Popular Post Joe Biden Posted January 7, 2016 Popular Post Share Posted January 7, 2016 Cast PatBack as PatBack Bl4ze as Captain Bl4ze WhaleBlubber as WhaleBlubbie Jjsthekid as Peppermint Jjs hilaryfan80 as Mr. Doctor Barber JCM as Forum Hag Teamwork as Sally Stancakes Wumbo as Eight Armed Wumbo Mermaid Magic as Miss Mermaid Magic, the teacher The other members as sailors/background characters Captain Bl4ze: Psst, PatBack. Hey, PatBack! Come with me! We’re gonna troll a place called SBC! WhaleBlubbie: Who needs SpongeBob Community? It’s safer on TV.com! Bl4ze: But that place is empty and there ain’t people to piss off! WhaleBlubbie: It’s dangerous and complicated… Bl4ze: But we’ll make the members agitated! PatBack: Being an asshole’s the life for me! Bl4ze: We’ll cause mayhem and find pussy! WhaleBlubber: Eh, sounds pretty lame to me. The miiiiiiisadventures of… PatBack: PatBaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Created by Throw Up van Rechid Coming soon to SBCN Guest writes are welcome too. 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 YES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Joe Biden Posted January 12, 2016 Author Popular Post Share Posted January 12, 2016 The Marvelous Misadventures of Patback 1a. Several Assholes Below the Forums One night in StormAllen-long Harbor, Captain Bl4ze, Patback, and WhaleBlubbie were sitting around discussing their next plan to troll/take over SBC. Patback: I have an idea! Why don’t I pretend to get angry at the site for someone calling me an 8 year old? Bl4ze: Nah, that’ll never work. Hey, I have an idea! Let’s just hack into Peppermint Jjs’ account, ban everyone, and make me, Patback, and WhaleBlubbie Managers! WhaleBlubbie: You two are fools. Why don’t we just do what I did with TV.com and convince the admin to ban everyone? Patback: Ehhhh, I kinda like Bl4ze’s idea better. Bl4ze: Yeah, me too. Patback: But let’s face it! No matter what we do, we’re the best assholes on the site! WhaleBlubbie: Now honey, I don’t think you should be saying stuff around the forums. What if someone gets jealous and challenges us to a competition? Bl4ze: That’ll never happen! Will it? Just then, the three get a PM in bottle from a mysterious stranger. “Dear Patback, Bl4ze, and WhaleBlubbie, You think you’re the biggest assholes on SBC? Come meet me on my forums and I’ll show you who’s the baddest. From: Anonymous” Patback: Who is this “Anonymous” guy? Sounds fancy. Bl4ze: I guess we’ll have to find out. So the three head down to ______ Forums to meet the mysterious man. Patback: Wow, whoever this guy is, he must be really obsessed with planes and rock music! Bl4ze: Yeah, and I think I know who…. ???: Greetings. ???: I am the infamous ACSBehemothHellcat, also known as “Hawkbit” on SBC. Patback: Wait, “Hawkbit”? The same Hawkbit who was part of a group called Team Rage that almost hacked the site due to OMJ using your face in his lits? ACS: (beat) Yes. THAT Hawkbit. Anyways, my henchmen got word that you guys were the biggest assholes on SBC. Just for that, we’re gonna challenge you to a race. Bl4ze: A race?! What race? ACS: Well, it’s not really a race, but more of a competition to see who can make it to SBC and get banned/suspended the fastest. You guys said you were the biggest assholes on SBC and now I’m here to prove you wrong. Bl4ze: And how, pray tell, are you going to do that? ACS: I have a battalion of plane loving cronies to help me take down the site. We even have a master at hacking who goes by the name SantiXgoIV. So do you accept my challenge or not? Bl4ze: Alright, you’re on! Patback: What have we done?! We can’t possibly out-asshole Hawkbit! What are we gonna do? Bl4ze: The things we were born to do! Let’s just combine our plans together and plan the ultimate troll attack. Patback, you’ll make a topic where you pretend to be angry at the site and distract the staff members. I’ll try to sneak into Peppermint Jjs’ account and ban some of the Retired Employees. WhaleBlubbie, you will attempt to convince the staff members to ban/suspend everyone on the site. Finally, I’ll reveal to the staff that it was me who hacked into Jjs’ account and framed More_Spandy for it. I’ll even mention that you guys had a hand in it. Patback: Sounds a bit complicated, but I’m up for that! WhaleBlubbie: You know, none of this wouldn’t have happened if you guys didn’t brag about us being the biggest assholes on StormAllen-long Harbor. Patback decides to distract the whole forums along with the staff members by making a controversial topic. Patback: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS I’M DONE WITH THIS FORUM AND ALL OF ITS SMELLY STAFF MEMBERS INCLUDING PEPPERMINT JJASS AND FORUM HAG GAYCM FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU GO DIE IN A MARCHING ACCIDENT AND THEN I’LL BE HAPPY! Bl4ze: Well done, Patback. I really like what you did with jjs and Forum Hag’s names. I should use those names one day… Anyway, come help me hack into jjs’ account while they’re distracted by that topic. Patback and Bl4ze sneak into the Doubloon Shop and attempt to unlock jjs’ account. Patback: Hmm… Now what would be a password that sounds like something jjs would have? Bl4ze: I know! I know what his password is! The password to his account is— Announcer: We interrupt your scheduled program to remind you about the American premiere of “Total Cartoon Island”! If you live in Canada, you’ve probably seen it before and know who gets voted off first, but you lucky Americans will finally get to see its premiere up next on SBCN! We now return to your scheduled program. Patback: Wow! I can’t believe you figured out his password that easy! Bl4ze: Eh, it was just a lucky guess. Now let’s go ban people. Patback: You know, Cap’n, I wonder how ACS and his cronies are doing. Meanwhile, at the Team Rage base… ACS: I have an idea! Let’s send a letter to the admin and attempt to hack the site over my appearance in SBC Falls! Felix: Wait, isn’t that the same thing we did last time with Community Deathmatch? ACS: Yes, but this time, it’ll be an IP ban. The worst kind of bans. Let me just write a lengthy letter to the admin first. This may take a while. Felix: Alright sir, but I should warn you that those three hooligans are almost on their way to getting banned. Bl4ze: All right, now that I’ve successfully demoted all the staff members and banned all the members except us, it’s time to make you both admins. Patback: There’s just one thing I don’t get. If we can hack into jjs’ account, couldn’t we just ban us there? Bl4ze: He said “no cheating”. Plus, it’s too easy and not very exciting. Now it’s time for us to do our part. Bl4ze creates a topic on SBC announcing that he has destroyed SBC and banished every member there. Just then, Peppermint Jjs finds out their plan from WhaleBlubbie and catches the three red-handed. Peppermint Jjs: Just what the hell are you guys doing? I just got an alert from the Dock Hag that you guys hacked into my account and banned almost everyone there! Bl4ze: Yep, we did that! Jjs: Just for that, I’m banishing you all to StormAllen-long Harbor! Bl4ze: That’s great, but before we go, can I just send one private message in a bottle? At Team Rage HQ…. ACS: Alright, I finally finished my lengthy letter to Jjs. Now time for me to—huh? What’s this? A PM from Bl4ze? Let me see what it says… Bl4ze’s Message: Ha ha, I got banned first, you sucker! Love, Captain Bl4zeTheMainGamer. ACS: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! WhaleBlubbie: Well, I hope you learned an important lesson in this, Patback. Patback: I sure did! No more bragging about being the biggest asshole on SBC ever again! Then, the infamous StormAllenBryat walks up to the three StormAllenBryat: So you think you can best me in Most Annoying? Think again. 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cha Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 (edited) PEPPERMINT JJASS AND FORUM HAG GAYCM FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU GO DIE IN A MARCHING ACCIDENT oh my god Edited January 13, 2016 by Cha 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatBack Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 copyright infringement 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minty Car Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 Guest written at the overlord request of @Fred Rechid's robotic alter ego, Bender bending Rodriguez! Hopefully it lives up the bar set by the first episode. 1b. Eye Sea your IP One morning in the makeshift hut of WhaleBlubbie's insides (), Captain Bl4ze was awakening as a hungover mess to his young cohort, PatBack. PatBack: Time for some wacky ass hacking! Just as you said last night! Bl4ze just opens his eyes abruptly like: before refocusing and looking back up up at the boy. Bl4ze: Err, I said a lot of dumb shit last night! PatBack: You said that too! See! PatBack then shows a cheaply made diary with a picture of Captain Bl4ze saying "dumb shit!" Captain Bl4ze was profoundly annoyed, but realized the brat wasn't going away, so he decided to make up an "adventure." Bl4ze: Err, yeah! We're gonna go... up to the store and trade in my old hard drives for new ones! PatBack's face sunk into his eye bags to showcase disappointment at the lack of excitement in this "adventure." PatBack: Hey, maybe afterwards the three of us can go raid those SBC brats again! WhaleBlubbie: Oh no no no, I'm done with those kids. Back to TV.com for me! Bl4ze: Err, you dumb hag! HagCM (cameo): No that's me! After dropping his wares at the crudely looking "update" stand, right next to SBC on the harbor, Captain Bl4ze stood in front it menacingly blankly for a moment before PatBack broke the silence. PatBack: Captain, how does this work? Bl4ze: I don't know! I've never updated before. PatBack: Ok, this is kinda boring so I'm gonna go see what WhaleBlubbie is up to when we're not around! PatBack then spends several hours spying on WhaleBlubbie just sitting pointlessly, driving PatBack to chronicle his growing insanity at the fact that HE'S DOING NOTHING over it and over again. Finally Captain Bl4zeit rolls into the scene. Bl4ze: I went to the bathroom and when I got back to the stand, they were all gone so here I am. How's this spying business? PatBack: HE'S DOING NOTHING AND IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE! Captain Bl4ze then throws his joint at WhaleBlubbie, causing it to catch fire to the horror of PatBack. Bl4ze: Now now, realize that whale's don't catch fire that easily. It's obviously a decoy! WhaleBlubbie is hiding something from us! ------ The scene then shifts to under the harbor, where WhaleBlubbie is looking into a gap in the IP address boards to see Peppermint Jjs' ACP powers and account. Awkwardly, the two look in along secretly on another hole in the same board line to see Peppermint Jjs and his wife. Peppermint Jjs: I'm sorry Candy Mandy! All I did was look at Gingerbread Cha, and not in that way! Candy Mandy: ... ... Peppermint Jjs: No not in that way! I don't like her, no no no... WhaleBlubbie: Heh heh heh, you gonna get it now Peppermint Jjsthebitch! Bl4ze and PatBack (unison): WHALEBLUBBIE! WhaleBlubbie: Oh crap... PatBack:You said you were done with SBCers! WhaleBlubbie: IT WAS JUST THIS ONE TIME I SWEAR! I WANTED TO SEE PEPPERMINT JJS GET RAGGED ON BY HIS HIS WIFE BECAUSE I KNEW IT WAS COMING! PatBack: Why didn't you just invite us too? We like spying on them! WhaleBlubbie: Because I thought you two would shame me since I said I was done with SBC! I swear this is the one time. Disgruntled, but satisfied, the two let him go without anymore whining. However all the SBC talk stirred them up, so they put on masks and snuck into SBC. Peppermint Jjs: What can I offer you two travelers err... Bl4ze: SpongeRabert. PatBack: No I don't Want to Be Friends! Peppermint Jjs was distracted however by the stalking onlooking of Candy Mandy, so the two just stuck as many doubloons as they could into their cups and were satisfied with their looting when they realized, under the boards below, someone was watching! PatBack: WHALEBLUBBIE! The two then went back to the docks and confronted him. PatBack: WhaleBlubbie, why!!??! WhaleBlubbie: I'm sorry! I didn't want to admit the TV.com days were over! Those were... my glory years... I haven't been the same since then and I fear I never will be again. Bl4ze: Well you certainly won't be if you stay there and hide from us. All three of us have to work together to troll their asses off and start a new golden age! All three (unison): To trolling their asses off! PatBack: Say, whatever happened to Peppermint Jjs and his wife anyhow? ------------ The scene then shifts to Peppermint Jjs having a hallucinogenic nightmare as unfitting music plays off of Captain Bl4ze's old hardware, now owned by Candy Mandy. Peppermint Jjs: YOU KNOW... I DON'T LIKE.... PICK... LE... Candy Mandy: ... ... 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 Good guest write. I liked the parts with Peppermint Jjs and Candy Mandy the best. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Biden Posted April 5, 2016 Author Share Posted April 5, 2016 It's about time I get back to writing these episodes. It's not much of a writer's block but I'm just too busy with school and all. Since I can't really get any sleep right now, I can get the opportunity to write an episode again. 2a. Bl4zikid It was just another normal day in Stormallen-long Harbor and PatBack and Bl4ze were playing SBC Poker with sailors Trophy and Hayden. Bl4ze: Wager time, boys. What do you have to offer? Trophy: I'm going to wager 2000 of my Doubloons. Hayden: And I'll wager my apprentice. Bl4ze: You have an apprentice? Hayden: Yep. His name is Bl4zikid. Bl4ze: Bl4zikid? That name sounds too much like mine. Hayden: I didn't name him after you, dumb shit. I named him after Blaziken from Pokemon. Bl4ze: Well, couldn't you just name him Bl4zi-Ken? You know, the shortened version of "Kenny"? Hayden: I'm not ripping off Pokemon, dammit. Anyway, we're getting off-topic here. Bl4zikid! Come out and meet Bl4ze. Bl4zikid walks out from the shadow. Bl4zikid: Hello there. You must be that Bl4ze guy I keep hearing about. You do realize that if you win, I'll be your new apprentice? Bl4ze: I understand that. Which is why I'll be wagering my apprentice, PatBack. PatBack: What?! Hayden: Alright, you're on! PatBack: Captain, what are you doing? Bl4ze: Shhhhh. Don't worry, I'm going to win. Remember that time I played SBC Poker with Storm? (cutaway) Bl4ze: Yes! I win again, Storm! Storm: dammit you are a son of a botch and you can suck my dick Bl4ze: Nah man, I'm straight. I don't suck dick. (cutaway ends) PatBack: But don't you realize that if you either win or lose, I'll be replaced? Bl4ze: Oh crap, you're right! I wasn't thinking straight. Now I'm gonna lose you for sure! Hayden: Bl4ze, just go already. You are wasting precious time. Bl4ze: (stuttering) All in. Trophy: Well, looks like I have a crap hand. Hayden: Ha! I have two of a kind! Bl4ze: And I.........have a full house. Hayden: Well, it looks like you win fair and square. Bl4zikid is your new apprentice. Bl4zikid: So, Captain Bl4ze, what do you say we wreak havoc all over SBC? Bl4ze: That, uh, sounds great, Bl4zikid! (to PatBack) Sorry about this, lad. I'll try to do something about this. PatBack meets with WhaleBlubber and goes to him for advice. PatBack: (sighs) I don't think Bl4ze even likes me anymore. It seems like he likes Bl4zikid more than me. WhaleBlubber: Well, you know what I think you should do? You should find a more mature role model. What about him? WhaleBlubber points to terminoob. Singing voice: A mature SBC member! PatBack: Nah, I don't think he's right for me. What about.........him? PatBack points to yellowshadow. Singing voice: An actual troll! PatBack: I'm gonna go talk to him right now. PatBack walks over to yellowshadow and speaks to him. PatBack: Excuse me, sir? This may sound a bit forward, but can I be your apprentice? Yellowshadow: Sure! Just let me zip out of this costume. PatBack: Costume? Terminoob unzips his costume. Terminoob: Yep, it's a costume. Me and yellowshadow were both dressed up as each other at a convention. Yellowshadow unzips his terminoob costume and goes out to troll SBC. PatBack: (sighs) I really think this is gonna be a bad idea. Meanwhile, Bl4zikid and Bl4ze are still out wreaking havoc everywhere on SBC. Bl4ze starts to become tired of his antics. Bl4ze: Bl4zikid, I'm really tired. Can't we just take a break or something? Bl4zikid: No way! We're just getting started! Let's fill up the spin-off/lit section with spammy spin-offs and literatures! Bl4ze: You know, I'm starting to realize why Hayden wagered you in SBC Poker. You are a very unruly and tiring kid. I was hoping that you would be a cool apprentice, but I'm not having any fun with you. I'm sorry, but I can't be your apprentice anymore. Go back to Hayden. Bl4zikid: Whatever! I always knew you would be lame anyways! Bl4zikid walks away from Bl4ze in a huff. Bl4ze: Now I have to find PatBack and get him back. I just hope wherever he is, he's in good hands. Cut back to PatBack and Terminoob. Terminoob: "The spam from Stan goes directly into the can." PatBack: The spam in Stan goes directly into the can. Terminoob: By George, you got it! You're on your way on becoming very mature like me. Bl4ze slams the door open. Bl4ze: I'm sorry, terminoob, but I have come to take my apprentice back. Bl4zikid is a very tiring apprentice and I miss you a lot, PatBack. Terminoob: Sorry sir, but I can't let you do that. I've trained PatBack to be as mature as me and I can't let him forget those skills. PatBack: Actually, Mr. Terminoob, I want to go back to Captain Bl4ze. I'm not very great at being as mature as you and he misses me as much as I miss him. Terminoob: Well, if that's what you want, then I respect your choice. Cut to PatBack and Bl4ze outside of terminoob's profile. Bl4ze: So what do say we wreak havoc on SBC some more? I still have some joke spin-offs/lits I can spam in there. PatBack: Of course! That's the only thing we're great at! Epilogue Bl4zikid walks into terminoob's profile Bl4zikid: So as it turns out, I'm not very good at being an asshole, so I've decided that I want to become more mature like you. Terminoob: Well, alright then. I do need an apprentice to replace PatBack. Anyways, "The spam from Stan goes directly into the can." 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Welcome to my phrase vocabulary, "The spam from Stan goes directly into the can.". XD 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane Posted May 20, 2016 Share Posted May 20, 2016 (edited) On 4/5/2016 at 7:34 PM, Metal Snake said: Welcome to my phrase vocabulary, "The spam from Stan goes directly into the can.". XD Edited June 9, 2016 by jjsthekid 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Biden Posted June 12, 2016 Author Share Posted June 12, 2016 I apologize for the lack of updates of this lit. I haven't really had any new ideas for the episode I'm parodying, but I'm gonna start working on it now. To make up for it, here's a little sneak peek of things to come. The episode will be titled "The Sweet Life of PatBack and Bl4ze-dy". A wealthy lady turns PatBack into a fancy boy. Bl4ze does not like it and wants the old PatBack back. Marilyn Manson guest stars as Gratuitous Cameo Guy. Episode coming sometime in Junelygust. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquiddyFace Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 This is too good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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