Dr. Sex's Movie and TV Show Reviews

[Doctor Sex]

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

The title suggests all, Santa is captured by Martians because there is no one on Mars to spread Christmas cheer. Wow, quite the plot you got there movie. Words can't even explain how bad this movie is. Its like a shitty 50s b-movie but waaaaay worse. The acting is just pure shit, it isn't funny at all, and its attempt at being realistic are terrible. Now let me just try to elaborate on that... there's a news crew that go's to the North Pole in the few days before Christmas to get an exclusive interview with Santa himself. Ye-NO are they fucking serious i mean if you think its clever its not its stupid. And my god the scenes in this movie just drag and take forever. All the effects in this movie are just pure ass like the actual Martians just looks like people in Blackface with bicycle helmets and hoses and such shit like that. I must consider this movies budget but c'mon you could've at least gotten a cheap store bought Martian costume. I know what your thinking "How could a movie this bad and over the top suck?". Well to you people that think that its just boring like the scenes take forever to get through, all the "jokes" are bland, and they never utilize the cheap special effects which for the record cheap special effects rule but not in this. So for the holidays people instead of watching this watch something better people

This is my first review so I'm sure there is problems with it (i'm suspecting mostly grammar mistakes).

[Old Man Jenkins]

Oh boy! Earth kids meeting Martian kids, I JUST HAVE TO SEE THAT and Santa turning a Mars-Robot into a mechanical toy!"

Srsly, not bad for your first review. I'm surprised I, myself, haven't seen this yet.

[Doctor Sex]

The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

Wow, just wow. So basically this movie stars the original Star Wars cast which is pretty nice considering what this is and it also features an animated short which introduces Boba Fett to the Star Wars universe. Anyway, this movie revolves around Chewbacca's family who are waiting for Chewie and Han to get home to celebrate "Life Day".Yeah this movie dosent at all explain what life day is until the very end. Throughout this whole movie weird and trippy shit happens like for instance, this one old dude that sells shit for "Life Day" gives Chewie's dad this helmet thing. So grandpa Chewie puts it on the helmet and for a few minutes the movie decides to go 2001 on us then Diahann Carroll shows up and keeps chanting "I will bring you a good time" or such bullshit like that(which implies a lot if you know what I mean). Then the rest of it is just TV programs in the Star Wars universe like a cooking show teaching us how to make "bantha suprise" which I think is pretty cool. The way Boba Fett is introduced is in an awkwardly animated CD-I looking cartoon which you guessed it, was a TV program. In my honest opinion I liked this movie simply because it feels like an art movie. If you forget that this is associated with Star Wars it becomes a random trippy 70s sci-fi movie we all come to love. So basically if you like b-movies and weird sci-fi you'll like this a lot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hgwwES6CU8