Sweat

June 28, 2019

26. "With these spiky cleats, anything is possible!"

SpongeBob Meets the Strangler, 150 points
12 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #1 @The Helpful Mexican) (+3)

Every since debuting at #16 on the 2013 list, the list regular SpongeBob Meets the Strangler has every so slowly went down on the list to #29 last year. Thankfully, though, it rebounded a little bit, even if it's just outside of the top half of the list. Either way, finishing off the bottom half of the list is this episode. This was yet another cut I had to make from my top 25, and one where I just absolutely love SpongeBob's performance. His naivety is both cute and makes for some great jokes here, and the Strangler is a perfect mix of funny and genuinely threatening and scary. Somehow, by the end of the episode, you feel kinda bad for him as he is unable to kill SpongeBob.

25. "Bee-bee-boo-bop, bee-bee-boo-beep."

Krab Borg, 158 points
9 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #3 @SquiddyFace ) (-12)

Now we have entered the tipping point: the top half of the list. It pains me to start off the top half, though, with what I personally see as the saddest jump on the entire list. Outside of 2013, this is the lowest the episode has been on the list. The fact that it managed to stick around despite being on 9 lists, though, is impressive. Fun fact: 6 out of the 9 lists had it in the top 6, including mine. #5 specifically. But yeah, this is a painful drop for me, because I do consider this one of the very best episodes of the show. Obviously, it's extremely quotable if spending more than a week on SBCord is any indication, and frankly, I would consider this the funniest episode in the show's history. #4-1 on my list are all very emotional episodes with humor as a generally secondary thing, but this is the one episode that continues to make me laugh more than any other. It feels like an assault of gag after gag, and it leaves you blown away with how many jokes you can fit in 11 minutes.

June 27, 2019

28. "Happiness is just a suction cup away."

Squidville, 137 points
10 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank 2 #1's @CakeCup @E.V.I.L.) (+19)

Squidville experiences a bonkers jump, earns two number ones, yet still cannot make it into the top half. It's like The Paper's situation but not quite as bad, but it still goes to show how competitive this lsit is getting. This episode's only previous appearances were in 2015 and 2018, but this year's position is easily the highest of the three years. Sometimes, I just totally draw a blank on why an episode jumps really high, but with this one, I think it just fits the SBC zeitgeist. We're all fucking sad and dissatisfied with our lives, and Squidward in this episode is just a great performance. I didn't put it on my own list, but it was a very painful cut. This episode is painfully relatable, yet it's also morbidly funny.

27. "Now go save the world or you're fired!"

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V, 142 points
10 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #2 @almy) (-12)

This is another unfortunate one. A regular in the top 50 and, besides 2013, a regular in the top 20, has fallen out. Despite the fall, the fifth Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy installation reigns supreme as SBC's favorite MM&BB episode. There were certainly good ones beforehand, but this one lives up to what you expect from an episode based on superheroes. It's packed to the brim with action and suspense, has more than its fair share of comedy and gags (as the image above shows), and you get a really heartwarming resolution. While it's not my favorite MM&BB episode (that actually goes to #6), I can see why so many have such fondness for this one.

June 26, 2019

30. "No matter how much I may beg, and plead, and cry, don't give that paper back to me ever."

The Paper, 127 points
11 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank 2 #1's @SI-LLY @sbl) (NEW)

And here it is, guys! The very last absolute debut on the list, having not appeared even in Honorable Mentions in 2018, making it the biggest absolute debut by a pretty big margin. The episode had a weird history, showing up in both 2015 and 2016, falling off the list completely last year, and jumping back in higher than ever. It also represents the insane turnout for the list, as this is the first instance an episode has ended up in bottom half of the list despite having multiple #1's. Yeah, this is an anomaly for the ages. I can see why the love for the episode shot up, during a season 1 binge I did ages ago, it became one of my favorites. It's almost like an exercise done by the writers in how interesting they can make an episode out of such a mundane concept, and they succeed with flying colors. It's one of the funniest episodes of season 1, and a worthwhile watch.

29. "Whoa-ho, Mr. Krabs. I didn't know your had heat vision."

Imitation Krabs, 136 points
10 out of 44 points (Highest Rank #2 @PEPSI✭MAN) (-9)

A rather unfortunate drop, innit? Outside of an outlier position at #47 in 2013, Imitation Krabs hovered right below the top 20 since 2015 until it finally hit the top 20 last year. Sadly, this year, it dropped at its lowest position since 2013. It's also the first drop in a while on the list. The fact that it's still in the top 30 is a good thing though, because this is a great episode. All 3 main characters are at their funniest here. It's a bit of a shame that it's been overshadowed by its sister episode. Y'all probably know what I mean.

June 25, 2019

32. "I'm ready for the longest, coldest winter ever!"

Survival of the Idiots, 121
8 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #3 @almy) (+3)

Here, we have another list regular. This is yet another with no real prevailing trend, but rather one that just hopped around on the list. It was at its lowest in 2013 at #48, its peak in 2015 at #16, and here, we have it somewhere in the middle. A lot of the time, generally loved episodes in the SpongeBob canon do have a layer of emotions to make it even more enjoyable, even if the episode has a lot of comedy to it.This is a prime piece of SpongeBob abandoning any real sentimentality and just going full-on slapstick. It's and endlessly quotable sequence of completely off-the-walls brainless fun, and at times, genuinely thrilling.

31. "Pardon me, ugly sponge coming through."

Something Smells, 124 points
10 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #4 @Patty Rose) (+8)

At this point, it's pretty clear that as the list climbs upward, a lot of these episodes are becoming well-established as regular appearances on the top 50, a more established "canon" if you will. Something Smells is yet another example of a regular with no real trend, never going higher than #18 or lower than #39... both of those positions having been consecutive. This episode had a good share of new submissions showing appreciation for the episode, and for good reason. This is a great example of how pre-movie can effortlessly combine total hilarity as well as a sense of real sympathy for SpongeBob's struggle that a lot of viewers can probably relate to. It's almost like a "body positivity" episode from a more wholesome show, but completely twisted to make it funnier while still retaining its message. Anyway, that's the 40-31 stretch of the list over with!

June 24, 2019

34. "Well, we wanted to make sure Mrs. Puff, the greatest driving teacher in the world, was here to see this."

No Free Rides, 112 points
10 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #2 @Wumbo) (+25)

In 2015, No Free Rides got on the list for the first ever time, fell into HMs for the next two iterations of the list, and in 2019, it leaped back into the top 50, and high. This is an episode I only recently discovered that I completely loved, and one that just missed the cut for my top 10. It's one of the most chaotic pre-movie episodes there is, and it results in one where every single scene lands perfectly to maximize hilarity.

33. "A giant blue-lipped clam ate me millionth dollar!"

Clams, 117 points
10 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #2 @chio) (+8)

I don't know the extent of meme value that pushed this episode so high, but ever since it appeared on the list in 2016, it has kept on climbing. Personally, it did not make my list, although it was one of many painful cuts. It's a super funny episode and one where, despite the demented behavior of Mr. Krabs, you still sympathize with him. Plus, there's also the fact that the episode's complete YTP makeover probably made people grow more fond of the original episode. Either way, I'm glad it climbed.

June 23, 2019

36. "I'm selling twice as many patties and I don't even have to cook them."

Krabs à La Mode, 109 points
13 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #4 @kylie) (+15)

While this episode managed to make the list in 2015 and 2016, unfortunately it missed the mark by ONE SLOT last year. Thankfully, this year, it gets its revenge and jumps all the way back up to #36. This episode is also notable as having made the most lists out of any other episode that has been revealed so far. It's very much a "lots of people at least mildly enjoy it" episode, perhaps partially thanks to a lot of people treating it as one of the best post-movie episodes (which it is) and having it at least near the bottom of their list. Look, I don't know the rationale behind every single person who put this episode on their list, but what I do know is that it's well-deserved. Even as a kid, I knew this was one of my favorite post-movie episodes (although it sadly didn't make my top 25.) Outside of the clever premise, I'm just a total sucker for "a bunch of characters react to the same environment" episodes, and this one is very much that. Heck, the same thing sorta applies to its sister episode, New Digs, an episode which I really hope gets the love it deserves in this community.

35. "Can you believe some people are afraid to ride roller coasters?"

Roller Cowards, 110 points
11 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #3 @The Helpful Mexican) (-11)

Hey look, a post-movie double punch! Heck, even better, a season 5 double punch. Unfortunately, this episode went in the opposite direction as Krabs a la Mode, but hey. Roller Cowards debuted at an impressive #28 in 2016, jumped up a little bit in 2018, and here it is, fallen down pretty hard. It stinks a little bit, but at least it's on the list, and we could always use as much post-movie and especially post-s4 as we can get. These episodes deserve just as much spotlight as any other, and while I don't adore this episode or anything, I enjoy it a lot. It's a really cute and really funny episode with SpongeBob and Patrick being super childish, but in a charming way rather than the infuriating way post-movie tends to spin their relationship as.

June 22, 2019

38. "Ah, the battle for the survival of the fittest rages on in the animal kingdom."

Feral Friends, 105 points
8 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #2 @4EverGreen) (+17)

Virtually every single version of SBC's top 50 has a token new episode. At one point, it was Plankton's Pet. At one point, it was Mimic Madness. This year, this is our token recent episode that everyone has fallen head over heels for. And yes, I did indeed watch it for the first time in full ever before I made this post, as I am NOT caught up on post-sequel SpongeBob. What do I think? Well, it's an awesome episode! I've already seen bits of it, so I generally knew what to expect, and let me say this, I was not let down. This episode was an adventure and a half. A brilliant storyline, packed with action, and some of the very funniest Patchy segments I have ever seen. I'm not sure if it would make my top 25 in hindsight still, but I absolutely see the appeal. Great stuff.

37. "Patrick, you do exactly what I do and you'll have an award in no time."

Big Pink Loser, 107 points
8 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #2 @Clappy) (+1)

Again, we have another list regular! Ever since 2013, Big Pink Loser has hopped around on the list, starting off at #44 in 2013, jumping up to #26 in 2015, and then slowly dropping down until this year where it got a little bit of a nudge upward. (Sometimes, I think 2013 is invalid compared to the other lists considering how few people were involved and how drastically different it is compared to the later lists, but I digress.) This is another season 2 classic, and maybe one of the most humanizing performances for Patrick the show has ever had. For a lot of episodes with Patrick in it, the extent of your feelings are "hehehehe he fat and dumb," but in this episode, you can actually connect with him a lot, especially if you can relate to lagging behind those you love success-wise. Plus, it's just really funny.

June 21, 2019

40. "I demand entrance into your club on the grounds that I am not a weenie!"

No Weenies Allowed, 105 points
6 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #2 @El Jacko) (-3)

We have now entered the top 40, and with that, we have an episode that was off the list for the second and third versions of the top 50, hopped back in and high at #37 last year, and here it is, still hovering around that general area. What struck me right away about this episode's placement is that it has 105 points despite only having been on 6 lists, which is very impressive. I looked at the stats of how people ranked it, and the lowest it was ranked among the six was #17. The other 5 lists with it all had it firmly in the top 15, and 4 of which put it in the top 10. This is very much an instance of "a select few love this episode to death," and I am by no means complaining. I find it impressive just how funny it is while mostly being dialogue-driven. There are some clear exceptions to the rule, such as the legendary "fight scene" with Patrick near the end, but a lot of great moments in the episode are just the banter that all the characters, one-off or not, have with one another.

39. "I bet if we made a better burger, we'd make a fatter stack of loot."

Friend or Foe, 105 points
8 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #4 @Jon Snow) (+13)

Oh my lord, could it be? An actual jump on the list!? Granted, this episode hopped from Honorable Mentions back onto the list, but hey, it counts! Friend or Foe found a spot near the middle of the list for the two-year stretch from 2015 to 2016, but for whatever reason, just completely fell off the list in 2018, having a semi-respectable spot in the HMs. Thankfully, though, while this episode has not reached the peaks it had while it was on the list prior, it managed to redeem itself and land back on the list for the 20-year anniversary edition. One thing I realized when I saw this on the list is that, although post-movie obviously many criticisms against it, one thing that I doubt many would disagree with is that the post-movie crew could write a damn good half-hour special, and Friend or Foe is just one of a multitude of examples. I didn't put it on my list, but I can't deny that it's a very well-written and genuinely touching story on when Krabs and Plankton were best palsie-walsies and the stuff they had to struggle with growing up... at least in this episode, as you know how consistent this show is continuity-wise.

June 20, 2019

42. "You, me, and 10,000 Krabby Patties! And the best part? No breaks."

Fear of a Krabby Patty, 99 points
12 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #1 @Steel Sponge) (-15)

Fear of a Krabby is the first entry on this year's top 50 that has been a regular ever since the beginning of the official top 50's. After a drop-off from 33 to 47 between 2013 and 2015, Fear of a Krabby slowly rised up on it, peaking at #27 last year! For any post-movie episode, that is impressive, but unfortunately, all the traction it gained for the past several years hasn't helped it out this year. That's just how it is. With just how much more competitive this list is compared to last year, if your support doesn't grow a terrible amount with new submitters, this is what happens. I am certainly one of probably many who will lament this episode's fall, as I do enjoy this episode a lot. It didn't make my top 25, but if I ever did a top 10 post-movie episodes, it would most likely land on it. Early season 4 had an undeniable charm to it that becomes more and more apparent as any "where's Hillenburg!?" soreness weakens within the fandom, and Fear of a Krabby Patty was an excellent way to start off this new era of SpongeBob. It's an absolutely bonkers episode, more hyperactive than most of pre-movie, and it makes for something hilarious.

41. "We're not talking about some mail fraud scheme or hijacking here, WE STOLE A BALLOON!"

Life of Crime, 104 points
9 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #1 @El Jacko) (-11)

Ah, our first major milestone! We have surpassed the 100-point mark! This is, by a large margin, the earliest we have ever surpassed that milestone in the list's history, so congratulations to the community for being so invested in this. Unfortunately, that milestone has not saved this episode from falling, as this is actually the lowest it has ever been on the list. Just like Fear of a Krabby Patty, this is yet another regular on the list. Rather than having a somewhat stable trend like Fear of a Krabby Patty, though, Life of Crime has had a safe spot somewhere right below the halfway point of the list ever since 2013. That makes its fall all the more puzzling. This is, indeed, a very good episode, but for some reason, one that I don't have any fond nostalgia for. It takes me a while to remember the exact plot points of the episode, perhaps because I confuse it with Doing Time. Either way, this is a worthy entry onto the list, and a great episode within the realm of pre-movie.

June 19, 2019

44. "Well it doesn't matter anyway 'cause you're gonna eat my dust."

The Fry Cook Games, 96 points
9 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #5 @Wumbo) (0)

The Fry Cook Games is yet another case of a pre-movie episode not landing on the list until pretty recently. It was safely in the honorable mentions in 2016, managed to successfully deep fry pole vault into the top 50 in 2018, and here for the 20 year edition of the list, it... kept the exact same position as before. Episodes near the bottom of the list that have not changed at all is so interesting because a lot of the time, they obviously gained more support and lists as more people submitted, but then the power of everyone else counteracts it so it's just stuck in the exact same spot. It's good that it stayed on, though, as this is an endlessly entertaining episode, and a creative one at that. I think it's especially adorable that outside forces tried to tear these two apart and make them loathe each other, but at the end of the day, the power of their friendship overcomes whatever societal pressures and outside voices expect from them. Wait, is this an allegory for something?

43. "I never thought being a parent could be this much fun."

Rock-a-Bye Bivalve, 99 points
9 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #2 @Hayden) (NEW)

For the entire course of this list, Rock-a-Bye Bivalve has been hovering and hopping in and out of the best list. In 2013, it wasn't on at all. Then, it made Honorable Mentions. Then, it made it on the list! Then, it hopped out completely, and now here we are. This episode's reputation is as unstable as its role on the list, with it being perhaps one of the most controversial episodes in the show's history. Remember that this episode aired first in the early 00's, which was not, in any way shape or form, a good time for gay people. Therefore, just about ANY hint at supposed "homosexuality" was ridiculed by conservative idiots, and considering SpongeBob already built a reputation for POSSIBLY BEING GAY OH NO this episode did it no service. Along with that, the fact that it was such an obvious piss take at gender roles in the typical nuclear American household probably didn't help out its case. Of course, long after that, I think a lot of people can agree that it's a great episode. It's smart, hilarious, and above all else, super heartwarming by the time SpongeBob and Patrick join forces once more to save Junior. Then there's that last line, you know what it is.

June 18, 2019

46. "Too bad SpongeBob is missing out on all the fun!"

I Had an Accident, 94 points
8 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #2 @Steel Sponge) (NEW)

After a year where this episode did not make it on the list, it comes back on. Over time, this is an episode that, for whatever reason or another, has been on and off the top 50 since 2013. Generally speaking, I feel like universally "enjoyed" pre-movie episodes have that sense of fragility on the list to them, where unless it's a super well-established one, it's kind of a crapshoot whether they make it on the list this time around or not. I Had an Accident was lucky enough to get just enough support to make it on. I don't think very many would dispute this being one of the strangest episodes to be created in the pre-movie realm, but it makes for a super fun watch. Somehow, the writers managed to pull off a plot about SpongeBob being a shut-in and making the episode on the most surreal and hyperactive the show has had by that point.

45. "If this works, I'll take back what I said about you two being lame."

Mid-Life Crustacean, 95 points
9 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #5 @chio) (-9)

This episode was off the top 50 for quite a while until 2018 when it leaped up to near the middle of the list. At the time, I merely liked the episode, but by the time I saw it as an all-time favorite and put it high on my list, it takes a pretty bad fall. Go figure. As you can see by the highest rank being relatively low, this is one of those episodes that's generally love a fair amount by a lot of people rather than being loved intensely by a few. Maybe part of my love episode is having that mild feeling of getting old and not being a child anymore (although in many respects I still feel like one), but I think the most important part of it (and what makes it top ten-worthy for me) is that it's one of the funniest episodes of the show while remaining completely relatable. Some of the show's episodes perceived as the funniest like Chocolate With Nuts and Shanghaied don't have much grounding in reality. Those episodes are hilarious thanks to the gags and cartoonish running jokes that accompany them. Meanwhile, this episode just feels like a hard dose of reality throughout, and it makes for one of the few episodes that can still manage to make me laugh.

June 17, 2019

48. "Help me get the secret formula and you can have as much root beer as you can drink!"

Plankton's Army, 89 points
7 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #1 @WhoBob) (-15)

This episode has had a neat history on SBC's Top 50. It's been on the list since 2015 after WhoBob, whose favorite episode was this one since at least then, came on and became an active submitter. Even though his opinion on the episode has kept it on for the past few iterations of the list, it started off near the bottom such as here, jump up into the 30s for a couple of lists, and then fell back down. I don't what explained the sudden rise, but the sudden fall this time around may simply because not many people besides older submitters strongly like this episode, and considering the insane number of points required to make it on this year, it's not too surprising that some episode get the short end of the stick. It certainly makes me sad, though, as I absolutely adore this episode and put it on my own top 25. It's absolutely hilarious as well as an interesting character study of Plankton's.

47. "Sir, I'll give you a million dollars for that hat!"

One Krabs Trash, 94 points
8 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #3 @PEPSI✭MAN) (NEW)

You know, maybe my hypothesis was wrong, because as of right now, entirely new pre-movie episodes beat out fallen pre-movie episodes 2-1 on the list. I have no idea what this entails yet, but back to One Krabs Trash, this episode has not been on the list since 2013. I'm not quite sure what got it onto the list at last, but I'm certainly not complaining. I don't love this episode to death, but I do like it a lot. It's a really strange, yet funny episode, and obviously a perfect watch around October when your shopping lists at home start to escape the countertops and sides of fridges that they have been chained to for the rest of the year.

June 17, 2019

The title clearly ain't true.

Consider this my current thread that will just be the central hub for any write-ups I have about music, whether it's new or old, I love it or hate it, whatever. There's no real central theme here, so expect projects to come and go. If you like my opinions or wanna trash on 'em, here you go.

To start off this thread that I hope gets updated every once in a while, I decided to do some write-ups on some fantastic songs that I highly recommend from the first half of the year... in alphabetical order because ranking things is occasionally just stupid. Pretend I didn't have a ranked list in my signature for a while.

Halibut's 10 Favorite Songs of 2019... So Far

Some time in the latter half of 2018, I finally had the sense to follow music trends as they're happening. When I started getting really snobby about music, it led to this spiral where following current trends was not a priority for me in any way. I wasn't watching the charts. I wasn't checking out the hip and critically acclaimed releases. I just felt no need to. This changed in a big way some time last year when I realized that fetishizing the established classics from before my time and solely sticking to that was never gonna get me anywhere if I wanted to continue pursuing a passion for exploring music rather than solely just listening to old favorites. I am not perfect yet in keeping up with the times, but I have gotten much better at it, which is why I even have the ability to concoct a list like this. With this in mind, here we go...

Spoiler

Carly Rae Jepsen - I'll Be Your Girl

Should I feel ashamed that I still haven't listened to E•MO•TION yet? Hell, I had that requested of me a while back - an obligation I still haven't fulfilled. Yeah, maybe I should be a little ashamed. I passively listened to CRJ's newest album and did not get much out of it. A part of it is undoubtedly that I didn't pay much attention, but when it comes to pop, I'm just a not a huge fan of that sound. I won't pretend that her music isn't spectacularly written, though. Most of the album hasn't stuck with me yet, but I grew super fond of this one near right away. That bassline is such a great way for the song to hook you in immediately, but for some reason, I think what gets me about this song is that it isn't all that bombastic? I love "Run Away With Me" as much as the next person, but I am not always in the mood for it. It's a very maximalist, sugar-high song, and while it's amazing when you're completely ecstatic, it doesn't vibe with me when I'm feeling more content and chill. This song, in contrast, feels a lot more restrained (although it still has its sugary energy), and it makes for something closer to a slow burner. Slow burners have been a thing for me recently, as you will see as the list goes on.

Spoiler

Denzel Curry - RICKY

As far as I'm concerned, Denzel Curry is unstoppable. Every since I first listened to him in depth when he released TA13OO last year, I could not stop. I obviously knew his music briefly beforehand thanks to my entire age group (including) having a primal urge to flip bottles for months on end. "Ultimate" is such an explosive song, and may actually remain as my favorite song of his, but he gave me a whole lot of new material to love with this year's ZUU, an album that seemingly serves to dish out banger after banger until all my energy is depleted. I love the majority of the album (even if some snobs didn't appreciate that he just decided to make a half-hour's worth of simple party rap), but its first single remained my favorite every since it got released. Denzel has a talent for insane hooks, and this song is no different. It's a super fun song (with pretty serious subject matter that I don't really care about because I'm not a lyrics guy) and the video is a great complement to it.

Spoiler

Freddie Gibbs and Madlib - Flat Tummy Tea

It doesn't take a genius to know that Madlib is a legend. I don't really listen to much early 2000's weirdo hip hop, but I've listened to enough to know how good of a producer he is. Meanwhile, I know next to nothing about Freddie Gibbs. I've always wanted to listen to their first collaboration, Pinata, but I just never got around to it. "Flat Tummy Tea" was the first ever Freddie Gibbs song I've listened to it, but right away, it blew my mind. It makes me REALLY want to listen to their first collaboration, but my attention span is trash. It was hard to choose between this and "Crime Pays" for the 2019 singles of theirs to feature here, but I eventually chose this one. This one left a special impression on me. It's an impossibly cool performance from Freddie Gibbs, and Madlib's production is a face-melter. The intense guitar noise that sets off the song, the beat switch, and all the tiny little snippets of random shit that sprinkles the song - it all works. Makes me wanna listen to Madvillainy again.

Spoiler

Halsey - Nightmare

When I first heard this song, I was blown to pieces. It's just an absolutely perfect storm of so many things I love in music as well as just pure catharsis on what a LOT of people are feeling. I've always loved when jagged rock music is fused into a pop song. I saw one dude compare it to t.A.T.u sound-wise, and I can 100% see it. I loved "Dangerous Woman" by Ariana for that reason, and it works just as well in this song, just in different ways. "Dangerous Woman" tries to come off as seductive. This is all-caps ANGRY. It has been my go-to song when I've just been furious at the world for being shitty and unfair. Halsey absolutely sells this performance. You can tell she has been tried one too many times. You can tell even with the lyrics. This is one of the few songs on the list where lyrics have resonated with me... even if the song isn't necessarily for me. Complete rejection of complacency is a mood I wish more people felt, including me. I'm upset this hasn't done super well on the Hot 100, but hopefully if I listen to it more, it'll stay on for a little longer.

Spoiler

Kevin Abstract - Peach

Feelings were mixed on the solo stuff that Kevin Abstract of popular boy band BROCKHAMPTON released this year, but I have to say that I liked it a lot. There's something about the way a lot of dudes in the modern alternative hip hop and R&B sphere sing about love that resonates with me in a way that so few others can. "I'll be your baby doll and your body guard if you tell me to" might just be my #1 favorite line of ANY song this year, and it's in what may be my #1 of the year so far. More importantly than the subject matter, there's just the sound. This is very much a summer evening song. As you listen, try and not to think about a late evening campfire in late July. That's basically my favorite time ever, and this song is just as much as that as anything else. For possibly my favorite of this list, forgive the relative briefness of the write-up. This song feels "perfect," and that shit is hard to write about. Kevin is ridiculously talented, and I will eat up just about anything he gives me.

Spoiler

Lizzo - Like a Girl

Both online and in real life, all I have seen in regards to Lizzo is people collectively pissing themselves over her. No shame though, as I am 100% part of that. I love her to death, and it's more than just that she reps for Minnesota. She's just insanely fun to listen to, and every song of hers is hook after hook. Tracks like "Truth Hurts" and "Juice" are fantastic too, and I'm beyond happy the former is making its mark on the Billboard Hot 100, but the song of hers this year that completely floored me is "Like a Girl." In a way, this is almost an antithesis to "Nightmare" despite having similar-ish messages, with this song being triumphant and ecstatic rather bitter and jaded. This is catharsis in a different way. The chorus of this song is easily her best, a level of positive energy so off-the-charts that even the most hypermasculine freak might give in and just shout along. The musical elements, along with verses that include some awesome one-liners that are on brand for Lizzo, makes for the other possible numero uno for this year so far besides Kevin. I hope Lizzo just keeps getting bigger as time goes on.

Spoiler

Sharon Van Etten - Seventeen

Sometimes, it feels like dumbass Pitchfork-reading music snobs are overly obsessed with rejecting mainstream musical traditions of decades past. This has been changing, of course, but you'll still see a fair amount of people that have an irrational allergic reaction to shit mid mid-70's pop rock. It's so embarrassing, and I deeply wish fewer people cared about constant progression, but the world of indie pop seems like one of the few spheres that has zero shame of recycling old pop tropes while adding something new and special, because they know that shit works. I don't know much about Sharon Van Etten, but I have to listen to her more, because songs like this are something special. She has vocally cited artists like Bruce Springsteen and Patti Smith as major influences, and this song makes it very obvious. You can totally see either of those two writing a song like this in 1976 and having it hailed as a masterpiece. This song, for whatever reason, feels distinctly American because of that, and it's an amazing sound. Heck, it's not even just Americana-influenced heartland rockers like Springsteen and Smith that you can hear in this, but also Fleetwood Mac. If she sounded like Stevie Nicks, I would absolutely believe anyone who told me it was a Fleetwood Mac deep cut. If you like both old school artsy pop rock and modern indie pop, please listen to her. She will not disappoint you.

Spoiler

Tyler, the Creator - Earfquake

Come on, if you didn't expect Tyler on this, you're dumb. Hell, I wasn't even a big fan of Igor! Like, it was good, but nowhere near as special to me as Flower Boy is. This song, though, is among the very best songs from either of those albums. Hell, this song doesn't feel that far off from my favorite Flower Boy song, "See You Again." The latter is my favorite song Tyler has ever done, but "Earfquake" is a close 2nd. They are very intense love songs that make me feel as if I'm floating in my own love juice (interpret that as you will) as I listen to it. Now, this song does have very minor setbacks that keep it from being better than "See You Again." It's more bittersweet, which is great, but not on the same league as the pure joy of the other song. More importantly, though, is that there's no Kali Uchis. Either way, I am very much nitpicking, and this track is still a tenner. Tyler truly, honestly, sounds like he means every word he sings. I wish the rest of Igor was on the same level.

Spoiler

Weyes Blood - Everyday

Thank god I brought up how indie music needs more 70's pop rock worship earlier on in the list, because "Everyday" takes that idea and pumps it up on roids. In an alternate universe, this song topped the Hot 100 in 1971 and was revered as one of the greatest songs of all time by publications such as Rolling Stone, NME, et cetera. I do want to give Weyes Blood credit, though. One, Titanic Rising, the album this came off of, was great. It wasn't perfect, but the best tracks on it were virtually untouchable. "Andromeda" and this song were in a deathmatch for this list. What made the best stuff on it work, though, and what makes this song the sheer masterpiece it is, is the fact that it takes these intense catchy hooks pulled straight from early pop rock and just drowns them in that signature 2010s-style dreamy art pop production. The album art conveys how this song sounds more than anything else can: classic pop that's drenched underwater and has a subtle glow to it. Also, check out that music video, Goddamn.

Spoiler

ZelooperZ - JayJay-Z

To end off the list, here's something more lowkey, yet something super interesting. This isn't some kind of emotional, meticulously crafted masterpiece like a lot of this list. No, this shit is trippy. Huge shout-out to BMC for exposing this dude, ZelooperZ, to me. He's by no means an average rapper, if his association and collaboration with artists like Danny Brown and Earl Sweatshirt is any indication. When I first listened to this, I swear to God I thought it was multiple people rapping. There's no way ZelooperZ was the stage name for one dude. Just listen to the song to see what I mean. It's as if he's switching between cartoon personas every stanza in the song, and it makes for one of the most entertaining rap songs I've heard this year. It helps that his rapping is laid over such a hazy, and more important, THICK beat. The shit sounds like molasses, and it takes an already strange yet super interesting rapper and puts it on a different level, making for a song that you begin laughing at and then you keep playing it over and over again until your brain is leaking out of your ears. Just listen to the damn song, and equally importantly, listen to his most recent album, Dyn-o-mite, for more of this sound.

June 16, 2019

50. "Mr. Krabs, it's not tainted meat, it's painted meat!"

Patty Hype, 88 points
6 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #5 @EmployeeAMillion) (NEW)

Off the bat, we're starting with an episode that, surprisingly, has not made a single best list ever! This surprises me for more than just the fact that I am a big fan of the episode, it just surprises me because you'd think that by 2019, every single pre-movie episode that has any kind of love has made its round on the best list, but no. Either way, I'm glad it made it on this time. It did not make my list, but I have very fond memories of it, and it's just a hilarious episode that has gives you a lot of sweetness near the end.

49. "Success! Soon, all the Bikini Bottomites will be jerks!"

It's a SpongeBob Christmas!, 89 points
6 out of 44 lists (Highest Rank #1 @Aquatic Konquest) (NEW)

Another new episode right away on this list! This time, it has been on the list before, but this was back in 2013. Even then, I am kind of surprised it never made it on the list again until 2019. Generally speaking, the SpongeBob community (or the SpongeBob Community if you prefer) is a sucker for specials if they are done right, and I think this one can reasonably considered that. This is a beautiful episode that takes that claymation nostalgia to a whole other level and just makes the episode pleasing to look at. Sure, some may consider the storyline "tacky" or whatever, but is that not the point? It's just a warm, enjoyable episode, and a great one to watch around Christmastime (assuming the other Christmas special isn't playing on TV.)

June 15, 2019

Today is officially the FINAL DAY of submissions! I will be accepting lists no later than midnight CST. You guys still have a day for any last-minute lists, so I hope I see a couple more today. We are only two lists away from matching the worst list, so keep 'em coming!

June 12, 2019

Remember guys, there are only 3 DAYS left to submit a list if you haven't already. The turnout as is is fantastic but we're just a few lists short of our goal. I hope I see a few more come in by the due date. This list is already huge as is, and more lists will only make it bigger.

June 5, 2019

Alright. Two godawful episodes who deserve bottom 2. Squid Baby was my #1 before a certain episode dethroned it.

Anyways, LIST REVEAL

Spoiler

25 - PINEAPPLE FEVER (#49)
24 - DRIVEN TO TEARS
23 - A LIFE IN A DAY
22 - CEPHALOPOD LODGE (#39)
21 - THE KRABBY KRONICLE
20 - CHOIR BOYS (#4)
19 - SHUFFLEBOARDING (#37)
18 - SENTIMENTAL SPONGE
17 - SMOOTHE JAZZ AT BIKINI BOTTOM (#8)
16 - BUMMER VACATION
15 - GREASY BUFFOONS
14 - TO LOVE A PATTY (#32)
13 - PRE-HIBERNATION WEEK
12 - MODEL SPONGE
11 - SPONGEBOB YOU'RE FIRED (#5)
10 - YOURS, MINE AND MINE (#22)
09 - SQUIDWARD'S SCHOOL FOR GROWN-UPS (#47)
08 - LITTLE YELLOW BOOK (#20)
07 - KEEP BIKINI BOTTOM BEAUTIFUL (#12)
06 - A PAL FOR GARY (#7)
05 - STUCK IN THE WRINGER (#1)
04 - INSPONGEIAC (#56)
03 - ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? (#19)
02 - SQUID BABY (#2)
01 - INK LEMONADE (#3)

June 3, 2019

Both awful episodes who belong pretty well in the bottom 5, but my #1 was indeed Ink Lemonade, which I'm sad didn't make the bottom 2.

June 2, 2019

Well guys, just as a reminder, you have about two more weeks to submit! We are at 30 LISTS right now, which makes me more than happy, but we need more. Don't dilly dally, y'all! If you want your voice heard, submit a list! I'm excited to see the final results! Cheers

June 2, 2019

I don't haaaaaate Pet or Pests, but I do think it's undoubtedly a terrible episode. Its rise on the list is warranted.

Meanwhile, I truly and honestly detest SpongeBob You're Fired. It's almost impressive how badly they screwed up EVERY SINGLE aspect of the premise and took what could've been a somewhat interesting concept for a half-hour special and completely suck any potential redeeming qualities out of it. It used to be my #1 worst at some point, and I still despise it. I'm happy to see it in the bottom 5.

June 1, 2019

Joe is thre best fucking one and any of you fuckeros who go "STEVE IS BEST" will get curbstomped,

June 1, 2019

Both of these are absolutely horrible episode that both made it pretty high on my bottom 25. I'm glad they both stayed in the top 10, even though I'm, needless to say, shocked that A Pal for Gary took the fall it did.

May 31, 2019

Ah, 2 of the four horsemen of overblown specials (one other being Atlantis and the other being... well, you'll see.)

The Clash of Triton is just meh. I don't see any huge deal in it or see it as worthy of hate beyond it just being rushed and mediocre. Whatever.

Truth or Square has a lot of things going for it that are awful, but at the end of the day, I kept it off my bottom 25 only because I certainly hate the context more than the content. I feel there's a difference there.

May 31, 2019

Episode 8:

Squidward Chat! With your host, Squidward Tentacles!

: Welcome back to the show, impressively patient audience! After yet another hiatus, we cleaned up the mess that those alternate universe clone freaks created.

: The blood was our doing, though! Dalalahahahhahajaskf

: We are now ready to continue the program, though, and we hope to continue for real this time. Let's go back to the usual and start with the news! Just last week, Bikini Bottom's mayor was caught in a very serious scandal fo-

: Uh, Squidward?

: Must you interrupt me, SpongeBob? Can we have just one episode where things go smoothly?

: But there's a knock on the door!

: A... kno- why don't you just ANSWER IT while you keep the camera running on me?

: Ohhhhhhh that's smart! You have a big noodle in there, Squid. I'll go do that right now!

: Thank you. Anyways, back to the news. The mayor of Bikini Bottom is in very hot water after evidence has been found of him smuggling ke-

: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, WHAT IS IT!?

: We... uh, have a visitor.

: Is it really that important right n- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

pkg3x99.png?1 : Your show, Squidward. It's mine now.

: What!? Why do you need my show? I thought you already had a Mini Squidward Chat?

pkg3x99.png?1 : Oh, I sure did. That said, recently, some of those immigrant Nazis decided to burn my entire studio down! Isn't it ridiculous? Maybe that's what I get for defending Fishrael on primetime TV.

: W-wha-

pkg3x99.png?1 : Yep, it sure is tragic. I sure miss my set, as having an actual studio and not filming in my living room was a big reason my show did so much better than yours does. It's a real shame I have to downgrade to your dumpy abode, but mini me lives in a mini house. I can't even fit my loyal audience inside it!

-exploding laughter from outside-

pkg3x99.png?1 : Now that's enough talk, don't you think? I suggest you get off my set while you or my creator over by the camera can happily join my loving audience!

: I'm starting to have doubts in how much I love you, Mini Squid.

: You can take my show over my dead body! Sure, it may be poorly run, but it's the only thing that keeps me going. I'd sooner bite your bullet than give this show up.

pkg3x99.png?1 : Ah, I see. How much money do you earn off of this show? Enough that you can quit your job in fast food and live comfortably?

: Uh, well, I-

pkg3x99.png?1 : I'm not stupid, dull bigger Squidward. Say, let's reach a compromise. If you let me host my show in your house, I will give you 20% of the revenue my crew and I earn from it. What do you say?

: No way! Squidward does this for more than just a stupid dollar or two, Mini Squid. He would never sell out! Right, Squiddy?

: ...

-end credits start playing-

Spoiler

MINI SQUIDWARD CHAT! WITH YOUR HOST, MINI SQUIDWARD!

pkg3x99.png?1 : Welcome back to my show, loyal audience! How are you all tonight!?

-rapturous cheering-

: WHOOOOOOO, GO MINI SQUID!

: -sobbing-

May 30, 2019

Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful is undoubtedly one of the most infuriatingly terrible episodes of the show for me. I'm glad it jumped as high as it did.

I don't have any hate for Kitchen really, though, and I'm pretty neutral about it staying in the bottom 20.

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