President Squidward

Made a new About Me page if people still read those.  

call me crazy...but...

Squidward...

and Moxy and Flea.

ITS PERFECT

Hey man I was wondering how you feel about this song from Plaid. It's called "Sömnl" and it's from 2011. I think its a nice track though not my favorite from them.

You hear that newton? YOU'RE NOT WANTED IN SPONGEBOB'S WORLD!!

I've concluded that Kyle McCulloch and Jack Pendarvis might be my least favorite writers of the series.

It's weird how EVERY EPISODE they wrote, they just had to ruin Squidward's character by making him do weird acts or make him act zanier. I thought Skill Crane was just a one-off thing, but when Post-Sequel came out, I realized it was a SIGN, and I think it made me lose my entertainment of Skill Crane a bit.

Weird how an Adventure Time writer can just suddenly change style with SpongeBob and just make it wacky as hell and not have some ground to it, or at least make all the characters grounded. Lost in Bikini Bottom, Tutor Sauce, both awful episodes.

And then, let's talk about Kyle McCulloch, besides Skill Crane, he unleashes Squidward's awful zanier side that should NEVER ever be engrained as a high percentage of his character, I haven't seen Sold! and The Whole Tooth,  but I've heard and seen some perculiar things about Squidward in there, and I am afraid to come across them when I do... BUT, HE wrote Patrick! The Game. One of the most disgusting, painful episodes to ever EXPERIENCE with Squidward. Truly awful characterization for everyone involved in there, including Squidward. Shame. Fuck that episode.

Now, let's talk about the TWO TOGETHER, writing some of my most despised episodes or moments of Squidward, such as Company Picnic (which I kind of seen and witnessed the horrors of OC Squidward in there, sucking on pens like a deranged lunatic Ren and Stimpy character) or THE FISHBOWL, which I had in my worst list last year but never watched really, BUT SQUIDWARDS CHARACTERIZATION in there alone, CHASING ice cream for no fucking reason, and then being tested by Sandy, SpongeBob and Patrick like a psychopath in a mental institution just seems painful. I fuckin hate it.

Squid Plus One I USED to like back when I first saw it, but now I realize Squidward felt unusual as hell in that episode, just in a more played down level, but still felt overly stressed and angry, and then takes a mirror of himself with him to the concert. He's egotistical, but not to a weird level like that. At least get his personality right and not take it up to 11.

It makes me not want these two (or hell, anybody in this era, looking at you Kaz...) nowhere near this character.

I'm sure these people are nice, cool people in real life. Don't worry, I'm not mad at them, I'm just not a fan of the writing and I know they can do better than that. Maybe one day I can work for something SpongeBob related and they can write Squidward better if the show has a slower pace in tone and was actually entertaining and not depressing to see everyone just be a train wreck to look at all the time.

best icarly character

How long can I do this?

I've gained 13 pounds in the past month.

should I be concerned 

CAN WE PLEASE MAKE POST A RANDOM IMAGE A MORE USED TOPIC

I miss posting stupid memes and getting and giving points and since SBM is ruined now, I still would love to do the same with SBC's version.

When you have a school meeting and it takes you an hour and a half to sleep because your OCD thoughts kept you up and you were scared to fall asleep much earlier because of that reason and you only had like 2-3 hours of sleep

bruh

I SIP LEAN IN MY CLASSROOM

CAMERA PHONE

I hate being sick. Almost made it with a sick-free Winter, though I kind of made it since its March but it ain't the 21st yet.

also fell asleep at 11:30, woke up at 4:30, stayed up for an hour, fell asleep around 6:00 and woke up at 2:50. Joy.

ryan loves it and he likes mmlp too so he's all sonning me now with this 'well ethan yes perhaps i'd allow you to give the marshall mathers lp a 10.0, i mean that particular record was perfect, but not this one' yeah well you were busy talking about at the motherfucking drive in back then so let me redeem your godawful site now. jeez unless he went back on his dumb-ass 'policy' theres a nine dot one up there but i promise you 'the eminem show' is really a ten, know that

oh my darling eminem! how i love you marshall, spittin shiny massive magnetic acrostics to fit the thrillest rhyme style ever invented (ugh yeah i'm trying not to explain his quote unquote flow in those meaningless autechre words like architectural and labyrinthine but SHIT) but yeah although em's lyrics arent usually quotably evocative for rock reviews like wu or jay here i'm not even going to try, you have to hear him spit at it live or on record

that said he's playing the same old marshall vs shady real-or-fake game as usual (stage-y red curtain album cover referencing 'smarmy' faux-soul masterpiece lexicon of love!?!) and its as interesting and complex as it ever was but that wasnt what i came to the shady table for in the first place and you know all about it anyway from spin so lets pretend not to care

instead

let me tell a story

this one time i was listening to eminem, and

haha no

he's complicated you know

eminem i mean

but no no no this is more than usual like he pukes up the nastiest song about mother mathers ever but loves hailie lots and meanwhile metamorphasizes into a grown-ass woman 'on the rag and ovulating' making us listen to queen and aerosmith and and AND THEN him and dre have been 'fucking with hats off' all along!! (after this ahem revelation dre deadpans 'suck it, marshall')

uh

in a normal pfork review there would be some more bullshit here all like 'ha ha he makes fun of that stupid trl but he's on it!!' or like 'his rapping style is a direct copy of gab from blackalicious' like yeah dude timbaland is biting aphex twins white ass too haha i dunno fuck it here are some more bullshit things about the actual record like right on schedule pfork review style

ahem

track one

white america

after a tender orchestral prelude (lexicon of love again) these like big silver jets fly overhead and lame linkin park riffs rev up and eminem 'finally' addresses the race issue telling us a bunch of shit we already knew about in his labored 'the way i am' style (with only a marginally better chorus than that grr)

haha later he gets crunk and actually says 'whodi' on the bounciriffic everlast-dreams-about-the-big-tymers 'superman'!! (fake southern accents are the new black italiano you know)

also on hailies song he sings and its not great but like better than mos def

first in a series - people your fake indie ass will mention in a lame rock critic attempt to legitimize eminem: screamin' jay hawkins

'business' is cartoon-beat chase scene batman & robin like all the early singles but this time he's actually talking about batman and robin!! (a running theme of the entire record for some wonderful reason)

i adore the plasticky genital mutilation pornography and hilarious cronenberg AIDS horrors of 'drips' and anxiously await the obie trice record

but more than that i love hailie jade on 'my dad's gone crazy' which is like this saccharine-sweetened lemon incest gone faggy (eminem may have finally torn down the old gangsta wont-touches of mama and jesus off the wall to beat the shit out them both but dude still loves his baby girl!)

and the sleazy disco of 'without me'

'the press' wet dream like bobby and whitney'!

'cleaning out my closet' takes the childhood hell of 'all i've got is you' and turns all that emotional vunerability into righteous articulated fury at his 'goin though public housin systems, victim of munchausens syndrome'(!!) mama.

hey

a thought

eminem is gay

proof:

the him fucking dre thing

dyeing your hair and wearing earrings thing from the aerosmith song

or hailie being 'the only lady he adores'

sleazy disco

little eric and erica

dre is batman and he's the burt ward robin

etc

okay at this point i'm just gonna put in shit to see if ryan will really not edit this like he said so like if you're reading this sentence then wow i really got an unedited review on pfork

haha i bet he cuts my columbine refs

uh in conclusion....

Ryanpitch4k : ethan, i'm gonna edit it anyway, you're lucky i'm gonna go over it with you
et HAN P2 3 : lets not be some fucking review factory ryan
Ryanpitch4k : ethan you know as well as i do that it IS a factory, which is why it gets no respect from industry/"real" journalists

but later...

Ryanpitch4k : what? ok, i'm an indie pussy. i consider the music i listen to "above" and "better than" pop music. that's MY opinion

and then....

Ryanpitch4k : look, ethan, you know what? i just have a feeling we're not going to agree about this. i think it's fine for us to not agree, but i don't think you would like changes i would want to make. you're really incredibly high-maintenence as reviewers go, and i'm not completely sure it's even worth it

and yes finally....

Ryanpitch4k : ethan you act like i don't know what you're capable of
et HAN P2 3 : but what would be the worst that could happen
et HAN P2 3 : what am i capable of??
Ryanpitch4k : you'll get away with anything you can
Ryanpitch4k : the more you get away with the happier you are

eminem is great!!

you're my favorite customer

Urban me from spongebuddy mania

Pick it up, Tony.

I NEVER HAD FRIED CHICKEN IN MY LIFE

LA-DI-DA-DI I'M GOING HARDER THAN COMING OUT THE CLOSET TO CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN FATHERS

I wish movie theaters would let you just buy their damn food without having to pay to see a movie, because my OCD was bad earlier and didn't want to risk choking due to feeling nervous I barely ate the popcorn and now I'm sad and wished I had more of it.

at least the hot dog was delicious. Interesting to see amc have freestyle machines

ITS A BEAUTY PAGEANT NOT A BOOBIE PAGEANT

Apparently Buckley is a fan of Poppy, since he follows her on twitter.

im honestly surprised.

If you put googly eyes on both of your hands, and then put your hands in your pockets, does that mean you’re suffocating Oobi and Kako?