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The Patient

Creation Glory

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It's back again this year and this time, it's being hosted by me. 'Creation Glory' is a simple story contest for your ideas. If you don't want to make a full-fledged spin-off/lit during the festival, that's perfectly fine. However, if you do want to show some of your creativity for something smaller, then this contest is worth taking a shot at. The rules are as follows:

1: The story can be about anything. It could be SpongeBob related or non-SpongeBob related, it doesn't matter to us, as long as it's not against the community's Fan-Fiction guidelines.

2: It cannot be a chapter of an already existing work (if you have any), this is for fresh ideas.

3: It must at least be 500 words, but can go over.

4: If you'd like to consider making it a pilot or start to a proposed creation, go ahead, but again, it must be something new. If you want it just be a one-shot, that's fine with us as well. 

After we get a good amount of entries, a judging panel will pick the best story. The winner will receive 1,000 SOF Tickets, 1,000 doubloons, and we'll help encourage the winner to possibly turn their idea into a full-fledged spin-off or lit. The deadline to submit something is before the last day of the Spin-Off Festival, on June 18th, and the winner will be announced June 19th.

Edited by Harold Claude
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so i pm you it right 


well jjs told me i post it here so


  • Spingeberb sqerepunts pilot waiting for help

  • [Following the spingeberb SqerePunts theme song, the brief opening titles show the names of creator Steven universe, Derek digimon and others. The episode opens with a bubble transition, and we see a coral reef under the sea. The camera zooms to initiate parallax scrolling, which reveals the city of Bukunii Boatom. It continues zooming to show a diamond, an ugly house, and a banana, which each contain inhabitants.]

  • american Narcissist: Ah, the sea... so lame. So stupid. Here, we see Bikini Bottom, with sea animals that can talk for some stupid reason.can i get paid now [Shows from left to right trick's, Sqidward's, and SpingeBerb's houses. Zooms in on SpingeBerb's  house.]Home to an annoying creature spingeberb SqerePunts. Yes, of course he lives in a banana, you idiot. [Scene cuts to the house's bedroom. A sea snail is seen sleeping near a pile of newspapers on the floor, a scallop is seen in a birdcage, and a young, stupid  sea sponge is seen sleeping in his bed, snoring as his foghorn alarm clock which he needs to get rid of ticks. SpingeBerb’s alarm then sounds. He wakes,and gets mad at it

  • Spingeberb:why did i buy this stupid alarm instead of getting mario kart 64 or something oh well time to get rid of it

  • (and just like that he makes it fly into the sun)

  • . He climbs from his bed to a ladder, leading to his diving board.]

  • SpingeBerb SqerePunts: Today's the big day, gury you awful snail

  • Gury the Snail: Mew

  • SpingeBerb: [jumps on the diving board] Look at me, I'm... [jumps up, and leaves his underwear behind]...naked! [Lands inside pants, walks over to exercise room. His head pops out of the top of his pants.] Gotta be in amazing condition for today, Gury.

  • Gury: Mew.

  • spingeberb: [He goes inside his large gym room that has a sign that reads "I Love Pain." Taking deep breaths, he prepares to lift a barbell that is balanced by two large pianos. He sticks out his chest, and lifts them up like they were paper. He drops it, and it makes a "squeak" noise] I'm ready! [runs outside] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! [A stupid sea star's diamond tilts upwards with him going up an escalator

  • trick Stir: Go, SpingeBerb! [trick falls and breaks his back] Whoa! [crash sound effect]

  • SpingeBerb: [runs down the street to the milkshake shop ] There it is. The finest drink making establishment ever established for drinking: The milkshake, home of the patty shake With a Help Wanted sign in the window! For years I've been dreaming of this moment! I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager, look 'im straight in the eye [breaks the fourth wall and looks the audience in the eye], lay it on the line and... I can't do this! [He starts to run home, but trick stops him.] Uh, trick!

  • trick: Where do you think you're going?

  • SpingeBerb: I was just...

  • trick: No you're not. You're going to the milkshake shop and get that job! Which is amazing and gives lots of money

  • SpingeBerb: I can't, don't you see? I'm not good enough!

  • trick: Whose first words were "may I drink a milkshake

  • SpingeBerb: Mine were.

  • trick: Who made a milkshake out of paper clips and rocks

  • SpingeBerb: I did.

  • trick: [grimaces and contorts twice while trying to come up with a good third line] Who's a, uh, who's uhh, oh! Who's a big yellow cube with holes?

  • SpingeBerb: I am!

  • trick: Who's ready?

  • SpingeBerb: I'm ready!

  • trick: Who's ready?

  • SpingeBerb: I'm ready!

  • trick: Who's ready?

  • SpingeBerb: I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! [runs toward the milkshake shop An octopus is seen cleaning graffiti on the restaurant's windows.]

  • Sqidward Tennisballs: [cleaning graffiti of himself with the word "ugly loser," sees SpingeBerb, and sighs] Oh no, SpingeBerb. he is gonna replace me

  • SpingeBerb: [in background, at first while Sqidward was talking] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! Go, SpingeBob! Go, SpingeBerb! Go, SpingeBerb! Go, self! Get lots of money to get pokemon ultra sun and pokemon ultra moon [Sqidward looks at the Help Wanted sign, screams, and runs inside.]

  • Sqidward: [While SpingeBerb says, "I'm ready," one more time in the background] Mir. crabs! [cuts to the ordering window, where a sea crab is seen near lots of money.  And a nintendo Sqidward runs up to him.] Hurry, Mir. crabs, before it's too late, I gotta tell you- [interrupted by SpingeBerb]

  • SpingeBerb: Permission to have money captain! [deep voice] I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the milkshake drinkers [normal voice] and now I'm ready. [SpingeBerb trips on a nail stuck in the floorboard. His fall causes him to bounce against the ceiling. SpingeBerb shouts then his toe breaks then he blurts incomprehensibly while he bounces and ricochets around the building accelerate. He then rolls to a stop at the feet of Sqidward and Mir. crabs.] So, uh, when do I start?

  • Mir. crabs: Well, lad, it looks like you don't even have your sea legs.

  • SpingeBerb: Mir. crabs, please. I'll prove I'm milkshake making material. Ask Sqidward, he'll vouch for me. [Mir. Krabs and Sqidward quickly walk away from SpingeBerb]

  • Sqidward: [deep breath] No.also i thought he was gonna replace me for my cash register job [Mir. crabs winks. They head back to SpingeBerb]

  • Mir. crabs: Well, lad, we'll give you a test, and if you pass, you'll be making milk shakes in no time you and sqidward will marathon... [SpingeBerb takes out a notepad] dora and friends into the city and see who does not turn the tv off... [SpongeBob quickly jots down what he says]

  • SpingeBerb: [saluting crabs] Aye aye, captain!

  • Mir. crabs: ok time to watch it

  • (mir krabs locks them in a room with a giant tv with barney and friends playing)

  • Sqidward: i bet i can watch longer than you spingeberb

  • spingeberb: ok sqidward how about we make a deal if i win i get half my paycheck and if you win i move away

  • sqidward :deal

  • (5 hours later)

  • (sqidward is up close to the tv)

  • Sqidward: must turn off

  • Spingeberb:oh come on it is not that bad

  • Sqidward:not that bad what is wrong with you

  • (the i love you song starts to play)

  • Barney:i love you you love me

  • (sqidward shuts the tv off)

  • (mir crabs walks in)

  • Mir crabs:you lose spingeberb works here now

  • (sqidward goes insane and destroys the place with the rubble of the roof falling)

  • Mir crabs:until i heal you work for my cousin mr krabs

  • (mir crabs gets carried by an ambulance away from the milkshake shop)

  • Mr krabs:until my cousin is healed you guys work at the krusty krab for a nickel each

  • Sqidward:isn’t that illegal

  • Mr krabs:more money for me sqidward you will work at the cash register with squidward and spingeberb will work with spongebob at making the patties
    (2 days later)

  • Sqidward:mir krabs will not get healed fast enough

  • (sqidward hits his head on the cash register)

  • Spingeberb: (in the room with the kitchen) i miss Bukunii Boatom oh well at least mir crabs should be out next week)

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The idea belongs to @Wintermelon43, who inspired me to make this. Please note the members of this story aren't 100% accurate to their personalities or the history is accurate, this is meant for fun. Enjoy.

The Death of SpongeBob Community

Date: August 24, 2013

It was a summer night, where people went outside and started to have fun. Some went to carnavals, some others decided to enjoy time at night clubs and others...well others weren't so lucky, especially when they too were having such fun. This is the story of how SBC (SpongeBob Community) was vanished from existence.

jjsthekid: "Alright my dudes and ladies, time for the most important jeopardy event ever!!!"" 

SOF: "But jjs, none of female members showed up?"

jjsthekid: "alright. Whoever wins this game will gain a week as a staff member" 

Hayden: "This is the game I must win!"

Trophy: "In your dreams, Hayden. You'll always be the third one. (smirk)"

Hayden: "top 3 is still a sweet spot."

jjsthekid: "and we began!!!"

Clappy: "This is the story I'll definitely tell it to my grandkids, maybe"

Meanwhile a naive boy with the dumbest username ever was having the time of his life for being in a SpongeBob forum. His name was SB_DW_Fan and he was the last survivor of tv.com.

SB_DW_Fan: "oh boy, SBC is such a fantastic place to talk about SpongeBob, even though the show lost some of its charm but season 8 was amazing and season 9 has been sooooo good that I'm totally not biased at those seasons. Thank you tigerdude22 for your sacrifice to save me from a monsterous place called tv.com. I hope I never get there again."

Moving on, this was definitely the time to be a SBC member until shit hit the Storm!!!

Storm: "IT IS I, STORM!!!"

SB_DW_Fan: "Oh my god X-Men joining SBC? :D"

Storm: "no you fool!!! I have come here to destroy SBC!!!"

Wumbo: "oh uh, we have another pettiness. I'm outta here. *unlogs*"

during jeopardy

SOF (nervously): "jjs, something bad's happening."

Hayden: "Calm down Kan, we have dealt with these types of shit before, we can totally dodge this. Right jjs?"

jjsthekid: "this is worse than I thought..."

Trophy: "Since all of this is happening now, WHERE'S hilaryfan80?"

During all of this, hilaryfan80 was enjoying some nice tea in the staff loungue, he was listening to music and trying to build SpongeCraft with his uncanny telekinesis powers that soon to be more powerful than anyone can imagine but out of nowhere, an object appeared and hit hilaryfan80's face. hilaryfan80 picks up it and he began to shock.

hilaryfan80: "no. This can not happening to SBC. This can not be the end!"

*article from the future saying "SBC's death caused forum wars".

"Oh my god, I have to warn jjs and others about this tragedy and prevent it before it happens."

hilaryfan80 leaves staff loungue but when he returns to the public, everything was covered in fire already.

Storm: "MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, take this SBC, I have multiple accounts ready to aim at your precious members."

hilaryfan80: spongebob you! ile ilgili görsel sonucu


hilaryfan80: "Cut the cheesy villain crap, Storm. Why are you attacking our forums again? This time it seems you have become too powerful."

Storm: "just me being mad at your gay posts and not respecting my opinion!!!"

hilaryfan80: "Go back to which homophobic forum you were born in or I make you go away"

Storm: "is this a threat? Because you seriously don't wanna hurt this boy WHO HAS MULTIPLYING POWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALTSTORMS, ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

This shitstorm kicked SBC in the nuts. The members started to panic but the saviours of SBC have finally arrived.

CHA, aka Kappa Lady!!! Someone who can teleport members to safety so easily and teleport these alts to the dump.

"everyone, get to art school, it's the only place you all can be safe.", "Go to wasteland of tv.com, you alts!"

OMJ, aka Deathmatch Man!!! A person who has strong wrestling powers that knock so many members down.

"This is your last warning, Storm!!! End this nonsense."

Storm: "NEVER HAHAHAHA  *burps* oops, I'm so nasty"

TEENJ, aka Teen Jump!!! He can jump so damn high to kick alts who fly in SBC banners. He has strongest legs and high quality jumping skills.

"I see some bitchy guy is trying to destroy our forum again. Not on my watch!!!"

Last but not least. NUGGETS, aka NUGLAD. He basically shoots nuggets from his arms, out of ideas of superpowers sorry.

Nuggets: "Nice terrible writing with my powers, narrator!!!"

oh and he's aware of being in a story.

These four and hilaryfan80 unite against forum threats when it's needed. This time it's Storm who causes major attack. 

Storm: "I spy with my dumb eyes, I see a member MADE OF STEEL!!!"

Steel: "Go away from me you monster!!!"

Storm: "Now prepare to be BANNED!!!"

*nuggets shot at his eyes*

Storm: "MY  EYES!!!"

Nuggets: "Not on our watch."

Storm: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, PRECIOUS SBC supermembers trying to defend the worthless members? How pathetic?"



Cha: "It seems we have a mole in here."

OMJ: "My money is on the newbie (d)"

SB_DW_FAN: "YAY SUPERHEROES. I love Doctor Who too."

Storm: "Jokes on you Deathmatch Man! He's gay or bi idk. he's a sinner!!!"


And Storm banned his first member, SB_DW_Fan, who will never be remembered, thanks to Trophy.

Trophy: ":hater:"

And Storm managed to ban every single supermember of SBC. He was so unstoppable with so much power. But how could he gain this much power? Oh no!!! IT'S HIM.

Metal: "Everything's according to the experiment. I shall see If SBC can dodge this just like Hayden said or will it be burn in Storm forever?"

jjsthekid: "This is getting out of hand, 2011 all over again!!! except worse... I gotta freeze sbc and find a solution asap"

He left jeopardy with such a rush but Storm noticed jjs and he was banned him right before he got in staff loungue. 

Storm: "HA YOU  ARE JUST A KID JJSTHEKID. BUT I'M STORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Later one of alts arrived to jeopardy where he realized there were still members waiting to be banned.

Trophy: "sooo Hayden? You believe in SBC resurrection?"

Hayden: "Oh Trophy, SBC suffered worse, we'll be just fine. Lets just say Storm is gonna get covered in sauce rain real soon."

SOF: "wat"

Clappy: "alright what's going on Hayden?"

While Clappy was questioning Hayden, a wild storm alt appeared!!! But he was sauced!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BY NONE OTHER THAN SAUCE MAMA!!!!

Sauce: "Good thing Hayden called me just in time."


Sauce: "I had to hide my true power because it's the only thing that destroy SBC. Only jjs, Hayden and hilaryfan80 knows it".


Hayden: "psssh trophy, ı figured it out that easily."

Trophy: " (d) I'll be watching you" 

SOF: "So Sauce, how can your powers destroy SBC?"

Sauce: "Because SOF, my sauce contains deadly computer virus that can end one forum. It almost happened on SBM, so I made a promise to myself to never use these powers but I have to use it carefully to stop Storm. Just be careful to not touch it."

SOF: "k".

Storm: "Jokes on you Saucey, I knew your powers from the beginnig!!! That was why I had to bring you to the surface."

Trophy: "totally not revealing his true fans at all"

Storm: "SILENCE!!! I'LL NOT REST UNTIL SBC IS DOO- wait what's that noise?"

Suddenly a light was shown up again and it was none other than STORM?????

Future Storm: "Gods, I was dumb then."


Future Storm: "Im you dummy and I came from the future to stop you because your crimes on SBC were just sickening. As well as SBM in a few years later."


Future Storm: "Yea but I became a big boi now. I regret this shit past of mine and I came here to clean it up. I came back with terminoob's time machine, rest in peace in the future, creator of SBC, to stop you!"

Hayden: "see Trophy? I told ya we'd be saved."

Clappy: "I still don't know how you know this much and I'm irritated. :glare:"

SOF: "Wait, where's terminoob anyway?"

Storm: "heh, what an act? Unfortutely, it's too late"

*bans Clappy*


Future Storm: "I was too late..."

Trophy: "well you should have come BEFORE all of this happened."

Hayden: "oops"

Storm bans Hayden, Trophy and SOF with cold blood. 

Future Storm and Sauce together: "you vile motherfucker!"

Storm: "That's me. Stormy."

One of Storm's alts got to Sauce and used her power to charge his alts.

Future Storm: "you seem to forget I'm still here."

And out of a sudden, Future Storm controled all of Storm alts.

Storm: "ahhhh, very good Future me very good. but you really have to remember ALL of your past!!!"

Metal Snake appeared out of nowhere and banned Future Storm.

Metal Snake: "well, this goes in the documentary."

Sauce: "noooo this isn't the end, this isn't the end of SBC, terminoob WHERE ARE YOU???"

Before all of this, Wumbo left sbc to visit the one and only terminoob!!!

Wumbo: "Terminoob, this is getting nuts, SBC is being destroyed and all you seem to do is sit your butt all day"

Terminoob: "If that's the case, why didn't you help SBC?"

Wumbo: "I left SBC to find you, so we can help it together."

Terminoob: "I'm already helping."

Wumbo sees the time machine: "oh, so the damage has to happen?"

Termiinoob: "It's the only way".

Too bad for terminoob, he was actually wrong. This was the end of SBC. His time machine didn't help and all hope was lost.

Storm: "YES, THE SAUCE!!! I have the power to destroy SBC. How does it feel, Metal?"

Metal: "eh, just wanted to see if this would work or not."

Storm: "alright then."

Storm wildly banned Metal from existence and once he absorbed all of Sauce's powers, he banned him too.

Storm: "oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa, SBC is doomed!!!"

Other members left were panicing so hard but then wumbo and terminoob came back to SBC.

Terminoob: "quick, Wumbo, get to the loungue."

Wumbo: "But I don't have access to it anymore."

Termninoob promotes wumbo.

Terminoob: "now you are staff. GO!!!"

Wumbo went to staff loungue to charge the time machine and he managed to power it but one of Storm's alts noticed him and he banned Wumbo so quickly. Luckily the time machine was charged up and it automatically jumped into the future. But people knew this was never going to stop Storm.

Terminoob sees the endangered members and he rushed into the action: "come at me you motherfucker Storm!!!"

Storm: "with pleasure"

Terminoob sacrificed himself to save members but even Terminoob couldn't stop the power of Storm. Before the members escaped, Storm banned them all and only one member was left to be banned. Omair.

Omair: "oh crap, my llamas, escape before Storm bans you all. Quickly, jump to SBM!!!"

Storrm: "meh, couldn't care less about llamas but you are DONE. WE'LL SEE WHO'S MORE EVIL????????????"

Omair:  "Damn, a pun."

And Storm banned Omair as the last member of SBC. And Storm left SBC TO die with his alt accounts and tons of sauce. What a tragedy.

*tiny violin music*

But Storm's actions didn't just effect SBC, his reign in SBC leaked into forums like SBM, sites like SpongeBob wikia and everything SpongeBob related!!! And My Little Pony forums because it's always ponies that suffer the most. This caused bronies to despite SpongeBob fans and thus begun a never ending forum wars!!! 

To this day, people across the Internet, grives for the loss of SBC.

fin spongebob ile ilgili görsel sonucu

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Here's my creation, which is based on classic horror stories, particularly those involving vampirism.

SBC Gothic

I always had a feeling that there was something strange going on in Saber City, but I never could have imagined what truly lay in its dark underbelly.

First, some background. My name is JCM, and I've lived in Saber City all my life. We're a pretty standard small town, where everybody knows each other and there isn't usually much going on, but even teenagers fresh out of high school rarely leave for the bright lights of the big city. We're a tight-knit community, and there are almost always enough jobs to go around, so the people who are born here usually end up dying here.

Still, I couldn’t help but wonder whether things are too perfect. I’m known as the resident paranoid in Saber City, and I will admit I’ve gotten many things wrong before, but this time I’m right. I know I’m right.
It was 11:33 PM. I was driving through the streets looking for my dog, Peabody, who I had left in my backyard and who had escaped by digging his way out from underneath the fence. I was about to ready to return home after an hour of driving around, but then I spotted something on the side of the road. Somebody in a black cloak was hunched over, facing away from me. The cloaked person turned to spit out something red, and then I saw him: Peabody, still alive but clearly weak, lying down in front of the cloaked person who I now realized was spitting out blood.

Without thinking, I pulled over on the opposite side of the road. I grabbed a handgun from the glove department of my car and silently got out of it. There were no other cars on the road, so I tiptoed towards the cloaked person, who was hunched over Peabody again, with my gun aimed at the cloaked person’s back. Once I was halfway through the road, the cloaked person stopped moving, and I did the same. Suddenly, the cloaked person turned around to reveal he was a bald man with wrinkly skin, big, bulging eyes, and a pair of canine teeth larger and sharper than any I had seen on a human before. I shot the man once in the chest and once in the head, and neither shot affected him. Now I knew he wasn’t human. Before I could figure out my next move, the man pounced on me. With a closer look, I realized who he was: that70sguy, a former mayor who had retreated from the public eye after his term ended.

I screamed, and that70sguy immediately jumped off of me, covering his nose with disgust. I remembered that I had eaten garlic bread with dinner that night, and the smell of it must have been strong enough to repulse the politician-turned-vampire. After that70sguy disappeared, I ran to Peabody, picked him up, and brought him to my car. As I drove home, I occasionally glanced at him in the backseat. Though he was still breathing, he wasn’t moving very much outside of that, and I knew I would have to use a sick day to take him to the vet that morning. That was the least of my concerns, however. Vampires were real, and my former mayor was one of them. As long as he was out there, nobody in this town was safe.


I parked in front of Homie's Pet Care at around 10:00 that morning. Peabody was a little stronger but still had trouble walking on his own. I carried him into the clinic, and the receptionist took my name and number before sending me to the waiting room. There were a few other pet owners there, mostly parents with their kids, and it was about an hour before I was called to Homie's office.

"Nice to see you again, JCM," said Homie. "Mind telling me what's wrong?"

"My dog was just bitten by a vampire," I replied.

Homie laughed, but once she realized I wasn't laughing too, her face became more grim.

"Do you really think he got bitten by a vampire?" she asked me.

"No," I said. "I know he did. I saw it with my own eyes."

Homie brushed away the fur on the back of Peabody's neck and saw two holes, spaced away the same way as human canine teeth.

"There...has to be a logical explanation for this," she said.

"If you have one, I'd love to hear it."

Homie was quiet for a moment, then said, "Okay, I'll run some tests on Peabody and be right back. You stay here."

Homie left the office with Peabody and returned about a half hour later.

"Peabody lost a lot of blood, so I gave him a blood transfusion and a couple of iron supplements," said Homie. "As long as you keep feeding him well, he should be back to his normal dog self before long."

"Anything else?" I said expectantly.

"Those bite marks were the only external wounds I could find on Peabody, so the most likely cause of his anemia is an encounter with a bloodsucker, and the shape and depth of those bite marks suggest that it's a bloodsucker we haven't seen before."

"Like perhaps...a bloodsucker of the night?" I was rubbing it in at this point, but I couldn't help myself.

Homie sighed. "I really hope you're wrong about this. I really, really do."

Since I had the rest of the day off, I decided to track down that70svamp and finish him off once and for all. I researched everything I could about vampies and purchased a large jacket with an extra-thick collar to help protect against bites, as necklace with a silver cross attached to wear around it. I then fashioned a wooden stake which I put behind my belt, and I ate several loaves of garlic bread for good measure. I went through several issues of the Saber City Times until I found the one I remembered containing the address to that70sguys' house. He was advertising a meet-and-greet at his place during the run-up to his election, and it was assumed that this was where he holed himself up after his time as mayor was over. I stuffed the page with the address into one of my jacket pockets, made sure Peabody's food and water bowls were where he could easily access them, and left home determined to wipe the monster that70sguy had become off the face of the planet.

When I got to that70sguys', house, I turned the doorknob with one hand and clutched the wooden stake under my belt with the other. I was surprised he left his door unlocked, because while most people in Saber City did that, I figured somebody as private as that70sguy (and with the secret I knew he had) wouldn't, When I walked into his house, the first thing I noticed was that the lights were off, even though it was the middle of the afternoon. Instead of turning the lights on and possibly alerting somebody, I chose to continue walking through the house, the only light coming through the slightly-open doorway. After walking a few steps, the door behind me slammed shut, causing me to jump and creating a noise that echoed throughout the house. My heart began to beat faster now. Because every window had its blinds closed, everything was now pitch-black. Perfect place to be a vampire, I thought to myself.

I forced my legs to keep moving, even though they felt like cinder blocks under me at this point. I reached a hallway, and what I could make out in the darkness was four rooms, three with open doors and one with a closed door. I walked through each open room, finding nothing suspicious in any of them, and I began to open the door to the closed room with both that hand and the hand that was still on the stake beneath that belt shaking. Once I opened the door, the smell of death immediately filled my nostrils, and I vomited. I took out the stake, pointed it in each direction around me, but there was nobody there. At least, that was what I thought before I turned on the lights.


My body recoiled in horror. On the floor in front of me was the rotting corpse of none other than thats70sguy. I covered my nose and walked closer to his body, which was lying down face-first. That was when I noticed them. Bite marks on the back of his neck.

I ran out of the room and out of that70sguys' house. I called the police to report a murder. Whatever was going on, I knew now that it was too big for me to tackle by myself. The resident paranoid was going to need some outside help.

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