The Darkstar Bunch

[So Sejima]

ok when do I come in with a hockey stick making sure ACS does commands?

[Aya♥]

ok when do I come in with a hockey stick making sure ACS does commands?

The hockey chapter

[Aya♥]

Chapter 19: Going Canadian

 

"All that I've worked for...ruined."  ACS held the broken Flight Simulator disc in his hand.  A single tear fell from his face onto the shattered CD.  ACS sat at a park bench in Central Park, watching the kids play, and the birds sing.  He stood up and placed the disc into a small hole he had dug in the ground.  "Rest in peace, comrade."  he stuck his hand to his head in salute, and buried his favorite game.  "There went my last glimmer of hope, down the drain...in the dirt."  Allen took his seat on the park bench, and curled up in a ball.  He started sobbing, and gathered some attention from a passing by couple.  "Aw look dear, this poor child doesn't looks so good."  the woman said.  "Don't be getting any ideas Helen."  the man said, tugging her away.  "But he's so poor and miserable Dan, we can't just leave him here."  she said.  "Oh no, we are not taking him to our orphanage, it's full as it is."  he said, starting to walk off, but his wife stayed back, and sat next to the dirty homeless loser.  "Come on dear, don't even worry about him."  Dan said, trying to get her off the park bench.  "I'm not leaving until we take this boy home with us."  Helen said, patting ACS's back.  Dan let out a huge sigh, and finally made up his mind, "You're paying his medical bills."  Dan said, helping Allen out of his curled position.  "Come along son, we're going home."

 

2 months later

 

"Good morning Allen."  ACS woke up in his nice, fluffy, bed to the sound of his new foster mother calling him to breakfast.  "Coming Mother!"  ACS ran down stairs to join up with his mother and father at the dining table.  "Hello son."  his father said, giving him a hug.  "Good morning father!"  "So Allen, we've been talking, and I think it's time we enrolled you in a sport."  his father said.  Allen gave a little sigh and sat down.  "Come on Allen, you need the exercise and social experience, you barley leave your room, and you don't have friends."  his mother said.  "Ah, well I guess I could try, what's the sport?"  he asked.  "Hockey!"  his father said, presenting him with hockey gear.

 

The Next Week

 

"Let's go honey!  Show em what you're made of!"  Allen's mom screamed from the audience.  It was a small hockey rink in the middle of Calgary.  There were only a small collection of people in the audience, all parents of the little league players.  ACS was playing the forward position, and the person apposing him looked larger than most of the players on the team.  ACS did manage to catch his name, Trophy.  ACS called over to him, "You've got an odd name fella."  ACS said.  Before the referee even blew the whistle, Trophy started to skate over the ACS, and cracked him in the jaw with his stick.  ACS fell to the ground hard, causing him to crack the back of his head open on the ice, staining it with blood.  Trophy threw his gloves off and started to punch him repeatedly in the face, one fist after another.  The ref quickly got over to pull Trophy off, but the damage was done, ACS was left with broken nose, and some of his teeth scattered the playing field.  "My Baby!"  Allen's mother screamed as she fainted.  "Don't ever come to my yard again eh."  Trophy said, skating to the penalty box

[So Sejima]

that's what he gets for calling me odd eh

[Old Man Jenkins]

[So Sejima]

if he comes to my yard again he'll regret it.*cracks knuckles*

[Aya♥]

Intervention: Deportation

"Are you there parents of a Mr. Allen James?"  a large man asked, as ACS's mother opened the door.  "We have reports that your child was smuggled over into Canada illegally, along with 20 different children."  he said, flipping through a folder he was carrying.  "Oh dear, this is terrible, and to think we just adopted him, don'tcha know?"  she said, going back into the house.  "Stupid Canadians."  the man said to himself.  "You can't do this to me mother!"  ACS protested.  "No buts mister, off to America where you belong."  she said, kicking him out of the house, literally.  "And to think I loved you mother."  he said, walking to the man's windowless van.  Allen hopped into the back of the van, and was greeted by 4 dead corpses laying up on the walls of the van.   ACS panicked, and went for the handle, but when he turned it, the door did not budge.  The large man from earlier got into the driver seat, and started up the van.  "Dumbass parents."  the man said, driving away.  "Who are you sir?"  ACS asked, shivering.  "The name's Omair, and I'm taking you on the ride of your life."  he shifted his van into maximum ogredrive, and they went so fast, that it broke the speedometer.  "OH FUCK!" the both screamed, as Omair had drove his van off the side of a cliff

[Old Man Jenkins]

Needs more llamas

[So Sejima]

WHERE ARE HIS LLAMAS? Great chapter but wheres his CUTE LOL, SquilliamxSquidward and his llamas?

[Macseed]

Oh no ACS is being treated well D:

[Aya♥]

Oh no ACS is being treated well D:

>implying his is about to get raped and killed in the next chapter

[Jjs Goodman]

I have only one criticism: Where's SOF? You can't do a Canada parody without SOF.

[Aya♥]

I have only one criticism: Where's SOF? You can't do a Canada parody without SOF.

Rats

[So Sejima]

or Wumbo.

[Aya♥]

Chapter 20: The Unfortunate Life Of Allen James

"Where am I..."  ACS began to stir awake after he was flung off a cliff by his kidnapper.  "I can't feel my legs..."  he stared down at where his legs used to be, to find nothing but torn up pants legs, and dried blood.  He tried holding back his vomit, but couldn't resist, and proceeded to eject his vile all over his Plane's Movie T-Shirt.  He looked over at the driver seat and saw Omair, dead, his face imprinted into the steering wheel, and shard of glass sticking out of his neck.  ACS tried to muster up enough strength to muscle his way to the passenger seat, and managed to do it.  He broke the window using Omair's llama statue he had on the rear-view mirror.  He climbed out onto broken glass and sharp rocks, jutting out of the ground.  He landed with a thud, since the car was right side up.  "I've got to...call for help."  he reached to where his pocket should be to get his phone, but without pockets, there was no phone.  "How did I even lose my legs?"  James though, lifting up his nubs.  He also noticed, that they had been somewhat bandaged and healed.  "Looking for these?"  he turned his head to see Aya standing there with Jenkman, holding his legs.  "Why the hell did you cut my legs off?"  he demanded to know. "So you don't run away."  she walked up to his stumped body and squated down next to him.  "Why did you kill my client?"  she asked.  "What?"  ACS was starting to get confused.  "My client who was supposed to take you back to Mexico so I could finish you off, Omair."  she said.  "Look lady, I didn't kill anybody, he killed himself!"  ACS said.  "Listen lard face, I don't believe a single thing you say, you are a lying scumbag with no life who just wants attention and makes up fake tales and fake friends to just keep yourself and no one else company.  You're a loser, plain and simple.  A nobody, a leech, and person who should have ever been born, that's who you are Allen.  You have no reason to be put on this Earth, other than to play Flight simulators and have no since of humor.  And do you want to know why I was put on this Earth ACS?  To rid it of people like you."  Aya reached into her pocket and pulled out a 9mm pistol, and pressed it against his head.  "Goodbye Allen James,"  she pulled the trigger, sending a single bullet into his brain, killing him instantly, "And good riddance."  

[Old Man Jenkins]

They can rebuild him, they have the simulators.

[So Sejima]

so is this over or somehow still alive? well great work like always

[Aya♥]

Epilogue: Don't You (Forget About Me)

"We are gathered here today to "mourn" the loss of Sir Allen "ACS" James."  Nuggets straightened his tie, as he started his speech for Prince Darkstar's funeral.  The entire SBC Community were aligned in seats in front of the podium and ACS's casket.  "Today we lay to rest Allen James in the Takin Out The Trash Cemetery in great memory and thought,"  Nuggets paused for a second, to switch his que cards, "Now let us all join in prayer."  Nuggets bowed his head down, as all the other members, except one.  "Why the fuck are we praying for this no good, lying, son of a bitch that probably went to hell anyway?"  Aya stood up in the front row.  "Who here even liked this bastard?"  nobody rose their hand.  "Exactly."  she started to make her way to the podium.  "Nuggets, have a seat."  Nuggets went to sit where she once sat.  "Look, I'm sure you all know this fucker was murdered, right?  Well, that was me.  I killed him.  One shot to the head.  You know why?  One day, he just thought it would be a good fucking idea to step into my domain.  Nobody steps in my fucking domain and lives.  One reason that set me off was his multiple personalities, is the kid fucking lonely?  Does he have father issues?  Who gives a shit?  No one.  He's a fucking loser that didn't even deserve to live in the first place.  Did he find it funny every time he said "Your Face?"  Of course.  You wanna know who else found it funny?  Nobody, because he doesn't have any friends, no one in his life, hell, he probably would have died a virgin, oh wait, he fucking did.  Why did he "join" Anonymous and threatened to "Take down SBC"?  No one cares, and no one knows.  He is a miserable accuse of a human being and should not even be recognized for doing anything magnificent or meaningful in his life.  Fuck him, all he was was a attention wanting douchebag that no one will miss.  Fuck him."  Aya walked over and tipped his casket over and grabbed a shovel.  She tossed it to Clappy.  "Start burying, I've got a book to write."

[Old Man Jenkins]

Spinny-worthy performance

[Aya♥]

Spinny-worthy performance

-bows- thank you, thank you