Old Man Jenkins

April 22nd officially marked 10 years since the first episode of Community Deathmatch dropped. So just like I did with the SpongeBrawl 10th anniversary, I did my damnedest trying to update the very first Deathmatch for modern SBC audiences on WWE 2K22! I was originally gonna have it just be a Last Man Standing (keeping opponents down for a 10 count is the closest thing to simulating death in this game), but the match I ended up getting out of it was boring and ended on a very anticlimactic note. So I just ran it through a trio of way better Extreme Rules matches, with the winner to be decided by a “Best 2 Out of 3 Deaths” stipulation (just imagine the referee’s 3 count as being the loser’s final three gasps for air). Unfortunately, there will be none of that vintage Jjs & OMJ commentary accompanying it. My setup is just my PS5 at the moment and that’s it. Apologies to anyone who might’ve been looking forward to the chances of that happening. I honestly wouldn’t blame you if you just left now lol. Without any further ado, LET’S GET IT ON! (An Updated Tale of the Tape) Wumbo Join Date: January 23, 2010 Group: Lavender Others: Retired Employees Active Posts: 18,439 Profile Views: 281,623 Member Title: FOLKS Age: 27 Birthday: June 19, 1995 Gender: Male Interests: steppin on the beach Location: That’s not a state! It’s a Canadian Province! Favorite Episode: Dying for Pie Favorite Character: Puff Mama Tvguy Join Date: November 1, 2009 Group: Retired Employees Others: None Active Posts: 12,838 Profile Views: 154,012 Member Title: None Age: Unknown Birthday: January 1 Gender: Male Interests: None Location: Unknown Favorite Episode: None Favorite Character: None and hell, here’s the last man standing match that I thought was bad as a bonus And I think that’s a wrap on this celebration of Deathmatch’s first ever episode! But not necessarily the end of this thread quite yet. I think, with the help of WWE 2K22, I have one more NEW piece of Deathmatch content left in me. But that’s for another day, not too far away. I hope y’all found some enjoyment in this even though it’s not quite the complete “remaster” I would’ve liked for it to be. You know, I said before that I’m not proud of everything I did when making this lit, and I still feel that way, but it was still pretty a big ass part of my “history” here on SBC and I’d be remiss if I didn’t give it the same executive treatment that I gave Skodwarde for his anniversary. Send it off on a better note than I did the first time. I hope you’ll join me soon for what will more than likely be my final farewell to Community Deathmatch!

I thought it was a perfectly good match until the finish. I like Roman’s work as champ as much as the next guy, but it really should’ve been Cody’s moment. If/when Cody finally get his moment in the sun, it’ll have already lost a lot of its oomph and impact for me since everything was so perfectly built up to go down in that moment AT Mania, when the most eyes are on WWE’s product (especially this year’s with the big sale going down simultaneously). To have it be anywhere else and any other time feels very secondary. I’m the sure the eventual win will get Cody where he needs to be, but they should’ve struck while the iron was white fucking hot. WWE sorely needs someone else on Roman’s level or beyond that, especially with Roman gradually inching more and more into the twilight of his in-ring career it seems. And I’m sure a happy Night 2 ending would’ve negated a lot of the negativity that went down the night after on the Raw After Mania. But maybe they do have a big plan for the long game in place and hopefully it’ll shut my ass up. I can understand where some people come from saying Cody should face more adversity before winning the big one, “hard times” and all that. We’ll just see how it plays out.

Nah, this is a New Japan show. Sanada finally beat his rival Kazuchika Okada to win their world heavyweight title.

HE FINALLY FUCKING DID IT! Well earned, Sanada, well earned.

“20 Minutes”, it’s a movie based on the 2018 false missile alert. A what-if scenario local indie flick in which the events played out as if the alert was legit and we actually did get hit. Let’s just say if Hawai’i had its own version of The Room, this may very well be it. “The Super Mario Bros Movie”,

Here’s my Mania 39 predictions. Probably won’t be able to watch either night live since I’m attending a convention all weekend, but it looks to be a couple of fun shows. Night 1 John Cena defeats Austin Theory to win the Us Title, come on John bring that title with you while promoting Fast X. Seth “Fuck” Rollins defeats Logan Paul, Logan’s good, real good, but Seth’s the best. Trish Stratus, Lita and Becky Lynch defeats Damage CTRL to hopefully put Bayley and buddies out to pasture because their group has done nothing for me at all and it sucks that that’s the case. Alpha Academy wins the Men’s Showcase Tag Team Fatal Four Way, this could really be Gable’s time to shine. Rhea Ripley defeats Charlotte to win Smackdown Women’s Title, Rhea’s earned it after the year she’s had and being very instrumental to getting Judgement Day to where they’re at now post-Edge. She’s definitely shown more character growth over the year than what they’re trying to portray with Charlotte’s recent return. KOmania and WrestleZaynia defeats The Usos to win the Smackdown Tag Titles, because why the FUCK not Dominik Guerrero defeats Rey Mysterio, Rey will end up doing more for Dom in that ring than he ever, EEEEEEEVEEEERRRR, did as a dad. Night 2 Cody Rhodes defeats Roman Reigns to win both belts, it’s not like Roman has to go out to promote a movie like Cena does. Sheamus defeats Gunther and Drew to win the IC Title, as good as it would be seeing Gunther break Honky’s record, Sheamus deserves his Grand Slam with extra ham and a side of carrot cake more. The Demon defeats Edge inside Hell in a Cell, the Demon shtick is old hat for me at this point, I just wanna see Finn enjoy the spoils of helping to get Judgement Day to work without Edge as leader. Ronda Rousey and Shayna Baszler win the Women’s Showcase Tag Team Four Way, sure why not give it to the only legit tag team in this match. Asuka defeats Bianca Belair to win the Raw Women’s Title, Bianca’s had a good run, time to finally reward Asuka for being one of the MVPs during the pandemic era. Omos emphatically defeats Brock Lesnar in dominant fashion, like go full Khali and have him pin Brock with just the one foot on his chest. I wanna watch the whole world burn and see all the wrestling YouTubers lose their collective shit. Oh, and Lashley for the Andre, I guess. With how the whole Bray/Howdy thing’s been going, this is probably the best case scenario for him. yikes, judging from that Night 2 and post-Mania Raw, looks like Vincent Price McMahon has reached his endgame. Looks like it’s back to the dump for WWE TV.

Watching the Cadbury Bunny commercial

Resident Evil 4 Remake

Gonna take some time here to update some things, clean up my plate a bit, paint a clearer picture for what’s to come throughout the rest of the year. - SpongeBrawl Leveled Up is my top priority at the moment. I’m really hoping to get that out sometime within the next month or two (but April is ultimately the goal). To hammer out some of the details a bit, it’s gonna be a recreation of the very first SpongeBrawl episode I wrote back in 2013, simulated entirely in WWE 2K22. Since it’s gonna be simulated, I won’t have any power over the match outcomes. Whichever computer player comes out on top is the winner, so the results may not be entirely the same as it was 10 years ago (or through some insane coincidence, it could all come out exactly like it did a decade ago). On top of the matches that were originally featured on the 2013 premiere, there will also be a bonus Royal Rumble match that will feature every character in the episode (and a few surprises) competing for the coveted title of SpongeBrawl Champion. Because you can’t have a wrasslin’ show without a good ol’ fashioned battle royal. Plus it’d be a nice homage to the the thing that inspired me to go through with this idea in the first place, The Jerma Rumble series by Jerma985. I intend for this to be a one and done thing, I don’t currently plan on continuing it from there, but if there’s an audience or demand for more once the anniversary’s all said and done, it’s possible that SpongeBrawl in this current form could become a recurring special event heading into the future. Otherwise, I’m perfectly fine with this show being one of my last love letters to wrestling on here. - Key words: “ONE OF”. I may as well just announce it right here, right now, that Community Deathmatch will also be getting the WWE 2K treatment in celebration of its own 10th anniversary! Tbh, I was really on the fence about doing anything for its anniversary at first. Ever since I posted the finale back in 2020, I’ve been trying to distance myself from it because there’s quite a lot of things about it that I’ve come to be not so proud of. For a variety of different reasons. I’ve strongly considered deleting the whole thing entirely at different points these last few years. But I figured that would be too drastic. So hopefully in doing this, I can give the ol’ Deathmatch Arena a more lighter send-off by remaking what could be considered Deathmatch’s brightest spot. This anniversary project will see the first ever Deathmatch between tvguy and Wumbo be put through the WWE 2K machine. The fighters will be the same, but the results could very well differ. This will more than likely be a summer drop. - MegaloMania 1 will be seen to its conclusion! I promised those final two episodes months ago and I apologize for the wait. I hit a major wall over which route to go with the ending, but I think I have a plan in place now. Expect them to finally go up soon. As for any news regarding a possible MegaloMania 2, it’s not looking likely. - I was planning to riff The Secret Box in the Die-In as a way to celebrate its 10th anniversary (this year is just the year of the 10’s for me, mang) coming up at the end of the year, but idk. Ever since these bracket code things [color=green][b]bold[/b][/color] stopped working, I kinda don’t know how to add color to the riffs on my current set up lol. We’ll just wait and see. - Fumhouse will more than likely be on ice until the Halloween season. Feral Phobia had one final installment left, but I don’t think I’m gonna be moving forward with the Squidward Torture Porn idea, so posting it would be redundant at this point. Best to just throw Feral Phobia in the locker. It was fun to write while it lasted. I also think it’s safe to put Boating School Badass in the locker as well. Its shtick got old for me. And so that it doesn’t take up anymore space in the main spin-off section, I’m lockering up Wumpa Defender until further notice. - I think it’s time I recognize that I’m firmly in the twilight of at least my writing time on here, if it’s not obvious enough from my many off periods these last couple years. I’m gonna have to make however much I have left count. Probably something more akin to Skodwarde. Recapture some of that god power magic. Might be some time before that spin-off actually happens, but I have an idea in mind. - To wrap this update up, here’s a few sneak peeks at some of the character work that’s been done for SpongeBrawl Leveled Up

Sorry the late ass reply! I thought it was overall a great follow up to the previous one, stepping up in the brutality and character development (especially the character development, really made me care more when bad things start happening to the characters). One drawback would probably be the killer motivations. It turned out pretty basic and “been there, done that” when I felt there was lots of potential to take it a couple steps higher and add some more layers to it. And I felt the body count could’ve used a bit more meat, especially when they’re trying to put over this Ghostface as the most brutal one yet. last watched Shazam: Fury of the Gods and John Wick Chapter 4. Fury of the Gods wasn’t as good as Shazam 1, but it’s still one of the better ones the DCEU has churned out. I can say I liked it more than Quantumania, which I thought was painfully mediocre. John Wick 4 was just…breathtaking.

I noticed this month already marks a whopping 10 years since my first foray into the wacky world of writing wrasslin’, my first show being SpongeBrawl Championship Wrestling. Of course, it wouldn’t be long until the promotion shuttered its doors, but its foundation did give way for Community Deathmatch to be born not long after! And we all know how that went. Almost a year later and completely riding off the high of Community Deathmatch, I rebooted and reorganized SpongeBrawl into two separate brands under a single umbrella; the spin-off oriented Nautical World of Wrestling promotion, which would go on to have a much healthier run of just over one year. And SBC Wrestling, its literature equivalent that was geared towards (and starring) the SBC membership of the time, which lasted only a little over four months. I was snorting line after line like Tony Khan before TK was a person that I even knew existed. But long story short, three wrestling based shows became too much for this old man to handle so I eventually re-consolidated all my time and effort into Deathmatch once again. And again, we all know how that turned out. So with ten years already in the rear view and in the eternal spirit of Arcade Anarchy II, I have decided to commemorate the original spin-off that set me on my path by hopefully at least somewhat remastering it within the realm of the video game sphere! That’s right, I went and bought a digital copy of WWE 2K22 when it was recently on sale, and I will be LEVELING UP the first ever episode of SpongeBrawl Championship Wrestling for modern SBC audiences in conjunction with “Shazam: Fury of the Gods”, out now exclusively in movie theaters! So yeah, I’m new to these new fangled Double Double E games and their modern creation machines. There’s some characters, pretty much the main cast, that have already been made in-game by other people. I’ve tried out some of ‘em, though I’m leaning towards making them on my own to have a more authentic experience. You know, just make things harder and more time consuming for me lol. I wanna run the episode through the Universe Mode and simulate it entirely, but I never did play a Universe Mode once in my life so that should be fun. There’s no timetable set so just expect it to drop randomly as soon as I finish. Depending on how the creation process goes with the characters, arena, universe mode etc. it might take a bit. But just so that I don’t leave y’all here with absolutely nothing, here’s a couple practice matches that I simulated yesterday using a Squidward that someone else made and a Squilliam that is entirely my own! And here’s a special surprise inside to celebrate, a little early, another forthcoming 10th anniversary And don’t forget to LEVEL UP your movie going experience by watching Shazam: Fury of the Gods, out now exclusively in theaters!

I was on a Desperados III kick when I wrote this about two and a half years ago (FUCK). This was originally supposed to be the first part of a trilogy in somewhat of an homage to The Dollars Trilogy, but I gave up on that idea pretty fast. It was the first thing I wrote post-Deathmatch so it holds a special place in my arteries somewhere. This is 2020’s “A Deadeye for an Eye”

Gens 5 and 6 will both always have special places in my heart being such huge parts of my childhood, but I feel I was too young to really take in the full scope of Gen 5 and I kinda squandered my Gen 6 years by not branching out of my comfort zone and missing out on a lot of cool shit (both for family financial reasons and me just being too much of a dumb to look past the likes of Crash, Spyro, Tekken, DBZ, Soul Calibur, Kingdom Hearts, Grand Theft Auto). Gen 7 was the first time my family was able to eventually get all three of the main consoles and the sheer backwards compatibility of those early models allowed me to make up for lost gen 5 (mainly just the PS1 library) and 6 time throughout each of the PS3, 360 and Wii’s lifetimes on top of everything coming out during that time like Dead Rising, Assassin’s Creed, Dead Space, Mass Effect, Dragon Age, BioShock, Batman Arkham, Infamous, Prototype, Dragon’s Dogma, Uncharted, The Last of Us etc I could go on. I was old enough to fully appreciate and take everything in that I could. Not to mention that this generation is also home to the DS and PSP, the two things that made my school days more bearable and a lot more fun (for better or worse) thanks to online play and the DS’ very generous Download Play option that blew the Gameboys out of the water. Having a full GTA experience on the go, in the palm of your hands, WITH multiplayer is enough to give any generation the dub in my book.

Scream VI

In celebration of its 10 Year (and two month) Anniversary, heavily inspired by Saints Row, here’s the prologue for the powerhouse ensemble: S(lums)BU! I’m rerunning it as it aired originally, so apologies in advance if it absolutely reeks of its time and era. This is about as far the anniversary celebration train will go for S(lums)BU, unfortunately. I don’t plan on doing some crazy ass anniversary project for it like I’ve done with a few of my other “legacy works”. With all that said, enjoy the trip.

Since it’s Arcade Anarchy II and video games have had a huge of influence over a lot of my writing, I’ll be rolling out some reruns of the “Greatest Hits Collection” for the remainder of the event! Maybe someday the Ghost of Krustshima will rise again. Maybe.

I’ve been steadily getting into The Cosmic Shake. Aside from that, I recovered my old PS2 from storage recently so I’ve finally been getting the chance to play this copy of Godzilla: Save the Earth that I bought from Book-Off like 3-4 years ago. I really missed the boat on these Pipeworks Godzilla games when I was a kid.

I was gonna pick Pink Gold Peach to go along with my username color, but I think I’ll use this opportunity to rep Monster Hunter instead by going with Brachydios.

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey

I actually went and made a best movies of 2022 list for this “podcast”/not-a-podcast that I do with a few friends on weekends over Facebook Messenger. I originally had multiple lists done up for different genres of movies, but I’ll spare y’all the drivel since my friends seemed to think it was a bit much lol 1) Everything Everywhere All at Once (Very good, very emotional. Great action, great laughs, great performances. A huge W for Asian-American cinema. This is the very tippy top for me) 2) Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (watch this shit y’all, I want this to succeed in the face of Avatar 2. Every major character felt like a big deal with their own compelling thing going. It didn’t have to go this hard, but it did, and it was all the more better for it. Dreamworks takes the cake this year. Here’s to more great content from them. I still very much need to watch The Bad Guys tho) 3) Bullet Train (fun movie all around, made even better when watching this on the biggest screen with the best crowd possible. A movie like this is what the movie theater experience is tailor made for.) 4) Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (legit made me cry in the theater. A movie that hit me harder on a personal level than I ever thought it would.) 5) X/Pearl (Mia Goth deserves awards for the performances she turned in for these, Pearl most especially. These movies really broaden the horizons of what horror can be capable of when in very imaginative hands) 6) Barbarian (Another strong ass movie for the horror genre, in a stacked year that’s considered one of the genre’s best) 7) Jujutsu Kaisen: The Movie (I was on a real Jujutsu Kaisen kick earlier this year) 8 ) Bodies Bodies Bodies (One of the funniest movies this year for me) 9) The Batman (Real strong yet still slow at times start for Matt Reeves’ take. Love the emphasis on the actual detective side of the character. Hopefully more pieces of the Batman character will be put into place as Battinson continues on for however long we have ‘em) 10) The Northman (I was all there for the craziness and the twists and turns that this movie takes) 11) Belle (Very good, very emotional. A huge reminder that I still need to watch Summer Wars) 12) Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (MCU’s strongest outing this year. Maybe a lil too long, maybe some stuff could’ve been shaved off. Faced really tough competition from the movies above it on this list) 13) The Menu (I never felt more vindicated being that one person who always orders the burger and never finishing their food) 14) Nope (A nice mix of sci-fi, western and existential horror. I place it right in the middle, behind Get Out but ahead of Us. Can’t wait to see what Jordan Peele cooks up next)

Good, I don’t have to hear the words “Wumpa League” again for the rest of my goddamn godforsaken life. Based on what I’ve read, and on the vibe I get from this trailer, it’s reminding me a lot of Pokémon Unite. And I swore off Pokémon Unite after about a month or two I’ll more than likely check this out to support my favorite orange boi, but I expect the same thing to happen if this is indeed like Pokemon Unite.