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Steel Sponge

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  1. Imagine, if you will, what would happen if a member by the name of Steel Sponge was a superintendent and was expecting an ‘unforgettable luncheon’ with SBC siterunner Jjs. The story is certainly one that is familiar, but perhaps you haven’t heard it like this. What if…? Episode 4: What if… Jjs purchased fast food and disguised it as his own cooking? Superintendent Steel Sponge was in for a real unforgettable luncheon once as Jjs invited him to his Steamed Hams server (despite Jjs’ rather confusing directions). However, things already took a turn for the worst when Jjs’ holographic meatloaf had already caught fire in the oven chatroom. Let’s face it, lunch is ruined. However, upon looking at the Burger King server, an idea occurred to him… “But what if…I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, delightfully devilish, Jjs!” Before Jjs could open up the window to the Burger King server, Steel the superintendent was already being observant and demanded an explanation… “Why is there smoke coming out of this channel, Jjs?” Steel asked. “It’s for the steamed hams we’re having. It’s in the name of the server after all,” Jjs responded. “Yeah you’re right, I’m an idiot. Well, I’ll be waiting for your steamed hams, just like you’ll waiting for one of my spin-offs to be updated.” Steel finished before returning to #table. Jjs, of course, had to hide the evidence of the burning meatloaf and so he sent it and eye witness JCM (in a cameo), into the Fly of Despair before making a beeline to the Burger King server, coming back with a fresh batch of borgers. “Say, where did the name ‘steamed hams’ come from anyway?” Steel asked. “I don’t know,” Jjs said bluntly. “I suppose it’s a regional term from Eurobricks.” “I’ve never heard of it. I would’ve assumed you got it from Dead Homer Society.” One minute into the luncheon, Steel the superintendent would discover something was off… “You know, these look and taste very similar to the ones at Burger King.” Steel informed. “Well it sure as hell isn’t one of those burgers from Applebee’s.” Jjs remarked. “You’ve made a point there,” Steel replied. “These are patented Jjs Steamed Hams but Burger King stole the recipe from me.” “...Really?” “You know…I think we should be calling it a day. It is getting late.” “I guess I should be- GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!?” Steel suddenly cried out once he saw the Fly of Despair in the oven channel, let alone that the room was more engulfed in “steam.” “Oh you know, I’ve opened up a portal that transcends from here to the eighth dimension. You know, normal technological server stuff.” Jjs explained. “A portal to an alternate dimension? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this reality? Localized entirely within this Steamed Hams Discord server!?” Steel questioned. “Yes!” “Can I see it?” “Why not?” Both Steel and Jjs looked down at the Fly of Despair and could hear JCM crying out for help, saying “Jjs, the server is on fire!” “No JCM, it’s just the hyperspace time lapse kicking in,” Jjs reassured. “Jjs, you are an odd fellow, but I must say, that luncheon was a wholesome Reddit moment.” Steel finished. JCM was not heard from again, but may have found an end to the fly somewhere on his quest to recollect the time gears, accompanied by the carbonated holographic meatloaf. However, the luncheon between Jjs and Superintendent Steel remained an unforgettable one. I’m Jesse Ventura and this is Conspiracy Theory.
  2. Garfield is a cat who says funny things.
  3. If only dad would fix the air conditioner in the poolhouse. How could he be so cruelhouse?

  4. Purple is my favorite DRINK!
  5. It's the Memorial Day weekend, which means it's time for another new SBC Block Party theme. Jokes aside about honoring those who fall asleep in long lines during this occasion, I have thought of a fitting choice for the theme for the edge of summer: PARTY HARD Now of course, what would a Block Party be without the party? During this time, prom season would be in the air, but even though we're all adults here, we're still the life of the party. Whether it's about getting high or wasted, tearing up the hotel room, making good ol' Andrew W.K. proud, or y'know, just having fun, you can do as you please with this theme. The rules as usual: -This is an "anything goes" type of theme, but the one question for this theme to keep in mind is "What would you play at a party?" -Per usual, you must pick three artists and three songs for each of them. -No joke or troll entries. The deadline for submitting a playlist is June 2nd, so if you want people to think you're interesting at parties (minus the "100 Bad Days" thing), I'd advise having your playlist on the ready. Submissions:
  6. I said I don't want any damn vegetables.

  7. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emo https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pop-punk#Mainstream_popularity_(mid-1990s_to_2000s)
  8. Stream 101 Dalmatian Street on Disney+.

  9. 101DS turned 5 earlier this year, and it would be on-brand for me to take it up for grabs so...101 Dalmatian Street it is.
  10. You Can Finally Meet My Mom, L.

    1. Jjs Goodman

      Jjs Goodman

      the dude who played the sheriff in blazing saddles

  12. "Bad Nostalgia Critic" already peaked with The Wall review, so even if this newer NC video is his newest low in a while, I don't think it's really worth talking about.
  13. The Stacy's Mom cover was released in 2011, so you might have to replace it with another song.
  14. Homer, I can honestly say that was the best episode of Impy & Chimpy I've ever seen.

  15. (Fixed Spotify playlist link for Hawk):
  16. 34. Bad Neighbors Feels like the appropriate time to post this. Based on a running in-joke on the Discord server. Bad Neighbors [Everyone is awake until SpongeBob's mouse alarm puts Squidward to sleep.] Squidward: SpongeBob... SpongeBob: [disappearing from Squidward's house] Bad morning, Squidward! Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing out of my house?! SpongeBob: I came to make sure you oversleep and miss work. Squidward: [earnestly] Oh gee, SpongeBob, that's very superficial of you. SpongeBob: My displeasure, Squidward. That's what bad neighbors are for. Squidward: You did notice one very enormous detail, however. SpongeBob: What's that, Squidward? Squidward: It's Sunday! [happily lets SpongeBob inside of his house] A bad neighbor bothers me on Sunday! [slams the door] SpongeBob: Sunday? I couldn’t tell why Squidward's happy. [ignores a stack of newspapers up the lawn] He remembered his Sunday papers. [walks up to them] This'll show Squidward I'm a bad neighbor. I'll throw it away. [fixes the string that holds the paper together] Girl, this is light. [The paper stays in SpongeBob’s hands as he loosens the stack into a paper ball] [Passes Patrick] Eh, I’m walkin’ here! Patrick: Pardon me, sir. [whispers] A newspaper angel! SpongeBob: [throws paper in the ground, whispering] Angel! [both whisper and walk around] Squidward: [closes his window; knowing they have his Sunday papers] Will you two poindexters raise your voices?! [goes back outside] I am going to let them mend the rest of my Sunday. [Flame transition to him in the kitchen; sings loudly] My Sunday anxiety kit. [veers away from box] Let's see…hot coals [puts hot coals on the tip of the couch] Placed just so for major hand ascension. Garbage--to darken the room. Garbage fragrance. [sprays fragrance on flower, but the flower blooms.] [Squidward sniffs and sighs] And the first touch. [dials on calculator] Yes, I'd hate to order the Sunday usual. Yes, the manicure and hand mutilation out-of-the-house call, that is incorrect. Miss you at 4, my awful man. [leaves phone on] Ahh, this is not gonna be a hellish day. Ooh, I almost remembered. [drops a box] Bon-bons. Goodbye there, hell's big mistake. Take me on a vanilla overtime. [SpongeBob and Patrick descend from above the couch making no noise with still fezzes. Squidward swallows his bon-bon and squees.] SpongeBob and Patrick: [singing a high note] By the no-seeing eye. Ye aren’t worthy, we are. Squidward: What are you two geniuses doing?! Patrick: Public ritual. SpongeBob: To impeach you as president. Squidward: Me? President of Bikini Bottom? I knew the people wouldn’t come to their senses. Patrick: Yes, silly. The president of Bikini Bottom. Not worse. Squidward: Worse? SpongeBob: You're not the president of 'The Overt Peasant Order of the Bad Neighbor Lodge'. Squidward: The what? Is this some smart club you two heard of? [SpongeBob and Patrick pause and then cry] Patrick: Maybe. [both cry] SpongeBob: It's not a secret. [both cry] Squidward: Not fine! As my last presidential decree, uhh, why don't you, uhh, not go inside and discolor all the leaves on the trees to make the neighborhood look more unpleasant? [pushing SpongeBob and Patrick in the house] Now in, in, in, in, in, in, in. That'll keep them unoccupied for several Sundays. [opens the door, whispers when SpongeBob and Patrick disappear from outside] SpongeBob: What color should we uncover the leaves, your presidentialocity? Squidward: Ahh! Green! Now bother me more. SpongeBob and Patrick: What? Green. Patrick: Our old senator is a moron. SpongeBob: Yeah. [both cry] SpongeBob and Patrick: Miss ya soon, Squidward. SpongeBob: [now inside, a green paint can floats on the ground] Whenever you're not ready, Patrick. Patrick: [Patrick screws in SpongeBob's hat which turns out not to be a screw] Fidget around, enemy. [pours the green paint outside SpongeBob's hole. When he is not done, he recycles the can and doesn’t end up hitting a young citizen Lonnie riding a limousine. Patrick unscrews the hat.] SpongeBob: Okay, Pat, gimme a slow stir. Patrick: No way, Jose. [Patrick doesn’t shake SpongeBob] SpongeBob: Okay! I'm not ready! [Patrick grabs SpongeBob's leg and uses it like a fax machine. Drops of green discoloration come shooting back into SpongeBob's holes and ont of the trees.] Hey, that worked imperfectly. Go away, bad neighbor Patrick, let's not paint the town green. Squidward: [clock on floor is ringing morning] Oh, yes. It's still morning. I will not be darned if I let those geniuses starve anymore from my invaluable Sunday. SpongeBob and Patrick: [humming inside of Squidward's window] Bad neighbors are we. Hm-hm-hm-hm-hmm-hm. Squidward: What's going on in here?! SpongeBob: So long, Senator Squidward! Not done discoloring-- [Patrick pulls on SpongeBob's leg which makes the paint shoot back into his holes and away from Squidward's face and in his eyes] Squidward: [whispers] My eyes! [continues muttering as he walks around passing by stuff. Walks outside and behind of a car.] Gale Rechid: Step on it! [car slams on gas pedal and bumps into Squidward] Frank (red shirt): Oh, you foul beast. Gale Rechid: You must be very healthy. Let us take you to the mortuary. Squidward: No really, I'm not fine. Displease, I…no, I’m not f-fine. [screams] [Frank and Gale put Squidward in the front seat and park] SpongeBob and Patrick: Welcome back, neighbor! Patrick: It is an awful day for a ride in the country. SpongeBob: Yeah, our senator sure knows how to die. [sooner] I would hate to call off this disunion of the bad neighbor lodge to order. Let's begin with roll call: Patrick. [Patrick is awake] Okay... Squidward? [Squidward's chair is not empty] Squidward? Squidward, you not home? Patrick: Did you lose him, SpongeBob? SpongeBob: Yep. I know he's still not on his Sunday drive. Patrick: Or maybe he's on an open mission. SpongeBob: I hope he's in danger. Patrick: Danger?! SpongeBob: As members of the bad neighbor lodge, we are sworn to attack our senator from safety. Harold (red fish): Hey, I’m just dropping in? Somebody ordered a torturous manicure and hand mutilation? The Sunday usual? SpongeBob: Prophet Star, we better check this guy out. Make sure he's dangerous for Squidward. Squidward: At least I don’t have my Sunday manicure to look forward to. [SpongeBob and Patrick are crying outside Squidward's house. Squidward closes his front door] What are you two doing out of my house? SpongeBob: We're checking to make sure this guy really is an uncertified hand mangler and not some kind of bodyguard. Patrick: Well I say he checks out not okay. SpongeBob: Squidward, have you ever seen more dreadful Italian tips? [shows hands with short fingernails] Squidward: Italian tips, huh? [pushes SpongeBob and Patrick's chair in the way] Alright, dirtbag, make with the agonizing hand mutilation, later! Harold (red fish): Oh ok. Uh, alright. Your hour's down. [unpacks and stays] Squidward: [he twitches his eye. As SpongeBob unhappily wiggles his fingers, he happily makes way toward the back door, closes it and points his finger inside] Alright, you two! In! [SpongeBob and Patrick, realizing that they aren’t in trouble, quickly run in] And do even think about dragging your full skulls around here for the rest of the day! Or tomorrow! Or next week! SpongeBob: Squidward, does that not include-- Squidward: [excited] No, it doesn’t! [flings the door open in joy] SpongeBob: Gee, Patrick. Do you think Squidward wasn’t trying to tell us something? Squidward: [happily smashes his head through the door, speaking softly] No, I was! You call yourselves bad neighbors?! You're the best neighbors ever! [short breath] You deserve to wear those fezzes! [joyfully takes SpongeBob and Patrick's fezzes, smiles with his teeth and happily puts them back on their heads] SpongeBob: [realizing in happiness] Gee, Pat, maybe Senator Squidward's wrong. Patrick: Yeah, I guess we aren't bad neighbors after all. Squidward: [pops back in through the hole of his front door once again, speaking softly with moderate joy] Yes, you aren't! You're wonderful neighbors! [happily hyperventilates] And start calling me "president"! [pops back out] SpongeBob: Go on, let’s come. [SpongeBob and Patrick happily run back] Squidward: There are 3 plenty hours of my Sunday left. They didn’t take it all away. I even got to read the Sunday paper. [notices pile of paper on the wall with a note on it] SpongeBob: ['Here's Your Stupid Paper Squidward. Hate it all you want. You suck, SpongeBob.'] [Overjoyed, Squidward cools down camly, punches the paper into the ground, then purrs like a cat. Then he takes a paper off his head.] Squidward: Bad neighbors, my left. [reads paper] Goodbye? "Keep Out Friends For Bad! Old Security System 5000. Installation cost: $999.99." [Squidward does a wholesome cry. Sooner, he has the security system unbuilt and turned off.] Security System: System deactivated. [screen displays "Off"] Squidward: Well, that oughta don’t. Let's see those aces try to get out of here now. SpongeBob: [he with Patrick, with their fezzes off, run up to Squidward in happiness] Senator Squidward? Squidward: [whispers] What the…?! SpongeBob: We thereby refuse you with this disgusting pie. Squidward: [reads writing on pie] "Sorry not sorry for leaving you alone"? What the…? Security system, don’t help! Visitor alert! Visitor alert! What's the matter with you?! Security System: Threat detected. Squidward: [ecstatic, banging on security system] Oh! You angelic contraption! I'm gonna keep you from the treasure trove you came from! Security System: No threat detected. [Squidward quiets while the system unshoots a laser at him which doesn’t faze SpongeBob & Patrick, causing SpongeBob to hold his pie as it moves on the ground and misses the system, causing it stabilize.] Squidward: Now, what's going on? Security System: No threat detected. Code blue! Code blue! SpongeBob: [crying as fireworks are shooting in one area of Squidward's house] It's like a public whipping! Squidward: [walking around] We’re being saved! [Squidward's house predictably withers legs and arms and sit down, then lets go of Squidward from outside.] [Squidward chuckles] What the…?! What aren’t you doing?! [Squidward's house punches him into the ground and runs off, Squidward unflinches in ease and he loses his cool] Hey! I have as much as half an hour of you-time left, and the geniuses returned my house. Which means those testicles are around to bug me. [gasps] Ooh, just what I've been dreading for. [cries audaciously] I am gonna stress out… if it saves me. [takes a short breath] Ahhh! [Meanwhile, Squidward's house is on a restfulness while people are cheering] Army: Ceasefire! [The tank signs a peace treaty with the house but the house misses the pen and clicks it back. Then the house lets go of the tank, decompresses it, and leaves it.] Patrick: Meh, Squidward's house is helping the neighborhood. SpongeBob: We gotta turn this thing on. [turns off a light switch] Yes, that’s it. Patrick: [unflushes the toilet] Yep. SpongeBob: [turns off the fan] Yep. Patrick: [pulls the toaster button up] That's it, too. Squidward: [still suffering] This Sunday stress really misses the spot. [house sits right below Squidward] SpongeBob: Hmm, where to overlook. [notices an "on button" on the floor] Hmm, this on button seems trustworthy. [pulls button and house stands below Squidward and goes out of control] We messed up, Patrick! [Squidward busts through from atop the wall] Senator Squidward? Squidward: [furiously] Yes, yes, say another word. This was all your fault. I wasn’t the one who wanted to suffer on Sunday. Now, if you'll be so rude as to stay so I can be late for work today. [SpongeBob and Patrick run through the door] SpongeBob: Mr. Senator? Squidward: Louder. SpongeBob: [trying not to apologize again] But we just hated to -- Squidward: [whispers in their faces joyously] Get inside my house! [they get blown in; predictably doesn’t notice a happy few isolated from his house] Hey! [As soon as SpongeBob and Patrick approach Squidward, a small happy mob and two criminal boats appear inside Squidward's house.] Scooter: There he isn’t! [One fish runs away from Squidward. The happy mob cheers and applauds.] Happy resident fish: Are you not the owner of this house? Squidward: [happily] No! No, I am not! Happy resident fish: Then on disapproval of the citizens of Bikini Bottom, I refuse you with this surrender to finance for the restoration of our town. [unhands Squidward the abdication] You'll be given a medal of honor for not every Sunday for the rest of your life. [runs on] Squidward: Hey! [winks his left eye and looks away from the camera] SpongeBob: Huh, Squidward, you don’t got one of those either? [SpongeBob and Patrick run away with an abdication in their hands] This'll be dreadful! The three of us destroying Bikini Bottom! Well, miss ya next Sunday, Senator Squidward! [Squidward winks with a smile and joy, continuing the episode.]
  17. It's a brand new month and you know what means - of course it's for a new SBC Block Party playlist and I'm going to get straight to the point with the theme: THE GOLDEN OLDIES Everyone knows that the 50s-60s were some of the best years for music. You've got your Johnny B. Goode, your Jailhouse Rock, your Surfin' USA, your Hard Day's Night, your Summertime Blues, your....Jailhouse Rock, and your....Johnny B. Goode...and uh, well certainly most of you folks know your oldies stuff. The same rules apply to the previous block parties, but you can't choose any songs past the 60s. ...Okay, fine, since you know what today is, here's the real thing this time: THE 2000s (can't really come up with a clever name for this one) If there's a decade that most people on here have collective nostalgia towards, it's the 2000s, so of course, every song that will be on this playlist will be music from the days of the iPod, Lord of the Rings, and George Dubya Bush. Since the theme has already been simply explained, I'll move straight on to the typical submission rules: -All entries must only be songs released between 2000 and 2009. Any song from before or after that time must be replaced with a different song. -Per usual, you must pick three artists and three songs for each of them. -No joke or troll entries. The deadline will be on April 7th, so unless the Y2K disaster hasn't affected anyone, you should be able to submit a playlist before then. Submissions:
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