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022a. Dad's Stache Stash

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It's not unusual for someone to want something they don't have, and Patrick is no exception. Patrick wants a mustache the same way his Grandpa, Dad, and even his MOM have! So, Cecil decides that until such time that Patrick is able to grow one of his own; he can borrow one of ANY of the mustaches from the LONG history of the Star family; except for ONE that is of the "Dastardly Whiplash" variety! In this episode, we learn that Cecil is a firm believer of "Experience Is The Best Teacher", as Cecil doesn't even BOTHER explaining why Patrick shouldn't use the "Dastardly Whiplash" mustache (and given the track record that Patrick makes even AFTER someone tells him something and Patrick does it ANYWAYS, Cecil really isn't THAT far off!) We get to see Patrick with a "Miami Vice" mustache, a motorcycle mustache, a Theodore Roosevelt mustache, a Salvidor Dali surrealistic mustache (complete with "Persistence Of Memory" reference), and even a MOOSE Stache! Of course, Patrick INEVITABLY has to try the "Dastardly Whiplash mustache; and similar to the "Looney Tunes" cartoon short "Bugs' Bonnets", THAT mustache winds up altering Patrick's personality to be that of an old time movie villain; and Patrick kidnaps his Mother, Sister, Grandpa, Rube Goldfish, and four audience members, and ties them to the railroad tracks! Thankfully, Cecil's Mustache has "Mustache Senses", and he rushes to STOP Patrick from using a train to run those sea creatures over, but DOESN'T untie them from the tracks first, as THAT would ruin the "Rule Of Drama". Eventually, Cecil has no choice but to shave, and completely DESTROY the "Dastardly Whiplash" mustache! And, we get to find out how STRONG Cecil's mustache is, as he's able to use it to STOP the train just in the nick of time! The episode would've been a 9.9 out of 10...if Rube hadn't got HIT by another train at the last minute, which bumped it down to 9.5 out of 10. But since he's a reality warper in a show with lots of negative continuity, he'll probably turn out just fine. Enough said, true believers!

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