The Killer Krab

[Old Man Jenkins]

With CNF returning the rights to me, I've decided to bring this back in order to give it a definitive ending as only Jenk Man can! The Killer Krab is back with a full final season left in the tank. Sorta underwhelming premiere here, but I hope to get the usual KK vibe back by the next one. Enjoy, whoever's left of this fan base.

Chapter 16: Graveyard Shift

We pick back up where we last left off, the teenagers who won't leave Mr. Krabs, sole proprieter of the Krusty Krab, alone coming in and heckling him for jobs.

Teenagers: Alriiight, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs just stood there sweating buckets, unsure of just how much they have witnessed beforehand. He goes to hastily put his shovel in the freezer, where he usually puts it inconspicuously.

Mr. Krabs: So, how much did ye all see?

One of the teens, an orange fish with braces wearing a purple shirt, green shorts and a red baseball cap, breaks the silence for him and his friends.

Orange Teen: Dude, we saw you, like, bury a fry cook legend!

Mr. Krabs: Shhh! Not so loud, er...what's yer name?

Orange Teen: Danny

He motions towards his two friends.

Danny: And they're Katerina and Arnold.

Mr. Krabs contemplated simply killing these young whipper snappers and be done with any potential threat they may pose to him, but he figured he could appeal to the young people and bend them to his will instead.

Mr. Krabs: So, ye all be lookin fer employment in me fine establishment, are ye?

Danny: Dude, do we ever!

Katerina: It would be a great job opportunity for all of us, sir!

Mr. Krabs: I don't know, as ye all can prob'ly tell by now, I run a pretty tight ship to shape here! I don't just hire any Tom, Dick and Harry. Or Danny, Katerina and Arnold in her cases. There be a lot of people who would kill to work for me, how am I so sure ye all are well qualified to be in any position here at the Krusty Krab?

Just then, a lone bus pulled up outside the establishment and dropped off a lone passenger.

Mr. Krabs: I didn't know the buses ran at this hour.

The person looked both ways before crossing on over to the door, pressing it open with what looked to be a spatula for an arm. Mr. Krabs began to sweat even more as the person stepped through the door and into the light, revealing himself to be some nerdy guy.

Hervy: Can I have a job application? I brought my own spatula!

Just then, Danny, Katerina and Arnold all pounced on the potential nerdy applicant, beating him into the dirt of the graves that rested below the floor boards. Krabs merely looked on at what he helped incited inside these young people. The teens continued beating the poor nerd to a pulp before Krabs took out SpongeBob's spatula from his earlier struggle with him and dropped it to the ground next to Danny.

Mr. Krabs: That'll help ye.

Danny, awe-struck at being given a chance to hold his hero's, a fry cook legend's, spatula, grabbed it firmly with both hands. Mr. Krabs just continued looking on with dollar signs in his eyes for some greedy reason.

Danny: Alriiiiight, Mr. Krabs!

Danny took the spatula and impaled Hervy through the head with it, causing his life to come to a screeching end. The teens each looked please with themselves, as did Krabs.

Krabs: Aye lads, lets discuss the terms of yer contracts in me office.

Krabs led his new employees into his office, the door slamming shut behind them. Business would go on as usual as Krabs and the teens would later dump another body into the mass grave underneath the restaurant's floor.

[Old Man Jenkins]

Wanted to have this up for April Fools, but procrastination. Ya know. Enjoy!

Chapter 17: Spongeploitation

It had been a few days since Mr. Eugene Harold Krabs, sole proprietor of the Krusty Krab, hired his new, hip and so coral Krusty Krew. He had Danny and Arnold working the grills while Katerina wo-manned the register. Krabs deliberately had SpongeBob's body buried over on Shallow Grave Road with his head sticking out in order to make him easier for police to find. After about a month of thoroughly investigating the area, Bikini Bottom Police finally found his mildly decomposed square-shaped head on the side of the road.

Perch Perkins: Perch Perkins here, reporting LIVE just off of Shallow Grave Road, where local police has just found the body of something-something year-old champion fry cook, SpongeBob SquarePants, who has been missing for well over a month now. The scene has been described to me as pretty ugly and somewhat horrific, but we here at BBAN will show you it anyway because ratings. Bikini Bottom Action News, we bring the action straight to you!

Word of SpongeBob's death spread faster than barnacles. Everyone was affected by the loss of the town's most treasured fry cook, no longer able to subject their hearts to his attacks of fried foody goodness. Mr. Krabs, taking advantage of the town's grief, decided help fill the void in their arteries, and his pockets, by officially renaming the Krusty Krab the "Krusty Sponge" and SpongeBob quickly became the star attraction. Krustomers from far and wide arrived in droves, some even undertaking religious pilgrimage, just to pay their respects to the loyal fry cook by spending money, and even riding, on various things bearing his porous likeness.

Mr. Krabs: Come ride me Porous Express! Just five easy payments of just $2 per ticket!

Scooter: Duuuuude, that sounds AHAHAHAHAHAWWWWEEEEESOME!

A group of teenage squid girls are seen in the bathroom.

Osquivia: Ahah, oh dear Neptune below, it's like my time of the month to ink!

Mr. Krabs comes barging out one of the stalls, with a toilet seat cover stuck to his poop deck, with dollar signs in his eyes.

Mr. Krabs: Then might I be so old as to suggest, tada!

Mr. Krabs shows them one of those bathroom dispensers.

Mr. Krabs: The SpongeBoy Me Bob sponge fer all yer time of the month needs!

Esquizabeth: Grrl, you best hop on dat like yesterday!

Shanisqua: Mhmm!

Osquivia: How much are they?

Krabs: Just 75 cents! Yer first time is on the house.

Krabs puts his quarters in there, immediately pulls them back at using string, and out comes a yellow tampon with Spongebob's face on it. Osquivia puts it in her suction cup and it absorbs the discharging ink.

Osquivia: You are, like, so my lifesaver Mr. K!

She then inks from the rest of her suction cups.

Krabs: I forgot to mention they be 75 cents EACH! Ar ar ar ar ar ar!

He makes Osquivia pay for about hundreds more sponges and from then on, Krabs continued making more money and there were no health inspectors to stop him from selling his tainted brand of sponge patties because he killed the only health inspector both in town and around. Until one day, all the hoopla surrounding the post-SpongeBob craze finally stirred the curiosity of one man, one critic.

Mr. Krabs: Alright me lads! And me lass. Today, we be havin a very important player coming fer lunch this afternoon, and I want to make sure that he leaves and is taken cared of with utmost of care. The very future of the Krusty Sponge could be at stake!

Danny: Aaaaalright, Mr. Krabs, sir!

Mr. Krabs: Aye, lad! Aye.

The glass doors into the establishment suddenly swing open and a purple fellow with Elastic hair, glasses and what could either be his mouth or his chin steps foot into the restaurant.

Mr. Krabs: Mr. Gene Scallop sir, I mean ma'am- er I mean POOBAH! Oh! Grrrr, Danny! GIT OUT HERE!

Danny: Aaaaalright Mr. Krabs, I'm comin', I'm comin'.

Danny brings out a smorgasbord of some the Krusty Sponge's popular dishes, so just Sponge Patties.

Mr. Krabs: Thank ye, lad! Only the best fer Bikini Bottom's favorite restaurant-

Krabs turns back around to find that Gene Scallop has already left.

Mr. Krabs: aficionado? What the barnacle?!

The TV suddenly interrupts Mr. Krab's confused bewilderment in order to bring him this breaking news notice.

Realistic Fish Head: Good afternoon, Bikini Bottom! I am a realistic fish head, here to bring you this breaking review bulletin from our very own, Gene Scallop!

Gene Scallop: The Krusty Sponge, a fitting tribute or blatant exploitation? Ever since the untimely death of fry cook prodigy, SpongeBob Backsass SquarePants, Krusty Krab owner, Eugene Harold Krabs, has given the place a whole new paint job. Well, I stepped foot into the pigsty earlier today and I can tell you all this, it's a money mongering establishment looking to cash in and make a quick buck on someone I'm sure we all have some bipolar, changes with the wind, mixed feelings about. I implore each and everyone of you with anything close to a brain located in your skulls to stop it! Stop it...and stop putting your hard-earned money into this sweaty, old creep's pockets. Money that he'll only use as a mattress or to bathe in. It's as unsanitary as it sounds and don't think he upkeeps the place any better! Oh, and the food, you all might be wondering

News Spokesman: This has been BBAN BREAKING REVIEWS

Mr. Krabs grabs the remote from behind the cash counter and calmly turns off the TV. He grabs a few napkins from a dispenser on one of the tables, takes a seat and wipes some sweat from his armpits before furiously throwing the remote right at the TV, breaking the screen on contact.

Mr. Krabs: ARNOLD, KATERINA, GET OUT HERE!

Arnold & Katerina: Alriiiight, Mr. Krabs, sir!

Mr. Krabs: We be closing up shop a wee bit early tonight.

Arnold: Awesome!

Katerina: Yeah, Mr. K usually keeps us here 23 hours a day.

Mr. Krabs: But first, ye all will have to make a lil delivery fer me. Thirty minutes or less. Don't make it in time, I assure ye, it'll be yer poop decks on my wall!

The teenagers head off to make Old Man Krab's delivery. We then see the inside of the BBAN Studios.

Bob: Exemplary job on that review, Gene!

Gene: Mhm, thank you.

Barbara: Nice review, Genie Poo!

Gene: Thanks, how are ya?

Perch Perkins: Perch Perkins reporting live to Gene, to tell you job well done on that review! It spoke to me, deep within.

Gene: Yes, thanks.

Bob Flenny: Suck sea cucumber, Gene.

Gene: Thank you, likewise.

Gene exits the studio building and enters the multi-story boatpark. He takes out the keys to his boatmobile in order to get in and go.

???: Excuse me, kind sir!

Gene: Hmm, yes?

He turn around to see Katerina holding up a pizza box.

Katerina: Your Krusty Krab Pizza is here!

Gene: What? I didn't order any pizza.

Katerina: But Mr. Scallop, you are Gene Scallop, correct?

Gene: Hmm yes.

Katerina: We made this pizza special for you, baked to goodness to be hand delivered personally to you!

Gene: I can appreciate the tailfin kissing, but it'll take more than crap pizza to change my opinions on things. You can tell your boss that he can put that pizza where his mouth is because my money will not be going into his bed tonight-

Suddenly, two figures in burger suits with under suits beneath pounce from behind opposite boats and attack Scallop. Katerina lets out a yelp and runs out of the way as one of the burgers put Gene in a full nelson and the other burger lays punches into him. Gene manages to pull the burger holding him forward, making it eat one of the punches. Gene elbows back into the burger holding him and judo throws him into the second burger. The second burger lunges at Scallop with a barrage of punches but Gene blocks them all and lands a hard blow to what appeared to be the burger's abdomen before sending it flyin top bun first into the windshield of a boat. Scallop kicks the first burger down while it was getting back up to keep it grounded.

Katerina: Excuse me, sir?

Gene: Hmm, yes?

Katerina: This one's on the house!

She proceeds to knock the pizza box she was carrying right into Scallop's face. Scallop collapses to the ground, unconscious. The two patty suits recover and approach the downed Scallop and Katerina. They remove the burger parts of their suits and breathe in a breath of fresh Squidward.

Danny: Aaaalright, Katerina!

Arnold: Quick dudes, lets scoop this guy up and drop him off.

They pickpocket Scallop's keys, stuff him in the trunk of his own boat and drive off, with Katerina following close behind in the SpongeBob-themed pizza delivery car they had arrived in.

Hours later, Scallop awakens in a daze. He stirs around on the ground he laid to pick himself up, but only finds himself to be tied up nice and tight. Arnold runs up and kicks him while he's down.

Arnold: How the Davy Jones does that feel, ya old fart! Uhhh, no offense sir, Mr. Krabs, sir!

Gene: K-Kraaabs...?

Mr. Krabs None taken, Arnold boy, me old. Because now he knows your name too.

Arnold: Aw darn it.

Gene looks up around at his surrounding, above him was the starry, starry night sky. He knew he was at least outside.

Gene: Help. Heeeelp-

Arnold kicks him a few times again.

Krabs: Yell as high and mighty as ye like, genie, me boy. No one will ye.

Gene: W-Whats the meaning of this, Eugene?

Krabs: Ye know exactly damn well what the meaning of this is! I invite ye into me restaurant, in me own dojo, and he have the nerve to slander the house I worked hard to built! Years of me blood! Me sweat! Me tears! But-

Gene: But mostly your sweat, yes, you can reference the show. Now can we move this along?

Krabs: I'm giving ye a chance to make right of what you made wrong, boyo. A second chance to tell a review another day. All ye have to do is recant yer blasphemy and paint the Krusty Sponge in a much more positive light, positively light as the walls of me livin quarters! What do ye say?

Gene: You'll have to do better than that to change my opinion, Krabs.

Krabs: Sigh, aye lads! We have ourselves someone stickin to his guns. Lets just see how well he sticks to the ground.

Gene: What-

A choo choo could be heard coming from the distance.

Gene: W-Whats the Davy Jones is that?

Krabs: Oh, I be hearin a train a comin!

Gene attempts to sit up but Danny kicks him back down.

Danny: Lay back and relax, old man, alriiiiight?

Krabs: Tell me what I wanna hear.

Krabs motions for Arnold to kneel down and hold a tape recorder to Gene's mouth. The train could be heard coming closer, the sound of a familiar "DAHAHAHAHAHA DAHAHAHA!" accompanying it. The emanating from the front of the training shines brighter and brighter the closer and closer it gets. Gene began to sink back into his thoughts and began to question what he's been doing with his life, making a living based on nothing but reviewing restaurants for free food and rating them badly afterward just appease his own ego and stomach all because he couldn't cut it going all the way in the news biz, knowing full well someone with his physical features wasn't made to be on camera for more than five minutes at most. Gene would usually stand by his word til the bitter end, resulting in bridges being burned and being the reason why he went from reviewing on the Today Show to Bikini Bottom of all places. Throughout his entire career, he felt his position gave him power, the power to ruin others and make their lives more miserable than his. But this time, the first time ever, he felt absolutely powerless. Somebody has beaten him at his own game but the stakes, this time, are much, much higher.

Gene: The Krusty Sponge is a fine, clean, absolutely sanitary establishment! The leader of one the tightest knit crews I have ever witnessed at work, Mr. Eugene Harold Krabs, sole proprietor of the Krusty Krab, has proven himself capable to sail this ship to greater waters beyond the horizon that other restaurants dare not to tread. He cares about the well-being of each and every one of his employees, even after their services have long since been timed out, as seen with his treasured fry cook, SpongeBob SquarePants. There's the old saying, never to judge a book by its cover. I let that slip by me during my last review and I had to learn it the hard way. Things aren't always as they seem at first sight, but if you take time to really let it all in, get to know it, dig deep in the underbelly, of the crusty exterior, and you just might find something a little surprising you never could believe hidden underneath. And the food, oh, the food. It does. Not. Stink!

Arnold stops the recorder and hands it off to his boss.

Mr. Krabs: I thank ye kindly, Gene! I said I be willin to give ye a second chance to review another day. Dern shame it had to yer last.

Gene: But. But you said-

Scallop manages to let out a shriek as the SpongeBob train, at the peak of its volume and brightness, proceeds to run over him over. A loud SPLAT could be heard before the sound of the train's automated SpongeBob laughter echoed through the area. The train comes to a screeching halt, some of the train cars still covering the bloody mess where Scallop laid. Katerina comes out from the conductor's room at the front of the train. Krabs lets out a sigh.

Krabs: Ahhhh, the deed is done =)

Danny, Arnold & Katerina: Aaaaalright, Mr. Krabs!

[Old Man Jenkins]

Chapter 18: Pizza Man & Barnacle Boy

Only a day passed until word of Gene's death spread through town like crabs. Police had found his body, flattened, off of Shallow Grave Road. They ruled his death as vehicular manslaughter, the driver having high tailfinned out of the scene before anybody could arrive at the scene. This type of tragedy only happens when SpongeBob is anywhere near a motor vehicle, which baffled the good ole boys in blue. They found a tape of on Gene's person at the scene and passed it along to Bikini Bottom Action News. They determined it to be Gene's final restaurant review and against their better judgement, let it play on the air because ratings. Gene's final words showered praise toward the Krusty Sponge, which his colleagues found kind of strange since Gene never usually backtracks on his word, but nevertheless, the moneymaker for BBAN had passed and it was the rest of the news team's time to shine and through their media prowess, Gene became an afterthought by the day after that.

His last words would leave it's mark on the Krusty Krab though, as business was booming even more, everyone wanting a taste of what Gene lauded. You could say that business went on as usual at The Krusty Sponge, owned and operated by sole proprietor, Eugene Harold Krabs. The same familiar Eugene Harold Krabs who just struck familiar gold with a very familiar lucrative merchandising deal with two of the familiar town of Bikini Bottom's most familiar beloved.

Barnacle Boy: Listen here, sweaty, you have me and the old coot sold on this very familiar lucrative idea!

Mermaid Man: Re-introducing Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy to a whole new generation! Yes, it's good to be back!

Barnacle Boy: We're gonna be back, you old coot!

Mermaid Man: Who're you?

Mr. Krabs: Aye lads, and with these new Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy silly meal toys for the kiddies, I be savin more money on me water bill by bathin in more cold, hard cash! Everybody wins! Ar ar ar ar ar ar ar!

Barnacle Boy: Yeah, "ar ar ar" and all of that but we will be getting our cut of the profits, right?

Mr. Krabs: Cut? Who be sayin anyting bout a "cut", boyo?

Barnacle Boy: We're giving you rights to use our image for your merchandise, of course we expect cuts. It's not all about getting our names back out there, ya know. We're much too old to be in the superhero biz full time-

Mr. Krabs: I'm not quite sure just how old I am but I be in this business for about as long as me first dime goes back, which I be assumin is the dawn of time!

Barnacle Boy: We have bills to pay around the Mermalair too, ya know. All that crime fighting technology and do-dads and thingle-hoppers need to be running at all times.

Mr. Krabs: I ought to CUT YER HEART OU- arrr, of course ye two will be getting cuts, cross me heart and hope to see ye die.

Barnacle Boy: What?

Mr. Krabs: Just big business mumbo jumbo that ye need not worry about at this time! I tell ye what

Mr. Krabs opens his safe, pulls out a roll of hundreds and hands it off to Mermaid Man, himself.

Mr. Krabs: Here be yer cut, spend it on a nice night out on the meatloaf and broccoli lines, and I'll call ye both when I be needin yer services for the toy moldin.

Mermaid Man places the money in his pocket and sticks one index finger into the air.

Mermaid Man: TO THE MEATLOAF! AWAAAAAYYYYY!

Mermaid Man runs out of the office with youthful vigor while Barnacle Boy struggles to shuffle his feet after him.

Barnacle Boy: W-Wait up! Not too fast!

Krabs pulls back on a string he had tied around his claw, revealing the other end to have been tied around the roll of hundred that just gave MM & BB. He reels the money back onto his desk and puts it back in his safe.

Mr. Krabs: Ar ar ar ar! What a couple of coots.

Suddenly, Danny came barging into his office, uninvited.

Danny: Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: Yes?! Yes?! Yes?!

Danny: Arnold! Arnold! Arnold!

Mr. Krabs: Out with it boy, I don't charge ye to stutter!

Danny: Arnold was, like, totally out delivering some Krusty Krab pizza full-on blasting Ned and the Needlefish and whatnot when this Pizza Piehole car totally careened in and drove him off the road, messin up both him and the pizzas bruh!

Mr. Krabs: Not the pizzas! NOOOOO! And what of the customer?

Danny: Like, he didn't make it on time, yo. Pizza Pete totes beat him to it.

Mr. Krabs: WHAT?! That's me money drivin off with him!

Danny: Arnold just suffered a few lacerations and sprain, thanks for like, wonderin-

Mr. Krab: Danny, me boy, a good employee like Archibald are a dime a dozen. What can't be replaced is dollar dollar bills, y'all! I know, I've tried and I got slapped with counterfeitin charges fer it.

Danny: Aaaalright, Mr. Krabs. Then what do you suggest we, like, do yo?

The phone began to ring near the register.

Mr. Krabs: That must be another order, ar. Tell ye what, you and Katerina go handle that. I'll deal with Pizza Pete personally.

Danny: But sir-

Mr. Krabs: That be a direct order, boy. Now GIT before yer fired!

Danny: Alright, Mr. Krabs, sir!

Danny ran out to the cash counter. Krabs got on his shellphone and dialed a number in.

Mr. Krabs: Hello, is this Pizza Piehole...

About ten minutes later, Danny and Katerina had the pizza all prepped up and ready to go. They peeled out in the Krusty Sponge delivery vehicle as Mr. Krabs waited patiently in his office. About ten more minutes after that, another delivery vehicle pulled in, the placard on the boat saying "Pizza Piehole". A male fish in a pizza costume emerged from the car with a box of pizza in hand. He looked up to see that his destination was the rival Krusty Sponge.

Pizza Pete: What?! This can't be right, stupid GPS.

He imputed the coordinates for his delivery again.

GPS: You have reached your final destination.

Pizza Pete: Just what the Davy Jones is up with this?

He slammed and locked his door before entering the premises.

Pizza Pete: Hello? Your Pizza Pieholes are here, asshole

Mr. Krabs: I'm in me office! Come on in!

Pizza Pete cautiously made his way to Mr. Krab's office door and peered inside to see Krabs there, staring and waiting for him to come in, which he eventually worked up the courage to do.

Pizza Pete: Look Krabs, I don't know what kinda angle you're luring at here, but I know you're never one to spend your precious money on other eatery's products. Just what is this about?

Krabs: I can't treat me crew to something different fer once? Oh Pizza Pete, do get over yerself. Ye know that I don't see ye as competition! But from I've heard from the grapevine as of late, ye sure as Davy Jones sure would like to take on the fast food champeen around these parts, boyo. Now, I know a lil competition can be good fer business. I mean, look at how much the Chum Bucket's failures have caused me restaurant to blossom. But Plankton, he took things a wee bit too far. And I hear ye be hittin it a lil bit too close to home too.

Pete: Hey, you brought this on yourself, Krabs. Just who the flying barnacle do you think you are, trying to peddle your cheap knockoff pizza in this town, MY town?! You don't see me trying to pull a Domino's and sell sandwiches! It's a lil something called fast food integrity, Eugene, something you obviously lack for someone so "business-minded"!

Krabs: Aye, but alas. We are what we are. It's called expansion-

Pete: I know damn well what that is! Remember Pizza Castle and how they thought they could rule over the other chains? Well, look where they're at now, assimilated into the Piehole.

Krabs: Ye tried takin out one of me crew-

Pete: You tried taking away my business! An eye for an eye in our line of work, Krabs. You should know this by now.

Krabs: Aye, eye for an eye.

Krabs wiggles around one his claws, moving a string tied around and using it to shut his office door closed and lock it. He then lunged at Pizza Pete and clamps his claws around his neck. Pete drops the pizzas he was carrying and tries fight back with some futile punches and eye pokes, but Krabs remained relatively unharmed. His hold grew tighter and tighter, Pete quickly began to lose consciousness before falling to the ground completely.

Meanwhile, out on the road, Danny and Katerina finally reach their destination uninterrupted. They exit the vehicle with pizza in hand and walk to the front door of the residence. Katerina rings the doorbell. A red, slightly overweight fish answered the door.

Katerina: Your Krusty Krab Pizza is here, sir!

Red Fish: Thanks, I've been waiting forever for one of these! I called one in before but I only got Pizza Pieholes, those pompous pieholes over there can take their pizza and shove it where the moon hits your eye, ya know what I'm sayin?

Katerina: Sure thing, dude, that'll be $10.50 plus tips. Plural.

Red Fish: Sure thing, sunshine- Hey, wait a minute. Where's my drink?

Katerina: Your drink, sir?

Red Fish: My Diet Dr Kelp? Don't tell me you forgot my drink! Gene said you give impeccable service? Well I ain't buyin!

The customer attempted to slam the door in their faces, but Danny holds the open.

Danny: your drink, dude? That's all you want's, a drink?

Red Fish: Look, kid, I'm not paying for an incomplete order! Now get going before I put in a bad call about your driving.

Katerina: No offense, dude, but drinking diet soda with a fucking pizza aint gonna help that waistline.

Red Fish: And just who do you punks think you're getting off at here?!

Katerina: If you really want to drop those lbs, you'll have to

Katerina slides a pizza knife out from under her sleeves and rolls it along the customer's gut, cutting deep into him.

Katerina: Cut out all the junk food!

Red Fish: GAH!

Danny kicks him in the gut for added measure, causing some blood and guts to spill out, kicking him back inside the house. They trot in their way into the house and shut the door behind them. All that could be hear then was the customer's cries for help and then a SPLAT before the abode fell into dead silence. Danny and Katerina would leave the home about twenty minutes later, having looted whatever they deemed valuable inside along with the customer's wallet.

Danny: Aaaalright, the deed is done-a-mundo =)

Katerina: It's not, like, as eerie when you say it, ya dip.

Danny's shellphone rang and he answered.

Danny: Hellomundo! This is the Krusty Sponge, home of the world famous-

Mr. Krabs: Can it, boy, or yer fired! I'm callin in a lil business meetin with all the crew. We have a lil "negotiation" goin on at the Pizza Piehole. Pray follow, me boyos.

Krabs hung up.

Katerina: If he keeps referring to me as a boy, Pizza Pete won't be the only one who'll totally be kissing his eye goodbye like a big pizza pie.

They both get back into their boatmobile and speed off to their next destination.

[Cha]

"cross me heart and hope to see you die" I laughed. I liked how you kept this spin-off going by adding the teenager employees. Pretty clever.