4EverGreen

I think if "The Patrick Star Show" has been good for anything BESIDES finding ways for making Patrick Star more entertaining in ways that DON'T just involve stupidity, I think it's allowed the writers to be more comfortable in experimenting with story ideas in general. For instance, prior to the creation of "The Patrick Star Show", I don't think the idea of having Plankton be the GENUINE protagonist of his OWN story (let alone, one that involved Spongebob Squarepants in a NON-anthropomorphic role), would've seen the light of day on "Spongebob Squarepants". It figures that Plankton wouldn't have FALLEN for somebody TRYING to sell him a Magic Bean. Instead, he sees a Vending Machine (since his wife Karen is a clockwork machine in his story, there's nobody telling him what CAN and couldn't be a possibility in his story), that promises that the Magic Bean (for just ONE farthing), can make him RICH beyond his wildest dreams! To both Karen and Plankton's surprise, the Magic Bean WORKS and grows into a bean stalk that takes him up into the clouds! Up there, he meets the SPONGE Goose that lays the edible, Golden Krabby Patties, who does so after hearing the beautiful music that the Giant Mr. Krabs FORCES the magical harp portrayed by Squidward, to play! Plankton was initially CONTENT with just taking ONE Golden Krabby Patty, but after Mr. Krabs TRIES to feed Plankton to the Sponge Goose, Plankton decides to liberate the Sponge Goose from Mr. Krabs castle! After Plankton PAINFULLY lands on the ground (forgetting that geese CAN fly), Plankton decides to cut the knot and simply uses a LASER (again, it IS his story) to cut down the beanstalk! While Mr. Krabs ends up CRUSHING Plankton and Karen's house, the episode ENDS with Plankton and Karen being SUCCESSFUL, in having the Sponge Goose perform for the public, and being able to sell the edible Golden Krabby Patties to paying customers, out of a RESTAURANT that they made from the Giant Mr. Krabs OLD crab shell; forcing an EMBARRASSED and naked Mr. Krabs to try to pay for a Golden Krabby Patty himself, only to be refused due to Plankton's rule of "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service!" (No doubt still REMEMBERING the trauma from "The Algae Is Always Greener". I'd give this episode segment a 9.9 out of 10, only because we never SAW Plankton free Squidward from Mr. Krabs' castle. Enough said, true believers!

I vote for the Goofy Goober's, because who WOULDN'T want to eat at a restaurant where they serve you so MANY different kinds of ice cream, and even give you a SHOW while you're there?!

Earlier today, I saw Wes Anderson's latest movie, "Asteroid City", in movie theaters. A well-made and wonderfully acted movie. My only (very small) complaint, is that SOME of the big name actors were WOEFULLY under-utilized more than they SHOULD have been! Enough said, true believers!

I'll be Deadpan Snarker.

First off, I don't know WHY they decided to call the episode title what they DID call it; it practically has nothing to DO with Grandma Tentacles NOT wanting anybody on her lawn! What this episode IS focused on, is what happens when someone who wasn't even LOOKING for people to be entertained by the things she says (I.E.: Grandma Tentacles), suddenly gets fans she NEVER really wanted in the FIRST place! And unlike Patrick Star and his family, who expect such activity due to actually HAVING an in-universe television show; Grandma Tentacles is justifiably annoyed that there are quite a few fish who are following her around! (Also, in the beginning; was Craig Mammalton one of the many seals that Patrick had performing?! It looks like he has a bigger family than I thought!) No matter where Grandma Tentacles goes or what she does, her unwanted fans keep following her! One time, the show gets its most META moment yet when Slappy accidentally turns on the SUBTITLES, and Grandma Tentacles USES them as a bridge to get across a chasm! Thankfully, Squidina and Patrick eventually come to her rescue, revealing that the reason there ARE fans chasing after her, is because (in-universe) she has the neighborhood's most wanted show!) She decides that if she can't beat them, she'll knock them dead! (Was that GILBERT Gottfried saying "Is this thing On?" During Grandma Tentacles show-stopping number?! If so, that was probably his LAST recording!) But as it turns out, her fans are SO fickle, they'd rather watch someone PAINTING a fence (like Tom Sawyer) than watch Grandma Tentacles give it her all. Oddly enough, SHE finds the show entertaining as well! I'd guess I'd give this episode a 9.5 out of 10. It LOST half a point due to the fact that ONE of the seals accidentally got their legs cut off. Enough said, true believers!

At long last; it's revealed that Squidina actually IS related to the rest of the Stars, due to the fact that her maternal Grandmother (Bunny's Mother) is a squid herself! And not just ANY squid, a witch named Agnes Steelhead, so now we also know what Bunny's Maiden last name is! Even though Bunny never got any witch powers herself, Agnes wants to see if Squidina has any magical talent to call her own. First, they try out some simple wand flame igniting! While Agnes can ignite an oblivious fish no problem; Squidina learns the HARD way, why you should make SURE your aim is TRUE before you fire! The second test is magical spell transformations! Using her LOATHED step-son Cecil as a Guinea Pig, Agnes transforms him into the likeness and sound of Slappy. But not only does Squidina's potion have no effect on Patrick, it just makes HIM thirsty for Agnes' potion, which ALSO transforms him into the likeness and sound of Slappy! At this time, GrandPat enters the picture, and he REALIZES that Agnes is up to some no good witchcraft! After slapping Patrick back to normal, GrandPat decides to (probably not for the FIRST time), become a late 17th century witch hunter! And just in time, to! Agnes WANTS Squidina to fly on a broom stick! GrandPat attempts to stop Agnes, but ends up falling off of the house! Squidina BEGS Agnes to save him, and Agnes reluctantly agrees; only to give GrandPat a CRASH course in broom riding! Since GrandPat decides that witch hunting won't work on Agnes, he decides to fight magic with magic, trying to make HER disappear with sleight of hand, smoke and mirror trickery! Only, Agnes decides to school GrandPat on some REAL magical tricks, by having a GIANT sea bunny attempt to devour him, THAN turning GrandPat into a giant carrot! However, it's by THIS point that Squidina has had ENOUGH of Agnes' bullying ways, and harnesses her OWN magic! First, she ZAPS Agnes back into Klopnodia; than she undoes the magical transformations that Agnes forced onto GrandPat! It's than revealed to be a DIFFERENT kind of magic; movie EDITING magic! Strangely enough, Squidina thinks that EDITING Patrick's show is NORMAL for a kid her age! Turning into a sea WEREWOLF during a full moon on the other hand? I sure hope THAT part becomes canon not just for her, but the REST of the Star family! I give this episode segment a perfect 10/10! Enough said, true believers!

...I'm almost a QUARTER of the way, there.

To be fair, this isn't the first cartoon show that depicted an inner part of the body actually LEAVING somebody's body; "Beetlejuice" the animated series did it WAY back in the late 1980's/early 1990's when a part of Beetlejuice's brain left his body; "Ren And Stimpy" once removed Ren's brain from his body; and "Regular Show" did it when Rigby's soul left his own body! Even so, this episode shows the consequences (if depicted cartoonishly) of what happens if someone (I.E. Patrick) treats their body like a garbage dump; their organs LITERALLY quit on him! In any case, I don't think it will ever cease to amaze me just how DURABLE and nigh invulnerable Bubble Bass' BUTT seems to be! Patrick's organs hit Bubble Bass' butt with a CAR, and he didn't even FEEL it! Unlike "Ren & Stimpy", when Stimpy had to hastily replace Ren's brain into his body when Stimpy couldn't find it; Patrick decides he can replace his own organs with a bunch of random household stuff! And oddly enough, the citizens of Bikini Bottom find him MORE handsome, muscular, and more useful! Meanwhile, Patrick's organs have a bad time when the Dance Club they go to, turns out to be the BACK of a Butcher's Deli! Thankfully, one of the objects Patrick swallowed was a Fax Machine, so he was able to get a note from his organs about the Deli...only to WANT to go for the chips! Not WANTING to be ignored, the Lungs inflate themselves so big, and let out such a loud scream; it shatters the deli glass, AND the restaurant! Patrick's organs WANT to be back inside of Patrick, but Patrick refuses, since THEY left him; and he doesn't NEED them anymore! As if the Universe wanted to make sure he was "Instantly Proven Wrong", an industrial strength magnet ATTRACTS the metal objects within Patrick's body! Patrick realizes the only way to get out of his situation, is to apologize to his organs, and let them back inside his body! So he releases ALL the objects he swallowed, swallows his organs back up; and learns something important! Actually, TWO things; first, never take your organs for granted! Second, never stand DIRECTLY underneath a fully loaded industrial strength magnet; you never know when it might release EVERYTHING it's carrying! I guess I'd give this episode a 9.5 out of 10. Enough said, true believers!

While in cartoons, it's usually accepted that for most cartoon characters; they can be put through ANY situation, and emerge from it none worse for the wear. Or if they DO get hurt, they're just healed AGAIN in the very next scene! This episode shows what can happen when THAT is not the case, and a character could actually USE a stunt double. Technically speaking, it might actually show more of WHY cartoon characters usually don't USE stunt double's in the first place! Even by the standards of "The Patrick Star Show", Grandpat (with only his BEARD shaven off, which looks SO unnatural, by the way); is chosen to be Patrick's Stunt Double, simply for the fact that GRANDPAT can open up a jar of pickles! But, surprise, surprise; Grandpat DOESN'T want to do any of the HARD stunts, such as boxing a Sea Bear (who is FINALLY given the name of Bear Knuckles), and it's ACTUALLY called a "Death Match?!" One of our community spin-offs is now OFFICIAL canon lore! Instead, Grandpat takes away all the EASY gigs from Patrick, and assumes to take over Patrick's life. This would've been a BETTER use for FitzPatrick, since he looks MORE like Patrick anyways! In any case, Patrick eventually decides that he's had enough, and decides to become a Stunt TRIPLE for GrandPat! (Which IS actually "Truth In Television", Jennifer Beals needed FOUR stunt doubles to do all the dance scenes in "Flashdance"). Squidina decides to resolve the matter by having the two engage in a Stunt-off! But Patrick and Grandpat can't STOP breaking the rules of physics by trying to interfere each other, and they wind up getting caught in a FREAK explosion (although unlike other cases, at least THIS one was justified!) Instead of having the two apologize to each other and find some other way to resolve the situation; the writers come up with the most INEXPLICABLE ending ever! Patrick and Grandpat wind up FUSED to each other in a PICKLE Jar, and Squidina is grabbing the pickle they are on! At least they have the decency to end the cartoon before anything else happens! If it weren't for that ending, the episode would get an 8.5 out of 10. With the ending, it's 8.1 out of 10, and mostly for the "Death Match" segment! Enough said, true believers!

On TV, I saw the 1984 movie version of "A Christmas Carol" starring George C. Scott (which I had never seen before), and in movie theaters; I saw "Indiana Jones And The Dial Of Destiny" which I highly suggest you see in movie theaters; it's EPIC!!!! Enough said, true believers!

Now that the latest movie in the "Indiana Jones" franchise has come out (and is said to be the last one) which movie in the entire franchise is your favorite? Remember, when talking about the latest one, please be courteous enough to keep any spoilers hidden with the spoiler tags. Enough said, true believers!

"Friendiversary" is now called "Deja Vu".

Theaters, Streaming, and Cable TV.

Very interesting; I'm not sure if there ever HAS been an episode of "Spongebob Squarepants" before where EVERYONE played different characters, and everyone STAYED in character for the whole episode! But it really makes me wonder, what on EARTH could give Spongebob (or Spongehab) a scar that DIDN'T heal?! Never expected to see the Nematoads again! All in all, I don't have much more to add since Old Man Jenkins pretty much said everything I could have said. 10/10. Enough said, true believers!

Long re-run ahead, so I'll just get into it. / (Cold Open) The episode opens up INSIDE of a cold, steel machine, filled with white light; and words flash on the screen, and they say: "The INSIDE of Queen Metallia's Machine, in Queen Galaxia's (formerly Queen Beryl's) Palace; April 1, 2179; 4:55 P.M." Queen Beryl and Abaddon find themselves falling down WITHIN Queen Metallia's Machine (after being zapped into there by Queen Galaxia) and they suddenly start hearing the opening chords of Tom Petty and the Heartbreaker's "The Waiting Is The Hardest Part". Queen Beryl asks: "Is SOMEBODY actually expecting us here?" Abaddon says: "I don't know, but I have GOT to find out what the rest of their playlist is like!" Tom Petty (and the Heartbreakers) sing: "Oh baby, don't it feel like heaven right now? Don't it feel like something from a dream? Yeah, I've never known nothing quite like this. Don't it feel like tonight might never be again? Baby, we know better than to try and pretend. Honey, no one coulda ever told me 'bout this. I said yeah, yeah. (Yeah, yeah.) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The waiting is the hardest part. Every day you see one more card. You take it on faith, you take it to the heart. The waiting is the hardest part. Well yeah, I might have chased a couple women around. All it ever got me was down. Then there were those that made me feel good. But never as good as I feel right now. Baby, you're the only one that's ever known how to make me wanna live like I wanna live now. I said yeah, yeah. (Yeah, yeah.) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The waiting is the hardest part. Every day you get one more yard. You take it on faith, you take it to the heart. The waiting is the hardest part. Oh, don't let it kill you baby, don't let it get to you. Don't let it kill you baby, don't let it get to you. I'll be your bleedin' heart, I'll be your cryin' fool. Don't let this go too far, don't let it get to you! (Instrumental break) Yeah, yeah. (Yeah, yeah.) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The waiting is the hardest part. Every day you get one more yard. You take it on faith, you take it to the heart. The waiting is the hardest part. Yeah, the waiting is the hardest part. Oh. Is the hardest part. Oh. Is the hardest part. Oh." And the song finally ends as Queen Beryl and Abaddon land softly on steel ground. Abaddon says: "If someone told me at the start of today that we would find ourselves WITHIN Queen Metallia's Machine, I would've LAUGHED my HEAD off!" A familiar voice says: "You're not the ONLY one!" Queen Beryl, in shock, asks: "Nephrite?!" Nephrite enters out of the shadows, and she says: "So, you DO remember me?" Abaddon says: "I thought YOU were dead!" Nephrite says: "Well, my body WAS destroyed, but; I guess NONE of us read the FINE print when we signed our contracts to Queen Galaxia!" Queen Beryl asks: "What do you mean?" Nephrite says: "When one of us Youma falls in battle to the Power Rangers, it isn't just the energy we collect that winds up inside of Queen Metallia's Machine, it's our souls; as well!" Abaddon says: "So, you've actually SEEN others fall down here, to?!" Nephrite nods, and sadly says: "Yes. All of the Youma that fell after I did, wound up here. I've seen all of them try their best to fight off against Queen Metallia, but none ever succeed. Even trapped in here, she's MORE powerful than ANY of us could've imagined!" Queen Beryl excitedly asks: "Powerful enough to help me get REVENGE against that LOUSY Dr. Maniac and that TRAITOROUS Queen Galaxia?!" Nephrite says: "You don't GET it! Queen Metallia doesn't CARE about your need to get revenge against Dr. Maniac; she's not even ON Queen Galaxia's side! Her only allegiance is to HERSELF and HERSELF alone, she's just like Queen Bansheera from 179 years ago!" Abaddon steps back in shock, and says: "But...our glorious quest to revive Queen Metallia. All the energy we collected. All the sacrifices that we've made. All the battles that we've lost. Are you telling me that all of that...was a LIE?!" Nephrite sadly says: "I'm afraid so. Queen Metallia has played this game for the past 10,000 years now. From planet to planet she travels, sucking all the resources of a planet until it is barren and lifeless. In the process, doing this takes up so much energy, she needs to retreat to the safety of her machine, and needs to collect energy from participants she is able to sucker into helping her. No one who has EVER helped her before, has EVER gotten any reward from her!" Queen Beryl angrily says: "Well, we're NOT going to take THAT lying DOWN! If Queen Beryl thinks she can get US, she's WRONG! We are going to FIGHT against her, and take the energy we gathered for HER, and make it our OWN!" Nephrite says: "That's not a smart move! She's collected ALL the other Youma that fell in battle! Even with YOUR combined powers, the three of us are not enough to BEAT her!" Abaddon says: "Not APART from each other; but combined, we just MIGHT stand a chance!" Nephrite asks: "What are you saying?" Abaddon says: "I have worked for and studied the dark arts of the Chaos Gods themselves, lest you FORGET that important fact! And I have studied a technique, that would allow us to combine our powers together into ONE super body! In this body, we would have ENOUGH power to take AWAY all the energy Queen Metallia has gathered so far, power it into ourselves, and escape from the machine! Hopefully, when we escape; we'll do so much damage to the machine; Queen Galaxia and her cohorts will NEVER be able to repair it!" Queen Beryl asks: "Than what are we waiting for?! Let's combine, right away!" Abaddon says: "It's not as easy as it sounds! These are VERY dark arts that I'm talking about! I'm afraid one of us would have to completely give up their OWN life energy, to make the super body for the others to inhabit!" Nephrite sighs, and says: "I'll do it. I'm tired of living in fear, I'm tired of being afraid. I'm sorry I wasn't more use to you two when I had my body. But, I hope that what I will do for you now; will more than make up for it." Queen Beryl says: "Thank you, Nephrite. I always KNEW you were the most LOYAL of my Youma!" And then, they suddenly hear mechanical clanking and roaring in the distance! Abaddon says: "We better hurry! Those sound like the fallen Necron! Queen Metallia must have reprogrammed them to do her bidding!" Nephrite says: "Than let's waste no more time! Just do me a favor and give a good thrashing to Dr. Maniac for me!" Queen Beryl says: "We WILL, Nephrite! We WILL!" Abaddon's body gets enveloped with a black Aura, as he starts speaking in a dark, forbidden tongue that mortals have not heard for millennia! Abaddon says: "K'haakalik mashak bala ta ma phlonok ka muk!" ("By the power entrusted to me by the Chaos Gods, empower us!") And a white aura surrounds Nephrite, and Abaddon's black Aura starts surrounding Queen Beryl. Abaddon continues: "M'shennah im pe weck ga sen la muk gom!" ("What was once three, now make us ONE!") And Nephrite's body turns transparent, and slowly evaporates into nothingness, and Queen Beryl's and Abaddon's bodies slowly find themselves being pulled together and MERGING! Queen Beryl says: "No turning back after this! Abaddon my love, come DIE with ME!!!!" "Back To The 1980's Part IV: Miami Ice!" When the episode starts proper, words flash on the screen, and they say: "Mysterious Void, Unknown Location; January 1, 1980; 1:00 P.M." We see a big, blank, white void. A colorful, rainbow portal opens into the void, and Emperor Catton steps into it. He walks to the center of the void (even though since he's the only thing INSIDE of it, it's hard to tell WHERE the actual center is), and he looks up to the blank sky. Emperor Catton shouts: "Hey, Chaos God Khorne, I'm HOME!!!!" The sky darkens to a sinister black, and a red, visual image opens in the sky, and the image of Khorne, the Chaos God himself, appears in it! Khorne hisses with a sinister growl, and he says: "Don't EVER address me in that manner again! What's your update?!" Emperor Catton says: "Even BETTER than I anticipated! While Lettuce's sense of justice is STILL much higher than I would've liked, having forgotten the way history is SUPPOSED to play out DID work out in our favor!" Khorne says: "Did it, though? You FAILED in your PRIME objective! You SAID you wanted John Lennon KILLED! You ONLY killed Mark David Chapman, Yoko Ono, and Eddy Valiant, Emperor ANTON!!!!" Emperor Catton angrily yells: "DON'T you DARE address ME by my OLD name! Only my own MONSTERS are ALLOWED to call me that! 'Anton' was my old, LAME name! I don't GO by that name anymore ever since Anton Mercer came along, and with the help of Mesogog, made the name his own! Besides, the name 'Anton' reminds me of when I was young and naive! Dr. Maniac took advantage of 'Emperor Anton', he will NOT take advantage of Emperor CATTON!!!!" Than Emperor Catton calms down and regains his composure, and says: "The truth of the matter is, my reason for TARGETING John Lennon in the FIRST place, was just a way to get under Dr. Maniac's skin and ENRAGE him! Now I'm in HIS mind instead of the other way around! Dr. Maniac is a DEADLY genius, but he's PRONE to 2-dimensional thinking! And THAT'S where I want him! While his mind process is STUCK in a 'Ms. Pac-Man' like maze, I'm free to roam in the THIRD dimension, and run CIRCLES around him! Besides, manipulating the Power Rangers to do what I WANT them to do, in order to free me, is my TRUE goal!" Khorne says: "Well, I don't think we'll be able to risk DIRECTLY involving Lettuce in our schemes anymore! Even a BRAINWASHED Ranger, who STILL has a sense of justice; will NOT cooperate in this scheme of ours!" Emperor Catton says: "Agreed! Not to mention, this, 'Captain Retro' BARKING about and seemingly AWARE of our moves! How does HE have access to the Akhasic Records?! It took me many times of trial and error stuck in this time loop to learn how to access those!" Khorne says: "Even I don't know what the full story of Captain Retro is. He doesn't APPEAR on my 3-D representation on my Xanatos Speed Chess Set!" Emperor Catton asks: "How could he NOT appear?! Anyone who is ALIVE, has a soul, has a brain, and has a heart; HAS to APPEAR on your 3-D representation of a Xanatos Speed Chess Set! And we KNOW Captain Retro has ALL of those qualifications! SURE, he's the avatar of the Dog Deity, Clifford, but even THAT shouldn't prevent you from allowing me access into his mind!" Khorne says: "A dog, he may be; but he's an ELTARIAN dog, anthropomorphized with magic. And he's...immune to any brain washing powers. Not to mention, the Magi-Mother's has blessed him with her...magical protection and knowledge." Emperor Catton says: "BAH!!!! Let him run around! There's STILL only ONE of him, and he CAN'T be everywhere at once! Especially not since he has to ensure that neither Dr. Maniac or us try to target Radiguet now! Do you think Captain Retro is AWARE of how Dr. Maniac is USING all of the energy being accumulated in this Time Rift as an attempt to speed up Queen Metallia's resurrection? Or that we plan to REDIRECT that energy into getting myself into the Nazi Realm?" Khorne says: "I have no way of knowing! We can't CONTROL his mind, let alone see into it! Even ONE variable that I can't account for could make everything be ruined!" Emperor Catton chuckles, and he says: "Don't worry your...well, to put it bluntly, UGLY little head! I'll manage Captain Retro MYSELF if I have to! You just make SURE the energy to get myself TO the Nazi Realm, is pointed to the RIGHT place, when the time comes!" Khorne's eyes narrow, and he suspiciously says: "I'll see what I can do!" And Khorne's image disappears, and the blank void turns white again. Emperor Catton sighs, and he says: "I'm beginning to see WHY Radiguet has such a GRUDGE against the Chaos Gods! They are SO...DIFFICULT to have to deal with! I'm LUCKY that in THIS realm, I can CONTROL when they CAN and CAN'T access this realm, let alone hear or see what I'm TALKING about! Well, let's see which Ranger I should target NEXT!" Emperor Catton puts his right arm forward, and he says: "Void of Time, show me Naruto!!!!" And the void opens up, and shows not just one, but MULTIPLE images of Naruto getting beaten up by HOT rock and roll women of the 1980's! Emperor Catton says: "Looks like I HAVE gotten stronger! I used to only be able to see ONE of these images at a time! Let me freeze these images and view their contents more closely!!" Emperor Catton pulls up one image, and he says: "Hmmm, Naruto getting beaten up by Pat Benatar BEFORE she got married to Neil Girardo? Hard Pass! Naruto getting beaten up by Belinda Carlisle, Jane Wieldin, and the other members of the Go-Go's? Fun, but NO! Naruto getting beaten up by Annie Lennox in between marriages? Nothing that I haven't seen before! OOH!!!! I haven't seen THIS one yet! Naruto getting beaten up by Joan Jett of the Blackhearts?! I've GOT to see this one!" And Emperor Catton shouts: "Void of time, show me North Hollywood, California; May 17, 1980, RIGHT now!" And sure enough, a void opens up to show Naruto (in his Blaze the Nine-Tails persona) holed up somewhere IN some sleazy hotel in North Hollywood, California; still dressed up in his tacky 1980's clothes! And Joan Jett is with him! Emperor Catton materializes a large bag of buttered popcorn and a large Diet Pepsi with no ice, and a comfy movie chair, and he sits down and says: "Boy, Naruto are YOU in for a WORLD of HURT!!!!" And the action shifts to within what Emperor Catton is seeing and words flash on the screen which say: "Unlisted Hotel in North Hollywood, California; May 17, 1980; 5:26 P.M." Joan Jett looks around at the rather...drab and QUESTIONABLE quality of the room Naruto has picked, and she sighs and says: "What I don't understand, Blaze, is WHY you chose to DRAG me to some hotel that even a Five and DIME store wouldn't advertise?" Naruto scoffs and says: "Well, DUH!!!! It's all I can afford on the measly budget I get from performing with Miss 'DIVA'. Diana Manchot! She's all busy hanging out with Pop Star PRINCE, and he's made HER the lead singer of some BAND called 'Vanity 6'. She's gonna change her name to Diana M. and record some tunes! And until her first album and singles come out and I collect some royalties, this is what WE have to settle for!" Joan Jett raises one of her eyebrows and says: "What do you mean, 'We'?" Naruto says: "Isn't it obvious? I'm CRAZY mad in LOVE with you! I LOVE the work you did with The Runaways! Totally underutilized in MY honest opinion! But I could tell that YOU were a Star even back than! And when I heard that you just released your first solo album today, I KNEW that I had to date you!" Joan Jett asks: "You ONLY want to date me because I'm an up and coming rock and roll star?!" Naruto says: "Of course not! I want to date you because you're SMOKING HOT!!!! And smart enough to release an album on your OWN independent label!" Joan Jett opens the hotel door to bring a suitcase of her's inside, and she says: "All right, I'll let you have a 'Turn'. But please note in advance; you ASKED for this! So don't come CRYING and RUNNING to me when this is all over! You GOT that?!" Naruto says: "No, sir! I mean, 'Ma'am'! I mean...'Sir...ma'am...'." Joan Jett says: "Just SHUT up and strip onto the bed BEFORE I change my MIND!" Naruto IMMEDIATELY does what he is told, and jumps onto the bed, with Joan's head BLOCKING the viewer's view of what SHE is seeing! Joan asks: "Are ALL men as short as YOU are in real life, or am I just lucky?" Naruto screams: "I'll get an extension once I get RICH, I SWEAR!!!!" Joan Jett says: "Or, I could try some techniques of my OWN! Now please note, when you have consensual sex with Joan Jett, please don't forget the ACCESSORY B.D.S.M. Whip, Music, and other assorted ACCESSORIES!!!!" And while the viewers don't see any of the naughty action, they STILL see Joan Jett inflicting TONS of physical pain onto Naruto as she whips, hits him with spiked gloves, kicks him HARD with 9 inch high heel shoes, and chokes him as HARD as she can without making him pass out, all to the tune of one of Joan Jett's own songs playing on Joan Jett's boom-box! Joan Jett sings: "I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation! You're living in the past, it's a new generation! A girl can do what she wants to do and that's what I'm gonna do! And I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation! Oh no, no, no not me, me, me, me, me, not me, me, me, me, me, me, me. And I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation! Never said I wanted to improve my station! And I'm only doin' good when I'm havin' fun, And I don't have to please no one! And I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation! Oh no, no, no not me, me, me, me, me, oh no, not me, me, me, me, me. I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation! I've never been afraid of any deviation! And I don't really care if you think I'm strange! I ain't ever gonna change! And I'm never gonna care 'bout my bad reputation! Oh no, no, no, not me, me, me, me, me, oh no, not me, me, me, me, Pedal, boys! (Instrumental Break) And I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation! The world's in trouble, there's no communication! And everyone can say what they wanna to say, it never gets better, anyway! So why should I care about a bad reputation anyway? Oh no, no, no, not me, me, me, me, me, oh no, not me, me, me, me, me, me, me. I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation! You're living in the past, it's a new generation! And I only feel good when I got no pain, And that's how I'm gonna stay! And I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation! Oh no, no, no, not me, me, me, me, me, me, me, oh no, not me, me, me, me, me. Not me, me, me, me, not me; NOT ME!!!!" And the song ends as Joan Jett finishes redressing herself, and she turns to Naruto, and she says: "Well, Blaze; I can safely say that I've spent WORSE evenings than the one I've had today. I've spent a lot better, but I GUESS you got the job done as a 6/10. Try calling again in a few years if you ever get MORE famous, and I'm not ALREADY married!" She leaves the hotel room, and the camera pans over to Naruto, and there's practically not a SINGLE space on his entire body (except for his naughty bits covered by a blanket) which isn't covered in cat scratches or blood, and in a daze, Naruto raises up both his arms and says: "Totally WORTH IT!!!!" / The action shifts back to the Blank Void, as Emperor Catton pauses the action, and Emperor Catton says: "UGH!!!! Naruto is so UTTERLY stupid no matter WHICH woman he tries to date! He doesn't even GET that he LITERALLY just asked Joan Jett to TOTALLY sexually assault him! He's more of a danger to HIMSELF than he is to MY plans! I'm not even going to BOTHER reading HIS mind...if he even HAS one! Waste of precious time and magic, I'd say!" Than a red alarm light fills the air, and Emperor Catton says: "WHAT?! That's NOT Khorne!" Words flash within the void, and a computerized female voice says: "WARNING! UNAVOIDABLE moment in time!" Emperor Catton says: "WHAT?! Are we at THAT point in history already?! This is where Dr. Maniac tries to make his move on Diane Martin! I don't WANT to watch it, but I suppose I've GOT to! Of course, since Captain Retro IS currently there, than Dr. Maniac might get more trouble than he bargained for!" The void opens up a portal, and the red alarm light turns off. The action shifts to what is being viewed within the portal, and words flash on the screen, which says: "Diane Martin's Penthouse Apartment, New York City, New York; May 17, 1980, 8:41 P.M." Inside Diane Martin's Penthouse Apartment, Diane is all dressed up in a pink dress, looking almost exactly like Marilyn Monroe did in "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend". Captain Retro (still in his human disguise) is sitting on one of her VERY comfortable couches, and he asks: "What I DON'T understand is just WHY I can't know who it IS you invited to this late dinner you're having tonight?" Diane says: "First off, you are a guest. And while I understand you have some importance of being here, the fact that you still haven't divulged any more information to me; gives me reason to think that you're HIDING something from me!" Captain Retro, almost exasperated at this point, says: "I've told you 41 times already! This marks the 42nd! I can't TELL you about what the deal IS with me because it could jeopardize YOURS, MINE, and everyone ELSE'S future many YEARS from now! Think of it like the U.S. Government keeping secrets for SECURITY reasons!" Diane says: "Well, I can't! I've LIVED through Watergate, so I THINK you can cut me some SLACK as to why I'm not so EAGER on trusting the U.S. Government!" Captain Retro asks: "Did you ever even CONSIDER that there might be at least TWO WORSE administrations in the future than the one that CAUSED Watergate?!" Diane scoffs, and says: "Let me guess, some VAIN, WHINY, NARCISSISTIC, WOMANIZING, SELF-LOATHING, SELF-IMPORTANT, XENOPHOBIC, BIG NAME, SMALL EGO, White Man whose ONLY reason for living is ROUGHLY proportional to the size of his I.Q.? I'd RATHER be DEAD before THAT ever came to fruition!" Captain Retro groans in frustration, and he says: "Even in the PAST BEFORE I was technically BORN, NOBODY ever listens to me!" Than Diane's bell rings, and she says: "Oh, that would be MY date now; oh, yee of little faith!" Captain Retro looks bewildered, and he says: "Yee?! Haven't heard THAT word get put into rotation for a while!" Diane opens the door, and while she LOOKS at the young 32 year old, brown haired man with loving eyes, Captain Retro's eyes look on in SHOCK, as he IMMEDIATELY recognizes him as a much YOUNGER Dr. Maniac, BEFORE he robot-icized himself! Diane says: "Well, if it isn't Dr. Rick Sanchez. Your reputation for punctuality proceeds you! Welcome to my HUMBLE abode! A modest little place; but when it comes to real estate, you can't beat the location or it's price!" Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "Indeed! Long live deep pockets! It's AMAZING how much happiness money can TRULY buy you, and how much it has brought me! Whoever FIRST sang that 'The best things in life are free', must have had HOLES in their brain!" Captain Retro sternly says: "His NAME was Barrett Strong, and I don't think he ever DREAMED about the amount of money that YOU seem to worship!" Dr. Rick Sanchez briefly twitches, but he composes himself, and he says: "You...didn't say there WOULD be any other guests here!" Diane scoffs, and he says: "Don't MIND him! He is a guest I am keeping here because he has Diplomatic Immunity...or SOMETHING like that. And needs to STAY here until he completes his mission and can go home!" Dr. Rick Sanchez raises an eyebrow, and he says: "Indeed. And is there ANYTHING that YOU know about ME?" Captain Retro, still keeping his volume in check, says: "I know ENOUGH about you and what you're like! Have you even TOLD her about your little SIDE hobbies?!" Dr. Rick Sanchez scoffs, and he says: "So, I LIKE to tinker with CARS in my spare time! What REAL man doesn't?! But MY, we have a BIG dinner ahead of us, so why don't you go to the restroom so you can fit it all in?" Diane says: "Good idea! I'll go 'Powder my nose'." Captain Retro says: "I went 15 minutes ago, I'll pass." Diane says: "Make yourself at home, don't do anything I wouldn't do!" And Diane rushes off to her personal bathroom, and closes the bedroom door behind her! Dr. Rick Sanchez chuckles to himself, and he says: "The moment I've been WAITING for my entire LIFE!!!! Time to become a REAL man the way my FATHER and Professor BIAS never SAID I could BE!!!!" And Dr. Rick Sanchez heads toward Diane's bedroom door, but Captain Retro immediately stands between him and the door, and Captain Retro says: "Didn't you HEAR the NICE lady who invited you into HER house?! Don't DO anything she wouldn't do!" Dr. Rick Sanchez, getting increasingly irate, but still TRYING to keep his temper, says: "In the Soviet Union, they shoot dogs down DEAD when they get old OR disobedient! You want to LIVE a long life? I suggest you MIND your OWN BUSINESS!!!!" Captain Retro says: "Protecting other people from harm IS my business, and if you're as SMART as you SAY you are, you WON'T move another INCH towards the door!" But Dr. Rick Sanchez IMMEDIATELY grabs the door handle, only to find that the door WON'T open! Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "Diane told me she NEVER locks the DOORS in her house!" Captain Retro says: "Did you HONESTLY think I wouldn't take any precautions? If there's one thing I hate WORSE than people who are COMPLETELY intolerant of anyone else who ISN'T like them, it's PEOPLE who are WILLFULLY ignorant and HATEFUL to everyone else! And you treat THOSE statements like it's something to be celebrated, when it's the COMPLETE antithesis OF!" Dr. Rick Sanchez suddenly laughs his signature Dr. Maniac laugh, and he says: "MWA, HA, HA!!!! My ALTERNATE self told me ALL about you, but seeing you in PERSON; you're even SMARTER than I ever could've DREAMED of!" Captain Retro says: "So...you DO know I'm NOT from here?" Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "Not even HERE, you're not even from this PLANET! As a matter of fact, you're not EVEN from this TIME! What gives YOU the right to interfere with MY plans?! And how DARE YOU INTRUDE ON A VERY PRIVATE DINNER?!!!" Captain Retro scoffs in shock, and he says: "Private? PRIVATE?!!! EVERYTHING in a 14 billion light year RADIUS, INCLUDING black holes and the near vacuum of SPACE, COULD hear you!" Dr. Rick Sanchez unleashes his trademark Dr. Maniac scowl, and he says: "Listen, you PATHETIC MUTT!!!! I was DENIED the chance to get the son I WANTED with Diane Martin ONCE, thanks to that LOUSY Dash Drew, and I'm NOT going to be denied again! I have PLANS to unleash the AIDS virus in a year, to wipe out the PATHETIC population of F--!" Captain Retro sternly says: "Keep TALKING like that about Dash Drew and your MOUTH will be MINUS one TONGUE!" Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "That playboy dandy ROBBED me of the life that was RIGHTFULLY mine! So, I'm merely going to return the favor; and rob HIM and everyone else LIKE him of THEIR lives! NOBODY robs the life of a white man who should HAVE EVERYTHING HE WANTS!!!! And NOTHING is going to stop me from GETTING it! Do you want to know WHY?!!! Because unlike everyone ELSE in this PATHETIC universe, I am completely INCAPABLE of making MISTAKES!!!!" Than Captain Retro's eyes suddenly turn COMPLETELY white, and with a seething red AURA forming around him, Captain Retro says: "YOU just made two! You talked about a Power Ranger with the INTENT of using a derogatory term about him, and YOU ACTUALLY managed to make me ANGRY!!!!" Captain Retro screams: "Kaio-Ken X10!!!!" / Back in Emperor Catton's void, Emperor Catton gasps in SHOCK at what his void is registering! Emperor Catton says: "Captain Retro's powers are going UP?! Power level 90,000; 120,000; 180,000; 444,000; 530,000!" And his energy read-out shatters, as if unable to handle anymore! Emperor Catton says: "He BROKE the scale! What kind of mortal HAS such powers, yet doesn't use them whenever he WANTS to?! Even I couldn't have predicted such a dangerous enemy for Dr. Maniac, let alone myself! I sure hope Khorne is RIGHT that he WON'T interfere with MY plans! That dog is worth MORE trouble than I EVER could've bargained for!" / Back in Diane Martin's apartment, the Red Aura COMPLETELY envelops Captain Retro, shedding his human disguise in the process, and Captain Retro begins to mercilessly punch Dr. Rick Sanchez without giving him a chance to even ATTEMPT a punch or a kick! In desperation, Dr. Rick Sanchez pulls out a B.D.S.M. Whip, and attempts to STRIKE Captain Retro with it! At that moment, Diane Martin opens her bedroom door, and sees Dr. Maniac try to STRIKE Captain Retro, but Captain Retro MERELY bats the whip away. And Diane picks up the whip, and reads the writing on it. Diane says: "Property of Dr. Rick Sanchez MANIAC?!!!" Dr. Rick Sanchez manages to break FREE from the punching and he finally yells his trademark Dr. Maniac scream: "NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! This ISN'T WHAT WAS SUPPOSED to happen at ALL!!!! All I HAD to do was to DESTROY every LAST bit of Beatles and John Lennon music in this household, so Diane would be completely weak and helpless while I had my WAY with her!!!!" Diane looks up in shock and she yells: "Have your WAY with me?!!!" Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "It was to be my GLORIOUS DESTINY!!!! All those years of my FATHER saying, 'Oh, Rick, you're MUCH too weak kicking that football. Oh, Rick, you're MUCH too slow running in soccer. Oh, Rick, you hit that baseball like a sissy girl.' Or, 'Rick, why couldn't YOU have been born a red, hot-blooded athlete like I WAS'?!!!! I would've FINALLY proven MY father and Professor Bias wrong! And YOU...!!!! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!!!!" Captain Retro angrily says: "Sorry. But some things are MORE important than Historical Accuracy! And if there's a price that has to be paid, than I'LL pay for it when the time comes! Besides, there was NEVER going to BE a scenario where YOU got your way! You wanna know why?! Because there are SOME questions in this world that don't HAVE a solution to the problem!" Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "LIAR!!!! EVERY problem has a solution! And if I can't FIND one, I'll MAKE one instead! And is THIS what you like?! Is THIS what makes YOU hot?!" Captain Retro angrily says: "WHAT?!!!" And Captain Retro begins to punch Dr. Rick Sanchez some more, until Diane says: "Enough of this! Dr. Rick Sanchez, IF that IS your real name; you are clearly NOT welcome in MY house anymore! If you VALUE what YOU call a life, you'll LEAVE this place and NEVER try to seek me out AGAIN!" Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "FINE!!!! But you're throwing away a MARVELOUS opportunity, the BOTH of you! The humans you swear to protect no matter what? They're all SCUM just like ME, maybe worse! We could've developed a NEW society, FREE from humanity's sins, and there would NEVER be any arguments AGAIN!" Captain Retro says: "Even if your offer WERE sincere, do you REALLY think either of us would accept such an offer?!" Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "Quite frankly, no. You Eltarian dogs are loyal and just to the point of tasting like Diabetes! You know there's now only ONE fate that awaits YOU and Diane eventually; SUDDEN AND INSTANT DEATH!!!!" Diane angrily says: "If you DON'T get out of here RIGHT now, I will kick you in your MANHOOD SO HARD, it will MISSHAPE every OTHER men's manhood, who is LIKE you, in this world, to be shaped just like YOURS!" Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "Like I'm AFRAID of some pathetic SLUT'S--!!!!" But Dr. Rick Sanchez NEVER gets to finish his thought, because Diane kicks him in his pelvic region SO hard, CRIES of men crying out in pain can be heard around the world! / In Emperor Catton's void, Emperor Catton says: "No WONDER Zordon worried about too MUCH Pink Ranger Power! Just look at what Diane just did! Good thing I'm not from THIS world!" / Dr. Rick Sanchez winces in pain and asks: "Are you QUITE happy now?" Captain Retro says: "Like The Byrds once sang, 'I'll Feel a Whole Lot Better When YOU'RE Gone'!" Captain Retro zooms into the kitchen and grabs a bag of ice, and tosses it to Dr. Rick Sanchez! Captain Retro says: "Here, take this little parting gift of ours, and don't go away MAD; just go AWAY!!!!" Dr. Rick Sanchez puts the bag of ice into his pants, and he says: "Very well! I'll BIDE my time!" Dr. Rick Sanchez, with his free right hand, points to Diane, and he says: "And as for YOU, my FINE lady; TRUE, I wasn't able to attend to you NOW as I would've liked! But just TRY to stay out of my way! Just TRY!!!! I'll get you, my pretty! And your mangy dog, TOO!!!!" And Dr. Rick Sanchez leaves, and slams the door in anger! Captain Retro says: "What a TERRIBLE triple-decker, toadstool saurkraut sandwich, with Arsenic Sauce! The NERVE of that man, trying to make other decent men in this world LOOK bad! Power down!" Captain Retro floats down, and Diane asks: "So...is this why...?" Captain Retro turns to Diane and he asks: "NOW do you believe me why I SAID that I had secrets that I was trying to protect?!" Diane says: "To be fair, in MY defense, I've never HAD to deal with deranged, maniacal doctors on a daily basis, or interact with anthropomorphic alien dogs!" Captain Retro says: "Technically speaking, all Earth dogs are just Eltarian dogs that haven't evolved yet. Eltar is a planet that's had a lot more time to evolve than Earth has. And you're right, I wasn't thinking of that. It's...not always easy for me to keep other people's perspectives in mind." Diane asks: "But why did you confront Rick Sanchez? I thought you weren't supposed to." Captain Retro says: "Well, I suppose there's no point in concealing anything from you anymore. From my perspective, this is only a Time Rift. A copy of history. But, as I've already witnessed, a future version of Dr. Maniac, and this other villain named Emperor Catton have already made attacks on established history. And I THINK I know the reason WHY! Diane asks: "But...if this is only a COPY of history...does that mean that I'm not REAL to you? That nothing that we do in this Time Rift matters?" Captain Retro says: "Of COURSE not! You're REAL enough to me, and so is everything else that you do! That's the reason why I protected you! I couldn't BEAR the thought of Dr. Maniac trying to take advantage of you again! I wanted to give you at least ONE timeline where you were spared from his sadistic pain!" Diane says: "You said there might be a price that you have to pay. What price is that?" Captain Retro says: "It relates to the reason WHY Dr. Maniac and Emperor Catton are attacking this Time Rift! Both of them want access to a horrible place called the Nazi Realm, a NASTY dimension that makes what Dr. Maniac wanted to do to you, look like a Saturday in the Park; and I DON'T mean the 'Chicago' song! That's where I come in! While I can't STOP the Nazi Realm from being opened up, I CAN control who gets to go in it!" Diane asks: "How does that help?" Captain Retro says: "Both Dr. Maniac and Emperor Catton ARE bad guys, but in terms of evil, Emperor Catton is FAR tamer than Dr. Maniac is! If Emperor Catton gets into the Nazi Realm, my fellow Power Rangers can follow him and beat him there for good! But if Dr. Maniac, even as he currently is, gets into there; I don't know if the Power Rangers can even win!" Diane says: "So, there WILL be more! I always hoped there would be, but now that I know; I know that I can face anything!" Captain Retro says: "I feel it's only right to warn you, that as of right now; we're in uncharted territory. I now officially HAVE no idea how this version of history is going to play out, thanks to MY interaction! It's...not always an easy line, to try walking on both the side of justice, and historical accuracy. And...as far as the price that I'll have to pay? I'll probably be put out of commission for a while, after I have to direct the energy that will ensure Emperor Catton gets sent to the Nazi Realm. No EASY task, I might add! The Power Rangers will be on their own, fighting against Emperor Catton." Diane says: "Well, there's no point worrying about that for now! You'll just have to deal with it when the time comes." Captain Retro assumes his human disguise again, and he says: "Right! But for now, keep my identity secret to everybody else. I'm not sure if the REST of the world is ready for an anthropomorphic canine just yet." Diane says: "Agreed!" / The action shifts back to Emperor Catton's void, and Emperor Catton says: "What LUCK!!!! Captain Retro is going to put HIMSELF out of commission, just to make sure I get sent to the Nazi Realm! It seems like Captain Retro HATES Dr. Maniac more than he hates ME! Though to be honest, one can hardly BLAME him!" Emperor Catton scans the Void and says: "Hmmm, it seems there are no further issues with which I have to deal with in this year. Perhaps a little Chrono Clock action would...speed things up! Hands of Time, fast-forward to the next interaction that the Power Rangers have with Dr. Maniac!" And Emperor Catton's Chrono Clock powers speed forward to December 31, 1982, at 5:00 P.M., with a void opening up to Miami, Florida! Emperor Catton pulls up the details of the void, and he says: "OOH!!!! Looks like Lettuce and Bonkers, those 'Miami Vice' wanna-bes, are hot on the trail of FireHawk, pretending to be a brainwashed Drug Lord! Was being the unruly Tomboy of the family THAT hard on you, FireHawk? Did your DADDY never love you, and your mother couldn't care LESS?! Showering all their LOVE on polite StarHawk while treating you LIKE you didn't exist? Trying to MAKE something impressive of yourself in order to impress them? I could care LESS about your PATHETIC Freudian excuses, but I think it's time to introduce you to MY army! And UNLESS you want me to divulge your sinister SECRET to Naruto and the other Rangers, I think it's an offer you can't refuse! Time to find out where you've been hiding!" Emperor Catton zooms in on FireHawk's hidden location, to a FAMILIAR restaurant location called "Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria"! Emperor Catton says: "Ooh! CLEVER girl! Hiding in a restaurant filled with faulty animatronics that no one will enter once it's NIGHT?! And Dr. Maniac is the reason for the Animatronics malfunctioning in conjunction with William Afton! You're very cagey Firehawk, I'll give you THAT much! But I believe Lettuce and Bonkers will be on your trail soon enough, once I free ONE of the Animatronics from Dr. Maniac's corrupt influence! Now, which one of them should I pick?" Emperor Catton looks through the selection of the seven Animatronics located in Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, and he says: "Toy Chica, I choose YOU!!!!" The Void opens up with purple energy, and Toy Chica drops INSIDE of the Void! Toy Chica, with a voice VERY similar to both Vipera and Abby Little, says: "Huh? What happened?! One minute, I was seeing these two DERANGED scientists HACKING into my fellow robot's circuits...and than, nothing. And the next thing I know, I'm here! But who ARE you; and how did I get HERE?!" Emperor Catton says: "Don't focus on me! You need to focus on helping your friends! Those two evil scientists are named Dr. Maniac and William Afton! They're planning on using your robot friends to attack innocent children, all as payback for William getting fired AND losing one of his own children!" Toy Chica says: "Oh no! That's terrible!" Emperor Catton says: "Not to worry! Things aren't ENTIRELY hopeless for your friends! The original programming for your friends is still buried within their data-banks, and can be reactivated by someone who is good at solving mysteries!" Toy Chica says: "Well, that settles it! I have to help my friends!" Emperor Catton says: "Uh, yeah; you do. And I can give you a little infusion of MY energy in order to help you fight off against ANYONE who tries to re-program YOU again!" And Emperor Catton waves his hand, and a purple aura surrounds Toy Chica. Emperor Catton says: "So, now; the rest is up to you. I will send you to the police department where the well-known Miami detectives, Lettuce and Bonkers reside. They will help you to free your fellow Animatronics from the evil programming grip of those evil scientists! And just for an added incentive, tell them that you know where the Drug Lord FireHawk is! I have a feeling that they are WANTING to catch her!" Toy Chica says: "Will do!" And Emperor Catton warps her out of the Void! Emperor Catton says: "Dr. Maniac, you will soon find that there is NO plot you can come up with, that I can't use and turn into something that benefits only me! FireHawk may want to gain your trust to steal YOUR technology, but I'll see to it that she NEVER gets that far! Mwa, ha, ha, ha, ha!" / The action shifts again, and words flash on the screen, and they say "Miami, Florida; Police Department - ICE Unit; Where We Put ALL Criminals on ICE! December 31, 1982; 5:00 P.M." In the police station unit, Lettuce and Bonkers are currently residing in there. Due to it being New Year's Eve, they are also the only police officers on duty! Bonkers says: "Man! I hate being stuck here on New Year's Eve! Of course, I'd probably hate being stuck here on any OTHER holiday! Why did YOU agree for us to stay here, while such fellow officers like Lucky Piquel and Miranda Wright get to live it up tonight for a New Year's Eve celebration?!" Lettuce, now sporting an iconic 1980's blazer outfit, shades, and INEXPLICABLY a brown mustache, turns around, and says: "I TOLD you, Bonkers; Lucky Piquel's cases have been VERY hard on him during the time that he's known you. And Miranda is still...well; inexperienced for lack of a better word. Besides, not only are we getting paid time AND a half; statistically speaking, we're the best CHOICE for an emergency in case something turns up!" And just at that moment, Toy Chica bursts in! Toy Chica asks: "Are you the well-known police detectives Lettuce and Bonkers? You two have to help me!" Bonkers sighs, and he says: "Why can't ANYONE ever come in asking to just help them get a CAT down from a tree anymore, or something like that?" Lettuce says: "Oh, don't pretend you don't like getting into antics like THIS on a weekly basis? Besides, I make it a policy to NEVER turn down a request from a lady, even if it IS a robot!" Bonkers says: "Well, nice to know that Chivalry ISN'T dead! But I bet she can't pass the Turing Test!" Toy Chica says: "Okay, maybe it IS just my programming saying that I need somebody else's help! But SOMEBODY had to WRITE it, first!" Lettuce says: "OOH, she's got you THERE; Bonkers! Anyways, how can we help?" Toy Chica says: "My fellow Animatronics have been corrupted by two evil scientists! Dr. Maniac and William Afton! If we don't free them from their corrupted programming, they'll unintentionally HARM innocent children when they least suspect it!" Bonkers says: "That's just TERRIBLE! But...how do WE know your programming hasn't been corrupted either, and you're just trying to lure us into a trap?" Toy Chica says: "Use your head! If I was GOING to lead you into a trap, do you think I would have WARNED you about my fellow Animatronics' programs being corrupted BEFOREHAND?! Besides, the notorious drug lord FireHawk is hiding there!" Lettuce says: "Ooh! She's got you two for two, Bonkers! Usually, I have to pay EXTRA for that! Of course, we'd be GLAD to help! Just tell us where to take you!" Bonkers says: "Well, DUH!!!! The Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria right here in town! It's the only place she LOGICALLY could've come from!" Lettuce says: "Bonkers, NEVER automatically assume anything! Even with Animatronics! I certainly try not to! Besides, I heard that some up and coming musician named Blaze the Ninetales is going to be the opening act for the Freddy Fazbear band tonight! We're not going to miss a chance to see a COOL musical act like THAT!" Toy Chica says: "Than let's waste no more time!" And all three of them rush outside, to get into their VERY cool police car! Bonkers says: "I just LOVE being a police detective! Punch it, Lettuce!" And Lettuce turns the ignition, starts the car, and turns on a ROCKING George Thorogood and Destroyers song (that from their perspective, is only three months old and still brand new), "Bad To The Bone!" George Thorogood sings: "On the day I was born, the nurses all gathered 'round. And they gazed in wide wonder, at the joy they had found. The head nurse spoke up, said 'Leave this one alone.' She could tell right away, that I was bad to the bone. Bad to the bone! Bad to the bone! B-B-B-B-Bad. B-B-B-B-Bad. B-B-B-B-Bad. Bad to the bone! I broke a thousand hearts, before I met you. I'll break a thousand more, baby; before I am through. I wanna be yours, pretty baby. Yours and yours alone. I'm here to tell ya, honey; that I'm bad to the bone! Bad to the bone! B-B-B-B-Bad. B-B-B-B-Bad. B-B-B-B-Bad. Bad to the bone! (Instrumental Break) I make a rich woman beg, I'll make a good woman steal. I'll make an old woman blush, and make a young girl squeal! I wanna be yours pretty baby, yours and yours alone. I'm here to tell ya, honey; that I'm bad to the bone! B-B-B-B-Bad. B-B-B-B-Bad. B-B-B-B-Bad. Bad to the bone! (Instrumental Break) And when I walk the streets, Kings and Queens step aside! Every woman I meet, they all stay satisfied! I wanna tell ya, pretty baby; well, ya see I make my own. I'm here to tell ya, honey; that I'm bad to the bone! Bad to the bone! B-B-B-B-Bad. B-B-B-Bad. B-B-B-Bad. Bad to the bone!" (Instrumental Solo to the end of the song). Approaching the top of a freeway off-ramp, Toy Chica says: "My Restaurant is at the bottom of this off-ramp! Use the breaks and slow down!" Lettuce puts his foot down on the break, only to find that it's NOT responding to him! Lettuce says: "Uh-oh! The break is shot! It must have broken after all the times we used the break to make a COOL entrance! We HAVE no breaks!!!!" And they zoom INTO the air, screaming: "AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Until suddenly, just a few moments from hitting the ground, the car suddenly SPUTTERS and comes to a complete stop IN mid-air! Bonkers says: "Sorry, folks! We ran out of gas!!!!" Toy Chica says: "Uh, that's NOT how your police car works!" And in a "Puff of Logic," the car than drops the remaining few feet and hits the ground! Bonkers sarcastically says: "Nice going, BABE!" Toy Chica says: "BABE?! Did he just call me, 'BABE'?!" Lettuce says: "I don't know! I kind of blanked out while we were flying through the air!" The three of them get out of the mostly intact police car in front of the restaurant, only to find Naruto as Blaze, Diane Martin, and Captain Retro still in his human guise! Captain Retro says: "Well, it's about time you got here, Lettuce!" Lettuce says: "I recognize that voice! You're the one who told me of my name!" Toy Chica says: "Wait! You MEAN you didn't even know of your name?! How did HE know?!" Captain Retro says: "Well, first off; let me introduce myself! I'm Captain Retro, this is Diane Martin! We just moved here from New York City!" Diane says: "I couldn't TAKE the traffic anymore! And the cold winters! Here, it's sunny skies and easy tans as FAR as the eye can see!" Bonkers says: "Except in the HURRICANE season; in which case, WATCH out!" Naruto says: "Isn't ANYONE excited to see ME?!" Toy Chica asks: "And YOU are?" Naruto sputters, and he says: "Why, I'm BLAZE the Nine-Tales! I'm the guy who made out with Joan Jett of the BlackHearts and LIVED! I'm the guy who does ALL the work playing guitar on Vanity 6's singles and albums! I'm GOING to become a member of heavy metal band Motley Crue SOMEDAY!" Captain Retro says: "Well, EVEN if you do; you'll STILL never eclipse anything that The Beatles have done, are doing, or WILL do! You didn't RELEASE the multi-platinum "Somewhere In England" featuring ALL of The Beatles writing and singing lead on at least one song on the album! I just LOVE hearing John Lennon's duet with Stevie Wonder on 'Ebony And Ivory'." Naruto asks: "Why would I WANT to be LIKE The Beatles?! I want to be my OWN thing! Why I want to know is, why is this restaurant CLOSED?! I'm supposed to be PERFORMING here tonight! I want to get my OWN label recognition and some SERIOUS gigs!" Toy Chica says: "There are MORE important things in the world than YOU having a gig! You could HELP me rescue my fellow Animatronics!" Naruto sputters, and asks: "How hard could THAT be?! Just stand aside; and I'll show you brute force isn't the answer to EVERYTHING!!!!" Over the communicators, Queen Hedrian asks: "Uh, is he going to be okay?" Omnus says: "Nope! Safe to say, he WON'T be!" Emperor Catton suddenly appears on the scene, and he says: "I'm NOT all powerful, you know! Naruto's COMPLETE and UTTER Ignorance, Stupidity, Stubbornness, and inability to listen to ANYONE smarter than he is, which is pretty much everybody; is one factor in history that even I'M unable to change, EVEN if I wanted to!" A blue void in time opens up; BlackHawk, StarHawk, and Usagi step out of it, and BlackHawk says: "FINALLY!!!! Someone says SOMETHING about Naruto that I ACTUALLY agree with!" Naruto says: "First of all, the name is BLAZE! And you'll be sorry for doubting me!" Diane opens up her STILL damaged Pink Limo, pulls out a BUNCH of popcorn and diet drinks for everyone else who can drink, and Captain Retro says: "TOLD you we would see a show!" Diane asks: "Aren't WE going to help him?!" StarHawk says: "It's better if Naruto tries it first! If we help him NOW, than he'll NEVER learn anything valuable from this experience!" Naruto BRACES himself as if he's going to BREAK through the glass sliding doors of the restaurant, but than they INEXPLICABLY open by themselves, and the restaurant lights come on, causing Naruto to COMICALLY fall onto the floor! Naruto says: "COME ON!!!! Why DIDN'T it open for ME before?!" An animatronic, white fox head winds in, and with an AMBIGUOUS gender voice, making it HARD to tell whether it's a male or a female, says: "Because we don't like YOUR kind, and don't like people who THINK they are BETTER than us Animatronics!" Naruto says: "Come on! There's no NEED to act like that! You know, a SMILE would suit that PRETTY face of yours, better!" But the white fox head just stares at Naruto blankly, and Naruto, talking louder, says: "I SAID, 'A smile--'!" But Naruto NEVER gets to finish his thought as the White Fox head BITES his left hand, causing Naruto to leap back in pain! Naruto cries: "YOW!!!! 'SHE' bit me without saying a word! Even Joan Jett had better manners!" The White fox Head says: "First of all, I, Mangle, am ABOVE such petty classifications such as 'Male' and 'Female'! I prefer to call MYSELF a 'Yes'! Secondly, when CREEPY, SLIMY, Narcissistic CREEPS like YOU talk to ME like that, my defenses act up; so BACK off!" Naruto asks: "NARCISSISTIC?!!!" Emperor Catton rears back in laughter, and he says: "Wah, ha, ha, ha! What a way for Mangle to turn the tables! What CRYPTIC creatures Robots are!" Over the communicators, Alpha 8 asks: "CRYPTIC?! Is THAT what they're calling it, now?" A familiar female voice says: "Stop all that RACKET!!!! Who DARES to open this restaurant when I specifically wanted IT--?!" And FireHawk, dressed in GAUDY (even by 1980's standards) attire, steps into the light, and sees Naruto, and she asks: "YOU?!" Captain Retro says: "If I didn't KNOW any better, I think YOU recognized that guy!" FireHawk says: "Why wouldn't I recognize the GUY who played guitar on that one Vanity 6 song? How did it go? Oh, yeah! 'Making love until the dawn, making love to cherry bomb! Erotic city, come alive'!" Naruto says: "That's ME, all right! SEE?! I KNEW somebody would RECOGNIZE me!" Captain Retro says: "Statistically speaking, I suppose SOMEBODY has to!" Usagi says: "UGH!!!! I can't BELIEVE Dr. Maniac's brainwashing made Naruto THIS dumb!" Captain Retro says: "Oh, no. He's ALWAYS been THIS stupid! You just didn't notice because you were younger and your mind was more easily entertained by his CHEAP antics of 'Tomfoolery' and 'Buffoonery', not necessarily in that order!" Toy Chica says: "Come on, Mangle! Let us THROUGH! I've got to help free my fellow Animatronics!" A familiar voice comes from SPRINGTRAP, and William Afton's voice (which sounds a LOT like Alice Cooper's) says: "Can't let my FOX, do that!" Bonkers says: "No WONDER Lucky and Miranda could NEVER find you! You were hiding WITHIN Springtrap! I'll give him credit, that's some SERIOUS dedication!" Captain Retro says: "The voice of Alice Cooper in THIS timeline?! Actually, I can TOTALLY see it!" Springtrap says: "FireHawk and Dr. Maniac are in the middle of making a deal! FireHawk gives Dr. Maniac all the drugs HE wants to perfect his robot mind controlling powers, and Dr. Maniac gives FireHawk all the Miami ICE that she wants! And by 'Ice', I mean 'Diamonds'! She plans on going back to her home-world to become the SUCCESSFUL sibling she has always WANTED to be!" StarHawk says: "What?! You mean she's NOT brainwashed?!" Captain Retro says: "Naruto; you know, somehow, 'I told you so'...JUST doesn't quite say it." FireHawk says: "Go ahead, JUDGE me! Like you judge EVERYBODY else! You have no idea what it was LIKE for me! Having practically the SAME face as my SISTER does, yet being treated like I didn't even exist! I literally DIED once, and even THAN, my parents BARELY sent my sister a 'Sorry For Your Loss' card! That's when I KNEW that the only way I was EVER going to get THEIR attention, was by making SO much money, they couldn't POSSIBLY ignore me!" BlackHawk says: "As your brother-in-law, I feel it only RIGHT to tell you; that you can't TRUST making a deal with Dr. Maniac! He's going to utterly betray YOU and THINK nothing of it!" FireHawk scoffs, and says: "Well, DUH!!!! Do you think I would ever give him something ACTUALLY useful?! I gave him LOADS of expired prescription drugs, which should wear off right about--." And suddenly Mangle starts to short-circuit, and collapses to the ground. Mangle moans, and says: "It...wasn't meant to last. It wasn't meant to last!" Lettuce says: "Uh...I'm confused. Is FireHawk on the level, or NOT?" Springtrap says: "I don't CARE! Either way, I'll take care of you MYSELF!!!!" Toy Chica says: "STOP!!!!" And right as Snaptrap tries to SAVAGELY bite Lettuce's head off, Toy Chica's Cupcake gets LODGED in Snaptrap's mouth! Electricity short-circuits from the cupcake, and a bolt HITS Lettuce, while another bolt DISLODGES FireHawk's power morphers, and they FLY into Bonker's arms, and ACTIVATE! / Bonkers says: "Power of Earth! Air!" / And Bonkers morphs into a MALE version of the black Ranger, but now the outfit also has SHINY Orange highlights on it, as if to mark Bonkers being the black Ranger! FireHawk says: "CURSE the Morpher's Memory! Lousy Eltarian technology! As soon as it finds a suitable user, it gives them everything they need to KNOW about becoming a Ranger!" Captain Retro says: "I don't care WHAT your reasons for dealing with Dr. Maniac are! WRONG, is WRONG! And you are SO wrong for the Ranger Powers now! Even EBONY would be a better fit for the Black Ranger, now!" BlackHawk asks: "Who is THAT?!" StarHawk says: "Nobody important, BlackHawk!" Lettuce says: "Hey, guys! I remember EVERYTHING!!!! That bolt brought back my memory! I...can't believe I got brainwashed by Dr. Maniac! And where's Pinkie?!" Diane says: "I think you've got BIGGER problems to worry about!" And sure enough, Toy Freddy, Toy Bonnie, Marionette, and Balloon Boy come out of their hiding places and join Springtrap! Snaptrap says: "Just as a little precaution, I installed my OWN backup system to supplant Dr. Maniac's, in case HIS got ruined!" FireHawk says: "You can't be SERIOUS!!!! You can't hurt innocent kids! Do I STILL get my diamonds?" Springtrap says: "NO!!!! Fool that Dr. Maniac was to trust YOU; but a bigger fool YOU were to not TRUST anyone BESIDES yourself, ESPECIALLY your sister and her FRIENDS, IF you ever THOUGHT of them as FRIENDS!" FireHawk angrily says: "But Dr. Maniac PROMISED me a cut of ALL of his profits! He PROMISED me a freaking PERCENTAGE!!!!" Springtrap raises his robotic arm, stops FireHawk from punching him, and lifts her up like a rag doll! Springtrap says: "Next time, get it in WRITING!!!! Nothing PERSONAL!!!!" And Springtrap THROWS FireHawk out of the front window, and right into Emperor Catton's arms! Emperor Catton says: "I KNEW you would come to me!" Captain Retro says: "Emperor Catton, if you value your NINE lives; put FireHawk down! She is OURS to deal with!" Emperor Catton says: "Come on, why do you hate me? We BOTH want the same thing! We want FireHawk to taste the sweet, SWEET taste of justice!" Captain Retro says: "I don't BUY that for a NANO-Second! And DON'T assume I hate you, just because you're an alien cat! And don't hate ME just because I'm an alien dog!" Emperor Catton says: "You're all about justice, right? Very well, I'll PAY for FireHawk's sins on my OWN accord! Go ahead, take away one of MY nine lives!" But before Captain Retro can even answer, Lettuce says: "Gladly! It's MORPHING Time!" / StarHawk says: “Power of Mercury! Water!!!!” / Lettuce says: “Power of Jupiter! Lightning!!!!” / Usagi says: “Cosmorpher! Sailor Moon! White Ranger Power!!!!” / BlackHawk says: “Power of the Sun! Gold!!!!” / Bonkers jumps in, to join them, and he says: "Look at us! Now we're BOTH Rangers!" Lettuce grabs his hammer and he says: "I KNOW! It's AWESOME!!!! And to Paraphrase a Beatles song; 'Bang, bang; Lettuce's Silver Hammer falls down on your head! Bang, bang, Lettuce's Silver Hammer will make sure you are DEAD'!" And Lettuce swings the hammer with all of his might, but to his SURPRISE, Emperor Catton's head SQUISHES with a cartoon sound effect, and than bounces back as if NOTHING happened! Emperor Catton says: "I'm impressed. You actually MANAGED to take away just ONE of my Nine lives!" Usagi asks: "You mean...we got to KILL you EIGHT more TIMES?!" Emperor Catton says: "And THAT was your ONLY free hit! I think I'm done with YOU guys, here! Do whatever you WANT with this restaurant, but FireHawk is coming with me!" Captain Retro says: "No, wait!!!!" But Emperor Catton and FireHawk disappear into a blank void without a trace! BlackHawk says: "Oh, no! He's GONE again! Somebody's got to put a TRACKING device on that...cat thing!" Marionette suddenly reaches to grab the Morphed Rangers, and he says: "Did Springtrap say you could LEAVE?! We haven't even BEGUN to have a fight, yet!!!!" And Marionette YANKS the other Rangers BACK into the restaurant, and throws up a FORCE Field around it so that Captain Retro CAN'T get in! Captain Retro says: "UGH!!!! I've been cut OFF!!!!" Diane asks: "But you have a Force Field of your OWN! Can't you just throw it up to enter that restaurant regardless?" Captain Retro says: "I would, but it looks like Dr. Maniac has already thought of that. That Force Field is designed to operate at the EXACT opposite frequency as mine! I can't get through no matter how much I want to!" Diane asks: "But what about the other Rangers?" Captain Retro says: "Don't worry about them, they'll be all right! They've gotten out of tighter spots than this! You brought the music I asked you to bring?" Diane pulls out a cassette of Alice Cooper's "Welcome To My Nightmare", and puts it into a boom-box, and she says: "Well, I always do! But, why?" Naruto says: "And what good will THAT do?!" Captain Retro says: "You'll see! Because my music inspires the Rangers to save the day! And they'll be able to help Toy Chica save the other Animatronics!" Captain Retro pushes the play button, and the action shifts to inside the restaurant. / Toy Chica asks Lettuce and Bonkers: "Are you STILL going to be able to help me?" Lettuce says: "We'll still be able to free the Animatronics, but under the circumstances; I'm afraid there's only one way we can free them!" Usagi asks: "You mean...?" Lettuce says: "That's right! We'll have to BEAT the evil programming out of them! It's the only way!" Springtrap says: "Like you could EVER beat the evil programming of MY Animatronics!" Toy Chica says: "WE are not YOUR Animatronics! Like we'd EVER willingly follow the commands of a CREEP like you! And I have these friends I can rely on! Don't MESS with them! Springtrap; welcome to YOUR nightmare!!!!" And sure enough, Alice Cooper's OWN voice fills the room, as dark moody music fills the air, as Bonkers fights Balloon Boy, Lettuce fights Marionette, Usagi fights Toy Bonnie, StarHawk fights Toy Freddie, and BlackHawk fights Springtrap! Alice Cooper sings: "Welcome to my nightmare, I think you're gonna like it. I think you're gonna feel you belong. A nocturnal vacation, unnecessary sedation. You want to feel at home 'cause you belong. Welcome to my nightmare, whoa-whoa-oh! Welcome to my breakdown, I hope I didn't scare you! That's just the way we are when we come down! We sweat and laugh and scream here, 'cause life is just a dream here! You know inside you feel right at home here! Welcome to my breakdown, whoa-whoa-oh! You're welcome to my nightmare, yeah-yeah-ah! (Musical break, during which the Animatronics get beaten down one by one, until only Springtrap is left!) Welcome to my nightmare! I think you're gonna like it! I think you're gonna feel you belong! We sweat and laugh and scream here, 'cause life is just a dream here! You know inside you feel right at home here! Welcome to my nightmare, ooh-ooh-ooh!" And the Rangers all simultaneously point their weapons at Springtrap, and to his horror, William Afton finds that he can't ESCAPE from Springtrap, as the mechanism has locked him in TIGHT! Springtrap can only sing: "Welcome to my breakdown!"(BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) / And the song ends as Springtrap/William Afton is completely destroyed, and the other Animatronics whir back to life! Toy Freddie (sounding a LOT like Fred Schneider) says: "On behalf of the other Animatronics here, I want to thank you for saving us. I shudder to think what WOULD'VE happened if we had HURT anybody!" Bonkers says: "No, problem! But you know, I thought YOU would sound more like Freddie Mercury!" Toy Bonnie (who sounds a lot like Bonnie Tyler) says: "You're thinking of REGULAR Freddy! He's currently on loan at our Sister Location!" Balloon Boy (who sounds a lot like Weird Al Yankovic) says: "At least NOW I can get back to my job of handing out balloons to everybody! WHEE!!!!" StarHawk asks: "What about Marionette and Mangle? They look too badly beaten up to use anymore." Toy Chica says: "We can combine their remaining working parts, and turn him into Toy Foxy! I'm sure the fans won't mind!" Lettuce says: "Oh, my! In all our excitement, we almost forgot about New Year's Eve! What time is it now?!" Toy Freddie says: "It's just about midnight!" And sure enough, the TV turns on, and Captain Retro, Naruto and Diane rush in, to see the Times Square Ball dropping down! The Morphed Rangers take off their helmets, and Everyone says: "Ten! Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, ONE!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!" Toy Bonnie says: "Welcome to 1983! I have a GOOD feeling about this year!" Captain Retro says: "Well, with William Afton out of the picture; I have a feeling that ANYTHING is possible!" BlackHawk looks through the restaurant, and says: "Well, if Dr. Maniac WAS here; he's long gone. No trace of him LEFT here!" Usagi says: "He must have bolted it as soon as he discovered FireHawk deceived him!" Captain Retro says: "He's not the ONLY one FireHawk deceived!" And he looks to Naruto, who looks all depressed! Naruto says: "That woman...I don't know why; but I feel like...I knew her. I LOVED her! I thought she loved ME! So, why would she BETRAY me?!" StarHawk says: "Even I don't know the answer to that one! I...know my parents didn't always treat my sister like they should; but FireHawk has NEVER been so aggressively...aggressive as she was today." Lettuce says: "Well, WE will just have to ask FireHawk about THAT once we get to her, won't we?!" Bonkers asks: "Did you say, 'WE'?! As in, 'All of us'?!" Captain Retro says: "Of course! Not just ANYONE can be a Ranger! A morpher chooses its user based on how good, heroic, selfless, and compassionate they are! That morpher chose YOU, once FireHawk was no longer worthy of wielding its power! And Bonkers? I think you're the right toon to be the NEW Black Ranger!" Toy Chica says: "And I want to personally thank you for helping me! I never would've been able to free the other Animatronics without your help!" Diane Martin says: "Well, that's what Rangers do; pretty routine." Naruto says: "Ummm, I'm STILL going to get paid for ACTUALLY showing up; right?!" Balloon Boy says: "UGH; FINE!!!!" And he hands Naruto a $20 bill, and Naruto sarcastically says: "Cool. An Andrew Jackson! I can TOTALLY retire! No WONDER The Beatles never take private gigs!" And Naruto gets in his car and leaves! BlackHawk asks: "Shouldn't have someone told HIM about being a Ranger?" Captain Retro says: "The Akhasic Records says that the time is not right for him, or Pinkie Pie." Lettuce says: "So, Pinkie Pie is around here somewhere?" StarHawk says: "Well, she IS; but, you're NOT going to like what she is doing." Lettuce asks: "Why? What HAS she been doing?!" Usagi says: "Well...she's been making out with Prince...and NOW; Michael Jackson!" Lettuce says: "Well...I was brainwashed! She's got to be, to! She'd NEVER make out with men who WEREN'T her husband if she WASN'T brainwashed!" Toy Freddie says: "I hope you're right, pal!" And just right than, the time void opens up. Captain Retro says: "Well, Lettuce. Looks like YOU'LL find out for yourself, soon enough! I wish I could go with you guys, but I've STILL got to take the long crawl! And don't worry about the Miami Police Department, I've already explained everything to Lucky and Miranda in a way they can understand. They can handle everything else from here!" Bonkers says: "Thank you! And don't worry, I will make you PROUD of me, as a Power Ranger!" And the other Rangers enter into the Time Void! Diane says: "Your friends certainly go a LONG way, and a long time, to ensure that evil is brought to justice!" Captain Retro says: "I'm just glad they have a new ally they can rely on! One thing's for certain though, their mission is not over yet. They STILL have to confront FireHawk! I just hope Naruto will be ready for THAT...when the time comes!" To Be Continued...

To summarize this episode, Patrick loses a tooth (than teeth by SOMEHOW acting like a slot machine), and puts the teeth under his pillow hoping for a visit from the Tooth Fairy! But a burglar (who's the SAME burglar that Mrs. Puff had a foot fetish for), breaks into Patrick's Rock, hoping to find money! But not only does THAT not happen, through a bizarre set of circumstances, the burglar gets punched, tripped, and collapses the CONTENTS of Patrick's rock, so that when Patrick wakes up; Patrick thinks he's looking at the REAL Tooth Fairy! Not wanting to be found out, the Burglar pulls a "Sure, Let's Go With That", and gets Spongebob and Patrick to become his 'Tooth Fairy Helpers'. The Burglar hopes they'll be SO distracted removing teeth, they won't notice the Burglar trying to steal money and other valuables! The first place they visit is Bubble Bass' house (and out of all the houses they visit, Bubble Bass is the ONLY one that HAD a tooth that actually WARRANTED removing!) But in Spongebob and Patrick's quest to remove Bubble Bass' tooth, they unintentionally cause the Burglar to suffer a LOT of pain, while Spongebob and Patrick take a LOT of money from the Burglar's sack of money, and give it to Bubble Bass, making Bubble Bass arguably the biggest earner of money from a Tooth Fairy payment in HISTORY! And none of the other houses that Spongebob, Patrick, and the Burglar visit (including a whale who MIGHT be Pearl's Mom, meaning that Mr. Krabs and his first wife have been DIVORCED all this time); turn out any better for the Burglar, as he ARGUABLY loses FAR more money and valuables than anything he tries to steal! When The Burglar attempts to steal from Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs finds them out, and tells Spongebob and Patrick point BLANK that they are NOT with the Real Tooth Fairy! But the Burglar pulls a "Clap Your Hands If You Believe", so that Spongebob and Patrick will STILL follow him! Unfortunately, the cops ALSO follow the Burglar, and corner him at the top of a cliff! Unfortunately, the Burglar's ploy to make Spongebob and Patrick believe he IS the Tooth Fairy works TOO well, because they push him OFF a cliff, thinking he can fly, and throw the van down it ONTO him; thinking that it ALSO can fly! It's only THEN that they realize that he WASN'T the Tooth Fairy, when who of ALL creatures except the REAL Tooth Fairy should appear?! (I have to wonder who they got to voice her?) In any case, the Tooth Fairy is SO impressed with Spongebob and Patrick's work of collecting teeth, she decides to make them REAL Honorary Tooth Fairy helpers, wings and all (so I guess Spongebob can now fly for REAL now!) For making an episode with an interesting premise, I give this episode a 9.9 out of 10. Enough said, true believers!

Long episode ahead, so I'll just get right to it! / (Cold Open) The episode opens up INSIDE of a cold, steel machine, filled with white light; and words flash on the screen, and they say: "The INSIDE of Queen Metallia's Machine, in Queen Galaxia's (formerly Queen Beryl's) Palace; April 1, 2179; 4:55 P.M." Queen Beryl and Abaddon find themselves falling down WITHIN Queen Metallia's Machine (after being zapped into there by Queen Galaxia) and they suddenly start hearing the opening chords of Tom Petty and the Heartbreaker's "The Waiting Is The Hardest Part". Queen Beryl asks: "Is SOMEBODY actually expecting us here?" Abaddon says: "I don't know, but I have GOT to find out what the rest of their playlist is like!" Tom Petty (and the Heartbreakers) sing: "Oh baby, don't it feel like heaven right now? Don't it feel like something from a dream? Yeah, I've never known nothing quite like this. Don't it feel like tonight might never be again? Baby, we know better than to try and pretend. Honey, no one coulda ever told me 'bout this. I said yeah, yeah. (Yeah, yeah.) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The waiting is the hardest part. Every day you see one more card. You take it on faith, you take it to the heart. The waiting is the hardest part. Well yeah, I might have chased a couple women around. All it ever got me was down. Then there were those that made me feel good. But never as good as I feel right now. Baby, you're the only one that's ever known how to make me wanna live like I wanna live now. I said yeah, yeah. (Yeah, yeah.) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The waiting is the hardest part. Every day you get one more yard. You take it on faith, you take it to the heart. The waiting is the hardest part. Oh, don't let it kill you baby, don't let it get to you. Don't let it kill you baby, don't let it get to you. I'll be your bleedin' heart, I'll be your cryin' fool. Don't let this go too far, don't let it get to you! (Instrumental break) Yeah, yeah. (Yeah, yeah.) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The waiting is the hardest part. Every day you get one more yard. You take it on faith, you take it to the heart. The waiting is the hardest part. Yeah, the waiting is the hardest part. Oh. Is the hardest part. Oh. Is the hardest part. Oh." And the song finally ends as Queen Beryl and Abaddon land softly on steel ground. Abaddon says: "If someone told me at the start of today that we would find ourselves WITHIN Queen Metallia's Machine, I would've LAUGHED my HEAD off!" A familiar voice says: "You're not the ONLY one!" Queen Beryl, in shock, asks: "Nephrite?!" Nephrite enters out of the shadows, and she says: "So, you DO remember me?" Abaddon says: "I thought YOU were dead!" Nephrite says: "Well, my body WAS destroyed, but; I guess NONE of us read the FINE print when we signed our contracts to Queen Galaxia!" Queen Beryl asks: "What do you mean?" Nephrite says: "When one of us Youma falls in battle to the Power Rangers, it isn't just the energy we collect that winds up inside of Queen Metallia's Machine, it's our souls; as well!" Abaddon says: "So, you've actually SEEN others fall down here, to?!" Nephrite nods, and sadly says: "Yes. All of the Youma that fell after I did, wound up here. I've seen all of them try their best to fight off against Queen Metallia, but none ever succeed. Even trapped in here, she's MORE powerful than ANY of us could've imagined!" Queen Beryl excitedly asks: "Powerful enough to help me get REVENGE against that LOUSY Dr. Maniac and that TRAITOROUS Queen Galaxia?!" Nephrite says: "You don't GET it! Queen Metallia doesn't CARE about your need to get revenge against Dr. Maniac; she's not even ON Queen Galaxia's side! Her only allegiance is to HERSELF and HERSELF alone, she's just like Queen Bansheera from 179 years ago!" Abaddon steps back in shock, and says: "But...our glorious quest to revive Queen Metallia. All the energy we collected. All the sacrifices that we've made. All the battles that we've lost. Are you telling me that all of that...was a LIE?!" Nephrite sadly says: "I'm afraid so. Queen Metallia has played this game for the past 10,000 years now. From planet to planet she travels, sucking all the resources of a planet until it is barren and lifeless. In the process, doing this takes up so much energy, she needs to retreat to the safety of her machine, and needs to collect energy from participants she is able to sucker into helping her. No one who has EVER helped her before, has EVER gotten any reward from her!" Queen Beryl angrily says: "Well, we're NOT going to take THAT lying DOWN! If Queen Beryl thinks she can get US, she's WRONG! We are going to FIGHT against her, and take the energy we gathered for HER, and make it our OWN!" Nephrite says: "That's not a smart move! She's collected ALL the other Youma that fell in battle! Even with YOUR combined powers, the three of us are not enough to BEAT her!" Abaddon says: "Not APART from each other; but combined, we just MIGHT stand a chance!" Nephrite asks: "What are you saying?" Abaddon says: "I have worked for and studied the dark arts of the Chaos Gods themselves, lest you FORGET that important fact! And I have studied a technique, that would allow us to combine our powers together into ONE super body! In this body, we would have ENOUGH power to take AWAY all the energy Queen Metallia has gathered so far, power it into ourselves, and escape from the machine! Hopefully, when we escape; we'll do so much damage to the machine; Queen Galaxia and her cohorts will NEVER be able to repair it!" Queen Beryl asks: "Than what are we waiting for?! Let's combine, right away!" Abaddon says: "It's not as easy as it sounds! These are VERY dark arts that I'm talking about! I'm afraid one of us would have to completely give up their OWN life energy, to make the super body for the others to inhabit!" Nephrite sighs, and says: "I'll do it. I'm tired of living in fear, I'm tired of being afraid. I'm sorry I wasn't more use to you two when I had my body. But, I hope that what I will do for you now; will more than make up for it." Queen Beryl says: "Thank you, Nephrite. I always KNEW you were the most LOYAL of my Youma!" And then, they suddenly hear mechanical clanking and roaring in the distance! Abaddon says: "We better hurry! Those sound like the fallen Necron! Queen Metallia must have reprogrammed them to do her bidding!" Nephrite says: "Than let's waste no more time! Just do me a favor and give a good thrashing to Dr. Maniac for me!" Queen Beryl says: "We WILL, Nephrite! We WILL!" Abaddon's body gets enveloped with a black Aura, as he starts speaking in a dark, forbidden tongue that mortals have not heard for millennia! Abaddon says: "K'haakalik mashak bala ta ma phlonok ka muk!" ("By the power entrusted to me by the Chaos Gods, empower us!") And a white aura surrounds Nephrite, and Abaddon's black Aura starts surrounding Queen Beryl. Abaddon continues: "M'shennah im pe weck ga sen la muk gom!" ("What was once three, now make us ONE!") And Nephrite's body turns transparent, and slowly evaporates into nothingness, and Queen Beryl's and Abaddon's bodies slowly find themselves being pulled together and MERGING! Queen Beryl says: "No turning back after this! Abaddon my love, come DIE with ME!!!!" "Back To The 1980's Part IV: Miami Ice!" When the episode starts proper, words flash on the screen, and they say: "Mysterious Void, Unknown Location; January 1, 1980; 1:00 P.M." We see a big, blank, white void. A colorful, rainbow portal opens into the void, and Emperor Catton steps into it. He walks to the center of the void (even though since he's the only thing INSIDE of it, it's hard to tell WHERE the actual center is), and he looks up to the blank sky. Emperor Catton shouts: "Hey, Chaos God Khorne, I'm HOME!!!!" The sky darkens to a sinister black, and a red, visual image opens in the sky, and the image of Khorne, the Chaos God himself, appears in it! Khorne hisses with a sinister growl, and he says: "Don't EVER address me in that manner again! What's your update?!" Emperor Catton says: "Even BETTER than I anticipated! While Lettuce's sense of justice is STILL much higher than I would've liked, having forgotten the way history is SUPPOSED to play out DID work out in our favor!" Khorne says: "Did it, though? You FAILED in your PRIME objective! You SAID you wanted John Lennon KILLED! You ONLY killed Mark David Chapman, Yoko Ono, and Eddy Valiant, Emperor ANTON!!!!" Emperor Catton angrily yells: "DON'T you DARE address ME by my OLD name! Only my own MONSTERS are ALLOWED to call me that! 'Anton' was my old, LAME name! I don't GO by that name anymore ever since Anton Mercer came along, and with the help of Mesogog, made the name his own! Besides, the name 'Anton' reminds me of when I was young and naive! Dr. Maniac took advantage of 'Emperor Anton', he will NOT take advantage of Emperor CATTON!!!!" Than Emperor Catton calms down and regains his composure, and says: "The truth of the matter is, my reason for TARGETING John Lennon in the FIRST place, was just a way to get under Dr. Maniac's skin and ENRAGE him! Now I'm in HIS mind instead of the other way around! Dr. Maniac is a DEADLY genius, but he's PRONE to 2-dimensional thinking! And THAT'S where I want him! While his mind process is STUCK in a 'Ms. Pac-Man' like maze, I'm free to roam in the THIRD dimension, and run CIRCLES around him! Besides, manipulating the Power Rangers to do what I WANT them to do, in order to free me, is my TRUE goal!" Khorne says: "Well, I don't think we'll be able to risk DIRECTLY involving Lettuce in our schemes anymore! Even a BRAINWASHED Ranger, who STILL has a sense of justice; will NOT cooperate in this scheme of ours!" Emperor Catton says: "Agreed! Not to mention, this, 'Captain Retro' BARKING about and seemingly AWARE of our moves! How does HE have access to the Akhasic Records?! It took me many times of trial and error stuck in this time loop to learn how to access those!" Khorne says: "Even I don't know what the full story of Captain Retro is. He doesn't APPEAR on my 3-D representation on my Xanatos Speed Chess Set!" Emperor Catton asks: "How could he NOT appear?! Anyone who is ALIVE, has a soul, has a brain, and has a heart; HAS to APPEAR on your 3-D representation of a Xanatos Speed Chess Set! And we KNOW Captain Retro has ALL of those qualifications! SURE, he's the avatar of the Dog Deity, Clifford, but even THAT shouldn't prevent you from allowing me access into his mind!" Khorne says: "A dog, he may be; but he's an ELTARIAN dog, anthropomorphized with magic. And he's...immune to any brain washing powers. Not to mention, the Magi-Mother's has blessed him with her...magical protection and knowledge." Emperor Catton says: "BAH!!!! Let him run around! There's STILL only ONE of him, and he CAN'T be everywhere at once! Especially not since he has to ensure that neither Dr. Maniac or us try to target Radiguet now! Do you think Captain Retro is AWARE of how Dr. Maniac is USING all of the energy being accumulated in this Time Rift as an attempt to speed up Queen Metallia's resurrection? Or that we plan to REDIRECT that energy into getting myself into the Nazi Realm?" Khorne says: "I have no way of knowing! We can't CONTROL his mind, let alone see into it! Even ONE variable that I can't account for could make everything be ruined!" Emperor Catton chuckles, and he says: "Don't worry your...well, to put it bluntly, UGLY little head! I'll manage Captain Retro MYSELF if I have to! You just make SURE the energy to get myself TO the Nazi Realm, is pointed to the RIGHT place, when the time comes!" Khorne's eyes narrow, and he suspiciously says: "I'll see what I can do!" And Khorne's image disappears, and the blank void turns white again. Emperor Catton sighs, and he says: "I'm beginning to see WHY Radiguet has such a GRUDGE against the Chaos Gods! They are SO...DIFFICULT to have to deal with! I'm LUCKY that in THIS realm, I can CONTROL when they CAN and CAN'T access this realm, let alone hear or see what I'm TALKING about! Well, let's see which Ranger I should target NEXT!" Emperor Catton puts his right arm forward, and he says: "Void of Time, show me Naruto!!!!" And the void opens up, and shows not just one, but MULTIPLE images of Naruto getting beaten up by HOT rock and roll women of the 1980's! Emperor Catton says: "Looks like I HAVE gotten stronger! I used to only be able to see ONE of these images at a time! Let me freeze these images and view their contents more closely!!" Emperor Catton pulls up one image, and he says: "Hmmm, Naruto getting beaten up by Pat Benatar BEFORE she got married to Neil Girardo? Hard Pass! Naruto getting beaten up by Belinda Carlisle, Jane Wieldin, and the other members of the Go-Go's? Fun, but NO! Naruto getting beaten up by Annie Lennox in between marriages? Nothing that I haven't seen before! OOH!!!! I haven't seen THIS one yet! Naruto getting beaten up by Joan Jett of the Blackhearts?! I've GOT to see this one!" And Emperor Catton shouts: "Void of time, show me North Hollywood, California; May 17, 1980, RIGHT now!" And sure enough, a void opens up to show Naruto (in his Blaze the Nine-Tails persona) holed up somewhere IN some sleazy hotel in North Hollywood, California; still dressed up in his tacky 1980's clothes! And Joan Jett is with him! Emperor Catton materializes a large bag of buttered popcorn and a large Diet Pepsi with no ice, and a comfy movie chair, and he sits down and says: "Boy, Naruto are YOU in for a WORLD of HURT!!!!" And the action shifts to within what Emperor Catton is seeing and words flash on the screen which say: "Unlisted Hotel in North Hollywood, California; May 17, 1980; 5:26 P.M." Joan Jett looks around at the rather...drab and QUESTIONABLE quality of the room Naruto has picked, and she sighs and says: "What I don't understand, Blaze, is WHY you chose to DRAG me to some hotel that even a Five and DIME store wouldn't advertise?" Naruto scoffs and says: "Well, DUH!!!! It's all I can afford on the measly budget I get from performing with Miss 'DIVA'. Diana Manchot! She's all busy hanging out with Pop Star PRINCE, and he's made HER the lead singer of some BAND called 'Vanity 6'. She's gonna change her name to Diana M. and record some tunes! And until her first album and singles come out and I collect some royalties, this is what WE have to settle for!" Joan Jett raises one of her eyebrows and says: "What do you mean, 'We'?" Naruto says: "Isn't it obvious? I'm CRAZY mad in LOVE with you! I LOVE the work you did with The Runaways! Totally underutilized in MY honest opinion! But I could tell that YOU were a Star even back than! And when I heard that you just released your first solo album today, I KNEW that I had to date you!" Joan Jett asks: "You ONLY want to date me because I'm an up and coming rock and roll star?!" Naruto says: "Of course not! I want to date you because you're SMOKING HOT!!!! And smart enough to release an album on your OWN independent label!" Joan Jett opens the hotel door to bring a suitcase of her's inside, and she says: "All right, I'll let you have a 'Turn'. But please note in advance; you ASKED for this! So don't come CRYING and RUNNING to me when this is all over! You GOT that?!" Naruto says: "No, sir! I mean, 'Ma'am'! I mean...'Sir...ma'am...'." Joan Jett says: "Just SHUT up and strip onto the bed BEFORE I change my MIND!" Naruto IMMEDIATELY does what he is told, and jumps onto the bed, with Joan's head BLOCKING the viewer's view of what SHE is seeing! Joan asks: "Are ALL men as short as YOU are in real life, or am I just lucky?" Naruto screams: "I'll get an extension once I get RICH, I SWEAR!!!!" Joan Jett says: "Or, I could try some techniques of my OWN! Now please note, when you have consensual sex with Joan Jett, please don't forget the ACCESSORY B.D.S.M. Whip, Music, and other assorted ACCESSORIES!!!!" And while the viewers don't see any of the naughty action, they STILL see Joan Jett inflicting TONS of physical pain onto Naruto as she whips, hits him with spiked gloves, kicks him HARD with 9 inch high heel shoes, and chokes him as HARD as she can without making him pass out, all to the tune of one of Joan Jett's own songs playing on Joan Jett's boom-box! Joan Jett sings: "I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation! You're living in the past, it's a new generation! A girl can do what she wants to do and that's what I'm gonna do! And I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation! Oh no, no, no not me, me, me, me, me, not me, me, me, me, me, me, me. And I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation! Never said I wanted to improve my station! And I'm only doin' good when I'm havin' fun, And I don't have to please no one! And I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation! Oh no, no, no not me, me, me, me, me, oh no, not me, me, me, me, me. I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation! I've never been afraid of any deviation! And I don't really care if you think I'm strange! I ain't ever gonna change! And I'm never gonna care 'bout my bad reputation! Oh no, no, no, not me, me, me, me, me, oh no, not me, me, me, me, Pedal, boys! (Instrumental Break) And I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation! The world's in trouble, there's no communication! And everyone can say what they wanna to say, it never gets better, anyway! So why should I care about a bad reputation anyway? Oh no, no, no, not me, me, me, me, me, oh no, not me, me, me, me, me, me, me. I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation! You're living in the past, it's a new generation! And I only feel good when I got no pain, And that's how I'm gonna stay! And I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation! Oh no, no, no, not me, me, me, me, me, me, me, oh no, not me, me, me, me, me. Not me, me, me, me, not me; NOT ME!!!!" And the song ends as Joan Jett finishes redressing herself, and she turns to Naruto, and she says: "Well, Blaze; I can safely say that I've spent WORSE evenings than the one I've had today. I've spent a lot better, but I GUESS you got the job done as a 6/10. Try calling again in a few years if you ever get MORE famous, and I'm not ALREADY married!" She leaves the hotel room, and the camera pans over to Naruto, and there's practically not a SINGLE space on his entire body (except for his naughty bits covered by a blanket) which isn't covered in cat scratches or blood, and in a daze, Naruto raises up both his arms and says: "Totally WORTH IT!!!!" / The action shifts back to the Blank Void, as Emperor Catton pauses the action, and Emperor Catton says: "UGH!!!! Naruto is so UTTERLY stupid no matter WHICH woman he tries to date! He doesn't even GET that he LITERALLY just asked Joan Jett to TOTALLY sexually assault him! He's more of a danger to HIMSELF than he is to MY plans! I'm not even going to BOTHER reading HIS mind...if he even HAS one! Waste of precious time and magic, I'd say!" Than a red alarm light fills the air, and Emperor Catton says: "WHAT?! That's NOT Khorne!" Words flash within the void, and a computerized female voice says: "WARNING! UNAVOIDABLE moment in time!" Emperor Catton says: "WHAT?! Are we at THAT point in history already?! This is where Dr. Maniac tries to make his move on Diane Martin! I don't WANT to watch it, but I suppose I've GOT to! Of course, since Captain Retro IS currently there, than Dr. Maniac might get more trouble than he bargained for!" The void opens up a portal, and the red alarm light turns off. The action shifts to what is being viewed within the portal, and words flash on the screen, which says: "Diane Martin's Penthouse Apartment, New York City, New York; May 17, 1980, 8:41 P.M." Inside Diane Martin's Penthouse Apartment, Diane is all dressed up in a pink dress, looking almost exactly like Marilyn Monroe did in "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend". Captain Retro (still in his human disguise) is sitting on one of her VERY comfortable couches, and he asks: "What I DON'T understand is just WHY I can't know who it IS you invited to this late dinner you're having tonight?" Diane says: "First off, you are a guest. And while I understand you have some importance of being here, the fact that you still haven't divulged any more information to me; gives me reason to think that you're HIDING something from me!" Captain Retro, almost exasperated at this point, says: "I've told you 41 times already! This marks the 42nd! I can't TELL you about what the deal IS with me because it could jeopardize YOURS, MINE, and everyone ELSE'S future many YEARS from now! Think of it like the U.S. Government keeping secrets for SECURITY reasons!" Diane says: "Well, I can't! I've LIVED through Watergate, so I THINK you can cut me some SLACK as to why I'm not so EAGER on trusting the U.S. Government!" Captain Retro asks: "Did you ever even CONSIDER that there might be at least TWO WORSE administrations in the future than the one that CAUSED Watergate?!" Diane scoffs, and says: "Let me guess, some VAIN, WHINY, NARCISSISTIC, WOMANIZING, SELF-LOATHING, SELF-IMPORTANT, XENOPHOBIC, BIG NAME, SMALL EGO, White Man whose ONLY reason for living is ROUGHLY proportional to the size of his I.Q.? I'd RATHER be DEAD before THAT ever came to fruition!" Captain Retro groans in frustration, and he says: "Even in the PAST BEFORE I was technically BORN, NOBODY ever listens to me!" Than Diane's bell rings, and she says: "Oh, that would be MY date now; oh, yee of little faith!" Captain Retro looks bewildered, and he says: "Yee?! Haven't heard THAT word get put into rotation for a while!" Diane opens the door, and while she LOOKS at the young 32 year old, brown haired man with loving eyes, Captain Retro's eyes look on in SHOCK, as he IMMEDIATELY recognizes him as a much YOUNGER Dr. Maniac, BEFORE he robot-icized himself! Diane says: "Well, if it isn't Dr. Rick Sanchez. Your reputation for punctuality proceeds you! Welcome to my HUMBLE abode! A modest little place; but when it comes to real estate, you can't beat the location or it's price!" Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "Indeed! Long live deep pockets! It's AMAZING how much happiness money can TRULY buy you, and how much it has brought me! Whoever FIRST sang that 'The best things in life are free', must have had HOLES in their brain!" Captain Retro sternly says: "His NAME was Barrett Strong, and I don't think he ever DREAMED about the amount of money that YOU seem to worship!" Dr. Rick Sanchez briefly twitches, but he composes himself, and he says: "You...didn't say there WOULD be any other guests here!" Diane scoffs, and he says: "Don't MIND him! He is a guest I am keeping here because he has Diplomatic Immunity...or SOMETHING like that. And needs to STAY here until he completes his mission and can go home!" Dr. Rick Sanchez raises an eyebrow, and he says: "Indeed. And is there ANYTHING that YOU know about ME?" Captain Retro, still keeping his volume in check, says: "I know ENOUGH about you and what you're like! Have you even TOLD her about your little SIDE hobbies?!" Dr. Rick Sanchez scoffs, and he says: "So, I LIKE to tinker with CARS in my spare time! What REAL man doesn't?! But MY, we have a BIG dinner ahead of us, so why don't you go to the restroom so you can fit it all in?" Diane says: "Good idea! I'll go 'Powder my nose'." Captain Retro says: "I went 15 minutes ago, I'll pass." Diane says: "Make yourself at home, don't do anything I wouldn't do!" And Diane rushes off to her personal bathroom, and closes the bedroom door behind her! Dr. Rick Sanchez chuckles to himself, and he says: "The moment I've been WAITING for my entire LIFE!!!! Time to become a REAL man the way my FATHER and Professor BIAS never SAID I could BE!!!!" And Dr. Rick Sanchez heads toward Diane's bedroom door, but Captain Retro immediately stands between him and the door, and Captain Retro says: "Didn't you HEAR the NICE lady who invited you into HER house?! Don't DO anything she wouldn't do!" Dr. Rick Sanchez, getting increasingly irate, but still TRYING to keep his temper, says: "In the Soviet Union, they shoot dogs down DEAD when they get old OR disobedient! You want to LIVE a long life? I suggest you MIND your OWN BUSINESS!!!!" Captain Retro says: "Protecting other people from harm IS my business, and if you're as SMART as you SAY you are, you WON'T move another INCH towards the door!" But Dr. Rick Sanchez IMMEDIATELY grabs the door handle, only to find that the door WON'T open! Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "Diane told me she NEVER locks the DOORS in her house!" Captain Retro says: "Did you HONESTLY think I wouldn't take any precautions? If there's one thing I hate WORSE than people who are COMPLETELY intolerant of anyone else who ISN'T like them, it's PEOPLE who are WILLFULLY ignorant and HATEFUL to everyone else! And you treat THOSE statements like it's something to be celebrated, when it's the COMPLETE antithesis OF!" Dr. Rick Sanchez suddenly laughs his signature Dr. Maniac laugh, and he says: "MWA, HA, HA!!!! My ALTERNATE self told me ALL about you, but seeing you in PERSON; you're even SMARTER than I ever could've DREAMED of!" Captain Retro says: "So...you DO know I'm NOT from here?" Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "Not even HERE, you're not even from this PLANET! As a matter of fact, you're not EVEN from this TIME! What gives YOU the right to interfere with MY plans?! And how DARE YOU INTRUDE ON A VERY PRIVATE DINNER?!!!" Captain Retro scoffs in shock, and he says: "Private? PRIVATE?!!! EVERYTHING in a 14 billion light year RADIUS, INCLUDING black holes and the near vacuum of SPACE, COULD hear you!" Dr. Rick Sanchez unleashes his trademark Dr. Maniac scowl, and he says: "Listen, you PATHETIC MUTT!!!! I was DENIED the chance to get the son I WANTED with Diane Martin ONCE, thanks to that LOUSY Dash Drew, and I'm NOT going to be denied again! I have PLANS to unleash the AIDS virus in a year, to wipe out the PATHETIC population of F--!" Captain Retro sternly says: "Keep TALKING like that about Dash Drew and your MOUTH will be MINUS one TONGUE!" Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "That playboy dandy ROBBED me of the life that was RIGHTFULLY mine! So, I'm merely going to return the favor; and rob HIM and everyone else LIKE him of THEIR lives! NOBODY robs the life of a white man who should HAVE EVERYTHING HE WANTS!!!! And NOTHING is going to stop me from GETTING it! Do you want to know WHY?!!! Because unlike everyone ELSE in this PATHETIC universe, I am completely INCAPABLE of making MISTAKES!!!!" Than Captain Retro's eyes suddenly turn COMPLETELY white, and with a seething red AURA forming around him, Captain Retro says: "YOU just made two! You talked about a Power Ranger with the INTENT of using a derogatory term about him, and YOU ACTUALLY managed to make me ANGRY!!!!" Captain Retro screams: "Kaio-Ken X10!!!!" / Back in Emperor Catton's void, Emperor Catton gasps in SHOCK at what his void is registering! Emperor Catton says: "Captain Retro's powers are going UP?! Power level 90,000; 120,000; 180,000; 444,000; 530,000!" And his energy read-out shatters, as if unable to handle anymore! Emperor Catton says: "He BROKE the scale! What kind of mortal HAS such powers, yet doesn't use them whenever he WANTS to?! Even I couldn't have predicted such a dangerous enemy for Dr. Maniac, let alone myself! I sure hope Khorne is RIGHT that he WON'T interfere with MY plans! That dog is worth MORE trouble than I EVER could've bargained for!" / Back in Diane Martin's apartment, the Red Aura COMPLETELY envelops Captain Retro, shedding his human disguise in the process, and Captain Retro begins to mercilessly punch Dr. Rick Sanchez without giving him a chance to even ATTEMPT a punch or a kick! In desperation, Dr. Rick Sanchez pulls out a B.D.S.M. Whip, and attempts to STRIKE Captain Retro with it! At that moment, Diane Martin opens her bedroom door, and sees Dr. Maniac try to STRIKE Captain Retro, but Captain Retro MERELY bats the whip away. And Diane picks up the whip, and reads the writing on it. Diane says: "Property of Dr. Rick Sanchez MANIAC?!!!" Dr. Rick Sanchez manages to break FREE from the punching and he finally yells his trademark Dr. Maniac scream: "NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! This ISN'T WHAT WAS SUPPOSED to happen at ALL!!!! All I HAD to do was to DESTROY every LAST bit of Beatles and John Lennon music in this household, so Diane would be completely weak and helpless while I had my WAY with her!!!!" Diane looks up in shock and she yells: "Have your WAY with me?!!!" Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "It was to be my GLORIOUS DESTINY!!!! All those years of my FATHER saying, 'Oh, Rick, you're MUCH too weak kicking that football. Oh, Rick, you're MUCH too slow running in soccer. Oh, Rick, you hit that baseball like a sissy girl.' Or, 'Rick, why couldn't YOU have been born a red, hot-blooded athlete like I WAS'?!!!! I would've FINALLY proven MY father and Professor Bias wrong! And YOU...!!!! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!!!!" Captain Retro angrily says: "Sorry. But some things are MORE important than Historical Accuracy! And if there's a price that has to be paid, than I'LL pay for it when the time comes! Besides, there was NEVER going to BE a scenario where YOU got your way! You wanna know why?! Because there are SOME questions in this world that don't HAVE a solution to the problem!" Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "LIAR!!!! EVERY problem has a solution! And if I can't FIND one, I'll MAKE one instead! And is THIS what you like?! Is THIS what makes YOU hot?!" Captain Retro angrily says: "WHAT?!!!" And Captain Retro begins to punch Dr. Rick Sanchez some more, until Diane says: "Enough of this! Dr. Rick Sanchez, IF that IS your real name; you are clearly NOT welcome in MY house anymore! If you VALUE what YOU call a life, you'll LEAVE this place and NEVER try to seek me out AGAIN!" Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "FINE!!!! But you're throwing away a MARVELOUS opportunity, the BOTH of you! The humans you swear to protect no matter what? They're all SCUM just like ME, maybe worse! We could've developed a NEW society, FREE from humanity's sins, and there would NEVER be any arguments AGAIN!" Captain Retro says: "Even if your offer WERE sincere, do you REALLY think either of us would accept such an offer?!" Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "Quite frankly, no. You Eltarian dogs are loyal and just to the point of tasting like Diabetes! You know there's now only ONE fate that awaits YOU and Diane eventually; SUDDEN AND INSTANT DEATH!!!!" Diane angrily says: "If you DON'T get out of here RIGHT now, I will kick you in your MANHOOD SO HARD, it will MISSHAPE every OTHER men's manhood, who is LIKE you, in this world, to be shaped just like YOURS!" Dr. Rick Sanchez says: "Like I'm AFRAID of some pathetic SLUT'S--!!!!" But Dr. Rick Sanchez NEVER gets to finish his thought, because Diane kicks him in his pelvic region SO hard, CRIES of men crying out in pain can be heard around the world! / In Emperor Catton's void, Emperor Catton says: "No WONDER Zordon worried about too MUCH Pink Ranger Power! Just look at what Diane just did! Good thing I'm not from THIS world!" / Dr. Rick Sanchez winces in pain and asks: "Are you QUITE happy now?" Captain Retro says: "Like The Byrds once sang, 'I'll Feel a Whole Lot Better When YOU'RE Gone'!" Captain Retro zooms into the kitchen and grabs a bag of ice, and tosses it to Dr. Rick Sanchez! Captain Retro says: "Here, take this little parting gift of ours, and don't go away MAD; just go AWAY!!!!" Dr. Rick Sanchez puts the bag of ice into his pants, and he says: "Very well! I'll BIDE my time!" Dr. Rick Sanchez, with his free right hand, points to Diane, and he says: "And as for YOU, my FINE lady; TRUE, I wasn't able to attend to you NOW as I would've liked! But just TRY to stay out of my way! Just TRY!!!! I'll get you, my pretty! And your mangy dog, TOO!!!!" And Dr. Rick Sanchez leaves, and slams the door in anger! Captain Retro says: "What a TERRIBLE triple-decker, toadstool saurkraut sandwich, with Arsenic Sauce! The NERVE of that man, trying to make other decent men in this world LOOK bad! Power down!" Captain Retro floats down, and Diane asks: "So...is this why...?" Captain Retro turns to Diane and he asks: "NOW do you believe me why I SAID that I had secrets that I was trying to protect?!" Diane says: "To be fair, in MY defense, I've never HAD to deal with deranged, maniacal doctors on a daily basis, or interact with anthropomorphic alien dogs!" Captain Retro says: "Technically speaking, all Earth dogs are just Eltarian dogs that haven't evolved yet. Eltar is a planet that's had a lot more time to evolve than Earth has. And you're right, I wasn't thinking of that. It's...not always easy for me to keep other people's perspectives in mind." Diane asks: "But why did you confront Rick Sanchez? I thought you weren't supposed to." Captain Retro says: "Well, I suppose there's no point in concealing anything from you anymore. From my perspective, this is only a Time Rift. A copy of history. But, as I've already witnessed, a future version of Dr. Maniac, and this other villain named Emperor Catton have already made attacks on established history. And I THINK I know the reason WHY! Diane asks: "But...if this is only a COPY of history...does that mean that I'm not REAL to you? That nothing that we do in this Time Rift matters?" Captain Retro says: "Of COURSE not! You're REAL enough to me, and so is everything else that you do! That's the reason why I protected you! I couldn't BEAR the thought of Dr. Maniac trying to take advantage of you again! I wanted to give you at least ONE timeline where you were spared from his sadistic pain!" Diane says: "You said there might be a price that you have to pay. What price is that?" Captain Retro says: "It relates to the reason WHY Dr. Maniac and Emperor Catton are attacking this Time Rift! Both of them want access to a horrible place called the Nazi Realm, a NASTY dimension that makes what Dr. Maniac wanted to do to you, look like a Saturday in the Park; and I DON'T mean the 'Chicago' song! That's where I come in! While I can't STOP the Nazi Realm from being opened up, I CAN control who gets to go in it!" Diane asks: "How does that help?" Captain Retro says: "Both Dr. Maniac and Emperor Catton ARE bad guys, but in terms of evil, Emperor Catton is FAR tamer than Dr. Maniac is! If Emperor Catton gets into the Nazi Realm, my fellow Power Rangers can follow him and beat him there for good! But if Dr. Maniac, even as he currently is, gets into there; I don't know if the Power Rangers can even win!" Diane says: "So, there WILL be more! I always hoped there would be, but now that I know; I know that I can face anything!" Captain Retro says: "I feel it's only right to warn you, that as of right now; we're in uncharted territory. I now officially HAVE no idea how this version of history is going to play out, thanks to MY interaction! It's...not always an easy line, to try walking on both the side of justice, and historical accuracy. And...as far as the price that I'll have to pay? I'll probably be put out of commission for a while, after I have to direct the energy that will ensure Emperor Catton gets sent to the Nazi Realm. No EASY task, I might add! The Power Rangers will be on their own, fighting against Emperor Catton." Diane says: "Well, there's no point worrying about that for now! You'll just have to deal with it when the time comes." Captain Retro assumes his human disguise again, and he says: "Right! But for now, keep my identity secret to everybody else. I'm not sure if the REST of the world is ready for an anthropomorphic canine just yet." Diane says: "Agreed!" / The action shifts back to Emperor Catton's void, and Emperor Catton says: "What LUCK!!!! Captain Retro is going to put HIMSELF out of commission, just to make sure I get sent to the Nazi Realm! It seems like Captain Retro HATES Dr. Maniac more than he hates ME! Though to be honest, one can hardly BLAME him!" Emperor Catton scans the Void and says: "Hmmm, it seems there are no further issues with which I have to deal with in this year. Perhaps a little Chrono Clock action would...speed things up! Hands of Time, fast-forward to the next interaction that the Power Rangers have with Dr. Maniac!" And Emperor Catton's Chrono Clock powers speed forward to December 31, 1982, at 5:00 P.M., with a void opening up to Miami, Florida! Emperor Catton pulls up the details of the void, and he says: "OOH!!!! Looks like Lettuce and Bonkers, those 'Miami Vice' wanna-bes, are hot on the trail of FireHawk, pretending to be a brainwashed Drug Lord! Was being the unruly Tomboy of the family THAT hard on you, FireHawk? Did your DADDY never love you, and your mother couldn't care LESS?! Showering all their LOVE on polite StarHawk while treating you LIKE you didn't exist? Trying to MAKE something impressive of yourself in order to impress them? I could care LESS about your PATHETIC Freudian excuses, but I think it's time to introduce you to MY army! And UNLESS you want me to divulge your sinister SECRET to Naruto and the other Rangers, I think it's an offer you can't refuse! Time to find out where you've been hiding!" Emperor Catton zooms in on FireHawk's hidden location, to a FAMILIAR restaurant location called "Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria"! Emperor Catton says: "Ooh! CLEVER girl! Hiding in a restaurant filled with faulty animatronics that no one will enter once it's NIGHT?! And Dr. Maniac is the reason for the Animatronics malfunctioning in conjunction with William Afton! You're very cagey Firehawk, I'll give you THAT much! But I believe Lettuce and Bonkers will be on your trail soon enough, once I free ONE of the Animatronics from Dr. Maniac's corrupt influence! Now, which one of them should I pick?" Emperor Catton looks through the selection of the seven Animatronics located in Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, and he says: "Toy Chica, I choose YOU!!!!" The Void opens up with purple energy, and Toy Chica drops INSIDE of the Void! Toy Chica, with a voice VERY similar to both Vipera and Abby Little, says: "Huh? What happened?! One minute, I was seeing these two DERANGED scientists HACKING into my fellow robot's circuits...and than, nothing. And the next thing I know, I'm here! But who ARE you; and how did I get HERE?!" Emperor Catton says: "Don't focus on me! You need to focus on helping your friends! Those two evil scientists are named Dr. Maniac and William Afton! They're planning on using your robot friends to attack innocent children, all as payback for William getting fired AND losing one of his own children!" Toy Chica says: "Oh no! That's terrible!" Emperor Catton says: "Not to worry! Things aren't ENTIRELY hopeless for your friends! The original programming for your friends is still buried within their data-banks, and can be reactivated by someone who is good at solving mysteries!" Toy Chica says: "Well, that settles it! I have to help my friends!" Emperor Catton says: "Uh, yeah; you do. And I can give you a little infusion of MY energy in order to help you fight off against ANYONE who tries to re-program YOU again!" And Emperor Catton waves his hand, and a purple aura surrounds Toy Chica. Emperor Catton says: "So, now; the rest is up to you. I will send you to the police department where the well-known Miami detectives, Lettuce and Bonkers reside. They will help you to free your fellow Animatronics from the evil programming grip of those evil scientists! And just for an added incentive, tell them that you know where the Drug Lord FireHawk is! I have a feeling that they are WANTING to catch her!" Toy Chica says: "Will do!" And Emperor Catton warps her out of the Void! Emperor Catton says: "Dr. Maniac, you will soon find that there is NO plot you can come up with, that I can't use and turn into something that benefits only me! FireHawk may want to gain your trust to steal YOUR technology, but I'll see to it that she NEVER gets that far! Mwa, ha, ha, ha, ha!" / The action shifts again, and words flash on the screen, and they say "Miami, Florida; Police Department - ICE Unit; Where We Put ALL Criminals on ICE! December 31, 1982; 5:00 P.M." In the police station unit, Lettuce and Bonkers are currently residing in there. Due to it being New Year's Eve, they are also the only police officers on duty! Bonkers says: "Man! I hate being stuck here on New Year's Eve! Of course, I'd probably hate being stuck here on any OTHER holiday! Why did YOU agree for us to stay here, while such fellow officers like Lucky Piquel and Miranda Wright get to live it up tonight for a New Year's Eve celebration?!" Lettuce, now sporting an iconic 1980's blazer outfit, shades, and INEXPLICABLY a brown mustache, turns around, and says: "I TOLD you, Bonkers; Lucky Piquel's cases have been VERY hard on him during the time that he's known you. And Miranda is still...well; inexperienced for lack of a better word. Besides, not only are we getting paid time AND a half; statistically speaking, we're the best CHOICE for an emergency in case something turns up!" And just at that moment, Toy Chica bursts in! Toy Chica asks: "Are you the well-known police detectives Lettuce and Bonkers? You two have to help me!" Bonkers sighs, and he says: "Why can't ANYONE ever come in asking to just help them get a CAT down from a tree anymore, or something like that?" Lettuce says: "Oh, don't pretend you don't like getting into antics like THIS on a weekly basis? Besides, I make it a policy to NEVER turn down a request from a lady, even if it IS a robot!" Bonkers says: "Well, nice to know that Chivalry ISN'T dead! But I bet she can't pass the Turing Test!" Toy Chica says: "Okay, maybe it IS just my programming saying that I need somebody else's help! But SOMEBODY had to WRITE it, first!" Lettuce says: "OOH, she's got you THERE; Bonkers! Anyways, how can we help?" Toy Chica says: "My fellow Animatronics have been corrupted by two evil scientists! Dr. Maniac and William Afton! If we don't free them from their corrupted programming, they'll unintentionally HARM innocent children when they least suspect it!" Bonkers says: "That's just TERRIBLE! But...how do WE know your programming hasn't been corrupted either, and you're just trying to lure us into a trap?" Toy Chica says: "Use your head! If I was GOING to lead you into a trap, do you think I would have WARNED you about my fellow Animatronics' programs being corrupted BEFOREHAND?! Besides, the notorious drug lord FireHawk is hiding there!" Lettuce says: "Ooh! She's got you two for two, Bonkers! Usually, I have to pay EXTRA for that! Of course, we'd be GLAD to help! Just tell us where to take you!" Bonkers says: "Well, DUH!!!! The Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria right here in town! It's the only place she LOGICALLY could've come from!" Lettuce says: "Bonkers, NEVER automatically assume anything! Even with Animatronics! I certainly try not to! Besides, I heard that some up and coming musician named Blaze the Ninetales is going to be the opening act for the Freddy Fazbear band tonight! We're not going to miss a chance to see a COOL musical act like THAT!" Toy Chica says: "Than let's waste no more time!" And all three of them rush outside, to get into their VERY cool police car! Bonkers says: "I just LOVE being a police detective! Punch it, Lettuce!" And Lettuce turns the ignition, starts the car, and turns on a ROCKING George Thorogood and Destroyers song (that from their perspective, is only three months old and still brand new), "Bad To The Bone!" George Thorogood sings: "On the day I was born, the nurses all gathered 'round. And they gazed in wide wonder, at the joy they had found. The head nurse spoke up, said 'Leave this one alone.' She could tell right away, that I was bad to the bone. Bad to the bone! Bad to the bone! B-B-B-B-Bad. B-B-B-B-Bad. B-B-B-B-Bad. Bad to the bone! I broke a thousand hearts, before I met you. I'll break a thousand more, baby; before I am through. I wanna be yours, pretty baby. Yours and yours alone. I'm here to tell ya, honey; that I'm bad to the bone! Bad to the bone! B-B-B-B-Bad. B-B-B-B-Bad. B-B-B-B-Bad. Bad to the bone! (Instrumental Break) I make a rich woman beg, I'll make a good woman steal. I'll make an old woman blush, and make a young girl squeal! I wanna be yours pretty baby, yours and yours alone. I'm here to tell ya, honey; that I'm bad to the bone! B-B-B-B-Bad. B-B-B-B-Bad. B-B-B-B-Bad. Bad to the bone! (Instrumental Break) And when I walk the streets, Kings and Queens step aside! Every woman I meet, they all stay satisfied! I wanna tell ya, pretty baby; well, ya see I make my own. I'm here to tell ya, honey; that I'm bad to the bone! Bad to the bone! B-B-B-B-Bad. B-B-B-Bad. B-B-B-Bad. Bad to the bone!" (Instrumental Solo to the end of the song). Approaching the top of a freeway off-ramp, Toy Chica says: "My Restaurant is at the bottom of this off-ramp! Use the breaks and slow down!" Lettuce puts his foot down on the break, only to find that it's NOT responding to him! Lettuce says: "Uh-oh! The break is shot! It must have broken after all the times we used the break to make a COOL entrance! We HAVE no breaks!!!!" And they zoom INTO the air, screaming: "AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Until suddenly, just a few moments from hitting the ground, the car suddenly SPUTTERS and comes to a complete stop IN mid-air! Bonkers says: "Sorry, folks! We ran out of gas!!!!" Toy Chica says: "Uh, that's NOT how your police car works!" And in a "Puff of Logic," the car than drops the remaining few feet and hits the ground! Bonkers sarcastically says: "Nice going, BABE!" Toy Chica says: "BABE?! Did he just call me, 'BABE'?!" Lettuce says: "I don't know! I kind of blanked out while we were flying through the air!" The three of them get out of the mostly intact police car in front of the restaurant, only to find Naruto as Blaze, Diane Martin, and Captain Retro still in his human guise! Captain Retro says: "Well, it's about time you got here, Lettuce!" Lettuce says: "I recognize that voice! You're the one who told me of my name!" Toy Chica says: "Wait! You MEAN you didn't even know of your name?! How did HE know?!" Captain Retro says: "Well, first off; let me introduce myself! I'm Captain Retro, this is Diane Martin! We just moved here from New York City!" Diane says: "I couldn't TAKE the traffic anymore! And the cold winters! Here, it's sunny skies and easy tans as FAR as the eye can see!" Bonkers says: "Except in the HURRICANE season; in which case, WATCH out!" Naruto says: "Isn't ANYONE excited to see ME?!" Toy Chica asks: "And YOU are?" Naruto sputters, and he says: "Why, I'm BLAZE the Nine-Tales! I'm the guy who made out with Joan Jett of the BlackHearts and LIVED! I'm the guy who does ALL the work playing guitar on Vanity 6's singles and albums! I'm GOING to become a member of heavy metal band Motley Crue SOMEDAY!" Captain Retro says: "Well, EVEN if you do; you'll STILL never eclipse anything that The Beatles have done, are doing, or WILL do! You didn't RELEASE the multi-platinum "Somewhere In England" featuring ALL of The Beatles writing and singing lead on at least one song on the album! I just LOVE hearing John Lennon's duet with Stevie Wonder on 'Ebony And Ivory'." Naruto asks: "Why would I WANT to be LIKE The Beatles?! I want to be my OWN thing! Why I want to know is, why is this restaurant CLOSED?! I'm supposed to be PERFORMING here tonight! I want to get my OWN label recognition and some SERIOUS gigs!" Toy Chica says: "There are MORE important things in the world than YOU having a gig! You could HELP me rescue my fellow Animatronics!" Naruto sputters, and asks: "How hard could THAT be?! Just stand aside; and I'll show you brute force isn't the answer to EVERYTHING!!!!" Over the communicators, Queen Hedrian asks: "Uh, is he going to be okay?" Omnus says: "Nope! Safe to say, he WON'T be!" Emperor Catton suddenly appears on the scene, and he says: "I'm NOT all powerful, you know! Naruto's COMPLETE and UTTER Ignorance, Stupidity, Stubbornness, and inability to listen to ANYONE smarter than he is, which is pretty much everybody; is one factor in history that even I'M unable to change, EVEN if I wanted to!" A blue void in time opens up; BlackHawk, StarHawk, and Usagi step out of it, and BlackHawk says: "FINALLY!!!! Someone says SOMETHING about Naruto that I ACTUALLY agree with!" Naruto says: "First of all, the name is BLAZE! And you'll be sorry for doubting me!" Diane opens up her STILL damaged Pink Limo, pulls out a BUNCH of popcorn and diet drinks for everyone else who can drink, and Captain Retro says: "TOLD you we would see a show!" Diane asks: "Aren't WE going to help him?!" StarHawk says: "It's better if Naruto tries it first! If we help him NOW, than he'll NEVER learn anything valuable from this experience!" Naruto BRACES himself as if he's going to BREAK through the glass sliding doors of the restaurant, but than they INEXPLICABLY open by themselves, and the restaurant lights come on, causing Naruto to COMICALLY fall onto the floor! Naruto says: "COME ON!!!! Why DIDN'T it open for ME before?!" An animatronic, white fox head winds in, and with an AMBIGUOUS gender voice, making it HARD to tell whether it's a male or a female, says: "Because we don't like YOUR kind, and don't like people who THINK they are BETTER than us Animatronics!" Naruto says: "Come on! There's no NEED to act like that! You know, a SMILE would suit that PRETTY face of yours, better!" But the white fox head just stares at Naruto blankly, and Naruto, talking louder, says: "I SAID, 'A smile--'!" But Naruto NEVER gets to finish his thought as the White Fox head BITES his left hand, causing Naruto to leap back in pain! Naruto cries: "YOW!!!! 'SHE' bit me without saying a word! Even Joan Jett had better manners!" The White fox Head says: "First of all, I, Mangle, am ABOVE such petty classifications such as 'Male' and 'Female'! I prefer to call MYSELF a 'Yes'! Secondly, when CREEPY, SLIMY, Narcissistic CREEPS like YOU talk to ME like that, my defenses act up; so BACK off!" Naruto asks: "NARCISSISTIC?!!!" Emperor Catton rears back in laughter, and he says: "Wah, ha, ha, ha! What a way for Mangle to turn the tables! What CRYPTIC creatures Robots are!" Over the communicators, Alpha 8 asks: "CRYPTIC?! Is THAT what they're calling it, now?" A familiar female voice says: "Stop all that RACKET!!!! Who DARES to open this restaurant when I specifically wanted IT--?!" And FireHawk, dressed in GAUDY (even by 1980's standards) attire, steps into the light, and sees Naruto, and she asks: "YOU?!" Captain Retro says: "If I didn't KNOW any better, I think YOU recognized that guy!" FireHawk says: "Why wouldn't I recognize the GUY who played guitar on that one Vanity 6 song? How did it go? Oh, yeah! 'Making love until the dawn, making love to cherry bomb! Erotic city, come alive'!" Naruto says: "That's ME, all right! SEE?! I KNEW somebody would RECOGNIZE me!" Captain Retro says: "Statistically speaking, I suppose SOMEBODY has to!" Usagi says: "UGH!!!! I can't BELIEVE Dr. Maniac's brainwashing made Naruto THIS dumb!" Captain Retro says: "Oh, no. He's ALWAYS been THIS stupid! You just didn't notice because you were younger and your mind was more easily entertained by his CHEAP antics of 'Tomfoolery' and 'Buffoonery', not necessarily in that order!" Toy Chica says: "Come on, Mangle! Let us THROUGH! I've got to help free my fellow Animatronics!" A familiar voice comes from SPRINGTRAP, and William Afton's voice (which sounds a LOT like Alice Cooper's) says: "Can't let my FOX, do that!" Bonkers says: "No WONDER Lucky and Miranda could NEVER find you! You were hiding WITHIN Springtrap! I'll give him credit, that's some SERIOUS dedication!" Captain Retro says: "The voice of Alice Cooper in THIS timeline?! Actually, I can TOTALLY see it!" Springtrap says: "FireHawk and Dr. Maniac are in the middle of making a deal! FireHawk gives Dr. Maniac all the drugs HE wants to perfect his robot mind controlling powers, and Dr. Maniac gives FireHawk all the Miami ICE that she wants! And by 'Ice', I mean 'Diamonds'! She plans on going back to her home-world to become the SUCCESSFUL sibling she has always WANTED to be!" StarHawk says: "What?! You mean she's NOT brainwashed?!" Captain Retro says: "Naruto; you know, somehow, 'I told you so'...JUST doesn't quite say it." FireHawk says: "Go ahead, JUDGE me! Like you judge EVERYBODY else! You have no idea what it was LIKE for me! Having practically the SAME face as my SISTER does, yet being treated like I didn't even exist! I literally DIED once, and even THAN, my parents BARELY sent my sister a 'Sorry For Your Loss' card! That's when I KNEW that the only way I was EVER going to get THEIR attention, was by making SO much money, they couldn't POSSIBLY ignore me!" BlackHawk says: "As your brother-in-law, I feel it only RIGHT to tell you; that you can't TRUST making a deal with Dr. Maniac! He's going to utterly betray YOU and THINK nothing of it!" FireHawk scoffs, and says: "Well, DUH!!!! Do you think I would ever give him something ACTUALLY useful?! I gave him LOADS of expired prescription drugs, which should wear off right about--." And suddenly Mangle starts to short-circuit, and collapses to the ground. Mangle moans, and says: "It...wasn't meant to last. It wasn't meant to last!" Lettuce says: "Uh...I'm confused. Is FireHawk on the level, or NOT?" Springtrap says: "I don't CARE! Either way, I'll take care of you MYSELF!!!!" Toy Chica says: "STOP!!!!" And right as Snaptrap tries to SAVAGELY bite Lettuce's head off, Toy Chica's Cupcake gets LODGED in Snaptrap's mouth! Electricity short-circuits from the cupcake, and a bolt HITS Lettuce, while another bolt DISLODGES FireHawk's power morphers, and they FLY into Bonker's arms, and ACTIVATE! / Bonkers says: "Power of Earth! Air!" / And Bonkers morphs into a MALE version of the black Ranger, but now the outfit also has SHINY Orange highlights on it, as if to mark Bonkers being the black Ranger! FireHawk says: "CURSE the Morpher's Memory! Lousy Eltarian technology! As soon as it finds a suitable user, it gives them everything they need to KNOW about becoming a Ranger!" Captain Retro says: "I don't care WHAT your reasons for dealing with Dr. Maniac are! WRONG, is WRONG! And you are SO wrong for the Ranger Powers now! Even EBONY would be a better fit for the Black Ranger, now!" BlackHawk asks: "Who is THAT?!" StarHawk says: "Nobody important, BlackHawk!" Lettuce says: "Hey, guys! I remember EVERYTHING!!!! That bolt brought back my memory! I...can't believe I got brainwashed by Dr. Maniac! And where's Pinkie?!" Diane says: "I think you've got BIGGER problems to worry about!" And sure enough, Toy Freddy, Toy Bonnie, Marionette, and Balloon Boy come out of their hiding places and join Springtrap! Snaptrap says: "Just as a little precaution, I installed my OWN backup system to supplant Dr. Maniac's, in case HIS got ruined!" FireHawk says: "You can't be SERIOUS!!!! You can't hurt innocent kids! Do I STILL get my diamonds?" Springtrap says: "NO!!!! Fool that Dr. Maniac was to trust YOU; but a bigger fool YOU were to not TRUST anyone BESIDES yourself, ESPECIALLY your sister and her FRIENDS, IF you ever THOUGHT of them as FRIENDS!" FireHawk angrily says: "But Dr. Maniac PROMISED me a cut of ALL of his profits! He PROMISED me a freaking PERCENTAGE!!!!" Springtrap raises his robotic arm, stops FireHawk from punching him, and lifts her up like a rag doll! Springtrap says: "Next time, get it in WRITING!!!! Nothing PERSONAL!!!!" And Springtrap THROWS FireHawk out of the front window, and right into Emperor Catton's arms! Emperor Catton says: "I KNEW you would come to me!" Captain Retro says: "Emperor Catton, if you value your NINE lives; put FireHawk down! She is OURS to deal with!" Emperor Catton says: "Come on, why do you hate me? We BOTH want the same thing! We want FireHawk to taste the sweet, SWEET taste of justice!" Captain Retro says: "I don't BUY that for a NANO-Second! And DON'T assume I hate you, just because you're an alien cat! And don't hate ME just because I'm an alien dog!" Emperor Catton says: "You're all about justice, right? Very well, I'll PAY for FireHawk's sins on my OWN accord! Go ahead, take away one of MY nine lives!" But before Captain Retro can even answer, Lettuce says: "Gladly! It's MORPHING Time!" / StarHawk says: “Power of Mercury! Water!!!!” / Lettuce says: “Power of Jupiter! Lightning!!!!” / Usagi says: “Cosmorpher! Sailor Moon! White Ranger Power!!!!” / BlackHawk says: “Power of the Sun! Gold!!!!” / Bonkers jumps in, to join them, and he says: "Look at us! Now we're BOTH Rangers!" Lettuce grabs his hammer and he says: "I KNOW! It's AWESOME!!!! And to Paraphrase a Beatles song; 'Bang, bang; Lettuce's Silver Hammer falls down on your head! Bang, bang, Lettuce's Silver Hammer will make sure you are DEAD'!" And Lettuce swings the hammer with all of his might, but to his SURPRISE, Emperor Catton's head SQUISHES with a cartoon sound effect, and than bounces back as if NOTHING happened! Emperor Catton says: "I'm impressed. You actually MANAGED to take away just ONE of my Nine lives!" Usagi asks: "You mean...we got to KILL you EIGHT more TIMES?!" Emperor Catton says: "And THAT was your ONLY free hit! I think I'm done with YOU guys, here! Do whatever you WANT with this restaurant, but FireHawk is coming with me!" Captain Retro says: "No, wait!!!!" But Emperor Catton and FireHawk disappear into a blank void without a trace! BlackHawk says: "Oh, no! He's GONE again! Somebody's got to put a TRACKING device on that...cat thing!" Marionette suddenly reaches to grab the Morphed Rangers, and he says: "Did Springtrap say you could LEAVE?! We haven't even BEGUN to have a fight, yet!!!!" And Marionette YANKS the other Rangers BACK into the restaurant, and throws up a FORCE Field around it so that Captain Retro CAN'T get in! Captain Retro says: "UGH!!!! I've been cut OFF!!!!" Diane asks: "But you have a Force Field of your OWN! Can't you just throw it up to enter that restaurant regardless?" Captain Retro says: "I would, but it looks like Dr. Maniac has already thought of that. That Force Field is designed to operate at the EXACT opposite frequency as mine! I can't get through no matter how much I want to!" Diane asks: "But what about the other Rangers?" Captain Retro says: "Don't worry about them, they'll be all right! They've gotten out of tighter spots than this! You brought the music I asked you to bring?" Diane pulls out a cassette of Alice Cooper's "Welcome To My Nightmare", and puts it into a boom-box, and she says: "Well, I always do! But, why?" Naruto says: "And what good will THAT do?!" Captain Retro says: "You'll see! Because my music inspires the Rangers to save the day! And they'll be able to help Toy Chica save the other Animatronics!" Captain Retro pushes the play button, and the action shifts to inside the restaurant. / Toy Chica asks Lettuce and Bonkers: "Are you STILL going to be able to help me?" Lettuce says: "We'll still be able to free the Animatronics, but under the circumstances; I'm afraid there's only one way we can free them!" Usagi asks: "You mean...?" Lettuce says: "That's right! We'll have to BEAT the evil programming out of them! It's the only way!" Springtrap says: "Like you could EVER beat the evil programming of MY Animatronics!" Toy Chica says: "WE are not YOUR Animatronics! Like we'd EVER willingly follow the commands of a CREEP like you! And I have these friends I can rely on! Don't MESS with them! Springtrap; welcome to YOUR nightmare!!!!" And sure enough, Alice Cooper's OWN voice fills the room, as dark moody music fills the air, as Bonkers fights Balloon Boy, Lettuce fights Marionette, Usagi fights Toy Bonnie, StarHawk fights Toy Freddie, and BlackHawk fights Springtrap! Alice Cooper sings: "Welcome to my nightmare, I think you're gonna like it. I think you're gonna feel you belong. A nocturnal vacation, unnecessary sedation. You want to feel at home 'cause you belong. Welcome to my nightmare, whoa-whoa-oh! Welcome to my breakdown, I hope I didn't scare you! That's just the way we are when we come down! We sweat and laugh and scream here, 'cause life is just a dream here! You know inside you feel right at home here! Welcome to my breakdown, whoa-whoa-oh! You're welcome to my nightmare, yeah-yeah-ah! (Musical break, during which the Animatronics get beaten down one by one, until only Springtrap is left!) Welcome to my nightmare! I think you're gonna like it! I think you're gonna feel you belong! We sweat and laugh and scream here, 'cause life is just a dream here! You know inside you feel right at home here! Welcome to my nightmare, ooh-ooh-ooh!" And the Rangers all simultaneously point their weapons at Springtrap, and to his horror, William Afton finds that he can't ESCAPE from Springtrap, as the mechanism has locked him in TIGHT! Springtrap can only sing: "Welcome to my breakdown!" (BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) / And the song ends as Springtrap/William Afton is completely destroyed, and the other Animatronics whir back to life! Toy Freddie (sounding a LOT like Fred Schneider) says: "On behalf of the other Animatronics here, I want to thank you for saving us. I shudder to think what WOULD'VE happened if we had HURT anybody!" Bonkers says: "No, problem! But you know, I thought YOU would sound more like Freddie Mercury!" Toy Bonnie (who sounds a lot like Bonnie Tyler) says: "You're thinking of REGULAR Freddy! He's currently on loan at our Sister Location!" Balloon Boy (who sounds a lot like Weird Al Yankovic) says: "At least NOW I can get back to my job of handing out balloons to everybody! WHEE!!!!" StarHawk asks: "What about Marionette and Mangle? They look too badly beaten up to use anymore." Toy Chica says: "We can combine their remaining working parts, and turn him into Toy Foxy! I'm sure the fans won't mind!" Lettuce says: "Oh, my! In all our excitement, we almost forgot about New Year's Eve! What time is it now?!" Toy Freddie says: "It's just about midnight!" And sure enough, the TV turns on, and Captain Retro, Naruto and Diane rush in, to see the Times Square Ball dropping down! The Morphed Rangers take off their helmets, and Everyone says: "Ten! Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, ONE!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!" Toy Bonnie says: "Welcome to 1983! I have a GOOD feeling about this year!" Captain Retro says: "Well, with William Afton out of the picture; I have a feeling that ANYTHING is possible!" BlackHawk looks through the restaurant, and says: "Well, if Dr. Maniac WAS here; he's long gone. No trace of him LEFT here!" Usagi says: "He must have bolted it as soon as he discovered FireHawk deceived him!" Captain Retro says: "He's not the ONLY one FireHawk deceived!" And he looks to Naruto, who looks all depressed! Naruto says: "That woman...I don't know why; but I feel like...I knew her. I LOVED her! I thought she loved ME! So, why would she BETRAY me?!" StarHawk says: "Even I don't know the answer to that one! I...know my parents didn't always treat my sister like they should; but FireHawk has NEVER been so aggressively...aggressive as she was today." Lettuce says: "Well, WE will just have to ask FireHawk about THAT once we get to her, won't we?!" Bonkers asks: "Did you say, 'WE'?! As in, 'All of us'?!" Captain Retro says: "Of course! Not just ANYONE can be a Ranger! A morpher chooses its user based on how good, heroic, selfless, and compassionate they are! That morpher chose YOU, once FireHawk was no longer worthy of wielding its power! And Bonkers? I think you're the right toon to be the NEW Black Ranger!" Toy Chica says: "And I want to personally thank you for helping me! I never would've been able to free the other Animatronics without your help!" Diane Martin says: "Well, that's what Rangers do; pretty routine." Naruto says: "Ummm, I'm STILL going to get paid for ACTUALLY showing up; right?!" Balloon Boy says: "UGH; FINE!!!!" And he hands Naruto a $20 bill, and Naruto sarcastically says: "Cool. An Andrew Jackson! I can TOTALLY retire! No WONDER The Beatles never take private gigs!" And Naruto gets in his car and leaves! BlackHawk asks: "Shouldn't have someone told HIM about being a Ranger?" Captain Retro says: "The Akhasic Records says that the time is not right for him, or Pinkie Pie." Lettuce says: "So, Pinkie Pie is around here somewhere?" StarHawk says: "Well, she IS; but, you're NOT going to like what she is doing." Lettuce asks: "Why? What HAS she been doing?!" Usagi says: "Well...she's been making out with Prince...and NOW; Michael Jackson!" Lettuce says: "Well...I was brainwashed! She's got to be, to! She'd NEVER make out with men who WEREN'T her husband if she WASN'T brainwashed!" Toy Freddie says: "I hope you're right, pal!" And just right than, the time void opens up. Captain Retro says: "Well, Lettuce. Looks like YOU'LL find out for yourself, soon enough! I wish I could go with you guys, but I've STILL got to take the long crawl! And don't worry about the Miami Police Department, I've already explained everything to Lucky and Miranda in a way they can understand. They can handle everything else from here!" Bonkers says: "Thank you! And don't worry, I will make you PROUD of me, as a Power Ranger!" And the other Rangers enter into the Time Void! Diane says: "Your friends certainly go a LONG way, and a long time, to ensure that evil is brought to justice!" Captain Retro says: "I'm just glad they have a new ally they can rely on! One thing's for certain though, their mission is not over yet. They STILL have to confront FireHawk! I just hope Naruto will be ready for THAT...when the time comes!" To Be Continued...

If anybody is confused as to why Squidward has his clarinet in THIS episode, it's because THIS episode was SUPPOSED to come out BEFORE "Mandatory Music". I can't BELIEVE the people in charge of programming didn't notice that! Anyways, it might have taken 12 seasons LONGER than it should have, but at long last; Bikini Bottom FINALLY celebrates Arbor Day! In order to prevent the holiday from being an underwhelming one (since Sandy has the only REAL tree in Bikini Bottom), Sandy uses her technological know-how, to create a brand new breed of tree, that can SURVIVE, completely immersed in sea water! In fact, the only requirement Sandy gives the citizens who decide to take a tree, is that they should TALK to the trees! Mrs. Puff not only does THAT, but she takes HER tree for a ride, and tells HER tree something about a "Shell City Job". (I wonder if that's related to WHY she had to MOVE to Bikini Bottom in order to start a NEW Boating School with her CURRENT name?) Squidward plays his clarinet (and even a TREE doesn't like it); Mr. Krabs just makes HIS tree be the new "Complaint Department" so that he doesn't have to deal with the constant complaints of customers; Spongebob at least TRIES to do right by his tree by reading a bedtime story to it; while Patrick winds up being the ONLY one who can keep HIS tree at peace, by just watching television with it, and being oblivious to the tree's insults to him! One by one, the trees begin talking BACK (which Sandy chalks up to making the trees TO salty), and begin turning against their owners! In order to STOP the chaos from escalating any further, Sandy decides to host an Arbor Day Log-a-palooza, where if you're a TREE, you get in for FREE! And the tree that volunteers to be the FIRST for Sandy's make-over, is Patrick's tree! Even though Patrick's tree gets turned into a CHAIR, the tree winds up HAPPIER as a chair, than it was as a tree! So all the trees allow themselves to be turned into pieces of furniture, and the furniture (while still sentient), seem to be a lot more amicable to the citizens of Bikini Bottom as furniture, than they were as chairs...well; MOST of them anyways! I'd give this episode a 9 out of 10. Enough said, true believers!

It never ceases to amaze me how schizophrenic the writers seem to be, when it comes to how they treat Squidward. In far too many instances, they seem to like to make his life miserable for no good reason. And there seem to be far TOO few instances where they at least JUSTIFY the way he is treated, and at least let him work TOWARDS getting a happy ending! Thankfully, this is one of the latter instances. While Squidward's clarinet playing has ALWAYS been terrible, this episode seems to take it up to ELEVEN; as not only does NOBODY like it, even the BUILDINGS themselves fall over to the awful sound! In fact, it gets SO bad, LITERAL Music Police (wonder why it took them 13 seasons to finally make an appearance), appear to confiscate Squidward's clarinet, and force him to go to music school! Already bad enough for Squidward to have to go through that, but just to rub salt in the wound; Spongebob winds up there to! (I'm AMAZED the writers got away with Squidward saying: "Kill me now"). As it turns out, Squidward can't play the harmonica, the pan pipes, the kazoo, OR even play a broom; while Spongebob is able to play his own nose like a flute EFFORTLESSLY, and even inspires the other students to play great! Unable and/or unwilling to ask for any help, Squidward ANGRILY removes the cork from his clarinet, and plays it SO badly, he LITERALLY summons a music tornado! To prevent Squidward from doing any more damage, the Music Police summon a computer robot called Maestro (wonder if he's related to Karen somehow), and they use it to bring Squidward down, and SHOVE his clarinet down a shredder to prevent him from ever playing it again! Thankfully, unlike other episodes, it doesn't end there, as not only does Spongebob actually TRY to console Squidward; Squidward inevitably FINDS something he actually CAN play very well, he can ALSO play his own nose like a clarinet or a flute, even if carrying an umbrella to avoid the ink stains might be necessary! Although, it remains to be seen whether this actually becomes a MOMENT that is considered canon, or whether it will be discarded and treated like nothing. I'd give this episode a 9.9 out of 10, except for the fact that the end of the episode was shown cutting OFF Squidward's nose (breaking the fourth wall), which lowered the episode score to a 9.5 out of 10. Enough said, true believers!

"Hot Crossed Nuts" is now called "The New Treat In Town!"

It seems that Mrs. Puff now has a phobia of police sirens (although given the amount of times she's gone to jail ALREADY, one can hardly blame her). Seems like a pretty interesting episode concept so far; we'll find out for sure soon enough.

Right now, my current Netflix project is watching the two seasons of the criminally underrated cartoon show, "Cupcake And Dino", a show that's WAY funnier and SHOULD'VE been a Cartoon Network series OVER "Teen Titans Go!" (Waits for the inevitable ton of HATE comments that will follow after this statement).

For the first time in a LONG time, the Smashing Pumpkins "Tonight, Tonight".

By this point, it seems like Kaz is just going through the motions when it comes to writing episodes, without any real concern as to whether something is funny or not. What Kaz (and other writers who have wrote cringe-worthy episodes) fail to get, is that Spongebob hanging out with Squidward, is ONLY funny and interesting when there's a real REASON for Spongebob to do so! Any other attempt at making a Spongebob and Squidward episode be any good is just going to end in disaster! Now, was Squidward LITERALLY erasing all of Spongebob's memories of Squidward out of Spongebob's Scrapbook and Spongebob's mind evil? Yes, it was. Did it warrant Squidward having to RE-CREATE a bunch of Spongebob's old memories in an attempt to get Spongebob to remember the combination to the Krabby Patty Secret Formula Safe (which Mr. Krabs REALLY should've ran PAST Squidward first)? Arguably not. While it WAS a good idea (in theory) to recreate scenes from "Bubbles; Dying For Pie;" and "The Camping Trip" in high definition animation, it just serves as a more PAINFUL reminder that "Spongebob Squarepants" is SUPPOSED to be capable of so much more! And the biggest kicker of the episode? Spongebob REMEMBERING that the 'Friendiversary' didn't happen YESTERDAY, it was SUPPOSED to happen TODAY, or TOMORROW! I'd give the episode a 4 out of 10 at BEST! Enough said, true believers!

Slapstick comedy, is without a doubt; one of the oldest forms of visual comedy to be successful. After all, what requires Slapstick Comedy to be successful, is merely setting up an ordinary task, and having someone clumsy and/or inept to mess it up somehow. Sir Urchin's job is to provide the setup, and for Snail Fail to provide the slapstick. However, during one of their regularly live episode airings, Snail Fail finally has ENOUGH of acting like a dolt, and breaks into a serious Shakespeare monologue. He wants to be treated like a SERIOUS Thespian who's known for MORE than just cheap laughs at someone else's expense! Snail Fail LITERALLY walks offstage, bringing their show within a show to an abrupt halt! Not wanting the successful relationship to be over, Spongebob and Patrick decide to split up in order to find the duo! Patrick LITERALLY lucks out by finding Sir Urchin driving a taxi as his replacement job; but Sir Urchin wants to find somebody to be his NEW Snail Fail! So, Patrick agrees to take a shot at it; while Spongebob tracks Snail Fail down to his fancy home. When Snail Fail states that he wants a chance to act seriously on the stage, Spongebob decides to take him to Shady Shoals Retirement Home, since the audience THERE would be old enough to appreciate such fine theater! Unfortunately, the Senior Citizens ONLY want Snail Fail to do his usual slapstick, while Patrick doesn't quite understand the fine art of timing and punchlines when it comes to slapstick! Thankfully, at the same time, both Snail Fail and Sir Urchin find out that there is a Talent Show tonight in Bikini Bottom! NEVER thought we'd get to see the Didgeridoo Player from Season 2 or the Alligators from "Swamp Buddies" again! When Snail Fail and Sir Urchin find out that the other is there, they immediately come to blows; refusing to follow the other! However, their mayhem takes them right ONTO the stage, where the audience starts loudly cheering for them: and they realize that having an audience cheer for them, is what they wanted all along. Thankfully, Sir Urchin decides to compromise with Snail Fail, by allowing him more chances to break up into serious monologues, BEFORE shifting into more silly slapstick! I'd give this episode a 9.5 out of 10. Enough said, true believers!