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CDCB

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Posts posted by CDCB

    CDCB Answers All

    in Ask Me

    Posted

    Just now, E.V.I.L said:

    If you were given 1,000,000 to become a gingerbread cookie, would you?

    Sure. I'd become a stale one because nobody would wanna eat me. ;)

    Stuff Happens to SpongeBob

    in Davy Jones' Locker

    Posted

    4a "Forty-Two" 

    It was a nice relaxing day in Bikini Bottom. SpongeBob was hanging out at Goo Lagoon working on that ol' tan when suddenly he felt a rumbling in his stomach. Luckily for SpongeBob, there were plenty of food stands open in Goo Lagoon today. He walked over to the nearest one.

    "One hot dog, please!" he said hungrily.

    "Excellent choice, sir!" said the vendor. "That'll be $42, please."

    "Sure thi--wait WHAT?!" shouted SpongeBob. "$42? But... but I thought... Didn't hot dogs used to cost--?"

    "Inflation," sighed the hot dog vendor.

    "There goes my pay check..." grumbled SpongeBob as he handed over the moolah to the vendor. 

    "Here ya are!" said the vendor, handing SpongeBob 42 hot dogs.

    SpongeBob did a double take. "...uhh... Are you sure you got my order right?" he inquired.

    "Yes sir. 42 hot dogs," replied the vendor.

    "Errr, I'm pretty sure I just ordered one," SpongeBob insisted.

    "Right," agreed the vendor. "42 hot dogs."

    SpongeBob didn't see any point in continuing to argue, so he accepted his month's supply of hot dogs and walked back to where he'd set up his beach towel. He wasn't quite sure what was going on, and it was starting to make him a little nervous. He wasn't sure why, but as he took a bite of his first hot dog, he decided to count the foot stands.

    "...39... 40... 41... 42," he counted. "42 huh? That's a lot of food sta--..." 

    SpongeBob spit out the last bit of hot dog in shock. He counted the stores 41 more times just to be sure. Each time, it came out as 42. 

    "I... think it's time I headed back," SpongeBob said nervously. He ran as fast as his 42 legs could carry him, so fast that he tripped over a rock at 42nd Street and crashed through the window of Bikini Bottom's 42nd National Bank, landing in a pile of $42 bills.

    "Are you okay, kid?" a customer asked. He was wearing a 42 gallon hat.

    "WHAT IS GOING ON?!" screamed SpongeBob, crashing through another window and falling from the 42nd story of the bank. He made a crater in the ground so deep that he landed in Davy Jones' Locker. The Flying Dutchman looked delighted to see SpongeBob, as if he'd been expecting him.

    "Room for one more, Spongey," he laughed ghoulishly.

    *poof*

    SpongeBob awoke on the couch. The TV was on and he could hear a familiar voice talking on the TV.

    "And that concludes our 8 hour marathon of The Tidelife Zone. I am your host, Cod Serling."

    "No more scary shows before bed, Gary..." shuddered SpongeBob as he turned over on his side and went back to sleep.

    • Like 3

    The Best Day Ever album

    in Topics

    Posted

    1 hour ago, Cha said:

    Best Day Ever, Employee of the Month, Superior and Bikini Bottom/Rock Bottom. All of it was fire though (minus Sandy's song).

    What's wrong with Who Wants to Race Me? D:

    Stuff Happens to SpongeBob

    in Davy Jones' Locker

    Posted

    3b "SpongeBob Becomes a Mattress"
    Written by Fa and CDCB

    SpongeBob and Patrick were at Bikini Bottom's local department store, Dearly Department, searching for a new blender. SpongeBob's old blender had broken, and he couldn't make his world famous Krabby Patty smoothies without out. Patrick kept distracting SpongeBob with his usual antics.

    "Hey SpongeBob!" said Patrick. "Look what I can do!" He put two large mixing spoons on his eyeballs and wiggled them around like windshield wipers.

    "Cut it out, Pat!" scolded SpongeBob. "I just want to get my blender, okay?"

    "I don't get it..." Patrick confessed. "Why are we getting a blender anyway? Why not something cool like... oven mitts? Or a TV? Or... or oven mitts?"

    "Because you put all that canned bread in the old blender! WITH the can!" groaned SpongeBob.

    "Ha ha, yeah..." reminisced Patrick.

    Patrick walked into the bed section without thinking about it and began sleeping on the bed, drooling and everything on it. The owner of the store, watching from a distance, was furious.

    "Big pink tubby man, get off the bed immediately!" He screamed over the intercom. Hearing this, SpongeBob knew immediately this pink tubby man...

    "Patrick, you should do what the man saaaayyyyysssssWHOA!!!" 

    In his desperate attempt to keep Patrick out of trouble, SpongeBob slipped on a stray rolling pin and landed face first on the floor right in front of his big pink tubby friend. The impact temporarily KO'd him.

    Walking down the aisle at the same time was a wealthy looking fish with a terrible sense of style.

    "Why oh why did Snuffles have to snail shit all over the mattress?!" he screamed at himself. "Where am I going to find a new exotic mattress for my party tonight for the lady fish?"

    He then walked by knocked out af SpongeBob

    "Perfect! It's unlike anything I've ever seen!" he shouted.

    "Why thank you," chuckled SpongeBob.

    "Wow! And it talks too!" exclaimed the customer. "I'm buying you!" He walked away carrying SpongeBob, much to Patrick's horror.

    "Hey, come back with my friend!" shouted Patrick as he ran after the guy, but he didn't make it far. His shorts fell down and he tripped over them. By the time he pulled them back up, the shopper had already bought SpongeBed and was headed home.

    Patrick panted heavily on the ground as he cursed at the fancy fish shopper, vowing to get SpongeBob back. Meanwhile SpongeBob entered his new "home."

    "Now I'll put you down right here..." the fish said.

    "Oh, why thank you." SpongeBob said. "This is quite comfy."

    "TIme for a test run." the fish said as he laid on SpongeBob, to our hero's horror.

    Suddenly SpongeBob didn't enjoy being a mattress anymore. He tried to slide out from underneath the fish, but the fish's large arse had him pinned to the ground. All SpongeBob could do was savor the (dis)pleasure of being slept on... but then he heard a knock on a nearby window.

    "Patrick?" he whispered, though he wasn't sure why. He kinda wanted the fish to wake up.

    "Don't worry, buddy!" Patrick called from behind the glass. "I'm bailin' you outta here!"

    The wealthy fish got up to close the window blinds, not noticing Patrick due to being half asleep still.

    "Crud, how am I going to get in there?" Patrick asked himself. He then saw a flier for a party at the fish's house.


    "Ladies only wanted! Ladies are desired free of charge!" it read. Patrick then pondered.

    "I guess it's time... To bring Patricia back for another tango." Patrick said sinisterly to himself.

    That evening, SpongeBob's captor awoke to a knock at the door. 

    "Excuuuuuuse me!" said the visitor flirtatiously. "May I come innnnn?"

    The fish happened to be an easily persuaded fish, so as soon as he heard Patricia's feminine voice, he bolted for the door and let her in.

    "What brings you here, toots?" said the fish, clicking his teeth together.

    "Why I would like to... examine your bed... if you know what I mean?" Patricia continued vivaciously. The fish took this to mean she wanted to be lit up so to speak. Patricia walked over to SpongeBed.

    "Hey buddy!" Patricia said. "I'm gonna get you out of here!"

    "Yay, but how?" SpongeBob asked.

    "Just let this fair lady do her magic on this sir here." Patricia said with a smirk, disgusting SpongeBob. The fish came over and sat on SpongeBob with Patricia.

    "So Mr. ummm..." She began.

    "Edgar Fishington." He said.

    "Mr. Edgeworth... shall we put the lime in the coconut?" Patricia said with a wink.

    "And drink it all up?" grinned Edgar.

    "Knock knock!" replied Patricia.

    "Uhh, Patricia. I don't want you guys having any knock knocks on me..." said SpongeBed nervously.

    "Excuse me!" said Patricia, appalled. "Is that a TALKING mattress?!"

    "Why yes it is... sweetheart," said Edgar.

    "Don't 'sweetheart' me!" shouted Patricia, now in a rage. "I abhor beds that can watch my every move! I'll be taking that monstrosity and disposing of it at once!"

    Edgar grabbed Patricia by the hand and pulled her back.

    "Patricia, don't go!" Edgar said."I've fallen in love with you in these 8 minutes I've spent with you and I can't bear for you to leave me!"

    Patricia's eyes welled up with tears that she couldn't hold back anymore. "Edgar! I need you!" Patricia said as she grabbed Edgar and they embraced... on top of SpongeBed.

    "GAAAAAAH!" he screamed as the action went on... top of him. (smirk)

    • Like 5

    The Best Day Ever album

    in Topics

    Posted

    Don't recall there being a topic for this. Anyway, there was an album released in 2006 that contains mostly new songs in addition to the eponymous track. I always thought the album was pretty fantastic, and it was nice how they gave it a plot. Kinda harkens back to the Ren & Stimpy albums which all had plots.

    I think my favorite track is Barnacles. What about you guys?

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