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Posts posted by JCM

  1. The surprise is 3 new Halloween themed games and 30 non-Halloween games added to SBC's games page! The Halloween games are in orange. The rest of the games I've saved will be added to the page by the start of November, giving everybody two months to play the games before Flash is killed and the page goes into limbo.

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  2. Temporarily reviving this to let you all know I'll be streaming the first episode of The Mandalorian's second season in the SBC Discord tomorrow at 3 PM EST (or 12 hours after it's officially released).

    I'll also post a surprise in this thread shortly after the screening (unless I forgot, which I probably will).

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  3. JCM Goes on a Wild Kev Hunt

    (JCM walks into jjs' office.)

    jjs: Hey, JCM! Great job teaching PE! None of the kids have broken any bones yet, so you're already doing better than drag usually does at this point of the school year!

    JCM: Thanks!

    jjs: Anyway, since you have no other classes today, I wanted you to do something for me. One of our students, kev, hasn't showed up in almost a week, and as you know, our state funding comes per student, so we can't have anyone going missing that long without an excuse.

    JCM: What do you want me to do about it?

    (jjs takes a rifle out from under his desk. JCM gasps.)

    jjs: Don't worry! This is just a tranquilizer gun. I need you to bring kev back to school, by force if necessary. If he isn't in Clappy's third period history class, we'll be forced to count him absent for the fifth straight day, which means we'll no longer be able to make money from him.

    JCM: Or expand his mind with the gift of education?

    jjs: Yeah, but mostly make money from him. Now, chop chop! Third period begins in an hour!

    JCM: You've got it!

    (JCM runs into the door and falls to the ground. When he gets back up, his lips are swollen.)

    jjs: You okay?

    JCM: Yeah, I'll be alwight.

    jjs: Uh, make sure that you remember how door handles work.

    JCM: Aye aye, sow!

    jjs: You mean "sir"?

    JCM: That's what I said, isn't it?

    (JCM leaves the office.)

    jjs: Why do I get the feeling this will be a clusterfuck?

    (JCM, wearing a hunter's hat and hunter's jacket, tiptoes into the mall. He turns to one of the vendors.)

    JCM: Shh. Be vewwy vewwy quiet. I'm hunting twuants.

    Vender: (looks both ways) Okay?

    (JCM notices kev walking into a comic book shop. He goes in after kev. After looking through the latest issue of Batman But He Kills People And Really Really Hates Muslims (written by Frank Miller), kev lowers the comic book to find JCM pointing his tranquilizer gun at kev's face.)

    JCM: Now listen, you awe gonna come back with me to the SpongeBob Community School, or I'll dwag you there knocked out.

    kev: Fuck off, old man!

    JCM: Option 2, then.

    (kev ducks just as JCM shoots the tranquilizer dart, causing him to knock out the owner of the comic book shop instead.)

    kev: Cool! Now I don't have to pay for this!

    (kev jumps onto JCM's tranquilizer gun just as he shoots another dart, hops over JCM, and leaves the store holding the comic he was reading.)

    JCM: You come back hewe, and you pay for that book!

    (JCM chases kev through the mall, but kev loses him a few minutes later.)

    JCM: Whewe is that wascaly twuant?

    (kev taps JCM's shoulder from behind, and when JCM turns around, kev kisses him before punching him with a fist covered by a boxing glove.)

    kev: Best $12 I ever spent.

    (kev's punch sends JCM flying to the other side of the mall, and after he lands, he gets back up with tiny birds flying around his head.)

    JCM: You haven't seen the last of JCM: Twuant Huntew!

    (As kev walks out of the mall, laughing, JCM catches up with him again, pointing his tranquilizer gun at kev's face again with a furious expression on his own face.)

    JCM: You could have made this easy for me. You could have just come back to the school with me, but no! You had to make it hawd for me! And now...I'll make it hawd for you.

    kev: (nervous) B-be careful how you're pointing that.

    JCM: Shut up!

    (JCM shoves the tranquilizer gun into kev's face, and he falls to the ground dramatically.)

    JCM: K-kev?

    (JCM kneels beside kev, whose eyes are closed and whose tongue is sticking out of his mouth.)

    JCM: Oh, no! I killed him! I killed him for skipping school! What's wong with me?

    (JCM starts crying. kev opens one eye before closing it shut again.)

    JCM: I'm a monstew! I don't desewve to teach kids! All kev wanted to do was have some fun, and I muwdewed him for it!

    kev: (whispering) Come closer.

    JCM: kev?

    (JCM gets closer to him.)

    kev: Closer.

    (JCM gets even closer)

    kev: Closer.

    (JCM gets so close that his ear is right in front of kev's mouth.)

    kev: (screaming) I'M NOT DEAD YOU FUCKING IDIOT!

    (JCM is so startled that he drops his tranquilizer gun, and kev picks it up before pointing it at JCM.)

    kev: (in bad Austrian accent) Hasta la vista, baby.

    (kev shoots a dart into JCM's neck, and when JCM wakes up, he's in Clappy's third period history class.)

    Clappy: kev?

    JCM: (slurred) Here.

    Clappy: (shrugs) Good enough.

    (Clappy puts a check beside kev's name on the attendance sheet before moving on.)

    JCM: That's all, folks. (passes out again)

    (The End)

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  4. Patrick Starts a Talk Show

    Announcer: Welcome to The Patrick Star Show! Here's your host: Patrick Star!

    (The crowd cheers as Patrick walks into the stage.)

    Patrick: Thank you, thank you! We've got an amazing show for you tonight! Lincoln Loud is here!

    (The crowd goes wild.)

    Patrick: But first: a couple of jokes!

    (The crowd goes wild.)

    Patrick: I...haven't actually gotten to the jokes yet.

    (The crowd goes wild.)

    Patrick: Let me actually tell some jokes before you start laughing!

    (The crowd goes wild.)

    Patrick: That's it!

    (Patrick takes out a flamethrower and burns the entire audience to a crisp.)

    Patrick: Now that I can hear myself think...

    (Patrick takes a piece of paper out of his pocket.)

    Patrick: Knock knock!

    (Lincoln Loud, star of the hit Nickelodeon series The Loud House, walks onto the stage.)

    Lincoln: Who's there?

    (Patrick fries Lincoln with his flamethrower.)

    Patrick: Don't interrupt!

    (As Lincoln turns to ashes, Patrick turns his paper around.)

    Patrick: I forgot the punchline.

    (What a twist!)

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  5. 85. Post Fiction

    Film: Pulp Fiction

    post /ˈpōst / n. 1. a piece (as of timber or metal) fixed firmly in an upright position especially as a stay or support
    2. something (such as a message) that is published online

    Cha and Local, a pair of career criminals, are at a coffee shop, discussing what place they'll hit next. Cha gets the idea to rob the coffee shop, and Local agrees, so they take our their guns and stick the coffee shop up.

    Suddenly, we're in a car, and mobsters Clappy and Aquatic Nuggets are talking about what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France as they prepare to shake down some kids in a high-rise apartment for an item of value they stole from jjstheboss. Once they get to the room with the kids, the kids are clearly nervous, and Nuggets asks one of the kids what he's eating. He says he's eating a Krabby Patty, and Nuggets asks if he can try it, since he's never had one before. The kid, still nervous, agrees to let him try it, and Nuggets takes a big bite out of the Krabby Patty before asking Clappy what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France again. Clappy responds "Royale with Cheese", and everybody in the room laughs. Nuggets drinks the Sprite in the kid's cup, and then he asks another kid where he put the shit he stole from them. The kid points to the cupboard, and Clappy retrieves a suitcase with a mysterious glowing object inside from it. The kid who had the Krabby Patty apologizes to Nuggets, and Nuggets responds by shooting one of the kids in the chest. The kid with the Krabby Patty then begs Nuggets to spare his life. Nuggets recites a Bible verse about vengeance before riddling the kid with bullets, as Clappy joins him.

    Clappy and Katie

    jjstheboss is with OMJ in a bar he owns, paying him a lot of money for a secret mission. Clappy and Nuggets walk into the bar, and the bar's manager tells them to wait until jjs and OMJ are finished. As OMJ approaches Clappy, Clappy insults him, and he leaves a bewildered OMJ at the front of the bar as he meets with jjs.

    Clappy, preparing for a not-a-date he has with jjs' daughter, Katie, shoots up some heroin at 4EverGreen's place. He then goes to Katie's house, and Katie plays games with an intercom before finally meeting him in the living room. Katie convinces him to take her to a disco place, despite disco going out of fashion 40 years ago. They have a long, intense conversation before getting onto the dance floor and dancing like they're in Footloose (get it? cause clappy is john travolta here? no? ok then). When they're finished, Clappy drives Katie back home, and she convinces him to stay and have a drink with her. Clappy reluctantly agrees to do so, but first, he locks himself into the restroom to remind himself not to do anything that will piss jjstheboss off. As Katie dances with herself in the living room, she finds Clappy's stash of heroin, and thinking it's cocaine, she snorts it all, causing her to have a seizure and pass out.

    Clappy leaves the restroom to find Katie overdosed on his heroin, and realizing that killing his daughter would piss jjs off a lot, he calls 4EG, who wants nothing to do with it. Clappy drives Katie to 4EG's house anyway, and after yelling at Clappy, 4EG feels her pulse, confirming both of their worst fears. 4EG looks for a way to bring Katie back from the dead in a book of spells passed to him by his great-great-great-great-Greenfather. 4EG finds a pathway to abilities some would consider to be unnatural, and he uses them to turn Katie into a vampire. As Clappy drives Katie back home, Katie complains about a strong thirst, and Clappy tells her to drink some water when she gets home and never talk to him again.

    The Gold Watch

    OMJ is remembering a gold watch his father left him before dying in the Great Flame Wars of 2012 as he prepares for a boxing match. OMJ accidentally kills his opponent in the match, leading to the WWE getting future endeavored and jjs, who had money riding on OMJ losing the match, getting really pissed off. OMJ takes a cab to a hideout, where Aya is waiting for him with everything she saved from their apartment. OMJ looks through their items, but he doesn't see the gold watch among them, causing him to flip shit. He asks Aya what happened to the gold watch he specifically told her to bring back, and Aya, terrified, doesn't give a definite answer.

    OMJ drives back to his apartment, cursing Aya for not bringing the thing he cared most about. He goes into his apartment as carefully as he can before tiptoeing to his room and grabbing the gold watch. Before he leaves, he makes a bowl of OMJ-O's (the official cereal of everybody's favorite WWE fighter!) and notices a rifle sitting on his counter. He grabs the rifle as Clappy walks out of a nearby restroom, and before Clappy can respond, OMJ says, "Yippee Ki Yay, motherfucker," and shoots him in the chest. OMJ wipes his prints from the rifle and leaves the apartment. As he drives back to the hideout, jjs walks through a crosswalk right in front of him and stops, making OMJ immediately. OMJ floors it, rolling jjs over his car, and another car crashes into him seconds later.

    jjs is lying on the street unconscious. Bystanders wake him up and point out OMJ, who's sitting in his car covered in blood as people help him. Jjs pulls out his gun and shoots at OMJ, killing one of the people helping him instead, and OMJ manages to escape. jjs follows him into a thrift store, and OMJ surprises him, beating him half to death and taking his gun before the man behind the counter points a gun at him, forcing him to throw his own gun away before the man knocks OMJ out. A few hours later, the man wakes OMJ and jjs up in the thrift store's basement. Both of them are gagged and tied to a chair. The man picks jjs up in his chair and takes him to a separate room, where another man, wearing nothing but a ski mask, is waiting for him.

    Now by himself in the basement, OMJ summons all of his wrestler strength to break the rope tying him to his chair. He heads for the exits, but then he remembers jjs, and he grabs a sword mounted in the thrift store before going back downstairs. He opens the door to the secret room to find the men violating jjs, and he uses the sword to cut them into tiny pieces. As he frees jjs from his chair, jjs thanks him and promises not to pursue him anymore if he leaves town and never mentions what he just saw to anyone. OMJ agrees to his terms, and they go their separate ways. As OMJ limps back to his hideout, he notices a drop of blood on his father's gold watch, and he wipes it off with his shirt.

    The Negi Situation

    As Nuggets and Clappy are shooting that kid who was eating a Krabby Patty, JCM (in a cameo) jumps out of the restroom and shoots at them several times. Every shot misses, however, and they kill JCM quickly. The only kid left in the room is cowering in the corner. Clappy asks him why he didn't tell them about JCM, and Nuggets looks at the holes in the wall behind him with astonishment. He tells Clappy that only an act of God could have saved them, but Clappy has his doubts. As they drive away from the apartment with the last kid, Clappy and Nuggets continue their theological discussion. and Clappy turns around to get the kid's opinion on the matter, waving his gun around until he accidentally shoots the kid in the face, splattering his brains on the windshield. Nuggets yells at Clappy for messing up his car and committing the sin of murder. Clappy asks them if there's anywhere they can store the car while they wait for reinforcements, and Nuggets can only think of one person to call: SpongeBob's #1 Fan.

    They park the car in SBAP's garage, and SBAP yells at them, telling them to get rid of the dead body before his wife, NegiSpongie, gets home. Nuggets calls jjs, and jjs tells him not to worry because Wumbo, North America's greatest fixer, is on the way to fix their shit. Wumbo comes into SBAP's house and tells Clappy, Nuggets, and SBAP everything they'll need to do to get their situation sorted out before Negi comes home. Clappy and Nuggets are forced to clean the kid's remains out of their car while SBAP gathers blankets for them to cover the bloodstained seats with. After they clean the car, Wumbo gives Clappy and Nuggets impromptu showers with a garden hose. They drive the car to a junkyard that won't ask questions, and Clappy and Nuggets take a cab to a nearby coffee shop.

    Clappy and Nuggets are eating bagels when Cha and Local jump onto a table, guns raised, and tell everyone to take out their wallets. As Local walks around the coffee shop collecting wallets, she notices the suitcase Nuggets was planning to deliver to jjstheboss. After taking Nuggets' wallet, she tells Nuggets to open the suitcase, and Nuggets refuses to do it. Annoyed, Local threatens to kill Nuggets if he doesn't open the suitcase, so he opens the suitcase, and as Local gets closer, Nuggets pulls her in by her hair and points his gun at her, causing Cha to run to her defense. Nuggets orders Local to tell Cha to chill, and she does. Nuggets tells them that if he weren't becoming religious, they would both be dead right now, so instead he lets them take his money and leave without the suitcase. Clappy and Nuggets then leave with the suitcase, and the movie ends.

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  6. Sorry for not updating this in a super long time, but I've added 25 new games, with more to come over the next few days. You can find them at the top of the Games page under "New Additions". With just under five months of Flash support left, there's not a lot of time left to play your favorite games, so if there's any I've missed, please let me know!

    • Like 2
  7. JCM Saves the School from Another Deranged Former Nickelodeon Star

    (Patback walks into shin's Korean restaurant, where JCM is wiping down the tables.)

    Patback: JCM! I've been looking all over for you!

    JCM: What do you want?

    Patback: I wanted to invite you to my graduation ceremony. Everyone will be there! HawkbitAlpha, Lightning McStorm, pretty much everyone who used to be a dick but is okay now!

    JCM: Even Person?

    Patback: No, he died again.

    JCM: Aww.

    Patback: Anyway, the ceremony will be tomorrow morning if you want to come.

    JCM: I definitely will!

    (The next day, JCM rides his scooter to the city's multipurpose arena. There, hundreds of people are gathered for the SpongeBob Community School's graduation ceremony. Jjs walks onto the stage to give his speech.)

    Jjs: It's crazy how much this school has grown in the past ten years. I would like to thank everyone for coming to celebrate the accomplishments of this wonderful graduating class. Thanks to these seniors, we finished with the highest score ever on the State Aptitude Exam. That's more money for the future, more money for the students, and more money for cocaine, I mean, more money for the students! And I would like to honor one student in particular, our valedictorian, magic the veenom! Magic will be giving our next speech.

    (Magic replaces Jjs on the stage.)

    Magic: Thank you, jjstheprincipal.

    (Magic takes a piece of folded paper out of his pocket.)

    Magic: Webster's Dictionary says

    Patback: Holy shit! It's Jerry Trainor!

    (Beloved actor Jerry Trainor walks into the arena and waves as everybody cheers him on.)

    Jerry Trainor: Thank you! Thank you! I love to be among fans!

    Magic: (annoyed) Yeah, yeah, that's great. Can I continue my speech now?

    (Jerry Trainor pulls out a gun.)

    Jerry Trainor: You're not doing shit!

    (Everybody in the arena panics. Jerry Trainor motions for Magic to leave the stage, and he does so reluctantly as Jerry Trainor replaces him.)

    Jerry Trainor: Now, I haven't been able to get a lot of work for a couple of years due to people thinking I'm "a drunk" and "unhinged".

    (Jerry Trainor drinks from a flask, and when he sees a person in the audience trying to tiptoe out of the area, he shoots that person in the head.)

    Jerry Trainor: Unhinged! Don't you think that's crazy?

    Jjs: Jerry, please! You don't have to do this!

    Jerry Trainor: Yes! I fucking do! All of you, start recording! When people see how funny I still am, they'll have to give me a new show! They'll have to!

    (Everybody in the audience take out their phones and start recording Jerry Trainor.)

    Jerry Trainor: Oh, yeah! Make sure you get my good side!

    (An audience member sprints to the door, and Jerry Trainor shoots him in the back.)

    Jerry Trainor: Come on, guys! You can do better than this! I haven't even started my comedy routine!

    (JCM finds HawkbitAlpha and Patback in the crowd.)

    JCM: What do we do?

    HawkbitAlpha: Don't do you have some kind of anime superpower you can stop him with?

    JCM: I...I can't. There's too many people.

    (In Washington DC, an FBI agent walks into the FBI director's office.)

    Agent: I have bad news.

    Director: What is it?

    Agent: Jerry Trainor is holding an entire building hostage.

    Director: Again? (sighs) Do what you need to do.

    (Back in the arena, Jerry Trainor is telling jokes on stage, and the audience is laughing at all of them nervously.)

    Patback: JCM, you have to do something.

    (JCM closes and opens his eyes.)

    JCM: Nope, nothing.

    Magic: Fuck this! I'm finishing my speech no matter what!

    Jjs: Are you insane?

    (Magic runs towards the stage.)

    Jjs: Magic! No!

    (Several FBI agents are in front of a door. One of them counts down from three before they all run in.)

    Agent: FBI! Stop what you're doing! Oh...shit! We got the wrong Jerry!

    Jerry Seinfeld: What's the deal with that?

    (Back in the arena, Magic climbs onto the stage. When Jerry Trainor notices him, he points his gun at Magic, but before he can pull the trigger, a blast of energy knocks the gun out of his hand, Jerry Trainor watches in horror as JCM floats above the crowd.)

    JCM: Leave Magic and everybody here alone!

    Jerry Trainor: Fuck you! (crying) All I wanted to do was have a show again! All I wanted to do was...feel wanted again.

    JCM: There are better ways to do that, Jerry. Please, just leave them alone.

    Jerry Trainor: (pauses) No.

    (Jerry Trainor goes for his gun, and JCM shoots another blast of energy at him that sends his body parts flying everywhere in a violent, bloody explosion. JCM sinks back into the crowd, and he closes and opens his eyes again, clearly upset at what he had just done.)

    JCM: I'm...a monster.

    HawkbitAlpha: You had no other choice.

    JCM: But was it really my choice to make?

    (JCM starts to leave the arena, but Jjs stops him.)

    Jjs: Hey, JCM, I've been pretty harsh to you these last few months. If you ever want to come back, my door is open.

    JCM: Thanks, but no thanks. I think I've had enough of SBC for one lifetime.

    Jjs: What if I offer you a teaching job? Dragiin's about to retire, so we'll be looking for somebody to teach PE.

    JCM: (pauses) Let me think about it.

    (JCM walks out of the arena, and then he walks back in a few seconds later.)

    JCM: Okay, I thought it about it. I'm in!

    (FBI agents run into the arena, clearly out of breath.)

    Agent: FBI...stop...what you're doing.

    JCM: I already killed him.

    Agent: Fuck me!

    (The End)

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  8. JCM Gets Trapped in a Video Game

    (JCM walks into the SpongeBob Community School, and Jjs immediately stops him.)

    Jjs: What the fuck are you doing here? I said if you entered the school again, you'd be charged for trespassing!

    JCM: Wumbo told me to come here!

    Jjs: Wumbo!

    (Wumbo runs out of his classroom.)

    Wumbo: JCM! You're here!

    Jjs: What the fuck are you up to now?

    Wumbo: You told me not to experiment on students and faculty anymore, so I rounded up a bunch of old faculty members to test out my new gaming system!

    Jjs: Why does it have to happen here?

    Wumbo: Because I set up the rig for the gaming system in our arcade room nobody uses anymore.

    JCM: Ooh, I forgot about that place!

    Wumbo: Come on! OMJ and Steel are already in there! Also, Jjs, could you teach the rest of my class? Those kids get pretty rowdy when they're by themselves for a while.

    Jjs: The fuck? No!

    Wumbo: Thanks! We'll be back in a jiff!

    (Wumbo and JCM go to the arcade room, where there is now a large machine with four Oculus Rift-like headsets connected to it. Steel Sponge and OMJ are already wearing two of the headsets.)

    JCM: What game are we going to playing on this?

    Wumbo: Something my friend sblover coded. It's one of those massively multiplayer online games, and it works perfectly with my gaming system!

    (Wumbo and JCM put on the two other headsets, and they immediately find themselves in a lush field with different bodies, Wumbo's now that of a large viking and JCM's now that of a fairy with large breasts.)

    JCM: What the heck?

    Wumbo: This is how you know men designed this game.

    (JCM flies around haphazardly.)

    JCM: I don't like this! Can I choose a different avatar?

    Wumbo: The game doesn't have that functionality yet. Sorry.

    (Wumbo and JCM meet OMJ, who has the body of a samurai, and Steel Sponge, who has the body of a centaur.)

    Steel Sponge: Does this horse butt make me look fat?

    Wumbo: Do you want the nice answer or the honest answer?

    (sbl, who now has the body of a Mongolian warrior, greets the four of them.)

    sbl: Hello! Welcome to my game!

    JCM: Can you please change me to something different?

    sbl: Why? Are your boobs not big enough?

    JCM: I AM A MAN!

    sbl: Calm down. It's just a game. Anyway, the war is about to start, so make sure you're all prepared for it.

    Steel Sponge: A war? That sounds fun!

    sbl: Well, try not to have too much fun, because if you die in the game, you'll die in real life.

    Wumbo: Wait, what? Why didn't you mention that to me before I installed it in my machine?

    sbl: Because then you wouldn't have installed it in your machine, silly! Don't worry. You're not the only sucker with a rising VR system I got to try this out. You'll have a lot of competition!

    JCM: I'm not doing this! How do we quit the game?

    sbl: The only way to leave the game is to win this coming war. You'll be fighting against several other teams of four, all looking for the same thing: this key.

    (sbl takes out a large 8-bit key, which then spins in his hand.)

    sbl: This is the key to the real world, and I'm the only one who has it.

    (Wumbo tries to take the key, and it dissolves before he can touch it.)

    sbl: I'll be streaming this on Twitch, so make sure you have your game faces on. Bye!

    (sbl disappears.)

    Steel Sponge: Why, Wumbo. Why would you trust a Twitch streamer?

    Wumbo: (crying) I'm sorry! I thought he was different!

    (The ground starts to shake.)

    Steel Sponge: Oh, my god. They're coming.

    JCM: I don't want to die in this body!

    OMJ: Don't worry. We're not going to die. We're going to fight.

    (A spear flies into OMJ's head.)

    OMJ: Fuck me.

    (OMJ dies.)

    JCM: Oh, my gosh!

    (Wumbo grabs OMJ's shield, and he throws it to Steel Sponge before covering himself as more spears and other projectiles fly towards them. JCM joins Wumbo under his shied.)

    JCM: How are we going to win this?

    Wumbo: Like OMJ said, we have to fight. And we're going to.

    (An enemy team breaks away from the chaos of multiple teams fighting in the distance, and Steel Sponge grabs one of the spears that bounced off his shield before charging at the team with JCM and Wumbo. Wumbo kills two of the players with his sword, and Steel Sponge kills another with his spear before the fourth member of the team jumps on the horse part of his body and stabs it, causing him to neigh loudly. JCM points at the player, and magic dust flies out of his finger, turning him into a butterfly. The butterfly flies to JCM and bites him.)

    JCM: Ouch! What did you do that for?

    Butterfly: You turned me into a fucking butterfly!

    JCM: Oh, right!

    (Wumbo crushes the butterfly between his hands.)

    Wumbo: They aren't shooting stuff at us anymore, so maybe they're low on weapons.

    Steel Sponge: I'm not about to get close to that clusterfuck to find out.

    (After several minutes of fighting, one team remains, and its members start running towards JCM, Wumbo, and Steel Sponge.)

    Wumbo: Get ready.

    Steel Sponge: Wait...do you see those names over their heads?

    Wumbo: Holy shit! Metal Snake, Tron, Cream, and Zaid! They joined the faculty of MLP High years ago! I totally forgot about them!

    JCM: Are we...still going to fight them?

    Steel Sponge: We have to.

    Wumbo: It's either them or us.

    Tron: Eat arrow, bitches!

    (Tron shoots several arrows at JCM, Wumbo, and Sponge Sponge, and Wumbo and Steel Sponge are able to block all of them with their shields.)

    Wumbo: Our turn.

    (Wumbo throws his sword into Zaid's chest, blocks another round of arrows, and pulls his sword from Zaid's chest before stabbing Tron with it.)

    Tron: Fuck...you.

    (After Tron dies, Cream uses a whip to wrap up Wumbo's sword and pull it away from him. As she runs towards Wumbo, he avoids cracks from her whip, and once she's close enough to swing at him with his sword, he struggles to block every swing with with his shield, getting cut several times. Steel Sponge engages with Metal Snake, who uses his own shield to block Steel Sponge's spear attacks while swinging at Steel Sponge with a flail.)

    Metal Snake: You'll pay for killing Tron!

    Steel Sponge: I can barely even afford to pay rent, motherfucker!

    (Steel Sponge drives his spear into Metal Snake's shoulder, causing Metal Snake to fall to the ground and cough up blood. Steel Sponge prepares to finish Metal Snake off, but then JCM flies in front of him.)

    JCM: Wait! I can't let you kill Metal Snake! We've had too many good times together at the school. We graduated together. There must be some other way to get out of this game.

    Metal Snake: You know there isn't, JCM.

    (Tears well up in JCM's eyes.)

    Metal Snake: Just get it over wi-

    (Steel Sponge drives his spear into Metal Snake's chest. As Wumbo fights Cream, he's able to recover his sword, then he wraps Cream's whip around his arm and pulls her into his sword, killing her. Steel Sponge, JCM, and Wumbo return to the middle of the field, and sbl appears with the key.)

    sbl: Congratulations! You've gotten us the most-watched Twitch stream of all time!

    JCM: Yes, but at what cost?

    Wumbo: To be fair, Metal Snake was kind of a dick anyway.

    (Wumbo grabs the key.)

    Wumbo: How do we use this thing to get outta here?

    sbl: It's mostly symbolic. You could have left at any time by clicking your heels three times and saying, "There's no place like Canada".

    Steel Sponge: What? Goddamn it!

    Wumbo: Goddamn it!

    JCM: Gosh darn it!

    (The End)

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  9. Previously on JCMovies

    Cha: Do you sell fortune cookies here?

    JCM: Here you go!

    (As JCM and Cha break their fortune cookies, they read the same fortune inside them:

    A journey soon begins
    Its prize reflected in another's eyes
    When what you see is what you lack
    Then selfless love will change you back)

    JCM: JCM...I think we just switched bodies.

    (JCM and Cha scream. Later that day, Cha is outside of the SpongeBob Community School talking to MCJ on her phone.)

    MCJ: Can we try again?

    Cha: I...guess so.

    MCJ: Meet you at my place at 8?

    Cha: Actually, I might need a little more time to think about

    (MCJ hangs up the phone.)

    Cha: Gosh darn it.

    JCM Walks Another Mile in Cha's Shoes

    (Cha knocks on the door of MCJ's house, and JCM opens it.)

    JCM: Surprise, motherfucker!

    (JCM punches Cha in the face.)

    Cha: (rubs cheek) So, I assume shinya wasn't able to figure out how to return us to our own bodies?

    JCM: No! And it certainly didn't help that you abandoned us! But that's not even what I'm most pissed about right now! Why in God's name would you agree to go on a date with MCJ?

    Cha: It kind of just...happened.

    JCM: First Sauce, now MCJ! Do you want to fuck all your siblings?

    Cha: Keep it down! He'll hear!

    JCM: I don't give a shit! You need to call it off!

    Cha: I can't! It would destroy him!

    JCM: He's a fucking asshole! Who cares?

    Cha: He's still my brother! Yeah, he can mean sometimes, and yeah, he's tried to kill me on more than one occasion, but he's family.

    JCM: Is this some kind of Thor/Loki thing you two have going on?

    Cha: Thor? Loki? Are those people from school?

    JCM: Literally, have you been alive these past ten years?

    MCJ: (from upstairs) Is everything okay?

    Cha: Yeah, MCJ! Just waiting for you to come down!

    JCM: (whispering) Fucking call it off.

    Cha: (whispering) No. I'll go on one date with him, and then I'll let him down gently.

    JCM: (whispering) You piece of shit. If we return to our own bodies, I'll fucking kill you.

    Cha: (whispering) Thank you for understanding.

    (MCJ comes down the stairs in a suit.)

    MCJ: Okay, I'm ready! You look beautiful as usual, Cha.

    (JCM gags.)

    MCJ: Is there something you want to say, brother?

    Cha: No, he's probably just choking on the air. Let's go!

    (MCJ and Cha leave the house and get into MCJ's car. He drives them to a high-end restaurant on the other side of town. They pass Michael Bolton, who's singing his greatest hits, on the way to their table.)

    MCJ: So, Cha, what have you been up to these last five years or so?

    Cha: Oh...you know...just living my best life.

    MCJ: Wow, that's great! So uh, you like steak?

    Cha: No, not really...

    MCJ: Waiter!

    (A waiter appears at the table seconds later.)

    MCJ: Steak for both of us!

    Waiter: You got it.

    Cha: What?

    Waiter: And what will you have to drink?

    MCJ: Champagne fine with you?

    Cha: No, it isn't!

    MCJ: Come on! Your name's in it! CHAmpagne! You need to try it at least once!

    Cha: I swear to gosh, MCJ!

    Waiter: I'll just get her water.

    MCJ: (sighs) Fine. Get me the biggest bottle of liquor you have, though.

    (The waiter nods before leaving.)

    Cha: Listen, MCJ, this isn't going to work. It's not that I don't like you, it's just that...I don't like you.

    MCJ: But...the date is just getting started.

    Cha: And I'm ending it. Bye, MCJ.

    (Cha starts to leave the restaurant, and MCJ follows her to where Michael Bolton is playing.)

    MCJ: At least let me drive you home!

    Cha: I'll take a cab. Also, the next time you think of calling me...don't.

    (As Cha walks out of the restaurant, MCJ turns back to his table with a heartbroken expression on his face.)

    Michael Bolton: (singing) TELL ME HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU?

    MCJ: Put a sock in it, asshole.

    (After MCJ returns to his table, the waiter returns with two plates of steak and one large bottle of liquor.)

    Waiter: Is she coming back?

    MCJ: Just give me the bill and leave me the fuck alone.

    (As MCJ starts drinking his liquor, Cha gets into a cab and tells the driver to take her to JCM's house. When she gets there, she knocks on the door, and JCM opens it.)

    JCM: Finished using my body for your sick, twisted version of twincest?

    (Cha breaks down into tears, and JCM awkwardly hugs her.)

    Cha: You were right! My brother is a jerk! I had to destroy him. I'm afraid to see what's left.

    JCM: Let's just focus on getting back into our own bodies before we have to deal with any of that.

    (JCM and Cha stand on opposite sides of the room.)

    JCM: One..two...three!

    (JCM and Cha run into each other head-first, and after they collide, they fall to the ground in pain.)

    JCM: That was a dumb fucking idea. Shit, maybe you're rubbing off on me. I have to get out of this body now.

    Cha: What was it that fortune cookie said before we switched bodies?

    JCM: I don't even fucking remember anymore. Something about selfless love?

    Cha: Selfless love! That's it! Cha...

    (Cha grabs JCM by the shoulders.)

    Cha: I love you.

    (Just as Cha says that, MCJ walks into the house.)

    MCJ: What the fuck?

    Cha: Wow! That was literally the worst time for me to say that!

    MCJ: It all makes sense now. Getting all my dad's affection wasn't enough for you! You had to take the only woman I ever loved away from me, too!

    Cha: Are...are you going to try to kill him again?

    MCJ: Of course! And after I'm done with that, I'll kill you, too! Be right back!

    (MCJ runs up the stairs and goes into his room, slamming the door behind him.)

    Cha: Cha...close your eyes.

    JCM: What? Why?

    Cha: Just...close your eyes, and try not to feel bad about what happens next.

    (JCM closes and opens his eyes. Suddenly, Cha faints. MCJ comes back down the stairs wielding an axe.)

    MCJ: You have no idea how many times I've dreamed about using this on you!

    (JCM points an open palm at MCJ and shoots a powerful blast of energy at him that severs his right arm.)

    MCJ: Ouch! What the fuck? That hurt!

    (MCJ swings the axe at JCM several times with his left arm, and JCM avoids every swing before grabbing the axe, breaking it, and kicking MCJ so hard that he flies through a wall. JCM closes and opens his eyes again and looks down at his hands.)

    JCM: Oh my gosh! I'm myself again!

    (JCM looks at Cha, who wakes up and smiles softly.)

    Cha: You did it. You broke the stupid Freaky Friday curse.

    (Cha faints again, and JCM calls an ambulance to pick up Cha and MCJ, who's bleeding profusely out of the socket his right arm used to be in.)


    (Cha is eating at shinya's Korean restaurant again. JCM walks up to her table.)

    JCM: Would you like some CHAmpagne?

    Cha: Huh? Do you sell that here?

    JCM: No, it was a joke. A bad joke, but still a joke, I guess.

    Cha: (nods) How's your brother?

    JCM: In a lot of hot water. Apparently, he drove home super drunk and killed a lot of pedestrians on the way there. A judge said he was planning to throw the book at my brother, which is a weird punishment. I would prefer they just lock MCJ up. He doesn't need anything getting thrown at him.

    Cha: You're a good person, JCM, even though you might not show it much.

    JCM: Thanks. You aren't half good yourself.

    Cha: I think you mean half bad.

    JCM: If it's half, does it really matter which way I go?

    Cha: You know, you're smarter than people give you credit for. Not much, but still.

    JCM: Thanks...I think?

    Cha: But your dick is much smaller than I thought it would be, and I thought it would be really, really small.

    JCM: Please stop talking.

    (The End)

    • Like 1
  10. JCM Walks a Mile in Cha's Shoes

    (Cha walks into Jjs' office at the Spongebob Community School, covered from head to toe in paint.)

    Jjs: What happened to you?

    Cha: I told g4ry I thought Sam Darnold was a mediocre quarterback. He didn't take it very well.

    Jjs: (nods) Anyway, as I'm sure you know, the big state test is coming up, and we'll need all hands on deck to ensure our students do as well as possible on the test and get this school as much funding as we possibly can.

    Cha: What does that have to do with me? I'm the art teacher.

    Jjs: For the next two weeks, every teacher will be required to dedicate at least 45 minutes a class to state test prep.

    Cha: 45 minutes? That's half the class!

    Jjs: Save the math for the students, Cha. I got my Masters so I wouldn't have to do that shit.

    Cha: (sighs) Just email me the revised curriculum. I'll be on my lunch break.

    (After taking a shower in the locker room, Cha drives to shinya's Korean restaurant. When she sits down at a table, JCM approaches her.)

    JCM: Hi there! Would you like a menu?

    Cha: JCM! How long have you been working here?

    JCM: About a month now. Usually I clean up after everyone's gone, but one of the waitresses called in sick.

    Cha: Well, I'm glad you're doing well!

    JCM: But I'm not doing well! I miss my old job. Just when I started to accept I would never be a teacher, now I can't step foot on the Spongebob Community School grounds without getting charged for trespassing.

    Cha: Trust me. Being a teacher isn't all it's cracked up to be. I would love to get away from the bureaucracy, the kids who don't appreciate what you do for them.

    JCM: (shrugs) Yeah, whatever. So, what do you want?

    Cha: Can I get some of your bulgogi?

    JCM: Sure!

    Cha: Also, do you sell fortune cookies here?

    JCM: Shinya!

    (Shinya comes out of his office.)

    Shinya: What?

    JCM: Do you sell fortune cookies here?

    Shinya: No, they only do that at Chinese restaurants.

    JCM: Wait just a sec, Cha!

    (JCM leaves the restaurant, and a few seconds later, he walks back into it.)

    JCM: I've got them!

    Shinya: What? How?

    JCM: The lady from the Chinese restaurant down the street gave them to me. Here you go, Cha!

    (JCM gives Cha one of the two fortune cookies he's holding.)

    Cha: Thanks!

    Shinya: JCM, there isn't a Chinese restaurant anywhere near here.

    (As JCM and Cha break their fortune cookies, they read the same fortune inside them:

    A journey soon begins
    Its prize reflected in another's eyes
    When what you see is what you lack
    Then selfless love will change you back)

    Cha: Is this one of those Chinese raps?

    JCM: Uh, JCM...

    Cha: What?

    JCM: I think we just switched bodies.

    Cha: Oh.

    (JCM and Cha scream.)

    Shinya: Goddamnit, I know what's going on. Wait just a minute. I'll get this fixed.

    (Shinya leaves the restaurant.)

    JCM: Oh, man. I hope Shin fixes this. I can't go back to work looking like this.

    Cha: Oh my gosh! This is like that Spongebob episode, The "Oh gee's" Always Greener!

    JCM: The what?

    Cha: I'll be back, Cha! I'm just gonna spend the rest of the day living out my dreams!

    JCM: What the fuck?

    (Cha leaves the restaurant.)

    JCM: JCM, get back here!

    (Shinya walks down the street and finds the vacant building that used to be Kat's Delicious Tacos has a banner hung over it saying "Very Good Chinese Food Place." Shinya walks into the building and sees an old Asian lady behind the counter.)

    Lady: Oh, hello! Would you like fortune cookie?

    Shinya: Cut it out, Elsa. I know it's you.

    (The lady transforms into Elsa.)

    Shinya: Why are you still shapeshifting and fucking around with people?

    Elsa: Because it's fun! 

    Shinya: Well, it's bad for business. Now, come with me so you can change them back.

    Elsa: The only thing that can change them back is selfless love. You know that thing about magic. It always comes with a cost.

    Shinya: Fuck you, Elsa.

    (Shinya leaves the building. At the Spongebob Community School, Cha walks into her classroom, clearly in awe of what's going on.)

    Prez: Hi, Miss Cha!

    Cha: Miss Cha! I like that!

    Prez: I did another Squnschfuck drawing for my latest assignment.

    Cha: Squnsch...what?

    Prez: Remember? It's that crossover I made between Squidward and the obscure German cartoon, Wunschfuck.

    (Prez reveals a drawing of Squidward standing with a cat that has a massive human penis.)

    Cha: W...why?

    Prez: You told me to draw what I love!

    Cha: Well, have you tried loving things that are less weird?

    (Prez crumples the drawing up.)

    Prez: Fuck you, you heartless bitch!

    (Prez runs out of the classroom in tears.)

    Cha: Wait! Prez! (sighs) So, what does Cha...I mean, what do I usually talk about around this time?

    Dmandaman: You were explaining the various art movements. Last time, you were talking about Dada.

    Cha: Whose dada?

    Dmandaman: Are you okay, Miss Cha?

    Cha: Yeah, just...draw whatever you like. But make sure to keep private parts out of it.

    (After class is over, Jjs stops Cha in the hallway.)

    Jjs: Cha. Office. Now.

    Cha: Ooh, are we playing a game? This. Is really. Fun. Wait, I think I did two words for one of them! Let me try again!

    Jjs: What the fuck is wrong with you? Come with me to my office now!

    (Jjs and Cha walk to Jjs' office.)

    Jjs: So, Cha, what is this I hear about you crushing Prez's dreams? You're supposed to wait until after they've spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on a college degree before doing that! It's like you're new to education!

    Cha: I...I'm sorry.

    Jjs: And did you use one bit of that test prep I gave you for that class you just taught?

    Cha: What test prep?

    Jjs: Take the rest of the day off, Cha. It's obvious you aren't yourself right now.

    Cha: I...I'm totally myself! I've never been more myself! I'm the same old Cha you hired five years ago!

    Jjs: Nuggets hired you.

    Cha: Same difference.

    Jjs: My decision is final. Go home. And whatever you did during that lunch break...don't do it again.

    (Cha walks out of the school sadly. She feels something vibrate in her pocket, and she takes a cell phone out with MCJ's name on the screen and green and red phone icons under it.)

    Cha: MCJ?

    (Cha taps the green icon, and she puts the phone to her ear.)

    MCJ: (over the phone) Hey, Cha, I know you told me not to call this number anymore, but I just can't stop thinking about you. Can we try again?

    Cha: I...guess so.

    MCJ: Really? Fuck yeah! I know this perfect place we can go tonight! It's very upscale. It even has Michael Bolton doing the music tonight!

    Cha: (nervous) That sounds nice.

    MCJ: So, meet you at my place at 8?

    Cha: Actually, I might need a little more time to think about

    (MCJ hangs up the phone.)

    Cha: Gosh darn it.

    (That night, JCM knocks on the door of his house. MCJ opens it wearing a suit and a large grin on his face.)

    MCJ: Hello there. (frowns) Oh, it's you.

    (MCJ lets his twin brother into the house before closing the door behind them.)

    JCM: Got a date tonight?

    MCJ: Yeah, and you won't believe who it is with...Unlimitedcha!

    JCM: WHAT?

    (To be continued)

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  11. Here's the first episode of AfterXat to help everyone catch up with it before I send out the final episode tonight.


    Episode 1

    (CF's dad is sleeping in his prison cell when he's awoken by a knock. He makes out one of the prison officers between the cell bars.)

    Officer: You have a visitor.

    CF's dad: This late?

    (The officer shrugs and unlocks the cell, handcuffing CF's dad and taking him to the visiting area. When CF's dad sees who's on the other side of the glass screen, his heart nearly stops.)

    CF: Hi, dad.

    CF's dad: I-it's you!

    CF: Yeah, sorry for not visiting before today. I had to get over hating your guts and everything.

    CF's dad: (shakes head) It's fine. I'm just happy you're alive.

    CF: So...how long are you in for?

    CF's dad: 20 years with good behavior. I burned a lot of bridges trying to get you back, and I lost you anyway.

    CF: Hey, I'm here, aren't I?

    CF's dad: Nobody persuaded you to come? Like your friend Edgar?

    CF: Why would Edgar want me here?

    CF's dad: (pauses) No reason.

    CF: It did take a push, but I eventually would have visited you no matter what happened.

    CF's dad: So you forgive me? For everything? For your mother?

    CF: I don't know if I can forgive you for everything...but that doesn't mean I'll abandon you. For all your flaws, you do at least try to be a good father.

    CF's dad: I wish I tried harder. If I survive this prison term, I'm coming out a changed man.

    CF: I hope that's true.

    Officer: Alright, time's up. Back to your cell.

    (The officer takes CF's dad out of the visiting area, and CF is escorted out on her side as well.)


    (ding dong)

    gumby.pngSnuggyMush: hey

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: Hi there

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: Need help?

    gumby.pngSnuggyMush: yeah

    gumby.pngSnuggyMush: is it true that the fugitive four come on here?

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: No

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: Everything connecting this site to aliens is a lie perpetrated by the government

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: This site was run by a great man

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: A great human man

    gumby.pngSnuggyMush: was?

    gumby.pngSnuggyMush: what happened to him?

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: A member of the Fugitive Four killed him

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: And if I ever see him again I'm banning his ass

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: I know it was him who told the government Xat was run by aliens

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: And nobody uses Xat anymore because of it

    gumby.pngSnuggyMush: that's a shame

    gumby.pngSnuggyMush: this redesign is pretty cool

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: yeah

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: I haven't talked to the new owner yet but he's doing great work

    gumby.pngSnuggyMush: how do you know that the old owner is really dead?

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: I haven't seen him here in years

    gumby.pngSnuggyMush: maybe he was just taking a break

    (ding dong)

    owner_zpszchn65o2.png&key=e61902f447721d: Hello, Ace.

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: ...

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: Is it really you?

    owner_zpszchn65o2.png&key=e61902f447721d: Yes, it's really me

    owner_zpszchn65o2.png&key=e61902f447721d: That "great human man"

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: Wait a minute

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: Last time I talked to you you were acting really strange

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: And the last last time I talked to you you were John Brennan

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: How do I know it's really you now?

    owner_zpszchn65o2.png&key=e61902f447721d: Because only I would remember the shy 13-year-old boy who came in here ten years ago asking for help setting up a Xat for himself and his Runescape buddies

    owner_zpszchn65o2.png&key=e61902f447721d: Only I would remember the long personal conversations you had with me about your school life, your family, that silly off-and-on thing you had with that girl

    owner_zpszchn65o2.png&key=e61902f447721d: What was her name, Elizabeth?

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: Okay

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: I believe you

    owner_zpszchn65o2.png&key=e61902f447721d: Good

    owner_zpszchn65o2.png&key=e61902f447721d: Where are the other admins I appointed for this Xat?

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: It's just me now

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: The others never came back after the CIA took Xat down but I've always remained loyal

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: Holding out hope that I'd see you again

    owner_zpszchn65o2.png&key=e61902f447721d: Well, here I am

    owner_zpszchn65o2.png&key=e61902f447721d: How is it just us two?

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: Like I said

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: The alien shit really hurt activity

    owner_zpszchn65o2.png&key=e61902f447721d: Well, I'm hoping I can change that

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: If anyone can do it, it's you

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: By the way, Elizabeth and I are engaged now

    owner_zpszchn65o2.png&key=e61902f447721d: Holy shit

    owner_zpszchn65o2.png&key=e61902f447721d: A lot can happen in two years

    79iFZfs.png Flying Ace: You're telling me

    New York

    (John Brennan sits down at a bar in Trump Tower. He immediately recognizes the bartender as Hayden.)

    Brennan: What are you doing here?

    Hayden: Serving you shit that's bad for you. What are you doing here?

    Brennan: This is the only bar I could go to where I knew there wouldn't be anybody else. I had to use my credentials just to get past security.

    Hayden: At least you don't have to get the daily pat-downs like me.

    Brennan: Not unless I ask for one. Think you can pour me a me a few glasses of vodka?

    Hayden: That's what I'm paid for.

    (Hayden fills three glass cups with vodka and slides them to Brennan, who immediately downs one.)

    Brennan: My wife left me, you know. Took the kids. Said she couldn't handle me keeping secrets from her anymore.

    Hayden: (shakes head) I'm sorry. I mean it.

    Brennan: I know. But really, why are you here?

    Hayden: My new BFF Gina Haskel got me this job when I told her I couldn't get work anywhere else due to my name. I probably should have told her I hated being around alcohol, but she probably knew that.

    Brennan: Aren't you a millionaire? At least that's what I saw when I tried to seize your assets.

    Hayden: You didn't need to. The FBI took most of it when I couldn't explain to them where I got all of my money from. Not even Haskel could help me in that department.

    Brennan: So tell me..where did you get all that money from?

    Hayden: Mr. Brennan, do you believe in time travel?

    (Hayden and Brennan both laugh.)

    Brennan: (holds up a glass) Want a shot?

    Hayden: No, I'm not much of a fan of poisoning myself.

    Brennan: Suit yourself.

    (Brennan drinks the second glass of vodka then the third.)

    Brennan: What do I owe you?

    Hayden: It's on the house.

    (Brennan nods then starts to leave before turning around.)

    Brennan: I want you to know that as hard as things are right now, they'll get easier.

    Hayden: Do you think I'll ever not be miserable?

    Brennan: (pauses) I think both of us have hit bottom, and there's nowhere to go but up.

    (Brennan turns back around and leaves Trump Tower.)

    Hayden: (to himself) Nowhere to go but up. How many times have I said that to myself now?


    (Abney is reading through legal documents in his apartment when he hears a knock on the door.)

    Abney: I'm coming!

    (Abney opens the door to find a man with a ski mask standing there and pointing a gun at Abney's face.)

    Abney: What do you want?

    Masked man: I want you dead.

    (The masked man pulls the trigger and quietly closes the door as Abney bleeds to death inside. The masked man opens an app on his phone that contains the real names of Abney, CDCB, CF, Trophy, and Hayden, respectively. He taps Abney's name, and a green check mark appears beside it.)

    Masked man: One down, four to go.

    (The masked man gets into a car and drives away into the darkness.)


    And that's it! Sorry for the wait, but at least I have proof now that that I haven't been doing nothing for six months. The rest of the episodes should come out a lot faster. Until then, enough said, XTTrue Believers!

  12. JCM Rumbles with a Rival Restaurateur

    (JCM is sweeping the floor of shinya's restaurant when shinya walks out of his office.)

    shinya: JCM, I need your help.

    JCM: Did somebody have explosive diarrhea in the restroom again?

    shinya: No, I just found out this girl Katniss is opening a Mexican restaurant across from ours.

    JCM: Why would she do that? Doesn't she know Trump is deporting all the Mexicans? She'll have no business!

    shinya: JCM, you do realize it's not just Mexicans who eat at Mexican restaurants, right?

    JCM: (scoffs) Sure!

    shinya: This is a Korean restaurant, but most of our customers aren't Korean.

    JCM: This is a Korean restaurant?

    shinya: Goddamnit, JCM! The point is, Katniss's new restaurant will steal customers from ours, so I need you to try and convince her to open it somewhere else.

    JCM: You asked the right person! You might not know this about me, but I'm a master of seduction.

    shinya: I...didn't know that about you, and I doubt it's true.

    JCM: Just you wait! When I'm done with her, she won't open that Spanish restaurant anywhere near this one!

    shinya: Just don't do anything that will get you arrested, cause I'm not paying your bail.

    JCM: You got it!

    (JCM walks to Kat's Delicious Tacos, which is still being set up across the street from shinya's restaurant.)

    JCM: Hi there!

    Kat: Sorry, we don't open for another month.

    JCM: It's not about that. I was wondering if...you could open this place somewhere else.

    Kat: Do you work for shinya? I told that asshole I'm not moving my restaurant!

    JCM: Come on! Nobody's gonna want to eat Mexican food when there's a better Chinese place across the street!

    Kat: I thought he sold Korean food.

    JCM: I'm pretty sure it's Chinese.

    Kat: Well, it's like a great philosopher once said: "Haters gonna hate, players gonna play, but I'm just gonna shake, shake it off".

    JCM: That philosopher must have been very wise.

    Kat: ...it's Taylor Swift.

    JCM: Who's he?

    Kat: (sighs) Tell shinya I'm not moving my fucking restaurant. If he's so afraid of the competition, he can move his.

    (JCM walks back to shinya's restaurant sadly.)

    shinya: Were you able to seduce her?

    JCM: No, but I'm just getting started. Where's the nearest costume shop?

    (JCM returns to Kat's Delicious Tacos wearing a suit, a top hat, and a big fake mustache.)

    JCM: Hello, I'm J...ack!

    Kat: Jay Ack?

    JCM: Yeah! I'm a health inspector, and I'm here to inspect your restaurant...for health things!

    Kat: I know it's you, JCM.

    JCM: JCM? Who's JCM?

    (Kat rips JCM's mustache off.)

    JCM: You...you fail the inspection! Time to close your restaurant!

    (Kat kicks JCM so hard that he flies out of her restaurant and into shinya's.)

    shinya: It didn't work?

    JCM: I knew I should have gotten help from ACS!

    shinya: Just forget it.

    JCM: No! I made you a promise, and I'm going to keep it! Even if I have to blow Kat's restaurant up!

    shinya: Wait, what?

    (JCM runs out of the restaurant, and shinya follows him to Explosives R Us.)

    shinya: Why is this store a thing?

    JCM: Don't worry, shinya! Kat's Delicious Tacos won't be delicious or tacos anymore because it won't exist! Because I'll blow it up!

    shinya: (sighs) JCM, I fucked up. I never should have asked you to do this. I'm sorry.

    JCM: Apology accepted! Now let's get some TNT!

    (shinya punches JCM in the face, knocking him out.)

    shinya: That...I'm not sorry for.

    (The next day, JCM is mopping up the floor of shinya's restaurant with a black eye. Kat walks into the restaurant and laughs when she sees JCM's face.)

    Kat: What happened to you?

    JCM: I fell...onto shinya's fist.

    (shinya comes out of his office.)

    shinya: What are you doing here, Kat?

    Kat: Well, I just wanted to let you guys know you won. An actual health inspector came this morning, and I thought it was JCM faking again, so I tried to rip off his mustache, which was very real, and got that health inspector very pissed off, so he's shutting down my restaurant.

    JCM: Yay! (flinches) Ouch.

    Kat: Fuck you!

    (Kat storms out.)

    shinya: Well, JCM, I guess I owe you an apology.

    (shinya walks back into his office.)

    JCM: So...am I getting it? Shinya? Shin? Shinjitsu?

    (The End)

    • Like 1
    • God Himself 2
  13. Patrick Star Wars Episode III: The Rise of Starwalker

    Part 2: The Dead Speak! or smth

    (The Millennium Fruit lands on the jungle planet the Resisty base is on. Pat Starwalker, SpongeSolo, and Garebacca walk out it and head towards the base.)

    Pat: Wait, why are we here again?

    SpongeSolo: Because Darth Planktor is alive and up to something sinister!

    Pat: What? Darth Planktor is alive? How did you find that out?

    SpongeSolo: Everybody knows, Pat. It was revealed in the latest season of Dorknite.

    Pat: I don't play that!

    SpongeSolo: Then you're the only person in the galaxy who doesn't. Now, come on!

    (As the three of them reach the base, Sandra, Rei, and Finn run out to greet them.)

    Sandra: SpongeSolo! I'm so glad you're here!

    SpongeSolo: What's the plan for Darth Planktor?

    Sandra: I had our best people study the video Planktor sent, and they're certain it came from Pluto, the planet Mickey Mouse lives on.

    SpongeSolo: Space barnacles! Imagine what Darth Planktor could do with that kind of money!

    Sandra: We aren't about to wait to find out. We're taking the fight to him now.

    Finn: Does that mean I'll finally get to do something?

    Sandra: Who are you again?

    (Finn grumbles as he joins the soldiers going into Resisty spacecraft.)

    Sandra: It's almost time. Will y'all be joining us on this mission?

    SpongeSolo: Well, you know, I'm getting up there in age, and this does sound pretty dangerous...

    (After the soldiers empty the base, Squidroid comes out.)

    Squidroid: That's the last of them!

    Sandra: Now or never.

    SpongeSolo: You know what? Yeah, let's do it!

    Pat: Do I get a say in this?

    Garebacca: Merowrowrow.

    Pat: No, you're a sissy!

    (Garebacca growls.)

    Pat: I-I was just kidding. (laughs nervously) You know I was just kidding, don't you, buddy?

    Squidroid: Must we bring that uncivilized beast with us?

    (Garebacca roars and rips off one of Squidroid's arms.)

    Squidroid: Aww...that was my favorite arm.

    Sandra: Save the fighting for when we get to Pluto!

    Squidroid: Alright, you heard her. Give me my arm back.

    (Garebacca shakes his head and goes into the Millennium Fruit with Squidroid's arm.)

    Sandra: We'll get you a new arm. Let's go!

    Rei: Am I coming with you?

    Sandra: No, make sure the geezers are okay.

    SpongeSolo: Hey, I heard that!

    Pat: So did I! (whispers) What's a geezer?

    (SpongeSolo, Pat, and Rei go into the Millennium Fruit as Sandra and Squidroid join their soldiers on one of the spacecraft.)

    SpongeSolo: Ready for one more ride?

    Pat: Guess I don't have much of a choice, do I?

    Rei: You'll be fine! You have the Force.

    Pat: (sighs) But so does Planktor.

    (The Millennium Fruit follows the Resisty ships to Pluto. When the first ship lands, a droid greets the first soldiers who walk out of it.)

    Droid: Welcome to Mickey's World, the happiest place in the galaxy!

    Soldier: Where's Mickey?

    Droid: Mickey Mouse is an extremely busy rodent, but if you want, I can schedule an appointment with him.

    (Suddenly, the planet starts to shake, and the ground behind the droid sinks. Mickey's ship rises out of it, and the soldiers point their laser guns at it as more Resisty ships land behind them. Mickey comes out of his ship with his hands raised.)

    Mickey: To what do I owe the honor? Ha ha!

    Soldier: We've got intel that you're harboring a dangerous criminal on this planet.

    Mickey: That's a serious accusation! Ha ha! Do you happen to have any proof to back it up?

    (Sandra comes out of her ship, and the soldiers let her pass.)

    Sandra: That video Darth Planktor sent everybody was filmed on this planet. He is on this planet, and we believe you're working with him.

    Mickey: The thing about belief is...it's not the same as evidence. If you don't have any proof to bring me, I must ask you to leave. Ha ha!

    Sandra: We'll do no such thing!

    Mickey: Then I'm sure the Galactic Police would love to hear about you threatening the richest mouse in the galaxy with an army that I don't believe is registered with them. Tell me, is that belief correct, Princess...oh, I'm sorry...General Sandra?

    (Sandra clenches her fists then turns around.)

    Sandra: Alright, fall back. There's nothing to find here.

    (As the Millennium Fruit lands, the Resisty ships start flying off the planet.)

    Pat: Did we win already?

    Rei: No...they're retreating.

    (They watch as Mickey walks back towards his ship. As he does so, he takes out his phone.)

    Mickey: Now's the time. Send the fleet.

    (Hundreds of ships with Chumpire insignia fly over Mickey seconds after he gives the order. When Sandra notices the ships, she immediately grabs her walkie-talkie.)

    Sandra: Go into hyperspace! Now!

    (All of the Resisty ships travel into hyperspace, but the opposing ships are right behind them.)

    Sandra: Oh, no.

    (As they reach the jungle planet, the opposing ships start shooting at them. Some of the Resisty ships return fire, but most of them are easily destroyed. The ship Sandra is on is able to avoid most of the blasts and gets clear of the fighting as it prepares to go into hyperspace again.)

    Squidroid: General...do you see what I see?

    (Sandra turns in the direction Squidroid is looking and sees a replica of the Death Bucket, ten times larger than the original, join the opposing ships.)

    Squidroid: I have a bad feeling about this.

    (The Death Bucket fires a laser at the jungle planet that blows it up.)

    Squidroid: That's probably why.

    (As Sandra's ship goes into hyperspace, she and the rest of the ship's passengers reflect on the destruction of the rest of the Resisty and their base. A wipe transition takes us back to Pluto, where SpongeSolo is hiding the Millennium Fruit under leaves and sticks he got from the forest. When he feels its suitably hidden, he goes back into the ship.)

    Pat: What do we do now?

    SpongeSolo: Live out the rest of our days in the Fruit, maybe? I've got a bunch of Krabby Packets in the back.

    Pat: Say no more!

    (Pat runs to the back the ship as Rei approaches SpongeSolo.)

    Rei: Are we really going to spend the rest of our lives hiding from Darth Planktor?

    SpongeSolo: You saw those ships. The Resisty is toast.

    Rei: But we're here, and we can still stop him! I may just be a scavenger, but you, Pat, and Sandra have been fighting the Chumpire and those looking to bring back the Chumpire for over 30 years now! You can't give up on that now! We can't give up on it now! 

    SpongeSolo: Sure, we can! Isn't that right, Pat?

    (Pat is lying in the back of the ship with an extended belly and several empty Krabby Packets around him.)

    Pat: Hey, SpongeSolo, you know where the rest of the Krabby Packets are?

    SpongeSolo: (furious) Those were all the Krabby Packets!

    Pat: Oh...I think we're out.

    Garebacca: Merowrowrow.

    SpongeSolo: (sighs) You win, Rei. Whatever Darth Planktor will do to us should be quicker than starving to death.

    (As the ships with Chumpire insignia return, Pat, Rei, and SpongeSolo follow them on foot. Suddenly, they hear loud beeping from where SpongeSolo hid the Millennium Fruit.)


    (They hear laser blasts, and the Millennium Fruit explodes.)

    SpongeSolo: No! I left Garebacca in there to keep him safe! (crying) What have I done?

    Rei: We'll avenge him. Don't you worry, SpongeSolo. We'll avenge him.

    (They reach the headquarters of Mickey's company, and they watch as ships land in front of the building and Mickey motions them inside one by one. After all of the ships are accounted for, Mickey meets Darth Planktor on the top floor of the company headquarters.)

    Mickey: It's done. Ha ha! The Resisty has been defeated.

    Darth Planktor: No...some of them are still alive...on this planet.

    Mickey: That's impossible! Ha ha! I watched all the Resisty ships leave!

    Darth Planktor: You missed...one.

    Mickey: Listen, I've given you as much as money as you wanted to carry out your plan! Ha ha! We have our fleet, we have our Death Bucket, so we should start conquering other planets now!

    Darth Planktor: No! Not until...the Resisty...has been snuffed out!

    Mickey: How do even know there are still Resisty fighters on my planet? Ha ha!

    (A stormtrooper knocks on the door.)

    Stormtrooper: Boss, there's something you need to see.

    Mickey: Come in!

    (The stormtrooper walks in with a handcuffed Garebacca beside him.)

    Garebacca: Merowrowrow.

    (Mickey's eyes widen.)

    Mickey: Grab the other stormtroopers and search Pluto for any more enemy combatants! Ha ha! We win this war today!

    (SpongeSolo, Pat, and Rei watch as stormtroopers storm out of the company headquarters.)

    SpongeSolo: Do you think they know we're here?

    Rei: Probably.

    Stormtrooper: I heard something in the bushes!

    (Three stormtroopers go into the bushes, and they come back out seconds later.)

    Stormtrooper: Nevermind, it was just the wind.

    (That night, Mickey is about to fall asleep in his office when he hears a knock on his door.)

    Mickey: Come in! Ha ha! This better be good.

    Stormtrooper: I'm just here to inform you we were unable to find the people you were looking for.

    Mickey: You finished the search that quickly?

    Stormtrooper: Yes. We stormtroopers are known for our efficiency, after all.

    Mickey: (nods) Thanks for letting me know. Report to the bottom floor for your next assignment.

    Stormtrooper: Next...assignment?

    Mickey: Yeah, did you think you were just going to stand around and do nothing all night? Go to the bottom floor with the other stormtroopers and someone will be there to tell you what to do.

    Stormtrooper: Yes, sir.

    (The stormtrooper leaves the office and takes off his helmet to reveal SpongeSolo underneath. Two other stormtroopers are waiting for him.)

    Stormtrooper: (with Rey's voice) Did he buy it?

    Stormtrooper: (with Pat's voice) This thing's itchy!

    SpongeSolo: Shh! We can't let them find out who we really are!

    (SpongeSolo puts his helmet back on and heads to the elevator with the others.)

    Pat: Where are we going?

    SpongeSolo: The bottom floor. If we're lucky, one of Mickey's ships is down there and we can use it to escape.

    (Our heroes take the elevator to the bottom floor, and they find a row of prison cells down there.)

    Pat: Man. Who's getting locked up?

    Garebacca: Merowrowrow.

    (SpongeSolo runs to Garebacca's cell, and Pat and Rei follow him.)

    Pat: I can't believe it! They cloned Garebacca!

    Rei: I don't think he ever died, Pat.

    Pat: Wow!

    SpongeSolo: So you're saying I went through all of that emotional devastation for nothing?

    Darth Planktor: No! Think of all the friends we made along the way!

    (They turn around to find Darth Planktor standing in front of them.)

    SpongeSolo: Hi...boss!

    Darth Planktor: Don't bother. I know who all of you are.

    Rei: We're your loyal stormtroopers!

    (Darth Planktor raises an arm, and Rei's helmet flies off.)

    Darth Planktor: Hello, scavenger.

    (Darth Planktor raises his other arm, and SpongeSolo's helmet flies off.)

    Darth Planktor: SpongeSolo.

    (Darth Planktor raises an eyebrow, and Pat's helmet flies off.)

    Darth Planktor: And who can forget the legendary Pat Starwalker?

    Rei: Whatever you're planning to do, Darth Planktor, we won't let you!

    Darth Planktor: And how exactly do you plan to stop me? To stop us? You're on our home turf!

    (Darth Planktor holds out an open palm, and Rei flies to the opposite wall.)

    SpongeSolo: Rei!

    (SpongeSolo takes a lightsaber out from inside his stormtrooper outfit, and Darth Planktor flicks his head to make the lightsaber fly out of SpongeSolo's hands.)

    Darth Planktor: (laughs) Could it get any easier?

    (Pat takes out his own lightsaber and charges at Darth Planktor with it. He stops right as it touches Darth Planktor's chest, and he's unable to move any further.)

    Darth Planktor: I sense the Force within you, but it's weak, disorganized. Not a challenge at all!

    (Darth Planktor motions to a cell, and Pat flies to the cell, hitting it hard.)

    Pat: (dazed) Where's the leak, ma'am?

    (Darth Planktor then turns to Garebacca's cell.)

    Darth Planktor: I kept you alive because I thought I may have to use you as a hostage. Unfortunately for you, my competition turned out to be much weaker than expected.

    (Darth Planktor points a hand at Garebacca, who starts to choke. SpongeSolo recovers his lightsaber and runs towards Darth Planktor, but the villain simply raises his other hand to make SpongeSolo fly into the ceiling, knocking him out. Just as Darth Planktor is about to kill Garebacca, he feels something pulling at him, and he releases Garebacca from his grip. He looks at Pat, who is still dazed, and then he looks at Rei, who is pointing an open palm at Darth Planktor out of desperation.)

    Darth Planktor: So, you're not just a scavenger after all!

    (Rei lowers her hand as Darth Planktor uses the Force to fly towards her.)

    Darth Planktor: Of course, you were never just a scavenger. You could never have been, considering who your parents are.

    Rei: What are you talking about? My parents were nobodies.

    Darth Planktor: And do you think Darth Planktor is my actual name? No, my real name is Sheldon...Nobody!

    (Rei gasps.)

    Darth Planktor: Come with me, daughter, and we'll rule this galaxy as its king...and as its princess!

    Rei: Never!

    Darth Planktor: Then you'll suffer the same fate as all else who oppose me!

    (Rei flies towards the wall again.)

    Darth Planktor: Now that the rest of the Resisty is good as dead, it's time to set my plan in motion!

    (After Darth Planktor leaves, Pat begins to hear Obi-Wan Krabnobi's voice in his head.)

    Obi-Wan Krabnobi: Use the Force, Pat. Use the Force.

    Pat: W-what? Huh?

    Obi-Wan Krabnobi: Use the Force, you idiot!

    (Pat nods then gets off the ground as his lightsaber flies into his hand. He wakes Rei and SpongeSolo then frees Garebacca before heading to the elevator.)

    SpongeSolo: Where are we going?

    Pat: To Mickey's ships.

    Rei: You know where they are now?

    Pat: I know where everything is!

    (SpongeSolo, Pat, Rei, and Garebacca take the elevator to the main floor. Pat finds a secret hatch near the elevator that opens a garage containing the spacecraft with the Chumpire insignia. Before they can go into one of the spacecraft, they hear the garage door slam shut, and they turn around to find Mickey Mouse standing in front of it.)

    Mickey: That ship doesn't belong to you! Ha ha!

    SpongeSolo: Don't make this more of a problem than it needs to be, mouse.

    Mickey: You know as soon as you fly that thing, I can just have Darth Planktor crash it into a tree, right? Ha ha!

    SpongeSolo: You seem to forget we have people with the Force, too, or does Pat need to remind you of that?

    Mickey: No need! Ha ha! Every single one of those ships will need my approval to fly, anyway, and you won't get that approval unless you come with me and Darth Planktor to see how we intend to restore the Galactic Chumpire!

    SpongeSolo: Right.

    (SpongeSolo jumps into a ship and tries to turn it on, but it simply causes a red button to flash saying "ADMINISTRATOR APPROVAL NEEDED".)

    SpongeSolo: (sighs) He is right.

    Mickey: Now, come on! Ha ha! You're about to miss the show!

    (Mickey and Darth Planktor leave the building with Pat, Rei, SpongeSolo, and Garebacca behind them. Suddenly, they're covered by a massive shadow, which shrinks as the Death Bucket gets closer to them.)

    SpongeSolo: It can't be...

    Mickey: Here it is! Every stupid reboot, remake, and sequel has led to this! The ultimate reboot! The ultimate remake! The ultimate sequel!

    Rei: Wow, you're taking that analogy and running right with it, aren't you?

    Darth Planktor: I'm glad you're all alive to see this, because it means you'll all be alive to witness your own failure.

    Pat: We haven't failed yet!

    (Pat runs towards the Death Bucket with open palms, then he feels himself rise off the ground before flying hard into the nearest tree.)

    Darth Planktor: Anybody else?

    (Rei, SpongeSolo, and Garebacca look down at their feet quietly.)

    Darth Planktor: Face it! The Resisty is dead, and soon the four of you will be dead, too!

    Rei: Are you sure the Resisty is dead?

    (As the Death Bucket lands, they're covered by another, even bigger shadow.)

    Darth Planktor: Huh?

    (The shadow is revealed to be a fleet of spacecraft from all over the galaxy, led by the two Resisty ships that survived Pluto's attack on them, one containing General Sandra and the other containing Finn.)

    Mickey: No! Ha ha!

    SpongeSolo: Seems like people finally got sick of what you were selling them, mouse.

    (The spacecraft fire lasers at the Death Bucket all at once, blowing it up and sending out a heat wave so massive that it singes everyone's hair, including most of Garebacca's fur.)

    Garebacca: Merowrowrow!

    SpongeSolo: It's okay, Garebacca! It'll grow back!

    Mickey: Time to send out my own fleet! Ha ha!

    (Mickey takes out his phone and dials several numbers on it.)

    Mickey: Mighty Starships of Pluto, advance!

    (All of Mickey's ships fly out of the building, and they get destroyed in seconds by the invading fleet.)

    SpongeSolo: Hope you had insurance on those mighty starships.

    Mickey: That's not funny! Ha ha!

    (The invading fleet surrounds the company headquarters, and General Sandra approaches Mickey Mouse and Darth Planktor, who are now holding up their hands with defeated expressions on their faces.)

    Sandra: By the power now vested in me by the Galactic Police, I put the both of you under arrest for conspiring to overthrow the New Republic.

    Mickey: You'll hear from my lawyers! Ha ha!

    Darth Planktor: You really think you can lock me up? You've got another thing coming!

    (Darth Planktor raises his hands, and lightning shoots out, destroying most of the invading spacecraft and repelling anybody who comes close to him. Rei screams and rushes towards Darth Planktor with both of her hands raised, and after he hits her with lightning, she sends it back to him, destroying his new armor and leaving him naked on the ground.)

    Darth Planktor: (gasping) Why...daughter...why?

    Rei: I'm not your daughter.

    (As Rei walks away, policemen handcuff Darth Planktor and Mickey and put them into one of their ships. Later that day, Rei is flying back to her planet with SpongeSolo, Pat, Finn, General Sandra, and Garebacca.)

    SpongeSolo: We did it. We won.

    General Sandra: Yeah. They certainly didn't make it easy.

    Rei: Where do I go from here, though? I'm...I'm a...

    General Sandra: You're a hero.

    (The episode ends on an iris out.)

  14. Patrick Gets Quarantined

    (Patrick walks into Spongebob's house and immediately hears a high pitched squeal.)

    SpongeBob: Patrick! What are you doing in here? Don't you know we're under quarantine?

    Patrick: What's a coor...eee...uh...

    SpongeBob: A quarantine is where you stay inside and don't interact with anyone so you don't spread that virus that's been going around.

    Patrick: But won't you get lonely?

    SpongeBob: No! I have Chip, Penny, and Brand New Napkin to keep me company!

    Patrick: What happened to Used Napkin?

    SpongeBob: I had to throw him away because he wasn't sanitary. We're all making sacrifices for the sake of public health, Patrick, and now you have to!

    Patrick: How?

    SpongeBob: By getting out!

    (Patrick leaves Spongebob's house sadly and goes to Squidward's house next.)

    Patrick: (knocks) Squidward, can I come in?

    Squidward: No.

    Patrick: Because of the quarantine?

    Squidward: No, because I hate you.

    (Patrick goes back into his rock with his head down.)

    Patrick: What am I supposed to do for the rest of this quarantine?

    (Patrick falls asleep, and he wakes up to the sound of knocking.)

    SpongeBob: Patrick, I have great news! The quarantine's over!

    Patrick: Already? I've only been asleep for a minute.

    SpongeBob: It wasn't a minute, Patrick.

    Patrick: Then how long was it?

    SpongeBob: Seven months.

    Patrick: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    (aaaat a twist!)

    • Funny 1
  15. 52. Jailbreak

    One night, Tyeam wakes up in a prison cell, but instead of bars, it's protected by an electromagnetic field. Tyeam gets past the field easily, and as she looks for a way out of the prison, she notices a boy crying in another cell, The boy, unlike Tyeam, is unable to get past the field, so Tyeam helps him through it. They hear singing from another cell, which alarms the boy. The boy runs towards the singing voice, and Tyeam follows him. On the way, they pass the cell crushingmayhem is in. Tyeam offers to help him out of the cell, but crushing refuses the help, saying it would violate his oath of neutrality. Tyeam asks crushing how he can stay neutral when one side is clearly more evil than the other, and crushing responds that there are "fine people on both sides". Tyeam gives up on trying to get crushing to come to his senses and continues following the boy.

    Tyeam is unable to find where the boy went, but she hears the singing again nearby. She finds that the song is coming from another boy in another prison cell, and when she asks the boy what his name is, he says "J12". Tyeam helps J12 out of his cell, and they reunite with the first boy soon-after, who reveals that his name is 6teen. Tyeam says that there was a show with that name a long time ago, and 6teen tells her not to remind him of that. 6teen and J12 kiss and do a dance before fusing into Teenj12. Tyeam is flabbergasted that the revelation that Teenj is a fusion, and when she asks if she made a good impression, Teenj tells her that they already love her. They hear 4EG raging at the fact Tyeam isn't in her cell, and Teenj kisses her on the forehead to give her the ability to see where Jjs and Patty Sponge are. Teenj tells her to get the others and go to the control bridge while he takes on 4EG. Tyeam asks Teenj if he'll be able to stop 4EG alone, and Teenj smiles before saying he's never alone.

    After Tyeam leaves, 4EG finds Teenj and makes fun of him for fusing again, saying that even the abilities of the two of them combined can't surpass his. Teenj, newly energized, beats up on 4EG as Tyeam rescues Jjs and Patty Sponge. Renegade tries to stop them as they reach the control bridge, but Patty Sponge and Tyeam beat up on him as Jjs takes control of the ship. Though Teenj defeats 4EG, he wrecks the ship's engines in the process, and he runs to the control bridge to let Tyeam, Patty Sponge, and Jjs know. Tyeam activates her shield, which puts a bubble around the four of them as well as Renegade just as the ship crashes and explodes, killing 4EG and crushing, much to Tyeam's dismay. The Bubble Buds congratulate Tyeam for saving the world, and Renegade, who found 4EG and the rest of the Homeworld Bubbles too imposing anyway, decides to join the Bubble Buds (and Tyeam) in keeping Earth safe from any corrupted bubbles and unfriendly alien visitors they encounter.

    Mayor SOF gets another term, Tyeam grows on her way to becoming a Bubble Bud herself, and everybody lives happily ever after.


    • Like 1
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  16. 51. The Return

    One day, Tyeam and Clappy are eating at Wumbo's Fry Shop, and as Tyeam tells him everything Renegade is capable of, Clappy asks her if she's sure that what she's doing with the Bubble Buds is worth all of the life threatening danger. Before Tyeam gets a chance to respond, the city shakes, and they notice a vibration coming from a giant hand in the sky pointing right at them. They meet the Bubble Buds outside of Tyeam's house, and they have Jelly's Jammin' Cannon pointed at the hand. They tell Tyeam to say the thing, and she says, "If nobody screwed up, we wouldn't have Movie 43," causing Beatles music to play as the Jammin' Cannon fires a laser at the hand, which easily blocks it. They take out more Jammin' Cannons and shoot more lasers at the hand, but none of them have any effect. Clappy asks them what they should do now, and Jjs says it's time for Plan B, heading back inside to get his teleportation device. Tyeam grabs one of his legs, saying that she won't leave the city, and Jjs tells her that if they fight the Homeworld Bubbles it would destroy the city and everybody in it anyway. Teenj suggests a compromise: they evacuate SOFCity then fight the Homeworld Bubbles.

    To get the evacuation started, Tyeam calls Mayor SOF, who's panicking about the giant hand in the sky. She tells him they need to evacuate the city, and Mayor SOF decides to hold a campaign rally in the middle of the city telling everyone how important evacuation is, while doing nothing to actually help them evacuate. Tyeam runs back to the Bubble Buds, and she finds them packing her items into Clappy's van. Tyeam is hurt at first, but the Bubble Buds assure her that her job is to keep the citizens of SOFCity safe, the job she inherited from her mother. After thinking on it for a moment, Tyeam agrees, and she gets into the van with Clappy going around town and rounding up whoever she can.

    As they drive out of the city, Clappy accidentally reveals that Homeworld Bubbles were there before, thousands of years ago, and that Jelly, Jjs, Patty Sponge, and Teenj were originally there as conquerors, not as allies. As Jelly bonded with the people of Earth, including and especially Clappy, she realized what the Homeworld Bubbles were doing to the planet was wrong, and she started a rebellion to drive them out. The rebellion led to massive loss of life for both sides, and Clappy is terrified at the prospect of something like that happening again. Tyeam realizes that she has to go back, and she tells Clappy that if he doesn't drive her, she'll find another way to return. Clappy refuses to turn the van around, and Tyeam punches the glove department in frustration, which sets off the airbag, which sets off her shield, which flies out the window with Tyeam inside it.

    Clappy runs out the van to make sure Tyeam is okay after she rolls down a hill and pops her bubble shield. Tyeam reiterates that she has to go back home and protect the Bubble Buds, and Clappy, understanding how fruitless it is to try and stop her, simply tells her to be careful. Tyeam tells Clappy to make sure everyone is safe, and as she wonders how she'll return home, her sea lion shows up just in the nick of time. She jumps onto the sea lion and rides it back into the city for the biggest fight of her life. She tries to call Dennis on her new phone, hoping to hear his voice one more time if she doesn't get out of SOFCity alive, but he doesn't pick up. When she finally reaches the Bubble Buds, she finds Jjs and Patty Sponge fused into Jjsponge and shooting giant arrows at the hand, to no avail. The hand begins to hurtle towards the Bubble Buds, and they close their eyes, expecting this to be the end for them. Suddenly, the hand stops just a few inches away from them and opens, revealing a bubble inside of it. The bubble expands and transforms into Renegade and his partner in crime, 4EverGreen.

    Tyeam catches up to the Bubble Buds just as Renegade and 4EverGreen get off their hand-ship. 4EG, who has crushingmayhem behind him as prisoner, expresses disappointment that he won't get more of a challenge on this planet. He orders Renegade to blast them with the ship, and crushing, who notices Tyeam but is committed to remaining neutral, doesn't say a word in protest. The other Bubble Buds scold Tyeam for disobeying their orders and tell her to leave before she gets herself killed, but she refuses, telling them that SOFCity is their home and she won't let them destroy it, that the Bubble Buds are her friends, and she won't let them destroy them. Jjsponge unfuses just as the giant hand rises in the sky, preparing to blast them. Tyeam runs in front of them and activates her shield, absorbing the energy of the blast to 4EG's astonishmest. 4EG orders crushing to explain why he didn't mention that Tyeam had Jelly's power before, and crushing said it wouldn't have violated his oath of neutrality to tell him, causing 4EG to slap him. 4EG tells Renegade to fire more lasers at the Bubble Buds as he confronts Tyeam. Teenj avoids the lasers as he tries to stop 4EG from taking Tyeam, but 4EG taps him with a sword that causes him to break into multiple pieces, to the horror of Tyeam and the other Bubble Buds. 4EG reveals that he fought against Jelly the last time he visited Earth thousands of years ago and respected Jelly's tactics, but her cloaking herself as a human child is simply pathetic in his eyes. He knocks Tyeam out, and the episode ends.

    • Happy 1
  17. 48. Shirt Club

    One day, Tyeam designs a logo for Clappy's new movie review site,  but she's unsure if it's good enough to show to him just yet. She shows it to he Bubble Buds, but none of them like it very much. Teenj recommends that she add a flaming cat to it, and when Tyeam asks why, Teenj says that flaming cats are cool. She goes to the Big Halibutt for a second opinion, and Halibut tells her the design is cool after glancing at it for a moment. ExKizuna, who's currently eating with Aya, interrupts Halibut to say that the design isn't cool and that he should know because he's one of the coolest kids in town. Ex shows Tyeam a shirt he designed with a cat wearing sunglasses as proof of how cool he is, and Tyeam asks, "What if the cat was on fire?"

    Ex is blown away by how cool that idea is, and he invites Tyeam to his Shirt Club to spitball more ideas with him. Aya, who had spent the last 20 minutes trying unsuccessfully to get Ex to invite her to his Shirt Club, storms off in a jealous rage. Halibut threatens to fire her if she leaves on the job again, but she ignores him. That night, Tyeam and ExKizuna make dozens of shirts in ExKizuna's basement. Tyeam wonders how they'll sell the shirts, and ExKizuna says with a michievous grin that they won't.

    The next day, they bring a t-shirt cannon to the Aquatic Arcade. Aquatic Nuggets warns them not to shoot t-shirts outside his place of business, and ExKizuna responds by shooting a t-shirt into his mouth. Aquatic Nuggets goes gangsta on Ex, and 20 mintues later, Ex is sitting outside of the arcade with Tyeam, a black eye, and a broken arm. Ex apologizes to Tyeam for being reckless, and he says he only behaved that way because he secretly had a crush on Tyeam and wanted to impress her. Tyeam says "Really?" and Ex says "Nah". They go their separate ways again, and the episode ends.

    49. The Message

    One day, Clappy and Tyeam are watching a movie together when they hear a screeching noise coming from Tyeam's house. Tyeam returns home to find the Bubble Buds unsuccessfully trying to quiet the Wailing Stone, the device Patty Sponge showed her all the way back in episode 19. They believe somebody is trying to send a message to them from space, but the message's signal is too advanced for the Wailing Stone to deciper. Tyeam thinks the message coming from the Wailing Stone isn't audio but video, and she believes that Clappy would be able to get it working with all of his video equipment. The Bubble Buds are skeptical, but they agree to seek Clappy's help.

    In Clappy's apartment, Clappy connects the Wailing Stone to his television and messes with the inputs until none other than crushingmayhem is speaking to them on the television screen. crushing says the Bubble Homeworld is very advanced now, and he warns the Bubble Buds that not only will Renegade return to Earth, but he'll be bringing someone with him. He tells the Bubble Buds not to fight, as it will only lead to them and their planet getting destroyed. Jjs and Patty Sponge are distressed at the news, but Teenj is calm, simply acknowledging that the message works now. Jjs thanks Clappy, and after the Bubble Buds leave, Tyeam and Clappy watch another movie, and the episode ends.

    50. Political Power

    One day, Jjs is testing his transportation device again, but this time with an alternate (and much more legal) source of energy: the city's power grid. The first time he runs it to transport himself across town and back, the power grid is so overwhelmed that it shuts off, cutting off power to every other house in the city. The next morning, Mayor SOF visits to tell the Bubble Buds to knock off whatever they're doing this time. Though he usually tolerates their antics, the power outage has been causing some of the people in the city to consider not re-electing SOF, which of course is unacceptable. Jjs tells him that the power will be back on tonight at the earliest and never at the latest. Mayor SOF threatens to start passing resolutions that limits what the Bubble Buds are allowed to do in the city, and not wanting to move, Tyeam promises to help Mayor SOF get the power back on.

    As Mayor SOF drives around the city promising that the power will be back on by tonight, he tells Tyeam, who's driving with him in the passenger's seat, that he lies to his citizens to ensure they feel safe and feel listened to when they are in fact unsafe and hardly, if ever, listened to. When Tyeam returns home, she overhears the Bubble Buds talking about what they heard from crushing, but they change the subject as soon as they notice Tyeam. The next morning, the power isn't on, and since it's a lie Mayor SOF isn't able to cover up like his other ones, the people start rioting. Tyeam confonts the Bubble Buds, asking what about Renegade makes them so worried, and they say that he's modern bubble with modern powers. and that alone makes him the most powerful adversary they'll ever have. Tyeam tells them they'll be more powerful than Renegade and whoever comes with him, and as they hug, the power turns on in every house in SOFCity.

    • Thanks 1
  18. 47. Tyeam Visits the SpongeBob Community School While the Grim Reaper Plays Unfitting Music

    (One day, Jjs is in the living room working on an invention. Tyeam walks out of her room and yawns.)

    Tyeam: What are you doing, Jjs?

    Jjs: I'm building a transportation device that should protect us when Renegade the Unicorn comes back.

    Tyeam: We're just going to flee?

    Jjs: You don't know the powers that we're dealing with, Tyeam. If we're unable to stop Renegade, we need a Plan B.

    Tyeam: I'm not leaving all my family and friends behind!

    Jjs: You can make new family and friends on whatever planet we go to.

    Tyeam: No!

    (Tyeam runs up to the device and kicks it. Suddenly, the lights on the machine start to blink.)

    Jjs: What did you just do?

    Tyeam: I...don't know.

    (Suddenly, the device disappears, and Jjs and Tyeam disappear with it. They reappear on a table in the back of Wumbology's science class at the SpongeBob Community School. Goobz is pointing a scalpel at them with his mouth agape.)

    Goobz: Mr. Wumbo, that frog I was supposed to dissect just turned into Principal Jjs and some girl I assume is his mistress!

    Tyeam: (blushes) Mistress?

    Jjs: Tyeam, he's pointing a weapon as us! Use your shield!

    Tyeam: Got it!

    (Tyeam's bubble expands to surround her and Jjs as he pulls out his sword.)

    Wumbology: Whoa! I thought we weren't allowed to hit students anymore, Jjs! Cutting Goobz into pieces is a little bit worse than hitting, I would imagine!

    Tyeam: Wumbo? Why aren't you at the fry shop?

    Wumbology: Why would I be at a fry shop? I've been on a diet for months!

    Jjs: Who are all these children and why are they poking amphibians with tiny swords?

    Goobz: You're not Principal Jjs!

    Jjs: I'm Jjs, but I'm not the principal of anything.

    (Tyeam pulls a squished frog out from under her.)

    Tyeam: Gross!

    Wumbology: Whoever you two are, I have to ask you to leave, since you're disrupting class.

    Jjs: We'll happily go as soon as we get our transportation device. (looks around) Where's the transportation device?

    Wumbology: Wait, transportation device? Throw away your frogs, everyone! Class is cancelled!

    (The students throw their frogs in a trash can and leave the room.)

    Wumbology: Tell me more about this transportation device.

    Jjs: Do you think you can help us find it?

    Wumbology: Well, I'm the smartest person at this school, so if anyone can help you find it, I sure can!

    Jjs: I built the device to help us escape from an evil being if we need to.

    Wumbology: Yeah, evil beings are super annoying. Well, since you obviously aren't our Jjs, you must be another Jjs, possibly one from a parallel universe.

    Jjs: I meant for the device to send us to other planets, not other universes! Tyeam kicking it must have done something to cause it to malfunction.

    Wumbology: And it could be anywhere in this universe or not even in our universe at all.

    Jjs: So, how do you intend to help us find it?

    Wumbology: Well, I imagine the machine must be causing quite a stir wherever it landed.

    (Patty Sponge runs into the room.)

    Jjs and Tyeam: Patty Sponge?

    Wumbology: Yeah, she's the vice principal at our school in this universe.

    Patty Sponge: What in the bloody hell is going on? Why did you cancel class?

    Wumbology: Patty Sponge, meet Earth 2-Jjs and...his mistress right?

    Tyeam: I'm not his mistress, and I have a name!

    Wumbology: Sure. Do you know if any strange machines landed near here, Patty?

    Patty Sponge: None that I know of, but pretty much all of the strange goings-on in this city will reach the ear of Mayor SOF eventually.

    Tyeam: SOF is the mayor here, too?

    Wumbology: The more things change, the more they stay the same.

    (Wumbo drives Tyeam and Jjs to Mayor SOF's office. sblover is standing in front of the door.)

    sblover: Stop! What brings you here?

    Wumbo: My friends are from another universe and need SOF's help to get back home.

    sblover: Do you know how many people we get every day from other universes? You'll have to do a lot better than that.

    Wumbo: C'mon, man. Help a fellow Canadian out.

    sblover: The only Canadian I'm here to help out is Mayor SOF.

    (SOF comes out of the office.)

    SOF: What's going on, eh?

    sblover: These three were just on their way out.

    Tyeam: No, we weren't.

    SOF: Since they're here, I'll allow them to speak.

    Wumbo: (bows) Thank you, mayor. I'm humbled by your gratitude.

    Jjs: (confused) Do they do that for every mayor in this universe?

    sblover: (bowing) Just the Canadian ones.

    SOF: Get up. Tell me what you have to say.

    Wumbo: O great and honourable mayor, have you heard of any strange devices landing in your city recently?

    SOF: (scratches chin) I did get a call from Shinya's restaurant about something flying through his ceiling. Trying to get city funds to rebuild it. Isn't that funny, sblover?

    sblover: (laughs) That is funny! It cracks me up!

    Jjs: I don't get it.

    (Wumbo kicks Jjs.)

    Wumbo: (whispering) You know, if I did this to our Jjs, I would have gotten fired.

    Jjs: (whispering) Do that to me again, and I'll drive my sword through you.

    Wumbo: I like our Jjs better!

    Tyeam: Come on! Let's go!

    (Wumbo drives Tyeam and Jjs to shinya's restaurant. When they walk inside, they see JCM mopping the floors.)

    JCM: Jjs! Are you here to give me my job back?

    Jjs: Who's the fat kid?

    Wumbo: That's JCM. He used to be one of my students. He isn't very smart.

    JCM: Hey! I heard that!

    Wumbo: I didn't mean that as an insult. It's simply an objective fact, like the world being round.

    JCM: (scoffs) If the world was round, why doesn't it spin like a hamster wheel when I run?

    Jjs: Hey! Stupid kid!

    JCM: Yeah?

    Jjs: What happened to the device that crashed through the ceiling?

    JCM: Shinya told me to look after it while he went to buy more fish.

    Tyeam: Where is it now?

    (JCM takes the transportation device out of his backpack.)

    JCM: Say, jjs, when did you get a mistress?

    Tyeam: Screw you!

    JCM: (gasps) Language!

    Wumbo: (chuckles) I say worse things than that every day in class.

    JCM: If this belongs to you guys, take it and get your potty mouths out of here!

    (JCM gives the transportation device to Jjs, but after studying it for a few minutes, he sighs.)

    Jjs: There's not enough fuel in here to take us back home. It wasn't designed for a round trip.

    Wumbo: What do you need?

    Jjs: An ounce of weapons-grade plutonium, probably. You have that in this universe?

    (Wumbo pulls the collar of his shirt.)

    Wumbo: We have it, but it's not exactly easy to get.

    (JCM takes an ounce of weapons-grade plutonium out of his backpack.)

    JCM: Only one?

    Wumbo: What in the name of SOF? Why do you have weapons-grade plutonium in your backpack?

    JCM: Do you really want to know the answer to that?

    Wumbo: No. Never mind. Forget I asked.

    (JCM gives the plutonium to Jjs, and he puts it into the teleportation device.)

    Jjs: Goodbye, Earth-2 Wumbo.

    Wumbo: You're Earth-2. We're Earth-1.

    Tyeam: Who even decides that?

    JCM: I thought Earth-1 was the universe where we all meet each other through a SpongeBob message board.

    Wumbo: (pauses) You're an idiot, JCM.

    (Suddenly, the Grim Reaper barges into the restaurant wearing a top hat and holding a cane sideways.)

    Grim Reaper: (singing) Hello mah baby, hello mah honey, hello mah ragtime gal!

    Jjs: Does he do that a lot?

    JCM: Yeah.

    Jjs: Okay, bye!

    (Jjs turns on the teleportation device, and he, Tyeam, and the device disappear. Back in their living room, they find Patty Sponge looking under the couch cushions.)

    Patty Sponge: I know they've got to be in here somewhere!

    Tyeam: Hi.

    (Patty Sponge jumps then turns around.)

    Patty Sponge: Tyeam! Jjs! I found you!

    Jjs: (rolls eye) Congratulations.

    Patty Sponge: Sherlock Sponge does it again! If you excuse me, I'll be drinking some celebratory tea.

    (After Patty Sponge walks into the kitchen, Jjs turns the teleportation device off and starts heading back to his room with it.)

    Tyeam: I'm not running away.

    Jjs: When the time comes...you're not going to have a choice.

    (Jjs goes into his room and Tyeam sits on the couch, reflecting on what has just happened. Patty Sponge soon sits on the couch beside her, sipping tea.)

    Patty Sponge: Wanna talk about it?

    Tyeam: No.

    Patty Sponge: Oh, bol-

    (The End)

    • Like 2
    • God Himself 1
  19. Has it been two weeks already? Here's ten episodes. JCMovies crossover coming tomorrow.

    37. Alone Together

    As Tyeam teaches Dennis how to dance, Tyeam and Dennis accidentally fuse, forming TyeamAssassin. When they show the Bubble Buds their new body, Jjs isn't a fan, but Teenj loves it, and he tells them to go have fun with their new fusion. They go to a rave, and they're the center of attention with their beautiful dance moves, but some loser tries to make them dance with him, and the Dennis part of TyeamAssassin is so annoyed that he's prepared to kill him, forcing Tyeam to unfuse with him before he gets them both sent to prison. The loser is so disturbed by what he saw that he finally leaves them alone, and the episode ends.

    38. The Test

    Tyeam finds out that the mission in Krabby Patty Backpack was a test of her ability to join the Bubble Buds on missions (a test she failed miserably) so she demands a new test.

    39. Future Vision

    Tyeam learns that Teenj can see into the future and becomes paranoid about the possible dangers around her.

    40. On The Run

    One day, Patty Sponge decides that she's flying back to the UK, and as Tyeam tags along, Patty Sponge tells her about her origin as a weapon in the original Bubble Buds' planned colonization of Earth.

    41. Horror Club

    Tyeam goes to the lighthouse to watch scary movies with WhoBob, Hal, and Aya. After watching their movies, she reveals her own: a vampire movie so messed up and violent that, after the movie is over, the other three agree never to invite Tyeam to the lighthouse ever again.

    42. Winter Forecast

    Tyeam has to try and get Dennis back to his place before a blizzard hits SOFCity, and Teenj shows her some future outcomes before they depart.

    43. Maximum Clapacity

    While cleaning out Clappy's storage unit, Tyeam and Patty Sponge get distracted watching episodes of The Office on Tyeam's new phone.

    44. Marble Madness

    When droids from space descend towards warp pad zones, Tyeam and the Bubble Buds attempt to find out their purpose.

    45. Jelly's Scabbard

    Jjs takes Tyeam to a special place that belonged to Jelly after Sea Lion finds the scabbard for Jelly's sword.

    46. Open Book

    When Dennis is upset by the ending of Game of Thrones, Tyeam has to hunt down George R. R. Martin to get him to quickly finish the book series before Dennis takes his frustration out on the show's writers.

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