Jump to content
  • Advertisement

Oh Yeah! Collections

Steel Sponge

Recommended Posts

It's back again. By that I mean I have another segment of SpongeBob SquarePants: Lost In Translation to share. For this newest edition, I ask this question: can a bad episode of SpongeBob turn out better when translated by Google multiple times? I'll be honest when I say that the result isn't too good, but whether this is good or not, you guys can be the judge of that. The first language I used for GT was German, just for kicks. Every other language that was chosen was random. The setup was like this: English-German-Italian-Macedonian-Bosnian-Latin-Albanian-Somali-Catalan-Turkish-Uzbek.

So what episode is getting this treatment? You guessed it: Ink Lemonade. Just to add a few things to this annotation, this [.../] means that there is a long break in-between dialogue (see the transcript on the SB wiki to see what exactly happens.), a scene change, or the next piece of dialogue is coming from a character who had already said something before. When something is in all caps, that's where the dumb megaphone gag takes place.


12D. SpongeBob SquarePants: Lost In Translation Part IV: Ink Lemonade 


lemon color



Patrick: Lemonade citrus?

Calamardo: If

…/ Lluc, what are you doing? Stone like stone should be stored. ... Do you have a license to sell only?


Calamardo: Thank you for hating me and me. I do not see any bookmarks in Lemonade.

Patrick: Need some lemon juice?

Calamardo: I can not say that I can not. Unfortunately, there are some frauds.

Patrick: .../ But still.

Calamardo: If

Patrick: .../ LEMONADE

stone: .../ Ax! Thank you for your friend. He put it

Patrick: Ax!

stone: Ax!

Patrick: Sorry, not included.

stone: I'm sick! "Where can I go?

Patrick: The usual.

Calamardo: .../ Hello there?

Patrick: More brave and never.

Calamardo: Do you need something?

…/ What is hmm

Patrick: Fire from the army can be used.


Patrick: .../ Can I help you?

Cool Sea: Good luck!

…/ Sweet!

He disappeared: Congratulations You and your family do not sell?



He disappeared: .../ LEMON BLACK SPECIAL LOGICAL EXPERIENCE! We'll get something else.

Patrick: Ax! SpongeBob, although likely to be closed.

Cool Sea: But expensive.


Calamardo: What do you want?

Patrick: Congratulations Likewise, I can not paint, so it is difficult to meet the needs.

Calamardo: I do!

Patrick: Ax!

…/ Just be afraid!

Calamardo: Then he said:

Percussion weight: Loan mortgages?

Patrick: .../ Thank you so much!


Cool Sea: Oh, I think it's better to be a black boyfriend or friend.

Patrick: Ax! Also. Uh, another

…/ Kitty kitty lorik Oh gate O boy?


Calamardo: Ax! Hmm

…/ I do not want to say that!

Patrick: Haya!

…/ Boon

…/ Thank you so much!

Calamardo: Welcome! No!


Patrick: Oh Oh, what are you doing?


Calamardo: Did you stay here? Is there a man? Who is it?

…/ If

…/ Can not I say bad?

Patrick: Know the Boo Cover ...

Calamardo: .../ Children's fears are not bad!

Patrick: .../ Yeah yeah!

…/ Thanks, love!


Calamardo: Is it pain? How can I go here? I do not think I want to go. The leaves are 60 years in the future.

…/ I can see it! I'm afraid I will not do that.

Doll Taddeo: Can I help young people?


Cool Sea: Thaddus should be original if you want to buy black leather.

Patrick: We will see the rest of the Return Department.

Calamardo: What is the lemon black? Do I sell cold?

Children and Patriarchs: IF YES!

I entered the intestinal tract: Tracking makes friends. However, we ask this question not all day long.

fish: So we can not do that!

Calamardo: Are you drinking for people?

…/ Ax! Ax! Ax! In fact, I can tell you that you need to buy direct lemon resources, even if it is not plum.

I entered the intestinal tract: We like Spring Spring!

Cool Sea: .../ Hello there!

I entered the intestinal tract: What is a black weapon?

Calamardo: If Ax! Do not bother me. I do this: I do something else. I just need to do better.

Dave: Tell me, boy, okay?

Calamardo: I am similar!

Dave: Make the black mattress!

Calamardo: Um, who will follow me?

I entered the intestinal tract: Oh, that's good for you, Jack!

Calamardo: .../ dark

stone: Is there a black hole?

Calamardo: .../ I do not understand. I thought I wanted to

Cool Sea: Hi, sir! You'll agree because I know what's missing. Find new things.

Patrick: Likewise, the light, the identifier and the knee are given.

Children and Patriarchs: image.png.92cb2ec0ce1ac359f79a87aa648b5325.png

Calamardo: It's not just about cooking yourself, your home cooking, biscuits, and fun things. Thank you so much. Hey, these cookies are so sweet! What?

Patrick: Spider Egg

SpongeBob: Yes, we have a new pair. Mildred and Tadeus


Edited by Steel Sponge
  • Happy 1
  • God Himself 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

13. Shaggy & Scooby-Doo Get the Keys!

This was originally part of a joke post in an Industrial Park thread for when I took the Ukrainian lyrics for the theme song to Shaggy & Scooby-Doo Get a Clue and translated them back to English. Since the very title became a small recurring joke on SBC (at least as far as I should be concerned), it was a matter of time before I could take an entire episode of that series and put it through a series of translations on Google Translate. However, the result ended up being quite a challenge because no transcripts for Shaggy & Scooby-Doo Get a Clue exist, so I had to watch one episode and write the script by myself and by ear. I managed to accomplish this task as I didn't leave any piece of dialogue from one particular episode unwritten.

It's not a completely accurate script, but it goes to show the work that I've done for this. I didn't write any stage directions/actions, but I was generous enough to add the line breaks that tell you where a scene transition or a sequence with little dialogue occur:



Shags to Riches


Shaggy: We’re billionaires! Hee, hee! Billionaires, Scoob, and just in time for brunch!

Scooby-Doo: A b-b-b-billion dollars!?

Shaggy: We gotta call the gang!                                          

.../ Hey everybody, you’ll never believe it. Like, wow! Like, rich! My uncle!

Fred: It’s Shaggy. He’s saying something about his uncle Rich.

Velma: His uncle’s name is Albert.

Daphne: Maybe he’s speaking in secret code.

Shaggy: Huh, I’m having trouble speaking clearly, Scoob. Tell it to them.

Scooby: Uh, rokay. Uh, Raggy’s uncle Ralbert reft a rillion rollars and row we are rich!

Velma: Shaggy’s Uncle left him a billion dollars and now we’re rich!

Shaggy: That’s right everybody, we’re rich! So, like, make a list of everything you ever wanted and we’ll buy it for ya! Call you later from the mansion!

Scooby: Mansion?

Shaggy: That’s right, Scoob. My uncle left us one of those too!


.../ You know what the craziest part of this whole thing is, Scoob? Uncle Albert didn’t even pass away. He just went…up and disappeared, and left everything to us!

Scooby: Hmm, sounds like a mystery!

Shaggy: A mystery I’d like to solve!

Robi: Welcome, guests!

Scooby: Ruh!?

Shaggy: It’s okay, Scoob. It’s just Robi – Uncle Albert’s very first invention.

Robi: Then you are Mr. Albert’s beloved nephew Shaggy and his friend Scooby-Doop!

Scooby: Rooby-Roo.

Robi: Nice to meet you, Rooby-Roo!

.../ Ah, you’re hungry! Follow me to the kitchen, I’ll get the door.

Shaggy: My uncle never really did work out the kinks.

Robi: On second thought, please allow me to prepare a meal for you myself.

Shaggy: Just whip us up a plate of whatever you have!

Robi: Excellent idea. I believe the blender has a ‘whip’ setting.

Shaggy: Let’s hit the couch and watch a little tube.

Scooby: Ruh-huh.


Shaggy: …Or in this case, a big tube.

Robi: Lunch is served!

Shaggy: Uh…like, what is that?

Robi: I whipped you up a plate of beans! Unfortunately, the plate became mixed with the beans during the whipping process, which I fear has rendered them dangerous for consumption.

Shaggy: Well…there is still good news, Scoob.

Scooby: What’s that?

Shaggy: I think I found the TV remote!


.../ Scoob, it’s my Uncle Albert’s secret lab. Look at all these cool inventions. A teleportation device, a shrinking ray…oh, we probably shouldn’t touch anything.

Scooby: Uh, right.

Shaggy: Last one to the shrinking ray is a rotten egg!

.../ Ho-ho, how cute, a tiny Scoob. Pretty cool huh, Scoob?

.../ Hey Scoob, look at this! It’s from Uncle Albert.

.../ “Use this computer password to access my files.”

Scooby: Rhoa.

Shaggy: Right, you’ll never believe this, Scoob: the password is Scooby Snack! Cool, Uncle Albert recently discovered a new super top secret invention: a formula for something called Nano-technology.

.../ “It lets yourself transform into amazing stuff. But since it’s still in the developmental stage, it’s only safe for use on animals.”

Scooby: Well…?

Shaggy: Yeah, a bunch of really bad guys are after it.

Scooby: Bad guys, ruh!?

Shaggy: Uncle Albert wants us to use our mystery solving skills to find the formula and keep it away from those bad guys!

.../ “No one, including me, will be safe until your mission is complete. I must now go into hiding as I fear that my life is in extreme dange-“

Scooby: Extreme…range?

Shaggy and Scooby: Extreme danger!

Shaggy: I’m glad we’re his family. We have to do whatever it takes to save him!

Scooby: You’re right, Raggy!

Shaggy: But first, we have to eat. Look!

.../ We hit the jackpot, Scoob! Frozen hot dogs, salsa, taco shells, and guess what else: a recipe for new, improved Scooby Snacks!

Scooby: Scooby Snacks!? Roh boy! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yummy!

Shaggy: All we have to do now is print out a recipe for hot dog tacos and we’re cooking! My uncle is such a great guy, Scoob. I wonder what kind of a person would ever want to hurt him.


Dr. Phineus Phibes: Agents three through thirteen. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll tell me that you have located Dr. Albert Shaggleford’s formula. Well?

Agent 3: I’d like to tell you that we found the doctor, Phibes, but that would be fibbing and you told us never to fib.

Dr. Phibes: I admire your integrity, #3…not!                                                                                        

.../ I will have that formula, gentlemen, or I will destroy anyone who fails me, or gets in my way! Oh, there’s agents one and two calling in with some rare footage! It looks as if someone else is looking for the formula too…but not for long!


Agent 2: Here we are, surveilling the residence. Yes! It is them, the enemy home!

Agent 1: Agent 1 here, Dr. Phibes. I’m in position with agent #2.

Agent 2: Huh? I don’t want to be agent #2, might as well call me “Agent Poopy Pants.” I want to be called something cool and scary like…”Agent Striking Cobra!”

Dr. Phibes: Hello? Hello!?

Agent 1: Dr. Phibes, Dr. Phibes. Great, now I lost him!

Dr. Phibes: Hello? Hello? Hello!?

Agent 1: Agent #1…

Agent 2: And Agent Striking Cobra!

Dr. Phibes: Agent Striking Cobra? Is he new?

Agent 2: It’s me, boss! Only with a cooler and scarier handle.

Dr. Phibes: Just seek the secondary start of Dr. Albert Shaggleford’s mansion. As for the new occupant, shoot first and ask questions later. Phibes out!

Shaggy: .../ I found the fan, Scoob. You can shut the window now!

.../ Well, Scoob, with the all-important food issue settled, we can spend some quality time noodling around our newest mystery. My life has so many questions to answer.

Scooby: Yeah, and where’s uncle Ralbert?

Shaggy: And where’s the formula too, his super, secret invention, and why did he make “Scooby Snacks” the password to his computer? And finally, our hot dog tacos are as good as they smell, or am I just going crazy from not eating all day?

Agent 1: Break it down on a count of three. One, two, three!

Robi: .../ Welcome, guests! Whoa, watch your step!

Shaggy: It’s like, almost time to eat, Scoob! Let the countdown begin!

Agent 1: Hey, tin can, put your pinchers in the air!

Shaggy and Scooby: Six, five, four…

Agent 1: Hey, talking trash can, take this!

Robi: I must warn you, my titanium hole is impervious to lasers.

Shaggy: Like, I never thought I’d never say this again, but let’s eat!

Shaggy and Scooby: .../ Oh no!

.../ Bad guys!

Scooby: Roh, ron’t shoot!

Shaggy: Like, we’ll tell you anything you want to know!

Agent 2: We want the formula, but we have orders to shoot first and ask questions later, so even if you know it, don’t give it to us until after we shoot you!

Shaggy: Make like penguins, Scoob.

.../ Ah, we gotta hide, Scoob! Find the remote that opens the lab!

Scooby: So much pressure!

Shaggy: I know it’s a lot of pressure, Scoob, just try!


.../ Like, where do we hide, Scoob? Wait, like, I shrink I have an idea.

Scooby: Roh!

Agent 1: .../ Hey, oh ho-ho-ho-hah-hah-hey-hey, help #2!

Agent 2: Only if you call me Striking Cobra!

Agent 1: Just get ‘em!

Shaggy: See you guys, you should pick on someone your own size! Oh…or maybe not.

Agent 2: Don’t do anything stupid.

Agent 1: .../ Oh no! Aw great, that’s just great!

Shaggy: They’re kinda cute when they’re small.


Agent 1: We are back, Dr. P!

Agent 2: We got ‘em! Put up quite a fight, but here they are.

Dr. Phibes: Welcome. I am Dr. Phineus Phibes and this is my new chief scientist: Dr. Trebla.

Shaggy: Hi.                                                                                                                                                               

Dr. Trebla: Greetings.

Dr. Phibes: Considering how famous, or should I say infamous, I have become I have to assume you have some very…bad things about me. Perhaps I’m a ruthless megalomaniac, technology pirate whose own so-called failures as a scientist have driven me insane?

.../ The truth is I’m quite a reasonable man.

.../ Who put foam in my latte!?                                                                         

.../ I have a simple offer. Give me the formula and I’ll let you leave. Then, what you say?

Scooby: We don’t have it! We don’t have it!

Shaggy: Sure we do, Scoob. It’s in my pocket.

Scooby: Really? Phew.

Dr. Phibes: Finally, after a lifetime of work, I hold the key to world domination. A formula, then when refined by Dr. Trebla, and tested on my agents...will transform me into an invincible, indestructible mortal being! Thank you.

Shaggy and Scooby: You’re welcome.

Dr. Phibes: Now throw them in the ballast chamber until we test the formula.

Shaggy: Hey! Like, you said you were reasonable!

Dr. Phibes: You’ll be fine, unless we dive and then both of you will drown.

Shaggy: Come on, Scoob. We have to get out of here before Phibes realizes that it was a recipe for hot dog tacos.

Dr. Phibes: Prepare to dive in one minute.

Shaggy: We’re in trouble, Scoob. Still, there’s always time for a snack.

.../ Metal. Why would Uncle Albert put metal in your Scooby Snacks?

.../ If only Velma was here, she’d use that computer brain of hers and then she’d say…jinkies! It all adds up, Scoob, the metal stuff, the Scooby Snack password, the fact that the formula was only safe for use on animals. Don’t you get it? The formula is in the Scooby Snacks!

Scooby: Roh!

Dr. Phibes: Diving in thirty seconds.

Shaggy: You have to eat it, Scoob! It’s our only hope!

.../ Scooby! Oh no, what have I done!? I’ve vaporized my best friend!

Scooby: Raggy? Raggy who?

Shaggy: Whoa! You’re like, invisible, Scoob! The formula worked!

Dr. Phibes: Diving in ten seconds.

Shaggy: Hey, guards! The dog escaped and left me in the sub! He’s armed and dangerous!

Agent 2: Oh, how did he escape?

Shaggy: He just, like, disappeared!

.../ Like, chalk one up for Shaggy and his invisible dog!

Scooby: Ralright!

Shaggy: Hey Scoob, in all our years of spooky mystery solving, what’s the one thing that always seems to scare people the most?

Scooby: Uh, rhosts?

Shaggy: That’s right, ghosts! Now, let’s go scare the pants off these guys!

.../ Like, come on, everybody! This submarine is haunted!

Agent 6: .../ A ghost!

Shaggy: .../ He can see you, Scoob.

.../ We did it! Now let’s take a dive!

Dr. Phibes: Hello? What is the meaning of this?

Agent 6: There’s a ghost on the sub!

Agent: He gave me a wedgie!

Dr. Phibes: Who cares if they escape? I have the formula.

Dr. Trebla: Uh, for hot dog tacos.

Dr. Phibes: What? I hate hot dog tacos.

.../ Hello?


Shaggy: Now that we’ve read the rest of Uncle Albert’s files, we know like, two things! First, according to the recipe, the new, improved Scooby Snacks can turn Scoob into like, anything! And second, they only last until Scoob digests them, which in this case was signaled by a loud burp.

Fred: Wow, what a story! I guess you two will be working on your own for a while.

Shaggy: Or at least until we find Uncle Albert.

Velma: Just so you know, you can always count on us for help.

Shaggy: Like, I’m sure we’ll need it.

Velma: But I don’t know, it sure sounds like you guys have what it takes.

Daphne: I think you two have really grown up!

Fred: Then again, there’s still the same old Shaggy and Scooby.

Scooby: Scooby-Dooby-Doo!


Anyways, here is Shaggy & Scooby-Doo....Get the Keys!:

Languages used: Ukrainian-French-Bulgarian-Polish-Albanian-Frisian

Oooooo.Shaggy, Scooby Doo, get the keys!

We are on our way to the end

I will sing this song day by day!

Two friends walk

We have problems, let's read

Shaggy and Scooby Doo get the keys!

When I go to Scooby, Shaggy looks at sounds ...

I will sing this song day by day!

Food is what they are doing and they do not do it for you.

Shaggy and Scooby Doo get the keys!

They come in television or two stars

I will sing this song day by day!

Now the girls are also; Only shaggy and the series.

Shaggy and Scooby Doo get the keys!

We are on our way to the end

I will sing this song day by day!

Two friends walk

We have problems, let's read

Shaggy and Scooby Doo get the keys!


Shaggy and Scooby Doo get the keys!


Shaggy and Scooby Doo get the keys!

Shaggy! Scooby Doo! Get the keys!


Not for wealth


Hierrich (Frisian detected word for 'hairy'): We are a military! SIRKEL (Norwegian detected word for 'circle')! Millionaire, Scooby, and enjoy time!

Scooby Doo: B-b-billion dollar!

Hierrich: We need to call this team!

.../ Hi, you will never believe it. Eh! Love, rich! My uncle!

Fred: This is crazy. He says something about Rich Oncle (French detected word for 'uncle').

Welmesh: His uncle is Albert.

Daphne: Perhaps he says in the secret code.

Hierrich: Yes, I have problems, of course, Scooby. Tell them that.

Scooby: Oh, Rocky Tu Uncle Ragi (Indonesian detected word for 'yeast') Ralbert corrects the red nipples, and the line is rich!

Welmesh: Uncle Shaggy left him one billion dollars, and now we are rich!

Hierrich: Everything is beautiful, we are rich! For example, make a list of everything you always wanted and buy for me! Call me later from the stay!

Scooby: Court?

Hierrich: That's fine, Scooby. My uncle died and one of her!


.../ Do you know the worst part of everything, Scooby? Uncle Albert did not learn. He simply dropped ... and disappeared, and we're all gone!

Scooby: Hmm, that sounds like a secret!

Hierrich: The secret that I want to do!

Robbie: Welcome, Guest!

Scooby: Moasje! (Frisian detected word for 'motion')

Hierrich: Okay, Scoob. It's just Robbie - the first invention of Uncle Albert.

Robbie: So, you are the sweetest grandson of Albert Shaggy and his concept of Scooby-Dope!

Scooby: Rooby-Ro.

Robbie: Yes, Rooney-Row!

.../ Oh, you are hungry! I will have a door in the kitchen.

Hierrich: My uncle is never in trouble.

Robbie: In conviction I eat.

Hierrich: Just the plate of what you have!

Robbie: A good idea. I think the maker is a puzzle.

Hierrich: Check out the bed and look at the small receiver.

Scooby: Motion xx


Hierrich: ... or in this case a big tube.

Robbie: Lunch is served!

Hierrich: How are you?

Robbie: I made you fall out of the plates! Unfortunately, the stick is mixed with ties in the purchase process, which, after my opinion, is unsafe for consumerism.

Hierrich: Good ... all good news, Scooby.

Scooby: What is it?

Hierrich: I think I have a TV with a lot of control!


.../ The show is the secret laboratory of my uncle Albert. Look at all these great intentions. A telecommunications device that limits the tree ... oh maybe you should not touch anything.

Scooby: Nice.

Hierrich: The last stroke has caused the egg!

.../ Ho-ho, how sweet, not too scuba. Even nice Ha, Scooby?

.../ He, Shaw, see this! This is Uncle Albert.

.../ Msgstr "Use this password to access my files".

Scooby: Two

Hierrich: That's right, you will never believe, Scooby: Scooby Snack Password! Uncle Albert discovered a new and utterly dull invention: the formula of what was called nanotechnology.

.../ "It gives you wonderful things to change." But because it is still in development, it is safe for animals. "

Scooby: Fine ...?

Hierrich: Then there are many bad people.

Scooby: Bath, go!

Hierrich: Uncle Albert wants us to use our mysterious skills to find a model and to stop these bad boys!

.../ "No, including me, will be safe until your mission ends, now I must hide because I'm afraid my life does not end"

Scooby: Extreme ... range

Shaggy and Scooby: Extreme danger!

Hierrich: I am happy that his family would be. We have to do everything to save that!

Scooby: You are right, Ragie! (Italian detected word for 'turpentines')

Hierrich: But first you have to eat. To look!

.../ We won first prize, Scooby! Frozen foods, salsa, tacos and anything else: an idea for newly improved snacks Scooby!

Scooby: Scooby Scooby! Rogh (Irish detected word for 'selective') boy! Yes, yes, yes, it's tasty!

Hierrich: Everything you need to do is have a reception for your dog and make it! My uncle is a big boy, Scooby. I ask what he wants to do.


Dr. Finnius Fibis: Manufacture from three to thirteen. If you know what you are right, you will tell me that you are a model for Dr. Albert Shelgford have found. I'M GOOD?

Agent 3: I want to tell you that we found a doctor, Fibis, but it would be a knife, and you said he never could.

Dr. Fibis: I admire your honesty, # 3 ... no!

.../ I will have this formula, hear, or I will remove anyone who goes through me or goes through me! Oh, there are those who call this rare frame! It seems that someone is looking for a formula ... but not long!


Agent 2: Here we are, see the apartment. So! It is her, the enemy is home!

Agent 1: Agent 1 here, Dr. Fibis. I work with Agent No. 2.

Agent 2: AHA! I do not want Agent 2, I can even call Poopy Pants. I want to call myself cold and strange, like ... "The agent that overcomes Cobra!"

Dr. Fibis: Hello Hello!

Agent 1: Dr. Fibis, Dr. Fibis. Perfect, I'm lost now!

Dr. Fibis: Good morning, in the morning, in the morning!

Agent 1: Agent no. 1 ...

Agent 2: And the agent impresses Cobra!

Dr. Fibis: An agent is an imposing cobra? Is he young

Agent 2: It is me, master! Only with a cooler and terrible hands.

Dr. Fibis: Looking for a second exit of the Dr. Albert Schaglford. As for the new resident, look first and ask questions. Phoebe from there!

Hierrich: .../ I found a fan, Scooby. Now you can close the window!

.../ Also, Scooby, with the mainstream, can earn a good time with our last secrets. There are so many questions in my life that must be answered.

Scooby: Where Is Uncle Ralbert?

Hierrich: And where is the model, its superficial invention, and why do you create the "snook" logo for your computer? After all, our hot tacos are as good as they smell, I'm eating every day without food?

Agent 1: Break a third. One two three!

Robbie: .../ Welcome, Guest! Oh, look at your step!

Hierrich: It looks so fast for you, Scooby! Launch the countdown!

Agent 1: Hello, you can put your finger in the air!

Shaggy and Scooby: Six, five, four ...

Agent 1: Hello, you can do this, say, Dust!

Robbie: I must warn you that my title is resistant to lasers.

Hierrich: For example, I never thought I would rename, but I eat!

Shaggy and Scooby: .../ Oh no!

.../ Evil boys!

Scooby: Do not hit!

Hierrich: However, we will show you what you want to know!

Agent 2: We want to formulate, but we have the order to first write and ask questions, so even if you know, do not give us until we get the shot!

Hierrich: Make a penguin, Scooby.

.../ Oh, you have to hide, Scooby! Find a pilot who will open the lab!

Scooby: Maybe much pressure!

Hierrich: I know it is very urgent, heart, try it!


.../ How do we understand, Scooby? Wait for logging, I got an idea.

Scooby: Ro!

Agent 1: .../ He, oh, have, help number two!

Agent 2: Unless you call me a great cobra!

Agent 1: For sure!

Hierrich: You see, your boys, you have to have someone you have! Or perhaps it's not.

Agent 2: Do nothing else.

Agent 1: .../ Oh no! Oh, it's just fun!

Hierrich: They are sweet as they are young.


Agent 1: We are back, Dr. P!

Agent 2: We know it! Go to battle, but they are here.

Dr. Fibis: Hello, I'm Dr. Finnius Fibis, and here is the new conducting scientist, Dr. Treywell.

Hierrich: Hey.

Dr Troyll: Congratulations

Dr. Fibis: See, as far as I know, or I must say that it's a shame, began to believe that you have a lot of bad things for me. Maybe I'm an absolute megalomania, their hackers, their so-called loss or scientist made me awake?

.../ It is true that I am a very delicate boy.

.../ Who put foot in my coffee?

.../ I have a simple suggestion. Give me the formula and let me go. What do you say

Scooby: We did not! We did not!

Hierrich: Of course, honey. He is in my pocket.

Scooby: Business? In the story

Dr. Fibis: Finally, after work, I have the keys to world domination. Formula, perfect by Dr. Treblo and test in my agenda ... seduce me in an accidental and strangely deadly one! Thank you.

Shaggy and Scooby: Welcome.

Dr. Fibis: Now they will put in the ballroom until we check the formula.

Hierrich: Greetings! If I said, you woke up!

Dr. Fibis: Everything will be fine if you do not dive and drown.

Hierrich: Come, Squob. We must come here before Fibis explains that this is a recipe for many dog laps.

Dr. Fibis: Complete ready to watch in a minute.

Hierrich: We have problems with Scooby. But there is always time for eating.

.../ Metal. Why has Albert unmixed metal on your Snake Scooby?

.../ If they were only Wolf, they would use the computer hero and then say, "Yours!" All this is added by Skull, metal material, snack log of snack, the fact that the formula is safe for animals, do not you understand? Scooby!

Scooby: Ro!

Dr. Fibis: Double in thirty seconds.

Hierrich: You have to eat, Scooby! This is our only hope!

.../ Scooby! No, what have I done? I lost my best friend!

Scooby: Raggi? (Italian detected word for 'rays') Raggy, who?

Hierrich: SIRKEL! You are an invincible school! Formula works!

Dr. Fibis: Seven for ten seconds.

Hierrich: Hey the waiters! The dog reduced and I left on Saturday! He is armed and dangerous!

Agent 2: Oh, how was he gone?

Hierrich: He just disappeared!

.../ How cold for Shaggy and his invisible dog!

Scooby: Ralwright!

Hierrich: Hello, Shaw, are annoying every year as mysterious decisions for what does the poorest people look like?

Scooby: Ah, grow up?

Hierrich: That's just ghosts! Now you will be afraid of the boys' pants!

.../ Love, everyone comes! This submarine rotates!

Agent 6: .../ Spirit!

Hierrich: .../ He sees you, honey.

.../ We have done it! Let's eat it!

Dr. Fibis: Hi, what does this mean?

Agent 6: The submarine has a spirit!

Agint: She gave me a marriage!

Dr. Fibis: Who cares if they leave? I have a formula

Dr Troyll: Oh, for the allowances for hot dogs.

Dr. Fibis: What? I hated the taxi with dogs.

.../ Hi


Hierrich: Now, if we read the files of the uncle of Alberta, we can know how to do two things! Firstly, according to the recipe, Scoobys' new and finest flavors can get the Skuoba into one thing! And twenty, they only existed before Skob (Russian detected word for 'brackets') breaks, because in this case was a high noise.

Fred: Wow, what's the story? I think you're both working time.

Hierrich: At least until our Uncle Albert finds.

Welmesh: To know, you can always help.

Hierrich: If I'm sure, we have to do this.

Welmesh: But I do not know, it seems, of course, that you need something.

Daphne: I think you're really dizzy!

Fred: Then there is the same Shaggy and Scooby old.                                                                                                                                                         

Scooby: Scooby-Doo!


Don't worry, my variety series won't be flooded with Google Translated writings for most of the way. My next inclusion to my variety series, however, will be another dive into a part of my past history.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

14. Steel's Amateur Art Show

This is a collection of art that I've made from my early years on SBC. Some of these have been archived by SBC, and some of them were gone because of tinypic not being the most reliable image-hosting service, or because of any other mishaps. Since I have kept them saved in my documents, I will now dig them back up as an art exhibit to to showcase my shoddy graphic design skills back in the early days.


This is apparently my earliest crafted design from bannerfans. 'Member the Empire State Building from Z-Storm?


Take an empty shot of a background from SpongeBob and just add text. Those were indeed simpler times.


This was the prototype banner that I've used for Pisces Moon. Nothing says fighting crime in the name of the moon quite like a solar eclipse.


I've made this as a suggestion for a new banner for forumotion SBC, and clearly, this never saw the light of day.


I actually never publicized this before. This was an idea for a banner for the Spin-Offs and Literatures forum by making a collage. This wasn't my idea of a final result and I've made this back in very early 2011.


This Pokemon Black and White inspired scene transition was used only once for my S.P.O.N.G.E.B.O.B. miniseries and I never utilized something like this ever again since after delaying its end for a few years, I've picked up a bit of a different vision for that old spin-off of mine.


Made this for SOF.


Made this for Jjs.


Okay, I'm actually proud of this one. This was the second banner that I made for Pisces Moon, and it clicked with me since it genuinely matched the theme for my spin-off.


And of course, I couldn't ignore making a banner for this spin-off.


ew, kill it.


Eventually, I made a far better banner for Z-Storm.



Credit actually goes to @CDCB for both of these images. I've had to salvage these, so don't call me an art thief since I'm giving him credit.


And yet I couldn't make a cool enough banner for UWS back in early 2012.


I made this for OMJ. I apparently don't remember why though.


Made this for a Store-exclusive compilation thing that never got made.


Apparently, I had the audacity to make a third banner for Pisces Moon. This one was pretty bland.


I'm also actually proud of this one although I had to download the font for Skyfall. Just pretend that 'U' is actually just a 'C' turned sideways. (Also, this would be the last time I would try to make something with bannerfans.)


This one is actually recent, and I made it to hype up that crossover review that Clappy and Nuggets intended to make that never saw the light of day.

And that's pretty much it. Most of my other pictures on my documents are old avatars of mine that I've salvaged. Maybe I will post them with a little added history at some point.

Edited by Steel Sponge
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

15. A warning against Tommy ("Tommy's First Birthday")

Here's another off-series special of SBSP:LiT until it returns from a temporary hiatus (Besides the Halloween special that I will post later on, shhh). This week's victim is the first episode of Rugrats aired. I've created this out of boredom back in July, and now I have the opportunity to share it with you all. The language setup for this was Italian-Swahili-Catalan-Kazakh-Azerbaijani-Xhosa-Malay-Greek-Polish-Tamil. Anyways...


A warning against Tommy


Lesson: Morning is not good, champagne.

Style and Deepi: "Happy birthday, Tommy!"

Whose: - One year today.

Lesson: "My son, this is a great gift for you."

.../ "Diddy found me, you waited, did you speak Herrera's example?"

Whose: "Yes, yes, Stoo. (Swahili detected word for "Store.")"

Lesson: "Think about this, the body is 6 feet long and four feet ..."

.../ "Girls!"

Whose: "A bucket, a new army!"

Lesson: "For example, Haviram (Hindi detected word for "The image.") is about 30 km and about 5 km per hour."

Whose: "Goichi (Japanese detected word for "Your location.") Cove ..."

Lesson: "There are three spaces in two spaces."

Whose: "Take the nose!

Lesson: "Three way battery, AA battery, C and 9 volt battery, it's not a remote control."

Whose: Dear mother is not a toy, look!


Lesson: "It's a lot of fun, very important and I'm saying, please choose the toy to play on the map."

Whose: "All Rights Reserved!"

.../ Let's see what happens in this book.

.../ "Food Engineering, Twelve Months".

.../ "Lesson, we have to stop Tommy's actions."

.../ "Make a teaspoon of milk ..."

Lesson: "Moving items?"

Whose: "Lipshitz knows better, stu, we are now working."

.../ "No, Tommy, the roof is open!"

.../ "Under the sun."

.../ "Read and register for a birthday purpose".

Lesson: "Stop".

Whose: "Yes, live beetle."

Lesson: "Analysis".

Whose: "Put your tail on your neck".

Lesson: See safety and airport segments.

Whose: "Shows the Dollar?"

Lesson: "Yes, the guards, footsteps, shorts and blankets last for ten hours."

Whose: "Magnificent!"

lu: "Children's Video Clip of the Year?" We will not forget the small sword!

Whose: "Remember your birthday."

Lesson: Want to remember your family?

Whose: "Take care, act or use roots!

Lesson: "It does not work, I have this idea!"

Whose: "I do not know the reservation, and all my books should be scrupulous.

Lesson: "I think, DD, you say who you are."

.../ Look here, Tommy!

Business lawyer: .../ "Husky's Choice: Rush, Criticism, I Must Be a Good Dog".

Whose: "You have a chance, be here."

Lesson: "No, my favorite dress!"

Whose: "Sir!"

Lesson: "I gave $ 70 on T-shirt for Lorogas!"

Whose: "I know the beauty."

Lesson: "It's impossible!"

lu: "The box is only the fabric of love.

Lesson: "Do you think?

Whose: "Oh, I think I'll meet her, I want to get a sponge."

Lesson: "Look, hurry up!

Whose: "I'm here ..."

Lesson: "No, this is a spoon!"

lu: .../ "From time to time, how do you know?

.../ "What do you want to see?"

Whose: .../ "I'll find it!"

.../ "Hi, hi, box, how are you?"

Howard: "Yes,"

Box: "Expectation, Work, Satisfaction or Howard?"

Howard: "Box ..."

Box: "Oh Howard, DD, all the children are angry."

Howard: "That's right ..."

Box: "I know the twins are full of gadgets, today little suck!"

.../ "Hi, can you check this guy?"

lu: "Children's movies this year?" Because when I made a mistake, I do not have a copy.

.../ "If we had a good time, we would leave."

.../ "Then we can go for 15 kilometers from the shirt ..."

Box: "How long is the ghost?"

lu: "I'm glad"

Box: "What is a man digging?"

lu: "What Lesbians can do for us."

Box: "Are they there?"

lu: "Do not ask, you are asking for everything."


Lesson: Tommy loved it.


Chucky: .../ "About!"

Box: "A little, right?"

.../ "Oh, I think this warning applies!"

Whose: "No, no, hello, boy!"

Tommy: "Chuck, Phil, Lilly, I did not say anything.

Bill and Lill: "Yes?"

Tommy: "Dog food".

Bill and Lill: "Dog food?"

Tommy: "Dogs, I'm trying to leave the former Spaniard, but my dad lives there."

Chucky: "Why do you have food?"

Tommy: "Yes, eat soup!"

.../ "You can do anything, sleep, maybe eat dog roots, we will be a dog".

lu: "What sounds, sounds and flowers!"

In: "Can we get flowers?"

lu: "Down, boy, stop, stop, teacher, come to me, big pen!"

Bill: Do you know these people?

In: - Should we use our words?

Chucky: "I do not know, it's a good thing, a good dog, no waste and waste."

Bill and Lill: "Oh, we'll do that!"

Whose: "No, I forgot to use the crime!"

Box: "They will stay for three minutes."

.../ Hello, time to throw the pina (Spanish detected word for "pineapple.")?

Whose: "Let all children come here."

Box: "Who's not here?"

Whose: "Tommy's friend from Angelica."

Box: "Yes, Angelica.

I know, Chuck, Bill and Lill: "Angelica?"


Angelica: "Can I play with my daddy when Tommy is a bit of a party?"

Tax: "Teddy, Diddy is preparing a birthday cake and preparing a toy show." Stoya (Russian detected word for "Standing.") thinks his brother is right in the world!

Angelica: "About!"

Tax: - We are here now.


Point search: "Puppy, door, door!"

Lesson: "Well, stay here!"

.../ "I, his brother's greetings, Angelica!"

Tax: Where are you, stu?

Lesson: "I went to the laboratory, I worked for Tommy's gift, I was waiting, I'm waiting, I'm fine."

Tax: "What are you doing now?"

Lesson: I'll ask you this question, True, you know.

Tax: "What happened?"

Lesson: "It's Tommy, I've played: you have to try to find boys, three players and three." Show that you are right.


Tommy: "Oh, Angelica, do you know dog food?"

Angelica: "If you come back and dress up, you can take your birthday, but if my reward is open, I'll stay with my fingers and roots."

Chucky: "Tommy thought you were eating something, you could say that."

Angelica: - Do you see the neck and nails?

Bill: "I threw the cat!

In: "We're not screaming for months!"

Angelica: - Did I tell my friend?

.../ Help!

Tommy: "Yes, we eat dogs."


Box: "A good food."

Whose: "What are papers, ribbons, candies?"

Box: "Please stop."

Whose: The box, our mother's future depends on the area, and a few minutes ago there was a papyrus game with women in here.

Box: - Maybe now.

Whose: "About!"

.../ "Hi, look, papa!"

Dogs: "Where can I hear Tommy?"

.../ "Look!"

Lesson: "Hello, Boris, Salem, Mocha, Well, good ... we give you a gift."


Whose: "True here.

Lesson: Come on! Did you understand

Howard: "M"

Lesson: "It's funny, True, this idea?" What does this mean?

.../ "No, yes, Tommy, your father's gift!"

Can you: "what is this?"

Lesson: "Hoverama.

lu: "Are you careful, do you make a mistake?" Not enough on this phone! He is not a devil, an old man.

Lesson: "Everyone can work, Bob! I want to show here."

.../ "No, I forgot about the battery! Now I keep my kids ..."

Whose: - Ah, Stu, I think the sun is a game of Tommy.

.../ "Why Howard Can Open?"

Tommy: "About!"

Howard: "I'm a second pain."

.../ "Get the child's room or go to a baby."

Lesson: "I asked."

Howard: "Only apply to the current technology, and talk to your child for free."

Tax: "You look?"

.../ "Head of the head, cement, craft, high of this cowboy?

lu: "He is 14, cowboy, I'm strong and clean." That is, it is "good".

Lesson: "Listen, let's see what we can do."

Howard: "You have a good chance: this device works in-house control and is designed for four devices randomly."

In: .../ "Where?"

Angelica: Og! (Norwegian detected word for "And.")

Whose: "Where's Tommy?"


Tommy: .../ "who is this?"

Whose: "No, there is a wonderful gift that you can open."

.../ "Wake up, yeah."

.../ "This is a disaster."

Box: "Oh, I say," I do not see anyone happy.

Whose: "But mom did not want me to look after my mother."

Box: Come, TV, TV. That's true "

Whose: "Destroy them!"

Author: .../ - is it salty?

Whose: - you are beautiful;

Author: How can I see myself as a girl? "Be peaceable today!"

Whose: - If not, where are the words, where?

Author: "The project says STAGE, and the manufacturer of PUPPETS can not see anything!"

Whose: - What about unsafe pictures and paper use?

Author: "Record, Make".

.../ "good morning!"

lu: "They are fourteen times older than the bedroom!"

Whose: "Everyone will say this once."

Lesson: "Call, move, good dialogue."

Whose: "The lesson is a big thing!"

Lesson: Do you want to leave the battery?

Whose: - No, we want furniture and cabinets, but there is no building.

lu: "From the river."

Lesson: Tell me, True, why did you ask the idea? "

Tax: "No, no investment in the bank!"

lu: - Who's the guy at the end of the project?

Lesson: "No, disappointment, pop." She will not leave me, and True wants to see her. If not eighteen or nine, brother, Faale (Samoan detected word for "Prosperity.") Dale, we can do the last!

Tax: "No ..."

Lesson: "Yes, everything is in the bedroom.

In: .../ "About!"

Lesson: "We will show you at the Red Beach!"

.../ "OK!"

Tax: "who is there?"

Lesson: "I'm a red lamp!"

Tax: "No, no, come on!"

Lesson: "Mom, you have a good eye!"

Tax: thank you very much.

Lesson: "God, destruction!"

Tax: - Yes I am.

Lesson: - No, it's good to hear it, my dear!

Tax: "No!"

Lesson: "It's obvious!"

Tax: "I'm sorry, I'm disappointed."

Lesson: "No, do not worry, right?"

Tax: "Maybe you can say?"

Lesson: "Yes, why are you proud, but at least you know your joke?"

Tax: - No, I did not see him before, he thought.

Tommy: "About!"

Lesson: "Yes, yes, there's another debt."

Tax: Here's a little piece!

Lesson: "Late!"

Tax: "Yes, I always ask my thing, I am a killer, I try to stop him."


Chucky: "Tommy?"

Bill: "It's working, dog!"

Chucky: "Is this a dog, Tommy?"

Bill: Are you leaving a cat?

In: - Want to build a playground?

Angelica: "The sender will be closer, will you send it?"

In: "Dad, Tommy!

Angelica: "Wait, Tommy!"

Bill: "We want to be a dog!"

Chucky: .../ "Tommy, come back."

Tommy: "Where am I?"

Chucky: "Dog"

Tommy: - No, no dog, the soldiers did not eat all the dogs.

In: "But I have to sleep with flowers.

Angelica: I want to talk to his friend! "

Tommy: .../ "Look!"


Lesson: - It's my card and stupid white.

Tax: "Yes, I will come again, I'll do it again and you really do not have to leave my room if you really want to."

lu: "Stay with them or do two things."


Chucky: "What are you doing now?"

Tommy: "Oh yeah, you can not go there!"

Angelica: "What do you think, twenty five pounds?" I can not go!

Chucky: "Stop"


Lesson: "I am a motorcycle and I use it".

Tax: "When I was still using, I wrote a little bit, so I did skate board."

Lesson: "Skateboard, Skateboard!"

Whose: - Yes, we do not agree, this lesson is not True Skaterboard falling, Soi (French detected word for "follow.") can not follow.

Can you: "What's wrong with you?"


Tommy: "Take this, suck!"

.../ "It's a bit!"

.../ "More than ten!"

Bill: "There's a lot," said Stuck.

(cue start of long sequence of the Hoverama losing control.]

Tommy: .../ "who are you?"

Angelica: "About!"

Tommy: "who is this?"

.../ "who is this?"

.../ "who is this?"

In: "Now you do this too.

Tommy: "who is this?"

Angelica: "About!"

Tommy: "get up!"

.../ "who is this?"

Chucky: "Do not ask, I'll get water!"

Tommy: "who are you?"

.../ "who is this?"

.../ No? Oh no!

Chucky: "We have to try again.

Tommy: "who is this?"

.../ "Hey!"

.../ "who is this?"

In: .../ - Now you want to leave.

Bill: "No!"

In: "Bottom".

Bill: "Fine!"

Chucky: "Please be careful!"

Tommy: "What's the door?"


Whose: .../ "Well, master, do not hesitate."

Lesson: "Tony Bo-Vo is my girlfriend."

.../ "Why ... why did not your ears pass?"

Tax: "If I'm not wrong, the lesson is the fourth, can I forgive him?"


Tommy: "About!"

[End long sequence.]

Whose: "No, my brother!"

.../ "The army has completely destroyed the pill, it's a disaster."

Howard: - Yes, I think it's very good.

.../ "Oh, I'll eat."

Tommy: "About!"

Lesson: A big toy, this cake is great. "

.../ "No, my other clothes!"

Can you: "What prostitutes? Chocolate in ancient places, there are no players in the arena!"

Dogs: "It's not the last time or you can not see a chocolate cake?"

Can you: "In your opinion, an international chocolate cake."

Dogs: "No, it's a man in the world!"

Whose: .../ "Daddy, yes, I have to make cake, mummy, not your job!"

Bill: .../ "You know, I like it.

Angelica: "When will they work?"

Chucky: "Maybe it's time."

Tommy: "Wait a moment, you're asking something: delivery, evil, not only!

Angelica: "Wool, violence, april kirr, uv, wu! (Chinese detected word for "no.")"

Tommy: "About!

In: "Oh, I think I'm burning!"

Bill: "Me!"

Chucky: "I can not grow up late." Awoo!

Stu, Diddy, Lou, Boris and Mecca: "No!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Here's one last interlude/off-series special before I decide to let my main Google Translated series return from hiatus. (which sad for me to say, won't happen until the next episode of Rebirth of a Storm is done. That should probably influence me a little more into finishing it this month.) My next target became Alex Jones because well...he's so much of a nutjob to the point where if you go into the comments section of any AJ YTP, some will say that even a chopped and screwed version of him is no different. If so, then a Google Translated version of him won't make him come off as a different person either. My only source for the translated text was through Wikiquote (and credits goes to the website) as I wasn't able to find anything else quoted from his Info Wars content elsewhere and I was too lazy to find any other Info Wars content that could be exploitable for this. Anyways...


16. Lost in Translation: The Alex Jones Special


Alex Jones: Have your feeling like your power is not. Unfortunately, to stop him. Connecting to a TV with an integrated TV. The warranty begins. He starts to grow up when the mirror looks, his teeth and says. "I'm a man.” I deserve. I do not agree. I'll start to identify that update. I'm going to cooperate. I can not fight with my family. I organize my family, and I know that social engineer. And I'll rescue our neighbors. We look after ourselves. Your humanity. Ah ah! Yahoo! We know we are under attack. We know that! At the end we are united! Yahoo! Real! Now we have to have globalization. let us know. let us know. You know what we do. I'm sorry. I only exist when we work and how we want to build them and how they can not handle it simply.

We’re Coming for Ya Globalist


Alix Jones: What do you think the water is? This is a boy. And I do not say that there are no ways for a person to have sex. I'm not right, honest. I want to break. You think I'm surprised, so I'm afraid here because I'm not happy with my baby. I do not like the fact that the juice is poured into chemicals for a kiss in the play. Do you know? I am a painting.

Gay Bomb Rant


Alek Jones: For 22 years I have not used a tire - but jewelry has disappeared. Listen to the dogs. What is your joke? Do you sit and tell juice? Thou shalt fall upon my face, and I will kill the dog's son. Page. Kidnapped. Listen to these temptations, cross the line. Adult your head by releasing it. Do not let the trumpet. You fix the land, you're surprised, throwing innocent people away, press the mouth and tell me that I'm an enemy. Did you get a donkey? Fill your hand, I'm sorry, I'm ready. I call it a foreign agent. It's amazing, please forgive me.

Adam Schiff Rant

English- Bulgarian-Telugu-Sinhala-Hindi-Catalan-Khmer

Alice: If I'm here, especially in poor areas, if you know they are bunkers on the street, they will go, I do not say I'm color. If they grow up ... if I try to break them, I will ignore them, they will come to me, and I will hand over strife. Because when I have my head, I will clean them and do not let me knees. Besides, he did not want to kill them. Because I was in prison and the story, I knew it was in defense. Below the road. So I'm sitting: "Well, you make me sound." It was difficult for me to win. I do not think it's black. I think a guy is like a guy, it's terrible, I think I'll protect him. When I got to the beach a few years ago, when I left the South Rice Restaurant, I riding a motorbike with a motorbike. Many wrinkles are good people. It was like a fool ... They thought I saw it well, it was good. The man came out of the helmet. I'll divorce her, she's trying to do everything, so I'm going to attack these three. Then they got the gun. I have to take it. I mean, this is for me. I can not help it. I thought, "Well, I'm ready to kill you." Okay. I thought, "Well, good. These people will be judged immediately. They can be a real prisoner accused. I have three children. I know you know, the dinosaurs use Turbo as the only force. I thought, "If you do not succeed, do not dominate." I know everything about me, ready to take it! And ... I know what you say? ARG comes out! I'm not clean from the band! There is nothing with black people. As I begin to fight against it, I will leave. Nevertheless, I apologize to all of you.

Self-Defense Rant


Alex Jons: I know ... before sitting here and seeing this place, the world is on the side of these scientists. I'm done, I'll be there, and I can not carry it anymore. Please tell me some treacherous idols. The most unique psychotherapy you see is the real basis for looting the absolute absolute crown of the country, the country, the West, and the Western Renaissance. It is a valuable pearl of literature, music, technology, science, medicine and culture all over the world. Satan wants to sacrifice the West! You want to kill the wonderful gods in the West! You are an enemy, you get donkeys, know what we are offering and we want to come.

Alex Jones Melts Globalists Over Terror


Alek Jones: The CEO of the company is not only worried about wearing black suits, designers and people watching ... I know I'm fine! You have gold-shaped glasses! She scared me! Uh ... blow! Jerks! The only thing with my confidence is photography, sweat, black suit and bark. You know this fool! You know it's spam! You know it's bad! Ah! Yes, you have veins, I love you myself. Oh, you got a vein, good! Good pain hurts!

Demonic Mustache Rant


Alex Jones: Hitler hit the guns. Stalin took his hands. Burn fire. You know, "Political force grows in a dog." As a result, the best people say that they are attacking people, some are being killed, then I'm guilty and all weapons must be paid. Can anyone blame if he car? Do you have a baseball? This is a healthy idea and you have problems with your college students who are eating food but were not invited to participate or partly to Dana Loch, "Burn". This has caused CNN to now use the second edition you want to use to avoid the first review! You have YouTube to stop using weapons or weapons that are weapons, but Hollywood and video players can display all the weapons they want. This is a very complicated process!

"Antigun Activist David Hogg Attacks Infowars For Gay Frogs"


Aleck Jones: Hitler took the rifle, defeated by the Italian Rifle, destroyed his weapons, Castro's torture, Hugo Chavez took the rifle. And here I tell you, 1776 if we try to kill life, it will start again. Regardless of how to go on the streets to call your gun. We'll keep you, you know. So you are failing to find that these things are not planted, when you take your weapons, the Republic will resume.

Alex Jones on Piers Morgan Tonight


Alec Jones: I am a pioneer, I am a pioneer. I'm alive, I'm alive, and more heart goes faster than hot. I want to hit. I want to take food. Do you want kids? I'm here! I need a life that we look forward to, so I behave in front of everyone. I'm here! I have freedom! At the very least, ammunition can be placed in each other.

Alex Jones is a human

  • God Himself 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

17. Oracle of the Cosmos Pilot: First Version


Steel Sponge Productions presents…






City limits. It was dusk out in the City of Northern Lights. As Umbriel still resided with her grandparents than from her original home in Basin Borough, Titan appeared by the hillside alone. The deoxyDNA marking that took over his left eye has since dissipated from his revival and removal process in the floating island, in which it had ceased into destruction.

A year has passed since the end of Makemake’s rule.


As Titan’s head was shown from the back, gazing at the aurora lights in the starry sky, he sees his life flashing, with blurred visions of him and Umbriel dancing around in the Pisces Kingdom’s ballroom, Umbriel re-introducing him to her grandparents, a crystalline light show in Pisces Planet, and a view of the Luminous Samurai wardrobe from the inside of the kingdom’s supersized closet before grabbing them….


Titan was carrying the set of unworn clothing and continued looking upon the horizon.


Titan then spoke, but it echoed:


“I’ve got so many places to go, leaving behind my own universe – when the special someone left and gone places. Nothing, however, is going to break our molds.”






The view began to fade into black and began to show the three-dimensional world. It shows Pisces Planet below one universe.

[“I Saved the World Today” by Eurythmics starts to play.]


Monday finds you like a bomb
That's been left ticking there too long

An aerial view of Pisces Planet is viewed until panning out to the Earth that exists below it

You're bleeding
Some days there's nothing left to learn
From the point of no return
You're leaving

Transitioning from the view of the planet Earth, a different universe is shown being deserted and in ruins. Signs are slashed and torn apart and buildings were in shambles. A smudged sign read "R**b*n C**y."

Hey, hey I saved the world today
Everybody's happy now
The bad things gone away


Next to be shown was particles of light floating around in a night sky before showing an aerial view of the sky in Equestria and the Canterlot castle where two equines take a glimpse at the moon, closer to the atmosphere than usual.

And everybody's happy now
The good thing's here to stay
Please let it stay

Shown now was an empty area in Pisces Planet with small chunks of asteroids floating around. It resembled a hilltop and most of it looked smashed up.

There's a million mouths to feed
And I've got everything i need
I'm breathing

Titan was seen looking around a dusk sky brightened up with yellow particles of light. He then sees a constellation lined up to show an image of Umbriel. A transparent Umbriel then appeared in front of the constellation and Titan was coming towards it.

And there's a hurting thing inside
But I've got everything to hide
I'm grieving

Titan was trying to touch the hand of the transparent Umbriel before he saw the image turn into a series of yellow specks before they all burned out and disappeared.

Hey, hey I saved the world today
Everybody's happy now
The bad things gone away

Titan was now seen lying on a field with 6 others, specifically his partners. The perspective then changes after panning over to the sea sponge Strezz...

And everybody's happy now
The good thing's here to stay
Please let it stay

Somewhere in Shellside Shores, 10 individuals stood atop of a cave and saw the expanded moon had partly stuck out through the thick clouds.

Do the good thing

One by one, a series of other different universes were viewed with the same expanded moon present in the sky. A shadow of an unidentified person also casts in each one.

Hey, hey I saved the world today
Everybody's happy now
The bad things gone away

A scientist was shown working inside a laboratory before panning below to the same individual looking up at the same moon as seen previously. He was seen carrying an unlabelled document....

And everybody's happy now
The good thing's here to stay
Please let it stay

Lastly, the group of seven are seen as each recollect their memories of their home worlds with transparent images around them (except Lotus Petals).

Everybody's happy now

Written and Produced by:

Steel Sponge

They all then walk towards the vortex to another world before disappearing into it.



There was a clear view of a train rolling down along the rails. Zooming through one of the windows was Titan, resting. Before then, he was shown on the inside of the locomotive wide awake, thinking to himself about how he knows that he has now entered a universe he wasn’t familiar with. Titan looked around to see some of the other passengers. They were all sitting in one row opposite to Titan’s.


Titan looks at his self, sporting a short white robe with long sleeves, black at the tip of the sleeves, and near the bottom, had a crescent-shaped pattern. He had a thin, dark blue, close-fitting collar, as well as dark blue leggings, with curled up shoes at the bottom.


He looked upon the other passengers for their looks. One was a sea sponge with visor sunglasses, a dark blue shirt combined with gray jeans and boots with a lighter tint of gray. Another was a humanoid male with thick, dark, spiked up hair, dark blue tee, a karate belt tied around his waist, athletic tape tied around his wrists, long denim jeans, and a pair of martial-arts-based loafers. The next one resembled a red sea dragon with webbed ears as well as webbing at the tip of his tail. His abdomen was light yellow, up his back were stone-shaped, light blue spines, and had various markings around his forehead, arms, and legs. Worn on his back were a wooden necklace and a patched up brown shirt.


Next, there was a humanoid male with messy looking, blonde hair, and part of it blocking his left eye. He had a loose, white shirt worn around his black tank. He also sports long denim jeans and brown shoes. Next to him was another humanoid but a female. She had long brunette hair, sported a black sleeved jacket wrapped around a brick red shirt, along with wide leg gray jeans, tucked in with her black boots.


There was another individual unlike Titan, but on his side of the train seats. There was a unicorn, specifically a mare, with a mane and tail that was white as peppermint, her skin was tinted a turquoise. Lastly, her cutie mark resembled a cloud with flower petals.


Titan sits back on his seat of the train, continuing to look at the window, and starts reminiscing about Umbriel. It’s the only thing he really feels like doing right now. He then leans his head to where he can see the train move over to a strange looking vortex. Before then, his life flashes back to several hours ago.



The day he set afoot on new land was also the same day where he lost Umbriel….


Titan was sheltered in his own house, with nothing much ado other than reading through a book he enjoys on an armchair. Since the end of the previous era of Pisces Planet’s Moon Warriors, Titan has been making himself more comfortable at home while attaining the company of some friends from his planet, including Umbriel from down below Bikini Bottom, courtesy of a transporter linked between the two worlds, as developed by Sandy Cheeks.


Staying behind in Pisces Planet also allowed for Titan to recollect his knowledge of Pisces Planet and its culture. Shortly before heading to the marketplace, he received a letter from the sovereignty of Pisces Planet, requesting him to meet with Umbriel who had just revisited the castle. After going inside the marketplace, he stocks on supplies and led himself to the Pisces kingdom. The first person he expected to be waiting at the front entrance was Umbriel.


“It’s nice to see you again, Titan!” Umbriel said.


“Hey, I was expecting to see you after I got this invitation!” Titan responded. “So what’s this all about?”


“I don’t mean to make you feel bothered by this, but I got some questions. You remember these people, don’t you?” Umbriel asked, referring to Yang, Yin, Kerberos, Phobos, and Deimos. “Did you also remember these people appointing us for something really special? Don’t tell me you haven’t forgotten about me either!”


“It’s all fine. You’re just worrying a little too much.”


“He doesn’t seem to be completely adjusted to his past memories, or even well-adjusted enough to apply for a position of power, but before we saved him, he was a hero,” says Kerberos, holding out a framed picture of the ten former Moon Warriors.


“What do you mean by position of power?” Titan asked Kerberos.

“You remember that disaster Makemake has caused to diminish most of our family members? Yang, Yin, and I were thinking about handing over you and Umbriel some royal privileges,” Kerberos explained. “However, we need to know if you’re ready and able to meet those standards.”


“I’ll admit, that’s going to take a lot of time,” Titan replied and faced Phobos and Deimos, two of which stood beside the emperor. “Did we battle those two guys several times? What are they doing here?” He asks.


“That I also need to bring up,” Kerberos continued. “These two have been recently accepted as baron and baroness!”


“We were protectors towards Kerberos, but we got over him,” said Deimos

“Uh-uh, the emperor’s completely cool with us,” Phobos added.


“Then I say congratulations!” Titan said as he shakes both their hands. “So does this mean you’re both married?”


“Nope, we hold our ranks in our own right,” Deimos replied.


“And you said that Umbriel could be part of this family, right?” Titan asked Kerberos.


“It could be a first for a non-Pisconarch to have a title,” Umbriel was saying. “Kerberos called us here to say that he gave us the opportunity to have a royal title, but he made it clear that we have to wait a few years, because I’ll have to be married in order to do that!”


At a time and commitment like this, Titan was still unsure whether or not to come in terms with a promise to become royalty.


“Married? Married to whom!?” Titan questioned.


“Who knows? You and I could find that special somebody,” said Umbriel. “Have you done that yet, Yin?”


“Don’t look at me, Yang hasn’t married someone either,” said Yin.


“I haven’t seen you crack a joke in a long while,” Yang added towards Yin and turns his head to face Titan. “I’m going to end all this marriage talk, and give you a gift.” Yang hands over to Titan a goldenrod tinted, plastic ticket.


“What’s the ticket for?” Titan asked.

“It’s a ticket that grants the authority to travel to any different universe,” Yang answered. “After you were able to patrol around Bikini Bottom for your own reasons, I figure you might be interested in going anywhere else where our planet rotates on, before you decide if you want to be part of the nobility.”


“There are a lot of different places other than Bikini Bottom that you don’t know of. It’s a risk to meddle with different worlds, and it could be troubling.” Yin added. “And you should never leave without that pass! Co-existing in a different world without approval is also troublesome!”


“Don’t worry about him, he’s got the ticket, and maybe sooner or later he’ll decide to travel elsewhere,” Yang said to Yin.


“Wow, you guys sure did really need me here today, is there anything else?” Titan questioned.


“I also need to show you something!” Umbriel spoke.


“Whats that, Umbriel?”


“It’s just a surprise. Don’t worry! I’m not getting marriage involved with it.”


Escorting Titan out of the kingdom, Umbriel walks out and left along with him elsewhere.



In a different world, taking a perspective of a humanoid male with a colored belt, he was seen somewhere along the Tijuca rainforest. This person was known to be Levi Bouldermore, and he was walking along a river bank to retrieve and rub water over his body. Suddenly, a group of cloaked martial fighters appeared atop a mountain below Levi – and he then spotted them starting to come nearer.


The 6 members of the group jumped to where Levi stood as Levi had himself prepared for a fight. Levi starts off with hitting one with his left elbow and giving another a low kick, which apparently missed. Levi then gets a series of upper-cut kicks from 3 members of the unidentified group. Levi continues to defend and grabs a foot of one of the fighters to toss around, only to be stopped from a couple of fighters twisting and striking him with a Bo. Levi kept on trying to fight them off, blocking a series of punches and kicks, now, but one kick draws him near the river bank. Trying to back away and continue to fight, Levi falls over and descends into the water.


For as long as he could, Levi held himself underwater to insure if the fighters lost sight of him. Levi saw himself struggling for air before he suddenly sees something that he didn’t expect: the area around him shifted into a white void. Levi opens up his mouth for breath once he realizes he wasn’t underwater.


In this void, Levi saw someone standing close to him. After seeing this imaginary figure once, Levi recognized him.


“Do you know why you’re here?” The individual asked.


“You, it’s you again…! You’re that “Dream Monk!”” Levi stated.


“Of course it is me, and I have once again given you a chance to speak once you were near-death,” the Dream Monk replied.


“So what you got to say to me now?” Levi asked.


“Believe it or not, I’m more than just your imagination. I can make your wildest dreams turn to reality!”


“That’s it? Come on, do you know about those guys who were attacking me? Who were they!?”


“That’s not relevant to why I called you here. Do you want witness the unimaginable?”


“Fine…then tell me exactly what you’re going to do to me that is so unimaginable.”


“I’m letting you escape the world you were in and allow you to take on something new for a change. It’s time for you….to journey into elsewhere!”


Levi felt himself floating in the same vein as the Dream Monk and saw as his hand was disintegrating into nothingness.


“I didn’t ask for this!” Levi exclaimed.


“Yes, but there are many different folk that need your help….”


The Dream Monk watches as he uses his spell to make Levi disappear, transporting him to another world.


Beside the river, the group of martial artists looked to see Levi was nowhere in sight, as a shadow appear near the middle of the crowd to pick up something Levi apparently left behind. It was his plastic, identification card for the academy….



In another separate universe, there was a sea sponge, known to be Strezz Stormond, taking a stroll around a place, somewhere far from Bikini Bottom and Shellside Shores. It was certainly a place he was unfamiliar with. In his current situation, Strezz saw himself walking around in a town filled with fog. As Strezz turned around, he came across another oddity. ….And it was focusing right at him.


Similar to the Z-Storm model he possesses that was concealed in his jacket, Strezz glanced at a large, iron serpent. Its skin was colored black, with red along his body and up to its tail. Strezz went wide-eyed when he saw the alive and ever-so tall figure.


“Who the hell are you?” Strezz asked.

“I know you’ll have a lot more questions to ask, but I’ll answer you this,” it said. “I am a spirit that connects to those who pilot Z-Storm.”

“Yep, that’s me…” Strezz said in a very nervous tone.


“I’ll also answer to you why I’m here,” the spirit said. “I want to tell you that your virtuous deeds lie in the hands of what is known as the multi-verse.”

“Uhhh…what is this multi-verse, and how am I destined to be a part of it?”


“You’ll figure out those answers once you’re taken there…”


Before Strezz would continue to speak, the metallic dragon raises its wings.


“Hold on, I need to know if you can help get me back to Shellside Shores!” Strezz exclaimed. “I got separated from the island after getting struck by a typhoon, and now I need to get back to my friends over there!”


“Sadly, I can’t help you with that….” The spirit concludes.


The spirit then churns up a strong whirlwind around Strezz. The gusts were strong enough to carry away Strezz’s jacket, turn the fogged up town into a shining white void, and give Strezz a flash, zapping him right out of his world. Thereafter, the spirit disappears and the background returns with the town of fog. Strezzs Z-Storm jacket was left behind.


Suddenly, a shadow appears right in front of the jacket….



In yet another universe shows a red sea dragon, he of which is named Koamalu. He was walking along a beach and stopped at his tracks when he notices something sticking out in the sand. It was mythical looking orb combined with a stick. Surely, he didn’t know what it was.


Koamalu picks it up and ponders.

“This looks unusual, even in a place like this,” Koamalu says to himself. I could only wonder what this staff is used for. It could be a staff that can cast spells, but there’s one way I can figure that out. But how do I use it?


Koamalu gives the staff a shake and he notices a spark of magic being lit. He shakes it some more and gets more of a pulse of energy, before it fades out.


“It works…but I guess I’ll have to get into my headspace if I could cast some spell,” said Koamalu. Maybe this thing will let me warp to a different area around Bikini Bottom…..or to another world! Alright, let’s test this thing out again….


With some more thought put into it, Koamalu released more energy from the staff. Koamalu can now see himself glowing. Focusing on the magic surrounding him, he let go of the staff and eventually disappeared in a flash of purple and pink.


Another shadow appeared and was near the staff Koamalu dropped.



In another universe, a couple (male and female) was running around the inside of an unspecified building, with an army of guards dressed in white on their trail. The two are running to escape.


“We’re in trouble,” said the female individual.


“Just keep following along my path, do you know why we’re doing this?” The male said towards the other.


“Of course I do. Also, you want freedom from this world a lot more than I do,” she replied.


“We got to keep running until we find where these guys keep a portal,” he replied.


Along the hallway, from room to room, the couple approaches a room that had a portal displayed in the middle. After the male tweaks around with the mechanics, he got the vortex to activate.


“We don’t even know where this leads us when we jump into it!” The girl said towards the other.


“Wherever it leads to, we’ll be safer there – and out of this hellhole,” he responded.


With that, the couple leapt into the vortex and they disappeared. Once as the guards approached the room, they noticed the portal malfunctioning before falling apart.



Back at Pisces Planet, Umbriel took Titan someplace special. They were in a spot in Pisces Planet held for people to watch a series of lights soaring through space.


“So, what’s the surprise, Umbriel?” Titan asked.


“I just wanted for us to relax out here and watch this meteor shower,” Umbriel answered. “Doesn’t that sound good?”


“Of course I will watch it with you!” Titan said and sits by the summit with Umbriel. “You know, you’ve told me a lot about yourself, and you even described yourself as hot-tempered. These days you’re acting a lot softer and in control of your feelings.”


“I guess you can say that, I’ve been a lot softer since the Moon Warriors, including me, reincarnated you as an embodiment of the zodiac,” Umbriel replied. “Before the day is over and I have to go back to my grandparents, there’s one thing I need to tell you.”


“What’s that?”


“It’s hard to explain, but the original Titan....he developed a crush on me and admitted it before he sacrificed himself, and because of that, I wasn’t able to return my feelings. I loved him. Even if you are a different kind of Titan, I love you. Now that I told you that, I was wondering if you feel the same way right now.”


“Well…you’ve been there for me pretty often since then…” Titan was trying to think of what to say to Umbriel. “You’ve helped me get used to some things in this planet. Umbriel….I think I love you too-“


Suddenly, a rumble occurred across the planet and it caught the attention of Titan and Umbriel. They stood as they wondered what was causing this noise.


“Is this a moonquake?” Umbriel said to herself.


Titan wandered around as he witness the planet’s gravity slowly fading away, seeing his and Umbriel’s feet above-ground. Facing another direction, he sees a series of asteroids coming close to them.

“We need to get out of here!” Titan exclaimed.


Titan held onto Umbriel as they float and soar around the galaxy, avoiding the asteroids across their path. Eventually, Umbriel ends up getting slammed and stuck one of the asteroid chunks. Titan saw as Umbriel was struggling to move forward as the weight of the asteroid sent Umbriel floating down into Earth’s gravity, bringing her to the surface. Titan expressed a look of devastation and tried to reach for Umbriel, but unfortunately gets caught by another one of the asteroids, weighting him down and causing him to head for the Earth’s surface. Titan was sent flying down and crumbled part of the ground in due to the impact of the fall.


At the summit, damaged by asteroids, a shadow appears near the ticket Titan somehow left behind.



During the night, from where he fell and landed, Titan was wide awake when he saw an alicorn checking up on him. When the equine noticed that he had woken up, it held out a hoof, gesturing for him to get up.


“I never thought I’d see anything like this! It’s a good thing you are awake!” The alicorn said.


“Ugh, who are you? What are you?” Titan questioned.


“What are you, what is your name, and where did you even come from?” The alicorn continued before greeting to him, “My name is Princess Luna, by the way.”


“My name is Titan, I’m a Pisconarch, and well….I came from my home planet, which is up from above there,” he said, trying to point to where the moon might be. “Now you see, the last time I was in Pisces Planet, there was a moonquake, and then the planet was losing its gravity for some reason. I was with someone and her name is Umbriel. We got ourselves caught in an asteroid coast that came towards us, but unfortunately, Umbriel drifted off somewhere and I need to find her. Have you seen someone named Umbriel?”


“That sounds dreadful,” says Princess Luna. “It’s sad for me to say this, but I haven’t seen a person named Umbriel.”


Titan frowned after hearing the alicorn’s words, but continued to try and communicate with her, then asking, “So where am I anyway?”


“This is Equestria, home to many ponies such as me,” Luna explained as she was showing some things around to Titan.

“I just remembered that I have a ticket to permit myself into any universe, but don’t worry, I won’t do any sort of meddling,” Titan was digging through his pockets only to realize that his ticket was missing. “It’s gone!” He said to himself.


“Can I see that ticket?” Luna asked.

“I don’t have it with me….I did have it, but it seemed to have slipped from one of my pockets,” said Titan.


“I see….” Luna said softly. “I do enjoy your company and honesty. I’ll try to find a way for us to sort this thing out.”


“One more question, do you know what happened to my planet from where you were?”


“First off, let me tell you about the moon that shines the night over Equestria. It is my job to raise it. But suddenly, just about two hours ago, after I raised the moon, the moon shifted closer to the atmosphere, which means some of the moon’s gravity has been removed!”


“Is there anything that could be done about it?”


“I could assume that some particles of energy from the moon had been scattered. Do you think you can help?”


“I sure can, if you’re fine with me staying here. These particles are around here right?”


“Actually, I don’t mean that you could stay here, but I’ll allow for somepony to accompany you, and I know whom.”


Princess Luna then called out a pony at her side to be introduced to Titan. She happily greeted the Pisconarch when she appeared.


“Hello there!” Titan greeted. “Do you have a name?”

“She is Lotus Petals. She will be able to track down some loose particles of energy from the moon,” said Luna.


“Right, you can count on me and I’ll be your side anytime!” Lotus Petals said. Turning over to Luna, she questions her, “So where do we start?”


Princess Luna was silent for a moment and then said, “Titan, Lotus Petals, come with me. I’ll take you to the train station where you’ll take a train towards your intended destination.”



While heading over to the train station in Equestria, Princess Luna got herself having a chat with Titan and Lotus Petals.


“So you have a sister who raises the sun?” Titan asked Luna.


“Oh yes, that’s Celestia! I can’t introduce you to her now, but you should meet her one day!” Luna responded.


At that point of the conversation, Luna then notices the train station nearby and leads Titan and Lotus Petals over towards it.


“There you guys are. Make yourselves comfortable and good luck on your journey!” Luna finished and left the two to enter inside the train.


As Titan and Lotus Petals stepped onto the train to take a seat, they saw five different figures, all of which had been transported to Equestria from a different cause. One of them, Koamalu, gave a friendly wave as Titan and Lotus Petal sat to the left of the train while the others were at the right.


Titan glances back at the group and says to them, “Are you guys from here too?”


“Nope,” the five answered collectively.


“What a coincidence! I’m not originally from here either,” Titan replied. “Anyways, my name is Titan and this pony next to me is Lotus Petals. What are your names?”


“That’s none of your own business,” a male said in response.


“Oh don’t be so cruel, he’s a friendly little stranger,” the female next to him said. “My name is Caerulea.”


“I’m Strezz,” the sea sponge introduced.


“My name is Koamalu,” the red sea dragon greeted.


“I’m Levi,” the spiky-haired humanoid said.


The other humanoid male was still hesitant, but sighed and then stated, “I guess I’ll say it right now. I’m Gauzensy.”


Titan looked nervous, considering that he was trying to think of how to negotiate with folk from other universes. “So, how is it like from you guys are from?” He questioned.


“You wouldn’t want to know,” said Gauzensy.


“It’s fine in my world, but now I’m stuck here and I never really intended to be here. I have some friends that I need to get to!” Strezz responded.


“It’s been swell living where I usually am, but I ended up here by accident!” Koamalu said. “I saw a staff sticking out in the sand and used it to transport myself here, but now I don’t have it.”


“Looks like we all got one thing in common, we turned up here for our own reasons,” Levi remarked. “Also, from what I noticed, I don’t seem to have my academy ID.”


“I lost my jacket before I got here,” Strezz added. “And that was the only thing I had that was useful!”


“Excuse me for asking something like this, but do any of you happen to know Umbriel?” Titan asked the group. No one answered. “You see, there’s this girl that I know that I’ve met in Bikini Bottom. In my home planet, she has been keeping me company, but something happened…and I lost her. That and my ticket, to authorize myself within other worlds, just disappeared.”


“Bikini Bottom,” said Caerulea, “for a name of a place like that, that doesn’t sound so pleasant.”


“Did you just say Bikini Bottom?” Strezz asked.


“I’ve been to Bikini Bottom before! I never thought you’d been there too,” Koamalu remarked.


“Wow, that’s another coincidence for ya’!” Lotus Petals said to Titan.


“It’s nice just to get to know you guys,” said Titan. “If this means going on a journey, then it means that I will not rest until I find Umbriel and get those moon particles Luna was talking about!”


“Just so you know, I’m not here for an adventure. Caerulea and I are going to seek different universes for our own reasons,” said Gauzensy.


“Half of the time, I’m just by Gauzensy’s side,” Caerulea added.


“I can see the train heading for that vortex,” said Titan, peering over the window. “I wonder what that leads us to.”


“We’ll just have to wait and see…” said Lotus Petals.


As the train touched the vortex, Titan and co. have disappeared from Equestria and were about to find themselves inside another realm.


There are a variety of reasons as to why I've abandoned this as the series' first real episode. First of all, this was written back in 2015 and the more that I've delayed any forthcoming episodes for this project, the more that my original vision for it had changed. Second, considering that I really want OotC to turn out something truly great as a swan song for my fanfiction writing career, I need to be very satisfied with the end product for each segment. I wasn't all that satisfied with how this turned out, which is why I am considering this as a mere test pilot. Third, I wrote this episode all while I still had a workload that I still need to get through. I originally intended to continue off from this episode after I finished Z-Storm, Sub Tropical Academy, and Tiki Land...and because I've been slacking off on each of these works, I've delayed this project long until I decided to scrap my original concept for the series and what I've written for the first episode altogether. I now have a very good idea of how the story to OotC will pan out, but just so you all know, if I were to start officially writing for this project, I will have to finish Sub Tropical Academy, Tiki Land, and Rebirth of a Storm before then.

Finally, I'd just like to point that there's quite a lot from this original draft for the first episode that I'm going to go back and change. Here's a well thought out list of things that we be changed or improved once the real first episode of OotC comes out:

-Steel Sponge Productions will not be a thing, or rather retroactively cease to exist. It's best to acknowledge my spin-offs as a part of a universe of my own than to acknowledge them as a part of a production company. That and the SSP name itself feels too much like a smug reminder that the particular series is my creation and no one else's name is attached to it in some way. You can thank Dark Side of the Herd for making me come to that kind of realization.
-The opening sequence will be a lot different, from the monologue to the song of choice to the events displayed in the narrative.
-In fact, the plot setup will be a lot different compared to this original draft. That will be explained more as soon as I announce more news regarding OotC.
-Phobos and Deimos will be knighted by a different kind of rank that would make much more sense than baron and baroness since I have pretty much written both characters to be siblings. The original draft does acknowledge that they are baron and baroness on their own terms, but still...
-Considering how very infeasible it feels for an alien who, despite physically being a teenager, is 15,000 to consider starting a relationship with someone who is 16 at the start of the story, the focus of Titan and Umbriel's character relationship will not be mutual.
-Levi, Strezz, and Koamalu's situations before ending up outside their own universes will be very different. On top of that, the epilogue for the respective spin-offs that each of the characters star in will bring their incidents into more detail before the first episode is officially revised.
-While I'm still on the topic of Strezz, the Rebirth version of his character will take the place of the Z-Storm version of his character in the real first episode.
-Gauzensy and Caerulea's situations will be slightly different and will also possibly be more detailed.
-The series' main cast will all not land in Equestria. Again, this will be clarified once I announce more news regarding OotC.
-While the idea won't be completely abandoned for the final product, the original premise of the characters crossing over to various non-spin-off/lit worlds is scrapped. Again, this will be explained further later on.
-Curiously, the test pilot didn't have its own episode title (or at least it had one before I had to end up re-posting the episode after the December 2015 wipeout). That will very much be fixed for the final product.

So yeah, I would consider this original draft for the first episode of OotC a glimpse at what the project could look like while you all wait for the real thing. I can't say when, but at the rate that I'm currently in, it'll take a while before I can officially release OotC.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

18. The Scrap Heap (Part 4)

I originally made three parts to this...but as it turns out, I have more shelved/unused ideas to unveil. So, here's everything else that I had left undone:


This idea for a Lit was perceived just literally hours after the incident that killed tv.com's momentum in July 2010. You can definitely tell that this is from 2010 when you look at the two short summaries that I've written for it (although the second one is actually from 2011...):

TV.com: a brilliant, magnificant [sic; bold start right there] forum of viewing your dreams fantasies come to life. Until one forum was attacked! Hundreds, thousands of Spongebob fans banned by the lurker from the deepest of all oceans: WhaleBlubber! *cue maniacal laugh* Can one separate group of n00bs, and regular members succeed into stopping this madness? TV.com...rated PG, coming-when-Steel-Sponge-has-enough-time.

Plot Reveal #1 ('cause the first one didn't even count, apparently):

Many years later(of course), a mother gives birth to WhaleBlubber. When WhaleBlubber turned 7, he became fascinated with the works of Bill Gates and studied him. Now 17, in circa 2005, he joined TV.com as a good fellow. Many things changed when he got bad news: his brother died. He feasts on revenge.

This would've been an epic(!) retelling of the history of the SB forums on tv.com. I scrapped this concept because I never had given myself the time to start writing for it and because I lost interest in it, which was a very, very good decision on my part for a variety of reasons. First, if I had actually written it during these olden times, it would've been, to say the least, no better than Dark Side of the Herd. Second, this would've been especially embarrassing to look past since I would've written this over a grudge I've had against a website that I wouldn't have had fondest memories towards later in life. Finally, when I revealed more about the plot, I already killed the hype for what could've been an interesting enough concept when I only made it look like it will be an incredibly cheap jab against WhaleBlubber, a former internet troll who clearly shouldn't be taken as seriously, and nothing much else.

Cheryl's Lights

This was an idea for a spin-off that just came out of nowhere. I don't remember how exactly I came up with it, but I could vaguely remember it was through a little nostalgic trip back to Charlotte's Web. I don't remember the names of the characters I would've written for it and I don't remember how this would've correlated with the SB universe since almost every mention of Cheryl's Lights has been erased after I scrapped the idea. All I've remembered is that this idea would simply take a lot from Charlotte's Web and then bring it into the SB universe. In an additional, and more interesting note, this would've taken S.P.O.N.G.E.B.O.B.'s spot as one of my next spin-off projects until I came up with that one, better idea for a spin-off.

Atlantis SquarePantis: The Extended Edition

This was conceived at a time where I still really like this special. I sought to make an improved version of it after one too many times I've had to deal with it being considered as objectively the worst SB episode. Before I scrapped it, I provided a short list of things that would've been present in my version of the special:

>More dialogue

>The songs will be longer (and will keep its rhythm)

>No Patchy scenes, apparently

>A hint of dramatic Latin chanting/choir (I don't know what got into my mind when I thought about this)

>Funny jokes, if you can laugh at them.

Untitled Total Drama story

Now here's one idea that I left unannounced. The idea for this first came to me all the way back in 2015 while The Ridonculous Race was airing. I abandoned the idea shortly after before I decided to dig it back up during my TD nostalgia phase in 2018. Even after I was feeling invested in it, I ultimately decided, once again, to abandon it shortly afterward. This was primarily because I could never trust myself to muster up the time to write up all twenty episodes I've planned for it, along with accurately writing and establishing 20+ characters including Chris and Chef.

For all of those who are curious on how this could've panned out, here are a list of details to share about it:


-This fan season of Total Drama would revolve around Chris reuniting most of the lowest performing contestants, as well as those who haven't had the spotlight for such a while (i.e. Justin and Trent).
-The theme of the season would center on the contestants navigating through island after island to retrieve treasure for Chris. The season would start with the contestants being split into two teams, forming a pirate crew, and sailing their own vessel.
-The fan season would reuse the team captains gimmick from Action, with Eva and Topher becoming a captain for their respective teams. (However, Topher would end up being eliminated before the merge and the team members would then decide to elect Sammy/"Samey" as the new captain)
-The merge would begin with the final 9 and will reuse the shared immunity gimmick from World Tour.
-The first time I conceived this idea, Noah was originally part of the cast. However, for my newer incarnation, I've decided that it would be mentioned that Noah would have started his career in participating in other reality shows along with Owen at the time of this fan season, so that his hands were too full to become a contestant.
-Ezekiel would make his return as a legitimate contestant after Dawn's spiritual energy causes for him to lose most of his feral state. Afterwards, he would make it far until the merge after starting a friendship with Dawn.
-At least four contestants would end up being eliminated by forfeit. Those being Justin, Ella, Ezekiel, and Brick.
-One contestant would be evacuated from the competition in due to injuries, that being Trent.
-The final two would've been, no joke, Katie and Sadie. I had also originally planned this the first time I've had this idea. My plan to make them the final two stemmed from the fact that most TD fanfiction writers wouldn't dare to establish them enough to make it further than they didn't or let alone even reach the finale. Letting them each play a major role in this project would've been a challenge that I would be so willing to take if I had decided to fully invest in writing it.
-Scarlett would sneak her way into the competition under the guise as Blaineley until her exposure, leading to her to become the first competitor eliminated.


And that should be it for the spin-offs/lits that never were. There should still be more to explore from the scrap pile, and that should be ideas for my actual works that were left in the cutting room floor.

Edited by Steel Sponge
Link to comment
Share on other sites

19. Scrapped Spin-Off Ideas

After going on about the spin-offs/lits of mine that never were, I'm now going to be focusing on the spin-offs that were by going through some of the ideas I've had for them, but never got conceptualized.

Pisces Moon:
-The main heir to the Pisces Planet kingdom, Kerberos (who was unnamed at the start of the series) was originally planned to be the main antagonist of the spin-off. As my vision for each one of my works kept changing overtime, I decided to create another character to take that place to avoid the old fashioned evil overlord cliche in favor of only the slightly less cliched evil mole turned overlord character archetype.
-Lee's original name was Brad to coincide with Umbriel's typically named friend, Candy. For the same reason as the above in which I intended to avoid cliches, I decided to name him Lee, after a part of the lengthened version of the original name: Bradley.
-While I'm still on the topic of Lee, his backstory was originally going to be explored in-depth in this spin-off. At the time I was to set up his backstory, Pisces Moon was nearing its end and I was mainly focusing on writing the fight scenes, elaborating more on the history of Pisces Planet, Makemake's intentions, and a slew of other things including a part of Pisces Planet's history with supernatural abilities, its ancestors, and the embodiments for each of the zodiac planets other than Pisces. I was already preoccupied with establishing all these points, and so my plan to develop more of Lee's character through a backstory ended up getting buried in my mind. However, Lee's backstory will soon be elaborated at some point for Oracle of the Cosmos.

-Quite like a few other spin-offs of mine, Z-Storm would've been a longer series. I originally planned for it to have two seasons with 26 episodes for each one. That was until I decided to cut the series' episode count in half so I wouldn't feel so stressed about giving myself a bigger workload than I felt that I needed, all while staying true to the two season format. And of course, that was until I decided to just discontinue the spin-off for a new and largely improved version of the story.
-I had written episode title concepts for the originally 52 episode series, but of course it no longer exists since it was all written on paper and eventually thrown away. However, three unused episode titles have been preserved, those being "Evil Eye," "It's a Typhoon, Typhoon!", and "Cam's Past." Other than those three titles, I also remember very well conceiving "Long Lost Sal" as another one of the series' episode titles.

Guru Gakuto:
-Guru Gakuto was originally planned to be a 26 episode series before I eventually decided to condense it to 20. Within the depths of the Spin-Off/Lit news announcement thread, there exists a generous amount of unused episode titles:
13. Their Diamonds (Original episode title for "Lament")
14. Nutcracker Suite
16. The Scribble Seven
17. Long Time, No See
18. Amaze-zon Race
19. Finders Keepers
20. King Horacio
21. Frozen in Time
22. 50 Strokes of Black and White
23. Wrong Kong
24. Fantasia 2022: Doodle Madness
25. The Social-Television Network
-Among the originally announced full series episode titles, "Wisdom, Justice, and Love," and "Doodle Madness (albeit the Fantasia 2022 part)" ended up being used for the final product. As it should be pretty telling by these titles, I originally didn't have a very specific direction for Guru Gakuto and I was writing based on the ideas that I would form, which was why some bits of the series felt cluttered and pretty embarrassing to me looking back, admittedly.
-Some originally conceived plot outlines for this spin-off include Kaan dying at the hands of DoodleBob, Horace, and their organization before being revived by Gakuto's seven revived kids with a Pebble of Life and an artificial body. "Long Time, No See" would probably of course been the episode where the seven main characters meet up with Savannah and Jordan again.
-Jordan was originally named Justin until I decided to rename him during the last few bits of the series. IIRC, Jordan's original name is still intact in the S1 episodes he was in though. On top of that, Jordan and Kaiden were originally going to keep playing an antagonistic role during S2.
-Also, according to one announcement I made at one point, S2 would've originally had "Impossible" as its subtitle.

Underwater Survivor: SBC Style:
-I've already let loose some original concepts about UWS in a Q&A thread for my spin-off club, but I do have some more information to share. Anyways, to start things off, for the thirteenth epsiode of UWS S1, I originally intended for both PokeSponge and Queen Malie to get eliminated instead of Dragiiin, but I changed their elimination spots after Jjs decided to take the reins in guest writing the episode and have Dragiiin eliminated through one of Sbs1fan's ruses.
-4EverGreen was originally intended to be "the Heather of the season" until I decided it was not a good fit for his portrayal to be as such. It was also because I had planned for Algae to end up like TDWT's Team Victory. So, for a few episodes, I've had Captain52 fill in the Heather role until I decided that Sbs1fan would serve as a main antagonist before having Captain return as the final boss.
-The original theme for S2 was actually very different from the final product. To reiterate what I said in the Q&A thread, The special for S1 had an It's a Mad (x4) World / Total Drama (x4) Island type of storyline, but it also had that weird plot element where some members would touch the briefcase that would transport them to an unspecified place. It was pretty out of place when I left that plot element in the special, but it could've made sense if I went along with my first idea of a theme for S2. Instead of the set of Legends of the Hidden Temple, all the unaffected members could've been taken into space and the transported members would be taken into random locations. The first few episodes would've revolved around finding the missing members, and they would either assist Jjs with the challenges or they would just be assigned to the peanut gallery, but most importantly, the theme for S2 could've been similar to Star Trek. I pretty much abandoned that idea since I've gotten a newer idea that I thought would be better suited for UWS...and because I never seen anything of Star Trek in full and realized that I was better off with something that I was more familiar with, so thus Legends of the Hidden Temple became the theme for S2. Also, iirc, I conceived the original idea before the Hawk-formerly-known-as-ACS first came to SBC.
-RaeAndAnasRock was planned to last until the first merge challenge and MadameCat was planned to last until the alien hunting challenge before my guilt from continuing to write irrelevant TV.com members made me decide to eliminate her right after RAAR, write off both their portrayals completely, and then introduce a pair of OCs (which give you the idea that I could've also focused more on Goosey and Nathan's roles, but once again, the guilt that I faced in 2013 ate me alive, so I also wrote off their portrayals to leave room for an OC's role as the main antagonist of the season) that would end up being Malelimin and the original Hidden Underwater Triad. Then of course, I decided to write each of them off after the end of S2 when I realized how very out-of-place they felt in the series.
-While S2 was early in development, I had also already conceived some ideas for S3. At the time, I had no specific theme other than that it would return to the original S1 roots. Other than that, I had originally planned for SpongeSebastian and MadameCat to return. For reasons already clear, MC was shelved from the S3 cast while SpongeSebastian's dwindling activity gave me less of a reason to have him in the S3 cast.
-While S3 was in the production stages, JCM,  Fa, WWESpongefan, Supergameman28 were originally considered for the S3 cast with JCM as a member of Team Legendary and the latter three being members of Team Calamity respectively until Jjs suggested that I should condense the cast as he felt that 28 contestants felt a little too bloated for the season. This was very good advice, especially once you compare the constestant size for Waterfall and 4EverGreen's Total Cartoon Global Cruise (absolutely no offense to 4EG btw). With Fa in the peanut gallery and WWE & SGM28 playing very small roles on UWS, JCM would eventually become S3's main Aftermath co-host.
-While Jjs and I were reorganizing the cast of contestants for S3, PatBack would've originally had a spot as a member of Team Calamity. Jjs had also suggested for each team to have a captain, akin to the previous two seasons with OMJ,  terminoob, Clappy, and Cha being considered as captains for Calamity, Legendary, Maelstrom, and Valkyrie respectively.
-Before I decided to condense the quantity of S3's contestants, I had originally planned to have no Aftermath episodes for S3 and have one sole episode focusing on the peanut gallery.
-I also originally planned for S3 to be four episodes shorter than the previous two seasons, with almost every episode except the first ep and the PG ep dealing with an elimination. On top of that, one episode was outlined to have a triple elimination.
-Sand Stadium and the Poseidome were originally conceived as some of the SB locations for S3 while Channel Awesome, Google, Dramatic Static, and Memebase (yes, Memebase) were originally conceived for some of the Social Networking challenges.

-This spin-off miniseries was originally planned to have at least two seasons with around 26 episodes. "Determination," the series' subtitle, would've been only the subtitle for the first season. I had also unveiled episode titles for the full first season, but since it was presumably posted on a version of SBC that is now obsolete, it's safe to say that those titles are lost in the fire.

Sub-Tropical Academy:
-This spin-off's original episode count was narrowed down the more that I had slept on it. It went from being originally a 39 episode three season series, to a 26 episode two season series, and to, finally, a 13 episode series with only one season.

Tiki Land:
-Concept wise, very little about Tiki Land has changed overtime, but production-wise, this spin-off series started off as a collaboration project between me, Wumbo, teenj12, CNF1, and Box. Box would end up losing his spot in due to his feud with Nuggets to Sabre, but due to each of these members eventually becoming too busy with their personal lives and due to me taking my sweet time with developing this spin-off, Tiki Land ultimately became another one of my solo projects.

Red Flag Savior: Rebirth of a Storm:
-Very little has changed as well as for this spin-off during its writing process, but there were some unused ideas for it. First things first, Kinuyo was originally named Blair and her supernatural powers were originally sourced from her eyes.
-Deacon, one of Seymour's bodyguards who works alongside Kinuyo during the fight, was originally named Hilliard.
-Nike, the youngest of Seymour's bodyguards who will eventually serve a major role later in the story, was originally planned to be a young male named Sprig. Interestingly enough, Sprig was derived from the name the main character from Butch Hartman's failed Crash Nebula pilot, while also being a pun on "sprint." Because this was conceived during a controversial moment in Butch's career, Sprig was scrapped, but the concept regarding the powers of his jacket was kept. Additionally, before reinventing his character, I had renamed him to Ewan at one point.

There may be more to what I left in the cutting room floor, but for now, this is all that I have to share.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pokemon Sword and Shield drama; it sucks. But you want to know what really does suck? When it’s been years since the last game in the series of one of your other favorite Pokemon games and you’re still waiting for another game that’s of its type, I’d tell you. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then let me paint a picture here: there’s always that particular Pokemon game that’s been on our minds. A Pokemon-related game so good, yet also underrated in its own right. We all have different ideas of what’s one of the most underrated Pokemon games, but do you know what I mean when I talk about underrated Pokemon games? Yeah, you know what I’m talking about… (*flashes images of PMD, Stadium, Battle Revolution, PokePark, and Rumble*) Pokemon Colosseum.


20. How I Would Write a New Pokemon Colosseum/XD Game

Yes, I am talking about Pokemon Colosseum, and to a larger extent, its sequel, Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness. Since XD’s release in 2005, it’s been 14 years since this small spin-off had made its return, and I’ve still been waiting for this type of game to return in its traditional form. As much as I hate to admit it myself, there may not ever be another Colosseum/XD game anytime soon, but at least in the midst of this whole SWSH drama, the fact that these recent games have been drawing parallels to the games to the point of acknowledgment from the fans is one thing that I’m glad to see. More acknowledgment means more demand for another C/XD type game, although I should be aware that there’s been more demand for another Stadium game for a longer time. So, while I have to face the facts that there is no new C/XD game anywhere in sight, there’s one thing I can do about it…by making my own C/XD game.

…Okay, so I’m not going to do that since I obviously don’t have the experience, and even if I did, I know it’s going to be hit hard by Nintendo’s lawyers. I will at least write about my own vision of a C/XD sequel. This will contain some of my own fresh ideas for a new C/XD game, so I assure you all that this will not try to feel like a retread to the original two games.


1. The Story and Characters

Now, my story to this game doesn’t start where XD left off with Ardos devising plans to reconstruct Cipher. It actually starts in another region that is connected west from Orre. In other words, this region, which I will refer to as “Ande,” is based on my own home state of California since Orre was based on Arizona.

The story takes places 3 years after XD. Before the imminent change of events, it has been that long since a sighting of Shadow Pokemon. The destruction of Cipher after Greevil’s defeat has allowed for Orre to issue a law that would immediately pass, the law in question bans illegal experimentation on Pokemon, with police across the board seeking to apprehend anyone who intends to reverse engineer Shadow Pokemon research and launch another SP outbreak. Despite the empty presence of Shadow Pokemon, the Ande region has started an organization meant to combat against the problem if it were to happen again; an organization known as The Pokemon Purification Agency (PPA). There, six trainers meet the ranks of becoming part of the group’s Shadow Pokemon purification squad.

Then finally, that’s where you, the player/player character, come in. You’ve just completed your training to be able to join five other young trainers in that position. Contrary to the original two games, you’re available to an additional gender option, as well as skin tone options, the latter having been present since Gen 6. Since the two games have been simplistic when it comes to their placeholder player character names (Wes and Michael), let’s continue this tradition with the playable characters. Let’s call them…I don’t know, Shawn and Hannah. Anyways, you’ve now just become part of the squad. You get your own snag machine, your own PDA, you get your typical Pokemon Trainer supplies, and as well as other PPA gadgets to help you in your quest to catch and purify Shadow Pokemon.

Because the two games tend to be creative or punny when it comes to its NPC names, the rest of the names that I’m going to be providing here are going to be of the like. Anyways, working alongside you in the squadron include Oneo, whose partner Riolu uses its aura reading abilities to detect Shadow Pokemon, Twotie, whose partner Spritzee uses its irresistible scent to get the attention of Shadow Pokemon and as well as their Trainers, Threetus, whose partner Magnemite emits sound pulses to receive a wavelength that is coming from Shadow Pokemon, Fourell, whose partner Spinarak examines Trainer battles in secret to seek suspicious fighting styles known to Shadow Pokemon before preventing the particular Pokemon and its Trainer from escaping with its spider webs, and lastly, Fivevia, whose partner Numel detects Shadow Pokemon through sensing their vibrations on the ground. Then there’s you as the player character, with your partner Rockruff, who tracks down Shadow Pokemon with its sense of smell.

Oneo serves as your feisty best friend. Twotie is the comforting and quiet one of the group. Threetus is the squad’s typical yet very polite nerd and battling expert. Fourell is the serious and logical member. Lastly, Fivevia serves as the big sister figure to the player character and shows the most affection towards Pokemon, especially when it comes to her partner, Numel.

Days after becoming a member of the purification squad, the agency is alerted with an anonymous video message from an uncharted land known as Aura Island. The mysterious adversary announces that they have found their own way of turning Pokemon into Shadow Pokemon, that they have produced them in vast numbers, and that they have sent them all across the Ande region. This prompts for you and your fellow squad members to dispatch to the nearest location with the presence of Shadow Pokemon before you’re enlisted to take care most of the job in capturing Shadow Pokemon roaming around the region.

Along the journey, there are four forces trying to stop you on your quest. There will be two villainous teams you’ll come across with the first being Team Void, who are following in the footsteps of Cipher, planning to use the sudden outbreak of Shadow Pokemon to their advantage and expand on their research on being able to produce more of them. The second is Team Silhouette, who plans to enforce regulations in protecting and advocating usage of Shadow Pokemon. Void’s leader is an adult man named Vicegor, a knowledge seeker on the Pokemon and an ex-breeder. Silhouette’s leader, Glirus, is around the player character’s age and is an ex-colosseum champion who was banned for cheating in his matches by enhancing his Pokemon, although not through means of turning them into Shadow Pokemon. Then there is a Pokemon hunter named…well…let’s call him Poatch (none of these OC names of mine would be final btw). Poatch curiously has his own snag machine and can use it to try and catch one of your own party members and temporarily turn them against you (this mechanic is going to be hard for me to explain). Finally, and because I can’t seriously forget him….there’s Miror B. He’s back again and about time too. And this time, he’s in the mood. (okay, he was always in the mood but you get my point) Miror B continues his own quest, along with Folly and Trudly, wandering around regions to find abnormally strong Pokemon. After hearing about the sudden outbreak of Shadow Pokemon in the Ande region, he and his team settle there before confronting the protagonist.

When reports of the Pokemon Purification Agency trying to stop the outbreak reach the ears of the two leaders of their group, Vicegor enforces his Void peons to settle in certain locations to try and defeat the protagonist while Glirus has five of his admins try to defeat the protagonist after each phase. Further into the game, the protagonist gets closer into conquering Void to the point where you reach their base before the fifth Silhouette admin’s fight. There, you are able to battle Vicegor himself. After his defeat, Vicegor ultimately decides to disband Void, leaving Silhouette to be taken care of next. The protagonist is then tasked to infiltrate Silhouette’s base to eventually face off against Glirus.

The first part of the game ends with Glirus’s defeat and Silhouette’s disbandment while the post-game begins with the leader of the Pokemon Purification Agency reporting the squad about an unknown area in the middle of the ocean far from Ande being shrouded in a deep black aura, that of course being Aura Island. The leader also reports to the protagonist that there are still a select few (or several, depending on your progress) Shadow Pokemon within the Andes region that need to be caught and purified. In addition, while focusing on the main task of finding and then thwarting the mysterious adversary, the agency’s leader then also tasks the protagonist to travel to the Orre region and talk to certain folk to help with his plan to build a laser beam of light (which requires energy from 100 purified Pokemon) to shine into Aura Island and make for a safe travel so that the protagonist can finish the job before the unknown mastermind unleashes their next and final step of their plan of a Shadow Pokemon uprising.

After catching all of the Shadow Pokemon in Ande, the moment would finally come for the protagonist to travel to Aura Island and confront the mastermind known as Flourisho. His intentions are unveiled before his fight, as he is revealed to have had a team of six Cipher-produced Shadow Pokemon kept under his wing. He lived amongst the Shadow Pokemon before becoming corrupted like them. His bond for his corrupted Pokemon grew strong enough for them to become pure Shadow Pokemon naturally. He challenges the protagonist with a pure, ultimate Shadow Pokemon of his own. After catching the Pokemon, Flourisho continues his fight against the protagonist with his full, original team of Shadow Pokemon. With Flourisho defeated and all of his Shadow Pokemon captured, the protagonist is urged to escape Aura Island while the crumbling darkness consumes Flourisho and the whole island before completely dissipating, ending the second and final part of the story, but it’s not until after purifying all the Shadow Pokemon that unlocks the true and final ending of the game. That I will leave for you guys to imagine what that will look like.


2.1. Mechanics/Features: Snagging

So now that I’ve delivered the synopsis to my own vision of a Colosseum/XD sequel game, it’s now time that I tell you guys how I would write its mechanics and features. While this follows some of the traditional elements from the original two games, I also have several new concepts to share for this personal sequel.

I’m going to get the most important things out of the way first. The battling style for this game is varied. Most of the battles would be singular, but some will contain double, triple, rotation, and even inverse battles.

Outside of Orre, there are at least 30 areas in the game to explore that are within the Ande region. There are seven areas that are exclusively boss battle areas, with six of them being the five Silhouette admin and Silhouette leader fights. The other boss area, while being larger than the other five boss areas, is Aura Island. At least six areas are the Pokespots while the rest are the primary Shadow Pokemon catching areas and the agency headquarters. There are six phases each to the Ande region quest, where you navigate through four areas before you fight a Team Silhouette admin. The one exception to this setup, of course, is the sixth and last phase which is a minimum of three areas including the Silhouette leader fight.

In each of the primary areas where you have to snag the Shadow Pokemon up until reaching Silhouette’s base, you are tasked with a specific number of how many that you must catch before you can return to the agency. After meeting that goal, you have the option to either return or stay in a particular area to try and find the rest of the Shadow Pokemon that are reportedly within it. Upon leaving, the Shadow Monitor feature in your PDA will update you with the Shadow Pokemon that you haven’t encountered in a particular area, courtesy from Threetus. Fainting a Shadow Pokemon would still cause for it to flee until you have the second chance to snag it from either Miror B or Poatch (I will get to that later), but in the case of which the player might not succeed the mission by being close to failing to snag Pokemon below the required number, there will be a gadget to ensure that you will clear each stage. Said gadget for the specific kind of case will automatically reverse the event of a Shadow Pokemon fainting by replenishing its health and it will do its job until the Pokemon is snagged and until the main objective is cleared.

Before any of you ask me if the two mechanics above sound familiar to you, that’s where I also talk about another familiar mechanic. Although, before I do, I want to talk about the main inspiration for these. These ideas do not come from an RPG like Pokemon, but rather from an underrated game with the similar collect them all/catch them all theme. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about… (*flashes images of Banjo-Kazooie, A Hat in Time, Battle for Bikini Bottom, and Super Mario Sunshine*) Ape Escape.

If you aren’t familiar with Ape Escape, I suggest that you familiarize yourselves with the main games, because they are criminally underrated. Just so you know where the influences from these games come from into writing my vision for this game, this is where I explain them. The main goal of Ape Escape is to catch a certain amount of monkeys in an area. Upon reaching the stage objective, you are automatically transported back to the main hub before you can either go back to one of the levels or go to the very next one. The games also have more than five phases for you to navigate your way through. Since the past two main games, each phase will end with a boss fight. These are the two ideas from the games that I’ve used for my personal Colosseum/XD sequel that I’m talking about. The inspirations don’t end there as I’m now getting to the icing of the cake. In my way of making the job of catching Shadow Pokemon feel less like a chore and in adding a little more fun to it, I’m introducing a feature to this game that’s mostly derived from the Ape Escape games: gadgets.

The more you progress in the Ape Escape games another gadget is added to your utility. This is the similar case for this fan sequel of Colosseum/XD. In this vision of my personal sequel, you start off with two core Shadow Pokemon snagging gear: the snag machine for catching and the aura reader headpiece for identifying the aura of the Pokemon while Ape Escape usually starts you off with the monkey net and the stun club. Below are my ideas of gadgets to use to help you on your Shadow Pokemon snagging quest:

-Snag Tracker: Obtainable during the first phase. It keeps track of how many Pokemon you have snagged and/or required to snag. Upon completing the main objective, a small split screen of it will appear where the screen glows green. Upon having fainted a certain amount of Shadow Pokemon and the tracker reaches its minimum number, it will repurpose into a Shadow Pokemon revitalizer, preventing any other SP from fainting in the moment that they do.
-Shadow Glass: Obtainable during the first phase. It is a magnifying glass that can see the trailing aura of near and far Shadow Pokemon outside of battle.
-PokeSpot Transporter: Obtainable during the second phase. This involves a much less tedious way of getting to the Pokespots by way of an instant, robotic Natu that will teleport you to the desired PokeSpot.
-Travel Gear: Obtainable during the second phase. Some areas will require you to tread water, climb rocky walls, fly up to higher ground, smash rocks, and of course, cut trees. While this is yet another gadget unrelated to snagging, this still makes for a convenient gadget. The required item for an obstacle will be automatically activated when using.
-Snag Stereo: Obtainable during the third phase. This gadget can be used to attract Trainers with Shadow Pokemon that are out of your reach by, what else, playing irresistible jams. Once the Trainer and their Shadow Pokemon are found out, it will result into an automatic battle. The gadget can also be used during the game’s bonding feature to help lower a Shadow Pokemon’s gauge. Of course, two of the songs included are Miror B’s two signature battle themes.
-Lucky Chip: Obtainable during the fourth phase. It is an attachment to your snag machine, which will slightly increase the odds of successfully snagging a Shadow Pokemon.
-Purification Seals: Obtainable during the fifth phase. It is an attachment for any Poke Ball of a snagged Shadow Pokemon, meant to increase the rate of its purification once applied.
-Bond Band: Obtainable during the sixth phase. It is the last gadget to receive and it is the the only item that can be held by a Shadow Pokemon. Upon activating it on your Shadow Pokemon in-battle, they will unleash a powerful non-Shadow move, which, in the end of the turn, would cause for its heart gauge to go down by one-third.

So, let’s now deviate from the Ape Escape influences for one good moment and introduce yet another mechanic to snagging. It is one of my own ideas and it’s a little something that I’d like to call “Snag Moves.” You’ll be able to start utilizing these as early as later into the first phase. Snag Moves are non-damaging attacks that can be linked to a Pokemon in your party. They can only be used once, they can only be used against Shadow Pokemon, the moves cause a certain effect that will temporarily prevent them from attacking, and they can slightly increase the odds of successfully snagging them. You can learn a variety of the moves from certain NPCs including your five co-members of the purification squad, the leader of the agency, and as well as defeated opponents like Vicegor, Glirus, the five Silhouette admins, Poatch, and of course, Miror B. I can’t write up every possible one of these, but here are six Snag Moves that I’ve had in mind.

-Snag Sensory (Oneo): Controls the black aura within the minds of Shadow Pokemon to make them unable to use a move for one turn.
-Snag Fumes (Twotie): Creates a smokescreen of incense to overwhelm a Shadow Pokemon, enough to prevent it from using a move for one turn.
-Snag Pulse (Threetus): Creates a noise harsh enough for a Shadow Pokemon to be unable to listen to a Trainer’s orders for one turn.
-Snag Trap (Fourell): Forms a sticky web strong enough to hinder a Shadow Pokemon from using a move for one turn.
-Snag Pit (Fivevia): By way of creating a tremor, this move forms a pit for a Shadow Pokemon to temporarily get trapped under, preventing it from using a move for one turn.
-Snag Samba (Miror B.): Conjures a rhythmic spell for a Shadow Pokemon to be enchanted by, causing for it to be distracted into a dance for two turns.

For Shadow Pokemon left unsnagged, that is a job done by the other five squad members. There will be a 1 in 5 chance that one of your co-squad members will call you, telling you that they snagged a Shadow Pokemon in a certain area and that they would like for you to come over at said area to lend it to you, after you return to the agency. Visiting one of your comrades, they will hand deliver the Shadow Pokemon and have a talk with you before offering you a little friendly Pokemon battle. Each squad member will have their own respective day to contact you: Oneo on Mondays, Twotie on Tuesdays, Threetus on Wednesdays, Fourell on Thursdays, and Fivevia on Fridays.

For runaway Shadow Pokemon, they will end up being caught by either Miror B or Poatch and you’ll have to snag the Shadow Pokemon from either of the two Trainers by scoping them out and then battling them. The leader of the agency will report you about Miror B being sighted with a Shadow Pokemon on Saturdays, while the leader will report to you about Poatch on Sundays.

Because Poatch has his own snag machine, he will have the ability to try and snag your own Pokemon or the Shadow Pokemon that you have caught. Normal Pokemon would turn against your party members until they are re-captured by you. If the opponent is one of your own, your party members, except non-purified Shadow Pokemon, will refuse to use moves against it. Your normal/purified Pokemon also have a 50-50 chance of ignoring Poatch's orders. Shadow Pokemon taken by Poatch will obey for every turn, and they are also required to be re-captured for you to end your battle against Poatch.


2.2. Mechanics/Features: Shadow Pokemon and Purification

Alright, that’s enough for the snagging features. Now \let’s go over some of my ideas for the purification mechanic. You’ll already be introduced to purification during the start of the game, by way of a Relic Stone outside of the PPA headquarters. After defeating the first Silhouette admin, you’ll be re-introduced to the Purify Chamber from XD. Then, after defeating the fourth Silhouette admin, you’ll be introduced to a new method for purification known as Purify Performance. This new method will allow for you to purify up to three Shadow Pokemon at once. It is a rhythm-based minigame where you and the Pokemon partake in a recital that will bring them closer to restoring its memories and opening the door to their hearts the more that you succeed until they are ready to be purified.

Other ways to purify Shadow Pokemon include lending them to one of your co-squad members. Once your PDA notifies you that a Shadow Pokemon’s heart gauge is completely down, the squad member will give the Pokemon back to you, purified. In addition, you can only do this once a day for each of the five co-squad members.

Finally, there are more methods to help with a Shadow Pokemon’s heart gauge. In inclusion to the Purification Seals and the Bond Bands gadgets, there’s a feature in the vein of Pokemon Amie, Refresh, and Camp, whereas you can bond with even your Shadow Pokemon. Do I have a name for it? So far, I don’t. And while Shadow Pokemon most of the time won’t get along with regular Pokemon for this bonding feature, bonding with them will lower their meter to a certain length. It will depend on how much time you spend with the Shadow Pokemon.

Now let’s move onto the additional features for the Shadow Pokemon themselves. Shadow moves will not be OP like they were in XD and will do regular damage for all types, unless in the case of moves like Shadow Half. Shadow moves will remain least effective on Shadow Pokemon, but there will be new Shadow moves that can do super-effective damage on other Pokemon, based on their type. This is the part where I introduce the idea of dual Shadow and traditional Pokemon type moves. This is the least that I’ve come up with for all 18 types:

Bug: Shadow Swarm
Dark: Shadow Ploy
Dragon: Shadow Rage
Electric: Shadow Bolt (returning from XD), Shadow Spark
Fairy: Shadow Dust
Fighting: Shadow Jab
Fire: Shadow Fire (returning from XD), Shadow Torch
Flying: Shadow Swoop
Ghost: Shadow Fright
Grass: Shadow Root
Ground: Shadow Fault
Ice: Shadow Chill (returning from XD), Shadow Frost
Normal: Shadow Crush
Poison: Shadow Venom
Psychic: Shadow Seer
Rock: Shadow Rubble
Steel: Shadow Shaft
Water: Shadow Scour

As for the grand total of Shadow Pokemon that I would intend to put into this game, I don’t have a specific number in mind, but I think the best possible number of Shadow Pokemon would be between 200 and 250. It shouldn’t be too limited and it shouldn’t feel too greedy.


2.3. Mechanics/Features: Everything else

Now let’s wrap up talk of the features by going through the last of them that I have conceived. First off, there’s the Orre sidequest. What can you do while travelling through the region you might ask? After reaching it through sea, you’ll start your journey at Gateon Port. You will be tasked to talk to certain Orre inhabitants. The first two NPCs you’ll be required to speak to is Makan and Perr. Afterwards, you’ll then make your way to Kaminko’s House, get past his aide, Chobin, and receive permission to use the Robo Kyogre to pilot across Aura Island. After being able to access a few more sites, you’ll eventually go to Pyrite, where you’ll then have to speak to ONBS reps Secc and Nett for assistance. While in Pyrite, you will receive news of former Silhouette peons settling in the region in attempts to reform the group. This will prompt for you to travel the S.S. Libra crash site and then the old, abandoned Cipher Shadow Pokemon Lab to apprehend them. Eventually, you will obtain access to the Pokemon HQ Lab where you’ll meet the last couple to talk to for assisting in creating the PPA’s laser beam, those two of course being Krane and Lily.

Other things you can do in Orre include going to Phenac City to battle Justy, going to the defunct Cipher Key Lair to engage in a double battle with Eldes and Ardos, going to the Snagem Hideout to battle Gonzap, and taking the challenge at Mt. Battle. However, while Mt. Battle is a returning feature for the game, there are a few twists. Mt. Battle would now require for you to do 10 consecutive battles before saving your progress at a rest house. Excluding Vander and the final battler, the rest of the area leaders are important NPCs, old and new. They include Cail, Chobin, Agnol, and the five former Silhouette admins. You can also reaccess the Pyrite Cave and while the old entrance is still blocked off, you’ll still be able to access it though a new underground pass. Making your way through the cave, you’ll come across a spot where you’ll offer a match/rematch with foes old and new: Dakim, Venus, Ein, Lovrina, Snattle, Gorigan, Miror B, and Poatch. Getting to talk to each of the former Cipher and neo-Cipher admins will reveal that they had developed a change a heart over the years (all except Ein, who, along with Ardos, still appears to hold a bitter grudge of Cipher’s destruction), having learned to appreciate their own Pokemon through seeing their inner strengths. Talking to Miror B and Poatch will reveal that they both given up on Shadow Pokemon and trying to seek Pokemon that would match their skills (Additionally, Poatch would also be shown to have discarded his prototype snag machine).

Among the few things in Orre from the original two games that will be closed off are the three PokeSpots. They aren’t demolished, but still they are inaccessible. Duking will make his return as well, but as an ambassador for the PokeSpots in the Ande region. The Hexagon Brothers from XD will also make a return, but as associates for Team Void. Each member would also now appear in separate areas until they are all defeated one by one and retreat to Void’s Shadow Pokemon Lab, where they can all be rematched.

While I’m still on the topic of PokeSpots, that’s another feature that I can’t forget to mention. They would make a return for this game, but there will now be six of them and each will have more variety compared to the three PokeSpots in XD.

And because I also shouldn’t forget about this game’s starter, aside from providing you with extra help in scoping out Shadow Pokemon, your Rockruff will be accessed to newly introduced variations of its forms upon evolving into Lycanroc. These variations include Dawn Lycanroc, Morning Lycanroc, and Late Night Lycanroc (not to be confused with Midnight Lycanroc). They are all transferable (except in SW/SH, of course).

Finally, and I know that I can NEVER forget about this, since this is my idea for the game, I would ensure that every single Pokemon are programmed in the game, for the ever-loving sake of keeping the Pokemon fanbase from tearing itself apart any further.


3. Conclusion

And there you have it, this is all that I have to share about my idea for a new Colosseum/XD game, on top of a sequel. I don’t know when there will be another game like C/XD, or if there will ever be another, but I could still only dream. If it were to happen though, I think it’s safe to say that a third Stadium game would have to happen first, because I know for sure that people are clamoring more for that. If you didn’t know how much I missed Colosseum and XD before then, the fact that I’ve written a near full-fledged idea for its sequel will tell you so. And please, don’t take any of this completely to heart. This is not meant to be presented as some kind of pitch. This is just me expressing my own ideas for a new, hypothetical C/XD game.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

21. CrITic

It's the day after the 40th anniversary of Pink Floyd's "The Wall" album. Before any of you ask, no, the bottom 20 NC reviews project is not done yet and at the current rate I'm in, it would probably take another month for the review to be written out. So, here's a re-post of the silly short story that won me this year's Scary Story Contest. This was something that I wrote on a whim. No part of this is meant to be taken seriously, nor is it meant to reflect my personal opinions of NC and Doug Walker. It was a dumb, satirical story about the Nostalgia Critic, but since it's the dumb NC satire that people on here enjoyed reading, I have no regrets writing this. If you will, consider this re-post as a preview to my bottom 20 NC reviews...review. I added a little something extra to the story, which wasn't present from my Octerrorfest submission. It's a small detail, so I'll give away that you'll find it at the very end of the text.

A black-hooded man in a dark, back-lit apartment room lays motionless in front of his piano, which had his microphone attached to it. Per usual for this person, his face was obscured by the darkness of the room.

The man in the hood gave a slightly annoyed sigh. Then he finally spoke, “Well, you wouldn’t think that I would be bringing this back, but welcome to Todd in the Shadows’s music reviews: the spooktacular edition!” As he said this, the title in question briefly appeared on-screen in big, wavy, and orange letters.

Look, I know I’ve given up on trying finding Halloween-themed material for my reviews not too long ago,” he continued. “Still, like every year, I have to show my Halloween spirit, see?”

Pictures of the reviewer’s dogs then appeared on-screen, sporting a costume of their own.

“Once again, I’ve dressed up my dogs,” said Todd, the pop music critic. “Now, this is actually going to be different from my usual reviews. Sometimes, you ought to challenge yourself a bit. Although, I’m only doing this because people have been sharing me this story left to right on Twitter and I just don’t know what to say about it. Apparently, it has something do with the Nostalgia Critic. I don’t care…about him, I mean. I haven’t spoken with him since he shot himself, alongside me and a lot of other internet critics, into space. There was something to do with destroying the Plot Hole. …I got turned into a robot, if I remember correctly. Those were weird times. ...Or maybe it was since that Les Mis' review that I appeared in. Of course, I don’t usually remember every review I’ve done or have been in.”

Todd shrugged on his previous statement before he leaned down to pick up pieces of printed paper.

“I have the story, by the way. From what I’ve read, it deals with how people in a small town of Chicago have been mysteriously dying and how it may be linked to the Nostalgia Critic. This was written by someone whose little brother got murdered. It sounds pretty spooky, doesn’t it? Then the kid’s brother said he got more information after the critic paid himself a visit with him and…I just don’t know what to think. So I thought I’d look into this story with a more thoughtful analysis. How this review is going to work is that I will read the story myself, and then, you know…I’ll review it. I am a critic, so I will be the judge of whether this feels genuine or if this is just some myth.”

It’s not a music review, but if people want me to raise awareness about this, then fuck it. Let’s dive right into this tale.”

As Todd narrated the story, the scene of his apartment room fades into a flashback to the where it took place.


It was a stormy day when I let my brother Georgie outside to go play with his paper boat. I didn’t know what came afterwards until the critic reinterpreted it all through a skit. He had two puppets that he named Malcolm and Tamara to masquerade as something in his dramatization. He had Malcolm portray a puddle while Tamara portrayed my little brother.

As Georgie was playing with his boat, it eventually fell down a storm drain and he wanted to get it back. That’s when he saw…It. Inside of that storm drain, he was the Nostalgia Critic. In his usual, whimsical way, he said to my little brother…

“Hello Georgie, I’m the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don’t have to.”

Of course, the Nostalgia Critic was portrayed by none other than his own self. Georgie knew not to trust an eccentric critic that he never knew, but then the critic continued to tempt him.

“Come on, don’t you want something…awesome?” The critic then asked.

“I’m not supposed to talk to strangers,” Georgie said to him. “I’m not supposed to take stuff from them either. My dad said so.”

“You’re a very smart kid to follow your father’s good advice, you know,” the critic replied. “I’m the fucking Nostalgia Critic, representative for Channel Awesome, and the funniest critic on the internet. You are...Georgie. Wow, some personality you have, but now we know each other.”

Georgie was still feeling fazed from the conversation he was in with the internet critic, but his grimacing smile was too much for him not to ignore and there was one important thing that he had to remind him about.

“Wait! You can’t possibly leave this behind, can’t you?” The critic uttered.

Georgie was ecstatic enough to see that the critic held on to the paper boat that fell in the storm drain, but the Nostalgia Critic couldn’t give it to him right away or let him return home for he had some things to offer him.

“Down here are some of the most awesome things you’ll ever see,” the critic continued.

“Well, Pokemon is awesome,” Georgie then said to the internet critic.

“Oh, you love those little fuckers, don’t you?” The critic replied, visibly angry. “Down here, you can see them getting murdered to a pulp! …But it’s not so bad down here. I’ve got reviews of any kind. I’ve got reviews of Happy Madison films, Stephen King movies, I have a thinkpiece on my opinion of Hollywood whitewashing, and Christmas reviews- God, do I fucking love Christmas! Oh yeah, I have clipless reviews too.

“Are they funny?” Georgie then asked.

“Oh yes Georgie…they’re funny. …So, are you going to take your boat back or what? I’m supposed to get back to finish editing several of my video projects in the next five minutes, including my half-assed review of The Rise of Skywalker!”

However, when Georgie reached over for his paper boat, the Nostalgia Critic picked up his gun and shouted:

“Heil Hitler!”

The critic shot my little brother several times and left him next to the storm drain to die from blood loss. Later that day, police told us about the dead body and days later, we arranged a funeral in his memory. Now, just recently, I encountered the critic face to face. He provided me with his skit on how my little brother died. Afterwards, he taunted me about it, saying...

“You remember Georgie, don’t you? I remember what I did to him…so you don’t have to.”

After that, the Nostalgia Critic just disappeared. From what I believe, he’s gone off to find others to threaten or kill. This is the end of my story and I will use it to raise awareness to anyone who could become a victim to…”it.” Sure, it may sound uncanny that a serial killer could be in the form of the once beloved internet critic, but I guarantee you all that I tell no lies.


Todd in the Shadows appeared again inside his apartment room, having finished the story.

“Well, that was the scary story that I’ve decided to waste my own time reading,” said Todd. “Do I think it’s genuine? People on the internet, you know…they tend to come up with some of the craziest things. This doesn’t sound like something that truly happened, because this is a very crazy story, but not in a good way of saying it. That’s my review.”

Upon making his previous statement, Todd inched his chair back and finished, “I’m Todd in the Shadows. I remember it so you dont ha….” He stopped as he realized what he was going to say. “Happy Halloween, yeah, that was I was meant to say.”

Todd stood up from his chair, turned off his camera, and went inside his apartment bathroom to look at the mirror. However, unveiling his face in front of the mirror, he appeared to be…the Nostalgia Critic.

“Oh Todd, I didn’t have to go and play as you in a skit to cease your existence, but it was part of my plan to deceive your fans,” the critic gloated. "All in all, you're just another brick in the wall. Soon, everyone else will end up the same by becoming the same image of me. Then, I will be the one critic on the internet that people will watch…so they don’t have to watch anyone else.”

The Nostalgia Critic returned a malicious smile to the mirror and, to create a dramatic effect, flickers the lights off.



Link to comment
Share on other sites

22. In His Honor

This was a one-off story that I wrote last year for the Spin-Off Festival in June. I wrote this during the period in which a certain entertainment company sunk to its lowest. This short story was originally made from my personal experience with "that company." I've had thoughts of making this into a continuous original story unlike the rest of my work on SBC, which comprised of SB fanfics and SBC metafics. However,  as time passed by, I've become torn on whether I should continue this or not.

The main idea for this short story came from more than just one experience. Had I continued this, it would've established more on my personal outlook of the entertainment industry in general. Because I can't keep it vague now, the particular company that had drawn me into writing this short story is none other than Nickelodeon. In addition, if I continued the story, there would be plenty of allegories resembling Nickelodeon and their practices, all while the unnamed business depicted in this story would go to slightly bigger extremes as it transitions to after the main character's (Jude) death to give the story more of a cautionary tale kind of vibe, like making [the unnamed network company] painting humble Jude as an LGBT icon despite his objection to being a household name, lying on [unnamed Twitter spoof], after Jude's death, proclaiming that he succumbed to HIV/AIDS to get attention and sympathy, and establishing their heavy reliance towards Newton the Narwhal far enough to enlist fishermen into capturing a baby narwhal and putting in on display at the late Jude's local aquarium, which would end up being the final nail in the company's coffin.

While this piece of biographical fiction was intended to be a massive jab at the entertainment industry, it was also intended to be a character-driven story, as it would also focus on Jude's relationships with certain people that made him feel comfortable in the animation business. While I have plans to show off more written stories of my own, I currently have no plans to continue In His Honor for a few reasons. One, I've lost interest in this story when I stopped feeling bitter about Nickelodeon and more apathetic towards the company. Two, I feared this story would end up being a bit of a preachy mess and have some of you asking me, "Hey, if you don't like some aspects about the entertainment industry, then why do you want to be part of it?" And finally, I've already just spoiled some details about how the rest of this story would pan out. It's a shame too that I would abandon this story because this would've been more of a challenge for me, as I would be writing characters of several different types, including my main character, who I wrote to be openly gay.

There's nothing else I need to say. Here is the story:


Judas “Jude” Ryan Valentine is a 16-year old High School sophomore. Born and raised a small town California child in Monterey. His birthday is March 2nd, 1974, a Pisces. Blood type is B-positive. Lived in a family household of four that includes himself, parents Layne Valentine, Veronica Valentine (née Houston), and one 13-year old brother named Abel. Jude’s father was an editor for the local newspaper while his mother works as a business representative for a major telecommunications and electronics company that goes by the name of Nanten. While Jude’s family comes from a Christian-oriented background, he is an atheist by choice. Despite this fact, Jude has been said to have regularly gone to church once a week alongside his parents and his younger brother until moving out three years later – a decision in which Jude did not regret making as it was the very turning point that had helped him get to where he needed to be later in his life.

The first half of 1990 was, as Jude commonly expressed, the most distressing experience in his life. While the unemployment rate climbed up gradually, his father got laid off from his job in February of that year. For seven months, Jude’s family was facing a financial struggle and they had to sell even a few of their cherished belongings to provide sufficient funds. At the time, Jude’s parents have consistently pressured for him to start getting a job of his own. Other than troubles with family, Jude had also faced trouble in Monterey High School. Life in high school was worse. Sometimes displaying a flamboyant and meek attitude in school had made him a target of bullying. Jude constantly had to endure beatings as well as verbal insults such as “Catch AIDS and die!” from student bullies. More often than not, he had been serving detention after getting caught for truancy along with his other peers. That was something in which he, once again, never had done so much before. As a result, Jude’s grades considerably slipped and it didn’t take long for his two parents to notice his poor performance in school. In addition, it didn’t take long for them to notice his absences and his beatings. Jude recalls one time that he tried to reach out to his parents about his lack of motivation to be in school in due to his inability to endure the bullying that he had to deal with. “Deal with it,” was the straightest response that his parents would give him before lecturing him numerous times about self-defense. Acting like a coward one too many times while trying to learn about self-defense would sometimes allow for his parents to motivate him not to be, in their own words, “a pussy [homophobic expletive].” Jude, of course, only felt more intimidated by the mindset of his parents that made them develop their choice of words as he had also endured this kind of verbal abuse from his bullies in school. He did not like being intimidated like that, not at all.

It was not long ago that Jude felt that he had lost faith in Christianity and his faith in God. The last several times that Jude had to show himself in church, he was not only distant from all the other churchgoers including his family, but most of the time, he had felt uncomfortable. Occasionally, the pastor would acknowledge verses from the Bible that suggested that a relationship between someone of the same gender was a sin. Dinnertime, at the family table, Jude had also felt uncomfortable in that setting whenever his parents would often talk of the homosexual agenda and gibe about the unemployment rate for homosexuals. As Jude was not an open book on Christian politics and because he feared for the worst if he had let out the entire truth to his parents about his beliefs and sexuality, he always bit his tongue when it came to his parents’ hostile talk of the agenda. Had he told his truths earlier, Jude expressed, he believed that his parents would neglect him for the rest of his life, throw him out of his own home, or take complete control of his life. Whatever his parents would’ve done first if Jude had gave away his concealed truths earlier, his parents would likely start by cutting out his social life. Jude has had few friends while in high school. His friends were troublemakers and his parents, indeed, saw him as bad influences. Jude was especially afraid of his parents forcing him away from his wolf-pack because among his old group, was one person in his life that gave him the utmost support and tried to help him feel more motivated in life, school, and influenced him to stay out of trouble despite being a repeated truant since junior high. His name is Sean Bernhard Blakely.

Sean had been said to have gratefully respected Jude for how different he was from any other person he had known. Jude did not care for being at the top of the social ladder. Jude did not follow popular young adolescent trends like mullet haircuts or going to nightclubs to get high. Neither did Sean. Jude was also the only person to know Sean for what he really was. While Sean had a typical cool kid reputation to try and keep in school, he was open-minded, good-mannered, and as well as a stand-up guy while around Jude. Sean was the kind of person who was not afraid to talk back at Jude’s parents. He was the kind of person who was willing to share his insecurities and support his peers for their own. He was the kind of person who always made sure that his friend got home before a curfew that their parents had assigned for them. The person that Sean was had helped Jude come into terms with his self-being and influenced him to show his free spirits. Indeed, Sean was the first person that Jude had confessed to about his religious beliefs and his sexuality. Sean was an accepting fellow and it had made his friendship with Jude stronger. Although Sean was said to be straight, Jude later admitted that he was the first person he had passionate feelings for.

Whenever the dynamic duo had time of their own to loaf around, some of the things they usually do to spend their leisure include going to the nearest convenience store to look at dirty magazines; Sean would look at the books that were geared towards his own demographic while Jude marveled at pornographic images of men. Besides that, the duo would also purchase a pack of cigarettes before idling in an alleyway for three minutes to light up a joint. Other pursuits that the duo would usually engage in together are hanging out at Old Fisherman’s Wharf, sometimes to fish, and visiting the Monterey Bay aquarium. Of course, while alone, they do have interests of their own. Sean enjoys playing video games, tennis, ping pong (or alternatively, table tennis), and telling lighthearted jokes. Jude’s main interest is drawing. Nearly every day, Jude would bring a sketchbook and doodle on it during lunch periods and in class during tedious lectures. However, Jude had expressed being terrible at art since the first few years he had taken up the hobby. In addition, he has often received criticism for his artwork from his art class teacher. From when Sean learned of Jude’s passion for drawing, he of course showed encouragement for his artwork and advised him that all people who start practicing drawing are not good at it right away.

One of the few things that Jude has bonded with his parents over was watching monster movies. His favorite film series within that subgenre centered on a giant octopus named Monstrollusk. Jude was enthralled by how the filmmakers used the limits of stop motion animation during the golden era of motion pictures to bring the giant octopus to life. Jude’s parents were all the same as impressed as their son when it came to the special effects of the giant monster films and Jude believed that they be would so cynical to deride them as if they were the work of the devil.

However, there is no other interest that was more important to Jude than watching cartoons. Cartoons and animation in general to an extent was the one thing that had kept Jude happy throughout most of his young adolescent life. Observing animated television shows and films was a hobby that Jude had to keep for himself after his father directly told him to give up on them as he felt that he’s way too old to watch them. Because his parents believe that Jude is old enough for them to not monitor what he should and shouldn’t watch on television or on his VCR, Jude easily allowed for his own self to get lost in the world of animation. Since very early childhood, Jude had grown up on cartoons. He grew to enjoy classics such as the works of Connor Bowman featuring characters like Sonny Squirrel, Sophie Squirrel, Peter Parrot, and Richard Rhinobeetle. Then there are the aptly named Connor Bowman Animation Studios films, Flynn Michelakos and Gabriel Summers’ Dizzy Ditties cartoons, and Andy Duncan & Kelly Clarke’s Nat & Rudy cartoons. These were all usually in courtesy of the VHS tapes he collected for them as well as some of the 16mm films, those in which his father is an avid collector of. Other than the classics, Jude had also grown to appreciate the more recent works of animation, including a lot of the Duncan-Clarke brand television shows. Among them was an absolute favorite of his: The Tails of Presto.

The aforementioned animated television series started its broadcast in 1982 and ended its run in 1985 with 52 episodes before continuing to be broadcast for reruns. The series came from the mind of a female animator and writer named Lauryn De Klerk and it was about a male unicorn named Presto who navigates through wondrous worlds and defends his home from the forces of evil. For Jude, this was the animated series that strongly defined his childhood and the person that he is, for the title character Presto was a lot more than just the basic characteristics of a unicorn: majestic, elegant, and innocent. Presto was also adventurous, bold, and was friendly to just about anyone who didn’t lift a finger on anyone that he cherishes. For an era in animation that was been described to be a merchandise-driven era where certain animation television shows came around to create a market aimed at one particular demographic, Jude saw universal appeal in The Tails of Presto. When it came to Jude’s relationship with the merchandising market during the early 80s to early 90’s for cartoons, he was fonder of the stuffed animals mostly aimed towards the female audience rather than the plastic action figures that the small-to-young adolescent boys have gushed about. Of course, among his precious belongings, Jude had kept his stuffed animals (albeit in hiding from his parents when he’s not alone) whilst he gave away his BLOGIOs. Every once in a while, Jude will watch The Tails of Presto on his television set with a plush toy of Presto wrapped around his body to bring himself into his comfort zone.

Other than the boys and girls categorizations, there was one common stigma about animation that also bothered Jude, which was the belief that the medium is only intended to be enjoyed by children. He was still technically a child then, but he feared judgment whenever he goes to a venue that plays an animated film, but most of all, he didn’t want to be judged harshly by his parents if they found out about his everlasting love for cartoons. Besides himself, the only person to know of his personal hobby was none other Sean. Sometimes Jude would wait for Sean to appear by his window, on his bicycle, before he could sneak out to the local movie theater to see a so-called animated kiddie film. Sean had pointed out the ridiculousness of needing to sneak into a kid-friendly animated film while as a young adult before Jude talked of how he feels most people perceive animation.

Having already realized his passion for cartoons, Jude made it his goal in mind to be able to create moving pictures just like the geniuses behind his favorite animated shows and films and the geniuses behind his favorite monster movies. But of course, such a job required artistic talent and Jude had already seen a roadblock in his career path in the form of his lack of artistic ability. Over the course of the final months of his sophomore year and eventually throughout the summer, Jude focused on trying to make sufficient enough drawings on his sketchbook. Often times, he found himself scrunching up and tossing out the drawings he would finish before giving up and then putting away his sketchbook and his drawing utensils. Jude was not willing to give up his dream of being an animator. Before he could see himself improve his drawing, inspiration would have to strike. Eventually it did, but what led to that moment started with a piece of disheartening news…

It was August, during the mere weeks before Jude would start his junior year in high school. He had only recently heard the news that Jeremiah Newton, Presto’s voice actor, had died at age 47 to complications from type 1 diabetes. Jude told Sean of this news and in an attempt to raise his spirits took him to the Monterey Bay aquarium. That faithful day, Jude had been spending most of his time trying to educate himself about the sea creatures in the aquarium’s display. Eventually, he came across one of the aquarium’s guides: Franklin Appleton. Once a week, the man would provide lectures about the many kinds of deep sea creatures. There was one particular sea animal that incredibly piqued Jude’s interests: narwhals, or as they are commonly referred to as, the unicorns of the sea. Appleton discussed more than just the unique characteristics of the arctic sea creature. He went on about how the difficulties of raising a narwhal in captivity made such a possibility unfeasible. His commentary had greatly interested Jude and after his day at the aquarium was over, he found himself the perfect opportunity to form an idea for a cartoon based on the narwhal.

And so, shortly after starting his junior term in high school, Jude got to work. It was a long process, but he refused to quit, especially after the piece of advice that his friend Sean had given to him about becoming a talent at drawing. Jude took his time. Through browsing wildlife magazines at convenience stores, through looking at narwhal-related books at libraries, and through other various means, he consistently studied the proportions and characteristics of the narwhal. Several times he tried to capture his vision of creating a narwhal character until before the end of the first half of his junior term. It was then that he realized he managed make a narwhal drawing that stood out to him most. In his sketchbook, he had written “Newton” next to the character he drew – primarily in tribute to the late voice actor Jeremiah Newton. From that point on, he continued to hone his drawing skills and ‘twas the very moment that the beloved animator Jude Valentine had set his career path in stone, with more stories about him to follow.

The main goal of this biography will be to chronicle the life of Judas Ryan Valentine and his successful television animation masterpiece “Newton the Narwhal.” This examination had already begun with his early life before his career and will continue into the final years of his life and his work. Among the various helpful sources I’ve gathered for this biography include Jude’s personal writings, his old friends, family, and colleagues. As a former colleague of Jude myself, it is my task to detail the life of Jude Valentine with all due respect and, with the utmost sincerity, in his honor.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

23. Pokemon, let's go! ("Pokemon, I Choose You!")

The season premiere of the SS:LiT spin-off is being worked on, but it will be a while before it's done. To make up for the lack of action towards the spin-off, here's another off-series special, which I have completed most of last year, but didn't think of posting and finishing the last small bits of until now. "Try and guess" which series and episode is the topic for this special. Most of the languages I've translated back to English are handpicked, starting with the series' country of origin (Japanese) and doing a lot of other Asian languages in this order afterwards: Japanese-Vietnamese-Korean-Indonesian-Chinese-Malay-Filipino-Lao-Hindi. As you'll later see, I did more than just the episode.


Wanna be the best

Is anyone here

Catching them was my real test

My goal is to train them!

I cross the ground

The search is on the rise.

Learn all about Pokemon



Congratulations on your kindness!

You and me

I know it's my destiny!


Oh you are a good friend

In this world, we must protect!


Congratulations on your kindness!

Heart is true

Our courage killed us!

you taught me


Congratulations on your kindness!

Congratulations on your kindness!



radio: Nidrino starts the fight with a thunderbolt attack!

.../ Oh, but Gengar is back!

.../ It's here! The power of hypnosis!

.../ This is probably the end of Nidrino.

.../ Wait, Coach remembers Nidrino. What is that Pokémon now?

.../ Agate Giant Pokémon are now under attack.

.../ Ah, don't fly. So far Gengar is very good…

Gray: Yes! I'm ashes!

Presenter: Ash Ketchum is a Palette City Boy.

Gray: Now that I am 10 years old, I have got my Pokémon license.

Presenter: In Professor Oak's hometown Pokémon, a 10-year-old boy may get a new Pokémon from an expert.

Gray: Tour of Pokémon Training Minds. Here, I made a post about Pokémon World. Become a Pokémon Master. Pokémon! I am doing -

Delia Ketchum: let's go to bed! By 11 am, you need to sleep.

Gray: But tomorrow, I will start a Pokemon tour. I can not sleep.

Delia: If you have trouble sleeping, at least you have to be ready for tomorrow. Hey!

Professor Orc: Good evening, palette. Tomorrow is an important day for new Pokemon students. I recommend Fusigiden, Charmendar (French detected word for 'Charmander') and Squirrel. Everyone is for a newbie. who would you choose?

Delia: When you're done, go to bed.

Gray: This is good

Delia: Wear pajamas

Professor Orc: Development of special powers

Gray: I am going


Pokemon, let's go!


Gray: Fusigidae were added. It will be very easy. Great for beginners

.../ You are my choice

.../ Next up is Squirtle.

.../ Let's choose, edge!

.../ Select or delete. Fives.

.../ Wait a minute, Charmander. They say that this is the best way.

.../ You choose, Charmander!

.../ what? Do not! What's the time !


.../ Squirrel

Cheerleading: Gary, Gary, our man! If he can't, no one will! Gary, Gary

Gray: Sorry!

Cheerleading: Hello!

Gary: Look where you are Yes, you must be ashes. I think it is better than the last. At least you had a chance to meet me!

Gray: Gary?

Gary: Gary! Explain respect!

.../ Yes, sir, I slept and disappeared. I have Pokémon, but you don't have one.

Gray: Do you have the first Pokemon?

Gary: Yes losers and in this pocket

Cheerleading: Let's go Gary and go Gary! great!

Gary: Many fans! Thank you for your respect! I promise to be a Pokemon Master and tell the world about the city's palette!

Gray: Please forgive me?

Gary: Hey

Gray: I wonder if you can find your Pokemon?

Gary: This is right! Over time, you will get the best Pokémon Oak. It is a good idea to involve your grandparents in the Pokémon business.

Cheerleading: Come on Gary!

Gary: Thanks for viewing the production history! You learned about Gary Oak and Pokémon Trainer today.

Gray: Oh tell me!

Professor Orc: In the end, you finally decide to appear.

Gray: Oh, Professor Oak, where is my Pokémon?

Professor Orc: Your Pokémon?

Gray: Yes i am ready

Professor Orc: It looks like you're sleeping, but you can't train Pokemon. I do not think I am wearing pajamas.

Gray: Oh, Professor, I made a mistake this morning, it was too late, but the Pokémon was ready.


.../ I was thinking a lot and it took several hours, but finally I made the choice… Oh!

Professor Orc: The right people do it on time.

Gray: Oh hope you can't sleep But now I choose Pokemon ... Fushigane! what?

Professor Orc: Children do it very late.

Gray: Oh, okay, interesting ... Oh, is that so!

Professor Orc: In this case, wake up in the morning and have a worm or Pokémon.

Gray: Does this mean all Pokémon are complete?

Professor Orc: Okay, I have another one.

Gray: Professor!

Professor Orc: I think I need to warn you - there is another problem.

Gray: Pokemon needs this.

Professor Orc: Well ...

Pikachu: .../ Pikachu

Professor Orc: His name was Pikachu.

Gray: Oh dear, how sweet!

Professor Orc: I know.

Gray: Oh, hello Pikachu.

Pikachu: get ...

Professor Orc: Electric rodents are considered shy, but sometimes have a personality.

Gray: I understand what that means.

Professor Orc: This is very strange. Get Pokémon and Pokébal today.

Gray: Thank you ... YouUUUUU!

Professor Orc: edge to edge!

Gray: girl!

Delia: Oh my, i'm so proud of you Starting with Pokémon Training you will eventually realize your dream. But I miss you so much, my son.

.../ Hot chocolate includes shoes and socks, jewelry and interiors, favorite snacks and hot chocolate. But be careful not to burn yourself. New rubber gloves for clothes and dryer

Gray: I feel so ashamed! Do you know that I am a big boy in front of these people? Pokémon trainers can take care of themselves.

Delia:  I know. Okay. Is that a Pokémon?

Pikachu: Pikachu

Gray: Yes, I am a Pokémon.

Pikachu: Okay

Gray: Anarchy ... Pikachu makes Pokémon around the world.

Delia: I think all Pokémon are stored in the wallet. Why are you doing this?

Gray: Yes yes pikachu, you get the ball

Pikachu: chilli

Delia: Oh, my friend.

Gray: Is Pikachu a real friend?

Delia: But this is a lie.

Gray: It's weird

Professor Orc: Maternal latex gloves helped.

Gray: Why

Professor Orc: Rubber capacitor.

Gray: very good!

Delia: Don't forget to change your underwear every day.

Gray: Confession.


.../ Pikachu, can you get everything that way?

Pikachu: Okay

Gray: Is it because you don't like me?

Pikachu: Shine.

Gray: I really like you so much you are my Pokémon action. Do you think you will get better?

.../ Why, what I mean What can you name it?

Pikachu: Raid pie

Gray: Now, as with all Pokemon, you have to do the same as Pokemon and insert Pokemon.

Free photo album: Pokémon usually accompany the Pokéball during training.

Gray: Do you understand

Pikachu: Hold it!

Free photo album: But they are very hopeful. Some Pokemon do not want to stick.

Gray: The situation is improving. And get rid of it. Hello to him

Pikachu: Okay

Gray: rare?

Pikachu: Raid pie

Gray: .../ The pig

Free photo album: Pizzi (Italian detected word for 'lace') is a flying Pokémon. The lightest and easiest way to catch all Pokémon. The first Pokemon trainer is a good place to test your Pokémon skills.

Gray: special. That was our lucky day. Pikachu,

Pikachu: Donuts

Gray: I can hear you

Pikachu: Donuts

Gray: Why display text. I have no desire or need. I can take anything.


Who is Pokémon?


Pikachu: chilli!


Gray: Okay, I swear to get all the Pokémon in the world. You are ready to take it to the next level and become a Pokémon Master. Enjoy a pig during the last moments of freedom. Pokable, we are surprised!

.../ and me?

.../ Oh, beat it.

Free photo album: Often another Pokémon is fighting to catch a Pokémon.

Gray: Now tell me, but I have to do it all myself! Wait, I have an idea.

.../ Okay ... shut up ... nothing serious. Hello, baby ...

.../ Please forgive me!

.../ what happened

Free photo album: Fiji winds cause storms. Another attack took place.

Gray: man? !

.../ I don't think it's a lucky day.

.../ Hello! Export.

Free photo album: Pokemon Forest Lattatta - I love cheese, nuts, fruits and berries.

Gray: Yes, but it is an open field, not a forest.

Free photo album: They also went to places to steal silly food.

Gray: Does that mean i'm stupid?

Pig: .../ The pig

Gray: Actually?

.../ I will give you this time

.../ This is good

Free photo album: Unlike Pizzi, Sparrow's approach is not good. Very violent, sometimes attacking Pokémon and so on.

Gray: Hey, get out of Pikachu! Do not lose rocks!

Free photo album: Wild Pokémon are human-trained Pokémon.

Gray: chilli!

.../ Yes i understand

Reduction of windows: Low windows!

Gray: Hey!

Pikachu: Pikachu

Gray: Don't worry if Pikachu saves you, don't run. Hey! Let this one go, Javelin!

.../ chilli!

.../ go!


Hard: .../ Oh, is that so! Oh, is that so! Hey, ask! Oh yes, that would be perfect!

.../ No, it's just children, Oh how are you

Gray: Hey.

Hard: not you! See what you do for the poor. Are you breathing

Gray: Me, me ... I think so.

Hard: There is a medical center and physician within walking distance. Now you should walk!

Gray: Have you been to the hospital

Hard: Yes

Gray: Ok where am i going?

Hard: other than this.

Gray: .../ They returned! work!

Hard: what are you doing

Gray: I'm in debt!

Hard: Wait a minute, this is my bike!

Gray: I'll be back one day!

Hard: Hey! so it's you ……

Gray: Wait a minute, we will come back too. chilli!

.../ Pikachu ... It's impossible.

.../ Pikachu arrived. I am worried that you will go there, but if you go I will help you. Pikachu please. believe me!

.../ Do you know who i am Ash in the City Palette. I intend to be the best Pokemon owner in the world. I can't lose someone you love. I'll catch you and you! Heard?

.../ Pikachu, the only way to get into Pokable!

.../ Come in!


.../ Let's beat them

.../ what is this

Free photo album: No information There are Pokémon that are not forgiving.

Presenter: This is Ash and Pikachu's incredible adventure. His journey is full of constant action, laughter, dangerous difficulties and endless fun. Together they meet good friends, bad enemies and most imaginative. As his story unfolds, we discover the secrets and mysteries of a mysterious place - the mysterious world of Pokémon.


Next up is Pokérup.


Then I had to pack Pokémon.

Just singing, i miss the hard part

to start

I wanna be the best

Yes, that's why you killed someone.



Digre (Norwegian detected word for 'Huge')

LAN Requirements


West Java



The pig



The dragons


Little horse



Free butter


Hold, hold, hold


I will explore this land and see it from a distance.

Remove my hands and my inner strength



Folly and no

There is no lid

an objective

Sores Sores

look at that

Victory Camp

Tres Mall

Great doctor









Hold, hold, hold

Get it all



Prima (Italian detected word for 'Before') Ph



The dead

The fast

Electric generator


The buildings

Yug (Bulgarian detected word for 'South') Tang



I will cry

The seal

Gala Onion



Take everything and take everything (yes)

Take everything and take everything (yes)

Get it all




Farah |





The bells were level

as above



Male protection

light bulb


The doll



150 minimum reference

It was my luck to be a Pokémon Master


Aracajam (Hindi detected word for 'Record')

A fool


The craft

Kangas can do this

The magnet

Electronic audio


Explosive toys


It's weird

Be strong

Lai Chu (Chinese detected word for 'come out')

Quindo (Spanish detected word for 'I want')

The bell rang again

Why should it be me


Yes, we are in the middle.

What is "we", I try as much as I can

Everything else is over


Masur lentils


Old man




Meet the full board

laugh loudly

Ricky Champagne


Shower chair

LAN Requirements

blood vessels

screen shake




Take everything and take everything (yes)

Take everything and take everything (yes)



But no luck

Must be there

Bee training



Chance (Pokemon!)


My life is very interesting

Wooden library


The pig





150 minimum reference

It was my luck to be a Pokémon Master






Dougrio (Greek detected word for 'Double')


Your star


Nine stories


Oh, is that so ,.



Dragon is empty



Sorry, take a deep breath and shake your mouth

Stay here for the next 24 hours

Now it's tough, so listen carefully.


Blows sand

human nature



it's so late


Kabutopus (Japanese detected word for 'Turnips')

The apostles


to grow




Ribbon rings

Apparel (almost at home!)


Take everything and all this (yes!)

Take everything and get everything (hmm!)

Get it all




Give two




Piece of pork


Uniform (He's there!)


Hold, hold, hold

Oh i had to catch pokemon

Hold, hold, hold

Oh i had to catch pokemon

Hold, hold, hold

Get it all

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/5/2020 at 12:07 AM, 4EverGreen said:

These episodes of yours are very interesting. When do you think you're going to do another one, just out of curiosity?

When I'm out of my recent creative writing slump, so maybe later this month but I'm not good at making promises.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

24. Side Quest (Part 1)

Here it is, finally. This one-shot, alongside In His Honor, is part of something in which that I've been yearning to share for quite some time: original content. Likewise with that other one-shot I wrote, this has its own story to tell. For starters, this story ended up being so long that I had to split it into two parts. The main reason for that was because this concept had given me so many good opportunities for jokes, and the story in general had so much to tell. In other words, Side Quest was equally driven by comedy and narrative. Then there were all these characters that I came up with and I had to be sure that they're also established well enough.

For my real first real one-shot original story, I already figured that I would start within my own comfort zone. Now, I'll have to admit it, the concept of this one-shot may had been done before, but I went along with it because the main gist of it was to create a story that played with the idea where the roles are switched - the wisecracking funny animal character who is usually out of place in the story the character co-exists in, is the all-important main protagonist while a character one would usually consider as such, an all-loving princess who seeks more in her life for example, is instead the plucky comic relief sidekick.

Other than that, my main drive for this one-shot was to poke fun as many commonplace cliches in animated films and shows that came to mind by combining them to create a fictional world that's built on them. At the same time, I also intended to make this story move past the cliches that it's reinforcing and reassure that it does have its own jokes and its own story to tell. There were several types of animation cliches that I covered for this one-shot. I don't want to have to make this preamble too long, so I can't acknowledge them all. One thing that was missing was a typical dance party ending, but 1) I didn't want to be predictable and 2) the one-shot wasn't demanding one. So anyways, think of Side Quest as something along the lines of Emperor's New Groove, One-Punch Man, or Enchanted and think of it as not being too on the shallow side like Drawn Together, Family Guy, or (god forbid) the Nostalgia Critic.

I also can't hide the fact that the concept of Chester the Squirrel's character had also been done before and that he's been partly inspired from another certain red squirrel with a similar name, Conker, and at that point, you guys would think that this would've originally been a more adult-oriented story titled "Chester's Bad Fur Day." I have tried my best to make Chester feel more like something of my own, so don't get the wrong idea. With all that said, enjoy the story, if you can handle all 21,035 words of it. Considering that I had to split this into two parts, I hope it doesn't feel like so much of a chore to read. I promise that my next one-shot will be shorter, and I mean A LOT shorter compared to this.


My name is Chester The. Squirrel, and as you can already tell, I am a squirrel. I come from the world of Overusedideas in the country of Rodentroit, where everyone is a rodent like me and so happen to be just like me, except for one thing: I’m allergic to nuts. Between me and my family, this is no big deal, but for everyone else, they treat this medical disability of mine like I’m born with bad luck. It’s also because of my allergy that I am what you call a social outcast. Again, this is not a big deal to me. My parents tend to tell me that I shouldn’t care about what anyone thinks about me, and I’ve taken that advice to heart.

Anyways, this is my story. It’s the typical story of how I turned the world upside down over one simple thought that came to me this morning. I could be more specific about what this world-shattering experience is, but I don’t want to be too expository, so just sit around and listen to this tale…

A pale red-furred squirrel donned in a pair of bright green, leaf-printed pajamas and fuzzy pink slippers pulled back his blanket comprised of leaves and twigs. Chester groggily walked into his bathroom. He turned on his sink to let water flow through before splashing his face with it. Chester then stripped down his pajamas and slippers. He stepped inside his bathtub, stretched the screen all the way through, turned on the showerhead, and proceeded with his morning shower, all while his body is obscured by a black shadow.

Chester turned off the water and stepped out of his bathtub, taking a towel close to him to dry himself. With his towel wrapped around his waist, Chester walked over to his closet filled with fur pelts of his torso that were all identical to his own.

What should I wear? Chester thought.

Chester’s eyes lit up when he saw the outfit he was looking for. The pelt he found was like all the others, except the upper half was adorned in a white collar shirt and a blue blazer. After getting dressed, Chester scurried downstairs to meet up with his parents and his two kid siblings.

“Chester, your breakfast is ready!” A mother’s voice called.

The two parents sat facing front towards the table, resembling a tree stump. Chester took a chair, facing towards his parents, while sitting next to his two brothers. Chester looked down on the table to observe the meal on plate: a stack of pancakes drenched in tree sap along with two strips of bacon, a meal in which is one of his favorites.

“Bamboozling butterscotch toffee, you know my biologically inaccurate animal diet all too well, thanks!” Chester complimented before nibbling on a piece of his pancakes on his paws with his buck teeth.

“We’re your parents,” Chester’s mother spoke. “We would never forget about your nut allergy.”

“You say that just about every morning, son,” says Chester’s father. “You can’t have too many catchphrases like one of your brothers, you know. You either have to change it or settle on one.”

Chester turned his eyes to peer at his two younger brothers. One of them was jumping up and down on his chair with a face full of milk and crumbs, beside a messy, spilled bowl of honey nut flavored cereal. The other brother, who was eating the same meal, was neatly eating his meal, showing little expression on his face.

“This food is awesomesauce!” The hyperactive brother exclaimed. “Whatever! I want cookies! I want to play XBox! I have to go to the bathroom! My dog ate my homework! Here comes dat boi!”

“Take it easy, Pecan,” Chester said to his brother, “if there’s something you need to work on more than your catchphrase, it’s your manners. Look at your brother, Macadamia. He’s not making a mess.” Turning to his second younger brother, Chester then asks him, “How is your breakfast, by the way?”

“Dear brother, I articulate that this breakfast of mine tastes very quaint, thank you for asking,” Macadamia responded in a dull tone.

“Gee, are most kids nowadays like my brothers?” Chester remarked, continuing to gnaw on his pancakes.

“Chester, honey, don’t worry about it,” said the mother. “As I would always say, I’m proud of you, son.”

“Besides, you should be thinking about improving your catchphrase,” said the father. “That’s what your mother and I did after we had you, because-“

“Please, you don’t have to tell me the story,” Chester interrupted, with a small flustered look on his face. “I’m in no rush. This is just going to my first day at the Rodentroit Animal Sidekick Academy.”

“All I’m trying to say is I’m proud of you, son,” the father continued. “It’s not easy to get into that school, you know.”

“Are you sure?” Chester questioned. “Isn’t the academy Rodentroit’s mandatory education after finishing high school?”

“That is true. Regardless, I’m still proud of you, son.”

“Listen, before I go to the academy, there’s something that I need to ask,” Chester uttered, standing up from his chair and picking up his shoulder bag. “Mom, dad, have you ever thought about being anything but a sidekick and does it ever…bother you that everyone else have been and will be the same?”

“What are you talking about, Chester? Of course we’re happy about our jobs,” the mother replied.

“Besides, if you ask our fellow heroes Unspeakably Speedy and Half Animal Half Person, they’ll tell you that they are happy to work with someone like Mom Squirrel and Dad Squirrel.” As the father said this, two framed pictures of the pairs were viewed on the wall of the kitchen.

In the pictures, Unspeakably Speedy and Mom Squirrel are shown to be smiling together as the former held the key to the city, while Dad Squirrel’s picture with Half Animal Half Person shows them in an underground city. Half Animal Half Person appears as part mole while he and Dad Squirrel were holding onto a peace treaty.

“In fact, Mayor Knownuthin has said it numerous times that there’s nothing he could do about offering any kinds of professional work since most of us are satisfied in being sidekicks,” Dad Squirrel added. “Your mother and I wouldn’t even trade away our jobs for anything else in this world.”

Chester examined the framed pictures of his parents. He then looked back at the two and responded, “Well…forget about what I asked, then. I can see how much being a sidekick means to you both.”

“I’m proud of you son,” Mom Squirrel replied as she and her husband gave Chester a hug.

“I think you’d make a great sidekick, but you’ll always be our little hero,” said Dad Squirrel.

“Thank you for telling this,” said Chester, “and now if you’ll excuse me, I have to take myself and these two munchkins to school.”

Chester and his two brothers Pecan and Macadamia then appeared outside of their tree hollow home, in front of a school bus that was driving the two kids to Timothy Q. Mouse Elementary, which was 150 feet away from the tree home. Chester gave his brothers their bagged lunches before seeing them off.

“Alright now, you two behave while I’m at my higher education locale,” Chester informed. “You know what I mean right? Don’t be weird, don’t get yourselves into trouble, don’t put things you shouldn’t put in your mouths, and all that.”

“I do affirm that I determine to be courteous and to be in my most proper manner while I’m at my education unit today,” Macadamia spoke blankly.

“I want to watch TV! When is recess? Dab on them haters!” Pecan exclaimed.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you two say,” Chester replied.

Pecan was hopping up and down in front of the bus before he hopped right in while Macadamia followed, stepping on it with a grave and typical manner. Chester waved the bus farewell as it rolled down to its destination.

“Oh, bamboozling butterscotch toffee, I’m running late!” Chester said, gawking at the wristwatch on his right arm. Then the view shifted rightward to show Chester’s school to be just within the background of his home. “It’s a good thing that it’s only a five minute walk from here.”

After pointing out that odd convenience, Chester gave a huff as his backpack tugged over his shoulders and he scurried over towards the Animal Sidekick Academy. Later on, he meets up with his coach alongside his schoolmates.

“ALRIGHT DIRTBAGS, LISTEN UP!” The coach boomed, as the all-caps punctuation in his sentence already indicates.

As he appears, the coach’s physique is small. He is diminutive to the point where the students had to look down to see him. He looks as though he can be squashed like a bug. Of course, that is because he is a bug.

“I’m your coach, Coach Bug!” He continues. “I am here to roughen you all up into mighty fine sidekicks while referring to you students with the usual sergeant nasty insults like maggots, worms, cockroaches, and maggots to motivate you all into shape!-“

 Coach Bug interrupted his rambling when he saw one of his students, appropriately named One Shot, raised his paw.

“Pardon me, but you said ‘maggots’ twice,” the student uttered.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion, One Shot!” Coach Bug responded. “Anyways, I also know a handful of motivational overdone phrases like “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” “Get off your high horse,” “Hay is for horses,” “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink,” and “If you fall off a horse, you get back on.” I know what you’re all going to tell me, aren’t all of those horse-related? Well, you’d be right, but since I already pointed that out to myself, I’m right! Now let’s not waste any more time with all this exposition, your training to be sidekicks begins! Now…open your joke books to page ten!”

All of the students in the room did as instructed. The main perspective then shows Chester reading off a sentence from said page.

“How did the frog feel after a disappointing party? It felt that it wasn’t all that it was croaked up to be,” Chester read. “What do you call a story about an owl detective investigating a crime scene? Hoo-dunit. What do you call a rabbit with lice? Bugs Bunny. What did one llama say to the other that picked a fight? You wouldn’t want to hurt me, I alpaca punch. Excuse me Coach Bug, but what’s the point of this? This joke book is in the fifteenth edition and this is still baby stuff that I’ve learned since grade school!”

“Why should you be the one to talk? You’re the one squirrel who’s allergic to his own diet!” Coach Bug retorted. “Hey everyone, go ahead and laugh at this guy for how different he is!”

Taking the coach’s advice, everyone else in the gymnasium, of course, laughed at Chester with no second thought as to if this particular moment will make them look more like a bunch of ungrateful twits later.

“I didn’t ask for cheap banter from anyone.” Chester remarked.

“In case you didn’t know, fleabag, the book is to warm you up for the obstacle course!” Coach Bug heckled. “In that course, you’ll be facing hurdles where you’ll have to sing a quirky musical number, put yourself in the face of danger to save your fellow hero, cheering them up after a misunderstanding or exposing a great big lie by telling them a good joke you’ve heard and help them get back on their feet by reminding them how special they really are, and ensure every adventure ends with you being the life of the party!”

“Okay, so if I could just ask one question, what if I…hypothetically speaking, wanted the role of a hero?” Chester asked. “What would you have me do then?”

The coach responded by grabbing a hold of Chester’s face, forcing him to stoop down and see him eye to eye.

“Boy, do you want to die a slow, painful death in a ditch piled with tree nuts?” Coach Bug threatened with a soft yet sincere tone in his voice. He lets go of Chester and directs his attention to all his students, continuing by saying “I think it’s time for the obstacle course. Come on, maggots, go and make your way over the station! Move, move, move! Step on it!”

After the last three words the coach had spoken, one of the students accidentally runs through and squishes him. This misfortune had to the session being dismissed early and as well as an awkward transition to the next scene where Chester and two others are conversing in front of the hallway.

“Wow, tough break with the coach,” one of the students, a beaver, remarked. “Consider yourself lucky that the school day is ending early because of that accident with him. I wouldn’t want to be you and make things more uncomfortable with this whole thing about not wanting to be a sidekick.”

“Come on, Blankie Beaver, have you ever had thoughts like this?” Chester asked.

“Ugh, we’ve been through this numerous times, Chester, call me Blake!” Blankie fumed, gaining the attention of other students passing by in the hall. “Pardon my anger issues, come again on those thoughts you’re going on about?”

“It’s just that...it occurred to me this morning that everyone I know here in Rodentroit is a sidekick in some sense, and so I then asked myself what if I wanted to be anything else other than a sidekick?” Chester explained.

“What are you trying to say?” Blankie questioned.

“What I’m trying to say is that-“

“It’s peanut butter jelly time!” A Golden Glavcot rabbit student interrupted, who popped into the scene out of the blue with a peanut butter & jelly sandwich in his right paw.

The rabbit was pressing a peanut butter & jelly sandwich on Chester’s face, triggering his allergic reaction. Chester bent down and gasped for breath, hurriedly grabbing an epinephrine pen from his fur pocket to inject into his bloodstreams, relieving him of his asthma attack.

“Muddy Erphie…that…was not funny!” Chester gasped.

“Chester does have a point, Muddy,” said Blankie. “That wasn’t funny. I wouldn’t have gone with the typical jump scare and make him suffer longer.”

“Your case isn’t helping, Blankie,” Chester responded.

“I just told you to call me Blake,” Blankie corrected.

“So fellas, what’s crackalackin’?” Muddy asked.

“Nothing much, Chester is just trying to me about the most outrageous thing that’s ever come to his mind,” making eye contact with Chester now, he continued, “Now you have to tell us what it is that you were going on about not wanting to be a sidekick.”

“It’s exactly what you thought I was going to say: I don’t want to be a sidekick,” Chester confessed.

Upon hearing Chester’s admission, Blankie and Muddy left a gasp and astonished looks on their faces. Everyone else seen in the hallway would follow suit, including a hamster that cued the dramatic violin and held the note before being told to stop.

“I tell you what, Chester my man. You are quite the joke-ster!” Muddy remarked.

“He’s clearly being serious,” Blankie pointed out. “Why wouldn’t you want to be a sidekick, Chester? It’s mandated by law in Rodentroit that everyone has to have a profession in being a sidekick.”

“I don’t believe I’m cut out for that kind of job. It’s not my style,” Chester responded. “I’d like to give that Mayor Knownuthin a piece of my mind, because that law of his is a bunch of hogwash to me!”

“Look, by some standards like how being a sidekick means having to be as annoying as Muddy Erphie, I wouldn’t want to be a sidekick…” Blankie was saying.

“What, did y’all say somethin’?” Muddy asked.

“…Like everyone else, I’m sticking to that principle regardless because it is what it is.” Blankie continued. “Besides, whatever kind of job you’ll get as a sidekick, it’ll at least be better than the job I got myself hired for.”

“Oh, and what job is that?” Chester asked.

“It’s nothing special, I’m playing second banana to another beaver that goes by the name of Jokey,” Blankie replied. “He refers to himself as being smarter than the average beaver, yet he’s in need of a sidekick who needs to remind him not to be weird in front of others, not to cause any trouble, and to not put things that he shouldn’t put in his mouth.”

“Sounds like the exact kind of guidance I’d give to my kid brothers before they go to their school. They must have already gone and disobeyed my advice today.”

Chester’s last sentence cued a cutaway gag where Pecan and Macademia are currently shown to have gotten themselves in detention. Being his hyperactive self, Pecan was jittering around in his seat with crayons in his mouth while Macadamia sat next to him with his stoic expression, and with strips of squid ink running down his mouth.

“You wouldn’t want to end up like Jokey, Chester.” Blankie continued. “People like him see themselves as being too good to be a sidekick and go around spending their lives pulling pranks on innocent folks.”

“So why did you take the job?” Chester asked.

“You got to start your experience somewhere. Once I’ve decided that I’m tired of Jokey’s schemes, I’ll leave him well alone.”

“Now I bet your bottom dollar that you’d like to hear what job I got accepted in as a sidekick,” Muddy said to Chester.

“Let me guess, you just got accepted by someone who is a bigger nuisance than you are,” Chester joked.

“Better than that, I am going be flung back into the 1200s to be partners in crime with Genghis Khan!” Muddy replied.

“Genghis Khan, you mean the conqueror that formed the Mongol Empire and, with his army, slaughtered the lives of those who tried to resist his regime, as well as slaughtering the lives of plentiful innocent people so he could take their land for his empire, that Genghis Khan?”

“Whoa there, pal, are you Miike Snow, ‘cuz I think you’re getting a little bit Genghis Khan yourself. Think of him as a power hungry savage if you will, but once you get to know someone more, you’ll understand them more as well.”

“I have to admit, Muddy does have a point. Genghis Khan has done some good for his people and the lands he once ruled. So don’t get your mind too wrapped up in the gutter, Chester,” Blankie advised.

“Fine then, you guys do you while I’m going to do whatever it is that I’ll do,” said Chester. “I’ve finally decided that I’d rather die than become a sidekick like everyone else and become less than an individual like everyone else.”

Taking Chester’s words literally, Muddy was preparing to throw his peanut butter & jelly sandwich right at Chester before Blankie stopped him.

“Hold it, Muddy, I’ll reason with the stubborn squirrel.” Blankie spoke. “So tell me, Chester, why do you think the life of a sidekick would be bad for you?”

“Worst case scenario? I end up sticking up for a quirky princess who likes to sing songs about destiny or finding true love, has everything that she could ever ask for and yet desires to have more in life, while I have to help her do things that she’s too lazy or incompetent to do and once I help her become this heroine that she’s so destined to be, she takes all the credit for the work I’ve done for her.” Chester vented. “Not that I’m saying that something like that could ever happen to me.”

“So let me get this straight…you have a problem with girls?” Blankie asked.

“I never said that I do, I just said that I don’t want my life as a sidekick to be as typical as working for a princess-“

“Hey everyone, not only is this squirrel here allergic to nuts, he’s also very much never kissed a girl because he doesn’t like ‘em!” Blankie stated. Except for Muddy, all the other students in the hall laughed at his proclamation.

“That wasn’t the point that I was trying to make,” Chester said to Blankie.

“Come on Chester, I wouldn’t even turn down an opportunity to be with such a hunky-dory princess,” Muddy remarked. “I’m just glad that I’m going to start my experience in being a sidekick by becoming amigos with Genghis Khan I’ve been coming up with some good jokes that I thought I’d share with him, like this one for example…”

“If it’s culturally insensitive, then I don’t want to hear it,” Chester replied. “Besides, no one in the 1100s is going to get any of your out-of-place references.”

“Just you wait, fool, I’ll introduce those Mongols to stuff like Mahjong, Super Smash Bros., selfies, clog dancing, and Celine Dion. I’ll make like Prince and have the Mongol Empire party like it is 1999!”

“Yeah, and no one is going to understand anything that you’re going to say because you’re not savvy in terms of culture or time periods. You had me at Mahjong though, but you lost me at everything else.”

“So if you’re going to choose not to be a sidekick, then what are you going to do with your life?” Blankie asked Chester.

“I’m going to be an individual and walk my own path. The best that I’d hope to be is climb at the top of the Overusedideas hierarchy and prove that even someone who’s born to be a sidekick can be a hero,” as Chester spoke, he began making his way towards the exit of the facility. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a score to settle with the mayor.”

Before Chester left, Muddy called out to say, “Okay, but if you change your mind, you can always crawl back to us so we can rub it in your face that we were right.”

“It’s his funeral,” Blankie deadpanned before turning his head over to Muddy. “You’re going to be hitting up that Genghis Khan fellow later today, aren’t you?”

“You know it, my dude!” Muddy replied.

“I got a job with Jokey later today, although I’m not going to enjoy it.”

Before Chester’s dilemma is shown, the perspective then changes to show a royal civilization within the world of Overusedideas. Here is a bustling castle town known as the Royal Castle Town of Complainsalot, home to a developing nation where society is diverse, and technology and pop culture is up to date, all while the structural integrity is the same as it was during the Middle Ages. It’s also the same abode that bears the Castle of Self-Isolation, where this story’s deuteragonist lives…in self-isolation.

Inside the royal castle is the royal room of the very royal princess of the land. The décor and furniture is covered from top to bottom in purple, gray, and black, so as to define this princess as being unlike the others, given her rebellious image. The princess groggily awoke from her red and black royal bed to fix her royal black hair and apply royal black eyeliner to her eyes. She then got out of her royal red nightgown to put on her royal black and purple dress, her royal black leggings, her royal gray heels, and her royal purple gloves. She pulled the royal black curtains of her royal window to peak her royal head out and greet her royal, tweeting, blue jay friends. In case anyone has forgotten, she’s royal.

“Woe is me,” the princess spoke. “I live in such a beautiful castle with a beautiful town, and with such pleasant people, yet this all isn’t enough for me. After I lost my mother when I was little, my life hasn’t felt quite the same. I know there’s more to see in life, and I want to be part of that.”

The Princess was about to break into a song until she heard a knock coming from her door.

“Sarah, Sarah, it’s your father!” The voice called out.

Obeying the man’s request, Princess Sarah Complainsalot opened the door for her father, the King Complainsalot.

“What do you want this time, daaaaad?” Sarah asked.

“I hate to interrupt while you’re in the middle of your daily existential crisis, but this is my part of the noble Complainsalot routine where I give you your royal schedule for the day.” The King informed, holding out a piece of parchment detailing as such.

Looking at the list of royal duties on the royal- okay, I know you fellow readers already get the point by now. Anyways, the rambunctious princess examined the list of simple routine responsibilities that seemed to be way too much for her stubborn self and responded to her kingly father, “But daaaaad, questioning my place in this world despite having so much that I could ever ask for in life is part of my daily routine, and I’m doing just fine with it! How am I supposed to preach to the world of Overusedideas that I’m a princess who is not like all the other princesses if you keep housing me in this castle?”

“Now darling, why wouldn’t you want to stay in a place like this?” The King inquired. “Besides, you are hereby ordered by our regal code that you have to stay cooped up in this castle to protect yourself and those who live in it from unforeseeable danger. Your rebellious behavior isn’t going to bring your mother back, you know.”

“Ugh, I was in such a good mood until you had to bring that up.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I know it’s been hard on you to have lost your mother since that…gummy bear eating contest incident. It’s been hard on me as well.” The King gave himself a moment to express his sadness, reminiscing about a brief time where his wife, Queen Complainsalot, who was fatally mauled by a giant, sentient gummy bear in the midst of the aforementioned eating contest, in which she competed for the Over-Privileged Castle Townsfolk charity.

“You know, daaaaaad, I’ve been thinking asking this question a lot lately. When will I be able to grow up, become more independent, and go on a life-changing journey where I discover more about who I am and find myself a respectable person to fall in love with?”

“Now you should know that such words like “grow up” are banned in this castle. You may be sixteen years old now, but in views of your own father, you are just a mere three years old and therefore, you are still in crucial need of adult supervision.”

“For once in my teenage life, when will you be able to let me go outside?”

The very last word that the king’s daughter had uttered would turn out to be the most overpowering trigger word that he could ever hear. “Outside, outside, are you nuttier than a squirrel!?” The King shrieked with the utmost shock and despair. “Young lady, you sure do know how to butter my biscuits! Do you need me to go over this lecture with you, again?”

“No I don’t, we’ve been over this before, daaaaaad.”

One of the castle’s servants then popped up within the scene without any prior notice and inquired to the King, “Sir, I do not mean to interrupt this part of your daily routine where you have a strenuous talk with your daughter about her existential crisis, but I should point out that you’ve gone off-schedule with one of the simple kingly responsibilities that you should have attended to…again.”

“Leave us, if you’d please,” the King responded to the servant. “This is part of my routine. My usual planned five minutes worth of throne-sitting can be given another rain-check. As I was saying, my dear Sarah, you’re very much aware of the dangers that have taken place outside, but I shall remind you once again about them regardless. Tell me, where did the chimpanzee tree cutters’ 167th banana shortage war of ’85 happen?”

“Outside,” Sarah answered in an apathetic tone.

“Where did the produce street market’s beetroot sale stampeding accident of ’09 occur?” The King quizzed.

“Outside,” Sarah repeated in the same tone.

“Where did the Freeform Jazz Day snowglobe truck incident of six days ago take place?”


“Now I shall ask this one more time, where was your mother when she died?”

“Outside,” Sarah’s tone grew sad as she repeated the word. “I already know that you’re telling me all this so you could hide the fact that outside was the same place where you lost your “Dumb-Dumbs Guide to Good Parenting” book.”

“…Touché. However, my point still stands. I cannot let you leave this castle, for the open-air is too hazardous for you to be in.”

“Come on, is there any way that I could get permission to leave the Castle of Self-Isolation?”

“Ask your mother.”

“But she’s…”

“Outside, yes, I know.”

“I was going to say dead. Forget I asked, then. I guess there really is no way for me to leave this castle all on my own.”

“Well, I never said that there wasn’t any way for you to talk to your mother beyond her grave,” the King continued as he then handed Sarah a book entitled “The Stubborn Royal Child’s Guide to Summoning the Spirits of Dead Parents.” “I was going to keep this from you until the time was necessary. Because you’ve been pressuring me so much today, I figured that this would be the most necessary time to give this book to you. Besides, you do need to get out of the castle more often.”

Sarah then composed a dirty look towards her father for his utter hypocrisy.

“What? What did I say?” He asked.

The perspective changes from the inside of the Castle of Self-Isolation to the same stronghold’s royal cemetery outside. Sarah moseyed over to her mother’s headstone and, with her book, flipped her fingers through a page containing the enchanting phrase needed to summon the spectral body of the late Queen. Sarah then chanted some magic words that went along the lines of “Hocus pocus,” “abra kadabra,” or “Deities of the Netherworld, I command thee to drag my mother’s soul back into the world of the living,” and soon enough, the phantom of the late Queen appeared right in front of her.

“Sarah…my beloved and beautiful daughter, what a pleasant surprise to be seeing you again after all these years I’ve been dead,” the ghost of the Queen spoke. Immediately afterwards, her tone became solemn and she continued, “So, what do you want from me? Whatever it is, it better be something worth summoning me after eleven years for.”

“I need permission to go outside the castle,” said Sarah.

“Ask your father,” the Queen’s ghost responded.

“I just did and he wouldn’t let me unless I asked you,” Sarah clarified.

The Queen’s spirit groaned and then said to Sarah, “Then you just tell him that I said that you can go outside the castle.”

The princess’s face consequently lit up with joy and her voice squeaked with delight upon hearing her mother’s ghost affirming her consent. However, Sarah’s look changed as she saw that her mother’s ghost had more to say.

“Of course, you are going to need a chaperone before you should leave,” the phantom of the Queen added.

“I already got that covered. I plan to start my adventure riding out into the outside world with my favorite horse,” Sarah replied.

“Yes, that, but I mean that you need to find yourself a sidekick along your way.”

“Oh come on, how am I supposed to spread the word that I’m not like all the other princesses if I have to go and do something that an ordinary princess would do?” The ghost of the Queen gave a simple scowl as a response. “Fine, then I guess I’ll have to find myself a sidekick. I heard that the Convenient Hotspot for Society Withdrawn Characters is a good place to scope one out.”

“Then it’s settled. Now, since your spell lasts for a mere two minutes, there’s one more thing that I should tell you before I fade away and return to the land of the dead while I don’t have much time left. Sarah, beware of-“Before she could finish, she realizes that Sarah had already left the cemetery before she could listen to her last-minute caution. “I should have expected that of her.”

Sarah is then shown to be inside the stables within the Castle of Self-Isolation. There was one station that held two stallions, one with a brown coat, and the other with a black coat. The latter stretched its head out in front of Sarah, suggesting to her to be her transport. The horse pulled its head back with dejection when he saw Sarah showing her reigns towards the other horse next to him.

“Sorry, Surprise Mastermind, I’ll be traveling with Jumpy,” Sarah said as she strapped the reins onto Jumpy and strode him out of the stable and escorted themselves towards the castle gates.

“Bye daaaaaad,” Sarah called out, “I’m leaving the castle to go on a self-discovery quest and find a sidekick because my mom gave me permission to!”

“Well…alright then,” the King spoke. “Remember to pay your taxes.”

The princess gave herself a good, long moment to relish in the feeling of sweet freedom before climbing herself on top of Jumpy.

“It’s fiesta time, Jumpy!” Sarah remarked, her words leaving her horse feeling baffled for a moment. “That means it’s the start of a new adventure. Now go on and take me to that hotspot!”

As Jumpy started to gallop with the princess on the gravel path, it immediately stopped in his tracks, let out of a harsh whinny, and reared upwards out of fright, causing for Sarah to grip on the reigns and horseback to keep balance. She dismounted to see what caused Jumpy’s panic.

“No need to worry, Jumpy, it’s only a mud puddle,” Sarah reassured and mounted back on her horse.

The ride continued on for a few seconds until Jumpy would stop and rear up out of panic once again.

“It’s only a blade of glass, Jumpy, just keep going.”

After the horse resumed its trail, it stopped once more to panic.

“What? Are you afraid of the dust you stomp up too?”

As the ride resumed plenty more times, so would Jumpy’s habit to make a few steps before stopping to be alarmed by something in his path, annoying the princess in the process.

“I knew I should’ve continued paying for those horse-training lessons.”

Since it wouldn’t be fun continuing to see the princess’s predicament with Jumpy, it’s high time to see what Chester is doing now back in Rodentroit. He was inside the office of Mayor Knownuthin, where both rodents have met each other face to face.

“So, what brings you into my office?” Mayor Knownuthin spoke. “If it’s about making a significant change to this brilliant town, then there’s nothing that I can do about that. Or does it have to do with your peculiar nut allergy?”

“You call yourself Mayor Knownuthin and yet you somehow know about my life-threatening allergy like everyone else,” Chester joked.

In an offended tone, the mayor argued, “Hey, just because I come from the Knownuthin family name doesn’t mean that I don’t know everything! One thing that I know nothing about is improving Rodentroit, because, well…what is there to improve about it? Yet here you are, telling me that there’s something that I should change about this already-perfect abode, so let me just tell you, there’s-“

“Nothing you can do about that,” Chester interrupted, finishing what the mayor was about to say. “You take your own catchphrase with such pride that I can see it hanging on the wall of your office. Now look, I didn’t show my face here to tell you that I want you to change something about Rodentroit, I came to you for a favor that I’d like you to do for me.”

“I don’t want to hear any more of your jokes. What exactly did you come to me for, mister gasps-for-breath?”

“I would like for you to at least change my career requisite. I have come to my own personal realization that I am not fit to be a sidekick like everyone else in Rodentroit and prefer to take a different path, such as…in being a hero.”

Chester’s request left the mayor fuming. Trying to calm himself down, the mayor then started laughing mad. As his fit of livid laughter stopped, he continued to speak, saying to Chester, “Scum of the world, do you even realize that you’re breaking this town’s biggest taboo!? Listen, I come from a family with a long history of Rodentroit leadership who have all served as sidekicks for their respective hero, and the day that I let you stray away from the natural order is the day that I lose this leadership that I…didn’t actually work hard for and got through nepotism, but I am proud of having it nonetheless. That will also be the day that Rodentroit dies along with you, your friends, and your family, and both of us don’t ever want for such a predicament to happen, so there is nothing, I repeat, nothing that I can do about that law which Rodentroit’s head of government has kept mandated for many more years! So deal with it.”

Chester kept his serious and stoic demeanor during the mayor’s tirade. “Okay, so is there any chance that I could speak with this head of government that you mentioned?”

“You’d hate to hear me say this, but I am within no position of letting you tell your existential dilemma to my higher up. However, you can tell it to your family…”

As the mayor addressed Chester’s family, the door of his office then revealed Mom Squirrel, Dad Squirrel, Macadamia, and Pecan, all of them standing outside of the office for Chester.

Mom Squirrel was the first to speak and exclaimed, “Chesternut Theodore Squirrel!” Oh snap, when someone is referred by a full name basis, that definitely means trouble, and for sure, Chester will know where this will be leading up to.

“You’ve already ratted me out to my folks?” Chester inquired towards the mayor.

“You’ve pitted this on yourself,” Mayor Knownuthin responded. “It is part of the plan that I’ve just began enacting to ensure that your life is miserable.”

“How could this happen?” Mom Squirrel questioned. “How could my son turn out to be a felonious troublemaker?”

“Why would you disgrace our family name?” Dad Squirrel then spoke with the same feeling of disbelief. “We’ve been hoping that you would be a great sidekick ever since we had you.”

“Why should I have to be a sidekick when I just want to be an individual?” Chester inquired. “Why couldn’t any of you appreciate me for who I am rather than something that I’m not? Why should we all be mandated to take this same career path as if we’re not individuals? If you all have a problem with me wanting to be anything other than a sidekick, then for that, I say there’s nothing that I can do about that, and you’ll just have to deal with it! Who I am says that I should be a hero, and that is my own personal choice that I’m sticking to, because I don’t need to take the same career path as anyone else in this bubble that I’m trapped inside of to be happy! Mom, dad, brothers, at least understand that I want to go through with this decision so that I can make you all happy too, and proud of me.”

“Brother, we do appreciate you,” Macadamia was saying in his usual dull tone. “Nevertheless, we do not appreciate you for repudiating to be what your own kinfolks aspire for you to become, and that is, disregarding every uncertainty whatsoever, a sidekick.”

“You stay out of this, Macadamia! This doesn’t have to do with you!” Chester chided.

The room became filled with shock as Chester’s comment left his family flabbergasted.

“Gee willikers, that wasn’t very cash money of you, big brother,” Pecan remarked.

“We don’t know what’s gotten into your head, but if you’re not going to consider yourself a sidekick, we can’t consider you as our son anymore,” said Mom Squirrel.

“If this is how it’s going to be, then I may as well change my catchphrase for when I’m not around you...” Dad Squirrel said feeling choked up by just the thought of saying the phrase. “I’m…not proud of you, Chester.”

“Fine, be that way!” Chester argued. “I’m just going to keep being myself even though you don’t want me to.”

“Judging by your awkward and upsetting family drama, it seems as though that they have spoken when it comes down to what I should do with you.” Mayor Knownuthin spoke and pressed a big red button on his desk. “Chester the Squirrel, you shall be dearly punished, which shall start with EXILE!”

A squadron of the mayor’s guards identical in physique and uniform appeared surrounding Chester and his family through the sound of the button’s alarm.

“EXILE, EXILE, EXILE! I SENTENCE YOU TO LIFE AS A FUGITIVE! WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! YOUR PRISON CELL SHALL BE COVERED IN NUTS UPON YOUR CAPTURE! FIVE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLAR BOUNTY, THE SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY THAT I’LL WASTE JUST TO CHASE YOU DOWN! ONCE I’M DONE WITH YOU, I WILL HAVE MY FULLY ARMED FORCES DO AWAY ANYONE ASSOCIATED WITH YOU SO THAT YOUR NAME SHALL NEVER BE ETCHED ONTO THIS GLORIOUS TOWN ANYMORE! UNTIL I HAVE YOUR HEAD, I DECLARE RODENTROIT UNDER MARTIAL LAW!” The mayor’s overblown outburst would then take a toll on his vocal cords, causing for the sound of his voice to become sore as a result. “Just you wait, nut-hacker, I will be able to rule Rodentroit and soon all of Overusedideas with an iron paw, thanks to you…and to any of you of my servants, bring me medicine for my throat!”

“Um, mom, dad, Pecan, Macadamia, aren’t you hearing any of this?” Chester asked. “He just said it straight to my face that he’s an evil, deranged corporate tightwad who plans to enslave our home and will kill you guys just because you’re my family. Aren’t you going to forgive me and do anything to stop him?”

“I think you’ve said enough, we’re too distressed by your actions and you’ve upset the mayor so much to the point where we can’t understand the poor man,” said Mom Squirrel.

“Then I’m out of here!” Chester said as the mayor’s guards initiated their task in trying to apprehend him. Chester turned back to his family one more time and said to them, “You all just keep yourselves safe while I’m living my life as a fugitive. Someday, you’ll all realize that I was right and pivot right back to tell me that this has all been just some big misunderstanding.”

Chester made his way out of the mayoral building, dodging Knownuthin’s guards as much as possible. Even after reaching Rodentroit city limits, he continued to scurry away for his dear life.

“Bamboozling butterscotch toffee, why did this all have to happen to me in one day, and over something so trivial?” Chester asked himself. “If I’m a fugitive now, I better find a place to hide.” That was when the red squirrel spotted the Convenient Hotspot for Society Withdrawn Characters pub not long after thinking about a hiding place. “Of course…”

So, Chester’s current situation is very intriguing, huh? Well, let’s see how Muddy Erphie and Blankie Beaver are doing since the story could use some more of them right about now. Blankie and his employer Jokey were shown spying on a certain human bystander with a picnic basket in Rodentroit Park.

“So what’s the plan here, Jokey?” Blankie asked, pretending to be invested in the beaver’s scheme.

“You see that park ranger over there with that pickey-nickey basky-wasky?” Jokey said.

“Use normal English words, Jokey,” Blankie replied in annoyance.

“You wouldn’t believe the kind of prank I came up with for this one,” Jokey replied. “In that picnic basket should be just the ranger’s ordinary lunch once he opens it up, but what he doesn’t know is that I laced his canteen drink with mercury, and when he drinks it, it will stunt his neurological functions and he won’t be able to do anything for himself for as long as he lives. I even swapped his sandwich for one that I’ve filled with wasps, and the ranger will wind up never being able to speak again when he takes a bite out of it and the wasps enter his insides to damage his vocal cords. Oh, and for dessert, I’ve packed in there a tasty chocolate cake with a special strawberry filling that are actually red, poisonous cotoneaster berries that will damage his immune system along with his kidneys, heart, and liver. He’ll also be vomiting for days once he takes a bite out of that. Even if he were to be very suspicious, I’ve implanted a small nuclear bomb inside that picnic basket that will blow up in his face and expose him to radiation if he doesn’t consume anything in that basket for nine minutes. It’s the perfect prank!”

“But Jokey,” Blankie says in a very mocking tone, “Wouldn’t any of these tricks…kill the park ranger? How would we even be able to succeed in taking his picnic basket when we wouldn’t be able to eat and drink anything inside of it since you’ve booby-trapped the basket itself and spiked everything in there?”

“You’re thinking too much about this, Blankie Beaver.”

“It’s Blake, Jokey.”

“You see Blankie, buddy. It’s not the pickle-nickel brisket that I’m after. I just like to see this man suffer.”

“What has this guy ever done to you to warrant all this?”

“One time, he threw out my driftwood collection because he thinks he’s saving the planet and that he’s so eco-friendly for getting his filthy hands on my stuff and calling it cleaning up the environment.”

“Is that your only excuse?”

“Well…his mother is named Blaykelee, he wears his pants too tight, he has a birthmark on his butt shaped like an armadillo, his breath smells like rotting fish, he wrote a negative review for Beverly Hills Capybara 2, he eats pizza with a fork, he once bought an ugly-looking cookie jar on Craigslist, he says “have a nice day” to everyone he meets as if I’m supposed to be entitled to one, and-“

“And you know all this…how?”

“I’m glad you asked, Blankie, ol’ chum. One time, I impersonated an attorney so I could have as much personal information about him subpoenaed to me.”

“Looks like being smarter than the average beaver isn’t the same as having common sense or decent moral standards.”

“Did you say something, Blankie?”

“Oh no, do say more about this scheme of yours,” the tone in Blankie’s voice grew irritated the more that he had to hear his partner refer to him by his nickname that he despises.

“If all else fails, I can just throw a pineapple upside down cake in his face, since he’s allergic to pineapples.”

It’s odd, Blankie thought as he drew parallels to Jokey’s pineapple allergy scheme to the stint Muddy pulled on Chester earlier that day. I wouldn’t seem to say no the idea of psychological torture. Perhaps Chester wasn’t crazy and this is like what he said during his whole lecture about individuality.

“Hey, look at this, Blankie. Who are those guys walking over to that ranger’s picnic basket?” Jokey asked, referring to the group of Mayor Knownuthin’s guards arriving at the park.

“I’d ask the same question,” said Blankie.

“What’s going on?” The ranger questioned.

“Attention, human, this is Mayor Knownuthin’s task force!” One of the guards announced through a speaker. “Our mayor has declared this town to be under martial law. Step away from the picnic basket so we can inspect it for any dangerous weapons that we detect to be inside of it! Unless you’re in cahoots with a runaway criminal who goes by the name of Chester the Squirrel, you will not be harmed!”

Oh boy, what did you do this time, Chester? Blankie thought.

“Officers, I must assure that I mean no harm whatsoever,” the ranger said to the mayor’s task force. “You see, I do not know about this squirrel named Chester…”

“Ah, what do we have here? An important piece of evidence, that’s what,” one of the guards said as he took out a peanut butter sandwich filled with wasps, as Jokey described. “Only someone like Chester would dare to take advantage of those with a severe wasp sting allergy as retaliation for having an allergy to nuts, and he’s used his own allergy as a cover-up.” The same guard then began to seize the ranger along with a couple more and continued saying, “That makes us sick, and it adds up to the fact that you’re a spy working for the squirrel.”

One of the guards brought out a pair of handcuffs to attach both of the ranger’s hands to, saying “For now, you’re under arrest by Mayor Knownuthin’s orders, and you’ll be interrogated afterwards.”

“I swear, officers, this isn’t my doing!” The ranger spoke in a panicked tone.

“Are you sure about that?” One of the guards replied. “Let’s just see what else is inside your sweet old granny’s hand basket. A drink container laced with mercury and a decadent cake with poisonous berries in an attempt to poison the well-respected mayor? You’ll definitely be facing punishment from our mayor for sure. Now let’s see what else is hiding inside this basket. I reckon there should be a bomb inside it as well.”

“That’s just preposterous! How would there be a bo-“

The ranger’s words were interrupted by a spontaneous explosion. Of course, the kick from the guard due to his lack of common sense would trigger the radioactive bomb inside the picnic basket to detonate. Blankie watched as the chaos ensued with a wide-eyed look expressing his shock on the matter while Jokey appeared to be entertained.

“This wasn’t supposed to be part of my prank, and yet I’m enjoying this,” Jokey commented.

“Would you mind if I excuse myself for a moment to make an important phone call, Jokey?” Blankie asked.

“Not a problem, compadre!” Jokey responded.

Blankie went to conceal himself behind a tree nearby and pulled out his phone. He viewed Muddy on his list of contacts and called it. In Muddy’s point of view, he’s inside a cavern alongside his confidant, Genghis Khan.

“You shouldn’t have to take it too hard, Genghis Khan,” Muddy was saying. “You may have plunged the Mongol Empire into a war because Wang Khan wouldn’t let his daughter marry your first son, and then it brought you into joining forces with your greatest enemy, who would then betray you later after being made a universal ruler. I mean, I saw that one coming a mile away. If you still want to reconcile with him after we’ve vanquished him and his army that is your choice, though. Despite all that, there’s no excuse for you to lie to your fellow generals that you didn’t eat the last piece of mutton, which you actually did, and to win against me in Super Smash Bros. by duping me into making me believe you were going to pick Ness and then you had to choose Meta Knight for an easy win.”

Genghis then spoke in his native language, which would translate to “My fellow rabbit, you annoy me so, but I still accept your friendship.”

“Yeah, that’s what most of my homies back in my time period say about me.” Muddy continued. “What I’m trying to say is that I still forgive you regardless of your mistakes. Besides, it was you who lead those Mongols to a victory royale! You’re Genghis Khan. If you can be the best darn conqueror that those Naimans have ever seen, then I know that you can do anything! What are Mongol buddies for?”

Genghis spoke again, with his words translating to “Could I play as Kirby next time?”

“Yes Genghis Khan, I’ll let you fight as Kirby. Hey, I know what will lift your spirits. There’s this hilarious joke I’ve heard, and it goes like this: What do you call a fake noodle?” Muddy replied before he heard his phone ringing. “Oh hey, looks like Blankie ol’ pal is trying to reach me. We’ll talk later, my man.” Taking Blankie’s call, he then says, “Yo, what up? I’m just having a good old time with my partner Genghis Khan.”

“Looks like you’re enjoying your little internship more than I am,” Blankie remarked. “Now listen Muddy, there’s something crucial going on in Rodentroit that I need to tell you about-“

“It’s also a good thing that I was able to get the Wi-Fi set up in this time period, huh?” Muddy interrupted. “Perhaps I should have Genghis Khan start an inter-dimensional postal service, and we’d really have something. Besides, how long has it been since you’ve started your sidekick job with Jokey?”

“Muddy, it’s been only three hours since after you left your own era where I’m reaching you,” Blankie pointed out.

“Whoa, it’s been that long!? It’s funny how time works. It feels like it’s been fifteen years since Genghis and I have joined forces and yet I haven’t even aged a bit!”


 “Hold that thought, Blankie. There’s a funny thing you should know about Genghis Khan. When I introduced the Mongols to mahjong, it didn’t even take him a day to be able to understand everything about the game and become a pro at it, but he’s too stubborn to admit that he’s lowkey a scrub at Super Smash Bros.-“

“MUDDY!” Blankie bellowed with such infuriation. “This is no time for your pointless info-dumping! Chester did something stupid while we were going about with our sidekick jobs and in that short amount of time, Rodentroit has been thrown into chaos! Also, I’ve been telling you for the one-thousandth time, my name is Blake!”

Blankie’s meltdown had left Muddy silent for a moment, along with Jokey who had just appeared right behind his fellow sidekick.

“Whoa, someone’s a little grumpy-wumpy,” Jokey remarked.

“Stay out of this conversation, Jokey,” Blankie retorted. “Why don’t you distract those guards over there while I’m still in the middle of an important call?”

“Was that your friend, Jokey?” Muddy asked. “Tell him I said hi!”

“First of all, he’s not my friend, and second, I contacted you so that I could ask if you’d like to help get to the bottom of whatever’s going on in Rodentroit.” Blankie explained. “We may be newbies in the sidekick profession, but given our relationship with Chester, this is a situation that we should pursue.”

“I never thought you’d ask,” Muddy replied. “Can I bring Genghis Khan too?”

“Sure, knock yourself out,” Blankie deadpanned.

“Good idea, sport, I couldn’t let this sandwich go to waste,” Jokey uttered, holding said item that was now concealed inside a plastic zip bag.

“I wasn’t talking to you!” Blankie snapped before focusing his conversation back on Muddy. “Anyways, you can go back to the present and then we’ll both find out what’s gotten wrong with Rodentroit.”

“Alright, Genghis Khan and I can call ourselves Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd, because we’re going Back to the Future! …Or to the present, in this case. I’ll see you in no less than five seconds given how short time travel is.”

 “Wait, no, no, no! Don’t do it until I’m in a private place! We’ll raise suspicions if-“Blankie paused just as he then noticed Muddy and Genghis Khan have already appeared right in front of him.

“Sorry, what was that you were saying?” Muddy asked.

“I’m in an area filled with guards, moron,” Blankie said with an aggravated tone.

“Ah-ha, I knew there would be a time traveler on Chester’s side,” one of the mayor’s guards said towards Muddy. “Nothing sounds more disturbing than the idea of the squirrel wrecking the space-time continuum in order to get rid of the beloved mayor.”

“The truth is I just brought back myself to the present along with Genghis Khan because a friend of mine asked me to,” Muddy confessed.

“He’s not referring to me though,” Blankie fibbed. “I never knew him in all my life.”

“Don’t be silly, Blankie, you’d never know me if I were to rewrite the course of time, which I don’t ever intend to do,” Muddy pointed out with a last-minute reassuring tone.

“Not helping my case, Muddy,” Blankie whispered.

“Deny all that you will,” another one of the mayor’s guards spoke before restraining Muddy and Blankie each with a pair of handcuffs, their arms crossed tied behind their backs, “we shall take your words as a confession. You’ll both be turned in to the mayor for questioning.”

“This Genghis Khan fellow seems pretty sus too, so let’s also arrest him while we’re at it,” one of the guards added as he restrained the conqueror and confiscated his weapons. “This was a mistake,” Genghis Khan would then utter. “Hey beaver, do you have any words to speak in your behalf before you’re taken in for questioning too?” He continued, directing his attention towards Jokey.

As a consequence of eating the peanut butter sandwich covered with wasps, Jokey was unable to say a word.

“Not talking, huh? You can tell it to the mayor,” the guard said as Jokey was now restrained and escorted out of the park alongside the others.

“Look on the bright side, Blankie,” said Muddy. “We may now have a Shawshank Redemption adventure in our hands, or perhaps I should be calling it a The Count of Monte Cristo kind of deal…”

“Shut your mouth,” Blankie scowled.

Tough luck for those characters, huh? Let’s see what Mom and Dad Squirrel are up to now. They and their two sons were having dinner like normal until they came to a sudden realization.

“…You know, Chester does have a point,” Dad Squirrel spoke. “He is his own mammal and so he’s free to do what pleases him.”

“Oh no…” said Mom Squirrel. “I’m feeling something…strange.”

“What is it, honey?” Dad Squirrel asked.

“It’s this feeling where I’m being made aware of that our very previous actions were a result of one big misunderstanding, that we were wrong about our son, that we made ourselves come off as bad parents for refusing to listen to him in the process, and that we now must go out and find him so that we could tell him that we made such a big mistake!” Mom Squirrel replied.

“You’ve got to kidding yourself, how can you feel something like…” Dad Squirrel stopped mid-sentence as he also came to the same sudden realization. “Son of a gun, I’m feeling it too!” He slammed his hands on the table, stood up from his stump stool and then exclaimed, “Let’s go find Chester right now so we can apologize!”

Mom Squirrel then also stood up from her seat and said “I’m in the same agreement! However, we will have to take our time in forming a genuine, heartfelt apology if we’re going to need Chester to forgive us.”

“No need to worry, we’ll think about it on our way to him,” Dad Squirrel added. “By the way, would it be right if we started our apology with a deep sigh?”

“There’s no time to waste, we’re coming, Chester!” Mom Squirrel exclaimed as she and her husband bolted out of their home, “Don’t forget, this is because I’m proud of you, son!”

“So…have you played any good games lately?” Pecan uttered towards his brother Macadamia as they saw themselves being left alone inside their tree home.

As the two squirrel parents were now outside their home, they stopped on their tracks when they noticed the mayor’s guards surrounding it.

“Aw bamboozling butterscotch toffee!” Mom Squirrel griped.

“That’s our son’s line,” Dad Squirrel added.

“Taking into account that you’re the parents of Rodentroit’s most wanted fugitive, you must also know that you will be held responsible if you choose to defend the enemy, so unless you don’t want to be captured along with him, we order for you both to cease and allow for us to take carry on with our hunt,” one of the guards said through a megaphone.

“We’ve made up our minds!” Mom Squirrel declared as she and her husband scurried down along the tree, making their way underneath the guards and through the thickets to make their escape.

Alright, that’s enough lollygagging with all these characters. Let’s check back in with Chester for real now. He’s positioned on a barstool, facing the respective human bartender of the Convenient Hotspot for Society Withdrawn Characters.

“What brings you here, squirrel?” The bartender asks.

“Oh you know, I’m just a social outcast,” says Chester, “helping this place live up to its namesake by showing up here to talk about some serious mistake that I’ve made, like making myself a wanted criminal by my own hometown, throwing it under political chaos, and it was all because I disavowed being what everyone in that town was destined to be: a sidekick. Not like it’s a big deal to me.”

“Then I should let you know that you’re in the wrong place,” the bartender replied. “We take service for people who are cast away from society, not for criminals with some nut allergies.”

“How in the flying squirrel did you even know I have this life-threatening allergy?” Chester questioned.

“Have you seen yourself on TV?” The bartender continued. “It’s like what you said that you’re a wanted fugitive. You’re all over the news because of that, look!”

The bartender directs the squirrel’s attention to the TV screen on the top left corner of the bar shelves. Shown on the screen was a news anchor in the form of a gundi who was accompanied by a human anchor whose upper body could be viewed, but his head was obscured by the camera as its focus was on the animal.

“I am here with another news update for Rodentroit…that is if you could call it one,” the gundi anchor announced. “To the surprise of no one, Rodentroit’s most wanted fugitive Chesternut Theodore Squirrel is still on the run from Mayor Knownuthin and his task force. The reward for his capture still remains the same, five hundred million dollars. Despite the fact that the excessive budget for this chase has made the stock market of Rodentroit plummet, the mayor affirms that he’s confident that Chester will be captured sooner than later. For those who seek to find Chester and bring him to justice, just remember that he’s vulnerable to nuts…and he’s a squirrel. In other, lesser news, A-list celebrity Jonathan Hamster has been quote-unquote cancelled on social media in the past ten minutes due to a totally unattractive snapshot of his plumber’s crack being made public…”

“Okay, so now that it’s come to light that I, a wanted criminal, is sitting right here in this bar in front of you, aren’t you going to try and turn me in to the big boss now?” Chester asked.

“Are you joking? I’m a bartender, not a tyrant,” he replied. “However, you should still leave.”

“Is it really because being a wanted criminal by my entire motherland doesn’t do enough or does too much to fit the description of me being withdrawn from society?” Chester argued. “Why do you think I showed my face here? The answer to that would make a lot more sense as to why you’re not refusing service to those C-list villains over there.” Pertaining to the squirrel’s previous sentence, he points his right finger towards the said group sitting at a table on the northwest corner of the pub.

“What makes you think you’re so special, huh?” The bartender argued back. “Just because you had one fragment of the entire world turned against you, you can fit right in with all these people like so? You’ve done more than having yourself withdrawn from society, and this place is for people who haven’t made as much trouble as you did.” As he began naming specific examples of the bar’s people towards the squirrel, the bartender pointed a thumb at the precise folk. “Imperfect Isaac the Owl has been ridiculed by his peers because he’s the only one from his native land to have slightly uneven eyes. Flunky Felix, the nerd over there, got a B+ on his Overusedideas History test and suffers from social awkwardness, which is a common ailment for people just like him. Then there’s Scotty, the orphan kid with the balloon who suffers from pneumonia, his case is much worse. He’s here because he has no friends. Oh, and as for those guys from the C-List Villain Society, or CVS for short, no product placement intended. They’re at the bottom of the ladder of villainy. In other words, they’re so standard and pose so little of a threat to the point where you can’t take them seriously enough to not make them welcome in this tavern.”

“Now look, I came here because I needed a place to hide. I got ratted out for just refusing to follow the path of a typical animal sidekick while also having an allergy that sets me apart from all the other, ordinary squirrels, and somehow I’m a bigger threat than those C-listers? Besides, I never ended up in this dilemma so that I could feel special. That’s not my style.”

“Hey, if you’re lucky, you could earn a spot in that society. If you can’t fit in as sidekick or as some main hero, then you could use your most-wanted enemy status to your advantage and become one of them.”

“I’m not wasting any more of my time with you, so you may as well throw me out of this hangout now.”

“You can’t leave now, not before you hear about a prediction that I foresee you experiencing, for people have called me the Bartender of Fate!”

“Hey, wait a flipping minute. You don’t actually want me to leave. You’re setting me up with this conversation somehow, aren’t you?”

“Well, I can’t hide the fact that I am a tax enforcer employed as a bartender, so you owe me about one hundred dollars for the conversation that you’ve just had with me. What else there is for me to say is that you’ll soon have a fateful encounter with a stubborn princess on a fidgety stallion, and they are to come bursting through the entrance of this tavern after you express your bewilderment of such an event.”

“That’s an event that I like the least to happen to me, so I’m not going to take your words as truth-”

Contrary to Chester’s beliefs, the unforeseeable had become foreseen. As fate would have it, Princess Sarah Complainsalot had stumbled upon Chester within the same location after barging through the entrance, along with her horse, Jumpy, who once again whined and hauled itself up out of mundane fright. Afterwards, Sarah then lost control of her mounting balance and her body was sent hurling straight towards the bar table, crash landing in front of the squirrel.

  • Funny 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

24. Side Quest (Part 2)


“Just my luck,” Chester griped in a sardonic tone.

“Just my luck, I found a sidekick!” Sarah beamed. “Now I can start my whole journey of self-discovery that I’ve been yearning to have!”

“Hey, I never said that I could be your sidekick!” Chester chided. “What about that clumsy horse of yours? What are you doing going up to call someone you don’t even know as your potential animal sidekick when you already have one?”

“But Jumpy’s useless,” Sarah pointless. “Other than that, I have no other method of going places and I got permission from my mom and daaaaaaad that I can go outside and fulfill my dream of having more in my life if I have a sidekick, and you’re what just I need!”

“I hate to break it to you, but you’ve found the wrong squirrel to make allies with. Who you’re looking at right now is a red squirrel who goes by the name of Chester, the same Chester the Squirrel who has been casted away by his own society for having a rare and peculiar nut allergy, and as well as for becoming a wanted fugitive after committing Rodentroit’s most felonious crime in not wanting to be a sidekick. If you didn’t think you would be feeling scared of me now, then you’ve been warned.”

“Chester the Squirrel…never heard of him.”

“Gee, and I thought for sure that you’d have known. I’ve seen these things about me mentioned several times before already, and right now, I’m all over the news, watch.”

Chester then directs Sarah’s attention to the mounted TV. He, alongside the princess, re-examines the TV screen to see the stoic human news anchor sitting straight forward in front of the camera while the angle was still fixed on the other, petite anchor, who could be heard venting off-camera.

“What do you mean we’re doing another story on the squirrel!?” The gundi anchor snapped. “We’ve been doing the same report since the past six hours! …How can you even say that I’ll at least get paid for this? You know that I won’t be able to get paid now while Rodentroit’s economy has gone to the dogs just like my career as a sidekick at this point! Fine…if it’s something that I could add to this monotonous news cycle, then I’ll take what I can get.” As the gundi returned to his post, he continued, in front of the camera, to say “Breaking news, Rodentroit’s most wanted, Chester the Squirrel, is still on the run and awaiting capture. If that doesn’t amuse any of you watching, don’t worry, I do have some minor updates on the matter that should be more interesting. In a shocking swerve, Chester’s revolt has amassed a small following, as his activism influenced others in Rodentroit to protest against the town’s employment system. In addition, the parents of Chester the Squirrel have reportedly fled the town from the mayor’s task force in search of their outlaw son. They are full-time sidekicks, going by the names Mom and Dad Squirrel, and they are accompanied by full-time heroes Unspeakably Speedy and Half Animal Half Person. That wraps up today’s entire live news broadcast. To anyone in Rodentroit that’s watching, may heaven have mercy on your souls. This is your resident gundi news reporter signing off…forever.”

Afterwards, the gundi storms off the set and the camera cuts off, but not before he utters “The rest is up to you, Bulletin Bill.”

“Well, at least some people are starting to appreciate this guy,” Sarah remarked.

“This situation is worse than I thought it was,” said Chester.

“I know, right?” Sarah replied. “It looks that news reporter just quit his job.”

“No, I mean, if my parents are coming back for me, then who’s keeping watch of my little brothers?” Chester replied. He then heard the sound of his phone ringing, transmitting a call request from someone with a number unknown to Chester. He answers the number without hesitation. “I suppose after being made a wanted fugitive, the mayor would publicize my contact info. Such is life.”

“Hey Chester, good thing that you’ve called,” the voice was revealed be the bartender. Recognizing the sound of the man’s voice, Chester instantly looked around to see no trace of him inside the bar except for a cardboard cut-out of him beside the table, “My senses have reminded me that there were a couple of kids that needed adult supervision so I came over to your abode to babysit your little siblings as soon as you reached my call. That’s one other reason why they call me the Bartender of Fate-”

“How did you even get my number?” Chester interrupted. “That’s the mayor’s doing, isn’t it?”

“Actually, that’s not important. By the way, since your younger siblings aren’t old enough to pay taxes, I will have to charge you another hundred dollars for the babysitting fee. This phone conversation you’re having right now will also charge you an extra thirty, so you better cough it up before your debt’s overdue. So yeah, call you later.” The bartender finished, then hanging up.

“Who does this guy think he is, charging me just to talk with him?” Chester grumbled to himself. Putting away his phone, he turns his head around to focus on Sarah, who was eying at a mug with liquor.

“Hey, is this something that I can put in my mouth?” Sarah asks before Chester chucks the beverage away from the princess.

“I don’t think you’re old enough to drink that,” Chester informs. “Where were we, now? Oh yeah, since we don’t know each other, let’s exchange our own names. Like I’ve been trying to tell you since the past few minutes, I’m Chester the Squirrel.”

“I’m Princess Sarah Complainsalot,” she greeted. “For the longest time, I’ve been living in the Castle of Self-Isolation, and now, as of today, I’m on my own.”

“So that explains why you haven’t heard of be until our chance encounter,” Chester replied. “Well, if you want me to accept your offer in being your sidekick, I’ll go ahead and make a few guesses about you. I assume that you’re a princess who’s “not like the other princesses,” dreaming of having more in her life while being born with a silver spoon in your mouth, both of your parents are dead, you like to sing songs about destiny and your place in this world at random, you’re a friend to all animals and you’re able to talk to them as well.”

“Oh, where were my manners? It’s true that I love music,” Sarah confirmed. “I shouldn’t have forgotten to introduce myself more through song. Would you fancy hearing it?”

“Sure thing, as it would prove my case.”

“Alright, I don’t think I would be comfortable performing this piece in front of you, but I have my portable songstrels to assist me.”

Sarah’s backup performers in question then came out from Jumpy’s saddle with turntables and a drum machine. From there, Sarah began her random musical number in an overwhelming fashion that Chester himself wasn’t expecting…

“You know who it is,” she exclaims, “Sarah Complainsalot straight outta the castle! Living inside it with one daaaaaaad has been such a hassle! A symbolic prison I’ve lived in, but now I’ve entered the outside world with my parents’ permission! I’m not like every other princess you see, she’s got an attitude and she’s raising the roof like realty! Adventurous, quirky, and stubborn too, you better believe that I can also do kung fu! My rhymes are on a dime as you may find, my lyrical ability can blow anyone’s mind! I got my trusty stallion Jumpy here, we got each other’s back, but no matter where he roams, he gets a heart attack! Mornings are not for me, I like to stay up late, and when I’m out in my garden, I vegetate! My skills are great, I’m not talking third class, because when a bad guy tries to fight me, you know that I’ll kick their-!”

Sarah left Chester feeling shocked by her performance, then prompting him to interrupt, demanding for her and her songstrels stop what they were doing “Stop, I’ve heard enough! What was that?”

“Why stop?” Sarah questioned. “I was going to say ‘rumps,’ but then again, that doesn’t rhyme with class.”

“That’s besides my point,” Chester replied.

“You said you wanted to hear my music, didn’t you?” Sarah continued. “It has gotten tiring singing the same old whimsy tune about finding my self-identity while kept inside that castle, and so I’ve done a lot of those songs to the point where I’ve expanded my music ability to other genres including disco, country western, reggae fusion, krautrock, anarcho-punk, shoegaze, death metal, avant-garde-“

“Yes, I get it!” Chester interrupted. “I’m not wasting any more time with all this exposition, what else do you have to say about those probable guesses I’ve made about you?”

“Well, it’s true that one of my parents is dead, but my daaaaaaad is still alive and well. I was able to go outside after getting the go ahead from my mom’s ghost, strange but true. It’s a good thing you’ve reminded me if I’m good at talking animals because I was going to ask Jumpy if it would be alright for me to spy on those c-list villains at that table over there.”

Chester was feeling apathetic about Sarah’s previous statement before that feeling turned to distress once he catches what she had just said, “No, no, no, wait! That’s a bad idea!”

“Are you sure? Let’s see what Jumpy has to say about that.”

“The horse doesn’t seem to be able to speak any language besides, well…horse…”

The horse appeared to be confused by the princess’s query at first before she then said, “Jumpy says “Yes Sarah, it’s totally a good idea to eavesdrop on those c-list villains! They might have some juicy information to share!” and if he says if it’s okay, then it’s should be okay for all of us.” While Sarah was speaking for Jumpy, the horse was using body language in front of her and Chester to denote that he doesn’t agree with her plan.

“So let me get this straight…you’re a princess who wants more in her life, you can sing music of any kind even though it doesn’t always come out right, and while you talk to animals…you can’t actually understand them, can you?” Chester inquired.

“Well…I’m talking to you!” Sarah argued.

“Yeah, because I’m an animal who can speak proper English while your horse just speaks his biological language,” Chester points out.

Afterwards, Jumpy smacks Chester with one of his hoofs for little to no reason whatsoever.

“I forgot to mention,” Sarah adds, “Jumpy seems to dislike everyone who get close enough to me, and he’s only fond of me.”

“Hey beautiful,” a male human onlooker said as he walked over to Sarah’s side, “You seem like a princess who’s lost her way. How would you feel about going for a sweet ride with?-“The guy stopped speaking when Jumpy punched him right through his jaws, there then knocking out the obnoxious individual.

“He does seem to have some standards, I’ll give your horse that,” Chester remarked.

“So, what do you say? Are we partners now?” Sarah asked.

Chester, being reluctant to answer to the princess’s offer, gave himself a moment to come up with a lie for this position he sees himself forced to be in. Of course, he thought of a white lie that he know would bite him back in his little squirrel rear later. He was going to make a mistake he may soon regret, but he didn’t care. He wanted this girl off his case without upsetting her.

That was when Chester then responded to Sarah, “You know, you may be as different as you claim yourself to be. I think I could take being your sidekick for a while…”

“Thanks a bunch! We’re going to be great friends!” Sarah beamed as she then gave the squirrel a bone-crushing hug. She stopped after hearing Chester’s feeble demand to let her go. “Alright, let’s see what those c-list villains are up to. It’s fiesta time!”

“Please don’t tell me that’s YOUR catchphrase,” Chester muttered.

“First order of business, we’re going to see what those baddies are up to,” Sarah ordered as she, Chester, and Jumpy examined the table where the C-list villains sat, peeking their heads from a table on the southwest corner of the bar.

“So tell me, Sarah, what could be so riveting about a conversation being made from a group of c-list villains?”

“Alright, we’re not wasting thirty more minutes here talking about something that no one wants to overhear, let’s discuss the Fourth Wall…” a burly-looking human male spoke.

“The Fourth Wall?” A sharp-dressed man in business attire questioned, repeating the last three words uttered by his accomplice while twirling his moustache.

“The Fourth Wall!?” Sarah repeated in an overjoyed tone.

“Not so loud! We can’t be seen, remember?” Chester whispered towards the princess “Since we don’t even know what they’re talking about, I say it’s a good idea that we leave them alone for now…”

“That’s why we need to keep listening,” Sarah whispered back.

“Oh yeah, our higher up has been telling us about that,” another sharp-dressed man in a tux, spoke. “Why are we bothering with this scheme anyways? This is a job that is too big for our lowly status.”

“This is our chance to prove that we’re not just a bunch of pushovers,” the buff guy replied. “We can’t let those so-called better evil-doers have all the fun. Besides, there lies a key to our success in our plan.”

“If it has to do with that moron, Sarah, then you can count me out,” a casually-dressed teenage girl remarked.

“Lighten up,” the man in the business suit spoke, twirling his moustache. “What are the odds that she’ll be our greatest foe?”

“Back on-topic, the Fourth Wall is said to hold the answers to all our queries surrounding the world of Overusedideas: why it exists, why we are what we are, and why we are compelled to look into this McGuffin in the first place,” the buff man continued. “There’s a rumor that our best possible source in obtaining the explanations to life’s mysteries concealed by the Fourth Wall is through a squirrel named Chester, whose self-awareness has turned him into a wanted criminal, and as well as a valuable asset for our boss’s plan.”

“Hey Chester, I think they’re talking about you,” said Sarah towards her squirrel partner.

“Of course they are,” Chester whispered. “Next thing you’d be telling me is that bears hibernate. One of them mentioned you too, but that doesn’t mean that we should get ourselves involvement in their little gossip.”

“He could make good use of our team, but then again, he might think that he’s too good for us,” The tuxedo man remarked.

“Yes, that is an obstacle for us, but we could always make him a member of our group by force,” the other sharp-dressed man, twirling his moustache, suggested.

“What’s up, guys!?” Sarah uttered loud enough for the c-list crooks to hear, much to the squirrel’s chagrin. “I couldn’t help but notice how you were talking about how Chester the Squirrel could be of good use to your plan, when he just happens to be here with me! Don’t mind how my friend’s acting like that opening ourselves up like this is a bad idea. I’m feeling confident that this is a good idea! That Fourth Wall, huh, sounds like a bunch of hoopla, am I right?”

With Sarah attracting attention from the members of the C-List Villain Society, the perspective then immediately cuts to show the group alongside Chester, Sarah, and Jumpy inside the group’s lair.

“They totally fell for it, Chester!” Sarah beamed. “Now that we’ve been captured by a group of villains, we’re already close to figuring out the secrets behind the Fourth Wall!”

“Yeah, that must feel nice for you, but what does being captured by the CVS accomplish anyhow?” Chester responded. “I’ve been made a member of this group not just because of my criminal status. It’s also because of you and your big mouth. What makes matters worse is that these guys think we have kept secrets regarding this so-called Fourth Wall when we don’t know anything about it at all.”

“Didn’t you want to prove everyone in Rodentroit wrong by bringing these guys to justice?” Sarah questioned.

“Have you forgotten that this group is comprised of third-rate bad guys?” Chester retorts. “Even if we were to apprehend them, it wouldn’t amount to much.”

“Talk all you want, we won’t let you both escape as long as we’re around,” the buff villain spoke.

“Aren’t you going to turn me in to Mayor Knownuthin?” Chester questioned. “He did put a multi-million dollar bounty on me and I’m certain that the reward is what you’re all after.”

“You do have a point,” the buff villain replied. However, it’s hard for us to process if having a wanted criminal that’ll give us the funds that we’ll need to climb up the ranks as villains would be as more important than having the same squirrel help us achieve our main goal in figuring out what lies beyond the Fourth Wall.”

“What do you even want with the ‘Fourth Wall’ anyways, and why do you want me for this job?” Chester asked.

“Reaching the Fourth Wall will reveal the secrets to life in this world,” sharp-dressed villain spoke, twirling his moustache…again, in case you didn’t know that it’s his main quirk. “You’re something special, Chester the Squirrel. You’ve become self-aware of your presence in the world and you’ve chosen to defy the lifestyle that’s been imposed on you, there then distorting the natural order. Through that information, we can conclude that you have the power to even break the barriers that the Fourth Wall possesses. Other than that, we couldn’t afford just to have a bunch of humans in our line of villainy, and so we thought it’d be more interesting if we had an animal on our side.”

“So for me, this is just some sidekick job in disguise of a large-scale scheme to bend the reality of our universe?”

“I wouldn’t call it a sidekick job, call it whatever you will,” the brawny villain said. “Say, just so that we’d all know each other, would you mind if I introduce you to every one of us in this group?”

“No, but I expect you to do that anyways.”

“My name is Tough Guy,” he clarifies, “and my main asset is well…I’m a tough guy, and with little to no redeeming qualities, it’s nothing to fancy. The man with the twirly mustache is Mr. Sir Curly Curls the Fifteenth Esquire. This guy is in it for the money. Some of the things he likes to do is overthrow small businesses and twirling his moustache, and if you need a lawyer to save you from a death sentence or so, he can make a good lawyer…or a bad one, it depends.”

“I don’t know about you Chester, but they seem like good people,” Sarah remarked.

“You have no idea…” Chester sneered.

“I’m Envy,” the casually-dressed girl spoke, “I’m the popular girl from school and I HATE you, Sarah! I hope to see you and your family caught in a dangerous landslide and as for your stupid horse, I hope he gets sent to a glue factory! I’ll never afford to let be prettier than me!”

“Excuse me, but I don’t even know who you are, or go the same school as you,” Sarah points out, “Also, horses aren’t slaughtered to make glue, and I think you mean to say “prettier than I am” instead of “prettier than-“”

“She’s not worth our time, she just seems like the type of villain who wants our attention,” Chester interrupts. “Besides, I didn’t even ask for her introduction.”

“No one ever does!” Envy exclaims, throwing a fit by kicking a chair.

“Sorry, I didn’t know being popular in school also meant being illiterate,” Sarah joked.

“Calm down Envy while I get to everyone else,” Tough Guy chimes in, then pointing a finger over to a man dressed in a laboratory attire and standing in front of an industrial and dim-looking work space. “That guy over there is Doctor Evil McCackles, and I’ll be honest with you, we didn’t invite him to our meeting at the Convenient Hotspot because he’s no fun to be around. He’s an evil, mad scientist who tries too hard to prove that he is evil. Oh yeah, and he cackles…a lot.”

“Ah-hyuck-hyuck-hyuck, Tough Guy, my fellow EVIL companion, kehehehehe,” McCackles speaks as he walks over towards his subordinate, putting an arm over his left shoulder, “I bet you’d like to see my latest EVIL creation, hahahaha! You see this here EVIL device, hee-hee? With a press of this EVIL button, it will release EVIL hydrofluoric acid that will consume any surface stood by the soles of our foes, hahahahaha, and so if this EVIL invention were to succeed, hohohoho, there will be soil left for them to live in, GYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Oh yeah, and his inventions aren’t of any help,” Tough Guys add. “Whatever chance he gets, he tries to take the backseat in our nefarious schemes too.”

“Hohohoho, I see that you brought back a squirrel!” Doctor Evil McCackles says, referring to Chester. “Haha, this gives my EVIL self quite a lot of opportunities on the kinds of illegal and EVIL experiments that I could perform…muhahahaha!”

Chester, not wanting to put up with Doctor Evil McCackles’s cockamamie antics any longer than a single minute, jeers with “Talk it all up to your fan club, if you have one for that matter.”

“Then we have The Butler over here,” Tough Guy continues, directing towards the tuxedo-donned adolescent man. “Whenever something goes amiss, you can always be sure that The Butler did it.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” The Butler said in a vexed tone. “For the most part, I am just the personal butler for these confidants, so I guess you can say that I’m the sidekick in this whole big dysfunctional family.”

“Okay, so we all know who everyone is, right?” Chester inquired. “If that’s so, then I guess I’ll be on my way n-GAAAAH!”

Chester was then startled by an unexpected appearance by a pair of identical twins, as they came into view right in front of the squirrel. This occurrence was accompanied by a loud, booming thud sound.

“Hello there, fresh meat,” the creepy twins said in unison.

“I almost forgot about those, they are known as…The Twins!” Tough Guy adds.

“Don’t they have actual names?” Chester inquired.

“Their names are Addison and Madison,” Tough Guy clarifies, “If you have trouble trying to tell them apart, just remember that Madison is able to hop on one foot while singing “Jimmy Cracked Corn,” while Addison, on the other hand, cannot.”

“Okay…so which one is Madison?”

“That’s quite obvious, squirrel, as you should figure out, she’s…fine, I’ll admit it, you got me stumped there.”

“So…what now, while I’ve been made the newest member of this whole evil team?”

“It’s a good thing that you asked since we’re not very good with smooth transitions, so of course, your first order of business with the C-List Villains Society starts right now at our desired spot once we’re taken there in a split second.”

Like magic, and as Tough Guy predetermined, Chester, Sarah, Jumpy, and the CVS (sans The Butler) are immediately shown outside, within the city limits of Rodentroit to be more precise.

“Hold up, this looks like my own home,” said Chester. “I’m going to risk getting caught if I’m close by.”

“Yes, because our scheme will be taking place right here in Rodentroit,” Curly points out, twirling his moustache. “As it appears by sheer coincidence, the town’s mayor is keeping guard of a gizmo that will aid us in destroying the barriers protecting the Fourth Wall. As our first course of action, we strike with our over-budget artillery in order to infiltrate that mayor’s office to steal the barrier breaker.”

“So we’re tasked to retrieve a McGuffin in our goal to claim another McGuffin for ourselves,” Chester assumes in a sardonic tone.

“Correct!” Tough Guy affirms. “Our mission will be accomplished by blowing everything up within our sights in this rat hole that you call home!”

“Sounds like the perfect plan,” Sarah remarks. “What can Jumpy do?”

“Well, besides transportation and cheap slapstick, your horse can just sit this out since he can’t do much,” Tough Guy responds before getting walloped in the face by one of Jumpy’s hooves. “I guess I deserved that.”

“What do you think, buddy?” Sarah asks the squirrel. “Shall we do this?”

“Ugh, why does it have to be about how you and she feel?” Envy complained. “How do you feel about me going along with this plan, squirrel?”

“I never agreed to the idea of demolishing my own home,” said Chester. “What about my brothers and to a lesser extent, the Bartender of Fate? That’s where they are…”

“Ooh, and once we’re done with those weak little runts, hahahahaha,” Doctor Evil McCackles interrupted, “I say we use my latest EVIL invention to engulf the land with EVIL balls of dust, cackle-cackle-cackle, forcing the civilians to waste all their goody-goody money on pricey vacuum cleaners that will act up before they’re ever done getting rid of the mess, muhahahahaha, it’s the most EVIL and brilliant plan!”

“When will you ever stop being so terrible, McDork?” Envy sneered towards the mad scientist.

The chatter produced by Sarah and the band of villains would then result into a brief sequence of incoherent babbling. This was projected to cause Chester’s mental state to build up with seething anger until he snapped…

“Stop it, I’ve heard enough! The bottom line here is that we’re not going to cause any more damage to my home than the mayor already had! If I’m going to agree to take the barrier breaker from that know-nothing mayor, then you guys are going to have to form a plan that’s less destructive and more subtle.”

“You’ve been poking fun at how incompetent we are and you expect us to be subtle?” Tough Guy questioned. “Besides, isn’t this what you’ve wanted, to give those scamps back home a taste of your own sweet revenge?”

“You are the ones that chose to appoint me as a member of your crummy society on the spot, so I have my right to be a voice of reason here,” Chester argued, “and therefore, I suggest we do something that doesn’t involve making a mess out of things. Revenge is not my style.”

“Making a mess of things is a healthy way for us villains to do our jobs,” Tough Guy replied. “Either you’re in on this plan or not. If you choose help us, then maybe you’ll be good enough to be our sidekick.”

The single, simple word that was ‘sidekick’ had echoed into Chester’s mind in a sense that made his anger grow some more.

“Sidekick, SIDEKICK!?” Chester fumed. “I knew it! Not even you flunkies think that I’m good enough to be a big-name villain rather than a small-name lackey! This whole ploy is just a small deed in disguise of something greater so you guys can take all the credit that I made to make you guys look like bigger threats!”

“Being a sidekick is better than being nothing at all, so what is it about the concept that makes you so upset about it?” Tough Guy asked.

“Try putting yourselves in my non-existent shoes,” Chester was saying, “and deal with the whole bit about becoming a quirky comedic relief animal sidekick being the one sole thing that you’re forced to look forward to in your life like every other civilian that you share a home with, and you’ll understand. Or how about you try putting yourself in the shoes of The Butler, who you didn’t even invite because you think he’s just a sidekick to you guys, and an easy scapegoat for when you need to get out of apprehension for your schemes? If you think I haven’t gotten all of that figured out, then you thought wrong!”

“I should’ve told you that taking him under our wing wasn’t a good idea,” Curly remarked towards Tough Guy. “He seems to know too much for our own good.”

“Does this still mean that we’re friends, Chester?” Sarah asked, feeling a bit startled by Chester’s anger. “We can always show that mayor whose boss by ourselves.”

“I’m afraid to say it to your face, but we’ve never been friends to begin with,” Chester retorted. “I lied when I accepted your offer to be your sidekick. I know how unoriginal it was of me to do such a thing, but it was what I had to do to get myself out of my own dilemma. The truth is that I could care less about how different from the other princesses you try to come off as. I can’t stand the likes of people like you. Your recklessness has brought me into greater trouble, we have very little in common, you have a bad judge of character, I don’t like your catchphrase, and you exhibit just about any overdone fairytale princess stereotype imaginable. You’re nothing more than a commonplace lead heroine to me, except worse.”

Chester’s lashing out towards Sarah had left her speechless until she spoke with a soft tone “Chester…”

“Yeah, I know what you may be thinking about me after I unveiled this great big lie that will leave me alone wasting my time moping about this dumb mistake, big whoop. So go ahead and tell me to leave, and I will do just that.” Chester replied.

“…It’s ‘I couldn’t care less,’” Sarah continued.

Chester, who didn’t expect such an answer, had nothing to say in response except “…What!?”

“You may have said all those unkind things to my face, but poor grammar is where I draw the line.” Sarah responded.

“You mean to tell that after I’ve insulted you and exposed myself as a white liar, your biggest concern is something as petty as a simple grammar mistake!? You really are gullible!”

“You’re gullible if you think that in saying “I could care less,” it doesn’t mean that there could be something to care about!”

 “I don’t mean to intrude in this conversation, but it’s like you said, squirrel: so what if you made some white lie that you held onto until now? Big whoop,” Tough Guy chimed in. “It happens a lot here in Overusedideas. It’s said that 1 in 3 people go through this sort of phase two to three times a week.”

“Hey, you’ve lied to me yourself,” Chester pointed out.

“It was already too late for us to admit that we took advantage of you so that we could have the Fourth Wall for ourselves and climb up the ranks,” Tough Guy replied. “We should’ve figured that you weren’t ever willing to become a villain like us even if we bribed you.”

“He does make a point. By the way it was unnecessary of you to say “you’re nothing more” if you then add “except worse,” as if-“Sarah added before her words got cut off by Chester.

“Stop lecturing me,” he interrupts. “How can you listen to those third-rate bad guys more than you’d listen to me?”

“I have been listening to you,” Sarah replies, “at least the C-List Villain Society would admit it that they’ve made a mistake in structuring their sentences unlike you.”

“If this is how it’s going to go between us, then fine, be that way! You can continue hanging around with CVS and your horse while I’ll continue my life on my own as a wanted fugitive!”

“Good, because I don’t think we need you anyways,” Tough Guy uttered. “If the key to unlocking the secrets held by the Fourth Wall lies in a squirrel who will belittle a young princess to defend his own bad grammar, then I believe we found the wrong Chester the Squirrel.”

“Yeah, let’s ditch him,” Envy remarked. “As much as I can’t stand Sarah, I think the squirrel would more of a nuisance for us to be around, so long, loser.”

“Goodbye, squirrel,” The Twins said in unison.

Sarah and CVS would then exit the cliff surrounding Rodentroit, leaving Chester all alone. Jumpy would then follow after the group and his owner, but not before giving a Chester a smack as his own way of saying goodbye to him.

“Who needs you guys!?” Chester hollered. “I don’t need any of you! I’ll become an official hero all by myself, you’ll see!”

It felt good to get all that off my chest, Chester narrates. It stopped feeling good after a minute though since this is now the part where I ponder alone in a deserted area of what used to be my cherished home, moping around over my faults for the next half hour or so until I decide to get over it afterwards because I’m a big boy and I had more important things to think about like how my little brothers are doing in the midst of the whole chaos. What comes next is the part where I’m distracted from my thoughts after being confronted by a certain someone…

Chester then felt something grabbing at his arm. He turned his head over to see that it was The Butler, making an unexplained yet convenient appearance.

“Oh hey…The Butler,” said Chester. “How unusual it is to be seeing you here.”

“That’s right, Chester,” The Butler responded, “I showed since I figured those hooligans I’m assisting would need me to do some work after their mission, and you know why I came here for you?”

“If I’m not mistaken, you’re here to double-cross me, turn me in the know-nothing mayor and give yourself the honor to say that the butler indeed did it,” Chester guessed.

“Oh no, that would be too predictable and I’m anything but that,” The Butler replied. “I came to you to talk about some important things.”

“Okay, so what important things are we talking here?”

“You shouldn’t give up on becoming something other than a sidekick. If it weren’t for you, I’d be stuck living the life of a personal butler for a group of third-rate shmucks.”

“I can’t say that I haven’t. If that’s all you came here to say to me, then can you let say one thing that’s important?”

“Let me finish. As you can see Chester, even though we’re trying to make a name of ourselves for a different cause, we are the same. It’s because of your call to action against being a sidekick that I feel confident to defect the C-List Villains Society and go on a path towards something greater. I could consider you as a worthy rival, Chester. I do have these evil impulses where I want to have you under my grasp, threaten you with your notable weakness, or even maim you if I had the audacity to, but I will not commit to any of those things since that wouldn’t make me any different from any of the other butlers that ‘did it.’ I don’t want to made as another example of ‘The butler did it,’ so I’ll be making it my task that you won’t get captured or harmed by your greedy mayor.”

Chester did not say another word while The Butler prattled on. “Are you done with your heartfelt and yet very revealing monologue?”

“Yes, why do you ask?”

“We have some unwanted company.” As Chester directs The Butler’s attention to what was behind him, they both see themselves surrounded by Curly Curls and a squadron of Mayor Knownuthin’s guards.

“Finally, someone acknowledges my presence!” Curly remarked, twirling his mustache like the mustache-twirler that he is. “What a surprise I’m seeing here. Who would’ve thought that you would be the one to betray your society? I bet you wouldn’t have thought that I would be the mole who’s working around with CVS as part of Mr. Nimrod Knownuthin’s job in capturing the squirrel.”

“How strangely convenient, like Chester would say,” The Butler responded.

“Actually, my first response would be my sheer bewilderment towards the mayor having a first name and a rather fitting one,” Chester points out. “Second of all, I’m not fazed at all by how whatshisname is in cahoots with the mayor since he just admitted that himself.”

“The name is Mr. Sir Curly Curls the Fifteenth Esquire,” he retorted, “and you better remember that name while you’re meeting your demise, Chester the Squirrel.” As he twirled his mustache with great force, he pulled out a sword from behind his back, preparing himself for a sparring match. “Duel with me, squirrel, or you shall be ceased by these guards!” Curly exclaimed. Try and guess what action he performs afterwards.

“Sorry, I left my sparring sword back at home,” Chester remarked in a sarcastic tone.

“I’ve made it my quest to protect my rival, so I’ll be the one to defeat you, Mr. Sir Curly Curls the Fifteenth Esquire,” The Butler spoke, as he propped up in front of the squirrel. He pulled out his own sword and pointed it at his opponent.

“You dare to defend the honor of a felon?” Curly responded, twirling his mustache for a brief moment before removing his upper-body garments to reveal a body built up of sturdy abs. “The squirrel’s philosophies must have gotten into your head.”

“Of course, and I wouldn’t want it to happen any other way!” The Butler replied and then removed his tops to show his own otherwise strong build.

Chester, unable to process everything that was going on right in front of him, had a look of astonishment frozen on his face while he watched The Butler and Curly initiate their duel. For a good duration of the fight, Curly and The Butler’s swords clashed, leaving small scratches on each other and no clear victor in sight. Knownuthin’s guards, who are usually assigned to apprehend Chester, were distracted and joined the squirrel in the viewing. The match continued until Curly and The Butler stood near the end of a cliff containing a raging waterfall. The thought of being close to great heights had reduced The Butler’s guard. Thus, Curly landed a stab on The Butler with his respective sword, making his opponent lose balance and fall with one hand grabbing the edge of the cliff and the rest of his body hanging below the waterfall. Witnessing this dilemma, Chester hurried over to grab a hold of his hand for support.

“You would go out of your way to try and save the life of your own rival?” The Butler questioned.

“It’s not like I ever agreed to you being my rival,” Chester points out while struggling to keep a grip on the eponymous butler’s right hand. “Besides, after taking my example and apparently being ripped, I do have some respect for you.”

“By the way, before I end up dead or mutilated from a great fall, there’s something very important that I needed to tell you, but forgot to,” The Butler replied.

“Figures that the whole spiel about us being worthy goals with different goals wouldn’t be the important thing,” Chester replied. “So what is it anyways?”

“Your mayor is not the real enemy, and neither is Mr. Sir Curly Curls the Fifteenth Esquire.”

“Okay…so if they’re not the greatest evil, then who is?”

“The real mastermind is that horse!”

Chester, utterly confused, responds to the revelation by then asking, “You mean Jumpy?”

“No, not that useless stallion,” The Butler reassured. “He couldn’t even devise such a convoluted and malicious plot if he tried. The princess’s other horse, Surprise Mastermind, is the one who’s been orchestrating everything leading up to his goal of taking the Fourth Wall for himself.”

“You know, it’s not so much of a surprise when his name is literally “Surprise Mastermind”…”

“What I’m trying to say is that you must not let him harness the power retained inside the Fourth Wall, or he’ll use it to bring all of Overusedideas under his filthy hooves.”

“All the information that I’ve gotten about the Fourth Wall has been too vague for me to care about it, so I wouldn’t say that it’s my problem. Say, can I let go of you now? Comparing my small body to yours, I can’t keep a tight grip since you’re pretty heavy.”

“Don’t let go if you want me to live!”

“You are going to live, so I may as well let go.”

Chester then releases his grip on The Butler’s right hand, prompting for him to fall, crying out “No!” until his feet touch down on the stream below the waterfall. Afterwards, he realizes that he’s made a soft landing.

“You’re such a drama queen,” Chester remarked. “The cliff wasn’t that high.”

“If you knew, you could’ve told me that earlier,” The Butler responded. “No worries, now that I’ve made my successful escape, I shall continue my life working my way towards being the best butler that this world has ever seen. Bet on it that I’ll achieve my goal, squirrel!”

Chester gave himself one last look at The Butler downstream. After The Butler disappeared from his sight and after he had bid his farewell to him, Chester turned his head around to see Curly and the mayor’s guards waiting for him to become cornered.

“Well, well, well,” Curly taunted, “it looks like you’ve found yourself at a dead end. The Butler may have blurted out our secret to you, but it doesn’t matter now when you’re caught in our trap.”

Before Chester would attempt to climb down the waterfall cliff, he saw some of the mayor’s guards down below, waiting to hold him captive.

“Any final words as you’ll soon see your life of freedom come to an end?” Curly inquired as he twirled his mustache with all his vigor.

There was nothing left for Chester to do than to leave himself to his thoughts. He reminisced the advice that he heard from Coach Bug back at the sidekick university, and he then thought about what The Butler said about the horse, Surprise Mastermind, being behind the whole grand scheme. That’s when he then made the unconventional realization about how these two things were coming together, and that was when Chester then spoke…

“You know, after this whole painstaking quest that I’ve made so that I could prove that I can be more than just a typical sidekick, I could be delivering a worthless monologue about I’ve learned to stay true to myself and believe in myself like I’ve always known, but after all this time that I’ve wasted to end up here, I’ve learned a valuable lesson. “If you fall off a horse, you get back on,” that was what Coach Bug once said. If it weren’t for that solemn reminder of how I’ve managed to put up with everything that I’ve dealt with in a matter of days, then I wouldn’t still be standing.”

“Wait, Coach Bug?” Curly asked, twirling his mustache in confusion. “How can the words of someone who hasn’t been shown for more than five minutes be of any significance?”

“You do make a fair point,” Chester replies. “However, there’s something that you missed: all throughout this journey, the world has been hitting me with whatever it has thrown at me. I’ve been able to predict most of these misfortunes, and yet I’ve learned to carry on, no matter what gets thrown at me. That’s when noticed that I realized how this strange world functions, as if my entire experience up to this point has all been part of some grand design. If that were the case, then I predict that you and your guards will be defeated by a convenient encounter by a clumsy horse and such a thing will happen, while we’re still on the subject of horses.”

“What a touching speech. However, I’m afraid that you’ll never see a hero moment of your own…”

As fate would have it, Curly and the mayor’s guards would then hear the sounds of a horse galloping at the scene of action. They stopped and looked to see that the horse was about to slam into them head-on. The horse struck through the group except Chester, sending them flying over the waterfall cliff, and the horse cautiously slows itself down once it saw the edge of the cliff. Chester recognized the horse to be Jumpy and the rider to be none other than Princess Sarah Complainsalot.

“Curses, foiled again!” Curly exclaimed as he and the mayor’s flew over Chester, twirling his mustache in defeat.

“Look who decided to come running right back to me,” Chester jested, referring to Sarah. “So let me guess, you realized that our past scuffle was all just a big misunderstanding, that you were wrong for leaving me all alone, you came back to help me at the right moment, and before all that, you met up with someone like the Bartender- I mean, the Babysitter of Fate.”

Sarah simply nodded in agreement to all of Chester’s presumptions.

“…and the main reason why you came back for me is because you needed to pay taxes you owed the guy, and you need money from me,” Chester continued. Sarah nodded. “Ugh, fine! That man is such a cheapskate.”

“It was a good thing I remembered my daaaaaad’s advice,” Sarah was saying. “Also, since I thought you would like me if I did something good, I decided to ditch the group of lousy villains, recruit your parents to defeat the mayor and the lot of his guards, forced him to overturn your felony, brought him under government arrest for abuse of power, and took your brothers under my wing!” Pecan and Macadamia, sitting beside the princess’s shoulders, waved their older squirrel brother hello as she acknowledged them.

“Bamboozling butterscotch toffee,” Chester replied, “that’s quite a lot that you did while I was all alone out here. Since our first few moments together, you’ve been acting like an idiot and just now you’ve pulled a 180 and did all this to make things up with me? I have to admit, I am impressed. Maybe I won’t mind being your sidekick after all.”

“I won’t accept, since you still owe me an apology for insulting my good sense of grammar.”

“You’re still upset about that? Okay…I apologize for that dumb mistake I’ve made.”

“Nah, it’s all good. I’m only kidding!” Sarah affirms. “Besides, I may be better off as a sidekick myself. After all, I consider you as my hero.”

“Are you positive? I feel grateful. By the way, since you’ve mentioned my parents, where are they anyways?”

Chester’s parents, alongside their respective partners, appeared behind Sarah, Jumpy, Macadamia, and Pecan once as Chester addressed them.

“Indubitably, we’ve factually done a good night’s work,” Unspeakably Speedy spoke. “It’s exactly what I thought precisely when that horrendously foolish mayor tried to take on us feebly when he mistakably had evidently nothing to fend himself from our exceptionally sharp superhero skills.”

“Would you kindly cut it with all the adverbs, Speedy?” Half Animal Half Person advised. “We’ve been over this numerous times before.”

“Frankly, this is clearly a force of habit that I personally possess, for I am Unspeakably Speedy,” he replied. “You totally should’ve seen the looks on the faces of the mayor’s lowly guards when I effortlessly used my extraordinarily super speed on them pitilessly.”

“No worries, you’ve impressed us as always,” Mom Squirrel complimented. “My husband and I can bake you your favorite cookies to celebrate.”

“Yeah, it’s a good thing we took care of all those guards,” Half Animal Half Person added. “Perhaps soon enough, Rodentroit will be back to its original state to begin a fresh start.”

“I’m proud of you, son,” Dad Squirrel complimented towards his associate.

“Thanks, Dad!” Half Animal Half Person responded.

“Gosh, it’s even more awkward when they use their catchphrase while on the job,” Chester remarked.

Hearing the sound of their own son’s voice, Mom and Dad looked around to recognize him standing right in front of them, alive and well. The pair rushed over to embrace their son while their faces expressed sheer remorse for their past actions and while repeating “We’re sorry!”, “I’m sorry!” and “I’m proud of you, son!” until Chester stopped them.

“Relax, relax, I already know how sorry you both are,” Chester said as his voice sounded squeezed due to the overbearing from his parents, prompting for them to release their tight grip of him.

“Did the mayor hurt you in any way?” Mom Squirrel asked.

“I had a scuffle with one of his men, but that ended in an anti-climactic fashion, like with how you guys dealt with Mayor Knownuthin,” Chester reassured.

“He was a mayor who knew nothing alright,” Mom Squirrel remarked. “I wished I known earlier and then I would’ve made him regret that he ever tried to endanger you! If he had ever laid a finger on you, I would have broken every bone in his body!”

“Yeah,” Dad Squirrel concurred, “and I would’ve poured gasoline on his sorry face, tear off his deformed skin, skip rope with it, and smear it all across the graves of all the other mayors that preceded him!” His tone changed as soon as he realized how morbid his words were. “…Or I would’ve done something less excessive.”

“Considering all the mutual support you’re giving me after you both realized your mistakes, I bet you two would be okay with me now choosing not to be a sidekick,” said Chester.

“You’ve been an inspiration for us as well, Chester,” Mom Squirrel affirmed. “You can be anything that your heart desires to be, and if that’s so, we’ll be what we want too. I’ve been thinking, I didn’t want to be a sidekick anyway. I wanted to be a baker!”

“I didn’t want to be a sidekick either,” Dad Squirrel asserts. “I wanted to be a star-studded actor!”

“Naturally, I absolutely agree,” Unspeakably Speedy adds. “The life of a superhero is seriously boring to me, personally. Indisputably, I would positively prefer to be a professor in English Literature.”

“I wouldn’t want to be a superhero all my life either!” Half Animal Half Person declares. “I want to be reborn as a sparrow chick with a doting mother bird who will tend to me with all the finest delicacies she’ll bring back for me, teach me how to fly, get myself a beautiful sparrow wife, as I then spend the rest of my glorious years raising my own hatched chicks, providing them food even during the coldest winter months, and defending my nest from other animals apart from my kind, fulfilling my entire purpose in life until I die!”

Everyone else around Half Animal Half Person expressed a baffled and disturbed look on their faces during his whole rambling.

“Hey, you guys can try living out your outlandish fantasies and I’ll aspire to live out mine,” he stated.

“Do whatever you guys wish. Just don’t just go around reinventing your lifestyles so fast because of what I did,” Chester advises.

“How about you, your mother, your brothers, and I all head back home?” Dad Squirrel asked. “It’s gotten incredibly late.”

“Bad idea,” Chester opined. “I say we move into a newer home as soon as possible. It’s going to take quite a lot for Rodentroit to recover now that it’s become such a massive dumpster fire.”

“Well, when you’re right, you’re right,” Mom Squirrel concurred. “We should still get some sleep.”

Chester and co. slept the rest of the night away as the break of morning signaled a new day. Chester had stepped out to idle outside of Rodentroit. Sarah took notice of the squirrel’s absence and mounted on her horse, strolling over to where he was.

“I suppose you have a lot on your mind, huh?” Sarah asked.

“The mayor is no longer our concern, and I don’t care enough about Surprise Mastermind or the Fourth Wall to get myself involved, so I ought to figure out what’s next for us,” Chester responded.

“Wait, did you say Surprise Mastermind?” Sarah asked again. “He was my other horse back at the Castle of Self-Isolation. I wonder how he’s been holding up after I chose to take Jumpy with me on my journey of self-discovery.”

“That other horse of yours is apparently responsible for almost every bit of damage he’s caused and he’s somewhere out there waiting for the next part of his grand masterplan to unfold,” Chester replied. “He must be out to get me, so that’s my one concern for the time being. Once again, I don’t think he’s worth getting involved over.”

“What about your old home? Everyone back in Rodentroit must be waiting to praise you for your heroism.”

“Not a chance. I’ll stay close to my own family no matter what, but I don’t owe those other folks a darn thing if they’re just going to treat me with kindness right after they’ve treated me like an outcast before then.”

“If we’re still going to be partners, what do you think is next for the both of us?”

“For starters, we’re sticking to the deal that I’ll be branded as the hero while you’re my sidekick. To a lesser extent, Jumpy will act as the sidekick’s sidekick. Since I can’t return to Rodentroit for the time being, I figured we could start a new life as simple wanderers, helping others realize their own individuality.”

“That sounds like a deal. So what are we going to do about the Fourth Wall and Surprise Mastermind?”

“For now, they’re none of our concern, just like the C-List Villain Society who I’ve heard got apprehended during their break-in and were let go out of a pity bail. Then there’s also my old classmates Blankie Beaver and Muddy Erphie, both of which I’m pretty sure are either living their best life or struggling. Besides, I wouldn’t ever want to have to be treated like some prophetic chosen one. A life like that sounds dull to me.”

“Could we at least keep our quirky catchphrases?”

“We’re going to take on a new start, so we might as well change things up. I’ve been feeling like “Bamboozling butterscotch toffee” has gone out of fashion anyways.”

“And I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

Before Chester, Sarah, and Jumpy would walk down their path ahead, they would get distracted by a passerby pair consisting of a boy at around Sarah’s age and in the similar dark, regal clothing as her, and a more neat and formal-dressed Queen.

“But mooooom,” the boy spoke, “how am I supposed to prove to the world that I’m not like all the other princes if you keep dragging me around to find a princess to fall in love with?”

“Hey, that guy seems like my type,” Sarah remarked.

“No, no, no,” Chester warned, “we’re not dealing with a love interest this early on in our personal quest!”

And so, Chester, Princess Sarah Complainsalot, and her horse, Jumpy, have begun walking along their path to towards their buddy road trip film-esque journey of self-discovery, thus ending the story of how they kick-started their adventure. …But of course, there’s still room for the super, secret bonus ending, whereas the exiled Mayor Knownuthin is seen within his cell.

“I’ll get you yet, Chester the Squirrel…” Mayor Knownuthin spoke in a somber tone. “The next time we meet…there will be nothing that YOU can do about it.”

Without warning, the mayor saw the door to his cell being opened up by Surprise Mastermind.

“What, are you letting me go?” The mayor asked. “Or are you just here to speak with me?”

“I hate to break this news to you,” Surprise Mastermind spoke, “there’s no reason for you to be the main villain here anymore. In other words, I’ll be calling the shots, while your existence will be made obsolete. Since there was nothing that you could about the squirrel, there’s nothing that I can do about turning this decision around.”

“Wait, what’s going on?” The mayor questioned before being picked up by the mastermind himself in front of a portal leading to a dark, black void of nothingness.

“As expected, you shall be given a family-friendly death sentence in the form of being imprisoned in the void, or the Shadow Realm, as the cool kids call it, for all your life.” Surprise Mastermind declared, there then throwing the mayor inside and closing off the portal. “Mr. Sir Curly Curls the Fifteenth Esquire,” he called out, “you may have failed your mission, but you are spared. I suppose two of my new recruits will be giving you some pointers.”

“Knowing their history with the squirrel, I do believe that they can help us out in detaining him,” Curly remarked, twirling his moustache in a conniving fashion.

“Here’s the barrier breaker that you wanted retrieved,” Blankie somberly spoke.

Blankie revealed himself from out of the shadows along with his partner, Jokey, who had been restructured into a cyborg. Muddy would then step out alongside Genghis Khan as Surprise Mastermind summoned them.

“Picnic baskets,” Jokey uttered in a robotic tone.

“Look us, pal! We’re buddies now…or is it baddies, or-?” Muddy commented.

“Just forget about it,” Blankie interrupted.

“Blake, Muddy,” Surprise Mastermind ordered, “while I now have the barrier breaker in my own hooves, I cannot carry on with this master scheme until I also have Chester the Squirrel within my grasp, so your mission is to bring him over to me. Do you understand that?”

“Of course we do,” Blankie responded, “at least someone has the respect to call me by my actual name.”

“Don’t worry, Surprise Mastermind. We shall pull a Steve McQueen and have Chester hunted down, like The Hunter!” Muddy finished before Genghis Khan would utter the very last line in this story by asking, in his native tongue, “Why am I here?”

  • Funny 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

25. The Main Detraction

Here it is: my newest one-shot story. That only took me what, three months to complete even though I intended to get these out once per month? I'll talk about where I'm going with my one-shots up to this point on my Q3 announcements topic, which will take place tomorrow. Anyways, I should explain where this story came from. Sometime around last year, before we all went on lockdown, I've been getting into Jenny Nicholson's videos and I came across her review on Escape from Tomorrow, which was a 2013 black-and-white indie horror film that intended to smear Disney's name. She talked about how bad the film itself and the director Randy Moore were, and I've tended to agree with her points. My mind was so focused on how condescending and pretentious the film and the director himself were, and that's when I thought "Hey, I should write a story like this."

All things considered, a lot of these one-shot stories will feature a challenge I've imposed on myself, aside from simply writing an original story with an original cast of characters. My challenge for this was to write a type of protagonist that I haven't written beforehand - a main character that is completely and utterly unlikeable. While I very much took some elements from Escape from Tomorrow and applied them to the character, Vernon Diesel (little-known fact: his name is a stealth pun on the term 'snake oil'), and towards the plot, although I can't say that he is based off of Randy Moore. I don't know him personally and I wouldn't attack him as a person (while I wouldn't encourage anyone else to do the same). Rather, I've made Vernon's character as somewhat of an antithesis to my own person: narcissistic, unorganized, vulgar (I mean, just look at all the swears I've written for this character alone to speak, which should be telling of how vulgar this one-shot is in general), conspiring, resentful, aggressive, womanizing, unfiltered, and just a flat-out tool, and none of his actions are encouraged whatsoever.

I also added up to the character's unlikability by starting and ending the story with two of the most obnoxious-sounding lines ("How can anybody in the world possibly know how I feel?" and "What did I even do to deserve all this?").  One more thing to add is that this one-shot is told through two conflicting perspectives, from Vernon and as well as from one of his employees, Cole, and I guarantee anyone reading will be able to figure out whose thoughts are coming from whom. There's nothing much else for me to point out, so feel free to read this story...


How can anybody in the world possibly know how I feel?

Today is an important day and I’m feeling so fucking nervous. Yet I feel excited as well, and confident that filming at this particular location will go as planned, so it’s not the thought of having to hide a filming session that would be prohibited without a go-ahead from the people in-charge of the venue that I’m nervous about, no. That’s because of the thought of just how uncomfortable it’s going to be for me to relive my past experiences at Blisstopia. My earliest memories there were spending time with my parents, who have been divorced for about a couple decades now. On some days I’ve visited my father as part of the whole joint custody agreement, he took me to Blisstopia to keep our relationship stable.

Whenever I’ve gone to Blisstopia together with my own old man, it’s felt like an escape from the bleak reality that’s spiraling down right before me. My father always seemed to be so happy at that place and not since those days has he returned. I’m now married with a wife and kids and on a few occasions, we’ve explored all around Blisstopia. When I visited that amusement park with them, I just feel miserable, as it’s a grim reminder of my past and whenever I take them places, my memories of it take over and I would be seeing myself doing the same kind of things that my father would had done with me at that place. It’s like no matter what I do, this theme park is casting a shadow of my father right before me and it’s bringing back my frustrated feelings towards him.

It’s been seven years since we’ve last spoken to each other. During most of that time that my father had distanced himself away from me, I’ve had my goal set on becoming a filmmaker and studied the profession of filmmaking. After waiting five years to make this happen, I am going to be making a found footage-style horror film about Blisstopia. I’ve blown the majority of the inheritance I’ve received from my grandparents on this film’s current budget to hire a crew and editor, but man, I don’t fucking care. I won’t rest until I have all the sheep in this world open up their minds about the truth of Blisstopia. I even managed to get some talented people attached to this thing, Cole, an obedient young fellow who’s good with operating a camera. Iris Lensing, fucking gorgeous woman, and I’m surprised I managed to get her to work with me through force after she said “no” the first time, when I tried to be the best gentleman I could be towards her. Shawn Cameron, a chill black guy who will be useful for when I need to pull out my race card. Lastly, there’s Matthew Shutter, who is a lazy bum but he can edit worth a damn. Most of the time, he’s complaining about how I haven’t been paying him much for his editing work when he’s not doing the good enough job that he SHOULD be doing.

Alright, I need to focus on the main attraction, and that is shooting inside the Blisstopia theme park for my genius concept for a movie. That’s enough detail for me to wrap my head around.

“Oh shit, is it already filming?” Vernon uttered before he got himself in front of the camera’s view. “This is day one of my filmmaking log. Here we all are inside this trailer, outside of the Blisstopia parking lot. We’re going to start the first day of shooting my soon-to-be masterpiece! It’s taken a while to see myself living in this moment, but now I’ve scored this once in a lifetime opportunity without whatever shit getting in the way of it. We’ll be getting footage of our scenes within the park in secret. We backpacked the PoGo cameras we’re using for footage, and as well as the rest of our equipment. Of course, I have to pay the admissions for all of us, and each ticket is about double the price of those costly lifesavers or whatever the fuck my kid son calls it that he once begged for me to buy him.

“But hey, this is what happens when ‘the Mongoose’ runs a multibillion business filled with a bunch of cheapskates. Try and sue me all you want, Bliss Co., even if you tried to raise Arnold Bliss’s dead corpse, or from his ashes, or revive his cryogenically frozen head, or bring him back with whatever the hell kind of witchcraft you’re probably hiding, nothing will prevent me from getting my work of genius off the ground! Yeah, up yours, Arnold Bliss!” He proceeded by lifting his right middle finger in front of the camera lens for a brief moment. “I wish us the best of luck for the first official day of filming. I shall continue today’s log after shooting with an update. This is Vernon signing off.”

As recording stopped, Vernon turned to his crew lounging inside his trailer. They reacted to his rambling with collective speechless and unfazed looks.

That was until Cole spoke, “That was a lot of energy and as well as a lot of venom over a company that makes a bunch of cartoons.”

“I thought you would be excited,” Vernon responded. “We’re taking such a big risk here.”

“Is this all worth getting us into financial trouble with the Arnold Bliss Company since we’ll be partly responsible for the making of your movie?” Cole asked. “Is it even worth you yourself ending up in our same situation?”

“Bliss will have some of the best lawyers, but we can get ourselves a good defense attorney too,” Vernon reassured. “Otherwise, if you’re not willing to take the risk, then I can always write you off.”

Okay, so here I am, sitting inside Vernon’s crappy trailer along with his trusty camera crew members, while I, Cole Snap, am among his small staff. This is my story of how I’ve wasted my first official job as a videographer within a couple months for this incompetent piece of shit. This guy seems to be in such a hurry to start shooting for his first feature film and to expose the “lies” wrought by Blisstopia, or Pisstopia, as he constantly refers to it as. As you can tell, I am at the brink of quitting production of his so-called masterpiece. Shawn, Iris, Matthew, and I don’t live so close away from Blisstopia, neither from Vernon, so he he’s been fucking up with our own schedules by dragging us into production work with him and today is the day that we can now start shooting for this, but I’m very much concerned about what he’s making us do though since we’re filming the park and their guests incognito as guests ourselves since Vernon hasn’t gotten permission from any of the employees nor does he intend to get permission from them to use Blisstopia as a set. Besides, folks film themselves within the park in front of others all the time, so all we’d have to do is convince the employees that we’re not using our equipment for industry-level purposes.

Also, when Vernon is not around and it’s just me with my crewmates, we tend to call our hotheaded boss “Venom Diesel” behind his back because he’s venomous like a snake. He spits like one too when he gets pissed. If our first day of shooting doesn’t turn out to be worth all the trouble that I’ve dealt with since those two months, then I already know what I’m going to do about this dead-end job.

“At least you were generous enough to pay for our admissions since you have been underpaying us since these past few months,” Matthew uttered.

“I already told you,” Vernon caterwauled, “you will get your raise if you can do yourself a fine job editing the footage that we’ll come back with.”

“Whatever you frigging say,” Matthew jeered under his breath.

“My man is right,” Shawn added. “We all agreed to arrange today to start filming this shit for you and cut off of our own that we had for the day. So you should treat us with respect and we’ll do the same.”

“Don’t you need more than a crew for something like this?” Iris questioned. “Do you even have actors or a script for them to follow?”

“Don’t worry about all that,” Vernon reassured. “I’ve got everything under control. Alright, that’ll be enough arguing with the director, Pisstopia will be opening its gate any minute, so we leave to start shooting now.”

 “Now?” Iris repeated.

“Yes, now!” Vernon barked. “Just take all the gear that we need and then we’ll take our asses to Pisstopia, and I swear to God if any of you forgets to bring something important for our recording, you’re fucking fired. Post-hate.”

“Excuse me, are we not supposed to raise suspicions from the Blisstopia staff?” Cole pointed out. “It doesn’t feel discreet for us to show up at the gates with our stuff ahead of time.”

The boorish director gave a sigh and responded by saying, “Fine, we’ll kill a few minutes.”

After all that bickering, we all left from our parking spot and went over to the Blisstopia gates about ten minutes after the park opened. We arrived at around 9:12 AM. Hauling most of our film equipment behind our backs, we met up with a gate attendant, our first hurdle in the production of Vernon’s film, or as I should call it by his working title, “The Forbidden Neverland.” Yeah, if that title sounds pretentious, that’s because it is. Even though I’m newer than my colleagues Iris, Matt, and Shawn in the filmmaking gig, it’s important that I document as much about our experience with Venom during this one day of filming as possible.

“Welcome to Blisstopia,” said the ticket attendant, “do you each have your admissions?”

“Indeed I have them right here,” Vernon said, pulling out five admission tickets and showing his firmly gripped hand with them in front of the employee. “We’re a party of five, and it’s all on me.”

“Do you all mind if I ask what you all got on your persons?” The attendant inquired, referring to the crew’s gear packs they were carrying.

“We’re all just carrying equipment for our organizer, Vernon,” Cole acknowledged, “and I’d like to say on his behalf that he won’t be filming the park in vain and it will be for a personal cause, so I request that we’re not made responsible if Vernon were to commit any sort of misconduct with our goods.”

“Sorry to say, but you all may hold accountability if you lot are not going to pay for your admissions separately,” the attendant pointed out.

“I understand,” Cole responded. “What do you say about that, Vernon?”

“We’ll consent to your park guidelines, so there’s no need to worry,” Vernon said to the gate attendant.

“Alright then, you can all enter the park now. Have a nice day,” the attendant finished.

Have a nice day, he says. Have a nice day!? The nerve the guy has to tell me to have a nice day when I’m living in a miserable wasteland of corporate indoctrination. He may as well be just another victim to ‘the Mongoose.’

We took our first steps inside the theme park and of course, Vernon’s first cue after sneaking our filmmaking gear inside the park was to scramble with his pack and take out his PoGo camera. He also had us pull out the rest of our stuff without giving us an official word that he was going to shoot the first scene on the very spot.

“I have taken my first steps inside the magic kingdom of Blisstopia since after reports of paranormal activity,” Vernon monologues through his camera. “So I can expose Bliss for their dark, hidden truths, I have taken the opportunity to record footage of my findings within the park. However, it looks I’ve already encountered one of the park’s peculiarities. Several park guests appear to be coughing up a storm, suggesting that a virus has spread across the park, and rumors say that it goes by the name of…Bonaparte’s Disease. I’ve heard that it could be terminal, so I have to keep my distance from others.”

As first order of business from our “good ol’ director,” he requested that we take shots of the scenes at different angles and make coughing noises, making the guests surrounding us exchange weird looks in the process. As this method clearly didn’t work, Venom resorted to asking strangers if he could record them doing their best severe coughs. Just like that, he already broke one of the park’s rules, but since this occurrence was brief, the onlookers forget about this quickly afterwards and continued on with our jobs like normal.

Sounds like Vernon could’ve done the deed of hiring a group of actors for such incidents (and they would pay for their admissions to the park separately, which is a fair compromise for them, the director, and his crew), and he could’ve had a script written out for his flick, but as you can already tell, that’s not the case with his artistic vision. So…get this: since Vernon didn’t want have to deal with having to pay each actor, he’s considered a different strategy by scouting for strangers around the park for actors. This, of course, is a bad idea on his part as asking for strangers to take part in his film without a go-ahead could lead to potential lawsuits if “The Forbidden Neverland” was to be released to the public, and not just for capturing footage of Blisstopia unauthorized. When I asked Vernon about this hindrance, he grasped at straws to defend his decisions by saying that he could just leave all the other actors uncredited. So according to his logic, resort to blacklisting when in doubt. Yeah, I’m “confident" that will make Venom look like a reliable director.

As for why he chose to have The Forbidden Neverland acted out without a script, Venom asserts that it’s so he could capture an authentic-feeling found footage horror experience. So right now, we’re just walking straight across the park while Vernon had his eyes focused on filming his surroundings until he could find some people he felt would be good for his film, but not before commenting on the guests lined up in queues for rides on-camera, referring to them as, in his own words, “synchronically marching in line like a bunch of stoned retards.” Thereafter, I scolded Vernon for his derogatory language, but again, he defends himself and tells me that it’s not meant to be taken seriously.

Vernon and his crew eventually stumbled across a couple of young girls in their teens. Before approaching them, Vernon remarked, “Looks like we’ve found a couple of good-looking chicks for the younger demographic.”

“Jesus Christ, please don’t tell me that you’re thinking of grooming a couple of teenagers for your own advantage,” Cole commented.

“Hey, it isn’t grooming if it’s for artistic and authentic purposes,” Vernon argued. “I am a post-modern artist, and don’t you forget that.”

“How are we going to get a couple of strangers to agree to be in your film anyway?” Shawn pointed out. “We don’t owe them shit.”

“Like I’ve been saying, I know what I am doing.”

Trust me when I say that this will be Vernon’s justification for just about everything he’s doing with the whole filmmaking process and trust me when I say that you’ll be annoyed by it sooner than later.

“Hello, over here!” Vernon said as he approached the teenaged pair, viewing them while holding his portable video camera. “I have a favor to ask you both. Would you mind if I try to explain it for a few minutes?”

The two teenagers were hesitant to speak at first before replying to Vernon nervously, “Um…okay.”

“Good.” Vernon continued. “I’m a filmmaker, and I need a couple of actors for it, and so hope it wouldn’t be so strange of me to be asking permission for a couple of strangers like you both to be filmed for my project. All I’m going to do is that I’m going to have you take us to a few Blisstopia rides.”

“Shouldn’t we be asking for their names first?” Iris pointed out. “This The Forbidden Neverland film may be revolving around you, but that doesn’t mean that no else should get any credit for it.” She whispers to the director as she says this.

“What our director meant to say was that he would like to film you both for his independent film, which he does not intend to publicize,” Cole chimed in. “If you would agree to that, then feel free to tell us your names. Vernon Diesel is the director, I’m Cole Snap, she’s Iris Lensing, he’s Shawn Cameron, and he’s Matthew Shutter.”

“I’m Victoria, and this is my sister Charlotte.” One of the teenagers spoke.

“So, what’s in it for us?” Charlotte asked.

“What would you say if we told you that we’ll make sure that Vernon doesn’t have his camera on at all times while you both escort us to some of the rides?” Cole offered. “It would mean us so much if you don’t speak of this to the park staff, since we’re only filming the park out of obligation for Vernon.”

“We have to meet back with our parents before noon. We’ll do whatever this is if you promise us to mind our own time.” Victoria said.

“Then I promise that our little rendezvous will be quick and you’ll return to your family in time,” Vernon avowed. “Just tell us where you both want to go and we’ll follow.”

“I’ve found these two young and attractive girls at the park.” Vernon monologues in-character while doing his usual filming. “It is a risk to follow them in such a cursed place, but it is a risk I must take to figure out the secrets that have been kept by Arnold Bliss and his company. They could be infected with Bonaparte’s Disease so I must keep my distance.”

After we found the two teen-aged sisters, we’ve agreed to do what they’ve wanted to do at the park for all the time that we’ve had available with them until they were off the clock. Venom had planned to take us and the teenagers to about five rides, but the couple bought us time to condense the number of rides we could go on by playing some midway games that were close to us. It mattered to us that they were having a good time, so we obliged and in our best attempts to have Vernon keep his temper and patience, we convinced him to oblige too. This was a rare tolerable experience from that day as Vernon’s determination to have the filmmaking process go his way had him win a stuffed giraffe for the teen-aged sisters.

Eventually, the teenagers decided to take us on some of the rides, but of course Venom’s patience was still wearing thin as we had to face the inevitable horror of waiting in line. During this time, Vernon suggested he would lie his way into getting in front of the line by saying he has AIDS and the teenagers are his daughters/caregivers. We prevented that by reminding Vernon that we would risk getting removed from the park for fraud. We were only able to spare time together with Victoria and Charlotte to get on two rides. The wait for the first one lasted about 20 minutes while the wait for the second one was around 35 minutes. The first ride we went on was a spinning teacup ride, and things were tame there, but we’ve dealt with complaints of disruptive behavior on Vernon’s part after we rode on a rollercoaster, in form of a train ride through the mountains.

What went down during that ride was that Venom started a brief scare, screaming that someone’s head came off as soon as the train entered the tunnel. It was dark, so no one was able tell the staff that he was the one who made such commotion. So for that reason, and because no one really got hurt, we were let off easy. Victoria and Charlotte would then leave to return to their parents as our time with them had run out, so now our director has to find a new group of strangers for his film, and that was when he decided to stumble upon a certain family…

“Holy shit, that woman’s tits are as big as her fucking head,” Vernon remarked towards the mother of a group of three others: her husband, her daughter, and her son. “I shouldn’t miss an opportunity like this.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to ask them to be filmed,” Iris suggested.

“Excuse me, who’s the director here?” Vernon retorted. “I get to call the shots and you don’t.”

So of course we did approach the family, but we had to let Venom know that we need to ask them for their names before we could ask for their permission to be part of The Forbidden Neverland, and therefore end up in an awkward conversation where we try to convince the family that we’re doing nothing more than personal work, as they clearly do not trust a man they don’t know asking for them to be filmed. It’s something that you have to deal with when one of the members of your group, like Vernon, has absolutely no filter. After asking for their names, we came to known them as the Dolan family. Margaret is the wife, Booker is the husband, and the kids are named Catherine and Cory respectively, and they looked to be no older than six.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all,” Vernon was saying, “Now that we know each other, what do you folks say to playing a role in the movie I’m making?”

The kids, Catherine and Cory, appeared to be interested, but the parents were very hesitant. Booker responded to Vernon, “We’re here to spend quality time as a family. We don’t owe you any of our damn time.”

“Hey, don’t give me that fucking attitude!” Vernon argued. “This thing I’m making is going to be a big deal and I know you’d want to be part of it.”

“We’re sorry, but you and your production crew should kindly leave,” says Margaret.

“Now listen here,” Vernon continued. “I’m just going to need you to go on rides with me for just an hour or two. I can guarantee that you can enjoy your cultish, religious family ritual after we’re done.”

“Cultish…religious family ritual,” Booker repeated, “What the hell are you talking about?”

 Before the conversation could end, Vernon saw one of the kids, Catherine, making a cough. At that moment, the director saw an opportunity for him to seize, much to the dismay of his crew.

“Oh…there’s one thing you should Mr. and Mrs. Dolan, there’s an illness spreading around the park and I don’t you all…to catch it!” After he finished his sentence, Vernon quickly grabbed a hold of Cory’s left hand and as well as Booker’s right hand, and he went running with his grip on the two Dolans to find a ride while Catherine stood there confused. Margaret also stood motionless, but also feeling aggravated towards Vernon. The cameras from him and his small crew were still filming as all of this was happening.

“You guys go ahead and walk around the park with the mother and daughter!” Vernon called out to his crew. “I’ll come back with these two after I’m done!”

“What the fuck are you doing!?” Booker exclaimed, letting go of Vernon easily while the director continued to run off with the young Cory. “Let go of our son you bastard!”

“If you won’t join in on my film, then I’m going to have to force you to!” Vernon exclaimed. “Besides, you shouldn’t yell in front of your own kid!”

“Son of a bitch,” Matt muttered to himself and went running after Vernon, along with Shawn, leaving Cole and Iris with Margaret and Catherine.

Venom has some nerve to leave us in a situation like this. While he’s forced the father and his son to accompany him by using acting as a ruse, Iris and I have to supervise the other half of the Dolans. We felt so bad for them, so we spoke to the mother in an apologetic matter.

“I am goodness to honestly sorry that this happened,” said Iris.

“Please don’t rat out Iris, Shawn, Matt, and I to the park staff,” Cole pleaded. “We’ll deal with Vernon after he returns with your husband and son. We’re stuck with this job, and you should understand-“

“Why I should I apologize to the both of you when you’re working for him?” Margaret interrupted.

“We don’t like working for him,” said Iris. “If it would make you feel comfortable around us, we’ll at least let you know that we’ve been meaning to quit his project. Trust me when I say that this hasn’t been a good day for us. Let’s go and find someplace where we can talk about this, okay?”

Iris and I took the mother and daughter to a Ferris wheel. Per Venom’s request, I filmed my ride on the wheel so he could have some footage to work with. Iris requested that she, Margaret, and Charlotte would be on the same passenger car. She had a talk with Margaret so she could try and get her to understand, and like that, she was willing to pardon her, me, Shawn, and Matt, but she will rat out Vernon, whatever happens between him, her husband, and her son. During our time with the mother and daughter, Iris was being protective of Charlotte. She has a boyfriend back at home and she’s been thinking about starting a family for quite some time, so that speaks for how trustworthy she is.

It wasn’t long until the others returned, so our time with the Dolans didn’t last very long. Vernon took Booker and Cory to a dark boat ride with animatronics. According to Shawn and Matt, who have been supervising Vernon’s actions, he already made things uncomfortable for the two Dolans by uttering shrieks towards the animatronics, shaking his PoGo around, exclaiming that the ride is possessed by the devil along with some other dumb bullshit. When Vernon met back up with us, Cory was crying. Venom scared him during the ride and he doesn’t seem to understand that.

“You can’t keep up with all this crying, kid,” Vernon says, trying to console Cory. “It was just acting. The ride is over and that’s all that matters now.”

Booker wasn’t hesitant to chew out Vernon, saying to him, “I hope you’re happy for ruining our family trip and traumatizing our son. If you cause any more trouble with us, you’ll have your ass arrested, do you understand that?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course I do,” Vernon replied. “I kept my promise that you can continue your cult activities, so you can go on ahead and leave us now.”

The Dolans left without another word to Vernon and his crew. Cory was still in tears as his parents continued to try and console him. Appropriately, Cole, Iris, Shawn, and Matt all exchanged glares towards Vernon.

“What are you all giving me the damn look for? I got the footage that I needed and that’s what really matters in the end,” Vernon spoke. “I was just acting so-“

“You’re a grown-ass man with kids of your own and you don’t show any empathy for scaring a kid that isn’t even your own?” Shawn uttered.

“I know we’re supposed to be making this film in secret, but that doesn’t mean that you can just-“Cole was saying before Vernon interrupted him.

“I know what I am doing, Jesus FUCK!”

There was no point in arguing with Venom once he starts losing his temper, so we didn’t say anything much until he took us to our next spot. This was the point where my colleagues and I were convinced that we had to bail, but Vernon’s paying for our meals in the park too, so we couldn’t leave until we’ve all had our lunch break. With any luck, Vernon couldn’t possibly make a public scene at a time and place like having lunch al fresco with a lot of other folks. Of course, Vernon even knows when to fuck that up for everyone. He had his PoGo on during lunch, doing a nonsensical monologue for his shitty B-movie when he then had the audacity to say this for everyone else to hear…

“OH MY GOD, THE FOOD IN BLISSTOPIA IS MADE OF PEOPLE WHO DIED FROM BONAPARTE’S DISEASE! Blisstopia is encouraging cannibalism, holy fucking shit!”

The other park guests that were simply enjoying their meals had their appetites ruined by Venom once as he caught their attention. They all went scrambling out of the dining area out of panic like a swarm of insects. That gave us the opportunity to ditch Vernon and so we went running out too, grabbing our pre-paid food with us. I’m confident that Vernon was alone there with the kitchen staff, but he has stuck around inside Blisstopia for longer, so I could assume that he hid after he realized how empty the area was because of the whole scare he caused. I was thinking about how bad I felt towards the chef that witnessed the commotion. He was looking confused yet also annoyed and upset with Vernon at the same time.

After we finished our meals while conceal ourselves from Vernon, who was just about looking from us after realizing he’s lost us, we rushed over to the exit of the park and fled back to Vernon’s trailer. We have families of our own that like to visit Blisstopia every once in a while, so we couldn’t afford getting ratted out and subsequently banned from the park all because of Vernon’s recklessness. We waited for our director to leave the park and return to the parking lot (and to then realize that we’ve ditched him). He was going to super pissed with us, but we didn’t care. We wanted out of his job as soon as possible, and so we spent the next good several hours to vent and anticipate for Venom Diesel’s return.

Shortly after we headed back to the trailer, Iris stepped out for a moment to have a smoke and vent some more about working with Vernon. It broke my heart to see her so stressed out, so I went outside to talk with her.

“I can’t keep dealing with this,” Iris muttered. “I quit, I fucking quit!”

“I feel you,” said Cole. “Venom Diesel has already crossed the line, so we’re going to tell him that we’re leaving him alone because he cares more about his shit film than he cares about us.”

“To be honest, I only stayed so I can see how bad this idea of Vernon’s was going to turn out,” Matt uttered, as he opened the door of the trailer to check on his two colleagues. “We’re definitely not going to be taken back home in here after we break the news to our “all-glorious director,” so I’m going to call my parents to come get me.”

“Yeah, I guess I have no other choice than to phone my folks too,” Cole added.

…That was the end of our stay at Blisstopia for the filming of The Forbidden Neverland, but for Vernon, his drama in Blisstopia continues. When he came back from the park to call us out for betraying him by leaving him there alone, he secured all the footage that details everything else that he did while at the park. We knew what transpired after we watched the footage. We felt sick to our stomachs after seeing the chaos that this man had caused.

Okay, so right now, it’s four in the afternoon and I have to record the rest of the footage that I could get before it’s closing time, and I can’t find my crew anywhere, so I can assume that they went back to my trailer and left me behind. Shit, shit, shit, fucking shit! …No problem, I can do this job all by myself. I have to use my PoGo less now that I have gotten attention from some of the park guests. I just don’t know how they could understand that I’m acting when a camera’s being held right in front of me.

Eventually, I found myself in front of a scene that I could see using for my movie. There’s a group of five Bliss princesses standing outside for a meet-and-greet with families. I shouldn’t disturb this moment, but the show must go on.

“Here I am, standing right in front of the iconic Arnold Bliss princesses,” Vernon monologues in a softer volume than before. “As I could fathom, they are not real princesses, but they’re really a bunch of prostitutes appointed by the North Korean government to acquire information about our country.”

“I beg your pardon?” A park employee accompanied with the princesses questioned.

“I was just thinking out loud, forget about it!” Vernon stammered, as he then runs off from the scene while his PoGo continued filming. That is until he bumps into an overweight guest on a scooter. “You watch where you’re going, you fat-ass!” He snarled.

“No offense, but you wouldn’t be such a klutz if your eyes weren’t so focused on that camera,” the guest remarked. “Improve that attitude of yours while you’re at it.”

“Hey you, I have a question for you!” Vernon continued.

“You talking to me?” The guest asked.

“Yes I am! How does it feel to be indoctrinated by a corporate religion just like Blisstopia?”

“What in the fuck are you talking about?”

“You sir represent the image of ignorance and encouraging corporate greed! You are just another victim of ‘the Mongoose,’ and I can judge by the way look that this is what people who blindly follow the antichrist for most of their lives decay into!”

“You’re a huge psycho, you know that?” The guest coughed after his response. "You should also turn that camera, because if you're filming this in front of me, then you should know what's good for you."

“Oh no, no, no, you’re the one who’s brainwashed crazy by ‘the mongoose,’ and you better keep your germs away from me, because I’m not going to die of Bonaparte’s Disease like everyone else here! By the way, I’m just acting, so don’t take anything I say too seriously!”

Vernon made another run while his PoGo continued to film. Although enraged by the amateur director, the guest in the scooter backed further away from him and continued his business around the park like normal.

As much as I hate to admit this to myself, I should’ve had production for this movie planned out beforehand before I decided to just go for it…

Venom may have already pushed our buttons, but for the employees of the park, it wasn’t until this particular moment where the straw broke the camel’s back. Vernon gave himself the opportunity to film what seemed like was going to be the final scene for his movie, and he decided to make a scene when the mascot of the park, Miles Mongoose, stood up on the castle balcony for everyone to see during the fireworks show, which Blisstopia does to wrap up for the day.

Before the occurrence would take place, the footage starts off with another one of Vernon’s monologues, fake-coughing in-between his words.

“I’ve done all that I could to expose the hidden and dark truths about Blisstopia and the world-renown Arnold Bliss…” Vernon spoke. “I seem to be coming down with Bonaparte’s Disease so I could be dead before someone is unlucky enough to discover my findings…”

It was then that the fireworks show at the kingdom started and the guests situated in the area all gathered around to see the display, anticipating for Miles Mongoose to show in front of the Blisstopia castle to wish them a good night. As Vernon caught a glimpse of the mascot on his PoGo camera, he went ballistic. He shook the camera around while shouting out obscenities. He was in public crowd, so it didn’t take long for all the other guests to notice the commotion.

“Oh shit, oh fuck!” Vernon cried out. “It’s the devil incarnate! He’s come to consume what’s left of my rotting soul! You won’t kill me, you bastard! Stop at looking me, stop, stop, stop, stop!”

For the rest of this moment, Vernon was on the floor, shouting and squirming around like a child throwing a tantrum, while his camera was pointing up at the fireworks in the night sky. Security was situated at the kingdom, so it didn’t take long for them to realize that Vernon was the party pooper of the park.

“Sir…sir…SIR!” Vernon didn’t notice one of the security guards in front of him until he raised his voice. He jumped and stood back up after seeing them. “We’ve gotten complaints from park guests about a man with a video camera disrupting and harassing guests as well as spreading false rumors. We believe you are that person. Please tell us your name.”

“I’m Vernon Diesel,” he said. “What is it that you want from me?”

“So you’re the park guest that we’ve seen one family mention to us,” the guard continued. “They said that you were harassing them and that you’ve separated them and filmed them without asking for their permission. Vernon Diesel, you’ve violated this park’s code of conduct, so you must leave the park immediately.”

“Are you kidding me?” Vernon asked in a bewildered tone. “I was reminding the guests that I was just acting for something personal that I’m working on!”

“We will not hear any excuses that you may have. You still violated the park policies. If you could just come with us, we’ll have you registered as one of our guests we can no longer allow to visit this park, and we will also have to confiscate your camera and erase all the film that you’ve recorded of yourself causing trouble. After all that’s taken care of, you can leave.”

Vernon was very hesitant to give up the PoGo to park security (which, of course, was still filming). He growled at them almost like a wild animal and said, “No! I won’t let you take away what’s mine! I took big risks and worked my fucking ass off to capture all this footage! Someday you will regret that you’ve crossed me, and I will be the one who still succeeds in the end! I’ll even find out where your corporate cult keeps the frozen head of Arnold Bliss, fingers crossed!”

The security guards missed the chance to seize Vernon as he started to sprint his way out of the park, and in front of a crowd filled with people just getting ready to leave. Vernon ran like he never did before. The PoGo stopped recording after security cleared their trail on him. This marked the end of the footage before Vernon returned to his trailer, appearing in front of his crew stark raving mad.

Venom explained all that happened while we left him at the park after we watched the footage he recorded. He was standing right in front of us, so it was easy for us to assume that park security gave up on apprehending him due to the crowd. We were now ready to confess the cold hard truth to him.

“Vernon, there’s something that we need to tell you,” Cole spoke.

“Oh yeah, because you guys definitely have a lot of explaining to do!” Vernon sneered. “Why the fuck would you all betray me by leaving me behind at Pisstopia when I still needed y’all!?”

“Because we’re all quitting production on your lame-ass “The Forbidden Neverland” film,” Cole punctuated the title of said film with air quotes.

“So you’re quitting because you can’t handle how I’m doing this job, huh?” Vernon argued. “Well guess what, you can’t quit because you’re all fired!”

“Fine, it’s not like that’s going to change anything for us,” Shawn quipped.

“Now you’re all fired, I have one last request, and that is to give me back my video camera.”

While the crew still had their hands on Vernon’s PoGo camera, Matt did the deed of erasing all the footage (and as well as on other PoGo cameras) before tossing it back to the director. Realizing that it was all gone, Vernon, predictably, began to lose his rag.

“You…FUCKING ASSHOLES!” In a fit of rage, Vernon started throwing furniture at his crew, while they each tried to dodge each object thrown at them – glass plates, alcohol bottles, our now-damaged film equipment, screwdrivers, wrenches, a kettle, and as well as a baseball bat. “GET OUT OF MY FUCKING TRAILER YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! You shitheads have no fucking idea how important this goddamn film is to me!”

“If it’s about how rough your childhood was or your time was at Blisstopia, then I don’t want to hear any more of it,” Shawn responded. “I’ve dealt with some serious shit during my childhood too and you don’t see me holding some dumbass grudge over it.”

“The problem here has nothing to do with us or whatever excuses you may have,” Iris spoke. “It’s you, and there’s no one to blame besides yourself, you ungrateful little shit.”

“Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch!” Vernon shouted towards Iris. “Just fucking leave already, I don’t need any of you! You can just sit around in the parking lot out in the cold night without anyone to ride you back home! I don’t care what happens to any of you!”

"You keep being that way then," Iris replied in a solemn tone, "try and tell us that you're just acting too, but we're not going to buy it."

“It’s no wonder you got kicked out of Blisstopia,” says Cole. “All those folks thought you were some schizophrenic maniac. You used the “I’m acting” defense as your excuse and yet your film’s character feels no different from you, so you can’t go denying it. As hard as it may be for you to deal with it, you don’t deserve you keep any your footage, so good friggin’ luck trying to start over from scratch.”

“Hey, you know what’s else?” Shawn said, holding a flash drive in front of the disgruntled director. “It turns we did forget something for the filming. So much for backing up your footage, you know what I'm saying?” Afterwards, he tosses the flash drive at Vernon.

“Hey, the guy does have a point though, we should just leave,” Matt pointed out. “We can’t keep giving this asshole any more of our attention that he wants. Also, we do have a ride, so you should know that there’s no use arguing with us, Venom Diesel.”

“No one will miss your ass,” Shawn finished towards Vernon.

Before Vernon’s now-former crew would open up the door on the way out, Matt would exchange a double middle finger gesture towards Vernon. Before he knew it, they were all gone and out of his sight after they’ve hitched their own rides. All alone, Vernon continued with his screaming and trashing his trailer out of rage until he was too overwhelmed by his anger. All he could do for the rest of the night was to think over what he did.

Maybe I am mental. Maybe I am a huge fucking idiot. Maybe I do need help with myself. All that matters now is that I still have a dream in my mind, and that is filming and finishing my movie and I’m not going to let anyone get in the way of my goal. Damn, what do I even do at this point now?

What did I even do to deserve all this?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now