CyanideFishbone reviews Cartoons (Currently: Simpsons Season 12)

[CyanideFishbone]

"Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"*

Written by: Donick Cary and Dan Greaney

First aired: May 16th, 1999

 

Synopsis: After being cyber robbed by Snake and working enough cash to go on a cheap vacation, the Simpsons go to Japan.

 

So here we are, the final episode of the season. And I'm glad to say for all this season's shortcomings, bad episodes, and everything, that this season at least goes out with a bang. This is that second episode I keep coming back to. This episode holds a special place in my heart as it was this episode was one of the episodes that got me into the series, and it's one of my favorite episodes. Not the best, but one of my favorites. It's nothing amazing or anything, but it's a good episode with great jokes, a great story, and while the pacing at the start is pretty slow, when they get to Japan around the 7 minute mark, the episode really picks up. I'm a sucker for the vacation episodes (for the most part, I'm looking at you Season 11, if you know what episode I'm alluding to), and I think being one of the earlier ones, there's enough twists here to help keep it fresh. The idea of the Simpsons being on vacation while strapped for cash is certainly interesting, and it's nice how Lisa is the one who wants to do something Japanese, so there's some pressure in it. She's never whiny about it too; it's very much just a "We got here, let's do something that's only available here" way. Of course you get the usual vacation episode conflict; the Simpsons getting in trouble with the law somehow. However, this was an earlier vacation episode and they don't focus on it for too long (unlike a certain piece of shit from Season 11, but I'm sure we'll get to that someday), and the conflict shifts back into the Simpsons trying to find money after wind blows their last million yen away. And let's talk about the jokes in this episode; frequent, and very funny. Among the funniest of the season. I like Homer robbing Ned Flanders and him being very nonchalant about it and Bart in the cyber cafe posing as a girl that Lenny (also in the cyber cafe) takes an interest in, but for the most part the start is just kind of okay, it's a bit slow moving but not really bad. There's also another joke with more of an edge here; Homer says something that sounds super racist but clarifies it, and because of that mislead it's another slightly edgier joke that works. For some reason, the running gag of Homer walking through shoji (the doors you slide open) is never over done and because it's not drilled into your head it's really funny, I like the seizure scene (obviously a reference to Electric Soldier Porygon), I like the family being able to watch the hotel toilet from their TV and seeing Homer take a shit (it doesn't show the TV luckily, it's just Homer in the bathroom as the family screams, the scene at the seafood factory is funny, "America Town" is decently funny, and the game show scene is decently funny. Yeah, this episodes uses the "crazy Japanese game show" trope, a trope I'm not fond of really at all but here, it was 1999 where the trope wasn't super old and it's pretty alright here. The absurdity in the game show is another time where the show's absurdity feels appropriate; it's never too excessive and it feels right given the context. There's also a final scene with the family trying to leave to go home but their plane is being attacked by kaiju, which really isn't funny, but not bad. It's alright. It's another very solid episode, and although it's got shortcomings, it's solid enough. It's like eating comfort food; it's not really amazing, but just feels right. It's a solid episode amongst the season's best for being funny, and it deserves a 10/10. I fiddled with giving it a 9/10 because it has some minor problems, but I just like this episode a lot and for an episode I like a lot I feel 10/10 should feel appropriate.

 

And this episode has a lot of guest stars; all Japanese or Japanese/American actors (George Takei plays the game show host, Keone Young plays the sumo wrestler who has done a lot of cartoon voice acting actually, like Jeong Jeong from Avatar, Kaz from HiHi Puffy AmiYumi, and several others, and a couple actors play roles in this episode), and this episode had some controversy! This episode actually never aired in Japan because of the scene where Akihito is thrown into a box full of sumo thongs. This is the first episode to never been shown in Japan, the next is Season 11's Little Big Mom (which is actually the episode with "Stupid sexy Flanders!") because that episode involves leprosy, a touchy subject in Japan.

 

So now that I'm done with Simpsons Season 10, what's next? We're just getting started. I have a lot of ideas. First I need to publish the entire season rankings (best to worst), which will definitely be out by tomorrow night (I go back to school on Monday), and I'm juggling a few ideas. I might do another Simpsons season review (probably Season 11) because I had a lot of fun with this. I've been playing with the idea of reviewing My Hero Academia Season 3 as that's a show I really fucking like and Season 3 will be out a week from today, but yeah.

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

40 minutes ago, CyanideFishbone said:

for the most part, I'm looking at you Season 11, if you know what episode I'm alluding to

The one where they go to Brazil, right?

[CyanideFishbone]

1 hour ago, Renegade the Unicorn said:

The one where they go to Brazil, right?

No, I'm referring to Kill The Alligator and Run, which is basically considered to be one of the worst episodes of the series, in which the family go to Florida and have to hide from the law. I honestly like Blame It On Lisa (the episode where they go to Brazil), which also pissed off a lot of people.

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

6 minutes ago, CyanideFishbone said:

I honestly like Blame It On Lisa (the episode where they go to Brazil), which also pissed off a lot of people.

My favorite joke from that episode had to be the Teleboobies one. XD

[CyanideFishbone]

Full season rankings: 

 

 

1. Lisa Gets an "A" (10/10)- As much as I like Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo, this episode's just a little better. This episode is just nonstop great jokes, a great plot and subplot, it's the best this season has to offer.

2. Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo (10/10)- I almost put this as number one, and as I said Lisa Gets an "A" is just slightly better. This episode has a lot of great jokes, and as I said, I'm a sucker for vacation episodes. 

3. Wild Barts Can't Be Broken (10/10)- This episode is just a classic "kids vs. adults" story that's just a whole lot of fun stringed with memorable jokes that feel out of the show's golden era. It's a really goddamn solid episode.

4. D'oh-in' In The Wind (10/10)- This episode's 60's psychadelia atmosphere helps it really stand out amongst the season's other episodes, it's got a great plot and it's just straight up funny. Not much to this one.

5. They Saved Lisa's Brain (10/10)- An episode with an amazing guest star is also supported by a great plot with great character dynamics.

6. Mom and Pop Art (8/10)- This episode has probably the funniest scene in the entire season with Homer trying and failing miserably to assemble a barbecue pit, but outside of that, it's another, as I've said a ton of times, solid plot that twists one of my least favorite tropes with some really funny jokes.

7. Lard Of The Dance (8/10)- A great A-plot with an interesting angle for Lisa not fitting in with her peers has a just okay B-plot, but it's a great start to this season.

8. Mayored To The Mob (8/10)- Mark Hamill is super goddamn funny and it's another episode with (I don't want to sound like I'm beating a dead horse) solid jokes and a solid plot.

9. I'm With Cupid (8/10)- Another really interesting and fun plot with solid jokes. 

10. Treehouse Of Horror IX (8/10)- Treehouse Of Horror is almost always good and this one's no excuse, although it's held back by a pretty mediocre third short.

11. Viva Ned Flanders (7/10)- A good episode with a good plot is held back by not being really funny at all and feels pretty empty because of it, but the episode's banter between Homer and Ned is pretty entertaining.

12. The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace (6/10)- A decent concept is held back by it not being very funny at all and Jerkass Homer, but the jokes that are funny are decently funny, but it's just a pretty weak episode, but pretty harmless.

13. Bart The Mother (6/10)- This episode is just Marge Be Not Proud 2.0, without the episode's great jokes and none of the soul crushing scenes like Marge Be Not Proud's ending or Marge just saying "Good night." to Bart. If you've seen Marge Be Not Proud, whether you like it or not, you won't like this episode, but taking that episode out of the context, it's pretty harmless.

14. Maximum Homerdrive (5/10)- This episode is so middle of the road (no pun intended), and although the jokes that work work, it's nothing to really come back to for any reason.

15. Marge Simpson In: Screaming Yellow Honkers (5/10)- This episode is just like a weaker Maximum Homerdrive, and there's not much else to say about it.

16. Sunday, Cruddy Sunday (5/10)- This episode's plot is just all sorts of fucking awful, it's not really funny at all, and feels gimmicky, but there's worse this season.

17. Homer to the Max (4/10)- This episode's first two acts are pretty okay, but it's abysmal third act just embodies so much of everything I dislike about Scully's Simpsons that it just kind of ruins the whole episode. "Strap in and feel the G's" has to be amongst this season's best lines, though.

18. Simpsons Bible Stories (4/10)- Another light 4/10, this episode's just not funny at all for the most part. The episode's ending is awesome though, and Bart as King David is pretty alright too and has some good jokes.

19. The Old Man and the "C" Student (4/10)- This episode's A-plot is just a complete void. There is not one good joke in it, it has a weird deus ex machina in it that's not really funny at all, but the B-plot is pretty funny, but it's not worth watching the snore fest of an A-plot.

20. When You Dish Upon A Star (3/10)- Terrible celebrity cameos, Jerkass Homer, weak jokes, and odd plot elements make an awful mixture. Skip this one.

21. Monty Can't Buy Me Love (3/10)- This episode is just a complete enigma in the worst way possible. There is no focus in the episode, Mr. Burns is out of character, and it's paced abysmally.

This is gonna be controversial.

22. Homer Simpson In: Kidney Trouble (2/10)- This episode is just mean and nasty beyond belief, not funny at all, abysmally paced, and too damn weird. It's so much of everything I hate about Scully's Simpsons.

23. Make Room For Lisa (2/10)- Is Kidney Trouble among the show's worst? Absolutely, and it's pretty much just as bad as Make Room For Lisa in fact. However, I hate this episode slightly more because this episode has so many little things I hate. Why does Marge never question the fact she's getting radio through Maggie's baby monitor? How the hell does she not notice the giant radio tower when she goes outside in the episode? This episode isn't funny at all and it's plot has zero focus, and the scenes with the sensory depravation tanks feel so confusing. Is Homer actually dreaming of the store being closed or is it actually happening? I've read multiple plot summaries of the episode that say it happen, but as someone watching it, it's portrayed awfully. And there's the elephant in the room: Homer mistreats Lisa again and again, and LISA is the one who has to learn the moral despite the fact she's done nothing wrong at all, and it's played dead straight.

 

Edited April 1, 2018 by CyanideFishbone

[CyanideFishbone]

Season 11 will probably be my next review, but I'm still juggling with the idea, and I'll let you guys know when I make a full decision. Feel free to also recommend me anything too. Also, it should be a little bit until I return reviewing, probably 2 weeks at the latest. I just want some down time.

[CyanideFishbone]

I'm glad to say at this point that I'm definitely doing Season 11! The thing is I don't quite know when. My best guess is probably April 20th (insert 4/20 joke here). I don't have much going on the rest of this week or next week until that weekend. I'm about to turn 17 (on April 17th, I'm turning 17th on the 17th coincidentally) and my older sister is pretty much definitely coming home for the weekend from college for my birthday and might be out of school by then, point is that we're celebrating my birthday that weekend, and I'm opening presents on my birthday of course. Point is I don't want to start and have to stop working because I get a little preoccupied with birthday stuff. My schedule clears up around the weekend too, so April 20th is the best guess. It could be out before then, but most likely the 20th. 

Edited April 5, 2018 by CyanideFishbone

[CyanideFishbone]

Okay I've got some good news; Season 11 will be starting today! I've had some minor schedule changes (we're actually celebrating my birthday next weekend because that's when my sister will be home from college). Now for my little prelude into Season 11: I've seen about maybe.... 5 episodes from this entire season and barely remember any of them, so yeah, I'm really going into this blind. I also don't think updates will be as frequent because I got the luxury of Spring Break for Season 10, but there's definitely gonna be quite a bit of updates during the weekends and maybe 2/3 on the weekends. My first review will be posted shortly!

 

Also, when I'm done I'm probably going to a little comparing between Seasons 10/11, to see which season I think is better. So stay tuned for that.

Edited April 13, 2018 by Edward Elric

[CyanideFishbone]

"Beyond Blunderdome"

Written by: Mike Scully

First aired: September 26th, 1999

 

Synopsis: When Homer and Marge are invited to a private pre-screening of Mel Gibson's newest film which Homer hates, Mel Gibson discovers that Homer is the only person brave enough to criticize him and hires him to improve his new film.

 

For all of Season 10's faults, one thing the season had going for it was that Lard Of The Dance was a memorable season premiere and one of the season's best episodes. This episode is not a good sign for things to come. This episode, yeah, is written by Mike Scully, and man, it shows. First things first, Mel Gibson's in this episode, and honestly, he's a pretty good guest star. He's got some decently funny lines and does his role well. Although considering all the shit that came out about him post The Passion Of The Christ, it's a little awkward and feels pretty dated, but it's one of the episode's pluses. Besides this, there's not really much to say about it. This episode felt very long, dull, and unmemorable to me. The only joke I really liked in the episode is when Mel says "Hi, everybody!" and Dr. Nick replies with "Hello, Mel Gibson!", and Homer's suggestions are decently funny, and I like the "evil dog" being used at the end of the episode, and the scene where Homer's suggestions are shown to the film executives is pretty funny. But besides that, there's just not much at all here really. It's a plot that meanders from one point to another, and for an episode that involves a car chase near the end, they could've put a lot more into it because at that point I was so bored with this episode that I just wasn't bothered to care. However, it's not a terrible episode, just very middle of the road, and that's why it deserves a 5/10. It's sluggishly paced, mildly funny, but it has a good guest star, and in this time in the show, above average guest stars are always a treat. 

[CyanideFishbone]

"Brother's Little Helper"

Written by: George Meyer

First aired: October 3rd, 1999

 

Synopsis: Bart is diagnosed with ADHD and is prescribed a drug named Focusyn, which makes Bart extremely obedient, but he quickly descends into madness and believes Major League Baseball is spying on Springfield.

 

So I really wasn't a fan of Beyond Blunderdome, so how's this episode? It's pretty good, honestly. It's not an amazing episode, but it's pretty good. It's not extremely funny, but the jokes that work really do work; the run down fire prevention site is funny, the ending which feels slightly like a cop-out is decently funny and uses a guest star well, Marge and Homer going to see Showgirls, Ned Flanders asking Rod and Todd to get his "exercism tongs" because they think Homer is possessed after taking Focusyn, and my favorite line of the episode, when Bart takes the tank to Springfield Elementary's playground and points the tank to the school and Ms. Krabappel super sarcastically says "Oh no, think of the children!" got a pretty good laugh out of me. But this episode's biggest plus is it's story is pretty straight forward and enjoyable. It's not without it's faults. The Major League Baseball stuff feels kind of out of place but it's never supper jarring, and the episode's pacing isn't great (the MLB stuff doesn't come in play until around 2/3rds through the episode) but it never feels to clunky or slow. It's an episode like Mayored To The Mob or I'm With Cupid where there really isn't a ton to say; it's got some good jokes and it's a solid story and a decent guest star. I feel really bad for making a review shorter than mine for Beyond Blunderdome, but there just isn't a ton to say about this one. It deserves a 8/10 from me. Something interesting is that 5 months after this episode aired, then-President Clinton held the first White House conference on mental health in history, which according to a 2002 article (https://web.archive.org/web/20091004135159/http://www.americanoutlook.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=publication_details&id=2064&pubtype=DailyArticles) was about "over-drugging school children" which several people thought was "predicted" by this episode. To be honest, I think the whole "The Simpsons predicted X thing" stuff is pretty stupid, but hey, a conference like that was a smart move. I highly doubt it was a result of this episode though.

[CyanideFishbone]

"Guess Who's Coming To Criticize Dinner?"*

Written by: Al Jean

First aired: October 24th, 1999

 

Synopsis: When Homer becomes the town's new food critic, he become criticized for being too positive in his reviews and starts criticizing everything for no reason, leading Springfield's restaurant owners to unite to take down Homer by feeding him a poisoned eclair.

 

I'm glad to say that this is the first episode this season that I've got quite a bit to talk about with it. This episode is a strange one, and it's not even because of it's absurdity, it's because like Viva Ned Flanders, I just don't know what the hell to think about it. It's like the episode was written by two different people. This episode's first half is a little slow moving, but the jokes it tells are genuinely really funny for this era of the show's history. I like Homer trying to put how much he hates Flanders into his reviews, "If he's so great, why is he dead?", Homer washing himself in the bathroom trying to get the "stink of failure" off of him, there's quite a bit to like. And it's kind of a fun story in this part. However, when he becomes negative, this episode loses so much of it's mojo. It just starts to feel really..... lame. Homer telling Lisa to always give into peer pressure is funny, but when it comes to things like this eclair, it's all just kind of lame, honestly. I do appreciate how they were trying to shuffle things up a little bit by making Homer go from being positive to unrealistically negative, but I feel like the stuff with Springfield's restaurant owners trying to take down Homer is a little obvious and kind of lame. If they wanted to go with Homer going from positive to negative it could've been interesting honestly to see the newspaper publishing Homer's reviews start to get angry at Homer for his reviews and Homer having to change, or I think what could've been really interesting for the episode as a whole is it could've just made Homer become Jerkass Homer for his entire duration of being a food critic, treat him like the villain and have him learn the effect of what he says. Both of my suggestions are pretty cliche, I know, but this episode feels very by the numbers and I think those two would've had more interesting results than do the overdone poison trope which was pretty old even by 1999 standards. However, it's not really a terrible episode and it's got some good jokes, but it's held back by some slow pacing and honestly, a really lame conclusion to a plot that could've gone an interesting place without pulling out the poison trope. Another thing is that Ed Asner guest stars in this episode as the publisher of Homer's reviews. He's just okay. He doesn't really add anything to the episode, but doesn't subtract anything and does a good voice role. For all of this episode's problems, it gets a 6/10 from me. It's another episode that doesn't really gel with me, but is pretty harmless and has an about equal ratio of good and bad things about it, and the jokes that work really do work and that's what makes it above average for me, but not great for me.

[Wumbo]

"Sorry Marge, I'm afraid this gets my lowest rating ever: seven thumbs up."

[CyanideFishbone]

33 minutes ago, Just Stamp The Ticket Guy said:

"Sorry Marge, I'm afraid this gets my lowest rating ever: seven thumbs up."

Not gonna lie, the episode's biggest advantage are it's one liners. They're pretty much all great.

[Wumbo]

It helps that the writers are basically forced into "witty" with Homer's job-of-the-week being a critic. The episode is saved by its one-liners, as you said, but I can't picture most of these lines coming out of Homer's mouth. They're a bit too clever for him, I think.

[CyanideFishbone]

"Treehouse of Horror X"

Written by: Donick Cary, Tim Long, and Ron Hauge

First aired: October 31st, 1999

 

And here we are at this season's Treehouse Of Horror! I'm sure you already know how I go about reviewing these; I review each segment individually, state my favorite, and then rate the episode as a whole. So here we go:

"I Know What You Diddily-iddily-did"- In this short, The Simpsons accidentally run over Ned Flanders and try to cover up his death, when someone starts tormenting them knowing that they know they killed him. This short has everything a good Treehouse Of Horror sketch has; good jokes and a surreal plot. It doesn't have much more than just that, but it's very satisfying. The jokes with Homer poking Ned Flanders' dead body, him trying to cover it up, and the church scene are pretty funny and when it speeds up near the end is when it gets really enjoyable. I also like how the person tracking them down was Ned Flanders all along in an alright twist, who was in the process of becoming a werewolf when it happened. Although it doesn't make much sense because it looked pretty clear when the Simpsons ran over them, I can let it slide because it's a 7 minute segment and they had to wrap it up, and they did an alright job at that. This is a pretty good Treehouse of Horror segment, and it gets an 8/10 from me.

"Desperately Xeeking Xena"- In this short, Bart and Lisa get superpowers and become a superhero duo named Stretch Boy and Clobber Girl and have to save Lucy Lawless dressed as Xena from a villain named "The Collector" (Comic Book Guy). I've heard from some people that Xena has not aged well over the years, and I'm glad to say this short does the exact opposite. This is hands down the best short of this collection and the best Simpsons i've seen this entire season. There's so much to like here. I love how you don't need to know anything about Xena to enjoy this, and the entire sketch is just straight up fun. Comic Book Guy as a pathetic supervillain is a match made in heaven and him sealing celebrities nerds worship in human sized plastic bags is so crazy and out there that it works (because it's Treehouse Of Horror and it's the pretty much the only opportunity to go crazy the entire season, even though Mike Scully begs to differ). It's just a ton of fun. Lucy's banter between the nerds whens he's kidnapped is funny, and it's just the smaller jokes that work. There's no jokes that are super remarkable, but pretty much all of them work here, and even though they're all not laugh out loud worthy, that's okay. I'd rather take a good amount of small jokes that all get alright laughs than jokes every second that are hit-or-miss. It's a really great short and it's just a ton of fun, and because of that it gets a 10/10 from me.

"Life's A Glitch, Then You Die"- In this short, the Y2K bug spreads through out the world when it becomes 2000 and the apocalypse is upon the world, and the family has to take 2 different rockets to go into space, without knowing Marge, Maggie, and Lisa's rocket goes to Mars and Homer and Bart's goes straight into the Sun. For a Treehouse Of Horror segment involving the literal apocalypse, it does a great job. Unfortunately it's kind of a "it's just really solid" short, but I like a lot of the jokes. I love the joke with Ratt at the start getting themselves confused with other glam metal bands (an obvious jab at how so many of those bands sound exactly the goddamn same), the reveal of what celebrities are going to the Sun is funny (particularly Dan Quayle, Ross Perot, Tonya Harding and Tom Arnold and Rosie O'Donnell singing which get Homer and Bart to eject from the rocket). It's crazy, absurd, and it's funny. And yeah, the short has 4 guest stars in it (I Know What You Diddily-Iddily-Did has Frank Welker in it who's not really a celebrity and Lucy Lawless is in Desperately Xeeking Xena), and this might sound dumb, but i'm kind of okay with it because it's a special episode. It's pretty great. 9/10.

 

Not gonna lie, this is the first episode beside Brother's Little Helper this season that i really enjoyed, but I liked this one more, and it might be a little crazy but I actually think I prefer this one over Season 10's Treehouse Of Horror. Treehouse Of Horror IX had 2 great shorts as opposed to 1 mediocre one, but all 3 of these are pretty great. I'd check it out, and it deserves a 9/10 for me. I just really enjoyed this one, can't say much more about it, and Desperately Xeeking Xena is a must watch Treehouse Of Horror short for anyone who likes Treehouse Of Horror, or just The Simpsons in general. It's not better than most of the earlier sketches, but for the show's quality at the time it's very good.

[CyanideFishbone]

"E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)"*

Written by: Ian Maxtone-Graham

First aired: November 7th, 1999

 

Synopsis: After a Southern gentleman seriously challenges Homer to a duel thinking he won't do it, he takes the deal seriously causing the family to flee to the farm he grew up on, where he creates a highly addictive tobacco/tomato hybrid known as "tommaco", which becomes a sensation, and Laramie Cigarettes offers him 150 million as addicted animals ruin Homer's desires.

 

I remember the first time I saw this episode I honestly didn't like it. Upon rewatching it, this episode is pretty good actually. It's a pretty good episode, but it's not without it's faults, but it's positives outweigh it's faults in my eyes. The idea of "tomacco" is just so extremely Simpsons that it's hard not to like, and it's used fairly well. Unfortunately, it only comes into play about 6 minutes before the episode ends, so I think it could've been given a little more room for more ideas. Although, nicely, the episode's paced alright and they end up on the farm around 6 minutes in to the episode so there's some good room for jokes in that time space. On the note about the episode's end, I think the ending with the addicted animals is...... pretty stupid, honestly. It's in the same boat as the stuff with the poisoned eclair from Guess Who's Coming To Criticize Dinner where it's just kind of lame, but not really bad. One thing that's weird to me is during the scene where the animals attack the family in his house it's all animals seen before in the episode, and an ostrich is in it. It's a weird little note, and it's not even a nitpick because it's so minor that it just doesn't really get under my skin. I do like how they return with the Southern gentleman instead of just leaving that plot point entirely, like much other Scully episodes would do. I don't know if it's a mislead that's meant to be funny, but the gentleman is distracted by Marge's pies (that she tried to sell to get the attention of tomacco sellers because she didn't want people to become addicted) but he immediately shoots Homer (who's hurt, but pretty much okay in a kind of funny joke). Oh yeah, the jokes of this episode really work. I love Homer calling Ned and the episode building momentum for an emotional moment and Homer immediately hangs up, I like the super awkward conversation between Lenny and Carl, I like Homer calling the raccoons in his run down farm house "cats with rabies", the Zorro stuff is alright at the start, "This tastes like Grandma!" is pretty memorable, I love the parody of Love Shack performed by the B52's, the mislead on the Laramie truck about Homer meeting the family feels like a classic Simpsons mislead joke, and I really like the "Sneed's Feed and Seed" joke. It's a juvenile joke, but it's damn clever and it took a while for me to figure out. Also, gotta love when the Simpsons uses places from older episodes, here we see the house from Grandpa vs. Sexual Inadequacy from Season 6. 

And that's not all with this awesome episode; In 2003, an operations analyst at a sewage treatment plant in Oregon named Rob Baur decided to try to cultivate his own tomacco, and his effort quickly made him recognized by the show's fanbase and even it's own creators, and he is in the DVD commentary for this episode. Baur even gave the episode's writer, Ian Maxtone-Graham, one the tomaccos he planted (more detail here: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/6872418/Simpsons-stories-the-tomacco-man.html) Wikipedia even tells me that the plant was tested and it contained some nicotine. The plant grew for 18 months, but died after a winter. I always love it when people try to recreate fictional products from television shows. Here's a news report on it:

 

(yeah I know it's Fox but whatever, at least they're not talking about politics and I know this is a real thing from other sources)

 

In conclusion, this episode is awesome. I've debated between a 9 and a 10, and while the ending doesn't bug me too much and it does only slightly and the fact tomacco is only in it for a short bit, I've given it a 9/10. It's very close to 10 though, and for the show's quality at the time, it's for sure a 10 out of 10, but as a normal Simpsons episode I have to give it a 9/10 that's very close to a 10. Maybe I'll change it, I don't know. But all I want to know is whether or not a tomacco really does taste like grandma.

[CyanideFishbone]

"Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder"

Written by: Al Jean

First aired: November 14th, 1999

 

Synopsis: When Homer bowls a perfect game, he becomes a local celebrity but loses his fame. After a failed suicide attempt, he decides to try to spend more time with Maggie after seeing Ron Howard's care for his kids.

 

This episode is Monty Can't Buy Me Love 2.0. There is no other way to explain it, but I think this episode is even more confusing than that one. This episode feels like a fever dream in the worst way possible. Nothing about it makes sense, and it's pretty much all annoying. This is one of those Scully episodes that feels like two different episodes in one. The first half has jackshit to do with the second half. Okay, so positives. This episode's first half is honestly...... not that bad. The scene where Homer gets the perfect game is really funny and one of the season's most memorable moments so far, and the first half has good moments throughout (I really like the waitress joke). However, it's slow moving and feels kind of clunky. Now, let's talk about the second half. This is when this episode gets BAD. Okay, so basically we're nailed over the head that the town loves Homer in the end of the first half, and around the start of the second half, a TV report declares Homer as "yesterday's news" and he heads to Moe's. At Moe's is when this plot gets fucking destroyed. Now, let's go back to the first half, because it's not perfect at all. In the first half, Homer is neglectful to his family in a typical way. This is vital later, because as you guessed it: like Make Room For Lisa, this episode tries to tug at your heartstrings! But we'll get to that later. At Moe's, Moe notices Homer is really sad and Homer acknowledges this and leaves, while the episode plays The End by The Doors (another one of the episode's positives, great song), but this scene where he walks out of Moe's. This fucking scene. This scene is one of the most out of place scenes I've ever seen over the course of this show. It's strangely extremely depressing as it's played extremely realistic, Homer notices a skyscraper, and tries to jump off the top of it, played dead straight. There's no hint of lightheartedness in it. It's just, Homer walks down the sidewalk really sadly, goes to the top of a skyscraper and tries to kill himself. Let me just emphasize this again; Homer Simpson, a pop culture icon, well (I shouldn't need to describe Homer's characteristics because we all know him well) just tried to kill himself in a scene that is played dead straight. And we're just supposed to forget this ever happened. This is VITAL to the enjoyment of the rest of this episode, because as I've said, WE JUST WATCHED A CHARACTER SEVERAL OF US LOVE TRY TO KILL HIMSELF. He DID survive, but it's just awkward because, well, need I say more? Homer Simpson just tried to commit suicide in a serious scene! Is there any consultation from his family? Is there any mention of this later in the episode? Nope, none.

 

Anyway, after ending up alright, Homer runs into Ron Howard (who uses the same character model from When You Dish Upon A Star, so it's just like a bad reminder of that episode) and notices how he cares for his kids, and I bet you can see where this plot will go now. Also, we're about 17 minutes in. Yeah, this is a "Homer tries to be a better parent" episode, which we've seen done to death by this point, and there's nothing really to keep it fresh. Was Homer trying to kill himself an attempt to keep it fresh? I don't know at all. And that perfect game? Homer's celebrity status? Yeah, never mentioned again. Anything from the past of this episode? Nope, nothing. E-I-E-I-D'oh's start had little to do with the latter half, but they reference it again and it feels like a sequence in a story with a fun twist in the absurd, yet believable tomacco idea. Here... not really. It feels like the earlier half is non-existent and in it's own universe, while we just watched Homer try to take his own life and try to treat his kids better. Back to the episode, Homer tries and fails to connect with Bart or Lisa and tries to connect with Maggie, by dressing up as a Teletubbie, and we can see throughout this whole sequence Maggie is clearly upset, and not having fun (that'll come in later). I understand that Homer is not an empathetic person at all, but, the man just had a near death experience, and was opened up to how another father treats his kids, so wouldn't he try to understand his kid's feelings better? It just seems weird to me, because as I've said again and again, Homer messes up constantly and treats people poorly often, but in the end realizes the error of his ways because we're supposed to believe he's a good person. Anyway, Homer tries to swim with Maggie at a pool, and while driving back, they drive by the ocean and Maggie points at a butterfly near the ocean, and Homer thinks she wants to go to the ocean to swim. Here we see this episode's cherry-on-top: a copout ending! They go out to swim, and Homer goes slightly far out in the ocean while Maggie is scared to go in the water. Homer starts to drown, and Maggie...... just suddenly is able to swim and saves Homer's life. What the actual fuck? It makes sense for Maggie to shoot Mr. Burns (I'm giving spoilers to a 20 year old Simpsons episode, so there's no real point in a tag), but for Maggie to swim really well, not in a dream or a Treehouse Of Horror segment like that, in a show that outside of Treehouse Of Horror/trilogy episodes is very founded in reality with slight absurdity, it just feels weird, out of place, out of character, and a lazy way to save Homer. Anyway, Maggie saves Homer, the family heads to the beach, and Dr. Hibbert is there and says "infants gain superhuman strength when a parent is in danger". Remember what I said; for the most part, founded in reality with absurd elements thrown in for comedic effect/satirical purposes to still make it seem believeable. I don't buy this, and it feels like a copout. And the episode ends with Homer playing with Maggie and being a jerkass in a semi-"emotional moment".

 

This episode makes me angry, it really does. This is definitely our first Scumsons of Season 11, deserving an in your face 3/10. It feels like two different episodes, Homer tries to kill himself in a scene played dead straight and the episode tries to make you laugh pretty much right after it, and we have no time to see Homer try to be a better parent and we just don't care because Homer tried to kill himself and we're just supposed to forget it to see a copout ending and a botched emotional episode. This episode is just unpleasant, through and through. Stay the hell away from this episode, although yeah, the bowling part's pretty alright.

[CyanideFishbone]

"Eight Misbehavin'"

Written by: Matt Selman

First aired: November 21st, 1999

 

Synopsis: When Apu and Manjula give birth to octuplets, they struggle to take care of them.

 

I don't think I've ever seen a more unpleasant episode from this show. This episode, through and through, is just so unpleasant. Is it the fact the octuplets are sold to an evil businessman and turned into circus acts? Is it the fact in an honestly funny line, Apu says he wants to die? I just can't say much about this episode besides that it's unpleasant, and kind of hard to sit through. Much like Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder, I just felt..... dirty after watching it. Anyways, enough about this episode's unpleasantness, are there positives? Yeah, I'd say so. The jokes that work work. I love Homer's line about kids being great so you can teach them to hate the things you hate, as stupid as the ending is it's honestly kind of funny, Butch Patrick's alright in it. However, this episode besides being really unpleasant and leaving a bad taste in my mouth has one giant problem; it's one sided. It's very one sided in it's portrayal of raising children. When we see Homer and Marge raise their kids in flashback episodes, they're seen very warmly and raising children is portrayed as it should be; something that's tough but completely worth it. None of it at all here really at all; we just see Apu talk about how much he doesn't like raising the kids, sells them to a evil businessman, they're saved, yadda yadda yadda. The scene where the octuplets are presented also is something I haven't seen yet while watching Scully Simpsons: A scene that's so unfunny that it's legitimately painful. I don't understand how anyone could find that scene at all funny, it just feels uncomfortable and dirty. Now I don't want to seem like a pussy at all because my argument does not boil down to "nothing but bad things happen so the episode sucks". The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson is among my favorite episodes of the show and in that episode, pretty much nothing but bad things happen to Homer. However, the key to the difference between that and this one is portrayal. In The City Of New York vs. Homer Simpson, bad things happen to Homer all played for comedic effect and culminate in Homer trying to leave New York with a boot in his car and causing destruction. Here, it's played realistically and it's just really somber and depressing. When the show doesn't try to make you laugh, it usually tries to make you emotional. I have no idea at all what they were going for here; were they intentionally trying to make me uncomfortable? Because if so, they succeeded with flying colors. 

 

I do not like this episode. It's not frustrating like Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder, it's just so extremely unpleasant. Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder had Homer attempt to kill himself and tried to make you laugh and forget that ever happened right after it, but this episode is just through and through unpleasant. Yeah, it's funny in some parts and is pretty alright before Manjula gives birth, but after that it falls hard and becomes extremely unpleasant and honestly kinda hard to watch. To the one person who enjoys seeing kids cry and cause their parents stress, you'll like this, but honestly I don't get how anyone could really like an episode that's this unpleasant from a show that either wants to make it's audience laugh (which is all it wants to do at this point in the show's history) or make you emotional with it's characters (which it stopped doing for LOL so random plots and gimmicky celebrity cameos), it does neither and just makes you feel uncomfortable, and not for the intentions of cringe comedy or anything. This episode gets a 3/10 from me and will join the probably growing list of this season's Scumsons. It's just such an empty, nasty, unpleasant episode that brung my mood down and I hate it for that. Screw this episode, and the act of giving children is a great thing, but it's a decision that's up to you. 

[CyanideFishbone]

"Take My Wife, Sleaze"

Written by: John Swartzwelder

First aired: November 28th, 1999

 

Synopsis: When Homer wins a Harley-Davidson and forms a biker gang named "Hell's Satans", he attracts the attention of a tough biker gang with the same name, who crash at his house. When they begin to admire Marge, they end up kidnapping her.

 

This is one of those Maximum Homerdrive-kind of Scully episodes. The ones that are just.... empty. There's just not much to say about this episode at all, besides the fact it's just constantly dull and lame. There are some jokes that work; I like Jay North's guest appearance and the joke about Rod and Todd watching Lisa wash her hair outside because the gang trashes the Simpsons house is the only time I laughed out loud through out the entire episode, and I like Homer's pathetic biker gang, but that's really it. The guest stars are fine, and the plot's just boring. It just feels like one of those episodes that just lazily and sluggishly moves from each plot point to the next without any really fun plot twists at all. It's just.... it's not bad, but it's really not great. There's nothing infuriating about it, and there's nothing great or that good about it. It is the epitome of middle of the road, but it's not terrible really, and that's why it deserves a 5/10 from me. It's just okay. Okay jokes although the plot is pretty boring but not terrible, okay to good guest stars, it's just okay. 

[CyanideFishbone]

"Grift Of The Magi"

Written by: Tom Martin

First aired: December 19th, 1999

 

Synopsis: When Fat Tony extorts all of Springfield Elementary's money, it forces the school to be closed and is bought out by a toy company named Kid First Industries, which uses school to design a toy for Christmas time. The toy made is Funzo, which Bart and Lisa discover is hell bent on destroying all other toys.

 

This is the last Simpsons episode of the 90's, and um... they went out on a...... I don't even know what the hell to call this episode. This episode is strange even for Scully standards. First off, for a Christmas episode, it's a pretty bad sign when it is mentioned that it is Christmas time 6 minutes in and we're given nothing visually to let us know it's Christmas besides the trees having no leaves, which is pretty broad. There's some positives to this episode; I love Moe's "bags", and as for the main jokes beside one thing I'm getting ready to talk about, not much else. Anyway, Gary Coleman guest stars in this episode and he is hands down, the best thing about this episode. Having Gary Coleman as this ultra short security guard is such a strange decision that's so out there that man, it really works. And the lines they gave him were great, and they're all delivered great. Every scene of his in this episode is just a treat. Is the rest of this episode a treat? No, not really at all. There's some weird things about this episode. When Fat Tony first shows up is just a weird scene. Okay, so first things first there's an ozone hole over Springfield (weird choice but okay) so Bart, Milhouse and Lisa have to stay inside the Simpsons home, get bored, dress up as ladies and jump on Homer and Marge's bed, Homer catches them (with Milhouse saying they're not gay and just drunk in another decently funny joke), Bart breaks his coccyx by falling off the bed and hitting a bowling ball, and has his coccyx repaired and has to be in a wheelchair. Bart has trouble getting up the stairs into school and Principal Skinner says he doesn't have ramps when Fat Tony literally just out of nowhere pops out behind a tree. It's just really awkward in the way he appears, and it's not like it's built to be a joke. It's like Bart, Lisa and Principal Skinner are just talking and he literally pops out behind a tree and starts talking about how he's going to repair the school, "repairs" it, steals Skinner's money. It's just awkward. And all this "Funzo being evil" stuff falls into the "lame" category like the poisoned eclair, but this is easily the worst it's gotten. I can't say much else about it besides the fact I know it's been done before somewhere else and it's just lame. Bart gets consumed by a Funzo he got after Bart and Lisa go into Kid First Industries to protest, gets snapped out of it after he realizes Funzo impaled his Krusty doll, they go to persuade people to stop buying Funzos, steal Funzos, burn them. I can at least say that at least that kinda lame idea is given no breathing room; much like every other plot element in this episode! Holy fuck is this episode unfocused! It feels like there's at least like 10 major plot points that are touched upon and just dropped. Oh yeah, also Funzos are a parody of Furbys, and they're okay at it. They definitely play up the creepy factor which is nice. But it's just.... ehh. And this episode just kinda.... ends. Like, Coleman comes over to the Simpsons house after all the Funzos are burned, and him, Homer, Bart and Lisa literally have a conversation the show doesn't show about commercialism during the holidays which it is mentioned it's about commercialism but nothing about it is said, they go home, Mr. Burns gives a bunch of money to reopen the school in something that is just so out of character, and there's a lame reference to A Christmas Carol and it's pretty much wrapped up.

 

This episode just baffles me. It really does. Everything about this episode just polarizes me. It's more of an enigma then Monty Can't Buy Me Love or Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder, and it's another episode that just feels like a bad fever dream. There's just something so.... Un-Simpsons about this episode. Like this episode does not feel like a Simpsons episode at all, and for the life of me I can't put my finger on it. It's just an enigma, man, and it's not a good one, and that's why it deserves a 4/10. It's a Scumsons, but Coleman is awesome, and it's a different kind of Scumsons. This episode is just so all over the place and it suffers from it hard. While (I don't want to repeat my big criticism with Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder), and Eight Misbehavin' was just such an unpleasant episode, this episode feels unfocused as hell and non-genuine. I implore you to go look up some Youtube clips of Coleman's scenes if you like him or funny Simpsons guest stars, but if not, stay away from this episode, and maybe go watch Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire or Marge Be Not Proud, hell even Holidays Of Future Passed if you want to watch a good Simpsons Christmas-themed episode to help you get in the Christmas mood around the holidays.