Blood and Bones

[Ron]

My story has been turned into a spin off. Season 1 premieres on July 3rd.

[70s]

Doesn't this have the same title as a novel by Kathy Reichs?

[Ron]

Spoiler

Spoiler

Doesn't this have the same title as a novel by Kathy Reichs?

I don't know. If is is, I didn't intend it.

[70s]

Spoiler

Spoiler

I don't know. If is is, I didn't intend it.

Oh. Guess you're not familiar with her.

I checked, and it's not a title of one of her books. Is the title of a movie I've never heard of though.

[Ron]

Coming back...

[70s]

Wonderful. Another spin-off.

[Ron]

(S1E1) Episode 1: One Knight

Leonard Lazarre lounged on his couch, one glass of wine in a hand. He surfed through television channels, before he stopped on a porn channel. His phone then rang and he answered it, after several moments.

"L-L-Lazarre," he answered. He listened. "Be right there. And don't let them take the body away until I get there!" Lazarre popped up and raced out the door. He drove to a Halloween store where police cars swarmed. Lazarre walked in and spotted Perry Riley kneeling down beside a pool of blood, and a large, knight costume bag.

"Look who decided to show up," Riley said, annoyed.

"You missed me?" Lazarre said.

"Just shut it, Lazarre and pay attention-for once," said Riley. "Meet Ronald Sandoval. Fifth grade math teacher at Bikini Bottom Elementary School. The store owner said a shopper found him while looking around."

"Someone stuffed him in a costume bag?" Lazarre gawked.

"Odd, I know. But the clerk said the store has been very empty for this time of year, and that only about twenty people have actually been in the store since it opened last week," informed Riley.

"I see," Lazarre said. "So-one of these random twenty shoppers brought in a dead body, stuffed it in a Knight costume bag, left it here, and walked out?"

"No, Lazarre," Riley said, annoyed. "I a shopper bought the costume, then-"

"Oh, that costume wasn't bought," said the clerk, who had been listening to them.

"Excuse me?"

"That costume," he repeated. "It wasn't bought. I have a list for you. It's been in stock the week we've been open."

"Oh," Riley said.

"Hey!" Detective Hernandez walked up. "We found something." He led Lazarre and Riley to a knife that was jammed into a door.

"What the-" Lazarre said. He gazed at the knife, in awe. "How did that get there?"

"I'm as bewildered as you, for once, Lazarre," said Riley. "Run the knife for prints, Hernandez. I also want the bag examined."

"Gotcha," he said and walked off.

---

Riley scanned through a file on a woman named Sabrina Cortez. A witness had reported that she was the neighbor of Sabrina and had seen her come home the other day with some sort of red stuff on her hands. Possibly blood. Riley had discovered that Sabrina was on parole for good behavior.

"I have a lead, Lazarre," Riley said when Lazarre strolled in.

"Is it a trophy wife?" he asked excitedly.

"No," Riley said. "Her name is Sabrina Cortez."

"THE Sabrina Cortez?!"

"Um...you know her?"

"I know OF her. She was a singer in the 80s! I have all eleven of her albums!"

"O..kay? But don't go fanboy during the interrogation, mkay?"

"Alright," Lazarre said, rubbing his hands together. He then jumped up and down as Riley called Hernandez and his partner, Dexter, to fetch Sabrina.

INTERROGATION ROOM

"What the hell is this about," she asked. Her words smashed into each other, sounding more like this-wadaheeeellllisdisbout? She looked like a crackhead.

"Murder," Riley said. "We have a witness that says your arrived home with a red substance over your heads."

"Soo?"

"So...it was blood," said Riley.

"Nononono! I didn't killll someb-" she burped. "-oddy." She then coughed and....picked her nose.

"Then why did you have blood on your hands?" Lazarre asked.

"I was pai-iinting," she said.

"You would've washed your hands THERE, Ms Cortez," Riley said. "Not walk all the way home, and then wash your hands."

Sabrina then leaned in closely and spoke. "Bu*burp*t...if I-I diiid kiiiiiiiilllll him," she swallowed. "Doncha' think I wouuldhave washed *sneeze* my hands?"

"She's right," Lazarre said.

"Don't leave the city, Cortez," Riley said and got up. The two detectives left the room.

"She didn't do it," Lazarre said almost instantly.

"You get that from a girl who probably just got drunk before being dragged here," said Riley.

"She has a point. She may be innocent," persisted Lazare.

"You're a fanboy, Lazarre," said Riley, as she sat down at her desk. "Of course you'll think she's innocent."

"I am not a fanboy," Lazarre said we discuss. He sat down at his desk across from Riley's when Dexter and Hernandez walked in.

"I think we got your guy," Dexter said.

"Surveillance cameras caught a guy robbing a liquor store. The guy's name is Victor Garcia. He knew Sandoval. And Sandoval got sued him and got a restraining order against him," Hernandez informed.

"Still think it's Sabrina?" Lazarre asked. He gloated and got up.

INTERROGATION ROOM

"It says here he got a restraining order against you because you made an attempt to kill him. This time you succeeded," Lazarre said.

"Yes..it's all very true," Victor said. But his accent was heavy so it came out like this: "Yesh....it is oll vardy true."

"So you admit you DID kill him this time?" Lazarre asked.

"No," Victor replied. "I obey thee law."

"But you attempted to kill him and spent fifteen years in jail, just getting released," Riley paused, glancing at the file. "You got out yesterday?"

"Yesh," replied Victor.

"He didn't kill him, Lazarre," sighed Riley. "The morgue said he had been in the bag for at least two days. Victor was still in prison, then."

"Dammit," Lazarre said, frustrated.

----

"I'm confused," Lazarre said the next day.

"As am I," said Riley, looking at a SmartBoard. "I don't see how-"

"The clerk lied," Lazarre suddenly said. "What if he lied about the list?"

"Lazarre, why would he-"

"We never actually checked the list, did we?"

"No-"

Lazarre bounced up and raced to the Halloween store, Riley behind him.

"Can I see the list," he demanded to the clerk.

"Er...sure," the clerk said. Just as he handed Lazarre the list, he swung around his left fist and hit Lazarre square in the jaw. He dashed off.

"STOP!! STOP!" Some stray customers in the store glanced up. Riley raced after the clerk, Lazarre gathering himself. Riley drew her gun and hid by the wall. Suddenly, the power went out. The clerk was in the back hall. Riley felt a rustle behind her and saw Lazarre behind her.

"Let's go," he whispered. They examined the hall. No one was there.

"Where did he-?" The clerk suddenly landed on Lazarre, bounced up, and sprinted towards the door.

"Sto-," Lazarre gasped.

A gunshot erupted from Riley's gun and hit the clerk in the leg. He collapsed on the ground.

"Nice shot," Lazarre said.

"Thanks. Now let's make the arrest."

INTERROGATION ROOM

"I DIDN'T kill him," the clerk said.

"How come you ran?"

"I-...I..."

"SPIT IT OUT!" Lazarre roared.

"Okay, okay," the clerk said. "It was a man named Victor.."

INTERROGATION ROOM

"It was Sabrina..I saw her!" Victor said.

INTERROGATION ROOM

"They're both freakin' liars. It was all of us," Sabrina said.

"Wait, what?"

"Well...Victor needed him dead, I did as well, and the clerk guy could help. So we formed a team and-"

"How did Victor get out of prison?"

"You haven't figure that part out yet? HAA!" Sabrina laughed. "Do you read the papers? The Bikini Bottom Prison Break? The enormous explosion? Anyway, he escaped after I bombed the place."

"...and you two kill him, and the clerk lets you stuff it in the body bag...but why?"

"The clerk was bribed, dumbass."

----

"Well that went nicely," Lazarre said.

"Another case, another....we don't get paid yet." The two laughed and enjoyed some coffee.

[Ron]

(S1E2) Episode 2: Revenge on the Stage

"The play will go well, dear, I promise," Laura Kia said as she walked along with "A Fish in Love"'s director, Stephen Jaytold.

"No, mother," Jaytold said. "As much as I would like it to go well, it won't be as great as my other masterpieces."

"Stop being that way, Stephen. Be more optimistic," Laura said. The two walked out onto the stage when something heavy landed from the catwalk.

"What the-AHHHH!" Laura screamed in horror, for staring up at them was the face of Sidney Moore, the lead in A Fish in love.

----

"The victim was dropped from the catwalk?" Lazarre asked Riley.

"Yes, Lazarre. Pay attention," Riley said. She strolled up to Courtney Sadiva, who was examining the body.

"How did she die?" Lazarre asked.

"She was strangled," reported Sadiva. "Her windpipe is crushed in an extremely abnormal way. I'd say she was strangled from behind. Also, her eyes are closed but someone painting eyes open on her eyelids."

Riley shifted her gaze to the eyelids and saw the paint. Sadiva poked it, and a little bit of a paint was lifted off.

"It's fresh," she said.

"Time of death?" Lazarre asked.

"Around 12:00 AM and 2:00 AM," she said.

"Thank you," Riley said, standing up.

Riley had wanted to become a police officer ever since she had been in the middle of a robbery at a young age. She was stern, which helped her as a detective.

"Who would take the time to kill someone, walk across the catwalk, and then try to hit the director's mother with the body?" Lazarre said.

"What do you need us to do?" Dexter asked, walking up with Hernandez. Dexter was Herndandez's partner.

"Interview the stage employees. Maybe they saw someone coming in and leaving. The murderer killed her between midnight and 2:00, and then waited five hours before the two would walk across. Someone had to have seen the killer," Riley said.

"Gotcha," Hernandez said. The two walked off.

"I'm going to go and examine the catwalk," Lazarre said. Riley then sat down on the edge of the stage, gazing out at the sea of chairs that were going to be filled that night. She then arose and walked towards the director who was talking to an officer.

"Did...Sideny have any enemies?" she cut in.

"Umm...no. Not that I can think of," Jaytold answered.

"Are you still going on with the play tonight?"

"Oh absolutely," he replied. "Do you have any idea how much sweat we've put into this play? We aren't stopping JUST because some killer is on the loose."

"Who will be replacing her?"

"Penelope Beecher. She's over there." Jaytold gestured to a tall, elegant looking woman who was talking to...Lazarre.

"What are you doing?" Riley asked, sprinting over. "I thought you were going to the catwalk."

"Yes, but I ran into this gorgeous lady," Lazarre said, smiling his white smile.

"Hi," she said. "I'm Penelope."

"I've heard," said Riley, a hint of annoyance in her voice. "Can you tell us anything about Sidney?"

"Not much, I'm sorry," she said. "I've met her once or twice during rehearsal, but nothing much after that."

"Did she have any enemies?"

"Hmm...she was fighting with her makeup artist about something, but I'm not sure you'd call that an enemy," she said.

"Can we talk to this makeup artist?"

"No," Penelope said. "Sidney fired him last night."

"Do you know where he lives?" Lazarre asked.

"Some dumpy apartment building. Sunshine Apartments? I'm not sure," said Penelope. "Sorry if I couldn't help. But I need to go rehearse a bit." She walked away, going to the enormous kingdom that was Backstage.

"I know where Sunshine Apartments is," Lazarre said. "My buddy, Barney, used to live there!"

"Is Barney a drunk?" Riley snickered.

"No...he is actually successful nowadays. But let's go get the makeup arti-we don't even know his or her name," Lazarre replied.

"How many makeup artists are going to live in one apartment complex?"

-----

They drove to the apartments and found the makeup artist immediately. His name was Junior MacField. The partners discovered that he twitched, and looked like a wasted fool. After a second inside the apartment, Junior confessed to the murder...that he had killed Sidney in his dreams.

The two left after Junior decided to strip off his clothes and masturbate...in front of them.

-----

"That was a waste," he said.

"I know," said Riley.

"I want to go check out the catwalk, now," Lazarre said. The two got into the car and drove back to the theater. They then walked up the catwalk and gazed over the whole commotion that was the few hours before the play.

"Nothing seems-a footprint!" Riley said. Lazarre ran forward and saw a footprint.

'What if the killer planted it here to throw us off?" Lazarre suggested.

"No," said Riley. "Look." They leaned in closely and saw a peace of hair on the footprint.

"How would her hair get on his foot?"

"Maybe she wasn't strangled...Sadiva said that her windpipe was crushed in an abnormal way...what if the murderer stomped on her with his/her foot? That would be a way-"

A scream echoed through the theater. Everyone looked around.

"Help! HELP!!!" someone yelled.

"Go, go!" Riley said. The two raced down to the stage, drawing their guns. They saw a person in black run out the back door.

"Cut him off!" Lazarre said. The two split up. Lazarre continued to go throughout the labyrinth that was the offices beside the stage. He then saw a whip of a black and ran into an office. There, hanging upside down, was Stephen Jaytold.

----

"He was shot," Sadiva said. "With a 45'."

"Who would do this?!" Laura sobbed. "WHO?!!"

"It was someone INSIDE the building," Lazarre whispered to Riley. "Who?"

"I have no clue, but someone really doesn't want this play to go on," she replied.

"Can we have a list of the cast and crew?" Lazarre asked Laura.

"Um...yes," she sniffed. She kneeled down next to Jaytold, reached inside his coat, and pulled out a piece of paper. "Here."

"Er...okay." Lazarre unfolded it..and his eyes bulged.

"What?" Riley said.

"Jaytold was the killer." He showed Riley the paper where Sidney was circled.

-----

"It doesn't mean he was the killer, Lazarre," Riley said.

"Then what else does it mean?"

"She was the star of the play! Of course she'd be circled," said Riley.

"We got another one," Dexter said, jogging up.

"Are you kidding me?" she asked. "Who?"

"Two, actually. Laura Jaytold and Penelope Beecher."

-----

Laura Jaytold was sprawled on the floor, a sword driven through her back.

"Penelope is in her dressing room," Hernandez said.

"Oh my god," Lazarre said, covering his mouth. "Why is a sword in her back?"

"The psychopath is changing it's ways," Riley said. "Let's go see Penelope." The two walked to her dressing room where half of Penelope was shoved through a mirror, the other half in the wall.

"What the fuck?!" Lazarre yelled.

"Language, Lazarre," Riley said.

"Sorry," he said. "I...I.."

"You liked her, I know," Riley said, rolling her eyes.

"Er...yes," Lazarre said. He walked over to her and ran his fingers over her dead leg.

----

Riley and Lazarre stared at the SmartBoard together.

"Okay, so we know it wasn't Jaytold, Penelope, or Jaytold's mother...who the hell is killing everyone?" Lazarre said.

"There's also the footprint. Hernandez said they ran it and that it came back negative for any prints or a match for another shoe," Riley said.

"What about crackhead Junior?" Lazarre suggested.

"He hasn't left his apartment except to go to market. We've had him under surveillance," Riley said.

"Let's go back."

----

They were back at the theater. A new director, Jacob McGeaver, was directing everyone around.

"You're Jaytold's replacement?" Lazarre asked.

"Yes," he said. "We start in two hours, so please-no police questions." He then walked away. They thens spotted Penelope's replacement. She was a beautiful girl. Her name was Angela Nickerson.

"Hello," she said. "How can I help you?" Something about her voice soothed Lazarre.

"We're just getting the replacements straight," Riley said. "Come on, Lazarre." They continued to walk around, when suddenly a man came running out of the bathroom.

"YOU'RE COPS, RIGHT?!" he yelled.

"Yes, yes," Riley said, unsure where this was going.

"There's a body in the bathroom. Help!" The partners raced into the mens' restroom and found Junior shoved into a toilet.

"Wha..?" Lazarre said. "How did he get in here?"

"Excuse me," a voice said, barging in. "Can you leave this theater? There have been complaints from my cast."

Lazarre looked up and saw Jacob McGeaver staring at them.

"Get...out," he said.

"This is part of a murder investigation, we have the right Mr. McGeaver," Riley said.

"THEN STAY OUTTA MY BLOODY WAY!" he screamed and stormed off.

"I'm sorry," a small voice said. A strawberry-blond poked her head it. "He gets like that...a lot."

"Who're you?" Lazarre asked.

"Gazelle Marqui. I'm his assistant...I was supposed to be in the play, but Mr. Jaytold told me no," she said, smiling.

"HALF AN HOUR, PEOPLE!" McGeaver shouted.

----

Lazarre was talking with an actor named Xavier. He was learning a lot about Sideny. She was a diva. EVERYONE had seemed to despise her before her death.

"Hey, I was thinking," Riley said, walking up. "What if-who're you?" Xavier stared at her.

"My name is Xavier," he said.

"No it's not!" Riley reached over and pulled a wig off, revealing Penelope Beecher.

-----

"I can explain," she said. She then pulled out a gun and held Lazarre at gunpoint.

"DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!" she threataned.

"Who the hell are you?" Angela Nickerson walked up. "You're dead...how are you alive?" Angela then noticed the gun and started to back up.

"MCGEAVER!" she yelled. Penelope then shot Angela square in the chest.

"GO!" Riley pulled out her gun in one swift move. Penelope ran, as Riley chased after her.

"What the-?" McGeaver yelled. Penelope then continued running, when she tripped and flew off the stage. She smashed into the first/second row of chairs, headfirst.

----

"She was jealous of Sidney. She kills her, and then arrives at the theater earlier than everyone else...drops it on the director and his wife, not realizing she leaves a footprint, kills some more, including the director who didn't cast her as the main roll in the first place. She then kills her makeup artist as well, the director's mother, and fakes her death to shift suspiscion, using a special type of medicine to make it seem she was dead," Lazarre summed up.

"All for revenge," Riley said. "Well...she'll be behind bars until she dies. She got what was coming towards her."

"Yeah," Lazarre said, sipping coffee.

"Shut up, Lazarre. You admitted you had a thing for her," Riley said.

"Um...well..got to go!"

[Ron]

(S1E3) Episode 3: Cold Blooded

9:24 PM

A man walks through a kitchen. He opens a cupboard and a body flops down, with a smack. He screams.

----

8:54 AM

Detective Perry Riley stood over the body of Gracey McGrath. Medical Examiner, Courtney Sadvia, kneeled over, her eyes darting over.

Blonde haired Lazarre strolled up casually, carrying a coffee.

"Who is this unlucky fellow?" asked Lazarre, smiling.

"Gracey McGrath," said Riley. "Apparently, she has been missing for five years."

"Woah, brain freeze!" he joked. "Cause of death?"

"Well, she was found in a freezer, so what do you think?" Detective Ryan Dexter said.

"Woah, where'd you come from?" asked Lazarre.

"Picking up the new addition to our team," he replied.

"Addition? WHAT," Lazarre said.

"Hey ya'll!" said Sandy the Squirrel, walking up with Detective Xavier Hernandez.

"Meet Sandy Cheeks," said Hernandez. He didn't sound so thrilled. "She's a transfer from the Texas Police Department."

"I'm really glad to be on the team!" she said.

"Great....," said Lazarre. Riley nudged him in the ribs. "What?"

"Shut up," she rasped. "Alright, Sadiva. What else?"

"Here's her wallet. The last time her ID was renewed was in 2004. She should've had it renewed again in 2009, but that didn't happen. Everything else in her wallet, credit cards, photos, are all outdated. There wasn't any money though," she said. "She was in this kitchen freezer for maybe a day."

"How can you tell?" asked Lazarre.

"She's encased in this small little case of ice. Parts of it are jagged and cracked, signaling she was moved," she said. "But this family was on vacation, and apparently when they got back, the husband went to put some ice they'd picked up on the way back into the freezer and found this."

"Alright, thank you," said Riley.

---

9:13 AM

The team of now five arrived back at the Bikini Bottom Police Station.

"Run down McGrath's financials, Hernandez. Dexter, dig deep in life and try to find out anything. I need to know WHEN she was killed," said Riley.

"What should I do?" asked Sandy.

"Um...go search for some relatives of McGrath," she said.

"Gotcha!" she said, going off.

"Don't ya think her smarts can be used somewhere more useful?" Lazarre asked her after Sandy was out of earshot.

"No," barked Riley, defensively.

"Jeez, jeez!" he said. "Sorry!"

"Lazarre, just leave me alone for a sec," Riley said, flustered. She sat down, whipped her brunette hair behind her and booted up her computer. She then rested her head in her hands.

Lazarre watched from his desk, knowing something was wrong with her.

----

9:29 AM

Hernandez walked up to Riley's desk, holding a folder. She lifted up her head to reveal mascara running eyes.

"Are you okay, Perry?" he asked.

"Yeah," she sniffed. "Fine. What's this?"

"McGrath's financials," he said. "From five years ago. They still have them."

"Good, good," she said. She looked through them. "Um...how come she paid so much for coffee?"

"I dunno," he said. "Where?" She pointed to a few pages worth of coffee.

"Each coffee was $10!" she said. "And she bought it everyday for almost two years. That's well over 1,000 dollars for coffee."

"Where'd she purchase it?"

"A place called Billy's Coffee Joint," she said. "At 27 and Conch. Come on, Lazarre." She got up, slipped into her coat, and walked off, Lazarre trailing behind her.

----

9:38 AM

"Yeah, I remember her." Riley had shown an employee a picture of Gracey McGrath. "She would...erm...come her a lot."

"Yes, we can tell," said Lazarre, sarcastically. "What else can you tell us?"

"I..uh..."

"You're off shift, Marcus!" a gruff voice barked. Gratefully, the so-called "Marcus" ran away.

"Can I help you?" The voice stepped out, to reveal a beefy and smelly man.

"You are?" asked Riley.

"The owner of dis' joint? Who da fuck are you?"

"A cop," Lazarre said. The man went pale.

"Uh...what do you ya need, officers?" asked the man, extremely nervous now.

----

NEXT DAY

10:02 AM

"Look at this," Sandy said, walking up to Riley.

"What?"

She backed away. "Um...there was a shooting five years ago at the coffee place...I thought you'd like to know." Riley took the paper and scanned it. Riley then did some research on her computer and gasped.

"You cracked this case wide open."

----

The team entered the coffee joint, guns drawn.

"HEY!" someone shouted. "STOP IT! GET OUTTA HERE!" Riley motioned for them to line up from where the noise was coming from.

"You lied to us," another voice said. "You will pay."

"NO! PLEASE! I DIDN'T!"

Gunshots then sounded.

"Go, go!" screeched Riley. They smashed through the door. Gunfire erupted. Dexter fell to the ground, bleeding. Hernandez dove behind a table as three people came out, all armed.

"On the ground," Riley yelled.

"No," one man said, holding his gun steady on Hernandez. The other held stead on Riley.

"Eh," one whispered to the other. "Where'd da other guy go?" A gunshot went off. Two of the guys went down; Dexter had shot one in the leg despite he being wounded. The last hit Riley in the fact, causing her to drop her gun.

"You asses try to kill me, and you kill her," the man said, holding a gun to her head. There was tension in the air. Four gunshots split the silence, and the man was on the floor. Lazarre held the gun behind his back.

-----

"It turns out that McGrath was dealing drugs at the coffee shop. But she needed a spot to hide them, so that's why she was forced to pay more for coffee and buy it everyday. But she started to disagree, and they killed her. But there was money with the drugs, so they kept her frozen and continued to deal the drugs. The drugs ran out, and they slipped into the house randomly and stowed it in the freezer, not knowing they would be captured for it," Riley explained to their captain.

"Good job you two," he replied. "Really, really great, as usual."

Lazarre and Riley then stared at each other.

"So what was wrong?" asked Lazarre.

"I...um...my mother, father, and husband were all...um...just killed," she said, suddenly sobbing. "Someone broke in, and murdered them." She was crying now, and couldn't stop.

She then continued to cry on his shoulder as she held onto him tight.

----