Old Man Jenkins

Episode 7: Mutually Assured Destruction The Green Gills have successfully taken Kepanilā prisoner, having since transported him to their base camp in the Sulu Sea, southwest of the Philippines. They place him in a cage made entirely of adamantine metal, a rare metal that has not been used since being officially retired from use by the Undersea Defense Force. Sgt. Roderick reprimands Kepanilā for his litany of war crimes and countless acts of terror against both the denizens of the water and surface. He calls Kepanilā “the progenitor of their species’ soiled reputation” and says that he’ll enjoy seeing the evil shark finally get torn to pieces after all these years. Kepanilā merely continues to proclaim that he’s the species’ great liberator. He reminds the Green Gills that sharks have existed on this earth far longer than most, yet they’re the ones constantly at risk of extinction, they’re the ones constantly treated like scum of the earth both by land and sea alike. Their very existence keeps the whole world in balance, but they’re constantly ostracized for doing what nature demands of them. He also reminds them that most man eaters agreed to the compromise that ultimately ended the Great Shark War because tolls were heavy on both sides. Kepanilā reveals that he lost his own brother to the tides of war. To swear off humans was one thing, but now everyone in the seven seas expects sharks to stand down from preying on their primary food source. Kepanilā puts over the danger these underwater sanctuary cities pose to their ecosystem. If sharks don’t regulate and maintain the fish population, coral reefs will die, seagrass will be stripped clean from the seafloor and the ocean will suffer the consequences. And an unhealthy ocean spells disaster for the world at large. Roderick puts over how the existence of these underwater cities already address those issues, but Kepanilā doesn’t buy it. He sees the establishment of these cities as fish taking up the bad habits of humans, who have only done more harm to the world than good. Roderick says that The Green Gills have an understanding with humans that goes back centuries. Kepanilā agrees that they may have had an understanding at one point in time, but that isn’t the case anymore. The world isn’t the same as it was when the great green shark, Omao, first revealed himself to the surface world and offered man his services. Kepanilā admits that he and his fellow man eaters broke that bond when the first human was devoured, but sharks have died defending man in the years since and still they hunt not just sharks, but all ocean life, indiscriminately and without prejudice. If fish are to continue adopting man’s ways, it’ll without a doubt be mutually assured destruction across the board. Roderick comments on how Kepanilā survived The Great Dying and how life on earth eventually bounced back from that. Kepanilā retorts, “just barely”. Kepanilā then questions him as to why he went back to serving the Gills when he “seemed to have his life all set in the BIG CITY”. He hypothesizes that perhaps something went wrong during the sergeant’s brief stay in Bikini Bottom. Roderick refuses to say anything further, leaving the enemy to toil away in his confinement. Rowley, having listened in on their conversation, later piggybacks on the question and asks the sergeant himself. Roderick concedes that he wasn’t made for “civilized life”. He tried playing by their rules, but their rules ended up turning on him. His whole experience in Bikini Bottom is why he’s sworn off using boatmobiles forever. Just then, they receive news from HQ that a shark attack is taking place in Bikini Bottom as they speak. Rowley goes to rally the others, but Roderick makes the decision to handle the situation by himself since Kepanilā still needs to be heavily guarded until they can finish transporting him to HQ. Rowley is unsure about that as the situation in Bikini Bottom could prove to be more dangerous than anticipated, but Roderick is set on going it alone. He only asks that Rowley tell his wife that he loves her should the sergeant not make it back in one piece. In Bikini Bottom, Manny has already launched his assault on Glove World, attacking both park patrons and workers alike to draw out Hieronymus Glove. Some of his former co-workers recognize him, but not even whatever relationship they might’ve had can save them from his jaws. The water surrounding the park reddens ever so gradually as Manny continues to pick everybody apart. Park security finally arrive on the scene, but they find themselves very ill prepared when faced with a rogue shark. Manny catches the scent of Glove on the security officers and interrogates them on Glove’s whereabouts. One of the security points him in the direction below Glove World itself. Manny finishes the security off before diving deeper into the recesses of the park. The path takes Manny down many underground tunnels and passageways, going far deeper than he imagined. He was aware of the jail that was put in place for unruly park goers, but never did he think that such a vast facility was lying right under all their noses. It all appeared to be a factory of some sort, where the main product being manufactured was none other than shark fins. Manny could see rows of his fellow finned lemon sharks piled up along the factory’s floor, all waiting to be disposed of. Most were already dead, some were still trying to cling to life, but the loss of their fins made it impossible for them to move. Remy and the other remoras’ eyes water as they see what has truly become of their comrades. Not wasting another moment, Manny launches himself at the first finner he sees. The other finners are immediately alerted to his presence by the commotion and take up arms to combat the rogue in their midsts. Gun fire rains down throughout the facility in a desperate attempt to gun Manny down, who tanks some of the shots as he makes his approach. He quickly picks apart the finners one by one until he’s suddenly intercepted by Hieronymus Glove himself, who surprises Manny from below and chomps down on his caudal fin. Glove thrashes about, tearing away at Manny’s legs before slamming him onto the ground next to the bodies of his fellow Arava Cove dwellers. Glove compliments on how far Manny’s killer instincts have brought him, but that his own instincts are even sharper. Glove was banking on Manny just curling up into a ball and dying, but this outcome truly makes for far more compelling television. He comments on how Darnell probably already has a narrative to spin this in mind. Manny wants to know why Glove chose to target him and his family. Glove’s original intentions were to show how vulnerable and weak sharks have become in order to drum up sympathy support that could paint his company in a much better light. Manny realizes that the Glove Company has made a majority of its fortune literally off the backs of thousands, possibly even millions, of sharks. Glove tells him that shark fins are a very hot commodity, always has been. But the practice has become increasingly taboo with new laws and orders being put in place to protect sharks. So he set up the Glove World enterprise as a front in order to hide the company’s seedy underbelly. He even had the great idea for the mascot of this venture to be one of the very last things that sharks see before having everything taken from them. Manny looks around to see all the finners wearing the very same gloves that have become symbolic with Glove World. Glove claims that he has adapted the most to the ever-changing world around. He’s evolved to the point that he’s become the apex predator of the apex predators and a loving, protecting figure to all who has ever been touched by the warmth of Glove. And hey, maybe when it’s all said done, he could be the last shark left in the ocean. As he rightfully should be. Glove does admit that his latest MegaloMania media venture is mainly for surface world eyes only. Surface dwellers nowadays have some sorta self-righteous mission to protect those that cannot be saved. Extinction events have happened time and time again, they’re only struggling against the inevitable. Ocean dwellers, on the other hands, could care less what happens to sharks. It’s why Glove’s been in business for so long. Having heard enough, Remy dislodges from Manny and lunges at Glove by himself. He gets a nip in before Glove grips him tightly in his gloved hand. Glove admonishes Remy for this pitiful display. He poses that remoras don’t care about sharks. The moment sharks are gone and dusted, they’ll just move on to the next big thing like the leeches they truly are. It’s the only reason why they would ever settle on Manny. Glove proceeds to devour Remy before everyone’s eyes. Some of the surviving remora go to work, cleaning the wounds on Manny’s legs, fixing it up to the point that he could attack again. Manny chomps down on Glove’s torso and raises him up above the factory floor, swimming around and shaking his head violently about to worsen the damage being done. Glove powers through the pain and reaches down, biting Manny by the dorsal fin. The pain of the blow allows him to lift Manny off of him and reverse the pressure back onto him. Manny and Glove wrestle for control of each other. The surrounding personnel can’t get any clear shots in, but one of them takes the chance anyway, piercing their own boss in the process. Glove tailwhips Manny off him and attacks the shooter, devouring him on the spot. Manny uses this distraction to go after Glove’s own dorsal fin. He raise glove back up into the air before slamming him back down on the floor with a German suplex. Manny charges his mana and tries going in for the quick kill, but Glove charges up his own, the shockwave being enough to send Manny back from the sheer force. Whereas Manny’s is a lemony yellow, Glove’s is blood red, symbolic of all the lives he’s ruined to get himself where he’s at now. With Manny now a good distance away, the finners open fire on the lemon shark. Manny does his best to shield himself, with some of his remora even taking hits for him. Glove reiterates that Manny will end up like all the others who had the gall to oppose him: gnashed between his teeth! However, some of the firing squad is taken down in one fell swoop. They each slump down, revealing a sharp tooth lodged into each of their skulls. The remaining finners are then each disemboweled in a green flash. Sgt. Roderick emerges through the blood and gore, slurping some of their intestines into his mouth like spaghetti noodles while holding a shark tooth blade in each fin. Glove grabs hold of one of the discarded assault rifles and channels some of his mana into it before letting loose on Roderick, who manages to defect most of the oncoming fire with his improvised blades. Once Glove runs empty, Roderick quickly lunges in and slashes the rifle in half with his own green mana-infused blades and digs them deep into both sides of Glove’s gills. Glove grabs both of Roderick’s arms and twists them back, holding Roderick in place and unable to use his blades as Glove takes a bite out of Roderick’s own neck. Roderick tries kneeing him in the torso but to no avail. His suffering is only alleviated when Manny comes back in with a stiff knee strike right on Glove’s nose. This disorients Glove enough for Manny to chomp down on his right arm and twist it right off. As Manny prolongs Glove’s suffering by targeting the rest of his fins/limbs, some of Manny’s remoras have lodged themselves onto Roderick and they proceed to clean up his wounds. Roderick comments to himself how it’s been a while since he had one of them. Manny once again chomps down on Glove’s dorsal fin. Glove charges his mana up again in an attempt to force Manny off, but Roderick comes back in and impales both of Glove’s eyes with his blades, allowing Manny to rip Glove’s dorsal fin clean off. Manny swallows down the fin. Then, he proceeds to devour gobble down the rest of Glove’s body. Glove desperately struggles to wiggle out, but his lack of fins make escape impossible. Manny chomps at him until only his head remains, which Manny callously drops on the floor before spitting on it. Manny takes a moment to take in all that just happened before focusing his attention toward Sgt. Roderick, who is already staring daggers at him. Roderick levels with Manny, saying that bonding with his remoras just now told him all he needed to know about him. Roderick understands why he did what he did here, but it sure doesn’t make everything that he did getting here right. He knows Manny was the one who attacked the shark sanctuary in Palau. He knows he was in the swamps as an accomplice to Kepanilā. And he knows all about the civilians he preyed on both in Bandeau and at Glove World. Taking all of that into account, Manny is well past the point of going rogue and is now a major threat that must be neutralized immediately. Manny remembers the promise he made to continue living for his family. Roderick reminds Manny that even his family didn’t want this. Manny notices some of the remoras that were once his now latched onto Roderick. It’s telling of his chances at survival. Manny laments that “we can never win.” Roderick retorts that “some of us still can.” Manny responds by saying that “the rest of us will just have to adapt”. Manny charges up with the remaining remoras he has left and charges towards Roderick, who also charges his mana up. Manny goes right for the head, while Roderick goes low for the torso. Blood gushes forth and engulfs the two. Flashes of yellow and green emanate from the cloud of blood for a few brief seconds. After a few moments, Manny shuffles out of the cloud. He crumbles to the floor, revealing a large chunk of his body missing. The blood cloud slowly clears to show Roderick swallowing said chunk down. Roderick kneels down next to Manny, “sorry, brother.” Manny attempts to crawl away, clinging on for as long as he can before finally going limp in a pool of his own blood. The remaining remoras leave Manny while Roderick strips off the ones still on him. As Roderick makes his way back up to the park, his senses start going on the fritz. Something nearby really wants his attention. He briefs the authorities on the situation once he’s back topside. Officers head down below to survey the scene for themselves. Glove World executives collect Hieronymous’ head before bribing the police chief. Manny’s body is taken by Gillbert Hammerstein, who wants his “top men” at ElasmoBranch to study it, just like with Greg’s body before him. These closing events became a smash hit for MegaloMania, with The Graphic Nature Channel giving Darnell the green light to move forward with MegaloMania 2. Roderick calls in to base camp, updating them on the situation at Bikini Bottom. Rowley is relieved to hear that the sergeant is still with them. They’ll be ready to finish transporting Kepanilā when he returns. Roderick’s instincts go off again, drawing him to the presence of a familiar yellow sea sponge who was out enjoying his day at Glove World with his best friend before disaster struck. Roderick’s better judgement tells him to move on, but his instincts refuse to budge. In a post-credits scene, Manny’s remoras are seen scattering all across Bikini Bottom. One of them finds a new host in the form of Harold, who is having another spat with Mr. Krabs at the Krusty Krab. It nestles itself in on him, unseen, as Krabs leaves to go into his office. Harold feels something come over him, commenting on just how “big and meaty” Krabs’ claws look. Not content with his current meal, Harold sets his Krabby Patty aside before approaching Krabs’ office door. Notes The first appearances of Harold, SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Mr. Krabs and Al Priss. The most character cameos from the main series yet The events of “Mrs. Puff, You’re Fired” are finally alluded to Trivia Sgt. Roderick’s request for Rowley to “tell my wife that I love her” is a callback to him saying the very same line in “Mrs. Puff, You’re Fired” Harold is a dogfish, a much smaller species of shark Phew, finally got that done. Sorry it took a lot longer than it really should’ve. At least I managed to wrap it before a full calendar year passed. I ran into some major blockage after the Swamp Bros episode. I had a set roadmap at that point, but the vision for it changed multiple times to the point where I was just stumped for a while. I know that’s pretty sad for something that leans more towards the tv.com style of spin-off but it is what it is. I said in an announcement thread update a couple months back that MegaloMania 2 probably won’t happen this year, and that probably will still be the case going forward. I kinda just wanna focus more on SpongeBrawl through the rest of this year and see if I can make a go of that, y’know. See ya here next year I guess.

I’m aight. Just woke up and all dat.

Heyo

It’s all good! I’m pretty sure I completely forgot to wish you a happy birfday too, so, happy 3 month late belated birthday! Sorry I had to wait a couple days to actually celebrate it cuz it was on a hump day this year. So that left me with a lot of time to reflect on 30 years and that shit bummed me out so I went to rewatch the Super Mario Bros. movie later that night and I think I only ever told jjs this but my grandma passed away last year on May 5th, so she was just making her first year and that whole thing is still fresh in my mind in general. But I got some bomb ass food at Tanioka’s too tho. It’s the only time of the year I eat from that place lol. The day that I actually celebrated was pretty good. Watched Guardians Vol. 3 with a couple friends and just cruised around Pearlridge majority of the time. My original plan to end off the night with karaoke got put on the back burner, so good thing I didn’t reserve a spot ahead of time. And that was pretty much it for this year’s.

Watched the live-action Little Mermaid last night, and I watched the animated original the day before just to have it clearer in my mind going into this. I thought it was definitely one of the better live action remakes. Like, I’d put it right under the live action Jungle Book on the Disney live action remake totem pole, which puts it above the others I’ve seen like Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Mulan and Aladdin. The cast did great (tho was honestly underwhelmed by Javier Bardem as Triton. Like animated Triton legit scares at points but other than that, Javier gets the job done for the other aspects of Triton’s character). The added content was welcomed additions in my book, and nice little additions to the Little Mermaid lore that borrows more from mythology. I’m a sucker for that shit. But that Scuttle song/rap was really fuckin extra tho, especially after seeing that with the original version still fresh in my mind lol and maybe the Eric song too. Idk that song just gave me vibes of the Beast’s solo song in live action Beauty and Beast, and I thought that one was completely unnecessary. Like even the instrumental arrangement of it sounded a lot like the Beast song at points for me. It just seemed very recycled to my ears. The romantic aspect was a huge improvement over the original. Their chemistry gelled a lot better which added more weight to their inevitable team up against Ursula at the end. For an adaptation that adds a whole extra hour onto the original’s runtime, I really kinda didn’t feel it on first watch. There’s definitely added stuff but it went pretty much the same pace as the original did for me. Which is weird, but a good thing in my book since it means I wasn’t really bored watching it. Like, I noticed and felt that longer runtime when watching Aladdin, Lion King and Beauty and the Beast. I hope Disney’s future live action endeavors end up more like this one. Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse, fuckin cherry mang. The Boogeyman: pretty good for a pg-13 horror, especially one with some actual good built up scares.

I gotta say John Leary from Jack the Bear.

Sorry I took so damn long, I really am getting old! Sheet Holy crap dude, I didn’t even think to check if they did a playthrough of this train wreck. Better late than never! Nova’s character creation skills are still on point as ever. How’s their original Saints Row vids already over a damn decade old The Resident Evil games are always my go-to, probably my fave horror series overall. There’s also stuff like Silent Hill (tho my history with this series isn’t as tenured as with RE), Left 4 Dead, The Evil Within, Outlast (really tense series), Alan Wake, Alien Isolation, and Until Dawn (and the other Until Dawn adjacent games made by the same developers). I’ve been playing a lot of Dead By Daylight since October when I got my friend group into it. That shit always makes for a good time. I’m sure I’m missing more, but that’s all that’s coming to my mind right now. Dead Space, BioShock, Little Nightmares and Phasmophobia are games I’ve been meaning to get to, but I heard mostly good things about. hope the ol’ stupid dog turned out as great for you as it did for me. Love dat show. Im touched it made you think of lil ol’ me lol (insert “I’ll have to remember that when I’m kicking your butt” Flats joke)

It’s nice they haven’t forgotten about mah boi, Craig.

SABOOM REST IN POWER, SHIEKY BABY! FUCK HULK HOGAN

Happy belated 10th anniversary to the debut of the genesis of the book of the storybook career of Curtis Axel! May the 2015 Royal Rumble continue to live on with your presence

Fast X, a nice step up from the stank of F9.

Episode 6: Miseria Cantare We open up to Manny’s instincts leading him to his family’s home before moving to Bikini Bottom, Arava Cove, a stretch of open ocean where sharks could live in relative peace away from the hustle and bustle of the more modern and civilized communities. These Shark colonies operate by their own sets of rules, free from any outside authority or government that are becoming increasingly commonplace among those lower on the food chain. To his surprise, Arava Cove was seemingly abandoned. Grottos appear ransacked or caved in entirely, trails of blood line the sand. The blood didn’t appear to be from any fresh kill, either. Something happened here, and Manny wanted to get to the bottom of it. Manny catches a whiff of a very familiar smell in the cove’s water. The lemon sharks that reside here usually don’t go around picking fights when any threat bigger than themselves enters the territory, and the sheer number of the lemons almost always dissuades potential threats from making any hostile movements. Manny theorizes to himself that what happened to him and his family must’ve also happened here, though this attack was on a much larger scale. An entire colony of sharks, seemingly wiped away like nothing. Manny had no room in his heart to spare on mourning this place. The reasons for his departure from the cove are still fresh in his memory. He heads off in the direction of that familiar smell, hoping to get some more intel from it. Manny’s investigation leads him to a small school of remora hiding out in the remains of the Arava chief’s grotto. The startled remoras initially mistake Manny as another intruder, but are relieved to see that at least one of the sharks managed to escape the bloodshed. Manny informs them that isn’t with the settlement, and hasn’t been for a long while now. While the remora are surprised to see him, he’s just perplexed to see them in the settlement at all. Lemon sharks don’t typically view remora as fondly as other sharks of their ilk tend to do. To lemons, remora are no more than pests and more likely to be killed and devoured rather than bonded with. One of the remora introduces themselves as Remy and informs Manny that the denizens of Arava Cove had to adapt more than ever in order to survive in recent times. The cove’s numbers had dwindled since Manny probably last stepped foot in it. Between the number of departures and the rising number of hunters in the area, the lemon shark population is in pretty dire straits. Manny is intrigued to know that more sharks apparently left in the wake of his own departure. See this as his chance to gather any information he can get, he questions the remora about what exactly took place here. Remy recalls how a few weeks back, the cove’s Chief and his hunting party returned home from a feeding frenzy alongside a potential new mate. The Chief’s previous mate had been hunted down while pregnant with his pups. He brought the new arrival back to the cove in order to have something of a fresh start. The chief’s personal remora voiced their concern the loudest, sensing something was amiss with this female shark after other remora reported strange behavior being displayed while bonded with her, but the chief’s decision was final. When the time came to consummate the mating season, the hunters took it as an opportunity to lay siege to the cove. The Chief was killed in his own grotto and more bloodshed quickly followed. Some were tortured and mutilated on the spot, others were battered and netted up to the surface. Some remoras chose to stay with their hosts til the bloody end, others had no choice but to flee. When it was all said and done, this school of remoras were all that was left of the settlement. Manny admonishes the chief for following his emotions instead of his instincts, but Remy replies that replenishing the lemon shark numbers was what his instincts told him. The remoras have come to know the stench of battle all too well in the immediate aftermath. They could sense the very same stench radiating off of Manny. Because of this, they question him on the circumstances surrounding his mysterious return. Manny refuses to divulge anything, feeling his situation to be eerily similar to what had happened. His own decisions had led him to ruin, much like how things turned out for the lemon chief. Suddenly, Manny picked back up on a similar scent coming from beyond the cove’s borders. The stench of death is still fresh on this particular source, so Manny immediately heads out to further investigate, leaving the remoras behind. His search takes him to the outskirts of the nearby reef city, Bandeau, which happens to lie in nurse shark territory. Here, fish of all creeds enjoy off-roading in the sand dunes. A shiver of nurse sharks operates a clinic in the event of any medical emergencies in the dunes. However, unbeknownst to the general public, the clinic also serves as a front for nurse sharks to feed indiscriminately. Inside, a trio of nurse sharks are currently feeding on a couple of children whose parents brought them in to treat some bad scrapes from a dirt bike mishap. When the nurse sharks conclude their lunch they instruct a fourth nurse to inform the parents that they can see their kids now. As the fourth nurse goes to do that, another injured fish stumbles into the clinic, blood pouring from a very open wound. The parents are startled at the sight as Manny enters the clinic right behind them. He attacks the two, gobbling as much of them up and leaving behind slight remnants of blood and some scraps.. The commotion draws the attention of the other three nurses, who storm out in a hurry. They’re pissed to see a lemon shark intrude on “their turf”, but Manny tells them that he isn’t here to incite a turf war. He’s only here for answers, and he thinks the fourth nurse shark can provide him with that. The other three nurse sharks charge at him in defense of their colleague, but Manny throws the injured fish’s body at them to break up their formation. Manny implores them to partake in their last meal. The three nurses oblige and tear the injured fish apart, devouring each respective section of his body. Manny brawls with the nurses all throughout their makeshift office, but the numbers game slowly gets to him. They ultimately back him into a corner of the waiting room, take chomps out of him as he tries blocking their advances. Suddenly, his right fin seems to take on a life of its own as it absolutely potatoes one of the nurse’s right on their nose before proceeding to gouge another nurse’s eye out. Manny then takes the opportunity to take a big bite out of the third’s body. With the three nurses reeling in pain, Manny takes a closer look at his arm to see that Remy had himself firmly placed underneath it without Manny even knowing. Manny angrily demands to know what it’s doing, to which Remy replies that he’s helping “save your skin”. Remy informs Manny that remoras are good for more than just reaping the leeching off of their hosts. They can help their hosts become stronger, more effective. Lemon sharks remained ignorantly blind to that fact for years until the Arava Chief finally saw the use in having them around. Now it’s for Manny to experience the same benefits. The three nurse sharks take note of this development and remove their nurse's scrubs to reveal their very own remoras attached to them. Upon seeing this, Remy remarks that this might’ve gotten tougher. The nurses start channeling on their mana, which also extends to their remoras. This further widens the gap between their power and Manny’s, who is still clueless as to how to control his own mana to such a degree. Remy comments that Manny “sure did a number domesticating himself”. Remy takes some time to sync his own mana with Manny’s. This process allows him a clearer look into Manny’s soul, while also giving Manny a clearer window into his. Remy is finally able to see all the atrocities that Manny has been through while Manny finds out that Remy himself was the Arava Chief’s personal remora. Manny is also able to see Remy’s final memory of the Arava Chief, who in his last act, imparted some of his mana into Remy and instructed him to find a suitable host and spread word of what had happened to them to other shark colonies. Manny snaps back to reality to find that he’s been putting up a much better fight against the nurses than he was previously. Remy informs him that that’s just “instincts really taking over”. Manny grabs one of the nurses and chows them down. And then doing the same to the other two in short order. The last nurse could scream in agony before being chugged through the serrated teeth and down Manny’s gullet. Manny could feel his mana growing exponentially from this latest victory. The nurse sharks’ remoras hastily retreat to the body of the fourth nurse, who applauds Manny for somehow surviving this long, but that it won’t be long before he ends up like all the others of his species. An electric current surges through the fourth nurse, pretty much tasering the remoras that have suckered themselves into her. Remy comments that that wasn’t mana she was using. This confirms Manny’s lingering suspicions that this “shark” isn’t what she passes herself off as. The “nurse” removes her own scrubs to reveal that her body is a cage-looking vessel with two hired Glove hands operating it. Manny angrily questions how nobody in Arava Cove had stronger suspicions of this thing, Remy replies that it was “really convincing” and that they all thought the two operators were just people “she devoured recently”. The mechanized menace commences its attack, snapping at Manny with its motorized chompers. Manny manages to break away and put distance between himself and it, but the mechanical vessel fires off a harpoon that pierces his stomach, and with the rope attached to it, it begins reeling Manny back towards its motormouth. Manny struggles to pull himself away, but one of the operators inside pulls out a gun and fires off pot shots, hitting Manny multiple times, in hopes that it weakens him even further. Remy tries his hardest to also pull back and keep Manny in place, but also gets overwhelmed by the strain. The other nurses’ remoras come to and realizes what’s going on. They quickly surround Manny and sucker themselves onto his body alongside Remy. Together, Remy and the other remoras go to work cleaning up Manny and letting their collective mana flow into his own. Their combined strength stops Manny from being drawn in closer to the mechanical man powered vessel, effectively putting them all at a stalemate until Manny snaps the rope that the harpoon is attached to with his teeth. Now freed, Manny’s aura bursts forth from his body, creating a bluish-green light show for all the fish participating in the sand dunes. Manny charges forth, letting his mana propel him faster, and snaps at the mechanical vessel’s cage-like body. The metal bars bend and break away, giving the operators little choice but to flee the vessel. Manny thrashes about tearing the vessel to shreds as the operators frantically swim away with their guns. Once they reach a safe enough distance, they turn around to aim and fire, but is already out of sight. One of them is suddenly impaled through the head by the very same harpoon they had used on Manny, who quickly maneuvers around the line of fire of the other operator, who misses each of his shots. Manny then finishes him off by also impaling him through the head with the very same harpoon. Manny then proceeds to devour them both like a shish kabob. The nurse shark remoras part ways with Manny, who lets them go scot free for providing him the much needed assist. The remoras promise to let the other nurse sharks in Bandeau know of what happened regarding the hunters’ spy vessel, but they can’t guarantee that the nurses won’t retaliate for Manny’s own part in the incident. Manny assures them that he’ll be ready to cross that bridge when he gets to it. On the way out of Bandeau, Manny and Remy share a heart to heart about their recent tragedies. How they both lost those they cared for in the blink of an eye. How they both had to emotionally detach themselves in order to survive for as long as they have. Manny’s journey to seek out retribution has been missing a pretty vital piece of the puzzle, but his shared experience in Bandeau might have finally gifted him with said piece. Remy offers up his services to Manny since the road ahead seems more perilous than ever. The hunters are also capable of evolving and adapting. It’s time to show them just who the original innovators of that shit are. Before they embark towards their final destination, Remy reminds Manny that there are “more vengeful souls just like them”. Manny is still uncomfortable about the concept of revenge and how it’s a complex emotion that’s beyond the shark species. Remy remarks that perhaps now marks a pivotal moment where sharks finally start evolving beyond their modern conventions. They head back to Arava Cove and recruit all the remaining remoras there who want to stand and fight back against their aggressors. Manny promises to provide them all protection for as long as he’s able, just as long they all work to make sure that he’s capable of fighting for as long as he’s able. Manny discards his prized red and yellow plaid pants that his wife had bought him, as well as his glasses. He no longer needs them to see the world so clearly. He places these items in his old grotto as a makeshift shrine to his family, his old life. The remora all surround him, converging onto Manny’s skin by sticking to him using their head suckers. Their mana all flow together in sync with Manny’s. Through this, Manny is able to experience the pain that they and their previous hosts had all gone through and vice versa. Manny could feel the power of the entire cove coursing through him as the remora all work to clean his wounds and mend his body. Once the bonding process was over, Manny felt good as new and better than ever. The remora became like a second skin, a sort of suit of armor that freely moved along to his own movements. Their mana flow creates a combined yellow color, embodying the entire populace of the cove’s former lemon residents. Manny knows just where to go, but he lets his instincts guide him anyway. He sets a mental course for the location of the final showdown; Glove World. However, he stops by the Bandeau sand dunes on the way there for a quick power snack. Picking apart the many powersports enthusiasts gathered there. Notes The first appearance of Remy, and the introduction of remoras species as a whole We get our first look at Manny’s original home, Arava Cove, which has been referenced and alluded to multiple times in previous episodes The first mention of Bandeau, an underwater city very similar to Bikini Bottom. The events of this episode take place right outside of Bandeau, the closest we get to it being the sand dunes located on the outskirts We are first introduced to nurse sharks, whose feral population operates primarily in and around Bandeau Whatever was left of the lemon shark population in Arava Cove is assumed to be completely wiped out The concept of mana gets further fleshed out in this episode. For sharks, mana is gained either through acts of violence or through sexual activity. Remoras are able to gain and utilize mana through their close working relationships with sharks. Through bonding and symbiosis, sharks and remoras are able to share their power and experiences with each other Trivia The episode’s title is a reference to “Miseria Cantare (The Beginning)” by AFI “Arava” is the Tahitian name for lemon sharks The character of Remy the Remora is a reference/slight homage to Remy from Ratatouille The name for the city “Bandeau” is based off of the bandeau garment used for bikini wear, much like Bikini Bottom Members of The Drasticals are seen among those in attendance for the Bandeau Powersports Competition at the very end of the episode Manny’s wardrobe is based on his depiction used for the Before picture seen in “MuscleBob BuffPants” One of the pictures in the nurse sharks’ office is of Nurse Leslie, a shark character from “Camp Lazlo” In real life, lemons are one of the very few species of sharks who have been observed acting aggressively to and even consuming remoras The mechanized shark-shaped submersible used by the Glove company is based off of the one used in Discovery’s “Mechashark” Shark Week documentary. The storyline revolving around the Mechashark’s infiltration of Arava Cove is also inspired in part by that documentary’s follow-up, “Mechashark: Love Down Under” The fully realized “final form” taken by Manny after fully bonding with the remoras is inspired by the Super Saiyan transformation from “Dragon Ball Z”. Minus the hair, of course

Last night, the Mainest Admin was decided, a storm came to pass, our Featured Employee defended his crown and a redemption arc finally came full circle! What could possibly be left for us here on Night 2? Find out tonight, on Community Deathmatch! Our first match of the evening gives us our first ever encounter between two of the Community’s finest content creators. For years, they’ve captivated members around the world with their well thought opinions on a variety of topics. Every single list they’ve made has all been canonically building up to this. Tonight, we’ll see who truly ranks above the other. Who will ascend the charts? Who will take the #1 spot? Who will be crowned SBC’s undisputed King of Lists!? Last night, terminoob turned jjs’ dream match into a nightmare, earning himself the right to be called Mainest Admin. Before termi could think about returning home with his prize, a new challenger appears hoping to succeed where jjs couldn’t. After years spent on the sidelines. After years of being beaten to death with the cameo shtick. JCM arrives in full to solve the riddle that is terminoob and to cement his legacy as a manager for this community. Will The Snark Knight rise to the occasion, or will he just be another noob that’s been termi’d? A break-in had occurred at the abandoned Deathmatch Arena in the years since the initial Deathmatch finale back in 2020. The only thing of value that was reported stolen was the old, retired Best Member championship belt. It remained missing ever since, until now. Resurfacing for the first time since 2019 (in DM years), Deathmatch’s very own answer to Paul Heyman, Tropical Nards appeared to OMJ with the belt in hand. Nards confesses that his newest client committed the deed to prove once and for all that he is “pound-for-pound SBC’s Bestest Member ever”. But with Deathmatch returning for one more run, Nards wished to issue an ultimatum on his client’s behalf; “Let’s finally give this belt a proper home. I’ll send out my top dog if you send out yours!” With Deathmatch’s tacked-on legacy at stake, OMJ scrambled to find a member worthy of such a (dis)honor. But unbeknownst to his oblivious ass, he might’ve just booked a Deathmatch that’s been a long time coming! Official Deathmatch correspondent with the dead, CF, uses the blood of an elastic dog to perform an ambiguous ritual that brings both jjs and OMJ back to life. Jjs questions her motives, to which CF replies that she’s “simply following orders”. OMJ reveals that he arranged for this to happen in the event that either of them didn’t survive Night 1. With the final Deathmatch upon us, OMJ thought it only made sense that it finally came down to them. The match multiple people were calling for back in 2013. Jjs points out that the two of them having just lost to termi and Hawkbit back-to-back kind of diminishes the value, but OMJ tells jjs that the stakes couldn’t be higher. OMJ proposes that if he loses, Community Deathmatch will forever remain a memory, no matter the occasion. Future anniversaries be damned. Jjs argues that they should be calling the final Deathmatch together but OMJ assures jjs that they’ll just call it as they go “just like all the greats”. Community Deathmatch needs to go out strong or not at all. Neither man wants the other to hold back. The result is ultimately for fate and WWE 2K22 to decide.

Jjs: 8 whole death matches spread out across two action-packed nights! It’s the beginning of the end, beautiful friends. We hope you join us as we say one our final goodbyes. Starting tonight, on Deathmatch Forever! Up first, is a deathmatch that Jjs had suggested that I do for years. After the clunker of a Deathmatch that I forced him into during the original series finale, The Greatest Deathmatch Ever, I’m gonna do right by him this time and finally give jjs what he wants! And that’s not all! To level up this dream match even higher, the winner shall be crowned SBC’s first-ever Mainest Admin! Our second featured Deathmatch of the evening rekindles the flames of an old rivalry from almost 10 years ago, which single-handedly got an entire discussion thread locked down that heated summer in 2013! Both of these competitors were previously featured on the show before, but never together, oddly enough. One of them never even competed in an actual Deathmatch, that is UNTIL NOW! The ghosts of Wrestling threads past has come back home to roost. Who will finally be the one to SUCK DICK? Our semi-main event for the evening features a competitor who recently celebrated an accomplishment and another who believes that such a reward shouldn’t be bestowed upon somebody who so clearly hate the very thing that this community is built on. For the first and last time ever, the title of Featured Employee will be put on the line! These risen stakes only begs the question… And for our main event here on Night 1 of Deathmatch Forever, we will finally see a years-long storyline to its proper conclusion. It is a storyline that encapsulated the entirety of Community Deathmatch Season 3 and pretty much had the show in a stranglehold. Battle lines were drawn and threats were thrown around as work turned into shoot and the entire community was sucked in to defend Deathmatch from forces that sought to shut it down forever. About half a decade or so has passed since the events of that neverending story arc, and from its ashes, a redemption story began to unfold before our very eyes. As the redeemer started to flourish, Deathmatch’s run began to wither and die. As the dark prince opened himself up to newfound allies, the king of death isolated himself on his island of irrelevancy. Accepted by all but one, the redeemer seeks to atone for past sins by daring to step foot on that island and re-entering the devil’s playground, the very place that gave him so much grief, in order to finish his story. But as Community Deathmatch can attest to, not all stories have a happy ending. come back tomorrow for the butt-pounding conclusion of Community Deathmatch!

Guardians of Galaxy Vol. 3, and I’m happy to report that this officially makes Guardians my favorite trilogy of the entire MCU. It’s not without its flaws, but it definitely has Quantumania beat as far as Phase 5 goes and it probably has most everything in Phase 4 beat at least imo, even Wakanda Forever. The sheer power of just having good, endearing characters and all their development crescendo’ing to this point, combined with a really despicable villain (who, dare I say, was better than how Kang was handled) really made this movie for me. I felt rewarded for having been invested in these characters’ stories over the course of 9 whole years. It’s always a real solid in my book when a movie can pull that off as well as this one did. I really hope James Gunn can translate that same magic over to the DCU.

He wouldn’t be the namesake for my ask thread all these years if he wasn’t

UMD seems easy enough to remember and type in for a week.

Spent majority of last night whipping up a lil something special for me birfday. A little gift to myself and whoever else might still be interested. The subject of today’s Deathmatch proceedings has always been kind of precarious, to the say the least. It was always something I wanted to tackle for this show, pretty sure I dedicated a few moments from a couple episodes that were meant to build up to it, but the nerves from pissing people off even more led to those plans ultimately falling through through the cracks and I never entertained the idea again. It involves a little group called “The Fantastic Five”. I’m sure a good percentage of people who end up reading this know the story, but if not, there’s a still wiki page for it last I checked. Missed opportunity to strike while the iron was hot? Sure. But it was one of the very few moments where I reigned myself in for Deathmatch. Each of The Five’s Deathmatch careers moved forward with varying results. Some stuck around the Deathmatch scene to varying results separately, some disappeared from the show entirely, and others continued chugging on calling and writing the show. I think we’ve put enough distance between now and then. I think the community has endured through conflicts and cliques that were much worse. So I’m thinking I might finally break the chains off this little embargo and make this shit happen right here, right now in the year of our lord 2023, baybay. Jjs, hit that shit for me one time! Jjs: Five long-storied friends become five long-storied rivals, all vying for the same prize! Here tonight, on Community Deathmatch! Jjs: You heard that right, Deathmatch faithful! All five members of The Fantastic Five are here in the same building, at the same time! Who knows when the hell that happened last? 2013 turntable?! Fate once tore them apart. Now fate looks to bring them back together with one goal in mind; the prestigious Fantastic One Championship! Five will enter, only One shall leave with ALL the gold! Tonight, we will finally, truly answer all the tough questions we’ve spent literal years waking up in the middle speculating on; Who is the better friend? Who is the better enemy? We can’t really answer “just who has the least life left in them?” because at least four of the five have since moved on to lead normal lives, but at least we can rest peacefully knowing just which one will stand above the rest! I think that’s enough dialogue for one birthday special. Let’s head down to the ring to begin tonight’s formal introductions! Jjs: And officiating tonight’s Fantastic Five Finger Deathmatch will be none other than WWE 2K22’s Japanese Referee! The following tab contains a spoiler room brawl spoiling tonight’s winner, so watch before reading on. Or you can choose not to and earn my respect.

Maybe they’ll liberate his corpse from that store window and finally put The Dutchman to rest. Or they could just forget all about that and give ‘em a whole new origin for spin-off purposes or somethin idk.