The Misadventures of Mappy and Plenkins

[Sauce Mama]

This is gonna be pretty short, since it is the prologue after all.

 

Prologue: 

 

It was a dreary night in downtown Los Angeles, looking like it was about to rain. Big surprise there. All was quiet until two figures were seen running from the police. 

 

"DAMMIT MAPPY! I told you we should've never said anything about them in the first place!" 

 

"Wha-? Shut up Plenkins it was your fucking idea!" 

 

They continue to run until they manage to find a hidden alleyway to take cover from the 5-0.

 

"We should be safe here," Mappy half-whispered, "I never imagined all this shit would happen. I'm ruined!" 

 

Plenkins rolled his eyes in irritation. "Stop being a baby about it. Everything will work out. Good thing I packed heat." 

 

Mappy got wide-eyed at the sight of the 9 milli. After all they've been through it seemed as though Plenkins wanted to get them into even more trouble than they already were in. "ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?! You want us to get kill-" 

 

Suddenly, the sound of a helicopter and the spotlight overwhelmed the two skeptics. "GET ON THE GROUND NOW! DROP YOUR WEAPON YOU'RE SURROUNDED!" 

 

The two found themselves surrounded by the LAPD. Cali's finest….some of the time. Mappy and Plenkins looked at each other with a hopeless expression on their face. 

 

"Damn you Saus."

 

 

How did Mappy and Plenkins get themselves into this mess? And just who the hell are they? Find out in the first chapter, the start of it all, coming soon. 

[Old Man Jenkins]

If there was going to be a song, I'd expect Bad Company can't wait to see just who the hell they are.

[Guest Long Timmy]

[Sauce Mama]

 

 

Chapter 1: Skeptical Beginnings 

 

1 Day Earlier... 

 

Apartment Complex, Los Angeles

 

A man wearing a sweater vest finishes unpacking his things in his new apartment. It was tiny and a bit run-down, but yet it had all the essentials for him to live simply. 

 

"Ahhh, looks like thats the last of it. What a perfect place to find some advertising jobs and finally get my life going. There's bound to be hundreds of opportunities!"  

 

Mappy was his name, a university grad and had plenty of impressive academic achievements. He majored in communications and moved from the East to find a sustaining job unlike the one he had before, a car rental place who had batshit insane clients and he just couldn't take it anymore. He sets the last box down and makes his way to the kitchen table. 

 

"Time to fill out some applications," he says as he grabs a stack of papers and opens his laptop. As he started filling them out, he hears some faint ukulele playing coming from next door. Curious, he decides to check it out. The door was open, so Mappy barged into the adjoining apartment. Inside was Plenkins, a chilled out braddah from Hawaii, who moved to the West Coast because he was tired of all those damn "micronesians" or however the fuck you spell that. Focusing on his aspiring writing career, he lives alone in the Angel City. As Plenkins kept plucking the uke and smoking a fat ass joint, Mappy just kinda stood there.....menacingly.....until he finally decided to break the silence.

 

"Hey there! I couldn't help but hear that ukulele playing of yours, and I thought I might as well introduce myself. I'm Mappy, I just moved in next door! Put 'er there!" he says in a cheerful tone as he holds out his hand. Without a single glance, Plenkins replied. 

 

"First of all, no haole barges in my apartment without permission. And second, so you're new here, big whoop, wanna fight about it?" 

 

Mappy retracted his hand hesitantly and took a seat on the nearest chair. 

 

"Sorry. Uh, and you are?" 

 

"Plenkins." 

 

"Plenkins. Nice to meet you. So.....how'd you end up in Los Angeles?" 

 

"The writer of this story just typed that above so just read that." he replied with a dry chuckle. 

 

Mappy got up from his seat. "Well, since this plot is obviously not going anywhere and that was just a lazy attempt to get it rolling, would you mind showing me around the city for a bit? See, I want to get to know some good places to find a job, get something to eat.......and mehbeh throw bands. "

 

"Sure thing, brah. Let's get out of this hell hole." 

 

With that, Mappy and Plenkins headed out on the roads of the LA area. He showed the nooby newcomer places like the Griffith Observatory, Rodeo Drive, the Hollywood sign, and a bunch of other cool places. But the one place they didn't go to was Malibu. Finally, it was sunset, and the boys went to get some grub at In N Out.

 

"Dude this place is the bomb! We never had anything like this on the East Coast!" Mappy said excitedly. 

 

"We never had anything like this in Hawaii either. " Plenkins replied after a quick swig of his shake.

 

"That's why the West Coast is the best coast!." a girl said. She was sitting at the table directly next to them. Map and Plenks look up at her. She had extremely luscious, long eyelashes. It was unlike anything they've ever seen before. She batted the lashes ever so gingerly and introduced herself. 

 

"Hey, I'm Saus. Sorry to interrupt you guys, but I couldn't help but notice you two seem like you aren't from around here." 

 

Mappy and Plenkins just kept staring at her eyes like idiots. 

 

"Uh, hello?" Saus waved her hand in front of their faces. 

 

Plenkins snapped out of it. "UH YEAH *ahem* yeah I've lived here a while... I'm originally from Hawaii tho. This dude over here is the noob. " Mappy stepped on his foot. "OWW!"  

 

"What Plenkins is TRYING to say, is that I just moved here from the east coast -with a successful communications degree I might add a heh heh- and he was just showing me around and uhhhhhh...." Mappy and Plenkins stared at her lashes again. It's like they were hypnotized or something like what the fuck haven't you seen a pretty girl with long eyelashes before? Get a fucking grip. 

 

"Are those even real? No. They have to be fake. My four years of prestigious college education could totally prove that they're fake. Plus I'm just gonna ASSume they're falsies." Mappy thought to himself. 

 

Plenkins was doing some thinking of his own, "Out of all the haoles I've seen in my lifetime, none have had lashes this long. I'm just gonna ASSume they're fake. They have to be.....right? Yeah, she's just one of those haoles with fake eyelashes.......right?" 

 

Saus caught on to them staring at her and got a bit uncomfortable. "Uhhh- Sounds cool! Well you guys enjoy the rest of your night..." Saus says as she turns to walk away.

 

"Wait!!" Plenkins bursts out. Saus stops and turns around. "I uhh....just wanted to ask you something."

 

"Okay, shoot." 

 

"Uhh- Actually Mappy was the one that wanted to ask you."

 

Mappy snapped away from his trance. "WHAT? No!" 

 

"Cmon dude," Plenkins whispered. "You know you're thinking the same thing I am." 

 

"FINE." Mappy turns to Saus, "We just wanted to know if your eyelashes were real. I mean, they're super long and stuff." 

 

"Is that why you guys were staring me down all weird and shit?" Saus laughs, "Hahaha! Yes, they most certainly are real." 

 

"I CALL BULLSHIT!" Plenkins burst out. 

 

"Ex-fucking-kizuna? Ex-fucking-scuse me?" Saus said in an irritated tone. "What's that supposed to mean?"

 

Plenkins puts a sarcastic arm around her. "Listen....Saus, baybay......" 

 

"Baybay??  "

 

".....I am what you would call, a skeptic. Plenkins the skeptic. And there is no way that those eyelashes of yours are real. You must be totes lolo." 

 

"Listen PAL. I am not what you Hawaiian folk would call 'totes lolo'," Saus says in a mocking tone. "THEY'RE REAL. And if you can't see that, you must be totes blind." 

 

"Actually I'm not even Hawaiian. " 

 

Mappy decides to finally put his two cents in instead of standing there playing babble like an idiot. "Listen Saus, sorry if we offended you in any way. We've just never seen eyelashes like yours before." 

 

"WELL THEY'RE REAL. And I don't need your stupid acceptance to see that. GOOD DAY, SIRS!" Saus stormed out of In N Out. 

 

"Well she kinda went Gene Wilder on our asses...." Mappy said. "See Plenkins I told you we shouldn't have said anything! I mean, sure. I'm skeptical about it too, but that was kinda uncalled for." 

 

"I have to know......" Plenkins half-whispered. 

 

"What was that?" 

 

"I HAVE TO KNOW! Cmon Mappy lets go!" Plenkins grabs Mappy's arm as they bolt out of the restaurant. 

 

"Where the fuck are we going?!" 

 

"Following Saus! We gotta know the TRUTH!" 

[Urchees]

This is actually really funny!