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JCM
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Posts posted by JCM
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Thanks for the shoutout! You're easily our best member, and the most awesome Bubble Bud!
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[SOF: 4 down…2 to go. Oh boy.]
[JCM: Feels like just yesterday I was riffing episode 4.
Probably because it was just yesterday! Oops!]
[Fred: Well, since we're ending the riffs very early, let me take the time to say THANK GOD. Riffing this was worse than riffing a thousand Down Under episodes. I think I would rather un-ban Zaid, get him to make a really unintentionally bad lit based off of, I dunno, Friends, and then ban him again so that we can riff on that instead of this god-forsaken headache of a lit. I would rather have my balls chopped off by an insane butcher than read another sentence of this lit. I would rather be flattened by a semi driven by The Incredible Hulk than riff this. I would...]
Episode 5: Celes is Sneaky
[SOF: Nah, she ain’t.]
Welcome back, folks! It’s finally time for the epic finale, to see who will be the last one standing on Total! SOF! Island!
[SOF: I feel like these last 2 episodes will end way too quickly.]
[Fred: Well, this may be a finale, but it's not Total SOF Island and it's not "epic". In fact, I would rather read a Total SOF Island than...]
Speaking of which, where is SOF?
[SOF: I’m right here, you dummy.]
[Fred: He's hiding from this literature because it sucks.]
[JCM: Can I join?]
“KJ party mansion” he answered. “I’m underneath the stage curtain, but they’ll never find me!”
[SOF: …oh goody, more rehashing from ATTWL 3.]
[JCM: I miss the ATTWL 3 riffs. Those were simpler times.]
“You just told me where you were!” a Korean soldier yelled as he pulled back the stage curtain and pointed his machine gun at SOF. SOF froze before he realized he had thought of an idea in his thoughts.
[Fred: Okay, for a guy who blows a gasket every time he comes across an error in Eddsworld Meets SpongeBob, he sure has taken some notes from it. Where am I going with this? Look at that last sentence.
"SOF froze before he realized he had thought of an idea in his thoughts."
I hate doing this, but let me borrow a quote from the Irate Gamer Sucks blog because it really applies here as well. "Using a noun twice in the same sentence is very poor and shows a lack of effort." You could have just said that "he thought of an idea" or "he had an idea". Adding "in your thoughts" just ruined that sentence and made it very redundant, and that is a poor mistake in writing this. Then again, you probably put more effort into your riffs than you did into this lit. Notice how I didn't call the Redundancy Department of Redundancy on him this time? I thought that since he goes all Nostalgia Critic on most spin-offs and lits, I should do the same with his. Karmic justice saves the day!]
[SOF: A really stupid idea from CC!SOF if you ask me.]
[JCM: I don't know why I got the idea in my thoughts to riff this garbage.]
“Look!” he yelled, pointing behind the soldier. “I see Stephen Hillenburg!”
[SOF: Sadly, he isn’t here…*cries*]
[Fred: Don't you dare take the name of Stephen Hillenburg in vain!]
In response, the bemused soldier shot him dead.
[JCM: Seems like CC!SOF didn't bemuse that soldier quite enough.]
“Idiot…” the soldier said to himself. “Everyone knows that Stephen Hillenburg couldn’t make it to the party today. He’s at Spongebob and Sandy’s wedding.”'
[SOF: Well, RIP SOF.]
[Fred: Whoa, the timing for riffing this is incredibly unfortunate even though it's been 2 months since he died. Still, point to my riff above about taking Stephen's name in vain.]
As the soldier turned around and walked away, however, SOF’s soul emerged from his corpse. Fusing with his dead body, he became a unicorn Yo-Kai that looked like Rarity.
[JCM: why]
[SOF: Okay, can I just say that it’s NOT what I wanted because I NEVER EVEN WATCHED FUCKING Yo Kai Watch BEFORE!]
“thx for the reminder” he replied to the soldier, who looked back at SOF in shock. “i can’t miss latest premiere of truth or square done right”
[Fred: Also, thanks for the reminder that you like Yo-Kai and MLP, the other chapters completely didn't tell me.]
“The fuck?!” the soldier yelled, as he fired more bullets into SOF, but they didn’t phase him. SOF charged past the soldier, gently pushing him out of the way and causing his gun to fly out of his hands and out a nearby window. Watching SOF flee the party mansion, the soldier just stared in disbelief.
“I can’t believe it…” he said to himself. “That is one fast Canadian. He should try out for the Olympics.”
[JCM: "...but the Winter Olympics, since those are the only ones Canadians are good at."]
“quite fitting how we’re in Soth Korea olympic era” SOF winked to the audience.
[SOF: Nice copy/paste of my comment to your fic, Mental Snake.]
“Yeah, pretty crazy coincidence…” the soldier winked to the audience ominously.
[Fred: Okay, why is everybody winking like they're at the end of a sitcom episode? Are you telling me that this was a sitcom all along? Well, I didn't know!
*laugh track, applause, roll credits*]
[Announcer: "I Didn't Know" was filmed in front of a live ostrich. An ostrich who is desperately trying hard not to be involved with Crazy Celes so I should probably stop talking before he pecks my eyes out.]
[JCM: Before he Golfpecks my eyes out, you mean! *Audience boos* I'll see my way out.]
Meanwhile, Adrian and Felix had entered the geographically misplaced animation studio to investigate. There were no guards around, as if part of Crazy Celes’ intent. There were, however, many storyboard artists in the building drawing cartoon characters on computers, cartoon characters that looked familiar to the two…
“Is that Sandy Cheeks from Spongebob?” Felix asked himself.
[Fred: No, that's Sandy Cheeks from Texas.]
[SOF: Nah, it’s Sandy Squirrel.]
[JCM: Nah, it's Sandy Olsson...from Grease. *Audience boos again* Alright, alright, I get it!]
“Is that Sonic the Hedgehog?” Adrian asked herself.
[Fred: No, that's Sonic the Fast Food Restaurant.]
“What is going on here?” Felix continued asking. “If this studio really is like the studio that animates Spongebob, Sandy would obviously make sense, but what is Sonic doing here? If he’s here, where are Sega’s lawyers?”
[SOF: Maybe they just wanted to deal with the studio suing them.]
[JCM: SEGA's lawyers obviously have time to go after everyone who draws their characters, which is why you never see Sonic fanart on the internet.]
“Honestly, I doubt this studio is just an imitation of the one that works on Spongebob.” Adrian suggested. “I can guarantee you, Celes would be fighting Viacom’s attorneys as we speak, they’d be here long before Sega...”
“Indeed, you are correct, young lady…” a familiar voice came from one of the storyboard artists who looked like Stephen Hillenburg from the back. “There is an evil going on in this studio even greater than Viacom, believe it or not…”
[JCM: An evil even greater than Viacom? I don't believe it.]
[SOF: I’m just gonna call it and say: it’s Crazy Celes behind this, obviously.]
“...” Felix clutched a vial of poison in his pocket in preparation for self-defense.
[JCM: That's a normal thing to carry around with you.]
“What evil would that be?” Adrian asked. “Are you the real crew that works on Spongebob (not that I would know, I don’t keep up with the show)?”
[Fred: No, this is the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob references.]
[SOF: I’m gonna assume MS hasn’t watched SB in a while, so it kind of makes sense if you ask me.]
“We used to be, but now, we’ve been forced to work on a different show...” the Stephen Hillenburg lookalike explained. “...Squirrel and Hedgehog…”
[JCM: I wonder what species the main characters of that show are.]
[SOF: Hmm, I think it’s kind of NK-style animation that made this? The hell am I reading atm]
“The North Korean war propaganda cartoon?” Felix responded as he approached the storyboard artist from the left and Adrian approached the artist from the right, neither still being able to see their face.
“It’s not about war anymore, as you can see…” the artist continued explaining as he showed them what was on the screen, a scene of Sandy and Spongebob as the bride and groom at a wedding. Sonic the Hedgehog was the wedding pastor and More Spongebob x Sandy was the best man. “Soon, it’s only going to be about shipping wars…”
[SOF: Of course not, it’s just dumb how people wanted to ship it due to ToS since it was just a “play”.]
[JCM: To be fair, the commercials for the episode made it seem like much more than a play. Expecting Spandy shippers to be reasonable is also expecting too much of them.]
“Dun...dun...dun?” Adrian made a sarcastic remark in her confusion. “I don’t get it, what’s the big problem?”
“I didnt know you were such a Spandy supporter.” the artist joked.
“No, I just don’t care much about Spongebob anymore.” Adrian told the artist bluntly. “It was a part of my childhood that I moved on from.”
[SOF: See, it’s funny how certain users who should be moving on aren't…]
“You don’t care about my show anymore?” the Stephen Hillenburg lookalike asked with interest. “Why, just curious?
[JCM: Bi? Just curious?]
[Joker: Why, so serious?]
I’m willing to take the time to listen to what you have to say and take notes for how we can improve…”
As the artist pulled out a pen, Felix smirked, getting an idea.
“I’ll take notes for you if you want.” Felix volunteered. “I’d love nothing more than to ease a burden from an artist with an illness.”
“Oh, why thank you, young man…” the artist replied sheepishly. “Yes, it’s hard for someone like me to manage so many tasks now that I have Alzheimer’s…”
“It’s ALS.” Felix politely corrected.
“Right!” the artist exclaimed, trying to laugh off the mistake nervously. “Sorry, my Alzheimer’s made me forget that I had ALS!”
[JCM: I'm not upset at your attempts at tasteless humor, just disappointed.]
[SOF: Yeah, we totally didn’t see that coming…]
Adrian gave the artist a suspicious look.
“You’re not really Stephen Hillenburg, are you?” she said, wisening up to the ruse.
“So what if I’m not?” the artist replied in an unnerving tone of voice, still keeping their face hidden. “You’re the one being interviewed…”
“Turn around and face me, you coward!” Adrian demanded as she turned the chair around to reveal that the artist was just Crazy Celes disguised as Stephen Hillenburg.
[Fred: Wow, I was totally surprised by that twist that I nearly had a heart attack. I totally did not see that coming.]
[SOF: HA! I CALLED IT!]
“RRRRRAAAAAHHHHH!” Celes cried as she instantly pounced on Adrian and held her down to the ground against her will.
[JCM: I've read enough MLP fanfiction to know where this is going.]
“Are you ready for your interview now?”
[JCM: That's...totally what I was thinking.]
“Finally, I have you!” she gloated. “Mwa ha ha ha ha! AH HA HA HA HA...OOOOOHHHH…”'
[SOF: Boy, this Crazy Celes turned herself into a Daffy Duck character.]
All of a sudden, Celes collapsed unconscious on top of Adrian, who immediately shoved her off and got up. Wondering what had caused her to suddenly faint, she examined Celes’ body and realized what happened when she saw the pen Celes had given Felix jammed into the back of her head. She then looked over to Felix, who smiled as he held out the vial of the poison.
[SOF: Well that makes sense now (sort of)]
[JCM: So Celes is dead now? Please tell me Celes is dead now.]
“I laced that pen I used to stab her with powerful neurotoxins.” he explained. “Even with her powers, she won’t be getting up from that for a while.”
[SOF: Thanks for the info, jesus.]
“Though I could’ve escaped myself…” Adrian replied as she flexed her arm muscles, trying to assure her pride. “...I very much appreciate the stress and trouble you saved me.”
Looking around, the two witnessed all of the other storyboard artists vanishing into black puffs of smoke along with their computers, revealing that they were all just part of an illusion.
“So North Korea didn’t kidnap a bunch of artists to work on bringing a shipping fantasy in an American cartoon to life after all.” Felix remarked. “Good to have one less worry, I guess. If they were real, I wouldn’t want them to end up as literal starving artists.”
[JCM: A lot of starving artists in America are literal starving artists, too. At least they're living the dream.]
“We still have plenty of other worries, however.” Adrian reminded him. “The most pressing one right now being that we need to catch up with the others as quickly as we can. With the precious time this shit cost us, I don’t think we’ll be able to scavenge quickly enough on foot.”
“The chopper would probably draw too much attention…” Felix mused. “But in worst case, we are going to have to improvise. It’s not like a better option is going to come crashing through the window.”
[SOF: Be careful what you wish for…]
However, Felix was soon proved wrong, as the machine gun SOF had knocked out of the soldier’s hands earlier had somehow flown all the way over to the studio.
[JCM: Those North Korean winds are no joke.]
It crashed through the window and landed on its butt on the floor, causing it to shoot a bullet through the roof before it fell down on its side. The Bruce siblings stared at the sight with flabbergasted expressions on their faces before Felix said…
“...Bursting through the front door?”
With that, a familiar Yo-Kai burst through the entrance to the studio, one that could travel at high speed. Adrian and Felix met the unicorn Yo-Kai…
[SOF: Or better yet, anything else.]
[Fred: Wait, what's with the three dots, is that the end of your sentence or are you setting up a punchline?]
...Elasticorn.
[Fred:
]
[SOF: wat?]
WHAT A TWEEST! What is SOF doing then? What happened to the SBCers who were captured? Will Kim Jong-un’s sister steal the Olympics? Find out next time on Total! SOF! Island!
[Fred: And frankly, I do not care about what happens next because I am done with this lit. I am done. Even though I could survive 23 episodes of Down Under, I can't even survive 5 episodes of this. It is that bad. It's even the hardest show to riff for me as well because while doing most of the episodes, I was just thinking to myself "What the actual fuck is this?". I know what this is. It's a confusing lit. It's hard to read. It's hard to riff. I am at a loss for words when it comes to this show. Full SBC was easier to read than this. Eddsworld Meets SpongeBob was more entertaining to read than this. All of the worst novelty shows ever created on SBC are probably better than this as well. Hell, this makes all of my shows look like the fucking Bible! And I think I'm a terrible writer too! Just.........fuck this. Riffing this was a mistake. I tried my best not to give up on riffing this, but I did anyway. I just really hope that the next thing we riff is more easier to riff than this because this was a fucking disaster. And now to conclude my thoughts on this, I am going to do what I promised I would do at the very beginning of this show.
Ahem...
PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE JCM, LET US RIFF FULL SBC AGAIN, THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN PLEEEEEEEEEEASE]
[JCM: I thought this was the finale of Total! SOF! Island! What a bummer. Guess I'll be seeing you all again next week.]
[SOF: No thank you, I don’t wanna see what happens next because the next episode is the finale of Crazy Celes on jcm’s riffing theater.]
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Patrick Gets Snapped
(SpongeBob and Patrick are in SpongeBob's house watching the Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy when the actual Mermaid Man runs in.)
Mermaid Man: It's terrible, simply terrible!
SpongeBob: Mermaid Man! What's wrong?
Mermaid Man: Thanos...he's going to wipe out half of all existence just for the fun of it. I tried to stop him...but I couldn't.
SpongeBob: Where's Barnacle Boy?
(Mermaid Man looks behind him.)
Mermaid Man: He...he was with me. Oh, no.
SpongeBob: Do you think...
(SpongeBob turns around and realizes Patrick is no longer sitting beside him.)
SpongeBob: Oh, my Neptune. Where's Patrick?
Mermaid Man: (looks down) I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
(A few seconds later, Patrick comes out of the kitchen with a seanut butter and jellyfish jam sandwich in his hands.)
Patrick: Who's the old guy?
(What a twist!)
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[JCM: Aaand we're back! Hope you all enjoyed the break, cause I sure as heck did, but sadly, it's back to the grind now.]
Episode 4: Tied Into All of This
[SOF: I’m tired of this crap on CC so far, give me something good]
We’re back on Total Japan Island, to see what happened after the boom!
[SOF: We can totally tell how bad of a parody this is]
“WHAT. THE. FUCK. BBBBBOOOOOMMMMM!!!!! OH! OH!” could be heard from the plane Crazy Celes crashed. She was watching a compilation of dated memes on the still functional passenger TV with Sonic the Hedgehog.
[JCM: why]
[SOF: Yeah, I have no idea why this goes along with this shitposting.]
“Lame!” she proclaimed. “This is why I never touch the memes from the 00s. I always wait until the 10s! That’s when things really start to boom!”
[JCM: joke's on you cause the 10s are almost over now]
“They sure do…” Sonic said bemusedly as he remembered waiting until the 10s for Sonic Boom, only to watch it bomb terribly
[JCM: Get it? Boom? Bomb? No, we're not doing that? Okay then.]
Um...maybe we need to go back to what happened before the boom…
[SOF: Thanks, Captain Oblivious.]
ONE TASTELESS HISTORICAL JOKE LATER
[SOF: ONE BAD JOKE LATER]
Kim Jong-un was with his soldiers, shooting an infomercial inside of a weed farm.
[JCM: Weed's not the worst way to fund a communist regime.]
[SOF: Oh great, now we're making fun of this political shit.]
[SOF: I love the fact he doesn’t give any description on what's even going on in there.]
“Today, we show you that our Korea is not just socialist country of war!” he exclaimed. “It is fun socialist country of war!”
[JCM: Does that mean I won't be sent to a forced labor camp?
Kim: No, you'll still be sent to a forced labor camp, but we'll have fun while doing it!
JCM: Aww.]
[SOF: Yes, unfortunately, this chapter was kind of a tie-in that took place during the North-South Korea summit which was historic, and at the same time as the 2018 Winter Olympics last year.]
There was a pause of silence before Celes crashed the plane into the weed farm and into Kim Jong and the soldiers beside him, crushing and killing them instantly.
[JCM: rip in peace. i.p.]
While Celes was harmed as well, she had since regenerated from the damage done to her. The explosion that Adrian and Felix had heard happened at this time, with fire surrounding the plane and spreading to the weed, creating a familiar kind of smoke in the air. Some of the fire on the inside of the plane also began to slowly crawl towards Spongetron’s body...and she abruptly opened her eyes, now reborn as a Yo-Kai…
[SOF: Okay, that's one hell of a run on sentence.]
“FILM-CLI-CHES!” Celes exclaimed in tune to “DUN-DUN-DUN”. “Next thing you know, everyone is going to die with the exception of the two heroes, who will make it out entirely unscathed!”
[SOF: Except two of them are the characters we never know until later chapters.]
Spongetron ignored the demon god’s ramblings and sucked the metal snakes who had bit her inside of her
[SOF: WTF?! Tron just literally ate the fucking snakes?! Dude, I know this is Lit, but this pure fucked up, you messed up weirdo.]
[JCM: I'm still trying to process Tron being alive and now she's sucking metal snakes into herself? I give up trying to understand any of this.]
corpse, transforming herself into a robot that resembled an insect. She looked behind through one of the holes the metal snakes had made in the plane and saw her nemesis, Renegade, parachuting down to the ground with other SBC members who were fortunate enough to acquire parachutes before the plane went down.
[SOF: Oh yeah, I forgot she hated Ren a lot for some reason. To be fair, Ren was an asshole at the time, but Ren is Ren.]
“So Kim Jong-un is dead…” Ren said, viewing the scene of the plane crash before him. “Eh.”
[SOF: Pretty sure that none of us would care much about him, so meh.]
“Thoughts?” Wumbo responded, curious.
[JCM: No thots around here, sorry.]
“Eh.” Ren replied. “Happy?”
[SOF: I’m not really with this chapter so far.]
“such insightful thoughts” Homie remarked sarcastically.
[JCM: hey sarcasm is my job]
“Hey, cut me some slack!” Ren exclaimed. “We’re in North Korea of all places!”
[SOF: Well, If you ask me, you guys literally crashed the place.]
“Touche.” Jjs commented as Homie conceded. “We do need to watch what we say more than we normally do considering the circumstances.”
“would those circumstances involve me by any chance” Wumbo joked.
[JCM: No! It doesn't involve you or your thots! Get your mind out of the gutter!]
“Don’t worry, I got this.” Ren assured as he and the rest of the group landed.
[SOF: And here we are, stranded in NK as Ren played the “hero”]
Unfortunately, the gang landed near where a Korean soldier was patrolling. Having gotten a whiff of the smoke coming from the weed farm, he and a squad had followed it to investigate and had also now witnessed the entry of the SBC members.
[JCM: "Fortunately, the soldiers were all high from the weed smoke and didn't care."]
“Who are you?!” the squad leader demanded answers from them, pointing a K2 assault rifle at them as his subordinates pointed K3 machine guns at them. “State your names and purpose!”
“Sup, Koreaboo?” Ren greeted them as he walked up to the squad leader, only for him to smack him in the stomach with his rifle in frustration.
[SOF: Yeah, he’s not helping, couldve used jjs to handle the situation or Wumbo.]
[JCM: Or literally anyone other than Metal's incompetent version of Renegade.]
“Arrest them all!” the squad leader ordered his men. “We’ll torture answers out of them!”
[SOF: Well SBC died. The end.]
“What do we do?” the SBC members asked themselves as the soldiers held them at gunpoint and led them to a prison. “They’ll never believe we’re just stowaways from a Spongebob site...and if we tell them we were with that maniac who killed their leader, they’ll kill us for sure!”
[SOF: Um yeah, I think it’s the fact how they weren’t knowing Ren did something stupid, but I have no idea what’s up with the in unsion.]
[JCM: The plane crash must have telepathically connected all of us. Too bad this didn't happen IRL because it would have ended Metalgate a lot sooner. But we'd also all be stuck in North Korea. Hmm.
]
After the squad who arrested the SBC members left, however, a new squad came to investigate the plane crash, where that maniac no longer resided. She had used her demon god powers to teleport to where Adrian and Felix were, leaving only one creature left for the squad to discover, and it wasn’t a blue hedgehog…
[SOF: Oh, I get it. Stealing Skod style, eh?]
“Mwa ha ha ha ha…” Crazy Celes laughed evilly to herself. “Now it’s time to do what I do best...mess with these kids’ heads…”
[SOF: Jesus, this fanfic got even darker than RRR (except RRR was not meant to “rape” the victims).]
Adrian and Felix were walking down a trail in search of Celes’ crashed plane and any survivors, with the rest of the team staying behind to watch the helicopter.
“Huh…” Adrian said as she found herself growing accustomed to her new clothing, having had to improvise and borrow a pair of men’s pants from a teammate after her other pants got soiled. “I guess Wayne’s World was right. At first it’s constrictive, but after a while, it becomes a part of you…”
[SOF: Huh? I don’t get the conversation at all.]
[JCM: Didn't watch Wayne's World so I'm just as lost as you.]
“Wasn’t Garth talking about underwear in the movie though?” Felix replied.
“Who said I was talking about pants?” Adrian retorted. “They weren’t the only thing that got soiled, you know…”
[JCM: Goodnight, everybody! Even after a week and a half I can't take this!]
“...I guess going commando wouldn’t have been much better…” an embarrassed Felix thought.
[SOF: Duh, maybe you could’ve come up with a better topic than that.]
“Moving on from that,” said an equally abashed Adrian, “I’m surprised we haven’t run into any of Kim Jong’s commandos yet.”
[SOF: That’s because you two weren’t captured, dumbasses.]
“You think that Celes killed them?” Felix asked.
[SOF: Oh no, they’re just being blamed for plane crash, and for killing them…*pause* on a serious note, I couldn’t tell if MS is falsely trying to blame us by portraying us as bad guys?]
“If they had something to do with her show, I’m sure of it.” Adrian answered. “Celes’ only motive for doing evil things is to entertain herself, so I can easily imagine that the reason she dropped us here was because she got bored of her plan to cause a terrorist attack on the Twin Towers.”
[SOF: I find this chapter more boring than the actual plot.]
“It’s even possible that she planned this all from the start.” Felix suggested. “But knowing her mental instability, it wouldn’t surprise me if there are things that she’s abruptly changing her mind on and just making up as she goes along…”
“Don’t look now, but I think that we’re about to see you’re right…” Adrian said as she stopped walking and held out her arm to halt her brother.
[SOF: Aw, isn’t that cute? But seriously, this chapter is SO FUCKING BORING]
Both saw ahead of them something that had to be the work of the insane demon god...the South Korean animation studio that animates Spongebob Squarepants...in North Korea.
[SOF: Pfft, there’s worse NK animation studios if you think that’s bad]
“I found a way to tie Spongebob into all of this!” Celes exclaimed maniacally.
[SOF: Gee, you think? Because you planned to just destroy them then proceed to your next plan that has something to do with SB?]
That’s right, folks! This lit is now a spin-off! Tune in for more next week as Spongebob and Sandy finally get together while Sonic the Hedgehog watches!
[JCM: Just popping back in to say that none of this is okay and that the world is a worse place for this existing.]
[SOF: No no no no and FUCKING NO! Honestly, JCM said he would finish this at 15 (which he planned anyways), and I guess he decided to stop at ep #6. Oh well, it’s up to him anyways since it’s just hard to riff, but I guess we won’t get to see infamous chapter that’s supposed to be riffed..only 2 more to go!]
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its been like two weeks so idk
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Patrick Shuts Down the Government
(Patrick walks into the mayor's office.)
Mayor: Who are you?
Patrick: I'm a concerned citizen of the great city of Bikini Bottom!
Mayor: What's your concern?
Patrick: My concern is that a lot of bad people are coming into Bikini Bottom, and we need a wall around the city to keep them out!
Mayor: Well, that makes perfect sense! Don't worry, concerned citizen. I'll get you your wall no matter what!
(A week later, SpongeBob and Patrick are watching the Bikini Bottom News at SpongeBob's house.)
Perch Perkins: It's official: the mayor is shutting down all government activities until a border wall is built around Bikini Bottom.
SpongeBob: What idiot would shut down the government over a wall?
Patrick: (points to himself) This idiot! I'm the one who told the mayor to do that!
SpongeBob: Why?
Patrick: Bad people are coming in, SpongeBob. (points to the window) Like that guy, outside! He clearly isn't from here! (whispering) Probably from Rock Bottom, cause you know how those people are.
SpongeBob: That's our neighbor, Squidward!
Patrick: Really? He's a lot uglier than I remember.
(What a twist!)
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[JCM: And then there were three! Three riffers for the third episode of Crazy Celes! Some say that three's a magic number, and hopefully I can use that magic to poof myself outta here.]
[SOF: Damn, wonder what’s this is gonna lead to-]
Episode 3: Yo Korea!
[Korea: Hey, how are ya?]
[SOF:….really?]
[JCM: Yo Korea, my Korea, everyone's Korea. That's the beauty of communism.]
Crazy Celes’ plane is trapped in a tailspin!
[SOF: Hooray for using Disney references]
“That’s no good!” Sonic the Hedgehog exclaimed as he passed by, riding on Tails, who was flying by spinning his tails in the air.
[SOF: Any reason why Sonic & Tails is related to this SBC fanfic? Because that’s not what is going happen unless MS inserted YTP material.]
[Fred: Sega did 9/11, that's why. Find out more at alqaedawasblamed.org]
How will she break out of it? She eventually breaks out of it.
[JCM: Spoiler alert! Jesus!]
[Fred: I don't know that question. What I do know is that Sega did 9/11. #SegaDidWhatOsamaDidn't]
“What the hell?!” Adrian yelled as she got out of the pilot seat. “You didn’t break out of it, I did! The only thing you broke out of was being trapped underneath my ass, and that’s only because I let you!”
[JCM: That's not what you said last night.]
[SOF: Maybe she didn’t know Crazy Celes has plot of her own, which I doubt she did.]
“Like that’s something to brag about?!” Celes retorted as she fully regenerated herself back to normal. “You should already let me do what I want!”
“I don’t have time for your crap!” Adrian exclaimed as the sound of the plane’s exterior being broken through could be heard coming from the passenger’s room. “I have to help the people you dragged into it!”
Once Adrian rushed back to the passenger’s room, she saw what she had feared when she had first seen the metal snakes come to life...the motherfucking things
[JCM: When did Samuel L. Jackson start writing this lit?]
were now trying to bust into the goddamn plane with their razor-sharp fangs that could dig into metal. Some of them even began to chew through it, and an ominous banging came from the cargo door in the back…
[SOF: Jesus, don't you think THAT would constantly destroy the plane with all this shit with snakes?]
“FUCK!” Adrian bellowed in response to the impending threat. “Everyone, grab a parachute! We have to evacuate!”
“Mwa ha ha, just try it!” Celes proclaimed with a cackle over the pilot’s radio. “Even with a parachute, a drop from this height will land you to a fate worse than death...landing in North Korea!”
[JCM: Pretty sure I would prefer that over falling to the death from a plane.]
[SOF:….are you fucking kidding?! It was a stupid idea to reference to The Interview.]
Everyone on the plane besides Adrian gasped dramatically, with a few dying of shortness of breath.
“Alas, the shock of me implying that North Korea was a shithole country was too much for some to bear!” Crazy Celes taunted them over the radio.
[JCM: i wonder what thats a reference to]
“Not for me.” Renegade the Unicorn boasted with a cocky grin. “I agree with Donald Trump’s stance on North Korea.”
[SOF: Oh great, now we’re entering Trump jokes, too? Booo]
“Oh really?” Celes retorted in a sickly sweet tone of voice. “Then I suppose you’d also agree with me bringing...FIRE AND FURY DOWN UPON THE COUNTRY!”
[SOF: And this same character would kill them all. Nice character, everyone.]
With that, the metal snakes broke through the cargo door in the back, just as Celes went full throttle on the plane controls, directing the plane down at an alarmingly high speed. Everyone was flung out of the plane, with the exception of Spongetron, who plunged herself into the fangs of the metal snakes at the wall to keep herself inside, wanting to die where her crush had.
[SOF: WTF? Is she gonna stay there with dead MS…that’s really bizarre if you ask me.]
[JCM: Even more bizarre is the fact that Metal Snake is writing this. There's nothing wrong with somebody having a crush on you, but there is quite a bit wrong with you writing about that person being suicidal over your death.]
Luckily, some of the SBC users were able to grab parachutes in time, but unfortunately, by the time everyone was ejected from the plane, Adrian didn’t have a parachute. The last thing Spongetron saw was Adrian giving her parachute to Renegade in an act of sacrifice before she got ejected herself, which led her to tear up…
[SOF:…jesus, here I thought that is one hell of a way to kill off in sad SO/Lit whatever fuck that is.]
...at the prospect of someone she didn’t like surviving, of course. To pour extra salt on the wound, she saw Adrian beginning to remove her pants, reminding her that she would now never have the chance to get laid.
[JCM: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
Let's halt the brakes and remind people that Tron was 16 when this was written. 16! That's not a normal thing to write about anyone, but especially a 16 year old girl. If you want to mine jokes out of this situation, fine! Have Tron think about how she'll never watch another episode of MLP, or play another game of Fortnite, or NOT help the Band Geeks in another SBC event. (Seriously, March Madness 2017 was the last time she was of any use for us. She won't be missed.)]
Her last words to Ren, her nemesis, were…
[Spongetron: Please don't riff my husband's literature in the future. It sucks and makes no sense but since he created it, it's goooddddddddddddddd....]
“I’ll stalk you till the day you die...I never let go of a grudge…”
[SOF:…that’s it? That’s your last words? You could come up with different ways to say your final words than THAT?!]
And with her final vow to creep on the creeper forever, she died from the poison the metal snakes injected into her body with their fangs.
[JCM: Only creeper here is Metal Snake the way he's writing.]
[SOF:…Okay there, JCM, that’s seriously gross]
[Fred: And nobody of value was lost. At least to me. Again, considering I don't watch MLP, she wouldn't like me.]
Meanwhile, Felix saw what had happened from his helicopter. Immediately, he had the pilot of the helicopter fly to where Adrian was. Upon arrival, he and the team reviled at the bloody mess before them in terror…
[SOF: Y’know, I would like to point out, if she had used it in some way to escape then why the fuck couldn't she stop the fucking plane in first place?]
“MY PARACHUTE PANTS ARE RUINED!” one of the crew members screamed as he saw an irritated Adrian floating down, hanging onto the parachute pants the crew member had technologically modified to function like an actual parachute. “WHY WAS IT SO HARD TO JUST WEAR A TAMPON?!”
[SOF: STOP SHOUTING! I’M NAPPING!]
“It was Celes’ fault, not mine!” Adrian yelled, referring to how the back of her pants got ruined when she sat on Celes while she was a bloody pulp. “Forget about me, we need to find the survivors right away and then stop Celes from doing any more damage!”
*KABOOM*
[JCM: The sequel to KaBlam nobody wanted]
[SOF: Did somebody say Boom?]
As the explosion confirmed that they were too late, Felix responded by shrugging his shoulders and saying…
“At least we still have survivors we can help…”
[Fred: Nah, the survivors got killed by a random rock from the sky because rocks.]
However, he paused as the plane flew lower to the ground, enabling him to see another bloody mess, the SBC members without parachutes who were killed from the fall.
[SOF: rip]
“...cross over peacefully.” he finished.
Unfortunately, that too soon proved to be a futile pursuit, as ghosts rose from the corpses of the SBC members, becoming Yo-Kai.
[SOF:…really?! Ughhhhh I'm kind of not wanting any more Yo-Kai Watch references since I had no knowledge of that anime myself]
[JCM: Reading this makes me want to watch Yo-Kai even less.]
“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Felix yelled in frustration.
[SOF: Tell me about it]
How will North Korea handle their nation being invaded by Japanese monsters? What will be the consequences of Crazy Celes’ crazy kamikaze move? Will the Trump administration be able to make Renegade’s dream come true, and end Teen Titans Go!?
[Fred: Nobody ends my're new favorite show!]
A (fake) preview was then shown of Renegade playing Go (Chinese/Japanese checkers) on a Teen Titans-decorated board with a Korean insei (Go student).
[Fred: Thanks for the Korea lesson, Professor Snake!]
[SOF: Uh was that really needed there?]
Find out next time on Total! Japan! Island!
[Fred: But wasn't Total Japan Island already bombed by Cow and Chicken? South Park said so!
This lit is still getting harder to riff, by the way. See you guys in the next episode I sadly do whenever that is.]
[SOF: Haha no This chapter was just bunch of mental snakes jokes and Yo Kai whatever that hell that is. Maybe next chapter will be something more interesting than this, right?!]
[Fred: On another note, Mental Snake is actually a great way to describe the author of this, great job, SOF comrade.]
[JCM: I'm still trying to process what I just read. All I can say is what I'm feeling, which is a lot of confusion and a bit of disgust. Even though there are 15 episodes, I'm stopping the riffs early at episode 6 for the sake of everybody's sanity, so we're halfway through! That's the good news. The bad news is there are still three more episodes of Crazy Celes or Total Japan Island or whatever this lit is called now for us to sit through. Stay strong, and stay off the sauce.]
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@NegiSpongie SBC should work like normal on your computer again.
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No, just no
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[SOF: Welcome back, everyone. While the first episode was a tricky one to riff, let’s see if we handle this one…hopefully]
[JCM: I'm already typing up my will!]
[Fred: And now, for another episode of Rusty's Raping Rampage Rip-Off. Or maybe Luke's Ludicrous Literature. Aren't All Alliterations Amazing?]
Episode 2: The Real Pilot
[SOF: Yeah, it's like we’re entering to actual start the show]
[Steel: More like the real unsold pilot.]
From where we last left off…
[SOF: No shit, we just literally riffed the first episode]
[Fred: I thought that was the fake pilot. If this is "The Real Pilot", then that means that this is the first episode, which means nothing at all happened last time we left off. Why am I criticizing this part for? No idea! Let's move on!]
Felix Bruce, the cameraman who was filming the outside of the plane, was still standing where it last was.
[SOF: wat]
[Steel: It's Felix Bruce! You know, Felix Bruce? From the first episode we read, in JCM's riffing theater, we were all there. Remember? Felix Bruce! Oh, good times, good times...]
[Fred: Wow. Metal Snake managed to get Felix the Cat and Bruce Springsteen to appear on his show. More importantly, they both sold out to appear on this show. What a world.]
“I...need to follow that plane, don’t I?” he said, bristling the back of his neck, embarrassed.
[SOF: I don’t know, man. You seem like you always do that.]
Fortunately, our second camera captured some important footage…
[Fred: Is it for the next new Planes movie? Now THAT makes sense considering that a Planes sequel is just as unnecessary as this lit.]
[JCM: Is it Trump's sex tape with Putin? Because I'm not saying I would watch it, but I'm not saying I wouldn't watch it, either.]
However, on the plane, it was revealed that Adrian, the one who was filming inside the plane, had abandoned duty to fight, throwing the camera to the floor.
[SOF: So you just throw proof of the “important footage” out? Ok]
[Steel: That sounds ironic since this text is coming from the same guy who spearheaded the 14-page document.]
SOF had since picked it up, and was now running back and forth with it, trying to parody Cloverfield for the lulz.
[SOF:….I don’t get it, is my character supposed to be funny?]
[Fred: Somewhere in the world, the Exciting Critic Corner SOF is writhing in anger.]
[Steel: I've never seen Cloverfield, so sadly your joke didn't work on me, but hey...so didn't all those other jokes from the first episode.]
Meanwhile, Adrian was interrogating Jeffrey Scott, the one who had murdered Clappy and Jelly, punching and kicking him in his chair.
[SOF: Well he killed them, case closed *scroll down* there’s more? Ugh]
[Fred: Okay, since this is the millionth mention of "Jeffrey Scott" in the lit, I may as well look him up. Apparently, he worked in the landscape biz, wrote for many cartoons (mostly DiC ones), and...........he sells tights too. There. Now I put three different scenarios in your head.]
[Steel: That's one unusual way to interrogate someone.]
[JCM: It's enhanced interrogation. It's what the professionals do.]
“Give it up already, you rat bastard!” she yelled at him before she smacked in the face and made him cough up blood. “This isn’t some game of “Good Cop, Bad Cop”, you either tell me, or you get to suffer some more before you tell me!”
[SOF: I feel like Jeffrey has nothing to do with what he was even established to be there for.]
[Steel: now excuse me while I SHOUT IN ALL CAPS, 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE REQUIRED TO DO TO CREATE A DRAMATIC EFFECT RIGHT!?!?!?!]
“I already told you everything I know!” Jeffrey claimed. “My name is Jeffrey Scott! I JUST WOKE UP AND FOUND OUT THAT I PROBABLY IMPULSIVELY MURDERED TWO PEOPLE! I DON’T KNOW WHY I DID IT, I MUST HAVE AMNESIA OR SOMETHING! FUCK YOU, MAN!”
[SOF:…then why is Adrian investigating you claiming that she thinks you did it…]
[Jeffrey Scott: CAPS LOCK MAKES ME FEEL VERY THREATENING RRRRRAUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHH]
“Oh, well okay, fuck you too.” Adrian retorted before she grabbed a frying pan off the waiter’s cart and whacked the killer in the head with it, knocking him out.
[JCM: I don't think you can interrogate somebody if they're knocked out.]
[SOF: Wow okay I don’t think rehashing the ATTWL waiter scene would help the conflict]
[Steel: It's time for some WACKY hijincks, dohoho!]
“I was just bluffing, I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt you had no motive. I’d prefer to find out more about this shit myself rather than play around with you. Besides, I want to take a break now.”
[SOF: You doubt it? Maybe this is not a good start to find a clue instead of jumping into action.]
“Oh no you don’t…” CDCB said as he pulled out his gun. 70s pulled out his gun as well, and the two of them shot the waiter and Metal Snake (the bullets entered their hearts, killing them instantly).
[SOF:…wow more rehashing yawn]
[Steel: ...um, can anybody please help me find the pacing in this?]
They also shot Adrian (the bullets they fired at her, she deflected with the frying pan).
[SOF:…I don’t get it]
[Steel: Thanks for the info.]
[JCM: Adrian must have some really fast hands or a really, really big frying pan if he's able to stop bullets coming from two different sources,]
“Looks like they figured out our little secret, eh, CDCB?” 70s told his killing friend as they shared a cartoonish laugh together, one that was quickly interrupted by
[SOF: Yeah, I think MS is trying to make a more parodying theme with this one…okay I think I should stop nitpicking here.]
grabbing another frying pan off the waiter’s cart and smacking them both in the heads too.
[Steel: Yes MS, I like Tom & Jerry too, and I'd much prefer to watch that than skim through this awful Lit.]
“What secret would that be, the fact that you’re both fucking crazy?!” she remarked as she knocked them out and they fell to the floor unconscious. “Something’s wrong here, there has to be a reason the passengers on this plane are going nuts and killing each other...it must be Crazy Celes. Her aura of insanity must be spreading to the passengers, making them become crazy enough to murder people!”
[SOF: Thank you for self-explaining here.]
[Fred: They're all going nuts because they now found out they're in Crazy Celes and they would rather die than be in that lit.]
Spongetron overheard this and gasped.
“People?!” she exclaimed at the mention. “You mean…”
[JCM: Yes, she means people.]
She gasped when she saw the body of Metal Snake lying dead in the seat.
[SOF: I’m shocked too, but w/e]
[Steel: ding dong the snake is dead.]
“LUKE!” she yelled. “NNNNNOOOOO!!!!!”
[Steel: In a different context, this sounds exactly like something that Darth Vader might say.]
[Fred: Don't worry, Spongetron, you still have me to care about.
Oh wait, no you don't! You don't care about me since I'm not Luke.]
[SOF: Hooray for putting here that she loved too much…she seriously needs to stop obsessing about him]
She continued screaming, “NNNNNOOOOO!!!!!”, as she went over to Metal Snake, then hummed, “Doo-doo-doo…”,
[JCM: Well, she got over that fast.]
[Fred:
Also, suck it, Doug Walker.]
as she tiptoed around Clappy and Jelly’s bodies and put the waiter’s body on his cart nicely before kicking it out of the way, then carried on with yelling, “NNNNNOOOOO!!!!!”, until she reached his seat. She then started singing the first exercise song from the end credits of Yo-Kai Watch, as the other people on the plane gave her looks of bemusement.
[Steel: Doo-doo-doo pay no attention to my poor attempt to deliver a joke Doo-doo-doo.]
[SOF:…okay then, never really watched Yo-Kai Watch, but I only saw the first episode, and it doesn’t work for me. Also, she must’ve watched after MS told her to watch as well cause MS told her what to do as she must follow him]
“How disrespectful.” Steel remarked.
[Steel: There I am, Gary! There I am!]
“That was already an extremely rude, self-centered, thoughtless, mean-spirited, and sloppy act to only care enough about the waiter to give him a proper send-off, and then she has to sing such unfitting music to her “love”, whom while I understand had not been the best person to his fans, lying to them and plagiarizing the work of Elastic and Jjsthekid, still deserved better.”
[SOF: self-awareness]
[Steel: While I could already tell that this was a joke about how I tend not to make sense at times, my fictional self is not wrong about how that particular scene didn't make any sense, no matter if it was intentional.]
“...Thanks, Hamlet?” Adrian thought to herself. “Why am I still sticking around here? I need to go take care of that crazy bitch before I end up losing it…”
[SOF: I would say if this chapter could’ve been done a bit faster.]
[Steel: You know, you're right too, character-that-I-will-completely-forget-about-by-the-time-I'm-done-with-this-Lit, why should we all keep sticking around here?]
After Adrian went to the pilot’s room to confront Celes, Wumbo felt he had to let something out…
[JCM: Don't worry, Wumbo. We all know you're Canadian, and we only hate you slightly more because of it.]
“Man, what Steel just said cheesed me off!” he yelled. “No one cares that Luke was shit to his fans! You got that, everyone except Steel?!”
[SOF:…holy shit, I think Wumbo may have a point here: why’s MS writing this? Like I get we didn’t care how MS’s writing was a thing until we got to the point in a later chapter which is foreshadowing]
[Fred: Yeah, people only cared about him because he liked MLP and wrote long-essays!
......again, that's all I can assume.]
[Steel: You know, while this chapter has only bored me to death so far, here's a little something interesting that I have to talk about towards this particular text. Remember that one time that Wumbo quoted me in the Awards season topic...topic telling me that he didn't know what I was saying in one of my posts? Apparently so, that's the setpiece for that very joke. How could I tell? I could very well remember this episode being posted about a week or even days after that little conversation that we've had. So, way to be a little too on the nose, Luke, wouldn't I say so?
Also more self-deprecating humor from MS, as if it's not a reoccurring sign of his downward spiral.]
“Eh, I can see how it’s a bit disrespectful.” Jjs remarked. “I will give Steel credit though for making the most confusing eulogy I’ve ever seen.”
[JCM: At least he got Jjs right. Cheers, Jjs! Sorry for ruining your show!]
[SOF: Confusing shows like DU & SBC I&P are already confusing me so self-awareness]
But alas, Jjs’ attempt to remain neutral failed to quell the inexplicable rage that was rising amongst the community (unsurprisingly). Eventually, SOF had to let something out as well. He threw the camera down, and at the same time the entertainment being shown to the passengers switched to an Emperor Lemon YTP playing the notorious clip from Snakes on a Plane, he yelled…
[Steel: And wow, speaking of downward spirals- DOWNWARD SPIRAL, DOWNWARD SPIRAL...]
[SOF: LMAO what?! Did MS insert EL, the infamous YTPooper, into this fanfic? Wow…]
[The Count: Two! Two terrible people who used to be worshiped endlessly! Ah ah ah!]
“ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!”
[JCM: So have I. How many episodes are left? 13? F]
[SOF: Enough said! True believer!]
[Steel: You forgot the part where he told us all to unsubscribe to his channel, but thanks anyways for that wasted "cameo."]
He ran over to where Metal Snake’s body was, pushed Spongetron aside, then lifted Metal’s body up and threw him out the window. Metal’s body, after being flung outside, floated from the wind into one of the plane’s turbine engines. The spinning blade ground his body up into a pulp of blood...and squirming metal that exuded a ghostly aura…
[SOF:…what the actual fuck am I reading? I…I don’t even know how to respond to this above paragraph, but it looks like he just wanted to make me a bad killer. And here I am thinking..this is awful of this scene.]
[Fred: Hey, you were one of the few people who gave this literature a like............for some reason. You all gave it a like for some reason. I didn't. Hooray for me not giving into general consensus!]
[Steel: "What was that?" a passenger behind her asked.]
In the plane, Spongetron and SOF were crusing
[JCM: is that intentional]
at each other angrily while Adrian was slowly sneaking up on Crazy Celes in the pilot’s room with a frying pan in hand…
[Steel: Can something please make sense here? Even if this Lit is deliberately trying not to make any sense, show us some clarity here. And mind you, this is coming from someone who apparently makes confusing eulogies.]
*BAM*
[Fred: Em..........Emeril? Emeril Lagasse?]
[SOF: BOOM!]
She smashed the frying pan into the back of her head, but instead of knocking her out, it flattened her head into the shape of the frying pan as if she was a classic cartoon character.
[SOF: Haha, see it’s like you’re just putting Looney Tunes slapstick in there]
[JCM: You've shown that frying pans can be wonderful weapons and shields, but can you use one to fry something? CAN YOU, ADRIAN?]
[Steel: Once again, thanks for using these cartoony overtones as a solemn reminder that I have better things to see or do than read this. While I can see this is as your attempt to keep me from feeling uninterested in your story so far, I'm sorry but it's not working for me.]
“Ha ha!” Crazy Celes laughed, ready to gloat. “You know, for an obvious SJW protagonist, I was expecting better than weapons women used in the 50s!”
[SOF:….really? NOW you bring SJW jokes no uh-huh I’m not going through this stupid shit]
[Steel: yeah nope, I'm not even going to try and form a joke out of that sentence.]
“Oh, don’t worry, I can do better.” Adrian responded with a smirk, confident of the damage she could do with her footwear. “I just recently got into football...”
[SOF: Whoo! Football]
[Steel: Hey look, I'm breaking gender stereotypes!]
Adrian then did a swift drop kick right into Celes’ face, squishing her and grinding her into a bloody mess with the cleats she was wearing.
[JCM: Still less violent than actual football.]
It’s no use!” Celes cried,
[Steel: Honestly, even I'd rather play Sonic 06 than continue reading this.]
still alive from her demon god powers. “I’m an immortal god! I can just regenerate!”
[SOF: Can we not make this a stupid thing where you act like you’re a ”god”.]
“Regenerate my ass!” Adrian retorted as she sat on Celes and crushed her more with her butt to stymie her regeneration process. “I’m going to stop this plane!”
[SOF:…..ok this is WAY too dirty here]
[Steel: A part of me wants to assume that this is his fetish, but the other part of me doesn't want to dwell on that, so I'll leave it here.]
But as Adrian got into the pilot’s seat and tried to figure out the controls, a new threat appeared outside the plane...a swarm of metal snakes crawling on the window to the left of her.
[MS' additional authorial text: GEDDIT? THEY'RE METALLIC SNAKES AND MY USERNAME IS METAL SNAKE???]
“Wow, this feels weirdly familiar.” Jjs remarked as he vaguely remembered something he had written in one of his shows just last year.
[SOF: I don’t remember unless something came out that related to jjs’ works]
[JCM: There were metal snakes in an episode of Mystic Guardians, which I only remember because it came out a day before my birthday and two days before the world ended in 2016.]
“One too many metal snakes.” Clappy’s ghost remarked as he completely remembered something he had written seven years ago. “Did you forget your password, Metal Snake?”
[Fred: It's probably something predictable like "password". Though he could always do "ilike17yearolds" as well.]
“THE GHOSTMASTER’S BACK TO GIVE US SHIT FROM EYEAR AGO THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT OR REMEMBERS!!!” Dragiiin yelled.
[SOF: That’s our Drag]
[JCM: That's certainly a Drag.]
“Now do you see what I was trying to do?!” Spongetron exclaimed. “My singing was soothing the souls of the departed, keeping them from becoming ghosts! But now it’s too late!”
[SOF: ok I think I can remember this one: this is definitely Yo Kai Watch reference (maybe? Unless other riffers point it out to me).]
[Fred: Well, I can assure you that I don't know if this is a Yo Kai Watch reference either. Then again, I can't figure out the any of the references most of the Fortnite Four make.]
[Steel: OHHHH, I see what you were trying to do now (actually, no i don't).]
Again, the outside of the plane was shown. With the turbine engine destroyed, the plane could no longer take the onslaught of the metal snakes,
[JCM: and neither could this forum.]
and began to go down in a tailspin. Felix had finally caught up with the plane in an airborne vehicle of his own, looking out from a helicopter to film the outside...only to see the aforementioned.
“D’oh…” he said in a defeated tone.
[Fred: The feeling is mutual, Homer.]
“Well there’s the story, folks!” SOF remarked. “Metal Snake became a Yo-Kai! Good night, everyone!”
[SOF: No you idiot, we still have 13 chapters left.
Anyways, not much to say except this whole plane scene in the chapter is basically MS getting killed and turning into a Yo Kai Watch ghost. Crazy Celes escaped despite Adrian trying to save it. Otherwise, this chapter is just poorly written so far.]
[Steel: That was an awful story.]
[Fred: Oh, how I wish this were the end of the story. In fact, I wish I had the strength to find something to riff upon in this lit. Here's to hoping the next chapter will be less confusing. That way, it'd be much easier to comprehend and riff upon. I'm definitely glad I didn't riff every chapter.]
[JCM: I wish I had a choice. See you all again some other day. Probably. Maybe.]
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Congratulations to @Clappy, @Shuichi, and @10/10 IGN for reaching the first-ever SBC Fantasy Football playoffs, and a big congratulations to my Powdered Toasts for winning it all! I swear it wasn't rigged. The doubloons have been distributed, and I hope to see you all again (and hopefully a couple of more players) next time!
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[JCM: Welcome back to Riffing Theater! No, not that one, the other one. No, not that one, the other one. The lit we'll be riffing this time is by an author whose best-known and most controversial work wasn't a spin-off or a lit, but a
14-page 19-pagereally long document, a document that has already been riffed and wasn't even his first work to get riffed. That honor goes to SBC: Investigation & Prosecution, and if you haven't read that lit, you're a happier man than I am. When it comes to Metalfics, third time's the charm, and while I'm sure Metal didn't expect this to be his final lit, it basically is, so I'll be looking at it not just as a poorly written, incoherent literature but as the swan song of the author of much poorly written, incoherent literature,Rated H for Honest]
[Fred: Okay, finally have a break from all my jobs, now it's time for me to riff a literature by the "literature god" (I don't know if anyone really calls him that but whatevs) himself, Metal Snake. A man who takes spin-offs and lits too seriously. A man who says what should and should not happen in a spin-off or lit. A man who somehow has the time to write long paragraphs addressing the problems of every shitty line and every shitty moment in said spin-off or lit, resulting in the others having nothing else left to comment on. A man who stole one of my riffs. Yeah, true story. Back in the days when we were riffing Down Under, I made a riff questioning three illogical events that happened in the episode we were riffing. I didn't see any lick of Metal Snake or Luke in the story. After the riffs was posted to the general public, what did I see, you may ask? The same exact thing I said.........in paragraph form. I still have the image of it somewhere in my computer...
Yep, he made the exact same points I did. And worst of all, he got the SpongeOddFan Approval™ for it. I know this can happen sometimes every once in a blue moon. I admit that I send my riffs usually later than others so something like this is bound to happen. But I thought I was the one who sent in my riffs before he did. I was above him as you can see in the picture. It felt like my riffs aren't any good because I'm not a member who watches "My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic" and writes long essays in my riffs (which, ironically, I'm doing right now, I should just get to the point). But now I get the chance to. I'm still knighted. He's not. I'm not banned. He is. I AM GOING TO BE THE KING OF RIFFING THEATER NOW! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
.....okay, I think I'm done tearing this a new asshole. Now it's time to tear this literature a new asshole! Here I go! I'm really gonna do it! I'm gonna riff Crazy Celes and make it through. Obviously I'm not gonna riff every episode like Renegade is. I'm not that brave. But I'm still brave enough to get through the ones I selected.
At least, I hope so. If not, I'll just beg on my knees for us to riff Full SBC again. At least that one was fun.]
[SOF: Hello everyone, I know what you’re thinking, what am I even doing on JRT (jcm’s riffing theater)? Well, I decided to help riff this with JCM. This is the first time I’m riffing in a long time since Jjs’ Riffing Theater 3000 ended, so what better way to kick off 2019 than with this interesting lit that jcm wanted to riff?
I think we know where this is going…Crazy Celes.
Earlier this year, Metal Snake decide to parody every single bad SO/Lits fic into one giant parody with his own thing. Sadly by the middle of May, things didn’t go well as it turned into a clusterfuck mess, so he abruptly ended it before Metalgate happened.
I’m decide to take this riff with a challenge: to riff the entirety of Crazy Celes…yes, you read this correctly, I had done this – twice; SBC I&P and SBC Soap Opera. If JCM & Ren can survive the entire CC series, so am I.
Let’s see how can we get through starting the first episode or I shall say “before the pliot” as MS liked to call it. Here we go, folks.]
Episode 1: Pilot Before Pilot
[MS' ghost: Hidden power, secrets, cover-ups, corruption. You think you know the whole story about SBC? Think again. I've been a Cashier, a Lunchables Navy SEAL, and, well...permabanned, but alas I've made contact beyond the grave as soon as I realized that my masterpiece was being riffed. I've heard things that will BLOW YOUR MIND. And now I think it's time that you get the whole story. I'm Metal Snake Ventura and this is Crazy Celes.]
[Fred: What about the pilot after the pilot? I'd like to see that guy, I must admit.]
[Renegade: OK. so I get that this title was meant to be a piss-take at Fa's "Misunderstood Life of DoodleBob", but given how Metal Snake's writing seems to be a combination of Evangelion-esque kudzu plots done poorly, obsessions with mysticism, and equally poorly-done Frank Zappa style in-jokes, this just comes across as absolutely lazy.]
[SOF: Wait, what does this title even mean? Is this like a prologue?]
The sun was shining on a bright and sunny day.
[Fred: And then it started with an earthquake. Birds and snakes and airplanes! Lenny Bruce is not afraid!
Sorry about the sudden R.E.M. quote, I've been listening to them a lot lately. Let's move on, shall we?]
[Steel: Nothing says a solid start to a meta fic quite like redundancy.]
[Renegade: No introduction, no explanation of who these characters are, just dropping straight into the action with the most cliched, undescriptive sentence ever.]
[SOF: Yeah, it’s not like you started with an ATTWL 3 description, lad.]
“The police are onto me!” a woman who was dressed in a blue pilot’s uniform and sounded like a man pretending to be a woman yelled as she turned off the radio on the plane she was piloting, which had apparently just informed her about the weather.
[Steel: I, Steel Sponge, a sponge made out of steel who looks like a stainless steel sponge but is just an ordinary sea sponge, is confused by your wordplay.]
Fred: Holy fuck, you're going too fast, I just started, please slow the hell down. That sentence was so long-ass that I had to read it over and over again just to comprehend the story. Why was it necessary to include the fact that she sounds like a transvestite? While you're at it, why don't you tell us that she was voiced by Trey Parker, who co-created the 1997 animated hit TV show on Comedy Central, South Park, with Matt Stone? It would sure make your essay of a sentence longer, I'll tell you that.]
[Renegade: ...Aaaand first strike. We get no context, just surreal, nonsensical humor that only someone like MS would find hilarious. Ohhhh, it gets worse.]
[SOF: So wait, a man pretended to be a women pretending to be a pilot? Yeah, that’s like a double pilot.]
“What was that?” a passenger behind her asked.
[Steel: That's a question that I'm probably going to be consistently asking myself throughout this Lit.]
[JCM: You forgot your mayonnaise.]
[SOF: Oh nothing. Just MS trying to sound like he’s writing a parody of your work.]
“Me screaming!” the woman, who had her face partially obscured by her pilot’s cap, retorted as she turned to the interrogator behind her. “What did you think it was, me whispering?!”
[Fred: YES, I THOUGHT YOU WERE WHISPERING! NOW BE QUIET AND GET ME MY DAMN PEANUTS, WOMAN!]
[Renegade: Another pitfall of this "humor" is that it tries to explain the joke...and this is why said trope is never funny: JOKES AREN'T HUMOROUS WHEN YOU HAVE TO FUCKING EXPLAIN THEM!]
[SOF: knowing MS’s writing style is good, but the way he worded it is bit too much to me like a lot for description…yeah even we’re starting off this riff is tough to riff, trust me we had done this before (Down Under etc)]
A guy behind the woman began to laugh.
[JCM: That's more laughing than I've done so far.]
“Did I say something funny, mister?!” the woman hollered angrily.
[SOF: idk man I guess the fact you’re yelling over the dialogue]
[Steel: I didn't find the joke that MS wrote for you to be so funny, so...]
“...Yyyeeesss.” the guy, who was revealed to be Elastic Dog, said like Stewie Griffin would.
[Fred: Imagine this being an actual cartoon. Trey Parker and Seth MacFarlane in the same studio voicing characters on this show. That collaboration alone would be the most interesting and best part of this show.]
[Renegade: Great "nod" to RRR. It's only reminding me I could be reading something actually funny and well-written.]
[SOF:…..Elastic, you ok dude?]
“Oh, well thank you for the compliment.” the woman replied, having abruptly become calm.
[JCM: That's the best I've ever seen a woman take being told she sounds funny.]
[Steel: *distorted canned laughter*]
[Fred: Well, if you're gonna thank me for just complimenting your show then I take it back.]
[Renegade: FUCK, I HATE SURREAL HUMOR FOR THE SAKE OF BEING SURREAL! THIS SHIT HAS NO SETUP! WHAT IS THE JOKE HERE?!]
“Be careful,” she warned the audience, turning to face them, breaking the fourth wall, “I am known to mood swing for the sake of the plot! But what is the plot, you might ask? Let’s go to IMDb for the answer!”
[Steel: And while we are there, I'm going to give this Literature a low rating and a negative review.]
[Fred: I am awaiting the pilot's reaction when she finds out the episode and the series has a 0/10 rating on IMDb.]
[Renegade: >as if your stupid-ass shit is important enough for IMDB.
Luke, your ego is showing.]
[SOF: I don’t see how this point in making a 4th wall joke especially in this parody was relevant.]
“This was the plot listed for the episode, “Pilot Before Pilot”, of the series, “Rusty’s Raping Rampage Rip-Off”, on IMDb, and it reads as follows!” a guy on a Youtube channel notorious for regurgitating internet news articles exclaimed, as it was revealed that this was what was being shown to the passengers for entertainment.
[Steel: Ah yes, give me more of these excessive descriptions.]
[Fred: Entertainment? This feels more like torture. In fact, watching this would make terrorists hijacking the plane into the World Trade Center the best thing to have ever happen on a plane in comparison.]
[Renegade: Would this guy happen to be Alex Jones? Or possibly even Metal Snake himself?
...See, fic, I can do "potshot" humor too.]
[SOF: Hooray for self-awareness, now can we get to the like ACTUAL plot?]
“On a quest to bring new, original, family-friendly, and advertiser-friendly fun to the internet,
[JCM: Hi, I'm one of your advertisers, and I want my money back.]
[Steel: Excuse me, but isn't this the IMDb description for OAXIS?]
an insane demon god flies users from The Spongebob Community to America,
[Steel: Except for those who are already American.]
[JCM: Which America? North America? South America? America Ferrera? Because ngl I wouldn't mind being flown to America Ferrera.]
where there will be no escape, and, as IMDb puts it, NO REFUNDS after she crashes the plane into the Twin Towers!”
[Steel: FUNNY NINE ELEVEN JOKe]
[SOF: ok first of all, self-awareness. Thank you very much.
Secondly, why did you throw 9/11 jokes…that deep, man.]
the guy continued reporting to all of the people behind the woman, who were revealed to be passengers on a plane. “And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen! IMDb is now advertising anti-consumerist practices as some sort of joke!”
[JCM: Still a funnier joke than any in this lit so far.]
[Fred: Okay, this just in: September 11th is no longer the worst thing to have ever happened on a plane. Whatever date this episode was posted on is.]
[Renegade: Oh, joy, taking potshots at YouTube and trying to regurgitate "edgy" 9/11 jokes for the sake of it, as well as unabashed support of consumerism, which is supposed to be funny!]
“Thanks for the information that I couldn’t have just looked up myself, bro!” one of the passengers who was revealed to be Jjs exclaimed, quoting the Jesus meme. “God, why is Youtube content such garbage these days?”
[SOF: God, why’s this spin-off parody such garbage?]
[Steel: Well, he made himself a better excuse than I did to get all these members all together, but don't think that I'm not going to be as harsh towards this Lit like I was towards DSOTH.]
[Renegade: OH BOI, OUTDATED MEME HUMOR! SURELY THIS WON'T DATE THIS LIT AT ALLLL AND SHOW HOW r/fellowkids MS IS!]
“Thank jesus for h3h3” SOF chimed in.
[Jesus: Hey now, don't drag me into this lit, SpongeOddFan!]
[SOF:….may I remind you readers that I didn’t want to view h3h3 on yt, but it seems like MS disliked this channel. However, I actually got tired of him during 2017 or 2018 which is why I regret saying it, and of course he just have to put it in there for me to act like I’m Yes Man.]
“h3h3: bad channel” President Squidward threw in his two cents.
[SOF: Okay, I feel like we’re into a conversation on yt, but you got me there.]
“Please,” said Clappy, “you haven’t seen real garbage on Youtube until you’ve seen Jake and Logan Paul. Who here hasn’t heard by now about that scumbag Logan making fun of a suicide victim?”
[JCM: Nobody. Literally nobody.]
[Steel: i get it, the joke here is that they're sharing their honest opinions]
[Fred: No, but I have heard about this one guy named Luke who made this godawful literature I'm riffing right now. Hey look at me, I'm breaking the fourth wall!]
[SOF: yeah I think 2018 basically started off with fucking bad joke jfc]
“Who here hasn’t heard the ricegum diss track” Aquatic Nuggets said.
[JCM: Everybody. Literally everybody.]
As Metal Snake listened to the SBC members talking amongst themselves about Youtube, he wondered to himself…
[Steel: GOTTA MAKE METAL SNAKE LOOK SMART]
[Metal Snake: Hmm, will this show ever be riffed after I get banned?]
[SOF: ah yes, our “hero”, everyone.]
“Hmm...should I bring up iDubbbz’s latest Content Cop or should I not...should I bring up iDubbbz or should I not…”
[SOF: that’s like “should I riff this or shouldn’t I”]
[MS' actual mind: Wow, look at all these idiots that aren't me.]
[Renegade: Again, what does bringing up then-relevant topics have to do with the nonexistent plot aside from padding?]
[JCM: To b...ring up iDubbbz or not to b,,,ring up iDubbbz. That is the question.
The answer is no. Nobody cares.]
And as Metal Snake continued to think to himself, the camera began to zoom out ominously...as the cameraman walked back to the pilot room to be courteous to the waiter who was also a flight attendant,
[SOF:…why? I guess he was same reason ATTWL 3 minor characters becom parody]
making way for him to deliver refreshments to the passengers. When he entered the pilot room, the crazy woman’s chair turned around in a foreboding way to face the cameraman.
[SOF: wat?]
“Mwa ha ha ha ha…” the pilot snickered evilly, holding out a photo of Metal Snake that the camera focused in on.
[Fred: Self insert much?]
[SOF: Yes, we can clearly tell you’re the main villain, dumbass]
“I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong. Everything up until now has been a ruse.
[Steel: I never really saw this whole getup as a ruse, but go on...]
This is not a show about raping SBC members (BECAUSE THAT WOULD PROMOTE RAPE CULTURE!)
[JCM: THANK YOU FOR THAT EXCLAMATION POINT, SINCE THE CAPS DIDN'T ALREADY MAKE IT CLEAR YOU WERE YELLING!]
[Steel: I thought it was because it was so that it won't trigger fragile snowflakes like the author of this very Lit.]
[Fred: Well, maybe I would enjoy being raped instead of being in a Metal Snake lit.]
[SOF: it could be foreshadowing…oops]
and it’s not about this obnoxious, arrogant asshole…”
[Steel: Do you mean Rusty or do you mean Metal Snake? If it's the latter, then that sounds hilarious in hindsight.]
[Fred: About time you admit it.]
[Renegade: >mocking rape culture, because that shit's for Lunchable-eating libtards, amirite?
And great shot at insulting yourself, MS. That was the only legitimately funny thing I laughed at.]
The woman then took off her pilot’s hat as the camera moved up to show her full face…
“It’s about THIS obnoxious, arrogant asshole!” the woman who was revealed to be Crazy Celes,
[Steel: Even if this is intentional, I have a feeling that I'll be legitimately annoyed by MS' original MLP character do not steal.]
the insane demon god from Spiriting Fluttershy’s Dark Sky (OH MY GOD READ THAT IT’S VITAL TO THE PLOT)
[Fred: Nope.]
[Steel: Calm your tits, 66ers, I'll read your series of MLP fics as soon as I find some reasons to care about them.]
[JCM: Hi, I'm from the future, and no, Steel won't ever read your MLP fics.]
[Metalgade: "OMG GUYS, READ MY MLP FIC, IT'S SO AMAZING! #ShamelessPlug"]
[SOF: OH MY GOD, CAPS IN BRACKET.
Also, I just noticed it’s the MLP lit series he made which I kind of did read Fluttershy Dark Sky (that’s only lit I read to be fair before this happen). Elether way, nobody knows this was a plot twist]
proudly introduced herself. “Welcome to hell!”
[Steel: Thanks, I'm never coming back here.]
[Fred: "Welcome to hell" is actually a fine way to begin this show, actually.]
[SOF: Welcome to terror of this fic, folks]
And with that, corny music from the 80s began to play alongside the lost opening credits to Full SBC.
[JCM: Not going through this again. See y'all after the credits!]
[Steel: Too many cooks, too many cooks...]
[Renegade: Comparing yourself to Full SBC now, are we? Don't compare yourself to that crap...it had even more effort put into its shittiness than this.]
The theme song (or at least what Crazy Celes called the theme song) to the show came on as the plane took off. Another cameraman outside showed us the colorful exterior of the plane. Bowls of fresh fruit were painted all over it, and on the side of it, the name of the vehicle, “The Fruity Plane”, was engraved in the metal.
[MS' additional authorial text: GEDDIT? IT'S THE FRUITY PLANE BECAUSE IT HAS PAINTINGS OF FRUIT, WHICH IN ITSELF IS FRUITY???]
As the plane soared into the sky, the lyrics to the theme song could be heard…
How could we ever predict the dignivility?
[Steel: If you're going out of your way to reinvent the Full SBC theme, then that's a sign that you should at least know that your Lit is going to be trash. Also, insert joke about the dignivility here.]
[Fred: So we are riffing Full SBC again! Thank you, JCM, for turning off that trash and turning on a familiar kind of bad.]
The milkman and the paperboy trying to kill meeeee!
[Steel: and trying to rape? Oh wait, I forgot, this isn't a rip-off of RRR that this Lit marketed itself as before. now I've really fell for that ruse.]
How did I get to living here?
Somebody tell me please!
This new show’s confusing me
[Steel: I feel more confused about how I'm supposed to sing or compose this. Sheet music, please?]
[Fred: Amen.]
With clouds as mean as you’ve ever seen
As that part of the song played, Crazy Celes flew past clouds that had formed the shape of a mist dragon.
[Steel: Judging that this sentence is in italics, I'm supposed to believe that this is part of the lyrics, right?]
[Renegade: Waaaait a minute, I don't remember that being part of the lyrics to Full SBC's theme.]
[SOF: Oh, I get it now: CloudmistDragon *rimshot”]
Ain’t a bird who knows your tune
“I don’t understand kids these days!” a bird who looked remarkably like the Twitter bird sang, holding out his cell phone that showed a list of emojis.
[Steel: "What was that?" a passenger behind her asked.]
[Fred: I don't understand pointless references these days!]
[Renegade: #FellowKids
...I don't even have a joke for this. This shit just writes itself.]
[SOF: Twitter bird has a phone? Sweet]
Then a little voice inside you whispers
Kids don’t sell your dreams so soon!
[Fred: Holy shit, this actually much worse than the actual Full SBC theme. Thank you for making the worst even worse, Luke!]
[Renegade: Just try writing a 14 page document in an effort to subterfuge the site since you believe you aren't favorited!]
“Hey kids, say no to drugs!” Crazy Celes exclaimed. It was revealed that she had just been hallucinating as part of a symptom of her insanity, and nothing that had happened in the sky while the song was playing had actually transpired. “Plot twist!”
[M Night: that’s my cue, you goddamnit]
[M. Night Shamylan: What a piece of shit!]
[Steel: So I guess Metal Snake really was high on something while writing this.]
[Fred: This would probably be where the Robot Chicken clip gets posted but why bother? I don't think this lit deserves it.]
Unfortunately, while Celes was distracted by her hallucination, she didn’t notice the other plot twist that was going on behind her.
[Renegade: That all of this is just a pathetic attempt to be funny?]
[Steel: M. Night Shyamalan joke.]
*BANG* *BANG*
[JCM: *wakes up* Is it over?]
[Fred:
]
[Renegade: My baby shot me down...]
[SOF: BOOM!]
Into the room where the passengers were, the cameraman returned to find that two gunshots had gone through Clappy and Jelly, and they had fallen to the ground dead.
[Steel: Should've known this LIt was actually a rip-off of And Then There Were Less.]
The camera moved to the right, after the cameraman kicked a crate out of the way, and it was revealed that the killer was…
[Steel: ...Even Cha?]
[JCM: Anyone but her!]
Everywhere you look, everywhere you go
[JCM: Screw this. *goes back to sleep*]
[Fred: Hahahahaha, funny transition, amirite! Hahahahahahahakillme.]
There’s a Cha! There’s a Cha! Waiting round every bed!
[Steel: Who would've guessed, but then again, this joke was probably "SUPPOSED" to be predictable.]
[Renegade: The killer was the rest of the theme song to Full SBC?
Also, why is Cha in my bed? Is she trying to seduce me?]
*one conspiracy theory with Aquatic Nuggets later*
...Great Scott! Who killed Clappy and Jelly? Who is next to be prey in the killer’s hands? Will the waiter make it out okay? Who are the mysterious cameramen, really? Why am I asking you all these questions? Find out the answers to all of them...right now.
[Fred: Scott Stapp? Scott Tenorman? Scotty Evil? The Scatman?]
[Renegade: And now we're ripping off And Then There Were Less? You're reeeeeaaaaally reaching for plots here, aren'tcha, MS?]
A guy named Jeffrey Scott,
[Steel: So it was not the joke that suggested that it had to do with Cha?]
Metal Snake and the waiter, no, Adrian Bruce and her brother, Felix Bruce, and because that’s the joke.
[Steel: And as MS of the past would say "Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't find this funny."]
So that was the first episode of MS' joke Lit, and I could already tell that the Lit itself is the punchline here and it may only continue to show that it's a glaring sign of MS' downward spiral. So far, as a self-aware satirical Lit, not one of its jokes have gotten a kick out of me.]
[Fred: This is the first episode and I already think this literature is a chore to riff. And I'm too tired to conclude my riffs properly so see you guys in the next episode I riff, I guess.]
[Renegade: And we finish off with a joke that makes no fucking sense. See, this is the problem with Metal Snake's writing: he tries to be "surreal" but comes off as nonsensical. He tries to satirize "edgy" jokes and "liberal bias", but comes off looking like a conspiracy theorist internet troll who doesn't get the concepts of irony. Add to the fact that said humor can come across as horrible dated and self-aware, adding to the cringe. Aaaand finally, there's "satirical" humor like that in Modern SBC User that just comes across as ham-fisted attacks that show how egotistical he really is.
...Aaaaand shit only goes downhill from here, folks. Prepare thy asses.]
[SOF: Who?
Well, that was first chapter of this series.
Thank u, next!]
[JCM: *wakes up* I've got it! We're all the dignivility! Also, the riff is over. Go home.]
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On 1/6/2019 at 1:28 PM, NegiSpongie said:
Ever since SBC came back ever since it's disappearance at the start of the new year, it hasn't been working on my computer. I mean, it works, but I can't access anything. Not sure how to describe it but I can't see images, can't see the shout box, can't type posts, can't change my avatar. I can only get full access to the site on my phone but I would like to use it on my computer.
https://www.bitdefender.com/support/how-to-clear-the-cache-and-cookies in-microsoft-edge-1914.html
Try clearing your cache first, and if that doesn't help, clear your cookies. I know issues with both have been affecting members since SBC returned.
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On 12/27/2018 at 6:05 PM, Renegade the Unicorn said:
Are you excited for the new Harley Quinn series?
Not really. Seems a bit too adult for my liking.
On 12/29/2018 at 10:04 AM, Jackie Chan said:Are you good at kicking ass?
No but the server's good at kicking mine.
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Who is Dean and why do you love him so?
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On 12/18/2018 at 10:34 AM, Mr. Eugene Krabs said:
Ahoy lad, would you like to become a Satanist?
If I ever see you in my ask thread again, I'm frying you.
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No Pet Rock? Very disappointing. Guess a snail will have to do.
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Thanks to everyone who voted for me in the Most Contributive Member category! I wouldn't have won without you! Literally!
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Answer: The Santa Experience, Let it Snow, and Babies In Toyland
Final Scoreboard:
Trophy: 41
Local: 39
RDSP: 37
Robert: 26
Negi: 24
Winter: 2
Local wins! I'll see you all again later! Overall scores will be posted later.
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Answer: Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas
Scoreboard:
Trophy: 40
Local: 35
RDSP: 34
Negi: 22
Robert: 21
Winter: 2
Question #10 (last question): What were the three Christmas episodes produced for Rugrats?
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Time's up
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Answer: I Really Don't Hate Christmas
Scoreboard:
Trophy: 35
Local: 32
RDSP: 30
Negi: 20
Robert: 15
Winter: 2
Question #9: What season 2 episode of Community parodied Christmas specials by making all of the show's characters stop motion?
The Silly Adventures of Patrick Star
in Davy Jones' Locker
Posted
Patrick Protests the Bubble Bowl
(Patrick storms into the BFL commissioner's office.)
Patrick: What's the big idea?
Commissioner: Hey, aren't you that idiot who screwed up the national anthem?
Patrick: Yes, I am, and you're the idiot who lied to us about Marine 5 performing Sweet Victory!
Commissioner: Squidward showed up, didn't he?
Patrick: That wasn't even Squidward! It was a cruddy knock-off of him!
(A Flash-animated version of Squidward in his conductor uniform is moving around stiffly in the corner of the office.)
Patrick: I'm sorry I have to do this, but you've given me no choice. I'm boycotting the next Bubble Bowl!
Commissioner: Oh, no! One of our 100 million viewers won't be tuning in next year! Whatever will I do?
Patrick: You'll do Sweet Victory right next year, with me on the drums and Sandy not on the trombone, because seeing her with a trombone still gives me nightmares!
Commissioner: I was being sarcastic! Get out of my office!
Patrick: You'll regret it! You'll all regret it!
Commissioner: I doubt it. We own a day of the week. We're untouchable.
(The commissioner's shellphone start to ring.)
Commissioner: (opens shellphone) Hello?
Caller: Hi, I represent the BFL owners, and we wanted to let you know that due to declining ratings, we've decided to fire you.
Patrick: I win!
Commissioner: Correction: The owners are untouchable. I'm dispensable.
Patrick: Wanna boycott the next Bubble Bowl with me?
Commissioner: Sure. I wasn't planning on watching it, anyway.
Patrick: Yeah! Victory is sweet!
Commissioner: I see what you did there.
Patrick: I did something?
(What a twist!)