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dmandagiraffe

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    SBC What If's

    in SpongeBob's Library

    Posted

    Picture, if you will, the Bikini Bottom as we know it. A metropolis just beneath the ocean's surface, teeming with undersea life. But what if I told you there is a timeline where one of its residents may as well have never existed? A world where a certain rodent was brutally killed in a car accident before she could ever arrive (or maybe she was hit in the face with acid, I don't know)? If you want to take a peek into this twisted dimension, look no further than...The Shitpost Zon- erm, I mean, What If...?

    Episode 2: What If…Sandy Cheeks Died as a Child?

    Without the invention of Sandy Cheeks' water helmets, it's very unlikely that SpongeBob, Patrick, and every other undersea creature would ever be able to survive in oxygen-filled environments at all. They would forever be confined to the ocean, never feeling the desire to explore what is beyond their underwater sky. Additionally, the Bikini Bottom residents would never have a land creature as a punching bag to make fun of, therefore making them slightly more racist among themselves. And by "slightly", I mean "a lot". During a rehearsal for the Bubble Bowl, instead of a small fight breaking out between Harold and Mr. Krabs, it turns into an all out riot. The damages to the town are immense, and every crab in Bikini Bottom is unjustly forced to move above water, thereby causing the closure of the Krusty Krab. Years pass by, and the entire population now has to deal with the consequences of their actions and eat at the Chum Bucket, while SpongeBob lacks any purpose in life and becomes a soulless husk of his former self. In an attempt to rejuvenate the economy, the rest of Bikini Bottom ventures to the surface to make amends with the crabs, but unfortunately they only last for minutes on land before they pass out from heat exhaustion, never reaching their former crustacean associates at all. Ultimately, SpongeBob is left alone. He never sees anyone else for the rest of his life, but he doesn't notice nor does he care. He is lifeless.

    This is sonicjordan's SpongeBob SquarePants. A city in ruins with its only sign of life not even having life to begin with. Why does he want Sandy dead so bad? Would anyone watch this show? I mean I would, but that isn't relevant. The existence of Sandy is vital to the rest of the show, and his failure to realize this has resulted in the darkest possible outcome for Bikini Bottom. So, to answer the question on everyone's mind: Is sonicjordan stupid? 

    No. He is Texas.

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