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Posted

And now the moment some of you including me have been waiting for: The second part of my spin-off pilot! :D

(Open to the Chum Bucket. Plankton, now fully recovered, is putting the finishing touches to a shiny new Imitation Krabs.)

Plankton: Imagine it, Karen. A perfect enemy with Krabs' love of justice and hatred of me multiplied by 100! (giggles) I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

Karen: You need help, Plankton.

Plankton: No. (jumps on a wrench) What I need is a hand with this wrench!

(Karen sighs, extends her robotic arm, and pushes the wrench, crushing Plankton before he has a chance to jump off.)

Plankton: (stuck to the hand) WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER?

Karen: (shakes Plankton off) You said you wanted a hand.

Plankton: Ugh! Whatever! Not even you can ruin this perfect day... (holds up the test tube) Because as of now, I once again have a purpose!

(Plankton opens a door on Imitation Krabs' back and puts the DNA into it. He closes the door then presses a button nearby it.)

Imitation Krabs: (starting up) Ahoy, mateys.

Plankton: Yes! You see, Karen, this Krabs, unlike the original Krabs, will challenge my intelligence!

Karen: Oh, so it'll take you more than 20 years to defeat this one?

Plankton: (mocking) Oh, so it'll take you mur mur mur SHADDUP!

Imitation Krabs: Sir, does your name happen to be Sheldon J. Plankton?

Plankton: Why, yes, my creation, it does!

Imitation Krabs: Good. That is all I needed to know. (turns hand into rocket and shoots Plankton with it)

Plankton: (turning into ashes) I am genius!

Imitation Krabs: (looks up at Karen) Missus, do you happen to know a place where I can fill my oil tank?

Karen: They have plenty of it down the street in that abandoned food shack.

Imitation Krabs: (nods) Thank you.

(Imitation Krabs rolls out of the Chum Bucket and literally breaks through the Krusty Krab doors. The policeman from earlier in the episode runs into the CB and points his gun at Karen again.)

Policeman: Alright! This time I know I heard something! Don't try to deny it! I'm taking you both i-

(A mechanical fist punches the officer's lights out. Another hand picks him up while the other flicks him off into the horizon.)

Karen: Well, that was unexciting.

(The mechanical hands sweep Plankton's ashes into a pan and pours the ashes into a recycling bin. Plankton jumps out of the bin in his normal form.)

Karen: So, how does it feel to see another plan fail?

Plankton: Fail? That was my greatest fight ever! I still have adrenaline running through my tiny veins! This plan was a complete success! (laughs maniacally) Hey, where did Imitation Krabs go?

Karen: I pointed him to the Krusty Krab so he could fill his oil tank.

Plankton: Good, good. You can't fight the bad guy on an empty stomach. Or tank. Or something.

(Cut to the Krusty Krab kitchen. Imitation Krabs finishes sucking the grease out from the fryer.)

Imiation Krabs: (looks around) Hey. This place is not half bad. I could make a use from it.

(Cut back to the Chum Bucket. Plankton is chewing on a chum nugget mindlessly when he hears an explosion.)

Plankton: What was that?

(Plankton jumps up to the window and notices a large crater in the place of the Krusty Krab's closed sign.)

Plankton: A large crater? In the place of the Krusty Krab's closed sign? What in Neptune's name is going on? (looks at watch) AND WHERE IS THAT STUPID ROBOT?

Karen: Instead of yelling at the window, how about you just find out for yourself?

Plankton: Find out for myself? That's crazy enough to work! Thanks for being helpful for once, computer wife.

Karen: (rolls eyes) Any time.

(As Plankton leaves the Chum Bucket, he sees a fish leave the Krusty Krab holding a Krabby Patty.)

Plankton: (chuckles) I haven't seen one of those in a while... Hey, wait a minute!

(Plankton follows another fish through the crab-shaped hole in the doors and stops at a long line to the register.)

Plankton: What the?

(Pan left to show Imitation Krabs running the register. Fred walks up to him.)

Fred: Can I get a Krabby Patty to go?

Imitation Krabs: Order recieved. (shoots a Krabby Patty into Fred's mouth) That will be $1.99.

Fred: (grabs throat) Can't... breathe...

Imitation Krabs: Please take all complaints to the manager.

Fred: Manager... What... Manager?

(Another Imitation Krabs rolls out of the manager's office.)

Imitation Krabs 2: Did somebody call me?

(Fred throws the money at the first Imitation Krabs and rushes out, still choking.)

Imitation Krabs 1: Who is next?

Plankton: Two Imitation Krabses? Sucessfully running the original Krabs' business? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

Imitation Krabs 2: Wait a minute. I would recognize that squeaking anywhere.

Plankton: Oh, no.

Imitation Krabses: Plankton!

(Cut to a time card.)

Narrator: (slowly) One millionth of a second later.

(Cut to Plankton screaming as he flies out of the Krusty Krab and crashes into the Chum Bucket.)

Karen: Just like old times, right?

Plankton: (pulls himself out of the wall) I can't believe this. (knocks on the wall) The bucket walls are made of steel! That cyborg isn't just an enhanced Mr. Krabs. He's an enhanced Mr. Krabs without self-restriction! And considering he's smart enough to clone himself and make money from fast food all within a day, who knows what else he's capable of?

(A rocket with arms and legs walks through the doors, clasps his hands together, and dives into Plankton, blowing him up.)

Plankton: (turning into ashes) This isn't fun anymore.

Karen: Oh, you poor thing.

(Karen sweeps up and dumps Plankton into the recycling bin again.)

Plankton: (jumps out of bin) It looks like I have no other choice. I'm going to have to destroy the Imitation Krabses before they destroy me! (takes a lead pipe out of his pocket) I'll be back in a jiff!

Karen: Are you sure it's a good idea to just ambush them like that?

Plankton: (running out) Sorry! Can't hear you!

(Cut to the Krusty Krab. Plankton runs in waving the lead pipe around.)

Plankton: Alright, you mechanical menace parentheses-s-end parentheses! TASTE MY LE-

(Cut to a time card.)

Narrator: (slowly) One thousandth of a second later.

(Cut to Plankton screaming as he flies out of the Krusty Krab and crashes into the Chum Bucket.)

Plankton: (stuck in wall) Improvement!

(A rocket blasts into him and the explosion transitions the scene to the Krusty Krab at nighttime. Zoom in to reveal Imitation Krabs bouncing on a pile of money.)

Imitation Krabs: Money. Sweet money. (slides a dollar under his nose) But this is not enough. Need more. Need more money. (eyes flash red) Need...more...money.

(Cut to the Chum Bucket. The table Plankton is sleeping on begins to shake violently with the sounds of machinery.)

Plankton: (jumps up) What...WHERE IS ALL THAT RUCKUS COMING FROM?

Karen: Plankton, wake me from my beauty sleep again and I'll fry you to a crisp.

Plankton: THAT IS DOMESTIC ABUSE, KAREN! I CAN AND WILL TURN YOU IN TO THE AUTHORITIES!

(Karen extends a laser beam and points it straight at her husband.)

Plankton: oh was i being loud sorry baby just morning crankiness you know

Karen: Mmmhmm. (withdraws laser beam)

(Plankton walks out of the Chum Bucket and finds that the sounds are coming from the Krusty Krab.)

Plankton: (groans) Of course.

(Plankton slips under the KK doors and tiptoes to the kitchen, where the clamor is at its loudest. Once inside, he looks up and runs back against the door.)

Plankton: HOLY SHRIMP!

(A string of Imitation Imitation Krabses pass by on a conveyor belt. A large tube at one side drops three or four of them onto the conveyor belt at once, and on the other side, each clone flies out of an open window with a newly-installed jet pack before getting the chance to fall off the belt.)

Plankton: A factory of them! A factory!

(Plankton runs out of the restaurant and breathes heavily.)

Plankton: This is too much. One Krabs I can handle, but a tri-state area's worth With jet packs? Barnacles...

(The newspaper boy runs his bicycle over Plankton.)

Newspaper Boy: Extree! Extree! Unusually shiny flying crabs rampage through Bikini Bottom!

(Zoom in to Plankton rolling around with the front wheel.)

Plankton: Hey! You stupid kid! I'm-wait. Unusually shiny flying crabs?

(A bump in the road knocks Plankton off the front wheel.)

Plankton: Boy, was that luck- (back wheel catches him) Oh, you're kidding me! At least the next bump shouldn't be too far off.

(Cut to a time card.)

Narrator: (quickly) One hour later.

(Cut back to the bicycle. It goes over a bump and Plankton is left over with his eye swirling.)

Plankton: WHYEEE?

(An Imitation Krabs flies out from a nearby bank with a large sack of money. The policemen arrive and shoot tarter sauce at him. The Imitation Krabs avoids the sauce and shoots a rocket at the policemen. They jump out the way of the explosion and run away screaming like little girls as another rocket is pointed at them, The imitation turns and shoots the rocket at the bank instead, forcing everyone to evacuate it. The imitation then moves on to its next victim.)

Plankton: Oh, no! I can't let them destroy the place! I called it first!

(Plankton runs to the Chum Bucket, avoiding falling rockets and boats swerving around in panic. "It's The End of the World As We Know It" by R.E.M. begins to play. As the sun rises, more imitations fly through the buidings with sacks that get gradually heavier. Citizens run through the streets in terror and sorrow at their lost life savings. Some people decide to retaliate with an attack of their own. None of those people meet a happy fate. There's fire burning and babies crying everywhere. Plankton finally makes it to his domicile and staggers in with his heart broken at what he just witnessed. The music stops playing.)

Plankton: Karen, I think I've been living here for too long.

Karen: (yawns) Why is that?

Plankton: Because I actually care about all the unrest those androids are causing.

Karen: Well, what are you gonna do about it?

Plankton: What else can I do?

(Plankton climbs up a ladder and presses a red button. A circular portion of the floor sinks underground and the Chum-Bot from Enemy-in-Law rises from the hole a few seconds later.)

Plankton: I had to remove my Chum-Bot's automated functions after the trouble it gave me, but it still works well enough.

(Plankton transfers Karen's program to the robot, climbs up the cord he used for the transfer, and jumps into the Chum-Bot's eye, closing the window behind him.)

Plankton: Now, let's kick some Krabby butt!

(Plankton fiddles with the joystick control, and the Chum-Bot struts through the wall and across the street, swatting off imitations like flies. Once it gets to the Krusty Krab, it sticks a hand through the kitchen window, snaps the conveyor belt in half, and uses a half to plug up the birthing tube. As it walks back to the street, an explosion from the kitchen lets it know that the first half of its job is done.)

(Cut to the mayor's office in the Bikini Bottom Capital. The mayor is in a corner sitting in fetal position and sucking his thumb. What is presumed to be the original Imitation Krabs flies through the roof and points a rocket at the mayor.)

Mayor: What do you want, you madman?

Imitation Krabs: Every single cent in the Bikini Bottom treasury.

Mayor: But-but I can't just give it to you!

Imitation Krabs: (moves rocket closer to the mayor's face) You cannot?

Mayor: (sweating) Well, I can't! The treasurer is on floor 3. Request the money from him.

Imitation Krabs: If I find out you are screwing with me, I will be back.

(Imitation Krabs leaves the room and the mayor breathes a sigh of relief.)

(Cut to the parking lot of the Bikini Bottom Mall. The Chum-Bot blocks the entrance with a truck so the imitations can't rob it.)

Karen: Behind you!

(The Chum-Bot turns around and slaps an imitation with an aimed rocket, sending it to the ground and blowing it up.)

Plankton: Thanks, Karen.

Karen: There's still one behind you.

Plankton: What?

(An explosion in the Chum-Bot's back causes him to lose his balance.)

Plankton: Gah!

(The Chum-Bot swings around on one leg and kicks the imitation responsible into the horizon. It then jumps up and does a split, taking care of the imitations coming in from each side.)

Plankton: (wipes his head) I'm not really sure how I did that.

(Cut to the treasurer's office in the BBC. Imitation Krabs breaks down the door and points the rocket at him.)

Imitation Krabs: You know what I am here for.

Treasurer: Ugh, that spineless little mayor. Alright, I'll get your money. Hold on.

(The treasurer walks to the safe, does the combination, and opens it to reveal a treasure chest.)

Imitation Krabs: Yes. Yes. More money. More money.

(Cut to the outside of the Bikini Bottom Capital. The Chum-Bot walks up to the building and two imitations fly into his way.)

Imitation Krabs 1: I am sorry, sir.

Imitation Krabs 2: We cannot allow you to go any further.

(The Chum-Bot grabs the imitations and smashes them together.)

Plankton: Idiots.

(The treasurer puts the chest in front of Imitation Krabs and runs out of the room. Imitation Krabs opens the chest and his face shines from the doubloons' radiance. Suddenly, the Chum-Bot punches open the wall and grabs Imitation Krabs from the room.)

Plankton: Well, well, well. Look who's in the superior position now.

Imitation Krabs: Plankton!

Plankton: That's my name. Don't wear it out.

Imitation Krabs: I should have known you'd try to stop me.

Plankton: No, Krabs. No, you shouldn't have. I've wanted to destroy this town for the past 30 years. The fact that you'd stoop to doing such a thing is what opened my eyes. All this time, I thought your primary characteristic was benevolence. You were always such a goody two shoes in high school. That's why all the teachers and students loved you as much as they hated me. But I won't dwell on that because your primary characteristic isn't benevolence. No, it's not. It's greed. That's what it is. I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out. You'd do anything for a cheap buck, like slander my name and, with the help of a bit of artificial amplification, loot an entire city. It's very ironic, too, because the belief that you were kind is what encouraged me to be evil. You were the protagonist and I was the antagonist. That was how it had been for I don't know how long. When I finally won, I didn't know what to do from there, so I thought that if I built a new, better Krabs, I could have a reason to continue being what I am. Or was. But you aren't a better Krabs. You're not only worse than Krabs, you're worse than me! As I walked through those battered streets, I don't know. You could say my heart grew three sizes, but you could also say that I realized that I could have been the cause of all that. That I should have been the cause of all that. And the fact that you're the cause of all that is what makes me sick more than anything else. So yeah, I guess I'm going to be the good guy now, since you're not going to bother to take that position, you greedy bas-

Imitation Krabs: (interrupting) Yes. That monologue is very exciting. Slash sarcasm. If you excuse me, I have money to steal.

(Imitation Krabs shoots a rocket at the Chum-Bot's eye. Plankton, startled, grabs the control and pulls it. The Chum-Bot bends down backwards as the rocket flies over him in slow motion. Once the frame rate is back to normal, the Chum-Bot throws Imitation Krabs to the ground as hard as possible.)

Plankton: It took the writer fifteen minutes to perfect that monologue. Don't you dare hate on it.

Imitation Krabs: (sputters electric sparks) You may think this is over, but it's far from that. The imitations you destroyed on the way are only a small fraction of the many I produced. They were instructed to scour the ocean for all the money they could find and return to rebuild me if an occurance like this was to happen. If you destroyed the factory before coming here, which I'm sure you did, there's still more than enough to take care of my business. You may think this is over, but it's just beginniii (shuts down)

(Plankton sits there quietly for a moment then has the Chum-Bot walk down the street. The mayor calls him from his office window.)

Mayor: (waves handkerchief) Thank you, giant stranger! You've saved Bikini Bottom!

Plankton: Put a sock in it, fatty.

Mayor: (pauses) Alright, then.

(The Mayor ducks back into his office and the Chum-Bot continues its walk.)

Karen: So, what are you going to do now that you're the "good guy"?

Plankton: You were listening to my monologue?

Karen: It's not like it was difficult. I'm not subject to your animal attention span.

Plankton: I'll have you know that I'm considered an animal and a plant.

Karen: Does that make it much better?

Plankton: Not really. Anyway, I'm going to scour the ocean and stop all the imitations before they devastate the seven seas.

Karen: What about Bikini Bottom?

Plankton: Well, with all the sacks of money left over, the wealth will be redistributed in no time. The mayor's probably going to fix all the buildings and stuff, and once I-ick-tell Mr. Krabs the truth, he'll go back to running his restaurant, ripping people off, and keeping the formula from me.

Karen: You're still going to pursue the formula when you get back?

Plankton: Hey, it gives me something to do. (looks at watch) Wow, the second part of this pilot has gone on for way too long. Let's just walk off into the sunset, transition to the credits, and call it a day.

Karen: Good plan.

(The Chum-Bot walks off into the sunset.)

(The End)

(As the credits begin to roll, we cut to SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob is still playing paddleball in his bed.)

SpongeBob: 29,998,559,671,347...29,998,559,671,348...29,998,559,671,349! I've done it! I've beaten the Dirty Bubble Challenge! Now to get out and smell the fresh spring water!

(SpongeBob walks outside and everything around him is chrome.)

SpongeBob: HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN IN THERE?

(A man comes up to SpongeBob, sprays the paddle he's holding chrome, and tips his hat to him.)

(Cut to a jail cell. Mr. Krabs is being held in it. A jailer walks by.)

Mr. Krabs: (slides his cup across the bars) I'm innocent, innocent I tell you! That seaweed wasn't mine! I was only selling it!

(Cut to Squidward's house. Squidward walks downstairs to find Patrick rummaging through his refrigerator.)

Squidward: Patrick! What are you doing?

(Patrick sticks his head out of the fridge. His mouth has serveral pounds of food stuck in it.)

Patrick: (muffled) Nothing.

(The credits finish rolling.)

Tell me what you think. For realz, guyz.

Posted

It's the eleventh second

Of the eleventh minute

Of the eleventh hour

Of the eleventh day

Of the eleventh month

Of the eleventh year

Of the TWENTY FIRST CENTURY!

also here's a new episode of across the seven seas

Narrator: Previously on Plankton: Across the Seven Seas:

Plankton: (puts a closed sign in front of the Krusty Krab) I plan to make Krabs think the government shut his restaurant down.

Mr. Krabs: Shiver me timbers! Now we're all out of work!

Plankton: (in a full-body cast) I have a plan that will satisfy my villianous urges and keep Krabs on the streets!

Imitation Krabs: (starting up) Ahoy, mateys. (rolls to the Krusty Krab) Hey. This place is not half bad. I could make a use from it. (bouncing on a pile of money) This is not enough.

(Plankton watches imitation copies rampage through the city. He jumps into his Chum-Bot and destroys them.)

Imitation Krabs: You may think this is over, (Chum-Bot walks off into the sunset) but it is far from that.

(Bubble transition to a street. The Chum-Bot is still walking, and inside of its eye, Plankton is beginning to doze off.)

Plankton: (catches himself) Man, how long have we been walking? It feels like months.

Karen: It's been 30 minutes.

Plankton: 30 minutes? By the time we get to the next city, the imitations will have raided the entire ocean!

Karen: We're actually in the next city. Right now.

Plankton: What? That's impossible! I don't see any... (looks down) Oh, fish paste.

(The camera zooms out to show the Chum-Bot standing in mid-air. As if on cue, it starts falling at a rapid pace.)

Plankton: Oh no, Karen! My life is flashing before my eyes! Make it stop! It's terrible!

(The Chum-Bot lands in an explosion of dust. When it clears, Plankton is left over in the remains of his killing machine.)

Plankton: (rubs head) Where am I? (reads sign) Rock Bottom? Looks like you were right after all, Karen. Karen? (looks down at what was once the Chum-Bot) Oh, dear.

(Plankton finds a hard drive in the rubble of metal parts, slips it into his pocket, and treks down the street.)

Plankton: I need to get this all fixed pronto. I think there's a technology specialist over there. Maybe he'll know what to do.

(Plankton walks into the technology specialist's office. The specialist hears the door close but doesn't see who's responsible.)

Specialist: Is anyone (raspberry) there?

Plankton: Down (raspberry) here! Good thing they taught Piranha Latin at university.

Specialist: How (raspberry) can I help you (raspberry) today? (raspberry)

Plankton: I have (raspberry) a giant robot (raspberry) outside (raspberry) that needs repair. (raspberry)

Specialist: Well, (raspberry) let's take a look. (raspberry)

(Plankton leads the specialist to the crash site.)

Specialist: Your robot (raspberry) took a pretty (raspberry) bad hit. (raspberry)

Plankton: Yeah, (raspberry) I know. (raspberry)

Specialist: I can fix it, (raspberry) but it'll be (raspberry) pretty expensive. (raspberry)

Plankton: Expensive? (raspberry) How expensive? (raspberry)

Specialist: Five (raspberry) hundred bucks (raspberry) expensive. (raspberry)

Plankton: What? (raspberry) I can't afford (raspberry) that price! (raspberry)

Specialist: Then it's not (raspberry) my problem. (raspberry)

(The technology specialist goes back to his office, and Plankton pulls his antennas in frustration.)

Plankton: (takes out hard drive) What now, Karen?

(An Imitation Krabs flies over Plankton's head. Plankton looks up at it then jumps back in shock.)

Plankton: An imitation! Just my luck. How am I gonna stop him without my Chum-Bot? (picks up scrap metal) It's not much, but it'll do. (follows the imitation)

(The imitation breaks into a television station a few blocks away and points a rocket at Tiffany the Receptionist.)

Imitation Krabs: Give me all of your money.

Tiffany: What? (raspberry)

Imitation Krabs: What do you mean "what"? I am speaking plain English!

Tiffany: I don't (raspberry) understand (raspberry) your accent. (raspberry)

Imitation Krabs: (shoots a spark out of his mouth to denote a raspberry) Give (bzzt) me all of (bzzt) your money. (bzzt)

Tiffany the Receptionist: Oh! (raspberry) Alright. (raspberry)

(Tiffany takes several hundred dollars out of her purse and gives it to the imitation.)

Imitation Krabs: That is all? (bzzt) My sensors (bzzt) indicate (bzzt) that there is much more (bzzt) in the building.

Tiffany the Receptionist: Well, yeah, (raspberry) but Gary Gulper (raspberry) controls all that. (raspberry) You'll have to (raspberry) speak to him. (raspberry)

Imitation Krabs: Gary (bzzt) Gulper? (bzzt)

Tiffany the Receptionist: Yep. (raspberry) The richest man (raspberry) in Rock Bottom. (raspberry)

(The imitation stuffs Tiffiny's money into his sack and heads for the stairs.)

(Cut to the outside of the station. Plankton stops to catch his breath before going in.)

Plankton: WSEA? That's where I filmed my Chum Bucket commercial! What does he want with this place?

(Cut to the news room. Gary Gulper is preparing for his next TV appearance when the imitation flies through his door.)

Gary Gulper: (to the mirror) Gary Gulper, you are a sexy salmon. (turns around) Hello there! (raspberry) I'm a bit busy, (raspberry) so I can't give you (raspberry) an autograph right now. (raspberry)

Imitation Krabs: I do not want your autograph.

Gary Gulper: Oh, an Englishman! What are you here for?

(The imitation turns his hand into a rocket and aims it squarely at Gary Gulper's head.)

Gary Gulper: (sweating) I see that I've wronged you in some way. How much do you want to make this little issue disappear?

Imitation Krabs: I want all of it.

(Gary Gulper gulps. Downstairs, Plankton walks into the station and climbs up Tiffany the Receptionist's desk.)

Plankton: Have you seen (raspberry) an unusually (raspberry) shiny flying crab (raspberry) go past here? (raspberry)

Tiffany the Receptionist: Yeah. (raspberry) He's upstairs (raspberry) attacking (raspberry) Gary Gulper. (raspberry)

Plankton: Gary Gulper? (runs to the stairs just as the imitation flies out of the door with a heavy sack) Oh no! I'm too late!

Imitation Krabs: Who was that?

(Plankton ducks behind the stairs as the imitation looks down suspiciously.)

Imitation Krabs: Underwater (bzzt) female unit, (bzzt) where does one (bzzt) record to film? (bzzt)

Tiffany the Receptionist: (points to the rec room) Where else? (raspberry)

(The imitation flies through the rec room's window and points a rocket at the film crew, who quickly get the live feed set up.)

Cameraman: In five... (raspberry) four... (raspberry) three... (raspberry) two... (raspberry) one...

(Plankton walks in just as the broadcast starts.)

Imitation Krabs: (holding up rocket) Attention, (bzzt) citizens (bzzt) of Rock Bottom. (bzzt) I am here (bzzt) to destroy (bzzt) you and your city. (bzzt)

(The camera shakes with the film crew, and Plankton hides behind the door in panic.)

Imitation Krabs: However, (bzzt) that grievous fate (bzzt) can be prevented (bzzt) if you all line up (bzzt) at Bottom Rock (bzzt) with all of your money (bzzt) for me to leave with, (bzzt) and if I detect (bzzt) a single coin (bzzt) left over (bzzt) when we are finished, (bzzt) I will proceed as planned. (bzzt)

(The imitation rolls out of the rec room and station, and once he's gone, Plankton comes out of hiding.)

Plankton: Bottom Rock? I'm gonna need more info on this place.

(Plankton runs up the stairs and opens the news room door to find Gary Gulper bound and gagged.)

Plankton: Gary Gulper?

Gary Gulper: (muffled) Another Englishman! Please don't hurt me! That robot already took everything I have!

(Plankton unties Gary and rips off the tape from his mouth.)

Gary Gulper: Ow! You're pretty strong for a little guy.

Plankton: Nevermind that! I don't want to hurt you. I just want to know if you know anything about a "Bottom Rock".

Gary Gulper: (chuckles) Bottom Rock. That's what the folks up there call a "misnomer".

Plankton: Huh?

Gary Gulper: Bottom Rock is actually a volcano not too far away from this studio. It's been said to erupt every thousand years, and now that I've thought about it, it's been a thousand years since its last eruption. An interesting little snippet to add to my next forecast.

Plankton: A volcano, huh? Well, that shouldn't be too hard to find. Thanks, Gulper!

Gary Gulper: Thank you! I'm feeling surprisingly well despite the fact that I was just robbed blind. I hope this lasts for a long time.

(As Plankton walks down the stairs, he hears screams of agony from the news room. He shakes his head and sprints out the station.)

Plankton: (takes out hard drive) Well, Karen, it's now or never.

(Cut to Bottom Rock. A long line of sobbing families and annoyed businessmen fill bag after bag with coins and cash. The imitation throws the bag into what he believes to be a hollow stone.)

Imitation Krabs: Keep them coming, people. (bzzt) I would hate to have (bzzt) to change my mind (bzzt) about sparing you. (a shard of metal goes into the back of his head)

(The imitation turns around and sees Plankton using a propeller cap to hover behind him.)

Imitation Krabs: You!

Plankton: Yes, me. The tiny green one-eye about to cut you to pieces.

Imitation Krabs: You are not about to do anything. That toy you threw at me simply left a scratch.

Plankton: I know how you work, imitation. Just leave the freaks alone so I won't have to completely destroy you.

Imitation Krabs: Never! If anyone is going to be destroyed, it will be you!

Plankton: You're on!

Rock Bottomite 1: What (raspberry) are they saying? (raspberry)

Rock Bottomite 2: I don't know (raspberry) but we better leave (raspberry) before things get ugly. (raspberry)

(Everyone runs back to their houses, and Plankton takes another metal fragment from his pocket. Before he gets to use it, the imitation shoots a rocket at him. Plankton flies out of the way in time, but he drops his weapon in the process, and the imitation obliterates it before he can get to it.)

Plankton: Great. That was my last one.

Imitation Krabs: Any last words, Plankton?

Plankton: Yeah. You hear rumbling?

Imitation Krabs: Now that you mention it, I d-

(Bottom Rock explodes in a large gust of fiery lava. The imitation is caught before he can escape, but Plankton dodges the burning rain and flies several miles away. The technology specialist from earlier in the episode sees Plankton and signals for him to stop.)

Specialist: Me and the rest (raspberry) of Rock Bottom (raspberry) just wanted to thank you (raspberry) for saving us. (raspberry)

Plankton: I didn't do it. (raspberry) Nature did. (raspberry)

Specialist: What do you mean? (raspberry)

(Cut to a lake of lava, contained in a trench. An extremely disfigured imitation floats at the very top.)

(Cut back to Plankton and the specialist.)

Plankton: Nothing. (raspberry) I'm glad to help. (raspberry)

Specialist: And for your help, (raspberry) we wanted (raspberry) to give you this. (raspberry)

(A crowd of citizens carry a newly made Chum-Bot into the scene.)

Specialist: Here's your robot. (raspberry) Free of charge. (raspberry) Getting our wealth back (raspberry) more than pays for it. (raspberry)

Plankton: Wait, (raspberry) you got your money back? (raspberry)

Specialist: Yes. (raspberry) Riches fell from the sky. (raspberry) The bags were kind of burnt, (raspberry) but the money was fine. (raspberry)

Plankton: Great, (raspberry) great. (raspberry)

(Plankton gets back into the Chum-Bot and presses a button that activates its rocket boots.)

Plankton: Hey, that's new. (leans out window) Thank you! (raspberry) Thank you all!

Crowd: You're welcome!

(Once Plankton gets to the top of the road, he tenderly puts the hard drive into the Chum-Bot and waits a few seconds.)

Karen: (makes robotic noises) Rebooting system.

Plankton: Welcome back, Karen!

Karen: Karen? (long pause) Who's Karen?

(The End)

Posted

Narrator: Previously on Plankton: Across the Seven Seas:

(The Chum-Bot crashes in Rock Bottom and an imitation flies over the ruins.)

Plankton: An imitation! Just my luck.

Imitation Krabs: Give me all of your money.

Tiffany: What? (raspberry)

Imitation Krabs: (shoots a spark out of his mouth to denote a raspberry) Give (bzzt) me all of (bzzt) your money.

(Cut to Bottom Rock. A long line of sobbing families and annoyed businessmen fill bag after bag with coins and cash. The imitation throws the bags into what he believes to be a hollow stone. A shard of metal goes into the back of his head.)

Plankton: Just leave the freaks alone so I won't have to completely destroy you.

Imitation Krabs: Never!

(Bottom Rock erupts, destroys the imitation, and rains the money back to the citizens. The citizens bring Plankton his fixed Chum-Bot. The Chum-Bot flies to the next city.)

Karen: (makes robotic noises) Rebooting system.

Plankton: Welcome back, Karen!

Karen: Karen? Who's Karen?

(Bubble transition to a diner. Plankton is having coffee with the Chum-Bot.)

Plankton: So, you don't remember anything about your previous life?

Karen: Did I have a previous life? My database say that I was just installed this morning.

Plankton: Of course you've had a previous life! That crash must have done something to your physical memory. Maybe going through photo albums will fix it.

Karen: Are you sure that's how memory restoration works?

Plankton: No.

(Plankton jumps into the Chum-Bot and walks out of the diner. The waiter comes to his table right afterwards.)

Waiter: Hey! Who didn't pay for his coffee?

(Cut to outside. The streets are lined with casinos, hotels, and malls.)

Plankton: Bass Vegas, Karen. The most fabulous city in the ocean!

Karen: Are you going to show me the images now?

Plankton: Ooh, a terrarium! Let's stop there first.

(Cut to the terrarium, a giant, air-filled box with a replication of a grass field with trees and wildlife. As the unaware land animals roam behind him, Plankton shows Karen through one of his photo albums.)

Plankton: (points to picture) Here's me building you in 1984. We were all so hip back then, and I had hair.

Karen: (stares at the horses) That is very interesting.

Plankton: Karen, you're not paying attention! How are you going to get your memory back if you don't work with me?

Karen: OK, OK, what else do you have?

Plankton: (flips page) Here's you displaying my ingredients after a very bad encounter with a sponge.

Karen: That's dated ten years ago. Did anything happen before then?

Plankton: I don't know. Ask the writer. I'm just trying to get you to remember stuff.

Karen: I'm sorry, but I still don't remember anything. Why am I in this robot, anyway? I'm a screen in that photograph, and this seems like a random place to run me in.

Plankton: It's a long story. You'll know it all once you get your memory back.

Karen: To be honest, I'm not too sure right now if I will get my memory back.

Plankton: What do you mean? Of course you will! Just wait until I get to these next shots. It'll all come back to you!

Karen: Can you just take me somewhere else? The lack of sinuousity behind that glass is making me dizzy.

Plankton: Um, alright. (gets into robot) It's about time I check out one of those famous casinos, anyway.

(Cut to the Anchor Drop. The security guard stops the Chum-Bot on its way in.)

Guard: No robots allowed.

Plankton: Can't you make an exception? I really want my wife to have the full Bass Vegas experience.

Guard: Rules are rules. Sorry.

Plankton: (groans) Okay, Karen. I'll have to leave you out here. Don't worry. I won't be long.

(Plankton jumps out of the Chum-Bot and runs into the casino. Inside, he sees people playing card games, pool, and other fun activities.)

Plankton: This is my kind of place.

(Plankton walks over to the slot machine and puts in a quarter. The first two slots turn into an anchor while the last one turns into a shell.)

Plankton: So close!

(Cut to a time card.)

Narrator: Three days later.

(Cut back.)

Plankton: Oh, barnacles! I thought that was gonna be it for sure! Now I don't have any money left for real gambling!(to camera) Not that gambling is right or anything.

(Plankton leaves the casino and jumps into the Chum-Bot.)

Karen: You said you wouldn't be long.

Plankton: It was only a couple of hours, wasn't it?

Karen: Do you lie to your wife this way?

Plankton: You are my wife, and lying is a necessity in all relationships. I know. I wrote a book on it.

Karen: How many copies has it sold?

Plankton: One more than you'll ever sell.

Karen: How many?

Plankton: One.

Karen: Exactly. I hate to trash you like this...

Plankton: You might not be my wife after all.

Karen: ...but if I did have a previous life, I couldn't imagine marrying someone like you in it.

Plankton: Well, we didn't technically get married.

Karen: What does that mean? Is this marriage unofficial?

Plankton: The state doesn't recognize marriages between citizens and their computers.

Karen: Then why do you call me your wife?

Plankton: Wired Integrated Female Electroencephalograph.

Karen: I can't believe this! If I'm not your wife, what am I, some robot slave?

Plankton: No, no! You are my wife, in every figurative meaning of the word!

Karen: I need some time alone.

Plankton: Alone? Why?

Karen: I need to do some thinking.

Plankton: But we've just gotten reunited!

Karen: That didn't stop you from spending three days at a casino!

Plankton: Slot machines are very addictive machines!

Karen: Just...let me do this. Please.

Plankton: (angrily) Alright, fine! I'll let you do it! And you know what else? (presses a few buttons on the control pad) I'm connecting you to the Chum-Bot's mobile functions, so now you can take off whenever you want!

Karen: (moves the Chum-Bot's right arm) Thanks. Until I make up my mind about what I plan to do from here, you're probably not going to be seeing me.

Plankton: You're a fifty foot tall robot. I'll be seeing you.

Karen: Fair enough. Goodbye. (walks down the road)

Guard: Tough luck, man.

Plankton: (startled) How long have you been there?

Guard: You guys haven't exactly moved much since you came out.

Plankton: Oh, right. I feel like I made a big mistake, letting her leave like this. What if she never comes back? I'm in in awful slump.

Guard: Well, my shift's almost over, so I'm gonna help you get out of the that slump!

Plankton: How?

(Cut to a stage with a crowd of male fish under it.)

Men: Take it off! Take it off!

(A female fish is on the stage, and she's holding a wrapped hamburger. She takes the wrapper off the hamburger.)

Men: Take a bite! Take a bite!

(The woman takes a bite. The men cheer. Plankton and the guard are among them.)

Plankton: I'm feeling extremely dirty about this, but I don't care!

Guard: Out of your slump?

Plankton: Slump? What slump? Nothing could make this day bad!

(Three Imitation Krabses fly above the Bass Vegas Strip with heavy sacks. They see the Chum-Bot sitting thoughtfully on a bench.)

Imitation Krabs 1: Plankton! We were warned about him.

Imitation Krabs 2: Let us take him down efficiently.

(The imitations each shoot a rocket at the Chum-Bot. Karen hears the rockets and jumps out of the way just in time.)

Karen: What was that? (looks up at the imitations)

Imitation Krabs 3: Uh oh. We have been spotted.

(Cut back to the stage.)

Plankton: Did you hear an explosion?

Guard: One of the lights probably burst. Why?

Plankton: I don't know. I'm feeling uneasy. I think I should go.

Guard: But the girl's about to get a footlong sub.

Plankton: Well, I'll stay for just a few more minutes.

(Cut back to the bench. Karen uses the Chum-Bot to throw the bench at the imitations. It hits the second imitation, and the impact from the explosion sends the others both ways.)

(Cut back to the stage.)

Plankton: Another explosion? She's half of the way through the sub, conscience! Don't do this to me!

(The first imitation falls through the ceiling and lands on the performing fish.)

Plankton: Oh, you did it to me! Back away, boys! I have a duty to fulfill.

Guard: You have a night shift? Sucks for you!

(Cut to the third imitation. Karen is following him when he gets stuck in a flashing billboard.)

Karen: While you're in this unfortunate position, I'd really love to know why you tried to kill me.

(The imitation growls.)

(Cut to the stage. Once the first imitation gets back on his feet, he points a rocket at the crowd.)

Imitation Krabs 1: It would be a very good idea for you to start paying up.

Guard: Man! Got me on payday, too. (turns to Plankton) You're lucky that casino already have your money.

Plankton: I'm broke either way. I wouldn't really call that luck. Anyway, you don't need to give that phony Krabs a cent. Just throw me up there. I know what to do.

Guard: You sure?

Plankton: Yes.

Guard: Alright, then. (pick up Plankton and prepares to throw)

(Suddenly, the waiter from earlier in the episode grabs Plankton from the guard's hands.)

Waiter: You're the little scumbag that didn't pay for his coffee!

Plankton: Oh, I have all the luck.

(Cut to the billboard. The third imitation finishes telling Karen what's happened so far.)

Karen: So that's why I'm in here. Plankton wants to help people. I really misjudged him.

(Cut to the stage. The waiter is holding Plankton with two fingers.)

Waiter: You know, jerk, there are people in this world who have to work for a living! (squeezes Plankton)

Guard: Careful, man! You're hurting him!

Waiter: Why don't you mind your own business?

Plankton: (presses a button on his watch) Help me, Karen.

(Cut to the billboard. A red dot appears on the Chum-Bot's map while its tries to pull the third imitation out of the billboard.)

Karen: Plankton! (to the imitation) Don't you move! Oh, who am I kidding? You can't move! (walks off laughing)

(Cut to the stage. The waiter is shaking Plankton when the guard pushes him, and they get into a fight. Plankton is dropped, and the first imitation spots him just before he starts collecting his dues.)

Imitation Krabs 1: Plankton? If that is you, then who was...

(The Chum-Bot smashes through the wall.)

Imitation Krabs 1: Oh, poopie.

(The Chum-Bot grabs the imitation and breaks in in half. It throws the pieces at the billboard that the third imitation is lodged in, and the billboard explodes with them.)

Plankton: Karen, you came!

Karen: Yes, I did. And I'm sorry for what I said. Just because you're not my wife doesn't mean you don't love me.

Plankton: I'm sorry for what you said, too. But it's all forgiven, since you got me out of this really bad jam.

(The waiter and guard are rolling on the ground while punching each other. Plankton avoids them and jumps back into the Chum-Bot.)

Plankton: Eh, they'll be fine. So, you wanna go through the rest of this photo album?

Karen: Yeah, why not?

(The Chum-Bot walks down the road again until it's nothing but a silhouette in the moonshine.)

Plankton: Well, there's you convincing me to take advantage of the sponge's friendship, me trying to steal the Krabby Patty formula, you meeting my cousins, me trying to steal the Krabby Patty formula, me trying to steal the Krabby Patty formula, and, well, it doesn't really get much more exciting from here...

(The End)

Posted

Five minutes late, but it's here!

Narrator: Previously on Plankton: Across the Seven Seas:

Plankton: So, you don't remember anything about your previous life?

Karen: Did I have a previous life? (at a Bass Vegas casino) I need some time alone.

Plankton: Alone? Why?

Karen: I need to do some thinking. (walks off)

Plankton: I'm in in awful slump.

Casino Guard: I'm gonna help you get out of the that slump!

Men: (at a stage) Take it off! Take it off!

(The female fish on the stage takes the wrapper off the hamburger. Plankton and the guard cheer with the others.)

Men: Take a bite! Take a bite!

(Cut to a bench. Three imitations shoot rockets at the Chum-Bot. It, being controlled by Karen, jumps out of the way and throws the bench at an imitation, blowing it up and knocking another into a billboard. Karen finds another imitation at the stage and throws it at the billboard, blowing both imitations up.)

Karen: I'm sorry for what I said.

Plankton: I'm sorry for what you said, too.

(Bubble transtition to a large gate with a sign saying "Tentacle Acres" above it. The Chum-Bot walks up to the gate and presses a button on one of its majestic golden doors.)

Intercom: How can I help y-oh my suction cups! Another robot!

(On the other side of the intercom, security officers frantically run out of their station.)

(Cut back to the entrance. Plankton jumps out of the Chum-Bot's eye and knocks on the door.)

Plankton: Hello? Anyone there? Karen, I think there's something going on in there. Something bad.

Karen: Oh. Alright, I'll break down the door.

(The Chum-Bot kicks the doors open and walks in, followed by Plankton. They see a shell of what Tentacle Acres once was. The streets are cracked and littered with overturned cars. The tiki houses that line each side of the street are nothing but uninhabitable wrecks. The few people that remain out in the city are in rags and searching for cockroaches to cook and take home to their familes. Plankton and Karen continue to stroll in the ominous red air.)

Plankton: I think I'm a bit late.

(A truck filled with sacks of money struggles up the street. Five imitations hovering over the truck are each pointing a rocket at the driver, who has a look in his face with as little emotion as the other squid inhabitants.)

Imitation Krabs 1: Master will be pleased when we show him our earnings.

Imitation Krabs 2: Yes. Very pleased.

Plankton: Whoa, there! (jumps into the Chum-Bot and blocks the truck) I can't let you go any farther.

Imitation Krabs 3: Do not tempt fate, Plankton.

Imitation Krabs 4: It is five against one.

(The imitations point their rockets at the Chum-Bot, and the truck driver drives on as if nothing has happened.)

Karen: Make that five against two.

(The Chum-Bot kicks the truck so that it speeds down the street backwards. The imitations unsuccessfully try to catch the truck.)

Imitation Krabs 5: No! (turns to the Chum-Bot) You will pay for that!

(The fifth imitation shoots a rocket at the Chum-Bot and misses. The other imitations follow suit, but none of them manage to hit their target.)

Imitation Krabs 1: Oh, no. That was my last rocket.

Imitation Krabs 2: Mine, too!

Imitation Krabs 3: I still have a rocket left.

(The Chum-Bot punches a hole through the third imitation, and it blows up along with the first two.)

Imitation Krabs 4: My friends! You killed my friends, you big bully! You killed my friends!

Imitation Krabs 5: We still have rockets, and we are not afraid to use them.

Plankton: I have two fists, and I'm not afraid to use them!

(The Chum-Bot punches a hole through the fourth and fifth imitations, and they explode as well.)

Plankton: Let's go, Karen. There's nothing more for us to do here.

Karen: Shouldn't we help fix up the place and get everyone their money back?

Plankton: But then I'll just be letting the rest of the imitations have their way with the cities they're in. No. We can't afford any more delays. We're going.

Voice: You're not going anywhere!

Plankton: Did you listen to a word I...

(Plankton looks down and sees two security officers pointing tarter sauce guns at him.)

Officer 1: Put your hands up, robot scum.

Plankton: Me? What did I do?

Officer 1: What did you do? Look around you!

Plankton: That wasn't me! The ones with the big metal claws did that!

Officer 2: In our eyes, you're all the same. Now, do what we say or face the consequences.

(Plankton sighs and raises the Chum-Bot's hands.)

Officer 2: Good. We're gonna take you to your cell now. You better not try any funny business when we get there.

Plankton: Cell? You're seriously gonna arrest me? I didn't do anything!

Officer 1: Tell it to the judge.

Plankton: (turns the Chum-Bot around) That's it. I don't have time for you guys.

Officer 1: He's resisting! Fire!

(The security officers shoot tarter sauce at the Chum-Bot. Plankton jumps out in time, but the tarter sauce eletrocutes the Chum-Bot, causing it to shut down and fall to the ground.)

Plankton: Karen! I hope you two are happy.

(The officers put handcuffs on Plankton.)

Officer 2: We are.

(The to the Tentecle Acres Penitentiary. The Chum-Bot, on a wagon, is wheeled into the evidence room. Plankton, in a jail cell, desperately bangs his fists on the bars.)

Plankton: Let me out! Get me a lawyer, at least.

Warden: Stop all that racket! I'm trying to beat this computer in chess.

Plankton: (sighs) Once again, Plankton, you've gotten yourself into a pickle.

Voice: DID SOMEONE SAY PICKLE?

(A wrinkly sea cucumber pops out of the ground.)

Cucumber: I'm Billy the Sea Cucumber! You must be my cell mate. Welcome to our shining community! (punches and screams echo through the prison)

Plankton: Um, hi. I'm Plankton, and what happened to your skin?

Billy: We ran out of water, so the warden has us shower in vinegar.

Plankton: This place sounds horrible!

Billy: No, it's great! We get three square meals a day! Today we're having a square egg for breakfast, a square apple for lunch, and square pants for dinner! You couldn't ask for anything more!

Plankton: I could ask for more. And I had more before those stupid men in blue took it away from me.

Billy: Your teenage angst is really bummin' me out, fresh.

Plankton: Sorry. I didn't mean to lay this all on you.

Billy: No, it's cool. What are you in for, anyway?

Plankton: Being at the wrong place at the wrong time, and by that, I mean being in a robot during a robot apocalypse.

Billy: Oh yeah, I heard something about that. It's really ticking a lot of dudes off, so I doubt you'll get too much of a break.

Plankton: If I had only gotten here sooner, none of this would have happened. And thanks to the lockup, there's nothing I can do to prevent this from happening again.

Billy: Well, maybe there's something you can do.

Plankton: Really? What?

Billy: (grabs Plankton's arm) Come with me and you'll see!

(Billy jumps back into the ground with Plankton right behind him.)

(Cut to the evidence room. Billy and Plankton pop out of the ground.)

Billy: Well, here we are! I travel here often to satisfy my kleptomania. Your robot should be around here somewhere.

Plankton: There it is!

(Plankton sprints to the Chum-Bot and hugs its leg.)

Plankton: Don't worry, Karen. This will all be over soon.

Officers: (runs in) Halt!

Plankton: Oh, no.

(The security officers point their tarter sauce guns at Plankton, and when Billy tries to sneak back into the ground, the second officer shoots him.)

Officer 2: You're not going anywhere, pickle boy.

Plankton: Billy!

(Plankton avoids the officers' shots by sliding to Billy. Before they can recharge, he grabs Billy and jumps into the ground.)

(Cut to a hospital waiting room. Plankton and Billy pop out of the ground, and Plankton wipes the tarter sauce off Billy's face while carefully putting him into a chair.)

Billy: (coughs) Where am I?

Plankton: At the hospital. Let's hope your insurace covers tarter sauce poisoning.

Billy: Y-you helped me?

Plankton: Why not? You helped me. I'm sorry I can't stay, but I can't risk being here when the police find you.

Billy: The police! There went my chances of getting off for good behavior. I'm gonna be eating square boots for the rest of my life.

Plankton: (smiles) Good luck, Billy. (walks out the door)

Billy: Good luck, Plankton. (coughs)

(Cut to a time card.)

Narrator: One day later.

(Cut to an alleyway. A squid with a long white beard throws Plankton into a pot of boiling water with carrots and onions.)

Plankton: I'm telling you! I'm not a cockroach!

Squid: Don't think you can fool me. I know a cockroach when I see one.

Plankton: I thought squids were supposed to be smart.

Squid: I'm an octopus, thank you very much. Now, you stay right there. I need to take an ink. (walks off)

Plankton: Great. Instead of rotting in a cell, I'm gonna cook in a pot. Where's deus ex machina when you need it?

(A security officer grabs Plankton from the pot.)

Officer: You think you can escape from the law?

Plankton: (sighs) I guess not. Go ahead. Read me my rights, lock me up, throw away the key. I guess I just wasn't meant to save the underwater civilization.

Officer: (confused) What? What are you talking about?

Plankton: That robot you shot down wasn't a menace. I was using it to stop the real menaces. Remember those robot crab carcasses at the "crime" scene?

Officer: Yeah. I didn't know...

Plankton: Remember that money truck at the end of the street? That was me. No. No, it wasn't me. It was my amnesiac wife.

Officer: Your wife? What in art's name are you talking about?

Plankton: My computer wife. She was in that robot, and she's probably in a worse state now than she's ever been in.

Officer: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. Robots have terrorized us for the past week. You understand why we'd have difficultly trusting any of those walking toasters.

Plankton: Yeah, I understand. You were just doing your job. I should have cooperated. But there are many more menaces out there, and if I don't get out of here soon, there will be more destruction left in their path.

Officer: (thinking) You've been a wanted felon for the past day. This has been all over the news. I'm gonna have to take you to court.

Plankton: That's fair enough.

Officer: Everyone hates robots right now. Not just us. If you want to win this, you're gonna have to be really convincing.

Plankton: I can try.

Officer: No, trying's not good enough. This is your life on the line, and if what you're saying is true, this is everyone's life on the line. You need to tell these people what you intend to do with the robot, and you've got to make them believe it!

Plankton: I will. If I can make you believe it. I can make anyone believe.

Officer: Good, because your trial is today.

Plankton: What? Son of a

(Cut to Billy's hospital room. Plankton walks in)

Plankton: Well, Billy, I'm a free man. I asked the cops to bring the robot here so you can watch me walk off into the sunset.

Billy: Well, don't leave it here too long. You know about my kleptomania. Kleptomania means compulsive stealing, by the way.

Plankton: (rolls eyes) Thank you for the Enlish lesson. I'm pretty sure our 10-12 demographic knows what "kleptomania" means.

Billy: (chuckles) You're gonna be just fine, Plankton, and since I got my stomach pumped of that tarter sauce, (points to scar on belly) I guess I'll be, too.

Officer: (walks in) Plankton, I've got some bad news for you.

Plankton: What? Is something wrong with the Chum-Bot?

Officer: No, it's just that...the Chum-Bot was bought from the TAPD last night by a Dr. P. Lankton.

(The End)

Edit: I hate my life

Posted

Thought it was over? Well, you're WRONG!

Narrator: Previously on Plankton: Across the Seven Seas...

(The Chum-Bot destroys imitations at a ravaged Tentacle Acres. When he's finished, two security officers point tarter sauce guns at him.)

Officer 1: Put your hands up, robot scum.

Plankton: That wasn't me! The ones with the big metal claws did that!

Officer 2: In our eyes, you're all the same. (handcuffs Plankton)

(Cut to a jail cell. Plankton bangs on the bars, to no avail. A pickle-like creature pops out of the ground.)

Billy: I'm Billy the Sea Cucumber! (at the evidence room) Your robot should be around here somewhere.

Plankton: There it is! (hugs the Chum-Bot's legs)

Officers: (runs in) Halt! (second officer shoots Billy)

Plankton: (at a hospital) Let's hope your insurace covers tarter sauce poisoning. (at an alleyway) That robot you shot down wasn't a menace. I was using it to stop the real menaces.

Officer: I'm gonna have to take you to court. If you want to win this, you're gonna have to be really convincing. This is your life on the line, and if what you're saying is true, this is everyone's life on the line.

Plankton: (at the hospital) Well, Billy, I'm a free man. I asked the cops to bring the robot here so you can watch me walk off into the sunset.

Officer: (walks in) Plankton, I've got some bad news for you. The Chum-Bot was bought from the TAPD last night by a Dr. P. Lankton.

(Bubble transition to a hotel room. Plankton is in the room staring blankly at the television when Billy walks in.)

Billy: You do know that the television isn't on, right?

(Plankton says nothing.)

Billy: I'll take that as a "yes".

(Plankton rolls over in the bed and moans loudly.)

Billy: Come on, man! You didn't go through all that trouble for nothing, did you?

Plankton: Yes, Billy. I did. Without my Chum-Bot, without my Karen, I'm useless.

Billy: You are not useless! You've gotten this far, haven't you?

Plankton: Yeah, but I can't ward off those nefarious robots by myself.

Billy: You don't have to. When I was released from the hospital, the police told me that they wouldn't send me back to the penitentiary if I agreed to get the heck out of Tentacle Acres as soon as possible!

Plankton: (sits up) Really?

Billy: Yep! I'm getting ready to leave right now, and I'd love for you to come with me. We can team up and fight those nasty robots together!

Plankton: But why do you want to help me?

Billy: Because thanks to your insistence that the squids in blue let me off easy, I'm free to stealthily shoplift all I want! I owe you more than you could ever know.

Plankton: Well, I doubt we'll be able to accomplish much even as partners, but I guess it's worth a shot.

Billy: Great! Get dressed and meet me at the golden gate!

Plankton: I don't wear clothes.

Billy: What a coincidence! Neither do I! See ya at the gate! (zips out of the room)

Plankton: (sighs) Well, looks like I'm back on the road.

(Cut to a street. Billy recklessly drives a shiny boatmobile through the morning traffic while Plankton screams in the passenger seat.)

Billy: (singing) On the road again...Just can't wait to get on the road again...The life I love is making music with my friend...sss...I can't wait to get on the road again!

Plankton: Where did you get this boatmobile from again?

Billy: Some questions are better left unanswered. On that subject, however, do you know of a good spot to dispose of a license plate?

(Billy takes a license plate out of his pocket, and Plankton resumes screaming.)

(Cut to a sign saying "New Kelp City - Population: A lot". Billy and Plankton speed past the sign with police cars trailing behind them.)

Plankton: (panicked) Pull over, Billy! Pull over!

Billy: What are you, crazy? I haven't have this much fun in years! Woo-hoo!

(Billy swerves left and right to avoid gunshots, and Plankton tries desparately to put his seatbelt on.)

Policeman: (talks through shell) Don't make this hard for us. Pull over now and we'll forget this whole chase sequence ever happened.

Billy: That sounds boring!

Plankton: (lets go of seatbelt) Boring? It's a great offer, and I'd suggest taking (flies from boatmobile) IIIIIT!

Billy: (flying with Plankton) Those speed bumps just come out of nowhere!

Plankton: This is terrible! The only thing that could stop us from being captured and arrested now is a conveniently placed device consisting of a piece of taut, strong fabric stretched over a steel frame using many coiled springs!

(A trampoline suddenly appears, and the duo bounces off of it.)

Billy: Wow! Wish for a million dollars next, won't you?

(The police cars stop around the empty seahicle. Billy and Plankton land on top of a large building, and once they regain their composure, they take in the massive sights around them.)

Plankton: This place is beautiful.

Billy: Yeah, it definitely beats looking at the wall of a jail cell all day.

Plankton: We should just sit here, Billy. Sit here for the rest of our short lives, admiring this perfect view.

Billy: But what about that plot device? The one with the robots.

Plankton: (groans) Oh, right. The imitations. A large city like this should be crawling with them.

Billy: What do these "imitations" look like again?

Plankton: They're basically shiny, greedy crabs. Why?

Billy: (points) I think I see a few of them heading towards the First National Bank of Kelp.

(Plankton takes out a telescope and points it toward the bank. He watches in shock as the imitations break in through the windows.)

Plankton: Oh, no! I can't let them infiltrate another bank!

Billy: Infiltrate? You speak funny.

Plankton: (rolls eye) Come on!

(Plankton grabs Billy and jumps off the skyscraper.)

(Cut to the First National Bank of Kelp. Plankton and Billy parachute in as the imitations get ready to shoot rockets at the bank's safe.)

Billy: Now what?

Plankton: Do you still have that license plate from earlier?

Billy: (takes out license plate) Of course!

Plankton: Alright, then. Hand it over. I'm about to play a game of frisbee.

Billy: Is this really the best time to be playing...

(Plankton snatches the plate from Billy, and when he throws it, it slices through all the imitations.)

Billy: Frisbee?

Bank manager: Oh, thank goodness you two got here in time! Say, where have I seen you before?

(Billy and Plankton look up to find a "WANTED" sign with badly drawn pencil sketches of them.)

Plankton: It must have been at a dinner party. Sorry we can't stay for long. Goodbye!

(Billy and Plankton run out of the bank to find wanted posters of them everywhere.)

Plankton: Man, these guys really take speeding seriously.

Billy: We're gonna need disgusises if we're going to destroy all those robots in peace.

Plankton: (points) Hey, look! A costume shop!

Billy: We sure are having a lucky day!

(Billy and Plankton walk into and out of the costume shop in seconds. They're both wearing Groucho glasses and propellor caps.)

Plankton: Nobody'll recognize us now! Plus, these hats serve the added purpose of letting us patrol New Kelp from the skies!

Billy: This fake mustache really itches.

Plankton: A small price to pay to save humanity!

Billy: I still think we should have gone with the gorilla masks.

(Plankton and Billy flick the propellors of their caps, sending them into the air. Plankton takes out his telescope and uses it to patrol the streets from above.)

Plankton: There don't seem to be any disturbances so far.

Billy: I'm hungry. Can we stop for some fast food?

Plankton: No! We've already wasted enough time. Anyway, I think I've found the imitations' convening place. I'm gonna take a closer look. (flies down)

Billy: I hope they're convening at a Mediterranean restuarant. (follows Plankton)

(Cut to an abandoned Codway theater. An imitation double-takes, then it rolls into the theater with a heavy bag slumped over its shoulder. Billy and Plankton peek out of the bag to find dozens of imitations filling the stage with gold bars.)

Imitation 1: (empties contents of bag onto stage) I have finished securing the assets of the last of the Shore Lane investors.

Imitation 2: Good, good. Now we can begin our pursuit of the lower-income neighborhoods. Remember, also, to be on the lookout for the little green fellows that destroyed our partner in crime.

Imitation 3: Little green fellows? You mean like those?

(Zoom in to Plankton and Billy as they pull themselves out from the pile of gold. The imitations immediately point rockets at them.)

Plankton: (whispering) We should have planned this out better.

Billy: (whispering) We? I'm an accomplice at worst.

Imitation 4: You have a lot of nerve coming around here.

Plankton: And you have a lot of nerve attacking the fine citizens of New Kelp City!

(Imitation 4 shoots a rocket a Plankton, which he's quick to dodge.)

Plankton: Your silly little missles don't scare me!

Imitation 5: What about this?

(Imitation 5's arm transforms into a complex machine of rockets and bazookas and flamethrowers.)

Plankton: Yeah, I'm kind of afraid of that. RUN!

(Billy and Plankton attempt to slide behind the curtain, but one of the imiations blocks their path.)

Imitation 6: (wags finger) Uh-uh-uh. (punches Plankton)

Billy: Plankton!

(Imitation 6 kicks Billy into the pile of gold, and Billy angrily throws a gold bar at the imitation in response, knocking its head off. As Imitation 6 confusedly looks for its head, Plankton takes the oppurtunity to shove his spinning propellor cap into the imitation's exposed circuits, blowing it up.)

Billy: Quick thinking, Plankton!

Plankton: All in a day's work.

Imiation 7: Wait, why are we standing here? Get them!

(The imitations shoot rockets at Billy and Plankton as they climb up the curtain and jump onto a hanging lamp.)

Billy: If those things keep up their assault, we won't be swinging here much longer!

Plankton: Don't worry! I've just come up with another idea.

Billy: Great! What is it?

Plankton: We're going to fall!

Billy: (pauses) I don't like that idea.

(A rocket breaks the last of the lamp's support. It collapses on the remains of Imitation 6, leading to an intense electrical explosion that sends the gold everywhere. The resulting fire covers the theater in smoke, and as the imitations attempt to collect their profits, the sprinkler system goes off and electrocutes them all.)

(Cut to the back door of the theater. Billy and Plankton, covered in ashes, crawl out.)

Billy: (coughs) It's a wonder how we survived that ordeal.

Plankton: (coughs) The good guys always live, my friend.

(Plankton looks up and sees another wanted sign, this time with a sketch of SpongeBob SquarePants on it.)

Plankton: CheeseHead BrownPants? I don't even want to know what SpongeBob did here to become a public menace.

Billy: SpongeBob? That's the guy that got my brother Kevin kicked out of his jellyfishing club! (notices Plankton's stare) He's a nerd. You get used to it. But man, my days with him and the folks were some of the best days of my life. Fighting robots and being on the run is good and exciting and all, but nothing can compare to good old-fashioned family fun. Sweet Neptune, I miss my family. I haven't even talked to them since I got locked up. They must be worried sick. Would you be alright if I broke off to visit them?

Plankton: Sure. Even though my family's full of idiots, I know what it's like to be homesick.

Billy: Thanks. I'll be at Condo Island, if you ever want to send me a postcard. (walks off)

Plankton: Yeah... a postcard.... (walks in the opposite direction)

(The End)

Now it's over.

Posted

Somehow the first part of the Pilot episode was misplaced, probably due to all the movings of SBC. So, I re-premiere the first part of Plankton: Across The Seven Seas' Pilot Part 1.

"Pilot: Part 1"

Narrator: Previously on SpongeBob SquarePants:

(SpongeBob and Patrick run into the Chum Bucket and look around.)

SpongeBob: Plankton?

Karen: (rolls into the room) He's on vacation. What is it you need?

SpongeBob: I just wanted to know if you saw who robbed the Krusty Krab.

Karen: I am a computer. I can't see anything.

SpongeBob: Well, thanks anyway, Karen. Come on, Patrick. We have music to face.

(Bubble transition to a bus stop. It's night and it's raining. A bus speeds by, and Plankton is left over wearing a hat and holding a suitcase.)

Plankton: Nothing clears the mind better than a week with the relatives.

(Plankton stuffs his hat into his suitcase and starts walking to the Chum Bucket.)

Plankton: I have enough evil plans now to last me a lifetime! Mr. Krabs won't know what hit him!

(Plankton stops abrubtly. The Chum Bucket is shown with a giant "Closed" sign in front of it.)

Plankton: What the...? KAREN! (taps his foot) Oh wait, she doesn't have legs.

(Plankton walks into the restaurant and sees Karen in sleep mode.)

Plankton: AWAKEN, YOU WORTHLESS CALCULATOR!

Karen: (waking up) It's nice to see you again, too, Plankton.

Plankton: What is going on here? That closed sign is going to turn off potential customers.

Karen: Potential customers? That's rich.

Plankton: (angrily) Don't make me dismantle you!

Karen: Alright, don't get your diapers in a bunch.

Plankton: (crosses arms) I'll have you know that I stopped wearing diapers 10 months ago!

Karen: I know. I'm the one who changes you.

Plankton: (scratches chin) Oh, right. Well, get on with it! Why's there a closed sign out front?

Karen: Because the restaurant is closed.

Plankton: (waves arms wildly) ACCORDING TO WHO?

Karen: According to the government.

Plankton: What?

Karen: Here. They left a note.

(Karen prints out a letter, which Plankton rips out and reads.)

Plankton: Dear valued citizen, blah blah blah blah, yadda yadda, yup yup. What kind of foreign langauge is this?

Karen: It's government language, sweetie. Just run it through my Government to English tranlator and I'll read it for you.

(Plankton puts the letter back into Karen and the text "Dear valued citizen, blah blah blah blah, yadda yadda, yup yup." appears on the screen.)

Karen: Begin message. Dear walking tax dollars, it has come to our attention that you have been operating a fast food restaurant with an expired business license. So you don't start getting the idea that you actually live in a democracy, we have no option but to come over and shut your restaurant down. With love, the government. End message.

Plankton: (rips off antennas) This is horrible! How am I going to run Krabs out of business without a business to run him out of business with?

Karen: Plankton, maybe this all was a sign.

Plankton: A sign that I shouldn't go 7 years without renewing my licenses?

Karen: Well, yeah. But also a sign that you should quit worrying about Mr. Krabs.

Plankton: But I'm this close to getting him. My next plan can't fail!

Karen: That's what you said about your last 468 plans.

Plankton: Geez, has it been that long? I mean, get off my back, woman! If I can't run Krabs out of business by selling Krabby Patties, I'll figure out another way to do it!

Karen: (rolls eyes) Of course you will.

Plankton: I will, gosh darn it!

Policeman: (from outside) Who's in there?

Plankton: Oh, shoot! It's the po po! I've gotta get out of here!

Policeman: Stay right where you are!

(Plankton slips into a mouse hole as the policeman breaks the door down.)

Policeman: Hello? (points his gun at Karen)

Karen: I am a computer. I cannot speak.

Policeman: Well, then it must have just been the wind. (walks out) Indoor winds. Who'd have thunk it?

Karen: You can come out from hiding now.

(Plankton peeks out from the mouse hole then fully departs.)

Plankton: Now, where was I?

Karen: You were telling me how you'd figure out another way to get your butt kicked by Mr. Krabs.

Plankton: Oh, right! Yes, I've got it now. And it's delightfully devious. (laughs maniacally) Also, shut up.

(Cut to the Krusty Krab. Plankton is carrying a rolled-up sheet of paper and tape. He puts the items on the ground, runs offscreen, and comes back with a ladder. He picks the stuff up, walks up the ladder, and tapes the paper to the door. He then walks down the ladder and runs offscreen. He walks back onscreen with the "Closed" sign, which he proceeds to stick into the ground. He jumps on top of the sign, continues jumping to get it deeper in, and laughs while he does so. Thunder booms and lightning flashes.)

(Cut back to the Chum Bucket.)

Plankton: As you see from that unnecessarily long action, Karen, I plan to make Krabs think the government shut his restaurant down. He'll have no choice but to surrender!

Karen: I've come up with exactly 94 scenarios for this plan's failure.

Plankton: I've come up with exactly one scenario for your system's failue. Me shutting it off!

(Plankton unplugs Karen.)

Plankton: See? I can be clever, too. Ha ha ha ha ha. (bends head left and right for each "ha")

(Plankton jumps to the window and sees Mr. Krabs walking down the street and humming "Blow the Man Down")

Plankton: Looks like he's here!

(Plankton runs over to the Krusty Krab and hides in a nearby bush.)

Mr. Krabs: (spots the sign) Shiver me timbers!

SpongeBob: (running down street) I'm ready-eddy-eddy-eddy-huh?

(SpongeBob catches up with Mr. Krabs, who's reading the note.)

SpongeBob: Why's there a closed sign out front, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: According to this letter, the government shut us down!

SpongeBob: (looks at the note) I can't make any sense of this!

Mr. Krabs: It's government language, boy! You'd have to be some kind of an idiot to not know that!

(Plankton clears his throat.)

SpongeBob: Did you hear something?

Mr. Krabs: This isn't the time to worry about ghosts, lad! We have bigger problems at hand!

SpongeBob: (shrugs) Why's the governemt shutting us down, anyway?

Mr. Krabs: Apparantly, our license is expired. Didn't I tell you to keep that thing up to date?

SpongeBob: But I did!

Mr. Krabs: The blahs don't lie, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: (crying) I'm sorry! This is all my fault!

Mr. Krabs: Of course it's all your fault! I should have never trusted you! Now we're all out of work!

SpongeBob: Can't you just buy a new license?

Mr. Krabs: (points at himself) Do I look like I'm made of money?

(Cut to a close-up of Mr. Krabs in which his head is literally a pile of money with eyes.)

SpongeBob: I...I don't know! (cries again)

Mr. Krabs: Your tears aren't going to bring me restraunt back. Man up!

Squidward: (walks onscreen with a disturbingly large grin) So, the government finally shut your illegal operation down, huh?

Mr. Krabs: Put a sock in it, big nose!

Squidward: Gladly. (walks offscreen laughing)

Mr. Krabs: Well, if you need me, I'll be selling drugs in the alleyway. (follows Squidward offscreen)

SpongeBob: (sniffs) Goodbye...Krusty Krab. (follows Mr. Krabs offscreen with his head down)

(Plankton just stands in the bushes with his mouth gaping open for the next few minutes.)

Plankton: I...did it. I finally put my archenemy out of business! Oh, gosh! I've never felt such joy in my life! Whoopee!

(As Plankton dances in excitement, a hobo walks in front of the bush and looks around. Seeing that the coast is clear, he unzips.)

Plankton: (looks up) Wait a minute! No! Don't!

(Water is heard sprinkling as the hobo breathes a sigh of relief. Plankton screams the whole time.)

(Cut to the Chum Bucket. Plankton walks in with yellow stuff dripping from him. He dries himself off with a napkin and turns Karen back on.)

Plankton: So, I was just given a golden shower.

Karen: Congratulations. How did the plan go?

Plankton: It worked perfectly, in fact. Mr. Krabs is finally out of business. What do you have to say to that?

Karen: Great job. It only took you 20 years.

Plankton: (scoffs) Haters gonna hate.

Karen: Well, don't let me interrupt your party, certified gangsta.

Plankton: Whatever! Now that Mr. Krabs is gone, I can finally sit back, relax, and enjoy my life as a college-educated person who went to college.

Karen: That joke's not old.

Plankton: It will never get old, Karen! Recognize!

(Bubble transition to the park. "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong begins to play. Plankton is jumping from flower to flower in a meadow with a blissful look on his face. In the middle of a jump, a worm catches him in his teeth. Bones are heard breaking as Plankton screams bloody murder.)

(Cut to SpongeBob's house. He's laying nonchalantly in his bed, playing paddleball.)

SpongeBob: Just 9,998,559,671,349-48-47 to go.

Gary: (groans) Me-ow.

(Cut to the park's swingset. Plankton is sitting on one of the swings, attempting to move it, to no avail. A very large child walks onscreen, and thinking that Plankton's swing is available, jumps right on. Plankton screams again.)

(Cut to Squidward's house. He paints a portrait of himself and sighs peacefully, then throws the portrait into a trash can filled with others.)

(Cut to a mini-golf course. Plankton manages to make a hole in one. While he's cheering, the camera zooms out to show that he's in a larger hole in a larger mini-golf course. Nat's playing in that golf course, and he manages to make a hole in one. More screaming ensues.)

(Cut to Patrick's rock. Patrick wakes up with his stomach grumbling.)

Patrick: I wonder if Squidward locks his house at night... (the music stops playing)

(Cut to the Chum Bucket. Plankton, wearing a full-body cast, jumps in.)

Karen: How was the park?

Plankton: (furious) HOW DO YOU THINK IT WAS?

Karen: Wow, you sure are loud for someone with crushed lungs.

Plankton: (lays down in a bed and groans) Is a nice day at the park too much to ask for?

Karen: When you're the primary antagonist of the show, yes.

Plankton: But what's the point of being an antagonist when you have nobody to antagonize? There is none! With Krabs out of business, my only purpose in life is to be worm food! (raises an arm with bite marks on it)

Karen: Goodness, Plankton. Even when you aren't a complete loser, you just can't stop whining.

Plankton: But it's not fair. Even when I should be happy, I'm completely miserable.

Karen: What makes you happy, Plankton? That's what you need to know.

Plankton: What makes me happy? Going after that cheapskate all the time, sending his world for a spin, making sure he doen't have a day of rest. It's fun, it's reliable, it's something I've just completely screwed up! (cries)

Karen: If you want to annoy Mr. Krabs so badly, just tell him what you did. You two will be bickering like children again in no time.

Plankton: Honesty? No way! That goes against my code!

Karen: What code?

Plankton: My...code. You know. It's...used for...things.

Karen: You're not making any sense.

Plankton: You just wouldn't understand, Karen. It's a guy thing. And a flesh and blood thing. So, telling the truth is out. (thinks for a second) But don't worry, Karen. I have a plan that will satisfy my villianous urges and keep Krabs on the streets!

Karen: (monotonous) Please, oh wonderous husband. Tell me what your magnificent plan is.

Plankton: I will! Now, you may remember the famous Imitation Krabs I built some time ago.

Karen: Go on.

Plankton: Well, I'm rebuilding it, this time without that pesky coin-operated self-destruct and with...

(Plankton struggles out of his bed, jumps to his cabinet, and pulls a test tube filled with a red liquid out from it.)

Plankton: The DNA of Ol' Eugene Krabs himself! (laughs maniacally)

Karen: (pauses) Why were you storing Mr. Krabs' DNA in your cabinet?

Plankton: I don't tell you how to live your life, Karen! Anyway, once my wounds heal, I will begin work on what will undoubtably be my GREATEST PLAN EVER!

(Plankton begins to laugh maniacally again. Thunder booms and lightning flashes.)

(Cut to commercial.)

Posted

Why did you abandon it?

I guess I just lost interest. It wasn't exactly the easiest show to write.

Posted

A newer member taking notice of this series? I'm in the Twilight Zone!

  • Like 1

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