Total Cartoon Paradise City!

[4EverGreen]

It's time for the second part of my latest "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" episode, "Caribbean Queens are Wild!" / After the commercials finish airing, the plane is back on route to its proper destination. Minus Treeflower, but still in First Class, Team Retro continues to enjoy their luxury items from home. Reggie asks: "Suzie, what did you get from home?" Suzie shows off a singing/ recording device and sings: "I got a SINGING/RECORDING Karaoke device from home! Now I can SING whatever I feel like!" Reggie says: "Well, maybe you ought to save that for when we ACTUALLY have to sing!" Suzie says: "Okay. What did you get?" Reggie says: "My prized surfboard that won me the 2005 International Surfing Championships, division eight!" Reggie holds up an undersized surfboard, and Suzie says: "It's a little small." Reggie says: "Well, I WAS only eight when I won it! That's why I said Division Eight! It reminds me of where I've been, and a good reminder from what I want to achieve. I always want to do my best, so I often look to that for inspiration!" Suzie says: "That's cool!" Rocko says: "I got something extra-special from home, to help us out!" Reggie asks: "Is it what I think it IS?!!!" Rocko chuckles and says: "You KNOW it is! I'll show you later!" Reggie chuckles and says: "I'll be waiting!" Sanjay says: "I got my lucky Remington Tuff-lips T-shirt, limited gold 2015 edition!" Robot asks: "How did you win that?!" Sanjay says: "By being Remington Tuff-lips' number one fan, of course!" Craig says: "I got my trusty skateboard!" Robot asks: "How is that useful to you? I mean, you don't have legs." And Craig shows off a lot of neat skateboard tricks, and Craig asks: "Who needs legs?" Sanjay says: "That's Craig for you! Always thinking up of ways to do things, even WITHOUT the benefit of any arms and legs!" (Confessional)

Suzie says: "I love recording a lot of music. I'll probably record enough at least for a demo tape before this season ends!" / Reggie says: "A surfer is only as good as her boards! And me? I ride only the best! Therefore, I always perform to the best of my abilities, to do my surfboard justice!" / Rocko says: "In matters of love, you only want the best for your soulmate! My luxury item is not easy to come by, but it's worth it for my Reggie!" / Robot says: "It's official! I think Craig might be the most talented snake I know! I mean, I haven't actually MET a lot of snakes before! But still...something to keep in mind!" (End Confessional) Norbert says: "I got a special D.V.D. from home. It's from my dad, on it, he has written on the case, that it's an important message that Daggett and I should both see!" Daggett says: "Probably some advice on how to handle Treeflower, not that you need it, being so SMOOTH as you are--AHHH!!!! I didn't mean that! What is WRONG with me?!" (Confessional) Daggett face-palms himself and says: "Stupid, stupid, STUPID! Get those FILTHY thoughts out of my head, Daggett! You've been raised so much better! It's insane! Whatever I feel, I can't! It's that simple!" / Norbert sighs and says: "Look, I know Daggett loves me. It sounds odd, since because I tend to over-achieve in everything I do, you'd think he'd be bitter and jealous of my success! But our bond is deep! Maybe we SHOULD play the D.V.D. I have a feeling Daggett needs it more than I do. Of course, I'm also curious to know what's on it, but that's besides the point!" (End Confessional)

Norbert says: "I need a D.V.D. player and a screen! Does anybody have a D.V.D. player and a screen?!" Robot raises his hand and says: "I'm D.V.D. and screen compatible. If there's somewhere dark, my eyes can show you what you want to see!" Norbert looks around, and doesn't see Sniz, Fondue, or General Barracuda around. Norbert says: "Let's go in the V.I.P. Lounge Room, it will be dark, there." Robot says: "Wow! I get to see the sacred sanctum!" Norbert opens the door that he has free access to, and he lets Daggett and Robot in. Norbert holds the disc to Robot's mouth, and feeds him the disc! Norbert says: "Okay Robot, show us the message!" Robot says: "Playing!" And his eyes beam out a screen projection. And a camera shows 5, 4, 3, 2, and then cuts to Leonard Beaver, the father of the Beavers! Leonard says: "Norbert, Daggett, I'm very proud of the way you've chosen to live your life's your own way. You've taken charge of yourself, you've grown very wise, and have matured in ways that I am proud of. That being said, I have noticed...some concerns, as far as Daggett is concerned. This is not a criticism. In fact, I need to tell you something I should've told you long ago. Norbert Foster Beaver, Daggett Doofus Beaver, is NOT your biological brother!!!!" Norbert shouts: "GASP!!!! Say WHAT?!!!!!! You always told us that my brother is the person who grew up with me and LOVES me!" Daggett says: "You're arguing with a screen projection, that's really not good-looking for you!" Norbert says: "Sorry, this is a little much to take in!"

Leonard says: "I trust you've gotten the shock out of your systems. Norbert, your birth mother and I were very much in love. It was no surprise to us that she gave birth to two healthy baby boy beavers. You know that old home movie that you've seen of your birth? You know how confused you have been on seeing YOU being born, than seeing yourself again? You WERE the first born beaver from that litter, that IS you! But the other, I'm sure you've already met him, having complained so much about him; that snooty, snobby beaver who thinks he's more handsome and attractive than you, when he was being born, your birth mother, she...suffered a complication during your younger brother's birth! The strain of giving birth to him, your mother couldn't take it. She-- (cries) --forgive your old man, passed away giving birth to him! Even in that instance, despite being born second, your younger brother blamed YOU for her passing! He ran away and put himself up for adoption! Ironically, in the hospital that same day, born just a few seconds after you, was another beaver, named Daggett Doofus Beaver, no genetic relation. His birth mother was all alone, Daggett's birth father abandoned them. We saw each other, and after a few months of going out together, we decided to get hitched! We didn't want you to know you had ever BEEN without a mother, Norbert."

Norbert says: "Ignoring the fact that this is a rhetorical question to an already recorded message, why?!" Leonard says: "If you're asking why, I thought that if you knew that your birth mother died shortly after you were born, you might have thought it was your own fault. Trust me, it was NEVER your fault! Your birth mother loved you with all your heart! But, we legally changed our marriage date, Daggett's mother and I, to be changed to before you were born! That's why you're only hearing of this right now. So Daggett, the feelings you have for Norbert, aren't unnatural at all. You may not be brothers by birth, but you're definitely brothers in spirit! And if you two combine your talents, you can go far in life! You are both my boys! One by birth, one by marriage! Now go out and make me proud!" And the D.V.D. message ends as Robot ejects the disc! Daggett asks: "Norbert, do you still love me even though we're not biological brothers?" Norbert says: "That's a STUPID question! Of course I love you! I was just worried about you; because I had no idea you had such strong feelings about me! You still DO, don't you?!"

Daggett says: "Norbert, I've considered you to be attractive for as long as I can remember. But now, I don't feel so bad about it! Because loving you, has NEVER been wrong!" Norbert says: "They're are many different definitions of brothers, but I know which ones we are!" Daggett asks: "What's that?!" Norbert says: "Brothers...with benefits!" And Norbert says: "Treeflower, this is just an impulse!!!!" And Norbert quickly kisses Daggett again! Norbert says: "I...just needed to get that out of my system." Daggett says: "No worries, I needed that out of my system, to. But, perhaps we can bond some more, later?" Norbert says: "One condition, don't mention ANY of this to Treeflower! And if this footage EVER gets seen by her, whether or not it's because of you, I'll just pretend it was C.G.I'd!" Daggett says: "No argument there! I don't want to disappoint Bunny!" Norbert says: "And Robot, we can trust you to keep a lid on this, right?" Robot says: "Auto-delete feature coming up! Past ten minutes, erase!!!!" And Robot's eyes momentarily glaze over, and he comes out of it and asks: "WHOA!!!! How did I get into the V.I.P. Lounge room?" And as Robot walks out, Daggett looks at Norbert, and Daggett says: "Norbert, I think this is the beginning of a BEAUTIFUL friendship!" Norbert says: "Daggett, you couldn't be MORE right!" (Confessional)

Daggett sighs and says: "WHEW!!!! Glad to know that loving Norbert is not a crime against nature, we're not biologically related! That only makes it WEIRD, not BAD!!!! But still, this isn't an ideal situation for us. We already have lives planned! Especially Norbert! I want him to raise a happy family just as much as he does! I can't get in the way of that! Once this season is over, I will put this insane idea behind me, and be happy with my life with Bunny! Besides, Bunny actually ALLOWS me to be right on far more occasions than Norbert does! Norbert is fun, but I need something meaningful in my life! I consider this relationship to be part of our alliance to go far, and nothing else! I'm sure Norbert feels the same way!" / Norbert says: "Inspiring Daggett to do his best has always been a passion of mine! But I've always had to combat feelings of getting TOO cuddly with him! As the older brother, I have to set the example! Even though I'm not his brother by biological relation, I'm still a brother in spirit. As such, I refuse to let this be anything more than just a passing fancy! I'm loyal to Treeflower first, my team second...and I guess, Daggett would be a distant third. Don't...tell him I said that, okay?" (End Confessional)

Robot walks back out, and Globitha squeals: "EEEH!!!! I've got my trusty P.D.A.!!!! Now I can make all those online updates I've been wanting to make! First, update dating status to going steady. Significant other, Robot Default! Done! Isn't that great?! We are now officially Robotitha Dehotlz! I'm comfortable enough in my own identity to let YOU be the more significant other!" Robot says: "That's really significant of you, Globitha!" Globitha asks: "Robot, do you love me? I mean, truly love me?" Robot says: "I wasn't sure at first, but as time has gone on between us, I realize you're actually a cool girl! You know me, you care for me, and you love me in a way I've never GOTTEN from most of my family! And, just in case I did find my dream girl, I wanted something special to give to her. Or; should I say, YOU?" Robot kneels down, and opens up a box containing a beautiful diamond ring. Robot says: "It used to be my grandmother's, bless her fried, broken down circuits, but now I offer it to you. Globitha Krumholtz, will you take this ring and be my fiancee?" Globitha says: "Yes, yes, a thousand times YES!!!!" And Globitha lovingly kisses Robot! Globitha wears the ring and says: "This means SO much to me, because I know now, that you truly respect me!"

(Confessional) Robot asks: "Why should I be with Globitha? Two important reasons; I don't want to be the only LOSER guy in this competition without having someone to have my arms be wrapped around! Second, and far more importantly, I really HAVE grown to love her!" / Globitha happily says: "This is now OFFICIALLY the greatest day of my life! Technically, the greatest day of my life so far, but who's counting?!" (End Confessional) Daggett says: "I got my lucky pajamas from home!" Marlene asks: "You still sleep in THOSE two year old Pajamas that are out of fashion?!" Daggett says: "When it's a cold night, I do!" Spongebob says: "I've got an official Krabby Patty making kit! Now I can make Krabby Patties anytime I want! As long as I pay royalties to Mr. Krabs, of course!" Po says: "I got my brand new luxury Dragon Warrior pillow, it balances your zen alignment while you sleep!" Tigress says: "I got my lucky iron knuckles! To be used responsibly, only against the WORST evil offenders!" Marlene says: "I've got my supply of my special brand of Love Otter #9 lipstick! What did you get, Captain Retro?!" Captain Retro says: "Something really great! My special Golden Triforce Limited Edition Nintendo 3DS XL from Gamespot!!!! Do you know how LUCKY you have to be to GET one of these?!!!" Marlene coyly says: "Captain Retro, you ARE a sly dog! I didn't know you were keeping updated in the era of gaming!" Captain Retro says: "I do well for myself! Besides, I can play a lot of GOOD retro games on this thing! You'll have a hard time finding ANYONE who can beat ME in Super Smash Bros. 4 WITHOUT cheating!!!!" (Confessional)

Tigress says: "My secret weapon of last resort! It's so secret, I haven't even been ALLOWED to use it until now! Master Shifu knows all too well, that with great power comes great responsibility. And this type of tool didn't come by to me lightly! It is definitely NOT a toy!" / Po says: "You can't be a good warrior without a good night's sleep! And believe me, when it comes to sleeping, Tigress is surprisingly, almost as good at sleeping as I am!!!! WAIT!!!! Did I just SAY that humiliating secret out LOUD?!!! (Camera briefly cuts, Po tries to remove the D.V.D) I want the D.V.D. back! Give me the D.V.D! How do you open this thing?!" / Captain Retro says: "I don't think any company respects its past more than Nintendo! They always try to do what's best for their video game characters, and DON'T try to take them into any unnecessary directions! That's why they endure!" (End Confessional) The plane finally lands again, at the airport near Kingston, Jamaica! / Sniz says: "Your journey begins here! We've narrowed down the area where Greenbeard the Pirate lost his golden treasure chest! It's in the Caribbean Sea, and whoever finds it, gets to use the reward for any purpose they think is worthy!" Wally says: "I already know how I'd like to use the reward!" Zim rolls his eyes and says: "We know! Yay-Ok's important upgrades!" Wally says: "They are important! And I should know, I am now legally Admiral Wally, his smartness!" Dib sarcastically asks: "Are you going to say that EVERY time you introduce yourself?!" Wally says: "Only if I feel like it!"

Dib rolls his eyes and says: "Well in that case, I feel SO much better!" Sniz says: "You're going to find genuine pirate replica ships to take you to the 15 mile radius, that Greenbeard's pirate chest has been narrowed down to! Unlike the pirates, you'll have modern technology to help you dive down to the depths, and hopefully win the reward! Even though there's no elimination ceremony, I still want everyone to try their hardest, okay?!!! Time to get to the ships! But first, you have to walk though a cocktail party in order to get there!" Stanley looks at the big crowd and says: "We got to get through THAT?!!!" Sniz says: "They like music. They might let you through if you know a popular song to help you!" Captain Retro says: "Follow my lead, I can help us get through this!" Dog asks: "You have something in mind?!!!" Captain Retro says: "As a good Captain, I always try to!" /

Genre: 1980's Tropical Pop. Sub-Genre: The Beach Boys. Song: "Kokomo." Sung by: Team Retro (primarily), and cast! / Stimpy: "Aruba, Jamaica, oh I want to take ya." Sanjay: "Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama." Craig: "Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go? Jamaica." Captain Retro: "Off the Florida Keys, there's a place called Kokomo." Marlene: "That's where you want to go to get away from it all." Rocko: "Bodies in the sand, tropical drink melting in your hand." Reggie: "We'll be falling in love to the rhythm of a steel drum band." Norbert: "Down in Kokomo." Team Retro and cast: "Aruba, Jamaica, oh, I want to take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama! Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go..." Daggett: "Oh, I want to take you down to Kokomo, we'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow, that's where we want to go, way down in Kokomo." Robot: "Martinique, that Montserrat mystique." Globitha: "We'll go out to sea and we'll perfect our chemistry." Spongebob: "And by and by we'll defy a little bit of gravity." Norbert: "Afternoon delight, cocktails and moonlit nights." Rocko, about Reggie: "That dreamy look in your eye, under the tropical island sky, way down in Kokomo." Team Retro: "Aruba, Jamaica, oh I want to take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama! Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go..." Po: "Oh, I want to take you down to Kokomo, we'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow, that's where we want to go, way down in Kokomo." Tigress: "Port Au Prince, I want to catch a glimpse!" (Instrumental solo)

Team Retro: "Everybody knows a little place like Kokomo. Now if, you want to go and get away from it all, go down to Kokomo." Cast joins in: "Aruba, Jamaica, oh I want to take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama. Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go..." Stimpy: "Oh I want to take you down to Kokomo, we'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow, that's where we want to go, way down in Kokomo." Team Retro and cast: "Aruba, Jamaica, oh I want to take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama. Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go down to Kokomo, we'll get there fast, and then we'll take it slow, that's where we want to go, way down to Kokomo." / And as the epic song ends, as the three teams FINALLY get to their ships! Sniz says: "And finally, the three teams have gotten to their ships! Now, all they have to do is find the golden treasure! Can they do it?! Find out after these upcoming commercial announcements!" / (Commercial Break) I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

[4EverGreen]

It's time for the third and final part of my latest "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" episode, "Caribbean Queens Are Wild!" / After the commercials end, the three teams over-look their pirate replica ships, with some notable modern technology in it! Reggie says: "Deep sea diving suits! We can dive pretty deep in one of these things!" Rocko says: "We should be able to help Wally find Greenbeard's treasure chest pretty quickly in that case!" Spongebob says: "I don't need a deep sea diving suit! I'm a sponge! I'm a SKIN diver!" Tigress rolls her eyes and asks: "Why does THAT not surprise me?!" Po says: "Tigress, be nice! You said you would be nice to the other team-mates!" Tigress asks: "But why do we even HAVE Spongebob HERE?!!! He is hands DOWN the most USELESS contestant on the face of this game!!!!" And Spongebob GASPS when he hears this comment, and runs to the Confessional! Stimpy says: "Tigress, I think he heard you!" Tigress asks: "So? Let him HEAR me! It's not like HE can do anything about it! Come ON!!!! I just SAID what everybody is thinking! He's OBVIOUSLY going to be the next boot off of our team ANYWAYS, might as well get the shock over with now, instead of waiting for later!" (Confessional)

Spongebob angrily says: "I cannot BELIEVE Tigress HONESTLY thinks that I am hands down the most USELESS contestant on the face of this GAME!!!! In those EXACT words!!!! If I wasn't such a NICE guy, I'd transform into my super muscular from and teach her a lesson! But I've got a much better idea in mind, I'll PROVE that I'm useful to the team! Wait until she sees ME find the Golden Treasure Chest all by myself!!" / Tigress says: "There is no one weaker, more inconsequential, or more forgettable than Spongebob! There is not one significant thing he's done around here to help out the status of our team! I don't even KNOW why everyone else is still BOTHERING to keep up the charade that we're going to keep him around! Spongebob is USELESS! And if he's useless, he has no place in this game!" / Po shakes his head and says: "TIGRESS; how many times does Master Shifu have to tell you; watch what you SAY around other PEOPLE and things?! I mean, I'm pretty sure at least HALF of the time a new villain comes up that WE have to fight, it's because of something STUPID Tigress said?! Spongebob is not villain material, but Tigress is going to be in for a world of crushing, ironic disappointment if she doesn't watch it more carefully!" / Stimpy says: "I said it before and I'll say it again, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!"

(End Confessional) Captain Retro goes up to Team Adversity and says: "Guys, our team would like to help you win the reward." Dib asks: "What's in it for you?" Captain Retro says: "The reward of having done a good deed for someone who deserves it. We want to show you that Team Retro can be quite generous. That's why we're willing to help you win the reward!" Zim says: "I don't know why WE should believe you! I mean, it's one of your ANCESTOR'S treasure chests! You obviously want it for yourself!" Captain Retro says: "This may come as a surprise to you, but not EVERYONE you meet wants to stab you in the back! I am a Captain of my word! We'll let you get the treasure chest, as long as it's given to Wally!" Wally asks: "Me? Why do you want ME to have it?!" Captain Retro says: "Because you've got a promise to keep, to someone you care about. I think it's high time Yay-Ok finally got the upgrades he deserves! Don't you?" Wally happily says: "Of course I do! I can't believe that you respect me!" And Wally hugs Captain Retro! Captain Retro says: "It's high time you got some respect, Admiral Wally!"

Admiral Wally salutes and says: "We won't let you down, Captain!" (Confessional) Wally says: "Captain Retro wants to help me out! Nobody's ever gone out of their way to help out a Rocket Monkey! Most people just see us as a big fat joke, with no redeeming qualities to us! But Captain Retro? He sees that I'm nice! He sees that I try! He knows that there's more to me than just a peace-loving monkey! And Yay-Ok? I wouldn't be able to call myself his friend unless I did something good for him! Yay-Ok, you're FINALLY going to get the upgrades you've been desiring!" / Captain Retro says: "One of the reasons why Zim isn't more successful in doing any of the things he tries to do, is that he is so QUICK to dis-trust others! You can't always go through life doubting everything, and not trusting anybody! Zim needs to learn how to trust in others, or he will NEVER be truly happy!" (End Confessional) Captain Retro goes back to Team Retro, and Marlene asks: "Did you tell them about our plan?" Captain Retro says: "Of course! And Wally looked so happy to see somebody finally respect him!" Suzie says: "This is definitely a good move for us, karma-wise. If we're lucky, we might score Wally as a member of our team in the future!"

Robot says: "Well, let's cross that bridge when we come to it. Or in this case, cross the Caribbean Sea!" Sniz says: "Remember, only the team that finds the Golden Treasure Chest FIRST, and brings it BACK up to the surface, will get to keep it! The time has come to finish today's challenge! On your marks, get set..." And General Barracuda fires a LOUD cannon shot! And Sniz shouts: "Go!!!!" And the three teams set off to the rough location of Greenbeard's treasure chest! Norbert says: "Remember, we can't let Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool reach the treasure chest first, we've got to delay them!" Daggett says: "I can take care of that! With my wood chewing skills, I can put a dent in their sailing abilities! It's time for me to step up and prove myself to the team!" Tigress says: "See Po? Even DAGGETT knows how to take initiative, which actually impresses me, to be quite honest!!!!" And this makes Spongebob steaming mad!!!! (Confessional)

Daggett says: "I've been looking for a good opportunity to set myself apart from Norbert. And now, I can finally do it! This is something I get to do, all on my own! And that means a lot to me! I'll have something that's all MINE for once! And even weirder, Norbert is actually going for it! This is the most independent I have EVER felt in my whole life!" / Spongebob angrily says: "Okay, that is IT, Tigress!!!! Let's see how far you GET without my help!!!!" (End Confessional) And Spongebob transforms into his big, muscular form again, and begins to violently rock Team Retro's boat back and forth! Tigress asks: "Spongebob, what are you doing?! GASP!!!! And WHERE did you get those HUGE muscles?!!!" Spongebob angrily says: "Well, somebody thinks I'm WEAK and USELESS!!!! STILL think I'm WEAK and USELESS now?!!!!" Stimpy says: "Spongebob, STOP this! We're trying to help Team Adversity WIN!!!!" Spongebob angrily shouts: "I will NOT stop until Tigress APOLOGIZES to me!!!!" Tigress scoffs and says: "Yeah right! Tigress will do NO such thing!!!! Apologizing is for the WEAK, and WRONG!!!! Two things that I most certainly am NOT!!!!" Po asks: "You really want to do this, right NOW?!!!"

Tigress says: "Spongebob can't beat me anyways, no matter HOW strong he gets! I would LOVE to try to see him bring it on!" Spongebob angrily says: "Who said I was interested in fighting YOU?!!! I'm interested in proving a POINT!!!! And I'm going to KEEP rocking the boat until you apologize!!!!" And while everybody else loses their balance, Tigress doesn't move a muscle, refusing to even BUDGE a single inch!!!! Reggie says: "Tigress, cut it out!!!!" Tigress says: "Not until Spongebob stops being an immature, little brat!!!!" Spongebob reaches into the ocean, soaks up some water, and he asks: "Would an immature brat do THIS?!!!" And Spongebob SPRAYS Tigress in the face, but she STILL doesn't move!!!! Rocko says: "Tigress, just APOLOGIZE to Spongebob already!!!!" Tigress says: "Tigress NEVER apologizes!!!! PO might need to apologize, Master CRANE might need to apologize, Master MONKEY might need to apologize, even Master VIPER might need to apologize; TIGRESS' do NOT apologize!!!!" Norbert asks: "Daggett, will you hold Spongebob down?!" Daggett looks over and says: "Sorry, got to delay Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool!!!!" And Daggett jumps over to THEIR ship!!!!

Taotie looks over at Team Retro, and is LAUGHING at Tigress' expense!!!! Taotie says: "Look at the trouble Tigress is facing now! I always KNEW her stubborn attitude would get her one day! She'll NEVER apologize to that Spongebrat! NEVER!!!!" Kaput chuckles deviously and says: "Perhaps we should take advantage of their disintegrating situation!" Taotie looks over and derisively shouts: "Hey, LOSERS!!!! I was going to think up of some EVIL way to sabotage you, but it looks like you're doing it YOURSELVES!!!! Why don't you just quit NOW and save yourself the humiliation of outright LOSING to us?!!!" Globitha angrily says: "You stay OUT of this, you PIG! This doesn't concern you!!!!" Kaput shouts: "On the contrary, it DOES concern us! This is more fun than a fire-works SHOW!!!! Spongebob, Rock the BOAT!!!!" Marlene says: "Please Spongebob, don't rock the boat!" Spongebob says: "If Tigress will APOLOGIZE to me...!" Tigress slowly says: "Let me THINK about it--NO!!!!" Spongebob angrily says: "Than I'm ROCKING!!!!"

Genre: Soul. Sub-Genre: Disco Pop. Song: "Rock the Boat (Don't Rock the Boat)." Sung by Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool, and Team Retro. / During this musical performance, the muscular Spongebob keeps rocking Team Retro's boat, with Team S.R.R.R.C. encouraging Spongebob to rock the boat, and most of Team Retro telling Spongebob not to. Meanwhile, Team S.R.R.R.C. doesn't notice Daggett chewing up the wooden planks on their pirate boat. /

Tigress: "So I'd like to know where you got the notion, said I'd like to know where you got the notion." Taotie: "To rock the boat!" Reggie: "Don't rock the boat, baby!" Kaput: "Rock the boat!" Stimpy: "Don't tip the boat over!" Oonski: "Rock the boat!" Suzie: "Don't rock the boat, baby!" Zarbon: "Rock the boat!" Rocko to Reggie: "Ever since our voyage of love began, your touch has thrilled me like the rush of the wind." Po to Tigress: "And your arms have held me safe from a rolling sea, there's always been a quiet place to harbor you and me." Captain Retro to Marlene: "Our love is like a ship on the ocean. We've been sailing with a cargo full of love and devotion." Marlene to Spongebob: "So I'd like to know where you got the notion, said I'd like to know where you got the notion." Chameleon: "To rock the boat!" Sanjay: "Don't rock the boat, baby." Bulma: "Rock the boat!" Robot: "Don't tip the boat over!" Keswick: "Rock the boat!" Craig: "Don't rock the boat, baby." Buhdeuce: "Rock the boat!" Reggie to Rocko: "Up to now we sailed through every storm." Marlene to Captain Retro: "And I've always had your tender lips to keep me warm." Daggett, about Norbert: "Oh I need to have the strength that flows from you." Norbert, about Treeflower: "Don't let me drift away my dear, when love can see me through."

Sway-Sway, about Jenny Quackles: "Our love is like a ship on the ocean. We've been sailing with a cargo full of love and devotion." Heffer: "So I'd like to know where you got the notion, said I'd like to know where you got the notion." Monster: "So I'd like to know where you got the notion, said I'd like to know where you got the notion." Dudley: "To rock the boat!" Marlene: "Don't rock the boat, baby." Harvey: "Rock the boat!" Robot: "Don't tip the boat over." Taotie: "Rock the boat!" Suzie: "Don't rock the boat, baby!" Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool: "Rock the boat, ooh! Rock the boat, rock on with yo bad self! Rock the boat, rock on with yo bad self! Rock the boat, rock on with yo bad self!" (CRASH!!!! GLUG!!!!) Daggett: "Rock the boat, rock on with yo bad self!" Bulma sighs: "Rock the boat." / And the epic song ends, as Daggett gets back to Team Retro's boat, while Team S.R.R.R.C. has to stop for repairs! /

Meanwhile, Team Adversity, while the other teams have been busy dealing with THEIR confusion, Team Adversity actually gets to the diving area! Otto asks: "Are you SURE the treasure chest is located around here?!" Phoebe says: "Accounting for about 400 years of ocean and continental drift, it should be." Wally, Skipper, and Patrick get suited up for diving down into the ocean. Wally says: "The three of us are going down! Randolph, keep an eye on the amount of time left on our oxygen tanks. Dog, you're on stand-by in case we need a rescue! Zim, blast Team S.R.R.R.C. with a laser in case they show up! Everybody else, get ready to get us out of here in case we need to get a speedy getaway! Does everyone understand their roles?" Dib says: "I'm just glad YOU guys are doing something dangerous and not me, I've already had ENOUGH danger dealing with Zim!" Zim rolls his eyes and says: "Please! The biggest danger you ever faced with me, was that nightmare you had about ME trying to steal people's organs!" Dib says: "Just because it was a DREAM, doesn't make it any less SCARY!!!! I still shudder sometimes thinking about it!" Zim suggests: "Than don't think about it!"

King Julien says: "Skipper, please come back! I don't know what I will do without YOU to talk to!" Skipper says: "I've faced LOADS of scarier operations than this! I'll be fine!" Patrick says: "Okay guys, into the drink!!!!" And three splashes are heard as the trio dive underwater!!!! Skipper asks: "Patrick, why do YOU need an underwater diving suit? You're an aquatic creature!" Patrick says: "I still need to breathe. It's a precaution. It's better to have this suit and not need it, than to need it and not have it!" Wally says: "Lucky for us, the ocean is very clear!" Patrick points down and says: "Look! The golden treasure chest! We're cool!!!!" Skipper says: "Not cool! It's being protected by an electric eel! I can't fight THAT! Not even with a...39 and a half foot pole!" Patrick says: "Let me handle this! It's time for Plan Patrick!" Skipper looks seriously and asks: "Plan Patrick?" Patrick says: "I ask the electric eel to sleep somewhere else, and we take the treasure chest without a struggle." Wally says: "I think it's worth a shot." Skipper sighs and says: "All right, I suppose that YOU are the Admiral!" Wally corrects and says: "That's Admiral Wally, his smartness, to you!" (Confessional)

Zim says: "Even after eight of his human years worrying about me, Dib still gets a little paranoid from time to time. Nobody ever said being in love with an Earthling was going to be easy, especially since I'm the first Irken in a long time who has ever ATTEMPTED to genuinely...love. But if Dib is willing to trust me, I owe him an attempt to show that I've reformed my ways as well! It's the least that I can do!" / Dib says: "For the most part, Zim doesn't scare me. Unless he gets insane. Everybody knows that an insane alien is a dangerous alien! Ever since we became partners, he is DEFINITELY less insane! But I still can't help but get nervous from time to time. I guess what my dad told me was true; old habits die hard." / Dog says: "I hope my team-mates don't HAVE any problems! But if they do, I will show off my skills as a life-guard and save the day! Randolph loves my skills!" / Randolph says: "When it comes to Dog's skills, I LOVE them! What else can I say? He impresses me!" / King Julien says: "As it turns out, I don't actually have the power to marry, which is sad to me. But at the very least, I have an interest in being together with Skipper! I can't wait for the day when he decides, that he wants to make an egg baby children with me! That...doesn't sound STUPID, right?!" (Camera briefly cuts, as King Julien tries to remove the D.V.D.)

King Julien says: "I want the D.V.D. back! Give me the D.V.D.! How do you open this thing?!" / Skipper asks: "Am I seriously going to leave this difficult endeavor to a rank amateur? Well, as Manfredi and Johnson once told me, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Besides, if things go wrong, he'll be the one taking the heat, not me!" / Patrick says: "I've learned from Spongebob's example. You don't get much by being mean. But if you're nice, you can get a lot of what you need. And I'm doing this to help Wally! It's time to put Plan Patrick into action!" / Wally says: "I'm not sure how many Admirals actually have to go underneath the ocean, but I'm willing to try anything once! And a good admiral is willing to face ANY challenge! This is just one of those challenges! It's time to take chances, take risks, and do this for Yay-Ok!" (End Confessional) Patrick says: "Okay, I'm going in." Patrick swims toward the electric eel and says: "Excuse me, but my pals and I are REALLY interested in that chest you're guarding, and there's a much better spot just three leagues away. I'm sure if you just swim towards the west, you'll find it!" The eel, not interested, simply ZAPS Patrick's left hand! Patrick screams: "AHHH!!!! Pain!!!! Get away, get away, get away, get AWAY!!!!" And Patrick swims away as fast as he can, with the eel following him!

Skipper says: "What do you know? Plan Patrick DID work; not in the way he intended, but it worked!" Wally says: "Come on! Help me get this treasure to the surface!!!!" / Meanwhile, Team Retro's pirate ship is still being rocked by the angry, muscular Spongebob, but Tigress STILL hasn't moved!!!! Spongebob angrily asks: "Are you going to apologize YET?!!!" Tigress rhetorically responds: "Does it LOOK like I'm going to apologize anytime SOON?!!!" Craig says: "Just APOLOGIZE already!!!! I'm getting SEASICK on this poop deck, emphasis on the word POOP!!!!" Sanjay says: "And trust me, Craig would NOT joke about something like that!!!!" Po says: "Tigress, apologize right NOW!!!!" Tigress says: "How many times do I have to tell YOU; apologizing is for the WEAK and WRONG?!!!" Po seriously says: "Tigress, I am VERY close to showing you just how 'weak' and 'wrong' YOU are!!!! Apologize right now!" Tigress spits in Spongebob's face and says: "NEVER!!!!" Po says: "Then I have no choice!!!!" And Po gets into a fighting stance!!!! Tigress says: "You're BLUFFING, Po!!!! You're not going to fight against ME, you don't HAVE the guts!!!!" Po says: "Don't believe me? Then I'll let you in on a little secret. Up until now, all the training fights we've had against each other, I have purposely been holding BACK, just to make YOU feel better!!!!"

Tigress scoffs and says: "Dream on! Except for Tai Lung, NOBODY exceeds ME in strength and speed!" Po says: "Until now!!!!" And Tigress thinks she has BLINKED as Po appears to VANISH without a trace!!!! Than Po sneaks behind her and punches her in the back! Po says: "Oh, lucky me!" Tigress says: "Cut it OUT!!!!" And Tigress tries to punch Po, but Po appears to vanish again!!!! Tigress says: "Now where did you go?!!!" Than Po appears behind her, and kicks her down again! Po says: "Lucky me again! Or, maybe you're NOT as strong and fast as you SAY you are!!!!" Tigress angrily says: "Why, YOU...!!!!" And Tigress angrily tries to throw a bunch of punches and kicks at Po, but he easily blocks all of them with just one hand! Po says: "No matter WHAT you try, the results ALWAYS remain the same!" Tigress equips her iron knuckles and says: "Laugh my FASTEST, STRONGEST punch OFF!!!!" And Tigress SWINGS as hard as she can, but Po jumps up, and actually LEVITATES in mid-air!!!! Po floats down and says: "Fighting against you is pointless, you clearly can't keep up!!!!" Tigress gasps and says: "It's not possible! I'm Master Tigress! I'm always the strongest! Nobody can surpass me, no one!!!! I am the STRONGEST warrior in China!!!!" Po asks: "Haven't you learned anything from Master Shifu? Strength equals NOTHING!!!!"

Stimpy says: "This ought to be interesting!" Po asks: "Look at me!!!! Do you even judge ME, for the way I look?!!! I thought you'd have learned MORE from Master Shifu by now! Strong and fast you may be, but you waste your time with pointless anger, and stubbornness! Also, you spend too much time judging others, by looking with your eyes, and NOT seeing the inner strengths they have inside them! If you EVER want to surpass your own limitations, you must first learn one important lesson. A person's worth and fighting potential are not based on brute strength and speed alone. It's also based on the amount of heart, love, and respect a person has for their opponent. Even if you think someone is acting like a jerk, it might just be because you are acting like a jerk yourself! For instance, the real reason you can't beat me, isn't just because I HAVE held back against you, it's because you waste your time seeing the chubby, portly panda on the outside, and not seeing the Dragon Warrior on the inside! That's the reason why Oogway didn't make YOU the Dragon Warrior! You know a lot, but you're NOT always right! Even YOU can be in the wrong, from time to time. That, is why you failed."

Then suddenly, Team Retro hears CHEERING from Team Adversity! Wally, Skipper, and Patrick come up out of the ocean! Wally says: "I did it! I did it you guys! I got Greenbeard's long lost treasure!!!!" Globitha gasps and says: "No WAY!!!!" Suzie asks: "They actually managed to FIND the treasure, even WITHOUT our help?!!!" Robot says: "It's not possible!" Captain Retro says: "Not only WAS it possible, but you helped MAKE it possible! Po is right, Tigress. By judging others on how they look, and not taking the time to truly know them, you are limiting yourself only to what you see, not what is possible! Remember, anything is possible, as long as you believe. That's how Spongebob is able to tap into his special abilities, and accomplish things beyond the ability of a normal sponge!" Tigress groans and says: "Man, I feel SO stupid!!!! No wonder I couldn't win!" Spongebob asks: "Well?" Tigress groans and says: "FINE!!!! I apologize for...hurting your...WHATEVER!!!!" Rocko says: "I think that's the best you're going to get from her!" Spongebob returns back to normal and says: "Now was THAT so hard for you to do, in ALL honesty?!!!" (Confessional)

Tigress RETCHES off-screen and says: "BLAH!!!! Ptoeey! Ptooey! Ptooey! I have NEVER been so humiliated in all my life! I am the great TIGRESS!!!! I shouldn't have to STOOP so low as to apologize to that common PEON!!!! Wait! What am I saying?!!! I'm starting to sound like TAOTIE!!!! I can't DO that!!!! I have to be STRONG! I can't be WEAK!!!! That's what separates ME from the bad guys! I guess I got to face the facts. I was...wrong! Wait! Did I just say THAT out LOUD?!!! (Camera briefly cuts, as Tigress tries to remove the D.V.D) I want the D.V.D. back! Give me the D.V.D.! How do you open this thing?!" / Spongebob says: "Admittedly, what I did was not exactly 'cool' of me. But Tigress needed to have a point PROVEN to her! She can't just judge people by how they look! She'll only end up hurting her own chances in the long run if she doesn't learn it now, while she is still able to!" / Captain Retro says: "I'm just glad that my ancestor, Greenbeard, will finally be able to rest in peace, knowing that his treasure will be put to good luck!" / Wally holds the treasure chest up high, and shows the golden treasure contained inside! Wally happily says: "It's all for you, Yay-Ok! At long last, you can finally get those upgrades! You deserve it!" / Po says: "I honestly hated having to fight against Tigress, but she was in the wrong! I HAD to make it right!" (End Confessional)

Back in Kingston, Jamaica, Sniz greets the three teams. Sniz says: "Welcome back. Team Adversity, welcome to first place, you've earned it! Team Retro, you had a quarrel, but your intentions were good. You're in second place. Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool; you really, really, really blew it today, trying to provoke Spongebob into sabotaging his own team! Fortunately, there's no elimination ceremony, seeing as how Treeflower already bit it, so the rest of you are all safe to remain playing!" And a spaceship comes up, and who comes out except Gus and Yay-Ok?!!! Gus says: "No way! My brother Wally, an Admiral! Really, an ADMIRAL?!!! How can you POSSIBLY out-rank me?!!!" Wally says: "Well, maybe if you didn't spend all your time being mean and nasty to others, especially Yay-Ok, maybe you could've focused more on trying to better yourself!" Yay-Ok says: "All that treasure, just to upgrade me! You've really matured, Wally! Even more so than your brother!" Gus says: "Oh, shut up!!!!" Wally says: "As Admiral Wally, his smartness, I officially decree that you can no longer be mean and nasty to Yay-Ok! Furthermore, if you WANT to remain a Rocket Monkey, you must promise to be NICER than others, and not just knee-jerk react to everything anymore! You have to think it OVER!!!!"

Gus gasps in shock and says: "I don't believe this!" Wally says: "That is why I now out-rank you!" Gus, with great reluctance, bows down to his now, superior ranking, younger brother! Wally gives Yay-Ok the golden treasure chest and says: "It's all yours! Now you go and get those upgrades you need!" Yay-Ok sighs and says: "Thank you, Wally. Thank you for everything! Come, Gus!!!!" Gus gets up and says: "Coming!" And with that, Gus and Yay-Ok blast off, to go buy Yay-Ok's upgrades! Sniz says: "And with that, another episode has been wrapped up! We are DOWN to 42 contestants, and we have just finished our 14th episode of this season! Where will we go next? What will happen next?! Can Team Adversity win another challenge? Find out on another new episode of Total Cartoon (sings) Global Cruise!!!! Jamaica!!!!" /

Episode Notes: Treeflower voluntarily drops out of the game with this episode, due to her pregnancy. Not only does this technically mark her third elimination. It also makes her one of the FEW contestants to be eliminated a different way with every single one of their eliminations. First elimination: Rigged off! Second elimination: Voted off! Third elimination: Dropped Out. Team Adversity technically win their first challenge in this episode, and Wally wins Greenbeard's Golden Treasure Chest! He gives it to Yay-Ok, so he can finally get his upgrades! It is revealed in this episode that Norbert and Daggett are actually NOT biological blood brothers, and are technically NOT related! It is also revealed in this episode that Po actually SURPASSES Tigress in both speed and strength, having previously held back against her! According to show continuity, this marks the first time Tigress has EVER apologized for ever being in the wrong! Featured songs in this episode are "Caribbean Queen" (which is also featured as part of the episode title), "Kokomo," and "Rock the Boat" originally by The Hues Corporation. A running gag in this episode is a contestant saying something in the Confessional that they did not MEAN to say, and trying to (and failing) to remove the D.V.D. from the disc player. /

Personal Notes: Although Treeflower's role in this season was never going to last long, she did fairly well for all the troubles she had to face this season. Unlike her previous attempts, where she was too condescending to Jimmy Neutron, and had too high of an opinion of herself in season two, she made a very valid attempt to show a different side of herself this season. This season, she genuinely worked to try to achieve her goals, made peace with the relationship between Norbert and Treeflower, and even patched things up with Marlene. Needless to say, Treeflower's karma GREATLY improved as a result! And as such, she now FINALLY has the greatest prize anyone can have, beautiful babies waiting to be born. Sadly, this prize is also the very thing that ends up hindering Treeflower from advancing any further in the game. Although Treeflower couldn't get as far as she wanted, unlike her first two seasons; this time Treeflower got to CHOOSE when she got to go! And there IS always season four! / That's my episode idea this time! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

It's time for another brand new episode adventure of "Total Cartoon Global Cruise!" Enjoy! / Sniz is in the cock-pit and says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Global Cruise, Team Retro was enjoying some well deserved luxury reward items from home. But one contestant, didn't get to enjoy hers for long! Because Treeflower, at long last, could no longer compete to the best of her abilities, being pregnant with Norbert's children. Treeflower voluntarily dropped out, for her own health, and the health of her kids. Everyone else, got to participate in a reward challenge, in the Caribbean Sea! The reward, was the lost golden treasure chest, of Greenbeard the Pirate! Team Retro intended to help Team Adversity get the reward, but because Tigress opened her big mouth to INSULT Spongebob, he didn't take her insult so well, and refused to stop rocking the boat until Tigress apologized! Ironically, as it turns out, Team Adversity didn't need any help at all, as they found the treasure chest all on their own! The treasure chest went to Admiral Wally, his smartness! And he in turn, gave the treasure chest to his long-time robot friend, Yay-Ok, so he could finally purchase his upgrades! While Team Retro eventually repaired the relationship between Spongebob and Tigress, it definitely showed Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool; a REALLY big weakness they could exploit! What new situation will develop in this upcoming challenge? Can Team Adversity win another challenge? And what kind of musical song will be played today? It HAS a Mexican flavor! It's coming up on today's edition of Total Cartoon (sings) Global Cruise! OLE!!!!" / "Catch Me If You Mexi-can!" /

For the first time, Team Adversity is enjoying the perks of first class! Judy says: "This is such a FABULOUS ride, don't you agree my friends?!" Super Chum says: "True that! Soft, comfy pillows. A supply of Paris Purple Flurp and Pepsi, popcorn, and all the sweets we can eat! Sure beats the slim pickings back in normal class!" Stanley says: "If we can keep winning challenges, we can enjoy this ALL the time!" Dib says: "That's not likely to happen!" Randolph asks: "Well, why do you say that?" Dib says: "Look at it logically. This is the LAST challenge before the second Performance Review! And look at our numbers! They are NOT good right now! We have lost seven contestants already! Technically eight, but we got back Skipper! We're down to thirteen! Meanwhile, Team Retro still has a healthy 15 members, and even Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool has 14 members; our team is NOT in a good position right now!" Dog says: "Which is why it's now more important than ever for us to take the initiative to turn this non-ideal situation around! We can recover from this, we just got to believe in ourselves!" Stanley says: "Good point, Dog. For instance, if I didn't believe in myself, I would still be worried about some non-existant curse! But thanks to Super Chum, I now know that curses don't exist! We can make a come-back! We just got to keep the pressure up on the other teams!" Zim asks: "Well, what would you suggest?" Stanley says: "Well, Wally seems to do a pretty good job as a commander/admiral. and Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool; while they are a good team, they're not as good as Team Retro! And Team Retro seems to be more friendly with us! Maybe we should make a beneficial two team alliance, we'll keep OUR team alive, and target the opponents in Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool!"

Phoebe says: "That sounds like a GREAT idea! But is it a feasible idea?" Wally says: "Technically speaking, there are no rules against two teams working together for a mutally beneficial relationship. Advantage, us." Skipper says: "There's still the little matter of the upcoming Team merge to worry about. No matter how we slice it, we'll STILL have to compete against Team Retro eventually!" Wally says: "True. But let's wait to cross that bridge when we come to it. Until then, I think we can be friends! Better than the alternative, us being bitter enemies!" King Julien says: "And as a King, I have lots of friends!" Skipper rolls his eyes and asks: "REALLY?!" King Julien seriously says: "YES!!!! I totally count Maurice, Mort, Marlene, and you penguin guys as my friends, and you're my most special friend of ALL, Skipper! MWAHH!!!!" And King Julien gives Skipper a BIG kiss on the penguin lips, and Skipper can't help but blush! (Confessional)

Skipper says: "That kiss, it DOES feel like love! Despite our differences, it seems like King Julien truly does love me, but I'm not just going to rush into another relationship with HIM again! Make that mistake once, shame on me! But I'm not the type of guy who makes the same mistake twice! If King Julien truly wants me, he will have to earn me! Just because he is a King, doesn't mean he can automatically have me! I didn't get to be a penguin commander by making tons of mistakes; that is NOT how I roll!" / King Julien says: "I know the look in Skipper's eyes! I know Skipper truly wants me! Sure, it is strange! Who can argue with that?! I wouldn't! But then, life wouldn't be as exciting if things weren't a little strange! I'm really interested in making a relationship between me and Skipper, work! Why? For one VERY good reason; it would automatically make me the most REMEMBERED Lemur King in the HISTORY of Lemur Kings! That, and the fact that I truly DO love Skipper!" / Dib says: "As nice as First Class is, it's never a good idea to get too comfortable with it. Don't get me wrong, I do like winning, but it's all so easy to NOT win!!!! That's why I'm cautious with this situation. As long as I don't lose my nerve, I should be fine! It's a good thing, I've got Zim with me, he's a good reminder about how to expect the unexpected! And in our case, it's turned out to be a GOOD thing!!!! (STRETCH!!!!) OOH!!! My growth spurt is finally kicking in! I think I grew a WHOLE three inches!!!!" /

Dog says: "One of the most positive qualities that Randolph loves about me, is that I always try to keep a cheery, happy, positive outlook on things. That's not to say I'm naive, I know that things can turn sour if you're not careful; but as long as you look on the bright side of life, you're bound to enjoy it more! And I do so love how to help others be positive!" / Randolph says: "At first, I thought that when Dog found out that I wasn't just all male, he'd turn away from me. But in spite of my odd anatomy, he still accepts me just the way I am! I guess if Caitlyn Jenner can have a healthy dating life, I can have a healthy married life! Maybe there IS someone for everyone! I just know that I'm lucky to have Dog; he makes me laugh. And I love a good laugh!" / Stanley says: "For some reason, the other contestants don't seem to take me or Spongebob all that seriously. And I understand my cousin's frustration; it gets a little insulting after a while. While I don't know if I can do all the cool things my cousin can, I know that I have my own skills that I can use as well! If Spongebob can surprise people, than so can I!" / Wally says: "Now that Yay-Ok finally has the money to pay for his upgrades, I can focus on having fun this season! I don't care if I actually win, I just want to do the best I can and make a decent showing. I'm proud of the performance I'm putting in. I have nothing to be ashamed of!" (End Confessional)

Team Retro and Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool, are uncomfortable hanging together in normal class. Sanjay asks: "Well, is anybody ELSE going to address the elephant in this room, or do I have to do it?!" Robot says: "There IS no elephant in this competition!" Sanjay says: "Obviously, I'm using the word elephant as a metaphor!" Craig says: "Seriously, how can you not pick up on that?!" Robot says: "Sorry, but I wasn't equipped to automatically pick up on metaphors!" Globitha says: "Don't worry, I can teach you!" Robot says: "I would like that!" Sanjay says: "Anyways, as good as our team is, we do need to work on...some issues between us. I think you KNOW what I'm talking about Tigress!!!!" Tigress angrily says: "Do you HONESTLY dare to address ME like that?!!!" Stimpy says: "Lay off! Come on! I'm a feline to, but you can't just give into anger impulses! How do you ever expect to be happy in life?!" Tigress gasps and says: "Come on!!!! I just want to introduce Sanjay to REASON and PERSUASION!!!!" Marlene snickers and sarcastically says: "Let me guess, the names you came up with for YOUR two fists?!!!" Tigress gasps and seriously says: "I did NOT name them that! They named themselves that!!!!" And Marlene looks at Tigress in a worried matter. (Confessional)

Marlene says: "AND...with THAT, I now OFFICIALLY have to be worried about Tigress sanity, who has appeared to have gone from a seven, to an ELEVEN, on a 1-10 scale of CRAZY, with 10 being the maximum amount of CRAZY!!!! On the other hand, it might mean I will OUTLAST Tigress in competition this season, which would be just FINE for me!" / Sanjay says: "I'm smart enough to NOT pick a fight with Tigress intentionally! So why is she always looking for one?! I have no beef with her!" / Craig says: "Seriously, I want to know what kind of problem Tigress HAS with everyone!" / Tigress asks: "Do you want to know WHY I'm so angry? Here's a hint. He's about MY height, about 600 pounds HEAVIER than I am in terms of muscles, and he's black and white all over?! (Camera briefly cuts) Not, it's NOT a zebra on STEROIDS!!!! It's Po, who just recently, has given me a crushing demonstration, and I don't mean in crushes! How LONG has he been holding BACK on ME?!!! And furthermore, how DID he do all that...that...UGHHHH!!!! I HATE how I HAVE to say...amazing, stuff, that he can somehow do, and I don't know how! Is it really possible? Is it possible that there's a level of fighting that I'm NOT achieving, because I don't see the potential of people on the inside, and only focus on what they look on the outside? (Shakes her head) Get a GRIP on yourself, Tigress! Po just beat me by a FLUKE!!!! I'm ALWAYS on the top of the game, because I'm ALWAYS the strongest! Come ON!!!! It's not like I can actually LOSE to anybody on the face of this EARTH!!!!" /

Robot says: "Maybe I should've tried to win the reward in the last challenge, than I could've purchased the upgrades necessary for understanding metaphors. At least Globitha is willing to teach me!" / Stimpy says: "Knowing how and when to express your feelings properly is good for a healthy life. I needed to know how to do that last season, and now it seems like Tigress needs to learn how to do it, and I can help her! I certainly WANT to!" (End Confessional)

Captain Retro says: "Sanjay, you do bring up a valid point. We still have a ways to go before the team merge, so we should take care of any problems that we have right now, instead of later! This is the perfect time for us to do it!" Than Captain Retro notices his Orb of Infinite Wisdom glowing! Marlene asks: "Why is your Orb glowing? You didn't ask it a question!" Captain Retro says: "It's a sign! Remember how I told you if I gave up something, I could get something in return?! Well, I technically DID give up Captain Greenbeard's treasure chest so Wally could have it. But what I have is a sign, telling me that I can learn a new power!" Marlene says: "Could you get your inter-dimensional travel powers back?" Captain Retro says: "Not with that small of a treasure chest, I can't. But what I CAN get is something cool. I just have to decide what I want it to be first." Marlene says: "When you figure it out, you let me know, okay?" Captain Retro says: "Okay!" (Confessional)

Captain Retro says: "Generosity is always rewarded! Letting someone else have my ancestor's treasure chest, has allowed me the ability to learn a new power, and I want it to be a good one! The question I have to ask myself is, which power could I really use, that could really come in handy for me? I already have flight, lightning speed, and super vision. What else could I use? I suppose I'll figure it out soon enough." (End Confessional) Reggie asks: "Rocko, where do you think we'll be going this time? Do you think it will be somewhere that I can surf?" Rocko says: "I don't know, Reggie. We'll have to wait to find out!" Than just like clock-work, Sniz's voice comes over the intercom!

Sniz says: "Attention contestants! Our flight today, is taking us to the MUY beautiful location of Cancun, in Mexico! Break out the tamales and start cooking burritos; we'll be cooking up a festival of FLAVOR today!" Marlene says: "Awesome! A Mexican themed challenge! And where better to have it than IN Mexico?! This is going to be a hot and spicy challenge!" Captain Retro says: "Hot and spicy, sounds...different." (Confessional) Captain Retro sighs and says: "I've been dreading this upcoming challenge, I knew it would come sooner or later! One of my more notable weaknesses, is that I can't really handle hot AND spicy Mexican food to well! The amount of hot peppers they put into food is very noticeable, especially the DREADED Habanero pepper, and that's just the LEGAL stuff! I've heard that there are even hotter peppers that they can't even put onto the market, because they are THAT dangerous! This does NOT bode well for my chances!" / Marlene says: "It seems as though Captain Retro has found something that he's not too fond or excited about. Personally, I can handle Mexican foods! I can handle just about everything! So if Captain Retro needs a hand, I'm all too happy to help him out!" (End Confessional)

The plane touches down at an airport near Cancun, Mexico, and the three teams all get out. Sniz says: "Teams, your challenge will be two-fold! Using all these typical Mexican ingredients found in traditional Mexican foods, you are going to cook a delicious Mexican feast for our very own General Barracuda!!!!" General Barracuda dances out of the plane, shaking maracas, wearing traditional Mexican garb, and wearing a FANCY sombrero!

General Barracuda says: "Ole!!!! It's time I had a reward of my own!" Sniz says: "General Barracuda will be judging the feast all three teams come up with! But be warned, if General Barracuda doesn't like a FOOD you have cooked, you will have to eat it yourself! And let me just say, eating will put you at a disadvantage for the second part of the challenge!" Bulma asks: "Care to elaborate on that, Sniz?" Sniz says: "Certainly, my fair lady! The second part of the challenge will be riding a bull in our very own version of the Mexican Rodeo!!!! Beware, of El TORO LOCO!!!! That's Spanish for the Crazy Bull! Whichever team scores the highest from the two part challenge today, wins immunity and first class! The losing team will face a bad predicament after today's challenge, they will have to vote off TWO contestants instead of just one!" Patrick says: "And suddenly, our situation just got a LOT more dire!" Sniz says: "Team Retro, since you have one more contestant than Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool, you'll have to SIT one of your own out!" Captain Retro raises his hand and says: "I volunteer to sit this one out. I'm not that fond of Mexican foods and furthermore, I'm not that good of a cook." Sniz says: "No problem, but you WILL have to come up with a cool, Mexican song for us to sing along to!" Captain Retro says: "I have one in mind, but I need to go to a local radio station to make it work in context! Where's the nearest radio station?!" Fondue sighs and says: "About four blocks away from the beach, the blue building next to the most important library in town, you can't miss it!" Captain Retro says: "Thanks!" And Captain Retro rushes to the radio station!

(Confessional) Harvey Beaks asks: "I have to wonder, what exactly does it mean to make something work in context? Does it mean NOT breaking the fourth wall, the way my series doesn't resort to doing? Or does it mean something else entirely? I'm guessing I'll find out for sure, pretty soon!" / Bulma says: "Nobody's going to get ME to ride on a bull! It's unrefined and furthermore, not at all fit for my status as a lady of GREAT importance! I mean, I want to WIN this season, but I also want to keep my PRIDE intact!" / Zarbon says: "I sure hope I don't have to mess up my body by having to eat any hot, spicy, Mexican foods! After all, my body IS my temple! And who in their right mind, would want to mess up a BEAUTIFUL temple like this?!" Zarbon takes off his shirt and reveals a perfectly chiseled, 12 pack abs! Zarbon says: "Most guys are content with six, but I go all the way to 12!" (End Confessional) Norbert says: "It sure does make me wonder what Captain Retro plans to play!" Daggett says: "Knowing him, I'm sure it will be a good song we'll really enjoy!" The radio comes on, and no sooner does that happen, then does a familiar sound get played! (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!) Captain Retro, over the radio says: "And this is your special guest, D.J. Captain Retro, bringing you a live broadcast over the radio! And that sound tells me that it is time to sing a special song! And what better way to celebrate Mexico, than a song about being on a Mexican Radio, originally done by Wall of Voodoo, in 1982?!" /

Genre: Industrial Rock. Sub-Genre: Art Punk. Song: "Mexican Radio." Sung by: Captain Retro and others. / Captain Retro: "I feel a hot wind on my shoulder, and the touch of a world that is older. I turn the switch and check the number. I leave it on when in bed I slumber!" Marlene with Captain Retro: "I hear the rhythms of the music. I buy the product and never use it!" Norbert with Captain Retro: "I hear the talking of the D.J.!" Daggett: "Can't understand just what does he say?!" Captain Retro: "I'm on a Mexican radio! I'm on a Mexican whoa-oh, radio! I dial it in and tune the station, they talk about the U.S. Inflation!" Zim with Captain Retro: "I understand just a little. No comprende, it's a riddle!" Captain Retro: "I'm on a Mexican radio! I'm on a Mexican whoa-oh, radio! I wish I was in Tijuana!" Oonski with Captain Retro: "Eating barbequed iguana!" Captain Retro: "I'd take requests on the telephone, I'm on a wavelength far from my home!" Stimpy with Captain Retro: "I feel a hot wind on my shoulder, I dial it in from south of the border!" Rocko with Captain Retro: "I hear the talking of the D.J.!" Kaput: "Can't understand just what does he say?!" Captain Retro: "I'm on a Mexican radio! I'm on a Mexican whoa-oh, radio! I'm on a Mexican radio! I'm on a Mexican whoa-oh, radio! Radio, Radio, Radio, Radio!" Reggie with Captain Retro: "Radio, Radio, Radio, Radio!" Captain Retro: "I'm on a Mexican radio! I'm on a Mexican whoa-oh, radio! I'm on a Mexican radio! I'm on a Mexican whoa-oh, radio! Radio radio!" Chameleon: "What does he say?" Captain Retro: "Radio, Radio, Radio, Radio!" / And the epic song ends! Sniz says: "Definitely a good choice of song! Now, we've got a challenge to prep for! We'll be ready by the time you come back after some important commercial announcements!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

[4EverGreen]

It's time for the second and FINAL part of my latest "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" episode, "Catch Me If You Mexi-can!" / After the commercials end, Captain Retro is back with the other contestants, but is sitting off to the side, as he has chosen to sit this part of the challenge out. Everybody else, is ready to whip up a grande Mexican feast for General Barracuda! Sniz says: "Teams, you will each have 30 minutes to cook up the BEST Mexican feast that you possibly can! And remember, no SABOTAGING; Kaput, or you'll get hit with a penalty vote!!!!" Kaput whispers under his breath so Sniz can't hear and says: "Stupid brat!!!!" Sniz says: "And be careful about what ingredients you put into your food. If you put in an ingredient that General Barracuda doesn't like, you'll have to eat it yourself! Ready, set; COOK!!!!" And an oven timer begins to count down how much time remains for the three teams! Stimpy says: "I've got a really good dish! Lil Deville taught me!" Marlene asks: "Not one of Mad Dog Hoek's recipes?!" Stimpy says: "Si! It's called the Trojan Enchilada! We take one part salsa, one part hot peppers, one part hot sauce, five MORE parts hot sauce, one part beans, we load it up with spicy pepper jack cheese, and the end result, is an EXPLOSION of flavor, hot enough to make YOU, go...BOOM-BOOM!!!!"

Everyone else on Team Retro looks at each other nervously, and Marlene says: "While I personally love a good enchilada, we are NOT going to go with the Trojan Enchilada!" Robot suggests: "How about we make some bacon-wrapped fajitas?!!!" Marlene says: "We are going to make some bacon-wrapped fajitas!!!!" Rocko says: "Sorry mate, but you know how crazy Lil Deville's recipes can get. They tend to get a little...TOO explosive! It's not that we're afraid, far from it! We've just got this thing about NOT wanting to lose! It's not us! You understand, right?" Stimpy thinks about it and says: "It's okay, no problem. Bacon-wrapped fajitas sound like a better idea anyways!" Norbert says: "And we can cook up some good Mexican chips as a side!" Daggett says: "And for refreshments, I'll squeeze some prickly pears to get prickly pear juice!" Reggie says: "Sounds like a plan to me! Let's get cooking!!!!" / Zarbon says: "All right guys, we need to catch up to Team Retro, and NOT let them just walk away with another victory! Got any ideas?!!!" Bulma asks: "Are you kidding me? I'm FULL of ideas! Not only am I the number one GENIUS of West City, I also HAPPEN to be the number one CHEF in it as well!" Buhdeuce seriously asks: "Really? You sure don't LOOK like one?!" Bulma asks: "Can I help it if I'm so darn beautiful?!!!"

(Confessional) Stimpy says: "One day, Lil, you and I WILL cook the Trojan Enchilada, and ride on its spicy rocket to number one, in a summer fair cook-off! Victory will be ours for the taking!" / Marlene says: "It's not that I think General Barracuda doesn't LIKE spicy food! I want to cook something, that on the off chance General Barracuda DOESN'T like it; in case we have to eat our OWN food, I want it to be something that WE can handle! Foresight, that's why I'm going to make it far in the game!" / Rocko says: "More important than us winning this challenge, is being smart about it! We want to be safe, and not take any risks that we don't have to! I know life will throw us risks that we can't avoid from time to time, but any risk we can avoid, we will definitely make SURE, that we avoid that risk! That's one of the reasons why Team Retro has the most members right now!" / Buhdeuce groans and says: "Honestly, I'm getting SICK of hearing Bulma TALK about herself!!!! She thinks she's SO smart and SO beautiful!!!! But in all honesty, there's not a lot of THERE...there! If that makes any sense! I'm REALLY hoping she doesn't make it to the team merge, it would help ME keep peace of mind!" / Bulma says: "Genius is genetic! I inherited it from my dad! And one day, I will have a son who will inherit it for me! Winning IS inevitable!" / Zarbon says: "Bulma, don't blow this!"

(End Confessional) Bulma says: "We are going to tropical fruit items! Pineapples and mangoes on sticks, with mild salsa dipping sauce, and coconut juice as a refreshment!" Taotie gasps and asks: "That's IT?!!! There's not even any MEAT in your entree! Come on!!!! Surely you can come up with some good beef in there SOMEWHERE!!!!" Bulma says: "I'm THINKING of Heffer! Technically speaking, beef is contained IN him, and putting beef into a dish that Heffer MIGHT have to EAT, just seems CRUEL!!!! That's one of the reasons why I didn't suggest using pork in our dish, because Taotie, YOU contain pork in you!" Taotie blushes in shame and says: "Well, you...got me there! But what about chicken?!!! None of us are chickens! And do any of you ducks CARE about eating a chicken?!!!" Harvey asks: "Will it be one that has died of old age?!" Taotie thinks about it and says: "Maybe!" Harvey says: "Than that would be fine!" Bulma says: "If you can FIND a chicken to cook, we'll include it in the dinner menu. Otherwise, our meal stays as it is!" Taotie says: "Come on, Kaput! We're going hunting!!!!" Kaput asks: "What?!!! Why ME?!!!" Taotie says: "Remember, you OWE your longevity in this competition to ME!!!! Refuse to do what I want, and I reveal everything that YOU'VE done to SNIZ!!!! Do you want to TRY that?!"

(Confessional) Kaput angrily says: "OHHH, I HATE that!!!! If I didn't need to take my genius ideas from Taotie, I'd DUMP him!!!! But as such, it's still too early to strike out on my own! Besides, how hard could it be to catch ONE measly chicken?!" / Harvey says: "Technically speaking, chickens can put up quite a bit of a fight! I'm surprised that they are even CALLED chickens! They sure don't act like chickens if they chase you up a tree! That's happened to me once! Then again, that WAS before I became friends with Fee and Foo. They don't let bad chickens chase ME up trees anymore!" / Taotie says: "I want to win this challenge badly! BADLY!!!! I crave a victory SO much, I can almost taste it! That's why we NEED some meat in our feast! We need it! Otherwise, we have a plain, boring meal that's NOT going to score high with General Barracuda's taste buds! Honestly, the way we're going to win this challenge, is with VARIETY!!!!" / Heffer says: "It's nice to know that Bulma is thinking of me, even though it's probably only because she wants my vote to help protect her in future challenges! But I might still consider it, regardless of that fact!" (End Confessional)

Finally, Team Adversity gets ready to cook THEIR meal!!!! Dib says: "Team, we can't take ANY chances! We need to cook up something exciting, or else we will lose TWO contestants this time! What should we make?!!!" Super Chum says: "That Trojan Enchilada idea of Stimpy's sounds good! The problem is, I'm not sure if we can make it!" Stanley says: "I'm sure we can if we all work together!" Skipper says: "Well, let's not forget, General Barracuda has a pretty healthy appetite! He will WANT to eat it all! Therefore, we must make it as big as we possibly can!" King Julien says: "We'll make it a KING sized meal, one to be fit for eating from a King!" Dog says: "And we load it up with bell peppers, lots of bell peppers!" Randolph says: "And ortega meat!" Patrick says: "This is going to be the best meal ever!" Judy says: "And I will ride us into victory by riding the bull! It will be the performance of MY career!" Phoebe says: "I sure hope so!" Skipper says: "Dib, Judy, you two can put yourselves on the line if you want; but if either of you mess up this challenge for us, you two will be the ones that WE vote off!" (Confessional)

Super Chum says: "REALLY not good! Dib is brainy, and Judy has great acting skills! What if we go to Hollywood, California in a future challenge?! Those acting skills might come in handy! I hope I don't have to vote her off!" / Stanley says: "This is not an ideal challenge for us to lose! Technically speaking, we may ALL be responsible whether our team wins or loses this challenge! But I can't just let myself get voted off now, I'm actually doing well for myself! It is a difficult choice, but it boils down to who will be better in future challenges! And I have loads of untapped potential! And I am READY to use it!" / Skipper says: "If General Barracuda's appetite is anything like mine, he will WANT to eat a lot! So I don't want to disappoint him! Besides, you've NEVER seen a Trojan Enchilada until you've seen a SKIPPER Trojan Enchilada!" / King Julien says: "I am SO proud of that King-sized meal pun that I just made! That alone will probably be enough for me to make it all the way to the team merge! I mean, I would be so surpri-sed if it didn't!" / Dog says: "Another good thing about Randolph; he and I can bounce a LOT of good ideas off of each other!" / Randolph says: "Team-work is the real key to our good relationship! As long as we have each other, I know we can face ANY difficult situation together!" / Judy says: "If I can memorize all of War and Peace, this WON'T be hard for me!"

(End Confessional) A montage of the three teams making up their meals is seen, while the musical sounds of "The Mexican Hat Dance" can be seen, which also involves scenes of both Taotie and Kaput trying (and failing to) capture a chicken! / Finally, the montage ends, and time runs out; Taotie and Kaput both walk back in with exhaustion. Monster asks: "What's the verdict?" Taotie gasps and says: "Chicken, FIVE!!!! Us? Zero!!!!" Bulma says: "No matter! You don't need MEAT to make a meal!" Taotie whispers to Kaput: "Tell THAT to Colonel Sanders!" Sniz says: "It's time to judge the dishes! General Barracuda, start with Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool and THEIR really, really, really, cool dish!" Bulma says: "I call it the tropical treat retreat!" General Barracuda says: "Sounds promising! Let's see if it tastes as good as it looks!" General Barracuda tries the feast, and he appears to genuinely like it! General Barracuda says: "Not bad. Could use a little meat, but my taste buds are still delighted. On a scale of 1-10, I give it a SEVEN!!!!" Taotie says: "Told you!" Bulma says: "Shut up! We STILL have a seven!"

Sniz says: "Team Retro, you're up next!" Marlene says: "We've got bacon-wrapped fajitas, chips, and prickly pear cactus juice!" Daggett shakes off some cactus needles in his fur and sheepishly chuckles: "I squeezed it myself!" General Barracuda says: "You put in a lot of hard work, let's see what you've got!" General Barracuda tries the feast, and his eyes light up with ecstasy, as he QUICKLY devours all of it! General Barracuda exclaims: "WOW!!!! What a good meal! I had no idea Mexican food could TASTE that good! Team Retro, you get a PERFECT 10!!!!" Dib exclaims in horror: "Oh, NO!!!! They're way ahead!!!! We can't BEAT a 10!" Wally says: "If we can't BEAT a 10, we can at least HOPE that we tie! All we have to do is NOT have our food taste BAD to General Barracuda's taste-buds!" Judy says: "And with Dib's smarts, it shouldn't!" Dib nervously says: "It all boils down to how General Barracuda feels about this dish! General Barracuda, we present to you the Trojan Enchilada!!!!" Stimpy gasps in horror and says: "Oh NO!!!! They DIDN'T!!!!" Captain Retro says: "I thought you WANTED to make the Trojan Enchilada!" Stimpy says: "I DID, because I can cook it up just RIGHT!!!! It HAS to be cooked up just right! And only Lil and I know how to properly cook up the Trojan Enchilada just RIGHT!!!! If you don't cook it up just right, it will NOT be pretty!!!!"

Captain Retro gasps in alarm and says: "Team, we better STAND far BACK!!!!" And all of Team Retro AND Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool, back away from Team Adversity's dish!!!! General Barracuda says: "A Trojan Enchilada! That DOES sound like an exciting Mexican dish!" General Barracuda cuts up a piece, takes a bite, and chews. At first, it appears that NOTHING is happening!!!! Sniz says: "Well folks, it seems as though we're experiencing some technical difficul--." (BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) General Barracuda screams: "AHHHH!!!! My tongue is on fire!!!! My tongue is on fire!" Sniz shouts: "WANDA!!!!" Wanda appears and poofs up a fire hose! General Barracuda screams: "My tongue--!!!!" And Wanda SPRAYS a powerful blast of WATER into General Barracuda's mouth, until the heat is ALL washed away!!!! General Barracuda pants and says: "Thank you, I needed that! Team ADVERSITY!!!! That was hands down, the WORST Mexican dish it has EVER been my displeasure to have touch MY tongue, and SLIP into MY digestive system! Even that ONE small bite, it will haunt me for WEEKS!!!! You made it, so YOU have to eat it!" Dib gulps nervously and says: "All of it?" General Barracuda shouts: "All of it!!!!!" And Team Adversity groans in frustration!

(Confessional) Stimpy shudders in fear and says: "Glad I didn't cook that dish up wrong! Poor General Barracuda! He might be hard on us, but he didn't need THAT!!!! Come on! Even HE deserves better!" / Captain Retro says: "I'm glad we didn't lose. But more importantly, I'm glad I don't have to eat the Trojan Enchilada!" / Marlene says: "Sometimes, listening to the ideas of other people is NOT a good idea! Especially if you don't even KNOW how to COOK the item you're trying to make!" / Dib, full of the PAINFUL Trojan Enchilada, can only say: "The horror, the HORROR; THE horror!!!!" / Zim groans to and says: "I might be an alien, but even THAT hurts my digestive system! (STRETCH!!!!) Ooh! I think I grew a full three inches! Dib's growth spurt must finally be kicking in! Which means I get to grow with him! But still...PAIN!!!! I'm going to feel THIS next week!" / Wally seems remarkably unfazed! Wally says: "Looks all that spice torture training has paid off! Rocket Monkeys have to know how to handle ANY hot spices that are fed to them, just in case an enemy captures us and tries to torture us into telling secrets with hot spices! Admittedly, the rest of my team didn't handle the dish so well, but it could've been a lot worse! If my team wasn't so resilient, they probably would've spilled all of their secrets to General Barracuda!!!!" (End Confessional)

Team Adversity is groaning in pain, as they have FINALLY finished the Trojan Enchilada! Sniz says: "I'm actually amazed that you're all still conscious! You've impressed me! But, you still only have one point for your effort! Your team will have to ride last! You better hope you get a good score in the next part of the challenge!" Judy sighs and says: "I know! El Toro Loco! Let's get this over with!" / The teams arrive at the Mexican Rodeo, and see the biggest, baddest, craziest bull they have EVER seen!!!! Spongebob's eyes widen up and says: "Holy Krabby Patties! That's a lot of BEEF!!!!" Sniz says: "Years ago, you would've seen matadors do fights against bulls! However, that is NOW seen as the inhumane practice it actually is! Fortunately, people can still ride bulls! Each team will have to pick one volunteer to ride on the bull for as long as they can! Each second you can last, equals another point for your team! Whichever team scores the most combined points for both challenges, wins immunity! Team Adversity, you better pick a good bull rider! You'll need a lot of points to catch up to the other two teams!"

Wally says: "Judy, are you sure you can do this for us? I can volunteer instead, I feel confidant about my abilities!" Judy says: "I will NOT be denied the performance of a life-time! I've waited for this moment! I've YEARNED for this moment! I live...for the moment at hand! I will achieve it ALL!!!! Or nothing, at all! Good-night, my sweet Prince Roger. I ride, for you!!!! End scene!" (Confessional) Wally says: "I'll say this about Judy, she doesn't back down easy! I just hope that she doesn't lose her lunch!" / Judy says: "A truly good acting personality, doesn't let something as insignificant as indigestion slow her down! I've come too far to be denied my victory now! It's time to make my brother proud! Regain the honor of my Roger, and show everyone, why I am the BEST actress Bluffington will EVER know! This is my moment to shine!" (End Confessional) Captain Retro raises his hand and says: "I'll ride the bull for my team!" Marlene asks: "Really?" Captain Retro says: "I have experience riding horses back where I grew up. Bulls shouldn't be that much different, just a little more bucking to worry about! Not to mention, the horns!" Oonski says: "I'll ride for MY team! I am Oonski the Great!!!! And no bull makes a mockery out of ME! I DEMAND to go first!" Judy says: "I am ready, to ride into the performance of my career!"

Sniz says: "It's all settled then! Oonski, you ride first! Captain Retro, you ride second! Judy, you get the advantage of seeing how the other two contestants ride, and how long THEY last, to know how long YOU need to last, in order to catch up to the other two teams!" And Oonski realizes the BLUNDER he has made in his plan! (Confessional) Oonski face-palms himself and says: "Stupid, stupid, STUPID!!!! I wanted to go FIRST, set the bar high, and intimidate the others! But what if that BACKFIRES?!!! I'll be humiliated if Judy Funny manages to outlast me! And I have no idea how good Captain Retro's skills our! This does not bode well for my chances!" / Sway-Sway says: "If our team loses now, it looks like Oonski might be the one who takes the plunge!" / Buhdeuce says: "I would LOVE to personally party punch Oonski out of the plane, and there would be NOTHING he can do about it! That would be SO great!" / Bulma says: "At least I know I'll be safe. I actually did pretty well for myself this challenge! If we lose, I can probably convince the others to vote off Oonski, and probably Kaput. Taotie can still be useful in a future challenge, in terms of strategizing and brute strength, so I'll keep him along until I don't need him anymore! Brains! That's why I'm going to WIN in the end!" (End Confessional)

Oonski is ready to ride, and Sniz says: "Remember, you have seven points already! However long you last in the amount of seconds, will be converted into points and added into your total score! Good luck!" Oonski says: "In this case, I might need it!" And the bull grunts angrily! Sniz says: "On your mark, get set--!" (BRING!!!!) And Fondue rings a Mexican Fiesta Bell! Sniz shouts: "Go!!!!" Despite the bull's bucking and rough behavior, Oonski manages to do pretty well in terms of holding on! Oonski manages to hold on; but once it gets to 30 seconds, Oonski jumps off! Sniz shouts: "STOP!!!!" And the bull immediately calms down! Sniz says: "You lasted for 30 seconds, your total score is 37 points! You're ahead of Team Retro at the moment, but will you stay there?" Oonski says: "Sorry guys, I couldn't stay any longer on there if I tried!" Taotie says: "Lightweight!" Captain Retro gets on the bull, and comforts him. Captain Retro says: "I see into your soul, you are not truly bad, you have unresolved issues with your mother and father. You can make them proud, just put on a good performance, and let me ride on you for as long as you will allow me! Let your karma be your guide!" And surprisingly, it seems as though the bull ACTUALLY comprehends what Captain Retro is asking of him!

Sniz says: "Captain Retro, your team already has 10 points! In order to tie or surpass Team S.R.R.R.C., you need to last for 27 seconds or longer! But keep in mind, Team Adversity still has to go, and you don't know how well Judy might do! So no pressure!" Captain Retro says: "To quote Spongebob, I'm Ready!" Tigress asks: "Why not quote ME?!!! I'm LOADS a better warrior than Spongebob is!!!!" Spongebob rhetorically asks: "Why don't YOU ride the bull, then?!" Tigress seriously says: "I'll PASS, Spongebob!" Sniz says: "On your mark, get set--!" (BRING!!!!) And Fondue rings the Mexican Fiesta bell again! And Captain Retro begins to ride the bull! While Captain Retro rides, Team Retro hears a FAMILIAR Spanish tune, and can't help but make up their own version of the song! /

Genre: Chicano Rock. Sub-Genre: Latin Rock. Song: "El Toro!" (To the tune of "La Bamba!") Sung by: Team Retro! / Marlene: "Better hang on to Toro!" Stimpy: "You don't want to get gored, no, that would be quite tragic!" Rocko: "It is no simple magic, arriba y arriba!" Reggie: "Ah yes, arriba y arriba, that means, go fast, go very fast, so very fast!" Spongebob: "Why are we making up lyrics?!" Tigress: "I don't know any Spanish, my Capitán, oh Capitán, my Capitán!" Team Retro: "Ride El Toro! Don't get gored, no! Please just soar, oh!" Sanjay: "But not Zorro!" Robot: "Better hang onto Toro!" Captain Retro: "I am doing quite well, oh, there is no need to be worried! There is simply no need to be hurried!" Sniz: "Arriba y arriba!" (Instrumental Solo) Globitha: "Well this song last much longer?" Craig: "No, but it might finish stronger if you ask me, and I will say mucho gracias!" Po: "But rhymes with gracias? Is it maracas, La Cucracha? No, that is something else now!" Norbert: "It is something else now, that much is true!" Daggett: "That much is true, that much IS true!" Team Retro: "Ride El Toro! Don't get gored, no! Please just soar, oh!" (JUMP!!!!) Captain Retro: "I rode El Toro!" Rocko: "Ole!" Norbert: "Ole!" Stimpy: "OLE!!" / And the epic song ends!

Sniz says: "And lasting a RECORD 90 seconds, Captain Retro has scored a RECORD 100 total points for his team! Team Adversity, you'll have to last for 99 seconds, just to tie up with Team Retro!" Judy gulps nervously and says: "Bull, a little help here?!!!" But the bull SEES Judy's red hair, and he gets MAD!!!! Judy gets on, and Sniz says: "On your mark, get SET--!" But before Fondue can even RING the bell, Judy says: "WHOA!!!!" Sniz says: "I didn't say go!" General Barracuda says: "Just start the timer!" And Sniz quickly does this! Judy screams: "WHOA!!!! WHOA!!!! WHOA!!!! WHOA!!!! YIKES!!!!" And the bull THROWS Judy off after just nine seconds!!!! Sniz says: "That has got to BLOW for Team Adversity! With just ten points, Team Adversity IS in last place again! And you will be eliminating TWO this time! Take some time, and figure out which two it will be!"

(Confessional) Stanley groans and says: "This is the WORST set-back our team has EVER faced so far!!!! We're falling SO far behind the other teams! How will we ever recover?" Dib groans and says: "It's official! Today is the WORST day of my entire LIFE so far! And now that I have the same life-span as Zim, that life is going to last for a LONG time!" / Judy exclaims, over-dramatically: "I have FAILED Roger! I have FAILED Patty! I have FAILED Doug!!!! This is how the reign of the great Judy Funny ends, not with a bang, not with a whimper, but with a THROW!!!! Adieu, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow!!!!" Judy pretends to faint, but she quickly gets back up and says: "That scene ought to get me the Academy Award for SURE!!!!" / Randolph says: "As far as I'm concerned, it's all over except the shouting!" / Dog shouts: "Hi CAT!!!! I always WANTED to say that on this show!" (End Confessional) At the elimination ceremony, Team Adversity is facing yet another elimination ceremony! Sniz says: "Team Adversity, what a slipshod performance you had today! You messed up pretty BIG today, both in the Mexican cook-off, AND the Bull Rodeo! Do you have any explanation for the abysmal display?!"

Wally says: "Truthfully, I don't think it's fair to place any of the blame on any one individual. In a way, we all contributed to the Trojan Enchilada not turning out as planned, and that in itself probably contributed to Judy's performance." Sniz says: "While your honesty IS refreshing, you still have to decide which two contestants you're going to send off tonight! The time has come, to vote!" (Confessional)

Wally stamps the passports of Dib and Judy. Wally says: "I don't want to have to do this, but you two DID blow it worse than the rest of us!" / Stanley crosses the fingers of his left hand, as he nervously stamps the passports of Dib and Judy! Stanley says: "Please don't let me be GONE!" / Otto disgustedly stamps the passports of Dib and Judy, and Otto says: "If I was in charge, this whole mess WOULDN'T be happening!" / Skipper gleefully stamps the passports of Dib and Judy! Skipper says: "A promise is a promise! You two are GONE!" / King Julien stamps the pass-ports of Dib and Judy. King Julien says: "Sorry, but YOUR fashions are O-U-T, OUT!" / Phoebe says: "At least with this vote-off, I will be the undisputed brains AND beauty in THIS team!" And Phoebe stamps the passports of Dib and Judy! / Super Chum stamps the passports of Dib, and Zim! Super Chum says: "This way, if you two leave, at least you'll leave together!" / Randolph stamps the passports of Dib and Judy! Randolph says: "Sorry! I've got no more LOVE for either of you!" / Dog looks carefully, and stamps the passports of Dib, and Zim! Dog says: "Sorry, this just feels like the right move for ME to make!" / Patrick looks nervously, and stamps the passports of Dib and Judy! Patrick says: "I hope I'm RIGHT on this!" / Zim angrily stamps the passports of Patrick and Judy! Zim says: "Take THAT!" / Dib stamps the pass-ports of Judy and Patrick. Dib says: "Get lost!"

(End Confessional) Sniz says: "I've got 13 contestants, but only 11 bags of popcorn! When I call your name, you will receive a bag of popcorn. If you do not receive a bag of popcorn, you must grab the Parachute of Losers, and take the Drop of Shame. Ergo, that means you are out of the contest, and you can never, EVER come back EVER!!!! Wally! Stanley, Otto, Skipper, King Julien, Phoebe, Super Chum, Randolph, Dog, Patrick!" Zim, Dib, and Judy all look at each other nervously, seeing as how they're the only three contestants left! Sniz says: "Contestants, this IS the last bag of popcorn!" Zim sighs and says: "Don't worry, Dib, I had a good run! I know you'll do well." Dib says: "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!" But EVERYONE is surprised when Sniz shouts: "ZIM!!!!" And Zim is surprisingly HIT by his bag of popcorn, as Team Adversity gasps in SHOCK!!!! Sniz says: "Okay!!!! That WAS a shocker!!!! Even I'm shocked, and I KNEW the answer!!!!" Dib asks: "Why me?" Skipper says: "It was YOUR idea to use the Trojan Enchilada, and cook it up even when you had no idea how to do so. You let your team down, big time!" Zim says: "This is so unfair! All Dib tried to do was help his team! And you're voting him off!"

Dib looks at Zim seriously, and Dib says: "Zim, look at me! I have never been more serious to ANYBODY, than I'm being to you right now! But you CAN do this! You have the skills, you have the smarts, you have the abilities, and you never give up; not even when you know that you have absolutely no chance of winning! That's one of the abilities I admire the most about you! No matter the odds, you never give up! That's what you bring to the table! That's why you have to stay and win, for both of us!" Zim chokes up, and actually sheds a tear of silicone! Zim says: "I'll...try!" And Dib, before he leaves, kisses Zim on the face!!!! And Zim surprisingly collapses from the shock! Zim says: "YOU...actually kissed me!" Dib asks: "And did you notice something, Zim?" Zim asks: "What's that?" Dib says: "The world didn't come to an end." Dib and Judy both grab their parachutes. Judy dramatically says: "I must leave you, but I will live on! In your memories, and on the eventual D.V.D. release of this season! Good night, sweet audience, the world is a stage, and I, just a humble player on it! Farewell!" And Dib and Judy both jump out of their plane and open their parachutes, floating to safety! /

Sniz says: "And like that, our roster of contestants is FINALLY down to forty! We have just finished our fifteenth episode, of our 52 episode season! We will return, we will find another fantastic location, and another contestant will be eliminated! And as always, we will have PLENTY of surprises in store for you! It will all happen only here, on Total Cartoon (sings) Global Cruise! OLE!!!!" / Episode Notes: Dib Bitters and Judy Funny both get eliminated with this episode. And with Judy's elimination, all of the representatives from "Doug" have now been eliminated off of the third season of the "Total Cartoon" series! Phoebe becomes the only female left on Team Adversity, while Zim becomes the only representative from "Invader Zim" to remain as a contestant on the season. The episode title is a parody/reference to the movie, "Catch Me If You Can." Featured songs in this episode: "Mexican Radio," and "El Toro!"; a parody of "La Bamba!" /

Personal Notes: The major reason to have Dib Bitters be on a season with Zim, is to show that despite not being overtly stated, that there IS a relationship between Dib and Zim, and they really do care for each other! Dib's major role was to be set up as a potential final three fail win, only to not be able to make it anywhere near that far! But despite his failing, he HAS, in turn, given Zim the incentive to go far! As far as Judy Funny is concerned, she was determined to do LOADS better than she did in her previous performance on the "Total Cartoon" series! But her passion for dramatic flair, turned out to be her OWN undoing! And with Judy's failure, she continues "Doug's" uninterrupted three season losing streak, of being unable to produce a single contestant CAPABLE of getting to the Final Seven! / That's my episode idea for today! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

This is my first time trying to write a new episode with the reformatted website, wish me luck! /

Instead of the usual show opening, fancy C.G.I. words float down, which say: "TOTAL CARTOON GLOBAL CRUISE" make a fancy C.G.I. entrance, followed by the words: "Performance Review!" Clips from previous episodes are shown! /

Patrick says: "You remember me?! SHE REMEMBERS ME!!!! YA-HOO-HOO-HOO-IE!!!!" / Reggie screams: "I can't BELIEVE we LOST to those MORONS!!!!" / Reggie says: "I don't know what's WRONG with me!" Captain Retro says: "I know what's WRONG with you!" And he removes a micro-chip hidden underneath Reggie's hair! / Snaptrap screams: "I'll NEVER survive in San Quintin Prison, they'll chew me up and spit me OUT!!!!" / Haggis angrily says: "You've had this coming for THREE seasons, Treeflower!!" (POW!!!!) / Haggis says: "But--but, I'm FABULOUS!!!! I-I SEIZED the day!!!!" Kaput winks at Haggis deviously! Haggis says: "YOU!!!!" / Everyone shouts: "Old Man Jenkins?!!!" / Otto asks: "Guess who's back?" / Twister angrily says: "Why does the TWISTER keep LOSING, people?!!!" / Tigress angrily says: "You were SUCH an IDIOT!!!! You couldn't even TELL that I was a GIRL!!!!" Twister says: "I said I was SOR--REE!!!!" / Fondue says: "Lil can't stay here. She has to be med evac'd for her own safety." / Patrick says: "I saw Otto and Suzie kiss!" Angelica screams: "You WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" / Otto angrily says: "We were SO over two seasons ago!" / Angelica angrily says: "Suzie, you SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" / Pearl says: "I'll see you at the finale! BYE!!!!" / Guano takes off his mask and says: "Old Man Jenkins!" / Sniz says: "Drop of shame is that way, Treeflower. You can just let yourself out." / Sniz says: "Okay. That was a shocker. Even I'M shocked, and I KNEW the answer!" / Judy says: "I WILL live on in your memories!" / The clips from previous episodes are shown, and the words make a fancy C.G.I. exit off-screen! /

"Performance Review: Funny Diva, Pretty Pearl!" / The episode opens up properly, with Darwin and Eliza once again sitting in green couches! Darwin says: "Welcome to the second Performance Review of this season! Once again, I am Darwin Thornberry, honorary family member to the famous Thornberries, long story!" Eliza says: "And of course, I'm Eliza Thornberry! I plan on being the NEXT Jane Goodall!" Blonda magically poofs in, and once again looks SUPER fabulous!!!! Blonda says: "And I am the TRUE talent for tonight! I am the absolutely gorgeous, absolutely incredible, absolutely astounding...!!!!" Eliza mutters: "Absolutely long-winded!" Blonda finishes: "The one, the only...BLONDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And giant fireworks explode, and glitter and confetti drop everywhere, as big Hollywood type letters spelling "Blonda" are seen behind her! Darwin asks: "A little over the top, don't you think?" Blonda asks: "What do you mean?" Darwin says: "It just seems like a lot of unnecessary build-up, for someone who really isn't that important in the big scheme of things!" Blonda screams: "I am NOT unimportant!!!! I have been in 27 SEASONS of Fairy Drama Hospital!" Eliza says: "According to The Fairly Oddparents, you HAVE been!" Blonda says: "According to EVERYONE! I am a super-mega successful CELEBRITY!!!!" Eliza seriously says: "Only on ONE episode of ONE show! Seriously, how deluded ARE you?! You're living in a fantasy! You're nothing but a glorified bit character, that to MY knowledge, only ACTUALLY appeared in one ACTUAL episode of one show! Even Craig Mammalton has more credibility than YOU do!" Blonda angrily says: "Keep talking like THAT!!!! I can replace YOU with Mila Kunis, as well!" Eliza says: "I would LOVE to see you try, and get fired for violating your contract!" Darwin says: "It's true, no messing with the Performance Review hosts!"

Blonda calms down and says: "Fine! I'll leave you alone, for now!" Darwin says: "And with that out of the way, it's time to introduce our dedicated panel of our most LOYAL fans, the eliminated contestants from season three!" Eliza says: "Jimmy Neutron!" Darwin says: "Fanboy!" Eliza says: "Roger Plotz!" Darwin says: "Patty Mayonnaise!" Eliza says: "And Kitty Katswell!" Darwin says: "And out doing international fan interviews, is Aang, chasing down good stories!" Eliza says: "Before we start our normal show, it's time for our favorite part of the show, the game we like to call, HOT, or NOT!!!!"

Darwin says: "Skipper and King Julien?" Eliza says: "Started off shaky, but it looks like it's improving!" Darwin says: "Keswick and Phoebe?" Eliza says: "It's over, abandoned." Darwin says: "But it looks like Keswick wants to get together with Kitty!" Eliza says: "Speaking of, Dudley and Chameleon!" Darwin says: "Totally came out of left field!" Eliza says: "But very interesting!" Darwin says: "I hope they have a good relationship together!" Eliza says: "Angelica and Otto?" Darwin says: "SO not!!!! Totally OVER!!!!" Eliza says: "But Suzie and Otto? Totally HOT!!!!" Darwin says: "I agree! They're a MUCH better couple together!" Eliza says: "Patrick and Pearl?" Darwin says: "Pearl may be gone, but Patrick's love for Pearl endures!" Eliza says: "Treeflower and Norbert?" Darwin says: "Very much alive, even with the news that Norbert and Daggett are not biological brothers!" Eliza says: "Dib and Zim?" Darwin says: "They finally showed there was something there!" Eliza says: "And finally, Taotie and Kaput!!!!" Darwin laughs and says: "Who are WE kidding?! They are TOTALLY going to betray each other!" / And the game ends!

Jimmy asks: "Who are the interviewed contestants going to be tonight?" Eliza says: "I'm glad you asked! We've got a LOT of eliminated contestants to review this time!" Darwin says: "Haggis McHaggis!" Eliza says: "Twister Rodriguez!" Darwin says: "Lil Deville!" Eliza says: "Pearl Krabs Star!" Darwin says: "The REAL Guano!" Eliza says: "Treeflower Foster Beaver!" Darwin says: "Dib Bitters!" Eliza says: "And Judy Funny!" Roger asks: "Wait!!!! Judy Funny is finally going to be HERE?!!!" Darwin says: "Yes she is." Patty says: "Roger, what is your thoughts about this?" Roger says: "I don't know. She tricked me, in front of an international audience!" Fanboy says: "On live TV, I might add!" Roger says: "I'm really...conflicted about it all." Kitty asks: "What's this segment going to be called?" Eliza says: "A two for one special! We call it, Funny Diva, Pretty Pearl, in honor of our two star interviewers, Pearl and Judy Funny!" Jimmy says: "Wait! I'm confused. Aren't there supposed to be other eliminated contestants that should be interviewed?" Darwin says: "Good observation! As a matter of fact, there WERE supposed to be other interviewers who SHOULD be here; but for obvious reasons, can't be!" Eliza says: "Timmy Turner was found, healed, and has decided to go back to Dimmsdale, in order to be safe from any further...'deterioration' so to speak!" Darwin says: "Otto Rocket was found and brought back into the game!" Eliza says: "Snaptrap was found with an illegal item in his possession! He was taken to jail as a result!" Darwin says: "Skipper was eliminated, but brought back into the competition!" Eliza says: "And finally, Angelica Pickles!"

Patty gasps in shock and says: "No WAY!!!! Angelica Pickles was ELIMINATED?!!! I totally didn't see THAT coming!" Darwin says: "I honestly didn't either, but it happened!" Blonda says: "And even though she won't admit it for herself, I'd be HAPPY to show the panel EXACTLY what happened to her!" Eliza says: "I am curious to know for myself! Show us what happened!" Blonda magically poofs up a screen, and shows a digital presentation. (Clip footage) Blonda says: "Angelica Pickles was the MEANEST contestant in the competition, bar none!" Darwin says: "No argument there!" Blonda says: "Angelica Pickles was determined to get all the WAY to the Final Three this season, by any means necessary!" Eliza says: "But it always seemed that there was one MAJOR obstacle to Angelica Pickles' desire to win!" Blonda says: "And that one major obstacle WAS, Angelica Pickles!" Darwin says: "Some people truly ARE their own worst enemy!" Blonda says: "And that was certainly true of Angelica Pickles! What caused her elimination, is the fact that Angelica Pickles ended up shooting herself in the foot, metaphorically speaking! Once, twice, thrice, and four times would be enough for anybody!" Eliza says: "But it was her FINAL, vile Confessional threatening EVERYBODY, and DEMANDING money from Sniz, that was the fifth, and FINAL, nail in Angelica's coffin! With five strikes against her, when this season is over, Angelica Pickles will be prohibited from EVER appearing on another season of this show EVER again!" (End Clip Footage)

Patty says: "So does that mean we're not going to SEE Angelica Pickles here?" Darwin snickers and says: "Oh, she's HERE!!!! But she's not...exactly...fit for TALKING!!!!" Roger asks: "What do you mean?!!!" Blonda says: "Bada, Bing, bring out Angelica Pickles!!!!" And they wheel out Angelica Pickles on a gurney, as she is COMPLETELY bandaged up, except for her eyes, and is unable to talk, though she STILL tries! Fanboy says: "WHOA!!!!" Jimmy asks: "What happened to her?!" Blonda says: "I've got footage of that, to!" / (Vintage Footage) The footage shows an ancient, Incan, stone brick temple in the Brazilian Jungle. The Jungle tranquility is broken by the sound of Angelica, falling, and STILL screaming: "You SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (CRASH!!!! CRASH!!!! CRASH!!!! CRASH!!!! Objects clatter!!!! / Vintage Footage Ends) Blonda says: "Shame, shame, shame! You REALLY should've tried to pull that parachute cord, instead of wasting your time SCREAMING at Suzie!" Angelica, in futility, screams: "MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!!" Patty laughs and says: "I MUST admit, Angelica, you've NEVER sounded SO nice!!!!" Angelica angrily, and muffled, screams: "MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!!" Jimmy asks: "What did she SAY?!!!"

Blonda says: "I can speak muffled, because I'm bi-lingual in BRAIN-DEAD! And what she said, I can't repeat exactly, because there might be kids watching! However, I can paraphrase what she said! Paraphrasing, she said, 'I HATE that freaking pitch queen Suzie SO much, and when I heal, I am going to take my full wrath of vengeance and SMITE all those creeps DOWN into freaking heck, so they can suffer like the donkeys they are!!!!' Totally paraphrased, of course!" Eliza says: "Of course!" Darwin says: "And with that out of the way, we can FINALLY start interviewing our eliminated contestants!" Eliza says: "Our first contestant won an Oscar for his role in King Lear!" Darwin says: "Not to mention co-starring with fellow contestant Lil Deville in that movie!" Eliza says: "And he made the erroneous mistake of hitting Treeflower, and costing his team a challenge!" Darwin says: "It's Haggis McHaggis!!!!" And Haggis McHaggis walks out to very scattered applause. Haggis sighs and says: "I expected this. I can't say I'm surprised, I didn't handle that situation with Treeflower that well!" Eliza says: "Please, have a seat sir. We won't be hard on you, we just want to hear your side of the story!"

Haggis sighs and says: "I was SO tired of people saying I was boring! It really irritated me! I thought if I could just SHOW people the potential I STILL have, maybe they would SEE that I wasn't boring, that I could BE interesting! I just...made my impact in the wrong sort of way. I was deceived by Kaput, and I'm pretty sure he tricked Treeflower, to! No way she would've made such an erroneous mistake if she had known the truth!" Darwin says: "Well, we'll know for sure once we hear from Treeflower!" Haggis shudders and says: "Oh...she is SO going to let me have it when she gets on!" Eliza says: "Well, she's still not allowed to kill you, she'd be BARRED from future competition if she did that!" Haggis says: "Believe me, there are some things SO much worse than death! I have experienced plenty of examples myself!" Darwin says: "One last question; do you think Stimpy can make the team merge again?" Haggis says: "I have total faith in Stimpy's ability! I believe he can make it far!" Eliza says: "Thank you for your time and patience!" And Haggis takes a seat next to Fanboy! Haggis says: "I feel safer next to you!" Darwin says: "Next up, is a protege of Otto Rocket!" Eliza says: "He knows a lot about extreme sports, but NOT much else!" Darwin says: "Please welcome, Twister Rodriguez!!!!" And Twister skates in on a cool skateboard, does a few spins, and takes a seat on the green couch! Eliza says: "So you're the Twister?!" Twister says: "I would prefer it if you would call me that!" Darwin asks: "Is it true that for past pets, you once had a puppy, AND a walrus?!" Twister says: "I don't so much remember any puppy, but I DEFINITELY remember the walrus!" Eliza says: "You bragged a lot about your mad skills on the show! So I have to wonder, what gives?"

Twister says: "I needed the right type of challenge to showcase my skills! Is it MY fault that I didn't get to see them?! Certainly not! I have what USED to be my team to thank for that!" Darwin says: "What do you think about Otto and Suzie?" Twister says: "Honestly, Otto doesn't stand a chance! But Reggie? I think she can go all the way! I am rooting for HER to win!" Eliza says: "Thank you for your time and patience!" Darwin says: "And before we break, we're going to interview, Dib Bitters!" And Dib Bitters is dragged out by Blonda! Dib says: "That's it?! No build-up?" Blonda says: "We've got a tight schedule, spill it!" Dib says: "I like Zim, I like technology, I'm really smart, and I really hope--!" Blonda says: "EHHH!!!! Sorry, we've got to move on!" And she dumps Dib next to Twister! Dib says: "I wasn't finished!" Blonda rolls her eyes and says: "Trust me, you were WAY finished!" Eliza says: "We'll just PRETEND to ignore that tacky display of rudeness!" Darwin says: "We've got to take a break right now, but we'll be back!" Eliza says: "And we will interview Lil Deville, Pearl Krabs Star, the REAL Guano, Treeflower, and Judy Funny!" Darwin says: "First, some important commercial announcements!" (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

[4EverGreen]

It's time for the second and final part of my latest "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" episode, "Performance Review: Funny Diva, Pretty Pearl!" /

After the commercials end, the episode opens back up on Darwin and Eliza! Eliza says: "Welcome back to the second Performance Review of this season!" Darwin says: "Check it OUT!!!! In terms of fractions, we are 16/52, which when reduced down, is about 8/26, or 4/13 of the way through the season!" Eliza says: "That's about 31.07% of the way through this season!" Darwin says: "It is amazing that despite the length of this season, how fast we're getting through this season!" Blonda slyly says: "Maybe it's because the powers that be, have more enthusiasm for THIS season compared to last season!" Eliza says: "The cast may be big, but there IS a lot of enthusiasm among the contestants!" Blonda says: "And I LOVE enthusiasm! Say, do you think I can create some enthusiasm of my OWN?!" Darwin asks: "Will it be something that we like and/or is appropriate to be shown on TV?!" Blonda says: "Depends on what your definition of 'liking' or 'appropriate' is!" Eliza and Darwin look at each other, and Darwin shakes his head. Eliza says: "I think we'll PASS, Blonda!" Blonda says: "Suit yourself! I WAS thinking about holding a festival!!!!" Darwin asks: "A REAL, TRUE festival?! Not a FAKE festival designed to HURT and/or humiliate people?!" Blonda asks: "Honestly! Would I EVER do that?!!!" Eliza says: "We wouldn't put it PAST you!" Blonda groans and says: "UGHH!!!! I feel SO stifled here!" Darwin asks: "If you don't like it, why don't you go back to Fairy Drama Hospital?!"

Blonda asks: "Are you KIDDING?! This pays more!" Eliza says: "While a festival DOES sound like a good idea, I don't think we have time to film one, even IN our hour long format! We have to get on with interviewing our contestants!" Blonda says: "Remember, I'm here to spice things UP!!!!" Darwin groans and says: "That's about the last thing WE need!" Eliza says: "Anyways, our next interviewed contestant is someone who has been here before, and she's EVEN brought some guests with her!" Darwin says: "Fresh out of her stint from the hospital in St. George, Utah; it's everybody's favorite crazy girl, Lil Deville, and GUESTS!!!!" Lil Deville swings in on a rope from the right, jumps off, and does FOUR backwards flips onto the green couch! Lil says: "WOO-HOO!!!! I am COMPLETELY healed!!!!" Eliza says: "Welcome to the Performance Review! I know you've been here before, but a lot has happened since the last time you've been interviewed! For instance, who are the guests you said you'd be bringing?" Lil says: "Only the best! From season two, I proudly present, Ren Hoek with Ricky and Stimpy Jr.!!!!" And Ren holds the two young kids by his hands, waving to his fans, as he takes a seat with Lil Deville! Ren says: "It is GREAT to be back on here!" Darwin says: "I'm glad you can join us here! Are you upset about not getting a chance to compete this season?" Ren asks: "Are you kidding me? I'd probably just embarrass myself again. I know me too well!"

Eliza says: "Well, it's refreshing to hear some earnest honesty." Ren says: "Besides, I'm happier than I've ever been. I get to help raise two lovely kids! You know, in the entire time since Stimpy and I have been blessed by their presence, I've never lost my temper once?" Darwin says: "That's wonderful, Ren!" Ren says: "Isn't it?! I feel like the pent-up demons inside of me, all disappeared once these two wonderful children came into my life! I get the chance to be a good parent, that my parents never were!" Eliza asks: "You didn't have good parents?" Ren says: "I don't blame THEM for the way they raised me! They just didn't have a good, understanding friend like I did, with Stimpy! He saw the goodness in me even when I couldn't see it myself! I don't know where I would be without his help!" Darwin says: "Stimpy sure brings out the best of people!" Lil says: "Excuse me, I thought you were supposed to interview me?" Eliza says: "Sorry Lil, we just really wanted to know about Ren. Besides, we already KNOW a lot about you, because you are SO interesting!" Lil says: "That IS true!" Darwin says: "Just one question, how far do you two think Stimpy can go this season?!" Ren says: "I have total faith in my soul-mate! He will excel!" Lil says: "I look forward to Stimpy making the team merge again!" Ren says: "And I hope Stimpy gets to see this! Kids, say hi to your daddy, Stimpy!" Stimpy Jr. and Ricky shyly says: "Hi to our daddy, Stimpy!" Ren and Lil hug each other and the kids in a group hug! Ren happily asks: "Aren't they the most precious things ever?!" Eliza says: "They sure are! Take any seat you want!"

Ren, Lil, Stimpy Jr., and Ricky all seat close to Haggis McHaggis! Ren asks: "Haggis, what are you doing here this early?" Haggis looks humiliated and says: "I can't talk about it in the presence of your two kids." Lil says: "Trust me, it's THAT bad!!!!" Ren says: "Question withdrawn!" Darwin says: "Our next contestant is a beautiful beaver lady who doesn't really need an introduction, but we will STILL give her one!" Eliza says: "In this season, she had a REMARKABLY better time as a contestant, and got remarkably further THIS season than in any season prior!" Darwin says: "She even found time to get BUSY with Norbert, and now has two BUNS in her oven, so to speak!" Eliza says: "Even though she had to drop out of the contest this season, we think she did a WONDERFUL job this season!" Darwin says: "Please welcome Treeflower Harmony Fields Foster Beaver!!!!" And Treeflower walks on, wearing a very comfortable, but STILL very beautiful dress! Eliza says: "Welcome to the Performance Review! And I just want to say, your performance this season was very admirable!"

Treeflower says: "Thank you. I wanted to make up for my...less than stellar performances from my first two seasons!" Darwin says: "I think I can safely say, that your hard work paid off! Look at you! You're going to be a mother!" Treeflower says: "I don't even care so much that I had to leave when I did! I composed myself, I didn't lose my cool, and I even got new friendships with a lot of contestants on Team Retro! That might not have happened, had it not been for the fear of what might happen, if I ever lost Norbert!" Eliza says: "You mean, your change happened because you were afraid to lose Norbert?" Treeflower sighs and says: "Prior to this third season, I made a HORRIBLE mistake, and it was SO horrific! It was a MIRACLE that Norbert and Daggett were willing to give me another chance the way they did!" Darwin asks: "What do you mean?" Blonda says: "Just putting it OUT there; perfect TIME to play Truth or Farm-house, Wizard of Oz style!!!!" Eliza shouts: "OUT!!!!" And Blonda angrily flies off!

Treeflower sighs and says: "I was...afraid if Daggett came to our wedding, he'd do something to humiliate us! I wanted it to be perfect! The only way I could ensure that, was if I held my wedding the same day Daggett had his wedding with Bunny! I honestly thought Norbert wouldn't think Daggett's wedding was anything he would want to attend. But Norbert DID care, and he got SO mad! He REALLY let me have it once he found out the truth! I had no idea he COULD get so mad! I guess the casting agency DIDN'T make a mistake by choosing him to be a star of The Angry Beavers! Either I couldn't, or wouldn't admit I was wrong! I stormed off on him, and tried to go back to my mom's! But my mom wasn't there to tell me that I wasn't the one in the wrong! I tried very hard to find SOMEONE who was willing to support MY side, but no one did! Then, when I heard that season three was coming up, I tried desperately to get a ride, but nobody was willing to TAKE me! I got so desperate, I actually ran BACK to Norbert and Daggett, BEGGING for a ride to get onto season three! They let me ride, on the promise that I make up for my transgression against Norbert and Daggett, for purposely planning my wedding on the same day as Daggett's! I had no choice but to agree!" Darwin asks: "Did you?"

Treeflower says: "Obviously, I HAD to! The first chance I had, I arranged for new wedding ceremonies to take place, so Daggett and Bunny could attend Norbert's and mine, and we in turn, could see Daggett's and Bunny's! But even though I did that good deed out of obligation, I became interested in doing more! I wanted to really SEE if a friendship with me and Marlene was possible! Turns out, it WAS!!!! I think that's why I was finally able to get something wonderful for all my troubles! In four more months, I will be a mother!" Darwin says: "That's wonderful!" Treeflower says: "There's just something I really want to say to Norbert, and I guess to the television audience, if I can. Well, not so much say, as sing!" Eliza says: "Well, this IS a season dedicated TO singing! Go ahead!" Treeflower says: "Gladly!" / Genre: 1980's Dance Pop. Sub-Genre: Madonna. Song: "Open Your Heart." Sung by: Treeflower! /

Treeflower: "Watch out! I see you on the street and you walk on by, baby! You make me want to hang my head down and cry! If you gave me half a chance you'd see, my desire burning inside of me! But you choose to look the other way. I've had to work much harder than this, for something I want, don't try to resist me! Open your heart to me, baby. I hold the lock and you hold the key. Open your heart to me, darling! I'll give you love if you, you turn the key! I think that you're afraid to look in my eyes, baby! You look a little sad, boy I wonder why! I follow you around but you can't see, you're too wrapped up in yourself to notice! So you choose to look the other way; well, I've got something to say! Don't try to run, I can keep up with you. Nothing can stop me from trying, you've got to open your heart to me, baby! I hold the lock and you hold the key. Open your heart to me, darling! I'll give you love if you, you turn the key! Open your heart with the key. One is such a lonely number. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Open your heart, I'll make you love me! It's not that hard, if you just turn the key! Don't try to run, I can keep up with you! Nothing can stop me from trying, you've got to open your heart to me, baby! I hold the lock and you hold the key. Open your heart to me, darling! I'll give you love if you, you turn the key! Open your heart with the key. Open your heart, I'll make you love me! It's not that hard, if you just turn the key! Open your heart, I'll make you love me! It's not that hard, if you just turn the key! Open your heart, I'll make you love me! It's not that hard, if you just turn the key!" / And the epic song ends!

Eliza, and the rest of the eliminated contestants clap! Eliza says: "Wonderful performance, Treeflower!" Treeflower says: "You know, I think being pregnant has actually made me a better singer!" Darwin says: "Interesting! We loved your performance, but we DO need you to take a seat, so we can finish interviewing contestants!" Treeflower says: "That's okay. It is so GOOD to be back here!" Treeflower walks to the bleachers, and takes a seat next to Kitty Katswell! Haggis asks: "Wait, all that time UP there and you never even SCREAMED about how I hit you?!" Treeflower says: "I know it wasn't your fault, Kaput tricked you! He tricked me, to! What you did, you did because I made a mistake, and Kaput told me a lie, and set it up so it would send you over the edge!" Haggis says: "WOW! You really calmed down from the past two seasons!" Treeflower says: "Thank you!" Eliza says: "Our next interviewer, technically never PARTICIPATED this season!" Darwin smiles and says: "But once we FINISH with him, he WILL participate!" Eliza says: "Here's the back-story! Blonda?!" Blonda says: "On it!" (Vintage Footage)

Darwin says: "Before this season began, the REAL Guano, switched places with Old Man Jenkins! Actually, it was vice-versa!" Eliza says: "Old Man Jenkins offered the REAL Guano $4,000 if the REAL Guano agreed to let Old Man Jenkins take the REAL Guano's place for the upcoming challenges this season!" Darwin says: "Oddly enough, the REAL Guano agreed to this, because he wanted to see the havoc Old Man Jenkins had in mind!" Eliza says: "The havoc was to mess with Captain Retro's plans of trying to prevent the evil contestants from succeeding in what EVER evil goals they had in mind!" Darwin says: "But those plans all came to an end in the Missouri challenge!" Eliza says: "In a challenge based around telling the truth, Old Man Jenkins, as Guano, REFUSED to admit to any truth, and it was really costing his team!" Darwin says: "But Old Man Jenkins, as Guano was FINALLY found out when he admitted that he wasn't really Guano, he was Old Man Jenkins!" Eliza says: "He was automatically eliminated, for telling the most lies!" (Vintage Footage Ends) Darwin says: "Old Man Jenkins is back in Bikini Bottom, but our special treat for you, is in fact, the REAL Guano!!!!" And the REAL Guano jumps on-stage, expecting to hear ROARING applause! Guano says: "Ta-da!!!!" But all Guano hears is crickets chirping! Ren says: "Lil, stop imitating crickets chirping!" Lil says: "Sorry! I was being FUNNY!!!! Ha-Ha!!!!"

Eliza says: "You really shouldn't be surprised, you let a FRAUD take your place in the competition! What was UP with that?!!!" Guano says: "Okay, when Old Man Jenkins made the proposal to me, I thought to myself, 'I could either put myself through the pain and agony of suffering through a season, only to not even WIN any money, or I could get a guaranteed pay-off of $4,000, and have someone else compete on MY behalf! A win-win!" Darwin sarcastically says: "Uh-huh. And just WHAT would you have done if Old Man Jenkins DIDN'T give you any reward money and kept it all for himself?!" Guano says: "He should consider himself lucky! He never would've even GOTTEN onto a season of the Total Cartoon series if it weren't for me!" Eliza says: "About that, are you aware that YOU violated the contract that YOU signed by letting a fraud take your PLACE?!!!" Guano asks: "What do you mean?" Darwin says: "If you sign the contract agreeing to be on the show, you HAVE to be on the show; you CAN'T have a fraud take your place FOR you, or there will be a PRICE to pay!!!!" Guano scoffs and says: "Big DEAL!!!! How bad could it be?!!!" Eliza smiles and says: "Exactly $4,000!!!!" Guano screams: "AHHH!!!! You can't make me give THAT up!!!! Can you?!!!" Darwin says: "Well, there IS one thing you can do in order to avoid having to give up any money!" Guano panics and nervously says: "Tell me! Whatever I have to do, I'll do it!" Eliza smiles and says: "Appear in this third season of the show, like you SAID you would, and you won't have to give up ANY money!"

Guano sighs and says: "Fine! I'll do it, but no guarantees that I'll LIKE it!" Darwin says: "Blonda, you know what to do!" Blonda says: "Guano, you're getting sent ONTO the Total Cartoon Global Cruise plane!" And Blonda magically poofs Guano away! Darwin asks: "I wonder how long it will be before we see Guano again? Blonda says: "I honestly don't know. I don't have Captain Retro's ability to see multiple futures!" Eliza says: "We'll cross that bridge later!" Darwin says: "Our next guest is one of our STAR interviewers for this Performance Review!" Eliza says: "Biologically General Barracuda's daughter, but still treated like a Princess by Mr. Krabs!" Darwin says: "She is married to Patrick, and gets a $20 weekly allowance, she's Pearl Krabs Barracuda Star!" And Pearl walks out, looking ABSOLUTELY fabulous!!!! Patty says: "Looking good, Pearl!" Pearl says: "Thank you! I WAS over Paris, and I did save up a lot of allowance money, so I went SHOPPING!!!! My new outfits look TOTALLY fab!" Kitty says: "I agree! Any fashion designs for ME there?!" Pearl says: "Sorry, but I didn't pay attention. You'll have to find out for yourself!" Eliza says: "We got some special GUESTS to greet you, as part of your star interviewer status for this Performance Review!" Pearl says: "Goody! Who are they?!" Darwin says: "Craig Mammalton and Larry Lobster Mammalton!!!!" And the happily married couple walk on-stage to loud applause!

And Pearl gives the two of them a hug! Pearl says: "Oh, it is SO good to see you again!" Craig says: "It's good to see you, two. Girly is only one month away from the blessed birth of my children! You want to know something interesting I found out recently?" Pearl asks: "What's that?" Craig says: "Larry, once SERIOUSLY considered having a relationship with Squidward!" Larry SOMEHOW blushes and says: "That was BEFORE he knocked my passion for protein drinks, and acted like a JERK about it! You would think that with HIS history and track record, he wouldn't be so HASTY to make such rash decisions!" Craig says: "His loss, if you ask me!" Eliza says: "Pearl, Larry and Craig are here because they wanted to celebrate you in song, with a VERY popular song!" Pearl says: "Goody! I love popular songs! Although I do wish Patrick was here, he'd love a good song! But I also want him to do well this season! So, you gotta pick what you really want!" Craig asks: "Larry, are you ready for this?!" Larry smiles and says: "You know it! Let's hit IT!!!!" /

Genre: 1980's Heavy Metal. Sub-Genre: Van Halen. Song: "(Oh) Pretty Woman!" Sung by: Larry and Craig! / Craig: "Pretty woman, walking down the street! Pretty woman, the kind I'd like to meet! Pretty woman!" Larry: "I don't believe that; that it could be true! No one could look as good, as you! Mercy!" Craig: "Pretty woman, won't you pardon me? Pretty woman, I couldn't help but see, pretty woman." Larry: "That you look lovely, as can be! Are you lonesome, just like me? RAWR!!!!" Larry and Craig: "Pretty woman, stop a while. Pretty woman, talk a while! Pretty woman, share your smile, with me. Pretty woman, yeah, yeah, yeah! Pretty woman, look my way! Pretty woman, say you'll stay, with me!!!!" Larry: "Cause I need you, I'll treat you right! Come walk with me, be mine tonight!!!!" Craig: "Pretty woman, don't you walk on by! Pretty woman, don't make me cry! Pretty woman!" Larry: "Don't walk away!!!!!!!!!! Okay. If that's the way it must be, okay! I guess I'll go on home, it's LATE! There will be tomorrow night, but WAIT!!!! What do I see?!!!! She's walking back to me!!!!" Craig: "Oh, oh!" Larry: "Pretty woman!" / And the epic song ends!

Pearl claps her flippers, approving of the performance! Pearl says: "That was SO wonderful!" Larry says: "Just looking to please!" Craig says: "I should go back. Girly wants me to be close by for when the children are born." Larry says: "Go on ahead, I'll keep these guys company! Call me!" Craig says: "I will!" And Craig leaves the studio!" Darwin says: "One question for you two, who do you want to win this third season of the Total Cartoon series? Larry says: "Either Patrick or Spongebob, they seem to be FULL of surprises!" Pearl says: "Preferably Patrick! But if he isn't able to, Stanley or Spongebob will do!" Eliza says: "Thank you. Please take a seat on the bleachers!" And Larry and Pearl, both take a seat close to Treeflower! Pearl says: "You're looking good to, Treeflower!" Treeflower says: "Thank you. It's mostly for comfort, I don't want to be chafed." Darwin says: "Last but not least, it's our final interviewed contestant for this performance review!" Eliza says: "Not only is she a REALLY funny individual, her last name is LITERALLY Funny!" Darwin says: "She did a much better job THIS season compared to last season!" Eliza says: "But sadly, she fell short!" Darwin says: "The actress extraordinaire of Bluffington, it's Judy Funny!!!!" Eliza and Darwin both expect her to come out, but she doesn't! Eliza, louder, says: "We SAID, it's JUDY FUNNY!!!!" But Judy Funny STILL doesn't come out! Darwin asks: "What gives?"

Blonda slyly says: "I know the answer for that!" And Blonda poofs up a large TV viewer, which shows the action back-stage! Judy Funny is wearing a paper bag over her head! Eliza says: "Judy, you need to come out! You've got an interview to give!" Judy says: "I'm not coming out!" Darwin asks: "Why ever NOT?!" Judy sniffles and says: "I'm so humiliated by what I did to Roger! He didn't deserve it!" Patty says: "But you STILL did it!" Judy says: "I didn't want our team to LOSE again! I was trying to help our team stay alive!" Patty asks: "Roger, how do you feel about this?" Roger is really contemplative as he says: "I don't know HOW to feel about this! I feel so conflicted!" Eliza says: "Look, nothing bad is going to HAPPEN to you! We promise!" Darwin says: "We just want to hear your side of the story!" Judy sighs and says: "Okay, I'm coming out!" And the TV viewer goes back to displaying the words, "Total Cartoon Global Cruise." Eliza says: "And now, it's actress Judy Funny!!!!" Judy nervously peers outstage, to scattered applause and laughter! Judy says: "Maybe I should put the paper bag over my head." And Blonda LITERALLY drags her over to the green couch, and deposits her there!

Darwin says: "Judy; on the one hand, I'm impressed by you. In terms of contestant viability, you lasted a lot longer THIS season than you did last season! However, I'm not impressed with what you did to Roger!" Judy says: "I didn't want to do it! I was desperate to get my team a win! Besides, I thought if I managed to win the prize money, I'd split it with Roger as an apology. But now, I don't even have that!" Blonda snidely asks: "And do you know who you have to blame for THAT?! YOU!!!! Little Miss Conceited!!!!" Roger surprisingly shouts: "Shut up!!!! You have no right to talk to her like that! You don't know how she was feeling, or how she felt, after what she did! You have no right to criticize! I mean, have YOU ever been in love?!" Blonda says: "I have a healthy love for myself!" Haggis says: "Totally doesn't count! Even I have more sense than that!" Pearl says: "So do I! You need to check yourself before you wreck yourself!" Judy says: "Please! Just give me a chance, and I can tell you how I feel!" Blonda groans and says: "Fine! Let's just get on with this already!" / A montage of Judy, dressed up very fancy, is seen, and she's dancing on a navy battleship, to a VERY popular 1980's hit song! /

Genre: 1980's Dance Pop. Sub-Genre: Cher. Song: "If I Could Turn Back Time." Sung by: Judy Funny with Eliza! / Judy: "If I could turn back time, if I could find a way, I'd take back those words that hurt you, and you'd stay. I don't know why I did the things I did, I don't know why I said the things I said. Love's like a knife it can cut deep inside. Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes. I didn't really mean to hurt you, I didn't want to see you go. I know I made you cry, but baby if I could turn back time; if I could find a way, I'd take back those words that hurt you, and you'd stay. If I could reach the stars, I'd give them all to you! Then you'd love me, love me, like you used to do! If I could turn back time. My world was shattered, I was torn apart, like someone took a knife and drove it deep in my heart. You walked out that door; I swore that I didn't care, but I lost everything darling, then and there! Too strong to tell you I was sorry, too proud to tell you I was wrong. I know that I was blind, and darling if I could turn back time, if I could find a way, I'd take back those words that hurt you, and you'd stay. If I could reach the stars, I'd give them all to you! Then you'd love me, love me, like you used to do! Oh! If I could turn back time, (turn back time), if I could turn back time, (turn back time), if I could turn back time! Whoa, baby! (Instrumental solo)

I didn't really mean to hurt you. I didn't want to see you go. I know I made you cry, but oh!!!! If I could turn back time, if I could find a way, I'd take back those words that hurt you! If I could reach the stars, I'd give them all to you! Then you'd love me, love me, like you used to do! If I could turn back time! (Turn back time!) If I could find a way, then maybe, maybe, maybe you'd stay! (If I could reach the stars!)" / And the epic song ends!

Roger chokes up and cries. Roger runs up to Judy and Roger says: "Oh, I believe you!!!!" And they lovingly hug each other! Blonda says: "Hello! You should be all angry and mad that she deceived you! Hit her! Punch her! Bite her ear off! Let me see some BLOOD!!!!" Judy and Roger pay no attention to Blonda's shouts. Judy says: "Roger, let's never, EVER try to deceive one another EVER again!" And they kiss each other! Blonda groans and says: "UGH!!!! I'm going BACK to Fairy Drama Hospital! There's no question that MY status will be APPRECIATED there!" Darwin says: "And with that, we're all out of time!" Eliza says: "Come back next time! We'll have more eliminated contestants to interview, and more fun in store for all you viewers out there! I'm Eliza!" Darwin says: "And I'm Darwin!" And they both simultaneously say: "And this has been the Performance Review!!!!" The lights dim, and Darwin says: "Jinx! You owe me a soda!" Eliza says: "Darnit!" /

Epilogue: Blonda is waiting for her talent agent to show up, to tell her what the status of her acting role is. Blonda says: "UGH!!!! Such a pathetic display of love, romance, and CARING!!!! BAH!!!! I am a TRUE actress! I don't NEED any of that emotional stuff! I'm interested in one thing and one thing ONLY, following my true passion, that will FINALLY win me a Zappy!" Juandissimo suddenly poof appears and says: "Mi amiga! I have just got some wonderful news! You've FINALLY won a Zappy for your guest appearance roles on Total Cartoon Global Cruise! The audience LOVES your performances! They want more!!!!" Blonda gets an idea and says: "REALLY, huh?!!! Maybe I was too quick to try to ditch those guys! I'm going to go back and tell them it was just a joke!" Jaundissimo says: "I will vouch for you!" And Juandissimo poof disappears! Blonda says: "All right you guys, Blonda is coming BACK to stay!!!!" /

Episode Notes: Ren Hoek, Stimpy Jr., Ricky, and Larry come back to the show (albeit, just for the Performance Reviews.) Meanwhile, Craig Mammalton has a guest appearance on this episode! Susan Blakeslee makes a semi-regular return to this season, this time voicing Blonda. Featured songs in this episode, "Open Your Heart, If I Could Turn Back Time," and "(Oh) Pretty Woman," the last song featured as part of a parody/reference in the episode title! In addition, the episode title is a reference to the hit, 1969 Barbra Streisand movie, "Funny Girl." The Real Guano technically ENTERS into the actual competition of this season with this episode, having technically not COMPETED in the actual season yet! It is revealed that Angelica failed to open up her parachute in time, and with the exception of her eyes, is completely covered up in bandages, unable to move! (Although she STILL tries to talk!) / Personal Notes: No Personal Notes! That's my episode idea for this time! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

I don't know how, but somehow, I accidentally posted the same part of my last episode, TWICE! I fixed it, now. At the very least, I want to get the first part of my next episode of "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" out of the way! Hope you enjoy it! /

Sniz is in the cockpit and says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Global Cruise, 42 contestants on our plane, landed in Cancun, Mexico! The purpose? Cook up a delicious feast for General Barracuda! Some teams, like Team Retro and Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool, did very well! Others, like Team Adversity, did not! And for giving General Barracuda's tongue bad owies, Team Adversity had to devour their OWN dish! OUCH!!!! Then, the teams had to ride a wild bull! Both Captain Retro and Oonski, did very well! But Team Adversity blew it again, as Judy Funny barely lasted nine seconds, before getting thrown off the bull! The elimination was a double elimination, and both Dib Bitters and Judy Funny, had to take the drop of shame. That was a spicy episode! And I'll tell you something else spicy! Someone is back in the competition! Or, more accurately, is entering INTO the competition for the first time! That's because the REAL Guano, in order to having to avoid paying a $4,000 fine, will have to appear in this season of the Total Cartoon series, as he had initially signed in to do! Will he do well this season? That remains to be seen! It's time for another GRAND adventure on the great series, known as Total Cartoon (sings) Global Cruise! Arizona, here we come!" /

"Vacation: Grand Canyon Edition!" / Team Retro is once again enjoying first place, which by now, seems to be second nature for them! Tigress says: "You know the funny thing about winning?" Po asks: "What's that?" Tigress says: "You do it so much, you can actually become BORED by it when there's no worthy competition for you to SQUASH!!!!" Sanjay asks: "Don't tell me you actually WANT the other teams to be competent against us?!" Craig says: "My man raises a point. This is such a GOOD thing! Why try to jinx it?!" Tigress says: "All I'm saying is, that First Place would feel a lot more satisfying, if we actually had to TRY to win it! I NEED a worthy challenge in my life!" Stimpy says: "I could help with that!" Tigress says: "But you're not a warrior!" Stimpy says: "Not like that! I mean, you obviously need help with your anger issues!" Tigress angrily says: "Who SAID that I have ANGER issues?!!! Was it YOU, Po?!!!" Po rolls his eyes and says: "Nobody even NEEDED to say it!" Tigress asks: "Why?!" Po sarcastically says: "Uh...maybe because it's PAINFULLY obvious?!!!" Tigress angrily says: "What's obvious is how much I can kick YOUR butt in a fight re-match!!!!" Po says: "Do you REALLY need another humiliating display of how you're limiting yourself by NOT seeing the inner strength of other people?!" Tigress says: "Real strength DOES come on the inside! My muscles are living proof of that! What more do I NEED?!"

Daggett sarcastically says: "How about some humility?!" Tigress angrily shouts: "WHAT?!!!" Daggett says: "Oh, I'm sorry! Was that too COMPLICATED a request for you?! I'll try to DUMB it DOWN for you!!!! DUH!!!!" Tigress angrily says: "That DOES it!!!!!" And Po GRABS her and keeps her from moving! Tigress angrily says: "Let me at him! Let ME at HIM!!!! I'll tear him LIMB from freaking LIMB!!!!" Norbert says: "You could do that, but what would THAT prove?! And more importantly, what would it get you?! Kicked OUT of the game!!!!" Tigress shouts: "WHAT?!!!" Rocko says: "Sorry, but he does have a point. You are NOT allowed to purposefully HURT another contestant, or you can get hit with penalty votes, remember?!" Tigress protests: "But Po hit me, and HE didn't get struck with penalty votes!" Po says: "I didn't even HURT you! Did I?!" Tigress disgustedly says: "Of course not! But that's BESIDES the point! If I want to prove my point to somebody, I should be able to PROVE it!" Reggie says: "Tigress, you can't ALWAYS solve your problems with brute force!" Tigress asks: "Oh, can't I?" Marlene seriously says: "NO!!!! You can't! If you want to do anywhere NEAR as good as I did LAST season, you need to DROP this superiority complex you have against other contestants, and shape up!" Suzie says: "And just remember; if you CAN'T, you can be the NEXT boot off!"

(Confessional) Tigress angrily says: "OOOH, I just HATE that I have to rely on my team! Do you want to know why the Furious Five DOESN'T do a quicker JOB of defeating the bad guys?!!! It's because Master Shifu won't just let me KILL first and ask questions LATER!!!! Honestly, things would be SO much more efficient if I was the one in charge of the Jade Palace! Things would be SO peaceful, it wouldn't even be FUNNY! I want to DOMINATE this challenge! I just have to STOMACH my joke of a so-called 'team' first! Do you want to know the onl team I NEED?!!! Me, myself, and I, with REASON and PERSUASION of course!" / Sanjay says: "Seriously, Tigress has such a SERIOUS attitude problem! And that problem is, that Tigress has some SERIOUS thrill issues! She just can't control her ability to want to lash out and HIT stuff! She needs how to learn self-control. Otherwise, she will NEVER be happy!" / Stimpy says: "Sheesh! Tigress has a WORSE anger issue management problem than even Ren did! If I'm EVER going to make any progress with her, I need to know how she thinks! But how can I if she won't even discuss her feelings with me? Maybe I should start with something simpler, like getting to know Po! That would probably help me make progress with Tigress! I sure hope it does!" / Daggett says: "Did I mention how MUCH I'm loving this season?! I get to talk smack to the OTHER contestants all I want, and they're not allowed to HIT me, or they can be E-L-I-M-I-N-A-T-E-D! I have NEVER felt so safe!" /

Norbert says: "Personally, I like seeing Daggett getting to take Tigress DOWN a notch, but he REALLY needs to watch it! Tigress is SO action-crazy, she actually might JUST hit Daggett and not even CARE if he's not careful!" / Rocko says: "Tigress is REALLY good in the physical arenas. I mean, SUPER-good! But what good does THAT do us if Tigress tries to tear apart every OTHER contestant who insults her personality?!!! As long as we keep winning challenges, it's not that much of a problem! But if we lose, and SHE loses it, we might have to lose HER; we don't need to have HALF of our team incapacitated by the mood swings of Tigress! WAIT!!!! Mood swings?!!! It COULDN'T be!!!! There's NO way!!!! Is there?!!!" / Marlene says: "I know the look in Tigress' eyes. She's...hiding something! I'm not sure what it is; but unlike Treeflower, she's not handling things the way she should! That's why I'm waiting until AFTER the season! There's no reason to rush things with Captain Retro! Speaking of, I wonder where he is? I'm going to check on him!" / Po nervously says: "I think Tigress and I...might have done something special together! The thing is, it was all Tigress' idea! She wouldn't stop bugging me until I actually...DID it with her! My hands were tied! Literally! Well, I guess Tigress is getting what she wanted, but is that really making her happy? Considering that it's Tigress that I'm talking about? I really don't know!" (End Confessional)

Marlene says: "I need to check on Captain Retro! Has anybody seen Captain Retro?" Robot says: "No, but I do have a message from him!" And Robot hands Marlene a small letter. Marlene reads: "Marlene, meet me in the V.I.P. Lounge. I have something special to show you. Captain Retro!" Norbert says: "Daggett and I can stand guard! Right, Daggett?" Daggett looks at Tigress, and Daggett says: "I agree! Let's go!" Norbert and Daggett guide Marlene to the V.I.P. lounge! Norbert says: "We'll make sure Sniz, Fondue, and General Barracuda don't interfere!" Marlene says: "Thank you!" And Marlene walks in. Marlene asks herself: "So, I wonder where Captain Retro is?" Than suddenly, a bright BLAST of light appears in front of her, and suddenly, Captain Retro appears in front of her, but he's unclothed! Captain Retro says: "I have my new power!!!!" Marlene asks: "WHOA!! What was that?!!!" Captain Retro says: "I needed to think about what power might really come in handy for me, and, it just came to me! I could learn how to become, invisible! It wasn't easy at first! At first, I could only make other objects transparent. Than, make myself transparent. Than, I could make other objects disappear, And finally, I learned how to make myself disappear!" Marlene looks and says: "Captain Retro, you're..." Captain Retro says: "I know, my power isn't EXACTLY perfected yet! I'm not able to make my clothes invisible with me yet! I just wanted to show you what I'm able to accomplish so far!"

Marlene says: "Oh, I wasn't pointing THAT out! I just wanted to say, how EPIC, awesome cool you look!" Captain Retro says: "You really think I look cool?!" Marlene says: "With a body like that, who wouldn't?!" Captain Retro says: "You know, I COULD turn the both of us invisible, so we could smooch in private!" Marlene says: "That would be cool!" Captain Retro turns the both of them invisible, and they begin kissing! (Confessional) Marlene says: "Kissing Captain Retro, is COOL! But kissing Captain Retro while we're BOTH invisible, is even cooler! Unfortunately, he can only make me invisible for as long as he touches me, or I touch him. Still, that's a lot more than OTHER guys can do!" / Captain Retro is still unclothed and says: "Is it really wrong that I think this is a good look for me? I'm totally comfortable with my own body. I have NOTHING to be ashamed about!" (End Confessional) Marlene walks out, and Captain Retro walks out, now clothed. Norbert asks: "What happened in there?!" Marlene, dazed with ecstasy, says: "It's a little hazy at the moment. I'll let you know later!" Captain Retro walks out and says: "We kissed up a storm! Metaphorically speaking!" (Confessional)

Daggett says: "Ever since I found out that Norbert and I aren't biological brothers, I've been wanting a chance to kiss Norbert, and now I can! I know that this is such a GREAT idea!" / Norbert looks around, and unsure, says: "I'm not sure if  kissing Daggett is such a great idea! Not just because it's weird. But more importantly, its based on principle. I don't want to disappoint Treeflower. Sorry, Daggett!" (End Confessional) Meanwhile, Team Adversity, and Team S.R.R.R.C. are stuck in normal class. Skipper sighs and says: "You know what team? I thought that by coming back, our losing would stop for good! But even I'm not good enough to keep us safe. I'm failing you, and I'm SO sorry!" King Julien comforts Skipper, and Julien says: "Skipper, none of us blame you for this situation. I mean, it was MY idea to make the Trojan Enchilada King-sized! There was no way I could've known it would back-fire so badly!" Skipper asks: "You're admitting that you made a mistake?!" King Julien says: "Because I don't want to LOSE you, okay?! Look, I like you, okay?!" Skipper asks: "Like, as a friend?!" King Julien says: "No, I mean, I TOTALLY like, LOVE you!" Skipper says: "You know, I kind of do to." And Skipper gives King Julien another kiss! (Confessional)

Skipper says: "Honestly, it's hard NOT to fall in love with King Julien! He's...regal! And, there's one aspect that I really like about him! He doesn't need to chew up food and regurgitate it to feed our potential children...IF...we can have any!" / King Julien says: "Any time I get to share with Skipper, is really special to me! His feathers, just feel so right, against my fur!" (End Confessional) Stanley says: "We just need to steel our nerves, and double down on our efforts! Since we're down so much, the other teams won't see our come-back coming! This is our chance to shine!" Sniz activates the intercom, and he says: "Attention, contestants, specifically Team Adversity, you've got a special gift waiting for you, when we land in Winslow, Arizona!" Phoebe asks: "A special gift?" Wally says: "It makes you wonder what it is." Randolph says: "Well, any gift we can get right now, would be a good one!" Dog says: "I totally agree! Therefore, I look forward to any gift we get!"

(Confessional) Stanley says: "I'm ready to help my team start winning, and end all our losing! It's got to happen for us! We're Team Adversity! And the thing about adversity, is that you can overcome it! We've got to over-come ours!" / Randolph says: "Spending time with Dog is a nice gift in itself, but if this is something that can help our team, I'm sure I will LOVE it!" / Dog says: "The one thing I know about Winslow, Arizona, is that it's a location mentioned in the song by The Eagles, and The Steve Miller Band! Take It Easy, and Keep On Rocking Me Baby! I don't think we'll sing THOSE songs in this episode, but maybe later!" (End Confessional) The airplane lands in Winslow, Arizona, and only Team Adversity has to step out! Patrick asks: "So, why have we landed here?" Sniz says: "This is where we're picking up your gift! The gift is SO special, we need to pick it up in person, because it IS a person! Actually, we don't know WHAT it is! It's a total mystery!!!!" Super Chum asks: "Is it who I think it is?!" Sniz says: "Maybe! It's, the REAL Guano!!!!" And Guano slides in, hoping to hear EXCITING applause! Guano says: "Ta-da!!!! (Actual crickets are heard chirping) What, no fan-fare?" Zim asks: "Why are YOU here?! Your butt got eliminated!" Guano shakes his head and says: "Uh-uh! You eliminated Old Man JENKINS, remember?!" (Flashback)

Old Man Jenkins takes his Guano mask and says: "Old Man Jenkins!" Sniz says: "Old Man Jenkins, for telling the most lies, you are AUTOMATICALLY eliminated!" (End flashback) Randolph asks: "So, why come here now?" Guano sighs and says: "Because if I DON'T actually compete, I'll have to pay a $4,000 fee for not actually APPEARING on this season, if I DON'T actually appear on this season! So I'm back!" Sniz says: "That means that Guano, the REAL Guano, is now a member of Team Adversity! That means, you now have 12 team-mates! Isn't that cool?!" Skipper says: "In this case, we'll take any additional help we can get!" Stanley says: "See? Things are looking up for us already!" (Confessional) Zim says: "I don't know WHY Guano HAS to come back! Even if he wasn't REALLY eliminated, he was STILL gone in my books! But whatever! If he helps us win challenges, I'll be cool with it! If he doesn't, we'll dump him for good! It's just logic!" / Skipper says: "This is just the start of the GREATEST come-back story in the history of ever! Not counting the Hostess Company for coming BACK from bankruptcy, but that goes without saying!" / Stanley says: "Our team is going to make a come-back, and it is going to be epic! It will be SO cool!" (End Confessional)

Team Adversity gets back on the plane, and Zarbon asks: "Wait. We're not getting off, here?" Sniz says: "Nope! We're going to Sedona, Arizona, to the start of our challenge today! We just had to pick someone up! The REAL Guano is now in the competition!" (Confessional) Zarbon says: "Just because Team Adversity now has another member, doesn't mean that I'm nervous. I mean, our team has a better advantage right now. As long as my team-mates don't do ANYTHING stupid, we will be fine!" (End Confessional) The plane starts going off to Sedona, Arizona. Bulma asks: "So, I wonder what we're going to do now?" (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!) Sniz says: "Attention contestants, that beeping can only mean one thing. It is time to sing a song, all about taking a vacation!" Chameleon says: "I know of a pretty good song we can sing!" Dudley says: "Sounds like a good idea! Let's do it!"

Genre: New Wave. Sub-Genre: 1980's Dance Pop. Song: "Vacation." Sung by: Cast! / Norbert about Treeflower: "Can't seem to get my mind off of you." Daggett: "Back there at home there's nothing to do, oooh!" Stanley: "Now that I'm away, I wish I'd stayed." Stimpy about Lil: "Tomorrow's a day of mine that you won't be in." King Julien about Skipper: "When you looked at me, I should've run." Skipper: "But I thought it was just for fun." Phoebe: "I see I was wrong, and I'm not so strong." Super Chum: "I should've known all along that time would tell." Keswick about Kitty: "A week without you, thought I'd forget." Zarbon about his girlfriend: "Two weeks without you and I still haven't gotten over you yet." Cast: "Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, had to get away! Vacation, meant to be spent alone. Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, had to get away! Vacation, meant to be spent alone." [Instrumental Interlude] Taotie about his former wife: "A week without you, thought I'd forget." Spongebob about Sandy: "Two weeks without you and I still haven't gotten over you yet." Cast: "Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, had to get away!
Vacation, meant to be spent alone. Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, had to get away! Vacation, meant to be spent alone." Captain Retro: "Vacation, all I ever wanted!" Marlene: "Vacation, had to get away!" Cast: "Vacation meant to be spent alone." / And the epic song ends!

Sniz says: "Well done, cast! Soon, we'll be landing in Sedona, Arizona, and we'll start today's challenge off properly! First, some important commercial announcements!" (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

[4EverGreen]

It's time for the second part of my latest "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" episode, "Vacation: Grand Canyon Edition!" / After the commercials finish airing, the plane lands in the destination of Sedona, Arizona! The teams get out, and marvel at the scenery! Captain Retro says: "Wow! It's been almost 20 years since I last visited here, but it still looks so amazing!" Stimpy says: "Cool! You've been here before?" Captain Retro says: "I even have an old photograph to prove it! Caught a picture of a road runner being chased by a coyote! I thought that only happened in cartoons before I saw it!" Marlene says: "This is so amazing! I mean, just look at this place!" Sniz says: "Teams, I know you're all admiring the scenery, but we've got a challenge we need to start!" And the teams focus their attention! Sniz says: "Teams, you are about to experience one of the GREATEST things on Earth!" Marlene shouts: "Christmas in JULY!!!! Except...not Christmas, and it's not July!" Sniz chuckles and says: "Marlene, you are FUNNY! Nope! I'm talking about, the Grand Canyon!!!!" Sway-Sway says: "Legendary Adventure Bread, is it TRUE?!!!" Buhdeuce asks: "We're honestly going to THE Grand Canyon?!!!" Sniz says: "The one and only! Getting there is pretty easy! First, you need to actually GET there, without the aid of the plane! Depending on which team gets there first, will determine which path you take!" Bulma asks: "The path to WHAT, exactly?" Sniz says: "To the Grand Canyon Observation Tower!" Captain Retro says: "I've been there, I know what it looks like!" Rocko says: "I like our odds!" Sniz says: "Whichever team gets to the Grand Canyon Observation Tower first, wins immunity! It's that simple!" Oonski asks: "And does the losing team have to vote someone off?!"

Sniz says: "You are SO right! So, I personally hope it's not YOUR team! But if it is, there's not much I can do about it!" Taotie takes Kaput aside, and Taotie gleefully chuckles: "Kaput, this is our CHANCE to rid ourselves of a very annoying adversary!" Kaput deviously chuckles: "I know, Captain Retro!" Taotie seriously asks: "Are you insane?! He's EXPECTING that! He knows all too well what we COULD do to him; so what we've got to do is NOT do it! Or if we DO actually DO it, make sure he doesn't catch us! I know you want to be SEEN as evil, but this is one instance where we do NOT want to get caught!" Kaput says: "Well then, what do you suggest?" Taotie says: "The rule of chess is simple. In order to get to the King, one must FIRST go through the pawns! A team is only as strong as it's weakest link!" Kaput asks: "Who will we break?" Taotie says: "Craig, obviously! He has no arms or legs! He's the perfect guy to fall FIRST!!!!" Kaput says: "And since Sanjay is SO attached to him, he will go to!" Taotie says: "A potential two for one! I like that!" Kaput says: "Just one question, what if WE lose?! It's better to be prepared and have a scapegoat, than to not BE prepared and be BLINDSIDED!" Taotie says: "Good point! We could always vote off someone inconsequential, like Sway-Sway, and let the OTHERS take the fall!" Kaput snickers and says: "I like the way you think!" Taotie and Kaput simultaneously say: "EVIL alliance FOREVER!!!!" Taotie says: "Jinx! You owe me a soda!" Kaput says: "Darnit!" (Confessional)

Marlene says: "Look, I LIKE Christmas in July, okay?! I mean, it's the MOST wonderful time of the year, so to speak! It's Christmas, but its in the summer! Just like in Australia!" / Rocko says: "The funny thing about Christmas in Australia, it ALWAYS happens during our summer! Needless to say, Santa has a much more casual outfit flying through there!" / Bulma says: "I am TOTALLY going to help get my team to the Grand Canyon Observation Tower first! Not just because I WANT to, but because I can! I've got brains AND beauty! My ability to win is unrivaled!" / Taotie says: "As much as I would like to take Captain Retro down a notch, he still has his team to protect him! Before I can think about tackling him, I need to take out his defenses first! That won't be easy, seeing as how much Team Retro has been dominating! But that will just make CRUSHING Team Retro all the more JOYOUS!!!! I'm going to WIN, Bing Zao! Your father is going to WIN, for YOU!!!!" / Kaput says: "I wish Taotie wouldn't stifle my creative process! I mean, sure it involves a lot of random blasting and destroying, but it's just so FUN!!!! Taotie is just interested in making the process of REMOVING Captain Retro, seem much harder than it HAS to be! Although, he does have ONE point, I can't kill ANYBODY in this competition, no matter how much I want to! And believe me, some contestants, I would really LOVE to see as a crater!" (End Confessional) Team Retro runs to a bus stop, and a green bus just HAPPENS to pull up! Marlene says: "I'll handle this!" The bus opens up, to reveal Filbert!!!! Rocko asks: "Filbert?!" Filbert nervously says: "I took up a part-time job, I want to show my wife, Dr. Hutchison, that I've got ambition!" Marlene, in a sultry manner, asks: "Tell me, is this the BUS-stop for the bus that will get us TO the Grand Canyon?!!!" Filbert nervously says: "I--I--WHOA!!!!" And Filbert FALLS out of his open bus door! Team Retro gets in, and Rocko says: "I guess I'm driving!"

Marlene flirtatiously says: "Thanks for the ride! Bye!!!!" And the door closes, as the bus drives away, leaving Filbert on his back! Filbert says: "Ummm, a little HELP here?!!!" Super Chum flips Filbert back up, and Super Chum says: "Certainly, my good man!" (Confessional) Rocko says: "As busy as I am, it gets easy to forget that life goes on for my friends. But once this season is over, we can definitely play history catch-up!" / Tigress scoffs and asks: "GEEZ, Marlene!!!! Flirt, much?!!!" / Marlene says: "Flirting is a gift of mine. I say sweet, little nothings, make guys think I have the slightest interest in them, and they drop themselves to the ground and let me do what I want!!!!" Than Marlene realizes this might be a HORRIBLE incrimination that could be taken the wrong way! Marlene desperately says: "Which is why I only do it on guys I have NO interest in! NEVER, would I do it, to Captain Retro who I am SO loyal to!!!!" Marlene breathes a sigh of relief and says: "WHEW! Saved it!" (End Confessional) Skipper says: "That's just GREAT!!!! Team Retro is ahead of us again, and the next bus doesn't come for another four hours!" Filbert says: "Well, since Super Chum helped me up, I'll let you in on a little secret!" Wally asks: "What's that?!" Filbert says: "I own a private charter plane, it might get you to the Grand Canyon even faster than the bus!" Patrick eagerly says: "We'll take it!" Phoebe asks: "How much?" Filbert says: "Since you guys helped me, I'll take you there for FREE!!!!" (Confessional)

Wally says: "Once again, karma proves to be it's own reward! We might even finish ahead of Team Retro! That would be SO amazing!" / Super Chum says: "A true super-hero like me, always takes the time to help turtles who are on their back, to get back up again! It's all in a day's work for someone like me!" / Phoebe says: "Living in New York City, it's hard to find people who are that generous! I would've been more cautious, but our team was in a race to not lose in last place again! Besides, Filbert seems harmless! He must be, or he wouldn't have allowed Team Retro to take his bus!" / Patrick says: "Pearl, I am going to avenge you, and go really far this time! I will defend YOUR honor!" (End Confessional) Randolph asks: "Where is the plane?" Dog says: "We're ready to fly!" Filbert pushes a button on a remote control that he's holding, and a small plane propels itself automatically to Team Adversity! Filbert says: "Right there!" Guano says: "Awesome! We're going to the Grand Canyon!" Stanley says: "And with any luck, we WON'T wind up in last place!" Zim says: "We're really thankful to you for this!" Filbert and Team Adversity climb in! Filbert says: "No problem! Buckle up! I didn't have time to check the weather forecast, so we're just going to have to wing it!" Super Chum says: "No worries. If there are any real problems, I can always lend a hand and save the day!" Otto says: "Well, that's encouraging!" (Confessional)

Guano says: "It looks like having to compete on this season won't be so bad after all! What an AWESOME destination for my first challenge! The Grand Canyon! Ozu and Lily are going to be SO jealous!" / Zim says: "Kindness is an emotion not found in most Irkens! But seeing as how Skoodge and I are the only Irkens left, we could probably stand a little kindness, if we want our race to live on in any way! Thankfully, Dib taught me a lot about kindness! It starts from within, the heart! Or...whatever the Irken equivalent of a heart is!" / Super Chum says: "More important than winning, is the safety of my team! I won't let anything BAD happen to ANYBODY if I can help it!" / Otto says: "I'm looking forward to going to the Grand Canyon! Think of the insane TRICKS I can pull there!" (End Confessional) Team Adversity takes off! Monster asks: "What are we going to do now?" Zarbon says: "Well, I can't FLY us there! Technically, I CAN fly, but I don't think I can safely carry you all with me!" Sway-Sway says: "If I had the rocket-van, we would fly SO fast!" Buhdeuce says: "It's true! The rocket-van goes all the way to Mach FIVE!!!!" Oonski seriously asks: "Isn't that a vehicle from Speed Racer?!!!" Sway-Sway shrugs his shoulders and says: "Maybe!" Bulma says: "Don't fret! As USUAL, I've got it ALL under control!" Kaput groans and says: "UGH!!!! Here we GO again with the TALKING!!!!" Bulma smugly says: "As the greatest scientific genius in the ENTIRE world, I make TONS of BRILLIANT machines and devices, so I--." Keswick shouts: "Just get to the POINT!!!!" Bulma groans and says: "Fine! The point is, I have our solution RIGHT here!" Bulma holds up some capsules, throws them to the ground, and they POOF into motorcycles with protective helmets and other protective gear! Dudley says: "That IS cool!" Chameleon says: "And if THEY are cool, that will make US cool by extension!" Harvey asks: "Are they safe?!" Bulma asks: "Does Tien have three eyes?"

Harvey says: "I don't know who that is." Bulma says: "The answer is 'Yes,' to BOTH!!!!" (Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "Apparently, Mach Five isn't just a speed! It's also a vehicle name! Who knew?! I mean, BESIDES Oonski?! And how does HE know?! He's a Viking Beaver!!!!" / Oonski says: "Just because I cruise around in a Viking ship, doesn't mean I'm ignorant to modern technology! I know what is currently trending, and what isn't! But Viking ships WILL make a come-back someday! Mark my words!" / Bulma pouts, and bitterly says: "I HATE it when someone interrupts me when I'm celebrating MY genius!" / Keswick groans, and says: "UGH!!!! I can't believe I once thought she was the prettiest woman on the face of this Earth! What good is beauty if you don't have any humility?! Kitty, YOU are now officially the prettiest woman on the face of this Earth, bar none!" / Chameleon says: "I've always wanted to ride a cool motorcycle, especially with friends! And now I can! And even better, we are going to the Grand Canyon! It's like having a home-field advantage! And you know, if I'm lucky, I might even be able to squeeze in a date with Dudley! He is SO fluffy and kind! And he makes me laugh! I love a good laugh!" / Dudley says: "I'm looking forward to getting to the Grand Canyon! And once we get there, I'm going to see if I can fit in a date with the Chameleon! It's time I got to know him on a personal level! I got to know what he likes!" / Harvey says: "Three eyes, SO cool! Why don't I ever see anybody with three eyes where I live?! Maybe it's some sort of meditation thing. Of course, I hope that three eyes isn't the ONLY cool thing about Tien! I've got to learn more about him, just because he sounds so interesting!" (End Confessional)

And with that, the three teams race towards the Grand Canyon! The action focuses first on Team Retro, cruising along on highway 64 towards the Grand Canyon! Stimpy says: "Rocko, you are such a great driver, and we're making good time!" Rocko says: "Marlene, maybe we shouldn't have left Filbert there in Arizona!" Marlene scoffs and says: "PLEASE!!!! We don't need someone driving ten miles an hour to slow US down, we want to actually WIN this thing!" Tigress groans and says: "Another BORING win?!!! That's SO boring!!!! Where's the excitement that I WANT in this show?!!!" And then suddenly, Team Adversity comes soaring from behind them, and over the megaphone of the plane, Filbert shouts: "Team Retro, this is for DITCHING me in Sedona, Arizona! Let's see how you like me NOW!!!!" And Filbert's plane soars up to 40 miles per hour speed, forcing Team Retro to speed faster to 44 miles per hour! Suzie asks: "So, Marlene, we don't need anyone like WHO driving ten miles an hour?!!!" Marlene protests: "How was I supposed to know he OWNED a private plane?! And that he could actually DRIVE fast?!" Reggie asks: "Maybe by getting the time to know HIM?!!!" Daggett says: "We're going to get BUZZED by that PLANE if we don't move it! Speed UP!!!!" Rocko says: "I'm NO hot-rod! I ALWAYS obey the speed-limit!" Robot says: "But the SPEED limit is 55 miles per hour! Did you HEAR that?! We're ALLOWED to go 11 miles faster!" Rocko says: "We are FINE!!!!" Marlene SCREAMS: "MOVE!!!!" And Marlene takes the WHEEL, and FLOORS it!!!! In the sudden speed, the bus gets bumpy! Spongebob says: "I've heard of FLOORING it, but this is RIDICULOUS!!!!" Globitha asks: "Do you even HAVE a license?!!!" Marlene quickly holds up a drivers license, that says: "Otter, Marlene A. Age 18, Height 4 feet, eight inches, weight, Not on Your LIFE, eyes brown, hair brown, ethnicity, Asian female otter, New York State license, expires July 2024." Globitha says: "YEP!!!! She DOES have a driver's license!"

(Confessional) Captain Retro says: "And with that, Marlene chalks up another reason as to why I love her! She can REALLY move behind the wheel! Which is good for me, because I don't HAVE a driver's license! I've never actually gotten one! Not that I'm not capable, but I'm FINE with taking public transportation! It's my little way of going green to help out the environment!" / Tigress excitedly says: "Finally!!!! Here's the excitement I've been CRAVING!!!! Maybe I can get Super Chum to rumble with me; I want to show him how much I've IMPROVED!!!!" / Rocko shakes his head and says: "I just KNEW ditching Filbert back there was a bad idea! But NOPE!!!! Tigress and Marlene just WON'T listen to the only guy on THEIR team, who's never HAD a single bad episode of their show, EVER!!!!" / Marlene says: "When you SEE a turtle, you think SLOW!!!! You DON'T think fast!!!! That's like, against the laws of NATURE! Unless you're a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, of course!" / Suzie shakes her head and says: "Marlene, did you learn NOTHING from season 2?! Flirting ALWAYS gets you into trouble! I would've THOUGHT that you had LEARNED that by now!" / Reggie says: "You need to take the TIME to get to know others, and not just assume things!" / Daggett says: "I sure am glad that MARLENE knows how to take initiative! Now if only Norbert could do the same with me! Just...putting it out there!" / Robot says: "If the sign SAYS '55 M.P.H.', shouldn't you feel OBLIGATED to go as close to or matching that speed, without going over, as you possibly can? I know that I would?!" / Globitha says: "That's my Robot! He is a MASTER of observation! And eating bacon, but that goes without saying! I didn't know that Marlene had a Driver's License! They REALLY don't pay attention at some D.M.V.'s, now do they?!" / Spongebob asks: "Why does just about EVERYBODY have a driver's license but ME?!!! It just doesn't seem FAIR!!!!" (End Confessional)

Guano says: "Filbert, they're getting away!!!!" Zim cocks his laser and says: "Not for LONG they're NOT!" Filbert shouts: "Hey! No concealed weapons in the plane!" Zim says: "This doesn't concern you, this is for Team Retro!!!!" Dog shouts: "Are you CRAZY?! You can't just FIRE on another team! There's a PENALTY vote rule! You'd be hit by it!!!!" Zim groans and says: "OOOH!!!! I HATE it when you bring LOGIC into the equation!!!!" Filbert says: "Maybe YOU guys can't hit them, but I can!" Patrick asks: "Should I be excited, or worried?" Stanley says: "At this juncture, I am DEFINITELY worried!" Patrick says: "Good point!" Norbert says: "They're gaining on us! If somebody's going to DO something, they better do it NOW!!!!" Tigress says: "I'm READY for this! I can TAKE them on!!!!" Po says: "Tigress, don't do ANYTHING you're going to REGRET!!!! Remember the Penalty Vote rule?!" Tigress says: "Technically, I won't hurt THEM! I'll just slightly damage their plane, and then they can worry about their OWN health!" And Tigress get's out of the bus THROUGH the ceiling air vent, and Po jumps after her, and grabs her ankles!!!! Tigress says: "Let GO!!!!" Po says: "Tigress, PLEASE!!!!" Stimpy Grabs onto Po's shorts, as Tigress tries to GET out of the bus! Po says: "Violence isn't the an--SWER!!!!" And Stimpy falls backwards, having hold of ONLY Po's shorts! Stimpy says: "Oops!" Tigress, and an unclothed PO, both SCREAM: "AHHH!!!!" As they ACCIDENTALLY bump into the plane, and cause it's fuselage to go off-kilter!!!! Filbert says: "I'm nauseous! I'm nauseous! We're going DOWN!!!!" Skipper shouts: "Glide man, glide!" King Julien says: "We need to GLIDE!!!!" And Po and Tigress continue screaming, as they MANAGE to fall back INTO the bus!!!!

Tigress says: "MAN!!!! What a RUSH!!!!" Po, not even CARING that he is UNCLOTHED, goes up to Tigress, and SCREAMS right in her EAR!!!! Po screams: "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!!!" Tigress asks: "Excuse me?!!!" Po angrily says: "All we are TRYING to do, is teach you a little thing called 'self-control,' but you're making it IMPOSSIBLE for us to DO so!!!!" Tigress says: "I do NOT need any help with my self-control!!!!" Po says: "Apparently, you do! Because unless someone holds you back, you just charge straight ahead into a situation without THINKING!!!!" Tigress seriously says: "NO...ONE...CARES!!!! Did you see that STUPID plane with those STUPID opponents?!!! Did it look like they CARED that they were about to BUZZ us?!!! NO!!!! They DIDN'T!!!! That's why I call BALONEY on the whole idea that, as good guys, we should be 'KIND' and 'GENTLE' and NOT kill our opponents!!!!" Po angrily asks: "Do you REALLY want to go through this again?!!! What you WANTED to do, wasn't SAFE for you, OR them, and you KNOW it?!!! Did you actually WANT them to be hurt?!!!" Tigress says: "So what if I did?!!! Technicality!!!! I can't be penalized by a technicality!!!! The PLANE crashing would have hurt them, not me!!!!" Po says: "That's no excuse!!!! Do you want to know the difference between a good guy and a bad guy?!" Tigress says: "A good guy would be aware that they should feel HUMILIATED?!!!" And Stimpy reluctantly holds up Po's shorts, and Stimpy says: "I'm sorry, I slipped." Po holds his hands up and seriously says: "I am NOT humiliated by THAT!!!! I'm more humiliated by YOU, Tigress!!!!" Tigress gasps and says: "ME?!!! How could you POSSIBLY be humiliated by ME?!!! I am the STRONGEST warrior in all of CHINA!!!!" Po correcting, says: "Second strongest behind me, and you know it! Don't ACT like I didn't actually beat you just because YOU don't like to ADMIT that someone might actually be BETTER at you than something!!!!"

Tigress says: "What's the point of proving anything?! You're not going to fight me again, not right now! You KNOW that I'm not exactly ALONE, anymore!!!!" Po says: "I know, in no small part thanks to me! In a way, you're afraid!" Tigress says: "What do I have to be afraid about?!" Po says: "You're pregnant!!!! With offspring from ME, and you! You HATED that I beat you in that fight, that's why you WANTED me to love you! You knew I wouldn't hurt you if you suddenly became pregnant! But to make doubly sure I wouldn't, you made SURE it was me who did the loving!!!!" Marlene says: "You two went ALL the way?!!!" Tigress asks: "Want to make something of it?" Marlene says: "This just seems so sudden! You just, don't seem like the type of woman who would settle down!" Tigress stops, and asks: "What do you MEAN, 'settle down?'" Po says: "Well, let's think about this LOGICALLY!!!! You wanted me to love you, so that you would become pregnant, so that I wouldn't hurt you. But tell me, what happens once you're no longer pregnant? It only lasts for nine MONTHS you know!!!!" Tigress says: "Well, OBVIOUSLY I would give birth!" Po says: "Yes. And when you do, you're going to have obligations! And you can't and WON'T always be able to dump them on Master Monkey, Crane, Mantis, Shifu, and Viper! There will be times when you will HAVE to stay home, HAVE to take care of things, have to clean up, go to events that you might not be INTERESTED in going to, but you go to them ANYWAYS! And do you want to know why?!" Tigress asks: "Why?!"

Po smiles and says: "Because you don't want our offspring to be disappointed, that YOU didn't show up for something that THEY are doing!!!!" Tigress GASPS in shock, suddenly realizing the predicament she has put herself in! Tigress shouts: "What have I DONE?!!!" Po says: "Well, what you DID, you DID to yourself!!" Tigress yells: "Why didn't you TELL me?!!!" Po says: "I DID tell you! But no matter how much I pointed out the logic, YOU wouldn't listen to reason! You BROUGHT this on yourself, Tigress, and as the father, I have to LIVE with the responsibility, just as much as YOU do! The question is, will you be ABLE to?!"

(Confessional) Tigress hits her head on the wall FOUR times and screams: "NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! Why didn't I LISTEN to Master Shifu?!!! He told me once, he told me a TRILLION, BILLION, MILLION times not to rush ahead without THINKING!!!! But would I LISTEN?! NO!!!! I was Master Tigress!! I ALWAYS KNEW BETTER!!!! I KNEW I was RIGHT!!!! And why didn't I listen about KARMA from Master Crane?! He said the way I behaved, would end up coming back to HAUNT me or REWARD me, depending on my actions! But did I PAY attention?! NO!!!! I was Master Tigress! I ALWAYS knew I could HANDLE anything!!!! And Master Viper...I can't even REMEMBER what Master Viper tried to tell ME, if anything! But if she DID; I obviously didn't listen to that EITHER! And look where it's gotten me! In about eight to nine months, my career is effectively OVER!!!! Good-bye, Master Tigress, hello to Tiger MOM!!!! On the bright side, I finally understand the analogy of that phrase!" / Po, still unclothed, says: "Tigress, this could've been avoided if you listened! But you were just DETERMINED to prove me wrong! Determined to prove EVERYONE wrong! Tell me, was it worth it? Do you feel PROUD of yourself now? Or do you now feel humble, and actually FEEL humility, like you SHOULD'VE felt in the first place?!" / Stimpy shakes his head and says: "When I had my two kids, I didn't really HAVE a choice, General Barracuda caused me to have them, even if he didn't really mean to! But Lil and I, despite being thrust together into the situation, we tackled it head on! And in spite of the hardships, we endure, because we genuinely CARE!!!! But Tigress, does she CARE about all the pain and suffering she has put others through? If she doesn't, I'm sure she's going to, if she isn't already. Heaven knows how HARD this must be for her! To be such a STRONG warrior, and yet have no defense against the one thing she created for herself; mother-hood!" / Marlene says: "I am just so GLAD I decided to wait to have children! But, I honestly feel a LITTLE sorry for Tigress right now!"

(End Confessional) Team Adversity's plane, manages to safely glide, to just four miles away from the Grand Canyon entrance! Wally says: "Sorry about the plane, Filbert." Filbert says: "At least it wasn't your fault." Wally says: "Maybe I can ask Yay-Ok if there's any money left-over from that reward I got. Maybe I can help you with the repair costs." Filbert says: "That would be nice." Skipper says: "Come on, man. We've got to cover a few more miles, before we get to our destination." / At the Grand Canyon entrance, Team Retro arrives first, followed closely behind by Team Adversity, while Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool, revs in behind! Sniz says: "Well, congratulations on FINALLY making it! All that is left, is to GET to the tower!" Bulma screams into Monster's ears, and says: "BRILLIANT idea, taking us on the Route 66 back-way scenic ROUTE to see the Grand Canyon!!!!" Monster says: "I just wanted to see the talking CARS!!!!" Harvey says: "Even I know that's just an animated movie. Except for K.I.T.T. from the ORIGINAL 1980's Knight Rider, there ARE no talking cars!" Dudley starts to ask: "How do you...?" Harvey answers: "My dad owns a bunch of VHS tapes from the 1980's, that was TOTALLY his favorite program!" Heffer says: "We were just wondering!" Sniz says: "So, that means that Team Retro gets the HIGH road/path, and the easiest route to the Observatory! Team Adversity, you get the middle, not quite as easy, but not totally difficult middle path in the Canyon trails! Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool, I hope you like getting really, really, really, WET; because you have to take the rapids upstream to get to the Observatory Tower!" Bulma says: "And this is WHY I should ALWAYS be allowed to navigate!!!!" Dudley rolls his eyes and asks: "Are you ALWAYS right?!!!" Bulma pulls out a GIANT jar of money that reads: "Bulma Is ALWAYS Right!" Bulma says: "According to this jar from all my fellow Z-Fighters, I am!"

(Confessional) Dudley seriously asks: "Bulma has a jar for how often SHE is always right?! Who knew?!" / Bulma says: "The reason why I am so right SO often, is because I always, check, double-check, triple-check, quadruple-check, and sometimes, even quintuple-check my findings! Nine times out of ten, my initial findings are ALWAYS right! But it never hurts to look over EVERY possible angle! That's why NOTHING is going to catch ME off guard!" / Monster shrugs his shoulders and says: "How was I supposed to know that Cars wasn't a documentary?!!! It seemed real to me! I mean, Robot can talk! Why can't cars do the same?!" / Harvey says: "I know that unless you count S.I.R.I., cars can't really talk! But wouldn't it be COOL if they could?!" / Zarbon says: "I'm REALLY glad I'm not attracted to Bulma right now!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "We'll start the final portion of this challenge very soon! But first, some important commercial announcements!" (Commercial Break) I'll break here and stop for now! Enough said, for now!

[4EverGreen]

It's time for the third and FINAL part of my latest "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" episode, "Vacation: Grand Canyon Edition!" / After the commercials finish airing, Team Retro is relaxing, waiting for the final portion of the challenge to start. Marlene says: "Captain Retro, you can read other people's auras, right?" Captain Retro says: "If they are open to me, I can." Marlene says: "Can you tell how Tigress is feeling now?" Captain Retro closes his eyes and concentrates. Captain Retro says: "Very conflicted, very confused. She's never been in a situation where she faced against something she couldn't actually FIGHT against! And...it's very strange." Marlene says: "What's strange?" Captain Retro says: "I don't detect any aura WITHIN Tigress! It's just her!" Marlene says: "What's so strange about that?" Captain Retro says: "When a child starts developing inside of a woman, I can tell, because I can detect their aura, but I sense no other aura besides the aura Tigress is putting out. I don't understand it." Marlene says: "Well, maybe we should leave her alone for a while. Why don't we admire the natural beauty of the Grand Canyon for a while?" Captain Retro says: "I can turn us invisible so no one will see us, and I can use my Nintendo 3DS XL to take pictures! There IS something to be said for SOME new technologies! Let us go."

While Captain Retro and Marlene go off, Tigress is moping on the table bench. Po asks: "Tigress, is there anything I can do for you?" Tigress says: "You did enough! You know that!" Po says: "Tigress, it doesn't matter what you say. I'm not running away from this mistake. That's not the type of guy I am!" Tigress says: "And I'm saying you can forget it! I've NEVER needed anyone's help before, and I don't see why I should start now! I can take care of myself, and anybody else who comes along! You think I don't KNOW what everyone else is saying about me?!!!" Po sarcastically says: "Thanks a LOT, Tigress!" And Po walks off to think some more. Tigress says: "Anytime!" Tigress sighs and walks around, thinking about her situation. Tigress sings: "There are worse things I could do, than go with a boy, or two, even though the neighborhood thinks I'm trashy, and no good, I suppose it could be true. But there are worse things I could do. I could flirt with all the guys. Smile at them and bat my eyes. Press against them when we dance, make them think they stand a chance, then refuse to see it through. That's a thing I'd never do. I could stay home every night, wait around for Mr. Right! Take cold showers every day, and throw my life away, on a dream that won't come true. I could hurt someone like me, out of spite or jealousy. I don't steal, and I don't lie! But I can feel, and I can cry! A fact I'll bet you NEVER knew! But to cry in front of you? That's the WORST thing I could do!" And Tigress sighs and continues walking around.

Captain Retro and Marlene have now turned invisible, and looking at the Grand Canyon from a secluded spot. Captain Retro says: "It's a marvel of nature, isn't it?" Marlene says: "I know it is." Captain Retro says: "Nature is the ultimate sculptor. It may have taken 10 million years, give or take, but look at the results below. Where else can you see so much history exposed in Earth? It really makes you stop and think about things." Marlene says: "And I get to do it with you." Captain Retro says: "I was nervous coming into this, I wasn't sure if I would make any friends. Most of the time, in spite of everything, I feel ordinary. I don't feel like some extra-ordinary Nicktoon!" Marlene says: "Look at Rocko. He's not that extra-ordinary, and look what he's done for himself! He's the star of the greatest Nicktoon series EVER! The only one that has NEVER had a bad episode air EVER!" Captain Retro says: "Marlene, you're right. Maybe I do belong here!" Than suddenly, the two of them feel a strange wind whirl around them, and hear strange humming! Than suddenly, Marlene catches a GLIMPSE of Master Oogway for a second! Marlene shocked, asks: "What was THAT?!!!" Captain Retro says: "What did you see?" Marlene stammers and says: "Look; I, I just...I...I didn't see ANYTHING! Did I?" Captain Retro says: "Let's look again!" They both concentrate, and they see the spirit of Master Oogway, appear fully in front of them, his eyes full of wisdom and knowledge!

Master Oogway says: "Hello, Marlene!" Marlene is more STUNNED than ever and says: "Captain Retro, the turtle spirit is talking to me!" Captain Retro says: "Than you should talk back!" Master Oogway says: "Don't be frightened, young girl." He shows his stick and Master Oogway says: "My bark is WORSE than my bite!" And Marlene sees he is without teeth! Captain Retro says: "Say something!" Marlene asks: "What do you say to a turtle?" Captain Retro says: "Anything you want!" Marlene says: "So, uh..." Master Oogway says: "Come closer, now. You both have good souls, and you're pretty, to!" Marlene says: "Okay, I like him!" Master Oogway says: "I was hoping someone would be able to see me!" Marlene says: "But how CAN we see you?! I've never been able to SEE a spirit before!" Captain Retro says: "I think it's because WE'RE invisible! Since we're invisible, we can see things that most normal beings can't see, including spirits!" Master Oogway says: "You're insight serves you well, Captain Retro." Marlene asks: "Why are you hear?" Master Oogway says: "I am guiding Po and Tigress on their journey. It has never been an accident that they are together in this thing, or why they are facing the dilemma they are facing right now." Captain Retro says: "I was wondering about that. Tigress and Po were so SURE that Tigress was pregnant, but I can't detect an Aura!" Master Oogway says: "That's because they actually detected ME!!!!"

Marlene asks: "You mean, they felt you?!!!" Master Oogway says: "Tigress is a strong warrior, but she has not yet learned humility, or how to be humble. And fighting against her doesn't seem to prove anything. If Tigress thinks that she will LOSE her ability to fight, she may LEARN humility, and be ABLE to become more humble! Po and Tigress are two sides of the same coin, and that coin is designed to work in harmony. Only once they put their differences aside and learn how to work together, will they BOTH be able to reach their full potential, together!" Captain Retro has an epiphany and says: "That's why you made Po the Dragon Warrior, because Tigress needs to be with Po!" Master Oogway says: "An astute observation. Now this is just for you to know, you won't always be able to see me when you turn invisible. As a spirit, I can not always remain on the physical plane. But when I can, you will know it. Captain Retro, you know what my Aura feels like. And Marlene; in time, you to can learn how to detect Auras, and be able to sense my presence, to. Remember, harmony is the way of the universe. It's the way of life." And Master Oogway disappears for good. Marlene says: "Okay, on a scale from 1-10, THAT was absolutely super-natural!" (Confessional)

Marlene says: "Up until now, I've never taken the notion of the super-natural inhabiting the physical realm all that seriously, but the more involved I become with Captain Retro, the more and more I see! This is probably nothing new from Captain Retro, he's probably experienced this himself! But seeing Master Oogway? That was SO awesome! Although, I am conflicted whether or not I should tell Po or Tigress. I mean, I know Tigress needs to LEARN humility, but must she REALLY believe that she's pregnant? Surely, there must be a better way for her how to more humble than that!" / Captain Retro says: "A spirit saved my life once. While I was unconscious, getting the fluids drained out of my body, the spirit of legendary animator William Hanna himself, supported me in limbo, and breathed life back into me! He could tell that there was more I had to accomplish, goals I had to achieve! He saved my life! Ever since then, I've been more in tune with the spiritual realm, and I see more than I have seen before! I hope when this is over, my experience with spirits will help open the way back up, to me having my inter-dimensional travel powers again. That would be SO awesome!!!!" (End Confessional)

Meanwhile, Sway-Sway is busy making himself look fancy, in the reflection of Bulma's Dragon Radar! Sway-Sway says: "I look SO fine!" Bulma says: "Why are you bothering to make yourself look nice?! You know we're going to have to take a kayak ride, pretty soon!" Sway-Sway says: "It's for Jenny Quackles! The loaf of my life, once she sees this on TV, she'll be eager for more of me!" Oonski groans and says: "Jenny Quackles AGAIN?!!! You're obsessed with Jenny Quackles!!!!" Sway-Sway says: "So maybe I am! At least I don't stalk her like YOU stalk your victims!" Oonski says: "Rumors of MY stalking victims are VERY over-exaggerated! Besides, if you LOVE Jenny Quackles SO much, why don't you just ASK her to date you?!" Sway-Sway says: "Oh yeah? Well, don't think I won't!" Oonski chuckles and says: "Oh really? Here's your CHANCE!!!!" Sway-Sway asks: "What are you talking a...bout?!!!" And Oonski reveals Jenny Quackles behind her, but instead of looking like a normal duck, she looks all tall and pretty, with pink hair, and fabulous clothes! Keswick asks: "Wait a minute! THAT'S Jenny Quackles?!!!" Buhdeuce says: "That's how she looks to Sway-Sway. You're finally getting to see her the same way HE does!" Keswick says: "No wonder he's attracted!" Sway-Sway says: "Jenny, you're HERE! I didn't think you would be here!" And suddenly, Jenny speaks English!

Jenny says: "Well, my friends told me that you saved my life, when you took control of the Total Cartoon Global Cruise plane away from General Barracuda! You prevented him from running over me! When I saw the evidence for myself, I had to come and try to find you! It wasn't easy. I had to go through four whole websites before I found the destination of your next challenge location! And...I just wanted to say, that I think it's very romantic the way you went out of the way to save my life!" Sway-Sway blushes and he says: "Jenny, you know I HAD to! The no-head look is just not you! Jenny, I know our 'relationship', if you can call it that, has been a little rocky in the past, but I want to show you how much I've grown. I'm no longer young and stupid! I'm older and wiser, and I'm ready to respect you with the love and admiration you deserve!" Jenny says: "I would be honored by that!" Sway-Sway says: "In that case, Jenny Quackles, would you go out on a date with me, right here, right now?" Jenny says: "Anything for a guy that saves my life!!!!" Sway-Sway unexpectedly turns into a 16-bit rocket and screams: "YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She wants to go on a DATE with me! Bonus level!!!!!"

(Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "Statistically speaking, Sway-Sway was bound to get date status with Jenny sooner or later. I'm just amazed that he finally has it!" / Oonski says: "I told him to ask her because I thought he'd choke! I didn't think he'd actually DO it! You think you KNOW a Breadwinner!" / Sway-Sway says: "For so long, I've wanted a chance to go on a date with Jenny Quackles. And now that I've saved her life, now she WANTS me to go on a date with her! I will finally show her that my love is for real! We are going to have SUCH a blast!" (End Confessional) Sway-Sway says: "Want to go to the local restaurant? We can get a good view of the Canyon from there." Jenny says: "That sounds lovely!" Sniz suddenly announces: "Teams, get over to the starting area!" Keswick, worried, says: "Sway-Sway, are you SURE you want to do this now?" Sway-Sway says: "Why don't YOU go on ahead? I'll catch up!" Dudley says: "Suit yourself!" Chameleon says: "I wish WE could go on a date together!" Dudley says: "Don't worry about it, I'll take you on a date later!" Chameleon happily says: "That sounds like it will be SO fun!"

(Confessional) Keswick says: "Personally, I think Sway-Sway needs to straighten out his priorities! But whatever. If he wants to blow his chance for winning up to $44.44 million, that's his choice, not mine." / Chameleon says: "Even if we can't go on a date right now, at least we can get to know each other!" / Dudley says: "I want to prove myself to T.U.F.F., and Chameleon. If I'm going to do that, I have to try to win one of the prizes with money attached to it! That is my most important mission right now!" (End Confessional) Taotie starts mocking Sway-Sway and says: "Isn't he such a GIRLY man, Kaput?!" Kaput snickers and says: "I'll say!" Taotie says: "In FACT, you might even say THAT dude looks like a LADY!!!!"

Genre: Hard Rock. Sub-Genre: Aerosmith. Song: Dude Looks Like a Lady!" Sung by: Taotie and Kaput! / Taotie: "That, that dude looks like a lady! That, that dude looks like a lady! That, that dude looks like a lady! That, that dude looks like a lady!" Kaput: "Cruise into a bar on the shore. Her picture graced the grime on the door. She's a long lost love at first bite. Baby, maybe she's wrong." Taotie: "But he knows SHE'S all right, that's right!" Kaput: "That, that. That, that." Taotie: "Back stage we're having the time, of our lives until somebody says, 'forgive me if I seem out of line.' Then she whips out her gun and tries to blow me away!" Kaput: "That, that dude looks like a lady! That, that dude looks like a lady! That, that dude looks like a lady! That, that dude looks like a lady!" Taotie: "Never judge a book by it's cover, or who you gonna love by your lover. Saying love puts me wise to her love in disguise. She had the body of a Venus; lord, imagine my surprise!" Kaput: "That, that dude looks like a lady! That, that dude looks like a lady! That, that dude looks like a lady! That, that dude looks like a lady!" Kaput and Taotie: "So baby let me follow you down. (Let me take a peek dear.) Baby let me follow you down. (Do me, do me, do me all night!) Baby let me follow you down. (Turn the other cheek, dear.) Baby let me follow you down. (Do me, do me, do me, do me!)" (Instrumental solo)

Taotie: "Ooh, what a funky lady! Ooh, she like it, like it, like it, like that! Ooh, he was a lady!" Kaput: "That, that dude looks like a lady! That, that dude looks like a lady! That, that dude looks like a lady! That, that dude looks like a lady!" Taotie: "That, that dude looks like a lady! That, that dude looks like a lady! That, that dude looks like a lady! That, that dude looks like a lady!" Taotie and Kaput: "Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady! Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady! Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady! Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady!" / And their epic song ends. Oonski says: "Are you guys going to continue making fun of Sway-Sway, or are we going to try to win this thing?!" Taotie says: "Keep your fur on, we're coming! What a worry wart!" Kaput says: "You said it!" / The three teams (minus Sway-Sway) are gathered at the starting line. Sniz says: "From here, it's about 2 miles to the Grand Canyon Observation Tower. Only the team that gets there first will get first place bragging rights! The team that gets there last, will find one of there own eliminated! And remember, teams MUST stay on the path assigned to them! So no cutting corners!" Stimpy says: "You don't have to worry about that from OUR team!" Sniz says: "I wasn't referring to you! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" And the three teams begin making their way to the Grand Canyon Observation Tower! The action focuses first on Team Retro!

Craig asks: "How long will it take us to get there?" Reggie says: "The average person can run two miles in about an hour. Therefore, we should get there in about an hour or less." Sanjay says: "IF all goes well!" Rocko says: "I don't see why it wouldn't!" Norbert looks behind them and says: "I think I know of one way it might NOT go well!" And Daggett looks, and sees that Tigress isn't running! Daggett asks: "Is she BROKEN or something?!!! She's usually running like 60 miles per hour, and it's like, she's all mopey-dopey or something! What gives?!" Suzie says: "With Tigress and her 'condition,' she's depressed and moody; hence the reason why she isn't up to par!" Po asks: "Come on, Tigress, where's that fighting spirit of yours?!" Tigress asks: "What's the point? It's all POINTLESS! I'll never be able to FIGHT again!!!!" Marlene groans and says: "Captain Retro, I can't LIVE with this! She HAS to know!" Captain Retro says: "You are free to take your fate into your own hands. I trust that you've thought the possibilities over carefully, and you are ready for any outcome." Marlene says: "I am." Marlene goes back to Tigress and Po, and Marlene says: "You two HAVE to know something!" Po asks: "What is it?" Marlene says: "Captain Retro can turn me and himself invisible, long story; but anyways, when we were invisible, we SAW Master Oogway's spirit!!!!" Po says: "I've been seeing him in my dreams! I KNEW he was still in the physical realm somehow!" Tigress asks: "What does that have to do with anything?"

Marlene says: "Don't you see? Tigress is NOT pregnant!!!! You just felt Master Oogway's presence!" Tigress asks: "You mean, Master Oogway has been giving me the feels?!!! Why?!!!" Marlene says: "Tigress, haven't you been feeling anything, especially when you thought that your ability to fight was going to be lost to you? You know how you've been feeling sad and depressed? What are you taking from that?" Tigress says: "Well, I think, that maybe it's not enough for me to be strong, I also have to be smart. And if I EVER look for my hearts desire again, I won't look any further than my dear friend Po. Even if I can't see it, I've never really ever lost what I want out of life. Is that right?" Marlene says: "I think that's what Master Oogway would want you to learn." Tigress sighs and says: "Po, I am SO sorry for the way I've treated you, and everyone else on this show!" Po hugs Tigress, and he says: "Don't worry Tigress, everything's going to be all right now. You know, it's kind of sad that we aren't going to have children. But...maybe we could have children, someday." Tigress says: "And next time, I'll make sure it's something you want! It's time for us to win this! Spongebob!!!! Let's do the sponge-stretch, Tiger speed maneuver again!" Spongebob says: "You've got it!" Spongebob stretches himself, and wraps himself TIGHT around the other contestants, and Tigress grabs them! Tigress says: "Let's DO this!!!!" And Tigress quickly speeds off to the Grand Canyon Observation Tower, with lightning speed!

(Confessional) Daggett says: "You know; maybe I've been too condescending to Tigress. I mean, I was trying to be funny, but I don't want to be funny at the expense of another person's feelings. I mean, Tigress ISN'T a person per say, but that's besides the point! I'll discuss this with Norbert, later!" / Captain Retro says: "I'm proud of Marlene! It's not always easy to follow your own path, but Marlene forged ahead, took a risk, and it paid off for her! Not only does Tigress have her fighting spirit back, but she seems more at peace with Po and everyone else now! Marlene, you did good!" / Po says: "So this is what Master Oogway meant when he said that he would show Tigress the way. I didn't really understand what that meant, now I do! Only Master Oogway could've taught Tigress how to feel humility!" / Marlene says: "I think my instincts are getting better. Last season, I would've TOTALLY made the wrong call in a situation like that! But, I feel a lot wiser this season, and I can see things more clearly! I see why it is so important to LOOK before you leap! And now, I think Tigress has learned that lesson as well!" / Tigress sighs with relief and says: "I have never felt SO emancipated in all my life! I guess what Master Monkey told me was true; sometimes, you don't know what you've got until it's gone. Faced with the prospect of not being able to fight, that was the scariest thing I have ever felt in my life! I don't EVER want to feel that way again! I'm going to have Po take note of this, and NEVER let me get over-egotistical again! I don't want to suffer a relapse of this incident!" (End Confessional)

The action shifts to Team S.R.R.R.C., as they're rafting up the river! Heffer says: "This is some heavy duty water!" Monster says: "I agree! It's not everyday you get to do something fun!" Keswick says: "Fun for YOU strong guys, maybe! For a guy like me, it's work!" Bulma says: "Less yakking, more paddling!" Harvey asks: "Where's Sway-Sway? He should be here with us by now!" Buhdeuce says: "He's probably still hanging out with Jenny! That's what adults tend to do when they are in LOVE!" / Sway-Sway and Jenny have finished with their lunch, and are about to get on the dance floor in the restaurant! Sway-Sway says: "Jenny, have you ever had an awesome dance before?" Jenny says: "I've NEVER had a dance before!" Sway-Sway gasps in shock and asks: "NEVER?!!!" Jenny says: "I've never met a guy just willing to totally cut loose, and dance with wild abandon!" Sway-Sway says: "Then look no more! I'm that type of guy! D.J., instrumental version of your most rocking song! I'm kicking this, Aerosmith style!!!!"

Genre: Hard Rock. Sub-Genre: Aerosmith. Song: "Rag Doll!" Sung by: Sway-Sway! / During this montage dance scene, Sway-Sway and Jenny have the WILDEST dance session EVER seen! / Sway-Sway: "Rag Doll living in a movie! Hot tramp, daddy's little cutie. You're so fine, they'll never see ya leaving by the back door, man! Hot time, get it while it's easy! Don't mind, come on up and see me! Rag Doll, baby won't you do me like you done before? I'm feeling like a bad boy, mm, just a like a bad boy. I'm ripping up a Rag Doll. Like throwing away an old toy. Some babe's talking real loud, talking all about the new crowd. Try and tell me of an old dream, a new version of the old scene. Speak easy on the grapevine, keep shuffling a shoe shine. Old Tin Lizzy, do it till you're dizzy! Give it all ya got until you're put out of misery! Rag Doll living in a movie! Hot tramp, daddy's little cutie. You're so fine, they'll never see ya leaving by the back door, man! Hot time, get it while it's easy! Don't mind, come on up and see me! Rag Doll, baby won't you do me like you done before? Yes, I'm moving! Yes, I'm moving! Get ready for the big time! Tap dancing on a land mine! Yes, I'm moving! Yes, I'm moving! Old Tin Lizzy, do it till you're dizzy! Give it all ya got until you're put out of misery! Rag Doll living in a movie! Hot tramp, daddy's little cutie! You're so fine, they'll never see ya leaving by the back door, man! Hot time, get it while it's easy! Don't mind, come on up and see me! Rag Doll, baby won't ya do me, baby won't ya do me, baby won't ya do me like you done before? (Instrumental solo)

Yes, I'm moving! Yes, I'm moving! Get ready for the big time! Get crazy on the moon shine! Yes, I'm moving! I'm really moving! Sloe Gin Fizzy, do it till you're dizzy! Give it all ya got until you're put out of misery! Rag Doll living in a movie! Hot tramp, daddy's little cutie. You're so fine, they'll never see ya leaving by the back door, man! Hot time, get it while it's easy! Don't mind, come on up and see me! Rag Doll, baby won't you do me like you done before? Rag Doll living in a movie! Hot tramp, daddy's little cutie. You're so fine, they'll never see ya leaving by the back door, man! Hot time, get it while it's easy! Don't mind, COME on up and SEE me! Rag Doll, baby won't you do me, baby won't you do me, baby won't you do me like you done before?!" / And the epic song ends!

Jenny gasps with excitement and says: "That was AMAZING!!!!" Sway-Sway says: "Glad I could show you a good time!" Jenny says: "You know, you're so daring and adventurous, you don't need to win a contest to prove yourself to me!" Sway-Sway asks: "Do you really mean it?!" Jenny says: "Sure! Even if you quit right now, I won't think ANY less of you!" Sway-Sway says: "Jenny, my heart's for you! Let's see the world together, without the worry of a competition!" Jenny says: "I like that idea!" /

Meanwhile, Sniz is at the Grand Canyon Observation Tower, and he sees Team Retro coming up fast! Sniz says: "And it looks like the first team to finish IS...Team Retro!!!! Not that big of a surprise!!!!" Than, Team Adversity manages to finish! Otto says: "Wow! We actually managed to finish second! I'm impressed, by my own mad skills! But you guys managed to keep up!" Sniz announces: "Team I am super, mega cool, you have super, mega lost! You'll have to eliminate someone!" Sway-Sway shows up in his rocket van, with Jenny Quackles! Buhdeuce shouts: "You and Jenny?!!!" Sway-Sway says: "There's no need to eliminate anybody, because I QUIT!!!! I mean, who needs a competition to see the world?" Jenny and Sway-Sway answer: "Not us!" Sway-Sway says: "Catch you at the finale!!!!" And they zoom off! Bulma asks: "Can he just do that?" Zarbon sighs and says: "Big deal, let him go. We probably would've just voted him off anyways." Sniz says: "Well then, that wraps up another episode. Tune in next time, where we'll be at another exotic location! It will happen on Total Cartoon Global Cruise!" /

Episode Notes: Sway-Sway quits the game with this episode. Captain Retro learns how to turn himself (and anyone who touches him) invisible, but he can only keep that person invisible for as long as they are touching him. Master Oogway's Spirit makes a guest appearance in this episode. Tigress FINALLY learns humility in this episode! Four songs are featured in this episode, "Vacation" (which is also part of the episode title), "There Are Worse Things I Could Do, Dude Looks Like a Lady," and "Rag Doll," this episode TIES "When I Think of You, In Paris" with the most amount of songs heard in a single episode, in this case, four.

Personal Notes: The only thing I want to say about Sway-Sway is that I wanted to show a more mature, more level-headed side to "Breadwinners." I thought that by giving Sway-Sway the gift of finally being able to show Jenny Quackles that he's date material, that he could FINALLY have a happy ending! And with a happy ending, his part in the season came to an end! At least, Sway-Sway got to leave the way he wanted, with the girl he loves! / That's my episode idea for today! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

It's time for another, really HOT episode of "Total Cartoon Global Cruise!" I hope you're ready! /

Sniz is in the cock-pit and says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Global Cruise, we had a lot of interesting developments! First off, Captain Retro revealed to Marlene, that he can make himself, and anyone who touches him, invisible while touching him! COOL!! And Team Adversity, gained a member! The Real Guano! In order to avoid having to pay a $4,000 fine, Guano is now officially in the game! Next, the teams had to make their way from Sedona, Arizona, to the Grand Canyon, from which, they had to get to the Grand Canyon Observation Tower. Team Retro and Team Adversity managed to get to the Grand Canyon just fine, but Team S.R.R.R.C. got sidetracked, especially Sway-Sway! When Sway-Sway saw that Jenny Quackles was finally WILLING to go on a date with him, Sway-Sway decided to abandon the game, and go with the love of his life! Although this was probably a good decision on Sway-Sway's part, seeing as how Team S.R.R.R.C. lost the challenge, while Tigress managed to learn some humility, with a little help from the spirit of Master Oogway! Now we are down to forty contestants! And our travels are going to take us to a country, where food is the spice of life, and there are no shortage of historic cities and landmarks! We are going to the country of Italy! Prepare for a (Italian accent) Spicy-a meatball (normal voice) on this episode of Total Cartoon (sings) Global Cruise! I love this SHOW!!!!" / "Pisa Pizza Panic!" /

Team Retro is once again in first class, only this time, Po and Tigress are passionately kissing each other, in public! Suzie says: "You two are sure a lot more affectionate with each other recently!" Po says: "Of course we are!" Daggett says: "I personally don't understand it. Tigress, you were never THIS passionate to Po before, what gives?" Tigress says: "Near death experience, Daggett. When you nearly lose the one thing that gives meaning to your life, you have nothing left to lose. And the truth of the matter is, Po is the only ally I can truly count on in this game. I know now, that he will never abandon me. So I need to show him that I'm willing to do the same!" Marlene says: "Wow! Seems like you two have finally gotten things patched up with each other!" Stimpy says: "That is SO great!" Craig asks: "Where do you think we'll wind up this time?" Sanjay says: "Does it matter? We'll have a fun time no matter where we land, right?" Craig says: "I'm just kind of nervous, okay? Going into this, with you, I honestly didn't think I'd LAST this long! Look at me! I have no arms, no legs! And in spite of that, I've made it past the second performance review! How often does THAT happen?!" Robot says: "Count yourself lucky that you're on a winning team!" Craig says: "Yeah, but even winning teams can lose, from time to time. And it's been quite some time since our last real loss in that Brazil episode!" Globitha asks: "What are you saying?" Craig says: "I just have this feeling in my gut, that it might not be so easy for us to avoid an elimination ceremony this time! I've learned to trust instincts like that!"

(Confessional) Daggett says: "Tigress calls a pregnancy scare a near-death experience?! Well to her, I guess it might as well be! I'm just glad that she's laying off the Hater-ade, so to speak! Our team will function a lot better if we all like each other!" / Tigress says: "Letting go of my anger, has never been an easy thing for me to do. It's part of my instincts, I don't trust others easily, so I don't tend to open up to others very well. That's why I'm lucky to have Po with me, he makes things so much clearer than they would be otherwise!" / Craig sighs and says: "It's pretty obvious to me that if my team loses, I'm going to be the next boot! I'm just a snake, and Sanjay is my only support! Why would they want to keep around someone with no arms and legs? Even Robot has more support than I do, and his show only lasted ONE season! Things don't look that good for me, prospective wise." / Robot says: "It seems odd to me that Craig would be worried about HIS chances, I'm more surprised at my own! I mean, I honestly don't see myself as Final Five material! The only reason I seem to be doing as well as I am, is because Globitha supports me! And I'm really glad for that! I'm quite knowledgeable, but knowledge will only get me so far. I need to have physical skills, as well. I just hope that when the time comes, I'll be able to keep up!" (End Confessional)

Captain Retro says: "We should just relax! We know worrying about things won't help us, they'll only make things worse!" Rocko says: "What about your ability to see multiple futures? Doesn't that help any?" Captain Retro closes his eyes and says: "Difficult to see what will happen. It always boils down to emotions, and where they will lead us. But lets leave it at this; let us just do the best we can, and if we have to eliminate someone, let's not have any hate or resentment to anyone. Remember, if one of us gets the first place prize, there will be a sixteen way split of $2,777,500!" Spongebob says: "Agreed! Let's just enjoy each others company until then!" (Confessional) Captain Retro says: "Originally, I liked having a clue as to what the future would hold. But now, I'm not so sure! The future has unraveled in ways that I never could've anticipated, and it's turned out so good, for the most part! Why should I spoil it by trying to make things go in a certain way? I guess that's one drawback to others KNOWING that you have certain powers, they expect that you will ALWAYS use them!" / Spongebob says: "On the one hand, I don't want our team to lose. On the other hand, if we DO lose, I'll probably have a better chance of surviving than Craig does, and that just means that I have a better chance to become more relevant than Craig! But in any case, I just hope for the best, but not be naive about any other possibilities!" (End Confessional)

Meanwhile, Team Adversity and Team S.R.R.R.C. are once again in normal class. Taotie says: "Oh, I HATE being back here! Why do WE have to be back here?!" Bulma rolls her eyes and says: "Obviously, it's because we didn't win a challenge, AGAIN!" Taotie says: "You know what I mean! Our team is talented, we shouldn't have to be subjected to this!" Oonski says: "You know I agree with you, but what can we do? I personally don't think Sway-Sway was all that great; but with him gone, we're all going to have to try harder if we want to avoid another elimination ceremony!" Buhdeuce says: "Honestly, I'm conflicted! On the one wing, I'm happy that Sway-Sway is with the love of his life. On the other wing, I feel depressed because I don't have my best bap with me!" Oonski sighs and says: "Buhdeuce, I don't normally do this, but it looks like you need some genuine assistance! How about you join ME, in an alliance?!!!" Buhdeuce gasps and says: "An alliance? A REAL alliance?! One that involves voting together and strategy planning?!" Oonski says: "Sure! I could use an extra hand! You have a lot of untapped potential! Just because Sway-Sway is gone, is no reason that you should let it go to waste! Let's both team up for our mutual benefits! And if we win, you split the prize money with me 50/50, and your half, you can split with Sway-Sway!" Buhdeuce says: "Oonksi, you're pretty clever for a Viking Beaver!" Oonski asks: "You don't think I've made ALL of my successes through sheer brute strength alone, do you?" Buhdeuce says: "In that case, it's time to team up, and l-l-l-level UP!!!!"

(Confessional) Bulma says: "Some contestants on my team are POINTLESS! If they're not even worthy of MY time, I'm not going to bother to use MY brain to try to save them! If they have some strength or any remarkable intelligence, then, I think they are worthy of my help. But if they aren't, I let them fall by the wayside! No point in carrying around the dead weight, if you ask me!" / Taotie says: "So far, all my team has had to face, our losses from contestants who were destined to lose anyways. But the smaller my team gets, the harder it's going to be to keep only the valuable contestants with us! Some of my contestants have actual brains! And while they're not willing to help me and MY brilliant brain, they've GOT to realize that their chances are a lot better with ME, than without! My day is coming closer, with every single challenge!" / Oonski says: "Honestly, I felt bad for the little duck. It's not easy to have the greatest guy in your life, pack his bags and ship off for better things. I had to do that myself, long ago. It's not that I didn't want to settle down and raise a family, but being the best Viking Beaver that I can be, has always been my life's goal! If I win this thing, I can TRULY call myself the best Viking Beaver in the entire world!" / Buhdeuce says: "Personally, I think Oonski's offer is purely strategical! But in this case, it would help me a LOT with my game plan! Now that I don't have Sway-Sway to fall back on, I could use some outside help. And even if it is from Oonski, it's good for me to have it! I might as well, and try to get as much mileage out of this show as I can!" (End Confessional)

Meanwhile, Team Adversity is actually enjoying their position for once! Skipper says: "I think we're in a good spot right now! We dodged an elimination ceremony, and Team S.R.R.R.C. is down a member. I think it's safe to say that we are BACK in the fight!" King Julien says: "That is a VERY astute observation, my feathered friend!" Stanley says: "But let's not overlook Team Retro's strong numbers. Unless they can get knocked down a notch, our probability for over-coming them, doesn't look that good!" Wally says: "Look, I'd like for us to win as much as anybody, but that doesn't mean we have to be mean and nasty about it. We should be good sports about it!" Super Chum says: "Agreed! That's the proper way we should be playing these challenges!" Phoebe says: "And more importantly, we need to stick together! As long as we stay united, it will be harder for the other teams to try to break us apart!" Patrick says: "Our unity will see us through these hardships!" Zim says: "I sure hope so!" (Confessional)

Stanley says: "I need to make a point to the others. Our best chance for getting further in this game, is to first do something about the other teams! I can't just sit back and watch the other teams walk all over us! I have to inspire my team to do well! And if that's all I do, that would be a GREAT contribution! I am pumped up for this upcoming challenge!" / Wally says: "As a Rocket Monkey, it's important I be a good guy, and not stray into the dark areas of being a bad guy! That's why I want to keep a level head about this. Keeping my good guy status means EVERYTHING to me!" / Super Chum says: "Prior to striking out on my own, I never would've viewed myself as great super-hero potential! But despite the many adversities I've gone through, I feel as though I've become VERY good at being a super-hero! It's time for Team Adversity, to make a positive impact!" (End Confessional) Fondue asks: "Come on, you guys! Why can't I make the announcement?!" Sniz says: "You can't say it cool enough, that's why!" General Barracuda asks: "Why do we have Fondue on this season again?" Sniz says: "Emergency reasons, like the thing that happened with Lil! In case something like that happens again, Fondue is very good at helping the injured get back on their feet!" Fondue pouts and says: "I still can't believe that I don't get to announce the next challenge!" Sniz activates the intercom, and makes the announcement! Sniz says: "Attention contestants, are next destination will be a zesty, and potentially spicy treat! We are going to the country of Italy, the city of Pisa, to be precise! Sit back and enjoy the ride!"

Harvey says: "Wow! We're going to Italy! The birthplace of Pizza and the Italian Renaissance! Just think about how much history has been made there!" Monster says: "I'm impressed by your knowledge!" Harvey says: "I read a lot, so knowledge comes with the reading!" Heffer says: "You want to know something interesting? One of my ancestors was responsible for making the Leaning Tower of Pisa, lean to the right instead of the left. It was his idea, to make the Tower look more aesthetic!" Dudley says: "That sounds so cool!" Chameleon says: "And you know what would be cooler? Getting to enjoy Italy together!" Dudley says: "I believe we'll have a good opportunity to do so; Italy is a pretty scenic place!" (Confessional)

Harvey says: "Truthfully, I'm amazed that I've lasted for as long as I have! Fee, Foo, and especially Dade, they were all nervous about my ability to last long in this challenge! But I've defied all their expectations, especially my own! Foo SO owes me $20, he said I wouldn't make it past the first challenge, let alone PAST the second Performance Review! This is the first time I've EVER exceeded my friend's expectations, WITHOUT the help of my friends! I just hope I don't get TOO over confidant about this!" / Heffer says: "If my hunch is right, this is bound to be an EATING competition! I'm very good at eating competition! Nobody can eat 40 rounds at the Chewy Chicken like I can! I feel confidant about my abilities!" / Dudley says: "Chameleon just wants what anyone wants, quality time with somebody he cares for. I want that, to! So if we get some time to enjoy Italy, than that's something worth working for!" / Chameleon says: "It's too bad we're not getting to go to Venice, and enjoy a gondola ride, but Pisa is pretty good, to! I hope we get to eat spaghetti and meatballs. Dudley and I would share a plate, we'd eat the spaghetti, our lips would meet, in a funny, accidental kiss of romance! My dreams of romance might be small, but at least they're mine! That's what's important to me!" (End Confessional)

Daggett asks: "Norbert, what do you think we should do now?" Norbert says: "Well, we won't arrive at Pisa, Italy for another six hours. We might as well take some time to get some valuable rest! We want to be at peak physical performance for whatever comes our way!" Robot says: "Good idea, I can use a little R and R." Globitha asks: "Can I sleep with you, Robot?" Robot says: "I see no reason why not to!" So the three teams get into a comfortable position, and they all drift off to sleep. Suddenly, the contestants ALL start dreaming! Thanks to the magic of the Fairy Godparents, we get to see the contestants are all SOMEHOW sharing the same dream, but Sanjay has turned into a snake!

Sanjay says: "Woah!!!! What is this?!" Craig asks: "Sanjay, you're a snake, to!" Sanjay says: "I heard of pets resembling their owner, but not owner's resembling their pets!" Craig says: "Maybe it's a sign, that we're SUPPOSED to be together!" Sanjay shockingly says: "A SIGN?!!!" Craig says: "If there was a best friends hall of fame, we WOULD be in it! Don't you think so?" Sanjay says: "Of course, I do!" Craig says: "And as far as relationships go, ours is more solid than any other! We can make this dream come true, together! You and me, can show the world that all a guy needs, is the love of his true blue snake soul-mate!" Sanjay says: "I feel so Garden of Eden about this!" Craig asks: "What do you mean?" Sanjay says: "I feel like being with you, the same way a guy would feel just to be alone, with the one guy he cares for more than anything on Earth! I can share ANYTHING with you!" Craig says: "It's ours to dream, we just need to make it a REALITY!!!!" Sanjay sighs, and to his surprise, he morphs BACK into a human, but he's not wearing any clothes! Sanjay says: "I've got my own body back! But, where are my clothes?" Craig says: "This is our dream! Why do we need clothes? Nobody cares what we do in our dreams!" Sanjay says: "You're right!" Craig says: "And unlike the snake in Eden, I will NEVER deceive you!" Sanjay says: "You know, a part of me has always wondered, what would it be like to love a snake? Would it work out between us?" Craig says: "Well, I do know ONE thing!" Sanjay asks: "What's that?" Craig says: "We'll NEVER know for sure, unless we experiment ourselves!"

Sanjay gives into his feelings, and falls around Sanjay, as they jump, run, race around, and keep trying to tackle each other down to the ground! Finally, they relax on the ground, and Craig asks: "Sanjay, are you comfortable with me?" Sanjay says: "I feel more comfortable WITH you! Even when I'm naked, you don't judge me differently!" Craig says: "And you don't with me, even though I am a snake. You just accept me for the way I am!" Sanjay says: "This is our golden opportunity! Us together, let's BOND, and connect as ONE!!!!" Craig says: "Give me ALL you got!!!!" They duck into a dark shrub, and suddenly, loud noises of passionate grunting and groaning can be heard! Unseen, but still heard, Craig says: "Woah!!!! That's a lot of pressure!" Sanjay says: "Ignore the pressure! Does it FEEL all right?!" Craig says: "This REALLY feels SO right!" Sanjay says: "This is SO awesome! Look at what we're doing!" Craig says: "And I'm feeling EVERY inch of it! You just got to PUSH it!" Sanjay says: "I'm pushing as hard as I can!" Craig says: "You can do it! Push harder!" Sanjay grunts and says: "Like THIS?!!!" Craig groans and says: "Come on, give me MORE!!!!" Sanjay groans and says: "I'm giving you ALL I got!!!!" Craig groans and says: "I'm ready!!!! Relax, and...!!!!" (SPRAY!!!!) Craig says: "COME!!!!" Than Sanjay and Craig look up, and see Taotie looking at them DISGUSTEDLY!!!! Taotie asks: "What do YOU two, think you are DOING?!!!" Craig says: "This is PRIVATE, man! This is OUR dream, not yours!"

Taotie says: "Highly unlikely, this is MY dream!" Zarbon flies in and says: "You're all wrong! This is MY dream!" Captain Retro floats in and says: "You're all right! This IS all YOUR dreams, but somehow, it seems that everyone else is IN the same dream!" And the other contestants come into view! Oonski looks at Sanjay and says: "Cover yourself UP!!!!" (RIP!!!!) Oonski tears off his own beard, and gives it to Sanjay! Oonski says: "If you don't mind!" Sanjay says: "Thanks, but this is a dream! Shouldn't I be able to just THINK up some clothes?!" Oonski asks: "Well, why haven't you?!" Sanjay thinks about it and says: "You know, that IS strange!" Sniz's face appears on a monitor and says: "Actually, it's not so strange! I was hoping you would take the time to snooze! This provides a good chance to prepare for the upcoming challenge!" Kaput asks: "How does sleeping provide us a chance to prepare?!" Sniz asks: "Don't you understand it, yet? This is a magical dream, provided by the Fairy Godparents! You're playing by their rules! If you want to come out of it, there's one thing you need to do! (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!) That sound means you have to sing a song! And even though it's your dream, I want you to make it HOT!" Sanjay chuckles sheepishly and says: "That shouldn't be TOO hard, Craig and I are pretty HOT already!"

Genre: Disco. Sub-Genre: Donna Summer. Song: "Hot Stuff!" Sung by: Cast! / Bulma: "Sitting here, eating my heart out, waiting." Zarbon: "Waiting for some lover to call!" Taotie: "Dialed about a thousand numbers lately, almost rang the phone off the wall!" Captain Retro: "Looking for some hot stuff baby, this evening!" Marlene: "I need some hot stuff baby, tonight!" Chameleon: "I want some hot stuff baby, this evening!" Dudley: "Gotta have some hot stuff, gotta have some love tonight!" Daggett: "I need hot stuff!" Norbert: "I want some hot stuff!" Sanjay: "I need some hot stuff!" Globitha: "Looking for a lover who needs another." Robot: "Don't want another night on my own!" Craig: "Wanna share my love with a warm blooded lover,
wanna bring a wild man back home!" Reggie: "Gotta have some hot love baby, this evening!" Rocko: "I need some hot stuff baby, tonight!" Otto: "I want some hot stuff baby, this evening!" Suzie: "Gotta have some loving, gotta have love tonight!" Harvey: "I need hot stuff!" Buhdeuce: "Hot love!" Oonski: "Looking for hot love!"
[Instrumental Interlude] Phoebe: "How's about some hot stuff baby, this evening?" Keswick: "I need some hot stuff baby, tonight!" Kaput: "Looking for my hot stuff baby, this evening!" Spongebob: "I need some hot stuff baby tonight, yeah-yeah!" Stanley: "I want some hot stuff this evening!" Wally: "I want some hot stuff baby, tonight!" Super Chum: "I want some hot stuff baby, this evening!" Zim: "I need some hot stuff baby, tonight!" / The epic song ends, and everyone wakes up!

When Sanjay, Craig, and Oonski wake up, they are VERY shocked! Craig says: "Dude! You're STILL wearing Oonski's beard!" Sanjay says: "And where did my NORMAL clothes go?!!!" Oonski shouts: "My chin is NAKED!!!! Nobody look at it!" Bulma scoffs and says: "PLEASE!!!! Nobody CARES about your beard!" Sniz announces: "Everyone settle down, we are about to make a landing at Pisa, Italy. Buckle up, sit down, and wait until we land! We'll announce today's challenge, after some important commercial announcements!" (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

[4EverGreen]

It's time for the second part of my latest "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" episode, "Pisa Pizza Panic!" I hope you enjoy it! /

After the commercials finish airing, the plane lands at an airport in the city of Pisa, Italy! Tigress asks: "Captain Retro, what's the deal with Sanjay's clothes missing, and Oonski's beard being torn off? Do you think what happened in that dream, actually happened for REAL?!!!" Captain Retro says: "I don't know! My normal methods of trying to uncover the truth, looking into the auras of Taotie and Kaput, are not working for me. As long as they keep their auras shut off to me, I cannot discern for certain if they are behind this deed or not!" Tigress says: "Well, Taotie might be able to block himself from you, but not me! Remember, I have personal history with Taotie! I know what his Aura feels like! I can determine what Taotie knows, and whether or not he's being truthful! Just leave it to me, I'll get the truth out of him!" Captain Retro says: "Remember, don't be too rough on him. Even though he's a villain, we must STILL assume he's innocent until proven guilty. That is what sets us apart from the bad guys!" Tigress says: "Don't worry about it; this is Taotie we're talking about! I can handle him with KID gloves!" Po says: "That's what I like about Tigress! She always has a plan in mind!" (Confessional)

Tigress says: "I always try to have a plan in mind! It's one of the secrets to the many successes I've had in life! I'm 6 time female champion in the Kung Fu Tournaments, I'm the owner of the only Triple Dragon Belt rank in the world, I know 65 AWESOME techniques, and 1 secret one I may have to use as a last resort someday! If somebody's going to get answers from Taotie, it's going to be ME!" / Captain Retro says: "Despite getting beaten constantly, Taotie is NOT one to give up his secrets easily! If it were that simple, I would've done it some time ago! But maybe Tigress has thought of something I haven't. I'm interested to see what she has in mind, so I'll let her play her strategy out and see where it goes. You never know unless you try!" (End Confessional) Taotie and Kaput are talking to each other! Taotie says: "Kaput, we need to use this upcoming challenge, as an opportunity to get rid of an annoying pest on the other team! Got any ides?" Kaput deviously says: "Sabotage!!!!" Taotie groans and says: "Be more ELABORATE than that! What KIND of sabotage?!!!" Kaput says: "I'm not much for details, that's why I've got you!" Taotie says: "I ALWAYS have to come up with the genius PLANS?! You really need to put some more effort into our alliance!"

Tigress hides in the door-way, and listens in on the conversation! Kaput says: "You NEED me around! I'm willing to do the things that you're NOT willing to do for yourself! Who else is willing to sneak around while everyone ELSE is asleep, steal Sanjay's clothes, and rip off Oonski's beard?! ME, that's who! Who was willing to steal Chameleon's suit in an attempt to freeze him in Alaska? ME, that's who! And who tricked Treeflower into royally ticking off Haggis McHaggis, none other than ME, that's who!" Tigress growls and says: "I think I've heard quite ENOUGH!!!!" Taotie shouts: "AHHH!!!! How much did you HEAR of that?!" Tigress says: "Enough to know that you two are hypocrites and LIARS, both of YOU! Captain Retro told me about what you two have been doing, especially Kaput! He already WARNED you not to mess with Team Retro once before, yet you decided to do it anyways! Just wait until I tell SNIZ about this!!!!" Kaput panics and says: "But it wasn't MY idea! Honest, it wasn't! Taotie put me up to EVERYTHING!!!! It was all his idea! He said if I didn't do what he WANTED, he'd give ME the boot! I was just trying to SAVE myself!" Taotie screams: "WHAT?!!!!" Tigress asks: "Taotie, is this TRUE?!!! And don't LIE to me; I've heard your LIES before!" Taotie says: "Depends on what your definition of what exactly COUNTS as a 'lie,' now, doesn't it?!!!"

Tigress asks: "Did you or did you NOT come up with all those sabotaging plans that Kaput just talked about?!" Taotie says: "Chameleon? NO!!!! But of COURSE I came up with the other ideas! No WAY Kaput would be smart enough to do something like THAT on your own!" Tigress smiles and says: "Well in THAT case, I would be happy to teach YOU a lesson!" Taotie asks: "What KIND of a lesson?" / Tigress hauls Taotie outside, and places him, so that he is hanging from his tunic, on a stone spear being held by a stone statue, five feet up in the air! Taotie grunts and says: "UGHH!!!! What kind of a lesson IS this?!!! Get me down!!!!" Tigress says: "It's a little something called 'humility,' courtesy of Master Oogway! Once you've learned humility, TRULY learned humility, I'll come and get you back down!" Taotie struggles and says: "GRRR, let me GO!!!! I've got a CHALLENGE I need to participate in!" Tigress says: "Than you should've thought of that BEFORE you told Kaput to do those evil things!" And Tigress runs away! Taotie screams: "You're supposed to be a GOOD guy! You can't leave me like THIS!!!!" Kaput tries to run past Taotie and Taotie says: "Hold IT!!!!" Kaput screeches to a stop and says: "You noticed me?" Taotie sarcastically says: "Kind of hard NOT to! You put me into this position, now YOU are going to help me DOWN!!!!" Kaput asks: "Why would I do that? You look FUNNY hanging AROUND like that!" Taotie says: "This is NO laughing matter, get me down, NOW!!!!" Kaput says: "All right. I'll stop by AFTER the challenge is over, you over-stuffed diva!" And Kaput continues running away!

Taotie then notices Harvey running by, and Taotie pleads: "WAIT!!" Harvey skids to a stop and asks: "What are YOU doing?!" Taotie says: "I'm not up here by choice! Please! You've got to help me down...uhhh...Hagrid, right?" Harvey says: "That's a character from Harry Potter, I'm HARVEY!" Taotie says: "Right! I KNEW it started with an 'H!' Can you get me down?" Harvey says: "Uhhh...my mom told me that I shouldn't help someone who is evil, and from what I've heard from the others, you're pretty evil. I can't have anything to do with anything revolving around you. Sorry!" And Harvey continues running away, and Taotie shouts: "WAIT!!!!" But his cry is in vain!! Taotie groans and screams: "Doesn't ANYBODY care what I'm SAYING or what I THINK?!!!!" (Confessional) Kaput says: "The only reason I sold Taotie down the river like that, is because I HAVE to keep my own skin safe! I would have told Tigress ANYTHING incriminating about Taotie! I'm sure Taotie would've done the exact same THING if our positions had been reversed! I don't feel any guilt whatsoever for doing what I did! It was purely strategical, of course!" / Harvey says: "Not only is Taotie a villain, he's a pathetic villain! He can't even be bothered to remember my NAME, and I've already outlasted 16 other contestants in 17 episodes so far! I would THINK that Taotie could've at LEAST given a better EFFORT at trying to remember my name; I do plan on being a Nicktoon legend someday, and this is the perfect time for me to start!" (End Confessional)

The contestants (minus Taotie), arrive at the starting line for today's challenge! Sniz asks: "Excuse me, aren't we missing somebody?" Tigress, Kaput, and Harvey 'pretend' to look for somebody, knowing that Sniz means Taotie. But Tigress shrugs her shoulders and says: "Not that I know of." Sniz says: "It doesn't matter! Today's challenge is a DOUBLE barreled blow-out of spices and flavor!!!! Emphasis on the DOUBLE!!!! Do you want to know WHY?! Because today is a DOUBLE elimination, but with a TWIST!!!!" Spongebob asks: "A twist?" Sniz says: "In this challenge, both the last place team AND the second place team will have to have one of their contestants eliminated, making winning first place all the more crucial! And that's not all! As a reward, the first place team will get to determine who gets sent packing from the second place team! If I were you, I'd make some serious strategical thoughts right about now!" Craig shivers and says: "Oooh, not GOOD! Two teams will face the chopping block tonight, that means there's a 66% chance it could be us! And what if we wind up in second place?! I don't want to lose Sanjay!" Sanjay says: "Craig, it's not going to COME to that! Right, Captain Retro?" Captain Retro says: "Honestly, I don't know! Team Adversity will be trying harder than EVER to avoid an elimination ceremony today. They want to even the odds, and put their team into a better situation. But perhaps, I might be able to arrange a deal with Team Adversity." Stimpy asks: "What kind of a deal?" Captain Retro says: "A deal that will benefit our teams, no matter who wins or loses!"

And Captain Retro goes off to talk to Team Adversity! Suzie asks: "I wonder what he has in mind?" Reggie says: "Knowing Captain Retro, it will probably be SOMETHING good!" Captain Retro goes to Wally, and Captain Retro says: "Wally, can I talk to you?" Wally says: "Of course you can, you WERE the one who allowed me to win the chest that helped out my buddy Yay-Ok." Captain Retro says: "Here's the thing. I know you're not going to make it easy for us to win 1st place. I wouldn't expect that from you. Likewise, we're not going to make it easy for you to win 1st place, either! However, I think we can BOTH agree that we don't want Team S.R.R.R.C. to win 1st place, so how about we make a deal with each other?" Super Chum says: "We're listening." Captain Retro says: "A deal to help the other team, no matter who wins, or loses. For instance, if Team Retro wins and you win second place, we'll eliminate the weakest member of your team, so you can become a stronger team. And likewise, if Team Adversity wins and our team gets second place, you'll eliminate the weakest member of our team, so our team can become stronger!" Zim asks: "And the reason we would agree with you is WHAT?!!!"

Captain Retro seriously asks: "Do you honestly trust certain contestants named Taotie and Kaput to keep their word with you?" Randolph says: "I certainly don't!" Dog says: "Me neither!" Phoebe says: "You know you're putting a lot of faith in us. After all, you have no guarantee we'll keep OUR end of the bargain, and vote off the weakest contestant of YOUR team!" Captain Retro says: "That much is true. However, I can read ALL of your Auras! None of you will go back on your word; you all know the concept of Karma too well!" Patrick says: "Oh, he's GOOD!" Captain Retro says: "And you know we're good for our word. So what do you say, a truce for this challenge?" Wally puts his right hand out, and they shake! Wally says: "A truce!!!!" Captain Retro says: "Thank you! And if the three teams ever become two, and you're still around, I'll make sure to put YOU in my team!" And Captain Retro goes back to his team! Stanley says: "Wow! Captain Retro thinks highly of you!" Skipper says: "Well, statistically speaking, somebody was BOUND to!"

(Confessional) Wally says: "I have a good feeling about this deal! This way, both of our teams have a 66% chance of coming out better AFTER this challenge occurs, no matter what the results! Either way, our teams will be stronger! And I certainly like my odds better with Team Retro, more than I do with Team S.R.R.R.C. ANY day of the week! I know my team-mates will make the right call!" / Zim says: "Learning to put my trust in others, isn't exactly something that Irkens are well known for. Most of my species never learned how to trust others well; and what happened to THEM?! They're dead, DEAD, very, VERY DEAD!!!! Even with this knowledge, I'm not exactly crazy about putting my trust in others. Although I suppose I'll have to. If I don't, I could wind up eliminated like Dib! I have to try to stay in the contest for him!" / Phoebe says: "I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist, and I try to see things as they are. My friend Arnold? He's a dreamer. He only sees things as they can be; not for what they really are! The sad thing is, you can't always count on dreams to see you to your greater aspirations. Sometimes, the only way to achieve your dreams, is through your own gritty determination, hard work, and patience above everything else! That's why I was valedictorian of MY high school!" / Skipper scoffs and says: "Figures Captain Retro wouldn't even take ME into account! He didn't even SAY anything about adding ME into his team, like I'm not even an issue! But I already KNOW that he can't win the grand prize! He said so himself! So the ultimate prize is all up for grabs, and I aim to take it!" (End Confessional)

Rocko asks: "So, what kind of deal did you propose with Team Adversity?" Captain Retro says: "A win-win situation. If our team wins and they come in second, we cut out their weakest member, and they become a stronger team! And on the other hand, if their team wins and we come in second, they cut out our weakest member, and WE become a stronger team! A win-win!" Robot asks: "Did you even take into account that they could NOT keep their word to you?!" Captain Retro says: "They will! If their auras are open to me, and they were, then my aura reading skills are NEVER wrong! They won't go back on their word!" Globitha says: "Still, what kind of a position does that leave US?!!! Even IF that outcome DOES happen, they're going to vote off whoever THEY think was the weakest! Not who WE think the weakest is! I could lose Robot!" Robot says: "I don't think I'm in danger! Trust me, if I did, I'd feel more cautious about this deal!" Tigress says: "And I think, under the circumstances, it was the best deal we could've possibly made!" Po says: "I agree! Team Adversity IS more trustworthy than Team S.R.R.R.C." Daggett says: "The hardest part is making sure Team S.R.R.R.C. doesn't finish in first, or only finishes in last! That's the KEY part!" Norbert says: "A very astute observation, Daggett!" Daggett blushes and says: "What can I say? You're rubbing off on me!" Marlene says: "Right! Whatever the challenge is, lets do our best, and stay true to our word! We'll go far!" Craig shivers and says: "I sure hope we do!"

(Confessional) Rocko says: "This upcoming challenge is bound to be equal parts skill and luck! There's going to be many different variables in play, some that even Captain Retro can't account for! Still, at least we have some cushion of comfort beneath us. If we wind up in second place, we'll only lose the weakest member. And while I don't want to lose, it's better to have a plan with SOME security, than to have a plan with NONE!" / Globitha says: "The only thing I dread on this show, is the thought that I might not have Robot with me! I don't care if I go; I don't want Robot to lose out on his chance to prove himself! He deserves it!" / Robot says: "Globitha is more concerned with my status than she is with hers! Nobody, with the exception of Monster, has EVER put my well-being above their own before! She really does love me, and I think I made the right call in making her my fiancee! Boy, mom is going to be surprised to see ME get married! That should shock HER systems!" / Daggett says: "My short-comings in the past, was being too rash and having knee-jerk reactions! My goal this season is to be more rational about things! I'm really lucky to have Norbert with me, so he can show me how to handle,  'The Ropes!' Now that I know HOW to handle them I just have to use them to cross this challenge and any other that comes my way; preferably with flying, noble dignity! Of course, 'The Ropes' are purely metaphorical in my statement!" /

Norbert says: "It seems as though sitting out season two was a good move from Daggett. He got to learn from the mistakes other contestants made, so he's not making them! While he probably won't DO better than me, he might do as WELL as me, and that would be saying something!" / Marlene says: "Any plan that keeps me out of danger, is a plan that I like! And when it comes to Captain Retro, I'm glad he thinks of ways to divert the danger away from me! He's so thoughtful like that!" / Craig shivers and says: "I just can't get over this awful feeling that something BAD is going to happen; probably to ME!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Here's the challenge, the three teams will have to make pizza on a conveyor belt, factory production style! Using the ingredients necessary, you'll put all the ingredients on the pizza as needed, and put it through the oven for the customers! Even if you personally don't LIKE the ingredient, you have to put it ON the pizza for the customers, no matter HOW strange it seems! Remember, only a COMPLETED pizza will earn you five points a piece. Incomplete pizzas earn you nothing! Next, you're going to test your appetites in the restaurant! You're going to see how much you can eat in 30 minutes! Of course, if you can't eat anymore, you must ring the bell of quitters, to signify you are dropping out! Both challenges will be based on a point system! The team that scores the highest combined points in the two part challenge will have immunity, and will determine who gets eliminated from the second place team!"

General Barracuda asks: "Anything ELSE, you'd like to mention?" Sniz says: "Oh, yes! There are three items you can choose from in the Italian Restaurant! Technically, there are supposed to be more, but we narrowed it down to three to make it easier for you. Drinks are complimentary sodas, and do not count as points. The three items are as follows: One slice of pizza which equals one point a piece; a plate of spaghetti and meatballs that equals four points a piece; and of course, (in Italian accent) the SPICY-a MEATBALL!!!! (In Normal voice!) The hottest, biggest meatball to be cooked in an Italian restaurants, only the brave and the bold DARE to eat this delicacy, each worth a WHOPPING ten points a piece! Now, here's the thing. You can order as many of the same item as you want, but any item you order, you have to consume in order to EARN a point! And if you don't consume all of your order, you don't score ANY points, even if you ate a LOT; so be cautious! Now, if you DO finish your order, you will SCORE points! And if you're still hungry, you may order again. But remember, it's a 30 minute time limit, and you're competing against two other teams! So no pressure! Strike that, make that LOTS of pressure!" (Confessional)

Heffer says: "Finally! A challenge I can excel in! I'm going to eat hearty tonight!" / Monster says: "Finally! I can see where I stack as an eater against Heffer! He's like a LEGEND! This will be SO epic awesome!" / Bulma groans disgustedly and says: "These MORONS may be interested in making PIGS out of themselves, but not ME! I have a FIGURE to maintain! Speaking of, where's Taotie? I haven't seen him! I better go check to see where he is!" (End Confessional) Taotie is still hanging from the stone spear, and he groans as he is talking to himself! Taotie disgustedly says: "Story of MY life! Every time I ask someone for help, what do THEY do?! They DITCH me!!!! Well, I'm SICK of it!!!! When I get down from here, Kaput is in for SUCH a rude AWAKENING!!!!" Bulma shouts: "HEY!!!! Do you want some help or not?!!!" Taotie says: "Seriously?! You're helping me? You want to help ME?!!!" Bulma rolls her eyes and says: "DUH!!!! I kind of NEED your help! You are my de facto brawn and muscles in this competition! You play an essential ROLE to getting all of the pathetic PEONS out of my path to victory!" Taotie says: "YES!!!! Vindication! I finally have a woman INTERESTED in ME!!!! Maybe not in the way I WANT, but close enough! Just help me down first!" Bulma pulls out a REAL laser pen and says: "One freedom coming up!" Taotie nervously says: "I'm not sure this is--(SNAP!!!!)--SAFE!!!!" (THUD!!!!) Taotie gets up off the ground, and Bulma is blushing! Taotie asks: "What's with your face?!" Bulma says: "Your tunic and underwear, are kind of CAUGHT in the spear!"

Taotie disgustedly says: "So you're fixated on THAT, to!" Bulma says: "Give me more credit than THAT! You're WAY more impressive than I gave you credit for!" Taotie surprisingly asks: "I AM?!!!" Bulma says: "Sure!" And Bulma decides to play the flirt card, as she playfully touches his nose! Bulma says: "And you know, I also think, that there's more to you than just warts and fat." Taotie says: "I'm not sure whether to feel INSULTED, or complimented, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and go with complimented!" Bulma air fist bumps and says: "YES!!!!" Taotie grabs his clothes, and puts them back on! Taotie clenches his fists and says: "That no-good, double dealing Kaput, leaving ME hanging out to DRY?!!! I'll show him what happens when you try to make a MOCKERY out of Taotie!!!!" Bulma asks: "You want to vote him off?! Because I can guarantee you, I can get ANYONE voted off that YOU want!" Taotie's right eyebrow and he gleefully asks: "REALLY?!!!" Bulma says: "I have technology that even the Fairy Godparents can't detect or catch, because THEY don't know of its existence! I have a device that will tell me, without fail, what votes have been CAST into the ballot bag! I can convince the others to vote OUR way! And if that doesn't work, I'll be the LAST to vote in the Confessional, and ALTER the votes so they'll turn out the way WE want! We can't POSSIBLY lose!" Taotie gleefully says: "I like the way you THINK!!!!"

Bulma says: "That's because I'm a GENIUS!!!! You don't think I get through life on my good looks alone, do you?" Taotie says: "If Bing Zao wasn't watching this, I could kiss you, but you're probably not interested anyways! Right now, you, me, Final Three! Does the offer appeal to you?!" Bulma asks: "Is Krillin BALD?!!!" Taotie says: "I have no idea who you're talking about!" Bulma says: "The answer to both questions is, YES!!!!" Taotie gleefully says: "Excellent! However, I don't want to vote off Kaput, not just yet! He needs to be taught a lesson in FEAR!!!!" Bulma says: "What did you have in mind?" Taotie says: "We purposefully THROW the challenge, and put Kaput in DANGER!!!! He must learn not to try to sell me down the river!" Bulma asks: "And what do you want me to do?" Taotie says: "When we lose, you tell everyone to vote off Harvey, except of course for Harvey! I'll tell Harvey that he should vote off Kaput!" Bulma asks: "And why would he do that?" Taotie says: "Because I'll be voting off Kaput, to! I don't trust Kaput to vote off Harvey! But even if he DOES try to vote for me, I'll still be safe! Just don't change your vote, my vote, Harvey's vote, or Kaput's vote. We don't want anybody getting suspicious!" Bulma says: "Agreed! It's time we made our way to the Final Three! I'll tell you everything you need to know about the challenge!"

As Bulma and Taotie walk toward the restaurant, Sniz announces: "Ooh!!!! Sneaky AND under-handed! I would've preferred just one of the two! I wonder what Bulma has in mind, and is she THAT good at being so devious?! We'll have to wait and see! Stay tuned for the exciting final part of this episode, after some important messages!" (Commercial Break) I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

Edited October 4, 2015 by 4EverGreen

[4EverGreen]

It's time for the third and FINAL part of my latest "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" episode, "Pisa Pizza Panic!" /

After the commercials finish airing, the three teams are about to enter the Italian Restaurant! Sniz says: "Here is the restaurant where you will be making the pizzas, and where you will be eating! The pizza-making portion of the challenge will last 30 minutes; the eating portion of the challenge will also last 30 minutes. Remember, only the TEAM that scores the most points will be safe from elimination! Team Retro, since you have two more members than Team S.R.R.R.C., you'll have to sit two contestants out of the FIRST part of the challenge." Sanjay says: "I volunteer to sit out, only because I'm not properly dressed!" Captain Retro says: "I'll also sit out because I'm not confidant about my cooking abilities. It will also give me time to help Sanjay find his clothes, so he can participate in the second part of the challenge!" Sanjay says: "Thanks, Captain Retro. That's really considerate of you." Captain Retro asks: "You're really fond of Craig, aren't you?" Sanjay says: "Is it THAT obvious?!" Captain Retro says: "Obviously, the two of you are an item. A weird item, but an item all the same!" Craig says: "The problem is, barring dreams, the two of us will never be accepted by NORMAL society!" Captain Retro says: "Normal is SO over-rated! If I see someone trying their hardest to be 'normal,' I tend to WORRY! The concept of trying to be 'normal' is not healthy! You want to make an impact in the world? You NEED to be a little weird or strange!"

Sanjay says: "If there's one thing I think about, its the summer when my mom and dad went on their second honeymoon, and on the first day of summer vacation, I went down to the local lake, lost my trunks thanks to Tyson, and Craig saved me from being humiliated like Tyson! I was so thankful to Craig, I spent the whole rest of the second honeymoon, privately naked with Craig, just to know what it was like. It's not that bad. It's just too bad people aren't comfortable with the idea." Captain Retro says: "Well, I'll tell you one thing. It's not always easy to be ahead of the curb. Maybe people today aren't willing to see the two of you together without automatically judging. Thankfully, intolerance never lasts forever. It goes away with time. For instance, what happens when you throw a stone into a body of water?" Craig says: "It creates ripples." Sanjay asks: "But what's so special about that?" Captain Retro says: "Just like ripples, change can be so small at first; but then, look how it GROWS!!!! But SOMEONE has to start them!" Sanjay says: "People won't accept us." Captain Retro says: "Young man, there are probably going to be many times in your life where the right path, isn't going to be the easiest one. Can't you see? If you want your friendship to be what you want it to be, and live life the way you want to live it, you will have to help make it happen, together."

Sanjay blushes, and he says: "Craig, from now on, anytime you want to go some place without human clothes, that's just fine with me!" Craig says: "And I will defend you against anybody who tries to make fun of you!" Captain Retro says: "That is good! I know you two will make more good calls with each other! Now, I'll find your clothes, Sanjay!" (Confessional) Captain Retro says: "Unless you're extremely lucky or gifted with good karma like Rocko is, it is not easy to avoid the stigma of having mistakes being attached to you. Sanjay and Craig? They've made their share. But, they seem to understand the importance of learning from their mistakes, and becoming better for them! Even Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce seem to be learning this! I have high hopes for them! I just hope their game doesn't get interrupted!" / Sanjay says: "This relationship with Craig has never been easy, mainly because of how unusual and unorthodox it is. But if we want to be friends without people judging us automatically, we have to make the effort together! Unless someone like me cares a whole awful lot, nothing's going to get better. It's not! I know Dr. Seuss originally wrote that last part, but that STILL doesn't make it any less true!" / Craig says: "I've been telling Sanjay for years that clothes are over-rated! I'm personally excited at the thought of being considered 'rebel' material, for not wearing any clothes! People should stop being made to feel ashamed of themselves for no good reason!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "The kitchen is in the back, contestants. Don't come out until the time is over! The contest STARTS--!! (And General Barracuda rings a musical triangle!) --NOW!!!!" And the teams rush to start making pizzas! / The teams officially get into an organized set-up, so as to make sure the pizza-making portion goes smoothly! Team Retro gets organized first! Daggett says: "I've got the sauces!" Spongebob says: "I've got the cheese!" Marlene says: "I've got the pepperoni!" Norbert says: "I've got the olives!" Robot says: "I've got the sausage!" Globitha says: "I've got the pineapples!" Stimpy says: "I've got the mushrooms!" Suzie says: "I've got the Canadian bacon!" Rocko says: "Reggie and I got the miscellaneous ingredients!" Po says: "Tigress and I will do speed maintenance!" Craig says: "And I'll make sure the pizza goes out finished!" Marlene says: "Let's get making people!" /

The action shifts to Team Adversity! Dog says: "I've got the sauces!" Stanley says: "I've got the cheese!" Phoebe says: "I've got the pepperoni!" Guano says: "I've got the olives!" Wally says: "I've got the sausage!" Skipper says: "I've got the pineapples!" King Julien says: "I've got the mushrooms!" Invader Zim says: "I've got the Canadian bacon!" Otto says: "I got the miscellaneous ingredients!" Super Chum says: "I will do speed maintenance!" Patrick says: "And I'll make sure the pizza goes out finished!" / The action shifts to Team S.R.R.R.C., as they plan. Or rather, listen as Bulma EXPLAINS the plan! Bulma says: "Here's the deal. Kaput has the sauces, Taotie has the cheese, I have the pepperoni, Gonard has the olives, Oonski has the sausage, Dudley has the pineapples, Chameleon has the mushrooms, Harvey has the Canadian bacon, Heffer and Buhdeuce have the miscellaneous ingredients, Monster will do speed maintenance, and Keswick will make sure the pizza goes out finished!" Oonski asks: "Who DIED and made YOU the decider for our team?!" Bulma says: "HELLO!!!! It's called GRADUATING West City College at Age 18 with a 212 I.Q., you might want to TRY doing it sometime!" Kaput says: "I should be the one making sure the pizza goes out finished!" Bulma says: "That's the LAST thing we need, you sabotaging STUFF! Just stick to MY plan, and everything will work out fine!"

Taotie takes Bulma aside in private, to talk to her. Taotie asks: "What did you have in mind?" Bulma says: "You and I will go as SLOW as we possibly can, and make Kaput worried, about how few pizzas are getting made!" Taotie says: "Good! And if THAT doesn't work, I'll speed up the conveyor belts for our team, and Team Retro, just to take them DOWN a notch!" Bulma says: "Good! The less brainiacs competing against us, the better!" Sniz announces: "Teams, get COOKING!!!!" / A montage of the three teams making pizzas is being seen, while Captain Retro looks for Sanjay's clothes! Captain Retro, however, is unaware that a DARK stranger is mysteriously watching him; a dark stranger believed to be LONG gone! During this montage, a familiar song begins to play! /

Genre: New Wave. Sub-Genre: 1980's Techno (Electronic) Pop. Song: "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These.)" Sung by: The Eurythmics! /

Annie Lennox: "Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree? I travel the world and the seven seas, everybody's looking for something. Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to get used by you. Some of them want to abuse you. Some of them want to be abused. Ooh. Hey, hey. Ooh, ah-ah-ah-ah. Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree? I travel the world and the seven seas, everybody's looking for something. Ooh, ah-ah ah, ah. Ooh, ooh. Whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh! Hold your head up, keep your head up, movin' on! Hold your head up, movin' on, keep your head up, movin' on! Hold your head up, movin' on, keep your head up, movin' on! Hold your head up, movin' on, keep your head up! (Violin solo) Some of them want to use you, some of them want to get used by you. Some of them want to abuse you; some of them want to be abused. Ooh, ah-ah, whoa, oh, who, oh, whoa, ha-ha ha-ha. Hold your head up, keep your head up, movin' on! Hold your head up, movin' on, keep your head up, movin' on! Hold your head up, movin' on, keep your head up, movin' on! Hold your head up, movin' on, keep your head up! (Violin solo) Ooh, ah-ah, whoa, oh, whoa, oh-oh, ha-ha, ha-ha. Whoa, whoa! Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree? Whoa! I travel the world and the seven seas, everybody's looking for something! Whoa! Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree? I travel the world and the seven seas, everybody's looking for something! Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree? I travel the world and the seven seas, everybody's looking for something! Oh!!!! Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree? I travel the world and the seven seas, everybody's looking for something." / And the epic song ends, as Captain Retro finally finds Sanjay's clothes, but sees the reflection of ANTI-Timmy in a mirror!!!! Captain Retro turns around, but he sees no one!!!!

(Confessional) Captain Retro gasps in shock and says: "Anti-TIMMY still around?! It just can't be POSSIBLE!!!! Can it?! I thought we were over the whole, 'Let's use a decaying Anti-Timmy as a metaphor for how much The Fairly Oddparents has decayed,' and I might add, is CONTINUING to decay, but Anti-Timmy is STILL sticking around?! Either his decay rate is slower than I thought, or he must have a lot of residual magic built up in him from ALL of Timmy's LONG laundry list of BAD wishes! Either way, I hope I'm wrong and just stressed out about the challenge! Because if I'm RIGHT...I REALLY hope I'm WRONG this time!" (End Confessional) Captain Retro rushes back to the restaurant, and hands Sanjay his clothes! Sanjay says: "There you go, found them in the cargo hold! How Kaput thought they would stay hidden there, I don't know, and I don't much care!" Sanjay gets re-dressed and says: "Thank you!" Captain Retro says: "I think I also saw Anti-Timmy still on the plane! Do you know anything about that?" Sanjay says: "No. And Craig doesn't either. If we thought Anti-Timmy was still SOMEHOW alive, we would've told you!" Captain Retro closes his eyes and GASPS in horror!!!! Sanjay says: "What's wrong?!!!" Captain Retro hollowly says: "The WORST development that could've POSSIBLY happened to Anti-Timmy! I CAN'T sense his Aura, because his Aura is COMPLETELY gone!!!! He is essentially, un-dead, or WORSE!!!!"

Sanjay asks: "What could be WORSE than being an un-dead zombie?" Captain Retro says: "Trust me, you DON'T want to know! Let me just say if Anti-Timmy's decay lasts LONG enough, he will get REALLY ugly!!!!" Sanjay says: "Even UGLIER than a zombie?!!!" Captain Retro says: "THOUSANDS of times worse! Basically, imagine Nicki Manaj without any MAKE-UP on!!!!" Sanjay shudders and says: "I LITERALLY shudder to think!" Captain Retro says: "We better go see how our team is doing! We might not be able to help, but at least we can offer emotional support!" / 15 minutes have passed, and Team Retro has scored 50 points, Team Adversity has scored 60 points, while Team S.R.R.R.C. has only scored 20 points! Kaput shouts: "What's the DEAL?!" Taotie says: "I think you know full-well what the deal IS, here!!!!" Kaput asks: "What are you talking about?!!!" Taotie threateningly says: "Don't play DUMB, with ME!!!! You tried to RAT me out and attempted to save yourself TODAY!!!! Did you THINK I wouldn't take it PERSONALLY?!!! Well, you're in for a WORLD of hurt!!!! Because when our team LOSES today, I can personally, guarantee, that YOU will be the one to get the BOOT!!!!" Kaput seriously asks: "How can you guarantee THAT?!!!" Taotie slyly says: "A TRULY evil genius never reveals his secrets!" Kaput angrily says: "I'll show YOU!!!!"

And Kaput fires his laser and Taotie, but he DUCKS!!!! The laser harmlessly BOUNCES off the Dragon Radar hanging on Bulma's belt, but the laser splits off in two and ricochets!!!! One laser hits the FAST lever on Team Retro's conveyor belt, making it BREAK; the other laser hits the FAST lever on Team S.R.R.R.C.'s conveyor belt, making it BREAK!!!! Po nervously shouts: "Speed UP!!" Spongebob asks: "What are you talking...a-bout?!" And the contestants notice the conveyor belts are starting to progressively move FASTER!!!! Suzie quickly says: "You heard him! We have to SPEED up!!!!" And Team Retro tries their best to re-double their efforts, while Team S.R.R.R.C. has an even HARDER time of trying to finish their pizzas, with many pizzas going right PAST them, unfinished!!!! To Bulma, Taotie says: "Looks like I didn't have to break the conveyor belts AFTER all! Kaput did it FOR me!!!!" Even with Team Retro's earnest effort, a few pizzas start to slip by them unfinished!!!! Craig says: "I can't let those unfinished pizzas go OUT!!!!"

And in a panic, Craig starts to quickly bite the unfinished pizzas down, and eats them right OFF the conveyor belt before they can go in the oven! While Bulma finds this funny, Sanjay grows increasingly WORRIED by this, as Craig continues to EAT unfinished pizzas, with no sign of the conveyor belts slowing anytime soon!!!! Sniz says: "STOP!!!!" And finally, the conveyor belts stop, and everyone collapses in a heap! Sanjay comes in and asks: "Craig, did any unfinished pizzas get BY you?!!!" Craig weakly replies: "I dood it...with my FACE!!!!" And Craig SLINKS in an overstuffed SLUMP!!!! Sanjay cries: "Oh, you POOR, brave Snake! Heaven knows what all that uncooked pizza will do to your digestive system!" Sniz says: "And here's the standings! Team Adversity is currently in the lead with 100 points, Team Retro is second with 70 points, while Team S.R.R.R.C. is limping behind with 40 points. But, there is STILL time to make a come-back! It is TIME for the final portion of the challenge!" / The contestants are ALL seated at a table, with the couples sitting in one big table area, and all the non-couples sitting at another table area!

Sniz says: "Here's the final portion of the challenge! The eating portion! Your first orders are already being prepared, the challenge will begin once they arrive. Remember, you must finish your order in order for points to be accumulated! Fail to consume the order, and you won't score ANY points! You can order again if you are able, but remember; there's only 30 minutes! The highest combined total score at the end of this portion of the challenge, wins first place! (Bell rings!) And here come your first orders, NOW!!!!" And a bunch of Fairy Godparent waiters, led by Jaundissimo Magnifico, come in with the food! Juandissimo says: "Here you are, my fellow amigos and amigas! La Bella Notte! In other words, bon appetite!" Sniz says: "Ready, SET--!!!!" Fondue TRIES to play the accordion in a polka, but he EPIC fails!!!! Sniz says: "Weird Al Yankovic, he isn't! And GO!!!!" /

Heffer says: "We'll catch up to Team Adversity in no time! I ordered 69 slices of pizza!" Gonard says: "Hold up! Bad idea! What if you don't finish all your order?!" Heffer says: "My love for food is ENDLESS! No way my stomach will quit! Besides, I've got back-up! Monster ordered 69 slices as well!" Monster says: "I want to see where I stack up as an eater against Heffer!" (Confessional) Heffer says: "I have such ROCKING ideas!" / Monster says: "Heffer has such ROCKING ideas!!!!" / Gonard sighs and says: "Their plan already REEKS of failure already! Glad I ordered just the one plate of spaghetti and meatballs, for now. If I have room, I'll probably order three slices of pizza myself!" (End Confessional) Kaput screams: "Come ON!!!! Bulma, Taotie, is one slice of pizza ALL the two of you are going to EAT, seriously?!!!" Taotie angrily says: "Maybe someone should've cared about MY feelings before DITCHING me up on a stone spear, instead of trying to SAVE himself, like the big, purple alien TURD you ARE!!!!" (Confessional)

Kaput angrily says: "How DARE he call me a turd?!!! A stinky piece of cow pie, maybe! But NOT a turd!!!!" / Bulma says: "I'm merely WATCHING my figure! But this way, I will contribute to my team's performance! I'll be safe! To bad I can't say the same for Heffer and Monster! If I wasn't such a fan of Taotie's plan, I'd suggest going after them! Oh well, they're bound to get eliminated eventually!" / Taotie chuckles gleefully and says: "Payback doesn't GET any sweeter than THIS!!" (End Confessional) Meanwhile, Craig hasn't even ordered ANY food yet, and is just groaning in pain! Sanjay asks: "Craig, aren't you getting your second wind yet?!" Craig groans and says: "Sanjay, I have no room for WIND in me! And there's no way I can digest the unfinished pizza in time! I have no more feeling LEFT in my BODY!!!!" And Craig pathetically slithers to the bell of quitters, a fact NOTICED by Team Adversity! Sanjay pleads: "Craig, don't DO it!!!!" And Craig merely uses his head to ring the bell, at only five minutes in! General Barracuda says: "Looks like we got a quitter! Now look, you have NOTHING to be ashamed about...except for being the big fat LOSER that is letting your TEAM down! Now sit outside and wait!!!!" And Craig merely does as he's told! (Confessional)

Sanjay says: "My pal is in SUCH big trouble right now!" / Craig, still over-stuffed, actually CRIES!!!! Craig says: "I'm sorry man, if I thought I could fit SOMETHING else into my body, I would've! But there's no more room in there! I have limits! Even at my best, all I can be...is a snake! I'm so sorry, man!" (End Confessional) Marlene shudders and says: "Poor Sanjay and Craig!" Captain Retro says: "We can't worry about them now! We have to focus on our OWN meals!" Marlene says: "Right! Why did YOU order three pieces of gluten-free pizza?" Captain Retro says: "Two reasons. A, I'm TRYING to avoid any unnecessary carbs in my diet; they're not good for me. B, I don't do the food binge thing anymore, those days are BEHIND me!" Marlene says: "Well, I'll cover for you with the spicy meatball! I can handle ANY kind of hot!" Captain Retro says: "You're certainly doing well! I like a lady who can handle the heat!" Marlene says: "Than you are one lucky dog to have ME!" Captain Retro says: "I certainly am!" (Confessional) Captain Retro says: "Any lady who can handle a spicy meatball, is definitely worth keeping around in my books! And she takes one HOT driver's license picture! You usually have to pay EXTRA for that! I know we'll do well together!" / Marlene says: "Kowalski told me that other than Rico, I am hands down the BEST at consuming spicy foods! Than again, when you have been through as much as I have, you tend to get good at a LOT of things! It's the secret to my many successful endeavors!" (End Confessional)

Meanwhile, Dudley and Chameleon are BOTH enjoying a plate of spaghetti and meatballs! Dudley says: "This is a good night for eating!" Chameleon says: "And I'm eating with you!" Dudley says: "Good ambiance, atmosphere, lighting, and great food, what more could one ASK for?!!!" But Dudley and Chameleon don't NOTICE that their mouths are HOLDING the same piece of spaghetti, and their lips end up touching and meeting!!!! Dudley blushes as he lets Chameleon suck in the remainder! Dudley says: "Sorry about that!" Chameleon sighs and says: "That's okay. You just made my DREAM, come true!" (Confessional) Chameleon says: "And now, I can officially cross off eating spaghetti and meatballs with Dudley off of my dream list! Who knows? Maybe if I'm lucky, we can go to second base, together! Either at a baseball stadium, or anywhere we want! It doesn't matter to me, as long as I'm with Dudley!" / Dudley says: "Sometimes, the best things in life happen as total accidents! Falling in love with Chameleon was one thing. But that kiss? I am SO glad it happened that way!" (End Confessional)

Meanwhile, time is winding down. After finally finishing their one slices, Taotie and Bulma both drop out. This makes Kaput REALLY fuming, as he just downed three slices of pizza! Kaput angrily asks: "What are you DOING?!!!" Taotie says: "Merely giving you a TASTE of your own medicine! Let's see how YOU like it when YOU'RE the one ditched!" Kaput angrily says: "I'm ordering the spicy MEATBALL!!!!" And everyone gasps in shock! Buhdeuce says: "Kaput, I'm not sure that's such a good idea. The meatball is as big as YOU are! How can you EAT it?!!!" Kaput says: "Maybe I just don't WANT us to lose! I'd rather try and fight, then just let someone ELSE decide my fate for me!" Buhdeuce notices that he's the same size as Kaput, to! Buhdeuce has already eaten three slices of pizza, but he seriously says: "I'm ordering the spicy meatball, TO!!!!" And everyone gasps in shock again! Buhdeuce says: "This is for YOU, Sway-Sway!" (Confessional)

Taotie says: "Kaput is BLUFFING!!!! He won't finish that spicy meatball, not in 15 minutes! He probably can't take the heat anyways! But if he's determined to make it HARD for me to eliminate him, I'm HAPPY to oblige!" / Buhdeuce says: "My mom says that I could've been a male model, like my dad, or Rocko. But I wanted to make a positive influence in the lives of my fellow ducks! And if I can help make their day better by delivering bread, than that's what I want to do! I will prove my worth as a Breadwinner, and show EVERYONE that I'm not just 'Breadwinner number two.' (He suddenly realizes the negative implication of this.) I...totally don't mean it in a DIRTY way, or anything! Our show REALLY needs to get BETTER WRITERS!!!!" / Kaput angrily says: "You want WAR, Taotie?! I can give IT, to you!! And to paraphrase General Sherman from the American Civil War; 'All War is HECK!!!!'" (End Confessional) Jaundissimo says: "Two SPICY meatballs!!!!" And a spicy meatball comes out for Buhdeuce, and Kaput! Dudley and Chameleon, who have both ordered two slices of pizza, see what Buhdeuce and Kaput are willing to tackle! Chameleon says: "They sure are brave!" Dudley says: "I just hope their bravery doesn't give them indigestion, or bad gas! REALLY not a fan of gas jokes! They are ONLY funny, if they are NOT happening to you!" Chameleon nods his head and says: "No argument, there." And while Buhdeuce and Kaput try their hardest to down the spicy meatballs, Heffer and Monster are slowing down!

Gonard, who has finished his plate of spaghetti and meatballs, and three slices of pizza, gets worried! Gonard says: "Don't QUIT, you guys! You're almost there! You both have just three more SLICES! Heffer and Monster are BOTH groaning in pain! Heffer asks: "Who knew you could have too much of a good thing?!" Monster says: "My love for bacon pizza...can't overide... the pain in my stomach!" Even so, Heffer and Monster FORCE another slice of pizza into their mouths, but as soon as they eat 60 percent of their slice, their growing stomachs can no longer stay in their clothes, and their clothes BOTH break apart!!!! Feeling too full, Heffer and Monster both collapse on the table!!!! Oonski shouts: "Did anyone SAY you can quit?!!!" Heffer weakly says: "We should've...only ordered...66 slices!" Monster weakly says: "Live and learn!" General Barracuda says: "You're both losers AND you're naked! Get out of the restaurant!!!!" They start to walk away, but before they can, Rocko speaks up, having eaten a spicy meatball and two slices of pizza! Rocko says: "Why do THEY have to leave, but I'm allowed to stay?!!! I'm not wearing any clothes, EITHER!!!!" General Barracuda says: "Rocko, you're a REAL celebrity! You don't need to have FAT slobs like THEM bringing you down!" Rocko seriously says: "One of those 'fat slobs' is MY best friend!!!! And if YOU kick him out, you have to kick ME out, to! I'm drawing the line! Are you brave enough to cross it?!!!"

Rocko and General Barracuda have a brief, tense, stand-off, but General Barracuda groans in frustration, and throws his hands up! General Barracuda says: "Fine! They can stay, but they're STILL eliminated!!!!" Heffer and Monster go up to Rocko! Heffer says: "That was INCREDIBLE Rocko!!!! How did you do that?!" Rocko says: "Honestly, I have no idea! I totally thought General Barracuda would try to smack me down! But I had to stand up for you guys on principle! Nobody deserves to be treated poorly, especially good guys like you! And you two are not slobs at all! You are both good, and you care about others! I won't let anybody tell me differently!" Monster says: "Wow! You're so awesome, Rocko! I hope I can stick around until the team merge! Maybe we can team up together, the three of us!" Rocko says: "I would like that idea!" Heffer, Monster, and Rocko all hug each other! Heffer says: "Rocko, you're the best!!!!" (Confessional)

General Barracuda says: "Yeah, I probably could've kicked Rocko's butt if I wanted to, but what would that make me? It would make me a bully of a villain again, and I have put those days behind me! Besides, if word got out that I gave a beating to the world's most famous wallaby, my status would NEVER recover! My reputation is important to me, so if Rocko wants to make a change in the world, I'll let him. I'm not one to stand in the way of progress!" / Heffer and Monster are in the Confessional together, and they are still unclothed! Heffer says: "Honestly? We didn't bargain for this!" Monster says: "But Rocko is so full of surprises! He was willing to stand up for us, when no one else would've!" Heffer says: "Maybe it's because he's a celebrity, but I think it's genuinely because he has such good karma, and General Barracuda knows this, to. That's why he wasn't willing to attack Rocko. General Barracuda knows all too well what can happen to someone who attacks somebody with a lot of good karma!" Monster says: "I might not have finished my food, but I have gained two GREAT allies!" Heffer says: "Likewise. Although technically, I already HAD Rocko as a friend!" / Rocko says: "It's one thing to be called the best, it's another thing to be the best! Whatever I do, I always try to do the best I can. I don't let anyone tell me which way I have to take; I try to make my own decisions! I want the freedom to be able to do that! Because I'm a celebrity, I get that freedom without question! But my freedom means nothing to me if my friends can't enjoy it. That's the REAL reason I stood up for them, so they can enjoy their freedom!"

(End Confessional) Meanwhile, time is fast winding down, as most contestants have finished eating, and there's only five minutes left! Bulma looks worried, as she looks at Kaput and his dish! Bulma says: "Taotie, he's finished 77% of the dish! He's going to make it!" Taotie says: "Than what we need is a diversion!!!!" Taotie goes up to Oonski, who has downed three plates of spaghetti and meatballs, and three slices of pizza! And is about to start on a spicy meatball! Taotie says: "Oonski, throw your food at Kaput and I'll owe you big time!" Oonski asks: "What did you have in mind?" Taotie says: "10% of any prize money that I win!" Oonski seriously asks: "SERIOUSLY?!!! That's not enough to perk up my interests! I could get that more easily from my traditional viking voyages! Make it 20%, and you've got a deal!!!!" Taotie seriously thinks about this and says: "Deal!" Oonski says: "Than you've GOT a deal!!!!" And Oonski THROWS his giant meatball at Kaput, and it HITS him in the MOUTH!!!! Kaput has actually managed to CATCH the giant meatball in his mouth COMPLETELY, but Kaput STRUGGLES to choke the mammoth meatball down!!!! Kaput says: "Come ON!!!! Digest!!!!" Taotie mocks: "Having dietary problems?!!!" Kaput says: "I've eaten cakes BIGGER than this!" Stimpy says: "Speaking of, I wish we were in Finland. I hear they're making the world's biggest cake over there!" Reggie says: "Ooh! What flavor?!" Stimpy says: "Who CARES?!!! It's CAKE!!!!"

Meanwhile, it boils down to the last minute, and Kaput is STRUGGLING to fit all of the giant Spicy meatball in his body, and Buhdeuce is DETERMINED to finish his! Buhdeuce says: "You've almost GOT it! Just one more BITE...!!!!" Kaput struggles as he says: "I will CONQUER this!!!!" And he actually MANAGES to fit the thrown giant meatball into his body! Taotie gasps in shock and says: "WOW! I didn't think he could actually DO it!!!!" But Kaput gasps in SHOCK, as the heat and spices of the meatball hit him inside all at once, and the amount of meat causes HIS clothes to completely burst apart! Kaput screams: "Soda!!!! I need soda!!!! NOW!!!!" And he grabs the BIGGEST pitcher of root beer that he can, and pours it ALL into his mouth, helping with the digestion process! Meanwhile, he hears all of Team S.R.R.R.C. laughing at him! Kaput asks: "What do YOU have to laugh about?!!! Haven't you ever SEEN a naked, light purple alien before?!!! You're acting like immature brats at kindergarten! I'm comfortable in my own skin!" And Buhdeuce says: "And...DONE!!!!" And he finishes HIS giant meatball, but his stomach has ALSO grown too big for HIS clothes, and they BREAK!!!! Buhdeuce blushes and says: "Heh-heh! I guess I'm duck-naked!" And a buzzer sounds, as time has run out! Sniz says: "And it's OVER!!!! The time is OVER!!!! It's time to tally up the scores for all the teams!" /

Sniz says: "Shame, shame, shame! A sadder collection of lightweights I have never seen! Four contestants grow too big for their clothes, three of them can't finish a single order, one throws an order, and another chokes down an order that isn't even his! All in all, I have to say...it was FANTASTIC television!!!! Talk about the excellent ratings! Team S.R.R.R.C. finished with 80 points in that portion, Team Retro finished with 57 points in that portion, and Team Adversity scored the highest! They all consumed a spicy meatball, which earns them a WHOPPING 120 points total! We add that in to your earlier scores, and Team S.R.R.R.C. finishes last with 120 points, Team Retro finishes second with 127 points, and Team Adversity finishes first with a WHOPPING 220 points!" Kaput does the calculations and says: "Wait a minute! I ATE a whole spicy meatball! Our team should be in SECOND place!" Sniz says: "True, but you didn't eat your OWN spicy meatball order! If you had, your team WOULD be in second place! But since you ate Oonski's order, that doesn't count. It HAD to be your own order, which YOU didn't FINISH!!!!" Kaput angrily says: "Troglodytes!!!!" Sniz says: "Team S.R.R.R.C., your team will face the first elimination ceremony! Team Adversity, you get to decide who leaves from Team Retro!" / Before the elimination ceremony, Taotie goes up to Harvey! Taotie says: "Listen, Harvey. I'm sorry I didn't remember your name before. I was busy thinking about the challenge." Harvey asks: "Really?"

Taotie says: "Sure! I know how much you want to get rid of Kaput, right?!" Harvey says: "Of course I do! He's a bad guy! And bad guys don't deserve to go far in the competition!" Taotie says: "Than how about teaming up to vote off Kaput?! He will NEVER see it coming!!!!" Harvey suspiciously asks: "Well, why should I trust YOU to keep your word?! You've only ever addressed ME two times total, including THIS time!" Taotie says: "I'll keep my word. If I'm actually LYING about the two of us voting off Kaput, I hope I get struck by LIGHTNING!!!!" Taotie waits, but nothing happens! Taotie asks: "See?!!!" Harvey says: "Sorry I doubted you!" Taotie says: "We vote off Kaput, and everyone else will be told how to vote as well!" Harvey says: "Thank you, I'm looking forward to tonight!" Taotie chuckles gleefully, as he whispers: "So do I, SAP!!!! So do I!!!!" / At the first elimination ceremony, it's Team S.R.R.R.C. who faces the first elimination ceremony! Sniz says: "Team named after me, your team is currently 13 contestants. After this elimination, it will be only 12. Why? I've only got 12 bags of popcorn, that's why! You will receive a bag of popcorn if your name is called. If you don't receive a bag of popcorn, you must take the drop of shame, no matter WHO you are! Sorry! It's time to vote!"

(Confessional) Taotie chuckles as he stamps Kaput's pass-port! Taotie says: "Don't worry, I'm keeping my word to Harvey, but he's about to be blindsided anyways!" / Gonard, unsure, stamps Harvey's pass-port. Gonard says: "Sorry. This isn't really the place for an eight year old, even one as skilled as Harvey!" / Kaput angrily stamps Taotie's pass-port and says: "Nobody messes with THIS alien conqueror! I'll show YOU!!!!" / Keswick says: "I guess I got to do the smart thing and vote off Harvey. He's only going to slow us down." And he stamps Harvey's pass-port. / Oonski stamps Harvey's pass-port, and Oonski says: "I have no time to be worried about little kids like you!" / Harvey happily stamps Kaput's pass-port and says: "I'll be glad to see YOU gone!" / A montage of the other Team S.R.R.R.C. contestants are seen, unsure, but still stamping Harvey's passport. / Finally, Bulma enters, and she says: "The plan worked perfectly! I don't even need to USE my secret THIS time!" And she stamps Harvey's pass-port. (End Confessional) Sniz says: "It's time to reveal, who gets to stay. Zarbon! Dudley, Chameleon, Bulma, Keswick, Gonard, Buhdeuce! Oonski, Heffer, Monster!" Kaput looks at Taotie and says: "KER-LECH!" As Kaput makes a slashing motion across his throat! Sniz suddenly shouts: "Taotie!!!!" And Kaput gasps in SHOCK, as he looks at Taotie!!!! Kaput says: "You WOULDN'T dare!!!!" Taotie asks: "Try me!" Sniz says: "Contestants, this IS the final bag of popcorn!!!!" Kaput looks extremely worried about his chances, but Harvey looks extremely confidant about HIS chances!!!!

But Sniz suddenly shouts: "Kaput!!!!" Harvey gasps in shock: "WHAT?!!! I-I don't understand! I thought I was doing so well! Taotie, you PROMISED me that EVERYONE would be voting off Kaput!!!!" Taotie says: "Oh, I'm SORRY!!!! I only PROMISED that you and I would vote off Kaput!! Did I not make that PERFECTLY clear to you when I was telling you about the plan?!" Bulma says: "If it's any consolation, you probably would've become a threat to MY genius if given the chance! I HAD to cut you loose!!!!" Gonard pats a sad Harvey on the back. Gonard says: "Don't worry Harvey, there's always next time!" Harvey grabs his parachute and says: "Guys, my show is only going to do better from here on out! I may be going down, but my show can only go...UP!!!!" And he jumps out of the plane and pulls his parachute, floating down to safety! / Then, Team Retro is waiting for Team Adversity to come in with their voting results! Spongebob says: "This is what it all boils down to! Which one of us will have to take the plunge?!" Norbert says: "Whoever it is, we'll find out soon enough!" Sniz says: "Team Retro, you came in second, but it's a hollow second place finish. So here you are, at the mercy of Team Adversity! You have no idea who they voted for! But I do! I have got 15 contestants, but only 14 bags of popcorn! It's time to reveal who will remain here, as a contestant, in this game!"

Sniz says: "Captain Retro! Marlene, Stimpy, Rocko, Reggie, Po, Tigress, Norbert, Sanjay, Robot, Globitha, Suzie, Spongebob!" Daggett and Craig look at each other nervously, as they are the only two left! Sniz says: "Down to one! And here to give you the official verdict, is Team Adversity themselves!" And Team Adversity steps out, as Wally reads out the results! Wally says: "It is in our unanimous, unbiased opinion, that Craig Slithers Patel, was the weakest contestant in Team Retro, and we therefore, all unanimously have given him the boot from the game!" Sniz says: "And that means Daggett gets the last bag of popcorn!" Sanjay hugs Craig, and Sanjay cries! Sanjay says: "I'm so sorry, dude!" Craig says: "I know! But you can do this! I know you can! You have an amazing mind, you can use it to accomplish anything! Now go, and make me PROUD, man!" Sanjay says: "I'll try!" Craig grabs his parachute and nervously says: "I hope I don't lose my dinner on the way down!" Craig jumps, and despite not having any hands or feet, manages to open up his parachute! Craig shouts: "BYE!!!!" / Sniz says: "And that wraps up another episode! We are down to 38 contestants! Our travels are truly global, and we'll stop at another exciting place next time, on Total Cartoon (sings) Global Cruise!"

/ Epilogue: Bulma takes Taotie into the back of the "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" plane, in the cargo area! Taotie says: "Our plan succeeded just like we wanted it to! Kaput now knows the meaning of FEAR, and that annoying little BRAT is out of the game! Things are going just swimmingly for us!" Bulma says: "They sure are! And I didn't even have to USE my secret to help us WIN this time!" Taotie says: "I AM curious! Just what IS your secret?!" Bulma smiles, and slyly says: "A little something I like to call...WINNER'S insurance!!!!" And she reveals ANTI-Timmy in a cage!!!! Taotie gasps and says: "Anti-Timmy?!!! I thought he was gone!!!!" Bulma says: "Thanks to me, he's not! I found him laying on the ground on Brazil! And I thought to myself, 'What kind of a person, would leave a perfectly good tool for winning the whole game, just laying around?!!!' I smuggled him back in the plane, and I've been keeping him alive with scientific injections of my strongest formulas! That's why the Fairy Godparents won't detect him, because he operates at the EXACT opposite frequency that THEY do!" Taotie says: "Excellent!!!!" Bulma says: "I warn you though, I've done the calculations, and even MY injections won't keep Anti-Timmy around forever! Eventually, he will be too far gone for even ME to keep alive!" Taotie says: "No matter! I thought I lost my tool to achieving victory, but you've been keeping him safe and alive all this time! You're WAY smarter than you look, and you looked pretty SMART to begin with!" Bulma says: "Naturally! Everything is going according to plan!!!!" /

Episode Notes: It is revealed in this episode, that Bulma has secretly KNOWN that Anti-Timmy has still been alive all this time, because SHE is the one keeping him alive! First time that both Taotie and Kaput have tried to betray each other, and it WON'T be the last! Harvey Beaks, as the only representative from his show, gets eliminated with this episode. Craig also gets eliminated with this episode, making Sanjay the only representative from "Sanjay and Craig" representing their show. /

Personal Notes: Even though my episodes are now supposed to be hour long affairs, this one went on a little longer than I wanted to. I wanted to make sure I got down everything I wanted to get down, while I still could! I really, LIKE Harvey Beaks as a character, and I like his show. The problem is, his show is STILL so young! It's hard to expand on his character, when his show doesn't even have one full season under its belt! Despite Harvey's lack of experience, I think he did very well for himself in spite of the circumstances! And the reason for Craig's elimination, is to give Sanjay a drive to win. Just like Sway-Sway had to go in order for Buhdeuce to grow as a character, so did Craig have to leave in order for Sanjay to grow as a character. Besides, I can't have TWO different characters named Craig making the final five TWICE! / That's my episode idea for today! Enough said, true believers!

Edited October 6, 2015 by 4EverGreen

[4EverGreen]

It's time for another brand new episode of "Total Cartoon Global Cruise!" Things are going to get FAST!!!! / Sniz is in the cockpit and says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Global Cruise, we went to the historic city, of Pisa, Italy, for a contest about making pizzas, then eating them, along with some OTHER Italian foods! But before we could even get there, Tigress found out that someone was being NAUGHTY!!!! That's right! She found out Kaput had stolen Sanjay's clothes in order to humiliate him, and ripped the beard off of Oonski the Great, to humiliate him! Kaput, desperate to save his own skin, ratted out to Tigress, that it was ALL Taotie's idea! Not your best move THERE, Kaput! Bulma found Taotie hanging from a stone spear held by a stone statue, and freed him! Bulma offered Taotie a really good deal, the ability to eliminate ANYONE he wanted! Taotie, decided to teach Kaput a lesson in fear! And because Harvey Beaks refused to help Taotie down from the statue, Bulma convinced almost everyone, to vote off Harvey Beaks! While she is very SMART; I HIGHLY question her moral choices! Meanwhile, Team Retro made a deal with Team Adversity, depending on who came in first or in second, because two teams had to send an eliminated contestant off of the plane. Team Adversity kept their word, and voted off who they thought, was the weakest contestant on Team Retro! And so, with a stomach full of uncooked pizza, it was Craig Slithers, who had to take the drop of shame, off the plane! We are down to 38 contestants, and our travels are going to take us to a very SMALL country, but with VERY fast speeds! Who will win BIG?!!! Who will race FAST?!!! Who will get eliminated?!!! Find out for yourselves on another fully automated episode of Total Cartoon (sings) Global Cruise! Let's race!!!!" /

"Stand Back Stanley, in San Marino!!!!" / Team Adversity is once again enjoying the perks of first class! Phoebe says: "This truly is the life for me! If you got to be in a competition that takes you around the world, this is the way to do it! Comfortable, fully stocked, no troubles with pass-ports or customs; I feel SORRY for all those SUCKERS who have to deal with all the red tape on The Great SBC Race!!!!" Wally says: "Hey! Don't knock THAT show!!!! WE don't stoop so low as to take cheap shots at our competitors' shows! At least I don't!!!!" Stanley asks: "What about the time we took a cheap shot at the expense of Old Man Jenkins?!!!" Skipper says: "That was DIFFERENT! He was CLEARLY in the wrong! The only thing THAT show is doing wrong, is trying to make that Hayden guy be something he isn't! Hayden shouldn't be acting like that; he should mellow down!" King Julien says: "An astute observation, my penguin friend! And I for one, don't feel like any of the relationships on our show have been forced!" Guano says: "Exactly! Our relationships aren't a matter of life or death! If we WANTED to get out of any relationship we didn't like, we could do it anytime we wanted to!" Otto says: "Exactly! That's why I dumped Angelica, for the way SHE always treated me! Not to mention, the way she treats everybody else in general!" Patrick says: "All I know is, I hope we can continue to do well!" Zim says: "I sure hope we do! For the first time in our teams history, we actually HAVE a chance to have more members than ANOTHER team!!!!" Randolph asks: "What are you talking about?" Zim says: "Simple! Team S.R.R.R.C. is down to 12 members; WE have 12 members! We make Team S.R.R.R.C. lose, we'll be ahead of them for the first time EVER!!!!" Dog says: "But there's still Team Retro to worry about! And let's not forget; they're still ahead with 14 members! They still HAVE a clear numbers advantage!" Super Chum says: "Let's just not lose sight of the main reason why most of us are here; to make friends and have a good time! Let's not get nasty towards one another!"

Zim says: "Easy for YOU to say; you're a good guy! You're used to trying to do the right thing! But as an Irken, I still have honest difficulties with it! Not to mention, I've been itching like CRAZY since the Mexican challenge! Dib's growth spurt is kicking in, and it's affecting me!" Randolph says: "Look, we're all doing the best we can! If we can just keep the numbers on the other teams stable to our own, we have a good chance of staying in this thing!" Dog says: "And I hope that whatever happens, I get to stay with you!" Randolph says: "I hope for that TO, Dog!" (Confessional)

Phoebe says: "Look, I'm in a good position right now! I've made it ten episodes farther in THIS season than I did in season one! Not only that, I've made it further than ANY representative from Hey Arnold!; has ever made it! I want to make the team merge! Just think of how glorifying it would be, if I could tell Helga to her face, 'I made the team merge, and YOU didn't!!!!' That would be SO gratifying to me!" / Wally says: "I know ratings are important to Sniz, he wants to keep this show around for a while. I do to. But that doesn't mean I want to be nasty about it! Anytime a contestant tries to start a fire with someone else, someone always gets BURNED by it! I'm a Rocket Monkey, so I'm used to rescuing people from fires! I just hope I don't get BURNED by one!" / Skipper says: "Having previously rushed into my relationship with King Julien, I needed to step back and look at our situation logically. We're taking our time, this time. I don't want to end up in some awful copy of the Twilight LOVE saga!!!! Seriously!!!! Stephanie Meyer is hands down, the most AWFULEST story writer on the face of this Earth!!!! In those EXACT words!" / King Julien says: "I know it was a little crazy to try to rush things with Skipper at first. But when confronted by our questionable choices, people needed to know if our love was for real! Well, I'm determined to show EVERYONE, that our love IS for real! Team Skiplien all the WAY!!!! I decided to combo our two names together! It's a popular thing that celebrities in love do with each other! Although, I do wonder what the proper term for calling Po and Tigress together, is." / Otto says: "Despite not getting a real chance to show off my awesome skills just yet, I know that there's action waiting in the wings for me! I can feel it in my bones! Or, maybe it's just my adrenaline cravings talking. Hard to tell." / Zim says: "I've been waiting a long time for my team to for once, be above another team! And now, we can finally get it done! All we have to do, is either win this challenge or come in second, and we'll be closer to being ahead! I am SO filled with anticipation!" /

Dog says: "Before now, being ahead of another team, in terms of numbers, has never been a realistic goal for us. Now, we have a good chance to be ahead of at least one team. It all hinges on whether or not we can finish ahead of another team, that's what it all boils down to." / Super Chum says: "It's so odd how much I've grown in terms of my character strength. I thought that I wouldn't be able to handle things without Fanboy. Not only am I handling them, I'm handling things exceptionally well on my own! I still like Fanboy, but now that I know that I can stand on my own, I have a real chance to do some good in the world! I just need the perfect opportunity to present itself!" / Randolph says: "The secret to our victory in the last challenge was team-work, pure and simple! We operated the best, because our team unity was the best in that challenge! If we can keep that level of team unity up, we should do well! I certainly hope we do, I would LOVE that!" (End Confessional) Team Retro, and Team S.R.R.R.C. are uncomfortable, sitting together in normal class. Reggie asks: "Why does it always feel awkward to share the same area as another team?" Rocko says: "It isn't always. Anytime we share quarters with Team Adversity, I don't feel awkward." Suzie says: "Let's face facts, it's not easy to share the same space with a lot of people who don't agree with you."

Sanjay looks around his body, where Craig used to be, and Sanjay sighs in sadness. Sanjay sadly says: "Not to mention, having to get through the rest of these challenges without my most trusted pal! I always knew if worse came to worse, I would have Craig for support! But...now I don't!" Captain Retro says: "Well, it wasn't easy for me to make the deal with Team Adversity, but we had to do something to protect ourselves! If I didn't make that deal, there's a good chance YOU could've gone instead of Craig, and where would that leave him? You know you can do well on your own! It's actually very easy to limit yourself without realizing it. The trick is, you got to NOT do it! The reason why I'm so enlightened as I am, is because I don't try to limit myself to things! Open your mind, and opportunities will present themselves to you! Trust your heart, Sanjay. Do it for Craig!" Sanjay sighs and says: "All right, I will!" (Confessional) Sanjay says: "Now that I'm without a wing-man...or snake, as the case was; I have to try to strike out on my own. Naturally, I'm worried if I go this alone. What if I mess up?! (Shakes his head) You never know, it could be GREAT! Although, I think I might have actually just referenced some lines in a Gwen Stefani song! I guess this show is rubbing off on me!" / Captain Retro says: "I remember when I was Sanjay's age, young, confused, not as enlightened; I was a teenager, and I HONESTLY thought I knew EVERYTHING!!!! Or at least, everything I CARED to know about! But as I've grown, I had to accept that I really didn't know as much as I thought I did! I had to put aside my angst, pent-up frustrations, and steel myself to work hard, in order to become better. It wasn't always easy, but I've learned so much, and I have work in a good, professional vocation! Sanjay can have that, to! He just needs a push in the right direction! And I'm willing to be the one to give him the gentle nudge onto the path toward enlightenment." (End Confessional)

Meanwhile, Team S.R.R.R.C. has mixed feelings towards each other! Heffer shouts: "Freedom!!!!" Monster says: "It feels so good!!!!" Heffer says: "You know, I don't even MIND having to fly in a plane anymore! If I have freedom, I'm golden!" Monster says: "Zarbon, you ought to try it sometime." Zarbon says: "Not a good idea. If anyone of you saw what I looked like completely unclothed, you'd drop dead from jealousy and envy! It's purely for your own safety, you understand!" Oonski says: "You are NOT that perfect!!!!" Zarbon says: "At least my body IS!!!! And as such, I want you to treat me with the respect I deserve!" Gonard says: "You may not be evil anymore, but you're STILL a bit of a snob!!!! Honestly, whose brilliant idea was it to vote off Harvey Beaks?!!! Not mine!!!! The only thing I'm glad about, is that Harvey isn't here to see this disintegrating situation!!!!" Dudley says: "Things aren't disintegrating!" Chameleon says: "Take us for instance! We've learned so much about each other! We like the same Nintendo video games!" Dudley says: "We like the same movies!" Chameleon says: "We're even starting to finish each others...!" Dudley and Chameleon respectively say: "Sandwiches/Sentences!!!!" Dudley blushes in embarrassment and says: "Still working on that one!" Keswick says: "Personally, I'm happy for both of you. I'm just not happy with Bulma!" Bulma innocently asks: "Whatever do you mean?!!!" Keswick says: "Your choice of morals, and who you choose to hang out with aren't really impressing ME!!!! Whose side are you ON, anyways?!!!" Bulma defiantly screams: "I'm on MY SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And anyone with a HALF a brain, would be TOO!!!!" Keswick rolls his eyes, and mutters to himself: "You'd HAVE to have half a brain to put up with THAT!!!!" Dudley says: "She's not THAT bad!!!!"

Keswick says: "You want to spend five minutes alone with HER?!!! I would LOVE to see you try!" Dudley says: "On second thought, I'm happy to still hang out with Chameleon!" Chameleon says: "You make me feel...so...warm-blooded!!!!" Keswick says: "That's unusual, especially considering that you're a reptile!" Chameleon says: "I'll personally TAKE the upgrade! Think of how much I'll save on heating bills, if I become warm-blooded!!!!" Taotie asks: "Kaput, don't you have anything you NEED to say to me?!!!" Kaput angrily asks: "WHAT?!!! Like how YOU threatened to boot me OFF?!!!" Taotie defiantly says: "You tried to betray me FIRST!!!! Turn-about IS fair play!" Kaput angrily says: "You would've done the exact same THING in my position!!!!" Taotie says: "That's no excuse!!!! The last challenge was a WARNING!!!! Don't make me have to warn you again!!!!" Buhdeuce however, is meditating and says: "Guys, lets not be so stressed!" Gonard asks: "When did you become so zen?" Buhdeuce says: "This freedom has helped open my mind. I know now that fart gags and butt jokes, aren't that funny! And I don't care how much money they pay me; I do NOT want to stoop so low just to get a paycheck! I want my show to be more dignified than that!!!!" Oonski asks: "Isn't it a little LATE for that?!!! You've lost your clothes!" Buhdeuce says: "Losing my clothes, does not mean I've lost my drive to do well in life! The first day I tried to become a Breadwinner, I lost my clothes in the mine shaft, but did I give up? NO!!!! I kept on trying!!!! When Sway-Sway left his bread behind, and I was the only one who could get it to him, did I let the fact that he needed to get that bread ASAP, be overpowered by my lack of clothes? No!!!! I couldn't, wouldn't, and didn't!!!! And when I arrived with the bread, T. Midi was SO impressed, he didn't even CARE that I wasn't clothed! He was just impressed that I never gave up!!!! We have a good opportunity to learn something! If we all just stick together, and can get others to accept us for who we are, there's no way we can't do well in life!!!!"

Bulma says: "Personally, I like this new attitude! But some of us, we're not dressing down! I have WAY too much status at stake!!!!" Gonard says: "Diva!!!!" Bulma genuinely says: "THANK you!!!!" Gonard says: "That wasn't a compliment!!!!" Bulma says: "I'll still take it as one!" Gonard says: "Figures you would!"

(Confessional) Heffer says: "Ever since I became unclothed, and Rocko stood up for me and Monster, I've been feeling empowered! I know Monster has, to! Everyday, I hope that Monster's performance will help get him noticed in a positive matter!!!! I hope that against all odds, Monster can get Robot, Globitha, and himself, back on the air! They deserve a better chance!" / Monster says: "Not having our show get the promotion it deserved? That hurt. But not even getting a CHANCE to do better with a second season like Invader Zim?! That hurt, worse! I don't even know what we lacked. What made our show not as deserving as some other shows that get to stick around? All I know is, that if I do well this season, maybe Robot and I can do the impossible, and get our show back on the air! If The Fairly Oddparents can keep getting cancelled, then renewed for no GOOD reason; why can't OUR show be cancelled, then renewed for a GREAT reason?! Our performances on THIS show!!!!" / Zarbon says: "People calling ME a snob?!!! Ehhh, they have a fair point, I'll concede that. Doesn't mean I have to be happy about it." / Gonard says: "I only voted off Harvey, because I thought, like any SANE person would, that this show wasn't the type of PLACE for an eight year old! I don't care if he needed to stop being such a wallflower; there are BETTER ways to get over your shyness! The only trouble is, now that I realize what Harvey's problem was, I can't do anything about it. Maybe I can make up for it next season." / Dudley asks: "Why did I say SANDWICHES?!!! How would THAT even work in context?!!! I don't know; I panicked, I guess!" / Chameleon says: "I don't worry about Dudley; I LOVE it when he makes cute little flubs like that! It makes me laugh!" / Keswick says: "Personally, I've had just about all I can STAND, from Miss Know-It-All!! Hello!!!! Anybody who acts like they actually ARE that smart, probably AREN'T! I KNOW! I've TRIED! If we lose again, I'm SO tempted to give HER the boot, woman, or NO woman!" / Bulma says: "Keswick is just jealous of me. It's hard NOT to be!" /

Buhdeuce says: "I'm trying to learn from the examples set by Super Chum and Captain Retro. If I ever want to be taken seriously as a Nicktoon, or have MY show be taken seriously by other people; than we need to get our act straightened out, shape up, and show people that we haven't even begun to reach our potential yet! Although, I do feel like I can confidently say one thing; I think MY show has now OFFICIALLY passed The Fairly Oddparents in terms of quality! Of course, it's mostly because THEY'RE going down, but I'll take my victories where I can get them!" / Kaput angrily says: "How DARE Taotie call ME on the carpet like THAT?! Him of ALL contestants?!!! I've never been so infuriated by anyone in my whole LIFE!!!! How DARE he try to intimidate ME like that?! Who does he think I am?! Invader Zim?!!! I have WAY more success than he EVER did!!!! My show was WAY better than his!!!! And if Taotie thinks he can out-do me in terms of being evil, he's in for SUCH a rude awakening!!!! Oh, I'm not going to eliminate him! Not just yet!!!! But Taotie just HATES being humiliated SO much!!!! I bet if I humiliated him a BUNCH of times, he'd SNAP and completely LOSE it!!!! That should teach HIM that I'm the superior mastermind!" / Taotie says: " I know what Kaput is thinking! He's thinking about trying to humiliate ME!!!! Well, he can keep on TRYING!!!! It takes a LOT to humiliate me! When you've taken as many dumb losses against the Furious Five as I have, you don't back down easily! I won't let Kaput break ME down! And if he tries to humiliate me, I'll humiliate him RIGHT back! Although, it is pretty hard to eliminate an alien who's already lost his clothes! But I'm SURE I can think of a way! My reputation depends on it!" (End Confessional)

After the lengthy confessionals, General Barracuda says: "Since one of MY challenge ideas is coming up, I think I should be the one to make the announcement!" Sniz says: "Go ahead! Uhhh...can I call you Horatio?" General Barracuda says: "I guess so. That name doesn't bug me as much as it used to." General Barracuda activates the intercom and says: "Attention contestants! This is your General/Pilot speaking! We are about to make our descent, into the nation of San Marino! Items on our challenge list include fast cars, casino games, and MORE fast cars! Strap yourselves in as we prepare to land in one of the most important nations in all of Europe! That is all!" Norbert asks: "One of the most important nations in Europe? Who does he think he's KIDDING?!!! San Marino is smaller than the city of Los Angeles, California, is!" Daggett says: "But did you HEAR what General Barracuda SAID?!!! Race cars! I think we'll get to RACE some!!!! And I've become SO much better with my driving skills, thanks to Bunny!" Stanley comes back into Normal Class, and he says: "Isn't this upcoming challenge going to be COOL, Spongebob?!!! Just think about it! I FINALLY get a chance to show YOU my awesome DRIVING skills!!!!" And Spongebob's eyes just about blanch over, and his heart grows VERY cold!!!! Spongebob nervously asks: "Y-Y-Y-Y-YOU...have...a DRIVER'S LICENSE?!!!!!!!" Stanley, oblivious, says: "SURE!!!! Who DOESN'T?!!! Anyways, I got to prepare for the inevitable race coming up! Wish me luck! I do the same for you!!!!" Rocko looks at Spongebob, who is beginning to turn a boiling RED, the same shade as LARRY!!!! Rocko, worried, asks: "Spongebob; are you okay?!!!" Captain Retro quickly says: "I don't have a driver's license EITHER, and that's by CHOICE!!!! It's okay!!!!" But Spongebob TOTALLY loses it!!!!

Spongebob SCREAMS: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And his scream SHOCKS General Barracuda so much, he SLAMS the plane RIGHT into the middle of the San Marino Raceway! The plane is undamaged, but General Barracuda is STILL annoyed!!!! General Barracuda asks: "Fondue, you remember back when I used to want to KILL Spongebob; you want to know one of the reasons WHY?!!!" Fondue asks: "Why?" General Barracuda angrily says: "That SCREAM, was one of the reasons WHY!!!!" Spongebob is still fuming, as he angrily says: "So HELP me; this is going to STOP!!!! I SWEAR if it's the LAST thing I do; I am going to GET my Driver's License if it KILLS me!!!!" And Spongebob angrily storms off!!!! Reggie nervously says: "Uh-Oh! I think someone BROKE him!!!!" Captain Retro sighs and says: "I'm honestly surprised that he's managed to last THIS long before snapping!!!!"

(Confessional) Captain Retro sighs and says: "It was bound to happen sooner or later. I've always been worried about Spongebob's sanity! He's so perky, and almost always SO optimistic!!!! But I guess when he heard that even his COUSIN has a driver's license, it just sent him over the edge! Getting a driver's license, is like the most irritating thing in Spongebob's life! To think about all the times he's come close, so VERY close, but always have it snatched away from him for some dumb reason or another! Honestly, it must have felt as if King Neptune himself was taunting Spongebob, always dangling a Driver's License just out of Spongebob's reach! The trouble is; when dangling an irresistible treat like that in front of a hungry attack animal, sooner or later, the chain they are on is BOUND to BREAK!!!! And if you don't make sure that chain is still strong, you're going to be in for a WORLD of hurt!!!! There's no telling what Spongebob will do, or WHO he will turn to in THIS state of desperation!!!!" / Spongebob angrily says: "I have been publicly humiliated for the last time!!!! Being humiliated by Squidward is one thing, I expect that from HIM!!!! But to be humiliated, by my own COUSIN, no less; that's where I draw the LINE!!!! If I'm going to get my driver's license, and STOP the humiliation once and for ALL; it's time to resort to the heavy artillery!!!! My only answer, is the one guy I thought I would NEVER ask help from! I need help from, General Barracuda!" (End Confessional) Spongebob knocks on the steel door and angrily says: "Open up!!!!" General Barracuda angrily says: "This door doesn't open up for LOSERS!!!!" Spongebob fumes and says: "I SAID... (RIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) ...OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And General Barracuda turns around in shock, as he sees Spongebob has transformed into his muscular form! General Barracuda gulps and nervously says: "Okay, you have my ATTENTION!!!! Now what?!!!" Spongebob reverts back to normal, but he is STILL angry!!!! Spongebob angrily says: "Everybody but ME has a driver's license, and I'm SICK of IT!!!! I am going to GET a driver's license! It's going to HAPPEN!!!!" General Barracuda scoffs and says: "Yeah, RIGHT!!!! And what makes you think that I would EVER help YOU?!!!" Spongebob smiles and he says: "Because I can personally guarantee you, that if you don't HELP me get my driver's license, I can make every single DAY of the REST of YOUR life a living NIGHTMARE!!!! Even if you get ME eliminated!!!!" General Barracuda sighs and says: "FINE!!!! I'll train you!!!! But I'm warning you right now, you will NOT sleep, you will not EAT, you will not BATHE, you will NOT rest, and you DON'T get to sing, dance, skip, jump, prance, blow bubbles, catch jellyfish, flip Krabby Patties, hang out with friends, kiss Sandy, stop Plankton, take care of Gary, or appear in ANY more movies, until you get your DRIVER'S LICENSE; because I NEVER quit!!!! And I NEVER fail!!!!

Do you got IT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Spongebob smiles as he calmly says: "That's PRECISELY what I wanted to hear!!!!" (Confessional) General Barracuda says: "The last guy in the WORLD that I want to help out, is usually Spongebob! But today, he was DIFFERENT; different than I had EVER seen him before!!!! I saw something in him that I never saw before! A spark! A FIRE!!!! A desire that burns SO strongly in him, he will do whatever it takes to get what has SO long eluded his grasp! Oh, I'm going to get him his driver's license! And when I'm done with him, he is SO going to be the BEST driver, EVER!!!! Even Cruella De Vil would be shocked to see the transformation Spongebob goes through! All I have to do, is to DEVOUR Spongebob, swallow him, regurgitate him, and devour him AGAIN!!!! So he will be TWICE devoured!!!! It won't be easy to break that sponge down, and remold him into the image that I want! But if I play my cards right, I may be able to do something I never could've done LAST season; create a PERFECT winner, to finally GET to the Final Three and WIN!!!! Like I said, it won't be easy! But MAN!!!! It's going to be SO much fun...for ME!!!!" / Spongebob gasps in excitement and says: "I can't believe I DID it!!!! I convinced General Barracuda himself to help me! I know it's not the safest choice in the world, and it isn't even anywhere remotely NEAR the sanest choice I could've made!!!! But you don't know how DESPERATE I am to get a Driver's License!!!! I have FAILED 4,443 times! I SWEAR, I will LITERALLY scream, 'Bloody MURDER!!!!' if I fail again!!!! That's why General Barracuda HAS to succeed where everything else has FAILED!!!! He is my LAST hope!!!!" (End Confessional)

The contestants all step out of the plane, no worse for the wear. But they recoil in a PANIC when they see that they're right in the center of the raceway, and the casino is across six lanes of heavy, speeding race traffic! Stanley nervously asks: "Can you position us somewhere...NOT in the middle of a raceway?!!!" General Barracuda defiantly says: "No can do!!!! This is MY challenge, and you are ALL going to play by MY rules!!!! You're basically MY meat, NOW!!!! And believe me, if you think Sniz's ideas are tough, you have NO idea what tough is!!!! Sooner or later, I always find a way to BREAK someone!!!! There's never been a THING I couldn't crack!!!! Mark my words, only the BEST are going to make it through THIS challenge! The losing team will have to send somebody's SORRY loser butt HOME! No exceptions! Got IT?!!!" (Confessional) Suzie says: "Okay, whoever had the INSANE idea to let General Barracuda handle THIS challenge, I must say...I'm impressed! I'm interested to see what the General has in mind!" / Otto says: "All RIGHT!!!! I KNEW I had a good feeling about this challenge! Otto is going to DOMINATE!!!!" / Zim says: "One of the few guys who genuinely make me nervous, is General Barracuda! You do NOT want to get on his BAD side!!!! And trust me, in my honest opinion, he has a VERY, gigantic, BAD side!!!!" / General Barracuda says: "Believe me when I say, there is going to be TROUBLE!!!!" (End Confessional)

General Barracuda says: "This wasn't part of the plan, but I'm going to make it one ANYWAYS!!!! You're going to have to cross the race-track to get to the casino! Once there, each of you must find a way to RAISE $4,000 in order to enter in the race, but you each only have $100 to work with! And there will be NO credit extensions! If you're feeling generous, you may feel free to give SOME of your money to another contestant! Only the contestants who can raise $4,000 in the next hour, will get a chance to participate in the next part of the challenge! The next part of the challenge is the REALLY exciting part!!!! The race around San Marino!!!! Each contestant must finish three laps of some of the HARDEST road courses in the history of RACING! It's not as simple as just always making a left turn! You're going to have to make right turns, back turns, long turns, short turns, square turns, round turns, and any other turns you can think of! Whichever team gets the most contestants across the finish line WINS!!!! And sabotage in the race is PERFECTLY legal!!!! (Kaput gets an EAGER look!!!!) As long as it doesn't KILL anybody!!!!" And Kaput groans in bitter disappointment! General Barracuda says: "Remember, the team that gets the least amount of contestants across the finish line, will eliminate someone from their team! If on the off chance, there are teams that finish with the same amount of racers in last place, we'll hold a tie-breaker question to determine which team has to FACE the elimination ceremony! The winning team gets a fabulous reward! They get to keep ANY money they receive from the casino, AND, they will have the grand opportunity, to swap one of their OWN contestants, in order to get a contestant from the last place team of their choice! That should be FUN!!!!" Captain Retro looks at Spongebob, than looks at Wally!

Captain Retro says: "Wally, I will keep my word to you! If our team wins today, and your team winds up in last place, I'll save YOU from elimination, and swap you with Spongebob!!!!" In a panic, Spongebob overhears this and shouts: "WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Captain Retro says: "Sorry. You're too unstable to keep around on our team. I need someone who has their head on their shoulders, and doesn't try to align himself with General Barracuda!" Spongebob asks: "You KNOW about that?!!!" Captain Retro says: "Your Aura was open to me. If you didn't WANT me to read it, you should LEARN how to close your mind, so your secrets don't get out!" And Spongebob gasps in HORROR, at the predicament he has put himself in!!!! (Confessional) Spongebob shouts: "What have I DONE?!!!! I swore I would do ANYTHING; ANYTHING to get my Driver's License!!!! I didn't know that it would send Captain Retro into a PANIC and seriously THINK about trading me for WALLY if my team WINS!!!! I have to tell General Barracuda the deal is OFF for now!!!! I can't get sent out of Team Retro!!!! It would practically be the END, for ME!!!!" / Captain Retro says: "Admitting that I want to trade Spongebob for Wally? Yeah, that hurt. But you have to look at it from a logical perspective! If I want to make sure my team does well, I need to have all members of my team be at their top physical, and mental conditions! I can't afford to have any team-members freak out and lose it! Even Spongebob. If he wants a chance to save himself, he BETTER hope that General Barracuda is in a listening mood! Because if he isn't, Spongebob is going to learn how to drive, whether Spongebob wants to or NOT!!!!" (End Confessional)

Spongebob goes up to General Barracuda in a panic! Spongebob says: "Abort mission! ABORT mission!! I don't NEED to learn how to drive that badly! I can get around on my BIKE just FINE!!!!" General Barracuda yells: "Tough COOKIES!!!! You threatened ME, to make the rest of MY life miserable if I didn't help you get your driver's license! So, now I'm going to make the rest of YOUR life miserable, until YOU get your Driver's License, and I don't CARE how long it takes!!!! Unlike Mrs. Puff, I have an INFINITE amount of patience!!!! I once spent six hours on HOLD, for Microsoft's X-Box complaint call line, just to complain how AWFULLY bad Rareware's GAMES had become!!!! Getting YOU your driver's license, will be EASIER than Final Fantasy VI Advance by comparison!!!!" And Spongebob gulps in nervousness!!!! General Barracuda says: "You ALL have to cross the raceway to get to the casino!!!! And to make it more...ha-ha, FUN, for ME; you got to do it, while worrying about...THIS!!!!" (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!) Robot almost FREEZES in horror as he shouts: "No WAY!!!!" General Barracuda says: "Never thought THAT sound could be made to make you AFRAID, now did you?! You know what THAT means! You are GOING to sing a song while crossing the raceway, and I don't care WHO complains about it! Because I am infinitely more stubborn than anybody else is!!!!" Stanley says: "Suddenly, I'm not so eager for this challenge!"

Genre: 1980's Rock and Roll. Sub-Genre: Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks. Song: "Stand Back!" Sung by: Cast! / During this montage, the contestants all try to quickly make their way across the raceway, as they avoid all the racing cars! / Monster: "No one look, I'll walk by!" Zarbon: "Just an invitation would have been just fine." Bulma: "Said 'no' to HIM, again and again! First he took my heart, then he ran!" Skipper: "No one knows how I feel; what I say." King Julien: "Unless you read between my lines!" Marlene: "One man walked away from me. First he took my hand. Take ME home!!!!" Cast: "Stand back, stand back!" Captain Retro: "In the middle of my room, I could not hear from you!" Team Retro: "It's alright, it's alright!" Stimpy and Reggie: "To be standing in a line. (Standing in a line) To be standing in a line." Rocko: "I would cry." Spongebob, nervously: "La, la, la-la, la, la, laaa, la-la. La, laaaa. La, la, la-la, laaaaa." Norbert: "Do not turn away, my friend." Daggett: "Like a willow, I can bend!" Phoebe: "No man calls my name, no man came!" Buhdeuce: "So I walked on down away from you, maybe your attention was more than you could do!" Globitha: "But one man did not call; he asked me for my love." Robot: "And that was all!" Cast: "Stand back, stand back!" Dudley: "In the middle of my room, I do not hear from you!" Team S.R.R.R.C.: "It's alright, it's alright!" Chameleon and Gonard: "To be standing in a line. (Standing in a line.) To be standing in a line." Keswick: "I would cry." (Instrumental solo)

Stanley, nervously: "La, la, la-la, la, la, laaa, la-la. La, laaaa. La, la, la-la, la, la, laaaaa." General Barracuda: "Too few, too few!" Patrick nervously: "Laaaaa. La, la, la-la, la, la, laaa, la-la. La, la, laaaa. La, la, la-la, laaaaaa." Wally: "So I walked, walked down the line away from you!" Super Chum: "Maybe your attention was more than I could do!" Zim: "One man did not fall! Well, he asked me for my love, that was all!" Cast: "Stand back, stand back!" Zim: "In the middle of my room, I did not hear from you!" Team Adversity: "It's alright, it's alright!" Otto and Guano: "To be standing in a line. (Standing in a line.) To be standing in a line." Randolph: "I could cry." Dog: "I need a little sympathy!" Spongebob: "Well, I need a little sympathy!" Patrick: "Well, I need to be standing in..." Stanley: "Stand back!" Phoebe: "Well, I need to be standing in..." Wally: "Stand back!" Otto: "Well, I need to be standing in..." Super Chum: "Stand back!" Marlene: "Take me home!" Spongebob pleads: "Take me home!" General Barracuda: "Stand back! Don't you, 'Take me home!'" Spongebob sadly: "Well, I need a little sympathy!" Stanley: "Stand back!" / And the song ends as Spongebob nearly bumps into Stanley, as he is the last contestant to finish crossing the raceway safely! General Barracuda says: "Challenge one is DONE!!!! Everyone except Spongebob, play in the casino! Now that Harvey is gone, we don't have to babysit him anymore! As for you, Spongebob, you're coming with ME!!!! I am going to put you through the most INTENSE driving course ever, COMPLETELY certified, binding, and legal; and once you're finished, you MAY wish you were better off DEAD!!!! Prepare yourself Spongebob!!!! For...you can WELCOME to MY Nightmare!!!! (Lightning somehow flashes!!!!) AFTER, these important messages!" (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

[4EverGreen]

It's time for the second part of my "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" episode, "Stand Back Stanley, in San Marino!" I hope you enjoy it! /

After the commercials finish, all of the contestants (besides Spongebob) have entered into the casino! Guano says: "WOW!!!! It would be pretty EASY to lose your money in a place like this, and that's even if you DON'T play the slots!" Zim says: "There are so many machines to choose from! How can we POSSIBLY pick the right one?!" Phoebe says: "It's impossible!" Captain Retro says: "It's easy!" Randolph asks: "Really? And what makes YOU so special?!!!" Captain Retro says: "I can get the entire $56,000 my team needs to enter this race, just by putting one quarter into one slot machine!" Kaput says: "That's STUPID!!!!" Captain Retro says: "I'll PROVE it!!!!" As he walks toward a slot machine, Kaput says: "You don't HAVE to prove it, I believe you're STUPID!!!!" Captain Retro closes his eyes, and says: "It should be RIGHT, HERE!!!!" And he sees a slot machine with the following record on it. It says: "Statistics; 665 games lost, 0 games won." Captain Retro says: "Statistically speaking, this is the one I should use!" Taotie says: "He is SUCH a sucker!" Captain Retro puts in ONE quarter, closes his eyes and says, "Pull it, NOW!!!!" And he does this, and THREE sevens come up in a row, giving Captain Retro a payoff of $56,000!!!! Oonski shockingly gasps and says: "WHAT?!!! That's not possible!!!!" Bulma says: "That machine said it had the least number of WINS that whole day!!!! How could you POSSIBLY win it?!" Captain Retro says: "Rule of Irony. Anytime someone loses a bunch of games in a row, the next person to come and try their luck, inevitably WINS a big payout!"

Kaput asks: "Care to send some money OUR way?!" Captain Retro says: "I'm sorry, I heard you say my idea was 'stupid!' So no, I'm not sending any money YOUR way; and even if you DIDN'T call it stupid, I can't give any money to you based on principle! You are on an opposing team from me!" Kaput angrily says: "RATS!!!!" Captain Retro pulls most of his team together, and makes sure that each member gets the $4,000 they need to enter in the race. Tigress says: "That was fast work, Captain Retro, I'm impressed!" Po asks: "So, what do we do now?" Captain Retro says: "Well, we've got 58 minutes before this portion of the challenge ends, and we all STILL have $100 each that we CAN spend! We should enjoy ourselves and get something to eat! We want to be at our peak performance!" Sanjay asks: "Do you think we can do a good job of racing?" Suzie says: "Well, we won't know until we try!" Captain Retro says: "I just hope that General Barracuda isn't giving Spongebob a hard time in his driving lessons." /

(CRASH!!!!) General Barracuda screams: "WRONG!!!! Again!!!!" Spongebob goes to another practice car, starts it up, drives around a bit, panics, and BREAKS another one! General Barracuda screams: "STILL WRONG!!!! How do you EVER expect ME to stop SCREAMING into your non-existent EARS?!!!" Spongebob says: "It would HELP if you DIDN'T! Mrs. Puff never does THAT to me!" General Barracuda says: "Well, in case you HAVEN'T noticed, even though you TOTALLY should have, is that I am NOT Mrs. Puff! In fact, I'll tell you the REAL reason you have NEVER passed your driving test!" Spongebob asks: "Why is that?" General Barracuda says: "It's because Mrs. Puff is TOO soft on you! She lets your mistakes SLIDE without making you PAY for them!" Spongebob shockingly asks: "Are you CRAZY?!!! She once tried to have me KILLED for no good reason! Just like YOU!"

General Barracuda says: "Well, you're STILL alive, aren't you?! And she recovered, didn't she?!" Spongebob says: "That's TOTALLY not the point! What makes YOUR training method so different!" General Barracuda says: "You're not afraid of FAILING your driving test, just the OPPOSITE!!!! You're afraid of passing with flying colors!" Spongebob seriously asks: "Seriously?! How can I be afraid of passing?!!!" General Barracuda chuckles and says: "You'd be surprised how often people turn out to be their OWN worst impediment to success! Take it from me! I was once afraid to be a good guy, being bitter and everything! I thought I wouldn't be good at it, so I fought against becoming a good guy! But when Master Coelaceanth tried to kill me, I stopped fighting against becoming a good guy, because I needed to save my life! And by extension, yours! Statistically speaking, YOU owe ME!!!! And, if you remember anything you get out of this, just remember one important thing! You can BE afraid of succeeding, or you can choose to be SO fearless, you can accomplish ANYTHING; INCLUDING winning this WHOLE season, EVEN if Captain Retro transfers you!!!!" Spongebob stops and asks: "You mean, you could get people to STOP pushing me around?!!!" And General Barracuda smirks, knowing that he's GOT Spongebob right where General Barracuda WANTS him! General Barracuda says: "My dear, sweet sponge, that's what I DO!!!! It's what I LIVE for, to help unfortunate sea folk, like yourself! Poor souls with no one else to TURN to!!!!"

Genre: Broadway. Sub-Genre: Burlesque. Song: "Poor Unfortunate Souls." Sung by: General Barracuda, with Spongebob. / General Barracuda: "I admit that in the past, I've been a nasty, they weren't kidding when they called me, well, a jerk. But you'll find that nowadays, I've mended all my ways, repented, seen the light, and made a switch to this. And I fortunately know some special tactics, its a talent that I always have possessed. And here lately, please don't laugh, I use it on behalf of the miserable, lonely, and depressed. (Under breath) Pathetic. (Normal voice) Poor Unfortunate Souls, in pain, in need. Buhdeuce wants to be thinner, Sway-Sway wants to get the girl; and will I help them? Yes, indeed! Those poor unfortunate souls. So sad! So true! They come running into my cock-pit yelling, 'Help! General, Please!' And I'll help them! Yes, I will! Now it's happened once or twice, some folks just can't pay the price, and I'm afraid I'll have to rake them across the coals. Yes, I've had the odd complaint, but on the whole I've been a saint, to those Poor unfortunate souls!"

General Barracuda speaks: "So, here's the deal, my treatment is guaranteed to make you a perfect driver for as long as the season takes place. Now listen, this IS important! If you want to be a perfect driver, you must satisfy one of two conditions, either WIN first place of this season, or get Sandy Cheeks to give her love to you. That is, she has to kiss you. Not just any kiss, a kiss of TRUE love! If she DOES kiss you before the season ends, OR you win, you'll become a good driver, PERMANENTLY! But, if you fail in both departments, you'll go back to being a terrible driver and, you'll be MY apprentice, for LIFE!!!! Have we got a deal?" Spogebob says: "If I become a good driver, I'd never get to see Mrs. Puff again." General Barracuda says: "That's RIGHT!!!! BUT...people would NEVER make fun of you EVER again! And think how much it would impress Sandy Cheeks! Oh! And there IS one more THING! We haven't discussed the subject of PAYMENT! You can't get something, for NOTHING, you know!" Spongebob says: "But I don't HAVE--." General Barracuda puts his fin up and says: "I'm NOT asking much, just a token, a trifle! You'll NEVER miss it! What I want IS...your free WILL!!!!" Spongebob asks: "My free will?" General Barracuda says: "You heard right! No more PRANCING, Skipping, ZIP!!!!" Spongebob asks: "But if I don't have my free will, why would I--?" General Barracuda says: "You'll have your looks, your voice, you'll have your girl! And it's all POSSIBLE to the micro-chip I've KEPT from Snaptrap!!!!"

Spongebob gasps in shock as he SEES the micro-chip he NEVER thought he'd see again, formerly USED on Reggie Rocket! General Barracuda mockingly says: "Oh, and let's not forget the importance of your BODY LANGUAGE!!!! HA!!!!" General Barracuda sings: "The sea folks in Bikini Bottom don't like prancing! They think a sponge who blows bubbles is a JOKE!!!! Under sea its much preferred for sponges NOT to have a word! Anyways, what is idle skipping for? Come on! Squidward's not at all impressed to hear you talking! He'd really much avoid if he can! But he'd be jealous and feel so strong, if you're a sponge who is withdrawn! It's he who holds his tongue who gets to drive! Come on you Poor Unfortunate Soul! Go ahead, make your CHOICE! I'm a very busy General and I haven't got all day; it won't cost much, just your free will! You Poor Unfortunate Soul, its sad, but TRUE! If you want to cross a bridge my sweet, you've got to pay the toll! (Spogebob briefly sees a piece of parchment, that while it has a bunch of words on it, all he can read is, "I, the undersigned, hereby give one Free Will to General Barracuda in perpetuity, for the ability to drive, for all eternity.") Take a gulp, now take a breath and go ahead and sign the scroll! (Aside to audience) Yes, folks, I have got HIM now!!!! (To Spongebob) The boss is on a roll!!!! This POOR (Spongebob grabs pen) UN... (Sniz and Fondue GASP in shock) ...FORTUNATE SOUL!!!!!!!!!!!" Spongebob closes his eyes, and signs his name perfectly!!!! General Barracuda gets a CREEPY smile!!!!

General Barracuda sings an incantation: "Beluga, sevruga, come winds of the Caspian Sea! Larynxes, glossitis, et max laryngitis, la voce to ME!!!! Now, SING!!!!" Spongebob opens his eyes, and sings his last bit of free will, as General Barracuda installs the micro-chip! Spongebob sings: "La-la-la, la-la-la." General Barracuda says: "Keep SINGING!!!!" Spongebob sings: "La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. La-la-la, la-la-la." And we see inside Spongebob's mind, as General Barracuda's fin, reaches in, and SNATCHES Spongebob's free will away and Spongebob's normal voice continues singing as it's transferred into the locked-up micro-chip! Spongebob's voice, dis-connected, sings: "La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la!!!!" And General Barracuda enacts his transformation through science! General Barracuda laughs maniacally: "Ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-HA-ha-ha-ha, ha-HA-ha-ha, ha-ha-HA-ha-ha-ha, Ha-HA-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-HA-ha-ha-HA, ha-ha-HA!!!!!!!!" / The epic song ends, and Spongebob is transformed from a naive, yellow square of a sponge, into a blackened shadow of something that does NOT resemble what Spongebob is supposed to look like!!!! But the transformation is SO jarring, it actually FLASHES a bright light, as even General Barracuda is blown AWAY by the transformation! As General Barracuda takes a look, only Spongebob's SHADOW is seen, but General Barracuda gasps in SHOCK and says: "THIS...is far MORE than I expected!!!!" /

Meanwhile, in the casino, Bulma lays down her plan to get victory! Bulma says: "Kaput may have BLOWN our chance to get free money! I however, have a PERFECT alternative!" Keswick says: "And I'm so desperate, I'm ready to BELIEVE it!" Bulma says: "My latest device, I call it the JACKPOT finder! Based on the revolutionary computer laws of probability, it can detect the PRECISE location, of the next guaranteed payoff!" Gonard says: "I'm glad you have a plan!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "While I'm proud of all my inventions, what I really want to do is direct, an animated "Dragonball Z" movie adventure for once! How come I'm NEVER allowed behind the driver's/director's seat of the chair?! I am SO knowledgeable!" / Zarbon says: "I'll tell you why Bulma NEVER gets to direct! She's WAY too self-centered! Obviously, I kind of have that fault, to. But the difference is, at least I'm willing to admit it." / Keswick says: "I'll give Bulma this, I don't think I could've invented that. Or at the very least, I probably COULDN'T have invented it right on the FIRST try! Maybe if her plan works, I'll ratchet my respect points for her from three, back up to a seven on my Respect-o-meter!" / Gonard says: "Believe it or not, Bulma and I have a lot in common. We both star in anime shows, and we BOTH have blue hair! Technically, her's is more of a turquoise, but it's still a blue! I'd just wish she'd take me more seriously! If she gave me a chance, I could be WAY more helpful to her than Kaput or Taotie!" (End Confessional)

Bulma uses her device, and points to a "Jeopardy" type casino machine! Bulma says: "Here's the PERFECT question for me!" Bulma puts in a quarter, and a question comes up! It asks: "What is 111,111 x 111,111?" And as the "Final Jeopardy" theme music plays as Bulma says: "98,765,432,123,456,789 which is a numerical palindrome, meaning its the same both forwards and backwards when put into a mirror!" And the answer reads: "Correct!" And Bulma receives the $48,000 for her ENTIRE team! Buhdeuce says: "WOW!!!! That was INCREDIBLE!!!! How did you come up with that ANSWER so fast?!!!" Bulma says: "I learned it when I was five. It's basically elementary level multiplication for a woman with a 212 I.Q. like ME!!!!" (Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "It's official! I am NEVER doubting Bulma's math again!" / Keswick says: "So she's NOT all talk! But I could've answered that, TO!!!! Bulma's not the ONLY one who's smart! So why does SHE get so much screen-time, and I DON'T?!!! Oh wait, I already KNOW the answer to that question; it's because she's a PRETTY woman!!!! How ORIGINAL!! Let's make a 'BIG' deal about a beautiful woman who's a brainiac! It's not THAT un-common for beautiful people to be SMART; people just ACT like it is! It REALLY isn't that unusual!" / Bulma says: "And with that, I can add another quarter to my, Bulma Is ALWAYS Right! Jar!" CLINK!!!! (End Confessional)

Super Chum says: "Wow! The other two teams got their winnings SO fast! How can WE get that type of money?!!!" Phoebe says: "Use your POWERS!!!!" Super Chum rolls his eyes and says: "I meant WITHOUT resorting to such cheap tricks!" Wally says: "Good for you! I applaud your choice in morals!" Stanley says: "Morals are nice, but they won't get us the money to enter the race!" Skipper smiles and says: "I've already GOT a plan!!!!" King Julien claps and says: "Sounds enticing! Lay it on ME, my penguin companion!" Skipper says: "I saw this in a German movie once; Run Lola, Run; it TOTALLY works! Just place one dollar, measure the dimensions and speed of the ball roulette table, wait for the right moment, SCREAM really loud, and the ball will stop on the number you want!" Guano says: "You're absolutely SURE about this?!" Skipper rolls his eyes and says: "Maybe you didn't HEAR me; I SAW IT IN A GERMAN MOVIE!!!!" Randolph says: "So OBVIOUSLY, he has great faith in it!" Dog says: "He was a pretty good contestant on my team LAST season, I have faith in him!" Otto says: "I'm a daredevil, I'll take a CHANCE on THIS!" Patrick says: "Do it, then! Show us what you got!" Skipper says: "All right then, I will!"

Skipper goes to the roulette ball table, studies the dimensions of the table, and the speed of the ball. Then Skipper places a dollar on the number 44. Skipper waits, than loudly screams: "AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And sure enough, Skipper's scream STOPS the ball on number 44!!!! Zim says: "Incredible!!!! You stopped the ball where you wanted it to stop, and got us the $48,000 necessary for us to compete!" Skipper asks: "Who said I was playing for CHUMP change?!!!" Wally checks the payoff table, and the payoff for landing on 44, is $42,048,000!!!! Wally gasps in shock and says: "No WAY!!!!" Skipper says: "That's right!!!! I have all this money, and if I drop out before the challenge starts, I get to keep the WHOLE money!!!!" Sniz walks in and says: "Not so FAST!!!! That wasn't COOL, what you did! We referenced movies LAST season! We're not supposed to do that THIS season!!!! We're SUPPOSED to be referencing songs!" Skipper says: "It was just a FUN, little thing! Besides, I got the money, so I should get to KEEP it!" Sniz says: "I'll tell you something right now; you quit the show right now, we will NEVER allow you back onto the show EVER again!" Skipper gasps in shock and says: "You can't DO that!!!! Can you?!" Sniz says: "Try me!! On the OTHER hand, if you're willing to cooperate, I might be willing to make a DEAL with you!" Skipper asks: "What KIND of a deal?"

Sniz says: "You can have a CHANCE to win $42,000,000 that you just won, permanently, if you agree to STAY as a contestant, and play like you're supposed to. The $42,000,000 will become the THIRD place prize money! However, as you probably have already guessed, there's no guarantee you'll win it. You've already been eliminated ONCE this season! I'll tell you this, though. You certainly won't get ANY money if you drop out right now!" Skipper says: "All right, then I will stay, as a contestant!" Sniz announces: "All contestants, I've got GREAT news! We now have a PRIZE for third place, thanks to Skipper! If you wind up in third place, you will win $42,000,000!" King Julien says: "That is AWESOME, Skipper!" Skipper says: "Well, it is! Just promise me one thing." King Julien asks: "What's that?" Skipper says: "If either one of us gets to the third place victory, we split the prize money 50/50!" King Julien says: "Ooh! I like the way you think!" (Confessional)

King Julien says: "Being an awesome King, I already have a lot of things. One thing I don't have, is gold-plated and gold-encrusted, and gold-solid fancy material possessions. In fact, I think I'll even SPREAD the wealth around! Give some luxury items to Maurice, and a golden statue of me, so Mort can play with that, instead of my feet. It's the least I can do for all the selfish demands they've had to put up from me...back when I USED to be selfish! But thanks to Skipper, I'm not like that, anymore!" / Skipper says: "So getting a bunch of money has hit a road-block, for now. At least I STILL have a chance to get that money! I just have to stay until the Final Three, and I'll be golden!" / Marlene says: "Frankly, I'm not surprised Skipper tried to pull this kind of stunt. He's always looking for the quickest way ahead. At least this way, even if I make it only to third place again, I'll win a $42,000,000 payout for it!" Marlene sighs, and says: "Maybe I SHOULD give Skipper some of it, just to show that there's no hard feelings between us. Of course, I'd want me and Captain Retro to have most of it; just out of principle." (End Confessional) Sniz says: "So, I guess everyone has their necessary money, then." Stimpy says: "Only one question, where's Spongebob?!!!" (DA-DA-DA-DA!!!!) And the door opens with a shock, as blast of wind HITS everyone!!!! Spongebob walks in, dressed in black leather pants, black leather shirt, black letter boots, with chains, wearing black gloves, and having black hair, like Michael Jackson, looking BAD, as he's HOLDING an official driver's license!!!!

Stanley gulps, and nervously asks: "We're about to hear him sing a Michael Jackson song, aren't we?" Captain Retro says: "Statistically speaking, this show HAD to get around to using Michael Jackson songs SOONER or later!" (SNAP!!!!)

Genre: Michael Jackson. Sub-Genre: Dance-Pop/Funk. Song: "Bad." Sung by: Spongebob (with Michael Jackson's voice) and Stanley. / Spongebob: "Your butt is mine, gonna tell you right! Just show your face, in broad daylight. I'm telling you on how I feel! Gonna hurt your mind, don't shoot to kill. Come on, come on, lay it on me. All right...I'm giving you, on count of three to show your stuff; or let it be. I'm telling you, just watch your mouth. I know your game, what you're about. Well, they say the sky's the limit, and to me that's really true. But my friend you have seen nothing, just wait 'til I get through because I'm bad, I'm bad - come on! (Really, really bad.) You know I'm bad, I'm bad - you know it! (Really, really bad!) You know I'm bad, I'm bad - come on, you know it, you know! And the whole world has to answer right now! Just to tell you once again, who's bad? The word is out; you're doing wrong. Gonna lock you up before too long. Your lying eyes gonna tell you right. So listen up; don't make a fight. Your talk is cheap, You're not a man! You're throwing stones to hide your hands. But they say the sky's the limit, and to me that's really true. But my friend you have seen nothing, just wait 'til I get through because I'm bad, I'm bad - come on! (Really, really bad!) You know I'm bad, I'm bad - you know it! (Really, really bad!) You know I'm bad, I'm bad - you know it, you know! And the whole world has to answer right now. Just to tell you once again, who's bad? (Instrumental solo)

We can change the world tomorrow, this could be a better place. If you don't like what I'm saying, (Zarbon tenses up because he thinks Spongebob said, "Saiyan."), then won't you slap my face?! Because I'm bad, I'm bad - come on! (Really, really bad!) You know I'm bad, I'm bad - you know it! (Really, really bad!) You know I'm bad, I'm bad - you know it, you know! Woo! Woo! Woo! And the whole world has to answer right now, just to tell you once again; you know I'm bad, I'm bad - come on! (Really, really bad!) You know I'm bad, I'm bad - you know it - you know it! (Really, really bad!) You know, you know, you know - come on! And the whole world has to answer right now just to tell you once again! You know I'm smooth - I'm Bad - you know it! (Really, really bad!) You know I'm bad - I'm bad! (Really, really bad!) You know, you know, you know it - come on! And the whole world has to answer right now, just to tell you once again. You know I'm bad, I'm bad - you know it! (Really, really bad!) You know I'm bad - you know - hoo! (Really, really bad!) You know I'm bad - I'm bad - you know it, you know! (Really, really bad!) And the whole world has to answer right now, just to tell you once again, who's bad?!" / And the epic song ends! Kaput claps at his performance and says: "Wow! I didn't know he had it in him!" Oonski laughs and says: "Yeah, RIGHT!!!! Like that little dude could EVER be a TOUGH guy!!!!" And Spongebob just walks right UP to Oonski and punches him SQUARE in the chest!!!! The blow actually SENDS Oonski FLYING, and CRASHING into the wall at the other end of the casino!!!!

In a gruff voice, Spongebob angrily asks: "Did I give YOU permission to SPEAK?!!! I am TIRED of being PUSHED around!!!! Oonski knows it, Taotie knows it, Squidward knows it, and even STANLEY knows IT!!!! You're looking at a NEW sponge NOW!!!! One who DOES the pushing!!!!" Taotie laughs and says: "You NEVER stop with the jokes!!!!" Spongebob angrily asks: "Do you think I'm BLUFFING?!!! Have you ever SEEN what a sponge can do to a dirty CAR?!!!!" Taotie realizes the implication of this statement, and he stops laughing! Spongebob says: "Follow ME!!!! I've got a challenge to DOMINATE!!!!" And Spongebob walks outside!!!! Rocko asks: "What happened to him?" Norbert says: "Isn't it obvious? He's gone to the dark side, General Barracuda did this to him!" Daggett says: "Even I could figure THAT out!!!!" Tigress asks: "Why don't I just beat him UP?!!!" Captain Retro says: "That won't change him!!!!" Po asks: "Maybe he has a micro-chip in him like Reggie did! That would explain his new behavior!" Captain Retro says: "I've already thought of the possibility. But unlike Reggie, the micro-chip is locked INSIDE of his body! If I forcibly remove it, the shock to his system could KILL him! The only way Spongebob is going to get out of this, is if HE removes the micro-chip for himself! The problem is, the micro-chip takes away Spongebob's free will. He's now at the mercy of whatever General Barracuda wants!" Suzie says: "I thought General Barracuda was DONE being evil!"

Captain Retro says: "He's being mean, thoughtless, and careless. In his mind, General Barracuda is NOT being evil! General Barracuda STILL wants to WIN the prize money! But seeing as how he can't compete, it looks like he's going to have Spongebob do it for him!" Robot asks: "Can we stop him?" Captain Retro says: "If we interfere with General Barracuda's plans, he might be crazy enough to put Spongebob's life in DANGER, not to mention the lives of everyone else! It seems that our only course of action is to let General Barracuda's plan play out, and hope that Spongebob can remember who he truly is!" Globitha asks: "Will we EVER get Spongebob back?" Captain Retro sighs and says: "Who knows? Even I cannot foresee how this will turn out. But, there is one thing we CAN do to make it HARDER for General Barracuda to succeed; win this challenge, and swap Wally for Spongebob, just like we planned!" Stimpy says: "I personally don't like it. I mean, Spongebob is STILL technically our ally!" Sanjay says: "As long as he has that micro-chip inside of him, the only guy he's an ally to, is to General Barracuda!" Captain Retro says: "It is a difficult choice to make, but it seems that our best course of action is to choose the LESSER of two evils! We end General Barracuda's plan early, and Spongebob gets sent onto a team with a track record for losing! That way, General Barracuda can't threaten our safety with the safety of Spongebob, he won't be ON our team!"

Marlene says: "That is a brilliant move!" Captain Retro says: "Let's just hope we win! Everything rides on it!" Sniz asks: "Will Captain Retro and his team chalk up another win for the force known as Team Retro? Stay tuned after these commercial messages and find out!" (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

Edited October 9, 2015 by 4EverGreen
Finally finishing my episode.

[4EverGreen]

It's time for the third and FINAL part of my latest "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" episode, "Stand Back Stanley, In San Marino!" Enjoy! /

After the commercials finish airing, the contestants are looking at 36 VERY beautiful cars! General Barracuda says: "Here are your cars, dragsters, automobiles, whatever you want to call them! Winning this challenge will require speed, and careful concentration! Remember, any type of sabotage that is non-lethal, is permitted in this race! You will have to race three laps of the San Marino course! If your car gets wrecked, you're out! If you cause MAJOR physical damage to one of your opponents, you're out! And if you CRASH your car, you're out! Whichever team gets the MOST contestants across the finish line, WINS!!!! The losing team will be the one who gets the LEAST amount of contestants across the finish line! Unless of course, there happens to be a tie, in which case we will resort to a tie-breaker question! The winning team will get to swap one of their OWN contestants, for a contestant in the losing team of their choice, as well as keep the money they earned in the casino! That discounts Skipper's $42,000,000; that's STILL for the third place contestant win only!" Sanjay says: "There are only 36 cars! There are 38 contestants! What gives?" General Barracuda says: "Team Retro has two more members than BOTH Team Adversity and Team S.R.R.R.C., obviously! Two contestants will have to double up with someone else as a passenger, in order to make it more fair for the other two teams!" Captain Retro says: "I'll partner up with Marlene!" Po says: "I'll partner up with Tigress!" Taotie scoffs as he says: "Figures!" General Barracuda says: "It's settled, then! Get prepared, and DO have a good time...if you CAN!!!!"

(Confessional) General Barracuda says: "I already KNOW Captain Retro's plan! I have complete ACCESS to any confessionals MADE on this show, lest anyone FORGET that important fact! Captain Retro plans to TRADE Spongebob to Team Adversity, for Wally if Team Retro WINS!!!! That's why the FIX is already in! I've already installed devices on the underside of ALL the cars for Team Retro EXCEPT for Spongebob's, so he will be the ONLY one on Team Retro who gets to cross! Besides, with the way Spongebob is acting, which team would want HIM on the same team as they are?!!! Besides, I hate Team Retro's STUPID winning streak! I'm going to take them down a notch!!!! Because I CAN!!!!" / Kaput rolls his eyes and says: "Of COURSE I already sabotaged Team Retro's cars! HELLO!!!! What's WEIRD, is they had these WEIRD little devices on the underside of ALL the cars for Team Retro, except for Spongebob's! That MUST make them work! Why have them otherwise? Taotie is SO going to thank me for this, later!" (End Confessional) Stanley goes up to Spongebob, and Stanley says: "It sure is awesome to have a driver's license, and to have an AWESOME cousin! I'd like to thank you by driving on a trip somewhere with you sometime!" But Spongebob tries to SWING at Stanley, but Spongebob NARROWLY misses! Spongebob angrily says: "If you want to THANK me, you need to stand back Stanley, in San Marino!!!! You could get HURT if you're not more careful!" Stanley says: "I think you finally just worked the episode title into the actual episode!" Spongebob shouts and asks: "Do you THINK anybody cares about your 4th wall breaking observations?!!! How DARE you try to make yourself superior to ME; the sponge who's done EVERYTHING?!!!" Stanley gasps in shock and asks: "When did I EVER try to make myself superior to YOU?!!!" Spongebob says: "You ought to KNOW; Mr. 'I Have My Driver's License, Because EVERYONE has ONE?!!!!'"

Stanley gasps in shock as he FINALLY realizes his error! Stanley asks: "You didn't HAVE your driver's license before today?!!!" Spongebob sarcastically says: "Look who's FINALLY catching on!!!! Did you KNOW I FAILED my driving exam 4,443 TIMES?!!! Only EVERYBODY knows about it, because Squidward BLABS all my failures to EVERYBODY, like some CRUEL, sick joke!!!!" Stanley begs and pleads: "I didn't know, I SWEAR!!!! I live with Uncle Sherm, we're very secluded! I had no way of knowing! PLEASE!!!! You've got to believe me!!!!" Spongebob angrily says: "It's too late for THAT; Stanely 'Inferior PANTS!!!!' You made YOUR bed; now YOU'RE going to sleep in it, whether you want to or NOT!!!!" (Confessional)

Stanley groans and says: "I'm still SUCH a klutz! Maybe not physically, but I still am, socially!!!! Why does my family have such a hard time in social situations?!!! You would think that BECAUSE of the way we tend to act usually, we'd have LOTS of friends, and make friends easily! But not picking up on things that should be SO outwardly obvious?!!! How could I MAKE such a rookie ERROR?!!! And worst of all, I said I would do GOOD in this challenge!!!! How could I DO that to my own team?!!! I might have jinxed us, and I didn't even give it a second thought! If word of this gets out, I'm going to be SO eliminated!" / Spongebob laughs and says: "You don't know how GOOD it felt to FINALLY tell someone off!!!! All that phoney, baloney NICENESS?!!! BAHH!!!! I'm GLAD General Barracuda DID what he DID do to ME!!!! Now NOBODY is going to push ME around, and I'm FINALLY going to get the respect I DESERVE!!!! Nobody, will EVER make fun of me again!!!!" / Rocko says: "I understand Spongebob's anger. It's not easy to live your life, always being picked on despite being nice and helpful to others. But two wrongs DON'T make a RIGHT!!!! Spongebob is doing WRONG by letting General Barracuda DO this to him! And the worst part is, General Barracuda isn't going to listen to REASON from us! General Barracuda thinks he can control Spongebob absolutely? He won't succeed! Plankton couldn't, and neither will General Barracuda! General Barracuda has no idea what he's done to Spongebob! The problem with trying to alter Spongebob's mind, is that Spongebob ALWAYS tends to take things TOO far, often through no fault of his own! I'm just worried that Spongebob may grow aggressive enough to try to take OUT General Barracuda! I know General Barracuda is strong, but there's no telling HOW good General Barracuda can be, against a truly ANGRY Spongebob! General Barracuda has NO idea of the beast that could be lurking within! I hate to say this, but I hope he NEVER has to know! We have to win, no matter what!" (End Confessional)

The contestants all get into their cars, and put on their safety gear. Tigress asks: "Po, why didn't you TELL anybody that you didn't have a driver's license?" Po says: "I didn't think it was important! Besides, Master Shifu advised me not to tell anybody." Tigress says: "I don't CARE about that fact! I can get you where you want to go!" Po says: "Tigress, I am so in love with you right now!" Tigress says: "We'll race now, and love later!" Marlene asks: "What's the plan, Captain Retro?" Captain Retro says: "You just focus on steering and driving! I'll keep a look-out on the right side and to the back of us, to make sure nobody tries to wreck us!" Marlene says: "Solid plan!!!!" General Barracuda readies a stoplight signal and says: "On your MARKS...(REV!!!!)...get SET...(REV!!!! DING!!!!)...GO!!!!" And the contestants all race off of the starting line! During the exciting racing montage, Spongebob uses his new found brute force to knock quite a few contestants out of the race! He knocks out Phoebe, Guano, Zim, Randolph, Stanley, Zarbon, Keswick, Gonard, Buhdeuce, Monster, Kaput, and even Patrick out of the race, all while a familiar song is being played during the sequence!!!!

Genre: Michael Jackson. Sub-Genre: Dance-Pop/Funk. Song: "Speed Demon!" Sung by:

Spongebob: "I'm Headed For The Border, it's On My Mind." Phoebe: "And Nothing Really Matters, I've Got To Be On Time!" (CRASH!) Spongebob: "Look In The View Mirror, is He Hot On My Tracks?" Guano: "Is He Getting Nearer?" Randolph: "I Feel Some Heat Is On my Back!" (CRASH!) Spongebob: "Speed Demon! Speeding On The Freeway, gotta Get A Lead way. Speed Demon!" Zim: "Doing It On The Highway, gotta Have It My Way!" Spongebob: "Speed Demon! Mind Is Like A Compass, I'm Stopping At Nothing!" Stanley: "Speed Demon! He Say..." (CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!) Spongebob: "Pull Over Boy And get Your Ticket Right!" Zarbon: "And Nothing Gonna Stop Me! Ain't No Stop And Go!" Spongebob: "I'm Speeding On The Midway!" Keswick: "I Gotta Really Burn This Road!" Spongebob: "Speed Demon!" (CRASH!) Speeding On The Freeway, gotta Get The Lead way." Zarbon: "Speed Demon!" (CRASH!) Buhdeuce: "Doing It On The highway, gotta Have It My Way!" (CRASH!) Spongebob: "Speed Demon! Mind Is Like A Compass, I'm stopping At Nothing!" Gonard: "Speed Demon! He Say..." (CRASH!) Spongebob: "Pull Over Boy And get your Ticket Right!" Marlene: "Speed Demon, You're The Very Same One Who Said The Future's In Your hands." Captain Retro: "The Life You Save Could Be Your Own." Po: "You're Preaching about My Life Like you're The Law." Tigress: "Gonna Live Each Day And hour Like for Me There's No Tomorrow!" Kaput: "Go! Go! Go! Aaow!" (Instrumental Solo)

Monster: "Speed Demon!" (CRASH!) Spongebob: "Speeding On The freeway, gotta Get A Lead way." Kaput: "Speed Demon! Got Fire In My Pocket!" Spongebob: "I Just Lit A Rocket!" (CRASH!) Patrick: "Speed Demon!" Spongebob: "Just Pull Over Boy and Get Your Ticket Right!" Patrick: "Speed Demon!" Spongebob: "Pull Over Boy And Get Your Ticket Right!" Patrick: "Speed Demon! Spongebob: "Just, pull over Boy and Eat Your Ticket! Pull Over Boy!!!! (CRASH!!!!) Pull Over Boy, And Get Your Ticket Right!" Patrick: "Ugh!" Kaput: "Aaow!" Stanley: "Uhh!" Spongebob: "Hoo! Get Your Ticket Right! Pull Over Boy-Get
Your Ticket Right! Pull Over Boy And Get Your Ticket Right! Pull Over Boy; pull Over Boy And get Your ticket. Eat Your Ticket, Get Your Ticket, Eat Your! Hoo! Aaow! Get Your Ticket Right!" / And the epic song ends as one lap is finished! General Barracuda laughs and says: "Not BAD, Spongebob! Just like I taught you! Too bad I can't say the SAME for who USED to be your FRIENDS!!!! Ha, ha, HA!!!!" He pushes a remote control, but nothing happens! General Barracuda asks: "HUH?!!!" General Barracuda keeps pushing buttons, but nothing happens!!!! General Barracuda says: "What the HEY?!!!" General Barracuda starts pounding buttons in a frenzy, but nothing happens!!!! General Barracuda SCREAMS: "WHY ISN'T IT WORKING?!!!!!!!" (Confessional)

General Barracuda says: "I couldn't have POSSIBLY done anything wrong THIS time!!!! Everything was PERFECT!!!! My batteries have full juice in them, my remote is brand new, I tested it earlier, so I KNOW its supposed to work; it's not from the ACME corporation, so why isn't Team Retro CRASHING?!!!!!!" General Barracuda suddenly notices a sticky note in the supply closet! General Barracuda takes it and reads: "Dear, General Barracuda, thanks for making the devices on Team Retro's cars so EASY to find and remove! They are sabotaged now, PERFECTLY! Signed, yours VERY untruly, KAPUT?! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CURSE Kaput and his NEED for sabotage!!!! So HELP me, if his team LOSES this challenge, I'll make SURE that it's HE who gets the BOOT!!!! I don't CARE if I get FIRED!!!! Nobody is going to mess up MY perfect plans to get MY hand-picked season winner all the way to the END, especially NOT when I went the trouble to KEEP that stupid micro-chip HIDDEN from Sniz and Fondue, instead of destroying it like I was SUPPOSED to! Mark my words, Kaput will pay with his HAIR for this!!!!" (End Confessional) Taotie says: "Looks like Kaput has been wrecked! Looks like I have to do the sabotaging, as USUAL!!!!" Spongebob screams: "Sabotage THIS!!!!" And he SLAMS into Taotie's car, and wrecks it!!!! (Confessional) Taotie says: "Something is UP with Spogebob! I know he's supposed to be a TERRIBLE driver! But this time, it's like he INTENDED to get ME out of the race! And I'm supposed to be the one who does the TRASH removal!!!! I'll find up what's up if it's the LAST thing I do!" / Spongebob sniffs and says: "I LOVE the smell of victory in the afternoon! It smells like engine oil!" (End Confessional)

Dog exits out of his second lap and into his final one, but so does Spongebob!!!! Dog says: "Oh, no you DON'T!!!! You won't take me out THAT easily!!!!" Spongebob angrily says: "Take a clue!!!! Or better YET..." Spongebob grabs a banana, and eats the fruit part, leaving the peel! Spongebob says: "Make like a banana and SPLIT!!!!" Spongebob THROWS the banana, causing Dog to spin out, and CRASH!!!! (Confessional) Dog says: "I wasn't hurt, but I wish Cat was here. He would NEVER let ANYBODY, not even SPONGEBOB push ME around!!!! This isn't LIKE him! He better not end up on OUR team!" (End Confessional) Sniz comes out and says: "It looks like the contestants, or what's left of them, is starting to come around the final bend! Say, General Barracuda, why is there a BIG hole instead of the steel door to the cock-pit? Fondue just HAD that steel door installed!!!!" Fondue angrily says: "Nobody, say the word, 'DOOR', to ME!!!!" General Barracuda angrily says: "I DON'T want to TALK about it!!!! It's just another one of Spongebob's hissy fits, and I had to FIX it!!!! Thank you for NOT asking!!!!" Fondue sarcastically says: "You're welcome!" Sniz says: "And the first racer to finish IS...SPONGEBOB?!!!" Fondue asks: "Let me guess, your HELP, General Barracuda?" General Barracuda says: "YEP!!!!" Fondue asks: "But how did you...?" General Barracuda says: "A good General NEVER reveals his secrets for victory! Sniz says: "And here come the others! Marlene and Captain Retro! Tigress and Po! Suzie, Reggie, Otto, Skipper, King Julien, Wally, Sanjay, Robot, Globitha, Norbert, Super Chum, Bulma, Dudley, Chameleon, Heffer, Oonski, Stimpy, Rocko, and Daggett! Time to tally up the results!" /

Sniz says: "Once again, one thing is VERY clear! Team Retro is the ONLY team that got all of their contestants across the finish line, so they win immunity once again!!!! And they get to keep ALL of the money they won at the casino, as a BONUS!!!! Of course, they'll also get to swap someone, but that's actually the part that's NOT clear!!!!" Fondue says: "Both Team Adversity and Team S.R.R.R.C. only got five contestants across the finish line!" Sniz says: "That means that we go to a TIE-Breaker question! Bring out the Tie-Breaker pedestal!!!! And Jenny pushes in the tie-breaker pedestal from "Legends of the Hidden Temple!" Sniz says: "Teams, pick a contestant to answer whatever question we come up with. Whoever gets the question right, gets second place status for their team. And NO follow-up questions!" Stanley asks: "Super Chum, is one of your super-powers infinite knowledge?" Super Chum says: "No. Fanboy says that when HE reaches full superhero potential, he wants the massive brain knowledge!" Zim says: "Leave it to ME!!!! I'm the alien with extra-terrestrial knowledge! Team S.R.R.R.C. can't compete with THAT!!!!" Stanley desperately says: "Do it! Do it so we don't HAVE to face elimination!!!!" Bulma says: "I'm volunteering! No WAY am I letting any of YOU lightweights jinx THIS for us!!!!" Keswick says: "Okay, but if you're wrong, we may have to eliminate YOU!!!!" Bulma says: "Then I don't think that will be a problem!" The two contestants go up to the pedestal. Sniz says: "Since we're in a city full of racing, this is a question about Driver's Licenses. True or False, in the animated series of Catdog, Dog obtained his driver's license BEFORE Cat did?!" Zim buzzes in, and Sniz asks: "Yes?!!!" Zim freaks out and asks: "Are you SERIOUS with this QUESTION?!!! Who CARES about DOG?!!! You should care about ME!!!! I'm the only one with any KNOWLEDGE on my team! The only one WORTH caring about! The only one who has over 10,000 fan-fictions WRITTEN about HIM!!!! Give a question about ME!!!!"

A buzzer sounds, and Sniz says: "OOH!!!! WAY off course, Zim! Not even close, and I'm APPALLED!!!! Seeing as how Dog is YOUR team-mate, you should KNOW all about him!" Bulma buzzes in and Sniz asks: "Yes?" Bulma says: "TRUE, obviously, Dog FINISHED every single session of his driving courses, but Cat didn't!!!!" Sniz says: "Absolutely correct! Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool; you have DODGED an elimination ceremony!!!! Team Adversity, I'd say ALL of you are going to face elimination, but that's not going to be the case, Team Retro has the chance to SWAP for one of you!" Captain Retro says: "And we will! We trade Spongebob, for Wally!" Sniz says: "It's settled then! Wally, you are now on Team Retro!!!! Spongebob, you're on Team Adversity! But don't worry! Since you participated for Team Retro, you cannot be voted off tonight! Remember THAT, Team Adversity! Everyone else on Team Adversity is fair game, in the elimination ceremony!" / In First Class, Wally is hugging every member on Team Retro! Wally happily says: "It's so good to BE here!" Stimpy happily says: "Good to have you aboard, my friend!" Norbert happily says: "Very enthusiastic!" Rocko happily says: "Glad to have you here!" Po happily says: "You can REALLY shine here!" Captain Retro happily says: "We have a good ally in you!" Wally happily says: "Thanks for saving me, you guys. Although, I'll kind of miss my contestants on Team Adversity; but I'll play with you just as hard as I did with them. I promise, I won't hold back!" Reggie says: "You made a good call, Captain Retro!" Captain Retro says: "We should actually be thankful to Kaput. He thought he was sabotaging our cars, earlier. But in truth, he actually SABOTAGED General Barracuda's sabotaging! Only Spongebob was supposed to finish in our team! If Kaput didn't try his old tricks, this wouldn't be possible!" Suzie says: "So we dodged a bullet, so to speak!" Robot says: "It would seem, so!"

Captain Retro says: "Still, this is no time to get T.O.C.T.B.I. syndrome!!!!" Marlene asks: "T.O.C.T.B.I. syndrome?" Captain Retro says: "Totally Over-Confidant, Then Blowing It syndrome! I thought you would know about it, having been in the Final Three last season!" Stimpy says: "I don't know what it is, either! Explain it to us!" Captain Retro says: "According to my extensive viewings, re-viewings, and MORE re-viewings of every episode of this show; to date, no team has EVER managed to make it 19 episodes in a season WITHOUT finishing in last place at least once! We've just finished our 18th episode STRAIGHT without winding in last place EVER! No other team can POSSIBLY say that!" Sanjay says: "So all we got to do is AVOID the T.O.C.T.B.I. syndrome, and we're golden!" Captain Retro says: "It's not going to be so simple! I mean, do you have ANY idea how jealous the other two teams ARE of our crazy success?! They're going to be getting DESPERATE to make us lose in last place, they'll throw out crazy temptations for us, to throw a challenge! A good rule of thumb, is that if something sounds WAY too good to be true, it probably IS!!!! We can't let our guard down!" Daggett asks: "What's the plan of action? We haven't wound up in last place yet, but we've still lost SOME contestants from our team; we're not invincible!" Captain Retro says: "True, but I'd like to dream an impossible dream, something no team has EVER accomplished! The ability to get through the entire TEAM portion of the game without EVER winding up in last place!" Stimpy asks: "Do you really think we can accomplish it?" Captain Retro says: "We've gotten THIS far without blowing it, yet. We might as will stick together and go all the way!" Wally says: "To Team Retro!!!!" Everyone else says: "To Team Retro!!!!"

(Confessional) Captain Retro says: "Watching every episode of this show, before I came on it, obviously, I can say, with no certain uncertainty, that there may or may not come a time when there may only be two teams eventually. If that happens, it will be much harder for Team Retro to continue to dodge elimination ceremonies! On the other hand, if it remains three teams until the team merge, we might just make it! I just don't know how the challenges are going to play out! Either way, even I can't foresee for sure which way the eliminations are going to go. All I know is that every challenge is going to bring us closer, to a merge of one kind, or another." / Daggett says: "The team I was on in season one? They didn't do so hot, DESPITE being named the Killer Beavers! Our team lost a MAJORITY of the team challenges, NONE of the ACTUAL beavers even got to the Final Seven, and only Otto managed to get to the Final Three! What a difference this season is making! I'm actually DOING very well! Still, Captain Retro is right! We can't afford to get the T.O.C.T.B.I. syndrome! No matter what, I don't plan on being responsible for messing things up THIS time! I plan to remain golden!" / Wally says: "Now that I'm on Team Retro, I strangely have mixed emotions. On the one hand, its nice not to have the pressure of always coming up with ideas to help my team out. On the other hand, I'm not sure how well I'll do in a team of what is mostly, a well-rounded team of Ace players! I don't plan on disappearing, but it's hard for one contestant to make a difference in a team of 14, compared to 12. I wonder how my old team is going to do without me?" / Spongebob bitterly says: "Being transferred to Team Adversity? Ehhh, tragic, to say the least. But I STILL have the upper hand! Nobody else even KNOWS about the secret bond General Barracuda and I have; no one! And it is going to STAY that way! Mark my words, I WILL get to the Final Three somehow!" (End Confessional)

Team Adversity is at the Elimination Ceremony. Sniz says: "Spongebob, enjoy the first bag of popcorn, as your immunity demands! As for the rest of you, there are 11 contestants you can choose from. One of you is going to take the plunge! Who do you think it should be?!" Randolph angrily says: "It should be ZIM, for crying out LOUD!!!! You've known Dog for TWO seasons, and you don't even KNOW that he got his Driver's License before Cat DID?!!!" Zim sarcastically says: "Excuse ME for not CARING about every STUPID, INSIPID detail of your BORING little lives!!!! Need I remind you that we wouldn't even BE in such a predicament if it weren't for STANLEY!!!!" Stanley asks: "What have I ever DONE that was WRONG?!!!" Zim says: "Only making Spongebob go off the DEEP end, and allowing him to kick our collective BUTTS in the challenge that just happened, for ONE! I think it's high time we got rid of ONE sponge, for a sponge who is SO much better at EVERYTHING!!!!" Stanley asks: "Patrick, use your brain coral, man!!!!" Patrick says: "I don't have unlimited knowledge, but I won't vote you off, you can count on that!" Stanley says: "Thank you, friend!" Sniz says: "Discussion time is over! It's time, to vote!!!!" (Confessional)

Spongebob stamps Stanley's pass-port, and mockingly says: "Bye-bye, Stanely INFERIOR-Pants!!!!" / Stanley stamps Zim's pass-port and says: "It's out of my hands, now." / Patrick stamps Zim's pass-port and says: "I've done all I can do." / Zim stamps Stanley's pass-port, and Zim angrily says: "See you NEVER, loser!!" / Randolph stamps Zim's pass-port and says: "I'll teach YOU to give Dog the respect and LOVE he deserves!" / Dog stamps Stanley's pass-port and says: "I don't take Zim's lack of my personal knowledge personally. He could still be useful to us. Stanley? Not so much." / Phoebe stamps Stanley's pass-port and she says: "I can't afford to vote off Zim. His alien knowledge skills could still be helpful to me." / Super Chum stamps Zim's pass-port and says: "I REALLY hope you are GONE, this time!" / Otto stamps Stanley's pass-port and says: "LOSER!!!! You are so O-U-T, OUT!!!!" / Skipper stamps Stanley's pass-port and says: "You're a danger to my master plan! You're out of here!" / Guano sighs and says: "I really don't know who to vote for!" / King Julien contemplates his decision and says: "I think Guano and I just might be the swing votes for this whole thing! It makes me SO nervous!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "I've got 11 more contestants, but only ten more bags of popcorn. You want to stay? You're going to NEED one of these! Patrick! Randolph, Dog, Phoebe, Super Chum, Otto, Skipper, King Julien, Guano!" Stanley and Zim look at each other nervously, as they are the only two left! Sniz says: "Quite a predicament. Zim, you've been at the bottom two quite a few times this season! You've been lucky so far, but has your luck FINALLY run out? Stanley, you've never BEEN in the bottom two before! Perhaps you are safe!!!! With that being said, the Final Bag of Popcorn, goes TO...!!!!" And the music rises, making everyone nervous and on edge! Sniz finally shouts: "ZIM!!!!" Zim says: "YES!!!! I KNEW you'd make the right call!"

Sniz says: "Sorry Stanley, but Guano and King Julien's votes for you was all it took to prevent the elimination from being a tie. Drop of Shame awaits." Stanley grabs his parachute and says: "At least I made it past the second Performance Review, that's by FAR, further than I thought I would ever get! And Spongebob, I am SO sorry I ticked you OFF!!!! Please!!!! If you're STILL capable of showing forgiveness, please let me know you care!!!!" And Spongebob stops, almost as if some part of him still remembers! Zim angrily says: "Get out of here, already!!!!" And Zim SHOVES Stanley out of the plane, and Spongebob snaps back to being bad! Stanley opens up his parachute and shouts: "REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sniz says: "And with that, we are down to 37 contestants, with only 11 of those BEING from Team Adversity! Will Team Adversity be able to cope with having a number's disadvantage again? Can Team Retro avoid getting the T.O.C.T.B.I. syndrome? How will Wally and Spongebob fare on different teams? These questions may or may not be answered, on the next episode of Total Cartoon Global Cruise!" / Epilogue: Stanley actually LANDS in the ocean, and lands right in the front yard of Uncle Sherm! From off-screen, Uncle Sherm says: "STANLEY!!!! Did you FINALLY get eliminated?!!!" Stanley sadly says: "Yes. Were you expecting me to?" Uncle Sherm says: "Are you serious?!!! I'm $4,000 RICHER because of you! Everybody else counted you a GONER before episode two! But not me, I stood up for you, I said you would make it past the SECOND Performance Review, and you did! You made me proud, Stanley!" Stanley says: "I'm so glad for that!" Uncle Sherm says: "Hey! I heard Girly Teengirl just gave birth to Craig Mammalton's two boys, Marty and Tony! She's available to date again, and she wants to see you!" Stanley gasps and excited asks: "ME?!!! She wants to see ME?!!! I've got to go see her right away!!!!" And Stanley runs off, Uncle Sherm shouts: "Be sure to bring me back some Bran Flakes, with the bold, new flavor!" /

Episode Notes: Stanley Squarepants gets eliminated with this episode. With this episode's epilogue, this marks the first time that an ELIMINATED contestant has been seen in the epilogue, and the first time Uncle Sherm has been heard, but not seen. Team Retro wins $56,000 combined in casino money, and they swap Wally for Spongebob. This marks the third episode to have four songs in it. Specifically, "Stand Back" (also mentioned as part of the episode title), "Poor Unfortunate Souls, Bad," and "Speed Demon!" This also marks the first time that a Disney song has been used (albeit, slightly altered to fit story context) and the first time a Michael Jackson song has been used in an episode. This also marks the first time this season that Spongebob doesn't sing with his own voice in a song (as he sometimes does in his ACTUAL show!) General Barracuda takes away Spongebob's free will, in exchange for making him a good driver, FINALLY giving Spongebob his driver's license! /

Personal Notes: Up until now, Spongebob's relevance in this season has been little to almost non-existent. Despite being a starring force in his own show; because Spongebob is surrounded by so many other contestants who are FAR more capable and competent in this season than in any season he's been in prior, Spongebob has been feeling pushed aside and over-looked. This episode was made to prove that EVERYBODY has a breaking point, even someone like Spongebob! One of the themes of this season has been a very fundamental question; how far would YOU go to get something that you DESPERATELY wanted?! And if you went that far, would it all be worth it in the end? That's one of the reasons why this season has a PG rating, the moral answer isn't as cut clean and obvious as it was in the first two seasons. Sometimes, tough choices have to be made, and it always hinges on the morals of the majority at large. That's a theme that I wanted to explore this season. Also, Stanley was the second one-time character that I wanted to feature from "Spongebob Squarepants." I wanted to show that there was a LOT more to Stanley than being a klutz! For the most part, he was a very nice guy. But like his cousin Spongebob, he was PAINFULLY oblivious to social cues, and lack of discretion. It's this weakness of Stanley's that ultimately sent Spongebob over the edge, and caused Stanley's own elimination. Stanley's story may have ended, but Spongebob's story is only beginning! / That's my episode idea for today! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

It's time for another new episode of "Total Cartoon Global Cruise!" Things are about to get COOL!! /

Sniz is in the cock-pit and says: "Previously, on Total Cartoon Global Cruise, there were 38 contestants who had their sites set on $44.44 million in cold hard cash! The next challenge to get most of them closer to their goal, was designed by none other, than General Barracuda!!!!" General Barracuda says: "And I, have a very WILD definition of the word, 'Fun!' I took everyone to the tiny European nation of San Marino. There, each contestant had to win $4,000 at the casino, and use it to enter into an EXTREME race in the San Marino race track! Everyone except Spongebob! When Spongebob heard that his cousin STANLEY, had a driver's license, Spongebob TOTALLY lost it! Spongebob, desperate to get a Driver's License, went to ME for help! I saw an opportunity to get ahead, so I agreed to make Spongebob a good driver, in exchange for Spongebob's free will! Using Snaptrap's micro-chip, I transformed Spongebob, from an innocent do-gooder, into a totally nasty BAD sponge with ATTITUDE!!!! While Spongebob's new attitude helped him drive and helped his team win the race, it caused a rift within his team! As it turns out, the reward for the winning team, was all the money they won at the casino, and the opportunity to swap one member of their team, for a member of the losing team. And so, Spongebob was swapped for Wally, as Team Adversity faced another elimination. Sadly, it was none other, than Spongebob's own COUSIN, Stanley S. Squarepants, who had to take the drop of shame!"

Sniz says: "Now we are down to 37 contestants, and I am SO ready to host this next challenge! There's no telling where we will end up next, but one thing is for sure, you won't want to miss a minute of exciting action, on Total Cartoon Global Cruise! It will be COOL!!!!" / "Girl From Ipanema Goes to Greenland!" /

In the shower room, Captain Retro and Marlene have entered in together for some private alone time. Marlene says: "I am SO glad you decided to come in with me! I am SO excited!" Captain Retro asks: "Are you gonna show me your secret BEAUTY secrets?!" Marlene says: "NO! Silly, I thought of a GREAT way we can go green, have fun, and be together, all at the same time!" Captain Retro asks: "Really? What's that?" Marlene happily shouts: "We can take SHOWERS together!!!!" Captain Retro, unsure, says: "That seems a little...unusual, don't you think?" Marlene says: "Don't tell me your MODEST!!!!" Captain Retro says: "In my dimension, we HAVE no concept of 'modesty' OR 'shame!' I technically don't NEED to wear clothes, but I do it so that my image of being a super-hero can be plainly seen!" Marlene says: "Then are you nervous?" Captain Retro blushes, and admits: "Yeah, a little. I've never actually SHOWERED with a woman before!" Marlene says: "I don't see what you have to be nervous about. I don't even WEAR clothes anyways! You don't find THAT odd, or unusual!" Captain Retro says: "I have no reason to find it odd. Even so, I'm just worried that I'm going to trip, or, get nervous or something!" Marlene says: "Captain Retro, I promise that you'll have NOTHING to worry about! It's going to be completely casual! Besides, I think it will help you out when we get more...SOCIAL, so to speak!!!!" Captain Retro says: "Well, I am committed to being with you. Very well, I suppose it's better to cure my nervousness with someone I know, than with a total stranger!"

(Confessional) Captain Retro says: "This dimension continues to throw surprises at me. I never expected Marlene to ever want to do something of such an unusual nature. Then again, her being together with me HAS opened up her mind to new possibilities, so it's only fair to expect that she would want to do the same for me. What kind of guy would I be if I didn't try to live what I believed in? If Po and Tigress can take a shower together, so can we!" / Marlene says: "Often times, it's hard to forget that despite being more knowledgeable than Skipper is; Captain Retro doesn't just dive head first into things. He takes his time to consider his options carefully. Often, that's a good thing. You don't want to rush into situations that you're going to regret later; but sometimes, the only way to tackle problems, is to take the bull by the horns! Metaphorically speaking, of course!" (End Confessional) Hidden in shadow behind the curtain, Captain Retro and Marlene are taking their shower together! Marlene asks: "Isn't this GREAT?!!! We're cleaning up twice as much, and using only HALF of the water it would USUALLY take!" Captain Retro sighs contentedly and says: "I admit, it's not that bad!" Marlene says: "I wouldn't say so! You're REALLY happy about this, aren't you?!!!" Captain Retro chuckles and says: "I told you people from my dimension have no sense of modesty. I could probably even give Zarbon a run for his money if I had to!"

Marlene says: "Can I ask you something?" Captain Retro says: "Well, we're both not clothed together in the shower, you can ask me anything." Marlene asks: "Are you truly happy about all the decisions you have made since you came onto this show?" Captain Retro says: "I've made a lot of decisions; but in terms of loving you, I'm happy with all the decisions I have made. Are you not?" Marlene says: "Well, I am happy; but it's hard not to feel some regret for Skipper. I mean, sure, he and King Julien make a pretty cute item. But it's not easy to leave one's ex holding the bag, so to speak." Captain Retro says: "I wouldn't know; I've never BEEN in a truly romantic relationship before!" Marlene says: "I was just thinking, if I got to third place again this year, maybe I should give some of the portion of the $42,000,000 to Skipper. He DID technically win it, and I want to show him there are no hard feelings between us." Captain Retro says: "I think it's a really good idea; it would show him that you want to remain good friends with him." Marlene says: "Of course, I plan on having the majority of that prize money split between the two of us, just based on principle, you understand." Captain Retro says: "There's nothing wrong with that. I am actually very impressed with you." Marlene asks: "Why?"

Captain Retro says: "This is a very mature, kind, responsible thing you're doing for Skipper. You wouldn't have done that last season." Marlene blushes and says: "Well, I think I've matured a lot since meeting you. I mean, I even became real friends with Treeflower! Last season, I never could've done that! Of course, I don't think she could've either, but that's not the point I want to make! I'm just glad I get to spend time with you! I can ask you anything, and you don't get judgmental about what I have to ask." Captain Retro says: "Well, I try NOT to get judgmental. I'm not always successful, but I always try my best." Marlene says: "That's all I'd ask from you. Will you kiss me?" Captain Retro romantically says: "I thought you would NEVER ask!" And they both hug and kiss each other! Than they hear a VOICE, from above, from WALLY!!!! Wally is also unclothed and says: "Good move!!!! Now tell each other how much you can't LIVE without the other one!!!!" Marlene loses her composure and falls out of the shower! Captain Retro turns it off!

(Confessional) Wally is unclothed and asks: "Was it something I said?" / Captain Retro has his mask back on, but is otherwise unclothed! Captain Retro says: "It seems that Wally also has his quirks. He's...used to showering together with his comrades! In a way, he's been green longer than most of us here! Still, it's seems weird that he would be in there. I need to ask what he wants!" / Marlene shakes off her water and says: "Note to self; from now on, always check on the ceiling of the shower room BEFORE taking a shower!" (End Confessional) Captain Retro wraps a towel around himself, and asks: "What are you doing in here?" Wally says: "I was ABOUT to take my shower, but you came in, and you blocked my exit out of the door!" Marlene asks: "Why didn't you TELL us you were already in here?" Wally says: "I'm not upset that you're seeing me naked, Gus sees it all the time!" Captain Retro says: "Well, maybe Marlene would be upset to know that you were WATCHING her take a shower!" Wally says: "But she's unclothed all the time ANYWAYS!!!! Besides, you just said yourself that you have no sense of shame or modesty!" Captain Retro says: "You...got me there." Wally says: "The truth of the matter is, I came in here to think." Marlene asks: "What about?" Wally says: "I got word from Yay-Ok. His updates have made him into such an efficient piece of technology, he's managed to re-work the Rocket Monkey unit into an efficient piece of crime-fighting technology! I'm really not needed as a Rocket Monkey anymore. I'd just...get in the way." Marlene says: "But you're Admiral Wally, his smartness!"

Wally asks: "What good is smarts if you can't use them to prove yourself? I'm glad Yay-Ok has straightened my brother out, and is doing a good job of leading, but I liked being a Rocket Monkey. I don't know what else to do!" Captain Retro says: "Just always know, we can support you in just about anything!" Wally perks up and SOMEHOW, literally gets an energy efficient light-bulb over his head! Marlene says: "COSMO!!!!" Cosmo says: "Just making the joke literal!" Wally says: "You two love each other, right?!" Marlene says: "Only a lot!" Wally asks: "And Captain Retro, you really like ME a lot, right?!" Captain Retro says: "Of course I do! Your source of untapped potential is practically limitless!" Wally says: "I've got a GREAT idea!! Why don't you two ADOPT me?! I can be the best son you two DON'T yet have!" Captain Retro says: "But we're not even MARRIED!!" Marlene says: "YET!!" Captain Retro asks: "What do you mean?" Marlene says: "We've been together long enough, to know neither of us are going to go anywhere else!" Captain Retro asks: "Are you about to ask me, what I THINK you're about to ask me?!" Marlene says: "By the way, is your name ACTUALLY Captain Retro?!!!" Captain Retro admits: "Well, no." Marlene says: "I figured the odds of that were statistically...not realistic!" Captain Retro says: "You two have to promise what I'm about to say will be kept between us, and not shared to another soul in the Total Cartoon series!" Wally salutes and says: "Totally!" Marlene says: "You can count on me."

Captain Retro says: "My secret identity is

Matthew Muttson."

Marlene straightens up and says: "Well then, Captain

Matthew Muttson

Retro, will you marry me?" Captain Retro says: "Yes, yes, a thousand times YES!!!!" And he hugs Marlene! With a smile, Marlene says: "It's settled, then! Wally, as soon as Captain Retro and I get married, we will OFFICIALLY adopt you as our son!" Wally air fist pumps and says: "Awesome!!!!" (Confessional)

Wally says: "I cannot believe my good luck! No sooner does one door close, than does another door open! I am SO lucky Captain Retro and Marlene are going to get married, and they're going to adopt me as their son! I mean, it only seems fitting. I would have Captain Retro as my surrogate father, would help make sense that I could be, Admiral Wally, His Smartness! I will make my adoptive parents proud!" / Captain Retro says: "Good deeds come second nature to me. Instead of instantly judging Wally for being in the shower with us, I first want to know if he has a good reason as to why. Technically speaking, it WAS our fault we went into the shower without first checking to see if there was anybody in there! But you know, I like the idea of adoption. It would help me see if Marlene and I would make good, REAL parents! A lot of couples don't GET that kind of practice, so if we can help Wally feel like part of a family, that's only a bonus from MY perspective!" (Captain Retro notices his Orb of Infinite Wisdom is glowing again!) Captain Retro asks: "What could I possibly have given up that would warrant the Orb to glow? WAIT!!!! I just gave up my independence, to be with Marlene and Wally! I can learn another new ability! I think I'll learn how to use X-Ray vision, so I don't have to rely on cheap play spectacles any longer! Plus, I would TOTALLY be able to control when I saw things with my X-Ray vision, and when I don't! I wonder if I will see through lead?" /

Marlene says: "Honestly, we could do a LOT worse in adoption choices! I mean, Wally is already house-broken, he's nice, he talks, and he's pretty smart! Plus, I get to keep my figure! I am OFFICIALLY the best woman IN this entire game right now!!!!" (End Confessional)

Meanwhile, Team Adversity and Team S.R.R.R.C. are not at ALL impressed to be in normal class again! Otto groans and screams: "UGH!!!! I am getting SICK and TIRED of the cheap-o economy pickings!!!! Why can't I DOMINATE over stupid Team Retro?!!!" Phoebe says: "Face the facts, Otto. Team Retro's team unity is too strong." Guano says: "And worst of all, they've got Wally, now. He was like, the most COMPETENT contestant out of all of us, and he was a Rocket Monkey!" Otto says: "Have you forgotten that I'm a ROCKET?!!! If anybody's going to take our team BACK into victory, it's going to be ME! I mean, who got ALL the way to the Final Three?!!!" Randolph says: "Dog, obviously!" Otto rolls his eyes and says: "Okay, BESIDES him!" Dog asks: "Stimpy J. Cat?" Otto shouts: "ME!! I'm referring to ME!!" Patrick says: "That was going to be my NEXT guess!" Zim asks: "Why should YOU get to be the leader of the pack?! You're addicted to thrill-speaking, Twister told us about it, and you rarely think things through RATIONALLY!!"

Otto asks: "Has that ever stopped me before? Of course not! I have never backed away from a challenge before!" Spongebob sarcastically says: "Except when you up and QUIT in the very first episode of THIS season, just because your singing voice SUCKED the lemon truck!!!!" Otto bitterly says: "You are SO lucky I'm not allowed to hit you this season! Technically, I still CAN, but not without getting a penalty vote! Why didn't YOU get a penalty vote when YOU hit Oonski?!!!" Spongebob says: "I had IMMUNITY, remember?!!! That immunity cancelled out the penalty vote I would've received!" Super Chum says: "He's got you there, Otto." Skipper says: "The answer is OBVIOUS! I should be the one, to put Team Adversity back on track! 'Winner' is my MIDDLE name!!" King Julien says: "I didn't even know you HAD a middle name!" Skipper whispers: "I DON'T!! I am using a METAPHOR!!" King Julien blushes and chuckles: "Sorry!" Otto rolls his eyes and says: "All right! Impress me! Just remember, Skipper, you've already been ELIMINATED once this season before!" Spongebob says: "So have YOU, loser!!!!" Otto angrily says: "DON'T tempt me into hitting you, because unlike YOU, I can TOTALLY kick YOUR butt, whereas YOU could NEVER kick MINE!!!!"

Spongebob says: "Bring it ON!!!! I would LOVE to see you TRY...and fail, just like you did to make Angelica LOVE you!" Otto says: "I didn't FAIL!!!! I out-grew HER!!!! There's a BIG difference, you IDIOT!!!!" Spongebob retorts: "Adrenaline junkie!" Otto says: "Bubble blower!" Spongebob says: "Skater boy!" Otto says: "Water sucker!" Spongebob says: "Air breather!" Otto says: "Gulf streamer!" Spongebob says: "Bike rider!" Otto says: "Chum chewer!!!!" Spongebob GASPS and reverts to his NORMAL self!! Spongebob nervously says: "Take that BACK!!!! You...not, WET person!!" Otto says: "AHA!!!! Just as I thought! Your new behavior is PHONY!! You can't even come up with another NAME!! That PROVES I'll outlast YOU!! Then again, I suppose there's nothing new about THAT, is there? After all, a sponge CAN'T compete with a rocket!!!!"

Patrick says: "How DARE you talk to my best friend like that?!" Otto scoffs and says: "Ho-HO!!!! Your 'BEST FRIEND' made YOU crash and BURN in the last challenge, and thought nothing of it!" Patrick says: "He was on the other TEAM!!!! And need I remind you, HE made the team merge LAST season whereas YOU didn't, and has STATISTICALLY outlasted you in MORE challenges over-all!" Otto says: "STUPID LUCK, that's all! I have ACTUAL skills!!!!" Patrick says: "Mark my words, Spongebob and I are SO going to show YOU up this season! And you're going to be SORRY you ever doubted our abilities when you get eliminated AGAIN!!!!" Otto scoffs and sarcastically says: "I'll believe THAT, when I SEE it!!!!" Otto walks away, and Patrick says: "Oh, you'll SEE it!!!! You'll ALL see it!!!!"

(Confessional) Spongebob says: "I don't understand! I thought I was BAD!!!! Does the micro-chip have an expiration date or something? I'm supposed to BE the one pushing others around! I can't let Otto show me up!" / Otto says: "I never believed Spongebob could genuinely be BAD; and I knew General Barracuda would NEVER create a situation that could go OUT of his control!!!! I had Zim check it out himself with his alien technology, General Barracuda didn't ACTUALLY put the micro-chip into Spongebob, he put in a Game Boy Advance cartridge that looks just LIKE the micro-chip into Spongebob, and put the micro-chip label OVER the game label! General Barracuda used psychology, not technology to get Spongebob to learn how to drive! So, I just used a little psychology of my own, to BEAT General Barracuda at his OWN game! Nobody stops the OTTO from winning what should be rightfully HIS!!!! I will NOT be denied AGAIN!!!!" / Patrick angrily says: "Otto thinks he's so tough and superior?! Well, I'm not putting up with HIS superior attitude this season; the kid gloves are OFF!!!! He wants a challenge, I'll give him one! I hoped I wouldn't have to actually USE my brain coral this season, but Otto needs a lesson in humility, and I cannot do it at my normal brain capacity! But believe me, I will show Otto that I can be both SMART, and have humility! I do this, to protect Spongebob's honor!" (End Confessional)

Sniz is relaxing in his V.I.P. hot tub, along with Norbert and Daggett! Sniz says: "This sure is the LIFE, isn't it, Norbert?!!!" Norbert says: "You know how to treat me and Daggett, that's for sure!" Daggett says: "You said it! I have NEVER enjoyed a season of this show, as much as I have enjoyed THIS one!" Fondue asks: "By the way, where are we going next?" Sniz says: "Someplace personal to me. I want to go to Ipanema, and see my girlfriend; Katie Isaprettylady! She's a ferret, just like me! I call her the girl from Ipanema! Want to see her photo?!!!" Norbert and Daggett see a very BLOND, tall, beautiful ferret, wearing a zebra-styled shirt-dress! Daggett asks: "WAIT!!!! You're a FERRET?!!! I always thought you were some over-grown hamster, or something!" Sniz groans and says: "Fondue and I had the misfortune to be BORN without ferret tails, its a genetic defect." Norbert looks at the photo, and says: "She looks just like a ferret version of Nicole Sullivan!!!!" Sniz asks: "REALLY?!!!" He pulls out an autographed photo from Nicole Sullivan, saying: "Thanks for all the support! Nicole!" Nicole is wearing a red dress in the photo, and although the facial and height features are very similar, Sniz says: "I don't see the resemblance!" Daggett asks: "Where IS Ipanema, anyways?!" Sniz says: "Only a very tropical spot, a beach in Brazil, near Rio De Janeiro!" (BRING!!!!)

Sniz says: "That would be Katie calling to confirm our rendezvous right now!" Sniz grabs his cell phone and answers it. Sniz says: "Hello?! 'Not going to BE there?!!!' What do you MEAN, 'Not going to BE there?!!!' Wait. 'You've LOST someone?' Who IS that, 'Someone?' Are, 'You leaving?' Oh, 'Not ME!!' But, 'You've GOT to go there?!' Why?! OH! I see 'Why.' If it's THAT important, I'll meet you THERE instead! Bye!" Sniz pushes his communicator and, speaks over the intercom! Sniz says: "Change of plans, everybody! I planned to take us to Ipanema, but my girlfriend, Katie, needs to meet me in the city of Nuuk, instead! That's in Greenland! We're going to Greenland, for the NEXT challenge!!!!" General Barracuda says: "Whatever! I still get PAID for flying the plane!" And General Barracuda changes course! Dudley says: "Greenland! It's so weird how despite its name, only 25% of it is actually green, you are going to be SO cold there, Chameleon!" Chameleon says: "Actually, I don't know how to tell you this; but, my body temperature isn't dependent on the outside weather anymore!" Dudley asks: "What do you mean?" Chameleon smiles and says: "Somehow, I HAVE become, warm-blooded!!!!"

Dudley asks: "How is that possible?" Keswick comes in and says: "I'll tell you how it's possible! I've compared samples of D.N.A. from Chameleon, before he got his shape-changing suit, and after it was destroyed. In the 'Before' sample, the D.N.A. of Chameleon was completely normal; cold-blooded, reptilian, and could only change colors. But in the 'After' sample, Chameleon's D.N.A. soaked up a LOT of the nano-changing particles, that made up the shape-changing suit! These nano-particles, while no longer attached to a suit, seem to be changing Chameleon in ANOTHER way! This change, has been triggered by LOVE!!!!" Dudley and Chameleon simultaneously ask: "LOVE?!!!" Keswick says: "Oddly enough, yes! Chameleon's altered D.N.A., has been getting excited ever since he started being in close proximity to Dudley! It seems the more and more that Chameleon hangs out in love with YOU, Dudley, the more of your qualities that he seems to ABSORB from you! That includes being warm-blooded, shedding less frequently, and, even slowly becoming more good-looking!" Chameleon says: "I do admit, my skin shedding has dropped to a VERY low level, and my skin complexion has improved significantly!" Dudley says: "Wow! A warm-blooded reptile!" Keswick says: "It might be the technology, but I still call it evolution! Chameleon, you should feel really proud of yourself! Chameleon happily says: "I am!" Dudley says: "Chameleon, I still liked you before, but now, right now, you're REALLY looking good!" Chameleon says: "I won't forget where I came from!" And they hug each other! (Confessional)

Keswick says: "On the one hand, I'm glad Kitty isn't here right now. She probably wouldn't be able to accept all these changes going on between Chameleon and Dudley. She probably would've slowed them down. But Kitty, if you're watching this, I want you to know that I'm available for anything! Just saying!" / Dudley says: "The reason I've been kind to Chameleon, is because my mom raised me right! You show caring and courtesy to others, and you will always be rewarded in kind! It's just karma in action!" / Chameleon says: "You know, I think I've officially learned something by going through this season, with Dudley. My life isn't anything that has already been determined by fate, my life is what I make it! I can MAKE my own choices, and I CHOOSE to be someone good, worthy of being loved and loving by and to Dudley! Although, from what I've heard, a heart is not judged by how much any one person loves, but by how much they are loved by others. I paraphrased that from The Wizard of Oz, truth be told." (End Confessional) The plane travels to Nuuk, Greenland, and the plane touches down at the airport! Captain Retro says: "All right, guys, we better get our parkas on!" And Captain Retro pushes a button, that produces parkas for himself and his whole team! /

The three teams all get off the plane. Every team EXCEPT Team Retro, Dudley, and Chameleon, is shivering in the cold! Sniz is also wearing a warm parka and says: "Welcome to Greenland! Land where Vikings once roamed, once home to Leif Ericson, who discovered this land for the Norse, in the year 1000!" Guano sarcastically says: "WONDERFUL news! Anything ELSE you forgot to mention?!" Sniz says: "The purpose of this challenge, of course! You are going to hunt for Nordic Runes, left behind by the Norse! Actually, they're not real Runes! Since we had no idea if you could READ Norse, let alone speak it, we decided to make up our own runes! Each team will have to search, find, and decipher their runes. Those runes will spell out where you need to go next. The next goal is to dig for hidden rubies, left behind by the Norse Vikings!" Oonski says: "And as a Viking, I've totally GOT this!!!! I will DOMINATE!!!!" Buhdeuce sighs and says: "You better HOPE you didn't just jinx us by SAYING that!" Sniz says: "But finding rubies ISN'T the last part of the challenge, protecting your HOARD from the other teams is! The final portion of the challenge will be an old-fashioned Viking Battle on the Ocean! Last team with their boat still standing, and their loot still intact, wins immunity and ALL the rubies, as a VERY nice reward bonus!!!!" Zarbon asks: "What about the team who finishes in last place? How can we tell?" Sniz says: "Oh, we'll let that be a, surprise to you! There's no telling what could happen today!"

Skipper says: "I'll tell you what is going to happen today! I came to play and win!" King Julien says: "And I, came to play and win, WITH him!" Sniz says: "We'll see just who does the 'playing,' and who does the 'winning!' You've got the whole day to do this challenge, please don't try to drag it out for LONGER than a day! And before I forget, here's a little something to get today's challenge started off RIGHT!!!!" (Beep! Beep! Ba-beep! Beep! Beep!) Sniz says: "You're in Greenland right now, contestants! Think of a song that involves Greenland! Of course, having said that, only one song comes to mind right now, and it even involves my VERY lovely girlfriend! You'll probably see her, today! Whichever team finds her and helps her out, will wind up in safe, second place territory. THAT will determine which team will be the losing team!" Wally says: "Lets sing that song then! I mean, no time like the present!" Captain Retro says: "And the reason it is called the 'present,' is because the present is always a gift! Let's sing this thing!" / During this montage, lots of strange things are seen, and sequences of the contestants walking through the snow, focusing on their feet, are featured! During this sequence, Super Chum thinks he sees ANTI-Timmy's face reflected in the rising moon! /

Genre: New Wave. Sub-Genre: The B-52's! Song: "Girl From Ipanema Goes to Greenland!" Sung by: Cast! / Cast: "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland! Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland!" Bulma: "Witch doctors are screaming!" Marlene: "Nymphs are dreaming!" Skipper: "This girl's lost someone!" King Julien: "Who is that someone?" Guano: "She's leaving!" Team Retro: "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland! Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland!" Po: "Hot latitudes, cool attitudes!" Tigress: "She's leaving!" Captain Retro: "Moon in her mirror, chasing northern lights!" Phoebe: "She goes, ahhh." Team S.R.R.R.C.: "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland! Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland!" (Instrumental solo) Buhdeuce: "Remember, wherever you go, there you are!" Team Adversity: "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland! Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland!" Wally: "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland!" Dog and Randolph: "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland!" Robot and Globitha: "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland!" Cast: "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland!" / And the epic song ends! / Sniz says: "And they're off to do the challenge! Will they find the runes? Will they find the rubies? Will they find my girl?! Stay tuned after the commercial messages, and see which questions, are answered! We'll be right back!" (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

Edited October 12, 2015 by 4EverGreen
Finishing up my episode.

[4EverGreen]

It's time for the second part of my latest "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" episode, "Girl From Ipanema, Goes to Greenland!" /

After the commercials finish, the three teams have spread out, and are digging around to see if they can find any runes. Marlene asks: "Okay, does ANYBODY here have any idea on what runes are SUPPOSED to look like?!" Captain Retro says: "I do. Back at home, I have the whole Runes set, and a book explaining what they are." Suzie asks: "Do you happen to have them WITH you?" Captain Retro says: "No. But, I've used them enough to memorize what they are. The problem is, we're looking for made-up runes, and we have no idea what the symbolism is going to be." Reggie asks: "But do you think you can decipher them?" Captain Retro says: "Probably. I'm very good at deciphering symbolism!" Robot says: "I am to! I happen to be equipped with Rosetta Stone!" Globitha asks: "Isn't that the Egyptian thing?" Robot says: "I'm referring to the software, not a piece of archaeology." Globitha says: "Oh!" Wally says: "If we want to find some runes, we have to dig like we MEAN it! Follow my lead!" And Wally starts using his hands and tail to dig up the snow as fast as he can!" Rocko says: "That's a good idea, my fellow mammal! Dig like we MEAN it!" And Team Retro gets into digging! Po says: "At the rate we're going, we should find the runes in NO time!" Tigress says: "And wind up in first place in no time!" Norbert says: "If all goes well." Daggett says: "Because it can be all too easy for things to NOT go well! There's an elimination ceremony for the losing team, so let's not get cocky, now!" Norbert says: "Well said, my main man!" Sanjay says: "I guess it's probably for the best that Craig isn't here right now, he'd just be miserable." Stimpy asks: "Speaking of miserable, I wonder how Spongebob is doing? Heaven only knows how hard he must have it!" /

The action switches to Team Adversity, as Phoebe, Skipper, King Julien, and Guano are ALL doing a SLOW job of sifting through the snow! Otto screams: "Come ON, people!!!! Seriously!!!! Am I the ONLY one who actually wants to WIN this challenge?!!! Zim, can't your STUPID laser get any hotter?!!!" Zim says: "This is as high as it goes!" Otto says: "Except for Dog and RANDOLPH, all of you are USELESS, even Super Chum!!!! Come ON!!!! Use your STUPID super-powers ALREADY!!!!" Guano sarcastically says: "Oh SURE!!!! Insult the only guy on our team WITH super-powers! That will get you FAR!!!!" Otto says: "I don't even LIKE his STUPID show, ANYWAYS!!!! If they did more extreme tricks like the Wild Grinders, THEN I would be impressed!" Super Chum says: "But I don't want to use my super-powers for such frivolous things. Besides, even though I COULD beat up Otto Rocket, that wouldn't change anything! And it wouldn't make ME feel any better! I could do so much to help the world, but I have no one to guide me in the right direction!" Otto sarcastically says: "Because you can SO totally help the world!!!!" Patrick angrily says: "You know WHAT, Otto?!!! I'm SICK of your LOUSY attitude and your LOUSY personality?!!!" Otto asks: "Want to make something of it?!" Patrick says: "Only if you can keep up with me in MATH!!!!" Otto asks: "Why would I bother?! Math is for UGLY, useless people, with no beauty OR skills!!!!" Patrick says: "Oh, so you're...CHICKEN; THEN!!!!" And THAT gets Otto's attention!!!! Otto angrily says: "NOBODY, calls ME a chicken!!!!" Patrick asks: "All right then! Why can't you divide ANYTHING by zero?!!! By the way, do you know what 'Supply and Demand', are?!!! Hey, OTTO!!!! What's 2 and 2?!!!" Otto scoffs and says: "I didn't come here to SPEAK loser, I came here to WIN!!!!" And Otto turns around and starts digging! Patrick shouts: "Oh, by the WAY!!!! The answer to 6 x 7 is 42!!!!" And Otto growls angrily!!!! Spongebob says: "OOH!!!! Good BURN, Patrick!!!!" Patrick says: "Naturally!"

(Confessional) Super Chum says: "I know I'm meant for something much more important than this show. Just because I behaved so ODDLY as a kid, that doesn't mean I can't become a well-wounded adult, albeit, one with super-powers. My powers weren't meant to be squandered on such trivial things. I should be doing something more productive. The question is, what?" / Patrick says: "I knew all that math would get underneath Otto's skin! He NEEDED to have his ego taken DOWN a notch or SEVEN!!!!" / Spongebob says: "You know what? My friend Patrick, is officially, NOT lame!!!!" / Otto fumes, and angrily says: "How DARE Patrick, of ALL contestants, try to whup ME in an intelligence TEST?!!! If it weren't for that STUPID Brain Coral of his, Patrick would be NOTHING!!!! Just like Spongebob is NOTHING if he found out the TRUTH about what's inside of him!!!! I think it's time for the GENERAL to work for ME, for a CHANGE!!!! Nobody ACES Otto ROCKET out of the competition, especially NOT some STUPID sea star and STUPID sea SPONGE!!!!" (End Confessional) Otto says: "Well, Patrick, if you're SO smart, why don't YOU use your intelligence to figure out where the runes ARE?!!! I've got a FISH to fry!!!!" And Otto runs off!!!! Spongebob, worried, asks: "What did he MEAN, by, he had a FISH to fry?!!!" Patrick, worried, says: "Even I can't figure out what THAT means!!!!" Super Chum sighs and says: "I'd like to wander around for a while, I need to think my situation over." Zim says: "Don't be too long! We've got a challenge to win!" Super Chum walks away and says: "Challenges aren't what's worrying me! What's worrying me, is that there is so much trouble in the world, and I don't know how to start helping it." /

Genre: Madonna. Sub-Genre: Electronic. Song: "Frozen." Sung by: Super Chum! / Super Chum: "You only see what your eyes want to see. How can life be what you want it to be? You're frozen, when your heart's not open. You're so consumed with how much you get. You waste your time with hate and regret. You're broken, when your heart's not open. Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart. Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart. Mmmmmm, give yourself to me. Mmmmmm, you hold the key. Now there's no point in placing the blame. And you should know I suffer the same. If I lose you, my heart will be broken. Love is a bird, she needs to fly. Let all the hurt inside of you die. You're frozen, when your heart's not open. Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart. Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart. Mmmmmm, give yourself to me. Mmmmmm, you hold the key. (Instrumental Solo) You only see what your eyes want to see. How can life be what you want it to be? You're frozen, when your heart's not open. Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart. Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart. Mmmmmm, give yourself to me. Mmmmmm, you hold the key! If I could melt your heart. Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart. Mmmmmm, give yourself to me. Mmmmmm, you hold the key. If I could melt your heart." / And as the epic song ends, Super Chum drops onto his knees, and sighs. But just right then, a familiar figure approaches Super Chum. A very heroic voice asks: "Why are you so depressed? What are you looking for?" Super Chum is initially oblivious as he says: "Oh, I'm just looking for a chance to do some real good in the world and help others. But you wouldn't understand how I...!" Super Chum shakes his head as he REALIZES who has spoken!!!! Super Chum GASPS and asks: "Man-Arctica?!!!"

Man-Arctica reveals himself and says: "The one and only!!!!" Super Chum gasps in happy shock and says: "It IS you!!!! It's been so LONG since I last saw you!!!!" Man-Arctica sighs and says: "And for good reason, to. My powers are ice and chill based. As long as the temperature of the Earth is in balance, me and my powers can operate at optimum efficiency! But over the past few years, the temperature swings have been growing wilder, and my powers are growing weaker! When you called out to me with your song, I BARELY had enough power to reach here to come for you!" Super Chum asks: "Me? Why do you want ME?!!!" Man-Arctica says: "You've changed a lot since you were a kid. You've grown older, wiser. You're no longer interested in the trivial things that you used to be interested in, you want to make a difference!" Super Chum says: "Of course I do! What do you NEED?" Man-Arctica says: "I need YOUR help, Super Chum! You have to help me turn back the tide of what's going on with the Earth! Dr. Seuss was RIGHT! Unless someone like YOU cares a whole awful lot, nothing's going to get better; it's not!" Super Chum asks: "What needs to be done?" Man-Arctica says: "Global Warmer has acquired some powerful new allies. GREED!!!! AVARICE!!!! IGNORANCE!!!! And APATHY!!!! With these allies at his disposal, he's slowly weakening the power of the Earth, it's defenses and strength! Soon, Global Warmer will have weakened the Earth enough for his alien race to do a DIRECT invasion of the Earth!!!! And by that point, even I would be too powerless to fight against it myself! You have to MAKE people aware of the dire situation, Super Chum! You have to make people CARE!!!! If not for themselves, then for their CHILDREN! For their grandchildren! For future generations they probably won't even know! If you want to help save the world, it starts with you!"

Super Chum asks: "Me? How does it start with me?" Man-Arctica says: "Like all things, everything ALWAYS rests on a decision, a decision that can be made by you. The decision is, you can either remain here, and do nothing to help out, or you can choose to take a stand against all the evils that Global Warmer has at his disposal, and help make Earth be the place it DESERVES to be!!!!" Super Chum salutes and says: "Man-Arctica; in good conscious, I cannot idly stand by and let the devastation of our planet carry on any longer! I'll quit this show, and dedicate myself full time to finding like-minded individuals, to aid in our peaceful cause!" Man-Arctica says: "I knew I could count on you, Super Chum! I know you won't let me down! I must go now and retreat back to Antarctica, but I know I will see you there! Until then, farewell!" And Man-Arctica zooms away! Super Chum says: "I'll see you soon!!" / Everyone is still digging for Runes, when Super Chum flies overhead. And cupping his hands over his mouth, his voice sounds like it's coming through a megaphone! Super Chum shouts: "I have an announcement to make! My idol superhero, Man-Arctica, needs my help to fight against Global Warmer, and his powerful allies! I cannot dedicate myself to this game show, when our planet needs help from me and other gifted individuals to fight back against this deteriorating situation! And so, I have decided, as of right now, to drop out of the competition! I wish the rest of you the best of luck! BYE!!!!" And Super Chum flies away, Otto, who has just arrived at the plane, gasps in SHOCK!! Otto screams: "What just HAPPENED?!" General Barracuda comes out and says: "What just happened is that Super Chum made a choice! He's no longer INTERESTED in the petty little feuds and grudges YOU seem to hold against everyone else! He's going to make a REAL difference in the world! Such a SHAME that you mocked him, you probably WON'T be asked to HELP!!!! HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!"

As General Barracuda laughs mockingly, Otto gets MAD, and THROWS General Barracuda into the SNOW!!!! General Barracuda gasps in shock as he hits the snow back first! General Barracuda asks: "How did you DO that?!!!" Otto gets on General Barracuda, and pins him down! Otto angrily says: "It's called 'ADRENALINE!!!!' I have a LOT of it!!!! Now YOU are going to LISTEN to ME!!!! Spongebob and Patrick are openly MOCKING my attitude, and I KNOW you have something to DO with it!!!! Zim already KNOWS what you put inside Spongebob; and unless you come WITH me and remove it RIGHT now; I will LITERALLY scream 'BLOODY MURDER!!!!' at the top of MY lungs, and tell the whole UNIVERSE what you DID!!!! Do you catch my DRIFT?!!! NOBODY makes a mockery out of Otto ROCKET!!!!" General Barracuda throws his arms up and says: "FINE!!!! CRY-BABY!!!! I can't believe I have to get YOU a pacifier!!!! Ruining MY fun!!!!" /

Otto returns to Team Adversity with General Barracuda, and Otto, DEMANDING, shouts: "Tell them the TRUTH!!!!" General Barracuda sarcastically replies: "WHAT truth?!!! The truth that you're a BIG, FAT, POMPOUS, BAD-TEMPERED, FOUL--!!!!" Otto starts to loudly scream: "AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

General Barracuda shouts: "STOP!!!! Tyrant! I'll tell them! Spongebob, I lied to you before about the micro-chip! Since I didn't want to risk the micro-chip manipulating your emotions beyond MY control, I just SAID I put the micro-chip in you, and made you THINK that you had no free will! Seeing as how all your driving problems stem from a lack of confidence in your mind, I figured if YOU thought I was the one in charge of you, than you would drive just like I drive, full of confidence, and NEVER making a mistake!!!! And since you passed your driver's license test with absolute perfection, it OBVIOUSLY worked!!!!" Spongebob asks: "You mean, I'm not bad at ALL?!!!" Otto sarcastically says: "DUH!!!! NO!!!! You can't just GET the kind of street cred that I have, you have to EARN it!!!! That's why I KNEW you weren't BAD!!!! Nobody becomes BAD that fast!!!! Except for Stephanie Meyer, but that's NOT the point! Your attitude was a PHONY!!!! Which means that I WIN over-all!!!!" Spongebob raises his hands in a time-out and says: "Wait a MINUTE!!!! Horatio, are you telling me that all this TIME, I had control of my emotions and free-will the WHOLE time?!!! That you weren't the ONE manipulating me?!!! That I didn't have to act BADLY to my dear friends, but I did because I thought you were MAKING me do it?!!!" General Barracuda rolls his eyes and says: "Fine! So I told you a lie! I only did it because I didn't want to WASTE 16 years of MY life trying to teach you to drive!!!! My motto is, 'Why BOTHER dragging the pointless sub-plots out?' You can drive perfectly fine, you never needed a micro-chip to do it, or any other secret helper!"

Spongebob holds up his signed contract with General Barracuda, tears it up, and Spongebob says: "In THAT case, the deal is OFF!! Since I technically HAD the ability to drive perfectly all along, I don't owe you a thing! Find some other SUCKER to make your apprentice, you SICKO!!!!" General Barracuda angrily says: "Takes one to know one! You should just consider yourself LUCKY, that I'm not interested in killing you OR your friends anymore!" Patrick says: "He's got you there, Spongebob. You have to admit THAT!!" Spongebob says: "Still, I think I'll keep the outfit anyways. It gives me a little more street-cred!" Otto rolls his eyes and says: "I think I can SAFELY say that is ONE word I honestly thought that I would NEVER hear from Spongebob!" General Barracuda says: "You and me BOTH, Rocket boy!" (Confessional) General Barracuda rolls his eyes and says: "FINE!!!! So I forgot to factor in sore-loser Otto Rocket, boy SCREAM wonder into the equation! Not exactly MY fault he isn't making any headlines this season, it's HIS!!!! If he WANTS to have a winner's type edgic, he's going to have to EARN it like all of the female contestants are currently doing!" / Otto says: "It's all ABOUT winning for me! I would be NOTHING if I didn't WIN everything I ever TRIED!!!! I mean; come ON!!!! I'm Otto FREAKING Rocket!!!! I am the BEST skateboarder in HISTORY, and nothing is going to stop ME from going ALL the way to the top! I AM invincible!!!!" / Patrick angrily says: "I hope you're watching yourself, Otto. PRIDE goes before the fall! And the bigger the EGO in your head, the SO much harder you WILL FALL!!!!" / Spongebob sighs and says: "I can't believe I acted that bad all on my own. I honestly never thought I had it in me. I guess what Squidward told me is true; everybody has a breaking point. The thing is, I finally know what MINE are! Squidward, from now on, I am REALLY going to TRY to pay attention to you when you say that I'm getting on your nerves! At least I can drive now. I just hope Stanley and Patrick can forgive me!" (End Confessional)

Robot and Globitha are STILL digging, until they hit upon a stone feature! Robot says: "Guys, we just FOUND something!!!!" Tigress says: "All right, let's uncover it!" They dig down, and uncover all their runes! Rocko says: "We found the runes!" Reggie says: "Now we just gotta put it in the right order and decipher what it means!" Captain Retro says: "Leave that to me." / Captain Retro gets through arranging it and says: "I think this is the order that makes the most sense." Stimpy asks: "What does it mean?" Captain Retro says: "If I'm translating correctly, it says; 'Travel with lightning EATING to see the sacrifice of speed on the full moon for the fair Ruby Princess?' That doesn't make any sense! Never mind!!!! I know what I did wrong! It's 'Eyes BEFORE Feet, except after TEETH!' I got it reversed! It says, 'Travel with lightning SPEED to see the sacrifice of the Rubies or the Princess, on the FULL moon!!!!" And Team Retro looks up in horror, as they see there IS a full moon out right now!!!! Sanjay says: "Oh, NO!!!!" Daggett asks: "What does that mean?!!!" Norbert says: "It's the VIKINGS!!!! They're doing a ritualistic sacrifice! And if they don't have rubies, they must sacrifice a princess! They MUST have Katie, the Girl from Ipanema!" Wally says: "But she's not a princess! Is she?" Marlene says: "She must be a princess of SOME sort, for the Vikings to trick her into coming here!" Captain Retro groans and says: "It seems that Oonski runs with a pretty questionable crowd! An unidentified splinter group of vikings, who perform sacrifices that are LITERALLY, of a BARBARIC nature! And THAT is not hyperbole! Rocko asks: "Can we stop them?" Captain Retro says: "Let's get one thing clear. Vikings...I repeat, ALL vikings are NOT evil!!!! Only this specific splinter group of unidentified Vikings ARE at this moment in time! We only need to stop THEM!!!! No other vikings! We do NOT want to get into a long, drawn-out war without an EXIT plan!!!!"

Stimpy says: "I certainly don't want to get into a quagmire that drags on for ten years!" Captain Retro says: "So let's find those rubies, and get them to the vikings, so they will SPARE Katie!" Marlene says: "I love that plan!" / The action shifts to Team S.R.R.R.C. as MOST of them (with the exception of Zarbon and Bulma) are busy digging their BRAINS out! Buhdeuce asks: "Excuse me, do you think you two could actually HELP?!!!!" Zarbon is wearing a cucumber face mask, and has a fan blowing on him! Zarbon says: "A big negative there!!!! I am currently in day 25 of my 35 day beauty maintenance program. Any further degradation of my skin, face, hair, or muscles would be VERY catastrophic to my image!" Bulma says: "And I'm the one who came UP with the plan, not to MENTION, the device that would tell you where to FIND the runes! So cut me a little SLACK!!!!" Keswick mutters: "I'd like to cut SOMETHING, all right!!!!" Than Keswick finally hits a stone! Dudley says: "COOL!!!! We finally found our RUNES!!!!" Bulma smirks and says: "Told you!" Gonard asks: "Do you EVER turn that attitude into the OFF position?!!!" Bulma scoffs and says: "As IF!!!! It's part of the WHOLE package!!!!" Chameleon says: "Figures!" Oonski gets the stone out and says: "I'll read it!" Oonski looks it over and gasps in SHOCK!!!! Oonski says: "No WAY!!!! It COULDN'T be!!!!" Kaput asks: "WHAT?!!!" Oonski says: "I recognize who MADE those symbols! They can belong to no other than Master Shen!!!! He's STILL alive!!!! And he PLANS to sacrifice Katie, as part of an evil plot to GAIN super kung-fu powers to make him more powerful than Po AND the Furious Five put together!!!!" Taotie angrily says: "OOH!!!! I TOLD that idiot Tigress that Temutai didn't KILL off Master Shen!!!! But of COURSE she wouldn't LISTEN to me!!!! So now Master Shen has gotten back to FULL strength, and is trying to ace ME out of ruling the world?!!! Not going to happen!!!!"

Monster asks: "What are you suggesting anyways?" Taotie says: "A temporary truce as I put my plans on hold. I'll help SAVE the world today, so it will be AVAILABLE for me to take over another day! I do NOT heart working for Master Shen again!" Heffer says: "Than lets go, and STOP Master Shen in his tracks!" Chameleon says: "Wow! This game sure makes for some strange allies!" Dudley says: "Maybe, but I think we're REALLY good together!" Chameleon says: "Me to! But we can talk about it, later!" Team S.R.R.R.C. runs off, and Otto notices THIS!!!!

Otto SCREAMS: "We NEED to be starting this challenge YESTERDAY!!!! OOH!!!! I am SO glad that Super Chum is already GONE!!!! Even if we LOSE last AGAIN, we won't have to ELIMINATE anybody!!!!" Sniz comes by and says: "Not at all TRUE, Otto!!!! This challenge was supposed to be a DOUBLE elimination round, two losers from the LOSING team! But since Super Chum has already QUIT, that means that only ONE loser will be booted from the LOSING team!!!!" Otto gasps in shock and shouts: "Come ON!!!! Find the RUNES already!!!! Now, now, NOW!!!!" Patrick 'BRIEFLY' thinks about it and shouts: "NO!!!!" Otto SNAPS, and starts to lose it, as he fumes, and angrily ASKS: "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!!!!!!!!!!" Patrick sarcastically says: "Oh, I'm SORRY!!!! Was that WAY too complicated for YOU?!!! I'll try DUMBING it DOWN to YOUR level!!!! DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Otto angrily says: "Patrick, you are DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And Otto starts fighting it out against Patrick, in a physical confrontation!!!! Sniz says: "OOH!!!! Conflict!!!! We might not even NEED an elimination ceremony tonight! It all depends on how this fight turns out! Who will come out on top? Who will come out wrecked? Who will come out NEEDING bandages and Ibuprofin?! Stay tuned after the commercial breaks, and find out!" (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

[4EverGreen]

It is time for the third and final part of my latest "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" episode, "Girl From Ipanema Goes to Greenland!" Enjoy! /

After the commercials finish airing, Team Retro arrives at the digging site for the Viking's rubies, with Team S.R.R.R.C. arriving not too far behind! Robot says: "We really need to step it up! Either we're getting slower, or they're getting faster, or both!" Globitha says: "Most likely, they're getting faster! They don't like the idea of Team Retro WINNING again!" Sanjay says: "Just because they don't like it, doesn't mean they can stop it from happening!" Daggett says: "Well said! Those guys are WAY out of OUR league!!!!" Bulma scoffs and asks: "Are YOU serious?!!! I'm drop dead gorgeous and WAY out of YOUR league!!!! But if you're lucky, I might SOMEHOW give you the time of DAY!!!!" Daggett retorts: "You're not my type ANYWAYS, Miss I-am-SO-Conceited!!!!" Bulma screams: "I am EVERYBODY'S type!!!! I am the most BEAUTIFUL, most INTELLIGENT person on the face of this EARTH or any OTHER for that matter!!!!" Marlene rolls her eyes and sarcastically says: "I cannot BELIEVE I once thought like YOU did!!!!" Bulma scoffs and says: "WHATEVER!!!! I'm STILL going to WIN this whole thing! None of you are going to STOP that!" Captain Retro says: "WE might not have to! Do you HONESTLY expect Taotie and Kaput to take you to the Final Three?!" Bulma says: "I'll have you know my team is willing to do ANYTHING on my behalf!! I am the BRAINS of our WHOLE operation! Of COURSE they're going to do what I say!!!!"

Keswick sarcastically asks: "Do you HONESTLY believe that?!!!" Bulma retorts: "What kind of a question is THAT?!!! Obviously, YES!!!!" Gonard groans and says: "You are the DUMBEST smart person I have EVER met in my whole life!!!! What makes YOU so much better than EVERYBODY else?!" Bulma slyly answers: "Only a little something called Dragonball Z!!!! You might have HEARD about it?! It's only the most POPULAR cartoon series in the history of...EVER!!!!" Buhdeuce asks: "And I suppose you believe that YOU are the one responsible for its gigantic success!!" Bulma rolls her eyes and says: "Obviously, not just ME!!!! But, I AM one of the biggest reasons it does so well! I'm too PRETTY to be killed! Not to mention, too SMART!!!!" Zarbon says: "I'll put that on your tombstone when you finally DO bite it! Even your beauty and brains can't protect YOU forever! I know, they didn't protect me against Vegeta! I'm just glad I don't have to run into him ever again!" Bulma says: "For your sake, you better HOPE Vegeta never comes back to Earth! He'd make SURE to finish you off for good!" Zarbon says: "He'd have to find me first, and good luck to THAT!!" Norbert says: "Sheesh! They are SO dysfunctional!"

Po says: "We don't need to be worried about THEM!!!! We need to be worried about the rubies!!" Taotie says: "You BETTER be worried!!!! Master Shen is STILL alive, and he's the one who's brainwashed the Vikings into kidnapping Katie, the Girl from Ipanema!" Tigress rolls her eyes and says: "You just don't KNOW when to stop LYING, do you?!!!" Oonski says: "Ordinarily, I'd agree with you, but he's telling the truth! I don't want THAT peacock giving all vikings a bad name!!!!" Rocko asks: "Captain Retro, what do you think?" Captain Retro says: "They're telling the truth, oddly enough!" Stimpy says: "WOW!!!! Now I've heard EVERYTHING!!!!"

(Confessional) Stimpy says: "Taotie and Oonski, telling US the truth?!!! That's something I NEVER thought would happen to us during our time of competition on the show!" / Captain Retro says: "It makes sense for Master Shen to be doing this. It's no longer enough for Master Shen to RULE the world, now he wants to humiliate Po and the Furious Five in the process! He HAS to be stopped!" / Marlene shouts: "HONESTLY!!!! How does Bulma LIVE with herself?!!! More importantly, how can ANYBODY?!!! Even TREEFLOWER was NEVER as bad as Bulma is! Bulma better NOT make it past the team merge; she's WAY too arrogant and cocky for team merge material!" / Bulma says: "Seeing as how I have no remarkable physical skills and talents to speak of, apart from mad laser dodging skills, I HAVE to rely on my brain power to intimidate the other contestants. And with the amount of brain power I have, that's not too much of a problem! I mean, all of Team Retro put TOGETHER couldn't hatch up a plan to take ME out!! That's why I am going to make it all the WAY to the Final Three! And if anybody tries anything funny to take ME out before then, I'll just turn the tables and boot THEM out instead!!!! Nobody's taking Bulma Briefs out of THE competition!!!!" /

Zarbon says: "It's hard to believe Bulma and I represent the EXACT same show! I mean, can't somebody SERIOUSLY make Bulma just shut UP for a nano-second?! I'm sick of hearing her TALK all the time!!!! She may be beautiful, but even beauty can only go so far! Take it from me, I know EXACTLY what the phrase, 'Beauty is only Skin Deep,' TRULY means!" / Gonard scoffs and says: "Bulma thinks just because HER show has been popular for far LONGER than anybody else HERE, she can just use that as a shield to deflect anything THROWN at her! But I'm telling you, something is going to break that shield of her's someday!" / Captain Retro says: "Intelligence does not automatically equal humility. Sometimes, it breeds arrogance; as is the case with Bulma. She'll realize it before the season ends." / Taotie sarcastically says: "Oh, SURE!!!! Now Tigress believes me, because she HEARD it BOTH from someone else, and Captain Retro! Just because I'm a villain, doesn't automatically MEAN I'm not capable of telling the truth! Can I help it if it so much easier to LIE to her and especially Po?! Po is so GULLIBLE!!!!" / Po says: "I am NOT gullible! I'm just willing to take a chance on others, even if they don't REALLY deserve it!" / Rocko says: "Master Shen is not an easy guy to fight. Suzie, Marlene, and I all had to fight against him LAST season! If we want to stop him for good, we might NEED to all be banded together! Master Shen is not about to just surrender his cause!" (End Confessional)

Po says: "All right! We'll team up and put aside our differences for now. Once we take care of Master Shen, THEN we can sort out who wins this challenge!" Monster says: "I can't argue with that!" Heffer says: "I wouldn't know how to!" Dudley says: "Chameleon and I will dig for the rubies, along with Wally, Robot, and Globitha! The rest of you, find Master Shen, stop him, and rescue Katie, the Girl From Ipanema! Once we have the rubies, we'll bring them BACK to you!" Reggie says: "I'm a big fan of that plan! Let's do it!" (Confessional)

Dudley says: "I'm kind of a natural when it comes to making firm, quick decisions. I'm part blood-hound! And as such, I know what it takes to avert danger and disaster, and keep others safe! I reduced accidents at T.U.F.F. by 44% in the past year, alone!" / Po says: "There's an old saying at the Jade Palace. 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend.' I'm not exactly sure what that means, but I do know that Taotie considers himself to be Master Shen's enemy. And any enemy of Master Shen's, is an ally to the Furious Five, and the Dragon Warrior by extension! I know there IS some goodness in Taotie! He just needs to remember that it is there!" / Taotie asks: "Why am I even HELPING Po and Tigress?!!! I certainly don't owe them anything! I mean, I do have to potentially think about jury votes later. But still, I just had this feeling in my gut that it was the right thing to do. I mean, I WAS the one who designed the Training Hall for the Furious Five, back in the day when it was Master Oogway who called the shots, and not Master Shifu. I wonder, is it possible that what Po is saying is true, and that Master Oogway trying to show me a path to redemption? The way things are going, I could use any help I could get in order to get myself to the Final Three!" (End Confessional)

Most of Team Retro and Team S.R.R.R.C. start to look for Master Shen and his horde of Vikings, when all of the sudden, Suzie Carmichael, stops! Marlene asks: "What's wrong?" Suzie says: "My Otto senses are TINGLING!!!! Something wrong is happening with Otto, and I need to go and help him! PLEASE!!!! I couldn't bare it if something BAD happened to Otto!" Rocko says: "Go to him, then! Let him know how much you care!" Suzie sighs in relief and says: "Thank you! I know you'll get a bunch of good karma for this!" And Suzie runs off! Reggie asks: "She really DOES love Otto, doesn't she?" Captain Retro sighs and says: "I just hope Suzie STILL loves him when she gets to him!" Wally asks: "Why is that?" Captain Retro says: "Because Otto is doing something BAD to Patrick right now! And if my guess is correct, it is NOTHING pretty!!!!" /

The action shifts to Team Adversity, as everyone EXCEPT Patrick and Otto are watching the EXTREME spectacle take place between them, in their epic FIGHT for dominance!!!! Zim says: "I LOVE this new development! Do you want to know WHY?!" (Confessional) Zim says: "I'll tell you the reason; TENSION!!!! And it has NOTHING to do with me! I have NEVER felt so safe!" / Skipper says: "My penguin missions are one thing, but trying to get into the middle of the fight between Otto and Patrick would be the equivalent of getting napalmed! Not a pretty sight!" / King Julien says: "Technically, it should be a kingly duty to stop any unnecessary fights. But seeing as how I don't want to get involved in the dangerous melee, I'm going to safely stay OUT of it!" (End Confessional)

Otto shouts: "Take it BACK!!!! Take it BACK!!!!" Patrick defiantly says: "I'm not GOING to!!" Otto angrily asks: "Do you PEONS honestly BELIEVE that you're going to MAKE it anywhere WITHOUT me?! I am Otto FREAKING Rocket!!!! And this TEAM would be NOTHING without ME!!!!" Patrick says: "It will be SOMETHING without you! A LOT nicer!!" Otto says: "I don't DO nice!!!! I do WINNING!!!!" Patrick asks: "Than why has OUR team lost so many challenges AND contestants?!" Otto says: "Obviously, because the challenges aren't up to MY high standards of adrenaline seeking, and they are COMPLETE wastes of my time, because they are SO boring and POINTLESS!!!!" Patrick says: "Or MAYBE, it's because you're being so RUDE and ARROGANT, that you don't even TRY in those CHALLENGES!!!! Now all YOU can think about is bossing everyone else AROUND!!!! You're no better than...ANGELICA Pickles!!!!" Otto SNAPS and LOSES it!!!!

Otto angrily says: "Don't EVER compare ME to HER!!!!" Otto starts to swing an epic punch to Patrick, but Suzie appears and pleads: "OTTO!!!! Don't DO it!!!!" The distraction makes Otto completely MISS Patrick, but Otto MISTAKENLY punches out GUANO instead!!!! Spongebob shivers and says: "OOH!!!! That's going to LEAVE a mark!!!!" Suzie shockingly asks: "Otto!!!! How COULD you?!!!" Otto gets mad, turns to Patrick and shouts: "Are you trying to turn her AGAINST me?!!!" Patrick says: "You're doing THAT all by yourself!!!!" Otto says: "You're trying to take her AWAY from ME!!!!" Patrick says: "Your anger and your LUST for winning are already DOING that!!!!" Suzie says: "You've got to STOP, Otto! This isn't YOU!!!! This is NOTHING like the Otto I know and LOVE!!!! Don't do THIS!!!!"

Otto angrily says: "Stay OUT of this!!!! This concerns ME, and the soon to be DEAD Patrick!!!!" Suzie says: "Don't TALK like THAT!!!! You're Otto ROCKET, you don't have ANYTHING to PROVE!!!! PLEASE, STOP!!!!" Otto SCREAMS: "I NEED TO WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And his SCREAM causes an avalanche from a nearby mountain to fall ALL around them, sealing them ALL in a compact hole! Randolph sarcastically says: "Screaming your HEAD off; what a BRILLIANT idea! What an INCREDIBLE predicament you've put us into THIS time! What's NEXT?! Insulting the only guy with super-powers on our team who could help us out of here?!!! Oh, WAIT!! He already QUIT the game, because of YOU!!!!" (Confessional) Otto screams: "This is Patrick's FAULT!! He can't make the team merge!! If he ever DOES, I hope Guano gets struck by LIGHTNING!!" / Guano woozily says: "Why do I feel somebody just WISHED for me to be hit by lightning if it turned out that person was WRONG about Patrick making the team merge?" / Randolph says: "Otto is SO the next boot out of HERE!!!! I DON'T love him!!!!" / Dog says: "Otto, you've grown too crazy unpredictable and unstable for THIS season! Randolph and I need to take you OUT!!!!" (End Confessional)

Otto says: "None of you would last three MINUTES in a true competition with ME!! I'm going to WIN this whole season!" Zim says: "We're not going to last three minutes HERE the way things are going!" Otto scoffs and says: "Get SERIOUS!!!! Things couldn't POSSIBLY get ANY worse!!!!" (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!) Sniz comes to the hole, overlooks it, and Sniz says: "That would be your DAILY irony call, announcing it's arrival for YOU!!!!" Otto angrily says: "Yeah, RIGHT!! There is ONLY supposed to be ONE mandatory song per episode!!" Sniz says: "Ordinarily, yes. But this was just too GOOD of a golden opportunity to pass up! No WAY we were going to miss THIS one! And if you don't SING, Otto, you can kiss YOUR chances of winning any money THIS season good-bye right NOW!!!!" Otto angrily says: "Okay, NOW things can't possibly get any WORSE!!!!"

Genre: Heavy Metal. Song: "Stuck In a Hole." Sung by: Team Adversity and Suzie. / Suzie: "The strings of my heart are a tangled mess!" Team Adversity, except Otto: "Ooh, mess." Suzie: "I feel my heart thumping out of my chest!" Team Adversity, except Otto: "Ooh, chest." Otto: "I tried to fit winning and Suzie into my soul." Team Adversity, except Otto: "Ooh, soul." Otto: "I wound up, stuck in a hole!" Team Adversity and Suzie: "He got stuck, should've ducked, worst of luck; stuck, stuck in a hole!!!!" Otto, pointing to Patrick: "I fell for every insulting thing that HE said!!!!" Team Adversity, except Patrick: "Ooh, said!" Otto: "I closed my eyes, and I screamed off my head!" Team Adversity, except Otto: "Ooh, head!" Otto: "Now here I am, completely red in my face!" Team Adversity, except Otto: "Ooh, face!" Otto: "Won't someone please throw a ladder down this place?!" Team Adversity and Suzie: "We got stuck, should've ducked, worst of luck; stuck, stuck in a hole!!!! Stuck, stuck, STUCK in a hole!!!!" / And the epic song ends, and Sniz claps quietly.

Otto says: "I'm SERIOUS!!!! Throw a ladder down this place!" Sniz says: "I would, but everybody's busy trying to save my girlfriend. You should've thought of that before you screamed your head off. But don't worry, we'll rescue you AFTER the challenge is over!" Otto angrily says: "NO!!!! I'm supposed to WIN!!!! You can't do THIS!!!!" Sniz says: "Good-bye, Otto!!!!" And Sniz leaves, while Otto, in futility, screams: "Help, HELP, HELP!!!!" Suzie rolls her eyes and sarcastically says: "Oh, SURE!!!! Scream some more and dig us even FURTHER into this MESS!!!! That will get us FAR!!!!" Otto says: "I don't see YOU coming up with any BRILLIANT ideas! This is ALL Patrick's FAULT!!!! I am SO voting you OFF tonight!!!!" Patrick says: "Go ahead and TRY!!!! WE all out-number you!" Otto says: "Nobody out-numbers ME!!!! I am Otto FREAKING Rocket!!!! I practically OWN Ocean Shores, California!!!! And anyone with HALF a REAL brain knows that, to!!" Suzie angrily says: "I can't BELIEVE you!!!!" Otto asks: "What's THAT supposed to mean?!" Suzie says: "Here WE are, stuck in a hole, and all YOU can think about is proving that you're RIGHT!!!! Haven't you NOTICED how TRYING to do that has got us STUCK in this particular development?!!!" Otto angrily says: "I don't have to apologize for ANYTHING!!!! Otto ROCKETS do NOT apologize, because I am NEVER wrong!!!! Besides, what were YOU planning to do?! Threaten to dump me?! You wouldn't have the GUTS!!!! Nobody except Angelica Pickles is crazy enough to try to abandon THIS!!!!"

Suzie seriously says: "Until NOW!!!!" Otto stops and stutters: "What--what are you saying?!" Suzie angrily says: "Unless you straighten UP and ACT like the Otto Rocket I KNOW and LOVE, you can consider the BOTH of us OFFICIALLY OVER!!" (Confessional) Otto desperately says: "NO!! She's not SERIOUS!!!! She CAN'T be serious!! I'm Otto FREAKING Rocket!! I WIN things!! I don't LOSE them! And even if I COULD lose something, I would certainly NEVER lose Suzie, especially NOT after I DUMPED god-awful Angelica Pickles just to BE with her!! She's BLUFFING!! She HAS to be bluffing!! She'll take me back! She...is...going...to...take...me back, RIGHT?!!!" / Suzie angrily says: "I have never before REALIZED just why so MANY people have a PROBLEM with Otto Rocket!! Now I DO!! He is so RUDE, cocky, arrogant, selfish, vain, fame obsessed, thrill seeking, adrenaline junkie!! I fell in love with him because I honestly thought that he wanted ME, because I was so much BETTER than Angelica Pickles!!!! Now I think he only wanted me just to rub it IN Angelica's face that he COULD get someone far better than she could EVER be!! At this point, I'm almost willing to go so far as to say, that if she WANTS him so BADLY, she can take HIM, if she even really WANTED him in the first place!" / Patrick says: "And with that, I have now OFFICIALLY put Otto into his place! Don't ever mess with MY brain-power, or you're going to get burned!!!!" / Spongebob shivers and says: "Otto really got BURNED this time!" (End Confessional)

Randolph smirks and says: "You know, this whole trouble COULD'VE been avoided if you had just been NICE in the FIRST place!!!!" Otto angrily says: "I don't need YOUR permission to do anything!! I don't need permission from ANYBODY!!!! It's MY way or the HIGHWAY!!!! And if you can't keep up, you can ride ALONE!!" Zim says: "Ordinarily, I CAN ride alone! But I'm on a TEAM, right now; and in case you've forgotten, you are TO!!!! And you better shape up, or you can SHIP out!!!!" Otto says: "If I had my way, I WOULD ship out, and leave you ALL here!!!! But I can't, because we're still STUCK in a HOLE!!!!" And just like that, Guano gets STUCK by lightning from out of nowhere!!!! But the lightning DOES heat the snow around them and provides a path out of there! Patrick yells: "OTTO!!!! Did you WISH for Guano to be STRUCK by lightning if it turned out that I would be MAKING the team MERGE?!!!" Otto angrily says: "So what if I DID?! Besides, we can now LEAVE, can't WE?!" As they all get out of the situation, Dog says: "That's NOT the point!!!! How could you just WISH bodily harm on another contestant?!" Otto says: "He's nothing but dead weight, anyways! He's not going to help ME win $44.44 million in cold hard, cash!!!!" Suzie angrily says: "You know, I came back for you because I thought something BAD was happening to you!!!! But now I see, you WERE the bad thing that was happening?!!!" Otto asks: "Just because I got into a FIGHT?!!!" Suzie says: "A fight that YOU started, and totally shouldn't HAVE!!!!"

Otto raises his hands up and says: "FINE!!!! I made ONE lousy mistake!! Shame on ME!! Can we move ON from this, ALREADY?!" Suzie says: "I already told you, that you WON'T get to kiss me AGAIN until you say that you're SORRY!!!! And before you say anything, you have to say it like you MEAN it!!!!" Otto angrily says: "What's the POINT, then?! You won't accept it unless I say it like I'm being TORTURED to say it!! I don't DO that game!! You're not blackmailing ME into any situation!! Do you think you can manipulate ME the way I tried to manipulate Angelica Pickles into loving ME?! Because let me give you the spoiler ending right HERE, it DOESN'T work!!" Suzie says: "I'm not trying to manipulate you! Unlike YOU, I don't get INTO manipulating other people! I'm just telling you how it's going to be!!!! Either show me you care, and that you're sorry, or you can live the rest of your life ALONE!!!! It's YOUR choice!!!!" And Suzie leaves Team Adversity!!!! Phoebe asks: "On a scale from 1-10, with 1 being the WORST, how WOULD you rate today?!!!" Otto says: "Are you KIDDING?!!! Scientists would have to invent a new form of MATH to describe how SUCKY today has BEEN!!!! How do you make somebody love you again without admitting that you...weren't RIGHT?!!!" Dog says: "Welcome to the REAL world, Otto! If you can come up with an answer to THAT one, don't keep it to yourself!" (Confessional)

Otto groans and says: "Why is my game turning OUT like this?!!! Am I being PUNISHED for being unfaithful to Angelica Pickles, of ALL people?!!! Or is it because I'm not as ideal as Suzie would WANT me to be?! Personally, I'd prefer the LATTER answer!! That one, I'm WILLING to work on!! But I SWEAR, if I've BLOWN this relationship to pieces because of the way I've been acting, I'll be the ONLY Rocket in HISTORY to have lost both TWO girls, and THREE seasons of competition!! If I can't win this season, than I HAVE to get the girl!! Somehow, I HAVE to get Suzie BACK!! But...I'm REALLY hoping it doesn't have to come to an, 'I'm sorry!' Angelica would NEVER let me hear the END of it! And I've had just about all I can STAND of Angelica Pickles for one life-time!" / Phoebe says: "Relationships can be really complicated. It's a game of give and take, very often. The thing of it is, if you take too much, you're either selfish, greedy, ignorant, more than one or the other, or ALL of the above! You have to GIVE at least SOME of what you get! After all, it was The Beatles who once sang, 'The love you take is equal to the love you make.' Very wise words, from one of the best rock and roll bands EVER!" / Randolph says: "I am so GLAD Dog and I never have any STUPID arguments or blow-ups like the one Otto and Suzie just had!" / Dog says: "I'm really solid with Randolph! Not just because I'm obligated to him, but because I WANT to be straight with him! Randolph is a stellar guy, and he deserves the best that I can give him! That's why I'm always at 110% with him!" (End Confessional)

The action shifts back to the gang who are digging rubies! Wally throws up a bunch of rubies he just unearthed, and he says: "You were right, Robot! That G.P.S. of yours DID detect our rubies spot on!" Robot says: "Thank Globitha, she was the one who suggested it!" Globitha says: "You're welcome!" Dudley and Chameleon throw up a bunch of rubies and they both say: "We found ours!" Dudley says: "Jinx! You owe me a soda!" Chameleon says: "Don't worry, I believe that I can buy you plenty!" Suzie runs back up and asks: "Did you find the rubies?" Wally says: "Yes, we did! And now we need to get them to the rest of Team Retro, and Team S.R.R.R.C.!" They start running toward the ocean. Dudley asks: "What about Team Adversity? Aren't they coming?" Suzie says: "I don't believe so!" Robot asks: "Why not?" Suzie says: "Because Otto is too BUSY being a jerk to EVERYBODY to admit that he's wrong!!!!" (Confessional)

Robot says: "Globitha has come in surprisingly useful, reminding me of all the ways I can use the technology within me! She's helped me get far in a season where I might not have remembered all the tricks I have at my disposal. It's nice to have a girl who reminds you that you DO have strengths!" / Globitha says: "I always KNEW Robot had untapped potential! Before the season began, I had Ogo study up on him! Having an intimate knowledge of the inner workings of Robot Default, and everything he can accomplish, certainly comes in handy!" / Chameleon says: "You know, it's almost sad and pathetic that despite the SAD shape Team Adversity is in, they STILL can't stop fighting among themselves! If that wasn't good news for my team, I would wish that they didn't HAVE that luck!" / Wally says: "We've done our job! Now it's time to re-join the others and help them do THEIR job!" / Suzie says: "It will be nice to re-join the rest of Team Retro, and re-join SANITY!!!!" (End Confessional) In stark, ironic contrast to her statement, both the rest of Team Retro and Team S.R.R.R.C. are in a world of chaos, as a bunch of viking cannons are being SHOT at them! Po shouts: "Do you think all this fire-power SCARES us, Master Shen?! You're NOT that BIG, anymore!!!!" Master Shen re-appears at last, only NOW, at NORMAL full height!!!! Master Shen asks: "You were SAYING, Panda?!" Marlene says: "That's impossible!!!! You were cut down to SIZE, when I last saw you!!!! How could you possibly bounce back from THAT one?!!!"

Master Shen says: "I managed to get the upper hand on that STUPID Temutai!!!! I MERELY transferred his size and strength into ME; and when I was done, I SQUISHED him, the way he intended to SQUASH me!!!! Nobody puts ME under foot!" Tigress says: "That doesn't matter!! Po beat you once, we can beat you again! Having an ARMY doesn't help you!!" Master Shen says: "That's why I have a HOSTAGE this time!!!! May I present, the Girl from Ipanema?!!!" Master Shen reveals Katie, tied up to the center mast of Master Shen's command boat!!!! Strangely enough, Katie calls out with a voice sounding just LIKE Nicole Sullivan's! Katie says: "Help me!!!! This evil creep tricked me and now he won't let me GO!!!!" Rocko says: "Leave her out of this! Your fight is with us!!!!" Master Shen says: "I do not COW down to ANY of you MERE mortals!!!! As far as I'm concerned, I have a BEEF with ALL of YOU!!!! I'm going to MILK my victory for ALL it's worth!!!! And when I'm done with you, I'll have your LIVERS with some fava beans and a NICE Chianti!!!! SLURP!!!!" Heffer gets mad and says: "Don't make fun of ME!!!! Zarbon, throw me into that SHIP!!!! Zarbon asks: "What good will THAT do?!!!" Heffer commanding, says: "Just do it!!!!" Zarbon grabs Heffer by his horns, and Zarbon says: "I hope that you're insured for this!!!!" And Zarbon SWINGS Heffer with all his MIGHT, and Heffer CRASHES into the command ship, which causes it to start sinking! Master Shen says: "Time for ME, to abandon SHIP!!!!" And Master Shen flies away!!!! Captain Retro says: "I'll get Katie!!!!"

Captain Retro flies to the sinking ship, cuts the ropes holding Katie, and gets her off the ship before it sinks into the ocean! After flying Katie back to the safety of solid ground, Katie says: "Thank you, if I didn't already HAVE a boyfriend, I'd seriously consider dating you!" Captain Retro says: "No worries, I'm already in a committed relationship with Marlene!" Marlene asks: "Do you KNOW Nicole Sullivan's talent agent?" Katie says: "I don't think so, why do you ask?" Marlene says: "No reason." (Confessional) Heffer says: "I get mad whenever someone uses a bunch of bovine puns at MY expense! I didn't come onto this show for THAT!! I came to have a good time! Master Shen has just found out why he shouldn't take STEERS to lightly!" / Zarbon says: "I admit, Heffer made his point! I just never expected him to use his head like THAT! Still, that definitely puts me back into the fight of this thing!" / Marlene seriously says: "Seriously, am I the ONLY one here who THINKS that Katie sounds just LIKE Nicole Sullivan?!!! It can't just be ME, can it?!!!" / Captain Retro says: "Sniz has a pretty good girl. Not as good as mine, but I don't think Marlene is Sniz's type anyways." (End Confessional) Master Shen lands on the ground, and he angrily says: "You have just made your LAST mistake, all of YOU!!!! My brainwashed army shall rain its full FURY upon you!!!!"

Suzie, and the other remaining members of Team Retro and Team S.R.R.R.C. arrive! Suzie says: "Not likely! We've GOT the rubies!!!!" Wally, Robot, Globitha, Dudley, and Chameleon, show their rubies, and it dispels the effects of the hypnotism Master Shen has put them under!!!! Master Shen screams: "NO!!!! My ARMY!!!! My DESTINY!!!!" Oonski says: "You lose again, peacock!!!! Nobody bends VIKINGS to such an EVIL end!!!! You mess with ONE viking, you mess with ALL of them!!!!" Master Shen says: "I would NEVER let you kill ME the way you KILLED Master Coelaceanth!!!!" General Barracuda steps in and says: "Fortunately, he doesn't have to!!!! I've been looking forward, to taking out the LAST, loyal apprentice to Master Coelaceanth, PERSONALLY!!!!" And General Barracuda pulls out a GIGANTIC laser gun!!!! General Barracuda angrily says: "And THIS time, don't come BACK!!!!" Master Shen screams: "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And his body is COMPLETELY disintegrated!!!!" Oonski says: "The show is over Vikings, you can ALL go home!!!!" Sniz comes up and says: "Wonderful! Brilliant! All of you!!!! I think it's clear what the verdict is TODAY!!!! Both Team Retro AND Team S.R.R.R.C. win first place immunity!!!!" Reggie asks: "Really?!" Sniz says: "Sure! Both of you WERE responsible for saving Katie!!!!" Taotie asks: "But what about the naval battle?" Sniz says: "You already had it when you guys sunk Master Shen's ship, besides, we've got a tight schedule to keep!"

Otto and the rest of Team Adversity finally show up! Otto asks: "Is it too late to help?" Sniz says: "Yes, it is. Both Team Retro and Team S.R.R.R.C. win immunity. I'd say Team Adversity did well, but that would be a lie. You couldn't even complete one PORTION of today's challenge! Ordinarily, I'd say SOMEONE would be getting voted OFF!!!!" Zim says: "But?" Sniz says: "But, Guano has been both STRUCK by Otto Rocket, and STRUCK by lightning, somehow!!!!" And Guano groans in PAIN!!!! Sniz says: "Guano clearly can't continue, so he will be med evac'd for his own safety. So everyone else on Team Adversity will be safe, for now!" Otto says: "Sorry, Guano. Nothing personal." Guano woozily says: "At least I did my best." Randolph says: "At least we'll see you at the finale." Dog says: "That's very true! We'll see you then!" And Wanda poofs up a medical helicopter, and Guano gets put in there. Guano says: "Bye!" And the medical helicopter flies away! Katie says: "And just like that, another episode of this stellar show has been finished! And I'm coming along for the ride! Where will we go next?! What kind of perils will the contestants have to face?! What challenges will my Sniz think up of NEXT?!!! Find out the answers to these questions and more, on the NEXT Total Cartoon (sings) Global Cruise!!!!" Marlene says: "Seriously, you MUST know Nicole Sullivan's talent agent!" /

Episode Notes: Super Chum quits the game in this episode, while Guano gets med evac'd out of the game for his own health. All representatives from "Fanboy and Chum-Chum" have now been eliminated, while Gonard becomes the only representative from "Kappa Mikey" left representing the show. This marks the FIRST time in the show's history where a double elimination has occurred, with NEITHER of the contestants actually being voted OFF!!!! This marks the first time Otto Rocket and Suzie Carmichael have gotten into an argument in their relationship. It is revealed that General Barracuda didn't actually put a micro-chip into Spongebob, he merely put a Game Boy Advance cartridge into Spongebob, in order to psychologically make Spongebob a better driver. Master Shen is destroyed for good in this episode. /

Personal Notes: It isn't always easy for me to stay motivated about this season. What I wanted to do for Super Chum is to show that despite the show he represents, and the qualities he had as a kid, those qualities would become out-grown and replaced by more noble, more virtuous goals as Chum-Chum transitioned from kid, into adult. Gaining his full superhero status was a way to make his transformation both literal and physical. He didn't just become a superhero in words, he became a superhero in action. While this was good for Super Chum's story arc, it became a daunting task for any contestant on his team to compete with him, in terms of strength and speed. That's why Super Chum decided to quit the game, he found that his talents could be put to much BETTER use outside of the game, helping his idol Man-Artica, save the world, for one. As for Guano, his main purpose was to provide comedy relief to the show. Seeing as how Otto Rocket went off the deep end, and put Guano's funny streak to an end, so to did Guano's chances of winning $44.44 million! But, this DOES provide Gonard with some incentive to go far and fight for Guano's honor! / That's my episode idea for today! Enough said, true believers!

Edited October 20, 2015 by 4EverGreen
Still finishing My Episode.

[4EverGreen]

The next episode featured in "Total Cartoon Global Cruise!"; is an episode based on the events in the first three games from the video game series "Five Nights at Freddie's," filtered through my own unique interpretation of it. Since there are three games, the story will be divided into three chapters. The story begins right here. / Sniz is in the cock-pit and says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Global Cruise," 37 contestants went to Greenland, to uncover Viking runes so they could uncover Viking Rubies, so they could do battle against a Viking army, headed by NON Viking, Master Shen, and save my non Viking girlfriend, Katie! But during the challenge, Super Chum decided he had enough of wasting his time on trivial matters, and decided to pursue a far better USE of his time, by helping Man-Arctica fight against Global Warmer. This made Otto Rocket ROYALLY mad!!!! Not only did he manage to tick off practically everyone ELSE remaining on Team Adversity, he also SHOCKED Suzie Carmichael, when he royally punched out GUANO by mistake!!!! Suzie was appalled by the way Otto was behaving, and threatened to permanently give him the kiss-off if he continued to act jerky. And by 'kiss-off,' I mean, never kiss HIM again! In the end, both Team Retro and Team S.R.R.R.C. won immunity for beating Master Shen and saving my girlfriend, Katie. And General Barracuda finished off the evil peacock, Master Shen, for good! It ended up Guano who had to be med evac'd out of the game for his own health, being too badly damaged by Otto's punch and a bolt of lightning, to continue the game any further. Now we are down to 35 contestants, and we are going to a REALLY scary place tonight! A place you might remember from your dreams, but it's going to be a NIGHTMARE!!!! Because there are dangerous creatures that come from the past, coming back to get even with the contestants who whopped them, and they are ALL going to use a nightmarish version of a children's pizza restaurant to do it with! That's because tonight, we are special guests, at a Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, in the city of Bangkok, Thailand!!!! Which contestants will get trapped?!!! Who will be scared white as a sheet?! And will ANY of them make it out of the restaurant alive?! It's time to find out in a Halloween themed edition of Total Cartoon (sings spookily) Global Cruise!!!! Watch out for Springtrap!!!!" / "One Night In Bangkok and Six Hours at Freddy's!" /

In an act of rarity, both Team Retro and Team S.R.R.R.C. are enjoying first class together! Daggett says: "Well, I guess it had to happen sooner or later. The two teams who have the least amount of qualities and traits in common, are sharing the same class together; and I mean First class!" Kaput gets annoyed and says: "Honestly!!!! Can't you guys ever NOT win challenges?!!!" Reggie says: "I don't see what YOU have to complain about, you guys won first place to!" Bulma says: "AND girl, don't forget the PRETTY girl!!!!" Marlene angrily says: "What's THAT supposed to MEAN?!!!" Bulma sarcastically says: "I'm sorry! I'll dumb it DOWN to YOUR level!!!! Compared to ME, everybody else is DUMB and UGLY!!!!!!!!" Marlene angrily says: "THAT'S IT!!!!" And Stimpy quickly grabs Marlene, preventing her from moving! Marlene struggles and says: "Let me at her!!!! Let ME at HER!!!! I'll tear her LIMB from LIMB!!!!" Stimpy says: "That's EXACTLY what she WANTS!!!! Remember, if you HIT her, you'll get hit with penalty votes!!!!" Marlene stops struggling and sarcastically asks: "You're ENJOYING this, aren't you?!!!" Bulma smirks and says: "Only a LOT!!!!" (Confessional) Marlene says: "I really HATE the restrictions put onto season three! It used to be you could HIT an annoying contestant and think nothing of it! But now, EVERYONE, whether they are good OR bad, have to face the consequences of those actions! It just seems like SUCH a double edged knife that this restriction, meant to deter BAD guys from taking out anyone they want, could be such a burden on good guys TO! Well, if I can't HIT Bulma, I guess I gotta pray that KARMA will do it FOR me!!!!" / Bulma smirks and says: "I've got the entire game-plan figured out in my entire mind, because winning this season, is all about MIND games!!!! You just got to USE your mind, to figure out the WEAKNESSES of all the other contestants! And once you do, you SPRING your trap on them, and get them to play RIGHT into your hands!!!! That's why if ANYBODY is going to win this season, it's going to be ME!!!! Nobody can compete with me on MY level!" / Stimpy says: "I know where Marlene is coming from. Honestly, I wish the no-hitting other contestant's on purpose rule was in place in season two. Maybe then, I wouldn't have punched Ren in the face. I don't like to hurt others. I mean, I was struggling with my identity at the time, but that doesn't give me an excuse for what I did. Maybe that's why I want so much to just do the right thing this season, and help others do the right thing, to. I don't want to see anybody else make the same mistakes I made LAST season, especially not someone else on my team!" (End Confessional) Norbert says: "Marlene, you really should IGNORE Bulma, she's not WORTH a nano-second of your time!" Robot says: "You know what IS worth our time? Figuring out who we should target next in terms of contestants on the other teams." Sanjay says: "You DO know we can't actually target ANYBODY on another team, unless we win a reward where the prize is that we CAN do that!" Robot says: "I'm not saying DIRECTLY eliminate, but turnabout IS fair play! If Bulma can play mind games on us, than I say that the exact same treatment can be used against HER!!!!" Bulma scoffs and says: "Good luck with THAT!!!! It takes a LOT of work to get under MY skin!!!! Besides, you have no IDEA what bugs me!!!! And I will NEVER tell you! My lips are sealed!!!!" Tigress says: "So much for the easy way to victory!" Po says: "Well, if we can't get it through Bulma, maybe one of her so-called team-mates will be willing to sort through her dirty laundry, metaphorically speaking of course! We just need someone who absolutely can't STAND Bulma!" Suzie says: "In that case, you're describing a potential amount of contestants. She isn't THAT easy to stand!" Globitha says: "We can't just pick anyone. We need someone smart and clever. Someone with an alliance." Wally asks: "Captain Retro, do you have any ideas?"

But Captain Retro doesn't answer, because he is sound asleep. Marlene says: "Let me handle this." Marlene quietly goes up to him, and nudges him in the head. Captain Retro groggily asks: "Huh...what is it?" Marlene says: "We're doing discussion time, on who we should target on Team S.R.R.R.C., we thought you might have an idea as to who our best bet would be, for getting the dirt on Bulma Briefs!" Captain Retro yawns and asks: "Marlene, this isn't another case of YOU not being able to stand someone like Treeflower and just wanting that person GONE because YOU can't stand her?!" Marlene says: "It's not just ME!!!! A bunch of people on Bulma's OWN team can't stand her! And that's not COUNTING the other people on OUR team who can't stand her! Just why are you so tired anyways?" Captain Retro says: "Using my down-time to catch up to 2015. I HAD locked myself away in time-suspended animation for 14 years, from 2000 to 2014. It took me a full YEAR to get all caught up! I actually have a Tracfone now, from 2008. I don't GO any less retro than that!" Marlene asks: "Why?" Captain Retro says: "Two words; Justin Bieber!!!! Once HE got allowed to make music and Michael Jackson died, I pretty much LOST interest in any music made after 2008!" Marlene says: "I don't blame you for that! But just what exactly HAVE you been researching?" Captain Retro: "Video games, right now, I'm looking into Five Nights At Freddy's!" Taotie says: "WOW!!!! I never would've figured YOU out for a Freddy Fazbear fanatic!" Captain Retro says: "I haven't got a chance to actually play the games yet, but I like a lot of the artwork made for it, and I like the story-lines from the three main games." Zarbon says: "There are FOUR main games, now!" Captain Retro says: "Well, I'm only concerned with the first three games. Anyways, I don't want to lose THIS game because of a lack of knowledge about current day things that are hot!" Marlene says: "I don't want you to lose, either! But tell me, who do you think we should ask to help unseat the major dodo? AKA, Bulma?!" Captain Retro looks at the remainder of Team S.R.R.R.C., and Captain Retro says: "Keswick!" Marlene asks: "Really?" Captain Retro says: "Keswick is smart! Plus, he has an IN alliance with Dudley and Chameleon! And best of all, Keswick can't stand Bulma! If you can convince Keswick, perhaps there is a chance that Bulma could leave!" Marlene asks: "Only a chance? There's no definite possible future that will ENSURE Bulma's departure that you can see?" Captain Retro says: "Not right now. Besides, my powers don't work THAT way! I can only use them for good, unselfish ends, for the good of ALL the people on this show and/or the world, to make people happy." Marlene says: "Well, Bulma leaving would make ME happy!" Captain Retro says: "All the same, I can't help you in that department, even if I wanted to. Remember, I have rules of my own that I need to follow, lest you forget that important fact!" Marlene sighs and says: "I know. Sometimes...it's just hard to deal with the difficulties at hand." Captain Retro says: "That's why patience and understanding are so important in this game. It's not always easy to have or remember, but showing mercy and compassion when it is needed most, will be the key to determining who wins this entire season. Remember that, and I know you will go far." Marlene says: "Thank you, Captain Retro. I'll go talk to Keswick!"

(Confessional) Robot says: "Bulma may be smart, but she's definitely not used to actually having to COMPETE against other brain-powers in a competition! I know that if all the geniuses in this competition can band together against her, we might be able to take her out! It's certainly better than the alternative, tolerating her!" / Bulma says: "Team Retro will NEVER find anything ON me! I don't REVEAL any embarrassing secrets on MY Confessionals! They'd have to actually have a PERSONAL history about my past to...have...a...chance...ZARBON!!!! He KNOWS everything ABOUT me!!!! And if Team Retro comes up with a sweet enough offer to ENTICE him, he could divulge EVERYTHING he KNOWS about me! I have to make sure Zarbon doesn't say a WORD to anybody!!!!" / Po says: "I love it when a plan comes together! Even Bulma can't POSSIBLY be smarter than a BUNCH of people uniting their brain power together! I think this will be a golden opportunity for us!" / Marlene says: "I understand Captain Retro's concern. Targeting Treeflower last season out of spite, was a BAD strategical idea on MY part! But this time, it's different! Because I'm not the only one who has gripes with Bulma! If other people WANT her out, than we should be happy to OBLIGE them and help them dump the DEAD weight! This is the perfect opportunity for us to dump someone completely ANNOYING on the plane; and I would really LOVE to see Bulma take a FALL!!!! And with any luck, Keswick will be, to!" / Taotie says: "With the fact that he's interested in Freddy Fazbear, Captain Retro has now OFFICIALLY gone from a three, to a whole seven on my Respect-o-meter!" / Captain Retro says: "I consider it unwise to try to alter the course of this game for someone's selfish purposes, that is a dangerous venture. The game may have unfolded in ways I didn't anticipate, but that was more because I decided to take actions into my own hands. I don't want to tamper with the game for the wrong reasons. Besides, there's a really big DANGER in this whole endeavor! If Keswick FAILS, he will be the one to depart the game, and Dudley and Chameleon will be at the mercy of the rest of Team S.R.R.R.C., and I don't want that to happen! Dudley is a fellow canine, and Chameleon has done so much to change over his image! I don't want that to be derailed!" (End Confessional) Marlene goes up to Keswick, and Marlene says: "Keswick, we need to talk!" Keswick gasps and looks around, as if Marlene CERTAINLY didn't just address him! Marlene says: "No, there's nothing wrong with your hearing! I am GENUINELY talking to YOU!!!!" Keswick says: "Sorry! Girls genuinely WANTING to address me and not just make fun of me is a concept that I'm still getting used to!" Marlene says: "We need to talk!" Monster asks: "Why?" Marlene says: "That's on a need-to-know basis, and YOU don't need to know!" Bulma says: "Speaking of need-to-know, Zarbon and I need to have some PRIVATE talk! Don't WE, Zarbon?!!!" Zarbon sighs and says: "If you SAY so!" And Bulma takes Zarbon into the cargo hold of the plane! In the cargo hold, Bulma and Zarbon are initially oblivious that Anti-Timmy has broken OUT of his cage, and is scurrying around in the shadows in the background! Zarbon asks: "I suppose you need to talk to me for an important reason, right?" Bulma says: "You guessed right! I have a stinking suspicion that Team Retro is trying to uncover dirt about my past! I'm not about to let ANYTHING from my past be made public, and you're not going to divulge ANYTHING to ANYBODY!!!!" Zarbon asks: "And what's in it for me?" Bulma says: "I'll go on a DATE with you!!!!" Zarbon says: "I already HAVE a girlfriend! I was thinking more along the lines of an alliance!" Bulma says: "We already HAVE an alliance!" Zarbon says: "I mean a FAIR alliance, one where YOU don't get to call all the shots! I won't tell ANYBODY about your past, and you won't tell ANYBODY about my 'ugly' little secret! Do this for me, and I promise you, we will both wind up to at LEAST the Final Four together, as long as no unexpected developments occur, of course!!!!" Bulma asks: "Like WHAT?!!!!"

But Bulma and Zarbon both FLINCH in shock and horror, when a HUGE pile of heavy crates nearly CRASH on top of them!!!! Zarbon asks: "What just nearly MAIMED my BEAUTY?!!!" Bulma looks up, and SEES Anti-Timmy, looking REALLY zombi-fied!!!! Bulma shouts: "My winner's insurance!!!! He's ESCAPED!!!!" Zarbon looks up and says: "That THING is your winner's insurance?!!! He tried to KILL us!!!!" Bulma says: "I didn't teach him to do THAT!!!! He's supposed to be LOYAL to ME!!!!" And Anti-Timmy runs away! Zarbon says: "Come on! You're going to help me put a STOP to that menace once and for ALL!!!!" Bulma says: "Not on your LIFE!!!! That creature is worth a FORTUNE!!!!" Zarbon seriously asks: "What's more important? A fortune, or your LIFE?!!!!" Bulma, unsure, says: "Well..." Zarbon says: "It's not EXACTLY a trick QUESTION, Bulma!!!!" Than suddenly, Zarbon and Bulma see Anti-Timmy riding on Barry the Bear! Bulma says: "Oh no, Anti-Timmy broke into the dangerous animal section of the plane, where they keep the secret stock of antagonists for this season!!!!" Zarbon says: "You know a LOT more than you're letting ON!!!! I DEMAND to know EXACTLY what your game plan is, RIGHT now!!!!" But before Bulma can answer, they are all interrupted by the intercom, and Anti-Timmy and Barry flee back into the shadows! Sniz says: "Attention passengers/ contestants. Tonight, we will be experiencing a change of scenery, as we fly into Bangkok, Thailand. Not to enjoy the scenery or the culture, but to experience all the THRILLS and chills that the local Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria has to OFFER!!!! It's a challenge I like to call, One Night In Bangkok, and Six Hours At Freddy's!!!!" General Barracuda laughs cruelly and says: "MWA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!! Don't get KILLED tonight!!!!" Zarbon and Bulma turn back around, but they see no sign of Anti-Timmy, or Barry. Zarbon asks: "Anti-Timmy isn't going to be a PROBLEM in this challenge, is he?!!!" Bulma says: "Long story short, probably! Let's just say I may have tampered with his brain so that he KNOWS how to re-program animatronics! If he knows as much as I think he does, we're going to be in for a LONG night!!!!" Zarbon says: "Oh, boy!!!!" (End Prologue, Begin Hours 12 A.M. to 3 A.M. of Night at Freddy's!) / (Commercial Break) I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

[4EverGreen]

It's time for Chapter 2 (AKA: the second part of my "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" episode) Halloween themed episode, "One Night In Bangkok and Six Hours At Freddy's!" / (Episode Disclaimer: Due to my personal strong convictions, I wish to strongly stress that the following presentation, in no way, stresses a belief of the occult.) Jason Cantu.) / (Viewer Disclaimer: There's going to be a LOT of songs ahead. If you don't like, don't read.) /

Arrival: Bangkok, Thailand. Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria. Hours Left: 6. Contestants captured: Zero. / After the commercials finish airing, the plane touches down in the Oriental City of Bangkok, Thailand! Marlene is currently meeting with Keswick in the safety of the Confessional. Keswick asks: "So, why do you want to talk to me here?" Marlene says: "This is the safest place on the plane that I could think of. After all, what happens in the Confessional, doesn't get filtered OUT to the rest of the contestants participating in this game while it's happening!" Keswick says: "Very true, I suppose you want to discuss something with me." Marlene says: "As a matter of fact, I do. I need humiliating DIRT on Bulma Briefs! Something SO damaging, she'd just DIE of humiliation if it were revealed! And it can't just be anything, this information HAS to convince Bulma, the ONLY way to keep her secret safe, is for her to be SENT out of the game!" Keswick says: "I tried talking to Bulma before, but even I'm not THAT desperate!!!! Quite frankly, I don't know who is!" Marlene says: "Perhaps there is another way!" Keswick asks: "What do you mean?"

Marlene says: "The upcoming challenge is happening at a Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria. You never know WHAT kind of dirty secrets a contestant might reveal when they are SCARED out of their wits! And since you're so smart, I figured you might be able to devise a way to scare Bulma Briefs into spilling her GUTS!! Metaphorically speaking, of course!" Keswick asks: "And what do I get in return? I know you're not going to offer a DATE with me!" Marlene says: "Come ON!!!! We ALL want the same thing! You want Bulma gone as much as I do! It's a gift that will keep ON giving, in terms of peace of mind, and not having to LISTEN to her talk!" Keswick says: "Very true. All right, I'm sure I can figure out how to re-program the animatronics to scare Bulma Briefs, but I'm going to need help to do it." Marlene says: "You could ask your alliance, Dudley and Chameleon for help!" Keswick says: "I'll ask them, but I make no promises." Marlene says: "Fair enough. There is just one favor that I ask of you." Keswick asks: "What is that?" Marlene says: "You must tell NOBODY on your team this was MY idea! I can't exactly have YOUR team targeting me!" Keswick says: "That's the REAL trick, isn't it? And it's going to cost you something extra; $10,000; all in advance." Marlene says: "$10,000? I could almost buy my OWN animatronics for THAT!!!!" Keswick asks: "But who would operate them? Robot Default?!" Marlene says: "You bet he COULD! He's not such a BAD genius, himself! I don't need to stay here and listen--!"

Captain Retro shouts from outside the Confessional. Captain Retro says: "Marlene?! Are you DONE in there?!" Marlene says: "As a matter of fact, NO! Keswick is deciding to be DIFFICULT about this!" Captain Retro asks: "Does he want money?" Marlene says: "As a matter of fact, he does." Captain Retro says: "Let me handle this." Marlene opens the door, and Captain Retro walks in. Captain Retro asks: "How much do you want?" Keswick says: "$10,000; to keep my lips sealed." Captain Retro says: "We can pay you $2,000 now, plus, $15,000 if you're successful." Keswick says: "So a $17,000 pay-off! All right, you've got yourself a truce!" Marlene says: "How will we pay him?" Captain Retro says: "We'll have to give up some of the money we won in the San Marino challenge. I'll split the $2,000 in half with you." Marlene says: "Fair enough." And with that, Captain Retro and Marlene both give Keswick $1,000 of their lottery winnings. Keswick says: "The rest, you can leave up to me!" Marlene says: "I can hardly wait!" (Confessional)

Marlene says: "This might be it! This might be the challenge where Bulma Briefs FINALLY buys it! And if Keswick is as smart as he claims to be, getting rid of BULMA should be an easy task! I should thank Captain Retro for intervening, I was about ready to call off the WHOLE thing! The way I see it, this is a win-win for us. If Keswick succeeds, none of us, have to worry about Bulma Briefs anymore. If Keswick fails, I won't have to pay up $15,000 to him, and that will be one less braniac that I have to worry about when the team merge comes. Anyways, paying a monetary price now, is definitely better than having to pay a karmic price later!" / Captain Retro says: "Marlene was getting herself into a potentially dicey situation right then. It's possible that if she called off her deal, Keswick WOULD have told the rest of Team S.R.R.R.C. about it, and then they would ALL be targeting Marlene! Even I don't think that I would have the resources to deal with a problem of that magnitude! That's why I had to intervene, for Marlene's own good!" / Keswick says: "My operating skills are top notch, so figuring out how to work things is no problem. Figuring out what Bulma Briefs is scared about; that's a puzzler! But I've got Six hours to make something work, that should be MORE than enough time for Bulma Briefs to spill the BEANS!! Metaphorically speaking, of course!" (End Confessional)

The three teams all step out of the plane, but Captain Retro stops, when Bulma and Zarbon pass both Marlene and Captain Retro by, with Bulma AND Zarbon looking positively spooked!!!! Captain Retro softly says: "Marlene!" Marlene quietly whispers: "What?" Captain Retro discreetly says: "I think Zarbon and Bulma are trying to HIDE something from us!" Marlene says: "Tell me something I DON'T know!" Captain Retro says: "I've starred in six locally made, California films that have been shown in San Luis Obispo, California, four of which feature either famous actors Timothy Bottoms, Ted Levine, or both!" Marlene asks: "What?" Captain Retro says: "That's SOMETHING you probably didn't know before!" Marlene says: "Oh!" Captain Retro says: "But seriously! Did you get a good luck of their faces?! That's not normal behavior! I can read a bit of Zarbon's Aura. Something got LOOSE, something BAD!!!! And if my suspicions are right, it might be something that even MY powers of Aura detection can't fight against!"

Marlene sarcastically says: "GREAT!!!! As if we didn't have ENOUGH frights to potentially be worried about!" Sniz announces: "May I have your attentions please?!!! We, or, that is to say, you lucky or unlucky contestants; depending on how you want to view it, are about to enter the famed pizza establishment, of Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria! Entertaining children and families since 1987, this eatery has a reputation of it's Animatronics being state of the art marvels of engineering, some EVEN say that they have a life and soul of their own! Even so, there's a dark SIDE to the technology! Someone has recently broken INTO this Pizzeria, and has been tampering with the Animatronics! At night, the Animatronics seem to be CURSED, by an evil that has INFECTED them, corrupting them with impure thoughts, malice, and filling their mechanical hearts with HATE! As a fan of family-friendly eating establishments, me and MY fiancee, Katie, won't STAND for it!" Taotie asks: "Fiancee?" Sniz says: "I nearly LOST Katie in the last challenge! What kind of man would I be, if I didn't get together with the girl I loved, and promise to be there for her? This way, neither of us will die a virgin!" Zim says: "T.M.I., too much information!" Otto asks: "Will there be any chance for romance? As in, a chance to show certain girls that it's the perfect NIGHT to FORGIVE Otto?!!!" Kaput asks: "Could you make your desperation anymore OBVIOUS?!!!"

Otto says: "It wasn't my fault, I SWEAR!!!! I'm even willing to sweat to the Oldies for Suzie!!!! I'll even do the Electric Slide! It's Electric!!!! Yeah!!!! Come on! Do the electric slide!!!!" But Suzie holds her head up high and says: "Nope! I stand firm! Only a sincere apology and a willingness to change will get me to forgive you." Than Suzie's cell phone rings, and Suzie answers: "Hello?" Otto disguises his voice and says: "Call him and tell him you love him!!!!" Suzie says: "Get off the phone, Otto!!!!" Otto forgets himself and says: "I'm not on the PHONE...D'OH!!!!" Everyone else says: "GET OFF THE PHONE!!!!" And Otto hangs up and asks: "Look, would it just HELP if I SAID I was a complete BUTT?!!!" Heffer asks: "Are you making fun of ME?!!!" Otto says: "Come on!!!! I wasn't even TALKING about you! I mean, did I say 'Cow?!' I mean, I think that if I had SAID 'Cow--!" Suzie interrupts and says: "Baby, don't even GO there!!!!" Otto says: "You called me a pet name!!!! We're making progress!" Suzie says: "Could you drop the crazy act?! I've got a challenge to think about!" Otto says: "Think about it with ME! This game doesn't feel RIGHT without you!" Suzie hesitates and says: "Yeah, I'm going to go focus on the challenge now!!!!" Otto desperately says: "WAIT!!!! I...MISS you...I LOVE you...I WANT you back!!!! Okay...I took the first STEP, put myself out on the LEDGE, feeling kind of vulnerable right now!"

Suzie says: "Look, I don't know what you WANT me to say!" Otto says: "Just say you love me and you want me back!" Suzie says: "I already told you, I can't." Otto says: "Come on! What about all the SIGNS this season?! The unexpected eliminations that shouldn't have happened when they did? Kitty Katswell, Haggis McHaggis, Angelica Pickles, Dib, Sway-Sway, Harvey Beaks, Craig Slithers, me coming back in the TENTH episode? Isn't that enough to signify to you that we're SUPPOSED to get back together in SPITE of all the incredible odds?!!! PLEASE!!!! Love me, LOVE me, LOVE ME, LOVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" But Suzie just gets disgusted and says: "I DID!!!!" And as Suzie turns away, Otto defiantly says: "So it's going to be like THAT is it?!!! FINE!!!! Forget it! Forget IT!!!! Forget I EVER mentioned it!!!! Never mind! I'm SORRY!!!! And to THINK, I actually THOUGHT you were COOL!!!! I guess I made a mistake in thinking THAT, to!!!!" And although Otto doesn't see it, Suzie secretly sheds a tear out of Otto's sight.

(Confessional) Suzie sniffles and says: "Otto calling ME 'not cool?' Yeah; that hurts. But it would hurt even more to continue in an unhealthy relationship, and if Otto can't change, I can't be with him, no matter how COOL he is! I have to be strong, and not show him ANY signs of flinching!" / Otto defiantly says: "I don't need HER!!!! I'll just find ANOTHER girl!!!! YEAH!!!! She'll be WAY better than SUZIE!!!! I'm going to GET a girl who won't betray me over ONE LOUSY FIGHT!!!!" (End Confessional) Otto grabs Phoebe and says: "Phoebe, you're my new girlfriend!!!!" Phoebe gets excited and asks: "Really?!!!" Otto sarcastically asks: "Do you see any OTHER Phoebe?! You, me, final three, right here, right NOW!!!!" Phoebe air fist pumps and says: "YES!!!!" (Confessional) Phoebe taunts and sings: "Who has an awesome boyfriend? I have an awesome boyfriend! Who DOESN'T have an awesome boyfriend? RHONDA doesn't have an AWESOME boyfriend! In your FACE, Miss Prom Queen of 2015!" / Otto smugly says: "Suzie will be running back to me ANY second now! Yep!!!! Just ANY second now!!!!" Otto waits for a few seconds, but nothing happens. Than Otto gets worried and asks: "Right?!" / Suzie says: "And here I thought Otto could handle this REASONABLY!!!! NOPE!!!! Wrong about THAT, to!!!! He has to act like an immature jerk about this, TO!!!! The only thing WORSE than a jerk, is a DESPERATE jerk! Sorry, Otto! You're going to have to do a LOT better than PHOEBE as a rebound relationship to try to make ME jealous! As IF you could ever DO that!!" (End Confessional)

Otto taunts and says: "You threw me on the open market like a rag doll?! Well, I'm actually a COLLECTIBLE!!!! One of a kind, and PHOEBE just SNATCHED the last ME up!!!! Bet you wish you hadn't THROWN the most IMPORTANT part of your LIFE away, just NOW!!!!" Suzie just holds her head up high and says: "The more you act like this, the more I become convinced that I made the RIGHT decision to withhold my love from YOU!!!!" And Otto gets flustered!!!! (Confessional) Suzie says: "OOH!!!! That HAD to have been a MEGA burn for HIS ego!!!!" / Otto groans and says: "OOH, why did STUPID Team S.R.R.R.C. have to go and eliminate PEARL, leaving me with just PHOEBE?!!! I NEED to step MY...I mean, 'OUR' game up!!!! I'm kicking it into over-drive!!!!" (End Confessional)

Otto says: "Compliment me on my helmet, dreadlocks, shades, shirt, shorts, shoes, and gloves, not necessarily in that order!" Phoebe starts to ask: "Do I REALLY need...?" Otto says: "Final THREE!!!!" And Phoebe says: "Ooh! I love how GORGEOUS your helmet looks upon your dreadlocks! It REALLY compliments the SHADES over your eyes, which go GREAT with your shirt, shorts, shoes, and gloves ensemble!!!!" Otto says: "HAH!!!! She's complimenting ME!!!! HER boyfriend!!!! Feeling SORRY, yet!!!!" Suzie shakes her head and says: "Nope, just disappointed." Otto screams: "WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!" Suzie says: "That Otto Rocket would have to stoop to the intelligence level of a Neanderthal, to try to make me jealous, in a desperate attempt to win me back, without trying to admit HE was wrong to start a fight with Patrick for no good reason!!!!" Otto screams: "No good REASON?!!! He INSULTED me, right to MY face!!" Patrick says: "Only because you were acting like a Grade-A JERK for no good reason!!!! And it's not just ME, in case you haven't noticed; the whole REST of your team thinks that your ego is too BIG for your own GOOD!!!!" Otto angrily says: "Don't you realize that I am the BEST?!!! So, don't I DESERVE the BEST?!!!"

Spongebob angrily says: "You don't get someone by being the most physically able person in a competition or even in life, you get someone by being someone who DESERVES the kind of person you REALLY want! Do you want to know how I got Sandy? Not by being macho, but by being kind, and gentle to her. By being compassionate and understanding. You may be physically dominate, but the qualities of being good boyfriend material, don't seem to suit a guy as stubborn as YOU are!!!!" Otto gets mad and says: "Phoebe, step up your PRETTY game!! How do you EVER expect to make Suzie JEALOUS enough to come back to me?!" Phoebe gets hurt and asks: "Is that all I am to you? Just another accessory?!" Otto sarcastically says: "Do you think I would even give you the time of DAY under any other circumstances?! The heart wants what it WANTS, and it WANTS Suzie! Is it MY fault you'll give it up for ANY guy willing to as so MUCH give you the time of day?!" Phoebe angrily asks: "How could you?!" Otto says: "I can tell you something ELSE!!!! If you DON'T help me get MY Suzie back, I can personally guarantee that YOU will be the next contestant off this team, going HOME! And I don't care whether or not you ARE the only girl left on this team, or the only representative from Hey Arnold!; playing this season, I came to win, and I'm going to win SOMETHING, even if it's only a girl!" Phoebe asks: "Have you even THOUGHT about how you're going to back up your actions with me?!"

Otto says: "I've thought of ONE thing, and it will be VERY effective!" Phoebe sighs and says: "What do I have to do?" Otto says: "Make yourself drop dead gorgeous before the end of the night. Suzie will find out that she's not the ONLY girl who can make herself pretty on a dime!" Suzie shakes her head and says: "You're pathetic!" Otto defiantly retorts: "You're pathetic-er!" Phoebe says: "You're BOTH stubborn FOOLS!!!! Can't you just GIVE it UP Otto, and tell Suzie you're SORRY, already?!!!" Otto angrily says: "NO!!!!" Phoebe sarcastically says: "Well, excuse ME for making a SUGGESTION!!!!" (Confessional) Phoebe angrily says: "I can't BELIEVE the situation I've gotten myself into! This is WHY I don't PURSUE outer-show relationships! Why did I EVER allow myself to think Otto actually WANTED me?!!! I mean, BESIDES the fact that I WAS desperate for a relationship?!!!" / Otto says: "I'm not going to APOLOGIZE, not after the way Suzie's been treating me! If she wants ME to apologize, she can keep on WANTING!!!! AIN'T...GOING...TO...HAPPEN!!!!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "If you're done bickering, it's time you all found out what the theme for tonight is; surviving six hours at Freddy's! To do that, each team will have different roles! Team Retro, for having such a long history of winning, you have the benefit of being the security guards. You'll be able to monitor the locations of the animatronics, prevent them from trying to pick members of your own team off, and if you so choose, save any of the innocent bystanders in the pizzeria! Team S.R.R.R.C., I hope you're into SCARING, because you get to WORK with the animatronics, and send them after BOTH the security guards, and the innocent bystanders! But even though you get to work WITH the animatronics, be CAREFUL!!!! There's no telling which animatronics are loyal to you, or who wants to capture YOU, and put you into a spare Freddy Fazbear Robot Suit! And Team Adversity, your job, as the innocent bystanders, all you have to do is make it through the one night of Freddy's, six hours long. It won't be easy, seeing as how there are at LEAST eight animatronic machines in the Pizzeria! Eleven if you count Toy Freddie, Toy Bonnie, and Toy Chica, as separate animatronic entities. In any case, to help you out, various parts of the Pizzeria will be made safe zones. The tricky part is, each safe zone will only REMAIN a safe zone for a limited amount of time! Your wrist communicators will alert you when you have ARRIVED in a safe zone, and when that safe zone is set to expire! Whichever team has the most contestants left who AREN'T captured, will be safe from elimination, tonight!"

Katie comes out and says: "And tell them about what happens to the OTHER teams!" Dog asks: "Why? What happens to the other teams?" Sniz says: "You're not going to be HAPPY about this! Both the last place team, AND the second place team, will have to eliminate SOMEBODY after everything is said and done; only the FIRST place team, will remain untouched! So no pressure! Oh, and the second place team gets to decide which SUCKER on the last place team gets sent PACKING!!!!" General Barracuda says: "Prepare yourselves, contestants, for One Night, In Bangkok!!!!" (Bangs a LOUD gong!!!!) General Barracuda says: "And six hours at FREDDIE'S!!!!" (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!) Randolph says: "I had a FEELING that was coming up!" /

Genre: New Wave. Sub-Genre: Thai Music. Song: "One Night In Bangkok." Sung by: Cast! / Captain Retro: "Bangkok, Oriental setting; and the city don't know what the city is getting." Marlene: "The creme de la creme of the restaurant world in a show with everything but Jeremy Fitzgerald!" Keswick: "Time flies, doesn't seem a minute since the Tirolean Spa had the pizza boys in it." Gonard: "All change, don't you know that when you play at this level, there's no ordinary venue." Bulma: "It's Iceland, or the Philippines, or Hastings, or this place." Team Retro: "One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster, the bars are temples but the pearls ain't free." Sanjay: "You'll find a God in every golden cloister." Robot: "And if you're lucky then the God's a she." Globitha: "I can feel an angel sliding up to me!" Suzie: "One town's very like another when your head's down over your pieces, Brother!" Otto: "It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity, to be looking at pizza, not looking at the city." Heffer: "Whaddya mean?" Zarbon: "Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town..." Monster: "Tea girls, warm and sweet, warm, sweet; some are set up in the Somerset Maugham Suite." Gordon Quid: "Get Thai'd"! Zim: "Who ordered the tourist?!" General Barracuda: "His every move's among the purest!" Fondue: "I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine!" Team Adversity: "One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble, not much between despair and ecstasy." Randolph: "One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble!" Dog: "Can't be too careful with your company!" Skipper, referring to Zim: "I can feel the Devil walking next to me." (Instrumental Solo)

King Julien: "Siam's gonna be the witness to the ultimate test of cerebral fitness!" Stimpy: "This grips me more than would a muddy old river or Reclining Buddha!" Sniz: "Thank God, I'm only watching the game, controlling it!" Otto: "I don't see YOU guys rating, the kind of mate I'm contemplating! I'd let you watch, I would invite you!" Po: "But the queens we use would not excite you!" Tigress: "So you better go back to your bars, your temples!" Reggie: "Your massage parlors!" Team Adversity: "One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster, the bars are temples but the pearls ain't free!" Norbert: "You'll find a God in every golden cloister!" Rocko: "A little flesh, a little history!" Daggett, referring to Norbert: "I can feel an angel sliding up to me!" Cast: "One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble!" Taotie: "Not much between despair and ecstasy." Kaput: "One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble!" Oonski: "Can't be too careful with your company." Zarbon, secretly referring to Bulma: "I can feel the Devil walking next to me!" / And the epic song ends! Sniz says: "Everybody, into the pizzeria! And don't forget, have fun!!!!" And all the contestants go in! Sniz says: "General Barracuda, monitor the progress, and DO make sure all the contestants come out of there alive. I've got a PRIVATE date with Katie, and we are going to have a HOT time in Bangkok, tonight!" General Barracuda laughs deviously as he says: "Oh, you can COUNT on it!"

And General Barracuda enters through the back entrance, Fondue goes back into the plane, and Sniz and Katie take off. HOWEVER, they are all unaware, that a very EVIL animatronic, named Springtrap, has been WATCHING the whole thing, and uttering the creepy voice of Ted Levine, he speaks! Springtrap says: "So, Freddy Fazbear thought he could decomission ME, and toss me away like some cheap, defective, mechanical typewriter, as if I was a USELESS piece of machinery, well, I'll show EVERYONE soon enough, that you can't get rid of Springtrap, I AM the show!!!! You want to entertain somebody? You better make sure SOMEBODY gets hurt before the night is over! Master Coelaceanth may have had his body destroyed, but I, possess his SOUL!! Yes, I was Master Coelaceanth ONCE, before Oonski took an AXE to me and CHOPPED off my head!!!! One minute, I'm ruler of the ENTIRE ocean, the next, I'm a sushi platter in a Red Lobster!!!! Now, does ANYBODY think I'm happy about MY fate?! Of course not!!!! In desperation, I had to transfer my soul into something, ANYTHING with the capacity to handle MY evil and power; an empty vessel! I just didn't think I'd wind up in THIS! No matter, it will suit my purposes MORE than adequately enough! Soon, everyone will fear Springtrap just as much as they feared Master Coelaceanth! Prepare yourselves, little lambs! It's TIME, to WELCOME, to MY Nightmare!!!!" And lightning strikes out of nowhere, as a creepy melody begins to play! /

Genre: Shock (Psychedelic) Rock. Sub-Genre: Alice Cooper. Song: "Welcome To My Nightmare." Sung by: Springtrap! / Springtrap: "Welcome to my nightmare, I think you're gonna like it, I think you're gonna feel you belong. A nocturnal vacation, unnecessary sedation, you want to feel at home, cause you belong. Welcome to my nightmare whoa, ho, ho, ho...Welcome to my breakdown. I hope I didn't scare you. That's just the way we are when we come down. We sweat and laugh and scream here. 'Cause life is just a dream here. You know inside you feel right at home, here. Yeah, Welcome to my nightmare yeah, hey, hey, hey... Welcome to my nightmare! I think you're gonna like it! I think you're gonna feel you belong! We sweat and laugh and scream here! 'Cause life is just a dream here! You know inside you feel right at home, here! Welcome to my nightmare hoo, hoo, woo, hoo...welcome to my breakdown...yeah!" / And the epic song ends! (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

Edited October 25, 2015 by 4EverGreen