4EverGreen

Hulk SMASH!!!!

It's been a LONG time since Nickelodeon has aired TWO new episode segments in the same day, I was wondering if Nickelodeon had forgotten HOW to do that! I'm...not quite sure what to make of the episode's concept. Because Patrick finds an old black and white melodramatic movie to SOMEHOW be funny and starts laughing, it causes Spongebob to start laughing. Unfortunately, this turns out to be the straw that MENTALLY breaks the camel's back (or in this case, mentally BREAKS Spongebob's ability to control his ability to laugh or not laugh; as he is suddenly unable to STOP laughing, even though he doesn't necessarily WANT to! In a "Surprisingly Realistic Outcome", this causes him to get kicked out of the movie theater, causes him to temporarily lose his job, earns him the ire of Squidward (though that's not much of a stretch); somebody who buys a big, oversized hat; someone who accidentally crashed his milk car and was LITERALLY crying over spilled milk; doctors working at an operation, and clowns at a FAKE Clown Funeral (although I did like the unique character Sparklenose; I hope he returns for more appearances!) Eventually, Spongebob is SO desperate to STOP laughing, he decides to see, what is LITERALLY called: "The Saddest Movie In The World" (And surprisingly, it's NOT about The Ugly Barnacle!) In the movie, he's surprised to see his GRANDMA in there (nice to see her make a return appearance), and SHE'S laughing, to! Apparently, there comes a point in the life of ALL Squarepants' family members, that after laughing so much; they lose their ability to STOP controlling their laughter! But...at least they can take comfort in not being alone. Of course, I'd bring up the SIMPLE solution that Spongebob could've simply seen a REAL professional who could've fixed his problem, but it will more than likely be undone by Negative Continuity anyways. I guess, to quote a certain character from "Futurama": "I have no strong feelings about this one way or the other". I guess I'd give it a 6.5 out of 10. Enough said, true believers!

The idea for this plot feels like a well-done INVERSION of the plot for "Idiot Box". This time around, instead of Squidward's imagination NOT working out at all, it starts working TOO good! (Although, that's actually making PROGRESS on being flexible for Squidward, so; credit where credit is due! The problem with Squidward's imagination, is that once Spongebob and Patrick SUGGEST something to NOT think about, Squidward IMMEDIATELY thinks about it! One has to wonder if Sea Elephants and Sea Panthers are real in "Spongebob Squarepants", I sure hope they are! It was totally FUNNY to see Bubble Bass as a Punk Rocker, and I was totally NOT expecting Doodlebob to return in this episode! And Squidward actually had to be REMINDED that he can MAKE ink, and he uses that to draw himself a door out of the Imagination Box...or so he believes! Ironically, Squidward finds the most peace imagining himself working at the Krusty Krab, and Spongebob and Patrick decide to not tell him the truth, as he seems to be happy and contented there. All in all, I'd have to give this episode a 10/10! Enough said, true believers!

Since I'm finding it much easier to fire my creative juices now that I've got a plan for this season in place, I'm ready to start work on the next episode of this season! / Sniz is standing in a busy casino room, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Paradise City; we began with 14 contestants. Some were eager, and ready to take the competition seriously! Others, seemed to just be eager to be annoying! The Killer Crocodiles, and the Fearless Flamingos were formed, and while both teams had their fair share of dysfunction in them; in the end, it was Freddy Ferret's excellent climbing and hay rope tying skills, that secured a win for the Fearless Flamingos. Skeeter Valentine, unable to STOP making weird sound effects, was the first contestant to be FIRED out of the Cannon Of Shame! Now, we have 13 contestants left, and the show is about to potentially get more glamorous! Who will shine like a Vegas Strip Singing Star? Who will burn out and fizzle out like so many Elvis Presley Impersonators? And will Karen manage to successfully reboot herself?" (Gilligan Cut to Karen) Karen, in a weird tone, sings: "I'm a little teapot, short and stout; here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up, hear me shout; 'Tip me over, pull me out!" (Gilligan Cut back to Sniz) Sniz says: "She's making progress! Just last night, she thought she was a toaster! Anyways, for answers to the other questions; stay tuned for a VERY ritzy, razzle-dazzle episode of Total Cartoon Paradise City!" / Instead of the usual show open, Bubble Bass, wearing a tuxedo made ENTIRELY of bubbles, sings a version of Taco's hit song, "Puttin' On The Ritz". Bubble Bass sings: "If you're blue and you don't know where to go to. Why don't you go where fashion sits? Puttin' on the Ritz. Different types who wear a day-coat. Pants with stripes and cutaway-coat, perfect fits. Puttin' on the Ritz. Dressed up like a million-dollar trouper. Trying hard to look like Alice Cooper (Super-duper!) Come, let's mix where Rockefellers walk with sticks or umbrellas in their mitts. Puttin' on the Ritz! Have you seen the well-to-do, up and down Park Avenue? On that famous thoroughfare with their noses in the air? High hats and Arrow collars, white spats and lots of dollars; spending every dime for a wonderful time. If you're blue and you don't know where to go to; why don't you go where fashion sits? Puttin' on the Ritz. Different types who wear a day-coat. Pants with stripes and cutaway-coat, perfect fits. Puttin' on the Ritz! Dressed up like a million-dollar trouper. Trying hard to look like Alice Cooper (Super-duper!) Come, let's mix where Rockefellers walk with sticks or umbrellas in their mitts. Puttin' on the Ritz! Puttin' on the Ritz! (Instrumental Break) Got to dance! Got to...dance-dance-dance-dance-dance. If you're blue and you don't know where to go to; why don't you go where fashion sits? Puttin' on the Ritz! Puttin' on the Ritz! Puttin' on the Ritz!" / And the rocking song ends! / "Putting On The 'Razz' In The Razzle-Dazzle!" It is night-time, and at the Flamingo Hotel replica where the Fearless Flamingos are staying, Franz Flubb is busy DRAGGING Squilliam Fancyson to a private hotel lobby, where Franz locks the doors, and closes the drapes! Squilliam says: "All right, spit it out! Whatever you just HAD to drag me here to discuss better be SUPER important, because I was just dreaming about how GLORIOUS it will be when I inevitably WIN this season, PROVING that I am superior to SQUIDWARD in every way!" Franz says: "Look, I could care LESS about YOUR delusions of grandeur! What I'M more concerned about, is how am I SUPPOSED to win when my brother is INEVITABLY going to get in the WAY of that GOAL?!!!" Squilliam scoffs, and he says: "Don't get me wrong! I'm as MUCH a fan of sabotage, especially where SQUIDWARD is concerned; as ANYBODY is! But the fact of the matter is, I have YET to see ANY evidence of just HOW detrimental YOUR brother is to YOUR well-being! And so far, the evidence points to YOU being all whiny and complaining, while your brother has been GENEROUSLY patient with you! If anything, if I were as HALF as vindictive as YOU are; YOU would be the one I would WANT eliminated as OPPOSED to YOUR brother! At least Guapo doesn't SOUND as crazy/paranoid as YOU do!" Franz screams: "How DARE you take his side; especially in a PRIVATE CONVERSATION?!!!" Squilliam sputters, and he says: "Private? PRIVATE?!!! Everybody in a 100 mile RADIUS could HEAR you!" Franz scoffs, and he says: "If YOU'RE going to be like THAT; I'm simply going to LEAVE, and FIND someone who WILL help me! Out of my WAY; future calamari steak!" And Squilliam looks puzzled! (Confessional) Squilliam looks through a dictionary, and he says: "Calamari...calamari...HERE it is! (Beat) WHAT?!!! They eat creatures like ME, with THAT?!!! Who on EARTH could STOMACH that slop! And PLEASE, don't use a 'Gilligan Cut' to illustrate the point; I'm NOT in the mood! The NERVE of that...whatever he is! He BETTER hope our team keeps winning; because the minute we LOSE; I'm already 85% sure it's going to be ALL his FAULT!" / Franz Flubb says: "You would THINK that Squilliam, of ALL contestants; would understand how I feel about MY brother! And even HE is taking Guapo's side?! What on EARTH does MY brother have that I DON'T?!!!" / Guapo says: "According to former contestant Wally, what I have that my brother doesn't have; are good looks, brains, charm, self-confidence, a positive attitude, a better personality, and a drive to do my best...but I totally digress!" (End Confessional) Franz Flubb goes to the Killer Crocodiles' Replica Luxor hotel, and he rings the doorbell, and who should answer it EXCEPT General Barracuda?! General Barracuda angrily says: "If you--AGH!!!!--Have any--AGH!!!!--important business, you better state it--AGH!!!!--really quick, because I--AGH!!!!--am willing--AGH!!!!--to hit you--AGH!!!!--SO HARD--AGH!!!!--It will wake--AGH!!!!--Up--AGH!!!!--Your DENTIST!!!!--AGH!!!!" Gordon Quid walks by, and he says: "There's no need to act so hostile, General Barracuda. MOST of us are reasonable adults here! Besides, aren't you getting TIRED of getting SHOCKED all the time?!" General Barracuda says: "Of COURSE I am! It's not exactly HARD to notice!" Henry says: "Well, if you want to STOP being shocked; there's a VERY simple way to do that! You want to learn how?" General Barracuda says: "Suddenly, YOU'RE an expert on psycho-analysis?" Henry says: "Depends on the 'Psycho' in question! In any case, if you want to stop being shocked; just learn to express your anger RATIONALLY!!!!" General Barracuda angrily says: "You THINK--AGH!!!!--I'm NOT--AGH!!!!--Being RATIONAL?!!!--AGH!!!!" Plankton gets a displeased look, and he says: "I think the SHOCKING is speaking for itself! What do YOU think, Karen?!" Karen, in a weird tone sings: "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts! Deedle-lee, deedle-lee, deedle-lee; here, you see them standing in a row! (Plankton gets REALLY irritated and GRABS a GIGANTIC Morning Star Mace hanging over the fireplace) Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head--!" (KONG!!!!) And Plankton hits Karen SUPER-HARD with the Mace, and Karen's screen whirs back to normal! Karen, speaking normally again, and she says: "WOAH! I must have had an out-of-series experience! I thought I was some type of bird!" Lori says: "Well, glad to see you FINALLY decided to show up!" Karen says: "You know, I could think up of about 300 different ways to insult you from my OWN data-bank memory alone WITHOUT looking up on the Internet! But since you're SO intellectually beneath me, you're not even WORTH belittling!" Lori scoffs, and she says: "I'll believe THAT when I hear it!" (Confessional) Karen angrily says: "Why that DIRTY LITTLE--!!!!" Than Karen composes herself, and she breathes, and calmly says: "Don't lose your cool; DON'T lose your cool! Every single villain that's EVER lost their cool on this show, has always LOST...BADLY!!!! If I WANT to win this show once my HUSBAND inevitably fails like he ALWAYS does, I will need to be composed and calm! If I want to win this, I'm going to HAVE to play the LONG game! So; plan now, revenge LATER!!!!" / Lori says: "I'm not sure whether I should be concerned OR excited about potentially making a computer mad! But Karen? There's no WAY she'd be able to pass the Turing Test; no matter WHAT Plankton may say otherwise!" / Plankton says: "Percussive Maintenance, works every time whenever my treadmill inevitably goes on the fritz! And yes, in my case; my treadmill just HAPPENS to be one of those Grocery Checkout treadmills that moves food along. Normal treadmills are too BIG and wide for a guy of MY stature!" (End Confessional) Franz says: "First of all, you ALL going off on a TANGENT? That's one of the biggest reasons you guys and girls lost the LAST time! Second of all, I didn't wake you up because I thought you had enough good night sleep; I came to you because I am personally seeking YOUR help! I need SOMEONE taken care of! And by 'SOMEONE', I mean my Brother!" Henry asks: "Shouldn't we wake up Sheen, first?" Franz asks: "Who CARES about Sheen?! You won't even NEED him! He's like, MINUS one contestant on YOUR team anyways!" Gordon asks: "What have you got AGAINST your brother?" Franz says: "He ALWAYS puts MY life and well-being in danger; and I'm sick and tired of ALWAYS getting hurt on deliveries! I need him OUT of this game so that I can FOCUS on winning the $1.4 million, and be able to pay for my OWN delivery routes WITHOUT working with my brother!" Gordon sighs, and he says: "So, let me get this straight; you want OUR team, to help you, to find a way to get rid of YOUR brother, so that YOU can win the $1.4 million dollars?" Henry says: "Franz, I have heard MANY crazy things on MY show; most of them from June, and I just have to say...you're out of your mind! Your WISH is HORRIBLE!!!! Your GOAL is HORRIBLE!!!! Your REQUEST is HORRIBLE!!!! You're an IRREDEEMABLE MONSTER!!!!" Franz angrily says: "How DARE you?! I give you a chance to actually WIN an episode, and THIS is how I get TREATED?!" General Barracuda coyly says: "Oh, FRANZ; I can help you get RID of your brother...IF; you do something VERY important for ME, FIRST!!!!" Karen sternly says: "Don't EVEN think about it, Franz! Everyone who's ever TRIED to make an alliance with General Barracuda NEVER gets what they WANT in the end; not even General Barracuda! And he's tried harder than anybody!" Franz screams: "I don't CARE!!!! This is a matter of PERSONAL safety!" Lori says: "Look, I don't personally like most of MY younger siblings most of the time; but even I know that this 'Revenge Quest' of yours, is bound to be NOTHING but trouble! It NEVER works!" Franz says: "Don't give me that CRAP!!!! If ANYBODY deserves to get REVENGE, it's going to be ME!!!!" Plankton mockingly says: "'If anybody deserves to get revenge, it's going to be me!" Than Plankton seriously says: "SERIOUSLY, that's what you SOUND like!!!! Do you even LISTEN to yourself when you TALK?!!!" General Barracuda says: "Don't listen to THOSE jealous guys and girls! They're NOBODY to YOU!!!! Help me, and I will be SURE to help YOU!!!! But let's go somewhere more PRIVATE first!" Franz gets a devious smile, and he says: "Wherever you WANT to go...PARTNER!!!!" And Franz and General Barracuda leave the replica Luxor, and Sheen just HAPPENS to wake up, and walks downstairs in his UltraLord pajamas, and he asks: "What did I miss?!" Gordon says: "Nothing that concerns YOU, kid! Just us ADULTS!!!!" Sheen says: "Well, did you know that this GIRL you're interested in, Human Kimberly; while you may BOTH be six, she's WAY underage compared to you! To be honest, it's actually kind of creepy!" Gordon gets a HORRIFIED look, and he says: "Wait! She's WHAT?!!!" (Confessional) Gordon quickly looks through a guidebook about Human Females, and GULPS in horror! Gordon says: "I'm doomed, doomed! I'm doomed, doomed, doomed! Why in the H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS did nobody ever TELL me Human Kimberly was underage compared to ME?!!! Cats aren't BORN automatically KNOWING everything about human girls! I SWEAR, if I had known she was underage compared to me; of COURSE I never EVER would've tried to date her! Granted, I'm not even sure I can say I even GOT up to BAT; but the fact is, unintentionally or not, I have been pursuing a relationship I never SHOULD HAVE pursued, and it took Mr. Space Cadet, of ALL people; to tell the awful TRUTH to me?! From now on, I no longer WANT rich 'Fake Friends' to tell me what I WANT to hear; I need REAL friends, regardless of how much money they have, to tell me what I NEED to hear, regardless of how painful it is! I NEVER want to make a mistake this horrible ever AGAIN!!!!" / Henry shakes his head, and he says: "Sheen, you have just GOT to learn about discretion! I'm SURE he would've found OUT about the truth...eventually! Now, we'll NEVER know! RUINED it!" / Sheen says: "As unbelievable as my adventures in my space might sound; when I got back to Earth, Jimmy Neutron was really MAD that I took his experimental space vehicle for a ride without his permission. But, I just told him the honest truth. Of COURSE he was mad, but his anger would've been a LOT worse, and what I would've had to do to earn his friendship back; would've been a lot worse if I lied to him! Fortunately for me, even if I don't always KNOW what I'm talking about, when it comes to things that aren't ALWAYS UltraLord related, I always try to be as honest as I possibly can! Of course, when it comes to Franz; even a guy like ME knows, that he also needs to have EMPATHY, and NOT be irrationally angry about things that Guapo has absolutely no control over!" / Plankton says: "Franz actually WANTS to work with General Barracuda? Man, and I thought I was evil! That's why I've NEVER resorted to asking for General Barracuda's help! Whatever he wants, it's always going to be FAR more trouble to the person who ASKS for General Barracuda's help, than it's EVER going to be for General Barracuda!" / Karen says: "Even PLANKTON can be right about SOME things SOME times...occasionally!" / Lori sighs in contentment, and she says: "It's SO nice when your opponents PRACTICALLY decide to ELIMINATE themselves! Makes the work that YOU have to do to ensure you're OWN safety that much easier!" (End Confessional) Franz and General Barracuda go to a replica of a Caesar's Palace Hotel, and General Barracuda says: "This is where we will talk." Franz says: "Personally, we COULD have talked anywhere, but FINE! What do I have to do to get your help?!" General Barracuda says: "I NEED this Shock Collar off; and I need YOUR help! It's OBVIOUS that this whole 'Shocking me until I LEARN how to express my anger rationally thing', is NEVER going to work! And I can't take it off myself, or this thing will shock me SO much; it will put me into a coma! And if I get put into a coma, there's a good chance my wife will LEAVE me and my son will NEVER let me see MY grandson again! So, I'm counting on you to REMOVE the Shock Collar, so I can get ON with the rest of my life!" Franz says: "Look, I'm perfectly willing to REMOVE your Shock Collar, but just HOW do you expect Sniz and the others to not notice? They're not BLIND, you know!" General Barracuda says: "I've already thought of that!" And General Barracuda pulls out a collar that looks a LOT like his Shock Collar! General Barracuda says: "I crafted this in my spare time! It's a battery-powered collar that I can control! It lights up, but I receive no shock! So, all I have to do is to OCCASIONALLY act like I'm BEING shocked whenever I HAVE to say something that's angry so Sniz doesn't get wise; GRADUALLY lessen up the amount of times I light the collar up; until I stop entirely, and Sniz will just take the collar off, and no one will EVER know that YOU helped make this happen!" Franz says: "And just HOW do you propose to help ME get rid of Guapo?" General Barracuda says: "Remove my collar first! I don't want to take any chances that I'll get shocked!" Franz groans in frustration, and he says: "FINE!!!!" And using a collection of space tools, Franz gradually loosens the bolts keeping General Barracuda's Shock Collar secure, until it falls off of the ground! General Barracuda feels his free neck, and he says: "FINALLY! I was worried that collar was going to leave me with some hickey marks!" Franz says: "Whatever THOSE are! Now, put on your Fake Collar, and tell me your plan!" General Barracuda puts his Fake Collar on, and he says: "All right, tell me. What is ONE thing your brother would absolutely be HORRIBLE in no matter HOW hard he tried?!" Franz scoffs, and he says: "That's easy! Putting on a glamorous show to impress people! If Guapo can't impress ME, he doesn't have a CHANCE with Sniz OR your son; you just make SURE to give Guapo SUCH a bad score, that any score I get will look GREAT by comparison; so that I'll be safe, and Guapo is the one who gets to experience the pain that I feel whenever I have to take a trip that I don't like!" General Barracuda's face sours, and he says: "Wait! You're actually SERIOUS about WANTING to get RID of your brother THAT much?! And for THAT petty of a REASON?!!! Who do you think I am?!!!" Franz angrily says: "Don't give ME any PHONY morality play! You got what YOU wanted, now it's MY turn!" General Barracuda says: "You know, maybe there's actually a good REASON as to why YOU constantly suffer pain! You don't APPRECIATE the family you have in your LIFE!!!! You PURPOSEFULLY look for reasons to be ANGRY at others who don't DESERVE it!!!! You pick fights you know that you could never POSSIBLY win because you're addicted to BEING angry and miserable; when all YOU would have to do to STOP your anger...!!!!" Than General Barracuda gets a HORRIFIED look on his face, when he realizes that he's ALSO perfectly describing his OWN attitude, and all General Barracuda can do, is hollowly finish: "...is to accept responsibility for your own actions and move on from the past." Franz PRETENDS to think about it, and he says: "Let me see; take responsibility for MY own actions? Or get sweet, SWEET REVENGE? DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! Sweet, SWEET REVENGE wins HANDS DOWN!!!!" General Barracuda seriously says: "Well, I WON'T help you!" Franz Flubb seriously says: "Do you WANT me to tell Sniz that you made a deal with ME behind HIS back, because YOU couldn't HANDLE taking the long, HARD route?! Do you want the ONLY reasons YOU have for living to leave YOUR life, FOREVER?!!! And I'll DO it to! You have NO idea how long I've been WAITING for a chance to give Guapo a taste of MY pain; and there's absolutely NO punishment that Sniz can think of, that I haven't already BEEN through, so if I have to go through SOME pain in order to get what I want, so BE it! But I KNOW you don't want ME to blab the truth to Sniz, and YOU don't want to lose YOUR wife, or the love and trust of your son! So, you BETTER make sure you GIVE Guapo that horrible score! Just make sure to give ME a convincing score for the performance that I give, and Sniz will NEVER have to know about this little deal!" General Barracuda's face really sours, and he says: "I'll see what I can do! But REMEMBER; your performance BETTER not be shoddy! I can't give YOU a high score just because YOU want it! Sniz would NEVER buy me giving YOU a perfect 10 for some lousy 'Dog and Pony' show!" Franz says: "Don't worry; my act will be NOTHING like 'It's Pony'; I will put on the performance of a life-time!" General Barracuda says: "See that you do. You just better hope your BROTHER is as lousy as YOU say he is! Because if he GENUINELY gives a good performance that's BETTER than yours, than I have to give him an Honest Score; deal or NO deal! And trust me when I say, that Sniz can SPOT a dishonest score from a mile away!" (Confessional) Franz chuckles deviously, and he says: "It feels so LIBERATING to FINALLY be able to express the sheer HATRED that I felt for what I've had to go through with MY brother! I should be awarded the FREAKING NOBEL PEACE PRIZE for the amount of patience that I've had! But at least, it will ALL be over soon! I just need to take every last precaution I SHOULD take, to ENSURE that Guapo LOSES!!!!" / General Barracuda gets a SHOCKED look, and he asks: "Have I REALLY been acting THAT crazy and IRRATIONAL towards everyone in general? Why didn't somebody TELL me that I was acting SO INSANE?!!!" Than General Barracuda gets ANOTHER horrified look, face-palms himself, and he says: "Because I never LISTENED to all the 157 STUPID other times that people WERE telling me!" (End Confessional) It is morning, and as the sun rises in the east; Blonda begins a traditional bugle call to wake everybody up, ONLY to be interrupted by Bubble Bass loudly playing Jimi Hendrix's rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner"! Blonda yells: "Keep it down, I'm trying to wake people up!" Bubble Bass shouts: "This is America's NATIONAL Anthem! What's more appropriate than that?!" Toddler Rube says: "I like it!" Blonda says: "You're lucky we live in a Democracy!" In the Flamingo Hotel, Guapo is still sleeping in his bed, and Franz walks in, carrying a cat carrier. Franz says: "Now, remember what WE talked about, Mr. Blik, just walk past Guapo a few times carrying a LADDER over him, make him open up an umbrella indoors, and have him break a mirror!" Mr. Blik, inside the cat carrier, gives Franz a suspicious look, and he says: "You know, you COULD just take Anger Management--!!!!" Franz screams: "SHUT UP AND DO WHAT I SAY!!!!" But this wakes Guapo up, and he asks: "What's with all the shouting? Everybody in a 100 mile radius could HEAR you! Say, did you bring in Gordon Quid's brother to be our friend?" Franz yells: "You're Gordon Quid's BROTHER?!!! You look NOTHING alike!!!!" Mr. Blik shouts: "Stop SHOUTING; I'm not DEAF, you know! But if you keep SCREAMING like that, you're GOING to lose your VOICE!!!!" Franz angrily says: "Get OUT of the cat carrier, and STICK to the plan, or you'll lose EIGHT of your NINE lives, assuming you still HAVE that many!" Mr. Blik says: "Wait a minute! I don't HAVE to put up with this, I'm RICH!!!!" And Mr. Blik opens his cat carrier, and he deviously says: "You WANT me to cross somebody's path? I'll cross SOMEBODY'S path!" And before Franz can do or say anything, Mr. Blik CROSSES Franz's path 13 times, each time carrying a LADDER over Franz, and Mr. Blik SMASHES a giant MIRROR on Franz's head, and while Franz is woozy; Mr. Blik makes Franz open up an umbrella inside! Guapo asks: "Come on, was THAT really necessary?!" And than, from out of NOWHERE, an old-fashioned rotary phone gets thrown at Franz's head, than an old-fashioned cash register gets thrown at Franz's head, than Franz SCREAMS by what he sees coming his way: "AHHH!!!!" And Franz NARROWLY avoids being HIT by a Baby Grand Piano, than NARROWLY misses being hit by a steamroller, than narrowly misses being hit by a school bus, than narrowly misses being hit by an ocean liner, and Franz screams: "THAT ONE doesn't even MAKE ANY SENSE!!!!" Than Franz narrowly misses being hit by an asteroid! And Franz runs out of the hotel in panic! Guapo gets out of bed, wearing only his underwear, and he asks: "What was THAT all about?" Mr. Blik sighs, and says: "I might as well tell you. You're going to find out about it eventually, but your brother's gone crazy! He's COMPLETELY irrational! He thinks that YOU'RE ruining his life and making him suffer pain on PURPOSE!" Guapo gets a GENUINE shocked look, and he says: "That's NONSENSE!!!! I would NEVER put him into ANY situation where he could suffer pain on PURPOSE!!!!" Mr. Blik says: "YOU know that, and I know that; but Franz REFUSES to listen to reason! Instead of taking responsibility for his OWN actions and lousy behavior, he decided to blame ALL of his problems on you; whether that's warranted or not. Oh, and if you ask me; I think you're MUCH too gifted and attractive as a contestant, to let yourself be bullied by someone like Franz!" Guapo interestingly says: "You think I'm attractive, TO?! But more importantly, I can't believe my own...BROTHER!!!!" Mr. Blik sighs, and says: "I hear you. My brothers...one of them is a certified cloud-cuckoolander; and the other likes a girl that he should have no business liking. But even someone of MY disposition, knows BETTER than to hate MY brothers for no good reason!" Guapo sadly says: "I just...wanted to make a good relationship with my brother this season. I thought we could do some real...bonding. That's one of the biggest reasons I signed up for this season WITH my brother! Was THAT so wrong?!" Mr. Blik says: "Of course not! YOU have done nothing wrong! But, I think it's perfectly clear that your brother has NO intention of playing the game YOU want to play!" Guapo says: "But what should I do? If I go after MY brother the way he's going after me, I'd be no better than HE is!" Mr. Blik says: "Well, Franz's biggest weakness; is that every single situation he faces, he expresses ALL of his anger ALL at once! It's ALL or NOTHING as far as he is concerned. You need to show HIM, that you don't even need to GO that far in order to be better than him! First off, the challenge for this episode, is going to be a Talent Show! Use this opportunity to show your brother what happens when YOUR gloves are off, and metaphorically take him down in front of EVERYONE! And before you make any arguments, if your brother really WANTED a good relationship with you, he would have ASKED for it by now! You can't control how others react or feel. What you CAN control, is how YOU control the situation!" Guapo sighs, takes a deep breath, and says: "Well, I know what I have to do. I certainly won't like it, but my mom didn't bring ME up to be pushed around by ANYBODY; least of all, my own brother! Franz hasn't won a fight since the third grade, and that was against a girl! And I'm certainly NOT going to let him win a fight that he doesn't DESERVE to win! If he DOESN'T want to be with me, I plan on giving him EXACTLY what he wishes for!" (Confessional) Guapo is now completely dressed, and he's calling someone on his cell phone. Guapo says: "Good thing I learned about how Miss Boom De-Ay likes me. She always DID tell me, 'Be careful what you wish for; you just MIGHT get it!" / Franz is busy tending to his bruises, and he screams: "I demand to know, who's RESPONSIBLE for my pain!" (End Confessional) And as if to answer the question, Blonda and Bubble Bass are looking at Toddler Rube, as he is MAGICALLY causing random objects to appear in the air, and they magically keep landing in random directions! Bonnie says: "Wow! Rube is REALLY getting the hang of making things magically appear in the air!" And Rube makes a wooden club fly away somewhere, and Franz yells: "OW!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Yeah, but I think Blonda is DEFINITELY going to have to work on his AIM, next!" General Barracuda says: "Well, I personally think HIS aim is spot on!" Bonnie says: "Horatio; YOU seem to be in an unusually GOOD mood today! You're NEVER in a good mood unless YOU'RE up to something! What gives?" General Barracuda twitches as if he's about to lose it, than he remembers that he'd have to PRETEND to be shocked if he loses it, so he composes himself, and he says: "I will let you call me Horatio because you are my wife. What I am up to, is that today, is the day I start LICKING my irrational anger!" Fondue suspiciously says: "YOU?! Lick YOUR irrational anger?! THAT'S a real laugh!!!!" General Barracuda angrily says: "I--AGH!!!!--Am so--AGH!!!!--ANGRY--AGH!!!!--With YOU!!!!--AGH!!!!" Fondue's suspicious face disappears, and he says: "You STILL haven't conquered it!" General Barracuda composes himself, and he says: "I'm still WORKING on it; you can't expect me to IMPROVE my Anger Management Skills just like THAT! Blonda grants WISHES, not miracles! If I'm going to get control of my anger, I have to do it the old-fashioned way!" Sniz says: "Tell it like it is, General Barracuda!" And at that moment, the teams finally assemble at their team emblems! Sniz says: "And speaking of doing things the old-fashioned way, it's time to reveal what old-fashioned challenge WE will be doing for this show!" Sheen says: "Just so long as it's NOT an episode from Season 7 of 'The UltraLord Show', he went through a LOT of 'Later Installment Weirdness' in THAT season!" Gordon says: "Oh, like the 'Later Installment Weirdness' YOU went through on 'Planet Sheen'?" Sheen says: "Hey! At least I was WILLING to TRY something different on my own, even if that meant FAILING! At least I did it on my OWN terms!" Henry says: "Ooh, he's got you THERE; Gordon! Even a broken clock is right TWICE a day!" Gordon sighs, and says: "It's a fair cop." Sniz says: "And speaking of fair, challenges don't get much more fair than the one we have in mind for this episode! For this upcoming challenge, you will have to pick three members of your own team, to display a talent for our talent show, which will be judged by Blonda, myself, and our own General Barracuda! We will judge you on a scale from 1 to 10, and whoever has the highest combined score, will win for their team!" Squilliam says: "That means everyone else can just quit; we all KNOW that NOBODY is going to be more talented than ME!" Squilivia looks at the REST of her team seriously, and she says: "ANYONE BUT...HIM!!!!" Squilliam THINKS about it, and he says: "Fair enough! I wouldn't WANT to make everyone else feel TOO inferior!" (Confessional) Squilivia breathes a sigh of relief, and she says: "Well, I think he took that well! Maybe he's NOT as bad as I thought; knock on wood!" / Squilliam says: "If I HAD to guess, my guess is that BOTH Franz and Guapo will want to compete in this Talent Challenge! Franz will ATTEMPT to HUMILIATE his brother, and Guapo will inevitably show WHAT happens when you FORCE him to take the gloves off! And SPOILER Alert, it's NOT going to end well for Franz!" / Squidina says: "My experience with shows is more 'Behind the Camera' than in front of it! But I can use my knowledge and expertise of producing a TV show, to help make a theatrical one!" / Freddy says: "If I were confidant about my OWN singing skills, I'd sing a song to Peck, that tells him how I really feel about him! But...since I don't think I have skills necessary to sing a song well, I'm going to recommend that Abby gets a chance to shine!" (End Confessional) Freddy says: "Pick Abby, it's GOT to be Abby! She LOVES to sing! She's a great singer! If ANYBODY can win this challenge for us, it's her!" Abby says: "You really think I can sing, Freddy?" Freddy says: "Of course I do! A lot better than many other singers out there in the world! This could be the opportunity of a life-time for you!" Abby says: "Well, when you put it like that; how can I POSSIBLY pass that up?" Franz eagerly says: "And I will ALSO compete in this talent contest; no questions asked!" Guapo sighs, and he says: "I will compete as well, on the condition that I go last. I want to make sure Franz doesn't feel pressured by me in ANY way in the slightest!" Franz suspiciously says: "That's...really uncharacteristically generous of you." Guapo seriously says: "It doesn't have to go down the way YOU think it has to go down! You can DROP this attitude of yours; right now! I don't CARE if you DON'T want to work with me; but that DOESN'T give you the excuse for you to FREAK OUT like a JERK and blame ALL of your problems on me!" Franz bitterly says: "So, it's back to THAT stupid static again! You think I don't KNOW what's going on around here?! I know this little game of yours, by now! You think that you can just use your powers of reason and persuasion to convince me to change my mind like I always have, and I'll melt...just the way that Mother and Father did! Just because Mother and Miss Boom De-Ay likes YOU best; you think you're BETTER than I am! Well; I'm NOT an INCOMPETENT! It's my BIRTHRIGHT to be a GREAT delivery guy! I like WORKING my STUPID DELIVERY JOB!!!! I don't know HOW you scored BETTER than me on that Aptitude Test; but I'll prove once and for all that I'm the best Flubb brother, and not my FAT SACK excuse for a brother!!!!" And everyone else gasps simultaneously. But without even flinching, Guapo sighs, and says: "Very well, than. But just remember, YOU WERE WARNED!!!!" (Confessional) Guapo says: "From here on out, he's getting no more chances; no more trust, and no more mercy! From now on, he's no longer my brother; he's just another opponent! And I'm going to take him down, no matter HOW hard that may be!" / Franz says: "If you don't fight for what you WANT in life, you're NEVER going to get it! I've waited for nine YEARS to win another fight, and I am overdue for another win!" / Squiliva shudders, and she says: "Something REALLY bad is about to go down between Franz and Guapo, and I don't know if any of us can STOP it!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "The Fearless Flamingos have decided THEIR participants! Killer Crocodiles, how about you?" Sheen says: "Ooh! Pick me! It's GOT to be me! I know EVERY single episode of 'The UltraLord Show' that's ever aired! I can even recite several of the scripts by heart! I could do that monologue episode where UltraLord was the SOLE focus for most of the episode segment!" Karen asks: "And none of US would have to be involved?" Sheen asks: "And risk Plankton unnecessarily fouling things up like he ALWAYS does? HARD PASS!" Henry says: "Even HE'S got YOUR number, Plankton!" Plankton angrily says: "Like I ASKED for HIS opinion!" Gordon sighs, and he says: "I've got to go. I need to apologize to Human Kimberly, from the bottom of my heart." Lori asks: "Are you SURE that's a good idea?" Gordon says: "It's got to be better than YOU trying to compete against Abby; you wouldn't last ONE challenge against HER talent!" (Confessional) Lori says: "It's a good thing I WASN'T born with an insufferable ego like Bulma was. Otherwise, I'd be really tempted to prove HIM wrong right now!" / Gordon says: "My mom always told me, that as soon as you realize that you've made a mistake; it's important that you apologize for it and mean it. That way, you can start healing your own spiritual karma, and hopefully repair things, as a casual FRIENDSHIP!" (End Confessional) Henry sighs, and he says: "And I guess I'll volunteer, to. ANYTHING to keep Plankton and Karen from fouling things up!" Karen scoffs, and says: "Like you REALLY needed to lump me in with HIM; no offense, dear!" Plankton bitterly says: "None TAKEN, Karen!" Sniz says: "All right, the participants have been decided! You will all have one hour to come up with your routine! So get prepared while we take a commercial break, and than we will proceed with today's challenge on Total Cartoon Paradise City!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

It's time for the 2nd and final part of the re-run of my "Total Cartoon Paradise City" episode, "You've Got Another Thing Coming!" / After the commercials end, the contestants are looking at the Steamboat, now painted in BEAUTIFUL colors, but they are puzzled as to why the Steamboat looks like it's starting to sink into the man-made lagoon! Sheen says: "I've seen some weird things on 'The UltraLord Show', but he's NEVER gone on an adventure like this!" Gordon asks: "Is THAT the only thing you get REFERENCE from?!" Sheen asks: "Is there anything ELSE worthwhile?!" Henry rolls his eyes and says: "I could think of SEVERAL things that are just as equally, if not MORE worthwhile; but for the sake of time and interest, I won't mention them here." Franz waves his hand eagerly, and he cheerfully says: "All right! VERY VALUABLE contestant right here, come up and get in an alliance with me--NOT GUAPO!!!!" Abby scoffs, and she says: "With THAT snotty attitude?! Not if you were the LAST...whatever you're supposed to be from WHATEVER planet you're originally from!" Squidina says: "I agree. A GOOD alliance comes from building trust and GIVING as much as you are GETTING!!!!" Franz sputters in disbelief, and he says: "You're KIDDING, right?! Do you have ANY ideas on how many dangers I've FACED on MY space deliveries with Guapo?! This is NOTHING in comparison!" Guapo groans, and he says: "Franz, that's the whole 'Tempting Fate' thing I keep TRYING to tell you about; you're NEVER going to WIN against it!" Franz says: "Don't give me that CRAP!!!! If ANYBODY deserves to tempt fate and WIN, it's going to be ME!!!!" Squilliam mocks Franz and says: "'If anybody deserves to tempt fate and win, it's going to be me!!!!" Than Squilliam talks normally, and seriously says: "Seriously, that's what you SOUND like! Do you even LISTEN to yourself when you TALK?!!!" Freddy says: "I sure wish YOU did!" Abby says: "BURN!!!!" Sniz says: "PLEASE pay attention, contestants! It's time to reveal what your first challenge is going to be for this season! And trust me, there's a very good reason this Steamboat is currently slightly submerged!" Squilivia says: "I sure hope so!" Sniz says: "There definitely is! You see, we thought that for our very first challenge, we would simulate what would happen in a DISASTER like setting! We've simulated this Steamboat running aground, and it is now going to sink! What your job will be, is two fold. First, we've assembled a random batch of supplies from the 'Paradise City' Lost and Found." Lori scoffs, and says: "How can there be ANYTHING in the Lost And Found?! This is our FIRST day here!" General Barracuda angrily says: "DON'T--AGH!!!!--MAKE ME--AGH!!!!--HIT YOU--AGH!!!!--HARD--AGH!!!!" Fondue says: "Horatio, you're FAILING again!" Bonnie shakes her head and says: "Honestly, I don't know WHY we thought THIS was ever going to work!" Bubble Bass says: "It could STILL happen! It's only the FIRST episode of this season! He's got PLENTY of time to improve!" Blonda says: "Well, at the rate things are going, I think he's going to need ALL the time he can get! The question is, what's going to happen first; General Barracuda learning how to express anger rationally, or Rube learning how to eat solid foods first?" Toddler Rube says: "I just found out that Mustard on Ice Cream tastes REALLY funny; I sure hope that Squidward doesn't think I'd make a regular habit out of it!" Blonda says: "I'm REALLY banking on RUBE to learn how to eat solid foods, first!" General Barracuda groans, and he says: "EVERYBODY'S a critic in this town, EVEN my own family!" Blonda says: "I just tell it like it is, Pops!" General Barracuda gives Blonda a weird glance, and he asks: "You're ENJOYING this, aren't you?!" Blonda says: "ONLY a LOT!!!!" General Barracuda says: "I'll give you points for honesty." (Confessional) General Barracuda asks: "When exactly did I start getting old and START getting tired of fighting? It used to be that I wouldn't get tired of fighting over ANYTHING! But now that I'm married, and now that I have a grandkid, it seems like I don't have as much time to spare as I used to. I'm losing my luster, and this Shock Collar sure isn't helping matters. Why did I EVER have to start a STUPID grudge with Stupidbob--AGH!!!!--Loserpants--AGH!!!!--anyways?!" / Blonda says: "The only bright side to General Barracuda constantly failing, is that Wanda's waving arm for wish-casting is sure getting a good workout!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Look, it doesn't matter WHY we already have a Lost And Found; the point is, we have one. And you're going to have to use whatever you think is useful, to help make your way from the bottom of the Steamboat, to the top where safe land is. But while you're climbing, be sure to watch out for debris being thrown by General Barracuda, because we will be simulating a 6.5 earthquake!" Franz scoffs, and he asks: "Can you even simulate a 1.5 earthquake?!" Sniz groans, and he yells: "WANDA!!!!" Wanda groans in frustration, waves her wand, and sure enough, the ground shakes underneath Franz's feet, and he falls FLAT on his face!" Bubble Bass says: "Ask a stupid question, get a STUPID answer!" (Confessional) Guapo says: "For anyone keeping score at home, that's Fate: 27; Franz: Zero!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "So anyways, the challenge will be simple enough; be the first team to get ALL of your contestants to dry land first, and you will win immunity for the day. The other team will have to vote someone off TONIGHT!" Franz gets up and dusts himself off. Franz says: "ALL of our contestants?! So, that means Guapo HAS to help me finish safely!" Guapo gets offended, and he says: "Of COURSE I'd help you finish safely! Has ANY of our adventures EVER put you in peril before?!" Franz loudly says: "YES!!!!" Guapo THINKS about it, and realizes he CAN'T argue against that, so Guapo says: "Okay, but did you ever STAY in peril?" And Franz gets a horrified look, and the wind gets COMPLETELY taken out of his sails! Guapo says: "That's what I thought!" (Confessional) Franz says: "Man, I HATE it when HE'S right! Why can he NEVER be WRONG when I WANT him to be?! It would be NICE if it happened ONCE, just ONCE; that he's WRONG when I want him to be!" / Guapo sighs, and says: "Yeah, I'm going to have to get Franz into Therapy to find out why he's being such a grouch...AFTER we've won some challenges! Hopefully, knock on wood, Franz can just keep his temper in check for a while! After all, HIS chances of winning $1.4 million depend on it, to!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Contestants, you've got ten minutes to collect and assemble your tools. So, START collecting!!!!" And Skeeter imitates trumpet fan-fare, and he says: "Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh-duh-duh!" (Confessional) Sheen cringes, and he says: "Yeah, even I am finding THAT annoying, and I know more about UltraLord than I do about the subjects I learn in school. Of course, it's not MY fault Miss Fowl is so BORING! If she had a little more energy and passion like UltraLord, MAYBE I would be more interested!" / Gordon says: "If our team loses this challenge, I may HAVE to vote Skeeter off on PRINCIPLE!" / Henry says: "Sometimes, quirkiness is a sign that you're really useful. Other times, it just gets in the way of any USEFULNESS you can provide to a team that you're working with!" (End Confessional) And not having anytime to think, the contestants of the two teams grab whatever items look best to them, empty the Lost And Find out, and go to their team emblems to organize their items. At the Fearless Flamingoes emblem, Abby says: "Look, it's obvious not ALL of us are seeing eye to eye on everything! But, if we DON'T want to lose, which I'm SURE at least MOST of us don't; than we're going to have to put our differences aside and work together!" Squilliam asks: "Isn't the solution OBVIOUS?! We make a statue, a HUGE statue! A wonderful, glorious MAGNIFICENT statue in MY likeness to showcase MY superiority over Squidward, AND a symbol of MY undying love for Squilivia!" Squidina scoffs, and she asks: "Does Squilivia even LIKE you?!" Squilliam asks: "How could she not?! Anybody with a BRAIN stem is ATTRACTED to a man who has money and power, and I have BOTH, and SHE knows it! Of COURSE she's attracted to me; RIGHT?!!!" Squilivia's face twitches, and she says: "This just got...awkward." Guapo says: "Even if we WANTED to build a statue, which I'm sure FRANZ doesn't..." Franz says: "FINALLY!!!! Something WE both agree on!" Guapo continues: "We don't have the necessary materials or tools needed to construct such a thing!" Freddy says: "I've found a bunch of hay stuck together!" Squidina asks: "What good would that do?" Freddy says: "Well, one hay needle by itself is weak, but a BUNCH of hay needles bunched together is strong! If we make a hay rope that's thick enough, and long enough; we can attach one end from the bottom of the boat, to the top!" Squilliam asks: "One question, HOW is the hay rope going to GET to the top?!" Freddy says: "I'll climb it there! Ferrets are EXCELLENT climbers! My parents use their climbing skills to sneak into chicken coops all the time! I've OBVIOUSLY never done that; but it looks like my climbing skills WILL be useful for this!" Abby says: "I can totally vouch for that! Freddy is our man...and ferret!" Squilivia says: "All right, than! We're all counting on YOU to see us through!" (Confessional) Freddy says: "Look, if I want to prove that I'm a viable contestant, I HAVE to take risks and put myself out there! After all, most good things in life don't come to YOU! Most of the time, you have to go and WORK for the things you love! I love Peck, and I will go to ANY legal and ethical means to PROVE my love for him!" / Abby says: "Back at the Barnyard, we usually go to Otis whenever we have a problem that needs to be handled. But...since Otis isn't here, I sure am glad Freddy is stepping up to the plate. Of course, I'm not sure what's will happen; if it eventually boils down to a challenge between him and me, but I'll worry about that only if and/or WHEN that time comes, and not before!" / Squilliam says: "Well, I suppose there ARE less dignified ways to win a challenge...none come to mind at the moment." / Franz says: "As long as I DON'T feel pain, I'm perfectly okay with this!" / Gaupo groans, and he says: "FRANZ; all this 'Tempting Fate' is going to get you into TROUBLE someday, and I'm not sure IF I'll be able to help you...or if I'll even WANT to at the rate YOU keep talking! You MAY be my brother, but even a NICE guy like me has to set SOME healthy limits!" / Squidina says: "Hay is hardly the weirdest thing our show has ever done; it's actually kind of rational by OUR standards...the ones we HAVE anyways!" (End Confessional) Over at the Killer Crocodiles emblem, Gordon says: "Team, this challenge is going to determine whether we start our run as a team with a surplus compared to the other team, or a deficit! Who has an idea that DOESN'T involve stealing the Krabby Patty Secret Formula?!" Plankton snaps his mini-mecha fingers, and he says: "CURSE my 'Over-crippling Specialization'!" Karen says: "Like you HAVE any to begin with!" Plankton says: "I don't see YOU coming up with any Idiot Proof ideas on stealing the Krabby Patty Secret Formula anytime soon!" Karen says: "Well, if I was getting PAID to come up with ideas, I'd make them BETTER ones!" Lori says: "Well, I have a younger sister who's a SUPER genius, but there's no way I'm ever going to be desperate enough to call for HER help!" Skeeter whispers something into Sheen's ear, and Sheen says: "Skeeter is a super genius! He says if we use the inflatable UltraLord doll we got earlier; with enough air, we can all hang onto it, and float our way to the top!" Karen asks: "You expect US to take OUR challenge advice, from Mr. Michael Winslow here?!" Henry asks: "WHO?!!!" Karen says: "Obscure 'Police Academy' reference, look it up!" Lori says: "Come on! It's the first suggestion I'VE heard of that doesn't TOTALLY suck!" (Confessional) Lori says: "Of COURSE I was going to let someone ELSE come up with the idea of trying to solve this challenge! HELLO!!!! That way, if things go south; THEY'LL get the blame, and I'll still be in this to win it! If they HAPPEN to be right, I'll coast on their glory! Either way, it's a win-win for me!" / Sheen says: "I can't think of ANY problem that UltraLord can't solve...EXCEPT maybe getting cancelled! If I knew how to avoid THAT one, I wouldn't have HAD that happen to me...TWICE!!!!" / Plankton groans, and he says: "It's SO hard to find help these days, from potential assets that AREN'T complete IMBECILES!" / Karen says: "That's one of the FEW things Plankton has said, that I TOTALLY agree with!" (End Confessional) A crafting montage takes place, with Skeeter making building effect noises, as the Fearless Flamingos craft together a sturdy hay rope, while Plankton and Karen inflate the Inflatable Ultra Lord Doll with plenty of air, so that everyone can grab on once it's ready! / Sniz says: "Crafting time is over, it's time for everybody to get on the Steamboat, and we'll start this challenge!" Everybody carefully makes their way onto the wobbling steamboat, and quickly get into place. Squilivia looks over to Lori, and she says: "Hey, may the best gal win!" Lori says: "I plan to!" (Confessional) Squilivia sighs, and says: "So much for hoping that conflict between our teams WOULDN'T get personal! But at least I GAVE it an honest shot on MY part!" / Lori says: "Nobody, ESPECIALLY not some one episode appearing NOBODY is going to beat ME on this game show; that's NOT going to happen!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Everybody hold on tight, because things are about to get SHAKIER than the San Andreas Fault did in 1906! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" And the steamboat LITERALLY starts rumbing as if it actually IS being affacted by a 6.5 Earthquake, and General Barracuda starts throwing random pieces of debris at the contestants, as Freddy begins his dangerous climb up the Steamboat, the Killer Crocodiles are having trouble getting their Inflatable UltraLord Doll OFF of the ground, because Plankton's Mini-Mecha is proving to be TOO heavy! While the action is happening, Bob Seger's hit song "Shakedown" is playing in the background! / Bob Seger sings: "No matter what you think you pull you'll find it's not enough. No matter who you think you know, you won't get through. It's a given L.A. law, someone's faster on the draw. No matter where you hide, I'm comin' after you, yeah! No matter how the race is run, it always ends the same. Another room without a view awaits downtown. You can shake me for a while, live it up in style. No matter what you do, I'm gonna take you down!" (And Lori FINALLY kicks Plankton OFF of the Inflatable UltraLord Doll and the Killer Crocodiles start floating up, because Freddy Ferret is already half-way up the steamboat!) Shakedown, Breakdown, Takedown! Everybody wants into the crowded line! (Plankton gets REALLY angry and THROWS a sharp rock at the UltraLord Inflatable Doll out of spite, and the rock hits the UltraLord Inflatable Doll and it breaks, causing the contestants to fall into the water, and in Karen's case, on a hard ROCK in the water, affecting her thinking process!) Breakdown, Takedown, You're busted! (Henry, seeing what the situation is like, quickly jumps into the water and starts rescuing his fellow Killer Crocodiles one by one, while Plankton starts climbing up the Steamboat himself, but Freddy is ALMOST at the top!) Let down your guard! Honey, just about the time you're thinkin' it's alright! Breakdown, Takedown, You're busted! (And Gordon Quid throws the SAME sharp rock at Plankton, knocking HIM down to the bottom of the steamboat, while Freddy FINALLY gets to the top of the Steamboat, securely attaches the hay rope to the top, and motions for the rest of the Fearless Flamingos to start climbing up it.) This is a town where everyone is reachin' for the top. This is a place where second best will never do. It's okay to want to shine, but once you step across that line; no matter where you hide, I'm comin' after you! (Plankton and Gordon get into a LITERAL Cat Fight in a "Big Ball Of Violence" which Henry and Sheen try in VAIN to stop, while Skeeter just keeps making random sound effects to punctuate the fight!) Shakedown, Breakdown, Takedown! Everybody wants into the crowded line! Breakdown, Takedown, You're busted!" (The Fearless Flamingos gradually begin to climb up to the top of the Steamboat, which Karen in spite of her wooziness, tries to point out, but nobody else on the Killer Crocodiles is paying any attention!) Bob Seger keeps singing: "Shakedown, Breakdown! Honey, just about the time you're thinkin' it's alright! Breakdown, Takedown, you're busted! (And Karen decides to charge in and FORCIBLY separate Plankton from Gordon, only to get pounded by BOTH of them, further damaging her thinking circuits!) Ah, busted! Aw, aw! Shakedown, Breakdown, Takedown! Everybody wants into the crowded line! (Plankton FINALLY realizes that Karen is getting hurt, immediately stops fighting and smiles sheepishly at Karen, but everyone else is CLEARLY not amused!) Breakdown, Takedown, You're busted! (Meanwhile, the Fearless Flamingos all finally reach dry land, cross the finish line, and Sniz rings a gong, signifying the end of the challenge!) Shakedown, Breakdown! Honey, just about the time you're thinkin' it's alright! Breakdown, Takedown, You're busted!" / And the song ends early as Sniz says: "And it's over, the challenge is all over! The Fearless Flamingos have metaphorically flown to the top of this challenge, and have won immunity for the night!" Abby says: "Way to go, Freddy! I knew you had it in you!" Freddy blushes, and he says: "Ah, it was nothing much!" Sniz says: "Killer Crocodiles, what can I say? Your teamwork today was LOUSY; REALLY lousy! Get yourself patched up, and meet me at the Elimination Ceremony Bonfire! One of you will be leaving here via cannon fire, TONIGHT!!!!" (Confessional) Skeeter imitates the dying sound effect from "Super Mario Bros.", and says: "Duh! Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh, duh-duh, duh-duh!" / Plankton screams: "MORONS!!!! I'm surrounded by MORONS!!!! I'd expect that in Bikini Bottom! But did I really HAVE to leave the ocean just to go through THIS again?! I sure hope Karen's thinking process hasn't been HARMED in any way!" / Karen is BUSY trying to reboot her signal, and in a weird tone, she says: "I am hilarious, you will quote everything I--BIRDS! BIRDS! BIRDS! Plankton!" / Lori says: "While eliminating Plankton may sound like a GOOD idea; the fact of the matter is, he has actually GONE to college! I'll NEED a brain like that to come up with ideas to keep what REMAINS of MY team safe! I'm telling the rest of team, ESPECIALLY Sheen, to vote off Skeeter tonight IF they want to keep being contestants on the team!" (End Confessional) It's evening, and the Killer Crocodiles are all sitting around a bonfire that's been place inside a tin can trash can. Sniz says: "Killer Crocodiles, while the Fearless Flamingos might have some dysfunctional members; the dysfunction YOU displayed today makes THEIR dysfunction looks like nothing! Somebody's luck here is about to run out tonight! The question is, who? You all know the instructions about how to vote, so get right to it! And remember, the contestant who loses the Luck Showdown, will be shot out of the Cannon of Shame!" Sheen asks: "Cannon?!" Gordon asks: "Cannon?!" Henry asks: "Cannon?!" Karen weirdly asks: "BIRDS?!" And a loud voice, coming from Skeeter says: "CANNON!!!!" Plankton seriously says: "Oh yeah, he is DEFINITELY out!" Lori says: "Thank you, Captain Obvious!" Sniz says: "Once you are shot out of the Cannon of Shame, once you land, you will have to make an Elimination Confessional. That means you are out of the Contest, and you can NEVER come back, EVER! Contestants, VOTE!" (Confessional) A montage of the contestants (minus Skeeter) immediately place Skeeter's Play Token into the Slot Machine. Skeeter, nervously puts in Sheen's play token! (End Confessional) Sniz says: "I've got six chocolate coin tokens indicating safety, and five of them go to, Lori Loud; Henry; Gordon Quid; Karen; and surprisingly, Plankton. That means the two contestants in the Luck Showdown are Skeeter, and Sheen! Who has better luck?! It's time for the Dice!" Wanda says: "On it!" And Wanda poofs two floating dice blocks above the heads of Sheen, and Skeeter! Sniz says: "Don't be all night about it, guys!" And nervously, while they both hit their dice blocks at nearly the same time, Sheen gets 3, while Skeeter only gets 1! Sniz says: "OOH! Tough luck, Skeeter! While 3 is a low number, it wasn't low enough THIS time, and you got the most votes besides! Cannon of Shame awaits!" / Skeeter is now equipped with a helmet, safety glasses, and protective ear wadding for the cannon fire! Sniz says: "Contestant helpers, get into positions!" Blonda screams: "Posts everyone, please!" And Blonda, Bonnie Bass, Bubble Bass, General Barracuda, Wanda, and Toddler Rube quickly go to places where things that could very easily fall over, and grab secure hold of them! Sniz loudly yells: "FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE! FIRE!!!!" And Skeeter is shot OUT of the Cannon, and the Contestant Helpers quickly grab the objects that try to fall to the ground, but they keep them safe, and Skeeter quickly yells: "Thank you for having me on your show, good luck to the rest of you!" Sniz says: "So, that's one contestant down, and thirteen to go. Who will be the next one to go? Who knows? It's now time, for Skeeter's final thoughts." (Elimination Confessional) Skeeter lands into a hotel lounge, he takes off his safety gear, and he says: "Man, being a genius certainly doesn't make you any less nervous about being in a physical challenge! But MAN!!!! Sniz certainly picked an APPROPRIATE name for the Killer Crocodiles! Those guys are all vicious! If they don't get their act together soon, they'll ALL be joining me!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Join us next time for another exciting, and thrilling challenge that will take place on Total Cartoon Paradise City, where the sun sets, but the fun never does!" / Episode Notes: Skeeter Valentine is eliminated in this episode. Featured songs in this episode include Judas Priest's "You've Got Another Thing Coming"; An edited version of Guns N' Roses "Paradise City"; Tom Petty's "Free Fallin"; and Bob Segar's "Shakedown". / Eliminated Contestants: 14. Skeeter Valentine. / Remaining Contestants: Sheen Estevez ("The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius", a Killer Crocodile); Franz Flubb ("The Brothers Flubb", a Fearless Flamingo); Gordon Quid ("Catscratch", a Killer Crocodile); Henry ("Kablam!", a Killer Crocodile); Abby ("Back At The Barnyard", a Fearless Flamingo); Squilliam Fancyson ("Spongebob Squarepants", a Fearless Flamingo); Guapo Flubb ("The Brothers Flubb", a Fearless Flamingo); Karen ("Spongebob Squarepants", a Killer Crocodile); Plankton ("Spongebob Squarepants", a Killer Crocodile); Squidina Star ("The Patrick Star Show", a Fearless Flamingo); Lori Loud ("The Loud House", a Killer Crocodile); Squilivia ("Spongebob Squarepants", a Fearless Flamingo); Freddy Ferret ("Back At The Barnyard", a Fearless Flamingo). / Personal Notes: A problem I've had with the previous seasons that I've written, is that somehow, no matter how ambitious or how eager I am to start writing episodes for these seasons; somewhere along the way, I lose my drive and ambition, causing there to be gaps between the episodes that I write. To prevent that from (hopefully) happening this time, I've given myself a personal episode guide for my own reference, for the episodes that I plan to write for this season, so that I will know what I WANT to write before I write it; so hopefully that will keep me on track for this season! Amazingly, on his own show, Skeeter really IS well-known for making weird and unusual sound effects! But in this case, his nervousness got the better of him, which is why he was the first contestant to take the Cannon of Shame this time! But if you want to know who gets eliminated next, you'll have to read the NEXT episode! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

The first episode of "Total Cartoon Paradise City" is long, so I'm going to keep it broken up into two parts. Here's the first part of the episode, I hope you enjoy it. / Fondue is flying the "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" jet, and Sniz is also in the cock-pit, and he says: "Welcome to the newest season of the Total Cartoon franchise, that we're calling Total Cartoon Paradise City! Once again, I am your host; Sniz Brokowski, and once again, back in co-hosting duties, is Fondue!" Fondue says: "It's about TIME since I got back onto this show full-time! I had to miss the LAST half-season all because of that STUPID court order!" Sniz says: "Well, serves you right for hiring Anti-Fairy help when I SPECIFICALLY said that it was going to be a bad idea! In any case, that won't be a problem for this season! We are currently en route to Paradise, Nevada; with our roster of contestants for this season! And what we were really surpised by the list of contestants who applied for this season, is that we DON'T have any returning contestants from previous seasons, and the contestants THIS season are all brand new! Makes me kind of glad that we ARE going to Paradise, Nevada for this upcoming season! It's the TITLED Paradise City of this season in case you haven't guessed! And this season, our contestants are going to have to rely on both skill AND luck if they want to make it past ALL the other challenges, 13 of their rival contestants, and get their hands on the grand prize of $1.4 million in cold hard cash!" Fondue asks: "What happened to the $44.44 million from LAST season?!" Sniz says: "Two reasons. A., the amount of contestants and challenges in this season is a lot shorter than the last season; therefore, the grand prize is a lot smaller to account for the shorter amount of contestants and challenges. And B., we OBVIOUSLY can't afford to give away $44.44 million in grand prize money EVERY season; we don't HAVE unlimited resources, you know!" Fondue shrugs, and he says: "Fair enough." Sniz says: "Anyways, it's time to tell YOU, the audience, what you can expect for this season! Now, I know there are SOME of you out there who might like something a little more 'Slice of Life' from the Total Cartoon franchise. But you see, we here at the Total Cartoon franchise, never EVER do anything, 'Slice of Life'. We always do everything, CRAZY, CHAOTIC, and COOL!!!! So what we plan to do, is we're going to start OFF this season, CRAZY, CHAOTIC, and COOL; and we plan to FINISH it, CRAZY, CHAOTIC, and COOL; not necessarily that ORDER!!!!" (Sniz's cell phone rings!) Sniz says: "Hang on, I got to take this call!" Sniz answers his cell phone, and he says: "Sniz Brokowski here! (Indistinct chatter) Woah, woah, WOAH!!!! Slow down, okay! Now take a deep breath, and say that AGAIN! (Indistinct chatter) HE'S made it BACK to the mainland, SERIOUSLY?!!! (Indistinct chatter) And he's on his WAY to Paradise, Nevada; now?! I wonder how my new team of Challenge Helper's is going to take THAT news?! (Indistinct chatter) I don't know EITHER, COSMO, but I PLAN on calling them right now! You're LUCKY that I've learned how to SPEAK 'Moron' so that I DON'T have to fire you this time!" Sniz hangs up his cell phone, than dials a number, and Sniz says: "I sure hope my new team of Challenge Helper's is FINISHED setting up for us at Paradise, Nevada; because I HAVE to tell them the news, whether they WANT to hear it or not!" / Meanwhile, at an abandoned storage building in Paradise, Nevada, a bulky-framed woman wearing a slimming black spy suit, is approaching what SHE needs; the actual Steamboat from "Steamboat Willy"! Using a voice changer, she discreetly activates a communicator, and she says: "Target is acquired. Are you ready on your end?" A man, using a voice changer on HIS end, speaks through the communicator, and he says: "Of course I am, but do we really need to use THIS Steamboat?! We've already got plenty of OTHER abandoned casino ideas in our lot already, and why do we NEED to use THAT one, anyways?!" The woman says: "Apparently, Sniz's reasoning is that since DISNEY can no longer exclusively use it, it's free to ANYBODY who wants to use it, so; we might as well put it to good use! Now, throw me the wench cables!" Wench cables are thrown through an open window, and the woman jumps up to catch them before they hit the ground, making as little noise as possible! Swiftly and surely, the woman attaches the wench cables to the Steamboat almost without a sound! The woman quietly says: "Yes, it's done!" At that moment, a loud cell phone rings: "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!" And alerts a bunch of LITERAL security bots to her presence! The woman groans, and says: "Oh, FISH PASTE!!!!" And than she yells: "NOW!!!!" Without a second to spare, the woman jumps onto the steamboat, as an engine whirs, and the sound of Judas Priest's "You've Got Another Thing Coming" plays in the background! Judas Priest sings: "One life, I'm gonna live it up! (The woman is blasting the many security bots coming after her with an electric discharge pistol). I'm takin' flight, said I'll never get enough! (The wench cables PULL the Steamboat straight THROUGH the side of the building, and the wench cables are revealed to be attached to a helicopter on the other end). Stand tall, I'm young and kinda proud! (A bunch of shots blast OFF the woman's mask, revealing her to be BONNIE BASS, Bubble Bass' mother!) I'm on top as long as the music's loud. (Bonnie Bass climbs to the top of the steamboat to get a better angle to shoot at the security bots). If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by, you're thinkin' like a fool 'cause it's a case of do or die!" (Bubble Bass, propelled by his bubbles, comes out of the helicopter towards his mother). Bubble Bass shouts: "Can you use a fin?!" Bonnie says: "Thought had crossed my mind!" Judas Priest sings: "You've got another thing comin'!" Bubble Bass says: "Eat bubble BOMBS, you lame-o bots!" And Bubble Bass THROWS bubbles shaped like bombs that manage to EXPLODE like regular bombs, destroying a bunch of security bots! Judas Priest sings: "That's right, here's where the talkin' ends!" Bonnie asks: "THIS is the song YOUR wife picks?!" Judas Priest sing: "Well listen, this night there'll be some action spent!" Bubble Bass says: "Hey! She's not just a wife; she's an actress/model/mother!" Judas Priest sings: "Drive hard, I'm callin' all the shots!" Blonda, revealed to be piloting the helicopter says: "I may be mortal, but I can STILL use magic!" Judas Priest sings: "I got an ace card comin' down on the rocks!" And with her free left hand, Blonda uses her magic wand to blast away some more security bots! Judas Priest sings: "If you think I'll sit around while you chip away my brain; listen, I ain't foolin' and you'd better think again!" Blonda says: "Hold on, it's going to be a BUMPY land!" Blonda and the others pass through an INVISIBLE force field, and the remaining Security Bots CRASH and explode on contact with it! Judas Priest sings: "You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'!" Blonda sets the Steamboat on a large, artificial lake, in the center of a theme park called "Paradise City", Bonnie pants, and wheezes as she says: "This stuff is SO much harder than the way your FATHER makes it look!" Bubble Bass says: "He's YOUR husband, to! Be THANKFUL that it's HIS connections that got us a job for THIS season! How were the Security Bots alerted to YOUR presence anyways?!" Bonnie says: "That's right! The cell phone call, I nearly forgot!" Judas Priest sings: "Oh, so hot; no time to take a rest, yeah!" Bonnie picks up her cell phone and answers it, and she says: "Whatever it IS, Sniz! It BETTER be super IMPORTANT! My SON and I had to go through a CRAZY aerobatics act to get that steamboat, and--!!--WHAT?!!! MY HUSBAND is back in TOWN?!!! And you expect US to help him with his Anger Management lessons?! That's crazy!" Bubble Bass says: "No crazier than ME walking around in NOTHING but bubbles!" Toddler Rube climbs out of the helicopter, and he says: "And no crazier than my MOM using her magic to give ME the ability to speak EARLIER than I would have!" Blonda says: "I'll tell YOU what's crazy; this FINISH!!!!" Judas Priest sings: "If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by, you're thinkin' like a fool 'cause it's a case of do or die! Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had; if you think I'll let it go, you're mad! You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'!" / And the rocking song ends! / In the series intro, a bunch of renovated casino, amusement theme parks pop up out of the ground (or in the steamboat's case, the water), Cosmo holds an old-fashioned clap-board, shuts it down and the action zooms in on Sniz driving a fancy gazebo through his Amusement Park, as the action pans above the sky to the "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" plane, where Freddy Ferret falls out, but lands safely in the water. He's pulled out by Guapo Flubb with a fishing rod in a boat, who is pleased with his catch, but his brother Franz Flubb is right in the boat WITH Guapo, and Franz tries to wangle away the fishing rod from Guapo; but in the struggle, Freddy Ferret is flung away from the fishing rod, until he lands in Abby's arms, as she is singing a song that makes Gordon Quid, Squidina, and a bunch of local desert (and exported, exotic animals) smile; until Plankton (wearing a small mecha-suit that makes him about Spongebob's size) runs by laughing maniacly, but he doesn't look WHERE he is running, and runs off a cliff, down towards Skeeter Valentine who is busy making funny faces and sounds on a log over the artificial river, until Plankton lands on him, and they BOTH fall in the water. This causes a nearby Karen to face-palm her computer screen face in frustration, while Henry comes out of a nearby dressing room to see what the commotion is. In the nearby mess hall, General Barracuda is STRUGGLING to get through Anger Management lessons (and getting SHOCKED while he wears a shock collar whenever he fails), so his family of Bonnie, Bubble Bass, Rube, and Blonda can't help but laugh; while Fondue grabs some grub in order to SHUT UP Sheen Estevez's latest UltraLord trivia tract, while a very ANNOYED Lori Loud gives Fondue a look which says "Don't even THINK about serving me that food!" Outside the mess hall, Squilivia finishes running a race, and Squilliam Fancyson rushes to congratulate her with flowers and chocolates, only to get knocked INTO the mud by Abby and Freddy Ferret, who were NOT watching where they were going! The camera pans to Blonda, Bubble Bass, and Toddler Rube, who proceed to put on a spectacular bubble and fireworks show, that segue into the night. The camera pans down on Plankton and Karen, as they're about to share a rare moment of romance, only to be RUINED when Squidina decides to capture the moment with a Selfie on her cell phone! The camera pans out to reveal Sniz, Fondue, General Barracuda, Bubble Bass, Bonnie, Toddler Rube, and all of the contestants, sitting around an outside bonfire, while Amusement Park letters turn on, and says: "Total Cartoon Paradise City, Created By Jason Cantu;" and the sequence ends when the Guns N' Roses song "Paradise City" ends! / Guns N' Roses sing (an edited version of) their song, "Paradise City": "Take me down to the Paradise City; where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home? Take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home? (Instrumental Break) Just an urchin living under the street, I'm a hard case that's tough to beat. I'm your charity case, so buy me something to eat. I'll pay you at another time, take it to the end of the line! Rags and riches, or so they say, you gotta keep pushing for the fortune and fame! You know it's all a gamble when it's just a game. You treat it like a capital crime, everybody's doing the time! Take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home? Yeah-yeah! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh won't you please take me home? Yeah-yeah! (Guitar solo) So far–away, so far–away; so far–away, so far–away! Captain America's been torn apart, now! He's a court jester with a broken heart! He said, 'Turn me around and take me back to the start'. I must be losing my mind; are you blind?! I've seen it all a million times! Take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home, yeah-yeah! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home; yeah-yeah! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh won't you please take me home, yeah-yeah! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home?! Home! Yeah! I wanna go, I wanna know! Oh, won't you please take me home?! I wanna see, how good it can be! Oh, won't you please take me home?! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home?! Take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home?! Take me down (oh yeah), spin me around! Oh, won't you please take me home?! I wanna see, how good it can be! Oh, won't you please take me home?! I wanna see, how good it can be! Oh, take me home?! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home?! I wanna go, I wanna know! Oh, won't you please take me home?! Yeah!" / And the epic song ends! / "You've Got Another Thing Comin'!" The camera opens back up on the "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" plane, and Sniz says: "Welcome back to Total Cartoon Paradise City; we're just 15 minutes away from Paradise, Nevada; which gives us just enough time to get acquainted with our 14 contestants who are about to embark on a 14 episode journey with us this season! How prepared are they to face this season?! We will soon find out!" The camera pans to the main cabin, where the contestants are mentally gearing themselves up for the upcoming season...well, SOME of them are, anyways! And Skeeter says: "Yeah, Doug couldn't believe it EITHER when I turned out to be smarter than HE is, either! I mean, I certainly couldn't believe it; since I'm such an oddball! Honk-honk! I mean, when I talk, I often can't help making Beep-Beep! strange sounds like that Ooga-Ooga! And the like! That's one of the reasons I Ring-Ring! Signed up for this season, so maybe I can Boop-Boop! Get a hold on controlling it!" Sheen says: "Genius you may be, but you are POWERLESS before the ultimate power of Ultra Lord, famed protector and HERO of the universe, who protects the powerless and the weak, for a fair, but honest wage because HE'S got to eat TO, you know!" Franz Flubb says: "What I DON'T understand is, WHY do I got to compete on this season with YOU, anyways?!" Guapo Flubb says: "Come on! You're ACTING like this is one of those trips to one of those planets that we DON'T know anything about! We KNOW where we're going to THIS time; it's Planet Earth! And this time, I'm 85% SURE that we WON'T run into ANYTHING that can bite, chew, mangle, burn, massacre, chomp, gnash, cut, bruise, maim, scar, peck, scratch, claw, choke, electrocute, drown, strangle, punch, kick, or bleed us, or ANY and ALL possible combinations of the above!" Gordon Quid does an air-fist pump, and he says: "FINALLY! After FIVE seasons of trying, I'm FINALLY a contestant on this show! Maybe if I do well enough as a contestant THIS season, maybe it will get the Human Kimberly to fall in love with me!" Henry scoffs, and he says: "YOU'RE in love with actress Amy Jo Johnson; a former Power Ranger?!" Gordon asks: "Who said anything about an actress?! I'm talking about Human Kimberly, a human girl who is my EXACT age!" Henry gets a puzzled look, than seriously asks: "Just HOW old are you; anyways?" Gordon says: "I'm six, the PERFECT age for a cat to get married! Why?" Henry face-palms himself, and he says: "Bro, you're going to be in for a WORLD of complaints and a HORRIFYING realization when YOU figure out the truth!" Gordon asks: "What truth?" Henry says: "If you HAVE to ask me, you'll never know!" Abby comes waltzing by, and he says: "Don't knock the guy down just because he has a weird love! I mean, I love my Otis even THOUGH he has a rare, genetic disorder which gives him female cow udders!" Henry asks: "THAT'S a genetic disorder, and NOT the animators being STUPID?!!!" Abby says: "Who said anything about animators? All I know for sure is that, I LOVE Otis genetic disorder or none, and I'm competing on this show to show him just how GREAT of a girlfriend/future potential wife I will be to him!" Squilliam Fancyson, utilizing an Inner Monologue, says: "Look at ALL these worthless morons, talking and chatting as if THEY actually have a chance to BEAT me! They won't! I thought for SURE that Squidward was LYING when he said that HE got to be a contestant on this show! If I had known that THIS show was THAT desperate for contestants, I would've signed on and got on before HE had! But no matter, I'll still last longer than he EVER did easily! Especially since I'm SURROUNDED by IDIOTS whose combined intelligence don't even equal 1/44th of MY intelligence, and my intellect and superior skills is going to run CIRCLES around those metaphorical, and in one case, LITERAL Protozoans without breaking a sweat!" Plankton yells: "HELLO!!!! I'm RIGHT HERE!!!! We can HEAR every single WORD that you are SAYING!!!!" Squilliam asks: "That was out LOUD?!!! I was SURE that conversation was ONLY taking place in my MIND; not that it matters in the slightest, none of you have an intellectual chance against me anyways!" Karen face-palms herself, and she says: "Oh, BROTHER!!!! If I had a NICKEL for every time some BLOW-HARD like Bulma said they were going to use THEIR intellectual prowess to beat everyone else, I'd have...TWO nickels!!!! Which...isn't a lot, but it's WEIRD that it's happened twice, right?!" Plankton says: "You SAID it, Karen! But why did YOU want to come on this season with me, anyways? I've got MORE than enough intellect and EVIL for the both of us!" Karen sighs, and she says: "I'm ONLY along, to see that you don't get into TOO much PAIN and TROUBLE!!!!" Plankton says: "The trouble part? I highly DOUBT that! But PAIN?!!! That's the one thing I hate more than anything else! You're hired!" Karen says: "I HAVE to be, I'm the ONLY woman, digital or otherwise, who is EMPLOYED by you!" Squidina Star says: "I'm SO excited to BE a contestant on THIS show, aren't you?!" Lori Loud, sitting right next to her, opens up a compact make-up case, and not even CHANGING her bored expression in the slightest, she sarcastically says: "Biggest thrill of MY life!" Squidina TOTALLY doesn't get her sarcasm, and she says: "I know, RIGHT?! My older brother competed on THREE seasons of this show! He technically WON the third season, but he gave up his title so that Reggie Rocket could have it!" Lori rolls her eyes, as if not BELIEVING her story, and Lori asks: "And I suppose that the reason why YOU'RE competing is to WIN the title that he gave away?" Squidina, gets a hurt, nervous look, and laughing nervously, she says: "Well, yeah; kind of! I'm mostly doing this as an apology to my Home Economics Teacher, long story; and while it's one thing to run a show--which I do very well--but it's another entirely to BE a contestant on the show! That's the main reason why I'm here, to gain valuable LIFE experience!" Lori Loud actually gets a DEVIOUS smile on her face, and she says, "Oh, I'll make SURE you'll get a valuable life experience; one way or another!" Freddy Ferret nervously asks: "So, uh; Squilivia, is it?" Squilivia says: "Yes, I am." Freddy nervously asks: "You, uh, aren't worried about this competition TOO, are you?" Squilivia says: "DEFINE; 'Worried'." Freddy nervously says: "Well...what if you're nervous...say, for example, that you harbor a ROMANTIC love for a rooster that you could NEVER eat, not even if your OWN life depended on it, and you just want to marry that rooster and despite ALL odds, have weird, but adorable ferret/rooster hybrid children together despite the fact that MOST ferrets and roosters would probably never accept THAT?!!!...Which is TOTALLY not the reason that I'm NERVOUS at all! I'm nervous about something else! Like...taking a walk on the beach! Or a good book! Or...the beach!" Lori gets exasperated, and she says: "You said 'Beach', twice!" Freddy nervously says: "Well, I...thought of it twice!" Skeeter Valentine imitates a drum kick and says: "Duh-duh-duh-duh!!!!" Lori rolls her eyes, and she says: "I am SO over that drum kick NONSENSE!" Squilivia says: "Well, if I AM nervous about ANYTHING, I'm keeping THAT nervousness to myself! You can be completely honest with YOUR weird rooster love--." Freddy nervously says: "Who told I was in love with Peck the Rooster!!!!" Karen bluntly says: "You kind of did, just now!" Freddy nervously says: "I wasn't telling anybody anything! I was just...thinking out loud!" Henry says: "VERY loud!" Abby says: "Come on, Freddy! Nobody at our barnyard thinks of YOU any different for WHO you love!" Freddy says: "Yeah, AT our barnyard! What I fantasize about doing...which I won't mention in order to keep our PG rating...with a guy who MAY or MAY not be Peck; is NOBODY'S business OUTSIDE of OUR barnyard except MY business and the guy who MAY or may not be Peck!" Squilivia says: "And THAT is why you are GOING to lose to ME, because your mind is on who you love and NOT the competition! The only thing I've got MY eyes on, is the Grand Prize itself!" Squilliam turns around, and actually NOTICES Squilivia for the first time, and his heart nearly jumps FROM his heart cavity up to his THROAT, but he STOPS it from exiting out of his mouth and FORCES it back down, and Squilliam romantically says: "Woman, where have YOU been all MY life?!" Gordon groans, and he says: "OY! And I thought I was love-struck!" Squilivia turns around, and she says: "Excuse me?" Squilliam romantically says: "I never before realized just how...incredibly GORGEOUS a woman who looks a LOT like ME, could look like!" Henry face-palms himself, and he loudly asks: "THAT'S the best pick-up line you can come up with?! Even I could do BETTER than that, and I haven't even DATED yet...unless you count June, and I sure don't!" Squilliam romantically says: "You're so...tall, attractive, squishy, with not a stray hair out of place on your head. Your...radiant beauty would perfectly compliment MY utter perfection!" Squilivia gets weirded out, and says: "Look; I appreciate your ATTEMPT to be nice and friendly with me; but the thing of it is; I'm not EXACTLY looking for a--." But Squilivia DOESN'T get to finish her thought, as Sniz loudly announces over the loudspeakers: "Conversation time is over, contestants! We're five minutes away from the Drop Zone! So named because we are LITERALLY going to drop you to where our competition is being held! So, I suggest you hurry up and grab your parachute bags! But be warned; COSMO was the one who prepared them, and I can't FULLY guarantee that ALL of those parachutes are going to be working parachutes!" Sheen Estevez says: "Not to worry! Ultralord doesn't fear pain, and neither do I!" Lori Loud scoffs, and she says: "I'm sure YOU don't!" Sniz says: "Not to worry! If you DON'T get a working parachute, and you can't grab onto somebody who HAS one, Wanda is LEGALLY required to magically slow you down so that you can land safely, and WHERE you land, will determine which team you're going to be on this season!" Franz Flubb says: "Out of my way, I NEED a working parachute and a team AWAY from Guapo! And he shoves everyone else out of the way and grabs the first parachute bag he can, and everyone else quickly grabs a parachute bag, with Guapo nervously being the last one to grab one! Sniz says: "All right, contestants; we're 30,000 feat above the target zone; plenty of time to open up a parachute, or grab onto a contestant who has a parachute! Contestants, you're on!" Squidina says: "Yes! CHALLENGE!!!!" Gordon says: "Here we go!" Franz Flubb says: "On YOUR tail!" Sheen Estevez says: "BANZAI!" Skeeter imitates trumpet fan-fare and says: "Duh-duh-duh-DUH!!!! DUH!!!!" Freddy goes up to the door, but holds himself back, before he goes out of it! Abby confidently says: "Go on, Freddy! Show THEM your stuff!" Freddy says: "You know, that burst of confidence is all the convincing I need to ACTUALLY do this! SURF'S UP!!!!" Abby turns to everyone else and she says: "Catch you on the flip side!" And the other contestants jump out of the plane, as a familiar Tom Petty hit song, "Free Fallin"; plays while everyone is falling. Tom Petty sings: "She's a good girl, loves her mama. Loves Jesus and America to. She's a good girl, who's crazy 'bout Elvis. Loves horses and her boyfriend too. And it's a long day, livin' in Reseda; there's a freeway, runnin' through the yard. And I'm a bad boy, 'cause I don't even miss her. I'm a bad boy for breakin' her heart. And I'm free, free fallin'! Yeah I'm free, free fallin'! All the vampires, walkin' through the valley, move west down Ventura Boulevard. And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows, and the good girls are home with broken hearts. And I'm free, I'm free fallin'! Yeah I'm free, free fallin'! Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a; Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin'. I wanna glide down over Mulholland. I wanna write her name in the sky. I'm gonna free fall out into nothin'. Gonna leave this world for a while! Now I'm free, free fallin'! (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a) Yeah I'm free, free fallin'! (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a) (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a) Yeah I'm free, free fallin'! Oh! (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a) Free fallin'! (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a) And I'm free, oh, free fallin'! (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin'.") / And the song ends as everyone tries to open their parachutes, only Skeeter gets a plunger and imitating sad trumpet fan-fare says: "Wah-wah-wah!" Sheen Estevez gets a giant INFLATABLE UltraLord doll, and he says: "I KNEW UltraLord would SAVE the day!" And Skeeter has to quickly grab ON to the Inflatable UltraLord doll! Franz Flubb says: "Come on, parachute!" But he opens it up, and he gets a 16 TON ANVIL!!!! Franz screams: "Are you FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!!" But Guapo opens HIS parachute, and it's a normal parachute, and Franz seeing no BETTER alternatives, grabs onto Guapo, and Franz begrudingly says: "I guess you're not COMPLETELY useless!" Gordon Quid opens up his parachute, only to get a 20 ounce bottle of root beer! Gordon says: "You know, I normally LIKE root beer, but this is not the time or place!" Abby opens up HER parachute and she says: "Grab onto me, we can float down together!" Gordon says: "I'll be fine! Cats ALWAYS land on their feet!" Henry opens up his parachute only to pull out an actual LIVE Thunder Girl! Henry says: "I got YOU?!!!" Thunder Girl triumphantly says: "Thunder Girl, will fly you to safety, before you do hit ground!" Henry says: "Normally, I'd argue about how thunder technically can't fly, but I'm TOO desperate to be picky!" And Thunder Girl grabs Henry by the waist underneath his arms, and flies him down to the ground! Squilliam Fancyson opens up his parachute, but it turns out to be a GIANT TIKI HEAD like the one Squidward lives in, and a recorded voice FROM Squidward says: "It took me 25 years to pull this off, but the Karma YOUR getting is SO worth it!" Squilliam screams: "What did I EVER DO to DESERVE THIS?!!! (BEAT) I MEAN, SPECIFICALLY?!!!" Squilivia opens up HER parachute, and she says: "Quick, grab my tentacle!" Squilliam asks: "Which one?!" Squilivia not having TIME to think, says: "ANY of them!" And Squilliam DESPERATELY grabs as many of her tentacles as he can, and Squilivia says: "I said, 'ANY', not 'ALL'!!!!" Gordon says: "Technically speaking, 'All' IS 'Any'!" And Skeeter imitates another drum kick and says: "Duh-duh-duh-duh!!!!" Karen opens up her parachute, and she says: "A functioning parachute, MY analysis is once again 100% correct!" Plankton opens up his parachute, but gets a HUGE (even for his tiny mecha) Chum Bucket, and he screams: "KAREN!!!! DO SOMETHING TO HELP ME!!!!" Karen BRIEFLY considers it, but she says: "No, I'm NOT going to help you. In fact, I'm NOT even going to call the Hospital for you, because you WON'T learn anything if I do!" Squidina opens up her parachute, and she says: "Yes! I AM the brains in MY family!" Lori Loud opens up her parachute, but gets Sergio the Parrot! Lori says: "It's not like YOU have a lot of competition!" Lori in desperation, grabs Sergio, who STRUGGLES to float the both of them down! Lori says: "Fly faster, fly harder; fly, FLY!!!!" Sergio says: "Excuse ME, Lori, how FAST and how FAR would you have to fall before YOU reach Terminal Velocity?!" And Lori quickly gets HIS point, and shuts up, and he says: "That's what I thought!" Freddy opens his parachute, but INSTEAD gets Peck's molten rooster feathers! Freddy says: "Cosmo TOO?!!! WAIT!!!! I still have time; I can make this work!" And weaving the molten rooster wings together, he makes a pair of make-shift wings, and is able to glide safely down to the ground. Freddy says: "Oh, THANK you Peck! Who would have ever thought that the fact that you molt would actually SAVE me?!" And everyone else eventually lands on the ground safely, with Skeeter, Sheen, Gordon, Henry, Karen, Lori, and Plankton (landing painfully as he yells: "OUCH!!!!") landing in a symbol area with a Green Crocodile, and Franz Flubb, Abby, Squilliam Fancyson, Guapo Flubb, Squidina Star, Squilivia, and Freddy Ferret landing in a symbol area with a Pink Flamingo! Sniz comes flying down in a working jet-pack, and he says: "Congratulations on MOST of you landing safely, except Plankton!" Karen looks at Plankton, as she picks up Plankton off of the ground, and back on his Mini-Mecha feet. Karen says: "I wouldn't worry about him, he's been through MUCH worse! Trust me on THAT one!" Sniz says: "In any case, where you landed; now represents the teams you will be representing this season! Everyone who landed on the Green Crocodile emblem, is now a member of the Killer Crocodiles!" Plankton recovers, and he says: "Oh, YEAH!!!! I'm a KILLER Crocodile! Let Mr. Krabs TRY and STOP me NOW!!!!" Skeeter imitates a crocodile, and he says: "Chomp-Chomp!!!!" Sheen says: "No, no, no! That's a space ALLIGATOR from episode 238 Section A of 'The Ultra Lord Show'!" Henry seriously asks: "Were there EVEN 65 episodes of 'The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron', let alone YOUR failed spin-off?!" Sheen asks: "WHO'S the Ultra-Lord expert and President of his Fan-Club?!" Gordon rolls his eyes, and says: "You are!" Sheen says: "That's right! And don't you forget it!" Lori groans, and she says: "I don't think we will be ABLE to forget it even if we WANTED to, because I'm SURE you will be reminding us every FIVE SECONDS!!!!" Sheen scoffs and says: "I don't talk about--!!" Sheen catches himself as he REALIZES Lori is LISTENING, and Sheen struggles, and says: "...HIM; that much! I can STOP talking about WHAT'S HIS FACE anytime I want!" Henry asks: "How about FOREVER; can you DO THAT?!!!" Sheen says: "I said, 'ANYTIME', not 'FOREVER'!" Sniz says: "Technically speaking, 'Forever' IS 'Anytime', and DON'T make a drum kick sound, Skeeter!" Skeeter gets a dejected look, and imitating the "Losing Horns" sound from "The Price Is Right", he says: "Duh, duh, duh, duh, wahhhhhhh!" Fondue says: "Should've let him do the drum-kick!" Sniz scoffs, and he says: "He'll live! And everyone who landed on the Pink Flamingoes emblem, is now a member of the Fearless Flamingos!" Guapo says: "Of COURSE we are! Who could be more fearless than WE are?!" Franz angrily says: "Maybe YOU'RE fearless, but I'm not! I just want to get through this STUPID competition, win the STUPID $1.4 million as quickly and PAINLESSLY as possible, use that money to hire my OWN flight partner to deliver packages with, and NEVER have to be in PAIN with YOU again as long as I live!" Guapo throws his hands up in the air, and he asks: "What did I ever do to HIM?! Well...maybe I did SOMETHING to warrant his anger...nothing comes to mind at the moment." Abby says: "I actually AGREE on my being fearless! No matter what comes my way, I face it fearlessly, and bravely!" Squilliam scoffs, and says: "EXCUSE me; 'Fearlessly', and 'Bravely' are the exact SAME adjectives!" Abby says: "Irrelevant! Doesn't make it any less true!" Squidina says: "Exactly! My brother might not ALWAYS know what he talks about, but at least he's smart enough to know that I always know what I'M always talking about, and he respects my knowledge to help him make HIS show the best it can be, even if we had to experiment to get to what it currently is!" Squilivia says: "I'm just hoping that my being a Fearless Flamingo will put me in a good position to win the grand prize! I'm NOT going to be arrogant like Tigress, and I'm NOT going to be full of myself like Bulma was! I will play this season on my own terms!" Freddy gets an idea and says: "Playing on your OWN terms? That...actually sounds like a GOOD idea!" Sniz says: "Well, you can play on your OWN terms, as LONG as they fall within OUR rules! Speaking of, New Rule we are implementing from THIS season onwards! Thanks to Spongebob Squarepant's stunt of voting for himself in challenges where he HAD immunity or a pendant to nullify his own vote; from now on, you will no longer be allowed to vote yourself off in elimination ceremonies. You have to either outright quit, be eliminated by Med Evac, do something SO dangerously bad or illegal to FORCE you to be barred from the competition, or be voted off by your fellow contestants!" Squilliam gives everyone else the once over again, and he says: "Yeah, I don't think there will be any worries of THAT happening for ME this season; especially since I have Squilivia to look forward to!" Squilivia says: "About that, what I was saying BEFORE I was interrupted--." Sniz says: "You'll have plenty of time to talk LATER! Besides, this season, you probably WOULDN'T want to vote for yourself anyways! Because this season, not only will SKILL be involved; Luck will ALSO be a big factor in determining the winner this season!" Sheen asks: "How is THAT possible?!" Franz Flubb scoffs, and says: "Judging by HIS luck, I'd say, 'Not for long'!" Gordon says: "Like YOU'RE one to talk!" Franz says: "Same to YOU, buddy!" Guapo gets in between the two, and says: "Guys, we're all REASONABLE adults here...Squidina and OBVIOUSLY Plankton excluded!" Plankton yells: "How DARE you lump me in with HER?! I'm much more...adultish than what's her face there!" Karen sarcastically says: "BRILLIANT English skills there, Mr. College Goer!" Plankton genuinely says: "THANK YOU!!!!" Karen yells: "That WASN'T a compliment!" Plankton says: "I'm STILL going to take it as one!" Karen rolls her electronic eyes, and says: "Somehow, I FIGURED you would!" Sniz says: "Anyways, like I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted; the way it's going to work this season, is that like always; the two teams will fight against each other which will pit your athletic and mental skills against each other, in games that revolve around both a good factor of skill and luck! After each challenge, the team that loses will have to vote someone off in an Elimination Ceremony! You will use the Play Token of the contestant you want to eliminate, as long as it's not yourself, into the Slot Machine! Once all the Token's have been inserted, we will give chocolate coin tokens to the safe contestants. However, the Luck Factor will kick in on the last two contestants! Since this is Nevada, where luck plays a factor in more things than usual in the rest of the world, the last two contestants will have to face each other in a Luck Showdown!" Henry asks: "What's a Luck Showdown?" Sniz says: "The last two contestants will be asked to hit a magical floating dice block above their head, provided by Wanda. The dice block will give you any number between 1 and 10, as long as it's a whole number. And don't worry; there's NO chance of a tie! Wanda has magically made it so that whoever gets a number first, the other contestant CAN'T get it. Whoever gets the highest number, will be safe from elimination! Whoever gets the lowest number, REGARDLESS of whether they got the most amount of votes or not; don't blame me, blame your own luck or lack there-of, will be eliminated by our brand-new, state of the art, totally ROCKING, LITERALLY blast-worthy, elimination soaring...CANNON! CANNON! CANNON! CANNON! OF! OF! OF! OF! SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!" Sniz pauses and hears an echoing: "CANNON OF SHAME! CANNON OF SHAME! CANNON OF SHAME! CANNON OF SHAME!" Sniz says: "Pretty clever, huh?" Freddy actually finds it funny, and laughs; and he says: "Haven't seen THAT gag in a while!" Sniz says: "And per our usual tradition, we would appreciate it very much if every now and than, you make a Confessional, so the TV audience can know your personal thoughts! This time, the normal Confessional will take place in our state of the art, all you can eat cafeteria buffet...for the right price of course! However, if you ARE eliminated; once you are shot out of the Cannon of Shame and land, you will have to make an Elimination Confessional. That officially means you are OUT of the Contest and you can NEVER come back EVER!" And Skeeter nervously says: "GULP!!!!" Lori sarcastically says: "That's actually the most SENSIBLE thing that I've heard HIM say so far!" Abby still doesn't GET Lori's sarcasm, and Abby says: "It's not so much, 'Sensible', more like it's an exclamation of nervousness." And Lori face-palms herself in frustration! (Confessional) Freddy Ferret says: "So, I was thinking about what Squilivia said, about playing the game on her own terms. I suppose if I want to have a real shot of winning, I better play on my own terms to! Look, the truth of the matter is, that I really DO love Peck the Rooster romantically...a lot! I mean, how could I not?! He's got the prettiest eyes, the most gorgeous feathers, and when he gives you a rooster smile...makes a ferret like me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Besides, Stimpy, Dog, and Bubble Bass ALL played for the love of someone else to SOME degree, and they all won! If I play for the love of Peck, I figure that I at least HAVE a decent shot! Besides, I've learned by watching from other contestants, that trying to keep the truth under wraps, no matter for WHAT reason you might have; NEVER tends to end well! So, when the right moment presents itself, I'll tell EVERYONE the truth about how I feel about Peck; than I'll be able to play the game with...well, at least one LESS thing to worry about!" / Sheen says: "The only terms of the game that I want to be playing on are UltraLord's! But...since I don't know where he currently is, I suppose that I have to do the best I can, playing the way that UltraLord would play this game! Now, I know I might not be as smart as Jimmy, or as tough as Tigress, or as resourceful as Bubble Bass, or as pretty as Zarbon, or as strong as Larry, or...now that I think about it, I REALLY thought I would be able to come up with SOME really great trait to fall back on in my analogy! Eh, I guess I'll just have to be as heroic as Super Chum! That's MY best shot of winning this season!" / Franz Flubb scoffs and he says: "Miss Boom-De-Ay might be FORCING me to work with Guapo to promote HER delivery service; but when all is said and done, I'm NOT doing this game because I particularly ENJOY being employed by her WITH my brother! (Guapo sticks his head in WITHOUT Franz even REALIZING it) My boss only hired HIM because SHE finds HIM more attractive than ME! How THAT is even possible; I'm not sure I even WANT to know! All I know is, with the prize money that I win, I can afford to make my OWN delivery routes; delivery routes where I WON'T be subject to pain, misery, and be FORCED to laugh at Guapo's idea of what he calls 'Jokes'!" And Guapo quickly zooms OUT of the Confessional without Franz even noticing! / Guapo gasps in shock, and he says: "I can't believe my OWN brother would actually THINK that! First off; Miss Boom-De-Ay actually finds ME attractive? First time I've EVER heard THAT from her! But more importantly; how can Franz HATE working with me THAT much?! I mean, do I ever put HIM into danger, on PURPOSE?! There's SUPPOSED to be some risk in delivering packages to planets most OTHER explorers don't go to! That's the whole REASON why they call it 'Mostly Unexplored Space'! Expecting there to be zero danger and zero risk, is like expecting EVERYTHING in life to be handed to you on a Silver Platter, and where's the real joy and gratification in THAT?! Everybody's got to start somewhere; there's no WAY Franz could be THAT close to the bottom as HE seems to think he is! But the way he talked?! He seems to THINK like he deserves to be as rich and successful as Orson Welles as Charles Foster Kane in 'Citizen Kane'! And SPOILER ALERT, neither the title character's life nor Orson Welles' life DON'T really end that well!" / Gordon Quid asks: "What in the world does Henry find WRONG with me loving a girl my OWN age? Even if she IS a human, I've certainly NEVER pressured her to do anything she doesn't WANT to do! If she WANTS a relationship with me, she can have it on HER terms in the way SHE wants! That's the way a TRUE gentleman has a relationship with someone THEY like, hopefully romantically!" / Henry scoffs, and he says: "Am I going to be the one to break the AWFUL truth to Gordon? Absolutely NOT if I can avoid it! I learned a long time ago, that if you MESS with the relationship of a couple, no matter how ONE-SIDED it is, you do it alone! And I mean ALONE!!!!" / Abby says: "Originally, I actually auditioned to be on 'Total Cartoon Global Cruise'. But apparently, they already HAD all the singing characters they wanted or they needed for that season. Even if it's not REQUIRED, I do hope we get the chance to DO some songs this season! I mean, we're in NEVADA; one of the entertainment capitals of the world! If you CAN'T sing here, I'm not sure WHERE you can sing!" / Squilliam Fancyson scratches his chin, and he says: "Hmmm, I wonder WHAT Squilivia WANTED to tell me before she was so RUDELY interrupted? Who am I KIDDING?!!! She OBVIOUSLY wants to tell me that she's ABSOLUTELY NUTS about a guy like me! And quite frankly, you can't BLAME her! I'm SMARTER than Squidward, AND more attractive, and I don't live next to two brain dead idiots who gave UP a title of winning a season of this show and genuinely LOST a chance to win a title of a season of this show respectively!" / Squilivia groans in frustration, and she says: "I'm not sure if Squilliam would understand, or how well he would take it...IF he takes it well at all, but I simply can't AFFORD to have a relationship this season! I know in terms of how these seasons have panned out, historically; contestants who didn't PLAY for someone they love didn't tend to do very well. But as far as I'm concerned, that means that this show is OVERDUE for someone who played AND won this game WITHOUT doing it for love! Besides, I have a healthy, non-ceited love for myself as a woman, and as a cephalopod. And that's all the love that I really need at the moment!" / Plankton says: "You really want to know why I'm competing on THIS show? It's because I'm SICK and tired of always somehow losing to Mr. Krabs and his PATHETIC excuse for employees; especially when only ONE of them is almost CONSTANTLY loyal to Mr. Krabs no matter what Mr. Krabs does! I figure that with the prize money I WILL earn when I finally WIN this season, I will be able to PAY scientists to find a way to make my Chum more edible, more healthy! And most importantly, more profitable! That way, I wouldn't NEED to waste my time with suffering pain and agony trying to unsuccessfully steal Mr. Krabs' Secret Formula, I'd have my own! And just LET Mr. Krabs try to steal MINE! Boy, will HE be in for a nasty SURPRISE!!!! MWA, HA, HA, HA!!!!" / Karen groans, and she says: "Evil gloating, first sign of a villain on a fast track to losing, and losing BADLY!!!! Does Plankton WANT to be the first contestant to be booted OFF of this show?! If so, he's doing a very good job! It's a good thing I signed on for this season to use my patented analysis abilities! The way I see it, he's going to NEED every ounce of computer data processing power that I can muster!" / Squidina says: "So...this is the first time I'm USING this Confessional thing...which I...guess is sort of obvious! I really THOUGHT that I would have something more CLEVER to say for my first time here. But now that I AM here, I'm kind of STUMPED! I mean, my brother, for his MANY short-comings and flaws; made speaking in a Confessional look SO easy! And for me it's like...HARD! I guess, that's just one of those skills I'm going to have to get the hang of! Nobody ever SAID competing in this game was going to be easy; but when was the last time anything TRULY fun and rewarding, was ever easy? I'm sure there have been SOME things in history...nothing comes to mind at the moment." / Lori is busy powdering her noes, and she says: "Look, I HAVE to win this season! Hello! I am 18 years old, and I am SO done living in an over-crowded house with ten other siblings! Whenever any of MY younger siblings, and my siblings are ALL younger than me; whenever they HAVE a problem, which TRUST me, is OFTEN; whenever Mom, or Dad, or someone SMART isn't available; they almost always run to me, crying and WHINING for me to solve their problems! I'm the OLDEST sister; I'm not THEIR magical Nanny or whatever, flying down on an umbrella to give them sugar with their medicine! Besides, that's not healthy OR that recommended! Besides, if ANY member of the Loud family had a CHANCE of winning one of these season's, it's GOING to be me! I AM the oldest, the smartest, AND the most attractive; and I don't dye my hair black or white like SOME of my siblings do!" / Skeeter, as if riffing off the LAST comment, immitates the familiar sound of "You Can't Do That On Television", and says: "Da-na-na-da-na-na, na!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Now that we've gotten your first Confessionals out of the way, it's time to meet some of our new Contestant Helper's, who helped build Paradise City and put everything in their proper place. And they will ALSO be helping judge and referee this season as needed." Bonnie Bass jogs in, wearing her trademark track suit. Bubble Bass floats down in on bubbles, and Blonda and Toddler Rube both magically 'Poof' in. Squilliam asks: "These are YOUR helpers?!" Bubble Bass says: "Watch what you say! By MY calculations, I've actually managed to get FAR more screen-time than YOU have on Spongebob Sqarepants alone by this point! And unlike you, I at least HAVE some humility and empathy, and I KNOW when I NEED to give it!" Squidina says: "OOH, he's got you THERE, Squilliam!" Squilliam says: "Don't talk to ME like YOU'RE a somebody; I make it a point to have as LITTLE social contact with LOSERS as is universally possible!" Sheen says: "Don't look now, you're already LOSING!" Henry actually STOPS, and thinks: "Wait a minute, is Sheen talking about LOSING to a Loser; just losing in general, or losing this challenge?" Karen says: "If I HAD to guess, my analysis tells me its some combination of all of the ABOVE!!!!" (Confessional) Henry says: "If that's NOT an Achievement In Ignorance, I don't know WHAT is!" / Sheen says: "Jimmy Neutron once told me that even a broken clock is right at least twice a day...whatever THAT means! Fortunately for me, UltraLord has a clock that is SO atomically precise, the odds that it is EVER wrong, are so astronomically low, as to be next to IMPOSSIBLE of ever actually happening! I just got to have the mind set of a heroic winner, and eventually; I'll win!" / Franz Flubb says: "And I thought that Guapo had some 'Insane Troll Logic'!" / Guapo says: "Insane Troll Logic? Is THAT what he's calling my reasoning skills now?" / Bubble Bass says: "Believe me, I'm just as surprised as ANYBODY to be back on this show, even if I'm technically WORKING and not a contestant! But I'm apparently so popular 'In-Universe', Sniz wanted to have me back, even if I wasn't a contestant! So this time, I brought my WHOLE family along! Of course, if I had known that it would eventually include...my father who I love VERY much in spite of flaws he SAYS he doesn't have; I probably would've asked for MORE money up front!" / Blonda says: "Taking care of a magical, talking fish toddler? That's ONE thing! Having to deal with Bubble Bass' Father?! That's a different beast entirely! And the only reason why I can say THAT is because I HAVE magic! Otherwise, I wouldn't recommend it, at ALL!!!!" (End Confessional) And as if on cue, loud stomping is heard, and it causes the lake to ripple! Sheen asks: "Is that a Space Tyrannosaurus Rex from Episode 1, Section A of 'The UltraLord Show'?!" Franz screams: "STOP MAKING BARF UP!!!! You're WORSE THAN MY BROTHER!!!!" Abby says: "How DARE you?!!! If you WEREN'T Guapo's brother, and I DIDN'T respect Guapo as a man honestly TRYING to do his best, and I weren't such a PROPER lady, I'd SLUG you!!!!" Franz says: "Try it and GET a Penalty Vote or four! I DARE--!!!!" But Franz NEVER gets to finish his thought, as he his decked HALFWAY across "Paradise City" by General Barracuda, who begins getting SHOCKED by a Shock Collar! Sniz sighs, and says: "And that's our...final Contestant Helper for this show. Our own Horatio Barracuda the First! But play it smart, and call him General Barracuda; you'll LIVE longer!" General Barracuda says: "AGH!!!! Why am I--AGH!!!!--Getting shocked by this--AGH!!!!--STUPID--AGH!!!!--COLLAR!!!!--AGH!!!!" Sniz groans, and he says: "General, I went OVER this on the phone with you. Your irrational anger with Spongebob LAST season was TOTALLY uncalled for, and what did it ACCOMPLISH? You FAILED to stop Spongebob from playing in the Final Challenge, and he STILL lost honestly ANYWAYS, without ANY outside assistance from you!" General Barracuda says: "Still doesn't explain--AGH!!!!--Why I'm--AGH!!!!--Having to wear this--AGH!!!!--STUPID--AGH!!!!--THING!!!!--AGH!!!!" Sniz says: "Look, Bonnie, Bubble Bass, Blonda, and Rube ALL agreed to be on this season to help YOU with your Anger Management lessons, in order for Bonnie to want to STAY married to you, and for Bubble Bass and Blonda to WANT you in the life of Rube! And to make sure you're actually LEARNING how to express your anger in a HEALTHY way and not EXPLODE irrationally at the drop of a hat, I had Blonda poof up a little extra insurance for you! An Automatic Anger Shock Collar to mildly shock you whenever you get irrationally angry. OR, whenever we need a good laugh! Sound fair?" General Barracuda scoffs, and without a single TRACE of sarcasm, he says: "You're kidding, right?! Do you have ANY idea on what MY life was like working for Master Coelaceanth?! He fitted ME with a Shock Collar in order to turn me into a rational, compassionate fish so that I wouldn't threaten to strangle any new help who wanted to work for him. TOTALLY worked like a charm!" Bonnie sighs, and says: "That's sadly, one of the more HONEST things I've ever heard him say." Sniz says: "Regardless, that Shock Collar is going to stay ON General Barracuda until he learns HOW to express his anger properly! Oh, and don't get ANY funny ideas about trying to REMOVE that Shock Collar! That Shock Collar is designed to give you SO much pain if you try to FORCIBLY remove, it will KNOCK you into a coma...until Nintendo finally decides to RELEASE the 'Earthbound' sequel from the Game Boy Advance! Boy, never thought I'd LIVE to see the day where I actually HOPED that 'Tempting Fate' would actually WORK!" General Barracuda groans, and he says: "Fine! I'll...try to behave and become a better fish!" General Barracuda, as if mustering ALL his available strength, points to Bubble Bass, and says: "I'll...do it...for...HIM!!!!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Wow! I never thought I would LIVE to see the day when I would become SOMEBODY'S 'Morality Pet', let alone my own Father's! If that kind of crazy thing can happen on the FIRST episode of this season, who knows what other kinds of crazy things can happen?!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Contestants, it's time to pack your bags. The Killer Crocodiles with stay at our replica Luxor Hotel; the Fearless Flamingos will stay at our replica Flamingo Hotel. We got to take a break, but when we come back, we will do our first challenge of Total Cartoon Paradise City!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

It's time for the second and final part of my episode, "You've Got Another Thing Coming!" / After the commercials end, the contestants are looking at the Steamboat, now painted in BEAUTIFUL colors, but they are puzzled as to why the Steamboat looks like it's starting to sink into the man-made lagoon! Sheen says: "I've seen some weird things on 'The UltraLord Show', but he's NEVER gone on an adventure like this!" Gordon asks: "Is THAT the only thing you get REFERENCE from?!" Sheen asks: "Is there anything ELSE worthwhile?!" Henry rolls his eyes and says: "I could think of SEVERAL things that are just as equally, if not MORE worthwhile; but for the sake of time and interest, I won't mention them here." Franz waves his hand eagerly, and he cheerfully says: "All right! VERY VALUABLE contestant right here, come up and get in an alliance with me--NOT GUAPO!!!!" Abby scoffs, and she says: "With THAT snotty attitude?! Not if you were the LAST...whatever you're supposed to be from WHATEVER planet you're originally from!" Squidina says: "I agree. A GOOD alliance comes from building trust and GIVING as much as you are GETTING!!!!" Franz sputters in disbelief, and he says: "You're KIDDING, right?! Do you have ANY ideas on how many dangers I've FACED on MY space deliveries with Guapo?! This is NOTHING in comparison!" Guapo groans, and he says: "Franz, that's the whole 'Tempting Fate' thing I keep TRYING to tell you about; you're NEVER going to WIN against it!" Franz says: "Don't give me that CRAP!!!! If ANYBODY deserves to tempt fate and WIN, it's going to be ME!!!!" Squilliam mocks Franz and says: "'If anybody deserves to tempt fate and win, it's going to be me!!!!" Than Squilliam talks normally, and seriously says: "Seriously, that's what you SOUND like! Do you even LISTEN to yourself when you TALK?!!!" Freddy says: "I sure wish YOU did!" Abby says: "BURN!!!!" Sniz says: "PLEASE pay attention, contestants! It's time to reveal what your first challenge is going to be for this season! And trust me, there's a very good reason this Steamboat is currently slightly submerged!" Squilivia says: "I sure hope so!" Sniz says: "There definitely is! You see, we thought that for our very first challenge, we would simulate what would happen in a DISASTER like setting! We've simulated this Steamboat running aground, and it is now going to sink! What your job will be, is two fold. First, we've assembled a random batch of supplies from the 'Paradise City' Lost and Found." Lori scoffs, and says: "How can there be ANYTHING in the Lost And Found?! This is our FIRST day here!" General Barracuda angrily says: "DON'T--AGH!!!!--MAKE ME--AGH!!!!--HIT YOU--AGH!!!!--HARD--AGH!!!!" Fondue says: "Horatio, you're FAILING again!" Bonnie shakes her head and says: "Honestly, I don't know WHY we thought THIS was ever going to work!" Bubble Bass says: "It could STILL happen! It's only the FIRST episode of this season! He's got PLENTY of time to improve!" Blonda says: "Well, at the rate things are going, I think he's going to need ALL the time he can get! The question is, what's going to happen first; General Barracuda learning how to express anger rationally, or Rube learning how to eat solid foods first?" Toddler Rube says: "I just found out that Mustard on Ice Cream tastes REALLY funny; I sure hope that Squidward doesn't think I'd make a regular habit out of it!" Blonda says: "I'm REALLY banking on RUBE to learn how to eat solid foods, first!" General Barracuda groans, and he says: "EVERYBODY'S a critic in this town, EVEN my own family!" Blonda says: "I just tell it like it is, Pops!" General Barracuda gives Blonda a weird glance, and he asks: "You're ENJOYING this, aren't you?!" Blonda says: "ONLY a LOT!!!!" General Barracuda says: "I'll give you points for honesty." (Confessional) General Barracuda asks: "When exactly did I start getting old and START getting tired of fighting? It used to be that I wouldn't get tired of fighting over ANYTHING! But now that I'm married, and now that I have a grandkid, it seems like I don't have as much time to spare as I used to. I'm losing my luster, and this Shock Collar sure isn't helping matters. Why did I EVER have to start a STUPID grudge with Stupidbob--AGH!!!!--Loserpants--AGH!!!!--anyways?!" / Blonda says: "The only bright side to General Barracuda constantly failing, is that Wanda's waving arm for wish-casting is sure getting a good workout!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Look, it doesn't matter WHY we already have a Lost And Found; the point is, we have one. And you're going to have to use whatever you think is useful, to help make your way from the bottom of the Steamboat, to the top where safe land is. But while you're climbing, be sure to watch out for debris being thrown by General Barracuda, because we will be simulating a 6.5 earthquake!" Franz scoffs, and he asks: "Can you even simulate a 1.5 earthquake?!" Sniz groans, and he yells: "WANDA!!!!" Wanda groans in frustration, waves her wand, and sure enough, the ground shakes underneath Franz's feet, and he falls FLAT on his face!" Bubble Bass says: "Ask a stupid question, get a STUPID answer!" (Confessional) Guapo says: "For anyone keeping score at home, that's Fate: 27; Franz: Zero!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "So anyways, the challenge will be simple enough; be the first team to get ALL of your contestants to dry land first, and you will win immunity for the day. The other team will have to vote someone off TONIGHT!" Franz gets up and dusts himself off. Franz says: "ALL of our contestants?! So, that means Guapo HAS to help me finish safely!" Guapo gets offended, and he says: "Of COURSE I'd help you finish safely! Has ANY of our adventures EVER put you in peril before?!" Franz loudly says: "YES!!!!" Guapo THINKS about it, and realizes he CAN'T argue against that, so Guapo says: "Okay, but did you ever STAY in peril?" And Franz gets a horrified look, and the wind gets COMPLETELY taken out of his sails! Guapo says: "That's what I thought!" (Confessional) Franz says: "Man, I HATE it when HE'S right! Why can he NEVER be WRONG when I WANT him to be?! It would be NICE if it happened ONCE, just ONCE; that he's WRONG when I want him to be!" / Guapo sighs, and says: "Yeah, I'm going to have to get Franz into Therapy to find out why he's being such a grouch...AFTER we've won some challenges! Hopefully, knock on wood, Franz can just keep his temper in check for a while! After all, HIS chances of winning $1.4 million depend on it, to!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Contestants, you've got ten minutes to collect and assemble your tools. So, START collecting!!!!" And Skeeter imitates trumpet fan-fare, and he says: "Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh-duh-duh!" (Confessional) Sheen cringes, and he says: "Yeah, even I am finding THAT annoying, and I know more about UltraLord than I do about the subjects I learn in school. Of course, it's not MY fault Miss Fowl is so BORING! If she had a little more energy and passion like UltraLord, MAYBE I would be more interested!" / Gordon says: "If our team loses this challenge, I may HAVE to vote Skeeter off on PRINCIPLE!" / Henry says: "Sometimes, quirkiness is a sign that you're really useful. Other times, it just gets in the way of any USEFULNESS you can provide to a team that you're working with!" (End Confessional) And not having anytime to think, the contestants of the two teams grab whatever items look best to them, empty the Lost And Find out, and go to their team emblems to organize their items. At the Fearless Flamingoes emblem, Abby says: "Look, it's obvious not ALL of us are seeing eye to eye on everything! But, if we DON'T want to lose, which I'm SURE at least MOST of us don't; than we're going to have to put our differences aside and work together!" Squilliam asks: "Isn't the solution OBVIOUS?! We make a statue, a HUGE statue! A wonderful, glorious MAGNIFICENT statue in MY likeness to showcase MY superiority over Squidward, AND a symbol of MY undying love for Squilivia!" Squidina scoffs, and she asks: "Does Squilivia even LIKE you?!" Squilliam asks: "How could she not?! Anybody with a BRAIN stem is ATTRACTED to a man who has money and power, and I have BOTH, and SHE knows it! Of COURSE she's attracted to me; RIGHT?!!!" Squilivia's face twitches, and she says: "This just got...awkward." Guapo says: "Even if we WANTED to build a statue, which I'm sure FRANZ doesn't..." Franz says: "FINALLY!!!! Something WE both agree on!" Guapo continues: "We don't have the necessary materials or tools needed to construct such a thing!" Freddy says: "I've found a bunch of hay stuck together!" Squidina asks: "What good would that do?" Freddy says: "Well, one hay needle by itself is weak, but a BUNCH of hay needles bunched together is strong! If we make a hay rope that's thick enough, and long enough; we can attach one end from the bottom of the boat, to the top!" Squilliam asks: "One question, HOW is the hay rope going to GET to the top?!" Freddy says: "I'll climb it there! Ferrets are EXCELLENT climbers! My parents use their climbing skills to sneak into chicken coops all the time! I've OBVIOUSLY never done that; but it looks like my climbing skills WILL be useful for this!" Abby says: "I can totally vouch for that! Freddy is our man...and ferret!" Squilivia says: "All right, than! We're all counting on YOU to see us through!" (Confessional) Freddy says: "Look, if I want to prove that I'm a viable contestant, I HAVE to take risks and put myself out there! After all, most good things in life don't come to YOU! Most of the time, you have to go and WORK for the things you love! I love Peck, and I will go to ANY legal and ethical means to PROVE my love for him!" / Abby says: "Back at the Barnyard, we usually go to Otis whenever we have a problem that needs to be handled. But...since Otis isn't here, I sure am glad Freddy is stepping up to the plate. Of course, I'm not sure what's will happen; if it eventually boils down to a challenge between him and me, but I'll worry about that only if and/or WHEN that time comes, and not before!" / Squilliam says: "Well, I suppose there ARE less dignified ways to win a challenge...none come to mind at the moment." / Franz says: "As long as I DON'T feel pain, I'm perfectly okay with this!" / Gaupo groans, and he says: "FRANZ; all this 'Tempting Fate' is going to get you into TROUBLE someday, and I'm not sure IF I'll be able to help you...or if I'll even WANT to at the rate YOU keep talking! You MAY be my brother, but even a NICE guy like me has to set SOME healthy limits!" / Squidina says: "Hay is hardly the weirdest thing our show has ever done; it's actually kind of rational by OUR standards...the ones we HAVE anyways!" (End Confessional) Over at the Killer Crocodiles emblem, Gordon says: "Team, this challenge is going to determine whether we start our run as a team with a surplus compared to the other team, or a deficit! Who has an idea that DOESN'T involve stealing the Krabby Patty Secret Formula?!" Plankton snaps his mini-mecha fingers, and he says: "CURSE my 'Over-crippling Specialization'!" Karen says: "Like you HAVE any to begin with!" Plankton says: "I don't see YOU coming up with any Idiot Proof ideas on stealing the Krabby Patty Secret Formula anytime soon!" Karen says: "Well, if I was getting PAID to come up with ideas, I'd make them BETTER ones!" Lori says: "Well, I have a younger sister who's a SUPER genius, but there's no way I'm ever going to be desperate enough to call for HER help!" Skeeter whispers something into Sheen's ear, and Sheen says: "Skeeter is a super genius! He says if we use the inflatable UltraLord doll we got earlier; with enough air, we can all hang onto it, and float our way to the top!" Karen asks: "You expect US to take OUR challenge advice, from Mr. Michael Winslow here?!" Henry asks: "WHO?!!!" Karen says: "Obscure 'Police Academy' reference, look it up!" Lori says: "Come on! It's the first suggestion I'VE heard of that doesn't TOTALLY suck!" (Confessional) Lori says: "Of COURSE I was going to let someone ELSE come up with the idea of trying to solve this challenge! HELLO!!!! That way, if things go south; THEY'LL get the blame, and I'll still be in this to win it! If they HAPPEN to be right, I'll coast on their glory! Either way, it's a win-win for me!" / Sheen says: "I can't think of ANY problem that UltraLord can't solve...EXCEPT maybe getting cancelled! If I knew how to avoid THAT one, I wouldn't have HAD that happen to me...TWICE!!!!" / Plankton groans, and he says: "It's SO hard to find help these days, from potential assets that AREN'T complete IMBECILES!" / Karen says: "That's one of the FEW things Plankton has said, that I TOTALLY agree with!" (End Confessional) A crafting montage takes place, with Skeeter making building effect noises, as the Fearless Flamingos craft together a sturdy hay rope, while Plankton and Karen inflate the Inflatable Ultra Lord Doll with plenty of air, so that everyone can grab on once it's ready! / Sniz says: "Crafting time is over, it's time for everybody to get on the Steamboat, and we'll start this challenge!" Everybody carefully makes their way onto the wobbling steamboat, and quickly get into place. Squilivia looks over to Lori, and she says: "Hey, may the best gal win!" Lori says: "I plan to!" (Confessional) Squilivia sighs, and says: "So much for hoping that conflict between our teams WOULDN'T get personal! But at least I GAVE it an honest shot on MY part!" / Lori says: "Nobody, ESPECIALLY not some one episode appearing NOBODY is going to beat ME on this game show; that's NOT going to happen!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Everybody hold on tight, because things are about to get SHAKIER than the San Andreas Fault did in 1906! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" And the steamboat LITERALLY starts rumbing as if it actually IS being affacted by a 6.5 Earthquake, and General Barracuda starts throwing random pieces of debris at the contestants, as Freddy begins his dangerous climb up the Steamboat, the Killer Crocodiles are having trouble getting their Inflatable UltraLord Doll OFF of the ground, because Plankton's Mini-Mecha is proving to be TOO heavy! While the action is happening, Bob Seger's hit song "Shakedown" is playing in the background! / Bob Seger sings: "No matter what you think you pull you'll find it's not enough. No matter who you think you know, you won't get through. It's a given L.A. law, someone's faster on the draw. No matter where you hide, I'm comin' after you, yeah! No matter how the race is run, it always ends the same. Another room without a view awaits downtown. You can shake me for a while, live it up in style. No matter what you do, I'm gonna take you down!" (And Lori FINALLY kicks Plankton OFF of the Inflatable UltraLord Doll and the Killer Crocodiles start floating up, because Freddy Ferret is already half-way up the steamboat!) Shakedown, Breakdown, Takedown! Everybody wants into the crowded line! (Plankton gets REALLY angry and THROWS a sharp rock at the UltraLord Inflatable Doll out of spite, and the rock hits the UltraLord Inflatable Doll and it breaks, causing the contestants to fall into the water, and in Karen's case, on a hard ROCK in the water, affecting her thinking process!) Breakdown, Takedown, You're busted! (Henry, seeing what the situation is like, quickly jumps into the water and starts rescuing his fellow Killer Crocodiles one by one, while Plankton starts climbing up the Steamboat himself, but Freddy is ALMOST at the top!) Let down your guard! Honey, just about the time you're thinkin' it's alright! Breakdown, Takedown, You're busted! (And Gordon Quid throws the SAME sharp rock at Plankton, knocking HIM down to the bottom of the steamboat, while Freddy FINALLY gets to the top of the Steamboat, securely attaches the hay rope to the top, and motions for the rest of the Fearless Flamingos to start climbing up it.) This is a town where everyone is reachin' for the top. This is a place where second best will never do. It's okay to want to shine, but once you step across that line; no matter where you hide, I'm comin' after you! (Plankton and Gordon get into a LITERAL Cat Fight in a "Big Ball Of Violence" which Henry and Sheen try in VAIN to stop, while Skeeter just keeps making random sound effects to punctuate the fight!) Shakedown, Breakdown, Takedown! Everybody wants into the crowded line! Breakdown, Takedown, You're busted!" (The Fearless Flamingos gradually begin to climb up to the top of the Steamboat, which Karen in spite of her wooziness, tries to point out, but nobody else on the Killer Crocodiles is paying any attention!) Bob Seger keeps singing: "Shakedown, Breakdown! Honey, just about the time you're thinkin' it's alright! Breakdown, Takedown, you're busted! (And Karen decides to charge in and FORCIBLY separate Plankton from Gordon, only to get pounded by BOTH of them, further damaging her thinking circuits!) Ah, busted! Aw, aw! Shakedown, Breakdown, Takedown! Everybody wants into the crowded line! (Plankton FINALLY realizes that Karen is getting hurt, immediately stops fighting and smiles sheepishly at Karen, but everyone else is CLEARLY not amused!) Breakdown, Takedown, You're busted! (Meanwhile, the Fearless Flamingos all finally reach dry land, cross the finish line, and Sniz rings a gong, signifying the end of the challenge!) Shakedown, Breakdown! Honey, just about the time you're thinkin' it's alright! Breakdown, Takedown, You're busted!" / And the song ends early as Sniz says: "And it's over, the challenge is all over! The Fearless Flamingos have metaphorically flown to the top of this challenge, and have won immunity for the night!" Abby says: "Way to go, Freddy! I knew you had it in you!" Freddy blushes, and he says: "Ah, it was nothing much!" Sniz says: "Killer Crocodiles, what can I say? Your teamwork today was LOUSY; REALLY lousy! Get yourself patched up, and meet me at the Elimination Ceremony Bonfire! One of you will be leaving here via cannon fire, TONIGHT!!!!" (Confessional) Skeeter imitates the dying sound effect from "Super Mario Bros.", and says: "Duh! Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh, duh-duh, duh-duh!" / Plankton screams: "MORONS!!!! I'm surrounded by MORONS!!!! I'd expect that in Bikini Bottom! But did I really HAVE to leave the ocean just to go through THIS again?! I sure hope Karen's thinking process hasn't been HARMED in any way!" / Karen is BUSY trying to reboot her signal, and in a weird tone, she says: "I am hilarious, you will quote everything I--BIRDS! BIRDS! BIRDS! Plankton!" / Lori says: "While eliminating Plankton may sound like a GOOD idea; the fact of the matter is, he has actually GONE to college! I'll NEED a brain like that to come up with ideas to keep what REMAINS of MY team safe! I'm telling the rest of team, ESPECIALLY Sheen, to vote off Skeeter tonight IF they want to keep being contestants on the team!" (End Confessional) It's evening, and the Killer Crocodiles are all sitting around a bonfire that's been place inside a tin can trash can. Sniz says: "Killer Crocodiles, while the Fearless Flamingos might have some dysfunctional members; the dysfunction YOU displayed today makes THEIR dysfunction looks like nothing! Somebody's luck here is about to run out tonight! The question is, who? You all know the instructions about how to vote, so get right to it! And remember, the contestant who loses the Luck Showdown, will be shot out of the Cannon of Shame!" Sheen asks: "Cannon?!" Gordon asks: "Cannon?!" Henry asks: "Cannon?!" Karen weirdly asks: "BIRDS?!" And a loud voice, coming from Skeeter says: "CANNON!!!!" Plankton seriously says: "Oh yeah, he is DEFINITELY out!" Lori says: "Thank you, Captain Obvious!" Sniz says: "Once you are shot out of the Cannon of Shame, once you land, you will have to make an Elimination Confessional. That means you are out of the Contest, and you can NEVER come back, EVER! Contestants, VOTE!" (Confessional) A montage of the contestants (minus Skeeter) immediately place Skeeter's Play Token into the Slot Machine. Skeeter, nervously puts in Sheen's play token! (End Confessional) Sniz says: "I've got six chocolate coin tokens indicating safety, and five of them go to, Lori Loud; Henry; Gordon Quid; Karen; and surprisingly, Plankton. That means the two contestants in the Luck Showdown are Skeeter, and Sheen! Who has better luck?! It's time for the Dice!" Wanda says: "On it!" And Wanda poofs two floating dice blocks above the heads of Sheen, and Skeeter! Sniz says: "Don't be all night about it, guys!" And nervously, while they both hit their dice blocks at nearly the same time, Sheen gets 3, while Skeeter only gets 1! Sniz says: "OOH! Tough luck, Skeeter! While 3 is a low number, it wasn't low enough THIS time, and you got the most votes besides! Cannon of Shame awaits!" / Skeeter is now equipped with a helmet, safety glasses, and protective ear wadding for the cannon fire! Sniz says: "Contestant helpers, get into positions!" Blonda screams: "Posts everyone, please!" And Blonda, Bonnie Bass, Bubble Bass, General Barracuda, Wanda, and Toddler Rube quickly go to places where things that could very easily fall over, and grab secure hold of them! Sniz loudly yells: "FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE! FIRE!!!!" And Skeeter is shot OUT of the Cannon, and the Contestant Helpers quickly grab the objects that try to fall to the ground, but they keep them safe, and Skeeter quickly yells: "Thank you for having me on your show, good luck to the rest of you!" Sniz says: "So, that's one contestant down, and thirteen to go. Who will be the next one to go? Who knows? It's now time, for Skeeter's final thoughts." (Elimination Confessional) Skeeter lands into a hotel lounge, he takes off his safety gear, and he says: "Man, being a genius certainly doesn't make you any less nervous about being in a physical challenge! But MAN!!!! Sniz certainly picked an APPROPRIATE name for the Killer Crocodiles! Those guys are all vicious! If they don't get their act together soon, they'll ALL be joining me!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Join us next time for another exciting, and thrilling challenge that will take place on Total Cartoon Paradise City, where the sun sets, but the fun never does!" / Episode Notes: Skeeter Valentine is eliminated in this episode. Featured songs in this episode include Judas Priest's "You've Got Another Thing Coming"; An edited version of Guns N' Roses "Paradise City"; Tom Petty's "Free Fallin"; and Bob Segar's "Shakedown". / Eliminated Contestants: 14. Skeeter Valentine. / Remaining Contestants: Sheen Estevez ("The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius", a Killer Crocodile); Franz Flubb ("The Brothers Flubb", a Fearless Flamingo); Gordon Quid ("Catscratch", a Killer Crocodile); Henry ("Kablam!", a Killer Crocodile); Abby ("Back At The Barnyard", a Fearless Flamingo); Squilliam Fancyson ("Spongebob Squarepants", a Fearless Flamingo); Guapo Flubb ("The Brothers Flubb", a Fearless Flamingo); Karen ("Spongebob Squarepants", a Killer Crocodile); Plankton ("Spongebob Squarepants", a Killer Crocodile); Squidina Star ("The Patrick Star Show", a Fearless Flamingo); Lori Loud ("The Loud House", a Killer Crocodile); Squilivia ("Spongebob Squarepants", a Fearless Flamingo); Freddy Ferret ("Back At The Barnyard", a Fearless Flamingo). / Personal Notes: A problem I've had with the previous seasons that I've written, is that somehow, no matter how ambitious or how eager I am to start writing episodes for these seasons; somewhere along the way, I lose my drive and ambition, causing there to be gaps between the episodes that I write. To prevent that from (hopefully) happening this time, I've given myself a personal episode guide for my own reference, for the episodes that I plan to write for this season, so that I will know what I WANT to write before I write it; so hopefully that will keep me on track for this season! Amazingly, on his own show, Skeeter really IS well-known for making weird and unusual sound effects! But in this case, his nervousness got the better of him, which is why he was the first contestant to take the Cannon of Shame this time! But if you want to know who gets eliminated next, you'll have to read the NEXT episode! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

"Pet The Rock"? Is Patrick's Pet Rock ROCKY finally going to make another appearance AGAIN?! I sure do hope so!

Get ready folks, because this season is going to pretty much START...with a BANG!!! / Fondue is flying the "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" jet, and Sniz is also in the cock-pit, and he says: "Welcome to the newest season of the Total Cartoon franchise, that we're calling Total Cartoon Paradise City! Once again, I am your host; Sniz Brokowski, and once again, back in co-hosting duties, is Fondue!" Fondue says: "It's about TIME since I got back onto this show full-time! I had to miss the LAST half-season all because of that STUPID court order!" Sniz says: "Well, serves you right for hiring Anti-Fairy help when I SPECIFICALLY said that it was going to be a bad idea! In any case, that won't be a problem for this season! We are currently en route to Paradise, Nevada; with our roster of contestants for this season! And what we were really surpised by the list of contestants who applied for this season, is that we DON'T have any returning contestants from previous seasons, and the contestants THIS season are all brand new! Makes me kind of glad that we ARE going to Paradise, Nevada for this upcoming season! It's the TITLED Paradise City of this season in case you haven't guessed! And this season, our contestants are going to have to rely on both skill AND luck if they want to make it past ALL the other challenges, 13 of their rival contestants, and get their hands on the grand prize of $1.4 million in cold hard cash!" Fondue asks: "What happened to the $44.44 million from LAST season?!" Sniz says: "Two reasons. A., the amount of contestants and challenges in this season is a lot shorter than the last season; therefore, the grand prize is a lot smaller to account for the shorter amount of contestants and challenges. And B., we OBVIOUSLY can't afford to give away $44.44 million in grand prize money EVERY season; we don't HAVE unlimited resources, you know!" Fondue shrugs, and he says: "Fair enough." Sniz says: "Anyways, it's time to tell YOU, the audience, what you can expect for this season! Now, I know there are SOME of you out there who might like something a little more 'Slice of Life' from the Total Cartoon franchise. But you see, we here at the Total Cartoon franchise, never EVER do anything, 'Slice of Life'. We always do everything, CRAZY, CHAOTIC, and COOL!!!! So what we plan to do, is we're going to start OFF this season, CRAZY, CHAOTIC, and COOL; and we plan to FINISH it, CRAZY, CHAOTIC, and COOL; not necessarily that ORDER!!!!" (Sniz's cell phone rings!) Sniz says: "Hang on, I got to take this call!" Sniz answers his cell phone, and he says: "Sniz Brokowski here! (Indistinct chatter) Woah, woah, WOAH!!!! Slow down, okay! Now take a deep breath, and say that AGAIN! (Indistinct chatter) HE'S made it BACK to the mainland, SERIOUSLY?!!! (Indistinct chatter) And he's on his WAY to Paradise, Nevada; now?! I wonder how my new team of Challenge Helper's is going to take THAT news?! (Indistinct chatter) I don't know EITHER, COSMO, but I PLAN on calling them right now! You're LUCKY that I've learned how to SPEAK 'Moron' so that I DON'T have to fire you this time!" Sniz hangs up his cell phone, than dials a number, and Sniz says: "I sure hope my new team of Challenge Helper's is FINISHED setting up for us at Paradise, Nevada; because I HAVE to tell them the news, whether they WANT to hear it or not!" / Meanwhile, at an abandoned storage building in Paradise, Nevada, a bulky-framed woman wearing a slimming black spy suit, is approaching what SHE needs; the actual Steamboat from "Steamboat Willy"! Using a voice changer, she discreetly activates a communicator, and she says: "Target is acquired. Are you ready on your end?" A man, using a voice changer on HIS end, speaks through the communicator, and he says: "Of course I am, but do we really need to use THIS Steamboat?! We've already got plenty of OTHER abandoned casino ideas in our lot already, and why do we NEED to use THAT one, anyways?!" The woman says: "Apparently, Sniz's reasoning is that since DISNEY can no longer exclusively use it, it's free to ANYBODY who wants to use it, so; we might as well put it to good use! Now, throw me the wench cables!" Wench cables are thrown through an open window, and the woman jumps up to catch them before they hit the ground, making as little noise as possible! Swiftly and surely, the woman attaches the wench cables to the Steamboat almost without a sound! The woman quietly says: "Yes, it's done!" At that moment, a loud cell phone rings: "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!" And alerts a bunch of LITERAL security bots to her presence! The woman groans, and says: "Oh, FISH PASTE!!!!" And than she yells: "NOW!!!!" Without a second to spare, the woman jumps onto the steamboat, as an engine whirs, and the sound of Judas Priest's "You've Got Another Thing Coming" plays in the background! Judas Priest sings: "One life, I'm gonna live it up! (The woman is blasting the many security bots coming after her with an electric discharge pistol). I'm takin' flight, said I'll never get enough! (The wench cables PULL the Steamboat straight THROUGH the side of the building, and the wench cables are revealed to be attached to a helicopter on the other end). Stand tall, I'm young and kinda proud! (A bunch of shots blast OFF the woman's mask, revealing her to be BONNIE BASS, Bubble Bass' mother!) I'm on top as long as the music's loud. (Bonnie Bass climbs to the top of the steamboat to get a better angle to shoot at the security bots). If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by, you're thinkin' like a fool 'cause it's a case of do or die!" (Bubble Bass, propelled by his bubbles, comes out of the helicopter towards his mother). Bubble Bass shouts: "Can you use a fin?!" Bonnie says: "Thought had crossed my mind!" Judas Priest sings: "You've got another thing comin'!" Bubble Bass says: "Eat bubble BOMBS, you lame-o bots!" And Bubble Bass THROWS bubbles shaped like bombs that manage to EXPLODE like regular bombs, destroying a bunch of security bots! Judas Priest sings: "That's right, here's where the talkin' ends!" Bonnie asks: "THIS is the song YOUR wife picks?!" Judas Priest sing: "Well listen, this night there'll be some action spent!" Bubble Bass says: "Hey! She's not just a wife; she's an actress/model/mother!" Judas Priest sings: "Drive hard, I'm callin' all the shots!" Blonda, revealed to be piloting the helicopter says: "I may be mortal, but I can STILL use magic!" Judas Priest sings: "I got an ace card comin' down on the rocks!" And with her free left hand, Blonda uses her magic wand to blast away some more security bots! Judas Priest sings: "If you think I'll sit around while you chip away my brain; listen, I ain't foolin' and you'd better think again!" Blonda says: "Hold on, it's going to be a BUMPY land!" Blonda and the others pass through an INVISIBLE force field, and the remaining Security Bots CRASH and explode on contact with it! Judas Priest sings: "You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'!" Blonda sets the Steamboat on a large, artificial lake, in the center of a theme park called "Paradise City", Bonnie pants, and wheezes as she says: "This stuff is SO much harder than the way your FATHER makes it look!" Bubble Bass says: "He's YOUR husband, to! Be THANKFUL that it's HIS connections that got us a job for THIS season! How were the Security Bots alerted to YOUR presence anyways?!" Bonnie says: "That's right! The cell phone call, I nearly forgot!" Judas Priest sings: "Oh, so hot; no time to take a rest, yeah!" Bonnie picks up her cell phone and answers it, and she says: "Whatever it IS, Sniz! It BETTER be super IMPORTANT! My SON and I had to go through a CRAZY aerobatics act to get that steamboat, and--!!--WHAT?!!! MY HUSBAND is back in TOWN?!!! And you expect US to help him with his Anger Management lessons?! That's crazy!" Bubble Bass says: "No crazier than ME walking around in NOTHING but bubbles!" Toddler Rube climbs out of the helicopter, and he says: "And no crazier than my MOM using her magic to give ME the ability to speak EARLIER than I would have!" Blonda says: "I'll tell YOU what's crazy; this FINISH!!!!" Judas Priest sings: "If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by, you're thinkin' like a fool 'cause it's a case of do or die! Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had; if you think I'll let it go, you're mad! You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'!" / And the rocking song ends! / In the series intro, a bunch of renovated casino, amusement theme parks pop up out of the ground (or in the steamboat's case, the water), Cosmo holds an old-fashioned clap-board, shuts it down and the action zooms in on Sniz driving a fancy gazebo through his Amusement Park, as the action pans above the sky to the "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" plane, where Freddy Ferret falls out, but lands safely in the water. He's pulled out by Guapo Flubb with a fishing rod in a boat, who is pleased with his catch, but his brother Franz Flubb is right in the boat WITH Guapo, and Franz tries to wangle away the fishing rod from Guapo; but in the struggle, Freddy Ferret is flung away from the fishing rod, until he lands in Abby's arms, as she is singing a song that makes Gordon Quid, Squidina, and a bunch of local desert (and exported, exotic animals) smile; until Plankton (wearing a small mecha-suit that makes him about Spongebob's size) runs by laughing maniacly, but he doesn't look WHERE he is running, and runs off a cliff, down towards Skeeter Valentine who is busy making funny faces and sounds on a log over the artificial river, until Plankton lands on him, and they BOTH fall in the water. This causes a nearby Karen to face-palm her computer screen face in frustration, while Henry comes out of a nearby dressing room to see what the commotion is. In the nearby mess hall, General Barracuda is STRUGGLING to get through Anger Management lessons (and getting SHOCKED while he wears a shock collar whenever he fails), so his family of Bonnie, Bubble Bass, Rube, and Blonda can't help but laugh; while Fondue grabs some grub in order to SHUT UP Sheen Estevez's latest UltraLord trivia tract, while a very ANNOYED Lori Loud gives Fondue a look which says "Don't even THINK about serving me that food!" Outside the mess hall, Squilivia finishes running a race, and Squilliam Fancyson rushes to congratulate her with flowers and chocolates, only to get knocked INTO the mud by Abby and Freddy Ferret, who were NOT watching where they were going! The camera pans to Blonda, Bubble Bass, and Toddler Rube, who proceed to put on a spectacular bubble and fireworks show, that segue into the night. The camera pans down on Plankton and Karen, as they're about to share a rare moment of romance, only to be RUINED when Squidina decides to capture the moment with a Selfie on her cell phone! The camera pans out to reveal Sniz, Fondue, General Barracuda, Bubble Bass, Bonnie, Toddler Rube, and all of the contestants, sitting around an outside bonfire, while Amusement Park letters turn on, and says: "Total Cartoon Paradise City, Created By Jason Cantu;" and the sequence ends when the Guns N' Roses song "Paradise City" ends! / Guns N' Roses sing (an edited version of) their song, "Paradise City": "Take me down to the Paradise City; where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home? Take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home? (Instrumental Break) Just an urchin living under the street, I'm a hard case that's tough to beat. I'm your charity case, so buy me something to eat. I'll pay you at another time, take it to the end of the line! Rags and riches, or so they say, you gotta keep pushing for the fortune and fame! You know it's all a gamble when it's just a game. You treat it like a capital crime, everybody's doing the time! Take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home? Yeah-yeah! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh won't you please take me home? Yeah-yeah! (Guitar solo) So far–away, so far–away; so far–away, so far–away! Captain America's been torn apart, now! He's a court jester with a broken heart! He said, 'Turn me around and take me back to the start'. I must be losing my mind; are you blind?! I've seen it all a million times! Take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home, yeah-yeah! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home; yeah-yeah! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh won't you please take me home, yeah-yeah! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home?! Home! Yeah! I wanna go, I wanna know! Oh, won't you please take me home?! I wanna see, how good it can be! Oh, won't you please take me home?! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home?! Take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home?! Take me down (oh yeah), spin me around! Oh, won't you please take me home?! I wanna see, how good it can be! Oh, won't you please take me home?! I wanna see, how good it can be! Oh, take me home?! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home?! I wanna go, I wanna know! Oh, won't you please take me home?! Yeah!" / And the epic song ends! / "You've Got Another Thing Comin'!" The camera opens back up on the "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" plane, and Sniz says: "Welcome back to Total Cartoon Paradise City; we're just 15 minutes away from Paradise, Nevada; which gives us just enough time to get acquainted with our 14 contestants who are about to embark on a 14 episode journey with us this season! How prepared are they to face this season?! We will soon find out!" The camera pans to the main cabin, where the contestants are mentally gearing themselves up for the upcoming season...well, SOME of them are, anyways! And Skeeter says: "Yeah, Doug couldn't believe it EITHER when I turned out to be smarter than HE is, either! I mean, I certainly couldn't believe it; since I'm such an oddball! Honk-honk! I mean, when I talk, I often can't help making Beep-Beep! strange sounds like that Ooga-Ooga! And the like! That's one of the reasons I Ring-Ring! Signed up for this season, so maybe I can Boop-Boop! Get a hold on controlling it!" Sheen says: "Genius you may be, but you are POWERLESS before the ultimate power of Ultra Lord, famed protector and HERO of the universe, who protects the powerless and the weak, for a fair, but honest wage because HE'S got to eat TO, you know!" Franz Flubb says: "What I DON'T understand is, WHY do I got to compete on this season with YOU, anyways?!" Guapo Flubb says: "Come on! You're ACTING like this is one of those trips to one of those planets that we DON'T know anything about! We KNOW where we're going to THIS time; it's Planet Earth! And this time, I'm 85% SURE that we WON'T run into ANYTHING that can bite, chew, mangle, burn, massacre, chomp, gnash, cut, bruise, maim, scar, peck, scratch, claw, choke, electrocute, drown, strangle, punch, kick, or bleed us, or ANY and ALL possible combinations of the above!" Gordon Quid does an air-fist pump, and he says: "FINALLY! After FIVE seasons of trying, I'm FINALLY a contestant on this show! Maybe if I do well enough as a contestant THIS season, maybe it will get the Human Kimberly to fall in love with me!" Henry scoffs, and he says: "YOU'RE in love with actress Amy Jo Johnson; a former Power Ranger?!" Gordon asks: "Who said anything about an actress?! I'm talking about Human Kimberly, a human girl who is my EXACT age!" Henry gets a puzzled look, than seriously asks: "Just HOW old are you; anyways?" Gordon says: "I'm six, the PERFECT age for a cat to get married! Why?" Henry face-palms himself, and he says: "Bro, you're going to be in for a WORLD of complaints and a HORRIFYING realization when YOU figure out the truth!" Gordon asks: "What truth?" Henry says: "If you HAVE to ask me, you'll never know!" Abby comes waltzing by, and he says: "Don't knock the guy down just because he has a weird love! I mean, I love my Otis even THOUGH he has a rare, genetic disorder which gives him female cow udders!" Henry asks: "THAT'S a genetic disorder, and NOT the animators being STUPID?!!!" Abby says: "Who said anything about animators? All I know for sure is that, I LOVE Otis genetic disorder or none, and I'm competing on this show to show him just how GREAT of a girlfriend/future potential wife I will be to him!" Squilliam Fancyson, utilizing an Inner Monologue, says: "Look at ALL these worthless morons, talking and chatting as if THEY actually have a chance to BEAT me! They won't! I thought for SURE that Squidward was LYING when he said that HE got to be a contestant on this show! If I had known that THIS show was THAT desperate for contestants, I would've signed on and got on before HE had! But no matter, I'll still last longer than he EVER did easily! Especially since I'm SURROUNDED by IDIOTS whose combined intelligence don't even equal 1/44th of MY intelligence, and my intellect and superior skills is going to run CIRCLES around those metaphorical, and in one case, LITERAL Protozoans without breaking a sweat!" Plankton yells: "HELLO!!!! I'm RIGHT HERE!!!! We can HEAR every single WORD that you are SAYING!!!!" Squilliam asks: "That was out LOUD?!!! I was SURE that conversation was ONLY taking place in my MIND; not that it matters in the slightest, none of you have an intellectual chance against me anyways!" Karen face-palms herself, and she says: "Oh, BROTHER!!!! If I had a NICKEL for every time some BLOW-HARD like Bulma said they were going to use THEIR intellectual prowess to beat everyone else, I'd have...TWO nickels!!!! Which...isn't a lot, but it's WEIRD that it's happened twice, right?!" Plankton says: "You SAID it, Karen! But why did YOU want to come on this season with me, anyways? I've got MORE than enough intellect and EVIL for the both of us!" Karen sighs, and she says: "I'm ONLY along, to see that you don't get into TOO much PAIN and TROUBLE!!!!" Plankton says: "The trouble part? I highly DOUBT that! But PAIN?!!! That's the one thing I hate more than anything else! You're hired!" Karen says: "I HAVE to be, I'm the ONLY woman, digital or otherwise, who is EMPLOYED by you!" Squidina Star says: "I'm SO excited to BE a contestant on THIS show, aren't you?!" Lori Loud, sitting right next to her, opens up a compact make-up case, and not even CHANGING her bored expression in the slightest, she sarcastically says: "Biggest thrill of MY life!" Squidina TOTALLY doesn't get her sarcasm, and she says: "I know, RIGHT?! My older brother competed on THREE seasons of this show! He technically WON the third season, but he gave up his title so that Reggie Rocket could have it!" Lori rolls her eyes, as if not BELIEVING her story, and Lori asks: "And I suppose that the reason why YOU'RE competing is to WIN the title that he gave away?" Squidina, gets a hurt, nervous look, and laughing nervously, she says: "Well, yeah; kind of! I'm mostly doing this as an apology to my Home Economics Teacher, long story; and while it's one thing to run a show--which I do very well--but it's another entirely to BE a contestant on the show! That's the main reason why I'm here, to gain valuable LIFE experience!" Lori Loud actually gets a DEVIOUS smile on her face, and she says, "Oh, I'll make SURE you'll get a valuable life experience; one way or another!" Freddy Ferret nervously asks: "So, uh; Squilivia, is it?" Squilivia says: "Yes, I am." Freddy nervously asks: "You, uh, aren't worried about this competition TOO, are you?" Squilivia says: "DEFINE; 'Worried'." Freddy nervously says: "Well...what if you're nervous...say, for example, that you harbor a ROMANTIC love for a rooster that you could NEVER eat, not even if your OWN life depended on it, and you just want to marry that rooster and despite ALL odds, have weird, but adorable ferret/rooster hybrid children together despite the fact that MOST ferrets and roosters would probably never accept THAT?!!!...Which is TOTALLY not the reason that I'm NERVOUS at all! I'm nervous about something else! Like...taking a walk on the beach! Or a good book! Or...the beach!" Lori gets exasperated, and she says: "You said 'Beach', twice!" Freddy nervously says: "Well, I...thought of it twice!" Skeeter Valentine imitates a drum kick and says: "Duh-duh-duh-duh!!!!" Lori rolls her eyes, and she says: "I am SO over that drum kick NONSENSE!" Squilivia says: "Well, if I AM nervous about ANYTHING, I'm keeping THAT nervousness to myself! You can be completely honest with YOUR weird rooster love--." Freddy nervously says: "Who told I was in love with Peck the Rooster!!!!" Karen bluntly says: "You kind of did, just now!" Freddy nervously says: "I wasn't telling anybody anything! I was just...thinking out loud!" Henry says: "VERY loud!" Abby says: "Come on, Freddy! Nobody at our barnyard thinks of YOU any different for WHO you love!" Freddy says: "Yeah, AT our barnyard! What I fantasize about doing...which I won't mention in order to keep our PG rating...with a guy who MAY or MAY not be Peck; is NOBODY'S business OUTSIDE of OUR barnyard except MY business and the guy who MAY or may not be Peck!" Squilivia says: "And THAT is why you are GOING to lose to ME, because your mind is on who you love and NOT the competition! The only thing I've got MY eyes on, is the Grand Prize itself!" Squilliam turns around, and actually NOTICES Squilivia for the first time, and his heart nearly jumps FROM his heart cavity up to his THROAT, but he STOPS it from exiting out of his mouth and FORCES it back down, and Squilliam romantically says: "Woman, where have YOU been all MY life?!" Gordon groans, and he says: "OY! And I thought I was love-struck!" Squilivia turns around, and she says: "Excuse me?" Squilliam romantically says: "I never before realized just how...incredibly GORGEOUS a woman who looks a LOT like ME, could look like!" Henry face-palms himself, and he loudly asks: "THAT'S the best pick-up line you can come up with?! Even I could do BETTER than that, and I haven't even DATED yet...unless you count June, and I sure don't!" Squilliam romantically says: "You're so...tall, attractive, squishy, with not a stray hair out of place on your head. Your...radiant beauty would perfectly compliment MY utter perfection!" Squilivia gets weirded out, and says: "Look; I appreciate your ATTEMPT to be nice and friendly with me; but the thing of it is; I'm not EXACTLY looking for a--." But Squilivia DOESN'T get to finish her thought, as Sniz loudly announces over the loudspeakers: "Conversation time is over, contestants! We're five minutes away from the Drop Zone! So named because we are LITERALLY going to drop you to where our competition is being held! So, I suggest you hurry up and grab your parachute bags! But be warned; COSMO was the one who prepared them, and I can't FULLY guarantee that ALL of those parachutes are going to be working parachutes!" Sheen Estevez says: "Not to worry! Ultralord doesn't fear pain, and neither do I!" Lori Loud scoffs, and she says: "I'm sure YOU don't!" Sniz says: "Not to worry! If you DON'T get a working parachute, and you can't grab onto somebody who HAS one, Wanda is LEGALLY required to magically slow you down so that you can land safely, and WHERE you land, will determine which team you're going to be on this season!" Franz Flubb says: "Out of my way, I NEED a working parachute and a team AWAY from Guapo! And he shoves everyone else out of the way and grabs the first parachute bag he can, and everyone else quickly grabs a parachute bag, with Guapo nervously being the last one to grab one! Sniz says: "All right, contestants; we're 30,000 feat above the target zone; plenty of time to open up a parachute, or grab onto a contestant who has a parachute! Contestants, you're on!" Squidina says: "Yes! CHALLENGE!!!!" Gordon says: "Here we go!" Franz Flubb says: "On YOUR tail!" Sheen Estevez says: "BANZAI!" Skeeter imitates trumpet fan-fare and says: "Duh-duh-duh-DUH!!!! DUH!!!!" Freddy goes up to the door, but holds himself back, before he goes out of it! Abby confidently says: "Go on, Freddy! Show THEM your stuff!" Freddy says: "You know, that burst of confidence is all the convincing I need to ACTUALLY do this! SURF'S UP!!!!" Abby turns to everyone else and she says: "Catch you on the flip side!" And the other contestants jump out of the plane, as a familiar Tom Petty hit song, "Free Fallin"; plays while everyone is falling. Tom Petty sings: "She's a good girl, loves her mama. Loves Jesus and America to. She's a good girl, who's crazy 'bout Elvis. Loves horses and her boyfriend too. And it's a long day, livin' in Reseda; there's a freeway, runnin' through the yard. And I'm a bad boy, 'cause I don't even miss her. I'm a bad boy for breakin' her heart. And I'm free, free fallin'! Yeah I'm free, free fallin'! All the vampires, walkin' through the valley, move west down Ventura Boulevard. And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows, and the good girls are home with broken hearts. And I'm free, I'm free fallin'! Yeah I'm free, free fallin'! Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a; Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin'. I wanna glide down over Mulholland. I wanna write her name in the sky. I'm gonna free fall out into nothin'. Gonna leave this world for a while! Now I'm free, free fallin'! (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a) Yeah I'm free, free fallin'! (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a) (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a) Yeah I'm free, free fallin'! Oh! (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a) Free fallin'! (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a) And I'm free, oh, free fallin'! (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin'.") / And the song ends as everyone tries to open their parachutes, only Skeeter gets a plunger and imitating sad trumpet fan-fare says: "Wah-wah-wah!" Sheen Estevez gets a giant INFLATABLE UltraLord doll, and he says: "I KNEW UltraLord would SAVE the day!" And Skeeter has to quickly grab ON to the Inflatable UltraLord doll! Franz Flubb says: "Come on, parachute!" But he opens it up, and he gets a 16 TON ANVIL!!!! Franz screams: "Are you FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!!" But Guapo opens HIS parachute, and it's a normal parachute, and Franz seeing no BETTER alternatives, grabs onto Guapo, and Franz begrudingly says: "I guess you're not COMPLETELY useless!" Gordon Quid opens up his parachute, only to get a 20 ounce bottle of root beer! Gordon says: "You know, I normally LIKE root beer, but this is not the time or place!" Abby opens up HER parachute and she says: "Grab onto me, we can float down together!" Gordon says: "I'll be fine! Cats ALWAYS land on their feet!" Henry opens up his parachute only to pull out an actual LIVE Thunder Girl! Henry says: "I got YOU?!!!" Thunder Girl triumphantly says: "Thunder Girl, will fly you to safety, before you do hit ground!" Henry says: "Normally, I'd argue about how thunder technically can't fly, but I'm TOO desperate to be picky!" And Thunder Girl grabs Henry by the waist underneath his arms, and flies him down to the ground! Squilliam Fancyson opens up his parachute, but it turns out to be a GIANT TIKI HEAD like the one Squidward lives in, and a recorded voice FROM Squidward says: "It took me 25 years to pull this off, but the Karma YOUR getting is SO worth it!" Squilliam screams: "What did I EVER DO to DESERVE THIS?!!! (BEAT) I MEAN, SPECIFICALLY?!!!" Squilivia opens up HER parachute, and she says: "Quick, grab my tentacle!" Squilliam asks: "Which one?!" Squilivia not having TIME to think, says: "ANY of them!" And Squilliam DESPERATELY grabs as many of her tentacles as he can, and Squilivia says: "I said, 'ANY', not 'ALL'!!!!" Gordon says: "Technically speaking, 'All' IS 'Any'!" And Skeeter imitates another drum kick and says: "Duh-duh-duh-duh!!!!" Karen opens up her parachute, and she says: "A functioning parachute, MY analysis is once again 100% correct!" Plankton opens up his parachute, but gets a HUGE (even for his tiny mecha) Chum Bucket, and he screams: "KAREN!!!! DO SOMETHING TO HELP ME!!!!" Karen BRIEFLY considers it, but she says: "No, I'm NOT going to help you. In fact, I'm NOT even going to call the Hospital for you, because you WON'T learn anything if I do!" Squidina opens up her parachute, and she says: "Yes! I AM the brains in MY family!" Lori Loud opens up her parachute, but gets Sergio the Parrot! Lori says: "It's not like YOU have a lot of competition!" Lori in desperation, grabs Sergio, who STRUGGLES to float the both of them down! Lori says: "Fly faster, fly harder; fly, FLY!!!!" Sergio says: "Excuse ME, Lori, how FAST and how FAR would you have to fall before YOU reach Terminal Velocity?!" And Lori quickly gets HIS point, and shuts up, and he says: "That's what I thought!" Freddy opens his parachute, but INSTEAD gets Peck's molten rooster feathers! Freddy says: "Cosmo TOO?!!! WAIT!!!! I still have time; I can make this work!" And weaving the molten rooster wings together, he makes a pair of make-shift wings, and is able to glide safely down to the ground. Freddy says: "Oh, THANK you Peck! Who would have ever thought that the fact that you molt would actually SAVE me?!" And everyone else eventually lands on the ground safely, with Skeeter, Sheen, Gordon, Henry, Karen, Lori, and Plankton (landing painfully as he yells: "OUCH!!!!") landing in a symbol area with a Green Crocodile, and Franz Flubb, Abby, Squilliam Fancyson, Guapo Flubb, Squidina Star, Squilivia, and Freddy Ferret landing in a symbol area with a Pink Flamingo! Sniz comes flying down in a working jet-pack, and he says: "Congratulations on MOST of you landing safely, except Plankton!" Karen looks at Plankton, as she picks up Plankton off of the ground, and back on his Mini-Mecha feet. Karen says: "I wouldn't worry about him, he's been through MUCH worse! Trust me on THAT one!" Sniz says: "In any case, where you landed; now represents the teams you will be representing this season! Everyone who landed on the Green Crocodile emblem, is now a member of the Killer Crocodiles!" Plankton recovers, and he says: "Oh, YEAH!!!! I'm a KILLER Crocodile! Let Mr. Krabs TRY and STOP me NOW!!!!" Skeeter imitates a crocodile, and he says: "Chomp-Chomp!!!!" Sheen says: "No, no, no! That's a space ALLIGATOR from episode 238 Section A of 'The Ultra Lord Show'!" Henry seriously asks: "Were there EVEN 65 episodes of 'The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron', let alone YOUR failed spin-off?!" Sheen asks: "WHO'S the Ultra-Lord expert and President of his Fan-Club?!" Gordon rolls his eyes, and says: "You are!" Sheen says: "That's right! And don't you forget it!" Lori groans, and she says: "I don't think we will be ABLE to forget it even if we WANTED to, because I'm SURE you will be reminding us every FIVE SECONDS!!!!" Sheen scoffs and says: "I don't talk about--!!" Sheen catches himself as he REALIZES Lori is LISTENING, and Sheen struggles, and says: "...HIM; that much! I can STOP talking about WHAT'S HIS FACE anytime I want!" Henry asks: "How about FOREVER; can you DO THAT?!!!" Sheen says: "I said, 'ANYTIME', not 'FOREVER'!" Sniz says: "Technically speaking, 'Forever' IS 'Anytime', and DON'T make a drum kick sound, Skeeter!" Skeeter gets a dejected look, and imitating the "Losing Horns" sound from "The Price Is Right", he says: "Duh, duh, duh, duh, wahhhhhhh!" Fondue says: "Should've let him do the drum-kick!" Sniz scoffs, and he says: "He'll live! And everyone who landed on the Pink Flamingoes emblem, is now a member of the Fearless Flamingos!" Guapo says: "Of COURSE we are! Who could be more fearless than WE are?!" Franz angrily says: "Maybe YOU'RE fearless, but I'm not! I just want to get through this STUPID competition, win the STUPID $1.4 million as quickly and PAINLESSLY as possible, use that money to hire my OWN flight partner to deliver packages with, and NEVER have to be in PAIN with YOU again as long as I live!" Guapo throws his hands up in the air, and he asks: "What did I ever do to HIM?! Well...maybe I did SOMETHING to warrant his anger...nothing comes to mind at the moment." Abby says: "I actually AGREE on my being fearless! No matter what comes my way, I face it fearlessly, and bravely!" Squilliam scoffs, and says: "EXCUSE me; 'Fearlessly', and 'Bravely' are the exact SAME adjectives!" Abby says: "Irrelevant! Doesn't make it any less true!" Squidina says: "Exactly! My brother might not ALWAYS know what he talks about, but at least he's smart enough to know that I always know what I'M always talking about, and he respects my knowledge to help him make HIS show the best it can be, even if we had to experiment to get to what it currently is!" Squilivia says: "I'm just hoping that my being a Fearless Flamingo will put me in a good position to win the grand prize! I'm NOT going to be arrogant like Tigress, and I'm NOT going to be full of myself like Bulma was! I will play this season on my own terms!" Freddy gets an idea and says: "Playing on your OWN terms? That...actually sounds like a GOOD idea!" Sniz says: "Well, you can play on your OWN terms, as LONG as they fall within OUR rules! Speaking of, New Rule we are implementing from THIS season onwards! Thanks to Spongebob Squarepant's stunt of voting for himself in challenges where he HAD immunity or a pendant to nullify his own vote; from now on, you will no longer be allowed to vote yourself off in elimination ceremonies. You have to either outright quit, be eliminated by Med Evac, do something SO dangerously bad or illegal to FORCE you to be barred from the competition, or be voted off by your fellow contestants!" Squilliam gives everyone else the once over again, and he says: "Yeah, I don't think there will be any worries of THAT happening for ME this season; especially since I have Squilivia to look forward to!" Squilivia says: "About that, what I was saying BEFORE I was interrupted--." Sniz says: "You'll have plenty of time to talk LATER! Besides, this season, you probably WOULDN'T want to vote for yourself anyways! Because this season, not only will SKILL be involved; Luck will ALSO be a big factor in determining the winner this season!" Sheen asks: "How is THAT possible?!" Franz Flubb scoffs, and says: "Judging by HIS luck, I'd say, 'Not for long'!" Gordon says: "Like YOU'RE one to talk!" Franz says: "Same to YOU, buddy!" Guapo gets in between the two, and says: "Guys, we're all REASONABLE adults here...Squidina and OBVIOUSLY Plankton excluded!" Plankton yells: "How DARE you lump me in with HER?! I'm much more...adultish than what's her face there!" Karen sarcastically says: "BRILLIANT English skills there, Mr. College Goer!" Plankton genuinely says: "THANK YOU!!!!" Karen yells: "That WASN'T a compliment!" Plankton says: "I'm STILL going to take it as one!" Karen rolls her electronic eyes, and says: "Somehow, I FIGURED you would!" Sniz says: "Anyways, like I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted; the way it's going to work this season, is that like always; the two teams will fight against each other which will pit your athletic and mental skills against each other, in games that revolve around both a good factor of skill and luck! After each challenge, the team that loses will have to vote someone off in an Elimination Ceremony! You will use the Play Token of the contestant you want to eliminate, as long as it's not yourself, into the Slot Machine! Once all the Token's have been inserted, we will give chocolate coin tokens to the safe contestants. However, the Luck Factor will kick in on the last two contestants! Since this is Nevada, where luck plays a factor in more things than usual in the rest of the world, the last two contestants will have to face each other in a Luck Showdown!" Henry asks: "What's a Luck Showdown?" Sniz says: "The last two contestants will be asked to hit a magical floating dice block above their head, provided by Wanda. The dice block will give you any number between 1 and 10, as long as it's a whole number. And don't worry; there's NO chance of a tie! Wanda has magically made it so that whoever gets a number first, the other contestant CAN'T get it. Whoever gets the highest number, will be safe from elimination! Whoever gets the lowest number, REGARDLESS of whether they got the most amount of votes or not; don't blame me, blame your own luck or lack there-of, will be eliminated by our brand-new, state of the art, totally ROCKING, LITERALLY blast-worthy, elimination soaring...CANNON! CANNON! CANNON! CANNON! OF! OF! OF! OF! SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!" Sniz pauses and hears an echoing: "CANNON OF SHAME! CANNON OF SHAME! CANNON OF SHAME! CANNON OF SHAME!" Sniz says: "Pretty clever, huh?" Freddy actually finds it funny, and laughs; and he says: "Haven't seen THAT gag in a while!" Sniz says: "And per our usual tradition, we would appreciate it very much if every now and than, you make a Confessional, so the TV audience can know your personal thoughts! This time, the normal Confessional will take place in our state of the art, all you can eat cafeteria buffet...for the right price of course! However, if you ARE eliminated; once you are shot out of the Cannon of Shame and land, you will have to make an Elimination Confessional. That officially means you are OUT of the Contest and you can NEVER come back EVER!" And Skeeter nervously says: "GULP!!!!" Lori sarcastically says: "That's actually the most SENSIBLE thing that I've heard HIM say so far!" Abby still doesn't GET Lori's sarcasm, and Abby says: "It's not so much, 'Sensible', more like it's an exclamation of nervousness." And Lori face-palms herself in frustration! (Confessional) Freddy Ferret says: "So, I was thinking about what Squilivia said, about playing the game on her own terms. I suppose if I want to have a real shot of winning, I better play on my own terms to! Look, the truth of the matter is, that I really DO love Peck the Rooster romantically...a lot! I mean, how could I not?! He's got the prettiest eyes, the most gorgeous feathers, and when he gives you a rooster smile...makes a ferret like me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Besides, Stimpy, Dog, and Bubble Bass ALL played for the love of someone else to SOME degree, and they all won! If I play for the love of Peck, I figure that I at least HAVE a decent shot! Besides, I've learned by watching from other contestants, that trying to keep the truth under wraps, no matter for WHAT reason you might have; NEVER tends to end well! So, when the right moment presents itself, I'll tell EVERYONE the truth about how I feel about Peck; than I'll be able to play the game with...well, at least one LESS thing to worry about!" / Sheen says: "The only terms of the game that I want to be playing on are UltraLord's! But...since I don't know where he currently is, I suppose that I have to do the best I can, playing the way that UltraLord would play this game! Now, I know I might not be as smart as Jimmy, or as tough as Tigress, or as resourceful as Bubble Bass, or as pretty as Zarbon, or as strong as Larry, or...now that I think about it, I REALLY thought I would be able to come up with SOME really great trait to fall back on in my analogy! Eh, I guess I'll just have to be as heroic as Super Chum! That's MY best shot of winning this season!" / Franz Flubb scoffs and he says: "Miss Boom-De-Ay might be FORCING me to work with Guapo to promote HER delivery service; but when all is said and done, I'm NOT doing this game because I particularly ENJOY being employed by her WITH my brother! (Guapo sticks his head in WITHOUT Franz even REALIZING it) My boss only hired HIM because SHE finds HIM more attractive than ME! How THAT is even possible; I'm not sure I even WANT to know! All I know is, with the prize money that I win, I can afford to make my OWN delivery routes; delivery routes where I WON'T be subject to pain, misery, and be FORCED to laugh at Guapo's idea of what he calls 'Jokes'!" And Guapo quickly zooms OUT of the Confessional without Franz even noticing! / Guapo gasps in shock, and he says: "I can't believe my OWN brother would actually THINK that! First off; Miss Boom-De-Ay actually finds ME attractive? First time I've EVER heard THAT from her! But more importantly; how can Franz HATE working with me THAT much?! I mean, do I ever put HIM into danger, on PURPOSE?! There's SUPPOSED to be some risk in delivering packages to planets most OTHER explorers don't go to! That's the whole REASON why they call it 'Mostly Unexplored Space'! Expecting there to be zero danger and zero risk, is like expecting EVERYTHING in life to be handed to you on a Silver Platter, and where's the real joy and gratification in THAT?! Everybody's got to start somewhere; there's no WAY Franz could be THAT close to the bottom as HE seems to think he is! But the way he talked?! He seems to THINK like he deserves to be as rich and successful as Orson Welles as Charles Foster Kane in 'Citizen Kane'! And SPOILER ALERT, neither the title character's life nor Orson Welles' life DON'T really end that well!" / Gordon Quid asks: "What in the world does Henry find WRONG with me loving a girl my OWN age? Even if she IS a human, I've certainly NEVER pressured her to do anything she doesn't WANT to do! If she WANTS a relationship with me, she can have it on HER terms in the way SHE wants! That's the way a TRUE gentleman has a relationship with someone THEY like, hopefully romantically!" / Henry scoffs, and he says: "Am I going to be the one to break the AWFUL truth to Gordon? Absolutely NOT if I can avoid it! I learned a long time ago, that if you MESS with the relationship of a couple, no matter how ONE-SIDED it is, you do it alone! And I mean ALONE!!!!" / Abby says: "Originally, I actually auditioned to be on 'Total Cartoon Global Cruise'. But apparently, they already HAD all the singing characters they wanted or they needed for that season. Even if it's not REQUIRED, I do hope we get the chance to DO some songs this season! I mean, we're in NEVADA; one of the entertainment capitals of the world! If you CAN'T sing here, I'm not sure WHERE you can sing!" / Squilliam Fancyson scratches his chin, and he says: "Hmmm, I wonder WHAT Squilivia WANTED to tell me before she was so RUDELY interrupted? Who am I KIDDING?!!! She OBVIOUSLY wants to tell me that she's ABSOLUTELY NUTS about a guy like me! And quite frankly, you can't BLAME her! I'm SMARTER than Squidward, AND more attractive, and I don't live next to two brain dead idiots who gave UP a title of winning a season of this show and genuinely LOST a chance to win a title of a season of this show respectively!" / Squilivia groans in frustration, and she says: "I'm not sure if Squilliam would understand, or how well he would take it...IF he takes it well at all, but I simply can't AFFORD to have a relationship this season! I know in terms of how these seasons have panned out, historically; contestants who didn't PLAY for someone they love didn't tend to do very well. But as far as I'm concerned, that means that this show is OVERDUE for someone who played AND won this game WITHOUT doing it for love! Besides, I have a healthy, non-ceited love for myself as a woman, and as a cephalopod. And that's all the love that I really need at the moment!" / Plankton says: "You really want to know why I'm competing on THIS show? It's because I'm SICK and tired of always somehow losing to Mr. Krabs and his PATHETIC excuse for employees; especially when only ONE of them is almost CONSTANTLY loyal to Mr. Krabs no matter what Mr. Krabs does! I figure that with the prize money I WILL earn when I finally WIN this season, I will be able to PAY scientists to find a way to make my Chum more edible, more healthy! And most importantly, more profitable! That way, I wouldn't NEED to waste my time with suffering pain and agony trying to unsuccessfully steal Mr. Krabs' Secret Formula, I'd have my own! And just LET Mr. Krabs try to steal MINE! Boy, will HE be in for a nasty SURPRISE!!!! MWA, HA, HA, HA!!!!" / Karen groans, and she says: "Evil gloating, first sign of a villain on a fast track to losing, and losing BADLY!!!! Does Plankton WANT to be the first contestant to be booted OFF of this show?! If so, he's doing a very good job! It's a good thing I signed on for this season to use my patented analysis abilities! The way I see it, he's going to NEED every ounce of computer data processing power that I can muster!" / Squidina says: "So...this is the first time I'm USING this Confessional thing...which I...guess is sort of obvious! I really THOUGHT that I would have something more CLEVER to say for my first time here. But now that I AM here, I'm kind of STUMPED! I mean, my brother, for his MANY short-comings and flaws; made speaking in a Confessional look SO easy! And for me it's like...HARD! I guess, that's just one of those skills I'm going to have to get the hang of! Nobody ever SAID competing in this game was going to be easy; but when was the last time anything TRULY fun and rewarding, was ever easy? I'm sure there have been SOME things in history...nothing comes to mind at the moment." / Lori is busy powdering her noes, and she says: "Look, I HAVE to win this season! Hello! I am 18 years old, and I am SO done living in an over-crowded house with ten other siblings! Whenever any of MY younger siblings, and my siblings are ALL younger than me; whenever they HAVE a problem, which TRUST me, is OFTEN; whenever Mom, or Dad, or someone SMART isn't available; they almost always run to me, crying and WHINING for me to solve their problems! I'm the OLDEST sister; I'm not THEIR magical Nanny or whatever, flying down on an umbrella to give them sugar with their medicine! Besides, that's not healthy OR that recommended! Besides, if ANY member of the Loud family had a CHANCE of winning one of these season's, it's GOING to be me! I AM the oldest, the smartest, AND the most attractive; and I don't dye my hair black or white like SOME of my siblings do!" / Skeeter, as if riffing off the LAST comment, immitates the familiar sound of "You Can't Do That On Television", and says: "Da-na-na-da-na-na, na!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Now that we've gotten your first Confessionals out of the way, it's time to meet some of our new Contestant Helper's, who helped build Paradise City and put everything in their proper place. And they will ALSO be helping judge and referee this season as needed." Bonnie Bass jogs in, wearing her trademark track suit. Bubble Bass floats down in on bubbles, and Blonda and Toddler Rube both magically 'Poof' in. Squilliam asks: "These are YOUR helpers?!" Bubble Bass says: "Watch what you say! By MY calculations, I've actually managed to get FAR more screen-time than YOU have on Spongebob Sqarepants alone by this point! And unlike you, I at least HAVE some humility and empathy, and I KNOW when I NEED to give it!" Squidina says: "OOH, he's got you THERE, Squilliam!" Squilliam says: "Don't talk to ME like YOU'RE a somebody; I make it a point to have as LITTLE social contact with LOSERS as is universally possible!" Sheen says: "Don't look now, you're already LOSING!" Henry actually STOPS, and thinks: "Wait a minute, is Sheen talking about LOSING to a Loser; just losing in general, or losing this challenge?" Karen says: "If I HAD to guess, my analysis tells me its some combination of all of the ABOVE!!!!" (Confessional) Henry says: "If that's NOT an Achievement In Ignorance, I don't know WHAT is!" / Sheen says: "Jimmy Neutron once told me that even a broken clock is right at least twice a day...whatever THAT means! Fortunately for me, UltraLord has a clock that is SO atomically precise, the odds that it is EVER wrong, are so astronomically low, as to be next to IMPOSSIBLE of ever actually happening! I just got to have the mind set of a heroic winner, and eventually; I'll win!" / Franz Flubb says: "And I thought that Guapo had some 'Insane Troll Logic'!" / Guapo says: "Insane Troll Logic? Is THAT what he's calling my reasoning skills now?" / Bubble Bass says: "Believe me, I'm just as surprised as ANYBODY to be back on this show, even if I'm technically WORKING and not a contestant! But I'm apparently so popular 'In-Universe', Sniz wanted to have me back, even if I wasn't a contestant! So this time, I brought my WHOLE family along! Of course, if I had known that it would eventually include...my father who I love VERY much in spite of flaws he SAYS he doesn't have; I probably would've asked for MORE money up front!" / Blonda says: "Taking care of a magical, talking fish toddler? That's ONE thing! Having to deal with Bubble Bass' Father?! That's a different beast entirely! And the only reason why I can say THAT is because I HAVE magic! Otherwise, I wouldn't recommend it, at ALL!!!!" (End Confessional) And as if on cue, loud stomping is heard, and it causes the lake to ripple! Sheen asks: "Is that a Space Tyrannosaurus Rex from Episode 1, Section A of 'The UltraLord Show'?!" Franz screams: "STOP MAKING BARF UP!!!! You're WORSE THAN MY BROTHER!!!!" Abby says: "How DARE you?!!! If you WEREN'T Guapo's brother, and I DIDN'T respect Guapo as a man honestly TRYING to do his best, and I weren't such a PROPER lady, I'd SLUG you!!!!" Franz says: "Try it and GET a Penalty Vote or four! I DARE--!!!!" But Franz NEVER gets to finish his thought, as he his decked HALFWAY across "Paradise City" by General Barracuda, who begins getting SHOCKED by a Shock Collar! Sniz sighs, and says: "And that's our...final Contestant Helper for this show. Our own Horatio Barracuda the First! But play it smart, and call him General Barracuda; you'll LIVE longer!" General Barracuda says: "AGH!!!! Why am I--AGH!!!!--Getting shocked by this--AGH!!!!--STUPID--AGH!!!!--COLLAR!!!!--AGH!!!!" Sniz groans, and he says: "General, I went OVER this on the phone with you. Your irrational anger with Spongebob LAST season was TOTALLY uncalled for, and what did it ACCOMPLISH? You FAILED to stop Spongebob from playing in the Final Challenge, and he STILL lost honestly ANYWAYS, without ANY outside assistance from you!" General Barracuda says: "Still doesn't explain--AGH!!!!--Why I'm--AGH!!!!--Having to wear this--AGH!!!!--STUPID--AGH!!!!--THING!!!!--AGH!!!!" Sniz says: "Look, Bonnie, Bubble Bass, Blonda, and Rube ALL agreed to be on this season to help YOU with your Anger Management lessons, in order for Bonnie to want to STAY married to you, and for Bubble Bass and Blonda to WANT you in the life of Rube! And to make sure you're actually LEARNING how to express your anger in a HEALTHY way and not EXPLODE irrationally at the drop of a hat, I had Blonda poof up a little extra insurance for you! An Automatic Anger Shock Collar to mildly shock you whenever you get irrationally angry. OR, whenever we need a good laugh! Sound fair?" General Barracuda scoffs, and without a single TRACE of sarcasm, he says: "You're kidding, right?! Do you have ANY idea on what MY life was like working for Master Coelaceanth?! He fitted ME with a Shock Collar in order to turn me into a rational, compassionate fish so that I wouldn't threaten to strangle any new help who wanted to work for him. TOTALLY worked like a charm!" Bonnie sighs, and says: "That's sadly, one of the more HONEST things I've ever heard him say." Sniz says: "Regardless, that Shock Collar is going to stay ON General Barracuda until he learns HOW to express his anger properly! Oh, and don't get ANY funny ideas about trying to REMOVE that Shock Collar! That Shock Collar is designed to give you SO much pain if you try to FORCIBLY remove, it will KNOCK you into a coma...until Nintendo finally decides to RELEASE the 'Earthbound' sequel from the Game Boy Advance! Boy, never thought I'd LIVE to see the day where I actually HOPED that 'Tempting Fate' would actually WORK!" General Barracuda groans, and he says: "Fine! I'll...try to behave and become a better fish!" General Barracuda, as if mustering ALL his available strength, points to Bubble Bass, and says: "I'll...do it...for...HIM!!!!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Wow! I never thought I would LIVE to see the day when I would become SOMEBODY'S 'Morality Pet', let alone my own Father's! If that kind of crazy thing can happen on the FIRST episode of this season, who knows what other kinds of crazy things can happen?!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Contestants, it's time to pack your bags. The Killer Crocodiles with stay at our replica Luxor Hotel; the Fearless Flamingos will stay at our replica Flamingo Hotel. We got to take a break, but when we come back, we will do our first challenge of Total Cartoon Paradise City!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

Another week, another...NICKEL!!!! That joke NEVER gets old! Anyways, I saw two movies since I last talked on here. At my local movie theater, they were showing "Citizen Kane" for one night only (long story I won't bother you with), and since I knew what the twist WAS before going to see the movie (there IS a reason there is a trope called "It Was His Sled"), for me, the movie was both more of a "Protagonist's Journey To Villain", and a "How We Got Here" movie more than anything else. And while I will admit that there were a lot of clever movie editing tricks introduced in that movie, the problem is; so many other movies SINCE than have not only copied those tricks, they have now since done them better! Still, I will say "Citizen Kane" is better than "Gone With The Wind", but not as good as "Casablanca" or "The Wizard Of Oz"; "Citizen Kane" gets a 98/100 from me. The other movie I saw was the English dub of "The Boy And The Heron". Very great English dub work by the American actors, BEAUTIFUL animation (as can be expected from Hayao Miyazaki), good music, and a VERY good story...even though there were a couple of scenes and details I felt the movie COULD have lived without, which caused the movie to lose a few points. But still, it's one of the best Anime films that I have seen in years!...Admittedly, I don't think the amount of Anime Films I've seen is quite that large yet, it's still pretty good! I'd give "The Boy And The Heron" a 95/100. Enough said, true believers!

...weirdest dog eyes that I have ever seen!

Because I'm not sure how to proceed on finishing my current mini-arc for "Power Rangers Multiverse Force" (and I want to be writing SOMETHING as opposed to NOTHING), I have decided to just jump right in and announce the new cast-members for the upcoming season of "Total Cartoon Paradise City!" Unlike any other season since the FIRST one, this season features an entirely NEW batch of contestants fighting it out with each other! In no particular order, the contestants are: Skeeter Valentine from "Doug"; Sheen Estevez from "The Adventures Of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius"; Franz Flubb from "The Brothers Flubb"; Gordon Quid from "Catscratch"; Henry from "Kablam!"; Abby from "Back At The Barnyard"; Squilliam Fancyson from "Spongebob Squarepants"; Guapo Flubb from "The Brothers Flubb"; Karen from "Spongebob Squarepants"; Plankton from "Spongebob Squarepants"; Squidina Star from "The Patrick Star Show"; Lori Loud from "The Loud House"; Squilivia from "Spongebob Squarepants"; and Freddy Ferret from "Back At The Barnyard". Unlike my past seasons, I decided to have the names of my episodes decided BEFORE I actually write them, so I have an idea of what I WANT to have happen, actually happen; and HOPEFULLY avoid Writer's Block as it has sometimes happened to me in the past! In regards to when "Total Cartoon Paradise City" will start; to quote the developer of "Spongebob Squarepants: Battle For Bikini Bottom Rehydrated", it will be ready, "When I'm Ready!" Enough said, true believers!

I'll pick Bob Dylan, Aretha Franklin, and Janet Jackson! / Bob Dylan: 1. "Blowing In The Wind" 2. "Maggie's Farm" 3. "Like A Rolling Stone" Aretha Franklin: 4. "I Never Loved A Man The Way That I Love You" 5. "Respect" 6. "I Knew You Were Waiting For Me" (With George Michael) Janet Jackson: 7. "Rhythm Nation" 8. "Escapade" 9. "Love Will Never Do Without You" / I hope you enjoyed looking at that list as much as I did coming up with it!

It's time to re-run the finale of "Total Cartoon Legends!" / Sniz is standing in front of a completely REBUILT Cadbury Castle, with a weary and worn-out General Barracuda, panting and wheezing against the rebuilt castle. Sniz says: "Previously on Total Cartoon Legends, due to some IDIOT who decided to REBUILD my entire studio into what I can only ASSUME was a museum dedicated to BATHROOMS for some odd reason, I quickly needed to come up with a new idea for a finale, stat! Luckily, Fondue came along, and suggested that I do the Final Two challenges on location, in jolly old England! But General Barracuda BACK here, just couldn't STAND the thought of Spongebob Squarepants STILL being in the competition! Deciding that he was NOT going to take any chances, General Barracuda decided to take matters into his OWN fins! He magically disguised himself as Tigress, and pick a FIGHT with Spongebob! The winner would get to determine the final contestants fighting in this season. During the course of events, General Barracuda got SO mad, he LITERALLY punched the Cadbury Castle into dust, and absolutely FUMED with fury when Spongebob managed to pull out Excalibur! That's 'TEMPTING FATE' General Barracuda, and SPOILER ALERT, you will ALWAYS lose no matter who it IS you're doing it to! In the end, General Barracuda couldn't seal the deal as his magical disguise wore off, and was disqualified. But instead of eliminating either Marlene or Yakkity, Spongebob somehow managed to LEGALLY...at least in THIS season, find a way to NOT eliminate anybody! So, not wanting to get into any OTHER ordeals, I decided to make this season finale a Final Three after all! As for General Barracuda? I decided to GRACEFULLY not press any charges against him, as LONG as he agreed to COMPLETELY rebuild the Cadbury Castle that he wrecked!" General Barracuda pants, and wheezes: "Every single BRICK, NO magic assitance, all by MYSELF!!!!" Sniz says: "I guess that proves that you really CAN'T solve all your problems by just punching them! Anyways, it's time to FINALLY have the FINALE of 'Total Cartoon Legends'!" And Olmec says: "It will be the legend, to top ALL LEGENDS!" / Instead of the usual show open, a montage showing all of Spongebob's, Marlene's, and Yakkity's greatest moments (as they out-last all of the other contestants) throughout Season 4B plays, as a familiar rocking song by Lenny Kravitz, "Are You Gonna Go My Way?"; plays in the background! Lenny Kravitz sings: (Instrumental Open) "I was born long ago. I am the chosen, I'm the one. I have come to save the day, and I won't leave until I'm done. So that's why you've got to try! You got to breath and have some fun! Though I'm not paid, I play this game. And I won't stop until I'm done! But what I really want to know is, are you gonna go my way?! And I got to, got to know! I don't know why we always cry. This we must leave and get undone. We must engage and rearrange, and turn this planet back to one. So tell me why we got to die, and kill each other one by one?! We've got to hug and rub-a-dub, we've got to dance and be in love! But what I really want to know is, are you gonna go my way?! And I got to got to know! (Instrumental Break) But what I really want to know is, are you gonna go my way?! 'Cause baby I got to know, yeah!" / And the musical sequence ends! / "The Legend Of The Holy Grail" / When the episode opens up properly, the Final Three contestants are dressed up in their traditional "Legends Of The Hidden Temple" contestant outfits, surrounded by the English Countryside, at the site of the Cadbury Castle in the English County of Somerset. Sniz announces: "Welcome back to the Finale that belongs to 'Total Cartoon Legends!' Now, in my OWN mind, there were several WAYS that I thought this season would end, EACH involving Marlene somehow getting to the season finale. But I must admit, I never ACTUALLY thought that Yakkity AND Spongebob would actually GET to it!" General Barracuda FINALLY regains his energy, and he yells: "See?! SEE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SNIZ AGREES WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The camera pans out, to show that the Final Three contestants are being surrounded by an audience of the FORMER contestants, minus Aang, Dora, Rube, and the Final Three's chosen helpers, and they all simultaneously shout: "SHUT UP, GENERAL BARRACUDA!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "SERIOUSLY; you're like a BROKEN record! Spongebob is HERE, you LOST; get OVER it!!!!" General Barracuda screams: "You know what?! NO!!!! NO, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and NO!!!! I cannot, and WILL not tolerate that LOSER being in the Final Three! My reputation FORBIDS me from living in ANY universe where that WEAK...WEAKLING can be in ANY competition...let alone THIS one, where he can actually POSE as a VIABLE candidate, let alone one that STANDS to win the Final Three! Luckily for me, I won't have to; since MY contract has LEGALLY allowed me to FORCE every single former contestant, except for Aang, Dora and Future Rube, to come BACK here! Which means that like I was SAYING before I was so RUDELY interrupted; and here she IS!!!!" Tigress, is revealed to BE present, but she currently has EARMUFFS over her ears, a BLINDER over her eyes, and is completely RESTRAINED by the STRONGEST magical restraints EVER created! Tigress moves her head around, and she says: "Uh, Po; I have NO idea what's going on, but I just had a WEIRD feeling that General Barracuda WANTS me to do something bad, just to prove some STUPID point to Spongebob..." and saying as one word, she adds: "...whomayorwhomaynotbeherebuteitherwayit'stotallyfinebecauseIdon'tcareandIwantyouhappy!" Po says: "Tigress has SPOKEN, General Barracuda! You're just LUCKY that she's no longer pregnant and COULD come here on such short notice, and that Master Crane was WILLING to babysit our children! But either way, she's NOT going to fight your STUPID fight for you! Just let your anger go, General Barracuda! Everything that has happened between you and Spongebob in the past, it's time to put all that past behind you!" General Barracuda angrily says: "I'll NEVER let it go!!!! This is for ALL the villains who have EVER been defeated by the STUPID forces of GOOD!!!! I'll show YOU the TRUE power of money!!!! I'm turning THIS into a FREE FOR ALL!!!! WHOEVER can BEAT THAT PATHETIC SPONGEBOB UNTIL HE'S NOTHING MORE THAN A PATHETIC BLOB OF PRIMAL JUICE, I WILL GIVE the CHAMPIONSHIP and GRAND PRIZE!!!!" Than everyone STARES at Tigress, as she SOMEHOW hears the statement, and beyond ALL expectations, she actually manages to break FREE from her restraints, and her earmuffs and blinder pop OFF of her! Blonda sputters, and she says: "THAT...was the STRONGEST magic I ever USED!!!! NOBODY could break through that magic!" Johnny Krill says: "Uh, I'm gonna go with your OWN standby; 'She's SO super-powerful, she's invulnerable to magic'!" General Barracuda is positively giddy, and says: "Of COURSE she is!!!! I KNEW having Anti-Cosmo WASTE all his magic trying to CORRUPT you would make you INVULNERABLE to all magic! Now it's time to claim your PRIZE, TIGRESS!!!! Make the FOOL SUFFER!!!!" But Tigress angrily says: "NO!!!! You had Anti-Cosmo try to USE me; Master Coelaceanth tried to use me, even I tried to use me, but I will not be USED by ANYONE any LONGER!!!! YOU used to tell me that the only thing WORTHWHILE in this world was WINNING at any cost!!!! But there is absolutely NOTHING that's going to make it worthwhile for me to BETRAY Po's trust in me, and make me ABANDON what I know is right! As far as I can see it, the only FOOL around here, is YOU!!!!" General Barracuda seethes with LITERAL red face anger, and he says: "How DARE you talk to me THAT WAY?!!! Have you FORGOTTEN every single MOVE I ever TAUGHT YOU?!!! HAVE you forgotten EVERY SINGLE physical event I ever had you COMPETE in?! Have you FORGOTTEN how I first took you in when NOBODY ELSE would?!" Po asks: "What is he TALKING about, Tigress? The only reason YOU'VE done anything is to impress your dad!" Tigress sighs, and says: "I suspected this after YOU became the Dragon Warrior and beat Tai Lung, but...I never HAD the heart to open THIS until now." And Tigress hands Po an already opened letter, and Po reads out the letter and reads: "'To Whom It May Concern, we regret to inform you that your birth father, Randy Macho Tiger Savage has passed away. He was apparently so HURT that YOU didn't become the Dragon Warrior, that he died of a broken heart.' Tigress...I, didn't know." Tigress says: "My real parents didn't have the MEANS to take care of me! That's why they initially gave me to General Barracuda. General Barracuda made me believe that if I just worked hard enough, and wanted it BADLY enough, that one day, my REAL dad would come back for me, and I'd GET the happy life that I always wanted! But ALL that training, all that preparation, all the INSULTS, was it ALL for NOTHING?!!! I always thought if I NEVER opened that letter, that SOMEHOW it wouldn't be true! But...my father is DEAD; and EVERYTHING is WORSE now!" General Barracuda mockingly says: "Ah, boo-hoo-hoo! That cry, cry, cry, weeping sound is DISGUSTING! But that's what you ALWAYS did whenever I YELLED at you for not being GOOD enough! It's no WONDER you DIDN'T become the Dragon Warrior! Why did I ever THINK you had the chance to be the Dragon Warrior?! I thought that I was actually CAPABLE of making you AMOUNT to something! I THOUGHT YOU ACTUALLY HAD A FEW BRAINS!!!! 'GREAT FUTURE', Tigress! A MOTHER to some FOUR future panda/tiger hybrids! Nothing more than a SHELL of what a GREAT martial artist SHOULD be! 'CONGRATULATIONS', Tigress!" Po angrily says: "How DARE you talk to MY wife like that?! You have no RIGHT to do that! And how DARE you treat her as BADLY as you have! YOU'RE the reason Tigress got SO messed up and SO fixated on winning?! And you have the NERVE to insult her NOW, AFTER ALL the GREAT PROGRESS she's made over the YEARS?! While YOU; you've spent all your time FIXATED trying to beat someone YOU perceive as WEAK and USELESS, all because your FRAGILE little ego can't STAND the thought of someone LIKE him might ACTUALLY prove to be good or COMPETENT at something that YOU'RE not!" General Barracuda angrily says: "Like any of YOU are any better?! You're not better than me! You're all FLAWED like me! We're ALL DAMAGED!!!! That's what we are! And there's only ONE way to not be DAMAGED, and that's if you actually WIN!!!!" Squidward says: "You know, I thought that way MYSELF for a long time! I thought that if I just shut myself off from ANYONE who thought differently than me, or didn't behave like me, that one day; things would HAVE to go MY way because of MY genius and talent! But I've ALREADY tried doing that for some 42 LONG years; it DOESN'T work!" Kowalski says: "Skipper might have some crazy impulses, but HE has never turned his back on loving Marlene!" Private says: "Marlene has helped him become a better penguin, and his plans are better NOW than they were BEFORE he married her!" Kaput says: "I thought being a saboteur would be the best way to help me get through life, until I discovered that the only one I was TRULY sabotaging was myself!" Johnny Krill says: "I TRIED going evil once, since that's what Tigress' behavior towards ME indicated as to that's what I should do, but now I KNOW she only did that because that's what YOU conditioned her to do to others!" Haggis says: "I've been in THIS industry long enough to know that anger does NOTHING in helping you actually SOLVE your problems!" Monster says: "I've found out that only by being TRUE to yourself, and being NICE to others; helps you get what YOU want most out of life!" Snaptrap says: "Even your SON, Bubble Bass; was willing to help me even when I THOUGHT that I couldn't be helped! Now, I finally realize that living with irrational anger and hatred, is no way to go through life! It JUST makes you miserable!" Darwin says: "Even if you actually MANAGED to get your revenge, than what? What would you do than? Do you honestly think that GETTING your revenge would FILL the bottomless void in your heart that you, YOURSELF created? I highly DOUBT that!" Heffer says: "That would be like ME trying to fill the void in my life by EATING! The difference is, I've had TIME to realize MY mistakes, admit them, and do something to fix them! I don't WANT to be a leech to my adopted wolf parents all my life! I...want to be a Camp Master instead!" Bulma weirdly asks: "Camp Master? That's a NEW one!" Judy Funny says: "It's fine if you want to ACT like you HAVE a good reason for being angry! But being angry just because you THINK you can, is no way to go through life, General Barracuda!" Sway-Sway says: "I can speak from PERSONAL experience! I got angry, all because I was jealous that Buhdeuce learned how to fly! I should've been happy that he learned how to achieve something great on his own, as his BEST friend!" Invader Zim says: "Trying to do something just because you THINK someone else wants you to, is NOT going to make you happy, General Barracuda! Doing something because it's the RIGHT thing to do, is!" Gonard says: "Only by loving someone else in a kind, genuine, appropriate way is EVER going to make YOU feel happy about yourself, General Barracuda!" Blonda says: "I used to think that the only things that matter in this world, were my own beauty, talents, and ego. But now I know that the TRUE way to live a happy life, is to share it with someone who loves you DESPITE your flaws, because they KNOW that you're willing to improve yourself in SPITE of the flaws that you have!" Squidward says: "I've learned that if you go around, irrationally hating someone else just BECAUSE you can; you will ultimately do it alone, and I mean ALONE!!!!" Tigress says: "I almost made the WORST mistake of my LIFE by trying to think like you, by trying to impress you! I now know that I should NEVER try to impress someone who was NEVER going to be impressed, no matter HOW successful I was!" Otto Rocket says: "I might enjoy winning, but even I've learned that winning means NOTHING if you don't HAVE any actual friends that you can hang out with!" Dog says: "Even if you don't ALWAYS succeed in winning, as long as you DO your best and BE your best around others; than your life will STILL be worthwhile!" Zarbon says: "Beauty may easily leave you, but regrets are much harder to do so. Don't be filled with hate and regret; it will NEVER give you what you are seeking!" Super Chum says: "Only by doing things that HELP other people, and doing your best to make the world a better place, will you EVER feel happy with who you ARE, General Barracuda!" Kitty says: "You can't automatically think the WORST of others! If you ALWAYS do that, you'll wind up with NO friends, and no one who WILL trust you! You can't spend YOUR life always thinking like that!" Jenny says: "You can be as smart as you WANT to be, you can even be as TOUGH as you want to be! But those qualities are practically MEANINGLESS without humility and acceptance! I wasn't programmed with those things, but even I have learned just how important those qualities ARE!" Treeflower says: "The biggest reason I lost was BECAUSE I was so fixated on making someone else LOSE just to stroke MY own ego, I completely missed out on the ability to actually have FUN this season! If I COULD do it all over again, I would NEVER have put MY ego over the ability to have had friends and lasting relationships!" Gerald says: "You can live life, always being paranoid about everything. But if you do, you're going to miss out on ALL that life has to offer you!" Fee says: "I thought I could get by through life without HAVING to learn anything important! But now I know that if you don't learn the truth, however HARD it might be to accept; about everything that you can, you're only hurting yourself in the long run!" Harvey says: "And if on the off chance you DO get angry at someone, you should APOLOGIZE when you realize that they might have honestly NOT known any better! Because people don't always know when they've done something wrong! You have to be KIND and forgiving if you WANT them to learn from their mistakes!" Daggett says: "I made many of MY mistakes because I was so stubborn on NOT listening! But I've learned than when you're NOT listening; you'll just wind up making the SAME meaningless mistakes over and over again!" Pearl says: "If you HELP other people out, you'll end up helping YOURSELF out; because you're not just making someone else's life better, you're making your OWN life better by being altruistic!" Bulma says: "I've spent most of MY life walking around, thinking I was SMARTER than everyone else; but now that I'm (mutters her age under her breath), I now know that it is NOT a good idea to do that! Because if you ACT like you're smarter than everyone else, even IF you actually are, you're just setting yourself up to be BLINDSIDED when people turn out to BE smarter than you THINK they are!" Keswick says: "It's not always easy, but you CAN overcome your own flaws! Maybe it MIGHT be hard work, but the pay-off is ALWAYS worth it in the end!" Taotie says: "In the end, anger will end up making your OWN life more miserable than anybody elses! I don't want to see anyone making the same senseless mistake I made by being senselessly angry!" Stimpy says: "Even if you CAN'T forget and SHOULDN'T, you should ALWAYS be willing to forgive!" Sandy says: "I learned that you CAN'T underestimate the abilities of other people! Even if they can't and don't WANT to do the same things you do, they have other ways of being great all on their OWN!" Larry says: "It's FINE to have a strong body, but you should also have a kind mind and a good heart, if you want others to like you in a good way!" Wally says: "Even if the people you love can't always BE around with you; love is important to have because it's the greatest meaning in life to love someone else who loves you back in a good, healthy way." Chameleon says: "I can change into anybody, but I wouldn't WANT to change into something I'm not; and I would never WANT to change into an irrationally angry being ever again!" Bubble Bass says: "I've been in some episodes of 'Spongebob Squarepants' where I've done things that I'm not proud of; but I've NEVER acted out of sheer malevolence, and did things just for the sake of doing them. Often, I did it as an opportunity for Spongebob to grow and develop as a character." Po says: "I may have become the Dragon Warrior, but even I don't always need to WIN! If someone has a need more noble than yours, you should always tray and help them out in their goals!" Dudley says: "Even if you MAKE a mistake, it's not a waste of time if you can LEARN from it, and become better DOING the things you LIKE to do!" Buhdeuce says: "Only by experiencing something, can you learn how to do something, and eventually become good at doing it!" Yakkity says: "When all is said and done, I do things because I LOVE; my mom and grandma among many others, and I know that they will love me back as long as I try my best!" Spongebob says: "We're all on the same page on this subject, General Barracuda. We ALL want to have this world be a better place than when we found it!" Marlene says: "And we PLAN on doing it, either WITH or WITHOUT you!" Bubble Bass says: "And if the future version of my son were here, I'm SURE he'd feel the same way! So do you WANT to be part of the positive change, or not?!" General Barracuda ruminates, as if honestly THINKING about the whole situation, and he says: "That is utterly...SICKENING!!!! You ALL sound like pages from some kind of stupid self-help book! If I WANTED to read a Self-Help book, I'd read a piece of complete and UTTER fiction like THE--!" Sniz says: "Be careful with your NEXT word! Just because YOU think it's fiction, that doesn't mean other people will think so! People have DIED fighting for what they believed in, EVEN if that belief was actually wrong!" General Barracuda angrily says: "BARNACLES!!!! Now I forgot what I was GOING to say next! But it's ALL irrelevant! Spongebob would NEVER be able to fight his way through the Olmec altered Castle of Cadbury in order to FIND the Holy Grail, especially when he has to get past ME, and The Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh! And PLEASE don't MAKE the subtitle people have to subtitle THAT one again, they had a hard enough job subtitling all of YOUR dialogue!" Marlene says: "Luckily for me, Skipper actually THOUGHT ahead for once, and prepared me with a little device for just SUCH an occasion!" Marlene pulls out a very familiar object, hands it to Spongebob, than she gives a piece of paper to Yakkity, and Marlene says: "Read it, and WEEP; General Barracuda!" And Yakkity reads aloud: "'And thus Skipper spake'--whatever 'Spake' means--'saying; First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Than shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, except that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, than lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch'--Antioch, California MAKES Holy Hand Grenades?!!!--'towards thy foe, who, being naughty in MY sight, shall snuff it'." Marlene says: "You heard it, Spongebob! Pull out the pin, and count to three!" Spongebob pulls out the pin, and says: "One, two, FIVE!" Yakkity says: "NO; than THREE!!!!" Spongebob says: "THREE!!!!" And Spongebob THROWS the Holy Hand Grenade, and not ONLY does he blow up The Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh!, it causes the GUEST animators who were ANIMATING them, who ALL happened to be unapologetic JERKWADS who worked for "Teen Titans Go!", to suddenly (but not at all unexpectedly), suddenly and IRREVERSIBLY die from heart attacks! Marlene turns to Spongebob and says: "Spongebob, WHY did you say, 'Five'?!" Spongebob says: "Well, it's very hard to NOT think something when someone tells you NOT to think it; that's like ASKING to HAVE someone think of it!" Bubble Bass says: "That's...actually a pretty logical reason why he THOUGHT that!" General Barracuda says: "Be that as it may, Holy Hand Grenades are VERY rare and expensive; and you won't be ABLE to get the Holy Grail--." Buhdeuce asks: "The Holy Grail?!" General Barracuda sputters, and he says: "Haven't I MENTIONED that's what THIS Legend is ALL about?!" Sniz honestly says: "Uh, no. Everyone was kind of BUSY trying to HELP you, and you rebuked them NEEDLESSLY!" General Barracuda says: "Well, this IS The Legend of The Holy Grail! Thought that I should SAY what the Legend was at least ONCE! And you won't be able to FIND The Holy Grail, or get past ME, unless you answer my questions THREE!" Bubble Bass rolls his eyes, as though he CAN'T actually BELIEVE that General Barracuda actually THINKS he will succeed, but decides to roll with it anyways! Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "Very well, than. Give it your best shot!" General Barracuda says: "Immediate family, first! What is your name?" Bubble Bass says: "Horratio Barracuda the Second, AKA Bubble Bass." General Barracuda asks: "What is your quest?" Bubble Bass says: "To seek the Holy Grail." General Barracuda asks: "What is your favorite color?" Bubble Bass says: "Green!" General Barracuda says: "Than you may pass!" And Bubble Bass goes into Cadbury Castle. General Barracuda turns to Sandy, and asks: "What is your name?" Sandy says: "Sandy Cheeks Squarepants!" General Barracuda asks: "What is your quest?" Sandy says: "To seek the Holy Grail." General Barracuda asks: "WHY did Warner Bros. waste TEN years of EVERYONE'S time INCLUDING their own trying to promote 'Teen Titans Go!'?!" Sandy honestly says: "I don't KNOW--(SPROING!!!!)--THAT!!!!" And Sandy Cheeks is flung far away!!!! General Barracuda turns to Bulma, and he asks: "What is your name?" Bulma says: "Legally, Bulma Briefs!" General Barracuda asks: "What is your quest?" Bulma says: "To seek the Holy Grail." General Barracuda asks: "What is your favorite color?" And without even THINKING, Bulma just says: "Green! No! (SPROING!!!!) BLUE!!!!" And Bulma is flung far away!!!! General Barracuda honestly says: "Wow, I thought SHE would have really GOTTEN that one!" Than General Barracuda turns to Marlene, Spongebob, and Yakkity, and General Barracuda asks: "What are your names?" Marlene says: "Marlene!" Spongebob says: "Spongebob Squarepants!" Yakkity says: "Yakkity Yak!" General Barracuda asks: "What is your quest?" And Spongebob, Marlene, and Yakkity all simultaneously answer: "To seek the Holy Grail!" Than General Barracuda gets a DEVIOUS grin like Chuck Jones' version of "The Grinch," and he maliciously asks: "What is the weight of the average swallow?!" And Spongebob immediately asks: "Is that an African Swallow, or a European Swallow?!" And General Barracuda is STUMPED as he's NOT sure which one Spongebob WOULDN'T know, so he says: "Well, I don't--(SPROING!!!!)--KNOW!!!!" And General Barracuda is flung far away! Blonda chuckles, and she says: "I took a little magical precaution, and rigged it so that even General Barracuda would be flung away if he couldn't answer correctly!" Bubble Bass comes back, and he gives Blonda a BIG hug, and he says: "Blonda, I am SO glad I married you! Don't EVER lose that spunk!" Blonda shrugs, and she says: "Eh, it's a fair cop." Spongebob says: "So General Barracuda is gone for good?" Sniz says: "As far as THIS season is concerned he is! But, Johnny Krill has expressed NO interest in taking HIS place for next season, so we'll just get General Barracuda some Anger Management and set up some kind of SHOCK system on him if he EVER pulls any stunts like that in any FUTURE seasons of this show!" Marlene says: "Well, that's good to know!" Sniz says: "Well, we've exhausted ALL the time we COULD'VE spent crossing a moat OR going down the Steps of Knowledge, so we'll just skip STRAIGHT to the Temple Challenge, which is also the Final Challenge! Who can FIGHT their way and claim the Holy Grail?!" Tigress says: "Well, I obviously COULD have GIVEN it a shot...not for General Barracuda's sake, but because I felt like it!" Zarbon says: "Well, no SANE person is going to argue the capabilities of YOUR strength; not after what YOU displayed this season, anyways!" Sniz says: "Well, unfortunately; we've had to spend an unexpected LOT of money for this season, even by OUR standards; so I'm afraid the only FINAL challenge we could afford was getting past a bunch of Sea Bunnies, like the ones Spongebob is familiar with." Yakkity is ABOUT to say something, but Marlene QUICKLY moves her hand in front of his mouth, and she says: "WAIT for the CATCH to come!" Sniz says: "Who's homes have all been infested by NEMATOADS! So, needless to say; they are all LITERALLY, Hopping Mad!" And true enough, all the Sea Bunnies stop hopping around all agitated and crazy! Fee screams: "AHHH!!!! I always KNEW my FATE would be determined by a crazy, killer rabbit; just like that CRAZY Gypsy said! I always THOUGHT she meant DADE, though!" And everyone LOOKS at Blonda, as if expecting HER to do something! Blonda says: "Don't look at ME; I exhausted all of MY magic for today, poofing up Tigress' restraints AND rigging General Barracuda to be launched away!" Kitty Katswell says: "Oh, I'd accept help from ANYTHING right now!" And an unexpected, squeaky voice suddenly says: "Did somebody say ANYTHING?!!!" And a familiar, jaunty tune comes by in a black and white steamboat, as coconuts are LAUNCHED at the Sea Bunnies, and "Steamboat Willy" Mickey Mouse is whistling his familiar tune! Bubble Bass turns to Blonda, and he says: "I thought you said you DIDN'T have anymore magic for today!" Blonda says: "That's an even HIGHER power! Copyright protection expiration! Thank you, Sonny Bono!" And all of the Sea Bunnies are conked out with coconuts! Spongebob says: "Thanks for the help, 'Steamboat Willy' Mickey Mouse!" "Steamboat Willy" Mickey Mouse says: "No problem, everybody gets ONE; and thank you for using me in a RESPECTFUL matter unlike SOME people!" And "Steamboat Willy" Mickey Mouse sails away! Yakkity turns to Spongebob, and he says: "Well, I guess it's finally time to determine..." Than he looks around, and he asks: "Hey! Where did MARLENE go?!!!" And from inside the Castle , Marlene shouts: "I've got it! I've got the Holy Grail! I've actually GOT the Holy Grail!" Bubble Bass says: "Run for the entrance, Marlene! Run straight for it, and don't stop til you get here!" And to the musical tune of "I've Got A Golden Ticket", Marlene successfully runs to the castle, holding the Holy Grail in her hands, and she says: "I've got it! The Final Legend of this season, the Holy Grail is MINE!!!!" Wally sputters, and he says: "WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's NOT the way that either the second 'Monty Python' film OR the third 'Indiana Jones' film ended!" Marlene says: "So? You want to tell a story your OWN way, go make your OWN series! And SPOILER ALERT, it's a LOT harder than it looks!" Yakkity shrugs and says: "Eh, I'll settle for third place! You've had a LOT more character development THIS season than I have, Spongebob! You deserve Second Place more than I do!" Spongebob blushes and he says: "Thank you! But truth be told, I couldn't have had most of my character development without all the other contestants on this season; EVEN Aang, Dora, and Future Rube, wherever they are!" Johnny Krill asks: "So, what happens now; Sniz?" Sniz says: "Well, we've exhausted all the Legends that WE wanted to do for this season! Luckily for us, I've already got the NEXT season already lined up! We're going to NEVADA, to a city called Paradise; where anything and EVERYTHING under the sun might and possibly WILL happen, and eliminations may all be determined by LUCK, not just skill! We haven't figured out who will compete in it yet, but it will be interesting!" Marlene asks: "As interesting as ME actually WINNING this half of season 4?" Sniz honestly says: "Well, it will be interesting in its OWN way! Well, this season might not have COMPLETELY gone the way I thought it would; but it sure WAS an intersting ride! Good-bye for now, and Fondue, General Barracuda, and I will see you NEXT season on 'Total Cartoon Paradise City'!" Olmec says: "And thank you for ALL the Legends!" / Stinger: General Barracuda has found a floating Mine Cart in the ocean, the SAME Mine Cart used by Aang and Snaptrap earlier this season, and he's floating on the ocean; thinking about all the time he wasted on irrationally hanging Spongebob, and whether it was worth the time he spent instead of trying to get to know his son or his grandson better, all while The Eagles' hit song, "Wasted Time" plays in the background. Don Henley sings: "Well, baby, there you stand; with your little head down in your hand. Oh, my God, you can't believe it's happening again. Your baby's gone, and you're all alone and it looks like the end. And you're back out on the street. And you're tryin' to remember. How do you start it over? You don't know if you can. You don't care much for a stranger's touch, but you can't hold your man. You never thought you'd be alone this far down the line. And I know what's been on your mind; you're afraid it's all been wasted time. The autumn leaves have got you thinking about the first time that you fell. You didn't love the boy too much, no, no; you just loved the boy too well; well, well. So you live from day to day, and you dream about tomorrow. And the hours go by like minutes, and the shadows come to stay. So you take a little something to make them go away. I could have done so many things, baby. If I could only stop my mind. From wonderin' what I left behind. And from worrying 'bout this wasted time! (Musical Break) Another love has come and gone, and the years keep rushing on. I remember what you told me before you went out on your own, 'Sometimes to keep it together, we got to leave it alone.' So you can get on with your search, baby; and I can get on with mine. And maybe someday we will find, that it wasn't really wasted time!" (Musical Finish) / Episode Notes: Season Finale of "Total Cartoon Legends", Marlene wins first place, with Yakkity settling for third, and letting Spongebob have second place. "Steamboat Willy" Mickey Mouse makes a cameo appearance in this episode, due to his copyright protection FINALLY expiring! Featured songs in this episode are Lenny Kravitz's "Are You Gonna Go My Way", and The Eagles "Wasted Time". The episode makes several references to "Monty Python And The Holy Grail". / Eliminated Contestants: 46. Kowalski. 45. Private. 44. Kaput. 43. Johnny Krill. 42. Haggis McHaggis. 41. Monster Krumholtz. 40. Aang. 39. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 38. Darwin. 37. Heffer Wolfe. 36. Judy Funny. 35. Sway-Sway. 34. Invader Zim. 33. Gonard. 32. Blonda. 31. Squidward Tentacles. 30. Dora the Explorer. 29. Tigress. 28. Otto Rocket. 27. Dog. 26. Zarbon. 25. Super Chum. 24. Kitty Katswell. 23. Jenny Wakeman. 22. Treeflower Fields. 21. Gerald. 20. Fee. 19. Harvey Beaks. 18. Daggett Beaver. 17. Pearl Krabs Barracuda. 16. Bulma Briefs. 15. Keswick. 14. Taotie. 13. Stimpy J. Cat. 12. Sandy Cheeks. 11. Larry The Lobster. 10. Wally. 9. Future Adult Rube Goldfish. 8. Chameleon. 7. Bubble Bass. 6. Po. 5. Dudley Puppy. 4. Buhdeuce. 3. Yakkity Yak. 2. Spongebob Squarepants. 1. WINNER: Marlene Otter! / Personal Notes: Honestly, I should have known right from the start that I was "Tempting Fate" LAST season, by making the Alternate Ending of Season 4A where Private wins, than DECLARING that there would never BE another season where a contestant from "The Penguins Of Madagascar" would ever WIN another season of the "Total Cartoon" series. But in MY defense, I had 45 OTHER contestants vying to be the winner this season, and I HONESTLY thought that I'd be able to find ANOTHER female contestant who would prove to be a compelling winner! Eventually though, I decided to let Marlene have the win; mostly because unlike Yakkity and Spongebob, she didn't GO through as much Character Development as they did this season; and the only way to really JUSTIFY her being in this season, was so she eventually GOT the win, and all on her own terms! That's why I decided to end this season the way I did! I'm not sure when I'll start the next season, but this will be the place WHERE I will start it! Enough said, true believers!

In movie theaters, I saw the live-action movie "Aquaman And The Lost Kingdom" with my girlfriend! I personally thought it was a VAST improvement over the live-action movie of "The Flash!" Jason Momoa, Dolph Lundgren, and all the other actors were solid in this VERY great story! I could have lived WITHOUT a couple of unnecessary gross scenes, and its a SHAME that this is the final OFFICIAL movie entry in the DCEU. Oh, well. Guess we'll have to see what happens when the DC launches their new movie universe, which they're just calling the DCU! I'd give this movie a 95/100! (Like I said, it lost a couple of points due to the gross scenes). Enough said, true believers!

At long last, mercifully, season 4B shall finally come to an end. It is now time to reveal the champion in the finale of "Total Cartoon Legends!" / Sniz is standing in front of a completely REBUILT Cadbury Castle, with a weary and worn-out General Barracuda, panting and wheezing against the rebuilt castle. Sniz says: "Previously on Total Cartoon Legends, due to some IDIOT who decided to REBUILD my entire studio into what I can only ASSUME was a museum dedicated to BATHROOMS for some odd reason, I quickly needed to come up with a new idea for a finale, stat! Luckily, Fondue came along, and suggested that I do the Final Two challenges on location, in jolly old England! But General Barracuda BACK here, just couldn't STAND the thought of Spongebob Squarepants STILL being in the competition! Deciding that he was NOT going to take any chances, General Barracuda decided to take matters into his OWN fins! He magically disguised himself as Tigress, and pick a FIGHT with Spongebob! The winner would get to determine the final contestants fighting in this season. During the course of events, General Barracuda got SO mad, he LITERALLY punched the Cadbury Castle into dust, and absolutely FUMED with fury when Spongebob managed to pull out Excalibur! That's 'TEMPTING FATE' General Barracuda, and SPOILER ALERT, you will ALWAYS lose no matter who it IS you're doing it to! In the end, General Barracuda couldn't seal the deal as his magical disguise wore off, and was disqualified. But instead of eliminating either Marlene or Yakkity, Spongebob somehow managed to LEGALLY...at least in THIS season, find a way to NOT eliminate anybody! So, not wanting to get into any OTHER ordeals, I decided to make this season finale a Final Three after all! As for General Barracuda? I decided to GRACEFULLY not press any charges against him, as LONG as he agreed to COMPLETELY rebuild the Cadbury Castle that he wrecked!" General Barracuda pants, and wheezes: "Every single BRICK, NO magic assitance, all by MYSELF!!!!" Sniz says: "I guess that proves that you really CAN'T solve all your problems by just punching them! Anyways, it's time to FINALLY have the FINALE of 'Total Cartoon Legends'!" And Olmec says: "It will be the legend, to top ALL LEGENDS!" / Instead of the usual show open, a montage showing all of Spongebob's, Marlene's, and Yakkity's greatest moments (as they out-last all of the other contestants) throughout Season 4B plays, as a familiar rocking song by Lenny Kravitz, "Are You Gonna Go My Way?"; plays in the background! Lenny Kravitz sings: (Instrumental Open) "I was born long ago. I am the chosen, I'm the one. I have come to save the day, and I won't leave until I'm done. So that's why you've got to try! You got to breath and have some fun! Though I'm not paid, I play this game. And I won't stop until I'm done! But what I really want to know is, are you gonna go my way?! And I got to, got to know! I don't know why we always cry. This we must leave and get undone. We must engage and rearrange, and turn this planet back to one. So tell me why we got to die, and kill each other one by one?! We've got to hug and rub-a-dub, we've got to dance and be in love! But what I really want to know is, are you gonna go my way?! And I got to got to know! (Instrumental Break) But what I really want to know is, are you gonna go my way?! 'Cause baby I got to know, yeah!" / And the musical sequence ends! / "The Legend Of The Holy Grail" / When the episode opens up properly, the Final Three contestants are dressed up in their traditional "Legends Of The Hidden Temple" contestant outfits, surrounded by the English Countryside, at the site of the Cadbury Castle in the English County of Somerset. Sniz announces: "Welcome back to the Finale that belongs to 'Total Cartoon Legends!' Now, in my OWN mind, there were several WAYS that I thought this season would end, EACH involving Marlene somehow getting to the season finale. But I must admit, I never ACTUALLY thought that Yakkity AND Spongebob would actually GET to it!" General Barracuda FINALLY regains his energy, and he yells: "See?! SEE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SNIZ AGREES WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The camera pans out, to show that the Final Three contestants are being surrounded by an audience of the FORMER contestants, minus Aang, Dora, Rube, and the Final Three's chosen helpers, and they all simultaneously shout: "SHUT UP, GENERAL BARRACUDA!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "SERIOUSLY; you're like a BROKEN record! Spongebob is HERE, you LOST; get OVER it!!!!" General Barracuda screams: "You know what?! NO!!!! NO, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and NO!!!! I cannot, and WILL not tolerate that LOSER being in the Final Three! My reputation FORBIDS me from living in ANY universe where that WEAK...WEAKLING can be in ANY competition...let alone THIS one, where he can actually POSE as a VIABLE candidate, let alone one that STANDS to win the Final Three! Luckily for me, I won't have to; since MY contract has LEGALLY allowed me to FORCE every single former contestant, except for Aang, Dora and Future Rube, to come BACK here! Which means that like I was SAYING before I was so RUDELY interrupted; and here she IS!!!!" Tigress, is revealed to BE present, but she currently has EARMUFFS over her ears, a BLINDER over her eyes, and is completely RESTRAINED by the STRONGEST magical restraints EVER created! Tigress moves her head around, and she says: "Uh, Po; I have NO idea what's going on, but I just had a WEIRD feeling that General Barracuda WANTS me to do something bad, just to prove some STUPID point to Spongebob..." and saying as one word, she adds: "...whomayorwhomaynotbeherebuteitherwayit'stotallyfinebecauseIdon'tcareandIwantyouhappy!" Po says: "Tigress has SPOKEN, General Barracuda! You're just LUCKY that she's no longer pregnant and COULD come here on such short notice, and that Master Crane was WILLING to babysit our children! But either way, she's NOT going to fight your STUPID fight for you! Just let your anger go, General Barracuda! Everything that has happened between you and Spongebob in the past, it's time to put all that past behind you!" General Barracuda angrily says: "I'll NEVER let it go!!!! This is for ALL the villains who have EVER been defeated by the STUPID forces of GOOD!!!! I'll show YOU the TRUE power of money!!!! I'm turning THIS into a FREE FOR ALL!!!! WHOEVER can BEAT THAT PATHETIC SPONGEBOB UNTIL HE'S NOTHING MORE THAN A PATHETIC BLOB OF PRIMAL JUICE, I WILL GIVE the CHAMPIONSHIP and GRAND PRIZE!!!!" Than everyone STARES at Tigress, as she SOMEHOW hears the statement, and beyond ALL expectations, she actually manages to break FREE from her restraints, and her earmuffs and blinder pop OFF of her! Blonda sputters, and she says: "THAT...was the STRONGEST magic I ever USED!!!! NOBODY could break through that magic!" Johnny Krill says: "Uh, I'm gonna go with your OWN standby; 'She's SO super-powerful, she's invulnerable to magic'!" General Barracuda is positively giddy, and says: "Of COURSE she is!!!! I KNEW having Anti-Cosmo WASTE all his magic trying to CORRUPT you would make you INVULNERABLE to all magic! Now it's time to claim your PRIZE, TIGRESS!!!! Make the FOOL SUFFER!!!!" But Tigress angrily says: "NO!!!! You had Anti-Cosmo try to USE me; Master Coelaceanth tried to use me, even I tried to use me, but I will not be USED by ANYONE any LONGER!!!! YOU used to tell me that the only thing WORTHWHILE in this world was WINNING at any cost!!!! But there is absolutely NOTHING that's going to make it worthwhile for me to BETRAY Po's trust in me, and make me ABANDON what I know is right! As far as I can see it, the only FOOL around here, is YOU!!!!" General Barracuda seethes with LITERAL red face anger, and he says: "How DARE you talk to me THAT WAY?!!! Have you FORGOTTEN every single MOVE I ever TAUGHT YOU?!!! HAVE you forgotten EVERY SINGLE physical event I ever had you COMPETE in?! Have you FORGOTTEN how I first took you in when NOBODY ELSE would?!" Po asks: "What is he TALKING about, Tigress? The only reason YOU'VE done anything is to impress your dad!" Tigress sighs, and says: "I suspected this after YOU became the Dragon Warrior and beat Tai Lung, but...I never HAD the heart to open THIS until now." And Tigress hands Po an already opened letter, and Po reads out the letter and reads: "'To Whom It May Concern, we regret to inform you that your birth father, Randy Macho Tiger Savage has passed away. He was apparently so HURT that YOU didn't become the Dragon Warrior, that he died of a broken heart.' Tigress...I, didn't know." Tigress says: "My real parents didn't have the MEANS to take care of me! That's why they initially gave me to General Barracuda. General Barracuda made me believe that if I just worked hard enough, and wanted it BADLY enough, that one day, my REAL dad would come back for me, and I'd GET the happy life that I always wanted! But ALL that training, all that preparation, all the INSULTS, was it ALL for NOTHING?!!! I always thought if I NEVER opened that letter, that SOMEHOW it wouldn't be true! But...my father is DEAD; and EVERYTHING is WORSE now!" General Barracuda mockingly says: "Ah, boo-hoo-hoo! That cry, cry, cry, weeping sound is DISGUSTING! But that's what you ALWAYS did whenever I YELLED at you for not being GOOD enough! It's no WONDER you DIDN'T become the Dragon Warrior! Why did I ever THINK you had the chance to be the Dragon Warrior?! I thought that I was actually CAPABLE of making you AMOUNT to something! I THOUGHT YOU ACTUALLY HAD A FEW BRAINS!!!! 'GREAT FUTURE', Tigress! A MOTHER to some FOUR future panda/tiger hybrids! Nothing more than a SHELL of what a GREAT martial artist SHOULD be! 'CONGRATULATIONS', Tigress!" Po angrily says: "How DARE you talk to MY wife like that?! You have no RIGHT to do that! And how DARE you treat her as BADLY as you have! YOU'RE the reason Tigress got SO messed up and SO fixated on winning?! And you have the NERVE to insult her NOW, AFTER ALL the GREAT PROGRESS she's made over the YEARS?! While YOU; you've spent all your time FIXATED trying to beat someone YOU perceive as WEAK and USELESS, all because your FRAGILE little ego can't STAND the thought of someone LIKE him might ACTUALLY prove to be good or COMPETENT at something that YOU'RE not!" General Barracuda angrily says: "Like any of YOU are any better?! You're not better than me! You're all FLAWED like me! We're ALL DAMAGED!!!! That's what we are! And there's only ONE way to not be DAMAGED, and that's if you actually WIN!!!!" Squidward says: "You know, I thought that way MYSELF for a long time! I thought that if I just shut myself off from ANYONE who thought differently than me, or didn't behave like me, that one day; things would HAVE to go MY way because of MY genius and talent! But I've ALREADY tried doing that for some 42 LONG years; it DOESN'T work!" Kowalski says: "Skipper might have some crazy impulses, but HE has never turned his back on loving Marlene!" Private says: "Marlene has helped him become a better penguin, and his plans are better NOW than they were BEFORE he married her!" Kaput says: "I thought being a saboteur would be the best way to help me get through life, until I discovered that the only one I was TRULY sabotaging was myself!" Johnny Krill says: "I TRIED going evil once, since that's what Tigress' behavior towards ME indicated as to that's what I should do, but now I KNOW she only did that because that's what YOU conditioned her to do to others!" Haggis says: "I've been in THIS industry long enough to know that anger does NOTHING in helping you actually SOLVE your problems!" Monster says: "I've found out that only by being TRUE to yourself, and being NICE to others; helps you get what YOU want most out of life!" Snaptrap says: "Even your SON, Bubble Bass; was willing to help me even when I THOUGHT that I couldn't be helped! Now, I finally realize that living with irrational anger and hatred, is no way to go through life! It JUST makes you miserable!" Darwin says: "Even if you actually MANAGED to get your revenge, than what? What would you do than? Do you honestly think that GETTING your revenge would FILL the bottomless void in your heart that you, YOURSELF created? I highly DOUBT that!" Heffer says: "That would be like ME trying to fill the void in my life by EATING! The difference is, I've had TIME to realize MY mistakes, admit them, and do something to fix them! I don't WANT to be a leech to my adopted wolf parents all my life! I...want to be a Camp Master instead!" Bulma weirdly asks: "Camp Master? That's a NEW one!" Judy Funny says: "It's fine if you want to ACT like you HAVE a good reason for being angry! But being angry just because you THINK you can, is no way to go through life, General Barracuda!" Sway-Sway says: "I can speak from PERSONAL experience! I got angry, all because I was jealous that Buhdeuce learned how to fly! I should've been happy that he learned how to achieve something great on his own, as his BEST friend!" Invader Zim says: "Trying to do something just because you THINK someone else wants you to, is NOT going to make you happy, General Barracuda! Doing something because it's the RIGHT thing to do, is!" Gonard says: "Only by loving someone else in a kind, genuine, appropriate way is EVER going to make YOU feel happy about yourself, General Barracuda!" Blonda says: "I used to think that the only things that matter in this world, were my own beauty, talents, and ego. But now I know that the TRUE way to live a happy life, is to share it with someone who loves you DESPITE your flaws, because they KNOW that you're willing to improve yourself in SPITE of the flaws that you have!" Squidward says: "I've learned that if you go around, irrationally hating someone else just BECAUSE you can; you will ultimately do it alone, and I mean ALONE!!!!" Tigress says: "I almost made the WORST mistake of my LIFE by trying to think like you, by trying to impress you! I now know that I should NEVER try to impress someone who was NEVER going to be impressed, no matter HOW successful I was!" Otto Rocket says: "I might enjoy winning, but even I've learned that winning means NOTHING if you don't HAVE any actual friends that you can hang out with!" Dog says: "Even if you don't ALWAYS succeed in winning, as long as you DO your best and BE your best around others; than your life will STILL be worthwhile!" Zarbon says: "Beauty may easily leave you, but regrets are much harder to do so. Don't be filled with hate and regret; it will NEVER give you what you are seeking!" Super Chum says: "Only by doing things that HELP other people, and doing your best to make the world a better place, will you EVER feel happy with who you ARE, General Barracuda!" Kitty says: "You can't automatically think the WORST of others! If you ALWAYS do that, you'll wind up with NO friends, and no one who WILL trust you! You can't spend YOUR life always thinking like that!" Jenny says: "You can be as smart as you WANT to be, you can even be as TOUGH as you want to be! But those qualities are practically MEANINGLESS without humility and acceptance! I wasn't programmed with those things, but even I have learned just how important those qualities ARE!" Treeflower says: "The biggest reason I lost was BECAUSE I was so fixated on making someone else LOSE just to stroke MY own ego, I completely missed out on the ability to actually have FUN this season! If I COULD do it all over again, I would NEVER have put MY ego over the ability to have had friends and lasting relationships!" Gerald says: "You can live life, always being paranoid about everything. But if you do, you're going to miss out on ALL that life has to offer you!" Fee says: "I thought I could get by through life without HAVING to learn anything important! But now I know that if you don't learn the truth, however HARD it might be to accept; about everything that you can, you're only hurting yourself in the long run!" Harvey says: "And if on the off chance you DO get angry at someone, you should APOLOGIZE when you realize that they might have honestly NOT known any better! Because people don't always know when they've done something wrong! You have to be KIND and forgiving if you WANT them to learn from their mistakes!" Daggett says: "I made many of MY mistakes because I was so stubborn on NOT listening! But I've learned than when you're NOT listening; you'll just wind up making the SAME meaningless mistakes over and over again!" Pearl says: "If you HELP other people out, you'll end up helping YOURSELF out; because you're not just making someone else's life better, you're making your OWN life better by being altruistic!" Bulma says: "I've spent most of MY life walking around, thinking I was SMARTER than everyone else; but now that I'm (mutters her age under her breath), I now know that it is NOT a good idea to do that! Because if you ACT like you're smarter than everyone else, even IF you actually are, you're just setting yourself up to be BLINDSIDED when people turn out to BE smarter than you THINK they are!" Keswick says: "It's not always easy, but you CAN overcome your own flaws! Maybe it MIGHT be hard work, but the pay-off is ALWAYS worth it in the end!" Taotie says: "In the end, anger will end up making your OWN life more miserable than anybody elses! I don't want to see anyone making the same senseless mistake I made by being senselessly angry!" Stimpy says: "Even if you CAN'T forget and SHOULDN'T, you should ALWAYS be willing to forgive!" Sandy says: "I learned that you CAN'T underestimate the abilities of other people! Even if they can't and don't WANT to do the same things you do, they have other ways of being great all on their OWN!" Larry says: "It's FINE to have a strong body, but you should also have a kind mind and a good heart, if you want others to like you in a good way!" Wally says: "Even if the people you love can't always BE around with you; love is important to have because it's the greatest meaning in life to love someone else who loves you back in a good, healthy way." Chameleon says: "I can change into anybody, but I wouldn't WANT to change into something I'm not; and I would never WANT to change into an irrationally angry being ever again!" Bubble Bass says: "I've been in some episodes of 'Spongebob Squarepants' where I've done things that I'm not proud of; but I've NEVER acted out of sheer malevolence, and did things just for the sake of doing them. Often, I did it as an opportunity for Spongebob to grow and develop as a character." Po says: "I may have become the Dragon Warrior, but even I don't always need to WIN! If someone has a need more noble than yours, you should always tray and help them out in their goals!" Dudley says: "Even if you MAKE a mistake, it's not a waste of time if you can LEARN from it, and become better DOING the things you LIKE to do!" Buhdeuce says: "Only by experiencing something, can you learn how to do something, and eventually become good at doing it!" Yakkity says: "When all is said and done, I do things because I LOVE; my mom and grandma among many others, and I know that they will love me back as long as I try my best!" Spongebob says: "We're all on the same page on this subject, General Barracuda. We ALL want to have this world be a better place than when we found it!" Marlene says: "And we PLAN on doing it, either WITH or WITHOUT you!" Bubble Bass says: "And if the future version of my son were here, I'm SURE he'd feel the same way! So do you WANT to be part of the positive change, or not?!" General Barracuda ruminates, as if honestly THINKING about the whole situation, and he says: "That is utterly...SICKENING!!!! You ALL sound like pages from some kind of stupid self-help book! If I WANTED to read a Self-Help book, I'd read a piece of complete and UTTER fiction like THE--!" Sniz says: "Be careful with your NEXT word! Just because YOU think it's fiction, that doesn't mean other people will think so! People have DIED fighting for what they believed in, EVEN if that belief was actually wrong!" General Barracuda angrily says: "BARNACLES!!!! Now I forgot what I was GOING to say next! But it's ALL irrelevant! Spongebob would NEVER be able to fight his way through the Olmec altered Castle of Cadbury in order to FIND the Holy Grail, especially when he has to get past ME, and The Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh! And PLEASE don't MAKE the subtitle people have to subtitle THAT one again, they had a hard enough job subtitling all of YOUR dialogue!" Marlene says: "Luckily for me, Skipper actually THOUGHT ahead for once, and prepared me with a little device for just SUCH an occasion!" Marlene pulls out a very familiar object, hands it to Spongebob, than she gives a piece of paper to Yakkity, and Marlene says: "Read it, and WEEP; General Barracuda!" And Yakkity reads aloud: "'And thus Skipper spake'--whatever 'Spake' means--'saying; First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Than shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, except that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, than lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch'--Antioch, California MAKES Holy Hand Grenades?!!!--'towards thy foe, who, being naughty in MY sight, shall snuff it'." Marlene says: "You heard it, Spongebob! Pull out the pin, and count to three!" Spongebob pulls out the pin, and says: "One, two, FIVE!" Yakkity says: "NO; than THREE!!!!" Spongebob says: "THREE!!!!" And Spongebob THROWS the Holy Hand Grenade, and not ONLY does he blow up The Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh!, it causes the GUEST animators who were ANIMATING them, who ALL happened to be unapologetic JERKWADS who worked for "Teen Titans Go!", to suddenly (but not at all unexpectedly), suddenly and IRREVERSIBLY die from heart attacks! Marlene turns to Spongebob and says: "Spongebob, WHY did you say, 'Five'?!" Spongebob says: "Well, it's very hard to NOT think something when someone tells you NOT to think it; that's like ASKING to HAVE someone think of it!" Bubble Bass says: "That's...actually a pretty logical reason why he THOUGHT that!" General Barracuda says: "Be that as it may, Holy Hand Grenades are VERY rare and expensive; and you won't be ABLE to get the Holy Grail--." Buhdeuce asks: "The Holy Grail?!" General Barracuda sputters, and he says: "Haven't I MENTIONED that's what THIS Legend is ALL about?!" Sniz honestly says: "Uh, no. Everyone was kind of BUSY trying to HELP you, and you rebuked them NEEDLESSLY!" General Barracuda says: "Well, this IS The Legend of The Holy Grail! Thought that I should SAY what the Legend was at least ONCE! And you won't be able to FIND The Holy Grail, or get past ME, unless you answer my questions THREE!" Bubble Bass rolls his eyes, as though he CAN'T actually BELIEVE that General Barracuda actually THINKS he will succeed, but decides to roll with it anyways! Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "Very well, than. Give it your best shot!" General Barracuda says: "Immediate family, first! What is your name?" Bubble Bass says: "Horratio Barracuda the Second, AKA Bubble Bass." General Barracuda asks: "What is your quest?" Bubble Bass says: "To seek the Holy Grail." General Barracuda asks: "What is your favorite color?" Bubble Bass says: "Green!" General Barracuda says: "Than you may pass!" And Bubble Bass goes into Cadbury Castle. General Barracuda turns to Sandy, and asks: "What is your name?" Sandy says: "Sandy Cheeks Squarepants!" General Barracuda asks: "What is your quest?" Sandy says: "To seek the Holy Grail." General Barracuda asks: "WHY did Warner Bros. waste TEN years of EVERYONE'S time INCLUDING their own trying to promote 'Teen Titans Go!'?!" Sandy honestly says: "I don't KNOW--(SPROING!!!!)--THAT!!!!" And Sandy Cheeks is flung far away!!!! General Barracuda turns to Bulma, and he asks: "What is your name?" Bulma says: "Legally, Bulma Briefs!" General Barracuda asks: "What is your quest?" Bulma says: "To seek the Holy Grail." General Barracuda asks: "What is your favorite color?" And without even THINKING, Bulma just says: "Green! No! (SPROING!!!!) BLUE!!!!" And Bulma is flung far away!!!! General Barracuda honestly says: "Wow, I thought SHE would have really GOTTEN that one!" Than General Barracuda turns to Marlene, Spongebob, and Yakkity, and General Barracuda asks: "What are your names?" Marlene says: "Marlene!" Spongebob says: "Spongebob Squarepants!" Yakkity says: "Yakkity Yak!" General Barracuda asks: "What is your quest?" And Spongebob, Marlene, and Yakkity all simultaneously answer: "To seek the Holy Grail!" Than General Barracuda gets a DEVIOUS grin like Chuck Jones' version of "The Grinch," and he maliciously asks: "What is the weight of the average swallow?!" And Spongebob immediately asks: "Is that an African Swallow, or a European Swallow?!" And General Barracuda is STUMPED as he's NOT sure which one Spongebob WOULDN'T know, so he says: "Well, I don't--(SPROING!!!!)--KNOW!!!!" And General Barracuda is flung far away! Blonda chuckles, and she says: "I took a little magical precaution, and rigged it so that even General Barracuda would be flung away if he couldn't answer correctly!" Bubble Bass comes back, and he gives Blonda a BIG hug, and he says: "Blonda, I am SO glad I married you! Don't EVER lose that spunk!" Blonda shrugs, and she says: "Eh, it's a fair cop." Spongebob says: "So General Barracuda is gone for good?" Sniz says: "As far as THIS season is concerned he is! But, Johnny Krill has expressed NO interest in taking HIS place for next season, so we'll just get General Barracuda some Anger Management and set up some kind of SHOCK system on him if he EVER pulls any stunts like that in any FUTURE seasons of this show!" Marlene says: "Well, that's good to know!" Sniz says: "Well, we've exhausted ALL the time we COULD'VE spent crossing a moat OR going down the Steps of Knowledge, so we'll just skip STRAIGHT to the Temple Challenge, which is also the Final Challenge! Who can FIGHT their way and claim the Holy Grail?!" Tigress says: "Well, I obviously COULD have GIVEN it a shot...not for General Barracuda's sake, but because I felt like it!" Zarbon says: "Well, no SANE person is going to argue the capabilities of YOUR strength; not after what YOU displayed this season, anyways!" Sniz says: "Well, unfortunately; we've had to spend an unexpected LOT of money for this season, even by OUR standards; so I'm afraid the only FINAL challenge we could afford was getting past a bunch of Sea Bunnies, like the ones Spongebob is familiar with." Yakkity is ABOUT to say something, but Marlene QUICKLY moves her hand in front of his mouth, and she says: "WAIT for the CATCH to come!" Sniz says: "Who's homes have all been infested by NEMATOADS! So, needless to say; they are all LITERALLY, Hopping Mad!" And true enough, all the Sea Bunnies stop hopping around all agitated and crazy! Fee screams: "AHHH!!!! I always KNEW my FATE would be determined by a crazy, killer rabbit; just like that CRAZY Gypsy said! I always THOUGHT she meant DADE, though!" And everyone LOOKS at Blonda, as if expecting HER to do something! Blonda says: "Don't look at ME; I exhausted all of MY magic for today, poofing up Tigress' restraints AND rigging General Barracuda to be launched away!" Kitty Katswell says: "Oh, I'd accept help from ANYTHING right now!" And an unexpected, squeaky voice suddenly says: "Did somebody say ANYTHING?!!!" And a familiar, jaunty tune comes by in a black and white steamboat, as coconuts are LAUNCHED at the Sea Bunnies, and "Steamboat Willy" Mickey Mouse is whistling his familiar tune! Bubble Bass turns to Blonda, and he says: "I thought you said you DIDN'T have anymore magic for today!" Blonda says: "That's an even HIGHER power! Copyright protection expiration! Thank you, Sonny Bono!" And all of the Sea Bunnies are conked out with coconuts! Spongebob says: "Thanks for the help, 'Steamboat Willy' Mickey Mouse!" "Steamboat Willy" Mickey Mouse says: "No problem, everybody gets ONE; and thank you for using me in a RESPECTFUL matter unlike SOME people!" And "Steamboat Willy" Mickey Mouse sails away! Yakkity turns to Spongebob, and he says: "Well, I guess it's finally time to determine..." Than he looks around, and he asks: "Hey! Where did MARLENE go?!!!" And from inside the Castle , Marlene shouts: "I've got it! I've got the Holy Grail! I've actually GOT the Holy Grail!" Bubble Bass says: "Run for the entrance, Marlene! Run straight for it, and don't stop til you get here!" And to the musical tune of "I've Got A Golden Ticket", Marlene successfully runs to the castle, holding the Holy Grail in her hands, and she says: "I've got it! The Final Legend of this season, the Holy Grail is MINE!!!!" Wally sputters, and he says: "WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's NOT the way that either the second 'Monty Python' film OR the third 'Indiana Jones' film ended!" Marlene says: "So? You want to tell a story your OWN way, go make your OWN series! And SPOILER ALERT, it's a LOT harder than it looks!" Yakkity shrugs and says: "Eh, I'll settle for third place! You've had a LOT more character development THIS season than I have, Spongebob! You deserve Second Place more than I do!" Spongebob blushes and he says: "Thank you! But truth be told, I couldn't have had most of my character development without all the other contestants on this season; EVEN Aang, Dora, and Future Rube, wherever they are!" Johnny Krill asks: "So, what happens now; Sniz?" Sniz says: "Well, we've exhausted all the Legends that WE wanted to do for this season! Luckily for us, I've already got the NEXT season already lined up! We're going to NEVADA, to a city called Paradise; where anything and EVERYTHING under the sun might and possibly WILL happen, and eliminations may all be determined by LUCK, not just skill! We haven't figured out who will compete in it yet, but it will be interesting!" Marlene asks: "As interesting as ME actually WINNING this half of season 4?" Sniz honestly says: "Well, it will be interesting in its OWN way! Well, this season might not have COMPLETELY gone the way I thought it would; but it sure WAS an intersting ride! Good-bye for now, and Fondue, General Barracuda, and I will see you NEXT season on 'Total Cartoon Paradise City'!" Olmec says: "And thank you for ALL the Legends!" / Stinger: General Barracuda has found a floating Mine Cart in the ocean, the SAME Mine Cart used by Aang and Snaptrap earlier this season, and he's floating on the ocean; thinking about all the time he wasted on irrationally hanging Spongebob, and whether it was worth the time he spent instead of trying to get to know his son or his grandson better, all while The Eagles' hit song, "Wasted Time" plays in the background. Don Henley sings: "Well, baby, there you stand; with your little head down in your hand. Oh, my God, you can't believe it's happening again. Your baby's gone, and you're all alone and it looks like the end. And you're back out on the street. And you're tryin' to remember. How do you start it over? You don't know if you can. You don't care much for a stranger's touch, but you can't hold your man. You never thought you'd be alone this far down the line. And I know what's been on your mind; you're afraid it's all been wasted time. The autumn leaves have got you thinking about the first time that you fell. You didn't love the boy too much, no, no; you just loved the boy too well; well, well. So you live from day to day, and you dream about tomorrow. And the hours go by like minutes, and the shadows come to stay. So you take a little something to make them go away. I could have done so many things, baby. If I could only stop my mind. From wonderin' what I left behind. And from worrying 'bout this wasted time! (Musical Break) Another love has come and gone, and the years keep rushing on. I remember what you told me before you went out on your own, 'Sometimes to keep it together, we got to leave it alone.' So you can get on with your search, baby; and I can get on with mine. And maybe someday we will find, that it wasn't really wasted time!" (Musical Finish) / Episode Notes: Season Finale of "Total Cartoon Legends", Marlene wins first place, with Yakkity settling for third, and letting Spongebob have second place. "Steamboat Willy" Mickey Mouse makes a cameo appearance in this episode, due to his copyright protection FINALLY expiring! Featured songs in this episode are Lenny Kravitz's "Are You Gonna Go My Way", and The Eagles "Wasted Time". The episode makes several references to "Monty Python And The Holy Grail". / Eliminated Contestants: 46. Kowalski. 45. Private. 44. Kaput. 43. Johnny Krill. 42. Haggis McHaggis. 41. Monster Krumholtz. 40. Aang. 39. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 38. Darwin. 37. Heffer Wolfe. 36. Judy Funny. 35. Sway-Sway. 34. Invader Zim. 33. Gonard. 32. Blonda. 31. Squidward Tentacles. 30. Dora the Explorer. 29. Tigress. 28. Otto Rocket. 27. Dog. 26. Zarbon. 25. Super Chum. 24. Kitty Katswell. 23. Jenny Wakeman. 22. Treeflower Fields. 21. Gerald. 20. Fee. 19. Harvey Beaks. 18. Daggett Beaver. 17. Pearl Krabs Barracuda. 16. Bulma Briefs. 15. Keswick. 14. Taotie. 13. Stimpy J. Cat. 12. Sandy Cheeks. 11. Larry The Lobster. 10. Wally. 9. Future Adult Rube Goldfish. 8. Chameleon. 7. Bubble Bass. 6. Po. 5. Dudley Puppy. 4. Buhdeuce. 3. Yakkity Yak. 2. Spongebob Squarepants. 1. WINNER: Marlene Otter! / Personal Notes: Honestly, I should have known right from the start that I was "Tempting Fate" LAST season, by making the Alternate Ending of Season 4A where Private wins, than DECLARING that there would never BE another season where a contestant from "The Penguins Of Madagascar" would ever WIN another season of the "Total Cartoon" series. But in MY defense, I had 45 OTHER contestants vying to be the winner this season, and I HONESTLY thought that I'd be able to find ANOTHER female contestant who would prove to be a compelling winner! Eventually though, I decided to let Marlene have the win; mostly because unlike Yakkity and Spongebob, she didn't GO through as much Character Development as they did this season; and the only way to really JUSTIFY her being in this season, was so she eventually GOT the win, and all on her own terms! That's why I decided to end this season the way I did! I'm not sure when I'll start the next season, but this will be the place WHERE I will start it! Enough said, true believers!

For the Nintendo 3DS, I got "The Legend Of Zelda: Tri-Force Heroes" which I have never played before; I got a $20 Nintendo Switch Card, which I used to FINALLY download "Undertale" onto my Nintendo Switch; I got a bunch of CD's including Jefferson Starship's 1979 "Freedom At Point Zero", Jefferson Starship's 1982 "Winds Of Change", Judas Priest's 1982 "Screaming For Vengeance" (including two bonus tracks), Weird Al Yankovic's 2011 "Alpocalypse" (with a bonus DVD), Ringo Starr's 2023 EP "Rewind Forward", Rolling Stones' 2023 "Hackney Diamonds", and Dolly Parton's 2023 "Rock Star"; I got some chocolate treats (that I've already eaten); two winning lotto scratch tickets that both gave me $4 (which I've already spent); two movie tickets to my local movie theater (which I've already used one to see "Wonka", this time with my girlfriend); a Crossword Puzzle book; and on its way, "Super Mario Bros. Wonder" for the Nintendo Switch. So all in all, I'd say I did pretty well for myself this year!

...this just MIGHT make for the LAZIEST sledder I have EVER seen!

I'll build a Snow Mr. Krabs.

I chose other because I like to get both video games and music, and I couldn't just pick both.

Concept: Songs That I'm PRETTY sure I've never contributed to a mix-tape before, but still really enjoy all the same! / 1. The Beatles "Something" 2. James Taylor "Fire And Rain" 3. Cat Stevens "Wild World" 4. The Jackson Five "Never Can Say Goodbye" 5. Heart "Straight On" 6. Lynryd Skynyrd "Free Bird"

I haven't built a Snow Bubble Bass yet, so I'll build that.

Behold, what is most likely the single MOST skilled dog sledder in the world!

Another week, another...NICKEL!!!! I ALWAYS wanted to say that!...ANYWAYS, on Friday, I saw the prequel movie "Wonka", and I think I can safely say...Warner Bros. is FINALLY getting the message and idea on how to NOT suck so much! The movie was GOOD, it was REALLY good! Not only that, I felt that it was good AS "Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory"! (Now if only we could make it so the "Tom And Jerry" version of it DOESN'T exist...that would be great!) There was some nice-call forwards to that movie (I won't tell you WHAT they are, you'll have to see it for yourself!) And with the exception of two songs (and even THOSE two songs used mostly NEW lyrics), every single song in this movie is a brand new song! Everyone did a good acting job in this movie, and I REALLY hope this movie wins an Oscar or two, if ONLY to make up for the fact that "Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory" didn't win any! Enough said, true believers!

I'll try building a Snow Sandy this time.