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6. And Now… A Romance Plot That No One Asked For (Guru Gakuto; Episodes 9 & 10) …You’ve already read the title. If you thought this spin-off wasn’t going to get any worse at this point, let this be a sign that things are only going to keep going downhill from here. It’s been awhile hasn’t it? Going over the usual formalities, I’m Chemist Bob, this is my Catastrophic Creations Cinema, and we’re picking up where we left off with Guru Gakuto. Especially since it is the year 2022 now, which is the year that this spin-off is set in, I have more of an incentive to continue my riffs. 9. Daters Gonna Date Guru Gakuto – an action-adventure series about a group of young travelers, based on the seven deadly sins, in search of Gakuto while fighting against the evil forces of DoodleBob and Horacio, built around the theme of war and the repercussions of war – now a romance drama. You can still tell that this episode was being written in 2011 when the title references a long gone internet meme. Does this mean that we’ll be seeing arrow to the knee jokes later on? It starts with the continuation of the whirlpool scenario. “No, what do we do?!” Sierra said in fear. “One choice would be stay here. One choice would be get out of here!” Mason exclaimed. So the only options are to die or not to die. That’s some skilled deductive reasoning, dude. “Dumbass, we ought to be hit by that thing anyways,” said Vivian. She knows exactly what I’m thinking about. “I wouldn’t,” the Doodle Wizard said to himself. Doodle Wizard: Oh no, anything but the raging whirlpool! Oh wait, I forgot, I’m magic! Have a nice death, suckers! The whirlpool was getting close. Everybody but the Doodle Wizard shouted in horror. Once again, I got to give Doodle Wizard credit for his apathy in such a dire situation. In a moment, the lair was disintegrated while the area was totally flooded, whilst it was raining outside.'' And to their misfortune, it was not the right season to discuss the secret formula after having gargled with vanilla pudding. “That was so scary…ugh, I can’t…breathe, too much pressure...from the whirlpool! Am I bleeding…no, AM I DYING?!” Mason said dramatically. Comedy gold. “We’re not dead, we have pebbles of lives,” Vivian pointed out. Vivian: The whirlpool has reduced my bones to glass and my skin to paper, but we’re wearing immortality around our necks, so stop whining. “Oh yeah...but what happened to the Doodle Wizard?” Sierra asked. I presume he’s left the scene to submit his application to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. “I don’t know, I guess he’s meant to disappear like that,” said Jason. I know, right? It’s like he’s some sort of magician…or something. “Look at the bright side…uh, never mind.” Thanks Jason, I appreciate your optimism…or your lack thereof. The others were seen afloat on a piece of wood destroyed from the lair. A clap of thunder appeared. Thunder, feel the thunder! (*Clap, clap, clap*) Lightning and the thunder! “Theo and Rick, wherever they are, we better find them!” Sierra said, stroking swiftly. “Weren’t they inside that concentration facility hours ago, but the bad news is…our jet is abandoned, and we’re way far from Massachusetts,” said Kaan. Kaan: I know your other brethren are still out there, missing, but I’m more worried about my jet! “And where do we happen to be?” Vivian asked. “New Orleans…Louisiana,” Kaan said dramatically. Fitting since this was the location of the carnage that Hurricane Katrina wrought. Yep, it’s totally not symbolic of Hurricane Katrina at all. Also, I want to take the moment to appreciate the line “Kaan said dramatically.” Just how dramatic are we talking here? “I had a GPS in my pocket, can’t believe I still have it.” Kaan: I could’ve brought back the jet, but this GPS is our #1 priority! “That horrible no-good Horacio,” David thought. “Since when did that area have a waterfall?” He asked. “What did you say? I can’t hear you over the roar of that waterfall!” Jonah said aloud. Once again, they shouted in horror. And that gives us another reason not to go chasing waterfalls. TLC approves this message. The scene goes to Rick and Theo, still with Kaiden. It looks like we’re still not quite done with this, but I suppose you got to build up to Guru Gakuto’s next arc where Rick and Theo must save Sierra from being sent to the Shadow Realm, if that’s what the spin-off is now gravitating towards. “Wow, didn’t see that coming. Johnny Test: That’s my line! Is that right, Rick?” Theo questioned. “Yeah, but is everyone else okay? Because I can seriously hear their screaming,” said Rick. “Well, at least the whirlpool out of nowhere never caught up to us.” Spoiler alert: The whirlpool catches up to them. Kaiden then gets up after his defeat. “I have admitted loss…not by a long shot, because I still cannot be stopped! Kaiden exclaimed. Kaiden: This children’s card game that I lost fair and square in doesn’t decide who wins, I does! ”Oh sure, and I bet you can’t live without your virtual reality card collection,” Rick said, holding it up. With that, Rick was still taunting Kaiden with it, until he throws it off, as Kaiden jumps down for it. Kaiden: “Must…risk…life….for…cards!” “Woah, is Kaiden alright?” Theo questioned. Well, so far, the worst thing that’s ever happened to him was his cards getting wet and later himself. “Yeah, yeah, he’s fine, I can see him moving…he’s also close to New Orleans,” Rick examined. “So…when’s lunch?” Theo asked again. Don’t worry about it, the nearest underwater equivalent to Popeye’s shouldn’t be too far away. “You know, we better get back to our group, we can’t stand in this zip-line all day,” said Rick, If you’re going to try and keep doing these riffs, you shouldn’t be stuck adopting the spin-off’s stupidity. and pulled the floating spot down to where New Orleans was. “Also, if thunder occurs, you’re my shield,” he added. Then who will be your mirror, your sword, and your missionaries in a foreign field? In a few minutes, Rick and Theo find the rest of the group. Rick and Theo found them after falling in quicksand. “Rick, where have you been? I have been worried sick…literally, about you!” Sierra said with excitement. “So, what was up with that whirlpool?” Theo asked. “Horacio created it with some kind of control, Or Horacio is an airbender, but I’ll go with your answer. it came, and flooded this place, me and David were there, thank you very much,” Kaan answered. Rick: “Where’s my best day ever, thank you very much!?” “Okay, now what? I’m cold, I’m wet, and I feel like hitting something! Now I accept something else worse to happen!” Rick said. Then I hope you learn to accept it, if that’s what you mean. And it happened, Now is not the time for jokes, story. apparently, it wasn’t that much of a situation. A soaked and damaged Kaiden appeared in front of Sierra and co. Once again, all but Rick screamed in horror. Kaiden: How would you all like to come with me to Duelist Kingdom? “Isn’t that the guy that captured you and Theo?” Sierra asked Rick. “Respectively,” Rick replied. If that’s your definition of ‘respect,’ then I don’t believe you. With that, Sierra knocks out Kaiden, out of anger from the recent capture. Sierra: Being cured gives me super strength! Holy shit, it really does! “As usual, he should be okay…and we won’t be seeing him from point on,” said Theo. Honestly, I hope we never see more of him. Then, all of a sudden (out of nowhere), Thanks for the heads-up. torpedoes were shot down from mid-air, the source was Horacio, inside Kaan’s jet. “Ugh, if any other unfortunate thing is going to happen right now, I SWEAR I’D-“Rick said with anger, it was interrupted by another torpedo. Horacio: I dare you to finish that sentence! “Aw man, its Horacio again!” David said with awe. Horacio is back!? I’m in awe! “Of course, but this is just temporary, with the whole raining, thunder, and all,” said Horacio. “Well, unless you all survive, this is the last experience for all of you, adios,” Horacio finished and flew off. “Aw man, that was my jet!” Kaan added. I’m afraid to inform this to you Kaan, but your jet dumped you for Horacio. This is a trap, I knew it,” said Mason. Get new material, funny man! After that, another torpedo was shot, “And it happens that we’re still aware that Horacio is still firing those torpedoes!” Do less fourth wall breaking and more trying to escape, if I could just make a suggestion. Sierra and co. still screamed, unfortunately, from the torpedo effect, Sierra falls overboard. Kaan jumps down and comes to rescue her. Guru Gakuto, recreating tired female character stereotypes since 2011. “I’m scared,” said Jonah. ”Me too, I’m lucky I know how to swim, and don’t worry, we’re all going to be okay,” said Kaan, Vivian was huddling with him afterwards. “You’re pretty warm and brave too, I like that,” said Vivian. Well, so much for that serious, heartfelt moment, huh? As long as Vivian still has her Pebble of Life, we still have to endure jokes about her being horny towards some Austrian dude. For a few minutes, Sierra and co. noticed the sun was about to come up, as they were the exiting the boundaries of New Orleans. “I see light; I also see a bright side!” Jason said. Nah, I’m pretty sure it’s the bright side that found you. “So Kaan, what does it say on your GPS?” Sierra asked. “We’ve reached the near seas in Houston, Texas,” said Kaan. Houston is going to be having a lot of problems it seems, and this story is one of them. “I’m glad all that is over, so what could our stop in Texas prove that Gakuto is here?” Mason asked. Just find a sign that reads “Gakuto was here” and you’ll find him eventually. “I don’t know, he obviously can’t be here, so maybe we’ll wait until we have another utility vehicle,” said Kaan. The day that Horacio took Kaan’s jet will be the day that Horacio’s life reaches its expiration date. “Hmm…how about we ask somebody for help?” Sierra suggested. Yes, finally, some more common sense in this spin-off! “Good idea, let’s ask that hot chick over there,” Rick said walked up to her. No! So of course, in these desperate times, resort to sexual harassment. Screw you, Rick. “Hot girl…what?” Sierra said, after realizing what Rick said. Sean Connery: That’s what I said to your mother last night, ha, ha, ha! “So, whoever you are, my name is Rick, and I’m with a group of others, as them and myself happen to be lost, and we don’t have any means of transportation, and I’m asking if you have anything to do with that,” he explained. If only if talking to girls didn’t stifle his grammar. “My name is Savannah; it’s a pleasure to meet you. But I’m not sure if I have any support for you and your friends,” Savannah greeted. At least she has more common sense than these seven young travelers if she knows not to trust some random strangers from the get-go. I sure hope that I don’t jinx myself later again. ”Of course it is, and we happen to be a family, even David and Kaan,” Sierra said to Savannah. “You know, if a date is alright, would it be at that restaurant nearby?” Rick suggested. “Would it be okay if I brought them over?” Rick: Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I’m feeling really horny right now, so go on a date with me, maybe. “It’s a date, though, it would seem crowded if you do that,” Savannah replied, and left with Rick. You…you just met this guy, he’s asking for a date with you at the very start of the conversation, and you’re saying yes! “Am I the only one who finds something suspicious about that Savannah person?” Sierra questioned. “We’re going to that date, and I volunteer Vivian and Kaan to do some undercover work.” OR…you should be focusing on finding Gakuto while you have the chance and while you’re all not being hunted down by Horacio or DoodleBob at the moment. How can you call yourself the leader when you’re letting your lustful, incestuous fantasies of Rick shift your priorities? Besides, Rick did say that you and your other adoptive siblings are invited anyway. “Why me, I never agreed to this, Yeah, WHY get Vivian roped into this? Yep, I think this is the very point of the episode where I call myself done. you’re just saying that out of my liking over Kaan,” Vivian said. “Oh, I see what you’re trying to do.” “Oh yeah, isn’t spying unhealthy for development of your relationship, even if Savannah barely even knows us?” Jason thought. Here we go with Jason asking the real question. “Can we have lunch there?” Theo asked. …And here’s Theo asking the realest question. “Just do it, Vivian! You with Kaan at that restaurant sums up as a date!” Sierra commanded. A problematic date, if I might unfortunately add. “Uh, thanks…the rest of you guys are going to be hiding around, right?” Vivian said. The Pebble of Life seems to grant one sole purpose, so I don’t think it comes with Stealth Mode. The scene goes to the restaurant, as we see Rick and Savannah come inside. It was at least four in the afternoon. It took less than ten minutes for Rick and Savannah to know each other and hook up, so it must’ve only taken them an hour to arrange their date. “Remember the plan Vivian, you just go inside with Kaan, and make sure your table is close to Rick’s table,” Sierra instructed. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?” Jonah said to Sierra. “What are you talking about? I am definitely not jealous about Rick,” Sierra replied. Vivian and Kaan were on the case. I find the lack of nuance in this spin-off very disturbing. The scene goes to the inside of the restaurant, with Rick and Savannah. “Wow, this place is kind of fancy,” Rick thought. Yep, and it’s just enough to have a good time,” said Savannah. ”And you should know that I’m mostly here to see if you have some kind of transportation,” Rick replied. Rick really is letting his skewered priorities show. Come on dude, you’re the one who pressured her to go on a date with you. After that, the next shot goes to Vivian and Kaan that were two tables away from Rick and Savannah. It’s so weird to imagine the thought of there being a film camera when reading a story. I wonder who the author got to film Guru Gakuto anyway. “Well, we didn’t get a table next to them, but I think this is close enough,” said Kaan. The closest table adjacent to Rick and Savannah was given to Jessica Simp. “So, since this is partially a date, tell me about you, being around with a supermodel is fascinating,” said Vivian. “Wait, I think I hear something.” The shot goes back to Rick and Savannah. Cameraman: Oh, is it time to show Rick and Savannah? Okay, um, allow to me just move this thing a bit… “You know, my parents run the Pizza Castle business in this area, nothing else much. We’re getting a bit close, and I thought you could meet them for once,” Savannah said to Rick. Does her dad happen to be Mario by any chance? “Agreed, maybe I can use the delivery truck if they have spares,” Rick thought. “So, is there anything suspicious about Savannah yet?” Vivian said to Kaan. There’s nothing as far as I can tell. “Am I the only one who feels set up because Sierra was jealous? Because apparently, Savannah seems to be a really nice person, Kaan responded. “They won’t notice we were here if we sneak out this restaurant.” I’m sorry Mason, but it looks like you’ve just gotten replaced as the embodiment of Envy. Before they were going to do so, they got the bills. “Oh man, 100 dollars?!” Vivian said with shock. “I tried to tell you to not to order the expensive looking ones on the menu,” said Kaan. “Let’s just get out of here, so Savannah will barely even know we’d be invited to see her parents.” Kaan – Encouraging others to dine and dash since 2011. Before the two were about to exit, an emergency siren came on. “Oh crap, too bad we don’t have money,” said Vivian. And thus ends the Gakuto kids’ quest to find their adoptive father. The day that Vivian and Kaan didn’t pay their bill was the day that they all paid the price for their crime. “Wait a minute, Vivian and Kaan, what do you both think you’re doing here?” Rick asked. Eating a meal, a succulent Chinese meal? First there was a raging whirlpool activated from controls, causing drastic events in Louisiana. Second, they arrived in Texas. Leave it to the author to recap one of the most important details, folks. Third, one person knows it pays, especially when it comes to interfering. And the other knows it pays, because they can get arrested for not doing so. To be continued... Well, that was certainly a weird note to end an episode on. We’re treated first thing to a devastating whirlpool and it ends with Vivian and Kaan getting themselves in a bit of a downsie-wownsie by getting caught for dine and dashing, as well as for spying on Rick and Savannah. Just when I thought that this spin-off was pivoting towards a clearer direction with its narrative, it just keeps going south. Anyway... RANDOM CHARACTER SPOTLIGHT OF THE EPISODE KAAN'S JET: What we know about it so far: It is, or now was, the main method of transport for the kids of Gakuto, piloted by Kaan. It is now in the hands of DoodleBob, Horacio, and their evil organization to stifle these main characters from finding Gakuto. Information I could add about it: Rumor has it that Kaan and his jet have been together ever since the former earned a license to fly. Considering that the jet seems to have competition with Vivian's affections towards Kaan, this may be the reason why she has an irritational hatred for aircrafts in general. Will we be seeing it again?: As far as I'm concerned, this tragic breakup between an Austrian pool table cloth player and his beloved aircraft foretells that they may never be reunited, but there's also the possibility that Horacio will dump the jet not long after taking possession of it. --TAKE A BREAK FROM CBC3 AS I PESTER YOU TO PURCHASE THIS NIFTY FEATURE CALLED STEELIFY PREMIUM, WHICH CAN ALLOW YOU TO SKIP ADS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ...NOW BACK TO THE RIFFING--- 10. Stopped in the Name of Love Please don’t tell me this is a reference to the R. Kelly song with a slightly different name. If it’s so, then this is a nod that hasn’t aged well. Although considering this spin-off’s weird inconsistent episode title theme in referencing old-school R&B songs, I should assume that this is a reference to The Supremes song with an otherwise similar title. “What are me and Kaan doing here? I don’t know, dating, odd coincidence isn’t it,” Vivian said, lying. First line of the episode and it seems we’ve already reached the pinnacle of its writing quality. “You are spying on me and Rick? How dare you two little, nasty, brutal, frantic, inquisitive, semi-futile, butt-ins! Hell with you two douchebags!” Savannah exclaimed. Hey now, no need to get all flowery with your insults. “See, now we have so much in common. But seriously, get out of here! We don’t want your company!” Rick said. …Calmly. Vivian rolls her eyes, and then she and Kaan get out of the restaurant. “My family members plus Kaan and that other extra, they are extremely different, am I right?” He said to Savannah. And your point is…? “You’re still coming to my house?” Savannah asked back. “Let’s make it tonight at eight, and I’ll see you later,” Rick replied, and leaves. At five in the afternoon, the next scene shows Sierra and co. after Rick, Vivian, and Kaan came back. “Yep, these two are in deep shit, right?” Rick said about Vivian and Kaan. Well yes, but mostly Sierra for pretty much setting them up to nose in on your date. “I see Savannah has totally started overshadowing your ego,” Sierra thought. You’re also one to talk when it comes to inflated egos. “Savannah is not that kind of girl, just leave her alone!” Rick said. Mad respect for women by the same person who landed a date with someone that he barely even knew in less than one day. “That exactly, when your love instincts came, Savannah was all starting to be like you and all,” said Kaan. …And your point is…? “And Sierra happens to be revived from Lust, and she’s more likely revived from jealousy now,” Rick pointed out. That makes half sense since Mason is the one with the pebble of Envy. But proceed. “Jealous? Please, I’m nothing like that,” said Sierra. “You do realize we haven’t gotten our suspicions over Savannah figured out, AND we need a back-up for Kaan’s plane!” “Whatever, but no matter what, I’m going to Savannah’s house and meet her parents,” said Rick. “Wow, you’re so lucky,” Mason complimented. I wouldn’t call meeting someone by forcing them to go out with you ‘lucky,’ but okay. “We ought to come to; we can’t handle you treating us like outcasts!” Sierra said to Rick. “And come to think you had a crush on me,” Rick replied. Thanks, ‘cause I still don’t want to think about that. “You’re lucky I’m not the bad type,” Sierra replied, and held both of Rick’s arms. “We’re going to wherever her house is, and we won’t be slipped out of your arms.” With that, the rest held on to Rick. “If you don’t let go of me, I swear I’ll-“Rick said to himself, he cut himself off, courtesy of Sierra. What happened? Did Sierra just kick Rick in the balls or what? Sierra and co. were still dragging Rick to Savannah’s house, until they finally found it, informed by Rick. You got to give them credit for their tight adoptive sibling bond for being able to literally drag one of their own around without complaining. “We made it to her house,” said Rick. “Now, do me a favor, and don’t do anything embarrassing during my first long-distance relationship attempt.” “Long-distance relationship…” Sierra said with shock, and twitched several times. I’d like to know what happened that made this one of her trigger words. Rick rings the doorbell, and Savannah appears at the door. Riveting scene descriptions. “Rick! My sweet really did come! With your family and those extras,” Savannah said, referring to David and Kaan. ‘Extras’ is a very bold way of describing both characters. They didn’t provide much to this story, let alone this episode, but they’re there anyway. “I know Savannah, I brought those two meddling idiots, you know how complicated life is,” said Rick. “Why is that girl red in the face…like she can’t breathe?” Savannah asked. She’s working her way towards getting a new talent agent by trying to do a facial impression of the Kool Aid Man. “Woah, you’re right, but I have no idea,” Rick replied, referring to Sierra with a red face, holding her frustration. “Take it easy Sierra; you are revived with Lust after all.” After that, Sierra and co. came inside Savannah’s house, and her parents appeared. “Rick and company, these are my parents,” she introduced. ”It’s a pleasure to meet them Savannah,” said Jason. “As a very important house guest, what are we going to do tonight?” Rick asked. The same thing she does every night, Rick – try to take over the world. “Savannah was thinking some movie and popcorn for starters, she also has an interest in some scary fables,” Savannah’s dad said. Fables…? You mean the series of graphic novels…or the type of stories written by Aesop? What’s so scary about the latter though, is it because it teaches them certain topics such as morality? Don’t use words without knowing what they actually mean! “Besides, I bet you have some food, because when it comes to Theo, he’s the greedy type, not to be confused with Jonah,” said Mason. “Sure, he can help himself with whatever’s in the fridge,” Savannah’s mother said. If he eats out the entire fridge, don’t think you’re not going to live to regret this act of patronage later. “YAY, FOOD!” Theo said with joy and went inside the kitchen. “If you guys want to know, I have an older brother, but I don’t know where he is right now,” said Savannah, as the movie started, while grabbing some popcorn. Ah yes, the typical sudden missing family member reveal cliché, just when we weren’t even asking for it. “So, um…what is he like?” Jason questioned. I’m guessing he’s dead. “Well, I always remember him about being stuck-up with being leader,” said Savannah. “This is also a pretty good movie.” Plot twist: They were watching Sierra Burgess is a Loser. “Yeah, I know Savannah, and I keep forgetting, but I guess I remember now…you want to come with us after this?” Rick asked. Let’s be frank for one moment: What pair of teenagers actually talk like this when they enter a relationship? I know the author has an excuse in not being a conversationalist and having never been in a relationship before, but that’s never an excuse not to shy away from writing a realistic romantic plot. In fact, why are we still focusing on this when this spin-off is about a group of kids searching for their missing father? Still noticing Rick was still oblivious about the whole travel situation, Sierra gave a facepalm. Sierra is pissed that Rick is dragging the story longer than it needs to. “Aw Rick, I’d absolutely love to! But I have to tell my parents, and make sure I’m far away from those assholes,” Savannah replied, referring to Vivian and Kaan again. “They were inside that restaurant for a reason, and I can assure you-!” Sierra was about to say, but was interrupted by Savannah’s parents. Just leave it to Sierra for “taking responsibility” for setting up her adoptive siblings for a pointless stakeout like any self-respecting team leader would. “Since your friends are getting closer, maybe they can stay for another day Savannah,” her dad suggested. “Thanks father, because I was about to get to the exciting part,” said Savannah. After the movie was finished, Sierra and co. were gathered around with Savannah to hear what she has to say. If this is the ‘exciting part’ that we’re supposed to be anticipating, then I hope it is such. “Once upon a time, several houses were rumored to be a target of a mysterious kidnapper,” Savannah said. “He was like any other, but nobody knew who he was, and in at least 20 minutes, the person the mysterious kidnapper feasts its eyes on…can disappear real easy. Nobody knows where the kidnapper is or what it’s doing either, it’s a huge mystery,” she finished. Spookiest fable I’ve ever heard, ten outta ten. “A mysterious kidnapper, are you kidding me?” Vivian said with disbelief. “I almost heard a tale like that, except it doesn’t involve a kidnapper, and it proven to be a lie!” You just saw your brethren get captured and sent to a military base camp twice. What doesn’t sound unbelievable to you? “Thank you Vivian,” Savannah said sarcastically. “Yeah, I tell stories like these, I’m involved with that.” If you tell creepypastas as a profession, then you might consider finding a new day job. “And you’re going to make us believe that “it” is going to show up in your house?” Mason questioned. “Oh I never said that,” said Savannah. And then it showed up in her house. The next scene shows Horacio in another location, but it was unknown. No, this isn’t the proper time for a scene transition! “They’re hiding…again, in Texas,” said Horacio after looking at his computer. “Obviously, they can’t hide forever, and I don’t even have to worry about this other bitch. Even Horacio isn’t interesting in this forced romantic subplot. He knows how to stay committed to his own character. Let’s see…what should be my late night plot,” he said to himself. “Yep, I was thinking another raid.” That’s some expert critical thinking for a less-than-nuanced villain. After that, somebody appears in front of Horacio. He had a black hat, with a green trench coat. “And do what? Waste every unit of your weapons to execute the group?” He said, about Sierra and co. “Doesn’t matter, as for you, your quest is to cover my tracks,” Horacio replied. “At some point, I will be in Switzerland to create another mega weapon.” Why of all places though, so that he could build a weapon of mass destruction made out of chocolate? “Fine thing, I’ll be awaiting your results…” he said. “As an assistant to my party, you always want the royal pain, do you Trent? Oh man, the Total Drama contestant must have fallen off hard enough after all these years to get roped into this guy’s affairs. I’ve been involved with this in the first place, so get your ass to Texas, and follow them, without a trace!” Horacio commanded. “Whatever…” Trent replied, and left. He’s just as motivated as I am towards reading this spin-off. Meanwhile at Savannah’s house… “Ugh, I can’t believe we still don’t have any progress,” said Sierra, “No offense Savannah, but you’re slowing us down from searching for Gakuto, it’s kind of your fault.” You’re wrong actually, it’s no one’s fault except the story itself. “I was just expressing my character with a small fable,” said Savannah. By ‘fable’ you mean what barely even resembles a creepypasta, and by ‘character’ you mean your lack thereof. “Still, there’s no such thing as some “mysterious kidnapper,” said Vivian. The door opened up, revealing the “mysterious kidnapper.” Sierra and co. cover in fear, as the guy at the door turns out to be a worn out Kaiden. Oh no, they better assemble Exodia as fast as possible if they’re going to ward him off. “You see, we’re totally scared now,” said Vivian, sarcastically. “You all don’t know my brother, but-“Savannah said, but then Rick breaks it up. Oh no, it’s worse than I thought! Her brother is revealed to be the Neo-Nazi! “Back it up, Kaiden is your brother? But that’s okay, because there’s an angel in your family, and that’s you Savannah,” said Rick, I’m sure Savannah will accept your backhanded compliment very well. “I’ve met him before, I wonder what we should do with him.” “That lovesick little…” Sierra mumbled, and says to herself, “What am I doing? I like Rick, but I’m too focused on this mission,” then she openly says, “Tell us more.” Sure, let’s hear more about him. Leave it up to the main protagonist to keep the spin-off focused on its central plot as much as she could manage. “Kaiden’s my brother, and that’s it, Glad we had this talk. he should also stay and rest here,” said Savannah, “What are we doing again?” Nothing that is relevant to this story, as far as I can tell. “I’ll give you a hint, it has to do with air travel,” Sierra replied. “Oh, I just realized. There’s a carnival in town and we should go. Does that sound like fun?” Savannah said. It’s all fun and games until the carnival turns out to be tens of hundreds of hooks encompassing the area. “I’d just love to, though burning down a carnival is what I want to do before or after we find Gakuto,” said Rick. Whoa, slow down there. “No, for one thing that has to get away, why does it have to be carnival?” Sierra said. I’m confused by the way you speak, but I get what you mean. “Relax Sierra, what harm could be done from that?” Kaan said. Continuously dragging this story to unnecessary filler is one thing I’d point out. “By the time we get there, I had the slightest story about a mysterious killer at late night festivals,” Savannah added. Then Sierra and co. arrived at the carnival. “So what should we do first Savannah? There are always the bumper boats,” said Rick. This sounds inappropriate out of context, so I hope this next stage of this romance plot doesn’t lean towards that route. “How about we ride the Ferris Wheel?” Savannah suggested. “It won’t be a date,” Sierra noted. “I got it handled Sierra,” said Rick, “The Ferris Wheel…that sounds like fun.” Then we cut to a person behind a wall for no apparent reason. Now that’s a solid way to introduce us to a new character. “It’s Savannah, what is she doing with that other guy?” The mysterious guy wondered. “Justin, what’s the big deal? And why are we hiding like this?” His friend asked. Steel: Okay, so if none of you have noticed by now, this character’s name is indeed derived from the irl name of SBC’s siterunner himself, Jjs. Of course, he’s later referred to as ‘Jordan,’ but before I go out of my way to edit out every other mention of ‘Justin’ in the original posts, I’ll have you folks be introduced to the character as Justin for the sake of consistency. Of course, this isn’t the only time I’ve done something like this as I’ve tried using my own name for one of my Sub-Tropical Academy characters only to then regret it shortly after and remove every mention of the original name. In retrospect, I could’ve chosen a better character to attach the name to, but I know Jjs wouldn’t care at all to remember the type of character that I have had used his name for, and you’ll understand my concerning tone as this spin-off continues on... “We’ve been hiding since Savannah decided to show up late with somebody else. The big deal is, I think she’s cheating on me,” said Justin. Wow…shocker. Still though, what the heck is going on in this episode? “So you’re going to that Ferris Wheel to rouse up more trouble?” His friend replied. “That my friend…is what I’m going to do,” Justin replied. He walks always cunningly, with his friend confused. There’s a ‘this will not end well,’ joke waiting to be used, but I refuse to be predictable. By the time Sierra and co. was at the Ferris Wheel, Sierra, Rick, and Savannah argue about which spot Rick should share, Kickin’ in the front seat, sittin’ in the back seat… while Vivian had her cart with Mason, Jason had his cart with Jonah, Kaan had his spot with David, and Theo doesn’t have another spot yet. Then, Justin rushes over. These scene descriptions are making my head hurt. “Reserve my spot with that girl over there,” Justin says, referring to Savannah at the attendant. “Why would I do that?” The attendant said. Justin thinks for a moment and says, “Actually, I’ll reserve with the other chick,” he was referring to Sierra. “Why would I do that?” The attendant said. “I’m sticking with you Rick, no matter what,” said Sierra. “Actually, your spot is already taken,” said Justin, and runs off with Sierra to their cart. Yeah, just tell that to some stranger that you don’t even know. That will convince them that you’re not here just to act as a plot device. “I guess that means I’m riding with you,” Rick said to Savannah. “What am I, chopped liver?” Theo said. If you were, you’d be trying to eat yourself. He then takes the same cart with Rick and Savannah by request. The Ferris Wheel first shows Sierra with Justin. “So…who are you?” Sierra asked. “I’m Justin, what about you?” Justin said. “I’m Sierra,” she replied. “Do you have anything to do with Savannah?” He asked. Yeah, this dialogue is boring af, so I’m skimming through most of it. “Barely, it’s mostly Rick. He’s always hanging out with her since he had a crush on her…and all I wanted to do is get advantage to find somebody special: Gakuto, he went missing…” Sierra replied. “Of course…Savannah is a liar.” Shocking reveal, huh? Let’s be real though, this romance plot has never really been fun or exciting to begin with and this little bombshell isn’t going to make it more thrilling. “What are you talking about? Savannah totally deceived you, or something?” “Of course she did, it looks like I have to reason with those two.” Justin then jumps to where Rick, Theo, and Savannah were, as the people on the ground (and Sierra) were surprised. If your plan was going to get on the same car as Savannah to get back at her for this sudden infidelity revelation, you could’ve thought this more through. “So you’re just going to talk to me like that? I don’t like being alone,” said Sierra. I thought you’d be more concerned about him jumping into Rick and Savannah’s car like a maniac. When Justin finds Rick, Theo and Savannah, he turns to Rick and says, “I see you’ve gotten into a relationship. Is it your first time?” No, wait, I think this may actually be the most ironically hilarious moment of the episode. “What the hell is this?” Rick said, obviously confused. The feeling is mutual. “I’m Justin, and I’m here to tell you that Savannah is not what she seems to be: she’s a cheater,” said Justin. Since her brother is Kaiden, I could be convinced that he meant that she cheated in a children’s card game tournament. “Savannah is totally not a liar, she’s different like me, and you should accept that!” Rick replied. I’m not sure how to feel about that “compliment,” but sure, let’s go with that defense. Once again, I have to remind myself that writing romance stories has never been the author’s forte. “You don’t get it? I can sense when one person is lying, and I know it is Savannah. So, truthfully, she doesn’t like you, and she kind of cheated on me. ‘Kind of?’ If you’re confident that you’re being cheated on, you can be blunt about it. Because you stumbled in the way for some reason,” Justin replied. So…um…is Savannah going to do something about this, or are we just going to keep watching two bros having a cockfight? “Savannah lied to me…like when she tells me her scary fables?” I’m sure Aesop has quite a scary fable for Savannah to learn about this episode is through. Rick said, but changes his attitude, “I still like her. Lies are nothing to me.” You barely even got to know both Savannah and Justin. How stupid can you be? “So you would expect a carnival killer coming this way, after listening to what she says?” For a sudden, tanks and helicopters arrived, with DoodleBob leading. Blame It On the Rain? Heh, blame it on DoodleBob! “Orphans, number two of the most predictable things in my book,” he mumbled. I have several questions…one of them being what the number one most predictable thing is to him. “Alright everybody, we’re looking for a group…involved with the search of Gakuto,” said DoodleBob, “And right now, the other leader, Horacio, is on holiday.” “Ugh, they always have to follow us…” said Rick. Once again, I am skimming through some more dialogue since there’s not much that’s riff-worthy with these next few scenes. Because of the hold of the cart, it snaps and suspends to the ground, with the four. “What is that?” Justin said about DoodleBob. “That’s not important now. Now go with Savannah and hide,” said Rick. The other carnival guests scream and run away in fear, while Sierra and the others left the ride, and confront DoodleBob. “You know, you can’t kill them,” Kaan said, referring to the seven. This isn’t the proper time to fight your allies’ battles. “Worth a shot,” said DoodleBob, and brings out a machine gun, Holy crap, he’s really taking his job seriously. along with the others, but with slightly smaller ones in comparison. Did he bring a bunch of glocks with him too? Kaan and David were protected as they were behind the seven. “There’s a helicopter. We need to get DoodleBob and his minions off-guard for a moment,” said Rick. While DoodleBob and the others we’re Never thought I’d see a rare sight where the author confuses ‘were’ with ‘we’re,’ but he’re we are. still wasting bullets against them, Rick jumps and get a hold of the helicopter, by pushing the pilot off. It’s okay guys, the pilot was a doodle. Unfortunately, there was one helicopter behind, and snags David. Of course, it’s not Guru Gakuto without at least one character getting captured or kidnapped. “Let me go!” David said. “This kid will be useful,” said DoodleBob. Before Rick was going to tell the others to get on his helicopter, Rick uses the controls to damage DoodleBob’s tank, along with the others. I like how the story has me assume that a character like Rick with no experience in piloting an aircraft could just pilot a helicopter no problem. Before things started blowing up, DoodleBob and his minions escaped in the helicopter that had David. “You guys are lucky…always lucky,” said DoodleBob, before he leaves. Mason: Hey, that’s my line! Sierra and co. then got on Rick’s helicopter. “Wait…we need to bring Savannah, she did say she wanted to go with us,” said Rick. “That’s because you asked her,” said Kaan. Where in this episode did she say that specifically? I could go all the way back and see if I missed something, but I prefer to not to waste any more time and let myself be gaslighted anyway. Kaan then flies the copter, while Rick sees Savannah and notices Justin left somehow. Savannah just smiles, when Rick gave her the offer to come along. The helicopter continues to fly away, while we then see Justin on a motorcycle… Helicopters were too mainstream for him. One white lie must have turn into one disaster, Well, things didn’t escalate until DoodleBob showed up, but let’s go with that, I guess. and right now...one member joins, and one member is lost. With the way that the episode rushed itself to the end, I wouldn’t have assumed that Savannah joined up with the group after going through quite an emotional rollercoaster. Looks like the next few episodes are going to give us some closure on Savannah’s actions, but I know already that I’m not going to enjoy it. To be continued... So this is how this romance-driven two-parter ends, not with a bang, not with a whimper, but with an a-pull, and not a very satisfying one at that. I could fathom that the author had his utter disappointment with Total Drama World Tour in mind while writing this particular episode, and yet ended up writing something with a message against unfaithfulness that’s even less nuanced and more inconspicuous than the animated show in question had done prior. You could say it ended up influencing how this plot was written despite the author’s intent. There’s now three episodes left of this season to cover, and I can already tell you that I’m not looking forward to them. I am, although, confident that the spin-off should start becoming more focused on the main narrative now that I’ve gotten this far into it. It has to. The story so far has gotten mostly nowhere, running around in a directionless circle. RANDOM CHARACTER SPOTLIGHT OF THE EPISODE THE FERRIS WHEEL OPERATOR: What we know about it so far: Even though he is referred to as an 'attendant,' he sustains quite an important job in the oceanwide carnival business in giving customers their preferred cars (and having to deal with some teen angst-related B.S. on a semi-regular basis). Information I could add about him: With DoodleBob declaring war on the world with Doodle Darkness, it seems as though that his person is stuck with this dead-end job to put food on the table, which is such a pity. Will we be seeing it again?: While we're most likely never going to see more of him, this guy seems to have better and bigger dreams ahead of him, which he may as well be chasing after this spin-off's story concludes.