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JCM

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Posts posted by JCM

  1. JCM Provokes His History Teacher While the Grim Reaper Is Accused Of Burgling Turds

    (The Grim Reaper is walking down the street when he runs into Beavis and Butt-head.)

    Beavis: Hey, watch where you're going, you turd burglar!

    Grim Reaper: Turd burglar? Why would I steal feces?

    Beavis: I'm not saying you're stealing feces. I'm saying you're burgling turds, you frickin' turd burglar.

    Butt-head: (snickers) Yeah, what a moron.

    Grim Reaper: Yeah, whatever. I have business to attend to at that retirement home, so if you could please...

    Beavis: Hey, are those real? (grabs a piece of the Grim Reaper's arm)

    Grim Reaper: Hey, give me my bone back!

    Beavis: (bends and twirls bone) Har har har

    Butt-head: He said "bone" har har har

    Grim Reaper: I am a very busy man!

    Butt-head: Har har har he said "busy" har har har

    Beavis: Get down and dirty! (shrieks in laughter)

    Grim Reaper: Goddamn it!

    Butt-head: Hey, let me see that now! (reaches for the bone)

    Beavis: No, I had it first! (pulls bone away)

    (Butt-head gets a hold of the bone, and he and Beavis play tug-of-war with it until it flies out of their hands and into the window above them.)

    Butt-head: That window is such a turd burglar. (walks away with Beavis)

    (Inside the window, JCM is playing with the bone that landed on his desk.)

    that70sguy92: Before we begin, class, I'm going to have to run a small errand. I've appointed my wife, Sara, to look over you while I'm gone.

    (Sara, who's pregnant, walks into the classroom and waves at the students. that70sguy helps her into the chair and then hurries out.)

    JCM: (looks up from the bone and coughs) Mrs. 70sguy?

    Sara: Yes, JCM?

    JCM: How did you get so humongous?

    Sara: Um, what?

    JCM: I mean, no offense, but what have you been eating?

    Sara: I have a baby inside of me!

    JCM: You've been eating babies? Oh my gosh!

    Sara: What the hell is wrong with you?

    JCM: Me? Are you kidding?

    (JCM throws his hands up in frustration. The bone flies out of his right hand and hits Sara in the head, knocking her out. Sabre watches it all from behind him.)

    Sabre: Wow, JCM. You boned her so hard, she's unconscious.

    JCM: Oh, no! What am I going to do? that70sguy will be here any minute!

    (that70sguy walks in right at that moment. He sees Sara in her condition and runs to her aid.)

    that70sguy92: (tearing up) What bastard did this to you?

    JCM: (slowly raises hand) This illegitimate child.

    that70sguy92: You boned my pregnant wife? Who the fuck does that?

    JCM: I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! It-it just happened!

    that70sguy92: That's it, JCM! I've had enough! (rips off his shirt and flexes his incredibly muscular body) I'm going to kick your ass!

    JCM: No, please! I had a slick boner! It was out of my control!

    that70sguy92: Tell it to the judge! And by the judge, I mean my fists!

    Sara: (regaining consciousness) Wait!

    that70sguy92: Sara?

    Sara: I'm about to become a mother, and my motherly instinct tells me that JCM didn't mean to do all this.

    JCM: Yes, listen to her motherly instinct!

    that70sguy92: Shut the fuck up, JCM! He could have hurt you. He could have hurt the baby.

    Sara: But he didn't, so why hold it against him? He's a child, and children make mistakes.

    that70sguy92: I guess you're right, Sara. I'm sorry for overreacting.

    JCM: It's alright. (smiles at Sara) I believed up to now that all fat women are mean, but you've proven me wrong. Thank you.

    Sara: Honey, kick that little prick's ass.

    that70sguy92: I'll be glad to. (rolls up sleeves)

    JCM: (backing away) But what about your maternal instinct? You wouldn't want to subject those babies you ate to this brutal violence, would you? I want my mommy! (runs out of the room with 70s right behind him)

    (The End)

  2. Oh, I thought you said future episode premieres. I mean, with TV Guide, you have a week's notice. If you don't see the episode there one day, you can just check it again the next. SpongeBob still airs pretty frequently, so the chances that a certain episode you like will pop up are pretty good.

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