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Metal Snake
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Posts posted by Metal Snake
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Whatever - Butthole Surfers
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Yes, this is legit. Butch Hartman finally left the company last week to pursue his own web projects.
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Episode 4: Tied Into All of This
We’re back on Total Japan Island, to see what happened after the boom!
“WHAT. THE. FUCK. BBBBBOOOOOMMMMM!!!!! OH! OH!” could be heard from the plane Crazy Celes crashed. She was watching a compilation of dated memes on the still functional passenger TV with Sonic the Hedgehog.
“Lame!” she proclaimed. “This is why I never touch the memes from the 00s. I always wait until the 10s! That’s when things really start to boom!”
“They sure do…” Sonic said bemusedly as he remembered waiting until the 10s for Sonic Boom, only to watch it bomb terribly.
Um...maybe we need to go back to what happened before the boom…
ONE TASTELESS HISTORICAL JOKE LATER
Kim Jong-un was with his soldiers, shooting an infomercial inside of a weed farm.
“Today, we show you that our Korea is not just socialist country of war!” he exclaimed. “It is fun socialist country of war!”
There was a pause of silence before Celes crashed the plane into the weed farm and into Kim Jong and the soldiers beside him, crushing and killing them instantly. While Celes was harmed as well, she had since regenerated from the damage done to her. The explosion that Adrian and Felix had heard happened at this time, with fire surrounding the plane and spreading to the weed, creating a familiar kind of smoke in the air. Some of the fire on the inside of the plane also began to slowly crawl towards Spongetron’s body...and she abruptly opened her eyes, now reborn as a Yo-Kai…
“FILM-CLI-CHES!” Celes exclaimed in tune to “DUN-DUN-DUN”. “Next thing you know, everyone is going to die with the exception of the two heroes, who will make it out entirely unscathed!”
Spongetron ignored the demon god’s ramblings and sucked the metal snakes who had bit her inside of her corpse, transforming herself into a robot that resembled an insect. She looked behind through one of the holes the metal snakes had made in the plane and saw her nemesis, Renegade, parachuting down to the ground with other SBC members who were fortunate enough to acquire parachutes before the plane went down.
“So Kim Jong-un is dead…” Ren said, viewing the scene of the plane crash before him. “Eh.”
“Thoughts?” Wumbo responded, curious.
“Eh.” Ren replied. “Happy?”
“such insightful thoughts” Homie remarked sarcastically.
“Hey, cut me some slack!” Ren exclaimed. “We’re in North Korea of all places!”
“Touche.” Jjs commented as Homie conceded. “We do need to watch what we say more than we normally do considering the circumstances.”
“would those circumstances involve me by any chance” Wumbo joked.
“Don’t worry, I got this.” Ren assured as he and the rest of the group landed.
Unfortunately, the gang landed near where a Korean soldier was patrolling. Having gotten a whiff of the smoke coming from the weed farm, he and a squad had followed it to investigate and had also now witnessed the entry of the SBC members.
“Who are you?!” the squad leader demanded answers from them, pointing a K2 assault rifle at them as his subordinates pointed K3 machine guns at them. “State your names and purpose!”
“Sup, Koreaboo?” Ren greeted them as he walked up to the squad leader, only for him to smack him in the stomach with his rifle in frustration.
“Arrest them all!” the squad leader ordered his men. “We’ll torture answers out of them!”
“What do we do?” the SBC members asked themselves as the soldiers held them at gunpoint and led them to a prison. “They’ll never believe we’re just stowaways from a Spongebob site...and if we tell them we were with that maniac who killed their leader, they’ll kill us for sure!”
After the squad who arrested the SBC members left, however, a new squad came to investigate the plane crash, where that maniac no longer resided. She had used her demon god powers to teleport to where Adrian and Felix were, leaving only one creature left for the squad to discover, and it wasn’t a blue hedgehog…
“Mwa ha ha ha ha…” Crazy Celes laughed evilly to herself. “Now it’s time to do what I do best...mess with these kids’ heads…”
Adrian and Felix were walking down a trail in search of Celes’ crashed plane and any survivors, with the rest of the team staying behind to watch the helicopter.
“Huh…” Adrian said as she found herself growing accustomed to her new clothing, having had to improvise and borrow a pair of men’s pants from a teammate after her other pants got soiled. “I guess Wayne’s World was right. At first it’s constrictive, but after a while, it becomes a part of you…”
“Wasn’t Garth talking about underwear in the movie though?” Felix replied.
“Who said I was talking about pants?” Adrian retorted. “They weren’t the only thing that got soiled, you know…”
“...I guess going commando wouldn’t have been much better…” an embarrassed Felix thought.
“Moving on from that,” said an equally abashed Adrian, “I’m surprised we haven’t run into any of Kim Jong’s commandos yet.”
“You think that Celes killed them?” Felix asked.
“If they had something to do with her show, I’m sure of it.” Adrian answered. “Celes’ only motive for doing evil things is to entertain herself, so I can easily imagine that the reason she dropped us here was because she got bored of her plan to cause a terrorist attack on the Twin Towers.”
“It’s even possible that she planned this all from the start.” Felix suggested. “But knowing her mental instability, it wouldn’t surprise me if there are things that she’s abruptly changing her mind on and just making up as she goes along…”
“Don’t look now, but I think that we’re about to see you’re right…” Adrian said as she stopped walking and held out her arm to halt her brother.
Both saw ahead of them something that had to be the work of the insane demon god...the South Korean animation studio that animates Spongebob Squarepants...in North Korea.
“I found a way to tie Spongebob into all of this!” Celes exclaimed maniacally.
That’s right, folks! This lit is now a spin-off! Tune in for more next week as Spongebob and Sandy finally get together while Sonic the Hedgehog watches!
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Ever Again - Andrew W.K.
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Absolutely stellar finale. Like many, despite this being a great, truly influential show, I'm glad that it's ending now on a high note. Even as I don't truly believe that we'd ever end up becoming the next Channel Awesome, Riffing Theater has served its purpose, like you implied. Even if the content of it remained of high-quality, it doesn't change the fact that the show is not something we "need" anymore. Commentary and riffing on other people's works is essentially just comedic reviewing, it can't take the place of actual shows on SBC. All the more motivation to be putting our time into making our own original content. I'll also thank SOF for the shout-out to me, I'm always willing to help him make a good show.
I guess I'll end this by saying that my top five favorite riffing projects, in no particular order, were Bikini Top Season 2 (even with the riffs of mine that I sort of regret now, everyone else's commentary was god-tier for 2014 standards), And Then There Were Less 3 (duh), Down Under (sorry that you didn't have fun with these riffs, but I'm very proud of the commentary I did on them), Eddsworld Meets Spongebob (still the worst SBC show I've ever read, but was too much bad fun not to love riffing), and of course, these one-shots. Literally, their only flaw was Elastic not being able to join us.
Amazing work, all of you. Thank you for how well you've managed this show, Jjs. I can not wait to see what new shows you have in store for the future, because the future is looking bright right now.
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19-2000 - Gorillaz
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Rx (Medicate) - Theory of a Deadman
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That was a big read. XD You did a good job working so much stuff into one episode with all the old characters coming back while still having plots with the main characters, villains, and fight sequences, even making a new character out of an old character that was referenced in the past. I also liked how you brought Mark back too, I will confess that would've left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth if Skipper really did help get him killed.
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Resident Evil 5.
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The first promo for Season 8 was posted January 29th.
https://www.equestriadaily.com/2018/01/my-little-pony-friendship-always-wins.html
The official video is gone now for an unknown reason, but a reupload shows that the new season will involve the main cast creating a school.
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Episode 3: Yo Korea!
Crazy Celes’ plane is trapped in a tailspin!
“That’s no good!” Sonic the Hedgehog exclaimed as he passed by, riding on Tails, who was flying by spinning his tails in the air.
How will she break out of it? She eventually breaks out of it.
“What the hell?!” Adrian yelled as she got out of the pilot seat. “You didn’t break out of it, I did! The only thing you broke out of was being trapped underneath my ass, and that’s only because I let you!”
“Like that’s something to brag about?!” Celes retorted as she fully regenerated herself back to normal. “You should already let me do what I want!”
“I don’t have time for your crap!” Adrian exclaimed as the sound of the plane’s exterior being broken through could be heard coming from the passenger’s room. “I have to help the people you dragged into it!”
Once Adrian rushed back to the passenger’s room, she saw what she had feared when she had first seen the metal snakes come to life...the motherfucking things were now trying to bust into the goddamn plane with their razor-sharp fangs that could dig into metal. Some of them even began to chew through it, and an ominous banging came from the cargo door in the back…
“FUCK!” Adrian bellowed in response to the impending threat. “Everyone, grab a parachute! We have to evacuate!”
“Mwa ha ha, just try it!” Celes proclaimed with a cackle over the pilot’s radio. “Even with a parachute, a drop from this height will land you to a fate worse than death...landing in North Korea!”
Everyone on the plane besides Adrian gasped dramatically, with a few dying of shortness of breath.
“Alas, the shock of me implying that North Korea was a shithole country was too much for some to bear!” Crazy Celes taunted them over the radio.
“Not for me.” Renegade the Unicorn boasted with a cocky grin. “I agree with Donald Trump’s stance on North Korea.”
“Oh really?” Celes retorted in a sickly sweet tone of voice. “Then I suppose you’d also agree with me bringing...FIRE AND FURY DOWN UPON THE COUNTRY!”
With that, the metal snakes broke through the cargo door in the back, just as Celes went full throttle on the plane controls, directing the plane down at an alarmingly high speed. Everyone was flung out of the plane, with the exception of Spongetron, who plunged herself into the fangs of the metal snakes at the wall to keep herself inside, wanting to die where her crush had. Luckily, some of the SBC users were able to grab parachutes in time, but unfortunately, by the time everyone was ejected from the plane, Adrian didn’t have a parachute. The last thing Spongetron saw was Adrian giving her parachute to Renegade in an act of sacrifice before she got ejected herself, which led her to tear up…
...at the prospect of someone she didn’t like surviving, of course. To pour extra salt on the wound, she saw Adrian beginning to remove her pants, reminding her that she would now never have the chance to get laid. Her last words to Ren, her nemesis, were…
“I’ll stalk you till the day you die...I never let go of a grudge…”
And with her final vow to creep on the creeper forever, she died from the poison the metal snakes injected into her body with their fangs. Meanwhile, Felix saw what had happened from his helicopter. Immediately, he had the pilot of the helicopter fly to where Adrian was. Upon arrival, he and the team reviled at the bloody mess before them in terror…
“MY PARACHUTE PANTS ARE RUINED!” one of the crew members screamed as he saw an irritated Adrian floating down, hanging onto the parachute pants the crew member had technologically modified to function like an actual parachute. “WHY WAS IT SO HARD TO JUST WEAR A TAMPON?!”
“It was Celes’ fault, not mine!” Adrian yelled, referring to how the back of her pants got ruined when she sat on Celes while she was a bloody pulp. “Forget about me, we need to find the survivors right away and then stop Celes from doing any more damage!”
*KABOOM*
As the explosion confirmed that they were too late, Felix responded by shrugging his shoulders and saying…
“At least we still have survivors we can help…”
However, he paused as the plane flew lower to the ground, enabling him to see another bloody mess, the SBC members without parachutes who were killed from the fall.
“...cross over peacefully.” he finished.
Unfortunately, that too soon proved to be a futile pursuit, as ghosts rose from the corpses of the SBC members, becoming Yo-Kai.
“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Felix yelled in frustration.
How will North Korea handle their nation being invaded by Japanese monsters? What will be the consequences of Crazy Celes’ crazy kamikaze move? Will the Trump administration be able to make Renegade’s dream come true, and end Teen Titans Go!?
A (fake) preview was then shown of Renegade playing Go (Chinese/Japanese checkers) on a Teen Titans-decorated board with a Korean insei (Go student).
Find out next time on Total! Japan! Island!
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Finale episodes are always the best, but out of the regular episodes, I think my favorites are Icebound, Evil Stone, Nick the Wizard, Ghost in the Machine, and Night of Fear.
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Nice, it is fun to read a first-timer's (sort of) take on a show I used to watch all the time.
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31 minutes ago, SpongeOddFan said:
This is could be one of strangest episode I've read, from A I to Ramo's past, and I honestly can say this is interesting to learn more Ramos's past then this AI thing.
I disagree. The A.I. is by far the most interesting one-off villain we've had so far that wasn't actually evil, in my opinion. It was only because of their own ship coming to life that they were able to defeat him, and it also provided some interesting thought about the nature of the machine spirit. That's not to say the subplot with Ramos wasn't decent, the sadism in it surprised me. He made the poor guy think he left a family to die, what a psycho. XD
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Like OMJ, I got nothing. We totally killed that, that was the perfect preparation for the finale.
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Episode 2: The Real Pilot
From where we last left off…
Felix Bruce, the cameraman who was filming the outside of the plane, was still standing where it last was.
“I...need to follow that plane, don’t I?” he said, bristling the back of his neck, embarrassed.
Fortunately, our second camera captured some important footage…
However, on the plane, it was revealed that Adrian, the one who was filming inside the plane, had abandoned duty to fight, throwing the camera to the floor. SOF had since picked it up, and was now running back and forth with it, trying to parody Cloverfield for the lulz. Meanwhile, Adrian was interrogating Jeffrey Scott, the one who had murdered Clappy and Jelly, punching and kicking him in his chair.
“Give it up already, you rat bastard!” she yelled at him before she smacked in the face and made him cough up blood. “This isn’t some game of “Good Cop, Bad Cop”, you either tell me, or you get to suffer some more before you tell me!”
“I already told you everything I know!” Jeffrey claimed. “My name is Jeffrey Scott! I JUST WOKE UP AND FOUND OUT THAT I PROBABLY IMPULSIVELY MURDERED TWO PEOPLE! I DON’T KNOW WHY I DID IT, I MUST HAVE AMNESIA OR SOMETHING! FUCK YOU, MAN!”
“Oh, well okay, fuck you too.” Adrian retorted before she grabbed a frying pan off the waiter’s cart and whacked the killer in the head with it, knocking him out. “I was just bluffing, I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt you had no motive. I’d prefer to find out more about this shit myself rather than play around with you. Besides, I want to take a break now.”
“Oh no you don’t…” CDCB said as he pulled out his gun. 70s pulled out his gun as well, and the two of them shot the waiter and Metal Snake (the bullets entered their hearts, killing them instantly). They also shot Adrian (the bullets they fired at her, she deflected with the frying pan).
“Looks like they figured out our little secret, eh, CDCB?” 70s told his killing friend as they shared a cartoonish laugh together, one that was quickly interrupted by Adrian grabbing another frying pan off the waiter’s cart and smacking them both in the heads too.
“What secret would that be, the fact that you’re both fucking crazy?!” she remarked as she knocked them out and they fell to the floor unconscious. “Something’s wrong here, there has to be a reason the passengers on this plane are going nuts and killing each other...it must be Crazy Celes. Her aura of insanity must be spreading to the passengers, making them become crazy enough to murder people!”
Spongetron overheard this and gasped.
“People?!” she exclaimed at the mention. “You mean…”
She gasped when she saw the body of Metal Snake lying dead in the seat.
“LUKE!” she yelled. “NNNNNOOOOO!!!!!”
She continued screaming, “NNNNNOOOOO!!!!!”, as she went over to Metal Snake, then hummed, “Doo-doo-doo…”, as she tiptoed around Clappy and Jelly’s bodies and put the waiter’s body on his cart nicely before kicking it out of the way, then carried on with yelling, “NNNNNOOOOO!!!!!”, until she reached his seat. She then started singing the first exercise song from the end credits of Yo-Kai Watch, as the other people on the plane gave her looks of bemusement.
“How disrespectful.” Steel remarked. “That was already an extremely rude, self-centered, thoughtless, mean-spirited, and sloppy act to only care enough about the waiter to give him a proper send-off, and then she has to sing such unfitting music to her “love”, whom while I understand had not been the best person to his fans, lying to them and plagiarizing the work of Elastic and Jjsthekid, still deserved better.”
“...Thanks, Hamlet?” Adrian thought to herself. “Why am I still sticking around here? I need to go take care of that crazy bitch before I end up losing it…”
After Adrian went to the pilots room to confront Celes, Wumbo felt he had to let something out…
“Man, what Steel just said cheesed me off!” he yelled. “No one cares that Luke was shit to his fans! You got that, everyone except Steel?!”
“Eh, I can see how it’s a bit disrespectful.” Jjs remarked. “I will give Steel credit though for making the most confusing eulogy I’ve ever seen.”
But alas, Jjs’ attempt to remain neutral failed to quell the inexplicable rage that was rising amongst the community (unsurprisingly). Eventually, SOF had to let something out as well. He threw the camera down, and at the same time the entertainment being shown to the passengers switched to an Emperor Lemon YTP playing the notorious clip from Snakes on a Plane, he yelled…
“ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!”
He ran over to where Metal Snake’s body was, pushed Spongetron aside, then lifted Metal’s body up and threw him out the window. Metal’s body, after being flung outside, floated from the wind into one of the plane’s turbine engines. The spinning blade ground his body up into a pulp of blood...and squirming metal that exuded a ghostly aura…
In the plane, Spongetron and SOF were crusing at each other angrily while Adrian was slowly sneaking up on Crazy Celes in the pilot’s room with a frying pan in hand…
*BAM*
She smashed the frying pan into the back of her head, but instead of knocking her out, it flattened her head into the shape of the frying pan as if she was a classic cartoon character.
“Ha ha!” Crazy Celes laughed, ready to gloat. “You know, for an obvious SJW protagonist, I was expecting better than weapons women used in the 50s!”
“Oh, don’t worry, I can do better.” Adrian responded with a smirk, confident of the damage she could do with her footwear. “I just recently got into football...”
Adrian then did a swift drop kick right into Celes’ face, squishing her and grinding her into a bloody mess with the cleats she was wearing.
“It’s no use!” Celes cried, still alive from her demon god powers. “I’m an immortal god! I can just regenerate!”
“Regenerate my ass!” Adrian retorted as she sat on Celes and crushed her more with her butt to stymie her regeneration process. “I’m going to stop this plane!”
But as Adrian got into the pilot’s seat and tried to figure out the controls, a new threat appeared outside the plane...a swarm of metal snakes crawling on the window to the left of her.
“Wow, this feels weirdly familiar.” Jjs remarked as he vaguely remembered something he had written in one of his shows just last year.
“One too many metal snakes.” Clappy’s ghost remarked as he completely remembered something he had written seven years ago. “Did you forget your password, Metal Snake?”
“THE GHOSTMASTER’S BACK TO GIVE US SHIT FROM EYEAR AGO THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT OR REMEMBERS!!!” Dragiiin yelled.
“Now do you see what I was trying to do?!” Spongetron exclaimed. “My singing was soothing the souls of the departed, keeping them from becoming ghosts! But now it’s too late!”
Again, the outside of the plane was shown. With the turbine engine destroyed, the plane could no longer take the onslaught of the metal snakes, and began to go down in a tailspin. Felix had finally caught up with the plane in an airborne vehicle of his own, looking out from a helicopter to film the outside...only to see the aforementioned.
“D’oh…” he said in a defeated tone.
“Well there’s the story, folks!” SOF remarked. “Metal Snake became a Yo-Kai! Good night, everyone!”
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I will return the compliment by saying that I've always liked our friendship too.
You're a very nice member yourself and this was a very sweet thing to write. 
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TDD has 52 episodes? Oh boy...so that's where the 13 other episodes of the past seasons went.
I always liked what I saw of this show, but never got deeply invested into it. I enjoyed watching episodes of the first three seasons when CN would marathon it, but the only season I ever saw in full was Revenge of the Island.
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Crazy Celes
Since I've already received, "Huh? I don't get this." comments about this show through PM, I'll do a double clarification and say that no, this is not a rip-off of any shows from SBC's past, that was just a joke.
This is a parody of shows from SBC's past that will also lampoon real-world events. The Real Pilot will air January 25th.
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Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
"Just fanservice" my (and Meryl's) ass. This game rules.
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I love how Tom has no fear of death or anything in general it seems. No way is a simple fire going to kill such an awesome character. Also, yay. Jake is going to "turn evil". This is going to add some flavor to his romance with Audrey, for sure. >:)
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Aside from the out-of-nowhere drama mockery, the only thing I think could even be considered actual parody of Bikini Top in this entire thing is a subtle lampooning of its unnecessary inclusion of Spongebob characters, since there was no reason for Spongebob characters to be in this. It would be the same thing if you used OCs and/or SBC members. This really shows where the "IT'S SATIRE!" defense falls flat, when you're barely doing satire of anything. It's almost equivalent to riffing a work while barely contributing any commentary.
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Mystic Guardians
in Davy Jones' Locker
Posted
Pretty witch episode.
I love how we don't know whether the deer is good or bad just yet, but I'm sure what will happen with it will be pretty warlock regardless.