Super Mario Bros. Z Kong

[Old Man Jenkins]

Decided to "remaster" my old attempt at an SMBZ spinoff from 3 years ago. Was going to just continue on from the original thread, but reading back through my original pilot, I realized that it was pretty shit and doesn't hold up well. I can't believe I won a contest with that thing haha. So I decided to clean the slate a bit. Refined some dialogue and action scenes, added in some better dialogue and action scenes, removed a character, added another, went a little less vague on some elements. Probably not the best remaster job, but it came out looking way better than it did previously IMO. Feel free to read the original pilot in Davy Jones' Locker if you want to compare, but my best advice would be don't lol

So yeah, this is my little "tribute act" of sorts to SMBZ, one of the first pieces of fan made Internet media that inspired me to dabble in fanfiction stuff myself. It was announced to be returning earlier this year after a four year hiatus, so it's got me pretty invested back in this. No Sonic in this whatsoever though, unfortunately. Decided to keep it more contained under the Nintendo umbrella. That, and I honestly haven't played the Sonic series enough to feel confident writing it.

Super Mario Bros. Z Kong: The Negative Zone

Plot: A sinister conspiracy threatens the well-being of both the Mushroom Kingdom and DK Isles. Old rivals must band together in order to save both their homes and their livelihoods.

Part I: Losing Luster

Our story opens up to Donkey Kong Island, the sprawling tropical home of the DK Crew, as well as the site of yet another treacherous scheme by some old enemies... 

We dive deeper into Kongo Jungle, where sinister activity is taking place, stretching out even further to Barrel Cannon Canyon. A rekonnaissance team of fledgling Kremlings are seen trying to smuggle a small fraction of the Kong's banana hoard back to their temporary base of operations located at the former lair of Very Gnawty. They're following a specialized route of barrel cannons as their main mode of transporting the payload. The heist team consists of five Kremlings in total, four males and one female. The apparent leader of the operation stalls their transport for a moment to address his minions.

General Klump: Lady and gentlemen of the newly rekonstructed Kremling Army, it is my utmost duty, as your newly minted five star general, that I-

Krumple: Excuse me, newly minted five stars? The only reason you have those four extra stars is 'kuz there's no one else above you anymore! You pretty much gave yourself those stars!

General Klump: Yes, that may be, but it takes a truly capable and strategic military mind to reorganize and rebuild what was left of King K. Rool's kingdom. So I did the only thing that his majesty would have done if he were here, and that would be to shower me with reverence and admiration for a job well done!

Kalypso: A job well done? This is barely even a quarter of the hoard you managed to take the first time, Sergeant! And you call this a Kremling "Army"? This is barely enough to even constitute a Krew, let alone a mob!

General Klump: ENOUGH UNDERMINING! It's this very same lack of faith that led to his majesty leaving us all high and dry! I'm trying to restore that faith, and maybe once that faith gets restored, his highness will take us all back! But until that day inevitably arrives, y'all just have to put up with me instead! That's a direct order!

Krusha: Long live General Klump!

Another Kremling, Kopter, suddenly descends down, landing right in the middle of all their bickering to bring them an update on their perimeter.

Kopter: General, I just caught visual of the Kongs. It looks like they are already mounting up for retaliation! I'd say they're only about 50 clicks away from our current position and they're closing that gap fast. What's your recommended course of action, sir?

Krumple: I say this is what we get for sending in Very Gnawty as a diversion. He gets beat way too easily! 

Kalypso: I say we salvage however much we can pocket and hightail it outta here. It's better than nothing. If we let those apes catch up, then that's exactly what we're gonna be left with!

General Klump: Madam Kalypso, with all due respect, I didn't bring us all out here to just take whatever we can carry in our pockets, especially when I don't even have pockets! We're taking everything, no question about it! If they want a fight, then we sure as sugar will give them just that. Until the last Kremling falls!

Kalypso: Why are we doing this? Why are putting our lives on the line all for a bunch of bananas? I mean, if they were all the golden ones, sure, I'd be the first in line to take 'em, but  these are just the regular bananas you can get at a store or from a tree on an island that's full of them!

General Klump: It's all that the king ever wanted! And what the king wants, he should get! It was his life's work to take these bananas away from the Kongs, as well as the life's work of all royal Kremlings who came before him. As grunts, it is OUR life's work to serve the king! It's in our code. Any Kremling who strays away from our grand design has no right to call themselves one should they ever refuse to serve the king!

Krusha: *wipes away tears* Kremlings!! /=@<#% YEAH!!

Krumple: Oi! We're still crocodiles at the end of the day, enough with the water works!

General Klump: And keep it E for Everyone! That's another order!

Kalypso had already taken what she could and barrel blasted out of there, leaving the others to fend for themselves.

General Klump: COWARD! 

Right as Kopter nervously clicks his mouth for the 50th time, a rhinoceros comes charging through the thick jungle brush at full force. All four of them somehow manage to jump out of the way, but Rambi the rhinoceros knocks their cart full of bananas over, spreading them out all over the place.

General Klump: Kopter, you said they were 50 klicks away!

Kopter: I did say they were 50 clicks away! Didn't you hear me giving you the countdown?

General Klump: I thought you meant kilometers, boy!

Kopter: Same things!

Donkey Kong comes swinging out of the jungle, landing a drop kick onto Krusha. The force of the kick sends him flying into Rambi, who gores him back towards Donkey's direction. Donkey catches Krusha with a Gorilla Grab and head butts the Kremling commando right into the ground, planting him in the dirt all the way up to his shoulders.

Krusha: General, I've been butted and I can't get up!

General Klump: Krusha!!

Donkey Kong: Kritters? Kremlings? You guys are even still a thing??

Krumple: For as long as the developers allow us!

Krumple looks to make his move, but he's suddenly propelled into the air against. Somebody had strapped a couple of barrel rockets to his back.

Krumple: No! The fight isn't over, IT DIDN'T EVEN BEGIIIIIN-

Krumple is sent careening into a hovering Kopter, creating a huge explosion in the air upon impact Diddy Kong somersaults from behind the cover of some nearby trees and throws a banana at General Klump, who ducks it in time.

General Klump: Ha! Misse-

The banana boomerangs back and strikes Klump in the back of the head, stunning him.

Diddy: Come on, DK! Give them at least some credit, they keep you away from the tv long enough to get a decent enough run in.

Klump leaves himself open long enough for DK to barrel roll into him, sending the general flying, but he's caught in midair by Kopter, saving the general from suffering potential further damage.

Donkey: What the heck's that supposed to mean?!

Diddy: I'm saying even that out of shape plumber gets more action than you! There's a reason we haven't seen a new game in six and a half years.

General Klump: So THAT'S why we're stuck in this fan fiction? My, how hard the shining star of the mighty Donkey Kong has fallen! What must that grandfather of your's think?

General Klump has himself a hearty laugh at DK's expense, only to be quickly interrupted by DK clapping his gargantuan hands against both of the general's cheeks, practically crushing his skull and helmet flat.

Donkey Kong: It hasn't fallen as hard as you're about to... BANANA SLAMMA!!!

Without even having to wind up, DK manages to send the dazed general flying across the entire island and out into the distant ocean, a colorful yellowish-green explosion illuminates the sky once Klump reaches a far enough distance.

Donkey: Now how was that for some action?

Diddy: It's a healthy start. About enough to get us on the 3DS, at best.

Donkey sighs at this assessment.

Donkey: What's happened to us, Diddy? We used to be top 3 at least.

Diddy: What do you mean us? I've been raring to take over the franchise for years now! You're the holdout holding all of us back-

DK slaps Diddy smack dab into the pile of bananas that the Kremlings stole with such force, that smoke came out of Diddy's back where DK made contact.

Donkey: That was me holding back.

The scene turns over to Kalypso, who is still making her escape on the planned barrel course. She is brought to an abrupt halt mid-flight when she gets caught in the air by three birds; a jay, a hawk and a crow.

Kalypso: What the- Get off me!

Her attackers each pull away at her limbs, heading in opposite directions, violently stretching her out before finally choosing to dive bomb her down to the ground in unison. An imposing figure in the shape of a Kong lands right on top of her from the tree tops. Kalypso let's out a shriek as the figure 

???: I shall liberate your ill-gotten gains, foul kreature! For I am the true champion of Bluster Kong Island!

We return to DK and Diddy, who have just finished securing all the bananas back into the cart for Rambi to haul back to the banana hoard. They embark on their journey back home when suddenly, they're blindsided by a stray explosive barrel. Rambi is blown off his feet, taking the bananas down with him. Both Donkey and Diddy are blown several feet away, but are still able to return to their feet fairly quickly despite some scratches and burns.

Donkey notices three shadows on the ground surrounding them. A puff of pink hair slowly descends to the ground in front of him. He looks up and is met with three birds diving towards him. He swings at the air in attempt to knock them away mid-flight, but they're to fast and agile for his strikes to land. Their flight patterns soon disorient him, leaving DK open for a barrage of drill pecks

Diddy manages to land a high powered shot on the hawk with one of his peanut shooters, alerting the other two birds to his presence. The blast has completely vaporized the hawk.

Kuro the Crow: You'll regret doing that!

Diddy: Come on!

The crow soars, zeroing in on Diddy and slashes at him with its claws. Diddy dodges and lands a few punches that sends the Kuro flying back. Diddy comes in hot with a chimpy charge, but Kuro counters it an air cutter.

Kaibado the Jay: Don't hold back, Kuro! 

Donkey regroups and attempts to attack Kaibado from behind.

Donkey: What the-?!

Donkey suddenly finds himself restrained within the confines of a steel keg. Another enemy must be in their midst. Kaibado turns around to see what's happened.

???: Bluster the Benevolent to the rescue!

Bluster Kong reveals himself, jumping from some tree tops. He loses his footing upon touching down and falls flat on his back. He scrambles to get back up.

Bluster: Yes, all apart of the plan!

Kaibado: (And he's supposed to be a Kong...? He must've been dropped like that as a kid.)

Donkey: Bluster? Aren't you a meme that's supposed to be dead??

Bluster: On the contrary, my old friend, it's what's been keeping me fed in the wake of mummy's untimely demise.

Donkey: I'm sorry to hear that...she was a good kong.

Bluster: GOOD?! That old hag had a lot of nerve to cut me out of her will! She outright stripped me of MY rightful inheritance! "Good" is far from the first word I'd use to eulogize her! I would say it here, but you're quite familiar with Nintendo's squeaky clean image.

Donkey: I can tell that this keg is your handiwork, Bluster. Just what's your game here?

Bluster: Oh, why you have peeled back the layers of that banana with just that one sentence. This is my game. You had your opportunities and you went and squandered all of it. A little birdie told me that it was high time for a repackaging and I just couldn't help but agree! No longer shall I remain resigned to the confines of some mediocre computer animated cartoon from back in the 90's.

Donkey: You had some seriously out there delusions of grandeur back in your day, Bluster, but this just might be your most deluded yet.

Bluster: Well those delusions are going to become reality whether you like it or not!

Bluster clocks DK's exposed face right in the jaw. Bluster grabs his hand, trying his best to conceal his pain as he squeezes and cracks his fist.

Bluster: OOOOFFFwhy, that was most invigorating!

DK rolls around helplessly on the ground, stopping at the feet of Kaibado.

Bluster: I can see why you constantly indulge yourself in such savagery! I must admit, I never really saw the appeal. I mean, why would I push myself through the burden of having to break a sweat in order to break a few teeth when I could just get mummy to hire some dumb muscle to do it for me? It hasn't been until right this very moment, me standing over you, dominant as I've ever been, that I finally see the benefits of getting one's own hands dirty. If only I had invested in it sooner! Why, Funky could've been made completely obsolete! Tropical Freeze could've seen a re-release that was carried entirely on MY back. And dare I say, you could've complemented me quite well as my echo fighter!

Donkey: You'd be lucky to even be made a mii costume.

Bluster: Alas, I don't deal in what-ifs; the "shouldas", "couldas", and "wouldas" in life. No, I deal only in absolutes; substantive info based on realistic scenarios. Which means that I am absolutely, without a doubt, taking this franchise over! Right! Now!

Bluster leaps onto DK, landing all his weight on the keg that encompasses his lifelong nemesis. Bluster really goes ham with a flurry of hard rights and lefts on the prone and defenseless DK, who can't even raise up his arms to block the shots. Diddy is still preoccupied with Kuro, who isn't giving him an opportunity to make the assist thanks to his spamming of whirlwind.

Kaibado: WHAT THE-?!

Kaibado takes to the air, just barely avoiding the rampaging force known as Rambi the Rhinoceros, who then gores Bluster right off of DK. Bluster lands hard on the ground, holding his ribs.

Bluster: I wasn't prepared for this!

Rambi gores into him again, picking Bluster off the ground by his horn and ramming him straight into a nearby tree. Kaibado blasts some eggs over Rambi's way, inciting the ride animal even more. Kaibado floats over Rambi again, fooling the rhinoceros to gore the steel keg that DK is stuck in instead. The keg is sent flying right into a distracted Kuro and crushes the crow, which immediately brings down Kaibado's brief moment of triumph.

Finally free of Kuro's onslaught, Diddy brandishes both peanut shooters and hops on DK's steel keg, rolling it with his feet in order to get around. Diddy rolls their way over to Kaibado, exchanging fire with egg and peanut shells flying everywhere. Both combatants get hit with shrapnel. Diddy blindly rolls the keg towards Bluster. Who is just getting back to his feet.

Bluster: Wha- NOOOOOOO

Instead of moving out of the way, Bluster stays in place long enough to get steamrolled over.

Meanwhile, an incapacitated Kaibado is about to get gored by Rambi when Kuro swoops in and takes him out with a Brave Bird. It's enough for to finally take the rhino out of the equation, but the attack appears to have done a huge number on Kuro, as well. Kaibado notices what his colleague did and flutters to his side.

Kuro: S-So much for...making it all the way to the c-c-credits for once, huh?

Kaibado: What matters is making it to the dance, and as far as I'm concerned, THIS was the dance.

Kuro: D-Don't try and sugarcoat things for me...I can tell a regular boss fight from a final one

Kaibado: This isn't on you, Kuro. That pathetic excuse for a kong couldn't even pull his own weight!

Kuro: Make s-something of this Kaibado...don't let it all be...for...nothing...

Kuro despawns from this life.

Kaibado: This WON'T be for nothing...

Diddy falls off the keg and hastily removes it from DK.

Donkey: Thanks Diddy.

Diddy: You owe me another racing game after this one.

Donkey: I'll try getting in touch with my people. But now, we just have to-

Kaibado swoops in and cinches his claws deep into Diddy's shoulders before carrying him up into the air.

Donkey: DIDDY!

Diddy shrieks in pain as Kaibado manhandles him at breakneck speeds. Diddy tries to make use of his popguns, but he doesn't have the strength to even raise them. An ominous aura radiates from Kaibado. DK brandishes his coconut hand cannon a d tries to get a clear shot, but Kaibado brings Diddy in closer each time he tries. Bluster scrapes himself off the ground and sees his chance to strike, he pulls a purple mushroom from one of his cuffs and throws it at Donkey. The poison mushroom quickly takes affect upon contact, causing Donkey Kong to shrink and cutting his strength down drastically.

The weight of the coconut cannon causes DK to collapse. Thinking fast Diddy, drops one of his popguns. DK notices and darts towards it, but is unceremoniously cut off by Bluster who manages to reach it at the same time. Bluster miraculously manages to wrestle it out of DK's grasp, proving the effectiveness of the poison mushroom. Bluster pops off a low power shot at DK point blank, sending the weakened champion of Kong Island flying back from the impact.

Bluster: Such a helpful little thing, this contraption. If this is Funky's work, then he has really outdone himself! So simple in concept, yet so excellent in execution! I've obviously wasted my company's precious time and resources by not getting myself a piece of this pie sooner.

Bluster backhands DK toward a conveniently placed pile of explosive barrels.

Bluster: My apologies for such an improper sendoff, but I just plain don't like you.

Donkey: This isn't game over yet, Bluster. Far from it.

Bluster: Then allow me to graciously close that gap.

With one hand courteously placed behind his back, Bluster fires off one last shot from a safe distance, setting off the explosives. However, the energy of the blast still reached far enough to scorch off Bluster's mustache and toupee. 

Bluster: Curse you, Donkey Kong! Even in game over, you still find a way to spite me!

Bluster throws the popgun down on the ground in anger, breaking it. He then notices DK's discarded coconut cannon and picks it up for himself.

Bluster: Now THIS is a weapon worthy of a true top banana! Though it screams a little too Donkey Dookie and not enough Bluster Luster. I shall have that changed soon enough.

Bluster prepares a barrel cannon as Kaibado drops Diddy down hard, bouncing off the ground upon landing. The mysterious aura that surrounded Kaibado has receded.

Kaibado: We have to get a message out to the old fut.

Bluster: Not to worry! This shall get our point across just nicely.

Bluster calculates and carefully aims the barrel cannon in the direction of the Kong's home. Bluster proceeds to toss Diddy into the cannon like garbage, watching as it swings back and blasts the young kong out into the distance.

Bluster: Perhaps a bit too nicely. But, onto the next order of business. Should this kretin suffice?

Bluster points down at Krusha, who is still buried up to his head in dirt.

Kaibado: We'll just have to find out once we get him there.

Krusha: ....

Cranky Kong is then seen tinkering with some new ability potions in his lab when he hears a loud crash coming from his cabin next door.

Cranky: What the devil?!

Cranky heads out to investigate, quickly discovering a smoldering hole through the roof of his cabin.

Cranky: What's the meaning of this?! There shouldn't be any environmental destruction physics here! I strictly forbade it!

Cranky races inside his cabin to find Diddy sprawled out in the middle of it, with a Diddy-sized crater beneath him.

Cranky: Idiot! You upstart gaming mascots can't even complete a simple adventure without getting sent right back to the start! Back in my day, I-

Cranky notices a piece of paper sticking out from Diddy's cap. He picks it up and unfolds it before reading its contents.

"3 - 2 = 1"

Cranky: (NO! How can it be..? I thought we fixed that mistake years ago...)

Meanwhile, on the outskirts of Peach's Castle...an army of armor makes their approach.

[Old Man Jenkins]

Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about this. I've officially gotten this farther than the first time!

 

Part 2: First Line of Defense

The episode inside the hallowed halls of Peach's Castle, where the princess and her loyal toad subjects are working tirelessly on a royal banquet that the castle will be hosting.

Peach: I oh so hope that this banquet will manage to go off without a hitch.

Toadsworth: I'm not so sure about that, my princess. Do you really think it to be wise that we also extend an invitation to Bowser?? I mean, after everything he has done not just to this kingdom, but to you personally??

Peach: He is the Koopa King after all, Toadsworth, and every royal family with a castle to their name are all slated to attend. Acknowledging him just once could go a long way towards finally achieving long term peace between our kingdoms. And personally, I have grown oh so tired of all this ill will between the Mushroom and Koopa Kingdoms. If there's anything I can do to quell such tensions, I certainly must put some effort in to at least try.

Toadsworth: How very diplomatic of you, Princess! I am so joyed to see you taking such careful steps to insuring the peace and sanctity of all the lands!

???: Well, she had to learn it from someone!

A green colored toad with a black mustache walks into the ballroom that they are in. This particular toad is adorned in a green royal robe with golden trims.

Toadsworth: The Chancellor?!

Toadsworth bows out of respect for The Chancellor.

The Chancellor: Oh, enough formalities, Toadsworth! I certainly wouldn't have learned all that I know without your guidance, as well!

Toadsworth: You give me too much credit, sir!

The Chancellor: Not enough, I say! Not nearly enough, my old friend. Princess Peach, you are looking absolutely radiant as always!

Peach: You flatter me, Chancellor, but my design honestly hasn't changed too much in years.

The Chancellor: It's certainly more than I can say about myself! Look at me, still wearing these drab old things.

Peach: Then I'll put it in a special word for you with my top designers!

The Chancellor: Oh perish the thought (at least for now anyway). Today is about making sure we bring these kingdoms together!

Peach: I do need to check on how the food preparations are going. If I may please be excused.

Toadsworth: We should be requesting that of you, princess.

Peach: Well, by all means, I hereby excuse you both!

Peach walks herself over to the royal kitchen, leaving Toadsworth with The Chancellor.

Toadsworth: How exactly do YOU feel about this, Chancellor?

The Chancellor: I feel it will be a rousing success!

Toadsworth: That's very optimistic, sir, but specifically, I mean how do you feel about King Koopa's upcoming appearance at this little soirée?

The Chancellor: I know the kingdom's feelings about him are rather mixed, at best, but there are worse things out there.

Toadsworth: Things that mostly HE orchestrates.

The Chancellor: To be quite honest with you, inviting him would be far from the first thing on my agenda, but if Princess Toadstool personally feels that there is something to salvage here, well, she would be the one to know about salvaging things.

Toadsworth: I suppose you've got a point there.

The Chancellor: And then, again, who are we to doubt her highness' intuition?

Toadsworth: I didn't mean to undermine her in any way, I'm just so worried about letting the enemy into our gates.

The Chancellor: Like I said, there are certainly worse things out there.

Toadsworth: Even worse than Bowser, of all people??

The Chancellor: You'd be surprised, my friend.

Toad comes running in, trying to catch his breath.

Toad: Sirs, his royal highness has arrived! And he's brought guests with him!

Toadsworth: King Toadstool?! He's here already?!

The Chancellor: Inform the princess right away. We best not to keep him waiting!

Toadsworth heads off to collect the princess while The Chancellor heads out to meet with the king. Toadsworth finds Peach still in the kitchen, overseeing all the cooking and baking.

Tayce T.: Oh where is that boyfriend of yours with those ingredients? We'll be down a few entrees if he isn't back with them soon.

Peach: I told you, he's not my boyfriend! Err, per se...

Tayce T.: Well whatever he is, do use that power you hold over him to pick up the pace.

Peach: Right. I'll go ahead and do just that.

Toadsworth: Princess Toadstool, the king has arrived! And he's brought guests!

Peach: Father is here already?? We're not even close being ready yet...

Toadsworth: It's best not to keep him waiting, princess! Not even for you!

Peach: Right. Tayce T., I'll be sure to check back in with you when Mario returns with those ingredients.

Tayce T.: I'll hold out for as long as I can.

Peach follows Toadworth out to the castle's menagerie, where her subjects are all lines up to greet his royal majesty. She heads up the line with Toadsworth and The Chancellor on each side.

Peach: Father, you've arrived!

King Toadstool: Indeed, I have! I'm so very happy to finally see you, my daughter! It looks like you've carved yourself a nice little slice of life out here! I am beyond impressed!

Peach: Such praise means the absolute world to me, father!

King Toadstool: And look who I picked up along the way! It's those two commoners you always associate our royal name with! "Malleo" and "Weegee", was it?

Peach: It's "Mario" and "Luigi", dad.

King Toadstool: Nevertheless, I came across them lifting some heavy bags. Figured I'd lend them a royal hand!

Peach: How very charitable of you, father! My top chef, Tayce T. will be glad to hear that her ingredients have finally arrived

King Toadstool is suddenly sent flying towards the castle walls, being driven face first right into rock hard exterior. The dust settles to show that the force was enough to make a sizable hole through it.

Peach: FATHER?!

Toadsworth: HIS MAJESTY!??!

The Chancellor: Show us your real colors you abhorrent riffraffs!

Mario and Luigi step forward from the king's royal caravan.

Peach: You're not Mario or Luigi!

???: I guess the apple fell farther from the tree than I thought!

Mario and Luigi remove their clothes to reveal Wario and Waluigi in their underwear.

Wario & Waluigi: WA-HA- Huh!

They remove their underwear to reveal their signature attires underneath.

Wario & Waluigi: WA-HAAA!!

Peach gasps as if she's really shocked.

A few toads tend to the king, struggling to pry him from the castle wall.

The Chancellor and Toadsworth are both pretty shaken up, but The Chancellor is the first to step up and try to reprimand the two.

The Chancellor: What do you two hooligans want?!

Wario: We heard that royals from all over are gathering right here for a little party. And a bunch of stuck-up royals partying can only mean one thing; gifts beyond our wildest imaginations, all ready to be plundered!

Waluigi: Personally, speaking for myself here, a bunch of stuck-up royals meeting in one spot can only mean a bunch of defenseless castles all waiting for us to walk right in unopposed.

Wario smacks Waluigi upside the head.

Waluigi: Waahhhh, but this works out for us just as well!

Wario: So we'll go ahead have our pickin's NOW!

Peach: The other royal family's have yet to even arrive and YOU have already blown your cover. Not that it was much cover to begin with. You two have potential to be something worthwhile, but you constantly undermine yourselves with your complete and utter lack of tact. It's no wonder why neither of you have had any meaningful role in years.

Waluigi: Meaningful?! I'll show you meaningful!

Waluigi pounces at her with all his leg strength, but he's cut off by the time interception of a stray spear thrown by one of Peach's royal guards.

Waluigi: WAAAHHH?!

The lone mustachioed toad jumps in and catches Waluigi by surprise, punching him right back to his brother's side.

Toadster: How dare you disrespect their majesties.

Toadster leaps forward and collects his spear, holding at the ready for retaliation.

Toadster: My name is Toadster, and I will defend the princess to my last breath! For too long have you villains had your way with our kingdom and its inhabitants! Today I make my stand.

Waluigi gets back up to his feet and readies himself for another charge, but Wario stops him and steps up in his stead.

Wario: You wanna go?

Wario cracks his knuckles.

Wario: Letsa go!!

Toadster lets out a battle cry before charging at Wario full-speed. He keeps his sharpened spear outstretched, ready and willing to pierce it through the big man. Wario opens his mouth up wide and catches the spear tip between his jaws. Toadster attempts to free it, but there was no breaking Wario's mandible grip. Wario proceeds to chomp down on the spear, crunching the entirety of it with just his teeth before spitting it back out towards Toadster, who ducks it in time.

However, this brief distraction is enough for Wario to take advantage and charge at the toad with a full-power shoulder tackle. Toadster is sent flying back to castle gates from the impact. The other toads rally him on to help him back to his feet. Toadster holds his arm and tries to catch his breath.

Toadsworth: Toadster!

Toadsworth uses his cane to conjure up a ? Block right above Toadster.

Toadsworth: This should prove useful!

Wario: NO YOU DON'T!

Wario charges at Toadster to prevent him from making use of the block, but Toadster jumps him with a well timed stomp , which gives him the boost to pound the block and grab the fire flower that's inside. It powers Toadster up into Fire Toadster

Waluigi: Watch out!

Toadster lets loose throwing all the fireballs he can at Wario, who desperately tries to evade them as best he could.

Wario: Damn flower power! Couldn't come up with anything more original?!

Toadster really goes all out, pelting Wario with an endless barrage of fireballs. Wario keeps his guard up for as long as he can but is eventually overwhelmed by the sheer power of the fire flower. Toadster keeps the heat coming until finally stopping when the smoke cloud reaches the same heights as the castle itself.

Toadster has winded himself as a result of his flurry attack. The smoke and dust finally settles to reveal Wario face down on the ground, his clothes singed. Peach gasps at the sight. 

Waluigi: Br-Bro! A-Are you-

Wario's body suddenly passes large amounts of gas into the air, shrouding the entire grounds of Peach's Castle in a green tinged haze.

Wario: Of course I'm okay, you idiot.

Wario lifts himself up to his feet, laughing as he does so.

Wario: Go ahead, kindle your embers! Flame me with all you've got! Just one little fireball and this entire place, everything, goes BOOM! And everyone along with it! Including your precious princess heheheheh...

Toadster immediate calls off the fire that he was about to summon. Toadsworth tries to think fast and conjure up another ? Block, but Waluigi uses the cover of Wario's gas to swipe his cane right out of his hands. Waluigi then kicks Toadsworth aside with ease.

Waluigi: Bro! Here!

Waluigi conjures up a ? Block of his own for his brother to take advantage of.

Wario: What do you take me for?! A charity case! I don't need no stinkin' power-up to beat no toad! You insult me with the mere thought!

Wario grabs the block out of the air and throws it away.

Wario: So say you, little toad? Care to bring this fight back down to an even playing field and risk eating defeat at my hands?!

Without much of a choice, Toadster forces himself to power back down to his regular state.

Toadster: You fight with no honor.

Wario: Says the chump using the power-ups! I don't need such outliers to win a fight.

Wario and Toadster approach one another at walking pace, meeting each other eye to eye in the middle of the courtyard.

Wario: I had intended to save this lil number for when I would next fight Mario again. I didn't think I'd ever be forced to bust out against some lowly toad. You should consider this a great honor for your kind.

Toadster: I would never.

Wario: Suit yourself!

They proceed to trade blows, each landing harder than the last. Wario does a better job at weathering the pain and is able to overcome Toadster's attacks with more of his own. Wario lands a hard chop on Toadster's collarbone, bringing the toad down to his knees. Wario takes a huge bite out of him, chomping down with all his before spitting Toadster back to the ground hard. Wario leaps into the air and lands a hard ground pound right on Toadster's spine.

Toadster screams in agony as Wario bounces his weight all on top of him. Wario finally gets off and picks Toadster back up for a devastating piledriver, driving Toadster headfirst right into the hard castle grounds. Toadster's body remains rigid as it stands upside, his head planted firmly beneath the concrete. His body eventually slumps down, bending back sickeningly at the neck.

Peach and the toads are horrified by what they just witnessed.

Wario: Pathetic!

Wario picks Toadster out of the ground and tosses him into the nearby crowd of toads who were watching the struggle, taking them all down.

Wario: Now then, as I was saying, we'll be takin' those gifts now!

All the nauseous fumes surrounding the entire castle are suddenly blown away by an unseen force, surprising Wario. A sizable army of walking armor slowly makes their approach, seemingly headed by a larger, more imposing mechanized figure. They're revealed to be the ones who have dispelled the gas, each soldier using built in fan blades to simply blow it all away.

Wario: Who do you think you are?! You're interrupting our big score here!

The larger robot steps forward.

Army's Leader: We have been sent here to seek out the one called Mario. You could say that I'm his killer.

[Old Man Jenkins]

Part 3: Siege of the Mario Slayers

Robotic Leader: We have been sent here to seek out the one called Mario. You could say that I'm his killer.

Peach: *gasps*

Wario: WAHAHAHAHA! You?! A Mario Killer?! I would say "don't make me laugh", but you went ahead and broke me anyway. Just what heck are YOU even supposed to be?!

Robotic Leader: I am Robo No. 2; superior to Robo No. 1 and built to cover up for all its weaknesses. My primary function is to find the plumber, Mario, and then, end him. My current battle power permits me to guarantee a kill with but a single touch.

Wario: I've heard tale of these so-called "killers" for years, yet the little runt is still jumpin' around breathin'. Every one of you who steps up, he puts right back down in their rightful place! If there's one thing I can't stand more than that entitled, out of shape shrimp, it's all the entitled dumpster fires like you who think they can do anything worth a damn about him. Comin' from his arch rival, I wouldn't even consider you to be so much as a competitor. So you listen here, you tin can! There's already a surefire Mario Killer developed in-house, and his name is Wario! So save that in your SD Card!

Robo No. 2: Wario. My scanners indicate that you have regressed into a mere joke character, far away from the spotlight that you once basked in and doomed to receive pity invites to Mario Parties for the remainder of your shelf life.

Waluigi: Wahaha! This thing doesn't even need a fire flower to roast ya!

Wario: Grr! You must've scanned that idiot over there instead! For such a "superior model", you seem to have a knack for making the same mistakes.

Robo No. 2: Elaborate. 

Wario: It sounds to me like you fell to Mario in a past life, so it also sounds like you can't recognize star power even when it's standing right in front of you.

Robo No. 2: If I had the capability to, this will be the part where I would laugh.

Wario: Don't worry, my next punch line will have you cracking up whether you like it or not.

Robo No. 2: I have indulged in your feeble games long enough.

Wario: Then how about you test your metal against a REAL challenge?!

Robo No. 2: So be it. I could use a practice round.

Wario: Hey princess! Since lover boy can't grace us with his presence right now, I'll do you a solid in his place. And once I'm done taking care of this problem for you, you can go ahead and gift me all your finest treasures as a reward for my service!

The Chancellor: We don't negotiate with villains such as yourself!

Waluigi: King Koops was comin' to this royal shindig, wasn't he? Talk about double standards!

Wario: No matter. Then we'll just go in and have at it ourselves!

Peach: Enough! If, and that's a big IF, you are able to neutralize this threat to my kingdom, then I give you my word, you will be compensated for your service.

The Chancellor: But your majesty, after witnessing what he did to Toadster!

Toadsworth: (I admire your concern, Chancellor, but this is a tricky situation our princess has found herself in. She has a lot riding on these peace talks with the Koopa Kingdom. A misstep here, given all these players involved, could reverberate negatively throughout all kingdoms, and the Mushroom Kingdom already has a less than notable reputation when it comes to defending ourselves. The current state that the King is in is a testament to, and poor little Toadster there sacrificed himself in a vain attempt at salvaging that reputation. He was the best of us all, yet still, he fell.)

Peach: I'm very aware of that, Chancellor, but I'm afraid this is all we can do for right now.

Toadsworth: (However, I do I trust that her majesty is biding all the time that she can until Mario returns from his fetch quest. I, myself, can only pray that he makes it back here swiftly and already raring to go. Those two hooligans are one thing, but this robot character and the army that followed it here, they're entirely new to me. Perhaps this is also an opportunity for her majesty to gage the threat level of this new "Mario Killer" by seeing how it fares against a Wario instead?)

Wario: LET'SA GO!!

Wario dashes at Robo No. 2 head on with a shoulder bash. The impact causes Robo No. 2 to stagger back a few inches. Wario's digs his feet into the ground , trying exert more pressure to push the robot back further, but Robo No. 2 won't budge anymore.

Robo No. 2: By my calculations, your initial attack had 100% of your effort put into it. How very dull. 

Wario: What the

Robo No. 2: I, on the other hand

Robo No. 2 raises one of its arms into the air and brings it down on Wario's skull with great force, enough to bury Wario almost completely underground, head first.

Waluigi: WAAAHH?!?!!

Robo No. 2: only had to output a mere 45%, which was 15% more than necessary for someone of your stature.

Waluigi: H-He must be bluffing! Wario is already physically stronger than Mario as it is!

Robo No. 2: The numbers do not lie. Or would you like to dispute it, yourself?

Waluigi: I'm good, thank you!

Robo No. 2: Now then.

Robo No. 2 menacingly paces his way towards the princess and her consorts.

Robo No. 2: The plumber, please. We don't want to make a mess of things in front of The Chancellor.

Peach: ...

Luigi: MARIO, WHERE ARE YOUUUU?!

Luigi is seen putting up a struggle against the Red and Blue Goomba Bros. nearby the Goomba Village, just barely being able to block all of their attacks in time.

Red Goomba: That color biter is here too?

Blue Goomba: Sounds good to me.

Red Goomba: Double the bounty.

Blue Goomba: Double the reward.

The Goomba Bros. charge Luigi at the same time, knocking him back with double the force.

Red Goomba: I figured you two would be smarter than to show your faces around here again.

Blue Goomba: But it seems I gave you two too much credit.

Red Goomba: I believe the king would greatly appreciate having your heads mounted on his wall.

Blue Goomba: I want his tongue...and liver.

Red Goomba: They are yours.

Luigi: *gulps*

They are charge at the downed Luigi again.

Luigi: MMMMMAAAAAAAAARIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Suddenly, a figure pounces out of a nearby and stomps on both Goomba Bros. in rapid succession.

Mario: Luigi, how are you supposed to provide a distraction for me if you shout my name at the top of your lungs?

Luigi: How am I supposed to provide a distraction if I'm dead?!

Red Goomba: Such patience.

Blue Goomba: A paragon of virtue.

Luigi: What happened to not giving him too much credit?!

Mario: Come, Luigi, letsa put an end to this.

Luigi: Gladly.

Mario & Luigi: Together!

They both charge up fire blasts simultaneously as the Goomba Bros. regain their bearings.

Mario & Luigi: HYAH!

They each fire out a red and green fireball, both hitting their intended targets. The Goomba Bros. are sent falling offscreen.

Mario: You handled yourself pretty well there, Luigi.

Luigi: You really think so?

Mario: All things considered.

Luigi: Did you get it? Did you get the Goomnut??

Mario: Did I get the Goomnut, of course I got the

Mario takes off his hat and rummages through it, but finds nothing.

Mario: Err, did you remember to bring the hammer?

Luigi searches his pockets and pulls one out.

Luigi: OH YEAH!

Luigi hands Mario the hammer when suddenly

Peach: MAAAARIIIIOOOO!!

This startles Mario, causing him to drop the hammer on Luigi's foot.

Mario: Huh? Peach?!

Mario picks the hammer back up and makes a mad dash towards the castle, with Luigi hopping along behind him holding his injured foot.

Next part will be posted on February 12th!