TBC 2.0 and Billy Arc

[Aya♥]

First 14 episodes: https://www.sbmania.net/forums/topic/57327-tbc-10/

 

Episode 15: Written by: Aya, Date: February 24th, 2017

 

 

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP9hnH1lNEQ

 

"Hmm, so what is this all about again?"  The camera was fixated on the Snack House as it usually is when the Gintama anime crew need some seconds to fill for an episode.  Gintoki spoke first, not knowing where this was going.

 

"Don't you remember Gin-san?  This is our spin-off, TBC!  It was written about 10 months ago, yet hasn't been updated since June.  I'm sure you have to remember that epic adventure in Tokyo with the Ozu-san and the others!"  Shinpachi's enthusiastic voice rang out.

 

"The only reason this is being made is because our 4th season just begun on Gintama, and the writer finally got the urge to write about us again."  Kagura said, making a point.

 

"Kagura-chan!  We all promised to keep the 4th wall-breaking down a little bit for this episode!"  Shinpachi said.

 

"What are we even doing again?  We already shot the episodes for the 4th Season, why do I have to work again.  I just want some rest."  Gintoki yawned.

 

"I already told you, but you just don't seem to listen!  We left off with your fight against Ozu, and Pewdiepie showing up!"  Shinpachi retorted.

 

"Pewdie-what?  Sorry Pachi-boy, but you've gone and lost me on this one.  Guess I'm getting too old for this ::dolphin noise::."  Gintoki said with a lazy voice.

 

"Yeah, and I just got my nails done, and I don't want that Bazooka-Blowhard messing them up."  Kagura added.

 

"I can't even take you two seriously!  You're just prolonging the inevitable!  We've left crucial plots unresolved for far too long!  We finally get to continue them today if you would get up off your ::dolphin noise::!"  Shinpachi was starting to get all sweaty again.

 

"Oi, Shinpachi cool your jets.  We're getting up, you know we'll get there when we do."  Gintoki stands up, and you can hear him taking off a mic piece.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"YOU STOLE MY SUBSCRIBERS, YOU, PEWDIEPIE, ARE THE WORST YOUTUBER.  I AM NUMBER 1 ALWAYS."  Raj ran past the Amanto and got into his face.  "Wait a minute...you are not Pewdiepie at all!  You are an impostor!  Whew, that was a close one.  I thought ju were the real thing."  Raj wiped away the sweat from his head.

 

"Ah, it must be the hair, I styled it rather well."  the man moved the obvious hair-piece around, but it just ended up falling off.  It was actually revealed to be a bald, middle-aged man.

 

"Umibozu?!"  Yamazaki said out of complete shock.  "I thought you were hunting and killing Amanto...and why are you working with the likes of that guy?!"  Yamazki pointed at the blind purple midget.

 

"Yes, it's me.  I'll spare you the details, but he struck me a good deal.  He knows where my son is, and I'd like to have a real stern talking to with him."  Umibozu stepped down into the 7/11 with grace.  "Amanto, be gone or I'll obliterate each and every one of you."   Umibozu spiked his umbrella into the ground, making a thunderous noise.  The Amanto, along with many of the airships fled, leaving just the remaining main cast in the store.

 

"Who is that bald buff guy?"  Gonard asked,  "I need some serious abs like him, and Ozu."  Gonard flexed his pecks.

 

"That is the lone mercenary, Umibozu.  He is from a race of the most powerful creatures in the galaxy.  I wouldn't get so tangled up with him.  I also would like to breath."  Bansai answered, while still being choked out.  Umibozu walked over to Takasugi and Hijikata.

 

"Shinsuke, is this really the problem you relayed me about?  Not some unstable monster, or a super undying beast?  But instead I get the Shinsengumi.  I shouldn't even be helping you, in fact, I just wanted to sort out my problems with my son, not do your biding.  Considering your blindness, I could just walk away.  I was given enough information about his whereabouts, and in fact, I know he is here in Tokyo.  I'll send my reg-"  but before Umibozu could finish his speech, his own daughter walks by, brushing her teeth.

 

"Oi, hi Papi.  I'm just getting back to my place in the story."  Kagura said, casually walking into the restroom.

 

"OI, WHY WERE YOU CUTTING INTO THIS DRAMATIC SCENE, THIS ISN'T SOME MOVIE OR TELEVISION SHOW!"  Hijikata yelled at the China girl.

 

"Yeah, yeah, alright where were we Bazooka Boy?"  Kagura was looking at her make-up in the bathroom mirror.

 

"Well, you do look really nice dude."  Kiyoko said while on top of Sadaharu.

 

"SOUGO, ARREST EVERYONE IN THAT BATHROOM!"  Hijikata yelled.

 

"Alright, whatever you say Vice-Chief.  So uh, who's going to be first?  I guess I'll just arrest this monster in drag."  Sougo slapped handcuffs onto Elizabeth.

 

"ELIZABETH, NO!  I CAN'T BELIEVE THOSE PIGS BAGGED YA!"  Katsura broke down on the dog's back.

 

"We can still ride away"  Elizabeth had a sign in her mouth.  While Sougo was reading it, Kagura grabbed Brozu and hopped back on Sadaharu.

 

"AWAY WE GO!  GOOD JOB SADAHARU!"  Kagura yelled as the dog galloped down the street.  The 5 were heading for LilyMu towers to get Ozu and Gintoki.

 

"Ozu, don't leave the penthouse, we comin for you."  Kiyoko shot him a text.  As she was making out the text, a loud siren and large explosions were happening just behind them.

 

"Our fight isn't ending this early China Girl."  Sougo casually said, while driving like an absolute maniac.

----------------------------------------------

The scene cuts back to the 7/11.  Everyone was acting rather quiet after that whole ordeal.  The store was an absolute disaster, except for the back rooms, which were the restrooms and the freezer area where they stored their beer and alcohol.  No one was paying attention back there, except for Raj, who really needed a drink after this.

 

"Woah dadada...this is a real crazy day, what could possibly happen next.  I'm only just the most popular Youtuber.  This should just be a normal day for supercodplayer1995."  Raj looked up at the freezer door and was greeted by two lovely gentlemen.

 

"Say, Abuto, isn't it kind of cold in here?  I thought we were just going to get a jug of milk and bounce?"  Kamui said with a smile.

"Well, it is a freezer Chief.  Don't worry, I got the gallon right here."  he held up the jug with his robotic arm.

 

"This stupid door won't budge!"  Kamui said, trying to restrain his anger.

 

"Well, I think we should just hang back while all this commotion dies down, Chief."  Abuto suggested, handing Kamui is coat to keep his commander warm.  The door had debris blocking the outside, but the two were still visible to the greatest youtuber ever.

 

"WHAT! I HAD CUSTOMERS THIS WHOLE TIME?!"  Raj's voice was drowned out by the sound of a helicopter above.  It was a news helicopter.

"This is F.B reporting for 9 SkyNews!  And boy do we have a scoop!  This 7/11 in downtown Tokyo is in absolute disarray.  Now my expertise may be in color commentating, but I know a huge news story when I see one folks!"  the helicopter was floating just above, capturing everything on camera.

------------------------------------------------------------------

The scene cuts to Ozu standing in his living room, by himself.  "Hmm, I could have sworn that silver-haired samurai was just here a minute ago."  Ozu looked around.  The camera panned off-screen to show Gintoki snoozing on a chair, 

 

"OI Gintoki!  What the hell are you doing!"  the scene stops, Shinpachi walks into view, even though he should be on the ship with the others.  "You can't take breaks while the other events of the story are happening!  Wake up!"  Shinpachi kicked the chair out from under Gintoki.  "AND WHY ARE YOU LIVE ACTION ALL OF THE SUDDEN?!"

 

"I wanted the camera to capture my good side for when the Gintama Live Action movie comes out later this year, please buy tickets."  Gintoki plugged his movie.  The scene resets to normal with Ozu and Gintoki.  Guano was in the other room, doing who knows what.  Ozu and Gintoki shook each others hands.

 

"I know a real warrior when I see one, and you sure as hell are a fighting one for your family, and I can respect that."  Gintoki said with a grin.

 

"As are you, Mr. Yorozuya.  You care for your friends as if they were all your family."  Ozu said, grinning back.  While their heartfelt moment was nice, it was completely interrupted by and elevator smashing through the roof and landing in the kitchen.

 

"WHAT IN THE WORLD?!"  Ozu was in so much shock, that not even a single flame would come out.  The elevator door dinged, and out stepped two dizzy, and confused men.

 

"DESTROYING MORE OF MY PENTHOUSE, YOU WILL ALL PAY FOR DAMAGES!"  Madao looked at his empty pocket.

 

"Don't worry sir, the Shinsengumi will help pay and work off this damage, I'll be sure of it."  Kondou said, bowing.  "I too lost something today...love."  Kondou said, thinking about Otae.

 

"That was just some duck, you know that right."  Gintoki said, staring blankly at the elevator.

 

"I don't believe a single word you say samurai!"  Kondou said, sounding very confident.

 

"What is with the helicopter, huge fire, and huge smoke ball coming from down the street over there?"  Hasegawa was finally getting to his senses.

 

"That has the be the 7/11 where I make Yes Man get my morning sandwich every Thursday!  WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?!"  Ozu was distraught.  He heard his phone vibrate and checked that it was Kiyoko's message.  "Ah, makes sense now."

 

TBC

 

 

Episode 16: Written by: Cha, Date: February 24th, 2017

 

 

 

 

"Ten long months......." Hasegawa stated.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE_o0a2IqsM

 

"Hmm?" Everyone briefly looked at him.

 

"It was ten long months Kondou-san and I were trapped in an elevator..." Madao looked at the ground in a grim way, but then chuckled slightly. "At first, I felt so sorry for myself. That the reason I got into this mess was all because of my bad luck in general. Between my wife separating from me, losing my high esteemed governmental job, all the countless times I've tried to regained what I've lost..... I thought finally God had due me in for a slow and painful death stuck in a small room. No one wanted to come to my rescue and at first it killed me inside. I felt like in the womb of the Grim Reaper himself, slowly fading away with my companion next to me. Even his ever bright optimism was drained. But then I realized my purpose in life. It's to show others where not to fall, where not to go. If I could have led others by my example, I thought maybe there was hope to get out of this small cube once and for all... I put my entire body's strength into pushing the elevator upwards for several months. Eating only cigarettes and whatever extra clothes be necessary to not have a fatal experience.. I needed to live. This Madao needed to see the beautiful petals of blooming. And he did...." 

 

"OHOHOHO TOSHI! I wish you were here to see this lovely little girl!" Kondou said. Everyone had stopped paying attention eons ago, as there was an adorable tiny lady bug on the floor that just had to be everyone's focus. Madao sunk low and huddled himself in a corner.

 

"Eh screw it, not like those were the best gasoline sandwiches I've ever had." Ozu said.

 

"PURE GARBAGE!" Yes Man chimed in.

 

The old man put his phone on silent and tossed it on the couch far away. "If you need me I'm going back to work.

 

"But, but I wanted to stay and watch the drama unfold! I love drama, especially the angry kind!" Yes Man pleaded.

 

"Fine, but I'm gonna have to deduct at least 60% of your pay of today for this." Ozu offered.

 

"It's okay! I work for free anyways!" Yes Man said happily.

 

"NANI? You're just gonna miss all the action?! We waited 10 LONG MONTHS FOR SOMETHING AS ANTICLIMACTIC AS THIS!?" Shinpachi declared.

 

"Oi, Pachi-Boy, I thought you didn't want anymore 4th wall jokes." Gin added in a bored state of mind now and picked his nose with his pinky.

 

"If I texted back every time that pathetic mangka insisted, do you think I'd still have my mind in tact? How do you think I'd been married all these years?" Ozu chuckled at the small child and patted his shiny hair.

 

"Weren't you like separated for like 98% of that time...?" Shin failed to see his logic.

 

"I gotta go.." Ozu made a sad face as he closed his office door.

 

"Hey guys!" Guano came back into the living room with a fresh new suit. 

 

"Ozu Junior!" Yes Man zipped over there in less than a millisecond and knocking over Shin. He hugged Guano tight enough to almost be choking him. But ym's hyper active mind made him drop him and zip over to the ladybug.

 

"Guano! That was amazing! You actually took your suit off!" Shinpachi was proud of the fellow little straight man and went over to pat him on the shoulder but he pushed it away.

 

"No I didn't. That never happened. Nope." Guano said reassured.

 

"Uh yes it did...." Shinpachi didn't buy it of course.

 

"No, see Shinpachi?"

 

"YOU CAN'T JUST REWRITE SOMETHING SET IN STONE JUST BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT!!" Shinpachi couldn't believe his eyes as the midget was literally altering the story. 

 

"Well how come you're not with the others on the ship hmm Shinpachi? Not everything has to be set in stone when the writers of this story probably don't recall most of this back." Guano sassed.

 

Gin had fell asleep on an expensive ::dolphin noise:: furniture during all of this filler but then realized something. "Hey, this story is not going anywhere." But didn't care and fell back asleep in one second later.

 

Suddenly there was burst through the front door of the penthouse. 

 

"STAND BACK INTRUDER!" Yes Man armed himself with a near by orange and stood near the door.

 

"Didn't want to break anything, that would be impolite." A mustached man walked through the door with a determined look on his face. He swung around to close the door gently but he accidentally broke a vase with his large umbrella. "Oops." He swept the broken item behind the stand it was on.

 

"OOOOH! I can't believe it!" Kondou got his excitement going, he zoomed over to him. "Umibozu! It's been so long since the Shinsengumi have seen you!" 

 

"Kondou-san..." Hasegawa said after snapping out of his depressed state. The gorilla like man was confused at what he was talking about at first but then looked down at himself. 

 

"Forgot, I ate all my clothes during those 10 months." Kondou loudly laughed it off and just stood there, bare butt cheeks and all as everyone tried not to look.

 

"So....?" Shin added.

"Hm??" 

"AREN'T YOU GONNA PUT ON SOME CLOTHES?!" 

 

"As a matter of fact, I saw your leading man not that long ago at the market store along with quite a number of colorful characters. " Umibozu replied, putting his umbrella down on the Gin's sleeping face. "I have some of them waiting for me to hurry up now actually."

 

"Really?! Toshi and the others are still here? After 10 whole long, ugly months of inactivity between both the creators of this story!?" Kondou said happy to hear about his men after so long.

 

"Can we PLEASE STOP BREAKING THE WALL?! AND CAN YOU PLEASE PUT ON SOMETHING ON KONDO-SAN?!" Shin begged.

 

"I told you old man, I already fixed your wall don't sue me, I have a live-action movie coming up soon...." Gin mumbled in his sleep.

 

"So why are you here?" Guano asked, quite use to having random strangers enter his house by now.

 

"My, what kind of strange looking amanto..." Umibozu examined Guano up close despite the little director being very uncomfortable by being looked up and down. But then switched to Yes Man who was still armed with an orange. "What are you, a Godefridus Camerarius and a Lemniselenis Virginius?" He asked both the boys.

 

"No silly, I'm a yes man!"

 

"No the strangest of all, OldManius Spermius and OldMan Kissassius." Gin said, unclear if he was still sleep talking.

 

"Oh yes.. I need to see that man who lives here." Umibozu said going to look for him.

 

"How come?" Shin asked.

 

"An ancient prophecy about defeating an obese man regards the uniting of three paternal figures from different lands of life.." The Yato warrior said with dead-serious eyes. Suddenly a piece of paper fell out of his pocket and Shin picked it up.

 

"You literally got this from a fortune cookie..." He said with dead eyes.

 

"And the food here in Tokyo is delicious!"

----

"Hey Hamazaki, wanna get a bite to eat? I'm starved! " Gonard was still hanging around his close bud as the other Shinsengumi members

 

"Sorry Gonard, you know I have to get on this case. Kamui has been spotted around Tokyo and it's one of the only rare times he appears on Earth these days!"

 

"Yeah I've seen your show, he only appears like every 100 episodes at least!" Gonard exclaimed.

 

"Oi, Yamazaki-san." Hijikata urged him to hurry up and get in the car.

 

"Hey Gonard wanna come?" Yamazaki urged him.

 

"Boss, we probably shouldn't have any more ordinary citizens come with us. They've gotten involve in this long enough." A random ::dolphin noise:: lower rank officer told Hijikata.

 

"B-but!" Gonard said.

 

"You're right random ::dolphin noise:: lower rank officer, sorry mister but we can't risk anymore causalities from a terrorist such as this." Hijikata said with his cigarette in his mouth as always.

 

"Sorry.." Yamazaki said and Gonard was left alone while the police officers went to do their jobs.

 

"I helped a lot too you know.." Gonard said to himself and looked into a puddle at his reflection. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjYltr7CTDM

 

"All our adventures.. I felt like I truly was someone important when I was behind that chopper. And I had a real friend." Gonard sighed and then saw Lily and Mitsuki walking out of the 7/11, still shaken up by the battle before. 

 

"UGH, last time I have anything to do with aliens." Lily whipped off the dust and dirt from her outfit.

 

"Gonard, you okay buddy?" Mitsuki asked and placed a hand on his shoulder.

 

"Sure I'm fine.. wanna get some noodles guys?" 

 

"Sure whatever, anything is better than in this dump." Lily said annoyed.

 

"HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Raj yelled insulted from a distance.

---

Meanwhile far away in space a trading goods ship was flying across the stars. The persons on board had been use to space life for several months now, working accordingly to the ships' job. All the companies' products were destroyed when it collided into a building so long ago, but time of very hard work had restored it all.

 

"I miss my friends." An orange haired individual said looking out the window overlooking a nebula in the mess hall. He was now a well trained sellsman at everything from furnished goods on Earth to rare and exotic plant life from distant galaxies. Suddenly a man with a goofy haircut and glasses placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

 

"HAHAHAHA! Don't worry Mikey-san. I'm sure things are going better now on earth, maybe they finally captured my old Joui buddy! That crazy little rascal and his genocidal deeds!" 

 

Mikey looked even more sick.

---

"Ugh, why isn't that old man picking up?" Kiyoko moaned between bazooka shots that would fly over their heads. "And to think all the times I let him beat me at publicity event debates, awards! Mario Kart!"

 

"Are you sure you didn't just lose yourself?" Brozu chuckled. Another Bazooka shot flew over their head and frightened Kiyoko latched onto him. "Hey woa, I think ya got the wrong twin. I'm just the one you visit on holidays." He laughed.

 

"I gotta tell Gin-san the big news.... they didn't even have kelp at that crumby 7/11!" Kagura said visibly annoyed. "I'm turning back!" She said and they almost got hit by a bazooka shot. Frazzled Kiyoko pulled Sadaharu back in the direction they were going.

 

"Leader, I know hunger waits for no man, but we must continue on! Plus I heard that old man has much, much food stored away for the winter." Katsura said very seriously while riding on top of running Elizabeth.

 

"Did you say No Man?! Man, I wonder where that guy is, I haven't seen him all day!" Brozu said as suddenly Sadaharu dead stopped in front of someone and started growling a little. Sougo had flied right past them but was turning back.

 

"Dog dude! Are ya like a physic or something hahaha!" Brozu said looking at the person.

 

No Man stood right before them with a rather dry look. "Hello Brozu."

 

"No Man, man, where have ya been? And since when do you say anything but 'oh no'? Speakin' of which, I can't go an entire day without someone to say 'Oh no' by mah side whenever I need to make decisions on which drink to get and which girl to drank haha juknowhaimean?" 

 

"Just been busy, you know I take off every third Wednesday of the month." No Man said still in front of growling Sadaharu and the unsure others except Brozu who laughed the awkwardness off.

 

"Yeah hah, I always wonda why ya did that." 

 

"You know, getting in touch with a few friends and such...." No Man moved to the side a little and two figures from the darkness emerged. One with red braided hair, the other with a diet Coke in his hand, looking displeased with the drink.

 

"Kamui-san?!" Katsura said surprised.

 

"Big brother...?" Kagura said wide eyed.

 

"Well isn't this a pleasant surprise. Four Yatos in Tokyo, plus my old man trying to stalk over me being five Yatos! That probably beats the record ever." Kamui said with a smile on his face.

 

"But if there's only three of you here and your father somewhere else then who's the..." Kiyoko asked and then No Man smiled.

 

"Hey Brozu, wonder why I've always wore a cap and sunglasses, even when there's barely any daylight left?"

 

"Uhhhh because it's cool?" 

 

No Man pulled out a green umbrella and put it over his head, shielding his skin. 

 

"Where ya buy that cheap thing? Walmart? Dude it's overcast today! This guy's locooo!" Brozu did the finger cuckoo swirl and laughing again.

As he did so, No Man grabbed him by the shirt and flung him half way across Tokyo with ease. The others watched in horror. 

 

"Now then, who's next?" Kamui smiled.

TBC

 

 

 

Episode 17: Written by: Aya, Date: February 27th, 2017

 

 

 

 

Lily, Gonard, and Mitsuki take seats at a local noodle shop in downtown Tokyo.  It was a very underground spot, not many people know about it.  It was located just about a block away from Lilymu Studios, so the cast were regulars.  "The regular, WITH EXTRA MEAT!"  Gonard said, it was still thinking of his pal Hamazaki.  He rested his head on his hands and stared off in the distance.

 

"Don't worry Gonard, he has to do his job.  You guys can always meet up and hang out after this whole mess is solved!"  Mitsuki said, trying to console Gonard.

 

"Thanks Mitsuki, I'm glad I have other great friends like you, and Lily, and...wait a minute, where's Mikey at again?"  Gonard was looking all over the bar.

 

"That spazz is still at the tower with Ozu.  Don't worry about him, I'm sure he's doing just fine."  Lily said, slurping some noodles.

----------------------------------------------

 

"Yes, I'm going to need 500,000,000 units of jelly beans...No I will not negotiate a price!  I'm trying to run a business here.  Either you get me those jelly beans or you can find a new dealer...Good, I'm glad we can agree for once.  Please don't call me again unless you can complete a deal like this again."  Mikey turned off his speaker phone.  He was given his own office and title of Lieutenant Simon of the Kaientai.  Mutsu knocked on his office door and walked in.

 

"Lt. Simon, the captain would like to speak with you."  Mutsu said, blankly.

 

"Thanks Vice Capi Tan!"  Mikey popped up from his desk and made his way to the ship's front.  Sakamoto was staring outside the large windshield, nothing but space in front of him.  "The Big Muts said you wanted to speak with me?"  Mikey said.

 

"Yes...Mikey do you miss your home, in Japan?"  Sakamoto did not break is sight from the empty space.

 

"Well, yeah, I think of my friends all the time.  But I'm really starting to get used to the space life!  I've been here, what, 10 months?  It feels like it's been longer."  Mikey said, looking down to the ground.

 

"Mikey...do you wish to return home?  I don't want to force you into this harsh line of work, keep you away from your acting career.  I only did this as a plot device."  Sakamoto said, receiving a knuckle-sandwich from Mutsu for the 4th wall breaker.

 

"Well Captain, I think I could get used to this, you know?  I get to do what I want, and by myself!  I don't need anyone like Ozu telling me what to do all the time, and everyone else hogging my spotlight!"  Mikey said with glee.

 

"You know you are only a Lieutenant, right Simon?"  Mutsu said.

 

"That's even better!  I HAVE A TITLE!"  Mikey said.

 

"What about Kappa Mikey?"  Sakamoto said, again getting another fist to the face.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Umibozu took a seat next to Gintoki on the expensive ::dolphin noise:: furniture and turned the television to Channel 6 SkyNews to keep up with the latest updates.

 

"Can I wear this?"  Kondou came out to the living room wearing one of Guano's costumes on just his lower half of his body.

 

"NO! MY COSTUMES!"  Guano was a wreck.

 

"It's ok Ozu Junior!  I can always go and make you a new one!"  Yes Man said, getting out a sewing machine.

 

"No, it's fine, I have plenty..."  he glanced over and always saw Hasegawa wearing one while rummaging through the fridge.

 

"I haven't had real food in almost 11 years."  Hasegawa said, stuffing food into the head part of Guano's costume.

 

"You, yes, you are the yes man right?"  Umibozu pointed at the coolest kid.

 

"YES!"  YM said with joy.

 

"I need to see the parental figure.  The elder gods demand it."  he said, shaking his fist.

 

"More like a paper making factory!"  Shinpachi butted in.

 

"Go back with Tatsuma, please."  Gintoki groaned.  Shinpachi slumped down into another chair, it appears he had given up at this point.

Yes Man led Umibozu to the back office.  The living room was completely silent, Hasegawa was munching on food, Kondou was putting on more Guano costumes to fit the rest of his body.  Gintoki was snoring, Guano sat and stared at the television and turned up the volume.

"LIVE WITH CHANNEL 6 SKYNEWS, IT'S F.B. WITH ANOTHER BIG STORY!  I'm here on the ground where the scene of the destruction began!  This 7/11 was torn to shreds by the impact of dozens of giant ships!  I'm standing by with the owner of this store, Raj, who was an eye-witness to this travesty!  Raj, what do you have to say?"  F.B. handed the mic over to Raj.

 

"THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST DAY OF RAJ'S LIFE.  I, SUPERCODPLAYER1995, AM THE GREATEST YOUTUBER WHO EVER LIVED.  I AM WAY BETTER THAN PEWDIEPIE, AND MY 7/11 IS BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE'S.  THESE SHIPS DESTROYED MY BUSINESS AND RUINED MY FUNDS FOR MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL.  IT WAS ALL ORCHESTRATED BY THAT NO GOOD, SUBSCRIBER STEALING PEWDIEPIE!  I WILL HAVE HIS HEAD YET!"  F.B. took the mic back.

 

"And there you have it folks, we must find that Sweed and bring Justice!  Back to you Janet!"  F.B. signed off for now.  Guano turned the TV off.

 

"News these days."  Guano shook his head.  Guano looked around the room to see it dead.  Meanwhile, YM let Umibozu into Ozu's office.

 

"I am very, very busy right now."  Ozu was playing with his pen.

 

"Sir, I have come to your humble abode to fulfill the great Chinese prophecy laid out for us.  It says 3 parental figures from different lands will defeat the fat one.  I know it means me, you, and Gintoki."  Umibozu said.

 

"How do you know it is me?  Why not some other old Japanese man?"  Ozu said, putting his pen down.

 

"Well...uhm...it doesn't matter.  What matters is that you fit the bill."  Umibozu said, scratching his head.

 

"I just want to get work done, and I keep getting interrupted.  I hire a cleaning crew, and they destroy my house.  Today is not my dad, sir.  Now, please leave me alone."  Ozu said.

 

"No, you will not be couped up in this office all day.  What is happening out there is too important for you to miss.  Your cast, your wife, everyone is out there and you are in here, trying to escape from everything."  Umibozu put a hole through the door, trying to grab the handle. 

 

"Oops."

 

"MY OFFICE DOOR, YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT!"  Ozu started to get heated.

 

"Come and get me then."  Umibozu ripped his hand out of the door and kicked it into a million pieces and ran for the front door.

 

"GET BACK HERE!  YOU PEOPLE JUST CAN'T KEEP COMING IN HERE AND DESTROYING MY PROPERTY!"  Ozu kept chase for the Yato.  "YOROZUYA, YOU ARE GETTING YOUR LAZY ::dolphin noise:: UP AND HELPING ME OR YOU'RE NOT GETTING YOUR MONEY!"  Gintoki stood to attention and gave a salute.

 

"Come on Shinpachi, let's go!  We can't miss out on this dough."  Gintoki grabbed Shinpachi and high-tailed it.  All that was left was Guano, YM, Kondou, and Hasegawa.

 

"So, Ozu Junior, should we follow the boss man?"  Yes Man asked.

 

"Well, I kind of like it here.  It's actually calm here for once."  Guano retorted.

 

"No, I'm afraid I have to agree with the Yes Man.  I have to find her again, Tae is waiting for me in that wreckage."  Kondou said, standing up in front of Guano.

Guano ignored the lump of costumes on the commander, and stood up.  "Alright, Yes Man, do you have my medications?"  Guano said.

 

"No, I'm not your Yes Man."  Yes Man said, teasing Guano.  Guano looked disappointed and went to the bathroom.

 

"Can I stay back and eat...please?"  Hasegawa asked.

-------------------------------------------------------------

"N...No Man?  But why?  We've known you all this time and yet you reveal this to us now?"  Kiyoko was shocked, but not really surprised.

 

"Well, let me walk you back to yesterday, Kiyoko."  No Man said, instigating the flashback.

"Ahh!  N-n-n-n-o Man!  S-s-s-so good to see you again.  It's been q-q-q-q-quite some time!  How did you find us in this f-f-f-freezer?"  Kamui said, shivering.

 

"I gave you my coat Chief.  You shouldn't be that cold.  Anyway, how in the world is this Coke lukewarm in this freezer?  Is this magic?"  Abuto was examining the can.

 

"I had that gut feeling ya know?  It's my day off, and I feel like makin it permanent, ya dig?"  No Man said.  "Now come on, I know where to get that Break Dancin Fool and his pals."  No Man said.

 

"And so you have it, the flashback."  No Man said.

 

"Well, that was rather weird."  Kiyoko said.

 

"You want to end up like your brother-in-law, Kiyoko?"  No Man said, slinging his umbrella over his shoulder.

 

"N-no thanks."  Kiyoko hid behind Elizabeth.

 

"Leader...let me handle the Nah Man."  Katsura leaped off Sadaharu.  He drew his sword and took stance.

 

"Nice shine baldy!  You really remind me of that ::dolphin noise:: father of mine!"  Kamui said with a smile.

 

"Don't call me Nah Man, it's No Man."  No Man squared up with Katsura.

 

"So, are we going to duel or what idiot brother?  I'm not really in the mood to fight you."  Kagura sighed, sliding off of Sadaharu.  As she was doing so, Sougo finally caught back up with the gang.  He got out of his car and noticed the Yato crew. 

 

"Fun, more people in my way.  Do I really have to team up with this China chick?  She's not even tough."  Sougo said, getting a swift kick to the shin, nearly shattering it.

 

"Give me that bazooka you mop head."  Kagura grabbed it and shot the RPG right at Kamui, where he just gave it a large roundhouse kick, blowing it up.  The explosion caused Abuto to spill most of his Diet Cola.

 

"Well, that was a rather displeasing soda pop.  I'm mad, and glad at the same time that it is gone.  I'll take on the Shinsengumi, Chief."  Abuto said, walking over to Sougo.  "Well, this should be pretty easy.  The Chief's sister already took you out.  I should just pour the rest of this cola on your stupid mug."  Billy Ray said, pouring the soda, but was interrupted with a sword going through his robotic arm.  "Well, here we go again."  Abuto said, sighing.  Meanwhile, it was just Kiyoko and Elizabeth on top of Sadaharu.  Sadaharu woofed at Kiyoko as she looked down at him.

 

"I really don't and can't fight, and she's in handcuffs.  I say, take us to LilyMu tower please.  I'll give you all the fast food you can eat afterwards."  Kiyoko said, in a sweet voice.  Sadaharu began to run towards the towers.  "The voice works every time bruddah."

TBC

 

 

Episode 18 (Final Canonical Episode): Written by: Cha, Date: February 28th, 2017

 

 

 

 

 

 

Umibozu, Gintoki, Ozu, Guano fully medicated on anti-anxiety pills, Yes Man, Shinpachi (being dragged by Gintoki) were exiting the Lilymu Towers. None of them even noticing Yoshi's corpse still laying there after so long.

"Man it's good to be out of there finally! Felt like I was gonna burst with cabin fever." Guano stretched out his little furry arms.

"Speak for yourself small purple thing. Me and Hasegawa-san were trapped in an elevator for months! Although that wasn't the first

time we were trapped somewhere together, there was that island and, ohoho which reminds me, Odd Jobs! Did you ever get my New Years Cards for

THIS year?" Kondo said and held up a picture of him giving a thumbs up although he looked very weak and hungry. Hasegawa was lying on the floor.

"You... were able to send out postcards out from a broken elevator but you yourself weren't able to escape..?" Shinpachi answered when Gintoki was clearly ignoring the ape man.

"Which reminds me... I sent one out to..." Kondou stopped and blushed the thought. "I really hope she'll meet again with me someday."

"If you're gonna meet someone, shouldn't you get some new clothes? Uh.." Guano said, still phased at the fact that the large police man was wearing a bunch of his costumes. 

"That's a great idea! Come on Shinpachi-kun! We gotta look our best for when I propose to your sister!" Kondou grabbed him and sped off.

"WHAT!?! BUT THAT'S JUST ELIZABETH-CHAN AND WHY ME!?!?! OI!!" Shinpachi yelled as he was carried away.

--

They started walking about in Tokyo, anything was better than being in the Lilymu Towers the entire series.

"So what is this nonsense all about?" Ozu rubbed the palm of his hands against his face. "I have a lot of work to do."

"I'm surprised at you Mr. Ozu, the fate of Tokyo rests on our shoulders and all you can do is think about work." Umibozu said and accidentally hit his umbrella long stick on Gintoki's long stick. He fell to the floor with pain. "And you Gintoki! Just lying on the floor during this all! For shame."

"Yeah I'm just enjoying it down here baldy." Gintoki struggled to get back up.

"Mr. Alien Hunter, what is this thing that you're gonna be fighting? A large man or something? How do you know exactly where he is or even know why

you're fighting him? This sounds pretty illogical." Guano questioned.

"Kid, don't worry. It says right here on this magical scroll that the power within shall reveal who this monster is." Umibozu got out a small paper again.

"Isn't that just a fortune cookie paper?" Guano said and Ozu took it out of the yato man's hands.

"I can't believe this! You just got this from Howard's Noodles across the street! I know this bogus hand writing anywhere!" Ozu said and tore it up.

"HEY! THAT'S HOLY PROPHECY YOU JUST RUINED!" Umibozu said getting angry.

"MANUFACTURING NONSENSE!" Yes Man yelled from behind his big boss man.

"OI, IT IS. Pachi-boy WAS right. Who would have actually thought he would be? You know what I'm out of here, I don't need anymore of this ::dolphin noise::. Especially umbrellas to my balls." Gintoki and Ozu were about to leave when suddenly someone on a giant dog and a rather large dressed up duck halted right in front of them. They were literally two inches away and Ozu/Gintoki had feared for their lives.

"OI WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! YOU COULD HAVE RUN US OVER WITH THOSE LARGE PETS YOU-"

Gintoki remove the arms from his head and stood up. He saw a woman in the bright shinning light behind her and suddenly by a miracle his stick didn't hurt anymore.

"Boys!" Kiyoko said getting off of Sadaharu. Gintoki and Ozu both held out their arms like she was doing but passed by them. She went to hug Guano and Yes Man very tightly instead.

"Hi Mrs. Ozu! You look really pretty today!" Yes Man happily said unfazed by everything.

"Mama! where have you been? Where are the others who went to rescue you? I've been so worried about you!" Guano said concerned. In the background Sadaharu began licking Gintoki all over, excited to see him and also hungry.

"It's a long, long story my babies. But for now we gotta go help them!" Kiyoko said tapping their noses.

"What are you talking about Kiyoko?" Ozu said looking up and down at the strange crossdressing duck in front of him.

"There's a.. what do they call themselves again? Uuhh, Yatos! A yato war's blowing up my dude! There's at least four of them battling downtown!" Kiyoko said with fear in her eyes. "Granted it's probably one of the coolest things I've witnessed with my eyes and I'd be damned if I didn't convert some of it into manga stories later on with some killer graphic story telling and something that would easily blow out all the other action genre competition... Where was I?"

"Something about a Yato battle?" Guano said as she was still nuzzling them.

"Going into the unemployment line." Ozu said gravely.

"Oh yes. Thank you sweetheart and thanks lousy business man. Yeah it was huge!" Kiyoko said putting her arms up to show it.

"I probably could show you something huger.." Gintoki quietly said feeling defeated by the old man's presence. 

*Kagura, Katsura and Kiyoko's brother-in-law are in trouble.* Elizabeth signed once Umibozu broke her cuffs off with his strength.

"Four yatos?! My daughter!?!? Kamui is gonna have to learn proper edicate for people here in Tokyo.. His arrival must be linked with the prophecy.." Umibozu said adjusting his outfit, a strong, dramatic wind came in with the mood but moved his hair patch to the side of his head.

Like I said, I'm not doing anymore of this nonsense-" Ozu said but naturally got cut off by his business rival.

"Dude, Ozu, like it or not we have to help these people. If this is really Kagura's father then he must have super strength like the others! He can help. I'm in." She declared.

"Well if mama's in, I'm in. It's my duty as the Masked- I mean an ordinary citizen to help others out in times' of crisis!" Guano said heroically.

"If everyone's in, I'll come back in. Who knows what they're doing to Zura and the Kagura-chan! And I rrreeallly wanna come back in...come in.. where was i coming in again or who was i coming in again...?" Gintoki gushing over at Kiyoko and Ozu hit him in the back of the head enough to push his eyes out of their sockets.

"Guess I'll have to stick around, you never know when they'll be disgusting monsters around you to attack.." Ozu said with his hand up ready to strike the silver haired ::dolphin noise::-child if he stepped onto his territory ever again.

"Geez Old Man, I never took you for the jealous type. More like the uptight in his ::dolphin noise:: type." Dadtoki said rubbing his poor eyeballs but Yes Man hit him again for good measure.

---

Hasegawa couldn't believe it, everyone actually let him stay back at the Penthouse and just chill. That or everyone forgot about him... Either way he was psyched! 

"You bet as hell I am announcer!" Hasegawa plopped down with an arm full of snacks on the expensive ::dolphin noise:: sofa as he turned on the expensive ::dolphin noise:: TV with the expensive ::dolphin noise:: remote. He even got his clothes back in a shocking development!

After a few minutes of relaxing, the door bell rang. In a nervous sweat, Hasegawa thought to himself, if he rang the doorbell would it ruin his blissful state he was in for the first time in 10 months or 10 years? He couldn't take that chance. But the door was pounded on for a good 15 minutes. 

"Who is it!?!" He yelled from the couch.

The voice just laughed a little.

"Please... I'm tired and exhausted. Come back another day!" Hasegawa begged while eating a handful of Lays and watching the Wheel. But Hasegawa gave into his good nature and opened the door. He was shocked to see the two men behind it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JWw9hK1gzY

"Oh my god......... it's just the owner of the house's son.." Hasegawa went back to the couch and turned the volume up on Family Feud.

"Nani?? I am not him. I am Taka-" Takasugi said offended.

"And you must be the Bonsai repair man." Hasegawa said. "Yeah that thing looks like it was skipped on a few days of watering, better check it out.

Takasugi was about to put a katana to the his head when Madao actually grabbed it from him.

"Hey now! Don't be playing with your father's swords! You nearly chopped my head off. Now if I was you I'd go to my room like a good kid. And you Mr. Bonsai Repairman! Go do your job, I'm sure the old man would be quiet upset!" Hasegawa said.

Puzzled as ::dolphin noise::, the two terrorists obeyed him out of pure shock as the dude didn't even flinch at their presence. 

Hasegawa got up to get a few more sacks before the commercial break was over. 

"Oh hey look, they even have pitless olives!" He said happily. "Man this house has it all! I wish I could have rented one of these out to impress Hatsu." 

As he was reaching for them, he put his foot on the ledge of the fridge. From his weight, it toppled over, closed the fridge door and fell on top of his now aching body. Madao yelled for help from the other two, yet got no answer. He laid there, beyond words.... His nightmare would begin again...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE_o0a2IqsM

 

--

"Oi Hijikata-san. I think we might need some back up." Sougo said calmly on the phone as Kagura almost got punched her face in.

"CAN YOU KEEP UP?" Kagura yelled angrily to him.

"Nah it's fine, I think you got this." Sougo put his arms back to relax but then she fired a bazooka missile at him. He was black from the hit's smoke.

"Fine, fine. Make a man do your dirty work. Even in an age where women want to feel more independent, they still ::dolphin noise:: on a man's ::dolphin noise:: to do the job for them." Sougo said. He grabbed the blaster from her and tried aiming at Kamui who dodged every shot. The missiles hit buildings surrounding them and citizens fled in horror. "Oops."

...

"YOU FOOL! YOU'RE TRYING TO GO AGAINST THE ONLY PERSON WHO TRULY CARED FOR YOU?" Katsura said to No Man who had him cornered. Katsura's left arm was broken but he still fought strong. No Man looked like he had all the energy in the world.

"What are you talking about Baldy? Brozu? That chump never cared for me. He only used me to book party gigs, pay for drinks and to wait for him outside Love Hotels with a cab. Do you know how embarrassing that was for me?!"

"That he made you be his third wheel?" Baldsura said slightly cutting him with a katana.

"No that I wasn't allowed any fun of my own while he was having fun in there!" No Man said and then hit Katsura in the stomach with a loud blow. He coughed up blood and fell on the floor.

"All of you humans are alike. You just take, take, take without thinking if the other person would want to get something in return from all the taking." No Man said as Katsura noticed the sun slightly peaking through. 

"Well if you don't mind, I'll take just a few more things from you, bruddah." A badly hurt old man ripped away his green cap and sunglasses while he wasn't looking. No Man suddenly realized what happened but the sun had shined on him a little. It burned some off the skin off his face and he yelled in pain. Getting up, No Man whipped out his umbrella and stabbed Brozu in the stomach.

"That won't finish the job that easily." No Man said, pinning him on the floor with it.

---

Billy Ray- oops, Abuto ran across building tops as bypassers and residents were afraid and concerned. He located the Shinsengumi cars on a highway with ease and dropped 40 stories onto the ground into the front car. It blew up but Hijikata and Yamazaki managed to roll out of it in the nick of time. Fellow officers stopped traffic with signaling others to go another way. 

"OI just what the hell do you think you're doing Yato..." Hijikata slowly said, got up and pulled out his katana.

"Oh man, that soda is really upsetting my stomach now.." Abuto sighed and put his hand on his forehead. 

---

"We got to get out of here!" Lily yelled as the building had been shot by some sort of bazooka weapon.

"Wait!! My soup!" Gonard ran back inside for it as Mitsuki and Lily were trying to stop him.

The restaurant building was falling apart quickly and the girls called out for his name. Even asking by passers to help them, but everyone kept running. Some Shinsengumi members and Tokyo police yelled for the girls to leave. They had to take shelter themselves and quickly ran. Several minutes after everything fell, only rubble had remained. Lily and Mitsuki walked slowly up to the remains, both clinching onto each other. Even Lily was sobbing with her.

One of their closest castmates and friend had been crushed to pieces somewhere in that wreckage. It was too cloudy to see still, but they knew he was a goner. No question about it. That is until, they saw a tall shadow walking out. A jade colored amanto with muscular arms was carrying a knocked-out blue haired man over his one shoulder and slurping away a bowl with his free hand,

"OH ::dolphin noise:: was this seafood stew?" He wondered if he was considered a cannibal now for eating his own kind but drank anyways.

----

Mikey was working alone in his office, enjoying every single jellybean in his grasp. Why he worked for only jellybeans and not currency was his own deal. He was just happy to be able to control over people at free will and he used that power very often. Especially with him snapping lately at people under his control. The former Lilymu star played with several things on his desk in a bored and desperate state.

"YOU! BRING ME SEVEN OF YOUR OTHER CLOSEST FRIENDS!" Mikey yelled at one overweight man who had stumbled into his office.

"I'm just a janitor-"

"DO IT!"

The guy slowly made his way out with his mop and bucket with a squeaky wheel attached to it.

...

"It's been 45 minutes and the dude STILL hasn't come back here... UGH." Mikey said tapping his foot but then noticed the guy came back with what he requested.

"FINALLY!" Mikey yelled seven others. 

"Uh, we were on duty." One of them angrily said.

"This is so unfair, what makes you think you can pull us from work?" Another said.

"This is your ONLY duty that matters right now." Mikey said slamming his hands on his desk. "Now then, I want you all to try on this these new traded items I had custom made." Mikey got from his desk and handed each man an outfit. "PUT THEM ON!" They all hesitated but obeyed his rank. The large men came out a few minutes later in uncomfortable looking outfits.

"There! MUCH better!" Mikey said as the others looked beyond confused and disgusted. "Now go ahead and read these scripts I made!" The redhead handed those out too but the workers looked at him in a even more weird way. "DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Hi all, It's a great day to see you all in the sunshine today! Even with my phobia of all things living!" A man with Guano's costume mask on said.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA. Guano! You and your crippling fears! Hey Gonard!" Mikey laughed.

"Hey uh, Mikey. Would you like to have a sandwich with me? I made one for each of us." A Gonard looking man offered an invisible sandwich.

"Thanks Gonard, I'd be delighted to ol' chum!" Mikey exclaimed.

"Mikey I'm so glad to be with you today! Even though I don't know who I am.." A guy with a Mitsuki costume said.

"It's okay! We don't know who you are either." Mikey laughed.

"Oh Mikey you are such the kidster." The fake Mitsuki said.

"Mikey Simon, why aren't you saying hello to me? Your dear boss, Ozu?" Some dude in a cheap grey wig and suit said in a bored way.

"Oh yes I didn't forget about you Ozu." Mikey said smiling. 

"YES! Let us talk!" Fake Yes Man said reading it word from word.

"Or you Yes Man, haha."

"Don't say hello to that dork with the lame TV series, Mikey wanna read mint conditioned Captain Impressive comic books? I'll even let your greasy cheeto fingers on them." The Kiyoko imposter man said.

"Oh Kiyoko, you're too kind!" 

"Uhh, hello Mikey. How are you today?" A middle aged dude with blonde wig and really tight/short skirt said.

"I'm just fine! Thanks for asking. My do you look lovely today Lily." Mikey smirked and walked over to "her" seductively. "Say... how about we ditch these others and have a picnic of our own...?" Mikey said with wondering fingers on "her" shoulders.

"Okay that's enough!" The fake Lily said and the others agreed. The large men walked out murmuring the most nastiest words about Mikey.

"HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING! I'M TECHNICALLY YOUR BOSS!" Mikey said running after them.

"Well kiss our ::dolphin noise:: boss." Fake Mitsuki said before leaving.

"Great... now I'm really all alone... I really miss my friends.. I should stop hiding behind fake impersonators of my friends... even though that Lily one was turning me on a bit...okay a lot..." Mikey noticed that the janitor was still there doing his mopping job.

"HEY! Can't you see I'm wallowing in my own self pity here? BE GONE!" Mikey ordered but the man stayed quietly.

"Don't you know it's not nice to yell at people?" After a long gap of silence the janitor suddenly pounced after Mikey. Mikey tried to squirm away but the large man overpowered him. Before the ginger's frightened eyes, the janitor turned into a freaky black giant worm thing.

The creature entered Mikey through his mouth as Mikey fell on the ground, gasping for air. The dressed up crewman who came inside Mikey's office when they heard noise went to run away but were met with a black sticky tar fate, plastering their bodies on Mikey's office walls. The redhead gasped for air as organ and tissue in his body was moving at a rapid speed, feeling his blood drained from within. Within another millisecond Mikey's body had transcended into something hideous and large. With only the energy of one last breath, he inched his way to his hand mirror on his desk and picked it up.

Mikey started hyperventilating, not even having the strength to let out a scream. His whole face was at least ten times' it's size.

"Now let's try this again, you're gonna be my side anchorman named FM or I'm gonna transform you into something fatal. Come on, let's go! We have Skynews on in 15 minutes, fatso."

TBC

 

 

Billy Arc:

 

Episode 1: Written by: Aya, Date: October 4th, 2017

 

 

 

 

The scene pulls up behind a short man with long, orange hair, a taller, older gentleman, and an even shorter gentleman decked out in the latest fashion.

 

"Say, Chief, where are we heading to today?  Those slushes were kind of a dud you know."  Abuto slung his umbrella over his head.  The three were standing at a bus stop just outside of Tokyo.  The sun was out on the hot autumn day.  The three Yato stood side-by-side trying to shade themselves.

 

"Considering the author is making a detour from the original TBC, we could go anywhere!  Isn't that right, halfy?"  Kamui turned No Man's hat around in a teasing manner.

"Say, Big Man.  Why are you black and white?"  No Man asked.

 

"Feelin a little ackey today my dude."  Abuto said with his breaky heart.  Kamui stood up and threw his hands in the air.

 

"I'm not waiting on the ::dolphin noise:: bus to arrive.  We are walking, and where ever we end up, it happens!  As long as I get grub, I'm good."  Kamui signaled for his rag tag trio to tail him.  The three were soon strolling in stride to the beat of Walking on Sunshine.  

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKh0dLIuIu8

 

The three were having a good ol' time, taking huge strides, high-fiving each other and laughing all the merry way.  They knew they had just secured their own spin-off of the spin-off successfully!  As their sunshine march was at its peak, something caught Kamui's eyes.

 

"There!  There!  Come on Ossan and Halfy!"  Kamui grabbed both by their arms and dragged them down a dark alley-way.  "This is the perfect place for our 1st, well, 2nd adventure!"  Kamui pointed at a sign that said: "Totally Not a Secret Lair!"

 

"I don't know about this dog..."  No Man was looking mighty worried, but the persistent leader had other plans.

 

"Alright No-Man, you'll be going in first while me and Ossan take the back!"  Kamui shoved No-Man to the entrance of the "Secret Lair".  It was a red, velvet door seemingly glued into a brick building.  It was very out of place which made No-Man even more nervous.  He obliged to the Chief's orders, and slowly pushed the door in.

 

"Hey!  It opened no problem!"  No-Man said feeling relieved.  As No-Man said this, a voice echoed through the alley.

 

"NO!  DON'T GO IN THERE!"  Kamui and Abuto turned around to see a man, tattered suit and bloody.  He appeared to be a busy bee, an intern perhaps.  He spoke up again,  "You don't want to find out what lies beyond those red doors...It's not a good place to be.  I've...I've had the misfortune of going through those doors.  I somehow managed to leave with my life, but I have never been the same since..."  Kamui looked down and saw the man was carrying a cup of Starbucks with the name "Billy" scribbled on it with a star attached to the end of the Y.

 

"Why did you come all the way back to this door of torture, so to speak, with a cup of coffee no less, Billy?"  Kamui gave a smile at the man.  Billy looked at his coffee, then back at the Yato.

 

"Look, just...just TRUST ME!  That place is no good man...NO GOOD!"  Billy dropped his coffee and ran away screaming.  Abuto sighed and tapped Kamui on the shoulder.

 

"Let's go ahead in Chief, the homeless really need to be dealt with in this city."  Hasegawa could be heard crying somewhere in the Ozu residence.  The three marched into the red door with the utmost confidence, as if they owned the door.  They observed the surroundings, everything in the room was red velvet, much like the door.

 

"Is this some sort of love room?"  Abuto questioned, scratching his scruff.

 

"Yeah, it's my love room, baby!"  The three shot their heads to the far left of the room, where, much to their horror, they saw this:

 

"Socky?!"  No Man exclaimed.

 

"Why is there a giant sock puppet laying on a love bed?"  Abuto asked, confused yet slightly intrigued.

 

"It's me baby, the happening television mega star Socky!  I know, I know, a little star struck aren't we? I was waiting for some ladies, but my stupid intern Billy got in the way-ay!  What brings you guys here?"  Socky was now confused himself, assessing the situation.

 

"Oh, we're on an adventure!  Kind of hoping to find some bomb slushes.  The last ones we had kind of blew hard."  Kamui said, clinching his umbrella with rage.

 

"Sick of being side characters to the Big O's main story?  I hear you homie, don't worry, I've got a good tip on the slushes."  Socky was feeling rather generous in his love machine.  "I'll tell you this gangstas, I hear there lies a golden 7/11 in the mad harbor town of Osaka, you dig?"  Socky whispered it to the three Yato.

 

"You know, we are the only ones in the room, you could have told us normally.  I really didn't want to get near that bed."  Abuto said, cleaning his face with a rag.  Abuto noticed a small mini-fridge next to the bed.  "You wouldn't happen to have a Diet Coke in there, would you?"  Socky smirked.

 

"Thus, the Yato Trio were off.  Their own adventure has just begun.  The rumored Golden 7/11 of Legends lies somewhere in the large city of Osaka! (according to a giant sock).  Will our heroes find the fabled store?  Tune in next time for TBC Yato Three!"

 

 

Episode 2: Written by: Cha, Date: October 4th, 2017

 

 

 

 

"Ugh... how did this happen you two?" Kamui crouched near the floor of the wild cherry flavored beach. He was more defeated sounded than angry or upset.

"How did THAT happen?" No Man pointed to Abuto, who was mysteriously all black and white again.

"Beats me." Abuto up his Diet Coke he finally earned in the golden store.But spat out the lukewarm content. "Disgusting."

"Hello gang! Kamui's back!"

"Let's party!" No Man said.

"Any port in the store- wait this looks like any other 7/11." Abuto scratched his head but he wasn't too concern anyways.

 He just wanted his ::dolphin noise:: coke. And there he saw it, the last one in the fridge aisle and... ice cold! He ran up to it as Kamui went up to the counter for his long awaited Slurp and No Man looked around for some mags. While slippin some Playboy mags inside his pocket, someone bumped into him by mistake.

"Hey! Watch we're you're going bro.....zu?" No Man was shocked but then quickly looked away, annoyed. 

"Oh uh hey... awkward.. haha. Long time no see I guess, No Man. Put her there!" Brozu took out a fist but the green capped dude left him hangin'. "Well it was good seeing you anyway, I guess."

Brozu took out the mags from No Man's pockets and went to the front counter where a 14 year old boy rung up his nudie books.

"Good, good issue.. I like the sleeping beauty ones. Reminds me of comoto-" The scared kid looked at his manager who watched him like a hawk across the other counter.

"You tryin' to rat me out or somethin' for stealing 'em?" No Man walked up annoyed to the old man as he was paying. Brozu just smiled.

"Nah my ex-main mang, are ya kiddin' me?! I just wanted these for myself." Brozu chuckled and then No Man smiled. But then quickly turned away after doing so and waved goodbye with his back turned to Brozu. He had forgotten that former life but it seems like Brozu had forgotten the harshnesss No Man put on him as well.

"Ya done inner-monologuing Tiny dick?" Kamui smiled, sneaking up behind him and he got startled. 

"Oh...yeah. WAIT. WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!" No Man yelled and Kamui skipped over merrily before the stylish green man could grab a hold on him.

"Three extra large slurpies please!" Kamui said happily when in front of the counter.

"Uh Chief, you might want to make that a small one for me." Abuto took out his bugs bunny wallet and proudly clung onto his coke.

"Sorry. But we don't serve usually Slurpees here. This is a Mom and Pop high end 7/11 store, not a filthy regular 7/11. Otherwise we wouldn't be made of gold." A man with shinning glasses said. His tag said manager on it and some cool guy's name. Next to him was a giant mopping robot.

"Are... you.... KIDDING ME?!" Kamui banged his hands on the table loudly and leaving an impact. No Man tried to hold him back in case he went further but he regained his cool. 

"RRRAAAAWWWR" It yelled and Gendo took notice and rolled his eyes. 

"No, I'm not. But since my wife is giving me the angry eyes over here, I'll make you men a deal. If you want to EARN your slurps, you're gonna help me in my organization." He pressed a button underneath his counter and a secret entrance to NERV headquarters appeared.

"Cool!" Kamui said excited and went inside the door as his friends followed. "This'll be so worth getting the slurps." 

"Chief, I think I uh might just sit this one out. Kinda occupied with-" Abuto tried to say but Kamui joyfully took Billy Ray's hand and ran to the EVA robots. He dropped his coke while this happened and reached out for it, but alas chief was dragging him away. 

Kamui pushed over lead scientist Ritsuko and dicked around with some of the controls, causing the EV robots themselves to yell in pain.

"What the hell?!" A purple hair boss babe yelled and tried to grabbed the kid away from the controls.  But he was too strong and heavy and didn't budge.

"What are you doing?! Are you crazy!" Another women yelled at the manchild.

"Major Katsuragi,  Lieutenant Ibuki, at ease." The big boss man himself, sat down in his usual chair next to his assistant. He wore a Shop to You Drop titled shirt with a picture of a golden 7/11. Everyone questioned it but didn't actually bother to tell their intimidating superior himself. "These three are angels."

"WHAT?!" All his employees yelled shocked.

"No, I think you have it wrong. We're no angels."  Abuto snickered.

"We've been waiting for their presence for several months now, tracking them at will. They are from a distant planet of very strong species known as Yato... Well sorta all of them..." Fuyutsuki said and looked around.

"HEY!" No Man barked and awkwardly covered himself up, still insecure about his.. half human parts.

"You're just gotta let these angels, or aliens or whatever in our presence unarmed?!" Misato tried to reason as Kamui was stroking her hair.

"Don't worry, I don't kill women and children." He said happily. "Oi, what kind of shampoo do you use? This is a lovely silk feeling." She ripped away from him in fear and disgust.

"These superiorly strong aliens are special... Especially the one called No Man." Gendo spoke in a whisper to his co-commander. "A perfect love child blend of half human, half angel. Truly awe aspiring." No Man was scrolling through ::dolphin noise::Hub on his phone while everyone was busy talking and he yawned.

"But should we really let them pilot the new Evas while the other Children are in the hospital?" Fuyutsuki said.

 Gendo intensely and dramatically sat their in silence for a few moments in his usual pose. 

"...oh. I just realized it's date night. You're gonna have to be in charge here, Fuyutsuki. Gendo simply said and walked away while Fuyutsuki was at a lost of words on what to do next. 

Gendo exited NERV and back into his store where Unit 001- I mean his wife Yui wore a giant pink dress and pearls over the robotic suit. Shinji was in a wheelchair with broken cast legs from his last adventure.

"Shinji. I forgot your mother made dinner plans for us tonight. You watch over the store and if you ruin anything, you're ::dolphin noise::ing dead." Gendo said with razor shiny glasses and Shinji gulped. The Unit looked at Gendo and growled.

"Fine, I'm sorry kid. But you will lose your allowance for the day if you badly scratch something up." Gendo said and his giant mother blew a kiss at him. The two left arm in robotic arm for their romantic adventure. 

"I must not run away, I must not run away.." he said silently as he sweeped his father's and mother's franchised store though it was more Yui's dream to settle down and buy one of these.

Minutes later a giant crash left the building crumbling. A Eva had escaped and sirens in NERV were going crazy. Shinji looked in horror for several second. But then wheeled his wheelchair tf out of there.

"Hey Ossan! I think I got the hang of this! ha!" Kamui said punching his way to the surface and then on the streets of  Abuto and No Man followed them shortly as citizens started to take pictures in awe of these new EVs.

"Shinji! Call your father!" Misato ran up next to him and he did so.

"OH NO!" Shinji could hear the painful cries of his Eva in trouble over the phone line. His father was silent. "I think they're or at least my Unit.. er uh my mother is in trouble!" That ::dolphin noise:: boy wheeled that chair faster than the speed of light to find them.

"So what do we do now to get our Slurps?" Kamui said inside his robot to his fellow pals walking in the city.

"I don't know, you kinda skipped out before they could even run safety tests on us." Abuto said and admired his robot's looks in the reflection of a skyscraper. He was shocked to notice it had a mullet on it.

"Let's just blow up ::dolphin noise:: until they reward us!" No Man offered.

"Sounds like a deal to me!" Kamui said and they fired at will.

"::dolphin noise::.." Misato swerved up in a car to the robotic action and took out a walkie-talkie. "Get the dummy plug Units 000 and 003 in here! And have the city evacuate!" 

"Nah, we're the good guys this time. You don't have to do that. ha!" Kamui said and then accidentally took out a tower in one blast. Never forgetti.

Meanwhile Shinji could hear his mother's cries and moans from a dark alley. He wheeled up to what appeared to be a single door. He opened it very slowly and cautiously until

"Forgive me Shinji..." His father said.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2epJCHt4mXk

 

TBC

 

 

Episode 3: Written by: Aya, Date: October 4th, 2017

 

 

 

 

Shinji knew he walked into something he shouldn't have.  He knew his father was not going to be happy with this.  Shinji finally aspirated the last of his scream and slammed the door.  Loud crashing and explosions could be heard as the three Yato were obliterating Osaka.  Shinji was starting to breath more heavily, the crashes and explosions making him gasp as flashbacks of piloting EVA-01 began popping up in his mind.  He placed his head in his hands.

 

"I have to do something...I mustn't run away..." Shinji sat up in his wheelchair, and started to roll out of the alley.  He knew the root of the problem, those ::dolphin noise:: Yato.  He wasn't about to have a sibling, let alone a hybrid monster.  Shinji wheeled his way to the 7/11 parking lot and look up in horror at what he saw,

"Hey!  You down there little crippled child!  Come and ride with me!"  Kamui yelled from his EVA.  He attempted to scoop up Shinji, but Shinji evaded.  He spun around and went into an attacking position.

Shinji sprang up in his wheelchair, but soon fell over.  He landed on the back of his head, knocking him out.  Kamui laughed hysterically.

"Oi, oi!  Halfy, scoop up that dude and like place him on a building somewhere.  He is totally blocking us from our Slurp."  Kamui said in an ordering manner.  No Man was visibly pissed.  He marched his EVA over to Kamui and shoved him.

"All this name calling ain't cool dog."  No Man was being defiant towards the leader.

"Now, now guys.  We are a solid trio, we don't fight like this."  the oldest of the trio butted in, trying to calm the other two down.

"What are you going to do?  You and that half-pint dick of yours."  Kamui smiled.  No Man shoved him hard this time, and put Kamui's EVA in a headlock.  The two were wrestling just above the ruined remains of the Golden 7/11.  Abuto knew if he got involved, all hell would break loose, so he decided to hop out of his EVA before ::dolphin noise:: got real.  He walked over to the unconscious loser and picked him up.

"Yare yare, these two were bound to have a scuffle sometime.  Best we move out of the way, looks like they are about to crash into your Dad's underground business here."  Abuto looked over at the two robots duking it out.

"Swing and a miss!  Hahaha!"  Kamui was out-maneuvering No Man at every step.  But, No Man caught Kamui with a surprise leg sweep, which sent him directly on top of the 7/11, crashing into NERV.

"WARNING, CRITICAL FAILURE. EVACUATE ALL SURROUNDING BUILDINGS WITHIN AN 80 SQUARED MILE RADIUS!"  a warning system was ringing out through out the city of Osaka.  Gendo shot out of his love bed with a brooding look clouding his eyes.

"Shinji..."  Gendo stood up and put his clothes on.  His wife...robot, laid in bed asleep.  Gendo threw on his coat and marched back to the 7/11.  He made it there in no time, and caught Abuto and Shinji in the parking lot.  "What did you do Shinji."  Gendo stood looking over the knocked out teen.

"Oh, he didn't do anything.  It was Chief and Halfy.  They were just having a good tussle, things got out of hand and now a warning is going out.  You know how it is."  Abuto handed Shinji over to his father and reached into his pocket for the Diet Coke he swiped from the covenant store.

"You are going to pay for that, right?"  Gendo's glasses clouded up again.

"Hmm, no, I don't think I could go to your cash register anyway, seems a little too busy."  before Abuto could crack open the crisp soda, Gendo threw Shinji to the ground and attempted to wrestle his merchandise out of the Yato's hands.

"You will pay for this, or there will be hell to pay.  Alien or not, you are going to follow the rules."  Gendo went for a punch, but was caught mid-way.  Abuto's strength overpowered him, and he tossed him to the side.

"Treating your own son like this, come on man.  And I am taking this soda, you aren't stopping me."  Abuto placed the soda back in his pocket, and picked Shinji up again.  The sun was near set as the sky turned an orange hue.  No Man climbed out of the EVA and went in search for the Chief.

"No hard feeling right mang?"  No Man went through the rubble of the store and pulled out the leader.  Kamui had a dirty magazine in hand just for his halfy buddy.  "Man, I can't stay mad at you."  No Man and Kamui gave a manly hand shake after a good rough housing.

"Alright!  Now I want my slurpees.  I don't care about no stupid alarm!"  Kamui marched up to Gendo and lifted him off the ground with one hand.  Gendo simply laughed at Kamui.

"You struck the fluid tank...Our EVA units are powered by slurpee sugar and fruit mix...haha!"  Gendo let out a fierce laughter.

"NO, I WAS TOLD THERE WOULD BE MOUNTAINS OF SLURPESS, CASTLES MADE OUT OF STYROFOAM, A PLACE FIT FOR A SLURPEE KING LIKE ME!"  Kamui violently shook Gendo.

"Wait...who told you about this 7/11..No it couldn't be him..."  Gendo was dizzy from the shaking.

"Some stupid sock puppet named Socky, the mega star!"  No Man said, flipping through the mag.  Gendo's face when pale.  He took his shades off and looked Kamui dead in the eyes.

"Take my son, hide in the bunker.  It's right here, underneath this parking spot."  Gendo grabbed a clicker from his coat pocket and pressed a button.  A lot right next to the group slid underneath the concrete and revealed a set of stairs.  "I must protect my wife, this store meant the world to her.  She is too large to fit in the bunker, but I promise we will be safe.  That sock is not who he seems." Kamui dropped Gendo and nodded.

"I better get my ::dolphin noise:: slurpee after this ::dolphin noise:: is over with."  Kamui said angerly, marching into the bunker.  The other Yato followed in pursuit.  Gendo closed the bunker behind them and let out a sigh.  He went back in the way of the alley.

And hour had passed since the four were sent to the bunker.  Loud explosions and screams of terrified people echoed from the surface.  Shinji sat in the far corner of the room, legs still broken and without a wheel chair.  Abuto sat, arms crossed, the color of his skin and clothes turning back to his original black and white form like some kind of chameleon.  No Man was still flipping through his magazine, and Kamui was nodding his head back and forth with a smile on his face.  Just as things were getting calm, the roof of the bunker flew off, and then dead silence.  The four looked up to see a blood-red sky, slurpee stained streets paved in red syrup.  Kamui stepped out first and surveyed the situation.

"Again...uhg...how did this happen you two?"  Kamui couldn't believe that his grand plan to get a slurpee was foiled again.

"How did THAT happen?"  No Man pointed out the fact that Abuto had changed color again.

"Beats me."  Abuto cracked open the soda, no crisp.  He took a sip and spit it out.  He threw the drink to the ground.  "Lukewarm...disgusting."  The 7/11's remains floated along the surface of the slurpee mix.  Large Styrofoam EVA's were cropped up among the sticky water.  Shinji laid down, thinking about his parents.  If he would see them again.  Suddenly, the silence was broken by a man strolling down the wreckage that once was Osaka.

"So, you boys passed the first test the Sock man issued."

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdqoNKCCt7A

 

The three Yato looked on, mouths ajar.

"I thought you were maimed and attacked by Socky...Why are you here dog?"  No Man was the first to speak up.

"Socky has a grand plan, and he needed Gendo and his operation to be taken out first.  He has other targets on his list, and you were unknowingly his assassins."  Billy took a sip of his latte.

"What's in it for us...every time we try something...anything.  Our slurpees are ruined."  Kamui picked up some slush with wreckage in his hands and stared at it.  Abuto put his hand on Kamui's shoulder to give him support, as did No Man to the other shoulder.

"Don't be so down on yourself Chief, we'll get our just dessert eventually.  We just have to stick together, be positive and we will get those slurpees (and Diet Cola)."  Abuto said, looking at the lukewarm can on the ground.  No Man nodded in agreement, but he already had what he wanted.

"Socky is a mega star my friends...He'll get you all the slush you need.  As long as you don't mind getting your hands a little dirty."  Billy reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Kamui, who was now at higher spirits at the news of more slush action.  "We need to get you 3...or 4 I guess, out of Osaka."  Billy had just noticed Shinji laying on the ground next to them.  "Socky's next target, Ozoom.  You need to infiltrate the head-quarters and destroy their newest print, causing a panic through out the company.  Do that, and I'll be back with step three."  Billy sipped on his latte again, and vanished into the slush.  Kamui clinched the paper and put his arms around the other two Yato.

"We have some slurpage waiting for us boys, let's make this happen.  I will not take another failure."  Kamui smiled, squeezing the two hard.  Shinji threw up a thumbs up from the ground below.

TBC

 

 

Episode 4:Written by: Cha, Date: October 5th, 2017

 

 

 

 

"Ikari! Where are you? Ikari?!" Fuyutsuki looked in the rubble of a remains at where he had tracked Gendo and Yui to be.

"Fuyu...." Gendo whispered from not that far away under some ceiling tiles. 

Fuyu rushed over quickly, taking some of the junk off of him. Gendo reached out a shaking hand towards his co-commander and handed him a piece of scribbled paper. "This is important."

Meanwhile in Tokyo..

"Uh.. guys?" Dumb ::dolphin noise:: cry baby Shinji was left on the side of the pavement of Ozoom Manga still with his leg machine broken. He was in a "new wheelchair" that they actually found in the city dump... well it was actually just a piece of cardboard with a cup holder duck taped to the side. Abuto's idea, gotta keep hydrated he always says. 

"I don't want the fate of the world in their hands while I can't move physically...I wonder how Asuka and Ayanami are doing..did they die? And I have to use the restroom.." His dumb face sobbed into his ugly hands.

The scene was cut to everyone's favorite trio.

"This is the plan guys. We're gonna sneak in and just destroy everything, ha!" Kamui said while they were quietly going through halls.

"No Chief. We gotta do this a more professional way. I say we pose as writers. And then infiltrate from the inside." Abuto said. 

A woman who looked like she was in charge here appeared with some fellow writers and security. 

"Write that idea down...  HEY what are you three intruders doing! We were in the middle of a very important board meeting and saw you on camera."

"Actually we were just discussing what to have in the cafeteria for dessert." Another writer sweat dropped.

"How about a cake with your own likeness on it?" Someone dude said but everyone looked at him weird and he got sad.

But before she could turn Kamui and Abuto around, No Man stepped in.

"Hi Mrs. Ozu!" No Man had completely changed his outfit, attitude and voice into a spot on impression.

"Oh baby. What are you doing here?" She said pleasantly surprised. 

"Baby?" Abuto said and Kamui shrugged to each other.

"You're not here to steal plans for your father's business again are you? Like you do just about every time you 'visit'." Kiyoko said with a stern motherly face and crossed her arms tightly. 

"Oh no! I just wanted to show my new friends around here and maybe in a board meeting, since they're inspiring writers themselves! Ozu Junior said it was a good idea." He said faking a smile and sweating from nervousness.

"Hmm." She looked him in the eye. "Well okay! I'll go bring you boys some lemonade for the meeting in a bit." She pitched his cheek as he smiled.

"Okay, bye Mrs. Ozu! I love you!" He waved happily but the second she was out of sight, he went back to his chill face. Kamui and Abuto looked in shock.

"...What? I was at like a million of gatherings of my ex-boss's family. You pick up some annoying personalities from them when there." No Man put back on his shades. But then saw a picture of Brozu again in his head, he shook it out and regained his stature. 

"These cookies made by your mom are great, No Man." Kamui joked around as they entered into the meeting room a little time after. It was a very long table, it looked to be at least fifty people there and they all stared at the yato trio.

"What are ya lookin' at?" Abuto said and slammed his hands on the table. "This is the son of your boss!" At saying that there was a quick gasp and murmurs all around.

"I thought her son was a furry and wore a costume." Someone said.

"Maybe it's a private hobby?" Spoke another.

"That's one disturbing hobby." 

"Kiyoko, is this really your son?"

"Yup and proud!" She said when entering and stood in front of the crowd. "I have special news to make, my writing team of dudes and dudettes. I have finally finished with my head writers what I believe to be our best issue of Unidentified Fighting Objects ever! If all goes well, we'll be renewed by the big three owners of this company for another 10 more volumes! Can I get a what, what?!"

The mangka cast were overjoyed at this news.

"One problem is Kiyoko," One of her head writers named Mustano spoke. "You didn't tell them what's it about yet." 

"I'm getting there, I'm getting there geez. You get a former guy from a business we took over and he gets all talky." She said and the others laughed, while the guy rolled his eyes

"Just kidding bud. What kind of business woman do you take me for?" She said and pulled out a PowerPoint presentation. 

She put on the first slide, which contained a picture of Ozu at the beach with his surfboard and killer old man abs and drawn hearts all over the picture. She looked in absolute horror as the clicker slipped and slided in her hands and quickly switched it to the next slide. 

"Not what I had in mind. But at least you got the conversation going." Mustano said. 

"ANYWAY, speaking of our fellow rivals in the entertainment business-" She started talking away as Abuto looked bored.

"Now what Chief?" 

"Oh.. yeah. I was thinking about what we're gonna have for dinner and I kinda daised out." He said and then stood up on his chair. "Miss?"

"Yes?" She said.

"Can I see your copy of the manga?" He said and she looked confused but gave it to him anyway. He simply ripped it apart.

"There. We're done! Let's get noodles now." Kamui said and they all gasped and were horrified. 

"...THAT WAS MY ONLY COPY SO FAR!" She said in a complete state of shock and trembled.

"Aight boys, let's head out!" Kamui said and they comically ran for the hills before a bunch of sweaty, comic book makers could grab them. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg

 

She chased after them all the way through the parking lot with security. Meanwhile the real coolest kid and dad were coincidentally walking by with soft serve ice cream.

"You know I was never a fan of peanut butter ice cream, son. I HATE IT. Who wants to eat something that thick and nutty?! Raspberry ice cream on the other hand, now THAT's an underrated classic." Ozu said and Yes Man was scribbling notes as fast as his hands could write, as if they were words spoken by God himself. 

"YOOU!" Kiyoko said and the security jumped all over Yes Man and cuffed him. Ozu had to even hold her back from getting angrier or doing something crazy.

"WWHHY?!" Yes Man cried, his pistachio ice cream falling on the cement. 

"I told you people hate nutty flavored ice cream." The old man simply said.

---

Meanwhile a figure behind a shadowy desk picked up the phone. 

"Ozoom is peaking low? Excellent. All we have to do is get rid of Lilymu and then our master plan after that." Socky swiveled to the front of his desk and turned on the TV to One Punch Man.

"::dolphin noise::! I love this series." He said while chewing on popcorn with his polyester mouth. 

---

Billy stood in a grassy field as two god figures approached to him with loud, thunderous claps. They flew in on clouds.

"Hello Random ::dolphin noise:: Lower Ranked Officer and Suave." He said calmly to his fellow gods.

"Phase 3 in plan of protecting Earth?" Mr ::dolphin noise:: Officer said. 

"Yes.  " Billy proclaimed to his closest amigos. "All we need is the one called, Jazzy."

"World saving? Well WHY not." Suave said and got out his saxophone which transformed into a machine gun and played them out.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9SzlLWCyxE

 

--

Dumb ::dolphin noise:: Shinji cry baby was still crying his stupid eyes out in the parking lot. He saw a message blink on his stupid phone.

"Father! You're alive!" He spoke overjoyed and unlocked it to see the text. He hadn't seen him in like 2 weeks now. He also was hoping his dad wasn't still mad about the other day when he saw... well... He knows what he saw that day. But then..

....

"A-"

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPZymccwZm4

 

TBC

 

 

Episode 5: Written by: Aya, Date: October 5th, 2017

 

 

 

 

"Nice moves in there No Man, reminds me of my younger self."  Abuto complimented him on his fake-out performance at Ozoom.  The three were hiding behind a dumpster just a few buildings over.  Shinji was still sitting in the parking lot, all the security guards and Ozoom staff ignoring him and searching everywhere.  Shinji was looking through his phone waiting for the three to come and pick him up.  He sipped some of his Fiji water from his cup-holder on his new ride.  Suddenly his phone started to ring:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uqg8tSwS70

 

"Yo, you've reached the Shinj-miester."  Shinji answered in a weak, yet cool voice.

"Yeah, Shinji you're gonna cut that ::dolphin noise:: out real quick if you want to hang with us.  Look dawg, we're hidin out behind the Dunkin Donuts a few buildings down.  Crawl ya ::dolphin noise:: over here and don't act too suspicious.  We have a wheelchair waiting for you dude."  No Man hung up the phone with a fury.  "This kid is doggin on us.  We're supposed to be the Trio!"  No Man wasn't having it with the cry baby ::dolphin noise:: boy's antics.

"Look, his entire lively-hood was demolished thanks to you two hooligans.  We should at least help him out a bit."  Abuto said, being reasonable.

"Ossan, you're so silly, that kid is nothing but dead weight!"  Kamui slugged Abuto in his real arm, leaving a mark.  Abuto was used to it.  Meanwhile, Shinji was crawling at the speed of sound...or speed of someone crawling with a water bottle in his hands.  He finally made his way behind the breakfast shop and met up with the Trio and his new wheelchair.  Suddenly, the backdoor of the Dunkin Donuts opened and Billy stepped out, not much to the surprise of our heroes.

"Good, you guys stopped Ozoom from publishing their next volume.  I assure you that'll make Socky pleased.  Now, it's time to sabotage Lilymu at its heart."  Billy reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of a jade tiger fish.  "I need you 4 to infiltrate the LilyMu Towers and kidnap this fish.  But, I must warn you, it won't be captured so easily."  Billy put his hands into his pocket.  "Follow me, I have just one small side task for you all."  Billy took the lead down the street.  Tokyo was bustling as it usually is during business hours.  Kamui and Abuto were toting their umbrellas, No Man his mag, and Shinji his phone.

"Say Chief, why are we even taking orders from this guy in the first place, I can't trust someone who has to wear a name tag like that.  We can just get a slushes anywhere else in the world, why does it have to be from a sock?"  Abuto was wondering.

"Well Ossan, it's for the plots sake."  Kamui said, looking up at him with a smile.  Abuto shrugged.  Eventually the five of them ended up in-front of what looked like an old, closed library.

"Why are we here?  We don't want books mang."  No Man said, crossing his hands.

"Yeah, what half-dick said!  I want my slurpage, and now I have to read?  Ha!  You make me laugh Billy, seriously."  Kamui walked past everyone and squared up with Billy.  Billy looked un-phased, but kept his distance.

"You need to research the Jade Tiger Fish before you make this heist.  This isn't any normal fish, and well, reading is fun.  And they have free coffee."  Billy pushed the doors open, and held them for the other 4.  The library's inside told the same story as its outside.  It was a ghost town.  The shelves were stocked with thousands of books, the furniture nice, but no people, no sounds.  "Alright you lots, start looking for books.  I'm getting a coffee and chillin."

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBBGJZk-6vw

 

 

"Look "Billy", we can't find any book about this fish.  Can we just leave already?"  Abuto said, tired and irritated.

"No, you useless pieces of garbage will find the ::dolphin noise:: book and continue with step 3.  It's as the prophesy says.  We have to follow it down to the ::dolphin noise:: tee or die trying."  Billy said, taking a hard sip of his iced coffee.

"I'm bored, I miss my friends, and I only kind of miss my dad."  Shinji said, drinking his water.  Billy stood up and slapped the Fiji water to the ground, spilling it all over the carpet.  Shinji stared at the stain on the floor with a blank expression.  The Yato Trio also looked on at the water.

"You're lucky to even be here dude.  You were supposed to die along with those other scientists."  Billy said, sipping more of his coffee.  Kamui stood up and started to walk towards the entrance.  "And where the hell do you think you are going?"  Billy asked in a serious tone.

"Oh, I'm bored too.  I want food, sushi sounds nice!  Come on guys."  Kamui beckoned towards Abuto and No Man.

"Yes Sir."  Abuto stood up and followed suit.  No Man stood up to and followed close behind.

"No...you guys can't leave now...the prophesy won't be fulfilled..."  Billy knew he couldn't stop all three of them.  He watched as the three left the library.  Shinji stayed put, still looking at the pool of water.  "Well, I guess you have to do it."  Billy walked over and started to push Shinji through the library.

"Wait...what?  But I can't do anything..."  Shinji put his head down as he was forced to roam the library.

"::dolphin noise:: idiots didn't even go to the aquatics section.  I'm sure."  Billy reached up and pulled out a book called "All about the Jade Tiger Fish!" and threw it in Shinji's lap.  "Read this and get the fish.  If you don't, I'll kill you or something."  Billy was visibly pissed at the trio leaving.  They were his ticket, but walked away when he needed them most.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You're still kidnapping that fish, right Chief?  I know you too well."  Abuto asked, eating a piece of sushi.

"Oh, of course!  I just couldn't stand that Bimmy guy!  We're stealing the fish and hand delivering it to Socky so I can get that slurp."  Kamui said, downing an entire plate.

"I like the way you think Boss!"  No Man stuck a mug of beer in the center of all three of them, and the other two obliged, giving a big cheer.

"That's why you're my third in command, Hybrid! Ha!"  Kamui laughed, No Man shrugging it off, for now.  "Alright boy!  Let's go steal that fish!"  the three stood up and made their way out of the sushi shop.

"So, LilyMu Towers huh?  Luckily, I've been to the Penthouse many of times.  I know my way around!"  No Man was confident, so he took the lead this time.

"Don't you think half-breeds have some sort of superiority complex or something?"  Abuto whispered to Kamui just loud enough for No Man to hear.  No Man turned around and kicked Abuto in his shin.  Abuto was used to this.  The three strolled merrily, stopping at ever 7/11 along the way, only finding that none of their slurps were working.  Each 7/11 was then promptly demolished by Kamui in a fit of rage.

"NONE!  I can't believe this.  Not a single one has slurps.  That's why this fish HAS to get to Socky.  He has slurp, I know he does!"  Kamui started to run, forcing the others to catch up.

"Chief, please slow down!"  Abuto called out, but No Man managed to stop both of them and pointed up.

"We're here yo."  it was LilyMu Towers in all it's glory.  "If we hurry, both the big O and Kiyoko won't be here!  That only leaves the purple thing."  No Man said.

"The Purple Thing?  Is it another alien species?"  Abuto asked.

"Nah, he's just a director."  No Man ushered them inside, telling them to hide their faces with the umbrellas.  No Man put back on his Yes Man impression and walked up to the front desk.

"Hello Miss Front Desk lady!"  No Man yelled.  The front desk person waved them through without looking up from the computer.  The three reached tried the elevator, but it was broken so they took the stairs.  After a quick leap and bound, they reached the top floor.  The three stood side by side an were soon confronted by a familiar face.

"Oi, no one allowed in the old geezer's place."  Gintoki was trying his best to be a threatening bouncer.

"Ahh, Yorozuya, long time no see."  Abuto said, chuckling a bit.

"Gintoki!  Do you happen to know where my idiot sister is?  She's due for another throw down...or better yet, my idiot dad!  You guys hang out quite a bit!"  Kamui gave off a threatening smile.

"Well, you three punks stole me, baldy, and old geezer's spotlights.  We are the trio ::dolphin noise:: it.  Anyway, like I'd tell you where your family is, you abandoned them.  I ought to kill you right now so the author would right about me instead, but I'll wait in line.  Plus, I'm getting payed extra to watch the penthouse."  Gintoki said lazily.

"Can you please let us through!"  No Man was still trying his Yes Man impression, but Gintoki shrugged it off.

"I'm not an idiot, I know that glasses wearing kiss ::dolphin noise:: anywhere.  I live with one, so I know a little bit."  Gintoki stood his ground at the door.  Gin looked down at No Man's pockets and saw the dirty magazine sticking out of it.  Gintoki's eyes grew wide.  "Oi, can I have that magazine.  I uh, have to use the restroom and I need some reading material.  I like the articles."  Gintoki pointed at No Man's pants.

"Oh you don't want that!  It's subpar compared to others!"  Kamui said with a smile, which No Man slugged in the jaw for that one.  Kamui just kept smiling.

"Give him the magazine No Man."  Abuto gave a wink, No Man understood and handed Gintoki the magazine.  Gintoki dashed off towards the restroom, leaving the door wide open.  No Man and Abuto gave a big high five, while Kamui kicked the door off its hinges.

----------------------------------------------------

While the Gintoki situation was going down, Billy and Shinji walked into LilyMu towers.  They wheeled over to the elevator but the button wasn't working.

"Elevator machine broke.  Stair only."  the Front Desk Lady said, pointing to the stairs.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  Billy's screamed echoed through the whole tower.

TBC

 

 

Episode 6: Written by: Cha, Date: October 6th, 2017

 

 

 

 

"Oh hey, bro-" Guano entered the front room and then No Man knocked him out with a head butt.

"Hey! That was a person!" Shinji detested. He was abandoned by Billy at the penthouse mysteriously.

"No that was a purple thing, silly." Abuto said.

"What? I'm getting tired of doing impressions." No Man slung kid over his shoulder with his yato strength and threw him into his dumb room. 

Abuto checked the fridge for his beloved soft drink. Alas, it was only regular Coke. "I can't drink this ::dolphin noise::." He sighed. "Here you go kid. Make sure to drink plenty of fluids." Still depressed he dropped a full eight pack on Shinji's crotch area and he moaned in brief pain.

Kamui follow Nah Mang and looked at on the bed. A tiny message on a piece of paper was right on the pillow.

Takasugi Shinsuke: Day 264: I have finally figured out how to escape this death trap apartment. I am afraid my buddy Bansai couldn't make it. He was watering a plant of his namesake for the entire time and perished in his weak state. I made 'a deal with the devil' in certain terms to have my green haired buddy back. But the devil tricked me and I arrived to this hell hole. A sort of unending purgatory if you will. I have wondered for months here and have given up on trying to escape. Which is the only wish unavailable to this place's victims. So my last wish was for this message to be displayed on this pillow, so that others could be forewarned of the trickery of the devil known as-

Kamui got bored and crumbled it up before he finished reading out. "What a weenie." He went back into the living room. 

"Now I wonder where this fish could be?" The China Chief humming a little tune while breaking windows and throwing furniture against the walls. He punch holes in the floor as he walked his way across the apartment.

"I can't believe I'm stuck with homocide maniacs." Shinji choked between his words. He made a fast 267f.png towards the door but turned out to be an pantry. Dumb ::dolphin noise::.

He exhaled loudly hiding himself from the extra terrestrials.

"Oh crippled child, where are you?" Kamui sung. "Your old man's ::dolphin noise::ty, thrown of lies store is the reason why we're even in this mess." 

Shinji exhaled when Kamui had finally left the kitchen. He rested his hands behind his head but felt something. He started shaking like a leaf and turned his head ever so slowly.

"My boy..

do you have a key out of here?"

"FATHER?!?!!" He screamed and broke the door down with the sheer force of his wheelchair.

"I'm free!" Madao cried. "First the elevator, than the fridge, then the pantry and now I'm finally-"

All of a sudden a loud rumble shook the entire penthouse. A pot on top of a high kitchen shelf fell on Madao's head, leaving him in comatose. With great force the top of the penthouse was ripped off. 

"YOOO HOOOOOO!!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQUsnto_3pw

 

"You three yato have pissed me off for the last time! FEEL MY WRATH!" Billy yelled in a monsterious and booming voice. He was a giant! And also naked. And had laser eyes! But was mostly naked.

"Holy ::dolphin noise::!" Shinj screamed but then took a photo of it to show his friends. Meanwhile in the secrecy of the guest bathroom, Gintoki got a text on his phone from some lonely teenager. "Who the hell is Kinji." He blocked it and continued his very important task at hand.

"YOU FOUR ARE GONNA LEARN YOUR LESSON ABOUT MESSING WITH THE (Handsome) DEVIL HIMSELF!" He slurped his giant ::dolphin noise:: drink. 

The trio and Shinji looked in awe. "THE POWER OF BILLY COMPELS YOU!" He shouted. A giant explosion happened.

Transported, they were traveling through time and space in an enormous worm hole.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gu-hzfhv10

 

"I did not cause this." Abuto said swirling through the black and white environment. Two colors familiar to him. 

They were yelling.. well mostly the ::dolphin noise:: with the broken legs. 

Suddenly escaped and they were falling downward but landed in a hard crash in a holding cell.

Kamui landed on Abuto (typical) who landed on Shinji, who landed on No Man.

"Your tiny dick broke the fall! Who knew that thing would come in handy one of these days!" Kamui smiled on top of the pile. 

" " Shinji gestured getting slightly more comfortable around them.

Getting up from the bottom of the pile, No Man pushed China so hard against the prison wall, it simply vanished into liquid. He fell off a cliff that appeared out of no where. The others gasped in horror as No Man looked down at Kamui's unmoving, bloody body down in the deep trench. Abuto was at a lost of words and looking at the corpse, Shinji had a string of emotional flashbacks. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PVfzov7tes

 

"OH ::dolphin noise:: WHAT DID I DO! CHIEF!" No Man yelled in a very emotional tone. All of a sudden a bright bulb of purple shot up into the sky, it was the China man.

"It's okay green puke, look! I'm glowing! And you are crying!" Kamui was floating in air at will and was delighted.

No Man turned away, trying to conceal his many manly tears pouring down.

"Chief! What IS this place..?" Abuto said at the prison and then looked at the cliff. 

But when he turned his head to the cliff, the prison had disappeared before his very eyes. In front of them now nothing but a very windy red desert expanding for miles. The cliff was gone too once he turned his head to the desert.

"How did this environment know my emotional impulses?" No Man looked disturbed and spoke this quietly to himself. Would it do something even more dramatic if he had even a slight bad thought again?

"I don't know guys! But I like it!" Kamui floated in front of them. "Ossan, I wish you could come up here to see this view!

Suddenly like magic, Abuto against his will floated up to Kamui.

"Yo dawg, what the?" No Man questioned.

"Weird! Hmm.. I wish I had No Man's shades!" Kamui said and suddenly got them. "Ha!"

"How you did that?" Bunny looked puzzled down at his glowing hands.

"Beats me!" He said.

"I wish I had my sunglasses back." No Man said and it worked. "Dudes, what is this place?"

"I wish someone could help me..." Shinji said and that very instant his phone was ringing.

"Shinji.." A rusty voice said.

"F-father?!" He said in the phone.

"There is much danger in this city right now. For now on, I want your guardians who saved you in the bunker to take care of you in your weak state. "

"My Guardians?" Shinji turned around to the three gentlemen who smiled and waved sarcastically. "But Father! They're crimin-"

"I am very busy with NERV during this situation and it doesn't help that your legs are both broken. You are useless to me right now. Call Miss Katsuragi when you are of fighting status, Third Child." The commander hung up without another word, Shinji looked distressed.

"Looks like we're officially your pops for now, booger face! Great wish!" Kamui gave a thumbs up.

...

"Why didn't the lil' dude just wish for new legs?" No Man asked Bunny and Bun shrugged. At this moment, Kamui remembered the letter he got from his late ol' terrorist friend and then smiled.

"Alright Ossan, Halfy and our new crippled son. A long lost friend recently told me about this place. While we're here in Bimmy's sort of pathetic purgatory punishment hole and can't wish ourselves out, let's see what is the unholy limit of other things we can wish for!" Kamui said taking out his umbrella and putting it over his head. 

---

"Ah where were we now?" The big bad boss man said holding up double XXXXL infant clothes.

"RRRRAAAAAAWWR" His robot wife Yui screeched. They became the only ones in the store as very frightened shoppers zipped out of there.

"No, I didn't lie to Shinji about a NERV alert right now." Gendo said.

"ROOOOOOAAR!!" 

"Fine!! I did lie. Only. because how am I suppose to tell him we trashed his room and redesigned it for the baby. I'd ask you to tell him but you're not so good at articulating words. Look at your poems for hobby, yikes."

"RAAAWR!"

"Yui you're just angry because you started to lactate oil for the first time a few hours ago."

"RRRRAAAWWRRRGHHGAAH!"

"You never whined this much while being pregnant as a human!"

"GLLAAAASRRRRAAAWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAR!"

"AM I BEING THE INSENSITIVE ONE?" Gendo said annoyed in his domestic dispute to a random man in the corner, clutching to the wall and shaking. The guy was too paralyzed with fear to do anything but shake his head no.

Suddenly the roof of Babies R Us popped open.

"IT'S BILLY TIME!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"...Oh I guess there does need to be some NERV alert now." Gendo simply said and dialed Fuyuu's number on the phone. This time the call wasn't gloating about giant robot sex.... eh well maybe he could mention both things.

--

"A yato dressing up as my son? Well how am I suppose to know these things?" Kiyoko said annoyed and hung up with the police. "I guess we better go pick him up at the  olice station... Oh god I feel so awful. I'm a terrible mother."

"Yup, you really messed up this time, confusing an alien as our son." Ozu shook his head and simply licked his raspberry ice cream in peace as they were strolling the streets of Tokyo.

"Coming from the man who hired someone in a costume, did a background check on them and still didn't know it was our youngest son until several years later." She retorted.

"Low blow." Ozu finished up the rest of his cone and brushed the waffle cone dust off his old man hands. Kiyoko gasped at the carnage on the streets in front of them and then found the source.

"Dude, look at Babies R Us!" She stopped to see the terror.

"I hope that's not a metaphor for something you're not telling me.." In fear the old man was reaching for his car keys in his pocket but she turned his wrinkly head to the side.

They slowly walked around it to see a giant devil creature lifting up a man with cool shades and a robot trying to attack the giant (handsome) devil.

"What the hell?" They said.

--

"Oh Billy what are you doing my brother." Mr. ::dolphin noise:: Officer shook his head, watching from the clouds up in heaven above as he parked his car to get a better look.

"He's gone rogue with anger." A man... er fish... er alien man fish put a consulting hand on his shoulder.

"Jazzy-kun!" ::dolphin noise:: said, his pupils getting smaller in shock.

"Hello brother." Jazzy said soberly. He held a special box.

"Our lost in his ways brother eliminated my ... aquatic children..." 

"Have I ever told you about the time I went to Venice....? Twice...?" The God Suave said smoothly while entering the room.. er clouds. ::dolphin noise:: and Jazz let out an annoyed sigh.

"There you are! There you are! How do you do?" Kamui sung out, he teleported as a giant screen in front of the gasping gods.

"The daddy finger song..?" Jazzy questioned.

"Hey, we're trying to teach our stupid son about numbers, songs and shapes. He's a little slow ya know?" Kamui said and the TV zoomed out to them "playing" with their child.

"What do you want mortal and who sent you to purgatory?" ::dolphin noise:: asked defensively.

"Oh I think you actually know what I want and who did this, dick stains." Chief smiled.

---

Gintoki whipped the dirt from his hands from his deed and strolled out of the bathroom. 

"Oi..I forgot.." he pulled out a locket from his shirt that no one or their brother has ever seen. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=1iYG0SmEvkg

 

"You live here my princess. Don't you? Trapped inside this Old Geezer's tower, waiting for your true samurai in shining silver hair to save you. Well fear not." He blushed a little.

He thought he'll be a bad boy today. He'll merely touch the door handle of the room she usually rests her beautiful, soft mom head in at night. He couldn't imagine farther, like going inside. It would suffocate his fragile and dainty little heart.

But then he looked up.

"OI WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ROOF AND EVERYTHING ELSE?!!!" He yelled from the highest of heavens.

"Gintoki... sit down. I have much to tell you, old friend."

Out of no where Katsura and Elizabeth were crouching down on the floor, they looked very serious. The silver hair man was surprised to see his friend there but sat down as he was told.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODk0VWL9zPg

 

 

...  

.... 

....

 

...

 

...

 

...

...

"We've been sitting on stand-by since the last TBC story several months ago."

"But we heard you finally got your big break as a cameo character. We had been posing as doctors to sneak into a recent short story hence the costumes but Lizzy and I both agreed it wasn't enou-" Gin simply punched him in the head before he finished his statement.  

TBC

 

 

Episode 7: Written by: Aya, Date: October 6th, 2017

 

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP9hnH1lNEQ

 

Say...Gin-san...why are we back at our house?"  Shinpachi's voice cut into the still image.  "This isn't the typical TBC or Gintama episode."  Shinpachi sounded confused.

 

 

"Well Pachi-boy, things were getting a little out of hand at the old geezer's place so I had to flip the switch and head back to Edo."  Gintoki explained.

"At least my idiot brother is out of this dimension!"  Kagura exclaimed.

"That's nothing to be excited about!  What if they are trapped there forever?"  Shinpachi added.

"If they're SO cool and AWESOME, they'll figure out a way."  Gintoki said in an annoyed voice.

"OI!  You're just upset you've been put on the back burner!  You shouldn't even be mad!  Our TV anime just started, the live action movie was a success and the manga is still going strong!"  Shinpachi yelled.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah.  But, I'm really missing the way the light reflects off of Baldy's head...and the way the sun gleams off of Old Man's abs..."  Gintoki was sounding more and more depressed.

"Cheer up Gin-chan!  Papi can come over whenever he wants now that Kamui is dead!"  Kagura said in excitement.

"OI!  They aren't dead, they're just stuck in purgatory!  Well...eh I guess you're kind of right Kagura-chan."  Shinpachi gave a nonchalant answer.

"We can't dwell on that Shinpachi.  We have to focus on a few things, our own well-being and the well-being of that MIL-" but before Gintoki could answer, a slobbering sound effect could be heard.

"She's married Gin-chan, you should know better!"  Kagura said, after seemingly knocking out Gintoki.  As Gintoki was starting to groan and get back to his feet, he heard honking outside of the tea shop.  The three stepped outside and saw Yamazaki driving a jeep with 3 other passengers.

"Yamazaki-san?"  Shinpachi was confused.  He recognized two of the passengers, Shougo and Hijikata, but the third man was unknown to him.

"Oi, Boss.  Get those two boneheads and yourself in the jeep, we have to meet up at base for a special meeting that Kondou wants to have.  He also invited Otae, but she refused to come."  Sougo said, bored.  Gintoki shrugged and head down the stairs, but in his mind, he knew he could get some of the precious screen time he craved.

"Who's this 80's looking guy?"  Gintoki asked, pointing to the guy in the far left of the vehicle.

"Not really sure, apparently good friends of the deceased."  Yamazaki answered.

"The deceased?  Oh no...did someone die?"  Shinpachi said.

"Well no ::dolphin noise::, but you guys probably didn't know him."  Hijikata answered.  The three shrugged and got into the vehicle with the others.  The man from the 80's turned around to looked Gintoki dead in the eyes,

"Name's Billy, nice to meet you."  he shook Gintoki's hands.  Billy quickly whipped his hands on his pants after releasing Gintoki's hand was sticky for some reason.

"Yamazaki-san, why are you wearing sunglasses?  There's an overcast."  Shinpachi asked.

"I uh...it's a fashion choice."  Yamazaki stuttered out.  Shinpachi cocked his eyebrow but gave it no further thought.

"Billy-chan, how do you know the Shinsengumi?"  Kagura asked the slick man.

"Well, a good buddy of mine served this unit for quite awhile..."  Billy stared out in the distance, glancing at passerbys.  The 7 eventually reached the base of the Shinsengumi and huddled through the entrance.  They all looked around as a grand ceremony was taking place.  Flowers, rows of chairs, angelic singing, the whole shebang.  Kondou was standing at a podium on a stage where the whole get together was happening.  Behind him was an empty casket with a picture placed at the head.

"TOSHI!  Everyone!  You finally made it!"  Kondou ran off the stage and gave his Vice-Chief a big hug.

"OI!  Kondou-san get off of me!"  Hijikata shoved him and brush off his jacket.

"So, we have everything set up Chief?"  Sougo asked, taking a seat in the back row.

"Yes...the obituary is written and all search parties have been called off...I still can't believe he's gone."  hundreds of Shinsengumi members began to flood the courtyard, taking seats quickly.

"Who died Gorilla?"  Gintoki asked, taking a seat next to Sougo.  Kondou looks at the coffin with a teary eye.

"Random ::dolphin noise:: Lower Ranked Officer has been missing for months...we've searched all over Edo, but no trace.  It's as if he's vanished..."  Kondou sniffed, and head to the podium.

"OI THIS GUY DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A NAME!?"  Shinpachi was outraged.

"Not cool man, he had a family, friends...loved ones."  Hijikata said, taking a seat.  Shinpachi was at a lost for words.

"HE HAS ALL THAT YET NO NAME?!"  he screamed.

"His name is with all of us, Shimura Shinpachi, right there."  Billy pointed at Shinpachi's chest.  Billy took a seat at the end of the row.  Shinpachi looked at Kagura, trying to reason with someone, but she shrugged it off and sat down next to Gintoki.  Shinpachi gave up, and sat down too.

"Friends, colleagues, family.  We are gather here today to mourn the loss of our dear friend, Random ::dolphin noise:: Lower Ranked Officer.  He was unlike any other here at the Shinsengumi...a friend who would lend you a shoulder to cry on.  A smile to brighten up any gloomy day.  A tough spirit, fighting criminals for righteous justice.  All these qualities...packed into one human soul..."  Kondou was beginning to choke up.  "TOSHI, GET UP HERE AND FINISH THIS FOR MEEEE!"  Kondou began to bawl and he walked off the stage.  Hijikata shook his head and got on the stage.  Hijikata surveyed the crowd of his subordinates.  He spotted that Sougo was asleep, Yamazaki had tears flowing from behind his sunglasses, Billy was drinking a venti Pumpkin Spice latte, Kagura was eating some of the food laid out for everyone, Shinpachi was still visibly angry, and Gintoki was picking his nose.

"RALR Officer was a good officer.  He did what he was told, and complied to the law.  Thank you."  Hijikata wrapped it up rather quickly.  Before Hijikata could walk off stage, Billy stood up and raised his hand.

"I'd like a last word too, sir."  Billy walked up and past Hijikata, giving him a passing glance.  Hijikata could feel a strong presence in the 80's man.  Hijikata looked back at him in surprise as his presence powered over the entire ceremony.

"I'm just going to tell you all this right now, my brother here is not dead.  Oh no, no, no.  He is very much alive and looking over this event right now.  I can tell, he's kind of a blowhard like that.  You know, you're just a runt in the human society, let alone the Gods jackass!"  Billy's arm stretched and grew incredibly large as he plunged it deep into the sky and the ripped out Random ::dolphin noise:: Lower Ranked Officer.  He threw him into the empty coffin with the force of a thousand gallons of coffee.

"B-brother...why are you betraying us like this..."  RALR Officer was knocked loopy from the attack.

"Listen dude, you aren't releasing those punk ::dolphin noise:: rebel rousers from purgatory, nor that cripple waste of space.  I know you're in contact with them, I'm not stupid."  Billy took a sip.  The entire courtyard was stunned and silenced.  "What?  We're just having a discussion.  You guys can keep mourning or whatever."  Billy focused his attention back to the downed God.  "I didn't stop NERV for our sake Brother.  I stopped NERV for my sake."  Billy was now standing over RALR Officer.  He threw down the coffee and transformed into his real body, grabbing the Officer by his waist.  "Any last words brother?  Perhaps to our other two?  Jazzy was lucky to escape, but you are not so lucky."

"You...won't get away with this brother....You will pay the ultimate price...those 4 will stop you."  the God managed to eep out.

"Ha, those 4 are never escaping their endless Hell.  Have fun in the real one bro."  Billy reached into his pocket and pulled out a massive cup of coffee, dunked RALR Officer inside and ate him whole.  Billy stepped out of the courtyard, waved at everyone, and vanished.  Hijikata, stunned, took the stage.

"Uhh...ceremony dismissed, you guys can go home for the day."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I can't believe he breached Heaven that easily...we need to change the locks."  Suave said, playing a sax solo.

"I'll get right on that, Suave-dono."  Jazzy began heading to the Heavenly Deals hardware store to pick up new locks.  Kamui was still punching the screen he wished up to speak with the Gods.

"Hey!  Answer me or I'll kill you all!"  Kamui yelled with a smile.

"It's not that easy to remove you all from purgatory, Kamui-dono.  Billy put on a special seal that only he knows the answer to open it with...Wait, what's with this whole get-up?  You are starting to look like Suave-dono."

"Oh, all this?  I got my umbrella diamond studded, and got some sick bling!  Ha!"  Kamui laughed.  "But, what's not funny is the wish restrictions he gave us...look at this..."  Kamui was starting to shake with anger as he showed Jazzy what he wished for:

"BLUE!  I HATE BLUE SLURPEES, AND I CAN'T WISH FOR A CHERRY ONE!  THAT BIMMY IS GOING DOWN!"  Kamui punched the screen again.

"Chief, calm down.  It seems all of use have some restrictions...I can't wish for Diet Cola, Halfy can't wish for more ::dolphin noise::, and Shinji can't wish for new legs.  Of course we also can't wish to leave this place."  Abuto said, scratching his chin.

"I'll work on trying to break the seal as soon as we get our locks fixed...Random ::dolphin noise:: Lower Ranked Officer was killed..."  Jazzy looked down.

"Who the hell is that?  You know what, I don't care!  Ha!  Call me when you actually get some work done!"  Kamui smiled and hung up.  Kamui kicked around some sand in the vicinity, trying to keep himself entertained.  Eventually, the other two Yato joined in to make it sort of a game, who could kick up the most sand.  Of course, the sand being kicked up was all landing directly on Shinji.  Shinji sat there and cried.

"Hey wait dogs, what's that?!"  No Man pointed at something laying on the sand,

"HA!  Look at him!  Silly Shinsuke!"  Kamui put the skull on his head and wore it like a mask.  Abuto and No Man couldn't help but laugh along with the Chief.  The best thing they could do was keep themselves busy, and have a good time doing it.  The new influx of emotion caused the environment to change to a more happy place, an amusement park!

"Let's ride the coaster!  Man, I might just want to stay here forever!  Stay happy dick-sprout!"  Kamui yelled, running to the rollercoaster.  No Man wasn't phased, he knew he had to stay happy.  Abuto rolled Shinji to the rollercoaster.

"I don't want to ride..."  Shinji said, still trying to get sand out of his pants.

"Come on kid, let's all have some fun.  It's the least we can do.  Kamui doesn't get to have all this fun usually, it's not a smart idea to leave him unhappy."  Abuto said, handing Shinji a lollipop he wished for.  "But, I know the Chief.  He wants out of here more than anything.  He will do anything, and kill anyone to get that red slush."  Abuto said, approaching the coaster.  He lifted Shinji in the chair and placed him in the seat behind Kamui.  Abuto joined Kamui in his row, while No Man sat with Shinji.

The four rode the rollercoaster and had a fantastic time.  The Yatos got off and were laughing up a storm, high fiving and having a good time.  The Rollercoaster began to move again, and they could hear a whiny scream.

"Can't help to think that we forgot something...Ha!  Probably nothing!"  Kamui smiled and walked towards the next fun part of the park.

---------------------------------------------------

"Uhg...my head...THE ROOF!"  Guano had finally woken up from being knocked out to only realize just now that the roof of the penthouse was gone.  "WHY IS THERE A HOMELESS MAN IN THE LIVING ROOM!?"  Guano saw Madao sitting on the couch eating some chips.

"Oi!  You're finally awake, I'm just catching up on some soap operas...So good!"  Madao shed a single tear.  He has never felt such simple pleasures like this in quite some time.

"You have to leave!  What if my parents come home and see th-"  But as soon as he said that, he heard it,

"GUANO, WHERE IS MY ROOF!?"

TBC

 

 

Episode 8: Written by: Cha, Date: October 8th, 2017

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP9hnH1lNEQ

 

"Oi that's the last time I go to a funeral. Who thought that some crazy dude could stretch his arms like that? This isn't some kind of City Z hero nonsense." Gintoki said slightly annoyed but mostly bored.

"Yeah Gin-Chan, what a freak. And all they put on the table was chips. No salsa, dip or nothin'! It was doomed from the start uh-huh." Kagura replied.

"He was pretty creepy I'll admit... And hey! Those were suppose to be for everyone." Shinpachi lectured as always.

"Tell it to my unsatsified stomach, Shinpachi boi." Kagura said and it growled loudly.

"Well it least with that scene gone, we can focus on more important things. Like the success of the live action movie and the season premiere." Shinpachi added.

"And all I ::dolphin noise:: want is my recognition as the head of the dad trio. But what is this ::dolphin noise:: I get instead? These yato bubs think they can steal my spotlight AND claim to be dads now too! There can only be ONE dad trio, bubs." Gintoki said and spat.

"YOOO HOOOOOOOOO YORGUNZYA!" A familiar voice wrung.

"I HEAR YA TALKIN' ::dolphin noise:: ABOUT ME. That's not cool man!"

"Gin-San! It's that 80's guy who killed his brother!" Shin exclaimed.

"Yeah the dude with no name!" Gintoki said.

"But his name and memories live in our hearts and our beloved ones." Kagura said.

"But you never met him before the funeral.." Shinpachi said.

"ENOUGH! You're wasting too much space here, lads. How long do you think a chapter can be anyways?" Billy took one big ::dolphin noise:: squish of his big ::dolphin noise:: caramel frap and did a thunder god clap. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD__XcT5Jd0

 

 

"Ugh, what is this blaring horrible rock music? It's killing my ears." Kagura said annoyed.

"The name of the group who sings this sounds familiar though..." Shinpachi said and then looked at Kagura in horror.

"K-Kagura-chan...?!" He was shaking and handed her a mirror.

"Oh no! I'm old! I know the fairer the skin the more it gets wrinkles but." She said eyeing her now bushy grey eyebrows. Somehow she still had her regular voice. Gin and Shin tried their best not to laugh.

"No! You're Old Man-san!" Shinpachi said shocked. Gintoki got up from the blast and the two were even more shocked.

"Lemme guess, I'm the purp furry or something.." He covered his mouth when he heard the feminine voice. "Could it really be???" He looked down at the blue suit he was now wearing, boobs! But not just anyone's boobs.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!" He/she screeched and then Yes Man/Sadaharu licked his cheek, causing Gin to fall over.

"Arf!" Sadayesman said.

"Oi, oi." Someone get this kiss ::dolphin noise:: glasses off of me or he'll get neutured." Gin said in his girly voice and got happy again. "A voice of pure velvet!"

"But Gin- I mean Kiyoko-chan, we've never even heard her- I mean his I mean your YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN." Shinpachi got irritated.

"Hey don't talk to our son like that! obey me wife." Kagura said in authority to Gintoki but they didn't take her seriously.

"So if you three are who you are then I must be.." Shinpachi looked down but... nothing had changed! "Oi, I'm not Guano-San after all.. oh no wait. where's my glasses."

In the corner Gin and Kagura were consulting some clothing item. Shinji took a peek.

 

 

"How dare you talk to me like that boi! No directing for a year. Uh-huh." Kagura barked at the fuzzy frames. 

"Leave him alone! He's just a baby!" Gintoki pleaded and hugged glasses guano. 

 

"..." 

-----------------

"Uh.. uh... LOOK BONSAI TREE!" Guano said, the old man actually bought it and kid zipped away. But not before bumping into his mother.

"Uh... uh... THE LATEST COMIC BOOK!" He said and she bought it too. And then he bumped into coolest who looked at him gravely.

"Uh.. uh... Ozu..?" He made up on the spot.

"SORRY KID, BUT OZU'S ALREADY HERE AND GETTING PRETTY STEAMY!" Yes Man said in his usual loud voice and flicked his bro's nose for the hell of it. He had a boo-boo where the cops falsely arrested him but his mommy had put a band-aid and kiss on it.

"WHERE'S my bouncer?" Ozu said, the steam coming out of his eyes and nose mysteriously.

"Oh lord!" Kiyoko looked in the guest bathroom. "He didn't leave down the toilet seat!" She shook her head and closed it herself.

"Aye. So I was wondering if I could use Pay-Per-Vi-." Madao said but the producer threw him out by his cardboard britches.

"Good job Old Man-San! Now then! I got a great limited time deal for you! As long as I can continue to be in this stor-" Ozu kicked Doctor Zura and Nurse Lizzy out as well. 

"NO MORE SECONDARY CHARACTERS!" Yes Man shouted as Ozu slammed the door, cracking it a bit in the process.

"Talk." Ozu simply said. He crossed his arms and looked down at his director/actor/writer/son/whatever as did his mother. The four of them sat in silence though. 

"Hey, isn't it kinda weird Cha introduced Mrs. Ozu three years ago randomly without really explaining how she got here." Yes Man popped up but was ignored in the silence.

"I really have no idea." Purp finally recalled.

"Well I do!" Doctor Katsura wasn't done yet.  He  was pushing all his arm weight into the door when Yes Man was trying to keep him out. It was an all out struggle for power. "For a small cameo fee!"

"Fine." Ozu said still pissed off.

"YES!" Zura and Lizzy zoomed back in the apartment.

..

They arrived to a familiar back alley. 

"Are sure this is the-?" Guano said.

"As sure as my name is Doctor Katsura!"

"But you're not a-" Kiyoko said but he opened the door.

"This is my final stop. Goodbye Yukimaras." Katsura fled on Elizabeth dramatically. "YES! Always keep the audience wanting more of ya, Katsura!"  He fist pumped to himself as he was out of sight from them. "OHOHOHOHO!"

"Idiot." They all said and entered inside, shocked and disgusted to see what it really was.

"We're just stoping by Socky's room, please." Ozu told the lady at the front counter.

"Is THAT a yato?" The lady looked pissed.

"Oh no. It's okay I thought he was a yato too briefly today, it's hard because No/Yes Men all look alike I suppose." She shrugged but the boys looked at her in a disgusted way.

"Thank you Kiyoko, I'm sure my mother would love to hear that the next time we go visit them." Ozu annoyingly said and she gave a silent oops.

"Sorry about that we're just all tense here about that slurpee impact that destroyed or whole business here because of them. But anyway no one is allowed to visit other rooms in Takahashi Love Hotel without buying a room first. New rule."

"Gotta go!" Guano zipped out at the speed of sound.

"Uh, I have to go clean the house!" Yes Man said and ran out too.

"COWARDS!" Ozu said and saw Kiyoko ditch too.

"See ya on the flip side Old Timer." She saluted by the door. But he reached out and grabbed her by the wrist.

"HE'S STEALING ME!" She hit the bell on the counter a million times and Ozu rolled his eyes.

"Oh no you don't woman. We're in this together. This is BOTH our rival. And he ruined your business did he not?" He proclaimed and dragged her further back to the Check-In counter.

"Let me get fired by my bosses for all I care! I am NOT going in one of those filth rooms. I actually have a reputation unlike whatever the hell is that cheap thing is you produce." Kiyoko thought about gnawing her arm off, but then how would she write? Or eat? It was weighty decisions my dude.

"Relax Kiyoko. The only way we can keep spying on Socky is to be on top of him near by. Have you ever heard the term of the enemy of my enemy is my friend? We're best buds but we gotta be business best buds in this man. For once." He said letting go of her wrist.

"No." She firmly said.

"Plus I heard the reward for the capture of the man behind all the troubles in Tokyo lately is up to 10 billion yen!" He baited her and she instantly gave him a hearty handshake.

"80/20 percent profit it is, dude!" She said happily.

"Ahah... you better be that 20 percent..." Ozu said seriously and they stopped their handshake.

"One of your regular rooms please." They both whispered. The duo saw some press/paparazzi coming in the door, murmuring about wanting to visit Socky themselves.

"One Sweet Heart's Deluxe!" The lady said and they shushed her.

"Keep it down please dude, we're trying not to be noticed. We're big celebrities."  Kiyoko said sweating from nervousness.. well as usual.

"Oh hey I do remember you guys now. You two are Tokyo's public-rated most platonic celebrity couple! I remember hearing about in that one talk show. Enjoy your night of intimacy here at our love hotel!" She said happily and they angrily snatched the key from her hand.

-------

Suddenly Jazzy had a sling of flashbacks a series he was helping his brother Suave with the purgatory isssue.

His most early and tragic one coming to mind first. He was in a net and flung into an aquarium tank. People around him galloped to his little shaking guppy self.

"Is this really the last jade tiger fish in the world?"

"This endangered species will die out soon enough. Tragedy really." 

"I will purchase this creature myself. I mean how cool is it, the color of money! I love him already. An old man told them.

"Cast! Introducing, the one and only! Jade tiger fish." He said days later.

 

The rest of the flashbacks were of random times people in Lilymu Towers would come up to his tank as he swam there.

"Jazz tiger fish!" A redhead proclaimed. "What's shakin' my brotha."

and another time

 "Hello there little adorable guy!" Some blue haired chick said but thought she was an intruder and bit her thumb.

and another time 

"It's actually sorta cute." A blonde lady spoke while pushing down that redhead man.

and another

"Hey little fella... I don't know if you remember me. But I've been around this penthouse of my boss's a few times.. Well I shouldn't say just 'boss' now. Apparently I'm his son or something.." A purp little guy said shrugging it off like it was no big deal, although it clearly could be seen that way visually with him. "You know, you don't have a name do you? Well Mikey calls you Jazz Tiger Fish.. so maybe Jazzy?"

and another 

"Take my Sammy!" Blue haired man dunked a soggy submarine in his tank.

and another..

"HI FISHY!" A loud glasses man made an impression of a fish's face.

and another..

"Hey Jazzy. This is Kiyoko, my long time wife. She's been through horrible things but all you need to know is that she's back and gonna be staying here now." His old man owner said clutching onto a lady.

"He's pretty adorable dude!"

and then..

"Jazzy.. I don't know how to feel.. I have both my parents now. But I'm just so overwhelmed." A purple thing was choking up and from then on whenever he could he'd sleep next to Jazz in his bowl or play a bunch of random games with the fish, or tell secrets to him or anything else.

"Now I remember how I got sentient.." Jazzy recalled and Suave looked in awe not knowing about his adopted brother like this himself. Jazzy look softly at a picture he kept of Guamo.

"One night while the kid was sleeping, I sprouted legs and arms because my stomach growled like hell!"

"...That's it?" Suave asked but he shook his head.

"::dolphin noise::, I'm hungry." So flashback Jazzy went in the kitchen and made a hoagie. Then he tucked kid in, kissed his head and turned off the lights in before getting back in his fish tank. Suave was still confused after this story but didn't really question it. 

"I-I just want to return and be the family pet. Especially for you, little Guano-dono." He said, tears forming in his fishy eyes.

"WHAT?! y-you're gonna leave me alone?" Suave could barely play his sexy instrument, let alone defend himself against their all mighty brother Bimmy.

----

 

 

 

"Look, if you let me go. I'll give you a part of my company or something. Or a tie to the UN perhaps." Gendo said truly not gonna keep this promise. He had been stolen from his important duties at Babies R Us earlier.

"ya ::dolphin noise::in' serious? BUDDY I'M ALREADY A GOD! HAA! What do I need with your little punk ::dolphin noise:: organization that I wasn't already conceived as? Or the world's governments for that matter?" 

He took up the entire room but then shrunk back down. 

"I don't know. You're the one who kidnapped me, Bimmy." Gendo said and then a giant robot crashed into Billy's mom's er.. I mean HIS house. He grew in size and grabbed her with ease.

"This robot again? And is it...PREGNANT? Takahashi Love Hotel I assume? I went there last weekend meself just for the view outside." The god snickered and took a sip with his free hand.

"Normally I would be proud to mention that, but I think my wife is gonna tear your head apart first before I say anything."

"Look bud. We can be here all night. If you want to keep your wife alive again or this unborn hybrid. You're gonna have to do as I say. Or-" He made a slice gester with his finger on his neck, a sound with his free hand and then slurped.

"My Unit 001 and its contents can be reinstalled easily. I don't see the issue in discussing this nonsense." He said without breaking his usual straight face.

"But buddo! You forget I'm a GOD. I can take your lady's soul away like I can slurp up this drink. Haha!" He said but got a brain freeze. "AAAH! Even as an immortal powerhouse I can't escape this pain. This is almost as worse as ::dolphin noise::in' be cursed to Earth-" Billy stopped his blabbing. 

"Earth? Did the other gods or something curse you here?" Gendo guessed and Billy started to steam up again. Is this what you need from me? To escape Earth?" Gendo questioned and Billy looked up, in a dark grin.

"So what do ya say?" He said.

Gendo just smirked back.

---------

"Welp, boys what are we waiting for? Let's enjoy ourselves even more!" Chief declared.

"Alright!" No Man said as the others got excited as well.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBOpso1GFDo

 

"I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE HEEEEEYYYYYAAA!" Kamui laughed way too loudly after this series of events and the others kinda looked away awkwardly.

"Ha! I'm having so much fun! HA! See how much fun I'm having Ossan?!?!" Kamui was bouncing off walls, literally. He was in a giant marshmallow bounce house while No Man and Shinji were just staring. 

"Yep, I see Chief..." The bunny said while reading the Purgatory Times newspaper. 

 The redheaded super ball of power went down to chug down on some of the hot chocolate river beside it. 

"Chief don't you think that you need to slow it down a bi-" No Man tried to say.

"I bet your hybrid-" He started to notice grey clouds appearing after that statement. "I-I mean your LOVING mama and papa must have loved your enthusiasm HA!" Kamui was running at super high speed as No Man clutched his fist but released it. He just couldn't get mad again. If he did he knew the consequences.

"Come on Ossan! Use that robotic arm and toss me some jellybeans!" Kamui played around.

"Chief.. we've been at this 'fun' for eleven days straight, don't you think that-" Bun tried to say but Kamui literally closed his lips with his fingers. He was use to that.

"Come on No Man! Let's bling ourselves out."  Kamui said clutching his arm like a happy school boy.

"Man, we've already done that. Six times!" 

"Well you two are no fun aren't you?" He grinned. "Just a bunch of.....sillies! Come on little child, let's play!" Kamui slung Shinji from his wheelchair and over his shoulder.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?!" Shinji protested.

"Let's have a tea party okay? I think that's what fourteen year olds like anyways! It's been so so so long I've been that age that I don't know anymore!" He said.

"Aren't you like just a few years older than me?" Shinji spoke softly.

Chief over the top laughed while running with him. He dropped him in a soft, marshmallow chair. Oh well, Shinji thought. He wished for some Fiji water in tea cup.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qJUtTIHNVA

"Have more tea! Have more tea! Have more tea!" Kamui insisted but the boy was seconds away from exploding.

"No more tea..." he said, almost throwing up.

"Oh come on now boy, it's good for you! Didn't your mama ever teach you that? Now then! What can I wish ya for?" Kamui asked being rather generous.

"I'm good."

"Fine! I wish cripple child's deepest, desire would come up right here right now! Ha!" Suddenly a handsome, dashing alien appeared in a speedo.

"ay it's yo boy." Nagisa said and the audience cheered. "Oh ::dolphin noise::, no room in the story for me." He disappeared, much to Shinji's horror and sadness.

"Don't you think that.." Shinji spoke up, burping up tea bubbles.

"That what?" Redhead smiled.

"That..."

"Come on speak up bi boi! Didn't your mama ever teach you also to-"

"That.. THAT YOU'RE JUST HIDING BEING SCARED!" Shinji bursted out. Some of the candy around him turned rotten and disappeared.

"...Excuse me?" Kamui turned his head with a smile.

"I've.. seen it before. In me. You're scared. Scared that we will never get out of here and of messing up the emotions of this delicate world. I feel the same way." Shinji spoke up. He was then dragged away by a mysterious black force when Kamui turned his head and replaced.

"That's ridiculous! This place may be a sh-... a hole anyways but we can get out of it easily." He said positively.

"Then do it." The fake Shinji said.

"Huh?"

"Get out of here since you said you can do it, you lazy good for nothing ::dolphin noise::." Fake Shinji said.

"Is that suppose to be a threat? Ha! Shut up little child or I'll... your arms and then.... you." He smiled painfully trying to censor his words.

"Geez you're acting very dickish right now Chief even for you. I can't believe, me a half yato was ever friends with a full fool like you." A fake No Man walked up and frowned. Dark clouds began covering the sky.

"Now now you guys..." Abuto walked up and tried butting in, unaware of No and Shin being fake. 

"You're unhappy and a very quick to emotion person, though you hide it with a smile. You're unhappy that you'll never see the real light of day again." Shinji said.

"All I'm seeing is an overconfident little ..piece of... of a boy." Chief said happily.

"You're unhappy. That you'll never be able to fight again or kill without this place falling in shambles.... It contains you. It drives you MAD that you can't win and destroy something for once. That's why you've been crazy happy lately and watching what you say. Controlling your surroundings is all you can do. And you're DEFINITELY unhappy because you'll never see your sister or father again." No Man said and Kamui begun clinching his fists so hard they began to crack intensely.

"Oh no..." The real Shinji and No Man had escaped the shadowy tangles and looked on horrified as Kamui was still smiling but shaking intensely at nothing in front of him.

Abuto put a hand on his shoulder. Kamui felt a little relieved looking at him eye to eye.

"...And you'll never get to have your Wild Cherry Slurpee because of all of that." Fake Abuto gravely said taking his hand off his shoulder. The shadowy figures morphed back into a single creature and then sipped its latte, its' work here was done. "OH ::dolphin noise::. Not another brain freeze!"

"YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT UNHAPPY?!!! I CAN CRUSH YOU LIKE A TWIG YOU ::dolphin noise:: BROKEN LEGGED HUMAN CHILD! AND THAT OUTCASTED, HALF HUMAN PIECE OF ::dolphin noise:: TOO! BOTH OF YOU! ALL OF YOU! EVEN ABUTO!" He gasped at the last word and started having something weird form in his eyes for once. But it wasn't liquid of pain from like being hit hard in the face of something. 

"Chief.." The real Abuto went to put his hand on his shoulder but

A giant black wave wall engulfed them, turning into a dark flooded nightmare. They sunk to the bottom of the sea as nightmarish sea weed was tangling them down, they were gasping for air but drowning as well.

"A slurpee? THAT was the thing that actually broke my redheaded alien guardian to tears? This man is weirder than I thought." Shinji said to himself as he took his final breath and of course he screamed loudly.

..

Kamui woke up, several hours later and his head was spinning. With blurry vision he saw blobs.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwitZlKZ_kI

 

"rurus!" Some lady shouted.

"Ah pipe down." A man with a deep velvety voice said and pushed her away, causing a loud crash. Chief could hear the dude's and someone else's sandals coming closer to him and then they stopped. "Yo, yato. I assume you got my letter about that place? Welcome to hell now, I guess." 

 

 

"Ah ::dolphin noise::in' geez, all this lame emotional build up just for this?" Kamui asked but actually felt intimidated for once. I mean, it was hell.

-------------

"I...don't know what I saw..." Yamazaki was the last one still at the funeral. The sun was setting and there was a more calmer vibe as the crickets began their humming. A big man came and sat down next to him.

"Can't be weirder than the day I had. I got a sandwich and they put mayo on BOTH sides of the buns." The blue haired man said. Yamazaki looked very surprised but then they embraced a happy warm hug.

"When did you arrive in Edo?" Jimmy asked.

"Oh my mommy drove me here this morning for a tour!" The big man pointed to a car in front of them. His mom was waving from the driver's seat and honked.

"It's been a while, buddy." Yamazaki said. His sunglasses hiding his smiling eyes.

A few after this, a sadist was still sleeping in a funeral fold out chair as it was pitch dark outside. He suddenly awoke from his slumber and slightly lifted his red eyes sleeping mask.

"Huh?" 

TBC

 

 

Episode 9: Written by: Aya, Date: October 9th, 2017

 

 

 

 

 

"That outta do it!"  Jazzy said, putting on the last of the new locks into heaven.

"Now he'll need these new babies to get in."  Suave was twirling the new keys around his fingers while blowing out an epic sax solo.

"Suave-dono...I must go.  I trust you will handle heaven with care.  Do not let Billy-dono in.  If he breaches, don't hold back."  Jazzy took one of the keys of the chain and embraced Suave.  "This may be the last time we speak brother.  Stay safe."  a single tear fell from Suave's shades.  Suave didn't say anything, only gave a nod.  He understood the hardships his brother was enduring, knowing his Earth family was in danger because of their brother.

-----------------------------------------

As Jazzy was returning to Earth, Billy and Gendo were heading back to the sight of the Fourth Impact:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=vJ68ovUkw58

 

 

"BANG BANG, I AM THE WARRIOR!"  Billy was singing along, while Gendo sat there stone faced and Unit-01 was jamming in the back seat.  "Enjoy it now robot, this might be the last banger you hear!"  Billy slammed on his breaks as they reached the tipped over 7/11.  "Now, take me to see NERV...or what's left of it after my pawns demolished it.  To think you'd actually come in handy..."  Billy turned off the engine and stepped out of his car.  Gendo led Billy down the secret passage where NERV was hidden.  NERV was complete cleared out, many parts of it flooded with red syrup.  "Hurry up, I don't have all day.  I feel like my time is running out.  I have to eliminate my brothers before they foil my plans."  Gendo flipped a switch underneath his usual seat at the head of the viewing commands.

"Down here is the secret I've hid from NERV and the UN for all these years.  This is the being, Lilith."  The large angel was plastered to a giant cross.  Billy rolled his eyes.

"Oh come on, really?  This bull::dolphin noise::?  You can do better than this dude."  Billy sipped his coffee and looked around the empty room.  "You know this is the room you're going to die in, right?  Kind of ::dolphin noise::ed up."  Billy just strolled along.  "Look, give me something, anything to breach heaven...oh wait just a minute...I see what you mean."  Billy's smirk came back as he noticed it, the Spear of Longinus.  He grew to his Titan size and ripped it out of Lilith's chest.  "Yes...yes!"  Billy cackled with laughter.  Gendo shrugged and took Unit-01's hand.

"Let's bounce dear."

-------------------------------------------------------

"Shinsuke!  Long time no see!  How's Hell treating you?"  Kamui gave Takasugi a big hug as he leaped onto his Hell ship.

"Kamui, please don't touch me.  I saw you wearing my "skull", how the hell did I get horns?"  Takasugi pushed him off of himself.  No Man, Shinji, and Abuto climbed aboard the ship after Kamui.

"Chief, are we in hell?"  Abuto asked, looking at all the fire around the ship.

"Bingo, you got it brother."  Bansai said, playing a somber melody on his guitar.

"There has to be a way out of here dog!  I can't be here, I'm a good guy!"  No Man said, crossing his arms.

"Well, I've tried everything.  I even tried of thinking up some Deus Ex Machinas, but nothing.  The fairies granting my wishes won't let me do it."  Takasugi said, looking up at nothing, as if there was something there.

"Uhh, well um yeah.  Look, we have to think straight, stay cool, and ask the Gods if they have any more plans."  Abuto said, trying to assess the situation.  Shinji was the one to wish up the screen this time.

"Yo little ::dolphin noise::, what's the haps?  Ohh...so you guys are in Hell huh?"  it was Suave on the other end.  Shinji looked sad after being insulted.  "Look, Jazzy is close to cracking the case, he has just one person to visit on Earth.  A man he assumes knows the secret to breaking this spell."  Suave played out a sick jam on his Sax and closed to video feed.  Shinji wheeled over to Abuto.  He told the Yato about the good news.

"Cool, so our main man Shinji here has some great news.  We might be getting out of here sooner than expected."  Abuto said with a smile.  As if the color was flowing back into him.

"Say Ossan!  You're looking better than ever!  Ha!"  Kamui gave him a big high five, then the two did a secret handshake that No Man soon joined.  The other three on the ship looked on as they were excluded from the awesome handshake.

"Why don't we have a cool handshake like that Shin-"  But before Bansai could finish the statement, Shinsuke pushed him off the ship.  He fell into the void.

"Why did you do that?"  Shinji asked, looking over the edge.

"He'll show back up eventually.  I do this every few days.  It's pretty funny actually."  Takasugi said, chuckling to himself.  The Yato finally finished their awesome handshake and laughed up a storm.

"Bro, I can't wait to go back to our dimension and ham it up like the good ol days!"  No Man said.

"You're right Halfy!  That'll be the day, if those ::dolphin noise:: Gods got off their ::dolphin noise:: once in awhile!"  Kamui said with an angry smile.

-------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, back at the love hotel.  Ozu and Kiyoko finally managed to get to the rooms, avoiding as much paparazzi as possible.

"I think the cost is clear dude."  Kiyoko said, looking back and forth.

"Let's get this spying started!"  Ozu put on a ninja mask and went into stealth mode, crawling on the floor and doing flips.  Kiyoko knew he was just showing off, so she just walked casually behind him.

"There!  This is the room!"  Ozu said in a hushed voice.  He pointed at the sign that said, "Visit the mega-star Socky (at a reduced price)" hanging from the door handle. Ozu did a thousand hand motions to signal that all was clear.  Kiyoko rolled her eyes and walked over to the door and crouched down.  Ozu reached into his pocket and pulled out two plastic cups with a string attached.  He handed one cup to Kiyoko, and he motioned her to put it up to her ear.

"We will communicate like this, no wiretapping or anyone to listen in on our calls."  Ozu said quietly.  Kiyoko stood up and dropped the cups.

"Look dude, this is just ridiculous (but kind of fun).  But we have a job to do!"  Kiyoko said, standing up.  She put on a quick disguise she had planned to use.  It was a pizza delivery person.  She knocked on the door.

"This is the Sock man!  Come on in ladies!"  a loud, wolly voice could be heard from inside.  Kiyoko reluctantly opened the door and said,

"Pizza!  Someone ordered a few pies for this room!"  she said with a fake smile, trying hard not to laugh.

"Pizza?  For the Sock Man?  How generous!  I hope they paid though, cause I'm flat broke."  Socky stayed in bed.

"Yes...they paid for everything.  I'm going to place these boxes...right over here."  she placed the pizza down on a table far, far away from the bed.  As she was about to leave the room, a bright light shined down from the ceiling.  A loud rumbling could be heard and a giant fish like human descended from it.  Kiyoko's disguise fell off her face, while Ozu walked in to see all the commotion.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY WI-"  but he stopped as soon as the light went away.  Stand there was Jazzy, the fish.  Ozu and Kiyoko looked on at the fish, but couldn't quite put two and two together.

"Wh-what the hell?  Ozu and Kiyoko?  Giant fish God?  Is the Sock dead or what?"  Socky got out of bed and confronted Jazzy.  Jazzy looked over and noticed Ozu and Kiyoko.  He looked away, knowing he couldn't blow his cover just yet.

"Hello Socky-dono.  Yes, I am a God.  You contain information I need."  Jazzy placed his hand on Socky's,..uh, shoulder?  "You know the one named Billy, don't you?"

"Yeah man, I hired him to run some errands for me!"  Socky said, trying to keep cool.

"No, Socky-dono.  You hired him to sabotage these guys' businesses."  Jazzy said, shaking his head.

"HEY, WHY RAT OUT THE SOCK MAN!"  Socky said.  Ozu and Kiyoko looked visibly pissed.

"You...made me arrest my son!  I'LL TEAR YOUR LININGS APART!"  Kiyoko tried lunging at Socky, but Jazzy stopped her with his fin.

"Not now, Kiyoko-dono.  He knows the answers.  I know you and Billy were closer than just some hired goon.  He too is a God much like me.  Tell me everything."  Jazzy said, standing over the sock.

"A..alright.  I've known Billy for decades now.  About 35 years now...an old friend of mine."  Socky said, sitting down on the bed.  "Back when I started acting, he was there with me.  When I made my big break being the spokesperson for Hitoshi Beauty Cream, he was the first to congratulate me."

 

"It's like he came from out of no where.  I met him one day on the streets of Tokyo.  He was hitch hiking down a busy strip, and I happened to not have any of my hundreds of girlfriends with me at the time.  So I pulled over and picked him up.  Billy was very kind, cool, dressed well, and was very wise.  The first thing he even did to me was shake my hand, get my name, and wished me the best on life.  I asked where he needed to go, and he told me, 'Where ever life takes me.'  He was truly a cunning man, cleaver.  He convinced me to let him live me with me.  Times were tough, and ol Socky needed help paying rent.  I obliged.  Having lived with him for well around 8 years, he was a good friend of mine.  Like a brotha.  The year he moved out, he told me in 27 years, we would meet again and that the world will be forever changed.  You know dog, I never really took anything on it, but seeing a fish God right now, makes me think he was right!  So, 27 years pass and he meets up with me just last week.  No call or anything, he just shows up.  He tells me to follow his lead, for he will usher in a new world for the humans.  Didn't think much of it at the time."

"You don't really think much, do you?"  Ozu butted in.

"Hey dog, I'm trying to tell my story here!  So, he orders me this love room and says that 3 chosen warriror will walk in and obey my will!  So you know I was on board for that.  I was kind of hoping for some lady warriors, but that's ok."  Socky finished his story and drank some sock water.

"Did he ever mention anything about a seal?"  Jazzy asked.

"Nah dog, they are super cute though!"

"Not those kind of seals Socky-dono.  I mean something like scripture, a password, something to unlock a portal to let's say purgatory or something."  Jazzy added that on pretty bluntly.

"Well, now that you mention it Fish Man, Billy did tell me he had a back-up plan, and entrusted me with a secret."  Socky said, pondering.

"The fate of the world rests on your stitches Socky-dono.  Tell me the secret."  Jazzy said, kneeling before him.

"One Venti Iced Caramel Frappuchino Blended Coffee...Lay on the Whip Cream."  as soon as Socky spoke the holy words, a giant portal began to rip open in front of him.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"Got any 5's dog?!"  No Man asked Kamui.

"Ha!  Go Fish!  Might as well fish for a working dick while you're at it!"  Kamui was met with a slap.  But before No Man could reach for his next card, a vortex opened, sucking everyone up into it.

"FINALLY!"  Shinsuke yelled as he was thrust into the void.  Everyone was screaming, especially Shinji.  Eventually everyone popped out in front of Socky, Jazzy, Ozu, and Kiyoko.

"What the hell?  What did I just do dog?!"  Socky yelled, as everyone fell in front of him.  The portal spit out Shinji, then Takasugi, then No Man, then Abuto, then Kamui, and finally Bansai.

"Told you he comes back after I throw him into the void."  Takasugi said, he was swiftly met with a guitar to the head.

TBC

 

 

 

Episode 10: Written by: Cha, Date: October 9th, 2017

 

 

 

 

Ozu and Kiyoko opened the door to the penthouse. Guano and Yes Man had been perked up and looking through the peep hole to when they heard the parents come home.

"Ow!" Guano said as the door had hit right in the peeping eye. 

"Haha! It bruise your little forehead. That wouldn't have hurt as much if you were wearing your costume!" Yes Man teased.

"I didn't feel like keeping it on.. it chafes sometimes." Guano said sad, taking his brother too seriously once again.

"Why were you boys crowding by the door." Kiyoko asked, lazily flopping on the couch and taking off her shoes with her feet. 

"Sooo what happened?" Yes Man and Guano ignored the question and perked up to the both of them.

"We found out about the truth of Socky. Blah blah all powerful Gods and all that. Yadda yadda we gave our room afterwards to some purp haired guy and his plant friend because they wanted to watch Kangaroo Jack movies. yadda blah blah, what a waste of a perfectly good Saturday night for work." Ozu said annoyed.

"And...?" Yes Man said looking at him with beady eyes.

"Wait... all powerful Gods? Did you just say-tha-" Purp got cut off.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Now when do I get my 80% income moolah?!" Kiyoko said annoyed and reached her hands up for the sweet green dough.

"Never, I made it up. Who would pay that much money for something you and I do on a regular basis." Ozu said and she started to steam up angrily like he usually did.

"WHAT?!" She exclaimed.

"I knew it! I'm gonna win!" Yes Man pumped up.

"NOOO!" Guano said dramatically with the back of his hand on his forehead.

"Or hell, anyone for that matter in the industry." Ozu added.

"What..?" Yes Man said confused 

"He didn't mean THAT, Dad's talking about everyone in the entertainment industry backstabbing and sabotaging the other. Haha!" Kid said weirdly happy about it. 

"NO I'M LOSING THEN!" Yes Man exclaimed and Guamo rejoiced.

"THAT'S IT! I'm suing both you and that sock for damages!" Kiyoko pointed at the producer and got up from the couch.

"Damages for what?! I didn't do anything!" Ozu spoke loudly but the mangka already slammed the bedroom shōji door.

"HA! See? I told you they didn't do anything at that hotel. You're weird, Yes Man." Guano claimed victory in an all knowing tone and Yes Man paid up a restaurant gift card.

"Now what am I gonna do, I don't have the money to eat." Yes Man sighed.

"Well I know what I'm doing today! Kids eat free!" Guano exclaimed and ran off.

Yes Man sighed again, sat on the couch next to his sulking old man and leaned against his shoulder.

"You know, money just comes and goes but memories-" He begun.

"DID YOU TWO JUST BET ON WHAT I THINK YOU JUST DID?" Ozu barked, finally putting two and two together. Yes Man fell the other way on the couch from the blast.

---

The three amigos sat on the curb outside of Tokyo in front of an abandoned 7/11. China was smiling, twirling his umbrella and dangling his feet from the short ledge. No Man was chewing on a toothpick and reading up about gold bling in a magazine and Abuto was just sighing, the usual. 

"What are we gonna do now?" Abuto said concerned for the plot. "We already got tricked by our only sources for the slurp and made it through hell and back, literally."

"Well there's no way the No Dawg is going back to the shadowy corners of unemployment from not being in an active fanfiction! Do you know the last time KM actually aired on Nicktoons Network, let alone the only episode I got a starring role in?" He said somewhat agitated but Abuto was about to speak up and No Man clenched his fists. "We're not mentioning that cock joke episode."

"To the Yato Cave!" Chief shot up from the curve.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyAD87_zfek

 

Kamui watched over his men in a World War II like Nazi-German uniform while they were looking up dets on the web for online slurpee shopping. They were that desperate at this point.

"NEIN! NEIN!" Kamui lashed nose bleeding No Man at his computer desk a good one. "Hand it over, scrub!" No Man clung onto his box of Kleenex as Kamui tried and successfully ripped it out of his dirty hands. Throwing it in the fiery furnace. 

"Chief I got something." Abuto said and the little China man ran up quickly to his monitor in excitement. "A coupon for a buy one get one free diet cola!" 

Kamui smiled and slugged his real arm once again.

"You men are silly and I like it! BUT NOT AT THIS MOMENT." Kamui took off his white gloves and the rest of his cosplay items and then threw them in the furnace aside No Man's filth tissues.

"Hey that costume was paid out of my pockets." Abuto added.

"We need a plot device and we need it now boys. We can't just have the story ending on a non-slurping note and endless amount of filler dialogue like usual! After all the stupid things we've done this past few weeks in this fanfiction. Especially with THIS lazy bones too preoccupied making a wallpaper of us to write a decent plot!" He pointed to the sky.

 

 

"Uh where Chief..?" Abuto said and No Man wondered himself too.

"I got a new idea boys! Follow me." He gestured and they obeyed.

"Ossan, you ever get the feeling Chief doesn't know where he's gonna go sometimes?" No Man asked.

"Do you even know him?... and 500 yen says no." He chuckled as they walked.

"Deal!"

"Too bad because I'm broke." Bunny chuckled.

"::dolphin noise:: OLD MAN." No Man said defeated.

All of a sudden a dark cloud full of electricity and lightning could be visibly seen from which street they residing on. Bimmy was piercing through the heavens!

"Anyways. I found a slurpee exchange program! You send three coupons in!" Kamui said pointing to a newspaper, purposefully ignoring the events behind him.

"Chief, don't you think we should go inside. The weather is kinda bad now." He said and casually moved his head out of the way as a tornado was picking up a car aiming for his skull. 

"Yeah man, this jumpsuit is dry clean only!" No Man added. 

"Well you don't seem to keep it clean or dry much do you?" Kamui smiled and then leaped off a car high in the sky and onto skyscraper. Cracking the cement roof in the process.

"Where are you going?" Abuto asked.

"Time to squash this annoying little bug once and for all so we can finally get drinks. Come on you lazy bones!" Kamui yelled from way up there and smiled with the rage of a million suns.

Abuto sighed and followed into the giant lightning storm, No Man tagging behind. Just as that was happening, the Shinsengumi pulled up at the scene.

"Oi, let's get to the bottom of this hellish storm." Hijikata ordered when Yamazaki opened his door for him. 

"Commander w-what's that?!" One of the men asked, pointing to a large creature on top of a skyscraper with a giant name tag and mocha. 

"Let's dance once and for all, Bimmy!" Kamui laughed while leaping high enough to see the giant titan/god/(handsome) devil.

"Y-YOU ESCAPED?! AND IT'S NOT BIMMY, BILLY!" The God said angrily and brutally stabbed Kamui with the Spear of Longinus.

"CHIEF!" His second and third in command yelled.

-------

Then the author remembered Shinji and how she forgot to put him with the alien dads. "::dolphin noise::. No wait.. I got an idea!" 

 

"WHAT?!" Shinji was feeling frightened and scared at being transported like this. But saw something even more scary.

 

 

"Of course wearing that would make you look big Yui, EVERYTHING makes you look big...Oh Shinji, you really come at the worst times don't you?" Gendo said calmly. 

Shinji tried to hold in his puke and rushed to open the door. But sadly he was too short because of his wheelchair to grab it. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmoc-UYaC2M

 

Gendo rolled his eyes at his son's usual overreacting. 

...

Shinji was sitting on a living room couch hours later, propping his dumb casted legs on there. He tried to reach his phone to call for help but alas, he couldn't and it died anyway. He saw his father exited out the bathroom, red velvet robe on and a cup of scotch in the other hand. Now he really tried to grab his phone again. 

"Father...I am so sorry." 

"Don't mention it." 

"R-really?" He said surprised.

"No I mean really, don't mention it ever again."

 "Father... I overheard you gave that spear.. thingy.. mahbobble.. to that god. It sent me to purgatory and hell!" Shinji said disgusted.

"Hell and purgatory are a state of mind, Shinji. What is living will be given back eventually." He said playing on his phone. "::dolphin noise:: this Simoniscool42."

"No! I mean I really was at he-!" Shinji sighed and gave up, slouching on the couch. He couldn't run away, and he didn't mean from his problems. His legs were still ::dolphin noise:: broken as ever.

"I'm off. There's a terrible storm out right now, threatening what's left of NERV. I would like you to leave here when I go." Gendo went to change off into his formal attire.

"RROOOOOOOAAAARR." The Eva called from the bathroom, changing into her regular uh clothes?

"Fine. He can stay but no touching my On Demand channels. Those cost extra." Gendo put on his jacket.

"D-do you need my help at NERV?" Shinji offered.

"Try walking to me and asking me that again." Gendo said dickishly and exited his apartment. 

His robot, I mean unit 01 I mean mother got out of the bathroom and sat next to him.

"MRRRRGAAARRGH." Yui blushed and lovingly nuzzled and comforted her son who laid in her lap in his usual depressed stage. He just felt grumpy about his father rejecting him again. 

"He's really a lot of work, you know that?" Shinji spoke in a lower voice and chuckled a little.

 

"MUMMMMGGGRRASHHA" She pointed to her stomach and gestured Shinji to get closer.

"Oh no, mother I'm okay.." Shinji said backing away but she gently pushed him to it. Shinji thought he would hear a heartbeat or something but instead it made fax machine noises.

"T-this is sooooo weird." Shinji said to himself.

She kissed his head, got up, accidentally broke the hallway in the process from being so big and decided to make cookies for him. Shinji looked at the clock and sighed. It was silent for another hour until

"NUMMBEHFHGASSAAAHHHAAAAGAAAAAA." His Eva cried and not in the usual string of random sounds.

"Mother!" Shinji finally was able to reach for his wheelchair and flew into the kitchen. Oil was on the floor where she was laying in pain.

"OH NO.." 

It was at this point Shinji realized his cool robot mom went into labor and he would be the only one to drive her, despite a dead phone and broken legs. He actually wished he was still with his alien dads guardians. 

--

Ozu and Yes Man were going downtown as the storm was brewing, unaware on how bad it really was.

"LAWSUIT? I eat companies like her for breakfast! Actually more like a snack. HA!" He said pissed off. A stop sign nearly it his head but he stopped to fix his shoe lace.

"Ozu.. don't you think it's too dangerous to be going to the courthouse to file some legal papers with this storm-" Yes Man shook in fear but Ozu cut him off.

"Silence! You have no room to talk after what filth you and your brother did today. Be glad I didn't fire or ground both of you." Ozu grabbed the courthouse's door but suddenly..

"Old Man-san!" A silver haired samurai yelled and was running up behind him along with a baldy.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiG2xO-4Y-s

 

 

"I do have a name you know." Ozu said clenching his hand on the door. "Anyways I'm busy."

"But you have to come with us! It's important." Umibozu added.

"Lemme guess, something about defeating this storm or something stupid." Ozu said and they all sat in silence for several seconds.

"NO! You missed my birthday party! I was so mad I ran down here to tell you!" Gintoki yelled and held up a piece of strawberry shortcake.

"Yes but you probably wanted screen time too." Ozu rolled his eyes and looked at his watch.

"What a shame Gintoki! Here I was going to save the world with you and then you tell me-" Hitler dad scolded him. 

"Can it Baldy. You wanted to make an appearance too, probably even more so than me." Gintoki added, annoyed.

"I JUST HAVEN'T HAD ANY CAMEOS AT ALL! EVEN THAT LONG HAIRED TERRORIST'S DUCK GOT MORE TIME THAN I DID!" Umi cried it up.

"Uh don't mean to interrupt your middle aged blubbering Mr. but.." Yes Man pointed to an object in the sky that was being stabbed with a larger than life rod.

"K-K-KAMUI?!" Umibozu looked in absolute terror.

---

Guano was chowing down on an all you can eat buffet (while sitting in a booster seat.)

"One more round, on me!" He giggled alone and the waitress just rolled her eyes. He sobbed a little from this with BBQ sauce all over his mask and chewing on a chicken leg. His phone started to ring.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDTsEDInqcI

 

"Hello?" The actor asked timidly but then got stern. "If this is another interviewer, I'M NOT talking off my suit for the public, no matter how much you pay me."

"Guano-dono... You don't know me but I'm a long time friend of... uh, your dad. I need your moral support and help. Please come visit me." 

Guano looked in awe after heading this phone call and frightened. The waitress came back and put down the check.

"Here's your bill sir, sorry but the coupon you gave me expired three years ago." The waitress said in a deadpan way.

"YES MAN!" Guano yelled.

TBC

 

 

Episode 11 (Final Episode): Written by: Aya, Date: October 10th, 2017

 

 

 

 

 

"I told you, I don't like being called Bimmy!  Now you got my heaven breacher all dirty!"  Billy did not look pleased.  Kamui laid limp at the end of the Lance, blood flowing from the two wounds.  Billy reach to the end of the Spear and slid Kamui's motionless body off of it.  As Kamui was falling to his demise, a figure jumped in and caught Kamui in mid-air.

"U-Umibouzu..."  Abuto said, looking on in shock as the Chief's father risked his life to save Kamui's body.  Umibozu landed on a building with a heavy thud, protecting his son from the impact.

"Kamui...please wake up..."  Umibozu held his son.  He began ripping off his coat and wrapping up the holes on Kamui's body.  "I hope this can somewhat help...Kamui...if you can hear me, me and your sister love you."  Umibozu looked up at the Titan.  Billy was cocking back his hand, attempting to throw the Spear into Heaven.

"Don't say that you dumb ::dolphin noise::."  Umibozu's gaze broke and he quickly realized that his son just spoke.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZdds56v770

 

"You two are scum!  Ha!  But that Bimmy guy sure is worse!"  Kamui stood up, to the best of his abilities.

"No!  You can't fight like that Kamui!  You are heavily damaged."  as Umibozu said this, Abuto and No Man landed next to them.

"Chief!  Are you alright...how are you still standing dog?"  No Man asked.

"Chief...you can't fight in that condition.  I won't let you push yourself that far."  Abuto made Kamui sit down.  "Let me and No Man take care of Billy.  Umibozu, take care of Chief...he needs you even if he doesn't want to admit it."  Abuto said, aiming his umbrella at Billy.  He threw it with the force of a Yato pro javelin thrower in the Universal Olympics.  The umbrella grazed Billy's cheek, leaving a huge scratch.  Billy stabbed the Lance into the ground and gave out a loud yell.

"::dolphin noise:: MAN, THAT HURT!"  Billy signaled for Abuto and No Man to bring it on.

"If I don't make it back dawg...you're the best boss I've ever had."  No Man nodded at Kamui and leapt off with Abuto towards Billy.  Kamui could only look on, as his wounds began to hurt.  The adrenaline was starting to wear off.

"It's ok Kamui, I'll get some help for you in no time.  I called in a big favor with my two buds."  Umibozu said, reassuring his son.

--------------------------------------------------

"Oi, that baldy told us to meet in a dark alley for some person in a trench coat...he's making us his drug peddlers isn't he Old Man?"  Gintoki said, looking around the darkened street. 

"This is no place for a producer!  He better not make me late for filming of the next episode."  Ozu said, cross his arms.

"Don't you think the world is a bit too busy ending for you to make your employees work?"  Gintoki questioned.

"As if you aren't doing the same!"  Ozu yelled.

"Oh yeah...well they were supposed to clean the house days ago!  Bunch of ::dolphin noise:: slackers."  Gintoki said.  As the two dads were bickering, a person dawning a large trench coat appeared out of the shadows.

"Deliver this to Umibozu...his son needs it now more than anything."  the person handed them a black briefcase.  "Please, open it and marvel at the glory."

 

 

The man stepped out of the darkness to reveal his identity.

"BROZU?!"  Ozu yelled.

 

 

"I ain't looking stylish, but little bro, this has to be done.  I heard word that my (former) No Man had gone missin and called up some people.  Knew you was hangin out with his new boss's dad, gave him a ring about a day ago.  He texted me to pick up somethin special, the boys needed it.  Last I seen No Man, he seemed as happy as ever, and there's no doggin there.  If his homie is in trouble, little old Brozu will bail him out.  Now get goin lil bro bro and perm head, time's wastin."  Brozu faded back into the darkness.

"I can't believe my brother would do such a kind act out of the coldness of his heart..."  Ozu clinched the briefcase tight.  As Brozu disappeared, a honk could be heard in the streets.

"Oi, Boss, need a ride?"  it was Sougo and Kondou driving their police car.  The two dads dashed towards the cruiser and hopped in.

--------------------------------------------

"HA, YOU GUYS ARE WEAK!  TRY YOUR BEST ON THE BILLY!"  Billy was swiping at the on-coming Yato.  Abuto and No Man were running up the Titan, and trying to hit punch after punch, but Billy withstood everything.

"He's too strong dog...I ain't cut out to do this heavy fightin like you and Chief!"  No Man said, trying to catch his breath.

"Don't worry Halfy, we aren't trying to completely destroy him, just distract him long enough."  Abuto said, whipping sweat off his face.  Abuto jumped in again, nailing a big kick in Billy's right knee.  Billy reached down and managed to actually grab Abuto before he could get to safety.

"Ossan!"  No Man yelled, he tried jumping up, but Billy used his other hand to slap No Man back into a building, sending him flying through to the bottom floor.  Billy clinched the older Yato tightly, making blood come out of his mouth like an anime character always does.

"It's no use boys!  You failed me once, and I had to get rid of you!  But, you're all just like bugs, thinking I've squashed you for good; you just keep coming back don't ya?"  Billy leaned against the Lance, toying with Abuto.

"You...are worse than the devil...You actually think you are him don't you...Hehehe...I've seen Hell and you look like the scum sitting at the bottom of it."  Abuto spit on Billy's hand, which angered him.

"WELL!  That's it buddy!  You're my next meal friend."  Billy reached into one of his cartoon pockets and pulled out a giant coffee cup.  "You got any last words Bunny?  You know, I liked you the most, out of the three of you.  You were the smartest my friend, shame you betrayed me."  Billy said, shrugging.

"There....was four of us...."  Abuto managed to say, running out of breath.

"Huh?"  but before Billy could think, a giant robot was running right for him.

"MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, MY MO- I MEAN ROBOT IS HAVING A BABY!"

 

 

Shinji kicked Billy square in the chest, causing him to release Abuto and drop the coffee all over himself.  Shinji just kept running, cause this time, he knew he had to run away.  Abuto landed, albeit a bit hard on a building not to far from Kamui.  Abuto's arm broke the fall, the real arm, breaking it.  He winced, covered in blood.  He peered over to the next few building over and saw Umibozu watching the giant robot running, and Kamui drifting in and out of consciousness.  No Man was no where in sight.  Abuto had a worried look on his face, wishing and praying that his green clad friend was still alive in all that rubble.  As Abuto began to try and stir to his feet, he heard loud police sirens and a megaphone come on.

"Oi, baldy, we got the package.  Come and get it."  he recognized the bland voice of Gintoki.

---------------------------------------

Umibozu jumped down and met up with the three Dads.  "I'm glad you two pulled through, I knew you would.  He needs this more than ever now."  Umibozu took the briefcase and gave Ozu and Gintoki dad bro fists.  He jumped back up to where Kamui was laying and tried waking him up.

"What now...bald ::dolphin noise::..ha..."  Kamui was trying to stand up, but Umibozu stopped him again.

"Son, take this."  Umibozu unclicked the locks on the briefcase, and inside contained the one thing Kamui desired most in the world.

 

 

"YES, YES!"  Kamui reached into the briefcase and grabbed a hold of the cherry slush.  The cold beverage stung fingers numb as a single tear rolled down his eye.  He squeezed the plastic cup, and all the slush went into his mouth just like Popeye with spinach.  Kamui shot up, his body rejuvenated, his blood pumping, his muscles brimming!  "BY THE POWER OF YATO, I HAVE THE POWER!"  Kamui leaped over to Abuto's building and got him up.  "OSSAN, LET'S KILL THAT ::dolphin noise::!"

"Kamui...but your wounds..."  Abuto said, still hurting.

"NO TIME FOR THAT, HALFY...WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?!"  Kamui jumped down into the rubble and pulled out a dusty, green man covered in blood.  "YEP, STILL ALIVE.  YOU CAN STILL DO THIS!"  No Man looked up and saw his boss.  A smile came across his face as he managed to just barely stand.  The three Yato stood shoulder to shoulder, bloody and battered staring down Billy.  Billy was still dazed by the kick delivered by the oh so heavy robot.

"Kamui!  Grab the Lance!"  Umibozu shouted out to them.

"SHUT UP OLD ::dolphin noise::!"  Kamui yelled, signalling his men to follow them.  If it was on either pure adrenaline or some miracle, the three were running with full force down the building and onto the streets below.  They passed by the Shinsengumi, Gonard, The Dads, and finally reached the Lance stuck in the ground.  Kamui dug his umbrella underneath it and flipped the Lance out of the ground.  By this time, Billy had noticed what happened.

"HOW THE HELL ARE YOU STILL ALIVE, I PIERCED YOU WITH MY HEAVEN BREAKER!"  Billy roared.

"MAYBE I JUST WASN'T MEANT TO GO TO HEAVEN YOU ::dolphin noise::!"  Kamui, Abuto, and No Man all three grabbed the Lance as it was descending back towards them, and with their superhuman strength, heaved it straight through Billy's heart.

 

 

Billy fell to the ground, demolishing many buildings with his massive Titan form.  The Lance stuck into the ground, and he slid to the bottom of it.  His life force was starting to fade, more and more blood pouring out of his wound.  He was looking straight up into the sky.

"Is this it...to go like this at the hands of mortals...."  Billy coughed up more blood.  He knew was reaching his last moments of life on Earth.  The dark, grey clouds began to produce a slight drizzle.  The rain was hitting his long, (handsome) hair, dripping down into the blood that pooled underneath him.  "I'm sorry...brothers."

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91hGB8YyGt4

 

Kamui, Abuto, and No Man looked on, rain dripping down their faces.  But, before the three could celebrate their victory, Kamui collapsed to the ground.

"Chief!"  Abuto yelled.  No Man rushed to catch his head from smacking against the ground.

"Are you alright dog?  We need to get you some help Chief."  No Man said, resting Kamui in his lap.  Kamui managed to extend his hand out to Abuto.

"Chief..."  tears began to form in Abuto's eyes.

 

 

TBC

 

 

Billy Arc Epilogue: Written by: Cha, Date: October 14th, 2017

 

 

 

 

"I-I-I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID IT.....I-I CAN'T BELIEVE IT..." Shinji sobbed and whined loudly.

He was covered from head to toe in thick black oil. Because of the situation with Billy, pretty much all the citizens including the medical staff had been evacuated. He spent 12 hours with his mother's painful labor, delivering a giant robot baby from her body. He was alone and ill prepared.

"Grrrrgaaaah." His mother said softly holding her newborn uh robot/alien/human hybrid.

"Hello Shinji-kun." He looked up and to see:

"-Ayanami-chan?!" Shinji spoke surprised. Behind her was Asuka, her classmates, even some people from Nerv! 

"We heard about what was happening downtown and came to congratulate you once it was over with. A giant robot gave birth? Wow, how cool!" Kensuke said taking out his camera to record the special moment.

"Are you too very confused over what is happeni-" Misato leaned in to Ritsuko.

"Yep." She said without a beat skipped.

"Come on family! Time for a picture!" The Class Rep said with a camera. Swampy and oily Shinji stood behind to his mother and baby cyborg alien/human brother. 

They all leaned in the photo but a man came in and stood behind his son.

"Father?"

"Good job on delivering the baby by yourself, Shinji." Gendo complimented with a straight face as usual and actually put a hand on his son's shoulder. Shinji smiled.

Right before they snapped it, three fine alien guardians/dads entered the hospital room door.

"Sorry we're late." Abuto said.

"My alien guardians?!" Shinji said surprised. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcORQWzYv2E

 

Chief kinda has an unhealthy addiction now and he made us stop at like ten 7/11s just to get his fix." Bunny added and smiled seeing Shinji.

"SLURPEE! SLURPEE! SLURP! SLURP! SLURPEE!! ISN'T LIFE GREAT?!?!" Kamui gulped down two cups of the stuff at once.

"He's scaring me, dog." No Man said.

"Smile!" The rep said and took it.

 

 

"Ew. Shinji clean up your mess." Gendo wiped the oily grime on No Man's green suit when he wasn't looking.

"Disgusting." Asuka pointed to Shinji in the picture as she held it for everyone to view. 

--

Hours later, pretty much everyone in the city was invited to attend a night celebration party in honor of the alien dudes themselves. People laid on blankets and enjoyed food as the screen turns to the main crew.

"::dolphin noise:: all these slurpees for us! This is awesome dogs!" No Man said drinking up one.

"I KNOW ISN'T IT GREAT! GREAT! GREAT! AND ALL BECAUSE OF FAN MAIL THANKING US FOR OUR GOOD DEED! WE DID A GOOD THING FOR ONCE BOYS!" Kamui chugged twenty at once at super high speed and then went in for another ten. "::dolphin noise:: YOUR ROTTING CORPSE BILLY! HAAAAA!" He crushed the empty solo cups against his head and tossed them way high in the sky, never to be seen again. But only to be hit on Shin's leg casts 30 minutes later. 

"The superhero work, do you think you could get use to this, Kamui?" Abuto joked while Kamui guzzled down another cooler of the red stuff down in milliseconds.

"You know big man, we never did get your Diet Coke." No Man smiled.

"Nah it's okay, apparently I'm highly allergic to carbonation." Abuto said and the other two started chuckling. "No.. actually I'm serious.."

Kamui dizzily came up behind them on the blanket and fell on their laps with a thud.

"Er, Abuto, No Man.... I think I'm getting tired of Slurpees now." Chub Kamui spoke crashing from his super sugar high. They smacked their boss's shoulders out of frustration. 

"You know I think I could get use to that." Abuto mocked and then they all starting laughing.

------

 

The dad touch trio watched as the alien dads were doing their secret handshake and just having a good time. Their souls died a bit more with each laugh and screen time the hunk extraterrestrials got.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iz-NkDzd5hI

 

"We got screen time after all..." Umibozu started.

"And were the ones who helped save the day...." Ozu added.

"But in the end... they still got the big fight finale while we stood there watching, miserably bound by the author's wishes.." Gintoki finished the statement. 

 

 

THIS ISN't OVER WITH YATO SCUM!!" Ozu yelled getting flamed up. 

"B-but I'm a yato." Umibozu spoke up.

"What's good punks." Kiyoko walked up.

"Oh hello Mrs. Yukimara." Umibozu politely said.

"Get lost." Ozu added. 

"Oh speaking about grown men getting all pissy over a court case." She handed him a document. 

"You're actually dropping the lawsuit against me?" Ozu said shocked. 

"Yeah dude I mean you did help save the world.  I saw it on the news, it was pretty cool and I did get to stay home and nuke popcorn with our kids." She said.

"Giving up on the challenge eh? Can't trust a mangaka to do a tv producer's job." He shook his head while looking at the papers.

"Nah dude, if this was an actual lawsuit over something you did to my business (as usual) I'd crush you like the little silver hair cockroach you are like always." She sternly added and jokingly punched him in the arm a little. Ozu rolled his eyes again.

"Prin- Prin Princes- Ki-Ki-Ki-yo..." Gintoki finally managed to choke out. What a lonely guy, what a loser, what a freak, what a- "GET THE POINT."

"Uh, I'm just gonna walk over here then." Kiyoko said backing away from the crazy man.

"No wait! It was the author ::dolphin noise:: talking me! Ya know! I make the 4th wall jokes! I love the sweets! Lazy samurai! Silly Ol' Gin, Heh! DONTLEAVEMEIMNOTCRAZY!" He chased after her.

Brozu popped up behind his brother and Umibozu, much to Ozu's detesting.

"Come on lil' bro bro and baldy! Let's pop a cold one!"  He gave them drinks.

While Kamui was throwing up the slurp, No Man glanced behind him to see his former boss giving a thumbs up. No Man tearfully smiled and gave one back.

"Thank you, old dog." 

--

So Hijikata-san, you think we'll have a bigger role in the next story?" Sougo said blank faced. He leaned against a tree as the fireworks started to go off.

"Oi, doesn't really matter. It's just a non-canonical fanfic anyways. Has no meaning or concrete foundation to its words." Hijikata said lighting up a cig.

"Shame. Well I think I'm gonna go for a walk-"

"Too late Sougo, the government already confiscated the Spear of Longinus hours ago." The green hair man took a puff.

"::dolphin noise::. Leave it to a Jimmy and a Blue Haired Giant for a simple task." Sougo said and then tripped Hijikata when the commander was leaving. Hijikata looked at him a bit annoyed but continued on walking. "Oops."

---

Guano and Yes Man sat on a blanket together, waiting for the rest of the Lilymu crew to arrive to the celebration.

"I can't believe Mama forced me to stay home in the face of Tokyo's crisis.." Guamo said. "I-I know it was a god! But I have a duty towards the citizens!"

"I know, what a nerd. Having Mom hold back your inner manchild rage. You should turn in your super hero cape." Coolest said and took a sip of his red solo cup.

Before the Guano could scowl his older brother, he got a tap on the shoulder. But when he turned around no one was there. There was only a note attached to an item with a cloth covering it.

Dear Guano-dono,

Sorry we could not meet today after all as I had to take care of some last minute business. But I wanted to give you something that you were probably looking for. Take care of yourself and your mother.

Sincerely, 

J er.. Your Father's Friend

He ripped off the cloth.

"JAZZY! YOU'RE BACK!" Guano said over delighted, tightly hugging the bowl with the seemingly innocent Jade Tiger Fish. Yes Man joined in the embrace.

--

-3 hours ago-

Jazzy returned to heaven for the last time. He stood next to his holy brother, Suave in a moment of silence. They bowed to their brother   RALRO's empty grave and then turned to Billy's casket.

"It's time." Jazzy placed a hand on Suave's shoulder and he nodded. They wished up a giant coffee cup and used their God powers to lift up the casket inside of it, a fitting death to the brew enthusiast. 

"We'll never forget about you brother." Jazzy said.

"As much as we try." Suave added. 

He pulled out his famous instrument, playing it in a somber key.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlaaBBxy22U

 

They dunked the casket inside like a dunkins doughnut. Burning up the body of the once great god Billy instantly.

--

"So where we goin' for our next adventure Chief?" Abuto smirked.

"Yeah what's next, dog?" No Man asked excitedly.

"Well hm, I'm kinda tired of this rotting blue marble and feeling kinda homesick ya know? I say we go to the ol' home planet itself! He tried to grab another Slurp but No Man grabbed it from him, not wanting to repeat earlier.

"Vacation time, at last." Abuto said. He put his arms over his head in ease and laid on the soft blanket.

"As in THAT planet..? As in the planet that people would probably shun and disown me at?" No Man's sunglasses fell down his nose at these bone chilling thoughts.

"Yup! That Planet!" Kamui smiled.

"Oh come on, I'm sure it won't be that bad.." Abuto said with a forced grin to a staring, watery eye No Man. "Yup.... welp I'm gonna go get some Lays." He got up and left them alone.

"Yeah Ossan's right, ha-" Kamui tried to add.

"Dude enough! That Halfy joke has been done to death now!" No Man protested. 

"What? I was just gonna say 'ha! Rookie.'. ::dolphin noise::, short temper AND short dick. You're the real living combo, you know that?" China said sarcastically with his world famous grin.

Straight faced Abuto came back with the chips, sat between them as No Man tried to scuffled their Chief up a bit. He just sighed but then looked happily at the colorful flashing fireworks above them. Everything was gonna be alright for now.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GuEBCayINY

 

To Be Continued, one day, Space Yato...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 28, 2017 by Pirate Pablo♥

[Cha]

1.0 is truly the beginning of something and humor nostalgic, 2.0 is great for expanding on it and Billy arc is the icing on the cake and the best ?? (Of course the ongoing Halloween arc in the ask threads is baller too)