Spin-off Action: The Great SBC Race

[President Squidward]

I love how I'm in a Wander team.

[Hayden]

The Wander Bros and Brother/Sister so far look like the front runners of this competition.

[The Crow]

#SaveTheTurntables

[Space Cowboy]

Just reading this now, it's so great xD

[Guest]

Oh man, you got me down. Hype for new episodes.

[CDCB]

My sincerest apologies go out to any pain Clappy went through when writing my brilliant puns. Perhaps I'll cover the medical bills with some of the prize money if I win...

[So Sejima]

My sincerest apologies go out to any pain Clappy went through when writing my brilliant puns. Perhaps I'll cover the medical bills with some of the prize money if I win...

You forgot the people that have to read them.

[ClassicNickelodeon Fan 1]

Ha Clappy that was spot on. Loved the Sailor Moon reference.

#NostalgicsGonnaWinBitches

[Clappy]

Time to wrap things up with Part 2.

2. Her Name is Rio (Part 2)

JCM: Welcome back.  Surprised you guys are still reading this.  Thought for sure we would be put on the sideline for another shameless Total Drama parody lol.  We last left our carbon copies trying to get to Ronald Reagan National airport, only problem is it’s rush hour and Washington D.C. is a nightmare….and some of our user base is too young to have their permit and/or license.  Which is a major advantage for some of our teams and a drawback for the others.

 

The Skypers, The Mega Minds, The Music Critics, Team Grande, Team Hell No, The New Yorkers, Team Countdown, The Nostalgics, The Twins, Team Total Cartoon, and The Asian Connection all are lucky to have the capability to drive their own personal vehicles there and are the frontrunners to get on the first flight to Rio.  Meanwhile, that leaves the Red Hot Chili Steppers, Team Mystery Shack, The Bronies, Team Ween, The Wander Bros, The Film Fanatics, and Brother/Sister scrambling to find means of transportation.

 

Trophy: Well that screams unfair.

 

Rev: Well this was short lived for me to be relevant in a popular SBC lit.  Guess that means I’m not important after all.

 

Jjs: Guys will you cut it out.  Otherwise, you’ll end up like Storm and Blaze and off the forums.

 

Teenj: Well that’s a little harsh jjs.  Think twice, but act once.

 

Prez: Lol we’re screwed.

 

Metal Snake: Objection!  You guys are screwed.

 

The Bronies get away in the taxi they flagged down while others were complaining about the unfair advantage.  That moment tailed the rest of the teams into high gear as they started to flag down taxis one by one.  Everyone started making their way to the airport, including JCM by cameo.  As The Music Critics arrive first to the airport.

 

Clappy: Yeah being from around this area for a while, I have Washington D.C. mapped in my memory banks.

 

Wumbo: That’s nice to know if I ever run for office, I can always count on you to show me your land from sea to shining sea.

 

Clappy: Thank you for the somewhat unnecessary sarcasm.

 

Wumbo: Gotta eat the booty like groceries.

 

Clappy: That joke won’t be dated by the time this episode is finished.

 

But of course Clappy isn’t the only contestant from the VA/MD area as The Nostalgics come in second thanks to CD.

 

CDCB: You know what they say, first is the worst, second is the best.

 

CNF: ….oh thank god that wasn’t a joke.

 

CD:  I don’t always have to make amazing jokes.  I can have normal dialogue like anyone else.

 

CNF: I wasn’t saying that you can’t.

 

CD: Come on CNF let’s not….OODELAY this any longer.

 

CNF: 

 

The Music Critics and The Nostalgics are the first two to make the first flight, who else will be joining them?

 

Team Grande arrives at the airport soon after followed closely by The New Yorkers, Team Hell No, The Asian Connection, The Twins, The Mega Minds, and The Skypers as they make it all onto the first flight to Rio.

 

Kat: Not a bad flight to be on.

 

Omair: OMG all my favorite llamas all together on one flight.  This is amazeballs lel.

 

Termi: …yeah you can say that.

 

hilaryfan80: I bet we can make this flight wi-fi compatible so we can have a SBC movie night on the plane.

 

Face: Yeah so you can all be distracted by the movie playing at the arrival time so hilaryfan80 and I can get a head start on the race.

 

Nugs: Why do I have a lowkey feeling that Face’s scratched out dialogue is the underlying intention of Air SBC Movie Night.

 

Dylan: Quit being a little bitch and be grateful we have hilaryfan80 and Face on our flight.

 

Tyeam: If that’s his plan, then it’s glorious.

 

OMJ: Don’t you mean it’s lemon scented?

 

As our first flight contestants board off, the other two teams who got the headstart arrived late and our unfortunately booked on the second flight with the rest of the left behind.

 

Homie: Don’t you live around here?  The fact we are in the last place flight group is all your fault.

 

70s: 

 

Homie: 

 

Hayden: Sorry we’re so late, but CRUSHING didn’t understand my GREAT sense of direction.

 

Crushing: I’ll learn to do better next time.

 

Hayden: You better.  I should have picked 4EverGreen to be my partner.  HE would have understood my AMAZING team name.

 

Crushing: 4EverGreen was available to be your partner, but I’m grateful I was selected anyway.

 

Hayden: NOT ENOUGH said true believers.

 

One by one, the other seven teams all ended up finding their way to the airport as the second flight consists of Team Countdown, Team Total Cartoon, The Red Hot Chili Steppers, Team Mystery Shack, The Bronies, Team Ween, The Wander Bros, The Film Fanatics, and Brother/Sister.

 

Asia: HAYDEN!  I got a few words to say to you.

 

Steel: Well it seems like one of these nine teams is bound to finish in dead last at this rate.  Ill go ahead and do:

 

STEEL’S BOTTOM 9 WORST TEAMS ON SOA: THE GREAT SBC RACE.

 

 

9. Team Ween

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzIHkFJnLbc

 

Now I am a fan of Ocean Man, but this sounds like an audio nightmare.  The crescendo from the chorus to the verses is a bit choppy and I don’t like the warpy sounds this vibe gives me…

 

 

Hal: You call that good analysis of our team? :tom:

 

Elastic: Dude fuck off.  That song is great.

 

Cyanide: Yeah that song is great.  I LICK MY BRAIN IN SILENCE RATHER SQUEEZE MY HEAD INSTEAD

 

Hal: Get away from my partner you sadistic fuck.

 

SOF: Hal that’s gross.

 

JCM: Speaking of gross, our second flight team is one hour behind our first flight team.  Once our competitor’s flights land in Rio, our teams must make their way by taxi to the Christ the Redeemer statue and find our good friend Mandy to receive their next assignment.  Take it away Mandy.

 

Mandy: Well thanks JCM.  Our competitors will be doing the first of two regularly scheduled tasks amongst The Great SBC Race.  Today’s task will be a Stop What You Are Doing.  In Stop What You Are Doing’s, teams will have to choose one member to complete an assigned task until finished.  When it comes to future SWYAD’s, members will have to rotate regularly.  No member will be allowed to do two Stop What You Are Doing’s in a row, otherwise it will result in a one hour penalty.  Back to you JCM.

 

JCM: Thanks Mandy.

 

Sylvia: It’s Sylvia now.

 

JCM: ….uuuhh, ok lol.  Looks like our first flight is landing now and…..why is only hilaryfan80 and Face the only team departing the plane.

 

hilaryfan80: Because we were the only team not distracted by the movie.  We delayed the movie until literally one hour before landing and with their headphones locked in, sounding out the captain of the plane and any sort of announcement of upon arrival.

 

Face: Nothing in the rules against that.

 

JCM: Fair point lol.

 

hilaryfan80 and Face then flagged down a taxi and are now on their way to the Christ the Redeemer statue.  Meanwhile, back on the plane.

 

Omair: Aaron Samuels is CUTE LEL

 

Kevin: Not as cute as Storm.

 

Everyone stopped and starred at Kevin.

 

Shin: Not cool mini-me.  Not cool.

 

Cha: What happened to my fellow gingers?

 

Sauce: What do you mean Orange Ann?

 

Nugs: You mean my lowkey vibes were right, who would have thought?

 

CNF: Those fucking bastards.

 

Clappy: Well gee, looks like we were handed the idiot ball.

 

Wumbo: Riffing theater material right here folks.

 

OMJ: I’ll keep that in mind.

 

The other eight teams rushed out of the plane and flagged down to taxis to play catch up with the front running hilaryfan80 and Face who finally arrived and discovered Mandy Sylvia with their next clue.

 

hilaryfan80: Boy am I happy to see you Sylvia.

 

Hilary Duff: It’s Hillary now.

 

Face: I guess that name change was so yesterday. *takes clue*

 

hilaryfan80: It’s a Stop What You’re Doing.

 

Hilary Duff: According to JCM, for this SWYAD, you must make your way to Rio’s Carnival celebration where you will meet with some of the celebration’s dancers.  One of you will learn how to Samba and must perform the Samba correctly with your squad of backup dancers.  After you meet the approval of the head dancer, you will receive the ok to go to the pit stop by the Beach where the last team to meet JCM will be eliminated.

 

hilaryfan80: Well, we didn’t spend years and years of listening/watching K-Pop videos to not succeed at this task, I’ll volunteer as tribute to Girls Generation.

 

Face: Lucky.

 

As Face and hilaryfan80 headed off, a half hour later, the other eight teams arrived one by one to meet Hilary Duff.

 

Gonard: Now I’m Gonard.

 

Cha: Not the 4.

 

Aya: And I’m Jack Spicer….like it really matters.

 

OMJ: It does matter braddah, I ain’t dancing.

 

Sauce: I bet you would dance for Kip.

 

OMJ: That’s different little cuz.

 

Sauce: I’m dancing for Kat and I, so you should too.

 

OMJ: Fine, if it will get you off my back.

 

Wumbo: I don’t dance.

 

Clappy: I know you can.

 

Wumbo: Not a chance.

 

Clappy: Fine I guess I will.

 

CDCB: I’ll do the noodle dance!

 

Dylan: I was born for this bitches! ~

 

Omair: Termi, I bet your dancing will make all the other llamas drop their mouths.

 

Termi: ….sure why not.

 

Kevin: I’ll do it because Sauce dances in her Snap stories all the time!

 

As everyone raced off to the Carnival, Cha and Katie were undecided as to who would be dancing amongst the both of them.

 

Tyeam: Both of us are kinda shy and not really into dancing.

 

Cha: I mean we can do it in private, but we both get very afraid when it comes to public performances.

 

So while Cha and Tyeam pondered, hilaryfan80 and Face arrived at the Carnival.

 

hilaryfan80: I’m ready!

 

hilaryfan80 was getting instructions as to how to perform the samba, unfortunately he wasn’t being as attentive since he kept dancing with images of Sunny, Tiffany, Taeyeon and others in his head.  When it came to performance time, hilaryfan80 faltered and was rejected by the head dancer and told to head backstage and keep practicing before getting another chance to prove himself.

 

As all of this was going on, the second flight finally arrived as the rest of the teams all got off at the same time and started to flag down taxis with two teams faltering behind.

 

Asia: I finally found you Hayden.

 

Hayden: Eww gross, it’s Asia.  You are so dumb.  I’ve been on that plane the ENTIRE time.  What do you want NOW?

 

Asia: I just wanted to say…..hi.

 

Hayden: ……

 

Teenj: Hayden, you’re all Asia talks about.  You know what young girls think at this time of their life when a boy teases them.

 

Hayden: …..

 

Crushing: I think Hayden is speechless because of his heart.

 

Hayden: I DO NOT LIKE ASIA YOU IDIOTS.  CAN’T YOU SEE THAT IS A LITTLE KID?  THIS ISN’T TOTAL CARTOON FORCED SHIPPINGS.  GET REAL PEOPLE.

 

Asia then proceeded to run away crying into the restroom.

 

Teenj: See what you made her do Hayden?  I can’t leave here until she is ok.

 

Hayden: Fine.  It’s your loss once JCM notices you’re in last place.  Let’s go crushing.

 

Crushing: I’m sorry Hayden.  It’s against my good guy nature to leave when someone is distressed.

 

Hayden: ……

 

While Asia is away crying, others finally started to arrive at Carnival and while hilaryfan80 kept failing, others quickly caught on to samba as Sauce was able to manage to succeed on her first try.

 

Sauce: My years of dancing really managed to help me catch on to samba-ing quickly.  It really isn’t that different.

 

The head dancer approved and gave Team Grande their map towards the Pit Stop at Copacabana Beach a few feet away.  As they left, up next was Termi who managed to make Omair drop his Nutella in amazement over Termi’s dancing.

 

Termi: ….let’s pretend this never happened like all of these other SBC lits.

 

Omair: I’ll never forget it.

 

The New Yorkers were next to depart as Kevin failed at trying to replicate Sauce’s snap stories.

 

Kevin: I don’t get it.  I’ve watched Sauce for years and don’t understand why I can’t do what she does.

 

Shin: ….that’s not creepy at all.

 

While others kept dancing….and failing.  The teams that left the airport minus Total Cartoon and Bro/Sis got to Christ the Redeemer where Cha/Tyeam were still pondering and Gonard was amidst another identity crisis.

 

Cyborg: I think you mean Cyborg.

 

Trophy: JUST GIVE ME THE CLUE OR YOUR CANNON FODDER. 

 

Cyborg: Geez, no need to be so rude.

 

Trophy: You’re dancing Rev.

 

Rev: I don’t get a say in this?

 

Trophy:

 

Rev: ….ok

 

Jjs:….what’s that SOF?

 

*SOF pcs Jjs*

 

Jjs: Sure I can teach you to dance.

 

Sbnator: My boy Stephen Colbert taught me how to dance, I’m down.

 

70s:

 

Homie: 

 

Prez: I’ll make Ice Bear proud.

 

Elastic: Only if I can mosh, I’ll dance.

 

Steel: Do I?

 

Metal: Yes, there’s no way in hell I’m doing it.

 

Steel: Well I guess I’ll have enough time to study Channel Awesome for a dancing video on the ride there.

 

Cha: Katie, we’re losing our lead.  We should choose now.

 

Tyeam: I’ll take this one….but I’m pretty nervous.

 

After finally making the big decisions on who is doing the first SWYAD, Team Grande finally reached the Pit Stop as JCM was looking elsewhere.

 

Kat: …..uh JCM?  We’re here.

 

Sauce: JCM?

 

JCM was still out of it.

 

Kat: Bump.

 

JCM: Oh hey, someone bumped me.  Team Grande.  You’re team number one.

 

Sauce: Greet!  What do we win?!

 

JCM: Nothing.  Now get out!  Because here comes The New Yorkers.

 

Omair: Sauce!  KLT! 

 

Termi: I guess that makes us team two.

 

JCM: Lol yep.

 

Termi: Eh, it’s better than nothing.

 

Omair: This calls for some gay squids.

 

 

Termi: Oh boy.  Just what I need to make my life complete.

 

However, as those two teams finished, two teams still haven’t even left the airport.

 

Teenj: Come on Hayden, be nice.

 

Hayden: You know I can do this race BY MYSELF.

 

Crushing: Not according to the rules.  Both of us have to be there together.

 

Hayden: …….

 

Teenj: How hard is it to say one nice thing about anyone Hayden?  I know you can do it.

 

Hayden: Fine…..at least Asia isn’t Deswim.

 

Asia: *sobs* ….you mean it?

 

Hayden: Yeah because no one has actually seen Deswim on chat.  There now let’s go.

 

Crushing: Eh…works for me.

 

Asia: Let’s beat Hayden!

 

Meanwhile one by one other teams started to arrive at Carnival as hilaryfan80 finally gets the samba right as well as Clappy.

 

Wumbo: Man Clappy.  You would think Todd would have taught you anything watching his show.

 

Clappy: ….harlem shake.

 

Wumbo: *holds in rage*

 

Clappy: Tell it to your blog.

 

As well as CD.

 

CD: HAH!  I knew the noodle dance and the samba would be similar to each other.

 

CNF: They are nothing alike….how was that fucking possible.

 

CD: You are underestimating my awesome skills clearly.

 

And Dylan.

 

Dylan: Suck it Nugs.

 

Nugs: ….that was garb fam.

 

But OMJ and Kevin still couldn’t grasp it.

 

OMJ: Those damn eyelashes tricked me again.

 

Aya: You clearly need motivation.

 

OMJ: Maybe if I could just see dat ass.  It’s been awhile.  It could help me.

 

Aya: 

 

OMJ: Man.  Why did she have to go and retire.  That helped.

 

Aya: Now time for you to repay the favor….

 

OMJ: Fine.

2StraightEdgy4WWE

 

While OMJ and Aya went back and forth with AJ/Punk gifs, some of the late arrivals found early success as Homie was able to get it on his first try.

 

Homie:

 

As was sbnator.

 

Sbnator: 

 

And Prez.

 

Prez: 

 

But others were still struggling.

 

Jjs: Yes SOF.  You move your feet while dancing.  Yes SOF you can move your arms.  No, not like that SOF.  Here let me show you.  Hey JCM.

 

*JCM cameos out of nowhere*

 

Jjs: Is it too late for me to commit.  I don’t think SOF understands how to dance.

 

JCM: As long as SOF does the next SWYAD, any team can change only on this one.

 

*cameos back to the Pit Stop*

 

Jjs: Fine I’ll do this one SOF.

 

Shin: Wait we can change for this time?  Kevin, get your ass off the stage.  I’ll do this.

 

Both Jjs and Shin are able to samba and finish the challenge as well.  Meanwhile, back with our dead last two teams they finally arrived at whoever SG decides to be this time.

 

Eric Cartman: I think you mean Eric Cartman.

 

Hayden: Whatever.  SG has changed her name too many times.  The joke is obvious.

 

Crushing: I will dance.

 

Asia: ME TOO!

 

Teenj: Are you sure Asia?

 

Asia: Yeah, I want to dance too.

 

We get a montage of the other teams arriving at the Pit Stop.

 

3. The Twins

 

4. The Music Critics

 

5. The Nostalgics

 

6. The Skypers

 

7. Team Countdown

 

8. The Film Fanatics

 

9. The Wander Bros

 

10. The Asian Connection

 

11. Team Mystery Shack

 

As more people finally start to finish up the sambaing

 

OMJ: Mang dat was one hot ask me back and forth.  Almost forgot about the contest.

 

Aya: Golly.

 

Elastic: I’m never dancing again.

 

Hal: Next time, let me shake my halibooty.

 

Cha: See Katie?  You weren’t that bad.

 

Tyeam: 

 

Rev: Trophy you better be thankful that I was listening to some RHCP while doing this.

 

Trophy: Which song?

 

Rev: Give It Away.

 

Trophy: Fine, you’ll pass this time.

 

However, Steel still needs some fine tuning.

 

Steel: I….can’t…find…any…videos….

 

Metal: Dude, just dance.  Stop wasting your time on YouTube.  We’re far behind everyone else.

 

Meanwhile,

 

12. Team Hell No

 

13. Team Ween

 

14. The Mega Minds

 

15. The Red Hot Chili Steppers

 

Team Total Cartoon and Brother/Sister finally arrived at Carnival.

 

Hayden: HAH!  Look Steel’s still here!  We got a chance.

 

Teenj: Go ahead Asia.  Show them what you are made of.

 

However, much to everyone’s surprise.  Steel finally succeeded.

 

Metal: See that Steel.  You don’t need other people to teach you how to dance.

 

Steel: Actually, I found a video on YouTube of Channel Awesome doing the Carlton that made me adapt quickly.

 

Hayden: Shit.  You better do this right on the first try Crushing before…..

 

Asia: Brother!  I did it!

 

Hayden: …..fuck….COME ON CRUSHING.

 

Crushing: Hayden believes me.  I better not let him down.

 

As crushing went out to the stage, he actually managed to samba on the first try just like Asia and succeeded.

 

Hayden: THAT A BOY Crushing.

 

Crushing: I’m Hispanic.  I know how to Samba.

 

Hayden: Who would have thought.

 

It quickly became a three team race to the Pit Stop as all three teams flagged down taxis and raced their way to the beach.  All three teams arrived at the same time and opened their doors in unison as it became a foot race to the pit stop when suddenly….

 

Hayden: Hey Asia, I bet you can beat me there with your eyes closed.

 

Teenj: Asia, NO!

 

Asia: You’re on Hayden.

 

JCM: …..well gee I wonder who’s going to lose lol….oh hey look.   Metal Snake and Steel.  You are Team 16.  Hayden and Crushing, you are Team 17.

 

As the other two teams celebrated, teenj and Asia arrived last to the pit stop.

 

JCM: Teenj and Asia.  Looks like you are the last team to arrive.

 

Teenj: Hayden tricked my sister into banning herself from the competition.  I demand proper justice.

 

Crushing: Hayden, that wasn’t very noble of you.

 

Hayden: Crushing.  It is a RACE.  I’m willing to troll whoever I can if it means saving us from ELIMINATION.

 

JCM: Sorry guys, we have to wrap this up now.  Teenj and Asia, you’re out of the race.  Go ahead and board the boat of losers and never return.  Ever…whoops wrong show lol.

 

Teenj: It’s unfair that we were eliminated in such a one note fashion.  Maybe I should refresh Team SpongeBob until its number one this week on SpongeBoard.  Sounds like fair revenge.

 

Asia: I’m not done with Hayden yet.  This isn’t over.  I’ll annoy him until he’s gone.

 

JCM: And just like that, we’re down to 17.  Where will we go next time?  Who’s skin will Hayden try to get under now just to further his team to winning?

 

Hayden: Oh Katniss!

 

JCM: Find out next time on JCMovies.

 

(The End)

 

[Guest]

Another great episode!

[Clappy]

Another great episode!

Much appreciation from all of y'all.  Thank you!

[101 Dalmatian Street]

This is great! Can't wait for the next episode in 6 months or so.

[BoJack Horseman]

That was hilarious. Great episode Clappy. However, one question, where was I in this episode? Did sbnator kill me or something like that? 

[So Sejima]

That was hilarious. Great episode Clappy. However, one question, where was I in this episode? Did sbnator kill me or something like that? 

At least you weren't in the bottom half for some reason or another.

[Clappy]

This is great! Can't wait for the next episode in 6 months or so.

Boy if there was ever an instance of the pot calling the kettle black.

That was hilarious. Great episode Clappy. However, one question, where was I in this episode? Did sbnator kill me or something like that? 

I try to give everyone at least one line per episode and I can't believe I forgot to give you a line.  My apologies WhoBob.  I'll make it up to you not to worry.

[President Squidward]

"lol we are screwed" sounds like something I would say

[Dragonball Z]

I would REALLY be surprised if an episode of this show were ever called "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now," and that song would actually SOMEHOW ever be fit into the episode of the show, that would REALLY be funny! (In case you couldn't tell, I'm listening to Starship's epic awesome song, "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" while I'm writing this!) Cool, just like the 1980's! Good luck to Team Total Cartoon!

[BoJack Horseman]

At least you weren't in the bottom half for some reason or another.

lol

 

Boy if there was ever an instance of the pot calling the kettle black.

I try to give everyone at least one line per episode and I can't believe I forgot to give you a line.  My apologies WhoBob.  I'll make it up to you not to worry.

ok, thanks