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Difference between revisions of "Old Man Jenkins"
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OMJ would soon wash up onto uncharted territory. He came upon the natives, and they hailed him as a god. OMJ would go on to rule the natives, creating Fascism and Communism during reign. The natives got scared so they told him they were gonna move in with their aunties and uncles in Bel-Air. OMJ ordered in the nukes and the natives were smited for their insolence. OMJ would come across Lois and Clark, who asked him "Where's Hollywood?" so they went off in search of it together. OMJ would win the entire Louisiana Purchase from King Louis during a game of strip poker and Louis' wife baked them a cake and marked with a B before OMJ put it on the window sill to mold over. OMJ would later free the slaves from Uncle Tom with a little help from his friends, Shaka Zulu, William Wallace, and Beethoven. He lead the slaves through the Arizona desert before parting open some broad's legs, drowning out Uncle Tom and his World War propaganda with groaning and moaning. | OMJ would soon wash up onto uncharted territory. He came upon the natives, and they hailed him as a god. OMJ would go on to rule the natives, creating Fascism and Communism during reign. The natives got scared so they told him they were gonna move in with their aunties and uncles in Bel-Air. OMJ ordered in the nukes and the natives were smited for their insolence. OMJ would come across Lois and Clark, who asked him "Where's Hollywood?" so they went off in search of it together. OMJ would win the entire Louisiana Purchase from King Louis during a game of strip poker and Louis' wife baked them a cake and marked with a B before OMJ put it on the window sill to mold over. OMJ would later free the slaves from Uncle Tom with a little help from his friends, Shaka Zulu, William Wallace, and Beethoven. He lead the slaves through the Arizona desert before parting open some broad's legs, drowning out Uncle Tom and his World War propaganda with groaning and moaning. | ||
They came | They came across the band, Franz Ferdinand, but their joyful reunion was cut short by a group of Libyan nationalists who wanted their plutonium back. They assassinated Franz Ferdinand and that day would be known as the Day The Music Died. OMJ left Lois and Clark in Metropolis to do their shit and moved on to bigger and better things. Once OMJ made it to Hollywood, he came across T-Pain, the mixmastering master of darkness, who unleashed an unspeakable evil into the world known as "auto tune". T-Pain opened up a portal in time and flung OMJ into the future, where auto tune has the music industry in a death lock. Now OMJ seeks to return to the past, and undo the evil that is auto tune. | ||
And that's my story and I'm sticking to it. If you mustered up the courage to read all of that, give yourself a congratulatory spanking. That'll do, pig. That'll do. | And that's my story and I'm sticking to it. If you mustered up the courage to read all of that, give yourself a congratulatory spanking. That'll do, pig. That'll do. | ||