4EverGreen

I wonder when they're going to get to "Bubble Season?"

Not the kind of bubbles I was going for, but I'll take it!

...I think this GIF speaks for itself.

To paraphrase Elmer Fudd: "Pop the bubble, pop the bubble, pop the bubble!" Bugs Bunny: "Pop the bubble?"

Sometimes, I feel like Jeff Goldblum in "Jurassic Park", in regard to some of the writers who spend SO much time writing such GROSS and unnecessary episodes like THIS one. I just want to say to them, "You spent SO much time thinking about whether or not you COULD write something that GROSS, you never STOPPED to think about whether or not you SHOULD! Just because an animated show like "Hey Arnold" featured bird pooping, that does NOT make it all right or acceptable for ANY cartoon show (let alone, THIS one), to feature it! Also, the episode title is a misnomer! There are no BIRDS in this episode; it should be titled "SquidClam"! Granted, it's not like Spongebob and Patrick were telling the clams to go THROUGH Squidward's house, and they actually figured out in the MIDDLE of this episode (as opposed to finding out TOO late or not at all) that Squidward didn't WANT the clams NEAR him! So they at least TRIED to teach the clams to AVOID Squidward, they had no way of KNOWING that the clams would think that they should DESTROY everything valuable of Squidward's! I don't know HOW Squidward thought it would POSSIBLY be a good idea to get a giant scallop to attack the clams! Squidward had NO way of controlling it, and he should have made SURE that the giant scallop would NOT grow to protect the clams! It's pretty sad that the only thing that prevents this episode from being a TOTAL stinker is Squidward getting stripped shirtless TWICE; and it's also sad that Squidward thinks that getting dumped into the volcano from "Squidcano," is STILL better than living next door to Spongebob and Patrick! I'd give this episode segment a 4.4 out of 10 at best! Enough said, true believers!

Subway is my favorite. Also, hot dogs ARE a sandwich, but ONLY on a technicality!

Because I'm still hoping for a response regarding the OTHER series I write for, I shall amuse myself (and hopefully some other people) by FINALLY writing the next episode of "Total Cartoon Legends"! / Sniz is seen driving in a car, and without looking at the camera, he angrily says: "LAST time on Total Cartoon Legends, an arrogant man who shall forever remain SWAY-SWAY, did the most HORRIBLE thing in the world EVER!!!!...Okay, maybe not the most HORRIBLE thing in the world EVER, but STILL pretty bad! After a brief trip down memory lane, it was time to collect the Lost Lucky Pocket Watch of Henry Ford, as well as some other Legends that we didn't get to collect during this season! But SWAY-SWAY had to go and RUIN it by over-reacting to the fact that Buhdeuce could now FLY while he couldn't, and he CRASHED his Rocket Van into a tree, WRECKING our VALUABLE studio, and damaging his OWN good looks! Thankfully, thanks to the fact that Buhdeuce was willing to pay the bill for the damages, $35.6 million and 25 cents of his $40 million prize, we hired a really GOOD repair guy, someone who former contestant Heffer Wolfe HIGHLY recommended, and we are FINALLY going to return to the studio, and see how EVERYTHING has been fixed! The Final Three has been decided! Spongebob Squarepants, Marlene Otter, and Yakkity Yak, with help from Sandy, Bubble Bass, and Bulma respectively, are about to put all of their knowledge and skills on the line, in the pen-ultimate episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" And from the studio, Olmec says: "It's going to be legendary!" / Instead of the usual show open, it opens on a recreation of an ancient mid-evil tapestry, and a scene of the remaining characters and their partners on it, as a familiar song from "The Sword In The Stone" plays in the background; the theme song for "The Sword In The Stone". / A Man sings: "A legend is sung of when England was young, and knights were brave and bold. The good king had died, and no one could decide, who was rightful heir to the throne. It seemed that the land would be torn by a war; or saved by a miracle alone. And that miracle appeared in London town, the sword in the stone." / "The Legend Of King Arthur's Lost Sword Of Excalibur!" / The episode opens up on Sniz pulling up to the outside of the studio, were a very FAMILIAR one shot pig repairman from "Rocko's Modern Life" is seen at the entrance. Sniz parks his car at the car parking space marked "For Show Hosts ONLY", and turns off the car and steps out of it! The Pig Repairman says: "Well, it's about TIME you got here; I've had this place ready to go for you for quite a while now!" Sniz breathes deeply, still TRYING to get over his anger over what Sway-Sway did, and Sniz calmly says: "I...needed some TIME to collect my anger over what happened at the studio, but I think that I am now OVER it! I trust that everything has been put back in it's PROPER place?!" The Pig Repairman says: "Better than THAT; I IMPROVED it! You are going to LOVE what I've DONE to the place!" Sniz opens the Studio doors, and he says: "I'll be the judge of..." Sniz looks into the Studio and SCREAMS: "AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The camera pans out to reveal that the pig repairman has turned EVERYTHING except Olmec into a giant BATHROOM!!!! Sniz says: "You...turned my studio into a BATHROOM!!!!" Sniz runs into another room, revealing a bathroom and he says: "My kitchen is a BATHROOM!!!!" Sniz runs into another room, revealing a bathroom and he says: "My hallway is a BATHROOM!!!!" Sniz runs into another room, revealing a bathroom and he says: "My garage is a BATHROOM!!!!" Sniz runs into another room, revealing a bathroom and he says: "My Confessional is a BATHROOM!!!!" Sniz runs into another room revealing a bathroom and he says: "My BALLROOM is a BATHROOM!!!!" Sniz runs into ANOTHER room revealing a bathroom and he says: "Even MY BATHROOM is a BATHROOM!!!!" Than Sniz THINKS about IT, and he says: "Well I, guess THAT'S OKAY!" Sniz runs back to the Pig Repairman, and Sniz says: "There are TOO MANY bathrooms in this studio?!" The Pig Repairman asks: "What are you TALKING about?! You can NEVER have TOO many bathrooms!" Sniz throws a suitcase full of money at him, and screams: "OUT!!!! Out of my studio you SICK psycho! And take the STUPID $35.6 million and 25 cents I had to pay for you! I am giving you a PALTRY two stars for your service!" Wanda poofs in, and she asks: "What's the SECOND star for?" Sniz says: "Well, he TECHNICALLY did do repair work!" And Johnny Krill plays a rim-shot! Wanda raises an eye-brow, and she asks: "THAT joke was WORTHY of a rim-shot?!" Johnny says: "I'm just going off of what the cue cards tell me to do. Besides, I get PAID by the rim shot!" General Barracuda says: "Now THAT'S job security!" Sniz says: "It's about TIME you got back! Please THROW this delinquent repairman OUT of HERE!!!!" The Pig Repairman says: "Don't bother! I'll see MYSELF out!!!! SHEESH!!!! Can't even do anything NICE for anyone anymore!" And The Pig Repairman leaves the building! Wanda says: "What are WE going to do NOW?! We can't POSSIBLY hold the last two challenges of this season with the studio...like THIS!!!!" Sniz groans, and he says: "I know, I KNOW!!!! Where's an EXPLOSIVE Rocket Van when you NEED IT?!!! It looks like it's time for Plan B!" General Barracuda says: "And just WHERE exactly do you plan to FIND a Plan B?!!!" The Studio doors open, and who should walk back in, EXCEPT FONDUE?!!! Fondue says: "The TRUE co-host of this series is BACK in business! FINALLY finished with my community service!" Sniz says: "Oh, look; see, there? It resolved itself! I trust you have a way OUT of this...dilemma?" Johnny says: "Well, if you ask ME; I've always been told that when life gives you LEMONS, you make LEMONADE!!!!" Everyone LOOKS at Johnny, and General Barracuda BLUNTLY says: "We are NOT making a challenge revolving around bathrooms or ANYTHING of that nature! We'll save THAT for a show that's otherwise utterly bankrupt and out of ideas, like how 'Teen Titans Go!' RUINED Cartoon Network!" General Barracuda turns to the camera, and he says: "It's the HARD truth, people; you got to LIVE with it!" Fondue says: "That was NOT my idea! We'll simply have to finish the last two challenges on location! Fortunately for you; I've already thought of TWO challenges that can be finished in the SAME country; Ye Merry Olde England!!!!" Wanda raises an eyebrow again, and she asks: "Is 'Ye' even considered an ACTUAL English word ANYMORE?!" Fondue says: "Who cares?! Everyone UNDERSTOOD what I meant!" Sniz says: "Quite right! General Barracuda, get the other contestants and their helpers that we will be taking a...Wanda, has legal CLEARED us to reference Beatles songs?" Wanda poofs up a contract signed by Sir Paul McCartney and Sir Ringo Starr, and Wanda says: "I've got legal right HERE; YES!!!!" Sniz says: "Than tell the contestants that we'll be going on a 'Magical Mystery Tour'...but with an ACTUAL plot!" General Barracuda says: "Right! I just HOPE everyone is DONE fawning over Sway-Sway in sick bay! He has some NERVE, making ME of all characters SCARED for my LIFE!!!!" / (Confessional that's now a Bathroom) General Barracuda says: "I am SO glad I don't have to use a Confessional like THIS every day! I pride myself on being fearless and respected! Any guy or girl who makes me feel NOT like that, I personally have no use for! I am SO glad that neither he NOR Buhdeuce are in the competition anymore!" (End Confessional) Buhdeuce, the remaining contestants, and their helpers, are in the sick bay, worrying over a heavily bandaged, and still charred Sway-Sway, with the Sick Bay being the ONLY room in the ENTIRE place that wasn't TURNED into a Bathroom! Sandy shakes her head and she says: "I had a feeling; I had a feeling RIGHT from the start that being FRIENDS with a dumb-butt like Sway-Sway would be NO good for YOU, Buhdeuce!" Marlene says: "See? That condescending attitude of yours is precisely why YOU didn't make the final four this time, and Buhdeuce DID!" Bubble Bass rolls his eyes and says: "Even I would've known THAT fact, and that's coming from someone who used to constantly LIVE it!" Spongebob says: "Besides, we SHOULDN'T be putting Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce DOWN!!!! This thing could've happened to ANY of us!" Buhdeuce says: "But none of YOU own Rocket Vans; how COULD this sort of thing happened to any of you?!" Yakkity looks STUMPED, and he says: "That...is an EXCELLENT question, and I'll get right back to you as SOON as I figure one out!" Bulma says: "Statistically speaking, there are several ways this COULD'VE happened...none come to mind at the moment!" Sway-Sway moans in pain, and he opens his eyes and sees Buhdeuce, and Sway-Sway ruefully says: "Oh, YOU'RE still here! Here to rub it in my FACE that you can fly and I CAN'T?!!!" Buhdeuce sputters and he says: "D...DON'T act like that! Do you HONESTLY think that I meant to be insensitive to you on PURPOSE?!!! I mean, I would have NEVER bragged ABOUT being to fly if I had ANY knowledge that YOU couldn't!!!!" Spongebob says: "Trust me, I know honesty when I see it." Bulma scoffs, and she says: "Puh-LEESE!!!! Do you HONESTLY expect ME to believe THAT?! You couldn't TELL if Squidward was being sarcastic to SAVE your life!" Bubble Bass says: "That's ONLY for the SHOW!!!! There's a HUGE difference between what he does on the show, and what he does in real life!" Sandy says: "I never thought I'd say this, but I actually AGREE with Bubble Bass on THAT point!" Marlene says: "Besides, none of US can ACTUALLY fly; but you don't see US acting all jealous towards Buhdeuce about it!" Sway-Sway WINCES at that comment, realizing that they have a point, and Sway-Sway groans, and says: "Oh...what have I DONE?!!! Buhdeuce, I...shouldn't have been jealous with you! The truth of the matter is, all the times we were cruising, doing our usual runs; even when I told myself that I was doing it ALL to impress Jenny Quackles; I'm not sure if I could've done HALF of the things I was able to do, without YOU to help me out! Only a TRUE friend would've done that; I'm sorry for not realizing it sooner!" Bubble Bass says: "I have to admit, the reason why I sometimes acted AGAINST Spongebob, is because I was jealous of his diligent work ethic! And instead of trying to build myself up, I tried to knock him down. I...realize now, that trying to knock someone else down, only brings YOURSELF down more! It never made ME feel any better about myself! It was only when I started applying myself to situations that I was able to turn my life around." Yakkity says: "In all fairness, Buhdeuce; you really SHOULD still be in the competition!" Bulma sputters, and she asks: "W...why would you even SAY that?!" Yakkity says: "Because all of YOU had prior experience to coming on here! I had no RIGHT to get this far; a newcomer in this game, with no strategizing skills and few talents to speak of. I coasted through MOST of this game by relying on your genius, Bulma!" Bulma says: "SEE?! SOMEBODY recognizes my genius!" Bubble Bass says: "So did I, but you don't see ME making a spectacle of myself...unless I need to do it as part of my in-show character!" Bulma asks: "Do you EVER shut that MOUTH off?!" Bubble Bass says: "Look who's TALKING!!!!" Bulma sighs, and she admits: "Fair enough." Buhdeuce says: "Well, I never thought I would've made it as far as fourth place EITHER, especially without Sway-Sway! But you know the reason why I did? Not just blind luck and the right circumstances, but the determination to never give up on trying to achieve my dream! So I've lost my chance to win this season; it's not the end of the world! Did Marlene quit after only getting third place on season two?" Marlene says: "Nope! I auditioned for a chance to win on season 3, than I auditioned AGAIN for a chance to win on season 4B!" Buhdeuce says: "Thank you! And so, Yakkity; this is the perfect chance for YOU to prove to EVERYONE on this show, that you have as much of a right to be here as we did! You've come this far, now is your chance to go all of the way!" Yakkity says: "You're right, Buhdeuce! I'll do it not just for my Grandma, my mom, or my dad WHEREVER he is; I'll do it for you and Sway-Sway!" General Barracuda comes in and he says: "I hate to interrupt this little 'Love-Fest or whatever it is you call it..." Bubble Bass rolls his eyes and he says: "What are you TALKING about? You ALWAYS like to interrupt and ruin things like this!" (Bathroom Confessional) General Barracuda fumes, and says: "OOH, I HATE it when he's right about something and I CAN'T honestly refute it!" / Bubble Bass says: "I knew I had to have inherited SOMETHING from my dad...besides a snarky attitude that could give even the Nostalgia Critic a run for his money!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda says: "Ignoring THAT factually true statement, I've come to announce that hospital visiting time is OVER!!!! Sniz AND Fondue have got a challenge for YOU to do, and we'll be going to jolly old England to do it!" Spongebob asks: "WAIT!!!! You mean, Fondue is BACK?!!!" General Barracuda says: "If it up to me, I wouldn't have given him the time of day! But apparently, Sniz WANTED him back to do important stuff, so who am I to judge?" Marlene says: "Technically speaking, YOU judge a LOT of things!" (Bathroom Confessional) General Barracuda fumes, and he says: "NOW I remember how Marlene made it to the Final Three the FIRST time; a sharp mouth, and a SOMEHOW even sharper wit! It's no wonder Skipper loves HER so; just about the ONLY thing he's ever done RIGHT in his life!" / Spongebob groans in frustration, and he says: "Oh, MAN!!!! If Sniz wants Fondue back, that means the next two challenges are going to be HARD ones, designed to get ME out and LOSE!!!! It would've been one thing to have LOST to Tigress, which everyone was expecting ME to do, but to lose to Marlene and ESPECIALLY Yakkity; I don't see how there could be a MORE lopsided disadvantage for me than THIS!" / Marlene says: "What can I say? I know what my strengths are, and I know how to utilize them! My strategy this time? Wait until everyone else is finished fighting amongst themselves, and see who is left! Against Spongebob and Yakkity, I don't see how there could be a MORE lopsided advantage for me than THIS!" / Yakkity says: "I'm not going to pretend that I don't know where I stand in this whole situation! Marlene, and even SPONGEBOB; have done so much work to get to this point! My biggest selling point was that I was smart enough to work with Bulma for as long as it was convenient and useful to me! But now; it's all up to me...somehow. I really don't SEE any advantage or disadvantage to this situation. Honestly? It COULD go either way!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda slow-claps and he sarcastically says: "Wow. Two for two AGAINST me; usually you have to pay EXTRA for that! Anyways, contestants and helpers are to come with me! We're going on a Magical Mystery Tour to England!" Buhdeuce asks: "Can Sway-Sway and I come along, to?" General Barracuda incredulously asks: "COME ALONG?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're LUCKY that Sniz was even willing to HEAL Sway-Sway for damaging the studio, even if he LEGALLY had to provide it!" Yakkity says: "But Buhdeuce is one of the biggest reasons that I've GOTTEN this far! I don't think that I WOULD be here without him! If THEY don't get to go, I WON'T go; than you'd have to EXPLAIN to Sniz and Fondue why they are SHORT one contestant at the Final Three!" (Bathroom Confessional) General Barracuda fumes AGAIN, and he says: "OOH, I HATE it when a contestant does THAT!!!!" / Buhdeuce air fist-pumps, and he says: "YES!!!! Yakkity HAS it! He has initiative! I KNEW that it would show up eventually! He just MIGHT be able to pull out a win after all!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda groans in frustration, and he says: "Okay, FINE!!!! Bring whoever, and come to the bus! Please note that the studio of Nickelodeon and it's employers do not assume any responsibility for personal injury or loss of luggage!" Yakkity and Bubble Bass get Sway-Sway on a hospital wheel-chair, but Yakkity WINCES at the sight of Sway-Sway without feathers. Yakkity goes to the closet, and pulls out his dad's old fur coat, and Yakkity says: "I'm sorry, but that look will NEVER do! Here, take my father's old fur coat! It's not feathers, but it will at LEAST keep you covered until your feathers grow back!" Sway-Sway genuinely says: "Wow, THANK you! What did I ever do to deserve such good friends? And after I acted like such a DUMB-BUTT to?" Buhdeuce says: "We ALL make mistakes from time to time, but we DON'T have to let our mistakes define us; we can learn and grow from them!" Bulma says: "Except for ME, because I don't MAKE any mistakes, so I have to LEARN from the mistakes of others!" Bubble Bass says: "And leave it to Bulma to ruin what could have OTHERWISE, been a tender, perfect moment!" (Bathroom Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "I'm so glad I'm not the one hosting this show; balancing the comedy with tenderness, is a LOT harder than it looks!" / Sandy says: "I'll just be glad when this show is done, so Spongebob and I can focus on more IMPORTANT things, like my upcoming spin-off movie!" (End Confessional) Everyone runs out to outside the studio, where everyone is SURPRISED to see the ACTUAL bus from the TV movie of "The Magical Mystery Tour", and Sniz is dressed up like a tour guide! Marlene says: "Wow! You really didn't skimp on the budget! I hope it drives as COOL as it looks!" Sniz says: "I had Wanda detail it myself! I will NEVER trust Heffer with making a decision regarding repair jobs or anything ELSE again!" Wanda says: "And quite frankly, I don't BLAME you!" Fondue says: "And I just KNOW Sniz has something VERY important for me to do!" Sniz says: "As a matter of fact, I do! Fondue, I want YOU...to take apart all this bathroom NONSENSE and return the studio to the way it originally looked!" Fondue looks aghast and he says: "But...a job THAT big would take up the rest of this SEASON; I'd miss out on the last two challenges!" Sniz says: "Well, don't look at ME!!!! I'd DO the job myself, but my hosting duties come first; and there's not enough money in the budget to accommodate YOU; and even if there WAS, there's not enough room in the bus!" Fondue says: "You mean I gave you the idea for the LAST two challenges, just to be STUCK with Olmec doing repair duty?!" Sniz says: "On the contrary, Olmec is GOING to be coming with us!" Sandy says: "Not to question YOUR logic, but HOW is a giant Mayan/Aztec/Inca stone head going to fit in the bus?" General Barracuda says: "Everybody, what's our go-to answer?!" Everyone BESIDES Sandy says: "Fairy Godparents who we can have wish for and grant any wish that we need!" (Bathroom Confessional) Sandy says: "Man, it's kind of LOUSY how we can have such a simple solution for what would OTHERWISE be an impossible PLOT problem to figure out!" (End Confessional) Fondue says: "WAIT!!!! Why don't we just have the Fairy Godparents wish the studio back to normal?!" Sniz says: "Fondue, these are WISHES; not miracles!" (Bathroom Confessional) Fondue groans, and says: "This is why the fandom CAN'T have nice things!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "In any case, we're NOT going to fit Olmec INSIDE of the Bus, Olmec is going to BECOME the Bus! Wanda?!" Wanda says: "I've always WANTED to do THIS spell!" And Wanda waves her wand, and Olmec's face magically becomes the front of the bus! Olmec says: "Come on, everybody; climb on for the Magical Mystery Tour! We're going to England, where we will do a challenge of, The Legend Of King Arthur's Lost Sword Of Excalibur!" Sniz says: "And lucky for ALL of you, there won't BE any Moat Challenge today; we'll be traveling over plenty of water over the Atlantic Ocean as it is! Everybody, climb on in!" (Bathroom Confessional) Spongebob breathes a sigh of relief, and he says: "PHEW!!!! Fondue won't be coming for the last two challenges after all. I might be able to win this game after all! Please, don't let Tigress SEE this thing!" / Marlene says: "Fondue not coming for the last two challenges? Eh, tragic. However, I still have ONE advantage! Spongebob and Yakkity know NOTHING about how to handle a challenge that revolves around the final three; I'm the only one who DOES! I may not know what Spongebob and Yakkity can bring to this game, but I am NOT going to be caught off guard like I was the LAST time! I intend on giving it everything I've GOT this time!" / Yakkity says: "Fondue not coming doesn't change anything for ME in the slightest; the game could STILL go either way!" (End Confessional) Marlene says: "Right front window seat, called it!" Bubble Bass says: "Have that seat if you must; just remember, I'm your partner until the end of this thing!" Bulma says: "I don't think any of US will be forgetting that any time soon!" Buhdeuce shouts from outside of the bus, and he says: "Uh; would you PLEASE lower down the ramp for us so I can roll Sway-Sway INSIDE this thing?!" General Barracuda and Sniz just STARE at them with VERY dirty looks! Sway-Sway says: "They're...still mad that I...kind of...accidentally blew up the studio aren't they?!" Buhdeuce says: "And even AFTER I paid Sniz that money to FIX it! It's not MY fault the guy he hired turned out to be a total hack!" Spongebob says: "Ramp?! You don't need Sniz to roll down a ramp!" Spongebob morphs into a ramp, and he says: "You can roll up ME!!!!" (Bathroom Confessional) General Barracuda snaps his fingers, and he says: "Oh, MAN!!!! I forgot Spongebob could change forms like that!" Sniz pokes his head in, and he says: "YOU forgot one of the ONLY things that makes Spongebob a LEGITIMATE force to be reckoned with in this Final Three?!" General Barracuda says: "He has about 300 episodes in his main show alone! I can't keep TRACK of everything he's done!" / Bubble Bass says: "He should've asked me! I could've kept track FOR him! I do that out of necessity!" (End Confessional) Buhdeuce rolls Sway-Sway up Spongebob, and Spongebob says: "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" Buhduece finishes rolling Sway-Sway into Spongebob and Buhdeuce and Sway-Sway simultaneously say: "Sorry, Spongebob!" And Buhdeuce says: "Jinx! You owe me a soda!" Sway-Sway says: "Oh, man!" (Bathroom Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "We're starting to speak simultaneously together again! We're making progress!" (End Confessional) Spongebob changes back to normal, and everyone finishes picking a seat, including Johnny Krill who rushes to join them! Fondue asks: "You're taking Johnny KRILL to join you instead of me?!" Sniz says: "Eh, he still has the rest of this season in his contract. I'm not one to break it and have to pay fines for having done so!" Johnny says: "Yes! I STILL have plot relevance!" General Barracuda says: "Which is about the only thing you HAVE got!" Johnny says: "Irrelevant!" Sniz says: "All right, everyone buckled up?!" Everyone does so, and Sway-Sway's wheel-chair gets strapped into place. And Spongebob asks: "Sandy, do you have any idea what's about to happen?" Sandy says: "Not really, but knowing Sniz; it's probably going to be interesting!" Sniz says: "All right, everybody; I'm really going to push the throttle this time, and see what this thing can do!" / And to everyone's surprise, the bus suddenly lifts up INTO the air, and launches straight forward over the Atlantic Ocean! Psychedelic color and imagery fill the inside of the bus, all while The Beatles' song, "Magical Mystery Tour" plays in the background! / The Beatles sing: "(Roll up! Roll up for the magical mystery tour! Step right this way!) Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour! Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour! Roll up (And that's an invitation), roll up for the mystery tour! Roll up (To make a reservation), roll up for the mystery tour! The magical mystery tour is waiting to take you away! Waiting to take you away! Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour! Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour! Roll up (We've got everything you need), roll up for the mystery tour! Roll up (Satisfaction guaranteed), roll up for the mystery tour! The magical mystery tour is hoping to take you away! Hoping to take you away! Mystery trip! Aaaah... the magical mystery tour! Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour! Roll up (And that's an invitation), roll up for the mystery tour! Roll up (To make a reservation), roll up for the mystery tour! The magical mystery tour is coming to take you away! Coming to take you away! The magical mystery tour is dying to take you away! Dying to take you away, take you today!" / And as the song ends, Olmec says: "We will soon be landing at our destination in England, please remain seated until the bus comes to a complete stop. We will take a quick break, and be back to perform our challenge, on 'Total Cartoon Legends'!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

The writers who work on "Spongebob Squarepants" seem to be getting more daring in their referencing of classic movies. Not only do they (kind of) reference "The Godfather", they also reference the ending of the movie "Dr. Strangelove"! While this is a restaurant rivalry episode, it's between TWO restaurants that have never BEEN in a rivalry before; the Krusty Krab and the Goofy Goober. When Spongebob accidentally concocts a new food item (a Krabby Patty mixed with ice cream), the Krabby Whips are a taste everyone seems to love! So, Mr. Krabs immediately starts to capitalize on it! Unfortunately, it seems like Bikini Bottom has NEVER heard about monopolies being illegal, as the previously unseen owner of the Goofy Goober, the Goobfather, has his two muscled goons walk right into Mr. Krabs' restaurant and BREAKS Mr. Krabs' ice cream making machine! Of course, Mr. Krabs doesn't take this well, so he rebuilds the machine bigger and better, and hires two security men (Old Man Jenkins and Old Man Walker) to protect his investment! But when the Goobfather and his goons return to the Krusty Krab, the efforts of the elderly men to protect the ice cream making machine...goes about as well as you'd expect, and the Machine gets wrecked again! Mr. Krabs decides that the time has come to fight sabotage with sabotage! After mugging one of the Goobfather's goons for a disguise, Spongebob decides to distract the Goobfather with a tap-dancing routine with ice cream scoops, while Mr. Krabs MESSES with the Goofy Goober's thermostat! While the sabotage is successful, the Goobfather is NOT going to take this attack sitting down! As it turns out, the Goofy Goober's paddle-boat wheel ISN'T just for show; it can actually move THROUGH water on land, and it prepares to attack the Krusty Krab! Fortunately, Mr. Krabs has PREPARED for this attack, by modifying the Krusty Krab to be an attack vehicle as well! The two restaurants engage in a war of ice cream fighting with ice cream weaponry! When who of ALL characters should show up to stop the fighting but the Ice Cream King?! The Ice Cream King tells Mr. Krabs and the Goobfather that ice cream isn't MEANT for fighting, it was meant for EATING! So the Ice Cream King tells the two of them to stop the fighting, or he will drop an ice cream bomb! Mr. Krabs and the Goobfather immediately say they'll stop fighting, but in a surprisingly realistic outcome, the Ice Cream King CAN'T hear the two of them in his flying boat, so he ends up dropping the ice cream bomb anyways! The end result? Both the Goofy Goober and the Krusty Krab are wrecked, and their plans for making any money off of ice cream are derailed as now EVERYONE in Bikini Bottom has free ice cream for life (or at least a week depending on how long the supply of the ice cream holds out! I'd give this episode a 9.5 out of 10! (It lost a few points due to having Squidward chained up the the clam shell of the Krusty Krab, AND never being released from being chained) Enough said, true believers!

I am SHOCKED that this episode actually got AWAY with referencing the ending of the 1950's movie, "Sunset Boulevard"! By this point, I think it would be a lot BETTER if Mr. Lawrence and the other writers of this series, started looking for someone OTHER than Squidward to be put into situations that involve him getting into pain and other humiliating experiences! While this episode at LEAST gives a justifiable excuse for the situation Squidward is in (Spongebob builds a pool, Squidward is secretly jealous of it, but doesn't WANT to admit that Spongebob's pool looks good), this sort of plot has already BEEN done before in "The Paper" and "The Idiot Box"! Not only that, but they drag out Squidward trying to deny wanting to go into Spongebob's pool for too long, before he finally does it! When Squidward finally DOES get into Spongebob's pool, what happens is that Squidward falls asleep and has a dream, featuring SOME of the octopi who haven't been seen since "Squidville". Unfortunately, Squidward falls asleep for SO long, he doesn't wake up until morning! Not wanting to be caught by Spongebob, Squidward runs inside the toy shed, which is unfortunately the FIRST place Spongebob and Patrick go to. Squidward tries to pull a variation of the "Nobody Here But Us Statues" writing technique, which backfires when Patrick decides that Squidward would be a PERFECT floating toy to play with! Needless to say, Squidward has to SUFFER Patrick blowing into his MOUTH, and being played with in the ROUGHEST of matters possible! Finally, Squidward has HAD enough and SCREAMS to let the air out, and FINALLY admits to Spongebob that Squidward was jealous of his pool. I'd feel a lot more SYMPATHY for Squidward, but he "Could've Avoided This Plot" if he had just been HONEST with Spongebob from the beginning! You would think that after being allowed to use Spongebob's pool anytime he wanted, Squidward would get to enjoy himself. But no; Patrick accidentally cranks the diving board SO high, Squidward is actually OUTSIDE of Earth's atmosphere! And when Patrick tries to crank the diving board back down, the crank BREAKS: causing an overly long scream as Squidward falls down, gets burned by re-entering Earth's atmosphere, falls smack down into Spongebob's pool, resulting in him floating like the ending scene from "Sunset Boulevard". And than, Squidward's body breaks into pieces, due to hitting the water so hard. I'd give this episode a 6.5 out of 10 at BEST! Enough said, true believers!

It's one thing to HAVE an interesting episode title that SOUNDS like it will have an interesting premise, it's another thing entirely to follow through on an interesting episode title! Spongebob thinks that Gary having his own little house to play in while Spongebob has to work and what not, would be a good idea. The problem is, Spongebob didn't put anything INTERESTING inside of Gary's little house! To rectify this problem, Gary decides to (somehow) modify his playhouse itself, by making it a scaled-down version of Spongebob's house, and wearing a little yellow box instead of his shell, to be like Spongebob! Spot even morphs himself into looking like Gary to complete the reference! If that wasn't enough, Gary gets a new slug friend that looks like Patrick, and an angry sea urchin neighbor that looks like Squidward! Instead of running wild with this premise, all Kaz thinks that you have to do to sell this episode, is to make the main characters be astounded by their "Cuteness Proximity". It might be a LITTLE funny for it to happen once the FIRST time, but to make it the main running gag throughout the entire episode (and the characters CAUSING the "Cuteness Proximity" to not having an ulterior motive for it), does NOT make for a really captivating episode! Thankfully, for some reason, a sea bunny, acting like Mr. Krabs, wants Gary to cook food for some hungry nematoads (who for the first time in the history of this series, AREN'T interested in devouring a pineapple!) It initially looks like everyone is going to get to see Gary do his OWN version of the very first episode of "Spongebob Squarepants", but instead; Gary quits! It turns out Gary likes to PRETEND to be like Spongebob, but only as long as its fun. Anything involving work is OUT!!!! So, Gary goes back to living inside Spongebob's house, but he at least gets two new companions in the form of the Patrick slug, and the Squidward urchin. While there was nothing really wrong with this episode, there wasn't anything really great about it, either. I'd give it an 8.1 out of 10 at best. Enough said, true believers!

"Danny Devito's Playhouse" ("Gary's Playhouse")

In movie theaters, I saw "Oppenheimer", and on TV, I saw the 2019 film version of "Cats", both out of some form of morbid curiosity.

Probably Thrifty's Mint N' Chip ice cream available at my local Rite Aid store; it's my go to for an ice cream treat!

As is the case with many other animated shows, it is often interesting to wonder about what kinds of shows they have within the UNIVERSE of that show! In the case of "The Patrick Star Show", Patrick HIMSELF gets the opportunity to HOST various types of shows (all game shows, but STILL shows), that could exist within the universe of "The Patrick Star Show"! As it turns out, the types of game shows that could exist within the universe of "The Patrick Star Show", make MOST of the activities within the "Total Drama" franchise look downright SANE by comparison! Bunny and Cecil are FORCED to eat expired foods, and try to guess WHAT they are and WHEN they expired; GrandPat has to search for hidden bombs hidden WITHIN his wrinkled skin folds (and we find out that he has an older brother, hope they expand more upon THAT in future episodes!) And Squidina is FORCED to try to change the fabric of time in the past, in order to change the appearance of a teacup in the present! All Squidina ends up doing, is BRIEFLY changing everything EXCEPT the teacup to look like an abstract Picasso painting, and THEN somehow accidentally fusing Patrick and Sandy together! By this time, the Star Family has had ENOUGH of being put through Patrick Star's dangerous shows, and decide to give him a taste of his OWN medicine, by doing a game show of their OWN! Needless to say, Patrick finds out the HARD way, that putting ANYONE (let alone his own family) in danger is NOT a great way to get ratings if HE has to take the same damage he dished out! But than, as it turns out, Squidina DID manage to change the teacup, it just took a LOT of time for the change to take effect, as the teacup MORPHS into a dinosaur! The Star Family has to put aside their differences in order to fight it, with a MEGAZORD type machine (with GrandPat forming the BUTT of it, making HIM the BUTT of the joke!) But before they can do battle, it becomes time for BREAK time for COFFEE, with coffee from within the Coffee Pot of the Star House! And by the time they're done with that, they run out of time for anything else, leading it to time for a show called "The End!" I'd give this episode a 9.5 out of 10, mostly because I really would've LIKED to see how the Megazord and Teacup Dinosaur battle would've played out. Enough said, true believers!

Awesome!!!! Squidward and Jimmy Neutron are going to be playable in this one! I wonder what other surprise brawlers will appear? I can't wait to find out! Enough said, true believers!

It's practically no secret that making fun of shows (especially your OWN show) selling merchandise in order to fund the show, is often a risky endeavor. But thankfully, this episode pulls off the concept really well! While the first idea is realistic enough, selling action figures like Pat The Hapless and Beezelbass (Bubble Bass' magic ancestor), only with the realistic aspects of their powers and abilities cranked WAY up, the ideas only get CRAZIER and more dangerous from there! Needless to say, it was only a matter of time before a Safety Inspector (a brand new character named Bobby Bobbington) eventually decides to confiscate all of the dangerous items! Needing to quickly improvise, Patrick and Squidina segue to ANOTHER commercial, which shows an ACTION figure of Bobby Bobbington himself! Even though it has a potentially dangerous staple gun in it, Bobby is so TOUCHED by the move, he decides to let the Star family sell WHATEVER merchandise they want, and gives back the stuff he attempted to confiscate! Unfortunately, the Star family DOESN'T get to keep their money for long, and not just because of Patrick's stupidity! As it turns out, Patrick's stupidity was SCRIPTED...by a future Rube 800 years into the FUTURE, who was angry at Patrick endangering his tiny city from the future (seen in "The Incredible Shrinking Stars"), by having somehow shrunk the Star family AGAIN, and shaking them within a snow globe, all for the purpose of his OWN commercial! "Beware The Nice Ones", indeed! I'd have to give this episode a 9.5 out of 10! Enough said, true believers!

After the episode segment that was "Bubble Bass Reviews", practically ANY episode segment that came out after it was going to find that episode segment a "Tough Act To Follow"; let alone one that revolves mostly around a PRISON! Granted, I am glad that they showed off where Bunny works (even if I'm not sure if she's exactly the MOST qualified to be working there, although it's HARDLY the oddest decision ever made regarding characters in the "Spongebob Squarepants" franchise). In any case, when Patrick needs to go use the restroom, he mistakes one of the MANY open room prison cells as being an open room restroom, and thinks that one of the prisoner's there is part of a club that has their own bathroom uniforms. The prisoner there takes ADVANTAGE of Patrick's stupidity, by switching outfits with him, and attempts to break free, ONLY for Bunny to take the prisoner home by MISTAKE! Although the prospect of BEING in prison seems terrifying to Patrick at first, he's able to EASILY impress the inmates (including the two crooks from "The Getaway" making a return, cameo appearance), by eating 100 plates of prison slop, PLATE included! The prisoner, however, finds life at the Star house MUCH tougher, as he's forced to eat TRASH that Patrick wouldn't give a second THOUGHT about eating (lest Cecil suspect that HE isn't Patrick), while Squidina out-right KNOWS that while the Prisoner isn't Patrick; decides she HAS to use him anyways in order to do a painful stunt in a scene! The prisoner tries to get away, only to be faced with the prospect of having to cure GrandPat's bunions, and being sent through a PAINFUL trip through the time machine, before deciding that while prison may be MISERABLE, it's a LOT safer than being part of the Star household! Thankfully, Patrick is unwittingly being used by prisoners to escape by EATING through the floor and dirt, where the prisoner switches places BACK with Patrick! Unfortunately for the Prisoner, his peace WON'T last long, because Patrick liked HIS stay at prison SO much, he offers for the rest of the Star family to LIVE there, which Bunny agrees to, as it makes HER commute to work a LOT easier! Needless to say, the prisoner is so HORRIFIED by this prospect, he LITERALLY breaks apart in half! I'd give this episode an 8.5 out of 10. Enough said, true believers!

"FUN-Believeable" is now called "Rube Tours".

Currently playing (for the first time) "The Revenge Of Shinobi" for the Sega Genesis by the Nintendo Switch's Sega Genesis Virtual Console Service!

So far, I think this episode is probably the biggest acknowledgement by the actual writers of this show, that THEY know that if Stephen Hillenburg were still alive, there wouldn't BE any spin-offs such as "The Patrick Star Show" on the air, and that by all rights, their show shouldn't EVEN exist, and saying that they don't CARE about that fact, and have their OWN things to say about the "Spongebob Squarepants" franchise! And they're using the experimental nature of "The Patrick Star Show" in order to do it! This show pokes obvious fun at The Nostalgia Critic, who takes trivial goofs and errors that could conceivably be found WITHIN the universe of "The Patrick Star Show", and tears apart each error like it's the writing technique of "Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking"! Of course, as we see from Bubble Bass'...editing job, it's not like HE'S an expert at making HIMSELF look presentable. Either he's TOO lazy, too apathetic, or a combination of the two to do a better job! Of course, as this episode shows; if you REALLY want to make your own web-based series critiquing and complaining about shows you only watch to 'Hate-watch' (how THAT ever became a thing, I'll never know); than you have the right to do so. But when you do, DON'T be surprised if the people you COMPLAIN about feel insulted about your words, and come to YOUR house wanting to TALK to you! Interestingly enough, Patrick and Squidina actually THOUGHT that Bubble Bass' words of criticism, were ACTUALLY constructive towards improving THEIR own work, and they decide to REVIEW Bubble Bass' REVIEW show! (Talk about being "Shaped Like Itself"!) And they show off Bubble Bass being neglectful about food stains on himself, throwing tantrums (that they could only show a PORTION of), and SWEATING whenever he gets over-excited! As it turns out, Bubble Bass can DISH it out, but taking it is ANOTHER matter entirely! Although Bubble Bass' Mother IS thankful that Patrick and Squidina were able to get Bubble Bass out of the house, doing some ACTUAL physical activity! I personally can't find anything wrong with this episode, I'd give it 11/10! (It's THAT good!) Enough said, true believers!

Apparently, as of this episode, Spongebob is now calling HIS Spatula "Spatty" instead of "Spat", and "Spatty" is now EXPLICITLY referred to as "A girl". In any case, when Spongebob's spatula accidentally breaks, instead of trying to buy a new one, or use an OLD greasy Spatula, Spongebob INSISTS on getting his spatula reforged by Guru Greasetrap! Now, I've joked about "George Jetson Job Security" before, but this is the FIRST episode that actually refers to it! Mr. Krabs tells Spongebob that if he DOESN'T get back soon, Mr. Krabs will give a random (off-model) SpongeTOB, Spongebob's job! So Spongebob makes a quick venture to the Misty Mountains (a reference to "The Hobbit"), where who should he meet except Rube Goldfish (who proves he has MORE than just one outfit), as Rube Goldfish helps Spongebob cross a VERY narrow fish made bridge...before taking a CONVENIENT elevator to go back DOWN the mountain, since his shift was over! Spongebob proceeds to climb up the rest of the (VERY) tall mountain; as in, he LITERALLY grew a five O'clock shadow while GROWING it! Guru Greasetrap tries to tell Spongebob that his TRUE spatula is inside him! But...since Spongebob has NEVER really been good at understanding metaphors, Guru Greasetrap instead decides to reforge Spongebob's broken spatula himself. Too bad Spongebob accidentally BREAKS Guru's fish hands with a VERY heavy anvil (as if to invoke a "Drama Preserving Handicap"), so now Guru has to teach Spongebob to repair his spatula himself! Despite an interesting training montage, all Spongebob REALLY ends up accomplishing is accidentally causing more harm to Guru! Eventually, Guru decides to eventually cut out the training nonsense, and (even though Spongebob isn't TRULY ready) let Spongebob re-forge his spatula! Surprisingly, Spongebob's spatula SEEMS to turn out well enough; and to help Spongebob get back to the Krusty Krab BEFORE it's "Too Late", by kicking Spongebob DOWN the mountain, where Spongebob rolls up a giant snowball, and manages to roll back to the Krusty Krab just in the nick of time! Unfortunately, Spongebob's haphazard effort at reforging his spatula, causes Spongebob's spatula to almost INSTANTLY shatter again. Thankfully, Spongebob REMEMBERS Guru's statement that his "True Spatula is inside him", so Spongebob transforms his hands INTO spatulas, and although it's a little painful, he manages to cook the Krabby Patties, and restores everything (except one poor skeleton) back to normal health. At that moment, Guru Greasetrap walks into the Krusty Krab for a meal, and when Spongebob tells him that the reason HIS hands are now hurt is because he followed Guru's advice on how his "True Spatula is inside him", it turns out that the statement WASN'T a metaphor after all; there really WAS an actual spatula inside of Spongebob! I guess I'd give this episode an 8.5 out of 10, only because I feel that there were some things that COULD'VE been done a little better, had this episode had a longer running time to do it. Enough said, true believers!

"That Excited Spongekid And The Beanstalk" ("Plankton And The Beanstalk").

You know what's interesting? I think "Kamp Koral" is one of the few shows where the CGI actually got BETTER the more the show went along, as opposed to just staying the same the whole way through! Anyways, my favorite episode so far, is the one where Craig Mammalton got a day in the limelight. Enough said, true believers!

It NEVER ceases to amaze me, just how UTTERLY clueless the writers can sometimes be when it comes time to craft episodes around newer characters (and even long-time main characters can sometimes get hit with this as well!) In any case, I think the beginning and ending of this episode was Nickelodeon trying to explain WHY Squidward didn't get HIS own spin-off show; all he DID was to COMPLAIN about everyone who got on his nerves (Bubble Bass, Spongebob, Rube, and 44 OTHERS he didn't get the time to mention!) In any case, Mr. Lawrence has an AMAZING opportunity to showcase the eccentricity of Rube Goldfish, and instead, he WASTES it by having Rube observe Sandy Cheeks break the world record for holding acorns in her mouth (and could the writers PLEASE stop TRYING to make characters get devoured by OTHER characters a THING?! It's never going to BE a thing, let alone a GOOD thing!) Next, Rube observes Nosferatu bat Slappy's head around in a "Chain Pain Reaction" device, which while KIND of interesting, felt like just a WASTE of time for something that would've been a lot MORE interesting! Finally, Rube visits Mary, and the CREEPY old fish, who is FINALLY given a name, of Baby Prunes. (I'm probably one of the FEW people who know that it's probably a reference to "Baby Jane", the title character played by Bette Davis in the 1962 movie "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane"? In any case, Baby Prunes CLAIMS to be the oldest citizen of Bikini Bottom at 115 years old, and that she was really WILD 70 years ago. To prove it, she PILOTS a helicopter around town, making even RUBE nervous for his life! But when Perch Perkins' grandmother claims to be 116 years old, the two old ladies decide to get into a chopper fight, causing Perch to abandon his helicopter! The two helicopters SMASH into each other, but thankfully land safely onto a roller coaster, that takes them to the ground. And as if "Skewed Priorities" weren't enough, Perch Perkins' grandmother WINS the argument, by dying and evaporating into dust. R.I.P. Perch Perkins' Grandmother. At least Spongebob and Patrick got a chance to shine, by contorting their bodies to spell the word "Fun-believeable!" While I wouldn't agree with Squidward that it was "Horrible!"; it was MISGUIDED at best! I'd give it a 6.5 out of 10. Enough said, true believers!

I NEVER thought I would ever see something as weird as the "Spongebob Squarepants" writers, not only re-doing an episode idea they already TRIED once and failing at it, but actually pulling it off a LOT better! Unlike "To Love A Patty", the premise is that Sandy brings a Krabby Patty to sentient life using her technology! Naturally, Spongebob wants to have fun with it; but what Spongebob doesn't realize (at first) is that the sentient Krabby Patty's only desire is to be eaten. (Kind of like the old saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you CAN'T make it drink any".) I thought the funniest part of the episode was when Spongebob thought the Goofy Goober mascot was EATING the sentient Krabby Patty on PURPOSE; so Spongebob takes the sentient Krabby Patty OUT of the Goofy Goober, claiming he WILL never visit a restaurant that tries to eat his friends EVER again, only to INSTANTLY pop back in saying that he will be BACK tomorrow, as if NOTHING happened! Anyways, as soon as Spongebob finds out that the sentient Krabby Patty really DOES want to be eaten, Spongebob at LEAST tries to find who is the best fit for him. However, the candidates who apply (like Slappy, Old Man Walker, Bubble Bass, and Nosferatu) ALL have problems with their mouths! Thankfully, Sandy points out that Spongebob HIMSELF would be a good candidate! Unfortunately, Bubble Bass and a bunch of the OTHER failed candidates WON'T let Spongebob eat the sentient Krabby Patty without a fight! And while a "Big Ball of Violence" is erupting, who should end up EATING the sentient Krabby Patty except GARY?! However, the candidates aren't PLEASED that Sandy was the one who CAUSED them to turn on each other in the first place, and Sandy REALIZES that there are SOME things that SHOULDN'T be brought to life, so she brings to life a barrel, and she rides her way out of the Krusty Krab! I guess I'd give this episode an 8.5 out of 10. Enough said, true believers!