Quality Control

[CDCB]

If you thought these episodes were bad, you ain't seen nothin' yet...

 

Episode 1 - "The Splinter"

 

SpongeBob, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs were standing outside the Krusty Krab performing the ceremonious Opening of the Doors Ritual that SpongeBob was so madly obsessed with when SpongeBob abruptly announced that he wanted to be the Chief Door Opener.

 

"Alright lad," said Mr. Krabs, "but I ain't payin' for CPR this time!"

 

SpongeBob screamed so gleefully that his pants ripped off. He never imagined that he would actually have the honor of opening the scared Krusty Krab Doors.

 

"By the power of Neptune," he proudly declared, "I declare these doors... open!"

 

Slowly a light broke through the darkness that once plagued the Krusty Krab and then, as if by magic, the doors to the restaurant opened. SpongeBob fainted and, much to his annoyance, Mr. Krabs revived him.

 

"Of course..." muttered Squidward.

 

The three of them went to their work stations and SpongeBob began to grill up some greasy goodness. Suddenly a piece of paper came around.

 

Here's the CPR bill.

P.S. It's coming out of yer paycheck!

Love Mr. Krabs.

 

"Oh Mr. Krabs, you're such a kidder!" laughed SpongeBob as he stupidly crumpled up the piece of paper and resumed his work. No sooner did he do that than he decided to practice his moves for the next meeting with the C.O.D.O. or, the Cult Of Door Openers. Ninja kick! Kar-ah-tay chop! Ocean wave! Man, SpongeBob had it all.

 

*SHUNK*

 

His spatula was stuck in the ceiling.

 

"Aw crab!" blurted SpongeBob.

 

"I heard that!" said Mr. Krabs.

 

"I guess I'll have to go get it..." sighed SpongeBob.

 

In about 20 minutes he pilled up crates of Mr. Krabs' money porn until they were high enough for him to reach the spatula. Unfortunately as he was climbing the crates, he got a nasty splinter in his thumb.

 

"Clammit!" he shouted.

 

"Nice vocabulary SpongeBob," Squidward said poking his head through the order window.

 

"Help me, Squidward!" cried SpongeBob. "I got this nasty splinter in my thumb and it hurts!"

 

"Why should I help you?" Squidward rudely asked.

 

"Because I'm in pain?" blubbered SpongeBob.

 

"Alright, alright," said Squidward. "Hold on a second."

 

Squidward left and went to get some "instruments" while SpongeBob's thumb grew bigger and bigger.

 

"I'm back, SpongeBob!" said Squidward.

 

"It hurts..." moaned SpongeBob.

 

"Don't worry, it'll be okay," said Squidward, promptly stepping on the splinter with his cleats. Well, the splinter changed alright, but not for the better.

 

"What the shell, Squidward?! It's bigger!"

 

"Did I do that??" said Squidward in a Steve Urkel voice.

 

"That's not funny," whimpered SpongeBob while Squidward kept up the teasing.

 

Suddenly Mr. Krabs' office door opened up.

 

"Alright, boys!" he shouted. "What's with all the teasing?"

 

"SpongeBob got a splinter!" roared Squidward, tears welling from his eyes.

 

Mr. Krabs looked stunned.

 

"...is that all?"

 

"Help me, Mr. Krabs..." moaned SpongeBob.

 

"Alright boy," mumbled Mr. Krabs as he ripped SpongeBob's arm off with one swish of his claw.

 

"OW!" screamed SpongeBob. "How is that going to he--?"

 

Instantly, a new splinterless arm grew back in its place.

 

"Hey! It's all better!" giggled SpongeBob. "Thanks Mr. Krabs!"

 

"Whatever," he indifferently replied and after a pause said, "Well, we won't be needing this anymore."

 

Mr. Krabs then threw the splintery arm aside where it crashed through a window and landed in a dumpster with Doctor Patrick.

 

"Cool! A splinter!" said the doctor. Then, when nobody was looking he put it in his mouth and began to examine it for possible infection.

 

[Young Nug]

Skodwarde: The CD Version

[So Sejima]

Skodwarde: The CD Version

make a Trophy version and I'll forget everything

[CDCB]

Episode 2 - The Krusty Plate

 

It was another late day at the Krusty Krab and SpongeBob was just about ready to go home when suddenly his boss barged into the kitchen without knocking and burdened SpongeBob with his OCD tendencies.

 

"Arrr, me boy! There be a spot on this plate, see?" said Mr. Krabs, practically shoving the plate in SpongeBob's face to make sure he saw it.

 

"So?" yawned SpongeBob, hardly giving a flying flounder.

 

"So..." said Mr. Krabs, "yer not going home until this spot is out! Understand?!"

 

"Well, I don't understand...but I'll do it!" SpongeBob complied.

 

"That's me boy!" said Mr. Krabs. He paused for a moment. "Oh, and lock the Krusty Krab up when yer done," he added as he gave SpongeBob the key.

 

"Will do, Mr. K!" squeaked SpongeBob. "Now let's see, Mr. Plate. There's a spot on you and I'm gonna get it off, see? Any questions? Good! Now let's get to work..."

 

SpongeBob scrubbed and scrubbed, but the spot wouldn't come off. As a matter of fact, the spot looked slightly bigger when he took off his rag, but he decided it probably wasn't anything to worry about. He tried using Mr. Cleanser. He tried using Dr. Clean. He tried using both of them together. Nothing worked.

 

"Tough one, eh?" thought SpongeBob. "Well, we'll just have to use even more soap this time!"

 

SpongeBob reached for the bar of soap, but unfortunately it slipped out of his hands and landed on the floor where he couldn't see it. He took one step forward and...

 

*Zoooooom!*

*BAM!*

*crash*

*Kssssssh!*

 

"Oh no..." SpongeBob gasped at the shattered pieces of what once was a plate. He picked a shard up and stared at it. "What is Mr. Krabs going to think?" he worried.

 

"What am I going to think?!" shouted Mr. Krabs, suddenly barging into the kitchen again.

 

"You know, you really should start knocking," instructed SpongeBob.

 

"Yeah, I don't give a clam!" shouted Mr. Krabs. "Where's me plate?"

 

"Umm..." stammed SpongeBob, "It's here... here... there's some over there, and a little over here... and there's this one piece in my hand..."

 

"You... broke me plate?!" gasped Mr. Krabs, fuming red with anger.

 

"...yes?" gulped SpongeBob, fearing for his life.

 

"You know what I do to employees who break me china, don't ya?" threatened Mr. Krabs.

 

"...no! No, I don't sir!" whimpered SpongeBob.

 

"Well then... you're about to find out!" said Mr. Krabs as he molded SpongeBob into a plate and threw him at the wall where he shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces.

 

"Ouch..." said a guilty SpongeBob.

 

"Now clean yerself up, boy!" barked Mr. Krabs. "Or I'm docking it out of yer pay!"

 

SpongeBob sighed.