[Steel's Top 100 Music Artists of All-Time]

Just letting folks know that this isn't dead. I'll post the next 25 reveals by late June. The top 100 reveals (by which the thread will transition into 10 reveals per post) will start sometime in early July after I return from an anime convention I'm planning on going to during that time.

[Nickelodeon Schedule Discussion Thread]

Look at the stars
Look at how they shine for you
And everything you do...

[Steel's Top 10 Animations of 2015 (Revised)]

For those who haven't seen, I made my first "annual" top 10 animations of the year list back in 2016, covering my favorite animated works from the year 2015. Like most things, though, my first isn't the best, and after the years have all come and gone, I've come back to it with strong opinions towards that old list (I also feel the same with my old 2016 list so expect a new one for that year someday or someyear too). Granted, it was on 'limited options,' so most folks looking at it right now would be like "these choices aren't bad at all expect Good Dinosaur and Star S1," but now that I have broadened my experiences, I've been feeling like it was time for a revision for a while. My #1 wouldn't change, although looking at what will now be the old list, I would make new room for a lot of other stuff.

Of course, not now, but soon. I also have my 2019 list to work on and write for (I'll even admit that I may already have my top 10 settled though I plan on watching a few other films/shows beforethen), but this will come first. 

[The SBC Community Mixtape #11]

I'm here to claim feel good hit of the summer before anyone else

[2000s commercial music playlist challenge]

The main challenge is to listen to the full playlist. Plus, a bonus challenge in which you'll have to identify what each one was used in what specific commercial from the time period. Anyone who gets the most right (and you are allowed to use Google for all of them) answers sent to me (or is the first to send to me, depending on how this pans out) will be rewarded with a very early exclusive preview of a mashup for a new VeggieTales Behind the Wheel project. 

[SWYAD: Technology Edition]

Mr. Electric

[The SBC Community Mixtape #10]

 

[Puss in Boots: The Last Wish]

The long-awaited sequel to the first Puss in Boots film from 2011 and- oh wait, this already came out a few months ago.

Anyways, lots of folks have been talking about how great this movie was. We even discussed it on the Discord server, but I didn't see a thread for it on here, so I might as well start. This is is an animated film that I do highly recommend, but I still feel iffed over some people putting this film on a pedestal like it's the "gold standard" for animated movies - representing what "they once were" and "what they should be," so I wouldn't hold my breath towards this being the start of a Dreamworks renaissance era like most others are saying it is.

[Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken]

Dreamworks' newest feature film after the successful Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, releasing in a few months after having been in development hell for a while.

Not gonna mince words here, i don't think this will do as well as its predecessor and as much as I wouldn't want to see this fail, at the very least, the internet grifters won't be able to use "BUT IT'S NOT WOKE DISNEY!!!" as an excuse to defend the film if it flops.

[014b. FitzPatrick]

On 4/10/2023 at 8:44 AM, Jjs Goodman said:

Guest Star: Henry Rollins

Oh hey, it's Zaheer from Legend of Korra.

[Velma animated series review]

Hello, internet. Steel Sponge here, I am your local animation reviewer. Today, I've finally caved in. I've decided that I'm going to review the newest series from HBO Maxis, and all I can say is that it's the best thing I've seen since the Sopranos got canceled.

This is my deep, earnest, emotional review of show called Tyrant.

...Or as it is known by most people, Velma. Velma is developed by former Saturday Night Live writer Charlie Grandy and it stars Mindy Kaling as the titular character. Mindy Kaling is best known for her role as Kelly Kapoor, but her subsequent appearances in shows like The Mindy Project have shown that she can be a capable actress on her own as well.

Velma is an adult-animated series based on the Scooby-Doo franchise that puts the aptly-named character in the spotlight. Velma is a young woman who is raised by a single mother after her parents were brutally murdered in the Middle East. She lives her life seemingly blissfully ignorant of the fact that the world is plagued by mysterious murders taking place within her vicinity. You know, just the kind of stuff that you'd expect from an edgy reimagining of Scooby-Doo.

Although Scooby-Doo doesn't make an appearance in Velma whatsoever, the other members of the mystery solving gang are there, including Shaggy, whose character is obviously inspired by Scooby-Doo himself. Both Shaggy and Daphne have a noticeable sense of insecurity about their lives, but Velma feels her brains are far more useful to solving mysteries.

It's also worth noting how much some of the other characters have been changed compared to their original incarnations. Daphne, for example, is now voiced by Amy Poehler, and is the only one who doesn't have a catchphrase. Velma has been replaced by a young lady named Vanessa. Despite this, the original voice actors like Adam Carolla still keep their original roles. Then there's Fred Jones, whose character is now voiced by none other than Jason Sudeikis. In addition, the usual suspects Scooby-Doo, Shaggy, and Daphne have been replaced with new characters such as Marsha Warfield as the Mayor's wife.

Where the problems start with Velma is hard to explain, because there's just so much to unpack, but for starters, the show actually is based on Scooby-Doo, which means that I'm fairly familiar with the source material. Velma's move to the Middle East may have been the source of a lot of unrest in the region, but that's not what I'm going to focus on for the review.

I realize that not everyone reads this thing, but I'm sure everyone is aware of the outrage that this series has caused, with the backlash including and not being limited to people who are either conservative Republicans, right wing Islamophobes or David Duke. You see, the show is set in Syria, with Syria being a very corrupt, autocratic dictatorship. Considering the portrayal of the country, the criticism is, of course, justified.

However, that's not the main issue most people tend to have with Velma. The series' flaws are within the presentation, in which the decision to use the Arabic alphabet to script the show is its own, unique burden, as well as the fact that the main antagonist of the series is named Juma. Okay, back on topic. One of the main issues with Velma is actually the writing. The writing in the show is so awkward and forced, it feels like some sort of inferior version of Archer that someone like Pamela Adlon would be making.

A few examples: Velma ends up paying a visit to her absent father on a side trip to Syria, with the promise to stay for a few days. Before she does that, however, she takes the time to (rather poorly) check her emails.

Second, Velma's mother tells Velma that her father left his wife and children a gift. Unfortunately, she takes so long to decide what to give her dad that it turns into three hours. Like, how is this taking three hours to decide what to give the man is beyond me.

Another one of the main issues with the series is the humor. The jokes are not very funny at all and at times are borderline unfunny, which is especially true when you compare them to the writing in Archer. All jokes in this show are well placed and delivered with a modicum of class. There are just so many meta jokes to the point of redundancy. Velma's meta humor is actually not that bad. She's an art major. And, as you've probably noticed by now, art is usually pretty hilarious, which is why I know the other characters aren't always laughing with her. And then, you have to deal with the show's typical edgelord humor. Some examples of the worst jokes from Velma include :

(Referring to people as a "handicap")

Another part of the show's edgelord humor involves Fred Jones' obsession with slop dishes. For whatever reason, Fred Jones enjoys eating slop, but doesn't want people to know about it, which is why, at one point, Velma decides to surprise her friends with a recipe book that's full of weird eating habits. One of the pages actually reads: "Nom nom nom.” Now, I'm not usually so much of a good jokester, but I feel like even I could write a better joke than that: "What do you call the clientele of a dentist's office?" "They're my cheerleaders." It doesn't even matter that I write like that. It's still one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen.

Despite the humor being incredibly juvenile at times, the one aspect of the show that's undeniably a huge asset is the music. The songs in the show are fine, just fine. It's one of the few positive aspect the series has going for it. Although, I do take issue with the licensed use of the song titled "Syrup On the End," featuring Irish boy band Westlife. Not sure what the specific licensing issues were, but it's just a little jarring.

However, when it comes to the visuals, Velma is as visually impressive for an animated series that is bad in multiple other aspects. It's like if I told you that Jessica Jones was an enjoyable film, even if Jessica Jones herself wasn't that great. This is the same scenario.

I think one of the worst scenes from the Velma show would have to be the lead-in to the very end. You have to go into this show with an assumption that the villain is Juma. Therefore, you don't really care who the main protagonist is. As it turns out, Velma and Juma are mortal enemies, which is so incredibly obvious that it should be a red flag to the creators of the series that no one was watching the pilot when they titled it "Turbo Teen!" I think I know they want the audience to think it's such a pivotal moment, but that doesn't make me wish for more. Another scene I really didn't like was the part where Velma and her friends have a party for their mothers. These girls would have benefited from a deeper character study. It would have added an extra layer to the story, but the writers clearly weren't interested in giving the viewers more insight into their characters. If they were going to put themselves in Velma's shoes, the least they could have done was get the likeness right.

Although, the series is filled with negatives, there are a few moments that I did like. One of the few redeeming moments from Velma was the surprise cameo from none other than Lady Gaga, in which her character seeks revenge on a public school Velma attends. This is probably the closest thing to a likable character in this show, but only because Lady Gaga is highly talented and is a well-respected public figure. The only other part I kinda liked was the part where Velma said "It's a paint gun." Oh, Velma, you fool. You should have said "It's a paint bomb."

Source: Read More on BrickWire

Melissa McBride Returns to 'The Walking Dead' in Season 9 Teaser

PATH To Fuller House

Excuse me from ending the review too early without summing up my thoughts. I could really use an editor. Anyways, Velma was not good. The series is bad and needs to be dead. RIP. To explain myself further on why this wasn't a good show, it's because I watched it for an easy reference for my sister. At least I tried. I still do not recommend the show.

Disclosure: I am/we are long MGA, VIAB.

I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinion on this otherwise very infamous animated series. If I were to give Velma a score between 1 and 10, I'd say that I would give it a 0. Instead of this show, I would suggest watching "Tom and Jerry Kids," which is a safer choice for kids who are still being exposed to animated programming.

Additional disclosure: Please don't sue me for any physical or mental damages that might have occurred by watching this show. Thank you for your time.

I'll end this review by saying "If this were a show, I wouldn't have watched it." And just like what the great late animation veteran William Hanna once said, "I would have been embarrassed to have been associated with it."

Ahhhh, Velma. Velma was definitely good at the end.

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter, like me on Facebook, or follow my YouTube. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going on a trip to visit my relatives in Canada. Have fun out there!

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author's and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of an AI, who certainly didn't help write most of this review. Yep, nothing out of the ordinary, just keep enjoying your April Fools day like normal.

[The SBC Community Mixtape #9]

...Plus these three songs that are unavailable on Spotify if you can add them:

 

[SBC Ranks the Billboard Year-End Hot 100 #1s (Sign-ups & submissions open)]

Recently on Discord, we've discussed a certain past project where some members back in 2015 had ranked the worst and best songs to top the year-end Hot 100 lists:

As a throwback, I've decided to organize a new one altogether, and it's open to everyone who is interested. Some simple rules to follow before submitting:

1. Message me on the forums or on the Discord server your top 10 and bottom 10 lists.
2. No joke submissions.
3. For reference, here is a playlist of all of the songs that everyone needs to listen to and rank for their lists (credit goes to Fred for this):

[Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey]

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/winnie_the_pooh_blood_and_honey

The critics have spoken. 5% on RT with a consensus that reads "Oh, bother."

[Måneskin]

One of the worst newer rock music acts making waves right now. I don't get the appeal for this group at all. Damiano can't sing, the band's sound is stockpiled with overdone rock music cliches, and the same goes for the band's songwriting, which ranges from weak & formulaic to borderline cringe.

BUT...as I'm fully aware, Måneskin has their fans, including some that are members on this website, so I figured it would be interesting to open up a discussion for such a polarizing group. Whether you really like or dislike this band, feel free to go off.

 

[The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder]

One of Disney+'s newer shows that is a revival of The Proud Family and is currently notorious for reminding us that slavery existed (and subsequently making a bunch of white ppl butthurt over it just because and among other things). I haven't seen the show myself (yet...) but I've known some folks on here that have. Discuss.

[The SBC Community Mixtape #8]

 

[Artificial Intelligence ruined the SpongeBob theme]

The Nicki Minaj one is on a whole other dimension.

[Steel's Top 100 Music Artists of All-Time]

STEEL'S TOP 100 ARTISTS (#150-126)

 

Spoiler

150. T. Rex

T. Rex, otherwise known as the supreme frontrunners of the glam rock scene…until Queen came to quickly take their throne. Even though they reached an early peak (followed by frontman Marc Bolan’s untimely death in 1977), their influence in 70s rock music shouldn’t go without notice. Bolan has the animated presence and as well as the distinctive performing style to boast. The band as a whole has quite the selection of high energy rock jams in their arsenal, whether we’re talking about their biggest non-album hits, or their two greatest gems in Electric Warrior and The Slider. For anyone into 70s rock, T. Rex is a must-listen.

Best songs: 20th Century Boy, Children of the Revolution, The Slider, Metal Guru
Best album: The Slider

Spoiler

149. The Offspring

Here I have what may as well be the trashiest band that I have on my list, and of all people that I have to credit for my discovery of The Offspring, it’s Jjs, who had me sample “You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” when I approached him for music suggestions for my Guru Gakuto spin-off ages ago. Yeah, and I would re-discover the band through noticing a popular Rainbow Dash PMV of a nightcore edit of the same song not long after. Those were some strange times.

Okay, so that’s enough with my nostalgia of the band, what makes this band good enough for my list? The Offspring is one of those bands that I’ve grown to like naturally. I’ve come to appreciate their ear for fast-paced punk rhythms and for their earworm melodies once I discovered more of their songs. Dexter Holland is additionally underrated as a vocalist and his emotional range carries quite a lot of their songs. They have fallen off lately, but their older material will always hold a special place for me.

Best songs: Self-Esteem, Gone Away, Amazed, Hammerhead
Best album: Ixnay on the Hombre

Spoiler

148. Lily Allen

In a world full of disposable British pop music starlets, Lily Allen stood out among the rest. She debuted with a reggae and ska-influenced pop album containing a selection of humorous yet also sharply written tracks. Of course, the Amy Winehouse comparisons are to be expected when Allen also has ties to producer Mark Ronson whilst releasing a project around the same timeframe, but regardless, she still shines with a personality and style of her own that can be viewed through her craft. Her music career has been quiet for a while, so I can only hope that she manages to pull out something great for her comeback.

Best songs: The Fear, LDN, Smile, Everyone’s at It
Best album: Alright, Still

Spoiler

147. Father John Misty

Josh Tillman, a.k.a. Father John Misty, is the first of quite a few music nerd darlings that you’re going to be seeing on this set of reveals. Former drummer for Fleet Foxes (which, of course, won’t be on this list), Tillman puts his own eccentric spin on the indie folk and chamber pop sound, coupled by his oddly engaging songwriting (he’s been able to keep me on the edge of my seat with a 13 minute long piece about L.A.), with how he touches on topics like depression, drug use, and existentialism in ways that manage to make me feel touched by them.

Best songs: Pure Comedy, Total Entertainment Forever, Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings, I Love You, Honeybear
Best album: Pure Comedy

Spoiler

146. Julia Holter

In this following reveal of music artists that I’ve put as high for respecting a lot more than enjoying, here’s Julia Holter, who is yet another niche music critic darling. Her albums from 2013 up till her most recent, Aviary, are all exceptionally good in their own right. I don’t come back to them so often, sure, so this is more out of respect than out of enjoyment, but an avant-pop artist as remarkable and innovative as Holter is still rewarding of a spot on my list.

Best songs: Silhouette, Words I Heard, Sea Calls Me Home, This Is a True Heart
Best album: Have You in My Wilderness

Spoiler

145. Frank Ocean

Frank Ocean is one of those critic darlings that I do respect yet I also find to be pretty…dare I say, overrated. It may be because I don’t see myself having such a deep connection towards any of his songs that most others do to put him on such a high pedestal. On the other hand, he was still remarkable for what he was when he had established himself as this fresh, distinctive new personality in modern R&B and hip hop, and I can see how he’s made an impact. On top of that, he has made two really great albums, though I still feel is otherwise not enough for me to grasp if he is the best of the best. While he’s been quiet lately, I do hope he breaks that silence soon enough since I trust him to keep coming around with new, interesting material.

Best songs: Bad Religion, Self-Control, Pyramids, Nights
Best album: Blonde

Spoiler

144. Vampire Weekend

Yeah, I don’t feel the hype for this band as much as I used to when I discovered them, but I do still consider them as one of the most-defining indie pop artists from their era. They have a distinctive sound that is backed up by a good selection of bops including and not limited to “Oxford Comma,” “Diane Young,” “Run,” “Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa,” “Cousins,” and “Obvious Bicycle,” and when the focus of their charm is not on their ear for melody, it’s towards their introspective songwriting as well. While there has been a lot of other music artists I’ve grown more attached to, Vampire Weekend is another name I can’t leave out.

Oh and these songs are good too: Giving Up the Gun, A-Punk, Hannah Hunt, California English
Best album: Contra

Spoiler

143. Jimmy Eat World

Jimmy Eat World was my introduction to the world of emo as I’m sure it was to most others. In some ways, they could be viewed as an entry-level act, but regardless, they do have plenty of good, memorable, and applicable songs in them, with their Bleed American album being the one that I’ve connected with most in my 20s. Even their earlier material from Clarity is something to be impressed with. They haven’t hit that same exact stride as album artists after they put themselves on the map, but every once in a while, they continue to show their original power pop spirit.

Best songs: A Praise Chorus, My Best Theory, The Middle, Blister
Best album: Bleed American

Spoiler

142. Mitski

When I first heard Mitski’s music, I remember feeling pretty stunned. When I mustered up the time to listen to some of her albums, I could already tell why she’s an enduring critic darling. She has a gentle and as well as a strident side in her music that I find both to be engaging and filled with raw emotion, and I think my positives towards Mitski’s music is mostly factored into her voice, as her brooding vocal style captivates every time, no matter the tone she sets. In other words, Mitski is a very talented singer-songwriter. 

Best songs: Your Best American Girl, Francis Forever, Townie, Washing Machine Heart
Best album: Bury Me at Makeout Creek

Spoiler

141. Panic! at the Disco

Okay…so after breezing through a variety of what I labeled as critic darlings, here’s one that is lesser of a darling. Panic! at the Disco, or the Brendon Urie Experience, (or, for those familiar with the meme I recently made, Dannon! at the Disco), is a difficult music act for me to discuss for a variety of reasons, and I’m going to start with the bluntest of them all – out of all 175 music acts in this countdown, I consider Panic! at the Disco to be the most fundamentally flawed. I could already guarantee that some folks will take issue with this placement, whether it’s because you feel like I should’ve put this lower than the critically acclaimed Father John Misty, Julia Holter, Vampire Weekend, Mitski, Spoon, The Mars Volta, and etcetera, along with proclaimed music legends like Chuck Berry and Elton John, or it’s because I have put this band-turned-solo act too low on my list, as their music resonates with those who grew up during their prime, including myself. Of course, this is my list after all, so I think this is a proper enough placement for a music act that I have a great deal of nostalgia towards along and as well as a great deal of grievances towards.

If it’s not already telling, my feelings towards Panic’s last two albums is a major contributing factor as to why they’re this high on my list. I was going to approach my long piece on Panic! with a closing statement where I express my hopes that Brendon Urie improves his craft, but as I’m writing this right now, it is in the wake of Brendon announcing the end of the said music project to start a family, so now I’m left with an eulogy of sorts to write up because of this inconvenient timing. First thing I should say, no matter what ideas or sounds Brendon or his long-former bandmates have latched onto, there wasn’t pleasing everyone. Their debut was lambasted by critics before being embraced by them within time and that was due to Panic! immediately being put on the map by those who had embraced their eccentric approach to pop punk with Brendon’s grandiose vocal work, the accompanying Vegas showmanship of the band’s sound, and their peculiar lyricism. Then when Pretty. Odd. came around, critics were quick to embrace this new direction, but the fans were quick to bemoan audience alienation as they were thrown off by it at first because it took away what made A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out so fun to listen to, but within time it became considered as Panic!’s best album, including by me (And I know what you may be asking, “Seriously, you think Pretty. Odd. is better than AFYCSO?” Yes, and while it so radically different, Panic! was so good at pulling off the faux-Beatles vibe it had going for it, and it is the album that I find to be Panic!’s most consistent-sounding.)

The mixed reactions of the second album almost led to the group’s breakup. Later on, what they were reduced to (Urie and Smith) came back with new material in 2011, and if anything I could say, Vices & Virtues just exists. Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die! saw the momentum returning and has earned its fair share of fans, but things already went south when Dallon Weekes and Spencer Smith made their departure, forcing the now-sole member of Panic! to go it alone. So then was the start of the era as Panic! being a one-person band, and as well as the beginning of the end. While I am willing to defend Death of a Bachelor by some merits (“Crazy = Genius” is an underrated song btw), this was where I felt the cracks in Urie’s career were beginning to show, with the cheapening of the sound, the increase in overproduction, Urie’s heightened tendency to belt, and of course, the boosting of his ego. While I felt Death of a Bachelor was saved by well-excused ideas, these flaws became an even bigger problem with my experience listening to Pray for the Wicked, one of those rare albums from a band that I like I am completely comfortable in calling a massive letdown. The success of the singles “High Hopes” and “Hey Look Ma, I Made It” made Panic! bigger than it ever was, but it sacrificed so much of what made me love this music act.

Then the album that would end up being the last, Viva Las Vengeance, would come out – a scattershot album with a balanced number of high highs and low lows. It got praised by critics but got clowned on by music fans. Flash forward to now with the recent announcement of Panic! at the Disco’s one and only member calling it done, and like so, Panic! went out with a tragic whimper. In contemplation with the untimely dissolution of Panic!, I should start by saying that it was a good run while it lasted. Perhaps the next album after VLV could’ve been worse, or it could’ve been better as I‘d hope, but of course, all good things must come to an end.

Pushing aside all those negative thoughts I’ve had of Panic!, I’ll start my positives by saying that they were at their prime when they were a band. How predictable of me to say this, I know, but Panic!, as a band, allowed for cohesion and for Brendon to put his ego to rest. Regardless of the questionable songwriting for any particular tracks, Panic! were capable of churning out mindless fun songs in the long run. Even when Brendon Urie was by himself, he still had a good amount of moments to shine. While Urie’s vocals can tend to make or break a song, he still has such an impressive range despite his shortcomings. The production work is also another make or break deal, and while sometimes a song’s over-production can hinder my enjoyment, there are certain songs where the volume of the bombast feels just right.

Panic! at the Disco may definitely have its flaws, and the last two albums made me accept that it was for the best that Urie stopped making music for a while, but these shortcomings haven’t preventing me from keeping a strong nostalgic attachment to them. Even in the sickness of Panic! at the Disco’s demise, I’m just a white blood cell, fighting like hell for them.

Best songs: Time to Dance, Let’s Kill Tonight, This Is Gospel, That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed)
Best album: Pretty. Odd.

Spoiler

140. Imagine Dragons

Let me be frank with all of you – Imagine Dragons is great. I know this is going to be hard for me to talk about since this is technically the most controversial music act I have on my list and everyone is going to say that they’re more fundamentally flawed than Panic!, but I’m the one who makes the rules and the choices here and what I say goes, goes. Full disclosure, I was thinking a lot about how I were to approach telling everyone reading this that I like “the worst band ever,” and that I like them a lot, because of the schism that I expected this unanticipated moment to create and as well as my own internal hypocrisies, which…I’ll explain later…

Imagine Dragons are a popular band that publications box in as a rock band while cynics box in as nothing more than a pop band in retaliation, and yeah, pots calling the kettle black aside, whatever genre these guys are supposed to be does not matter to me at all. I was merely 17 when I discovered this band from flipping through Pandora radio stations and I thought they were this cool new band making their own mark into the alternative rock music scene, and when it came to my attention that they crossed over and most other folks had agreed with me that they seemed to be good, including Todd in the Shadows (at the time, lol), and as well as when I noticed Jjs showering them with praise, I was more inclined to believe that they were moving on to greater things. It was great, rooting for a band that was demonstrating its own interesting style to the current pop landscape…until, of course, it wasn’t….

https://www.alternativenation.net/imagine-dragons-worst-band-ever/

When Imagine Dragons kept scoring more hits, people started complaining about the band being overexposed, with their music being all over advertisements. Years went by and once as the band’s music became more prominently featured in the public eye and their forthcoming albums were given greater disdain from contemporary critics, most folks who had saw them in a decent light turned their backs against them, and the internet collectively decided that they were the new worst band ever, let alone “the new Nickelback,” thus creating the current mindset that the general public has towards the band since the past several years until the internet finds a new “Rock is dead!!!!” scapegoat and accepts it’s no longer cool to hate Imagine Dragons. It didn’t take so long for me to notice that the band’s overexposure was an issue to everyone else. I’ve even seen them being hyped up as “the new Nickelback” not long after they got put on the map, which should go to show that the general public learned absolutely nothing from their previous mindset and how desperate they are for self-validation to encourage this same petty behavior towards the other, newer band once it became apparent that Nickelback fell to irrelevancy. Given Imagine Dragons’ success and pop radio’s severe stranglehold on them over every other potential rock-leaning crossover act though, I can’t deny whatsoever that they were the one and only band that people could latch onto as their personal scapegoat.

After the band’s flaws became more apparent to me, I’ve considered to myself that I was giving Imagine Dragons a little too much credit. The moment that the hate campaigning against them became clearer to me, however, was when I started really caring about Imagine Dragons and saw the bigger picture in their music, and as a result, I had to endure a lot of the things that people were saying about the group and how they were being perceived while the stigma surrounding them continued to grow. Just about every big-name internet music reviewer that I knew all across the board treated Imagine Dragons like they’re a massive joke. A lot of my peers hate them as well and I even got told that the new album they released in 2021 that I initially thought was a decent improvement was unlistenable. People have staked claims that others blindly agreed to that Imagine Dragons’ music is fake deep and have no bigger meaning to them whatsoever, they ONLY make music to be played in commercials, they ONLY care about the amount of units their music sell, they ONLY appeal to “NPCs,” their sound was never really anything special or unique because they felt the band became super formulaic and because of other bands following their example later on, and finally, that they’re even worse than Nickelback – the one band they’re constantly lumped in with. Then there’s the claims people make about the fans, that they don’t care about ‘real’ or ‘good music,’ they’re just as faceless as the band itself, they’re just a bunch of kids whose music tastes haven’t fully developed (and mind you, I’m a 27-year old straight white guy but I was a teenager when I discovered them so I guess I still have some standards to live up to), they’re too thin-skinned to defend their “Imaggie Draggies,” and/or that they don’t even exist.

Having to endure all of that, it really hits me where it hurts. I feel like I’m the only passionate music discussant that likes Imagine Dragons whilst also trying to be put on the same pedestal as the well-spoken Todd, Fantano, Spectrum Pulse, Crash Thompson, and Mic the Snare, to name some (although there is one music reviewer I know that has given them constant praise, Cicabeot1, but because my peers blatantly wrote her off for being perceived as “genre-biased,” she is not relevant to this discussion and therefore I am practically alone here), and for that, I also feel like I’m carrying such a huge burden. After Claps and Wumbo slammed Mercury – Act 1, I just gave up trying to preach Imagine Dragons as a better band than most people let on, that they don’t deserve the title of being “the new Nickelback,” and that bands like AJR were worse and deserved to be dragged down more. Otherwise, it would be very selfish of me to try and change someone’s mind about a band that they honestly think is ‘the worst band ever’ anyway, so I had to learn to just…get used to everyone calling them that.

Of course, it’s not like I don’t understand the hate towards them at all. They’ve made some songs that I legitimately loathed (i.e. “I Bet My Life,” “Dancing in the Dark,” “Believer,” “Giants,” “Only”), and as well as some songs that I could say that I have complex feelings towards (i.e. “Thunder,” “Cutthroat,” “Digital,” “Boomerang,” “Whatever It Takes”). The most popular reason for hating on the band, in which I’ve already mentioned, is because of overexposure, as these non-consenting folks feel like this band is being forced on them everywhere they go, which all sounds fair, but I can’t help but feel apathetic towards this mindset regardless. I’ve been an antisocial shut-in for most of my life that Imagine Dragons has been around. I don’t work in retail, I don’t go to parties or bars, I don’t willingly go to sporting events that Imagine Dragons would perform live at, I don’t go to whatever other public outing plays their music, I don’t even know the last time I’ve encountered their music in a commercial when I’ve been using an adblocker since the past couple years, and even while I listen to the radio, I keep it on the classic hits stations where I instead complain about the same 80s stuff being played on them. Therefore, I am not entitled to feel the same pain that other people have felt from being forced to listen to their music. On the other hand, I don’t know if I feel entitled to be a self-proclaimed fan, because I also wouldn’t say that their music ‘saved my life,’ made me feel proud about my sexual orientation, (they have a dedicated LGBTQ+ fanbase, in which I don’t represent outside of being an ally), helped me during my darkest moments, and/or that I have a deep enough story to convey to describe my feelings towards them since, like I said, my discovery is the plain and simple story of skimming through Pandora’s alternative music station as a late teenager whose taste hasn’t fully developed beforehand.

Look, I know if I continue to push down all this negativity about the group unto myself, I’m just letting the detractors win and I don’t ever want to succumb to that when this is my own list, I’m entitled to say all the good things that I have to say about the particular band, and I know better than to let a bunch of strangers on the internet try and affect my opinions, but here I am anyway presenting myself as though I fear to have my day ruined by someone telling me that I’m ‘not a real music fan’ for liking them, or that I have somehow ruined someone else’s day by simply telling them that I like a band that they hate. This isn’t just a matter of me liking Imagine Dragons, this is a matter of me STILL liking them even while everyone else is lamenting that they fell off. Most people I’ve seen that claimed to be a fan of Imagine Dragons have dropped them after Evolve or Origins, including Jjs himself, who I had mentioned prior, and that begs the big question…WHY? Why am I sticking my neck out for Imagine Dragons, why didn’t I drop them, and why am I being such a fragile snowflake over them when I’ve always been about going against the grain of what other people latch onto?

Here’s the thing, if I’m going to defend this band’s music right now, it would be for pretty much the same reasons that I’ve trashed the likes of Maroon 5, Thirty Seconds to Mars, Post Malone, post-Dreamland Glass Animals, and AJR, (the very latter in which I have been very outspoken of with my hatred towards them), all of which Imagine Dragons have been compared to by some merits. Despite all the grievances that I’ve expressed towards AJR, I have later come to terms with that I am no different from the band’s fanbase, having to deal with people trashing on a band they like on a daily basis and all (For FUCK’S sake, I had to take a gigantic L for liking Tones and I, which most other music fans have jumped the gun to say is even worse than AJR), and accepted that my deep-rooted hatred of their music is all just a matter of me having a really hard time understanding the appeal for them rather than it is a matter of what I’ve constantly perceived of them as being a bunch of untalented egotists…and just like with my big, stupid rant on my feud with AJR, here I am now, going on the same pointless tangents about my feelings of the Imagine Dragons hate.

The only thing that I know I can do to justify my opinion, of course, is to defend Imagine Dragons to hell and back. The fact that AJR’s fans are so willing to defend them even in a hostile music discussion environment should give me every reason to do the same for a band that I feel deserves a fair reappraisal, and I’ve meant to talk about Imagine Dragons at length to ricochet all of the things that the non-fans have been saying about the band itself and as well as their fans, so as to prove to them that I have legitimate reasons to be a fan. I like listening to their music. I don’t feel tortured listening to them. I don’t think they’re a laughingstock. I don’t think they’ve “fallen off.” I don’t think they’re a soulless corporate machine that otherwise don’t care about their own craft. I think they sound unique and interesting. I think most of their songs have a deeper meaning attached to them (and hey, even if some don’t, not every song they make has to be super deep or anything). I think they put a lot of talent and genuine heart into what they make. Is there anything wrong with perceiving them as such? Because I don’t see what the problem is. Did they still sell their music to a myriad of commercials? Yes – and so have a ton of other music acts like them (and besides, there’s been far more annoying music I’ve heard being played in ads). Are they overexposed? Yes – and so are a ton of other popular music artists in the past and present. Did they make some albums that even I would consider to be low points? Yes – and so have a lot of other music acts that I’ve liked that are going to appear later on this list, including some of the ones I’ve already revealed. Do I think they’re the most unique-sounding band and that they’re perfect in almost every way? No, but that doesn’t mean that Imagine Dragons are incompetent in everything that they do. They have their flaws, but no music artist is truly perfect.

What sets Imagine Dragons apart from the music acts that I’ve dragged is the maturity in their songwriting. They have stories to tell and they can sell them very well, and while they’re not the absolute best at it, they touch on subjects like depression, anxiety, separation, and death of a loved one with a greater sense of nuance than those other contemporaries I’ve mentioned. On top of that, I can say that there are a variety of songs that hit hard for me, which include and doesn’t limit to one particular song that deals with a long-lasting relationship falling apart with Dan taking in all the blame for it (“Bad Liar,” which still hits hard, come the most recent news of his second split from his wife), one that focuses on the similar subject but uses a specific metaphor to entail the impending feelings of facing the aftermath of separating from your past partner (“Birds”), one that involves the general perception of mortality that’s conceptualized through the shifting of the seasons (“The Fall”), one that deals with the consequences of fame (“Gold”), one that involves Dan’s spur-of-the-moment decision to pursue music by taking the big risk of dropping out of college and disappointing his parents as a result, while sticking to his own guns (“It’s Time”), one that could pretty much describe the feeling of being in a fragile state of mind (“Smoke and Mirrors”), and even one particular song that draws parallels to my irrational fear of destroying every significant relationship that I’ve had, and my internal dilemma with speaking out as a fan of ID that I’ve just vented about being among those reasons for it (“Shots”).

There’s a specific mood or scene that I pre-attach to nearly each song, along with a corresponding style to set the tone, which brings me to my next point. Imagine Dragons has an impressive genre versatility that few people ever acknowledge. Whether it’s pop, dream pop, electronica, dubstep, new wave, symphonic, folk, funk, hip hop, post-punk, and yes, even rock, the band has checked boxes for these music styles at least once. Then you have the vocals of Dan Reynolds, which can make or break any of their songs if I’m honest. Contrary to what others are going to say, the guy CAN sing. He’s not the best at it, but he has a great deal of passion and showmanship (mind the fact that they’re a Vegas-based band) to elevate each song. Their production style…is also imperfect in most places, as often times their songs will click on me after a while. To each of their own, but I’ll at least argue that anyone who proclaims that every song of theirs sounds directionless, muddled, or irritating solely because that’s how they describe “Believer” and/or “Thunder” and no other song beyond those is being short-sighted.

I could try to say more, but this clearly has gone on long enough. Imagine Dragons may never truly be considered important by anyone other than me, or maybe they will get their flowers at one point or another. While those who’ll continue to hate the band will keep saying that they’ll “never be loved” or they might look at all I’ve said and approach me by saying I can’t name 10 really good tracks from the group, that I’m over-compensating their flaws, or might say something along the lines of “BUT THEY MADE THUNDER!”, I’m just going to keep on loving them all the same. For as long as I’ll continue to stand in camaraderie with the group, I hope for nothing but the absolute best from their career in the coming years, so I REALLY hope they don’t break up before that could ever happen.

Best songs: Smoke and Mirrors, Amsterdam, The Fall, Shots, Dull Knives, Thief, Bad Liar, Wrecked, They Don't Know You Like I Do, I'll Make It Up to You
Best album: Smoke + Mirrors

Spoiler

139. Marianas Trench

After running my mouth about liking a much-despised pop rock band, how about I discuss another pop rock act that is more well-liked…and a little bit obscure? I don’t know if American fans of this group are as rare as the American Tragically Hip fan, but I guess I could be considered a rare breed nonetheless. Anyways, to put it lightly, Marianas Trench (not to be confused with the Mariana Trench) is, in a nutshell, a Canadian Fall Out Boy. Aside from the easy comparison, Marianas Trench has their own ideas, themes, and approaches to pop punk/pop rock to set them apart. With a variety of earworms, stylish production quality, and a competent singing voice to boot, Josh Ramsey’s chops as the main creative force of the group is something to feel impressed by. While I don’t feel such a strong attachment to them as say, fellow Canadian Mark a.k.a. Spectrum Pulse does, there’s no exaggerating how underrated they are in the pop music landscape.

Best songs: Astoria, Fallout, Celebrity Status, Acadia
Best album: Astoria

Spoiler

138. Heart

Heart is the first band that calls to my mind whenever I trace myself back to a particular act that set the stage for women in rock music for years to come, let alone female-fronted rock bands. On top of that, Heart also happens to be one of the first few rock groups I’ve gotten into from when I tried to begin expanding my palette, so they hold a special place for me. The Wilson sisters play off each other so nicely with their vocal harmonies whilst having the right amount of passion to deliver their songs. Even their slow burners and power ballads work so well in their favor most of the time. Though I can’t say that I’m crazy about them, Heart remains as a big standard for classic rock.

Best songs: Straight On, Who Will You Run To, Dream of the Archer, Stranded
Best album: Little Queen

Spoiler

137. The National

The National is a post-punk revival band that takes a darker turn towards their style, alternating between the likes of Joy Division and Leonard Cohen, which already sets itself up for the best of both worlds. Despite the comparisons that could be made, The National have fostered an identity of their own with their music, with most of their songs being made of up gloomy slow burners that the band makes compelling with their lush production work and frontman Matt Berninger’s deep, brooding vocals. I thought I’d like this particular group more when they made one of my absolute favorite albums of 2013, but there’s quite a lot I’ve put above them. Still a great band, though.

Best songs: Sea of Love, Demons, Bloodbuzz Ohio, Apartment Story
Best album: Trouble Will Find Me

Spoiler

136. Brand New

Now this is a music act that’s going to be difficult for me to talk about, let alone not being able to discuss them without addressing the big elephant in the room that is Jesse Lacey and his sexual misconduct allegations. I know what you’re all thinking, yes, I know the whole “separate the art from the artist” wisdom (and this definitely won’t be the last time I will discuss this matter) that I’ve been sticking to for a long time, but still, the emotional scar tissue that I’ve dealt from this revelation has made it harder for me to keep this band on a higher pedestal. Okay, enough with the negatives surrounding the band’s whole behind-the-scenes turmoil. Brand New are one of the most decade-defining punk/emo/post-hardcore/whatever you may categorize them bands, with two very exceptional albums under their belt with an otherwise broad selection of introspective, emotional, and powerful songs. Regardless of Jesse Lacey’s troubles, that doesn’t change my feelings on the band being special.

Best songs: The Archers’ Bows Have Broken, Jesus Christ, Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don’t, The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot
Best album: The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me

Spoiler

135. Flying Lotus

As far as I’ve gotten into the experimental and more instrumental side of hip hop, Flying Lotus has been one of my favorites. Blending jazz with the wonky, atmospheric sounds of ‘intelligent dance music’ (seriously though, screw that genre name) and snappy hip hop drum beats, a lot of Flying Lotus’ tracks feel like an absolute trip to immerse into. In addition, his instrumentation work has that out-of-this-world feel to it, blurring the line between futuristic and spiritual and as well as between chaotic. In other words, the work of Flying Lotus is worth plenty of words.

Best songs: Do the Astral Plane, Turkey Dog Coma, Dead Man’s Tetris, German Haircut
Best album: You’re Dead!

Spoiler

134. Foo Fighters

Foo Fighters is one of those bands I feel like I should love more than I do, and I think the main reason for that is that their music doesn’t leave a whole lot for me to say other than that they’re very competent and consistent with their craft, and they put out a lot of great tunes most of the way, which is not a bad thing at all for the fighters of foo. Every once in a while though, they will impress me and give me every reason to believe that are more than just a typical alt-rock band. While they tend to be overshadow by a bunch of other bands for me, Foo Fighters is still very solid for what they are.

R.I.P. Taylor Hawkins

Best songs: Everlong, Learn to Fly, February Stars, DOA
Best album: The Colour and the Shape

Spoiler

133. R.E.M.

Most of what I’ve said about Foo Fighters could also be said regarding my feelings towards R.E.M., in which I could see why they’ve made such an impact, but their music doesn’t leave so much of a big lasting impression. However, R.E.M. are also one of the most significant bands to lead a new sound for rock music. They were really good when they got big, while their earlier material is nothing to sneeze at either. Really great early jangle pop rock, don’t know what else I need to add here.

Best songs: The Flowers of Guatemala, Losing My Religion, The One I Love, Man on the Moon
Best album: Lifes Rich Pageant

Spoiler

132. Halsey

When I was introduced to Halsey, she made a really bad first impression with the song “New Americana,” so if I told my past self that I would grow to like her a lot more, past me wouldn’t believe it’s so, but it is so. Once Halsey gave herself time to be established as a more competent and unique presence in modern pop, I was less inclined to view her as a poor woman’s Lorde or Lana and found myself feeling like she now deserved the right to call herself an alternative music artist like she preferred. A major contributing factor towards me showing my respect towards Halsey is how each of her albums was different in sound, styles, and themes than the last, including her most recent project in which its production was helmed by Nine Inch Nails that managed to work so well in her favor. I never found any of these albums to be anywhere near as bad despite the artist’s flaws, and seeing how she’s still been doing so well these days, I trust Halsey to continue putting out quality pop music in the future.

Best songs: Colors, You should be sad, Easier than Lying, Strangers
Best album: If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power

Spoiler

131. Billie Eilish

Billie Eilish may currently have two mere albums in her career to date, but it’s amazing to see how much she’s accomplished, even at her young age. Once again, because of the familiarity with Lorde and Lana Del Rey, I wasn’t a big fan of her music right away, but once I had gotten used to her, I became accustomed to her minimalist approach to pop music and as well for more than just the delicate side of her music that I was initially fond of. She’s a very capable songwriter as well and has quite a good few songs that hit me hard despite me being much older than Eilish herself. While she is still too new for my top 100, she is yet another artist that I can’t go without mentioning.

Best songs: everything i wanted, xanny, Happier Than Ever, ocean eyes
Best album: Happier Than Ever

Spoiler

130. Sam Fender

While I’m still on the topic of up-and-coming music acts with only two albums in their name to date that have grown to become one of my fast favorites, here’s another one, a lad from the UK going by the name of Sam Fender. Considered by some to be a British Bruce Springsteen, given that Fender’s songwriting chops draw parallels to The Boss himself, but to say that Fender takes too much influence from Springsteen is really short-sighted since they’re both not all that alike sound-wise. For starters, Fender’s vocal style is more willowy while Springsteen’s vocals are rougher around the edges, and Fender’s lyrics focus on modern life in Britain while Springsteen’s focus on his experiences living in America. Even if the easy comparisons are still there, I can at least say that Sam Fender is essentially the Springsteen of my generation, even regardless of the regional divide. Fender holds no punches when it comes to the subjects he covers, whether it’s politics or real-life matters. His production style has a strong nostalgic touch to it, but it’s also fresh enough to for me to distinguish it towards him. Most of all, I found myself being able to resonate so much with Fender’s music, which is a major reason why he’s gotten this far up on my list.

Best songs: The Borders, Spit of You, Get You Down, Seventeen Going Under
Best album: Seventeen Going Under

Spoiler

129. Lana Del Rey

She’s not a perfect vocalist, her albums aren’t perfect and sometimes struggle from inconsistent rollouts that otherwise result in delays, and she said some unpleasant things in recent times, but there’s no denying that Lana Del Rey changed the landscape of pop music in such a dramatic fashion when she’s the name that most people often trace back to when analyzing any 2010s female alternative pop artist of the ‘sadcore’ variety. Not that I think that this is best way to describe Lana’s music, but still, she had a minimalistic approach to pop that was, at the time, unique to her, so much so that others tried to follow her example to mixed results. Sometimes Lana’s gimmick doesn’t work all too well. Often times, however, it does, and Lana is able to show that she’s capable of writing a masterpiece track or two. As I should say, Lana’s music is an acquired taste, but trying to see the appeal in her has made me appreciate her craft quite a lot.

Best songs: Young & Beautiful, The Greatest, Video Games, Mariners Apartment Complex
Best album: Norman Fucking Rockwell!

Spoiler

128. Patti Smith

I haven’t gotten to the ‘painful cuts’ part of my list yet and I already feel like Patti Smith is one. She has earned her rightful place as a historically significant figure in music as the proclaimed Godmother of Punk, and what an occult personality she is as one of punk’s leading artists. On top of being a punk rocker with stellar vocals, Patti Smith is also a poet, a side of her that overlaps well with the emotional depth in her music. Whether it’s expressing her more sensibility or showing off her chops as a vocalist, almost each song from Patti Smith has a certain payoff that’s worth staying for until the end.

Best songs: Land, Break It Up, Because the Night, Fireflies
Best album: Horses

Spoiler

127. Franz Ferdinand

Franz Ferdinand is a consistently great band that otherwise peaked too early. Their self-titled debut was filed with instant bops while most of their material afterwards took a few re-listens to really click with me. Regardless, they haven’t lost their touch as their nostalgic garage rock-driven sound blended with modern dance-rock rhythms coupled with Kapranos’s silky-smooth vocals still makes Franz Ferdinand a worthy band to dance to, so anytime they release a new album, it feels like an event to me.

Best songs: Auf Achse, 40’, Evil Eye, The Fallen
Best album: Self-titled

Spoiler

126. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

One of my earliest memories of being an SBC member was checking in on the SpongeBob Committee XAT and being greeted with the opening riff of “American Girl,” and having to pause the song every time it came on. Although, I’ve been made familiar with Tom Petty’s music earlier before, this is also one of my earliest known memories of him and his Heartbreakers. There’s two main sides of Tom Petty’s music, the hard-jamming tunes, and the more laid-back tones, both in which I’ve come to appreciate his music for. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers also have a great ear for melody, and because of that, there’s a lot of songs that have stuck with me in my memory. Petty’s loss was truly significant, and he’s still missed every day.

Best songs: Won't Back Down, Breakdown, Refugee, Into the Great Wide Open
Best album: Damn the Torpedoes

 

[The SBC Community Mixtape #7]

This is already a fun concept. Here's mine:

 

[Tiki Land]

EPILOGUE: 10.5 Epilogue: 'O kekahi Mo'olelo (Another Story)

 

One of the last things that Koamalu remembered before turning up elsewhere was waking up beside his companion SpongeBob after he had transferred the remaining supply of energy invested in him to defeat the Lava King…and to allow him to enter his dreamscape in a bid to acquire help for the deep wounds he received from the same adversary the two had faced. Beforehand, he had to face off against another powerful entity who once knew as his guardian now as a turncoat, Enakai. He ended the battle by destroying his pocket dimension and has not seen him again afterwards. Then there was Moe’uhane, his guidance from within the dreamscape that he now recognized as his mother that he had never met. He had a job to finish in spite of his persisting pain, and he knew that the one way to finish it was to return to the dreamscape alongside Moe’uhane.

“Whatever it is that you intend to do to save the universe, we might not see each other again, and especially given how bad your respiratory system had been damaged.” Moe’uhane informed Koamalu.

“Enakai…and the Lava King’s dimensions…are both devoid of life now,” said Koamalu, “…so, tearing them apart must be the way…to make that vortex in the sky disappear…or at least make it stable.”

“That is true, but I’m afraid you’ll also have to sacrifice yourself to the wormhole,” Moe’uhane continued. “I can’t ensure that you’ll survive being sent through it. One thing’s for sure, however, is you’re more than likely to die if you let your physical form stay underwater.”

“I’m going to do it,” Koamalu finished as he examined where his inner surroundings stood on the in-between of life and death, “for SpongeBob, for his friends, for their home…and for you.”

With as much concentration as possible, Koamalu began to release an imposing amount of energy in his comatose state, retelling the events that led to the restoration of Bikini Bottom.

…

…

Sometime after Koamalu entered the wormhole, he appeared in a black void with nothing surrounding him besides a particular entity. This time, he was in a state of sleep that otherwise wasn’t in the state of being inside a dreamscape, despite that the markings on his body were present. When Koamalu woke up, he gave himself his time to stretch, look around and then see the person standing in front of him, who in which spoke after catching his attention.

“Oh, hello, who are you?” Koamalu asked in a half-awake tone.

“Koamalu, I’m Gaia, and I have something important for you to do,” the young girl in the cloak said. “Before I go over the details though, I need you to answer me this: do you know why you’ve been brought here?”

“I think it had something to do with going inside a wormhole,” Koamalu replied. “I guess my memory is feeling fuzzy since I was in a lot of pain, but now I’m starting to feel better. Hey, wait a minute…how come I don’t know you, but you know who I am?”

“I’m a being who observes all parallel dimensions of the multiverse and maintain order for each one,” Gaia explained. “Now, the multiverse has been seeing a great disturbance occur that is signifying the end of all life.”

“Huh, that sounds almost like something that Enakai told me…” Koamalu remarked. “So does that mean the vision he saw…came true?”

“I guess so. After all, that was same the unagi creature that disrupted the forces of time and space to put you in danger as a way to try and see his foretelling being realized. Since he’s gone from the multiverse’s registry, however, I’m afraid to inform that the burden is being carried by you. I would say that you’ve been banished, but your last place of internal registry is from one of the dimensions that you’ve just destroyed, which brings me to the main reason why I’ve brought you here. You’ve used your powers to reach the limits of what is allowed by the forces of time and space by tearing the dimensions of Enakai and the Lava King at the seams, so it is now my job to suppress those powers that you possess.”

“SpongeBob’s world was about to be destroyed, all his folks got turned into rock statues by the Lava King, and I got myself half-killed to restore everything back to what it was before those two interfered! What else could I have done?”

“You were in a life-or-death situation, so I suppose you have a point. I figured that you would use your dream weaver powers to completely close up the rifts and diminish the wormhole in the process, but you chose to take a different approach.”

“The spirit of my mom has been guiding me and she suggested that I go inside the wormhole.”

“And that’s how you came here. Now that you understand your current circumstances, I have a deal to offer you. You tell me your greatest desire, and then you give me something in exchange so that I can allow you to fulfill whatever it is you wish, and if you accomplish your personal goal, your internal contract with me will be cut.”

“To be honest, I don’t know what I really want. Thinking about it, I guess I would like to return to SpongeBob’s world, but after Enakai exposed the truth about my past, I would also like to find some sense of belonging since I never had a universe that I could call my true home.”

“So it’s settled then – you want to find someplace where you belong. All you have to do now is to allow me to have your Totem God markings relinquished.”

“You want my markings?”

“I have plentiful magical properties, so I can easily detach them from your own flesh. I wouldn’t say that I “want” your Totem God powers, it’s rather that I need you to give them up if you’re going to agree to the deal.”

After Koamalu realized what giving up the markings embedded in his body would mean, he started to hold himself back from Gaia and then said, “Wait, no! I’m not going to let you take my mommy away from me!”

“I’m not going to take away your mother, Koamalu, what’s going to happen is that your connection to her will be cut off.”

“But I just regained my connection to her…”

“I shouldn’t be putting on safety gloves for your sake, but I’ll at least give you this as a compromise,” Gaia continued as she then threw a staff towards Koamalu to catch.

“What’s this?” The sea dragon asked.

“This staff is possessed with dream weaving powers much like what you carry, but you are going to figure out on your own how it functions and how to enter a dreamscape with it. If you don’t accept the deal I’m offering, then I’m just not going to let you work towards your set goal.”

Koamalu, realizing that he has no other choice, let Gaia use her magic to remove the Totem God markings on his skin. The markings glowed and made the sea dragon quiver as a result of the process. Within seconds, Koamalu no longer felt any mystical energy radiating from him.

“I can assure you that your powers will be returned if you’re to accomplish your task,” said Gaia. “Now, you should be directed to a trolley that will take you to a certain place in the multiverse where the start of your conquest will take place after I make one more appointment. Others have been banished besides you, so you won’t be alone…yet. Since you’re physically the youngest, I should give you a fair warning to be careful and watch your own back. You’ll never know until you know how dangerous the multiverse can be. Having those Totem God powers on your person could’ve posed a greater risk, hence why I had to extract them. Go on now, and next thing you’ll know, you’ll find yourself in a new place.”

“I understand…” said Koamalu before he hopped inside the trolley to see a bunch that he wasn’t expecting – a male human in karate uniform, another human male with his dirty blonde hair covering his eyes, a female human with amber eyes and brunette hair, an equine with a turquoise-colored body along with a pink mane and tail, and a sea sponge with a stuffed polar bear backpack and his eyes looming at the ground. Koamalu found a spot to settle in, with his bestowed staff in place, and already crashed into slumber before the other banished individuals could try to talk with him. While Koamalu slept, an individual resembling an alien with Pisces symbols embedded in his clothing had now appeared in front of Gaia.
------------------------------------------------------------------
NOTES/TRIVIA:

Characters from other spin-offs making an appearance in this epilogue:

Spoiler

-Gaia (Oracle of the Cosmos)
-Ga?z?nsy (Oracle of the Cosmos)
-C?er?lea (Oracle of the Cosmos)
-Lotus Petals (Oracle of the Cosmos)
-Levi (Sub-Tropical Academy)
-Strezz (Red Flag Savior: Rebirth of a Storm)
-Titan (Pisces Moon)

[Velma]

New HBO Max animated series based on the Scooby-Doo franchise, which, of course, has been making the rounds for social media backlash. For any other folks here that are "420," feel free to discuss.

[Red Flag Savior: Rebirth of a Storm]

EPILOGUE: 7.5. Epilogue

The last thing Strezz remembered before finding himself inside an unfamiliar void was his encounter with 'the original Strezz Stormond,' as he so claimed. He doesn't know where he is anymore, since coming back home was all that he could ever think about besides the guilt he felt from the aftermath of defeating Naja.

Before experiencing another bout of whiplash from crossing another dimension, Strezz saw visual memories of his past being replayed that corresponded his early signs of his autism, including to when he began responding to 'Strezz' instead of 'Evan' or 'Evangelos.' The little things that were being displayed to him made him feel sad inside before he regained complete consciousness in another world.

Settled in that same void was the presence of someone in a cloak that otherwise had the appearance of a young girl. He already had been told by her that her name is Gaia and that she had some important information to share, but he didn't seem to care what that all may be.

"What's all this?" Strezz asked. "I don't understand."

"Hello, are you Strezz Stormond?" Gaia spoke in a slow and irritably infantilizing tone. "My name is Gaia. Do you know why you're here?"

"Why are you talking to me like that?" Strezz asked once more. "Just tell me what's going on."

"I thought for sure you'd explain that to me yourself, Strezz," Gaia responded, "or is it Evangelos?"

Strezz couldn't bring himself to be angry about the way Gaia said his original name, for he knew he caused himself turmoil over it. He glared at the mysterious girl and then said "My name is Strezz. It's been like that for a while and it will always be."

"So, Strezz, you're clearly wondering why you're here." Gaia continued, "and whatever excuse you may have for your actions, you should know that you can't excuse it on your autism. Consider yourself lucky that I was able to intervene when you confronted another, older version of you before things became brutal."

"Oh yeah, what was that all about? Why was there another one of me and what did he want with me?"

"I'm afraid it's too complicated to explain all of that in detail. The other Strezz experience the typical cycle of where the forces of time and space decide when it's done functioning all proceedings of his universe, and he of course, didn't take it very well. Now let's get back on-topic. Why do you think you're here, Strezz?"

"Why should I tell you? You seem to know a lot about me already anyways, and I don't know you exactly are."

"Let's just say that I'm an entity that observes of each and every parallel dimension in the multiple universes, or the multiverse as everyone calls it. My job here is to maintain order for each of those worlds. I've observed the actions of your own universe as well, and I've brought you here once a great disturbance all around the multiverse would take place, and it's an occurrence that could bring about the end of it all. Are you following me on this, Strezz?"

"Um...I'm sorry. I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"That's fine, the important thing that I have to talk to you about doesn't have much to do with the whole hijacking. Before I explain to you why I've brought you into the nexus of the multiverse, I'd like for you to tell me what you think brought you to me."

"Well...what you said about how I can't use my autism as an excuse for my actions, you have a point. I was having a lot of trouble processing what this whole journey of mine has been leading up to, with me being stranded on an island for a month, being lent a jacket containing Z-Storm, having to face a bunch of powerful enemies, including this one person who's been out to get me since day one, only for him to turn out to be an android that was being controlled by some immortal spirit that was more powerful, and I've risked death several times all just for that. I don't know what my purpose in life is and why this all has been happening to me. I've wanted to disappear, but now all I want to do right now is just go back home."

Looks like you're wracked with guilt, but that does explain a lot for me. Although, what you should really know is that you're here because you've banished from your own universe."

Strezz expressed shock in his face before then asking, "What...and how?"

"You broke Z-Storm's natural code that you wouldn't use its powers to harm others that don't mean harm to you, or at least you almost did until a person by the name of Zowe made you muster up the courage to speak. As you should know, one of the previous owners of the jacket you wear, Sophocles, did also get banished, and although it was by request, he has also expressed a good amount of guilt much like you have. Now do you understand why you've been sent here?"

"I guess so..."

"Now, let's make a deal. You want to return back to your own universe, and the price you'll have to pay to accomplish that is to learn a few things about responsibility. Before you accept that, you'll have to give away something in exchange."

"Okay, like what?"

"The one thing you must give up is what you are wearing right now."

Strezz was quick to realize that Gaia meant the Z-Storm jacket and so he responded with hesitation.

"You want me to give up Z-Storm!? How am I going to be able to protect myself without this jacket? Could I exchange to you Arcty instead?" Strezz referred to his stuffed polar bear backpack that he also had in his person in the latter question.

"Z-Storm is a part of the reason why you've been banished. You were on the cusp of abusing its power and you were lured by your doppelganger for carrying those same powers. You're going to be transferred to unknown territory, and I could assure you that it could poser greater risks and danger on your end if you choose to keep holding on Z-Storm and its powers. I can't take your bear since there's no burden attached to it, and I presume it's more important to you than the jacket than you may notice. Well, Strezz, either you give up Z-Storm, or you give up your chance of being able to return your home world."

Without saying a word, Strezz acquiesced, pulled his arms out of the jacket, and then lent the article of clothing to Gaia.

"Good choice. I'll guarantee this won't end up in the wrong hands, or fins. All you have to do now is step on the inter-dimensional trolley that will take you to its destination."

Strezz looked around the void to see said method of transport right in front of him.

"Wait, what do you mean by a great disturbance?" Strezz questioned before stepping in.

"For now, that is only my concern and not yours." Gaia clarified. "We may meet again sooner or later. I've got a couple more appointments, I before you send you and the others off."

Strezz would know what she meant by others when he stepped inside the trolley to see three humans (one was a female-brunette with amber eyes, one was a dirty blonde male with hair covering his eyes, and one was a black-haired male in a karate uniform) and a turquoise and pink-colored equine in their respective seats. Strezz didn't give direct eye contact to others nor spoke to them and questioned why they're in the same trolley as him before he seated himself.

"Not even some small talk, huh?" the rude boy next to the girl uttered.

"Perhaps he just doesn't like talking," the brightly-colored equine presumed.

"How much longer are we going to stay here?" The dark-haired male questioned.

"Yeah, how many of us have happened to be banished?" The other boy rejoindered.

"We'll just have to wait," the girl spoke before the conversation died down.

Strezz left himself alone to ponder how much his folks back in his world must miss him, which made the guilty feeling of his grow slightly more. He also wondered what Gaia had planned for him until he witnessed another individual manifesting in the void in front of the proclaimed observer of dimensions, who appeared to be a sleeping sea dragon with peculiar markings on his skin.

Somewhere in another world, Kinuyo could be seen in a desolate area in front of a group of yokai, looking as though to be sowing the seeds of her new plans, whilst also sewing new threads on her kimono.

"Just you wait, sister, I'll be back for you," Kinuyo said to herself, "and I'm going to make it all worthwhile."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
NOTES/TRIVIA:

Characters from other spin-offs making an appearance in this epilogue:

Spoiler

-Gaia (Oracle of the Cosmos)
-Ga?z?n?y (Oracle of the Cosmos)
-C?er?lea (Oracle of the Cosmos)
-Lotus Petals (Oracle of the Cosmos)
-Levi (Sub-Tropical Academy)
-Koamalu (Tiki Land)

 

[Genshin Impact]

obligatory still a better game than hello neighbor post

[Tiki Land]

10. Pau 'ana (End)

 

Just like Enakai, the Lava King was no more. However, the unstable wormhole in the sky remained, as did the dimensional rifts made by the two entities, and of course, all of the inhabitants were still made out of stone. SpongeBob found himself alone in the desolate atmosphere of Tiki Land. In the aftermath of the brutal fight against the Lava King, SpongeBob rushed over to Koamalu’s side. Curiously, his markings returned, but SpongeBob couldn’t feel a sign of him regaining consciousness, repeating his name out of a desperate plea for him to return all the while.

 

Neptune and Amphitrite could return by now, SpongeBob thought, and perhaps they could fix all of the mess that the two instigators have left behind, but there was no one around to answer him. SpongeBob transported himself and Koamalu back to the main island through the powers he had been trusted to use. He left himself to ponder and idle around the area populated by statues of his local folks and the tikis in a state of hopelessness. Together, he and Koamalu defeated their biggest threat, but at what cost? Most of all, what can he really do now that he’s finished the job?

 

All SpongeBob could do for the time being was wait and look after Koamalu’s motionless body in hopes that he will regain consciousness, someway, somehow.

 

“It seems as though that Koamalu didn’t pull through in the end,” a voice from one of the Tikis spoke.

 

“I’m too sad now,” SpongeBob whimpered. “I know there’s something I have to do at this point, but…I just don’t know. Is this how the world will end, with me being the last person standing?”

 

“You’ve been shared Koamalu’s Totem God powers,” the same voice continued. “Even if you’re only bestowed with them, you still share a connection to him.”

SpongeBob’s tears dried as he formed a conversation with the enchanted tikis. He then asked, “Huh, what are you suggesting?”

 

“We are Totem Gods of times passed,” another voice from one of the tikis uttered, “and we are all considered as dream weavers. As long as Koamalu hasn’t lost all consciousness, our magic and connection to him still function in this universe.”

 

“Koamalu won’t wake up no matter how much I try to plead for him to.”

“You should keep trying,” one of the tiki voices suggested. “Focus on Koamalu and then focus on where he could be if his consciousness is removed from the physical world. He left everything to you after he suffered a mortal wound from the Lava King, and so he may be entrusting you to be the one who saves him, and as well as the world.”

 

SpongeBob returned to Koamalu’s side after taking the advice of the tiki spirits. Looking at the serious wound on Koamalu‘s back, SpongeBob realized the one thing in his body that was giving off a pulse, which were the oddly-shaped appendages. Putting all of his focus on Koamalu, he put a hand on the markings contained in one of the sea dragon’s claws. In an instant, SpongeBob felt a jolt and found himself inside his dreamscape. SpongeBob saw himself in front of Koamalu, whose body continued to lay motionless even in the non-physical world. In front of him was also Moe’uhane, who SpongeBob had just been introduced to.

 

“Oh hello, are you related to Koamalu in some way?” SpongeBob asked the sea dragon spirit.

 

“I am his mother, or at least I could’ve been if Enakai hadn’t offed me,” said Moe’uhane.

 

“I’m SpongeBob, so what’s going on with Koamalu and how can I help?” SpongeBob asked again.

“I may not have much time to explain, but your friend, and as well as my own son, might die soon,” Moe’uhane explained. “Koamalu was born as both a land and sea dragon. As you can see by the scales on his back, he’s able to live underwater when they are pressed down while he’s able to live on land when they are pointed up. Those protrusions are linked to his respiratory system, which had been disrupted by his own powers and later damaged by the adversary that he had just helped you vanquish.”

 

“So he did help me defeat him…but how could he when he wasn’t conscious?”

 

“He is a Totem God of dreams, and those powers of his are unlocked to a greater capacity while in a state of dreaming.”

 

“That’s why he’s gotten so drowsy all the time after a while.”

 

“You could say that. It was after he was taken outside of Enakai’s dimension that I was able to reconnect with him after the embargo he had created. As long as there’s still a part of Koamalu that’s alive, and as long as you still inherit those same Totem God powers in the charm you bear, there’s still time to save Koamalu and stop the universe from being consumed by the wormhole.”

 

“So, how can I help him?”

 

“You and Koamalu must destroy the two dimensions that your own world had been merged with, as the one thing that survives in each one is Koamalu’s connection to them, and to accomplish that, you must awaken his powers to the fullest capacity possible in his being.”

 

“Can I use these powers to heal his terrible wound?”

 

“Just do whatever you can to help, time is running out, SpongeBob. I’m unsure if we’ll all be able to see each other again, but do be sure to tell him, if he lives, how proud I’ve felt to see him become much like his father, who he had also never been able to know.”

 

SpongeBob turned back from Moe’uhane to focus his attention towards the deep scar on Koamalu’s backside. He attempted to his powers to peel back the wound. Koamalu grunted in pain while SpongeBob, with enough force, was able to pull back out the red-tinted abrasion until he saw what appeared to be a manifestation of the Lava King underneath, let alone a more twisted version of him. At the same time SpongeBob continued to pull on the personification of Koamalu’s wound, SpongeBob emitted a stream of cold water to condense it to nothing. After SpongeBob succeeded in diminishing it, SpongeBob had flung himself backwards while the patterns on Koamalu’s body glowed once more. He let out a gasp that sent both of them out of the dreamscape in an instant.

 

After SpongeBob found himself being zapped back outside, he turned his head to look at Koamalu, who appeared to still be in pain as he struggled to open his eyes. Half-awake now, he turned around to see his companion.

 

“SpongeBob…?” Koamalu muttered.

 

“Koamalu!” SpongeBob exclaimed as he held a tight tug on his body. “It’s okay, buddy, it’s okay, you shouldn’t be hurting anymore.”

 

“No, I’m still in pain…” Koamalu responded. “I feel like I’m drowning…”

 

“What are you talking about?” SpongeBob asked. “We still have a world to save!”

 

“I know. It’s just that I need to go back…”

 

The patterns on Koamalu’s body emitted another surge of light. In the afterglow, Koamalu’s eyes had returned closed.

 

“No, wait, take me with you, I’ve been told that I need you awaken your powers, whatever that means…” SpongeBob said with desperation in his tone.

 

Instantaneously, SpongeBob reattempted to bring himself to the dreamscape, but nothing seemed to be working.

 

“No, you can’t die on us, right now!” SpongeBob cried. “I’ve already gotten you out of death once, you have to stay alive!”

 

Mere minutes after hearing no further response nor seeing a sign from the Totem God embellished markings or from the protrusions on his back, SpongeBob was given the impression that his companion was now truly gone and that he failed to fulfill his crucial task. SpongeBob was now reduced to tears whilst he continued to embrace Koamalu’s motionless body.

 

SpongeBob looked up to the hole in the sky and back at Koamalu and all of the citizens of Bikini Bottom in their presumably permanent state of being stone effigies. He then spoke in a despaired tone, “Well, I guess this is the end. Goodbye Koamalu, goodbye Patrick…Squidward…Sandy…Mr. Krabs…Larry, and everyone else. Goodbye world…”

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

Koamalu’s body began to move, without caution from the sea sponge. SpongeBob saw as Koamalu’s Totem God markings and eyes glowed white, and that he had released himself from the hug. SpongeBob couldn’t believe what he was now seeing, but that was when he then remembered his conversation with the spirit of his mother, Moe’uhane, who had explained to him about his powers being symbolized by dreams. SpongeBob came to the conclusion that Koamalu returned to the dreamscape to awaken his powers, although he still wasn’t sure how it was happening.

 

Koamalu, while he was in the state of dreaming, moved his physical body towards the idle tikis. After feeling them with one of his claws, he shuffled his right foot in the sand and emitted a powerful vibration that altered the look of the ground beneath,him, and as well as reverting each and every Bikini Bottom citizen to their original selves by crumbling the statues. Koamalu, in his dream-powered state, turned his head to focus on one of the dimensional rifts and, with a wave of one claw, conjured a gale force whirlpool that was strong enough to tear up Enakai’s dimension until it was all swallowed away. With a wave of the other claw, Koamalu used the same method to demolish the Lava King’s dimension.

 

While the wormhole above remained, it was showing signs of stabilization. Koamalu’s work didn’t end there as he then waved both of his claws to revert the rest of the scenery slowly back to the original look of Bikini Bottom, from the flora, to the climate, to the buildings, and so on, all while removing every shred of what resembled Tiki Land except the tikis. As a grand finish, Koamalu levitated towards the sky, bringing himself closer to the very wormhole. To the surprise of SpongeBob and the restored Bikini Bottomites taking a look at the restoration process unfolding, Koamalu ascended inside the wormhole, which subsequently closed up along with him. The darkness in the sky would then clear up and revert to its original state, which would signal the end of the apocalypse that could’ve been.

 

SpongeBob saw no sign of Koamalu returning even half an hour after all of Bikini Bottom had been restored. SpongeBob stared up at the sky for the allocated time until his folks came to embrace and celebrate him for saving their world, and to express their apologies to him.

 

“Way to go, pal!” Larry cheered.

 

“SpongeBob, I’m so sorry for the way I’ve treated you and your friend!” Patrick exclaimed. “We’re still friends, right?”

 

“Of course, but…” SpongeBob muttered.

 

“And I’m sorry that I got a little too ahead of myself in trying to stop the dang apocalypse,” Sandy chimed in. “You’re a hero now for getting rid of that wormhole and that Lava King, and you deserve it!”

 

“I’m sorry for the way I’ve been treating ye too,” said Mr. Krabs. “All that I’ve done for that no-good Lava King, I’ve done it to protect meself.”

 

“Well, even though I don’t care to know what happened while I’ve been gone, I’m just glad this whole chaos is over,” Squidward deadpanned.

 

“Is anything wrong, SpongeBob?” Sandy asked, being the first to notice that SpongeBob wasn’t feeling too happy.

 

“We all have Koamalu to thank for restoring peace to our world,”

 

“Oh yeah, where is that little rascal, anyway?” Mr. Krabs questioned.

 

“He’s just…gone,” SpongeBob spoke in a solemn tone. “He went up inside that wormhole and he’s just gone. He hasn’t come back either.”

 

“That’s a shame, but perhaps you’ll begin to feel better after returning to work at the Krusty Krab,” Mr. Krabs replied.

 

“No I won’t, not without Koamalu to thank for all this! Surely he has to come back.”

 

“Sorry, we shouldn’t been more thoughtful,” said Sandy. “Don’t worry little sponge dude, okay? Maybe he will return to us and then we’ll celebrate what he’s done for us.”

 

After giving the time to talk with the folks that he had just saved, SpongeBob began to feel better, although the lingering thought about Koamalu’s disappearance remained inside him, even after he and the rest of Bikini Bottom have all gone back to their normal lives. When word came to the royals that SpongeBob and his missing friend have saved the world, Neptune had SpongeBob give back the powers lent to him. Afterwards, he was granted an invitation for a feast at their palace. He respectfully declined the offer before adding that they’ll celebrate together for when Koamalu returns.

 

Upon restoring Bikini Bottom, SpongeBob saw as the lives of his folks change in a way that made it feel like a blur to him, but with Mr. Krabs showing more respect towards him and Squidward, Sandy being more willing to spend time with him and Larry outside of her typical research and studies, and as well as Patrick showing some more understanding towards him, he couldn’t complain. Regardless, SpongeBob couldn’t stop to wonder where Koamalu had gone and why the tikis that manifested in the merged dimensions have remained in Bikini Bottom despite the sea dragon’s absence.

 

That, of course, was the topic of another story, as Koamalu is later shown floating in a black void, with the protrusions on his back now pointing up.

 

I want this drowning feeling to stop. Koamalu thought to himself. I need air…

 

“Hello, Koamalu, I’m Gaia and-“the unfamiliar figure that stood in front of him stopped before she saw as the sea dragon was in a state of sleep. “Oh, I guess I’ll just have to wait until he’s refreshed…”

 

Back in Bikini Bottom, the tikis outside were later shown to give off the same exact white glow as the markings in Koamalu’s body before it faded.

 

 

THE STORY CONTINUES…