4EverGreen

All right, I might not get a chance to write until next Thursday, so here's the second and final part of "The Legend Of Pandora's Box!" Enjoy! / After the commercials end, the Contestants are at the Steps Of Knowledge, Squidward is tapping BOTH of his left feet tentacles impatiently! Finally, Squidward says: "All right, Spongebob! Enough of this 'Mature' charade! Stop 'Acting' like you're all grown up, and MAYBE I'll go jellyfishing with you!" Spongebob asks: "Who's 'Acting'? This is NOT an act! And you DON'T want to go Jellyfishing with ME! You just want to yell and SCREAM at me like the LAST 431 times I offered you that!" Squidward, gasps, but honestly CAN'T think of all the times that happened, so Squidward asks: "When were the LAST 430 times you asked me that?!" Spongebob asks: "Does it matter? I'm NOT going to ask you to hang out with me anymore, because you just want to use that as an excuse to shoot me DOWN again!" Squidward scoffs, and he says: "Like I NEED to hang out with you! You're BLUFFING, Spongebob Squarepants! You're NOT mature! Two more days of this 'Act', you'll realize the folly of YOUR ways, and you'll come CRAWLING back to annoying me!" And Spongebob actually LEAVES in a huff to use the Confessional! And Squidward pathetically whispers: "Please!" (Confessional) Spongebob groans, and he says: "Squidward has some NERVE, to say that I'm only 'Acting' like I'm mature! And where does he get off? Thinking that I'm going to fall for his ploy to go Jellyfishing with him?! I KNOW that HE knows that Jellyfishing is his LEAST favorite activity in the whole world! And I'm not going to fall for whatever reason he needs MY attention! I am DONE with Squidward FOREVER!!!!" / Squidward shivers in nervousness, and he says: "I...I...I'm Jonesing, man! I don't know how much longer I can last without Spongebob ANNOYING me! This is insane! Is this what an IRONIC Nightmare feels like?! Is Spongebob doing this ON PURPOSE?! All because of the little, TINY mistake of shooting him down 431 times?! Okay, maybe it's a HUGE mistake, because my creative talents are wasting away to NOTHING without Spongebob to bug me! What does everyone EXPECT of ME?!" Than Squidward actually HAS an Epiphany, and he says: "Okay, needlessly and carelessly shooting Spongebob down for no good reason, 431 times was WRONG!!!! I did...a LOT of lousy things! Now how about showing a little FORGIVENESS?! A drop?!" / Bubble Bass says: "I don't think Squidward has realized this yet, but the only way Spongebob will even CONSIDER Squidward's offer of friendship, is if Squidward PERSONALLY apologizes for ALL 431 incidents of having shot down Spongebob's offers of friendship! It will be interesting to see what gives first; Squidward's stubbornness, or his sanity? I'm personally banking on Squidward losing his sanity, FIRST!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Let's not waste anymore time, contestants! It's time to find out more about the Legend of Pandora's Box, from Olmec himself! Olmec, take it away!" Olmec says: "Since around 675 B.C.E., the Ancient Greeks told of a cautionary tale, revolving around Pandora's Box. Shaped in the form of a Grecian jar that they called a 'Pithos', it is believed that Pandora's Box came to the world, after Promethius stole fire from the heavens. Filled with wrath, Zeus, the King of the Gods, took vengeance by presenting Pandora, to Promethius' brother, Epimetheus. Pandora opened a jar left in her care, containing sickness, death, and many other unspecified evils which were than released into the world. Though she hastened to close the container, only one thing was left behind, the essence of Hope, which the Greeks called 'Elpis'. From this incident, the Greeks coined the idiom 'To Open a Pandora's Box', meaning to do or start something that will cause many unforeseen problems. A modern day equivalent, would be, 'To Open a Can of Worms'. However, modern evidence suggests that from a poem dating from the 6th century B.C.E., indicates that the opener of Pandora's Box, might have actually been a generic man, or even Epimetheus himself, who opened the box out of foolishness. In any case, the essence of Hope, is also seen as 'Expectation', both for Good, and for Bad things. But some have taken an optimistic reading, that Hope is preserved for the benefit of humans. The story of Pandora's Box went on to inspire three different French plays, as well as two poems in English. Sometime after 430 B.C.E., Pandora's Box became lost to the mists of time, and found it's way to the Temple! Your job is to retrieve Pandora's Box, and bring it back to the Temple Entrance!" Sniz says: "Thanks Olmec! Where can Pandora's Box be found?" Olmec says: "Pandora's Box can be found in the Dark Forest!" Sniz says: "All right, contestants! Now ordinarily, there would be a chance to win an Immunity Pendant; but since none of you can win one; we will instead present whichever team gets down the Steps Of Knowledge first, with a Pendant of Life that they will need for the Temple Run! And, depending on how the teams do, we will do either one or two challenges, to see which teams will get the two Pendants of Life, needed to complete the Temple Run! Olmec, take it away!" Olmec asks: "When was the cautionary tale of Pandora's Box, first believed to be told?" Bulma steps down first, and she says: "675 B.C.E.!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Bulma and Kitty go down a step! Kitty says: "Wow! We're ACTUALLY doing this! I'm impressed!" Bulma says: "Just be thankful that we actually HAVE some INCENTIVE to win this time!" Olmec asks: "What is Pandora's Box believed to be shaped like, and what did the Ancient Greeks call it?" Bulma steps down again, and she answers: "A Grecian jar, that they called a 'Pithos'!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And the Silver Snakes go down another step! Tigress says: "Hold it! How can THEY possibly move faster than ME?! Nobody moves FASTER than ME!" Gerald says: "First time for everything, Tigress!" Tigress says: "Watch your MOUTH, Fly Boy, or YOU'LL be eliminated after Judy!" (Confessional) Gerald asks: "Excuse me? 'Fly Boy'?! Is THAT what she's calling me now?" / Tigress says: "I KNOW that Dora is SOMEHOW responsible for this!" / Dora chuckles, and she says: "Let's just call this PAYBACK for all the times the Silver Snakes have been HUMILIATED this season!" (End Confessional) Olmec asks: "When did Pandora's Box first come to the world?" And Bulma rings in AGAIN, and answers: "After Promethius stole fire from the heavens!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And the Silver Snakes step down to the bottom of the Steps Of Knowledge! Sniz says: "Most impressive, Silver Snakes! You're two for two so far, your MOST impressive score yet! Can they make it three for three? We'll have to wait and see! For now, it's time to go to the Challenge arena!" Bulma says: "See what I did for YOU, Green Monkeys? I just helped secure our first Pendant of Life for the Temple Run! You're welcome." Stimpy says: "You're UP to SOMETHING! You CAN'T move FASTER than Tigress! Nobody CAN!" Bulma says: "It's not MY fault if Tigress' buzzer didn't work properly!" Marlene says: "So, you CLAIM!" Bulma asks: "Oh, why am I ALWAYS the FIRST to get BLAMED whenever ANYTHING suspicious happens on this show?! I mean, BESIDES my past track record?!" Dog says: "I was going to say!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "Believe me, if I was the one who sabotaged the Red Jaguars' buzzer, don't you think I would be the FIRST to admit my GENIUS of the plan?! Whoever did it, I'll give them credit, but they are WAY out of their LEAGUE if they think they can compete with ME!" / Dora chuckles, and she says: "Bulma has no idea what I'm CAPABLE of, or what lengths I'll go to in order to win! After all, she's NEVER had the help of MILLIONS of children watching her on a daily basis, and ALWAYS helping her pick the right path to take! With all of MY experience, I know EXACTLY the right path to take! Or Map's name ISN'T 'Map'!" / Stimpy says: "As hard as it is to believe, I think Bulma MIGHT actually be telling the TRUTH for a change! Trouble is, if SHE didn't sabotage Tigress' buzzer, who DID?!" / Marlene scoffs, and she says: "So much for hoping Bulma would AVOID trouble this season! If we DIDN'T need to win this challenge, we would THROW it just for a chance of getting RID of Bulma! But, seeing as how such an option would also put ME at risk, we HAVE to win it! It's not ideal, but it's the best course of action we can take!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! It's time to reveal the challenge! After Pandora's Box was opened, a bunch of evil stuff escaped into the world! In this challenge, you are to retrieve all the evil stuff that escaped from the box, represented by red balls! You will grab as many red balls as you can, and like playing basketball, you must shoot the balls into a replica of Pandora's box, hanging from beyond the three point line! Whichever two teams score the most points by the end of three minutes, will win a Pendant of Life for the Temple Run! So, if the Green Monkeys and Silver Snakes win this, that means it's game over for the Red Jaguars and the Blue Barracudas!" Tigress says: "Or in other words; we LOSE, I use MY Immunity Pendant of Life to vote off whichever two losers I WANT to!" Sway-Sway asks: "LOSERS?!" Tigress says: "Yeah! Because nobody wants to HANG with such 'Also Ran', run of the mill DUCKS like you and Buhdeuce, because YOU are BOTH nothing but DUMB-BUTTS!!!!" Sway-Sway angrily yells: "That DOES it, Tigress! It's TIME you put your money where your MOUTH is! I'd like to see you score a SINGLE point, without using EITHER of your hands! And spoiler alert, you CAN'T!" Tigress twitches, and she says: "Want to BET?!" Sway-Sway says: "I've been looking forward to the opportunity to take you DOWN a notch!" Tigress says: "Fine! But when I INEVITABLY score ALL the points for OUR team, YOU have to vote YOURSELF OFF!!!!" Sway-Sway says: "And, when being able to use BOTH of my hands to play while you CAN'T, I'll score all of the points for OUR team, and YOU have to vote yourself off, WITHOUT using your Pendant of Life!" And Buhdeuce gasps in shock! (Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "Tigress might be CRAZY competitive, but there's no way she'd take a risk THAT big, RIGHT?!" (End Confessional) Tigress impulsively says: "You're ON, Sway-Sway! And I WON'T miss! You're looking at the World CHAMPION of making baskets using ONLY her tail!" Sway-Sway says: "I still won't back down! Breadwinners don't give up, they l-l-l-LEVEL UP!!!!" And Sway-Sway sports a Harlem Globetrotters Jersey, a headband, wristbands, and leg-bands to go with his transformation! Tigress says: "Ho-hum. What a useless transformation. You changed your clothes, so what?!" Sway-Sway says: "Just wait!" And Rube Goldfish watches nervously! (Confessional) Rube says: "Under normal circumstances, Sway-Sway and Tigress would BOTH be able to score a lot of points! But the Green Monkeys and the Silver Snakes HAVE to be the ones to take the Temple Run! I know they won't appreciate this, but I'll have to use my magic on them! Besides, it will be NICE to wipe the SMUG smile off of Tigress' FACE!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Before we get to playing the challenge, each team besides the Silver Snakes will need to sit out two members!" Harvey says: "Fee and I will sit this one out, our small size would only slow the others down." Stimpy says: "Marlene and I will sit this one out." Marlene asks: "We ARE?!" Stimpy whispers to her: "We need to keep an eye on Bulma Briefs, and make sure she doesn't sabotage the OTHER contestants!" Marlene nods, and she says: "Good call!" (Confessional) Marlene says: "Bulma IS the type of person who WOULD sabotage the other contestants, just to make herself look good by comparison! It's good that Stimpy can think of these things!" / Stimpy says: "I'm just thinking about the safety of my fellow contestants. After all, if I don't, I'm not sure who would!" (End Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "I can't compete against my best Bro, Sway-Sway! I need to sit this one out, to!" Gerald says: "And I ain't messing with Tigress when she's all cray-cray, I'm sitting out, to!" Sniz says: "All right! We'll put three minutes on the clock, and to set the mood for this basketball challenge right, we will play Steve Miller Band's original version of 'Fly Like An Eagle'! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" / During the montage, the Green Monkeys and the Silver Snakes actually put ASIDE their differences and work together to score MANY points, while Rube Goldfish KEEPS using his magic dust to ensure that both Tigress AND Sway-Sway MISS every single basket they try to make! / Steve Miller sings: "Tick-tock-tick, doo, doo, doo-doo. Tick-tock-tick, doo, doo, doo-doo. Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future. Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future. I want to fly like an eagle, to the sea. Fly like an eagle, let my spirit carry me. I want to fly like an eagle, till I'm free. All through the revolution! Feed the babies, who don't have enough to eat. Shoe the children, with no shoes on their feet. House the people, livin' in the street. Oh, oh, there's a solution. I want to fly like an eagle, to the sea. Fly like an eagle, let my spirit carry me. I want to fly like an eagle, till I'm free. Fly through the revolution! Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future. Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future. Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future. Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future. (Scats) I want to fly like an eagle, to the sea. Fly like an eagle, let my spirit carry me. I want to fly like an eagle, till I'm free. Fly through the revolution! Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future. Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future!" / And the song and montage ends, as the challenge ends! Sniz says: "All right! Time is up! It's time to reveal who has the most points! The Green Monkeys and Silver Snakes, scored 1, 4, 7, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40 points! The Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas scored, 1, 2, 3, 4 points! The evidence is clear! The winners are, the Green Monkeys and Silver Snakes who have just won their second Pendant of Life! They're going to the Temple! Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas, I guess the Silver Snakes FINALLY got a win for once! Your fates will be decided after the Temple Run! For now, it's time to keep our promise! Dora, and Rube Goldfish, come on down!" And Dora and Rube Goldfish walk to the Challenge Arena. Sniz says: "As we are bound by our promise, Rube Goldfish, from this moment on, you are now a member of the Green Monkeys!" Rube says: "Amazing!" Sniz says: "And Dora, you are now a member of the Silver Snakes!" Dora says: "Hmmm, never really saw SILVER as my color! Still, I suppose I can find SOMEWAY to make it work!" Sniz says: "And to make sure Dora is the one who finds the box, the Green Monkeys will have to go first. Who wants to brave the Temple?" Dog says: "I'll go! I need to avenge Darwin!" Wally says: "Wow! Dog, that's really noble of you!" (Confessional) Wally says: "I hope the time never comes when I HAVE to avenge someone! But if it ever does, I will do it will all the abilities and skills that I possess!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! It's time to pay attention, as Olmec is going to tell you how to get through the Temple!" Sniz says: "First, run into the Mummy's Crypt! Pull on the right book, but beware of a Temple Guard! Next, go to the ledge, swing on the rope, and knock down the column! Than, climb up into the Room of Lights! Spin the Light Fixture, and go down into the Room of Paintings! Push the right buttons, and go into the Emperor's Chamber! Smash the clay pots to find the key, which will allow you to go into the Shrine of The Silver Monkey! Assemble the Monkey in the correct way, which will allow you to go down the Well! At the bottom of the Well, smash through the Stone Wall, which will allow you to enter the Dark Forest! There, you can grab the Legend of Pandora's Box! Place the key into the right tree, which will allow you to go into the Pharaoh's Tomb! Find the right key, which will allow you to go into the Room of Keys! Find the right key to the right key-hole, and head back through the Pit! Than, go through the Cave of Sighs, and back out to the Temple Entrance! May the odds be ever in your favor!" Sniz says: "All right! You two know what to do! Let's put three minutes on the clock! On your mark, get set, GO!!!!" And Dog, takes off, and Sniz narrates the action as he goes along! Sniz says: "Dog is heading into the Mummy's Crypt, and Kaput as a Temple Guard appears right off the bat! Dog gives him a Pendant of Life, and he's found the right book! Across the ledge, he's swinging on the rope, and he's knocked over the column! Up he climbs, into the Room of Light's! He's spinning the Light fixture, and he's heading into the Room of Paintings! Snaptrap as a Temple Guard has him! Go, Dora, go! There she goes, through the Mummy's Crypt, across the Ledge, up into the Room of Lights, and down into the Room of Paintings! Now she has to press the right buttons! She does it! Into the Emperor's Chamber! It's Johnny Krill as a Temple Guard! She gives up her Pendant, and now she's smashing the clay pots to find the key! She's found it! Into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey! She's got the Base, she's got the stomach, and now she's twisting the head onto it's proper position! It's clicked! Down into the well! She's pulling herself down, and she's smashing through the wall! She's in the Dark Forest! She's got the Box! All the doors are open! Through the Pharaoh's Tomb, through the Room of Keys, across the Pit! Now she's going through the Ledges! Dora's made it out, with 30 seconds to spare!" Dora says: "Of course I did, and I'm a woman of my word. This box shall now be CLOSED!!!!" (SNAP!!!!) Dora says: "Everyone here is now un-cursed!" Sniz says: "Right! And just to make sure that Box STAYS closed...WANDA!!!!" Wanda poofs in, and she says: "You yelled?" Sniz says: "I wish that Pandora's Box NOW, and in perpetuity for ETERNITY, and maybe even longer, remains closed to EVERYBODY and EVERYTHING!" Wanda says: "You've got it!" (POOF!!!!) And the Box is magically sealed tight! Sniz says: "All right! The Green Monkeys and the Silver Snakes both now have a new contestant, and, the Silver Snakes FINALLY won a Temple Run! Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas, it wasn't a good day to be ANY of you! Freshen yourselves up, and prepare to face an Elimination Ceremony!" Marlene goes up to Rube, and she says: "Now, don't take this the wrong way, but, you didn't happen to use MAGIC on the Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas to make them mess up, did you?" Rube winces, and he honestly replies: "Well, yes, but I wasn't a CONTESTANT when I did that! Am I trouble?" Marlene excitedly asks: "Are you KIDDING?! I've been waiting FOREVER for someone who was able to put TIGRESS in her place! I mean, yeah, she's MAD, but that's REALLY not different from any other day! It's fine with me, just don't do it as LONG as you're a contestant, and you'll be fine!" Rube nods, and says: "10-4, Marlene!" Bulma says: "Dora, do you mind talking to me for a moment?" Dora says: "Sure! What's on your mind?!" Bulma AGGRESSIVELY grabs Dora's arms, and Bulma asks: "Do you HONESTLY think you can PLAY on MY skill level?! I was SABOTAGING contestants while YOU were STILL saying 'Say map, say map'! You may THINK you're smart, but you are NOWHERE near MY genius! I'll let it slide THIS time cause we won, but don't you EVER interfere when it comes to US winning EVER again!" And Bulma walks away with the rest of her team, and Dora says: "Don't worry, I WON'T interfere with YOU winning ever again! Because if I have MY way, the Silver Snakes will NEVER win again!" (Confessional) Dora says: "Tragic. I would hope that Bulma would see me a potential ally. But, since she views me as a threat, who am I to disappoint her? So, if it's a threat she wants, it's a threat she'll get!" / Rube says: "I'm just glad that I'm a contestant now, and I don't have to rely on magic! Hopefully, if I'm right, Blonda is introducing ME to Bubble Bass right now! I mean, not 'ME' me, my baby self! It's...kind of complicated when there's TWO of me around!" (End Confessional) In Blonda's trailer, Blonda is waiting for someone to come to her door. Blonda asks: "Bubble Bass, is that you?!" Bubble Bass says: "YES, Blonda, and we NEED to have a talk!" Blonda sighs, and she says: "Come in!" Bubble Bass opens the door, and he says: "I think that given the circumstances, I have been EXTREMELY patient up until now, but if you THINK, that you can keep ME a secret to our OWN son for 20 YEARS, THAN--!" Blonda sighs, and she says: "Bubble Bass, I don't! I...should apologize. I've...been too shallow. I was SO ashamed of the way I looked when I was pregnant with Rube! I know I should've gone out with you, I WANTED to! But, I just didn't like LOOKING the way I did! And, I thought if Rube SAW you as you are now, he would be SO ashamed of me!" Bubble Bass asks: "Why would you think THAT?!" Blonda sighs, and she says: "It doesn't matter. I'm going to do what I should have done from the start. Bubble Bass, this is your son, Rube Goldfish!" And she hands the infant Rube Goldfish to Bubble Bass! Bubble Bass happily says: "Rube, it's so good to finally hold you! Listen, Rube, I just want you to know that whatever you choose to do with your life, I'll be proud of you! You are the greatest gift I could've ever hoped for! I know that someday, you'll accomplish great things!" And the tiny Rube hugs Bubble Bass's right arm fin, and kisses it! Blonda says: "Rube LOVES you! I'm...sorry I was so shallow! I...guess I was a victim of 'Immortal Immaturity'. I never had a reason to mature...until now. I...know it might be difficult with me, but I WANT to be the wife you deserve!" Bubble Bass says: "You've already made a good start, by keeping your promise to me!" / At the Elimination Ceremony, the Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas are waiting to vote! Sniz says: "All right, teams! You both know the drill! Pick a pair of losers, slide your mini-Pendant into the coin slot, and if you're safe; you'll receive a Chocolate Pendant of Life! Just be aware, one or more contestants might play their Immunity Pendant of Life tonight! With that being said, VOTE!!!!" And everyone quickly votes for the contestants they MOST want voted off! Sniz says: "Voting is over, so it's time--." Tigress says: "Hold it! I HAVE the Immunity Pendant of Life and I am playing it RIGHT NOW!!!!" Buhdeuce screams: "Oh, NO!!!!" Sniz says: "Tigress' Pendant is real, that means ALL votes cast for Tigress will NOT count! In fact, I'm going to reveal the name of EVERY single contestant who VOTED for Tigress, because I CAN! Otto Rocket, Sandy Cheeks, Judy Funny, Gerald, Pearl, Larry, Sway-Sway, Harvey Beaks, Buhdeuce, Gonard, Dudley, Zarbon, Chameleon, Fee, Squidward Tentacles. In fact, the only TWO contestants who DIDN'T vote for Tigress, were Tigress, and Bubble Bass!" Tigress says: "Well it's nice to know that not ALL of you are total SELL-OUTS!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "You would THINK they would KNOW better than to TRY to vote you off when they KNOW you have an Immunity Pendant!" Sniz says: "Well, to avoid repeating myself, I'll simply give the Chocolate Pendant of Life, to EVERYONE except the three OTHER contestants who got the most votes! Sway-Sway, Buhdeuce, and Judy Funny!" And everyone else gets a Chocolate Pendant of Life! Sniz says: "Contestants, this IS the Final Chocolate Pendant of Life!" Sway-Sway looks nervously at Buhdeuce, Buhdeuce looks hopefully at Sway-Sway, and Judy Funny just looks nervous in general. Sniz says: "And it goes to, Buhdeuce!" And Sniz throws the Chocolate Pendant at Buhdeuce, but Buhdeuce is TOO much in shock to make a grab for it! Buhdeuce says: "NO!!!! Sway-Sway, I can't LOSE you! This is SO totally unfair!" Tigress says: "UNFAIR?! I'll tell YOU what's unfair! Having to spend this ENTIRE game show, surrounded by HALF-WITS and INCOMPETENT losers, when I can win the game SO MUCH faster BY MYSELF!!!!" Buhdeuce angrily says: "Tigress, you just crossed a line! Sway-Sway might be leaving, but I won't forget this injustice for a MINUTE! Mark my words, Tigress, I will use every single one of my Breadwinner skills to DEFEAT YOU!!!!" Tigress smugly says: "Buhdeuce, I would LOVE to see you try! Of course, I'd love to see YOU inevitably force to pick ME to win this entire season, when there ARE no other adequate choices left!" Sway-Sway says: "Don't worry about me, Buhdeuce! I know you can do this! You've been training for this opportunity your whole life! This may be as far as I can see you through, but now you've got to summon up all your courage and all your skills, and go the rest of the way!" Buhdeuce sheds a single tear, wipes it, and he says: "Don't worry, Sway-Sway! You can count on me!" Judy dramatically says: "So, this is how the great performer LEAVES the stage! Alone, with only a mysterious duck by her side, as she exits stage left, to a fate unknown! Cast off into the CRUEL, COLD Wind, as she must now ROCKET down a Rail, as fast as the Rocket Mine Cart can take her! Adieu, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow!" And everyone except Tigress claps at her speech! Judy says: "That scene ought to win ME the Academy Award!" Sniz says: "Judy and Sway-Sway, the teams have spoken! It's time to put on your helmets and buckle up for a bumpy ride!" Judy and Sway-Sway both put on their helmets, enter into the Mine Cart of Shame, and buckle up! Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Than 3, 2, 1, BLAST OFF!!!!" And Judy and Sway-Sway rocket down the rails, and through the Mine Shaft of Losers out of sight! Sniz says: "All right! We've gained two contestants, and we've lost two! So, no net loss, no net gain, for now! We still have 34 contestants, and any two of them can be eliminated next! We're off next episode, due to it being a Performance Review! But make sure to stay tuned, for the next exciting episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "I HOPE you will tune in!" / Stinger: Judy and Sway-Sway's portal, ends up dumping the TWO of them into the middle of a room filled with pictures of a LOT of famous comedians, and some of the great clothes that they have worn! Sway-Sway says: "I don't think I've ever been in THIS place before! Do you know where it is?" Judy says: "I sure do! This is the Comedy Club in Hermosa Beach, California! Any comedian who is ANYONE, has tested their comedic chops here!" Sway-Sway says: "Cool! Want to give it a go?" Judy says: "I'm more of a dramatic actress than a comedienne. I'll let YOU take the stage this time!" Sway-Sway says: "Sure! I'll try anything once!" Sway-Sway steps up to the microphone, and he says: "Boy! Tigers, huh? They say to catch a tiger by the tail, but who would want to CATCH a tiger?!" (Drum-kick, and laughter!) Sway-Sway says: "The only thing SHARPER than a tiger's reflexes, are their CLAWS!!!!" (Drum-kick, and louder laughter) Sway-Sway says: "If I had a dollar, for every tiger I DIDN'T like, I'd HAVE one dollar!" (Drum-kick, loud laughter, and applause!) Sway-Sway bows, as roses and other flowers are thrown on stage! Sway-Sway says: "Thank you! I'll be here all night!" / Episode Notes: Two new contestants, Dora The Explorer (as a 15 year old), and FUTURE Adult Rube Goldfish (20 years old), join the contest in this episode, as a Silver Snake and a Green Monkey respectively. Kaput, Johnny Krill, and Snaptrap, return to this show as the NEW Temple Guards for this season! Featured Songs in this episode: "Evil Woman" by Electric Light Orchestra, "Walk On Water" by Eddie Money, and "Fly Like An Eagle" by Steve Miller Band. This marks the first time that a Nicktoon Jr. character has become a contestant on the "Total Cartoon" show, and the first time that the Silver Snakes have EVER won a Temple Run! First time this season that Sniz has revealed WHICH contestants TRIED to vote someone (Tigress) out, and just like last season, Bubble Bass is the ONLY other contestant who DIDN'T try to vote her out! Judy Funny and Sway-Sway are eliminated in this episode! Eliminated Contestants: 46. Kowalski. 45. Private. 44. Kaput. 43. Johnny Krill. 42. Haggis McHaggis. 41. Monster Krumholtz. 40. Aang. 39. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 38. Darwin. 37. Heffer Wolfe. 36. Judy Funny. 35. Sway-Sway. Remaining Contestants: Daggett Beaver, Silver Snakes. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Invader Zim, Silver Snakes. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Green Monkeys. Kitty Katswell, Silver Snakes. Harvey Beaks, Blue Barracudas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Blonda, Silver Snakes. Taotie, Silver Snakes. Tigress, Red Jaguars. Gonard, Blue Barracudas. Po, Green Monkeys. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Blue Barracudas. Zarbon, Blue Barracudas. Bulma Briefs, Silver Snakes. Chameleon, Blue Barracudas. Fee, Blue Barracudas. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Blue Barracudas. Yakety Yak, Silver Snakes. Squidward Tentacles, Blue Barracudas. NEW Contestant Dora the Explorer, Silver Snakes. NEW Contestant (Future Adult) Rube Goldfish, Green Monkeys. / Personal Notes: Okay, I know I SAID I wasn't going to have any NEW contestants JOIN this show while it was going on, but I just had to wonder, when ELSE was I going to get a chance to INCLUDE a Nicktoon Jr. character as a contestant on this show?! This might be the only opportunity I get to do so! Of course, I couldn't have an odd number of contestants, which is why I also decided to introduce a Future Adult Rube Goldfish into the competition! Being the newest addition to the "Spongebob Squarepants" cartoon character cast, he also has the most potential, as he hasn't been featured in that many stories yet! I felt Rube Goldfish would serve as a nice contrast to Dora, a former "White Dwarf Starlet" jaded by her childhood success, as opposed to an Actual Nice Guy, who just wants to spend time with his father, regardless of whether that involves traveling into the past to be with him! As for Judy and Sway-Sway, they found out the HARD way that if you MESS with the tiger, you OFTEN get the claws! At least Buhdeuce is still around, to carry on the fight for both himself AND for Sway-Sway! I hope you enjoy the First Performance Review for this season (as soon as I'm able to write it!) Enough said, true believers!

Since I'm going to be gone away for over a week, I'm going to try to knock one more episode out of the park. When I get back, the next episode will be the first "Performance Review" for this season. For now, please enjoy this one. / Sniz is standing in front of the moat, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Legends, we FINALLY had a normal episode, where all of the challenges proceeded as they should! Well, mostly! Bubble Bass found out the hard way, that being in love with Spongebob, wasn't going to be that easy if Blonda and Sandy had anything to say about it! Fortunately, Sandy ended up impressed by Bubble Bass' skills, and allowed him to be friends with Spongebob! Meanwhile, Treeflower found out the hard way that dealing with a newly mature and PRACTICAL Spongebob, was going to be a LOT harder than she ever thought! In order to save herself from the chopping block, Treeflower decided to shove Darwin right into the line of fire, where he constantly collided with Heffer! In the end, the Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas won, and Tigress once again, TOTALLY crushed the Temple Run! At the Elimination Ceremony, it was Darwin and Heffer who had to take a ride through the Mine Shaft of Losers. Now there are 34 contestants left, and anything can happen! First off, you may see some familiar faces as Temple Guards now, and maybe; even the Silver Snakes FINALLY winning a challenge for once?!" Bulma says: "Hey! We HEARD that!" Kitty says: "It could STILL happen! We can't ALWAYS lose!" Sniz says: "Right! Anyways, see what happens on today's episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "It will be a very GOOD one indeed!" / Instead of the normal show open, a montage of all of Treeflower's, and Bulma Brief's previous evil actions are re-played, all to the tune of the Electric Light Orchestra hit song, "Evil Woman". / Jeff Lynne sings: "You made a fool of me, but them broken dreams have got to end. Hey woman, you got the blues, cause you ain't got no one else to use. There's an open road that leads nowhere. So just make some miles between here and there. There's a hole in my head where the rain comes in. You took my body and played to win. Ha, Ha, woman it's a crying shame, but you ain't got nobody else to blame. You're an evil woman, you're an evil Woman, you're an evil Woman, Evil Woman! Rolled in from another town, hit some gold, too hot to settle down. But a fool and his money soon go separate ways, and you found a fool lyin' in a daze. Ha, Ha, woman what you gonna do? You destroyed all the virtues that the Lord gave you. It's so good that you're feeling pain, but you better get your face on board the very next train! You're an evil woman, you're an evil Woman, you're an evil Woman, Evil Woman! Evil woman, how you done me wrong. But now you're tryin' to wail a different song. Ha, Ha, funny how you broke me up. You made the wine, now you drink the cup. I came runnin' every time you cried. Thought I saw love smilin' in your eyes. Ha, Ha, very nice to know, that you ain't got no place left to go! You're an evil woman, you're an evil Woman, you're an evil Woman, Evil Woman!" / And the epic song and montage ends! / "The Legend Of Pandora's Box!" / It is still night time, Bulma goes over to Treeflower's hotel room, and Bulma knocks on Treeflower's door! Treeflower answers and she asks: "Bulma, what in the world are you DOING here?!" Bulma says: "I'd like to lodge a complaint against you! I KNOW that you're ONE of the contestants that just TRIED to vote me OFF!" Treeflower says: "Come on! You outright SAID that you were going to play the Immunity Pendant of Life! I simply assumed that you would, and you did! So what are YOU complaining about?" Bulma says: "The point was, I was TRYING to test your LOYALTY, to see how LOYAL you are to your fellow contestants!" Treeflower says: "You've never done ANYTHING positive for me, so why should I EVER be loyal to YOU to begin with?!" Bulma says: "Because I have the printed results RIGHT here, that you ALSO tried to vote off SPONGEBOB, despite the fact that you ALSO knew that he HAD an Immunity Pendant of Life!" And Bulma pulls out her (hacked) results, that she shows to Treeflower! Bulma says: "The proof is in the paper! And...it would be a REAL shame if Spongebob were to, 'Accidentally' get a HOLD of this!" Treeflower gasps, and she says: "You wouldn't DARE!!!!" Bulma says: "Try me!" Treeflower thinks about it, and she asks: "All right! What do you want?" Bulma says: "Fortunately for you, I feel in a rather forgiving mood. I'm willing to overlook the fact that YOU tried to vote me off, in exchange for helping me to get RID of the contestant that TRIED to vote you off!" Treeflower asks: "You mean someone DID try to vote me OFF?! I KNEW it!" Bulma says: "And you get three guesses as to who did it, and the first two don't count!" Treeflower asks: "You mean...SPONGEBOB!!!!" Bulma shows Treeflower the (hacked) results, and Bulma says: "Bingo!" Treeflower FUMES over seeing the (hacked) results, and Treeflower says: "I can't believe that JERK FACE tried to vote ME off! He KNOWS I'm the SMARTEST member of our team!" Bulma asks: "Why else do you think he would attempt such a thing? You are one of the biggest obstacles towards HIM winning this season!" Treeflower says: "So, why are you showing me this?" Bulma says: "Because I don't want Spongebob to win anymore than you do. I'll overlook the fact that YOU tried to vote me off, in exchange for YOU getting RID of Spongebob the NEXT time you face an Elimination Ceremony!" Treeflower says: "It's too risky to do right NOW! I won't have access to the Immunity Pendant until AFTER this upcoming challenge!" Bulma says: "Well, you do have a point there. All right! Win this challenge if you must; but the first opportunity you have, find the Immunity Pendant, THROW the challenge, and VOTE Spongebob off! There will be NOTHING anyone can do to stop you!" Treeflower than THINKS about it, and she says: "Wait! Why should I even TRUST you?! For all I know, you HACKED these results, and someone ELSE tried to vote me off!" Bulma says: "That might be true, and it might NOT be true! You really can't TELL with me! But do you REALLY want to TAKE the chance that I'm NOT lying and be BLINDSIDED when Spongebob TRIES to vote you off AGAIN?!" Treeflower thinks about it, and she says: "Of course not!" Bulma says: "Than I'll assume you will work with me?" Treeflower says: "Gladly!" And she shakes Bulma's hand! Bulma says: "And one more thing; under no circumstances are you to EVER to tell Spongebob or anyone else what you just discussed with me! After all, how can you POSSIBLY trust someone who's willing to LIE to your FACE?!" Treeflower says: "I won't say a word, Bulma!" Bulma chuckles, and she says: "That's EXACTLY what I'm counting on!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "I KNEW Treeflower wouldn't take a risk in NOT believing me; she behaves SO predictably, it's ALMOST not even funny! Key word there is, 'Almost'! If Treeflower gets rid of Spongebob, everyone will HATE her, and will try to vote HER off the first chance that they get! Poor Treeflower; for a genius, she NEVER thinks of things as to how they will affect her in the LONG term! Foresight; that's why I have an advantage over HER!" / Treeflower says: "Look, Bulma is COMPLETELY untrustworthy! There's no doubt about that! But, she also doesn't want STUPIDBOB Spongepants to win the game either! And as far as I'm concerned, that's a WIN in my book! Besides, think of how much EASIER everyone will be able to compete if they're not having to worry about Spongebob reverting to his old self! He can't POSSIBLY keep this mature 'Charade' up FOREVER! Can he?" (End Confessional) In their hotel room, Sandy wakes up, and she turns to Spongebob, and she says: "Spongebob, I have to wonder something; when do you plan on giving up this mature 'Charade'?" Spongebob asks: "Who said it WAS a 'Charade'? I'm not pretending to be mature; I'm actually TRYING to be mature! After all, you haven't seen me try to bug Squidward in the last couple of days, have you?" Sandy thinks about it, and she says: "No, I guess not." Spongebob says: "The old me would have jumped at any opportunity to try to hang out with Squidward, but now that I realize that he shot me down every time I ever did so, I have to come to the realization, that he NEVER wanted to hang out with me, so why should I continue trying? If he WANTED to hang out with me, he would have DONE it a long time BEFORE now! Besides, I thought you would be happy now that I'm mature. That's the biggest reason I became mature! I did it for YOU, since you're my wife!" Sandy says: "It just...takes some getting used to, that's all; like Bubble Bass' unexpected competence in this show! I'm kind of taken aback by it all!" Spongebob says: "Well, don't worry about it! All I got to do is find a way to eliminate Treeflower the next time my team faces an Elimination Ceremony! That's my biggest obstacle! Than, I'll figure out the rest of my game plan from there!" Sandy says: "Sounds pretty logical to me, Spongebob!" (Confessional) Sandy says: "When I first married Spongebob, I always expected that I would be the LOGICAL, PRACTICAL member of our union! And that I would handle any problems physical or mental! But, now that Spongebob has become mature, it's thrown the old balance out of whack! It's not easy for me to adjust to something like that! Maybe it's a little selfish of me to say, but I LIKED being the only SMART one in our relationship! Maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time accepting Bubble Bass' love for Spongebob. It's already hard enough being the smartest, now that Spongebob is being mature. I don't know how I can handle Bubble Bass' genius, being thrown into the mix!" / Spongebob says: "Sandy thought that I was only 'Pretending' to be mature? Why would I ever do THAT?! What purpose would it serve me to only 'Pretend' to be mature? I've got far many more important things to think about than 'Pretend' to do something! I mean, why 'Pretend' to do something if you can ACTUALLY do it! And if you can't do it, you can LEARN how to do it! I think Squidward could learn a LOT by actually trying to LEARN how to be a great artist and musician, instead of merely pretending that he IS already one...not that I really CARE that much about what Squidward's up to anymore!" (End Confessional) At the Silver Snakes' and Blue Barracudas' trailers, Zim, in a mournful voice says: "The Silver Snakes are down to seven! What are we to do?" Taotie says: "More importantly, how could we have ever allowed THIS to happen? It's ABSURD, that's what it is!" Kitty says: "It's all because you're working AGAINST each other instead of WITH each other!" Daggett says: "FINALLY! Some one ELSE said it! I've been TRYING to say that the whole time we've been LOSING, and none of you EVER give me so much as the time of DAY! So let's STOP messing around and TRY to actually function as a team! Do you think we can DO THAT for ONCE?!" Blonda groans, and says: "Fine! Since you're SO insistent on it, we'll do it YOURS and Kitty's way this time! But if we fail YET again, you two will be our TOP picks for Elimination!" Kitty says: "Don't worry, we WON'T fail!" Yakety says: "For your sake, I hope you're right!" Bulma says: "Don't worry your pretty little head! With MY genius, and Kitty's athletic skills, we can't POSSIBLY mess up THIS time!" (Confessional) Daggett groans, and says: "I am SO sick and tired of having to act like the GROWN UP in this whole endeavor! It isn't FUNNY anymore, it's downright LUDICROUS!" Than Daggett actually HAS an epiphany, and he says: "HOLY SPOOT!!!! Is THIS what Norbert has gone through and has felt EVERY SINGLE DAY he's had ME by his SIDE?!!! Why didn't he TELL me how annoying and AWFUL it was?!!!" Than Daggett has ANOTHER epiphany, face-palms himself, and he says: "Probably because I never LISTENED to him to ALL the 121 stupid times he DID tell me that to my FACE!" / Kitty says: "It's about TIME the rest of the team saw things MY way! Of course, it doesn't help that our team just happened to be filled with the most rag-tag bunch of rotten miscreants that ever graced the stage of a competition! Hopefully, those days will be BEHIND us now! I would actually like to chow down on a Chocolate Pendant of Life for once! And I can, since Wanda granted me the ability to do so!" / Blonda says: "The only reason I'm going ALONG with this plan, is because it will distract me from having to think about how Bubble Bass is spending time with Spongebob! Of course, once Bubble Bass DOES stop hanging out with Spongebob, I WILL have to uphold my end of the bargain, and let Rube Goldfish know that Bubble Bass IS his father! It's...not something I'm particularly looking forward to! Don't tell Bubble Bass I said that!" / Yakety says: "It's clear that even as the new guy on this team, I'm not exactly safe. Heffer was ALSO a new guy, and everyone else voted him off the first chance they got! It's lucky that I'm in an alliance with Bulma! Of course, I'll probably have to break it off at some point, knowing Bulma's past history, but I'll cross that bridge only if and/or WHEN I have to, and NOT before!" / Bulma says: "We HAVE to win this challenge! HELLO! We don't have an Immunity Pendant that we can play, and we can't get it until the NEXT challenge! So, winning THIS challenge is our ONLY viable option!" (End Confessional) Sniz rings a gong, and over the loud-speakers, he says: "Attention Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas, Darwin and Heffer Wolfe were eliminated at the last Elimination Ceremony! All teams are to report to the Moat to hear about today's challenge! That is all!" In the Red Jaguar's hotel lobby, Tigress says: "Well, looks like I made the right decision to volunteer Heffer to join the Silver Snakes, didn't I? Once dead weight, ALWAYS dead weight!" Judy scoffs, and she says: "You know, I'm getting REALLY sick of your condescending attitude towards EVERYBODY!" Gerald says: "Please! It's not towards EVERYBODY! Only to contestants who AREN'T named Po!" Judy says: "Well, that still leaves the REST of the world, let alone, the known UNIVERSE!" Tigress says: "Bring them on! I can take on any challenger, any time, any place, any WHERE!" Judy says: "Be careful what you wish for, Tigress! You just might get it!" Tigress says: "I usually do, and I actually WISH we lose this challenge, because I have an Immunity Pendant to keep ME safe, so that I can vote YOU off!" And Judy gulps in horror! (Confessional) Judy says: "Curse my superior acting skills! If I wasn't so confrontational, I wouldn't have earned the wrath of Tigress! But as it is, this is the part I must play now! And like any good actress, I shall play this part to it's GRAND finale, no matter WHAT that finale might look like! That is what a good actress, should STRIVE to do!" / Tigress says: "I wasn't put on this Earth to deal with other people's NONSENSE! Even WITH nine lives, my life isn't LONG enough for that! I just want to WIN challenges as fast as possible, and cut off any dead weight that will only slow me down! I'm in this game for the LONG haul! And it's about time everyone else saw that to!" / Gerald says: "It's too bad I wasn't BORN a panda! Maybe if I was, maybe THAN, Tigress might like ME, to!" (End Confessional) All the contestants suit up into their team colors, and head for the Moat! Sniz says: "Welcome to today's challenge on Total Cartoon Legends! Now, I'm not sure if you're aware of this or not, but last time there was a Temple Run; Tigress KIND of knocked out our normal Temple Guards! However, the show MUST go on! So, we made a few calls, and we got some former contestants to fill out as our new Temple Guards! Tell them who they are, General Barracuda!" General Barracuda says: "Right! Hailing from galactic reaches unknown to humans, everyone's favorite saboteur, the one, the only, Kaput!" And Kaput whizzes by in his jet-pack, doing several loop-de-loops, and lands on the ground! And Kaput is smiling to the camera! Po says: "What are YOU so happy about? You're STILL eliminated!" Kaput says: "True enough. But at least now, I'll get PAID to do what I like to do best; being a Temple Guard, and trying to THWART you from getting the Legend! At least I have MY priorities straight!" General Barracuda says: "And don't get any FUNNY ideas; you're only allowed to try to DRAG contestants OUT of the Temple! And if a contestant gives you a Pendant Of Life, you have to take it!" Kaput says: "I know that! I'm not going to make the same mistake I did in season three!" General Barracuda says: "We'll see! Our next Temple Guard is a daredevil prawn who likes to make his home in the ocean; give it up for Johnny Krill!" Johnny Krill rides in on a skateboard, does several impressive tricks with it on the Steps Of Knowledge, than skids to a stop in front of General Barracuda! Johnny says: "All right! It is good to be back on this set!" Squidward says: "You're only a Temple Guard, you can't compete anymore." Johnny says: "I know that! But this way, at least I get to be part of the action!" General Barracuda says: "Last, and most CERTAINLY least, everyone's LEAST favorite rat, Verminious J. Snaptrap!" Snaptrap walks in, and loud "Boo"'s are heard, directed right towards him! Snaptrap says: "Ahh, 'Boo' yourselves! Like I CARE about YOUR opinion!" General Barracuda says: "Let's get one thing straight right NOW, Snaptrap! You're ONLY here because TIGRESS, for whatever reasons she might have, VOUCHED for your innocence, and said you did NOT make the Fake Pendant of Life!" Snaptrap asks: "You KNEW that wasn't ME?!" Tigress says: "No offense, but that plan was WAY too smart for you!" Snaptrap groans, and he says: "Figures YOU'D be snarky about it!" General Barracuda says: "But remember; you are here on PROBATION! Make one slip-up, and you are GONE!" Snaptrap groans, and he says: "Fine! I'll stick to my REGULAR villainy as a Temple Guard, just so long as I actually get to BE evil!" Otto says: "By the way, what happened to Aang?" Snaptrap says: "I left him STRANDED on Pitcairn Island the moment we got there!" Pearl asks: "Why did you do that?!" Snaptrap says: "We...needed space!" Larry says: "You can't argue with him there!" General Barracuda says: "All right! You three get into your Temple Guard costumes, and you each pick a room to guard!" They do as they are told, and leave the stage! General Barracuda says: "As for the rest of us, there's a challenge to get to!" Sniz says: "Right! Olmec, tell us what today's Legend is!" Olmec says: "Today's legend, is the Legend of The Box of Pandora!" A Hispanic female voice says: "Did somebody say MY name?!" Marlene gasps in shock and says: "No WAY!!!!" Dog says: "It couldn't be HER!!!!" And to everybody's surprise, the image of a 15 year old DORA the Explorer appears, and she says: "Hola, mi se Dora! I FINALLY found this show! I don't know why it took my MAP so long to find it! Also, I felt quite DISTRESSED about NOT receiving an invitation to ANY of these seasons so far!" Sway-Sway says: "You WEREN'T wanted!" Dora says: "Not want--! Oh, my! Want an AWKWARD situation! I HAD hoped it had been merely due to some oversight! Well, perhaps I might be better suited to being some kind of nurse the way Fondue USED to be!" Sniz says: "And...you're not offended, Senorita Dora?" Dora says: "Why NO, Sniz! And to show you I bear no ill will, I'll TELL you something about today's legend! Listen WELL, all of you! The Box of Pandora is INDEED both a blessing and a curse; filled with the troubles of humanity, and the hope that it takes to fight them! But, should a direct DESCENDANT of THE Pandora open the Box, it will inflict a CURSE, on EVERYONE who has ever WRONGED her family, and THEY will be DOOMED for ALL Eternity!" Harvey asks: "What kind of DOOM?! And I'm only TWELVE; I actually LIKED your show! The first one, where you were younger, not the newer one, where you were older!" Dora says: "What kind of doom? You don't want to know! And for liking at LEAST one of my shows, you shall be spared!" Keswick says: "I don't see as to HOW that pertains to ANY of us! You're NOT a contestant on this show, so how CAN you open it?" Dora asks: "Who do you THINK put Pandora's Box INTO the Temple in the FIRST place?!" Buhdeuce freaks out, and he says: "No way! You ALREADY opened the Box?! Why?!" Dora says: "Because you have all DELIBERATELY chosen to ignore ME, and every other character from Nicktoons Jr. ALL THIS TIME! You act like WE don't even exist, despite the fact that Nick Jr. makes up at LEAST 33.33% of your average demographic, OR, 33.32% MORE of a demographic than 'Teen Titans Go!' gets on a daily basis! But, I WOULD be WILLING to close the Box, and thusly UN-CURSE all of you on one condition, IF you make me a CONTESTANT on this season!" Sniz says: "We would have an ODD number of contestants, than. Who would we get to even it out on such short notice?" A familiar voice says: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, AMAZING!!!!" Bubble Bass gasps, and he says: "No WAY!!!!" And in the doorway, stands a fully grown-up Rube Goldfish! Rube's eyes fall on Bubble Bass, and he says: "DAD?!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Rube?! Is THAT really you?!" Rube asks: "How could it be anyone else?!" Bubble Bass says: "But, you're STILL a baby!" Rube says: "Yes, and no! I am a baby in the present, but I come from 20 years in the future!" Bulma says: "Like YOU'RE special! My son did that as well!" Rube says: "Maybe so! But unlike your son, I didn't come to bring doom and gloom, I came here to have fun! And hang out with BOTH my father AND my grandfather, General Barracuda!" General Barracuda asks: "What?! How did you KNOW I was your grandfather?!" Rube says: "Because YOU just told me!" General Barracuda is flabbergasted, and he says: "I can't believe I fell for that! Anyways, it looks like the situation has resolved itself!" Sniz says: "Indeed! All right, to make SURE Dora IS the one who finds and CLOSES the Box, you two will have to WAIT until we find out WHICH two teams get to do the Temple Run, before we can officially add you two into the roster." Dora says: "Fine with me, I'm not going anywhere!" Rube says: "And I've waited THIS long to hang out with my dad, I can wait a little longer!" Bubble Bass asks: "Wait! What do you MEAN, 'Waited this long'?!" And Blonda tenses up in nervousness! (Confessional) Blonda breathes into a paper bag and she says: "Holy H-E Double Hockey Sticks! How could it be, that my own son, GROWN up, would travel into the past, to hang out with his father?! I was hoping to move the goal-posts, keep Rube Goldfish from finding out his father was a nudist! But now he's here! And if Bubble Bass finds out I was planning on moving the goal-posts, he might ACTUALLY leave me, which means I gave up my immortality for NOTHING! Not good!" / Bubble Bass says: "How could it be that it's only NOW, that my son is getting to hang out with me?! And he had to come from 20 years in the future, to do it NOW?! I need to have a talk with Blonda and find out what gives!" / Bulma scoffs and she says: "How do you like THAT?! Your son does something unique and innovative, and suddenly, you find others who just HAVE to copy it! Go figure!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "In any case, it's time to reveal how each team is going to get across the Moat! We've got ropes suspended from one end of the Moat, to the other. While holding onto the ropes, you must step on every single box between the starting line and the finish line. If you slip and fall, you'll have to go back to the beginning! Which every single member of your team has finished crossing, you will ring your team's pedestal gong, to verify that you have finished! Remember, the place you finish in this race, will determine the team-ups for the upcoming challenge!" Super Chum says: "I personally don't care WHICH team we have to play with, just so long as our team DOESN'T have to play with the Silver Snakes again!" And Rube Goldfish looks concerned! (Confessional) Rube says: "I obviously can't tell Super Chum this, but I have reasons for NEEDING the Green Monkeys and the Silver Snakes to work TOGETHER for this challenge! Now, normally, a contestant isn't allowed to USE magic in this challenge! But than, I'm not a contestant YET, am I?" / Super Chum says: "The day I treat the Silver Snakes like they're an actual team, is the day when they EARN my respect, which I highly doubt will EVER happen!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Since every team besides the Silver Snakes have two extra members, two extra members will need to sit out this challenge!" Pearl says: "Larry and I will sit this one out! Our massive muscle size might cause the boxes to break!" Chameleon says: "I'll sit this one out, because I don't want to take the chance that I'll short-circuit my Changing Suit!" Yakety says: "And I've finally gotten my fur to look the way I want it to, so I'll sit this one out as well!" Super Chum says: "And I..." Rube holds out his hand, and blows magic dust onto Super Chum and Po, and Po, in a trance, says: "And both I and Super Chum will sit this one out, we don't want our strength to break the ropes or boxes, either." (Confessional) Po shakes his head, and he says: "Why did I just say that? We can control our own strength! I wonder if Dora had something to do with it?" / Dora says: "I don't know WHY Po just acted all WEIRD all of a sudden, all I know is, the reason I'm here, is to avenge the loss of my beloved Boots! He was my childhood FRIEND, and the MINUTE he stopped looking young and cute, my parents took him away, and gave him to that TRAMP Jane Goodall! That's why I NEED to be on this show! I need to WIN the money, in order to buy Boots back from her! I mean, $44.44 million will make a LOT of people change their minds!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Everyone get into positions, and we'll play Eddie Money's hit song 'Walk On Water' to help set the mood! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" / During the montage, the Green Monkeys are back to performing well again, while the Silver Snakes are performing DOZENS of times better than they ever have before, while the Red Jaguars and the Blue Barracudas are having an unusually hard time completing the challenge, due to Rube Goldberg blowing his magic dust their way, in order to make them trip and slip up! / Eddie Money sings: "Well if I could walk on water, and if I could find some way to prove. If I could walk on water would you believe in me? My love is so true. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Well I'm no angel, now, I'll admit. I made a few bad moves I should regret. I hurt you once or so you said. Just one more chance is all you get. Didn't mean to do you wrong again. Worse things have been done by better men. Baby, baby, don't, don't treat me this way. I know, yes, I've got to pay now; I'm still paying. Well, if I could walk on water, and if I could find some way to prove. If I could walk on water would you believe in me, my love is true. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, oh! All along, I told you lies. To err is human, forgive is divine. Don't be a fool, don't settle the score! Cause I can't take it no more, I can't take it! Well, if I could walk on water; and if I could find some way to prove. If I could walk on water, would you believe in me? My love is true! Well, if I could walk on water (if I could); is that what I'm gonna have to do? If I could walk on water, would be you believe in me? My love is so true! Do I have to walk, walk, walk on water for you? Hey baby, baby, there's a little time, let's spend it together. We'll get over what we left behind, there's our future together! Yeah, well, let's stay together! (Guitar Solo) Well, if I could walk on water, and if I could find some way to prove. If I could walk on water, would you believe in me? My love is true! My love is so true, do I have to walk; oh, walk on water for you? If I had to walk, girl. If I had to walk, walk, walk. Do I have to walk on water, walk on water for you? Do I have to walk on water? Do I have to find some way to prove? Do I have to walk on water, walk on water for you? Do I have to walk on water? Do I have to find some way to prove? Yeah, yeah, walk on water, walk on water for you!" / And the montage ends with both the Green Monkeys and the Silver Snakes, unexpectedly finishing first together! Sniz says: "Unbelievable! What an upset! The Silver Snakes ACTUALLY finished a challenge FIRST, with the Green Monkeys for once! Let's hope they can keep up the momentum! So by default, that means the Red Jaguars and the Blue Barracudas will be working together!" Taotie goes up to Super Chum, and Taotie says: "I guess that makes YOU want to treat us, with a little more respect now, doesn't it?" Super Chum says: "Your face still looks like an absolute MESS!" Super Chum grabs Zarbon's hand mirror, and holds it up to Taotie's face! Super Chum says: "Just LOOK at yourself!" Taotie looks in the mirror, and actually smiles! Taotie says: "On the contrary, I didn't think I looked THIS good!" (Confessional) Super Chum says: "I may know the reasons WHY evil villains do the things they do, but I don't think I'll EVER understand Taotie's thought process!" / Taotie says: "For my sake this season, I have to play the LONG game, and not get rattled by little insults! That's what tripped me up the last time! I just got to vent out my frustrations in a healthy way, once these challenges are over!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "We've got to get some of our contestants dried up, but don't go away; because we'll be right back with the Steps Of Knowledge, the challenge, and the Temple Run for this episode! So stay tuned for the second half of this episode, of Total Cartoon Legends!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

Useless Dice Fact #2: Only the exceptionally EVOLVED insects can master the art of dice throwing!

I'm a radio D.J., so on average, I need to hear the volume of anything I'm playing be between 86 through 100% of the volume capability.

I have no idea what he's hammering, but it looks SO cool!

Useless Twist Fact #6: The only reason Hanna-Barbera Animation used so many of the same twist animation move cycles over and over, was to streamline production costs and to keep the animation industry alive.

All right, it's time to dive into the legend itself, with the second and final half of this episode! / At the Steps Of Knowledge, Squidward seems to be bothered by something, a fact which Gonard actually notices. Gonard says: "Hey, Squidward! You're looking a little bit out of sorts today; what's up?" Squidward says: "Spongebob hasn't bothered me today. He hasn't BOTHERED me ALL DAY!!!!" Zarbon, holding a hand mirror in one hand, and combing his hair with the other, merely scoffs, and says: "So what?! You know Spongebob ONLY bothers you when he WANTS to hang out with you!" Squidward says: "But that's just the POINT! He ALWAYS wants to hang out with me, and he hasn't done so! He MUST be sick!" Chameleon says: "I don't see why YOU would be concerned about it! After all, I thought you would ENJOY Spongebob not bothering YOU for a change!" Squidward says: "I thought so to, but now, I'm not so sure!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "Have I made a terrible mistake in rejecting Spongebob's friendship all these years? I THOUGHT if I had peace, quiet, and solitude, I would be HAPPY, but I'm NOT! Something is MISSING!" Than an unexpected EPIPHANY hits Squidward, and he says: "Chaos! I never REALIZED it before, but, it seems like I actually have some kind of NEED to be surrounded by frantic, annoying, and loud behavior, in order to focus on creating my artistic and musical masterpieces! Oh, but Spongebob would NEVER believe that! And after all the times I shot him down, he'd NEVER let me hear the end of it if I admitted THAT to him! There's GOT to be another way to get Spongebob to pay attention to me! But what?" / Zarbon continues brushing his hair, and he says: "Squidward's concerns, HARDLY concern me! As far as I'm concerned, he's only good for another vote that will help me get the LESS talented, and LESS beautiful contestants out of here. Nothing more, nothing less. And once he's served his purpose, I'll eliminate him, to! It's nothing personal, but only the MOST beautiful contestant can win THIS season, and THAT'S going to be ME!" / Chameleon says: "While I haven't always had the good track record of socializing or being sane prior to being a good contestant on this show, at least I've always known what I wanted! But Squidward? I don't think he REALLY has a clue! I mean, what kind of GUY says he HATES someone for 23 years, only to suddenly realize that, surprise, surprise, they actually somehow NEED that someone to function in life?! I'm beginning to think I'll NEVER understand Squidward Tentacles!" (End Confessional) Squidward goes to Sway-Sway, and Squidward asks: "Sway-Sway, you're...inexplicably dating someone who's actually REALLY super hot by YOUR standards, right?" Sway-Sway angrily asks: "What do you mean, 'MY standards'?!" Squidward says: "Come on! I didn't mean it THAT way! Just hear me out! Spongebob used to be insistent about wanting to hang out with me PRACTICALLY 24/7/365, and now, I'm getting zero play. What gives?" Sway-Sway says: "Well, if I had to guess, I think Spongebob took Bubble Bass' declaration of love for him to heart!" Squidward rhetorically asks: "SERIOUSLY?!!! What does Bubble Bass have that I DON'T?!" Sway-Sway says: "And while I can TELL that was a rhetorical question, I will answer it anyways. Bubble Bass has actually shown an active INTEREST in caring and concern for Spongebob, and Spongebob didn't even ask Bubble Bass to do that, Bubble Bass decided to do that on his own. Whereas despite Spongebob trying for 23 years to get YOU to be friends with you on at least 431 separate occasions, you have shot him down every single time, no matter WHAT he suggested! Did you honestly think that even HE wouldn't get the message eventually?! You LOVED being MISERABLE to him for NO GOOD reason, more than having what could have been an eternal friendship with someone who could've inspired some great masterpieces for you, and now you've LOST him forever!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I've lost Spongebob FOREVER?!!!" Squidward scoffs, and he says: "As if! Spongebob NEEDS to bother me! It's like second nature to him! Spongebob could never ACTUALLY grow up and take things seriously; he NEEDS to be annoying to me! Spongebob would never ACTUALLY give that up; right?!" Squidward looks around, and nervously asks: "Right?" / Sway-Sway says: "It's sad when even I can see that Squidward is denial! He thinks that it's IMPOSSIBLE for others to change, even when the evidence is right in front of his eyes! He only has himself to blame for not noticing how genuine Spongebob's displays of friendship were, sooner!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda walks up to the Steps Of Knowledge, and he says: "I'm FINALLY on this episode! I REALLY got to talk to Sniz about scheduling my appearances in, EARLIER in these episodes! In any case, I just want to assure you that the Steps of Knowledge are completely safe, now and forever more!" Buhdeuce asks: "What?! Did you have Cosmo STEP on each one until no more explosives came out?!" And General Barracuda merely nods! Buhdeuce, in a shocked look, asks: "SERIOUSLY?!!!" (Flashback) General Barracuda says: "Come on, Cosmo! You've only TRIPPED 172 bombs! What's 122 more, compared to a guy like you?!" Cosmo, SERIOUSLY charred and weary by now, says: "You're lucky that I'm immortal, otherwise, I would be in SUCH pain right now!" (End Flashback) General Barracuda laughs and says: "Worth ALL 12 hours of just sitting down, if you're speed watching!" Po says: "Must be some pretty fast speed watching!" Sniz comes up and says: "All right, contestants! Let's get this show on the road! I mean...you know what I mean! Olmec, it's time to talk about today's legend of the Golden Fleece!" Olmec says: "From about the Eighth Century B.C.E., the Golden Fleece, in Ancient Greek Myths, was a much sought after, and highly prized fleece, of a golden-wooled, winged ram named Chrysomallos! It once rescued a man named Phrixus and brought him to the city of Colchis. It is there that Phrixus sheared the ram of it's golden fleece, and Phrixus presented the Golden Fleece to King Aeetes. King Aeetes kept the Golden Fleece in a sacred grove; until the time came, when Jason of the Argonauts liberated the Golden Fleece, with the help of King Aeetes' daughter! The historical account is that Jason, the Prince of Iolcos, with the crew of the Argonauts, was set on on quest to retrieve the Fleece, by the order of King Pelias. By doing so, Jason was able to rightfully ascend to his place, on the throne of Iolcus in Thessaly, due to the Fleece being a symbol of authority and kingship. Sometime after 330 B.C.E., the Golden Fleece became lost to the mists of time, and found it's way to the Temple. Your job is to retrieve the Golden Fleece, and bring it back to the Temple!" Sniz says: "Thanks Olmec! Where can the Golden Fleece be found?" Olmec says: "The Golden Fleece can be found in The Emperor's Chamber!" Sniz says: "All right! Olmec will ask you questions to see how well you've been paying attention! And Red Jaguars? If you manage to get to the bottom of the Steps first, one of you will have a chance to win the Immunity Pendant of Life!" Tigress says: "And I'M going to be playing for it! I won't even NEED another contestant to help ME out!" Jenny asks: "Seriously?!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "I don't want people to think that I was just BRAGGING about being the smartest, I'm GOING to prove that what I say, is NOT hyperbole!" / Jenny shakes her head, and she says: "Tigress might find out the HARD way, that if you TRY to do things alone ALL the time, you may end up BEING alone ALL the time!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right; as for the other teams, Bulma and Heffer will play for the Silver Snakes, Treeflower and Darwin will play for the Green Monkeys, and Squidward and Gonard will play for the Blue Barracudas! Olmec, take it away!" Olmec asks: "When was the Legend of the Golden Fleece, first believed to be told?" Tigress rings in and says: "The Eighth Century B.C.E.!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And she moves down a step! Bulma says: "OOH! Strong, fast, AND smart! Usually you have to pay EXTRA to get THAT in a single package!" Olmec asks: "What was the name of the golden-wooled, winged ram that the Golden Fleece came from?" Tigress rings in again, and says: "Chrysomallos!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" Sandy gasps in shock, and says: "She MIGHT actually DO it!" Bubble Bass says: "You think THAT'S bad?! If she does it, she will UTTERLY prove that she doesn't NEED the rest of you!" Olmec asks: "Where did Chrysomallos take Phrixus to?" Tigress rings in AGAIN and says: "The City of Colchis!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Tigress steps down to the bottom of the Steps of Knowledge! Sniz says: "I don't believe it! In a HISTORIC first, Tigress has completed the Steps of Knowledge, all by herself! And, she gets the option of whether to keep the Immunity Pendant for herself, or, give it to someone else on her team!" Tigress grabs the Immunity Pendant, and she says: "I'm keeping THIS bad boy to myself! Mama didn't raise no fool, and my daddy? He hardly raised ME at all!" Sniz says: "In any case, there's no need to play the rest of the Steps Of Knowledge, since each team has an Immunity Pendant to call their own, it's time for the Challenge portion of the game!" And Sniz and the others go to the Challenge Arena! And Tigress looks arrogantly at Jenny, and Tigress says: "I TOLD YOU I'D WIN!!!!" And Jenny scowls angrily! (Confessional) Jenny says: "I honestly didn't think it was possible, but even as a ROBOT, I just experienced PURE, UNADULTERATED RAGE against TIGRESS just now!" / Tigress holds the Immunity Pendant in her left hand, and she says: "Jenny is just jealous, because as long as I hold this and WIN challenges, no one can TOUCH me!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! It's time to reveal what today's challenge will be, for entering the Temple! In the Legend, the Golden Fleece was sheared off of Chrysomallos, before it was given to King Aeetes. In this challenge, pieces of the Golden Fleece will be blown across the stage. Utilizing teamwork, you will collect as many pieces of the Golden Fleece as you can within the time limit. Your job is to put it into a gigantic bucket, at the bottom of the statue of the Golden-Wooled, Winged Ram! At the end of the challenge, whoever has filled up the bucket to the red line, or whoever has collected the most wool; those two teams will end up going to the Temple! With the exception of the Silver Snakes, each team has choices as to who to sit out, who will the Green Monkeys sit out this time?" Treeflower gets a DEVIOUS look on her face, and she says: "You know what? I've changed my mind. I think I'LL sit this one out THIS time, with Keswick, and we'll SEE what Dog and Darwin can do!" Darwin asks: "Seriously?!" (Confessional) Darwin says: "I never thought I'd see Treeflower have faith in me! Come to think of it, I'm not sure if she really HAS faith in me at all! I think she's trying to set me up into a 'Uriah Gambit', and I don't like it!" / Treeflower says: "The way I see it, it's a 'Win-Win' for me. If Dog and Darwin do good, I can take credit for the great idea, and the other contestants will like me more! If they fail, I can blame THEM for failing, and convince everyone to vote off whoever does WORST if we lose! Either way, my day doesn't end too badly!" / Dog says: "No matter what happens, I can't let my team down! The honor of Nearburg, rests on my shoulders!" (End Confessional) Tigress says: "Seeing as how Judy FAILED us the LAST time she ran the Temple, SHE will sit this one out!" Judy scoffs, and she says: "Like YOU could FARE any better against a Temple Guard?!" Tigress says: "Watch me! I'll fight them tiger to man, with ONE hand behind my back! ALL THREE of them!" (Confessional) Judy says: "Why does Tigress INSIST on making the challenge more difficult for herself than she needs to?" / Tigress says: "I HAVE to make the challenge interesting! HELLO! Now that Aang is GONE, I have LOST my best source of challenge for this season! So, anything I can do to make the challenge at least INTERESTING to myself, I'll take! After all, I was NOT raised to be a LOSER!" (End Confessional) Zarbon says: "I must regretfully sit this one out for the Blue Barracudas. I finally got my hair to look the way I like it, and 50%; possibly 99.99% of the world, would be DEVASTATED, if anything were to happen to my beauty!" Dudley asks: "Who's the 0.01%?" Zarbon says: "There are two people on this world...I can't say. But needless to say, I wouldn't miss them if THEY were gone!" (Confessional) Zarbon says: "In my experience, ugliness and stupidity seem to go hand in hand. Just look at Taotie! He couldn't concoct a good scheme even if his LIFE depended on it! I would enjoy the chance to vote HIM off! But, seeing as how my team isn't paired up with his, I shall simply have to hope Bulma does the deed for me, unless somebody else messes up WORSE!!!!" / Dudley says: "I think I know WHO Zarbon is talking about, but I can't say either, due to the fact that it might cause some 'Unfortunate Implications'." (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Our teams are all ready! We'll put three minutes on the clock, and to get you in the mood, we'll be playing The Association, and their hit song, 'Windy'. On your mark, get set, GO!!!!" / During the song, Tigress, Otto, Larry, Sway-Sway, Gonard, Dudley, Chameleon, and Bubble Bass end up doing the majority of the work for the Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas, as they manage to gather up the most fleece quickly and easily! Meanwhile, the Green Monkeys can NOT get along with the Silver Snakes at all! While Dog is hurrying and TRYING his best, Darwin keeps TRIPPING, running into Heffer Wolfe, or BEING tripped by the other Silver Snakes on purpose, while Treeflower and Keswick enjoy WATCHING the action, as they're BOTH eating a bag of popcorn! / The Association sings: "Who's peeking out from under a stairway, calling a name that's lighter than air? Who's bending down to give me a rainbow? Everyone knows it's Windy. Who's tripping down the streets of the city, smiling at everybody she sees? Who's reaching out to capture a moment? Everyone knows it's Windy! And Windy has stormy eyes that flash at the sound of lies. And Windy has wings to fly above the clouds (Above the clouds). Above the clouds (Above the clouds). (Instrumental Break) And Windy has stormy eyes that flash at the sound of lies. And Windy has wings to fly above the clouds (Above the clouds). Above the clouds (Above the clouds). Who's tripping down the streets of the city, smiling at everybody she sees? Who's reaching out to capture a moment? Everyone knows it's Windy! Who's tripping down the streets of the city, smiling at everybody she sees? Who's reaching out to capture a moment? Everyone knows it's Windy! Who's tripping down the streets of the city, smiling at everybody she sees? Who's reaching out to capture a moment? Everyone knows it's Windy! Who's tripping down the streets of the city, smiling at everybody she sees? Who's reaching out to capture a moment? Everyone knows it's Windy! Who's tripping down the streets of the city, smiling at everybody she sees? Who's reaching out to capture a moment? Everyone knows it's Windy!" / And the epic song and challenge ends, as the Red Jaguars and the Blue Barracudas manage to fill THEIR bucket all the way to the red line first! Sniz says: "And it's over! It's all over! The Red Jaguars and the Blue Barracudas win the challenge! Green Monkeys, I thought I would never have to say this, but, you're going to be facing an Elimination Ceremony tonight, WITH the Silver Snakes!" Treeflower says: "Thanks a LOT, Darwin! If it hadn't been for both YOUR, and HEFFER'S gross INCOMPETENCE, we might have actually WON this thing!" Darwin says: "Come on! The Silver Snakes will DELIBERATELY sabotaging ME!" Treeflower says: "That's no excuse! There is NOTHING that can save YOU now!" Darwin moans, and he says: "Oh, boy!" (Confessional) Darwin groans and he says: "I HATE it when I'm right about things I don't WANT to be right about!" / Treeflower says: "I FIGURED Darwin as the weak link! The Silver Snakes just confirmed it! At least I managed to take the target off of me, and put it onto him! It's ALWAYS important to have an exit strategy, BEFORE getting into any sticky situations!" (End Confessional) Sandy goes up to Bubble Bass, and she says: "I must admit, I was thoroughly impressed by your leg work out there! Have you lost WEIGHT?!" Bubble Bass says: "Actually, I have. Cut out the Twinkies and Mountain Dew. Plus, I HAVE been exercising quite considerably since becoming a contestant on this show!" Sandy says: "I actually wondered how someone like YOU managed to WIN last season, but now I've seen the proof for myself!" Bubble Bass asks: "What do you mean; 'Someone like ME'?" Sandy says: "Sorry. I didn't mean to put it that way! I meant no offense by it! Can we be friends?" Bubble Bass says: "Does that mean I can at least be friends with Spongebob?" Sandy says: "Sure! I can never turn down someone who's both smart AND surprisingly athletic like I am!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "So, at least Sandy thinks of me as a friend now, that's a step in the right direction! Even if that's all it becomes, I think I can be happy with that!" / Sandy says: "Bubble Bass is definitely more competent than I initially gave him credit for. Even though he's already won last season, I still don't think it will be easy to beat him. He might decide to play TWICE as hard BECAUSE everyone already knows what he's capable of! And I look forward to seeing everything he has to offer!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "While the Green Monkeys and Silver Snakes wait to find out their fate! It's time for someone to enter the Temple! Who's going to..." Tigress says: "I will! And I will do it BY myself, NO Pendants, and no Temple description needed!" Otto says: "Come on! Even I'M not THAT crazy, and I'm ME!" Tigress says: "I got to the Legend the LAST time that I ran the Temple, I can certainly do it AGAIN! And the Temple Guards KNOW that they are no match for me!" Sniz says: "All right, Tigress. You will have THREE minutes to get through the Temple, find the Golden Fleece, and bring it back here!" And Tigress, true to her WORD, puts her left hand behind her back! Tigress says: "You see my left hand? I WON'T throw a SINGLE punch from it! So Temple Guards, COME GET ME IF YOU'RE BRAVE ENOUGH!!!!" Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "On your mark, get set, GO!!!!" And Tigress quickly runs into the Mummy's Crypt, and THREE Temple Guards jump out to try to CAPTURE her, but using just her RIGHT hand, her legs, her TAIL, and her head, she quickly KNOCKS all THREE of them out; quickly BUSTS through each MAGICALLY reinforced door with just her RIGHT fist, GRABS the Golden Fleece with her RIGHT hand, and quickly runs BACK to the Temple Entrance over the STILL unconscious Temple Guards, and makes it to the Temple Entrance in ONLY one minute of the three minute total! Sniz says: "Tigress, you're GOING through the Temple TOO FAST!!!! You now have BOTH the fastest, and the second fastest run in ALL of Legends of The Hidden Temple history by a LONG shot!" Tigress says: "That's because I DON'T mess around; I came here to play, and WIN!" Gerald says: "One of these days, Tigress, you're going to bite off MORE than you can chew!" Tigress nods, and says: "Maybe so! But I'd rather take the risk, than be bored ANY day!" General Barracuda says: "You KNOCKED out THREE Temple Guards! Who would POSSIBLY accept to be Temple Guards NOW, when they see how EASILY you beat THREE of them?!" Tigress scoffs and says: "Just get Verminious J. Snaptrap and some other former contestant saps to do it! I already KNOW that Snaptrap truly DIDN'T make the Fake Pendant, but it would STILL be a good way for him to perform some community service, AND get him away from Aang!" General Barracuda says: "You want US to bring back a KNOWN villain as a Temple Guard?!" Tigress says: "I think everyone has already seen that I can HANDLE anything! And if he gets out of line, I'll just beat him up for you! Does that sound fair?" Sniz says: "Sounds fair to me! I just got to make a couple of calls...AFTER the Elimination Ceremony!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Anyone can beat up an ordinary Temple Guard! But to beat up Snaptrap and what ever OTHER poor saps Sniz manages to get? Now THAT will be a challenge!" / Gerald shakes his head, and says: "Tigress is all KINDS of crazy! BUT, she does seem like she DOES have the skills and the abilities to back up her words! Is there anything she CAN'T do?! Besides actually ACT like she's part of a team?!" / Treeflower says: "If my calculations are right, which they often are; with the amount of convincing that I've done with the other Green Monkeys and Silver Snakes, Darwin will be leaving along with Heffer! Nothing personal, I'm just getting rid of the dead weight!" (End Confessional) The Green Monkeys and the Silver Snakes are both at the Elimination Ceremony. Sniz says: "Welcome Green Monkeys, to the first Elimination Ceremony that you have faced as a team. The Silver Snakes are already familiar with this, but you're new, so I'll let you know what the deal is. You will vote for one member of each team on the voting tablet. Once you've confirmed your choices, put a miniature Pendant of Life into the Coin Slot to lock in your votes! Than, we will tally the votes, and the two contestants who get the most votes, will be eliminated, and have to ride the Mine Cart of Shame. That means they are out of the contest this season, and can NEVER come back as contestants this season, EVER! And of course, just remember, there are a couple of Pendant holders out there!" Bulma says: "Such as ME! I HAVE an Immunity Pendant of Life, and I WILL be playing it!" Daggett sarcastically says: "Gee, that sounds SMART to say OUT LOUD!!!!" Bulma says: "DUH! It's a test of LOYALTY! I want to SEE where everybody stands as to how LOYAL they are to me!" Stimpy says: "Spongebob, I don't think you should take any chances. You better play the Immunity Pendant of Life to, just to be safe!" Spongebob says: "Of course I'm going to do that! NOBODY is going to get the drop on me THIS season!" Stimpy says: "Wow! I'm impressed!" (Confessional) Stimpy says: "Yep! Spongebob is DEFINITELY going to work as an alliance member! Once this Elimination Ceremony is over, I will make a five vote, voting bloc, and we'll have the numbers on our team!" / Spongebob says: "I have to be practical this season! I tried playing it the OLD way the last three times, and someone always ended up taking advantage of me! I won't be fooled again, because this time, I've TRULY woken up, and I'm NEVER going back to sleep and revert to my old ways again!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, contestants, it's time to vote! And after voting, anyone who HAS an Immunity Pendant of Life better give it to me before I read the votes!" The contestants all quickly scroll through the choices, and pick who they want to have voted off! Sniz says: "Voting is over, so it's time--." Bulma says: "Hold it! Just to make SURE nobody thought that I was BLUFFING, I am PLAYING my Immunity Pendant of Life!" And she slams her Immunity Pendant down on Sniz's table! Sniz says: "The Immunity Pendant is real, that means all votes cast for Bulma will not count. Now--." Spongebob says: "And I'm playing my Immunity Pendant, to! I don't trust Treeflower as far as I could throw her, which is NOT very far at all!" And he places his Immunity Pendant down on Sniz's table as well! Sniz says: "This Immunity Pendant is also real. That means all votes cast for Spongebob will not count! With that, it's time to tally the votes, and reveal who will be getting Chocolate Pendants of Life, to signify that you are safe. Daggett Beaver; Obviously, Spongebob. Stimpy, Zim, Marlene, Dog, Kitty, Super Chum, Keswick, Blonda, Taotie, Po, Wally; Obviously, Bulma Briefs. Yakety Yak!" Treeflower, Darwin, and Heffer Wolfe all tense up as they know that they are the only ones left! Sniz says: "Contestants, this IS the Final Chocolate Pendant of Life!" Treeflower sweats profusely, Darwin crosses his fingers for good luck, and Heffer is just eating a bag of chips, as if he was unconcerned about the decision. Sniz says: "And it goes to, Treeflower!" Treeflower says: "All right! Which of you JERK wads tried to vote ME off?!" Daggett says: "You're wasting your time, Sister In Law, which is the way that you ARE related to me, being Norbert's husband! I couldn't waste a vote on YOU, even if I wanted to! Norbert wouldn't be happy about it!" Stimpy says: "Besides, unless Sniz DECIDES to read the votes, they're always private, and unknown to the contestants!" Treeflower scoffs, and she says: "Private, SCHMIVATE! I WILL somehow find out WHO tried to vote ME off! And when I find out WHO did it, they will RUE the day they EVER tried to cross me!" And Bulma gets a coy look after hearing THAT suggestion! Sniz says: "Darwin and Heffer, your teams have spoken, it's time to put on your helmets, and ride the Mine Cart of Shame!" General Barracuda says: "Hold it! That Mine Cart is SPECIFICALLY designed to handle weights ONLY up to 444 pounds!" Heffer says: "And that's a problem HOW?" General Barracuda says: "Because you WEIGH like 800 pounds!" Darwin says: "Why don't you simply STRAP Heffer to the FRONT of the Mine Cart? Surely, the rockets on the back could propel us both THAT way!" Heffer says: "DARWIN!!!!" Darwin asks: "WHAT?! I'm just trying to be helpful, which is more than I can say for you!" Heffer says: "And I want to know why didn't the camera focus more on ME?!" Bulma says: "Because all you ever did was EAT!!!!" Heffer looks at the bag of chips he's still holding, and he says: "It's a fair cop." Sniz asks: "WANDA?!!!" Wanda poofs in, and she says: "According to my calculations, Darwin's idea will work!" Heffer says: "Thanks a lot, Darwin!" Darwin says: "What?! You're going to be eliminated anyways, whether you want to be or not!" Sniz says: "Very true! General Barracuda, strap him on tight!" General Barracuda gets the THICKEST ropes he can find, and wraps Heffer and the Mine Cart tightly together! General Barracuda says: "Got it!" Sniz says: "All right! Darwin, are you all buckled up safely?" Darwin has his helmet on, and buckles up, and he says: "I'm as ready as I'll ever be!" Sniz asks: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Warm up the afterburners, General Barracuda! Let's fire this mine cart with everything it's got! 3, 2, 1, BLAST OFF!!!!" Utilizing ALL the engines on the back of the Mine Cart, the momentum manages to propel BOTH Heffer and Darwin down the rails, and through the Mine Shaft of Shame! Sniz says: "And just like that, two more contestants are gone! Will Treeflower find out if ANYBODY tried to vote her off? Can the Green Monkeys bounce back from their first loss? And will the Silver Snakes EVER stop losing contestants? I seriously doubt that last one, but find out, on the next episode, of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "It will be an adventure, you won't want to miss!" / After everyone else has left the Elimination Ceremony, Bulma comes back, and goes up to the official Vote Tally Computer. Using her genius expertise, she hacks her way in, and brings up the OFFICIAL Voting Results from the Vote-Off! Bulma says: "Let's see, Daggett tried to vote for me? Hardly surprising! Stimpy tried to vote me off? Didn't think he was THAT smart to try to force me to play my Pendant! Figures Marlene would try to vote ME off, the way I eliminated her in season three! No shock that Blonda tried to vote me off! And TREEFLOWER?! You tried to vote ME off?! Very NAUGHTY, Treeflower, but, I see Super Chum DID try to vote YOU off, do-gooder that he is! However, how about I CHANGE the results, and make YOU go after Spongebob instead?!" Bulma does some more hacking, ALTERS the votes to make it so Spongebob voted for Treeflower INSTEAD of Darwin, and Bulma prints off the HACKED results! Bulma grabs the printed paper, and she says: "Treeflower, whether you know it or not, you are going to be entering into a LONG alliance with ME! Unfortunately for you, you will get NONE of the rewards, while I plan on walking away with $44.44 million, and PROVE that I am the genius that I say I am! Nothing personal; let's just say it's payback for the way I was HUMILIATED in season 3! And this time, the ball is in MY court!" / Stinger: Darwin and Heffer exit the portal, and they wind up somewhere in Europe! Heffer asks: "This is a weird town! Where in the world are we?" Darwin says: "I've been through this place with Eliza! We are in Pamplona, Spain!" Heffer says: "Wow! We'll get to be able to eat REAL Spanish food, not that Mexican stuff! But hold on! Why are the streets so empty?" Darwin gets a HORRIFIED look on his face, and he says: "WAIT! Pamplona, SPAIN?! Isn't THIS the town that's famous for an event that happens once a year?!" They get their answer, when they hear thundering footsteps behind them, and a bunch of black bulls come charging towards them! They both scream: "RUNNING OF THE BULLS!!!!" And utilizing "Wheel Of Feet", they both take off as FAST as they can, and keep looking to the sides, as if trying to find a way that doesn't involve running down the same directions as the bulls are running! Darwin says: "I think I'll take you up on your offer to eat some authentic Spanish cuisine with you, just as SOON as these bulls have to finally catch their BREATH!!!!" / Episode Notes: First time this season that the Green Monkeys have had to go to an Elimination Ceremony, and the first time that they had to work with the Silver Snakes, meaning every single team combination has now been utilized at least once, and every single team has now had to face an Elimination Ceremony at least once! Tigress beats ALL THREE ordinary Temple Guards at the time, forcing Sniz to call Verminious J. Snaptrap and two as of yet undetermined former contestants to become new Temple Guards! Featured songs in this episode: "You Don't Mess Around With Jim" performed by Jim Croce, and "Windy" performed by The Association. Darwin and Heffer are eliminated in this episode. Eliminated Contestants: 44. Kowalski. 43. Private. 42. Kaput. 41. Johnny Krill. 40. Haggis McHaggis. 39. Monster Krumholtz. 38. Aang. 37. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 36. Darwin. 35. Heffer Wolfe. Remaining Contestants: Daggett Beaver, Silver Snakes. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Judy Funny, Red Jaguars. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Invader Zim, Silver Snakes. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Green Monkeys. Kitty Katswell, Silver Snakes. Sway-Sway, Blue Barracudas. Harvey Beaks, Blue Barracudas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Blonda, Silver Snakes. Taotie, Silver Snakes. Tigress, Red Jaguars. Gonard, Blue Barracudas. Po, Green Monkeys. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Blue Barracudas. Zarbon, Blue Barracudas. Bulma Briefs, Silver Snakes. Chameleon, Blue Barracudas. Fee, Blue Barracudas. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Blue Barracudas. Yakety Yak, Silver Snakes. Squidward Tentacles, Blue Barracudas. / Personal Notes: As is the case for every season, I try to avoid making ALL my plans concrete, as I want to be flexible enough to allow for some flexibility in terms of which contestants get eliminated that end. To that end, my goal is to find out which contestants seem to have the most going for them story-wise, and which don't. Darwin and Heffer, were two contestants who I wasn't able to find a compelling enough story that would work out for them. And rather than drag their relative non-importance through more episodes, I decided to put them out of their irrelevance early, and have them voted off now. Hopefully, that will leave room for the more impressive characters, to have more moments to shine! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

In movie theaters, I have seen both "The Bad Guys" and "Top Gun Maverick". Both are great movies in their own right!

"The Big Bad Danny Devito" ("The Big Bad Bubble Bass").

The (New) Spin-Off Festival Ticket Collectable Pin for 400 tickets, please.

I'll try "Total Cartoon Legends" again!

Useless Twist Fact #5: Designers made lipstick cases to twist instead of just push, so that people WOULDN'T mistake them for Push Pops!

You HAVE to wonder how those hammers are moving all on their own.

Useless dice fact #1: Dice rolling isn't just a fun activity in Las Vegas, Nevada, it's a way of LIFE!

I'm finally ready to write a more normal episode, that will hopefully help to set the tone for the rest of the season! Read on and see what it's about! / Sniz is standing on the re-built and re-furbished Steps Of Knowledge, and he says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Legends, there were 38 contestants left. Bubble Bass helped Spongebob discover something that Spongebob didn't even know about himself. Spongebob had been absorbing negative emotions all his life, and they were now starting to affect his personality! With Sandy's help, they were determined to help Spongebob manage his emotions more properly. Meanwhile, Bulma, in a state of desperation, decided that the only way to get Aang and Snaptrap out of the game, was for her to team up with Squidward and Yakety, and play a game of spying and subterfuge respectively! Sure enough, during the competition, Aang and Snaptrap TRIED to eliminate the middlemen, and go STRAIGHT for the unspeakable, trying to KILL Spongebob! But when Aang, being possessed by Master Coelaceanth, decided to BREAK Spongebob's favorite net, that's when all sense of Spongebob's self-restraint broke loose, and he LITERALLY transformed into a Super Saiyan 2! Is there no end to Spongebob's hidden surprises? Thankfully, Bubble Bass prevented Spongebob from killing Aang, by declaring that Bubble Bass, LOVED Spongebob! I would NEVER have saw THAT coming! Ultimately, Master Coelaceanth was FINALLY done in for good, when Master Coelaceanth decided to eject himself from Aang, and accidentally wound up projecting himself into one of Chameleon's transformations, a SOUL Destroying Device! To everyone's shock, Master Coelaceanth decided to commit a spiteful suicide, RATHER than accept help from Spongebob! So much for the evil fish! For the crimes they committed, Aang and Snaptrap were both eliminated via ejection, and booted from the game together. Now there are only 36 contestants left. Master Coelaceanth may be gone, but the other contestants will still have to face off against each other, as two more contestants will have to face elimination by the end of today!" Olmec says: "And in my re-built and re-furbished state, I'm ready to face anything!" Sniz says: "Tell it like it is, Olmec, see what happens today, on Total Cartoon Legends!" / Instead of the normal show open, a sepia-toned comic book slideshow shows an illustrated version of Spongebob's fight with Master Coelaceanth, set to Jim Croce's "You Don't Mess Around With Jim". / Jim Croce sings: "Uptown got its hustlers, the bowery got its bums. 42nd Street got Big Jim Walker, he's a pool-shootin' son of a gun. Yeah, he big and dumb as a man can come, but he stronger than a country horse! And when the bad folks all get together at night, you know they all call big Jim 'Boss', just because! And they say, 'You don't tug on Superman's cape; you don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger, and you don't mess around with Jim!' Well outta south Alabama come a country boy, he said, 'I'm lookin' for a man named Jim, I am a pool-shootin' boy, my name's Willie McCoy, but down at home they call me Slim. Yeah, I'm lookin' for the king of 42nd Street, he drivin' a drop top Cadillac. Last week he took all my money, and it may sound funny, but I come to get my money back!' And everybody say, 'Hey Jack; don't you know you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger, and you don't mess around with Jim!' Well, a hush fell over the pool room. Jimmy come boppin' in off the street, and when the cuttin' was done, the only part that wasn't bloody, was the soles of the big man's feet, ooh. And he was cut in about a hundred places, and he was shot in a couple more; and you better believe they sung a different kind of story when big Jim hit the floor now. They say you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger and you don't mess around with Slim! Yeah, big Jim got his hat, find out where it's at! And it's not hustlin' people strange to you, even if you do got a two-piece custom-made pool cue. Yeah you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger, and you don't mess around with Slim!" / And the epic song and montage ends! / "The Legend Of The Golden Fleece!" / Blonda is in her trailer, and she's waiting for someone to come in. There's a knock on her door, and she asks: "Is that my HUSBAND?" Bubble Bass says: "Yes, but I don't see why--." Blonda yells: "Come in!" Bubble Bass quickly does so. Blonda sits on her bed and PRETENDS to think for a few seconds. Finally, Blonda says: "Bubble Bass, I consider myself a REASONABLE woman! You DO understand that I could've picked ANYBODY to be my husband and a father to OUR child; but I picked you. Do you want to know why that is?" Bubble Bass answers: "Because of my interesting personality?" Blonda says: "Interesting answer, but no! We BOTH know WHY I picked you! Furthermore, I thought you had it where it REALLY counts! That your mind would never wander, and that you would ALWAYS be devoted to me!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, that's a funny thing to say, because you sure DON'T seem to be devoted to me! The only thing YOU can say is that you're MARRIED to me!" Blonda says: "And I gave up my immortality to YOU! Doesn't that MEAN something?!" Bubble Bass says: "Of COURSE it means something! But you got to admit, it does seem strange that you WON'T let me LIVE with you, and you don't WANT our son to let him know that I AM his father! So honestly, what am I supposed to MAKE of that?! You want ME to be loyal to you, yet you expect to believe that I'll just accept the same thing from YOU, when I don't even get to LIVE with you?! Who's being more unfaithful?!" Blonda scornfully says: "I haven't dated ONE other guy since I married you!" Bubble Bass asks: "Than why do you sound so full of resentment just now?! I can read emotions to, you know! I don't know WHY you're so upset! All I did was said that 'I love Spongebob', one time. ONE TIME!!!!" Blonda asks: "And how COULD you love him?! What has he EVER done for YOU?!" Bubble Bass answers: "Besides saving us ALL from Master Coelaceanth's wrath? And you know, he might not have DONE that if I hadn't hugged him!" Blonda asks: "You HUGGED him?!" Bubble Bass says: "It's not what it SOUNDS like! Spongebob needed to understand his emotions, and hugging his emotions into a Bubblebob copy--." Blonda asks: "Did YOU make a Bubblebob copy?!" Bubble Bass blushes, and sheepishly says: "Okay. I can understand how when taken out of context, it seems rather...awkward." Blonda haughtily says: "I'm SURE you have a good explanation for that!" Bubble Bass says: "I just wanted to help him. You know, be the good guy." Blonda asks: "And what do you know, about being a good guy?" Bubble Bass says: "Before this season, I thought I knew a lot. But, what I've learned recently, there is a difference between wanting and THINKING that you're a good guy, and actually being one! And...when I hugged Spongebob, it's like I FINALLY understood what that difference was! More important than your actions or your reasons, the reason why you SHOULD be good, is that Good FEELS good!" Blonda asks: "And you got that from ONE hug with Spongebob, as opposed to more than nine months with ME?!" Bubble Bass says: "What do you MEAN, 'Nine months with you?' You wouldn't even go out in PUBLIC or LET anybody SEE you during those nine months! It's like you were ASHAMED to be my wife, or be an expectant mother!" Blonda says: "Did you WANT me to be HUMILIATED by every single tabloid paper in the country?! Let alone, the world?!" Bubble Bass says: "Come on! As a celebrity, surely you've been through worse!" Blonda honestly says: "Perhaps. But, I don't think anything has cut me more than what you've just admitted!" Bubble Bass says: "I'm not even sure what that means! You don't think that I WOULD leave you for Spongebob, do you?" Blonda says: "He's more famous than me, and you KNOW it!" Bubble Bass says: "I don't LIKE him because of his fame, or his money! When I LIKE somebody, I like them BECAUSE of their personality!" Blonda asks: "What is THAT supposed to mean?!" Bubble Bass says: "I didn't mean ANYTHING by that! It's just that...until recently, I thought I had Spongebob all figured out; that he was an immature, naive, potentially incompetant man-child who knew only how to be happy and annoying. But now that I've seen that he HAS other emotions, and he's not as simple as I once thought, it's made me re-think everything about him!" Blonda asks: "And what DO you think about him?" Bubble Bass honestly says: "I...I'm not sure. All I know is, Sandy didn't know how to help him, and I did! Spongebob never had a REASON to grow up and mature before I helped him; and now, he's finally starting to do that! That's a really big DEAL for him! He could USE some help to get him adjusted to handling his emotions properly, and I think I can do that!" Blonda asks: "And do you WANT to do that?" Bubble Bass says: "Spongebob was willing to help Master Coelaceanth, even after everything he did. What kind of man would I be if I didn't exchange the same courtesy to him?" Blonda says: "I'm NOT going to answer that!" Bubble Bass says: "I wasn't expecting you to." Blonda says: "And I suppose nothing I can say will change your mind about that, can I?" Bubble Bass says: "That depends. What are you THINKING of saying?! Because I think I have a RIGHT to know before I make any other decisions!" Blonda sighs, and says: "The old 'Appeal to Logic' play. SO typical of you! And yet I can't help but LOVE you for that! FINE! Help...Spongebob deal with his emotions if you must!" Bubble Bass says: "Thank you, Blonda! I KNEW you'd see the logical side of this!" Blonda says: "But just remember, I don't expect this to be a PERMANENT thing! Once Spongebob has gained proper control over every single conceivable emotion...!" Bubble Bass asks: "What?" Blonda REALIZES she hadn't yet THOUGHT about what she could over Bubble Bass, and she struggles, and says: "If you do that and come back to me...I'll...let Rube Goldfish know you're his father!" Bubble Bass says: "Thanks, Blonda. That's all I wanted." Blonda says: "Yeah, I'm a REAL peach and CATCH, aren't I?!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh, I SEE what you did there!" (Confessional) Blonda says: "I'm...not used to feeling ACTUAL emotions! When I was an immortal fairy, it didn't matter HOW I felt or how I behaved! Mostly because I knew that if I did ANYTHING that wasn't considered proper behavior, it would ALL be forgotten about eventually! But now that I have a finite life-span and I have to actually CONSIDER my actions and emotions, everything has gotten more...complicated! I'm not USED to sharing! It's a REALLY foreign concept to me! But; I don't want to end up like Snaptrap and Kaput! I want to be in this for the LONG haul! It looks like Spongebob isn't the ONLY one who needs to understand and handle their emotions! But if Bubble Bass is going to help Spongebob, who is supposed to help ME?! I...didn't mean to make it come sounding off THAT way! I'm...still getting used to this whole 'Emotion' thing." / Bubble Bass says: "Seeing as how I already won last season, my biggest challenge for this season was trying to find a purpose for competing in this one. I just never thought that would come from wanting to help Spongebob! And being around him, it's made me realize that I actually CARE about whether or not he lives or dies! I guess...maybe that's what I meant when I said that 'I love him'. I don't think he's fragile and weak...at least, not anymore. I just...feel like I'm the right guy who can help him. I guess this is what some people would call the 'Good Samaritan' syndrome, even though I HARDLY think that's a BAD thing to be!" (End Confessional) Meanwhile, Spongebob and Sandy are in their hotel room. Sandy asks: "Spongebob, I have to ask, what do you think Bubble Bass meant when he said, 'I love you'?" Spongebob sighs, and he says: "Sandy, I honestly don't know. Until recently, I was trying to go through life the same way I always had. Just a happy, simple, carefree sponge who never had to worry about everything. But now, finding out that I have other emotions that I will sometimes NEED to express, and be able to handle such situations in a proper manner, I realize that I can't go back to being the sponge that so many others took advantage of. I'm not saying I'm going to stop caring for you OR the kids! I could NEVER do that; I just need to be able to assess things properly!" Sandy says: "Wow, Spongebob! You really have changed!" Spongebob says: "Sometimes, change is neccessary. And...I don't know how I feel about Bubble Bass loving me. You...don't think it's a bad thing, do you?" Sandy says: "Of course I don't! As long as it's a healthy love! Do you think it's healthy?" Spongebob says: "From what I know about Bubble Bass, he's always been logical, practical, and pragmatic. And generally speaking, he's a pretty good judge on the whole 'Risk to Reward' Ratio; and even if it doesn't always pan out, he at least always make sure to follow through to it's proper conclusion. Besides, his love for me doesn't change my love for you. I think we should give Bubble Bass a chance." Outside the door, Bubble Bass asks: "You really want to give me a chance?!" Sandy says: "It's just like 'Beetlejuice', we said his name one too many times!" Spongebob says: "Or it's just synchronicity! I'm a really big believer in that! You can come in!" Bubble Bass does so, and Sandy asks: "How long have you been out there?" Bubble Bass says: "The first thing I heard, was you responding to Spongebob about how he felt about what I said the other day." Sandy says: "Well, you got to admit, it seems kind of a strange thing to say, given the situation between us, and you with Blonda." Bubble Bass says: "Well, Blonda won't be a problem. She's letting me teach Spongebob how to handle his emotions properly, until he can master that on his own." Sandy asks: "What do you mean by, 'Letting you'? You had to get PERMISSION from her?!" Bubble Bass says: "She's my wife! What was I SUPPOSED to do?! NOT run it by her?! That would be wrong!" Spongebob says: "He DOES have a point, Sandy!" Sandy says: "Fair enough. But, I have to know; what did you mean, when you said that, 'You love Spongebob'?" Bubble Bass says: "Well, I needed to remind him, that no matter how he may feel at any given moment, he's not the only one who's ever felt that way. Others have felt that way to. Possibly...there were moments in the past were I felt confused and alone, and I didn't have someone like me to help me process those feelings. I didn't want Spongebob to have to go through that alone the way I did. I...didn't mean to come between you and Spongebob." Sandy, after giving it some thought, says: "Well, I can understand that. Of course, I can't exactly come to a decision right away. This is a lot to take it. You have to give me some time, I need to make the decision that's right for me." Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "Understandable. No sense rushing into something if you don't have to." (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "First off, I personally, have NEVER understood what others meant when they said the expression, 'Opening a can of worms', before. In the first place, worms just don't TASTE that good, even by FISH standards! I mean, how could you EXPECT to eat something that eats DIRT as it's primary diet staple?! Second, there are MANY other things a fish can eat! But, I do understand what the expression means now! I'm not sure WHAT I was thinking; that I could just say, 'I love Spongebob', and not expect my wife AND Sandy to not take that information personally! I honestly didn't mean anything by it...except for trying to help Spongebob! Sometimes...love is a complicated emotion, even if it involves loving someone like a friend." / Spongebob says: "Ever since I was first old enough to work at the Krusty Krab, I always felt like the only way I was going to be a truly great employee, is if EVERYONE who worked with me LIKED me! I thought that if I just liked EVERYONE hard enough, that it would get even SQUIDWARD to like me! But, now that I'm able to understand and experience emotions properly, I think I have to face the fact that such a thing is never going to be! I can't force Squidward to like me, and I'm going to have to accept that! But, I CAN accept the fact that Bubble Bass LOVES me, and nobody made him do that at ALL! He CHOSE to love me, all on his own! And I don't think his love for me, takes away from my love for Sandy; it could only ADD to it! But, I can see how Sandy can't just come to a decision like that! This is just as much HER decision as mine, and I need to respect her decision, no matter WHAT that might be!" / Sandy says: "If I had known that asking Bubble Bass to help Spongebob, would cause Bubble Bass to discover that he LOVED Spongebob, I might have asked someone else to help! But as it is, he chose to make that decision all on his own! Now, it's my decision as to what I'm going to do with that news. I don't know how Bubble Bass would fit into our lives! I mean, I know that Spongebob could interact with Bubble Bass just fine, he's had several opportunities to do so! On the other hand, I personally don't know Bubble Bass that well! I don't want to act from a defensive position! I mean, Stimpy TRIED a polyamorous relationship once, and it ended with Ren doing a schizophrenic FREAK-OUT and ruining their friendship/marriage! Granted, I don't think Bubble Bass has that problem, but I just need to get to know Bubble Bass first, before I make any decisions. That's the best decision that I can make right now." (End Confessional) Meanwhile, at the trailers for the Silver Snakes, and the Blue Barracudas, Bulma Briefs is sitting pretty, admiring her Immunity Pendant Of Life! Bulma says: "Well, guys, girls, and ZIM, it looks like Lady Luck is FINALLY starting to smile on us! Soon, EVERYTHING is going to go our way!" Taotie says: "We got RID of Aang and Snaptrap, that doesn't mean we're out of the woods yet!" Bulma says: "Well, I think YOUR problem stems from the fact, that you CAN'T see the forest through the TREES! Yes, there are a LOT of them! But, if you take the time to make a mark of each one, and stick to one path, you can find your way out of ANY forest! And, I am an EXPERT at getting out of sticky situations!" Daggett says: "Don't remind us, like you've done the last HALF a dozen times, MINIMUM!" Bulma says: "I'm NOT being stuck-up about it! Besides, we've LOST the last four challenge! I would THINK that you would WANT our team to win, just as much as I do!" Zim says: "As much as I hate being NOT referred to as a 'Guy', she DOES have a point!" Bulma says: "And let's not forget, we've got Heffer and Yakety on our team now. We are a brand NEW breed of Silver Snakes! And I believe we CAN prevail, if we STOP bickering among ourselves, and actually WORK together as a team!" Heffer says: "Right on!" Yakety says: "And I just want you to know, that I intend to be a fully valuable member of this team! You can count on me for just about anything!" Bulma smiles coyly, and says: "That's EXACTLY what I'm counting on!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "Daggett Beaver is STUPID and disposable, Zim is CHAOTIC and unpredictable, Kitty is...well, she's the token good team-mate! Heffer is HORRIBLY fat and out of shape, Blonda...I couldn't care for LESS! Taotie is being surprisingly logical, more so than the LAST time we were on a team together! I'll have to keep an eye on him for that! But Yakety? He's decided to step up to the plate all on his own! I guess if I HAD to take someone to the Final Three with me, he'd HAVE to be my go to guy, or yak, as the case may be! I'll have to figure out a way to get ZARBON out of the game before that point, and I don't think Chameleon will help weaken him AGAIN! If I can just figure out something Zarbon ISN'T good at, I can use that against him! Until than, I've got a LOT of cannon fodder I can feed into the sacrificial fire, and, being the SMARTEST of ALL my team-mates, I'll be able to figure out WHERE to find a hidden Immunity Pendant first! NOBODY is going to get the drop on me THIS season!" / Daggett says: "Of course I'm suspicious of Bulma! How could I NOT be?! With Aang and Snaptrap gone, I'm probably the HIGHEST on Bulma's personal hit list, along with Zim and Heffer! And worst of all, I'm actually trying to PLAY the game, not like SOME of the LOSERS that populated our team! But if Bulma thinks she can just brush me to the side, she's wrong! Norbert and Treeflower aren't the ONLY competant beavers! I'll PROVE that I can play the game, just as well as they can!" / Yakety says: "I just want to state that when I told Bulma that she could count on me for just about anything, I meant ANYTHING that was legal and ethical! Carving that Fake Immunity Pendant was a one time deal! She's NOT going to get me to do THAT again!" / Taotie says: "I have to be logical! The last time I was in this competition, I didn't PLAY the game logically, and I got eliminated by Tigress for all my trouble! But, if I stay in control of my emotions, and don't try to take any shortcuts the way I used to, I think I can make it pretty far this season! I just need to outlast Bulma, and than, I can focus on the REST of the competition!" (End Confessional) Sniz rings a gong, and over the loud-speakers, he announces: "Just a reminder, contestants; Aang and Snaptrap were eliminated via ejection in the last episode! Please report to the Moat to hear about today's legend! That is all!" Treeflower says: "One thing is for sure, now with Aang and Snaptrap gone, the REST of this season should be smooth sailing!" Otto says: "You WISH! You'd have to outlast ME in this competition FIRST, and we all know that you've NEVER done that before!" Treeflower says: "First time for anything, athlete!" Judy says: "All I know is that when it comes to acting DRAMATICALLY, first and foremost, I win against ALL of you!" Stimpy asks Gerald: "Do YOU know what she's talking about?!" Gerald says: "I'm LUCKY I'm still as sane as I am, given all the craziness that we've ALREADY been through!" Stimpy says: "You said it!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "I'm looking forward to the day that I PERSONALLY send Otto home! I can't WAIT to mark HIS tally for elimination!" / Otto says: "Treeflower will NEVER send me home! Most of this season is an ATHLETIC challenge! And we all know that with a few exceptions, there are no contestants who are more athletic than I am! I just have to get rid of the competition first, than I will DOMINATE!" / Judy sighs and says: "Nobody seems to be appreciating the FINE, dramtic piece of work that IS, Judy Funny!" / Gerald says: "Hanging out with Arnold is one thing. But this game show? A totally DIFFERENT experience entirely! Hopefully, I'll be able to make the most of it!" / Stimpy says: "With Haggis gone, I have to face the fact that I'll need to form an alliance if I'm going to get far in this game. Treeflower is OUT of the question! Spongebob could work; I'm not sure about Darwin; Marlene is a must; I definitely got to work with Dog again! I'm not sure if I can get Super Chum, Keswick, or Po; and Wally would be a good fourth vote! With the five of us, I think we can handle just about anything!" (End Confessional) The contestants suit up into their team colors, and line up at the moat! Sniz says: "Welcome to a re-built, re-furbished, and slightly revamped set! It's time for another challenge on Total Cartoon Legends! Thankfully, the Temple has now been built to withstand Avatar levels of strength, so it can handle just about anything! Hopefully, you'll be able to do so as well! And just remember, after today's challenge, two more of you will be voted off in the Mine Cart of Shame! But first, we need to hear about today's legend! Olmec, tell us what today's legend is!" Olmec says: "Today's legend is, the Legend of the Golden Fleece!" Sniz says: "All right, so here is how today's challenge is going to work! In Ancient Greek times, the Greeks would often pray to their many Gods for good weather and good fortune! In today's challenge, one set of contestants will be the rowers, the other set of contestants will control the weather! On either end of the stage, we have two large weather fans, to simulate the power of the Gods. These fans will control how much speed the rowers will get! Give too much speed, and the contestants might fall off the boat and have to start over! Of course, if you don't give enough, they might not finish fast! Once the first batch of contestants gets across, they must blow their boat back across the moat, so that the other batch can get across! Once everyone gets across, they will ring their gong to indicate that they have finished! Remember, where you finish, will determine which team you play with! Green Monkeys, you have two more contestants than the Silver Snakes, so you'll have to sit two members out." Treeflower says: "Oh, we don't NEED to discuss this, we're sitting Darwin and Dog out!" Dog asks: "Why are you sitting out ME?! I actually WON season two!" Treeflower says: "Only by dumb luck, and dumb luck only gets you so far!" Spongebob says: "But Dog is my friend!" Treeflower says: "Oh...just be thankful that I didn't decide to sit YOU out!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "A GOOD contestant can sense a weak link, before even THEY can sense it themselves! Now, I might have made an error with Spongebob. But Darwin and Dog; they won't make it to the team merge AGAIN! I'll make SURE that doesn't happen!" / Spongebob says: "You better believe it when I say that Treeflower's underestimating of other contestants is going to cost her big someday!" / Dog says: "I think Treeflower has spent too MUCH time away from the competition! She's forgotten how to be a good sport! Her loss!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas, you'll both have to sit out one member as well." Sandy says: "I'll sit this one out, I need to see how BUBBLE BASS performs in a competition of this nature!" Bubble Bass asks: "Seriously?!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Never saw Sandy take an interest in me before, so I guess I better perform at my best!" / Sandy says: "You can tell a lot about another guy/girl/being by the way they behave in a competition. We'll see what happens when the chips are down, and they have to play for all of the marbles!" (End Confessional) Fee says: "I'll sit this one out. I finally got my hair to look the way I want it to, and I don't want to ruin it." Harvey says: "Don't worry, Fee! I'll row TWICE as hard for the both of us!" (Confessional) Harvey says: "You probably don't know HOW much work Fee has to put INTO her hair! But the end result? It's ALWAYS worth it!" / Fee says: "You got to admire a guy who's willing to work hard so YOU don't have to!...Uh, THAT came out wrong!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Everybody into their positions, and let's get this challenge started!" Larry extends his claw to Taotie, and Larry says: "Hey, may the best man win!" And Taotie simply says: "HMMPH!" Larry says: "Oh, so it's going to be like THAT, is it?! FINE!" (Confessional) Larry says: "This is why NOBODY wants to work with the Silver Snakes team! They don't know the FIRST thing about friendships!" / Taotie says: "It's a simple matter of principle. I may not be an outright bad guy anymore, but I REFUSE to be anymore good than I have to be! I have more dignity than that!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Than on your mark, get set, GO!!!!" And the Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars both set off at a good pace, with a steady wind blowing, that helps them sail smoothly across, while the Blue Barracudas have a little difficulty adjusting the wind, and Bulma FIRST tries to blow the wind TOO fast, than too slow! Daggett says: "Bulma; I thought you were a GENIUS!!!!" Bulma says: "Yeah, but I'm NOT an omniglot! I can't READ these labels, they're all in RUSSIAN!" Pearl says: "In former Soviet Russia, you don't read labels, labels READ you!" Bulma says: "THANKS for the Yakov Schmirnoff reference!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "The girl knows old school comedy; I got to respect that!" / Pearl says: "I can thank my dad, General Barracuda, for introducing me to comedy from the 1980's! It might not have been my genre, but I still respect it!" (End Confessional) The first batch of contestants for the Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars get across! While the Red Jaguars blow their boat back at a reasonable speed, the Green Monkeys seem to be blowing their boat back at a PAINFULL slow speed! Treeflower, who's still WAITING to get across, stamps her feet impatiently, and she says: "Come on, come ON!!!! Faster, FASTER!!!! What's taking SO long to get that boat across?!" Spongebob, running the fan, simply says: "Insult, demean, and put down my fellow team-mates AGAIN, and we might NOT run the fan at ALL!" Treeflower angrily says: "D'OH!!!!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "I KNOW Spongebob is doing this on PURPOSE! He's trying to get back at me, just because I told the honest truth! He's trying to be IRRITATING to me, and it's WORKING!!!!" / Spongebob says: "If there's one thing I've learned, is that Good, does NOT have to be soft! I'm standing up for my team-mates, because Treeflower is clearly in the wrong!" (End Confessional) The Green Monkeys FINALLY get their boat across, but the Red Jaguars have already gotten in and are already getting across, while the Blue Barracudas have finally gotten THEIR first batch of contestants across to! Treeflower says: "It's about TIME! Come on! Let's WIN this thing!" Marlene asks: "And WHAT'S the magic word?" Treeflower screams: "NOW!!!!" Keswick says: "WRONG!!!!" Treeflower yells: "WHAT?!!!" Wally says: "The magic word is 'Please'!" Treeflower says: "I will NOT tell you, 'Please!' Little birds like Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce say 'Please'. Spongebob says, 'Please'. I'm pretty sure that even Tigress says 'Please'. Treeflower Fields does NOT say 'Please', when it refers to a group of LOSERS!!!!" Marlene says: "I'd WATCH what you say, because what you refer to as 'Losers', are currently in CHARGE of your fate! And lest YOU forget, Spongebob HAS the Immunity Pendant! But, if you want to WASTE a vote on HIM at the Elimination Ceremony, while HE has a free vote to send YOUR way, that's entirely YOUR choice, to!" Treeflower panics, and she says: "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP, you're RIGHT!!!! If we wind up at the Elimination Ceremony I could be DEAD! Or WORSE; eliminated HUMILIATED!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "How did I wind up at the bottom of the pecking list?! Mercury MUST be in retrograde!" / Marlene says: "It's NOT the planets, it's Karma!" / Wally says: "I've personally never HAD an opportunity to vote off Treeflower before. I wonder what it will FEEL like?" / Keswick says: "For someone who CLAIMS to be a genius, she's REMARKABLY short-sighted!" (End Confessional) Treeflower says: "Okay, fine! You're right, I'm wrong! Let's just say for the record, that 'I'm sorry', and NO, I will NEVER regard Darwin and Dog as being worthy of MY company!" Keswick says: "For NOW!" The Green Monkeys finally get into their boat, but the Red Jaguars have already punched in their gong, and the Blue Barracudas are starting to pull ahead, while the Silver Snakes have FINALLY gotten their first batch of contestants across, and are starting to send their boat back! Treeflower says: "We've GOT to make it! We CAN'T wind up with the Silver Snakes!" Bulma gets a sly look, and she asks: "Want to BET?!" And she turns her fan on the Green Monkeys boat, causing them to go TOO fast, and they ALL fall in, while the Blue Barracudas get across and ring their gong! Sniz says: "And it's over! For the first time this season, the Red Jaguars will be teamed up with the Blue Barracudas, and the Green Monkeys will be teamed up with the Silver Snakes! Green Monkeys, let's hope that you do a better job working with the Silver Snakes than the other teams have!" Bulma sarcastically says: "Yeah, because it would be a real shame to vote TREEFLOWER off, while I'm SAFE with the Immunity Pendant!" Treeflower scowls, and says: "I hope you die a long, slow, and very painful DEATH, Bulma!" Bulma scoffs, and says: "That is nice, so sorry YOU'LL never make that happen!" Sniz says: "We got to get everyone dried off, but don't go away, because we'll be right back with some more, of Total Cartoon Legends!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

I'll take the Caramel Apple Costume and the Happy Octopus Plush, please.

I'll try "Squidward Chat".

I'll take the "Wumpa Defender" glove (it's the only one I haven't tried yet).

Useless Twist Fact #4: 100% of all fighting moves are made more effective by SPINNING, even when made by someone like Dan Hibiki!

I wonder how long it will take for Paddington to realize that he's only using a TOY hammer?

First time I've ever seen anybody roll PRESENTS instead of dice!

I'll take the "4Kids" glove.

"The Silly Adventures Of Patrick Star", please.

Useless Twist Fact #3: You LITERALLY have to go to a basketball college and take at least a three course seminar on HOW to keep a basketball spinning for up to an hour before you can even THINK of joining the Harlem Globetrotters!