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Everything posted by JCM

  1. Since Flash died a couple of weeks ago, I've converted many of the games to the Flash emulator Ruffle so they'll still work in your browser. The games that actually work in Ruffle have been separated for your convenience: You can find the page again at this link if you lost it for some reason. Please, test the games out as much as possible and let me know if there are any glitches that weren't there before. If Ruffle ever does expand support for games made in newer versions of Flash, I'll make sure to let you know here. Happy gaming!
  2. JCM


    JCM Kills a Bill (Clappy walks into his history class with the anthopomorphic bill from Schoolhouse Rock.) Clappy: Hey, everyone! Since we've been talking about US politics, I brought in a special guest! Bill, introduce yourself. Bill: (singing) I'm just a bill. Yes, I'm only a bill, and I was languishing on Capitol Hill... (Clappy is nodding and snapping his fingers.) Bill: (singing) When a bunch of fucking assholes came to burn the place down. I was barely able to escape from all of those clowns. And that's how I ended up in here! (imrustyokay raises his hand.) Bill: Am I supposed to...call on him? Clappy: Yeah, that's generally what we do. imrustyokay: What exactly do you do, bill? Bill: I make healthcare free for all Americans. imrustyokay: So you have no chance of ever becoming a law? Bill: Pretty much. (JCM runs into the classroom.) Clappy: JCM, what are you doing here? JCM: I was sent by Mitch McConnell! He told me that a socialist bill escaped the Capitol, and I needed to bring it back so it could be put out of its misery! (The bill grabs imrustyokay and puts a knife to his throat.) Bill: Don't come any closer! I refuse to meet my demise to the Grim Reaper! (The Grim Reaper strolls into the classroom.) Grim Reaper: Did somebody say my name? Bill: I wasn't talking about you! Get the fuck out! Nobody likes you! (The Grim Reaper leaves the room sadly.) Clappy: Come on, bill. You're a talking piece of paper. You know nobody can take what you're doing seriously. Bill: You're one to talk, you Hamburger Helper-looking motherfucker! Clappy: The fuck did you just call me? (Clappy takes out a lighter.) Bill: Put that thing anywhere near me and the kid dies! imrustyokay: (crying) Please do what the bill wants! Clappy: (puts lighter away) Okay, what do you want? Bill: I want a ticket to Canada! They fuck with socialized healthcare up there! (Clappy nods to JCM, and JCM hurries out of the room.) Clappy: That it? Bill: Yeah, that should do. (JCM returns minutes later.) JCM: One free ticket to Canada! (The bill snatches the ticket out of JCM's hands while still holding imrustyokay.) Bill: Hmm...seems legit. (The bill drops a terrified imrustyokay and leaves the classroom.) imrustyokay: You...you're just going to let that monster walk free? JCM: Of course not! That ticket to "Canada" is actually going straight to Washington, D.C.! (Hours later, the bill walks into the Washington Dulles International Airport.) Bill: Wait a minute...I know this place! (A turtle approaches the bill, licking its lips.) Bill: Mitch! Please! Don't! Turtle: Don't worry, bill. You won't feel a thing. Bill: You're lying! Turtle: Okay...you'll feel it a bit...but I don't give a fuck. (The bill tries to run away, but the turtle extends its tongue like a frog's and wraps it around the bill. The turtle then pulls its tongue back into its mouth and swallows the bill.) Turtle: (burps) The deed is done. (The turtle looks around at the people staring at him in the airport.) Turtle: The fuck are y'all looking at? (The End)
  3. JCM


    JCM Un-ironically Saves a Superhero (Again (in HD!)) (JCM is in Fred's English class.) Fred: Today, we're going to learn about irony. Can anybody here give an example of something ironic? (dmandaman raises his hand.) Fred: dman? dmandaman: When it rains on your wedding day? Fred: No, you fucking idiot. That's coincidence. JCM: Don't swear at students, Fred. Fred: What the FUCK are you doing in my classroom? JCM: jjs gave me the day off teaching PE so I could monitor the other teachers and write a report for the state superintendent. Fred: Couldn't they have given the job to somebody else? Like, anybody else? JCM: I was the only person the superintendent trusted to write an accurate report. Fred: Fuck the superintendent, and fuck you too! (JCM starts writing.) Fred: No...don't write that...goddamn it. I'm a year away from tenure. I don't need this shit. (Suddenly, a man wearing a mask jumps into the classroom from an open window.) Man: AAAH! I'm the Open Window Maniac! (The students start talking to each other loudly.) Fred: Shut the fuck up! I mean, shut the heck up! Bro, this is too hard. (Fred stares at the man in the mask.) Fred: And who the hell are you supposed to be? Man: Like I just said, I'm the Open Window Manic, but you can call me OWM for short. Fred: I'm not going to do that. Whoever you are, get out of my classroom, and that goes for you too, JCM. JCM: Wait, the Open Window Manic? I read about you in the newspaper yesterday! dmandaman: They still make newspapers? JCM: You've been terrorizing open windows all around Circuit City! OWM: (blushes) I'm happy you appreciate my work. What are you doing tonight? Fred: Go flirt somewhere else! I have a class to teach! (The next morning, HawkbitAlpha, Lightning McStorm, and Patback walk out of a smoothie shop together. They see Person walking towards them, and they immediately walk in the other direction.) Person: Hey, guys! Wait up! HawkbitAlpha: Oh! Person! We, uh...we didn't notice you! Person: It's been forever! How have you guys been? Patback: We've been okay...I guess. Person: So, what are y'all about to do? I'd love to join! HawkbitAlpha: Uh...we'd rather you not. Person: Why not? I'm reformed, just like you guys! Lightning McStorm: I...highly doubt that. Person: Fuck you! I'll show I'm a good guy now! I'll...I'll bring back Superhero! Patback: That alter ego of yours nobody likes? HawkbitAlpha: As somebody who used to love taking on other identities, it doesn't matter who you become if who you are is a piece of shit. Person: You're wrong! I'm going to become Superhero, I'm going to beat up some bad guys, and people will love me again! (Person runs away in tears.) Lightning McStorm: Person's going to get himself killed. What do we do? HawkbitAlpha: He probably won't listen to any of us, but maybe there is somebody he'll listen to. (A few hours later, Person is in his apartment, watching the news in a Superman costume that is clearly too small for him now.) Reporter: This just in, the Open Window Maniac has struck again, this time at an apartment building on the corner of 4th and 8th street. Person: Wait...that's my apartment building! (Person looks out of his open window and finds OWM crawling out of the window of an apartment a few floors below him.) Person: Hey! OWM: (looks up) Hey! What's up? Person: You're a bad guy! OWM: Yeah, I guess I am! (Person sees a tree branch across from him and takes a few steps back before running, jumping, and grabbing onto the tree branch.) Person: Success! (The tree branch breaks, causing him to fall to the ground hard on his back.) OWM: (laughs) That was funny! Remember to close your window, or I'll be paying you a visit tonight. Person: (crying) Fuck you! (OWM drives away in his car, and Person forces himself onto his feet, limps to his car, and gets in before speeding after OWM.) OWM: (notices Person in the rearview mirror) What the fuck? (OWM tries to lose Person, but Person remains on his tail. OWM abandons his original destination and heads for the SpongeBob Community School with Person still behind him. Once they reach the school, JCM and HawkbitAlpha walk out.) JCM: OWM? I thought we agreed last night that you weren't going to hit the school anymore. OWM: I'm not. I hoped you could do something about this clown in a Superman costume. JCM: Person? How ironic! We were just talking about him! HawkbitAlpha: JCM, I think that's coincidence. JCM: Who cares? Irony and coincidence are basically the same thing anyway! HawkbitAlpha: They really aren't. Person: What the fuck is this conversation? (points to OWM) You need to stop going into open windows this instant! OWM: If you don't want me to go into your building's open windows anymore, you can pay me off like JCM and dozens of others before him did. Person: Never! (Person runs towards OWM, and OWM shoots him in the chest twice.) JCM: No! (JCM grabs Person before he hits the ground. Person coughs up blood.) JCM: I tried to save you! I tried! Person: Well...you failed. (Person dies in JCM's arms.) OWM: You...both saw him try to assault me, right? JCM: I also saw you commit several acts of trespassing. OWM: Touché. (OWM gets into his car and drives off.) HawkbitAlpha: I'll...leave you to this. (HawkbitAlpha gets into his car and drives off. A few minutes later, jjs comes out of the school.) jjs: JCM, dump that asshole's body in a river somewhere and come back! I don't pay you to loaf around! JCM: Sorry, Mr. theprincipal! (The End)
  4. Added two new winter games: SpongeBob Snowshredder and Winter Run-derland. I also got a request for Soccer Shootout by email, so that's been added too. If there are any games you remember playing that aren't on the site, let me know, because you have just over a month left to play it now.
  5. I've added 30 new games to the Games page, with alternating red and green colors for Christmas/winter themed games. There's just under two months to play these games before the death of Flash, so make sure you get on those as soon as possible if there's a few you're just dying to play. In addition, the new SpongeBob movie will be streamed on Discord tonight at 7 PM EST, so make sure to join us for that!
  6. The surprise is 3 new Halloween themed games and 30 non-Halloween games added to SBC's games page! The Halloween games are in orange. The rest of the games I've saved will be added to the page by the start of November, giving everybody two months to play the games before Flash is killed and the page goes into limbo.
  7. Temporarily reviving this to let you all know I'll be streaming the first episode of The Mandalorian's second season in the SBC Discord tomorrow at 3 PM EST (or 12 hours after it's officially released). I'll also post a surprise in this thread shortly after the screening (unless I forgot, which I probably will).
  8. JCM


    JCM Goes on a Wild Kev Hunt (JCM walks into jjs' office.) jjs: Hey, JCM! Great job teaching PE! None of the kids have broken any bones yet, so you're already doing better than drag usually does at this point of the school year! JCM: Thanks! jjs: Anyway, since you have no other classes today, I wanted you to do something for me. One of our students, kev, hasn't showed up in almost a week, and as you know, our state funding comes per student, so we can't have anyone going missing that long without an excuse. JCM: What do you want me to do about it? (jjs takes a rifle out from under his desk. JCM gasps.) jjs: Don't worry! This is just a tranquilizer gun. I need you to bring kev back to school, by force if necessary. If he isn't in Clappy's third period history class, we'll be forced to count him absent for the fifth straight day, which means we'll no longer be able to make money from him. JCM: Or expand his mind with the gift of education? jjs: Yeah, but mostly make money from him. Now, chop chop! Third period begins in an hour! JCM: You've got it! (JCM runs into the door and falls to the ground. When he gets back up, his lips are swollen.) jjs: You okay? JCM: Yeah, I'll be alwight. jjs: Uh, make sure that you remember how door handles work. JCM: Aye aye, sow! jjs: You mean "sir"? JCM: That's what I said, isn't it? (JCM leaves the office.) jjs: Why do I get the feeling this will be a clusterfuck? (JCM, wearing a hunter's hat and hunter's jacket, tiptoes into the mall. He turns to one of the vendors.) JCM: Shh. Be vewwy vewwy quiet. I'm hunting twuants. Vender: (looks both ways) Okay? (JCM notices kev walking into a comic book shop. He goes in after kev. After looking through the latest issue of Batman But He Kills People And Really Really Hates Muslims (written by Frank Miller), he lowers the comic book to find JCM pointing his tranquilizer gun at kev's face.) JCM: Now listen, you awe gonna come back with me to the SpongeBob Community School, or I'll dwag you there knocked out. kev: Fuck off, old man! JCM: Option 2, then. (kev ducks just as JCM shoots the tranquilizer dart, causing him to knock out the owner of the comic book shop instead.) kev: Cool! Now I don't have to pay for this! (kev jumps onto JCM's tranquilizer gun just as he shoots another dart, hops over JCM, and leaves the store holding the comic he was reading.) JCM: You come back hewe, and you pay for that book! (JCM chases kev through the mall, but kev loses him a few minutes later.) JCM: Whewe is that wascaly twuant? (kev taps JCM's shoulder from behind, and when JCM turns around, kev kisses him before punching him with a fist covered by a boxing glove.) kev: Best $12 I ever spent. (kev's punch sends JCM flying to the other side of the mall, and after he lands, he gets back up with tiny birds flying around his head.) JCM: You haven't seen the last of JCM: Twuant Huntew! (As kev walks out of the mall, laughing, JCM catches up with him again, pointing his tranquilizer gun at kev's face again with a furious expression on his own face.) JCM: You could have made this easy for me. You could have just come back to the school with me, but no! You had to make it hawd for me! And now...I'll make it hawd for you. kev: (nervous) B-be careful how you're pointing that. JCM: Shut up! (JCM shoves the tranquilizer gun into kev's face, and he falls to the ground dramatically.) JCM: K-kev? (JCM kneels beside kev, whose eyes are closed and whose tongue is sticking out of his mouth.) JCM: Oh, no! I killed him! I killed him for skipping school! What's wong with me? (JCM starts crying. kev opens one eye before closing it shut again.) JCM: I'm a monstew! I don't desewve to teach kids! All kev wanted to do was have some fun, and I muwdewed him for it! kev: (whispering) Come closer. JCM: kev? (JCM gets closer to him.) kev: Closer. (JCM gets even closer) kev: Closer. (JCM gets so close that his ear is right in front of kev's mouth.) kev: (screaming) I'M NOT DEAD YOU FUCKING IDIOT! (JCM is so startled that he drops his tranquilizer gun, and kev picks it up before pointing it at JCM.) kev: (in bad Austrian accent) Hasta la vista, baby. (kev shoots a dart into JCM's neck, and when JCM wakes up, he's in Clappy's third period history class.) Clappy: kev? JCM: (slurred) Here. Clappy: (shrugs) Good enough. (Clappy puts a check beside kev's name on the attendance sheet before moving on.) JCM: That's all, folks. (passes out again) (The End)
  9. Patrick Starts a Talk Show Announcer: Welcome to The Patrick Star Show! Here's your host: Patrick Star! (The crowd cheers as Patrick walks into the stage.) Patrick: Thank you, thank you! We've got an amazing show for you tonight! Lincoln Loud is here! (The crowd goes wild.) Patrick: But first: a couple of jokes! (The crowd goes wild.) Patrick: I...haven't actually gotten to the jokes yet. (The crowd goes wild.) Patrick: Let me actually tell some jokes before you start laughing! (The crowd goes wild.) Patrick: That's it! (Patrick takes out a flamethrower and burns the entire audience to a crisp.) Patrick: Now that I can hear myself think... (Patrick takes a piece of paper out of his pocket.) Patrick: Knock knock! (Lincoln Loud, star of the hit Nickelodeon series The Loud House, walks onto the stage.) Lincoln: Who's there? (Patrick fries Lincoln with his flamethrower.) Patrick: Don't interrupt! (As Lincoln turns to ashes, Patrick turns his paper around.) Patrick: I forgot the punchline. (What a twist!)
  10. JCM


    85. Post Fiction Film: Pulp Fiction post /ˈpōst / n. 1. a piece (as of timber or metal) fixed firmly in an upright position especially as a stay or support 2. something (such as a message) that is published online Cha and Local, a pair of career criminals, are at a coffee shop, discussing what place they'll hit next. Cha gets the idea to rob the coffee shop, and Local agrees, so they take our their guns and stick the coffee shop up. Suddenly, we're in a car, and mobsters Clappy and Aquatic Nuggets are talking about what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France as they prepare to shake down some kids in a high-rise apartment for an item of value they stole from jjstheboss. Once they get to the room with the kids, the kids are clearly nervous, and Nuggets asks one of the kids what he's eating. He says he's eating a Krabby Patty, and Nuggets asks if he can try it, since he's never had one before. The kid, still nervous, agrees to let him try it, and Nuggets takes a big bite out of the Krabby Patty before asking Clappy what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France again. Clappy responds "Royale with Cheese", and everybody in the room laughs. Nuggets drinks the Sprite in the kid's cup, and then he asks another kid where he put the shit he stole from them. The kid points to the cupboard, and Clappy retrieves a suitcase with a mysterious glowing object inside from it. The kid who had the Krabby Patty apologizes to Nuggets, and Nuggets responds by shooting one of the kids in the chest. The kid with the Krabby Patty then begs Nuggets to spare his life. Nuggets recites a Bible verse about vengeance before riddling the kid with bullets, as Clappy joins him. Clappy and Katie jjstheboss is with OMJ in a bar he owns, paying him a lot of money for a secret mission. Clappy and Nuggets walk into the bar, and the bar's manager tells them to wait until jjs and OMJ are finished. As OMJ approaches Clappy, Clappy insults him, and he leaves a bewildered OMJ at the front of the bar as he meets with jjs. Clappy, preparing for a not-a-date he has with jjs' daughter, Katie, shoots up some heroin at 4EverGreen's place. He then goes to Katie's house, and Katie plays games with an intercom before finally meeting him in the living room. Katie convinces him to take her to a disco place, despite disco going out of fashion 40 years ago. They have a long, intense conversation before getting onto the dance floor and dancing like they're in Footloose (get it? cause clappy is john travolta here? no? ok then). When they're finished, Clappy drives Katie back home, and she convinces him to stay and have a drink with her. Clappy reluctantly agrees to do so, but first, he locks himself into the restroom to remind himself not to do anything that will piss jjstheboss off. As Katie dances with herself in the living room, she finds Clappy's stash of heroin, and thinking it's cocaine, she snorts it all, causing her to have a seizure and pass out. Clappy leaves the restroom to find Katie overdosed on his heroin, and realizing that killing his daughter would piss jjs off a lot, he calls 4EG, who wants nothing to do with it. Clappy drives Katie to 4EG's house anyway, and after yelling at Clappy, 4EG feels her pulse, confirming both of their worst fears. 4EG looks for a way to bring Katie back from the dead in a book of spells passed to him by his great-great-great-great-Greenfather. 4EG finds a pathway to abilities some would consider to be unnatural, and he uses them to turn Katie into a vampire. As Clappy drives Katie back home, Katie complains about a strong thirst, and Clappy tells her to drink some water when she gets home and never talk to him again. The Gold Watch OMJ is remembering a gold watch his father left him before dying in the Great Flame Wars of 2012 as he prepares for a boxing match. OMJ accidentally kills his opponent in the match, leading to the WWE getting future endeavored and jjs, who had money riding on OMJ losing the match, getting really pissed off. OMJ takes a cab to a hideout, where Aya is waiting for him with everything she saved from their apartment. OMJ looks through their items, but he doesn't see the gold watch among them, causing him to flip shit. He asks Aya what happened to the gold watch he specifically told her to bring back, and Aya, terrified, doesn't give a definite answer. OMJ drives back to his apartment, cursing Aya for not bringing the thing he cared most about. He goes into his apartment as carefully as he can before tiptoeing to his room and grabbing the gold watch. Before he leaves, he makes a bowl of OMJ-O's (the official cereal of everybody's favorite WWE fighter!) and notices a rifle sitting on his counter. He grabs the rifle as Clappy walks out of a nearby restroom, and before Clappy can respond, OMJ says, "Yippee Ki Yay, motherfucker," and shoots him in the chest. OMJ wipes his prints from the rifle and leaves the apartment. As he drives back to the hideout, jjs walks through a crosswalk right in front of him and stops, making OMJ immediately. OMJ floors it, rolling jjs over his car, and another car crashes into him seconds later. jjs is lying on the street unconscious. Bystanders wake him up and point out OMJ, who's sitting in his car covered in blood as people help him. Jjs pulls out his gun and shoots at OMJ, killing one of the people helping him instead, and OMJ manages to escape. jjs follows him into a thrift store, and OMJ surprises him, beating him half to death and taking his gun before the man behind the counter points a gun at him, forcing him to throw his own gun away before the man knocks OMJ out. A few hours later, the man wakes OMJ and jjs up in the thrift store's basement. Both of them are gagged and tied to a chair. The man picks jjs up in his chair and takes him to a separate room, where another man, wearing nothing but a ski mask, is waiting for him. Now by himself in the basement, OMJ summons all of his wrestler strength to break the rope tying him to his chair. He heads for the exits, but then he remembers jjs, and he grabs a sword mounted in the thrift store before going back downstairs. He opens the door to the secret room to find the men violating jjs, and he uses the sword to cut them into tiny pieces. As he frees jjs from his chair, jjs thanks him and promises not to pursue him anymore if he leaves town and never mentions what he just saw to anyone. OMJ agrees to his terms, and they go their separate ways. As OMJ limps back to his hideout, he notices a drop of blood on his father's gold watch, and he wipes it off with his shirt. The Negi Situation As Nuggets and Clappy are shooting that kid who was eating a Krabby Patty, JCM (in a cameo) jumps out of the restroom and shoots at them several times. Every shot misses, however, and they kill JCM quickly. The only kid left in the room is cowering in the corner. Clappy asks him why he didn't tell them about JCM, and Nuggets looks at the holes in the wall behind him with astonishment. He tells Clappy that only an act of God could have saved them, but Clappy has his doubts. As they drive away from the apartment with the last kid, Clappy and Nuggets continue their theological discussion. and Clappy turns around to get the kid's opinion on the matter, waving his gun around until he accidentally shoots the kid in the face, splattering his brains on the windshield. Nuggets yells at Clappy for messing up his car and committing the sin of murder. Clappy asks them if there's anywhere they can store the car while they wait for reinforcements, and Nuggets can only think of one person to call: SpongeBob's #1 Fan. They park the car in SBAP's garage, and SBAP yells at them, telling them to get rid of the dead body before his wife, NegiSpongie, gets home. Nuggets calls jjs, and jjs tells him not to worry because Wumbo, North America's greatest fixer, is on the way to fix their shit. Wumbo comes into SBAP's house and tells Clappy, Nuggets, and SBAP everything they'll need to do to get their situation sorted out before Negi comes home. Clappy and Nuggets are forced to clean the kid's remains out of their car while SBAP gathers blankets for them to cover the bloodstained seats with. After they clean the car, Wumbo gives Clappy and Nuggets impromptu showers with a garden hose. They drive the car to a junkyard that won't ask questions, and Clappy and Nuggets take a cab to a nearby coffee shop. Clappy and Nuggets are eating bagels when Cha and Local jump onto a table, guns raised, and tell everyone to take out their wallets. As Local walks around the coffee shop collecting wallets, she notices the suitcase Nuggets was planning to deliver to jjstheboss. After taking Nuggets' wallet, she tells Nuggets to open the suitcase, and Nuggets refuses to do it. Annoyed, Local threatens to kill Nuggets if he doesn't open the suitcase, so he opens the suitcase, and as Local gets closer, Nuggets pulls her in by her hair and points his gun at her, causing Cha to run to her defense. Nuggets orders Local to tell Cha to chill, and she does. Nuggets tells them that if he weren't becoming religious, they would both be dead right now, so instead he lets them take his money and leave without the suitcase. Clappy and Nuggets then leave with the suitcase, and the movie ends.
  11. Sorry for not updating this in a super long time, but I've added 25 new games, with more to come over the next few days. You can find them at the top of the Games page under "New Additions". With just under five months of Flash support left, there's not a lot of time left to play your favorite games, so if there's any I've missed, please let me know!
  12. So, I haven't exactly been keeping this a secret over the last couple of days, but with the start of the new month and the second anniversary of my taking over this server, I'm ready to announce this to the public: SBC is moving to a new server, one that is completely controlled by me and that will hopefully have none of the negative side effects that came with me running a server I didn't set up and never felt super comfortable playing with. Some of you may have questions, and I'll do my best to address as many of them as I can so there aren't any more surprises. When is this server move happening? The server you're currently on will be taken down this Friday, July 3, and SBC should be fully set up on the new server the day after that. While I know this seems insanely quick, it comes after over a month of work, as anyone in staff can tell you I've been planning with this date in mind since late May, and I believe I can bring back enough of SBC to go ahead and do the server move on that date What from SBC won't be coming back? Anything coded by SBC's main developer before me won't be coming back. That includes the store, badges, iFish, member icons, and the now-discontinued games SpongeBob Jeopardy, SpongeBob Wheel of Fortune, and Dunces & Dragons. Any SBC features you use from now on will either be coded by me or outside developers. We are looking at replacements or subtle evolutions of the store, badges, and iFish, and while I don't care that much about member icons and find them ugly and distracting in a lot of places, I can bring them back, too, if there's excessive clamoring for it What will happen to the badges/iFish/whatever I've already purchased? The actual badges and iFish items will still exist in the new server, and I'll make sure there's a way for you to access them so you can download them to put them in your signature or whatever you want to do. You simply won't have a method to automatically put them in your posts anymore, and the Who's Online widget with the iFish will be retired as well Will all of my posts, DMs, and statuses be on the new server? Yes! At least they should be. Since this is such a big forum, some things may get lost during the move, but this isn't like going from Forumotion to vBulliten. SBC will still use the same software with all of the core features, so everything should come back other than what I've already described, and you should be able to log in with the same username and password you had before the server move Is is too late to change your mind about this? Yes! If you have any other questions, let me know in this thread. SBC has gone through a lot, which is why I was reluctant to make a change like this right after taking over the server. I didn't want the actions of one man to cripple an entire community, but with this site's ability to bounce back from what was easily the darkest moment in its history, and with the vibrant community that has developed on Discord, I'm not as worried about a decline in activity on these forums killing SBC as a whole. SBC has always been more than just a bunch of topics, more than fake fish in clown wigs, and more than those who were admittedly important to its development but unnecessary to its future. The lifeblood of SBC has always been the friendships it created, the opportunity it gave to many of us to find listening ears where we wouldn't otherwise have them. I couldn't kill that even if I wanted to, and while I'll try to preserve as much of SBC's history as I can, I'm much more excited for the future of this community, the first community many on here has known, and the strongest community I personally have ever been a part of.
  13. JCM


    JCM Saves the School from Another Deranged Former Nickelodeon Star (Patback walks into shin's Korean restaurant, where JCM is wiping down the tables.) Patback: JCM! I've been looking all over for you! JCM: What do you want? Patback: I wanted to invite you to my graduation ceremony. Everyone will be there! HawkbitAlpha, Lightning McStorm, pretty much everyone who used to be a dick but is okay now! JCM: Even Person? Patback: No, he died again. JCM: Aww. Patback: Anyway, the ceremony will be tomorrow morning if you want to come. JCM: I definitely will! (The next day, JCM rides his scooter to the city's multipurpose arena. There, hundreds of people are gathered for the SpongeBob Community School's graduation ceremony. Jjs walks onto the stage to give his speech.) Jjs: It's crazy how much this school has grown in the past ten years. I would like to thank everyone for coming to celebrate the accomplishments of this wonderful graduating class. Thanks to these seniors, we finished with the highest score ever on the State Aptitude Exam. That's more money for the future, more money for the students, and more money for cocaine, I mean, more money for the students! And I would like to honor one student in particular, our valedictorian, magic the veenom! Magic will be giving our next speech. (Magic replaces Jjs on the stage.) Magic: Thank you, jjstheprincipal. (Magic takes a piece of folded paper out of his pocket.) Magic: Webster's Dictionary says Patback: Holy shit! It's Jerry Trainor! (Beloved actor Jerry Trainor walks into the arena and waves as everybody cheers him on.) Jerry Trainor: Thank you! Thank you! I love to be among fans! Magic: (annoyed) Yeah, yeah, that's great. Can I continue my speech now? (Jerry Trainor pulls out a gun.) Jerry Trainor: You're not doing shit! (Everybody in the arena panics. Jerry Trainor motions for Magic to leave the stage, and he does so reluctantly as Jerry Trainor replaces him.) Jerry Trainor: Now, I haven't been able to get a lot of work for a couple of years due to people thinking I'm "a drunk" and "unhinged". (Jerry Trainor drinks from a flask, and when he sees a person in the audience trying to tiptoe out of the area, he shoots that person in the head.) Jerry Trainor: Unhinged! Don't you think that's crazy? Jjs: Jerry, please! You don't have to do this! Jerry Trainor: Yes! I fucking do! All of you, start recording! When people see how funny I still am, they'll have to give me a new show! They'll have to! (Everybody in the audience take out their phones and start recording Jerry Trainor.) Jerry Trainor: Oh, yeah! Make sure you get my good side! (An audience member sprints to the door, and Jerry Trainor shoots him in the back.) Jerry Trainor: Come on, guys! You can do better than this! I haven't even started my comedy routine! (JCM finds HawkbitAlpha and Patback in the crowd.) JCM: What do we do? HawkbitAlpha: Don't do you have some kind of anime superpower you can stop him with? JCM: I...I can't. There's too many people. (In Washington DC, an FBI agent walks into the FBI director's office.) Agent: I have bad news. Director: What is it? Agent: Jerry Trainor is holding an entire building hostage. Director: Again? (sighs) Do what you need to do. (Back in the arena, Jerry Trainor is telling jokes on stage, and the audience is laughing at all of them nervously.) Patback: JCM, you have to do something. (JCM closes and opens his eyes.) JCM: Nope, nothing. Magic: Fuck this! I'm finishing my speech no matter what! Jjs: Are you insane? (Magic runs towards the stage.) Jjs: Magic! No! (Several FBI agents are in front of a door. One of them counts down to three before they all run in.) Agent: FBI! Stop what you're doing! Oh...shit! We got the wrong Jerry! Jerry Seinfeld: What's the deal with that? (Back in the arena, Magic climbs onto the stage. When Jerry Trainor notices him, he points his gun at Magic, but before he can pull the trigger, a blast of energy knocks the gun out of his hand, Jerry Trainor watches in horror as JCM floats above the crowd.) JCM: Leave Magic and everybody here alone! Jerry Trainor: Fuck you! (crying) All I wanted to do was have a show again! All I wanted to do was...feel wanted again. JCM: There are better ways to do that, Jerry. Please, just leave them alone. Jerry Trainor: (pauses) No. (Jerry Trainor goes for his gun, and JCM shoots another blast of energy at him that sends his body parts flying everywhere in a violent, bloody explosion. JCM sinks back into the crowd, and he closes and opens his eyes again, clearly upset at what he had just done.) JCM: I'm...a monster. HawkbitAlpha: You had no other choice. JCM: But was it really my choice to make? (JCM starts to leave the arena, but Jjs stops him.) Jjs: Hey, JCM, I've been pretty harsh to you these last few months. If you ever want to come back, my door is open. JCM: Thanks, but no thanks. I' think I've had enough of SBC for one lifetime. Jjs: What if I offer you a teaching job? Dragiin's about to retire, so we'll be looking for somebody to teach PE. JCM: (pauses) Let me think about it. (JCM walks out of the arena, and then he walks back in a few seconds later.) JCM: Okay, I thought it about it. I'm in! (FBI agents run into the arena, clearly out of breath.) Agent: FBI...stop...what you're doing. JCM: I already killed him. Agent: Fuck me! (The End)
  14. JCM


    JCM Gets Trapped in a Video Game (JCM walks into the SpongeBob Community School, and Jjs immediately stops him.) Jjs: What the fuck are you doing here? I said if you entered the school again, you'd be charged for trespassing! JCM: Wumbo told me to come here! Jjs: Wumbo! (Wumbo runs out of his classroom.) Wumbo: JCM! You're here! Jjs: What the fuck are you up to now? Wumbo: You told me not to experiment on students and faculty anymore, so I rounded up a bunch of old faculty members to test out my new gaming system! Jjs: Why does it have to happen here? Wumbo: Because I set up the rig for the gaming system in our arcade room nobody uses anymore. JCM: Ooh, I forgot about that place! Wumbo: Come on! OMJ and Steel are already in there! Also, Jjs, could you teach the rest of my class? Those kids get pretty rowdy when they're by themselves for a while. Jjs: The fuck? No! Wumbo: Thanks! We'll be back in a jiff! (Wumbo and JCM go to the arcade room, where there is now a large machine with four Oculus Rift-like headsets connected to it. Steel Sponge and OMJ are already wearing two of the headsets.) JCM: What game are we going to playing on this? Wumbo: Something my friend sblover coded. It's one of those massively multiplayer online games, and it works perfectly with my gaming system! (Wumbo and JCM put on the two other headsets, and they immediately find themselves in a lush field with different bodies, Wumbo's now that of a large viking and JCM's now that of a fairy with large breasts.) JCM: What the heck? Wumbo: This is how you know men designed this game. (JCM flies around haphazardly.) JCM: I don't like this! Can I choose a different avatar? Wumbo: The game doesn't have that functionality yet. Sorry. (Wumbo and JCM meet OMJ, who has the body of a samurai, and Steel Sponge, who has the body of a centaur.) Steel Sponge: Does this horse butt make me look fat? Wumbo: Do you want the nice answer or the honest answer? (sbl, who now has the body of a Mongolian warrior, greets the four of them.) sbl: Hello! Welcome to my game! JCM: Can you please change me to something different? sbl: Why? Are your boobs not big enough? JCM: I AM A MAN! sbl: Calm down. It's just a game. Anyway, the war is about to start, so make sure you're all prepared for it. Steel Sponge: A war? That sounds fun! sbl: Well, try not to have too much fun, because if you die in the game, you'll die in real life. Wumbo: Wait, what? Why didn't you mention that to me before I installed it in my machine? sbl: Because then you wouldn't have installed it in your machine, silly! Don't worry. You're not the only sucker with a rising VR system I got to try this out. You'll have a lot of competition! JCM: I'm not doing this! How do we quit the game? sbl: The only way to leave the game is to win this coming war. You'll be fighting against several other teams of four, all looking for the same thing: this key. (sbl takes out a large 8-bit key, which then spins in his hand.) sbl: This is the key to the real world, and I'm the only one who has it. (Wumbo tries to take the key, and it dissolves before he can touch it.) sbl: I'll be streaming this on Twitch, so make sure you have your game faces on. Bye! (sbl disappears.) Steel Sponge: Why, Wumbo. Why would you trust a Twitch streamer? Wumbo: (crying) I'm sorry! I thought he was different! (The ground starts to shake.) Steel Sponge: Oh, my god. They're coming. JCM: I don't want to die in this body! OMJ: Don't worry. We're not going to die. We're going to fight. (A spear flies into OMJ's head.) OMJ: Fuck me. (OMJ dies.) JCM: Oh, my gosh! (Wumbo grabs OMJ's shield, and he throws it to Steel Sponge before covering himself as more spears and other projectiles fly towards them. JCM joins Wumbo under his shied.) JCM: How are we going to win this? Wumbo: Like OMJ said, we have to fight. And we're going to. (An enemy team breaks away from the chaos of multiple teams fighting in the distance, and Steel Sponge grabs one of the spears that bounced off his shield before charging at the team with JCM and Wumbo. Wumbo kills two of the players with his sword, and Steel Sponge kills another with his spear before the fourth member of the team jumps on the horse part of his body and stabs it, causing him to neigh loudly. JCM points at the player, and magic dust flies out of his finger, turning him into a butterfly. The butterfly flies to JCM and bites him.) JCM: Ouch! What did you do that for? Butterfly: You turned me into a fucking butterfly! JCM: Oh, right! (Wumbo crushes the butterfly between his hands.) Wumbo: They aren't shooting stuff at us anymore, so maybe they're low on weapons. Steel Sponge: I'm not about to get close to that clusterfuck to find out. (After several minutes of fighting, one team remains, and its members start running towards JCM, Wumbo, and Steel Sponge.) Wumbo: Get ready. Steel Sponge: Wait...do you see those names over their heads? Wumbo: Holy shit! Metal Snake, Tron, Cream, and Zaid! They joined the faculty of MLP High years ago! I totally forgot about them! JCM: Are we...still going to fight them? Steel Sponge: We have to. Wumbo: It's either them or us. Tron: Eat arrow, bitches! (Tron shoots several arrows at JCM, Wumbo, and Sponge Sponge, and Wumbo and Steel Sponge are able to block all of them with their shields.) Wumbo: Our turn. (Wumbo throws his sword into Zaid's chest, blocks another round of arrows, and pulls his sword from Zaid's chest before stabbing Tron with it.) Tron: Fuck...you. (After Tron dies, Cream uses a whip to wrap up Wumbo's sword and pull it away from him. As she runs towards Wumbo, he avoids cracks from her whip, and once she's close enough to swing at him with his sword, he struggles to block every swing with with his shield, getting cut several times. Steel Sponge engages with Metal Snake, who uses his own shield to block Steel Sponge's spear attacks while swinging at Steel Sponge with a flail.) Metal Snake: You'll pay for killing Tron! Steel Sponge: I can barely even afford to pay rent, motherfucker! (Steel Sponge drives his spear into Metal Snake's shoulder, causing Metal Snake to fall to the ground and cough up blood. Steel Sponge prepares to finish Metal Snake off, but then JCM flies in front of him.) JCM: Wait! I can't let you kill Metal Snake! We've had too many good times together at the school. We graduated together. There must be some other way to get out of this game. Metal Snake: You know there isn't, JCM. (Tears well up in JCM's eyes.) Metal Snake: Just get it over wi- (Steel Sponge drives his spear into Metal Snake's chest. As Wumbo fights Cream, he's able to recover his sword, then he wraps Cream's whip around his arm and pulls her into his sword, killing her. Steel Sponge, JCM, and Wumbo return to the middle of the field, and sbl appears with the key.) sbl: Congratulations! You've gotten us the most-watched Twitch stream of all time! JCM: Yes, but at what cost? Wumbo: To be fair, Metal Snake was kind of a dick anyway. (Wumbo grabs the key.) Wumbo: How do we use this thing to get outta here? sbl: It's mostly symbolic. You could have left at any time by clicking your heels three times and saying, "There's no place like Canada". Steel Sponge: What? Goddamn it! Wumbo: Goddamn it! JCM: Gosh darn it! (The End)
  15. JCM

    Ask Miss Smiles!

    If your personality is that of a gluttonous gumball with a large knife should people be afraid of you?
  16. JCM


    Previously on JCMovies Cha: Do you sell fortune cookies here? JCM: Here you go! (As JCM and Cha break their fortune cookies, they read the same fortune inside them: A journey soon begins Its prize reflected in another's eyes When what you see is what you lack Then selfless love will change you back) JCM: JCM...I think we just switched bodies. (JCM and Cha scream. Later that day, Cha is outside of the SpongeBob Community School talking to MCJ on her phone.) MCJ: Can we try again? Cha: I...guess so. MCJ: Meet you at my place at 8? Cha: Actually, I might need a little more time to think about (MCJ hangs up the phone.) Cha: Gosh darn it. JCM Walks Another Mile in Cha's Shoes (Cha knocks on the door of MCJ's house, and JCM opens it.) JCM: Surprise, motherfucker! (JCM punches Cha in the face.) Cha: (rubs cheek) So, I assume shinya wasn't able to figure out how to return us to our own bodies? JCM: No! And it certainly didn't help that you abandoned us! But that's not even what I'm most pissed about right now! Why in God's name would you agree to go on a date with MCJ? Cha: It kind of just...happened. JCM: First Sauce, now MCJ! Do you want to fuck all your siblings? Cha: Keep it down! He'll hear! JCM: I don't give a shit! You need to call it off! Cha: I can't! It would destroy him! JCM: He's a fucking asshole! Who cares? Cha: He's still my brother! Yeah, he can mean sometimes, and yeah, he's tried to kill me on more than one occasion, but he's family. JCM: Is this some kind of Thor/Loki thing you two have going on? Cha: Thor? Loki? Are those people from school? JCM: Literally, have you been alive these past ten years? MCJ: (from upstairs) Is everything okay? Cha: Yeah, MCJ! Just waiting for you to come down! JCM: (whispering) Fucking call it off. Cha: (whispering) No. I'll go on one date with him, and then I'll let him down gently. JCM: (whispering) You piece of shit. If we return to our own bodies, I'll fucking kill you. Cha: (whispering) Thank you for understanding. (MCJ comes down the stairs in a suit.) MCJ: Okay, I'm ready! You look beautiful as usual, Cha. (JCM gags.) MCJ: Is there something you want to say, brother? Cha: No, he's probably just choking on the air. Let's go! (MCJ and Cha leave the house and get into MCJ's car. He drives them to a high-end restaurant on the other side of town. They pass Michael Bolton, who's singing his greatest hits, on the way to their table.) MCJ: So, Cha, what have you been up to these last five years or so? Cha: Oh...you know...just living my best life. MCJ: Wow, that's great! So uh, you like steak? Cha: No, not really... MCJ: Waiter! (A waiter appears at the table seconds later.) MCJ: Steak for both of us! Waiter: You got it. Cha: What? Waiter: And what will you have to drink? MCJ: Champagne fine with you? Cha: No, it isn't! MCJ: Come on! Your name's in it! CHAmpagne! You need to try it at least once! Cha: I swear to gosh, MCJ! Waiter: I'll just get her water. MCJ: (sighs) Fine. Get me the biggest bottle of liquor you have, though. (The waiter nods before leaving.) Cha: Listen, MCJ, this isn't going to work. It's not that I don't like you, it's just that...I don't like you. MCJ: But...the date is just getting started. Cha: And I'm ending it. Bye, MCJ. (Cha starts to leave the restaurant, and MCJ follows her to where Michael Bolton is playing.) MCJ: At least let me drive you home! Cha: I'll take a cab. Also, the next time you think of calling me...don't. (As Cha walks out of the restaurant, MCJ turns back to his table with a heartbroken expression on his face.) Michael Bolton: (singing) TELL ME HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU? MCJ: Put a sock in it, asshole. (After MCJ returns to his table, the waiter returns with two plates of steak and one large bottle of liquor.) Waiter: Is she coming back? MCJ: Just give me the bill and leave me the fuck alone. (As MCJ starts drinking his liquor, Cha gets into a cab and tells the driver to take her to JCM's house. When she gets there, she knocks on the door, and JCM opens it.) JCM: Finished using my body for your sick, twisted version of twincest? (Cha breaks down into tears, and JCM awkwardly hugs her.) Cha: You were right! My brother is a jerk! I had to destroy him. I'm afraid to see what's left. JCM: Let's just focus on getting back into our own bodies before we have to deal with any of that. (JCM and Cha stand on opposite sides of the room.) JCM: One..two...three! (JCM and Cha run into each other head-first, and after they collide, they fall to the ground in pain.) JCM: That was a dumb fucking idea. Shit, maybe you're rubbing off on me. I have to get out of this body now. Cha: What was it that fortune cookie said before we switched bodies? JCM: I don't even fucking remember anymore. Something about selfless love? Cha: Selfless love! That's it! Cha... (Cha grabs JCM by the shoulders.) Cha: I love you. (Just as Cha says that, MCJ walks into the house.) MCJ: What the fuck? Cha: Wow! That was literally the worst time for me to say that! MCJ: It all makes sense now. Getting all my dad's affection wasn't enough for you! You had to take the only woman I ever loved away from me, too! Cha: Are...are you going to try to kill him again? MCJ: Of course! And after I'm done with that, I'll kill you, too! Be right back! (MCJ runs up the stairs and goes into his room, slamming the door behind him.) Cha: Cha...close your eyes. JCM: What? Why? Cha: Just...close your eyes, and try not to feel bad about what happens next. (JCM closes and opens his eyes. Suddenly, Cha faints. MCJ comes back down the stairs wielding an axe.) MCJ: You have no idea how many times I've dreamed about using this on you! (JCM points an open palm at MCJ and shoots a powerful blast of energy at him that severs his right arm.) MCJ: Ouch! What the fuck? That hurt! (MCJ swings the axe at JCM several times with his left arm, and JCM avoids every swing before grabbing the axe, breaking it, and kicking MCJ so hard that he flies through a wall. JCM closes and opens his eyes again and looks down at his hands.) JCM: Oh my gosh! I'm myself again! (JCM looks at Cha, who wakes up and smiles softly.) Cha: You did it. You broke the stupid Freaky Friday curse. (Cha faints again, and JCM calls an ambulance to pick up Cha and MCJ, who's bleeding profusely out of the socket his right arm used to be in.) (Cha is eating at shinya's Korean restaurant again. JCM walks up to her table.) JCM: Would you like some CHAmpagne? Cha: Huh? Do you sell that here? JCM: No, it was a joke. A bad joke, but still a joke, I guess. Cha: (nods) How's your brother? JCM: In a lot of hot water. Apparently, he drove home super drunk and killed a lot of pedestrians on the way there. A judge said he was planning to throw the book at my brother, which is a weird punishment. I would prefer they just lock MCJ up. He doesn't need anything getting thrown at him. Cha: You're a good person, JCM, even though you might not show it much. JCM: Thanks. You aren't half good yourself. Cha: I think you mean half bad. JCM: If it's half, does it really matter which way I go? Cha: You know, you're smarter than people give you credit for. Not much, but still. JCM: Thanks...I think? Cha: But your dick is much smaller than I thought it would be, and I thought it would be really, really small. JCM: Please stop talking. (The End)
  17. The final episode of AfterXat has now been sent out, so check it out if you haven't already! The final part of my JCMovies two parter will come out tomorrow, and the greatest Memorial Day weekend of all time will be capped off by Patrick-Man: Infinity War on Monday!
  18. I'll be Mr. Game and Watch cause I'm just that old-fashioned.
  19. JCM


    JCM Walks a Mile in Cha's Shoes (Cha walks into Jjs' office at the Spongebob Community School, covered from head to toe in paint.) Jjs: What happened to you? Cha: I told g4ry I thought Sam Darnold was a mediocre quarterback. He didn't take it very well. Jjs: (nods) Anyway, as I'm sure you know, the big state test is coming up, and we'll need all hands on deck to ensure our students do as well as possible on the test and get this school as much funding as we possibly can. Cha: What does that have to do with me? I'm the art teacher. Jjs: For the next two weeks, every teacher will be required to dedicate at least 45 minutes a class to state test prep. Cha: 45 minutes? That's half the class! Jjs: Save the math for the students, Cha. I got my Masters so I wouldn't have to do that shit. Cha: (sighs) Just email me the revised curriculum. I'll be on my lunch break. (After taking a shower in the locker room, Cha drives to shinya's Korean restaurant. When she sits down at a table, JCM approaches her.) JCM: Hi there! Would you like a menu? Cha: JCM! How long have you been working here? JCM: About a month now. Usually I clean up after everyone's gone, but one of the waitresses called in sick. Cha: Well, I'm glad you're doing well! JCM: But I'm not doing well! I miss my old job. Just when I started to accept I would never be a teacher, now I can't step foot on the Spongebob Community School grounds without getting charged for trespassing. Cha: Trust me. Being a teacher isn't all it's cracked up to be. I would love to get away from the bureaucracy, the kids who don't appreciate what you do for them. JCM: (shrugs) Yeah, whatever. So, what do you want? Cha: Can I get some of your bulgogi? JCM: Sure! Cha: Also, do you sell fortune cookies here? JCM: Shinya! (Shinya comes out of his office.) Shinya: What? JCM: Do you sell fortune cookies here? Shinya: No, they only do that at Chinese restaurants. JCM: Wait just a sec, Cha! (JCM leaves the restaurant, and a few seconds later, he walks back into it.) JCM: I've got them! Shinya: What? How? JCM: The lady from the Chinese restaurant down the street gave them to me. Here you go, Cha! (JCM gives Cha one of the two fortune cookies he's holding.) Cha: Thanks! Shinya: JCM, there isn't a Chinese restaurant anywhere near here. (As JCM and Cha break their fortune cookies, they read the same fortune inside them: A journey soon begins Its prize reflected in another's eyes When what you see is what you lack Then selfless love will change you back) Cha: Is this one of those Chinese raps? JCM: Uh, JCM... Cha: What? JCM: I think we just switched bodies. Cha: Oh. (JCM and Cha scream.) Shinya: Goddamnit, I know what's going on. Wait just a minute. I'll get this fixed. (Shinya leaves the restaurant.) JCM: Oh, man. I hope Shin fixes this. I can't go back to work looking like this. Cha: Oh my gosh! This is like that Spongebob episode, The "Oh gee's" Always Greener! JCM: The what? Cha: I'll be back, Cha! I'm just gonna spend the rest of the day living out my dreams! JCM: What the fuck? (Cha leaves the restaurant.) JCM: JCM, get back here! (Shinya walks down the street and finds the vacant building that used to be Kat's Delicious Tacos has a banner hung over it saying "Very Good Chinese Food Place." Shinya walks into the building and sees an old Asian lady behind the counter.) Lady: Oh, hello! Would you like fortune cookie? Shinya: Cut it out, Elsa. I know it's you. (The lady transforms into Elsa.) Shinya: Why are you still shapeshifting and fucking around with people? Elsa: Because it's fun! Shinya: Well, it's bad for business. Now, come with me so you can change them back. Elsa: The only thing that can change them back is selfless love. You know that thing about magic. It always comes with a cost. Shinya: Fuck you, Elsa. (Shinya leaves the building. At the Spongebob Community School, Cha walks into her classroom, clearly in awe of what's going on.) Prez: Hi, Miss Cha! Cha: Miss Cha! I like that! Prez: I did another Squnschfuck drawing for my latest assignment. Cha: Squnsch...what? Prez: Remember? It's that crossover I made between Squidward and the obscure German cartoon, Wunschfuck. (Prez reveals a drawing of Squidward standing with a cat that has a massive human penis.) Cha: W...why? Prez: You told me to draw what I love! Cha: Well, have you tried loving things that are less weird? (Prez crumples the drawing up.) Prez: Fuck you, you heartless bitch! (Prez runs out of the classroom in tears.) Cha: Wait! Prez! (sighs) So, what does Cha...I mean, what do I usually talk about around this time? Dmandaman: You were explaining the various art movements. Last time, you were talking about Dada. Cha: Whose dada? Dmandaman: Are you okay, Miss Cha? Cha: Yeah, just...draw whatever you like. But make sure to keep private parts out of it. (After class is over, Jjs stops Cha in the hallway.) Jjs: Cha. Office. Now. Cha: Ooh, are we playing a game? This. Is really. Fun. Wait, I think I did two words for one of them! Let me try again! Jjs: What the fuck is wrong with you? Come with me to my office now! (Jjs and Cha walk to Jjs' office.) Jjs: So, Cha, what is this I hear about you crushing Prez's dreams? You're supposed to wait until after they've spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on a college degree before doing that! It's like you're new to education! Cha: I...I'm sorry. Jjs: And did you use one bit of that test prep I gave you for that class you just taught? Cha: What test prep? Jjs: Take the rest of the day off, Cha. It's obvious you aren't yourself right now. Cha: I...I'm totally myself! I've never been more myself! I'm the same old Cha you hired five years ago! Jjs: Nuggets hired you. Cha: Same difference. Jjs: My decision is final. Go home. And whatever you did during that lunch break...don't do it again. (Cha walks out of the school sadly. She feels something vibrate in her pocket, and she takes a cell phone out with MCJ's name on the screen and green and red phone icons under it.) Cha: MCJ? (Cha taps the green icon, and she puts the phone to her ear.) MCJ: (over the phone) Hey, Cha, I know you told me not to call this number anymore, but I just can't stop thinking about you. Can we try again? Cha: I...guess so. MCJ: Really? Fuck yeah! I know this perfect place we can go tonight! It's very upscale. It even has Michael Bolton doing the music tonight! Cha: (nervous) That sounds nice. MCJ: So, meet you at my place at 8? Cha: Actually, I might need a little more time to think about (MCJ hangs up the phone.) Cha: Gosh darn it. (That night, JCM knocks on the door of his house. MCJ opens it wearing a suit and a large grin on his face.) MCJ: Hello there. (frowns) Oh, it's you. (MCJ lets his twin brother into the house before closing the door behind them.) JCM: Got a date tonight? MCJ: Yeah, and you won't believe who it is with...Unlimitedcha! JCM: WHAT? (To be continued)
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