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Clappy
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Posts posted by Clappy
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4 hours ago, Steel Sponge said:
With all fairness, I don't hate "High Hopes" and whatever problem I've had with it, it wasn't for being what it was. I've been feeling a warm spot for the song because I found it to be overproduced, a problem in which I also found in most other tracks from "Pray for the Wicked." I've been wanting to like the song as well, just so I'd point out. While I feel like I could change my mind, "High Hopes" at the moment just doesn't really impress me.
Wasn’t indirectly referring to you since I didn’t even know your thoughts on the song to begin with, but no worries. Every one is entitled to their own opinion.
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Good luck SOF! Wishing you a safe and speedy recovery.
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Seriously agree about High Hopes. Love the song for being uplifting and fun in such a dreary hit year. And the people are complaining about it for being as such just don’t want to be happy.
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This topic is self-aware and it knows it.
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Since you titled your thread as such:
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel
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19 hours ago, kev said:
can’t wait to read this
Now that I got the time, allow me to elaborate on what I mean by worst lists plural.
The past two years, I’ve had a new rule in place if I should allow streaming service original movies to appear on my in general movie lists. I would have to talk about like maybe one or two each year.
In the year of 2018, Netflix especially has been shitting out some pretty god awful original movies. Like I’m sure if I did a Top 10 for movies period, Netflix would occupy like 7/10ths of the list.
So instead, I’m going to challenge myself and do two different worst lists. A smaller one specifically for original movies from Netflix that will probably just be a Top 5 list with a few shoutouts to some of the other shit I sat through. And then a traditional top ten worst list.
So yeah, 2018. The year Netflix flooded my timeline with too many dogshit movies.
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Well after all those complaints I made about this year, here lies a good question. Did that make 2018 completely irredeemable?
As already established well with my worst list, I did not like this year for singles as a whole. So much shit that I promise will not last the test of time, hell I guarantee I’ll forget way more than half of this list by the time 2019 list season starts. But as always, the good stuff always shines far and above the rest. And to be completely honest with you guys, this is honestly one of the better best lists of this decade. Like seriously, guaranteed top five best list of the decade. That’s how excellent I found these hits to be. Not enough to not change my stance on this year for singles as a whole, but enough to make it not worth my time. Hopefully the good stuff will last the test of time because there is enough to salvage from this overall depressing year. As always, let's talk about a few honorable mentions first before we count down...
Spoiler“God Is a Woman” – Ariana Grande
This is a better version of Dangerous Woman. I think I like this more as a work of art more than I do a song if that makes any sense. Because this video is just gorgeous. I love it. I love the live performances. It really makes think you how far Ariana’s sexual maturity has evolved in her music in comparison to where it was four years ago. I just wish the song itself had a little more going for it because that chorus is such a profound statement that it makes the verses weaker in comparison. And speaking about songs taken as statements.
“This is America” – Childish Gambino
Would make the actual best list if this was in regards to the total package. Love the video. Love the think pieces. This absolutely works as a statement about modern day America. But to me, this is a best SONGS list for a reason. And as a song, it just doesn’t work as well without the music video and especially the gun shots from the video. Otherwise, it’s just another trap song with heavy amounts of sarcasm.
“Feel It Still” – Portugal. The Man
Almost made the best list again just for kicks now. This just keeps managing to grow on me no matter how overplayed it gets.
“Powerglide” – Rae Sremmurd & Juicy J
I liked Black Beatles just fine and all. That beat fucking kills every time. But this revamped sample of Three 6 Mafia’s “Side 2 Side” is even better and kills twice as much. I don’t know if Rae Sremmurd are splitting up or not since Swae Lee seems to be trying hard to go solo with all the work he’s shown up as of late, but this will probably go down as Rae Sremmurd’s best single.
“Bad at Love” – Halsey
I don’t think I ever really named the winner of that Song vs Song review from earlier this year. New Rules is the technically better song yes, but god does Bad at Love just strike more of a chord with me. I love it. So yeah, this song wins.
“One Kiss” – Calvin Harris & Dua Lipa
The closest we will ever get to having a Eurodance revival. And to think, I use to hate Calvin Harris a lot. He’s seriously gotten so much better than most of the EDM artists we have around right now, it’s crazy. Also, Dua Lipa. Excellent as always. Best new artist of 2018.
“SICKO MODE” – Travis Scott
With all the album bombs we went through on the charts this year, Travis Scott's latest album was definitely my favorite. I don’t know how to word it, but Astroworld is just an experience you have to listen to. This would probably rank middle tier amongst all the songs from it, but god do all those beat switch ups just get me hyped every freaking time.
“Stir Fry” – Migos
In a year with so much interchangeable trap music, Stir Fry stuck out in a good way. Actually is it fair to really classify this as a trap song? The moment you get Pharrell to produce your stuff, it immediately stands out for better or for worse. Either way, this song is still a real breath of fresh air.
“Havana” – Camila Cabello
Like I said on my worst list, this song is still great. But nearly a year of it being around kind of wore out its welcome. I’m starting to come around it to again though after months of not hearing it, so who knows. Maybe I’ll look back and think this deserved to be on the best list proper.
“Finesse” – Bruno Mars & Cardi B
Shocker. You know this best list is seriously great if I couldn’t place this one on the best list proper. But this shrunk on me a bit. Why you may ask? Too much Bruno Mars and not enough Cardi B, who fits in the new jack swing genre like a glove.
CLAPPY'S TOP TEN BEST HIT SONGS OF 2018
SpoilerI don't care how many times I have to point this out for these year end reviews in particular but damn, we need to cheer the fuck up.
https://nypost.com/2018/02/13/americans-are-more-depressed-and-miserable-than-ever/
This was such a dour year. Everything is all dark and gloomy. It’s reflective of the mood of the times. And our popular music reflects this especially well. If you guys are wondering why trap music is so freaking huge right now, look no further as to this being the main reason why. It makes me long for the stupidity of rap music of yesteryear. Even as far back as 2014/2015. Now who could provide us with something so absurdly dumb?
No, not you Kanye. I’m beyond sick of you this year with all your political nonsense and Twitter rants. Anyone else?
Hello, old friend.
10. “BIG BANK” – YG (featuring 2 Chainz, Big Sean, & Nicki Minaj)
Are we sure this was a hit this year and not some forgotten song from the DJ Mustard boom of 2014? Because good lord, once those xylophones start up ten seconds after the song begins, I lose it every time. I laugh hysterically. What a bait and switch. I’ve got to give it up to DJ Mustard for actually being more experimental with his production as of late.
But this isn’t all about DJ Mustard and this song feeling like an out of place relic in this year. We’ve got four names that were all really huge back in 2014 and some who still are now. Where has YG been as of late? I thought for sure he was done after he couldn’t follow up the shock value of having a song called My N*gga. Apparently he released critically praised album in 2016 and not a single hit from it. So hearing him rap about how much more successful he is than you is a fucking joke. A funny joke mind you.
Let me make it simple. YG gets outshined by his guest stars. 2 Chainz is amazing. I can’t believe I ever got annoyed by this doofus. He’s too funny to hate. How can you hate someone who thinks himself as big as dinosaur shit? What the fuck, I’m laughing again. Then you have Big Sean coming out of nowhere from changing his verse to being about flexing to an out of nowhere political stances. Huh what? Ridiculous. And of course there’s Nicki Minaj because she did way too many guest verses this year, but this is her best one.
At the end of the delay, whenever I need to cheer myself up, this was definitely a go to song for just flat out stupidity and I'm thankful for it...and BIG SHIT LIKE A DINOSAUR DID IT!
SpoilerDon’t act like you’re not surprised.
9. “All the Stars” – Kendrick Lamar & SZA
Yes one of the few times I talked about the hits from this year was me placing this as my number one doing the Spring chart rankings with Wumbo. If you guys haven’t learned anything about me by now doing those rankings, my number one position doesn’t mean anything doing those. My opinions change over the course of time like anyone else’s. My year end number one is fair game. Shoot I might as well and pull a Double Agent and just place The Hills there until the end of time if you guys want solidity.
I praised the hell out of SZA more than anything else while discussing this last time and I briefly mentioned how Kendrick Lamar did just enough to build up to SZA’s superstar making performance. Let me course correct just a little bit. Of course SZA still easily my favorite part of this entire song, but I didn’t give Kendrick nearly enough credit. His verse is commenting on standing tall while facing adversity and honestly, it makes sense he doesn’t sound fazed at all in his performance. Even commercialized Kendrick still brings plenty to the table because he’s that great of a rapper. And yes I said commercialized, he helped create the soundtrack to the biggest movie of the year, there’s no denying it isn’t.
Oh and I don’t think I mentioned this last time either, but if I did, it’s worth repeating. I love love love this music video. 2018 was a great year for music videos as practically all of the biggest songs of this year were established as such because of their videos. But I honestly believe this music video is hands down the most underrated. It’s masterfully done with so many breathtaking visuals.
Great song. Can't wait for both artists next albums.
SpoilerSo how about that latin pop trend? Yeah…it didn’t go as expected.
Instead of Despacito being the gateway to more Latin crossover appeal, the real trend starter was not the sixteen week number one hit. It was the still incredibly awful Mi Gente that lead the way for Latin trap music to crossover to the mainstream. Which is a damn shame since most of it has been pretty bad, but it makes sense since trap music is the hot shit over here right now.
I still wish we got more successful Latin pop music on the charts right now since actual pop music is basically nonexistent these days. Fortunately though, we had one super successful song this year that gave us the best of both worlds.
8. “I Like It” – Cardi B, Bad Bunny & J Balvin
Yeah I know, this is classified as Latin trap and all three artists make trap music…but I don’t think it is. You don’t use that supremely recognizable sample and call yourself a trap song. I heard this song on my local pop stations far more than I ever did on any rap stations. But hey being heard on pop stations more isn’t an insult. It just goes to show how commercially successful your single really is. And more importantly, it’s really good.
This is the best chorus of the year. The moment I hear it, the blood just rushes through my veins and I sing along every freaking time. I’m honestly surprised this wasn’t the Song of Summer. The Song of the Summer usually has an anthem of a chorus for all the people to sing along too, but I guess people would rather jump out of a moving car instead.
So yeah Cardi B is awesome as always, so why isn’t this higher? Well…
…yeah I’m sorry, I don’t really care for Bad Bunny’s part. Like at all. Besides having a seriously stupid stage name, I don’t really see any real charisma from this guy. I mean shoot, he gets outshined by Drake on his current song out right now and Drake is singing in really broken Spanish.
Then we have J Balvin, who man, I really owe an apology too from last year. Out of all the reggaeton artists we are getting right now, he seems to best know his way around a solid groove at least. He can stay on tempo, he is more charismatic than I gave him credit for last year, and he probably has the line of the song:
Pa-pa-paparazzi, like I’m Lady GagaSee? This line just gets me in the right nostalgia. Because it wants to take me back to nearly ten years ago when pop music was more mindless and fun.
Look I'm not going to shy around it. I can easily see myself getting tired of Cardi B by this time next year if she doesn't slow it down a bit because she is almost getting to the point of overexposure with how much she is appearing everywhere. But at the same time, with the amount of good Cardi B is still providing everywhere she is, I hope for nothing but the best for her. Regardless on if she becomes intolerable or still incredibly likeable, this song is an anthem. I LIKE IT LIKE THAT.
SpoilerAll year long I’ve been keeping track of one song in particular and keeping my fingers crossed that it will succeed. Because for the first three months, I thought it would fall of the charts entirely. But it kept hanging in there. Surviving practically every album bomb from this year. And even coming inches from cracking the top ten. And I think you all know which song I’m talking about. Discord's Best Hit Song of 2018.
7. “Delicate” – Taylor Swift
I couldn’t be happier for this song’s success. Taylor Swift still holds too strong a grasp hold in the music industry to completely drift away like so many of her peers have. Despite how disappointed I’ve been with practically all of her singles from reputation’s album cycle, I’m still a big fan of her as an artist. Well not as big as the rest of you are, but still I like her a lot.
This is some of the most onpoint songwriting Taylor has ever written. Even at her most publically mixed as she was for most of the past year, Taylor still held one huge asset that no one could ever take from her. Her song-crafting. This is Taylor at her most vulnerable and I love it when she gets vulnerable because you really see that the old Taylor is still in there. What this really feels like is a 1989 lost track. Especially with the vocoder and it being an electronic love song.
For those of you who think Taylor is over, you couldn’t be more wrong. After all, guess what album was number one on the Billboard 2018 Top 200? Yeah Taylor Swift will be just fine. If anything, the fact that Delicate is one of her longest charting singles is proof enough that Taylor knows which single her fans liked the most and what she will lean towards making more of with her next album probably. This is for the best.
SpoilerI opened up last year about how much I didn’t get why trap music became as popular as it has. I definitely get it a lot more this year since it reflects the mood of our society so well. But the amount of it that I will open up to loving, I still have my limitations over. To make my best of the year list, you have to connect and relate with me in some fashion to stand out. And one trap banger this year really went that extra mile to spark a connection with me.
6. “Ric Flair Drip” – Offset & Metro Boomin
I mean good lord, this is genius. Rappers comparing themselves to wrestling royalty like “Nature Boy” Ric Flair. Fucking brilliant. The similarities are all there: egotistical, braggadocious, self-centered, flexing, flaunting about buying the most expensive shit, stealing your girl….it’s all there. Holy shit. Why has it taken until just now for rappers to try and get my attention by comparing themselves to wrestlers? I can’t wait for the upcoming brag rap songs about Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage, Bret “The Hitman” Hart, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock…oh wait, we already have one:
God I still can’t believe that was a thing. But yeah, besides wrestling references that I adore, this beat fucking slaps. There’s a reason we don’t see other big name trap rap producers going out there and making their own albums because Metro Boomin is the best we have right now and more often than not, his stuff is pretty good.
But the real star of the show is Offset. And Offset is easily becoming my favorite rapper of the Migos trio. He had multiple song stealing guest verses this year. His bars are often pretty great. His flow is intimidating. Most importantly, we don’t see Offset fast-tracking solo projects that aren’t good.
For real though, if 2017 was the year of Quavo, 2018 was the year of Offset in terms of making a big name for yourself. And I think this is the song that proves Offset can be great whenever he does go solo.
SpoilerI swear amongst all of the rap album bombs, it’s always nice to see that there is still a glimmering bit of hope that pop music can recover from its death bed. Thank you Ariana for being that shining light. Seriously every single she has released this year has a legitimate chance of making my best lists for this year and next. This year there will be only one and it’s excellent.
5. “No Tears Left to Cry” – Ariana Grande
There is no way we can’t touch upon this song without directly talking about the Manchester Bombings during her concert. A real heartbreaking news story that probably changed a lot of people’s aspects on life when they experience such an event. About a year after said events, Ariana announced her first single off her new album and don’t tell me you didn’t expect it had anything to do with what happened. And after you answer that hypothetical statement, answer this. Did anybody expect for the song to turn out the way it did?
I know I sure didn’t. The moment I heard those opening notes, I was definitely expecting a ballad. Then all of a sudden, it hits you with an infectious arrangement of disco and optimism. It’s defiant about just sitting back and it wants you to go out and inspire.
And inspire it did. It inspired me to not sit back and dwell in negativity. To keep pushing forward and that everything will be alright. Which was much needed in a year where the popular culture was very sad and pessimistic. Ariana Grande was a shining light and gives me hope that pop music will come back swinging. Seriously, I’ve got a good feeling she will be on future best lists to come. So thank u, next.
SpoilerWow did I not expect Khalid to get THIS huge. When I first heard this song, I saw all the potential in the world for this guy…but I did not expect him to stick around. And yeah I really liked Location an awful lot at first, but since it stuck around for as long as it did, I got tired of it pretty fast. And then Khalid started appearing everywhere in 2017 and the aura started to fade pretty quickly as he started to fill out those guest spots on practically every song that needed his deep soulful voice.
Look, I still like him and I’m glad he’s become so successful, but he really needed to slow down a bit and become more selective with his projects. And then he did. And he picked up the biggest hit of his career.
4. “Love Lies” – Khalid & Normani
Man, these soundtrack hits are really starting to come back in a big way in the back half of the 2010s. Yes, for those of you who don’t know, this song was off the soundtrack for the coming of age romance movie Love, Simon. A very progressive, great teen movie that should have been more successful than it actually was with how well it tackles coming out in this day and age. And with how John Hughes-esque most of this movie reminded me of, it really needed that big soaring soundtrack smash, and while it got that, it took Love Lies months and months to really become that smash.
Let’s get this out of the way first, the chemistry is what makes this song as excellent as it is. Not knocking both of their performances because this is the best either artist has ever sounded. It’s hard to believe that both of these two are as young as they are because they sound beyond their years in terms of vocals and intimate chemistry. Of course this has come to be expected of Khalid since his voice might be the best for males in pop right now. And he’s stated for the record that he went into this collaboration wanting to make a song that will always remember and be a career defining song for him. He’s definitely succeeded on that part for me.
I want to talk more about Normani though. While it was easy to hate on Fifth Harmony in the peak of their fame, I couldn’t ever find myself to completely do that. I saw potential in two people specifically that their voices stuck out to intrigue me as to where their careers will go. One was Lauren Jauregui, who hasn’t had that career defining hit yet, but I’ve liked the road she’s taken so far to get there. The other was Normani, who got featured the most outside of Camila Cabello. If this is the road Normani is going to take to get to stardom, I fully support it.
But yeah, this was the sleeper hit of the year taking almost thirty weeks to finally get to the top ten. The fact that this had longevity shows that the quality wasn’t total shit after all. More of this please.
SpoilerI think country music is finally starting to become relevant again.
After years and years of getting swept under the rug for mostly pop and rap to dominate the music landscape, country hasn’t been relevant in a long ass time outside of the brief and embarrassing blip that was the bro-country boom.
But with pop music grasping for anything radio safe this year, we saw pop calling Nashville for help and country fully took advantage of it. I heard more country on pop radios around me this year more than I’ve ever before. Maren Morris collabed with Zedd on his biggest hit ever, Florida Georgia Line have been on MULTIPLE pop songs, shoot even Dan & Shay had an actual crossover hit.
Ignoring the prior two examples listed above, this is definitely the most country music I’ve seen on a year-end list I’ve seen since I started doing these. I think it’s only fitting that at least one song makes my best list and it comes from….
…Rhett Sheeran?!?!!
3. “Marry Me” – Thomas Rhett
…man I still can’t come to grasps with this. I did not expect Thomas Rhett to have this sort of song in him. The Thomas Rhett I used to know doesn’t make country music and ripped off bigger better pop songs. Yet here he is on a year-end list with an actual country music song and it completely defies my expectations every time I hear it.
Seriously if you look at the title of that song, you expect it to be a wedding song. But then, you get to the chorus and find out that it’s about a guy who is losing the love of his life to someone else. Then you keep listening expecting him to make some big romantic gesture to win this girl back…but then he doesn’t and just keeps drinking whiskey in the back of the church to numb the emotional pain.
…you just don’t get songs like this in country music these days. This is the type of country music I fell in love with when I was a kid. Songs about the misery one goes through and how much pain and devoid of any hope one suffers. And we got this from the guy who gave us “MAKES ME WANNA”. This bucked my expectations and it’s nice to see Thomas Rhett make such mature strides as an artist.
Congratulations, you’re no longer Rhett Sheeran. Keep it up.
SpoilerJust because this song isn’t making an appearance on my best list at all doesn’t mean I don’t like it. Because I do. It’s good. I just wish the production did more for it to really stick out. But without a doubt, buy your stocks in Dua Lipa. This woman is a pop superstar in the making.
2. “IDGAF” – Dua Lipa
Barely made the year end list, but came super close to topping this best list. This was the only real challenge to make an impact on the charts this year that could have given my number one a fight for its money. I mean you just don’t hear pop songs like this anymore. Pop songs with real personality and presence. I can’t stress enough how much Dua Lipa’s sheer blunt aggression dominates this song. Like seriously, I kind of feel bad for this guy that Dua Lipa is singing about because when it comes to who won this breakup, I think that the results are clearly leveraging in her favor.
Also let’s give more credit to the instrumentation. The guitar strumming is good, but that percussion fucking kills. It only enforces how many laps Dua Lipa is running over this guy. Like every time those drums get louder, the more cutting Dua’s lyrics get. When Dua tells this guy that she doesn’t give a fuck, you better hope to god that he gets down on his knees or she will destroy him even more. It’s been years since we’ve gotten a pop song about break ups that is this detailed and has the instrumentation to back it up. This is what I wanted “New Rules” to be.
Honestly, I don't want to analyze this any further. This is one of the few times where the music just speaks for itself. Just listen and get soaked in its greatness. And then invest in Dua Lipa. Don't sleep on her any further and stream her music today.
SpoilerAs I mentioned earlier, it was a very close contest for this number one. Like this is seriously one of the better best lists I’ve covered for this decade. And speaking of this decade, I think it is only fitting that my choice for the best hit song of this year goes to not just the most successful artist of this year, but this entire decade.
Yep. Let’s do this.
1. “Nice For What” – Drake
I’ve given Drake so much shit over the past few years for not taking a break and going the hell away, but even amongst the constant shit talking, I still like him. I know I know, I’m so damn sick of him being around all the time like the rest of you are. But he’s made just way too much music that I’ve liked to outright hate him. And even with the decline in quality from his albums, they still contain plenty of songs that make me remember why I was a fan to begin with. And here we are from the biggest album of 2018 comes the best song from that album.
When I first heard this, I was at a loss for words. I thought for sure entering in to that wonderful Lauryn Hill sample, that this had to be a mistake and that it was a long lost Kanye song. But no, I was completely wrong. That definitely sounds like Drake. And not just any Drake. An energized Drake who sounds completely alive and not his trademarked mellowed tone as of late. I guess the formula is that when you give a beat with some real energy, you will get a more inspired Drake. Congratulations Murda Beatz. You should have been given a featured credit for this.
Look, I will give Drake his due diligence. Yeah he sounds alive which helps, but he has a writing credit for this too and this is some great writing. After all the crap he’s forced onto the listening public over the last four years, it’s nice to know that the old Drake is still in there. Especially with all the concern trolling he’s had in his singles as of late. This sounds like a genuine Drake talking about actual women in his life and how they don’t need a man to make themselves feel better. See? It’s all about the context in comparison to “Girls Like You” where even Adam Levine admitted months ago before it became huge that he doesn’t know who their song is specifically for. That’s why “Nice For What” actually feels empowering because Drake’s lyrics are actually relatable.
But you know what my favorite part is? That breakdown. It gets me pumped every fucking time and I can just picture anyone listening to this breakdown dancing around and having a good time. Hell, I can picture the empowered women in Drake’s music video doing the same thing when they heard this. Which btw, this video is also excellent because all these women are beautiful and are having fun and are most importantly, strong independent women.
I hope what I’m about to say doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass, but I’ll just go out and say it. I will sit through more of Drake’s overlong slog of albums he’s been forcing out if that means I’ll get one more “Nice For What”. Best song of Drake’s career.
Full Rankings:
Spoiler1. “Nice For What” – Drake
2. “IDGAF” – Dua Lipa
3. “Marry Me” – Thomas Rhett
4. “Love Lies” – Khalid & Normani
5. “No Tears Left to Cry” – Ariana Grande
6. “Ric Flair Drip” – Offset & Metro Boomin
7. "Delicate" - Taylor Swift
8. “I Like It” – Cardi B, Bad Bunny, & J Balvin
9. “All the Stars” – Kendrick Lamar & SZA
10. “BIG BANK” – YG (featuring 2 Chainz, Big Sean, and Nicki Minaj)
11. “Finesse” – Bruno Mars & Cardi B
12. “Havana” – Camila Cabello
13. “Stir Fry” – Migos
14. “Feel It Still” – Portugal. The Man
15. “SICKO MODE” – Travis Scott
16. “Bad at Love” – Halsey
17. “Powerglide” – Rae Sremmurd & Juicy J
18. “One Kiss” – Calvin Harris & Dua Lipa
19. “God is a woman” – Ariana Grande
20. “This Is America” – Childish Gambino
21. “Tequila” – Dan & Shay
22. “New Rules” – Dua Lipa
23. “King’s Dead” – Jay Rock, Kendrick Lamar, Future, James Blake
24. “Sky Walker” – Miguel (featuring Travis Scott)
25. “No Limit” – G-Eazy (featuring A$AP Rocky and Cardi B)
26. “I Get the Bag” – Gucci Mane (featuring Migos)
27. “Bodak Yellow” – Cardi B
28. “Better Now” – Post Malone
29. “Whatever It Takes” – Imagine Dragons
30. “Moonlight” - XXXTentacion
31. “How Long” – Charlie Puth
32. “In My Feelings” – Drake
33. “Sorry Not Sorry” – Demi Lovato
34. “God’s Plan” - Drake
35. “MotorSport” – Migos, Cardi B, & Nicki Minaj
36. “Let You Down” – NF
37. “LOVE.” – Kendrick Lamar
38. “Too Good at Goodbyes” – Sam Smith
39. “Happier” – Marshmello & Bastille
40. “Boo’d Up” – Ella Mai
41. “Trip” – Ella Mai
42. “1-800-273-8255” – Logic (featuring Alessia Cara and Khalid)
43. “Youngblood” – 5 Seconds of Summer
44. “Nonstop” – Drake
45. “Lemon” – N*E*R*D & Rihanna
46. “Dura” – Daddy Yankee
47. “Say Something” – Justin Timberlake (featuring Chris Stapleton)
48. “Pray For Me” – The Weeknd & Kendrick Lamar
49. “Eastside” – Benny Blanco, Halsey, & Khalid
50. “Freaky Friday” – Lil Dicky (featuring Chris Brown)
51. “Young, Dumb, & Broke” - Khalid
52. “In My Blood” – Shawn Mendes
53. “Get Along” – Kenny Chesney
54. “Wolves” – Marshmello & Selena Gomez
55. “I Fall Apart” – Post Malone
56. “Psycho” – Post Malone (featuring Ty Dolla Sign)
57. “FRIENDS” – Marshmello & Anne-Marie
58. “Taste” – Tyga (featuring Offset)
59. “Mercy” – Brett Young
60. “The Middle” – Zedd, Maren Morris, & Grey
61. “Simple” – Flordia Georgia Line
62. “Look Alive” – BlocBoy JB (featuring Drake)
63. “One Number Away” – Luke Combs
64. “Thunder” – Imagine Dragons
65. “Heaven” – Kane Brown
66. “Bartier Cardi” – Cardi B (featuring 21 Savage)
67. “Plain Jane” – ASAP Ferg
68. “What Lovers Do” – Maroon 5 (featuring SZA)
69. “Gucci Gang” – Lil Pump
70. “X” – Nicky Jam & J Balvin
71. “Lucid Dreams” – Juice WRLD
72. “SAD!” – XXXTentacion
73. “You Make It Easy” – Jason Aldean
74. “Call Out My Name” – The Weeknd
75. “No Brainer” – DJ Khaled (featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo, & Chance the Rapper)
76. “Shape of You” – Ed Sheeran
77. “Mine” – Bazzi
78. “Be Careful” – Cardi B
79. “rockstar” – Post Malone (featuring 21 Savage)
80. “Mi Gente” – J Balvin & Willy William
81. “Natural” – Imagine Dragons
82. “Outside Today” – YoungBoy Never Broke Again
83. “Walk It Talk It” – Migos (featuring Drake)
84. “I Like Me Better” – Lauv
85. “Him & I” – G-Eazy & Halsey
86. “Te Bote” – Casper Magico, Nio Garcia, Darell, Nicky Jam, Ozuna, Bad Bunny
87. “Girls Like You” – Maroon 5 (featuring Cardi B)
88. “Believer” – Imagine Dragons
89. “Meant to Be” – Bebe Rexha & Florida Georgia Line
90. “GUMMO” – 6ix9ine
91. “Back to You” – Selena Gomez
92. “Plug Walk” – Rich the Kid
93. “Lights Down Low” – MAX (featuring gnash)
94. “Wait” – Maroon 5
95. “I’m Upset” – Drake
96. “Yes Indeed” – Lil Baby & Drake
97. “FEFE” – 6ix9ine (featuring Nicki Minaj and Murda Beatz)
98. “Never Be The Same” – Camila Cabello
99. “Perfect” – Ed Sheeran
100. “Changes” – XXXTentacion
Any further analysis about any songs I didn't cover on these year end lists? Feel free to ask and I'll gladly share. And as always guys, thanks for reading. Next up is the worst movies lists coming in January.
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Spoiler
Okay I really had to sit on this one for a bit. And before anyone reads further into this, in the end I still think I like this movie, but it’s definitely nowhere near as good as the first.
When I first saw it, I really liked it a lot. But then the more I thought about it, it started to sour on me a bit for multiple reasons.
First off, and this was my biggest problem, was the motivations for Vanellope. In the first Wreck-It Ralph, it was emphasized heavily that “Going Turbo” was a bad thing. That was emphasized so much in the entire first movie and how bad it was for the arcade games in general to get shut down because of it.
In this one, Vanellope pretty much had the same motivation as King Candy/Turbo. She was getting bored of her game and wanted more. And in the end, she got what she wanted and her game didn’t get shut down. So are you telling me that anyone who plays Candy Rush from this point forward won’t recognize that Vanellope isn’t a playable character anymore and the game won’t be shut down? They emphasized at the end of the last game and the beginning of this one that her character became the most popular option. That bothered me a lot that something so important in the first movie got overlooked in order to make the moral work.
Speaking of the moral, I had no problem with it because it isn’t done as often in animated movies so it didn’t feel as overdone. But I didn’t like how it made the characters somewhat out of character from the first movie to make it work. I already went in detail about Vanellope, but Ralph was definitely overly clingy to the point that I’m surprised Vanellope didn’t tell him off any sooner. The only positive that case from Ralph being so OCD about Vanellope was that it made Ralph out to be the villain, which was a pretty good twist so Ralph can learn his lesson himself.
Thank goodness that the Disney self love sequence was not as substantial as I was fearing. I especially liked how the Disney princess sequence tied in to the rest of the movie. And the rest of the internet references weren’t as cliche as I was initially fearing. Although I am surprised that they couldn’t get rights to showing YouTube in the movie when they did have Google. Google owns YouTube. BuzzTube worked obviously, but I just found it silly they couldn’t get the rights to have YouTube. And one last thing...Fix-It Felix and Sgt Calhoun were pretty much useless. Their subplot was nothing. We didn’t see how the kids stopped acting like brats. It meant absolutely nothing to the movie and that’s a shame.
Otherwise, the movie was good. The first was a lot better but the second was fine. I hope we don’t get any more of these movies.
Also, the title Ralph Breaks the Internet makes sense in context in the movie once you watch it and it makes sense in two ways.
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The two Guillermo Del Toro movies are barely over ten years old and were supremely underrated for many reasons. The visuals were excellent and Ron Perlman just nailed the part of Hellboy. He looked fantastic and the CGI for the character looked real good as well.
This series needed to get rebooted...why? Like I wasn’t completely against the idea originally since I know that Guillermo Del Toro and Universal were at odds about finances and what not for the last ten years to the point that Universal pretty much put the nail in the coffin and basically said “fuck it, we’ll just sell off the franchise to another studio”.
But this is the best that Lionsgate and Summit could do? I like Neil Marshall’s television work. I like David Harbour, especially because of Stranger Things. This just looks god awful. The visuals look like shit. David Harbour sounds like he’s phoning it in for the paycheck. And this creative vision for Hellboy, whether it was the studio or the director, pretty much looks like everyone involved has been heavily influenced by modern Marvel movies.
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More like Men in Black Ragnarok.
For real though, I loved the chemistry between Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson in that movie, so when I heard they were going to team up again for a Men in Black reboot, that gave me instant hope that this was going to be watchable.
Based off this trailer, I think it’s promising. It does miss the charm of Will Smith that made the franchise what it was as well as Tommy Lee Jones playing the straight man to the series bizarre premise. But this looks like a lot more fun than the last two MIB films and like I said about the comedic chemistry, I can feel it here too from their interactions in the trailer. I want to see more.
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I lucid dreamt once that you left me falling and landing inside my grave.
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Best animated movie of the year. And that’s coming from someone who thought The Incredibles 2 was excellent.
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Peter Jackson will never be able to recreate the success of The Lord of the Rings trilogy. I’ve known and accepted this for awhile, but each passing big budgeted adaptation is becoming more and more apparent.
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EDIT: Don't know why any of these YouTube videos aren't coming up. Sorry guys, hopefully will get this fixed soon.
So yeah, how about 2018 hit music?
It sucked. It really sucked. I know I sound like I say this every other year but outside of 2014’s awful awful music, 2018 was the worst year because music doesn’t matter anymore. Like I take a look at this year-end list and I think to myself, wait that was a single? I thought it came from one of the god knows how many album bombs that came from this year?
And since we are an album listening society again, where does that put our usual source of singles? Outdated. Simply put, Top 40 stations are afraid to play trap music because that is clearly what’s popular no question. Outside of Drake, Post Malone, Nicki Minaj, and Cardi B, you’re not going to see pop music even attempt to make Migos and Kendrick crossover unless they appear as guest artists. And then you have iTunes, which I don’t know how many of you know this, but Apple is putting an end to it, or at least it’s current format, since streaming is the new trend. And if our ploy for streaming is to stream the songs of only a limited amount of artists, then that sure was the case this year.
Look what I’m saying is this year’s Top 10 worst hit songs was not fun to write. You know this was a bad year when I feel the exact same way about most of my worst list as I do the dishonorable mentions. This year’s hit songs were a near perfect representation of depression. Because I got no emotion while making this list. I tried hart to force myself to rant about these songs but it wasn’t as fun as it used to be. Let’s just get this over with since I unlocked all the Smash Bros characters in only three days. Can I talk about that instead? Please?
DISHONORABLE MENTIONS:
Spoiler“rockstar” – Post Malone (featuring 21 Savage)
The massive success of this song is still baffling to me. And nearly a year later it still wouldn’t go the hell away. I think I’ve come to terms that I’ll never get what there is to like about this. Doesn’t mean I don’t think it is freaking hot garbage either way.
“Walk It Talk It” – Migos (featuring Drake)
And the award for most annoying two seconds in a hit song of 2018. Like I said, not the worst, just the most annoying. I hate hate HATE that this is the chorus. Just when I thought the Versace days were long past Migos, it’s like I’m in 2012 all over again. At least Takeoff’s verse is easily the only good part of this song. And I do like the video a lot.
“I Like Me Better” – Lauv
Do I really hate this slog of a song this much? I honestly don’t know and don’t really care if I do or not. It somehow had huge chart success though lasting as long as it did in the bottom half of the charts practically 80% of its run and made my work playlist because god forbid they actually play something culturally relevant. Yeah I don’t know who this song would even possibly remotely be for every time I hear it. It’s like a cockroach that won’t die.
“Te Bote” – A Shit Ton of Latin Rappers
I’ve said in the past that I can’t really hate something I don’t completely understand. And yeah I don’t get the appeal of Latin trap music. Not because of the language barrier. But because practically every song I’ve heard from the genre this year is whiny bitchfit after whiny bitchfit. They can’t all be like this, can they? This is no different. It doesn’t have that god awful production work “Mi Gente” had to secure a spot on my official worst list. But the fact that you had to have six people perform one song about how they dumped one girl in particular. Jesus. Lay it on any thicker why don’t you. What a whiny bitchfit that goes on for seven fucking minutes….what the fuck? There are episodes of SpongeBob that this is longer (and less interesting) than.
“Be Careful” – Cardi B
Do I really hate this song that much too? Honestly, everything about this song is just okay. But then we get to one of the worst choruses of the year and it earns its spot on the dishonorable mentions list. Seriously, what kind of chorus is this? Where’s the intensity? Where’s the personality that I’ve come to expect from Cardi’s music? How can you call this a song about scorching anyone who dares to mess with you and be this fucking limp? Inexcusable.
“Outside Today” – YoungBoy Never Broke Again
I’m sorry to every rapper who I’ve ever criticized for having a god awful rap name. This might just be the absolute worst. And his material isn’t that much better. You know for a rapper who is trying to dodge the police by not going outside, he sure has no problem flexing for…his pets? Bitches? I don’t know, this song sucks.
“Him & I” – G-Eazy & Halsey
It’s funny to see how dated this song has already become within the year it was released. 2003 Bonnie and Clyde you’re not. Hell, if anything, you’re only making me like that song even more. And if the post break-up songs that these two have released since then are a sign of things to come, god forbid please stop writing songs about each other.
“Mi Gente” – J Balvin & Willy William
What the fuck? This charted again? Why!?!?! I will say this. For still having one of the worst productions of all time, I will say this is at least more interesting than some of the other Latin trap that crossed over this year.
“Natural” – Imagine Dragons
This song gives me “Believer” flashbacks in the worst way. Are we sure this isn’t the same song? Be careful Imagine Dragons because you are dangerously treading Maroon 5 levels of ripping yourself off.
“Believer” – Imagine Dragons
Then again. I’ll take “Believer” flashbacks over the actual song which also somehow charted the second year in a row. Good lord, this was a bad year to be a hit single.
“Girls Like You” – Maroon 5 (featuring Cardi B)
Ladies and gentlemen, our Super Bowl halftime performers with their number one smash single…god how did we let this happen? Almost want to put this on the list proper but Cardi B’s verse, as out of place as it is, still saves it for me.
“Meant to Be” – Bebe Rexha & Florida Georgia Line
Dull as dirt. Consider this my annual honorary number eleven…
“GUMMO” – 6ix9ine
Nope, just kidding. This is my honorary eleventh worst song of the year. I know some of you were expecting this to make the list proper because of how much I dived into how incredibly uninteresting and untalented Tekashi is earlier this year in my only seasonal chart ranking of 2018.
But fucking hell, I can’t place this song on the list proper with all my might. I like this beat. It’s menacing. It’s intimidating. Shoot, the shouting works for the song too. I just hate everything else about it so fucking much and 6ix9ine himself just has no star power.
Clappy's Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2018
SpoilerStarting off this countdown, correctly by not talking about music at all. As I mentioned, I’m not going to be making a proper television list this year because of my year without cable. I’ll instead be talking about all the shows I watched on streaming services this year, which includes shows on cable technically. But I didn’t watch enough to make proper lists. However, do you guys want to know what my worst show of 2018 is?
Yep. My second best show of 2017 is my worst of 2018. That’s how god awful this second season was. Talk about ruining a great series. Back on topic though, this show produced one of the biggest pop hits of this year and I fucking hate it.
10. “Back to You” – Selena Gomez
It’s become hard for me to recall whatever talent Selena Gomez once had with how hollow of a performer she has become. 2017 was where we enter a new chapter in Selena Gomez’s career. Where her empty vessel personality found new success working with EDM producers. And you know what, it makes sense. Because so much of her music is void of personality, why not collaborate with a genre where that works in your favor? Especially since her last few solo outings were all flopping like other pop acts have been doing as of late.
…okay I’ve been stalling long enough. This song is fucking boring. I’m so sick of Selena Gomez pretty much remaking the same damn song over and over again. You all know which one I’m talking about. This song is practically any other “Is it or isn’t it about Justin Bieber?” love song that she’s been doing for the past four or five years now. It is all sugar cookie levels of bland boring mush. And you know what, just because this an especially bad year, I was super close to just placing this on the dishonorable mentions list and calling it a day. But then, something happens in this song and oh man…
https://ytcropper.com/cropped/ul5c13a8dd58a31
…that might be the worst drop in a mainstream pop song I’ve ever heard. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? First off, did the drums just trip over themselves into that trainwreck a second early? The guitar player sounds like he just walked into the studio, recorded itself over this production that should have been built up to a few measures earlier, and most importantly, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SUPPOSE TO MAKE ME FEEL? I guess that could be said for most drops these days, but this drop especially lacks absolutely no punch and is especially flavorless. And while I bet an actual producer produced this weak ass shit, since Selena Gomez isn’t crediting the producer for a change, I’m putting the blame on her. I bet she told the producers to give her a drop that masks how empty and hollow as she is. Well it worked.
Spoilerhttps://screenrant.com/fortnite-game-year-2018/
So I assume you all have seen by now the outrage of Fortnite winning video game of the year, pissing off a bunch of hardcore gamers who feel like that title belongs to Red Dead Redemption 2 or Super Smash Bros Ultimate (the game is barely out as of now guys, chill lmao...even though it's amazing). Me personally, I don’t care. I definitely get why it’s winning so many awards. It transcended being just a video game to more than that. It became a cultural phenomenon this year. Hell, it spawned memes.
Yes this video was one of the many huge memes inspired by that victory dance. And it made the song a hit. And I fucking hate it.
9. “Plug Walk” – Rich the Kid
Yes 2018 was a breakout year for this guy, who has been cosigned by Kendrick Lamar of all people. And…I don’t fucking get why. He doesn’t stand out even the slightest bit. This guy is so fucking basic that you could literally hypothesize what this song is going to be about and you’ll nail everything on the by the numbers trap song check list:
-Desaturated beat
-Bragging about how much money he makes
-Dealing drugs (hence the title)
-Brand name flexing
-Naming his luxury car
-Stealing YOUR girl (who else?)And look, I’m not hating him for being a basic trap rapper. It’s just that there is nothing that makes him or this song memorable. His flow is weak. There’s no intensity for a song about dealing drugs. Hell, I commend Fortnite memes for giving this guy a hit because otherwise I would just know him as the guy that Lil Uzi Vert confronted and made him look like even more of a bitch.
Plug Walk. A forgettable song that was only made a hit because of a stupid dance in an online game. If this is how we are going to get hits going forward, bring back Vine challenge songs. Yes I said it.
SpoilerSo with radio stations being so out of touch with what people are listening to, they had to fill the airwaves with something. Right?
8. “Lights Down Low” – MAX (featuring gnash)
Legitimate question. Who repeatedly wants to listen to this? Because no joke. This was a top five pop radio hit and that was the only way this racked up enough points to make this year-end list. Streaming and sales were practically non-existent from what I’ve read, so clearly there was some audience out there that wanted to listen to this dull snoozefest while stuck in traffic during rush hour.
And I know what you are all thinking about me. I only put this on the worst list because of what I said about Gnash two years ago and how I never want to hear from this guy ever again. Well yeah, that is definitely true and this song definitely doesn’t change that. Especially after hearing him tell this girl that he will treat her better than her other man. Thank you Shawn Mendes for bringing back that fucking terrible nice guy trope back. And by that I mean fuck you.
Honestly, and somehow, this Max guy is even worse. And he does it in one of the most familiar ways imaginable. This is the most prime example of how punchable these white guys with acoustic guitars so badly want to get in a girl’s pants. Hell you can tell that just from those opening guitar plucks. That poor guitar sounds like it is suffering by some asshole playing it like it’s a hunting bow. PAY ATTENTION TO MY GUITAR STRUMMING GIRLS. IT"S A REAL GUITAR! How hacktastic.
But yeah, turn the lights down ladies, so Max can earnestly bone you.
SpoilerOkay I’ll stop with the bashing of tracking the radio for the Hot 100 because it will seriously derail this countdown even more. But let me get one more punchline in. Who the hell is still listening to Maroon 5 without any guest rapper in 2018?
7. “Wait” – Maroon 5
…I guess some people are since Girls Like You was, once again, a number one smash hit…what the actual fuck. My question still stands though about Maroon 5, themselves. I have multiple mediums to stream music from Apple Music to Spotify to YouTube and not once did this song appear on any of my playlists nor the top charts. So this only had to get popular through radio calls. I will give them credit though. They sure know how to ride the radio station algorithms right down to the point. Because I could have mistaken this song for practically anything on the radio this year. Which I did. Often.
What’s even the point to get mad at Maroon 5 songs anymore? I would say they exist, but that would require for Maroon 5 to exist by association and I am a firm believer that the entire band is CGI at this point. Except for Adam Levine though, who appears on television every Monday and Tuesday to remind us that he is “a human being”.
This song in particular though. I can at least give credit to all of their other hit singles for having some element to make it distinctly memorable. What’s memorable here? Levine’s annoying vocal melody? The subject matter being as overdone and pointless as ever? Nothing. Nothing about this song has any reason to exist. Hell, it’s not even catchy. I've kept Maroon 5 off my worst list the past few years for not being ambitiously bad enough, but that's completely different from this which is not even ambitious enough to be anything.
Not a single element about this song even tries to be ambitious enough to warrant it being around. Let alone chart for half a year. Making this the longest lasting chart run Maroon 5 has had for a single song in years. For this pile of nothing that I’ll probably forget about by the time this post is finished. Can’t wait to get turnt up to this at the Super Bowl.
Spoiler2018 sure was a huge year for Drake. Probably the main reason why I barely tackled my music thread this year to be honest because it was a shit ton of Drake and I didn’t want to drive myself into a creative writing block. When it’s all said and done, this will be the decade of Drake and while one could argue that 2016 was probably his biggest year, 2018 will be the year I consider his peak fame year. I mean Christ, he’s on at least 1/10 of this year end list. So it’s only fitting to me that one of those songs made this list.
6. “I’m Upset” – Drake
You know for a song called ‘I’m Upset’, this sure sounds as boring and monotonous as a good portion of the music you’ve forced onto the listening public for the last four years Aubrey. Hey guys, do you know how tough it is to be Drake? To constantly have problems with the women he’s dated and to be the biggest artist in the game right now? Man no wonder he’s upset. I’m not sorry for him. Not after the year he’s had. Not after getting rightfully outed for being a deadbeat. He’s done this song thousands of times and the longer he keeps this sort of shit up, the less I feel any sort of sympathy for his shit. If you want to know why I hated Scorpion so much, look no further at one of the prime examples of what most of that shit was like.
But after this was released as a response to Pusha and rightfully collapsed the following weeks, I expected it to die off, reappear with the album bomb in the coming month, and not make the year end list at all. But no. This song’s staying power was in large part because Drake decided this song needed a music video. And not just any video; his long awaited return to his Degrassi roots. Look, I’ll be blunt. I was never a Degrassi fan, but I know plenty of you are as well as my friends offline are too. They freaked out just like some of you did. I liked the Jay and Silent Bob cameos if that means anything. Song still fucking sucks though.
SpoilerAre you guys ready for more Drake on this list?
5. “Yes Indeed” – Lil Baby & Drake
Well that answers that question. God Drake has been cosigning absolute shit these past few years.
I know I’ve trashed his cosigns a lot these past few years, but I’ll be honest. The Drake seal of approval has led to some of the biggest names in music right now. Migos, The Weeknd, Travis Scott, hell even Kendrick all at one point were all cosigned by Aubrey. His seal of approval use to mean something at one point.
Now? It’s an absolute joke. Honestly, it feels like he just picks these no names just to remind us how worse off we could all be for the amount of times people complain about how sick they are of him. And you know what? He’s right. If it comes to having Drake force more music onto the public and listen to these no names try and replicate him, I’ll take the former in a heartbeat.
I’ll just get straight to the point of this song. Drake brags about how awesome he is for thirty seconds and Lil Baby mumbles and bumbles monotonously against alright production. You can seriously apply that comment to practically anything out there right now. I’m not joking. I almost considered placing Look Alive on this list for the same reason, but at least I remember Drake’s part and the production on that is much better.
What does a Lil Baby fan even look like? If I wanted to listen to a rapper that does what he does better, I would listen to Young Thug. He at least has charisma. Lil Baby has zero star power. If the most I can remember from this song is a Pikachu reference and a super lame cringe joke about how awful your stage name is, then you just don’t have it.
Spoilerhttps://consequenceofsound.net/2018/11/tekashi-6ix9ine-prison-sentence/
What could be worse than 6ix9ine’s unjustified success as a recording artist? How about a well-established artist clinging onto him for shock value and a last ditch effort to be culturally relevant?
4. “FEFE” – 6ix9ine (featuring Nicki Minaj and Murda Beatz)
You know what I said about GUMMO at least having an interesting production choice? Here they actually credit the producer for the same looped sound effect over and over and repeat until no end in sight. It’s not even that good of a sound to begin with. You sure earned that feature credit Murda Beatz!
But let’s talk about the actual artists involved. When I began this year, I thought I never wanted to hear 6ix9ine shout, but good lord I would rather have that than listen to him autotune crooning the entire song. Autotuning how gross and fucking deplorable he is. Why do people like him again? Because he’s aggressive on the mic? Based off his dull limp, hell even child like flow, it’s like he is telling us about a nursery rhyme:
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
I catch a ho right by her toe
If she ain't fuckin' me and Nicki
Kick that ho right through the doorEWW FUCKING EWW. MUSIC ARTISTS. PLEASE STOP REFERENCING EENIE MEENIE MINEY MO!
Obviously the biggest disappointment in all of this is the involvement of Nicki Minaj. What the fuck is she doing? There is no denying that 2018 will go down as a really bad year for Nicki and we can point out all of the things that went wrong whether it be: her album not debuting at number one, all the meltdowns, the constant shade directed towards Cardi that lead to the confrontation heard from around the world. If 2017 was the year where people were questioning what Katy was doing with her career, 2018 should be the year where people continue to question what Nicki is doing.
But you know what my biggest problem is about this? It makes me miss when music was nostalgically fun to hate. Let’s take a look at ten years ago.
That was then. And this is now. If this is self-admitted stupid tasteless music standards today, then (I can’t believe I’m saying this) take me back to the days of will.i.am and Flo Rida over bland uninteresting pedophiles. How easy is that to make clear?
SpoilerYeah this song is still great. And early spoiler, but this won’t be making my top ten list this year. Overplay kind of killed it a bit for me. But hey, at least I was right about one thing. This will be the best thing Camila Cabello will ever do.
3. “Never Be the Same” – Camila Cabello
Look I know a lot of you like this song and are huge Camila stans who will hate me for placing this lower than rainbow pedo man above. Good for you. Variety in opinions is a good thing. But this song is fucking abysmal to me. Nothing pisses me off more than wasted potential. I know how good Camila can be. And just like “Havana”, it wouldn’t go the hell away because it was one of the few legitimate smash hits from pop music this year. Unlike “Havana”, my opinion only got worse and worse the more I heard this. Where the hell do I even start with this?
First off, and this might only be a thing for me. I’m so damn tired of the love-drug metaphors in pop music. I honestly hate it more than fire metaphors. It’s overdone, beaten to a bloody pulp, and I can think of dozens of songs right off the top of my head that use this abused analogy better. Hell, I can think of another pop song from this decade that uses it better.
Yeah, probably one of the few early Kesha songs that I’m not afraid to admit that I like. Why? Because it actually sounds like she is on drugs while performing this. Breaking the trope norms that come with it.
Camila sounds like she’s on drugs too…antidepressants. Which that fits the mood of culture today pretty well. But this isn’t even interesting levels of love/drug dependency. She is listing off drugs like they are trading cards. Even then, it’s not all you need if you’re talking about how much you need this guy more.
And look I was forgiving of her vocals on "Havana" because it worked with what the song was about. But I can’t forgive them here. I’ve said this once and I’ll say it again and again until it’s beaten to death. If you’re trying to sell how your emotions are a mess, then go all out. Don’t hold back and Camila actually restrains herself from doing just that to a fault.
At the end of the day, I’ll remember "Havana". I won’t remember this. This is dreadfully forgettable.
Please send your complaints to my address below:
Clappy
23 Sesame Street
Nowhereville, VASpoilerAnd speaking of pop songs that wouldn’t go the hell away....yes I'm going there.
2. “Perfect” – Ed Sheeran
This song charted for over a whole fucking year. I understood letting that happen to “Thinking Out Loud”, hell I understood letting “Shape of You” chart for nearly sixty weeks. But this? WHY? Was the adult contemporary crowd really against letting this one’s chart run die out until Billboard forced it away? Hell no joke, this song’s chart run was so successful that it gave Ed’s new album potentially TWO SONGS IN THE DECADE TOP TWENTY.
This is the most disposable song in Ed Sheeran’s entire discography. I’ve said some bad things about his love songs in the past, but at least they had some distinct Ed Sheeran song tropes that only Ed could do. Any hack could have performed this and it wouldn’t have been notable, but because we live in the Ed Sheeran age of pop music, this is the biggest pop hit of the year. I'm sorry Camila, this is the biggest example of wasting your potential I've heard in years. We may have had a lot of popstars not trying in recent years and hence why the genre is not as big anymore, but Ed has the biggest clout right now. Him ripping himself off as badly as he has with this is just inexcusable mush. This is him selling out the wedding song market far worse than he did with "Thinking Out Loud". And as someone who is in the process of planning out his wedding, my fiancé and I want an actual meaningful song to be our song. This is meaningless.
This isn’t an example of longevity. This is the example of how badly pure pop music has died off in 2018. A song that it’s time at the top was mostly last year is the biggest pop song of the year. Just perfect.
SpoilerI don’t think I’m mincing words when I say this year sucked a big fat one. And I know what you guys are thinking. What bland boring pile of shit song from this bland boring pile of shit year topped this list?
…you know what, this has become a massive cliché. Hasn’t it? An overlong preamble about how much I hated my number one choice of this year. And don’t get me wrong. I can’t fucking stand a single second of my number one choice. But this year. This god forsaken year. It doesn’t deserve an overlong explanation. Because so much of this year was on mid to low tempo autopilot, so many of these songs had a legitimate chance to top this list. It seriously came down to the wire and who knows. Maybe looking back I’ll think that any one of these songs could have topped this list.
But the song I selected. I couldn’t think of a better example as to how utterly awful and forgettable it was to be a “hit single” in 2018.
1. “Changes” – XXXTentacion
Look, I get that this might an odd choice for my worst hit song of the year and I do think it’s a tragedy that XXXTentacion was taken away from us so soon. After not understanding this guy’s appeal as a performer last year, I kind of understand it a bit more this year. I checked out that new album of his and there is admittedly some good songs that came from “?”, hell “Moonlight” is one of the thirty best hits of this year. What I’m saying is that I’m not placing this song at number one because I hate who he was as a person. I think this song is a steaming pile of dogshit regardless of who performed it.
Even if you had no idea who XXXTentacion was, everything about this song is artistically abysmal. The music is painfully basic. I could play this piano line when I was nine years old. The singing is so insufferably whiny that I could have sung this better. And good lord, these lyrics are so amateur, I could have written them. I shouldn’t be having to point out that I can perform, sing, and write a song better than one of the biggest artists of 2018. This is a YouTube cover song of itself.
There is nothing worth mentioning about the actual song. Poor X, doesn’t like the fact that his girl is changing. That he has to repeat this point. TEN TIMES. And she’s making it hard for X that he has to repeat this point. SIX TIMES.
Never before have I been this pissed off by simplicity. I often mention how the bare minimums in piano ballads better be damn impressive, but this is beyond insulting. The fact that it cracked the Top 40 even before X’s passing goes to show that as a listening public, we are complacent. When I listen to music, I shouldn’t have to listen to something that could have been ripped straight from a Preschoolers’ Guide to Making Pop Music. Get this amateur hour, show and tell crap off my year end charts. This music charting system is broken. 2019, do better!
Thanks for reading guys. Best list is in the works.
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Wow. Way to hit me right in the feels Marvel.
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On 11/14/2018 at 5:03 PM, Kotarou
said:
I miss our occasional legends of the hidden temple days with jenks and sauce?
Shoot I miss our 90s Are All That chats to go along with that.
On 11/14/2018 at 5:17 PM, E.V.I.L. said:I came to the realization a month ago that I'm actually an extrovert and it explains a lot, I hate it tho I get si drained of I cant find peopke to hang with for more than a day or so?
Just remember man that you’re entitled to have your own “me time” too so you can also be your own best friend and not have to hang out with other people. I hope that makes sense what I said.
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On 12/1/2018 at 1:56 PM, Halibut said:
lowkey one of the most exciting yearly events on SBC tbh
Seeing that comment made my day man. Thanks.
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On 11/30/2018 at 12:18 AM, Wumbo said:
year-end watch begins now
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9 hours ago, BenPaz said:
Oh fuck I can do an animation list?
Unlike most other shit I’ve seen essentially every animated film in theaters this year besides like 1 or 2.
Yeah. Steel does animation lists every year.
6 hours ago, Goobz said:I want to participate in this, but I kinda like everything.
You don't have to do worst lists if you don't want to. There are plenty of people like WhoBob and Katniss who only do best lists.
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It’s that time of the year again. It’s the seventh year of the year end entertainment lists. Welcome to list season!
For those of you who are new around here or are discovering this annual topic for the first time, this topic is for the members of SBC to share the best and worst lists of 2018 media. Whether it be movies, music, television, animation...shoot Prez even wanted to do commercials one year.
As always, these lists are for fun. Feel free to share your opinions as always and sit back and enjoy the show.
For my lists this year, I’m doing something different with my television lists since I was without cable for the entire year and relied practically on streaming services. What will I be doing instead? Well you guys will have to tune in to find out.
Thanks for reading and participating guys and I hope you enjoy my 2018 year end lists when they arrive and I look forward to reading yours as well.
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We usually have turkey, although a few years ago we had turducken (turkey, duck, and chicken).
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Hahaha, get it? Catnip is weed. Thank you Illumination for such an incredible original joke that the internet hasn’t already done to death.
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7 hours ago, MMM said:
LMFAO is the only correct answer.
This guy gets it.
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Almost done with this season and oh my god I need to binge through this again because it keeps feeling like I miss small plot points that end up becoming important again later. Still amazing!
Clappy Was Here
in Ask Me
Posted
Eh I wouldn’t consider myself wise but I appreciate the thought though man. Glad someone finds me as such. And you aren’t a baby.
That depends. Would you prefer to have all the money in my pocket?
Still not sure if I’ll do a proper list or not like you mentioned but some of my favorites included: The Good Place (best show of 2018), Atlanta, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Bojack, and two new entries into my favorites list; The Goldbergs (started watching the series in its entirety fairly recently and it really reminds me of an old school 90s TGIF show except it takes place in the 80s) and Superstore (it took me awhile to get into it but I’m really starting to like this).