dmandagiraffe

April 3

Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", dman talked about an episode of a show that he expected to not care for, but surprisingly found it to be a decent time. And once again, today's show is as much a mystery as the last...

#56: Craig of the Creek "Itch to Explore"

[March 30, 2018]

Okay, we're now at a late enough point in CN's history where I can say that I haven't seen some of these shows on television at all. With shows like OK K.O. or Apple & Onion, I may not have watched them regularly but I remember seeing bits and pieces of them airing. Craig of the Creek is a show that I don't remember seeing air once, although that's less out of a lack of airtime and more that I was growing out of CN by this point. So yet again, we have a show that I'm going in blind on. Joy. I've heard some positive things about this one though, but I've also heard it takes some time to get going. I really have no clue what's in store for me with this one, so I'm just going to start watching and see what happens. Let's go exploring, shall we?

The episode begins with Craig planning to draw the most comprehensive map of the creek that he can. Just one problem- there's no place in his house for him to do it. His brother kicks him out of the dining room so he can work on a report with his classmate, his sister annoys him out of the TV room, and his father in the (I assume) basement is working out too intensely for Craig to get any work done. As a result, he moves his materials outside to the creek. There, he meets up with his friends Kelsey and J.P., and they observe his progress so far. J.P. notes an unmapped spot on Craig's map, but it's in the dead center of Poison Ivy Grove...yikes. So the group acquires some supplies (trash bags and tape as armor, lotion just in case) for protection against the ivy, and after using some fishing line to mark where they entered the grove, they set off. Right away J.P. gets distracted and ends up tangled in some branches, but his friends free him and no damage is done...for now. This is far from the end of their troubles; once they are a good distance into the grove the fishing line mysteriously snaps, leaving only the map to help them find their way back. Worse, the group begins to hear strange sounds before a log comes swinging toward them. After a narrow dodge Craig and Kelsey come out unscathed, but the trash bag covering J.P.'s chest now has a sizeable tear. The two rush him out to the creek to apply some lotion to his quickly forming rash, only to discover that it is missing. Upon seeing footprints in the dirt leading back to the ivy, they assume that someone- or something- has stolen it. Suddenly, an unseen creature begins chasing them through the ivy. The group climbs into the trees to run, causing a lot of damage to their armor and effectively trapping them. In an act of self-sacrifice, Craig decides to jump down to get help, while exposing himself to the ivy. However, he bounces right back up to the tree, revealing there to be a trampoline in the center of Poison Ivy Grove. They have fun for a bit, before the creature chasing them is shown to be a young boy who, somehow, is immune to poison ivy. He explains to the group how this is the only place he has to himself, hence why he tries so hard to protect it from outsiders. Craig relates to him on this, and just as the boy reluctantly allows them to show the public his secret place, Craig decides to leave the spot on the map unmarked, much to the boy's delight. Since the group can't leave the grove by walking, the boy decides to help them get home via some high bounces on the trampoline. The group then lands back in the neighborhood, completing their mission and giving them minor injuries from their fall. The end.

It's not that high a bar, but so far this is my favorite of the shows I've covered since the revival of this thread. The sense of adventure and danger throughout the episode was pretty captivating, and the chemistry that our three main characters have was a success I'd say. There looks to be a lot to find in this world, and I'm all for discovering more. There are a few drawbacks for me, though. Firstly, there wasn't that much comedy-wise here. Some of the line delivery bordered on that, but nothing pushed me over the edge. And secondly, the show feels just a bit too milquetoast. It reminds me of some episodes of Clarence in particular, except that show had a special brand of weirdness to it that made it fun to watch. Craig of the Creek feels like the average slice-of-life show, at least from this first episode. That's not a terrible thing, it's just that a cartoon like this is gonna have to provide me with something else to keep me invested long-term. Maybe that'll happen in the later episodes? I wouldn't be against finding out. Also shoutout to the concept of this episode being about mapmaking; anyone who's seen me on SpongeCraft knows that I have a lot of fun with that.

THE BOTTOM LINE: If you want an adventure that's fun (albeit nothing new); check this one out. I'll be sure to return to it after my bones heal.

RATING: 7 (leaning toward a 7.5)/10 (decent)

Once again it's your time to shine, Wheel of Names! Maybe consider giving me a less recent show this time around?

Spoiler

...sure, that works.

Stay tuned for dman's next talk-about.

April 1

Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", dman talked about an episode of a show that he was mixed on before ultimately finding it passable. Will today's show be an improvement?

#45: Ben 10: Omniverse "The More Things Change, Part 1"

[August 1, 2012]

Whoa. That's the same airdate as the last show I covered, but five years before. What a coincidence! Anways, Ben 10. I remember watching the original from 2005 a lot as a kid, before tuning out a little more with each new series. By the time we got to this one I already had stopped giving it my attention, but the new art style they went with felt too off for me to even give it a watch (which will be funny in hindsight once we get to 2016). Since this is a very plot-driven show, I had to seek out the help of Wikipedia for parts of this one. Let's see what this omniverse has to offer.

The episode begins with an 11-year old Ben (as Four Arms) fighting off Malware (not like on a computer, that's the name of the...whatever, you get it). Eventually, Malware manages to disable the Omnitrix, turning Ben back to his human form. However, it's only temporary, so Ben is quickly able to turn into another alien (Feeback). This allows him to overpower Malware, before we flash foward to five years in the future. Ben, cousin Gwen, and friend Kevin are chasing down Zombozo (the name leads me to assume they're a zombie-clown hybrid), a villain stealing brains from a brain bank (okay, definitely a zombie at least). He looks like he's about to escape until Ben (as Lodestar) and Kevin work together to defeat him. A little later in the day, it's revealed that Gwen is splitting off the team to further her education, and Kevin is also moving to the area she will be near, leaving Ben to go solo. He is confident that he can hold his own, though Zombozo tries to plant doubts in his head. Afterwards, Ben heads into a secret base to meet up with Max, his grandfather. He tries to share something important with Ben, but they are interrupted by an alarm, warning them of something happening on the surface. Against Grandpa Max's judgement, Ben decides to investigate the problem alone. He discovers a destroyed building, and unbeknownst to him a bounty hunter, Khyber, is watching from inside the wreckage. We see him attaching a device to Zed, his dog-like pet. The device in question is the Nemetrix (basically a bootleg Omnitrix, but it gives the bearer similar transformation power). We see this in full effect as Zed becomes a different alien (Crabdozer), gaining Ben's attention. Ben responds by attempting to turn into Humungousaur, but the Omnitrix fails and he becomes Spidermonkey instead. Not the best choice for this fight...

Zed is easily able to overpower Ben, but right as it looks like the fight will end Khyber calls Zed back, having seen what he needs to see. After returning to human form Ben then meets Pakmar, an alien hiding in a toilet among the wreckage. He believes his toilet emporium was destroyed by criminal aliens who force shopkeepers to pay them for "protection" (and if not...watch out). Intrigued, Ben goes to Mr. Baumann's shop to question him about this, and he offers to blend in so he can observe/stop the criminal aliens. Initially Mr. Baumann wants nothing to do with this (as Ben always ends up wrecking his shop), but he reluctantly agrees. Unfortunately, Ben transforms into the bulky Cannonbolt and immediately damages the shop in various ways. The criminals arrive shortly after and plant a bomb in the shop, which is when Ben decides to interfere. They fight for a while, and one of the criminals sets the bomb to go off. Ben tries to stop it, but he reverts back to human right before he crashes into it. Out of nowhere, an alien who was hiding amonst the shopgoers comes out of the shadows to fight the criminals. He reveals himself to be Rook Blanko, a new partner that Max sent for Ben. Ben still believes he can work alone, so he turns into a new alien (Bloxx (he's made of legos AHAHAHAHA)) to stop the criminals...but at the same time asks Rook to disable the forcefield protecting the bomb. Unfortunately, the shield's code is too complex to break in time, so they resort to hurling the bomb away from the populous. The explosion's crater reveals an underground city, which the criminals run into leaving human Ben and Rook to chase after them. On the surface, Khyber and Zed appear again and Zed follows the group into the crater, leaving us on a cliffhanger for part 2.

It's been a while since I watched any action shows, but this helped scratch that itch. That being said, compared to the original episodes I don't think this has the same charm to it, and that's likely going to be a theme that holds with most of Ben 10's continuation series. On the other hand, the action here was as captivating as ever and fun to watch. And that's not to say that the action was the only redeeming quality, some of the comedy here works too (shoutout to Rook's responses to "don't mention it" and "call me Ben, dude"). I might even watch the next part of this to see how it ties the first part up, but I don't know if I'm going to touch the rest of the series at this point in time. To reiterate, I'd be much more willing to go back to the older episodes, but that's not to take away this series's strengths. Maybe I was too quick as a kid to dismiss this one, I enjoyed it.

THE BOTTOM LINE: It may be the fourth series in a pretty drawn out franchise, but it still manages to do well at what it has historically done best.

RATING: 7/10 (decent)

What do you think, Wheel of Names? Wanna give me another Ben 10 like Wheel Decide did back on SBM?

Spoiler

You really like bunching shows that are near to each other, huh?

Stay tuned for dman's next talk-about.

March 30

Thanks for the request, @King Zaid!

Anyways I'm surprised the idea of making a list like this hasn't popped in my head sooner. As the person who first brought Jackbox to SBC, I find my duty to compile a list of my favorite games in the series only fitting. There's a lot of great games to choose from, but somehow I was able to narrow it down to 10. Let's steer clear of Pack 10 and Naughty Pack to check out the best of the best!

DMAN'S top 10 Jackbox games (predict Lie Swatter's placement!)

Spoiler

10. Survive the Internet
Partyboy7 takes us on a wild ride through the best and worst of the internet in this game. I love the concept of taking responses to other questions out of context, it makes this one fun and unique. I only wish it would show the original responses after the twists so that it hits more, but whatever. This one's still great.

Spoiler

9. Joke Boat
A lot of people are mixed on this one, but I find it hilarious. Oftentimes it's not really a game to put effort into; the stupider the jokes are, the more I'll laugh at them and the more I'll be likely to vote them. The catchphrase screens are just the icing on the cake.

Spoiler

8. Tee K.O.
I suck at drawing, but thankfully you don't need to be good at art to win this game. All you really need is a good combination of drawing and slogan. It sucks when you don't even get that, but it's made up for when you see everyone else's shirts. Lots of potential for laughs here.

Spoiler

7. Blather 'Round
The best Jackbox game to shitpost in. Whenever I can't figure out the prompt I can still find enjoyment in typing whatever comes to mind and hearing the TTS voices try to pronounce it. It's stupid, it's pointless, it's a ton of fun. Airport. Zaddy. 7? 7? 7?

Spoiler

6. Roomerang
This is the kind of game I was waiting for out of Jackbox; REALITY TV! The eliminations (while not permanent) make this one super fun, giving every contestant one last chance to flip off the other players if they so desire. I wish we got to play this one more often.

Spoiler

5. Split the Room
Mayonnaise. Need I say more? I guess so. Coming up with ridiculous scenarios is such a good time. Sometimes I don't even care if mine don't split the room, because just putting the scenario in front of everyone to see is fun enough as is. Also, Mayonnaise.

Spoiler

4. You Don't Know Jack
Trivia is fun! Especially when it's trivia centered around pop culture where you have to put some work in to make sense of what the questions actually want out of you. Looking at you, gibberish questions. Also I am part of the Cookie gang. Cookie is way better than Schmitty will ever be.

Spoiler

3. Job Job
Out of the way Mayonnaise, M. Bubs is the best Jackbox host. Oh yeah, and the game's amazing too. You can make just about whatever sentences you want here. Type a long, rambling, incoherent passage, or just type one word! The potential is nearly endless! I crave a Job Job!

Spoiler

2. Quiplash
Despite the presence of Schmitty, this is consistently one of the most fun games to play. The prompts are fun to work with, every sequel brings something new to the table, and it manages to work every time. There's a reason why this is one of the most lauded games in the series, it's always hilarious.

I was going to put some honorable mentions in the next tab, but only Fibbage and Drawful came close. You know what, throw Dodo Re Mi in there as well; that's one thing I'll admit Pack 10 did well.

Spoiler

1. Trivia Murder Party
Maybe [redacted] is the best Jackbox host, IDK. Depends on if we ever get to see him. Anyways, I love everything in this one. Thanks to the awesome minigames you don't even need to be great at trivia to get to the end, though it certainly does help in the final round. Trivia Murder Party 3 when?

Spoiler

0. Word Spud
No Lie Swatter for you. Only Word Spud.

Spoiler

-1. Monkey Game
Monkey, monkey monkey? Monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey. Monkey. Monkey? Monkey, monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey. Monkey monkey, monkey monkey monkey!

Spoiler

-2. I FUCKING HATE YOU
FUCK THE WHEEL THE WHEEL DESERVES DEATH EVERY SINGLE WHEEL I'VE EVER MET IS A FUCKER THE WHEEL

Spoiler

-3. Lie Swatter
Just kidding, here it is.

March 28

Wait, we're doing this for real? Alright, dope! Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", this thread was given a new life when dman talked about the episode "A New Life" from that show about sentient food (no, not the orange one, it doesn't exist), and he found it pretty alright. And today's series is just as much a toss-up as that one...

#54: OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes "Let's Be Heroes"

[August 1, 2017]

I remember back when the "Lakewood Plaza Turbo" pilot was new, and pretty much everyone I saw who talked about animation online expressed a desire to see it be made into a series. As for me, I never watched that pilot. But I won't deny that it looked pretty intriguing, especially with the artstyle they chose. Then lo and behold, four years later it was greenlit as a television series, and I barely watched any of it. All I remember is my brother and me getting partway through an episode before ultimately deciding the show wasn't for us. But it's been almost eight years since then, maybe my outlook on this one will have changed. OK K.O., let's give your show another shot.

The episode begins with K.O. and his mother Carol driving to her workplace, as K.O.'s babysitter is fighting the flu (literally). As they drive there, K.O. is looking through a binder of trading cards, or "hero cards", that contain the likenesses of the residents in their town, and we get a glimpse of the fantastical world the show takes place in. There's a lot to see!...really. K.O. dreams of becoming a hero himself one day, although he still has some ways to go before reaching that point. Right on cue we are introduced to Mr. Gar, a high-level hero and the manager of the plaza's bodega. It's implied that he and Carol have history together, but for now it isn't touched on and instead she and her son head to her fitness class. K.O. turns out to be a distraction to Carol's class, so she gives him some errands to run, leading him to Gar's Bodega.

On his way there, he recognizes several heroes from his card collection walking about. This hypes him up upon entering the bodega, where he messes around with various hero gear, making a mess in the process. This leads to K.O. meeting Radicles (aka Rad), an alien who works at the bodega and has quite a high opinion of himself. As K.O. goes in line to checkout, he also meets Enid, the bodega's unenthused cashier. That being said, K.O.'s polar opposite attitude brightens her up, if only a little.

As K.O. walks outside with his new gear, a robot, Darrell, drops from the sky and begins wrecking havoc across the plaza. We learn that "Boxman" sent this robot, and that sending robots to destroy the plaza is a common occurence for them. Against Rad and Enid's judgement, K.O. is confident enough to take on Darrell by himself. Surprisingly he almost manages to win, before unsurprisingly he is woken up by a bystander. K.O. is told that he was immediately KO'd (couldn't resist), meaning most of the fight he had was a dream. As Rad and Enid hold Darrell off, Gar drops from the sky and finally defeats him. Awestruck and humbled, K.O. vows to learn how to become a hero by working at Gar's Bodega. The end.

Welp, so far this is the most torn I've been over a show I've talked about in this thread. There are elements I liked here; the line delivery of "DO YOU HAVE ANY GUM?" was funny, I can relate to working in customer service, and there are other good jokes scattered throughout. That said, my big issue is that this show moves at such a breakneck pace that I barely get to appreciate any of it. Every time one thing ends, it immediately leads to another. There's practically no place to rest throughout the entire episode and it ends up feeling much longer than 11 minutes for me. Maybe since this is the start of the series it'll settle itself out in the next few episodes, I don't know. I might find out for myself, but as for this episode, I'll have to keep my opinion from years ago that it's not really my thing. Honestly, my favorite part didn't even have to do with the episode itself: as a logo nerd I found it cool how the variant of the CN Studios logo for this show is an homage to the Hanna-Barbera logo from the mid-90s. Very nice.

[Sidenote: I watched the second episode after this just to be sure of my opinion, since I realized this was a two-part premiere. I did like it more than the first episode, but not enough to impact my rating or thoughts.]

THE BOTTOM LINE: There are things to appreciate here, but in my experience it was more overstimulating than enjoyable. It's...OK.

RATING: 6 (leaning toward a 6.5)/10 (debatable)

Alright Wheel of Names, what's in store for me next time?

Spoiler

cue the wheel giving me a bunch of Ben 10's in a row like on SBM

Stay tuned for dman's next talk-about.

March 27

Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", dman talked about an episode of a show that was...sunday...kenny...drowning...tom...or something along those lines. Will today's show be any better, or will it send him into another six-year-long period of inactivity on this thread (that lazy mofo)?

Damn, the opening narration really didn't have to do me like that...

So...yeah. After all this time, I'm finally gonna try finishing this thing again. I apologize that it's taken me so long to make another update in this thread, but as of now I have too much time on my hands and my mind drifted to this old project, so I figured "why not?". Let's talk about some toons. I still won't be covering anything after 2018, because by then we'd be getting to shows that I haven't even watched once and know little to nothing about. Of course, that's also not saying that I've extensively watched every show I put on the original list. For example...

#55: Apple & Onion "A New Life"

[February 23, 2018]

If I remember correctly, this was the first new show to air after I made my thread for talking about CN originals on SBM. This was also around the time where I stopped keeping up with the channel in general. I know I saw one episode of this show on TV at least, but I think that's it. I don't know what else to say here, so let's go ahead and dive on into Apple and Onion's world. Welcome.

The episode begins with the titular characters leaving their homes for new lives. Both of them have their own mantras in the form of a song, Apple's being about taking things one step at a time, and Onion's being about making new friends. Eventually they both make it to the city, which is filled with a wide variety of food residents. Apple attempts to reach the address given to him by his parents, but unfortunately he's easily distracted. On his way he stops by an ice cream truck and buys $65 worth of ice cream, not noticing he left his backpack (address with it) on the truck's side mirror. He realizes this too late as the truck drives off, but before he can chase it down he uses his ice cream to cool off a visibly exhausted woman on the sidewalk. Meanwhile, Onion arrives at his new job with some ice cream he bought from the same truck, the intention being to give it to his new boss and make a good first impression. Unfortunately, it melts inside the office and he gets the mess all over his boss's suit, who demands that he get it dry cleaned if he wants to keep his job. It seems like his goal to make friends isn't panning out so far, huh? Anyway, we cut back to Apple. While reminding himself to take things one step at a time, he is once again distracted. He thinks he hears the ice cream truck, but it turns out to be a phone ringing, belonging to a nearby scam artist. He uses the rest of his money to pay for a self-portrait from the artist (who insists that Apple pays before he can see it), but much to his surprise Apple ends up really liking it. In the meantime, Onion arrives at the laundromat to get his boss's suit cleaned up. He notices an athlete struggling with his washing machine, so Onion offers to let the athlete share his own machine. He sets the temperature to hot, which certainly won't be a mistake. Getting back to Apple, he helps some kids by dislodging a basketball that was caught in a hoop. However, he throws both of his shoes to do so and now has only socks to walk in. And back to Onion, he gives the suit back to his boss only to discover that it has shrunken and is now red like the athlete's jerseys. He is fired and left homeless as a result, and to add insult to injury he loses his shoes to some wet cement on the way out. Gee, sounds familiar.

Finally, Apple and Onion cross paths at a shoe store. After singing their mantras to themselves, they notice each other and quickly become friends. Apple offers Onion to come live with him, though first the duo must retrieve the address from Apple's backpack, still hanging from the ice cream truck. Their new shoes invigorate them and they run outside, where their good deeds throughout the day begin to pay off. The woman Apple helped cool down gives them the gift of speed, the athlete Onion shared his washer with gives them the gift of flight, the artist Apple gave appraisal to gives them the gift of inspiration (okay), and most helpful of all, the kids that Apple helped in the basketball situation gives them the call of the children, which gains the attention of the ice cream truck driver. Apple finally retrieves his backpack, and the athlete offers to drive him and Onion to the address. In the end, Apple and Onion move in to their new apartment, write positive letters to their parents, and tell each other their names for the first time (although it wouldn't have been too hard to figure out by looks alone). The end.

I wasn't sure what to think of this going in, but you know what, it wasn't too bad. In fact, as far as this episode went, I kind of liked it. The singing had me worried at first, but thankfully they're either very short moments or are interrupted a la the "Welcome Home Sandy" song; that part with the train conductor made me crack a smile. There's also a certain feel of social awkwardness throughout this show that I can relate to, even if at points it gets weird even for me. My other favorite moment was during the laundromat scene where Onion jokes with the athlete, who proceeds to give him an overly detailed death stare, before it changes to a smile upon Onion offering to share his washer. So yeah, I thought this was neat. There's nothing here that wowed me or was new, but I enjoyed myself during the time I had watching it. I may watch a few more episodes to get a more solid opinion on this one, but for now this first episode left a good impression on me. Unlike certain other people in this episode.

THE BOTTOM LINE: Though it doesn't include anything I haven't seen before out of a slice-of-life show, Apple & Onion is still pleasant enough to sink your teeth into. Goodbye.

RATING: 7/10 (decent)

Big news: I've decided to finally give Wheel Decide a rest from these threads. Forever may you be at peace, sweet angel. Instead, say hello to Wheel of Names! Alright new wheel, don't mess this up for me...

Spoiler

Wow, another one I barely watched when it was on.

Stay tuned for dman's next talk-about...even if it takes another six years.

March 7

The one thing I miss the most about old Simpsons is the heart; you really don't see any endings like that of And Maggie Makes Three or Mother Simpson anymore. A good portion of the episodes you've chosen reflect that point even further. Fantastic list!

February 28

Hi! Call me Monkey!

February 24

February 10

sun chips harvest cheddar

February 9

...oh geez, am I late? I got so caught up in what I was doing, and the time just flew, and they wanted me to tell a story for episode 2 this season, and I don't wanna let them down, and...and......and we're on episode 3. Shit. Sorry folks, that's my bad. But enough of that, I'm here now and we have to talk. These last few weeks have been both very crazy and very busy. I never expected a simple trip out of the house to end like this, but here we are. This is a true (false) story. This happened to me (it didn't). What If...(I Stopped Narrating and Switched to Third Person)?

Episode 19: What If...dman and a Giraffe Were in a Band?

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It's your average winter's day in the south. The sky is overcast, the grass is yellow, and somehow it's still hot outside. Two people are in a car heading down a highway situated on a vast field.

dman: Are you sure you know how to get there?

dmom: Yeah look, it's just 10 miles down that way and we'll be at the zoo.

dman: You're holding the map upside down.

dmom: ...goddammit.

dman: Great, now we're out in the middle of who knows where! Why the hell are you even using a paper map anyway?

dmom: I left my phone in the car.

dman: What

dmom: In dad's car.

dman: Oh, okay. I still don't understand how you keep forgetting to bring your phone though.

dmom: Sometimes it's on purpose! You know, limiting yourself on screens can get you a long way.

dman: Well, my screen will get us a long way to where we're actually supposed to be.

dmom: Fair.

dman: You keep driving, I'm gonna navigate. Okay, it looks like we can take an exit in a few miles that'll allow us to...

dmom: What is that?

dman: Hm?

dmom: Over there. Something big. It almost looks like it's heading our way, no?

dman: No kidding! Wow, I've never seen one run that fast.

dmom: You know what it is?

dman: Well yeah, it's a- SHIT! MOM, SLOW DOWN!!

dmom: OH FUCK

She slams on the brakes, but it's too late. Something jumps in front of the car and is hit at a considerable speed.

dmom: Oh my god, oh my god. Is it dead?

dman: I don't care about that, you almost hit the giraffe!

A giraffe is standing on the side of the road opposite the field. It's unscathed, albeit barely.

dmom: What in the...there was a giraffe here the whole time?

dman: Yeah, isn't that what you were seeing earlier?

dmom: No, I saw this giant cat out in the field! The same one I just hit with my car! What is it even doing out here?

dman: Eugh, a lion. The natural predator of the giraffe.

dmom: What are you, some kind of a giraffe expert?

dman: Something like that. stares directly at you, the reader, and winks

dmom: ...who are you looking at?

dman: Not who, what. There's a van heading our way, maybe they can help us out.

The van belongs to zoo management. It pulls up and couple of people step out.

Emergency Response 1: Yeah, uh, we're with the zoo down the street and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises.

dman: Oh please yes, take him awa- wait. Down the street?

dmom: Told you I knew how to get there.

Emergency Response 2: Ignore him, he's just joking. This animal is already dead.

dman & dmom: ...

Emergency Response 2: We're on the lookout for some escaped animals and you folks just stumbled across two of 'em. By any chance, have you also seen a zebra, a hippopotamus, or maybe some penguins?

dman: Sure! They've been appearing on my shorts feed nonstop. I like the one where the emperor chick trips and falls. Check it out!

dmom: Ooh, let me see!

Emergency Response 1: whispering I doubt these people will be of any help.

Emergency Response 2: Alright. turns back to dmom Since this event appears to be out of your control, the city will help with paying damages to your car.

dmom: Aw, but I wanted a new one!

Giraffe: grunt

dman: ...wait. Do that again.

Giraffe: groan

dman: Holy crap! Mom, listen, it sounds just like that one texture from the song we heard! Come on man, give us another!

Giraffe: silence

dman: Shoot.

Emergency Response 2: We'll be on our way with these fellers. Y'all didn't see anything, you hear?

dmom: Yes sir! Thank you, and sorry about the lion!

Emergency Response 1: Actually, we were just about to ship him to Africa but this makes the job easier for us. Toodles!

Somehow they fit the giraffe in the van as it grunts and groans a few more times. The van drives off, leaving the mother and son alone.

dman: Aaaaand pause. Sweet, those were the best ones yet!

dmom: You were recording them?? We're supposed to be keeping hush-hush about this!

dman: Don't worry, I only did it for the giraffe sounds. They've struck me with the greatest feeling of all...inspiration!

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And so, I got to work. Using a plethora of samples alongside the giraffe noises, I finally had the opportunity to do what I've wanted to do for years: produce my own electronica. I've been returning to that same zoo a lot lately to record more vocals from my new friend, and in due time we released our debut single, "Ahem, Giraffe", under the Dman & Giraffunkel moniker. Our next song is already in the works, and let me tell you, you guys are NOT READY for it. I'll just say that somehow the giraffe managed to learn how to play a xylophone. (You should come and see him, he's pretty good!) As for what comes after that, nothing's set in stone yet. We might try to net a few insurance commercials, and I've heard they're already considering us for the Zookeeper 2 soundtrack, but we'll see if those ever pan out. In the meantime, we'll be climbing our way up as the newest underground act on the animal-based house scene, and making plenty of music in the upcoming months to make up for my lateness on this episode. Toodles!

(Also, if you're wondering how my mom and I got home, we were eventually rescued by, oh...let's say...Steel Sponge.)

January 27

inhale aaagggghhhhhh

January 12

i put the ones i've only passed through in green for completion's sake

December 14, 2024

i placed all my bets on blitzen

December 14, 2024

I build snow Sandy along with an oncoming snow car

December 14, 2024

you won't catch me...hesitating

December 5, 2024

donkey

December 5, 2024

On 12/3/2024 at 10:38 PM, Slippin' Freddy said:

I prefer starving crazed weasels

We're out of starving crazed weasels.

December 2, 2024

November 21, 2024

The vending machine responds in kind.

I put in $4.20.

November 19, 2024

You get half a can of Sprite. Unfortunately the cut is vertical so the rest of the drink spills out.

I put in a plastic chip the same size as a quarter.

November 18, 2024

root beer

put it in a square cup and it's beer

November 17, 2024

You get a room temperature can of beer.

I put in a $2 bill.

November 2, 2024

in a shocking twist of events i'm actually doing this for once

funniest member: wumbo, salmon, meko, sbl, winter
chattiest member: jjs, meko, prez, whobob, wumbo
spongiest member: carotte, winter, meko, mythix, jaic
best gamer: prez, darkness, fred, jjs, meep
show stopper: whobob, kat, ex, clappy, omj
geekiest band geek: prez, kev, maniac, hawk, steel
most artistic member: darkness, nuggets, steel, cha, jane
sportiest member: trophy, illiniguy, jcm, prez, kat

best episode: what if...sbc was owned by a corporation?, what if...the security system didn't take control of squidward's house?, what if...mrbeast bought sbc? (all sbc what if's)
best artwork: jawsome birthday (salmon), squidward collection (pickleman), glep supremacy (katie), dr. amigo (steel), luigi the goat (nuggets)
best pictionary drawing: pentagon (darkness), ink lemonade (steel), ricardio the heart guy (steel), c.h. greenblatt (prez), dj spit (darkness)

honorary staff member: owm, darkness
honorary member: salmon, meko

October 10, 2024

i will be spongebab (the s is lowercase)

September 28, 2024

Ah...TheMysteriousMrEnter. He's somewhat considered an outcast among animation critics and the internet as a whole, yet somehow he still has an influence on SpongeBob discussion to this day, albeit in some of the least admirable (hehe) ways possible. You'd think given such a reputation he'd want to leave that part of his past behind, but the truth is he is Among Us!

Or at least he could be. Meh, probably not. But it's fun to think about the hilarious shitstorm that universe would be. It's fun to imagine...What If...?

Episode 10: What If...Mr. Enter Joined SBC?

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[Thread: 128b. Stuck In The Wringer. A new post appears.]

MystifyingEntryway: To this day, I still loathe this episode. I would beat the everloving shit out of Patrick if I could. The one thing I liked was when SpongeBob and Squidward made love in the ordering boat, but that's it. Atrocious.

jjs: agreed

WhoBob: oh no

Slug: Godly way to bump a topic.

sbl: Looks like someone's a decade behind the times!

Hawk: Next you'll be telling us about how the moral is rancid and the background fish are assholes.

MystifyingEntryway: Both are true. Everyone is so mean-spirited towards SpongeBob for no reason. I wish I could jump through the screen and murder those fish telling off SpongeBob. Also, crying to solve your problems CLEARLY isn't a moral you should be teaching to children. I cannot express enough how much I despise those writers.

Hawk: ...speak of the devil.

Winter: Let's see...

thinks episode is mean-spirited
wants to kill fictional characters
insults the staff

He's checking off every box so far

Carotte: this episode's not good and all, everyone knows, but can we not insult the writers of the show please?

MystifyingEntryway: They need to pay for their crimes immediately. Impalement sounds like a fitting punishment. I will see to it myself if necessary.

Carotte: ok you are getting too fat

Slug: Aaaand with that we've officially entered violent shitshow territory.

SOF: this isnt funny dude...

Winter: Hey, you should join SBM! There you can threaten the crew all you want, and the admins will do nothing!

jjs: as for here, you get one last chance before you're out

MystifyingEntryway: I was going to make an account on SpongeBuddy Mania originally, but I noticed a severe lack of discussion on the September 11 attacks, despite the site being launched only three years after. It felt very ignorant of the time, so I changed my mind.

SOF: bruh

Wumbo: what in the living HELL does 9/11 have to do with a spongebob fansite

Prez: spongebob did 9/11

Wumbo: true I forgot about that

salmon: hey uh, do we think it's possible that this "mystic entry" guy here could be, i don't know...mr. enter???

MystifyingEntryway: Fuck you.

jjs: see ya later bran flakes

[MystifyingEntryway is banned for being stupid.]

dman: so are we all just gonna ignore that he enjoys the spongebob and squidward sex scene

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After his exile from SBC, an enraged Enter decides to start a new series on his channel. In the first (and only) episode of Online Outrages, he plays the victim by crying and screaming for 20 minutes about how he was mistreated by SBC, but the internet does not hear him out. The video unexpectedly goes viral, becoming one of the most disliked on all of YouTube right behind the baby shark dance, and also becoming a great source of ridicule for about three weeks. Simultaneously, SBC traffic explodes as several new users join to make fun of Enter's posts, with the Stuck in the Wringer topic gaining millions of views and eventually becoming the most viewed in the site's history. Enter's social status degrades from outcast to pariah overnight, resulting in him never uploading anything to YouTube again and going completely silent on all his accounts. To this day, no one knows where Mr. Enter is. Whether he's finally taking a hint and going off the grid or just hiding behind another pseudonym, all that matters is his channel is dead and SBC is thriving. Although, I will admit, he may have been right about one thing...I guess crying doesn't solve your problems after all!

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