President Squidward

Okay, Barney, um, before I chase you around in some comedic routine, I-I just wanna ask you to do one thing. Look at yourself. Just really…look at yourself. I mean, my God, Barney. My God. You’re a pathetic wreck. I mean…that stage alone. How much did that cost you? Hundred…maybe…thousands of dollars? And…you keep doing this every week! Week after week, you blow your money away when you could be spending time with your family! This is why you’re defaulting on your mortgage, Barn. This is why Betty has to strip. Here, there’s, uh…$20. That’s…that’s good for a couple boxes. Go, go to the store. Get a few. Enjoy yourself. You have a problem, Barn. You have a real serious problem, and it needs to be addressed. I mean, seriously, Barn, what is it about my cereal that sets it apart from other cereals?