this plan that she has. It had better WORK, or else we’ll have to send General Shogun after BlackHawk, next!”

 

General Shogun gulps in nervousness and says: “Oh, boy!” /

 

The Rangers, except for Ebony, have all arrived at the beach. Naruto has brought a red surfboard, and is wearing red swimming shorts and his red headband; Toby is wearing a full-body, blue swimsuit, along with some scuba gear and a blue surfboard; Pinkie Pie is wearing a pink, two-piece polka-dotted bikini, pink sunglasses and has brought a pink picnic basket; Lettuce is wearing green swimming shorts and has brought a green inner tube; Usagi is wearing a yellow sun-hat, yellow sandals, and a full-body, yellow, underwater uniform, making her look like something out of “Baywatch;” and BlackHawk arrives, wearing brown shorts, his Orange Ruby, and having brought along D.O.G., a brown picnic basket AND a brown surfboard! BlackHawk says: “You know, you guys should REALLY think about…NOT wearing colors that are the SAME as your Ranger colors! I mean, Bash and Smash; they obviously won’t GET it; but for someone like me, the color symbolism is a BIG give-away!”

 

Naruto says: “You’ll have to take it up with Omnus. When you’re a Ranger, you are often REQUIRED to wear clothes that are the same color as your Ranger color. It’s an ancient Eltarian tradition, and it goes back generations!”

 

BlackHawk says: “I always DID wonder about that!”

 

Usagi’s EYES open up wide and she asks: “Is THAT Ebony?!!!”

 

And Toby’s jaw LITTERALLY does a Tex Avery styled jaw-drop, when she sees Ebony in a two-piece, black bikini, wearing a black hat, black sunglasses, and wearing lots, and LOTS, of sun-screen!!!! Toby runs up to Ebony and says: “Babe, where have YOU been all my life?!”

 

Ebony rolls her eyes and says: “Sorry.” She spreads her arms out to indicate something, and she says: “You have to be at LEAST this muscular before I will GIVE you the time of day!”

 

Lettuce says: “BURN!!!!”

 

D.O.G. turns to BlackHawk and says: “Throw the ball, I EVER do so want you to throw the ball!”

 

BlackHawk says: “Patience, D.O.G., we promised to meet with Sans first.”

 

Sans runs up, wearing what LOOKS like the same clothes he always wears, except it is ALL in red! Sans says: “You guys all made it! You should check out Bash; he is REALLY tearing up the waves, and in a PROFESSIONAL matter TOO, I might add!”

 

The Rangers look, and they can see that Bash is navigating some PRETTY big waves, and doing some trick maneuvers they never THOUGHT he could do!

 

Pinkie says: “Wow! The bird is GOOD!”

 

BlackHawk chuckles, and says: “He was BOUND to be good at SOMETHING!!!!”

 

A black-haired woman comes up, and in a polite matter, asks: “Excuse me, which one of you is the Legendary BlackHawk Little?”

 

The Rangers turn around, and they SEE Viola, not REALIZING that she’s ACTUALLY Vipera in DISGUISE! But D.O.G. isn’t so EASILY fooled! D.O.G. says: “I don’t know about this! There seems to be something OFF about this woman! I can’t quite put my paw on it, but it does seem to be QUITE…”

 

Viola quickly says: “Does pretty dog want the ball? Does pretty dog want to get the pretty ball? Does pretty dog want to CATCH the pretty ball? Then go, FETCH the pretty ball!” And Viola throws NOTHING, but D.O.G. thinks that Viola has, and D.O.G. goes SCRAMBLING for the ‘invisible’ ball!

 

BlackHawk sighs and says: “You’ll have to forgive my companion. He’s not exactly…fond of strangers.”

 

Viola says: “Understandable. Allow me to introduce myself to you, and I will no longer be a STRANGER anymore! I am…Viola! I have been looking for BlackHawk Little. Perhaps you are him?”

 

BlackHawk says: “I am indeed. I’m surprised that I don’t have to introduce MYSELF, for once!”

 

Viola says: “Your reputation is well-deserved! You see, I am seeking a big, STRONG, muscular guy to aid me, in a DANGEROUS quest of sorts! And you, are the STRONGEST guy around!”

 

Naruto sputters, and SERIOUSLY asks: “Are you FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!! If HE’S the strongest; then I’M…whatever VIPERA is supposed to BE, ANYWAYS!!!!”

 

Pinkie laughs and she says: “Agreed! It’s like, she’s half human, and half…something ELSE!!!!”

 

Ebony says: “Even I’M less complicated than that!”

 

Toby says: “You certainly don’t want to get a snake bite from HER!!!!”

 

Vipera’s EYES BREIFLY burn under her Viola guise, and she says: “Why, I ought to…”

 

BlackHawk says: “Just ignore those guys! You don’t need to worry about this ‘Vipera,’ you’ll probably never even meet her!”

 

Viola RESUMES her ‘kind’ demeanor, and she says: “You’re probably right about THAT remark! But before I sign you up, I’d like to know more about you; if you don’t mind!”

 

BlackHawk’s eyes genuinely light up and he gets all goofy and he says: “WOW! A day at the beach, being called the strongest, AND a woman who is interested in ME?!!! This day can’t POSSIBLY get any better!”

 

Viola says: “I’m just a couple of umbrellas away!” And Viola walks toward a purple umbrella and purple beach towel.

 

BlackHawk goofily says: “I’ve got a date with a GODDESS!!!!” And BlackHawk LITERALLY flies after her, with comedic HEARTS floating in the air around him!

 

Lettuce asks: “Does BlackHawk ALWAYS act…adorkable whenever he gets around girls?”

 

Smash Swallow comes up and says: “Like you WOULDN’T believe! He acts all gruff and tough on the outside! But on the inside, he’s a real SAP for girls and pets! It’s that sweet, little soft spot he has! That’s why Bash and I are friends with him. You just got to get to know him for a while.”

 

Karone comes RUNNING toward them, in slow motion, and Naruto asks: “What IS it with women running all SLOW motion on the beach?! What is this, Bionic Woman?!”

 

Smash says: “I don’t know. But I’m going to get a bite and go for a swim! I get hungry whenever I’m WAITING for something to happen!”

 

Smash leaves, and Pinkie asks: “WAIT!!!! Aren’t you supposed to WAIT 30 minutes after EATING?!”

 

Karone finally arrives, and she says: “Excuse me, do any of you know where BlackHawk is?”

 

Toby’s eyes light up and, and he says: “I recognize you! Didn’t you used to be ASTRONEMA?!!!”

 

Karone chuckles and says: “I haven’t gone by THAT name in a LONG time! You can call me Karone!”

 

Usagi says: “And YOU used to be…”

 

Karone says: “A Power Ranger? Yes. But Zordon brought me, and some OTHER previous legendary Power Rangers here for an upcoming important mission! Zordon isn’t sure what it is yet, but what he IS sure of, is that when it happens, the current team of Power Rangers is going to need OUR help for whatever it is we have to face against!”

 

Naruto says: “You are in luck then, we just happen to BE, the current team of Power Rangers!”

 

Karone says: “And a FINE team of Power Rangers you are! But where is BlackHawk?”

 

Pinkie says: “It’s like a merry-go-round! You are the SECOND woman today who has asked for BlackHawk! It’s like he’s turning into a glorified dating web site!”

 

Karone groans and says: “Oh, no. That’s not GOOD!”

 

Lettuce asks: “Why is it not good?”

 

Karone says: “Because that other woman, must be--!!”

 

But Karone never GETS to finish her thought, because at that PRECISE moment, the monstrous KELLER jumps out of the sand, and starts BLASTING at the un-morphed Rangers!

 

Ebony asks: “Is THAT Keller?! She sure looks DIFFERENT!”

 

Karone gasps and says: “She’s invoked the ancient Hedrian Clan RITUAL! They must be getting DESPERATE in trying to get back the Orange Ruby!”

 

Toby groans and says: “I am getting SICK of all these bad guys WANTING that Orange Ruby so BADLY!”

 

Naruto gasps as he HAS an epiphany! Naruto says: “And I don’t think that the Hedrian Clan is the only force of evil, TRYING! How much do you want to bet; that Viola is a 24 karat PHONY?!”

 

Karone says: “That’s what I was TRYING to tell you!”

 

The monstrous Keller says: “If you want to save BlackHawk SO badly, you’re going to have to destroy ME, in order to do it! And I’m no PUSH-OVER like the OTHER monsters you’ve fought!”

 

Ebony says: “Reverse Lumos!”

 

And the light briefly goes out over the beach! Karone says: “Now is your chance!”

 

Usagi says: “Right! It’s MORPHING time!” /

 

Ebony says: “Velociraptor!” / Toby says: “Stegosaurus!” / Pinkie says: “Ankylosaurus!” / Lettuce says: “Triceratops!” / Usagi says: “Hadrosaurus!” / Naruto says: “Tyrannosaurus!” /

 

And the light returns when the Rangers are fully morphed!

 

The monstrous Keller says: “Dusters, ATTACK!!!!” And a bunch of evil skeleton warriors, with hardened SAND weapons, appear!

 

Pinkie says: “Let’s take out the trash, and clean up this beach!”

 

And while the Rangers are fighting the Dusters, a hit song by The Beach Boys inexplicably plays! / “Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with me! (Come on and safari with...) Early in the morning we'll be startin' out, some honeys will be coming along. We're loading up our Woody, with our boards inside, and headin' out, singing our song. Come on (surfin') baby wait and see; (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Come along (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with me! (Come on and safari with...) At Huntington and Malibu, they're shooting the pier. At Rincon they're walking the nose. We're going on safari to the islands this year. So if you're coming, get ready to go. Come on (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes, I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Come along (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with me! (Come on and safari with...) They're anglin' in Laguna in Cerro Azul. They're kicking out in Doheny, too. I tell you, surfing's mighty wild. It's getting bigger every day, from Hawaii to the shores of Peru. Come on (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Come along, (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with me! (Come on and safari with...) With me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari.” / And the epic song ends as all the Dusters are broken into pieces, and disappear! /

 

Lettuce says: “Looks like they don’t make evil skeletons like they used to!”

 

The monstrous Keller says: “Who NEEDS skeletons?! With MY spikes, I have MORE lasers than you can shake a STICK at!!!!”

 

And from ALL her many SPIKES, electric lasers start ZAPPING at the Rangers, causing them to scream out in PAIN!!!! /

 

BlackHawk snaps OUT of his romantic lunch with Viola, and says: “Say, is that the Rangers in the middle of a fight?! Maybe I better go help!”

 

Vipera briefly forgets herself, and in her REAL voice says: “NO, BLACKHAWK!!!!”

 

BlackHawk gives her a look, and Vipera/Viola clears her throat, and in her Viola voice, she says: “It’s too DANGEROUS, BlackHawk!”

 

BlackHawk says: “I know it’s DANGEROUS, but that’s why I HAVE to help them!”

 

Viola says: “But you WOULDN’T want to DAMAGE that pretty, Orange Ruby of yours, would you? Maybe I better hold ON to it, for you!”

 

Viola tries to TOUCH the Orange Ruby, but it ZAPS her with ORANGE electricity, REPELLING her away like the Ruby Slippers REPELLED the Wicked Witch of the West! Vipera even screams: “AHHH!!!!” And she gets BLOWN away, and her TRUE form as VIPERA is revealed!

 

BlackHawk gasps and says: “YOU?!!! What is the MEANING of this?!!!”

 

Vipera angrily says: “Curses, curses, CURSES!!!! That WASN’T supposed to HAPPEN!!!!”

 

BlackHawk says: “Well, I didn’t MEAN to do that! Does that mean the date is over?”

 

Vipera angrily says: “Foolish QUESTION; we never WERE on a date! Furthermore, this ‘Viola’ person DOESN’T exist, and she never DID!!!! I was such a fool; I should’ve realized this SOONER!!!! Once that Orange Ruby BONDS with somebody; nobody else can EVER take it from that person…as LONG as they’re ALIVE!!!! But that’s NOT what’s worrying me; it’s HOW to do it! These things must be done DELICATELY! Or you’ll HURT the magic powers!!!!”

 

Than D.O.G. comes running up BEHIND her, and BITES her in the butt!!!! Vipera SCREAMS: “AHHH!!!!”

 

D.O.G. says: “That woman you are with is a CLEAR imposter!!!!”

 

BlackHawk says: “I kind of NOTICED!!!!”

 

Vipera angrily says: “Oh, why you LITTLE--!!!!” And she KICKS D.O.G. SEVERAL yards AWAY!!!!

 

BlackHawk angrily says: “How DARE you?! Bad enough you tried to DECEIVE me, but absolutely NO potential LOVE interest of MINE kicks D.O.G. and gets AWAY with it! We are THROUGH!!!!”

 

And BlackHawk tries to ZAP Vipera with the Orange Ruby, but Vipera says: “Anaconda Armor!!!!” And Vipera PROTECTS herself with super HARD snake armor, but the magic of the Orange Ruby BOUNCES off of her, and ZAPS Keller!!!!

 

Suddenly, Keller finds herself UNABLE to shoot anymore lasers! Keller panics and says: “Queen HEDRIAN; more ENERGY, NOW!!!!”

 

Toby slyly says: “Out of juice, are you? That’s TOO bad, Keller! Power weapons, NOW!!!!”

 

Queen Hedrian appears and says: “Oh, NO; you DON’T!!!! I’m not letting YOU win THIS time, like you HAVE been doing!”

 

Naruto defiantly says: “So YOU’RE the Queen Hedrian that has been going after the Orange Ruby!”

 

Queen Hedrian angrily says: “It’s MY Orange Ruby, and nobody takes MY Orange Ruby AWAY from me!”

 

D.O.G. recovers, and he says: “That Orange Ruby was NEVER yours to begin with! It has CORRUPTED you with impure thoughts, because you had SELFISH desires! You must REPENT and realize the error of your ways, or suffer a fate WORSE than your FATHER, Master Vile!”

 

Queen Hedrian defiantly says: “I will NEVER repent! I will not SUCCUMB to the SAME weakness that my SISTER and her HUSBAND did!”

 

Lettuce sighs and says: “Than I guess WE have no choice!”

 

Ebony says: “Right! Power weapons, NOW!!!!” /

 

Toby says: “Water Axe!” / Pinkie says: “Diamond Boomerang!” / Usagi says: “Wind Staff!” / Lettuce says: “Earth Mace!” / Naruto says: “Fire Sword!” / Ebony says: “Shadow Daggers!” /

 

The Power Rangers simultaneously say: “Super Power Blaster Cannon…”

 

Keller panics and quickly says: “TURN INTO a SHIELD!!!!” And she turns into a GIANT, SILVER shield right in FRONT of Queen Hedrian!

 

The Rangers say: “FIRE!!!!” And the Super Power Blaster Cannon HITS Keller, and this RESULTS in a GIGANTIC explosion!!!!

 

Queen Hedrian gasps and says: “KELLER?!!!”

 

Keller briefly reverts into her normal form, and she weakly says: “I’m sorry, my Queen. I…FAILED…you--!!!!” And Keller BREAKS up into a MILLION pieces!!!!

 

Queen Hedrian angrily says: “You DESTROYED my LOYAL SERVANT!!!!”

 

D.O.G. defiantly says: “You SHOULD have repented! Keller would STILL be alive, if you HAD!!!!”

 

Queen Hedrian angrily says: “Mark my words! Someday soon, I’ll make you PAY for this attack! I’ll make you PAY for it in SPADES!!!!” And Queen Hedrian disappears, and Vipera chuckles at this occurrence!

 

BlackHawk gasps and he says: “You don’t feel the least bit MOURNFUL, that a lady has just been DESTROYED on this very beach?!”

 

Vipera asks: “Why should I? Keller was just a waste of space and matter. Besides, with HER gone, I can now draw MORE power from the Gods of Chaos themselves!”

 

BlackHawk shakes his head and says: “You really ARE evil! You are a FOOL to think that the Gods of Chaos can ever be TRULY trusted! You are playing with FIRE, Vipera!”

 

Vipera says: “Maybe I just want to WATCH your pretty little world, BURN!!!! My plan might have FAILED; but thankfully, Emperor Diabolica had a plan B, just for this OCCASION!!!!”

 

And with THOSE words, OCTHULU surfaces OUT of the ocean, and says: “Come play with ME, I am OCTHULU, my pretty, little SURFERS!!!!”

 

Sans panics, and with his megaphone, yells: “Everyone out of the water, NOW!!!!”

 

And while MOST of the surfers comply, Smash Swallow doesn’t come out! Smash is floundering about and says: “Help! I’ve got LEG cramps!!!!”

 

BlackHawk groans and he says: “Why doesn’t that BOY ever LISTEN to ME?! Is it the tone of my voice? It’s probably the tone of my voice, isn’t it?”

 

Sans gets his life-guard gear, and says: “Hold on, Smash! I’m coming!”

 

BlackHawk says: “I’ll deal with Vipera! You take care of Octhulu!”

 

Toby says: “Right! This look like a job for the Mega Racer!” /

 

Toby said. "ICE SMASHER!" he shouted, summoning his Power Vehicle. / "VERDE AEROPLANE!" Lettuce followed. / "ELECTRIC SHOCKER!" Pinkie and Usagi said in unison. / Naruto says: “Fire Blazer!” /

 

Ebony groans and says: Oh, MAN!!!! Why can’t I do that?!”

 

BlackHawk is busy engaged in combat with Vipera and says: “There’s one thing you COULD do; help ME! At least THAT way, you can FEEL like you DID something!”

 

D.O.G. says: “Your Power Vehicle is on order, it SHOULD be here by the start of the next season…of your life!” And a comedic drum rim shot is heard!

 

Ebony says: “Very well! Vipera, you’re MINCE-MEAT!!!!” And Ebony JOINS BlackHawk in fighting against Vipera, and her summoned squad of Imps!

 

The Ice Smasher attaches itself to the back of the Fire Blazer, creating the Mega Racer's large body. The Electric Shocker splits into two vehicles, one yellow and one pink, both of which become sidecars with a cannon on each, respectively. Finally, the Verde Aeroplane attached itself to the top of the Mega Racer, adding the last component: a laser beam.

 

Pinkie says: “Mega Racer, ready for ACTION!!!!”

 

Naruto says: “Fire cannons!”

 

And the powerful cannons, shoot at OCTHULU, taking off his extra arms, one by one, until he is left with just the TWO!!!! Octhulu cries: “No fair! You guys play ROUGH!!!!”

 

Usagi says: “Now for the FINAL touch; fire MEGA Laser!!!!”

 

Octhulu CRIES: “Oh NO!!!!” And the Mega Laser BLOWS Octhulu up into pieces, and Sans FINALLY gets Smash Swallow out of the water!

 

Sans groans and says: “Oh, man! It looks like Smash needs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!” And Sans starts breathing into Smash’s mouth, but in the middle of one of San’s breaths, Smash wakes up, and thinks that SANS is kissing him!

 

Smash RECOILS and screams: “EWWW; GROSS!!!! I am NOT that kind of BIRD!!!! That is the LAST time I EVER go to a beach with a MALE life-guard!”

 

And BlackHawk and Ebony finish off against the Imps as well!

 

BlackHawk gasps and says: “Wow! You’ve become a pretty good FIGHTER, Ebony!”

 

Ebony says: “I’m a FAST learner…when I WANT to be!!!!”

 

Vipera groans in anger and says: “We’re not through here, YET; Power TWERPS!!!!”

 

Ebony sighs and says: “I suppose we’re NOT; seeing how STUBBORN, you USUALLY are!”

 

Vipera yells: “Emperor Diabolica, do it NOW!!!!” /

 

Emperor Diabolica says: “Forces of Chaos, revive my monster, and make my monster, GROW!!!!” /

 

Powerful electric bolts flow down, and grow Octhulu into a fifty foot BEAST!!!! Octhulu says: “I’m BIGGER, and STRONGER than ever!”

 

Vipera says: “I’d love to stay and watch the fireworks, but I’m going to be relaxing from the safety and security of my LOVER, Baphomet!!!!”

 

Ebony groans and says: “You REALLY need to get a NEW hobby, lady!”

 

Vipera sarcastically says: “You WISH you had one HALF as good as MINE!!!! We WILL meet on another day, Power TWERPS!!!!”

 

BlackHawk says: “I don’t think that Mega Racer is going to be enough to take down Octhulu, now!”

 

Ebony says: “Right! Guys, we need Dinozord power, NOW!!!!” /

 

And the Rangers abandon the Mega Racer, and hop into their Dino Zords, while Ebony plays her Electric Guitar, and the Velociraptor Zord appears RIGHT from the ocean, near where the Rangers are!

 

Toby asks: “Say, how are you ABLE to make the Velociraptor Zord appear out of the water WHENEVER you want it to?”

 

Ebony says: “I’m a WITCH; DUH!!!!”

 

Lettuce says: “Makes sense to ME!!!!”

 

Octhulu says: “Get a taste of THIS!!!!” And he shoots electricity at the Zords, but the Velociraptor zord SPINS its tail around, and deflects the harmful beams of light and energy!

 

Ebony says: “Time to give you a little TAIL spin!!!!” And utilizing the Velociraptor tail like a DRILL; it TEARS off the parts of Octhulu that make him RESEMBLE a CTHULU monster!

 

Octhulu says: “OUCH!!!! That HURT, you JERK!!!!”

 

Usagi says: “Enough playing around! Time to form the Megazord!”

 

The other Rangers say: “Let’s do it!” /

 

The zords combine together, first in their tank formation. Naruto says: “We’re locked and loaded! Switch into Warrior mode!” /

 

A robotic voice says: “Multi-Megazord sequence has been initiated!” And when the Megazord switches into Warrior mode, the robotic voice says: “Multi-Megazord activated!”

 

Octhulu says: “You think that over-sized tin toy SCARES me?!”

 

Pinkie says: “If I were you, and I’m so glad I’m NOT; I would be scared!

 

Lettuce says: “I call upon the POWER Sword!!!!” And a BIG, gigantic sword appears in the hands of the Megazord!

 

Octhulu says: “You’re not putting ME on a shish-kabob!!!! EYE LASERS!!!!”

 

Pinkie says: “Ankylo SHIELD!!!!” And a powerful circle of pink energy surrounds the Megazord, blocking the powerful attack!

 

Toby says: “This is an old attack, but it’s a good attack; Full Moon CUT!!!!”

 

And with the power of the FULL Moon, the Megazord SLICES Octhulu in TWO, causing both halves to fall down and EXPLODE!!!!

 

Naruto says: “I know what we’re eating for dinner tonight; fried calamari!” /

 

At Queen Hedrian’s base, Mirror produces a bust of her lost sister, Keller; and puts it on the shelf of “Fallen Monsters.” Mirror sheds a tear and says: “You did NOT deserve this, my sister!”

 

Demon King Banriki says: “You are FORTUNATE; dear Queen; that Keller turned into a shield when she did! Otherwise, Mirror would be producing a bust of YOU right now instead!”

 

Queen Hedrian angrily says: “Do you think that I’m not AWARE of the situation we’re in?! Now, unless we KILL BlackHawk, the Orange Ruby will be WORTHLESS to us!”

 

General Shogun asks: “Do you think, the Orange Ruby has completely awoken yet?”

 

Queen Hedrian says: “I am not sure, but in any case, you better be prepared to charge into battle! We cannot AFFORD to take any more chances with these Power Rangers! The next battle the Hedrian Clan takes, will either seal the FATE of the Rangers, or it will seal the fate of YOU!!!!”

 

General Shogun says: “Rest assured, my Queen, I will NOT return back a LOSER!!!!”

 

Mirror angrily says: “For YOUR sake, I just hope you CAN return; PERIOD!!!!” /

 

At Emperor Diabolica’s base, Emperor Diabolica is busy ZAPPING Kraky and Circe with electricity, angry at the latest LOSS that his forces have faced! Kraky painfully asks: “Come on! What did we do wrong THIS time?!”

 

Emperor Diabolica simply says: “You’re EXISTING!!!! That’s ENOUGH of a reason for me! You two give me such a HEADACHE!!!!”

 

Vipera scoffs and says: “I HATE that STUPID BlackHawk! He just HAD to bond with that STUPID Orange Ruby! Now unless we KILL him, we won’t be ABLE to summon the powers of the Orange Ruby, even if we COULD steal it from him!”

 

Emperor Diabolica determined, says: “Which is why we’re no LONGER going to play GAMES with those Rangers! Drako had plenty of chances as it is; and even his LATEST endeavor was no match for those meddlesome Power Rangers!”

 

Drako pleadingly says: “But sire, that is not my fault! The Rangers are simply getting stronger, at a much faster rate than I can create a strong enough monster! By the time I can CREATE a strong monster that COULD fight against the Rangers; they are already STRONGER than that monster!”

 

Emperor Diabolica says: “Which is why I shall take COMMAND of the next monster’s creation! I will NOT allow THAT one to fail, like THIS one did!”

 

Circe says: “That’s good! Does that mean we’re forgiven?”

 

Emperor Diabolica RESUMES zapping Circe and Kraky, and Emperor Diabolica says: “I didn’t say I was FINISHED with you two; DID I?!!!”

 

Baphomet shakes his head and says: “Man, I am SO glad I am not in THEIR position right now!” /

 

Everything at the beach returns to normal. BlackHawk turns to D.O.G., and says: “I’m sorry about…earlier. For not paying attention to what you were trying to tell me about ‘Viola.’ I should have trusted your instincts.”

 

D.O.G. happily says: “That’s okay. Forgiving is one of the things that I am best at in doing!”

 

Karone turns to the Rangers and says: “I’m glad you are all okay!”

 

Usagi asks: “Are you gonna help us out? We could ALWAYS use a force like you, on our team!”

 

Karone sighs and says: “I wish we could, but Zordon SPECIFICALLY said that we could ONLY use our powers for when the time was right. Our time hasn’t come yet.”

 

BlackHawk says: “So you and Kira aren’t the ONLY Legendary Rangers here?”

 

Karone says: “There are five others, and you’ll meet them; when the time is right.”

 

Toby says: “It will be great; to get a chance to fight with some LEGENDARY Rangers!”

 

Karone smiles, and with a KNOWING wink to BlackHawk says: “We’ll see all SEVEN of you, when the time comes for the battle!” And Karone gets in a car, and drives off into the sunset!

 

Lettuce asks: “Is D.O.G. going to become a Power Ranger?”

 

Pinkie says: “I think it should be more obvious than that.”

 

BlackHawk sighs and says: “Well, I won’t worry about it. I know you guys will find out when the time is right for you.”

 

Ebony asks: “Are you all right, BlackHawk?”

 

BlackHawk sighs and says: “I meet this TOTALLY interesting girl; I manage to not TRIP myself UP for once, and it STILL doesn’t work out, because she ends up being EVIL, and totally UNINTERESTED in me!”

 

Ebony sighs and says: “Maybe I could go out to a movie with you, sometime.”

 

BlackHawk perks up and says: “Are you going out on a DATE with me?!”

 

Ebony seriously says: “It’s NOT a good idea to go out on a date with a quarter vampire!”

 

BlackHawk shrugs his shoulders and says: “Eh, I’ve dated WORSE; and I DON’T just mean Vipera!”

 

Ebony sighs, and says: "I guess we can give it a shot. Wouldn't be the STRANGEST thing I have ever done!"

Usagi says: “Well, at least everything turned out okay!”

 

Naruto winces and says: “Speak for yourself!” Naruto points to himself, and he is RED all over, from a SUNBURN!!!! Naruto says: “I’ve got a DOOZY of a sun-burn!”

 

Lettuce smiles and says: “Now THAT’S, what I call a RED Ranger!”

 

And everyone except Naruto laughs! /

 

Episode Notes: Second appearance of the Mega Racer, and second usage of the Full Moon Cut attack. It is revealed that Vipera can now TURN herself into a normal human! Queen Hedrian’s loyal servant, Keller, ends up getting destroyed in this episode. Keller turned herself into a shield in order to protect Queen Hedrian against an attack, but it COST Keller her life as a result! BlackHawk and Ebony begin dating in this episode. Karone becomes the SECOND Legendary Power Ranger to appear, and Karone MENTIONS that there are five OTHER Legendary Power Rangers that will be met, when the time is right. In addition to being able to detect when there is something WRONG with a person’s aura, D.O.G. is ALSO able to detect when somebody evil is utilizing a magical disguise, in an attempt to DECEIVE the Rangers! Or in this case, one of their friends! Featured song in this episode, is “Surfin’ Safari” by The Beach Boys. First time that there has been the MENTIONING, that there will BE a Seventh Power Ranger! It will play a big key role in an episode VERY soon! /

 

Personal Notes: These past few episodes that I have written, have been leading up to a very BIG two-parter; which will be the basis of the NEXT two episodes I met! I personally never thought that Keller had much potential, so it really SURPRISED me to find that I could make her EXIT episode feel SO dynamic! I mean, she’s still evil, but you still can’t help but feel slightly sorry for her, going out the way she did. As for the appearance of the Legendary Rangers; it will play a key role into a future episode of “Power Rangers Multiverse Force” that I have planned. As to what that is, you will have to wait and see! / That’s my episode idea for today! Enough said, true believers! 

 

 

[4EverGreen]

To celebrate my 32nd birthday on August 27th, I shall re-run the two-part episode, “Orange Crush”, as one epic episode from “Power Rangers Multiverse Force!” Enjoy! /

Orange Crush

For a change of pace, the show opens up in BlackHawk’s house. Unlike his Ranger friends, the inside of his room doesn’t HAVE one main color scheme; although he DOES have plenty of posters; most of them are of CLASSIC games for Nintendo systems, as well as posters for The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The B-52-‘s, and Tom Petty! BlackHawk wakes up, and says: “I have a GOOD feeling about today; D.O.G.! I have a feeling that today, great things are going to happen!”

D.O.G., who is sleeping ON BlackHawk’s bed, says: “I do to, BlackHawk. I ever so think that today will be a GREAT day for both of us!”

BlackHawk gets out of bed, and standing RIGHT in front of D.O.G., BlackHawk says: “Why, today might be the day when I FINALLY get to beat Naruto in hand to hand combat!!!!”

And as BlackHawk walks toward his music station, D.O.G. asks: “Just one question; do you ALWAYS have to begin and END every single day in the NUDE?!”

BlackHawk seriously asks: “Do you?”

D.O.G. shrugs and says: “All right, you got me THERE!!!!”

BlackHawk turns on his music station, and a montage of BlackHawk’s morning can be seen, all to the tune of a ROCKING hit song from Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers! / “She laughed in my face, told me goodbye. Said, ‘Don't think about it, you can go crazy. Anything can happen, anything can end. Don't try to fight it, don't try to save me.’ She's a woman in love; she’s a woman in love. And he's gonna break her heart to pieces, she don't wanna see. She's a woman in love, but it's not me. Well alright, do what you want. Don't try to talk, don't say nothing. She used to be the kind of woman; you have and you hold, she could understand the problem. She let the little things go. She's a woman in love; she’s a woman in love. And he's gonna break her heart to pieces, but she don't wanna know. She's a woman in love, she can't let go! (Instrumental solo) Time after time, night after night; she would look up at me, and say she was lonely. I don't understand, the world today. I don't understand, what she needed. I gave her everything, she threw it all away on nothin'. She's a woman in love; she’s a woman in love. And he’s gonna break her heart to pieces, she don’t wanna see. She’s a woman in love, but it’s not me! She’s a woman in love! She’s a woman in love; she’s a woman in love! But it’s not me!” And an instrumental finish completes the epic song! /

BlackHawk is wearing brown clothes, and is standing right outside a closed door. BlackHawk says: “I’m taking D.O.G. out to the gym, mom! I’ll be back later!”

A female voice asks: “Do you ALWAYS have to go out and about?!”

BlackHawk rolls his eyes, and says: “Mom!!!! You KNOW how important it is for me to maintain my Woo Foo training exercises while we’re here on Core Earth. Besides, I can’t let Naruto get stronger than me! My new GIRLFRIEND; Ebony doesn’t LIKE weak guys!”

The female voice says: “All right, as long as you know what you are doing!”

BlackHawk says: “I always do! Love you, mom!”

BlackHawk gets onto a motorized yellow Vespa with a side-car. D.O.G. gets in the side-car, and puts on a helmet, goggles, and his seat-belt! BlackHawk also puts on a brown helmet and green goggles. BlackHawk says: “Good boy, D.O.G., I can ALWAYS count on you to remember those safety lessons!”

BlackHawk and D.O.G. zoom towards the gym, until Sans INEXPLICABLY starts to pass them, on a BICYCLE!!!! BlackHawk shouts: “Sans, WAIT!!!!”

And Sans slows down, and allows BlackHawk to catch up to him! BlackHawk says: “I’ll NEVER be able to understand how YOU are able to PASS motorized vehicles so QUICKLY like that! Where are YOU off to in such a hurry?!”

Sans excitedly says: “To my latest NEW job! I’ve just got a WONDERFUL new opportunity, as an Orange Crush sales-person! Everyone needs to drink, so I’m going to satisfy the throats of all the creatures, currently living on Core Earth!”

BlackHawk genuinely says: “Wow! That’s GREAT news, Sans!”

Sans says: “I must go! Time waits for no Skeleton!”

And Sans quickly RIDES off again! BlackHawk says: “D.O.G., please try to remind me that someday, I NEED to ask Sans, just HOW he does THAT!!!!”

D.O.G. says: “Will do, BlackHawk!” /

Above Core Earth, Emperor Diabolica is in another one of his ‘moods,’ and it is NOT a PRETTY one! Drako pleads: “REALLY, Emperor! I do seriously think you should re-consider!”

Emperor Diabolica seriously says: “NO!!!! I’m SICK and TIRED of LOSING to those POWER CREEPS all the time! It’s time for the HEAVY artillery!!!!”

Baphomet says: “At last! I shall FINALLY DESTROY the Red Ranger for you!”

Emperor Diabolica scoffs and says: “Don’t be RIDICULOUS! You’re my Plan B, at BEST!!!! It’s time to invoke the forces of Chaos, ONCE again!!!!”

Vipera seriously says: “Normally, I’m ALL for watching an EPIC disaster; but I actually think Drako has a POINT about this!”

Kraky asks: “Listen to the LADY!!!! Remember LAST time?!”

Circe says: “Exactly!!!! The last time you TRIED this--.”

Emperor Diabolica interrupts and says: “The LAST time I tried this, it was ON one of those, ‘Power Rangers!’ This time, the forces of Chaos shall be contained in ONE of my Blood Beasts! One completely strong, completely powerful, and completely LOYAL to me!!!!”

Drako whimpers and says: “This is NOT going to be pretty!!!!”

Emperor Diabolica chants in an alien language and a dark lightning storm starts to brew INSIDE of the ship; and the Tauran says: “O, sho, whis ta ma!!!! Bring forth from the agents of Chaos, a monster that will destroy those Rangers, at ANY COST!!!! Lo, co, mis zha ba!!!! Bring forth the STRONGEST beast, of the STRONGEST reputation, who craves NOTHING more than the DEATH of others!!!! Fo, mo, lis ca fa!!!! Now, let me see the FACE, of the Ranger’s imminent ANNIHILATION!!!!”

And chilling enough, the chords USED to introduce Master Vile, are PLAYED for the arrival of a MUSCULAR orange reptile, only one that’s 100 times DEADLIER and SCARIER looking than ANY reptile from Earth!!!! The reptile, looking like a Kremling, says: “BLOOD for the BLOOD GOD!!!! Skulls for the SKULL throne!!!!”

Emperor Diabolica gets an even CREEPIER smile than USUAL, and he says: “Excellent! For my first command, I order you to DESTROY any TRACE of those RANGERS!!!!”

General Crush menacingly says: “KILL!!!! MAIM!!!! BURN!!!! KILL!!!! MAIM!!!! BURN!!!!”

And before ANYBODY on the ship can blink, General Crush PUNCHES out Kraky, SLAMS Circe unconscious to the floor, BLASTS Emperor Diabolica into the BACK of his ship, rendering him temporarily incapacitated, and even renders BAPHOMET helpless, when General Crush KICKS Baphomet in the STOMACH!!!! As Baphomet falls over in pain, pointing at Vipera and Drako; General Crush evilly says: “KILL, MAIM, BURN!!!!”

General Crush disappears to Core Earth, and Vipera angrily says: “This is ALL your FAULT, Drako!!!! Thanks to YOU, if any of us try to FOLLOW General Crush, he will DESTROY us!”

Drako says: “I didn’t even CREATE the Blood Beast THIS time!!!! How is it MY fault?!!!”

Vipera smugly says: “Because it’s NEVER MY FAULT!!!! We NEED something to FORCE General Crush to obey us!!!! Drako, you NEED to tell me how to find the LOST Spinosaurus Zord!”

Drako says: “But the Spinosaurus Zord has been LOST for ten millennia; how can I find what no one else has been able to?”

Vipera seriously says: “Do you WANT Emperor Diabolica to wake UP and REALIZE that ANOTHER plan of his has FAILED?! He could literally MAIM you, but MORE importantly, he could maim ME!!!!”

Drako sweats with dread, and he says: “I see your point. Very well, I may have JUST the thing!”

Drako poofs up a MAGIC Map, and gives it to Vipera. Drako says: “This Magic Map, was given to me by T’zeen…one of the Chaos Gods, himself! This Magic Map can show you how to find anything; ANYTHING your heart desires! I warn you, since this IS a Blood Beast created by Chaos God; there’s a chance that even if you GET the Spinosaurus Zord; there’s a chance that you’ll only have an EVEN fighting chance against General Crush, and that’s at NORMAL size!”

Vipera takes the Magic Map, and says: “An even fighting chance is better than NONE at all! BAPHOMET!!!! Are you QUITE recovered yet?!”

Baphomet gets up and sarcastically says: “Sure! Just let me finish coughing up a LUNG, FIRST!!!!”

Vipera says: “You need to go down to Core Earth AND stop General Crush from destroying the Rangers! And TRY to destroy the Rangers, yourself! If General Crush is not under Emperor Diabolica’s control when he DESTROYS the Rangers; not ONLY will Emperor Diabolica have NO control over Core Earth, you will NEVER be able to ascend into TRUE demon-hood!”

Baphomet gets an eager look, and says: “True demon-hood! I like the sound of that! I shall fight on YOUR behalf! Only for YOU, Vipera!”

And Baphomet teleports down to Core Earth! Vipera says: “And YOU, Drako, must stay behind and make SURE Emperor Diabolica doesn’t wake UP too early!”

Drako seriously says: “I’m afraid I can’t DO that, Vipera! I’m afraid we WILL need the Ranger’s help on this one!”

Vipera says: “But we need to DESTROY the Rangers! Whose side are you on, anyways?!”

Drako seriously says: “Whichever side that keeps us ALL alive! I’m saying; we GET the Rangers to destroy General Crush just in case Baphomet CAN’T; THEN we can destroy the Rangers! It’s called a BACK-UP plan, Vipera!”

Vipera seriously says: “Drako, I think…I WON’T kill you once I rule Neo-Austaliasia! Now if you excuse me, I’ve got a KILLER zord to find!” And Vipera teleports away!

Drako turns to the Imps, and Drako STRONGLY asks them: “Imps, DO your best at keeping Emperor Diabolica calm and asleep while I’m away!”

And as Drako teleports out of there; the Imps just look at each other nervously! /

General Shogun is checking an energy tracker, in Queen Hedrian’s base. General Shogun says: “Vipera is on the MOVE, Queen Hedrian! What do you make of it?”

Queen Hedrian strokes her neck, and she says: “Vipera MUST be after the Spinosaurus Zord!”

Mirror says: “But my Queen; nobody has SEEN the Spinosaurus Zord ever since your own SISTER; Rita Repulsa herself, tried to USE the Spinosaurus Zord against ZORDON 10,000 years ago!”

Queen Hedrian says: “Zordon wouldn’t WILLINGLY destroy a Zord, if he could avoid it! After all, you’re fully aware that ALL Zords, no matter HOW machine-like they are, have SOME form of sentience! No; the Spinosaurus Zord is STILL on Core Earth! And I know EXACTLY how it can be found! My Demon King Banriki, do you still have the Magic Compass?!”

Demon King Banriki resentfully says: “Yes, my love!” And Banriki hands over a steam-punk compass.

Queen Hedrian says: “Excellent! General Shogun, this Magic Compass will point you in the direction of what you most desire! If you DESIRE the Spinosaurus Zord, it will POINT you in the right direction!”

General Shogun takes the steam-punk compass, and he says: “I will not FAIL you, my Queen! Death BEFORE Dishonor!” And General Shogun disappears out of there!

Queen Hedrian turns to Mirror, and the Queen asks: “Mirror, would you like to play a game of ‘Confuse the Ranger’?!”

Mirror eagerly says: “I LOVE ‘Confuse the Ranger’! And I have the PERFECT disguise!!!! You know that Blood Beast that Emperor Diabolica just unleashed? I’m going to turn into HIM!!!! Activate CLONE Reflection; General Crush!!!!”

And Mirror MORPHS into the PERFECT likeness of General Crush! In her own voice, Mirror says: “If the Rangers think that ONE General Crush is bad; wait until they have to deal with TWO!!!!”

Demon King Banriki says: “The only flaw about her Clone Reflection technique, is she can’t COPY the voice of whoever she is pretending to be!”

Queen Hedrian says: “Just as LONG as she can copy his techniques; that is all I care about! Destroy the Power Rangers AND BlackHawk if you can; and RETRIEVE the Orange Ruby once you do! Just don’t get yourself KILLED in the process! I can’t AFFORD a replacement for you, after all!”

Mirror chuckles and says: “No worries. I won’t slip up the way my SISTER did!”

And Mirror disappears! Demon King Banriki says: “Mirror BETTER get that Orange Ruby; TODAY!!!! The Orange Ruby is almost COMPLETELY awake!”

Queen Hedrian scoffs and says: “Don’t worry about it. Mirror HAS to kill BlackHawk first in order to get it, in either case! After all, if WE can’t have the Orange Ruby, then NOBODY can!!!!” /

At the gym, BlackHawk is just TEARING through his workout routine; even going SO far as to STACK multiple weights on TOP of each other, and he STILL hardly breaks a sweat! BlackHawk sighs, and he says: “This gym just doesn’t challenge me the way it used to.”

D.O.G. says: “I’m very sorry to hear you say that.”

BlackHawk groans, and he says: “At this rate; Naruto’s going to surpass me for SURE!! And there is NOTHING I can do about it!!!!”

Naruto comes in, and asks: “And why is THAT such a bad thing?”

BlackHawk groans, and he says: “You WOULDN’T understand! You don’t HAVE an Alpha Mom the way that I do!!!!”

Naruto asks: “An Alpha Mom?”

BlackHawk says: “My mom was…and probably still IS; very hyper-competitive!!!! She LOVES it when she wins! Physical events, mental challenges, games, sports, you NAME it! So she wants ME to carry on in the tradition of keeping our family name at the top! Her love is DRIVING me, Naruto!”

Naruto asks: “But is THAT what you want?”

BlackHawk says: “For as long as I HAVE to live with my family; then YES; that IS what I want!”

Naruto scoffs and says: “Excuse ME; for asking!” (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!)

D.O.G. looks up, and he horrifyingly says: “Oh, NO!!!!”

Naruto says: “What do you MEAN; ‘Oh, NO’?!”

BlackHawk seriously says: “If D.O.G. is saying it, then it CAN’T mean anything GOOD!!!!”

The three of them rush outside, and they see a RAPIDLY deteriorating scene, as a LIGHTNING storm has rolled over Coastal Falls, and a TWISTER is ripping through half-built buildings over an un-built section of Coastal Falls! The other Rangers and Undyne, suddenly rush up!

Undyne nervously asks: “Naruto, what is going on?!”

Even PINKIE is nervous, and she says: “This is NOT NORMAL!!!!”

Ebony darkly says: “You KNOW something is going to be TROUBLE whenever Pinkie is nervous, because she is NEVER nervous!!!!”

Omnus comes over the communicators and says: “Rangers! We have an urgent matter that you MUST attend to!”

Lettuce says: “We know! Something is CAUSING the environment in Coastal Falls to go all hay-wire!” /

Omnus says: “That is not all. I’m afraid that both Vipera and General Shogun are after the lost Spinosaurus Zord!” /

Toby asks: “You mean the lost Spinosaurus Zord that Rita Repulsa USED against Zordon in that epic battle 10,000 years ago?!” /

Omnus says: “The one and the same. However, there’s also the matter in Coastal Falls. Even Alpha can’t pinpoint exactly what is causing it.” /

Drako appears and says: “But I can!”

BlackHawk gasps and says: “You again?! What are YOU doing here?!”

Drako chuckles and says: “That would be TELLING, wouldn’t it?!”

Naruto GRABS Drako by the neck, and Naruto threatening, says: “You better tell us what the CAUSE of this is; or I’ll RIP your FREAKING SPINE out!!!!”

Choking, Drako says: “Let me down; and I’ll tell you!!!!”

Naruto puts Drako down, and Drako calmly says: “Emperor Diabolica has UNLEASHED an agent of Chaos into this world!”

Over the communicators, Alpha Eight says: “Oh, no!!!! Not an agent of CHAOS!!!! That’s the WORST kind of MONSTER you could POSSIBLY face!!!!”

Drako says: “His name is General Crush! He works for the BLOOD God himself; who desires WAR above ALL other things!”

BlackHawk angrily yells: “How could you BRING such a creature to this place?!”

Drako says: “For the record; I was firmly AGAINST it! I didn’t want Emperor Diabolica to DO this! But he was sick and tired of LOSING to you all the time and…well, let’s just say that when Emperor Diabolica has his MIND set on something, you REALLY can’t talk him out of it.”

Usagi asks: “What are we going to do?”

Drako says: “You will need the Spinosaurus Zord ITSELF, if you want an even CHANCE of fighting the monster. Vipera has already gone after it, but there’s a chance she may NOT be able to control it!” /

Omnus says: “I’m afraid Drako is right. There IS a reason why Zordon had it hidden away 10,000 years ago; only ONE certain Power source is able to tame the wild Zord! It doesn’t exactly get along WELL with others, without the RIGHT sort of friendship!” /

Pinkie asks: “What should we do?”

Naruto shakes his head, and he says: “We have no choice, we have to divide our attack strategies. I’ll take Toby and Usagi to go after Vipera and General Shogun. The rest of you stay here with BlackHawk, Undyne and Drako, and buy us the time we need. Whatever you do; don’t TRY to take on General Crush yourself! Wait until we’re ALL here, so we can form the Multi-Megazord!” /

Alpha Eight says: “I have input the Zord’s LAST known location into your Power Watches. You SHOULDN’T have any problem FINDING the Spinosaurus Zord! Controlling it? That’s a WHOLE other matter to worry about!” /

Usagi says: “We’ll worry about that ONCE we find it! For now, it’s MORPHING time!!!!” /

Ebony says: “Velociraptor!” / Toby says: “Stegosaurus!” / Pinkie says: “Ankylosaurus!” / Lettuce says: “Triceratops!” / Usagi says: “Hadrosaurus!” / Naruto says: “Tyrannosaurus!” /

Naruto, Usagi, and Toby teleport, and they FIND themselves in the Rocky Mountain range. Toby asks: “What are we doing all the way here?”

Usagi looks and says: “I think we just FOUND the location of the Spinosaurus Zord!”

And all three of them look, and they see the IMPOSING Devil’s Tower! Naruto says: “That’s got to be the resting place of the Spinosaurus Zord!”

Toby says: “Now all we got to do, is try to control it!”

Vipera JUMPS in front of them and says: “Not so FAST, heroes!!!!”

Naruto groans and says: “You again?! I’m getting really TIRED of this!!!!”

Vipera produces her motorcycle and she says: “I am to. So let’s make a little wager; the rules are, there ARE no rules! It will be four laps around Devil’s Tower, and the WINNER gets the Spinosaurus Zord!”

Usagi says: “General Shogun is trying to get the Spinosaurus Zord for himself! Would you REALLY rather let HIM have it?!”

Vipera chuckles and she says: “General Shogun will not be ABLE to control the Spinosaurus Zord, even IF he reaches it first! He doesn’t HAVE the type of power NEEDED to control it! I, on the other hand, DO!!”

Toby says: “Looks like we need the Power Vehicles for this!” /

Naruto says: “Fire Blazer!” / Usagi says: “Electric Shocker!” / Toby says: “Ice Smasher!” /

Vipera chuckles and says: “Keep up with me, if you CAN!!!!”

Vipera starts to race, and Naruto says: “That will be NO problem!!!!”

Than a bunch of IMPS appear on Motorcycles, and start to ATTACK at the Rangers! Toby groans and says: “UGH!!!! I KNEW Vipera would pull an under-handed TRICK like this!”

Usagi pulls out her Wind Staff, and starts BASHING at the Imps. Usagi says: “We’ll just have to multi-task! The others are COUNTING on us to get that zord!” /

But what none of them REALIZE, is that General Shogun is already on TOP of Devil’s Tower! General Shogun smiles creepily says: “Soon, you will be ALL mine!!!!”

General Shogun points his SHARP sword up to the sky, and shouts: “Forces of black magic, hear my CALL!!!! Take the Zord, that has been lost and sealed, inside this hollow mountain, and breathe new LIFE into him, so he can become MY loyal SERVANT!!!!”

And a bolt of LIGHTNING from the heavens, comes DOWN into General Shogun’s sword, and he THRUSTS the sword into the mountain, and Devil’s Tower LITERALLY explodes apart! /

Just as the Rangers beat off the Imps and over-take Vipera, they NOTICE the explosion that has just happened! Naruto, worrying, says: “Ooh; that cannot be GOOD!!!!”

General Shogun appears a top a GIGANTIC, Orange dinosaur machine, and he says: “Foolish MORTALS!!!! The Spinosaurus Zord is MINE!!!! And also, the fate of your ‘PRECIOUS’ little PLANET!!!! Spinosaurus ZORD; DESTROY the RANGERS!!!!”

But the Spinosaurus Zord glows RED eyes, and roars MENACINGLY!!!! General Shogun seriously says: “Did you not HEAR your NEW master?!!! DESTROY the Rangers!!!!”

But the Spinosaurus Zord VIOLENTLY throws General Shogun FAR off into the distance, and starts walking around VIOLENTLY, tearing up ANYTHING in its path!!!! Vipera chuckles and says: “I told you so. It takes a REAL warrior to handle the Spinosaurus ZORD!!!! WATCH!!!!”

And Vipera ZAPS an Electric RESTRAINT around the Spinosaurus Zord, and the Spinosaurus Zord YELLS in pain!!!! Vipera menacingly says: “You will listen to me, and do what I SAY; if you EVER, want to see the LIGHT of another DAY!!!!”

Although the Spinosaurus zord clearly HATES her, he decides to comply with her commands! Vipera smirks and she says: “Later, losers!”

Toby groans and he says: “You NEED a new catch-phrase, lady!”

And Vipera jumps into the cock-pit of the Spinosaurus Zord! Vipera says: “Now, my beauty, we are going to Coastal Falls to kill, AND destroy!!!!”

And with a ROAR of energy, the Spinosaurus Zord disappears in a blur of unsurpassed ENERGY!!!! Usagi activates her communicator, and says: “Omnus, Vipera has the Spinosaurus Zord!” /

Omnus says: “Vipera won’t be able to control it forever; not without the proper power source. You must get back to Coastal Falls. Drako is running out of Monsters to fight General Crush!” /

Naruto asks: “Monsters?” /

Alpha Eight says: “It’s a long story, we’ll explain later!” /

Toby says: “Right! We’re on our way!” And the three Rangers teleport BACK to Coastal Falls! /

Meanwhile, Drako has created a circle, with a SINISTER looking star in it, and candles surrounding the circle! Lettuce asks: “Are you SURE this is a good idea?!”

Drako seriously asks: “Do you WANT a chance of BEATING General Crush, or NOT?!”

Ebony says: “I agree. For now, the enemy of OUR enemy is our friend!”

Drako says: “By the dark powers invested into me, by T’zeen; (looks at BlackHawk, and he trails off); he, who shall remain un-named; I implore you, breathe new LIFE into my old monsters, so I can satisfy your hungry appetite and desires! In your name, I want the POWER!!!!”

And a lightning bolt STRIKES the circle, and some FAMILIAR monsters come out of there glowing light!

The monsters are General Skeleton; Emperor Sphinx; Greedy Goat; Road Hog; Karaoke Knight; Sciance; Vincent Van Gopher; Squid Clown; Beat Him; and Octhulu!

Drako boomingly shouts: “SILENCE!!!!” And the confused monsters suddenly silence, WORRIED by Drako’s sudden change of mood! Drako seriously says: “I know you monsters are eager to fight the Rangers again; but I’m afraid you have a much more DIRE threat in front of you! Your rival; the Blood God, has sent an agent of chaos into this place! If he succeeds, your lives and your goals will all be RUINED!!!! You must NOT allow this to happen! Therefore, you must NOW attack General Crush, and STOP him from serving the Blood God, by any means NECESSARY!!!! Do you understand?!”

The Monsters, unnerved, but still loyal, shout: “Sir, yes sir!”

Drako says: “Then my loyal monsters; ATTACK!!!!”

And as the Monsters lead a charge against General Crush, they are HOPELESSLY out-matched by the agent of Chaos, but a hit song by Bobby “Boris” Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers appropriately lightens the mood! / “I was working in the lab, late one night; when my eyes beheld an eerie sight. For my monster from his slab, began to rise, and suddenly to my surprise; he did the mash! He did the monster mash! The monster mash, it was a graveyard smash. He did the mash, it caught on in a flash! He did the mash, he did the monster mash! From my laboratory in the castle east, to the master bedroom where the vampires feast. The ghouls all came from their humble abodes, to get a jolt from my electrodes. They did the mash! They did the monster mash. The monster mash, it was a graveyard smash. They did the mash, it caught on in a flash. They did the mash, they did the monster mash! The zombies were having fun. The party had just begun. The guests included Wolfman, Dracula, and his son. The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds. Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds. The coffin-bangers were about to arrive, with their vocal group, 'The Crypt-Kicker Five'. They played the mash; they played the monster mash! The monster mash, it was a graveyard smash. They played the mash, it caught on in a flash. They played the mash, they played the monster mash! Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring. Seems he was troubled by just one thing. Opened the lid, and shook his fist, and said, ‘Whatever happened to my Transylvania Twist?’ It's now the mash, it's now the monster mash! The monster mash, it was graveyard smash. It's now the mash, it caught on in a flash. It's now the mash, it's now the monster mash! Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band. And my Monster Mash is the hit of the land. For you, the living, this mash was meant too. When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you. Then you can mash, then you can monster mash! The monster mash, and do my graveyard smash. Then you can mash, you'll catch on in a flash. Then you can mash, then you can monster mash!” /

The epic song ends as General Crush COMPLETELY disintegrates General Skeleton; Greedy Goat; Road Hog; Karaoke Knight; Sciance; Squid Clown; Beat Him; and Octhulu! Vincent Van Gopher dramatically says: “Oh, DEAR!!!! This battle isn’t going well for us, at all!”

Emperor Sphinx says: “I do not CARE!!!! I will NOT allow myself to be BEATEN again!!!!”

Pinkie nervously asks: “Where ARE those guys?! Wherever you are, hurry up and get your BUTTS down here already!!!!”

Naruto, Toby, and Usagi suddenly appear, and Ebony asks: “There you are!”

BlackHawk asks: “But where’s the Spinosaurus Zord?!”

Than Vipera, RIDING the Spinosaurus Zord; appears into view!

Naruto rhetorically asks: “Does THAT answer your question?!”

D.O.G. looks at the Spinosaurus Zord, shakes his head, and he says: “I do not like this. Vipera is causing the Spinosaurus PAIN!!!! She’s KILLING the zord by FORCING her control on it!”

Ebony seriously asks: “The ZORD?!!! Who cares about the ZORD right now?! As of RIGHT now; with Vipera riding it, that THING is a KILLING machine!!!!” /

Vipera chuckles and she says: “Nobody stands a CHANCE against me, NOW!!!! I’ll destroy General Crush; the Power Rangers, BlackHawk, TAKE the Orange Ruby for myself; and when I do, Baphomet and I will RULE Neo-Austaliasia!!!!”

Baphomet appears, and he says: “Did somebody mention my name?!”

Vipera says: “It’s about TIME you showed up!”

Baphomet says: “I just was doing some last-minute training! Now I’ll kick his BUTT for SURE!!!!”

General Crush maniacally says: “Kill, burn, maim!!!! KILL, BURN, MAIM!!!!! Blood for the Blood God!!!! Skulls for the SKULL Throne!!!!”

General Shogun suddenly appears, and he asks: “Does this guy say ANYTHING else?!”

Vipera sarcastically says: “Talk to Drako, HE’S the expert!”

Drako seriously says: “General Crush is NOT my MONSTER!!!! That’s not even his real NAME!!!! That’s just a translation of his name, because his REAL name is too DIFFICULT for the human tongue to pronounce! If you’re going to INSULT me; the LEAST you can do is be ACCURATE in your INSULTS!!!!”

Baphomet says: “Irrelevant!!!! General Crush, you are MINE!!!!”

Baphomet CHARGES at General Crush madly, swinging his SWORD onto General Crush SEVERAL times, but the sword keeps BOUNCING off of General Crush HARMLESSLY, as if the sword is nothing more than a SQUEAKY toy to General Crush! Baphomet seriously says: “You DARE to mock the GREAT--!!”

But Baphomet NEVER gets to finish HIS thought, because General Crush GRABS Baphomet by the neck with ONE hand, and LITERALLY starts to drain the life out of him!!!! In an ungodly voice, General Crush says: “You LITTLE FOOL!!!! You call yourself a great WARRIOR?! You are NOTHING of the SORT!!!! How DARE you speak of Khorne as if HE would ever shower YOU with any prizes and treasures!!!! You are not even FIT to speak of Khorne in his great NAME!!!!”

General Shogun seriously says: “If ANYBODY is going to destroy ANYTHING, it’s going to be ME!!!!”

General Shogun CHARGES at General Crush, but General Crush simply uses his FREE hand to knock General Shogun far AWAY again!!!! Vipera threateningly says: “Let him go!!!!”

General Crush deranged, says: “Kill, burn, maim!!!! KILL, BURN, MAIM!!!! Blood for the Blood God!!!! Skulls for the Skull Throne!!!!”

Vipera angrily says: “I’ll make you SHUT up!!!! Fire full ARSENAL!!!!”

Baphomet nervously says: “Are you MAD?!!! You’ll kill me, TOO!!!!”

But Vipera pays no heed, and fires a BUTT-LOAD of torpedoes, missiles, lasers, and FLAMETHROWERS at General Crush!!!! Vipera chuckles and she says: “That will KILL him!!!!”

But when the smoke clears, General Crush AND Baphomet are perfectly UN-SCATHED!!!! Vipera nervously says: “He didn’t even FLINCH!!!! This is WORSE than I thought!!!!”

General Crush turns to the Spinosaurus, and simply says: “KILL!!!!”

And General Crush fires a ray of INCREDIBLY devastating power!!!! It REMOVES the Electric Restraint AROUND the Spinosaurus, and causes him IMMENSE pain, as well! In fact, it’s SO intense, Vipera is FORCED out of the Spinosaurus Zord! Vipera falls down to the ground, and says: “Oh, man! That was the BEST vehicle I’ve ever RIDDEN in!!!!”

Emperor Sphinx says: “Vincent, CHARGE!!!!”

And the two remaining monsters run towards General Crush, but General Crush simply FIRES his power ray again, and DISINTEGRATES them before they can get even CLOSE!!!!

Drako is NOW scared, and he says: “Those were my LAST monsters! Rangers, you MUST stop HIM!!!!”

Ebony excitedly says: “Just what I’ve been looking forward to! It’s BUTT-KICKING time!!!!”

What follows IS a butt-kicking sequence, but NOT for the Rangers, but AGAINST them!!!! As General Crush simply THROWS Baphomet away, and charges after the Rangers, pounding ON them, STOMPING them, CLAWING at them, and even trying to CRUSH them!!!! Despite the Rangers using their Power Weapons AGAINST him, they don’t even leave a SCRATCH on General Crush! While this horrible beat-down is happening, a familiar song by R.E.M. plays. /

“When your day is long; and the night, the night is yours alone. When you're sure you've had enough, of this life, well hang on. Don't let yourself go, ‘cause everybody cries. And everybody hurts, sometimes. Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along. When your day is night alone (Hold on, hold on). If you feel like letting go (Hold on). If you think you've had too much, of this life, well hang on. Everybody hurts; take comfort in your friends. Everybody hurts! Don't throw your hand, oh no! Don't throw your hand! If you feel like you're alone; no, no, no, you are not alone! If you're on your own, in this life. The days and nights are long. When you think you've had too much of this life, to hang on. Well, everybody hurts; sometimes everybody cries! And everybody hurts, sometimes! Everybody hurts; sometimes! So hold on, hold on! Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on; hold on! Everybody hurts!” / And the song ends as General Crush knocks down ALL the Rangers to the ground, in a clearly one-sided CURB-STOMP battle!!!!

Drako shouts: “Oh, no! I thought for SURE they could do it!”

D.O.G. says: “It’s all up to the Orange Ruby, now.”

BlackHawk asks: “But what can the Orange Ruby, do?”

Undyne says: “I don’t know, but I am NOT letting this CREEP win!!!! I’ll GET him!!!!”

Undyne starts to charge, and BlackHawk says: “WAIT, Undyne!!!! It’s too dangerous!!!!”

Undyne SWINGS wildly, and her SWORD actually CUTS into General Crush’s skin!!!! Undyne says: “Nobody messes with UNDYNE!!!!”

But General Crush grabs HOLD of the sword, FORCES it out of his body, and his skin heals up as if NOTHING happened!!!! Undyne gasps and asks: “What kind of beast ARE you?!”

General Crush simply says: “Blood for the blood God! Skulls for the SKULL throne!!!!”

BlackHawk asks: “Isn’t there anything else you can THROW at this monster?!”

Drako says: “By this point, I’ve thrown EVERYTHING but the kitchen SINK at it!!!!”

And General Crush pulls out TWO swords, and starts SWINGING at Undyne!!!! Even with just ONE sword, Undyne is able to HOLD General Crush, and is even able to SWIPE a couple of times into his body; but General Crush just keeps re-healing himself, and keeps PUSHING Undyne back like there is NO tomorrow for her!

Drako says: “This is NO monster; this is a NIGHTMARE!!!! I never thought the Blood God could PRODUCE something like this! I NEVER should have allowed Emperor Diabolica to RELEASE this monster!!!!”

ANOTHER General Crush appears, and it laughs, but TALKS with the voice of Mirror!!!! The fake General Crush says: “Ha, ha, ha! Don’t be FOOLED, by that OVER-BLOWN imposter!!!! I’m the strongest warrior in the entire UNIVERSE!!!!”

Drako warningly says: “You are playing with FIRE, Mirror! General Crush does NOT like being mocked!”

Naruto weakly says: “Oh, SURE!!!! NOW you tell us!!!!”

Mirror laughs and off and says: “You think a mere BLOOD BEAST scares me?! Come on, BRING it! Bring it! BRING IT!!!!”

And General Crush temporarily STOPS pursuing Undyne, and without WARNING; suddenly APPEARS in FRONT of Mirror!!!! BlackHawk gasps and says: “He’s FAST!!!! Even I could BARELY keep track of him!!!!”

Drako asks: “You SAW him MOVE?!!!”

General Crush menacingly says: “Kill, burn, maim!!!! KILL, BURN, MAIM!!!!” /

Queen Hedrian screams: “EMERGENCY TELEPORT!!!!” /

And at the last second, Mirror is teleported OUT of there, and BACK into Queen Hedrian’s blast, as General Crush FIRES a beam of energy which would have SURELY killed Mirror if she had STILL been there! /

Back in Queen Hedrian’s base; Mirror reverts BACK to her normal self, and asks: “What did you do THAT for?! I had him RIGHT where I WANTED him!!!!”

Queen Hedrian angrily says: “That was the most INSANE plan you have ever COME up with! If I had been ANY slower; your life would’ve ENDED!!!!”

Demon King Banriki says: “You wouldn’t have fared any better against that monstrosity than everyone ELSE has! That DEMON had a power level of over 5,000! At this point, the THREE of us will just have to wait until this battle is all finished!”

Mirror gasps, and she asks: “But what about General Shogun?!”

Demon King Banriki scoffs, and he says: “His life is basically forfeit by this point. Even if he MANAGES to survive General Crush; I doubt he will survive the Rangers. His death will merely increase OUR powers ten-fold! We won’t even NEED the Orange Ruby to be at full power to conquer Core Earth!”

Mirror gasps, and she asks: “You’re WILLING to sacrifice General Shogun like this?!”

Queen Hedrian says: “I do not LIKE the plan, but it IS for a GREATER cause! Just be THANKFUL we’re deciding to sacrifice HIM, and did NOT decide to sacrifice YOU!!!!”

Mirror nervously says: “Believe me, I am VERY thankful indeed!!!!” /

Back on the battle-field; General Crush chuckles and chants: “Burn, Maim, Kill!!!! BURN, MAIM, KILL!!!! Blood for the Blood God!!!! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!!!”

Undyne screams: “SHUT UP!!!!” And Undyne STABS her sword RIGHT through General Crush’s back, and the TIP shows through his CHEST!!!!

Undyne chuckles and says: “No one kills Undyne, the UNDYING!!!!”

But General Crush REACHES for the tip of the sword, pulls the REST of his sword THROUGH the cut; and his GASH closes up, and General Crush laughs UNNERVINGLY!!!!

Weakened, Usagi asks: “Ebony; I’m not as genre-savvy as you are; but a villain that LAUGHS like THAT?!!! That’s a BAD thing; RIGHT?!!!”

Weakened, Ebony says: “Unless a miracle happens, we are thoroughly SCREWED!!!!”

Completely unable to do anything else; Undyne simply starts walking backwards and asks: “What are you, anyways?!!!”

And chillingly, a DIFFERENT voice comes out of General Crush! An UNGODLY voice, which says: “I am the essence of Khorne, the Blood God himself!!!! Thanks to the FOOLISHNESS of Emperor Diabolica, I have been brought here, where I can spread the reign of Khorne within this REALM!!!! You think that things are bad now? This is only the beginning!!!! Core Earth is just the first of MANY!!!! After I kill you; this world will be conquered! And then the next world; and the NEXT; until ALL worlds know the PAIN and suffering that IS Khorne; and all shall DESPAIR as eternal war and TORMENT is brought into this entire UNIVERSE!!!!”

BlackHawk dramatically screams: “NO!!!!”

And BlackHawk performs a POWERFUL kick, and actually PROPELS General Crush off of his feat, BACKWARDS!!!! BlackHawk breathes heavily and as his Orange Ruby starts glowing BRIGHTLY, he says: NEVER!!!! I will NEVER allow you to carry out your insane task! I am a Woo Foo Warrior, trained by Master Yo himself! I have been trained to protect all lives, especially the lives of those you TORMENT; and I will NOT allow you to harm another LIFE!!!!”

And in an explosive BURST of Orange Energy, something amazing HAPPENS!!!!

D.O.G. excitedly says: “The prophecy of the Orange Ruby!!!! It’s FINALLY being FULFILLED!!!!”

Orange Armor starts to FORM around BlackHawk; enveloping him with a sense of strength and security he has never FELT before!!!! The energy flows through-out him, as he gets gloves, boots, and a Golden SHIELD around his upper body; and finally a helmet with a large, V-shaped Visor to let BlackHawk SEE out of!!!!

Lettuce gets up and asks: “Am I seeing what I THINK I’m seeing?!!!”

The camera pans around BlackHawk, and it is CLEAR that BlackHawk has become, an ORANGE Power Ranger!!!!

Toby gets up, and he asks: “When did HE get Ranger Powers?!!!”

Pinkie gets up, and she says: “I don’t know, but he SURE picked a good time to bust them OUT!!!!”

BlackHawk, in his transformed state, without even knowing why, says: “A little PUNISHMENT; before I take you BACK!!!! Spinosaurus; REVIVE!!!!”

And with a blast of Orange Energy, he is able to REVIVE the Spinosaurus, and it even gains, BLUE glowing eyes, to show that it is NOW firmly on the side of good!

Usagi gets up, and she says: “I’m still no expert; but now that the Spinosaurus Zord is glowing blue eyes; that’s a GOOD thing; right?!”

Ebony gets up, smirks, and says: “It is a VERY good thing!!!!”

Naruto gets up and asks: “Wait a minute!!!! Why does HE get the new ZORD?!!!”

D.O.G. excitedly says: “It’s the prophecy of the Orange Ruby! It has finally been fulfilled! When one of pure heart and good intentions masters the Orange Ruby and bonds with it, the Orange Ruby will awaken to its FULL potential, and lead to the awakening of the legendary Orange Power Ranger!!!!”

Undyne asks: “The Orange Power Ranger?! That can’t POSSIBLY be a thing!”

Toby says: “It’s rare, yes. But not unheard of. The ‘Power Rangers Battle Fever’ force had a full-time Orange Ranger; and even the ‘Power Rangers S.P.D.’ force considers the KAT Ranger to have been THEIR Orange Ranger!”

Naruto says: “No FAIR!!!! I was STARTING to fight simulation BlackHawk to a DRAW in the Simulation Planet!!!! Now I’ll have to train even harder!!!!”

BlackHawk says: “Spinosaurus, share your ENERGY with me!!!!”

And the Spinosaurus Zord POURS Orange Energy into BlackHawk; and BlackHawk, with a surge of energy, RELENTLESSLY pounds into General Crush!!!! BlackHawk DOESN’T slow down, he doesn’t hesitate; he keeps throwing punches and kicks, RIGHT and LEFT; each one of them CAUSING General Crush IMMENSE pain!!!! FINALLY, BlackHawk produces an orange beam of ENERGY around General Crush, and BlackHawk says: “You are going BACK where you BELONG!!!! Back with you, to the Chaos Realm, and NEVER COME BACK!!!!”

And in a FLASH of energy, General Crush simply fades out of existence!!!! And the sky and the environment start to return to normal. The other Rangers come up to him, and Pinkie asks: “How did you DO that fantastic thing?!”

Toby asks: “Yeah! None of us could even scratch him, let alone KILL him!”

BlackHawk says: “Truth is, even I couldn’t kill him, even if I wanted to. He WAS a demon, after all. And a member of the agents of Chaos!”

Drako realizes this and says: “Of COURSE!!!! That’s why OUR physical attacks didn’t have much of an effect on him!”

BlackHawk says: “Undyne was able to fight him because SHE’S from the underground, and I was able to fight him due to…some of the more UNMENTIONABLE things the Night Master DID to me while I was in his care!”

Usagi asks: “But why send him back to the Chaos Realm?”

BlackHawk says: “My only other option would have been to seal his energy inside of a weapon. Unfortunately, any weapon that CONTAINS a demon, will inevitably become CORRUPTED by the demon, and anyone who WIELDS that weapon would become little more than a HOST for the demon! And I was NOT about to do that! As far as I’m concerned, it’s better to have General Crush THERE, in the Chaos Realm; then HERE, on Core Earth!!!!”

Naruto bitterly says: “The last Ranger is ALWAYS the STRONGEST Ranger in ANY Ranger team!”

Ebony says: “I’ll certainly agree to that!!!!”

But unknown to them, General Shogun has come back, and has PRODUCED some sort of device over ONE of his eyes! And he IS visibly SHOCKED by what he is SEEING!!!!

Over the device, Demon King Banriki asks: “General Shogun; what is this NEW Power level READING?!!!”

General Shogun gasps, dramatically BREAKS the scanner and screams: “It’s over 9,000!!!!” /

Queen Hedrian SCREAMS: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s the Power of the Orange RUBY!!!! It increases ANYONE’S natural strength at LEAST two-fold!!!! BlackHawk has AWOKEN the true potential of the Orange Ruby!!!! We can’t ALLOW this!!!! It was bad enough when we had to fight FIVE Rangers, let alone; six!!!! We will NOT allow there to be a SEVENTH Ranger!!!! Mirror, unleash the GAUNTLET!!!!”

Mirror protests, and says: “But if we do it NOW, we’ll EXHAUST most of the monsters we HAVE!!!!”

Queen Hedrian screams: “Do it, NOW!!!!!!!!!”

Mirror can SEE that Queen Hedrian is NOT joking; so Mirror pushes a BUNCH of buttons over the monster EGG hatchery, and the base itself starts SHAKING!!!! /

In Coastal Falls, the Rangers start to feel the shaking as WELL!!!! Usagi says: “I didn’t know we were supposed to be expecting an earthquake today!”

D.O.G. seriously says: “This IS no normal earthquake!!!! This can only mean one thing; Queen Hedrian KNOWS that BlackHawk has become the TRUE owner and MASTER of the Orange Ruby!!!! She’s unleashing the GAUNTLET!!!!”

Lettuce asks: “What is the Gauntlet?”

Toby nervously says: “Do you remember how the ‘Power Rangers Digital Squadron’ had to fight a bunch of monsters when THEY were fighting Queen Hedrian? Well, we’re about to fight a BUNCH of them; all at the same time; at ONCE!!!!”

Ebony seriously asks: “We’re NOT going to be able to solve THIS problem in 22 minutes; are we?!”

Pinkie shakes her head and says: “Nope! This is a TWO-parter…segment of our LIVES, that IS!!!!”

And as the sky starts to darken and thunder again, the Rangers know that their tough battle today, has ONLY just begun!!!! /

The sky has darkened, and the ground is shaking, indicating that a SURGE of evil is about to be unleashed on the planet! Drako whimpers and says: “Oh, dear! I’ve heard STORIES about Queen Hedrian’s brand of evil, but I never thought she’d grow THIS desperate!”

BlackHawk seriously says: “If you value your life, I suggest you get out of here and leave the rest to us! There’s no telling WHAT type of monsters we are going to be facing!”

Drako dejectedly says: “All right.” And he vanishes!

D.O.G. says: “Hold your ground! Just because these monsters AREN’T Blood Beasts, doesn’t make them any less dangerous! They will do ANYTHING to please their queen!”

Toby says: “He has a point there. Undyne, you better clear the area of any innocent civilians, and we’ll take care of everything else, here!”

Undyne says: “Will do, my friends!” And Undyne leaves! /

Queen Hedrian maniacally says: “Rise, my monster gauntlet! Rise, and lay WASTE to the Rangers, and their PATHETIC little PLANET!!!!”

And the monster EGG hatchery produces a BUNCH of sinister monsters; which are quickly catalogued and named by Mirror, JUST for Queen Hedrian’s convenience! Mirror says: “The Rangers are going to have quite a time fighting THIS assortment of monsters! We’ve got Slippery Soap; Panic Oil; Poison Flower; Demon Girl; Death Phone; Love Witch; Life Plague; Crocodile Slugger; Star Prince; Riot Gorilla; Grim Reaper; Spider Walker; Maze Tiger; Red Beetle; Cursed Butcher; Psychic Raider; Secret Magician; Bloodsucker; Puzzle Princess; and Sister Spectrum! Fighting alongside General Shogun; there’s no CHANCE that the Rangers will be able to take them ALL on!”

Demon King Banriki says: “Let’s hope so! We really can’t AFFORD to have this plan NOT work!”

Queen Hedrian seriously says: “Hedrian Clan monsters, you have been awakened for one purpose and one purpose ONLY; you must destroy the Power Rangers, at ANY cost! I don’t care HOW; I just want them OBLITERATED, by ANY means NECESSARY!!!!”

The monsters simultaneously say: “Yes, your majesty!” And they all disappear to Coastal Falls!

Queen Hedrian chuckles, and she says: “Sorry to disappoint you, Rita! But I’m about to succeed where you NEVER could! I’m going to destroy the Rangers ALL by myself, and take my RIGHTFUL place as RULER of this WORLD!!!!”

Mirror looks nervously at a less than convinced Demon King Banriki, and Mirror says: “Let’s sure hope so; for ALL of our sakes!” /

On the battle field; the Rangers are STUNNED to see lightning bolts land on the ground, and they see 20 monsters; CLEARLY Queen Hedrian’s handiwork, appear from where the lightning bolts land! General Shogun quickly rushes in behind them, and he laughs DERISIVELY at the out-numbered Rangers! General Shogun says: “You’re in for it NOW, Rangers! You’ve put up a good fight SO far; but this is where your heroics END! NOBODY gets the better of Queen Hedrian when SHE unleashes the GAUNTLET!!!!”

Naruto defiantly says: “We’ll just see about that; WON’T we?! Rangers, each of us must use our Power Weapons, and attack THREE monsters at the same time! Pinkie, you’ve got the Soap, Flower, and Phone Monster! Toby, you’ve got the Oil, Crocodile, and Star Monster! Usagi, you’ve got the Demon Girl, Witch, and Plague Monster! Lettuce, you’ve got the Gorilla, Spider, and Tiger Monster! Ebony, you’ve got the Reaper, Butcher, and Raider Monster! BlackHawk, you’ve got the Beetle, Magician, AND General Shogun! I’ll take care of the other three!”

BlackHawk says: “I could argue about your choices; but seeing as how we’re in a bit of a pinch, I’ll let it slide this time!” /

As the Rangers proceed to engage in the TREMENDOUS fight against the many monsters; a hit song by the Blue Oyster Cult is inexplicably played while the Flower, Witch, Reaper, Star, Beetle, Spider, and Sister Spectrum monsters are being taken down! /

“All our times have come. Here, but now they're gone. Seasons don't fear the reaper. Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain...we can be like they are. Come on baby...don't fear the reaper. Baby take my hand... don't fear the reaper. We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper. Baby, I'm your man. La, la, la, la, la. La, la, la, la, la. Valentine is done. Here, but now they're gone. Romeo and Juliet, are together in eternity. Romeo and Juliet. 40,000 men and women everyday...like Romeo and Juliet. 40,000 men and women everyday...redefine happiness. Another 40,000 coming everyday...we can be like they are. Come on baby...don't fear the reaper. Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper. We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper. Baby I'm your man. La, la, la, la, la. La, la, la, la, la. Love of two is one. Here, but now they're gone. Came the last night of sadness, and it was clear, she couldn't go on. Then the door was open, and the wind appeared. The candles blew, and then disappeared. The curtains flew and then he appeared... saying, don't be afraid. Come on baby…and she had no fear. And she ran to him...then they started to fly. They looked backward and said goodbye...she had become like they are. She had taken his hand... she had become like they are. Come on baby... don't fear the reaper.” /

And the epic song ends as SEVEN of the monsters are taken down! Pinkie says: “I hate to pluck a pretty flower, but that one felt alright to nip in the bud!”

Toby says: “I guess that’s one shooting star whose wish won’t come true!”

Usagi says: “That witch was easier to take down than the Wicked Witch of the West!”

Lettuce says: “I crushed THAT spider!”

Ebony says: “They just don’t make reapers like they used to!”

Naruto says: “That lady had many colors, but none of which could best me!”

BlackHawk says: “Save the witty catch-phrases for later! We’ve still got more than a dozen MONSTERS to take down!”

D.O.G. says: “Agreed! We’re not in the home stretch YET!”

As the Rangers continue to fight the relentless monsters, another hit song; this time, one by Jefferson Starship, is inexplicably played while the Rangers fight the Soap, Crocodile, Demon, Tiger, Raider, Magician, and Bloodsucker monsters! /

“I want to ride, ride the tiger! I want to ride, ride the tiger! It will be black and white in the dead of night! Eyes flashing in the clear moonlight! I want to ride, ride the tiger! It's like a tear in the hands of a western man! Tell you about salt, carbon and water, but a tear to a Chinese man. He'll tell you about sadness and sorrow, or the love of a man and a woman. I want to ride, ride the tiger! I want to sail through the rising sun for you, and you. We got something to learn from the other side. Something to give, we got nothing to hide. I want to ride, ride the tiger! Black wants out of the streets. Yellow wants the country. Red wants the country back. And white wants out of this world. Sing; sing to the sky! I want to ride, ride the tiger! I want to ride, ride the tiger! Look to the summer of seventy-five. All the world is gonna come alive! Do you want to ride, ride the tiger? It's like a tear in the hands of a western man. Tell you about salt, carbon and water. But a tear to an Oriental man. He'll tell you about sadness and sorrow, or the love of a man and a woman!” /

And the epic song ends as SEVEN more monsters are taken down! Pinkie says: “Who knew fighting a soap monster could be so TRICKY?!”

Toby says: “I won’t be crying any tears for THAT crocodile!”

Usagi says: “That demon needed a check-up from the NECK up!”

Lettuce says: “That was a wild tiger, but I tamed it!”

Ebony says: “I guess THAT monster won’t be raiding anymore!”

Naruto says: “I guess I knew more tricks than THAT Magician!”

BlackHawk seriously says: “Guys, focus! We can’t afford to GET distracted! We’ve got to finish this fight while we’ve got them on the ropes!”

Pinkie complains: “But BlackHawk, the rest of us are getting REALLY; really tired! I don’t know how much longer we can fight!”

Death Phone says: “We’ve got them on the ropes, NOW!”

Panic Oil says: “Agreed! It’s only a matter of time, before we are able to…”

Sans shouts: “Guys! I’ve come to help!!!!”

General Shogun yells: “DESTROY that skeleton!!!!”

D.O.G. shouts: “NO!!!!” And Dog barks a super-sonic BARK!!!! This bark actually BLOWS the remaining monsters away!!!!

BlackHawk says: “That was INCREDIBLE!!!! How did you do that?!”

D.O.G. says: “Well, I AM a dog from Eltar. We ARE able to DO things that most ordinary dogs aren’t able to do.”

Usagi says: “I did not know that!”

Toby says: “Sans, why are you here?”

Sans says: “Undyne told me that you guys were about to engage in a difficult battle, and I thought you might need a little energy boost to get you through this challenging fight!”

Lettuce says: “Now that you mention it, we COULD use a little bit of refreshment!”

Sans reaches into his back-pack, and takes out seven cans of Orange Crush. Sans says: “This is a special type of Orange Crush specially made by me. It will replenish your energy levels to FULL fighting strength once you DRINK it!”

Ebony says: “Sure sounds better than getting STUCK with a flavor of Bertie Bott’s every FLAVOR beans that you DON’T like!”

Sans says: “However, I DO require that you still pay for it! The materials I used weren’t exactly CHEAP, you know!”

BlackHawk says: “I’ll do it! My mother IS rich, you know! She works as a publicist and gets a lot of BOOKS written for people who CAN’T get books published by themselves!”

BlackHawk hands over $20 to Sans, and he hands over the cans of Orange Crush. Naruto says: “Down the hatch!”

The Rangers temporarily retract their visors, so they can drink the concoction; and sure enough, they are completely RESTORED to full fighting strength! Pinkie says: “Now THAT’S what I call a pick-me up!”

Usagi says: “Now we can take it to the REST of those monsters!”

General Shogun returns, and he says: “So you think restoring your energy is going to help you in this fight? It’s going to take a LOT more than just brute STRENGTH to take US down!”

Toby says: “We’re fully WELL aware of that!”

Lettuce says: “That’s why we’re working together as a team!”

Ebony says: “On our own, we’re just seven average teenagers!”

Pinkie says: “But together, we’re MUCH more than the sum of our parts!”

Naruto says: “By fighting together, we are a source of strength no one else can match!”

BlackHawk says: “And we will not rest; until your brand of evil is banished from the Earth!”

Usagi says: “Power Rangers together!”

The seven of them simultaneously says: “Multiverse Force, FOREVER!!!!”

And seven puffs of colored explosion, EACH representing the Ranger’s respective color, appear from right behind them! Sans says: “D.O.G., remind me to ask you just HOW the Rangers are able to do that EVERY time they strike a dramatic pose!”

D.O.G. says: “Just as soon as you tell BlackHawk how you are able to ride SO fast on a bicycle!”

Sans shakes his head, and he just says: “I couldn’t explain it to you, even if I TRIED!!!!”

D.O.G. says: “Same thing goes for the colored explosions!”

General Shogun says: “Monsters, attack!!!!”

And as the final six monsters and General Shogun charge; BlackHawk and Pinkie briefly STOP when they HEAR something playing in the background, and it’s the START of another hit song! BlackHawk asks: “What is WITH these hit songs that play whenever we’re about to fight monsters?”

Pinkie gasps and she asks: “You hear it TOO?! I thought I was the ONLY one!”

The song, in question, is a hit song by R.E.M. / “(Follow me, don't follow me). I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush. (Collar me, don't collar me). I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush. (We are agents of the free). I've had my fun, and now, it's time to serve your conscience overseas. (Over me, not over me). Coming in fast, over me, (oh, oh). (Follow me, don't follow me). I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush. (Collar me, don't collar me). I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush. (We are agents of the free). I've had my fun, and now, it's time to serve your conscience overseas. (Over me, not over me). Coming in fast, over me, (oh, oh). High on the booze in a tent paved with blood. Nine inch howl, brave the night; chopper comin' in, you hope. We would circle and we'd circle and we'd circle to stop and consider, and centered on the pavement, stacked up, all the trucks jacked up, and our wheels in slush, and orange crush in pocket, and all this here county, hell, any county, it's just like heaven here, and I was remembering, and I was just in a different county, and all then this whirlybird that I headed for, I had my goggles pulled off; I knew it all, I knew every back road, and every truck stop. (Follow me, don't follow me). I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush. (Collar me, don't collar me). I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush. (We are agents of the free). I've had my fun, and now, it's time to serve your conscience overseas. (Over me, not over me). Coming in fast, over me, (oh, oh). High on the booze, in a tent paved with blood. Nine inch howl, brave the night; chopper comin' in, you hope. High on the booze, in a tent; paved with blood. Nine inch howl, brave the night; chopper comin' in, you hope.” /

And the epic song ends as ALL the monsters except for General Shogun end up being DESTROYED and blown into chunks by the Power Rangers! Naruto says: “I hate blood-suckers!”

Toby says: “No need to panic, I took care of THAT oil monster!”

Pinkie says: “Call me once you come up with a BETTER monster!”

Usagi says: “You won’t be spreading any more plagues around HERE!”

Lettuce says: “That gorilla won’t be spreading anymore riots!”

Ebony says: “I butchered THAT butcher!”

BlackHawk says: “Down to one NOW, General Shogun! Surrender and we’ll spare you, your LIFE!!!!”

General Shogun suddenly LAUGHS maniacally, which fills the Rangers with dread! Sans asks: “Ebony, I’m no expert, but a monster who LAUGHS like that; it’s a BAD thing, right?”

Ebony says: “I THINK that General Shogun WANTED us to take out all these monsters!”

General Shogun says: “You FOOLS!!!! Individually, all these monsters were worth NEXT to nothing; but by combining ALL their strengths, I will become the UNSTOPPABLE monster!!!!”

And General Shogun BREATHES in a HUGE breath, and SUCKS in the blown-up chunks of ALL the MONSTERS!!!! As soon as he does, red lightning FLOWS over his body and General Shogun, very CREEPILY, says: “It’s time to get BIG, AGAIN!!!!”

And General Shogun grows GIANT, flowing with the energy of ALL the monsters he absorbed!!!! Toby says: “All right, that’s a TRICK the Power Rangers Digital Squadron NEVER faced!”

Usagi says: “Sans and D.O.G., you better get out of here! We need the Dinozords, NOW!!!!”

And as Sans and D.O.G. run away, the five normal dinozords come to join forces with the Spinosaurus, while Ebony plays her guitar to SUMMON the Velociraptor zord!

The Rangers all jump into their respective zords! BlackHawk says: “All right, it’s time to see what the Spinosaurus can REALLY do!”

Toby says: “It’s time to take out General Shogun once and for ALL!”

Pinkie says: “Time to show that creep, what the power of friendship is ALL about!”

Usagi says: “Usagi here, ready to use the full power of this Dinozord!”

Lettuce says: “I’m ready, to bring General Shogun DOWN to the ground!”

Ebony says: “Nobody’s going to bring THIS girl down!”

Naruto says: “All right! Time to form the Multi-MEGAZORD!!!!”

General Shogun chillingly says: “Do you honestly think that I’m just going to LET you have a fair chance AGAINST ME?!!!”

And General Shogun shoots a bunch of electricity at the RANGERS, preventing them from forming the Multi-Megazord! Toby says: “Ebony, BlackHawk, you need to DISTRACT General Shogun so we can form the Multi-Megazord!”

BlackHawk says: “Can do, you GUYS!!!!”

The Velociraptor zord uses its JETPACK to zoom around General Shogun, and HIT it several TIMES while the giant samurai monster is DIZZY!!!! BlackHawk says: “Time to give this beast a few ROUNDS with this zord’s arsenal!!!!”

And BlackHawk fires a BUNCH of energy torpedo’s and missiles out of the Spinosaurus, which BRIEFLY knocks General Shogun to the ground! Naruto says: “Like I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted; it’s time to form the Multi-Megazord!!!!”

A robotic voice says: “Multi-Megazord sequence has been initiated!” /

At Queen Hedrian’s base, Mirror nervously says: “Oh NO; they’re forming the Multi-Megazord!”

Queen Hedrian scoffs, and she says: “Zord, SHMORD; with his NEW strength, General Shogun will CRUSH that over-sized toy like a COCKROACH!!!!” /

A robotic voice says: Multi-Megazord activated!!!!”

General Shogun says: “If you think that you have a CHANCE against me, you are sadly MISTAKEN!!!!”

Lettuce says: “Let’s not waste any time messing around! We need the Power Sword, NOW!!!!”

And the Power Sword appears in an electrical flash, filled to the brim with power!

Usagi says: “Time to send this creep BACK where he belongs!”

And the Multi-Megazord SWINGS, but General Shogun COUNTERS with his BIG, orange BLADE!!!! General Shogun sarcastically SAYS: “What’s the matter; out of POWER, Power Rangers?!”

General Shogun DEFLECTS the swing, and STRIKES at the Multi-Megazord, KNOCKING it to the GROUND!!!! Pinkie asks: “What HAPPENED?!!!”

Naruto says: “The Power Sword didn’t WORK!!!! General Shogun absorbed too much STRENGTH from those other monsters!!!!” /

At the Command Center, Omnus says: “Rangers, Ebony must combine her zord, with yours, and create the Multi-Velociraptor Megazord!” /

Ebony says: “I can do that?! All right, let’s see if it works! Time to join up with the OTHERS!!!!”

And before General Shogun can blink, the Velociraptor Zord BREAKS apart, and forms a protective ARMOR over the rest of the Megazord, with the head of the Velociraptor zord over the transformed head of the Tyrannosaurus, as a makeshift helmet!

Ebony gets a seat in the Multi-Megazord, and she says: “All right! I’m up with the BIG boys! Multi-Velociraptor Megazord, ACTIVATE!!!!”

General Shogun says: “Fallen MONSTERS; give me your STRENGTH!!!!”

Toby says: “Let’s strike him before he charges UP!!!!”

And with the added SPEED of the Velociraptor, the powered-up Megazord CHARGES at General Shogun, but General Shogun still says: “FIRE!!!!”

But in the nick of time, Pinkie says: “ANKYLO Shield!!!!”

The charge, and the powerful blast of fire, end up cancelling each other out!

Usagi says: “We need a new tactic!”

Lettuce says: “Velociraptor, charge up V BLAST!!!!”

And with a surge of black and GREEN energy, the Megazord shoots a V-shaped blast of energy at General Shogun, but General Shogun BLOCKS the blast with his sword! The sword ends up getting KNOCKED out of General Shogun’s hand, and down to the ground next to the Spinosaurus zord! And the rest of the blast ends up getting DEFLECTED back to the Multi-Megazord, KNOCKING it down to the ground AGAIN!!!! General Shogun defiantly says: “Don’t you GET it YET; nothing you try is going to make a bit of DIFFERENCE!!!!”

BlackHawk says: “I’m not going to give up, YET!!!! If Ebony can join up with the Megazord, then so can I! Rangers, let the Spinosaurus become the BASE! I’m going to give the Megazord a MEGA boost!”

Pinkie says: “That’s a good idea if I’VE ever heard of one!!!!”

Changing into a huge TANK form, the Spinosaurus zord produces multiple LARGE cannons, flame-throwers, and LASERS from its body, and the Multi-Megazord JUMPS onto the back of the Spinosaurus zord! /

Omnus says: “Rangers, say hello to the final word in Megazord battles, the Multi-ULTRAZORD!!!!” /

And a HUGE blast of explosive energy is formed from the creation of the Ultrazord! BlackHawk is now seen in the newly formed Ultrazord! Usagi says: “Wow! I didn’t know we could ALL fit in here!”

BlackHawk says: “Yeah, it’s actually quite cozy!!!!”

General Shogun defiantly says: “So me what you’ve got!!!!”

Naruto says: “Multi-Ultrazord…”

And the Rangers simultaneously say: “Fire FULL ARSENAL!!!!”

And in a fast blurry of charges and BLASTS, General Shogun is completely over-whelmed by the display of FIRE-POWER from the ULTRAZORD!!!! General Shogun moans and says: “My body, is DISINTEGRATING!!!! My QUEEN, AVENGE ME!!!!” And General Shogun BLOWS up in a fiery blaze of energy!!!!

BlackHawk says: “No matter who you are, or how strong you are…”

Lettuce says: “The Rangers will ALWAYS be there to bring you down, every single TIME!!!!” /

At Queen Hedrian’s base, Mirror is producing a LOT of busts, ALL from the fallen monsters that were destroyed by the Rangers, and of General Shogun himself! But while Mirror is calm, Demon King Banriki is positively LIVID!!!! Demon King Banriki screams: “I won’t stand for THIS; I CAN’T stand for THIS!!!!”

And Demon King Banriki starts SHOOTING electricity EVERYWHERE; damaging the SHIP, and inflicting GRAVE injuries upon the Dusters in the base! Queen Hedrian screams: “Banriki, I demand that you calm down, RIGHT NOW!!!!”

And the Demon King suddenly STOPS; SHOCKED that Queen Hedrian didn’t address him by his FULL title! Queen Hedrian sighs and says: “It was NOT supposed to go DOWN like this! The only thing I’m thankful for, is that Rita is no longer EVIL, and therefore no longer inclined to criticize what has happened today.”

Mirror asks: “What are we going to do? We’ve lost MOST of the monsters we HAD in our hatchery reserve! Not to mention, General Shogun himself! We can’t POSSIBLY hope to combat SEVEN Rangers with our diminished resources!”

Queen Hedrian sighs and says: “Unfortunately, you’re right. We CAN’T fight against them; at least, NOT on our OWN! Which is why we will have to resort to something that I hoped, we would NEVER have to resort to.”

Banriki asks: “And what is that, my dear Queen?”

Queen Hedrian gulps, and she says: “We have to…we have to…we have to…WE have to…”

Banriki screams: “Spit it OUT, already!!!!”

Queen Hedrian screams: “AGREE to offer our services to EMPEROR DIABOLICA!!!!”

Mirror gasps and asks: “You’re SERIOUS about this?!”

Banriki skulks, and says: “I will NOT offer my loyalties to Emperor Diabolica, I FORBID IT!!!!”

Queen Hedrian seriously says: “As long as I’M the Queen, you will decide NOTHING!!!! My decision is FINAL!!!! Besides, it’s only until the RANGERS are destroyed! Once they are GONE, THAN we can resume our fight against Emperor Diabolica! It’s for the GREATER cause!” /

On Emperor Diabolica’s ship, Emperor Diabolica has woken up, and he is NONE too happy about the results of today’s battle! Emperor Diabolica angrily says: “BLOCKHEADS!!!! MORONS!!!! IDIOTS!!!! BRAIN DEAD RETARDS!!!! You have NO BRAINS!!!!” And Emperor Diabolica proceeds to DISINTEGRATE a bunch of Imps JUST to vent his frustration, and BLAST electricity at EVERYTHING that ISN’T bolted down to the floor!!!!

Vipera scoffs and says: “Well, I hate to say, ‘We TOLD you so;’ but the fact of the matter is, we TOTALLY did try to TELL you so!”

Emperor Diabolica angrily says: “All I asked for was for ONE monster to destroy those STUPID Power Rangers, and you CAN’T even get THAT right!!!! If YOU don’t STRAIGHTEN up, your very EXISTENCE in this dimension is going to become very THREATENED around HERE!!!!”

Drako interrupts and says: “I hate to interrupt your rant, sire, but Queen Hedrian is hailing us on the interdimensional calling channel.”

Emperor Diabolica calms down, and says: “Perhaps today has NOT been a lost cause, after all.”

And in a whir of electricity and magic, a large screen appears, and in it, the image of Queen Hedrian. Queen Hedrian says: “Emperor Diabolica.”

Emperor Diabolica says: “Queen Hedrian.”

Queen Hedrian seriously says: “I know you are a busy tyrant, so I’ll spare you the pleasantries and get right down to business. Earlier today, we both tried a HUGE gambit in our attempts to bring down the Power Rangers. Sadly, on our own, we both failed to bring an end to even ONE of the Power Rangers! I’m not calling to gloat over YOUR failure, or listen to YOUR condescending views toward MY failure! I have called you, because we BOTH want the same thing; the utter destruction of those Power Rangers! Therefore, I am proposing a temporary truce between the Taurans, and the Hedrian Clan.”

Kraky says: “A truce?! That sounds like a good deal!”

Queen Hedrian says: “Here’s how it will work; I will gladly offer any and all services you may require, as you come up with a plan that will lead to the doom and DEATHS of those DESPICABLE Power Rangers! If you are successful in bringing down the Power Rangers with one of your plans; then all I ask in return, is that you divide HALF of Core Earth equally among us, however you see fit to do so!”

Circe says: “Sounds like a good deal! Half is better than no Core Earth at all!”

Queen Hedrian says: “However, don’t expect my civility towards you to last. This is only a TEMPORARY truce! As soon as the Power Rangers are gone, we will resume our war against each other, and fight for the rest of Core Earth. Winner takes ALL; no exceptions! I won’t go easy on you, nor will I expect you to show any mercy towards me. We both fully know what EACH of us is capable of! Let’s see if we can put it to better use, as we unite to destroy the Rangers, once and for all!”

Emperor Diabolica thinks about it, and says: “Very well, Queen Hedrian; you have a deal. We shall cease fighting against each other, until we can get RID of those Rangers!”

Queen Hedrian says: “Very well, then. I hope this alliance proves to be beneficial for the BOTH of us!”

And Queen Hedrian’s image disappears! Vipera scoffs and she says: “Did you hear her TALK to us like THAT?!!! Do you honestly think the HEDRIAN clan can be trusted to keep their word?!”

Emperor Diabolica seriously says: “Of course I don’t TRUST them! But…if they are WILLING to lend their SERVICES to us in order to HELP our goals, far be it for US to stop them! As far as I’m concerned; Queen Hedrian and the REST of her breed, are just a bunch of USEFUL idiots! No more, no less. And once the Rangers are gone, we are TOTALLY going to double-cross Queen Hedrian, and take ALL of Core Earth for ourselves! And you, will even get to rule Neo Austrailiasia, as you so DEEPLY desire!”

Vipera smiles and says: “Forgive my earlier suspicions, sire. It looks like you HAVE thought of how to take care of EVERYTHING!!!!”

Emperor Diabolica says: “Drako, it looks like you have a chance to redeem yourself. With Queen Hedrian’s help, you’ll be able to make MUCH stronger monsters than EVER before!”

Drako nods his head and says: “Thank you, sire! I won’t let you down again!”

Emperor Diabolica smiles and says: “Everything is going, according to plan!” /

At the Juice Bar, the Rangers are taking a much-needed break, after their long fight against all of the monsters they had to face against! Usagi says: “That was a TOTALLY amazing fight we had today!”

Toby says: “You said it! We definitely earned our R. and R. today!”

Pinkie says: “And we even got a brand new Ranger to help us out in our fights.”

BlackHawk sighs, and he says: “I’m afraid it’s not that simple.”

Lettuce asks: “What do you mean?”

BlackHawk says: “I already checked with Alpha Eight. The Orange Ruby DOES allow me to turn into a Ranger, but only as long as the Orange Ruby is connected to my own Woo Foo Powers! It’s not an inexhaustible source of energy like the Morphing Grid. I can recharge my powers, but it takes me time to do so. Therefore, I won’t always be able to just jump in and help you guys at any time, so you’ll have to continue to rely on your own strength for the most part.”

Naruto says: “Don’t worry about it; we’ll call for your help ONLY if we REALLY need it!”

BlackHawk smiles, and he says: “Well, I guess I better go shopping!”

Ebony asks: “Shopping? What for?”

BlackHawk chuckles and he says: “For new clothes! I noticed a severe lack of ORANGE in my wardrobe!”

Pinkie says: “Oh, BlackHawk!!!!” And the Rangers all laugh at the observation! /

Episode Notes: First time that Emperor Diabolica has used the forces of Chaos to summon a monster, instead of relying on Drako’s Blood Beasts. Unfortunately, this does NOT end well for Emperor Diabolica! Second time that the God of Chaos, Khorne has been mentioned; and we even hear him SPEAK through General Crush! T’zeentch is also NARROWLY almost mentioned twice, but Drako doesn’t go THROUGH with saying his full name. General Crush is an affectionate parody of the Kremlings, from the “Donkey Kong Country” video game series. We get to see where BlackHawk lives, and even get to hear his MOM for the first time! Debut appearance of the Spinosaurus Zord, and first time Vipera has ever DRIVEN a Zord! Drako resurrects some of his old monsters in this episode; which are General Skeleton, Emperor Sphinx, Greedy Goat, Road Hog, Karaoke Knight, Sciance, Vincent Van Gopher, Squid Clown, Beat Him, and Octhulu! BlackHawk becomes an ORANGE Ranger in this episode, and gains full control of the Spinosaurus! It is revealed that you can’t kill a Demon from the Chaos Realm, you have to seal it BACK into the Chaos Realm in order to defeat it! First time that Undyne has ever tried to fight a monster. Another previous Power Ranger team is mentioned by Toby; the “Power Rangers Battle Fever.” Featured songs in this episode are: “She’s a Woman in Love (It’s Not Me), Monster Mash,” and “Everybody Hurts.” The episode title is a reference to the soda brand of Orange Crush; GENERAL Crush and the whole quest for the Orange Ruby; and the R.E.M. song of “Orange Crush.” /

First appearance of the Multi-Velociraptor Megazord, AND the Multi-Ultrazord, the former consisting of the Velociraptor zord forming with the Multi-Megazord, and the latter consisting of the Spinosaurus zord forming with the Multi-Velociraptor Megazord! General Shogun is DESTROYED in this episode! Featured songs in this episode are “Don’t Fear the Reaper; Ride the Tiger;” and “Orange Crush,” the latter is ALSO the episode title! It’s revealed in this episode that both BlackHawk and Pinkie Pie have fourth wall situational awareness; they can HEAR the songs being played that the rest of the Rangers AREN’T able to! Queen Hedrian creates a temporary truce between the Hedrian Clan and the Taurans, which will last ONLY until EITHER of them are EVER able to come up with a plan to DESTROY the Power Rangers!

Personal Notes: While I had the idea for BlackHawk to BECOME a Power Ranger since the very beginning; I felt that since this was Renegade’s series to begin with, that BlackHawk should EARN his Ranger status FIRST, as opposed to JUST getting those powers! Having BlackHawk mature and bond with the Orange Ruby, was a way of doing that. One thing I noticed with a LOT of seasons of the “Power Rangers,” is that once the final Ranger is introduced, it is often the GAME changer for the “Power Rangers,” and the other Rangers will often RELY on the final Power Ranger in order to SOLVE their problems! In order to prevent this problem, I decided to LIMIT BlackHawk’s ability to morph into a Power Ranger, by making the Orange Ruby be tied to BlackHawk’s Woo Foo Powers, and NOT to the Morphing Grid! This also makes for a much more legitimate excuse as to WHY BlackHawk doesn’t ALWAYS fight with the rest of the “Power Rangers;” it’s because he needs TIME to recharge his Woo Foo powers! / That’s my episode idea for today! Enough said, true believers!

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Cold As Ice

It's a nice and sunny morning in the city of Coastal Falls, and it was business as usual in the Jones household. The house's matriarch, Madison, was cooking breakfast when her son Toby sleepily walked into the kitchen. "Good morning, dear." the woman greeted cheerfully.

"Morning, mom." Toby replied. Immediately, it was obvious that there was something amiss. For one, Toby's voice sounded like his throat was filled with spit. As soon as he got close enough for her to reach, Madison pressed the back of her hand to Toby's forehead, her suspicions confirmed by the low fever that she instantly felt. Toby looked at his mother, utterly confused. "...Are you OK, mom?" he asked.

"I am," she responded. "but you aren't. Back to bed, mister. You're staying home today." At this, Toby realized what was going on: he was sick. There was no denying it; the gross feeling in his throat should have given it away. Normally, a run-of-the-mill cold wouldn't have been a problem...that is, if Toby weren't a Power Ranger. He obviously couldn't perform his duties in his condition, what would Omnus say? He'd probably give the usual advice of getting as much rest as possible, drinking plenty of fluids, etc. Resigned to his current situation, Toby went back upstairs, hoping he'd contact the Command Center for options on what to do once his mother left for work. Which, of course, brought yet another problem to the forefront.

"Mom," he called. "If you're not gonna be here, who's gonna take care of me today?"

Madison paused, not having thought of that. "...Maybe you can call up one of your friends?"

"Mom, they'll be in school." Toby deadpanned.

"Oh. What about those other friends of yours? The ones who run the Juice Bar at the mall?"

"Papyrus and Undyne..." Toby said, getting an idea. "Y'know, Papyrus might want to. He's always willing to help anyone."

"All right, dear. Do you have his number?"

Toby nodded, dialing the Juice Bar's number. After a small dial tone, a familiar, high-pitched voice answered: "HELLO, YOU'RE CALLING THE COASTAL FALLS JUICE BAR. THIS IS PAPYRUS."

"Hey, Papyrus. It's Toby. I need..." Before he could finish, Toby was interrupted by Papyrus.

"TOBY? IS THAT YOU? OH DEAR, YOU SOUND TERRIBLE!"

"Yeah, that's why I called. Since my mom's gonna be at work, I'm gonna need someone to help me get better."

"NOT TO WORRY, HUMAN! I, THE GRRRREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL NURSE YOU BACK TO HEALTH!"

"Thanks." said Toby. "But, wait...won't Undyne notice you're gone?"

"I ALREADY HAVE A PLAN! I WILL WRITE A NOTE EXPLAINING MY ABSENCE, AND HOPEFULLY SANS CAN FILL IN FOR ME!"

"Great." said Toby. "See you in a bit, Papyrus."

"I WILL SEE YOU THEN. GOODBYE, TOBY." And then another dial tone, indicating Papyrus hung up, presumably to go write his note.

Meanwhile, aboard the Diabolic, the combined forces of Emperor Diabolica and Queen Hedrian were watching these events, as per usual...at least, for Diabolica's forces. Hedrian's forces, or what remained of them, were only starting to get used to working with the Taurans. "Hm. With the Blue Ranger out of the way, I see this as a perfect opportunity to strike." Queen Hedrian observed.

"Agreed." said Diabolica. "Should we send down a monster?"

At this, Drako's eyes lit up. "Oh, thank you, sire, I promise I will not fail-" At this, Diabolica growled, baring his claws at the small reptilian. He looked none too pleased, his pupiless eyes glowing a ghastly white.

"You will not fail, Drako, that much is certain. Before you question why, I will tell you: because you will not be participating in this scheme."

"Yes..." Queen Hedrian agreed. "He has failed you one too many times, yes?"

Emperor Diabolica nodded. "Indeed he has. That is why we will send one of the Hedrian Monsters instead."

"Are you sure you wish to do that, Emperor?" Hedrian asked. "You must remember that I only have 10 of these eggs left. Use them wisely."

"I am sure of it, Queen Hedrian." Diabolica answered. "Now, which one will we use to attack the Rangers?"

Hedrian put a finger to her chin, rubbing it in thought. "Hmmm..." she pondered. "Since the Blue Ranger has a cold, I suggest we freeze the others. And I have just the one." At her command, Circe and Kraky retrieved one of the Hedrieggs from a nearby shelf, and brought it forward. Taking it, Hedrian cast a spell, causing the egg to hatch into what could only be described as a cybernetic, squarish...thing with a maw of teeth molded into a permanent frown. The monster's most distinguishable feature was the large blue brain sticking out of its head, permanently frosted over with a layer of ice. "This is Freezir." the queen introduced. "He will be sent down to Core Earth and he will freeze the Rangers in battle."

"Excellent, my queen!" said Demon King Banriki. "Hopefully, this plan will not fail!"

"Before we begin, I have one request." said Mirror.

"Yes?" inquired Hedrian, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

"I would like to go into battle, so that I may avenge my sister." At this, Hedrian was shocked. She couldn't afford to lose another of her loyal subjects. A part of her, however, knew what Mirror's request boiled down to: revenge against the Rangers. Not just for Keller...but for General Shogun as well. Sighing, Hedrian gave a simple nod of confirmation, then cast a spell transforming Mirror into a golden monster similar to her sister.

"Do not fret, my queen." said Banriki. "I will accompany Mirror to ensure she is out of harm's way." And then he, Mirror, and Freezir teleported away.

A bit later, Papyrus had arrived at Toby's home, and was currently cooking chicken spaghetti soup...which, given that this was Papyrus' cooking, didn't sound very appetizing. And when he brought it to Toby, it didn't look very appetizing either, with chunks of marinara, chicken, and meatball swimming in a brownish broth. Not wishing to be rude, Toby took a spoonful, gently blew on it, and shoved it into his gullet. His face nearly scrunched up, the taste...actually wasn't too bad. It wasn't the best of course, but it certainly wasn't terrible. Toby began ravenously spooning more of the spaghetti-soup into his mouth, much to Papyrus' delight. "WOWIE!" the skeleton shouted. "YOU MUST REALLY ENJOY MY COOKING IF YOU ATE THAT FAST!"

"It was delicious!" Toby said with eager sincerity. "Reminds me of...of..." Toby's happy tone had changed to one of somberness quickly.

"PLEASE, DON'T CRY." said Papyrus, his tone worried. "TELL ME WHAT TROUBLES YOU."

Calming down a bit (though with his voice still on the verge of breaking), Toby replied with, "It's just...your cooking reminds me of my father's." Upon the mention of that last word, Papyrus instantly understood what Toby was talking about.

"...I SEE." said Papyrus. "IT SEEMS WE SHARE SOMETHING IN COMMON...BESIDES COOKING, I MEAN."

"You had a father?" Toby asked.

"...ONCE." Papyrus said, his own voice wistful and nostalgic for times gone by. "TELL ME ABOUT YOUR FATHER. IT MIGHT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER."

"...My father's name was Derek Jones." Toby began. "He worked as a veternarian for Pokemon. Back when he was alive, we had a perfect family: him, my mom, my older sister Lucy, and me."

"I DO NOT WISH TO BRING UP BAD MEMORIES...BUT HOW DID HE...PASS ON?" Papyrus asked, intrigued and curious to hear more.

"...I can't remember; I was only five. My sister was eight. All we know is it was a work-related accident. It involved a very sick Pikachu. After my dad died...the three of us...we had to help each other support ourselves. My sister helped take care of me until she left for college a few months before we came to Coastal Falls." By the end of his story, Toby was gripping Papyrus in a tight hug. "...Thank you, Papyrus. You're not only helping me get better physically, but emotionally too."

"YOU'RE WELCOME, TOBY. I SUPPOSE YOU'D LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT MY FATHER NOW, RIGHT?" Toby nodded. "HIS NAME WAS W.D. GASTER. BACK IN THE UNDERGROUND, HE WORKED AS KING ASGORE'S ROYAL SCIENTIST, BUILDING THE CORE, A PLACE THAT PROVIDED THE ENTIRE CAVERN SYSTEM WITH POWER. HE...DID NOT DIE, PER SE. HE DISAPPEARED, BY COINCIDENCE, IN A WORK-RELATED ACCIDENT; FELL INTO THE SPACE BETWEEN SECTIONS OF THE CORE...A SPACE, THEY SAY, IS A VOID BETWEEN SPACE AND TIME. THERE IS STILL A WARNING THAT HAS BEEN HEARD SINCE THAT DAY, ONE I STILL CANNOT UNDERSTAND: 'BEWARE THE MAN WHO SPEAKS IN HANDS'." When Papyrus finished his story, a thought crossed Toby's mind, one that filled him with dread...was Dr. Gaster somehow trapped in the Warp? If he was...Toby pushed the thought out of his head, and simply continued hugging Papyrus in a warm embrace of friendship.

Sometime even later, at the Juice Bar, the other Rangers were relaxing as per usual, when the familiar beeping of the Power Watches was heard. "Duty calls." Naruto said to Undyne, who simply nodded as the Rangers found a quiet corner to communicate in.

"Rangers, we have an emergency." said Omnus. "A monster is attacking Coastal Falls...but it is not the usual monster you tend to face: it is one of Queen Hedrian's."

"I thought you destroyed all of those last time!" Undyne said.

"We did, but it seems a few survived." Lettuce replied.

"All right, you know what to do." Naruto said. "IT'S MORPHIN' TI-"

"WAIT!" shouted Pinkie. "We can't fight without Toby!"

"Isn't he sick?" Usagi asked.

"Yeah." said Ebony. "Your point?"

"Point is," said Naruto. "Toby's in no condition to fight right now."

"So what do we do?" Lettuce asked. "It's not like we can just replaHEY...wait a minute..." He slowly turned to Undyne, who grinned. "Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

"Of course!" said Undyne. "I said I'd fill in for one of you just in case, and I'm gonna keep that promise!"

"There's a bit of a problem with that." said Naruto. "I don't think we can just teleport Toby's Power Watch to you."

"Do not worry!" said Alpha 8 over the communicator. "I can temporarily transfer Toby's watch to Undyne so that she can become the Blue Ranger." And just like that, the Power Watch was on Undyne's right hand.

"Sweet!" said Undyne. "IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!"

"VELOCIRAPTOR!"

"ANKYLOSAURUS!"

"TRICERATOPS!"

"HADROSAURUS!"

"STEGOSAURUS!"

"TYRANNOSAURUS!"

Once morphed, the team was teleported to the battlefield and posed. "POWER RANGERS!" they announced.

As per usual, they were confronted with the cannon fodder...except this time, it was now a blend of Dusters and Imps. "...Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?" Usagi asked.

"You mean Dusters and Imps working together?" Pinkie asked. "No, I'm seeing it too."

"So I'm not crazy then." Usagi deadpanned.

"Whatever they are, they're getting their butts kicked!" said Undyne, charging forward. The other Rangers followed suit, performing their typical moves. Undyne handled them via hand to hand combat and weapons, Naruto did backflips and hard punches, Pinkie improvised with various bucks, heaves, and party tricks, Usagi punched and kicked, Lettuce used basic wrestling moves, Ebony combined basic magic and unarmed fighting. Once the minions were defeated, Mirror, Banriki, and Freezir showed up. 

"We'll split up." Naruto said. "Undyne, you take care of Mirror and Banriki, we'll take care of this monster." Undyne nodded.

Banriki grinned devilishly, and Mirror growled. With a yell, Banriki found himself in hand to hand combat with Undyne, discovering that she was unusually strong for her size. "You're tough." he said. "But I, the demon king, am tougher."

"Oh, really?" said Undyne, summoning not one but two spears. Before Banriki could react, his eyes were suddenly gouged out via Undyne showing the spear tips into his eye sockets. Now blinded and with blood streaming out like blackened tears, Banriki wildly swung his weapon around...with Mirror in his path. With a yell, he struck Mirror dead, her body going up in a fiery explosion. Undyne pulled her spears out of Banriki's eyes as he teleported away. Once he was gone, the team was confronted with Freezir, who laughed.

"You may have defeated Banriki and Mirror, but you still have to face me." he taunted.

"Oh, yeah?" Naruto taunted back. "SABERTOOTH FOX MODE!" Once he transformed into his super mode, he charged forward with a kick, only for Freezir to fire a blue beam from his cranium, freezing Naruto into his position. The monster felt rather proud of himself, until he saw Naruto twitch and literally melt the ice off of himself. 

"H-HOW?!" Freezir shouted. "I PLANNED THIS SO METICULOUSLY!"

"You didn't count on me having a Sabertooth Fox Mode." Naruto shouted. "Now let's summon our Power Weapons!" 

"Right!" the others beside Undyne said.

"SHADOW DAGGERS!"

"EARTH MACE!"

"WIND STAFF!"

"DIAMOND BOOMERANG!"

"FIRE BLADE!"

Undyne joined them. "MIGHTY SPEARS!" she shouted as each weapon struck Freezir until he fell in a massive explosion. As per the routine, the battle was not done yet: the monster immediately regrew himself into a giant.

"TIME FOR A BIG FREEZE!" Freezir shouted, enjoying his new grown state.

"WE NEED DINOZORD POWER, NOW!" Naruto said, then Ebony proceeded to summon the Velociraptor Zord. Deciding that the normal Multimegazord wasn't enough for this battle, the Rangers formed the Multivelociraptormegazord straight away. Summoning the Power Sword, the massive robot struck down Freezir one last time, finishing him for good.

Back at the Juice Bar, the Rangers sat around, relaxing after the battle. "You know, it didn't feel the same without Toby." Usagi said.
"Yeah." the others said in unison.

"Hey, I have an idea!" said Pinkie. "Why don't we make Toby a get well card?"

"Where are we gonna get the stuff needed for..." Ebony began, but then noticed Pinkie had pulled out a very large blank card, along with pencils, pens, and crayons. With a small giggle and an eye roll, she joined the others.

On the Diabolic, a now-blind Banriki, his eyes nothing more than hollow black sockets, was bowing before Queen Hedrian, who was fashioning a bust of Mirror, as well as Freezir. "I apologize for this defeat my queen." he said, his voice low.

"Why do you bow before me like a sniveling coward?" Hedrian asked, her voice calm and collected. "You have failed me, yes, though this defeat was beyond your control: it has not only resulted in Mirror's demise by your accidental hand, but also you yourself becoming permanently blind, Banriki. So I will not punish you...this time."

"Thank you, Queen Hedrian." Banriki said, managing to get a good feel of his surroundings via his other senses. "I will not disappoint you next time."

"You'd better not." said Hedrian. "I will not go easy next time." Going into her chambers (which was originally an extra room on the Diabolic), Hedrian pondered her next move. It is not wise to lose more of my forces so quickly, she thought. I will need to call in reinforcements. Activating her personal communication screen, Hedrian faced a mysterious figure, and they talked a while.

That evening, as most everyone on the Diabolic slumbered, the sound of the alarm woke everyone: "INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!"

"What?! Who dares intrude on my ship?!" Emperor Diabolica demanded, as a mysterious woman dressed in black and gold, with a headdress adorned with a curved horn on the front and one on the side stepped forward.

"I am Amazoness. I come on behalf of Queen Hedrian, so that I may lead what remains of her forces."

"You mean..." Circe and Kraky asked.

"Yes. I am the new second-in-command for the Hedrian Clan."

[4EverGreen]

Brace yourselves; because at long last, SOMEONE is going to be BETRAYED before this challenge is over, and they will NEVER see it coming! / Sniz is in the cock-pit and says: “Last time on Total Cartoon Global Cruise, we went to the country of Norway. The remaining contestants played games of chance and skill. The balloon pop, the bottle toss, and the wheel spin! Bulma TRIED to convince Zarbon to show her how to achieve a perfect spin, but Zarbon wasn’t himself that day, as he was having a fit of self-doubt, as to whether or not Bulma COULD be trusted! But when Bulma over-heard Zarbon singing a song that SHE didn’t like, Bulma decided that Zarbon had just about out-lived his USEFULNESS to her, and she would DUMP him at her FIRST convenience! But in Norway, luck just wasn’t on Dudley’s side for THAT challenge; so it ended up being Dudley, who was automatically eliminated for coming in last, for that challenge. We are now down to only eight contestants, and before THIS challenge is over, one of them is going to lose MORE than just their chance at $44.44 million! You BETTER believe it! Find out who it will be on today’s exciting challenge, of Total Cartoon (sings) Global Cruise!!!!! I wonder, how do you say that in Egyptian?” /

Instead of the usual show open; Zarbon appears in a music video that looks like it comes STRAIGHT from 1983, and Zarbon is singing STRAIGHT to Bulma, in HIS cover of a 1983 hit song! / Genre: New wave. Sub-genre: Duran Duran. Song: “Is There Something I Should Know?” Sung by: Zarbon! / Zarbon: “Please, please tell me now; please, please tell me now! Please, please, tell me now; please, please, tell me now! (Instrumental solo) I made a break, I ran out yesterday, tried to find my mountain hideaway. Maybe next year, maybe no go! I know you're watching me every minute of the day, yeah! I've seen the signs and the looks and the pictures that give your game away! There's a dream that strings the road, a broken glass for us to hold. And I cut so far before I had to say; please, please, tell me now; is there something I should know? Is there something I should say, that'll make you come my way? Do you feel the same; because you don't let it show? Oh, oh; oh; oh; people stare and cross the road from me, and jungle drums, they all clear the way for me. Can you read my mind, can you see in the snow? And fire demons all dance, when you walk through that door! Don't say you're easy on me; you're about as easy as a nuclear war! There's a dream that strings the road, with broken glass for us to hold! And I cut so far before I had to say; please, please, tell me now, is there something I should know? Is there something I should say, that'll make you come my way? Do you feel the same, because you don't let it show? (Instrumental solo) Please, please, tell me now is there (please, please, tell me now) is there something I should know? Is there (please, please, tell me now) something I should say? That'll (please, please) come my way? Tell me now, can you see? (Please, please, tell me now) what makes me blow? Can you see how much I'd die? Every time it passes by! Please, please, tell me now what it (please, please, tell me now) takes to make it show? Is there (please, please, tell me now) something I should know?” / The song fades out and the music video sequence ends. /

“Come Undone.” / The plane is in transit, and it’s so early in the morning, that the sun isn’t even up yet. The contestants are all resting, and the action shifts to the V.I.P. Lounge, where Reggie and Captain Retro are. In his sleep, Captain Retro is saying: “NO; Zarbon don’t TRUST her!!!!” And thanks to the magic of the Fairy Godparents, we get to SEE what he is referring to!!!! / In Captain Retro’s dream; Bulma is armed with ridiculously STRONG boxing gloves, and is BEATING Zarbon up to a PULP!!!! Zarbon, in EXTREME pain, cries out: “WHY; Bulma?! Why are you DOING this to me?!” Bulma sadistically laughs, and says: “A better question would be; why not?! You had SO much untapped potential, that it wasn’t even funny! It was so EASY for me to TURN that potential, into something that could BLIND you into doing my bidding FOR me! I don’t like to brag but, it was only a matter of TIME before I brought you DOWN!!!!” Zarbon screams: “NO; Bulma!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!” / And Captain Retro jolts awake by the sound of that scream, even though it was only a DREAM!!!! Reggie also wakes up because of this, as well!

Reggie asks: “What’s the matter, Captain Retro?” Captain Retro says: “Well, what I long suspected would happen, IS going to happen; the day of destiny is FINALLY upon us! Today is the day that Zarbon will lose EVERYTHING he thought he was working for; and Bulma will shatter his heart into a million pieces!” Reggie says: “That IS awful! Isn’t there anything we can do about it?” Captain Retro says: “By this point; everyone else has already tried everything they could in order to warn Zarbon about this, but Zarbon has REFUSED to let himself see the truth! He is THAT invested in the relationship that he THINKS that he has with Bulma! I’m afraid that the only thing the REST of us can do; is to stay OUT of the ensuing fall-out, and keep Bulma from trying to suspect that this is actually what we NEED for her to do!” Reggie asks: “Isn’t there another way to eliminate Zarbon, that DOESN’T involve having his heart broken?” Captain Retro says: “If Bulma wasn’t a factor, and Zarbon WASN’T in love; than yes, we might have been able to eliminate him with just a mere vote-off. But I’m afraid that the matter is now out of my hands. We cannot guide Zarbon’s destiny anymore; all we can do is guide our own.” Reggie says: “I just hope that when all is said and done, that everything turns out all right in the end!” Captain Retro says: “I do to, Reggie. I do to.” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “After all this time, I finally realize what my role in this season has been; it was to BE the spanner to Bulma Briefs’ diabolical plan! Bulma knew all the strengths and weaknesses of every OTHER contestant going into this season, but she couldn’t have known about me. I was the one factor she couldn’t have planned for; nor would she know how to deal with me. Don’t get me wrong, she has certainly tried to get rid of me; ESPECIALLY back in the Colorado challenge! But because of Anti-Timmy’s presence, he BLOCKED Zarbon’s ability to detect auras! I must admit, Anti-Timmy managed to protect me THAT time! If Anti-Timmy wasn’t around…well, let’s just say that there are times when even I can use some help to get me through a challenging day! It’s also lucky for me, that Chameleon hasn’t been SPAMMING his use of his Changing Suit; so Bulma will NOT be anticipating his usage of that once I put my plan into motion! Bulma doesn’t realize it yet, but today will be the beginning of the end, for her game-play!” / Reggie says: “Karma definitely is coming for Zarbon and Bulma; I just feel bad that Zarbon is going to be hit with a LOT of disproportionate retribution; all because BULMA feels like he should be hit with it! Of course, if Zarbon’s fall is going to be messy; one can only image how much WORSE it could be for Bulma! Personally, I’d rather not even THINK about the possibilities! As far as I’m concerned, my biggest concern is keeping myself on the good side of karma, and not jinxing myself by THINKING that I’m going to win! Every challenge I play from now on; I’m playing it like it COULD be my last, because there’s a good chance that it MIGHT!” (End Confessional)

The action shifts to the Cargo area, where Skipper has gathered the other contestants, who AREN’T Bulma or Zarbon! Suzie yawns, and she asks: “Skipper, what’s so important that you had to drag us out of bed at 4 A.M. in the morning?” Chameleon says: “I personally don’t mind. Ever since Dudley’s elimination; I haven’t been able to rest as easy without a good buddy by my side.” Skipper seriously says: “This is a VERY important matter! No matter what, we CAN’T allow either Zarbon or Bulma to WIN an immunity today!” Patrick says: “I quite agree! Either of those two, even ALONE from each other; would be a DANGEROUS threat to face in the Final Five!” Skipper says: “Which is why we must concentrate all our efforts into doing the best job we CAN in this challenge! We must dominate SO much, that Bulma and Zarbon can’t POSSIBLY match us!” Suzie says: “First off, we don’t even KNOW what this upcoming challenge is going to be yet. So how can we know if it is something we’re going to be GOOD at?!” Chameleon says: “In any case, Captain Retro is already COUNTING on me to take Zarbon down today! We can’t target BOTH of them! Besides, that will JUST make Zarbon suspicious, and we can’t AFFORD that!” Skipper thinks about it, and says: “You’ve actually got a point there! In that case, we’ll modify our plan! We simply concentrate all our efforts into getting Zarbon out today! Without her loyal dragon; Bulma will have no choice but to TRY and attack us herself! That’s what will leave her vulnerable in a future challenge!” Patrick says: “I can’t argue with THAT plan!” Suzie says: “I wouldn’t know HOW to!” The four of them simultaneously say: “To the plan!!!!” (Confessional)

Skipper smiles and says: “I’m actually proud of myself for FINALLY getting a winning strategy in place! Believe me, it’s a LOT easier to do when I have my penguin buddies AND Marlene to back me up! But thanks to this experience, I’m able to access reserves of determination that I never knew I had, and I have been able to really apply myself! I actually feel REALLY good about my chances about getting into the Final Five now! All I’ve got to do is to keep up this stride that I’m setting for myself, and NOT let myself get tripped up!” / Chameleon says: “I honestly thought that there wasn’t going to be ANY chance of me being the LAST representative from TUFF Puppy remaining in this game! But now that I am, I owe it to Dudley and Keswick to at least TRY to get into the Final Five! After everything they’ve done for me, they deserve at least THAT much! $40 million is a lot better than nothing. Besides, it would feel so AMAZING to finally prove myself to Kitty and the Chief! They are going to feel SO grateful to know that I am FINALLY on THEIR side!” / Suzie says: “Over the course of this season, I have definitely proven that I have a lot of swagger. I have also learned that it takes a lot more than swagger to win a season; you also got to have the right moves, and the right strategy to do it! Thanks to Otto, I’ve definitely learned, a LOT about good moves to use, and a good strategy to take, in order to get in the Final Five, and HOPEFULLY the Final Three! Otto, your mentoring to me is FINALLY going to PAY off!” / Patrick says: “I don’t think anybody ever suspected that I could make it THIS far! And now that I have; it’s gotten to the point where four other contestants, really have no choice BUT to let me stay on until the Final Five! With the addition of Reggie, none of us want to take on Zarbon, Bulma, or Captain Retro in the Final Five! Which is why the five of us have to be UNITED in our efforts to make sure that we are in the ideal Final Five! I just find it funny that this is the EXACT scenario, that Captain Retro SAID we would find ourselves in! Is that guy a PSYCHIC, or WHAT?!” (End Confessional)

It’s a little later in the morning, and the sun is just starting to come up. Zarbon wakes up, and he wakes Bulma up. Zarbon, unsure about himself, asks: “Bulma, are you still happy about the two of us?” Bulma charmingly says: “Of course I am. Whatever gave you the impression that I wasn’t?” Zarbon says: “It’s just that recently, it seems that there has been a lot of FRICTION between the two of us! I thought that it might have something to do with me.” Bulma seriously says: “It has NOTHING to do with you; it has EVERYTHING to do with Captain Retro! That dog is nothing but TROUBLE to our winning strategies! He NEEDS to go; TODAY!!!! And if you don’t DO something about it, then I most CERTAINLY will!” Zarbon sighs and says: “Well, I was HOPING to resolve this WITHOUT having to hurt anybody; but if that’s what it takes to get rid of Captain Retro, then I will do it for YOU, Bulma!” Bulma sweetly says: “I appreciate you FINALLY coming to your senses, Zarbon! And you need not worry about anyone else! I can personally guarantee, that once you HURT Captain Retro; I won’t ASK you to HURT anyone else!” Zarbon HUGS and kisses Bulma, and Zarbon genuinely says: “Thank you for your promise, Bulma! That’s ALL that I wanted to hear from you; the chance to play an honest game! I better go take a shower, and get ready for my day of DESTINY!!!!” (Confessional) Bulma PRETEND gags and says: “UGH!!!! I HATE those kisses of his!!!! Did he kiss his PRETEND last girlfriend like THAT?! Not that it matters much to me; I don’t WANT Zarbon to succeed ANYWAYS! He’s WAY too much of a RISK to take into the Final Five! I’m all about self-preservation, after all! And I like my chances BETTER against Captain Retro, than I do against Zarbon! Besides Captain Retro is a GOOD guy! He would NEVER hurt a pretty, INNOCENT lady, such as myself! All I have to do, is throw the best SYMPATHY act that Captain Retro has ever seen! Then I will be RID of Zarbon, quicker than you can say, ‘Easy Street’!” / Zarbon sighs, and says: “What a relief! It’s not my fault that Bulma has been feeling antsy, lately! Only Captain Retro has been causing this friction between us! I just have to hurt ONE last contestant; then I will be FREE to play an honest game until I reach the Final Three! If I’m going to finish this game on top, then I want to finish it on a HIGH note!” (End Confessional) As soon as Zarbon ENTERS the shower; Bulma PURPOSELY tears her own clothes up; puts some SCRATCH and CLAW make-up on herself to make it LOOK like she’s been hurt; and messes her own hair up for good measure! Bulma chuckles and says: “Bette Davis; eat your HEART out!” /

Bulma runs to the V.I.P. Lounge entrance, and CRYING, says: “Captain Retro, HELP me!!!! Please, HELP me!!!!” Captain Retro opens the door, and PRETENDING not to suspect anything; Captain Retro asks: “Whatever is the matter, Bulma?” Bulma sobs, and she says: “I can’t TAKE it anymore!!!! Zarbon is HURTING me!!!! He’s physically ABUSING me!!!! He says that if I don’t DO what he wants and continue to RIG the challenges for him; he’ll continue TORTURING me!!!! Please, you’ve GOT to get me OUT of this NIGHTMARE; Captain Retro!!!!” Captain Retro PRETENDS to think it over, and he says: “Gee, I’d LOVE to Bulma; but, this was your OWN decision to begin with!” Reggie says: “He’s got a POINT; Bulma! None of us FORCED you to be in a relationship with ZARBON; you know! You made your BED; now you can SLEEP it in!!!!” Bulma cries, and she says: “You MUST help this POOR woman out!!!! I’ll do ANYTHING, short of voting myself OUT!!!!” Captain Retro thinks about it, and says: “Only under ONE condition; you must solemnly promise, to NOT vote me off when this challenge is over, even if I DON’T win immunity!!!!” Bulma stops crying, and she says: “Deal! And if Zarbon says anything; DON’T listen to him! He’ll try ANYTHING to get you believe him!” Captain Retro says: “I understand, Bulma. You can count on ME to take care of things!!!!” And as Captain Retro closes the door; Bulma WIPES the make-up off of her face, puts her hair back into place, and she says: “Hook, line, and sinker! And all I got to do is NOT vote Captain Retro OFF this episode! I’ll just vote him off the NEXT time!” /

Reggie asks: “Captain Retro, why didn’t you offer to help Bulma out the moment she ASKED for help?!” Captain Retro answers: “Bulma would’ve SUSPECTED something was up if I agreed to her strategy IMMEDIATELY! I had to make it LOOK like she NEEDED to earn my help!” Reggie says: “Clever. But what if Bulma’s story WAS true?” Captain Retro says: “I highly doubt it. She’s lied for THIS long; I doubt she’d try to tell the truth. It wouldn’t serve her the way her lies have. Besides, she WANTS to make Zarbon look bad, for when she ELIMINATES him! I’m SURE it’s all a part of her scheme! Even on the off-chance that it WERE true; it’s not like Bulma doesn’t DESERVE that, even though I certainly wouldn’t WISH it on her. Bulma needs to learn that consequences have actions, and her diabolical actions are GOING to come back to HAUNT her!” Reggie says: “I quite agree. Will you need me to do anything?” Captain Retro says: “Just do the best you can in this challenge, and don’t let yourself get distracted by anything else! Chameleon and I will take care of everything else!” Reggie says: “I’m certainly glad to know that YOU are still on top of things!” (Confessional) Bulma is now in NEW clothes, and she laughs, and says: “That was the BEST performance I’ve ever PUT on this show! I should have been BORN an actress! Although, I guess I kind of WAS! But that’s NOTHING compared to the heartbreak that I’m going to PUT Zarbon through! Thankfully, I already KNOW what the challenge is going to be today! It will be the PERFECT opportunity, for not only ZARBON to be eliminated, but to make Captain Retro look bad as WELL!” / Captain Retro says: “The only reason Bulma WANTS me to fight Zarbon, is that she wants to make ME look bad in front of everyone else! Thankfully, I didn’t actually TELL her that I was going to fight Zarbon; I merely told her that I was going to take CARE of things! Loophole advantage? Me!” / Reggie asks: “How messed up does somebody have to be, to even THINK that it’s okay to LIE about somebody ABUSING them?! What does that say about Bulma’s personal past; that she would GO to these lengths to get what she wants? But Bulma has put herself on a runaway train with her actions, and she will find out MUCH too late; that she has no way of STOPPING it when she wants to!” (End Confessional) General Barracuda turns on the intercom, and announces: “Attention, fresh meat! We’re going to be performing a challenge of my own; personal design today! We will be going to the country of Egypt; to a lost crypt INSIDE of the Sphinx, in order to go through a tour; of the Crypt of your WORST nightmares! Each of you will be subject to the one thing you fear above EVERYTHING else; and you MUST conquer your fear, if you want a chance of winning today’s challenge! Only the top two contestants will share immunity today; with first place even getting the V.I.P. Lounge! Everyone else, will be at the mercy of a vote-off elimination by the end of this challenge! You have been warned! Horatio, OUT!”

Suzie nervously says: “A crypt of our worst nightmares, where we have to face our worst FEAR?! General Barracuda is JOKING; right?!” Skipper says: “I think we all know by now, that General Barracuda RARELY ever jokes around, and certainly NOT about something like this!” Patrick says: “General Barracuda certainly doesn’t want to make it EASY for us to get into the Final Five!” Chameleon says: “He just wants to make an exciting show! No matter what we end up facing, we must do our best in trying to conquer our fears! All of our eliminated friends; wherever they currently are, they are all counting on us to win this challenge for them!” Suzie says: “I just wish we had something easier; like a sing-off challenge!” Skipper says: “No such luck, today! We’ll just have to take whatever General Barracuda can dish out at us! It’s time to bring Zarbon down; or get eliminated TRYING!!!!” Patrick says: “Preferably WITHOUT the getting eliminated part!” Chameleon says: “Agreed!” (Confessional) Suzie says: “My worst nightmare; is losing my voice, and being caught LIP-SYNCING on stage!” / Chameleon says: “My worst nightmare, is having to fight my evil doppelganger!” / Patrick says: “My worst nightmare, is having to fight a bunch of spiders!” / Skipper says: “My worst nightmare? That would be losing Marlene, to Captain Retro!” / Reggie says: “My worst nightmare; having to be in an eating competition, eating UNHEALTHY nacho chips!” / Zarbon says: “My worst nightmare; is having to fight against Captain Retro!” / Bulma scoffs and says: “I’m not worried about NIGHTMARES! Dreams are just images made up by the sub-conscious brain while you are asleep! The important thing to remember, is that nightmares are ONLY as real as you THINK they are!” / Captain Retro says: “I’d rather not say what MY personal nightmare is! It’s a REAL nightmare that you have to worry about in real life, that’s all I’ll say about it. I have a feeling that before today is over, though, that I’ll have to confront what I fear the most. I just hope that I’m ready for it when the time comes.” (End Confessional) / (Commercial Break) /

After the commercials finish airing, the plane lands in the hot desert of Egypt, near the banks of the Nile River. The contestants all get out, and everyone BUT Zarbon is surprised to see Bulma FLASHING a big white smile, perfectly PLEASED with herself! Suzie asks: “What are YOU so happy about?” Bulma says: “Not that it will make any difference, but I have an UNSTOPPABLE plan, to get myself to the Final Three, and EARN my PERSONAL Clean Slate! Once I do, all anyone will know of ME, is that I am the most PERFECT person in the Universe!” Zarbon protests: “But I’m perfect TOO!!!! Aren’t I?” Reggie asks: “What exactly ARE you again?” Zarbon says: “I’m a Narcissian.” Patrick rolls his eyes, and says: “It FIGURES that you would be a NARCISSIST!” Bulma scoffs and says: “NO; he’s a NARCISSIAN!!!! There’s a DIFFERENCE, you know! And he HAPPENS to be the most PERFECT Narcissian in the UNIVERSE!!!!” Chameleon asks: “Really? How can you tell?” Sniz says: “People, there’s a time and place to debate things, and the hot desert sun of Egypt isn’t exactly the best place to do it!” Captain Retro says: “Sniz has a point; we need to know exactly how this challenge is going to work.” General Barracuda says: “And I have your answer. As I have stated, you will need to go into the crypt of the Sphinx, where you will be subjected to WHATEVER your own worst nightmare is. You will be judged based on two factors; how brave you are in FACING your own nightmare, and how FAST you can BEAT whatever your worst nightmare is! And you will be judged, according to how I feel, you personally did in the challenge! In other words, I have the FINAL word on how well you score!” Skipper sarcastically says: “Finally! A challenge that’s ACTUALLY fair to the REST of us!” Reggie asks: “Why do you ALWAYS have to talk like that?!” General Barracuda says: “And in case you were WONDERING, the Fairy Godparent interns have looked into your MINDS to see what your worst fair is! So when you encounter your personal nightmare, you must treat it as if it were REAL, and fight against it accordingly! Only two contestants will win immunity tonight! Who’s willing to be our first participant?” Zarbon confidently says: “Oh, I’ll go FIRST!!!!” Sniz says: “First isn’t always the best choice, you know!” Zarbon scoffs and says: “Like I need advice from a ferret who doesn’t even HAVE a tail!” Sniz says: “And with that, my respect for you has just dropped from a seven, to a three.”

Zarbon rolls his eyes and says: “Like I actually CARE about what YOU think!” Captain Retro says: “You should! His fate may be MORE in his hands than you THINK!!!!” Zarbon says: “I’ve never needed ANYONE else’s help in getting what I want, and I don’t intend to start NOW! Show me the entrance!” General Barracuda shows the front of a steel door at the base of the Sphinx, and the General says: “Right this way, my alien ‘friend’.” Zarbon says: “Ignoring your OBVIOUS sarcasm, I’m about to put this challenge away! I’ll see you on the other side!” And Zarbon goes in! Bulma sighs and says: “Am I glad to not be around HIM anymore!” Suzie asks: “Why would that be?” Bulma seriously says: “Listen you guys, Zarbon is NOT who you think he is! I was FORCED into an alliance with him, but I can’t be a silent party to his wicked plans ANY longer! I need to tell you ALL the secrets Zarbon has been FORCING me to keep secret from you guys.” / Zarbon goes through what looks like an ordinary crypt at first! With his sense of direction and speed, Zarbon appears to have no trouble going through it. But when Zarbon passes through a torch-lit entry-way, the scenery CHANGES to the outside, and it LOOKS like Zarbon is flying over the Grand Canyon in Arizona! Zarbon asks: “How did I get back HERE again?!” But Zarbon doesn’t get an answer to his question, as Zarbon narrowly DUCKS an oncoming shot, from an ILLUSION of Captain Retro! Zarbon says: “I don’t care whether you’re an illusion or not; you’ve been a thorn in my side for far too LONG this season!” I’m going to take care of you, ONCE and for all!” (Confessional) Zarbon says: “I consider myself a very PATIENT type of man, and I think I have been extremely tolerant of Captain Retro until now; but I need to ‘Take CARE of him,’ if I EVER hope of getting to the Final Three! If only Freeza could SEE me NOW; I think he would be pretty pleased by how FAR I have come! This is my moment of glory!” (End Confessional)

Outside of the Sphinx, Bulma says: “And that’s the full story! You all AGREE that Zarbon needs to be voted off tonight; RIGHT?!” Skipper says: “Absolutely!” Patrick says: “You got that right!” Suzie says: “No contest!” General Barracuda asks: “Who wants to go next?!” Chameleon says: “I will!” Captain Retro whispers to him: “Thank you, Chameleon! And don’t forget what you are supposed to DO, once you conquer your fear!” Chameleon says: “I won’t, sir!” Bulma asks: “What was that?” Captain Retro says: “Just giving my fellow competitor a word of encouragement!” Bulma rolls her eyes and says: “A big waste of TIME, if you ask me! Just because we’re going to be united TONIGHT in getting rid of Zarbon, doesn’t mean I’m going to be all buddy-buddy with you AFTERWARDS! I do have an IMAGE to maintain!” Reggie seriously says: “You might want to think about getting a NEW one!” Bulma says: “But you CAN’T improve on perfection!” Suzie scoffs and says: “You COULD give it a SHOT, and, PRETEND to be NICE!!!!” (Confessional) Suzie says: “Honestly? It SUCKS that we can’t vote off BOTH of them in the same episode! But it will certainly better to get rid of ONE of them, than NEITHER of them!” / Captain Retro says: “Here is where my plan goes into effect! And if my calculations are correct, Chameleon will MEET up with Zarbon RIGHT on schedule; if all goes well!” / Reggie says: “I am SO ready to be DONE with Bulma!” / Bulma seriously says: “They’re all just jealous of me; because no matter how hard they try, they’ll never be HALF the genius that I am! It is IMPOSSIBLE!!!!” (End Confessional) Chameleon enters the Sphinx, and goes down the same corridors that Zarbon went down. But when Chameleon passes through a torch-lit entry-way, Chameleon winds up BACK in Petropolis! Chameleon asks: “How did I get back home?” A familiar voice, but CLEARLY evil; cackles through the air! And Chameleon is SHOCKED, to hear his OWN voice coming from something ELSE! Chameleon thinks he’s SEEING himself, but wearing his OLD Black Changing suit, with an EVIL look in his eyes! The Evil Chameleon says: “You think you’re SO good aren’t YOU?! Becoming ‘friends’ with Keswick and Dudley! But I know the TRUTH!!!! You haven’t really changed! You’ll NEVER change who you are on the inside!” Chameleon says: “You’re WRONG! I AM good! I’ve BEEN good! I haven’t done ANYTHING evil during the entirety of this challenge! I HAVE friends now! And I’m NOT letting you take that AWAY from me!” The Evil Chameleon says: “Well, this town isn’t big enough for the two of us; one of us MUST go!” Chameleon says: “Very well, then! It’s a DUEL!!!!”

(Confessional) Chameleon says: “Here is where the big question is answered! Which side of me is stronger; the good side, or the bad side? I really hope it’s the first one!” (End Confessional) The action shifts back outside, where the other contestants are waiting. Patrick says: “Zarbon is sure taking his sweet time with HIS worst fear!” Skipper says: “He MUST have a very TOUGH one! Aliens aren’t exactly scared of things that the rest of us are scared of!” General Barracuda asks: “All right. Who will go next?” Bulma says: “I’m going to put this game away. I will be the NEXT to go!” Sniz shrugs and says: “All right; it’s your funeral…eventually!” Bulma rolls her eyes and says: “You’re forgetting one crucial detail; I PLAN on LIVING forever! And I am 29. I will ALWAYS be 29! So…good luck with THAT!!!!” And Bulma enters the Sphinx. Patrick shakes his head and says: “One MUST wonder what goes on in that HEAD of hers!” /

Bulma wastes no time in making her way through the Sphinx, but when SHE passes through the torch-lit entry-way, the scenery CHANGES into an indoor filming studio; COMPLETE with a studio audience! Goku comes up to her and says: “Welcome BACK, Bulma. You’re just in time for the special RE-UNION show!” Bulma asks: “Show? What Re-Union Show?” Goku says: “The Re-Union Show for your FIRST big-time TV show! Brainy Babe! Remember?!” Bulma gasps, and she says: “I don’t understand how ANYONE could remember my TIME from that SHOW! But if you need me to do something special; I’ll do it!” Goku says: “Sing a song! Sing a SONG!!!!” Bulma says: “All right! I’ll sing one of my favorites! A Jefferson Airplane hit song, Somebody to Love!” / Genre: Psychedelic Rock. Sub-genre: Jefferson Airplane. Song: “Somebody to Love”. Sung by: Bulma! / Bulma: “When the truth is found, to be lies! And all the joy within you dies! Don't you want somebody to love? Don't you need somebody to love? Wouldn't you love somebody to love? You better find somebody to love! Love. When the garden flowers; baby, are dead, yes! And your mind, your mind; is so full of red! Don't you want somebody to love? Don't you need somebody to love? Wouldn't you love somebody to love? You better find somebody to love! Your eyes, I say, your eyes may look like his. Yeah, but in your head, baby; I'm afraid you don't know where it is! Don't you want somebody to love? Don't you need somebody to love? Wouldn't you love somebody to love? You better find somebody to love…” Bulma looks into a giant TV monitor, and she sees that her face looks incredibly OLD and WRINKLED, her hair is gray, and she is WEARING the type of clothes she was WEARING when she was nine years old; Bulma screams: “Oh my LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” /

(Confessional) Bulma gasps in horror, and she says: “That…was the most TERRIFYING ordeal of my WHOLE life!!!! To see myself as an OLD HAG!!!! And WORST; being DRESSED in the clothes that I wore when I…I can’t EVEN SAY IT!!!! I’m going to KILL that BLONDA for BLABBING ABOUT THIS!!!! How did she find OUT?!!!” (End Confessional) Outside, General Barracuda asks: “All right! Who is going next?” Captain Retro sighs and says: “I might as well get this over with. I’ll go next!” Reggie asks: “Are you nervous?” Captain Retro says: “Obviously! But I’ve GOT to do this, no matter what! Good luck, Reggie!” Reggie says: “Yeah, you to!” And Captain Retro goes in. Captain Retro, using his powers of Aura detection, gauges the best way to go. But when HE passes through the torch-lit entryway; Captain Retro is HORRIFIED to be standing in an open field FULL of flowers…and BEES!!!! Captain Retro nervously says: “Bees…why did it HAVE to be BEES?!” (Confessional) Skipper is seen in the Confessional, looking CLEARLY unamused; but Captain Retro is HIDDEN somewhere, talking! Captain Retro says: “I’m not afraid of a lot of things; but bees? ANY type of bees; it completely MORTIFIES me to be around them! I know they’re small, but they’re also SO deadly! I can’t help it!” Skipper asks: “Are you going to be back there much LONGER?!!!” Captain Retro comes into focus and says: “All done! You know you’ve got a few loose FEATHERS in your tuxedo?!” Skipper screams: “OUT!!!!” (End Confessional) Captain Retro nervously says: “I’ve GOT to do this!” And running as FAST as he can; Captain Retro tries to pick the path with the LEAST bees, and AVOID their stingers as much as possible, but he STILL gets stung a couple of times. And every time he does; Captain Retro SCREAMS like a little girl! Captain Retro screams: “AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! AHHH!!!! AHHH!!!! AHHH!!!! AHHH!!!!”

(Confessional) Captain Retro is in the Confessional, picking bee stingers OUT of his body; and he can HEAR the camera person laughing! Captain Retro rolls his eyes and says: “VERY funny! Let’s all LAUGH at the superhero who SCREAMS like a little girl when he gets STUNG by a BEE!!!! Those freaking things HURT…like HECK!!!!” (End Confessional) Outside, General Barracuda says: “Reggie, Skipper, Patrick, and Suzie; go in there and do your best in this challenge!” And the remaining contestants all go into the Sphinx! Even though each one of them all goes down a different corridor, as soon as EACH of them pass through a torch-lit entryway, they all wind up somewhere different. Reggie winds up in Ocean Shores, California, on the busy pier. Otto comes up to her, and he says: “I signed you up for another challenging competition, Reggie!” Reggie says: “Awesome! What is it THIS time?!” Otto smiles, and he says: “Your favorite; an EATING competition! All you can EAT unhealthy NACHO chips!!!!” And Reggie looks VISABLY mortified! / Skipper winds up BACK at the New York City Zoo, only to see a fake Marlene and fake Captain Retro coldly approach him. Fake Marlene scolds him and asks: “Why did you decide to BUTT in between us?!!!” Fake Captain Retro says: “She was HAPPIER without you! NICER, kinder, friendlier! You took those positive aspects AWAY from her, Skipper! You RUINED her life!!!!” Fake Marlene and Fake Captain Retro chant: “It’s YOUR fault!!!! It’s ALL your FAULT!!!!” / Patrick winds up in a cave in Carlsbad Caverns, only to see a BUNCH of spiders all OVER the place! Patrick jumps up, and he screams: “AHHH!!!! SPIDERS!!!!” / Suzie winds up on an outdoor stage concert in Paso Robles, California. She can see that a HUGE concert has gathered for her. So Suzie decides to prepare for the show by singing scales, but she unexpectedly; HOARSELY says: “Laaa…oh no. I’ve lost my VOICE!!!!” / In all the different scenarios, all the contestants INSTANTLY hear the same thing! (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!) Sniz says: “You know the drill, so no matter where you are, or what you are doing, I want you ALL to sing a song about COMING undone! Skipper, crushed, says: “No problem! I’m practically already THERE!” / Genre: Downtempo rock. Sub-genre: Duran Duran. Song: “Come Undone”. Sung by: Cast! /

During this sequence, Zarbon is fighting a fake Captain Retro, Chameleon is fighting his evil counterpart, Bulma’s trying to close her eyes, to MAKE her haggard appearance go away; Captain Retro is RUNNING away from bees, Skipper just sits down at the feet of a fake Marlene and Captain Retro, as if BEGGING for forgiveness; Reggie FORCES herself to eat all the unhealthy nacho chips she CAN, Patrick FRANTICALLY smashes all the spiders who come after him, and Suzie is trying REALLY hard to get her voice back! / Zarbon: “Mine, immaculate dream, made breath and skin; I've been waiting for you.” Chameleon: “Signed, with a home tattoo; ‘Happy birthday to you’, was created for you.” Bulma: “Can’t forgive from falling apart, at the seams. Can’t believe you're taking my heart to pieces!” Captain Retro: “Oh, it'll take a little time, might take a little crime to come undone now! We'll try to stay blind to the hope and fear outside!” Reggie: “Hey child, stay wilder than the wind and blow me into cry!” Skipper: “Who do you need, who do you love, when you come undone?” Patrick: “Who do you need, who do you love, when you come undone?” Suzie, hoarsely: “Words, playing me déjà vu, like a radio tune, I swear I've heard before.” Zarbon: “Chill, is it something real? Or the magic I'm feeding off your fingers?!” Bulma: “Can’t forgive from falling apart at the seams. Can’t believe you're taking my heart to pieces!” Chameleon: “Lost, in a snow filled sky, we'll make it alright; to come undone now!” Captain Retro: “We'll try to stay blind, to the hope and fear outside!” Reggie: “Hey child, stay wilder than the wind, and blow me into cry!” Skipper: “Who do you need, who do you love, when you come undone?” Patrick: “Who do you need, who do you love, when you come undone?” Suzie, hoarsely: “Can’t forgive from falling apart.” Skipper: “Who do you need, who do you love, when you come undone?” Bulma: “Can’t forgive from falling apart.” Reggie: “Who do you need, who do you love?” Patrick: “Can’t forgive from falling apart.” Captain Retro: “Who do you love, when you come undone?” / And the epic song ends as Chameleon DEFEATS his evil counterpart; Captain Retro JUMPS into a pond, which brings him BACK into the torch-lit corridor; Reggie FINISHES the eating competition, and Patrick SMASHES all the spiders in the cave! Reggie says: “All right; we DID it! We’re back in the passage way!”

Patrick asks: “But where are the others?” Captain Retro tunes his aura sensing abilities, and he says: “Chameleon has completed his task. But he hasn’t returned, because of what I have ANTICIPATED; the chemical make-up of his suit ALLOWS him to transform WITH the different sequences the Fairy God-Parents have set up!” Reggie asks: “Meaning?” Captain Retro says: “Chameleon can choose to go into ANY sequence he WANTS once he completes his, and I asked him to take care of Zarbon!” Patrick asks: “And the others?” Captain Retro says: “Remember the plan? Two of us HAVE to win; and it certainly can’t be Zarbon or Bulma!” Reggie says: “I’ll go on ahead!” Captain Retro says: “And I’ll be right behind you, just because I don’t TRUST Bulma to keep her word unless she doesn’t HAVE an alternative BUT to keep it!” Patrick sighs and says: “Well, I guess I’ll just wind up in un-safe THIRD place territory, as the routine!” Reggie rolls her eyes and says: “Patrick, I think we ALL know by now that NOBODY is going to WASTE one of their votes TRYING to get rid of you!” Captain Retro says: “Exactly, Patrick! No offense, but you’re just not DANGEROUS enough!” Patrick, unsure, says: “I’m not sure whether to take that as a compliment, or as an insult! A compli-sult, if you will!” Captain Retro says: “You see THAT, Reggie?! A word that I COINED is starting to catch on!” Reggie says: “Something was bound to, sooner or later!” (Confessional) Reggie sighs and says: “PHEW!!!! I’m glad those calories I consumed didn’t stick with me! I didn’t let my fear cripple me, and now, I’m safe! I just hope my best friend Suzie, can stay safe, TO! I’m still holding out for a friendship finale!” / Captain Retro says: “Looks like good luck is on my side, thanks to good karma! I made an educated guess, and I took a lucky shot! It was a LONG shot, but I got lucky! Now I just have to hope that Chameleon is successful in HIS part of the plan!” / Patrick says: “On the one hand, I’m upset that there still ISN’T anybody who is willing to take me SERIOUSLY, even at THIS late stage in the game! On the other hand, because they don’t take me seriously, they’re not going to BOTHER wasting a VOTE on me! It’s…a complicated feeling to explain, okay?” (End Confessional)

Chameleon says: “I actually did it! I defeated my evil counterpart! So…how come I’m not going back yet? Oh…I just WISH I knew where ZARBON was!!!!” And to Chameleon’s surprise, he disappears OUT of Petropolis, and winds up at the Grand Canyon, where Zarbon is STILL fighting against the FAKE Captain Retro! Chameleon asks: “How did I wind up HERE?! It doesn’t matter, Captain Retro asked me to take care of Zarbon, so THAT is what I’m going to do! Time to CHANGE!!!!” And Chameleon transforms into the perfect LIKENESS of Captain Retro! And he does this as soon as Zarbon completely DISINTEGRATES the FAKE Captain Retro! Zarbon exclaims: “I did IT!!!! I’ve WON!!!!” And Chameleon as Captain Retro, PUNCHES him in his left EYE!!!! Zarbon irritated, says: “I am getting SICK and TIRED of people PUNCHING me in the LEFT eye!!!! How did you SURVIVE that BLAST anyways?! Oh, wait! It’s SO obvious! You’re the REAL Captain Retro! I should’ve KNOWN that YOU’D try to follow ME here! Well, I’m NOT going to let YOU get the best of ME…!” But Zarbon NEVER gets to finish his thought, because Chameleon as Captain Retro, starts throwing HARD punches and kicks left and right; hitting Zarbon as many TIMES as possible, NEVER giving Zarbon the CHANCE for a counter-attack! (Confessional) Chameleon says: “If there’s one thing I learned from my time observing OTHER bad guys, is that they are there WEAKEST and their most vulnerable when they STOP to hear themselves TALK!!!! Also, when dealing with Zarbon, you can’t let yourself STOP to give Zarbon a chance to counter-attack! You’ve got to keep up until you know for SURE that they can’t HARM anyone else ANYMORE!!!!” (End Confessional) In Bulma’s sequence, no matter HOW long or how HARD she stares at the TV monitor, her haggard face look WON’T go away! Bulma defiantly says: “This isn’t real! This ISN’T real!!!! Wait!!!! It…ISN’T REAL!!!! Do you HEAR me SNIZ?! I’m ONTO your tricks! I REFUSE this fantasy! I am STRONGER than this non-existent FEAR!!!!” And the illusion ripples away, and disappears completely! Bulma scoffs and says: “NOBODY frightens Bulma, except for Freeza, but HE’S dead! Now, it’s time for ME to MEET and finish Zarbon OFF personally! And I can, because I have the technology to ENTER Zarbon’s worst fear!” And Bulma pulls out a SUSPICIOUSLY familiar looking micro-chip!!!! (Confessional) Bulma says: “Of COURSE I framed Snaptrap! DUH!!!! I’m the one with ALL the BRAINS in this challenge! Now I’m going to use them to MY benefit!”

(End Confessional) Bulma searches the room, and finds a HIDDEN panel with a keyboard! Bulma chuckles as she puts the microchip on it! Bulma CHUCKLES as the scenery STARTS to change as it TAKES her to the Grand Canyon, where Zarbon and Chameleon as Captain Retro are FIGHTING it out! Bulma laughs, as she says: “Just like I PLANNED it! Captain Retro is playing his part PERFECTLY!!!! Now I just got to wait for Zarbon to be CRIPPLED, before I deliver the FINISHING blow!!!!” / In Skipper’s sequence, the fake Captain Retro and fake Marlene are still chanting: “It’s all your fault! It’s all YOUR fault! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!” Skipper finally screams: “Shut up, SHUT up, SHUT UP!!!!” And Skipper starts DESTROYING everything in sight! Skipper says: “You’re not going to make me feel GUILTY about MY mistakes any longer, OKAY?! I know I’ve done a LOT of wrong things in the past; but I’ve LEARNED from my mistakes as WELL!!!! And I’m NOT going to make the same mistakes with Marlene going forward in the future! I am going to BE the husband SHE deserves! And I’m going to be a GOOD father to MY children!!!!” And as soon as Skipper says this, the sequence ripples away, and completely disappears! Skipper says: “I did it! I conquered my FEAR!!!! Let’s hope I can also conquer this challenge!” (Confessional) Skipper says: “I got to give General Barracuda credit where credit is due. He REALLY made me believe that Marlene and Captain Retro were trying to play the blame game on me. But I dug in deep, and I came out on top! All the same, I hope I NEVER have to go through an ordeal like that EVER again!” (End Confessional) In Suzie’s sequence, Suzie nervously says: “I’ve got to sing something! I can’t fake it! But what can I SING?!!! Wait a minute! The only thing holding me back is my own FEAR!!!! So if I FORGET that and just focus on what I like, I can sing ANYTHING! So I might as well sing what I LIKE!!!!” / Back in Zarbon’s sequence, Zarbon is getting HORRIBLY thrashed by Chameleon as Captain Retro, as Chameleon throws hooks and uppercuts that Zarbon isn’t given a chance to BLOCK!!!! Finally, Chameleon FIRES a Kamehameha Wave at Zarbon, and shoots Zarbon DOWN into the ground! To himself, Chameleon says: “That should do it! Time to get out of here, so I can have a chance to WIN this challenge!” And Chameleon disappears. Zarbon, HORRIBLY weakened, looks around, and sees BULMA approaching him! Zarbon happily says: “You CAME for me, Bulma! I KNEW that you TRULY loved me!”

Bulma looks at him slowly, and with UTTER sincerity, she charmingly says: “Oh, Zarbon, if only somebody truly DID love you; YOU STUPID LITTLE FOOL!!!! Everyone HATES YOU!!!! Do you want to know WHY?!!! Because you’ve been busy SABOTAGING nearly every single contestant this season, HURTING some contestants JUST to get ahead, messing with the mechanics of the plane just to make two total strangers KISS each other, and bragging about some PRETEND girlfriend before I came along?! You SHOULD have been MORE discreet, Zarbon!!!!” Zarbon, shocked, says: “I…I don’t UNDERSTAND!!!! You said you CARED for me!!!! You said I was your PERFECT soul-mate!!!!” Bulma asks: “Zarbon, why would the most PERFECT woman in the universe EVER want someone like YOU, when she already HAS someone like Vegeta? Sure, he’s an egotistical PRICK; but he’s FAR more of a prick than you could EVER be! You let yourself be held back by these things called ‘morals,’ and ‘ethics.’ You NEVER went FAR enough! It’s a pity, really. You threw away a perfectly good chance at the final three by TRYING to grow a conscience! Don’t you know those type of contestants never win an HONEST challenge EVER?!!!” Zarbon yells: “I LOVED YOU!!!! I TRUSTED YOU!!!! I gave you EVERYTHING, and now I find out that you TREATED it like DIRT?!!! WHY?!!! Why did you ask me to DO these things?!” Bulma scoffs and says: “Sorry, Zarbon! You might have been the most PERFECT partner a girl could’ve asked for, but only I’M allowed to be the most PERFECT person in the universe!!!!” Zarbon defiantly says: “You’ll never get AWAY with this insidious PLOT of yours! Once I tell EVERYONE how YOU manipulated me, you’ll be eating YOUR meals through a STRAW!!!!” Bulma scoffs and says: “PLEASE!!!! I’m not some Marvel Comics Book Villain Character!!!! Do you think I would be TELLING you all this if I thought there was a CHANCE you could CONVINCE anybody?!!! I told everybody about ALL of your dirty secrets thirty minutes ago!!!!” And Zarbon looks in HORROR as Bulma puts on HUGE Boxing Gloves, and lifts Zarbon up…to BEAT the living DAYLIGHTS out of him!!!! /

Ironically, as Zarbon is getting BEAT up by Bulma, Suzie begins singing HER song, which seems to PERFECTLY fit with Zarbon’s situation!!!! / Genre: Dance pop. Sub-genre: Bananarama. Song: “I Heard a Rumor.” Sung by: Suzie Carmichael! / Suzie: “Who needs friends who never show? I'll tell you what you want to know. I could have saved a broken heart if I'd found out long ago. I'm just thinking about those lonely nights. Thinking about when I waited, when I waited for your call. Then I found out all my friends were right. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh; I didn't know you at all! I heard a rumor! Ooh, I heard a rumor. They say you got a broken heart! I heard it, I heard a rumor! Yes I did, boy, ooh, ooh, ooh! Now it seems they're telling me, you've changed your wicked ways. But should I give you a second chance? Baby, I'm too afraid! So you realize what hurt you made, and the love you threw away. How can I forgive or soon forget? Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, it's never going to be the same! I heard a rumor! Ooh, ooh, I heard a rumor. They say you got a broken heart! I heard it, I heard a rumor! Yes I did, boy ooh, ooh, ooh! I heard a rumor! Ooh, ooh, I heard a rumor. They say you got a broken heart! I heard it, I heard a rumor! Yes I did, boy ooh, ooh, ooh! WOOO!!!! (Instrumental solo) I'm just thinking about those lonely nights. Thinking about when I waited, when I waited for your call. Then I found out all my friends were right. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh; I didn't know you at all! I heard a rumor! Ooh, ooh, I heard a rumor. They say you got a broken heart! I heard it, I heard a rumor! Yes I did, boy ooh, ooh, ooh! I heard a rumor! Ooh, ooh, I heard a rumor. They say you got a broken heart! I heard it, I heard a rumor! Yes I did, boy ooh, ooh, ooh! I heard a rumor! Ooh, ooh, I heard a rumor. They say you got a broken heart! I heard it, I heard a rumor! Yes I did, boy ooh, ooh, ooh!” / And the epic song ends as Suzie disappears out of her sequence, while Bulma FINISHES beating Zarbon up! Bulma has now left Zarbon dangling OVER a cliff in the Grand Canyon.

Bulma says: “You know the only thing I TRULY regret about all this, is that you COULDN’T get rid of Captain Retro by yourself. Oh, well. I guess I’ll have to do it ALL by myself! And no matter WHAT you thought about US, Zarbon; I was ALWAYS going to LET you FALL!!!!” And Bulma hits a WEAK point in the ground with her high heel shoe, and the ground that Zarbon is on, falls THOUSANDS of feet to the Grand Canyon floor, completely CRIPPLING Zarbon! Bulma chuckles, and disappears out of the sequence, while all Zarbon can do is lie helpless as the sequence disappears around him. (Confessional) Zarbon, now completely bandaged up with the exception of his face, weakly says: “They were RIGHT!!!! They were RIGHT all along! Why didn’t I listen to them sooner?! Why; WHY?!!!” / Bulma chuckles and says: “I DID it! I actually did it! Plus, I can now make Captain Retro LOOK bad! It’s TWO for the price of ONE!!!! I’m in the Final Five for SURE, now!” / Chameleon says: “I did it! Bulma fell for the bait and switch! All we need to do now, is to put Zarbon out of his misery for GOOD!!!!” (End Confessional) The contestants start coming out of the Sphinx! Sniz says: “And we have our FIRST contestant! Reggie Rocket is in first place, and gets the V.I.P. Lounge AGAIN!!!!” Captain Retro comes out, and Sniz says: “Captain Retro is here! He also gets immunity, and the First Class section!” The other contestants follow behind them! Sniz says: “We’ve got Patrick, Skipper, Chameleon, Suzie, Bulma! Wait…where is Zarbon?!” General Barracuda panics, and says: “Uh-oh! I think we made Zarbon’s fear too TOUGH!!!!” And General Barracuda RUSHES into the Sphinx! General Barracuda comes out with a completely broken Zarbon. General Barracuda says: “Zarbon…he’s completely WRECKED!!!!” Sniz fumes, and he asks: “Who DID this heinous act?!” Bulma chuckles, and says: “Captain Retro, sir. Although he honestly only did it, because of all the HORRIBLE things Zarbon put me through, not to mention that he’s been responsible for EVERYTHING bad this season!” Captain Retro says: “Well, you’re right, and WRONG, about one thing! Zarbon MAY have CAUSED everything BAD this season; but I did NOT, fight Zarbon, as you claim!” Bulma gasps and says: “But YOU promised…!” Captain Retro finishes: “I said that I promised to take CARE of things! I didn’t tell you what that MEANT!!!!” Bulma says: “But I SAW you fight Zarbon!!!!” Chameleon asks: “Or DID you?!!!” And Chameleon TRANSFORMS into the exact likeness of Captain Retro! Bulma yells: “The old SWITCHEROO?!!!” Chameleon transforms back, and says: “Always works like a charm, back home!”

Bulma fumes, and Captain Retro asks: “What’s the matter, Bulma? Did everything NOT go according to plan, for once?” Bulma angrily says: “You MAY still look GOOD to EVERYONE here, but Zarbon is STILL going to get eliminated tonight, and you STILL can’t GET into the Final Five, so it really doesn’t MAKE much of a difference in the long run, now, DOES it?!” Fondue says: “Sniz, when the seven other contestants were out in the pyramid talking to each, other, Bulma told EVERYONE that Zarbon HAS been responsible for everything BAD this season! He should be PUNISHED for his heinous ACTS!” Sniz thinks about it and says: “Agreed. Ordinarily, I’d give Zarbon the FULL four penalty votes! But since I’m feeling generous today, I’ll only give Zarbon THREE penalty votes, and NULLIFY the vote that Zarbon would normally get!” And Zarbon gulps nervously! Skipper looks at Zarbon, and Skipper SERIOUSLY says: “Sorry, Zarbon, it looks like your days are NUMBERED!!!!” (Confessional) Reggie says: “Who am I voting for? Well, Bulma is a gigantic PAIN in the REAR!!!! But I made a promise, and I’m voting off Zarbon.” / Captain Retro says: “I’m more than capable of taking on Zarbon, but I couldn’t afford to have Bulma DANGLE any blackmail threats over me! That’s why I couldn’t engage him. Besides, it was SO priceless to see Bulma’s face, realizing that she had been out-played! And while I’d like to vote off Bulma, Zarbon IS the bigger threat! Therefore, I’m voting off Zarbon!” / Patrick says: “It’s got to be Zarbon! Unless I can figure out just WHO has been SNEAKING those extra SNACKS out of the cafeteria room!” / Anti-Timmy chuckles maliciously, as he stuffs a bunch of cafeteria food in his mouth! / Skipper says: “I owe Zarbon for what he DID to Marlene in the Las Vegas challenge! I am SO voting him OFF!!!!” / Chameleon says: “I’m going to PROVE that I’m a good guy, by voting off a BAD guy; Zarbon!” / Suzie says: “Bulma doesn’t deserve to be in this competition, but I’m voting off ZARBON before I will do anything else in this competition!” / A bandaged Zarbon, nervously says: “Bulma is BLUFFING! She HAS to be BLUFFING!!!! Everyone can’t TRULY hate me! I’ve still got a CHANCE to win this! RIGHT?!” / Bulma is SEETHING, and she says: “Captain Retro thinks he is SO clever using Chameleon in his stead! UGH!!!! It doesn’t really matter! I STILL get what I want! Zarbon will be GONE, and I will be safe! I may not GET to blackmail Captain Retro, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll STILL beat him regardless!” (End Confessional)

The plane is in transit. Sniz says: “It’s that time again! And I DON’T mean time to spin the Wheel of Morality! It’s time to vote off another contestant! Since Reggie and Captain Retro have immunity, you can’t vote for them! Everyone else, is fair game!” (Confessional) All the contestants, with the exception of Zarbon, vote off for Zarbon! Zarbon, simply sighs because he CAN’T vote for anybody! (End Confessional) Sniz says: “It’s time to reveal who gets safety, signified by these bags of popcorn. If you get a bag of popcorn, you are safe. If you’re not, you have to take the drop of shame; NO exceptions! Reggie Rocket! Captain Retro! Patrick, Chameleon, Suzie, Bulma!” Skipper LEERS at Zarbon, and for the first time in his LIFE, Zarbon is PARALYZED with fear!!!! Sniz sighs, and he says: “Well, I never thought I would HEAR myself saying this, but the next contestant taking the drop of shame is, ZARBON!!!!!” Zarbon screams: “NOOO!!!!!” Bulma shouts: “YES!!!!! But of course, I KNEW you would lose!” Sniz says: “Time to go!” Zarbon scoffs and says: “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a little incapacitated at the MOMENT!” General Barracuda GRABS Zarbon, and the General chuckles! General Barracuda says: “Don’t worry, I’ll ESCORT you OUT!!!!” And General Barracuda GIVES Zarbon a parachute, THEN the General literally BOOTS Zarbon OUT of the plane! General Barracuda sighs and says: “I wanted to do that ALL season long!” Sniz says: “And the godly, handsome guy is now OUT of the competition! With Zarbon gone, are there ANY contestants WORTHY of WINNING the $44.44 million now? We shall see! Until next time, we will wait to see you on another exciting episode, of Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” /

Epilogue: Zarbon is now in the hospital, lying in bed, while a familiar song plays in his head, while Zarbon thinks about his former relationship with Bulma, with a NEW perspective! / Genre: Hard Rock. Sub-genre: Bon Jovi. Song: “You Give Love a Bad Name.” Sung by: Zarbon, via voice-over. /

Zarbon: “Shot through the heart, and you're to blame! Darling, you give love a bad name! (Guitar intro) An angel's smile is what you sell, you promised me heaven, then put me through Hell! Chains of love, got a hold on me! When passion's a prison, you can't break free! Oh, oh, you're a loaded gun; yeah! Oh, oh, there's nowhere to run! No one can save me, the damage is done! Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, you give love a bad name! Bad name! I played my part, and you played your game, you give love a bad name. Bad name! You give love a bad name! (Guitar break) Paint your smile, on your lips. Blood red nails on your fingertips! A school boy's dream, you act so shy. Your very first kiss, was your first kiss goodbye. Oh, oh, you're a loaded gun! Oh, oh, there's nowhere to run! No one can save me, the damage is done! Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, you give love a bad name! Bad name! I played my part, and you played your game! You give love a bad name! Bad name! You give love...ah! (Guitar solo) Oh! Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, you give love a bad name! I played my part, and you played your game, you give love a bad name! Bad name! Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, you give love a bad name! Bad name! I played my part, and you played your game, you give love a bad name! Bad name! Whoa! You give love; you give love a bad name! You give love, whoa; you give love, a bad name! You give love; whoa, you give love a bad name! Whoa, you give love; you give love a bad name!” / And the epic song ends! /

Episode Notes: Featured songs in this episode, “Is There Something I Should Know? Somebody to Love (incomplete due to Bulma freaking out); I Heard a Rumor; You Give Love a Bad Name;” and “Come Undone,” the last song ALSO the name of this episode title! With this episode, EVERYONE finds out that, APPARENTLY, Zarbon has been responsible for EVERYTHING bad happening this season! Even though Captain Retro already knows the ACTUAL truth that BULMA is responsible! Bulma FINALLY ends her ‘show-mance’ with Zarbon, BREAKING his heart, AND her alliance with him! With Zarbon’s elimination, Bulma is now the ONLY representative from “Dragonball Z Kai” left in this competition.

Personal Notes: Believe it or not, I originally never had any intention of Bulma GETTING this far! She had no real athletic skills to speak of, and Zarbon was an OBVIOUS candidate to represent Alejandro for my version of “Total Cartoon Global Cruise.” But as I began writing this season, it became painfully OBVIOUS to me, that I shouldn’t try to COPY “Total Drama World Tour,” even though I COULD! I had to make it more ORIGINAL!!!! So throughout the season, I put out red herrings, dropped subtle hints, in order to keep readers guessing who the big bad of this season WAS! Eventually though, I had to admit that BULMA made the most LOGICAL choice for a villain! She had the BRAINS, the determination to GET far, and a REASON to win! (Even if it IS a selfish reason!) Not only that, but every time I WRITE Bulma, I end up coming up with the FUNNIEST words to come out of a person’s MOUTH!!!! Of course, the biggest reason for Bulma BETRAYING Zarbon; is to let the audience know that even if Bulma had NOT crossed the Moral Event Horizon for a character BEFORE, she definitely CROSSED it here; by revealing the truth to Zarbon, and breaking his heart to pieces! Of course, doing something like that, can only spell TROUBLE for Bulma in the future! / That’s my episode idea for today!  Enough said, true believers!

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Hot Blooded!

 

It is the afternoon, and on the school-yard of the Coastal Falls Academy, a bunch of athletes are playing soccer against a rival High school team; including Toby, Lettuce, Pinkie, Usagi, Naruto, Bash, Smash and BlackHawk. Ebony and D.O.G. are watching from the bleachers! D.O.G. says: “Go BlackHawk! I want to see you score some GOALS!!!!”

 

Ebony sighs, and says: “This is fun, I guess. I’d rather this school offer Quidditch, the way that Hogwarts does. At least THEN, someone might be at the risk of being severely HOSPITALIZED!”

 

D.O.G. says: “You have a WEIRD sense of entertainment, Ebony.”

 

Ebony says: “Look who’s talking! You can be entertained with just a stick, for HOURS at a time!”

 

D.O.G. says: “Fair enough!”

 

Pinkie says: “Pass it to me!”

 

But BlackHawk just scores a goal! The playing resumes, and BlackHawk soon gets the ball. Toby says: “Pass it to me, BlackHawk!”

 

But BlackHawk just scores a goal AGAIN! Lettuce manages to get the ball once playing resumes, and Lettuce says: “I’m going to get the goal THIS time!”

 

But BlackHawk TAKES the ball, and scores a goal AGAIN! D.O.G. rolls his eyes, and says: “BlackHawk is SUCH a glory hog!”

 

Ebony smiles, and she says: “That’s what I love about him, he knows how to get things, done!”

 

D.O.G. says: “Maybe, but he’s NOT being a team player!”

 

Usagi gets the ball once playing resumes, but she sees that her path to the goal is blocked, so she NEEDS to pass! Usagi says: “Heads up, Naruto!” And Usagi kicks the ball!

 

Naruto says: “I’ve got it!”

 

But BlackHawk takes the ball, and scores the FINAL goal of the game! Sans, who is doing the job of the soccer coach/announcer today, announces: “And it’s all over! Coastal Falls BEATS Stone Canyon 32-17!”

 

BlackHawk picks up the M.V.P. Trophy RESERVED for the best player, and he raises his hands, expecting a BUNCH of high fives, and he says: “All right! I won another AWARD!!!! Who’s got the Gatorade?!!!”

 

But his friends look CLEARLY unamused! BlackHawk asks: “Why are YOU looking so mopey, guys? We WON the game!”

 

Bash says: “But YOU scored most of the goals! We BARELY got a chance to PLAY!”

 

Smash says: “Exactly! Just because you’re the BEST soccer player, doesn’t mean you HAVE to be a lousy team-mate!”

 

BlackHawk scoffs, and asks: “Did I miss a MEMO or something?! I thought the goal of this GAME was to WIN!!!! What does it MATTER, who does the scoring?!”

 

Pinkie says: “It kind of matters to us, BlackHawk.”

 

Toby says: “Exactly. A game is only as much fun if ALL of us get a chance to play!”

 

Lettuce says: “And it’s pretty hard to do that when YOU do most of the playing!”

 

BlackHawk asks: “Is THAT what all you guys think?!”

 

Usagi answers: “Yes, that IS what we all think!”

 

And everybody EXCEPT BlackHawk, Naruto, and D.O.G. leave the field. Naruto goes up to BlackHawk, and Naruto says: “You know, there IS a reason why I didn’t even BOTHER trying to call you the LAST time we had an important mission; you DON’T appreciate the strengths of others!”

 

BlackHawk asks: “Like YOU’RE Mr. Sharing and Caring?! You’re JUST as obsessed with training as I am!”

 

Naruto says: “At least I care! At least I’m TRYING! What have YOU ever done?!”

 

BlackHawk says: “I’m letting D.O.G. live with me, free room and board, and all I ask in return is his loyal companionship! Isn’t THAT sharing and caring?!”

 

Naruto says: “Maybe. But you’ve got a LONG way to go before you’re anywhere CLOSE to being an ideal team-mate for us!” And Naruto leaves the field.

 

D.O.G. says: “Your friends ALL do have a point, you know!”

 

BlackHawk groans, and he says: “Fine! I have a LITTLE problem! I know! But whenever I get into one of these types of situation, I get into the zone! It’s like an addiction! I need a little practice, that’s all!”

 

D.O.G. asks: “The question is, are you ever going to get it?”

 

BlackHawk says: “I don’t know. Now let’s go home. I’m going to polish all of my trophies, naked!”

 

D.O.G. asks: “AGAIN?!!!” /

 

On Emperor Diabolica’s ship, Circe and Kraky are busy WORKING on Banriki! Banriki says: “Careful with those tools, they are SHARP!!!!”

 

Kraky says: “Just be PATIENT, sir! We are almost done with you!”

 

And the two of them back up, and Circe says: “VOILA!!!! Your sight has been restored!”

 

A mirror is held up to his face, and Banriki asks: “Why am I wearing a pair of cheap sun-glasses?!”

 

Kraky says: “They may LOOK like sun-glasses; but they are a special brand of Tauran technology! Not only do they allow you to see NORMALLY; but they ALSO heighten your powers of sight IMMENSELY! Now you can see in infrared, ultra-violet, x-rays, digital, abstract, mosaic, pointillism, and practically ANY field of vision you can think of!”

 

Queen Hedrian says: “That’s all well and fine, but we need to focus on more important matters! I need to send a monster to Core Earth, in order to AVENGE the losses of all my fallen comrades! I owe those Rangers, NOT just from taking the Orange Ruby AWAY from me; but for destroying more than HALF of my loyal monster squad!”

 

Baphomet says: “Drako is cooking up something right now; you WON’T be disappointed!”

 

Drako says: “Exactly, my majesties! I have decided to combine the blood of a Blood-Beast, with one of Queen Hedrian’s remaining Eggs. It will be a monster that is half Blood Beast, half Hedrian Clan Monster! And the best part of it is, this monster will be composed of lava and magma! Hot to the touch, with the deadly skills to match! And being as hot as he is, the Rangers won’t be able to TOUCH this monster, let alone, defeat him!”

 

Vipera scoffs and says: “Finally! A REAL plan!”

 

Emperor Diabolica says: “IGNORE HER!!!!”

 

Drako says: “Will do, sir! And just in case this new creation isn’t enough, I have taken the liberty of combining some of our Imps, with some of Queen Hedrian’s Dusters, in order to create a brand new breed of Imp Dusters! Their combined strength will make it IMPOSSIBLE for the Power Rangers to win the battle THIS time!”

 

Amazoness appears, and she says: “Let’s hope so! Queen Hedrian only has nine eggs LEFT!!!!”

 

Emperor Diabolica threateningly says: “One more crass remark like that; and I’m going to take that sword of yours, and shove it SO far up your butt, you will have a sword for a MOUTH!!!!”

 

Vipera whines, and she says: “You NEVER let ANYBODY have any FUN around here!”

 

Drako says: “All done! Time for this little BEAUTY to hatch!”

 

And the egg hatches in a BLAZE of fire! A strong, lava-hardened monster appears, and he says: “I am Magmanificent! I am ready to DESTROY those Rangers for you!”

 

Queen Hedrian smiles, and she says: “Good! Take this army of Imp Dusters, and bring me back BlackHawk and the Orange Ruby! Destroy all the OTHER Power Rangers first, but I want to deal with BlackHawk PERSONALLY, for all the TROUBLE he has put me through! NOBODY makes the youngest daughter of Master VILE look like a FOOL!!!! And I’ll let you rule over BlackHawk’s home town of Neo Chicago if you’re successful! Take special care of that Orange Ruby! I want it MOST of all!”

 

Magmanificent eagerly says: “Will do, my majesty!”

 

And he, and the Imp Dusters disappear in a flaming hot fire BALL!!!! Baphomet sighs, and he says: “I REALLY hope the monster is successful THIS time! We can’t afford to have another plan go down in FLAMES!!!! No offense, Queen Hedrian!”

 

Queen Hedrian rolls her eyes, and she says: “Everybody is a CRITIC!!!!” /

 

True to his word; BlackHawk is in his room, polishing his MANY golden trophies, naked! D.O.G. asks: “If I may ask you something; why are you doing this?”

 

BlackHawk says: “It puts my mind at ease. Thinking about all the times I helped Yin, Yang, Dave, my younger brother Coop, and all the other Woo Foo Warriors in those battles against Ferocitus, Smoke, Ella Mental, and Indestructi-Bob. Besides; my Woo Foo Master Panda, Master Yo? He doesn’t wear any clothes at ALL!!!!”

 

D.O.G. says: “I can see where you get it from!” (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!)

 

BlackHawk sighs and says: “Fun-time is over! Time to suit up for another mission!”

 

D.O.G. says: “I highly agree!”

 

And BlackHawk puts on a brand-new pair of Orange PANTS; as well as a brand new Orange Shirt. BlackHawk activates his communicator watch, and he asks: “What’s up?”

 

Omnus says: “Your presence is required at the Command Center, immediately! The other Rangers are already on their way!”

 

BlackHawk says: “We’re on our way!”

 

D.O.G. asks: “We?”

 

BlackHawk says: “Of course! You can smell out the weaknesses of monsters, and you can sense how strong a monster is!”

 

D.O.G. happily says: “I think you’re making progress already!”

 

BlackHawk says: “I’m a work in progress. Now let’s go!”

 

And the two of them teleport to the Command Center! /

 

BlackHawk, D.O.G., and the other Rangers arrive at the Command Center. Pinkie asks: “What’s the situation this time?”

 

Alpha Eight says: “Aye-yai-yai-yai-yai! It is a completely SERIOUS predicament! Take a look at the Viewing Globe!”

 

The Rangers do so, and they see a brand new lava monster, as well as what APPEAR to be Imps combined with Dusters! Toby asks: “What are those THINGS?!”

 

Omnus says: “The monster is called Magmanificent, and those THINGS are a special breed of Imp Dusters, created by Drako!”

 

Lettuce says: “I thought Imps and Dusters were bad enough on their own, but they look even WORSE when COMBINED together!”

 

Omnus says: “As you can see, Magmanificent is made of lava. Any attempt to physically fight him is HIGHLY unadvisable! He is hot to the touch, and his fire-based powers are even more deadly than usual! This is a Blood Beast COMBINED with a Hedrian Clan Monster!”

 

Usagi says: “That does sound bad! That means the monster will be TWICE as strong as usual!”

 

Alpha Eight says: “Precisely! Which means the Rangers will need a way of BEATING these stronger than usual bad guys!”

 

D.O.G. answers: “What’s our strategy this time?”

 

Omnus says: “Fortunately, I know of a specific brand of weapon that can easily DEFEAT these monsters, but getting these weapons will require a bit of a difficult endeavor.”

 

Ebony asks: “Why is that?”

 

Omnus says: “The Thunderslingers; a weapon once used by the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers themselves; can defeat the Imp Dusters AND Magmanificent. However, they were lost in history due to Master Vile’s time manipulation in 1996. Therefore two of you Rangers will need to go back to the year of 1995, BEFORE Master Vile manipulated time; in order to retrieve the Thunderslingers!”

 

BlackHawk asks: “But which two of us should go?”

 

Omnus says: “I have thought carefully about this. BlackHawk, Naruto, the two of you are the STRONGEST Rangers on this team. Therefore, you two shall be the ones to go back in time!”

 

Naruto shouts: “Are you crazy?! You know how stubborn and crazy BlackHawk can get! He doesn’t work WELL with others!”

 

BlackHawk says: “I can SO work well with others; IF you ever gave me a CHANCE to!”

 

Omnus says: “The two of you will have to put your differences aside. While Rita Repulsa may be the LESS evil sister between Queen Hedrian and herself, Rita Repulsa could be QUITE the headache, if you pardon the expression, back in the day; especially when teamed up with Lord Zedd!”

 

Pinkie asks: “But how WILL they go back in time?”

 

Omnus says: “The Simulation Planet will act as the gate-way between now, and 1995.”

 

Alpha Eight says: “When you arrive in 1995, you’ll arrive in the Command Center at that time, conveniently located in the mountains above Angel Grove, California.”

 

Toby asks: “But won’t Zordon question why two Rangers from the future have appeared in 1995?”

 

Omnus says: “He probably will. But whatever the two of you do, you must NOT mention the fact that his descendant; namely me, is now mentoring these future Rangers. It might cause him to freak out! Also, when you go back to 1995, you will meet Billy, Tommy, and Adam. They are Legendary Rangers, and you will be meeting them again when the time comes for you to team up with the other remaining Legendary Rangers! Also, one last thing; when you’re in 1995, don’t bring up the fact that Billy is GAY to the other Power Rangers! The 1990’s weren’t exactly the best TIME for gay people! I’m just saying, things are a lot cooler, now!”

 

Alpha Eight says: “The two of you will have to stay morphed when you’re back in 1995. Zordon and Alpha V can’t know of your true identities in 1995.”

 

Lettuce asks: “But how will Zordon and Alpha V know that the two of them are telling the truth?”

 

Omnus says: “Just mention the fact that Rita Repulsa’s more EVIL sister, Queen Hedrian, is causing trouble in the future! Zordon will take care of the rest.”

 

Naruto says: “Will do. The rest of you, go to the abandoned Rock Quarry where Magmanificent and the Imp Dusters are, and buy us the time we need to get the Thunderslingers. Try to take out the Imp Dusters, but don’t physically engage Magmanificent unless you absolutely HAVE to!”

 

Usagi says: “Will do, Naruto!”

 

Ebony says: “It’s MORPHING time!” /

 

BlackHawk says: “Spinosaurus!” / Ebony says: “Velociraptor!” / Toby says: “Stegosaurus!” / Pinkie says: “Ankylosaurus!” / Lettuce says: “Triceratops!” / Usagi says: “Hadrosaurus!” / Naruto says: “Tyrannosaurus!” / The Morphed Rangers simultaneously say: “Power Rangers!” /

 

D.O.G. says: “Good luck, you two!”

 

BlackHawk says: “Will do, D.O.G., and do your best to keep the other Rangers safe!”

 

D.O.G. says: “I will, BlackHawk!”

 

Naruto says: “Into the Simulation Planet!”

 

Naruto and BlackHawk enter the Simulation Planet; and with a surge of electrical energy, the two of them find themselves HURLING back in time to 1995! /

 

In the Angel Grove Command Center of 1995, it is a seemingly uneventful day for Zordon and Alpha V. Zordon says: “It’s feeling unusually quiet today. Don’t you think so, Alpha?”

 

Alpha V says: “Of course I do! It’s bad enough that Lord Zedd and Rita Repulsa have now MARRIED together, but the Power Rangers are STILL on vacation in Australia! I don’t like leaving Angel Grove vulnerable to anybody like Scorpina!”

 

Zordon says: “Neither do I. But with my psychic powers of foresight, I have a feeling things are going to turn out…”

 

And a white glow appears in the Command Center, and Alpha V asks: “All right?”

 

And the morphed Naruto and BlackHawk land in the Command Center! Alpha V says: “Two RANGERS!!”

 

Zordon says: “But they are not Rangers that I am familiar with! Who are you two?”

 

Naruto says: “We can’t tell you that.”

 

Zordon asks: “Well, where do you come from?”

 

BlackHawk says: “We can’t exactly tell you that, either. All we can tell you is that we come from sometime in the future.”

 

Zordon asks: “So why have you come here?”

 

Naruto says: “Rita Repulsa’s more EVIL, younger sister, Queen Hedrian, is causing us a lot of problems in the future!”

 

Zordon asks: “Queen Hedrian has been FREED?!”

 

BlackHawk says: “You KNOW about her?!”

 

Zordon says: “Queen Hedrian is a MONSTER compared to Rita Repulsa! If I don’t help you, your future will be in jeopardy, and I don’t mean the game show! What kind of help do you need?”

 

Naruto says: “We’ve come for the Thunderslingers used by the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers themselves. Master Vile will cause them to vanish from history in a year’s time due to time manipulation if we don’t get them.”

 

Alpha V says: “Well, you might say we HAVE the Thunderslingers; you might say we don’t!”

 

Zordon says: “I have sealed the Thunderslingers in a pocket dimension, along with Titanus, due to Titanus being incompatible with the Thunderzords. If you are to retrieve the Thunderslingers, you must brave the attacks of Titanus, in order to retrieve the Thunderslingers. Titanus is good, but he can still be dangerous around unfamiliar Rangers! However, since you are indeed Power Rangers, I have a feeling that if anyone can pass the test of Titanus, it is you two.”

 

BlackHawk says: “We’ll do our best, Zordon.”

 

Alpha V says: “I’m setting up the teleportation system now. It will take you to within the radius of the Thunderslingers, so getting there won’t be any problem. Getting the Thunderslingers? That’s another matter entirely!”

 

Naruto says: “You let us worry about Titanus; we’ll work on getting the Thunderslingers!”

 

Zordon says: “Very well, you two. And may the power protect you!”

 

BlackHawk says: “Will do, Zordon!” And the two of them teleport out of the Command Center!

 

Alpha V says: “Oh, Zordon! I really DO think you should have TOLD them about how you KNOW who those two really are!”

 

Zordon says: “Trust me, Alpha. It’s important that they don’t KNOW that I know! This is a test that the two of them MUST pass together, in order to help them become better Rangers!”

 

Alpha V says: “Oh, I do hope Rita and Zedd aren’t in a WORLD conquering mood today!” /

 

But in Lord Zedd’s Moon Castle on the Moon, Lord Zedd is gazing DOWN on the Earth, and is viewing something with disgust! Lord Zedd yells: “RITA!!!! There are two unfamiliar Rangers that have appeared in that Pocket Dimension that Zordon set up! They’re heading for the Thunderslingers!”

 

Rita yells: “I HATE those things! Those weapons made mince-meat out of my Super Putties!”

 

Goldar says: “We must stop these strangers from getting those Thunderslingers!”

 

Baboo asks: “What do you think, Squatt?”

 

Squatt smells, and he says: “I smell the scent of Queen Hedrian surrounding those Rangers!”

 

Rita yells: “But my younger sister got BEATEN in a battle with those meddling twerps, the Power Rangers Digital Squadron! What gives?!”

 

Goldar says: “Queen Hedrian must have been freed by somebody in the future!”

 

Lord Zedd growls, and he says: “I HATE that irritating sister of yours!”

 

Rita Repulsa angrily says: “Me worse than YOU!!!! The only thing I’m GLAD about, is that she changed her last name when she MARRIED that Demon King, Banriki!”

 

Lord Zedd angrily says: “We must STOP these strange Rangers from getting those Thunderslingers!”

 

Finster asks: “Should I make up a monster for you in my monster-matic?”

 

Lord Zedd angrily yells: “NO!!!! Over the last THREE days, you’ve sent out a pirate, a bird cage monster, AND a telephone monster; all of which got BEATEN in a grand total of FIVE minutes! We need someone those Power Rangers can NEVER beat! Scorpina!!!!”

 

Scorpina appears, and she chuckles: “You called, my masters?”

 

Rita Repulsa says: “Two strange Rangers have appeared in that Pocket Dimension that Zordon has set up! You must stop them from getting those Thunderslingers!”

 

Scorpina chuckles, and she says: “You can count on me, to do this dirty deed!”

 

Lord Zedd angrily says: “We BETTER be able to count on you! Either you DESTROY those Power Rangers, or don’t you DARE come back! I will not TOLERATE failures around this castle!”

 

Scorpina seriously says: “I would give up my life before I let the two of you down. I have no plans of FAILING the two of you!” And Scorpina disappears.

 

Lord Zedd asks: “So, Rita, have you given any thoughts as to WHEN you want to have a kid with me?”

 

Rita seriously says: “Let’s wait until at least my DAD finds out about us! And IF we have a son together, we will name him Thrax!”

 

Goldar says: “I would fight for someone named Thrax!”

 

Finster shakes his head and says: “I think it’s a pity that Scorpina may be throwing her life away! But at LEAST I’ve got a VALUABLE asset on MY side!”

 

Finster PLUCKS a hair off of his head, and he says: “With my latest magic ritual, I will create a monster maker for a NEW generation! One based with the D.N.A. of those dreaded Taurans, and my own genius D.N.A., from ME!!!! Drako, it is TIME for you to be born!!!!”

 

And a tiny little baby, who looks like an infant version of Drako, appears in a basket on the floor! Finster chuckles and he says: “I think I’ve really outdone myself, this time! Perhaps someday, I will teach my son how to be nice and good, if for no other reason but so he can appeal to the more generous aspects of the Power Rangers, just in case things go south!” /

 

BlackHawk and Naruto appear in a canyon area, just outside of Angel Grove. Naruto asks: “Are you ready for this BlackHawk?”

 

BlackHawk answers: “As ready as I’ll ever be!”

 

Naruto points to a hill, where a familiar looking box is resting! Naruto says: “Look! The Thunderslingers are RIGHT there!”

 

BlackHawk says: “This could be easier than we thought!”

 

But as soon as he says that, TITANUS appears, and starts FIRING at the two Rangers, causing them to flip backwards in TRUE Power Ranger fashion! Naruto says: “HIDE!!!!”

 

And the two of them DUCK behind an outcrop of rocks! BlackHawk says: “We’re lucky Titanus is on the side of good! Imagine if he was a tool for EVIL!”

 

Naruto says: “I think one of us is going to need to distract Titanus, in order for one of us to get the Thunderslingers.”

 

BlackHawk says: “I’m better with a sword than you. I’ll stay and draw the fire of Titanus! But I can’t let you go after Titanus unprotected! Take my shield! Shield TRANSFER!!!!”

 

And the golden shield on BlackHawk’s Ranger armor gets transferred to Naruto! Naruto says: “That’s a handy trick!”

 

BlackHawk pulls out an orange sabre, and takes Naruto’s flame sword! BlackHawk says: “Just let me worry about holding off Titanus! You get the Thunderslingers as fast as you can!”

 

Naruto says: “Will do, BlackHawk!”

 

BlackHawk jumps out, and says: “Hey, big guy! Come and hit me, if you CAN!!!!”

 

And Titanus begins firing at BlackHawk, only for BlackHawk to BLOCK his attacks every single time, while Naruto QUICKLY scrambles for the Thunderslingers! Naruto begins climbing up the hill, and Naruto says: “I’m going to make it!”

 

But Titanus turns away from BlackHawk, and faces Naruto! BlackHawk says: “Naruto, look out!”

 

Titanus FIRES at Naruto, but BlackHawk’s golden shield causes the attack to HARMLESSLY bounce off! BlackHawk says: “Titanus, pay attention to ME!!!!”

 

And BlackHawk shoots electricity and FIRE at Titanus, causing Titanus to face BlackHawk again! Naruto says: “I’ll get the Thunderslingers THIS time!”

 

And sure enough, Naruto gets to the top of the hill, and picks up the Thunderslinger box! Naruto looks inside, and puzzled, activates his communicator, and asks: “Zordon, why do the Thunderslingers say, ‘Zyuranger’ on the side?”

 

Zordon says: “Ignore it! That will just disappear when you get to your own time!”

 

Naruto sighs and says: “Fine! BlackHawk, disengage! We can go back to our own time, now!”

 

But an unfamiliar enemy SHOOTS at Titanus, and Scorpina says: “Not so fast, you strangers!”

 

BlackHawk says: “I know who YOU are! You’re Scorpina!”

 

Scorpina says: “I’m flattered that you’ve HEARD of me! But hearing of me is ALL you will do! I’m going to DESTROY you, and make Rita’s wish to conquer Earth come TRUE!”

 

Naruto seriously says: “That will NEVER happen! Even if you had 200 YEARS to do it!”

 

Scorpina says: “Z-Putties, ATTACK!!!!”

 

And clay-based goons, with the letter ‘Z’, surround Scorpina! BlackHawk says: “It’s the Z-puttie squad! I know how to beat these guys! Do you know how, Naruto?!”

 

Naruto smiles and says: “Aim for the ‘Z’!”

 

BlackHawk says: “Let’s get these creeps!”

 

BlackHawk throws the Flame Sword back to Naruto, BlackHawk gets his golden shield back, and the two Rangers begin fighting the ‘Z’ Puttie squad! /

 

Back in the present, the other Rangers are engaged in a physical battle with the Imp Dusters, while Magmanificent throws out fire balls, trying to HIT the Rangers! Ebony says: “Stupid creep, fight FAIR!”

 

Toby says: “Queen Hedrian’s creeps NEVER fight fair!”

 

D.O.G. says: “Stay DOWN, Imp Dusters!”

 

And D.O.G. barks mightily, and his sonic bark BLOWS the Imp Dusters down, but they get RIGHT back up! D.O.G. says: “That didn’t do it!”

 

Lettuce says: “We’ll just have to keep on trying!”

 

Pinkie says: “Let’s use our Power weapons! That might do it!”

 

Usagi takes out her Wind Staff, and says: “Let’s do it!”

 

And the Rangers carry on in their fight against the Imp Dusters! /

 

Meanwhile, in 1995 Australia, Tommy exits a shop with a BUNCH of perfume and jewelry in boxes! Billy asks: “What are you doing, Tommy?”

 

Tommy brags: “Merely getting a bunch of gifts for my GIRLFRIEND! You know how WONDERFUL it is to have a GIRLFRIEND, Billy?! There’s nothing else LIKE having a nice GIRLFRIEND, Billy!”

 

Adam rolls his eyes and says: “Come on, Tommy. Cut it out!”

 

Tommy says: “Can’t cut it out! It will grow right back!”

 

(Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!)

 

Billy asks: “I wonder what it could be THIS time?” Billy answers the communicator and answers: “What is it, Zordon?”

 

Zordon answers, and says: “Rangers, Scorpina and some Z-Putties are attacking Titanus and two fellow Power Rangers! The three of you must come in and help them immediately”

 

Adam says: “We’re on our way!”

 

Tommy asks: “But what about all this STUFF that I’ve got to give to Kimberly?!”

 

Tommy looks around, and sees Bulk and Skull, Tommy says: “Can you guys do a favor for me?!”

 

Bulk says: “Depends. What kind of favor are you asking?”

 

Tommy hands his swag to Bulk and Skull, and Tommy says: “Give this stuff to Kimberly! I’d do it myself, but I’ve got to run back to my motel room! I forgot something there!”

 

Skull says: “No problem! Just get us autographed pictures of the actual Power Rangers, and we’ll do it!”

 

Adam sighs, and says: “We’ll do our best for you!”

 

Bulk says: “I told you luck would turn our way! Soon, we’ll know EXACTLY who the Power Rangers are!”

 

Billy facetiously nods his head and says: “Right. You just keep telling YOURSELVES, that!”

 

Tommy says: “Come on, you two! I need you to help me!”

 

And the three of them leave, and Skull asks: “Hey! Where are all THREE of you going?!”

 

But they don’t get any answer from them, and Kimberly soon comes up to them, and gasps: “WOW!!!! Look at all these pretty things! Skull, did you BUY all this STUFF for me?!”

 

Skull says: “Well, it IS for you! But…”

 

Kimberly says: “Wow! That is the NICEST thing anyone has ever DONE for me! Even TOMMY never does anything THAT nice for me! Want to go out on a date with me?!”

 

Skull, forgetting himself, romantically says: “SURE, Kimberly!”

 

Bulk asks: “But what about Tommy?”

 

Kimberly seriously asks: “What about him? Come bring the stuff to my motel room, then you can tell me a little bit more about yourself!”

 

Skull romantically says: “SURE, Kimberly!”

 

And the two of them head off, and Bulk says: “Somehow, I’m SURE this is some brand of karma for Tommy, CALLING Billy ‘Gay’ all the time!” And Bulk follows Skull and Kimberly! /

 

When Billy, Tommy, and Adam are alone, Adam says: “Let’s do it, guys! It’s MORPHING Time!” /

 

Tommy says: “Tigerzord!” / Adam says: “Mastodon!” / Billy says: “Triceratops!” /

 

And the three Power Rangers appear in the canyon, and Billy says: “Morphenominal! An ORANGE Ranger, and another Red Ranger!”

 

Naruto says: “How cool! Three Legendary Rangers!”

 

Tommy says: “We’ve stopped Rita and Zedd like one HUNDRED times, but I wouldn’t call us Legendary by any means!”

 

Adam says: “Especially in my case! I haven’t been around as LONG as you two!”

 

BlackHawk says: “Don’t worry, you’ll become legends for ALL the right reasons!”

 

Billy asks: “Why have you got the Thunderslingers?”

 

Naruto says: “We need them to stop Rita Repulsa’s younger sister, Queen Hedrian, in the FUTURE!!!!”

 

Tommy is taken aback and says: “WOW! I had no idea that Rita had a younger sister! In that case, you’ll need all the help you can get!”

 

Scorpina angrily says: “How DARE you Rangers come in and help these CREEPS?!”

 

Billy says: “You mess with ANY Ranger, Scorpina, you mess with ALL of them!”

 

Scorpina says: “Z-putties, attack ALL of them!”

 

Tommy says: “You guys are ASKING for a BUTT kicking!”

 

And a familiar, but STILL classic rocking song plays, while all five Rangers begin taking down the Z-putties! / “No, we cannot see. Who are we to look to? No, we cannot hear. What is to believe in? We keep dreaming of a world where all is good so we were told. We need a hero! And we keep dreaming of a time when good is all that we can find. We need a, we need a Hero! No, we cannot tell who's the one to lead us? But you know that we'll be there, waiting for them to find us. And we keep dreaming of a world where all is good so we were told. We need a hero! And we keep dreaming of a time when good is all that we can find. We need a, we need a Hero!” / And the Z-Putties are ALL broken into pieces!

 

Naruto says: “You’re on your own NOW, Scorpina!”

 

Scorpina angrily says: “I’m not giving up, YET!!!! My masters, make me grow giant, NOW!!!!” /

 

Lord Zedd produces a GROWTH bomb, and he says: “One giant Scorpina monster COMING up!” /

 

The bomb is thrown to Scorpina, and she CATCHES it! Scorpina says: “The ball is in MY court NOW!”

 

Scorpina detonates the bomb, and she grows into a gigantic, monster form! BlackHawk says: “Not good! Got any ideas on how to deal with this?!”

 

Tommy says: “Sure do! I call upon Tor, the Shuttle Zord!”

 

And Tor zooms in, and KNOCKS Scorpina off her feet! /

 

Zordon says: “Rangers, I’m afraid the only way to destroy Scorpina, is to sacrifice Tor. You must get up close to Scorpina, and BLOW up Tor at point blank range!” /

 

Billy says: “I understand, Zordon! Tor, GRAB Scorpina!”

 

And Tor EXTENDS his neck, and GRIPS Scorpina within its mouth!

 

Adam says: “Farewell, old friend! Initiate self-destruct sequence!”

 

And in a BLAST of energy, Tor blows itself up, TAKING Scorpina WITH it! Scorpina cries: “NO!!!! Rita, Zedd! AVENGE ME!!!!”

 

And Scorpina BLOWS up in a blast of flame! Naruto says: “I’m sorry you guys had to do that.”

 

Tommy says: “We just did what we had to do.”

 

BlackHawk says: “Well, I wish we could stay and chat, but we’ve got to get back to our own time.”

 

Billy says: “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure that we will ALL meet up again someday, somewhere unexpected! Good luck!”

 

Naruto says: “Same to you, Rangers!” And Naruto and BlackHawk disappear, to return to their own time!

 

Adam says: “Lord Zedd and Rita are going to be pretty MAD that we destroyed Scorpina!”

 

Tommy asks: “When are they NEVER mad?! Come on! I’ve got a hot DATE with Kimberly!”

 

Billy says: “You assume too much!” And the three of them disappear! /

 

In the moon castle, Goldar cries: “NO!!!! Scorpina, you were the only woman I ever TRULY loved!!!! Why did you sacrifice yourself?! Why; WHY?!!!”

 

Lord Zedd angrily says: “Those Rangers have CROSSED the line this time! I want those Rangers destroyed at ANY cost!”

 

Rita smiles creepily, and she says: “That’s why I’m going to call on the Wizard of Deception! With HIS magical powers, I can re-create the EVIL Green Power Ranger, and have HIM destroy the other Power Rangers ONCE and for all! Then, I will NEVER have another HEAD-ACHE ever AGAIN!”

 

Lord Zedd says: “Rita, I will THANK you to NEVER complain about having another head-ache EVER again! But that IS a diabolic plan! I LOVE how your foul, little mind, works!”

 

Finster turns to the infant Drako, and Finster says: “One day, you will create strong monsters of your OWN! You will stop those pesky Power Rangers, and bring a new era of peace and prosperity to this galaxy! One DAY, Drako!!!!” /

 

BlackHawk and Naruto RETURN back to the Command Center of their own time. BlackHawk says: “We did it, Omnus! We’ve got the Thunderslingers!”

 

Omnus says: “Good! Now use those weapons against Magmanificent and the Imp Dusters!”

 

Naruto says: “Will do, Omnus!” And the two of them disappear! /

 

Toby says: “Water Axe!”

 

Pinkie says: “Diamond Boomerang!”

 

Usagi says: “Wind Staff!”

 

Lettuce says: “Earth Mace!”

 

Ebony says: “Shadow Daggers!”

 

And utilizing their special attacks, the five Rangers ATTEMPT to strike down the Imp Dusters, but they STILL get back up! D.O.G. says: “MAN!!!! Can’t anything keep these guys down?!”

 

Naruto and BlackHawk appear, and BlackHawk says: “These things can! We’ve got the Thunderslingers!”

 

Toby says: “Awesome!”

 

And the five main Rangers get the Thunderslingers, and they simultaneously say: “Thunderslingers power up, FIRE!!!!”

 

And with a BLAST of fire energy, the Imp Dusters are BLOWN into smithereens! Magmanificent says: “You’re going to need more than THAT to bring me down!”

 

Naruto says: “That’s why we brought our Power Weapons! Flame Sword!”

 

BlackHawk says: “Electric Sabre!”

 

And the seven Rangers COMBINE their Power Weapons, with the Thunderslingers! The Rangers simultaneously say: “Ultra Power Blaster Cannon, FIRE!!!!”

 

And with a powerful blast of ENERGY, Magmanificent is BROUGHT down to the ground in ONE shot! /

 

Amazoness angrily says: “Queen Hedrian, Magmanificent is LOSING!!!!”

 

Queen Hedrian says: “Not to worry! Now it’s time for Round TWO!!!!” /

 

Magmanificent angrily says: “Time to stop playing around, and use my powers to GROW!!!!”

 

And Magmanificent grows fifty feet TALL! D.O.G. says: “You guys know what you have to do!”

 

Pinkie says: “Right! We need Dinozord power, NOW!!!!”

 

Six of the zords appear normally, while Ebony plays her guitar to summon the Velociraptor Zord! Usagi says: “Let’s do it!”

 

And the Rangers get into their respective zords! Lettuce says: “All right! It’s time to COOL Magmanificent DOWN!!!!”

 

Ebony says: “Let’s form the Velociraptor Multi-Megazord!”

 

And with quick speed, and maneuvering, the Velociraptor Multi-Megazord is formed!

 

Naruto says: “I call upon the power of the Power Sword!!!!”

 

And the Power Sword APPEARS electronically in the hands of the Megazord! Magmanificent says: “Just TRY to take me down, if you can!”

 

Toby says: “Oh, we’re taking you WAY down!”

 

While the Megazord engages in a battle against Magmanifcent, a rocking hit song by Foreigner is heard! / “Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see! I got a fever of a hundred and three! Come on baby, do you do more than dance? I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded! You don't have to read my mind, to know what I have in mind! Honey, you ought to know. Now you move so fine, let me lay it on the line! I want to know, what you're doing after the show! Now it's up to you, we can make a secret rendezvous! Just me and you, I'll show you loving like you never knew! That's why, I'm hot blooded, check it and see! I got a fever of a hundred and three! Come on baby, do you do more than dance? I'm hot blooded, hot blooded! If it feels alright, maybe you can stay all night! Shall I leave you my key? But you've got to give me a sign, come on girl, some kind of sign! Tell me, are you hot mama? You sure look that way to me! Are you old enough? Will you be ready when I call your bluff? Is my timing right? Did you save your love for me tonight? Yeah I'm hot blooded, check it and see! Feel the fever burning inside of me! Come on baby, do you do more than dance? I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded; I'm hot! Now it's up to you, can we make a secret rendezvous? Oh, before we do, you'll have to get away from you know who! Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see! I got a fever of a hundred and three! Come on baby, do you do more than dance? I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded! Hot blooded, every night! Hot blooded, you're looking so tight! Hot blooded, now you're driving me wild! Hot blooded, I'm so hot for you, child! Hot blooded, I'm a little bit high! Hot blooded, you're a little bit shy! Hot blooded, you're making me sing! Hot blooded, for your sweet; sweet, thing!” /

 

And despite using the Power Sword to CUT the arms of Magmanificent SEVERAL times, Magmanificent KEEPS reforming his arms EVERY single time! Pinkie says: “We need something stronger!”

 

Usagi says: “V BLAST!!!!”

 

The Velociraptor Multi-Megazord FIRES at the chest of Magmanificent, but Magmanificent simply HEALS the hole in its chest! Magmanificent says: “You’ll never take ME down!”

 

BlackHawk says: “Want to bet?! Time to form the Multi-ULTRAZORD!!!!”

 

And the Megazord hooks up to the Spinosaurus Zord, and creates the Multi-Ultrazord! /

 

Omnus says: “Rangers, hook up the Thunderslingers into the Weapons bay. It will give your cannons a super-powered charge!” /

 

Lettuce says: “Got it, Omnus! Fire Full Arsenal!!!!”

 

And with a flurry of fire-power, the Multi-Ultrazord quickly and EASILY decimates Magmanificent, causing it to EXPLODE in a ball of FLAMES!!!!

 

Ebony happily says: “Power Rangers; THAT was a powerful victory!” /

 

Amazoness sighs, as she puts up a bust of Magmanificent up on the “Fallen Monsters” shelf. Amazoness says: “I just don’t understand how these monsters keep FAILING! We even COMBINED that monster with a BLOOD Beast, for crying out loud!”

 

Queen Hedrian says: “Perhaps next time, YOU should fight alongside the monster, so we can ENSURE our victory!”

 

Amazoness says: “Will do, Queen Hedrian!”

 

Drako sighs and says: “I can’t believe my latest monster failed! I wonder if Finster and Rita ever had days like this?”

 

Then Drako looks at an old-fashioned picture of Finster smiling, and on it, in Finster’s handwriting, it says: “Don’t stop believing!”

 

Drako says: “You’re right, father! I can’t give up! I WON’T give up! I’m going to keep on trying until I create a monster that DESTROYS the Power Rangers!”

 

Meanwhile, Demon King Banriki is sulking, and saying: “Queen Hedrian has FAILED the Hedrian Clan one TOO many times for MY taste! Soon, VERY soon, I must STRIKE and take command for MYSELF! Then, and ONLY then, will the Hedrian Clan have a CHANCE for victory!” /

 

Back in 1995, Billy is at the Command Center, talking with Zordon and Alpha V. Billy says: “Those strange Rangers were really good fighters, Zordon! It’s a shame that they couldn’t stick around to help us out.”

 

Zordon says: “Trust us, Billy, they have their own battles in their OWN time that they must take care of.”

 

Billy says: “Speaking of battles, can the two of you do me a HUGE favor?!”

 

Zordon asks: “What is that?”

 

Billy sighs and says: “You’ve GOT to fake my disappearance! I can’t STAND Tommy calling me ‘gay’ as an INSULT anymore! I don’t want to put up with it any longer! You’ve got to do me a solid!”

 

Zordon sighs and says: “Give the two of us about 100 more adventures, and we’ll see what we can do.”

 

Billy sighs and says: “Understood, Zordon.” /

 

In the present day, Toby says: “Wow! It was so COOL that the two of you got to meet THREE Legendary Power Rangers!”

 

Naruto says: “And we succeeded, by putting our differences aside, and working together!”

 

BlackHawk says: “I admit it, you DID a good job, Naruto!”

 

Naruto smiles and says: “Thank you, BlackHawk. It means a lot to hear you say that!”

 

BlackHawk asks: “Does anyone want to play another game of soccer? I promise that you’ll ALL get a turn to kick the ball!”

 

D.O.G. asks: “Even me?”

 

Pinkie says: “As long as you can keep up!”

 

D.O.G. eagerly says: “I used to be called, ‘SPEEDY,’ back in the 1980’s!”

 

Usagi says: “I’m excited to see what you can do!”

 

And the episode ends as the Rangers run off to the soccer field! /

 

Episode Notes: Banriki’s sight is restored and enhanced in this episode. Banriki also begins CONTEMPLATING about BETRAYING Queen Hedrian, and taking command for HIMSELF! First time that a Blood Beast and a Queen Hedrian egg monster have been COMBINED together, as well as Imps and Dusters! Billy, Tommy, and Adam are featured in this episode as three Legendary Rangers that the “Power Rangers Multiverse Force” will one day meet up in a legendary battle! It is revealed in THIS episode, that Drako, is in fact, the SON of monster-maker Finster, and it is very clear that Drako is FOLLOWING in his father’s footsteps!

 

Personal Notes: The reason I made this episode, was to answer a lot of NAGGING question from the original “Mighty Morphing Power Rangers.” For instance, why wasn’t Titanus used in season two? Why did Scorpina, Tor, and the Thunderslingers disappear after season two? Why did Kimberly end up breaking up with Tommy? And what was the REAL reason for Billy leaving the other “Power Rangers?” As far as Kimberly is concerned, word of God is that Kimberly ended up MARRYING Skull, so I decided to make their relationship CANNON in this episode, and as stated by Bulk, it’s karma for Tommy calling Billy ‘Gay’ as an insult one too many times! Just like how David Yost (the actor who played Billy) faced Homophobia while he was a Power Ranger, I decided to carry THAT trait over to Billy, as well as legitimize the REAL reason as to WHY Billy left the other Power Rangers! Don’t worry, this problem WILL be resolved when we meet Billy again in the future! /

 

That’s my episode idea for today!  Enough said, true believers! 

 

 

[4EverGreen]

It’s the calm before the storm, so enjoy it while it lasts! / Sniz is in the cock-pit and says: “Last time, on Total Cartoon Global Cruise; the final eight contestants went to Egypt! In a challenge designed by General Barracuda, each of our contestants had to face their WORST nightmare fear! Some challengers, like Reggie Rocket and Captain Retro, fared relatively WELL in that challenge! Other challengers, like Bulma and Skipper, really STRUGGLED to prevail in the challenge! But the BIGGEST loser ended up being fallen idol, Zarbon! It turns out, that Zarbon has APPARENTLY been behind ALL of the bad things that had happened so FAR this season! Not only that, but Bulma decided that Zarbon was no longer USEFUL to him! And after Chameleon thoroughly beat Zarbon up, Bulma COMPLETELY broke Zarbon’s heart, into a MILLION pieces! OUCH!!!! And adding insult to injury, Zarbon was FINALLY, and unceremoniously, booted OUT of the competition, ending Zarbon’s dreams, of ever winning this competition! We are down to the Final Seven contestants in this challenge! And today, they will be put through another rigorous challenge! What task will the remaining contestants have to do today?! Let us find out by watching another riveting episode, of Total Cartoon Global Cruise! To the Galapagos Islands!” /

 

Instead of the usual show open, the remaining contestants (with the exception of Bulma), contemplate ALL of the lies that have been TOLD to them (mostly by Bulma), throughout this season, to the tune of a ROCKING 1987 hit song! / Genre: Soft rock. Sub-genre: Fleetwood Mac. Song: “Little Lies.” Sung by: Reggie Rocket, Captain Retro, Suzie Carmichael, Skipper, Chameleon, and Patrick! / Reggie: “If I could turn the page; in time, then I'd rearrange just a day or two.” Captain Retro: “Close my, close my, close my eyes.” Reggie: “But I couldn't find a way, so I'll settle for one day to believe in you!” Captain Retro: “Tell me, tell me; tell me lies.” Contestants: “Tell me lies! Tell me sweet little lies.” Suzie: “Tell me lies, tell me; tell me lies!” Contestants: “Oh, no, no you can't disguise!” Skipper: “You can't disguise, no you can't disguise!” Contestants: “Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies!” Chameleon: “Although I'm not making plans, I hope that you understand there's a reason why.” Captain Retro: “Close your, close your, close your eyes.” Patrick: “No more broken hearts; we're better off apart, let's give it a try.” Captain Retro: “Tell me, tell me; tell me lies.” Contestants: “Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies!” Reggie: “Tell me lies, tell me; tell me lies!” Contestants: “Oh, no, no you can't disguise!” Skipper: “You can't disguise, no you can't disguise!” Contestants: “Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies!” (Instrumental break) Captain Retro: “If I could turn the page; in time, then I'd rearrange just a day or two.” Chameleon: “Close my, close my, close my eyes.” Captain Retro: “But I couldn't find a way, so I'll settle for one day to believe in you!” Patrick: “Tell me, tell me; tell me lies!” Contestants: “Tell me lies! Tell me sweet little lies.” Suzie: “Tell me lies, tell me; tell me lies!” Contestants: “Oh, no, no you can't disguise!” Captain Retro: “You can't disguise, no you can't disguise!” Contestants: “Tell me lies! Tell me sweet little lies.” Skipper: “Tell me lies, tell me; tell me lies!” Contestants: “Oh, no, no you can't disguise!” Patrick: “You can't disguise, no you can't disguise!” Contestants: “Tell me lies! Tell me sweet little lies.” Captain Retro: “Tell me, tell me lies!” / And the epic song ends. /

 

“You’re No Good!” The plane is in transit, and six of the contestants are feeling uneasy, DESPITE the fact that TWO of them are currently in the V.I.P. Lounge. Reggie says: “Well, phase one of the plan was a success! Zarbon is no longer a threat to us!” Captain Retro says: “That’s true. But the tricky part is now upon me; to neutralize Bulma Briefs! Just because she’s taken a hit, doesn’t mean that she’s no longer dangerous! After all, a wounded animal is often the most dangerous KIND of animal!” Reggie says: “But Bulma isn’t an animal!” Captain Retro says: “She might as WELL be, with the way she’s been acting! All she’s done this season is LOOK for ways to HURT other contestants in any way that she COULD, then get someone ELSE to do the hurting FOR her!” Reggie says: “Except for ONE time; she actually TOOK it upon herself to deliver the FINAL blow to Zarbon!” Captain Retro says: “But she WANTED to do that from the very beginning! What I’m wondering is; will she have the nerve to do it AGAIN?! When the chips are on the line, and everything depends on that one, crucial moment to achieve victory!”

 

Reggie asks: “Why WOULDN’T Bulma have the nerve to do something despicable again?!” Captain Retro says: “Because there are some lines that even BULMA isn’t willing to cross! I think that DEEP down, she KNOWS that what she has been doing is WRONG; but she has found excuses and ways to RATIONALIZE her behavior, in order to make it all RIGHT for her to do it! But when she’s presented with the UGLY truth; will she be able to CONTINUE going on the path she’s on, knowing that it’s the WRONG path for her to go on?” Reggie asks: “Do you think that you have a CHANCE to stop her?” Captain Retro says: “Everyone else’s performances this season will depend on it! I know that I have overshadowed everyone else with awesomeness this season, but it was NECESSARY to hide YOUR performance this season!” Reggie asks: “Why MY performance?!” Captain Retro seriously says: “Do you honestly THINK Bulma hasn’t already TRIED to target YOU this season?! You were one of her FIRST choices for blindsiding, when she SNUCK that micro-chip on you!” Reggie asks: “I thought that SNAPTRAP was responsible for that one!” Captain Retro says: “Unless Snaptrap WAS telling the truth, and Bulma TOOK the microchip FROM him in order to FRAME him for it, just in case Bulma’s plan to eliminate YOU didn’t work!” Reggie gasps and says: “So Snaptrap truly DIDN’T try to eliminate me!” Captain Retro says: “No, but BULMA did! And if I don’t stop her soon, Bulma will SURELY try to eliminate you AGAIN, BEFORE you reach the Final Five!” Reggie sighs and says: “I had no idea Bulma would be THAT desperate to try to WIN this competition!” Captain Retro says: “I have a feeling that we will ALL find out what Bulma is TRYING to hide, soon enough!” (Confessional)

 

Captain Retro says: “I have been analyzing Bulma’s performance throughout this season, and from what I’ve seen of her personality and her actions, I’ve boiled it down to one of THREE possibilities! Bulma is doing this either to take care of something really BIG; take care of something REALLY embarrassing; or take care of something that is BOTH! While I know that I’ve got to do this, I’m still a little worried about it. The thing of it is, my powers are morality based. As long as there is someone EVIL for me to fight against in this competition, I can use my powers. But if there IS no one evil LEFT in this competition, I can’t use my powers! Once Bulma is gone, so to, will my powers be gone! And with that, practically ANY chance of me getting into the Final Four!” / Reggie Rocket says: “I think that the reason that Bulma has already TRIED to take me out, boils down to one of THREE factors! Bulma was either really SCARED of my athletic abilities; Bulma felt THREATENED by my athletic abilities; or Bulma was both scared AND threatened by my athletic abilities! Now, I can see WHY Captain Retro has been going OUT of his way to do so WELL this season; it was to DRAW Bulma’s fire, and make her target HIM instead of the rest of us! That was certainly a noble thing for HIM to do! I just hope that it all works out for Captain Retro in the end!” (End Confessional) Four other contestants are in First Class, pondering about their next course of action. Skipper says: “Well, I think the HARDEST part is behind us. Zarbon is gone, now BULMA will be the next to go!” Suzie says: “I highly doubt it’s going to be as EASY as you’re making it sound! Bulma may no longer have her dragon, but she STILL has her intelligence to fall back on!” Chameleon says: “She has a point. Bulma isn’t JUST going to LET herself be taken out of the game!” Skipper says: “That’s why all FOUR of us, along with Reggie, will have to work together in order to take Bulma out!” Patrick asks: “How will we do that?” Skipper says: “By playing to our FULL potential, of course!” Patrick looks shocked, and responds: “Our FULL potential?!” Skipper says: “Of course! How ELSE can we expect to take out Bulma Briefs?!” Patrick actually THINKS about it, and says: “You guys don’t WANT me to play to my full potential!” Suzie says: “It might be a welcome change of PACE, though!” Chameleon says: “You haven’t exactly been a THREAT, playing at the level that you’ve been playing!” Skipper says: “Besides, I think we ALL know that even if you PLAYED at your full potential, you’re NOT going to win anyways; you’re going to DO what you ALWAYS do! You’re going to FLOUNDER apart, WONDERING why everyone is leaving you in the dust, and you’re going to FORGET that we EVER told you about any of this!” Patrick asks: “Is THAT what you THINK about me?!” Skipper says: “Barring any unforeseen circumstances, that IS what we ALL think about you!” (Confessional)

 

Skipper says: “SOMEBODY had to tell Patrick how it’s going to be! THREE of us have to get into the Final Three, and it certainly WON’T be Bulma, Captain Retro, or PATRICK!” / Suzie shakes her head, and she says: “If you’re asking me, Skipper is just TEMPTING fate by walking around, CLAIMING that Patrick doesn’t have a CHANCE to win! I’ve learned a LONG time ago that when you tempt fate, then fate will ALWAYS find a way to make sure that what you think WON’T happen, WILL happen!” / Chameleon says: “I’d LIKE to believe that Patrick has an ACTUAL chance of getting into the Final Three, but I don’t think that Patrick has the capacity to do it! Of course, I’m not even sure if I have the capacity for getting into the Final Three! But as long as I get into the Final Five and WIN something; that will be good enough for me!” / Patrick seriously says: “I have absolutely HAD it with Skipper CONSTANTLY taking my skills for granted! He thinks that I don’t have a SHOT at winning THIS?! Well, I’m NOT going to put UP with Skipper’s constant INSULTS any longer! I’m going to use the FULL power of my brain coral, and show Skipper just how dangerous it is to underestimate me!” (End Confessional)

 

Bulma is dancing around in Second Class, completely HAPPY with herself! Bulma says: “I did it! I DID it! I did it! AND I did it! I got RID of ZARBON!!!! Vegeta told me that I would NEVER have a chance, but I sure proved HIM wrong! Now Vegeta HAS to marry me, or I can make SURE that everyone else HATES him for the REST of his life! It would’ve been NICE if I could’ve blackmailed Captain Retro, but at least I’m one step closer to my goal! I just got to look for the weakest link in the chain of REMAINING contestants, and EXPLOIT it to my benefit! Chameleon SAYS he’s good, but it would be SO easy to TRICK him into being EVIL again! All I’ve got to do is whisper sweet nothings into his ear…or, however it IS that a reptile can HEAR words anyways! If I can get five minutes ALONE with Chameleon, I can form a last minute ALLIANCE with him, and get PATRICK in the loop! With THOSE two as my Final Three companions, I’d be the OBVIOUS favorite to win for SURE!!!! It’s the MOST perfect PLAN in the UNIVERSE!!!!” Then all of the sudden, Anti-TIMMY jumps in, growling and SNARLING! Bulma panics, and says: “You CREEP!!!!” Anti-Timmy creepily says: “You have the PRECIOUS!!!! You STOLE it from us! Return our PRECIOUS, or we HATES you! We HATES you FOREVER!!!!” Bulma seriously says: “And make your ELEVENTH season a success?! Not for all the money in the WORLD!!!!” And Bulma WHACKS Anti-Timmy with a FRYING pan! Bulma THEN takes Anti-Timmy into the Cargo area, and LITERALLY twisting him into a pretzel shape, wraps Anti-Timmy AROUND a metal pole! Bulma seriously says: “Get out of THAT, if you CAN!!!!”

 

(Confessional) Bulma sighs and says: “What a GIGANTIC headache! It’s all that STUPID Blonda’s FAULT! If SHE hadn’t have interfered, I wouldn’t HAVE to be making an alliance with Chameleon and Patrick! Who does Blonda think she IS?! Well, at least I now know what I WANT to do with the $44.44 million WHEN I inevitably WIN!!!! I’m going to BUY Blonda’s STUPID network, JUST so I can freaking FIRE Blonda and put her OUT of business! ONE day, and she is GONE!!!! That will show HER not to mess with Bulma BRIEFS!” (End Confessional) In the cock-pit, General Barracuda asks: “Is it that time again?!” Sniz says: “You KNOW it is!” Sniz activates the intercom, and says: “Attention passengers! The seven of you have officially made the FINAL Seven! You are OFFICIALLY better than 51 OTHER contestants who TRIED to compete this season! As your reward; today, there will be NO elimination challenge this episode! Instead, you will be competing for a reward that will prove to be VERY useful to you in the next challenge! But you’ll have to WIN it if you want to find out what it is! We will be going to the Galapagos Islands for this challenge, so be prepared to dress tropical, and prepare for a REALLY exciting challenge! It’s going to be a REALLY challenging…CHALLENGE! Sniz, out!” Reggie asks: “A reward challenge, at THIS late point in the season?!” Captain Retro says: “It’s not ENTIRELY uncommon! After all, last season, when they got down to the Final Six, they had a reward challenge to give the remaining contestants a break!” Reggie says: “I just hope that whatever the challenge is, that BULMA won’t go out of her way to try to sabotage us!” Captain Retro says: “She probably won’t, seeing as how it IS a reward challenge! Still, best to keep your guard up, just in case.” Reggie says: “Will do, Captain Retro!”

 

(Confessional) Captain Retro sighs in relief, and he says: “FINALLY! We catch a BREAK! It’s about TIME we had a reward challenge! And if I WIN this one, it will give me an edge in the next challenge! And believe me, since Bulma’s elimination is on the line, I will take any bit of help I can GET in order to prevail over Bulma in the next challenge!” / Reggie says: “Personally, I’d rather see Bulma get eliminated NOW, instead of later! But as long as it’s only ONE more episode that we have to put up with her, then I guess that I can live with it, but NOT happily!” (End Confessional) Suzie asks: “Why in the WORLD are we having a reward challenge right now?! We SHOULD be preparing to ELIMINATE Bulma Briefs!” Skipper seriously says: “WHY?! I’ll tell you why! It’s just a PATHETIC excuse to utilize a bunch of CLIP footage from ALL the past episodes of this season, so THEY can save money in NOT having to shoot NEW footage for THIS episode!” Chameleon asks: “Who are ‘they’?” Skipper says: “I’m not sure. Let us just get this reward challenge over with, as quickly as possible!” Suzie says: “Agreed! The sooner Bulma gets out of her, the sooner we will ALL be happy!” Bulma walks in and scoffs: “Good luck with THAT!!!! You can’t COMPETE with MY genius!” Patrick turns around, and he says: “But I CAN!!!!” Bulma seriously asks: “You think that you can out-compete ME in this challenge?!” Patrick says: “I fully intend on finding out! And Skipper, you’re going to find out the HARD way just WHY you shouldn’t underestimate me!”

 

(Confessional) Skipper is UNNERVED, and he says: “I’m not sure WHAT it is, but Patrick ACTUALLY sounded SERIOUS and CONVINCING when he TALKED like that! I’m starting to think that MAYBE constantly BELITTLING Patrick, WASN’T such a good idea!” / Suzie says: “Whenever I have teamed up with Patrick this season, Patrick has always found ways to surprise me, even when I think that I have him COMPLETELY figured out! I wouldn’t doubt if Patrick will be able to do it again! I just hope that I don’t make TOO poor of a showing, as a result!” / Chameleon says: “That thing I said about Patrick not making it far? I think I might have spoken too soon! Patrick’s got that old look of FIRE in his eyes! And THAT look, is the look of a WINNER!” / Patrick says: “I think I struck a NERVE against Bulma Briefs! She certainly wasn’t expecting THAT, when she walked in!” / Bulma scoffs and she asks: “Did I miss a MEMO or something?! Since when did PATRICK take a lesson in COMPETANCE, of ALL contestants?! No matter, I’m STILL far more capable than he could EVER be! And I’m going to prove it by SMOKING them in this challenge, no matter HOW lame it turns out being!” (End Confessional) The plane lands on the island of Isabela, in the Galapagos Islands. Sniz jumps out and says: “We did it! We’re here!” Reggie says: “I can see that we’re here. But why are we here?” Sniz says: “We are here to take a look at the scenery! Our Fairy Godparent interns ‘poofed’ up reminders of your past adventures! I want you to look all around this island! Relax, reminisce, and remember just HOW it is that the seven of YOU got here, and everyone ELSE, didn’t!” Skipper says: “Lousy excuse for a CLIP show, called it!” Patrick says: “Ignore him!” Sniz says: “I always do! And when you get back here, we will have your challenge all set up! And trust us, you will WANT the reward advantage for the next challenge! Be back here in about 44 minutes, and we will have EVERYTHING set up!” And Sniz gets back on the plane! Chameleon says: “Well, I guess we better start walking!” Bulma rolls her eyes and says: “MAN!!!! I HATE walking!” /

 

The contestants begin walking around, and they start to see STONE sculpture formations, of ALL the previously eliminated contestants! Skipper asks: “Isn’t THAT Timmy Turner?!” Patrick says: “What a LOSER!!!!” Suzie says: “We were sure lucky HE got booted off the plane when he did!” Bulma nervously says: “RIGHT! When he did!” (Confessional) Bulma says: “Was I going to tell the OTHERS that Anti-Timmy was STILL on the plane?! Certainly not! Even though Anti-Timmy is no longer USEFUL to me, if word got out that I had been USING Anti-Timmy to help me do my dirty DEEDS this season; that would NOT be very GOOD for me! After all, if I want to WIN this season, I want to look as GOOD as possible!” / Patrick says: “Timmy Turner was COMPLETELY useless; no doubt about it! The only thing WORSE than his performance as a contestant, is his pathetic excuse for a show! I’m sure glad that HE got cancelled…I mean, eliminated!” / Suzie says: “Losers got to lose, but WINNERS got to win!” (End Confessional)

 

Patrick says: “There’s Jimmy Neutron!” Captain Retro says: “He was SMART!” Bulma scoffs and says: “Obviously NOT smart enough to last LONG enough to beat ME in a competition!” Reggie suspiciously says: “I wonder just why THAT was!” (Confessional) Reggie says: “Ever since I found out that BULMA was responsible for putting that micro-chip on me, I have decided to make it my MISSION to unnerve Bulma Briefs! As long as I put the pressure on her, it might cause Bulma to TRIP and mess up! If I can stop her from getting an ADVANTAGE in the next challenge, I will be able to spend a good night SLEEPING tonight!” / Bulma scoffs and says: “I don’t CARE if Reggie suspects me! She’s going to have to do a LOT better if she wants ME to confess to anything!” / Captain Retro chuckles and says: “Little does Bulma know, she HAS already confessed to EVERYTHING! And soon, it will be TIME for me to reveal the TRUTH to EVERYONE!” (End Confessional) Chameleon says: “Isn’t that Fanboy?!” Bulma sarcastically says: “Or as I like to call him; ‘Gayey-gayey two-by-four, can’t live without Chum-Chum to adore’!” Skipper seriously says: “You’re heading right for a SMACKED bottom, Bulma!” Bulma rolls her eyes and says: “I am SO worried!” (Confessional) Bulma says: “Fanboy only has HIMSELF to blame for his early elimination! If he could learn to find ME attractive, like ANY normal person would, I would’ve ignored him and kept him along longer! But since THAT was clearly not the case, he had to go! Nothing PERSONAL, you understand!” / Skipper says: “I’m glad we’re focusing on the ELIMINATED contestants, and not the challenges themselves! I don’t want to be REMINDED of what Marlene DID with Captain Retro! I know she only did it because she WANTED to win, but she STILL could’ve put me in the LOOP; whatever THAT means!” (End Confessional)

 

Patrick says: “That’s Roger Klotz!” Suzie says: “He wasn’t a really GOOD contestant, but I think he could’ve lasted a LITTLE bit longer if Judy didn’t pull her little STUNT on Roger!” Reggie says: “Judy was just making the best decision that she could, with the information that she knew and understood at the time. She couldn’t have predicted that SHE would be eliminated as well!” (Confessional) Suzie says: “If there’s one thing I have learned, is that you do NOT last long in a competition of this nature, if you play around with people’s hearts; you’re going to wind up in a LOT of trouble! THAT is the honest truth!” / Reggie says: “I’m a lot more sympathetic to the tough decisions that people have to make! It’s not as easy or as simple as you would THINK it would be! You often have to make decisions in a compressed amount of time, so you’re obviously NOT going to have the time to consider all the POSSIBLE consequences of possible actions that you will do in life! That’s what I try to remember whenever I have to make a tough decision!” (End Confessional) Captain Retro says: “That’s Patty Mayonnaise! She was a pretty contestant!” Bulma says: “Not as pretty as me, though! My only regret, is that I NEVER got a personal moment WITH her to let HER know that SHE was out of her league!” Chameleon says: “In terms of brains? Maybe. But NOT in terms of heart!” (Confessional)

 

Bulma says: “Patty is one of the FEW contestants that I personally didn’t care for EITHER way in this season! She COULD’VE been useful to me if she had lasted longer! But she didn’t, so I won’t waste any time thinking about what COULD’VE been!” / Chameleon says: “Even someone like PATTY, deserves to be in this competition MORE than Bulma does! I can tell you THAT much right now!” (End Confessional) Skipper says: “That’s Kitty Katswell!” Chameleon says: “She was ROBBED, pure and simple!” Patrick asks: “Why do you care? She didn’t even LIKE you! She was CONVINCED you were evil!” Chameleon says: “She had some good REASONS for thinking I was still evil! It wasn’t until Dudley came along that he convinced me that I could be good!” Bulma scoffs, and asks: “You don’t REALLY think you’re a good guy, do you?!” Chameleon says: “I know that I’m better at being good than YOU, that’s for sure!” (Confessional) Bulma says: “So much for trying to get a MUTUAL alliance with Chameleon! I just have to find out some dirty SECRET about Chameleon instead, and exploit THAT, to FORCE Chameleon into an alliance with me!” / Chameleon says: “Believe me, it felt SO good to be able to tell Bulma OFF like that!” (End Confessional)

 

Patrick says: “There’s Verminious J. Snaptrap, AND Haggis McHaggis!” Bulma says: “Both of them were JERKS in their own way! Snaptrap tried to cheat off POOR Reggie Rocket, and Haggis HIT Treeflower in the FACE!” Captain Retro says: “Or SO you would WANT contestants to believe!” Bulma says: “You were ALL there! You SAW what happened!” Captain Retro says: “But NOT behind the scenes!” Bulma scoffs and says: “Get back! You’ve got absolutely NOTHING on me, and THAT is the way it is GOING to stay!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “Believe me, I can’t WAIT to reveal the truth to EVERYONE, and show EVERYONE just how HORRID of a person that Bulma is!” / Bulma says: “The ONLY person that could’ve posed a THREAT to me, was Gonard! And thanks to Zarbon, he is LONG gone from the competition! NOBODY poses a REAL concern to me NOW!” (End Confessional) Suzie says: “There’s Twister Rodriguez!” Reggie shakes her head, and she says: “He made a HUGE mistake getting MAD like that!” Bulma says: “Well, that’s what HAPPENS when you become TOTALLY over-confidant and then you BLOW it! Fortunately, I have NEVER had that problem!” Captain Retro sarcastically says: “YEAH, you just keep telling YOURSELF that!” (Confessional) Reggie says: “Twister only has himself to blame for getting himself KICKED out of the competition so early! If he had been more humble, he probably would’ve lasted longer! It’s THAT simple!” / Bulma says: “Other contestants just don’t have the diligence and discipline to keep their mind focused on what REALLY matters; making EVERYONE else look COMPLETELY worse than YOU do!” / Captain Retro says: “As of right now, I OFFICIALLY think that Bulma is trying to hide something BIG and EMBARASSING! Why else would she go out of her WAY to INSULT everyone she’s had a HAND in ELIMINATING?! Don’t worry, HER fall is coming soon enough!” (End Confessional) Chameleon says: “There’s Lil Deville AND Angelica Pickles!” Skipper says: “Lil didn’t even get a CHANCE to defend herself! The poor girl!” Patrick says: “And Angelica was her own worst ENEMY! You didn’t even HAVE to make a plan to get HER out! She did it all by herself!” Bulma says: “That is true! Stubborn and DEFIANT until the bitter end!” (Confessional) Skipper says: “Lil Deville didn’t get a proper elimination! I would’ve LOVED to have kept her on, just so I could test my wits and REFLEXES against her!” / Patrick says: “Bulma is definitely a brat, but Angelica was LEGITIMATELY dangerous! She HAD to be eliminated early! Otherwise, I don’t think the REST of us would BE here right now!” / Bulma chuckles and she says: “Angelica was SUCH a jerk, and SO gullible, TO! She believes ANYTHING a lady with a 999 I.Q., namely ME, tells her to do!” (End Confessional)

 

Suzie says: “There’s Pearl!” Patrick cries: “I MISS Pearl! She should be here instead of me!” Bulma scoffs and says: “YEAH! Because she would do SO much BETTER than YOU at EVERYTHING!!!!” Patrick asks: “What is THAT supposed to mean?!” Bulma seriously says: “Take it HOWEVER you want! I’m NOT going to BOTHER providing CONTEXT for you!” (Confessional) Patrick seriously says: “How DARE Bulma attack Pearl when Pearl can’t even BE here to defend herself! If nothing else, I’m going to help take Bulma down, if for no other reason but to AVENGE Pearl’s honor!” / Bulma says: “SERIOUSLY, Pearl WOULD be better than Patrick at EVERYTHING! That’s why she HAD to go! It was nothing TRULY personal. MUCH!” (End Confessional) Reggie says: “There’s Old Man Jenkins, A.K.A. the FAKE Guano!” Bulma says: “I will SERIOUSLY never understand his gimmick!” Captain Retro says: “He was just as much as a headache to me, as he was to everyone else; BELIEVE me!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “I’ve gone through TOO much to be concerned with someone like Old Man Jenkins! I’m just glad that I don’t have to DEAL with someone like him in this competition, anymore!” (End Confessional) Chameleon says: “There’s Treeflower!” Bulma scoffs and says: “She’s so STUPID!!!! Who gets PREGNANT when they are IN a competition?! That’s just BEGGING for someone to ELIMINATE you!” Captain Retro says: “At least she exited the competition with dignity, which is MORE than I can say for you!” Bulma sarcastically says: “I WISH you actually HAD a CHANCE against me!” Captain Retro seriously says: “Be careful what you WISH for, you just might GET it!” Bulma seriously says: “I usually do!” (Confessional) Bulma says: “What REALLY amazes me, is how there were FAR more COMPETANT contestants this season then I ever THOUGHT there could be! But I have found the way to eliminate EACH and every single ONE of them!” /

 

Captain Retro says: “The law of irony dictates that the thing Bulma thinks WON’T happen, WILL happen, and it will happen when it is MOST inconvenient for BULMA to HAVE that happen!” (End Confessional) Skipper says: “There’s Dib, AND Judy Funny!” Bulma says: “Two names that are SYNONOMOUS with LOSING!!!!” Patrick says: “You are SO rude, Bulma! Has anyone ever TOLD you THAT?!” Bulma says: “I’m just telling it like it is! Don’t blame the messenger, BLAME the message!” (Confessional) Patrick says: “If there’s one thing I’m SURE about, is that if this had been a FAIR challenge, Bulma would’ve been gone LONG before now!” / Bulma says: “I certainly wasn’t going to give THOSE two LOSERS a chance to ELIMINATE me! That’s why I had to get RID of them FIRST! It was just self-preservation! Nothing more!” (End Confessional) Suzie says: “There is Sway-Sway!” Reggie says: “I’m happy for him! He got a happy ending!” Bulma sarcastically says: “Yeah, if you LIKE that sort of thing!” (Confessional) Bulma seriously says: “The only ending that Sway-Sway deserves, is to have his HEAD mounted on a trophy hunter’s WALL! And Buhdeuce as WELL, as long as we’re AT it!” (End Confessional) Reggie says: “There is Harvey Beaks, and Craig Slithers!” Bulma says: “That kid had no PLACE in this competition!” Captain Retro says: “Because he had a better SHOT at winning than YOU do?!” Bulma scoffs and says: “It wasn’t even LIKE that! I certainly didn’t TELL Taotie to eliminate HIM the way he did! He came up with THAT one on his OWN!” Captain Retro says: “That doesn’t make YOU standing by, and doing NOTHING, any BETTER!” (Confessional) Bulma says: “Harvey wasn’t even a THREAT to me! It’s just that he was the most CONVENIENT contestant for my team to eliminate! That’s the only reason why HE had to go!” / Captain Retro says: “I would LIKE to believe that Bulma WASN’T responsible for eliminating Harvey! But from what I have SEEN of Bulma’s behavior and attitude, I have to believe that is NOT the case!” (End Confessional) Chameleon says: “There’s Stanley Squarepants!” Patrick says: “I hate to say it, but that guy really BLEW it! You do NOT press Spongebob’s BERSERKER button!” Skipper says: “That’s a lesson that I learned the HARD way!” (Confessional) Skipper seriously says: “Seriously, how can someone SO happy and nice have such an AGGRESSIVE mean streak SIDE to him?! I STILL can’t understand it, and I SUFFERED because of it!” (End Confessional)

 

Suzie says: “There’s Super Chum, and the REAL Guano!” Bulma sarcastically says: “SOME super-hero! Doesn’t even stick around to FINISH the competition!” Reggie seriously says: “At least Super Chum is actually DOING something to help the Earth! What have YOU ever done?!” Bulma seriously says: “I’ll have you know MY Capsule Corporation is 100% GREEN!!!! We don’t make ANY waste products whatsoever!” Captain Retro sarcastically says: “Congratulations, Mrs. John Muir! Let me KNOW when you win the Nobel Peace Prize!” (Confessional)

 

Captain Retro laughs, and he says: “I sure burned HER, good!” / Bulma angrily says: “I HATE it when I get BURNED!” / Reggie says: “I actually respect Super Chum! It’s still not easy to be gay these days, so for him to be making a good life for himself is REALLY impressive!” (End Confessional) Chameleon says: “There’s Invader Zim, and Keswick!” Bulma says: “Two bigger TRAITORS you will NEVER find in this competition!” Skipper asks: “What about Zarbon?!” Bulma says: “We’ll get to him when we GET to him! If we’re going to DO this STUPID clip-show episode, the LEAST you can let me do, is you can let me ENJOY it!” (Confessional) Skipper says: “I’ll sure enjoy it when BULMA is out of the picture!” / Bulma says: “Invader Zim was just a JOKE! But Keswick was a genuine threat, so HE really had to go when he did! Couldn’t afford someone like THAT ruining my BRILLIANT plans! Could I?” (End Confessional) Skipper says: “There are Kaput, and Oonski!” Bulma says: “What a couple of LOUSES!” Patrick says: “You said it! I wouldn’t want EITHER of THOSE guys hanging around in THIS competition, and THAT is the HONEST truth!” (Confessional) Bulma says: “I would have LIKED to keep Kaput and Oonski on, but they were no longer USEFUL to me! That’s the reason why THEY had to go! It was just survival of the fittest, I guess!” / Patrick says: “Kaput was a saboteur, and Oonski was just a big JERK! I’m glad THOSE two guys are OUT of the competition!” (End Confessional)

 

Suzie says: “There is Angelica Pickles AGAIN, and Otto Rocket!” Bulma says: “Birds of a feather, should get ELIMINATED together!” Reggie seriously says: “That’s my BEST friend and my BROTHER you’re talking about! Who do you think you ARE, talking SMACK like that?!” Bulma seriously says: “It’s not MY fault Angelica let herself be possessed by Dai Shi, and go freaking DRAGON on everyone! I wouldn’t want her in this competition any more than the REST of you guys!” Captain Retro says: “I sure hope THAT is true!” (Confessional) Reggie seriously says: “It is official! Bratty broad, has GOT to go! NOBODY talks smack about the two people in the WORLD who are the CLOSEST in MY heart, to ME! She is going DOWN!” / Bulma says: “Reggie doesn’t have a shot! I have the brains, and all SHE has is MUSCLES!!!!” (End Confessional) Patrick says: “There is Sanjay, and Heffer Wolfe!” Captain Retro says: “They were two fun guys! I can’t BELIEVE that Blonda was RESPONSIBLE for THEIR eliminations!” Bulma nervously says: “Right! Blonda was TOTALLY responsible for their eliminations, and no one else!” (Confessional) Bulma gasps and she says: “That little SNEAK!!!! I know what Captain Retro is TRYING to do! He’s trying to get me MAD, by saying that little nothing BLONDA was responsible for certain ELIMINATIONS! If I wasn’t SO well composed, that might ACTUALLY have a chance to WORK!” / Captain Retro says: “I’m just trying to get under Bulma’s skin as MUCH as I can! ANYTHING I can do to unnerve her performance, will make it EASIER for me to bring Bulma to JUSTICE!” (End Confessional) Suzie says: “There is Globitha, and Robot Default!” Reggie says: “They were such a SWEET couple! They didn’t DESERVE to leave together!” Bulma says: “Nobody FORCED Robot Default to quit! He did THAT on his own!” Captain Retro says: “That might be true, but that STILL didn’t GIVE Blonda any REASON to eliminate GLOBITHA the way she did!” Bulma seriously says: “STOP TALKING ABOUT HER!!!!” Captain Retro asks: “Any specific REASON as to why I should?!” Bulma sputters and says: “Because it’s in the PAST! Let us move on!”

 

(Confessional) Reggie says: “Robot was ROBBED of his chance to get into the Final Five! And I’m SURE that Bulma did it! I’m not going to let BULMA do the same thing to ME; that she did to THEM!” / Bulma angrily says: “I HATE that little Blonda! Hate, hate, HATE!!!! It’s no longer enough for me to simply DESTROY Blonda, I’m going to destroy her WHOLE PATHETIC reputation! If ANYONE is going to take care of things around HERE, it’s going to be ME!” / Captain Retro says: “It seems I’ve struck a nerve! Bulma is TORN, between letting other people BELIEVE that someone else is responsible, and WANTING to be seen as the most IMPORTANT contestant in this competition! It seems that BLONDA is the key to REALLY unnerving Bulma though, so I’m going to USE that, as MUCH as I can!” (End Confessional) Chameleon says: “There’s Kaput, AGAIN!!!!” Skipper says: “You can’t trust THAT guy as far as you can throw him! And I can probably throw him pretty FAR!!!!” Bulma says: “I’d actually LIKE to see that!” Skipper sarcastically says: “I’m so SURE you would!” (Confessional) Skipper says: “Bulma’s not fooling ME with her false sincerities! I know she’s just trying to get on my GOOD side, in order to make ME forget all about what SHE did to Marlene! Guess WHAT; Bulma?! It’s NEVER going to WORK!!!!” / Bulma says: “So Skipper wants to play HARDBALL, does HE?! Well, I’m more than HAPPY to OBLIGE him!” (End Confessional) Patrick says: “There’s Buhdeuce, and King Julien!” Bulma scoffs and says: “Some KING!!!! He can’t even take care of himself, let alone any of his FRIENDS! And what kind of a name is BUHDEUCE, anyways?!” Captain Retro asks: “What kind of a name is ‘Bulma’?” Bulma screams: “I’ll have you know it’s a VERY lovely NAME!!!! Far LOVELIER than any NAME BLONDA has ever HAD!!!!” Captain Retro says: “I didn’t even MENTION Blonda THAT time! What did SHE ever DO to you, anyways?!” Bulma says: “Blonda didn’t have to do ANYTHING! She was just a DUMB little DUMB BUTT, and that’s ALL she can EVER be!” Captain Retro sarcastically says: “Sorry I asked!” (Confessional) Bulma seriously says: “I HATE this freaking WALK!!!! It’s taking FAR too LONG!!!! Who has 52 WHOLE episodes in a single season, ANYWAYS?!!!” / Captain Retro says: “I know what kind of name ‘Bulma’ IS! It’s a Japanese SLANG term for ‘Bloomers!’ And if my guess is correct, there is SOMETHING about that fact; that BULMA is NOT that HAPPY about! If I knew what it was, I would tell EVERYONE what it was, and we could END this whole façade, right here and NOW!” (End Confessional)

 

Suzie says: “There’s Phoebe, and Monster!” Bulma says: “I couldn’t care LESS about Phoebe if I tried! But Monster never had a CHANCE to live up to HIS full potential!” Reggie asks: “You mean as a stupid PAWN in an ALLIANCE of yours?!” Bulma screams: “He would have been a VALUED member in an ALLIANCE of mine if BLONDA didn’t get MAD at him!” Reggie sarcastically says: “I am SO sure of that!” (Confessional) Bulma says: “Reggie was right about ONE thing; he WOULD have been a PAWN in an alliance of mine, but I certainly wouldn’t have called him STUPID! Naïve, maybe! But certainly not STUPID!” / Reggie says: “Bulma isn’t going to be fooling ME; not ONE little BIT!” (End Confessional) Chameleon says: “There’s Spongebob Squarepants!” Bulma says: “AKA, the one guy who is going to make SURE that Skipper NEVER wins the $44.44 million prize! You REALLY shot yourself in the foot, THAT time!” Skipper asks: “Is it too late to just admit that I’m SORRY already?!” Patrick says: “I wouldn’t forgive you if I were Spongebob! You messed up BIG time!” (Confessional) Patrick says: “Skipper needed to hear the HARD truth! And since he can’t hear it from Spongebob, I had to step in for him!” / Skipper asks: “Why is it that nearly EVERYTHING I have done this season, has been the most BLATANTLY wrong thing for ME to do this season?! Am I really THAT impulsive?!” / Bulma says: “Skipper is SO that impulsive! And I ought to know! I played him like a harp in BOTH of his eliminations! And it will be so EASY for ME to do it AGAIN!” (End Confessional) Captain Retro says: “There’s Blonda, and Larry!” Bulma scoffs and says: “Her real name isn’t BLONDA! It’s RIO!” Captain Retro says: “You just LOVE to take down Blonda for no apparent reason, DON’T you?!” Bulma genuinely says: “It’s a gift!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “I am SO glad that Blonda IRRITATED Bulma the way she did! It would’ve been DANGEROUS if the two of THEM had teamed up together!” / Bulma says: “Pretentious, snobby, snot-nosed personalities like Blonda have no BUSINESS being in a competition like this! That’s why I HAD to get rid of her!” (End Confessional)

 

Chameleon says: “There’s Taotie, and Tigress!” Bulma says: “FINALLY! We’re getting to the contestants who actually HAD some game this season!” Skipper says: “I doubt even REGGIE could’ve competed against Tigress! We were sure lucky the elimination is automatic, or Tigress would’ve gotten REALLY mad at her fellow contestants!” Reggie says: “It’s not always the fastest or the STRONGEST contestant who wins; it’s whoever has the most heart and soul! And Suzie and I, we BOTH have lots of heart and soul!” Suzie says: “I agree to THAT!” (Confessional) Reggie says: “Tigress was a GOOD contestant! I would RATHER she had stayed on! I would’ve liked to see where I stacked up AGAINST her in terms of athletic skills!” / Bulma scoffs, and she says: “Tigress was WAY too good! If Tigress didn’t take HERSELF out in order to get rid of Taotie, my plans would’ve been in deep DOO-DOO by now!” (End Confessional) Patrick says: “There’s Randolph himself!” Bulma says: “He LITERALLY, had no point at ALL in this season!” Captain Retro says: “Through no fault of his own! YOU try following all the different stories for 58 different contestants! It’s not as easy as it looks!” Bulma sarcastically says: “I am SO sure!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “It’s not that Randolph wasn’t interesting, he just wasn’t as interesting as all the OTHER contestants who were on this season!” / Bulma says: “Randolph was SO stubborn! Wouldn’t even LEAVE until I gave him $4,000 as a consolation prize! The JERK!” (End Confessional) Suzie says: “There is Daggett, and Norbert!” Reggie says: “The beaver brothers themselves! MAN! I sure do MISS having THEM around!” Bulma says: “I miss THEM like I would MISS a DISEASE!!!!” Skipper angrily says: “I wish YOU would get hit by a DISEASE!” Bulma screams: “WHAT?!!!” Skipper seriously says: “YOU heard what I said!” (Confessional) Reggie says: “Norbert is the type of guy who can play a good game! Certainly better than any game BULMA can play!” / Skipper says: “I’m THROUGH being subtle with Bulma! I’m letting her know EXACTLY what she DESERVES to have HAPPEN to her!” / Bulma seriously says: “Skipper is going DOWN! Skipper is going DOWN! Skipper is going DOWN!!!!” (End Confessional) Chameleon says: “There is Gonard!” Bulma says: “He is LITERALLY, one of the FEW contestants I MISS having around!” Captain Retro seriously says: “If ONLY Zarbon had decided to play FAIR, and NOT try to take ME out, Gonard might STILL be here!” Bulma says: “Zarbon can’t be controlled! I know that better than ANYBODY!!!!” (Confessional)

 

Bulma seriously says: “It’s ALL the fault of Anti-Timmy! If it weren’t for HIS meddling, Captain Retro would be GONE!!!! And NOBODY would be able to STOP me!” / Captain Retro says: “I think it is SO ironic that as soon as Gonard HELPED me uncover the dirt on Bulma, Gonard THEN gets taken out of the game! I guess real life IS sometimes stranger than fiction!” (End Confessional) Skipper says: “There is Po! MAN! That panda was impressive!” Bulma says: “I wouldn’t want to be alone with HIM for an extended period of time! I can’t PREDICT what he’s going to do!” Skipper says: “That’s what I liked about him! He was SO spontaneous!” (Confessional) Bulma says: “Being unpredictable, is NOT what I signed up for when I entered this show! I had to eliminate Po because I couldn’t get a HANDLE on him! So Po really only has HIMSELF to blame for no longer BEING on this show!” / Skipper says: “I find that by being unpredictable, it makes it a LOT harder for my adversaries to predict what I’m going to do! And if they don’t know WHAT to expect, I can always find ways to SURPRISE them!” (End Confessional) Captain Retro says: “There is Dog, and Stimpy! They were two of my best friends this season!” Bulma says: “Dog and Stimpy are like, friends with EVERYBODY!” Captain Retro says: “EXCEPT for you!” Bulma says: “Their loss! They are gone, and I am STILL here!” Patrick says: “UNFORTUNATELY!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “I know that Dog and Stimpy are still cheering for us in spirit! Even though they can’t be here WITH us; I know that I will succeed in bringing Bulma to justice for THEM!” / Bulma scoffs and says: “Seriously! YOU would HAVE to be THAT stupid, to not REALIZE just how beneficial it would be to become friends with me! I am the most PERFECT person in the ENTIRE universe! And I don’t SHARE!” (End Confessional) Skipper says: “There is Marlene! Sweet, SWEET Marlene! I miss you SO much!!!!” Bulma seriously says: “If you miss her so much, why don’t you do everyone here a HUGE, gigantic favor, and VOTE yourself OFF?!!!” Skipper says: “And miss my chance to cream YOU in a challenge?! Not on your LIFE!”

 

(Confessional) Skipper says: “Don’t get me wrong! Not having Marlene around has been pretty hard for me! But getting to eliminate Bulma, will MORE than make up for Marlene’s absence! And getting into the Final Five will be pretty sweet in itself!” / Bulma disgustedly says: “The way that Skipper misses Marlene is DISGUSTING!!!! HE makes me SICK!!!! Sick, sick, sick, sick, SICK!!!! I’ve practically got DIABETES from all his saccharine sweetness! I will feel SO healthy when I finally eliminate HIM for GOOD!” (End Confessional) Captain Retro says: “There is Wally! Loyal and trustworthy until the very end!” Bulma says: “Loyalty doesn’t BUY you a slot in the Final Five! Sheer BRAIN power does!” Captain Retro asks: “Bulma, when will you EVER learn that the more you tear down EVERYONE else, the more you will SINK below EVERYONE else?!” Bulma scoffs, and she says: “I know what I’m DOING!!!! I ALWAYS know what I’m doing! That’s what makes ME the BEST!!!! And I will BE the best! So just STAY out of my WAY!!!! I don’t have TIME to deal with the likes of YOU!!!!” (Confessional)

 

Captain Retro says: “One thing I’ve learned from my time on here, is that insecurity, is ALWAYS the last refuge of the INCOMPETANT!” / Bulma angrily says: “Why aren’t my genius, insults WORKING?!!! Am I losing my touch?! Am I getting RUSTY?! What IS it?!!!” (End Confessional) Reggie says: “There’s my loyal husband, Rocko! He’s the ONLY contestant from season one to make it into the top ten in three seasons straight, every SINGLE time!” Bulma says: “I just wish he had the courage to actually FACE getting eliminated, like a REAL man!” Reggie seriously says: “What Rocko DID, he did it out of LOVE to me! Which is a concept that I’m SURPRISED that someone like YOU doesn’t understand! Bulma says: “I understand it! I just think it is ENTIRELY pointless!” Suzie seriously says: “THAT is why you will FAIL!” (Confessional) Bulma says: “I could be all lovey-dovey like Reggie and Suzie; and I could have ALSO gotten eliminated in the very FIRST team challenge elimination that I ever FACED! So THAT was NEVER going to HAPPEN!” / Reggie says: “What I’ve learned from my experience as a contestant, is that when you don’t take the time to understand something, you will INEVITABLY be DEFEATED by it! EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!!” / Suzie says: “I’m not just playing for ME, I’m playing for Otto! That’s why I KNOW that I will do better than Bulma, and that’s the HONEST truth!” (End Confessional)

 

Chameleon says: “There’s my loyal best friend Dudley! He sure knew how to have a good time!” Skipper waits, and he asks: “WHAT?! No witty comment from BULMA?!!!” Bulma says: I don’t have to MAKE one! That stupid LOOK on Dudley’s FACE does it all FOR me!” Chameleon seriously says: “You’re going to WISH you never said that!” Bulma seriously says: “That will be the day!” (Confessional) Chameleon says: “And with that, I have OFFICIALLY lost all the remaining RESPECT that I USED to have for Bulma as a contestant, AND as a PERSON!” / Bulma says: “Dudley was such a JOKE compared to me! I’m glad I don’t have to deal with HIS quirky personality anymore!” / Skipper says: “I would PREFER Dudley’s quirky personality, more than I prefer Bulma’s LOUSY personality!” (End Confessional) Captain Retro says: “And last but not least, Zarbon!” Bulma scoffs, and she says: “Good riddance to BAD rubbish!” Captain Retro seriously says: “You know Zarbon is not going to be incapacitated FOREVER, Bulma! He WILL heal, and he WILL come back to give you SUCH a thrashing!” Bulma says: “I’ve already thought of that! That’s why I have Vegeta on SPEED dial, so he will ALWAYS protect THIS brainy beauty!” Captain Retro sarcastically says: “Yeah, always get someone ELSE to fight your battles FOR you! I guess that IS what you’re truly best at, ISN’T it?! You’re no genius; you’re just a lousy, self-serving witch who can’t even make it through a SINGLE challenge without someone else to HELP you!” Bulma seriously says: “That DOES it, Mr. POPULARITY!!!! How much do you want to BET; my brain can run CIRCLES around you?!!!” (Confessional) Captain Retro smiles, and he says: “And with that, I have FINALLY gotten into Bulma’s head! Now she won’t THINK straight; she will be completely obsessed with trying to prove ME wrong! And THAT will be her downfall!” / Bulma seriously says: “I’ll show Captain Retro what I’m CAPABLE of! I can WIN this entire FREAKING challenge; ALL by my FREAKING brainy SELF!!!! That will show that smug canine once and for ALL!!!!” (End Confessional)

 

And the contestants FINALLY make it back to the airplane, near the town of Puerto Villamil. Sniz says: “You’re all back! I hope you all enjoyed your time reflecting on your time as a contestant here!” Patrick says: “I think SOME of us enjoyed it more than others!” Sniz says: “Now it’s time to reveal the challenge, that will determine which one of you, will win a valuable reward! It’s an advantage, for the next challenge! So here’s the challenge for today! Do you see that tiny island over there, a few miles away? That tiny island is called Tortuga! All you have to do, is to race from here, to there! Once there, grab a tortoise egg to PROVE that you didn’t take any shortcuts, than race right back here! The contestant who has the FASTEST time AND who comes back with an egg, will win the reward for the next challenge! And before I forget, there’s a certain matter that we have to take care of!” (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep! Captain Retro says: “That is music to my ears!” Sniz says: “And SINGING to the ears of everyone else! While you’re rowing, you will all pass the time by singing a hit song! And for an ADDED challenge, it must be a hit song that was made BIG by Linda Ronstadt!” Captain Retro says: “Don’t worry! I have the PERFECT song in mind!” / Genre: Rock. Sub-genre: Linda Ronstadt. Song: “You’re No Good.” Sung by: The cast! / During the song montage, the contestants are rowing, than struggling to GET a tortoise egg from the WILD wildlife ATTACKING them, than trying to row back as FAST as they can! /

 

Bulma, about Zarbon: “Feeling better, now that we're through!” Captain Retro, about Marlene: “Feeling better, because I'm over you! I've learned my lesson, it left a scar.” Skipper, about Bulma: “Now I see how you really are!” All contestants EXCEPT Bulma: “You're no good, you're no good, you're no good; baby, you're no good!” Reggie: “I'm gonna say it again!” All contestants EXCEPT Bulma: “You're no good, you're no good, you're no good; baby, you're no good!” Suzie, about Angelica: “I broke a heart, that's gentle and true.” Skipper to Suzie: “Well, I broke a heart over someone like you.” Chameleon, about Dudley: “I'll beg for his forgiveness on a bended knee! I wouldn't blame him if he said to me, you're no good; you're no good, you're no good; baby, you're no good!” Patrick: “I'm gonna say it again!” All contestants EXCEPT Bulma: “You're no good, you're no good, you're no good; baby, you're no good!”
(Musical Interlude)

 

Bulma: “I'm telling you now baby, that I'm going my way!” (Captain Retro GETS his egg and pulls ahead of everyone else!) Captain Retro, to Bulma: “Forget about me baby, because I'm winning this day! You're no good, you're no good; you're no good! Baby, you're no good!” Reggie: “I'm gonna say it again!” All contestants EXCEPT Bulma: “You're no good, you're no good, you're no good; baby, you're no good!” Suzie: “Oh, oh, no!” All contestants EXCEPT Bulma: “You're no good, you're no good, you're no good; baby, you're no good!” / And the epic song ends as Captain Retro REACHES the shore first! Sniz says: “And it is ALL over! Captain Retro has WON the reward! An advantage for the next challenge! Captain Retro wins a SEVEN shooter pistol, a sturdy lasso, and will get the best horse in the next challenge, which will be an old-fashioned Western showdown at the OK Corral!” Bulma asks: “So what do the REST of us get?!” Sniz says: “The rest of you will have to make do with a six shooter pistol, a rope of SUSPICIOUS quality, and a horse that is NOT as reliable as the best horse! Enjoy the plane ride to the OK Corral, because TODAY, was the LAST Reward Challenge, for the ENTIRE season!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “So we’re heading for an ACTUAL showdown! It seems like poetic justice will be playing a part in the downfall of Bulma Briefs! I just hope that my advantage will be enough, to help me PREVAIL in this challenge!” / Bulma says: “I SUCKED in today’s challenge! Those wild animals were too…WILD!!!! And I couldn’t row fast enough even if it was to SAVE my life! I’m starting to think that maybe getting RID of Zarbon, wasn’t the best move for me to make AFTER all!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “We still have seven contestants left, but any ONE of them could become the NEXT contestant to take the DREADED Drop of Shame! Find out who it will be on the next EXCITING episode, of Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” / Epilogue: Bulma Briefs and Captain Retro sing THEIR version of a 1988 hit song, by comparing themselves to historical figures throughout history. Bulma Briefs compares herself to mostly NEGATIVE figures, while Captain Retro compares himself to mostly POSITIVE figures! /

 

Genre: Alternative metal. Sub-genre: Rock. Song: “Cult of Personality.” Sung by: Captain Retro and Bulma! / Captain Retro: “Look in my eyes, what do, you see? The cult of personality!” Bulma: “I know your anger, I know your dreams! I've been everything you want to be! I'm the cult of personality! Like Vladimir!” Captain Retro: “And DeGrasse!” Bulma and Captain Retro: “I'm the cult of personality! The cult of personality! The cult of personality!” Bulma: “Neon lights!” Captain Retro: “Nobel Prize!” Bulma: “When a mirror speaks, the reflection lies!” Captain Retro: “You won't have to follow me! Only you can set me free!” Bulma: “I sell the things you need to be!” Captain Retro: “I'm the smiling face on your TV!” Bulma: “I'm the cult of personality! I exploit you!” Captain Retro: “Still, you love me!” Bulma: “I tell you one and one makes three! I'm the cult of personality! Like Donald Trump!” Captain Retro: “And Paul McCartney!” Bulma and Captain Retro: “I'm the cult of personality! The cult of personality! The cult of personality!” Bulma: “Neon lights!” Captain Retro: “A Nobel Prize! When a leader speaks, that leader dies! You won't have to follow me! Only you can set you free!” (Rocking guitar solo) Bulma, about her father: “You gave me fortune, you gave me fame!” Captain Retro, about Marlene: “You gave me power in your God's name! I'm every person you need to be!” Bulma and Captain Retro: “I'm the cult of personality! I am the cult of—I am the cult of—I am the cult of—I am the cult of—I am the cult of—I am the cult of personality!” Bulma: “Ask NOT what your country can do for you!” (Musical finish!) Captain Retro: “The only thing we have to fear is, FEAR itself!” / And the epic song ends! /

Episode Notes: This is mostly a clip-show recap episode, in order to reflect on the events of the past 44 episodes, and of “Total Cartoon Global Cruise” so far! Featured songs in this episode, are “Little Lies, Cult of Personality,” and “You’re No Good;” the LAST song is also the same as the episode title! First time that Bulma Briefs has EVER questioned her own ability in making a CORRECT decision! / Personal Notes: No personal notes THIS time, and no hints whatsoever! You’ll just have to figure out just WHO is going down, on the NEXT episode of “Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” / That’s my episode idea for THIS time! Enough said, true believers!

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Weekend at Ebony's

Nighttime in Coastal Falls, and the Rangers (along with Bash and Smash) were headed to Ebony's house to spend the weekend. Each of the Rangers were dressed in their respective color, while Bash and Smash were dressed in leather jackets and blue jeans. Ebony looked at her friends and smiled, her perfect white teeth glistening. "Thanks for spending the weekend with me, guys." she said.

"Thanks for inviting us." said Naruto.

"Yeah." said Toby. "It's certainly better than polishing my Pokeballs."

"Oh, Toby." said Usagi, giggling.

"...Why are Bash and Smash here?" Lettuce asked.

"...Because Blackhawk invited them?" Pinkie guessed, bouncing along next to Lettuce.

Blackhawk and D.O.G., meanwhile were busy talking about what they might do.

"I have never been to a witch's house before." said D.O.G. "I hope it isn't scary."

"Don't worry." Blackhawk said, laughing. "Ebony will protect us."

D.O.G. began laughing as well, but stopped when he realized what Blackhawk meant. "Hey..." he protested.

Meanwhile on the Diabolic, Amazoness had come up with a plan to destroy the Rangers; her first, in fact. "My majesties," she began, turning to Diabolica and Hedrian. "it seems that all of your plans have been failures so far."

"That is correct." Diabolica grumbled irritably.

"Yes." Hedrian agreed. "Your point, Amazoness?"

"My point ia," Amazoness continued, taking an egg from the chamber. "that instead of sending down a monster, we bring the monster to the Rangers."

"Interesting." Queen Hedrian observed. "You plan to use the egg you're holding?" Amazoness nodded.

"Zombee." the second-in-command answered.

"Yes, I remember now." said Hedrian. "The Rangers will bee in for a big surprise when they fight him!" At this, Diabolica burst into gleeful laughter, along with Hedrian and Amazoness. Once it died down, Amazoness disappeared, Zombee's egg in hand. From within a corner, Banriki polished a sword, glaring at Hedrian when she wasn't looking.

"Yes...there will be a big surprise, Hedrian..." he muttered lowly so that she couldn't hear. "Your downfall."

Back at Ebony's house, everyone had settled into the living room, with Ebony and Blackhawk sitting on the couch, and everyone else sitting on the floor in groups of two: Toby and Usagi, Lettuce and Pinkie, Bash and Smash. D.O.G. laid on Blackhawk's lap, snoozing as the latter scratched his neck. "So..." Ebony said. "What do you guys want to do?"

"I dunno..." Blackhawk replied. "Wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure." said Ebony. "What do you guys wanna watch?"

Each of the others responded with varying answers. "Horror!" said Blackhawk.

"Comedy!" said Usagi and Toby.

"Musical!" Lettuce and Pinkie piped up.

"Action!" shouted Bash and Smash.

"Hmm..." Ebony pondered, pulling out her wand. "I think I have a movie that has a little bit of everything." Using Accio, she levitated a copy of The Nightmare Before Christmas.

"Now that that's settled..." Bash said. "Wanna get some takeout?"

"Sure." said Lettuce. "I'd cook, but this is supposed to be a relaxing weekend."

As the eight watched the film and ate pizza, Amazoness laid against one of the walls outside, blending into the night. Digging a small hole, Amazoness buried Zombee's egg, and lay in wait with a grin.

At the climax of the movie, Ebony and Blackhawk began to make out, much to the amusement of all besides Bash and Smash. "Don't laugh, guys." Bash chided. "Just let them have their moment."

As if sensing something, D.O.G. raised his head, and jumped off of Blackhawk's lap, nose raised in the air as if he were sniffing. Noticing this, Blackhawk pulled away from kissing Ebony and asked, "What is it, boy?"

"I'm not sure." said D.O.G. "I smell something." Following his canine companion, Blackhawk went to the spot on Ebony's lawn where Amazoness had been not long before. Digging a small hole, D.O.G. uncovered what lay beneath: the egg, which began to hatch. What emerged was a humanoid bee, about the size of a Beedrill, with a decayed yellow hue to his skin. "I knew something was wrong!" shouted D.O.G. "...The question is, how did a Hedrian Monster get here?" That was when Amazoness appeared from the shadows, a wicked grin on her face.

"I see you discovered my little surprise. Prepare to meet your doom, Orange Ranger. Once you're gone, Queen Hedrian can claim the Orange Ruby for herself!" She failed to notice that the other Rangers, along with Bash and Smash, had arrived to see what was going on. "Oh, goody. More playmates." Summoning a squadron of Imp Dusters, Amazoness sent them to attack.

"IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!" Blackhawk said. "SPINOSAURUS!"

"VELOCIRAPTOR!"

"ANKYLOSAURUS!"

"TRICERATOPS!"

"STEGOSAURUS!"

"HADROSAURUS!"

"TYRANNOSAURUS!"

The seven posed, and declared, "POWER RANGERS!" Charging at the Imp Dusters, the Rangers swiftly took them out. Bash and Smash simply watched, flabbergasted at the revelation that they now knew who the Power Rangers were. Once the Imp Dusters were down for the count, the main five Rangers summoned the Thunderslingers, firing them at Zombee, who fell back, damaged.

"AIM FOR THE HEAD!" Ebony reminded them. "That's the only way to stop a zombie!" Nodding, the Rangers armed their weapons, and fired directly at Zombee's head, which exploded. Rather than the body exploding with it, a loud buzzing was heard. "...Anyone else hear that?" Ebony asked.

"Yeah..." said Blackhawk. "It sounds like..."

"BEES!" Toby shouted, pointing as Zombee's skin came off like a suit, revealing an entire hive's worth of bees was inside, slowly forming into a new body.

"Just like in the movie!" Pinkie said. "Remember!?"

"Pinkie's right!" Lettuce said. "Oogie Boogie was just a large bug colony with a skin sack!'

"That means that there must be a queen controlling the swarm." said Naruto. "We have to destroy it with our Power Weapons!"

"Right!" said the others.

"WATER AX!"

"DIAMOND BOOMERANG!"

"EARTH MACE!"

"WIND STAFF!"

"FIRE BLADE!"

"SHADOW DAGGERS!"

"ELECRTIC SABER!"

Combining their weapons with the Thunderslingers, the Ultra Power Blaster Cannon was formed. As the Zombee-Hive rushed forward, the team fired, striking it dead-on and setting it aflame. The swarm fell, finally exploding as per usual. With a growl, Amazoness teleported away.

Back on the Diabolic, Banriki had decided he would covertly strike, under the pretense of discussing a new plan with Hedrian. "So," said Hedrian. "what is this plan?"

"I plan to take on the Rangers myself. I will not send down a monster like we've been doing." said Banriki, slowly unsheathing his sword, ready for the kill.

"Ah, excellent." Hedrian said happily. "See to it that you succeed."

"Do not worry, my love..." Banriki said, a traitorous smirk on his face. "...with you out of the way, I will." With a loud shriek, Banriki struck Hedrian...or would have, had Amazoness not teleported between them and grabbed his arm. "W-wha..." he stammered, then felt a jolting pain as his arm was twisted out of its socket, followed by the other one. Next, Amazoness took Banriki's sword and proceeded to cut off his legs, causing profusive bleeding. Doing the same to Banriki's arms, both she and Hedrian watched the severly crippled barbarian slowly die of blood loss.

"Wait," said Hedrian, pulling a small vial from her robes. "I don't want him to die. Not yet, at least." Pouring the liquid onto what was left of the now-barely alive Banriki, she smirked. "You will get your chance to battle the Rangers, Banriki...as one of my monsters." At once, Banriki's skin began to harden and twist into an egg-like shape, becoming blinding white. In the timespan of a minute, Banriki was now a Monster Egg, and was placed inside the hatchery by Amazoness.

"Karma's a bitch." the latter remarked, Hedrian nodding as she laughed with glee.

At Ebony's house, the Rangers were discussing what to do with Bash and Smash now that they knew of their secret. It was a while before Ebony came up with an idea. "Hey, Bash and Smash. Wanna see a magic trick?" she asked, pulling out her wand. They nodded, and Ebony shouted "OBLIVATE!" In a bright flash, the duo looked around.

"...Is the movie over already?" Bash asked.

"Yeah. It was pretty good." Smash replied.

"What, exactly, did you do?" Blackhawk asked.

"Memory Charm." Ebony answered. "Removed their memory of us being Rangers." She was then pulled into another kiss by Blackhawk, who smirked once it was broken.

"Have I ever told you that I love you?" he asked rhetorically.

"Yep." she said, kissing him again as the Rangers went to join Bash and Smash in finishing off the rest of the pizza.

[4EverGreen]

To reinvigorate life into my "One Shot Stories" topic, I have decided to re-run "Total Drama Presents Beauty and the Beast!" Here are the first three Acts of the story, I hope you enjoy it! /

Narrator/Cogsworth-Noah. / Monseuir De Arque (the Insane Asylum Owner)-Ezekiel.

Prince Adam-Geoff. / The Hairdresser-D.J.

Old Beggar Woman-Eva. / The Angry Mob-Courtney, Duncan, Topher, Dave, Jacques, Josse, Taylor.

Beautiful Enchantress-Heather.

The Beast-Sasquatchanakwa (Geoff in disguise).

Belle-Bridgette. Various Townspeople/Enchanted Objects-Tyler, Izzy, Blainely, Cody, Beth, Owen, Sierra, Don, Anne Maria.

Book Store Owner-Harold. / Song list: “Belle/Bridgette.”

Gaston-Alejandro Buerromeurto. / “Belle/Bridgette Reprise.”

Lefou-Scott. / “Gaston/Alejandro.”

The Bimbettes-Katie, Sadie, and Lindsay. / “Gaston/Alejandro Reprise.”

Maurice-Chris Maclean. / “Be Our Guest.”

Phillippe-Ace the Donkey. / “Something There.”

Lumierre-Trent. / “Beauty and the Beast.”

Footstool-The Cute Baby Seal. / “Kill the Beast!”

Mrs. Potts-LaShawna. / “Beauty and the Beast (End Theme).”

Chip-Cameron.

Feather Duster-Gwen.

Tom, Dick, and Stanley (Gaston’s Supporters)-Justin, Max, and Mal.

Wardrobe-Jasmine.

The Stove-Chef Hatchet.

Total Drama: Beauty and the Beast

Prologue/Intro:                Noah comes on-stage and says: “Thank you audience for coming to our humble little auditorium to witness our production of Beauty and the Beast. First off, I’d like to give a big shout out to Beardo for providing the sound effects, Leonard and Tammy for their lighting effects and wonderful art design, and of course, Blainely for giving us access to her many wonderful costumes. I’d just like to state that while we WERE given permission to sing parody versions of the songs for this production, for LEGAL reasons, we had to come up with our OWN script for this story. Hopefully, you won’t notice TOO much! Anyways, we hope you enjoy watching our play; enjoy!”

Classical music plays, and Noah narrates: “Once upon a time, somewhere in 18^th century France, where EVERYBODY speaks English for some reason, a Young Prince was in charge of a big, bright castle, and his parents were nowhere to be found, mainly because this is a DISNEY production! For a family-friendly company, they sure don’t have a lot of FAMILIES! Anyways, the Young Prince, named Adam, had everything a prince could want, but he was spoiled, selfish, and un-kind. He definitely wasn’t raised right, that’s for sure. Anyways, everything changed one night, when an old beggar woman came to the Prince’s Castle.”

Eva says: “Please, let me in! Give me shelter from the bitter cold, and I’ll give you this rose, in exchange!” Noah narrates: “But the Prince was repulsed by the haggard appearance of this woman.” Geoff says: “No! Be gone from my humble abode, and go plague another castle!” Eva says: “Do not be deceived by appearances. Beauty can be found within!” Geoff says: “Fie, I say! A pox on you, and a pox on ALL your relatives!” Noah narrates: “But what the Prince couldn’t know, is that the Elderly Woman was actually a Beautiful Enchantress in disguise; and she was a MASTER of changing the fates of anyone who spurned her!” Eva transforms into Heather, and Heather says: “How DARE you refuse a woman of MY stature?!” Noah narrates: “Embarrassed, the Prince DESPERATELY begged for some forgiveness!” Geoff says: “Please, PLEASE show mercy on me!” Heather says: “It’s too late! You have shown me that there is no love in your heart! As punishment, you shall be transformed into a hideous BEAST!!!!” Geoff cries: “No, NO!!!!” The lights go out, and Prince Adam is transformed into a hideous beast! Noah narrates: “In addition to placing a spell on the Prince, the Enchantress placed her spell on his entire castle, and EVERYONE who lived there. The Prince was ashamed of his hideous form, so he locked himself away in his castle. His only way of knowing what was happening in the outside world, was a Magic Mirror, sort of a predecessor to the Television. And the Rose the Enchantress had offered, was an enchanted one. The Rose was one that would bloom for ten years, until the Prince was 21. If, by that time, the Prince could learn to love another, and earn her love in return, before the rose lost all its petals, the spell would be broken. If he failed, he would be cursed to live as a beast for his whole life. As the years passed, the Beast sank further into despair, losing all sense of hope. After all, who could ever learn to love a beast? Let’s find out!” /

Act One, Scene One: Bridgette.          A young, blonde-haired woman of 18 walks out of her farm-house, and heads towards the local village. As she does, the musical stings of a song begins playing. Bridgette: “Little town, it's a quiet village, every day, like the one before. Little town, full of little people waking up to say…” Townspeople: “Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!” Bridgette: “There goes the baker with his tray, like always, the same old bread and rolls to sell. Every morning just the same since the morning that we came to this poor, provincial town.” Cody: “Good Morning, Bridgette!” Bridgette: “Morning, Monsieur!” Cody: “Where are you off to?” Bridgette: “The bookshop. I just finished the most wonderful story about a beanstalk and an ogre.” Cody: “That's nice. Anne Marie, the baguettes! Hurry up!” Townspeople: “Look, there she goes, that girl is strange, no question. Dazed and distracted, can't you tell? Never part of any crowd because her head's up on some cloud. No denying she's a funny girl, Bridgette.” Tyler: “Bonjour!” Beth: “Good day!” Tyler: “How is your family?” Taylor: “Bonjour.” Don: “Good day!” Taylor: “How’s your third wife?!” Sierra: “I need six eggs!” Izzy: “That's too expensive!” Bridgette: “There must be more than this provincial life!” Harold: “Ah, Bridgette.” Bridgette: “Good Morning. I've come to return the book I borrowed.” Harold: “Finished already?” Bridgette: “Oh, I couldn't put it down. Have you got anything new?” Harold: “Not since yesterday.” Bridgette: “That's all right. I'll borrow, this one.” Harold: “That one? But you've read it twice!” Bridgette: “Well, it's my favorite! Far off places, daring sword fights, magic spells, a prince in disguise!” Harold: “If you like it all that much, it's yours!” Bridgette: “But sir…” Harold: “I insist!” Bridgette: “Well, thank you. Thank you very much!” Townspeople: “Look there she goes, that girl is so peculiar. I wonder if she's feeling well. With a dreamy far-off look and her nose stuck in a book, she’s a puzzle to the rest of us; Bridgette!”

Bridgette: “Wow, isn't this amazing? It's my favorite part because you'll see, here's where she meets Prince Charming; but she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three.” Blainely: “Now it's no wonder that her name means ‘beauty’, her looks have got no parallel.” Owen: “But behind that fair façade, I'm afraid she's rather odd. Very different from the rest of us.” Townspeople: “Yes, nothing like the rest of us. She’s different from the rest of us, Bridgette!” Ducks can be heard flying overhead, a shot is fired and a prop duck falls down, Scott runs to catch it in a bag, but misses it. He picks it up off of the ground, and puts it in the bag, before running to a tall, dark figure. Scott: “Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Alejandro! You're the greatest hunter in the whole world!” Alejandro: “I know.” Scott: “No beast alive stands a chance against you. Ha, ha, ha, and no girl, for that matter!” Alejandro: “It's true, Scott! And I've got my sights set on that one!” And Alejandro points to Bridgette. Scott asks: “Chris Maclean’s step-daughter?” Alejandro: “She's the one, the lucky girl I'm going to marry!” Scott: “But she's…” Alejandro: “The most beautiful girl in town!” Scott: “I know, but…” Alejandro: “That makes her the BEST!!!! And don't I DESERVE the best?!” Scott: “Well, of course! I mean you do, but I don’t know that…” Alejandro: “Right from the moment when I met her, saw her, I said, she's gorgeous, and I fell! In this town, it’s only she who is beautiful as me! So I'm making plans to woo and marry her!” Katie, Sadie, and Lindsay: “Look there, he goes! Isn't he dreamy? Alejandro is just so cute! Be still my heart, I'm hardly breathing! He's such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute!” Various townspeople: “Bonjour. Pardon. Good day. You call this bacon?! What lovely grapes! Some cheese. Ten yards. One pound!” Alejandro: “Excuse me, please let me through!” Various Townspeople: “This bread, is stale. Those fish, they smell! Madame's mistaken!” Bridgette: “There must be more than this provincial life!” Alejandro: “Just watch, I'll make Bridgette my wife!” All townspeople except Bridgette and Alejandro: “Look there she goes, a girl who's strange, but special. A most peculiar mademoiselle. It's a pity and a sin, she doesn't quite fit in, because she really is a funny girl. A beauty, but a funny girl. She really is a funny girl! Bridgette! Bonjour. Bonjour. Bonjour. Bonjour.” Alejandro: “BONJOUR!!!!” Bridgette suddenly stops and turns around, only for the townspeople to disperse to go back to living their normal lives.

(Confessional) Bridgette: “That’s the story of my ‘LIFE’ in this town. It seems like every other day of every other week when I’m minding my own business, just trying to read a book that I REALLY like, there is always a bunch of people who decide to get together and sing a song that makes fun of me behind my back. Go figure!” (End Confessional) Alejandro is standing in front of Bridgette, and Alejandro says: “Good morning, Bridgette.” Bridgette doesn’t even look UP from her book and says: “Bonjour, Alejandro.” And Alejandro SNATCHES the book from her! (Confessional) Alejandro says: “Last time I checked, it was very RUDE to talk to somebody WITHOUT even looking at them!” / Bridgette says: “Last time I checked, it was very RUDE to snatch somebody’s book without even ASKING them if they could have it!” (End Confessional) Bridgette kindly, but firmly asks: “Alejandro, may I PLEASE have my book back?” Alejandro flips through the book, and asks: “How on EARTH can you READ this?! There aren’t any pictures!” Bridgette: “Well, pictures can’t compare to the scenes that I can paint in my imagination.” Alejandro throws Bridgette’s book behind him, and Alejandro says: “Bridgette, you need to get your head OUT of your books and pay attention to more important things in life! Example given, me!” And the Bimbettes sigh in adoration. (Confessional) Alejandro rolls his eyes and says: “I HAD to say something to Bridgette, okay?! I mean, this IS the 18^th century, and good, respectable women in society don’t go walking around, reading books! At least, none of the women I personally know!” /

Bridgette: “You know, this attitude that Alejandro has is precisely WHY women currently don’t have the right to vote! Or even own their own property, for THAT matter!” (End Confessional) Bridgette picks up her book, and dusts it off. Alejandro says: “It’s not just me, it’s the whole town talking about you. When was the last time reading ever accomplished anything for a woman? All reading will get you is…ideas…and…thinking!” Bridgette rolls her eyes and sarcastically says: “Alejandro, you really ARE an old-fashioned thinker!” Alejandro doesn’t get the insult and says: “THANK you! Why don’t we take a stroll down to the root beer pub, and you can take a look at my latest trophies?” Bridgette says: “Maybe later, like, in my NEXT lifetime?!” (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I can tell you right now, my interest level in Alejandro is NIL! There is nothing in the WORLD that can get me interested in him! He’s lucky that I even GIVE him the time of day!” (End Confessional) Bridgette says: “My step-father needs me; I have to help him with his latest invention. Fare well!” Scott says: “What a crazy coot! He’s going to need ALL the help he can get!” Alejandro and Scott BOTH laugh at Chris’ expense, and Bridgette strongly says: “Don’t you DARE insult my step-father like that!” Alejandro SLAPS Scott, and Alejandro says: “Yeah, don’t INSULT Chris Maclean like that!” (Confessional) Alejandro fist-pumps and says: “YES!!!! I think I just scored some brownie points with Bridgette!” / Bridgette says: “AND… with THAT, Alejandro just moved from a three to a zero on my respect-o-meter. Not that anyone’s counting…BESIDES Alejandro!” (End Confessional) Bridgette firmly says: “Chris Maclean is NOT insane, he’s BRILLIANT!!!!” And an EXPLOSION is heard and SEEN at Bridgette’s house, so Bridgette quickly runs back to her place, while Scott and Alejandro resume their laughter at the expense of Chris Maclean. /

Bridgette opens the door to her cellar, and smoke comes out. Bridgette says: “Dad! Are you all right?!” Chris mumbles: “What did I do wrong THAT time?! I had it figured out!” Bridgette asks: “Did you get your calculations wrong?” Chris says: “I’m telling you, I’m almost ready to give up on this sad excuse for a…glockenspiel!!!! And Chris kicks his steam-powered device in anger! (Confessional) Bridgette says: “My step-dad is convinced that steam power is the wave of the future, it’s going to be big! And as his daughter, by way of marriage, it’s my job to support him, no matter what.” (End Confessional) Bridgette says: “Honestly, dad, that’s the fifth time this MONTH you said that!” Chris says: “I’m practically SERIOUS this time! I won’t EVER get this thing-a-ma-jig to WORK!” Bridgette says: “Of course, you will! And you’ll get first prize AND a million dollars for it! Not to MENTION, becoming the world famous INVENTOR you’ve always wanted to be!” And Chris’ eyes light up! (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I’ve known Chris Maclean for the past 12 years of my life, and he’s been my sole provider for a whole decade, now. And the thing to getting Chris inspired, is to give Chris his number one, inspirational motivation; money and the chance for fame!” / Chris says: “I’m sure glad I married Bridgette’s mother, now. Bridgette is not just a good girl, she’s a really good motivational speaker, as well! With her encouragement, I KNOW I can prevail!” (End Confessional) Chris asks: “You really believe that, don’t you?” Bridgette says: “You know I do!” Chris gets down on the ground, and works on his machine again. Chris says: “In that case, we’ll get this thing up and running in no time! I’ll need that dog-legged wrench on the table.” And Bridgette hands him the strange tool. Chris asks: “Did anything eventful happen today in the town?” Bridgette says: “Harold gave me a new book! By the way, do you think I’m…strange?” Chris looks at her, wearing BIG, bug-eyed goggles, and asks: “My step-daughter, strange? Who would give you an insane idea like THAT?!” (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I’m sorry, but when Chris talks to me wearing those weird goggles of his, it is hard for me to take him seriously!”

(End Confessional) Bridgette sighs and says: “It’s probably just vicious rumors, anyways. Even so, I’m not sure if moving to THIS town was the right move, for us. I mean, I can’t even really TALK to anyone around here.” Chris asks: “Not even Alejandro? He’s a fine-looking specimen!” Bridgette says: “And looks are ALL he has! He’s also arrogant, and self-absorbed! I mean, I know it’s the 18^th century, but; come ON!!!! I THINK that I can do a LITTLE better than HIM!” Chris Maclean finishes and gets up. Chris says: “Well, don’t you worry about a thing. Because every little thing is going to be all right! Hmm, there’s a SONG in there, somewhere! But no time to think about that now! It’s time to test my invention, and see if it works!” Chris cranks a lever, and using boiling water, it transforms into steam, which revolves a wheel, which moves an axe to chop a piece of wood, and launches it safely thirty feet to a marked X. Chris exclaims: “I DID it! Think of all the labor this will save for those hard working lumberjacks!” Bridgette says: “It’s the greatest discovery since electricity! What’s next, a cotton gin?!” Chris says: “Maybe for someone else! Let’s get this thing in the wagon and get Ace prepared. I’m going to the fair!” /

Chris is all dressed, and is riding on Ace! Bridgette says: “Good-bye, Chris! Good luck!” Chris says: “Fare well, my daughter! Take care of everything while I’m gone!” The lights dim, and the scene is discreetly taken apart and re-arranged to look like a dark, mysterious forest. /

Act One, Scene Two: The Dark Castle.          Chris Maclean is riding home with Ace, with a second place ribbon, holding an envelope with $100,000 in it. Chris says: “I can’t believe I lost out to Eli Whitney’s Cotton Gin! A COTTON Gin! Is his invention really THAT impressive?! Well, $100,000 is better than nothing. And TRUE visionaries are almost NEVER appreciated in their own time. Besides, I can use the money to send Bridgette to that fancy, American college she’s been eyeing. HOPEFULLY it’s in Canada, and not those United States I’ve been hearing about. THAT country is never going to last! Although, come to think of it, it seems like I’ve been out in these woods for a very, long time. I really should’ve gotten back, by now. Perhaps I missed a turn. It wouldn’t be the first time I…hold on, a minute!” And Chris looks at a road sign with a bunch of different directions, but the words are REALLY worn down and hard to read! Ace also looks, and begins to move, but Chris stops him! Chris says: “Hold on! It’s THIS way!” (Confessional) Ace merely shrugs his shoulders, questioning Chris’ decision. / Chris says: “If there’s one thing that automatically comes with being a GENIUS, is that we ALL have an EXCELLENT sense of direction!” (End Confessional) Ace looks down a DARK, Foggy, FOREBODING path, and turns his head to a lighter, less mysterious, less scary path. Ace TRIES to go down the lighter path, but Chris pushes him FORWARD! Chris says: “Don’t be stubborn! We’re taking a short DETOUR! We’ll get back home FASTER!” (Confessional) Chris sighs, and says: “I KNEW I should’ve gotten a thoroughbred colt but NO!!!! I just HAD to save my money for a rainy day!” / Ace merely shakes his head in frustration. (End Confessional) Ace nervously treads down the dusty, dirty path, as the wind silently blows the leaves around. But all the while, Ace can’t HELP but get the feeling that they are NOT alone, as Ace suddenly hears WOLVES howl in the distance! Chris says: “NO! This is all WRONG!!!! We shouldn’t have GONE this way! We better turn around.” But as Chris TRIES to maneuver Ace and the wagon, Ace gets jumpy as the howling from the wolves seems to be getting closer! Chris says: “Easy boy, easy! Don’t get nervous! Hold it!” (CRASH!!!!) And they back into a tree, freeing a group of bats from their nesting grounds! Chris says: “Scatter!” But Ace breaks into a FULL blown panic, and races forward at a VERY fast click! Chris says: “Slow down! Slow down, I say!!!!”

Ace DOES so, but only because there’s a SHEER drop-off just MERE inches ahead! Chris says: “Back up, back up!” Ace nervously, and quickly, backs up! Chris says: “That’s good! Just back up! Easy boy, easy, easy!” But the howling from the wolves seems to be EXTREMELY close, now, so Ace gets nervous! Chris nervously says: “Ace, please, STOP!!!!” But Ace THROWS Chris Maclean OFF of him, BREAKING his lantern in the process! And Ace makes a full-blown GALLOP out of the woods as the wolves chase behind him. (Confessional) Chris says: “Note to self; number one, not ALL Geniuses are born navigators. Number two, SERIOUSLY consider sending Ace to a Glue Factory, if I can FIND one, that is!” (End Confessional) Chris adjusts his hat and says: “This is not good.” And Chris sees some wolves (interns DRESSED as wolves) and says: “That’s even WORSE!!!!” And Chris makes a run for it! (Confessional) Chris says: “In retrospect, I shouldn’t have run from the wolves. But I was NERVOUS okay, I PANICKED! I thought I was done for, until the most AMAZING thing happened!” (End Confessional) Chris runs into a BIG metal gate, and realizes that it might mean a safe sanctuary for him! Chris shouts: “HELP! I NEED somebody! HELP! Not just ANYBODY! HELP! You KNOW I need SOMEONE! HELP!!!!” But the gate moves OPEN, and Chris quickly gets in, and SLAMS the gate on the wolves! He moves towards the front door, but drops his hat in the process. But Chris GASPS in shock at the sight he sees! A HUGE, foreboding castle, full of gargoyle statues and dark, Gothic artwork. But it starts to RAIN into a down-pour! Knowing there’s no other alternative, Chris knocks on the door, and it opens up by itself! (Confessional) Chris says: “Okay, I saw this big, dark castle in the middle of the forest, and I’m thinking to myself; ‘This place is either owned by someone very rich and nice, or someone very powerful and nasty!’ GULP! I really hope it’s the FIRST one! But what CHOICE did I have? I didn’t want to die of Pneumonia! Any shelter is better than no shelter at all, right?” (End Confessional) /

Chris walks inside the castle, only to find that it’s nowhere NEAR as dark and scary as he expected it to be, although it is UNUSUALLY quiet! Chris, questioningly says: “Bonjour?” Hearing no immediate response, Chris says louder: “BONJOUR?!” Trent quietly says: “This traveler must have gotten lost in the woods.” Noah quietly says: “Shut up! Let him go away!” Chris turns around and asks: “Is someone there?!” Noah, a life-sized, human shaped clock, turns to the human-sized candelabra, Trent. Noah quietly says: “I warn you, Trent. Not one WORD out of YOU!” Chris says: “I’m really sorry for intruding on your humble abode, but I lost my ride. I could really use a place to stay, just for a night.” Trent empathetically says: “Come on, Noah. We HAVE to help!” Noah clamps Trent’s mouth shut, but Trent uses his PROP lit candle, and Noah acts like it is BURNING his clock hands! Noah cries: “YOWCH!” Trent loudly says: “Absolutely sir, we welcome you here!” Chris asks: “Who said that?” Trent says: “Right here!” Chris asks: “Where?!” Trent waves his candle arms in front of Chris and asks: “Can you see me now?!” Chris says: “WOAH!!!!” (Confessional) Chris says: “I’ll just say this, for the record, Trent is the SECOND biggest candelabra I have ever seen!” / Trent says: “Chris Maclean was obviously a stranger. He’s obviously not familiar with how enchanted castles work. With that being the case, I took it upon myself to educate him.” (End Confessional) Chris says: “You’re AMAZING!” Noah says: “You’ve REALLY done it THIS time, haven’t you Trent?! How long do you think it will be before the Master finds out about THIS?!” Chris holds Noah, and Chris asks: “How on Earth do you move?!” (Confessional) Noah says: “I despise being held like some common toy. It’s very demeaning to my self-esteem, and I don’t have a LOT of it!” / Chris says: “I was CURIOUS, okay?! Cut me some slack!” (End Confessional) Noah scolds, and says: “Stop it, stop messing with me RIGHT now, my clock hands are NOT a toy! Cease, and desist!”

Chris says: “Forgive me, kind sir…clock, I have just never seen a clock that could…that could…AH-CHOO!!!!” (Confessional) Noah says: “I also despise having people sneeze RIGHT in my face! It’s a good thing I’m a clock, or else I’d have to WORRY about my health!” / Chris blows his nose into a tissue, and says: “Note to self, castle dust is NOT the best thing for a sensitive nose.” (End Confessional) Trent says: “You POOR man! You’re drenched to the bone! Please, come sit, and warm yourself by the fire.” Chris says: “That sounds delightful.” Sasquatchanakwa SEES this development from above, and moves through the shadows! Noah says: “No! No; bad idea, NO! Just think about what our Master might do IF he FINDS this stranger HERE! PLEASE! Stop this insanity NOW!!!!” (Confessional) Noah says: “My master, is NOT exactly the kindest to STRANGERS! After all, it was a stranger that CAUSED his current condition, so to speak, so you can understand WHY I was trying to avoid an ugly scene.” / Trent says: “I was thinking, in the back of my head; that maybe tonight would be different. Maybe our Master would be understanding, and empathetic of Chris Maclean’s plight. I was REALLY hoping it would be different!” (End Confessional) Noah, worrying, says: “No, please NO! Don’t sit in the Master’s CHAIR!!!!” And the seal foot-stool, excitedly comes to comfort Chris! Noah says: “This isn’t happening! This is NOT happening!” Chris says: “You’re a cute little, foot-stool seal!” D.J. comes in, and puts a nice, comfy blanket around Chris. Chris contentedly says: “Now THIS is the LIFE!” (Confessional) Chris says: “I LOVE being pampered, okay? So sue me! Is it WRONG to want to be pampered ONCE in a while? We can’t ALL live in nice, fancy castles every day, okay? I just wanted to see how the OTHER half lives! It’s FABULOUS!” / Noah seriously says: “It seems that when you become a clock, you lose ALL of your abilities to make OTHER people and/or Enchanted Objects take you SERIOUSLY! It’s a little insulting, to be honest.” (End Confessional)

Noah says: “All right! I’m putting my foot down! The Master put ME in charge down here…WOAH!!!!” And LaShawna and Cameron run right past him. LaShawna asks: “Would you like some nice, piping hot, warm, delicious tea? It’s the perfect thing to heat up the bones AND the soul!” Noah seriously says: “Not the tea! Put AWAY the tea!” Chris drinks out of Cameron, and Cameron says: “He has a Five O’clock shadow, LaShawna!” Chris asks: “A Five O’clock shadow? Hi!” (SLAM!!!!) The Room quickly darkens, and the fire goes out! Cameron quickly hides behind LaShawna, as LaShawna shivers in fear! Cameron says: “This is BAD!!!!” (Confessional) Cameron says: “Statistically speaking, I might be the YOUNGEST and SMALLEST object in the entire household, but even I know better than to get on the Master’s BAD side! And believe me, it’s pretty big!” / Chris says: “Next time, I’m letting my STUNT double do the scary scenes!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa walks in, filling the room with his large, foreboding presence. Sasquatchanakwa says: “You let a STRANGER in here!” Trent quickly says: “Please, let me explain! That poor man was lost in the forest! He was cold and wet, so I thought…” Sasquatchanakwa roars: “NO!!!!” (Confessional) Trent says: “Okay, so THAT didn’t work! Maybe Noah will have better luck!” (End Confessional) Noah calmly says: “Master, I can EXPLAIN all of this.” Than Noah gets all accusatory and says: “It was absolutely all THEIR fault! They went against me, and I tried to stop them! But would they listen to ME?! Not on their LIFE!” Sasquatchanakwa roars: “STOP!!!!” (Confessional) Trent says: “Then again, Noah could try to scapegoat the REST of us and try to save himself like he ALWAYS does!” / Noah rolls his eyes and says: “Of COURSE I tried to save myself, all right! It was either THEM, or ME! And I find myself WAY too valuable to be a victim of my Master’s Wrath!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa TURNS to Chris, and Chris is very FRIGHTENED of him!

Sasquatchanakwa asks: “Who are you?! What BUSINESS do you have here?!” Chris meekly says: “I was merely lost in the forest; so…” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I don’t WANT you here!” Chris quickly says: “I’m sorry!” Sasquatchanakwa gets accusatory and asks: “What are you LOOKING at?!” Chris says: “I’m looking at nothing!” Sasquatchanakwa angrily says: “So you decided to break into my home and stare at Sasquatchanakwa, didn’t YOU?!” Chris nervously says: “Please! It’s not like that at all! I just wanted a place to STAY!” Sasquatchanakwa firmly says: “Oh, YOU’LL have a place to STAY, PERMANENTLY!!!!” Chris says: “Not that! Not THAT! ANYTHING but THAT!!!!” And Sasquatchanakwa SHOVES Chris into a dark room, and the lights darken on the dark scene. /

Total Drama: Beauty and the Beast

Act Two, Scene One: The Ruined Wedding.               Alejandro and a group of people, are grouped together near Bridgette’s house, and the scene is VERY festive! Scott says: “Bridgette is about to get the surprise of her life, isn’t she Alejandro?!” Alejandro says: “No doubt about it! This is BOTH of our LUCKY days!” (Confessional) Scott says: “It wasn’t easy to set a wedding party up for Bridgette without her DISCOVERING about it! I had to send out the invitations in secret, hire the caterers discreetly, put together a good band, but anything worth doing is worth DOING for Alejandro! He’s my hero!” / Alejandro says: “By 18th century standards, it is almost IMPOSSIBLE for Bridgette to do BETTER than me! She can’t POSSIBLY say no!” (End Confessional) Alejandro says: “First off, I thank you all for coming, and for grouping ALL of our respective presents in alphabetical order! I guess all that’s left to do is…propose to the bride!” All the townspeople laugh, except for Katie, Sadie, and Lindsay, who sob hysterically! Alejandro says: “Don’t forget Scott, once Bridgette and I come out that door…” Scott says: “I know! I’ll strike up the band!” And a polka band begins playing “Here Comes the Bride,” very, VERY badly! Alejandro yells: “AFTER we come out!” Scott says: “Sorry!” (Confessional) Alejandro says: “Since this is the 18th century and this can’t POSSIBLY have been said yet, I can safely say, I am SURROUNDED by IDIOTS, and I don’t have to worry about getting SUED!” (End Confessional) Alejandro knocks on the front door. Bridgette stops reading her book, and looks through the peephole. Bridgette groans when she sees Alejandro. (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I had no idea what Alejandro wants today, but as a properly educated girl of substantial status in the 18th century, it would be very rude of me, and furthermore, frowned upon, if I refused to hear what Alejandro wanted to say. Besides, it’s good karma to be nice to others, even if they aren’t necessarily THAT nice to you!” (End Confessional) Bridgette opens the door, and Alejandro walks in. Bridgette says: “Bonjour, Alejandro. What business do you have at my humble abode?” Alejandro says: “Today is not just about me, my fair mademoiselle. After all, you’re practically the envy of every single girl LIVING in this town today. Today is the day, that every one of your dreams, come true!” Bridgette asks: “And what, might I ask, do you KNOW about my dreams?” Alejandro says: “A lot! Here’s the scene; a comfy, hunting cabin, my latest carcass roasting on the fire, and a PRETTY wife to massage my back. While the little ones play on the floor with the dogs. I want FOUR or FIVE at the very least!” Bridgette asks: “Canines?” Alejandro says: “No, Bridgette! Big strong boys, like me!” Bridgette says: “You have SOME imagination!” Alejandro says: “And can you guess WHO my pretty wife is?!” And Bridgette FREEZES in her tracks! (Confessional) Bridgette says: “If Alejandro tells me what I think he’s about to tell me, I will ROYALLY freak out!” / Alejandro says: “It’s all about setting the right mood. And if anyone can paint a picture as PRETTY as me, it’s ME!” (End Confessional) Bridgette asks: “Can I THINK about it for a bit?!” Alejandro answers: “It’s ME, of course!”

(Confessional) Bridgette screams: “AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I just HAD to get that out of my system!” / Alejandro confidently says: “Yep! She definitely wants me! But then again, who WOULDN’T?!” (End Confessional) Bridgette coyly says: “Alejandro, I’m practically BREATHLESS! What am I supposed to say?!” Alejandro romantically says: “Say you’ll be my wife.” Alejandro closes his eyes and prepares to kiss. Bridgette reaches for the door knob, and prepares to open it. Bridgette says: “Well, don’t take this the wrong way, but, your standards just aren’t MY standards!” And Bridgette OPENS the door, causing Alejandro to STUMBLE forward, and FALL on the dirty ground! The polka band is once again playing “Here Comes the Bride” VERY badly, and Bridgette SLAMS the front door in victory! Scott eventually looks, and realizes Alejandro is on the ground, WITHOUT Bridgette. Scott asks: “So, what did she say?!” Alejandro, very ANGRILY, grabs Scott by the neck, and Alejandro angrily says: “Mark my WORDS, Bridgette WILL be my WIFE! I will not be REFUSED by my BRIDE!!!!” And Alejandro THROWS Scott down to the dirty ground! (Confessional) Scott says: “Someone SERIOUSLY needs to get some Anger Management sessions scheduled in! And by ‘someone’, I obviously mean Alejandro!” (End Confessional) Scott gets up and says: “Sounds like someone is very SENSITIVE about the subject, if you ask me!” As Alejandro leaves the setting, wiping himself clean, the rest of the Townspeople disperse. When the noise dies down, Bridgette peeks out of her house to look around. Bridgette asks the audience: “Is he gone? Can you imagine?! He asked me to marry him. Me! The wife of that boorish, brainless!” Bridgette sings: “Madame Buerromeurto! Can't you just see it? Madame Buerromeurto! His ‘pretty wife.’ No sir! Not me! I guarantee it! I want much more than this provincial life! (Orchestra solo) I want adventure in the great wide somewhere, I want it more than I can tell. And for once it might be grand, to have someone understand, I want so much more than they've got planned.” And as soon as she finishes her song, Ace comes running into the scene, pulling the invention with the second place ribbon, but no Chris Maclean RIDING him! And Ace neighs nervously! (Confessional) Bridgette says: “Of course, when I SAW Ace arrive without my Step-dad, I knew that there MUST be something wrong! Ace is very loyal and would NEVER ditch ANYONE unless he had a good reason! Ace is VERY reliable!” / Ace blushes in response to Bridgette’s statement. (End Confessional) Bridgette asks: “What happened to you? Is my father okay? Wait, you don’t need to answer, I can’t understand you anyways. You have to take me to find Chris Maclean!” Bridgette unhooks the invention from Ace, so he can travel faster. Bridgette gets dressed for the elements, and saddles herself onto Ace. Bridgette says: “All right, boy! Let’s go rescue my father!” /

Act Two, Scene Two: Arrival/Departure.        Bridgette, riding on Ace, arrives at the Dark Castle. Although it is not raining, the scene is still ominous. Bridgette asks: “You’ve taken me here? What is my dad doing here?” Of course, Ace is very jumpy at the sight of this place. Thankfully, Bridgette is a MUCH better horse rider than Chris is! Bridgette says: “Easy, boy! Easy! It’s going to be all right. Let’s get you inside the gate, and I’ll be out as soon as possible!” Bridgette opens the gate, and once they are safely inside, she closes it behind her. She GASPS when she sees Chris’ hat on the ground. (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I KNOW my step-dad, okay?! And he would never go ANYWHERE without a hat, unless it was out of fashion! Dad HAS to be inside! I don’t know who lives in the castle, but I’ve got to save my Dad, no matter what!” (End Confessional)

The action shifts inside the castle, as Bridgette opens the big doors, but there’s no one there to greet her. Bridgette asks: “Bonjour? Is anyone home?!” Hearing no immediate response, she decides to walk through the castle. Bridgette calls out: “Chris! Chris Maclean, are you here?!” Cameron runs up to LaShawna, and he says: “You’re not going to believe this! There’s a lady in the castle!” LaShawna says: “Obviously, there are PLENTY of female servants who work for our master BESIDES me, you know!” Cameron says: “You don’t get it! I’m talking about a HUMAN girl!” LaShawna says: “Don’t tell me tall tales! Go clean yourself up!” Gwen rushes in and says: “You’re not going to believe this! I saw a human lady in the CASTLE!” Cameron asks: “Do you believe me NOW?!” (Confessional) LaShawna says: “Okay! So Cameron was actually RIGHT about something for once! Give me a break, I’m only a TEAPOT, you know!” / Cameron says: “LaShawna STILL treats me like a kid! I’m practically 14 now! I THINK I’m old enough to be taken seriously!” / Gwen says: “I’m intrigued by our new guest! I think she’s going to really liven up the place! I can already feel the SPARKS in the air!” (End Confessional)

Noah is STILL reading Trent the Riot Act! Noah sarcastically says: “It should have been SO simple! But was it? Oh, NO!!!! You took him IN, didn’t you?! Sit him by the fire-place, petting the seal, warm tea!” Trent rolls his eyes and says: “I was TRYING to show a little human compassion! Just because I’m a candelabra, doesn’t mean that I can’t HAVE any human compassion!” (Confessional) Noah says: “I have VERY simple wants, okay? I don’t WANT to have to deal with any complications in this castle; not unless it’s going to develop into something good, okay? If a human EVER enters into our castle again, highly doubtful, I want it to actually turn INTO something!” / Trent says: “Okay, someone SERIOUSLY didn’t HUG Noah enough as a child! I’d do it, but my hands are currently lit candles, so I’m at of a bit of an impasse right now, unfortunately!” (End Confessional) Noah says: “Just admit it! You messed up!” And Trent starts to MOCK Noah. Noah says: “You’re nothing but a care-free, waxed-up, sloppy…” Bridgette shouts: “Father?!” And she walks right PAST their arguing spot! Trent asks: “Is that what I THINK it is?!” Noah says: “I sure HOPE so!” They check her out again and Trent says: “A human woman!” Noah sarcastically says: “Oh, sure! Say that as if I’ve NEVER actually SEEN one, before!” Trent asks: “You know what this means, don’t you? The prophecy is going to be fulfilled! She can free us from this magic! Perhaps I can help free her father!” And Trent discreetly walks after Bridgette! (Confessional) Noah asks: “Seriously, why does everyone always ASSUME that I don’t KNOW anything about GIRLS?! It’s a little insulting and degrading to my self-esteem, to be honest. I sure hope Trent knows what he’s DOING, for ONCE!” / Trent says: “I’m a romantic at heart. And as such, I consider it my duty to make a love connection happen! Some say the course of love doesn’t run smoothly, but you can’t expect to find true love without getting a little wet! And I’ll risk getting wet if it means helping to break the spell!” (End Confessional) Bridgette shouts: “Father!” She hears Trent OPEN a door behind her, and she asks: “Is that you?” She walks through it, and asks: “Father?” And she sees the candles on Trent going up some stairs. Bridgette shouts: “Excuse me! I’m looking for my dad, and I’m wondering…” But as she walks up the stairs, she can’t FIND any PERSON in sight, as Trent is PRETENDING to be inanimate. Bridgette says: “That’s strange. There SHOULD be someone here. Is there anyone here?” Chris asks: “My daughter?” Bridgette shouts: “Chris!” And she runs to meet Chris, who’s shut behind a barred door.

Chris says: “I just KNEW you would come for me! COUGH, COUGH! This tower isn’t the best place to spend a night!” (Confessional) Bridgette says: “It’s a good thing I found my father when I did; I SHUDDER to think what would’ve happened if I hadn’t have been there to get him!” / Chris says: “On the one hand, I was GLAD to see my daughter again! On the other hand, I was worried, mainly about the strange creature! It almost doesn’t matter what happens to me at this point, but I don’t want my daughter getting HURT! I really LOVE Bridgette, a LOT! I’m really fond of her as a person, and there aren’t too many people out there that I feel fond for.” (End Confessional) Bridgette shivers and says: “You’re as cold as ice! Where are the keys? Tell me how to free you!” Chris says: “It’s unimportant now. You’ve got to get away from here!” Bridgette asks: “Why is that? Who’s responsible for this?” Chris says: “There’s not a lot of time! Please leave, NOW!” Bridgette says: “I WON’T abandon you!” Sasquatchanakwa GRABS Bridgette, and she DROPS her lit torch in shock, and it extinguishes! Sasquatchanakwa asks: “What do you think you’re doing?!” Chris says: “Save yourself!” (Confessional) Bridgette says: “So there I was, in the dark, and this BIG, strong guy seems to be guarding the place. I think he’s the one who put my Father away. But what could anyone possibly have against Chris Maclean. I mean, SURE, my Dad’s not perfect! But who IS? Perhaps I can REASON with him!” / Chris says: “Call it a hunch, but I don’t think Sasquatchanakwa is the type of guy/creature you can really reason with. I REALLY hope I’m wrong, for once!” (End Confessional) In the darkness, Bridgette tries to find her bearings. Bridgette asks: “Who, or more importantly, what are you?!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I’m the owner of this place. This is my castle. Everything here belongs to me.” Bridgette says: “I ask that you release my father. Please let him go! He’s starting to get sick!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “Excuse me, but he TRESPASSED on MY property!” Bridgette says: “But he didn’t MEAN to! Please, I would DO anything!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I don’t see what you can do. What do you have to offer me?” (Confessional)

Bridgette says: “I may have only one chance to save my dad, even if that means making a sacrifice on my own part. It’s not a pleasant thought, but it’s better than letting my Dad FREEZE to death in a cold, dark tower!” (End Confessional) Bridgette says: “I offer myself! An exchange! My father’s freedom, and I’ll take his place! No questions asked! Is it a deal?” And Sasquatchanakwa STOPS in sheer amazement! (Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa says: “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen any real kindness from a human, I almost forgot what it looks like. Is she the one I’ve been waiting for? I have to take the chance. If I don’t, I’ll live the rest of my life like this, and that’s not exactly a thrilling prospect in my mind.” / Chris says: “I appreciate a gesture as much as the next person, but I don’t want my daughter to SACRIFICE herself! There’s GOT to be ANOTHER way!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa asks: “You’re willing to take his place?” Chris says: “I’ve got $100,000! One time offer, you take it, and you’ll never have to see us again!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I don’t WANT your money!” Bridgette asks: “If I take Chris’ place, will you free him, forever?” Sasquatchanakwa says: “Of course. But you must understand something, you will have to agree to live here in perpetuity. Now, and forever more, you will never leave this castle again.” (Confessional) Bridgette sighs and says: “I expected this. I’m not happy about it, but I expected this. It would mean my fathers freedom. But there’s something I want to know, first.” (End Confessional) Bridgette sees a beam of light, coming from an open window. Bridgette asks: “May I please see your face, first?” And reluctantly, Sasquatchanakwa steps into the light.

And despite her bravery, Bridgette can’t help but gasp in half-shock and half-fear when she SEES what Sasquatchanakwa truly looks like! (Confessional) Bridgette gasps and she says: “I…NEVER imagined!” (End Confessional) Chris Maclean says: “Bridgette, you DON’T have to DO this!” But seeing no alternative, Bridgette sighs, and says: “You have a deal.” Sasquatchanakwa says: “DEAL!” And he opens the door, freeing Chris Maclean. Chris quickly says: “You STILL have a full life ahead of you! There’s STILL a chance to change your mind!” And Sasquatchanakwa GRABS Chris Maclean, and takes him outside! Bridgette says: “Hold it!” Chris shouts: “Bridgette!” Bridgette yells: “HOLD IT!!!!” Outside, Chris turns to Sasquatchanakwa, and Chris asks: “Please, reconsider! I’ll get you whatever your heart desires!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I have what I want!” And Sasquatchanakwa puts Chris into a HORSELESS carriage! Sasquatchanakwa says: “Take him to the nearest town!” Chris shouts: “Let me out! Please, let me go! Let me go! Now! Now!” And the Horseless carriage takes him off-stage. Sasquatchankwa walks back inside, and Trent hops in front of him. Trent asks: “May I have a moment of your time?” Sasquatchanakwa asks: “Why?!” Trent says: “Obviously, Bridgette is going to be living here now, and I think it would be a nice, kind, gesture, to give her a room that’s slightly more comfortable!” Sasquatchankwa merely growls in anger. Trent says: “Or not! It’s YOUR life!” (Confessional) Trent says: “Far be it for ME to make a suggestion!” / Sasquatchanakwa angrily says: “NOBODY tells ME what to DO!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa walks back to Bridgette, and she says: “I can’t believe you! He’s the only dad I have, and I couldn’t even tell him good-bye! I probably won’t ever see him again in my life!” Sasquatchanakwa feels guilty, and says: “Come on, I’ll take you to your room.” Bridgette asks: “I get a room?” Sasquatchanakwa asks: “Do you really WANT to stay in the tower?” Bridgette says: “Of course not.” Sasquatchanakwa says: “Then come with me.” (Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa says: “Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t STAND to see a pretty girl cry. Giving her a comfortable room is a SMALL price to pay in order to keep her on pleasant terms with me.” / Bridgette says: “I’m not one to play the guilt trip card, that’s just not me. When I cry, I cry for real. There are no crocodile tears from me.” (End Confessional) Saquatchanakwa is holding Trent, lighting the way through the dimly lit castle, Bridgette looks around, but she feels slightly afraid of all the gargoyle statues, and sheds a tear out of desperate longing. Trent whispers: “Talk to her.” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I hope you enjoy your stay here.” Trent whispers: “A little more.” Sasquatchanakwa firmly says: “My house is your house now. You’re free to go to ANY room you want EXCEPT for the West Wing.” Bridgette asks: “Why? What’s in there?” Sasquatchanakwa shouts: “It’s OFF limits!” And the conversation abruptly ends.

(Confessional) Bridgette says: “Okay, I REALLY didn’t get my question answered!” / Sasquatchanakwa says: “The West Wing is MY personal quarters, okay?! It’s the only place I can escape for solitude from everything that LIVES in my castle!” (End Confessional) Eventually, Sasquatchanakwa leads Bridgette to a very cozy room. Sasquatchanakwa says: “If there’s anything you need, there are plenty of servants around the place who can help you.” Trent whispers: “A banquet! A banquet would be the PERFECT ice-breaker!” Sasquatchanakwa firmly says: “You WILL come to a dinner banquet tonight! That’s NON-NEGOTIABLE!!!!” And Sasquatchanakwa shuts the door! Bridgette can’t hold her sadness in any longer, and she collapses on the bed and cries her heart out. / End of Second Sequence and fade to black. /

Act Three, Scene One: Alejandro.       The scene opens up on a wintery night, the snow is starting to blow through the village, and most of the Townspeople are at the local Root Beer pub, including Alejandro, who is busy nursing his BRUISED ego over Bridgette’s earlier rejection of HIM! Alejandro asks: “Can you believe that she refused me?! Of ALL the people in the town she had the opportunity to turn down, and she rejects ME?! Nobody EVER turns me DOWN!!!!” Scott says: “Oh, I hear you there!” Alejandro says: “And to ADD insult to injury, she does it in BROAD daylight, in front of ALL my friends and acquaintances! That wedding was supposed to be the HAPPIEST day of my LIFE; and she totally HUMILIATED me! I’m almost ASHAMED to call myself a MAN!!!!” Scott asks: “Want to drown your sorrows in some more root beer?” Alejandro dejectedly asks: “What’s the point? All my trophies can’t hurt the PAIN I feel inside! I’m a mere SHELL of my former self!” Scott says: “That’s not the Alejandro I personally know! The Alejandro I personally know, ALWAYS finds a way to cheer up, and pull himself back up off of the ground!”

(Confessional) Scott says: “I find out that when Alejandro gets down on himself, a good song exploring his virtues ALWAYS puts him into a good mood again. Luckily, I can always count on a good set of Alejandro’s supporters, to help me out in my efforts!” (End Confessional) And a musical song begins. / Scott: “Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Alejandro, looking so down in the dumps. Every guy here'd love to be you, Alejandro, even when taking your lumps! There's no man in town as admired as you, you're everyone's favorite guy. Everyone's awed and inspired by you, and it's not very hard to see why!” And the Bimbettes sigh in admiration. Scott: “No one's slick as Alejandro, no one's quick as Alejandro. No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Alejandro! For there's no man in town half as manly; perfect, a pure paragon! You can ask any Max, Mal, or Justin, and they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!” Justin, Mal, Max, and Scott: “No one's, been like Alejandro, a king pin like Alejandro! No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Alejandro!” Alejandro: “As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!” Townspeople: “My, what a guy, Alejandro! Give five hurrahs! Give twelve hip-hips! Alejandro’s the best, and the rest is all drips! No one, fights like Alejandro, douses lights like Alejandro!” Mal: “In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Alejandro!” Katie, Sadie, and Lindsay: “For there's no one as burly and brawny!” Alejandro: “As you see, I've got biceps to spare!” Scott: “Not a bit of him, is scraggly or scrawny!” Alejandro: “That's right! And everyone knows of my perfect black hair!” Townspeople: “No one hits like Alejandro! Matches wits like Alejandro! In a spitting match, nobody spits like Alejandro!” Alejandro: “I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptooey!” Townspeople: “Ten points for Alejandro!” Alejandro: “When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs, every morning to help me get large! And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a barge!” Townspeople: “No one shoots like Alejandro, makes those beauts like Alejandro!” Scott: “Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Alejandro!” Alejandro: “I use antlers in all of my decorating!” Townspeople: “My, what a guy! Alejandro!!!!” /

And the epic song ends, and everyone shares a good laugh! (Confessional) Alejandro says: “This is one of the reasons Scott is my best friend; he always knows how to pick me up. I have a lot to be proud of! It’s possible that Bridgette just needs to realize how LIMITED her options truly are, especially in the 18^th century! There’s like, only a BILLION people living on the planet! Who could be BETTER than ME?!” / Scott says: “I thought Alejandro was about all ready to give up on Bridgette. But then, the STRANGEST thing happened at the Pub!” (End Confessional) Chris Maclean bursts in, covered with snow, but looking BETTER than he did at the Beast’s castle! Chris shouts: “Emergency!!!!” Blainely asks: “Is THAT Chris?!” Chris says: “This is NO time to be idle! I need help! He has her LOCKED in his tower!” Tyler asks: “Who?” Chris says: “My daughter, Bridgette! We have no time to WASTE!!!!” Alejandro says: “Explain yourself! Who would LOCK Bridgette up in a tower, anyways?!” Chris says: “He calls himself Sasquatchanakwa! He’s a big, hairy, ape-like BEAST!!!!” All the townspeople look at him, and LAUGH him off, thinking that he’s telling a GREAT, BIG, joke! (Confessional) Scott says: “I always THOUGHT Chris Maclean was eccentric, but now he’s proven it! Come on! You would THINK he could make up a more BELIEVEABLE name than THAT!!!!” / Chris blushes, and he says: “Okay, I REALLY didn’t think my approach to the situation better, but how could I?! I’m in a big PANIC!!!! This is my DAUGHTER we’re talking about! What’s going to happen to Bridgette is she’s left in that castle?! Probably nothing good, is MY guess!” (End Confessional)

Chris looks helpless in the pub, and Justin asks: “Was he a HUGE beast?!” Chris says: “Very big!” Max asks: “Did he have a long, UGLY muzzle?!” Chris says: “Very unsettling!” Mal asks: “And did he have SHARP, VICIOUS teeth?!” Chris says: “You’ve got the picture! Will you assist me?!” Alejandro smiles, and says: “GLADLY! We’ll ‘assist’ you, on your way!” Mal and Justin grab Chris, and escort him to the door! Chris says: “I just KNEW you guys would help ME!!!!” And Justin and Mal THROW Chris out into the COLD snow! (Confessional) Chris sputters, as he coughs out the snow! Chris sarcastically says: “NICE!!!! REALLY nice! Now that’s the LAST time I ask help from THOSE ‘friends!’ The gratitude I get is SO lacking!” (End Confessional) Justin says: “What a deranged lunatic!” Mal says: “He always makes me laugh!” Alejandro THINKS about it, and says: “Deranged lunatic, Chris Maclean? A DERANGED lunatic, Chris Maclean!” And the song starts up again! / Alejandro: “Scott, I'm afraid I've been thinking!” Scott: “A dangerous pastime.” Alejandro: “I know. But that whacky old coot, is Bridgette's father, And his sanity's only so-so. Now the wheels in my head have been turning, since I looked at that loony, old man. See, I've promised myself I'd be married to Bridgette, and right now, I'm evolving a plan!” Alejandro whispers: “If I...” Scott: “Yes?” Alejandro: “Then we...” Scott: “No! Would she...?” Alejandro: “Guess!” Scott: “Now I get it!” Both: “Let's go! No one plots like Alejandro!” Alejandro: “Takes cheap shots like Alejandro!” Scott: “Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Alejandro!” Alejandro: “Yes, I'm endlessly, wildly resourceful!” Scott: “As down to the depths you descend!” Alejandro: “I won't even be mildly remorseful! Just as long as I get what I want in the end! Who has brains like Alejandro?!” Scott: “Entertains like Alejandro?” Both: “Who can make up these endless refrains like Alejandro?!” Townspeople: “And his marriage we soon will be celebrating! My, what a guy, Alejandro!” / And the song ends for good! / Chris Maclean stands outside of the pub, and shouts: “Will ANYBODY assist me?!” Waits for a while, and hears no answer. Chris sarcastically says: “I guess THAT’S a big, FAT, NO!” / The lights dim, and the scenery changes for the next scene. /

Act Three, Scene Two: An Explosive Temper!            The action focuses back in the castle. Bridgette is still crying on the bed, until she hears a knock on the door. Bridgette asks: “Who’s out there?” LaShawna says: “Good old, LaShawna, with some warm tea.” Bridgette opens the door, and is SURPRISED to see common, household objects, walking and TALKING to her! LaShawna says: “My mother always told me, that NOTHING cures the blues like a nice cup of tea!” Bridgette is startled and says: “You’re WALKING!!!! You’re TALKING!!!!” And she BACKS into a tall wardrobe! Jasmine says: “Be careful! I have feelings TOO, you know!” Bridgette says: “Sorry; this is just a LOT to take in! I mean, how is this even possible?” Jasmine says: “To be honest, we’re not even REALLY sure, ourselves! But, as long as we’re all here, we might as well make the BEST of things!” (Confessional) Bridgette says: “Now that I know that I won’t have to be completely alone while I live in this castle, it makes my situation SLIGHTLY better. Of course, it doesn’t erase the emptiness I feel. I wish I knew that my father was all right, than everything would be okay.” / LaShawna says: “I consider myself to have the most emotional, and intellectual maturity of anybody LIVING in this castle! I’m also one of the FEW who LIVE in this castle who’s willing to stand up to the master! He might talk a big game, but you stand tough and strong, and he is left with nothing! I’m going to take Bridgette under my wing, because girls have got to look out for each other in the 18^th century!” /

Jasmine says: “Bridgette’s bravery is SURE inspiring! I’m sure she will serve as an inspiration for MANY girls in the centuries to come!” (End Confessional) Cameron asks: “Isn’t she’s everything I described her to be?!” LaShawna says: “Pretty and brave, that definitely describes her. Now please don’t squirm while Bridgette drinks out of you.” Cameron sighs and says: “Okay!” (Confessional) Cameron says: “I may have been a cup for ten years, but I will NEVER get used to people drinking out of me!” (End Confessional) LaShawna says: “It was really unexpected for us to see the sacrifice you made for your father.” Jasmine says: “We’re really touched by it!” Bridgette sniffles, and says: “That’s nice, but my FATHER is gone! Not to mention all the dreams I had. It’s…not an easy life to get used to.” LaShawna says: “I know it’s hard at the beginning. But it will get better with time. You’ve got US to talk to for whatever you need!” Cameron says: “LaShawna, we’ve got to get downstairs to prepare!” LaShawna says: “That’s right! We have that BANQUET to prepare! Let’s go!” LaShawna hops out, and Cameron says: “See you later!” And Cameron follows LaShawna. Jasmine says: “Now that we’re alone, how about I suggest a change of wardrobe?! I’ve got DOZENS of dresses in here that I’ve been wanting to see!” Jasmine opens herself up, and a bunch of DUST blows out! Jasmine says: “WHOOPS!!!! Sorry about that! That’s just ten years of dust in me. My bad!” (Confessional) Jasmine says: “Come on! It’s not like I have PEOPLE who look at my dresses every day! I know that Sasquatchanakwa NEVER wants to look at MY dresses!” (End Confessional) Jasmine shakes herself, and gets rid of the dust. Jasmine says: “That’s better! I have a LOVELY green ensemble that will turn HEADS in this castle!” And Jasmine shows Bridgette a very PRETTY, green dress! Bridgette says: “If it’s all the same to you, I’m going to SKIP the dinner!” Jasmine asks: “Are you NUTS?! The Master has an EXPLOSIVE temper! And you’re not EXACTLY in a BARGAINING position OVER him at the moment! PLEASE, reconsider!” (Confessional)

Jasmine says: “I personally NEVER want to see our master in a BAD mood, because when HE’S in a bad mood, EVERYTHING in our castle KNOWS about it, and it just makes everything feel REALLY ugly! And the castle does not LOOK good or FEEL good when it is UGLY!!!!” / Bridgette says: “Under normal circumstances, I’m ALWAYS up for a nice dinner! But seeing as how I have to LIVE here against my WILL, without access to my father or my dreams, this is definitely NOT normal circumstances!” (End Confessional) Noah walks in and says: “Pardon me, girls; the banquet is all READY for you!” / The action shifts downstairs, where Sasquatchanakwa is anticipating Bridgette’s arrival. Sasquatchanakwa asks: “How long does it take a girl to get changed?! She KNOWS that I’m expecting her! WHY hasn’t she COME?!” LaShawna says: “Try to have some empathy, sir. You DID take away the girl’s freedom, and you sent her father away.” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I didn’t technically TAKE the girl’s freedom away, she willingly gave it up so I would release her father!” LaShawna says: “That’s technically NOT the point I was TRYING to MAKE, sire!” Trent says: “I THINK what LaShawna is TRYING to say is, have you thought about letting THIS girl be the one who breaks this spell?” Sasquatchanakwa says: “Obviously! I’m NOT stupid!” (Confessional) LaShawna says: “Confidentially speaking, I have NEVER been worried about the Master’s intelligence; I’m MORE worried about his tendency to fly off the handle when things DON’T go his way!” / Sasquatchanakwa says: “Come ON!!!! It’s not like I’m ASKING to perform open HEART surgery on the girl! I just WANT to her to come to a banquet! Is that too much to ASK?!” /

Trent says: “YES!!!! The master WANTS to be in love! And everyone knows that LOVE is just a romantic interest between two different people! And if ONE of them already wants to BE in love, than half of the battle is already won! That doesn’t make the other half any easier, but it DOES make the other half more obtainable!” (End Confessional) Trent says: This banquet is the PERFECT place to talk! Find out your common interests, a little music and the right lighting, and the romance will take full bloom! The spell will be broken, and we might even be NORMAL again before midnight!” LaShawna says: “That’s NOT a realistic approach to LOVE, Trent! True romance takes LONGER than THAT!” Trent says: “Maybe, but we’re kind of on a TIGHT schedule, LaShawna! The Enchanted Rose is starting to LOSE its petals.” (Confessional)

LaShawna says: “I believe it was William Shakespeare who once said, that the true course of love NEVER runs smooth! Those were true words when he wrote them, and they are STILL true words today!” / Trent says: “Being an enchanted object for ten years can really get to you. That’s probably the MAJOR reason I’m so EAGER to get this romance started! It’s time our master made a connection! If he doesn’t make it NOW, when will he ever be able to?!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa says: “Maybe it’s not even worth our time. I mean, she’s so PRETTY! And I’m…do I LOOK like a First Prize Winner?!” (Confessional) LaShawna says: “Well, he’s got us THERE! He’s not exactly a catch in the LOOKS department; but looks don’t count for everything! At least, for me, they don’t! All we need to do is capitalize on our Master’s POSITIVE traits, and Bridgette will see how GOOD he can TRULY be!” (End Confessional) LaShawna says: “You don’t NEED to be beautiful! You just need to be CHARMING, on the inside! It’s easy when you put your MIND to it!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I wish I knew HOW! I’ve never HAD the practice!” LaShawna says: “There’s no time like the present! You NEED to act CIVILIZED! Be courteous! Show the girl the RESPECT she deserves!” Trent says: “Of course! And when she comes in, show her how HAPPY you are to see her! Be a gigantic RAY of sunshine!” LaShawna says: “But don’t be overbearing, though. Give her some space, and let her get to know you on her OWN terms!” Trent says: “Tell her what she WANTS to hear!” LaShawna says: “But ALWAYS tell the truth!” Trent says: “But if nothing else…” LaShawna and Trent simultaneously say: “PLEASE control your EXPLOSIVE temper!” (Confessional) Trent says: “I think that did it! I think we got THROUGH to him! Everything should go PERFECTLY, now!” / Sasquatchanakwa says: “There sure is a LOT to remember, in order to JUST be a NICE guy! But it will be worth it, as LONG as Bridgette is feeling COOPERATIVE with us!” / LaShawna says: “I hope we got through to him. It all falls on Bridgette now. I HOPE she’s in a good enough mood to eat with our master, now. If she isn’t, than the mood in this castle is going to turn CONSIDERABLY sour, if you know what I mean!” (End Confessional) The door handle turns, and LaShawna asks: “Could that be HER?!” And the door opens up to reveal Noah! Noah nervously says: “Here I am!” Sasquatchanakwa is SLIGHTLY irritated, but controls himself, and asks: “Will Bridgette be COMING to the banquet we’ve worked SO hard on?!” Noah nervously says: “Funny story about that! It seems that…Bridgette is feeling ready to…that is, to say…with things going as they ARE…” Noah’s face turns pale white, and he hollowly says: “Bridgette won’t come downstairs.” Sasquatchanakwa yells: “EXCUSE ME?!!!”

And Sasquatchanakwa makes a MAD dash for Bridgette’s room, with the trio DESPERATELY running after him! Noah says: “Just a moment! Take a CHILL pill! Don’t ACT before you THINK!” And Sasquatchanakwa POUNDS on Bridgette’s door, and says: “I THOUGHT I expressed my DESIRE to have you for a banquet!” Bridgette says: “I’m NOT interested!” And the trio just shake their heads in disappointment. Sasquatchanakwa shouts: “You better come out of there…or…I’m going to get REALLY rough around here!” Trent says: “Forgive me for pointing this out, but that’s NOT exactly the RIGHT mood you want to SET with her!” Noah nervously says: “Can you just ATTEMPT to act all grown up about this?!” Sasquatchanakwa, in a sing-song voice, says: “I’m trying, but she’s making it REALLY HARD right about NOW!” LaShawna calmly says: “Take a deep breath, and ask gently.” (Confessional) Trent says: “So much for hoping that tonight would go SMOOTHLY!” / Noah asks: “Why do I ALWAYS end up being the bearer of bad news AROUND here?! Next time, I’m going to make TRENT deliver the bad news to Sasquatchanakwa, and see how TRENT likes it!” / LaShawna says: “Tonight is NOT…going IDEALLY, as far as my hopes and expectations for it are. But it’s possible that we can STILL salvage this relationship! / Sasquatchanakwa asks: “Why would ANYONE turn down a banquet?! It’s not every DAY you get a FREE meal!! / Bridgette says: “This is PRECISELY the reason why I turned DOWN the banquet! If that…THING gets THAT mad just because I don’t feel like EATING, who knows HOW mad he gets if I did something REALLY wrong?! Needless to say, I’m not going to entertain somebody if they’re NOT willing to act mature when SOMEONE doesn’t WANT to play ALONG with them!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa groans, and says: “I’m SORRY I yelled at you! Now, will you come to the banquet?” Bridgette says: “Try asking LATER!” Sasquatchanakwa ASKS his servants: “Well?!” Noah says: “Try being empathetic!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I would feel REALLY honored, to have you for my banquet!” Noah adds: “And say, please!” Sasquatchanakwa asks: “Please?” Bridgette says: “Thanks, but NO thanks!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “Well, you can’t LIVE in that ROOM forever!” Bridgette asks: “Want to BET?!” Sasquatchanakwa angrily says: “If THAT’S the way you want it, than GO hungry for all I CARE!!!! See where THAT gets you! If she’s NOT going to eat with ME, I don’t want her EATING at ALL!!” And Sasquatchanakwa ANGRILY runs into the West Wing, SLAMMING the door behind him! LaShawna says: “I DON’T think that Bridgette is getting along WELL with our master right now.” Noah says: “Trent, this is now a CASTLE matter! Guard her quarters, and inform us at ONCE, if she has decided to change her mind!” Trent says: “You can depend on me!” Noah sighs and says: “Come on, LaShawna. We better get downstairs and clean the Master’s mess up!”

(Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa says: “If she won’t go for the carrot, that’s HER problem; not MINE! She HAS to eat sometime! A woman of HER disposition HAS to eat sooner or later! I’ll be WAITING for her to swallow HER pride, FIRST!!!!” / Bridgette says: “There are certain lines that I’m not WILLING to cross! Just because I have to LIVE here, doesn’t mean that I have to play by HIS rules! I REFUSE to play any of his games! And it’s not because I don’t FEEL like actually LIKING him, it’s the PRINCIPLE of the matter! And I NEVER betray my principles!” / Noah asks: “How do you LIKE that?! I know Bridgette doesn’t REALLY want to LIVE here, but she’s not even GIVING Sasquatchanakwa a CHANCE! Granted, she doesn’t have much of a REASON to! But still, she could have at LEAST thought about it!” /

LaShawna says: “On the one hand, I’m PROUD of Bridgette for standing up for herself! On the other hand, I’m a little disappointed that it’s NOT going to get me closer to becoming normal again. It’s a COMPLICATED little matter, that’s for SURE!” / Trent says: “I think Bridgette’s just a little mad about her situation. She just needs some time to think about it logically. She’ll cool down when she’s ready. At least, I sure HOPE she does!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa speaks to the audience, and says: “I was polite, and she STILL turned me DOWN! Does she expect me to get on my knees and PLEAD with her?! NOT going to happen! Magic Mirror, show me this Bridgette!” And the spotlight SHINES on Bridgette talking to Jasmine. Jasmine says: “Look; all I’m saying is that Sasquatchanakwa doesn’t ALWAYS act with such a violent temper! Why don’t you be nice and considerate with him?” Bridgette says: “I don’t WANT to be nice and considerate with HIM; I’m NOT going to have anything to DO with him!” The spotlight is turned off, and Sasquatchanakwa puts the mirror down on the table, next to the Enchanted Rose. Sasquatchanakwa says: “I’m just LYING to myself! Why would I EVER expect her to see me as ANYTHING except what I am? A beast! That’s all I am! It’s all I’m GOOD at being!” And as if on cue, another petal FALLS off the rose, bringing the total amount of fallen petals up to four. Sasquatchanakwa says: “It would take a MIRACLE for us to EVER get together!” / The lights briefly dimmed as new dinner equipment is discreetly brought on-stage for the next scene. /

Act Three, Scene Three: Be Our Guest.          A little later in the same evening, Bridgette decides to come out of her room. Seeing no sign of Sasquatchanakwa or any enchanted objects around, she heads for the kitchen. Trent and Gwen are romantically kissing behind a curtain. Gwen says: “You’re so WARM!!!!” Trent says: “You’re so SWEET!” Gwen says: “You’re so tender!” Trent says: “You’re so romantic!” They come out from behind the curtain, and Gwen says: “Please be careful with your flames, all right?!” Trent says: “Hold up!” And Trent sees Gwen walking down the stairs! Trent says: “Hold those thoughts of yours, I need to inform LaShawna and Noah about this!” (Confessional) Trent says: “Okay, I ALWAYS knew Bridgette was going to come OUT of her room; I just didn’t think it would be until a lot LATER in the evening! Of course, that doesn’t mean that I have to let Sasquatchanakwa know about it IMMEDIATELY! I’m going to play this one by ear!” / Gwen says: “I HATE it when my romance with Trent is interrupted. It REALLY irritates me!” (End Confessional) In the kitchen, LaShawna says: “Cameron, you better go to bed. You’ve had a long day today.” Cameron yawns, and says: “But I’m NOT tired!” LaShawna says: “Of course you are.” Cameron says: “But I don’t WANT to!” And LaShawna closes the cupboard door. Chef Hatchet, the Stove, says: “Can you imagine the utter DISDAIN for my food?! We work to the rust in our metal joints, and what do we get?! Marvelous, magnificent food that will be SPOILED!” LaShawna says: “It’s not just you. We’re ALL disappointed with how this evening has played out.” Noah says: “If anyone would ask ME; and of course, they WON’T; Bridgette was being stubborn on PURPOSE! Our Master went out of his WAY to say please!” LaShawna says: “It’s his TEMPER that’s the problem. If he doesn’t learn HOW to control it, we will never break the--.” Bridgette walks into the kitchen, and Noah quickly says: “How WONDERFUL to see you down here, madame! I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced. My name is Noah, I run the house whenever our master is asleep.” And Trent runs in, and lights up his prop candles!

Noah rolls his eyes, sighs, and says: “This is Trent, and he’s okay, I GUESS!” Trent says: “The pleasure is all mine! I’d shake your hand, but I won’t risk setting you on fire.” Noah asks: “Is there anything you want to make your stay more enjoyable?” Bridgette says: “Well, I WOULD like something to eat!” LaShawna happily says: “How great! She WANTS to eat! Chef, light that fire! Get out the fine plates, and wake the utensils!” Noah asks: “What about the Master?” LaShawna asks: “What ABOUT him?! We can’t allow the girl to STARVE; that would be wrong!” Noah says: “Well, I SUPPOSE we could SPARE a bit of food or stuff!” Trent says: “We need to do MORE than that! She’s our special GUEST, and we need to treat her like one! She needs to feel like she’s a PART of this place!” Noah says: “All right! But keep it on the down-low. Our Master won’t be HAPPY if he finds us giving her FOOD behind his back!” Trent says: “We’ll be careful. But we want a special dinner, for our special girl! And a special girl, needs some special SINGING!!!!” Noah shouts: “SINGING?!!!” /

Trent says: “Ma chere mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride, and greatest pleasure, that we welcome you tonight! And now, we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair, as the dining room proudly presents, your dinner! Be our guest! Be our guest, put our service to the test! Tie your napkin round your neck, cherie, and we provide the rest! Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres, why, we only live to serve! Try the grey stuff, it is delicious! Don't believe me? Ask the dishes! They can sing, they can dance! After all, miss, this is France! And a dinner here is never second best! Go on, unfold your menu, you’ll take a glance and then you'll be our guest! Oui, our guest! Be our guest! Beef ragout, cheese soufflé, pie and pudding en flambe! We'll prepare and serve with flair, a culinary cabaret! You're alone, and you're scared, but the banquet's all prepared! No one's gloomy or complaining, while the flatware's entertaining! We tell jokes; I do tricks with my fellow candlesticks!” Chorus: “And it's all in perfect taste; that, you can bet!” Trent and Chorus: “Come on, and lift your glass, you've won your own free pass to be our guest!” Trent: “If you're stressed, it's fine dining we suggest!” Trent and Chorus: “Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest!” Trent: “Life is so unnerving, for a servant who's not serving. He's not whole without a soul to wait upon. Ah, those good old days when we were useful. Suddenly, those good old days are gone. Ten years we've been rusting, needing so much more than dusting! Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills! Most days, we just lay around the castle! Flabby, fat and lazy, you walked in, and oops-a-daisy!” LaShawna: “It's a guest, it's a guest! Sakes alive, well, I'll be blessed! Wine's been poured, and thank the lord, I've had the napkins freshly pressed! With dessert, she'll want tea! And, my dear, that's fine with me! While the cups do their soft-shoeing, I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing! I'll get warm, piping hot! Heaven's sake, is that a spot?! Clean it up, we want the company impressed! We've got a lot to do! Is it one lump or two? For you, our guest!” Chorus and LaShawna: “She's our guest! She's our guest! She's our guest!” Chorus: “Be our guest, be our guest! Your command is our request! It's been ten years since we've had anybody here, and we're obsessed! With your meal, with your ease; yes, indeed, we aim to please! While the candlelight's still glowing, let us help you, we'll keep going!” Trent: “Course by course! One by one! Until you shout--!” Chorus: “Enough, I'm done!” Trent: “Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest! Tonight, you'll prop your feet up, but for now, let's eat up! Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Please be our guest!” / And the epic song and dance number ends, as all the enchanted objects eventually leave the dining room.

Bridgette says: “How LOVELY! What a WONDERFUL song!” Noah happily says: “Well, I’m glad we could give you a lovely evening! Why, it might have been almost as beautiful as you, if I do say so myself! Although, it IS starting to get a little late.” And he points to the hour that is signified on his face, being a clock. Noah says: “I think it’s time for us to go to sleep.” Bridgette asks: “How could I go to sleep NOW?! I’ve never BEEN in an enchanted castle, BEFORE!” Noah nervously asks: “Who on Earth said THAT?!” Noah turns to Trent, and Noah says: “YOU did that, DIDN’T you?!” Bridgette says: “Actually, it wasn’t that HARD to figure out!” (Confessional) Trent rolls his eyes and says: “Come ON, Noah! She’s not THREE, you know! I THINK she KNOWS an Enchanted Castle when she’s in one! They ARE kind of OBVIOUS!” / Noah asks: “How was I SUPPOSED to know that Trent didn’t tell HER?! Nobody EVER tells me ANYTHING around here! Or at the very least, they don’t tell me ANYTHING soon enough!” / Bridgette says: “You know, I think Noah has a NICE sense of humor! If ONLY he would EMBRACE it!” (End Confessional) Bridgette says: “I want to have a look around this place, and find out where everything is. Would that be all right with you?” Trent asks: “Can I give you a guided tour?” Noah says: “HOLD IT!!!! I’m not SURE that’s a BRIGHT idea!” Trent asks: “Why not?” Noah whispers: “Our MASTER would be very UPSET if he woke up to find SOMEONE out of their ROOM! Besides, we’re not supposed to take her into any ‘certain’ places, if you catch my DRIFT!” Bridgette says: “Perhaps you would feel better if YOU were the guide! I’m sure a SMART guy like you knows EVERYTHING about this place!” (Confessional) Noah says: “Yeah, I figure that Bridgette is PROBABLY just trying to flatter me, but I don’t GET a lot of compliments; genuine, or otherwise! In my case, I’M going to take what I can GET!” / Bridgette says: “I want to know what this place has to offer. It’s not important to me as to WHO shows me around, just so long as I know how to GET there!” (End Confessional) Noah says: “In that case, allow me to be your humble guide. Let me show you around.” / The lights dim and the kitchen setting is taken apart, and a huge hallway opens up for the next scene. /

Act Three, Scene Four: Discovery in the West Wing.              Noah and Trent are taking Bridgette down a long hallway, filled with LOTS of empty suits of armor; that are STILL alive, being enchanted objects. And the armor can’t HELP but turn their heads as Bridgette passes by them! They are also joined by the seal footstool. Noah says: “This is the Venetian-styled section of the castle. The arches are patterned after Michelangelo’s work in the Sistine Chapel, and replace the more Gothic tone seen in the rest of the castle. Plenty of the Gothic mood in this castle, took its inspiration from the great, Rococo patterns of the Baroque Period. After all, if it’s not BAROQUE, don’t fix it! Ha, ha, ha! Sometimes I crack myself up! As for YOU, armor! Please, keep WATCH!!!!” And the suits of armor resume their silent vigil. Noah says: “Now then, I would like to draw your attention to the flying buttresses above the…madame?” And Noah and Trent see Bridgette START to walk up a staircase! They run in FRONT of her and block her! Bridgette asks: “Excuse me, you’re BLOCKING the way!” Noah says: “Oh, there’s absolutely NOTHING to interest you in the West Wing! It’s completely boring and POINTLESS in the West Wing! Bland, insipid, all around DULL!” Bridgette asks: “So THIS is the entrance to the West Wing?” Noah nervously says: “OOPS!!!!” (Confessional) Noah blushes and says: “Revealing how to get to the West Wing, not one of the SMARTER moves I’ve made during my so-called life, such as it is.” /

Trent rolls his eyes and says: “And to THINK, Noah was criticizing ME, for wanting to BE the guide for Bridgette’s tour around the castle!” (End Confessional) Bridgette asks: “Excuse me, but what does Sasquatchanakwa KEEP in the West Wing, anyways?” Trent asks: “Why would you even THINK about it? There’s nothing to FIND in there, ANYWAYS!” Bridgette says: “Then it’s obviously NOT the West Wing, because that place is OFF limits, right?!” Noah asks: “Why are we even DISCUSSING this anyways? There are plenty of OTHER places to EXPLORE, RIGHT?! We have the most BEAUTIFUL pieces of artwork! Some of them date all the way back to…” Bridgette says: “Perhaps some other time!” Trent quickly says: “Our tapestries! Or…our gigantic LIBRARY!!!!” Bridgette gasps and happily says: “A LIBRARY?!” (Confessional) Trent says: “It’s ALL about finding her BEST interest! After all, our master tells us ALL the time that absolutely NOBODY can come into the West Wing! Not NOBODY, not no how!” / Noah says: “I must admit, Trent surprised me! I didn’t think he had it IN him!” / Bridgette says: “Don’t get me wrong. The library DOES interest me! After all, knowledge IS power, especially in the 18^th Century! And I know that I’m not SUPPOSED to, but I’ve just GOT to find out what’s in the West Wing! There’s just something inside of me, telling me to look! Besides, it might give me a clue as to WHY Sasquatchanakwa is acting the way he IS! Either way, I HAVE to know!” (End Confessional) Noah says: “Absolutely! We have a PLETHORA of books!” Trent says: “A myriad!” Noah says: “A collection!” Trent says: “A treasure trove of books!” Noah says: “The biggest collection of books that you can find ANYWHERE in the 18^th Century! One that even rivals the legendary library of Alexandria!” And as the duo walks away, Bridgette walks up the darkly lit hallway, stopping as she sees her broken reflection in a shattered mirror. She heads for the doorway into the West Wing, and freezes momentarily. (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I feel like this is a turning point for me. One way or another, once I go into the West Wing, there probably won’t be any return for me. I feel like this must be similar to the opening of the Box of Pandora. It’s an object that you know you’re not SUPPOSED to open, but you open it anyways! All I know is, if I don’t go into the West Wing NOW, it’s going to eat AT me for the rest of my life! Maybe even longer!” (End Confessional)

Bridgette sighs, and opens the door into the West Wing. She is surprised to see a bunch of broken, shattered objects lying around on the ground, and everything is in a disarray. Bridgette sees that Sasquatchanakwa is asleep, looking strangely peaceful as he slumbers in his dreams. Than Bridgette silently GASPS when he sees the portrait of a YOUNG, blonde-haired man in the picture, with bright, blue eyes, only the picture has been torn for a LONG time, and Bridgette can’t MAKE the face out! (Confessional) Bridgette asks: “Is this the secret Sasquatchanakwa is hiding? Was THIS the man who originally owned this castle? What happened to him? Does Sasquatchanakwa feel GUILTY about whatever HAPPENED to this man? The portrait says, Prince Adam! Maybe he’s the guy who used to own this place! Instead of answering ONE question, I’m instead left with MORE questions than I was before!” (End Confessional) Bridgette starts to wipe the dust off, in order to get a better look, but she is BLINDED by the bright beauty of the Enchanted Rose! (Confessional) Bridgette says: “An object of beauty? In a desolate place such as this? What is it doing here? And it’s starting to lose some petals. It needs sunlight and a vase of water in order to regain its true potential!” (End Confessional)

Bridgette whispers to the Rose, which has lost five petals. Bridgette quietly says: “Hold on. I’ll get you some proper care.” But just as Bridgette is about to TOUCH the glass case over the rose, Sasquatchanakwa shouts: “Stay AWAY!!!!” And Sasquatchanakwa runs to PROTECT his precious rose, looking disdainfully at Bridgette! (Confessional) Bridgette asks: “He APPRECIATES beauty?! Why didn’t he TELL me?! More importantly, why couldn’t he TRUST me?! Of course, I did come in here without permission; but he should have just TRUSTED me!” / Sasquatchanakwa says: “I offer this girl FREE room and BOARD, and this is how she REPAYS me?! By completely disobeying me?! I’m ASHAMED of myself for allowing this GIRL into MY castle!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa asks: “Why are you HERE?!” Bridgette says: “I’m so ASHAMED of myself! You’ve got to BELIEVE me!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I ASKED you not to TRESPASS in here!” Bridgette says: “I wasn’t going to HURT anything!” Sasquatchanakwa angrily asks: “Do you even comprehend how MUCH you ALMOST hurt?!!!” And Sasquatchanakwa BREAKS the head of a gargoyle statue! Bridgette says: “Don’t DO this!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “Go AWAY!!!!” Bridgette runs AWAY from him, and she says: “Stop!” Sasquatchanakwa yells: “GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” And Bridgette FLEES the West Wing, and Sasquatchanakwa hangs his head in SHAME when he realizes how BADLY he just BLEW it with Bridgette! Bridgette runs down the stairs, quickly grabbing her winter coat and putting it on! Trent asks: “Where are you off to?” Bridgette says: “I can’t KEEP my promise! That THING is just TOO much to BEAR!!!!” Noah pleadingly says: “Don’t go! PLEASE, don’t GO!!!!” And Bridgette runs outside the castle! /

Act Three, Scene Five: The Escape/The Return.         Bridgette gets on Ace, and they make a mad gallop across the frozen landscape, a big, blustery blizzard is blowing through the air, making travel difficult, though not impossible. (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I probably should’ve been paying ATTENTION to the weather a little more carefully, but I had to make a BREAK for it! This might be the only chance I have of getting back to my father!” / Ace nods his head in agreement with Bridgette’s statement! (End Confessional) However, as Bridgette is riding Ace, it becomes very CLEAR that the woods is NOT a safe place to be, as they ENCOUNTER a bunch of hungry wolves! (Confessional) Bridgette asks: “Where’s a HUNTER and a musket when you NEED one?! Even a HUNTING knife would be pretty good about now?! Well, I guess I’ve got to try to outrace them! Ace is swift and sure! He can get us away safely! RIGHT?!!!” / Ace merely shakes nervously! (End Confessional) Ace and Bridgette make a swift retreat away from the wolves. Bridgette uses the topography of the trees, and the landscape to escape the wolves, occasionally kicking them AWAY from Ace, or running them INTO trees in order to lose them! But the duo are AMBUSHED, and Ace’s reins get tangled up in the branches of a tree! Bridgette also loses her hair ribbon, and now her hair is flowing freely. Ace tries to kick some wolves away, while Bridgette also uses a sturdy branch to knock some wolves away! But it’s very CLEAR that the situation isn’t that GOOD for them, as there are WAY too many wolves to fight against! (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I am normally a peaceful type of person. The only reason I would fight against something PHYSICALLY, is IF it was a matter of self-defense! And believe me, right then! I was in full-on SURVIVAL mode! I was ready to tackle ALL those wolves if I needed to! But then, something happened that I never THOUGHT would happen!” (End Confessional)

Sasquatchanakwa GRABS a wolf, and ROARS in its face, before tossing it aside like a RAG doll! Sasquatchanakwa says: “Keep AWAY from HER!!!! Bridgette, stay behind me, and don’t let your guard DOWN!” Bridgette merely nods her head, mostly because she’s STILL in shock that Sasquatchanakwa is DEFENDING her! Sasquatchanakwa plows INTO the wolves, who instantly resort to their PACK mentality in order to fight him! But despite their superior numbers, Sasquatchanakwa is able to hold his OWN against the wild animals! But the fight DOES take its toll on Sasquatchanakwa, as SEVERAL wolves tear INTO Sasquatchankwa’s clothes, and severely CLAW his left arm! Finally, Sasquatchanakwa KNOCKS the Alpha Wolf into a tree! Unwilling to take anymore, the wolves wince, and retreat. Sasquatchankwa groans: “I…saved you. But it…took…everything I had…out of me.” And Sasquatchanakwa COLLAPSES in the snow! Bridgette STARTS to get on Ace, but then she stops! (Confessional) Bridgette says: “All this time, I thought that…Sasquatchanakwa didn’t understand the concept of compassion, of empathy. Or that he ever had any thoughts about protecting me. But seeing as how he put his own life on the line for me, I know now that I was wrong. All I’ve been doing was judging him, and I never took the time to get to know him! I can’t just LEAVE him here, now! I promised I would stay at his castle, and I want to keep my word. I just HAVE to go back! I’m sure if my father were here, he’d understand!” (End Confessional) Bridgette says: “Help me load him onto you, Ace. We’ve got a LONG walk to the castle in front of us.” /

The lights dim, and the scene opens up on the castle. Bridgette has prepared a warm pot of water, and places a rag in it. She wrings it, because she knows she has to CLEAN Sasquatchanakwa’s wounds before she can bandage him. Bridgette says: “I have to clean you up now, so don’t lick yourself.” Sasquatchanakwa says: “Easy!” And the household objects back up nervously! Bridgette says: “Just don’t MOVE!!!!” Sasquatchankwa yells: “ROAR!!!! It HURTS!!!!” Bridgette shouts: “Of COURSE it HURTS; I told you NOT to MOVE!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “If you had just STAYED here, I wouldn’t BE hurt!” Bridgette says: “If you didn’t try to SCARE me, I wouldn’t have TRIED to leave YOU!” Unable to argue with THAT point, Sasquatchanakwa says: “Well, you should have stayed OUT of the West WING!!!!” Bridgette says: “Well, YOU need to learn how to be more patient and FORGIVING of others when they make mistakes!” (Confessional) Trent says: “Wow! She is GOOD!!!!” / Sasquatchanakwa says: “I didn’t HAVE to risk my life to save Bridgette! She DID disobey me! It’s just that, she wasn’t giving me a FAIR chance! I didn’t expect to run into wolves, but as Bridgette can see; I would do ANYTHING to protect her!” / Bridgette says: “It seems that Sasquatchanakwa is perfectly harmless, ONCE you look him in the eye and let him KNOW who is actually RIGHT! It’s not heaven, and it’s not perfect, but I’ll take it for now!” (End Confessional) Bridgette says: “Just relax. This could sting a bit.” And Sasquatchanakwa winces. Bridgette says: “Oh! And I wanted to thank you for rescuing me! That was a very noble thing to do.” Sasquatchanakwa relaxes, and says: “I’m glad, I was able to be there for you.” / End of Third Sequence and fade to black. / I’ll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Wooly Bully!

 

                It is only early morning in a high school home room class. It’s before first period, and the class hasn’t even started yet. But some students have already entered the class room. Most notably, Toby, Lettuce, Usagi, Ebony, Naruto, BlackHawk, Bash, and Smash. Instead of their USUAL teacher coming in, EVERYONE is surprised when a SUBSTITUTE teacher walks in, and he is VERY familiar looking to BlackHawk, as the substitute teacher is a WALKING, talking, anthropomorphic blue dog! He writes his name on the chalkboard, and he says: “Good morning, class. Your regular teacher called in sick, so I am your substitute teacher, Anubis ‘Doggie’ Kruger; but you can call me Mr. Kruger for short!”

 

The class simultaneously says: “Good morning, Mr. Kruger.”

 

BlackHawk whispers to the other Rangers: “I know this guy! He’s one of the Legendary Rangers! From the S.P.D. days of the Ranger squadron! What’s he doing here and now?!”

 

Naruto whispers: “Probably for SOMETHING important! But what it is, I don’t know EXACTLY what it could BE just yet!”

 

Anubis says: “Anyways, I’d like to begin today by introducing a student of mine. All the way from New Tech City, please welcome Woolbur Fleecely!”

 

And an anthropomorphic, green sheep, wearing an S.P.D. uniform, enters the classroom. Anubis says: “Woolbur has come here to enhance his education, by learning skills and courses that are only offered at Coastal Falls. So please make him feel welcome while I prepare for your first lesson of the day; Advanced Robotic Repair Lessons Number One!”

 

And Woolbur takes the only empty seat in the classroom, which just HAPPENS to be right NEXT to Toby! Toby says: “Well, I guess I better get out the OLD notebook!”

 

And Toby reaches into his backpack to pull out his binder, but a BUNCH of “Pokemon” related MERCHANDISE and DRAWINGS fall out of it! Toby reaches down to GRAB it, but WOOLBUR picks it up first! Speaking in kind of a bleating voice, Woolbur asks: “What kind of stuff is this?”

 

Toby answers: “That’s my valued Pokemon merchandise!”

 

Woolbur asks: “Why do you OWN so much Pokemon merchandise?”

 

Toby says: “I used to be a Pokemon trainer! I was one of the best AROUND!!!! At least until my father passed away.”

 

Woolbur THROWS the merchandise in Toby’s face, and he angrily says: “I HATE Pokemon trainers! You guys and girls think you’re so HOT stuff; capturing HELPLESS little animals, and then locking them up inside little balls, and sadistically TRAINING them like they are your own personal SLAVES; like some trumped up GLADIATORS?! You make me SICK!!!!”

 

Anubis yells out: “Woolbur! What have I told you about acting out in a public setting?! Just because YOUR older brother died, does NOT give you an excuse to act HOSTILE towards other people!”

 

Woolbur SERIOUSLY says: “You AREN’T the boss of ME!”

 

Anubis seriously says: “I am going to kindly ask you to stand OUTSIDE; and THINK about how disrespectful you are BEING to other people in a PUBLIC setting!”

 

Woolbur begins walking outside, but he turns back to Toby, and Woolbur says: “We aren’t DONE with each other! We WILL, finish this LATER!”

 

And as Woolbur walks outside, Toby collapses on his desk in frustration, as he moans: “Come ON! What did I ever DO to HIM?!” /

 

On Emperor Diabolica’s ship, Emperor Diabolica has called up Queen Hedrian and Amazoness! Emperor Diabolica says: “Queen Hedrian, I’m afraid we must discuss the gigantic PROBLEM aboard this ship; the resources of your MONSTERS have been FALLING and FAILING at an ABYSMALLY high rate! I do not tolerate FAILURES in my empire! Perhaps I should call on for a STRONGER source of power. The Dark Kaiser has been looking for a chance to conquer the Earth again. Even, Dr. MANIAC wants to unleash some bio-beasts on Earth!”

 

Queen Hedrian desperately says: “You don’t need to DO that! I can do better than my sister! I WILL do better than my sister! I can show you that I’m the level of evil that Rita could never HOPE to be!”

 

Emperor Diabolica asks: “How are you going to do THAT?! With the exception of Amazoness, you have lost ALL of your loyal crew!”

 

Amazoness chuckles, and she says: “Not QUITE all of them! And we’ve got JUST the egg for the occasion! See for yourself!”

 

And Amazoness pulls out a FAMILIAR looking egg, pulsating with RADIATING evil energy! Emperor Diabolica says: “Impressive! This egg DOES seem to be a lot STRONGER than the OTHER ones!”

 

Queen Hedrian says: “That’s because, until RECENTLY, this egg USED to be my HUSBAND, Demon King Banriki, until he tried to KILL me and take the Hedrian throne for HIMSELF! So I had to PUNISH him, by reverting him BACK into an obedient monster slave! And you’ll be happy to know, that Banriki has a power level of over 13,000! None of the Rangers can boast THAT kind of strength!”

 

Emperor Diabolica asks: “Why should I throw away a perfectly good monster?! Banriki could be FAR more useful to us keeping the citizens of Core Earth in line, than as someone for the Power Rangers to roast over an open fire!”

 

Than a creepy voice whispers: “Don’t act like that! A STRONG monster like Banriki has his USES for you!”

 

Emperor Diabolica asks: “KHORNE?! You’re actually TALKING to us NOW?!” /

 

From many light years away; in an IMPRESSIVE Star Ship MANY times bigger and STRONGER than Emperor Diabolica’s ship, a CREEPY, blue-haired, blue-skinned, pointy-eared alien flashes a CREEPY slasher smile! Radiguet says: “YES!!!! I AM the one and only KHORNE!!!! And if you ask ME; Banriki can be used to POSSESS the body of someone the Rangers would never DREAM of hurting! It would cause a lot of CHAOS! And a lot of PAIN!!!! I suggest having Banriki possess the body of Woolbur Fleecely. With his added anger against Toby, he should have no problem; FINISHING those pathetic Power Rangers, once and for all!” /

 

Emperor Diabolica says: “I’m GLAD I thought of it! DRAKO; get your, mostly useless BUTT in here!!!!”

 

Drako rushes in, and he asks: “What do you want this time?”

 

Emperor Diabolica asks: “Can you take the content of this Hedrian Clan egg, and shrink it to fit inside of a blow-dart? I need this particular monster to possess the body of one Woolbur Fleecely! He will be the green, anthropomorphic sheep, who has a GRUDGE against Toby!”

 

Drako says: “A monster possessing a wooly bully? How exciting! But why don’t you ask one of your other loyal subjects to do it?”

 

Emperor Diabolica says: “Simple. They don’t have the HIGH level of competence and loyalty that YOU do! You ARE the only one, who has been unquestionably loyal to me throughout everything!”

 

Drako says: “That IS true, my lord! Very well! With T’zeen’tch as my witness, I will NOT let you down! Hedrian Egg, shrink to FIT!!!!”

 

And with his magic, the contents of the Hedrian Egg are SHRUNK to fit within the magic blow-dart gun being held by Drako! Drako says: “I will make SURE the Rangers have a DIFFICULT time prevailing against THIS beast of a monster!”

 

And Drako disappears! Amazoness asks: “You did not TELL Drako that KHORNE himself, told us to DO this particular deed?!”

 

Emperor Diabolica says: “No need to tell Drako about matters which do NOT concern him! Besides, my other servants are very BUSY at the moment!”

 

Queen Hedrian asks: “Doing what?”

 

Emperor Diabolica says: “Training and BRINGING you much needed back-up! I have HUNDREDS of loyal troops across the dozens of galaxies that I have conquered, and I think they will provide you with MUCH needed strength, to conquer the Rangers ONCE and for all!”

 

Amazoness says: “It’s nice to know that SOON, all of our troubles will be BEHIND us! With KHORNE to guide us, victory will SOON be imminent!” /

 

In his own space ship, Radiguet chuckles EVILLY to himself! Radiguet says: “Little do they know that I; the great God of JUDGMENT, has no intention of EVER bringing victory to EITHER of those two LOSERS!!!! Everything they have been doing has been so, according to MY personal design! Every evil thing they do, will gradually WEAKEN that STUPID LITTLE FORCE FIELD, preventing me from making a direct ATTACK against Core Earth! Once it’s gone, I will move in, and the whole UNIVERSE will be BEGGING for my mercy! And I won’t give it to them; because this universe deserves a BETTER class of villain, and I’m going to give them one, they will NEVER FORGET!!!!” /

 

It is lunch time, and Toby is sitting down to eat his mom’s home-made turkey sandwich, but then Woolbur comes along and KNOCKS the sandwich out of Toby’s hand! Toby asks: “Okay, did I do something AWFUL to you in a PAST life-time that I don’t remember about?! Well, whatever it was, I’m SORRY already! Okay?!”

 

Woolbur says: “SO not okay! How do you JUSTIFY owning and TRAINING a bunch of HELPLESS little Pokemon animals to do your dirty little BATTLES for you?!”

 

Lettuce comes up and asks: “Toby, is this guy bothering you?”

 

Woolbur says: “Don’t defend THIS guy, my fellow animal! He is an animal ABUSER!!!!”

 

Pinkie comes up, and she seriously says: “Toby has never hurt an innocent animal in his LIFE!!!!”

 

Woolbur says: “He’s LYING! But of COURSE, he would LIE!!!! All animal abusers DO!!!! You might may be too naïve to notice the TRUTH, but I’m NOT!!!!”

 

Pinkie asks: “What are you TALKING about? Toby is a really great guy!”

 

Woolbur says: “Not now, my lady. I will SAVE you BOTH from this BRAINWASHING that this guy has put you through!”

 

BlackHawk comes in and says: “And here I thought you just had an attitude problem! But now, I found out that you are either stupid, or you have some form of racism! You don’t strike me as the kind of guy who seems stupid! Do you have some kind of PROBLEM against Pokemon trainers?”

 

Woolbur strongly says: “You can’t honestly DEFEND this guy! He’s a HUMAN!!!! And humans are ALL alike! They will tell you that they are your BEST friends; and the minute you TURN your backs on them; they TAKE away the things that are MOST dear to you!”

 

BlackHawk decides to get serious, and he says: “All right, cut the CRAP; Woolbur Fleecely! I KNOW who you REALLY are; you’re the NEW S.P.D. Green Ranger!”

 

Woolbur panics, and he says: “Not so LOUD!!!! Do you want EVERYONE to HEAR and take you SERIOUSLY?!!!”

 

BlackHawk asks: “Do you REALLY want to test me? I talked to Mr. Kruger earlier; you’re BETTER than this! You’re a man of high position, esteemed by your peers! Loved by every guy at the S.P.D. academy! Especially your older brother!”

 

Woolbur asks: “What do you know about my older brother?”

 

BlackHawk says: “Nothing personally, but from what I heard, he was a GREAT guy, and he was a GREAT S.P.D. Green Ranger, until the arrival of Dr. Maniac! I heard he tricked the other Rangers into a trap, and the only way that FIVE of them could escape, was for one of them to stay behind in the trap so that the OTHERS could get out! Your older brother saved the LIVES of five, by giving up his own! Ever since then, you’ve had this irrational deep distrust about people, all because of ONE terrible tyrant!”

 

Woolbur yells: “My brother meant EVERYTHING to me! And that CREEP took him away from ME!!!!”

 

BlackHawk says: “I know it HURTS; but hurting other people isn’t going to BRING your brother back, and it will NEVER make you feel any better! Trust a guy who KNOWS from PERSONAL experience!”

 

Woolbur angrily says: “You don’t know what it feels like! You don’t know at all!”

 

And Woolbur runs outside! Toby asks: “Do you mean to tell me that Woolbur has been hurting ME, because he HIMSELF, was hurt?”

 

BlackHawk sighs and says: “Unfortunately, from my personal experience, I find that MOST bullies who hurt other people, have often been hurt THEMSELVES in the past!”

 

Toby says: “Still doesn’t explain why he decided to take it out on me.”

 

Lettuce says: “Obviously, Woolbur doesn’t know how to deal with his pain. Maybe if he found out that he had something in COMMON with us, he might respond BETTER to being friendly with us.”

 

Toby sighs and says: “It’s worth a shot. I certainly can’t think of any better ideas to try out!” /

 

Woolbur has run outside, and he asks himself: “What does that black bird know about pain and loss?! Besides, why should I have to admit that I’M wrong?! What would it prove, ANYWAYS?! It wouldn’t CHANGE anything! You can’t change the past!”

 

Woolbur looks up at the sky, and he shouts: “You said you would always BE there for me! But you’re NOT, and it’s because of ME! It’s MY fault! It’s MY FAULT!!!!” /

 

In the bushes, Drako mutters: “Feeling pain because you’re feeling guilty? No problem! Soon, you WON’T feel anything at ALL!!!!”

 

And Drako blows through the blow dart gun, and the dart HITS Woolbur in the neck! Woolbur asks: “Hey! What IS that?!”

 

He tries to remove the dart, but because of Drako’s MAGIC, it CAN’T be removed! Drako chuckles, and he says: “The deed is DONE!”

 

And Drako disappears, and inside, Demon King Banriki begins to regain his SENSES!!!! Banriki says: “I feel STRONG again! This new body will be PERFECT to bring about my COMEBACK, and I will DESTROY that TRAITOR of a wife, Queen Hedrian for SURE!!!!” /

 

BlackHawk, Lettuce, Toby, and Pinkie run toward Woolbur, and Toby says: “Woolbur, we need to talk to you!”

 

Woolbur nervously says: “Don’t come close to me! I don’t feel like myself!”

 

Pinkie asks: “What are you talking about?!”

 

And in a now demonic voice, with Banriki SPEAKING through Woolbur, he says: “GO AWAY!!!!”

 

D.O.G. rushes in, and barks LOUDLY, blowing the TRANSFORMING Woolbur several feet away! BlackHawk asks: “D.O.G.; why or what are you doing here?!”

 

D.O.G. says: “I didn’t come here to get an education! I smelled something WRONG here, and I was RIGHT! Demon King Banriki has been INJECTED into Woolbur!”

 

And sure enough, Woolbur transforms from his calm-looking, serene self, into a HULKING, ferocious sheep beast with LARGE bull horns! Over the intercom, the principal announces: “Coastal Falls Academy is declaring a state of EMERGENCY!!!! We ask that the school be IMMEDIATELY evacuated! Be gather all your belongings, and get to the nearest safe spot in an orderly fashion!”

 

Banriki yells: “SHUT up!!!!” And HE blasts the nearest intercom, FRYING it into uselessness!

 

Toby says: “That’s unacceptable! You want to bully ME around? That’s FINE!!!! But when you take it out on EVERYONE else, that’s where I HAVE to draw the line! We’re going to fight fire with FIRE! It’s MORPHING time!” /

 

BlackHawk says: “Spinosaurus!” / Toby says: “Stegosaurus!” / Pinkie says: “Ankylosaurus!” / Lettuce says: “Triceratops!” / The Morphed Rangers simultaneously say: “Power Rangers!”

 

BlackHawk says: “D.O.G., get the other Rangers out here FAST! We’ll need their help in order to deal with Banriki POSSESSING Woolbur Fleecely!”

 

D.O.G. says: “Will do, BlackHawk!”

 

Banriki evilly says: “You’re not going ANYWHERE!!!!”

 

But BlackHawk ZOOMS fast, and STOPS Banriki’s spiky sword with his OWN Electric Sabre! Banriki says: “Out of my WAY, you LOUSE!!!! That meddling D.O.G. has been a thorn in my side for LONG enough!”

 

BlackHawk seriously says: “I will NEVER allow you to harm D.O.G.! Not as long as I’m ALIVE!!!!”

 

Banriki seriously yells: “Wooly Imps, ATTACK!!!!”

 

And a bunch of Imps covered in the SAME wooly armor that Banriki is, surround the Rangers! Toby says: “Okay, I wasn’t expecting this!”

 

Pinkie says: “We can take these creeps!”

 

Lettuce says: “Agreed! Let’s put these over-grown paperweights OUT of commission!”

 

And using their power weapons, the Rangers, fight against the Wooly Imps, all while a ROCKING hit song by Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs is playing. / “Uno, dos, one, two, tres, quarto! Watch it now, he’ll get you! Here it comes, here it comes! Watch it now, watch it! Matty told Hatty about a thing she saw. Had two big horns and a wooly jaw. Wooly bully, wooly bully. Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully. Hatty told Matty, "Let's don't take no chance. Let's not be *L-seven*, come and learn to dance." Wooly bully, wooly bully. Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully. Watch it now, watch it! AHHH!!!! (Musical solo) Matty told Hatty, "That's the thing to do. Get you someone really, to pull the wool with you." Wooly bully, wooly bully. Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully. Watch it now, watch it! You got it!” / And the epic song ends as all the Wooly Imps are taken down, and they disappear!

 

Banriki says: “Fine! So you don’t want to play with my Imps? No problem! I’ll take care of you; ALL of you!!!!”

 

The other Rangers come rushing in, and Naruto says: “We’re here to help!”

 

BlackHawk says: “It’s about time!”

 

Usagi says: “Sorry we’re late! We just had to make sure there was nobody else left around at the school!”

 

Ebony says: “And now that we’re all alone, it’s MORPHING time!” /

 

Ebony says: “Velociraptor!” / Usagi says: “Hadrosaurus!” / Naruto says: “Tyrannosaurus!” /

 

Banriki says: “You can’t hurt me! As long as I possess the body of Woolbur Fleecely, you’re not even going to TOUCH me, let alone, KILL me!”

 

Naruto asks: “Omnus, we could really use some help here!” /

 

Omnus says: “Rangers, use the Thunderslingers on STUN level! That will be strong enough to EXPEL Banriki from Woolbur, WITHOUT harming Woolbur in the process!” /

 

The five main Rangers pull out the Thunderslingers, and Lettuce says: “Got it!”

 

The five main Rangers simultaneously say: “Thunderslingers, STUN level!!!!”

 

And they all FIRE at Banriki at the SAME time, and sure enough, Woolbur REVERTS back to his normal self, though all his clothes have been torn UP as a result of Banriki possessing him, while Banriki gets tossed out, but STILL possessing his strong bully horns! Banriki says: “No fair! You weren’t supposed to HIT him!”

 

Toby asks: “Did you honestly believe that we were just going to LET you take over somebody else’s body like that?! Not as long as WE’RE around!!!!”

 

Banriki seriously says: “So allow me to take care of that problem, RIGHT now! FIST of the DEMON King!!!!”

 

And utilizing a BUNCH of fire power, he directs it at the Rangers, but they HOLD their ground! But the force is SO strong, it blows their HELMETS right off! Woolbur recovers, and he SEES the helmetless Rangers, and he asks: “YOU’RE Power Rangers, TO?!!!”

 

BlackHawk asks: “Well, why do you think I was able to talk to Mr. Kruger so OPENLY about you?”

 

Woolbur gasps in shock, and he realizes just how HORRIBLE he has been acting toward these heroic Rangers! Woolbur says: “I am SO ashamed of myself! I didn’t know, I SWEAR!!!!”

 

Banriki mock cries and says: “Boo-hoo-hoo! I’ve NEVER had a friend in my ENTIRE life, and my life is JUST perfect! Friends do nothing but get in your WAY, with their PETTY ‘relationships,’ their STUPID ‘feelings’, not to MENTION all the times a GIRL will ask you for a ‘favor,’ which is REALLY just a way of saying that they really WANT you, to put a very LONG--.”

 

BlackHawk seriously says: “DON’T even GO there, Banriki! How DARE you call yourself a great warrior?! Putting a fellow Ranger through something like THIS?! You should be ashamed of yourself!”

 

Banriki seriously asks: “Do you think I ASKED to be reduced to THIS?! Because spoiler alert; I DIDN’T!!!! I was once the perfect WARRIOR of the Hedrian Clan! Uninhibited by petty, useless emotions! But then Queen Hedrian wrapped ME around HER arms, and turned my entire WORLD upside down! She took away my STRENGTH!!!! My ARROGANCE!!!! My REASON for FIGHTING!!!! She convinced me that by combining my strength with HERS, I would have EVERYTHING, and SHE left me with NOTHING!!!! That’s why I HAD to do what I have done! I needed a way, to return myself, to the warrior I was BEFORE!!!!”

 

Woolbur says: “You think emotions are useless? Well, you may be right about one thing. Sometimes, emotions DO cause you to feel pain and hurting. But that’s NOT a bad thing; that just makes you normal! And after going through what I went through with YOU; I’d RATHER feel hurt about not having my brother around anymore, as opposed to NOT being able to feel anything at all! I might not have been able to stop Dr. Maniac from taking my brother away from me, but I won’t ALLOW you to take these Ranger’s lives!”

 

Woolbur reaches into his wool, and he PULLS out an S.P.D. morpher! Woolbur says: “S.P.D., EMERGENCY!!!!” / Using a mighty jump, a morphing sequence shows a powerful surge of energy, allowing Woolbur to morph into the S.P.D. Green Ranger!

 

Woolbur grabs the Rangers’ helmets, and he throws them BACK to them! Woolbur says: “I think you guys might NEED these!”

 

Toby says: “Right! Back to action!”

 

And they put their helmets back on! Banriki says: “Do you think I’m scared of one more Ranger?!”

 

Woolbur says: “No, but you might be scared of THIS! Rangers, take my S.P.D. Blaster, and use it with your Power Weapons!”

 

Lettuce says: “You’ve got it!”

 

Toby says: “Water Ax and Thunderslinger!” / Pinkie says: “Diamond Boomerang and Thunderslinger!” / Usagi says: “Wind Staff and Thunderslinger!” / Lettuce says: “Earth Mace and Thunderslinger!” / Naruto says: “Flame Sword and Thunderslinger!” / Ebony says: “Shadow Daggers!” / BlackHawk says: “Electric Saber!” / Woolbur says: “S.P.D. Blaster!”

 

The Rangers simultaneously say: “Special Ultra Power Blaster Cannon, FIRE!!!!”

 

And the powerful BEAMS of energy FIRE at Banriki, and they knock him DOWN in one hit! /

 

Queen Hedrian angrily says: “Did I tell you that you could get beat UP like THAT?!!! Get off your lazy butt THIS instant, or I SWEAR I will make you SUFFER a HELL far worse than you could POSSIBLY IMAGINE!!” /

 

Banriki gets up, and he wearily says: “Time for round two! I’ll give you a thrashing you won’t soon forget, as I take all my STRENGTH, and GROW!!!!”

 

And sure enough, Banriki grows fifty feet high, and his energy is rejuvenated! Banriki says: “Now THIS is the power that I’m talking about!”

 

Woolbur asks: “Can you Rangers take it from here? I’ll get D.O.G. to safety!”

 

Ebony says: “We sure can! We need Dinozord Power, NOW!!!!”

 

Six of the Rangers summon their zords normally, while Ebony plays her guitar to summon the Velociraptor Zord! The Rangers all get into their respective zords! Naruto says: “Rangers, we need to summon the Velociraptor Multi-Megazord! BlackHawk, keep Banriki busy while we get it formed!”

 

BlackHawk says: “Can do, Naruto! Fire full arsenal!!!!”

 

And firing a flurry of missiles and torpedoes, BlackHawk KNOCKS Banriki down to the ground! And this gives the Rangers the time they need to form the Velociraptor Multi-Megazord!

 

Usagi says: “All right! We need to dispose of this bad guy for good!”

 

Lettuce says: “I call upon the power of the POWER Sword!!!!”

 

And the Power Sword electronically appears in the hands of the Megazord! The Megazord begins SLASHING at Banriki as he CLAWS at the Megazord, but the sword is BARELY seeming to PHASE him, despite making SEVERAL cuts in his body! Banriki laughs and he says: “Do you think that little TOOTHPICK is going to maim ME?!!! You’re going to have to come up with something a LOT more painful than that! WATCH!!!! FIST of the DEMON King!!!!”

 

Pinkie says: “ANKYLO Shield!!!!”

 

The Shield BLOCKS the attack, but the Megazord STILL gets pushed several yards BACKWARDS, and gets TOSSED to the ground! Toby says: “That won’t work! Now what?!”

 

Naruto says: “Let’s use the V Blast attack!”

 

The other Rangers simultaneously say: “RIGHT!!!!”

 

And they fire the V Blast at FULL strength, but it only ends up making a V-shaped SCAR on Banriki’s chest! Banriki says: “Queen Hedrian APPREICIATES it whenever I get a new scar in battle! It makes me look SO, masculine!” /

 

Alpha Eight says: “Rangers, you need the power of ALL the zords! It’s the only way to take Banriki down for good!” /

 

BlackHawk says: “Got it! Time to form the Multi-Ultrazord!!!!”

 

And sure enough, the Velociraptor Multi-Megazord, connects with the Spinosaurus, creating the powerful Multi-Ultrazord! Lettuce says: “Rangers, let us connect the Thunderslingers in, and create a super-powered charge!”

 

The Rangers simultaneously say: “Ultrazord, fire FULL arsenal!!!!”

 

And with a flurry of ultra-powerful attacks, the Ultrazord wreaks unimaginable PAIN on Banriki! Banriki cries: “This cannot happening to ME!!!! My QUEEN, don’t forsake the DEMON KING!!!!”

 

And Banriki blows UP in a gigantic ball of flame! Toby says: “Rangers; that was a super-powerful win!” /

 

On Emperor Diabolica’s ship, Amazoness sighs as she produces a bust of Banriki, and puts it on the ever growing SHELF of Queen Hedrian’s fallen monsters! Amazoness sighs, as she says: “This is UNTHINKABLE!!!! How can one of Queen Hedrian’s BEST, fail just like the rest?!”

 

Vipera arrives, and she says: “I’ll tell you how! He doesn’t have the discipline and skill to know WHEN to retreat the way I do!”

 

Amazoness angrily says: “This is all YOUR fault! If you and your FRIENDS had been around to help, we would be COMPLAINING about having nothing to do!”

 

Vipera says: “While I would LOVE to send Circe and Kraky to their DEATHS, Emperor Diabolica says that he NEEDS them for his world conquering plan!”

 

Amazoness says: “IF Emperor Diabolica EVER stops being mad about THIS latest failure!!!!”

 

Emperor Diabolica FLAILS a painful Cat O’Nine Tails Whip at his Imps, and he angrily says: “You stupid minions have failed me YET again!!!! Why do you DO this to ME?! You all give me such a HEADACHE!!”

 

Vipera says: “I SEE what you mean!”

 

In a hidden chamber on Emperor Diabolica’s ship, Queen Hedrian is heard being talked to by RADIGUET again! Radiguet whispers to her: “Poor Queen Hedrian! Banriki didn’t destroy the Rangers at all? Did he? How could you let that husband of yours HUMILIATE you; SO completely, hmmm?!”

 

Queen Hedrian says: “Please, Khorne! It’s not my fault! I’m doing my best! I’m trying! I really am!”

 

Radiguet says: “You don’t want to be REPLACED, do you?! It would be a REAL shame to have the younger sister of RITA Repulsa, be replaced by a bad guy who got DEFEATED by the Power Rangers Valor Force, or a bad guy who got defeated by the Power Rangers Bionic Force?”

 

Queen Hedrian desperately says: “NO! I CAN do this!!!! Let me call upon the strength of my allies, from the Black Magma Empire! They will give me ALL the power I need to destroy the Rangers once and for all! I WILL make my father proud, and be the daughter who made ALL of Master Vile’s dreams, come true! I’m the only one who CAN!!!!”

 

Radiguet says: “See that you do! I WOULD like to meet up with you PERSONALLY!!!!”

 

Queen Hedrian bows, and says: “I will not let you down, Khorne!” /

 

On Radiguet’s ship, Radiguet says: “Poor Queen Hedrian! She has NO idea that her life is nearing a tragic END!!!! I’ve already sent my GOOD Friends, Queen Beryl and Doctor Maniac as an advance party for my ARRIVAL! Since Emperor Diabolica and Queen Hedrian CLEARLY aren’t evil or capable enough of weakening that stupid force field FAST enough; I shall simply have to rely on TOUGHER, STRONGER villains, to do the job FOR me! In terms of Core Earth time, I estimate they’ve got about six weeks LEFT to LIVE!!!! Oh, I just LOVE IT when Im NASTY; which is all the TIME!!!! HA, HA!!!!” /

 

The Rangers are now de-morphed, and they’re hanging around the High School swimming pool, waiting for someone. Sans rushes up, and he says: “I got some spare, green clothes for Woolbur! You’re lucky that I decided to work as a clothes sales skeleton today!”

 

Woolbur gets out, and he says: “I’m VERY thankful!”

 

And Woolbur shakes himself dry! Ebony says: “You ARE pretty impressive! But NOT as impressive as BlackHawk!”

 

BlackHawk asks: “How would YOU know how impressive--?”

 

Ebony says: “I sometimes use Polyjuice Potion to disguise myself as a boy in order to sneak into showers and ‘SIZE’ up the competition, so to speak! Don’t worry, nobody comes CLOSE to matching YOU!”

 

Toby says: “Girl has some WEIRD hobbies!”

 

Woolbur puts on his clothes, and he says: “I’m so SORRY for all the trouble I put you through! I’m not worthy of being a Power Ranger the way you are.”

 

Lettuce asks: “Why would you say that? You were pretty TERRIFIC once you got Banriki out of your system!”

 

Woolbur asks: “How do you figure? If Dr. Maniac hadn’t have captured me, my older brother wouldn’t have had to sacrifice his life for me!”

 

Toby asks: “Wait a minute! Did you say Dr. Maniac?!”

 

BlackHawk asks: “You’ve heard of HIM, to?!”

 

Toby says: “Dr. Maniac was the main antagonist for the Power Rangers Bionic Force! And unfortunately, Woolbur, your older brother was NOT the first Ranger to be MURDERED by the genius CREEP! The very first yellow Ranger of the Power Rangers Bionic Force got KILLED only nine adventures IN!”

 

Woolbur asks: “Is THAT supposed to make me feel any better?”

 

Toby says: “Well, if it makes you feel any better, you’re not the only one who has lost someone close. I’ve lost my father as well.”

 

Usagi says: “Woolbur, we can never replace the brother you lost, but we would be HONORED if you could learn how to become our friend, and work together to STOP creeps like Dr. Maniac from taking away any MORE innocent lives!”

 

Woolbur says: “I’d like that! Mr. Kruger, would you come here, please?”

 

Kruger walks out, and he asks: “Do you need to talk to me, Woolbur?”

 

Woolbur says: “Yes, sir. I’d like to stay here. I found out that I have more in common with these Rangers than I thought. So I’d like to stay and help out when I can. It’s the least I can do for what I’ve put them through.”

 

Kruger smiles, and he says: “I was hoping you’d say that, because it will be YOUR responsibility to call the Legendary Rangers together, when it is time for ALL of us to band together!”

 

Naruto asks: “All of you?”

 

Kruger says: “You’ve met five other Rangers, right? There is one more besides me, and HE is the fiercest, and most powerful Red Ranger among ALL the Red Rangers! No offense, Naruto!”

 

Naruto sighs, and he says: “None, taken.”

 

Kruger says: “We will meet again when the time is right! Dismissed!”

 

And Kruger teleports out of there! Woolbur asks: “So, Toby; why do you train Pokemon, anyways?!”

 

Toby excitedly says: “I thought you would NEVER ask! It all started when I was very young”

 

And they run off together while they start talking! BlackHawk says: “This looks like the beginning of a BEAUTIFUL friendship!”

 

D.O.G. says: “It sure does, BlackHawk! It sure does!” /

 

Epilogue, Power Fact! : The Rangers, de-morphed and out of character, appear to talk directly to the TV audience. Toby says: “Unfortunately, in many schools, bullying is still a major problem, and often can’t be solved in just a 22 minute time span.”

 

Pinkie says: “That’s why it is up to ALL of us to make a difference, by reaching out, and understanding the differences between all of us!”

 

Lettuce says: “Try talking to people. You might find out that you have more in common than you think.”

 

Ebony says: “And if that still doesn’t work, the best thing you can do is ignore those who try to bully you.”

 

Usagi says: “Or if you can’t, get an adult to try and help you out in a situation. Most adults are VERY sympathetic, and will often be very helpful to a student in need.”

 

Naruto says: “If we all work together, we can make school, and everywhere else a better place to be.”

 

BlackHawk says: “Remember, bullying is not cool, and it does NOT make you cool! And THAT, is a Power Fact!” /

 

Episode Notes: Character introduction of Woolbur Fleecely. He is the CURRENT Green S.P.D. Power Ranger, and he will become an occasional assistant to the other Rangers when the need arises. Anubis ‘Doggie’ Kruger makes a guest appearance in this episode, making him the sixth Legendary Ranger to appear, and mentions that there is one MORE Legendary Ranger, and HE is a Red Ranger! Demon King Banriki is unceremoniously DESTROYED in this episode! It is revealed that there are OTHER evil factions in the “Power Rangers Multiverse Force” universe. The Dark Kaiser (from “Super Sentai Goranger/Power Rangers Valor Force”), the Black Magma Empire (from “Super Sentai Sun Vulcan/Power Rangers Solar Force”), and Dr. Maniac (from “Super Sentai Bioman/Power Rangers Bionic Force”). Queen Hedrian mentions the Black Magma Empire as her allies, and decides to CALL on their help to aid her in her battles against the Power Rangers, while Dr. Maniac is revealed to be associated with SOMEONE named Queen Beryl! They will BOTH play more prominent roles in season two of “Power Rangers Multiverse Force!” It is CHILLINGLY revealed that Greater-Scope Villain, Radiguet, has been secretly TALKING to the main villains by POSING as the Blood God, KHORNE, and HE has been the one INFLUENCING all of their decisions so far! Everything the main villains have done, has been to WEAKEN the force field around Earth, PREVENTING Radiguet from making a direct attack on Earth! Radiguet also has the same VOICE actor as HIM, from the original version of “The Powerpuff Girls”! Featured song in this episode is “Wooly Bully,” which is also the episode title! /

 

Personal Notes: The one thing I wanted to do with this episode, was to AVOID the cliché used trope that, “Adults are useless!” From my personal experience, adults are almost NEVER useless, and many of them have been MORE than willing, and more than able to help me out whenever I have had a problem! That’s why Anubis ‘Doggie’ Kruger immediately RECOGNIZED that Woolbur had a problem (because Kruger already knew about it), and tried to peacefully resolve the problem. The theme I was going for with this episode, was that there is a lot more that unites us, than there is that divides us. That’s what I wanted to explore with this episode. /

 

That’s my episode idea for today!  Enough said, true believers! 

 

 

[4EverGreen]

Here are Acts Four and Five, and the Epilogue, of "Total Drama Presents Beauty and the Beast," from my "One Shot Stories" topic. /

Total Drama: Beauty and the Beast

Act Four, Scene One: The Insidious Plan.      The scene opens up in the root beer pub, it is late at night, and empty of any people, save for three. Alejandro and Scott are meeting with a strange man, who concerns himself only with money, and very little about anything else. Alejandro says: “Thank you for coming on such short notice Monseuir Ezekiel.” Ezekiel says: “It’s not often that I get away from the Insane Asylum this late at night; but after you promised me a lot of money, I figured it would be worth my time.” And Alejandro plops a big bag of gold coins onto the table they are sitting at. Ezekiel’s eyes light up, and he intently says: “You HAVE my attention!” (Confessional) Alejandro says: “From my experience, everyone has a PRICE that they are willing to pay, in order to give up on their ‘principles, pride, dignity’ and other such nonsense. What I’m planning to do, is that I’m planning on making Bridgette an offer she can’t refuse! I won’t LET her!” (End Confessional) Alejandro says: “Here’s the deal. I’ve got my mind set on getting married to Bridgette. The trouble is, she has a…lack…of enthusiasm over the idea.” Scott says: “She rejected him FLAT out!” Alejandro angrily yells: “Shut up!!!!” Scott asks: “What did I say?!” Alejandro angrily says: “Keep your IDIOT opinions to yourself!”

(Confessional) Alejandro says: “Note to self, when I inevitably write the magnificent, glorious biography on my life, I will edit it to remove ANY reference to the stupid actions and words that Scott has said throughout his LIFE!” / Scott says: “I was just telling it, in the way that it went down. That’s no excuse for Alejandro to get all snippy about it.” (End Confessional) Alejandro says: “Now, everyone in town knows that her step-father, Chris Maclean is crazy! Why, just earlier tonight, he came IN this root beer pub, ranting about some Sasquatchanakwa, keeping Bridgette a prisoner in his castle!” Ezekiel says: “I know about Chris Maclean and his eccentric behavior. But Chris Maclean wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Alejandro says: “That’s not my point! Bridgette LOVES her step-father TOO much to let anything BAD happen to him! I’m willing to bet that she would do ANYTHING to keep him from being locked away!” Scott says: “Yeah, like become YOUR bride!” Alejandro angrily says: “Scott…!” Scott says: “I know, shut up!” (Confessional) Ezekiel says: “Normally, I’m against locking up people if they’re innocent. But when I’m given the right amount of money, I can look the other way. It’s nothing personal, it’s just the advancement of my own PERSONAL fortunes!” / Scott asks: “Now why did Alejandro get mad THAT time?! I was TRYING to give him a COMPLIMENT! Doesn’t Alejandro know a compliment when he HEARS one?!” / Alejandro says: “Second note to self, in the future, when making ‘friends,’ make sure those ‘friends’ have a rudimentary knowledge of tact and discretion, and that they have passed at LEAST the third grade!” (End Confessional) Ezekiel says: “Let me get this straight; you want me to lock up Chris Maclean in the Insane Asylum, unless Bridgette agrees to become your bride.” Alejandro gets a DELICOUSLY evil smile on his face, and says: “Precisely! If Bridgette agrees, we become the greatest couple in the world since King Louis and Marie Antoinette! If she refuses, I get to lock up her father, and humiliate HER in the process! Either way, I win! So what do you say, partner? Are you in?” (Confessional) Alejandro says: “If there’s one thing I love MORE than girls falling head over heels for me, it’s REVENGE! So if Bridgette refuses me THIS time, she will only have a HOLLOW victory to look forward to, because her Father’s name, and by extension, her name, will forever be TAINTED by Chris Maclean being labeled as a LUNATIC! I can’t LOSE!” / Ezekiel says: “Alejandro wants to know if I’m in? Well, I have only ONE possible answer for that!” (End Confessional) Ezekiel says: “Alejandro, you are simply DEPLORABLE!!!! I LOVE that in a man! You HAVE a deal!” /

Meanwhile, at Chris Maclean’s house, Chris is getting dressed for the winter weather, and packing as many valuable objects as he can into his backpack. Chris says: “I no longer CARE if I’m not getting any help! I’ll go back MYSELF if I have to! With everything I have, I just GOT to have SOMETHING that Sasquatchanakwa wants MORE than Bridgette!” (Confessional) Chris says: “When you come to know a person as much as I know Bridgette, you’re willing to do anything for her! Thankfully, if I come across any wolves THIS time, I’m armed with a Machete, and a knife! They won’t know what hit them! Besides, IF Bridgette ever decides to get married, I want to be around to see her kids! It’s the closest that I’ll ever be to being a Grandfather!” (End Confessional) Chris says: “That should be everything, then. It’s back to the castle, then. I’ll get Bridgette back, no matter WHAT it takes!” And Chris closes the door, and goes off towards the woods. Chris is unaware however, that some unwelcome strangers have arrived at his house. Alejandro and Scott knock on the door. Alejandro shouts: “Bridgette! Chris?!” Scott says: “Darn it, they’re not home! Guess we have to call the whole thing OFF!” Alejandro gets determined, and says: “Oh, NO we DON’T! They’ll come back eventually, and we’ll be prepared for that!”

Alejandro THROWS Scott into a snow pile next to Chris Maclean’s house, and Alejandro seriously says: “Scott, you will NOT vacate this place under ANY circumstances, until Bridgette and Chris come back here!” And Alejandro walks away from Chris Maclean’s house! Scott asks: “Not even to use the bathroom?!” But Scott doesn’t get an answer. (Confessional) Scott is dejected and says: “Very funny! Let’s have Scott do the most BORING part of this job, which is to be look-out! I can’t BELIEVE my rotten LUCK in life!” (End Confessional). /

Act Four, Scene Two: Something There.        Back at Sasquatchanakwa’s castle, the sun is shining over the fields of snow surrounding it. Ace and Bridgette are enjoying a nice day outside. Sasquatchanakwa, is watching over them, feeling a sense of longing and passion from deep inside himself. Sasquatchankwa says: “It’s strange, how I feel about Bridgette. The more I think about her, the more I care about her. I’ve got to do something wonderful to show her my feelings! Got any suggestions?” And Sasquatchanakwa turns to Noah and Trent for advice. (Confessional) Noah asks: “Now the big guy wants to know what I think? If he had ASKED me what I thought ten YEARS ago with that beggar woman came to the castle, we probably wouldn’t BE in this mess! But then again, nobody ever asks to hear what I honestly think, when it’s REALLY important!” / Sasquatchanakwa says: “I know OTHER guys probably have an EASIER time trying to impress girls, but I’m still a little NEW to this whole ‘empathy’ and ‘caring’ thing. I want to make sure I get it right, and I’m open to ANY suggestions available to me.” (End Confessional) Noah says: “I’ve got a few suggestions. There’s candy, jewelry, making impossible promises like the moon and the stars.” Trent says: “Real women don’t care about such trivial stuff, they want something important! Something that brings MEANING into their life!” Trent gasps and says: “Of course! I know JUST the THING that Bridgette likes!” (Confessional) Trent says: “Over the course of my life, I have learned to become a VERY good listener. I pay attention to what others say, so that I may be able to use it, in order to help out others in the future. It’s the secret to my romantic success with Gwen!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa and Bridgette are standing outside a very pretty doorway, with the doors closed. Sasquatchankwa says: “Bridgette, I’m about to show you something that nobody else has seen in ten years.” Bridgette says: “That sounds interesting.” Sasquatchankwa says: “But you’ve got to cover your eyes first; it will make the experience feel better once we make the reveal!” (Confessional) Bridgette says: “Now Sasquatchankwa has me intrigued! First he saves me, and now he wants to surprise me. Of course, I’m not going to fall over myself for just ANY old thing, but I’m willing to let myself be surprised! I have NO idea what it’s going to be!” / Sasquatchanakwa says: “Trent, this is where your knowledge and listening skills will be put to the test! Here is where you EARN your pay!” (End Confessional) Bridgette puts her hands over her eyes, and Sasquatchanakwa opens the door. Sasquatchanakwa says: “Wait while I get some light in this room.” And Sasquatchankwa opens the curtains, flooding the room with light! Bridgette asks: “Can I remove my hands now?” Sasquatchankwa says: “To see my gift for you? YES!” And Bridgette does so, and is AMAZED to see a gigantic ROOM of books, just like Trent and Noah described! There are SO many, there are even stairs and movable ladders, JUST to access the plethora of books available! (Confessional) Bridgette’s mouth is agape and she says: “Okay, now THIS I like! Who knew guys could be such book collectors?! Honestly, I’m VERY impressed!” / Sasquatchanakwa says: “Thank you, Trent! I couldn’t have done this without you!” (End Confessional)

Bridgette says: “This is AMAZING! I wasn’t aware that there could BE so many books in a single place, or even in the WORLD, for that matter!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “This place came WITH the castle. I never learned how to read myself, being an ape creature and all. It wasn’t really a skill that I needed.” Bridgette says: “I could teach you. Besides, I always LOVE reading a good book and expanding my knowledge! Reading could be the key to YOUR enlightenment!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I like the sound of that. Do you like this room?” Bridgette says: “I LOVE this room!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “Than you can keep it! You can read ANY book your heart desires!” Bridgette happily says: “I’ve never GOTTEN such a wonderful gift from ANYONE! How can I ever repay you?” Sasquatchankwa says: “There’s no need to. Your happiness is enough of a reward for me.” (Confessional) Sasquatchankwa says: “If I’m going to have a romance with Bridgette, I want it to be an honest one. No strings attached, because I want Bridgette to love me for what I am on the inside. I just hope that it’s enough to change the condition I’m in.” / Bridgette says: “It seems strange for me to find such a kind, and generous person in a package like Sasquatchanakwa. It just goes to show you that sometimes, you can find what you’re looking for, in the most unexpected of places. I could learn to ENJOY living here.” (End Confessional) Trent and the other Enchanted Objects are watching this from the doorway. Trent says: “What did I tell you guys? The idea was a hit! He’s made a lot of progress with Bridgette!” Gwen says: “You’re telling me! It kind of…brings a tear to your eye to see someone becoming so emotionally mature!” Noah says: “I must admit, Trent did GOOD, for once! It’s AMAZING what you can do when you apply yourself!” Cameron says: “Well, I like seeing a romance unfold as much as the next guy, but we STILL have jobs to do! This castle doesn’t run itself, you know.” LaShawna says: “Quite right! Come along, everyone! We’ve got a breakfast to prepare! I think Bridgette will be MORE than willing to eat with Sasquatchanakwa NOW!”

(Confessional) Gwen says: “Trent’s really been impressing me lately. I’m thinking that if Sasquatchanakwa is successful, than if and/or when I become human again, I might ask Trent to marry me! I would consider myself a LUCKY girl, than!” / Noah says: “It’s not often someone manages to impress me. As of right now, Trent has moved from a three to a seven on my Respect-o-meter. Not that anyone’s counting…besides me, I guess.” / Cameron says: “I was only four, when I became a cup. So I don’t remember MUCH of things from when I was a human. Although it must CERTAINLY be BETTER than just being a cup! I can’t WAIT to have actual arms and LEGS again!” / LaShawna says: “I think it’s very important that Sasquatchanakwa is showing Bridgette some caring and compassion. But what I’m really amazed is by how, it’s coming from within him. I guess caring and compassion can’t be given by force, it must be given through example. I guess even a spunky teapot like me, can stand to learn a few new things from Bridgette! She’s a REALLY amazing girl!” (End Confessional) Bridgette and Sasquatchankwa are sitting at the banquet table together. Bridgette is eating her oatmeal normally, but Sasquatchankwa is devouring it like a dog, until REALIZING that this is NOT how civilized people EAT! (Confessional) Sasquatchankwa blushes and says: “Okay, that’s not exactly what I would call a ‘good’ maneuver. It’s been ten YEARS since I had to eat like a person! Cut me some slack, okay?!” / Bridgette says: “I think that when I start reading to Sasquatchankwa, the first book I read SHOULD be a book of proper manners. After all, etiquette is just about EVERYTHING when it comes to the dining room table.” (End Confessional)

Cameron whispers: “Try the SPOON!” Sasquatchankwa sighs and says: “Well, here goes SOMETHING!” Bridgette watches, and she can’t help but smile when she sees how AWKWARDLY Sasquatchanakwa handles his spoon. Bridgette says: “Try it THIS way.” She picks up her bowl, puts it to her lips, and gently sips from it. Sasquatchankwa sees the way to do, and is able to eat his food normally! / Bridgette and Sasquatchankwa are outside, enjoying the nice weather. And they can’t help but sing what they are feeling, to the audience. /

Bridgette: “There's something sweet, and almost kind; but he was mean, and he was coarse, and unrefined. And now he's dear, and so unsure; I wonder why I didn't see it there before.” Sasquatchankwa: “She glanced this way, I thought I saw. And when we touched, she didn't shudder at my paw. No, it can't be, I'll just ignore; but then she's never looked at me that way before!” Bridgette: “New, and a bit alarming; who'd have ever thought that this could be? True; that he's no Prince Charming, but there's something in him that I simply didn't see!” Trent: “Well, who'd have thought?” LaShawna: “Well, bless my soul!” Noah: “Well, who'd have known?” Gwen: “Well, who indeed?” Trent: “And who'd have guessed they'd come together on their own?” LaShawna: “It's so peculiar.” All Enchanted Objects: “We'll wait and see, a few days more. There may be something there that wasn't there before.” Noah: “You know, perhaps there's something there that wasn't there before.” LaShawna: “There may be something there that wasn't there before.” / And the song ends, as Sasquatchankwa and Bridgette sitting down by the fireplace, with Bridgette reading a book to Sasquatchankwa. The Enchanted Objects close the door on this tender moment, in order to prepare the room for the next scene. /

Act Four, Scene Three: Beauty and the Beast.            Sasquatchankwa is in a large tub filled with soap bubbles, with D.J. helping him get all cleaned up for something special. Trent says: “I think we’ve got everything ready for you, sir! This will be your night of nights!” Sasquatchankwa nervously says: “I’m not sure if I’m ready for this.” Trent says: “This is no time to get stage fright! You must be brave, and fearless!” Sasquatchankwa says: “Brave and fearless? I can do that!” (Confessional) Trent says: “I’ve never thought of Sasquatchankwa as being timid about anything, but we’re kind of on a tight schedule! The Enchanted rose has almost lost 50% of its petals! We can’t afford to wait! We need to make a move on this, while we are still able to!” / Sasquatchankwa says: “The closer I get to being able to become human, the more nervous I get about it. After all, I have NO way of knowing if me falling in love with Bridgette and vice-versa, will ACTUALLY turn me human again or not. If it doesn’t, I REALLY don’t think Bridgette would be that THRILLED to be in a relationship with me.” (End Confessional) Trent says: “I’ve got the mood all set. LaShawna will sing her sultry voice, the lighting and ambience will be done to perfection, and once you are all happy together, you tell her your TRUE feelings that you have!” Sasquatchankwa asks: “But what if…?” Trent says: “Don’t give me a ‘what if?’ I mean, do you genuinely LOVE this woman?!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “More than any OTHER woman that I’ve ever met, and there aren’t a LOT of them!” Trent says: “Than that’s HALF the battle won already! You just do your part, and you let LOVE take care of the rest! Why, just LOOK at yourself, you look…FABULOUS!!!!” Sasquatchankwa LOOKS in the mirror, and sees his hair and beard done up in curls. Sasquatchanakwa seriously says: “This is NOT what I had in mind.” (Confessional) Trent says: “Note to self, Sasquatchankwa does NOT pull off FABULOUS!” / Sasquatchankwa says: “Note to self, I have GOT to hire a BETTER hairdresser!” (End Confessional) Trent says: “Okay, FORGET fabulous! Try ‘Elegant’ instead.” And D.J. fixes up Sasquatchankwa some more. Noah says: “Now that is PERFECT! Enjoy your evening!”

Beautiful piano music plays, as Sasquatchankwa is dressed in his elegant best, and Bridgette is dressed in a GLAMOROUS, green, glittering dress. As they enjoy dinner and dance together, LaShawna sings a love ballad. /

LaShawna: “Tale as old as time, true, as it can be. Barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly. Just a little change; small, to say the least. Both a little scared, neither one prepared, Beauty and the Beast. Ever just the same, ever a surprise! Ever as before, ever just as sure, as the sun will rise! Tale as old as time, tune as old as song. Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change. Learning you were wrong. Certain as the sun, rising in the east, tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, Beauty and the Beast. Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, Beauty and the Beast.” / The song ends, and LaShawna says: “It’s been a lovely evening, but I think that we should go to bed. Come along, Cameron.” Cameron says: “You go on ahead, I’ll catch up.” LaShawna says: “All right, but don’t linger too long.” Cameron says: “I won’t.” /

Act Four, Scene Four: If You Love Someone…          Bridgette and Sasquatchankwa are sitting in an outside balcony at night, and a shooting star flies past them in the night. Sasquatchankwa asks: “Bridgette, do you enjoy being here?” Bridgette says: “I think it’s a wonderful place. I never thought, I could ever be so happy, anywhere.” Bridgette sighs and says: “And yet…” Sasquatchankwa asks: “Is something on your mind?” Bridgette says: “I’m wondering what my Father is up to. If I could see him again, however briefly, it would mean a lot to me, to know he’s okay.” (Confessional) Sasquatchankwa says: “If Bridgette is unhappy, it makes me unhappy. So if there is a way to make Bridgette happy, and there is, than I feel obligated to show her.” / Bridgette says: “Sasquatchankwa is surprisingly light on his feet, and he’s a much better dancer than most other guys that I have danced with. Although admittedly, I haven’t DANCED with a lot of other guys; I’m just saying that based on what I have seen.” (End Confessional)

Sasquatchankwa says: “I’ve got an Enchanted Mirror. All you have to do, is ask you to show you something, and it will show you what you have asked to see.” Bridgette holds up the mirror and says: “Please show me Chris Maclean, and where he currently is.” The mirror glows, and a spotlight SHINES on Chris Maclean. Despite wearing a warm, winter outfit, Chris has collapsed down, in a cold, snowy field in the woods, and is coughing, as he has been driven to the brink of exhaustion! Bridgette asks: “What is my father doing by himself?! Did he try to come back for me?! If he dies out there by himself, I’m not sure if I could ever FORGIVE myself.” Sasquatchankwa looks at the Enchanted Rose, seeing that it has NOW lost more than 50% of its Rose Petals. (Confessional) Bridgette says: “That Enchanted Mirror works, but now I’ve become more worried than I’ve ever been before! Why does Chris Maclean have to be so brave and STUBBORN?! I feel so emotionally conflicted!” / Sasquatchankwa says: “There comes a time in everyone’s life, where they are faced with a difficult decision, or two. I know that time is running out for me; but the fact of the matter is, I couldn’t BEAR to live with myself, if I just sat around, and did nothing to help Bridgette. It may cost me everything, but deep down inside, I KNOW that I NEED to do this! It’s the only way Bridgette will ever be happy! (End Confessional)

Sasquatchankwa seriously says: “You HAVE to rescue your father!” Bridgette asks: “Are you SERIOUS?!” Sasquatchankwa says: “I’ve never been more serious or sure of ANYTHING else in my life! I’m giving you BACK your freedom. You no longer HAVE to stay here!” Bridgette says: “I could go back home?” Sasquatchankwa says: “It’s all your choice now.” (Confessional)

Bridgette says: “It says a LOT about someone, who realizes that they have a moral responsibility to free someone from having to stay somewhere. People in the American South could learn a LOT from how wonderful it feels to give someone their freedom.” / Sasquatchankwa says: “If I really CARE about Bridgette, and I do, I need to think about what’s best for her, and not what’s best for me. Even if it means that I don’t become human again, at least I will be able to live with myself, knowing that I did the right thing.” (End Confessional) Bridgette says: “You’ve given so much to me! And I don’t know where to BEGIN paying you back!” Sasquatchankwa says: “You can start by taking the Enchanted Mirror with you. In case you ever want or NEED to see anything else, you can use that as a key to find what you need.” Bridgette says: “I won’t forget what you’ve done for me. Someday, somehow, I’ll find a way to pay you back.” And Bridgette hurries to get changed out of her dancing dress, and into some winter clothes. Noah walks in and says: “Sasquatchankwa, you’ve made us ALL proud tonight! You certainly worked some miracles, didn’t you?” Sasquatchankwa sighs and says: “I gave Bridgette, her freedom back.” Noah says: “Of course you did! That’s won…” Than Noah FREEZES and realizes what Sasquatchankwa has SAID! Noah, bewildered, asks: “What did you do?! How could you THINK that?!” Sasquatchankwa sadly says: “It NEEDED to be done!” Noah asks: “And why is that?” Sasquatchankwa says: “Bridgette’s the one. I love her.”

(Confessional) Noah’s eyes are WIDE open and he says: “SERIOUSLY, I NEVER expected to see THIS coming, EVER!” / Sasquatchankwa says: “Love is wonderful, but it can also hurt, if you have to give up what you love in order to make them happy. But she HAS a chance to live a normal life! She never ASKED for a life with me! And I don’t think I can force her to do something she doesn’t want! Or rather, I CAN’T do that anymore! Love has changed me, and I’m never going to forget it.” (End Confessional)

Noah confronts the other Enchanted Objects, and they all ask: “THAT’S what he DID?!” Noah sighs and says: “It’s sad, but true.” Cameron asks: “Bridgette is LEAVING us?!” Trent moans and says: “We were SO close to fixing EVERYTHING!” LaShawna sighs and says: “It was an impossible decision. I probably would’ve done the SAME thing if I were in the same position Sasquatchankwa was. To think, now, at the end of things, Sasquatchankwa FINALLY knows what LOVE is!” Trent’s prop flames light up and he says: “Wait! It IS love! That’s what’s NEEDED to change us BACK!” LaShawna says: “If only it were enough. Bridgette needed to return that love BACK to Sasquatchankwa.” Noah says: “But if she leaves…” Gwen asks: “What will happen to us?” LaShawna sighs and says: “I don’t know.” And they don’t notice Cameron slipping out of the room.

(Confessional) Trent sighs and says: “The odds were ALWAYS against us! I guess there never WAS any real hope. Just a fool’s hope, that maybe, things would work out all right and the end.” / LaShawna says: “On the one hand, I’m proud of Sasquatchankwa for doing the morally right thing. Bridgette needed her freedom, to rescue her father. But on the other hand, it makes OUR futures look all dark and cloudy. I feel a REAL storm brewing in the air!” / Cameron asks: “Why is Bridgette leaving? It makes no sense! I need to hide in her backpack, and find out where she’s going to!” (End Confessional) Wearing her winter outfit, and hitching up Ace, Bridgette says: “Hang on, buddy! I’ve got a father to save! Giddy-up!” And as they rush off for the forest, Sasquatchankwa lets out one final roar! /

While Bridgette is searching for Chris Maclean, Sasquatchankwa unexpectedly preforms his version of a hit song, originally sung by Sting! / Sasquatchankwa: “Free, free, set them free. Free, free, set them free. Free, free, set them free. If you need somebody, call my name. If you want someone, you can do the same. If you want to keep something precious, you got to lock it up and throw away the key. If you want to hold onto your possession, don't even think about me. If you love somebody, if you love someone, if you love somebody, if you love someone, set them free! Free, free, set them free. Set them free! Free, free, set them free. If it's a mirror you want, just look into my eyes. Or a whipping boy, someone to despise. Or a prisoner in the dark, tied up in chains you just can't see! Or a beast in a gilded cage, that's all some people ever want to be! If you love somebody, if you love someone, if you love somebody, if you love someone, set them free! Free, free, set them free! Set them free! Free, free, set them free! You can't control an independent heart. Can't tear the one you love apart. Forever conditioned to believe that we can't live. We can't live here and be happy with less. So many riches, so many souls, with everything we see that we want to possess! If you need somebody, call my name. If you want someone, you can do, you can do; you can do the same. If you want to keep something precious, you got to lock it up and throw away the key! You want to hold onto your possession, don't even think about me! If you love somebody, if you love someone, if you love somebody, if you love someone, set them free! Free, free, set them free. Set them free! Free, free, set them free. Set them free! Free, free, set them free. Set them free! Free, free, set them free!” / And the epic song ends as Bridgette FINDS Chris Maclean! Bridgette says: “Don’t worry, everything’s going to be all right! I’ll get you back home!” / Bridgette takes Chris Maclean back home, unaware that Scott is HIDING behind the frozen bushes! Scott says: “They’ve returned! Finally! I was wondering how long it was going to take them! Alejandro’s window of opportunity has just opened! Poor Bridgette! Won’t SHE be surprised?!” / End of the Fourth Act and fade to black. /

Act Five, Scene One: Kill the Beast!               Chris Maclean has been changed into his pajamas, and is just now waking up to the sight of his beloved Bridgette. Chris moans and says: “It feels like I just got thawed out of the freezer.” Bridgette says: “Dad, you’re all right! Oh, I’m so glad!” Chris says: “I was to. I was worried that we’d never be together again.” Bridgette says: “I’ve got a lot to catch up on with you.” Chris asks: “For instance, I thought you were kept a prisoner in that castle run by Sasquatchanakwa! How did you get out?!” (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I always KNEW reading books was going to come in handy! Thanks to my knowledge of the best medical practices available, that DOESN’T involve leeches, I was able to give Chris Maclean a level of medical care, that under normal circumstances, probably WON’T be known about until like the 1860’s! And that’s PROBABLY because I am a WOMAN, and if a MAN ends up writing about the history of France, they’ll probably try to write me off, OR reduce ME to being a mere housewife! The 18^th Century is DEFINITELY not the best time for WOMEN in the world!” / Chris says: “I always thought of Bridgette as an angel, I just never thought that she would help ME from becoming an angel too early! I owe her a lot!” (End Confessional)

Bridgette says: “It’s kind of complicated. I’m not sure how or why, but Sasquatchankwa released me!” Chris asks: “That TERRIBLE creature just FREED you?!” Bridgette says: “But he’s NOT terrible anymore, if he ever truly was. Just…shut away and misunderstood. He really opened up to me while I was with him.” (CLATTER!) And Cameron falls out of Bridgette’s backpack! Cameron says: “Hi there!” (Confessional) Bridgette says: “Okay, Cameron is not just a light-weight, he’s like a FREAKY light-weight! I totally didn’t even FEEL him inside my backpack!” / Cameron says: “LaShawna always told me that if we HAD a scale that could measure MY weight, a FEATHER would end up weighing more than I do. Seeing as how Bridgette didn’t notice me until now, I guess that must be true.” (End Confessional) Chris Maclean says: “This is a pleasant surprise! I certainly never expected US to meet, again.” Cameron asks: “Bridgette, why did you leave us? I thought you were FOND of us!” Bridgette says: “Cameron, it’s not LIKE that! I am fond of you. But you see, I just had to…” (Knock, knock.) Bridgette stops, and asks: “I wonder who that could be? Cameron, you stay out of sight. I don’t have TIME to explain how a teacup can talk.” Cameron says: “Understood.” (Confessional) Bridgette seriously says: “I am going to be SO ticked off if that ends up being Alejandro trying to court ME again! I SWEAR, he NEVER quits! But he’s going to find out that I’m a lot more stubborn than HE is! This time, I’m putting my foot DOWN!” / Cameron says: “Okay, so Bridgette IS fond of us. But what does she have to do? I hope whoever is at the door, is only here for a quick visit. I want to find out just WHY Bridgette had to leave our castle.” (End Confessional)

Bridgette opens the door, and is SURPRISED to see Ezekiel standing on her porch. Bridgette asks: “Is something the matter, sir?” Ezekiel says: “I’m afraid this matter doesn’t concern you. It concerns Chris Maclean.” Bridgette asks: “Why does it concern my dad?” Ezekiel says: “It all boils down to his sanity…or rather, LACK thereof, I’m afraid! But you no longer have to worry about him endangering YOUR life any longer!” And Ezekiel reveals a LARGE, angry crowd, surrounding a covered wagon that is labeled: “Prison for Undesirables.” Bridgette angrily says: “My father’s NOT insane!” Scott says: “Shows what you KNOW! He was ranting like a CRAZED mad-man! We all remember what he said, DON’T we?!” Courtney says: “Lock him up! LOCK HIM UP!!!!” Chris puts on a robe and asks: “What’s going on out here?!” Scott says: “There’s the culprit himself! Remind us, Chris; just how large IS Sasquatchanakwa?!” Chris says: “From what I remember, he was REALLY tall! He must have been two…NO! More like, THREE yards TALL!” And the Angry Mob LAUGHS derisively! Scott says: “If that’s NOT the proof of an INSANE person, I don’t know what is!” Chris says: “I’m telling the TRUTH!” Scott says: “Put him in the wagon!” And Duncan and Topher come GRAB Chris by his arms, and try to FORCE him toward the Covered Wagon! Chris struggles and says: “I’m NOT going with you!” Bridgette says: “Ezekiel, you CAN’T put my dad away without a trial!” Ezekiel says: “Marie Antoinette said the same thing, and that didn’t turn out well for HER, either!” And Ezekiel heads to get into his wagon. Alejandro appears, feigns sympathy, and says: “This is absolutely DISTURBING, Bridgette! You must be APALLED by the behavior of your dad!” Bridgette pleads with Alejandro and says: “You have the greatest reputation of the town! Make this go AWAY for me!” (Confessional) Ezekiel says: “I don’t have to answer to Bridgette if I don’t want to! It’s not MY fault her father acted the way he did!” / Scott says: “I LOVE it when a plan of Alejandro’s comes to fruition!” / Chris says: “Note to self, in the future, if I EVER see any other large monster or beast EVER again, remember to keep it to myself!” /

Bridgette says: “Under normal circumstances, I would NEVER ask Alejandro for a favor! But this certainly ISN’T normal circumstances! Besides, this is his CHANCE to prove that there’s a kind, nice soul inside of him! He can’t be ALL bad!” / Alejandro says: “My plan is coming along nicely. Scott has whipped up this mob into a frenzy, and they have taken the bait! Now all I need to do is tell Bridgette MY side of the deal! I highly DOUBT she will refuse; because if she DID, she’d be no better than I am, when it comes to CARING about people! But if she DOES refuse, it’s STILL no skin off MY nose! It will serve as a permanent reminder as to what can HAPPEN to people who REFUSE me! And NOBODY, will EVER refuse Alejandro AGAIN!” (End Confessional) Alejandro says: “Bridgette, I can make this whole, UGLY mess go away, for a PRICE!!!!” Bridgette disgustedly asks: “A PRICE?!!!” Alejandro gets an EVIL glare and says: “You will be my BRIDE!!!!” And Bridgette gasps in anger! (Confessional) Bridgette angrily says: “It was HIM!!!! It HAD to be HIM!!!! Who else would be so SADISTIC as to conjure a plan like THIS up?! To think, I was actually HOPING there was a SHRED of DECENCY in there! But NOPE! Alejandro has proven to me, that there is absolutely NOTHING redeeming about HIM! He is now officially on the OFF section my Christmas list! And I never THOUGHT I would ever have to put ANYBODY on the ‘Off’ section of my Christmas list!” / Alejandro smirks, and says: “This is Bridgette’s last chance with me! All she has to do is SAY, ‘Yes.’ I know she doesn’t WANT her father to be locked up! She just has to say that one word, and I’m sure it will ALL be a funny memory, some day!” (End Confessional)

Bridgette angrily asks: “How could you?!” Alejandro says: “Really, your father’s freedom is on the line. Is this REALLY a good time to start pointing fingers? You know what I want. Is it REALLY so terrible to have to swallow your pride?!” Bridgette angrily says: “I will NEVER give YOU what you want; not even for all the money or BOOKS in the WORLD!” Alejandro growls angrily and says: “YOUR words, not MINE!” And Bridgette runs back into the house, knowing that Chris Maclean can’t hold off the Angry Mob once longer! Chris yells: “Let me GO!!!!” Bridgette says: “My father is NOT insane, and I have PROOF! Enchanted Mirror, show me SASQUATCHANAKWA!!!!” And a spotlight shines on the distant Sasquatchanakwa, who is STILL roaring his last lament! And Alejandro’s eyes glaze over in complete JEALOUSY and RAGE!!!! (Confessional) Alejandro angrily says: “Bridgette loves that thing?!!! Bridgette loves THAT THING?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I always knew she was a flighty, pointless, animal lover or some such non-sense, but to go out of her WAY to love some FILTHY creature, just to SPITE ME?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s where I draw the LINE!!!! Well, if I CAN’T have Bridgette, than I’m not going to let some STUPID ape thing have her EITHER!!!!” / Bridgette sighs and says: “I had no other choice. No matter what, I could NOT allow Alejandro to win! I couldn’t LIVE with myself if he DID!” / Chris says: “On the one hand, I know that I’ve just been vindicated! On the other hand, I think the Angry Mob just found a NEW outlet to unleash their vigilante justice on, and it’s NOT going to be pretty, especially if they have anything to say about it! And I’m PRETTY sure that some of them DO!” (End Confessional) Blainely asks: “Is it VICIOUS?!” Bridgette says: “You MUST give me a chance to explain! He is not a monster! If you knew him the way I did, you’d see the good soul inside of him! He’s really special!” Alejandro angrily asks: “What are you BLABBING about now?! The way YOU talk, people would actually think you CARED for that THING!!!!”

Bridgette defiantly says: “I care more for HIM, than I will EVER care for anyone like YOU; a low-life, narcissistic, scheming Machiavellian PSYCHOPATH!!!!” (Confessional) Alejandro angrily says: “Now Bridgette has the NERVE to insult ME?!!! And to call ME on the CARPET?!!! How DARE she?!!! Well, it’s no longer simply enough to simply HUMILIATE her NOW!!!! I must DESTROY the very creature she ‘loves!’ If I CAN’T have a HAPPY ending, than NOBODY CAN!!!!!!!!!” / Bridgette sighs and says: “It felt so GOOD to get that disgusting VILE out of my system! Now my soul is clean, and the healing can begin.” (End Confessional) Alejandro GRABS the Enchanted Mirror AWAY from Bridgette, and Alejandro angrily says: “You’re just as BAD as YOUR father!” (Confessional) Alejandro says: “If there’s one thing I know how to do very well BESIDES hunting down whatever I WANT, it’s getting an angry mob to do exactly what I WANT; in SONG!!!!” (End Confessional) /

Alejandro: “The Beast will make off with your children! He'll come after them in the night!” Bridgette: “No!” Alejandro: “We're not safe until his head is mounted on my wall! I say we kill the Beast!” Jacques and Josse: “Kill him! Kill him!” Dave: “We're not safe until he's dead!” Cody: “He'll come stalking us at night!” Taylor: “Set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite!” Don: “He'll wreak havoc on our village if we let him wander free!” Alejandro: “So it's time to take some action, boys! It's time to follow me! Through the mist, through the woods, through the darkness and the shadows, it's a nightmare, but it is one exciting ride! Say a prayer, then we're there, at the drawbridge of a castle and there's something truly terrible inside! It's a beast! He's got fangs, razor sharp ones! Massive paws, killer claws for the feast! Hear him roar, see him foam! But we're not coming home until he's dead; good and dead! Kill the Beast!” Bridgette: “No! I won't let you do this!” Alejandro: “If you're not with us, you're against us! Bring the old man!” Chris: “Get your hands off me!” (Alejandro throws Chris into a cellar.) Alejandro: “We can't have them running off to warn the creature!” (Alejandro throws Bridgette into a cellar, and LOCKS it from the outside!) Bridgette: “Let us out!” Aleandro: “We'll rid the village of this Beast! Who's with me?!” Justin, Max, and Mal: “I am! I am! I am!” The Angry Mob: “Light your torch, mount your horse!” Alejandro: “Screw your courage to the sticking place!” The Angry Mob: “We'll all let Alejandro lead the way. Through a mist, through a wood, where within a haunted castle, something's lurking that you don't see every day! It's a beast, one as tall as a mountain; we won't rest until he's good and deceased! Sally forth, tally ho! Grab your sword, grab your bow! Praise the Lord and here we go!” Alejandro: “We'll lay siege to the castle and bring back his head!” Bridgette: “I have to warn Sasquatchankwa! This is all my fault! Oh Papa, what are we going to do?” Chris: “Now, now, we'll think of something!” And Cameron sees Chris Maclean’s Axe chopping machine! Cameron says: “That’s it!”

The Angry Mob: “We don't like what we don't understand; in fact, it scares us! And this monster is mysterious, at least. Bring your guns, bring your knives, save your children and your wives! We'll save our village and our lives! We'll kill the Beast!” (Lightning strikes and rain starts falling!) Noah: “I knew it! I knew it was foolish to get our hopes up!” Trent: “Maybe it would have been better if she had never come at all!” (The footstool seal barks.) Trent: “Could it be?” LaShawna: “Is it she?” Trent: “Sacre Bleu! Invaders!” Noah: “Encroachers!” LaShawna: “And they have the mirror!” Gwen: “Warn the Master!” Noah: “If it's a fight they want, we'll be ready for them! Who's with me?!”

Alejandro: “Take whatever booty you can find! But remember, Sasquatchankwa is mine!” Enchanted Objects: “Hearts ablaze, banners high, we go marching into battle. Unafraid, although the danger just increased!” Alejandro and the Angry Mob: “Raise the flag, sing the song; here we come, we're fifteen strong! And fifteen Frenchmen can't be wrong! Let's kill the Beast!” (SLAM!!!!) LaShawna: “Pardon me, Master.” Sasquatchankwa: “Leave me in peace.” LaShawna: “But sir! The castle is under attack!” The Angry Mob: “Kill the Beast! Kill the Beast!” Trent: “This isn't working!” Gwen: “Oh Trent, we must do something!” Trent: “Wait, I know!” The Angry Mob: “Kill the Beast! Kill the Beast!” LaShawna: “What shall we do, master?” Sasquatchankwa: “It doesn't matter now, just let them come.” Alejandro and the Angry Mob: “Kill the Beast! Kill the Beast! Kill the Beast!” / And the song ends when the doors suddenly open up by themselves, and the Angry Mob sees NO resistance standing in front of them! (Confessional) Alejandro says: “I don’t know what kind of strategy this Sasquatchankwa thing has…IF, he has ANY! But if he does have a strategy, I’m going to be ready for it! I know I could kill him instantly with a shotgun, but where would the fun in that be? I want to hunt him down, man to man, and settle this with a much more MASCULINE weapon, like a bow or arrow, or a club, or a knife! Any way you slice it, it doesn’t matter HOW I kill him, just so long as I KILL him!” (End Confessional) /

Act Five, Scene Two: Battle for the Castle!                 Alejandro and the Angry Mob are in the Castle. Although they see a bunch of objects scattered around, they are not immediately concerned. But when Scott touches Trent, the candelabra yells: “ATTACK!!!!” And the Enchanted Objects spring forth and start attacking the Angry Mob in ANY way they can! (Confessional) Alejandro says: “I could probably clear out this riff-raff in a matter of minutes, but these trivial things do not interest me. I came here for only ONE job, to KILL Sasquatchankwa! I’ll clear out the REST of the trash, LATER!” (End Confessional) Alejandro says: “I’ll deal with YOU later!” And Alejandro sneaks THROUGH the battle to FIND Sasquatchankwa! / Meanwhile, Cameron has gotten Chris Maclean’s axe chopping machine all prepped! Cameron says: “It’s a good thing I read all those library books about mechanics! Let’s hope that reading has paid off! Here goes NOTHING!” And Cameron gets the Axe-Chopping Machine started, and rolls it towards the locked cellar. Chris asks: “Is THAT what I THINK it is?!” Cameron yells: “MOVE! I don’t have any BREAKS on this THING!!!!” Chris nervously yells: “Out of the WAY!” The Axe Chopping Machine chops AWAY the cellar door, then rolls DOWN into the cellar, making a small explosion in the process. Cameron coughs and says: “THAT…was one WILD ride! Can you take me back to the Castle, now?” (Confessional) Cameron says: “I know that wasn’t the SAFEST way to rescue Bridgette and Chris, but Bridgette needs to get back to the castle FAST!!!! The Enchanted Rose has already LOST 70% of its petals! It is on its LAST legs! And if we don’t get there soon enough, Bridgette will be a day LATE and a Franc short!” / Bridgette says: “I’ve seen that Sasquatchankwa is a good fighter. He MUST be to fight off an entire WOLF pack! I just hope he’s prepared for any kind of dirty tricks that Alejandro might have in mind.” / Chris says: “It’s nice to see that my machine had a practical use AFTER all, besides chopping firewood. But I’m MAD at Alejandro! I’m riding with Bridgette to FIND Alejandro, and I plan on giving HIM a piece of my mind! But not too BIG a piece, I plan on USING most of MY mind!” (End Confessional)

Back at the Castle, the Enchanted Objects continue their relentless defense of the castle. Although the Angry Mob is resilient, they are no match for LaShawna’s scalding HOT tea attack, or Jasmine’s CRUSHING Wardrobe slam! / Meanwhile, Alejandro is searching for Alejandro, but not turning up ANYTHING so far! (Confessional) Alejandro says: “There sure is a lot of ground to cover in this castle! But Sasquatchankwa can’t hide forever! I ALWAYS get MY quarry!” (End Confessional) / Jasmine uses her drawers to attack MORE of the Angry Mob, and CAPTURES a distasteful man INSIDE of herself! Jasmine says: “I think YOU need a MAKEOVER!” And Don comes out, SHOCKED to find himself looking like a Japanese Geisha! / Meanwhile, Noah uses a SHARP pair of scissors, to POKE Scott in the butt, as Scott is THREATENING Trent! The scissors REALLY hurt, as Scott screams: “YOWCH!!!!” (Confessional) Scott says: “Note to self, being a part of an Angry Mob, can be REALLY painful!” / Noah says: “As of right now, Trent now officially OWES me!” / Trent sighs and says: “Noah is NEVER going to let ME hear the end of THAT one!” (End Confessional) Bridgette, Chris, and Cameron are GALLOPING on Ace, making their way BACK to Sasquatchankwa’s castle as FAST as they can! (Confessional) Bridgette says: “Oh, I HOPE I’m NOT too LATE!” / Cameron says: “I sure hope Bridgette is NOT too LATE!” (End Confessional) Jacques is attacking Gwen, and Gwen says: “Those are MY feathers! They DON’T grow BACK, you JERK!” Trent says: “UNHAND her at ONCE!!!!” And Trent BURNS Jacques with his prop candles! Gwen sighs and says: “Thank you for that!” Trent asks: “Can I treat you to a dinner once this battle is over?” Gwen happily says: “Anything for MY hero!” (Confessional) Gwen says: “I always KNEW Trent would prove to be my knight in shining armor! It’s SO nice to see that I’m right!” / Trent says: “It’s nice to know that at least SOMEBODY has found the love of their life in the castle. If Bridgette comes back, we’ll all be golden! Whatever ‘golden’ means, I am not sure, but we’ll all be GOLDEN!” (End Confessional) Scott and the rest of the Angry Mob are chasing after the Footstool Seal, as it has STOLEN one of Scott’s shoes! The Footstool seal ducks into a seemingly dead-end room, and the Angry Mob moves in for the KILL! But Chef Hatchet and a bunch of SHARP knives and FORKS are waiting for them! Chef Hatchet scarily shouts: “SCRAM!!!!” And that is enough to FRIGHTEN the Angry Mob AWAY from the castle, as they run off in the RAIN, not caring about how wet and rainy it is, but just WANTING to get away from the castle as fast as they can! The Enchanted Objects cheer, having WON their very important battle! Noah says: “And don’t let us EVER see YOU around here EVER again!” Trent says: “My HERO!” Noah seriously says: “DON’T get CLINGY!” (Confessional) Noah says: “If there’s one thing that I know for SURE, is that guys DEFINITELY, do NOT hug in the 18^th Century! That’s really NOT something I want to be seen DOING, or being DONE to me!” / Trent says: “I was trying to show Noah some appreciation! Seriously, some guys don’t know how to take thanks when they get it!” (End Confessional)

Act Five, Scene Three: The Showdown!         Alejandro walks into the West Wing and SPOTS Sasquatchankwa! Alejandro says: “At long last, I’ve FOUND you!” But all Sasquatchankwa can do is STARE at the Enchanted Rose, which has now lost 75% of its petals. Alejandro asks: “Are you going to surrender quietly, or are you going to STRUGGLE like a HELPLESS creature?!” But all Sasquatchankwa can do is sigh in sadness. Alejandro says: “Very well, I’ll decide FOR you!” And Alejandro SHOOTS an arrow RIGHT into Sasquatchankwa’s back! (Confessional)

Sasquatchankwa asks: “Is it really TOO much to want to be left ALONE?! It’s getting so that NOBODY respects privacy ANYMORE!” / Alejandro says: “This is all…rather anticlimactic. I was REALLY hoping he would at LEAST try to escape! No matter, this just makes it EASIER for me when they REALIZE that they are DOOMED!!!!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchankwa roars out in pain, and Alejandro UPPERCUTS Sasquatchankwa RIGHT through a glass window! Alejandro FEIGNS guilt and says: “OOPS! I sure hope THAT was INSURED!!!!” (Confessional) Sasquatchankwa asks: “Seriously?! Who in their right mind would INSURE the castle of an APE creature?!” / Alejandro GLADLY says: “I’m not going to kill this inferior creature right away, I want him to SUFFER first! It makes it feel SO much more SATISFYING to watch my quarry SQUIRM and BEG for mercy, only for ME to not GIVE any! I just LOVE being NASTY!!!!” (End Confessional) Alejandro than KICKS Sasquatchankwa onto a lower ROOF of the castle, and Alejandro jumps after him. Alejandro NOTICES that Sasquatchankwa is laying on a narrow ledge, on the precipice of the roof! Alejandro shouts: “Come on! Put up your dukes! (KICKS!!!!) Put up your dukes! Is THIS the end you TRULY want?! To die a MISERABLE death, all because you’re too compassionate to even DEFEND yourself?!” (Confessional) Sasquatchankwa asks: “What’s the point in the struggle? I have nothing left for me ANYWAYS!” / Alejandro groans, and angrily asks: “How DARE this creature?! Bad enough that Bridgette LIKES him, but he won’t even give me the satisfaction of actually BEATING him in combat?! No matter! There’s nobody else around, so no one will EVER know the difference! I’ll just make UP a story about my struggle with Sasquatchankwa! I’ve already got LOADS of potential possible scenarios PLANNED in my MIND!” (End Confessional)

Sasquatchankwa merely groans in pity and self-defeat. Aleajandro says: “So BE it! I’ll take care of you NOW, instead of LATER!” And Alejandro BREAKS off a spiky portion of the roof, and slowly moves in for the kill! At that PRECISE moment, Bridgette and Chris arrive down BELOW the castle! Bridgette yells: “STOP!!!!” Sasquatchankwa gasps and says: “It’s Bridgette!” Bridgette yells: “Alejandro, don’t DO it!” But just as Alejandro TRIES to swing his make-shift club to knock Sasquatchankwa out, Sasquatchankwa GRABS the club in his hands, not only MATCHING Alejandro’s strength, but SURPASSING it, SHOCKING even Alejandro! (Confessional) Sasquatchankwa gasps and says: “So THAT’S why this assassin has come for me; because of Bridgette! Well, you can try to MAIM me, you can try to DESTROY my property! But when you try to hurt one HAIR on the head that is BRIDGETTE; that is when I get really MAD!!!! And I’m NOT going to let this creep get away with pushing HER around ANYMORE!!!!” / Alejandro gasps and says: “Impossible! There is no mere mortal on Earth that is stronger than ME!!!! He HAS to be some sort of terrible DEMON that I’m fighting! It’s the ONLY explanation!” / Bridgette says: “It looks like I got here in the nick of time! I just hope Sasquatchankwa goes EASY on Alejandro! Because I want to be the one who PERSONALLY puts Alejandro behind BARS for what he tried to do to MY father!” (End Confessional) Bridgette says: “Ace, do the pleasures!” And Ace KICKS the doors of the castle in, so that Bridgette can get in! Meanwhile, Alejandro and Sasquatchankwa really GO for it against each other, both of them knowing that this is ONE battle neither of them can REALLY afford to lose! Bridgette hurries up the stairs as fast as she can, as Alejandro and Sasquatchankwa find themselves in a row of black raven statues! Alejandro swings his club, only to knock the HEAD off of one of the statues! Alejandro shouts: “Show your FACE, if you’re not a COWARD!!!!”

(Confessional) Alejandro says: “I have NEVER run from a fight before in my life, and I’m not ABOUT to start NOW! If Sasquatchankwa thinks he can actually defeat me, he’s got another thing coming! I’m GOING to win! I HAVE to win! I AM the good guy!” / Sasquatchankwa says: “That’s right, just act like the smug, arrogant jerk that you are and let your guard down. That will get you far; in a parallel land where being a smug, arrogant jerk ACTUALLY gets you what you WANT!” (End Confessional) The lightning strikes and Alejandro asks: “Did you actually CARE for Bridgette, DEMON?! Do you ACTUALLY think she’d love YOU?! When I was ALREADY the ONLY GUY in HER LIFE?!!!!” Saquatchankwa says: “As a matter of fact, YES!!!!” Alejandro swings, but MISSES! Sasquatchankwa bites DOWN on the club, but Alejandro SWINGS him off! Alejandro says: “Give it UP, Sasquatchankwa! I’ve WON!!!!” Sasquatchankwa angrily says: “The name is GEOFF!!!!” And this startles Alejandro so much, he DROPS his club, and Sasquatchankwa GRABS Alejandro by the neck, and DANGLES Alejandro over the EDGE of the castle (the back of the stage) and Alejandro nervously pleads: “Don’t do this! PLEASE don’t do this! I didn’t mean it! Let me go, and I can give you whatever you want! I’ll GIVE you whatever YOU want!” And the biggest bolt of LIGHTNING strikes in the air! And Sasquatchankwa is angrily holding Alejandro by the neck, but then, Sasquatchankwa gasps in realization! (Confessional) Sasquatchankwa says: “It would have been very easy for me, to drop Alejandro off the cliff. But in that moment, I saw a glimpse of the monster I USED to be, INSIDE of Alejandro. If I kill this man now, I’ll be no better than he is. I’ll give him the one thing he’s probably NEVER gotten in his life; I’m going to give him MERCY, which is more than he deserves! His pride has been shattered, that’s more than enough of a punishment for HIM! I’ll be the better man, and take the moral high road in this situation.” (End Confessional) Sasquatchankwa takes Alejandro back over the safety of the roof, and merely whispers: “Run away, sir. Run, run away, and NEVER return!” And Sasquatchankwa TOSSES Alejandro to the side! Bridgette appears on the balcony and says: “You’re safe!” Sasquatchankwa says: “You’re here!” And Sasquatchankwa climbs up toward Bridgette, completely FORGETTING about Alejandro! Sasquatchankwa reaches for Bridgette, and their hands touch. Sasquatchankwa happily says: “You returned!” And they are smiling together, until the two of them both hear the sound of a SICKENING… (SLICE!!!!) And Alejandro has STABBED Sasqautchankwa in the back! (Confessional) Alejandro says: “Let’s just say I’m willing to do ANYTHING to WIN! And I DO mean anything! Even if that means momentarily showing a sign of ‘weakness’ to my enemy! Now all I have to do is FINISH him OFF!” / Bridgette angrily says: “How DARE he?! Well, there’s a special place in PURGATORY reserved for people like Alejandro!” (End Confessional)

Alejandro prepares to STAB Sasquathcankwa again, but Alejandro SLIPS and loses his balance, all because of the rain, and he FALLS several stories, down to his HORRIBLE end! /

Act Five, Scene Four: The Reveal.      Bridgette pulls Sasquatchankwa back onto the balcony, but the fight has hurt MORE than just Sasquatchankwa, it accelerated the Rose’s already precarious position, as it’s down to its LAST four petals! Sasquatchankwa coughs, and groaning, says: “You returned.” Bridgette says: “I HAD to return! There was no way…if only I could’ve gotten here just a little sooner!” Sasquatchankwa sighs and says: “You don’t need to worry about me. It’s just enough to have you here, right now, by my side.”

Bridgette says: “You have MORE than that! I can patch you up! I’ll fix you up and you’ll be back to normal again! Just like before!” Sasquatchankwa weakly says: “I’ll always remember you. No matter where I go, or where I end up, I’ll always be thankful…for the time…we had…together.” And Sasquatchankwa collapses unconscious! Bridgette gasps and says: “You can’t be gone! You just CAN’T be! I only just got back! And I…I love you!” And no sooner does Bridgette say this, than do the last three petals fall off the rose, seemingly ending the magic. But instead, a BUNCH of magic flows THROUGH the air, as the rain turns into bright LIGHT, FLASHING through the sky! And Bridgette backs away, as Sasquatchankwa begins…CHANGING; RIGHT before her eyes! His ape hands turn into HUMAN hands, his ape feet turn into HUMAN feet! But what is MOST amazing, is that his ape body and ape face, turn into a HUMAN Body and a HUMAN Face! The lights stop flashing, and the newly humanized Sasquatchankwa turns around, and REVEALS himself to Bridgette! Geoff says: “You did it! I’m back!” Bridgette says: “I’ve SEEN you somewhere before! A long time ago, like a distant memory.” Than when she SEES Geoff’s eyes, she REMEMBERS! Bridgette says: “You were the PRINCE in the painting!” Geoff says: “I’m sorry we couldn’t tell you before. It was part of the condition of the spell I was under. The only way to break the spell, was if someone fell in love for what was INSIDE of me, not what I was, before the transformation. And I’m sorry that I didn’t get to properly introduce myself before. I’m Prince Geoff Adam, and I love you to. Maybe someday, I can give you a real LIFE adventure, like the ones you always read about.” Bridgette happily says: “You already HAVE, Geoff, and WE both won!” And they romantically kiss each other, and the spell breaks all over the castle. The dark, Gothic exterior, changes into a more serene, peaceful, Neo-Roman inspired exterior. And the Enchanted objects begin to SHED their enchanted appearance, returning to human! Geoff says: “Trent! Noah! LaShawna! Jasmine! Gwen! We’re all back!” Cameron says: “LaShawna, it’s HAPPENING!” And both Cameron and the footstool seal revert back to normal! LaShawna says: “It truly HAS happened!” Trent says: “It’s SO romantic!!!!” /

Epilogue:         A few weeks have passed, and Prince Geoff and the newly married Princess Bridgette, are dressed in their regal best again, hosting a gala dance event, to celebrate the beginning of a new era, and a new life together. Trent says: “So, as the old saying goes, ‘Love conquers all’.” Gwen says: “You’ve got THAT right, Trent!” Trent says: “I’ve been waiting ten YEARS to hug YOU again! Now, I finally can!” Noah says: “Well, there’s no time like the present to patch things up. I’m big enough of a man to admit that you WERE right all along! Bridgette WAS the one!” Trent says: “Honestly, it was just a lucky GUESS! I never expected for things to unfold like that!” Noah says: “That’s NOT what you were saying a few weeks ago! You absolutely KNEW that there was no one else BESIDES Bridgette! RIGHT?!” Trent seriously says: “This conversation is over.” And he leaves to dance with Gwen. Noah sighs and says: “And yet again, I have no one to call my own.” A new girl giggles and says: “Not necessarily.” And Noah GASPS in admiration. The cute, Chinese girl says: “My name is Emma!” Noah says: “Than again, love DOES spring eternal!” Cameron says: “So I guess they get to live happily ever after. Right, LaShawna?” LaShawna says: “That’s the plan, Cameron. That’s the plan.” Cameron asks: “I’m not going to have to sleep in the kitchen, anymore, am I?” Chris chuckles and says: “Oh, Cameron!” /

The chorus sings: “Certain as the sun, rising in the east. Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the Beast. Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the Beast! Oh, OH!!!!”

The End!

End Credits song: Mariah Carey and Justin Timberlake perform a rendition of “Beauty and the Beast.” / Mariah Carey: “Ooh! Tale as old as time. True as it can be. Barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly!” Justin Timberlake: “Just a little change. Small, to say the least, both a little scared, neither one prepared.” Both: “Beauty and the Beast. Ever just the same, ever a surprise. Ever as before!” Mariah: “Ever just as sure!” Both: “As the sun will rise!” Justin: “Oh, oh, OH! OH!!!!” (Instrumental solo) Mariah: “Oh, OH!!!!” Both: “Ever just the same!” Justin: “Ever a surprise!” Both: “Ever as before!” Mariah: “Ever just as sure!” Both: “As the sun will rise!” Justin: “Oh! OH!!!!” Mariah: “Tale as old as time. Tune as old as song.” Both: “Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change, learning you were wrong.” Justin: “Certain as the sun.” Mariah: “Certain as the sun.” Justin: “Rising in the east!” Mariah: “Tale as old as time.” Justin: “Song as old as rhyme.” Both: “Beauty and the Beast.” Mariah: “Tale as old as time.” Justin: “Song as old as rhyme.” Both: “Beauty and the Beast!” Justin: “Woah! WOAH!!!!” (Instrumental finish) Mariah: “OOH!!!!” Both: “Beauty and the Beast.” /

I'd just like to say thank you on behalf of this website, and HOPE that I PASSED the audition!  Enough said, true believers!

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Lounge Lizard

It was a bright and clear afternoon in Coastal Falls, and on the soccer field of Coastal Falls Academy, the Rangers (more specifically Toby, Lettuce, Pinkie, Usagi, and Blackhawk) were practicing, while Ebony, D.O.G., and new pal Woolbur watching them as they played a quick game against Bash, Naruto, and Smash. "You know," Woolbur observed. "Five against three is pretty unfair."

"That's true." replied D.O.G. "But it'd be pretty difficult to create equal teams even if we joined in playing."

"Good point." replied Ebony, who pulled out a box of Every Flavor Beans and began to snack on them.

"Every flavor?" Woolbur asked. "What do they mean by that?"

"...Every flavor." Ebony replied, her tone deadpan. "Wanna try some?" Woolbur nodded, and she gave him a small handful of jelly beans. After a bit of chewing, Woolibur spat the multicolored lump of candy matter out. D.O.G. was all too happy to finish it off, ravenously devouring it.

"What kinds of flavors were those?!" Woolbur protested.

"Just the usual." Ebony replied. "Some grass, earwax, a bit of pepper..."

"That was delicious!" D.O.G. replied, panring. "Do you have any more?"

"Lots. I always carry an extra box or two, since I don't like to share my candy." Ebony said, pulling out an extra box and throwing them to D.O.G., who caught it with his paws and somehow opened it. Their conversation, however, was interrupted by a yell from Lettuce:

"HOLY CRAP, I'M LATE!" Lettuce said, running off of the field, much to the confusion of the others.

"What was that all about?" asked Naruto.

"Maybe he has somewhere important to be." Pinkie said.

"Yeah." said Usagi. "I wouldn't worry about it. He'll probably come back soon."

"Wanna head to the Juice Bar?" Blackhawk suggested.

"I'm game." said Bash.

"Us too." Smash and Toby said.

Meanwhile on the Diabolic, Emperor Diabolica, Queen Hedrian, Drako, Circe, Kraky, Baphomet, Vipera, and Amazoness were gathered on the ship's bridge awaiting a new addition, or rather five new additions, to their crew. Hedrian had requested an appearance with an old friend of hers: Fuhrer Hell Saturn of the Black Magma Empire. When he had appeared, she requested five of his most loyal warriors, ones that she knew personally. He had granted her request, on the condition that they be treated well, lest there be consequences. A small black ship, sleek and thin, with the Empire's logo on its hull, soon arrived, and out stepped four women, all identical except for the jumpsuits they wore and the weapons they carried. One wore red and carried throwing knives, the second wore black and wielded what appeared to be playing cards, the third wore green and wielded a double sword, and the fourth wore purple and wielded...yo-yos. "Ladies, introduce yourselves, will you?" Hedrian asked. The women nodded, and introduced themselves in order.

"ZERO GIRL 01! HEIL FUHRER SATURN!"

"ZERO GIRL 02! HEIL FUHRER SATURN!"

"ZERO GIRL 03! HEIL FUHRER SATURN!"

"ZERO GIRL 04! HEIL FUHRER SATURN!"

Once that was done, they said in unison, "BLACK MAGMA ABOVE ALL ELSE!"

"Impressive." observed Vipera. "If I may, Queen Hedrian, I wish to take these girls under my command." Hedrian nodded, and the Zero Girls gathered around Vipera. As they did, one last figure stepped out of the ship, one that both Hedrian and Amazoness recognied right away. Dressed in an ornate, mostly-grey suit of armor with a small bird-like crest on the upper torso, the figure's most distinguishing feature was the star-shaped helmet covering almost his entire face aside from his mouth.

"Lightning Galaxy..." Amazomess muttered.

"At your service." he said, forcibly kissing her hand before Amazoness slapped him. "...How nice to see you again, Amazoness." he snarked. Turning to Hedrian, he also kissed her hand, but was not slapped. "And hello to you, Hedrian. I understand that you have recruited us for an important mission?"

"Yes," Hedrian said. "the five of you are here for a very important reason: on the planet of Core Earth, there's a group of Power Rangers!"

"Hm." said Lightning Galaxy. "I've had experience with Power Rangers before."

"Queen Hedrian, may I speak with you for a moment?" Amazoness asked. Nodding, the two went to another room so that they could talk without interruption. "...You have no idea what you're doing by bringing Galaxy Lightning here, my queen. He's notoriously traitorous; we're both wanted by Space Patrol Delta for various crimes."

"I don't care." said Hedrian. "I want those Power Rangers destroyed, and if I have to use an outlaw to do it, then I will!"

With a sigh, Amazoness shook her head. "Don't say I didn't warn you. When you're faced with a loaded pistol in your back, you'll wish you'd remembered what I said." And so, she left to join the others in planning for their latest scheme.

At the Juice Bar, the Rangers plus Woolbur and D.O.G. were sitting and relaxing after their soccer match with Bash and Smash, who were talking about who-knows-what. "Wonder why Lettuce isn't here yet? Whatever's taking up his time couldn't have been that important." Toby said.

"IF I MAY INTERJECT," said Papyrus. "HE CAME BY EARLIER."

"He did?" everyone asked, interested.

"YES. HE WAS WEARING A TUXEDO. WHEN I ASKED WHAT IT WAS FOR, HE JUST TOLD ME, 'IT'S FOR MY JOB'. AND THEN I ASKED ABOUT HIS JOB. HE TOLD ME, AND THEN ASKED ME TO PROMISE NOT TO TELL."

"...Huh." said Naruto. "Whatever it is, that job must be fancy. But why does he not want anyone to know, especially us? We're his friends."

"I'M NOT SURE. EVEN IF I WANTED TO TELL YOU, I COULDN'T. I ALWAYS KEEP MY WORD."

"Come on, Papyrus. Please?" begged Usagi.

"ALL RIGHT, JUST SO YOUR QUESTIONS DON'T GET ANNOYING. LETTUCE IS A..." Papyrus lowered his voice. "...LOUNGE SINGER."

"Honestly, I'm not surprised." Blackhawk said. "He comes from a rich family. They can afford to give him a sweet gig like that."

"Ooh, I have an idea!" said Pinkie. "What if we had dinner at his dad's restaurant so we can show that we support him?"

"How do you know he'll be performing at his dad's restaurant?" Ebony asked.

"Duh! It's so obvious!" Pinkie retorted.

"...Fair point." Ebony said.

Back on the Diabolic, Queen Hedrian observed the entire conversation. "I've got it!" she said, a lightbulb going off in her head.

"Hmmm?" Diabolica asked. "Got what?"

"An idea to destroy the Power Rangers, of course!" Hedrian snapped.

"Go on..." Diabolica said, interested.

"So, the Rangers are going to have a fancy dinner to support their friend's performance. Well, I'LL GIVE THEM A PERFORMANCE THEY'LL NEVER FORGET!" Moving over to the hatchery, Hedrian proceeded to hatch another one of her eggs, this time revealing a velociraptor/iguana hybrid wearing a torn and ratty Elvis suit. On his head was a grease-and-gel slicked mop of a black pompadour. The creature's eyes were yellow and wild, conveying a sense of lunacy. "Introducing...the Lounge Lizard!" Hedrian announced.

"...What does he do?" Diabolica asked, unimpressed.

"He's able to unleash a sonic blast from his mouth!" Hedrian explained proudly.

"...I tried that once." Diabolica said, still unimpressed.

"And failed!" Kraky said, before being zapped by Diabolica.

"If I may," interrupted Vipera. "I would like to take the Zero Girls on their first mission under my command. We will deploy the Lounge Lizard at the Rangers' location."

"Permission granted." Hedrian said. "See to it that you succeed."

"Understood." said Vipera, donning her Viola disguise before teleporting away with the Zero Girls.

That night, the Rangers and Woolbur arrived at the Chez Manchot, a rather medium-sized building, painted white and ornately furnished. The gentlemen were dressed in tuxes color-coded to their Ranger uniforms, and the ladies wore similar dresses. "You know," said Ebony. "I usually don't dress this fancy...except that one time I went to the Yule Ball at Hogwarts by myself."

"I don't dress this fancy, except for the times I've been to Canterlot." said Pinkie. "Hey, Blackhawk? How'd you manage to get reservations for this place?"

"I know a guy who knows Lettuce's dad. I just told him that I knew Jacques' son." explained Blackhawk as they entered. At the front desk was Sans, dressed in a rather nice tuxedo. "Hey, Sans."

"'ey." said Sans, perpetual grin on his face. "glad you could make it."

"You mean Sans is the guy you knew?" Toby asked.

"Yep." Blackhawk said.

"How do you know Lettuce's dad, Sans?" Usagi asked.

"remember my previous jobs? i have connections from those."

"Oh." Usagi replied. "That makes sense, I guess..." Blackhawk walked the group to their table, where they could get a good view of Lettuce, who was performing a song by Dean Martin:

"How lucky can one guy be?

I kissed her and she kissed me

Like the fella' once said

Ain't that a kick in the head?

The room was completely black

I hugged her and she hugged back

Like the sailor said, quote,

Ain't that a hole in the boat?

My head keeps spinning

I go to sleep and keep grinning

If this is just the beginning,

My life is gonna' be beautiful

I've sunshine enough to spread

It's just like the fella' said

Tell me quick, ain't love a kick in the head?

Like the fella' once said

Ain't that a kick in the head?

Like the sailor said, quote,

Ain't that a hole in the boat?

My head keeps spinning

I go to sleep and keep grinning

If this is just the beginning,

My life is gonna' be beautiful

She's telling me we'll be wed

She's picked out a king-size bed

I couldn't feel any better or I'd be sick

Tell me quick, oh ain't love a kick?

Tell me quick, ain't love a kick in the head!"

Cheers erupted from the crowd, Lettuce noticing his friends in the sea of applause. Taking the microphone briefly, he announced, "I'll be taking a quick break, folks. Feel free to send any requests my way." Hopping off the stage, the penguin walked over to the table where his friends were. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We wanted to come and support you." Naruto said.

"Yeah." said Pinkie.

"You're a really great singer." Toby said.

"I never knew you could sing big band stuff." Blackhawk said.

"You mean, you're not embarrassed that I do this?" Lettuce asked.

"Of course not. We're your friends, Lettuce. We'd support anything you'd do, especially for your family." Usagi replied.

"Thanks, guys." Lettuce said, joining them in a group hug. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Vipera and the Zero Girls sitting a few tables away. "Looks like we've got trouble." he whispered. 

"What do you mean?" Toby asked.

"...Vipera's here." Pinkie said, without turning her head.

"Are you sure?" Naruto asked.

"Pinkie Sense." the mare elaborated.

"Right." said Naruto, who turned to Blackhawk and Woolbur. "Both of you, get Sans and everyone else to safety." It took a while for the resturant to evacuate, but once it was, Vipera rose from her seat, shedding her Viola disguise. The Zero Girls did the same. "Hm." the ninja observed. "I see you brought along a little posse."

Vipera let off a curt snort. "Oh, these are more than just a posse, Red Ranger. These fine ladies are highly trained spies and assassins of the Black Magma Empire, sent by Fuhrer Hell Saturn himself to aid Queen Hedrian. She has given command of them to me, and we are here on her behalf."

"Just what are you planning?" Naruto asked, readying his Power Watch to morph. The others were doing the same.

"That would be telling, wouldn't it?" Vipera taunted, then turned to Zero Girl 01. "Take care of the Rangers while I set the plan in motion." she ordered.

"Yes, überlegen." 01 replied, nodding in affirmation. In a purple burst of flame, Vipera disappeared and the Zero Girls drew their weapons, prepared for battle. 01 crossed her throwing knives, 02 wielded her playing cards like small fans, 03 posed with her double sword, and 04 twirled her yo-yos. "HEIL FUHRER SATURN!" 01 began.

"BLACK MAGMA ABOVE ALL ELSE!" the other Zero Girls finished.

"Ladies and gentleman, Hitler's Angels." Toby deadpanned.

"WE ARE THE ZERO GIRLS!" 01 announced, angrily snarling at Toby. "THE GREATEST ASSASSINS AND SPIES OF THE BLACK MAGMA EMPIRE! YOU DARE MOCK US?!"

"Yeah, I dare." Toby said. "What are you gonna do about it?" He immediately got his answer when 01 attempted to stab him. Blocking the attack, Toby looked at the other Rangers. "All right guys. IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!"

"VELOCIRAPTOR!"

"ANKYLOSAURUS!"

"STEGOSAURUS!"

"TRICERATOPS!"

"HADROSAURUS!"

"TYRANNOSAURUS!"

"POWER RANGERS!"

At the sight of the Rangers' transformation, 01 smirked. Summoning a group of Imp Dusters, the Zero Girls split up, and surrounded Naruto, Ebony, Lettuce, and Pinkie. This left Usagi and Toby to deal with the cannon fodder...and frankly, they were outnumbered 2 to 6. "Aw, crap." Toby muttered. "We're screwed, aren't we?"

"Normally, yeah." Usagi said. "But we have our Power Weapons, remember?"

"Forgot about that for a sec." Toby replied sheepishly. "WATER AX!"

"WIND STAFF!" Once their Power Weapons were summoned, Usagi and Toby pressed their backs against each other and waited as the Imp Dusters slowly encroached onto them. Once they had an opportunity to strike, they swung their weapons, the elements of wind and water combining to form a minature typhoon, sweeping the foot soldiers away. Meanwhile, the other four Rangers were having to deal with the Zero Girls. 01 threw her knives at Naruto, who caught them with ease.

"You think I'm impressed with your magic tricks, lady?" Naruto asked. "I've seen things no guy my age should see."

"Oh, please." 01 replied with a laugh. "You are no assassin with years of experience, child." Throwing another knife, 01 was caught off-guard when Naruto tossed a shuriken, knocking the knife out of the air.

"I'm more than an assassin." Naruto said. "I'm the future Hokage. SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!" With those three words, several more Narutos appeared, and honed in on 01. Panicking, the woman summoned more throwing knives and threw them in the hopes that they would strike the clones down. Unfortunately for her, the clones caught the knives and threw them back at 01 giving her thin cuts across her body. With trickles of blood streaming down her jumpsuit, 01 teleported away to seek immediate medical attention.

02 and Ebony drew their weapons, the former with her playing cards, the latter with her wand. "Hm." snorted 02. "What's this? A stick? You make me laugh. These are real weapons." In a flash, the playing cards flew towards Ebomy, their razor-sharp metal edges going straight for her flesh. Thinking quickly, Ebomy let let out a shout of 'CONFRINGO!', and a burst of flame-like magic erupted from her wand, consuming the oncoming playing cards in an explosion, knocking back 02. Flabbergasted, the woman stared at Ebony, her jaw dropping. "B-but how?" she asked. Ebony smirked triumphantly.

"Lady, I'm not impressed with your parlor tricks. You're dealing with Ebony Way, ex-Hogwarts student, formerly of Slytherin House, and bonafide witch." She still had her wand pointed at 02. "We can do this the hard way, or we can do this the easy way. Your choice." Silence from 02. "Awww...I thought we could do this the hard way. Oh, well." And so, Ebony cast Apparate on 02, teleporting her back to the Diabolic.

03 and Lettuce squared off, with her slashing her double swords, and him frantically trying to dodge. "Face it, Ranger." 03 taunted, combining her swords into one larger weapon and preparing to throw it at Lettuce in order to execute him. "This is the end for you. Sad, honestly. I thought you'd be made of tougher stuff."

"Oh, I certainly am." Lettuce retorted. "EARTH MACE!" As 03 threw her sword, Lettuce swung the Earth Mace and let go. The weapon flew at the sword, and once it struck, split it in two once more. Running over to grab it, Lettuce stared down 03 as she herself picked up her double swords. Almost immediately, they began dueling, showers of sparks and small explosions obscuring them. With a final yell, Lettuce struck 03, knocking her out. Once the dust cleared, only Lettuce remained, Earth Mace in hand.

Lastly, there was 04 and Pinkie. The woman was armed with her yo-yos, and the latter with her Diamond Boomerang. "Ooh, yo-yos!" Pinkie shouted excitedly. "Are we playing a game?"

"..." 04 paused for a moment, then upturned her mouth into a sadistic grin. "Sure." Instantly, she swung her yo-yos at Pinkie, small metal blades jutting out of the centers. Pinkie tossed her boomerang, which twisted itself into the strings. "NO!" 04 shouted in anger, snarling at Pinkie. The mare, getting an idea, grabbed the yo-yos themselves with her hooves, and lifted 04 into the air. Slowly spinning around and gradually getting faster until she was nothing but a pink tornado, Pinkie tossed 04 at a wall, result in an instant KO and the latter automatically teleporting back to the Diabolic.

Once the Zero Girls were defeated, Vipera appeared with the Lounge Lizard. "So, you may have defeated my Zero Girls, but are you prepared for your next challenge?" The Lizard promptly let out a high-pitched screech, knocking the Rangers back. "Hm. I guess not. Ta-ta, Rangers." And with that, Vipera disappeared.

Naruto suddenly had an idea. "Guys, remember when we faced the Karaoke Knight? This is the same deal."

"Right!" said Toby. "We just need to form the Super Power Blaster Cannon."

"...No idea what your talking about, but I like it!" Ebony interjected.

"We faced a monster like this before you joined." Lettuce explained. "He used sonic waves in his attacks too."

"Hm. Sounds easy." Ebony replied.

"Exactly." Usagi replied.

"SUMMON POWER WEAPONS! FIRE BLADE!"

"SHADOW DAGGERS!"

Forming the Cannon, the Rangers aimed it at the Lizard, and fired, sending it into a firey explosion. Of course, things didn't end there, as per usual. From outside, the Rangers could hear rumbling and sounds of destruction as the Lounge Lizard rampaged in Coastal Falls itself. "Well, we know what to do next, don't we?" Naruto deadpanned.

"WE NEED DINOZORD POWER NOW!" the other Rangers proclaimed, teleporting out of the restaurant and into their Zords. Once they did, they formed the Multivelocimegazord and summoned the Power Sword, striking the Lounge Lizard down.

"Well, that was anticlimactic." Lettuce said as they demorphed and teleported back to the restaurant.

Back on the Diabolic, the Zero Girls were bowing their heads in shame. "I am sorry, madame Vipera. Those Rangers bested us." 01 said.

"You should have sent me." Lightning Galaxy complained. "I would have taken the Rangers head on and not have bothered with any monsters."

"QUIET, YOU!" Hedrian and Diabolica shouted. "WE HAVE MASSIVE HEADACHES!"

Sometime later, the Rangers aside from Lettuce were enjoying their meals. The evidence of battle was cleared from the restaurant, making it seem as if it hadn't happened at all. Lettuce was up on stage, belting out the last few notes of Blue Moon by Frank Sinatra. Once he finished, Lettuce audibly cleared his throat. All eyes, including those of Sans and his father, turned to him. "You know, folks, I was kinda embarrassed to let my friends here in on the fact that I work here as a lounge singer. They found out soon, though, and now they're here to support me. Why should I be ashamed of something I love doing not only for myself, but for my family, when I know my friends won't laugh and belittle me...but understand? That's why I dedicate this next number to them. 1, 2, 3, 4!

What would you think if I sang out of tune

Would you stand up and walk out on me?

Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song

And I'll try not to sing out of key

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends

Mm I get high with a little help from my friends

Mm gonna try with a little help from my friends

What do I do when my love is away?

(Does it worry you to be alone?)

How do I feel by the end of the day?

(Are you sad because you're on your own?)

No I get by with a little help from my friends

Mm I get high with a little help from my friends

Mm gonna try with a little help from my friends

(Do you need anybody?)

I need somebody to love

(Could it be anybody?)

I want somebody to love

(Would you believe in a love at first sight?)

Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time

(What do you see when you turn out the light?)

I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends

Mm I get high with a little help from my friends

Oh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends

(Do you need anybody?)

I just need someone to love

(Could it be anybody?)

I want somebody to love

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends

Mm gonna try with a little help from my friends

Oh I get high with a little help from my friends

Yes I get by with a little help from my friends

With a little help from my friends."

[4EverGreen]

Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you’ve ALL been waiting for! It’s time for the SIZZLING showdown; that will indirectly lead to the final outcome, of this EPIC season! (This episode is dedicated to the memory of Tom Petty). / Before the episode even begins, Bulma is seen walking on the plane, and she knocks on the door leading into the cargo room. A booming voice bellows: “COME FORWARD!!!!” And Bulma nervously walks into the room, and she sees a GIANT, floating green head, over a billowing supply of FIRE! The Man says: “I AM GERO!!!! The GREAT and POWERFUL!!!! Who are YOU?! WHO ARE YOU?!!!” Bulma asks: “Why do you got to PULL this act EVERY time I talk to YOU?! You know who I am! I am Bulma Briefs! The Smart and PRETTY! I’ve come to ask--.” Dr. Gero yells: “SILENCE!!!! The Great and POWERFUL Gero, knows WHY you have come! You DARE to come to me for a Clean SLATE, do you?! You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of cacophonous JUNK?!” Bulma trembles, and she says: “Yes, your honor! You see; a while back, I eliminated Zarbon, so…” Dr. Gero yells: “SILENCE, whippersnapper! The MAGNIFICENT Gero, has every INTENTION of GRANTING your REQUEST! But FIRST, you must PROVE yourself WORTHY, by performing one more, VERY small task! BRING me the MASK of Captain Retro!” Bulma asks: “Are you CRAZY?! If I try that; Captain Retro might MAIM me before I can do THAT!!!!” Dr. Gero says: “Bring me his MASK; and I will GRANT your request! Now, GO!!!!” Bulma asks: “But what if he MAIMS me FIRST?!” Dr. Gero shouts: “I said, GO!!!!” And Bulma makes a MAD dash out of the cargo room, jumping RIGHT through the door window of the cargo room! / Sniz is in the cock-pit, and he says: “Last time on Total Cartoon Global Cruise, the Final Seven Contestants took a trip to the Galapagos Islands. There, they took some time to walk around, reminisce, and remember all of their adventures that had led them up to that point. Then the contestants participated in a reward challenge, in order to gain an advantage for the NEXT challenge! In the end, Captain Retro won the reward! Captain Retro got a seven-shooter pistol, a sturdy rope, and the best horse that money can buy! Why will Captain Retro need these things? Because Captain Retro and everyone else today, will be heading for an old-fashioned Western show-down at the OK Corral in Tombstone, Arizona, and you won’t want to miss a minute of it! SOMEONE will be eliminated when everything is said and done TODAY!!!! Find out who it will be on this action-packed episode of Total Cartoon Global Cruise! Saddle up, partners!” / Instead of the usual show open, we instead get a Western-tinted introduction, which showcases the CONTRASTING performances between Bulma Briefs and Captain Retro, as they get prepared for the upcoming showdown! /

 

Genre: Rock. Sub-genre: Bon Jovi. Song: “Wanted Dead or Alive!” Sung by: Captain Retro and Bulma! / Captain Retro: “It's all the same, only the names will change. Every day, it seems we're wasting away.” Bulma: “Another place where the faces are so cold. I'd drive all night just to get back home.” Captain Retro: “I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride!” Bulma: “I'm wanted dead or alive! Wanted, dead or alive!” Captain Retro: “Sometimes I sleep, sometimes, it's not for days. And the people I meet, always go their separate ways!” Bulma: “Sometimes you tell the day, by the bottle that you drink!” Captain Retro: “And times when you're alone, all you do is think! I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride!” Bulma: “I'm wanted dead or alive! Wanted, dead or alive!” Captain Retro: “All right!” (Musical break) Captain Retro: “I’m a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride!” Bulma: “I’m wanted, dead or alive! Wanted, dead or alive! And I walk these streets, a loaded six string on my back!” Captain Retro: “I play for keeps, because I might not make it back!” Bulma: “I've been everywhere, and still, I'm standing tall! I've seen a million faces, and I've rocked them all!” Captain Retro: “Because I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride!” Bulma: “I'm wanted dead or alive!” Captain Retro: “Because I'm a cowboy, I got the night on my side!” Bulma: “I'm wanted dead or alive!” Captain Retro: “And I ride, dead or alive! I still drive, dead or alive!” Bulma and Captain Retro: “Dead or alive! Dead or alive! Dead or alive! Dead or alive!” / And the epic song ends! / “Tonight, You’re going to Go Down in Flames, Just like Jesse James!” / It is a bright sunrise in the early morning, and the plane is in transit, heading toward the small, scenic, Tombstone, Arizona. All of the remaining contestants are getting themselves mentally and physically prepared for the upcoming challenge.

In the V.I.P. Lounge, Captain Retro sighs as he turns to Reggie Rocket. Captain Retro says: “It is finally here. The long awaited day of destiny that I have been waiting for.” Reggie asks: “Any idea on how it's going to turn out?” Captain Retro says: “You should know by now that only someone who is GOING to lose, makes their assumptions that they are GOING to win BEFORE they actually do! Besides, I've never actually BEEN able to eliminate Bulma Briefs before; I'll let you know how it goes once I actually TRY it!” Reggie asks: “Are you TRYING to be funny?!” Captain Retro says: “Only if I actually MAKE you laugh; otherwise, I try to be serious in a situation of this nature!” Reggie says: “You KNOW Bulma is going to pull out all the STOPS in trying to get YOU out!” Captain Retro says: “Undoubtedly! But regardless of what she tries to pull, I won't let that deter me from my mission. I came here to get Bulma Briefs out of the competition, and that's what I aim to do. It all boils down to this! Today, we will meet on the field of Sniz's choosing, and duel like we have NEVER dueled before!” Reggie asks: “Do you need any of us to do anything special?” Captain Retro says: “Whatever Sniz asks us to do, we do it, no questions asked. Other than that, keep yourself safe and out of Bulma's line of fire. I'll distract her and draw her line of fire! Hopefully, she doesn't try any underhanded techniques like she HAS in the past! That will make this challenge much easier!” Reggie says: “You know that with Bulma gone, everyone else is going to target you. You're not going to make the Final Five.” Captain Retro sighs and says: “I'm well aware of that is what will happen if I get rid of Bulma. Winning was never the goal. Besides, there is still that $2,777,500 payoff to look forward to if either you or Suzie win first place.” Reggie says: “No need to worry about that; we'll make sure to uphold our deal if either of us win first place.” Captain Retro says: “That's all that I ask for. You're both good girls. Don't EVER let Bulma or anybody else change that!”

 

(Confessional) Captain Retro says: “If I were Bulma Briefs, trying to eliminate MYSELF; I'd try using every single DESPERATE attempt at getting rid of me that I could THINK of! Fortunately for me, I've seen every single Chuck Jones AND Rudy Larriva Wily E. Coyote cartoon about a THOUSAND times; and I know that Wily E. Coyote NEVER gets to eat the Road Runner, no matter HOW good Wilys' schemes are on paper!” / Reggie says: “You got to give Bulma credit, she has definitely thought of a very good plan for getting herself THIS far! But it's repugnant and foul to high HEAVEN!!!! I can't wait to find out what she's doing this for; it would help me in figuring out whether eliminating her IS the right thing for me to do! If there's one thing that I'm proud of, is that I never make a judgment call about a person until I have ALL of the relevant facts at hand! And while I have a lot of them, that one crucial piece of the puzzle is missing. Once I know her motivation, my decision will be clear. I have a feeling I'll find out what it is soon enough.” (End Confessional) In normal class, Skipper has gathered Chameleon, Suzie, and Patrick together for a meeting. Skipper says: “Okay, here is how it's going to work! Just stay out of my way and let me hit Bulma as MANY times as conceivably possible!” Suzie asks: “Why should YOU get to hog all of the fun?! You're not the only contestant who has a GRUDGE against Bulma, you know!” Chameleon says: “I have a few choice actions that I want to do against Bulma myself! I mean, she DID help engineer the eliminations of Kitty and Keswick, you know!” Patrick says: “And I want to get rid of Bulma Briefs just as much as you do! Bulma eliminated Pearl, set up Stanley to take a fall, and even eliminated Spongebob HIMSELF, using YOU, Skipper!” Skipper rolls his eyes and asks: “Did you HAVE to remind me of that?!” Patrick says: “I would be LYING if I said that WASN'T on my mind!” Suzie says: “Let's face the facts. Each one of us wants to get back at Bulma Briefs for one reason or another. So why don't we all take as many shots as we want against Bulma Briefs?! If we ALL aim for her, we'll all have a better chance of getting her out once and for ALL!” Bulma walks in smiling smugly and says: “You are all wasting your precious, pathetic time in trying to get rid of ME!!!!” Skipper sarcastically says: “Well if it isn't Bulma Briefs herself, the anti-me. You've got a lot of nerve speaking to us after eliminating King Julien and Marlene! I'd ask how you LIVE with yourself, but I don't even WANT to know the answer!” Bulma says: “I live beautifully, and intelligently, in West City with my Mom and Dad!”

Skipper yells: “I just TOLD you not to tell us how you LIVE with yourself!” Bulma says: “And I ignored you, because you are completely MEANINGLESS to me!” Patrick asks: “If he's so meaningless, than how come you already TRIED to eliminate him TWICE this season?!” Bulma says: “And succeeded, if you don't MIND! If you're going to actually TRY to state a fact with that FEEBLE compared to MINE mind of yours, the LEAST you can do is be completely ACCURATE about it!” Suzie says: “Give it UP, Bulma! You're out-numbered, six to one! We're all united, and you're all alone! You've got NOTHING left to fall back on!” Bulma chuckles and she says: “I'm not as alone as you'd like to believe!” Chameleon says: “Even if that WERE true, we're STILL not going to let you win!” Bulma scoffs and she says: “Like that matters! Even if you ALL had Patrick's so-called high I.Q., you'd never stand a CHANCE against ME!!!! You will NEVER be able to eliminate ME!!!!” Captain Retro walks in, and he says: “Fortunately, they won't have to. I have taken it upon myself to eliminate you. Do you think you can beat me in a fair fight?!” Bulma chuckles, and she says: “Anything is fair when you have the brain power, money, and LOOKS that I do! I can do ANYTHING, ANYTIME, ANYWHERE that I want, I WILL get that Clean Slate, and there is NOTHING anyone can DO about it!” Captain Retro gets mad, and he says: “You know what STINKS about YOU, Bulma?! You HAVE the BRAINS, you HAVE the MONEY, you have GOOD looks, you even have FAME, and you're STILL miserable!!!!” Bulma sputters and she asks: “You THINK that you're HAPPIER than ME?!!!” Captain Retro seriously says: “Miss, Ma'am, Ms., whichever title you prefer, I KNOW that I am HAPPIER than you!” Bulma yells: “I have EVERYTHING! You have NOTHING compared to me!” Captain Retro seriously says: “I have one thing you DON'T; FRIENDS!!!! And I mean REAL friends; not the kind you rent or bribe or deceive with petty little tricks!” Bulma LITERALLY gets red in the face, and it looks like she's about to LOSE it, but she calms down, and she says: “Very well then. Just remember, all I know is that I'M going to win this competition, and you are NOT!” Patrick says: “FINE! Don't get your BLOOMERS bunched up into a KNOT!!!!” And Bulma suddenly screams: “AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

Patrick asks: “What was THAT all about?!” Captain Retro sighs and says: “Bulma's name, in Japanese, means 'Bloomers.' That's why she's so uptight!” Bulma angrily says: “YOU told them, didn't you?!” Reggie walks in, and she says: “He didn't tell us ANYTHING! I personally don't even CARE about THAT fact!” Bulma sarcastically says: “Like I would GO to all this TROUBLE for a clean SLATE; for just THAT fact?! It's MUCH more important than THAT!!!!” Chameleon says: “Well, I'm sure that WHATEVER that fact is, it couldn't POSSIBLY justify ALL of EVERYTHING that you have DONE this season!” Bulma angrily says: “It's TOTALLY JUSTIFIED!!!!” Suzie says: “Than maybe you should TELL us, instead of sneaking behind our backs like a common criminal!” Bulma says: “I'm not telling you PEONS ANYTHING!!!! I will NOT let you in on what makes ME tick; so good luck stopping THIS brainy beauty from winning ANYTHING!!!!” And Bulma walks out in a huff! Skipper asks: “BLOOMERS?! That's what this is all about?!” Captain Retro sighs and says: “Unfortunately, it seems to be the case. But if it's not her name; than it's got to be something MORE drastic!” Patrick suddenly gets an EPIPHANY and says: “Remember back in the Congo challenge?! Zarbon SAW Bulma's 'unmentionables,' and she FREAKED!!!!” Chameleon asks: “Does that mean that Bulma is embarrassed because SOMEBODY saw her bloomers, that wasn't SUPPOSED to?!” Captain Retro seriously says: “I think that's PRECISELY what this whole thing is all about!” Suzie sighs and says: “I can't believe Bulma Briefs could be SO petty!” Captain Retro sighs and says: “Sad to say; sometimes, evil is PETTY; and I don't mean Tom Petty!” (Confessional) Suzie shakes her head and says: “Man, I hoped Bulma had a much BIGGER embarrassing secret! I thought she accidentally blew up her father's science lab or STOLE some endangered animal specimen! Or at LEAST vandalized a rival scientist's lab! But NO! She's embarrassed because somebody SAW her bloomers! Well, if she's going to be THAT petty about such a little thing, than I have OFFICIALLY lost any sort of reserve sympathy that I HAD for HER!” / Reggie says: “As of right now, Bulma has now become irredeemable for even MY standards! So, I have no problem with giving her the boot any more!” /

Chameleon says: “I'll tell you this right now; Bulma wouldn't last a WEEK as a villain in Petropolis with just THAT attribute! The other villains would chew her up and spit her out!” / Skipper sputters and he says: “BLOOMERS?! This whole thing was about BLOOMERS?! All along, such a STUPID thing ALL along?! I can't BELIEVE that I thought you were capable of something DIABOLIC, when all you had going for you, was that YOU were embarrassed about your own BLOOMERS!!!! I can't even respect you as an ADVERSARY anymore! You make me SICK, Bulma Briefs!” / Patrick says: “I just want to state, for the record, I honestly didn't know about the 'Bloomers' connection.” / Bulma says: “I'm not going to let ANY of them know about that INICIDENT!!!! You wouldn't BELIEVE the lengths I had to go to in order to track down all the tapes and various other visual recordings of my incident! Even so, I can't let ANYBODY have ANY sort of PROOF that I was HUMILIATED!!!! That's why I need the CLEAN SLATE!!!! It's the only way to have EVERYONE respect ME!!!!” / Captain Retro says: “Now that I think about it, I don't think Bulma WOULD go to so much trouble if it was just ONE person who saw her bloomers! But that makes me shudder to think; how many people DID see her bloomers?! It MUST be a lot! Why else would she be so DESPERATE?! It still doesn't make ANYTHING she has done all right by ANY means! I STILL plan on stopping her no matter WHAT!!!!” (End Confessional)

 

Sniz comes over the intercom, and he announces: “Good morning, Final Seven! As you are aware, we are heading for the OK Corral in Tombstone, Arizona, for today's challenge! Now it's time how to explain to all of you how today's challenge is going to work. First off, you're going to ride on horses and rope some buffalo. Or rather, some former contestants who have agreed to pose as buffalo! For each buffalo you rope, you will earn ten minutes of time for the final part of the challenge! Because our legal department said that we can't use real guns, you will instead be utilizing paintball guns for the challenge. Within the time limit, you must track down and try to shoot as MANY different contestants as you can! And only by shooting DIFFERENT contestants will you be able to score points in the challenge! Whoever scores the most points will win immunity. It's that SIMPLE! Everyone else will be fair game at the elimination ceremony! And believe me, no matter who you are, if you are voted off, it WILL be game over for you! No if's, no why's, no buts! We should be landing at our destination within an hour. Sniz, out!” (Confessional) General Barracuda says: “I'm really excited about THIS challenge, I thought of it all by myself! But even I have no way of knowing who's going to come out on top in THIS challenge! We'll just have to wait and see! THIS is going to be EPIC!!!!” (End Confessional) / (Commercial Break) /

The plane lands in an open ranch area, within the desert that is Arizona near Tombstone. Sniz announces: “We have now arrived at our destination. You have fifteen minutes to change into the western costumes that we have provided for you, then you better come on out with your guns blazing, I reckon!” General Barracuda walks back to where Bulma is sitting, and General Barracuda chuckles, and says: “It must absolutely SUCK to be YOU right now!” Bulma asks: “Why would you think that?!” General Barracuda says: “Everyone is against YOU winning; Captain Retro plans to duel you PERSONALLY, and you have no comparable athletic skills to speak of! If I were in your situation, I certainly wouldn't want to deal with Captain Retro right now!” Bulma chuckles and she says: “Actually, I predict that Captain Retro won't lay a FINGER on me! I've devised SEVERAL strategies for getting MEDDLING dogs out of my hair, for just such an occasion like THIS one! You tell Captain Retro to meet me in the Cargo Room, where we can settle this dispute in a 'professional' matter, ONCE and for ALL!” (Confessional) Bulma says: “I don't care HOW smart and/or genre savvy Captain Retro IS! He can't POSSIBLY predict all the things that I'm ready to THROW at him! Since he's my biggest threat, I need to get rid of him FIRST! We'll see just how good Captain Retro is at WINNING challenges, when he can't even PARTICIPATE in it!” / General Barracuda says: “I personally know, that when someone wants to settle a dispute 'professionally,' it ALWAYS means DIRTY, and I DO mean always!” (End Confessional)

General Barrcuda goes up to Captain Retro, and the General says: “Captain Retro, I'm not sure why, but Bulma Briefs says that she wants to settle something with you in the Cargo Room. Personally, I wouldn't give her the time of day. It smells like a dirty TRAP!!!!” Captain Retro gets a vision, and he says: “Not one trap, SEVERAL!!!! But I've GOT to go back there!” General Barracuda asks: “Why?” Captain Retro worriedly says: “Because, I have a feeling Bulma isn't ALONE back there!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “Personally, it's not really Bulma Briefs that I'm worried after; it's this sneaking suspicion that there is something TRULY wicked and UGLY lurking in the Cargo area, and Bulma Briefs KNOWS what it is! It needs to be found, and STOPPED once and for all!” (End Confessional) Captain Retro knocks on the door of the Cargo Room, and he notices that the window OF that door has been broken, as if somebody jumped THROUGH it! Captain Retro asks: “You want to settle this dispute now?” Bulma sweetly says: “Come right in. I've got nothing to hide!” Captain Retro, under his breath, says: “In a pig's eye!” Captain Retro walks into the darkened Cargo Room, but he immediately LUNGES to the ground, and avoids SIX projectile spears being SHOT at him, than he leaps forward to AVOID a net trap that springs up to try to catch him, than he shouts: “Kamehameha!!!!” And BLASTS a giant boulder that comes ROLLING toward him! Than Captain Retro looks down at the ground, and sees a trail of DOG kibble, leading to a box with a stick being held with a string. Captain Retro says: “I expected MORE from you, Bulma, but this is just SAD!!!! How stupid do you think I am?!” Bulma, from somewhere in the room, says: “You don't really want me to ANSWER that one, do you, PEON?!” Than Captain Retro DUCKS to avoid a cannonball, jumps BACKWARDS to avoid a FLAMETHROWER that spurts fire; than a paintball gun FIRES six paintball pellets at Captain Retro, but Captain Retro is SO fast, he CATCHES every single pellet in his hand, and they DON'T even explode! Bulma finally LOSES it, and SCREAMS: “Why aren't my plans WORKING?!!!” Captain Retro says: “Give it UP already! Isn't it obvious that no matter WHAT you come up with, that you can't defeat the forces of good?!” Bulma defiantly says: “How DARE YOU?!!! With my brains and money, I've done more GOOD for people in the past twenty years, than you've EVER done for ANYONE in YOUR entire LIFE!!!!” Captain Retro asks: “And you think THAT entitles you to be a selfish, conniving, disrespectful, self-centered, unapologetic female dog?! You didn't even EARN the RIGHT to own a Clean Slate!”

Bulma says: “Oh, I've EARNED it! I've spent my LIFETIME earning it! I don't care what it TAKES, but I'm going to GET that mask off of your FACE, and there is NOTHING in the WORLD that ANYONE can do to STOP me!” Than a CREEPY familiar voice screams: “PRECIOUS!!!!” And Anti-Timmy comes LUNGING in, and GRABS Bulma in his creepy geen hands! Bulma screams: “NO!!!! I took CARE of you! I bathed you, I fed you, I gave you muscles and determination you NEVER would have had WITHOUT me; and how do you REPAY me?! By touching me with FILTHY hands?!” Captain Retro says: “So Anti-Timmy WAS still alive back here! How do you EXPLAIN yourself, BULMA?!!!” Bulma sarcastically says: “Yeah, right! Like I would REALLY admit to Sniz that it was all because of ME that Anti-Timmy even exists?! Get REAL!!!!” Anti-Timmy says: “You did this to me! You STOLE it from US!!!! We had looks, popularity, good plots, and great animation, before YOU came along and ruined it for US!!!! You left US with NOTHING! You RUINED OUR LIFE, so now, WE will destroy YOURS!!!!” Bulma desperately yells: “Captain Retro, SAVE me!!!!” Captain Retro seriously says: “But what can a 'peon' like ME do?! I thought YOU were the GENIUS who knew EVERYTHING, and could handle ANY sort of situation!” Bulma yells: “I was just trying to IMPRESS people, in order to cover up my own inadequacies of HORRIBLE feelings for all the STUFF I've pulled on all of you THIS season!” Captain Retro asks: “And it NEVER crossed your mind that you could have acted NICER to everyone else this entire season?!” Bulma yells: “Fine! I ADMIT it! I was a TERRIBLE, LOUSY contestant to ALL of you! I SAID it! Now SAVE me!” Captain Retro thinks about it, and says: “Just admit on International Television of all the rotten things you've DONE this season, and I will be more than willing to save you!” Bulma screams: “And humiliate myself on International Television yet AGAIN?!!! You're out of your MIND!!!!” Anti-Timmy says: “Don't even THINK about trying to save her! You KNOW she DESERVES this!” Captain Retro seriously says: “Nobody DESERVES anything! Just put her down, and we'll discuss things RATIONALLY! Everything is okay!” Bulma asks: “How is everything OKAY?!”

Captain Retro says: “I'm saying that everything is going to BE okay!” Anti-Timmy says: “Don't BET on it, Dog Boy!!!!” And holding Bulma in his claw-like hands, Anti-Timmy JUMPS through a glass window on the airplane, and lands on the ground without a scratch! Anti-Timmy says: “You seem quite FOND of DANGLING other contestants over a CLIFF, so it only seems FAIR to subject YOU to the EXACT, same TREATMENT!!!!” Bulma desperately screams: “NO!!!! Not THAT!!!! Anything but THAT!!!!” Anti-Timmy says: “You reap what you SOW, Bulma!!!!” Bulma screams: “HELP!!!! HELP!!!!” As Anti-Timmy runs across the desert! Captain Retro says: “Not good! Looks like I'm going to need help after ALL!!!!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “This is why you should NEVER just assume that you have a problem taken care of! In Anti-Timmy's case, unless you KILL it and you kill it with FIRE, then he's just going to keep coming back and coming back until he gets what he WANTS! And unlike Bulma, he's got NOTHING left to lose by DOING what he is doing! And that makes him more dangerous! It's going to take ALL of us to bring Anti-Timmy down ONCE and for all!” (End Confessional) Captain Retro runs back into the First Class section, and he says: “We've got a situation, and for once, it's not Bulma Briefs!” Reggie asks: “What do you mean?” Captain Retro says: “You know how we kept thinking Anti-Timmy was gone? Well, he's NOT gone! He's STILL alive! And now he's got Bulma Briefs, and he's going to KILL her!” Suzie defiantly says: “That's HER problem! She CHOSE to create this problem, and NOW she can deal with the consequences of her LOUSY DECISIONS!!!!” Captain Retro says: “Look, I KNOW Bulma made a lot of bad choices this season, but that doesn't mean that WE have to.” Patrick asks: “What can we possibly do to stop him?” Skipper boldly says: “We saddle up; ride like the wind, and confront Anti-Timmy once and for all!” Chameleon says: That sounds like a plan to me! Than we can all pitch in, and deal with Bulma Briefs together!” Reggie says: “But whatever we do, let's not hurt her! I know we're all angry for what she has done to us, but I STILL don't believe that it's all right to destroy a person, no matter HOW horrible they have been on the inside!” Captain Retro says: “Agreed. It's actually a WORSE punishment to let them live, because THEY have to live with the guilt and horrible feelings that they have for the rest of their lives!” Patrick says: “Wow! I never thought of it like THAT way before!” Suzie says: “That's because you've rarely THOUGHT, this season!” Patrick says: “HEY!!!!” Suzie shrugs, and she says: “Well, I'm just SAYING!!!!” Skipper says: “We can argue about this later! We've got an Anti-Timmy to round up!”

(Confessional) Chameleon says: “This season, I've learned a lot about the way good guys think. It's not simply about taking the anger you've had as a bad guy, and transferring it to being a good guy; you have to act more rationally than that! It's a good thing that I have someone like Captain Retro to show me the ropes, it really helps me to learn the right kinds of moves I need to make, in order to be a genuine good guy.” / Reggie says: “If someone needs to be punished for doing something wrong, I prefer to do it the right way. I don't like rushing in and making a hasty decision that I'll regret later! That's why I make all of my moves calculate and rational! It keeps me honest, and I get to keep feeling good about myself!” / Patrick says: “Even in a situation like this, the other contestants STILL feel the need to insult me! Can't I EVER get a BREAK this season?!” / Suzie says: “I was just saying what everyone ELSE was thinking! It's certainly not MY fault that Patrick can't take a little criticism!” / Skipper says: “I've always wanted to ride on the open range, and hunt down a bad guy like a Western Sheriff and his Deputy would! This is my big chance to do so!” / Captain Retro says: “I admit, this is not the scenario I had in mind for dealing with Bulma Briefs, it's actually better! This way, we ALL get a chance of fighting with Bulma Briefs and dealing with her ONCE and for all!” (End Confessional) Sniz walks outside, and through a megaphone, he announces: “All right, contestants! It's time for you to come out and--.” But the contestants quickly rush out, and Captain Retro says: “Sorry, no time to listen to the rules and regulations today!” Sniz asks: “But why?” Skipper seriously says: “Because Anti-Timmy is still alive, and we need to stop him once and for all!” Sniz asks: “SERIOUSLY?! How many LIVES does that creature HAVE anyways?!” (Confessional) Sniz says: “Personally, I've had it up to HERE with the contestants having to deal with Anti-Timmy! It's getting OLD!!!! I hope that they KILL him, and that they KILL him with FIRE!!!!” (End Confessional)

Anti-Timmy pants, and he says: “Where's a cliff, where's a CLIFF?! Where's the Grand Canyon when we NEED it?!” Bulma laughs and he says: “You ARE a freaking IDIOT!!!! We're like, 300 MILES away from the Grand Canyon! It would take you like, fifteen DAYS to run there if you ran two miles an hour for ten hours in a day; and that's ASSUMING you don't need to stop for FOOD!” Anti-Timmy says: “FINE! So we won't go to the Grand Canyon; we'll do BETTER than that! I'll drop you off a TALL mesa!” Bulma sarcastically says: “I WISH you could actually FIND one anytime soon!” Blonda suddenly appears, and she says: “Bulma, your WISH is GRANTED!” And she poofs up a TALL mesa just FOUR miles away! Anti-Timmy evilly says: “You were SAYING?!” Bulma sourly says: “I've REALLY got to learn how to stop talking when I'm only SLIGHTLY behind!” / The contestants see their path blocked by a bunch of former contestants posing as buffalo! Among the former contestants are Jimmy Neutron, Patty Mayonnaise, Kitty Katswell, Haggis McHaggis, Twister Rodriguez, Treeflower, Dib Bitters, Judy Funny, Sway-Sway, Stanley Squarepants, Guano, Invader Zim, Keswick, Kaput, Otto Rocket, Heffer Wolfe, Globitha, Robot Default, Buhdeuce, Phoebe Hyerdahl, Monster Krumholtz, Spongebob Squarepants, Larry the Lobster, Tigress, Randolph, Daggett and Norbert, Gonard, Po, Dog, Stimpy, Marlene, Wally, Rocko, and Dudley. Reggie says: “You know, I was just thinking; it might help if we round up a few of our friends. I'm sure THEY have a few things they want to say to Bulma just as much as WE do!” Chameleon says: “That's a good idea if I've ever heard of one!” (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!) Over the communicators, Sniz says: “And while you're rounding up your friends, I want you to sing a hit song by The Beatles. Preferably; one that was written by George Harrison, and comes from the Rubber Soul album.” Captain Retro says: “Than I think we've got JUST the song for you!” / Genre: The Beatles. Sub-genre: Pop Rock. Song: “Think for Yourself.” Sung by: Captain Retro, Skipper, Chameleon, Suzie, Reggie, and Patrick! /

As the contestants round up their friends, they think about either all the things that Bulma has done, or that she ORDERED other former contestants to do FOR her! / Captain Retro: “I've got a word or two, to say about the things that you do!” Skipper: “You're telling all those lies, about the good things that we can have if we close our eyes!” Chameleon: “Do what you want to do, and go where you're going to! Think for yourself cause I won't be there with you!” Suzie: “I left you far behind; the ruins of the life that you have in mind!” Reggie: “And though you still can't see, I know your mind's made up; you're gonna cause more misery!” Patrick: “Do what you want to do, and go where you're going to! Think for yourself cause I won't be there with you!” Skipper: “Although your mind's opaque, try thinking more if just for your own sake!” Captain Retro: “The future still looks good, and you've got time to rectify all the things that you should!” Suzie: “Do what you want to do, and go where you're going to!” Reggie: “Think for yourself cause I won't be there with you!” Skipper: “Do what you want to do, and go where you're going to!” Captain Retro: “Think for yourself cause I won't be there with you!” Contestants: “Think for yourself cause I won't be there with you!” / And the epic song ends as all the former contestants are rounded up!

Jimmy Neutron says: “Wow! It's certainly been a long time since some of us have seen you! But why did you wound us all up?” Chameleon asks: “Listen, most of you guys want to get BACK at Bulma Briefs for what she put you through, right?!” Kitty Katswell says: “More than ever! Nobody makes ME think that another contestant, such as you, is bad when they really WEREN'T!” Suzie says: “Well, this is a perfect chance to get even! We're going to confront Bulma Briefs and we're going to put an END to this charade, ONCE and for ALL!” Twister says: “That sounds like a plan if I've ever heard of one!” Patty Mayonnaise says: “Then what are we waiting for? Let's get a MOVE on!” (Confessional) Jimmy Neutron says: “I have to give Bulma credit! It takes a lot of brains to get ME eliminated and then make Snaptrap take ALL the credit for coming up with that EVIL plan! But now, we're going to set the record straight, by any means NECESSARY!” / Kitty says: “I'm glad that Sniz gave me a chance to come back for this challenge, because it finally gave me a chance to apologize to Chameleon for falsely suspecting him of being a bad guy. Keswick and Dudley were certainly happy that I did!” / Twister says: “I knew all along that something wasn't RIGHT about ME being eliminated! It was ALL Bulma's doing! The Twister shouldn't have LOST!” /

Haggis says: “Bulma's plan of using Kaput to trick me into hitting Treeflower was evil; no question about it! But now I can finally show her why you should NEVER try to lie or deceive a Scotsman under ANY circumstances! She's going to PAY for her crime against me!” / Kaput says: “I used to think of myself as the MASTER saboteur of this season; but what Bulma pulled AGAINST me after 'CLAIMING' to be my ally?! That was just COLD! And I do NOT like being USED like that! She BETTER hope that everyone else is able to hold me back; because I do NOT want to show her ANY mercy!” / Otto Rocket says: “Now, don't get me wrong. I'm glad that my sister has managed to get as far as she has; but if it WEREN'T for Bulma's doing, I probably could STILL be in the contest right now! Since I'll never know for sure now; I guess I'll just have to settle for letting Bulma know just what I THINK of her!” / Larry says: “I certainly don't appreciate what Bulma has done to me OR to my friends throughout this season! There are several things that I would like to CALL her, and NONE of them are appropriate for the standards of PG rated television!” / Tigress says: “Bulma should consider herself lucky that I found myself some enlightenment this season. If I was still inclined to resort to my OLD standby, I would just beat her up! But instead, I'm going to rely on a more MENTAL technique, and psyche her out, just to see how SHE reacts to a taste of her OWN medicine!” / Norbert says: “I think I speak for myself, my brother, AND my wife when I say, Bulma Briefs is GOING to pay for ELIMINATING all THREE of us!” / Stimpy says: “Personally, I'm not even THAT upset that I was eliminated; I'm more upset that Bulma had Zarbon cover me in black paint! That wasn't a very nice thing to do! I want a personal explanation from her, as to WHY she DID that to me!” / Marlene says: “Bulma's got a lot of NERVE to THINK that she's NOT going to pay for her crimes! I mean, did she HONESTLY think that we WEREN'T going to take getting eliminated PERSONALLY?! It is SO over for her, and I will be one of the FIRST to tell her, 'I told you SO!' In THOSE exact words!” / Rocko says: “I always knew that karma was going to strike Bulma when the time was right! This is what it will all boil down to! This is Bulma's moment of reckoning!” (End Confessional)

Anti-Timmy is climbing up the mesa with Bulma, and Bulma nervously says: “Come ON!!!! What is this about ANYWAYS?! Is it because I convinced Sniz to THROW you off the plane FIRST as a JOKE?! Is it because I convinced Guano and Snaptrap to convince the rest of Team Doom to vote YOU off FIRST?! Does this have to do with the fact that I had Kaput and Taotie torture you and TORMENT you with hideous scientific experiments until you grew all UGLY and DEFORMED?! Is this because I MADE you eat all those votes for Oonski and fit you with an Electronic Collar?! Is this because I tried to shoot you back in the Congo?! Is it because I tied you up into a pretzel shape, and left you to STARVE in the Cargo Hold?!” Anti-Timmy GROWLS angrily, as if to indicate that it's ALL of those things! Bulma angrily says: “I'm just TOTALLY NOT helping my case at all, am I?! Why can't I STOP talking when I'm only SLIGHTLY behind?!” (Confessional) Bulma says: “On a scale from 1 to 10, this day now OFFICIALLY ranks in the bottom FIVE worst days of my entire LIFE!!!!” (End Confessional) Both the former, AND the current contestants, arrive at the bottom of the mesa! Dib Bitters says: “There they go; they're almost at the top!” Judy says: “We have GOT to stop Anti-Timmy!” Wally asks: “But how?! When Captain Retro tried BLASTING him, he just regenerated his lost hand!” Captain Retro says: “Than we've got to destroy him ALL at once; by killing him with FIRE!!!! Chameleon, can you transform into a volcano?!” Chameleon suddenly gets an Anime sweatdrop, and says: “I'm not sure. I could try!” Captain Retro says: “Just dig in deep. I believe in you! The rest of us will go up the mesa and intercept Bulma Briefs! We'll make sure that she has NO avenue of escape!” (Confessional) Wally says: “Personally, I don't like having to get THIS desperate in trying to destroy something, but it NEEDS to be done! This is the only way to make SURE Anti-Timmy gets canceled—I mean, eliminated!” / Chameleon says: “There's a very SIMPLE reason as to WHY I don't KNOW if I can change into a volcano; I've never had to TRY a morph like that before! But if it works, it will definitely be a good way to get rid of Anti-Timmy!” / Captain Retro smiles, and he says: “I've always WANTED to do an ending homage to The Return of the King, and what a better occasion to do so, than with Anti-Timmy's EPIC end?! Peter Jackson, eat your heart out!” (End Confessional)

Anti-Timmy gets to the top of the mesa with Bulma, and he says: “Are you ready to be flung about a THOUSAND feet to a hideous SPLAT?!!!” Bulma nervously says: “You don't want to DO this! You'll be a MURDERER! A social pariah! No one will ever like you AGAIN! Think about the CONSEQUENCES!” Anti-Timmy angrily says: “YOU should have THOUGHT about the consequences of MESSING with things that you DON'T understand! But you just kept PUSHING me into THIS! You have NO one to BLAME for THIS except YOURSELF! And now you will finally PAY for what you've done for me! You will pay for it in INTEREST!!!!” Captain Retro shouts: “Kamehameha!!!!” And he shoots off Anti-Timmy's left hand! And Anti-Timmy turns around, and sees all the former AND current contestants, coming up and surrounding him on the mesa! Anti-Timmy regenerates his lost hand, and he says: “You think that ganging up on me will make a bit of DIFFERENCE?! I am TOUGHER than ALL of you!!!!” Otto Rocket removes a gold skater ring from his finger, and he angrily says: “I am SO sick and TIRED of all your STUPID posing, and your HORRIBLE attitude towards EVERYTHING! You WANT the precious so BAD?! TAKE IT!!!!” And Otto Rocket THROWS his ring TOWARDS the edge of the mesa, and Anti-Timmy screams: “MY PRECIOUS!!!!” And Anti-Timmy quickly RUNS out for it, leaps, and catches it, but he is COMPLETELY oblivious that he is FALLING towards CHAMELEON, who has JUST managed to transform into a volcano, FULL of LAVA, and he HITS the lava with a SICKENING SPLASH as he starts to get BOILED away into NOTHINGNESS! Cosmo yells: “WANDA!!!! I think we're going to need another TIMMY!!!!” Wanda says: “You've been waiting seventeen YEARS, just to say that LINE, haven't you?!” Cosmo coyly says: “MAYBE!!!!” And Chameleon BURPS a cloud of smoke ring, indicating that the job is done!

Bulma pants, and she says: “I'm ALIVE! I'm SAFE!!!! I knew you wouldn't fail me! You LIKE me! You REALLY like ME!!!!” Sway-Sway incredulously asks: “Do you think we came up here because we LIKE you?! You have no RIGHT to thank us for saving you!” Buhdeuce says: “Our show might have done some questionable things, but what you have DONE to all of us is simply REPUGNANT!!!!” Bulma incredulously says: “Don't blame ME for ALL of your short-comings!!!! Do you HONESTLY think that ANY of you could have made the Final Seven even IF I hadn't been a FACTOR?! You're deluding yourselves!!!!” Heffer Wolfe says: “Whether or NOT we would have made it isn't even the POINT, Bulma!” Robot says: “You took that chance for us to find out AWAY from ALL of us, Bulma!” Globitha says: “With only a FEW exceptions, you NEVER let ANY of us get eliminated in a matter that was FAIR! That wasn't RIGHT of you!” Phoebe says: “Even ANGELICA had the decency to tell me that she was BACKSTABBING me to my FACE!” Daggett asks: “And was all the pain and agony you put us through WORTH it?! Just to get yourself a few inches CLOSER than you would've gotten OTHERWISE?! You never even TRIED to play fair!” Bulma finally screams: “But, I had no CHOICE!!!!” Marlene asks: “What are you TALKING about?! You've ALWAYS had a choice!” Bulma says: “Not for my Clean Slate! Dr. Gero told me that the only way I could GET my Clean Slate from HIM, was to actively sabotage as MANY contestants as I can, in the most HEINOUS way possible that I could THINK of!” Dudley asks: “Do you expect us to believe you NOW; after all this LYING you've done throughout the season?!” Bulma pleads: “You've got to BELIEVE me! I never would've TRIED to pull any of the STUNTS I've pulled this season if I didn't have a REASON! But you don't know how DESPERATELY I NEED this CLEAN Slate! I could FINALLY be a QUEEN!!!!” Rocko exasperated, says: “You're NOT fit to be Queen of...NAME a PLACE!!!!” Bulma asks: “Barstow, California?” Randolph says: “ESPECIALLY Barstow, California!” Bulma says: “I can PROVE Dr. Gero made me do this! He has been hiding on the plane this whole time! I can SHOW him to you! Just SPARE me from a HORRIBLE elimination!” Captain Retro says: “Oh, I BELIEVE that you WILL show us whether or NOT Dr. Gero IS on the plane or NOT; but you're NOT worming your way OUT of your punishment!” Bulma nervously says: “Come on! Lighten up! Are you STILL angry that I tried to eliminate you BEFORE this challenge even STARTED?! COME ON!!!! Can't you take a JOKE?!” Dog says: “I KNOW jokes! I've TOLD jokes! But everything YOU'VE done this season, has been NO joke! And it's TIME to reveal the punch-line to EVERYONE, once and for ALL!” /

Genre: Pop Rock. Sub-genre: Cher. Song: “Just like Jesse James.” Sung by: The current contestants! / The current contestants surround Bulma Briefs, as they are all brandishing a paintball gun. / Captain Retro: “You're strutting into town like you're slinging a gun.” Bulma: “You’re just a small town dude with a big city attitude. Honey, are you looking for some trouble tonight? Well, all right! You think you're so bad, drive the women folk wild. Shoot them all down with the flash of your pearly smile.” Captain Retro: “Honey, but you met your match tonight. Oh, that's right!” Skipper: “You think you'll knock me off my feet until I'm flat on the floor. Until my heart is crying ‘Uncle’ and I'm begging for more!” Suzie: “So come on baby, come on baby; come on baby, show me what that loaded gun is for!” (Shoots Bulma!) Reggie: “If you can give it, I can take it. Cause, if this heart is gonna break it's gonna take a lot to break it!” Bulma: “I know tonight, somebody's gonna win the fight!” Captain Retro: “So if you're so tough, come on and prove it. Your heart is down for the count, and you know you're gonna lose it! Tonight you're gonna go down in flames, just like Jesse James!” (Shoots Bulma!) Chameleon: “You're an outlaw lover and I'm after your hide. Well you ain't so strong, won't be long until your hands are tied!” (Shoots Bulma!) Patrick: “Tonight, I'm gonna take you in dead or alive, that's right! You break the laws of love in the name of desire.” Bulma: “Take ten steps back, because I'm ready, baby!” Captain Retro: “Aim and fire! (Shoots Bulma) Baby, there's nowhere you can run tonight! Ooh, that's right! Well, you've had your way with love, but it's the end of the day. Now, a team of wild horses couldn't drag my heart away! So come on baby, come on, baby; come on baby, you know there ain't nothing left to say. If you can give it, I can take it. Cause, if this heart is gonna break it's gonna take a lot to break it!” Bulma: “I know tonight, somebody's gonna win the fight.” Captain Retro: “So if you're so tough, come on and prove it. Your heart is down for the count, and you know you're gonna lose it. Tonight you're gonna go down in flames, just like Jesse James!” (Shoots Bulma)

[INSTRUMENTAL BREAK]
Patrick: “You think you'll knock me off my feet until I'm flat on the floor. Until my heart is crying ‘Uncle’ and I'm begging for more! So come on baby, come on baby; come on baby, come on! If you can give it, I can take it! Cause if this heart is gonna break, it's gonna take a lot to break it!” (Shoots Bulma!) Bulma: “I know tonight, somebody's gonna win the fight!” Captain Retro: “So if you're so tough, come on and prove it. Your heart is down for the count, and you know you're gonna lose it! Tonight you're gonna go down in flames, just like Jesse James! (Shoots Bulma!) Tonight you're gonna go down in flames, just like Jesse James!” All Current Contestants except Bulma: “Tonight you're gonna go down in flames, just like Jesse James!” (They ALL shoot Bulma!) Skipper: “I'm gonna shoot you down Jesse James!” / And the epic song ends as the current contestants shoot ALL their paint balls at Bulma! / Sniz finally shows up, and he claps enthusiastically at the performance! Sniz says: “Well done! It's over, the challenge is ALL over! And in an UNUSUAL twist, we have a SIX way TIE!!!! Because you all FIRED at Bulma Briefs, you ALL won the SAME amount of points! To determine the winner of this challenge, we will settle this with a tie-breaker question! Jenny, bring in the tie-breaker pedestal from Legends of the Hidden Temple!” And Jenny flies in, carrying a six-pedestal buzzer for the six contestants. Sniz says: “Your question will be related to a Wild Western movie, since this WAS a Wild Western challenge! Who played the title character, in the 2013 movie version, of The Lone Ranger?” And Skipper QUICKLY buzzes in first, BEFORE Captain Retro! Sniz asks: “Skipper?” Skipper says: “The answer my friend, is Armie Hammer!” Sniz says: “That is absolutely correct! You've won immunity and a spot in the V.I.P. Lounge!” Skipper sighs and says: “Sorry, Captain Retro; but I couldn't RISK Bulma trying to eliminate ME again! You understand, right?” Captain Retro says: “Statistically speaking, you HAD to win a challenge SOONER or later!” Sniz says: “That means this evening, you seven contestants can NOT vote for Skipper! Everyone is fair game, because it's time for another Elimination Ceremony, to DETERMINE the Final Six!” (Confessional) Skipper jumps up and says: “YES!!!! Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!!!! I did it, I DID it, AND I DID IT!!!! I've got a spot in the Final Six!” / Captain Retro says: “Losing to Skipper? Tragic; but I'll settle for Bulma Briefs going down!” /

Patrick says: “It will be interesting to see how Bulma reacts to having her NAME show up on the pass-port stamps that we will punch OUT for her!” / Suzie says: “Bulma, my mother once told me if you can't say something NICE about someone, don't say ANYTHING at all! Needless to say, I have NOTHING more to SAY about you!” / Reggie says: “The moment of truth has finally come, Bulma! It's time for you to see why crime simply NEVER pays in the LONG run!” / Bulma growls angrily, and she says: “If ONLY I had GOTTEN that MASK; I would have had it MADE!!!! Don't they REALIZE that they're voting off the biggest REASON for this show HAVING the ratings that it DOES?!!! This CAN'T be OVER!!!!” / Chameleon says: “It is SO over!” (End Confessional) The contestants have all cleaned up, and all dressed back in their normal outfits. Sniz says: “First of all, here is your Immunity Popcorn, Skipper. Treasure it like a TRUE winner would! Now for the rest of you, six of you have fought hard to make it this far, but only five of you will get to join Skipper in the Final Six. Now, does anyone have anything they'd like to say before we commence voting?” Captain Retro stands up, and he says: “I do. My fellow contestants, I know some of us have had our differences in the past, but I just want you to know, that all things considered, I've had nothing but the utmost respect and honesty with you. And if it comes to a vote, I've already got a pretty good idea, that my vote is going to either Suzie or Reggie, when the time comes. Bulma Briefs, you have been a HORRIBLE contestant this season, and you've caused nothing but AGONY and GRIEF to our former contestants!” Bulma asked: “How so?” Captain Retro says: “Well, for starters, let's go back to the micro-chip incident from the Idaho challenge. Snaptrap's micro-chip SOMEHOW wound up on Reggie Rocket, despite Reggie having NEVER personally made any sort of ill will AGAINST Snaptrap, and Snaptrap having never TOLD anyone ABOUT that micro-chip! Tell me, why would his micro-chip wind up on Reggie Rocket, if she had NEVER done anything bad against him?” Bulma asks: “Why would Snaptrap NEED a reason?! He could have just done it because it AMUSED him, a lot of villains DO that!”

Captain Retro says: “No; that simply doesn't seem plausible! It always seemed like trying to sabotage Reggie Rocket NEEDED a reason to happen, and Snaptrap didn't HAVE the proper motivation to WANT to eliminate Reggie, but perhaps someone ELSE in the game DID! And YOU, Bulma Briefs, have always BRAGGED about being the SMARTEST contestant in the entire game! SURELY you would have RECOGNIZED Reggie's potential for WINNING the game early ON, and would have TRIED to SUBVERT her chances early ON; BEFORE she could become a THREAT to you!” Bulma says: “You're just trying to throw BASELESS accusations at me! You have NOTHING based in reality to back you up on THIS!” Captain Retro says: “It is NOT a baseless accusation, and I CAN actually prove this!” Bulma asks: “And just HOW, might I ask, can you DO that?!” Captain Retro says: “Because your BIGGEST weakness has ALWAYS been your inability to keep your mouth shut, and you would NEVER divulge your secrets to ANYONE you THOUGHT of as a THREAT; I ASKED Gonard to RECORD your voice with a Dog Bone VOICE RECORDER that I GAVE him, and HE gave it back to ME before he got ELIMINATED! So if you don't MIND, everyone, I will now play for you EXACTLY what Bulma Briefs has had in MIND during her competition THIS season!”

And as Captain Retro plays his Voice Recorder, the camera changes to focus on the expressions of the other contestants, Bulma gets more and MORE horrified that her thoughts have been exposed, while all the OTHER contestants get MORE disgusted by Bulma's TRUE thoughts! /

Gonard says: “It's nice to see you here, Bulma. How are you doing?” Bulma scoffs and says: “Not so well that I'm not WILLING to spend at least a FEW minutes of my life with you!” Gonard asks: “I just don't understand what your problem is. Maybe if you talked about it, you would feel better about yourself, as well as everybody else.” Bulma SERIOUSLY says: “I don't WANT to know anybody else! I don't want to have ANYTHING to DO with them!” Gonard asks: “What about Zarbon? You seem awfully chummy with him.” Bulma scoffs and says: “Chummy? PLEASE!!!! Like I 'ACTUALLY' love him, he's just a guy that I'm leading on for as LONG as it's CONVENIENT for me! When he ceases to be useful, I'll BETRAY him and DUMP him at my first convenience! He's just a PAWN that I'm using to FURTHER my own game!” Gonard asks: “Are you SAYING that you honestly don't CARE for Zarbon?!” Bulma groans and says: “Not only do I NOT care for Zarbon, I don't care for ANYBODY in this competition!” Gonard says: “You can't HONESTLY mean that!” Bulma says: “Believe me, I do! Can you keep a secret? Of COURSE you can! Besides, who would believe YOU even IF you told anybody? NOBODY! That's WHO! I am a GENIUS, and you're...GONARD! It's MY word against YOUR word! And we BOTH know who would WIN in a debate!” Gonard says: “I'm not trying to come down on you, I just want to get to know you!” Bulma says: “All you need to know is that despite what Zarbon has claimed, I have been in charge of ALL the power moves of this game! Zarbon MIGHT have been the one to carry out the dirty deeds, but I WAS the one who came up with ALL the ideas!” Gonard says: “NO!!!! Bulma confidently says: “YES! Who ELSE could come up with the BRILLIANT plan to have Timmy Turner eliminated so soon, so I could have Zarbon MUTATE Timmy Turner so that he would grow all ROTTEN and HIDEOUS and be the PERFECT weapon to have in order to protect me in Elimination Ceremonies?! Who ELSE would give Snaptrap the idea to RIG off Jimmy Neutron, the GREATEST threat to my genius, so that he couldn't POSSIBLY have a chance to use HIS brain against MINE?! Who ELSE could have come up with the plan that if Zarbon were to RIG the plane, it would CAUSE Captain Retro and Marlene to KISS, RUINING her relationship with Skipper?!”

Suzie angrily says: “SHE did IT! It was ALL HER!!!!” Gonard seriously asks: “That was YOU?!” Bulma says: “That's not all! Who else could engineer the eliminations of Fanboy, Roger, Kitty Katswell, Snaptrap, Haggis McHaggis, Twister, Lil Deville, Skipper TWICE, Angelica Pickles TWICE, Pearl Krabs Star, Treeflower, Dib Bitters and Judy Funny, Sway-Sway, Harvey Beaks and Craig Slithers, Stanley S. Squarepants, Super Chum, the REAL Guano, Invader Zim, Keswick, Kaput and Oonski the Great, Otto Rocket, Sanjay and Heffer Wolfe, Globitha and Robot Default, King Julien and Buhdeuce, Monster Krumholtz, Spongebob, Blonda and Larry, Taotie and Tigress, Randolph, Daggett AND Norbert?! That was ME!!!! It was ALL me! I KNEW Angelica would be SO conceited and DENSE, that she would BELIEVE that if she DID all the HORRIBLE things I said and SAID all the HORRIBLE things I TOLD her to say, that she would automatically GET all the money, then be DESPERATE enough to go to Dai Shi to help her get back IN the competition, which would lead to Otto Rocket's elimination! And Treeflower? She could have held out longer, IF I didn't tell Zarbon to SPIKE her food with chemicals that would CAUSE her to get sick and ill! I also told Zarbon to SPIKE Dib Bitters food in order to MAKE his food fail with General Barracuda, and I HAD Zarbon inject the bull named El Toro Loco with a serum to make him go CRAZY with rage when Judy Funny took a ride on him! I BRIBED Jenny Quackles to GIVE Sway-Sway a chance! I knew that if Sway-Sway HAD Jenny Quackles to go after, he'd QUIT the game! It was MY idea for Kaput to DAMAGE the food conveyer belt, FORCING Craig Slithers to eat the uncooked pizza and therefore, be UNABLE to help his team get a win! I FED Stanley S. Squarepants the LIE that if HE bragged about his being able to drive to SPONGEBOB, that Spongebob would APPRECIATE Stanley, knowing full-well it would SET Spongebob OFF!!!!” Gonard, in an unbelieving tone says: “You DIDN'T!!!!”

Patrick just shakes his head and says: “This is unacceptable!” Bulma says: “But I DID!!!! I was the one who called Global Warmer to attack Man-Arctica, FORCING the latter to seek out Super Chum and get HIM out of the competition! And Otto was DESPERATE enough for a win, that he was willing to believe that if he took out Guano, it would help him OUT in the competition! Of course, by this time, Keswick was getting NOSY and getting FAR too close to the truth, so I HAD to use Anti-Timmy to engineer HIS elimination! After that, Kaput and Oonski had outlived THEIR usefulness to me, so I decided to get Kaput out with his allergy to MOLES, and dug up the VERY useful information about Oonski's parentage to Daggett! Ironically enough, Blonda's entrance into the game, which I could not POSSIBLY plan for, ended up helping ME immensely! With her OVER-BLOATED ego, I could use her narcissism to make HER look BAD to everyone else and make ME look good by comparison! Her ego was the best weapon I could have HAD in order to take out Sanjay, Heffer, Buhdeuce, King Julien, AND Monster Krumholtz! Of course, I also couldn't possibly IGNORE the double-threat of Globitha and Robot, CLEAR audience favorites that would get in the WAY of MY eventual win, so I convinced EVERYONE, even MONSTER, to vote her off, and Robot Default wouldn't be ABLE to compete WITHOUT her, so he would QUIT the game WITH her! I HAD hoped to take Blonda out for GOOD after the Australian challenge, but she ended up providing me with an opportunity that I COULDN'T resist; taking out Spongebob! So I threw OUT the idea to Taotie, that if he were to micro-chip Spongebob's koala, it would get Spongebob out for GOOD! And because Blonda had just made SKIPPER the brand new target of the instigator who would be BEHIND Spongebob's elimination, it was the perfect opportunity to get RID of him AGAIN!”

Skipper angrily says: “How DARE she?!” Gonard shakes his head and says: “I can't believe ANY of this!” Bulma says: “I assure you, that what I am telling you IS true! Of course, there was no WAY I could risk either Blonda or Larry making it to the team merge, which is why I convinced Zarbon to convince LARRY to cheat on his behalf, and CATCH Larry cheating once I RATTED Zarbon OUT for it! And while Taotie was INDEED useful to me, I couldn't STAND his ugliness anymore, which is why I convinced Zarbon to hack into the computer main-frame, and write up that automatic double elimination rule for the Congo challenge, and to make SURE Taotie got paired up with Tigress, knowing full well that Tigress would do ANYTHING to get Taotie out of the competition, EVEN if it meant sacrificing her own game! As for Randolph, I BRIBED him to quit the game in case he got caught and potentially tortured, 'promising' him a healthy sum of money should he be inconvenienced by his treatment in the game. Finally, I couldn't POSSIBLY ignore Daggett and Norbert TRYING to throw a WRENCH into my plans, which is why I made SURE that Zarbon would TARGET the BOTH of them, based on his FALSE notions of getting anywhere NEAR to fourth base with me!” Gonard reluctantly asks: “Don't you wish you had done ANYTHING different in this competition?” Bulma says: “Sure I do! I wish that I had Timmy Turner TORTURED more for how AWFUL his show had and has become! I wish I had told Zarbon and Taotie to make MORE fun of Fanboy and Super Chum's BLATANT homosexuality for each other! I wish that Taotie would have humiliated Kitty Katswell even WORSE before eliminating her! I constantly wish that Captain Retro wouldn't INTERFERE with MY game, like when he found out about Snaptrap's micro-chip on Reggie Rocket, FORCING the removal of Snaptrap from the game! I WISH that Haggis had HURT Treeflower even WORSE than he DID before HE got removed from the game! I wish that Twister had been even MORE obnoxious and oblivious than he was! I wish that Lil Deville got HURT even WORSE than she did when SHE fell out of the plane! I wish that Otto Rocket had been MORE nasty to Angelica Pickles when he dumped her for GOOD! I wish that Treeflower's misery of being SICK could have LASTED longer before she finally dropped out!” Gonard says: “That's NOT true!”

Reggie says: “That is SO despicable!” Bulma says: “Why couldn't it be true?! She means NOTHING to me! Nobody DOES! I wish that General Barracuda got hurt WORSE by Dib Bitters sabotaged recipe, and that Judy Funny suffered far WORSE injuries after getting thrown off by El Toro Loco! I WISH that Jenny Quackles had BROKEN Sway-Sway's PATHETIC little heart, instead of ACTUALLY falling in 'LOVE' with him! I wish that Spongebob would have gone COMPLETELY evil and knocked the living DAYLIGHTS out of his LOUSY cousin, Stanley! I wish that GUANO had been hurt even WORSE by Otto! I wish that Blonda had been MORE cut-throat, and had caused REAL damage to King Julien, instead of just emotional damage! I wish that koala had hurt Spongebob even WORSE than it did! I hoped that Skipper would ACCEPT defeat like a NORMAL contestant, instead of TRYING to come back TWICE in his PATHETIC attempt to TRY to win! And I wish that Tigress didn't suddenly become all 'moral,' and that she would actually TRY to MAIM Taotie BEFORE eliminating him!” Gonard asks: “So, you WISH that everybody who has EVER done your dirty deeds for you, would've done MORE to hurt those they eliminated?” Bulma replies: “Why should I CARE what happens to anyone ELSE?! I'm the ONLY one who has a CHANCE of winning this thing! Nobody else can come anywhere CLOSE to matching my genius! I have this little bet going on with everyone back in West City, that by the time I'm DONE completely RUINING their STUPID little game plans and SHATTERING their pathetic self-confidence, that every contestant that I wanted OFF in this competition, will have to seek YEARS of self-health therapy, just to get over the fact that I mentally CRUSHED them! Now, if you'll EXCUSE me, I have some jury votes to work over. I want to see if I can make it FREAKING unanimous that I WIN!!!!” /

Captain Retro turns off the Voice Recorder and says: “Well, there you have it. And as it turns out, Bulma; it's now YOUR word against YOUR word!” Bulma screams: “WHY COULDN'T I JUST LEARN TO KEEP MY BIG, GIGANTIC, FAT MOUTH SHUT?!!!” Captain Retro says: “Your words, not mine.” Bulma nervously says: “But you STILL can't vote me OFF! You'd NEVER see Dr. Gero for yourself!!!!” And she runs off into the Cargo Room area! Chameleon says: “After her!” And they all rush into the Cargo Room! In the Cargo Room, Bulma says: “Oh, Dr. GERO; I've brought Captain Retro's MASK for you!” And everyone STOPS as they see the giant, floating green head of Dr. Gero FLOAT in the air! Dr. Gero billows: “So, indeed you HAVE!!!! But WHY is it STILL on Captain Retro?!” Bulma says: “You just said that I had to BRING you Captain Retro's mask! You never SAID just HOW I should do it!” Dr. Gero loudly says: “So you TRICKED him into coming back here, didn't you?! Very resourceful!” Bulma says: “So it's time for YOU to uphold YOUR end of the bargain, if you don't MIND, sir!” Dr Gero shouts: “Not so fast! NOT SO FAST!!!! I'll have to wait until after I've given it a little thought! Go away and come back TOMORROW!” Bulma incredulously asks: “TOMORROW?! I NEED that Clean Slate NOW!!!! I've given you PLENTY of time already!” Dr. Gero angrily says: “Do NOT arouse the WRATH of the GREAT and POWERFUL Gero! I SAID, 'Come back TOMORROW!'” But none of them APPEAR to notice that Captain Retro is HEADING back TOWARDS a suspiciously GREEN curtain located in the Cargo Room! Bulma says: “If you were REALLY great and powerful, you'd keep your PROMISE to ME!” And Captain Retro PULLS the Green Curtain to REVEAL a tall, OLD, Sinister, fairly UGLY man! Dr. Gero, through a microphone and operating controls, says: “Do YOU presume to CRITICIZE the GREAT Gero?! You UNGRATEFUL creature, should think yourself LUCKY, that I'm giving you an audience TOMORROW, instead of TWENTY years from NOW!!!!” Dr. Gero looks back and says: “OH!!!!” Dr. Gero speaks into the microphone and says: “The GREAT Gero HAS spoken!” Dr. Gero panics and says: “OH!!!!” And he pulls the curtain shut! Dr. Gero shouts: “Pay no attention to the MAN behind the CURTAIN!!!! The GREATEST Gero has SPOKEN!!!!” Bulma pulls the curtain back, and she asks: “Who are you?!” Dr. Gero through the microphone, shouts: “I am the GREAT and POWERFUL--!” And Dr. Gero decides to drop the charade, and he plainly says: “Dr. Gero!”

Bulma angrily says: “You're a HUMBUG!!!!” Dr. Gero says: “So, the GREAT genius Bulma Briefs FINALLY catches on! Do you THINK I was helping you because I LIKED you?! I was just USING you to gather some HELPFUL information!” Suzie asks: “What information?!” Dr. Gero says: “Information that I will use to complete my GREATEST technological achievements, Cyborgs 17 and 18! Once I am done with them, Bulma Briefs, the world you live on as YOU know it shall CEASE to exist! Therefore, there will be no NEED for you to HAVE a Clean Slate anymore, as there will be NO ONE you PERSONALLY know of LEFT alive to CARE about your STUPID secret anymore!” Bulma gets shocked, and says: “But I only agreed to personally HELP you if you PROMISED to not SEND those Cyborgs AFTER my friends! CONTINUING to create those Cyborgs was NEVER part of our DEAL!!!!” Dr. Gero creepily says: “I ALTERED the deal! Be THANKFUL I have decided not to ALTER it any further! Does THAT ring a bell to YOU, Bulma Briefs? You should know, you SAID it YOURSELF!!!!”

Chameleon angrily says: “You'll NEVER get AWAY with this!” And he PUNCHES Dr. Gero, only to reveal that he is NOTHING more than a ROBOT made in Dr. Gero's IMAGE!!!! The Robot menacingly says: “You will NEVER find ME, BULMA; but I'll find YOU; and your PRECIOUS, bratty FRIENDS!!!!” And the Robot shuts down and breaks into pieces! Bulma suddenly breaks down and cries! Bulma screams: “NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Bulma cries tears, and she says: “It's all been a JOKE!!!! My entire RUN this season has been just a CRUEL, SICK Joke!” Skipper asks: “Do you HONESTLY think we're going to feel SORRY for you, after ALL the stuff that you put EVERYONE through this season?!” Bulma cries, and she says: “I didn't mean to do ANY of this! I didn't KNOW Dr. Gero was using me, I SWEAR!!!!” Reggie asks: “How am I supposed to believe THAT?! After what you TRIED to pull with me?!” Captain Retro says: “I know of one way; a milder form of 'Redemption Equals Death.' I was given many things when I came to this dimension; one of the things I was given WAS a Clean Slate! I can GIVE this to you, Bulma, so you can erase this embarrassing mistake that has consumed your life, but you HAVE to eliminate yourself; and you have to promise to start becoming a better, nicer person after you are eliminated! Then, and only THEN will I give you this Clean Slate!” Bulma says: “But if I erase my mistake, I would STILL have to come back to my home planet where everyone has SURELY seen what I have DONE this season! If I go back, then I would have to face my past! I've been running from it for SO long!” Skipper SLAPS Bulma with his flipper, and Bulma asks: “OW!!!! GEEZ! What was THAT for?!” Skipper says: “It doesn't matter! It's in the past!” Bulma rubs her face, and she says: “Yeah, but it STILL hurts!” Captain Retro says: “I know, the past CAN hurt! But you want to know what I've learned in life? You can either try and run FROM your past; or, learn from it!” And Captain Retro THROWS a punch, but Bulma ducks it! Captain Retro says: “You SEE?! So, what are you going to do?” Bulma says: “First, I'm going to TAKE your MASK!!!!” And Bulma SNATCES Captain Retro's mask, causing Captain Retro to drop the Clean Slate! Captain Retro covers his face and says: “No, no, NO!!!! Not my Mask!” Captain Retro puts his mask back on, and turns back around, as Bulma has grabbed her Clean Slate, AND a parachute! Captain Retro asks: “Where are YOU going?!” Bulma shouts: “I'm going BACK!!!!” And she JUMPS out of the plane! Captain Retro says: “GOOD!!!! Go on! Get out of here! YAHOO!!!!” Patrick says: “WOAH!!!! Bulma Briefs eliminated HERSELF?! I did NOT see that coming!” Fondue says: “I guess she really DIDN'T mean to do any of the things she did this season!”

General Barracuda says: “Well, she was STILL kind of a JERK anyways!” (Confessional) Captain Retro gulps, and he nervously says: “Kamehameha!!!!” And he tries to produce a ray of energy, but NOTHING comes out! Captain Retro says: “Oh NO!!!! My powers HAVE all left me! That means there is no more EVIL left on the plane! And that means, I'm down on level playing field with everyone ELSE! It's certainly not going to TAKE the other contestants that long to figure this out! I'm on borrowed time!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “And with that, it is all over! Bulma Briefs has left the plane, and we are down to the Final Six Contestants for this season! Any one of them has a chance to win up to $44.44 million, but one of them will STILL have to take the Drop of Shame before we get to the Final Five! Find out who it is on the next exciting episode of Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” /

Epilogue: A montage of scenes of Bulma speaking (which there are a LOT of); are juxtaposed to show Bulma getting more and more unnerved, and finally despairing, as a hit song, sung by Captain Retro, is performed during this montage! / Genre: Alternative Rock. Sub-genre: Funk Rock. Song: “Little Miss Can't Be Wrong” (Clean Version). Sung by: Captain Retro! / Captain Retro: “Been a whole lot easier since the witch left town. Been a whole lot happier without that face around. Nobody upstairs gonna stomp and shout, nobody out the back door gonna throw my laundry out. She holds the shotgun while you do-si-do. She want one man made of Hercules and Cyrano. Been a whole lot easier since the witch has gone. Little miss, Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong! Little miss, Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong; ain't nobody gonna bow no more when you sound your gong. Little miss, Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong! What you going to do, to get into another one of these here rock and roll songs? Other people's thoughts, they ain't your hand-me-downs. Would it be so bad to simply turn around? You know you cook so well, all nice and French. You do your brain surgery too; mama, with yer monkey wrench! It's been a whole lot easier since the witch has gone. Little miss, Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong! Little miss, Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong; ain't nobody gonna bow no more when you sound your gong. Little miss, Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong! What you going to do, to get into another one of these here rock and roll songs? (Guitar solo) I hope that attitude is gonna make you cough! I hope you heard this song and it ticked you off! I take that back; I hope you're doing fine! And if I had a dollar, I might give you ninety-nine. Little miss, Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong! Ain't nobody gonna bow no more when you sound your gong. Little miss, Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong! What you going to do, to get into another one of these here rock 'n' roll songs? OH! Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong; no, you can't be wrong! Little miss, Little miss, Little Miss can't be wrong! OH! Oh; oh, OH!!!!” / And the epic song ends. /

Episode Notes: Running gags in this episode, Bulma KEEPS asking herself why she can't just ever learn to JUST stop talking, and various people keep saying that Anti-Timmy NEEDS to be KILLED and needs to be KILLED with FIRE!!!! Fittingly enough, Anti-Timmy FINALLY meets his end in this episode, when he falls into a lava-filled volcano; or rather, Chameleon who transformed himself INTO one! The sequence is an affectionate reference to the theatrical climax of The Return of the King. Bulma's private conversation with Gonard from the episode “Baking Bad, and Good!”; is finally played in full in front of the remaining contestants, and it helps seal her fate with her elimination. The sequences with Dr. Gero are on homage to “The Wizard of Oz;” and just like in the movie, the facade is EXPOSED by the DOG who shows EVERYONE just what a SHAM the Wizard/Doctor TRULY is! Bulma Briefs, ironically, gets her Clean Slate from Captain Retro, in exchange for eliminating herself, and promising to become a better person once she becomes eliminated. With Bulma's elimination, not only has every single contestant from “Dragonball Z Kai now been eliminated; but Captain Retro, as a result, loses access to all of his powers. With no more evil on the plane, he no longer has any need for his powers. Skipper wins individual immunity for the first time this season! Featured songs in this episode: “Wanted Dead or Alive; Think for Yourself; Little Miss Can't Be Wrong;” and “Just Like Jesse James!” /

Personal Notes: Because I consider this episode to be the high point of this entire season, I wanted it to be something BIG that people would enjoy! That's one of the reasons that I didn't want to rush writing this thing! Ironically, one of the BEST parts of this episode wasn't even MY idea; I actually have to thank Hayden for coming up with the idea to have ALL the current contestants have a shot at Bulma Briefs; I think it really improved the episode a whole lot! One of the things that I wanted to do this season, that I didn't have a chance to do in my previous seasons, was to do a milder version of “Redemption Equals Death.” Because Bulma was never TRULY an evil person; but in the earlier seasons of “Dragonball Z,” BEFORE she gave birth to Trunks, she was an EXTREMELY bratty and EXTREMELY annoying person! And it always puzzled me as to WHY she became so much NICER after giving birth to Trunks! Writing this season was a way for me to answer my own question, as to WHY Bulma became a nicer person. After going through a rough ordeal in order to get something she wanted, it made her realize that her having such a bratty personality wasn't the way for her to live her life, which is why she became such a better person in the later seasons of “Dragonball Z.” / That's my episode idea for today!  Enough said!

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Wild Horses!

    It is the afternoon, and Pinkie, Usagi, Lettuce, and Toby are in gym class, practicing aerobatic stunts in the gymnasium. With her endless energy and boundless enthusiasm, Pinkie is leading the cheers! Pinkie says: “All right! Fellow students! Jump, leap, bounce, dance, twirl, spin, lunge, and pose!”

Toby looks over to Lettuce, and he asks: “Remind me, why did I agree to do this class with YOU again?!”

Lettuce rolls his eyes, and he says: “I TOLD you, this is a really good way to meet and impress girls! How do you think I got to be so close with Pinkie?”

Toby sarcastically says: “Wow, that's COOL! And by, 'Wow, that's cool;' I mean, 'Who CARES'?!!!”

Usagi seriously says: “I care about keeping in physical shape by doing these stunts; shame on YOU if you don't! Besides, if what BlackHawk says is true, there are much WORSE...'unlikable acquaintances' lurking in the galaxy who will put these skills to the test; we need to be prepared for them.”

Lettuce says: “You said it! Nobody is going to catch US off guard!”

The bell rings, indicating that the class has ended, and school is out of session! Pinkie says: “All right! Great work today! Let's remember where we were, and pick up the routine again from there tomorrow!”

The four of them prepare to exit the gymnasium, until they are stopped by BlackHawk and Smash Swallow. BlackHawk says: “All right then, you tell them what you told me.”

Smash sighs, and he says: “All right. I know we've had our differences in the past, but I could REALLY use the help of you, my closest friends. Do you know where I live?”

Usagi says: “As a matter of fact, I don't think that we do.”

Smash says: “Where, I live with my aunt and uncle on a ranch a few miles out of town; they are in REAL trouble right now!”

Pinkie asks: “Why is that?”

Smash says: “A massive flood just hit that ranch, and all our livestock just got loose! If we don't get our animals back in their proper places fast; my aunt and uncle will lose their livelihoods, and if they do, I could lose the one thing that I've ever been GOOD at; being a ranch hand! Please help me; I don't know who else to turn to.”

Toby says: “Smash, you can count on us! A friend in need, is a friend indeed!”

Usagi asks: “But what about our other friends?”

BlackHawk says: “Don't worry about it. Bash, Naruto, D.O.G., and Ebony already know about the situation. They're getting their things packed, and they will meet us there.”

Pinkie says: “But we can't ALL leave Coastal Falls! What about...that big 'THING' we promised to do?!”

BlackHawk smiles and he says: “Already thought of that!”

Woolbur walks in, and he says: “You have my word that in case any...unusual 'Situation' happens in Coastal Falls, Undyne and I will take care of it.”

BlackHawk says: “And if it's a REAL emergency, call us and I will most definitely come as soon as I can!”

Woolbur says: “Will do, BlackHawk!”

Pinkie asks: “Just one question; what is this 'Livestock' that you're speaking of?”

BlackHawk looks weirdly at his friends, and he asks: “Does she HONESTLY not KNOW?!”

Lettuce says: “I honestly thought she DID!”

Pinkie asks: “Come on! What are you talking about?!”

Usagi sighs and says: “Pinkie, you better come with me. I think it's best that we talk about this thing in 'Private'...ALONE; Toby!”

Toby sighs, and he says: “I understand, Usagi.”

Usagi and Pinkie walk outside, and BlackHawk says: “Oh, BOY!!!! This is going to get SO awkward!” /

Meanwhile, back on the Diabolic spaceship, Amazoness and Queen Hedrian are looking very WORRIED about their last few Hedrian eggs. Amazoness says: “It's not enough.”

Queen Hedrian asks: “Don't you think I'm AWARE of the situation?! Emperor Diabolica is already getting REALLY impatient enough with us as it is; and that's not even bringing up Khorne! He NEEDS the two of us to do the things we HAVE been doing in order to rain death and destruction on this PATHETIC little world! But if we continue to fail him the way we have...it will NOT be pretty!”

Amazoness says: “Perhaps we've been TOO lenient with the Power Rangers, in allowing them all these little victories! We need something far BIGGER than a monster if we are to secure our victory in this daunting crusade.”

Queen Hedrian eagerly asks: “You have a plan?!”

Amazoness says: “As a matter of fact, I do. As you are aware, the Rangers always use their Megazord at the end of the day to deliver the finishing blow. But what if I were to answer THEIR Megazord, with one of my own?”

Queen Hedrian asks: “You have your own Megazord?!”

Amazoness says: “Not right now, but soon! I've already asked all our loyal Dusters to gather up the materials necessary to complete my GREATEST weapon; and Circe and Kraky have agreed to supply all the magic we need to make my Megazord, ALL but unstoppable!”

Queen Hedrian asks: “And when, might I ask, can I expect this Megazord to be completed?”

Amazoness says: “It should be ready in a mere three days.”

Queen Hedrian says: “But all of my monsters might be DEAD by then!”

Amazoness says: “You won't NEED monsters once my Megazord gets done with the Rangers. Don't tell me you're still disappointed about your husband biting it? He was LAME, as far as evil DEMONS are concerned! You're better off without him!”

Queen Hedrian says: “I would feel much BETTER, knowing that I have someone to fall back on!”

Amazoness asks: “Are you going to use your magic to bring Banriki back to life?”

Queen Hedrian thinks about it, and says: “No; that would be a waste of perfectly good black magic. Perhaps, I should seek out a stronger, younger, more RUTHLESS space conqueror, to be my next husband! Fuhrer Saturn and Emperor Diabolica are BOTH perfectly good choices!”

Amazoness asks: “Suppose marriage isn't EXACTLY the most important thing on their minds?”

Queen Hedrian says: “That's where my knowledge of Drako's HERITAGE comes in handy! I happen to know that he shares the same D.N.A. As Finster, Rita's trusted monster maker! And Drako INHERITED all of Finster's knowledge when it came to black magic and sneaky tricks! And I know of a certain LOVE potion that Finster made, that not even Lord Zedd himself could hope to resist!”

Amazoness flashes a creepy smile, and she says: “That DOES sound like a sinister plan!”

Queen Hedrian chuckles, and she says: “Yes. By marrying the SHREW, I become the official co-ruler of a vast space empire; my idea has GREAT merit!”

Amazoness says: “And once the Rangers are gone, you can DROP Husband-in-law, and his faithful followers, OFF a cliff! SPLAT!!!! And THAT will end the short, undistinguished career of that PATHETIC Emperor Diabolica!”

Queen Hedrian says: “We must mobilize at once! Amazoness, get your Megazord ready, and prepare it for battle! And while you do, I will just send a monster to distract the Power Rangers from interfering with my marriage!”

Amazoness says: “Good idea! The last thing we need is the Power Rangers, coming in and mucking up things for us like they USUALLY do!”

Queen Hedrian looks at the few remaining eggs, and decides on one. Queen Hedrian says: “This one should do very nicely! Mustang Sally should be able to make animals that are normally civilized and domesticated, run wild! That will be PERFECT for distracting the Rangers from my more...nefarious plan of marriage!”

Amazoness asks: “Well, what are you waiting for? Hatch her already!”

Queen Hedrian does so, and a large, red, angry female anthropomorphic horse comes into being! She neighs, and says: “I am Mustang Sally, the most feared female horse villain of the seven core galaxies!”

Queen Hedrian says: “I know who YOU are; I hatched you! And you can start to prove yourself, by going to the Ranch of Smash Swallow, and make all the animals there run wild!”

Mustang Sally neighs, and says: “Your wish is my command, my evil Queen!”

And Mustang Sally disappears in a ball of fire! Queen Hedrian says: “Now that the Rangers will be too busy dealing with Mustang Sally, it's time to put the second part of my plan in motion.”

Amazoness says: “And I will supervise the construction of my Megazord! We will leave NOTHING to chance THIS time around!” /

Meanwhile in a separate part of the Diabolic spaceship, Baphomet seems to be pleading with Emperor Diabolica for something! Baphomet asks: “But why, my Emperor? Why won't you let me fight a battle on Core Earth against the Power Rangers?”

Emperor Diabolic says: “You're too important to me! I can't afford to lose one of my best warriors! Who do you think I am, Queen Hedrian?!”

Vipera files her nails, and she says: “I'm starting to wonder. Your track record is almost as bad as the one SHE has!”

Emperor Diabolic ANGRILY fires eye lasers at her fingernail file, and disintegrates it into nothingness! Vipera groans and asks: “Now why did you do THAT for? That was my favorite fingernail filer!”

Emperor Diabolic angrily says: “That was a WARNING to not talk SMACK about me! You KNOW that you CAN be replaced if I really FEEL like replacing you if you're not careful! I was just thinking about this villain named Professor Bias, who fought against the Power Rangers Life Force; he would be a GREAT villain to bring an end to these Power Brats!”

Kraky says: “Forget it, I already called him. He says that he's busy trying to figure out the Anti-Life Equation, and he will be too busy doing research for the next twenty years; IF he's lucky!”

Circe asks: “Why are we even wasting our time on this backwater planet? Let's just FORGET about it! We've got tons of other planets that we've already conquered that we can use and abuse to our liking!”

Emperor Diabolica asks: “WHY can't we do that?! I'll tell you why we can't do that! Omnus is ON that planet! He INSULTS my very EXISTENCE, simply by being alive! And you know that I don't TOLERATE beings who INSULT my existence!”

Fuhrer Saturn floats in, and in a German accent, he says: “You're thinking much too SMALL about this! Why don't you come up with a disease that KILLS all but the NOBLEST of the proud, blonde haired, blue eyed, ARYAN race?! Only THOSE people are WORTHY of worshiping us, anyways!”

Vipera rolls her eyes, and says: “We are NOT desperate enough to try a plan that Dark Kaiser already TRIED and FAILED to do ONCE, you rip-off clone of Adolf Hitler!”

Fuhrer Saturn angrily says: “I am NOT a clone of Adolf Hitler! I mean, if I WAS a clone of Adolf Hitler, wouldn't I LOOK like Adolf FREAKING Hitler?!”

Lightning Galaxy says: “He HAS a point, there!”

A creepy, eerie voice says: “I think you should let Baphomet GO!!!!”

Emperor Diabolica says: “KHORNE!!!! You're talking to ME, again?!” /

Unbeknownst to Emperor Diabolica, the voice he BELIEVES belongs to Khorne, actually belongs to the voice of what might be the most FEARED Vyram, Alien Conqueror in the ENTIRE Universe; the DREADED Radiguet of Vyram Six! Radiguet says: “A TRUE warrior is only as GOOD as the number of BATTLES that has been FOUGHT by HIM; and Baphomet hasn't done his fair share of WORK around there, has HE?! It's TIME that he pulled his WEIGHT around there, and SHOW you just how NASTY he can be! BESIDES, if he DECIDES to FAIL you, then you can ALWAYS punish him by, taking away his WINGS!!!!” /

Emperor Diabolica flashes a CREEPY smile, and he says: “Baphomet, it looks like KHORNE has taken a LIKING to you! He WANTS you to fight against the Power BRATS!!!!”

Baphomet says: “Thank you sir! I appreciate this, sir! I won't let you down!”

Emperor Diabolica says: “See to it, that you don't! I would HATE to have to take those useful WINGS of yours, away!”

Baphomet says: “The Rangers won't know what HIT them!”

And Baphomet vanishes off of the Diabolic spaceship. Emperor Diabolica says: “Omnus is totally unprepared to deal with the LIKES of Khorne! His endless advice is what will give me the inevitable edge to conquering that PATHETIC Core Earth planet, once and for all!” /

On board his own spaceship, the Vyram 666,000 (so named to mark the number of ALL the Galaxies Radiguet has either conquered or destroyed just for FUN), Radiguet just laughs to himself! Radiguet says: “YOU; being able to conquer Core Earth?! Not going to happen as long as I'M around! And since I can keep myself alive by EATING the souls of OTHERS, I plan on being alive; FOREVER!!!!”

A large, metallic being come in, and in a monotone voice, sarcastically says: “That sounds GREAT; especially since there are no POSSIBLE downsides to living FOREVER!”

Radiguet says: “My loyal robot servant, Gray; why do you choose to talk to me right now?”

Gray says: “While I'm as OFFENDED as I can possibly be that the only name you've bothered to GIVE me is the very color of my metallic body; I do have to wonder, why are you leading those worthless fools ON the way that you are?”

Radiguet says: “Simple, my simple-minded servant. If you want to be a TRUE master of evil VILLAINY; it's not enough to be EVIL on a COSMIC scale, you have to be evil on all the LITTLE details, to! Giving those MORONS a sense of FALSE HOPE, just to SMASH it into NOTHINGNESS, is just SO more satisfying to me than just WATCHING them mess up, ALL on their own! Besides, this actually AMUSES me! You'd be AMUSED to, if you ever TRIED it once in a while!”

Gray rolls his metallic eyes, and sarcastically says: “I'll alert the REST of the Vyram crew that you're having another one of 'those' days.”

Radiguet seriously says: “And while I can TELL that remark was sarcastic, you'd better see to it that you DO! I don't want to have to DESTROY you, wipe your memory bank, and build you back up again from SCRATCH, AGAIN!!!! I want to actually ENJOY watching the last four weeks of Queen Hedrian's life!”

Gray sighs and says: “Yes, sire!” /

In the Command Center, Pinkie yells: “Livestock are WHAT?!!!”

Alpha Eight asks: “Why did you bring her HERE, Usagi?!”

Usagi honestly says: “It was the most private, most secure place I could THINK of!”

Pinkie says: “You're telling me that there are animals, LIKE ME, that are kept in ranches, like SMASH'S, and they are used to PLOW fields, help RAISE barns, herd OTHER animals, provide milk, eggs, and OTHER such food, and they don't even get PAID to DO so?!”

Omnus sighs and says: “They AREN'T those types of ANIMALS!”

Pinkie says: “Do you mean to tell me that YOU think that ANIMALS don't have any types of FEELINGS?!”

Omnus seriously says: “Absolutely NOT! Of COURSE animals have feelings! But these animals just aren't BUILT the same way you, D.O.G., Woolbur, Lettuce, and BlackHawk are!”

Pinkie says: “So WE'RE special, and every other animal ISN'T?!”

Omnus says: “Of COURSE not! It's just...I don't know how else I can EXPLAIN it to you!”

Usagi raises her hand and says: “Let ME try! You know how BlackHawk lets D.O.G. LIVE with him, right?”

Pinkie says: “Of course.”

Usagi says: “BlackHawk gives D.O.G. A place to live, as well as feeds him and helps him get his exercise; and BlackHawk asks nothing in return except for his friendship. Do you follow me so far?”

Pinkie says: “I follow.”

Usagi says: “Well, Smash's situation is a lot like BlackHawk's, only with a BUNCH of animals instead of just one! You wouldn't IGNORE D.O.G. IF, he was in trouble, would you?”

Pinkie shakes her head and says: “Of course not.”

Usagi says: “Well right now, all of Smash's animal companions are in TROUBLE, and right now, ALL of those animals could use OUR help to restore their home to normal!”

Pinkie jumps up excitedly and says: “Sounds fun! I'll see you there!”

And Pinkie vanishes away! Alpha Eight asks: “How did you manage to do THAT; Usagi?!”

Usagi says: “It's easier when you know HOW to speak on Pinkie Pie's level; certified cloud cuckoolander level CRAZY!”

Alpha Eight sighs, and says: “If Pinkie Pie could only comprehend the necessary truth of what happens to SOME livestock animals, I don't think she would be willing to HELP Smash out.”

Usagi sighs and says: “It can't be helped. As Rangers, we can't ignore a call for help, even if it clashes against a personal belief of ours. But I don't think Pinkie can comprehend the necessity for being able to do that sort of thing. As long as THAT explanation makes her happy, why rain on her parade?”

Omnus says: “That's perfectly understandable. And you know the drill about what to do in case Queen Hedrian tries to make your job more difficult.”

Usagi says: “We always do, Omnus!”

Omnus says: “Then go, and may the power protect you.”

And Usagi vanishes out of there! /

Back on the Diabolic Spaceship, Drako is going through a book of old monster ideas; a scrapbook, given to him by his dad, Finster. As Drako goes through the pages, he wonders to himself: “A giant bee monster? No, I might be allergic to bee stings. A spider monster? No, that's FOUR too many LEGS to worry about! A fierce bird monster?! I'll save THAT one as a maybe!”

Queen Hedrian shouts: “DRAKO!!!!”

Drako quickly closes his book and says: “I wasn't doing anything!”

Queen Hedrian says: “Even if you WERE; I wouldn't CARE about it either way! Right now, I could use some HELP of yours!”

Drako says: “Well, that depends. What KIND of help are you talking about?”

Queen Hedrian says: “I've been keeping tabs on you; and the fact of the matter is, I KNOW that you are the biological son of FINSTER! He was once Rita's most loyal servant and master MONSTER maker! I'm SURE you know all about his handiwork!”

Drako smiles, and he says: “Aren't YOU the clever one?! Even Emperor Diabolica, doesn't KNOW about my connection to Finster yet!”

Queen Hedrian says: “Well, if you DON'T want Emperor Diabolica to find OUT about this potentially DAMAGING information, I think you would be wise to consider my offer.”

Drako says: “As long as it doesn't involve any sort of sinister PLOT to HARM Emperor Diabolica in any way; than I am fine with that!”

Queen Hedrian says: “Don't worry, it's nothing like THAT; it's no big DEAL, really!”

Drako says: “I'm listening.”

Queen Hedrian says: “You know that LOVE Potion Finster used to make Lord Zedd fall in love with Rita?”

Drako says: “Love Potion Number Nine; I AM familiar with how POTENT it is!”

Queen Hedrian says: “Then here is what I want you to do; I want you to make that Love Potion, so that I can make either Fuhrer Saturn, OR Emperor Diabolica fall DESPERATELY in love with me!”

Drako THINKS about it, and says: “Well, I WILL do it; but only under the ABSOLUTE condition that you won't HARM Emperor Diabolica in any way!”

Queen Hedrian rolls her eyes in exasperation, and she says: “All right, I promise I won't!”

Drako seriously says: “I need an UNBREAKABLE vow PROMISE!!!! You KNOW what happens if you BREAK an unbreakable VOW promise; don't you?!”

Queen Hedrian can TELL Drako is being serious, but not wanting to back away from her plan now, she just nods, gulps, and nervously says: “I'd die! Very well, recite the incantation!”

Drako grabs Queen Hedrian's out-stretched arm, and begins infusing a surge of black magic into Queen Hedrian! Drako says: “Spiders, snakes, and lizard heads!”

Queen Hedrian repeats: “Spiders, snakes, and lizard heads!”

Drako says: “If I BREAK this unbreakable vow; I'll DIE until I'm DEAD!”

Queen Hedrian repeats: “If I break this unbreakable vow; I'll die until I'm dead!”

The infusion finishes, and Drako says: “Now that you are bound to the vow, I will make the Love Potion for you. But I should warn you, the Love Potion will not WORK on Fuhrer Saturn. He sold his soul to Satan, Master of Queen Bandora, long ago, and is therefore immune to being able to have his feelings manipulated through any means.”

Queen Hedrian sighs and says: “Well, that can't be helped. I guess I'll just have to settle for Emperor Diabolica. A space conqueror is a space conqueror, no matter HOW bad his track record is!”

Queen Hedrian walks away, and Drako says: “I'll call you as soon as the Love Potion is READY!” /

In a large, black van, Ebony is driving her fellow Rangers and friends towards Smash's Ranch. Naruto says: “Wow, Ebony, it's so COOL that your parents let you borrow this van to carry all of us!”

Ebony says: “My parents mostly travel by magical means; they RARELY ever get to use THIS van! They only need it in case of a massive magical animal out-break or something like that.”

Bash says: “It must be COOL being able to use magic to SOLVE everything!”

Ebony rolls her eyes and says: “TRUST me; magic often causes just as much trouble as it can solve!”

Smash says: “At least ONE of us is enjoying this thing!”

And Smash points to D.O.G., who is sticking his head out of an open, rolled down window.

D.O.G., speaking against the wind, says: “I LOVE the feel of the open wind against my fur! The bright warm sun; the smells of open nature, watching all the sights go past us!”

Toby says: “I think you missed your calling; you should have been BORN a ranch dog!”

D.O.G., says: “I might consider that in case I ever...TROUBLE!!!!”

Usagi asks: “What trou--?”

But Usagi doesn't get to finish her thought because a blast of eye lasers comes from behind, and Ebony has to quickly SWERVE off the road in order to avoid it, narrowly MISSING Sans who is wearing a cowboy hat! BlackHawk asks: “SANS!!!! What are YOU doing here?!”

Sans says: “This is my job for today. I decided to make some extra money helping Smash's folks fix this place up. But I don't recall them EVER hiring THIS hot-headed horse!”

Mustang Sally neighs and says: “That's because I'm no mere horse, you FOOLS!!!! I am Mustang Sally, and I am the WORST nightmare you mortals will EVER lay EYES on!”

BlackHawk simply rolls his eyes and says: “Trust me, LADY, if I can even CALL you THAT, you have NO idea what MY nightmares are like!”

Mustang Sally cries: “Imp soldiers, RIDE into battle!”

And a bunch of Imps wearing cowboy hats appear, RIDING on Duster styled horses! Smash says: “So you want an old-fashioned showdown?! Far be it from ME to turn you down!”

BlackHawk seriously says: “Smash, this is NOT one of the times where it's a good idea for you to show OFF your riding skills!”

Smash seriously says: “I NEED to do this! For the PINK Ranger, my ONE and only love!”

Sans rolls his eyes and says: “PLEASE! The Pink Ranger doesn't even know you EXIST, let alone that you LOVE her!”

Pinkie says: “You shouldn't make BROAD assumptions like that!”

Usagi, in a sing-song voice says: “Not NOW, PINKIE; we have to deal with the big bad IMPS!!!!”

Smash whistles, and a strong stallion (bearing a STRIKING resemblance to a certain video game equine) comes galloping to Smash! Smash says: “Come on, Epona! We've got some Imps to lasso! BlackHawk, you help your friends take these Imps down once they're flat on the ground!”

BlackHawk sighs and says: “I can't talk him out of this. We'll just have to use our OWN skills, this time!”

Naruto says: “No problem! I could USE a real challenge!” /

While Bash, Smash, and Sans, ride on horses and trip the Imps OUT of their Duster horses, the non-morphed Rangers and D.O.G., use their various athletic skills to take the Imps out of commission; all to the tune of a famous Wilson Pickett hit song. /

“Mustang Sally, think you better slow your mustang down. Mustang Sally, think you better slow your mustang down. You been running all over the town now. Oh! I guess I'll have to put your flat feet on the ground. All you want to do is ride around Sally, ride, Sally, ride. All you want to do is ride around Sally, ride, Sally, ride. All you want to do is ride around Sally, ride, Sally, ride. One of these early mornings, oh, you gonna be wiping your weeping eyes. I bought you a brand new mustang 'bout nineteen sixty five. Now you come around signifying a woman, you don't wanna let me ride. Mustang Sally, think you better slow your mustang down. You been running all over the town now. Oh! I guess I'll have to put your flat feet on the ground. All you want to do is ride around Sally, ride, Sally, ride. All you want to do is ride around Sally, ride, Sally, ride. All you want to do is ride around Sally, ride, Sally, ride.”

And the hit song ends as all the Imps are put out of the commission! Pinkie genuinely says: “WOW!!!! That was some really good ROPING Smash; thank you!”

Smash says: “Don't thank ME; thank ten years of rope-training in Salinas, California!”

Mustang Sally neighs and says: “No problem! That was just a warm-up act, anyways! Let's see how I like it when I make your animals go WILD and CRAZY!!!!”

And with her eyes, she begins laser ZAPPING every single animal she can set her sights on, and they DO begin to act WILD and CRAZY!!!! Mustang Sally neighs, and says: “What will it BE? Saving your PRECIOUS animals; or will you TRY to take me on?!”

Sans says: “Bash, Smash, D.O.G., I'm afraid we can't help here! We'll have to deal with the animals! YOU guys go get the Rangers so they can take care of this CREEP!” And Sans discretely WINKS at the Rangers!

BlackHawk winks back at Sans, and BlackHawk says: “Can do, my friend!”

And the four of them quickly run after the currently savage animals! Mustang Sally asks: “What's the matter? Don't want your FRIENDS to witness your gruesome demise?!”

Naruto says: “You made a BAD mistake making our friends go after those animals! Now that they're not around; there's nothing to stop us from utilizing our FULL potential! It's MORPHING time!” /

BlackHawk says: “Spinosaurus!” / Ebony says: “Velociraptor!” / Toby says: “Stegosaurus!” / Pinkie says: “Ankylosaurus!” / Lettuce says: “Triceratops!” / Usagi says: “Hadrasaurus!” / Naruto says: “Tyrannosaurus!” / The Morphed Rangers simultaneously say: “Power Rangers!”

Mustang Sally sarcastically says: “What BRIGHTLY colored COSTUMES! I'm SO scared!”

Ebony says: “You SHOULD be! Let's use our Power Weapons against this EVIL Mare!”

Pinkie confusedly asks: “Nightmare Moon is causing trouble again?”

Usagi clarifies, and says: “Ebony was REFERRING to Mustang Sally!”

Pinkie says: “Thanks! Just making sure!”

Mustang Sally concentrates, and FORMS a blade made of SOLID flame out of her red mane! Mustang Sally neighs, and she says: “If you think those Power Weapons will bring ME down, you're sadly mistaken! I won't go EASY on you like those OTHER monsters DID! Zero Girls and Baphomet, ASSIST!”

And Baphomet and the four Zero Girls appear to help Mustang Sally in battle! Naruto says: “I had a FEELING we would be seeing these bad guys again!”

BlackHawk says: “AGAIN?! Why didn't you TELL me you were fighting against the minions of the Black Magma EMPIRE?! Specifically, Fuhrer Saturn's forces who fought against the Power Rangers Solar Force!”

Ebony says: “It's not MY fault! I honestly thought they were Queen Hedrian's creeps!”

BlackHawk says: “They might be uneasy allies with her, but they are well-known for being able to SWITCH loyalties when things start to look potentially BAD for them!”

Zero Girl 01 says: “Bring on the thunder! Now that I know what you're CAPABLE of, I won't go EASY on you THIS time!”

Baphomet says: “It's time I ended this POINTLESS struggle once and for all! I will claim all the great rewards from the Blood God that I deserve, and become a full-fledged DEMON!!!!”

BlackHawk says: “I'll take LOSER; you guys take on Mustang Sally and the other Zero Girls and I can take mental notes on how they fight!”

The other Rangers say: “Right!”

And BlackHawk pushes Baphomet AWAY from the main fight, so that he CAN'T interfere with what they're doing! Baphomet says: “You REALLY think your FRIENDS can deal with those PSYCHOTIC Rangers on they're own?! You know full-well that they're HOLDING BACK!!!! If Queen Hedrian KNEW the Zero Girls were STRONGER than SHE is, she'd try to STEAL their power for HERSELF!!!!”

BlackHawk says: “Well, while that may be true, it doesn't matter! We won't let ANYTHING stop us from saving Core Earth from the likes of YOU!!!!”

Baphomet draws his sword, and he says: “You're WRONG, BlackHawk! I am DESTINED to DESTROY all of you!”

BlackHawk draws his Electric Saber, and he seriously says: “Do you have ANY idea of the types of Bad Guys I fought as a Woo Foo Warrior, BEFORE I even GAINED any Ranger Powers?! By comparison, you wouldn't even rank in the top TWENTY of bad guys I've fought!”

Baphomet says: “Enough of your BLUFFING!!!! Now see the strength of a TRUE, POWERFUL Tauran!”

BlackHawk sighs, and says: “Well, I TRIED to WARN you!!!!”

The two fierce Warriors begin clashing swords with each other, slashing towards each other with a fierce display of passion and determination, rarely seen in battles, even among those common in the fights of the Power Rangers! Baphomet says: “Even if you COULD defeat me, do you think you are a MATCH for Emperor Diabolica?! The power of all of our Blood Beasts COMBINED, would only be one-tenth of the TRUE strength, that Emperor Diabolica is known to possess!”

BlackHawk says: “Why don't you let US be the judge of that; and let us fight Emperor Diabolica OURSELVES?! That is of course, once Emperor Diabolica is FINALLY ready to stop PLAYING these STUPID games and get SERIOUS about this matter, ONCE and for ALL?!”

Baphomet angrily says: “My Emperor NEVER plays GAMES!!!!”

BlackHawk says: “Electric STRIKE!!!!”

And with a surge of LIGHTNING, BlackHawk puts the PAIN into Baphomet! Baphomet SCREAMS: “AHHH!!!! This can't be HAPPENING!!!! Such POWER; coming from a POWER Ranger?!” /

On the Diabolic, Fuhrer Saturn asks: “Galaxy Lightning, what is the power level reading on BlackHawk?!”

Galaxy Lightning checks her scanner. She gulps, and she nervously says: “The power level reading says...16,000!!!! And if what BlackHawk says is TRUE; he's not even FIGHTING seriously, and he is already, WAY out of Baphomet's LEAGUE!!!!”

Fuhrer Saturn sighs and says: “Surely the great Galaxy Lightning, is not SCARED of a mere mortal such as BlackHawk? Why, I'm sure that BlackHawk would be NOTHING for you if YOU and Amazoness were to put your combined skills together!”

Galaxy Lightning, unsure, but wanting to put Fuhrer Saturn at ease, she just nervously says: “Of course! SURE! Absolutely! No problem whatsoever!”

Fuhrer Saturn says: “I've read up on the progress of these Rangers. They've come a LONG way in the few short months that Emperor Diabolica has FOUGHT these creeps! Still, they would have to be pretty FOOLISH, if they think they could stand a chance against ME! Emperor Diabolica may be willing to take his chances against the Power Rangers, but I won't! When it suits me, I will go into battle against the Rangers MYSELF!!!! Then, and ONLY then, will the Rangers realize what TRUE power IS!!!!”

Galaxy Lightning returns her gaze to the fight down below, and she says: “I just hope we all LIVE long enough to see that day OCCUR!” /

BlackHawk slashes at Baphomet right and left, causing painful sparks of fire to come SHOOTING out of Baphomet's body! Already weakened by the blows, Baphomet's attempts to block BlackHawk's attacks are fruitless! When it gets to the point where Baphomet can't even stand, Baphomet says: “STOP!!!! No more! Please! I surrender!”

BlackHawk says: “If I had a dollar, for EVERY villain who begged for forgiveness after getting beaten...”

Baphomet says: “I mean it; PLEASE! If you spare me, I promise that I'll NEVER attack you again as long as Emperor Diabolica is in charge of the Diabolic!”

BlackHawk sighs, and sheathes his sword. BlackHawk says: “Very well, I'll let you LIVE, THIS time! But trust me; if you go back on your WORD on this, I won't even give you a CHANCE to BLEED next time!”

Baphomet says: “I will NOT forget your words of wisdom! You can count on that!”

And Baphomet disappears! /

Baphomet reappears on the Diabolic. Vipera has got a NEW fingernail filer, and she sarcastically says: “Hail the CONQUERING villain!”

Baphomet wearily says: “I'm alive! I can't BELIEVE BlackHawk almost BEAT me!”

Emperor Diabolica GRABS Baphomet by the neck, and the Emperor angrily says: “That is NOTHING compared to what I can DO to YOU!!!! I'm VERY disappointed in you! I commanded you to ALWAYS be LOYAL to me; you have NOT done so! I ORDERED you to FIGHT and you RAN!!!!”

Baphomet gasps, and he says: “I HAD to RUN!!!! I was getting THRASHED!!!! I had to get--!”

Emperor Diabolica angrily interrupts: “I don't want EXCUSES; BAPHOMET!!!! I'm afraid you've GONE and FAILED me!”

Emperor Diabolica flashes a truly SINISTER evil smile, and he says: “And you KNOW what I'm going to DO now that you've FAILED me!”

Emperor Diabolica's shadow COMPLETELY covers up Baphomet, and off-screen, Baphomet yells: “Not the wings! NOT the WINGS!!!! ANYTHING BUT THE WINGS!!!!”

And with only the action of a shadow to SEE, the implied action of Emperor Diabolica RIPPING off Baphomet's valuable wings, causes even the normally steadfast VIPERA to FLINCH and recoil in nervousness! Vipera nervously says: “Oh, boy! That's going to leave a nasty MARK on Baphomet!!!!” /

Meanwhile, the Rangers continue their fight against the Zero Girls and Mustang Sally. Despite having fought the Rangers before, the Zero Girls find their re-match against the Power Rangers to not be any EASIER, in SPITE of their knowledge!!!! Toby says: “I think it's time we sent these bad girls PACKING! Let us use the power of the Thunderslingers!”

The other Rangers say: “Right! Thunderslingers, POWER up!!!!”

And with powerful bursts of energy, the Rangers BRING the Zero Girls down! Zero Girl 02 says: “Sorry, Mustang Sally, the Zero Girls are clocking out of this fight!”

Zero Girl 03 says: “Take the Rangers out for us!”

Zero Girl 04 says: “Do it with EXTREME prejudice!”

And the Zero Girl's disappear! Mustang Sally neighs, and says: “It's going to take a lot more than THOSE to bring ME down!”

BlackHawk re-joins the other Rangers, and he says: “That's why I say it's time to bring on the fire-power! Rangers, take out your power weapons! It's time to show this equine who's BOSS!!!!”

Pinkie says: “I thought Mustang Sally was a horse!”

Lettuce says: “She is; equine is just another WORD for horse!”

Pinkie says: “I did not KNOW that! Let's do this!”

The other Rangers say: “RIGHT!” /

Toby says: “Water Ax and Thunderslinger!” / Pinkie says: “Diamond Boomerang and Thunderslinger!” / Usagi says: “Wind Staff and Thunderslinger!” / Lettuce says: “Earth Mace and Thunderslinger!” / Naruto says: “Flame Sword and Thunderslinger!” / Ebony says: “Shadow Daggers!” / BlackHawk says: “Electric Saber!” / The Rangers simultaneously say: “Ultra Power Blaster Cannon, FIRE!!!!”

And with just ONE powerful shot of energy, they KNOCK Mustang Sally FLAT on the GROUND!!!! /

On the Diabolic, Kraky nervously says: “Don't quit on us NOW; Mustang Sally!”

Circe says: “Yeah! Now is the time to resort to your TRUE strength and GROW!!!!” /

Mustang Sally wearily says: “Now is the time to show you my FULL power!!!!”

And Mustang Sally grows to humungous, giant size! Mustang Sally says: “I'm back, and I am larger than LIFE, itself!”

Usagi says: “I think the time has come for US to step up our game!”

Naruto says: “You're right! We need Dinozord power NOW!!!!” /

Six Rangers summon their Zords normally, while Ebony plays her guitar to summon the Velociraptor Zord! The Rangers get into their Zords, and Toby says: “BlackHawk, think you can distract Mustang Sally while we form the Velociraptor Multi-Megazord?”

BlackHawk says: “Can do, Lettuce!”

And firing a bunch of torpedoes and missiles, BlackHawk EASILY keeps Mustang Sally at bay while the Velociraptor Multi-Megazord forms!

In the cockpit, Toby says: “All right, it's time to call upon the Power Sword!”

And the Power Sword electronically appears in the hands of the Multi-Megazord! Mustang Sally neighs, and she says: “That's NOT a SWORD; THIS is a sword!”

And Mustang Sally ONCE again pulls a flaming sword out of her red-hot mane, and the Multi-Megazord begins to SLASH at Mustang Sally! But her rugged hide proves to be TOO tough to slice INTO, and the Power Sword just bounces RIGHT off! Mustang Sally says: “I told you I was made out of STRONGER stuff! Take THIS!!!!”

Pinkie says: “Ankylo SHIELD!!!!” And while the blow is deflected by the shield, the Flaming Sword is NOT affected by the deflected blow!

Ebony asks: “What are we going to do? The Power Sword isn't enough!”

Naruto says: “I've got an idea! Channel all our energy into a V-Blast, aim it at the Power Sword, and we'll use the Super Power Sword to beat Mustang Sally!”

Pinkie says: “That's a Pinkie keen idea if I know my Pinkie keen ideas!”

The Rangers simultaneously say: “V-Blast ATTACK!!!!”

Mustang Sally says: “Parlor Tricks!”

But then she SEES the Rangers focusing the V-Blast Attack into their Power Sword, and she asks: “WHAT?!”

The Rangers simultaneously say: “Super Power Sword; Full Moon CUT!!!!”

And with the power of the moon behind them; Mustang Sally is DEALT a fatal blow!!!! Mustang Sally neighs, and she says: “Queen Hedrian; I'm heading for the last round-up!”

And she falls down and EXPLODES into nothingness! BlackHawk says: “Power Rangers, that was a super-powerful win!” /

On the Diabolic, Drako sings: “Queen Hedrian, your Love Potion is READY!!!!”

Queen Hedrian sighs and says: “It's about time, to! Another perfectly good monster has just gone to WASTE down there!”

Amazoness mutters as she puts a bust of Mustang Sally on the shelf, along with all the other fallen monsters to date! Amazoness says: “I'll be GLAD once my Megazord is done! We're going to run out of ROOM to put all the monster busts unless we do something DRASTIC, soon!”

Queen Hedrian says: “Don't worry about it! One sip of this potion, and Emperor Diabolica, will be all mine! I've just got to make SURE he drinks it!”

Fuhrer Saturn floats in, and in a German accent, he says: “Why don't you simply slip it into his red Blood Punch?”

Drako asks: “Red Blood Punch?”

Fuhrer Saturn says: “It's a daily evening ritual. With every dinner meal, Emperor Diabolica won't eat anything unless he gets some Red Blood Punch in his diet. I've heard he has a VERY sensitive digestive system! Of course, I have no way of knowing if THAT last part is true! That's just what I've heard!”

Queen Hedrian goes off and searches for Emperor Diabolica's goblet, and Queen Hedrian says: “I could care LESS about what his dietary needs are; that is NOT my concern! All I care about is getting a new husband! That's MY biggest priority!”

Fuhrer Saturn groans, and he says: “You are SUCH a seductress!”

Queen Hedrian angrily says: “I am NOT a SEDUCTRESS! Don't confuse me with my SISTER!!!!”

Fuhrer Saturn sighs, and he says: “So SUE me! It was just a PERSONAL opinion, ANYWAYS!!!!”

Queen Hedrian finally finds the Goblet, and she says: “Here it is! Sweet love of mine, soon we will be together FOREVER; until DEATH do we part! Metaphorically speaking, of course!”

Drako says: “Of course!”

And Queen Hedrian POURS the Love Potion into the Goblet, then pours the red Blood Punch OVER the Love Potion, masking the TRUE scent and flavor! /

Emperor Diabolica groans and he says: “Why do you CONSTANTLY provide me with such an IRRITATING abundance of failures and HEADACHES?!!! I never thought I'd LIVE to see the day when I would have to take Baphomet's wings away!”

Baphomet groans, as there are now two GIANT band-aids, over the gaping SCAR left behind by his now, ERSATZ wings! Baphomet cries and he says: “My POOR wings!!!! I'll NEVER fly again!”

Emperor Diabolica says: “I'd be more angry about this, but it's time for dinner!”

Queen Hedrian says: “And it's TIME to let ME serve you! I've got your red Blood Punch, just for you, my powerful Emperor!”

Emperor Diabolica chuckles evilly, and he says: “At least SOMEONE here knows how to do SOMETHING right! Very well then, let us drink a toast, and let this be the LAST day of failure that the Tauran Empire shall EVER know! Bottoms up!”

And Emperor Diabolica DOWNS his goblet in one solid gulp! Queen Hedrian says: “Bottoms UP!!!!”

As soon as Emperor Diabolica finishes his drink, he puts his chalice down, and he says: “What's going on? Everything seems so, SWIRLY!!!!”

Queen Hedrian asks: “My Emperor. Are you all right?”

Emperor Diabolica regains his composure, and he says: “As a matter of fact, things have never looked...LOVELIER!!!!”

Vipera just stands there, mouth agape, and she says: “EXCUSE me?!”

Emperor Diabolica goes up to Queen Hedrian, and he says: “I've never realized just how...incredibly PRETTY you are!”

Queen Hedrian seductively asks: “Really?! Well, why don't you tell me more about...myself?”

Emperor Diabolica says: “You're young, charming, skinny, radiant, humble, lovable, with a most cuddly body to match your WONDERFUL personality!”

Queen Hedrian THINKS about it, and she says: “Young, charming, skinny, radiant, humble, skinny, lovable, cuddly, skinny, wonderful personality...did I mention that I'm SKINNY?!!!”

Emperor Diabolica asks: “What is a vast, wonderful space Empire, without an EQUALLY wonderful woman by my side?! I REFUSE to be alone for the rest of my life any longer! Drako, make some wedding plans! I want to show this woman a marriage she will NEVER forget!”

Queen Hedrian excitedly asks: “MARRIAGE?!!!”

Emperor Diabolica says: “In five days, I want you, the most PERFECT woman in the universe, to be the PERFECT bride for the most PERFECT space Emperor! What is your answer to that?!”

Queen Hedrian excitedly says: “Yes, yes, YES, a thousand times YES!!!!”

Emperor Diabolica says: “PERFECT!!!! With YOU as my WIFE, I know we will accomplish MANY great things together!”

Drako chuckles, and he says to himself: “And with Queen Hedrian BOUND by my magical vow, she will have no choice BUT to make sure she doesn't HARM you!” /

Back at Smash's Ranch, Bash, Smash, Sans, and D.O.G., finish rounding up the last of the animals, and repair all the damage caused by the Flash Flood, AND the Evil Monsters!Smash says: “You guys really helped me out a lot today, I appreciate it.”

Sans says: “Don't mention it. I just feel bad for Queen Hedrian and Emperor Diabolica.”

Bash asks: “Really?! Why?”

Sans says: “Well, if they continue going on the WAY they are NOW; they're GOING to have a BAD time!”

D.O.G., says: “Well, you're certainly right about THAT part! More than you can possibly know!”

The De-Morphed Rangers finally return and BlackHawk says: “Here we are guys! Sorry we're late; but Undyne REALLY needed our help at the Juice Bar today and...when it comes to a friend in need, it's really hard to say no.”

Smash says: “You guys don't have to apologize. Because you went to get the Rangers, they came and saved everything! I just hope that some day, I can thank the Pink Ranger personally! It would mean SO much for me, if I got the chance to meet her, and show her just how much one guy can be in love with the heroic woman of my dreams!”

Pinkie coyly says: “Oh, I think she ALREADY knows! More than you can possibly know!”

Smash asks: “What is THAT supposed to mean?!”

Usagi says: “Oh, nothing! Just Pinkie being her usual Pinkie self!”

Lettuce says: “And that's what I LOVE about her! Nobody else can be Pinkie, like Pinkie PIE can!”

Pinkie romantically says: “Oh, LETTUCE!!!!”

And they kiss each other against the back-drop of the setting sunset! /

Epilogue: A beautiful scene of horses running across an American desert, is seen while a very familiar hit song by The Rolling Stones, plays in the background. /

“Childhood living is easy to do, the things you wanted, I bought them for you. Graceless lady, you know who I am. You know I can't let you slide through my hands. Wild horses couldn't drag me away. Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away. I watched you suffer a dull aching pain. Now you decided to show me the same. No sweeping exits, or offstage lines could make me feel bitter, or treat you unkind. Wild horses couldn't drag me away. Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away. I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie. I have my freedom, but I don't have much time. Faith has been broken, tears must be cried. Let's do some living after we die. Wild horses couldn't drag me away. Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day. Wild horses couldn't drag me away. Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day.” /

Episode Notes: Featured songs in this episode are “Mustang Sally,” and “Wild Horses,” played during the epilogue. According to Galaxy Lightning, BlackHawk now has a fighting power level of 16,000. First time that Baphomet has fought a significant battle against the Power Rangers. His failure leaves him with the removal of his wings. Queen Hedrian uses a Love Potion to get Emperor Diabolica to fall in LOVE with her, so she can become his wife! Second appearance of Radiguet, who is indirectly responsible for the suffering that Baphomet is now feeling!

Personal Notes: This took me a long time to write, and I think it has to do with the fact that in trying to make the transition from the first season of this show into the second season, the attempts to wind up the story-lines of any characters who might not be around for the second season, as well as to pivot to more complicated, more mature story-lines, will undoubtedly leave their mark during this relatively rough period. In fact, the second reason why this took me so long to write, was that I was busy researching many different writing tools and strategies used in many different pieces of written and visual media. Now that I know the name of many different writing techniques, and just how they have been utilized in other forms of media, I intend to use these tools to the best of my ability, to write better story ideas in the future! /

That's my episode idea for today!  Enough said, true believers! 

 

[4EverGreen]

Just in time for "Yellow Submarine's" 49th anniversary on November 13th, here is my "One Shot Story", "Mellow Submarine", presented as one complete, uninterrupted story. No room for Personal Notes though, but I hope you will enjoy it regardless. /

Main Cast List:

The Blue Meanies: Plankton’s Army. Chief Blue Meanie: Plankton. Meanie General: Karen.

Max: Clem. Young Fred: Spongebob. Lord Mayor: Mr. Krabs.

Ringo Starr: Rocko. Policeman: Jenny. John Lennon: Lettuce.

George Harrison: Norbert. Paul McCartney: Captain Retro. Nowhere Man: Stimpy.

Featured Songs:

“Mellow Submarine.” “Eleanor Rigby.” “Love You to.” “A Day in the Life”.

“Octopuses’ Garden”. “When I’m 94”. “Only a Northern Song”. “Nowhere Man”.

“Pinkie in the Sky with Diamonds”. “Think for Yourself”.

“Captain Retro’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”. “A Little Help from My Friends”.

“All You Need Is Love”. “Baby, you’re a Rich Man”. “Hey, Bulldog!”

“Something”. “Hello, Goodbye”.

Mellow Submarine

Prologue:

Narrator: “Once upon a time, or maybe twice, there was an Unearthly paradise called, Bikini Bottom. 40,000 leagues beneath the sea it lay. Or lie. I’m NOT quite sure.” And the scene opens up on a bunch of underwater sea creatures, enjoying the day, their own company, nice music, and life in general on this nice day. But on the mountain range just south of Bikini Bottom, a bunch of EVIL, Green plankton are gathering, wielding various weapons of MASS destruction, and many of them riding in big, muscular robots, in order to make themselves more threatening. The Chief Green Meanie says: “Bikini Bottom is a tickle upon the entire world. And that tickle, must be scratched! Right Clem?” A simple, green, buck-toothed fish, raises his fin, and says: “Yes, your greenness.” Plankton screams: “WHAT?!!! WE Meanies only take 'NO' for an answer! Is that CLEAR, Clem?!” Clem positively says: “No, your greenness!” Plankton says: “SPLENDID!!!! Are the weapons all primed?” Clem says: “No.” Plankton asks: “Is the Robotic Flying Chum Glove all set?” Clem says: “No.” Plankton asks: “Are the Snapping Turks ready?” Clem says: “No.” Plankton asks: “Are the Bonkers ready to bonk?” Clem says: “No.” Plankton asks: “Is the three-headed plankton dog ready to bite?!” Clem says: “No!” Plankton creepily says: “SPLENDID!!!! Today, Bikini Bottom goes MEANIE!!!! FIRE the anti-music bubble!!!!” And firing a GIGANTIC missile, it heads STRAIGHT for a musical band that's playing, and it transforms into a bubble that completely IMMOBILIZES them, cutting the sea creatures OFF from their MUSIC!!!! The sea creatures IMMEDIATELY realize that something is wrong, and they start RUNNING for their own safety, only to be quickly OVERWHELMED by Snapping Turks, the three-headed plankton dog, and the bonkers who immobilize the innocent sea creatures! Fortunately, a chipper young sea sponge, with a long history in underwater adventures and excursions, sees the mess, and immediately realizes that he needs to seek advice from someone with great knowledge, in order to tell him what to do! Young Spongebob says: “S.O.S.!!!! Emergency!!!! QUICKLY!!!! IMMEDIATELY!!!! 'H' is for Hurry; 'E' is for 'Ergent'; 'L' is for Love me; 'P' is for PLEASE; Please help!!!!”

Plankton SEES the running sponge, and he says: “Flying Glove; see that pesky, yellow creature? Crush IT; flatten it; SMASH it; eviscerate it! OBLITERATE it!!!!” And the Robotic Glove seeks out the yellow sponge, but Spongebob is MUCH too quick for the glove, and he QUICKLY hides behind a BUNCH of outdoor sea art, which mostly contains of positive messages such as “Yes, Peace” and “Love.” But the CRUEL Glove SMASHES the positive messages, graying them in the process, then POINTS to Spongebob as if to indicate that HE'S next! Spongebob nervously says: “Now, now, it's not polite to point!” And Spongebob jumps through a large sculpture of the word, “Know.” The Flying Glove tries to go through it as well; but it just SMASHES the 'K' and 'W', leaving a grayed “No.” And the Flying Glove is completely stuck within the sculpture! Plankton screams: “The GLOVE is losing it's touch! Come on, WEAPONS; do your WORST!!!!” And Plankton's Army starts shooting whatever they CAN at Spongebob, but Spongebob is fortunately too quick for the anti-music lasers. The same can't be said for the happy artwork and other innocent bystanders who get immobilized and grayed from getting hit by the lasers. Finally, Spongebob gets to a quartet who is playing classical music! Spongebob says: “Lord Mayor Krabs! It's a crisis! They're evil! They're mean! The Green Meanies are coming!” Lord Mayor Krabs says: “Not now, Spongebob! They WOULDN'T dare!” Spongebob says: “They WOULD! They ARE! What are we going to do?!” Lord Mayor Krabs says: “FINISH the quartet!” And Squidward suddenly gets ZAPPED! Spongebob says: “Trio, sir.” Lord Mayor Krabs questioningly asks: “Trio?” And Mrs. Puff suddenly gets ZAPPED! Spongebob says: “Duet, sir.” Lord Mayor Krabs questioningly asks: “Duet?” And Pearl suddenly gets ZAPPED! Spongebob says: “Solo!” Lord Mayor Krabs finally REALIZES the situation, and he cries: “The Green Meanies are coming!” And he runs with Spongebob to the top of a pyramid structure, where a mellow submarine is parked. Lord Mayor Krabs says: “Four score and seven bars ago; our fore-fathers...” Spongebob asks: “A quartet?” Lord Mayor Krabs continues: “And our fore-mothers...” Spongebob asks: “Another quartet?” Lord Mayor Krabs says: “They traveled here in this Mellow Submarine. You must go! Search far and wide if you must need to! Look for a musical quartet that can rally against this menace! Now go, and get help!” Spongebob asks: “But WHO should I get?! Where should I go?!” Lord Mayor Krabs says: “No time for trivialities, young Spongebob! GO! Get HELP!!!!” And Spongebob takes off in the Mellow Submarine, and just a few seconds later, the top of the building gets blown up by an EXPLOSION!!!! Lord Mayor Krabs plays his violin defiantly, until the bonkers drop a BUNCH of giant apples on top of him, rendering him gray and immobilized!

The movie title and opening credits are seen, as the Mellow Submarine passes through a montage of animated scenes from various Nicktoon series, while the Famous foursome sing their version of a great, hit song! / Rocko: “In the town where I was born, lived a man who sailed to sea. And he told us of his life, in the land of submarines. So we sailed into the sun, until we found the sea of green. And we lived beneath the waves, in our mellow submarine.” The Famous Four: “We all live in a mellow submarine. A mellow submarine, a mellow submarine. We all live in a mellow submarine. A mellow submarine, a mellow submarine.” Rocko: “And our friends are all on board. Many more of them live next door; and the band begins to play.” (Orchestral music) Famous Four: “We all live in a mellow submarine. A mellow submarine, a mellow submarine. We all live in a mellow submarine. A mellow submarine, a mellow submarine!” Lettuce: “Full speed ahead, Mr. Beaver, full speed ahead!” Norbert: “Full speed it is, then!” Captain Retro: “Cut the cable, drop the cable!” Lettuce: “Aye, aye, sir! Captain, captain!” Rocko and Captain Retro: “As we live a life of ease (A life of ease!) Everyone of us (Everyone of us) has all we need. (Has all we need!) Sky of blue (Sky of blue) and sea of green. (Sea of green!) In our mellow (In our mellow) submarine. (Submarine, ha, ha!)” Famous Four: “We all live in a mellow submarine. A mellow submarine, a mellow submarine. We all live in a mellow submarine. A mellow submarine, mellow submarine. We all live in a mellow submarine. A mellow submarine, a mellow submarine. We all live in a mellow submarine. A mellow submarine, a mellow submarine.” / And the epic song ends! /

Chapter One: “Eleanor Rigby.”

The scene opens up on the vast, urban city landscape of Burbank, California. It is a dreary, cloud-filled day. As the factories start working, and a slow city commute starts, slices of life are seen as the Famous Four sing a lament to a well-known woman. / The Famous Four: “Ah, look at all the lonely people. Ah, look at all the lonely people.” Captain: “Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been. Lives in a dream. Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door. Who is it for? All the lonely people, where do they all come from? All the lonely people, where do they all belong? Father McKenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear. No one comes near. Look at him working, darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there. What does he care? All the lonely people, where do they all come from? All the lonely people, where do they all belong?” Famous Four: “Ah, look at all the lonely people. Ah, look at all the lonely people.” Captain Retro: “Eleanor Rigby, died in the church and was buried along with her name; nobody came. Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave; no one was saved.” Captain Retro and Lettuce: “All the lonely people. (Ah, look at all the lonely people). Where do they all come from? All the lonely people; (Ah, look at all the lonely people), where do they all belong?” / And the epic song ends as a single, solitary green balloon floats up into the sky and then pops! /

In a city cemetery, Rocko sighs, and says: “Woah, is me. Compared to MY life; Eleanor Rigby's life was filled with journeys, excitement, and adventures.” Rocko thinks: “I haven't done anywhere near HALF of the things she has done!” Rocko says: “I really would've thought the celebration of her life would've had a bigger turn-out.” Rocko thinks: “Just goes to show you that you need to spend time making friends as well as going places.” Rocko sighs, and says: “Nothing ever happens to me.” Rocko walks on a sidewalk, of an unusually empty street, but is KEENLY aware that there is something VERY close to where he is, as it happens to be a MELLOW Submarine! Rocko sees a police-woman trying to get a Scottish cat out of a tree, and Rocko decides to go to her. Jenny says: “Here kitty, kitty! Come down, Gordon Quid! Here kitty, kitty! Come down to...” And she sees Rocko, and Gordon jumps down on her head. Jenny puts Gordon down onto the ground, and he runs away. Jenny says: “Pardon me.” Rocko asks: “Excuse me, officer. Would you believe me if I said that I thought that I was being followed by a Mellow Submarine?” Jenny thinks about it, and she firmly says: “No, sir. No, I would not.” Rocko says: “I didn't think you would.” And Rocko walks away, but Jenny SEES the Mellow Submarine fly past, and she gets a SHOCKED expression, on her face! Rocko pants as he runs up a hill to the Nickelodeon Studios, and he says: “I knew it didn't make any sense, to think that I was being followed by a Mellow Submarine! It must have been one of those unidentified flying cupcakes! Or a figment of my imagination! But I don't HAVE an imagination!” And Rocko goes into the building, and the Mellow Submarine parks in front, just a few seconds later. Spongebob gets out, and he knocks on the door and rings the doorbell! Spongebob shouts: “Help! I NEED somebody! Help! Not just anybody! Help! You know I need someone! HELP!!!!” Rocko looks through a tiny eye-door in the door, and he says: “Be specific.” Spongebob says: “Explosions! Flying Glove! Three-headed dog! Snapping Turks! Army! GREEN Meanies! 'H' is for Hurry; 'E' is for 'Ergent'; 'L' is for Love me; 'P' is for PLEASE; Please help!!!!” Rocko opens the door, and he says: “Your story has touched my heart, mate. I'm Rocko Starr. Come inside, and I'll get me mates to help.” Spongebob goes inside, and he asks: “Are there four of you?” Rocko says: “Counting myself, there are a lot of Nicktoons here, but there are FOUR of us; who will be MORE than happy to help you out!”

As they walk through the many hallways of the Nickelodeon Studios, the two of them see the various antics and madcap jokes by many of the other Nicktoons. Spongebob asks: “Can't we just take ANY Nicktoons?” Rocko says: “If your situation is really as bad as you SAY it is; than you're going to need the help of me, and my mates in order to see YOU through!” Rocko and Spongebob come to a door, and Rocko says: “This is Door Number Nine. John Lettuce said he would be doing some 'Imagining' in here today.” Rocko and Spongebob go into the room, but all they can see is a bunch of scientific chemicals, and other assorted madcap machines cluttering up the room. Spongebob says: “It doesn't look like the man is in.” Rocko asks: “Say, there's a lever here! I wonder what would happen if I pulled it?” Spongebob says: “Well, I wouldn't pull it if I were you!” Rocko says: “I can't help it. I'm a born lever puller.” And Rocko pulls the lever, and it raises a slab, and a Frankenstein type monster comes to LIFE!!!! Instead of attacking, it picks up a scientific solution; smells the scent of sweet-smelling perfume and flowers, then is TRANSFORMED back into looking like a green penguin, wearing glasses and a mustache! He says: “Wow! That was the weirdest 'Imagine' session that I've ever done!” Rocko says: “I told you NOT to eat when you 'Imagine,' John Lettuce.” Lettuce asks: “Who is your friend?” Spongebob nervously says: “Explosions! Flying Glove! Three-headed dog! Snapping Turks! Army! GREEN Meanies!” Rocko asks: “What do you think?” Lettuce says: “I think we should help the poor guy out.” Spongebob says: “Oh, thank you EVER so much! This means a LOT to me!” They walk out of the door, unaware of all the CRAZY shenanigans that some other Nicktoons have been pulling while they were in the room, and the other Nicktoons run away. Lettuce asks: “By the way; do you happen to know what today is?” Rocko says: “It's 'Sitar' Day.” Lettuce says: “Than Norbert will be in here.” And they open up a tie-dyed door, and see a bunch of mystical lights, as they see a guru floating and playing a sitar to the tune of a mystical love song.

Chapter Two: “Love You to.”

Norbert: “Each day just goes so fast. I turn around, it's past. You don't get time to hang a sign on me. Love me while you can, before I'm a dead, old man. A lifetime is so short, a new one can't be bought, but what you've got, means such a lot to me. Make love all day long, make love singing songs.” / The three of them are so enchanted by the mystical room, they don't even NOTICE Norbert is now driving a Little Red Corvette in the hallway! Norbert asks: “What are you looking in THERE for, now?” Rocko says: “There's a situation that you need to listen to, Norbert Harrison!” Spongebob nervously says: “Explosions! Flying Glove! Three-headed dog! Snapping Turks! Army!” And the three of them simultaneously say: “GREEN Meanies!” Norbert chuckles, and he says: “You're getting worked up over a bunch of NOTHING, if you ask me!” And Norbert begins driving up and down the hallway. Rocko says: “Wait a minute! That's MY car, love!” Norbert asks: “How do you KNOW it's YOUR car, love?” Rocko says: “Well, it's red with white wheels!” And the car Norbert is driving suddenly turns into a PINK Cadillac with blue wheels! Rocko says: “I mean, pink with BLUE wheels!” And the car Norbert is driving suddenly turns into a yellow Mustang with BLACK wheels!” Rocko says: “I mean, YELLOW with black wheels!” And the car Norbert is driving changes AGAIN, into a GREEN Tesla with ORANGE wheels! Norbert says: “It's all in the mind!” And the three of them get into the car, and Norbert punches it, and they begin RIDING down fast through the many hallways of the Nickelodeon Studios, until they come across a row of doors with a varying amount of number '4's' on them. Rocko says: “He SAID he would be behind one of these doors!” Lettuce says: “We'll just have to look and see which one!” They open a door marked '40,' and they see a GIANT gorilla SMASHING through a window, and TRYING to grab Olga Patacki as she SCREAMS! Norbert asks: “Do you think we're interrupting something?” Lettuce says: “I think so.” And they close the door! They open another door marked '44', and are COMPLETELY baffled to see an AMTRAK train coming RIGHT towards them, but they CLOSE the door just in time, and the train DOESN'T bust through the door!

Chapter Three: “A Day in the Life”

Norbert says: “It's all in the mind.” Than the four of them open a door that's marked '4', and they seem to find what they are looking for!

Captain Retro: “Woke up, fell out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head. Found my way downstairs, and drank a cup. And looking up, I noticed I was late. Found my coat and grabbed my hat. Made the bus in seconds flat. Found my way upstairs and cracked a joke. Than somebody spoke, and I went into a dream.” / They close the door, and Lettuce says: “He looks good, don't he, though?” Rocko asks: “Don't he, though?” Norbert asks: “Don't he?” Spongebob, confused, asks: “Though?” And Captain Retro walks out, holding a bouquet of roses, and a LOUD cheer of excited shouts coming from behind him! Lettuce says: “THAT'S him, though!” Captain Retro asks: “What's the matter, fellows? Green Meanies?” Spongebob says: “Well then, it looks like I found our quartet! Now come with me, I need to let you know what you're up against!” Captain Retro says: “Well, I'm Captain Retro McCartney; and we usually do PAID gigs, but you seem like a friend in need, so we'll do this one pro bono. But feel free to tip us handsomely, if you want.” Spongebob says: “We'll be up against THOUSANDS of green plankton wearing robot suits!” Lettuce says: “Well I think...” Spongebob says: “A flying robotic Chum Glove with a mean streak.” Norbert says: “Well I think...” Spongebob says: “Snapping Turks and bonkers!” Rocko says: “Well I think...” Spongebob says: “And one of the biggest, meanest bunch of music haters you could ever hope to COME across!” The Famous Four all simultaneously say: “I THINK...I've FORGOTTEN!!!!” And they all get into the Mellow Submarine. As the Mellow Submarine zooms past the many various sites of the busy Los Angeles metropolitan area, a loud violin sound is heard rising in a crescendo, and ending with a cymbal crash as the Mellow Submarine DIVES into the Pacific Ocean! Lettuce says: “Well then, what's our first order of business?” Spongebob says: “We begin by finding some Green Meanies! Than with the power of song and music, we send them BACK to where they came from!” Norbert says: “Well, suppose there ARE no Green Meanies around?” Spongebob sighs, and says: “Then, I guess we start by finding a button somewhere.” Captain Retro sees a pretty GREEN button, and he presses it! Calming, soothing music begins to play, as they begin to pass through a colorful coral reef area in the ocean, FILLED with a lot of octopuses! Captain Retro says: “This seems like the right tune and the right way to go, to me!”

Chapter Four: “Octopus's Garden”

Norbert sings: “I'd like to be under the sea, in an octopus's garden in the shade. He'd let us in, knows where we've been, in his octopus's garden in the shade. I'd ask my friends to come and see, an octopus's garden with me. I'd like to be under the sea, in an octopus's garden in the shade. We would be warm below the storm, in our little hideaway beneath the waves. Resting our head on the sea bed, in an octopus's garden near a cave. We would sing and dance around, because we know we can't be found. I'd like to be under the sea, in an octopus's garden in the shade. (Instrumental break) We would shout and swim about; the coral that lies beneath the ocean waves.” Captain Retro: “Lies beneath the ocean waves.” Norbert: “Oh, what joy for every girl and boy; knowing that they're happy, and they're safe.” Captain Retro: “Knowing that they're happy, and they're safe.” Norbert: “We would be so happy you and me; no one there to tell us what to do. I'd like to be under the sea, in an octopus's garden with you. In an octopus's garden with you; in an octopus's garden with you!” / And the epic song ends, as they see ONE octopus, pointing one of his tentacles to a watch! Rocko asks: “What time is it now?” Lettuce says: “It's time, FOR time!”

Chapter Five: “When I'm 94”

Suddenly, the Mellow Submarine STOPS progressing forward, and seems to start moving BACKWARDS; like it was CAUGHT by something STRONGER than itself! Captain Retro says: “Did you ever get the feeling, that things aren't as rosy as they look on the surface?” Norbert asks: “What do you mean?” Lettuce says: “It seems as though we seem to be having more TIME on our hands. The clock is moving backwards!” Spongebob says: “Maybe it's going on strike, and is demanding more hours in a day.” Captain Retro says: “I wouldn't blame it. After all, it must be awfully tiring being time; there ARE only 24 hours in a day, seven days a week, you know.” Lettuce says: “You'd need EIGHT days a week just to do all the things you WANT to do!” And the Mellow Submarine begins moving counter-clockwise in a circular motion, as numbers (as if on a clock or watch), begin to rise, and then fall down! Rocko says: “Might I make an observation?” Norbert says: “Go ahead.” Rocko says: “I theorize, that we seem to be caught within a cosmic experiment, of Einstein's theory of Relativity. The more and more time seems to move backward, the younger and younger we keep feeling.” Norbert says: “That's your scientific explanation for Relativity?” Rocko starts speaking, but then he starts SHRINKING, as if he's AGING backwards! Rocko says: “Now, Norbert; just because I'm a drummer, doesn't mean that I'm...suddenly, I'm not quite FEELING like myself!” Captain Retro starts speaking, but then HE starts shrinking, as if HE'S aging backwards! Captain Retro says: “Suddenly, you're not HALF the man you USED to be!” Norbert starts speaking, and HE starts shrinking, as if he's aging BACKWARDS! Norbert says: “Everything around us is getting BIGGER!!!!” Lettuce, already shrunk, says: “It's not! It's just US getting smaller...” Rocko cries, and says: “I want my mom!” Lettuce says: “And YOUNGER!!!!” Spongebob hasn't been HIT as bad, and is STILL tall! Spongebob says: “No worries, folks! Young Spongebob will get us out of this mess, yet!” Norbert says: “Please do! I don't want to end up like Benjamin Button! That's not a very ATTRACTIVE thought in my mind, to share the fate of Brad Pitt!” Lettuce says: “There must be something on this Submarine that can get us out of this fix!” Rocko cries again, and says: “I want my mom!” Spongebob says: “Time could soon be running OUT for us, I'm afraid! If we don't find a way to reverse this soon, we could SOON disappear right out of our OWN existence!” Captain Retro asks: “What if we do something about the moving clock? Like simply STOP it, and move it FORWARDS again?!” Spongebob says: “Clever lad!” And as Captain Retro PULLS the clock BACK to moving clock-wise, the trick seems to WORK, as the years start to move FORWARDS again, and all of them age back to normal!

Norbert says: “That was a close one! Time is moving FORWARDS again!” Lettuce points out of the Submarine window, and sees ANOTHER Mellow Submarine filled with characters looking just LIKE the Famous Four, going BACKWARDS! Lettuce says: “Look! There's another Mellow Submarine filled with friendly folks, and they're waving!” Rocko says: Then let us wave back!” Norbert says: “They seem like a friendly bunch of folks.” Captain Retro says: “Maybe we're ALL part of a vast Mellow Submarine fleet, each seeking to find our place within this crazy, mixed-up world of ours.” Lettuce says: “If I might make a theory of my own...” Spongebob says: “Go ahead.” Lettuce says: “I reckon that the Mellow Submarine we just saw, and that we just passed, was filled with nothing BUT...” Norbert says: “Ourselves!” Spongebob says: “Going BACKWARDS...” Rocko says: “In time!” Captain Retro says: “Wait a minute! I think I hear something!” And suddenly, all FIVE of them start graying, growing white hair and LONG white beards! Lettuce says: “Oh dear! Look at us!” Norbert says: “I can actually FEEL my beard growing!” Spongebob says: “Oh, my! We're all the same! We're all senile, OLD delinquents!” Rocko says: “We'd better do something!” And Captain Retro GETS an idea, and decides to FIX this problem with the power of SONG!!!! / Captain Retro: “When I get older losing my hair, many years from now; will you still be sending me a valentine, birthday greetings, bottle of wine? If I'd been out till a quarter to three, would you lock the door? Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm ninety-four?
You'll be older too. And if you say the word, I could stay with you. (All of the characters return to their normal age during this sequence) I could be handy, mending a fuse when your lights have gone. You can knit a sweater by the fireside; Sunday mornings, go for a ride. Doing the garden, digging the weeds; who could ask for more? Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm ninety-four? Every summer we can rent a cottage in the Isle of Wight, if it's not too dear. We shall scrimp and save. Grandchildren on your knee; Vera, Chuck and Dave. Send me a postcard, drop me a line, stating point of view. Indicate precisely what you mean to say; yours sincerely, wasting away. Give me your answer, fill in a form; mine forever more. Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm ninety-four? Ho!” / And the epic song ends as the Mellow Submarine leaves the ocean area filled with clocks and watches. Norbert says: “If I might make an observation?” Lettuce says: “Go ahead.” Norbert says: “I reckon that the sea we just passed through, was nothing but the Sea of TIME!!!!” Captain Retro says: “Makes sense to me.”

Chapter Six: “Only a Northern Song”

The Mellow Submarine starts passing through a bunch of 3-D cubes, and Lettuce asks: “NOW where are we?” Spongebob answers: “The Sea of SCIENCE!” Rocko says: “Groovy, mate!” / During this sequence, images of the Famous Four are represented by tie-die pictures, while their voices appear to be reverberating through an oscillator. Norbert sings: “If you're listening to this song, you may think the chords are going wrong.” Captain Retro sings: “But they're not; he just wrote it like that.” Norbert sings: “When you're listening late at night, you may think the band, are not quite right.” Lettuce sings: “But they are, they just play it like that.” Norbert sings: “It doesn't really matter what chords I play, what words I say, or time of day it is; as it's only a Northern Song! (Instrumental break) It doesn't really matter what clothes I wear, or how I fare, or if my tail is brown; when it's only a Northern Song.” (The Famous Four fly out of a yellow cube, and they fly around in circles, and are PUZZLED to see a relatively UGLY chalk monster JOINING them!) Norbert sings: “If you think the harmony, is a little dark and out of key; you're correct, there's nobody there!” (Instrumental break; the Famous Four FLY back into the yellow cube, and the chalk monster flies in there, TO!) Norbert sings: “And I told you there's no one there!” / The epic song starts to fade out, but it gets cut OFF as the Mellow Submarine LEAVES the Sea of Science, and the Famous Four are PUZZLED to see a relatively UGLY chalk monster in the Mellow Submarine, WITH them! Captain Retro asks: “How did THIS creature get in here?!” Spongebob says: “I'm not SURE, lad!” Lettuce says: “He doesn't look quite right.” Norbert says: “In fact, he looks ugly!” Everyone EXCEPT Captain Retro says: “REALLY ugly!” Captain Retro says: “Somebody push a button!” Spongebob presses one, and it EJECTS the monster out of the Mellow Submarine, but the monster suddenly grows into a GIANT size, and it soon is JOINED by a VAST array of differently drawn chalk monsters, all of varying sizes and appearances, all looking none too happy to see an unfamiliar Submarine passing through THEIR territory! Lettuce asks: “Where are we now?” Spongebob says: “The Sea of Monsters! A particularly NASTY place! We must PASS through this place first; then it's onto the Sea of Holes, and into the Sea of Green; then we'll arrive at Bikini Bottom! Rocko says: “This place creeps me out! I need to turn on the lights!” And Rocko leans towards a RED button, and Spongebob says: “Not THAT button! That's the--!” But Rocko presses it, and he GETS ejected, and LANDS on a WILD Giraffe Chalk Monster, and it begins running AWAY!!!! Spongebob sighs and says: “The PANIC Button!” Rocko says: “HELP!!!! 'H' is for 'Hurry!' 'E' is for 'Ergent!' 'L' is for 'Love me!'” And Rocko is taken TOO far away to hear him shout anymore!

Lettuce sighs and says: “There goes Rocko!” Norbert says: “He's WAY out there!” Lettuce says: “He always WAS way out there!” Norbert asks: “What are we going to do without him?” Spongebob suggests: “Learn to play as a trio?” Captain Retro says: “No, let's save the poor bloke!”

The Mellow Submarine begins navigating through the dangerous Sea of Monsters. And while a good number of the Chalk Monsters are content to just leave the Mellow Submarine alone, a few of them are LESS than friendly towards the sea-faring craft! Norbert asks: “What is THAT huge thing?!” Spongebob says: “It looks like a black cat, with a VACUUM for a mouth!” Lettuce says: “It looks like it's pulling us in!” Captain Retro says: “I'll put it in reverse!” Spongebob says: “FULL double reverse, HURRY!!!!” And Captain Retro puts the Mellow Submarine into reverse gear at JUST the right time! Norbert says: “That was a close one!” But then they turn around, and see a giant pair of UGG Boot Monsters! Captain Retro says: “OOPS! Too much!” Spongebob adds: “Too soon!” And the UGG Boot Monsters start to TRY to start STOMPING on them! Lettuce says: “I think they're trying to STEP on us!” Captain Retro says: “Then let us step BACK!!!!” Captain Retro pushes a button with a BOOT picture on it! The Mellow Submarine grows a BIG, GREEN boot on the bottom! It stomps on ONE of the UGG Boot Monsters! The Monster jumps up in PAIN, only to LAND on the OTHER UGG Boot Monster, and they both go jumping off in pain! Than the Mellow Submarine SPOTS Rocko on the runaway Giraffe Chalk Monster! Rocko yells: “'P' is for 'PLEASE; please help!” Norbert says: “There goes Rocko again!” Spongebob says: “Come on now, lad! This is no time to strike out on a SOLO career!” Captain Retro says: “Exactly! Because broken up from each other, NONE of us are capable of making a STELLAR solo record; except for me and Norbert, because he's going to release All Things Must Pass and The Concert for Bangladesh; and I'm going to release Band On the Run!” Lettuce asks: “WHAT?!” Captain Retro says: “Don't worry about it; maybe you can 'IMAGINE' a huge, giant, hit song of your own!” Spongebob says: “I'm afraid we've got more PRESSING matters to worry about; there's a bunch of evil Chalk, Robot Monsters chasing after Rocko!!!!” And they see a whole ARMY of the Cluster, chasing after Rocko! Lettuce says: “We need something BIG to deal with this!” Norbert says: “Press a button! Any button!” And Captain Retro QUICKLY presses buttons, causing the Mellow Submarine to produce colorful streamers, fireworks, and pictures of Madonna, The Rolling Stones, and EVEN a banner that says: “Hanna-Barbera.” Captain Retro says: “WHOOPS! That was the wrong BUTTON!!!! THIS must be the right one!” And the Mellow Submarine makes a landing, and a CLONE army of Norbert, Lettuce, and Captain Retro go chasing after Rocko! After a quick fight with the Cluster OFF screen, they come rushing back with Rocko, and re-board the Mellow Submarine! Norbert asks: “How was your experience out there, Rocko?” Rocko says: “To put it bluntly, harrowing!”

Spongebob says: “Uh-oh! That vacuum cat is back again!” Norbert says: “We're CAT food!” And a giant cat that looks like Mr. Blik, SWALLOWS the Mellow Submarine! Inside the giant cat, Lettuce says: “We just lost our instruments! Now what do we do?” Captain Retro suggests: “Now would be a good time to write some new song ideas.” Norbert says: “If there's nothing better to do.” But the giant cat monster, SO hungry, actually EATS the entire background, leaving a white, BLANK nothingness! Than the giant cat monster SEES it's own tail, and tries to suck it up; ONLY to cause itself to DISAPPEAR, and the Mellow Submarine REAPPEARS unharmed, but quickly loses energy, and falls down to a ground (even if it APPEARS like NOTHING); and the Mellow Submarine comes to a stall! Rocko asks: “What happened?!” Spongebob opens the engine door, and a small, green engine pops out of it! Spongebob says: “It's the poor engine on the Mellow Submarine! It's puttered out!” Norbert says: “Let me have a go at it! I'm pretty good at fixing engines!” Norbert puts his left hand towards the engine, but it gets SHOCKED by an open hole in the engine, and Norbert JOLTS backwards in SHOCK!!!! Captain Retro asks: What do you think, Norbert?” Norbert says: “I think I burnt my finger!” Lettuce asks: “Where ARE we, anyways?!” Spongebob says: “I don't know how to explain it, but it LITERALLY looks like we're in NOWHERE; we're surrounded by NOTHING!” Captain Retro says: “Statistically speaking, this CAN'T be nowhere; because EVERYWHERE is somewhere! Let us ask SOMEONE where we are!”

Chapter Seven: “Nowhere Man”

Norbert asks: “But who can we ask; when there is LITERALLY nothing AROUND?!” Rocko points out of one of the Submarine windows, to a red cat with a blue nose, and Rocko says: “What about THAT?! Just what do you call THAT?!” Lettuce says: “It must be one of the 'Nothings'.” Captain Retro says: “Well, at least that's SOMETHING!!!!” Norbert says: “Maybe he should have a look at the engine.” The Famous Four exit out of the Mellow Submarine, with Norbert holding the broken engine. The four of them are amused to hear this strange cat talking in poetic prose. The red cat says: “Analysis, dialysis, diagnosis; a problem, I think. I see four strangers coming towards me; I wonder if they speak.” Captain Retro says: “Excuse me sir, or, whatever you are. I don't mean to interrupt your train of thought; but we thought, that you might be able to help us. I'm Captain Retro; this is Lettuce, Norbert, and Rocko.” The red cat says: “A meeting, a greeting, an introduction, I say! Let me give you my cards, and we can get on our way!” The cat hands them each a card, EACH with a different name on them! Captain Retro reads: “Stimpy.” Lettuce says: “Jeremy.” Norbert asks: “Hillary?” Rocko reads: “PH.D.” but pronounces it: “FUD?!” Stimpy says: “A cat by any other name, would sound as sweet. A proper greeting just can't be beat!” Norbert says: “Well, our problem is our Submarine engine. We were wondering if you knew what was wrong with it.” Stimpy takes a look at it, and begins fiddling with it. Stimpy says: “Digesting, processing, and progressing; this engine seems quite messy!” Rocko asks: “Say again?” Stimpy says: “Your problem was simple; there was GUM in the works! I cleaned it out, with my clever smart forks!” Captain Retro tests the engine, and it begins running again! Captain Retro says: “I don't believe it! That cat did it!” Norbert says: “Not only that; he's making a rhyme, every time!” Lettuce says: “He's so smart; he doesn't even realize WHAT he is doing!” Stimpy says: “Ad loc, ad hoc, ad quid pro quo! So much time; so much to know!” Captain Retro says: “There must be SOME word for what he is!”

The Famous Four: “He's a real nowhere man, sitting in his nowhere land, making all his nowhere plans for nobody. Doesn't have a point of view, knows not where he's going to. Isn't he a bit like you and me? Nowhere Man, please listen; you don't know what you're missing. Nowhere Man, the world is at your command! (Instrumental break) He's as blind as he can be, just sees what he wants to see. Nowhere Man, can you see me at all?” (The Famous Four get into a giant rotating circle with Stimpy). The Famous Four: “Nowhere Man, don't worry. Take your time, don't hurry. Leave it all, till somebody else lends you a hand.” (The Famous Four get pulled OUT of the Nowhere Circle, leaving Stimpy sad and dejected, as his Nowhere Circle gets progressively smaller until it disappears completely!) The Famous Four: “Doesn't have a point of view, knows not where he's going to. Isn't he a bit like you and me? Nowhere Man, please listen; you don't know what you're missing. Nowhere Man, the world is at your command. He's a real Nowhere Man, sitting in his nowhere land; making all his nowhere plans for nobody. Making all his nowhere plans for nobody. Making all his nowhere plans for nobody!” / And the epic song ends as Stimpy starts crying. Norbert says: “Well, I think we spent enough time as it is, here. Let us get going.” Rocko asks: “But what about Stimpy?” Captain Retro says: “He's a fine guy, even if he lives in nowhere.” Lettuce says: “Besides, he seems to be content enough, going around in circles.” Rocko sighs, and says: “Well, I don't know; I think he should come with us.” Norbert asks: “What is it with Rocko?” Captain Retro says: “He feels sorry for Stimpy. I think we should take him; he might come in handy again.” Rocko asks: “Stimpy; would you come along with us?” Stimpy stops crying, and he asks: “You would take ME; a Nowhere Man or CAT, as the case might be?!” Rocko says: “Sure, if you WANT to come with us!” Stimpy says: “An expedition, an excursion! An exciting venture! Let us get to it; let's GO on adventure!” Lettuce says: “Here we go; down the hatch!” They enter the Mellow Submarine, and Stimpy says: “Down the hatch; a most peculiar phrase. Came up in the middle Victorian days.”

Chapter Eight: “Pinkie in the Sky with Diamonds”

Spongebob says: “Are we all buckled up and ready to go?! It's time for us to go to the Sea of Holes, and then get to the Sea of Green!” And the Mellow Submarine starts to take off again! It leaves Nowhere behind, and starts to enter a sea FILLED with pepper! But then the Mellow Submarine starts to steer erratically, heading towards the ground! Norbert asks: “NOW what's the problem?!” Stimpy says: “We must revise; revamp, renew! Ipsit-dixit! Just turn a screw!” The Mellow Submarine lands; and the Famous Four and Stimpy get out to investigate the problem. Stimpy points to the LOOSE left propeller, on the Mellow Submarine. He takes it off, and he puts some chewing gum in his mouth. After chewing for a while, he sticks the gum ONTO the propeller. Stimpy says: “A little gum I'll stick on you. A little turn, and you're good as NEW!!!!” Stimpy TURNS the propeller, but it works TOO well, and the Mellow Submarine takes OFF without Stimpy OR the Famous Four! Spongebob says: “NO!!!! The Submarine is stuck in DRIVE; I can't SWITCH it OFF! 'H' is for 'Hurry!' 'E' is for 'Ergent!' 'L' is for 'Love me!'” And the Mellow Submarine disappears out of sight! Rocko says: “'P' is for, 'Good-bye.'” Captain Retro says: “Well, this is a bit awkward, I must say!” Lettuce says: “You think?! We LOST the Mellow Submarine for good!” Norbert says: “Or for BAD!” Rocko says: “Or for worse!” Captain Retro says: “Go EASY on Stimpy, guys! I mean, he DID fix the engine AND the propeller for us! Besides, we KNOW where Spongebob is GOING! We'll just have to find our own way there and catch up with him!” And the five of them begin walking through a strawberry field. Norbert asks: “Where do you think THIS is?” Rocko says: “Off hand, I'd say it looks like we're in the head-lands of the foothills.” A soothing melody starts to be heard, and it makes Lettuce sigh in contentment. Captain Retro says: “Unusual weather among these parts; you don't hear wind like THIS every day!”

Lettuce: “Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly; a girl with kaleidoscope eyes! Cellophane flowers of yellow and green, towering over your head. Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes, and she's gone. Pinkie in the sky with diamonds! Pinkie in the sky with diamonds! Pinkie in the sky with diamonds! Ah! Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain, where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies. Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers, that grow so incredibly high! Newspaper taxis appear on the shore, waiting to take you away. Climb in the back with your head in the clouds, and you're gone! Pinkie in the sky with diamonds! Pinkie in the sky with diamonds! Pinkie in the sky with diamonds! Ah! Picture yourself on a train in a station, with Plasticine porters with looking-glass ties. Suddenly, someone is there at the turnstile; the girl with kaleidoscope eyes! Pinkie in the sky with diamonds! Pinkie in the sky with diamonds! Pinkie in the sky with diamonds! Ah! Pinkie in the sky with diamonds! Pinkie in the sky with diamonds! Pinkie in the sky with diamonds! Ah! Pinkie in the sky with diamonds! Pinkie in the sky with diamonds! Pinkie in the sky with diamonds.” (And the song fades out). / Lettuce coughs, and he says: “So sorry about that. Let us carry on.” Norbert says: “We should REALLY be looking for a sign, to tell us where we are!” And no sooner does he SAY that, then does a BUNCH of lawn-grown, trimmed plants, looking like ARROWS, pop out of the ground, pointing towards the west! Captain Retro says: “It seems like the Sea of Holes is located in THAT direction! Rocko says: “There is just SO much pepper on the ground!” Stimpy sneezes: “Ah-choo!” Lettuce sneezes: “Ah-choo!” Norbert sneezes: “Ah-choo!” Than the head-lands LITERALLY gear up and sneeze: “Ah-CHOO!!!!” And the gust BLOWS Stimpy and the Famous Four INTO a giant black hole! When they fall out of the hole, they find themselves swimming in a GIGANTIC sea of black holes, that APPEAR to go on forever! Lettuce says: “Well, now I've seen just about everything!” Norbert says: “What a most peculiar place.” Rocko says: “Wherever this peculiar place, is!” Captain Retro says: “Say, didn't Spongebob mention something about the Sea of Holes, before the Sea of Green?”

Chapter Nine: “Think for Yourself.”

Lettuce says: “You know what? I think you're right!” Norbert says: “You could spend a LIFETIME; fixing a hole, to keep your mind from wandering!” Captain Retro asks: “Stimpy, what do YOU think about this 'holy' situation?” Stimpy, STUCK in a hole, says: “There are simply NO holes in MY education!” Captain Retro says: “You mean you've never READ a 'Hole' book?” Rocko sighs and says: “Oh, boy!” Lettuce says: “Well, if this IS the Sea of Holes, than ONE of these Holes MUST lead us into the Sea of Green!” The Famous Four begin jumping in and out of holes, trying to find the right one. Norbert says: “The Sea of Holes, into the Sea of Green.” Stimpy is struggling, but BELOW him (which he can't see), there is an ADVANCE Green Meanie guard who SEES the struggling cat! Stimpy grunts and says: “Dialect, possibly; I think we're near the Sea of GREEN!!!!” And Stimpy gets PULLED through the hole! Rocko picks UP the hole, and TRIES to go through it, but is unable to! Rocko folds the hole up, puts it in his shirt pocket, and says: “I've got a HOLE in my pocket!” Lettuce says: “Say, just where did Stimpy go?!” Norbert says: “Maybe he ditched us!” Captain Retro says: “No way! He wouldn't do that to us!” Rocko says: “Guys! Guess what I found!” Captain Retro looks down, and asks: “What on Earth is with THIS green hole?!” Captain Retro STEPS on it, and the four of them begin to get PULLED through a portal, as disjointed voices sing: “Do what you want to do, and go where you're going to. Think for yourself cause I won't be there with you!” And when the sequence is over, the four of them SEE that they have ARRIVED in Bikini Bottom, but it looks all GRAYED, the structures BROKEN, and the people IMMOBILIZED and all grayed out! Lettuce asks: “THIS is Bikini Bottom? It doesn't look like anything that SPONGEBOB talked about!” Norbert says: “Maybe the local help is on vacation.” Captain Retro says: “More likely this is the work of the Green Meanies that Spongebob talked about.” Rocko looks up, and he says: “Speaking of, here comes Spongebob NOW!!!!” And in the sky, the Mellow Submarine comes zooming down, and lands on the remains of the pyramid shaped building. Spongebob comes out, and he says: “You guys have made it! That's good!” Lettuce says: “What's our next course of action?” Spongebob says: “We should find our Lord Mayor Krabs! He should know what to do!” Norbert says: “Well, why don't we grab a bite of something to eat, first?! I'm famished!” Rocko says: “These giant green apples should provide us with some nourishment.” Captain Retro looks, and says: “Hey! There's an EYE in THESE apples!” He removes the apples, and sees a sad, grayed crab! Spongebob says: “That's our Lord Mayor Krabs! He's been BONKED out!” Lettuce asks: “How do we bring him back around?” Spongebob says: “Give him a little snippet of a tune. It should bring him back again!”

The Famous Four sing: “Try thinking more if just for your own sake. The future still looks good, and you've got time to rectify all the things that you should.” / And Lord Mayor Krabs returns to his normal, red-looking crab color! Lord Mayor Krabs says: “The sweet sound of music! How I've MISSED it so! Well, I'll be! Look who you've brought!” Captain Retro says: “I get that a lot! Don't worry, I know that I'm the CUTE one!” Lord Mayor Krabs says: “It's not that! You look just LIKE the ORIGINALS!” Lettuce says: “We ARE the Originals!” Lord Mayor Krabs says: “I mean that you look JUST like Sargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band! That gives me an idea! You can POSE as them, and rally the sea creatures to march AGAINST the Green Meanies! Use your instruments, and DRIVE the Green Meanies away!” Norbert says: “We can't.” Rocko says: “We lost our instruments in the Sea of Monsters.” Spongebob says: “We'll just have to get these guys some more instruments!” Lord Mayor Krabs says: “If you can GET to the instruments!” Captain Retro asks: “What do you mean by that?” Lord Mayor Krabs says: “The Chief Green Meanie has ordered the confiscation of EVERYTHING that can MAKE music! Not a single note has been played SINCE!” Lettuce asks: “They hate music THAT much?!” Lord Mayor Krabs says: “They simply SHRINK at the very sound!” Norbert says: “Then we MUST get some instruments as soon as possible!”

The Famous Four survey the landscape, and they see a bunch of Green Meanie soldiers marching around, looking for ANYONE trying to shake off the effects of being gray or immobilized! Rocko says: “Now would be a good time, to go incognito!” As they think of a good idea for a disguise, they see that the Bonkers are going around, dropping GREEN apples onto the heads of sea creatures, who are trying very hard to MOVE, or just ELIMINATING any source of color that random sea creatures have HAPPENED to find! Captain Retro fashions some gray, sea creature cut-outs, like standees, and he gives one to EACH of his fellow friends, and himself! Captain Retro says: “This should fool the Green Meanies into IGNORING us! We sneak to where the instruments are being held, and we sneak back to a place where our music can be easily heard by EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY the Green Meanies!” Lettuce says: “That definitely sounds like a good plan if I've ever heard of one!” Norbert says: “Our cardboard cut-outs are ready!” Rocko says: “Than let us cut out!” And the Famous Four take great care to sneak to a hilltop gazebo, where they see a BUNCH of Green Meanies strewn about! Captain Retro says: “I think the instruments MUST be hidden there! Security is TIGHT here!” Lettuce says: “We've got to get past them!” Norbert says: “But we need a DISTRACTION!” Rocko says: “Survey says; sing some MUSIC! Would you care to do the honors, Norbert?” Norbert says: “I've got THIS one!”

Norbert runs off into the distance, and sings: “I left you far behind, the ruins of the life that you have in mind. And though you still can't see, I know your mind's made up; you're gonna cause more misery.” Clem shouts: “Singer! After him!” And a bunch of green meanies go AFTER the source, but they can't FIND him, because Norbert is HIDING behind his cardboard cut-out! Lettuce says: “Well, that certainly took care of MOST of them!” Captain Retro says: “All that's left are a few sleepers, taking some Golden Slumbers.” Rocko says: “Norbert, you're truly amazing, mate!” Norbert says: “Call me a Traveling Wallaby...or, SOMETHING like that! The name could use a little work!” The Famous Four RUSH to the Gazebo, before the Green Meanie search party returns! They look through the confiscated stuff, and they find the costumes worn by Sargent Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band, AND the instruments they play! Captain Retro says: “These guys certainly know how to dress, don't they, though?” Lettuce asks: “Don't they, though?” Norbert asks: “Don't they?” Rocko, confused, asks: “Though?” Rocko puts his hand down, and it TOUCHES a bagpipe! Rocko asks: “What is THIS thing doing here?!” He tosses it out of the gazebo, only for the bagpipe to blow IRRITATING notes as it falls down the hill, and the Green Meanies on the hill STOMP on the bagpipe as HARD as they can, in order to MAKE the music stop! Captain Retro says: “Oh, dear! It looks like we're surrounded!” Lettuce says: “We won't be able to sneak away as long as THEY'RE awake!” Norbert says: “Agreed. We might as well hide out here for the night, and wait until morning to sneak away.” /

Chapter Ten: “Captain Retro's Lonely Hearts Club Band/A Little Help from My Friends.”

The morning sun finally rises over Bikini Bottom, the Famous Four wake up first, and find that all the Green Meanies are still sleeping! Rocko says: “We're in luck! The Green Meanies are still only sleeping!” Captain Retro says: “Than let us take these instruments safely away, before they wake up again!” Lettuce says: “They seem strangely peaceful while they're only sleeping, like they are ALMOST nice, normal Nicktoons!” Norbert says: “Tip-toe, through the Meanies!” Captain Retro whispers: “Shhh!” But then, Rocko ACCIDENTALLY steps on the previously stomped bagpipe, and all Rocko can say is: “Oh, my!” Clem wakes up and says: “Thieves!” Captain Retro says: “Run for it!” And the Green Meanies begin to chase after and try to pursue the Famous Four, but they take the opportunity to hide near the trees where the Green Bonking Apples are being picked, and the chasing Green Meanies run RIGHT past them! Lettuce says: “That was a close one!” Norbert says: “It certainly was!” Than they hear the Bonkers have finished picking their apples, and are beginning to march off, as they are listening to Karen, give them orders! Captain Retro says: “I think we should take this unique opportunity to get closer to the citizens of Bikini Bottom, as well as incapacitate a few of these Bonkers. Wouldn't you agree?” Rocko says: “Seeing as the two of us are BOUND to work together for a LONG time, I'd say that we should!” Captain Retro says: “Than form a human tower on me, and I'll walk us all there! And when all stacked together from bottom to top, Captain Retro, Norbert, Rocko, and Lettuce are as tall as a Bonker, and they each hold a green apple in their hand! They then get behind the Bonker line with Karen! Karen says: “Sound off! One and two, and three, and four! One and two, and three and four!” Lettuce says: “Five!” Karen asks: “FIVE?!” And Lettuce bonks one of the four bonkers, knocking the bonker unconscious.

Karen says: “Sound off! One and two, and three, and four! One and two, and three and...!” Lettuce says: “Three!” And he bonks another bonker unconscious! Karen asks: “Three?!” Lettuce says: “Two!” And Karen shrieks: “Two?!” And Lettuce bonks the LAST bonker unconscious! Karen asks: “Are you meanish? You don't LOOK meanish!” Captain Retro says: “Get off, she's onto us!” And they stop being in the tower formation, but as Lettuce throws the last apple up in the air, it ends up falling DOWN on Karen before she can chase them! The Famous Four finally find themselves in the center of Bikini Bottom, where a bunch of Bikini Bottom citizens are still bonked unconscious, and still all gray from being bonked! Norbert says: “We did it! There's not a single Meanie!” Rocko says: “Not even a teeny, weenie Meanie!” Lettuce says: “Then let us begin our song! A one, a two, a three, a four, a five, a six...!” Captain Retro says: “I thought we all agreed that we would all begin on a four!” Lettuce sighs, and says: “Very well! A one, a two, a three, a four!” / Loud instrumental music begins playing, which IMMEDIATELY brings COLOR back into the Bikini Bottom citizens, and life back into Bikini Bottom itself, and it also attracts the attention of the Green Meanies, who thankfully can't get anywhere NEAR the Famous Four, as they are playing a hit song! / Lettuce sings: “It was fifteen years ago today, Captain Retro learned how to play! We have been going in and out of style, but we're guaranteed to raise a smile! So may I introduce to you; the act you've known for all these years, Captain Retro's Lonely Hearts Club Band!” Captain Retro: “We're Captain Retro's Lonely Hearts Club Band, we hope you will enjoy the show. We're Captain Retro's Lonely Hearts Club Band, sit back and let the morning go. Captain Retro's lonely, Captain Retro's lonely, Captain Retro's Lonely Hearts Club Band!” Norbert: “It's wonderful to be here, it's certainly a thrill. You're such a lovely audience, we'd like to take you home with us; we'd love to take you home.” Captain Retro: “I don't really want to stop the show, but I thought that you might like to know; that a singer's going to sing a song, and he wants you all to sing along! So let me introduce to you, the one and only Rocko Starr, of Captain Retro's Lonely Hearts Club Band!” /

Captain Retro, Lettuce, and Norbert: “Rocko Starr!” Rocko: “What would you think if I sang out of tune, would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears, and I'll sing you a song, and I'll try not to sing out of key. Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends. Mm, I can fly with a little help from my friends. Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends. What do I do when my love is away?” Captain Retro: “Does it worry you to be alone?” Rocko: “How do I feel by the end of the day?” Captain Retro: “Are you sad, because you're on your own?” Rocko: “No; I get by with a little help from my friends. Mm, I'll fly with a little help from my friends. Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends.” Norbert and Lettuce: “Do you need anybody?” Rocko: “I need somebody to love.” Norbert and Lettuce: “Could it be anybody?” Rocko: “I want somebody to love.” Captain Retro: “Would you believe in a love at first sight?” Rocko: “Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time.” Captain Retro: “What do you see when you turn out the light?” Rocko: “I can't tell you, but I know it's mine. Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends. Mm, I can fly with a little help from my friends. Oh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends.” Norbert and Lettuce: “Do you need anybody?” Rocko: “I just need someone to love.” Norbert and Lettuce: “Could it be anybody?” Rocko: “I want somebody to love. Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends. Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends. Oh, I can fly with a little help from my friends. Yes, I get by with a little help from my friends. With a little help from my friends!” / And the epic songs end as the Bikini Bottom citizens give them a thunderous applause! /

Chapter Eleven: “All You Need is Love.”

Meanwhile, in a thicket still filled with thorny plants and other bushes, Plankton and Clem are relaxing and enjoying a PERFECTLY miserable (but good to them), day! Plankton says: “The hills are alive!” And Clem sings: “With the sound of music!” Plankton screams: “WHAT?!!! What have I SAID about USING that WORD?!!!” Clem answers: “To not to?” Plankton asks: “So WHY did you USE it?!” Clem answers: “Because there IS music; just LISTEN!!!!” Plankton listens with his antennae, and he shudders! Plankton angrily says: “Psychedelic and popular music! It's just the WORST kind of music I can POSSIBLY imagine!” Clem asks: “What about Justin Bieber?!” Plankton seriously says: “Okay; SECOND worst kind of music I can possibly imagine! We must FLATTEN it, SMASH it, STOP it!!!! Flying Chum Glove!!!!” And the Flying Chum Glove flies in, and lovingly approaches Plankton! Plankton asks: “Hear on yonder; that joyous, flamboyant, frivolous music going on over there? I want you to fly OVER to it, and when you do; CRASH it!!!! BASH it!!!! CRUSH it!!!! ELIMINATE it!!!!” And the Flying Glove begins to fly over to the Famous Four! The Bikini Bottom citizens begin to worryingly whisper: “Glove? Glove? Glove? Glove?” Lettuce opens his mouth, but instead of actually SAYING something; he produces a solid, psychedelic word that says: “Glove!” Norbert says: “He's got the right idea, I should think!” Captain Retro opens his mouth, but instead of actually saying something; he produces a solid, psychedelic word that says: “Glove!” Captain Retro grabs the word, and ERASES the “G”, from the word, and makes it “Love!” Captain Retro says: “It's all in the mind!” / A rousing fan-fare is played, and everyone begins singing the word “Love,” which creates MORE solid “Love” words, that the Flying Glove keeps FLYING into! /

The Famous Four and chorus: “Love, love, love. Love, love, love. Love, love, love.” Lettuce: “There's nothing you can do that can't be done. Nothing you can sing that can't be sung. Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game. It's easy. Nothing you can make that can't be made. No one you can save, that can't be saved. Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time. It's easy!” Captain Retro and chorus: “All you need is love! All you need is love! All you need is love, love! Love is all you need!” The Famous Four and chorus: “Love, love, love. Love, love, love. Love, love, love.” Captain Retro and chorus: “All you need is love! All you need is love! All you need is love, love! Love is all you need!” Lettuce: “Nothing you can know that isn't known. Nothing you can see that isn't shown. Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be; it's easy!” Captain Retro and chorus: “All you need is love! All you need is love! All you need is love, love! Love is all you need!” Captain Retro: “All you need is love!” Lettuce: “All together, now!” The Famous Four: “All you need is love!” Lettuce: “Everybody!” The Famous Four and chorus: “All you need is love, love! Love is all you need!” / The Flying Chum Glove has finally had enough, and it retreats while the chorus repeats, “Love is all you need.” Norbert says: “There goes the glove!” Rocko says: “Kind of a nice glove!” Lettuce says: “Lovely glove!” Captain Retro: “Let's descend!” Lettuce says: “Right behind you!” Rocko says: “Wait for me!” Norbert descends slowly and says: “It's all in the mind!” And Bikini Bottom musically and magically, restores itself to its original state.

Captain Retro and chorus: “Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Love is all you need Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Yee-hai! Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Yesterday. Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Love is all you need! Oh, yeah! Love is all you need! She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah! Love is all you need! She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah! Love is all you need!” / And the epic song ends as the Famous Four begin marching with the Bikini Bottom citizens to drive off the Green Meanies, but then they stop, and Norbert says: “Hey, look over there! That looks very interesting!”

Chapter Twelve: “Baby, You're a Rich Man!”

The Famous Four travel to the ruined band-stand, where the Anti-Music bubble, is STILL holding strong, and is STILL holding the ACTUAL Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, prisoner! The Famous Four are even MORE surprised to see that the Band actually looks very much LIKE them, with only a few differences! Captain Retro says: “This is amazing!” Rocko says: “They have an uncanny similarity to us!” Lettuce says: “If I might propose a theory...” Norbert says: “Always with the theories!” Lettuce says: “I propose that these blokes ARE us, in what is a series of multiple, unusual, unique, parallel dimensions; that are separate, but still connected to us in a chemical, genetic way. And as we travel within them and without them, together and apart; we all collectively gather knowledge with each other, and over time, learn how to achieve a higher state of consciousness...what are you trying to do?” Captain Retro says: “We're trying to break this Bubble!” Lettuce asks: “So what's the problem?” Norbert says: “We can't break it; it's Nickelodeon proof!” Captain Retro says: “Nothing is Nickelodeon proof!” Rocko gets an epiphany, and says: “Wait! I've got a HOLE in my pocket!” And he pulls out the hole in his pocket that he had stored away earlier, and puts it OVER the Anti-Music bubble! And it works as the Anti-Music bubble begins to dissipate, and they hear the song that Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band was playing, before they were frozen! Norbert says: “Rocko, you're an absolute genius!” / Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band: “Baby, you're a rich man; baby, you're a rich man; baby, you're a rich man, too! You keep all your money in a big brown bag inside a zoo, what a thing to do! Baby, you're a rich man! Baby, you're a rich man; baby, you're a rich man, too! Baby, you're a rich man; baby, you're a rich man; baby, baby, you're a rich man too!” / And the epic song finishes playing! / Sergeant Pepper and his Band get out of their costumes, and they find that they are even DRESSED similarly to the Famous Four! Rocko turns to his Mirror Image, and Rocko asks: “So, what do you think about when you're not thinking about your band?” Mirror Rocko says: “Oh, I think about Photographs, how some things Don't Come Easy, and how I might want to form an All Starr band someday.” Norbert turns to his Mirror Image, and Norbert says: “I've been told that we are splitting images of each other.” Mirror Norbert says: “Darn right, we are!” Lettuce turns to his Mirror Image, and Lettuce says: “I've been told that I'm the Alter-Ego man of my group!” Mirror Lettuce says: “Than contrary-wise, by process of elimination, I must be the REAL Ego Man; Goo-goo, g'joob!” Captain Retro says: “I'm glad that we've managed to save our mirror images! We, are now a TRUE band of brothers!” Mirror Captain Retro says: “And as brothers, we must support each other in battles such as this situation demands!”

Chapter Thirteen: “Hey, Bulldog!”

Rocko asks: “So, what are we going to do?” Norbert says: “Well, whatever we do, we can't waste time! We've got to make a move before the Green Meanies can prepare a counter-attack, and try to catch us off guard!” Lettuce says: “So let us catch them off guard, before THEY catch us off guard!” Captain Retro says: “I suggest we start by messing with that Three-headed Plankton Dog! It would be very handy to get him to stop messing around with everything!” Mirror Captain Retro says: “Good idea, other me!” The Famous Four, and Sergeant Pepper and his band begin looking around for the Three-headed Plankton Dog, and it doesn't take too long before the Three-headed Plankton Dog begins snooping around to find them! The eight of them find what appears to be a Magical Piano, and Captain Retro says: “This instrument here gives me a clever idea!” They hide inside the Magical Piano, and when the Three-headed Plankton Dog begins sniffing around; Lettuce cranks the Magical Piano, and it begins playing by itself! / Captain Retro: “Sheepdog, standing in the rain. Bullfrog, doing it again! Some kind of happiness is measured out in miles. What makes you think you're something special when you smile? Child-like; no one understands. Jack knife, in your sweaty hands. Some kind of innocence is measured out in years; you don't know what it's like to listen to your fears!” Lettuce: “You can talk to me. You can talk to me. You can talk to me, if you're lonely, you can talk to me!” (As the song plays, the Famous Four and Sergeant Pepper and his band take turns messing with the Three-Headed Plankton Dog, confusing it!)

Captain Retro: “Yeah, hey, oh! Ho, ho! Yeah! Ho, ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho! Big man, walking in the park. Wigwam, frightened of the dark. Some kind of solitude is measured out in you. You think you know me, but you haven't got a clue.” Lettuce: “You can talk to me. You can talk to me. You can talk to me, if you're lonely, you can talk to me!” Norbert: “Hey!” Rocko: “Wahoo, woof! Woof!” Both Captain Retros: “Hey bulldog!” Both Lettuces: “Hey bulldog!” Both Norberts: “Hey bulldog!” Both Rockos: “Hey bulldog!” Lettuce: “Hey man, what's that noise?” Three-Headed Plankton Dog: “Woof!” Norbert: “What did you say? Just say it!” Three-Headed Plankton Dog: “Woof!” Rocko: “Do you know anymore?” Three-Headed Plankton Dog: “Ahwoo!” Captain Retro: “Woah, ha ha ha! You've got it, that's great! That's right! That's it, man, whoo! Give it to me, man, hurry! Ah, ho! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!” And the Three-Headed Plankton Dog runs INTO the Magical Piano in all the confusion, and gets rendered incapacitated! Captain Retro: “Quiet boy, quiet!” The Famous Four: “Hey, bulldog! Hey, bulldog!” / And the epic song ends as Sergeant Pepper and his band run off, and the Famous Four run off, except for Captain Retro, who notices something very FAMILIAR, hidden in the thorny bushes!

Chapter Fourteen: “Something”.

Captain Retro investigates, and he sees STIMPY! Alive and well, but currently hanging upside-down from a rope, that is tied to a tree! Captain Retro asks: “Stimpy! Can it be you?!” Stimpy says: “CAN it be me?! I'm not really sure; I think you'd best inquire the guards, for when they captured me, they took all of my cards!” Captain Retro says: “Hold still and be quiet! I'll get you loose!” Captain Retro frees Stimpy, and Captain Retro says: “I'd better take one of the bonking apples with us, just to be on the safe side!” And Captain Retro and Stimpy begin to sneak to safety, but they run into Karen! Karen asks: “And where do you think YOU'RE going?!” Captain Retro says: “Quickly Stimpy, read one of your lines!” Stimpy pulls out his book, and he recites: “Quickly, accurately, swift upper-cut! Left now, right now, hit it in the gut!” Karen merely laughs at Stimpy, but her eyes are closed while she laughs, so she doesn't see Captain Retro THROW his apple at her, and BONKS her right in the gut! Meanwhile, all the rest of the Green Meanies with the exception of Plankton and Clem, have decided that they have had ENOUGH of the musical treatment, and begin running BACK to the Mountain Range south of Bikini Bottom! Plankton asks: “Where do you think YOU'RE going?! You're not going AWOL!!!! Once MORE unto the breach! You're all advancing the WRONG way! RETREAT backwards!!!! Oh, my horse! My HORSE! My KINGDOM for a HORSE!!!!” And Plankton actually begins crying, and Stimpy begins to approach him. Stimpy says: “What an unusual feature. A poor, pathetic, crying, green creature! With his Robot Arms, Plankton GRABS Stimpy, and Plankton says: “I think I'll turn you into a CAT burger!”

Stimpy defiantly says: “I don't care WHAT you think!” Plankton angrily says: “Oh, you DON'T; HUH?! We will just SEE about THAT!!!!” Stimpy nervously says: “In truth, it seems that you're quite annoyed! Some reference material, before I'm destroyed!” Stimpy pulls out his book, and he recites: “Where in gardens most often grows; arise, a-rizz, arouse, a ROSE!!!!” And a ROSE appears where Plankton should HAVE a nose, and Stimpy replies: “A rosy NOSE?!” Plankton shrieks: “Speak your LAST piece!” But Stimpy mis-hears, and Stimpy says: “Peace! Yes, PEACE!!!! No more doom and gloom! Just stop being dour! Turn off what is sour; and BLOOM!!!!” And carnation flowers begin appearing all OVER Plankton's robot body! Stimpy says: “Bloom! Bloom! Bloom! BLOOM!!!!” Plankton screams: “TARNATION! Carnations!!!!” And Plankton and Clem finally run back to the Mountain Range south of Bikini Bottom! Rocko says: “When I first met Stimpy, that 'Nobody;' I always KNEW, he would be a SOMEBODY!!!!” On their own Mountain Range, Clem asks: “What's up, your mean...I mean, your new-ness?” Plankton sobs, and he says: “It's no longer a mean world, Clem! Where could we possibly go?!” Clem suggests: “North Korea?” Lettuce shouts: “Hey, you up there! Wish to change your ways and join us?!” Plankton asks: “What do you think, Clem?” Clem nods his head, and says: “No, your new-ness!” Plankton shrieks: “WHAT?!!!” Clem corrects himself, and says: “I mean; YES, your new-ness!” Stimpy says: “Yes; a quite positive phrase, it opens all locks, and will brighten his days!” Plankton says: “You know, I've never told anybody this, but my cousin IS the Jolly Green Giant!” / And the Mellow Submarine, driven by Spongebob, comes in with four new arrivals; Pinkie Pie; Katie, the Girl from Ipanema; Treeflower, and Reggie Rocket, and they join their respective boyfriends; Lettuce, Captain Retro, Norbert, and Rocko, as a great, epic song begins being played by the Famous Four! /

Norbert sings: “Something in the way she moves, attracts me like no other lover. Something in the way, she woos me.” Captain Retro sings: “I don't want to leave her now. You know I believe, and how!” Norbert sings: “Somewhere in her smile, she knows, that I don't need no other lover. Something in her style that shows me.” Lettuce sings: “Don't want to leave her now. You know I believe, and how!” Norbert and Captain Retro sing: “You're asking me, will my love grow? I don't know, I don't know! You stick around now, it may show! But I don't know, I don't know!” Norbert sings: “Something in the way, she knows; and all I have to do is think of her! Something in the things she shows me!” Rocko sings: “Don't want to leave her now. You know I believe, and how!” / And the epic song ends! /

Epilogue: “Hello, Goodbye”.

The Famous Four are back at the Nickelodeon Studios, and they are all hanging out together! Captain Retro says: “Well, that was quite the adventure we had in Bikini Bottom, wasn't it! We even brought back, some neat souvenirs!” Norbert says: “I've got a replica of the engine, from the Mellow Submarine!” Captain Retro produces a flashing, green, solid word, that says: “Love.” Captain Retro says: “And I've got a little, LOVE!” Rocko pulls out a large, green hole, and he says: “And I've got a hole in my pocket!” Captain Retro asks: “A hole?!” Rocko says: “Well, HALF a hole, anyways! I gave the rest to Stimpy!” Norbert asks: “What can he do with half a hole?” Captain Retro excitedly says: “I can fix it, to keep his mind from wandering!” Then the three of them notice Lettuce looking somewhere through a spyglass! Norbert asks: “What are you looking at, Lettuce?” Lettuce says: “Bad news, guys! Newer and MEANER Green Meanies have been sighted within the vicinity of this web-site! There's only one way to go out, fellows; SINGING!” Lettuce says: “One!” Norbert says: “Two!” Rocko says: “Three!” Captain Retro says: “Four!” /

The Famous Four sing: “You say yes, I say no; you say stop; and I say go, go, go, go, go! Oh, no! You say goodbye, and I say hello! Hello, hello! I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello! Hello, hello! I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello! I say high, you say low; you say why, and I say I don't know! Oh, no! You say goodbye, and I say hello!” Lettuce and Captain Retro sing: “Hello, goodbye, hello. / Hello, hello! I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello! / Hello, goodbye, hello. / Hello, hello! I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello!” Captain Retro sings: “Why, why, why, why, why, why, do you say goodbye, goodbye!” Lettuce sings: “Oh, no!” The Famous Four sing: “You say goodbye, and I say hello! Hello, hello! I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello! Hello, hello! I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello!” Lettuce and Norbert sing: “You say yes. / I say yes. / I say no. / But I may mean, no.” Rocko and Captain Retro sing: “You say stop. / I can stay, but I think it's time to go! Oh! Oh, no!” The Famous Four sing: “You say goodbye, and I say hello! Hello, hello! I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello! Hello, hello! I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello! Hello, hello! I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello; hello! Hela, hey, helloa! Hela, hey, helloa, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha! Hela, hey, helloa, whoo! Hela, hey, helloa, hela! Hela, hey, helloa, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha! Hela, hey, helloa, whoo! Hela, hey, helloa, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha!” / And the epic song ends! / That's my episode idea for today!  Enough said!

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Amazoness' Last Stand

It was a peaceful evening in Coastal Falls, and the Rangers were in Ebony's living room, chowing down on a batch of Cauldron Cakes she'd made. "You know what these remind me of?" Lettuce said. "The molten lava cupcakes my dad whips up."

"Oh, yeah, those." Toby said. "I remember when you brought me a couple. Those were sooo good." Naruto had polishd off his first Cauldron Cake and was grabbing another, much to Toby's amusement. "Hey, man. Slow down." he said, trying not to laugh. Naruto shot him a glare, but couldn't resist laughing himself. Soon the laughter spread to everyone in the room, from Blackhawk to Usagi. When the laughter died down, Blackhawk took a bite of his cake, and looked at Ebony.

"This is great." he said. "How'd you make these?"

"Family recipe on my dad's side." Ebony said. "It's been in our family since about the 1500s, I think."

"Cool!" said Usagi. "Your family must have a lot of great recipes if these taste as excellent as they do."

"We have lots, actually." Ebony explained. "Volumes of them, some ranging all the way to medieval times."

"Ooh, I have an idea!" Pinkie squeaked, a bit of green goo dribbling down her chin, which Lettuce wiped away then ate himself. "Why don't you teach us how to make Cauldron Cakes? I think that'd be a really neat recipe!"

"I second that, Ebony. Since I'm the son of a chef and I really love cooking, I always enjoy learning a new recipe or two." Lettuce said.

"Me three. I wanna cook up something better than Poffin Pies." Toby said.

"And I wanna cook up something better than ramen." Naruto joked.

"If you ask me," chimed in Blackhawk. "this could be a good way for us to grow as a team."

"That isn't a bad idea." Ebony agreed. "Hold on, I'll get one of my family's cookbooks from the attic." Walking over to the attic door, Ebony pulled it down with her magic, the ladder sliding down and hitting the floor. Slowly climbing up and out of sight, Ebony retrieved the cookbook and soon returned. Upon closer inspection, the other Rangers saw it resembled less of a modern cookbook and moe of a medieval grimoire...how appropriate, considering Ebony's lineage. The spine creaked as the front cover was flipped open, revealing the pages were yellowed with age, with text resembling Early Modern English, the kind Shakespeare used. "Okay...let's see here...butterbeer...pumpkin pasties...here we go, cauldron cakes." Gesturing that they should move into the kitchen, Ebony exited the living room with the other Rangers following. Placing the cookbook on the counter, Ebony got out the ingredients for the batter: cocoa powder, butter, eggs, milk, flour and sugar.

"Wait..." Lettuce said. "If this recipe's been in your family for centuries, then how come it uses cocoa powder?"

"You're forgetting something, Lettuce." Ebony replied. "By the time my ancestors started making Cauldron Cakes, chocolate had been introduced in Europe for a while."

"Still doesn't explain that bubbly green filling." Lettuce said.

"Boiling and green coloring." Ebony explained, starting to make the batter.

"Oh, now that makes sense." Lettuce said as Blackhawk began heating a flame to make the cake filling.

Meanwhile, on the Diabolic, Queen Hedrian and Emperor Diabolica had been cuddling and busy putting the final touches on their wedding plans, since it was to occur in around two days from now. They had decided most of everything up to this point: what they were going to wear (Hedrian had decided she'd wear a black dress, and Diabolica would wear black armor), who they'd invite (Hedrian would invite her father Master Vile and brother Rito Revolto, since as far as she was concerned they were the only members of her family worth a crap; Diabolica's minions were, by his own admission, the only family he had left, so they had honorary invites), and how big the wedding was going to be (pretty small, in contrast to Rita and Zedd's; Diabolica had compared their wedding to a Ork Waaaaagh! upon hearing a description from Rito Revolto, who had heard secondhand descriptions from guests and completely agreed). Now all that was left was very minor things such as the cake, which Circe was mixing up in one of her non-potion cauldrons. "Hey!" she protested as Kraky dipped his finger in the batter and tasted it. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm helping you, stupid." Kraky replied irritably. "Needs more vanilla extract."

Emperor Diabolica shot lasers out of his eyes, which promptly hit Kraky in the rear. As the kraken-like creature was screaming Yosemite Sam-style about how his 'biscuits were burning', the Tauran emperor growled, "Do not bother Circe while she helps us finish our wedding plans, especially eating the wedding cake batter. Do I make myself clear?"

"Y-yes, sire." Kraky whimpered, still holding his buttocks in pain. "I'm sorry for messing things up, Circe. I was only trying to help."

"Now," ordered Emperor Diabolica. "go find something to do that doesn't involve us in any way, shape, or form."

"Yes, sire." Kraky said, then went off to do who-knows-what. Stopping her cuddling of her fiancee for a moment, Hedrian breathed a sigh of relief as a thought struck her.

"Speaking of minions, where is Amazoness?" she inquired. As soon as the last syllable rolled off her tongue, who should show up but Amazoness, looking as pleased as could be? "Speak of the devil..."Hedrian muttered, then cleared her throat. "Hello, Amazoness. Have you made progress on your Megazord, by any chance?"

"Actually, yes." Amazoness replied. "The Amazord, as I call it, is ready for action and I am about to take it for a...test run, as it were."

"Then why aren't you out there doing so?" Hedrian asked before being interrupted by Lightning Galaxy, who slowly approached her, pistol in hand. "Yes, Lighning Galaxy? What do you want?"

"I am just here to inform you that I will be accompanying Amazoness on her mission to destroy the Rangers."

Hedrian raised an eyebrow and asked, "You aren't going to bring one of my monsters with you just in case?" Lightning Galaxy simply unholstered one of her pistols, which resembled a dull grey Colt 1911, and retrieved a small handful of silver-colored pellets (about 10 in total), each of which identically resembled a birdshot shell. Unloading a magazine cartridge, Lightning Galaxy began loading the pellets in one by one then inserted the magazine into her pistol. Wielding the gun with a stoic expression, Lightning Galaxy aimed it at the egg hatchery and fired. Instantaneously, a bright flash of light erupted from the barrel and hit the machine dead center, setting it aflame and causing a medium-sized explosion which destroyed most, if not all, of the remaining Hedrian Eggs inside. Her point made, Lightning Galaxy turned to face Hedrian, her mouth still afixed in an unmoving line.

"Does that answer your question, Hedrian? I have said it before, and I wil say it again: I need none of your pathetic monsters to take on the Rangers." she said smugly, Hedrian's face contorting into what could be best described as a mix of sorrow and maternal rage. As the Hedrian Clan's queen rose her hands to strangle the helmeted criminal, the latter once again raised the pistol, with it this time pointed straight at Hedrian. "I wouldn't lay a hand on me if I were you, dear. You have seen what one of my laser pellets can do against machinery. Would you like a demonstration of how it would feel against your bare skin?" Hedrian's eyes widened in horror, and she slowly backed away, mentally noting that she would find a way to avenge her remaining monsters...somehow. Smirking, Lightning Galaxy reholstered her pistol, then looked at the still-cowering Hedrian. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a team of Power Rangers to defeat." And with that, she teleported away as Hedrian began gathering materials to create memorial busts for the last Hedrian Monsters.

Back on Core Earth, the Rangers were still busy making Cauldron Cakes when the familiar beeping of the Power Watches resounded. "Looks like duty calls." Blackhawk said. 
Naruto opened communications and spoke, "Trouble as usual, Omnus and Alpha?"

"Precisely." replied Omnus. "But this is no ordinary Bloodbeast or Hedrian Monster. You are anout to face Lightning Galaxy, one of the most deadly assassins in the multiverse. You will need to use your cunning and fighting skills to the maximum amount if you are to defeat her. Good luck, Power Rangers." Naruto shut off the watch's communicator and got up.

"All right guys, you know what to do next."

"Right." the other Rangers said. "IT'S MORPHING TIME!"

"SPINOSAURUS!"

"VELOCIRAPTOR!"

"ANKYLOSAURUS!"

"STEGOSAURUS!"

"TRICERATOPS!"

"HADROSAURUS!"

"TYRANNOSAURUS!"

Teleporting into the city, the team performed their usual pose, and were about to announce their arrival, "POWER RANG-", but were suddenly interrupted by a blast from one of Lightning Galaxy's pistols, causing a huge explosion and knocking the team out of position. "Ugh..." what happened...?" Toby groaned, slowly getting up and dusting himself off.

"I'm not-wait, look!" replied Lettuce, pointing to where Lightning Galaxy stood, her pistol's barrel smoking.

"I have no time for your silly little hero antics, Rangers." the assassin said, a not-so-subtle tone of disgust in her voice. "Any last words before I kill you?"

"Yeah." growled Blackhawk. "Seven, in fact. ELECTRIC SABRE!"

"FIRE BLADE!"

"WATER AX!"

"EARTH MACE!"

"WIND STAFF!"

"DIAMOND BOOMERANG!"

"SHADOW DAGGERS!"

Lightning Galaxy scoffed and said, "That's 14 words, imbeciles. And, again, I have no time for your flashy antics. But you're welcome to try and defeat me with your pathetic little weapons." Blackhawk, naturally, charged at her first. He quickly found that he was at a disadvantage as Lightning Galaxy sidestepped him and grabbed him into a chokehold, then knocking the Electric Sabre out of his hands in the struggle. Quickly remembering his more supernatural abilities, Blackhawk attempted to use a Woo Foo Energy Fist in order to free himself, striking at Lightning Galaxy's torso, only for the latter to block his attack effortlessly with one hand. Nonetheless, the resulting energy blast caused the two to fly apart in different directions. Coughing a bit, Blackhawk retrieved the Electro Sabre, and once again charged at Lightning Galaxy. "You just don't learn, do you?" she taunted, before knocking Blackhawk backwards once again, which also had the effect of shocking him with his own Power Weapon. "Anyone else willing to try?"

"I will." Naruto challenged, wielding his Fire Blade with both hands. Lightning Galaxy gave a look that said 'bring it', and Naruto accepted that challenge, unleashing a soaring streak of bright orange flame. Lightning Galaxy redirected the flame back at Naruto knocking him back. Toby tried next, only for the same to happen to him. Lettuce came forward soon afterwards, and was struck down with his own mace after Lightning Galaxy wrestled it out of his hands. Usagi began twirling her Wind Staff to create a powerful gust, but Lightning Galaxy grabbed the staff mid-twirl, and began slowly swinging it around, with Usagi hanging on for dear life. Once Lightning Galaxy let go, Usagi went flying for a few feet and landed on the ground, down for the count. All that was left standing were Pinkie and Ebony.

Ebony had an idea and looked at Pinkie, asking, "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"We combine our Power Weapons?" Pinkie guessed.

"You got it, girl!" Ebony said, taking the Diamond Boomerang and attaching both of the Shadow Daggers to each end. With a shout of "SHADOW DAGGERANG!", Ebony sent the weapon flying towards Lightning Galaxy, who caught it with no effort. "Ffffuck me." the witch swore under her breath before she and Pinkie were hit with their own combined weapon, knocked down in a fiery explosion.

"Now, as I was saying," Lightning Galaxy said, this time unholstering both her pistols. "Enjoy your last moments of life, Power Rangers. I will enjoy taking them from you in slow, painful deaths." Before she could execute the Rangers, however, Lightning Galaxy heard distant stomps that were getting increasingly louder. Looking to see where the sound was coming from, she saw a squadron of Imp Dusters rushing forward, followed closely behind the source of the stomping a massive humanoid Zord, about twenty feet tall, resembling a heavily amored samurai painted in red, black and gold. The torso was adorned by a golden symbol, that of the Hedrian Clan, with the helmet spouting two curved gold horns, indicating just who this superweapon belonged to. "...Well." Lightning Galaxy said flatly. "It seems the cavalry has arrived." Turning to the Rangers, who were slowly getting up, she said, "While there may be a bigger fish on the playing field now, Rangers, I shall return...and we will finish this." With that, she teleported away, cursing under her breath at her most prized kills being taken from her.

"Looks like we got company." Blackhawk muttered.

"You got that right." said Lettuce.

"I say we use the Ultra Power Blaster Cannon to take out the goons, then handle that Megazord." Toby said, which earned nods of agreement. Retrieving their Power Weapons and combining them into the Cannon, the Imp Dusters were quickly taken out. "Alright." said Toby. "On three. One...two...three!"

"WE NEED DINOZORD POWER NOW!" Once the Multimegazord was formed, it was joined on the battlefield by the Velociraptor and Spinosaurus Zords.

"Give it up, Amazoness!" Naruto said. "It's seven against one; you're outmatched!"

"Au, contare, Red Ranger." replied Amazoness. "I have more power." At once she pulled out a silver katana, then gripped the Velociraptor in a chokehold, and kicking the Spinosaurus in the face, leaving both Zords incapacitated for a few short minutes. Using that time to her advantage, Amazoness began pounding the Multimegazord with her katana, causing its alarms go start blaring within the cockpit. Regaining control of his Zord, Blackhawk suddenly let out a barrage of missiles, which hit the Amazord and allowed for an opportunity to attack. 

"Quickly!" Blackhawk urged. "We need to form the Multiultrazord NOW!"

"Right!" the other Rangers said, and once the Multiultrazord was formed, the team summoned the Super Power Sword, and struck the Amazord dead center in the chest, causing it to explode and taking Amazoness with it.

On the Diabolic, Queen Hedrian had filled up the rest of the shelves with busts of her monsters, and placed a bust of Amazoness on the very last empty spot. "So, Amazoness is dead." Vipera said. "That makes you the last of the Hedrian Clan. What will you do now?"

"Nothing." Hedrian stated matter-of-factly. "Since I'm marrying Diabolica, I needn't worry."

"Hmph." replied Vipera, who began filing her nails. "And just when I thought we'd be rid of you." This was met with a blast f enery from both Diabolica and Hedrian, causing Vipera to yelp in fright.

The Rangers teleported back to Ebony's kitchen, which coincided with the oven timer beeping. "Looks like the cakes are done." Lettuce said, and went to get them out of the oven to start cooling. A few minutes later, Lettuce handed them out, and once he took one for himself, he sat next to Toby on Ebony's couch. "Before he dig in," he said. "I propose a toast to Blackhawk. He helped us out in defeating the Amazord. TO BLACKHAWK!"

"TO BLACKHAWK!" the other Rangers said, then they began to eat.

[4EverGreen]

Land of Confusion!

 

(This episode has been slightly modified from it's original version. It has been formatted to run in the time allotted to it).

 

It is early afternoon on the soccer field at the Coastal Falls High School; this time, the home team, the Coastal Falls Chameleons; wearing green uniforms, are playing against the KO-35 team, and it is the final game of the school year. Naruto, Usagi, Toby, Lettuce, and Pinkie are once again playing with Bash and Smash, but BlackHawk is nowhere to be seen. Toby looks up, and he says: “Guys, do you know who THAT is coaching the opposing team?!”

 

Pinkie asks: “No! Who is it?!”

Toby says: “That's FREAKING Andros! He's like a...super Legend!”

Naruto rolls his eyes and asks: “What's so GREAT about the guy who KILLED Zordon?!”

Lettuce says: “Zordon was never really DEAD! His power was too greatly intertwined with the Morphing Grid, so that is how he was able to come back to life. Although, I still haven't figured out just exactly HOW Zordon was able to come back; I don't think he was able to do it by himself. Surely, he must have had SOME help!”

 

Usagi says: “I agree with you, but what I'm wondering is; where is BlackHawk?! Usually, HE'S the one who's able to spot these veteran Rangers! And why would he MISS this soccer match?! It's the last one of the season!”

 

Ebony and D.O.G., come running up, and Ebony says: “Good, you guys haven't started yet.”

Pinkie asks: “Ebony, have you been secretly doing the NASTY with BlackHawk in the Boys Shower Room AGAIN?!!!”

Ebony rolls her eyes and says: “First of all, while I do admire his...immense GIFT to the world, that would be...EW!!!! NO!!!! I'm saving myself for marriage! Second of all, D.O.G., is the one who knows where he currently is! Ask him!”

 

D.O.G., looks at the Rangers says: “BlackHawk wanted me to give you guys this message, and he regretfully says that he will be unable to play today, being too busy with something that is FAR more important to him!”

Naruto looks shocked, and asks: “WHAT?! Just WHAT could be more important than helping us CLINCH the Team of the Year Award?!”

D.O.G., seeing that Bash and Smash are nearby, and not wanting them to hear 'sensitive' information, decides to say: “BlackHawk has been wanting to BETTER himself ever since that 'incident' two days ago, with...'You Know Who', if you know what I mean!”

 

Naruto gets mad, and says: “UGH!!!! I can't BELIEVE, that he's USING that special...'Training Place' for HIMSELF, and he didn't even invite ME to play with him!”

 

Ebony says: “Personally, I like it! He's dedicated! We'll need that against that vile woman!”

Usagi says: “That's not ALL that we're going to need, if you know what I mean!”

Lettuce says: “I know what you mean, but we can't talk about it now, we've got a game to play; WITH, or WITHOUT BlackHawk!”

Toby says: “Agreed, let's PLAY ball!” /

 

The action shifts to the Command Center; where Omnus and Alpha 8 are watching the action on the Viewing Globe. BlackHawk gets out of the Simulation Planet, and he's looking all sweaty! Alpha 8 says: “Look who just got finished with Level Seven difficulty, on Planet Onyx!”

BlackHawk pants, and he says: “Nothing, like fighting against forty monsters at the same time, to help you realize how helpful your team-mates are!”

Omnus says: “Your dedication is very admirable, BlackHawk. But why are you missing out on the soccer game? You were looking forward to it all year.”

BlackHawk gives Omnus a bewildered look, and BlackHawk asks: “Are you kidding me?! Did you see how EASILY Galaxy Lightning THRASHED us two days ago, and hardly broke a sweat doing so?! If your analysis of that fight was correct, AND it probably was, than Galaxy Lightning is actually STRONGER than Emperor Diabolica!”

Omnus sighs, and says: “Yes, Fuhrer Saturn WOULD be capable of producing servants and monsters STRONGER than Emperor Diabolica can!”

Alpha 8 says: “Luckily for us, Emperor Diabolica isn't interested in capitalizing on the strengths of Fuhrer Saturn!”

 

BlackHawk says: “But that's not ALWAYS going to be the case! Queen Hedrian just lost the last member of her Hedrian Clan. Now that she's been backed into a corner, she's going to come out swinging with something DRASTIC! She's BOUND to save her best plan as her LAST plan, and I have to be ready for it! I can't let myself get caught off guard again!”

 

Omnus says: “You all survived Galaxy Lightning's attack once.”

BlackHawk, correcting, says: “We got LUCKY once! But luck will only serve you for so long, than it can turn on you when it is LEAST convenient for you!”

Alpha 8 says: “You do have a point, there. Queen Hedrian IS descended from Master Vile, and if she is ANYTHING like her father, she is not one to give up, without coming up with a GREAT plan!

 

BlackHawk says: “That's precisely the REASON for my training so hard! We have to be prepared for whatever Queen Hedrian is going to THROW at us! Only skills, brains, and brawn will help all of us see through the upcoming battle against Queen Hedrian and Emperor Diabolica. After all, if we CAN'T even defeat Galaxy Lightning, what chance would we have against Radiguet?”

 

Omnus says: “There's another danger to worry about, besides having to take care of Emperor Diabolica and Queen Hedrian.”

 

BlackHawk asks: “What would THAT be?!”

Alpha 8 says: “I was doing an analysis of the last battle, and there WAS a reason why you Rangers didn't perform so well, besides being at a physical disadvantage.”

BlackHawk asks: “Well, what was the problem?”

Omnus says: “You know how the Morphing Grid derives the power of the dinosaurs through the power of the Warp?”

 

BlackHawk says: “I'm aware of how the OTHER Rangers' powers are connected through the Morphing Grid; I don't HAVE such a luxury! My Woo Foo Powers are the only thing keeping the Orange Ruby going, not that it hasn't been very USEFUL!”

 

Alpha 8 says: “Well, it seems like the Warp is becoming...how should I put this? A bit unstable.”

 

BlackHawk asks: “What does THAT even mean?!”

Omnus says: “We haven't determined the cause of this instability yet. It could be something huge; like a great massive evil gathering power somewhere, or it could be nothing at all; like a regular fluctuation within the Morphing Grid, caused by sun spots or solar storms.”

BlackHawk asks: “And what if it IS something huge? What would that mean for my friends?”

 

Alpha 8 sighs and says: “Aye-yai-yai-yai-yai! If it IS something huge, it would mean that your friends won't be able to MAINTAIN their Dinosaur based powers for much longer!”

 

BlackHawk gulps, and says: “Suddenly, saving the world does NOT seem as easy as it initially seemed! Well, wouldn't be the FIRST time I faced off against such extreme odds! I'll just have to have enough fighting strength for ALL of us!”

 

Omnus says: “Just keep this information on the down-low for now. I don't want to have to worry the other Rangers prematurely if I don't have to.”

BlackHawk sighs, and says: “I can keep a secret, I'll keep MY Ranger powers either way. But, I'm not sure if D.O.G., can keep a secret, though.”

Alpha 8 says: “What makes you say that?”

BlackHawk says: “D.O.G., MIGHT be a dog, but he's very SHARP!!!! He's very in tune with sensitive information like this. He's BOUND to notice something is wrong soon, if he HASN'T already!”

 

Omnus says: “You will all know the truth when the time comes.”

BlackHawk says: “I'm sure we will. I just have a funny feeling, that we might soon face one of the hardest challenges that we've EVER faced as a Ranger team YET!”

Alpha 8 says: “Your instincts certainly serve you well, BlackHawk. Just know that whatever happens to you Rangers, the Morphing Grid will ALWAYS be ready to help out, whenever a Ranger NEEDS it!”

 

BlackHawk says: “That makes me feel a whole lot BETTER, about the whole thing!” /

 

Meanwhile, on the Diabolic, Queen Hedrian is getting ready for her long-awaited wedding, to the illustrious Emperor Diabolica. But she looks on the shelf of Fallen Monsters, and realizes that her once mighty army of dozens, has all been reduced to just her. Drako comes in, and puts the final touches on Queen Hedrian's dress. Drako says: “Cheer up, my soon to be MRS. Diabolica! You're going to have EVERYTHING a Queen could want! A luxurious wedding; a banquet, celebrated wedding guests, and wedding gifts to DIE for!”

Queen Hedrian screams: “Don't USE that WORD!!!!”

Drako is taken aback, and asks: “Which word?!”

Queen Hedrian looks sourly at Drako, and she says: “The 'D' word; DIE!!!!”

And as she points to her fallen servant memorial, Drako says: “I see; bad choice of a word on my part.”

 

Queen Hedrian sighs, and says: “Don't get me wrong, it will be nice to have a new husband. It just won't mean the same without all my loyal servants to back me up.”

Drako says: “Soon, we will serve you the same way we serve Emperor Diabolica. Baphomet, Circe, and Kraky will GLADLY lay down their lives for you if they need to.”

Queen Hedrian asks: “What about you and Vipera?”

Drako says: “Emperor Diabolica NEEDS me! With the remaining Hedrian Eggs being destroyed by Galaxy Lightning, you will need my Blood Beast making skills to fall back on! And Vipera? I'm not even sure if she's completely loyal to Emperor Diabolica, let alone you! I'd suggest setting up security to keep an eye on her, if I were you.”

 

Queen Hedrian sincerely says: “Thank you for the concern, I feel SO much better!”

And an organ is heard in the main chamber, which means that the ceremony is starting up! Drako says: “That would be Fuhrer Saturn! He's always wanted to play at a festive ceremony! Now go out there Queen Hedrian, and break a leg!”

 

Queen Hedrian says: “Oh, I will Drako!” Than under her breath, she says: “Just not my own leg if I have anything to say about it!”

 

Emperor Diabolica comes walking out, Baphomet is forced to be the ring bearer, as Emperor Diabolica is holding a pair of wilted flowers, and a giant box of chocolates, saying: “Evil Love Kisses.” And in tinier words, saying: “A Planet Onyx product, for the evil tyrant in YOU!”

Vipera is the flower girl, and she's throwing flowers everywhere! Vipera shouts: “Hear ye, hear ye! Today is the day! Queen Hedrian is marrying Emperor Diabolica; Khorne HELP us, and Emperor Diabolica wants you ALL on your best behavior!”

 

Circe says: “Yeah, no screw-ups, Kraky!”

Kraky says: “Same to you, Circe!”

Vipera says: “I'm serious! If anything goes wrong, he will blame the two of you, Baphomet, and DRAKO for it!”

 

Baphomet asks: “Why not YOU?!”

Vipera smugly says: “Because I'm planning on NOT screwing up today!”

Galaxy Lightning says: “Tall words, coming from someone who has YET to best the Rangers in a fight!”

 

Vipera sourly says: “Well, maybe if the Rangers weren't so DAMNED coordinated all the time!”

 

Fuhrer Saturn plays, and in a German accent, he sings: “Here comes the Queen! Ain't she a SCREAM?! There has never been anyone quite as mean! Here comes the Queen! Here comes the Queen!”

 

Emperor Diabolica and Queen Hedrian's eyes meet, and she says: “You don't know how long I've waited for a moment like this!”

 

Emperor Diabolica says: “This is just the thing I need to complete my Empire. Soon, I will have the perfect wife, and we will see the perfect end to the Power Rangers!”

 

Zero Girl 01 says: “Great! Let's get this wedding on the road!”

Queen Hedrian says: “No! It's always a tradition for the bride to be given away by her father!”

 

Drako says: “That's right! Where is Master Vile and Rito Revolto?! They said they would BE here!”

 

Fuhrer Saturn chuckles, and he says: “That stingy old FOOL!!!! He probably heard that I would be the one PLAYING, and he decided that he COULDN'T handle the superior Competition! HA, HA, HA!!!!”

 

Than LIGHTNING inexplicably strikes him, but it doesn't COME from ANYONE on the ship! And a sinister organ music starts playing! Baphomet asks: “Fuhrer Saturn?!”

Fuhrer Saturn chillingly says: “I'm not the one playing it!”

Galaxy Lightning asks: “Who is it?!”

Queen Hedrian, both frightened AND excited at the same time, says: “That's, my DADDY!!!!”

 

And in a flash of powerful energy, Master Vile and Rito Revolto appear on the Diabolic! Master Vile goes straight over to his daughter, and he gives her a loving hug! Master Vile says: “My lovely daughter! How good to see you alive and well! I'm glad to see that at least ONE of my children managed to amount to SOMETHING!!!!”

Rito Revolto shockingly says: “I'm right HERE you know!”

Master Vile smugly says: “I am very well aware of that, and when you STOP being stupid for one nano-second, I might actually TREAT you with some respect!”

Drako, worrying, asks: “Kraky, what is Master Vile's Power Level?!”

Kraky uses his scanner, but it breaks! Kraky says: “What?! My scanner went to 22,000; than it went and got all...breaky, on me!”

 

Galaxy Lightning scoffs, and says: “Your scouters are LEMONS!!!! I've got the newest scanners on the market! It goes all the way to 530,000!”

Drako asks: “Well, what is it?!”

Galaxy Lightning checks the power level, and she is most NOTABLY afraid! Galaxy Lightning gulps, and says: “His power level, clocks in at 66,600!!!! His power alone is enough to crush ALL of us!”

 

Vipera says: “No wonder Queen Hedrian wasn't worried about losing her entire army!”

Master Vile says: “You must forgive my tardiness, but I have ALWAYS believed in making a grand entrance! You are NOT a true villain unless you HAVE one!”

Rito Revolto says: “I must say, Emperor Diabolica certainly makes a better husband than that LAST guy our sister chose! Demon King what's his face?!”

Queen Hedrian says: “Rest assured, I plan on 'Taking care' of him VERY well!”

Master Vile winks at Queen Hedrian, as he IMMEDIATELY grasps the concept of her plan! Master Vile says: “I always KNEW it was a good idea to have a THIRD child!”

Rito Revolto says: “Thank you, Dad!”

Master Vile says: “Not you; HER!!!! Come with me, I want to talk to you in private, my daughter!”

 

Drako asks: “Master Vile!!!! Something has been really BUGGING me! Just HOW did you and Rito SURVIVE Zordon's Energy Wave ANYWAYS?! I thought you were all...?!”

Master Vile chillingly asks: “DEAD?! HA, HA, HA!!!! By all rights, we SHOULD be dead! Zordon's Energy Wave, caused by that LOSER Andros; swept through the entire known universe at the time! Nothing could stop it! It looked like that I, Rito, the infant Thrax, and YOU; would soon be destroyed!”

Drako asks: “I was THERE?!”

Master Vile says: “You were still a toddler at the time, you wouldn't have remembered. But your father, Finster asked me to take care of you in case anything happened to him, and Thrax as well. Anyways, it looked like Zordon's Energy Wave would finish the four of us off! But at that moment, Thrax HARNESSED his TRUE inner power!!!! He threw up a POWERFUL sphere of protective energy around us! Thusly, we were spared the destructive end the Machine Empire faced, and avoided the even WORSE fate, of turning into non-evil, non-magic HUMANS, like those FOOLS, Rita and ZEDD did!”

 

Rito says: “But, Rita was your OLDEST daughter!”

Master Vile EVILLY says: “I HAVE no OLDEST daughter! As far as I'm concerned, she's DEAD to ME!!!! Just like all the RANGERS will be! I deserve REVENGE against the Rangers for what they've taken AWAY from ME!!!! An evil daughter, my only grand-child, all of my lovely Hedrian's LOYAL monsters...I will HELP her BRING justice to those Power Rangers, once and for all!”

 

Zero Girl 01, and the other Zero Girls come rushing up, and Zero Girl 01 says: “And what do you want us to...?”

But Zero Girl 01 NEVER gets to finish her thought, because as Master Vile and Queen Hedrian enter Hedrian's private room, Master Vile produces a sound-proof and shatter-proof force field, locking everybody out, and keeping everybody from hearing their private conversation! Queen Hedrian says: “Thank you, dad. It would be...inconvenient to have THOSE creeps to overhear my TRUE intentions!”

Master Vile chuckles evilly, and he says: “You always WERE my FAVORITE daughter! You always had so much more cunning and ambition than your two older siblings ever did! Now tell me, what is your end game with Emperor Diabolica?”

 

Queen Hedrian evilly says: “I want to take OVER Emperor Diabolica's forces; they would be the PERFECT replacement for the troops I lost! But in order to do that, I'd need Emperor Diabolica OUT of the way!”

 

Master Vile asks: “So, what's to stop you from killing him now?”

Queen Hedrian sighs, and says: “Well, it's Drako, unfortunately. He wouldn't give me the Love Potion to GET Emperor Diabolica to fall in love with me, unless I promised to NOT hurt Emperor Diabolica! I had to take the Unbreakable VOW promise, and I dare NOT break it; lest I suffer a fate FAR worse than DEATH!”

Master Vile sighs, and says: “Drako, just hasn't been completely sane OR predictable ever since he read that sacred tome of evil arts that I keep lying around my house. Thrax read it when he came of age, and he went off the DEEP end in trying to destroy the Power Rangers!”

Queen Hedrian says: “So needless to say, I can't actually KILL Emperor Diabolica MYSELF; so I need to have someone I can trust ARRANGE it for me! I was going to ask Amazoness and Galaxy Lightning to do it; but Amazoness bit it against the Power Rangers recently, and Galaxy Lightning has shown me that she can NOT be trusted! Galaxy Lightning destroyed the LAST of my Hedrian Eggs!”

Master Vile chillingly asks: “All of them? What about your FIRST Hedrian Egg?!”

Queen Hedrian is taken aback, and she asks: “My FIRST Egg?!”

Master Vile says: “The one that Mirror gave you when she became your FIRST loyal servant! You DID keep it, didn't you?!”

 

Queen Hedrian pulls out a BLACK Magic Purse! It's Magic, because as she rummages through it, a bunch of shrieks and screams can be heard, as if the Purse is DEEPER than it actually is! But sure enough, Queen Hedrian pulls out ONE, Final Hedrian Egg, pulsating with SERIOUS amounts of evil energy! Queen Hedrian is genuinely shocked, and she says: “The power in this egg is OFF the charts!!!!”

Master Vile says: “This egg was TAINTED, by the very evil of Radiguet long ago! He hadn't yet promoted himself to the God of Judgment, yet! This egg has been increasing in power over the last 6,000 years! If you USE the power of this egg, you could SEND the Rangers somewhere, that monsters ALWAYS rule, they ALWAYS fight, and they ALWAYS win! The dark MIRROR dimension, Queen Hedrian! That's where Mirror came from! And the Mirror that exists THERE, can DO what Mirror didn't get a CHANCE to do HERE; DESTROY your Power Rangers!”

Queen Hedrian looks like she's actually THINKING about it, and she says: “Radiguet...is BEYOND evil! Even by YOUR standards, Father! But...nothing else I've thrown at the Rangers has worked yet! I've tried EVERYTHING else! And as long as WE'RE not meeting with Radiguet ourselves, it SHOULD be safe! Besides, think of what a wonderful wedding present you have given us; to rid us BOTH of the Power Rangers! I can think of NOTHING better!”

Master Vile says: “And I give you my word, that once the Rangers are out of the way; Emperor Diabolica will be NEXT! It's nothing personal, but our TRUE family must ALWAYS remain the most evil within the Universe! Nothing else is allowed to take our DESTINY away from us!”

Queen Hedrian says: “I agree! Let's TAKE this egg, and CHANGE the world the Rangers KNOW, by taking them AWAY from it, FOREVER! My father, do it, NOW!!!!”

Master Vile takes away the Force Field, and Baphomet asks: “What were you talking about in there?!”

 

But neither Queen Hedrian nor Master Vile answer him; and Master Vile recites: “Ancient black magic of evil; listen now and HEED my call! Use the power, of ALL the fallen Hedrian Monsters; INFUSE it into this FINAL egg, TRANSPORT the Power Rangers to the Dark Mirror Dimension, and see to it, the Rangers will NEVER return!!!!”

 

And the creepy organ music plays, as all of the busts of the fallen Hedrian monsters, gets INFUSED into the Final EGG, and the Hedrian Egg hatches! But instead of producing a monster, a light appears, and it zooms off, away from the Diabolic! Vipera, worrying, asks: “What's going to happen?!”

Queen Hedrian smiles and says: “The dawning of a NEW era! One where you will have a TRUE Queen; and the Rangers are destroyed forever more! And don't feel like you're being left out, Fuhrer Saturn! You, and YOUR servants will get YOURS soon enough!”

Fuhrer Saturn defiantly says: “I'll believe THAT when I see it come to PASS!” /

It is half-time during the soccer game, the Coastal Falls Chameleons are taking five. Woolbur Fleecely is there, having been brought in as a pinch-hitter in place of BlackHawk. Pinkie pants, and she says: “This isn't so easy without BlackHawk!”

 

Woolbur pants, and he says: “This isn't so easy, period!”

Naruto pants, and he says: “I hope BlackHawk makes his training worth our while! But he better hurry up, and get his BUTT down here!”

BlackHawk runs up, and he asks: “Did someone mention my name?!”

Toby pants, and he says: “It's about time!”

BlackHawk says: “Well, our 'special' mentor said that I trained enough for now, and he wanted to see me help you finish this little game! I see that we've got some worthy competition today!”

 

Lettuce pants, and he says: “You mean Andros and the KO-35 team? Yeah, they have NOT been making it easy for us in this last game of the school year!”

BlackHawk reaches into his orange back-pack, and he says: “Well, you'll be happy to know I brought you a little pick-me-up, courtesy of Sans!”

And BlackHawk pulls out seven cans of Orange Crush! Usagi pants, and she says: “Wow! That is SO awesome!”

 

BlackHawk says: “With Sans being...Sans; when my mom found out how GOOD his Orange Crush worked at bringing people to full strength, she didn't want the stuff to go away. And since my mom is rich, she bought Sans and the parent company out, and now, this Orange Crush is now the prime choice, for aspiring champions everywhere!”

 

The soccer players each take a can of Orange Crush, and they soon feel refreshed, and back to FULL strength! D.O.G., says: “This is great! Now we'll be ready for ANYTHING!”

And as soon as D.O.G. SAYS that, magical lightning bolts QUICKLY rain down from the sky, striking everyone ON the field unconscious, except for Woolbur, the Power Rangers, D.O.G., and Andros! Usagi notices that ALL the watches have frozen STIFF, as though time ITSELF has completely stopped on Core Earth! Usagi also notices the darkening sky, and the sudden gust of wind! Usagi asks: “What is going ON here?!”

Andros says: “I know what THIS is, Power Rangers! It's Master Vile! He's BACK!”

BlackHawk asks: “Queen Hedrian's FATHER?!!!”

Than the light from the Hedrian Egg zooms around, and magically transforms into a TORNADO!! Master Vile telepathically says: “It is FOOLISH to RESIST me, Rangers! It's time for YOU to find out, what TRUE evil is all ABOUT!!!!”

 

And the tornado quickly moves, and sucks up Toby, Pinkie, Usagi, Ebony, Lettuce, and Naruto; and effortlessly throws away Woolbur and D.O.G., like rag dolls! It prepares to take BlackHawk, but Andros steps in between BlackHawk and the tornado! Master Vile says: “Out of my WAY; foolish MORTAL!!!! Or you won't live LONG!!!!”

 

And the tornado throws Andros a FEW feet away, and grabs BlackHawk TO!!!! Andros jumps towards the tornado in an attempt to stop it, but the tornado throws Andros even FURTHER away; all the way to Root Core near Briarwood! Andros looks desperately at the tornado, as it magically disappears from sight, and he says: “CURSES!!!! He's taken them!”

 

An old female appear, and sighs as she says: “I can't believe my father still refuses to see the light, the way I have.”

 

Andros gasps in shock, and he says: “I know of you!”

An elderly man, with long white hair, a long white beard, a flowing white cloak, and a mystical 'Z' Staff appears. He says: “You mean, that you know of us!”

Andros says: “Emperess Rita Repulsa and Lord Zedd!!!!”

Rita chuckles, and she says: “We haven't gone by those names in a LONG time! I'm the Magi Mother.”

 

Zedd says: “And I am her male counter-part, the Magi Father. We are in charge of preserving the balance here in and around Briarwood.”

Andros asks: “What are you doing here?! I thought you were either vanquished by Zordon's Energy Wave, or turned into normal humans!”

Rita sighs, and says: “Well, we were turned into normal humans at first. Because of our love for each other, it was determined to make us good enough to be deemed as spared. We lost our magical powers as a result; but at that point, we just wanted to live normal lives from that point onwards. But when Radiguet revealed his sinister mug in 1999, we both realized that we couldn't escape the power for long. Alpha V came out of hiding, and revealed to us that Zordon was ACTUALLY still alive! His soul had been scattered across the universe into millions of soul particles, but he was still alive! He could be put back together, but it would require a great deal of effort and sacrifice on our parts. We both had to agree to tap into the Morphing Grid. In exchange, it would restore our magical powers, but we had to give up the youth we had gained from Zordon, and we could only use our magical powers for the forces of good. It turned out to be a good thing for the both of us. While Zedd dedicated himself to searching throughout the universe for Zordon's soul particles, and put him back together; I focused on staying here.”

 

Andros says: “So, you were the one who was responsible for the creation of the Power Rangers Mystic Force team?”

 

Zedd says: “Not directly, but she was the one responsible for creating their powers in the first place. She was also the one, who was responsible, for creating the force field, that is keeping Radiguet from ever invading here, ever again!”

 

Andros gasps, and he says: “I remember now! In 1999, we had a HUGE mission back on Earth! With the help of a new, Earth-bound team of Power Rangers called the Power Rangers Jet Fusion; it took BOTH of our combined mights to REPEL Radiguet away from the Earth! But I don't know why I forgot about that fact until just now!”

Rita says: “He must have wiped your memories of your victory! He always HAS been a bit of a SORE loser when it came to things like universal domination!”

Zedd says: “And Radiguet, unlike us when we used to be evil, is not one to make the same mistakes TWICE! That's why it was important for me to find all of Zordon's soul particles, and put him back together. Not an easy task, I might add. There were a lot of soul particles to find, and the process could only work, if I managed to find every single piece. It took the better part of two centuries, but a couple of years ago, I finally finished. Now Zordon once again resides in the Power Chamber, and all three of us, have been busy trying to figure out a solution for dealing with Radiguet for when he inevitably tries to come back.”

Andros says: “Seeing as how I don't want the current team of Rangers to meet their end at the hands of ANYBODY, not even your own father or sister, Rita; I need to know if there's any way I can help them!”

 

Rita says: “Of course there is a way to help them! While I am personally bound and forbidden from hurting anyone with my magic powers, that doesn't mean that I can't USE my powers, to help out someone else who can bring those two to justice!”

 

Andros asks: “Are you ACTUALLY utilizing a loophole?!”

Zedd chuckles, and he says: “That's the advantage of having formerly been evil! You realize that a loophole can be used for either bad uses, or good uses! We just figured out how to use them for the advantage of the Power Rangers, if we need to!”

 

Rita says: “And it's important that we do so, to! Those Rangers may be the KEY to bringing Radiguet to justice, once and for all!”

 

Andros asks: “Those seven?!”

Zedd says: “Zordon, with his power of foresight, has foreseen the day when seven Rangers, of seven different origins, will one day band together, and bring an end to Radiguet's evil, once and for all!”

 

Andros asks: “And Zordon believes that this...Power Rangers Multiverse Force team is the one that will do it?”

 

Rita says: “Eventually. It will take an awful lot of training, and will probably necessitate at least ONE power upgrade. But Zordon tends to have a pretty good track record, when it comes to his ability to foresee things accurately.”

 

Andros says: “No argument there! So, can you help me rescue the other Rangers from wherever they've been sent to?!”

 

A magical image appears in the sky, and Omnus says: “We're working on the solution right now!”

Andros asks: “ZORDON?!!!”

Alpha 8 pipes in, and says: “Not quite. This is Omnus, Zordon's son! And I am a descendant of Alpha V. I am Alpha 8!”

 

Andros asks: “What has happened to your Rangers?!”

Omnus says: “We've been working feverishly to find out! So far, we've been able to deduce that Master Vile has sent them to some kind of a Dark Mirror Dimension!”

Andros says: “That doesn't sound so good!”

Alpha 8 says: “Aye-yai-yai-yai-yai! It certainly isn't! The power of the Hedrian Egg that Master Vile USED to achieve this magic, was tainted by Radiguet himself! There's no telling what kind of evil power Radiguet used to taint that egg! Wherever the Rangers have wound up, they're going to have quite a time facing off against whatever EVIL ends up being in the Dark Mirror Dimension!”

 

Andros asks: “You mean you DON'T know where your Rangers are?!”

Omnus says: “Master Vile's magical storm not only transported the Rangers away AND froze time for all the NORMAL citizens on Core Earth; it also seems to have cut the Power Rangers OFF from us! We haven't been able to just contact them and transport them back to us! We can't even get an automatic lock on their location! We're having to go through all the possible Dark Mirror Dimension locations they could have been put in, MANUALLY! It's not as easy as it sounds!”

 

Alpha 8 says: “Rita and Zedd, I know we don't normally ask favors from you two, but we really NEED one from the two of you THIS time!”

Zedd asks: “What kind of help do you need?”

Omnus says: “We need you to get your magic ready, to send Andros to the Dark Mirror Dimension, once we FIND the correct one, to help rescue our Rangers from whichever Dimension they happen to be in! We can help keep a lock on Andros, so once the Rangers contact him, we can transport them back here all together!”

 

Rita says: “That definitely sounds like a plan!”

Alpha 8 says: “We'll let you know the MOMENT we find the Dimension the Power Rangers have been taken to, and you can make the final adjustments to your magic spell!”

Zedd says: “Very well, then! We'll start the magic incantations immediately!”

The magical image of Omnus and Alpha 8 disappear, and Rita and Zedd begin to simultaneously chant in a strange, foreign language that Andros has never heard of, sounding like a mixture between the ancient Gaelic, Celtic, and Phoenician languages! Andros worrying, says: “Oh, I do hope the Rangers can keep themselves safe, wherever they've been taken to!” /

 

The seven Rangers, find themselves being hurled through the magic tornado, through time and space, swirling past multiple dimensions of various realities, until one by one, the magic tornado DROPS them into a very DARK, very eerie, very CREEPY mirror version of what APPEARS to be Coastal Falls! Ebony asks: “Where are we?! This doesn't look like home at all! It looks like a twisted version of a Slytherin Halloween...that was too creepy even for Draco Malfoy's standards!”

 

Pinkie actually looks worried, and she says: “Even Discord isn't capable of creating a nightmare like this, not even on his WORST days!”

Naruto says: “You KNOW something is bad whenever Pinkie is WORRIED, because she's NEVER worried!”

Toby activates his communicator, and says: “Omnus, Alpha, come in!”

But he gets no response! Lettuce says: “Nothing! This is bad!”

Usagi says: “Let's transport back!”

And Usagi attempts to do so, but she gets slightly SHOCKED as she tries! BlackHawk gets worried, and he says: “I don't think THAT'S going to work!”

Lettuce asks: “What's going on here, anyways?! Why does this look so much like home, but doesn't FEEL like it?!”

 

A creepy voice laughs, and says: “AH, HA, HA, HA!!!! Poor, pitiful Power Rangers! Always so LOGICAL, aren't you?!!!”

 

BlackHawk gets unnerved, and he says: “That VOICE!!!! I've heard that voice before!!!!”

Radiguet flashily appears in front of them, and he laughs, and says: “AH, HA, HA, HA!!!! Surprised to see a TRUE master of evil SO soon?!”

Toby says: “I've heard about you! You are the villain that the Power Rangers Jet Fusion team defeated!”

 

Radiguet groans, and he bitterly says: “Don't you DARE remind me! And how can they have TRULY defeated me, if I am STILL alive?! Not even Andros and his team of Rangers could DESTROY me, and they were LEAGUES stronger than any of YOU are!!!!”

 

Naruto angrily says: “You DARE to doubt MY power?!!!”

And he rushes forward, and BlackHawk desperately says: “Naruto, you really CAN'T!!!!”

Naruto says: “Fire Fox PUNCH!!!!”

And Naruto's left arm connects with Radiguet's stomach, but Radiguet doesn't even FLINCH, and instead, Naruto winces back in pain, and says: “OW!!!! OW; OW!!!! I think I just broke my arm while punching C'thulu!!!!”

 

Radiguet, unamused, says: “You have a WEAK spirit, weak powers, a weaker discipline, and a nearly non-existent ability to listen to those who KNOW better!”

Usagi boldly says: “I'm not giving up! It's MORPHING time! / Hadrosaurus! / Wind Staff! Now you'll see who you're dealing with!”

 

And Usagi fiercely prepares to strike Radiguet, but without utilizing ANY effort at ALL; Radiguet uses merely ONE finger, easily BLOCKS all of Usagi's attacks, and EASILY blasts Usagi back with just ONE finger laser!!!! Usagi says: “Woah! That did NOT go at all the way I planned!”

Pinkie says: “She needs help!”

Ebony says: “I agree! It's MORPHING time!” /

Ebony says: “Velociraptor!” / Pinkie says: “Ankylosaurus!” /

Pinkie says: “Let's do this! Diamond Boomerang!”

Ebony says: “Shadow Daggers!”

Pinkie and Ebony simultaneously say: “Shadow Daggerang!”

And they fire it at Radiguet, but Radiguet merely screams: “AHHH!!!!”

And he BLOWS the attack right back AT them!!!! Pinkie says: “WOAH!!!! He repelled it by merely using his voice! I guess his words were as LOUD as his action!”

Lettuce says: “We need to STOP this guy!”

Toby says: “No argument, there! It's MORPHING time!” /

Toby says: “Stegosaurus!” / Lettuce says: “Triceratops!” /

Toby says: “Water Ax! Tidal Wave ATTACK!!!!”

But Radiguet is STILL unconcerned, and BLOCKS the deluge with just ONE hand, and EASILY pushes it BACK onto Toby! Toby says: “Man! I'm all washed up!”

Lettuce says: “Quit playing around and fight fair! Earth Mace! Try this on for size! Tectonic Plate Attack!”

 

And Lettuce slams his mace into the Earth, and BLASTS of magma and hardened rocks BLAST towards Radiguet! Radiguet eagerly says: “FINALLY! A DECENT challenge! Gallic GUN!!!!”

And Radiguet obliterates every single object that Lettuce can produce! Lettuce says: “His attacks are too fast and strong! I can't make a hit!”

Radiguet evilly says: “And now, it's YOUR turn!!!!”

BlackHawk says: “Woo Foo LIGHTNING!!!!”

And with a fierce strike of electricity, BlackHawk ACTUALLY hits Radiguet in the face, and he starts BLEEDING!!!! Radiguet shockingly asks: “BLOOD?! I HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE YOU!!!! I'm going to kill you extra PAINFULLY!!!! Red LIGHTNING!!!!”

BlackHawk doesn't even go into his morphing pose, and says: “Spinosaurus!!!!”

And BlackHawk's Orange Ranger armor manages to repel Radiguet's attack away from him!

Radiguet chuckles and he says: “AH, HA, HA!!!! So, you're not as COMPLETELY weak and helpless as I had initially thought! In a thousand years, you might even be able to last six HOURS against me!”

Lettuce says: “I'm ready to wipe that creepy SMUG off his face!”

BlackHawk says: “He may be stronger than any other monster we've fought so far, but there's STILL only ONE of him! All of us together, we can achieve ANYTHING!”

Naruto stops wincing, and he says: “Right! It's MORPHING time! / Tyrannosaurus! / Flame Sword!”

 

Radiguet sinisterly chuckles: “AH, HA, HA, HA!!!! Do you think that's going to make a bit of difference?!!! It clearly doesn't matter HOW many of you Morphed FREAKS there are; it will NEVER be enough to DEFEAT me!!!!”

 

Toby says: “Maybe, but you'll never know unless you try it for yourself!”

Naruto says: “Usagi, let's try it again! Use your Wind Staff Gust!”

Usagi says: “Right! Wind Staff, Gale Force Attack!!!!”

Naruto ignites his sword and says: “Flame Sword Inferno!!!!”

And the combined attack, turns the winds into a swirling fire tornado; but Radiguet merely blocks with TWO hands, and STOPS the attack dead COLD!!!! Usagi worrying, says: “NOTHING AGAIN!!!!”

Radiguet looks at his charred hands, and he says: “That...hurt. THAT ACTUALLY HURT!!!!”

 

And he once again throws red lightning at the two of them, and they both get flung backwards! Lettuce says: “Toby, combine your attack with mine!”

Toby says: “Good idea! Tidal Wave Attack!”

Lettuce says: “Tectonic Plate Attack!”

And Toby's attack MIXES with Lettuce's attack, and creates a pit of QUICKSAND beneath Radiguet, and quickly builds up, to create a bond of quick-drying cement around Radiguet! Toby says: “Naruto, Usagi, try that trick again, NOW!!!!”

 

Naruto says: “Right!”

Usagi and Naruto simultaneously say: “Gale Force INFERNO!!!!”

And the attack FLIES toward Radiguet, and it makes things for Radiguet QUITE uncomfortable!!!! Naruto says: “So what was that about ME being WEAK?! Is THIS painful enough for YOU?! I'd give you a break, but it feels pretty GOOD from THIS end!!!!”

 

But Radiguet merely FLASHES a creepy smile, and the Rangers quickly realize that even THIS attack isn't working! And Radiguet EASILY breaks free from his Earthen prison, and sends the shards of hardened Earth flying all around! Radiguet shakes himself off, and asks: “Are you finished?!”

Ebony pants, and says: “No, but YOU are!”

Pinkie says: “Don't you know, you can NEVER beat the Power Rangers?!”

Radiguet evilly says: “Beat you?! Haven't you REALIZED?! I've already WON!!!!”

And Radiguet unleashes a TORRENT of BLACK power, that the Rangers have NEVER witnessed before, simultaneously causing earthquakes, tornadoes, lightning, fire, and high force winds blowing sharp stones!!!! Toby says: “This doesn't make any SENSE!!!! Radiguet was NEVER this strong the LAST time he fought against the Rangers!”

 

BlackHawk eerily says: “There's only one place I know of that has powers like that; the realm of the Chaos Gods THEMSELVES!!!!”

 

Radiguet creepily laughs: “AH, HA, HA!!!! The Power Twerp has FINALLY figured it out!”

 

Toby says: “But that's IMPOSSIBLE!!!! NO mere mortal can harness the power of the Chaos Gods!!!!”

 

Radiguet seductively says: “But I am no mere MORTAL, and I most certainly CAN!!!! And it was SO easy, to BEAT the Chaos Gods, TO!!!!”

Ebony asks: “How?! How could you BEAT something that is both non-corporeal, and immortal?!”

 

Radiguet creepily says: “It's SO simple; you simply TRICK the non-corporeal, into TAKING a corporeal BODY; and in turn, you turn the immortal, MORTAL!!!! Which made them VERY susceptible, to being absorbed into MY very BEING!!!! I'm the one in absolute POWER here! I reign SUPREME!! This universe is MINE to command; to CONTROL!!!!”

 

BlackHawk says: “If what you said is true; than how have you NOT gone COMPLETELY insane?!!! The Chaos Gods would NEVER agree to inhabit the same body, let ALONE allow you to assimilate their personalities! You can't control their powers forever!!!!”

Radiguet evilly laughs: “AH, HA, HA, HA!!!! I can do whatever I PLEASE!!!! AH, HA, HA, HA...OWWW!!!! It's...happening AGAIN!!!! My BRAIN!!!!”

And in five different voices, Radiguet screams: “Our hot, stinging, BRAINS!!!!”

Usagi asks: “What's happening?!”

BlackHawk says: “It's just like I said! The Chaos Gods can't STAND to be inside of a corporeal body, let alone ALLOW one mortal to CONTROL their powers! They're fighting to make him go insane and KILL himself!!!”

 

Naruto asks: “Why would they do that?! They would die, to!”

Toby says: “At this point, death would be preferable to them, rather than serving as a SLAVE to that evil...creature!!!!”

 

Radiguet moans and says: “Shut up! Shut UP!!!! SHUT UP!!!! I absorbed you!!!! I KILLED you!!!! You will OBEY ME!!!!”

 

Ebony says: “Now's our chance; while he can't defend himself!!!!”

An evil voice says: “I can't let you DO that, Rangers!!!!”

Pinkie asks: “Was THAT Omnus?!”

Usagi says: “It certainly didn't SOUND like Omnus!!!!”

And in seven colored strikes of lightning, one by one, mirror VERSIONS of the Power Rangers, appear in FRONT of the REAL Rangers!!!! Lettuce says: “What?! It's US!!!!”

BlackHawk looks closely, and says: “They're not us! They're simply evil, mirror VERSIONS of us! We're in some kind of Dark Mirror Dimension!”

The Mirror Naruto asks: “What?! How in the world can you tell?! We look EXACTLY alike!!!!”

 

BlackHawk defiantly says: “When I look into the eyes of the REAL Naruto; I can tell that he's a genuinely, nice, caring, if somewhat obsessed leader who always looks out for others, and not some genocidal FREAK who merely wants to HURT creatures SMALLER than himself!”

The real Naruto says: “Thanks...I think!”

The Mirror Usagi says: “So you know WHAT we are; big deal!”

The Mirror Toby says: “You may even know WHERE you are, but that's NOT going to help you!”

The Mirror Pinkie says: “We're the elite forces of evil around here, and we're NOT going to let you destroy Radiguet, and ruin EVERYTHING that OUR Omnus is working towards!”

The Mirror Lettuce says: “I may not agree with their methods, but when our Omnus calls upon it, I always obey the will of my master.”

The Mirror Ebony says: “Emperor Angeloco and Heavenly Queen Hedrian's Angel Beasts have ALWAYS succumbed to our evil schemes, and YOU will to!”

The Mirror BlackHawk says: “I am going to CRUSH you, and end your pathetic lives ALL by myself!”

 

The Real BlackHawk says: “Are you SERIOUS?! I sound NOTHING like THAT; not even in my EARLY days!”

 

The Real Naruto says: “You kind of sounded a LITTLE like that when we first met you!”

The Mirror doppelgangers simultaneously say: “We are the Mirror Rangers, and it's MORPHING time!” /

 

Mirror Naruto says: “Mirror Tyrannosaurus!” / Mirror Usagi says: “Mirror Hadrosaurus!” / Mirror Lettuce says: “Mirror Triceratops!” / Mirror Pinkie says: “Mirror Ankylosaurus!” / Mirror Toby says: “Mirror Stegosaurus!” / Mirror Ebony says: “Mirror Velociraptor!” / Mirror BlackHawk says: “Mirror Spinosaurus!” / The Mirror Rangers appear fully morphed, and appear to be EXACTLY the same as the Power Rangers, with the lone exception that their gloves and boots are all gray instead of white, and they all have a BIG, Evil black “M”, scrawled on their uniforms, to stand for “Mirror!”

Lettuce says: “Radiguet, you IDIOT!!!! The Mirror Rangers don't look EXACTLY like us!”

Radiguet seems to have regained his senses, and he says: “Do you think I would be STUPID enough to design these Mirror Rangers to look EXACTLY the same as YOU do?! What would STOP you from trying to POSE as them, and get close enough to try to KILL me?!”

Toby says: “CRAP!!!! He's a SMART psycho!!!!”

Radiguet says: “Besides, it wasn't MY idea! It was the idea of my MOST loyal servant! Mirror, come on OUT!!!!”

 

And before the Rangers very eyes, the evil Mirror ONCE again appears RIGHT before them! Ebony shockingly says: “Mirror?!!! It can't be! Banriki DESTROYED you!!!!”

Mirror chuckles, and she says: “FOOLS!!!! The Banriki of YOUR dimension, only destroyed the GOOD Mirror! I am the EVIL Mirror, the REAL Mirror, and I am FAR more DANGEROUS than the Mirror of YOUR dimension could EVER hope to BE!”

 

Pinkie shockingly asks: “You mean Banriki destroyed the GOOD Mirror?! That's...not very good, if even the GOOD Mirror wasn't so good to BEGIN with!”

The Evil Mirror says: “Radiguet, clear out of here! I'll finish these FOOLS myself!”

Radiguet groans and says: “Very well! Just don't TAKE too long this time!”

And Radiguet disappears! The Evil Mirror says: “Rangers, Mirror Power Weapons!”

 

And the Rangers produce BLACK versions of the Rangers Power Weapons, except for Mirror Ebony, who has White Shadow Daggers in contrast to Ebony's Black Shadow Daggers! The Real BlackHawk says: “Man, she thought of EVERYTHING!!!!”

 

The Evil Mirror says: “Ultra Mirror Power Blaster Cannon; FIRE!!!!”

The Power Rangers prepare for the worst, but a GREEN force field appears to SURROUND Mirror and the Mirror Rangers! Naruto says: “What could THIS be?!”

And a gray dog, wearing a green mask and a green uniform, with the initials “C.R” on his uniform, appears in front of the Power Rangers! BlackHawk asks: “Captain Retro?!”

Lettuce asks: “You know this guy?!”

Captain Retro says: “There's no time to explain! Come with me if you want to live!”

Toby says: “I can't argue with that!”

Usagi says: “I wouldn't know HOW to!”

And they all get close to Captain Retro, and Captain Retro says: “Hang on; we're going to jet on OUT of here!”

 

And as the green force field disappears, the Mirror Rangers get ready to fire, but before they can even BLINK, Captain Retro and the Power Rangers appear to vanish! Mirror shockingly asks: “What?! They have vanished?! That is not POSSIBLE!!!! No forces of good can transport like that in THIS dimension!”

Mirror BlackHawk says: “I saw what happened! Captain Retro used a form of super speed, and he actually moved with those Rangers SO fast; it actually looked as if he warped the Rangers away from here!”

 

Mirror groans, and she says: “No matter. They are good, and they are thoroughly TRAPPED here! We've got all the time in the UNIVERSE to wait them out, hunt them down, and DESTROY them!” /

 

On the Diabolic, things look even creepier than usual, as Master Vile hands off Queen Hedrian to Emperor Diabolica, and Master Vile says: “Remember, if you so much as LOOK at Queen Hedrian the wrong way, you are going to wish you NEVER entered into the business of evil doers!”

Emperor Diabolica says: “Don't try to give me any empty threats! We all know that the United Alliance of Evil has been inactive ever since Darkonda destroyed Dark Specter all those years ago!”

Master Vile boldly says: “Some day, I WILL re-activate the Alliance of Evil myself, and pull together the dysfunctional brands of evil that have SCATTERED across the Universe!”

Fuhrer Saturn defiantly says: “Good luck getting ME to sign up with you; I have STANDARDS!!!!”

 

Master Vile sinisterly says: “Lucky for ME; I don't think you'll be alive LONG enough to ever WORRY about THAT!!!! Now my daughter, go out there, and knock them DEAD!!!!” And under his breath, Master Vile mutters: “Hopefully, LITERALLY!”

 

And Fuhrer Saturn plays “Here Comes the Bride” on the organ, as Emperor Diabolica and Queen Hedrian walk down the make-shift aisle, until they get to Drako, who is acting as the Marriage officiator for this ceremony! Drako says: “Dearly beloved; we are gathered here to witness the unholy union of Emperor Diabolica, and Queen Hedrian; First names withheld upon request. If there is anyone here, who has any reason, as to why these two should NOT be wed...”

Kraky suddenly says: “Well, now that you mention it...”

Queen Hedrian screams: “CAN IT BEFORE I KILL YOU!!!!”

And Kraky immediately sits down! Drako continues: “Do you, Emperor Diabolica, take Queen Hedrian to be your lawfully wedded wife? Honor her, comfort her, keep her in sickness and health, and keep only unto her, so long as you both shall live?”

 

Emperor Diabolica blushes, and he says: “I do!”

Drako says: “And do you, Queen Hedrian, take Emperor Diabolica for Better...”

Queen Hedrian shrieks: “WHAT DO YOU THINK?!!!” Than she calms down, and says: “I mean, YES! I do!”

 

Drako says: “By the power invested in me, by Chaos God T'zeen'tch, I now pronounce you, husband and fright!...I mean, 'wife!' You may KISS the bride!”

And Emperor Diabolica and Queen Hedrian engage in a seemingly BARBARIC type of romance that NONE of the villains have EVER seen BEFORE!!!! Viper disgustedly says: “That's just GREAT!!!! I'm NEVER going to be able to UNSEE this!!!! I'm just going to look over here and...oh, LOOK!!!! It's FLOWER Petals!!!! THAT'S what I was looking for!!!!”

Baphomet groans, and he says: “Oh, boy! It's going to be a LONG honeymoon, to compensate for the short wedding guest list!” /

 

Meanwhile, back in the Dark Mirror Dimension, the Rangers find themselves inside of a Radio D.J.'s room, and Captain Retro locks the door! The Rangers, decide to remove their helmets, and give themselves a chance to truly catch their breaths! BlackHawk says: “I'll NEVER get used to you taking me places like that!”

Captain Retro sighs, and says: “Sorry for the improper introduction, but I couldn't afford a lengthy explanation at the current moment we first met. The forces of evil in this Dimension, don't exactly mess around the way the forces of evil in the normal, non-mirror Dimension do!”

Pinkie says: “We kind of noticed!”

BlackHawk says: “Rangers, meet one of my old friends; Captain Retro! He's a fellow superhero, and a very GOOD Radio D.J.!”

Naruto asks: “So, are you new around here to?”

Captain Retro says: “Kind of, sort of. I go around from dimension to dimension helping out wherever the need is greatest, in any way I can. And right now, the evil in this particular dimension is off the charts!”

Toby jokingly says: “Maybe you should get some bigger charts!”

Captain Retro says: “While I normally appreciate a good joke, I'm afraid this isn't the time, place, or dimension where joking is really appreciated!”

Lettuce says: “We kind of noticed!”

Usagi asks: “So what is going on here, exactly?”

Captain Retro says: “Well, as you might have already noticed, you have been transported into a Dark Mirror Dimension, where beings who are normally evil, are good! Beings who are normally sane, are INSANE! And beings who are normally good, are instead brainwashed and crazy!”

Ebony asks: “Brainwashed and crazy?”

Captain Retro says: “Sad, but true. I've been doing everything I could, but I have been unable to break through to either the Mirror Omnus, or the Mirror Rangers FREE from their brainwashing; but there may be one possible exception within them!”

 

BlackHawk asks: “Who is that?!”

Captain Retro says: “It seems that the Mirror Lettuce, still retains ENOUGH sanity and free-will to be saved! If we can save him, it may be just the thing that will send the Radiguet of THIS dimension, over the edge, and therefore, he will kill himself to put an end to the bickering of the Chaos Gods!”

Naruto shockingly asks: “This dimension?!”

Captain Retro sighs, and says: “Sorry, Rangers. But even though the Radiguet of this dimension is the INSANE one, he's actually the WEAKER Radiguet! I estimate that he's only 1/10th as strong as the Radiguet in YOUR dimension!”

 

Toby says: “WOW!!!! BlackHawk, you really weren't KIDDING about just how TOUGH Radiguet was!”

Captain Retro says: “But the good news I have discovered, if it's any consolation; is that the Radiguet of your dimension, can't do what the Radiguet of THIS dimension did! At least, not on his own.”

Lettuce says: “So there's a chance we can stop him before he repeats this trick in our own dimension?!”

 

Captain Retro says: “There's always a chance to do what is right! As long as one believes!”

 

Pinkie says: “I believe!”

Usagi says: “I do, to! I've never backed away from a challenge, and I'm not about to start now!”

Ebony says: “You can always count on me, to lend a magic spell or two!”

BlackHawk says: “I'll never let the odds, stand in the way of doing what is right!”

Naruto says: “It won't be easy, but that's never stopped ME before!”

Toby says: “My ancestor Jeff, fought for what was right; I will, to!”

Lettuce says: “And with my help, we will ensure that the Rangers will emerge bonne triumphant, no matter who are opponent might be!”

Captain Retro smiles, and he says: “I always KNEW you were the ones; you've passed the test!”

Pinkie asks: “There was a test?”

Captain Retro says: “Zordon and Omnus aren't the only ones with the powers of foresight; I have some of that power to. And your dedication to fighting the forces of evil, are stronger than ANY evil power, that can exist in the known Multi-verse! You truly ARE, the Power Rangers Multiverse Force!”

Usagi says: “You know, this is the first time that title has ever truly made sense to me! We're not just fighting to right the wrongs in our own universe! We have an obligation to right wrongs, no matter what dimension or universe we are in!”

 

Captain Retro says: “And you can rest easy. Even though I can't always help you, as I have other dimensions that need my help, you can always know that I'll be keeping my eyes on you; respectfully, of course, and always sending you out a hit song to help you out in any fight!”

BlackHawk asks: “Those songs are from YOU?!”

Captain Retro says: “It's the Woo Foo link we share with each other. Whenever I play a song that is meant for you guys, you can hear it over the vibrational powers of Woo Foo energy, and anyone else, with special sensitive powers can hear it, as well!”

 

Pinkie gets an epiphany, and says: “So THAT'S why I hear those songs all the time! I knew I wasn't CRAZY!!!!...Well; crazier than I REGULARLY am!”

And the Rangers all manage to crack a laugh at that comment, than they hear a knock at the door!

 

And Toby opens the door, and it is revealed to be Mirror! Mirror cackles, and she says: “EEH, HEE, HEE!! Surprised to see me?!!!”

 

Ebony sourly says: “YOU just HAD to open the door, didn't you?!”

Mirror says: “You have a date with death, and I DON'T like to be stood UP!!!!”

Captain Retro seriously shouts: “MIRROR!!!! Be CIVIL!!!!”

And Mirror ACTUALLY powers down in shock! Captain Retro calmly says: “BlackHawk already knows this rule, but you and the Rangers aren't as familiar with me, so I will let you know one thing about me RIGHT now! I DON'T allow fighting in my Radio D.J. Room!”

Mirror sincerely says: “Oh, SORRY! We'll take it OUTSIDE!!!!”

And Mirror transports herself and the Rangers OUT of the Radio D.J. Room! /

 

Mirror, and the Mirror Rangers appear in front of them, in a barren wasteland! Mirror says: “All right, Power Rangers! No more hiding!”

Usagi asks: “Who's hiding, tin-head?! We're not scared of you!”

Mirror says: “You SHOULD be! Don't you realize the Mirror Rangers have all the SAME strengths you ALL do?! They are UNSTOPPABLE!!!!”

Lettuce quickly says: “Well, if they have all the same STRENGTHS that WE do, that ALSO means that they have all the same WEAKNESSES that we do!”

Pinkie asks: “We have WEAKNESSES?!”

BlackHawk says: “Think about it! Who knows better about your own mirror image than yourself?! You know what can set you off; use that AGAINST them!”

Mirror desperately says: “Stand fast! Don't let the Rangers TRICK you!!!!”

Naruto says: “Other me; you're not so STRONG!!!! You're WEAK!!!!”

Mirror Naruto angrily says: “Weak? WEAK?!!! I'll show YOU weak!!!!”

Naruto quickly says: “You leave yourself wide OPEN when you're ANGRY!!!!”

 

And with a few, well-placed slashes of his flame sword, the real Naruto quickly and effortlessly, takes his Mirror image down, and Mirror Naruto explodes! Mirror desperately says: “Stop THEM!!!!”

 

Toby says: “Other me; have you ever noticed how much you SUCK at raising Pokemon, since you don't treat them with love and caring like I do?!”

Mirror Toby angrily says: “Don't EVER tell me how to raise MY Pokemon!!!!”

 

Toby says: “An opening! Water Ax!!!!”

And with a few, well-placed slashes of his Water Ax, the real Toby quickly and effortlessly, takes his Mirror image down, and Mirror Toby explodes! Mirror desperately says: “Mirror Usagi and Mirror Pinkie, take them DOWN!!!!”

 

Usagi says: “Let's make this a team effort!”

Pinkie says: “Right! Other me; Mirror Usagi told me that she's MUCH prettier of a warrior than YOU could ever be!!!!”

 

Mirror Pinkie angrily says: “WHAT?!!! I'm the prettiest Mare in all of Mirror Equestria!!!!”

 

And Mirror Pinkie throws her Diamond Boomerang at Mirror Usagi, but Mirror Usagi ducks! Usagi says: “Other me; are you willing to take THAT from a common filly?!”

Mirror Usagi angrily says: “I most certainly will NOT!!!! Take THIS!!!!”

And Mirror Usagi takes out her Wind Staff, and prepares to STRIKE down Mirror Pinkie, but Mirror Pinkie's Diamond Boomerang comes FLYING back, and it SLICES through Mirror Usagi, whose lifeless body is now unable to stop itself from impaling Mirror Pinkie, and they BOTH explode simultaneously! Usagi says: “Clever insult, there!”

 

Pinkie says: “I can't BELIEVE your Mirror Image fell for the common filly line!”

Mirror Desperately says: “Mirror Ebony, you've GOT to stay focused!”

Ebony says: “Look, other me! There's Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy having a three-way with Hermione Granger!!!!”

 

Mirror Ebony gets distracted, and excitedly says: “WHERE?!!!”

Ebony says: “Right here! Shadow Daggers!!!!”

And before Mirror Ebony can even react, the real Ebony SLASHES at her Mirror Image, and Mirror Ebony falls down and explodes! Mirror angrily says: “Mirror BlackHawk will FINISH you!!!!”

And Mirror BlackHawk, unlike the other Mirror Rangers, does not WAIT for BlackHawk to come up with something! He quickly comes swinging, punching, kicking, and brandishing his Electric Sabre, to match up against the real BlackHawk's Electric Sabre! The real BlackHawk says: “You truly ARE as strong as I am!!!! I couldn't imagine a worthier opponent!”

 

Mirror BlackHawk says: “You are NOT a better fighter than ME!!!! And your attempts at flattery will not work on ME; you should know that BETTER than ANYBODY!!!!”

The real BlackHawk says: “Maybe so, but I just got finished talking with Ebony, and she thinks that you're SO unmanly, she wouldn't date you or DO you if you were the LAST male alive on Earth!!!!”

 

Mirror BlackHawk gets distracted, and angrily says: “WHAT?!!!”

And the real BlackHawk quickly and effortlessly slashes at his Mirror Image, and Mirror Blackhawk, with his last bit of effort, valiantly says: “I was wrong. You...were a better fighter, than I was.”

 

And Mirror BlackHawk falls down, and explodes! Mirror angrily says: “Mirror Lettuce, we must work together and kill these fools NOW!!!!”

Mirror Lettuce looks nervously, and he kneels, and says: “I...I...I can't!!!!”

Mirror says: “You can!”

Mirror Lettuce says: “I won't! I don't CARE what Mirror Omnus says! It's evil! It's wrong! I can't be a PART of this!!!!”

 

Mirror angrily says: “If you won't help me, than I'll kill you MYSELF!!!!”

The real Lettuce says: “Earth Mace!!!!”

But instead of striking his mirror image, he hits MIRROR, and sends her tumbling backwards on the ground! Mirror lettuce surprisingly asked: “You saved me; but why?!”

The real Lettuce says: “Because I KNOW myself better than anyone, and I KNOW that you're better than this! You don't have to follow orders if you know that they are wrong! You can choose to break free! You can CHOOSE to do the right thing, and you can choose to FIGHT for what you know to be just and TRUE!”

Mirror angrily says: “You CAN'T!!!! I won't let YOU!!!!”

And Mirror brandishes her sword, and comes CHARGING towards both Lettuce Rangers, but Mirror Lettuce angrily says: “NO!!!!”

 

And Mirror Lettuce brandishes his own Earth Mace, and knocks Mirror away, sending her tumbling backwards on the ground! Mirror Lettuce seriously says: “You can't control me, anymore!!!!”

And with sheer will-power and determination, Lettuce FORCES the “M” on his uniform to disappear, to indicate the switch in his allegiance from evil, back to good! Radiguet can suddenly be heard shrieking: “No, NO! NO!!!!!!!!!! It cannot BE!!!!”

 

And in a bolt of LIGHTNING, Radiguet appears in front of Mirror, the Power Rangers, and Mirror Lettuce!

 

Radiguet creepily says: “Now you shall deal with ME; oh, pitiful POWER Rangers! And all the powers of HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

And in a burst of FLAME, Radiguet TRANSFORMS himself into a gigantic, blue, fire-breathing dragon!!!! Naruto says: “Oh, CRAP!!!!”

 

Radiguet evilly says: “Where are your Zords NOW; Power Rangers?!!!” /

In the Command Center, Alpha 8 suddenly says: “I FOUND THEM!!!!”

Omnus says: “Where?!”

Alpha 8 says: “No time to explain!!!! Send them their Zords, NOW!!!!” /

And the Rangers communicators suddenly beep, and Usagi says: “What?! It says our Zords our on stand-by! We can summon them to fight!”

Toby says: “Than let's do it! We need Dinozord Power, NOW!!!!” /

And the zords all appear simultaneously, and already formed into the Multi-Ultrazord position! Over the communicators, Omnus says: “I hope you don't mind, Rangers, but I took the liberty of making the Multi-Ultrazord battle ready for you! Radiguet is the type of guy you can afford to wait around with!”

Pinkie says: “No arguments there! Power Sword, NOW!!!!”

And the Multi-Ultrazord quickly brandishes its sharp, Power Sword! Radiguet mockingly says: “Ah, if it isn't the cute, little Pink Ranger to the rescue!!!!”

Mirror says: “Oh, you think she's cute TOO, huh?!!!”

And Radiguet gives Mirror an EVIL look! Ebony says: “One order of roasted dragon, coming up!”

 

Radiguet says: “So, you want to play knights and dragons, huh?! Well, be careful what you WISH for; or you just might GET it!!!!”

 

And Radiguet shoots a blast of LIGHTNING at him, making Mirror SO scared, she actually RUNS away from the FIGHT, and the attack causes Pinkie to put up the Ankylo Shield, but the Multi-Ultrazord is STILL getting pushed back! Lettuce says: “He's too STRONG!!!!”

BlackHawk says: “We're BURNING all our power JUST trying to HOLD him!!!!” /

Mirror Lettuce says: “Mirror Dinozord Power, NOW!!!!” /

And the Mirror Triceratops zord comes zooming in, and KNOCKS Radiguet to the ground! Mirror Lettuce says: “Triple Lightning strike!!!!”

And the lightning SHOOTS at Radiguet, and paralyzes him into place! Mirror Lettuce says: “Quickly; while I can still HOLD him!!!!”

 

BlackHawk says: “Give it everything we've got! Thunder Slingers equipped; fire full arsenal!!!!”

 

And in a flurry of torpedoes and missiles, the Multi-Ultrazord fires everything it can at the Dragon Radiguet, and he screams: “No, No! NO!!!!!!!!” (BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) /

Captain Retro excitedly says: “They DID it!!!!” /

The Rangers get out of their Zords, the Zords transport back to Core Earth, and the Rangers excitedly rejoice! Naruto says: “I can't believe we did it!”

Toby says: “Believe it! We took down big, bad, Radiguet himself!!!!”

Lettuce says: “But how are we going to get back to our OWN dimension?!”

But Lettuce suddenly gets SNATCHED, by RADIGUET who has reverted BACK to his normal form!!!! Pinkie shockingly asks: “STILL ALIVE?!!!!!!!”

Usagi says: “No one could survive THAT attack!!!!”

Radiguet wearily says: “Even I thought I was DEAD with THAT ATTACK!!!! I NEARLY WAS!!!!”

 

Naruto despairs, and says: “It's OVER!!!!”

Radiguet evilly says: “CURSE you!!!! CURSE you to INIFINITY!!!! Drat you, and your team-work!!!! You've been more trouble to me than you're WORTH, one way or the other, but it will SOON be OVER now!!!! I WAS actually going to be NICE and kill you off QUICKLY; but now that you've REALLY PISSED me OFF; I'm going to do it, nice and SLOWLY!!!! Starting with your PRECIOUS LETTUCE!!!!”

Mirror Lettuce says: “KAMIKAZE!!!!”

And Mirror Lettuce KNOCKS the Real Lettuce OUT of Radiguet's grasp, and Mirror Lettuce begins charging up an INSANE amount of FIRE-POWER!!!! The Real Lettuce gasps in shock, and says: “NO!!!! That's too much POWER!!!! If you unleash it all at once; it will...!!!!”

Mirror Lettuce merely looks back, glances a knowing smile, and merely says: “You were right, other me. It's NEVER too late to fight for what is just; it's never too late to do the right thing!!!!”

Radiguet defiantly says: “You won't go THROUGH it!!!! You don't have the GUTS!!!!”

Mirror Lettuce seriously says: “You are a FOOL, Radiguet!!!! I'm going to CRUSH you, and THROW you into the WIND!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!”

And in a gigantic explosion, Mirror Lettuce blows up HIMSELF, and seemingly ANNIHILATES Radiguet in a single, great, blinding flash of light and energy! All that remains after the explosion, is a stone statue of Mirror Lettuce on the ground, looking up to the sky in utter defiance. Lettuce drops down, and he hollowly says: “You did it, other me; you died a true hero!”

 

Than they hear a pained SCREAM coming from the inside of the giant crater that was created by the Mirror Lettuce! The Rangers come running towards it, and they see a VERY damaged Radiguet, who has been reduced to just ONE arm, his head, and a bleeding torso!! Naruto asks: “Why won't you just DIE?!”

Radiguet asks: “How could it BE?!!! How could my magnificent plan END this WAY?!!! They were just POWER RANGERS!!!! They were stinking, stupid, pathetic POWER RANGERS!!!!”

BlackHawk seriously says: “No one, not even someone as evil as yourself, deserves an end like this! Though I can't say that you didn't bring it upon yourself, because you TOTALLY did! Now you can DIE, in the ruins of your OWN devising!!!!”

 

And the Rangers walk away, and Radiguet pathetically says: “Help...me!!!!”

The Rangers turn around, and they hear Radiguet ask: “Please, help...me!!!!” /

 

Alpha 8 shouts: “Don't do it RANGERS!!!! He's a LIAR!!!! He's a DECEIVER!!!! He'll just turn on you the MOMENT after you HELP!!!!” /

Lettuce angrily says: “Help you? HELP YOU?!!! Help you the way you've helped COUNTLESS life-forms and beings throughout the universe?!”

Usagi angrily says: “Help you, after displaying such callous, thoughtless, CRUEL behavior?!”

 

Toby angrily says: “Help you after you BRAINWASHED the Rangers of this Dimension, and FORCED them to do your EVIL bidding?!”

 

Naruto angrily says: “Help you after completely REDUCING this dimension to a barren waste-land, and forcing everyone else to live on NOTHING while you SELFISHLY and HEARTLESSLY take EVERYTHING for YOUR own GREEDY wishes?!”

 

Pinkie angrily says: “Help you after ALL the mean and NASTY things you said and DID to us?! I never thought I would HEAR myself even SAY this; but I wouldn't WANT to be your friend, even if you TRIED to sincerely ask me, because I know that I can't BELIEVE it!!!!”

Ebony angrily says: “You TRIED to torture us and MURDER us, and showed no mercy doing so! Did you think we WOULDN'T take it PERSONALLY?!!!”

BlackHawk angrily says: “It's OVER, Radiguet!!!! You've LOST!!!! Anyone who COULD'VE helped you has either abandone you, or is now DEAD, and you don't have A FRIEND in this universe that you can fall back on now, and you only have yourself to blame, for everything that has happened!!!! You, the mighty Radiguet, has fallen! And you were beaten by only SEVEN 'stinking, stupid, pathetic, Power Rangers'!”

Radiguet angrily says: “The likes of you could NEVER destroy me!!!!”

And through SHEER will-power, Radiguet jets straight, up, as if he were RUNNING on pure hatred!!!! His eyes, his skin, and even his hair, all turn CRIMSON red!!!! Radiguet demonically says: “I will personally FIND EVERYONE and ANYONE you EVER CARED for!!!! I WILL TORTURE THEM UNTIL THE END OF THEIR MISERABLE, PATHETIC LIVES!!!! I WILL DESTROY ALL THE PLACES that have ever had MEANING to the POWER RANGERS, and you will be FORCED to watch it all happen, because there is NOTHING; in the entire UNIVERSE, that will EVER DESTROY ME...!!!! AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

Lettuce asks: “What's happening?!”

Toby says: “It's the Chaos Gods! They're attacking again!!!!”

Radiguet angrily says: “Stop bickering!!!! STOP BICKERING!!!! Will you just listen AND STOP?!!!”

 

Radiguet takes his lone, remaining hand, and powers it up, and says: “Don't try and TRIFLE with ME!!!! You will DIE!!!!”

 

And the point of view SWITCHES to that of the Rangers, who FLINCH as they see Radiguet's shadow, strike through his OWN head, and he GOREFULLY rips out his own brain, and he holds it triumphantly in his own hand! Radiguet forcefully says: “No one gets the better of Radiguet, especially not YOU!!!!”

And as soon as he finishes saying that, Radiguet FINALLY explodes, and ALL the negative energy that was influencing the Dark Mirror Dimension, dissipates!!!! The sky turns from red to blue, the sunlight filters back onto the ground, the grass turns green and blooms back into health, and even the trees and flowers, spring back to life, and regain their former beauty! Mirror returns, and she evilly says: “NO!!!! You RUINED IT!!!! You ruined EVERYTHING!!!!”

Naruto says: “I thought she was supposed to turn back to NORMAL!!!!”

Pinkie says: “I guess she was NEVER brainwashed or crazy to begin with, she was just down-right evil!”

Mirror says: “The Radiguet of THIS dimension may be gone, but YOU are going to perish ANYWAYS!!!! How sad, you took down the most powerful being EVER, but no one is EVER going to HEAR of IT!!!!”

A heroic voice loudly yells: “WOOF!!!!”

And Mirror gets thrown away, and is seemingly knocked unconscious! Ebony says: “D.O.G.?!”

 

The canine says: “Actually, I'm called Mirror D.O.G.! I want to personally thank you from the bottom of my heart, for freeing everyone in this dimension from the brainwashing that Radiguet forced on us! We really owe you a debt of gratitude, that can never be repaid.”

BlackHawk points to the stone statue of Mirror Lettuce, and he solemnly says: “You owe a lot to Mirror Lettuce, to. He is the only reason, that Radiguet managed to get so weak and mad, he eventually went insane from our refusal to give up, that it drove him insane, and led him to kill himself!”

Mirror D.O.G., goes over to the stone statue of Mirror Lettuce, and Mirror D.O.G., breaks down and cries! Mirror D.O.G., mournfully says: “Poor Mirror Lettuce! I'll miss the way you would always throw a stick for me, or the way you would always throw a ball, or the way, you would always throw a Frisbee!”

And as the tears fall onto the stone statue of Mirror Lettuce, something truly AMAZING happens! The stone encasing Mirror Lettuce actually DISAPPEARS, and Mirror Lettuce slowly comes back to life! Mirror Lettuce finally falls down, and Mirror D.O.G., asks: “Mirror Lettuce?!”

Mirror Lettuce sits up, and he wearily says: “Mirror D.O.G., you saved me!”

Lettuce says: “I always knew the power of love, would someday save a life!”

Mirror D.O.G., blushes, and he says: “Even I didn't know that I had it in me!”

Captain Retro comes to them, and he says: “Well done, Power Rangers! That was a hard task, but you all got through it, no worse for the wear!”

BlackHawk shakes his head, and he says: “I'm afraid we've still got a long way to go, yet. That was just a PRACTICE run, compared to when we fight the Radiguet in our own dimension.”

Captain Retro says: “Maybe so, but you have proven that when the time comes, you will all be up to the task, of destroying Radiguet, and saving the Multi-verse!”

Toby says: “We wouldn't have it any other way!”

Naruto says: “Mirror Lettuce, I'm sorry we had to destroy your team-mates. We truly regret you having to lose your friends.”

 

Mirror Lettuce says: “At least now, we have a chance to fix this dimension, and make it the way, that WE want it to be!”

 

And a Red Jet Jammer appears in the sky, and Andros comes swooping down! Andros says: “And it's time for you seven to get back to your OWN dimension!”

BlackHawk says: “Andros! I had a feeling that YOU would be the seventh, final Legendary Ranger we would meet! Your reputation precedes you!”

Andros says: “You have to hold on! Rita and Zedd can't transport you unless you're holding on to me!”

 

Pinkie asks: “Rita and ZEDD are helping you?!”

Andros says: “It's a long story, Omnus and Alpha 8 will explain later!”

Ebony says: “Right!”

Captain Retro says: “I'll come with you! This dimension has gotten all the help it needs from me! And besides, it will be nice to be back in my OWN Dimension!”

And Captain Retro and the Power Rangers, get close to Andros, and they all hold hands together! Andros loudly says: “Rita and Zedd, transport us BACK...”

Mirror wakes up, and seeing the Magic Portal in the sky, desperately says: “Change into a MIRROR!!!!”

 

And she quickly flies, and transforms into a Golden Hand Mirror, and flings herself into Andros' back pocket! Andros says: “NOW!!!!” /

And with their powerful magic, Rita and Zedd bring Andros, Captain Retro, the Power Rangers (and unknowingly, the disguised Mirror) back into their normal dimension, right outside Root Core near Briarwood! BlackHawk says: “Nice! I always wanted to see the home base of the Power Rangers Mystic Force! This is pretty cool!”

Rita says: “It is good to see you all here, safe and sound.”

Zedd says: “And I see that you brought our student, Captain Retro back, to!”

 

Lettuce asks: “Captain Retro is YOUR student?!”

Captain Retro says: “Well, I HAD to get my super powers from SOMEWHERE! By doing a bunch of good, heroic deeds over a period of ten years, I gradually became the super-powerful, super Canine that you know today! I couldn't have done it without Rita's training, and Zedd's great wisdom!”

Toby says: “Rita and Zedd are good guys now! If only Master Vile and Queen Hedrian could appreciate the irony!”

 

Than the Golden Mirror in Andros' pocket begins to levitate out, and Rita suddenly says: “Don't look now, but I think you brought an unwelcome guest!”

And before anyone can react, Mirror transforms, back into her normal, Golden human self! Mirror says: “Surprised to see me?!”

 

Usagi says: “Not really! We should have KNOWN you couldn't be defeated THAT easily!!!!” /

 

On the Diabolic, everyone is supposing the supposed 'end' of the Power Rangers, in addition to the wedding celebration! Queen Hedrian chants: “No more Power Rangers, no more Power Rangers!”

 

Master Vile loudly boasts: “SEE, Fuhrer Saturn; how EASY it is to DISPOSE of the Power Rangers when a TRUE Master of EVIL is in control?!”

Fuhrer Saturn bitterly says: “I'm not impressed! I could have done THAT to...if I WANTED to!”

 

Than Galaxy Lightning gets a reading on her scouter, and in shock, she says: “Impossible!!!!”

 

Circe asks: “What?!”

Galaxy Lightning says: “Not only have the Power Rangers RETURNED from the Dark Mirror Dimension, they have a COMBINED power level of over 51,000!!!!”

Fuhrer Saturn angrily says: “WHAT?!!! That's even stronger than ME!!!!”

Master Vile angrily says: “Impossible! NO one can return from that dimension!”

 

Queen Hedrian angrily says: “It's that meddling SISTER of mine! She's still alive AND using her magic for the forces of good, with that no-longer evil HUSBAND named ZEDD!!!!”

Rito Revolto laughs, and he says: “I TOLD you that Rita and Zedd were still alive and well, but no one EVER listens to the 'brainless' brother!”

Master Vile angrily says: “This is now a matter of WAR!!!! By the power of thunder and lightning, I command you; make my Mirror GROW, and let Queen Hedrian's monsters live ONCE more!!!!”

And lightning STRIKES Mirror, and she grows giant, and she is surrounded by giant versions of ALL the former Queen Hedrian monsters the Rangers have ever DEFEATED!!!! Naruto says: “Aye Guy and Keller?! It can't be! We destroyed you!”

 

Lettuce says: “Pound Her, General Shogun, Magmanificent, Zombee, Banriki, Lounge Lizard, Mustang Sally, Amazoness, and all the other various monsters we faced?! We destroyed ALL of them!”

Mirror says: “Did you know that every time a Hedrian monster died, a BUST was created of them?! That allows every monster the chance to be brought back to life ONCE! So if you had such a tough time beating each of us individually before; what chance do you think you've got NOW?!”

Ebony says: “You forgot one thing, Mirror! We're a lot stronger NOW than we were when we FIRST took you down!”

BlackHawk says: “And we know everything you can throw at us, so there's no way you can catch us off guard! We need Dinozord power, NOW!!!!”

Six dinozords are summoned normally, while Ebony plays her guitar, and the Velociraptor zord shows up! The Rangers all get into their cockpits, and Pinkie says: “Let's use the same strategy we used against the gauntlet, only using our zords! One zord against three monsters!”

Toby says: “Sounds like a plan!”

Captain Retro says: “And I can help out in my own way! Rita and Zedd, summon some appropriate music for this occasion!”

 

And Rita and Zedd use their wands, and a rocking hit song by Genesis begins playing! Andros says: “I completely love this song!”

 

As the song plays, the monsters start getting destroyed one by one! Phil Collins sings: “I must have dreamed a thousand dreams, been haunted by a million screams! But I can hear the marching feet, they're moving into the street. Now did you read the news today? They say the danger's gone away. But I can see the fire's still alight, there; burning into the night. There's too many men, too many people making too many problems! And not much love to go around. Can't you see this is a land of confusion? This is the world we live in (Oh!) And these are the hands we're given (Oh!) Use them and let's start trying (Oh!) To make it a place worth living in. Ooh, Superman, where are you now? When everything's gone wrong somehow; the men of steel, the men of power, are losing control by the hour. This is the time, this is the place, so we look for the future! But there's not much love to go around. Tell me why, this is a land of confusion. This is the world we live in (Oh!) And these are the hands we're given (Oh!) Use them and let's start trying (Oh!) To make it a place worth living in.”

Mirror says: “I'm not giving up! Take on my true form!”

And Mirror transforms into her golden spiked monstrosity form! Usagi says: “Let's form the Megazord, and take out these last few creeps!”
They do so, and the song continues playing! Phil Collins sings: “I remember long ago; ooh when the sun was shining. Yes, and the stars were bright, all through the night. And the sound of your laughter, as I held you tight! So long ago.”

 

Lettuce says: “Ebony, BlackHawk, link up with us and we'll finish Mirror for good!”

The Ultrazord is formed, and Mirror knows her advantage has now COMPLETELY disappeared! Phil Collins sings: “I won't be coming home tonight! My generation will put it right! We're not just making promises, that we know, we'll never keep. Too many men, there's too many people making too many problems! And not much love to go around. Can't you see this is a land of confusion? Now this is the world we live in (Oh!) And these are the hands we're given (Oh!) Use them and let's start trying (Oh!) To make it a place worth fighting for! This is the world we live in (Oh!) And these are the names we're given (Oh!) Stand up and let's start showing (Oh!) Just where our lives are going to!” / And as the epic song ends, Mirror is shot down by the Ultrazord, and Mirror screams: “No!!!! My QUEEN!!!! You must, AVENGE all of US!!!!”

And Mirror explodes, and the final chord of the song is played! /

 

Master Vile heads for the banquet table, and is about to slam his hands into the Wedding Cake that reads: “Just EVILLY Wed!” In anger, but Drako removes it just in time! Master Vile screams: “No, no, NO!!!! It's so unfair!!!! It's so MISERABLY unfair!!!! I transported the Rangers, I marooned them in the Dark Mirror Dimension, I unleashed Radiguet and a whole TEAM of Mirror Rangers AFTER them; I brought Dark Mirror here and REVIVED all of the Hedrian Monsters, I did EVERYTHING RIGHT, and the Rangers still TRASHED all of THEM!!!! Why? Why can't I ever WIN against the Power Rangers?!”

 

Baphomet says: “Isn't it obvious? Luck just isn't on your side!”

Fuhrer Saturn, in a German accent says: “And who can BLAME it, having a notoriously ugly mug the way you do?!”

 

Master Vile angrily says: “FINE!!!! But remember, I've got a SPECIAL slot in HELL reserved JUST for you, for when you INEVITABLY die!”

Vipera shrugs it off and says: “So what? Just revive the Hedrian Monsters AGAIN, and attack the Rangers BEFORE they've had a chance to recover from the FIRST attack!”

Queen Hedrian bitterly says: “I'm afraid we can't!”

Drako asks: “Can't, or won't?”

Queen Hedrian seriously says: “Can't; the Revival trick on my Hedrian Eggs only works ONE time! And Father, I'm afraid we must alter our plans for now!”

Master Vile asks: “Why must we do that?!”

Queen Hedrian says: “With all my resources used up; I'll actually NEED Emperor Diabolica's help to finish off the Power Rangers now!”

Master Vile angrily says: “Well, I can't wait around for THAT long! I've got a personal MEETING with Professor Bias back at my OWN Galaxy, and he DOESN'T like to be kept WAITING!!!!”

Queen Hedrian says: “But I NEED you for my plan to WORK!!!!”

Master Vile smiles, and says: “Not necessarily! Rito Revolto?!”

Rito approaches, and he says: “You called, father?!”

Master Vile creepily says: “It's TIME; to turn you INTO the son I always WANTED you to be!”

 

Rito asks: “What are you DOING?!!!”

Master Vile chants, and he says: “Maximus Genius Enchantus!!!!”

And Master Vile ZAPS Rito Revolto, and he SURGES with evil energy! Rito Revolto is now sporting an aura of red, flaming fire around him! Queen Hedrian asks: “What did you DO to him?!”

Master Vile says: “I merely took away his sense of free will, removed him of all his inhibitions, and I turned him into a REAL genius Warrior; one who WON'T hesitate to follow YOUR orders!”

Queen Hedrian excitedly says: “I LIKE this NEW and IMPROVED Rito Revolto! I think I might actually get along with him quite WELL, now!”

Master Vile says: “I'm leaving Rito Revolto, to fight with the rest of you! As for taking care of the Power Rangers, you're on your own from here on out! And don't expect me to come flying back to bail you out of any trouble, because you WON'T get it; especially not YOU, Fuhrer Saturn!”

Fuhrer Saturn defiantly says: “As if I'd ever actually need YOUR help!”

Master Vile angrily says: “Be CAREFUL with the words you CHOOSE, Fuhrer Saturn! You may find that they may come back to HAUNT you someday! FAREWELL!!!!”

And Master Vile warps out of there! Galaxy Lightning looks around, and when her scouter indicates that Master Vile is far enough away, she loudly says: “Good riddance to BAD rubbish!”

Vipera scoffs and says: “Forget him! We don't NEED him!”

Emperor Diabolica flashes a creepy smile, and he says: “Agreed! Those Power Rangers have HURT us for the LAST time! Now they've taken away ALL of Queen Hedrian's monsters, and RUINED our PERFECT wedding!!!! This is an open declaration of WAR!!!! As of RIGHT now, I'm recalling ALL of Imp Monster troops from ACROSS the various galaxies, and gathering them HERE!!!! We will NEED all the additional help for the upcoming battle!”

Drako asks: “What battle?”

Emperor Diabolica boldly says: “In one FINAL battle, we will ELIMINATE the Power Rangers ONCE and for all! Nobody makes the wife of Emperor Diabolica look like a FOOL!!!!”

Vipera smugly says: “That's never stopped her from doing so BEFORE!!!!”

 

And Vipera notices that Queen Hedrian is looking at her through her hands, which are scrunched together in a square shape! Vipera asks: “What are you DOING?!!!”

Queen Hedrian creepily says: “I was just imagining a square-shaped HOLE in your head, where your BRAIN supposedly is!!!!”

 

Vipera scoffs, and she seriously says: “I know what you were IMAGINING!!!!”

 

Emperor Diabolica says: “Train like you've NEVER trained before, loyal TROOPS! In ten hours, my battalion will arrive, and we will CRUSH the Power Rangers in one, fell SWOOP!!!!”

Zero Girl 01 says: “I'll believe THAT when I see it!” /

The Rangers, now in their civilian forms, arrive back on the soccer field! Everyone else is now waking up, thanks to Woolbur and Fleecely! Bash gets up and asks: “How long was I out for?”

Smash asks: “Did you HAVE to wake us up? I was dreaming about me and the Pink Ranger sharing a Pina Colada in a Jacuzzi!”

 

Woolbur asks: “So, are we going to finish this match?”

Andros, and his K0-35 team, kneel down in front of them. Andros says: “There is no need to. You've proven to all of us today, that your ability to work together as a team, is stronger than anything we have ever seen before. Therefore, we concede this match to you! The V.I.P. Team of the Year award, is yours!”

D.O.G., says: “That's a shame, I would've liked to see the match finish and—SQUIRREL!!!! Hi there!”

 

BlackHawk says: “The only question left is, how do we determine who gets to keep it?”

 

Ebony says: “I've got this really NEAT duplication charm at home, that I have just been ITCHING to try out on something!”

 

Toby says: “I'd sure like to see THAT!!!!”

And the Rangers laugh, until they hear a familiar sound! (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!) Usagi says: “It sounds like an important call, we've got to go!”

Bash asks: “Should we start celebrating without you?”

But the Rangers run off without hearing the question! Smash says: “Okay, we'll just start celebrating without you! And hopefully, the Pink Ranger will join us in the festivities!”

As soon as the Rangers, Captain Retro, and D.O.G., get far enough away, Naruto activates his communicator, and starts talking! Naruto says: “Go ahead, Omnus, we're listening.” /

Omnus says: “Rangers, you must return to the Command Center immediately, there are a lot of things we need to discuss, immediately!” /

D.O.G., sighs, and says: “I had a feeling that this might happen!”

Pinkie asks: “What might happen?”

BlackHawk just glances a knowing glance at them, and says: “You will know soon enough!”

 

And they warp back to the Command Center! / As soon as they arrive, they are surprised to see Rita, Zedd, Omnus, Alpha 8, and ZORDON, appears in the Power Tube in the center of them! Zordon says: “Welcome Rangers. I'm sure you've got a lot of questions for us, which demand a lot of answers.”

Lettuce says: “As a matter of fact, we would like to know what is going on.”

Rita says: “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm afraid that my evil sister, Queen Hedrian, has now married the Emperor Diabolica. Now the only way to stop her, is to stop Emperor Diabolica as well!”

Toby says: “That doesn't sound so hard!”

Zedd says: “It's not. Your real challenge will be Rito Revolto! Master Vile left him behind, and transformed him into a perfect warrior! Even the Mighty Morphing Power Ranger team, got thrashed against him when he fought at his TRUE potential!”

 

BlackHawk says: “I've seen the historical archives at the Woo Foo Museum in Neo Chicago. We'll keep our guard up when fighting against him! But...that's not why you called us back here, is it?”

Alpha 8 says: “Aye-yai-yai! It's not! The real problem is that Emperor Diabolica is re-calling his ENTIRE legion of troops away from the galaxies of he's already conquered, to march onto Core Earth! It appears as though Emperor Diabolica is preparing himself, for what he believes will be the final battle against all of you as the Power Rangers!”

Naruto says: “Finally! We're about to go face to face with the evil Emperor himself!”

Zordon says: “But I'm afraid that there are some words of warning that you must listen to! Omnus?”

 

Omnus sighs and says: “Our greatest fears have been confirmed. Radiguet is the source of the Warp's instability! He's the one who is causing your Dino based powers to become unstable!”

Pinkie asks: “What does THAT even mean?!”

BlackHawk says: “Because the six of you derive your Dino based powers from the Warp, it means that your ability to control your Ranger Powers will soon becoming to an end!”

Ebony asks: “And why aren't YOU going to be affected?!”

BlackHawk says: “I didn't ask to be the SPECIAL one! My Orange Ruby derives my powers from my Woo Foo powers, not the Morphing Grid! I won't be affected by the instability!”

Zordon says: “I have set up a psychic barrier around the instability. It should hold the growing chaos for now. But I'm afraid it's only a temporary fix. In a galactic standard month, the barrier will break, and Radiguet's power will SURGE through the rest of the Warp, and corrupt ANYONE who tries to Morph when utilizing the Dino based Ranger Powers!”

 

Usagi asks: “A galactic standard month?! How long is THAT going to be?!”

Alpha 8 says: “Two days, and then six of you will lose your ability to morph into your Dino-based Ranger forms, as well as lose your ability to summon any of the Dino weapons or Dino zords that you've grown accustomed to using!”

 

Zordon says: “Fortunately, not all of the news we have is bad. Rita and Zedd?”

Rita says: “For the last twelve lunar cycles, we have been working on a new source of a more mystic, more legendary based set of Ranger Powers. They've been maturing for the better part of a year now, and they are almost ready for you to claim as your own!”

 

Toby asks: “You mean, we're going to get new Ranger Powers?!”

Zedd says: “Eventually; at least SIX of you will! We currently don't know enough about the Orange Ruby, to determine whether or not it will be compatible with a new set of Ranger Powers or a new zord!”

BlackHawk says: “Look, whatever happens, I'll make the best of things! I always have, before!”

 

Rita says: “We've just got to put the finishing touches on the new zords. Captain Retro has been an immense help to us, gathering all the gears, bolts, rivets, and parts for the weaponry that will be utilized in your new arsenal. Unfortunately, your new powers, are not quite ready yet.”

Naruto asks: “How long do we have to wait?”

Alpha 8 says: “24 days, so I'm afraid that your NEXT battle with Emperor Diabolica will HAVE to be the last one, utilizing your Dino-based Ranger powers! Even Zordon can't buy you anymore time in using them! Everything we've been working towards, will hinge on the crucial, next great battle!”

Lettuce says: “We'll be ready for it, we're Rangers forever!”

Captain Retro says: “And if you ever need any inspiration, just think of me and I'll send you a song, if I'm able to, of course!”

 

D.O.G., says: “I'd sure like to be like YOU, someday!”

Captain Retro says: “Don't worry, my fellow canine! Maybe someday, you WILL be! After all, for the Power Rangers, anything is possible!”

Zedd says: “I'm afraid we must return to Root Core, Captain Retro. Finishing the new Ranger powers is our most important goal, right now!”

Captain Retro says: “Agreed! Power Rangers, I leave the rest to you! And perhaps someday, maybe our paths will cross again someday! Somewhere unexpected! I'll see you then!”

Rita says: “To Root Core!”

And Rita, Zedd, and Captain Retro disappear! Zordon says: “Remember Rangers, as one chapter of your lives as Rangers comes to a close, another new, exciting chapter is bound to come along! Remember, we are all counting on you, to succeed in this battle, for the citizens of goodness and justice everywhere!”

And Zordon disappears! Pinkie asks: “Where did he go to?!”

Omnus says: “Back into the Power Chamber, to meditate and focus the energies of the Morphing Grid. Zordon has his part to play in the upcoming battle, to. It will take his powers of determination, to ensure that the psychic barrier stays in place, and you have all the time you need to finish off Emperor Diabolica for good! Just remember, when the Final Battle comes, you will only have 48 hours to do everything you need to do, before six of you lose your ability to morph with your Dino-based powers; possibly forever!”

BlackHawk says: “It may be the calm before the final storm, but we're not finished here yet! Not by a long shot! If we can take on Radiguet, we can take on anybody! Now and forever!”

The Rangers all put their hands together, and they jump up and say: “Power Rangers!” /

 

Episode Notes: First time that the Power Rangers (besides BlackHawk), have ever actually SEEN Radiguet in person! (Or at least, a version of him!) First time that Rita Repulsa and Lord Zedd (now known as the Magi Mother and the Magi Father) have ever appeared together on “Power Rangers Multiverse Force” as good guys! It is revealed in this episode that Master Vile and Rito Revolto managed to survive Zordon's Energy Wave attack, thanks to the now-deceased Thrax, and Queen Hedrian had one final Hedrian Egg! Mirror, (or rather; the more EVIL, Dark Mirror), reappears in this episode, and introduces the Mirror Rangers! Keeping with their Mirror theme, they even MORPH in the REVERSE order that the actual Power Rangers do! Andros appears in this episode, making him the seventh and final Legendary Ranger to appear in this series! It is revealed that Rita was the one who made the Force Field that is keeping Radiguet from invading Core Earth, and Zedd is the one who was responsible for putting Zordon (seen back in “Origins”), back together! First appearance of Captain Retro in this series, and it is revealed, that BlackHawk HAS met him before! First (and possibly ONLY time), that the Ultrazord's final attack has FAILED to destroy a monster! Although to be fair, Radiguet wasn't EXACTLY an ordinary monster! It is revealed that with the exception of BlackHawk, the other Rangers now only have a limited amount of time to utilize their Dino-based Ranger powers, before Radiguet makes the Warp too unstable and chaotic to use them! It is revealed that Captain Retro used to be the student of Rita and Zedd, and he has been helping them put together a new set of Ranger Powers and Zords, for the Power Rangers to utilize, when the time comes! Emperor Diabolica and Queen Hedrian get married in this episode! Although hinted at before, it is revealed that Queen Hedrian CAN revive her fallen monsters, but she can only perform the trick ONCE! The Mirror Rangers (with the exception of Mirror Lettuce), Mirror Radiguet, the DARK Mirror, and all the Hedrian Monsters, are destroyed for good! Master Vile turns Rito Revolto into a mad, genius warrior so he can fight to his FULL potential, and possibly destroy Emperor Diabolica when the time comes! Emperor Diabolica recalls his entire legion of troops to Core Earth, to prepare for one last battle, against the Power Rangers! The source of the songs that BlackHawk and Pinkie Pie always seem to hear, is revealed to come from songs that Captain Retro plays, and they BOTH can here it due to their sensitive connection with the Woo Foo Energy waves! Featured song in this episode; fittingly enough, Genesis' “Land of Confusion!” /

 

Personal Notes: I personally feel that this episode was a LOT darker, and a LOT scarier, than any episode that I had written PREVIOUSLY! The reason why I had to get all of Queen Hedrian's troops out of the way? It will make sense soon enough. And the REAL reason for six of the Rangers about to lose their Dino-based powers? It's all to bring a close to the first chapter (or season) of Power Rangers Multiverse Force, and set up the second chapter (or season) of Power Rangers Multiverse Force! Who will the Rangers be fighting against?! As has been often repeated in this two-part special; “You will know when the time comes!” / That's my episode idea for today! Enough said, true believers!

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

The Laughter of Thirsting Gods: Part I

 

Previously on Power Rangers: Multiverse Force…

 

After escaping the Dark Mirror Dimension and defeating that universe’s Radiguet, the Rangers have returned to Core Earth to find out some terrible news: Emperor Diabolica is gathering an army for what is presumed to be one last battle. To make matters worse, their current powers are fading, putting them at an absolutely crippling disadvantage. Deciding that they have no choice, the Rangers decide to gather an army of their own...by venturing into the Warp itself and allying themselves with the four Chaos Gods. With a psychic force field protecting the planet and only 48 hours until the dinosaur-based powers completely disappear, the Rangers now have the entire multiverse’s fate in their hands…

 

“I still think it’s a bad idea.” Blackhawk spoke up. The Rangers had been in the Command Center, debating their next course of action. “Allying ourselves with the Chaos Gods? That just isn’t going to be possible, and even if it was, who’s to say they won’t betray us when the opportunity presents itself?”

 

“I see your point,” Toby said. “But we have no choice.”

 

“Yeah.” agreed Naruto. “We only have 48 hours left until our powers fade.”

 

“Your powers nonwithstanding, since they don’t come from the Morphing Grid.” Lettuce said to Blackhawk.

 

“Even then,” said Ebony. “You’re still part of this team, Blackhawk, and we all have to come to a decision and fast.” At this, she pouted cutely, her eyes growing bigger. “Pweeeease?” she asked adorably. “For me?”

 

Blackhawk groaned, then sighed in defeat. “Oh, all right...but only because you’re my girlfriend.” Ebony threw her arms around her man...hawk...whatever, and he hugged her back, nuzzling her hair with his beak.

 

“I just had a thought.” Pinkie said. “Just how are we going to go into the Warp?”

 

“I have the solution.” Alpha 8 suggested. “I can open a portal into the Warp, but it won’t last very long. Just remember: once you go into the Warp, you may never return...and if you do, who knows how much time will have passed?”

 

“Are you sure?” Naruto asked, his tone serious. “We’ll never return?”

 

“I said you may never return.” said Alpha. “That still doesn’t make the situation any better, you know.” The little robot began setting up the portal, as the Rangers turned to Omnus, wondering if he had to say anything.

 

Omnus was silent for a moment, looking over the team. Then, he spoke.

 

“I have been into the Warp before...more times than I would care to. It is a terrible place, where every thought, emotion, dream and fear of the sentient peoples of the galaxy take shape. The Ruinous Powers, Chaos Gods, They Who Rule, whatever you choose to call them, are dangerous. More dangerous than anything you have ever encountered. So, I will stress this: When dealing with the Gods. Do. Not. Provoke. Them. If you are lucky, They kill simply kill you. If you are not lucky...well, this will be the last time I see you with working brains. The Ruinous Powers can get...creative when punishing defiance.

 

You will see things in the Warp. Secrets you have buried brought to the light, parts of your personalities and natures exposed you wished to keep hidden. The Gods will try to coerce and tempt you with deals that seem too good to be true. Do not listen to them. You are a team, above all else. I expect you to act like it. If you don't, they'll rip your minds and bonds apart like wet tissue paper. Understand?”

 

“Understood.” said Naruto. “As this team’s leader, I will speak for all seven of us when I say our friendships will not be torn apart.” As Naruto finished his sentence, Alpha got the portal working. It was a ghastly swirl of purple energy, the screams of the damned souls within emanating faintly.

 

“Are you ready, Rangers?” the robot asked, his tone afraid.

 

“Yes.” said Naruto.

 

“Roger that.” said Toby and Lettuce.

 

“Ready.” said Usagi.

 

“I’m ready.” said Pinkie, her usually-exhuberant tone now gone from the gravity of the situation.

 

“Then let’s go.” said Blackhawk and Ebony.

 

“...Good luck, Rangers.” Alpha said. “Omnus and I will miss you dearly.” Even though he could not cry, the little robot’s voice module was breaking all the same. “...And may the power protect you.” With that each of the Rangers stepped through the portal one by one for what might’ve been their last mission.

 

The portal took them to the Realm of Khorne. Though the daemon-filled battlefields of Khorne's domain in the Realm of Chaos are many, and each is vast beyond reckoning, there is more to this blasted land than just blood-soaked plains populated with warring daemons. Violence and despair are constant travelling companions for any unfortunate soul cursed to briefly wander there. Each foreboding hellscape leads to another, more grim than the last. At the heart of it all, Khorne watches from His Skull Throne, surveying his lands and pitting His forces against any convenient foe, be they fellow daemons or foolhardy invaders who seek to wage a doomed war on the Lord of Battle.

It is a realm unlike any other. Storms rage perpetually across crimson skies, sending gale-force blasts seemingly composed of pure rage whipping across the plains and mountains. These angry winds tear into the land itself and rip up great chunks of stone and blood-drenched earth, tossing them violently back down hundreds of leagues away in explosions of raw destruction. The land, for its part, fights back against the brutal assault of the heavens. Earthquakes send gouts of molten brass skyward, burning up the storm clouds, temporarily ending their rage until the winds re-gather to begin their assaults anew. New mountains erupt from flat land in an instant, some thrusting into the sky like gigantic living swords, others acting as shields against the advance of the storms.

Rivers of boiling blood criss-cross the hellish landscape, dividing the realm into territories over which rival Bloodthirsters wage war. The blood-flows are not content to allow the conquered lands to rest idle. From deep below the ground, new rivers strike through the surface, splitting the lands as easily as an axe opens the bloated gut of a lazy bureaucrat. Each crimson flow sucks down all that once occupied the space, including any daemon legions that might have been marching there. As with its war against the sky, the land retaliates, pushing the banks of the rivers to close in upon themselves. The brass-spewing volcanoes send liquid metal into the rivers, evaporating the blood within and sealing the wounds with burning fury.

Each piece of the realm of battle constantly fights to obliterate the others. Each acts like a living servant of Khorne, wanting to prove to the Master of the land that it is the most worthy of His rewards. A visitor to this nightmare realm would surely be driven mad, knowing that every rock, every breeze, and every drop of what should be water is an enemy, looking to kill him with just as much purpose, desire, and violence as the multitudinous daemons of the Blood God inhabiting the land. To witness the carnage of the realm of Khorne is to know that conflict is a living, breathing thing and not just a curse that troubles the worlds of men, machines, and aliens. It is to know an eternal truth and, thus, to know despair.


At the outermost edge of this domain there lies a ring of volcanoes that scholars of the profane have come to call Khorne's Rage. Reaching hundreds of miles into the air, they belch their thick black smoke and molten brass skyward, creating an impenetrable border that can neither be seen through nor navigated. Darkness and ash hang there, lit ominously from beneath by gouts of flame that incinerate the loose debris along the sides of the volcanoes. Within the ash clouds, blood storms roil. Red lightning dances across the clouds as thunder cracks and rolls, like the snap of a Bloodthirster's whip followed by the sound of the hooves of a thousand charging Juggernauts.

These peaks stand as a bastion against invaders, their toxic ash and scorching brass flows enough to deter all but the most determined of forces. Those who are arrogant, or foolish, enough to make the attempt to cross the torturous border are met with more than barriers of heat and jagged rock. The very rock and brass of Khorne's Rage itself rises up to crush the attackers. Pieces of the rock break away from the side of the mountains, molten  brass flowing into them in a hellish semblance of life blood. Daemons of stone and liquid metal take form, born of rage and defiance. With mindless fury and unadulterated violence, they bludgeon and scorch their foes. Once their grim task is complete, they fall back into lifeless piles, waiting for the call to reform and defend the borders of their Master's realm.


At the base of the volcanoes are the forges of the lesser furnace-daemons. In these sweltering workshops, weapons of war are crafted. All manner of axes, swords, hammers, and armour are created to supply the Blood God's eternal wars. Here, too, the components of Khorne’s Daemon Engines are made. Assembly of these huge constructs of war is conducted elsewhere, but the cogs, blades, housings, and armaments all have their beginning here, at the foot of Khorne's Rage. It is a dangerous place to reside, even by the standards of the rest of the realm. At any moment a volcano could erupt, flooding the forge with molten brass. It is of no concern to Khorne if a few daemons are incinerated in such mishaps; others rise from the Blood Pits to take their place, and the forges continue.

Despite the risks, the furnace-Daemons are able to take advantage of the dangers of Khorne's Rage. Across the plains of battle, it is almost exclusively Khorne's own minions that do battle and perish. At the fringes of the realm, however, other warriors die agonising, terrible, bloody deaths. Using tools of fiendish design and rites that even the most depraved Chaos Sorcerers would dare not undertake, the masters of the hell-forges enslave the souls of those mortals who would dare invade the Blood God's realm and fuse them with the anvils of Khorne. The tormented screams of those thus eternally imprisoned blend with the ringing and clanging of each falling hammer that strikes the forge. When white-hot metal is placed on the anvil and pounded into form, the bound soul feels the scorching heat. Thus, as each new weapon or piece of armour is crafted in the Daemon Forges, it is born to the sounds of Khorne's enemies suffering His everlasting wrath.


Warp energy, the raw stuff of Chaos, constantly swirls across the realms of all of the Greater Powers. Its currents and eddies shift and meander seemingly at random, causing mutation within the very land itself and everyone and everything they touch. In most cases, this power does not linger in any one place for long. There are, however, locations throughout the Blood God's treacherous domain where the power of the Warp collects and stirs. When this happens, great craters are often gouged into the blasted plains. None can say if it takes moments or millennia for these pits to form, for time is meaningless within the Realm of Chaos.

Eventually, the Warpstorms break apart, sometimes seeping into the very pits they created. When this happens, Khorne commands his minions to intensify their efforts to harvest blood from the mortal world, using the most violent, destructive, and devastating methods they can possibly bring to bear. The souls that perish in such a campaign give their blood to a special, dark cause. Their crimson essence is collected in the pit, where it is mixed with molten brass and a measure of Khorne's own murderous bile. The resultant lake is a new Blood Pit.

It is from the Blood Pits that new daemons of Khorne arise. Bloodletters, furnace-Daemons, and many lesser fiends steadily emerge from the Warp and bile infused blood, ready to do their Master's bidding. The soldiers that vomit forth from that pit will be charged from the day of their creation until the day they fail their master in combat with claiming more blood to refill their pit. Eventually a pit goes dry, but without fail, soon after it does a new storm begins to brew, restarting the cycle of bloodshed.


Dividing one region of Khorne's realm from another like jagged crimson scars on the scorched land are the rivers of blood. These miles-wide flows are filled with the blood of those who have fallen in service to Khorne, be they victims or followers. Nearly all blood that is shed on his behalf finds its way to these sanguine canals. The blood itself is hot to the point of boiling. Steam made of vaporised blood hangs in the air all along the length of the rivers, creating a palpable red cast to the regions through which they run. Gigantic bubbles rise to the surface, carrying with them occasional remains of something that was unfortunate enough to have fallen into the river. As the bubbles burst, globules of steaming hot blood launch hundreds of feet into the air, coming back to the ground and landing on the shores in splatter patterns that often resemble the spray of an opened artery.

 

Thousands of blood rivers cut through the land and end up emptying over a bleak precipice miles high, plunging downward in waterfalls of gore. The lake that forms at the base of the wall is larger than any ocean in the mortal realm and populated with creatures that cannot be. Leviathans of brass and bone swim through the lake, devouring all as they pass. Soaring above the lake, Bloodthirsters fight with dragons of pure, solid blood. Those that stray too close to the surface of the lake risk being snatched out of the air by the very lake itself, so hungry is it for carnage. Rising waves on the surface take the shape of warriors and do battle, crashing violently into each other and falling back to the surface in a rain of scattered blood.

On the far shore of the Lake of Slaughter, the ground is littered with skulls, so many, in fact, that whatever foundation may lie beneath them cannot be touched. For miles these skulls stretch away from the shore, and in the distance there rises a great black wall. This is the outer wall of Khorne's brass citadel. Upon the wall stand guardian daemons, with eyes as sharp as their fangs and swords. They watch for any intruder, ready to defend their Master to the last. Within the walls there are thousands of Flesh Hounds patrolling the skull-yard, sniffing out the blood scent of any who would dare attempt incursion. In the skies, flying between the outer walls and the inner keep, elite Bloodthirsters listen for sounds of invasion on the wind. It is rare that any force musters the strength to assault the Brass Fortress, its guardians deterring all but the most foolish or daring of Khorne's rivals from even trying.

When the attempt is made, the might of the Blood God's personal host is brought to bear with a fury and rage that threatens to rip a hole between realms. While Khorne's brother Chaos Gods could gain much power should they defeat him in his fortress, the risk of counter-invasion is too great for such wars to be waged without dire cause. It is said that if Khorne Himself should rouse from his throne and personally go to war against the other Dark Gods, His favoured blade would end them all in one mighty sweep, but that such an act would have calamitous results that not even Tzeentch could predict. It is said that Khorne Himself was once consumed by such rage that he took up his sword and smote the ground, splitting it asunder for eternity. This fell sword is known by many names including Warmaker and The End of All Things, and is capable of laying waste to entire worlds with a single blow. Because of this, an uneasy state of balance exists. When Khorne does obliterate the invading armies of his brother Gods, they do not exact retribution directly. When the threat is ended, neither does Khorne press the advantage, but rather turns back toward His inner sanctum and reclaims His place atop the Throne of Skulls. Thus is balance maintained in the eternal Great Game.



In the very centre of the brass citadel, beyond the Bastion Stair and the eight Iron Pillars, Khorne watches over all his minions from His seat on the Throne of Skulls. From there He commands His legions to bring war to the distant corners of the galaxy. Every victory He witnesses leaves him thirsting for more blood. With every defeat, He takes the blood of a failed champion and adds it to the rivers of His realm. Blood will be His; if He must harvest it from His own minions, so be it. Surrounding the Throne on all sides is a mound of skulls that holds Khorne aloft on His perch. Champions and fallen enemies alike contribute to the mass of bone. Could these skulls speak, some would tell tales from before the Rangers knew were even a forethought, of wars that lasted for eons. Others would speak of grave mistakes that caused their entire race to fall to the axes of legions of Berserkers. The skulls closest to Him, those of his favoured Champions who have perished in service to their lord after hundreds of violent campaigns, would call out across eternity, once more bellowing their war cry: "Blood for the Blood God!”

 

All of this they could see for the first moment they were in His realm, before they descended gently to the ground. Not far from them stood a massive warrior. He wore a cloak made of skulls, stretching several feet behind him. A crown made of brass and iron sat on his head, and his body was adorned with armor made of the same metals. In his left hand was a bloodied axe, and in his right was a severed head, blood dripping from the neck. In front of him was a mound of corpses over twenty feet high. He was An'ggrath the Unbound, Guardian of the Throne of Skulls, Most Favoured of Khorne, Lord of Bloodthirsters and the Deathbringer.

 

“Is this Hell?” Naruto asked. “Because that guy must be the devil.”

 

“We’re in Khorne’s realm,” Blackhawk replied. “And that guy is the Blood God’s best warrior.”

 

“Um, excuse me!” said Usagi. “We are the Power Rangers, and we’ve come for aid!” Toby gave her a bewildered look. “I’m sorry! That’s the best I could come up with.”

 

An'ggrath turned on his heel, looking at them. He said, his voice deep and booming, “Ah, yes, the Rangers. My Lord speaks of you. Or, rather, He speaks of you.”

 

He pointed at Usagi.

 

“M-me?!” the girl stammered, a blush overcoming her. “Why me?!”

 

“He can see what you have done...and what you will do. One day, you will be known by many titles: The Blade of Light. The Bane of the Warp. Sunwielder. Shadow-razer. Daemons will hear your name and quake in sheer terror.”

 

Usagi just trembled, quivering like jelly as Toby went over to calm her down. “What do you mean by all that?” he questioned, his tone one of upfrontness and sincerity.

 

An'ggrath replied, “I mean that, one day, she will be an opponent to be feared, an opponent worthy of a duel with me, one against one. And, believe me…”

 

A Daemon dove at him from atop the mound. The Bloodthirster cut it in half without looking, the torso landing near the Rangers.

 

“...that is no faint praise.” He finished.

 

The reactions of the Rangers were, altogether...nauseating. The sight of the sliced Daemon horrified them, and showed that this task would be like none they’d seen before. “Umm…” said Lettuce. “Can you take us to your Master? We’ll explain why we’re here once we do.”

 

An'ggrath cocked his head, listening to something. Then, he said, “No. You will explain now. Otherwise...well, we will treat it as if you came here for glorious, bloody combat.”

 

“Lord An’ggrath,” Blackhawk said, bowing before the Greater Daemon. “We have come to your Lord’s realm so that we may defeat our greatest foe, Emperor Diabolica of the Taurans.”

 

Silence, then An’ggrath snorted. “Greatest foe? The greatest foes I have faced could wipe their arses with Diabolica.”

 

He chuckled. “Greatest foe...what a fucking joke…”

 

The Daemon twitched. He strode over to it, bent down, and tore off it’s head with little effort. An’ggrath regarded it, and hung it from his armor. He stood again and gestured for them to follow him, before heading toward the Brass Citadel.

 

As the Rangers walked, Ebony asked, “So, I guess your Lord isn’t too fond of Emperor Diabolica?”

 

The Bloodthirster said, his tone dry, “No shit. He's a whelp, a child taking the power granted by the favor of my Lord and the other Powers and wasting it.”

 

He spat. “The only reason he hasn't felt my hands around his throat is because Lord Khorne hasn't sent me to kill him yet.”

 

“Interesting.” Lettuce said. “...Didn’t he kill his parents as a result of some kind of Oedipus complex?”

 

An'ggrath answered, shrugging, “If he did, don't expect me or my Master to care. Lord Khorne doesn't care from where or who the blood flows; Only that it does.”

 

“If your Master is all about fighting,” said Naruto. “Then He’s been watching all of our battles?”

 

“Aye, He has. The is no battle that escapes His sight, no death that slips by His gaze...you look sick, pink pony. Don't care to hear that my Master relishes killing and war?”

 

Pinkie had to keep herself from vomiting. “No...all I wanna know is if your Master eats...Khorne Flakes.” A joke, she thought, would hopefully brighten the mood...or maybe not, seeing as this was a warrior’s realm.

 

Silence...then An'ggrath laughed. “That's...Khorne Flakes...that's actually pretty clever…”

 

“Thanks.” Pinkie said. “I enjoy making others happy. It’s my special talent!”

 

An’ggrath was about to reply, before stopping. Daemons were coming, bellowing. An’ggrath said, “The Citadel is close. Go see my Master.”

 

With that, he charged into the advancing horde, and a frenzied melee began, limbs, blood and severed heads filling the air.

 

“BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! SOULS FOR THE SOUL EATER! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! SOULS FOR THE SOUL EATER! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! SOULS FOR THE SOUL EATER!” the Daemons chanted.

 

“...That’s the same thing that one monster was chanting…” Naruto realized.

 

“...You mean that one Diabolica called General Crush? The one Blackhawk sealed back into the Warp?” Toby asked.

 

“Yeah.” Naruto said. “Judging from all these other daemons, I’m guessing his title of ‘general’ was self-proclaimed and informal.”

 

“BUT OF COURSE!” a Daemon said, staring at the Rangers. “You are referring to the Bloodletter K’rsh, yes?”

 

“...Yes.” said Naruto, who was terrified beyond all measure.

 

“He’s Lord Khorne’s less favorite, and the battle between you and him is his favorite.” the Daemon chuckled. “Come in! Lord Khorne welcomes you!”

 

Another voice spoke, this one strange, considering it sounded female, “Indeed, he does. All warriors are welcome here.”

 

Another Daemon had appeared. She was more slender, and a bit shorter, than the others, with the Daemon who had spoken to them about a head taller. A blade, carved from black obsidian, was sheathed on her back, and she wore armor made of the same stone. Her eyes were a bright, icy blue, and her skin was light red, almost pink. She had two wings, folded across her back, four horns on her head, and two clawed hands and feet. She was, overall, less ugly than the other Daemons they had encountered.

 

The Daemoness said, “I am Kras’hir. My Lord has commanded me to be your guide, accompanying you through the Warp. I will be weaker when we depart from this Realm, but I will still be able to fight if the need arises.”

 

Kras’hir would quickly see how Ebony was eyeing her, the quarter-vampire trying to avert her gaze.

 

Kras’hir raised a brow. “What is it, child? What are you looking at?”

 

“...You.” Blackhawk answered, a hint of jealousy in his voice. “She’s looking at you.”

 

“Why?”

 

“...Because I find you attractive, all right?!” Ebony shrieked, baring her teeth in frustration.

 

Kras’hir blinked. Then blinked again. She was unsure how to respond.

 

“...Erm…” Lettuce spoke up. “Onwards, to Lord Khorne!” The Rangers walked forward, Blackhawk looking back at Ebony with a stoic expression.

 

The Throne Room of Khorne was unbelievably huge. Atop a mound of skulls sat the Brass Throne, and atop the Brass Throne sat the Blood God. He was easily five hundred feet tall. Massive chains wrapped around His burly frame, and He wore ancient-looking brass armor. On His head was a crown, carved into the shape of a snarling wolf head...or that was His head. It was hard to tell. On each finger was a ring, carved from the skulls of lesser war gods. Leaning against the throne was a massive sword, Warbringer. Flames burned in pits around the room, black, powered and fueled by the souls of cowards and deserters. And, around the room, the Flesh Hound Karanak paced, waiting for souls to devour.

 

The Rangers approached slowly and carefully, in case Khorne decided to attack them given His unpredictable nature. “Lord Khorne, O Mighty Blood God and Purveyor of Skulls, we seek your aid.” said Toby.

 

Khorne growled, His voice shaking the floor, “Do not attempt to flatter me, child. I am not Slaanesh. I respect your might, not your tongue.”

 

“In any case,” said Naruto. “You know why we’re here.”

 

“Yes.” Khorne said. “I also don't care.”

 

“...You mean to tell me,” said Naruto. “That you don’t CARE IF THE ENTIRE MULTIVERSE IS AT STAKE?!” Lettuce and Toby held their snarling leader back so he couldn’t do anything rash.

 

“The Warp will endure. Diabolica, as powerful as he is, cannot destroy every universe. Blood will flow, death will occur, and I will be satisfied, regardless of the outcome.”

 

“SCREW YOU!” Naruto said. “SCREW EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR, YOU HEARTLESS MONSTER!”

 

“Naruto, don’t provoke Him!” Blackhawk warned.

 

“I will grant you one boon, as I am feeling...generous: My Daemons will march, now, on Diabolica. They will fight and kill and shed blood, and I will be satisfied. They will not be under your command, but it is better than nothing, yes?”

 

Naruto quickly calmed down, and sighed. “...Yes.”

 

“Very good. Now, get out of My sight.”

 

With a flick of His wrist, the Rangers were sent to the Palace of Slaanesh, their Daemon guide following.

 

Slaanesh is unique among his brother-gods. He does not try to keep others out. He invites them in. Through a series of tests, he defends his gleaming palace against assault. Tales such as that of the Heretic Cardinal describe this Palace of Pleasure as sitting at the centre of the Pain Master’s empire, surrounded by six other domains arranged in concentric rings. Each ring holds different temptations for those who wander through it, imploring them to succumb to the pleasures it offers.

Temptation is a weapon just as powerful as a Chainsword or Bolter. Traps can be sprung to eliminate the weak and dim. The bodies of those who succumb to the myriad temptations of the Dark Prince's realm are consumed by the land itself, or turned into statues that beautify the view for others. The souls of these lost and damned unfortunates feed Slaanesh's insatiable hunger. He invites them in so that they might sustain him and his realm. Those who pass early tests may catch Slaanesh’s eye, giving him some amusement for a time as he watches them resist, only to inevitably lose themselves to one seduction or another. Those rare few who make it to the outer walls of the Palace of Pleasure may be graced by a visit from the Lord of Excess himself. None have ever made it into the Palace itself unless Slaanesh wished it, for all who have looked upon his perfection have fallen to their knees and given themselves over, mind, body, and soul, to his Dark Majesty.

When day turns to night and the golden hues are replaced by soft blue, the sky shimmers ceaselessly. The heavens are filled with diamonds that seem as if they could be plucked from their place in the sky if one could but reach just a little further. Indeed, many try to do just that, forgetting themselves as they do, not paying attention to their surroundings. Higher and higher they reach, climbing trees made of pure gold, even leaping from the boughs, only to plummet back to the ground, fracturing skulls and rupturing organs when they crash. The end comes to them then, but it is a joyous one, for in their minds they see only handfuls of glittering jewels. It is a temporary joy, however. In exchange for a fleeting moment of false elation, they forfeit their immortal souls.

Scholars of the Ruinous Powers collate tales of the impossible realms of Pleasure and Pain, and often describe the first of Slaanesh’s treacherous domains as confronting visitors with a spectacle of riches beyond the wildest dreams of even the most avaricious merchants. They tell of trees, grass, and other plants made from living gold. Gentle breezes cause the grass to shimmer like the waters of an ocean under a noon sun. As the wind passes over the blades of grass and through the branches and leaves of the trees, it takes on a voice that beckons all to take as much as they want and more. The mountains that rise up on the horizon reflect a glorious warm light, letting all who see them know that they too are formed from gold. Pathways through the fields are paved with cobblestones not of granite or shale, but of ruby and emerald. At the edges of the paths, loose gemstones and gold nuggets sit, waiting for anyone to pick them up and slip them in a pouch. There is always room for one more glittering stone, one more pebble of gold. Wandering souls ensnared by this domain would do well to recall the legends that say that if those who lined their pockets with these treasures were able to take their eyes off the objects of their desire, they would note that not all they see was shining. Dull bits of bone and other remains are plentiful here as well. These are all that is left of those who filled their pockets, pouches, sleeves, and boots with so much gold that they collapsed under the weight of it. Unwilling or unable to let the riches go, they died where they fell, smiles on their faces despite their impending ends.


Mad ravings from those who claim to have seen into the beyond say that if an intruder is able to pass through the golden fields without succumbing to greed, he is next confronted with a lake so vast, its shorelines fades to nothing in the distance. The only other land to be seen is a smattering of pale islands, connected to each other by a network of bridges. The finest wine serves as water in this lake but no cups wait to be filled. The bouquet of the wine is strong, pleasant, and enticing. Words from fiery sermons begin to fade in the face of such serenity. Most visitors take very little time before they give up on the idea of cups and fall to their knees to drink directly from the lake. Heads swimming with delightful intoxication, many continue to drink until they slip into the waters and sink below the surface, never to be seen again.

Those who are able to lift their heads from the wine cast their gaze more closely on the islands and see them for what they are—hunched giants holding aloft great tables heaped with extravagant feasts. Exotic fruits, rich breads, and meats of every kind are present. Swimming to these islands is perilous, and many whose senses have become wine-addled sink beneath the waves, joining the countless others who have slipped beneath the carmine liquid. For the ones that make it, the reward is astonishing. Each bite is better than the finest meal they have ever experienced. Each morsel is a decadent delight for the tongue. Faster and faster the wayward consume the food. The voracious eater forces handful after handful down his throat. In his blind need to consume, he does not notice that some of the meat comes from carcasses with an all-too-familiar form. Even if he were to somehow stop forcing food into his own stomach long enough to recognise the fate that awaits him, he could not stop. Given completely over to gluttonous indulgence, the mortal only stops eating when his body fails and he finally collapses into the feast, awaiting the next hungry diner.


There is perhaps no easier way to corrupt a mortal than to appeal to his carnal instincts. Entire libraries are filled with tales of lurid corruption on one side and manuals with instructions for fighting it on the other. In his heart, a Preacher knows that his congregation is most likely to fall because of the indulgences of lascivious desire than from any other temptation. The Dark Prince surely knows this as well, and it is why the legends say he fills the third ring of his domain with visions, scents, and experiences that overload the mind and body of anyone who makes it this far.

Rich fields of pleasingly textured grasses fill this ring, lit with teasing, golden hues. Soft tents made of spun dream-threads reflect visions gleaned from the deep subconscious of those who gaze upon them, forming sinuous corridors so narrow that a traveller cannot help but brush up against them and feel their cloying embrace. From one vista to the next, visitors travel through a series of decadent tableaus, each more twisted and inviting than the one before it. The crude flesh dens of the underhives or the elegant shadowed parlours of the spires cannot present anything close to what the Lord of Endless Delights offers. Daemon and mortal bodies entwine until they become one. Forms so beautiful they are difficult to look at lie couchant, beckoning. Resisting is all but impossible.

The sights and sounds of the offered pleasures are sufficient to enthral most who see and hear them. The assault on the senses does not end with these things, though. The air hangs heavy with an intoxicating musk so rich and pervasive that it penetrates the flesh of all who pass through it, quickening the heart and opening the senses further than thought possible. Thus stimulated, flesh becomes hyper sensitive to even the most gentle breath of air or tender caress. Scents waft from braziers in which smoulder the embers of an incense that triggers memories of amorous encounters of the past. A mortal in this state is easy prey for the purveyors of delights that surround them. Closing in on their now-willing victims, Daemonettes offer comforts with softly voluptuous flesh, kisses from razor-fanged mouths, and embraces from piercing claws.
 

Within the ranks of the militaries of every race, talk of glory is common. Troops are motivated to achieve more than they believe they can by speeches from commanders who exhort the ranks onward to glorious victory. When battles are won, the returning heroes are held high and showered with praise and adoration. This effect on the hero can be profound. More is possible, he thinks. More can be achieved. More glory can be his. Insidiously, this can also lead to fears of letting it all slip away, of failure and derision. In these thoughts, a path to Slaanesh is laid at the feet of the hero.

This path is not restricted to the military. Leaders of government, churches, and cults all seek approval as well. Even fathers want their children to look up to them. The path described in the Heretic Cardinal’s confession is crowded with wayward souls—a path that leads to the fourth circle of The Dark Prince’s domain.

For each visitor here, the experience is unique, though there are commonalities for many. Massed throngs may greet a soldier, cheering his name and erecting statues in his honour. Planetary Governors may see themselves establishing such complete order that they gain control of an entire system. Whatever the scenario presented to him, the victim of these visions finds it incredibly difficult to pull himself out of the dream. Unlike the dreams experienced when a person sleeps, these illusions do nothing to seem impossible. A soldier has seen others elevated and has been trained for acts of glory. Histories are filled with tales of governors who have carved out greater realms among the stars. These and more offer solidity to the visions encountered, drawing the dreamer farther and farther into illusionary depths.

Only self-doubt gnaws at some, and these are the ones who break free. When they do, the dream shatters, revealing, if only for an instant, a vast plain of black soot. Upon it heaps of bones are buried beneath the bodies of millions of others, standing and lying in the burned ashes, still trapped in their individual delusions. The unsettling image flashes by in an instant and the traveller is confronted by the traps of the next circle.




Next is the fifth circle. What appears to be a grand forest, with dense clusters of majestic trees that house secluded glades is, of course, a trap. The sound baffling effect of the trees puts the mind in an introspective position. The long walk gives it time to wander. The glades are inviting and serene. In the centre of each glade is a perfectly still pool that invites the traveller to sit and reflect upon his thoughts. As he stares into the pool, he recalls his accomplishments and dwells on what more he could achieve. Sitting there lost in thought, the undergrowth of the glade begins to creep in on him. Thorny branches reach toward him. Strangling vines descend from the trees and gently coil around his neck. As he closes his eyes and imagines himself striking down legendary foes, conquering galaxy-spanning civilisations, or negotiating heavily favourable Warrants of Trade, the waters of the pool rise up and take the shape of whatever represents defeat for the dreamer. Sensing something is amiss, the ensnared visitor opens his eyes and is confronted by a vision of shame and defeat just before the branches and vines rip at his flesh and choke the air from his lungs. The sound of his final scream, stifled by a lack of air, is a delight to the Prince of Painful Raptures.

An incredibly small number of travellers resist the temptation to dream and are spared the torment of confronting their failings. They rise, exhausted by their trials, and pass into the sixth and final realm that stands between them and the Palace of Pleasure.


Life in the galaxy is often hard, short, and brutal. For many, each day is a struggle to simply survive to the end of the day. Even races that do not suffer the oppressive yoke of Imperial rule are not without burdens. The Eldar, for example, must ensure that their Craftworlds are supplied and ready to repel invaders, all the while haunted by the knowledge of the terrible fate that can await them should their souls fall to the Lord of Pain. Still, bodies need rest. Surely any wanderer who has made it to the last of Slaanesh’s defensive rings must be weary, and especially deserving of repose, even if only for a moment.

Upon emerging from the delightful torments of the previous five domains, anyone who could resist the seduction placed before them at this point would surely become legend. Awaiting the beleaguered traveller, say the whispers of those depraved wretches languishing in perfumed palaces and pleasure dens, is a vision of sublime peace. All struggle is surely a thing of the past. All torment a distant memory. Here is a beach of softest sand, warmed by the rays of a golden sun. Gentle breezes push scattered clouds through a perfect azure sky. Music is carried on those same breezes, soothing the spirit. The ground itself rises up and caresses the body of the weary wanderer. Cherubs begin to remove armour plates and burdensome belongings. Coalescing from the salted mists of the waves that break upon the shore, figures with placid features and soothing hands approach and rub tired muscles. The memories of an arduous journey fade into nothingness. Peace is the wanderer’s at last.

It is peace eternal if the will is not strong enough to snap consciousness back to reality. Determination sends the placid apparitions screaming back to the seas. Resolve collects displaced armour and other possessions. Herculean effort forces the few strongest invaders to rise up and approach the final destination. The Palace of Pleasure lies ahead, and surely any who could pass through the six trials is prepared for what awaits.

A determined warrior, Daemon or mortal, who survived the predations of the six circles and their inhabitants would naturally assume that the Palace of Pleasure, Slaanesh’s residence and seat of power, would be defended with legions of Daemonettes and Fiends. Surely his Keepers of Secrets would confront any invader that made it to the Dark Prince’s abode. Thick walls must surround the grounds and towers of his demesne.

Slaanesh has no need of such defences, however. Any invading force, from a lone Lord of Change, to legions of Bloodletters, would find that the only guardians present would be statues of the finest alabaster and perfectly shaped trees. Confused as these warriors might be, nothing could prepare them for the presence of the master of the realm. As the invaders contemplate what they perceive as a lack of defence, the air stills. Unseen choirs sing, and ears weep at the unholy harmonies. A god emerges from his palace. Striding confidently toward the awestruck invaders, the Dark Prince smiles. It is enough to completely disarm any who stand in his presence. They are lost, and they care little of the fact. This, the tales say, is why there are no defensive walls or Daemonic hordes. There is simply no need. Resistance in the face of perfection is not a possibility.

What becomes of those thus ensnared is beyond speculation and more the subject of fevered dreams. Not one soul has trod upon the grounds of the Palace of Pleasure and returned to tell the tale. Scholars of the obscene and decadent debate not only the fate of those who get this far, but even the very structure of the grounds and the palace itself. There being no firsthand accounts, who can say for sure what form the citadel takes? Some say the palace is a single humble dwelling, making the appearance of the Lord of Obsession even more grand in comparison. Other say it is the most opulent structure ever conceived, stretching for miles in every direction, including upward. Most agree that it must be magnificent. A god of excess and perfection must have a domicile to match. If this is correct, then the spires of gold and marble surely ring an inner courtyard wherein statues of exquisite realism are placed. These statues might be the final form of those who succumbed to the disarming allure of Slaanesh. If so, then their faces would bear a countenance of absolute joy. These statues would capture forever the perfect moment of grace that one would surely feel in the presence of perfection.

It may be that the only inhabitant of the Palace of Pleasure is Slaanesh himself. Perhaps no Daemons of any kind are required to embellish his inner sanctum. Or it may be that the palace is filled with life, a den of iniquity where decadence unrivalled is played out eternally. Regardless, it is the seat of power for the Lord of Pleasure, the Master of Painful Delights, the God of Obsession. It is home to Slaanesh.

 

The Rangers soon found themselves in the first Circle of the Palace, dedicated to Avidity, or Greed. “This reminds me of a book I read once.” Lettuce said.

 

“Dante’s Inferno.” replied Blackhawk. “Or, if you wanna get technical, The Divine Comedy.”

 

Wealth beyond imagining was scattered around them: Gold, silver, jewelry, priceless artifacts, precious metals never seen outside the Warp. If it was valuable, it was there. So very alluring...but so very dangerous. “Oh my God!” squealed Ebony. “LOOK AT ALL THIS COOL JEWELRY!” she shouted, running towards a priceless scarlet ruby. Blackhawk caught her arm just as she was reaching for it.

 

“Don’t.” Blackhawk said. “You’ll become corrupted and spend eternity in here.” Naruto saw a pair of gleaming ancient katanas, yet resisted the urge. Lettuce found himself trying to resist cookware encrusted with fine jewels and gold. Usagi ended up finding precious rings, like the ones she saw in films. Pinkie, thankfully, felt she needed no material possessions and merrily bounced alongside Kras’hir. Blackhawk followed her example, and dragged the other Rangers, who were acting like spoiled children, alongside him.

 

The next Circle would invite them to gluttony. They found themselves facing a lake of cold, alluring wine. Other lost souls were on their hands and knees, drinking mouthfuls of wine with gusto. At the center of the lake sat several islands, and on those islands were massive tables lined with food. Quite a feast, indeed, with something for everyone. “Hmm…” pondered Pinkie as she slowly dipped a hoof in the wine, checking to see if they could swim through it. Deciding that merely touching and sniffing it wasn’t enough, the pink pony joined the other lost souls in drinking the wine, dipping her entire head in the lake and letting the liquid go into her mouth in large pools. As Pinkie swallowed, a new feeling entered her mind...one of drunkenness. Given her size, this wasn’t too surprising. Blackhawk looked at Kras’hir, an alarmed look on his face.

 

The Daemoness, in spite of her link to Khorne, was still sorely tempted by the feast at the center of the lake. She could see meat, and ale, and mead...her mouth watered. She hadn't had a good feast in ages.

 

Lettuce, wanting to see what the big deal was about the wine, dipped his flipper in and licked it. Just like Pinkie, he began drinking fervently headfirst instantly. Ebony, meanwhile, could see her favorite candies, or sweets, as they were termed at Hogwarts, in the distance. Deciding to just straight-up swim, she removed her clothes, revealing her firm body and womanly bosom. Performing a dive into the wine lake, the now wet Ebony gave off an alluring smell, one which sorely began tempting Blackhawk...

 

Kras’hir drew her blade, stabbing it into her own foot. The pain broke the trance. She looked at Usagi, who appeared unaffected. “Go after your naked friend. If she starts feasting, she is lost.”

 

“Right.” said Usagi, and not even bothering to disrobe, dove into the lake after Ebony. Toby, Naruto, and Blackhawk were the only Rangers unaffected by the temptations offered by the Palace...at least, for a bit. The latter tried controlling himself, but could no longer resist, diving into the lake after Usagi and Ebony.

 

Toby looked at Kras’hir, panicking. “What do we do?!”

 

She, without a word, strode into the lake, the liquid reaching her chest. She grabbed Blackhawk, threw him over her shoulder, and walked back to the shore.

 

Blackhawk sputtered, coughing up some wine. “N-no...Ebony…” He was shaking fervently, his feathers still wet.

 

Kras’hir could see Usagi returning, dragging Ebony behind her. She couldn't help but note the way her clothes clung to her skin, showing off her...the Daemoness cut off that thought. It would come back to haunt her later. She didn't even notice herself staring.

 

Usagi flung Ebony onto the ground, the witch’s skin glossy from how wet she was. Usagi panted, out of breath. “I hope..that was worth it.” Ebony took in mouthfuls of sweet-tasting air, licking drops of wine from her lips.

 

“I need to go back…” Ebony insisted. “Chocolate Frogs...Every Flavor Beans...ALL MINE!” Usagi slapped her in response. “...Sorry.”

 

Kras’hir was still staring at Usagi, despite her best efforts to avert her gaze. She couldn't help it. Urges she had never felt were awake now, and it left her confused and...aroused.

 

“Now that we’ve got Blackhawk and Ebony back, how do we get these two,” Toby said, pointing to Pinkie and Lettuce. “out of their drunken stupor?”

 

“I would say pull them away.” Naruto suggested. “But given how intoxicated they must be…”

 

Kras’hir pulled them back, threw them over her shoulders, and walked away from the lake. They needed to leave this Circle behind.

 

Lettuce and Pinkie were both too intoxicated to give a damn, but they still felt...empty without that precious, refreshing wine.

“Now that’s out of the way.” said Blackhawk. “Let’s go.”

 

Ebony got up, slowly.

 

“Oh, and Ebony?” Blackhawk asked.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Put your clothes back on.”

 

Soon, they came to the third Circle. It showed them all visions, things they desired, dark, depraved things that they wouldn't dare share with anyone else, woven from their dreams. Kras’hir saw herself and Usagi doing...dirty, depraved, erotic things that she didn't even think were physically possible. Blackhawk saw himself and Ebony in...compromising, dominating positions. Lettuce and Pinkie...Toby and...Usagi?! As for Ebony...the voices taunted her. “N-no..I’m saving myself for marriage! I’M A VIRGIN! YOU HEAR?! A VIRGIN!” This aroused, pun intended, suspicion in Blackhawk. Was Ebony not telling him something? Something...important?

 

Kras’hir grew very, very...well, wet, her thighs becoming slick and moist. She hoped the others, especially Usagi, didn't notice. No one did, all of them too caught up in their carnal fantasies not to notice...except for Ebony, who was still arguing and screaming.

 

Kras’hir swatted them all, hard, on the back of the head. She was more gentle with Usagi, and cursed herself for it.

 

“Hm...huh?” Toby asked. “The hell?! I thought you were supposed to be our guide!”

 

Kras’hir said, “All of you, get yourselves together. We need to go, right now.”

 

She could see figures approaching: Daemonettes, coming to ensnare and trap them all with seduction and pain. She could see the Rangers still hesitating. “NOW! MOVE!”

 

Blackhawk, knowing who exactly she was referring to, ran like the wind. Naruto, Toby, Usagi, and Pinkie followed. Ebony still hadn’t moved, on the verge of tears and muttering to herself angrily.

 

Kras’hir grabbed her and Lettuce, sprinting away from the Daemonettes. “Phew! You got us out of there quickly.” Lettuce said, then noticed Ebony in her current emotional state. “Ebony, what’s wrong?”

 

“N-nothing.” the normally happy goth choked out. Yeah, something had happened to cause this, but what…?

 

Kras’hir, embarrassingly enough, was still quite wet. She prayed they couldn't feel it as she ran, heading towards the fourth Circle. This one tempted souls with glory. Cheering crowds met the Rangers, and musicians sang of their deeds. At the front of the crowd was Omnus. He was smiling.

 

“Rangers! You did it! I am so proud of you all. Diabolica won't be a threat to anyone any longer, and it's all thanks to you!” Naruto, being the leader, approached Omnus slowly, grinning.

 

“Thank you Omnus.” said Naruto, his grin growing wider. Seeing Naruto this unnaturally happy was not pleasing, especially since he was faking it. “You were the greatest mentor ever!” WHAM! Naruto’s fist connected with the fake Omnus’ cheek, sending the Daemon to the ground.

 

Instantly, the illusion shattered. The cheering crowds were replaced by mounds of soot and scattered bones. The Daemon was gone. The joy felt by everyone instantly turned to horror. Naruto’s personal temptation would come later, it seemed. Kras’hir said, “I don't know about you all, but I saw Lord Khorne making me a Bloodthirster. A rare honor for Daemons of His.”

 

“Slaanesh tried tempting us with glory. They forgot one thing: we aren’t heroes for the sake of it. We do it because we fight for what’s right.”

 

“Noble. Foolish, insane, and naive, but noble.” The Daemoness said.

 

“You might think so,” said Pinkie. “But to us, you’re crazy for fighting just to fight.”

 

The Daemoness was genuinely puzzled. “You mean you need a reason to fight? You've never started a brawl just for the sake of it?”

 

“Of course not! I’m from a land where friendship and harmony rule. Granted, it isn’t all peaches and cream, but it’s still nice.”

 

“None of you enjoy combat? None of you get a thrill from crushing an enemy? You mean to say that combat is a means to an end, and nothing more?” Kras’hir questioned.

 

“Of course!” Lettuce piped in. “I’m from a cold little island in the South Pole where we do nothing but work, play, or even both at the same time! It’s paradise!”

 

Kras’hir turned to Usagi. “What about you, pretty one?”

 

Then she realized what she had said, closing her eyes. “Fuck.”

 

Usagi blushed. “You think I’m pretty?”

 

“I spent ten minutes staring at you when your clothes were soaking wet, and I just had visions of us doing dirty, erotic things together. Does that answer your question?”

 

“...Oh, um...well, back home…” Usagi said. “Not Core Earth, but my old home in Tokyo, I have a boyfriend. His name’s Mamoru.”

 

Another new emotion, Kras'hir  noted: Jealousy. She cursed herself once again. This place was getting to her...badly. She stabbed herself in the foot again, twisting the blade. Once again, the pain helped snap her out of it.

 

“Though, if it helps you feel better, you’re pretty hot yourself.” Usagi said, much to the surprise of the others. “What? So I’m bi, big deal.”

 

“It’s not that.” said Lettuce. “We’re just surprised you didn’t tell us until now, of all times.”

 

The Daemoness sighed, said, “Fuck it. I only live once.” and bent down to Usagi, before gently kissing her. Usagi blushed, but kissed back just as gently.

 

“...Wow.” stated Naruto. “Never would I have thought I’d see a human girl and female demon kissing.”

 

Kras’hir pulled Usagi to her, as gentle as could be. She pulled back for a moment, purring, “You have a wonderful scent…”

 

Usagi blushed deeper. “Thank you. You smell like...blood and guts.”

 

It was a flimsy compliment, but Kras’hir thanked her for it nonetheless. She kissed Usagi’s cheek, before standing again, still holding her close. She looked at the others, and noticed how they were all staring.

 

“...It is a bit unusual, isn't it?”

 

“Lady, we have two teammates in an interspecies relationship.” Lettuce said. “Nothing’s surprising.”

 

“Oh, just like how you and Pinkie have an on-again-off-again romance?” Toby teased.

 

“Shut up.”

 

Kras’hir turned to Naruto. “I have a request. If you would have me...I would like to stay with the seven of you after you leave the Warp. You face worthy foes, and I would be honored to stand at your backs, so all the enemies in the galaxy may never overtake us.”

 

“I don’t see why not. Usagi sure likes you, and you’ve been nothing but a big help to us.”

 

Blackhawk on the other hand wasn’t so sure. She was an agent of Chaos, and therefore unpredictable in his eyes.

 

Kras’hir said to him, “I am a Daemon of Khorne. If I wanted to kill you, I wouldn't stab you in the back. I would do it on the field of battle. And, honestly…”

 

She nuzzled Usagi. “...I've got one very good reason not to betray you.”

 

“Why’s that?” Usagi asked.

 

“Because you're too beautiful and sexy to kill.” The Daemoness purred in her ear. This caused Usagi to blush.

 

“It’s like a manga come true…” she sighed.

 

“Still a better love story than Twilight.” Pinkie said, briefly looking at the fourth wall for a moment.

 

They moved on to the next Circle. They were in what appeared to be a forest. Clusters of trees surrounded glades,  which each contained a clear pool of water that invites the traveller to sit and reflect upon his thoughts. As he stares into the pool, he recalls his accomplishments and dwells on what more he could achieve. Sitting there lost in thought, the undergrowth of the glade begins to creep in on him. Thorny branches reach toward him. Strangling vines descend from the trees and gently coil around his neck. As he closes his eyes and imagines himself striking down legendary foes, conquering galaxy-spanning civilisations, or negotiating great deals, the waters of the pool rise up and take the shape of whatever represents defeat for the dreamer. Sensing something is amiss, the ensnared visitor opens his eyes and is confronted by a vision of shame and defeat just before the branches and vines rip at his flesh and choke the air from his lungs. The sound of his final scream, stifled by a lack of air, is a delight to the Prince of Pain.

 

Of course, none of them save the Daemoness and Blackhawk knew this, so they were drawn in by how peaceful the place was. “Isn’t this beautiful?” Pinkie whispered. “My friend Fluttershy would love it here!”

 

“Yeah, if she enjoys being killed by the nature she loves.” Blackhawk said.

 

Still, the water was clear and calm, the wind whistled sweetly through the trees, and the grass looked so comfortable to sit on...and wasn't there much to reflect on? They had done so much, after all, and there was still much more they could do. What harm could a little bit of meditation by the water do?

 

Naruto decided that it couldn’t, and sat by a pool to meditate...that was, until Blackhawk pulled him away, and his struggles quickly turned into a rough-and-tumble between them.

 

A voice called to Pinkie, a voice that she knew well. “Pinkie? Can you come help me?”

 

It was Fluttershy. “I got caught in a thorn bush. I'm scared...Please...help me.”

 

The sound of her crying softly echoed through the glades.

 

Pinkie was sorely tempted, but resisted, knowing this was the Palace trying to trick her. “...No! You’re not Fluttershy! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”

 

Then, Fluttershy, or at least, the Palace version of her, stepped into the light, crying. She was then grabbed by something, and dragged off. Real or not, hearing her scream as she was torn apart, slowly, by something not visible was horrific. Pinkie’s eyes widened, and she had to literally fight with herself so that she couldn’t fall for the illusion.

 

Kras’hir was unaffected by this Circle, and kept Usagi close to her chest, holding her proactively. The girl held on tightly, looking at the Daemon. Kras’hir smiled at her, before kissing her on the lips. “I am not going anywhere. Don't worry.”

 

“I know you won’t...but I’m still scared…”

 

The Daemoness softly hummed to her, watching the others to make sure they were still in sight. They were...except for Ebony, who was going to meditaaaa-fuck!

 

Kras’hir didn't trust the others not to be tempted, so she went to get Ebony herself, dragging her away just as the vines began to descend. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Ebony screamed.

 

The Daemoness merely angled Ebony’s head upwards, so she could see the vines descending.

 

“...You should have left me there. That way, I’d stop being guilty…”

 

Kras’hir merely sighed, continuing to drag her away. The sixth Circle soon appeared. Kras’hir had heard of this one many times. Upon emerging from the delightful torments of the previous five domains, anyone who could resist the seduction placed before them at this point would surely become legend. Awaiting the beleaguered traveller, say the whispers of those depraved wretches languishing in perfumed palaces and pleasure dens, is a vision of sublime peace. All struggle is surely a thing of the past. All torment a distant memory. Here is a beach of softest sand, warmed by the rays of a golden sun. Gentle breezes push scattered clouds through a perfect azure sky. Music is carried on those same breezes, soothing the spirit. The ground itself rises up and caresses the body of the weary wanderer. Cherubs begin to remove armour plates and burdensome belongings. Coalescing from the salted mists of the waves that break upon the shore, figures with placid features and soothing hands approach and rub tired muscles. The memories of an arduous journey fade into nothingness. Peace is the wanderer’s at last. Indeed, Kras’hir felt her muscles, always tense and ready for war, relax. What need was there for combat here? She let the hands, so very gentle, remove her armor and massage her flesh. Usagi blushed at seeing her nude, covering her eyes.

 

The Daemoness exhaled, closing her eyes. She could stay here forever. She and Usagi could build a home, and live by the sea, falling asleep to the sound of the ocean. She smiled. She was a fool in love, and could deny it no longer...No...she might’ve been in love, but she was no fool, her conscience told her. Slaanesh, her enemy, was attempting to tempt her.

 

She could see the others receiving similar attention from the figures from the sea. She stood tall. She was not a pawn of Slaanesh.

 

With that thought, she bellowed, “ENOUGH!”

 

The peace shattered. The figures from the sea shrieked, fleeing to the water. The illusion of tranquility was gone. With that she gathered her armor. She could see the others glaring at her. That was how tempting that place was, she noted. Even those who knew it was a trap still wished to stay. The Rangers got up and followed her, intent on getting to their current goal of seeing Slaanesh.

 

The Palace itself was paradise unlike anything they'd ever seen. Statues of angels and heavenly figures adorned the vast garden they had entered. Flowers of all varieties grew, their colors a rainbow. An unseen choir sang a peaceful, soothing song. “Do not be distracted.” ordered Blackhawk. “We mustn't let Them tempt us one final time.”

 

The doors to the Palace opened, and Slaanesh, She Who Thirsts, the Prince of Pleasure and Pain, stepped outside. The God turned to them...and smiled. Immediately, all thought of fighting Her (as the Daemoness saw a woman, or, more specifically, Usagi) left Kras’hir’s mind, and she bowed. Toby saw Usagi (as he still felt for her), Lettuce saw a more voluptuous Pinkie, Blackhawk saw Ebony, Naruto saw his girlfriend Hinata, Pinkie saw Lettuce, Usagi saw Mamoru (and, strangely enough, Kras’hir, as Slaanesh kept switching forms), and Ebony saw...Draco Malfoy, causing her to break down once more.

 

Slaanesh wiped away her tears. “Relax, child. Be at peace. There is no sadness here. Only pleasure and enjoyment. Come, come! There is wine and food for you all!”

 

The Master and Mistress of the Palace led them to a table lined with food and wine, as promised. They all sat, Ebony getting major Rocky Horror vibes from the food, the Palace, and especially Slaanesh.

 

Slaanesh clapped Their hands. “Tell me, as I am most curious: Who do you all see when you look at Me?”

 

Kras’hir, hesitantly, pointed at Usagi. Usagi said, “My boyfriend...and Kras’hir.”

 

“Lettuce!”

 

“Pinkie!”

 

“My girlfriend Hinata.”

 

“Ebony.”

 

“...Draco Malfoy.”

 

Slaanesh sipped Their wine, smirking. Ah, a lover’s quarrel! Those were never dull. Ebony just stared at Blackhawk. What did he think…?

 

Slaanesh ‘helpfully’ voiced Blackhawk’s thoughts, “He thinks you're a skanky whore.”

 

“Is that true…?” Ebony asked, tears welling in her eyes once more.

 

The Dark God cut off his response, saying gleefully, pointing at Toby, then Usagi, “He wants to fuck you, but won't admit it.”

 

They then pointed at Usagi again, then Kras’hir, “She wants to fuck you, but won't admit it.”

 

They pointed at Lettuce. “And he's sterile.”

 

“Hey!” Lettuce replied.

 

“Don’t listen to Them.” Blackhawk said. “They’re trying to destroy our friendships.”

 

Slaanesh frowned, a dangerous edge entering Their voice, “If I am lying, then why is your friend Usagi getting very wet right now, hmm?”

 

They leaned toward her. “Tell Me, child: Who do you see now?”

 

“K-kras’hir…”

 

Slaanesh smirked. “You want her to do naughty things to you, don't you?’

 

Their words were like honey, and Their tongue was silver; There seemed to be no point in lying.

 

“Y-yes…”

 

“Like…?”

 

Kras’hir slammed the end of a knife into the table. The Dark Prince regarded her coolly.

 

“Very well. I am sure I will see it soon enough anyway. You came here seeking an army, yes?”

 

Naruto nodded. “We’re seeking to ally ourselves with all four of the Chaos Gods so that we may defeat Emperor Diabolica.”

 

Slaanesh nodded. “Then, Blood Ranger, an army you shall have.”

 

Naruto’s eye twitched, and he whispered, “Don’t call me that.”

 

Slaanesh merely smirked. “Do any of you know how I was born?”

 

“From the Fall of the Eldar.” Blackhawk answered.

 

“Who are the Eldar?” Toby asked.

 

“A species of elf-like aliens.” Blackhawk answered. “That’s putting it simply.”

 

Slaanesh sipped wine. “The Eldar were a proud, militaristic people. They had an empire that would make Diabolica choke with envy, and technology that makes your Ranger weapons look like primitive clubs. However, they eventually ran out of enemies to conquer, and began to sink into complacency...and depravity. They did things in the name of pleasure that would destroy your ability to sleep. They were warned by the Farseers that they were heading down a path of no return, but the Eldar didn't listen. Eventually, the Farseers left the Empire, along with any Eldar who would follow them. They were the only Eldar who survived My birth, for not long after, the depravity of the Empire reached it’s peak, and I began to gestate in the Warp. My conception and birthing cries killed trillions of Eldar instantly, and tore open a hole in space, a link to the Warp that has never healed: The Eye of Terror.”

 

The Rangers had listened intently to Slaanesh’s...theatric storytelling, and by the end, were silent. No one spoke for a long time, until Usagi asked, “Why did you tell us this?”

 

Slaanesh said simply, “I enjoy telling it. Of course, the Eldar themselves were not the only ones who died when I was born. I killed their gods, too.”

 

“Their gods?” Naruto asked. “That just isn’t possible…”

 

The Prince of Pleasure merely stared at him. It was almost as if Naruto had forgotten the forces he was dealing with. The laws of reality simply didn't matter.

 

After a moment, They continued, “It was...well, like a dance. There is no battle quite like gods clashing. It didn't take long for Me to kill all of them. Well...almost all of them. Khaine, their God of War, was shattered into a thousand pieces, pieces which are still living. Cargorach, the Laughing God, fled into what the Eldar called the Webway. And Isha, their Healing Goddess…”

 

The Dark God went silent, Their lips curling into a snarl.

 

“What happened to Isha?” Toby asked.

 

“The Lord of Plague stole her from Me…”

 

“Judging by how You treated the other Eldar gods, that’s a much better fate…” Blackhawk muttered under his breath.

 

Slaanesh heard him. In an instant, Their right hand was around his throat, before he was hauled into the air.

 

“Maybe, but the fate of the Eldar gods is mercy compared to what I can do to you.”

 

“HEY! LET OUR FRIEND GO!” Lettuce shouted. “YOU MESS WITH HIM, YOU’RE GONNA GET IT FROM US! I DON’T CARE IF YOU'RE SOME KIND OF PLEASURE GOD!”

 

Slaanesh, completely unfazed by his threat, but angry all the same, merely uttered a Word, a powerful one, “Fall.” And fall they did, right out of the Palace of Pleasure, and into the Garden of Nurgle...at least, until Slaanesh, in Their anger, pulled the Rangers back. They landed in the Palace's Throne Room. The Prince of Pain lounged on Their throne.

 

“Welcome back, you defiant fools.”

 

“And just when I thought we’d be free.” Lettuce snarked. “You’re gonna keep us in this virtual prison forever, I’m guessing?”

 

“No. But I am not putting an army under your command without expecting something in return.”

 

“Let’s hear it.”

 

“First...Usagi and Kras’hir, step forward.”

 

The Daemoness stepped forward. Usagi did the same.

 

“W-what do you want?” Usagi asked.

 

“I want you two to fuck. I want you to act on the lust and desire you both feel for each other.” Slaanesh said simply.

 

“W-WHAT?!” Usagi shouted, as the Rangers grew more and more disgusted.

 

“You can’t force her to have sex so you can watch.” Blackhawk said. “That’s called rape.”

 

Slaanesh grinned. “Ah, but that's where you're wrong. She wants it. Don't you, Usagi?” She did not answer, still blushing.

 

Kras’hir said, “If you want your army, then we will have no choice.”

 

With that, she shrugged off her armor, setting her blade aside. Usagi hesitantly disrobed, and the Rangers averted their gaze as Usagi...was deflowered, her innocence taken from her.

 

Kras’hir, knowing how horrified and ashamed Usagi was, was as gentle as a lamb, making love to her partner as softly and sweetly as she could manage. When it was over, she held Usagi close, rubbing her hair and whispering gently in her ear, again and again, “I'm here...don't be scared…” Usagi silently cried, humiliated beyond belief.

 

Khorne, sensing His Herald’s rage and hatred for the Prince of Pleasure, granted her His Favor. The Mark of the Blood God burned into her back, and her strength increased tenfold. Kras’hir set Usagi aside, before standing and facing the Throne.

 

She spoke then, in a long-forgotten tongue, “You die today, Pleasure God.”

 

With that, she charged, and Slaanesh, feeling fear for the first time, fled from her. Usagi stared at her, her tears drying up.

 

Soon, Kras’hir returned, threw Slaanesh into a wall, and began strangling Them. The God let out a disturbing mixture of pained gasps and shuddering moans.

 

“...Mon Dieu…” Lettuce whispered.

 

“Awesome…” replied Toby.

 

“Are They actually getting an orgasm from that?!” Naruto asked, shocked yet fascinated.

 

“Yep.” said Blackhawk.

 

Kras’hir eventually relented, letting Slaanesh slump to the floor. Then, she hissed, “Mark my words, Prince of Depravity: The only reason I spare you is because it would upset the Great Game if I ended your life. I will not, however, leave you wholly unmarked. From this day until the end of Chaos, a scar shall mark Thy visage.”

 

With that, she dug her claws into Slaanesh’s face, dragging them downward. Blood, black and purple as Warp energy, sprayed from the wound, as They shrieked in agony.

 

Usagi cried once again, trying to look away from the violence. When it was done, Kras’hir wiped her claws clean. Slaanesh said weakly, “You will have your army, Rangers. Now leave.”

 

“Gladly.” said Naruto, and the seven of them left, Usagi clinging to Kras’hir’s chest.

 

They landed in the Garden of Nurgle. The Garden of Nurgle is no ordinary garden. Perhaps it is not a garden at all, but the mortal minds that contemplate the manifested will of the Lord of Decay must attempt to make some sort of sense out of what they have seen or heard about in whispered tales. They must place it in some sort of relatable context that they can consider without going insane. The same tomes and other forbidden texts that have attempted to describe the Lord of the land Himself have, for the most part, agreed that the idea of Nurgle’s realm being a perverse, deadly, and yet strangely beautiful garden best puts Chaos into terms they can fathom.

Like a normal garden, the domain of Nurgle is home to a bewildering array of flora and fauna, all interconnected and supporting the whole. Beds of bright blue Shovelpetal plants dig themselves up and leave the dirt in which they grew so that Plaguebearers can plant new Skullseeds in the rich loam. As the Skullseeds grow and blossom, they attract bounding, stomping, over-exuberant Chaos Beasts that mistake their fruits for the heads of new playthings. This scatters their matter violently into the air where it comes to rest on the wings of the ubiquitous flies. Slowed by the sticky pulp of the splattered plants, these insects become easy prey for other flying creatures that ingest them as they soar through the rot-choked air. Unbeknownst to the predators, bloatflies are carriers of many of Nurgle’s experimental diseases and other creations. With their innards thus infected, these predators sicken, vomiting the contents of their guts all across the garden as they fly about and eventually exploding in showers of life-giving flesh and blood. This bounty of mutated and mutilated tissue falls into new areas of the Garden beneath, decaying into compost and starting the cycle of life and death anew.

Though the Garden of Nurgle does share certain commonalities with gardens and jungles on planets in realspace, it still is not a worldly garden in any sane sense. A visitor in this bizarre and perilous realm doesn’t walk from this place to that. He experiences what needs to be experienced. Even the daemons that tend the Garden are not really what might be thought of as a workforce that arrives at a place, does a job, and then leaves for other regions. These daemons are a part of the experience of the garden itself. This is especially troublesome for the Plaguebearers, whose metamorphosed minds were once mortal, and still strive to impose a modicum of reality in their unreal existences. Still, even the Plaguebearers accept their place in the Garden and spend their eternity enjoying all it offers in their own way.

The Plaguefather affords all His children many ways to explore and appreciate His realm, and even to become a part of it. Though He is a god of Chaos, He also has a need to create order, to monitor His creations, and to control His experiments. A visitor to Nurgle’s realm would find a dizzying amount of diversity of experiences. Here he might find trees made of nothing but the flesh of Eldar, constantly oozing the tears of a dying race. There he might find fields where tongues sprout up from the earth, each one blistered by the malign influence of a different infection. There is no telling what wonders await around each bend in the paths that stretch and wind throughout the Garden, but any who encounter them will surely have their sanity tested and questioned, should they survive to share the tale.

The Garden of Nurgle is an ever-changing realm, shifting according to the needs and whims of its master. Many areas exist only temporarily, taking shape to allow him to indulge a particular fancy or to be granted to an especially accomplished Great Unclean One as a reward. Even so, the legends hint that some aspects of this foetid domain remain relatively constant. Nurgle has need of fields in which to plant his crops of blighted herbs, pits to hold the bodies upon which he conducts his experiments, and, most important of all, a gigantic and decrepit mansion in which to store his creations, brew his legendary contagions, entertain guests, and plot the course of the Great Corruption.

While the mortal realm is laid waste by blight and pestilence, the lands of Nurgle in the Realm of Chaos thrive on disease and corruption. Tended by the Lord of Decay, this unwholesome realm is home to every pox and affliction imaginable and is foetid with the stench of rot. Twisted, rotten boughs entangled with grasping vines cover the mouldering ground, entwining like broken fingers. Fungi, both plain and spectacular, break through the squelching mulch of the forest floor, puffing out clouds of choking spores. The stems of half-daemonic plants wave of their own accord, unstirred by the insect-choked air. Their colours puncture the gloom; havens of cheeriness in a dismal woodland. Human-featured beetles flit along the banks of sluggish, muddy rivers. Reeds rattle, whispering the names of the poxes inflicted upon the worlds of mortals by Great Nurgle or lamenting those that have died from the caress of their creator.

Jutting from amidst this primordial mire is Nurgle's manse. Decrepit and ancient, yet eternally strong at its foundations, the mansion is an eclectic structure of rotted timbers and broken walls, overgrown with crawling poison ivy and thick mosses. Cracked windows and crumbling stone compete with verdigris-coated bronze, rusted ironwork and lichen-covered cornices to outdo each other with their corrupted charm. Within these tumbling walls, Nurgle toils. Beneath mildewed and sagging beams, the great God works for eternity at a rusted cauldron, a receptacle vast enough to contain all the oceans of all the worlds. Chuckling and murmuring to Himself, Nurgle labours to create contagion and pestilence, the most sublime and unfettered forms of life. With every stir of Nurgle's maggot-ridden ladle, a dozen fresh diseases flourish and are scattered through the stars. From time to time, Nurgle reaches down with a clawed hand to scoop a portion of the ghastly mixture into h

His cavernous mouth, tasting the fruits of his labour. With each passing day, He comes closer to brewing His perfect disease, a spiritual plague that will spread across the extent of the universe and see all living things gathered unto His rotting embrace.

Dwarfed by their mighty Lord, a host of Plaguebearers are gathered about Nurgle. Each chants sonorously, keeping count of the diseases created, the mischievous Nurglings that have hatched, and the souls claimed by the Lord of Decay's putrid blessings. This hum drowns out the creaking of the rotten floor and the scrape of the ladle on the cauldron, so eternal in its monotony that to hear it is to invite madness. When Nurgle's diseases wax strong in the mortal realm, his garden blooms with death's heads and fresh filth, encroaching upon the lands of the other Chaos Gods. War follows, as Nurgle's adversaries fight back and the Plaguebearers take up arms to defend the morbid forest. From such war springs more of the richness of life and death, of triumph over adversity. Though Nurgle's realm will eventually recede again, it will have fed deeply on the fallen, and will lie in gestate peace until it is ready to swell throughout time and space once more.


There is a house of decay at the centre of Nurgle’s Garden. Its wracked and twisted structure creaks and groans under the influence of baleful toxic winds. Shutters cling just barely to window frames only half filled with broken panes of filth covered glass. Sewage drains spill forth beetles, maggots, and twisted centipedes with only tongues for their bodies and human fingers for legs. Paint continually cracks and peels away from the wood beneath, yet the house never loses it grey-green hue. Along the roof, hundreds of chimneys bellow out dark clouds that, upon close inspection, are composed of millions of floating, buzzing flies.

All around this house, trees made of bone bear fruit that rots even as it swells. The leafless boughs of these ancient trees provide shelter for daemonic birds that sing the funeral dirges of any unwelcome visitor. It is a house of pestilence, rot, and death. This is Nurgle’s Mansion, and that means that it is also a place of hope and renewal. There can be no explanation for the strength that keeps this structure from collapse save that it is the dwelling place of the Lord of All, whose boundless energy, sense of eternal purpose, and limitless joy for his work finds perfect peace with the inevitability of decay.

Nurgle Himself often sits in a massive chair just to the side of the mansion’s front door. From there He entreats visitors, both summoned and unexpected, to approach, share tales and questionable libations, and explore the countless rooms within. Inside the vast structure, a guest could easily become lost. Rotten floorboards send many to a doom of slow consumption by the carrion feeders that dwell in the lower levels. Grand staircases decorated with moth-eaten rugs beckon to wandering souls, leading them to chambers where daemons are glad to receive new, fresh flesh.

Should the guest bypass these rooms and continue upward, he might find his way to the attic, where Nurgle keeps samples of his multitudinous works of decay, catalogued and counted over and over again by attendant Plaguebearers. In this attic are jars containing the viscera of plague victims from across time and space. Souls are trapped within apparently simple glass containers, left to slowly dim and fade as maladies of the spirit waste them to the bone.

If the visitor walked past the stairs and pushed deeper into the mansion, he might stumble upon the kitchens and larders of the Plaguefather’s home. Every foul ingredient, every pestilent component imaginable (and some that defy sanity) rests on shelves here, neatly labelled and ready to be combined in the great cauldron. A wise guest moves on quickly from here, knowing that to linger is to become flavouring for the noxious stew, for this cauldron is among Nurgle’s prized possessions and he likes to keep it full. It is in this great black crucible that the Lord of All brews the many plagues he pours into the mortal realm. Nurgle is a creative being, and he will take inspiration for experimentation where he finds it. Seldom can he resist the temptation to add nearby visitors to his virulent concoctions.


Nurgle is unlike the other Ruinous Powers in many ways, including how He views his domain within the Realm of Chaos. Khorne, for instance, rarely leaves His throne, barking orders to his generals from atop a mound of skulls. Slaanesh watches the happenings of Their kingdom from within Their palace or wanders the universe seeking to tempt mortals into giving up their souls to satisfy Their hunger. Tzeentch seems to not care much at all for the state of His warped and fractured lands, spending His time plotting and interfering with affairs in realms beyond His own. Nurgle, on the other hand, cherishes the beauty and surprises of His Garden. He routinely takes strolls down its twisted paths, cavorting with His daemons and stopping to observe as one of His diseases takes its toll on a wounded captive. Nurgle is in touch with His land and its many regions.

In his wanderings outside of the Mansion, he passes by some of his favourite places, many of which have existed since Nurgle first thought of them and are likely to be the models for the reborn universe that is to come. A moment’s journey from the Mansion are the Death Beds, a place he visits more often than perhaps any other. It is a place that serves two purposes. Not only are wayward travellers and defeated invaders trapped here, stored in the deep pits and sucking muck of this place awaiting some future foul use, or their eventual demise, but it is here that Nurgle can indulge in one of his greatest forms of entertainment. The Plaguefather loves to hear stories of the realms beyond his own. They inspire him to create new pestilences that are well suited to other lands, and in the Death Beds he has countless potential storytellers. Sometimes he offers these unfortunates the chance to improve their position by spitting the worms from their mouths and sharing tales of their worlds with him. Those who amuse him sufficiently are plucked from the muck and removed to the Mansion. There they have the great honour of becoming vessels for Nurgle’s newest plagues. Once they are properly infected, Grandfather Nurgle smiles, gives them one last tender, gut-churning embrace, and sends them back into the lands their stories described.

After visiting the Death Beds, Nurgle often makes the Poxyards the next stop on His stroll. It is here that He tests the efficacy of His contagions of the flesh and spirit. Each malady requires a different set of trials to gauge its ability to achieve the Plaguefather’s desires. This means that the physical form of the Poxyards changes to suit the task. For a test of the spirit, this region of the Garden may be filled with crystal clear lakes. A dehydrated test subject may see these lakes and, believing salvation is at hand, drink deeply of the cool waters. Suddenly the water will turn to pus, tormenting the sick and weakened soul. For a test of a skin-eating disease, the Poxyards may be filled with Clawthrust Brambles. Infected captives can be sent running into the daemon-plants, chased by Chaos Beasts. If the captives scream as they pass through the razor-edged branches of the plants, then Nurgle knows that the poor wretches can still feel pain and His affliction needs refinement. No matter the incarnation of the Poxyards, this corner of the Garden always gives Nurgle new insights, and therefore He spends a great deal of time there.

There are other places such as these—places that are always buzzing with activity and joy. The Morabusium where the most precious and toxic herbs take root, the Dunglash Arboretum where refined excrement hangs from trees like putrid, reeking vines, and many others. All of these regions provide Nurgle with the ingredients and insights he needs to further his work at the cauldron when he returns to the Mansion after one of his invigorating jaunts.


In addition to the mainstay regions of the Garden, there are many others that enjoy a less permanent existence, coming and going with the ascendancy and passing of one of Nurgle’s many plagues. Some of these likely only exist in the nightmare visions and untrustworthy hallucinations of disease-ravaged minds. Still, the Garden is near-infinite, and it is not so unbelievable that a recipient of one of Nurgle’s great gifts might be blessed with a fleeting glimpse of the Plaguefather’s realm. With their last dying breaths, some mortals gasp and choke out words saying that they hear faint bells tolling. Perhaps they refer to the blossoms that grow in the Deathbell Lily Fields. When a mortal dies as the result of one of Nurgle’s many diseases, one of these pallid flowers opens up and emits a tinny chime to mark the success of Nurgle’s handiwork. The ringing is incessant.

The Hanging Gardens of Thush’Bolg are a sight to be seen. This remote slice of Nurgle’s realm was given to the Great Unclean One Thush’Bolg as acknowledgement of his use of a choking plague to wipe out an Ork infestation on Hurax, a planet that Nurgle coveted. To commemorate his victory and to demonstrate constant thanks to his lord for his reward, Thush’Bolg used their own intestines to hang every single Ork from the colony in the trees of his domain. There they dangle and rot, slowly dying but never quite finding release.

Plaguebearers toss organs from the bodies of disease victims into sorting pools, making it easier for them to count the numbers that have died from each ailment. Beasts of Nurgle frolic in fields where planted spines yield crops of dementia-inducing foodstuffs. Nurglings cackle with glee as they roll down hillsides that form spontaneously when Great Unclean Ones vomit up regiments they consumed thousands of standard years ago. The Garden of Nurgle is a wondrous place filled with vitality, mirth, and experiences beyond mortal comprehension. It is a playground for the minions of the Lord of Decay, a laboratory for His work, and a comforting home for a god that knows his realm is the shape of things to come.


The Eldar believe that when Slaanesh, the Lord of Pleasure, awoke, their gods were destroyed outright. Yet there is one myth upon a single Craftworld that tells of how the Maiden Goddess Isha was not slain by the Dark Prince and absorbed by Slaanesh like the rest of the Eldar Pantheon after his birth during the Fall of the Eldar. Slaanesh vanquished her as He had all of the other Eldar Gods within the Warp, but only took her prisoner rather than absorbing her energies outright. What foul purpose Slaanesh had in keeping Isha alive, none amongst the Eldar now know, but the Prince of Pleasure was ultimately denied his spoils: for some reason Nurgle, the Plague Lord, waged war against Slaanesh to "rescue" the Eldar Goddess. Why Grandfather Nurgle intervened is unclear, although some Eldar savants believe that the oldest of the major Chaos Gods wanted to give the youngest amongst them a good lesson about his proper place in the order of things. What is known is that Nurgle's daemonic forces proved victorious and he took the Eldar Goddess back to his domain in the Realm of Chaos. A goddess of rejuvenation and a god of decay seemed an odd pairing, but Nurgle came to adore his new companion like no other being in the universe.

Yet the adoration of a Chaos God is a strange thing, for Nurgle shows His affection in cruel ways. Nurgle keeps Isha imprisoned in a rusted cage in the corner of His cauldron chamber within his personal manse. It is there that he keeps the cauldron where He mixes the elements that create all of His plagues and pestilences. When the Plague God creates a particularly pleasing brew, he forces Isha to imbibe the putrid mixture, watching with building excitement for the symptoms of his latest contagion. Though as the Goddess of Healing, Isha can cure herself of the disease's ravages, the speed with which she is free from its grip allows the Plaguelord to evaluate his creation's virulence. If Nurgle is pleased, he returns to his cauldron and empties its contents into a bottomless drain, the noxious liquid falling as rain upon one of the mortal worlds. If the concoction does not meet with Nurgle's approval, he gulps down the contents of the cauldron, vomits it back into the pot and starts afresh. While the Plaguefather is busy at his cauldron, Isha accepts her lot stoically, and fights back against the Plague God's evil in the same way she once fought against Khaine, whispering the cures to these new diseases into the universe so that mortals might know them and resist the hideous designs of Grandfather Nurgle.


Very few mortal eyes have beheld the Garden of Nurgle. Its swamplands constantly wheeze a fog of supernatural diseases, and living beings cannot endure so much as a single breath of its repugnance. Only Nurgle himself can spare visitors from his garden's toxic affections; when he is expecting company, he will open a path through the gurgling fungus-fronds with a single magnanimous gesture. Trespassers are viewed poorly in Nurgle's domain, as the Seers of Lugganath found to their cost. The Eldar of that far-flung Craftworld have long told the story of the Caged Maiden, wherein Isha, the goddess of fertility and healing, is imprisoned in Nurgle's mansion at the mercy of her grotesque admirer. The Eldar believe their legends to be absolute truth and even aspire to one day free their goddess from Nurgle's unctuous grasp. So it was that when Craftworld Lugganath was ravaged by the Brittle Coma, an army of its most gifted psykers cast their minds into the realm of Nurgle in pursuit of the truth of the myth of Isha's captivity, hoping to find their lost goddess and put a halt to their Craftworld's deadly malaise with her freedom. They knew that they would almost certainly die in the attempt, but believed that their souls would ultimately be drawn back into the glittering Spirit Stones of their comatose bodies. Once safe in their crystal afterlife, they could impart Isha's message to the Spiritseers and lift Nurgle's curse from their homes.

At first, their astrally-projected forms appeared to be able to pass through the grasping foliage of Nurgle's garden with ease. Their Ghosthelms kept them as insubstantial as spirits and their rune-shielded minds cut through the dismal vegetation, for they were sharper than any corporeal blade. The Rot Flies of that realm buzzed loud in alarm, however, and whispered of the intruders into Nurgle's ear. Just as the Seers of Lugganath sighted Grandfather Nurgle's manse in the distance, a great host of Plaguebearers rose up from the mud and began to chant in a droning monotone as they came forward. The Seers chanelled their psychic energy into great blasts of cleansing blue fire, boiling away huge chunks of Nurgle's army and darting out of the clumsy reach of their foes, but ever more Plaguebearers emerged from the slurry to block their path.

The battle raged for solar days, and swathes of Nurgle's Garden were blasted to ruin in the process. However, in the material dimension, the physical form of the trespassing Seers began to convulse and shake, succumbing to the very plague they hoped to overcome. Slowly, as their bodies shrivelled and their Spirit Stones turned to rotting mulch, the souls of the Seers that were trapped in Nurgle's realm began to pass fully into the Immaterium. The soupy air of the garden seeped into their lungs, worm-riddled mud spattered up their legs, and white-bodied daemonflies clambered into their mouths. Claimed at last, the Seers' feet took root as their faces hardened into bark. Their arms split and twisted into gnarled branches, each finger hung with ripening Nurgling-fruit. The Seers of Lugganath remain there still, a copse of wailing trees that brighten Nurgle's leisurely walks and strike a note of despair into the heart of Isha, His immortal captive. Such is the fate of those who enter uninvited into the heartlands of Nurgle, for even the generosity of the Grandfather of Plagues has its limit.

 

The Rangers, upon stepping foot in the Garden, were greeted with some of the foulest smells imaginable, to the point of uncontrolled vomiting. Blackhawk, between coughing up chunks of food he’d eaten the week before, muttered, “Not even Bash Buzzard would enjoy it here, and he eats rotten meat on a daily basis!”

 

“Bash Buzzard is one of our friends back on Core Earth.” Lettuce clarified to Kras’hir.

 

“...Friend?” She asked, saying the word as if it were in another language.

 

“You mean you don’t have any friends, not even fellow warriors?” Lettuce asked.

 

“Oh, I and my fellow warriors can get along cordially enough, but with the understanding that we'll likely try to tear out the other’s guts not long after.”

 

“We’re the same way, minus the ‘wanting to tear out our innards’ bit. A big part of being Power Rangers, to us, is working together to take down our foes.”

 

She nodded, snorting. Before she could say anything more, a voice echoed.

 

"Buboes, phlegm, blood and guts! Boils, bogeys, rot and pus! Blisters, fevers, weeping sores! From your wounds the fester pours."

 

“BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!” came the response from Toby. Blackhawk proceeded to deck him in response, giving a ‘shut up’ gesture.

 

The voice crooned, punctuated by wet gagging, “Nurgle loves me, this I know...for His Bearers tell me so. All living to Him belong….for we are children and He is God.”

 

“...Sounds like some messed up church hymn.” Toby said.

 

Kras’hir, surprisingly, recited, “Jesus loves me, this I know...for the Bible tells me so. Little children to Him belong, for we are weak and He is strong.”

 

“I knew that sounded familiar.” said Usagi.

 

“We have a similar hymn back where I’m from.” said Toby. “Arceus loves me, this I know, for the Sinnoh book tells me so. Little trainers to Him belong, for we are young and He’s a god.”

 

Kras’hir said, “That ‘god’ is one of the Fate Weaver’s many guises. Your religion is built on the word of a liar.”

 

“B-but Arceus is the father of all Pokemon…” Toby said. “Just as Dialgia and Palkia control time and space in my religion.”

 

“Toby…”

 

“...What?”

 

“There are no gods aside from those of Chaos and the Eldar. Every major religion established on any world in the last four-hundred thousand years is a FUCKING SHAM!”

 

“So,” said Usagi. “Shinto, Buddhism, Christianity…”

 

“No. Shinto and Buddhism are...different. The Buddha did, indeed, exist. However...well...how would you take it if I told you he was an incarnation of the Laughing God of the Eldar?”

 

“That wouldn’t surprise me.”

 

“What about Princesses Celestia and Luna?” Pinkie asked. “They exist and some worship them as Goddesses.”

 

“Celestia is a reincarnation of...the Corpse-God. The Anathema, as He is named in the Warp. He ruled Core Earth and the worlds around it eons ago, before the Heresy occurred, and His most favored son betrayed Him, leaving the Anathema crippled.”

 

“So the Annunaki that lived on Core Earth 20,000 years before it was settled by the Multiverse Federation...weren’t highly advanced reptilians who destroyed themselves, or rather, the Chaos Gods destroyed them, after all?” Naruto asked.

 

“Nope. Who told you that?”

 

“Omnus.” Naruto said.

 

“He was not lying, as he did not know the truth himself...We have tarried long enough. Let's get moving.”

 

Kras’hir started to walk, still holding Usagi protectively against her chest. She had donned her armor and retrieved her sword before they departed from the Palace. The Rangers kept walking, still trying to resist vomiting.

 

They eventually, after passing through many groves of twisted, rotting plants, reached the Mansion where Nurgle dwelled. The Lord of Plagues could be heard humming to Himself inside.

 

“This reminds me of a horror film or something.” Lettuce said. “Like...the ones where a mad scientist is cooking up some new experiment.”

 

“That’s the Lord of Plagues in a nutshell.” Blackhawk said. “Like...say, Dr. Frankenstein, only far more sociable yet still insane.”

 

Kras’hir muttered a poem, surprising them all yet again.

 

“A reservoir of darkness, black

As witches' cauldrons are, when fill'd

With moon-drugs in th' eclipse distill'd.

Leaning to look if foot might pass

Down thro' that chasm, I saw, beneath,

As far as vision could explore,

The jetty sides as smooth as glass,

Looking as if just varnish'd o'er

With that dark pitch the Seat of Death

Throws out upon its slimy shore.”

 

“Write that yourself?” Naruto asked.

 

“No. I...collect books. I like a lot of human poetry. That one was by a man named Thomas Moore.” She replied, a bit embarrassed.

 

“You remind me of my friend Twilight.” Pinkie said. “She loves books.”

 

Kras’hir said seriously, “Any of you tell anyone else I collect books, I'll rip your arms off.”

 

“Understood.” they all said.  Ebony still looked down, almost as if she were traumatized.

 

Kras’hir opened the door, and they entered the Mansion. Immediately, a swarm of flies flew at them, buzzing at a deafening volume. Usagi shrieked, as did Ebony and Pinkie.

 

Kras’hir merely exhaled, and the flies burst into flames, falling to the floor.

 

“...Impressive.” said Blackhawk.

 

There were stairs nearby. Kras’hir descended, but not before kissing Usagi for a few seconds. The girl blushed again, telling herself that she was, indeed, falling in love with a Khornate Daemon.

 

The Daemoness merely grinned, before walking down the stairs. When they reached the bottom, they were met with a horrific sight: The Plague Lord Himself. He stood around a head taller than Kras’hir, with deathly green skin, grey eyes, and yellow, filthy teeth. His body was covered in weeping boils and rotten sores, and maggots squirmed in open, festering wounds. All the Rangers, aside from Usagi and Ebony, screamed in pure, unadulterated horror at the sight.

 

Nurgle turned, the end of His stirring spoon in His mouth. He clapped His hands joyfully.

 

“Oh, hello, hello! You must be the Rangers! I am so happy to see all of you for Myself! I must apologize, for I was not expecting you so soon. If I knew you would be here now, I would have prepared a lavish welcome for you!”

 

He sounded so friendly, like a loving grandfather. Although unlike,  say, Slaanesh, Nurgle’s kindness was genuine. “Let’s just skip the pleasantries, Plague God.” said Blackhawk. “You know why we’re here.”

 

“Skip the pleasantries?” Nurgle asked, confused. “Why? You're my guests, and I would be a most terrible host if I wasn't courteous.”

 

He turned to the corner of the room, where a woman was caged. “Isha! Isha! We have guests!”

 

She raised her head, looking at the Rangers. She could see pain in Ebony and Usagi, so she whispered, “Be healed, and let happiness find you again…” Ebony instantly felt better, the trauma of her lies washed away. Usagi felt more calm, and snuggled into Kras’hir’s bosom.

 

“You poor thing…” Pinkie said. “Don’t worry, we’ll help get you out of this spooky place…”

 

Isha merely smiled, and said, “My dear Pinkie, I am exactly where I need to be. Nurgle saved me from a most terrible fate, and though there is often misery, He is not cruel.”

 

“I can feel that...but are you sure you don’t want to escape?”

 

She regarded Nurgle, who was humming to Himself again. “Escape? No, I don't want to escape. As crazy as it sounds, I love Him, and He cares for me.”

 

“Just like how Kras’hir loves Usagi, or how Lettuce loves me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Nurgle walked over, opening the cage and unlocking the chains. The two of them embraced, Nurgle gurgling happily. Lettuce was absolutely squicked out, as were Toby, Naruto, and Blackhawk.

 

“What are you guys so grossed out about? It’s sweet.” said Ebony.

 

“Says you.” said Lettuce. “You enjoy weird stuff.”

 

Then, the two kissed, and even Kras’hir felt sick. Usagi offered her a barf bag out of some sort of hammerspace. Kras’hir refused, choking back bile. She pulled a large bottle of mead out of her armor, taking a long gulp. “Where do you keep that mead?” Usagi wondered.

 

“My own personal pocket of the Warp.” Kras’hir answered. Nurgle and Isha still embraced, before Nurgle vomited, covering the floor near Him in maggots, bile, rotting meat, and...liquid shit.

 

“DIARRHEA, CHA CHA CHA! DIARRHEA, CHA CHA CHA!” squealed a few Plaguebearers from outside.

 

Kras’hir muttered again, almost like a prayer, “A reservoir of darkness, black
As witches' cauldrons are, when fill'd

With moon-drugs in th' eclipse distill'd.

Leaning to look if foot might pass

 

Down thro' that chasm, I saw, beneath,

As far as vision could explore,

The jetty sides as smooth as glass,

 

Looking as if just varnish'd o'er

With that dark pitch the Seat of Death

Throws out upon its slimy shore…”

 

“...Aaaanyway,” said Naruto, and explained why they were there. At the name Emperor Diabolica, everything in the Garden hissed in anger.

 

Nurgle said merrily, “I have a plague ready for him!”

 

“A plague? So you’re going to make him sick?”

 

“No. I'm giving him a gift!”

 

Then, in a tone that scared even Isha, He muttered, “The gift of melting bones and bleeding organs…”

 

“What we need is an army, not a plague.” Naruto repeated.

 

Nurgle shook with rage, a rare act for the one His disciples called “Papa.” The Plague Lord slammed His fist into the cauldron.

 

“I don't care what you need, Blood Ranger. I don't care that you need an army. I only care about the fact that Diabolica had the nerve to harm My beloved when he was here last.”

 

“That was 11,000 or so years ago…” Naruto said.

 

Nurgle exploded. “HE WAS LAST HERE LESS THAN A YEAR AGO, RANGER! HE STRODE IN WHEN I WAS OUT FOR A STROLL, AND VIOLATED ISHA WHEN SHE WAS CHAINED!”

 

Isha put a hand on His shoulder. Nurgle calmed Himself down, exhaling with a rasping gurgle.

 

“I understand your anger.” said Naruto. “But we’re not leaving until we ally ourselves with you. I promise you, however, we will avenge Isha.”

 

Nurgle bent over His cauldron, scooping out a spoonful of liquid. He then whispered a few words, and poured it into a small tear into the Materium. Far, far away, Emperor Diabolica began to scream.

 

Nurgle said softly, “You'll have your army, Rangers, and I will have My plague.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Nurgle turned to Isha. “Can you take them to the guest room and give them a meal before they depart?”

 

She nodded, leading them upstairs. The Rangers followed, and when they entered the guest room, were greeted by one of Nurgle’s ‘children’, a Plaguebearer named Morbus. “MAMA ISHA!” he squealed happily.

 

She giggled, opening her arms. “Come here!” Morbus jumped into his ‘mother’s’ arms, gurgling happily.

 

“This is one of your sons, I assume?” Blackhawk questioned, covering his beak from Morbus’ foul stench.

 

She nodded, rubbing the Plaguebearer’s head. “All of Nurgle’s children are mine, as well.”

 

“And I wanna be just like Papa one day!” the Plaguebearer said, pointing to a cauldron nearby. It wasn’t as big as Nurgle's but the right size for Morbus.

 

“Ah…” Blackhawk said. They’re such a happy family, he thought. Maybe I’ve been looking at Chaos all wrong…

 

Isha, as if reading his mind, said, “The Ruinous Powers don't just embody negative emotions. They embody positive ones, too.”

 

“I know, but...I’ve been here in the Warp before...when I was only a chick.” Granted, it was somehow only for six minutes in realspace time, but it had felt far longer than that.

 

She continued, “For example, are any of you in love?”

 

Kras’hir raised her hand, hesitantly. The Rangers did the same.

 

Isha couldn't help but smile, and it widened when she looked at Kras’hir and Usagi.

 

“You two make a cute couple, you know.”

 

“We do?” asked Usagi.

 

“Yes. Anyway, love comes from Slaanesh. They are drawn to love and passion, as well as perfection in all forms. Many artists and musicians follow the Dark Prince.”

 

“So every time we’ve played music in our band with an overly complicated name…” said Lettuce.

 

“...the Dark Prince has heard it.” Isha finished.

 

“I wonder if Slaanesh likes the Beach Boys.” Blackhawk joked.

 

“One of His favorites!” Morbus responded cheerfully.

 

“...You’re joking.” Blackhawk deadpanned.

 

“No, he isn't.” Isha said. “The Gods are more like mortals than you think. Khorne, for example, swears like a sailor when He is angry. Especially after poker games with the other three. I never thought I would hear anyone called a “flaming, ass-eating thunder-cunt”, but Khorne called Slaanesh that last time they played and He lost.”

 

“They all play poker?” asked Lettuce. “I oughta join the game sometime.”

 

“Tzeentch always cheats, Nurgle doesn't understand the rules, Khorne goes into a blind rage if He loses, and Slaanesh promises dirty, kinky sex to anyone who is interested. Complete with descriptions of the acts They will perform.” Isha said, deadpan.

 

“...Count me in!” Lettuce said.

 

“He’s always looking for something fun.” Pinkie said.

 

“The Gods don't bet money. They bet on many other things: The outcome of battles, who will die when, which civilizations will endure, and many other concepts beyond mortal ability to understand.”

 

“Still, I’d love to see how gods play poker, of all things.” Lettuce said.

 

“Getting back on track, are you aware of Omnus of Eltar?” Naruto asked.

 

“Yes. He is a very old friend of mine. Send him my regards, will you?” She asked.

 

“If he’s an old friend of yours, then why does he fight Chaos, at least from how you see it?”

 

“Because, despite the fact that Chaos is not entirely evil, many acts committed by Daemons are. Which is why he stops them.” Isha answered.

 

“...What about all the other villains the Ranger teams of the past have faced? Are they connected to Chaos like...him?” Naruto asked, avoiding mentioning Diabolica by name.

 

“Yes. All of them. Every last one.” She confirmed, before saying, “Anyway, let me get you and your team some food. We can talk more while you eat.”

 

She led them to a large table, made of wood and lined with comfortable armchairs. They all sat. Isha said, “I will be right back.”

 

She walked off, humming. Kras’hir watched her go. “That woman is an enigma.”

 

“No kidding.” said Blackhawk. “She seems happy, though. Good for her.”

 

She snorted. “As happy as you can be in this shit-hole…”

 

“Hey...she loves my Papa, and He loves her.” said Morbus, who went to go help his Mama.

 

Kras’hir watched him go, before saying, “Misero misere vivit. Attrahit carie non laeduntur.”

 

“Huh?” Usagi asked.

 

“Misery draws in misery. Rot draws in rot.” She translated.

 

“What language was that?” Lettuce asked. “The only ones I know are English, French, and Maori.”

 

“It is Latin.” She answered. “Many Daemons speak it. It makes our threats sound more worthy of note.”

 

“I thought Chaos had its own tongue.” Blackhawk said.

 

“We do, but as Isha said, we are more like you mortals than you think. A lot of Daemons are fluent in several tongues.”

 

“Ah.” Blackhawk said. “...Maybe I was wrong. Chaos isn’t entirely evil.”

 

“Speaking of Chaos,” Naruto said. “When we first fought Diabolica, he used the ‘forces of Chaos’ to make his Bloodbeasts grow. Given Chaos’ nature, what actually happened when he did that?”

 

“The Warp is...odd. While most of it falls under the domain of the Powers, it has a will of it’s own, to an extent. Also? There are more than four Chaos Gods.”

 

“More than four?”

 

“Actually, there are 7,568 beings in the Warp who could be called Gods, if you want to get technical.”

 

“That many? Daaaamn.”

 

“The Four are just the most powerful.” Blackhawk said. “When I first came into the Warp, I actually met a few of these lesser Gods.” He winced. “Some of them...weren’t friendly, like the Renegade Chaos God, Malal.”

 

“Who’s Malal?” Usagi asked.

 

“Don't speak His name!” Kras’hir growled.

 

“Oh, sorry.” said Blackhawk.

 

“I’m guessing He isn’t well liked.” Lettuce said.

 

"...and he that went before now came last, and that which was white and black and all direction was thrown against itself. Grown mightily indignant at the words of the Gods, Malal did turn His heart against them and flee into the chambers of space...And no man looked to Malal then, save those that serve that which they hate, who smile upon their misfortune, and who bear no love save for the damned. At such times as a warrior's heart turns to Malal, all Gods of Chaos grow fearful, and the laughter of the Outcast God fills the tomb of space..."

 

The other Rangers shuddered. “...The only other thing I know is that He has a follower among our enemies.” said Blackhawk. “...Radiguet.”

 

“You mean to tell me…” said Toby slowly. “That Radiguet, the leader of the ancient Vyram Empire and foe of the Power Rangers Jet Fusion, serves a Chaos God that even the Big Four hate?” Blackhawk nodded.

 

Kras’hir said, “There are two things the Powers fear more than anything: The Outcast God, and the Death of the Anathema.”

 

“You said Celestia was the Anathema’s reincarnation.” Pinkie pointed out. “Doesn’t that mean the Anathema’s already dead?”

 

“No. When the Anathema dies, and I mean truly dies...there will be another God born in the Warp. A God of Order.”

 

“...And the Warp will die, in essence.” Blackhawk said.

 

“Chaos demands constant change. That is why the Great Game is unending, and why Lord Khorne has not used The End Of All Things to slay the other three Ruinous Powers.”

 

“...Is the Anathema still on Core Earth, then?” Ebony asked, curious.

 

“That depends. Where the fuck is your homeland, pink one?”

 

“Hey! Don’t talk to Pinkie that way!” Lettuce growled. “...Or we will brawl, you and I.”

 

If he expected her to feel threatened or intimidated, he was wrong. She merely grinned widely.

 

“Great! A good brawl always lifts my spirits.”

 

“Guys...we’re guests in another’s home.” Naruto said. “Let’s not fight.”

 

Lettuce calmed down, but still glared at Kras’hir. She grinned and raised a hand, flashing a crude hand gesture at him. Lettuce didn’t react, as he lacked hands himself. Pinkie coughed awkwardly, then answered, “My home is in Equestria, on the planet Equus, in another universe’s equivalent to the Horsehead Nebula.

 

Silence, then Kras’hir farted.  Loudly. For twenty seconds. Pinkie snort-giggled, then asked, “Why’d you ask me about my home? Is the Anathema there?”

 

“Yes and no.” Kras’hir replied, stroking Usagi’s hair. “His soul is, but His corpse is elsewhere.”

 

She continued stroking her lover’s hair. Usagi smiled. “Are you saying we look for the Anathema, Kras’hir?”

 

“No, my dear, unless you wish to see a long-dead corpse.”

 

“...I don’t.” Usagi said.

 

“...So, am I going to have to mount your boyfriend’s head on a spike out of jealousy, after a duel to the death, or are you going to talk to him about us?” Kras’hir asked casually.

 

“Oh, umm, uhh…”

 

Kras’hir snorted, before kissing her. Deeply. Usagi blushed heavily, but the moment of intimacy was interrupted by Morbus and Isha. Kras’hir let loose an explosive chain of curses, making crude insinuations about their parentage, habits and views on life. Isha covered her son’s ‘ears’, her cheeks burning. Morbus just stared, slack jawed as a torrent of flies poured out of his mouth.

 

Kras’hir, who was aroused and frustrated, picked up Usagi and growled, “We'll be back. Don't interrupt us.”

 

She left the room. Isha blinked, clearing her throat.

 

“Dinner is served!” Morbus said, serving everyone.

 

About ten minutes later, Kras’hir and Usagi returned. Kras’hir was panting, a tired grin on her face.

 

“We may...or may not...have broken one of your beds.”

 

“No comment.” said Morbus, hopping onto his mother’s head, and resting on top of it.

 

Kras’hir set Usagi back in her chair. “She got into it just as much as I did. I mean, look at her hair.” Usagi’s hair was no longer in a bun-like odango style, but ruffled, long, and luscious.

 

“Oh, stop.” she said.

 

“Why? You know you love it.” Kras’hir teased.

 

“I do.”

 

Kras’hir grinned. “And I love you.”

 

“I know…”

 

“Say it...Say it…”

 

“I love you too.”

 

Kras’hir nodded, smiling, before she began to eat, shoveling in food as fast as she could grab it. Pinkie followed her example, as did Usagi to a lesser degree. After the meal ended, it was time to meet with the final Power: Tzeentch. Isha wished them luck, and waved goodbye as they left.

 

“Bye-bye!” Morbus said, waking up at that moment.

 

Just as Tzeentch manifests and appears in many different guises, many of them fluid and shifting, so too, the domain of the Changer of Ways within the Realm of Chaos constantly adapts to its master's whims, desires, moods, and, of course, the demands of his Thousand and One Plots. Observers human, xenos, and daemon perceive and interpret this territory in a wide variety of ways. In fact, some scholars and a few of the more coherent first-hand witnesses who have survived contact with Tzeentch's realm have suggested that neither mortal nor daemon, save perhaps the most powerful Lords of Change, can grasp the true nature of Tzeentch's shifting realm. Most who visit the domain of the Great Mutator quickly go mad; those of exceptionally strong mind and strong will can perhaps interpret but one facet of the often crystalline landscape that, like Tzeentch Himself, has an infinite number of faces. Many commentators suggest that the mind can only perceive this world of Warp energy wrought into something resembling solid form through symbols or metaphors, images created by the mind of the iron-willed in an attempt to make sense of pure Chaos and constant change. In fact, many commentators rely on paradoxical metaphors even to describe the process of perceiving Tzeentch's realm itself: sculpting with fog, describing a dream as it occurs, singing silently, painting with mist, and the like. The Great Ocean of the Warp is a sea of madness and insanity, and Tzeentch's realm is the concentrated essence of such things given form.

In spite of the constantly changing nature of the domain of the Architect of Fate and the limited capacity of the mortal mind to perceive and comprehend it, certain common views have emerged from the extant descriptions of Tzeentch's realm. Some observers claim that an enormous crystalline labyrinth dominates the landscape, a luminescent plane shimmering like a polished, mottled opal. Passages in this maze appear, dissolve, merge, split, and change direction seemingly at random. Only the Lords of Change, Tzeentch’s most powerful servants, and those with the trenchant insights of the irrevocably mad can hope to understand the design of Tzeentch's deranged maze and to navigate its corridors. No daemons are needed to act as sentinels in Tzeentch's realm; the labyrinth itself provides sufficient protection against anyone rash and foolhardy enough to attempt an assault on the Great Schemer.

Those who gaze into the crystalline substance that composes this maze may see more than light reflected and refracted in the fluctuating facets of the shining surfaces. They may catch glimpses of fears, miseries, and hopes made visually manifest; dreams and nightmares; histories real and imagined; potential futures; images of torment, ecstasy, and despair; and abstract thoughts made momentarily concrete as pictures in the crystals. One visionary reported seeing various images of his children at different points in their lives, all of them moments of despair, sorrow, and desperation. Another recounted her experiences in Tzeentch's realm as one of exultation and ecstasy as she witnessed reflected representations of what she took to be her possible futures, each more joyful and successful than the last. Yet another claimed to observe nightmare imagery in the mirrored surface of the labyrinth: daemons rending flesh from friends and loved ones, the destruction of his home by dark Sorcerers wielding Warpfire, and worst of all, the transformation of his own body into a tentacled, writhing mass. When this last traveller was finally able to tear his gaze away from the hellish visions, he discovered that days had passed and that his body had indeed changed into the hideous Chaos Spawn he had seen in his vision. Records show that all three of these individuals met with tragic ends: suicide, insanity, and execution at the hands of the Inquisition, respectively. In one sense, these survivors of Tzeentch's realm were fortunate, as it is rumoured that most who travel through the maze of the Raven God wander it eternally as miserable, insane shells of their former selves, forever tormented by ghastly visions, regrets over their mistakes and missed opportunities, and the hopes for a tomorrow that they will never realise.

While the passage of time in the Warp fluctuates and does not correspond to its regular, linear flow in the normal four-dimensional space-time of the Materium, the inconsistency of time's progression is even more pronounced in Tzeentch's realm. As the anecdote above suggests, in what seems like a few minutes spent gazing into the depths of the crystals of Tzeentch's labyrinthine realm, days or even standard years can pass. Two individuals might enter Tzeentch's realm in the same instant in time; one might exit moments later and report that years had passed, whereas the other could spend centuries of real time in Tzeentch's realm but swear that he had been gone only minutes. In addition, other peculiarities in individuals' subjective perceptions of time occur within Tzeentch's realm itself. A single footstep may seem to take hours to complete. What seems like a few seconds spent admiring the beautiful refraction of light on the crystalline structure of the maze can take days. Many visitors "momentarily" transfixed by some curiosity in Tzeentch's realm have died of dehydration or starvation. Others can spend years wandering the insane corridors of Tzeentch's maze without drinking, eating, or resting -- their metabolism apparently slowed by Chaotic influences.

Legends tell of an entity known as "The Guardian of the Maze" that inhabits the Crystalline Labyrinth. Though his name implies that he serves as the protector of Tzeentch's realm, he is said to function more as a gatekeeper and observer. Rumours tell of a path through Tzeentch's realm that, in theory, anyone, mortal or daemon, may follow to discover infinite knowledge. To follow this path, the inquisitive pilgrim must travel through nine gates. These portals, three times the height of a man, appear as golden arches wreathed in the blue and pink Warpfire of Tzeentch. Such is the power of the Guardian of the Maze, or perhaps it is the bizarre temporal nature of Tzeentch's twisting realm itself, that the Guardian manifests as a giant disembodied mouth hovering above all nine gates simultaneously. At each gate, the mouth ponderously speaks, asking those seekers of knowledge one of the nine hundred and ninety-nine Riddles of Tzaratxoth. Those who answer the riddles correctly may pass through the gates and continue along the path to ultimate enlightenment. Those who fail to answer correctly are doomed to wander the labyrinth for all eternity wracked with insanity and regret over the infinite knowledge that might have been theirs. Legend tells of one being -- the only one in all history, who answered all nine of the questions correctly. Strangely, many versions of the story posit that this individual appeared in the guise of a young girl who was accompanied by a small black dog. Factions within the galaxy wage vicious scholarly battles over the hidden significance of this tale, or if the tale actually happened, or was yet another metaphorical wisp of smoke from the Master of Lies.


Tzeentch's sanctum sanctorum, the Impossible Fortress, is said to lie at the centre of the crystalline maze, if indeed geographical descriptors such as "centre" apply with any accuracy to this inconstant realm. Some consider this as more akin to a central belief or conceit that might drive a series of thoughts than an actual location, as nothing of this area has physicality as mortals would comprehend it. While this ætheric edifice is in constant flux, many have described it as a crystalline castle composed of the same sort of material as the labyrinth that surrounds it. Imbalanced spires spontaneously emerge from the ever-shifting foundation of the Impossible Fortress, as do towers of blue and pink flame and searing Warpfire. Gates, doors, and portals slowly open, as if yawning with the ennui of ages, only to slam shut like mouths of terrible beasts and then disappear. Mortals shackled by the psychological manacles forged by a lifetime of habit and enculturation in the material realm cannot fathom the perverse design of Tzeentch's home. Indeed, as the name of this fastness implies, even the most visionary and heretical designers of the material realm could not draft plans for the maddening architecture of the Impossible Fortress. Few daemons, save the most powerful Lords of Change, can navigate its corridors, but as these creations are intelligent distillations of the madness that makes up Tzeentch's realm, they thrive all the same.

Deep inside the Impossible Fortress, according to some profane accounts, lies Tzeentch's fabled Hidden Library. This infinite collection of tomes, scrolls, and parchments of every kind contains every scrap of knowledge and thought ever recorded in Creation; stories written and unwritten; histories true and alternate; and accounts of futures potential, actual, and imagined. Many of the volumes are so weighty with knowledge that they gain a sentience of a kind and spend centuries chattering to passersby, arguing with one another, rewriting themselves, and then reorganising their placement accordingly. Magical chains of Warpflame help to protect the books and bind them in place. Horrors serve as grotesque librarians and work tirelessly to re-shelve the works, catalogue the collection, and maintain what passes for order in the Impossible Fortress, though as the concept itself is anathema to the Great Mutator, no mortal could possibly fathom such a design.

As with so many things associated with the Changer of Ways, few things are always as they seem. Although the Crystal Maze, the Impossible Fortress, and the Hidden Library often appear (or at least are often perceived) as delineated above, by no means are these descriptions consistent with every narrative provided by those unfortunate souls who have visited Tzeentch's domain. Bock Sammaelle, dubbed the "Lunatic Scrivener of Hamclov Prime" by the princes who acted as his patrons, claimed to have travelled to and returned from Tzeentch's realm in the early days of Core Earth. Sammaelle attested that he saw nothing but a bleak hill on which a single, leafless tree stood. Daylasse Dial, the Heretic illuminator of Phalan 10 who was later executed for heresy many millennia before, described Tzeentch's realm as a barren, desert landscape populated by deformed, headless humanoids that continually split and reformed into new bodies. Other witnesses have described a realm of pulsating and constantly morphing protoplasm, towers of fungus and mould, continents of sentient vegetation and vines without finite length, and vast landscapes of nothing but barren stone and ash. It is likely that Tzeentch's realm is all of these things and many more. Others have suggested that observers interpret Tzeentch's realm subjectively, filtering their perception of structured Warp energy through their own expectations and experiences. It may be most probable that Tzeentch Himself determines how each mortal or daemonic individual perceives His realm to suit the needs, whims, and conspiracies of the Master of Lies.

 

The Rangers looked at the constantly shifting maze, both amazed and perplexed at its complexity. “So...this is where Drako’s Master dwells.” observed Blackhawk. “I can see why he worships Him.”

 

Kras’hir said, “Do not gaze long into the glass walls. You will see visions, visions of love and hate, life and death, despair and joy. You may think mere moments have passed, when, in reality, years, decades or even centuries have gone by.”

 

Usagi held onto her lover close, afraid. Lettuce and Pinkie stared at one another. “Pinkie?” Lettuce began.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I know we’ve been going on-again, off-again since last Christmas, but if we don’t come out of this alive, I have one question: will you be my girlfriend?”

 

She was silent for a moment, before smiling widely and hugging him. “Yes!” Lettuce hugged her back, trying not to cry. Toby smiled, looking at them.

 

“Isn’t that sweet? My fellow second-in-command and fellow Ranger is finally going steady with my other fellow Ranger.”

 

“I’m happy for you both.” said Blackhawk, “but we need to get moving.”

 

Kras’hir said, “I want you all to follow me, walking in a line. Do not look at anything but the back of the person in front of you.”

 

With that, she began walking through the shifting Maze, keeping her lover close to her chest. The Rangers obeyed, not even looking at the walls of the maze, no matter how much it tempted them. Through each part of the maze they walked, with it often trying to tempt them much like Slaanesh’s Palace did. Eventually, they came upon a gate. A voice whispered a riddle, one that was almost impossible to solve. Kras’hir, after much thinking, gave her answer, and the gate opened. This went on for a while, the pattern of walking and solving riddles seemingly endless. Eventually, the last one was solved, and the way to the Impossible Fortress opened. It looked like a spire made of crystal and glass, jutting out of nothingness. Kras’hir approached it, cautiously. The Rangers followed suit. “...Whoa.” said Toby. “This is amazing.”

 

“Yeah.” agreed Ebony. “It reminds me of the towers at Hogwarts.”

 

“Or something out of a novel.” said Naruto.

 

They eventually, after wandering for a while, entered a room. It was mostly empty, save for a large circular table. At the table sat a man in a three-piece suit, shuffling a deck of cards. “Umm...go fish?” asked Lettuce, saying the first thing that came to mind.

 

The man looked at them. “Come and sit, Rangers.”

 

His voice was...strange, like many speaking at once. They came forward, one by one, until the entire group sat in a circle. “...You’re Tzeentch.” Ebony said. “One of our foes, and sometimes ally Drako, worships you.”

 

Kras’hir noticed he was shuffling Tarot cards. He said, “Yes, I am He whom you came to speak with.”

 

Other voices whispered, “I am not Him.” “I might be Him.”

 

“...Are we playing poker?” Lettuce asked, only to get thwacked by Ebony.

 

“Those are Tarot cards, dummy.” she said irritably.

 

The Suited Man offered her the deck. “Choose…” Ebony pulled a card from the deck to reveal herself on the card, much to her confusion and surprise.

 

When she blinked, it became a card she was familiar with...Death. She dropped the card in shock. “A-am I gonna die?!

 

“Yes.” “No.” “Possibly.” “Probably.” “Probably not.”

 

“Well, which is it?!”

 

He didn't reply, offering the deck to Usagi. She pulled a card, revealing the Moon. She, unfamiliar with tarot cards, tilted her head. “What does it mean?”

 

He answered, not looking at her, “With Pisces as its ruling sign, the Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. At its darkest this can be a very horrifying card warning the querent of hidden enemies, mental illness, alcoholic blackouts or a bad drug trip. At its very best, however, the Moon is a card of genius, of mental breakthroughs, astonishing creativity, powerful magic, and intuition.

The querent who gets this card should be warned that they may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial, a time when they'll do things that seem to make sense to them, yet when they come out of it they'll wonder, "Why did I do that? It makes no sense!" Their mind will be playing tricks on them, and so this is not a good time for making decisions that require rational thought and a clear head.

This card can, likewise, signal a crazy time for relationships. Whirlwind romances, powerful and dreamlike, but not trustworthy. For families and friends this is a time of emotional ups and downs.

If the querent has any past mental problems, they must be vigilant in taking their medication and seeing their therapist. They should avoid recreational drugs or alcohol, they will have a bad reaction if they take either. At the same time, the Moon signals great creativity, enhanced psychic powers, visions. The querent's judgment may not be trustworthy, but they will have intuitive flashes that are remarkably accurate.”

 

“H-how does that relate to me?” she asked hesitantly.

 

“Look at your partner.” Tzeentch said. Usagi looked at Kras’hir, blinking.

 

“A most unconventional romance, wouldn't you say? And this card may be accurate, considering your...history.”

 

Usagi’s eyes widened, and she put her hand over her mouth. “My past…” Memories came flooding back, of her having to leave her friends, Mamoru...Luna and Artemis...what did Tzeentch know, and how much?

 

“I know all things, child. Nothing escapes my notice. Nothing.” Usagi just buried her face into Kras’hir’s chest, sobbing.

 

Kras’hir stared at the Lord of Schemes. “Is this part of one of your countless plans?”

 

“Obviously.”

 

“You're a bastard.”

 

“I knew you'd say that. Just like I knew you'd fall in love with a mortal, and I knew you would be quite willing to kill to keep her from sorrow. You will do things in the future, terrible things, just to keep your beloved happy.” Lettuce took the next card: the Lovers.

 

“Huh...how appropriate.” What shocked him, however, is that the card showed Pinkie and himself embracing. After a blink, it changed to show Adam and Eve.

 

“Newcomers to my Fortress often ask, "What is the Lovers' card about? Is it about finding love?" Yes, and no. It is possible that the original name of this card was "Love." The oldest decks call it "The amorous one," The Lovers being a mistranslation. So really, it's about one person being "in love" with someone or something.

Many books, however, define the card not as "Love" but as a "choice." And the images that have been used for this card make it even more confusing. The original trump featured a man and a woman with a cupid above them about to shoot his dart (into which? Cupid's arrows only make the one they strike fall in love). Later decks had a man choosing between two women, or a man meeting his true love with the help of a matchmaker. Still later, with Waite, we have an Angel above Adam and Eve. The Angel stands for Raphael, who is emblematic of Mercury and Air, with Adam and Eve related to Gemini in that Eve split from Adam and is, essentially, his twin. And the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge indicates Adam and Eve choosing to "know" each other in every sense of the word. This connection to Gemini means that the Lovers card is NOT about "romance" or passion. Romantic emotions are typically related to water. And blazing passion is associated with fire. Gemini, an air sign, is about messages and making contact. It's about the psyche. In addition, at #6 the Lover's card is about "harmony." Thus, it is about something that speaks to you, that you "know" and recognize as your other or mirror self (twin), and which makes you feel harmonically balanced or complete. You may experience this psychic attraction to something small like a pair of shoes you have to have, or a rock band whose music says all you ever wanted to say. Or you might be drawn to something huge, a plot of land you want to own, or someone else's boyfriend/girlfriend who, at first sight, makes you think: "That's my husband/wife." In interpretation, the card indicates that the querent has come across, or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing (a puppy, a car, a house) that they will fall in love with. They will know instinctively that it was meant for them, even if it means diverging from their chosen path (that is the "Love" part). On the other hand, their common sense must also make a decision on whether or not to go along with this psychic "choice." There is often a measure of hardship or cost that comes with giving into this spiritual attraction.”

 

“So I’m not only romantically attracted, but spiritually attracted to Pinkie?”

 

Tzeentch, once again, didn't answer. Kras'hir drew next. The card made her grin a bit: The Wheel of Fortune.

 

Tzeentch said when He saw it, “The Wheel of Fortune is all about luck and change. The wheel symbolizes completeness as well as the rise and fall of fortunes and the message that what goes around comes around. Almost every definition of this card indicates abundance, happiness, elevation, or luck; a change that just happens, and brings with it great joy.”

 

Pinkie drew next: the Fool. “Hey!” she protested.

 

“The Fool is the card of infinite possibilities. The bag on the staff indicates that he has all he needs to do or be anything he wants, he has only to stop and unpack. He is on his way to a brand new beginning. But the card carries a little bark of warning as well. While it's wonderful to be enthralled with all around you, excited by all life has to offer, you still need to watch your step, lest you fall and end up looking the fool.”

 

“...What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“The card is chosen by you. I merely explain what it means.” Tzeentch said. After a few seconds, Pinkie got it.

 

“So I have everything I need to do what I want, but I have to be careful about it?”

 

He nodded, holding out the deck to the others. Blackhawk drew Strength.

 

“There are many stories that come to mind with this card: Daniel in the lion's den. The Aesop's fable of "The Sun and the Wind," where the Sun's warmth, as compared to the Wind's coldness, persuades a man to take off his coat. Also tales of saintly maids who get brutish barbarians to kneel down in prayer. What we see in all these stories is the taming of the beast by way of inner strength and gentleness.

The Maiden represents higher feelings and that we can experience if we bring our wild passions to heel. And so we willingly do so.

This card, however, isn't just about the Maiden's power. Like its ruling sign Leo, this card is also about the hot, roaring energy and enthusiasm of the Lion including passions like "lust" (which is the name it was given by Crowley in his Thoth deck). The lion's power may be frightening, but it is also desirable. Much can be achieved if such power is put to use. Some decks, in fact, label this card as "Power."

That energies can be brought under control and used is very close to the message of the Chariot, which might be why, in some decks, it is Justice that is card #8 instead of Strength. There is a difference, however, between Strength and the Chariot. The Chariot is a card about using your impulses to achieve a victory.

Strength is about combining two strengths to overcome weakness. The Maiden is weak of form, but her mastery of herself is powerful. The Lion is strong of form, but weak when it comes to mastering himself. The Maiden's commands overcome the Lion's weakness, and his form overcomes the Maiden's weakness. This is why the Maiden doesn't try to harness the lion to a chariot, nor does she run from it or try to kill it. She meets its eyes, touches it, embraces it. This is a card about understanding our wild natures, accepting them, yet also gentling those passions so that they work for us rather than against us. Putting these two strengths together creates perseverance, personal honor, and courage.

The card can also stand for a steadfast friend.”

 

“That fits you well, Blackhawk: you always put others before yourself no matter what.” said Naruto. As the last to not draw a card, he swiped one from the deck. On it were the Multiverse Force, and all the other Power Ranger teams that came before them...as well as after them. The word beneath was JUSTICE...for a moment, before it became the card of Judgement. Tzeentch looked at him, before explaining both.

 

“With Libra as its ruling sign, Justice is about cold, objective balance through reason or natural force. This is the card that tells the querent that excesses have consequences. Indulging in drinking and drugs will affect their health, just as excessive exercise can damage muscles and joints and working too much can make one neglect family and friends.

Justice urges the querent to make adjustments, do whatever is necessary to bring things back into balance: physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually. In a more mundane sense, this card may signal a court case, legal documents, adjustments in a marriage or partnership. The outcome of all of these may not be exactly what the querent wants, but it will be what they need. It will also be scrupulously fair. If the card is reversed, it can indicate bias, obstruction of the law, or legal complications.

 

With Fire as its ruling element, Judgement is about rebirth and resurrection. The idea of Judgement Day is that the dead rise, their sins are forgiven, and they move onto heaven. The Judgement card is similar in that it asks us to resurrect the past, forgive it, and let it go. There are wounds from the past that we never let heal, sins we've committed that we refuse to forgive, bad habits we haven't the courage to lose. Judgement advises us to finally face these, recognize that the past is past, and put them to rest, absolutely and irrevocably.

The reader can tell the querent that they need to forgive or be forgiven, do something they've been putting off, or have the courage to finally end something that isn't good for them. It is time to move on.

 

This is also a card of healing, quite literally from an accident or illness. It can indicate a time in the hospital, or a time of significant change.”

 

“Justice and Judgement..the Power Rangers are a force that brings balance to good and evil, and inspire change, hope, and forgiveness.” Naruto said.

 

Tzeentch began laughing. “You're not a force. You're puppets. Puppets dancing to the tune I give you.”

 

“Even if you are the Changer of Ways, my point still stands. We represent the hope that you can bring.”

 

“Hope...yes...hope...hope brings change...and change is why I scheme. Look at your cards again.” Everyone did.

 

“What’s your point?” Naruto asked.

 

He snapped his fingers. Each card changed, showing an image of the person holding it being tortured. On each card was a word. Together, they spelled out, “You will not learn your destinies from me.”

 

“Who, then? Who will we learn our destinies from?” Blackhawk asked.

 

Usagi instantly understood. “Ourselves.”

 

Tzeentch slid a box over to her. “You have earned this. Inside is something you desire.”

 

Usagi opened it, wondering what it could be. Inside was a way back to Core Earth.

 

Kras’hir closed the box, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it repeatedly. “It's a trap, Usagi. It will take you back to where you want to go, but likely not when you want to get there.”

 

He slid a box over to the Daemoness, who opened it out of morbid curiosity. Her eyes widened. “By the Gods…”

 

“What? What is it?” all the Rangers asked.

 

She turned the box over...and Mamoru’s head rolled out. Usagi broke down, finally realizing that her boyfriend might be dead. “...Is that really him?” she asked Tzeentch through her tears. “Or is this another trap?”

 

“Do not blame Me for his death. Blame your girlfriend. What you desire most, remember?”

 

Usagi turned to Kras’hir. “...I hate you!”

 

Kras’hir flipped the table, sending it end over end until it crashed into the wall behind Tzeentch.

 

She was completely calm, though her hands shook madly. “I'm. Going. To. Kill. You. SCHEMER!”

 

With that, she began beating the shit out of Him with her bare hands. The whole time, she was ranting at Him.

 

“I NEVER WANTED HIM TO BE KILLED! I WANTED HIM “OUT OF THE WAY”, NOT ABLE TO GET BETWEEN ME AND USAGI! I DIDN'T WANT HIM DEAD, YOU STUPID SHIT!”

 

“Am I...really? Because you are the one who is doing nothing to convince her that you are not a violent brute.”

 

That made Kras’hir freeze, turning around. Usagi was crying even harder, and the others surrounded her in a group hug, trying their best to comfort her. Kras'hir said, mournfully, “I am a monster. I fall in love, and not long after, I unintentionally hurt the one I fell in love with.”

 

“It isn’t your fault.” said Blackhawk. “But Usagi isn’t in a very good emotional state. I honestly don’t think she’ll forgive you that easily, let alone enter a relationship with you right now.”

 

Kras’hir stood, and said, speaking directly to Usagi, “If you want to know one thing about me, know this: I do not lie. Lying is for the weak and cowardly, and I am neither. If I wanted Mamoru dead-which I didn't-I would have done the killing myself. I don't rely on others to do my killing for me. I also don't murder children. No warrior with an ounce of honor would do something so heinous, or wish for it. Do you really think I would want to hurt you like that? Want to fuck up and end things with you just after we got started? I mean, for the love of the Gods, I was joking when I asked about putting his head on a spike. I was never going to do it. I love you, Usagi. I hope you know that much, at least…”

 

Kras’hir sat, closing her eyes. She felt something strange...was this sadness? It was new, but it felt right for this situation. Usagi dried her eyes, broke the group hug, and slowly walked over. Closing her own eyes, she pulled the Daemoness into what could be described as the deepest, most passionate kiss they’d had.

 

“...I forgive you. I love you too.”

 

Kras’hir did something then that, in her eons-long lifespan, she had never done before: She began to weep. Tears flowed down her face, as she pulled Usagi close, hugging her gently. Naruto approached Tzeentch slowly, as Kurama possessed him. “Now,” the demon-Naruto growled, “you will do as I say, lest I harm you further, Changer of Ways. Are we understood?”

 

“You are nothing, Blood Ranger. Nothing but a blind, unintelligent brute, bashing your head against the brick wall until it caves or your skull does. I would laugh if it weren't so pitiful.” That did it. The possessed Naruto unleashed his full strength, literally tearing into Tzeentch and doing what Kras’hir had done to Slaanesh earlier.

 

He was not Slaanesh, however. Tzeentch immediately healed, His form changing. A long staff was now in His hand, crackling with arcane energy.

 

“Fine. You wish to struggle against your strings, little puppet? Come on, then, because I am no longer holding back.”

 

The possessed Naruto, as powerful as he undoubtedly was, was still facing a Chaos God. The next five minutes consisted of Tzeentch brushing off every hit Naruto landed while blasting his opponent around the room with magic that made the arcane sorcery used at Hogwarts look like a baboon brandishing a shiny stick. “Please,” Usagi begged Kras’hir. “You have to do something!”

 

She stood, drawing her blade. She threw back her head, and began to bellow.

 

“KHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

 

The Blood God granted her His Favor once again, and she changed, becoming what she had desired to be for ages...a Bloodthirster.

 

Tzeentch looked toward her. She grinned, slowly beginning to advance on him. The sheer power difference between her and Naruto became apparent when spells that had blown him back didn't scratch her. She, once again, began thrashing the Changer of Ways around, laughing madly. The Rangers joined in, unleashing as many attacks as possible.

 

When it was done, He was kneeling, using His staff for support. Kras’hir snarled, “Nowhere to go now! So, tell me, what secrets do You have to share?”

 

He said, standing again, “Do not ask which creature screams in the night. Do not question who waits for you in the shadow. It is My cry that wakes you in the night, and My body that crouches in the shadow. I am Tzeentch and you are the puppet that dances to My tune..."

 

With that, he slammed his staff into the floor, sending them to another part of His Fortress: The Hidden Library.

 

The Rangers were surprised when they arrived in the Library. “Wow!” said Lettuce. “Look at all these books.”

 

“Yeah.” said Blackhawk. “Maybe there’s a way to get back home in one of them.”

 

Kras’hir had pulled a book off a shelf. The cover read, “Friends and Why You Don't Need Any.After some more digging around, Naruto found a massive volume entitled History of the Power Rangers….filled with false information. The book kept rewriting itself.

 

“Hey, Tzeentch!” Lettuce called out. “Enough of your games! Give us an army to work with, and a way back to Core Earth, and we’ll go quietly!”

 

Kras’hir was completely distracted. She found another book: “How to Cook Penguins in Ten Minutes or Less!” This made her raise a brow, before she found a tome that might interest Usagi while they were still unsure of a way out: “A Complete History of the City of Tokyo.” When Usagi saw it, she did indeed find it interesting...and even moreso when she saw it was in manga form. She began reading fervently, lost in the pages. Lettuce, meanwhile, looked under ‘C’ for Core Earth. “Courtship: How to Make People Love You.” “Cooking Ponies: How to get the best and most tender meat from pony hide.” “Core Earth: A History.” “Core Earth: This Won't Take You Home, So Go Fuck Yourself.” “Core Earth: How to get there from the Warp. This last one intrigued Lettuce, and he began reading cautiously.

 

The book was snatched out of his flippers by one of the librarians, a floating mass of eyes, flesh and tentacles. “Uh, I was reading that, thank you very much.” he deadpanned.

 

Kras’hir walked over, and began reading the book that was on the shelf just behind the one Lettuce had been reading. “I won't go fuck myself, book. I have Usagi for that…” Meanwhile, Lettuce was attempting to beat the shit out of the librarian who had taken that book. It promptly began choking him in self-defense. Kras’hir threw her blade without even looking, spearing the librarian and making it drop Lettuce. He picked up the book and continued reading. That book was lies...but the one Kras’hir was reading detailed a way out. Lettuce picked up on this, and he grinned.

 

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

 

“...The librarians make funny noises when they die.”

 

“Nooo. I was thinking that we use the information in that book to get out of the Warp.”

 

She nodded, walking back to Usagi. “Usagi? Warp to Usagi…”

 

“Hm?” she replied, looking up from her own tome.

 

Kras’hir kissed her nose. “We found a way out.”

 

“Oh, awesome!” Usagi cheered. “...What is it?”

 

“...It will require a sacrifice.” Kras’hir said. Usagi’s eyes widened, her pupils shrinking into tiny dots.

 

“A-are we going to sacrifice one of us?” she asked hesitantly.

 

“Of course not.” said Lettuce. “...We can use one of these ugly-as-absolute-sin things.” He then pointed to the dead librarian.

 

“It doesn't need a deadly sacrifice. Merely a few body parts. Do any of you have a knife?”

Ebony, hearing the conversation, offered one of her Shadow Daggers. “Here. Use this.” The Power Weapon’s blade was long, sharp black obsidian. Perfect. Kras’hir took it, before cutting off two of her own fingers, one on each hand. Usagi and Lettuce looked away. Ebony just watched in awe as the other Rangers gathered around.

 

“The way back home requires sacrifice. Unsurprising.” Blackhawk said dryly.

 

“Hey.” said Naruto. “It’s the best shot we have right now.”

 

“Do all of us need to sacrifice a body part?” asked Pinkie.

 

Kras’hir shook her head, holding the two bloody fingers in her right hand. “We need to create a circle. We need salt and stones.”

 

“Where the hell are we gonna find salt and-oh.” Blackhawk said as Lettuce pulled a salt shaker out of nowhere and Pinkie pulled out some rocks her sister Maud had given her before she’d left Equestria for Core Earth. As such, they held some sentimental value and were difficult for her to part with as a result.

 

Kras’hir took the salt and rocks, walking to an empty space in the library. “I need you all to stand back.” The team nodded, stepping back a few feet.

 

She made a circle with salt, lining the top, bottom, left and right with the rocks. She began to chant in the Daemonic tongue, entreating the various powers of the Warp to allow passage to Core Earth. Dark energy began swirling within the circle, and voices whispered darkly, speaking of death and despair. She dropped her fingers in, and they went silent, before the ground tore open, creating a portal. This one was exactly like the one that had brought them into the Warp before, purple and swirling with energies from damned souls. “Well,” said Naruto. “We’re approaching the home stretch. Our final battle with Emperor Diabolica is about to begin.”

 

“Yeah.” said Toby. “Good luck, everyone.”

 

Kras’hir said to Usagi, “Don't die, lover. There is so much left for us to do….if you know what I mean.”

 

Usagi grinned, kissing her again. “You’re still coming with us, right? You should join us in this fight.”

 

Kras’hir pulled her close. “You kidding? I wouldn't miss this fight for the world. This is what I live for...well, one of two things I live for.”

 

Tzeentch spoke from behind them, making Kras’hir jump, “Oh, how romantic.”

 

“Stay back, T’char.” Blackhawk hissed, using the Chaos God’s true name. “We were just on our way out.”

 

“So hostile. I merely came to inform you that your army will be waiting on the other side. Or, rather, your four armies.”

 

“...Good.” Blackhawk said, as the other six Rangers stepped through the portal. Blackhawk followed quickly.  Kras’hir did the same. They ended up atop a hill, looking down on four Daemonic armies. Khornates, Slaaneshis, Nurglites and Tzeentchians all in one place, covering the ground completely for several miles. Each army was led by three Greater Daemons: Bloodthirsters, Great Unclean Ones, Keepers of Secrets and Lords of Change. Naruto stared at them all, a stoic expression on his face. Extending the arm on which his Power Watch was, the leader said one thing that caused their army to cheer:

 

“It’s morphing time.” Without a word, the Rangers instantly changed into their uniforms, preparing for the battle that would decide Core Earth’s fate.

 

To be continued...